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#autism is killing me please
onesaltybagel · 15 days
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I CANT TAKE IT
SPOILER BUT THE SEASON 5 TRAILER CAME OUT‼️‼️‼️
THE ANIMATION IS SO WEIRD AND IS DRIVING MY AUTISM HATE OF CHANGE CRAZY BUT I DONT CARE ANYMORE IM GOING TO EXPLODE!!! IM GOING TO IMPLODE!! THEY PUT THE CIRCLET BACK?!?!?!? NOOO! NO!!! NEZHA??,!? MONKIE FORM CONFIRMED!!! SANDY LOSING HIS COOL?!?! WHAT MADE HIM ANGRY PLEASE NO!!!
This season is going to DESTROY ME. Like, this season is going to tear. Me. Apart. I can't do it!!! I CANT IM GOING TO HAVE A BREAKDOWN!!
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crabussy · 7 months
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turned in my psychology essay with the adrenaline levels of a recently retired racing greyhound who just accidentally ingested a bathtub of black coffee but its okay I survived. thank god I don't have unmedicated adhd or anything like that which would cause me to have this experience every single time I have to complete work. wouldn't that be funny. it would be funny. it would. be so funny if that was the case I'm so relieved that its not the case
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deadandphilgames · 1 year
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crying at this thread 😭
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soullessjack · 8 months
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it genuinely kills me very slowly to think that some people can only ever think of jack as the destiel kid and not like an actual person with a myriad of maladjustments or silly funny personality quirks. like he has a whole special red and white fleece lined Christmas jacket and is canonically acknowledged as looking like a stupid hot white boy without any thoughts behind his eyes. He killed a whole fucking archangel and then decided that he really wanted to try making some friends like a week later. they wanna be normal and nice so bad and pretend to be some normal small town boy next door all the time but they were literally so angry once that it took three gunshots fired in the back to make him calm and reasonable.
he stress eats and stays in their room for weeks on end when they’re depressed or upset. they line their shoes up and fold their shirts and wear bright yellow vans and red hi-tops. he’s narratively paralleled to Anakin but his favorite character is Ahsoka. he pretended to be a coke addict and pretended to be a pretty new boy next door again to flirt with a hopelessly romantic girl. women want him and he’s absolutely clueless about it. women and men and probably fish fear him too. he dresses like a combination between an elderly man and a 70’s sitcom hippie. he was literally called Bieber and Suite Life. they like stripe patterns and Hawaiian pizza and movies and computers.
they’re literally an autistic person who just explodes shit when they get overstimulated. They watch riverdale and constantly sweep their hair back in a specific stylistic choice bc he likes looking like that. he fucking decapitated a whole Gorgon and then stole the guy’s snake as a trophy. he says shut up when he’s mad and calls things stupid and says they suck. he’s a teenage girl. he’s. A Teenage boy. He’s non-binary. He sat on the throne of god in grass stained jeans and clunky grandpa sneakers and left it all behind without even blinking as soon as his shitty bunker home called out to him. He sticks his tongue out when he’s focused on something and his left eye pulls up into a squint when he smiles reallt wide and his smile is crooked and he has sleepy eyelids . They decided to defy death herself just to rescue someone he mildly remembered caring about once and then blackmailed a reaper into helping with said rescue plan.
He got turned into the tiniest ugliest dog ever and got a thermometer shoved up his ass in the same episode where he’s narratively symbolized by the ouroboros symbol and makes the deliberate choice of destroying his soul just to selfishly keep his family bc he legitimately cannot handle thinking about losing them without going insane. his nicknames are sweetheart and darling boy and pal and buddy and Jackie Boy and slugger and he apologized to a girl for upsetting her like two episodes after ripping a man’s heart out and eating it raw. He literally actively wants to be a silly little guy that everyone likes but he’s so insane and unwell at the same time. he’s the best character ever and I need the entire world to understand this and to see him as more than just the destiel baby or I will also explode. .
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fortunatefires · 6 months
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nokingsonlyfooles · 2 months
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Help. Pls seal a competent doctor in an envelope and send them to me.
OK. I'm in danger. Ha. Still fighting to stay alive with what I have, but... uh... Two out of three doctors are confirmed incompetent and the third hasn't acquitted himself too well, but I'm not positive he's lacking information I need to live and resistant to learn it. The other two are definitely like that, and that's not good for the ol' complicated health problems. I'm not easy to treat and BOY DO THEY ALL HATE THAT!
Today was the gynecologist. I hate that. I hate having one of those. I hate having to navigate all this gendered shit that's phrased like people like me don't exist. Forget "nonbinary," I have to keep saying "total hysterectomy" over and over and OVER. I hate that this person sees me as NOTHING BUT my gendered body parts and she's REAPEATEDLY refused to engage with anything going on in the rest of my body. I go to this person's office and I become tits and a vagina. Mainly the vagina. With people intermittently forgetting I don't have the other standard equipment.
I didn't know how to prepare for today. I had a week. I made a phone appointment in order to beg for an in-person appointment to lay out all my complicated shit, and she tried to take care of it over the phone anyway. I had not prepared for that. I mentioned that my hair was falling out, as a persistent menopause symptom that was not being addressed, and she focused on that, interrupted me, and went off on how she could not regrow my hair. And, OK. But that wasn't what I meant and she didn't give me room to explain what I DID mean. I did manage to be annoying enough to get the in-person appointment. And then I didn't know what I ought to take with me.
I spent all week going in circles, wondering what she needed to know, and how to say it so she'd understand. I do have the neurodivergent inclination to, you know, explain things when I'm not understood. And I don't know how else to make a doctor understand the type of healthcare I need! Shouldn't they listen to me? I have ample evidence that they don't, but I don't know how they expect to treat me otherwise.
Over the phone, she hit me out of left field with the fact that she's been dragging her feet on my estrogen dose because I had a bad reaction to ONE MEDICATION, ONE TIME. I don't even know if it was the estrogen, it could've been a binding agent or some shit. She decided that for me, she also decided my breast pain was from too much estrogen (even though my dose is at post-menopausal levels) and she's been prescribing me medicine based on that story she told herself.
I told her my experience is that I've never had more breast pain with a higher hormone dose, it's always gotten better... and I'm pretty sure she doesn't believe me. Like, I said that, and she reiterated later that more estrogen causes breast pain. I reiterated, that wasn't my experience and I do have anecdotal evidence at least of women who have breast pain from low estrogen too. She basically went, "OK, here's some higher estrogen. Whatever."
Then I said I was also willing to use the injectable kind, or an implant. Oral estrogen hurt my liver earlier, so I agree with her that something other than that would be safer. I thought she would know about these other methods. I did not research their existence. I mean, estrogen injections? I'm active in trans circles, that's just... That's shit's not special. That's just Tuesday.
She said, "What is that? I've never heard of that." She didn't even know enough about it to think, for a second, "Hmm, maybe I should know about that. Maybe I shouldn't admit I don't know that." Nope. I'm asking for weird medication and the burden is on me to explain this craziness.
What I wanted to say was, "Don't you know even one transwoman? Aren't you in women's health??" But I didn't know what the hell that was gonna get me. I sputtered for a bit and finally managed, "That's... pretty basic gender clinic stuff..."
She said, "Do you want me to refer you to a gender clinic?" right away. Fuck, I should've just said, "YES! I WANT THAT SO MUCH! LET ME GO!" But I was so baffled and confused at that point that I was shaking.
The spouse found a name of an injectable estrogen brand and offered it to her. She had a look at his phone and said, "I don't know what that is and I'm not going to prescribe it if I don't know what it is." She offered a referral to another doctor that does, "Off-label stuff, the crazy stuff the rest of us don't want to deal with." Ha-ha, okay. Cool. Yeah. That's me!
So I have a new patch with more estrogen in it and GOD HELP ME if I have a bad reaction to it. I've never been on this particular type of estradiol before, but I wasn't getting any traction when I asserted there are different kinds of estrogen that I may tolerate better or not as well. No acknowledgement. No engagement. More irrelevant information from the special snowflake who looks things up on the internet and thinks they're smarter than a doctor. Fucking hell, BUT I KNOW WHAT ESTROGEN INJECTIONS ARE.
Oh, and because we waited over an hour past our appointment time to get in, the garage where we parked our car closed before we could get out. We had to beg to be let in. While I was melting down and feeling like I was gonna pass out.
I got a soda and some nuggets, I'm fine. I lived. I got home and looked up injectable estrogen + Canada, because, deep down, I do doubt myself and wonder if I'm insane. Maybe Canadian transwoman suck their hormones out of the mighty moose, fuck if I know. But, uh, no. It's a thing. Yeah. Pretty basic thing. Once weekly injections. No public option for it, though. Trans folks pay extra to be who they are!
Here's the kicker, while we were waiting for the nuggets and soda, the spouse said, "While she was saying that she didn't know what it was, the poster behind her, with the birth control options? Estrogen injection is the third one on there."
"God, why didn't you just point to it?"
"I didn't know what she'd do."
That's... Probably pretty wise, yeah. I don't think she would've done anything GOOD.
I'm not being allowed to participate in my own healthcare as an equal partner. People are just... making decisions for me and never telling me. And they fight me when I say it's not helping and I try to give them some reasons why. They want me to take what they give me and shut up. But that'll KILL me. It HAS BEEN KILLING ME.
The family doctor is at the root of this, he's in charge of everything. I can't get rid of him. I'm trying, but it's not set up so I can get rid of him. There isn't another doctor available who I can switch to. Clinics are filling the gaps, but I can't shitcan my actual doctor to get care on random from a clinic. They won't let me. I'm not familiar with this system. I know someone who knows it better and they're willing to help. We're going to have to get back in touch with them, and I hope they know what to do.
At the moment... I'm not safe. I'm not getting good care. I'm getting bullying, gaslighting and apathy. So much that I worry about posting this stuff on the internet. Like all y'all aren't going to believe me either. Surely, I must be exaggerating. This is... This reads like warmed-over Kafka, or Catch-22. This is my life. For now. While I'm able to fight for it.
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Working through Penumbra season one and oh god fuck I forgot about the kissing.
As someone who’s aroace and hates the sound of literally anyone kissing, this is my personal hell.
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gender-goth · 6 months
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DETECTIVE ID PACK
self - indulgent.
[PT: Detective ID Pack. self-indulgent /end PT]
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Names
[PT: Names. /end PT]
Dean, Dee, Tec, Clu, Myst, Noir(e), Sher(lock), Watson, Holmes, Dex, Conan, Cleo, Vera, Vesta, Vesper, Indigo, Selma, Velma, Daphne, Dot / Dottie, Iris, Verity, Sylvia, Sylvi, Silver, Zero, Neil, Elmer, Adler, Scarlet, Locke, Harper, Sam, Blythe, Harley, Quinn, Jules, River(s), Darcie / Darcy, Nancy, Duncan, Augustus / Augustine, Darwin, Blanc, Columbus, Poe, Poirot
Pronouns
[PT: Pronouns. /end PT]
detect/detective, case/cases, file/files, evidence/evidences, myst/mystery, sleu/sleuth or sleuth/sleuths, noir(e)/noir(e)s, magni/magnifying, magnifying/glass, glass/glasses, clue/clues, invest/investigate, hypo/hypothesis, murder/murders, crime/crimes, scene/scenes, crime/scene, tape/tapes, solve/solves, stole/stolen, rob/robs, rob/robbery, private/privates, watch/watches, eye/eyes, see/sees, stake/stakes, stake/out
Titles
[PT: Titles. /end PT]
The Sly Detective, The Detective Of The Night, The Detective Who Works Hard To Solve Cases, The Detective Of Many Files, [Prn] Who Has Many Files On [Prns] Desk, The Coffee-Addicted Detective, [Prn] Who Stays Up All Night To Solve The Case, The Mystery Cracker, The Ace Detective, The Sluggish Detective, The Detective Who Dare Not Pass Up A Case, The Crime-Fighting Detective, The One Who Solves A Cold Case, The Prince Detective, The (In)Famous Detective, The Shadow Detective, The Two-Faced Detective, The Shady Detective, The Sinister Detective, [Prn] Who Slacks On Cases, The Seductive Detective, The Lady Detective, The Detective Who Works Quick, [Prn] Who Will Catch The Culprit, [Prn] Who Vows To Catch The Culprit, The Detective Who Wraps Up Loose Ends
Labels
Detectivegender, Noirfilmic, Detectivic, Deceptective, Detectiveprince, Detectilasleepic, Detectivix, Columbogender, Sleuthlexic, Nonniumgender, Thiex, Detectimysteric, Magnificoric, Detective Transmasc, Detective Femme, Detective Butch, Detective Aroace, Conanic, Happydetectic, Notecramic / Detectivey, Detectlita
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*any titles with detective can be replaced with Investigator, Sleuth, Private, etc!
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saintseiya-thoughts · 6 months
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Bronze Saints positions if they were in a kpop group or something this came to me in a fever dream (reminder for non kpop stans, position go main > lead > sub)
Visual is like, the pretty one, and maknae is the youngest, it's not exactly a position I like Seiya being the youngest ‼️
Also I tried to go with the vibe, tbf I have no idea what I'm doing except having fun...I don't even know if it's an actual AU or anything. I say kpop but idol group is probably more accurate idk ??? Do other idols group have positions like this ?? There's this french group with big inspirations from kpop but isn't actually a kpop group who has positions like this so idk I guess it's something like this !!! 😭 this is just a silly post...
Seiya - Main vocalist, sub rapper, maknae
Shiryu - Main dancer, lead rapper, leader because let my have my leader Shiryu dreams
Hyôga - Lead dancer, lead rapper, maybe sub vocalist ?? Idk, but he gives an all rounder vibe kinda
Shun - Visual, lead vocalist, sub dancer
(Ikki would be a manager sorry, no way you'll see him dance and sing on scene he's not giving idol AT ALL)
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ame-chan-unoffical · 2 months
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i wanna like use a wooden spear to rip my veins out of my arms like its noodles out an instant noodles cup
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jayzzu · 1 year
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tbhfication of puss. thats all
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what do you mean my disabilities disable me 😟😟😟😟😟😟 what do you mean they aren't just funny little things that make me quirky and I can joke about 😟😟😟😟😟😟 what do you mean they're actually delibitating and prevent me from doing things 😟😟😟😟😟😟😟
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nayruwu · 1 year
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being an ons fan that doesn't care about mikayuu is so sad. i feel like a neglected child
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soullessjack · 2 months
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having favorite characters from media with vastly different ideas on morality or like anything ever is so much fun. here’s blorbo bingus who actively kills everyone he doesn’t like and here’s grongo buppy who believes in the magic of friendship and forgiveness and they’re best friends to me
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silawastaken · 5 months
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im so tired 'hesisitatting' yeah okay buddy time for bed
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purplemninja · 6 months
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how do you feel about the autistic six headcannon?
Yay! My first ask! Thank you for sending me a question!
As for your question:
I'm not too sure how to feel about the headcanon of Six being autistic, and I don't believe that she's autistic, but a part of me feels like the autistic Six headcanon is a tad bit overused.
Everyone is entitled to their own headcanons, I just find this one being used a bit too often. I remember seeing a post about how Six may have some aversion to sound (which ties into her being autistic) and they used the scene from the 2017 comics when the Ferryman and Guests point at Six and she clutches her pain and grits her teeth. They say that there's a lot of sound going on in that scene, which is why Six curls down in distress, but I disagree because there aren't any visual clues that there's a lot of noise, like comics would draw lines to visually show loud sound, but there isn't any.
And speaking of that scene, from my old post called "Six suffers from 2 types of trauma, not just 1" (where most of what I said in it honestly still holds up 2 years later) I personally believe that one of Six's biggest fears is being kidnapped. I counted that throughout the entire LN series, Six got kidnapped a total of at least 5 times (6 if the 2017 comics are canon. I even made a meme about it some time ago).
First being when she got taken to the Nest (given that she hides in places where the inhabitants of the house wouldn't be able to find her or get, and she wanted to escape, I'm pretty sure she wasn't there at will).
Second time was by the Hunter, third was by the Bullies, fourth time by Thin Man, fifth time by the Ferryman (if the 2017 comics are canon) and sixth time by Roger (if the 2017 comics are not canon, then it's the fifth time instead. I initially didn't count that instance as a kidnapping, but when @haemosexuality counted it as Six being kidnapped, I counted it too).
I'm sure you've heard of the belief that Six suffers from Survivor's Guilt and PTSD, I firmly believe it too, especially when Six shows practically all of the textbook symptoms. I'm not sure if Six does have amnesia or not, but given that she was kidnapped 4 times by the time she encounters the Ferryman, I believe that she clutches her head, grits her teeth and curls down because she can already see that she's about to be kidnapped again, something that she's already heavily traumatised from.
I don't think that that scene has anything to do with sound. In LN1, when you have to push a cart over a pipe that has steam leaking out if it, if you get Six close enough to the steam (but not close enough for it to kill her), she'll cover her ears, same with when Mono walks on the keys of the piano after he and Six stomp it through the floor. But I don't think this is specifically because of autism, I'm pretty sure it's simply because of loud or awful sounds. Like if someone plays an instrument and they play it terribly, you'd want to stop listening to it, and I don't think anyone really likes listening to loud noise like steam leaking out of a pipe.
I had an aversion to loud sounds when I was a kid, such as fireworks, dogs barking and balloons popping. I got used to fireworks when I was around 9 years old (bit ironic since Six is 9), I don't know when I got over the loudness of dog barks, but it was somewhere in my teens (and our dog, who was a greyhound, definitely helped (greyhounds very rarely bark)), I can handle balloons popping better now, but I still prefer to avoid balloons. I'm not autistic, and not liking loud or certain sounds isn't an autism-exclusive trait.
I don't understand fully how autism works, I just know about getting upset over certain sounds, patterns or norms being changed suddenly, and difficulties with certain social interactions, but I don't think you need to be autistic to have some these traits. And I don't think Six really has any of these traits either.
TL;DR: I don't think Six has autism but people are free to headcanon her as being autistic, I just think it, and the headcanon of her being neurodivergent (not sure if it's the same thing or not), are a bit overused :/ (please don't kill me).
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