#at this time last year i was on the bathroom floor crying and sick from drink wailing and wishing i was dead

[eldritchsmokeshow]

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#im over sharing on the Internet again! #but its actually positive this time lol #this is my first thanksgiving sober #i still hate the holiday lol but now im coping with it in a healthier way #id been an alcoholic for the better part of four years #last January was my breaking point and i got help #at this time last year i was on the bathroom floor crying and sick from drink wailing and wishing i was dead #and now ..well im not doing that lol #this is a heavy trigger month for me so we are just...doing our best to be kind and manage #it does feel good not being that....out of control #even if my mood isnt the best this is still better than being out of control

[propertyofwicked]

sambuca - LN

warnings: swearing, alcohol and mentions of being sick.

short fluff :) fewtrell!reader

this can be read as a stand alone or as a prequel to the secrets series!

the moment her friend ordered a round of black sambuca, she knew her night was going to turn in a horrible direction, but she was too drunk to care, necking the shot back and coughing as the liquid travelled down her throat. in her few years of adulthood, she’d yet to have a night end well after the shots got ordered.

as last orders were called, y/n started to panic. it was too late to call her brother to pick her up and she was far too drunk to walk home, but almost by instinct, she scrolled through her contacts, landing on her brothers best friend. in her drunken state, she didn’t seem to realise it was 2am and that he might be asleep - he always helped her, so why wouldn’t he now, she thought to herself.

her phone rang twice before he picked up.

“y/n?” lando grumbled, clearly haven just been woken up, “is everything ok?”

she replied, but it was completely incoherent, her words slurring into a mashup of her sentence.

“y/n? who are you with? is caitlin there?” he asked, and she nodded before realising he couldn’t see her and gave him a quick mhm.

“can you pass the phone to her please, angel?” he said, and the phone was being passed to the girls best friend, who was surprisingly still standing, and most importantly to lando, speaking sense.

“hiiii lando,” she said, slurring but still coherent, “is everything ok?”

“that’s what i want to ask you,” he laughed, “are you guys leaving now? do you need a lift home?”

“i don’t,” she said, hiccupping, “but i think your girl might need somewhere to crash for the night.”

“text me the pub you’re at, ill be there in 10 minutes.”

“ok - you might wanna bring a bucket.”

“i might not bring the mclaren then,” he laughed again, before hanging up, throwing a hoodie on and grabbing his car keys. he reached the door, before doubling back to the kitchen, picking up a plastic bag and a bottle of water. this was not his first rodeo, and he didn’t feel like having a repeat of the time she vomited in max’s car and his shoes.

when he pulled up outside the pub, it didn’t take him long to see y/n, crouched to the floor, back leaning against the wall of the pub, her poor friend stood next to her, reaching down slightly to stroke her hair. lando moved out of the car, walking round to where the girl was sat, quickly realising her eyes were streaming tears. crouching down to her level, his hand came to rest on her shoulder.

“hey angel, what’s up? why are we crying?”

why was she crying? because she thought about how pretty and kind lando was and it made drunk little brain sad to think that he would never want her was the real answer, instead she settled for

“i don’t know,” she sad sadly, looking up at him and smiling slightly when their eyes met, “you won’t tell max about this, will you?”

“of course not,” he replied, although not sure what he was agreeing to hide from max. as he raised himself up to stand, he grabbed her arms to pull her up with him, although her balanced failed and she toppled into his chest - his arms came to rest on her waist to stabilise her.

“sorry,” she mumbled, looking up at him again, she was so close he could smell the alcohol on her breath.

“it’s ok y/n,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down her back, before glancing to the girl besides her, “who gave her sambuca?”

“not me,” she defends herself, holding up her hands.

“fucks sake.”

“in my defence, by the time i tried to stop her, she’d already drank it.”

“it’s alright, this is going to be rough. worse for her though,” he responds, moving to turn y/n around in his arms and march her in the direction of his car, “you still fine to get home?”

“don’t worry about me, please just get her into a bed. or a sofa. or a bathroom.” and with that he helped y/n into the passenger seat, reaching across her to buckle her in.

“you smell nice,” she slurred into his ear as he moved back. he chose to ignore the comment, feeling his heart skip a beat, shut the door and jog back round to the drivers side.

“see you later, caitlin. message y/n when you get home safe please,” he adds, waving to the girl before climbing in the car himself.

“what are we gonna do with you?” he asks to no one, glancing to the girl hunched over in his passenger seat, pulling off slowly.

“hi,” she perks up after 5 minutes of silence, looking to the side to smile at him. his side profile is so pretty, she thinks to herself, before shaking any thoughts like that out her brain.

“hi yourself,” he responds, flicking the indicator on, “how you feeling?”

“im good.”

“you sure? i don’t need to pull over do i?”

“not yet. just, just keep driving slow. please,” she begs slightly.

“it’s ok we’re nearly there.”

“where is there?”

“my flat.”

“not max’s?”

“i don’t think you want max seeing you in this state. i don’t think max’s shoes want to see you in this state either,” he joked.

“HEY! that was one time. and i bought him new shoes after.”

“no you didn’t.”

“ok. you bought him new shoes, but i gave them to him,” she argues back, lando simply snorts in response.

“we’re here angel,” he says, coming to a slow stop. angel, she thought, i like when he calls me that.

she grabs the door handle, flinging the door open, and moves to stand up before bashing her head on the roof of the low car.

“fuck,” she exclaimed, “that was a bit silly of me, wasn’t it.”

“yes, it was,” lando replied bluntly, moving to take one of her hands in his, the other resting on the top of his car to provide a soft bumper if she hit her head again.

“are you mad at me?” she asks sadly, after seeing his jaw clench and unclench on the way to his flat.

“not at you, angel, never at you. im mad at whoever gave you sambuca.”

“i gave it to me,” she says, giggling. he simply shakes his head at her.

the moment the front door shuts, she’s sprinting to his bathroom, the mixture of drinks finally resurfacing in the back of her throat. lando follows quickly behind her, just in time to bend behind her and scoop her hair up out of her face, his spare hand moving to stroke her back softly.

“that’s it, get it all up,” he coos softly, “thank you for not doing this in my car,” although he doubts she can hear his remark.

“gonna sleep in my bed tonight, angel? is that ok? wanna keep an eye on you,” he asks her as she finally sits, resting her back on his stomach. she looks up at him, nodding slightly, eyes blinking heavily in exhaustion.

“need to take my make up off,” she says, still slurring but less than before. he nods before moving to his bathroom cabinet, pulling out a cleanser and wipes.

“why do you have those?”

“they’re yours, y/n. from the last time you and max stayed over after a night out.” she says nothing in response, simply leaning back into him again as he moves his arm around her to wipe away the makeup on her face. his actions are not to soft, but not too rough - again, this is not his first rodeo with a drunk y/n fewtrell. once he’s done, he shuffles out to his bedroom, leaving y/n on the bathroom floor, to wallow in self pity, she thought to herself. when he returns he throws a shirt at her, and a pair of his boxers for her to change in to.

“ill be in my room, come find me when you’re changed,” he says, turning on his heel to leave her in privacy. she stands to change, catching a glance at herself in the mirror.

jesus, i look so rough. i cannot sleep in that mans bed. this is bad. this is very bad.

but alas, y/n found herself climbing into lando’s bed mere minutes later, choosing comfort over the protection of her feelings.

“come ‘ere,” he says to her, pulling her gently towards him, her head coming to rest on his chest as his arms wrap around her, “why did you get so drunk y/n?”

“m’celebrating.”

“celebrating what?”

“life,” she says, she would’ve thought of a better reason had her heart not been beating a thousand times a minute.

“get some sleep. there’s some water on your side if you need it. your phones on charge next to it.”

“thank you, lan. for this, for picking me up, for dealing with my shit.”

“don’t mention it, angel. now, rest. ill deal with you in the morning.” now she may have been drunk, but she could feel lando’s lips pressing gently to the top of her head.

“turn it off,” she groans, light flooding behind her eye lids, lando chuckles.

“turn what off? the sun? sorry let me just tap into my divine powers and sort that out for you, your majesty.”

“shut up.”

“you started it.”

she groaned again, opening her eyes fully. quickly she realised she was laying on her side, her back pressed into lando’s back, his arms still tightly around her. her arm reaches out to grab her phone and check her messages.

“caitlin told me to tell you she’s home safe, she also said good luck - why is she wishing you luck?”

“probably due to the state you were in last night,” he laughs again.

“oh my god, im so sorry.”

“don’t be, it was funny.”

“funny? it was mortifying. my head hurts so bad.”

“have some water, there’s some paracetamol there for you as well.”

“no not like a headache. like my head actually hurts,” she adds, moving her arm to rub the stop on her head that ached.

“oh! that’ll be from when you smacked your head on the roof of my car,” he replies, moving his own hand up to her head to inspect the damage.

“no that’s so embarrassing i didn’t do that,” she denies, a red flush rising on her cheeks.

“i can ask security for the camera footage in the car park if you want.”

“shut up,” she said bluntly, as he bit the urge to respond with make me. he found himself quickly reminded of his promise last night. don’t tell max. the position he found himself in now was a sobering realisation as to how max really couldn’t know about this.

“you want a lift to max’s?” he asks suddenly.

“erm, no. could you take me to caitlin’s instead? all good if not, i can get an uber.”

“nah that’s fine, when do you wanna go?”

they moved swiftly on from max, both silently agreeing that any sign of y/n in lando’s clothes, hungover and crawling out of his car was a bad idea. a very bad idea.

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando smut #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #formula 1 #mclaren f1 #mclaren #lando norris fluff #propertyofwicked #maxfewtrell #fewtrell!sister

[deceitfuldevout]

First and Last

Dark!Tom (The Party 2017) x ExWife!Reader

Word Count: +3,234

Warning(s): +18, Non con, ANGST, Domestic violence, Mentions of overdose/overdosing, Drug usage, Addiction, Forced drug usage, Heavy domestic violence, Forced breeding Accidental OD, Really long because I don't have a life.

Author's note(s): I wanted to post this before my trip. Idk if I want to make this into a 2 part series maybe if its good than ye 😃

You run into your soon-to-be ex-husband at a friend's party. He's determined to get a second chance. But some things never change. 

You met Tom in college. Both of you were part of the same friend group and would see each other often. He was persistent in pursuing you. Eventually mustering up the courage to ask you out. You said yes because you fell for him first. But it was Tom who fell harder. He was your first love, first kiss, first everything. After a year of dating, he finally pops the question. Everything seemed to be going fine at first. 

That was almost a decade ago. He's not the same man you fell in love with. Something inside him changed. There were times where you were unsure whether it was the drugs talking or how he truly felt. He would try to hide it but failed miserably. You can't remember how many times you've found his stash, which always resulted in an argument. You were sick of his excuses. It eventually got worse with his intake. He would arrive home half sober. You were sick of seeing him waste away like this. You remember finally deciding that enough was enough. 

After catching him at home for the fifth time, you decide to take action into your own hands. In a fit of anger, you retrieve his hidden stash and flush it down the toilet. When Tom found out his reaction wasn't what you had predicted. Not at all. He dragged you to the bathroom and demanded to know where his supply went. It was the first time he'd ever laid his hands on you. Instead of apologizing for bringing them home, Tom held you in a chokehold until you told him where they were.  

Never in your life would you imagine Tom of all people reacting in such a way. When you finally confess what had happened, he loses his temper. It terrified you how strong he became while under the influence. You were no match for his drug-fueled rage. Your wrist is still sore from how he held you down last week. There were bruises that were still healing for all the times before. But this one had been the worst punishment yet. He left you there on the bathroom floor, naked and sore. Tom hadn't bothered to look your way. He zips up his pants before leaving in search of his next 'fix'.  

That wasn't the first time he put his hands on you, but it was the first time you had left him. You received a string of desperate phone calls, voicemails, text messages all from Tom. You returned home to find him on his knees with a bouquet in hand and tears in his eyes. He apologized and promised to be a better man for you. That was shortly lived. When you arrived home from a late shift, you caught Tom using it again. This time it was different, you found Tom overdosing. You lunged towards him, "Tom?! Tom!" cradling his head in your hands, holding him close. It was the first time you've caught him. A part of you feared this wouldn't be the last.  

Tom had tried to make it up with sex, but you couldn't be around him anymore. You felt almost revolted how he didn't care. Having him around only reminds you of the pain. This time instead of throwing a fit, yelling, or crying. You simply packed all your things and left. What could you do with a man who refuses to change? Leave. You left for your mother's place, finally accepting that it wasn't your fault. 

The divorce papers were mailed to him. For a while now, Tom knew there was something wrong with him. He was just too stubborn to admit it. You'd spoken with a lawyer and there was a court date issued. In a few months from now, you will no longer be referred to as husband and wife.  

For the first time in years, you've finally let the feeling of guilt go. No longer were you going to let this define who you were. You weren't a failure as a wife. Because it was never your fault in the first place. Soon enough you were doing the things you loved again, even began to pick up a few new hobbies. That spark of joy began to return. You started dressing up in nicer clothes, going out, actually spending quality time with friends and family.  

Sometimes there would be a moment when you'd feel for Tom and wonder what he'd be up to. But then again did you really want to know? It would usually be the same thing, him being higher than a kite. Still, you couldn't help but mourn at the loss of your marriage. When you were young and promised to love each other until your very last breath. You still loved Tom, but he loved other things more. 

You were looking forward to your old college friend's New Year's party. A healthy dosage of socializing to get you out there again. You had the opportunity to catch up with everyone there. It felt as though no time had passed. You danced around, joined in some games, things were going well. But there was a lingering feeling that someone, somewhere was staring at you.  

That's when you spot him, Tom, sitting quietly at the end of the room. Your breath hitches at the sight of him twiddling his thumbs. There's a part of you that regrets not filing a restraining order. Tom always had a habit of showing up unannounced. You weren't in the mood for whatever he had to say. So, you left his sight, down the hall, to the nearest restroom. 

You sat on the counter, removing your heels for a moment. A groan escapes your lips as you rub both feet, knowing very well they would ache in the morning. Shit, you were really gonna feel that. You splash your face a few times, hoping that it would combat the summer heat. Completely unaware of the sound of the door opening. It was as if you knew who was behind you, turning around to find Tom leaning against the door. You gave him a glare, "Get out," you were in no mood for his emotional ambush. He ignores your request and calmly states, "I just want to talk to my wife," 

"We're not--" 

"Legally, yes, we are," he corrects. Always so condescending. It was one of the things you couldn't stand. How he would belittle your intelligence. It was the little remarks he'd make to shut down any effort you gave. He made you feel unwanted. He was the one who decided to push you away first.  

If only he could see past his own selfishness that you truly wanted to save this marriage. But in order to do so, he would need to admit that it was an ongoing problem. You didn't have to worry about a mistress, no. You had to worry everyday about finding him dead. You've caught him overdosing a few times. It eventually took a toll on you. To the point where you lost weight from the stress. Tom rakes his hand through his locks, "Of course you don't want to see me, nothing ever satisfies you," a snarky remark to try and get under your nerves.  

With the amount of alcohol in your system, it worked, "Are you kidding me?" you scoff, "Don't you dare lie to me Thomas, I tried everything, everything to fix us, can you say the same?" you growl in his face. Maybe it was the liquid courage that gave you a whole new attitude. Whatever it is helped with confronting him. His reaction, however, was not what you expected.

He smothers you into a deep kiss, pulling you into his embrace. You try shoving at him in an attempt to catch breath. Finally breaking free from his grip. For a moment, he's seems visibly hurt. You scold, "What you wrong with you?!" it wasn't fair. After all the hurt you've been through, Tom still tries to insert himself into your life.  

You deserved better. You try to shove him away. Instead, he shoves you against the wall, "Can't you see..." he presses his sweaty cheek against the crook of your neck, "You're my everything..." his voice sounding more desperate with each word. You scoff, "No, Tom, you can't do this..." tears began to brim, threatening to spill. His eyes are filled with worry, "No...now, baby please don't cry..." his expression is saddened but there are no tears. He kisses each cheek, ignoring your sniffling. Tom held you in place by the shoulders, "I couldn't stop thinking about you," it's true. You were his first love.  

Tom had longed to see his wife again. To feel her, touch her, caress and worship every part of her. He wanted to make things right, truly. But she just got up and left him. Like he was trash. What made her so high and mighty? He's so sick of seeing you always playing the role of a saint. For once he wants to see you get downright nasty with him. His breathing became frantic, "Can't you see? I'm addicted to you," there's a mischievous look on his face that you were more than familiar with.  

You place a cautious hand in front to create distance, "Tom, listen to me, you’re high right now, you're not in the right--" you were muffled by his hand, "No! No! Listen to me!" his voice booms. His sudden mood swing scares you. So much so that your nails dig into his wrist. He hisses in pain, "Stop it! Just stop!" he grits his teeth. When he releases his grip the first thing you do is make a run for it. But before you could even set foot out of the restroom you're pulled back by the hair. You fell on your back, hitting the marble floor.  

It sends the air out of your lungs. That's when you start crying, shriveling up into a ball, begging for him to stop. This was how your arguments always ended. Tom crouches down, "Oh...baby I'm so sorry..." He grabs a towel, pushing it against the bottom of the door to ensure that it's soundproofed. He then pulls you into a hug, locking his arms around your waist. Tom rocks you in his embrace, "Please...please don't cry shh.." He doesn't want to see anymore tears spill. He's thankful for the music being loud enough to muffle your cries. He lifted you onto the counter.  

You look down at the floor, refusing to look him in the eyes. Tom presses his forehead against yours. His eyelids flutter shut, "Let me make this right..." he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small bag, "Here... this'll help with the nerves," he swipes his fingers on his tongue before dipping it in. He swirls it a few times, coating the digits with the white powder.

When he brings it to your mouth you turn away with disgust, smacking his hand off, "Get it the fuck away from me! You fucking tweaker!" you claw at him. He's hurt by your words. How could you? He really is trying to stop. It's harder than it looks. He's tried just about anything you could name to fix his marriage. Nothing, not a damn thing worked. Every time he'd come running back to that same euphoric feeling. When you left, he started using it again, more than ever.  

If only he could get you to try it out, then maybe, you'd understand. He presses you against the counter, using his bodyweight to hold you in place. You sob, "Please...please Tommy...don't do this..." he grips both of your wrists, ignoring your pleas. He looks at you with a maddening look in his eyes. You knew he was out of it. There was always that nothingness behind his irises. To think that this man was once your devoted husband.  

He muffles your cries with a clean hand. He has an idea for the other. Tom hisses, “M’gonna make you take it, make you feel really good...” he reaches in between your legs, pushing aside the lace. Tom brings the snow coated fingers to your folds. He bites his bottom lip, concentrating on finding your opening. He slowly starts to insert them, ignoring your cries and pleas for him to stop. Tom starts pumping his coated fingers in and out of your channel.

You let out a muffled scream under his palm. Stray tears falling down and landed on his wrist. He felt almost bad, but you'll understand soon enough where he's coming from. Just wait and see. You'll love it as much as he does. Fuck, every vein in his body felt like it was on fire. It's easier getting hard while using, too easy. His dick almost hurts form how hard it was. He spat a wad on the tip, coating it with a bit of snow before hovering it over your folds. He presses it against your opening.

A wide grin spreads on his face, "Sh...please...don't flinch sweetheart I just wanted to feel... can I feel my own wife's pussy?" He moans. A mewl escapes your lips. Tom chuckles, he knew you'd love it as much as he does. His hands grip your neck, he doesn't know how strong he's squeezing, not while he's using. It felt nice feeling you clench on his length. He’s on an adrenaline high right now. He’s not going to stop anytime soon.

He rapidly thrusts his hips in and out your channel, indulging in the feeling. Two of his most favorite things combined. Oh, how he’s missed you. Tom picks up his pace. He leans down to plant wet, sloppy kisses across your bare neck. He retreats his lips, groaning against your ear, “I promise you I'll make up for everything, I'll even give you a baby like you've always wanted...” He knows it’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to be. A mother.  

Your eyes shoot wide open as you scream into his palm to stop. Tom pops a pill in his mouth. He swishes it around a few times before forcing your mouth to open. He removes his palm only for a moment, before shoving it inside. It's too much, too much...You felt like you were flying, no, falling? Your heart couldn't stop beating and every single last one of your limbs felt like jelly. A visible vein bulges on the corner of your temple. Only a faint gargle leaves your lips, "F-fuck...T-tom...please..” sniffling for him to stop.

He coos, “M'gonna give you a baby, ok? then we'll be a happy family..." He sighs in admiration. Fuck, you looked so beautiful. Always so compliant. Don’t worry, he’s going to make sure you’ll never get rid of him, “This was mine the day I put that ring on that finger..." He finishes with a roar, coating your insides with his spunk. Tom is almost satisfied, almost. He doesn’t want to waste a single drop. He carefully removes his cock from your channel, plugging you back up with his fingers.  

Tom takes the small baggie. He coats it with your arousal. A deep moan escapes his lips, "Just hide it for me, yeah, can you do that love?" Two of his fingers are buried deep into your channel, he scissors them apart a few times, testing the waters. Then he starts to push it in. You were too buzzed to even fight him off.

His fingers have always caressed that spot you just couldn't quite reach. Tom sighs, “Beautiful...fucking beautiful...” words that he hasn't used in years. Tom throws his coat on the floor. He carefully places you on it, taking no note of the blank expression on your face. He hadn’t noticed your eyes rolling back. He pressed his head against the door to hear if anyone was lurking. If the coast was clear, he could leave.

He places a chaste kiss on your cheek before leaving, placing a tie on the doorknob to ensure no one would wander inside. Tom prepares his car for the both of you. If you were thinking of escaping him, think again. He would keep you hidden until you were surely pregnant. You’ll have a part of him with you forever. He returns to the house with a pep in his step, opening the door to find you still lying on the ground.

That’s when Tom finally notices the faint frothing on the corners of your mouth. He crouches down, “No...” he should’ve seen this coming. You weren’t used to any kind of drug. You’ve never smoked a day in your life. Tom pulls you into his arms, “No no no no...no please...” he shook your unconscious form, “Please! Stay with me!” he shook harder, “Please! Fuck!” Finally breaking down. Tom couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life without you. For it to actually come true was his biggest nightmare, “Please! Don’t leave me!” He rocks both of you back and forth.

Tom tries his best to control his breathing, reaching into his pocket. He calls the one person he knows would help, "Lenn...I'm in deep shit," he chokes. Tom prays that his brother can make it on time. For years now, Lenny had been the one covering up for his little brother. He could hear Tom on the other end of the phone, “She--she’s not waking up...” That’s when Lenny races out his office in search of his twin, "Tom, listen to me, where are you?"

Whatever shit his little brother has gotten into this time, he better hope it doesn’t ruin his record. Lenny hadn't spent years in law enforcement just to lose it all in one day. If word got out that the local detective’s own brother was a tweaker, he’d have to kiss that promotion goodbye. However, Lenny isn’t going to let him get away so easily. Unlike Tom, his brother is colder, more calculated than emotional. He's always surpassed him in every way possible. Well, almost. Lenny hates to admit it, but Tom had the one thing he finally beat him at, you.  

You were the color added to his life. Without you his world was just...black and white.

#tom the party #Tom (the party 2017) #tom the party 2017 #Tom the Party movie #the party 2017 #Tom (the party) x reader #reader #reader insert #dark!fanfic #dark!fic #dark fanfiction #dark fanfic #fem!reader #dark!fanfiction #dark fic #my work #my works

[watermelonlovershigh]

another sickfic/period prompt.. living together as friends/housemates and H finds her on the floor in the night feeling really sick from her period and sits with her + helps her out 🥲 changes her sheets for her, rubs her back and just holds her on the floor with a blanket round them. she's absolutely mortified with no choice but to be accepting of his help and all he wants to do is make her feel a little better :(

Period Cramps Are No Fun {part 1.} (housemate!harry series)

AN: thank you for this request. it's not exactly as the request said but i hope it's close enough. and i normally don't write harry as anything other than y/n's lover but made an exception with this story. please share your feedback with me and let me know how you liked it. enjoy. xoxoxoxo

This story contains: small period leak, severe period cramping, puking due to period cramps, crying due to pain and embarrassment, mentions of sex toys, comfort, fluff

{ housemate!harry - friend!harry - softrry - any harry era - au!harry }

word count- 1,956

You wake up in the middle of the night with severe period cramps and when your housemate and friend Harry happens to wake up for a glass of water, he sees you on the bathroom floor crying and has no choice but to be by your side and comfort you.

You were looking to be someones flatmate or housemate. You'd put offer after offer online and one day a guy named Harry accepted your offer. He had a pretty nice townhouse in London and from his brief description of himself, seemed to be an alright guy. You didn't want to move in with some lazy scumbag and you'd come to find Harry is the opposite of that.

He's probably the cleanest guy you've ever met. He enjoys keeping things organized and loves to keep the house smelling fresh with candles on every shelf and table. And you get along quite nicely. You'd even go as far to say over the six months of living in his townhouse that you've become friends.

Doing things friends do such as order take-out food together, watch movies on the couch, paint each others nails, share juicy details about your love lives (or lack thereof). Harry is a very fun guy to be around and if you're being honest with yourself, you'd say you've developed a slight crush on him. I mean how could you not? He has nearly all the characteristics of what every woman's ideal man would have. Physical characteristics and things through the actions he does.

Now even though you've became great friends over the six months of living here, there is still stuff you try to keep private. For instance, your periods. Harry's not dumb and obviously knows you get a period. Mainly from seeing your sanitary products under the bathroom sink or in the bin by the toilet. You don't try to keep your periods a secret, just private.

And though Harry knows you get periods, as do most females, he has yet to see the bad side of your periods. The periods that make you sob on the bathroom floor from the amount of pain your cramps are causing. The periods that make you nausous and throw up. Luckily those periods aren't a monthly thing but they do happen a few times a year for whatever reason and it sucks.

--------------------------

Late last night as you and Harry were watching a movie on his sofa, you began to feel crampy in your lower stomach. You asked if he could pause the film while you went to the bathroom down the hall and he agreed. And that's when you realized your period had came and you'd leaked. It's not a bad leak but it's enough for you to need to change your underwear and your shorts. Which the shorts barely had any blood on them but still called for a fresh pair.

Once you got yourself situated, you returned to the living room where the first thing Harry commented on is your changed clothes. "Did you change your shorts or somethin'?"

Quickly, you answered, "Yeah, my period started and I kinda leaked. Okay, you can press play on the movie."

Harry nodded sympathetically but followed your orders. He would have said something else to try and comfort you but knew you prefered to keep your periods more private. He doesn't understand why though. All women get periods. It's not something you should be ashamed of and he wished you'd understand that.

Now it's four in the morning and you're woken up to what feels like the worst period cramps of your whole life. Fuck, you scream in your head, it's gonna be one of those months. The longer you lay in bed the more nausous you began to feel from how painful your cramps are and that leads to you stumbling out of bed and rushing to the bathroom down the hall.

After what felt like an eternity, you made it to the bathroom and literally crawled on the floor over to the toilet. Now that you're in the bathroom you feel less nauseous but the pain is still in full force. That's when the tears start flowing. With your back against the wall and your knees up to your chest, sobs roll out your body as you fight against the waves of your uterus contracting to release its lining.

Harry is a heavy sleeper and usually don't wake up unless someone outwardly calls his name or pushes him awake. What wakes him up right now though is a dry mouth and a craving for a glass of water. So he gets out of bed and heads to the kitchen. But before he can even make it to the kitchen, he hears what sounds like crying coming from the hall bathroom.

Rushing over to the bathroom door, the sight before him breaks his heart. You didn't have the strength to shut the door so from the hall, Harry sees you sobbing in front of the toilet, back against the wall, and a hand clutching your stomach. "Oh, Y/n," he steps inside, "what's the matter?"

You slowly lift your head and the first thought in your mind was you didn't want him to see you like this. This was too embarrassing and you were too vulnerable at the moment. "Harry, go. Don't look at me."

Taken back by your words, Harry retorts in concern, "Not until you tell me what's wrong. Are you sick? Why're cryin'?"

Realising it's no use to deny your housemates help in your condition, you answer through the pain and tears, "My.....my cramps are SO bad. It hurts so much, H...Harry. *sob* It's making me feel so sick."

Harry frowns sympathetically and kneels down beside you in just his boxer briefs, which is his usual sleep attire. He would have covered up a bit more if he'd known this is what he was going to be walking into on his trip for a glass of water. As soon as he kneels down, you get the real urge to puke.

You push yourself off the wall and hang your head over the toilet. A harsh dry heave leaves your mouth that makes him cringe but nothing more, yet. Harry quickly scoots behind you and collects your hair with one hand and runs his other hand over your back. He doesn't know if you want to be touched right now but knows that when he's getting sick he finds that if someone rubs on his back it makes him feel a little better.

"Shhh," Harry whispers gently, "it's okay. You're okay. I've got you." He patiently waits until your feel better or actually get sick. After a few more jarring dry heaves, you end up throwing up in the toilet. And though the act feels like hell and is gross, you hope it will also relive the sickness your belly feels due to your period cramps.

You slowly lift your head up, taking deep breaths, and start crying again. This time not from the pain but from embarrassment. Harry's quick to ask, "Hey, what is it, Y/n? The cramps again?"

A little more coherently then the last time you spoke, you answer, "No. Just embarrassed. I threw up in front of you." That has Harry throwing his head back with a laugh.

"Y/n, I don't give a single fuck about you throwing up in front of me. Everyone gets sick from time to time. Just want to make sure you're alright. I hate that your period cramps are causin' you so much pain."

While subconsciously rubbing circles in your lower tummy, you ask desperately in a near whispered voice, "H, can you please go get me some pain medicine. It's in my bedside table drawer in my bedroom. Once I have that I think I'll feel better. At least for a couple of hours."

"Of course." Harry agrees and gets up off the bathroom floor to head to your bedroom. Once inside, he walks straight to your bedside table and opens the drawer to find your bottle of pain medication. While rummaging through to find the bottle, Harry tries to ignore the assortment of sex toys you have in there; bullet vibrator, dildo, clit sucker. Shit, this is the wrong time for him to get all hot and flustered at the thought of you using those under his roof.

He finally finds the bottle of pills and heads back to the bathroom where you still are. Within the time it took him to grab your medicine, you've stood up off the floor, flushed the toilet of course, and now sit on a closed toilet seat. Harry opens the bottle and asks, "How many? One or Two or....?"

"Two please." Harry hands you two tablets and grabs a paper cup used for rinsing your mouths out by the sink and fills it up with tap water. You carefully grab the small cup from his hands and take the pills with urgency, just wanting to be out of pain as soon as possible.

Once that's over with, Harry annonces, "Well, I'll let you get cleaned up in here and I'll be out there waiting for you."

"Okay, thank you." you respond gratefully. Harry really is the best housemate you could have asked for. While he's gone, you change out your tampon and brush the taste of vomit from your mouth. Then you exit the hall bathroom, ready to try and get a few more hours of sleep.

As you step inside your bedroom, you're taken back. Harry has managed to change your sheets and duvet, claiming a fresh pair will help you relax and hopefully sleep better. He's also set an actual glass of water on your nightstand, as well as plugged in his heating pad for you to use. "Harry....... what's all this?"

Nervously, because he doesn't know if this is all too much to do to someone who is just his housemate and friend, Harry replies, "Um, just wanted to make sure you come back to a comfy room. Hopefully you'll get a few more hours of sleep. And if you get thirsty or need to take more medicine, there's a glass of water there. Then my old heating pad that you can use across your tummy to also help with your cramps. Hope it's not too much."

You turn around with a small smile on your face and reach out to hug him. He's startled at first but soon relaxes and hugs you back. You hug for a minute before you break away first and mutter your appreciation. "No, this is great, Harry. Not too much at all. Thank you for your kindness tonight. And thank you for putting up with me in the bathroom. I know that wasn't a pretty sight. So yeah, just, thank you so much."

Looking down at you, Harry gets the urge to kiss you, but instead, says, "Y/n, it's no big deal, really. I would have helped anyone in that situation. Just want you to feel better s'all. Now get back into bed and around ten I'll wake up and make us a brunch. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds perfect." You crawl back into your bed that now has fresh sheets and maneuver the heating pad over your tummy. The pain medicine has begun to work but your uterus is still quite achy. As Harry turns around and heads out your door, you yell out, "Night." even though it's five in the morning by now.

"Night, Y/n." Harry speaks as well before slipping back into his bed across the hall. Now laying in your separate beds, all you can think about is how much you would have loved if Harry was in your bed cuddling you. And all Harry can think about is how much he wishes you were in his bed, so he could cuddle you. Maybe one day that day will come. But for now, you're just silly housemates that's turned into friends.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe140  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

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My Masterlist Masterpost

Arguments and Confessions {part 2.} (housemate!harry series)

#harry styles #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fic rec #housemate!harry #housematerry #friend!harry #friendrry #soft!harry #softrry #harry styles x reader #harry styles period comfort #period comfort #harry styles sick fic #sick fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #one shot #blurb

[wenigstenshabeichesversucht]

You've made your bed, now lie in it

Pairing: Anthony Lockwood x fem!Reader

Summary: 3 times you and Lockwood have to share a bed, and one time you want to share a bed.

Warnings: one bed trope, fake dating trope, fluff, only kissing, no smut, english is not my native language

Word Count: 3.9k

After a longer break I'm finally back. Enjoy!

The first time you and Lockwood, an insolent prick of a boss, had to share a bed, was comparable to a train wreck. You wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. This was how you felt, when you stared at the way too small bed in front of you. You wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. And even if you could, where did you want to look? At the face of your far too handsome boss, hell no! Or at the floor, which was so dirty, that you were sure, that nobody cleaned it for at least a year? No, not happening.

“I will not sleep on the floor”, you stated without removing your eyes from the bed.

“Me neither!”

Hearing his voice made you seethe.  Maybe he was your boss, but he wasn’t your friend. George and Lucy were your friends, but never him.

“You booked this flop house!”, you protested.

You had a mission two hours away from London, which required you to stay for two days. Luck wasn't on your side when Lucy and George got sick four days ago, leaving only you and Lockwood to drive up here.

“But I’m the boss, so I will not sleep on the floor.”

What would you give for the opportunity to get rid of him right now? But you were too tired to kill him, you just wanted to sleep.

“Fine, then we will share”, you bit out, ready to bite off his head.  

“Fine”, he shouted back, but if you weren't mistaken, his voice sounded a bit hoarse.

Far too late, you realize what you had agreed on. You wanted to curse, but you kept your mouth shut. It was far too late to back down. He would never let you live that down. So, you had no chance. Turning your back on him, you went to your bag and took off your sweater.

“What are you doing”, the panic in his voice brought a smile to your lips.

“Getting ready for bed, what else does it look like?”

Not wanting to give the poor boy a heart attack, you put on a shirt, before unclasping your bra. Behind you, you could hear Lockwood taking a sharp breath. But you couldn’t care less. Never would you put yourself through a painful night in a bra. Opening the button of your jeans was the last straw.

“I’m going to the bathroom”, rushing past you, Lockwood loudly slammed the door shut behind him. You couldn’t help but smile, maybe you had to share a bed, but you totally won this round.

When you left the bathroom, after brushing your teeth, your eyes almost popped out of your head when you saw your boss, who had already made himself comfortable on the bed.

“Where is your shirt?”

Was this his revenge for the bra? Would the entire night be psychological warfare? Not that you weren’t ready. You were ready since you stepped your first foot into Portland Row and realized, that your new boss was a jerk.

“I always sleep like this.”

Your eyes narrowed, not sure if that was a lie or the truth.

“Don’t come crying to me, if you’re too cold this night.” With these words, you slipped into bed next to him.

“I will not be cold”, he protested, and you doubted it. The room was fucking cold, you weren’t even sure if the heater was working. But you were too tired to argue with Lockwood about this, what didn’t mean, that you weren’t ready to tell him “I told you so”, when he would admit it.

“Touch me and I will kill you”, you threatened before turning off the light. Next to you, Lockwood let out a humorless laugh, which shacked the whole bed.

“Trust me, I have the same desire to touch you as I do to touch a ghost.”

“Great, we sorted that out“, you snapped back, unable to let him have the last word.

For a moment there was only silence, broken only by rustling as you both tried to find a comfortable sleeping position. Which was harder than it sounded like. The bed was way too small, and you would rather die than to cuddle with Anthony fucking Lockwood. His body was only inches away from yours, and you could feel the heat he was radiating.

“Stop hogging the blanket”, hissed Lockwood, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Maybe you wouldn’t need it, if you would wear a shirt like a normal person”, you spew back.

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck me yourself, you coward”, you didn’t know what was coming over you. You didn't know what made you say those words, but in the future, you would blame it on being tired.

Lockwood didn't need to be told twice. Hungrily, his lips crashed against yours and with all your anger you kissed him back, while clawing your nails in his naked shoulder. This wasn’t how you had imagined your first kiss with Lockwood. You always thought it would be sweet and slow, not raw and angry.

“I hate you so much”, you whispered against his lips, and Lockwood let out a chuckle.

“Believe me, I hate you more.”

You woke up to the sunbeams dancing on your nose. It was much warmer, than the night before, maybe the heater, had started to work overnight. This thought vanished, when you realized, that the heat was coming from your pillow, or better speaking the body you used as pillow. Suppressing a scream, you hastily tried to get away, only to back up a little too far and therefore to fall out of the small bed. You came up with a hard thud that woke up Lockwood.

“Y/N?”, sleepily Lockwood looked over the edge of the bed, and you suddenly remembered what you had done last night. A blushed creeped up your face, while you thought about the kisses you shared. At least you stopped, before it escalated. You could never forgive yourself and your morals if you had slept with Anthony Lockwood, you hated this arrogant prick.

“Are you in such a hurry to get away from me?”, running his finger through his swoon worthy hair, he gave you one of those arrogant smiles you hated so much. Seeing this, you wanted to wrap your fingers around his neck and just squeeze. But you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of saying that you were throwing yourself at him. So, you just glared up at him.

“Yes, I want to get as far as possible away from you, and I think we'd be doing both of us a favor if we forgot what happened last night and never talked about it again.”

For a moment, Lockwood looked at you with an expression you couldn't quite put your finger on. It wasn't pure hate, at least not just.

“Last night was a mistake.”

Even if it was your idea to forget everything about last night, it hurt to hear him calling it a mistake. However, you would never give him the satisfaction of showing him that.

“At least we agree on one thing.”

The second time you and Lockwood shared a bed was nothing more than a mistake. It was shortly before Christmas, Lucy already left Portland Row to take a train to one of her sisters and George was already by his family. You had the choice between spending Christmas with your family or with Lockwood at Portland Row. It was like choosing between Scylla and Charybdis. But before you could make up your mind, Lockwood felt ill, and you weren’t the heartless bitch, he made you out to be. You didn’t want him to die, even if you often said it. But you needed this job and without Lockwood there wasn’t an agency. Therefore, you decided to stay and care about him, so he didn’t catch a pneumonia and died a painful dead, even if he deserved it.

It was all going as well as you could expect it. Lockwood was too ill to fight with you, and you only wished for his dead once or twice a day, so far less than normal. Everything was going well, till you started to fell sick. Of course, this idiot couldn’t keep his germs to himself.

You were shacking from the cold you couldn’t escape, as you went up to his room, to bring him his dinner. Normally you tried to do this as fast as possible, in and out, before he even had the chance to say anything to you. So, you didn’t have to see him longer than needed, and he didn’t have to see you longer than needed. Nothing had changed since the night you shared a bed and kisses. You still hated each other with burning passion. But this time as you stepped foot into enemy territory, aka Lockwood’s room, you realized that this was right now the warmest room in the whole house. Setting down the tray, you carefully took a seat on the only free space in his room, the edge of his bed. You wouldn’t stay long, you told yourself. Just long enough to drive the cold from your bones.

“You’re looking worse than usual, I didn’t know it was possible”, Lockwood’s annoying voice, broke your peace.

“Says the person who looks like a walking corpse”, you bite back.

“You got sick.”

“No, I’m fine.”

You didn't know who you were trying to convince with this lie. Anyone with eyes in their head could see that you weren't feeling well. However, Lockwood was too exhausted to argue with you. He just started to eat his dinner, while you closed your eyes to find the strength to stand up and leave this warm behind you.

The next time you opened your eyes, you weren’t sitting on the edge of Lockwood’s bed, you were lying in it. You weren’t sure, how it happened, but you were sure it was just an honest mistake, which could happen to everyone. Feeling too sick to panic, all you could just concentrate on was that you were finally warm. You managed to successfully ignore Lockwood's arm over your hip and his steady breathing on your neck. This was a problem you would deal with when you felt not like dying any minute. Closing your eyes for a second time, you drifted away.                 

The first thing you realized, when you woke up the next morning was, that Lockwood’s warm was missing. He had sneaked out of his own bed, while you were still sleeping. So, this was the perfect chance for you to sneak away to not have to face Lockwood after accidentally falling asleep in his bed. But you couldn’t muster the strength to move. You could just lay there and wait for your doom, aka that Lockwood returned.

It didn’t take long for him to come back. In his hands, he held the tray you used the last days to bring him food.

“I brought you breakfast”, giving you the tray, he got in the bed beside you. If someone had told you, that you would spend Christmas eating breakfast with Lockwood in his bed, you would have laughed and called the person delusional. But here you were. Neither of you had the energy to argue, so you both just ate in silence.

“You should try to get more rest”, Lockwood told you, after both of you finished eating, and he was right, not that you would ever say this out loud.

“You too, you still look like shit”, maybe he was a little bit fitter than you, but he was worlds away from being healthy.

“Fine”, he bit back, another sign, that he was everything but healthy. Normally he would have said something mean in response, but he just laid down beside you. For a moment, nobody said something. Then you shuffled a little bit in his direction, attracted by the warmth he radiated. He acknowledged this with raised eyebrows.

“I’m just cold, don't imagine anything about it.”

“I would never!”

The rest of the holidays you spent together in his bed. It was a surprise for both of you, that at the end, when you both felt better, no one had torn off the other’s head.

When Lucy and George came back and asked how your holidays were, you both just shrugged. What really happened was probably a secret that you both would take to your grave. You quickly found back in your everyday life of hating each other, and it was almost as if none of this had ever happened. But only almost.

The third time you had to share a bed with Lockwood would have been avoidable if Lucy had been a little bit more cooperative.

Lockwood and Co. had a new, very lucrative case. You were hired to secure a very dangerous source. The catch was, that the owner was one of those weirdos who was a little too enthusiastic about the occult. He was planning a two-day seance with an overnight stay at his manor, and your client had managed to get you an invitation. The only problem was that the invitation was for one guest and a plus-one. There was no question that Lockwood would go. But your team couldn't agree on who would accompany him. George wasn’t an option, that would bring too much attention. That only left you and Lucy.

“We all know that I’m a bad liar, nobody would believe me, that I’m Lockwood’s girlfriend”, Lucy stated. Normally you loved Lucy, she was your best friend. But right now, you could have punched her.

“As if anyone would think I was dating Lockwood”, you countered and directed to the asshole himself, you said: “I would never date someone like you.”

“And I would never date someone like you”, he fired back, and you didn’t have to look at Lucy and George to see them rolling their eyes, like always when Lockwood and you decided to argue.

“With the sexual tension between you, no one will doubt that you are dating”, Lucy butted in and could be glad, that looks didn’t kill otherwise she would be six feet under.

“There is no sexual tension, only hate”, you argued hotly.

You would never admit that there was maybe sexual tension, because if you would, you would think about it, you would think about the kisses in this one fatal night and that was a way, you didn’t want to go. Because if you would go down this path, there was no return to normal. Therefore, it was way easier to tell yourself and anybody else, that you hated Anthony J. Lockwood with burning passion.

“But Lucy is right, Y/N should join Lockwood”, George the little backstabber joined Lucy’s side. Knowing when a fight was lost, you ran your hand over your face.

“This can only go wrong.”

You should be right.  You weren’t even an hour at the manor, and you hated everything. The weirdos got on your nerves with their own stupidity. Lockwood's arm had been around your waist for almost 43 minutes, and you wanted nothing more than to rip it off and hit him with it to dead. Yeah, you were everything than happy. I didn’t help, that Lockwood had decided that fake girlfriend wasn’t fancy enough and had given you an engagement ring before he introduced you to everyone as his fiancée. You were dead and in hell, otherwise you couldn’t explain, how you landed in this situation. At least the ring was pretty.

“We should sneak away and look for the source”, you whispered, only loud enough for him barely to hear you. Slowly, Lockwood nodded to let you know that he heard you. Calculating, he let his gaze wander about the other people in the room, probably to find the best way to disappear unnoticed.

“We should kiss”, he said after a moment, and somehow managed to seem totally serious.

“What?”, you almost choked from sheer surprise.

“If we make out, no one will be surprised if we disappear, everyone will just think that we were looking for a quiet corner to have a little fun.”

Hearing this, you grimaced. But he wasn’t wrong. Nobody would think much about you sneaking off when you first put on a show. Without a verbal response, you grabbed Lockwood by his tie and pulled him down to your height. Hungrily, you caught his lips with yours. Lockwood didn’t waste any time and pulled your body against his. Eagerly his hands roamed over your body, and you had the feeling, that this meant a little bit more to both of you, than just a show for a case. Not that you would ever admit it.

When your lungs were screaming for air, you reluctantly broke the kiss.

“You’re actually a really good kisser”, Lockwood smiled down at you, and it felt like your stomach was riding a rollercoaster.

“You’re actually very average”, you lied like the liar you were. But the truth was, there was nothing you would like more than to kiss him again.

“Like, you have kissed so many guys to know what average is. Feel free to admit it, I’m a good kisser.”

Seeing his arrogant smile, you just rolled your eyes.

“Let’s go, so we didn’t kiss for nothing!”

Together you walked through the manor, till you found the library, your first guess for the location of the source. You just started to look around when you heard steps coming in your direction. Before you could find a good hiding space, the door opened and nobody else than the owner of the manor, the weirdo you wanted to steal from, was standing there.

“Miss, did you get lost? The library is not open for the guest”, he told you, and you tried your best innocent smile. But Lockwood appeared beside you before you could try to lie your way out of it.

“I’m so sorry, Sir. My fiancée and I were just trying to find a quiet room”, he gave the owner his best Lockwood smile, while his arms found again his way around your hip.

“Then I would suggest trying the bedroom assigned to you.”

Under his caution eyes, you and Lockwood walked out of the library.

“I saw the source”, Lockwood whispered in your ear, at the moment the door closed behind you.

“Did you take it?”

“No, didn’t have the chance, but we can do it tomorrow, right now we should return to our bedroom, or do you want to socialize a little bit more with the other guest?” Hell no!

“Let’s go.”

Of course, your bedroom had only one bed. At least it was big. You and Lockwood could both sleep in it without touching each other. Without saying much and more important without arguing, you both got ready for bed. Of course, Lockwood decided against wearing a shirt.

“I hope one night you will freeze to death”, you mumbled while slipping under the blanket.

“I’m too hot for this and considering how you always cuddle up to me at night, you know it too.”

Rarely, you were lost for words, but this was one of these moments.

“Keep dreaming, Lockwood”, you shot back, but both of you knew that this was a lame response. As a reaction, Lockwood just gave you a cocky grin.

“We'll see that tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, we will.”

You firmly resolved to keep a lot of distance from Lockwood and his tempting warmth that night.

But waking up the next morning, you realized that you could even break the best resolutions. Like this one. Lockwood was like a mobile heater, and that was too tempting for you when you were sleeping. This night was no difference. As you had been asleep, you had cuddled yourself in Lockwood’s side, and he had draped an arm around you, to pull you even further against him.

With a bright red face, you tried to free yourself from his hug. But your movement woke him up.

“Look like I was right, I’m hot, and you know it”, sleepy, he smiled up at you.

Torn back and forth, you closed and opened your mouth. You weren’t sure if you should kiss him or choke him till he died. You did neither.

“Or maybe you are just so touch starved that you can’t help but hold me in your sleep”, you countered.

“Maybe, but who could blame me?”

Too stunned to speak, you just stared at him. Was he flirting with you? Or were you just hallucinating? It must be the second. Maybe you were still dreaming.

“It feels really nice to hold you in my arms.”

“But aren’t we hating each other?”, a bit overwhelmed, you ran your hand through your hair. You were here to steal a source, not to talk abut feeling with Lockwood, you weren’t prepared for this.

“I never hated you, and I think you also don’t hate me.”

That was a bold statement, but maybe it was the truth. You weren’t sure what you felt for Lockwood. He had been an asshole to you from day one. And you hadn’t been better. Since the beginning, he had something that you just wanted to kiss or kill him. Because you were an insecure mess, you had decided to be mean to him rather than get hurt by him.

“But why were you such an asshole?”, you asked, curious.

“Because you let me something feel, I don’t like. In your presence, I feel so giddy and nervous, not like the agency head I should be.”

“We are such idiots. You are an idiot, but maybe I’m the biggest idiot of all. Seeing your face let me feel stronger emotions than I ever felt before, and I’m not sure if I want to kill or kiss you for it.”

“Then kiss me.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. You kissed him like you always wanted to be kissed, like nothing in the world mattered to you beside him. And maybe this was true, the first thing you thought about was normally him and the last thing which crossed your mind before falling asleep was his dorky smile. You loved him, and you were an idiot, that it took you so long to realize it.  

The first time you wanted to share a bed with Lockwood was after you and him returned successfully from your mission. You stole the source without getting caught, and after you told Lucy and George how you did it, you were sitting in the living room. Lucy and George already went to bed and you both were peacefully silent. The only sound was the cracking of the logs in the fireplace, while Lockwood played softly with your hand in his. You were still wearing the ring he had given you. You had wanted to give it back to him, but he insisted that you keep it.

“Do you need a personal heater this night?”, Lockwood broke the silence, and you gave him a bashful smile.

“Maybe?”

“Are my eyes deceiving me or is that a smile, my love?”

“Oh, shut up.”

You were still laughing when Lockwood pulled you up from the sofa. Hand in hand, you walked up the stairs to his bedroom and for the first time in your life, you wanted to share a bed with him. So, this was what you did. Slipping under the blanked with him, you let him pull yourself in his arms. With your head laying on his naked chest and a happy smile, you slowly drifted away.      

#anthony lockwood #lockwood & co #lockwood & co fanfic #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood netflix #fanfic #lockwood x reader #anthony bloody lockwood

[andvys]

We'll burn the sky | part six

Warnings: a lot of angst, mentions of suicide (reader's dad's death), mentions of drug abuse, absent parents, mentions of cheating

Pairings: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar!fem!reader | Eddie Munson x Chrissy Cunningham

Summary: after finding out the truth about Eddie, you struggle with your feelings and your trust in him.

Words count: 7.6k

@littledemondani thank you for the idea with the *cough* kiss *cough*

Series masterlist

-

When you were 7 years old, you watched your mother pack your clothes into the pink bag your dad gave you for your birthday. You were crying, holding your favorite plushie against your chest as you stared at her. 

“Please mom, I don’t want to go,” you said to her, “I wanna stay with you.” 

Your mother didn’t listen and if she did, she didn’t care. She threw your clothes and your shoes in there, not even bothering to fold your shirts or your pants. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” Is all she said to you, letting the tears fall down her pretty face, “he can take better care of you.”

“I don’t want to live with Dad, he’s never home.” 

Your words meant nothing to her. She continued to pack your clothes until they were all stuffed in the bag. She grabbed your hand and led you to her car. She dropped you off at your Dad’s house. She gave you one last hug and a goodbye kiss on your forehead before she left you standing in the rain, crying for her not to go, not caring that he wouldn’t be home until later that night. 

That was the last time you had seen her. Sometimes she would call or send you a letter but that’s all. She never gave you an explanation as to why she left you. 

You weren’t shocked, even at the age of 7, you could tell that she struggled with you in her life, you saw it coming. 

At the age of 12, you watched your dad being hospitalized after a concert. He collapsed on stage after performing the last song of the night. You watched him sing from backstage and when you saw him passing out, you didn’t even hesitate to run towards him, brushing Sam’s hands off of you when he tried to pull you away from your dad. 

They told you that he was dehydrated and tired and that is why he had passed out but you weren’t clueless. Even then, you already knew what he did when he locked himself in the bathrooms and came out wiping his nose.

You weren’t shocked about what happened that night. 

He was an amazing dad and when you moved in with him, he did everything to make you happy. He spent as much time with you as he could but he was a suffering person and you knew that it was only a matter of time before he left you too. 

At the age of 15, you watched your best friend choosing others over you. She began to pull away from you more and more, every day. Always making excuses to cancel plans with you. She’d tell you she was sick but then you’d see her making plans with other people, with girls that didn’t like you. 

That didn’t shock you either. 

At the age of 17, your life changed forever. 

On Christmas Eve, you came home after visiting Sam and his family. You brought the cookies that his kids made, the ones that your dad loved so much. You placed them on the counter before you went looking for him, thinking that you would find him in his office. 

You could still smell his cologne and the pine from the christmas tree that stood in the large living room whenever you thought of that day. 

A dreadful feeling settled in your stomach when you didn’t hear his voice or the sound of his guitar playing. 

He wasn’t in his office, he wasn’t in his bedroom either and deep down you already knew what you would find. You called out to him with a shaky voice as you neared the open bathroom door. You opened it fully and the sight in front of you made you want to throw up. 

Your dad was laying on the bathroom floor, needle still sticking inside his skin, his eyes were closed, he was already gone.

You ran towards him and dropped to your knees, you pulled his dead body into your lap and cried for him to wake up even though you knew that he would never wake up again, he would never open his eyes again, he would never come back again.

What you found that night didn't shock you either, you saw it coming. He had been dead for a long time already, what was left was only an empty shell.

But nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared you for this moment. 

You stand frozen in place, your heart is racing in your chest, you feel the emptiness in your stomach starting to eat at you. The coil in your throat makes you struggle to breath. 

Her lips are moving but you can’t hear what she is saying. 

You blink, furrowing your brows as you tear your eyes away from her and look into those brown eyes that you have found home in. He is staring at you, looking into your eyes with shock, sadness, panic, regret and guilt, the guilt that has been there so many times, the guilt that you couldn’t explain until now. 

And even though she is there and other's are rushing past you, no one else exists in that moment but the two of you as you stare into each other's eyes.

You are confused and lost. There is no other emotions yet, just endless confusion.

Your eyes trail down to her hand that is resting on his chest, her body is pressed against his, she is smiling as she looks up at him, not realizing that he isn’t even listening to a word she is saying.

Your breath gets caught in your throat when you notice that his hand is laying on the small of her back. The hand that had been holding yours a few moments ago. Your eyes find his again and you can’t even hide the shock on your face. 

You don’t need words, you don’t need an explanation, you don't need to ask questions to find out what this is. 

She is his. He is hers. They are together. 

How long have they been together? How long has he been keeping this from you?

Chrissy.

His voice calling her name echoes in your mind.

Chrissy. Chrissy. Chrissy.

You have heard that name before.

He feels sick, he feels like crying, he feels like taking your hand in his and running away, not even caring about the girl in his arms, that one he hasn’t thought about once today. 

His heart aches in his chest when he sees the look on your face.

He pleads with his eyes, he blinks as he feels the tears welling up in his eyes. 

‘What have I done?’ he thinks to himself. 

“Eddie…. Eddie!” 

Chrissy’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts, he tears his eyes away from you and looks down at her. Blinking the tears away, he tries to give her a smile but he can’t, he only looks at her in confusion. Why is she here?

She smiles at him and snuggles into his chest, “aren’t you happy to see me?” 

He doesn’t answer her, he looks up at you but you are gone. Panicked, he starts looking around for you but he can’t see you anywhere. 

He closes his eyes, a shaky sigh falls from his lips.

You let your feet carry you towards the others, who are waiting to go on stage. None of them notice the confused and shocked look on your face. Gareth and Jeff are joking around, Johnny occupies himself with his guitar. 

The opening act is still playing but you can barely hear anything, you feel as though you are underwater, hearing the faint voices coming from somewhere on the surface. 

Your chest is rising up and down heavily. 

You don’t understand. 

“You okay, kid?” Rob asks, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

You flinch and he raises his hands up in surrender, “whoa, it’s just me, y/n,” he mumbles. The boys turn around to look at you after hearing his words. Jeff furrows his brows when he sees the lost and confused look on your face. 

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, taking a step towards you, “did something happen?” 

The confused look stays in your eyes as you stare at him. Does he know? 

“Where’s Eddie?” Gareth asks, looking at you in concern. 

Rob places his drink on the equipment cart before he takes a step forward, “kid, are you okay? You’re about to go on stage. Do you feel sick or nauseous, do you need something–” 

“Oh shit,” Jeff mumbles as he catches the sight of Eddie, holding Chrissy’s hand as he walks towards you. 

“Fuck,” Gareth sighs with an unreadable look on his face. 

Your stomach drops. Closing your eyes, you let out a laugh of disbelief. They all know. 

The only clueless one is your manager, he looks around with confusion written all over his face. 

Jeff mumbles your name as he tries to place his hand on your shoulder but you slap it away with an angry sigh. 

“Hi, guys.” 

You hear her voice and it makes your heart ache even more. 

“Hi.. Chrissy.” 

You feel so much hurt and so much anger but you refuse to let them see it right now, you refuse to let these feelings take control of you right now. 

‘Pull yourself together,’ you think to yourself. Taking a deep breath, you plaster a smile on your face and turn around to look at the girl, you have yet to speak to. 

Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see Eddie shifting uncomfortably. 

Her eyes meet yours and a smile appears on her face– a smile, you can tell, is not genuine in any way. You can see the distaste in her eyes, the jealousy, the coldness, “hi, I’m Chrissy. I’m Eddie’s girlfriend.” 

Girlfriend. You want to throw up. 

“Girlfriend?” you ask with a smile on your face, “Eddie never told me he has one and he usually tells me everything, right Eddie?” you say without looking at him. 

She blinks, squinting her eyes, her lips twitch, “I-I’m sure he told you, after all he wrote all those songs about me,” she says, tilting her head as she looks you up and down. You can see the judgmental look in her eyes. 

He wrote the songs about her? You want to scoff, you want to laugh, you want to scream and cry. He wrote the songs before he came to Los Angeles, he wrote the songs when he was still in Hawkins. All this time, he had been with her already, when he met you, he had already been with her, when he touched you he was with her, when he kissed you he was with her, when he said all those things to you, he was with her.

“What songs?” you laugh, shaking your head. You watch the anger appearing in her eyes, her lips part and she’s about to say something when you cut her off. 

“Oh, you mean the songs that were shit? They didn’t even make it on the album, honey.” 

Eddie can’t even be hurt by your words, the songs were shit but he feels surprised. He stares at you with a slightly shocked look in his eyes, just a few minutes ago, you stood there with a heartbroken look in your eyes and now there was nothing but a coldness in them, he has never seen before and it scares him. 

Rob raises his brows, he places his hands on his hips and looks around with wide eyes. 

Gareth clears his throat, he looks down and starts playing with his drumsticks. 

“Didn’t you listen to the album?” you ask. 

She shifts uncomfortably, playing with the hem of her skirt as she looks up at her boyfriend. He looks back at her and you look down at his hand, she is holding it but his hand is limp in her touch. 

“It’s not my style,” Chrissy mumbles, giving you an icy glare.

"But he wrote those songs about you," you tilt your head, pouting slightly.

She hates you, you can tell that she does. You can see it in her eyes.

She only shrugs in response.

You nod, “well, I hope it won’t be too wild for you tonight,” you mumble as you give her one last look before you turn away from her and Eddie. The boys are all avoiding looking into your eyes and you scoff at them. 

Reaching for the glass of whiskey that Rob placed on the table. 

“Wait–” Rob mumbles but quickly stops when he sees the anger in your eyes, waving his hand, he turns away from you. 

Eddie watches with a bad feeling in his chest. 

You slam the now empty glass back on the table and take a look at him, “better get your good luck kiss, Munson,” you mutter as you reach for the red microphone on the table. 

His lips part, he wants to say something but no words come out. 

The soft look in your eyes long gone, all there is now is the angry, betrayed and cold look in your eyes and it breaks his heart. He wants to take your hand, he wants to leave this place, he wants to explain everything, he wants to pull you into his arms, he wants to kiss you again and beg you to go back to the way things were.

Everyone notices the shift of energy. Everyone notices the anger and the intensity in your voice. 

You don’t change anything about your performance with Eddie, you let him touch you the way he always does, you let him pull you closer, you let him touch your waist, you let him lean his forehead against yours, you let him sing in your microphone with you. 

You can feel his fear, his regret, his guilt. 

He can feel your anger, your pain and the stiffness in your body when he lays his hands on your body. 

The anger and the rage is so clear in your voice and in some weird way, it makes you even better. 

Usually, you engage with the crowd a lot more but tonight, all you see is Eddie. You look into his eyes with so much anger, it makes him nervous. 

The pain doesn’t hit you until the last song- the one that you have spend so much time working on with him. The realization that floods through you makes your heart hurt the way it never has before. Everything begins to make sense. Why he never told you, why they boys never told you. 

He used you, in every way possible and the realization makes you feel sick.

You let him take your hand as you say your goodbye’s and you let him keep holding your hand when you exit the stage. You see Rob staring at you in concern and you see Chrissy staring at yours and Eddie’s hands with anger in her eyes and it only makes you even more sick. 

He has a girlfriend, he had one all this time. 

You rip your hand out of his. 

“What was that?” Gareth asks you in excitement, blind to the angry tears in your eyes, “you were fucking fantastic out there tonight!” 

You huff in anger as you rush past all of them, ignoring his words, or Jeff’s or Rob’s as they all call out to you. 

Eddie follows you with his eyes, fear and worry lingering in his eyes.

Chrissy walks towards him with a smile on her face, “hey–”

“Hold on,” Eddie mumbles, not even looking at her, “I’ll be right back,” he says before he runs after you. 

“Eddie!” Chrissy yells in disbelief. 

You slam the door shut and walk further into the room. Breathing heavily, you put your hands on your head. Your bottom lip quivers and your vision blurs, your eyes fall on the couch you kissed Eddie on, just a few hours ago. 

“I’m crazy about you.” 

“There’s no other like you.” 

“I fucking adore you.”

Lies. All lies. 

You felt pain before, you felt heartbreak before but not like this.

You feel the tears welling up in your eyes but you refuse to cry. You scoff in disbelief and shake your head angrily.

“Sweetheart.” 

You freeze at the sound of his voice. You hear him closing the door. You don’t even bother to blink the tears away before you turn around to look at him. His bangs cling to his sweaty forehead, his hands are shaky, his eyes are filled with regret. 

For a moment, neither of you say anything. You just stare at each other. He sees the pain in your eyes, the pain that he has caused. 

He walks towards you slowly, you don’t move, you just blink as you stare at him in confusion and disbelief. 

He stops in front of you, “I can explain.”

You frown at his words, your bottom lip quivers, a fresh wave of tears well up in your eyes as you stare into the eyes that once brought you so much comfort. 

Explain? Is he serious? What is there to explain? 

You don’t even notice that your tears have started to fall. He cups your cheek and wipes them away. 

His touch brings you nothing but pain. 

You push him away from you, “don’t fucking touch me.” 

Hurt flickers in his eyes, “sweetheart–” 

“I’m not your sweetheart!” 

“Please,” he whispers, “don’t do this.” 

“Do what?” you scoff, shaking your head. 

“Don’t push me away,” he whispers. 

His eyes are glassy, filled with nothing but guilt and pain. 

“What the fuck, Eddie?” you mumble as place your palms against his chest, pushing him further away from you and he lets you, he doesn’t fight it, he just closes his eyes as you keep pushing him back until he is pressed against the same door, that he pushed you against when he kissed you, “what the fuck?” 

“You have a fucking girlfriend? What the hell is wrong with you?” 

He blinks, looking away for a moment, he sniffles, bringing his hand up to his face to wipe his tears away. 

“Why are you crying?” you ask angrily, “why are you fucking crying? You lied to me all this fucking time! You lied about your fucking feelings, you lied about the shit you said to me earlier!” 

He shakes his head.

“I never lied to you about the things that I said. I meant them,” he says as he cups your cheeks again, “I meant them.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you whisper, staring at him in confusion.

He shrugs.

"How long have you been with her, huh?"

He looks down, brown eyes flashing with guilt, "two years," he whispers.

You laugh in disbelief, "two years and you haven't mentioned her once."

You know why, you know exactly why he didn't tell you.

“I-I didn’t want to,” he says, “I didn’t think that anything would happen between us, I-I fought the feelings for a long time but I– I couldn’t fight them any longer and I couldn’t, I just couldn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t want me anymore if I told you about her."

"How dare you talk about feelings?” you ask, not even feeling the tears anymore, “you fucking used me, you did so from the start!” 

“What? No!” he shakes his head with wide eyes, “I never used you!” 

“Yes, you fucking did! That’s why you never told me about her! That's why the guys never told me! You used me for everything! You used me for the songs, you used me for this fucking band, you knew who I was– who my dad was! You needed me and you needed to make sure that I stayed, that’s why you spent so much fucking time with me, that’s why you made me like you, that’s why you made me fall in love with you!” you scream at him, your voice heavy with emotions, your eyes filled with nothing but disgust and anger for the man in front of you. You don’t even care about hiding your feelings anymore, you don’t care about hiding the pain or the anger. 

Eddie only stares at you with a shocked expression on his face, he blinks and stands frozen in place. 

He knew you liked him, he knew you liked spending time with him, he knew you liked touching and kissing him but he didn’t know that your feelings were as deep as his. 

“Using me for the music wasn't enough, you just had to go even further, huh? Was I her replacement? You needed someone to keep your bed warm?” you cry, throwing your hands up. 

He doesn’t say a word, he just stares at you as tears slip down his cheeks, not knowing that he makes it all even worse with his silence. 

You sniffle, your chest is filled with so much pain and you begin to struggle to breathe. 

How could you let this happen? How could you not see all the clear signs? How were you so blind? 

He talked to her when you were there, Chris. 

“Chris…calm down! Please.. just stop calling her that.” 

“I’m not coming home, don’t you get it?”

You shake your head at the memories. You can’t even look at him and the broken look in his eyes, you turn away from him as a sob falls from your lips. 

His heart shatters at the sound of it. His own tears run down his face, he rushes towards you, hands itching to touch you and comfort you. 

You want to pull yourself together, you want to stop crying, you want to push him away and walk out of the room but you can’t. Right now, you can’t, it all hurts so much. 

You feel his hands on your cheeks again, he tilts your head up, “I never used you, not in any way, you hear me?” 

“Yes, you did,” you whisper angrily, “you all did, I was a big fucking joke to all of you! You needed me for this stupid band, you said so yourself, remember? And while you were at it, you decided to use me too because she wasn’t there!” 

“No!” he pulls you closer, you can feel the shakiness of his hands, you can see how much he’s hurting too, “that’s not true, at all!” Yes it is, no one and nothing can convince you otherwise. 

You close your eyes and shake your head, the stiffness in your body disappears and you melt into his touch, you’re exhausted. Eddie leans down, his lips touch your cheeks, he kisses your tears away, “please, that’s not what happened. I– we never used you. I wanted you right from the start, I wanted you in the band, I wanted you with me,” he mumbles against your skin. 

“Just stop, Eddie,” you whisper even though you want to yell at him and push him away from you. 

He continues to kiss your tears away as you stand there frozen in place. 

“Please, just stop,” your voice breaks and so does his heart. One look into your eyes and he knows, he lost you. 

“I’m done with this,” you say shakily, “I’m done with you.” 

His bottom lip quivers, his face falls and just the sight of him alone is enough to shatter the last piece of your already broken heart. 

“Please.” 

“Stay away from me, Eddie,” you whisper as you take one final look at him before you turn away. 

His shoulders slump as he begins to cry harder, he wants to follow you, he wants to take your hand, he wants to pull you into his arms again but all he can do is watch you leave. 

You grab your jacket and wipe your tears away before you open the door and walk out with fresh tears in your eyes. 

Betrayal and heartbreak is all you feel. His tears, his pleading eyes, his words, his touches didn’t convince you. You don’t believe him, you don’t believe a single word he told you. 

You feel stupid, you feel like a fool for falling for him, for believing him. All this time, he led you on. 

Using you for the music was one thing but using you to fill the hole that she left when she wasn’t there was another. 

You press your lips together to keep yourself from sobbing. Putting the jacket on, you walk away, not bothering to look for the others. You don’t want to see them, you don’t want to see anyone. You don’t want to go on the tour bus, you don’t want to go back into the hotel room that you have shared with Eddie. 

“Y/n!” 

You clench your jaw at the sound of Gareth’s voice. 

“Wait up for me!” 

You halt in your tracks, closing your eyes, you take a deep breath. You turn around and tilt your head as you look at him.

His hair is wet and he changed his clothes, you can smell his aftershave as he stops in front of you. His eyes widen a little, guilt flashes in them, he speaks your name softly. 

“What do you want?” you ask. 

The anger rises up in you again. He pushed you into Eddie’s arms, he did everything to bring the two of you together, all while knowing about his girlfriend. 

“I-I.. shit, I didn’t think this would happen.” 

A look of disbelief settles on your face and you can’t help but laugh at his words despite the burning in your eyes. 

“Well, what did you think would happen, huh?” you ask, not caring about the prying eyes of the staff. 

Gareth sighs, looking down, “I just, Eddie likes you and you like him, I just wanted.. to help.” 

You scoff, shaking your head, “help? You helped real fucking good, Gareth. He had a girlfriend all this time and you what? You thought that it would be fun to convince him to cheat on her with me?” you point to yourself, “the fool that fell in love with that asshole?”

He shakes his head with wide eyes. 

"No, I-I thought he would leave her, I didn't even know that they were still together, you were so close, I thought it was over."

Bullshit.

“What a fucking shit show,” you mumble before you walk away to look for one of the security guards that will get you out of the venue. You don’t want to be around any of them tonight. 

-

Eddie walks out of the room after wiping the tears off that continued to fall after you left.

“There you are,” Chrissy says as she walks towards him after leaving the conversation with Rob. 

He plasters a smile on his face as he looks at his girlfriend. 

“Is everything okay?” she asks, reaching for his hand. 

He nods, “yeah, everything is okay, Chrissy,” he lies. 

She furrows her brows and stares at her boyfriend, “you know, I thought you’d be happier to see me.” 

“I am happy, Chris,” he mumbles, “I’m just tired.” 

A breathy sigh leaves her lips, she stands on her tippy toes and places her hands on his chest as she starts to kiss his neck, “are you really? I missed you,” she purrs as she continues to kiss his neck, “I thought we’d make up for lost time tonight.” 

Eddie closes his eyes, he places his hands on her waist and sighs, not out of pleasure but out of frustration. He can’t do this, he doesn’t want to do this. 

“Come on,” he mumbles, “I just want to go back to the hotel.” 

She gives him one last peck before she pulls away. 

The smile he gives her is so painful and forced, he is surprised that she doesn’t question it. 

“I didn’t know you were planning a surprise.” 

“I uh–” she lets out a quiet laugh, “I’m actually here for Aubrey’s bachelorette party, we’ve been here since monday.” 

“Oh,” he nods. Of course she didn’t come here just for him. 

“How are things back home?” he asks to fill the awkward silence between them.

Her blue eyes flash with something unreadable, she looks away for a moment before she looks back at him with a sheepish smile on her face, “good.. yeah, they’re good.” 

“Do you see Wayne sometimes?” 

She laughs a little as she shakes her head, “where would I see him, Eddie?” 

He frowns at her words, shrugging, “at the store?” he suggests, “family video? I know you love to get your movies there.” 

She looks down, “I never see him around,” she shrugs. 

Leaving the venue was always a lot, fans were waiting outside, hoping for an autograph or a picture or more and usually, everyone would stop to engage with the fans but everything was different tonight. Gareth felt guilty after the conversation with you, giving his fangirls nothing more than a few smiles and hugs before disappearing in the tour bus, Jeff signed a few poster and so did Johnny but Eddie walked straight into the tour bus, trying to shield his girlfriend from the prying eyes and the paparazzis.

Eddie doesn’t mind the fans but he hates the media, the flashing lights, the prying eyes and the questions that are constantly thrown at him and at you. 

As he looked around, he noticed that everyone was there but you. 

“Where’s y/n?”

“She already left,” Rob says with a pointed look on his face, “with one of the security guards.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

-

You felt angry on stage. 

You felt angry when you talked to him. 

You felt angry when you talked to Gareth. 

You felt angry on the way back to the hotel. 

But the moment you stepped into your hotel room and turned the lights on, your eyes fell on the bed that you shared with Eddie earlier, all the anger disappeared and all you felt was agonizing pain in your chest. 

He left his things here, the shirt he wore earlier is still on the bed, his sunglasses are still on the dresser, his leather jacket is draped over the chair. One of his necklaces laying next to yours that you have taken off this morning. 

You close your eyes as you lean your back against the door. 

You are still in disbelief, still in shock. You feel like a zombie as you waltz through the room, throwing your jacket on the chair by the window, you take your boots off and throw them on the floor. You collect some fresh clothes before you make your way to the bathroom to take a shower. 

Usually, you are excited to wash the sweat off from performing all night but tonight, you just want to wash his touch off. As though that could ever be possible. 

His touches, his kisses are burned into your skin for eternity.

You stand there for what feels like forever, your legs almost give out and you have to sit down to keep yourself from falling. You pull your knees up to your chest and let the water fall down on you. 

You sit there until the room is filled with steam and the heat gets too much. 

The tears don’t appear until you stare at yourself in the mirror. 

You brush your hair and stare at the marks that Eddie left on your neck, the tears begin to fall, staining your cheeks once again. 

He touched you and thought of someone else. 

He kissed you and had her on his mind. 

You were nothing but a placeholder. A body to keep his bed warm. 

He was using you while you were falling in love with him like a fool.

You feel sick, you feel like screaming your lungs out, you feel like destroying things, you feel like destroying yourself, you feel like punishing yourself for being so stupid and blind.  

You turn off the lights and leave the bathroom just as a knock on your door echoes through the silent room. 

“Y/n, kid, are you in there?” 

You sigh in relief when you hear Rob’s voice on the other side of the door. 

“Yeah.” 

“Is uh– is everything okay? You need anything?” 

With your eyes closed, you lean against the door. Warm tears slide down your cheeks, your breathing gets heavy and you can feel yourself nearing a breakdown. 

“No, I’m good, I’m just gonna get some sleep now,” you say. 

“Okay. Don’t miss breakfast tomorrow, alright?” 

“I won’t.”

“Good night, kid.” 

“Night.” 

You drag yourself to the bed, throwing Eddie’s shirt on the ground as you lift the covers and crawl inside. The moment your head hits the pillow and you smell him, a sob falls from your lips. You squeeze your eyes shut and pull the blanket up to your chest. 

The pain is unbearable.

You never understood what your dad felt like when he got his heart broken, you could only imagine it. 

Now you understand it. 

Now you understand everything. 

Through the thin hotel room walls, Eddie can hear you crying. He can hear your sobs, he can hear you suffering. Because of him. He wants nothing more than to go over to your room and pull you into his arms, hold you and take away all the pain that he has caused but he can’t.

Another girl is laying in his arms, snuggling into his chest with a sigh. She sleeps soundly in his arms. 

Eddie looks down at her and his heart hurts. She is not the one he wants any longer. He doesn’t want her in his arms, he wants you.��

Your cries make him cry, hot tears run down his skin, staining the pillow he is lying on. He broke your heart and his own too. 

Losing you was something he was always afraid of but he hoped that he could prevent it, he hoped that he could break things off with her before you found out. 

But everything he had built with you fell apart in one night. 

And he knows that there is nothing he can do to change it, there is nothing he can do to fix it. He ruined it all himself. 

Maybe there is a way for you to fall back together but deep down he knows, he lost you. 

-

If there is one useful thing that your mother has taught you in one of the few phone calls you have had with her, it’s to never show how much you’re hurting. 

‘You always gotta look good, even if you don’t feel good. You don’t need others to be all up in your business and see how much you’re suffering. They want to see you suffer, don’t show them.’ 

So you pull yourself together even if you don’t feel like it. 

‘Always make sure your hair looks good, fix your makeup, wear your best clothes, smell good.’ 

You do your hair, you put on makeup, you pick out a good outfit and your favorite shoes, you put your favorite perfume on. 

‘Smile, honey. Don’t show them how miserable you are, you don’t want to give them that satisfaction.’ 

You nod to yourself as you look into the mirror. 

‘And if someone hurts you, make sure to hurt them back. Make them suffer.’ 

Yeah, thanks mom. 

The thought of seeing Eddie makes you feel sick and yet you make your way into the dining area. 

You don’t hear the whispers around you and you don’t feel the eyes on you, focused on something— someone entirely else as you get yourself a coffee before leaving the buffet to look for the others. 

You find them sitting at a round table by the big windows. All of them are there, including Eddie and his girlfriend. You clench your jaw at the sight of them. 

Your heart aches in your chest when you see her moving closer to him, whispering something in his ear as she pushes his hair away. It makes you angry, he makes you angry and she makes you angry too. You want to rip her hands off of him and you want to hurt him. 

Why does he get to be happy after what he did?

“You spend the night by yourself, Gareth?” Rob asks as he sips on his coffee. 

Gareth hums, “yeah, I–”  he pauses to shovel the scrambled eggs into his mouth, “didn’t feel like hooking up with some stranger.” 

Chrissy gives him a disgusted look as he talks with his mouth full, “ew,” she mumbles. 

Gareth gives her sarcastic grin before he stabs his fork into his pancake and takes a bite out of it. 

She rolls her eyes and turns away from him. 

Rob chuckles, “look at you, turning into a whole new man,” he jokes causing Jeff to laugh. 

“Yeah, he is ready to settle down,” Johnny grinnes. 

Gareth swallows, almost choking on his food, he reaches for the orange juice and gulps it down, wiping his mouth with his sleeve to piss off Chrissy, he smirks to himself when she hears her mumbling something under her breath. 

“Settling down isn’t my thing, look at Eddie, he is in a relationship and he’s miserable,” he says as though he is stating a fact as he places his elbows on the table and points to his friend with his fork. 

Eddie’s puffy eyes widen and he looks at his friend in surprise. 

“He is not miserable!” Chrissy gasps in disbelief. 

Jeff clears his throat. 

“He looks pretty miserable to me, Christy.” 

She glares at him as she tries to come up with a response. 

Eddie avoids looking into her eyes, instead he looks at Jeff, who stops chewing as he stares at something behind his shoulder, his eyes widen a little and he suddenly looks nervous. 

Eddie's eyes flash with curiosity. 

Just as he’s about to turn around, he suddenly feels a ringed hand settling on his shoulder and sliding down his back. It’s your hand. His heart flutters and so does his stomach, even with his girlfriend here.

You place your coffee on the table and sit down on the chair next to Eddie’s. Everyone pauses what they’re doing, staring at you with nervous and curious looks on their faces. 

You smile as though nothing ever happened. 

You turn to look at Eddie. You have to restrain a gasp when you see the puffiness and the dark circles under his eyes. He looks just as miserable as you are feeling and the sight alone is almost enough to make you cry again but you keep smiling at him, sliding your hand back up to his shoulder, you lean closer, “good morning, baby.” You kiss the corner of his mouth. Your lips linger for longer than necessary, you watch his eyes widen in shock, a little gasp falling from his lips.

Chrissy stares at you, frozen in place just like her dumbfound boyfriend. 

A shit eating grin appears on Gareth's face.

Johnny stares at you in shock.

Rob smiles into his mug and Jeff almost spits his food out as he looks between you and Eddie and then at Chrissy who stands up suddenly, chair scraping against the floor as she looks at you angrily, “what the fuck?!” She shrieks, “Eddie!” 

Chrissy looks down at him in disbelief as he makes no move to remove your hand or push you away from him or look up at her. His eyes are on you as he sits there frozen in place.

He doesn't move when Chrissy slaps his shoulder, he doesn't move when she says his name again.

Leaving your hand to rest on his shoulder, you take your mug and take a sip as you stare at him with a satisfied smile on your face. 

Two can play that game, Eddie. 

"What's wrong, Chrissy?" you ask with a sweet smile.

She shakes her head, furrowing her brows at your question, "why are you kissing my boyfriend?"

"Do you want a kiss too?" you ask.

She gasps, "I- what?!"

Eddie gapes at you.

Gareth can't even contain his laughter any longer, earning a slap on his shoulder from Jeff.

"Eddie and I share everything, didn't he tell you?"

You move his hair back, running your fingers through it as you lean your chin on his shoulder and he lets you.

Her cheeks are red, her eyes are filled with anger as she looks between you and Eddie. It's amusing to you.

"Eddie?"

He finally tears his eyes away from you and looks up her. His confused stare turns into a guilty one and she easily figures out why he looks so guilty.

"Chris-"

"You asshole!" she cries as she delivers a harsh slap to his cheek before she storms away.

Eddie closes his eyes, clenching his jaw, he deserved that.

The moment she's gone, you move away from Eddie and you lean back in your chair, taking a look around, you smirk to yourself when you see all the shocked faces.

Rob scratches the back of his neck as he glances at you.

Eddie speaks your name softly.

You expected him to get mad at you, to yell at you and ask you why you did that but instead you're met by the sight of his soft eyes as you look back at him and irritates you.

"Don't you want to follow your girlfriend, Eddie?"

Confusion is written all over his face as he shakes his head. His cheek is red from the harsh slap, eyes filled with concern and hurt.

"What was that?" he asks, not understanding why you would touch him and kiss him again after what you said to him last night. A foolish part of him hopes that things can go back to the way they were before yesterday but the coldness in your eyes shows him that things will never be the same again.

"That was me showing your girlfriend what a piece of shit you are, Eddie."

Saying these words hurt you just as much as they hurt him.

He says your name with a shaky voice, like he is on the verge of crying.

You can't do this.

You can't do this.

Looking into his glassy eyes, hearing his shaky voice, seeing how hurt he looks, breaks your heart even more.

You thought you could make yourself believe that you would be fine, that you could pretend that it doesn't hurt but you would be lying to yourself.

You get up and storm out of the room without looking back.

"Y/n!"

He didn't follow her out but he follows you.

You walk through the lobby and back to the elevators, blinking your tears away.

"Wait!"

He grabs your upper arm and pulls you back, placing both of his hands on your arms, he cages you against the nearest wall so you don't escape him again.

"Let me go."

He shakes his head.

You can see the fear and the pain in his eyes, the sadness; as though he wasn't the one that got him into this situation in the first place. Your heart still hurts.

"Please," he whispers, "I know I fucked up, I know what I did was wrong, I should have told you, I should have left her before we-"

"Stop," you sigh, "I don't wanna hear it."

"I'm just, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did."

His eyes are filled with tears and yours are too.

"Last night you told me that you have feelings for me-"

"I do," he says, squeezing your arms.

"How long have you known then?"

"For some time now, before we left California."

You nod, sniffling, you look down and close your eyes.

"See, I don't believe a word you're saying, Eddie. If you did have feelings for me, you would have left her- I'm not saying that you should have done that, I don't want to be a fucking home wrecker but a good person would have been honest about their feelings and leave their partner before becoming a fucking cheater," you pause as you take a deep breath and look back into his sad eyes, "you didn't tell her anything, you didn't tell me anything. You don't have feelings for me, you needed me to keep yourself satisfied and now that I know the truth, you do everything to make me believe you because you're scared."

You push him away from you, "you're scared that I'll leave the band because you know, you'd be nothing without me."

"No, please, y/n," he sighs in defeat, "that's not true, I don't even care about that, I care about you, about us."

"There is no us, there never was and there never will be," you say, staring at him through your blurry vision, "I'll stay for the rest of the tour but the moment it's over, the moment we're back in LA, I'm out and I never want to see you again after this, Eddie."

He starts crying and so do you.

"No," he whispers.

The look in his eyes and pain in his voice destroys you, it leaves a hole in your heart.

Your eyes are filled with betrayal and heartbreak.

His eyes are filled with pain, fear and heartbreak too.

Now you are nothing but two broken people.

And this is only the beginning of all the pain that is about to follow.

-

Taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson @littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @cry-for-u @mysticmunson @eddielives1986 @1paire2vans @poisonedluv @sherrylyn628 @aysheashea @kaitebugg03 @lma1986 @aftermidnightwriting @miarosso @novelnovella @magenta-moon @strawberries-n-lavender @bibieddiesgf @michaelfuckinglangdon @tlclick73 @hazydespair @veravee-blog @lfaewrites @saayanaaa @madaboutjoe @papichulo120627 @emma77645 @joantje @eddiiiieeee @harringtonfan4 @kukisthings @unfocused81 @pwinglez1 @a-dreamy-sagittarius @riddlesinthenight @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things angst

[visualbutterflysworld]

Forgive me? | Vhackerr

When reader and Vinnie get into a bad argument things seem to take a turn for the worse when vinnie says something he shouldn’t. Could this be the end or could this just become the beginning of a true relationship?

I low key had a dream about this type of scenario like years ago and randomly thought of it so :P also probably sloppy writing

“That’s so fucking stupid!” Vinnie screams at me. Vinnie and I had been dating for about 5 months now. We usually don’t fight. I mean not like this. We were fighting about us and what we were. If I said me and him were just friends he’d flip but if I’d ask to post about us he’d deflect.

“It’s not! You should understand about how I feel! I just want the world to know about us! That’s it!” I scream. “Yeah, because you want your fifteen minutes of fame! Such a fucking leach like everyone else!” Vinnie yelled back. I stand there with disbelief. He for real just said that.

Vinnie huffs before he realizes what he has said. “Y/n-” “No, fuck you, Vincent! You think I’m with you because you’re some fucking celebrity?! I’m with you because I love you! Because I love you more than I love myself! More than life itself! I was willing to wait till you were ready but I’m sick of waiting! I’m sick of feeling like I’m some fucking monster that you have to keep hidden from the world but, you know what, since you think that poorly on my character then we shouldn’t let the world know! We shouldn’t let the world know that we had any sorta of connection because we’re fucking done!” I scream at him. I quickly grab the rest of my stuff before heading towards the door.

“I’ll have somebody come get the rest of my shit. Please fuck off you entitled dick!” Is the last thing I shout before slamming the door. The rest is a blur. One minute I’m in the hallway of his building and next I’m sitting on my bathroom floor crying my heart out to my mom.

“Honey, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I’m sure right then and there he would’ve said I love you too.” My mother says as I sob quietly. I told that asshole I loved him. Can you believe that? I’m not sure I meant it but my heart is telling me I did. I told him we were over but, I don’t want it to be over. I get a notification from my phone.

Instagram

Vinnie Hacker has posted on their story

“Yeah, I got to go mom. I’ll talk to you later.” I said and quickly hang up. It takes all my will power not to click on it immediately but my hands seem to have a mind of its own. I click on his story.

My hand instantly goes to my mouth. He posted me. He called me his girl. That asshole. I hear my doorbell ring and I know who it is. I quickly get onto my feet and go to my door. I open it and there he is. My favorite flowers and food in hand. I look up at him and he seems like he can’t maintain eye contact but he does anyways.

“I’m so so so sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I called you that. That was wrong. Very wrong of me. I don’t assume that you’re with me because I’m well me. I know that. I’ve been known that..just I fucked up because that’s what I do. I fuck up anything good in my life because I’m afraid of being hurt. You’re too good for me and I honestly don’t deserve you but, I posted you on my story so now you’re like kinda force to be with me anyways. I mean I’ll grovel if you want but, fuck I can’t let you go! I’m sorry and I love you! I mean…I think I love you more than you love me but-”

“Vincent!”

He blinks for the first time in 3 minutes. “Yeah?” “You should probably come inside before my food gets cold.” I smile softly at him. He lights up instantly and quickly makes his way inside. He sets the flowers and food down before turning to me. “I’m really sorry! We can go slow! We can start over and pretend this fight never happened like now we’re officially dating or something!” I run up and hug him. “Vinnie, we’re okay.” I kiss him quickly and his face follows mine as I lean away. “I mean…you’re gonna have to do some major groveling if you want to be my boyfriend again but I think we’re still dating.”

He smirks, “that’s fine by me.”

This was so trash but I’m sick and wanted to post something so :P

#vincent hacker #vinnie hacker #vhackerr #bwwm couples #bwwmromance #oneshot #love #lovers #vinnie hacker x reader

[sarahsmi13s]

Mama's Don't Get Sick Days

whumptober day 18: fever / vomiting / warm soup

pairing: mickey 'fanboy' garcia x reader

characters: mickey garcia, wife!reader, genevieve garcia, jayda garcia, sebastian garcia

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, vomiting, mickey is a dad, parenting while sick, fever, neglecting health, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~ 2.1k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: when your a spouse and a parent, sometimes you forget that you can be taken care of as well

You sighed as you sat on the couch. Your head was pounding and your stomach was churning with the whole lot of nothing that was in it.

Running around all morning with three kids, two of them under the age of 5 and one of them was just learning how to walk, was an absolute nightmare with how you were feeling.

Mickey had woken you up with a forehead kiss before going off to work and then your 6 and 4 year old woke you up a little while later with Genevieve crying because she was gonna be late for school.

So, with a splitting headache and sinus pressure, you got her dressed and fed her breakfast before getting all of your kids in the car and taking her to school.

The rest of the day was a blur of chasing Jayda and keeping her occupied and keeping little Sebastian out of things and things out of his mouth. 

Jayda was 4 and pretty good at staying out of trouble, but she was still young and had an independent head on her shoulders – so asking for help was never really an option so you had to make sure she wasn’t climbing on things and getting stuck on the closet's top shelf.

Sebastian was 1 and just learning how to walk. So he was getting into anything he reached and if it was on the floor or the table it most likely was going in his mouth.

So, between keeping Jayda on the ground, Sebastian from eating something he shouldn’t, and you not puking every time you bent over or changed a diaper and going through tissues like you were watching the saddest scene 100 times, you were exhausted. 

But you had to stay awake even if those two were napping, because you had to pick up Gen from school on time.

“Mama?” Gen asked from her bar stool as you make her after school snack of Goldfish, and her dried mangos that you forgot to pack that morning, and turkey cheese rolls. 

You glanced over your shoulder, “What’s up Vieve?” “Are you feeling okay? You look like I feel when I’m feeling icky,” she said, sounding so sweet as she rested her head on the counter. “And I was almost late for school, you always have me up…” “I’m okay baby, just a little frazzled today,” you said before coughing into your arm.

Sniffling, you turned and put the paper plate in front of her, “I’m really sorry about this morning, I should’ve gotten up sooner.” Genevieve took a bite of her turkey cheese roll, “It’s okay I got to school on time.”

You gave her a gentle smile before kissing her head, “Did you have a good day?” She nodded, “I did, Jacie and I played…” You nodded along with her as she proceeded to tell you about her day, listening to her as you took some Cutie slices off of Jayda’s plate and Cheerios off of Sebastian’s tray.

At some point while she was talking you went to check her lunch box to see what she hadn’t eaten. 

But as you opened it you were hit with a pungent reminder of what she had for lunch. Tuna and crackers, something her grandmother introduced her to during the last visit.

The smell churned your stomach that last time and anything you managed to actually eat was crawling up your throat.

Covering your mouth, you managed to make it to the downstairs bathroom before falling to your knees and puking in the toilet.

You rested your head on your arm, groaning miserably as you flushed the toilet before regaining your bearings and standing up.

With your head pounding, you wash your hands and swish your mouthwash before going back to the kitchen.  “Hey, Jay, Vieve?” You said softly as you got Sebastian out of his high chair. “Yes Mama?” “I’m gonna go sit on the couch, Bash is gonna be in his playpen. Finish your snacks and then you can play okay?”

They both nodded before Genevieve stopped you with a hand on your arm as you walked by, “Are you not feeling well?” You sighed, “No, baby, I’m a little under the weather but don’t you worry, I’m gonna be okay.”

You gave her a gentle smile before going to the living room and putting Sebastian in his playpen. You sighed as you sat down. “Oh lordy… just a few more hours and he’ll be home and I can rest.” 

As you curl up under a blanket and move the trash can closer to the couch, you rest your cold hands on your face to try and relieve the pressure in your nose. 

You can make out Jayda and Genevieve arguing in the kitchen. “I can take the Sprite to Mama!” “Jay, you can’t reach them in the fridge! Get the crackers!” “I don’t wanna!”

“Girls! Please don’t yell,” you groaned a little from your spot on the couch. “Sorry Mama!”

You sighed and rubbed your head before you heard more loud noises coming from the kitchen and then a little, “Oopsie.”

“What happened?” 

“Jayda tried to get a can of Sprite and dropped them…” 

Taking a sharp inhale, you look up at the ceiling and let it out before looking at Sebastian, “I’ll be right back Bash. Mama has a mess to clean.” “No! I gots it, Mama! I’ll get a towel,” Jayda said as she ran to the laundry room.

“Okay,” you sighed, at this point it was useless to try and argue. You were tired, you could mop it up later.

“Here Mama, I got you some water,” Genevieve said softly as she brought you a cup. It was over flowing, and you were sure there was a trail of water behind her. But the thought was sweet. “Thank you baby.”

You sipped the water in your glass before sitting it down and leaning back.

“Mama! I brought you crackers!” Jayda shouted, running over with a sleeve of crackers. 

You smiled a little, “Thank you Jay.” You reached for them but she held out a hand, “No, I’ll open it!” “Jayda, don’t yell! Mama has a headache!” “Vieve, you’re yelling,” you said gently. “Sorry Mama.” 

You looked back to Jayda to see her struggling before ripping it open and spilling crackers on the carpet. “Oops…” She looked up at you and handed you what was left, “Here you go.” “Thank you hun.”

“Why don’t you both go play in your room, Gen. Daddy will be home soon and you can go outside.”

They nodded before running up the stairs. 

You sighed and held your head in your hands before sliding to the floor and picking up the crackers and throwing them away. 

But your position change made blood rush to your head and triggered your gag reflex. “Shit,” you muttered before gripping the edges of the trash can and just waiting for it. Apparently it was taking its time until you sat up because it all rushed up at once when you did.

Groaning into the trash can, you spat into it before getting up and going back into the bathroom to wash your mouth out again.

You came back into the living room to hear Sebastian crying. 

“Oh Bash, Mama left you alone didn’t she. I’m sorry,” you said, picking him up and shushing him gently. “Oh I know baby boy, I’m sorry.” 

It took you about 20 minutes of that before he fell asleep in your arms and you laid him down in his playpen. 

“There you go, baby.” You sighed and laid down on the couch. “Just an hour, and Mickey will be home…” You cuddled up with a blanket and turned the TV on, “Just need to relax for a little bit.”

Mickey smiled as he walked in, “Hey, guess who’s home?” “Shhhh, Daddy, Mama’s sleeping,” Genevieve hissed from her spot on the carpet. 

“Oh,” he winced. “Sorry sorry.” 

He put his bag down gently before walking in, seeing tissues on nearly every surface from where you had blown your nose while you chased kids around the house. And then when he got to the living room he noticed the trash can next to the couch.

The girls were coloring in the living room, having come down to watch TV just before Mickey got home, and Sebastian was still napping.

He sighed and went over to you, glancing to see the vomit in the trash can. He knelt down, feeling the saltines break under his weight. 

“Hey, baby?” Mickey gently shook your shoulder, putting the inside of his wrist to your forehead, “Shit… you’re burning up.” He patted your face, “Hey honey.” 

You groaned a little as your eyes fluttered open, “Hey, Mick…”

“How long have you been like this?” 

“What do you mean?” 

He arched his brow, “Um, you’re cuddled up on the couch burning up and sweating like I do on the tarmac? Honey, have you felt icky all day?” He censored himself, remembering little ears were in ear shot. 

“I um,” you said sniffling as you sat up. Mickey watched you close your eyes and groan as you steadied yourself and he frowned. “Sweetheart…” “I’m okay Mick, just a little-” 

Your sentence got interrupted by a sudden rush of sick. “Trash can…” Mickey didn’t even question it and held the trash can up, holding your hair back with his free hand.

“I got you baby, I got ya.” 

“Daddy? Is Mama okay?” Jayda asked, a little worry in her voice. “Yeah, Mama’s gonna be okay. She’s just not feeling well, but she’s okay.” Jayda nodded and quietly went back to coloring. 

Once you’re done throwing up, Mickey helps you stand. “Girls, Mama and I will be right back, be good okay?” “Yes Daddy,” they both said as they continued to color.

Mickey helped you to the bathroom and sat you on the closed toilet as he looked for the thermometer. “Have you felt bad all day?” You opened your mouth but he spoke again. “And don’t lie to me.”

You sighed and nodded as he held the thermometer up and put it in your mouth.

“You’ve felt shitty all day?” You nodded again as the thermometer beeped and he took it out to look at it. “101.3, fuck, Honey. Why didn’t you call me? I would have come home. Mav would under-”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to take you away from work.” “Screw work, you’re sick and you took care of three kids by yourself. Honey, you’re exhausted and you won’t get better if you don’t let yourself rest.”

You shook your head before groaning a little at the headache the action gave you, “Miguel, you can’t-” You blinked as you stopped mid sentence, your lips trembling as you felt sick again. Covering your mouth, you moved to the floor and lifted the lid to throw up in the toilet.

Mickey frowned, feeling awful for not being here today and leaving you to deal with the kids while you miserable. He squatted down and grabbed a ponytail holder, tying your hair back for you, “I’m calling Cyclone and Mav, I’m not going in tomorrow so I can take care of you and the kids.”

“I can’t ask you to do that… You love your job.”

He looked up at you, almost angry, “Not as much as I love you. And you’re not asking, that’s the reason I’m telling you that I’m not going in.”

You stayed quiet and just shook your head, trying not to get sick again, “I need to make dinner…” He shook his head right back, “You’re not serious, you’re actively trying not to throw up again. Y/N, you need to go lay down with a cold rag on your head. I’ll fix dinner for me and the kids and you get soup.”

You perked up a little, sitting up and looking at him, “Your abuela’s soup?” 

He smiled and cupped your cheek, “If that’s what you want then that’s what I’ll make. But only if you take a break and let me baby you until you're better.” “But the kids-” “What did I say?” 

You sighed, “Okay, okay fine.” 

“Alright now, let’s get you on the couch and I will get any mess left by our girls.”

You nodded and let him take you back to the couch before he got you a cool, damp rag.

“There you go Honey,” he said, laying it across your forehead. “Thank you Mickey. I love you.” “I love you too.” 

You smiled at him, “Go start dinner so I can have abuela’s soup, go go.” He chuckled, “Alright, alright.” He kissed the top of your head before going to the kitchen.

“Hey! Who spilled Sprite all over the floor?”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

#vinny's whumptober #vinny's rainy day records #ailesswhumptober2023 #whumptober 2023 #whumptober #whumptober day 18 #top gun maverick #top gun #mickey fanboy garcia imagine #mickey fanboy garcia x reader #mickey fanboy garcia #mickey garcia #whump #angst #tw: vomit #sarahsmi13s

[damiansgoodgirll]

imagine being jey uso girlfriend and finding out you’re pregnant, how would he react?

this is so cute!

are you pregnant?

you’ve been sick for over a week but you couldn’t understand what was wrong with you. it started as a simple stomach ache but from day to day it got worse, especially in the morning.

you woke up nauseous and even if you were hungry you couldn’t eat anything, even the smell of food made you sick.

one morning you texted your best friend telling her that you had to cancel breakfast with her because you kept feeling sick. of course she understood but something started growing inside of her mind and that’s how you found yourself being stuck in your home with your best friend at 9 am.

“i got something for you” she said making her self comfortable on the couch. you were lucky jey was training otherwise he would have scolded her for the lack of good manners.

“what did you get?” you asked her before she handed you the package.

“open and you’ll see” she smiled.

you were speechless when you saw the pregnancy test in the little box.

“why did you get me a pregnancy test?”

“because i’m pretty sure you’re pregnant…the morning sickness, the nausea? c’mon, connect the dots, plus you told me your period is late this month…” she said and everything that came out from her mouth started making sense.

“oh fuck…”

“okay before you panic you better take the test…go girl, i’ll be waiting for you!” she gave you a warm smile before you went to the bathroom.

you did everything you had to in order to take the test and now you waiting, sat on the cold marble floor of your bathroom.

positive

you were fucked.

your best friend knocked on your door when she saw you wouldn’t come out.

“honey? are you okay?” she asked a bit worried.

“can you come in please?”

when she saw you sat on the floor she immediately joined you, probably knowing the answer to the test.

“how am i going to tell jey?” you asked her “we’ve never talked about kids…i’m not even sure if he wants to have kids, you know with everything that’s going on with his work” you started panicking.

“just tell him in the most rational way, like two adults. no surprises and no video for tiktok” she joked “but seriously, just be you…”

“okay…”

“and whatever happens you know i’ll always be here for you” your best friend said. you thanked her and walked her to the door. it was only you and your thoughts now.

you were impatiently waiting for jey to come back home from training and after lunch time he came back home.

“hey babe” he greeted you with his big smile and wrapped you in a big hug.

“hi…” you smiled but he immediately knew something was off.

“is everything okay love?” he asked.

“can we talk?” you asked without answering his question.

“sure…” he got worried, you never acted like this.

once you were both on the couch you weren’t sure how you were going to tell him that you were pregnant.

“okay so…there’s something i need to tell you but i don’t know how you’re going to react so…” you started saying.

“baby are you okay? are you hurt? did something happened?” he immediately got worried.

“i’m not hurt i promise but something definitely happened…jey give me your hands” you said and brought his hands into your smaller ones “there’s a thing…we’ve never really talked about it but it happened” you whispered the last part while his eyes were focused on your face “i’m pregnant” you said, the bomb was out.

“you - what?” he was shocked.

“i’m pregnant jey…”

“this means? it’s mine right? i mean of course it is but - we’re having a baby?” he was thrilled. you thought he was going to be mad or something because in this past year of relationship you’ve never discussed on starting a family so his reaction surprised you.

“yes baby, we’re gonna be parents…” your eyes full of tears of joy when you saw his face. he was crying and looking at your belly, already thinking about the life inside of you.

“i can’t believe we’re gonna be parents, this is the best thing ever” he said touching your belly “i know you’re the size of a popcorn right now but i want you to know that you’re already so loved, mom and dad can’t wait to meet you love” he talked to your belly and that made you cry harder.

of course your baby was going to be loved, jey was the best man you could have by your side and now thinking about the fact that he was going to be the father of your baby made you feel complete, you had the perfect man to grow a family with.

#wwe #wwe fan #wwe smackdown #wwe fanfiction #wwe x you #wwe raw #wwe roman reigns #wwe reader #wwe imagine #wwe imagines #wwe x reader #wwe x oc #wwe bloodline #jimmy uso #jimmy uso imagine #jimmy uso one shot #jimmy uso x reader #jey and jimmy #jey uso #jey uso x reader #jey uso imagine #jey uso one shot #jey uso fluff #jey uso angst #jey uso imagines #roman reigns #roman reigns x reader #the bloodline #bloodline x reader

[sjhhemmings]

Surprise?

Connor Rhodes x fem!reader

a/n: continuing with my Connor kick. just something for the holiday spirit yk 😉. yay babies!!

warnings: fluffy, pregnancy, established relationship, swearing

“Baby? You okay?” Connor asks waking you up from your nap on your bathroom floor.

Shit. What time was it? No way Connor was already off his night shift.

“Hi! yes, i’m perfectly fine.” You say hastily and tired with an unconvincing smile. You were sick. You’ve been puking since early morning, unable to stay away from the toilet for 5 minutes. Ever since last night everything you ate came right back up. You were pretty sure you had food poisoning due to the take out Chinese you had, but you weren’t going to make any assumptions until you went to the clinic today.

“Okay…what are you doing then?” He asks with a furrowed brow now kneeling next to you brushing some hairs away from your face.

Sighing you decide to just tell him the truth. You hated telling Connor you were sick because he always treated you like you were one of his patients, but you couldn’t hide this from him.

“I’m sick.” You say starting to tear up. Why? You didn’t know, you just knew that you didn’t want to disappoint him.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay.” He says now sitting and pulling you to lay in his chest. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asks a little softer now.

“I-I just feel bad!” You say now sobbing into his chest making his heart hurt a little.

“Well, why?” He asks in the same soft tone brushing your hair with his hand. Completely confused also, you hated crying but you were now sobbing over being sick. Something must be wrong.

“B-because you just got off shift from the hospital, and last night I got take out Chinese that made me sick.” You manage to say through broken sobs which took him a few seconds to understand.

“You feel bad because I just got off work, and you had Chinese food last night?” He asks confused.

“Yes! But no!” Taking a deep breath you sit up to look Connor in the eye collecting your thoughts.

“I feel bad, because you just got off shift, and we might have to go back to the clinic because I’m pretty sure I have food poisoning from the food I had last night. I’ve just been so sick all morning.”

“Oh baby. Don’t feel bad, if you’re sick we can go to the clinic. It’s not like I’ll be working when I’m there. Here how about you take a shower, I’ll make you some toast and we can go to the doctor? Sound good?”

“Yes.” You say sniffling and standing up. Connor also stands giving you a hug and kiss on your forehead. You don’t know what you would do without him.

Once you got out of the shower you noticed you felt a lot better, but it’s better to go to the doctor and make sure everything is okay anyway.

You put on a pair of joggers and one of Connor’s sweatshirts that you basically drowned in but you couldn’t care less. Your whole body was achy, especially your boobs and you didn’t want a form fitting shirt.

“Ready to go?” Connor asks you once you’ve finished breakfast.

“Yeah, but I feel a lot better now. That shower really helped.” You say getting up from your spot and yawning.

“That’s good. Let’s just go to the clinic anyway and make sure everything is okay.”

Once you got to the hospital you immediately started to feel uneasy again. Your stomach really started fluttering and you didn’t know why. Probably just cramps signaling your period is on its way again. Great.

“Good news Y/N, you don’t have the flu or any other virus for that matter. Your blood also came back clean so It could just be a mild case of food poisoning or a 24 hour bug, either way you should be good to go. I also saw that you don’t have a flu shot on file for this year yet so would you want to get that out of the way while you’re here too?” Your doctor asks.

“Yes that’s fine.” You say earning a look from Connor. He’s always bugging you to stay up to date with those things.

“Okay, the nurse will be in shortly to administer the shot. Also do you want to start scheduling your O.B. appointments? I know it’s early but It’s better to be on the schedule with those things instead of coming around last minute.” She asks catching both you and Connor completely off guard.

“O.B. appointments?” You both say in unison.

“Yes. Do you have a preferred Obstetrician?” She asks only making you furrow your brow harder.

“Um, no? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You asked now earning a confused look from her.

“Well I suppose if you guys are planning on using a midwife that’s fine too, but it’s highly recommended that you go to monthly check-ups while you’re pregnant to ensure the baby’s safety. Connor your’re a doctor you should know this.” The doctor says chuckling slightly to herself, but her smile quickly fading when she realizes both of you guys still aren’t catching on.

“The baby…?” You mutter quietly to yourself afraid to look a Connor for his reaction, which is him just standing there white as a ghost.

“Y/n, you do know you’re pregnant right?” She finally asks now making you look at Connor,

“Pregnant?” You say finally looking at him.

Connor runs a hand through his hair as he finally takes a few steps to stand next to you.

“We’re having a baby?” He asks quietly grabbing your hand, then looking at the doctor.

“We’re having a baby?” He asks louder now, unsure if he believes it or not.

“Um, yes. You are. I’m surprised you guys don’t know, Y/N, by your blood work it shows you’re about 12-14 weeks along.” She says a little shocked.

This makes you look at Connor absolutely shocked. To which he is giving you the same face.

“I’ll give you guys some privacy, would you like me to order an ultrasound?” She asks getting no response until Connor finally tears his eyes away from you and nods almost frantically at her.

“Yes. Yes please.” He says as she shuts the door.

Slowly standing up, you walk away from Connor to stand in the middle room putting space between you guys before you turn to him again.

“A baby?” You ask still unsure on whether you believe it or not.

Of course you would want a child with him. You guys were married for Christ’s sake, but you just assumed it was never in the cards for you guys.

Connor closes the space between you guys, cupping your face his in his hands forcing you to look at him.

“What are you feeling right now?” He asks slightly teary eyed, completely unaware if you want this or not. He thought ever since you accepted it wasn’t going to happen, that you might not want this anymore. That you might not want this baby.

“I-I’m shocked.” You whisper feeling like you just got all the air knocked out of you.

“I’m scared.” You finally admit meeting his eyes again.

“Hey, there’s no reason to be scared. We’re in this together. Whatever you want to do, i’m there.” He says reassuringly.

“Do you think I don’t want this?” You ask slightly worried.

“I think we’re both in shock right now. I don’t know what to think…”He admits pursing his lips a little. “What do you want?” He finally asks a little bit afraid of the answer.

“I want a baby.” You finally admit chuckling a little bit. “I want a family. I want a family with you. I want to have mini you’s and me’s running around…I want this.” You say more confidently chuckling a little at Connor’s smile.

“We’re having a baby!” He says excitedly kissing you.

A little while later the doctor comes back with the ultrasound. Your eyes start to swell with tears as you actually heard the heartbeat. It all just became so much more real. You look over to Connor who is so happy. There is no other way to describe the sparkle in his eye. How in love with you he is, and how in love with this baby he already is. You squeeze his hand as you look over to the machine again when your face drops.

Maybe the downside of being a nurse is that you can read an ultrasound machine, because the second you see the picture of your baby you turn to look back at Connor who is making the same face.

“I know it’s a little early, but I can somewhat make out the gender. Would you guys like to know?” You doctor asks looking over at you.

“We know.” You say smiling a little at Connor whose face is almost unreadable.

Connor doesn’t miss a beat before he kisses you more passionately than he ever has before. There was fire behind his lips and that sparked something within you. It’s so real. God you guys are so in love. You cannot wait to bring a baby into this world with him. Giggling against his lips you pull away and rest your foreheads against each other.

You wipe a tear from his eye before you finally whisper, “Its a boy.”

#one chicago #chicago med x reader #connor rhodes one shot #connor rhodes chicago med #connor rhodes x reader #connor rhodes fanfic #connor rhodes #chicago med one shot #chicago med #chicago med fanfiction #pregnancy #it’s a boy #surprise #established relationship

[paeries]

Sick of You — h.s.

[when a boyfriend of two years breaks it off and offers a new arrangement, of course you’ll take it up. this is your prime chance to prove him wrong. and Harry can’t bear to watch it]

word count; 9k

pairing; harry x reader

cw; friends to lovers au, smut, angst, im just saying my heart hurts for him

pov; y/n, but third person

[part two is here, part three is here, thank you for all the patience. im really excited for you guys xx]

She laid in her bed, blankets completely surrounding her as she tried to pay attention to the movie she had put on. She had everything she needed to enjoy her time by herself, really she did. But she felt like someone was stepping on her chest. Her heart felt like it had just been emptied out into the insides of her body. Just empty, throbbing, screaming. She was sure she’d gone through about three movies now, frantically searching for something, anything else to think about. She pulled her blanket up a bit further and glanced at her phone again. 1:24am. Had I really been staring at the wall for an hour and a half straight?

     She groaned and sunk deeper into the bed, pulling the pillow around her. I don’t even know what I was waiting for? Her alarm? The sun? Her eyelids starting to shut on their own? A text, you idiot. Remember? You’re hoping his date went shitty and she got too drunk and puked all over him. You were expecting him to be disappointed, send a message and ask for you to make up for it if he came over.  She grumbled, feeling whatever was going on in her chest expand and she felt her eyes prick with wetness. Y/N tried to shake her head, bury her fists into her eye sockets and beg the tears to go away. Tried to tell her brain, I’m fine, I’ll be just fine in the morning. I just needed some sleep. ”I need more wine.” She grumbled to herself, grabbing the bottle and tipping it upside down to swallow every drop of the last gulp. 

 

               At least you’re good for something. 

  

      That was what did it. That’s what sent her springing up off the bed and running to the bathroom to lurch over the toilet and empty her guts out. Over and over, till her body was too weak to hurl enough of anything, really, up and out of there. 

     He’s having a great time. He won’t need you much longer. It’s been over and you’re still a love sick puppy, fawning over his every move and hoping he miraculously realises that he made a mistake. That he didn’t mean any of what he said. 

     Y/N hung her head, defeated. Laying her forehead against the rim of the toilet, she sniffled and shook her head. “I should’ve pressed harder. I should’ve fought him a bit more.”

    You should’ve erased his number and ignored that text. You knew he didn’t want you anymore, just the pleasure you brought him. 

     She let out a cry, finally. Beating her fists off the porcelain tiles, she shouted as she cried. Letting her body crumple on the floor, she curled up, clutching her chest as she did, and cried and cried. 

She woke up the next morning, her head pounding, freezing from the coolness of the tiles. Had I really fallen asleep on the floor? She pulled herself up, took a pitiful look at her horrific appearance and shuddered.  She looked wrecked.

She pinched her brows together with one hand and reached over to turn the shower on, convincing herself that if she can at least manage to look better than she felt, maybe she could shake this nagging, nasty, haunting feeling. 

    About midway through her shower, she could hear someone moving about her apartment. Quickly finishing up but careful to leave the water on, just in case it was a burglar, or a murderer. She peered around the corner and felt as if last night was a dream. Because there he was, bopping around at 8 in the morning with coffees and a brown paper bag, as if he owned the place. “Excuse me?” She huffed out, blinking at him in disbelief. 

      Wonder what he’d think if he knew you’d spent the night on the bathroom floor ill, think he’d be so nonchalant? 

      She shook her head and stepped back to turn the shower off, wrapping a towel around her body before ducking into the room to dress herself. “You’re excused.” He mumbled to himself, snickering as he did so. As if he was so funny. “I brought some breakfast. You don’t take care of yourself.” He nodded to the state of her apartment, setting the to-go cups down on the kitchen table and tossed the paper bag next to them. “So, get dressed. Or don’t. Might save me the time.” He smirked. What the fuck does he know, ‘You don’t take care of yourself.’ What would he know about any of it? 

At least you’re good for something. 

     Her stomach lurched, and she managed to swallow whatever urge to run back to the bathroom and hide. She walked out of the room, pulling a t-shirt on and a pair of mens briefs with socks, wrapping her hair in a towelled turban to meet him in the kitchen. “What are you doing here?” Y/N snipped, taking the coffee and finding her seat. “Were you not listening?” He asked, leaning with his back  against the doorway. She stayed quiet, trying her best not to make his gaze before daring to open her mouth again, “How’d your date go?” She managed out before taking a good sip. 

     Mark’s eyes narrowed a bit, suspiciously at her. Because how did she know?  “It was great. She was fun.” He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. “Did you really car-“ “Not really.” She interjected, “Just small talk. Since you didn’t answer my original question.” He sighed, swallowing before clearing his throat and straightening up. ''Well, if you want the truth-” He started and then paused, almost as if he was begging her to not let him finish. “She stayed the night..” He tested, watching her closely. She could feel his eyes burning holes into her shoulder blades. “And I thought I’d pop out and grab us something quick to eat while she slept but-” She coughed hoarsely and turned to look at him over her shoulder. “She was gone when you got back.” She finished, pulling the towel out of her hair and setting it on the back of a chair.

     Good. That’s what you get. 

    “Her coffee is good.” She admitted while shaking her head feeling nothing but pity for herself as she stood up to find a hairbrush. “I actually don’t know her order, I ordered what I thought you would.” He admitted, stepping across to open the paper bag to reveal two muffins as she made her way back to the kitchen while brushing her wet hair. “There’s a blueberry cobbler style and a blackberry cheesecake style. Thought it’s interesting enough to try.” He had been hoping that would take off the heat from the embarrassment of his good gesture to a one night stand. To someone else. “I’ve never heard of any muffin cheesecake.” She muttered, hesitantly reaching over to grab the blackberry speckled looking muffin. 

     Why am I eating a breakfast so hopefully meant for someone else who must have blown his mind when I can tell him to leave?

     “D’you get drunk last night?” Mark asked, pulling her from her thoughts and sending her into a frantic search for an explanation of the four wine bottles that laid on the floor. “Had some girlfriends over, s’all.” She said quickly, picking at the muffin in front of her. “Four bottles of wine?” He retorted, tutting a little bit. “Surprised they aren’t still strewn all over the floor. S’8:41 in the morning..” He added, seemingly having no clue it was all her. And granted it wasn’t four full bottles… It was two full ones and two half drank. “Yeah, well, they stopped drinking before I did- Don’t you have somewhere better to be?” She added in quickly, grabbing the coffee and looked directly at him. Her jaw clenched tightly as she watched his body uncomfortably shift where he stood. “Guess I could find something..” He said after a decently long pause, “Y’welcome, by the way-“ He chuckled, stepping out the door before she could shout back, “Hey,  fuck you!”  The door shutting right afterwards. She whimpered slightly, gritting her teeth together as she stared at the picked apart muffins that he left. For someone else. She threw the coffee into the sink and turned around, making a beeline for her phone and typing out, 

     “Come over.” Sent, Delivered. Read 8:49am

  Within twenty minutes or so, the front door was flung open and with four long strides, she had been tossed over his shoulder and carried into the bedroom.

Y/N had just enough time to change her briefs into a sweeter cotton thong with a strawberry embroidered at the top in front.  “Wait! Wait!” She laughed out, “You have to shut the front door!” She shrieked, her body now tossed to the bed, bouncing as she landed.

Watching him jog back to shut the door, she thought about the differences between the two men. Harry didn’t make the room feel as though the oxygen was being sucked up, like Mark did. She couldn’t breathe when he was around lately. Harry was more comfortable, and she'd be lying if she were to say she didn’t find herself wishing to have never met Mark to avoid this whole mess. She really wished it was Harry that gave her difficulty to breathe.

“Tha’ any better?” He asked, hands waiting at the door handle of her bedroom for her confirmation. “Much.” She laughed, rolling her eyes and sat up straight in her bed waiting to receive him again. 

He shut the door and came over to the bed, bringing his hand up to tuck a stray hair up and behind the curve of her ear. “Tickles.” She mumbled, hooking her fingers into the loops of his jeans. “Y’gonna help me or what?” Y/N huffed, tilting her head to the side as she challenged him. He raised a brow and lifted his hand to place at her chest to push her back against the bed. “Yeh, I’ll help y’” He mumbled, pushing her shirt up her ribcage, peppering kisses here and there.

She stared up at the ceiling while bringing her hand to the back of his head, aimlessly swiping her thumb across the short hair that laid at the nape of his neck. She couldn’t stop thinking about Mark and Harry, Harry and Mark… Harry… “Harry…” She mumbled, squirming in her place on the bed. Harry groaned, digging his hips into the mattress before slowly lifting his head, eyebrows furrowed with concern once he saw her expression. “Y’okay?” He asked, sitting up a bit. No matter how turned on he could get, her wavering voice brought him back to earth. “S’the matter?”

She swallowed and shook her head, “N-nothing, I- I just,” Her voice trailing off as tears began to prick at her eyes again. Harry reached up and cupped her cheek, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead. “S’alright, we’ll get y’straightened out.” He muttered with distaste in his tone of voice.

     She sat up to pull her shirt off, shivering as she felt his hands sneak up to touch a nipple, nipping at the skin under her belly button. “H-'' She warned, giggling breathlessly, “Y’know that’s ticklish.” He gave a quiet hum and nodded, “Couldn't help m’self. It’s just too easy, pet.”

The coyness in his voice sparked an annoyance she couldn’t place. It held the same sarcastic, ‘i know it all’ tinge as Mark’s did when he was strolling about her kitchen.  She huffed, propping herself up on her elbows. “Do I have to do this myself?” She sniped, “Could get m’self off without all this fuss much faster y’know?” Harry's gentle eyes quickly hardened as he now glared at her, bringing his hand up and around her throat, laying her back down against the bed. Her breath hitched in her throat as he applied some pressure, almost immediately regretting her choice of action. “Let’s be clear, shall we? Nothing that you do, or anyone else for that matter, to your body,” He trailed off, his tongue darting out over his lips as he looked at the girl's smaller frame underneath him. “Could ever, ever, amount to what I can do.” He murmured into her ear, releasing his grip around her throat before sponging kisses down her neck. “Wouldn’t you agree?” He hummed, taking a more sensitive part of her neck gently between his teeth to earn a moan from her lips.

 He hadn’t meant to get so possessive, but he was tired of not getting the recognition he felt he deserves. There was no way Mark had ever taken the time to know her body in the way he has. 

She nodded quickly, rolling her hips up to meet his, “Yes." She breathed out, moving a hand into his hair to tug at. She was getting impatient, the slow side of him wasn’t what she needed. She needed him deep, hard and quick.

“Harry, please” She whined out, groaning in frustration as he pinned her hips back to the bed. He chuckled against her, letting his teeth graze over her nipple before lifting his head. “S’the matter, Y/N?” He mused, raising his brows in mock sympathy, trailing a hand down to duck into the front of her panties. “I’ve had y’wetter than this before, m’sure of it.” He muttered to himself, sliding his fingers through her folds before circling once around her clit, causing her to gasp and lift her hips up at the sudden contact. “No! M’ready, Harry, please.” She begged, squeezing her eyes shut from the anticipation. “Not quite, pet- Open your eyes.” He ordered, taking them both by surprise. He had been too focused on the sounds his fingers were making as they slid through her to notice her eyes closing. He liked to know she saw that it was him, not Mark. All him. 

Y/N whined again and lifted her head, wriggling her hips. “Fuck, H. Please?” She begged again, bringing her hand up to cup his leaking cock through his boxers. His hips spluttered forward and he swore under his breath before swiftly changing his position on the bed to get between her legs to tug her panties off. 

Peeking up from where he lies to catch her line of sight, Harry stuck his tongue out slowly towards her clit, stopping just before he made contact. With pupils dilated, a pout graced across her face and cheeks flushed, Harry could have come right then if he hadn’t been so driven to making his point clear. Kissing at her thigh once, he flattened his tongue out and rolled her clit beneath it slowly. Far too languid for Y/N because now she can’t even lean into his mouth, but has to take the brush and nip of his teeth against her until he granted enough mercy to find her clit again and move a little faster.

Harry hears her begin to pant, quick and shallow, and the sighs and whimpers that are begging for him to ‘Please, fuck me, Harry' He smiled, tightening his grip around her hips, “M’getting there, sweetheart. Want you drenched by the time m’finished.” He reasons, cock twitching when she lets out a desperate groan. Harry ignored the small and desperate cries of frustration, drawing back to watch her wriggle and whine for his touch. He hummed, bringing his middle finger closer to slip into her cunt and felt his lips spreading into a grin at the moans that erupted from her chest as he found her g-spot. Before long, he found himself biting down harshly on his lip as he watched his finger dip in and out so easily that he added another, stretching her out a little more. He loved how messy she could get for him in hardly any time at all. “Relax.” She heard him say calmly, though his mind is a frantic mess of filthy thoughts about how he planned to fuck her anyway she’d let him. Desperate for her to realise who she was to him. He’d never tire of hearing her sweet moans, the way she begged for him to touch her. And every time he found out she went back to him, he would swear to himself, he’d find a way to make her forget about him. He wanted to be unforgettable, like it seemed that Mark was. Who, really didn't have the most fun hobbies, or good humour, didn't mesh well with the group; he wasn't even that intelligent in his opinion. So he couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out what was soo special about him. They’ve all hung out, and Harry tried. He really tried to pinpoint what was so incredible about him in her mind. He’d have to top him somehow, something that reminded her of him had to creep into her thoughts at night. He wanted her as restless as he was without her at night. He wanted her to figure out that he was her safe place. 

When she went quiet, his stomach burned hot enough to pull him out of his thoughts, he knew she was close. He let out a groan, burying his face into her thigh to muffle most of it before turning back to lull her clit back around his tongue. Sucking on it in sharp little movements, he reaffirmed his left arms grip around her thigh to keep her in place. “Harry!” She gasped out, as he pulled his fingers out so he could wrap his hand around his weeping cock, aching for any form of attention and hissed against her when he felt it. He was leaking and it was filthy, so filthy and Harry couldn't stop himself from gruffly nipping at her clit. “Come for me, pet.” He mumbled as he moved his hand from around his cock to preserve himself, moans muffled against her and even more so when her thighs closed around his head and she pressed up into his mouth. She’s coming and the thought of it has Harry rolling his hips into the mattress harder. 

“Fuck sake-” He growled, pushing himself upright to hook his arms under her legs to pull her closer. He took a long look at her body, returning a hand to his angry red cock to try and curb his lust a while longer. He wasn’t done teasing her. “It made her feel important, it’s like extra attention,” she told him one night. 

“Proper mess down here, babe.” He tutted, backing up as her hips lifted to meet his. “Now, now, now, y’still comin down, aren’t you? S’quite sensitive, innit” He mused, tapping the head of his cock against her swollen clit. She gasped, lifting her hips up again. “Seeee?” He hummed, mocking her. “Please, Harry. M’empty.” She whined, and that was it. “Okay, ‘lright, she wants filled.” He hummed as he loomed over her, tucking his head against hers while he lined up, gently nudging past her folds to slip in. “Jesus Chr-” He groaned, his hand finding its way into her hair to tug. “Fucked right in, didn’t I?” He mumbled, sliding his hand to cradle her neck by the hairline, which was irritatingly soft, as he pulled out slowly and tried his best to ignore her protests; “I was full!” She’d gasp out, infuriated that he had taken it away just as quickly. “Fuck sake, doll. Patience.” He rasp out as he pushed right back into the wet heat. “Y’hear that, baby? S’how wet I’ll get you everytime, isn’t it?.” He mused, straightening up and tugged her body up higher to meet his hips, allowing himself to slide just a bit deeper. Deep enough to coax another broken gasp from her mouth. “Tell me how good this is.” He breathed out, before delivering some quick thrusts, his hips pistoning into her. A filthy sloshing sound filled the air from how wet she was. “Fuck!” She gasped out, arching her back up. “Oh my god, Harry. S’good, s’deep, j-just what I wanted.” She whimpered, squeaking as he bottomed out at her admission. She whined in confusion, before choking on a breath when he rolled his hips, grinding into her cunt. The broken moan he finally let out as her walls fluttered around him, squeezing around his cock, could put a priest to shame. She always wrung out the most lewd noises from his body. “My God, you’ll be the death of me.” He groaned, “You feel so fucking good, Y/N, squeezin' me li' tha'.” He all but whimpered, leaning back to properly start fucking her, the way he knows has her seeing stars, her legs shaking, her breathing laboured. 

Louder, and louder she got, gripping onto his forearms with her nails dug in as deep as they could go, trying desperately to hold on in the position he had her in. His long body upright, hands holding her hips up high off the bed so he could make sure he hit his target each time. Her shaking legs wrapped around his, she was struggling under the pleasure. “S’a fuckin’ sight t’see, baby. You’re so bloody beautiful.” He said, taking her hand away from under his arm to bring it to his mouth, sponging kisses at her fingers and wrist. “Takin’ my cock so well.” He sighed, letting her hand go and lowered her hips back down before hovering over her shaking body, placing her thumb at the corner of her mouth. What he did not prepare for, was her tongue to slide out around it to bring into her mouth and suck at. Harry’s jaw dropped, his lips parted as his hips lost their rhythm for a few thrusts. “Look a’ tha’.” He gasped out, just as she let out another delicious moan, “Harry, m’close.” She slurred around his thumb, some drool running down his wrist. “Dirty lit’l minx, come f’me.” He growled, feeling her tighten completely around him. “Give it to me, ‘ve worked for it” He breathed, snapping his hips up harder as she cried out, rolling her hips messily to his just trying to ride it out. “Tha’s my good girl.” Harry cooed, doing his best to help her get the most of her orgasm before losing his self control entirely, burying himself to the hilt as he came. Falling forward on top of her, he felt the coiling in his belly unwind. He sighed, listening to her breathing soften and slow. “Proud of m’self for that one.” He laughed out. And he was, she was satiated, and he got to have a bit more of her for one more day.

     Harry's soft breath hit the top of her shoulder, his body on top of hers with the duvet cover strewn between his legs. Taking a deep breath, she felt most of the stress and anxiety of Mark's pop-in drift away. Shifting to find a comfortable spot against the bed while underneath the warmth of his body. “I don’t think I thank you enough.” She mumbled, tucking her forehead into the crook of his neck. “Think you thank me just fine.” He smirked, lifting up onto his elbows. “Up y’get, sweetheart.” He grumbled, pulling them both up, him standing to pull his boxers back on. “H, would you grab me a shirt from my second drawer down, please?”  She asked, the covers pulled up to her chest with one hand, the other running a hand through her messy hair.

She watched as he grabbed a shirt, unfolded it to see what it looked like in full before tossing it her way. “Like that one.” He snickered, climbing back into the bed. “Know y’don’t wanna talk about it. But…” He started, causing her to groan as she pulled the shirt over her head. “Oh christ,” She whined, laying back down and pulled the covers over her face. “C’mon, I never ever ask!” He laughed, tugging the covers to reveal her eyes which only earned him a grumble of disagreement. After a brief pause (during which she realised he wouldn't give in anytime soon), she rolled her eyes and hastily blurted out, “He went on a date last night, and in the morning, I was showering and he showed up, breakfast in hand. Tells me it was originally for the girl he went out with and fucked, only, come to find out she slipped out while he was at the shop,” She paused, drawing another breath but speaking a bit slower. Not particularly liking the way her tongue had formed around them. Like tasting metal. “aaand brought it to me instead.” She murmured, swallowing thickly, “Like it was a good thing.” Laying it all out in summary had her feeling more embarrassed by the second. Harry groaned, shaking his head. “Why’d’y’ put up with it? Why don’t you just- block his number?” His voice going a bit softer towards the end before he sighed, knowing exactly why.

She stayed quiet, looking back up to the ceiling. “Wouldn’t you? Put up with it?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She felt shame come over her, like a cloud across the sun. 

     Harry sighed again, rolling onto his back to look at the ceiling too. I do, put up with it. He thought, his eyes scanning the ceiling for a good answer. “Don’t think you’d have to, had he given you the chance to move on.” He muttered, almost angrily. “Wasn’t right of ‘im. T’break things off and then ask the next night for a quick fuck.” He huffed, propping himself up on his elbows again. 

     Y/N sighed and nodded, “I know..” A few minutes went by before she shook her head, desperate to change the subject. “Look, can we just watch something?” She mumbled, pulling the duvet up over her waist. “Yeah… yeah sure.” Harry said, reaching over for the remote to turn the tv on. “Found something that might be good the other night. Saved it to watch it with you.” He snickered, coaxing a smile out of her. “I can’t wait.” She hummed, turning to her side to curl up against him. His arm snaked around her waist, his head tilted to rest against hers and he took a deep breath. For the next two hours, they just laid there. I really should thank him more often, she thought.

      “Listen, not that I wouldn’t love to stay longer, I just promised m’mum I’d take her out for dinner.” He said once the movie was over, leaning over to kiss her forehead again. “Y’okay?” He asked again, and she smiled, propping herself up as well.

“Because I can manage another fifteen minutes before I need to shower, change and pick her up.” He added, his eyebrows straightening into a line to show the severity of what he was saying. “I’ll be available until about 4, we usually do a bit of catching up- probably bout an hour or so, y’know what- I’ll just text you.” He laughed. “Yeah, I’ll manage.” She hummed, tilting her head slightly to the side. “Call me, anytime. Mean it.” He said, standing to get himself dressed, Y/N standing as well to walk him out. 

“G’on.” She snickered, leaning up to kiss his cheek before he stepped out of the flat, shutting the door behind him. She sighed, reaching up hesitantly to lock the door, before taking another pitiful look at the picked apart muffin that still sat on that table. Mocking me. She scoffed before going back to her room to repeat the night prior. 

She’d always been used to being alone, just not lonely. She had friends, sure, and good friends at that. But they’ve all got so much going on, she couldn’t imagine bringing her little broken heart to the table and try to put it up there with Jodie’s, who’s unsure where she’s going to get the extra 5k to keep her dead mothers house from going to the bank. It just wasn’t right. 

     You’ve got all day, miss thing. Best find something to do with it. 

She glanced at the time again, and took a look around her apartment.  The bottles, the empty cigarette packs on any windowsill you look at, chinese takeout boxes, the dishes, the bottles. Groaning at the thought of doing all that, she let her body fall back into the chair in the living room. 

Pinching her brows together, she let out a frustrated sigh, “I see you, just let me gather herself.” She said to herself, and only when she moved her hand from her eyes did they land on a small little jar and its green contents on the coffee table. Perfect. Blunt time. 

 Once she got a small little blunt rolled up, she put some music on and sat on her bedroom windowsill, grabbing a lighter to take a drag. While making sure to blow it out the cracked open window, she peered down to the streets below. A cold breeze came across her nose, reminding her that the seasons changed once again. A colder fall meets eastern England with a ferocity, signalling a chilling winter to come. Couples walked through the streets to make their dinner reservations, or ‘first daters’ even, chatting as they window shop. She always loved watching the world around her operate.  Sighing yet again as she reminded herself that she was supposed to finish cleaning, she sat up, leaving the blunt on the ashtray a second to get to tidying the bed up. Smoking always puts her in a better mood. A nice distraction, she thought as she set the pillows and blankets back into place. She crept over to pick the blunt up and take another hit before pushing it into the ashtray to snub the cherry. “Christ, what time is it?” She said aloud, deciding to dig around for her nightstands clock that had been knocked to the ground. Finding it and setting it back in place, she was thankful that 6pm was here. She had gotten the apartment tidied, she was high as hell. There was no trace of anything Mark to be seen. Like he’d never been here so early. I wonder if he was sad. Upset that he’d put himself out there and assumed she’d stay for breakfast. She didn’t see how different it could be with hi- She cringed to herself and shook her head, trying to shake the train of thought away. She didn’t want to go back down the road, try to find out where exactly it went wrong. He left. He’s no different than the rest. And what’s worse, he takes advantage of the fact. He knows how you feel. 

The streets were alive and well, lit with streetlights, some storefront lighting, and car headlights. Daring a glance over at her liquor cabinet, she grabbed her phone and called some friends to get together for drinks in her newly cleaned apartment in order to carpool together to the bar.

Jodie arrived first, her best girl, Cade trailing just a bit behind her, “Daphne’s on the way, she said she had a last minute outfit change.” Jodie explained, leaning in for a kiss on the cheek as she handed over her gift of liquor for the night. “S’always vodka with you.” Y/N grinned, heading to the kitchen to get some mixers. 

“Harry’s out with his mum but he said he’d meet us there.” She nodded in acknowledgement to Cade who was reading what she assumed to be Harry’s response in the groupchat, bringing out cups and ice. Cade was fairly new to the group, but a welcomed one at that. They had lost Julie and Chris to a new move up country, which was a huge blow to their outings for a while. Cade filled the gap seamlessly, he was hysterical, dependable, not to mention outlandish. Cade had never been one to back down from a challenge, and seemed to be crushing heavily on Jodie for a while, so if by tonight they were to get a little more familiar with one another, Y/N wouldn't complain.

Daphne came trailing in not long after them, setting her coat in the closet before greeting us all. “So sorry, had it all figured out, but- you know, the lighting in the bar wouldn’t have worked the correct magic. Had to change.” She explained, beaming ear to ear as she made her way into the apartment, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor. Everyone knew that whatever Daphne put on, a burlap sack, aluminium foil, a fucking bedsheet, she looked gorgeous. She had a million dollar smile, a sense of humour, honey blonde hair, olive coloured skin and an incredible body. And if we’re being truthful, her and Harry would be the obvious match. Their physical appearances complimented the other so effortlessly. They’d even been caught in a drunken makeout once before, back when Harry first joined the group.  Nevertheless, Daphne was the secret weapon. The three of them together were like a wet dream turned nightmare. And though Y/N’s friendship with Daphne wasn’t as close as with Jodie, she still held a significant spot in her life. They’d all known each other since university, just kids. Daphne had an atrocious haircut and didn’t know how to dress her body to save her life. Jodie was so smart and shy, it wasn’t until Mike came around their senior year where she learned to assert herself and let loose. Y/N, herself, was just happy with her two girls. She never looked elsewhere. They’d go to parties and end up back at one of our dorms, trashed and giggly. What else was there? 

Looking at them together now, you’d never guess how reserved they used to be in their younger days.

By the time they ordered the Uber, they had all worked up a pretty nasty buzz which made it quite difficult to figure out where they had ended up leaving our phones, wallets, keys, etc. Poor Cade did his best to wrangle the girls together and keep track of all the belongings, but to no avail. He’d have to try again next time. “I saw yours in the bathroom, Jod.” Daphne giggled out, lifting up Y/N’s phone and frowning before handing it to her. “Why’s Harry texting you? Can he not make it?” She asked, a pout clear on her lips. 

“Uhhh, dunno- let’s see.” Y/N opened her phone to check the message, ‘Dropping mum off now. See you in 30. Xx’ she repeated out loud for her even though Daphne had already peered over her shoulder. “He texts you a lot.” She states, pursing her lips and opening them again before Jodie interrupted, “Got yours, Daph!” She shouts, grinning and Y/N has to send her a look of relief because she was not prepared to break Daphne’s drunk heart tonight. She had always had the suspicion she still liked him, and if the look on her face didn’t cement that, what would?

Y/N’s phone rang in the middle of her conversation about Cade’s poor choice of beer as the four sat at a booth, “M’gonna go get a real drink. Be right back.” She smiled, lifting the phone to her ear as she walked away. “Hello?” “What are you doing tonight?” His voice slid across the speaker like cashmere. Y/N swallowed thickly, pressing her finger to her ear to drown out the outside noise. “I’m busy.” She shouted over the music, then rolled her eyes. He had to have heard the music. He’s not stupid. 

“Y’don’t have to yell.” He laughed, “C’mon ditch it. We’re callin’ it a night, so… Come over.” He drawled out. Great, he’s drunk. “No, thank you.” Y/N hummed, having already snuck into the bathroom where it was a bit quieter. “And why not?” He huffed, and just from knowing him, she could tell that his jaw dropped, his fingers tapping against whatever was nearest. “Because,” She paused, fixing a few fly aways while looking at her reflection in the mirror.  “I’m having more fun here.” She giggled before hanging up, and dug into her purse to grab a comb she had brought. 

Her phone rings again, and she felt the satisfaction begin to creep its way into her. This must be what it feels like for him. She cleared her throat and picked up the drink she had set down on the sink. “Hello?” She sang, making sure to jostle her drink that was now more ice than liquid. “I need another drink, so, hurry-“ She added, smirking at herself in the mirror and wrapped her lips around the straw to suck the last bits of alcohol left. “Wh’dya’ mean you’re having more fun?!” He huffed, as if it was unimaginable to him. Y/N scoffed, topping up her lip colour before turning on her heel to go back out to the bar. “Just what I said.” She hummed, “I’m hanging up now,” She whispered before hearing a slew of small half-minded minor threats, asking her not to hang up, ‘wait, wait, wait!’, She ignored them all, giggling out a ‘good night’ before hanging up again and leaving the bathroom. Finding her way through to the bar and grabbed herself two more drinks before making it towards the back where her friends had sat.

Thankfully, Harry had got out of his date with his mum just in time to meet them at The Stumble. And she was semi-glad he did. Well, very glad. He helped in a lot of ways. And he was just nice in general to be around. Harry smiled at the sight of her, opening an arm to invite her back into the circle.

 “Daph’s just getting around to tellin’ us her big secret.” He hummed, his eyes lingering just a litttttllleee too long at her body. He couldn’t help it. And he did try. But his eyes just found their way to her every time. Good God, she looked amazing. A black half mesh/half satin dress that was somehow modest and managed to leave a bit to the imagination, some sort of strapped black heels that snaked their way up her legs, a softened reddish lipstick. Honestly, out of a dream. Once, of course, he realised her attention had been taken away by Daphne,(who (he thought) was getting around to telling everyone about her job’s promotion) he felt he could look at Y/N as long as he needed. He knew Mark wasn’t stupid. He’d figure out how special she was, and how truly stupid he was to have let her slip through his fingers. How fucking lucky he was- To have had her. Really have her. And sure, he had her too. As close as he could muster, he had her, for now. He answered her calls, day or night, 1am, 2am, 3am, cor. 3am was probably his favourite time. She was so sleepy, so hurt, she had just wanted company. And Harry liked to think she wanted his company. Just thinking about how he had thrown it away? Like, garbage? How fucking dumb he is to- Harry’s jaw clenched so hard it began to cramp, and the hand he didn’t know that was laid across the small of her back had found its way around her hips, gripping the far side of her waist tightly, causing her to yelp and turn around. “S’the matter w’you?” She laughed out, her hand delicately holding the straw in place with two fingers as she brought her lips around it for a sip with her other hand. Those, fucking lips. He cleared his throat and shook his head, “Lost m'balance- Liquor must’ve hit me.” He laughed, “S’hot in here, gonna pop outside for a smoke.” Harry nodded, gently patting her back as he slid past her.

      He could feel his ears ringing, like smoke was coming out of them. He’d really like to tell Mark just what a total degenerate he had been, but, it may knock too much sense into him. And he’d never have Y/N again. He needed some more time. You can’t do that, she’s hurt enough. She’ll just have to wisen up. And then Mark won’t have the chance. 

    Finally, the cool air hit Harry’s face, his hands scrambling through his pockets for his pack and a lighter. 

     The first drag was all he needed, just to turn his brain around. With a sigh, he blew out the smoke, leaning his body against the side of the bar’s building. He watched people pass, people scoot past him to get inside the bar. He watched a small family walk up to a newly parked food truck. Kinda late for food trucks, innit. He thought to himself, raising his hand for another drag and immediately felt a comforting and familiar hand at his shoulder. Y/N. 

      “Wh’y’ doin out here?” He asked, looking down at her. She had to be a little cold. Mind you, shes again only wearing her slim dress, the damn strappy snaky heels- No jacket. As always. “You’ll freeze.” He muttered, pulling his off to drape around her shoulders. “Thank you, Harry, but I’m alright. Just checking on you.” She said warily, knowing full well that he hardly ever would leave in the middle of someone’s proud moment to go smoke. That just wasn’t like him. “Are you upset Daphne’s moving?” She asked, reaching for his cigarette to take a drag of her own. Moving? “Er- yeah, I mean-“ He stuttered, unable to recover. His stupid brain was still fixated on her lips. “Because there’s a train that connects right to our station- and she said she’d be here any and every time she could manage. She said she couldn’t stay away from you too long.” Y/N nodded, a hopeful glimmer in her eye. Harry furrowed his eyebrows at her, “She- what?” Now he was so confused. “Daphne’s like- in love, with you Harry. You really never knew?” Y/N laughed out, and it sort of pissed Harry off. Like it was so obvious for her to see that someone else was in love with him, but not see that he was in love with her. Of course he never knew, because he’s been so busy trying to soothe Y/N and get her to see what was in front of her. Course he wasn’t worried about, Daphne, of all things. “No, I didn’t know-“ He almost snapped, irritated with it all now. “Oh my God, Harry! She drools!” Y/N giggled out, shaking her head and finishing off her drink. “Never stops looking at you, and! She glares at me when we’re talking.” Harry could tell by how her eyes began to glaze over that she was feeling the effects of her drink. Realising, it wasn’t fair to get angry with her. “Drools, huh?” He managed out in a chuckle, his throat feeling tight, like he was swallowing nails. She nodded and hummed, “She saw our texts, Har. Should’ve seen her face, she really likes you.” She slurred a bit, leaning up to his ear, “I know I shouldn’t..” She started, humming a bit before she sighed out, “I can’t stop thinkin’ bout y’ kissing me.” She whispered, giggling at the end. Harry had to shut his eyes, squeeze them shut. In another world, Harry would’ve laid it on her, right then and there. No regard for the outside world around them. His hands made their way to the small of her back, briefly pulling her in closer. “Y/N…” He warned, “We’re supposed to be keeping it a secret.” He mumbled back, his mouth felt like it was bleeding. He wasn’t able to say anything that he wanted to. But, he would have a hard time forgiving himself if whatever was so bad about being with him had to be kept quiet and had come out. She’d never be back. Harry felt like he had the devil and the angel on either shoulder. The angel, reminding him how delicate she’d been lately, all the while in his left ear, he could hear the devil asking him to breathe her in. Because she did smell fantastic. She whined and tugged at his shirt, pouting a bit with a soft, “Why?” And Harry lost it. All sense was gone, he let out a frustrated growl of sorts and gave one gentle yank to her hair to tip her head back, causing her to yelp and smirk at him.  Why? Why indeed. In one second, Harry had pressed his lips to hers, backing her up against the building, his hands moving so fast. Too fast. Her cheeks, her hair, her waist, her ass. Christ, what a sweet little ass she had. Harry groaned into her mouth, licking at her lip like honey fell from it. Y/N giggled in response, hooking an arm around his neck, her hand at the back of it. He was revelling in the freedom he was feeling to publicly have her in his arms. Harry felt like his heart was beating out of his chest, and just as he was about to muster enough control to pull away from her, “What the fuck are you doing?” with a quick jerk away from the beautiful woman. Mark.

“So, you’re fucking Harry? Harry?!” Mark shouted, his breaths coming out short but forceful. He was pissed, thats for sure. Y/N glared at him, having to lean against the clubs bathroom sink after he dragged her inside.  “I don’t know why it’s any of your business.” she snapped, “We aren’t together anymore, that was your decision.” Mark's head snapped up at her, his eyes wide and his eyebrows furrowed, “That doesn’t mean I’d be alright with you and one of my good friends fucking?!” He shouted, pulling at his hair as if he was going insane. "I'd hardly call you guys friends." She scoffed, folding her arms over her chest, “And, forgive me if I never received the handbook on what to do if your ex breaks up with you but still wants to fuck, oh! And! fucks other girls only to bring you their breakfast the next morning!” She shouted back, furious at him. “I shouldn’t even be having this argument with you, because in what world did you think it would be okay to come to the bar I was at!” She asked, narrowing her eyes at him. If Harry hadn’t been there, and Mark had walked through that door while she was drunk? She knew he would’ve walked through that front door and all she’d be thinking of, was which girl he’d take home the whole night. It was fun for a second to give him a taste of his own medicine but he was much, much better at this than she was.

     Mark hadn’t stopped pacing, his fingernails practically embedding themselves into his palms due to how tightly he had his fists balled up. It took everything in him not to throw Harry in front of a moving car after he ripped him away from Y/N. Out of everything, not once did he expect to have walked up on…. whatever that was. He couldn’t believe that it was Harry that had his hands around her like that. “Okay, well,” He started, his eyes dancing around a minute, “If you had said you wanted to suck Harry’s cock tonight when I was on the phone with you, maybe,” He seethed, his voice dripping with anger, “I’d have gone home!” He growled out, unsure of what he wanted to do now. His pride had taken a major plummeting fall. Y/N. His heart throbbed, painfully in fact. “Oh,” She scoffed out, “Please, you’re lucky I answered the phone at all! It’s none, of your, business!” She repeated, leaning forward a bit as she did. Mark laughed incredulously, “That would have been better, Y/N. Because then you wouldn’t have tried to play your little cat and mouse game, get me to think you wanted me here, and we wouldn’t be here!” He shouted, his arms opening up to gesture to the space of the bathroom. 

“My cat and mouse game?!” She practically laughed out, leaning forward a bit. She couldn’t believe her ears. “Ever since you broke up with me, it’s been nothing but games! You ended it because all I was good for was a fuck! Don’t forget that.”  He went quiet, the only sound was the softened thump of the music from the club. Y/N swallowed thickly and straightened up, “Are you done?” She muttered, “Because I have some friends waiting on me.” 

Mark scoffed, shaking his head, “Yeah, think I am.” 

So off she went, without another look at him. She slipped around the corner and hurried off to the corner where her friends were at. “And where’s Harry?” Y/N asked, looking around and not seeing a particular set of eyes. She was beyond irritated and feeling the embarrassment creeping up on her. The way they all looked at her told her that they had seen, everything. She shuffled in her spot slightly before straightening up and grabbing her bag. “Y’ears not workin’? Something trapped in em’?  I said where the fuck is Harry?” She snapped, watching a few scramble for answers. “He-He never- he didnt-“ Cade stuttered, sighing in relief as Daphne finished for him, “He never came back in.” Y/N groaned before turning on her heel to head out as well. Poor Daphne. She began hurrying down the street to get away from the club as fast as possible, scrambling for her phone and immediately dialed out Harry’s number. No answer. 

   To: Harry 

      Where did you go?

      They saw everything. 

      I’m trying to call you, Harry, please. 

                  Read 9:57pm

   She tried his number, again, no answer.

    Finally flagging down a cab, she hopped in and gave his address without a second thought. The whole drive there, she went over the last twelve hours or so. She couldn't believe the way Mark was acting. Of all the dumbest, insulting things to do or say, showing up at random times. The fucking nerve. He knows how she feels, and yet, he uses it whenever his poor ego needs a pick me up. And then to embarrass her, and possibly Harry as well? Because he can’t stand to feel unimportant? 

    The driver came to a slow, rolling stop and she quickly paid the driver before hurrying up his driveway, to the steps to his apartment and began rapping her cold knuckles painfully against the door. Please be here. Please be here. Embarrassment washed over her again like a tidal wave. She felt awful, anxious, the whole bid. He could have a girl here. And then if he didn’t go home?  Who was she to assume she single-handedly ruined his night? His neighbours assume she’s on drugs and call the police- And then! Her drivers went and drove off- his neighbours think she’s crazy… Cor, Y/N. You’ve really thought this one out. Just brilliant.

As she turned to pull her phone from her pocket to call up another driver, she heard a jingle of house keys coming up the drive. Her head snaps up to see Harry, who was having a bit of trouble walking a straight line as he focused on looking at his keyring, trying to find the front door’s match. “Wh- Harry!” She breathed out, blinking in disbelief. Harry’s head snapped up, his eyebrows furrowed and grumbled a bit. “What’re y’doin’ ‘ere, Y/N?” He muttered sadly, trying to move around her but gently bumping into her shoulder instead as he made his way around. “Don’t think ‘ve got it in me t’help,” He hiccupped and tried to fit the key into the hole before starting again, “help y’out tonight.” He whimpered, resting his forehead against the door after struggling. Y/N frowned and hurried up the steps again, taking the keys from him. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?” She asked, fitting the key in and opening the door for him.

His shoulders slumped forward, grumbling his answer as he shuffled into his house. Choosing to ignore the drunken gibberish, she moved towards the kitchen to grab him a glass of water, watching as he fell backwards into his couch. 

As she turned the corner to set his glass down on the coffee table, he, again, muttered something she couldn’t understand. “What was that?” Y/N asked, sitting down next to him. He sighed and leaned forward, “Went to a, uh- different bar.” He breathed out, taking the glass of water for a sip. “F-for a few drinks, t’clear m’head.” His fingers tapped at the glass before lifting the glass to his lips again. “I-I shouldn’t ‘ve…” He sighed and shook his head firmly, ending his sentence there before continuing again. “Y’asked why I hadn’t err…. answered y’phone, or, my phone.” He grumbled, feeling frustrated he couldn’t get a good explanation for her. “I thought you were heading back wiv’im.” He whispered, chewing at the inside of his lip to stop himself from admitting anything else. “Harry, I came here to apologise. I embarrassed myself a-and, maybe even you, I'm just, I-I’m so sorry.” She sighed, shaking her head before feeling the weight of his head against her shoulder. “S’not,” another hiccup interrupted him, “S’not y’fault, Y/N.” He whispered, a slow yawn following suit, his full body weight now resting against her. She managed a half-smile as she began sliding to the side under his weight deciding to drop the topic for now and let her head fall to the throw cushion sitting at the corner of the sofa. His head fell onto her chest and he yawned again. “Could never stay mad at you f’long.” He mumbled, bringing his legs up to get comfier in his position. A smile crept its way across her lips, her hand finding a comfortable position at his hair. “S’not fair to you.” She whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead before leaning up to turn the lamp out. “You’re too good t'me, Harry.” She murmured, reaching for the throw blanket to spread over his body. His only response was to briefly squeeze her and it wasn’t long afterwards that she could hear his peaceful snoring.

[part II.] [part III.]

(a/n: its hereeeee!! i hope you all like it, this has been sitting in my google docs for literal yearrrssss as something I’d read for comfort every now and then. literally this story idea has been in my head, i can hear harry and y/n talking constantly in my head. feedback, reblogs, likes are greatly appreciated!!)

#harry smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles angst #harry angst #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry x reader #harry styles one shot #harrys house #harry styles on tour #harry styles reader insert #harry styles tumblr #harry styles au #harry styles friends to lovers #harry styles fic #harry styles #harry styles fwb #harry writing #harry styles writing #harry styles x you #comfort!harry #best friend!harry #bestfriend!harry #sick of you #sick of you!harry

[here4kpopfics]

Not Like The Movies (Teaser) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f)reader 

Genre: Just angst for the teaser. big bundle of everything for the fic

AU: enemies to lovers, film industry!au

Wordcount: 720 for the teaser. probably 15k for the fic?

Summary: The biggest mistake you ever made was in college when you hooked up with the one and only Jeon Jungkook at a graduation party. You two had hated one another since high school when he betrayed you, and sleeping with him was a moment of weakness. Fast forward five years later, you’re a successful screenwriter, mainly for romcoms, and you just got an amazing opportunity to help write for a movie for a major production company. The only problem? Jungkook was signed onto the project as well and you two have to work together without killing one another in the process. 

Warnings: not much, just some language and angst ^_^

Rating: M/18+ for the fic. Probably NC17 for the teaser

AN: boy howdy this is going to be a time. This is gonna be part of a huge collab put together by the beautiful @jeonjcngkook and @mercurygguk. Thank you for letting me be a part of this. 🥺 Hoping to have it completed by April 11th before my birthday trip...banner and divider by @classicscreations

If you'd like to be tagged when it's done, let me know in the replies or send an ask! 💜

Masterlist | Taglist | AskBox | Coffee? | Patreon

You wake up the next morning with the feeling of being trapped. In a sense, you are. A large tattooed arm is wrapped around your waist, the body it’s connected to pressed against your backside, keeping you safe against it. 

Safe. 

This is anything but safe. This is a dangerous mistake you made. You need to get out before you’re forced to face it. Forced to face him. 

You gently wrap your fingers around his wrist, lifting his arm off you as slowly as you can to try not to wake him. When you think you’re free, you sit up at the edge of the bed, rubbing your face in your hands as you try to magically cure the pounding headache quickly forming behind your eyes. 

The feeling of fingers running up and down your spine snaps you to attention, stiffening immediately. 

“Where are you going?” His voice is deep, with a rough raspiness to it thanks to being asleep. You have to force yourself not to turn around and fall prey to the face you fell for last night. 

“Home. I have to finish packing before the movers get there.”

“I can help.” 

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Why not?” Why does he sound so whiny? Like a child being told he can’t have cookies before dinner. 

“This was never supposed to happen, you know that. I know that. The entire campus knows that.” 

You try to stand up, but the hand trailing on your back finds your waist, same as the other hand as he gets up to sit on his knees behind you, lips ghosting over the skin on your neck. “What if it was? I thought you believed in fate and all that stupid shit?”

Fate.

What a sick joke.

You can’t cry in front of him. You can’t let him see how his words have such a big effect on you. Your breath shakes as you shove him off of you, quickly standing up and grabbing your phone and clothes from the piles on the floor and locking yourself in the bathroom. 

You unlock your phone and scan over the drunken messages from Gyuri saying she couldn’t find you, was going home with Jihoon, and to call her in the morning. 

So much for a designated driver. 

You send her a text asking if she’s awake. You can’t bring yourself to explain to her on the phone why you’re where you are. You just need to get back to the apartment. 

“Y/n.” He knocks on the door, causing you to jump in place, dropping your phone on the counter, “open the door.”

“No.” You state, pulling your jeans up past your hips, pulling your shirt on after, as well as your jacket. You ignore the mirror completely, too ashamed of yourself. 

Gyuri texts back that she’s heading to the apartment and you quickly place an order for a ride share.

“Y/n…we’re not going to just leave it at that.” He sounds annoyed. He should be. After everything you said last night, to revert back to this can only feel like whiplash. 

Your driver is two minutes away. 

Thank god. 

“Yes we are.” You open the door, glaring at him briefly before you walk past him and out the bedroom door. But of course, he follows you. 

“Seriously? After the years and years of this back and forth of whatever the fuck was happening, you’re just going to walk out and not talk about it?” He grabs your wrist when you get to the front door to put your shoes on but you smack his hand off you, turning to face him. The tears are starting to escape, but you’re too angry to care anymore.

You’re not even sure who you’re angry at. Him? Yourself? The world? The driver taking his time getting to your location? Gyuri for not finding you and stopping you last night?

“Yes. Yes I am. This never happened and that’s how I’m going to live the rest of my life. So should you. Goodbye, Jungkook. Have a great life. I hope I never cross paths with you again.” You ignore the way his face falls, slamming the door on your way out and getting in the car.

Thank god college is over and so is this part of your life.

eeeeeeeeeeeee. hope you enjoy it when it's done. 😅 again, if you'd like to be tagged when it goes up, reply or send an ask. 💜💜💜💜

#kflixnet #wkcnet #btshoneyhive #bangtantheatrenet #kvanity #btswritersclub #fic: not like the movies #industry baby collab #kelly writes #kelly posts #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jjk x reader #jungkook fic #jjk fic #bts jungkook #bts fic

[chryblossomjjk]

glimpse of us (old concept) | jjk

→pairing: drummer!jk x reader

→rating/genre: m/18+ | was gonna be ex2l, smut, angst, fluff

→word count: 1k

→warnings: cursing, implied infidelity, jk smokes ciggys </3

→summary: You shouldn't have gone to the bar tonight, but you couldn't resist the urge to see Jungkook one last time.

→notes: ok so lmao !!! this is an early early concept of this fic. i wrote this before i even started my blog. i've turned glimpse of us into something COMPLETELY different, so this portion would've never seen the light of day. i sort of broke my ideas for this fic into other fics and wips (which u can probs tell if u've read my masterlist lol). but i found it in my drafts and thought it would be fun to share! and who knows... if u guys really like the concept kiki might consider making this into it's own thing (with a new name obvi). sorry if there’s typos !! tis was just a draft 💗

The static sound of muffled conversations was deafening. The low rumble of the blaring bass felt sharp against your spine as you leaned against the brick wall of the club. The cool night provided no relief to your burning skin. You inhale deeply, trying to calm the pounding in your chest.

What the fuck are you doing?

Shaky hands tug on the zipper of your shoulder bag, rummaging through the clutter until you find your phone.

11:45 p.m.

SAN still can’t believe u ditched me for shots w ur evil coworkers

SAN kidding lol have fun tonight babe

SAN call me when you get home so I know you’re safe

The sick feeling of guilt began bubbling in your stomach again. Especially when you unlocked your phone and were slapped in the face by your home screen. A picture of you and San at his cousin’s wedding last month.

The circumstances that led you to the bar tonight were questionable, to say the least. Sure, it was a decent place. The modern vibes lured in college students every weekend with the promise of live entertainment and a possible bathroom quicky afterward. You weren’t here for the ladder.

Friday nights were usually spent in the tub; soaking your sore body after a long week of catering to bridezillas and their overbearing mothers. Your boyfriend of three months, San, was currently at the campus library studying for finals. You should be too, however, you couldn’t resist the magnetic force that brought you here tonight. The pull personified as a post you stumbled upon while scrolling through your Instagram feed:

BTS LIVE. FRIDAY @9PM.

This was for closure. After tonight, you would purge your mind of the thing that held it captive for the past two years. You just needed to see the band one last time before you finally severed your connection to them, or more so, your connection with one specific member…

You shook your head, trying to erase your mind and focus on the task at hand; getting the fuck home. Your apartment wasn’t too far from your current location. Only about a ten-minute walk. But the heels you had been wearing all day fucking killed. Maybe that was your punishment.

You open the Uber app, but before you order yourself a ride, your screen stalls and fades to black.

“Fuck!” You whisper yell and stomp your black stiletto on the concrete. Very dramatic of you. In your defense, it had been a long, emotionally taxing, day. You wanted nothing more than to cry on your shower floor and send all your pent-up emotions down the drain. You pressed your palms into your eyes, head slumping down. The tears were already threatening to pour. This was a mistake.

You take another breath, trying to collect yourself. The oxygen gets caught in your throat when your momentary breakdown is interrupted by an all-too-familiar voice.

“Are you okay?”

As if the night couldn’t get any worse.

You turned your head to follow the sound, hoping the voice was a figment of your imagination. A cruel joke your mind was playing on you for coming here tonight.

It wasn’t.

Lifting your head and looking to the side, your eyes follow the sound.

Jungkook.

He’s sitting on the ground, back against the wall behind him. No regard for the gorgeous red fabric of his pants and matching jacket that his newfound success allowed him to afford. His head was tilted downward. The clicks of his lighter cut through the silent night air as he struggled to light the cigarette between his pink lips.

Although you’d never admit it, you had been keeping up with his social media accounts since the breakup. An entire two years ago. But nothing could’ve prepared you for when he took his seat behind the maroon drum set on the right side of the stage.

His once choppy bangs were now long and wavy, parted in the middle. You hadn’t noticed the undercut from your spot in the back of the crowd, watching him drum his heart out on stage. It was clear now, the downward angle of his head giving you a glimpse as his hair splayed over his eyes.

His chest was peeking out of the animal print blouse he was wearing. The old Jungkook would have never worn something so flashy.

Your Jungkook…

He had grown since the last time you saw him. That much was apparent. The gym selfies he frequently posted let you know he had taken on a new hobby. It was paying off too. His arms had filled out, bulging against the material of his coat. Nothing like the noodles you used to tease him for when you would watch him practice combos in his parents’ basement.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook spoke louder this time. The end of his sentence was cut off by a cough as he exhaled a puff of smoke. He had never been one to mind his own business. Always had something to say. A blessing and a curse. Currently, that quality of him you found endearing felt like a hex as he flipped the black strands out of his face, lifting his head in search of a reaction from the person ignoring him.

You didn’t miss the way his defined brows scrunched up in the middle when his eyes met yours.

Big and round. Still warm and innocent despite his progression from a boy to a man. The passage of time did nothing to diminish their light. All that passion. All that fire. They were the same eyes that haunted your mind, making your own well up with tears at the memory of them. The same eyes that you pretended you saw when you looked into San’s, hoping to get a glimpse of what was.

“__?”

You had no time to run. No time to craft an explanation as to why the fuck you were here. Frozen in place. You parted your glossed lips to speak, but nothing came out.

“__, what the fuck?” He didn’t sound angry. Didn’t look it either. Why would he be? Your break up was civil, a mutual decision. Your lives have become parallel. His band was taking off. You were busy with college. Your paths couldn’t intersect anymore.

He seemed more confused than anything.

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungkook #bts #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jungkook fic #bts fic #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenarios #jungkook au #jungkook x oc #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #kpop #Kpop imagines #jungkook blurbs

[honeystwiggypeach]

A courthouse wedding

Dad!Eddie x Mom!Reader

Dad!Eddie masterlist!!

Tw: morning sickness, Eddie not graduating in 1985 so he gets a little saddened, readers pregnant, reader and Eddie are very very young parents, unplanned pregnancy, lots of vomiting and morning sickness pls skip if you find that icky this one isn’t that important(the main focus is not the wedding as the tittle would suggest), crying, taking pregnancy tests, making decisions without thinking them fully through, and pet names! This whole thing is fluff it’s not angst.

Eddie had been in your room that morning, the moment you ran into your bathroom holding your mouth Eddie knew something was up.

He peeked his head into the bathroom to see you clutching your arms around the toilet as you groaned, this was not the way to begin your graduation day.

And it also wasn’t the way to begin your graduation when Eddie told you the school counselor had called him in the week before to say he wouldn’t have enough credits to graduate this year effectively crushing your dreams of moving near your dream college with Eddie this year since he’d still be enrolled in high school since he truly wants to graduate.

Anyways, the day continues to go downhill when you practically beg Eddie to pull over on the side of the road because your nauseous…three seperate times on the ten minute ride to school. And than again when you cried telling him it’d be the last time the two of you ever ride to school together again, Eddie was not amused to say the least when you cried again because now your mascara had dropped down your face.

“Eddie it’s ruined” you cried rubbing your face in his shoulder.

He let out a soft sigh, “baby, you left your bag in my van last time.” He grabbed your makeup bag from his backseat and you clapped a bit the two of you skipped the first three hours of school, the first because you were doing your makeup the second and third simply because you felt nauseous.

I’m his head he mentally makes a note to ask you about that as it seemed quite concerning.

The rest of the day up until graduation is normal, as normal as it could be as you had to will yourself to hold down your breakfast every half hour.

Once the graduation ceremony finally rolled around you just swathed gripped Eddie’s arm both before and after you were called up to collect your diploma.

Once you had taken a few photos with your family you were booking it to the office having your parents sign you out from school since they had known you were sick, and Eddie, well he just decided if you were skipping he might as well to.

You went back to Eddie’s house and after him insisting for the millionth time that something had to be wrong for you to be this sick you finally got tired of it asking, “alright Eddie since you know what’s wrong why don’t you tell me what I should do?” Yoh glare at him over your shoulder from your place on the floor near the toilet.

“Angel, listen don’t get mad but I think you should take a pregnancy test…”

And that’s how Eddie ended up walking to the convince store at midnight to buy nauseous medicine and a few pregnancy tests, just in case you know false negatives and false positives.

Well fuck, Eddie was right. You think to yourself as you stare down at all the pregnancy tests that have two lines on them after you had taken them the next morning.

Eddie hadn’t known if he should be happy or upset based on your reaction so he tried to internalize any emotions he had. If you were upset he was upset, if you were happy he was too.

“Eddie I think we should get married.” You mumble quietly.

He stares at you with wide eyes, “really angel? You wanna marry me?”

“…I don’t see why not we’re gonna have a baby and I love you so why not?” He hugs you happily and you smile softly.

“I have to find my good jeans for this baby!” He shouts happily running towards his closet and you pick up the dress you wore yesterday knowing that this was your best dress might as well get another wear out of it.

And that afternoon the two of you pulled into the parking lot of the court house nervously, so nervous in fact that you two did not have a witness but if Eddie thought about it, maybe he would have brought Chrissy or Dustin as a witness.

Instead the witness ended up being some random worker who got roped in because they were at the receptionist’s desk.

In all honesty neither of you regret it per day just wish you wouldn’t have jumped into it head first, it would have been ok to plan stuff out a little.

But that’s not what you two did instead you two went back home and counted up all your savings. If you guys were gonna have a baby and be married you didn’t think Wayne would appreciate the three of you keeping him up so late(he would t mind it!)

And after you gathered your savings and did all the math approximating that when you were around six to eight months pregnant that then the two of you could afford a small trailer.

The rest of that day was spent with Eddie holding one hand on your belly trying to convince you that the little fetus was kicking him.

“Eddie, she isn’t big enough to kick you yet.”

And when Eddie places his hand on your belly at eight months pregnant in your own trailer while you’re on maternity leave all he can think about is how fast your pregnancy has gone by, how he wouldn’t change a thing, not even his little court house marriage.

Tags: @miracleboysel

#reader insert #x reader #dad!eddie munson x reader #dad!eddie munson #eddie munson st4 #st4 #Eddie Munson #eddie munson x reader #mom!reader #eddie x reader

[the-cult-of-riley]

Sleeping With Ghosts (Act Two: Chapter Two)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female OC

[[Masterlist]]

A/N:

I’m super sick right now :(

I haven’t been able to write anything and instead got sucked down the rabbit hole of reading fanfic instead of writing lmao

I’ve got bits and pieces of Act Two written up already but not in a real order so there’s a lot I still need to write up. Send me good vibes so I can write up the next chapter.

Also, this chapter is like twice as long as my usual ones, enjoy :)

Placebo - Surrounded By Spies

I saw you jump from a burning building I saw you jump from a burning building I've seen you move like Elvis set on fire I've seen you move like Elvis set on fire This search for meaning is killing me This search for meaning is killing me This search for meaning is killing me This search for meaning

Ping pong ball at the back of my throat Ping pong ball at the back of my throat And I won't be spoken to like that And I won't be spoken to like that

Suspicious bag on the platform Suspicious bag on the platform Suspicious bag on the platform Suspicious bag on the platform

Ex-drummer's nose stuck in the past Ex-drummer's nose stuck in the past Found dead behind the wheel of a car Found dead behind the wheel of a car

World leader going under the knife World leader going under the knife Stage four Stage two Stage three Stage four Stage two Stage three

We go to Sweden in the back of a cab We go to Sweden in the back of a cab

And every picture house is empty And every picture house is empty

I gave my heart Now I want it back I gave my heart Now I want it back I gave my heart Now I want it back I gave my heart Now I want it back

I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies

Dead fly on the national anthem Dead fly on the national anthem Dead fly on the national anthem Dead fly on the national anthem

I see faces on the bathroom floor I see faces on the bathroom floor I see faces on the bathroom floor Come on over and I'll show you more

Where are you now When I need you the most (Shut up) Where are you now When I need you the most (Shut up) Where are you now When I need you the most (Shut up) Where are you now When I need you the most (Shut up)

I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies I am surrounded by spies

Charlotte sat on the bed quietly as Beth got into her pyjamas, ready for bed. It was much later than she was used to going to bed but after all the drama of the night, the poor girl looked ready to drop. Charlotte wasn't sure how to feel about any of it. The last few hours of her life had been a tempestuous whirlwind and she could barely get her bearings. She felt so much at once, all conflicting feelings that she didn't know how to sort through. 

She was happy he was alive, of course she was. How could she not be? How many times had she cried herself to sleep, asking the universe why he had to leave? Asking if he could just come back? Well, now he had. She got her wish, yet she hadn't expected it to happen, never mind how deeply it wounded her. To know he left all on his own volition was something else. She didn't care what his excuses were of keeping her safe, she didn't think anything he said would be enough to soothe the deep wounds he’d left her at this betrayal. 

She never thought in a million years that her Simon would do this to her. She hadn't meant to explode on him like she had, nor had she meant to confess in hurt and anger that she’d tried to kill herself. She felt shame flush her cheeks at remembering the fact she’d had an audience as she’d said it. Remembered how hurt he’d looked at her admission, even if all she could see of his face were his eyes.

That was all she needed to see to read him. There was something so heartbreaking about seeing him cry like he had, at seeing him hiding his face away behind that mask, yet she hadn't allowed herself to feel sympathy for him. She couldn't, not after what he’d done. 

She’d thought he’d been murdered, right along with everyone else she considered family. In one fell swoop, she’d become so bitterly alone in the world that the only way out she saw fit was to end her own life. She remembered waking up in that hospital bed. She hadn't felt relief that she had survived, didn't see life with a new outlook, all she felt was pain and blind rage at the universe that it wouldn't even let her fucking die in peace. To be with her family. But now looking back, maybe the universe was doing her a favour because Simon wasn't dead, he was here in fucking Hereford at the SAS base they used to live at all along. 

It was confusing to be relieved yet angry at the same time. She didn't know how to process any of it. All she’d wanted was to have Simon back, to have a complete family, for Beth to have her dad. But now she got her wish and she couldn't see a way where her and Simon could pick up where they left off. Not only because he'd created a cavernous space between them with his lie, but because they were different people now. 

Living through the grief that she had, it changed her, much like she could see it changed him. Even though he hadn't been technically dead, she hadn't known that and she’d grieved for him so deeply that she hadn't been able to get out of it in the five years he’d been gone. Her grief knew no bounds. Not for Simon, not for Beth or Tommy, not for Anne, nor for sweet little Joseph. It changed something deep in her DNA that would never go back to how it was. 

The bitterness and jadedness, the anger at the world. She’d spent the first few weeks of knowing she was pregnant hating her own baby simply because it meant she couldn't end her own life and end her own torment. But even when she finally connected with the little baby in her belly, she didn't go back to who she used to be. It gave her a reason to live, sure. It made her dead heart start beating again but it felt like there was only a small chunk of it left. The rest of it was buried along with the Riley family. 

She felt sick then, realising the grave she’d been visiting all this time hadn't been her husband's at all. Who the fuck was buried there then? A new wave of grief washed over her and she closed her eyes to stave off the tears, breathing deeply through her nose. She wasn't the woman Simon knew her to be, not any more. She knew from what Price had said, Simon had been through more than just the loss of his family. He had changed too, she could see that with that mask he wore. She could hardly believe the man was wearing a fucking skeleton mask all the time, not when he used to be so afraid of them. 

Ghost . That’s what Price said he was called now. He didn't go by Simon anymore. For all intents and purposes, Simon was dead. Maybe her grieving hadn't been for nothing after all. But could she love Ghost as she had Simon? Was Simon hiding in there at all? She thought back to the journey over here and the way Price was being cryptic, not telling her much but telling her enough to warn her of what might await her. 

The silence in the car was making Charlotte’s skin crawl but she couldn't find it in herself to open her mouth and break it. Her brain felt like it had been on a merry go round since the moustached man had uttered those treacherous words to her back home and felt like she didn't know which way was up anymore. 

She glanced to her left, seeing Beth clutching her stuffed bunny. She was bobbing her head to the beat of the music, chunky headphones over her ears that were connected to Charlotte’s phone. Beth had always loved music, enjoyed how Charlotte played it around the house. She thought it was best the girl listened to some on the journey, not wanting her to be hyper aware of the tension her mother was holding. It was getting increasingly harder to hide things from her, she was getting far too perceptive for her own good. She didn't need her asking questions about why she wasn't happy her dad was okay. 

When she’d explained to Beth on the way out that her father wasn't in fact an angel in heaven, but very much alive, the girl only had one emotion. Excitement. Of course she couldn't get it, she was far too young, but Charlotte was struggling with a slew of emotions she couldn't quite understand and she was having a hard time putting on a brave face for her daughter. 

“I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be goin’ through right now. And I know I have no right to ask you anythin’ but… just hear him out, yeah? Whether that's tonight, in a week, a fuckin’ month… Once you’ve got your head on right, just try to listen to him,” John murmured carefully from the driver's seat, the leather steering wheel creaking under his grip. 

Charlotte tensed, glaring out of the window as she crossed her arms over her chest. Part of her wanted to hear Simon out. He was her husband. They hadn't just been lovers, but best friends and that's why she was so confused as to why he’d done this to her. At her silence, John continued.

“He’s a good man, Charlotte. And I know you know that ‘cause you married him,” he sighed, his tone weary.

“It’s been five years, John. I don’t know what kind of man he is now,” she bit out, still staring out of the window as the dark street passed her by. 

“He’s still a good man,” John argued vehemently. “I won’t lie and say he’s the same man you knew all those years ago because he’s changed. Who wouldn't after everythin’ he’s been through? I can’t tell you all of it ‘cause it’s not my story to tell, but… I know you know what happened to the family,” he murmured, glancing at her through the rear view mirror. She licked her lower lip, chest aching at the mere mention of them.

“They were murdered,” she replied tensely. They’d never caught the murderers and that had always been something that stuck with her. John nodded, a frown etched onto his face that she could see when she looked through the mirror at him.

“Like I said, I can't say much, but I will tell you it was connected to a job gone wrong in Mexico. Simon was taken with some of his squad mates, tortured for months on end. And the poor bastard… he somehow survives, somehow gets out, only to come home and find his family fuckin’ massacred,” John’s angry words made Charlotte feel nauseous. 

The idea of Simon going through all that broke her heart. She remembered his smiling face the day he left, the last time she ever saw him. He’d already been through so much in his life and she could only imagine the stuff he went through at the hands of whoever did this to him. 

It still stung though, that he left her so willingly. She was his wife, he should have come to her in his time of need so she could be there for him. They could have grieved together, helped each other through it. But instead, he’d led her to believe he’d been murdered too, led her to believe she was thoroughly on her own.

“He could have come to me,” her voice was a mere whisper in the quiet car and John’s shoulders slumped.

“I know he could have. He fuckin’ should have. I’ll never sit here and try to defend his actions, he was a fuckin’ idiot for doin’ what he did. I tried to tell him after I found out he’d faked his death, told him to reach out to you, but he wouldn't have any of it. He was convinced if he did, you’d wind up dead too,” John explained with a sigh. 

The more rational and logical side of Charlotte’s brain understood the motives. Understood that Simon had been out of his mind with grief after being tortured for months when he'd made the choice to leave her behind like he had. She understood how terrified he must have been when she tried to put herself in his shoes. But what she didn't understand was why he hadn't told her sooner. Why not after a few months or even just one year, he hadn't tried to reach out and explain things to her.

Five years was a long time and the only reason she was finding out now was because his identity had been exposed. If that wouldn't have happened, she had no doubt she’d still be thinking her husband was dead and that hurt her deeply. It hurt that he clearly hadn't even looked her up and checked to see how she was doing or he’d have known about Beth. John had told her as they left the house that he’d called ahead to let him know he had a daughter so he didn't have a heart attack when they got there. Did he care that little about her that it was so easy to let her go? That he’d been able to forget about her like she meant nothing?

She was broken out of her depressing thoughts when Beth moved to take the headphones off, looking from Charlotte to John.

“Are we nearly there yet, Mr John?” she asked excitedly, kicking her legs around as she wriggled in her seat. It was far easier for Beth to roll with the punches after finding out her dad was very much alive. She didn't care about the ‘how’ or the ‘why’, she just cared about finally getting to meet her daddy, her hero. 

“Not too long left now, sweetheart,” John replied with a smile. It hadn't escaped her notice how attached he’d gotten to Beth already. 

“I can’t wait! Mummy, are you excited to see daddy?” she asked with a big smile, her big brown eyes boring into her mother. No, no she really wasn't. It would have been better if this bomb had been dropped on her and then she was left to stew in it for a week so she could digest the news. But instead she was heading right there when her emotions were heightened and she couldn't make sense of any of them.

“Of course I am, sweetie,” she smiled at her. She tried her best to make it as genuine as possible and the girl bought it by the way her own smile widened. 

“Now, before we get there, there’s just a few things I wanna get outta the way,” John spoke up, making fleeting eye contact through the mirror with Charlotte.

“He doesn't really go by Simon much anymore. I’m really the only one who calls him by his name and it doesn't happen a lot, sometimes his best mate Johnny will too, if it's somethin’ serious. On base, you’ll hear him be referred to as Lieutenant or Ghost,” he continued. Lieutenant. He got his promotion then. 

“Ghost? That’s a funny name!” Beth giggled and John let out a chuckle.

“It’s his callsign, kind of like a nickname. Most soldiers have one,” he explained patiently. 

“Do you have one, Mr John?” she asked curiously.

“Not really. People often just call me Cap or by my last name,” he shrugged.

“Why is daddy called Ghost? Does he like spooky things? I like spooky things!” Beth exclaimed, pulling what she deemed to be a ‘spooky’ face in the mirror at John and he smiled to himself. She didn't give him a chance to answer her barrage of questions though as she continued to ramble.

“Halloween is my most favoritest day of the year. And on my birthday, mummy decorates the house like it's halloween!” she grinned, ending her spiel with a ghost noise as she wiggled her fingers dramatically. Despite the situation, Charlotte couldn't help the smile that curled on her lips. No matter what anyone said, her daughter was for sure a character. 

“Well, if you like spooky things, you’ll like your daddy’s mask then. He has a skeleton mask that he wears all the time,” John spoke up. His voice was light as he addressed his words to the young girl who started clapping excitedly, but his eyes caught Charlotte's with a meaningful look. It shocked her, knowing his fear since a child, knowing how Tommy used to wear a skeleton mask to scare him.

“All the time?” she asked, getting a nod in return. 

“Was only recently the rest of the 141 got to see his face. Part of it's due to some scarrin’ he’s got after… after Mexico. But mostly I think it's to conceal his identity,” he explained and she held in her scoff. Didn't do a fucking good job since someone found out anyway and now her and Beth were being driven to an SAS base for god knows how long. 

She tried to will herself to be in a better mood, to summon some semblance of excitement to see her husband, mostly for her daughter's sake. Little Beth couldn't sit still in her seat as she went on and on about how excited she was to see him. She couldn't find any excitement inside herself though. 

The sting of his betrayal stung deep and she had no idea how long it would take for it to subside. Would it ever? She never thought in her wildest dreams that she’d ever get to see him again and never did she ever think she’d be feeling this way if she did. Yet here she was, on her way to see the husband she thought was dead for the past five years and all she felt was hurt. 

Charlotte looked over once Beth was fully ready for bed, watching as she rummaged around in the duffel bag near the bed. The room was a decent size with a bathroom attached. It had a double bed for Charlotte and a smaller single bed for Beth. John had explained to her once she’d come inside about how the base worked, despite the fact she lived here once. Apparently things had changed a little especially since they were in a special task force. 

It was an SAS base but they weren't the only ones here. The Task Force had their own building which housed their barracks and a rec room/small kitchen. They shared the training area, armoury and mess hall with the rest of the soldiers here. 

Beth pulled a worn leather bound book from the bag and Charlotte smiled softly. It always looked comically large in her small hands. It was the same copy of Grimm’s Fairy Tales that Simon got her all the way back in 2006. She hadn't been able to look at it for two years after he ‘died’, but eventually she found comfort in reading it. Beth loved it too now. The stories weren't traditionally for children but Beth didn't care. She loved these ones and not the Disney versions that were in her words, ‘icky’. She toddled over, book in hand and her comfy bunny pyjamas back on.

“Mummy…?” she asked softly, dark eyes glancing over at her with a tiny smile playing on her lips.

“What is it, sweetie?” Charlotte answered.

“Could daddy read me my bedtime story?” she asked hopefully. The idea of seeing Simon so soon after the confrontation outside made her blood turn to ice in her veins, but she concealed it with a fake smile for her daughter. 

“You’d have to ask him, his room is next door. He might not be there though,” she said softly. She hoped he wouldn't be there. It was bad enough knowing his room was so close to theirs and she knew Simon was probably to blame for that. 

“Can I go and knock?” she asked with a grin and Charlotte nodded as she stood up. She wouldn't go to his door but she’d wait at her own so she could keep an eye on her. She was only four after all. Beth put the book on her bed and Charlotte opened the bedroom door, leaning on the doorframe as she watched Beth go to the door next to theirs. 

She knocked softly, fidgeting where she stood and Charlotte felt conflicted. The selfish part of her hoped he wouldn't be there so she wouldn't have to see him, but seeing how excited and anxious Beth was, she couldn't help but hope he was there. The door opened and Charlotte couldn't see him as he stood in his doorway. Beth grinned up at him, a brilliant smile that she’d perfected over the years. The one that got her anything she wanted. 

“Daddy! Can you read me a bedtime story, please?” she asked, clutching her hands together like she was begging him. He was silent for a moment and Charlotte wondered what look he had on his face. Despite everything, it had touched her seeing how emotional he got when he saw Beth. It touched her how he instantly fell in love with her. 

“Where's your mummy, sweetheart?” he asked carefully and Beth pointed over at her. 

He stepped out of the door then, now dressed in black sweats and a tight fitting t-shirt. He’d always been big but he seemed even bigger now. He didn't have on the hard skull mask from earlier, and instead he had a black gaiter with half a skull painted on it covering his lower face. She could just make out a scar coming out from it and curling around his temple. 

His blonde hair had grown in his time away. It was longer at the top and messily pushed back, shorter on the sides. He also had a half sleeve and a part of her brain, the old Charlotte, itched to see what the ink was, what story it told. He stared at her for a long moment and Charlotte couldn't meet his eyes as they burned into her. He finally dragged his gaze away from her and back to the little girl in front of him.

“If it’s alright with your mum, then I’ll read to you, lovie,” he murmured, making Beth turn her pleading eyes on her. Charlotte couldn't find her voice and just nodded, making her way back to the bedroom as Beth and Simon followed. She sat on the bed, watching as Beth rushed in, grabbing the book. Simon shut the door behind him, looking severely out of place in the room.

“Come on, daddy!” Beth giggled as she climbed in bed, pulling her quilt over her and patting the spot next to her. Simon walked over, perching on the side of the bed. When Beth shoved the book in his hands, his whole body seemed to still. Charlotte couldn't help but watch his reaction, seeing how his hand rubbed over the beaten leather cover as he swallowed thickly. He took a shaky breath, cracking open the front cover to reveal the message inside. 

‘Grimm stories for my Grim girl. 

All my love,

Simon’

She watched as his hands shook, watched how he blinked rapidly before looking at her. She felt a deep ache in her chest and she bit down on her lower lip, tearing her gaze away from his. She knew it meant something to him, that she’d kept the book. 

“Which story, lovie?” he asked Beth after clearing his throat. 

“Any, you can pick!” she smiled, moving to lay down, wriggling around to get comfy inside the covers. He nodded, flicking through the pages before he found the one he’d been looking for.

“Once upon a time there was a sweet little girl. Everyone who saw her liked her, but most of all her grandmother, who did not know what to give the child next. Once she gave her a little cap made of red velvet. Because it suited her so well, and she wanted to wear it all the time, she came to be known as Little Red Ridin’ Hood, ” he started, his voice low and soothing. Charlotte settled to sit back, leaning on the headboard as she listened on.

“One day her mother said to her: ‘Come Little Red Ridin; Hood. Here is a piece of cake and a bottle of wine. Take them to your grandmother. She is sick and weak, and they will do her well. Mind your manners and give her my greetin’s. Behave yourself on the way, and do not leave the path, or you might fall down and break the glass, and then there will be nothin’ for your sick grandmother.’ " listening to him read like this took her back and she tried to ignore the tumultuous tide of emotions within her. A large part of her wanted to go over to him, curl around him and not let him go. She didn't think she'd ever get to hear his voice again and now he was reading to their daughter. Despite the deep yearning she felt, she didn't move. She couldn't . 

A nasty voice in the back of her head wondered if he was happier away from her. Wondering if maybe he hadn't looked her up because he realised he was better off without her. She knew it was stupid, knew it was a very self centred way of thinking, yet she couldn't help it. She never thought she and Simon had a perfect relationship by any means, she didn't think perfect existed. She did think they came pretty fucking close though so learning that he just fucked off and left when they both needed each other still didn’t make sense in her brain.

She stayed there listening to him read until Beth fell fast asleep, her soft snores filling the air as he stopped reading. The quiet left the roaring in her ears far too loud. Glancing over at him, she saw how he watched Beth, eyes flitting over her face as if he was trying to ingrain every small feature of her face into his brain. It made her chest feel hot and tight as he gently raised his hand up to her head, hesitating for a mere second before he stroked her head with his large hand. 

She wondered what he would have been like with her as a baby. It had devastated her after having to go through labour alone, to know Beth's daddy wouldn't ever get to hold her. He'd missed out on so much of her life, so many important firsts she'd been through. There wasn't anything he could do or say to change that. 

His hand moved back to the book then as he closed it quietly, his hand once more smoothing over the beaten leather cover. The silence that permeated the room was anything but comfortable and Charlotte wasn't brave enough to break it herself. He dragged his eyes to her and she tried to quell her rapidly beating heart. She needed time alone, needed her brain to digest the ridiculous amount of bullshit that it had forced on it within hours. 

“I'll uh… I'll let you rest then,” he murmured, his tone unsure and awkward as his eyes never left her. He'd always had a way of seeing right through her but now she hated it. She nodded, nibbling her lower lip as she stood. She didn't know what to say so she settled on not saying anything at all as she walked to the door. She opened it, unable to meet his gaze that was burning into her as he placed the book on the nightstand and moved over to the door. 

He hovered in the doorway before just stepping right out, allowing her to breathe a sigh of relief. Part of her had been worried he'd corner her into talking about everything and it was far too soon. But as she watched him walk down the hall a few steps away to his own door, a thought hit her like a tonne of bricks again and she couldn't stop her mouth from opening. To ask the question burning on the tip of her tongue, even if she was scared to know the answer.

“Simon…” she called out after him, her voice trailing off as she stepped out into the hallway. He stopped and turned to face her at an alarmingly fast rate. She almost felt bad at his hopeful eyes that burned into her.

“What is it, love?” he asked, his voice soft, as he gazed at her. 

She’d wondered if Simon was in there at all or if Ghost was all that was left, but the reverence in his dark eyes let her know that Simon was indeed still there, even if he was buried. Her mouth floundered for a moment, scared to even ask him but she knew she’d lose sleep if she didn't. Hell, she knew she'd be losing sleep regardless, but she wanted to know.

“Who… Who’s buried… where you should be?” she asked carefully, tripping over the wording. Shock coloured his face for a brief moment before his eyes darted away at lightning speed, now unable to look at her. It only made the pit in her stomach grow.

“Some things are best just left well alone, sweetheart,” he frowned, still not looking at her. It only served to make annoyance swell up inside of her.

“Really? After everything you’ve fucking done, now you won’t even answer my questions?” she asked, sounding more hurt than angry which only annoyed her further. His eyes finally met hers, brows furrowed deeply but he still didn't say anything.

“How am I ever gonna be able to understand all of this bullshit if you won't even answer me?” she asked incredulously as she took an angry step towards him.

“Ask me somethin’ else, anythin’ else and I’ll answer, please ,” he whispered and she could hear how strained his voice was. She knew then, he didn't want to answer her because he knew she wouldn't like the answer. Her eyes narrowed, hands shaking at her sides as she glared at him.

“It was one of them, wasn't it? One of the murderers?” she asked, dread coating her tongue. It got worse when he squeezed his eyes shut, lowering his head as he inhaled deeply through his nose. She started to think he wouldn't answer her again but then his shoulders slumped as he nodded.

“Yeah… it is,” he admitted and the shame in his voice was clear as day. She stumbled back a step, covering a hand over her mouth as if it would help stop the feelings of bile climbing up her throat.

“Lottie…” he pleaded, reaching his hand out as if to steady her but she moved right away from him, bitter tears stinging her eyes.

“You… I can’t-” she shook her head, wiping at her eyes furiously as the ringing in her ears got louder. His own tearful face watched her, half covered as his tears disappeared under his gaiter.

“I visited that grave every single fucking day! I stood there and poured my heart out to the bastard that took our family away! He's buried next to them!” she seethed, trying to keep her voice down but she felt so much disgust that she worried she might vomit her heart right up. His face fell, a look in his eyes that told her this was something that bothered him deeply, yet he’d done it anyway. 

“I’m sorry, love, I am, but I did what I need-” he started but she didn't want to hear it.

“Don't you dare! You didn’t need to fake your fucking death! You didn't need to have me visiting a murderer's grave for five years!” she hissed, feeling lightheaded. She couldn't even look at him, it made her feel sick. 

She turned on her heel, moving back to her door and pushing it open, but just as it opened a crack, his large hand covered hers on the handle as he yanked it back shut. His hand stayed on hers, his left hand on the doorframe by her head, caging her in as she faced the door. 

His chest wasn't touching her back but was close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off him. Part of her wanted to cave, wanted to turn in his arms, sob into his chest and beg him to never leave her again. She couldn't though, not after this. It dawned on her that this was why he was scared to answer the question. That maybe this was a push too far. 

She stood stock still, tearful eyes blinking at the wooden door in front of her. His head was hovering over her right shoulder and she could hear his stuttering breaths, knew he was trying to calm himself despite his tears. She waited for him to speak, to argue his point some more. She didn't have it in her anymore, she just needed to get away from him. 

He stayed there for a moment, so close yet so out of reach it burned her chest, and then he backed away from her. Her hand felt ice cold once he’d let her go, the only proof he was in fact alive and she hadn't made all of this nonsense up in her head. 

“I know it probably doesn't feel like it, Lottie… but I love you,” he murmured with a rough voice. She didn't turn to look at him as her silent tears fell harder, didn't dare open her mouth because she wasn't sure just what might come out. She stayed as still as a statue at her door until she heard him walk away and go back into his room, and only then did her tense muscles relax. 

The tears wouldn't stop though and the burning in her chest was getting worse. She knew she couldn't go into the bedroom like this. The last thing she wanted was to wake up Beth in this state and only cause her confusion. Not really knowing what else to do, she took off down the hallway, leaving through the double door that separated the bedrooms from the rest of the building. She hurried into the kitchen area, chest heaving with ugly sobs that she couldn't hide any more. She was just glad Simon wasn't around to witness her like this. She clutched the kitchen counter in a death grip, trying to will her breathing to slow so she could get a hold of herself. 

“Oh shit, I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

The voice made her whip around, coming face to face with a man with a mohawk. She’d seen how close he was to Simon when they were all outside and she was sure this was the best friend John had told her about. She wiped her eyes as her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, but she still couldn't calm down. He looked so sad when he looked at her, like he knew her, like they were friends, and this whole thing made him sad. It was pretty jarring given he was a stranger. 

“Alright, come on,” he sighed with a frown, shaking his head as he held his arms out to her. She blinked her watery eyes at him dumbly.

“What?” she squeaked out through her tears. He didn't answer her with words and instead just took a few long strides to her before wrapping her in his arms.

It caught her off guard but there was something comforting about him and she couldn't help but melt into him, allowing herself to seek comfort. The only person that had hugged her for years had been Beth and despite how she was avoiding Simon’s touch like the plague, she needed comforting now more than ever. 

She sobbed into his chest, hands balled into his t-shirt at his back as he held her close. One of his hands stroked her hair as he murmured something to her. She couldn't really understand him with his accent, she wasn't even sure if he was speaking English at this point. It still soothed her though and after far too long for her liking, her tears finally dulled to sad sniffles. His shirt was soaked with her tears and she felt her face flush once more as she reluctantly pulled away from him. He gave her a sad smile, squeezing her shoulders before he took a step back, allowing her space once more.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, shame still nipping at her.

“Don't need t’ thank me, lass. Yer family,” he replied easily, a warm smile on his face. Family . That word felt so strange to her now. She’d been so used to it just being her and Beth and now she had a family again. She tried to give him a smile back, feeling more than overwhelmed and unsure of herself.

“You want me to make ye a brew?” he asked kindly but she shook her head, swallowing thickly as she wiped at her damp cheeks.

“No… No thanks, I should get back in case Beth wakes up,” she declined politely and he nodded with another warm smile.

“Alright then. Sleep well,” he shot her another smile and she headed to the door, arms wrapped around herself as if to self soothe.

“Charlotte,” he called out before she walked through the doorway. She turned back to look at him, finding him looking at her already. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing.

“If ye need anythin’, and I mean anythin’ , ye can come to me. I know you don’t know me very well, not yet at least, but ye don’t have to be alone here. I want ye to know that. You got someone fightin’ in yer corner for ye. That big fuckin’ idiot might be my best friend but… you didn’t deserve all this shit. So if ye need someone rootin’ for ye, I’m right here,” he implored, bright blue eyes burning fiercely. 

Her throat clogged up, eyes stinging with unshed tears again at his words. He didn't know her at all yet she could tell he meant his words. It touched her and sent a wave of relief through her. Simon was the only one she knew here and she couldn't go to him after everything. She couldn't trust him any more, so knowing she had someone she could go to if she needed anything was a huge relief for her. 

“Thanks…” she trailed off, realising she didn't know his name. Her head was so muddled, she couldn’t remember if John had told her back on her journey here or not.

“Johnny or Soap. Take yer pick. Fuck, ye can call me the Scottish Bastard if ye want, I won’t mind,” he shot her a lopsided grin that made her smile genuinely for the first time in hours. 

“Thanks, Johnny. It means a lot,” she murmured. He beamed at her, seemingly happy with her response and she gave him a little nod before exiting the room.

Johnny watched her go, trying to ignore the dull ache in his chest at the mess his best friend had caused. He turned to flick the kettle on, needing some shite like a chamomile tea to help him unwind before bed. He felt far too wired right now. He felt the presence before he heard it and he heaved a sigh.

“Ye want somethin’, LT?” he asked tiredly, glancing over his shoulder. Ghost stood there, gaiter on and all imposing like he usually was but Johnny spotted his tense posture right away. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think his LT was about to fucking murder him.

“What’s your fuckin’ game, Johnny?” Ghost growled. His tone was harsh, harsher than Soap had ever received from him even when he was purposely trying to push his buttons. It made annoyance swell up inside the Scot as he turned to fully face the spectre haunting the kitchen.

“Excuse me?” he asked, making sure to sound as unimpressed as possible. Ghost took a step towards him and Johnny wouldn't be a liar and say it didn’t strike a little fear through him. Mostly because he could see those dark eyes peering over the mask at him and they looked absolutely fucking feral.

“That’s my fuckin’ wife you had your hands all over!” he hissed, sounding half fucking gone as he jabbed a finger in Soaps’ direction. It wasn't just jealousy he could detect in the man's tone, no, it was pure hurt.

“Is that a fuckin’ joke?! Ye think I’m makin’ moves on yer wife?!” Johnny spat, feeling like he might as well have been smacked in the face. 

Ghost’s breathing was ragged and Johnny didn't miss the glistening of his eyes. He felt almost positive his big bad LT was on the verge of breaking down and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to will himself some fucking patience to deal with the man.

“I was comfortin’ her, ye wee bawbag! Didn’t ye see her? She was a mess, a mess you caused! And I get it must be hard all this but it's hard on her too and I want her to know she’s got people that care. I want this to fuckin’ work for the both of ye, yer my best friend for Christ’s sake! I’m tryin’ to be the bridge here, the one to help guide you back together!” Johnny frowned. 

If he was honest, he felt hurt at Ghost’s implications but he also knew the normally emotionally constipated man was going through a lot right now. The beast of a man's shoulders sagged and Soap saw the switch from Ghost to Simon as he looked down, shaking his head as his fists clenched and unclenched.

“I didn't mean… I know you wouldn't, I just…” Simon couldn't seem to find his words, his voice cracking as he sucked in a painful sounding breath. 

“She won’t let me touch her. All I wanna do is hold her and I can't. And then I see you huggin’ her and I…” he trailed off with a shaky voice, nothing but pain in his words and it punched Soap in the gut. He felt for the man, he really did. Five years away from his wife and he wasn't allowed the reunion he so desperately craved. He can only imagine it would drive a man mad. 

“Well… if ye hug me then it’ll be like a second hand hug off Charlotte,” he murmured wryly, opening his arms out to him. Simon squinted at him, tilting his head as he looked at him like he’d grown another head.

“Are you fuckin’ daft?” he asked incredulously and Soap laughed lightly.

“Aye, pretty much. Now come here, ye fuckin’ shit stain,” Soap huffed, moving over to hug the man. 

Simon’s hands hung limply by his sides for what felt like a whole minute but Soap didn't relent. Finally, he heaved a long suffering sigh before wrapping his arms around Johnny and the Scot knew he needed this hug as much as Charlotte had with how tightly he was gripping him.

“I fuckin’ hate you,” Simon muttered in contempt and Soap smiled to himself.

“Nah, ye love me,” he retorted, not missing a beat. He let go after a few moments not wanting a punch to the dick for taking too long. He’d already pushed it as it was.

“It’ll all work out in the end. Just gotta be patient,” Johnny said carefully, a soft look on his face as he watched his Lieutenant roll his shoulders as if to shake the tension out of them. 

“How can you be so sure?” he asked miserably and at that moment, Soap wasn't sure if he was speaking to Ghost or Simon or maybe an odd mix of both.

“I can feel it. Ye both still love each other and I think after some time, you’ll be able to work through it all. Love like this… nothin’ can stop it,” he shrugged honestly and Simon swallowed thickly, the movement making his gaiter bob a little. 

“I hope you're right, Johnny,” he admitted quietly, a mere whisper in the kitchen as if he was scared to say it out loud. 

Johnny hoped he was right too, he hoped to all the gods to ever exist that Simon could win his wife back. If anyone deserved happiness in this world it was his LT and Johnny wanted him to get that happy ending he’d always tried to deny. The one he’d tried to run from. Like he said, nothing can stop a love like this and it had all come catching up to him now. You can't outrun fate.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x oc #simon ghost riley x oc #simon riley x oc #ghost x reader

[xxsp3llb0undxx]

Years go by, without you by my side

Joel Miller x Wife!Reader [2.6k]

Summary: 20 years had passed since the day everything went to shit, Joel lost everything; he was a recluse - or so he thought.

WARNING: GORE ,, INFECTION ,, BLOOD ,, VOMIT ,, MENTIONS OF DEATH ,, SWEARING ,, ONE SIDED LOVE ,, UNREQUITED LOVE ,, SLIGHT TOMMY X READER

MASTERLIST TLOU

Life was good before all of this mess, Joel was happily married and his daughter, Sarah, finally had a mother figure in her life to teach her everything she needed to know about being a woman. The first time Sarah had gotten her period, Joel was terrified; his baby was hurting and she wouldn't stop crying, he had no clue what to do but then Y/n stepped in and guided Sarah through it all. She had made sure the young girl was fully stocked up on pads, chocolate, pain killers and a hot water bottle. Joel had never felt so grateful to have another woman in his life that his daughter could talk to about the things he didn't have a clue about.

The small moments between his wife and daughter made his heart swoon, he was scared Sarah wouldn't approve of their relationship at the start and he would've completely gave up on his love life if his daughter was ever uncomfortable. But, luckily for him, his daughter instantly clicked with Y/n, they were suck at the hip. Everywhere Y/n went, Sarah would be trailing behind, rambling on about random things earning the softest of smiles from the older woman. When Joel and Y/n broke the news to Sarah about them getting married, she was ecstatic. Her smile huge, eyes sparkling. Her happy squeals filled the air, she was practically bouncing off the walls at the news of her dad finally being happy.

Well, that was 3 years ago. A lot had happened in those years, Y/n and Joel tried for a baby but their luck wasn't working. Until it did. It was September 26th, 2003 - Joel's 36th birthday. Y/n had woke up feeling sick, rushing out of bed and into the bathroom down the hall. Last nights dinner coming back up. The noise of her throwing up must've woke up Joel, as he opened their bedroom door and carefully made his way down the hall to the bathroom, Y/n was hunched over the toilet as she continued to throw up into the toilet bowl. Joel crouched down beside her, rubbing his palm up and down Y/n's back, the gesture made the older woman lift her head up from the toilet bowl and look over at Joel; his hair was all over the place, eyes half lidded.

"You okay, sweet pea?" Joel's voice was laced with sleep, his Texan accent more noticeable. Y/n looked at Joel with teary eyes, she hated the feeling of being sick; the feeling of being an inconvenience to everyone around. Joel brought his wife into his chest, wrapping his warps around her smaller frame. "Hey, don't cry darlin' everything's going to be okay." They stayed like that on the bathroom floor for what felt like hours, until Sarah started banging on the slab of wood telling her parents to hurry up so she could get ready for school.

After the whole ordeal in the bathroom, Y/n had went downstairs as Sarah had finished getting ready; telling her dad he had 15 minutes before she had to leave for school. The aroma of dark roast coffee filled the kitchen, making Sarah fake gagging noise. "I don't get how you and dad can drink that stuff." The small comment made the older woman laugh. Before Y/n could reply, the sound of boots hitting against the wooden stairs brought her focus to the staircase to see Joel ready for work, his hair slightly damp form the shower he had. Sarah hugged her father and wished him a happy birthday, not forgetting to bully him over his age.

Once they had eaten breakfast, Sarah had ran upstairs to get something, neither of her parents knew what, though. Tommy was waiting in the truck as Joel gave a goodbye kiss to Y/n, telling her to take it easy today after her being sick an hour prior. Sarah bounded down the stairs and gave Y/n a hug before rushing out the door, the older woman stood in the doorway watching her little family drive off.

Y/n did some house cleaning throughout the day, preparing the the vegetables and chicken for dinner later that day. Another wave of sickness hit her again, she barely made it to the bathroom before she inevitably threw up her breakfast. She flushed the toilet and got up to brush her teeth for the second time that day. Y/n opened the cabinet where the Miller's kept painkillers and first aid things. Her eyes caught a white box on the top shelf, a pregnancy test. Y/n closed her eyes for a second before picking the box up and opening the packaging. She used the test and put on a timer for 5 minutes as instructed on the leaflet. When she checked after the timer went off, she saw two lines - Positive.

A lot had happened in the space of Sarah and Joel coming home, and then Joel having to go get Tommy from the police station. The world fucking ended. There was fire everywhere, people were screaming as cars and trucks drove past them. Tommy was trying his best to find a way out, Sarah wouldn't stop asking questions about the things happening, Joel was panicking and he was right to do so, this was a fucked up nightmare. Then everything got worse, a plane fell from the sky the engines ablaze, and then the next thing anyone knows; the truck flips upside down, smoke pilling out of every nook it could escape from. Joel had gotten Sarah out on his side but Y/n and Tommy were trapped opposite them. "Joel, baby, don't panic. Keep Sarah safe, we will meet you guys down by the river. I love you." Those three little words sounded like the last time Joel would ever hear them from you, and maybe he was right to assume.

Tommy and Y/n walked along the streets, staying in the shadows to not draw unwanted attention to themselves. Tommy's hand clasped tightly around Y/n's, he would never admit it but he always had a thing for her before his older brother finally snatched her up for himself. The trek to the river took quite awhile, probably because of all the infected lurking around ready to pounce at any sound. Just before they had arrive, Tommy pulled Y/n back to the treeline and held her face in his hands, her eyes glistening with tears. "I want you to run, okay? I can't let you get hurt" - "Yes, I know you love Joel but you need to protect yourself at all costs, angel." With that, Tommy kissed the crown of Y/n's head and proceeded to walk over to the area he was supposed to meet his brother but before he could, Y/n tugged on his wrist and placed the pregnancy test in his hand. "Tell Joel I'm sorry and that I will love him until my last breath." Then she was gone. Tommy stared at the plastic stick in his hand, he swore he could hear his heart shatter.

Bang! A gunshot ripped through the air, cries and screams followed shortly after. "You're okay, baby girl. You're okay" - "I know it hurts but you gotta let me pick you up, okay baby?" Joel looked over to his brother, begging him to help but all Tommy could do was stand there looking lost. Sarah died in her fathers arms that night, her blood staining Joel's clothes and skin. He lost his daughter and his wife was probably dead, Tommy told him they got separated on their way to the river. "Before we got separated - she um, she told me to hang on to this for you, I know it's shit timing but I'm sure she would want you to know either way." Tommy gave his brother the pregnancy test, Joel took it with shaky hands as he stared in disbelief. He didn't know if he should be happy or angry, his daughter was dead but there was a chance he could still have some light in his life, only if he could find his love.

20 years had passed since that fateful day. Y/n had been on her own for majority of the apocalypse, she gave birth to her daughter, Amelia, in a QZ in Atlanta. Y/n tried her best to do everything she could to provide as much of a normal life for her daughter but it was hard, it was hard without Joel or Tommy by her side. So when Amelia turned 16, she was taught how to use a gun and how to take down infected when it was necessary. Y/n had snuck out of the QZ one day with her now 19 year old daughter, and started heading in the direction of the only place she knew could keep her and her daughter safe. Wyoming.

The trek was long, Amelia begged her mother to let her take watch so Y/n could rest but she always waved her daughter off, she would destroy everything if anything were to ever happen to her baby. After 4 days of nonstop walking, they finally made it to Wyoming, but that was only the start. They had to make their way to Cody and find where Tommy was holed up this time, he cut all radio contact a couple weeks ago and it scared Y/n, Tommy was all she had left of her old life and she wasn't willing to give that up.

Amelia and Y/n had ran in to an elderly couple living in a cabin in the forest, they had kindly given them directions to where the two women needed to go, not without warning though. Y/n had bid her farewell to the elders and set off with her daughter in the direction of what she hoped to be the direction of Tommy's settlement. After getting past the "River of death", Amelia turned to her mother and pointed at a small camp fire in one of the cave by the river, Y/n being on guard when it came to other people being close, she grabbed her daughters wrist and pulled her along, telling her to just keep moving.

It was dusk by the time Y/n and Amelia had made it passed another river, they were going to continue when they heard footsteps approaching and the sounds of hooves in the distance. Y/n pulled her daughter close and drew her gun, aiming it in the direction of the fast approaching footsteps. After a couple minutes, a young brown eyed girl comes around the corner, she's with an older man, once she notices two guns pointed at her and her travelling partner, her eyes go wide and she fumbles for her own gun.

"Drop your guns or we will shoot." A soft Texan accent rips through the crisp air, Joel's ears perk up, he hasn't heard that voice in a long long time. He studies the older woman, taking in how her skin is paler in comparison to his own, her long hair hidden under a hat. Before he could say anything, the sound of an army of horses came galloping in their direction. Joel pushed Ellie behind him, he can't let anything happen to her, not after what happened to Sarah.

"Put your guns down." The four people huddled in the middle of these thugs on horses, obeyed and dropped their guns to the ground. "Have any of you been around infected?" - "Now don't lie either, because my little helper here will rip you apart if he smells anything on you." Y/n and Amelia let the dog gladly sniff them and give them a quick once over before moving over to the other two behind them. The deep growl made a shiver run down Y/n's spine, she gripped onto her daughters hand, keeping her as close as possible. The dog had settled down after a couple seconds and Ellie had began laughing as he licked her face. "Well it looks like you've bought yourselves an extra 10 seconds." - "What are you doing here?"

Y/n let out a shaky breath before speaking but Joel had also spoke at the same time. "I'm here for Tommy" - "I'm looking for my brother." Joel looked over at Y/n, his assumptions had to be true, he finally found his wife after 20 years. The group rode horseback to the settlement, leading who seemed to be the one in charge. It took about half an hour til they had arrived at the big wooden gates of Jackson. The gates had opened with a soft creak, the group of riders making their way into the settlement. Joel looked around, his eyes locked onto his brother; who was standing on some stairs helping fix something.

"Tommy!" Joel called out, catching the attention of not only his brother but Y/n and some others in the community. "What are you doing here man?" Tommy had a huge smile on his face, Joel brought him into a hug patting his brothers back before breaking apart. "I came to save you, of course." That earned a chuckle from his younger brother. "Who's that you brought with you?" Tommy asked pointing at Ellie, Joel shook his head telling his brother he would talk to him about it later.

Y/n hopped down off her horse, Amelia trailing behind her mother hands stuffed into her jacket pockets. "Tommy?" Her voice still sounded like thick, sweet honey. Tommy whipped his head in the direction of the voice, his smile faltering before he wrapped the smaller woman up in his arms, he clung to her as if she would disappear if he let go. "Now what are you doing here, angel? Last I heard, you were still in Atlanta." Y/n smiled up at Tommy, telling him everything that had happened in the QZ and asking if she could seek refuge in Jackson with Amelia. Tommy instantly welcomed them in, he was glad to have his family back.

Joel and Ellie were in the mess hall with Tommy and Maria when Joel had noticed Y/n and Amelia join them, he still couldn't figure out if it was her or not. So he just went for it and called out the nickname only he would call her, he hoped she would react to it. "Sweet pea? Is that you?" Y/n's head snapped up and stared at Joel, tears rimming her eyes. Her lip quivered as she stared at the man she thought she would never see again. "Joel? Baby, where have you been?" The tears had fallen then, sobs wracked her body as she clung to her husbands body, 20 years without the love of her life had fucked her up but she glad she can finally introduce her daughter to her father.

Once Y/n had pulled away she motioned for Amelia to come over. "Joel, my love, this is Amelia. She's - she's your daughter." Joel looked at Amelia, she had his eyes and Y/n's hair, the perfect mix between both. He held her in his arms for what seemed like forever, he finally had his family back but he will always feel that loss for Sarah. Joel could finally be happy again, he had his daughter and his wife, but most importantly, he had an annoying little shit bird of a 14 year old whom he loved like his own. Joel Miller finally got his happy ending, that's all he ever wanted.

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