#at least until I’m done with this round of stuff then we can have feelings again it’s fine lol

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Daughter of the Rain and Snow

Concept: Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.

Tags: @wraith--2 @lunarthecorvus @just2bubbly @real-fragments7 @cartoon-clifford @origami-butterfly @lady-a-stuff @thelibraryofalexandriastillburns @inej-ghafa-deserves-the-world @thatdelusionalnerd

If anyone wants to be added let me know :)

Content Warnings: in more general terms I want to remind people to be aware of the nature of Kaz and Inej's experiences and relationship since even if I'm not directly addressing these things they tend to be implicit in any writing about them, but specifically to this chapter there's ptsd references, anxiety, violence references, blood, wounds, and fear of losing loved ones

Note: Oh my goodness we only have the epilogue left to go... this is insane I can't believe we've reached the end

AO3 link: Daughter of the Rain and Snow - Chapter 145 - She_posts_nerdy_stuff - Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo [Archive of Our Own]

Chapter 144 - Kaz

At least the Crow Club was back in working order. Beyond that things weren’t looking at their best. Kaz knew from Anika and Pim’s reports that the damage was mostly repaired and they’d reopened the closed wing a few months ago, but he also knew from the income reports Yara had been sending him  that they’d taken a hit. Her projections looked sunnier for next month, but Kaz wasn’t feeling particularly confident. There was a nervous energy about the Slat when he walked in, still as rowdy as it usually was in these early hours of the morning but with a slightly frantic edge. Kaz had known his extended absence would take a toll, but he’d tried to keep in control of what he could. 

“I assume there are rumours going round about -”

“Your mysterious disappearance? Yeah,” said Anika, “We’re treading water trynna cover up for you being missing,”

“Anyone get wise?”

“To the fact you weren’t here or to what you were actually up to?”

Kaz shot her an unamused glare. Clearly he needed to stop telling Anika up to 50% of the truth, because she was getting too good at picking up what the rest of it was. 

“I don’t think so,” she said, “Not with any proof you weren’t around. Few people here and there are convinced you’re dead,”

That didn’t particularly surprise him.

“Any attempts at territory grabs since you last wrote?”

“Liddies are still riled up, but nothing new except a pretty hollow looking threat from Black Tips,”

Kaz sighed. They weren’t staying in Ketterdam for long, he’d have to get through work quickly and make a few choice appearances if he could spare the time.

As far as Kaz and Inej knew, the plan was for them to drop in on Jesper and Wylan for the afternoon, then go to the house overnight whilst Nina stayed on the Geldstradt. They didn’t have the space to have her at the house by the harbour - especially when Alyssa was staying with them too - and anyway she would only be kept up all night by Sadja. But apparently Jesper and Wylan had other plans, as soon as they were through the door it was all but a demand they at least stay there the first night. They’d even set up a room for Alyssa upstairs, so she was close if Inej or Sadja needed her.

“How are you feeling?” Kaz had asked, watching Inej’s hand find the railing on the porch of the Hendriks house.

“I’m fine,”

Kaz shook his head, looking down at Sadja.

“Once you can talk I’m going to teach you to shout at your Mama every time she says that,” he told her, gently readjusting the sling in hopes of helping her settle.

Nina laughed.

Sadja had done well on the boat, Kaz thought, for a stubborn two month old who had never travelled further than the Grand Palace until a couple of weeks ago, but she hadn’t slept well last night and still didn’t seem to be interested in sleeping now.

“Kaz, really,” said Inej, shaking her head, “I’m okay. I’m just tired,”

Kaz nodded, but he and Nina had shared a brief glance. Inej rang the doorbell and Sadja immediately jutted out her bottom lip in indignation; for a moment Kaz thought she was going to cry but she settled again, still looking a little grumpy. He readjusted his cane so that he could remain balanced whilst he offered her his finger, and once she’d acknowledged it he gently rubbed his hand up and down her tiny tummy.

“Do you not like doorbells, Sadja?”

“I think it’s quite normal for babies not to like loud noises, Kaz,” said Nina, peering over the sling, “You’re okay, aren’t you Sadja? You’re a brave little muffin,”

“Brave little muffin?” asked Kaz.

“Hey, that is just about the highest compliment I’ve ever given anyone,”

“Well, you are brave aren’t you Sadja? You’re just like your Mama,”

She wriggled a little in the sling, as though she was trying to look up at him properly, and smiled. Kaz glowed. 

The door had barely been opened when they were met by the practically shouted words:

“Where’s my niece?”

“Well, hello to you too, Jesper,” said Inej, sharing his soft laugh.

She leaned into the arm he offered and he kissed her on the cheek, ushering her over the doorstep. Kaz followed, nodding at Jesper.

“Saints, I’ve missed you,” said Jesper, hugging Inej again.

“Oh, I’ve missed you too,”

Nina cleared her throat, glaring teasingly at Jesper. He threw an arm around her shoulders.

“I’ve missed you too, darling, obviously. And I guess I missed you Kaz,”

“Always with the compliments,”

Where’s Wylan?” asked Inej.

“Couldn’t get out of a meeting,” Jesper replied, shaking his head, “He won’t be long. Now, where’s this little Sadja you’ve been withholding from me?”

“Withholding-? She’s only been alive two months - and you were in Novyi Zem for one and a half of them,”

“Withholding,” Jesper repeated

Inej laughed. Kaz gently scooped Sadja out of her sling and into his arms, rocking her for a moment before he passed her to Inej so Jesper could lean over and greet her. He looked like he was about to burst with glee.

“Oh my goodness, you two she’s so beautiful. Aren’t you? Yes you are, yes you are,”

Jesper looked up at Kaz and Inej, grinning.

“She’s wonderful,”

“She most certainly is,” Kaz smiled, pushing the door to behind him before they walked together towards the living room, “It’s good to see you, Jes,”

“You too. And honestly you with a baby is quite possibly both the funniest and cutest thing I have ever seen, so thank you for that,”

Nina snorted. Kaz glared at them both. 

“And how are you?” Jesper had asked Inej, as they sat on the sofa together.

It was about twenty minutes later and Wylan had just got back, all apologies for being late and overjoyed to see them all again. He was now sitting in between Inej and Kiada with Sadja in his arms, smiling.

“Well, I haven’t slept in about two months,” Inej smiled, leaning her head onto Jesper’s shoulder, “But other than that I’m doing pretty well. How are you? - How was Novyi Zem?”

“I’m good, we’re all pretty good at the minute, actually. And Novyi Zem was lovely, good to see my Da, and everyone did a very good job,” he squeezed Aimee’s hand lightly, from where she was perching on the arm of the sofa next to him, “There were a few moments where we thought we’d have to come home early - that was always in the plan as an option, if anyone needed it - but we ended up staying the whole time,”

“How’s Colm?” asked Nina, leaning forwards to pick her coffee up from the table.

The conversation floated on, and Kaz had drifted in and out of paying attention to it as he kept his eyes on Sadja. She started wriggling uncomfortably and Wylan passed her back to Inej, then a moment passed before she started crying. 

“Is she alright?” asked Kaz.

“She’s just hungry,” said Inej, looking at Kaz in a way that meant calm down, she’s a baby, she’s going to cry, you do not need to worry as she stood up and gently rocked Sadja against her chest, whispering to her in Suli, “I’ll take her upstairs,”

At some point, Kaz wasn’t exactly sure how long it had been, it was only him, Nina, and Jesper still sitting in the living room. Focus had switched freely: the trip to Novyi Zem - two weeks with Colm followed by a month and a half through in Weddle and Shriftport, then another two weeks with Colm - Kiada had struggled with the boat, Aimee had struggled on the farm, Kiada has struggled in Weddle; news on the Ravkans and their new little prince and princess, twins about three months older than Sadja; Clemmie Boscht had started renting an apartment in the city and came to the house to share roast dinner with the family once a month; updates on something Kaz had forgotten to pay attention to as he was wondering how long Inej and Sadja had been gone and if he should go upstairs to find them. Now Nina was asking about wedding plans - the original date should have been last month, but it hadn’t been set in stone when Kaz and Inej first went to Ravka so Jesper and Wylan had decided to postpone and visit Jesper’s father instead of him coming out to them. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jesper was saying, “Nothing will ever make up for the fact that Kaz Brekker got married before I did,”

Nina flopped against the back cushions of the sofa.

“Yeah, it’s a real blow to the ego isn’t it?”

“Aren’t you two just the height of comedy?” said Kaz drily.

“To be fair, Jes,” Nina added, “I think we were all surprised you weren’t the first to get married. I mean how long had you two known each other before you moved in, two months?”

“No, well I really only joke,” said Jesper, glancing briefly at the door and lowering his voice, “Wylan told me ages ago he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get married, after everything with his parents he just kinda… lost faith in it,”

Jesper had told Kaz about it at the time. It was years ago, around the time of the Van Eck trial, and Wylan was having an unsurprisingly bad time of it. He said he’d burst into tears and told Jesper that it had been evil of him to trap him in a relationship that would never go anywhere, and that he could leave if he wanted to and Wylan would understand. Apparently Jesper had stared at him for almost a full minute, and then said:

“Wy, you’re seventeen,”

“Well, clearly,” Kaz had said, “You handled that well,”

“I helped him afterwards!” Jepser had cried defensively, “That was just my first thought,”

Now Kaz sat behind his desk at the Slat, flicking through the endless pile of papers laying in wait and watching the hands move on his timepiece. Almost five bells. He wanted to be back by six.

Sadja had woken up not long before three bells, screaming loud enough to bring the entire house down. Kaz fumbled in the dark, searching for his cane, before Inej turned on the gas lights and handed it to him, smiling and shaking her head. They sat next to each other on the side of the mattress as Sadja nursed, and for about half an hour afterwards Kaz was still rocking her slowly whilst Inej lowered the lights and lay back down. Sadja seemed on the verge of settling back to sleep and Kaz stood to return her to the cradle next to the bed, only for her to immediately start wailing again.

“Well I hope you’re not still hungry,” he said softly in Suli, giving her a gente bounce “I think Mama’s asleep,”

She flailed one of her tiny fists into the air and it whacked lightly against Kaz’s chest.

“Not bad form,” he told her, “But you need more strength behind it if you want to do real damage. We’ll work on that when you’re older. What can we do to help you sleep now though, hm?”

Sadja wriggled in his arm and Kaz moved to sit on one of the armchairs so he could set down his cane and support her more comfortably. 

“I don’t have anything new to read to you,” he said, “But I could tell you a story if you’d like,”

There was a pause broken only by Sadja’s impatient cries, before Inej’s soft voice came from the darkness on the other side of the room:

“You know the whole idea of us using one language each with her whilst she's still learning kind of depends on you speaking to her in Kerch, right?”

Kaz looked up.

“Inej? I thought you were asleep,”

“Kaz, if you think anyone could fall asleep through this then I have serious concerns about your hearing. And, again, you’re supposed to speak in Kerch,”

“I’m still not convinced that’s going to work,” he replied, “Isn’t she just going to hear us using both with each other anyway?”

Inej groaned.

“It’s three in the morning, Kaz, can we talk about this later?”

He laughed softly, nodding though he wasn’t sure if she’d see in the dark. He’d known that he needed to go to the Slat - the last word from Anika and Pim had been concerningly vague -  but he could stay here a little while yet, couldn’t he? What harm would it do, just to stay here for a little longer? He sighed.

“You need to go, don’t you?”

He didn’t know how she did that.

“It can wait until tomorrow,”

“You can’t,” said Inej, quietly, “Go on. I’ll get her settled, just don’t be long, okay?”

“Never,”

He really needed to stop watching the clock, or he wouldn’t get anything done and have to bully himself into staying longer. It was a good while past five bells when he left, ignoring the shouts for attention that followed him from the crowd. The Hendriks house was mostly still sleeping, though Wylan was unsurprisingly up and in the kitchen making coffee by the time Kaz arrived at six bells. Inej was awake but she was still upstairs, not long dressed and part way through brushing her hair when Kaz knocked softly on the door. She opened it slowly, pressing a finger to her lips as he slipped inside.

“Sadja’s asleep,”

Kaz stood over the cradle for a moment, watching her. She really was perfect. Inej appeared next to him, her arm slipping around his waist once he’d nodded confirmation. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“She already looks like you,” she whispered.

Kaz shook his head.

“She’s beautiful. That’s all you,”

Inej shook her head then, her hand finding his and slipping beneath the rim so her fingers brushed his wrist. Kaz’s heart leapt, thinking of holding her on the floor almost a year ago, a knife in her gut and her blood soaking over both of them. He swallowed and she felt him tense, starting to pull away to give him space. His fingers tightened over hers, holding her to him. 

“We’ve not…” she hesitated, “We’ve not talked about a plan for where to live. For what to do next,”

Kaz had been avoiding the conversation, because he didn’t actually know what he was going to say. But it was a year ago when he couldn’t tell her everything he’d thought he should be able to say by now - 

Their happiness, together. In Kerch, in Ravka, they could move to the permafrost in Fjerda for all he cared. He would carve a life for her in the face of a mountain, if that was what she wanted.

- and so much had changed since then. He should be able to tell her that now. And he did.

Inej turned and leaned her face up towards his, glowing in the soft dancing light of dawn leaking through the window, her dark eyes shimmering. She lifted a hand up to cup his cheek, and slowly they leaned into each other. Their foreheads pressed against each other, Kaz’s hand slipped down Inej’s back, and their lips met in the warmth of spring and joy and a family that for so long Kaz had convinced himself he didn’t want, because he never thought he’d be able to find it. 

The entire world was golden.

#Should I post the epilogue tonight too or leave y'all with one last bit of suspense??? #(it's already written btw) #maya olsen oc #no beta read #six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #kanej #kanej fanfiction #kanej fic #kanej supremacy #kaz x inej #kanej kiss #kanej fluff #kanej baby #grishaverse oc #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse fandom #soc f #soc fanfiction #soc fandom #soc fic #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fandom

[watchmegetobsessed]

JUST HOW FAST THE NIGHT CHANGES (part 2)

A/N: okay okay part 2! here we are!! my progress about the story is not as fast as i would like it but im trying my best!! feedback is always appreciated!

PAIRING: Harry x High-School-Best-Friend!Reader

WORD COUNT: 3.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

Harry has thought of seeing you again so many times in the past months, he imagined this moment when he lied in bed, counting the days until he meets you again after all this time, but seeing you in real life is nothing like his daydreams. 

You’ve changed so much, yet he can see the version of you he last saw clearly too. Your facial features have matured, your hair is longer than he was expecting, though he only saw pictures of you from the past years. You have a black wrap-around dress on that’s hugging your curves that look absolutely delicious. 

It’s pretty obvious you’ve put on some weight and judging from the way you nervously keep fixing your dress every other second, it’s something you feel insecure about, but Harry cannot take his eyes off you and he forces himself to tame his already wandering thoughts. 

“Dude, close your mouth!” Beckham walks up to Harry, patting his shoulder to snap him out of his trance. 

“Shut up,” he mumbles under his breath, averting his eyes from you, but it only takes a few seconds before his gaze returns.

“Go say hi,” Beckham encourages him, but he shakes his head no.

“Later. I don’t… I don’t think I’m the person she wants to see the most.”

Beckham laughs as he walks away with his beer while Harry returns to his seat that’s not as close to yours as he would want it to be, but at least you’re on opposite sides, so he can keep an eye on you as the dinner finally starts. He can faintly hear your voice over the chatter every time you speak up or laugh at something and he wishes he was part of the conversation as well, sitting next to you instead of sneakily stealing glances.

Sometime after the main course and before the dessert it’s suggested that everyone say a short little summary of what happened to them in the past decade, and the round starts, everyone curiously listening to what their old pals are saying. 

“Um, hi,” Harry chuckles awkwardly when it’s his turn. “Well, I’ve had a pretty busy couple of years,” he grins, making everyone laugh. “I don’t know what I can say that you can’t read online, but let’s pretend you know nothing. So I just published my third solo album not long ago, I’ve been really enjoying experimenting with music on my own, though I loved my time in the band as well. I’m working on new stuff lately and I still have part of the tour coming up. I’m doing good, it’s all good,” he nods to himself before smiling around and giving the word to the next person. 

While he is interested in what everyone has to say, he is mostly looking forward to your turn finally so he can shamelessly stare at you while you talk.

“Hi everyone,” you smile nervously around, squaring your shoulders as attention turns to you. “Um, I don’t really know where to start. I started marketing at college, but I didn’t really like it and I was learning coding at the time so I thought I would start a career in that field. I went to an intense training so now I mostly make websites, but I do other stuff too. Um… I live here in London as most of us do now,” she chuckles, the class sharing her smile. “Nothing… Nothing else to share, really,” she adds in a mumble and looks to her right, signaling that she is done talking, it’s time for the next person.

It wasn’t enough. Harry wants to know more, everything if that’s possible and if it wasn’t for all the people around him, he would stand up and just sit beside you, asking you dozens of questions.

But he has to sit and wait patiently, pretend like you’re not the only one he is interested in the bunch. 

An entire hour passes by before he sees you slip away from the table and out to the back patio. Part of him tells him he shouldn’t follow you, but he just can’t stop himself. He excuses himself from the conversation and heads after you, hoping no one will notice him missing inside.

In the summer time there are tables outside as well with fairy lights creating a cozy mood, but it’s too cold right now to sit outside, so it’s only used by smokers occasionally. When Harry steps out as he slips into his coat he spots you right away in the corner, scrolling on your phone as you’re probably having a break. Even when you were younger, you often told him your social batteries easily run out and those were the times Harry gladly sat outside with you until you felt comfortable enough to go back inside. Seems like not much has changed. 

“Hey,” he breathes out and watches your eyes widen when you realize he came after you.

“H-Hi!” you clear your throat, slipping your phone back into your pocket.

“Having a social break?” he smiles warmly, standing only a few feet away from you.

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

There’s a bit of a pause where you’re not too sure how to act with Harry right next to you and he is stunned as well. There’s so much he wants to say and do, but he doesn’t know how you’d react. He doesn’t know about a lot of things when it comes to you but he is determined to change that. 

“So… how have you been?” he asks at last, the ure to speak up taking over the silence.

“Um, I’m fine. Fine, yeah,” you nod. 

“Do you still work at that civil organization, or…?”

“You know I worked there?” you ask, the surprise is pretty apparent on your face. 

“Of course,” he smiles softly, a blush tinting his cheeks. 

“Uh, I’m not there anymore. I work for a bigger company.”

“But still in marketing?”

“Yes,” you nod. “I can do more designing here on the side, that’s why I switched.”

“You like it?”

“It’s good. But work is work, you know, I was never the kind to be obsessed with my job.”

As you say that you realize he can’t know that, because you weren’t talking by the time you started working. It brings the awkwardness right back and he knows he needs to address some things before moving on.

“Y/N, I hope you know I didn’t… I didn’t want us to eventually stop talking. It’s just that so much happened, all at once and I didn’t take all of it the best way either. I should have focused more on my oldest friendships. I’m sorry, that’s what I’m trying to say.”

“It’s fine,” you shake your head with a weak smile. “People have fallouts all the time, it’s natural.”

But it wasn’t supposed to happen to us, Harry wants to say, but he bites his tongue. He shouldn’t bring everything up the first time you see each other.

“But we could start again,” he suggests, holding his breath as he watches your reaction to his words.

“Start again?”

“Yeah. I would… love to catch up with you, hear about everything I missed. Only if you want to tell me about it, of course.”

You stare back at him for way longer than he would have loved it and it convinces him it’s the part where you tell him to fuck off. He wouldn’t be surprised, you haven’t talked in ages and now he is so desperate to reconnect. You have every right not to want him back in your life even if you never had a fight that resulted in the fallout.

He is about to take back what he said, but you finally speak up.

“Okay,” is all you say with a tiny nod. 

He’s shocked, to say the least, even though he was hoping you’d say that. But seeing that small smile on your face is all he needs right now.

“Cool,” he breathes out. The door behind him opens and another guest walks out to have a smoke, making them realize they should probably return to the table. “Look, if you’re free sometime soon, I’m staying until the end of the month. We could have lunch, dinner or even breakfast,” he chuckles. “I would love to see you again and talk. Just the two of us.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

“Cool! Great!” he enthuses, probably more excited than he should be, but it doesn’t matter.

The two of you return to the table soon, no one really noticed that you slipped away, but it leaves Harry with a silly smile on his face that widens every time he looks at you again. Suddenly, he feels like a teenager all over again, he is in that basement with his best mates, just having fun, looking forward to spending some time alone with you.

Your bike rides home together were always his favorites, even the ones when you didn’t exchange a single word. He just loved seeing you by his side, the way you always squinted your eyes when the wind blew harder than usual, how you always checked back at him if he was behind you whenever you were about to cross a road. These are all tiny things that are etched into his memories probably forever.

Sometime towards the end of the evening Bee gathers your little group and asks to talk to you outside. You stand in a circle, everyone eyeing her suspiciously as she tries to hold her smile back, Lucas standing right behind her.

“So, there is something that we would like to share with you guys,” Bee starts and without any time to waste, she pulls out a ring from her pocket and slips it on her finger, holding it up, her grins stretching from ear to ear.

“Oh my God!” Chloe gasps as she realizes what it means. “Congratulations!”

It’s a shock, but not really. Bee and Lucas became an official item sometime before graduation, had a short break during college since Lucas studied abroad and long distance took a toll on them, but they found their way back not long after. Engagement was definitely the next step after they moved together three years ago and adopted a dog just last year.

But still, it’s shocking for Harry to see his old pals move on in life together. There’s a pang of jealousy in him too, but it’s overruled by the happiness.

There’s a round of hugs and congratulations before Bee reaches for her purse and pulls out a stack of envelopes.

“We want to invite you all to the wedding that’s gonna be held in June. You guys have been here from the start and it only feels right if you’re there with us on our big day.”

“Man, I might even start crying!” Joshua jokes, but Harry can see the shimmer in his eyes as he takes his invitation.

“Don’t get too mushy,” Lucas chuckles, patting his shoulder. 

Chloe is already talking Bee’s ears off about the wedding and offers to help with basically anything, while you’re examining the invitation card with a soft smile on your lips.

Harry’s excitement runs even higher when he realizes it’s gonna be another occasion where he’ll see you, though he plans to meet a few more times until June.

The night stretches long, it’s way past midnight when the last guests get ready to leave. Harry has been keeping an eye on you all evening in case you wanted to slip out, but you stayed until the end and he doesn’t hesitate to take this opportunity.

“Do you have a ride home?” he asks, when you’re putting your coat on.

“Um, I’ll just call an Uber or something.”

“We can share, I already called one.”

“Oh, okay, thanks.”

In front of the building everyone says their goodbye, heading their own way and you are left alone with Harry on the curb as the car pulls up.

“So when will you be free for that breakfast slash lunch slash dinner?” he asks, not wanting to miss the chance to see you again.

“I have to check my work schedule, but… I’ll text you, okay?” “Promise?” he arches his eyebrows.

“I promise.”

“Okay. Just so you know, if you ghost me I will come for you.”

“So you’re that desperate?” you chuckle and he just shrugs with a smirk.

“I’m just eager to start over and reconnect with you.”

“I’ll text you, don’t worry. My days are just… a bit hectic lately.”

He wants to ask you about it, would be even better if you just opened up about whatever it is that’s happening in your life, but he’s fine with what he got as well. He doesn’t want to be greedy. 

You make some small talk on the way to your place and when the car comes to a stop Harry is already looking forward to seeing you again. 

“Don’t forget about texting me!” he reminds you again, to which you exhale sharply.

“I actually keep my promises, Harry. Goodnight,” you say before hopping out of the car, leaving him too stunned to speak and the car drives away before he could even react. 

It was like a stab in his chest, your words ring in his head all the way until he arrives home and even after that. 

He pushed too hard. He wanted too much. His nagging was supposed to be just a joke, but apparently, he should have been more careful, because your reaction was sharp and painful. But he deserved it, he knows, because what you said… that was a reminder that he fucked up and he can’t just start all over again so quick and easily.

He wants to go back in time and take the words back, everything was going so well up until that point and now it feels like a setback. While in the shower he is composing a text to apologize for overstepping your boundaries and he is just about to type it out when his phone rings, your name on display. 

“Hi!” he answers, shocked to receive a call from you but also thankful that he can apologize.

“Hey.” Your voice is weak, but a lot lighter than it was in the car when you parted ways. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

“No, no, no, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he shakes his head, sitting on the edge of the bed and he wishes he could talk to you in person, see your face.

“It was rude. You’ve been so nice all evening, even asking to reconnect and I was… I was an asshole,” you sigh and he can imagine you closing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I kinda deserved it. It’s been long, Y/N, I shouldn’t have expected to just go back to being best friends. I pushed too hard, so if anyone has to be sorry, it should be me.”

There’s a long pause at your end of the call, Harry is dreading to hear your voice and make sure he didn’t fucked up royally.

“I’ve been kind of… moody lately. I should think about my words before talking.”

“Do you… want to talk about it?” he asks, but then realizes that it might be over the line too. “Only if you want to, you don’t have to share anything with me, I totally understand it.”

“Maybe some other time,” you quietly answer and Harry swallows down his greed to know more. “But… I’m free on Friday,” you add and his heart skips a beat.

“Friday is awesome!” he answers without even thinking through his schedule. If he has anything that day, he’ll surely cancel, nothing can be more important than meeting you again. “We could go out for dinner?”

“Can we… Is it possible not to go out?”

“Yeah,” he nods, though his chest tightens. Does this mean you don’t want to be seen out with him? He wouldn’t blame you, it would put you in the spotlight instantly. “Want to come over? I could cook something.”

“That sounds good. See you on Friday, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he manages to say before the call ends.

A week has never felt longer. Every waking moment was spent by counting the days until Harry could finally see you again. He planned out the whole evening the day after the reunion, from the meal to the outfit he would wear, he knew it all by Monday rolled around so he had to spend five days anxiously waiting for Friday. 

On Wednesday he has a few drinks with just the boys, Joshua, Beckham and Lucas, cheering on Lucas’ engagement and having some boytalk. Even though they kept in touch throughout the years, there’s still a lot to share. They are having a great time, lots of laughs and jokes are shared over their beer.

“Alright, I want to talk about something major,” Joshua smirks over his pint, his eyes finding Harry and he already knows it’s gonna be about you.

“Just ask it,” Harry chuckles.

“Can we talk about how you had the heart eyes for Y/N all evening at the reunion?”

“Like a lovesick puppy!” Beckham laughs, patting Harry on the back as he puts up with the teasing.

“It was nice seeing her again, what can I say?” Harry shrugs, but he can’t hold his smirk up, which earns another round of laughter from his friends.

“Oh, it was more than just nice, right?” Lucas grins with a knowing smirk.

“We shouldn’t be surprised though, you were so in love with her back then,” Beck scoffs as he leans back in his seat, folding his arms over his chest.

“Not in love, I was just…” Harry tries to explain himself, but fails.

“Just in love,” Lucas teases him.

“I might have had a crush on her, I admit. But it’s been a long time, we obviously changed a lot. It was great to reunite with her.”

“And you plan to reunite some more with her soon?” Joshua wiggles his eyebrows. 

“We’re actually meeting on Friday.”

“You little minx!” Beckham laughs. “Will you shoot your shot?”

“We literally just met again after almost a decade. There’s no shot to shoot.”

“Yeah, and maybe it’s better if you’re careful,” Lucas nods, but Harry doesn’t really understand what he meant by that.

“Careful?”

“Yeah, I mean, after what she went through…”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” Joshua asks, his gaze flickering between Harry and Lucas.

“What? Tell me what it is!”

“She got a divorce not long ago. Like, about a year ago,” Lucas says, keeping his voice down. 

“Huh? I didn’t even know she was married!”

It feels like a punch in the stomach, how he missed such a major event in your life. Not getting an invitation is one thing, but how did you manage to keep it so secret that he didn’t even know you were engaged?

“She kept it pretty low,” Beckham says. “I mean, the divorce and also the whole relationship.”

“Yeah, I didn’t even know about them until she was engaged,” Joshua shakes his head. 

“And what happened? Why did it end?”

Beckham and Joshua shrug their shoulders, but Lucas seems like he knows something. 

“Lucas? If Bee told you something…”

“I don’t know the whole story, okay? But as far as I know… he cheated on her.”

“Oh fuck,” Harry breathes out, his heart sinking instantly. 

“Pretty rough, yeah. But maybe don’t bring it up until she is ready to share it with you.”

“Yeah, sure,” he nods. 

The night carries on and they talk about anything and everything, but Harry’s mind stays stuck on you. To be more precise, your divorce he knew nothing about. It’s no surprise you are so reserved and moody, it must have been hard for you to go through it. He can only hope you had friends to rely on, Chloe or Bee at last if he wasn’t there for you.

Another thing to add to the list of things he should feel horrible about when it comes to you. 

At the end of the night he offers to share a ride with any of the boys and Beckham accepts, so they leave together. 

“I know it’s eating you away,” Beckham speaks up in the car. 

“Huh?”

“That you didn’t know about her divorce.”

“I wasn’t there for her, Beck. I should have been, but I didn’t even know she was engaged!”

“You weren’t talking, you couldn’t have known.”

“Yeah, but it was my fault we weren’t talking. I should have tried harder and… I should have kept my promise I made to her.”

Silence falls over the car as the passing lights illuminate their faces. Beckham is looking at Harry while Harry is staring straight ahead, his jaw jumping. 

“Look, you’ve made mistakes, it’s fine, totally human. If she is willing to meet you again, I’m sure she is not that mad at you, so it’s a good sign. You… Do you… want to, like… date her?”

Harry presses his lips together, thinking of his answer.

“It’s complicated, but… I think I still have feelings for her,” he admits, finally peeking at his friend. “Is that crazy? I mean, we were kids, can I actually still have… feelings for her?”

“Don’t underestimate your younger self. Look at Lucas. He’s been in love with Bee since forever and now they are getting married.”

Harr hums and nods in agreement, but there’s still a lot he needs to get clear in his head. Whatever it is that he feels for you, he wants to explore it but he also needs to be extremely careful now that he knows what you went through. And what if there’s more to it than the cheating? What if the guy did something else too that left you even more scarred? 

He wants answers, but he needs to be patient and give you time. 

Time, he couldn’t give you before.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles oneshot #harry styles oneshots #harry styles fluff #just how fast the night changes

[sensei-venus]

Baby Issues- (Poly! Demetri/Yasmine/Chubby!Reader)

(Unedited) (Yasmine being Yasmine, Strange Dreams, Pregnant Reader Mentioned, Demetri Sarcastic, Sweet Reader, Mention of Moon/Hawk) ( @gemini-sensei )

“Awe Yas don’t act like that! Isn’t he the cutest little baby you have ever seen?!” Reader gushed as she held the newest member of the Moskowitz family. She gently bounced the little Moskowitz boy in her arms. He gargled a little and tried to tech for her face. A smile spreed across her lips as she made little sounds at him.

Yasmine rolled her eyes a little and looked over at Demetri. He only gave her a blank look before going back to his conversation with Hawk. Moon gave a small laugh as she watched her friends face turn.

The blond was never great at hiding her emotions and Moon loved that. She always seemed to know what Yasmine was thinking.

“Oh come on now Yas, you’re going to want one of your own soon enough. I can feel it in my bones.”

Yasmine snorted “I think I’m good for the moment. All babies do are eat sleep and poop. Oh and make huge messes, they throw up on you and poop on you and even pee on you! You think I want that right now? Uhh no thanks.” She withered at the thought. Baby’s were a hassle and she wanted no part of it. At least not right now.

Everything seemed to be going so good for her right now.

She was doing great in design school at a very high in college in the area. In a fast track to early graduation from her program. Reader finished her schooling already and was working a nice remote job from home. Demetri was doing great at his start up tech company. He just got a promotion along with a hefty raise. Not to even mention the fact that her parents had paid off the comfortable house they had started to rent but now own after their wedding only about a year ago.

They did not need to be thinking about babies.

————————————————————-

Well that’s what she thought at first.

But days after the trip to Hawk and Moon’s place, it’s all she could think about.

It started the night they got home from the couples house after a very long visit.

Yas had just gotten done with her skin care routine in the bathroom when she walked into their room. Reader was in bed with Demetri talking about the days events. She was wearing her cute little night gown while telling the man all about how cute the baby was. Going on and on about how adorable he was, how she could see a mix of both Moon and Hawk in the little one. It was adorable to see her so worked up over something.

Demetri just sat there with a small smile while listening to her. His eyes half closed as he got more and more tired. Her rambling was quite cute though.

“He was so tiny! He’s a healthy little guy but he felt so small in my arms! I wonder if all babies feel like that?”

“Do you think he eats alot? I know baby’s have tiny stomachs at first and I never asked Moon about it. She probably knows that stuff better than I do.”

“Do you think we should get them a baby basket or something? I know we got them stuff when we went to the baby shower but who knows. Maybe they already need more diapers and wipes- oh what about clothes? Should we get them more clothes?”

The comments just continued for the rest of the night until the lights finally turned off and they all fell asleep.

But then Yasmine’s dreams started to get weird everytime she fell asleep. Dreams of random things, stupid dreams, funny dreams, sweet dreams, all of those were gone. Replaced by ones of Reader. Weird dreams, in Yas’s opinion, that were never brought up in her mind before.

“He’s kicking, Yas feel!” Reader giggled while reaching out for Yasmine’s hand. Demetri was already by her side feeling her belly. Yasmine’s eyes grew wide as she looked at her wife. Her once chubby and soft belly was now round and hard. Popping out in the nice dress she was wearing. Demetri grinned as his hand creased her tight belly. Yas’s hand was pulled over to be placed on Reader’s belly. Her cheeks grew red at the strange feeling.

For a moment in time she could swear she felt something move under the skin.

“I can’t wait to meet him. I can’t wait for us to finally get me out son.”

Yasmine woke up with a slight gasp. Her eye lids shot open. She rolled over, looking towards where her husband and wife were sleeping next to her. The darkness of the room hide them from her but she knew they were there. With no hesitation her hand quickly scanned over the body next to her.

Soft skin drifted under her finger tips, soft rolls over the belly she traces. She could feel the way Reader softly breathed under her fingers.

Her fingers soon dug ever so lightly into the soft belly of her wife.

Nothing stuck out to her, no hardness, no bump.

No movement of any kind.

Her eyes fluttered back closed.

————————————————————

Yasmine gripped at the tiny tin foil packet that she grabbed from the bathroom cabinet. She flipped it around a little. There were already multiple small punches in the foil. Multiple pills already gone from the days before.

The sound of feet walking though the bedroom echoed into the bath. They stopped at the doorway, a voice filled the room.

“Oh are you looking for your birth control pills? I think they are next to mine in there. I think those are mine.” Reader said sweetly as she entered the big bathroom. Yasmine held herself back from almost dropping the small tin. She nodded before stuff the tin back into the cabinet. She didn’t even look at the other girl as she flees the bathroom.

Reader watches in confusion as she leaves.

She didn’t even take her own pills with her.

—————————————————————

“Why would you even think that!?” Yasmine screeched from her side of the bed. She had basically cocooned herself in one of their blankets at this point. She almost hissed at the other two people in the room.

“Babe you have been acting strange for weeks now. We just want to know what’s wrong with you.” Demetri replied as he sat on the edge of the bed. Reader slowly moved to roll over on the bed and lay next to the girl.

“Yas you have been so…unfocused the past few weeks that it has us worried. We can’t even have sex without you acting all weird about it. We just want to know what’s wrong.”

“She has been acting weird, especially during sex…” Demetri mumbled.

Minutes passed in a long silent pause.

Something seemed to click in Reader’s mind.

“Yasmine….do you want to have a baby?” Her words were filled with pure curiosity. A new look of interest crossed her face. She smiled as Yasmine retreated even further back into her little blanket cocoon. Face fully a blazed by now.

Demetri pulled himself onto the bed more, resting by Yasmine’s feet. With a brow raised he looked to Reader saying “Yasmine? Wanting a baby? Wasn’t she just saying she didn’t want one, especially right now just a few weeks ago when it was brought up?” Yasmine couldn’t take it anymore. The constant talking and false ideas were starting to get to her.

“It’s not me! I don’t want have a baby! I want Reader too! I want Reader to get pregnant okay! Why do the both of you have to be so dumb, especially you, you stupid nerd!” Yasmine screamed and rolled over. She shoved her face into one of the pillows. She wanted to scream right now. She had just confessed one of her deepest secrets. One of her deepest ideas that she had been struggling with for almost a month now. Thats all she wanted right now.

She wanted to see Reader all swollen with Demetri’s baby. She wanted to hold THEIR baby. She wanted to see Reader coo and baby talk their little one and not the Moskowitz kid.

She just wanted their baby.

“Is that really what all of this has been about? You want me to get pregnant?” Reader said ever so softly as she cuddled into the girls side. Demetri was quick to do the same. He crawled across the bed as wrapped an arm around the two women. His long arms stretched to pull them both in, Yasmine groaned as she was pulled up out of her small ball. A grin fell on his lips as she looked down at her.

“You want me to get Reader pregnant?”

“Don’t you even fucking start.”

“Yasmine I’m being serious about this. Is this really why you have been acting so funny?” Demetri said in a serious tone. His eyes where trained on hers, love and affection where the only things he gave off. No humors tone no judgment filled their voices as they looked for her real answer. 

There was no hiding the truth anymore. Reader had hit the nail on the head.

“Maybe. Okay yes, that’s why. All I keep thinking about is Reader having our baby. Ever since we went over to see the Moskowitz baby it’s the only thing I have been able to think about. At first I didn’t want a baby. Mostly because baby’s are a lot of work and I was a little scared and also we have all been doing so well recently. Wool and school and been doing so great for all of us, a baby would complicate all of that for us. But then I started really thinking about it.” She paused before going on. “What if we CAN have a baby? What if this is actually the perfect time for us to have one? We have money, a home, time, we could do it. I just know we can.”

She unraveled herself from her blanket and sat up.

“I keep thinking of Reader holding our baby too and I love it. I can’t stop thinking about how much we would love them. How well taken care of they would be with us as their parents. I know Reader would be such a good mama and Demetri would be such a good daddy too.”

Reader held the girl tighter “You know you would be a great mom too right.” She giggled a little.

“So we should start trying for a baby then?” Demetri remarked which caused Yasmine to hit him softly in the chest. He groaned a little and backed off.

“Don’t even try to start something with me right now.”



#cobra kai #cobra kai blog #cobra kai ask blog #cobra kai headcanons #cobra kai imagine #poly demetri and yasmine #yasmine x chubby reader #yasmine x reader #yasmine cobra kai #cobra kai yasmine #demetri alexopoulos x reader #demetri x reader #cobra kai demetri #demetri alexopoulos #demetri cobra kai #chubby reader #cobra kai x chubby reader #cobra kai x reader #cobra kai x plus size reader #pregnant reader

[lucy90712]

Pedri- Messy

WC: 2.2k

I thought moving in with Pedri would be great we spent so much time together that it just made sense to officially move in together. I was always at his during the day and barely even slept at my place so it felt stupid paying the rent to only be there for a few hours a week. I thought it would be a simple transition as I thought I knew pretty much everything there is to know about Pedri but I was wrong. Turns out Pedri has been hiding the fact that he's actually a complete mess most of the time. He must have actually bothered to put things away or tidy when I was just visiting but now I've moved in he's stopped that and the place is a constant mess.

Everyday I come home from work and spend at least an hour washing dishes or picking up Pedri's training kit that he's just leaves all over the place. Today is my day off and usually I would do things I like to do such as go to the gym, read a book or catch up on my favourite shows but today I had to clean. I've been doing loads of overtime this week as I had a big deadline so I haven't been able to do the tidying I would do each day and now the whole house is a mess to the point that I can't stand to look at it any longer. It was hard to know where to even begin but after walking around to get ready I decided the best way forward was to start with all of my things and then work through each room.

Over the course of the day I went round and tidied then deep cleaned each room as the place was very much in need of it. It took me all day I was at it from when Pedri left for training to when he came back after meetings and other filming he had to do. By the time I was done my back and arms were hurting from the constant bending down and scrubbing. As much as it was hard work it felt so good to have it done and see all my hard work pay off as the house was truly spotless for probably the first time since Pedri moved in.

Just as I finished putting away all my cleaning supplies the door opened and Pedri came in and put his bag on the floor to come and give me a hug and a few kisses which were much appreciated. After greeting me he headed upstairs to change taking his bag with him but leaving his shoes and his boots in the middle of the entrance which any other day might not bother me but today annoyed me a bit. I put them where they are supposed to be and then headed upstairs myself to go and change as I had got a bit sweaty from cleaning. When I got to our bedroom I almost had a heart attack as yet again Pedri's stuff was everywhere and he had messed up everything I had organised neatly on his side of the room. Although it really wasn't that big of a deal it physically hurt to see everything that I had done all day be ruined in a matter of minutes. I could feel anger bubbling up inside of me as not only did Pedri not acknowledge that I had even cleaned the place he just went and made it a mess again expecting me to clean it up at some point like I'm some sort of maid and not his girlfriend.

"Baby can you put this stuff away please?" I asked him as nicely as I could as I entered the room

He completely ignored me and kept looking through his draws for something specific. The longer he ignored me the angrier I got but I didn't want to start an argument so I turned away to try and calm myself down until he actually spoke.

"Why do you always do this where the fuck have you put everything" he yelled

"Woah don't yell at me what are you looking for?" I asked angrily

"It doesn't even matter why are you so obsessed with putting everything in a certain place I hate it just leave my stuff where it is" he continued to yell

"But the place is a constant mess Pedri I can't live like that I cleaned this entire place today and all you do is come home and mess it up" I argued

"Well if you didn't hide all my stuff then the place wouldn't be such a mess" he retorted

"But it would be I'm the only one who ever picks anything up don't tell me you haven't noticed the state of the place this week when I've been too busy to clean I have turned into your maid Pedri not your girlfriend" I said

"I never asked you to do it so don't complain to me about it" he said

We were only going to keep fighting and getting angrier until we both said things we would regret so I decided to just walk out. On my way out I grabbed my phone and keys before just sitting in my car trying to decide where to go while thinking about everything that just happened. In the end I decided to go to Gavi's place as the two of us are really close plus he should be home. Along the way I calmed down so I wasn't so angry anymore instead my anger turned into sadness as I felt tears brimming in my eyes. Pedri and I never argue so when we do it always feels awful and now we have moved in together I worry about us drifting apart and eventually splitting up.

By the time I actually made it to Gavi's the tears had started falling even though it's only a short journey. Before actually going to the door I tried to wipe the ears from my face and hide the redness as I know Gavi will worry if I turn up crying but it didn't really work. When I actually knocked on the door I started to hope Gavi wasn't in. I mean why did I choose to to go to Pedri's best friends place after an argument we might be close but there's no way he'd take my side and even if he did I don't want to ruin their friendship. Before I could turn around and get back in my car the door opened and Gavi looked at me for a second before pulling me straight into a hug. When he pulled away he led me inside and sat down next to me on the sofa in silence for a few moments before starting to speak.

"What did he do?" Gavi asked

"Nothing we just had an argument and I needed to go somewhere before it went too far" I lied

"Now I know that's a lie you wouldn't be so upset if it was just an argument" he said

"Fine since we moved in together I noticed that Pedri never cleans up anything and usually I do it but this week I've been so busy with work that it all built up so today I deep cleaned everything and then when Pedri came home he just made a complete mess of everything I just feel like he doesn't appreciate me making an effort to keep the place clean" I ranted

"So he's being an asshole just like I expected" Gavi joked

"Yeah I guess so" I replied

"Look Pedri can be annoying but trust me he loves and appreciates you he is just very set in his ways and clearly having the place be a mess is one of them over time he will change I promise but in the meantime you have to get used to messy Pedri" he explained

"Thanks Gavi hearing that makes me feel better" I said

Pedri's POV

I was arguing with y/n when it just went quiet so I stopped what I was doing to find her as she never usually just walks away without saying anything. Just as I was about to head downstairs to see if she was down there I heard the front door shut which meant she had really just left in the middle of a fight. It made me more angry that she would just leave and not try and work through this as we never fight but when we do she always makes sure we don't stay angry at each other. As I thought about it more instead of staying angry I felt really bad especially when I went back into the bedroom and saw how much of a mess it was.

Y/n has spent her day off cleaning instead of doing what she wants and I can't even keep it tidy for more than 5 minutes. I know I'm not the tidiest person in the world and I always just leave things places but I always know where everything is but y/n has always been very neat and likes things to have their place. Before we moved in together I used to actually clean a bit more as I wanted to make her feel comfortable staying with me but since she has officially moved in I stopped trying and went back to my old ways. I have noticed that each day when I come home the place is cleaner than when I left which doesn't happen magically so y/n spends her free time doing that even though I know cleaning isn't her favourite thing to do.

Of course I had to go and start an argument just because I was in a bad mood and couldn't find what I wanted. I just feel awful that I shouted at her for something that's really my own fault after she put in all that work all day. All I wanted was to tell her how sorry I was but she left for a reason so I know I need to give her some time to calm down before I either wait for her to come home or go and find her. To really show her how sorry I am instead of just saying it I decided that I would actually tidy my things and organise them so that I can put them away and still know where they are to make the both of us happy.

It took a while but eventually everything was put away so I ran downstairs to head out and find y/n to apologise. I would wait for her to come home but I can't wait any longer before I apologise and make things better. It didn't take long for me to work out where she had gone as out of everywhere she could go when she's upset she would go to a friends and one of her closest friends is Gavi. Just to be sure I text Gavi to ask him if y/n was there before I headed there to see her.

Your POV

Gavi and I played video games together as that was he was doing before I arrived until someone knocked on his door so he got up to answer it. I didn't look over until I heard a familiar voice and I knew exactly who it was but I still turned around to check and of course it was Pedri. He looked at me before coming over and sitting next to me; he tried to put his arm around me but I moved away not wanting him to touch me until we talked things through. There was silence for a few minutes as we sat alone after Gavi left us to talk.

"I'm really sorry love" Pedri said breaking the silence

"Do you understand why I was even mad in the first place?" I asked

"I do and I'm really sorry I shouldn't leave you to clean everything and I should've appreciated everything you have done today on your day off" he said

"I'm just really used to living on my own and being able to leave things where I want that I didn't think about changing that when you moved in and I'm sorry from now on I promise I will try and be tidier and we will share out the chores so it's not just you doing them" he added

"Thank you babe I appreciate that I just wanted you to understand that I don't want to do everything only for it to be a mess the next day" I explained

"I understand that now as soon as you left I felt awful and I cleaned everything up and organised my things so I know where they all are so the place will be tidier from now on" he said

We made up and decided to move on from the argument and just both do better at communicating from now on. He went to pull me in and this time I allowed it so he hugged me tightly and gave me a few kisses before picking me up so we could go back home. I tried to tell him that I took my car but he just said that we would worry about it tomorrow so I gave up trying to tell him and just let him bring me home. We both said goodbye to Gavi before Pedri drove us home where Pedri made dinner and we watched my favourite show which usually Pedri hates for the rest of the evening. He also made an effort to keep things tidy throughout the evening which made me happy that he finally understood that the place isn't just his anymore.

#pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri imagines #pedri gonzalez imagines #pedri imagine

[bookofmirth]

I feel like Sarah’s latest projects Acosf Hosab and Hofas have felt kinda different from the og acotar books and the throne of glass series, tho i don’t know if it’s maybe just me connecting them less. I was entertained with all three. Especially with acosf which I don’t think it suffered as much as the cc books. But in all three Sarah’s writing feels off.

Now I’m no specialist in criticising English books in depth but I think you said once you’ve studied literature and that’s why you make mostly analyses of the text.

So I was wondering what’s your take on this, if you’ve noticed it too or not and if yes why or how you believe the writing is off

I've been having a lot of conversations about this with people and we had different ideas, though none of them are certain.

I think that the crossover played to Sarah's weaknesses and took away from her time to write to her strengths. I think that she's at her best when she is delving into characters and emotions, and at her least effective when she's trying to do all this big plot and world stuff.

The points in her series where you can see people starting to wonder what the hell is going on, is where you can see her trying to manipulate the plot in order to set up other stories she wants to tell. The best examples of this are acowar and the acosf/hofas arc. acotar was originally going to be a trilogy and then she manipulated acowar to set up more stories. CC was going to be a trilogy until she came up with the crossover and decided to set up more stories. If she could just stick with her original plans, everything would go much better. The points at which she decides to expand the world or plot or characters, those are the places where she begins to falter. (Some people I think would include HoF in this, but I do not.)

Sarah's writing style is to not outline - she is on record saying that she does not do extensive world building, that she isn't good at it, that she doesn't outline, that she let's the story take her where it will. All of those are fine, valid ways to write! However, they make it nearly impossible for her to pull this crossover off successfully. You absolutely cannot go about such a massive undertaking and just bang out 100k words in a week, or whatever ridiculous pace she worked at this time, and have it make sense.

She is also on record saying that the crossover came to her while she was writing hosab. That means she was thousands of pages into acotar and hundreds of pages into CC before she decided to do this huge, series-altering thing. That's... not just poor planning, it's a recipe for disaster. This is why there are inconsistencies, the weird pacing, and dropped plots from hosab. It was too much and she's not the kind of writer who can take on those sorts of tasks and make it still compelling and cohesive. She just isn't.

One of my big concerns about the crossover was the genre shift - CC being urban fantasy and ACOTAR being high fantasy meant that it wasn't going to fit together. There was going to be some friction, no matter how good a writer took it on (and imo a better writer would have known that and not done it in the first place). It's not that it can't be done, it's just that both series need to have an equally strong foundation to work from. The world building in CC was much more intense than it was in acotar, and so trying to fit those two together was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

ToG never suffers from this because Sarah never tried to make it something it wasn't. She always had a clear vision of what kind of person Aelin was and why, and even though she doesn't outline, I would bet a lot of money that when she started writing ToG, she knew that at the end, Aelin was going to end up happy and on the throne of her own kingdom.

Also - and I'm sorry, I know that I am babbling haha but since your question was about acosf/hosab/hofas specifically, I do think that urban fantasy is not Sarah's genre. She clearly reads it, but... it's not the genre for displaying her strengths as a writer. All of the swearing and sex and drug use had me rolling my eyes constantly because she was just beating us over the head with how hardcore and adult the characters are.

So there are a couple of things, really, that made those three books feel off in comparison to the rest of them:

urban fantasy is not Sarah's genre,

the crossover took her energy and attention away from her strengths (emotion, character) and made her emphasize her weaknesses (plot, world)

It feels like we are watching her become a worse writer, and not better. I'm going to chalk it up to her experimenting a little bit with hofas and it not panning out. Optimistic!Lele says that now that this is out of sjm's system, we can go back to our regularly-scheduled emotional journeys with some magic stuff sprinkled in. Pessimistic!Lele doesn't trust sjm farther than she can throw her.

All of this has made me really nervous to read anything ToG-related that she might come up with in the future. I would love more ToG content from 2016 Sarah. 2024 Sarah? I'm honestly not that interested in more canon ToG stuff from her.

Sorry this got long, and I'm not even sure how cohesive all of this is, it's just been on my mind since I finished hofas!

#hofas spoilers #spoilers #sjm critical #hofas #acotar/cc #ask #anon

[weirdlypersonalrpmemes]

»        as dusk falls sentence starters           tw: alcohol, mental health.             feel free to change pronouns and/or phrasing to suit your muse!

❝ not so long ago, i wanted to be a journalist. ❞

❝ i tell ya, the only thing worse than feeding a dog fast food is smelling it again on the way out. ❞

❝ that’s a lot of stuff for just two men. ❞

❝ what do bank robbers eat for dessert? heist cream. you get it? ❞

❝ you lost the — no you didn't. ❞

❝ take a minute. get your shit together. ❞

❝ country kids. or the desert version. lucky we’re still in one piece. ❞

❝ this your work? you've done a good job fuckin' it up i see. ❞

❝ why weren't you keepin' an eye out, huh? ❞

❝ all right, big-man, you've got until seven to get this apartment ship-shape and ready to go. ❞

❝ learn how to drive, asshole! ❞

❝ don’t talk about him. this is all his dumb fault anyway. ❞

❝ jesus christ. i swear i never come so close to shittin' myself. ❞

❝ [NAME], no. we can't go from strangers to roommates. ❞

❝ you're trying to kidnap my WIFE, man. you think i'm gonna stand here and let that happen?. ❞

❝ so what’s next? license plate game? another round of row-row-row your boat? ❞

❝ i hope he didn’t see our license plate. ❞

❝ relax! it ain’t personal. ❞

❝ family? we’re just your fucking babysitters. ❞

❝ police, open up! ❞

❝ police, open up! or maybe... it's the big bad wolf. ❞

❝ jesus, [NAME], this isn't die hard. ❞

❝ you think you're bruce willis, huh? undercover, fighting off bad guys? ❞

❝ maybe you need a cold shower. ❞

❝ eyyy, let’s party. ❞

❝ shut the fuck up. ❞

❝ girls, booze, that fancy purple car of yours... i don't know, it doesn't sound like the worst. ❞

❝ gonna miss your sweet little smile, cupcake. one last drink? ❞

❝ you wanna hear my pitch? i say we rob the bank. ❞

❝ no offense... but i think you're just hot wind. ❞

❝ well you got a better plan? cause i don't. ❞

❝ these houses all look the same to me. ❞

❝ you're always out skulkin' in the woods, climbin' trees and all that. we all know you're good at it. ❞

❝ don't screw this up, kid. ❞

❝ i need you focused, or none of us are getting out of here. ❞

❝ no — no — STOP. YOU listen to ME. ❞

❝ you and i are goin' for a stroll. ❞

❝ she's tough. she'll make it. ❞

❝ it's not the walls. it's what happened within them. ❞

❝ you touch my things again, you won’t be happy. ❞

❝ he came back early, i don’t know what happened! ❞

❝ s'alright. i put my big boy pants on today. ❞

❝ get rid of the cop. you hear me? ❞

❝ you know what this means? shooting a hostage? ❞

❝ all i asked, was that you not do anything stupid. but stupid is all you do, isn’t it? ❞

❝ are you about to give me marriage advice? because if i recall, you walked out on yours. ❞

❝ take that stupid smirk off your face. you look like a fuckin' halfwit. ❞

❝ look, you got away. can you let me go now? ❞

❝ you’re coming with me. ❞

❝ you know you're going to jail after this, and when you finally die there, you're going straight to fuckin' hell. ❞

❝ newsflash — THIS is hell. and we've been here a lot longer than you have. ❞

❝ this is a toughie... ❞

❝ you know something? i don’t like you. ❞

❝ knew we shouldn’t have brung him. ❞

❝ you do that, i promise you’ll regret it. ❞

❝ wanna get high? ❞

❝ i'm scared, [NAME]. i don't want to be alone. ❞

❝ hey, my heart's practically thumping out of my chest. but at least it's still 

beating, right? ❞

❝ i'm sorry about what i did. i was selfish, and i hurt you... ❞

❝ easy now, let’s just — ❞

❝ wait. you need a hostage? take me. ❞

❝ sorry to lock you up like this. ❞

❝ ON THE GROUND! NOW! ❞

❝ i think it’s time to put this whole thing behind us. ❞

❝ you joke when you're hurt, you always have. but i can see through it. ❞

❝ don't speak. don't make a sound. ❞

❝ it'll be over when we win. ❞

❝ i shot him! we gotta run! ❞

❝ now, i can help ya, but you gotta relax those nerves first, all right? ❞

❝ we all have things that scare us — like the dark, and that's okay. i guess we just learn to live with it until maybe one day we won't be afraid anymore. ❞

❝ it was a mistake. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. ❞

❝ oh god, i was right? ❞

❝ was he good in bed? was it worth it? ❞

❝ i'll always be here for you. that won't change. ❞

❝ come on, man. just share the food. ❞

❝ you are testing my patience here, man. ❞

❝ how the hell do you climb so fast? ❞

❝ please write back, [NAME]. i need to hear from you. ❞

❝ do you think i'm bad? am i... am i broken? ❞

❝ you know the world thought you were dead. after you jumped off that cliff. ❞

❝ you'll be fine. you have my word. ❞

❝ aw, fuck! ❞

❝ spare me the lecture. can you do it? ❞

❝ i think the only real job i ever had was convincing people i was someone else. ❞

❝ wasn’t taking the scenic route your idea? i wanted to do this trip at 30,000 feet. ❞

❝ look, this is our only chance. we have a kid in the back of the car, ain’t no way the cops’ll shoot. ❞

❝ i got your back, you know that, right? ❞

❝ i'll always look out for this family. no matter what. ❞

❝ come on now. you're just being dramatic. ❞

❝ look, forget what i said, okay? of course i'm your brother. ❞

❝ it isn't working. it never does. ❞

❝ i don't remember you having a scar before. ❞

❝ family means sacrifice. ❞

❝ we don’t know that for sure. it’s a huge risk. ❞

❝ hop that fence and find a way in. ❞

❝ be there tomorrow. please. let me die looking at someone who knows me. ❞

❝ look, you said you see my face in your dreams? well, i see your face too. i can't explain why. ❞

❝ you deserve a friend, you really do. it just isn't me. ❞

❝ i hope you’re happy. ❞

❝ let me just have one last look around. ❞

#sentence starters #ask meme #ask memes #rp meme #rp memes #inbox meme #inbox memes #mine #adf anniversary second post! #there are a whole ton of really good quotes in this game so i might make a part 2 one day. we'll see!

[bloobluebloo]

I feel like what makes people call ToTK’s Ganondorf “the evilest” is because of his presentation and his bullshit literally just being the style of evil this man committed in OoT combined with BoTW mechanics. Also the goron opioid crisis might’ve contributed to that.

Aside from that OoT Ganondorf, while a complete bastard in comparison to the others, has some more human elements (having a hobby and having moms like Kotake and Koume) which keep him from being cartoonishly evil. The man may have conquered a kingdom, but you can at least never deny that he WAS a man out for power.

hope this explains stuff

That is pretty much the argument I made for TotK Ganondorf appearing to be more evil. We just don't know much about him apart from his desire to see the world destroyed, and that goal in itself seems very nonsensical for what we do know about him.The lore says that Ganondorf has deep seated hatred and bottomless ambition but what is the cause of those feelings? The only thing we see is that Ganondorf is incredibly pissed that Rauru sought to exert control over him with this oath of fealty and that he has an artefact that Ganondorf is jealous of which fine, envy can turn ugly. However, once he becomes Demon King his actions are so extreme that it even catches his own people off guard. The Gerudo sage alludes to this briefly when she mentions that he used to be their chief but that he "changed". So what changed, what made Ganondorf hate so deeply that upon receiving ultimate power he immediately began indiscriminately attacking everyone and burning everything to the ground? If his goal was to rule Hyrule why not simply seize power from Rauru and establish his own rule? Perhaps the people would have seen his power and simply capitulated to his demands but he didn't do that, he just went nuclear. What was he planning to do when he killed everything and left no survivors? Be a king of nothing? And also, TotK Ganondorf is an older man! So what was he doing up until this point? Was he content with ruling the Gerudo and handling skirmishes to satiate his bloodlust until Rauru came in with his idea for a new kingdom? Personally for me I find TotK Ganondorf, as you say, to be very cartoonish. His influence in the land, from spreading gloom, to gloom spawn, Phantom Ganon appearing everywhere, the descent to his lair etc. I think are all well executed in terms of feeling like a threat in terms of game mechanics, but it feels really diminished for me when I know who's behind it because like, dude why are you even doing all this? You're throwing a tantrum that has lasted thousands of years too long and for what? Just to be a pain in the ass? And that is why, for me, OoT Ganondorf in many ways feels more evil. There is so much subtext to him that really rounds out why he is Like That. When you learn that there was a civil war, that Hyrule had scientists studying the control of time, men that killed themselves to preserve that knowledge instead of sharing it with Ganondorf, that the Shadow Temple exists, that the Gerudo are regarded as an Othered people, almost seen as evil, that he has mothers and people that still respect him despite his descent into madness, that of all instruments to play he would choose an organ, that he is still a person at the end of the day...it makes his actions feel more impactful. And I mean to be honest, what comes off as more resentful? Subjugating the Gorons to a drug problem? Or cutting off the Goron food supply and placing a King Dodongo in their cave? And then saying “wait I’m not done with you just yet” , coming back to imprison them, revive an an ancient dragon that they had slain years in the past, and start feeding them to said dragon?

What is Ganondorf’s issue with the Gorons I think this merits some exploration 😂

#ganonthots

[scribblertown]

Fates of the Fateless Ch. 6: New Faces New Places and a Horse

“The life at sea is a grand and hard. Harder than anything we’ve faced here on land.” Pearson was going off on one of his sailor tangents again. Every time he did you couldn’t help thinking of an old man desperate to relive his glory years. “The fear in your gut wondering if you’ll have enough to last you till next port is beyond imagining.” You’ve heard this story before, more than once actually. Next, he’s going to bring up eating seal meat. “The waters up north are absolutely teaming with seals.” Yep, here we go. “Their meat is real’ greasy you know, has a certain flavor to it. Like a mix of duck and veal.” As he reminisced on his voyages you were stuck cutting and peeling vegetables, nothing you haven’t done before. But the amount to be prepped today was more than usual. Like, an exceptionally larger amount. “I still get cravings for the stuff, can’t find it anywhere ‘round here.”

 His droning tales began to fade away as your mind wondered. Your eyes drifting back and forth to the Juniper tree that sat just behind your tent. The fixation of your attention for the past couple of weeks.

 Peel, peel, peel. A glance at the tree. Chop, chop, chop. A glance at the tree. Peel, peel. A glance. Chop, chop. A glance. It had become an obsession at this point. Every time someone would drift a little too close to the tree, you’d feel yourself tense up, unable to look away until they finally move onto another part of camp. You weren’t sure what would happen if anyone stumbled upon your little secret hidden away in the winding tangled roots of the grand and old juniper. But after witnessing Arthur’s more than adequate show of putting down a man three times your size, you couldn’t help but snatch up that precious pistol. It almost seemed like life had deliberately sent it in your direction, right there at your feet for the taking. At least, if it really came down to it, you had a chance at defending yourself.

 “Once you’re done with those potatoes, throw them in that pot of water. Give the skins to the chickens.” Pearson had swung around with his freshly skinned and cleaved rabbits, the choice meat around these parts apparently. He then does a quick count on his fingers muttering softly under his breath. A gradual scowl crosses his face as his brow furrows, his mustache consumes his mouth in a frown. “Hmm… we’re not gonna have enough for the next week at this rate.” That didn’t seem right.

 “This seems like a lot of food for just us.” Sure, you may be new to the ways of life in the 1800’s, but your pretty sure meal prepping wasn’t a concept of the time beyond canning.

 “It ain’t, Dutch made some connections with some of the mining men up in Bingham. Should be here by nightfall.” Oh great, more strange men. “Rigorous work like that, tends to give one quite the appetite.” He’s quick to grab what carrots and onions you have done before tossing them into the cast iron with a big glob of some sort of animal fat. The smell of it was always a little gamey. “I’m hoping this means more money. More money means better eatin’.” Pearson was nice enough; he had a sweet face and a nice singing voice. You got the impression he was desperate to socialize. Which might work to your advantage.

 “What kind of work does Dutch do?” Maybe you’d get a different piece to the puzzle. “I hear he does dangerous work.”

 “All work is dangerous in this day and age.” Damn it.

 “Have you been traveling long? No place to call home?”

 “Dutch and couple of the others have been out on the road a lot longer than me. I only just joined up maybe… four years ago.”

 “Four years?!” You gaped at him flabbergasted. Four years of this same boring routine of grueling work, of never having a roof over their head, and rarely socializing outside of the camp circle. Is that what your future would be with these people? “And you never left?”

 “No, and I’m not sure I ever want to.” He collects another batch of vegetables from you. “I had made some desperate money decisions, borrowed from a few fellers thinking I’d manage to make up what I owed and some extra to get back on my feet. I didn’t, not even close and some real mean-spirited men were sent after me. Forced me to marry a woman and took everything I had to my name. I’m sure they would’ve taken my life as well had Dutch and Hosea not stepped in.” A smile began to slowly build on his lips, and his eyes became misty and soft. “They paid my debts. Some lowly, good for nothing-nobody they knew shit about. But they saved me anyway.” His eyes then drifted to yours, his brow was tightly furrowed and his gaze suddenly bold and serious. “Everyone here has a similar story, many of them worse than mine.” His voice is deep and breathy. “This world is a cruel and unforgivable place, one that don’t want folk like us. People will do what they have to for survival, but folk like Dutch. Like Hosea. They do what they have to for more than just themselves. They do what they have to for us.” He didn’t say much after that. Leaving you with a new worry in your gut.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 When the sun had begun to paint the sky a plethora of warm colors, the men came. Talking loudly and cheerfully. Lead by Dutch, Arthur, and William on horseback. Five new dark silhouettes grew closer before they dismounted their horses just outside of the camps main grounds. You tried to keep yourself from staring, pretending to be all too focused on redoing the seams on a jacket arm. Settled just a few feet from the cooking pot accompanied by Tilly with her own sewing project. The smell of the rabbit and vegetable stew you’d prepped drifting from its large confines of black iron as the two of you observed in silence.

 “Mmmm! Something smells damn good!” The voice that cried out was an unfamiliar one, a bit shrill. His voice sounded quite young.

 “It’s been so long since I’ve had a decent meal…” An older man, rough and worn.

 “Gentlemen, as the first day of our partnership, I would ask you eat to your hearts content knowing that your lives are now you’re own.” Dutch led the line of men towards the large pot, striking a match on his boot. The quick flicker of flame illuminating his face for a quick second before fluttering into a soft glow as he lit a pipe. The group hooping and hollering as they swarmed the area. Two straggled behind a bit. A man and a woman.

 “I’ll getchu a bowl Agatha, you just take a seat and rest a spell.” The man donned bright red hair, swept to the side and styled with some sort of hair grease. His face was angular and skinny, with a decoration of freckles that covered his pale face. He cradled the woman in a gentle and intimate manner.  

 “Alright, but I want you to get yourself a bowl first.” The woman spoke in a broken and course voice. A dark bruise around her left eye, barely hidden behind her dark locks that draped freely down her back and shoulders. They bickered softly for a moment before she finally took a seat on a spare crate near the chicken coop as he joined the rest of the men. A deep sigh fell from her lips as she practically melted into her seat.

 “I certainly hope that bruise isn’t from one of these boys…” Tilly commented under her breath, watching the new group like a hawk with critical eyes scanning every little exchange and movement. You replied with a hum. Out of the corner of your eye Arthur could be seen slipping away into the shadows with a fat saddle bag hefted over his shoulder with a rambunctious William at his tail. Your eyes curiously trailed them as they ventured towards the camps outskirts before your view was cut off by a large figure.  

 “Well well, I wasn’t expectin’ lovely ladies in your band of gunslingers Mr. Van der Linde.” This man was the tallest of the lot, taller than even Arthur or Dutch. Stocky in build with an equally round and stocky face, short salt and pepper hair without a single strand out of place parted down the middle, a thin pencil mustache sat upon his upper lip and sunken light brown eyes that had that familiar predatory stare. An all too happy smirk on his face as his eyes openly wandered your bodies. You unconsciously leaned towards Tilly to block her from his view, before sending him a death glare from under your lashes. “Oooo… Now you don’t wanna go ruinin’ that pretty little face of yours with such an ugly scowl hm?” He chuckled teasingly before bringing another scoop of stew to his mouth full of rotten and crooked teeth. You could just smell the infection on his breath. “Not very lady like.” Bits of food flung out as he spoke.

 “Can’t you be a dumb hunk of shit somewhere else?” Tilly snapped at him brandishing an equally fiery scowl. The rest of the men let out an explosion of laughter. The man’s face quickly became red and tense. Gripping his spoon with enough force to almost bend it in his meaty sausage fingers.

 “Stupid bitch I oughta-” He begins to swing his arm back preparing to strike, you tense spreading your body around Tilly as much as you can awaiting the blow but before he can get enough momentum Dutch is quick to slip between you and dickhead.

 “Wow now Mr. Samson!” His hands are up and his posture relaxed in a mock surrender, “I’ve got rules in my camp, and that includes causin’ trouble for the girls.” His hand drifts to his hip, sweeping aside his jacket flaps exposing his lavish pistol. “You don’t wanna go ruinin’ a beautiful friendship before it even starts.” Samson stares at the pistol a moment before returning to Dutch’s face. “Do you, Mr. Samson?” His face twists before he let out an angry huff, marching off to no doubt sulk in the shadows.

 Hosea then emerges seemingly out of nowhere with John, Arthur, Grimshaw, and William in tow. The saddle bag nowhere to be seen.

 “Been awhile since we’ve had this many people.” Hosea’s eyes wonder over the group of newcomers, rubbing his chin with a small smile. “Guess I better go say hello.” In a matter of seconds of him entering the circle, the men fall under the sweet old man’s charming spell.

 “Just more mouths to feed, and smaller shares for us.” John sulks with a scowl on his face, clearly not happy with the change in guard.

 William has a similar distasteful look, “More like sheep dan men if ya ask me.”

 Dutch comes up behind the two, his hands coming down onto their shoulders with a fierce grip, his pipe nestled between his teeth. “Ooh you boys were just like those poor souls once upon a time.” He spoke through his teeth with a smile. “In fact, I recall you two being a lot more pathetic.”  

 Grimshaw then steps forward, “Dutch I take it you still want us to be packing up to move soon?”

 “Mmhm, after tonight’s haul I imagine word will get out sooner than later. Rather not be so close to town.”

 “What? We’re moving already?” You were just beginning to settle in. “Why?”

 The look of surprise on Dutch’s face made you wonder if he hadn’t realized you were still lingering. “Miss (y/n)! I almost forgot you could talk!”

 “No kiddin’, she’s a real bore.” William shrugs Dutch off his shoulder. “All work ‘nd no play.” That puts a frown on your face knowing full well William’s idea of fun is hassling anyone and everyone he can. “Don’t even know how ta ride a horse. Can ya believe dat?” He’s still going on about that?!

 “At least I don’t smell like one…” you mutter.

 “Dat’s another ting! I know ya go down to the creek for your precious baths princess. Every day!” Your face immediately goes flush and hot. “No one should bathe dat much.”

 “Have you been spying on me?!” You’re standing now, hands clenched in tight fists glaring him in his good eye. He just grins. Which is quickly wiped off his face as Grimshaw swoops in to tug at his ear with a harsh pull.

 “Ooowowowow!” He cries out as she twists him downwards, casually turning to you.

 “Why don’t you girls get yerself something to eat and call it a night. I’m going to have a word with Mr. O’brien.” She gives another hard tug, leading herself and William away. “Goodnight gentlemen.”

 “Ow! What’re ya doin’ ya crazy old hag!” William’s cries of protest fading with each step. Dutch and the other boys simply laugh at his expense.

 “C’mon (y/n) let’s grab some stew and sit by the fire.” Tilly tosses her fabric to the side, quick to jump on her feet and excitedly veer towards the pot.

 Thankfully there was still a decent amount of stew left sticking to the bottom of the cast iron pot, bubbling on the brink of being caramelized and burnt. The two of you quickly found a spot around the main fire where the other men had collected, Uncle balancing a banjo on his knee as he laughs and plays a familiar tune. Out of the corner of your eye you spot John awkwardly standing a decent distance away from you before finally deciding to sit down in the spot to your right.

 “Hi John.”

 “Hi…” He’s not looking at you as he watches his spoon lazily push around a hunk of rabbit. Soon Arthur appears to take up the spot next to him with a hunk of bread in his mouth. “I-I could teach you.”

 “Huh?” John was still staring down at his food, his eyes darting back and forth from his bowl to you, his mouth opening and closing like a fish as he struggled to speak his next words.

 “To ride a horse.” He turns his head to make brief eye contact before they divert to anything but you. “I could teach you how.” You’ve only ever gotten a hello out of the guy and now he’s suddenly offering you free riding lessons.

 “I don’t have a horse.”

 “You can ride mine, or… one of the spare work horses.” He clears his throat before shoveling a large spoonful into his mouth. Just past him you can see Arthur giving him a strange side eye. “Y-yeah, I think… I think you should learn how to ride is all.” He takes another huge mouthful.

 “Alright. That would be very helpful actually.” You sit up a little straighter, turning your body towards him with a small hint of a smile. He visibly freezes hunched over; eyes downcast before he quickly shovels the rest of his food down as fast as he can. He then bolts from his seat, walking almost fast enough to have to break out into a slight jog shouting over his shoulder.

 “Alright I’ll see you later then!”

 “Ok…” a bit baffled at the blunt and brief conversation.

 Arthur scoffs out a slight chuckle, “I would find a different teacher if I were you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 You were grateful for the early bedtime rest as it seemed Grimshaw felt the need to wake you up earlier than usual.  

 “Up up up! It’s time we start packin’!” another swift, sharp kick to your shins only increasing your rising annoyance to such a rude awakening.

 “Alright alright!” you take a second to rub the lingering sleep from your eyes. Blinking slowly to find it was still relatively dark out. Grimshaw who was somehow fully dressed, hair done, and with a pep in her step marched off to wake her next victim. “What time is it?”

 “Is it gonna make you get up faster if I tell you?” Tilly is somehow already on her feet and messing with her hair pins. “I’d get going now if I were you, don’t want that pig from last night getting a glimpse at us in our undergarments.” She moves like lighting twisting and readjusting the pins in her hair before she’s rummaging in your shared chest for her skirt, she grabs yours as well and throws it in your face. “Well? Hurry up!”

 “Hold on, I gotta wash my face first.” You crumble the bunch of clothes in your arms and unhappily get to your feet. Nights in the desert were surprisingly cold, only made getting up all the more difficult. It left any and all the water ice cold, a splash to the face was enough to finally bring you out of your groggy state. Shaking your hands to rid yourself of the lingering drops of chilled water you spotted the woman from last night timidly approaching you. “Good morning.” Your sleepy voice coming out deep and low.

 “Good morning.” She gave a small smile, reaching for the ladle that hung off the lip of the barrels opening and taking a gracious drink. You stood there a little awkwardly unsure if it would be more rude to just leave or start some sort of petty small talk.

 “I’m (y/n).” You seemed to have made the right decision as her eyes lit up with a smile.

 “My name is Agatha.” She gave a brief pause, hands tucked neatly in front of her, “I’m happy to see there are other women here.”

 “Oh, believe me, I thought the same thing when I first joined up.”

 “Have you been here long?”

 “Well…. Not really, only about 3ish months.” I think… “I wasn’t expecting a woman to come from Bingham mine. I figured we’d just be getting men.”

 “Oh, I’d follow Joseph to the ends of the earth. But I’m happy to be away from that place. They were working him to death.” You couldn’t help but stare at the bruise on her eye, she seemed to notice. “This was a parting gift from my previous employer.” She touched the purpling skin delicately. “Joseph was sure to give him twice the beating.”

 “Sounds like you picked a good one.” Just past Agatha you could see Grimshaw prowling about. You’ve been taking up too much time. “Uh, I gotta get to work but let’s chat some more later, ok?” You start to walk backwards as you spoke.

 “Of course! It was nice to meet you.”

 “Nice to meet you too!” You shouted over your shoulder before bolting back to your tent. Tilly had already rolled up your sleeping pads, thankfully leaving the chest and tent up for you. You glance around to find no one else was nearby. You quickly slipped to the Juniper tree crouching down and delving into the roots, fiddling around blindly until the cold steel met your fingertips. Swiftly wrapping the pistol in the change of clothes you had engulfed in your arms. Acting nonchalant as you pretended you were simply packing away your belongings. Careful to bury it at the bottom of the chest where only your belongings laid. Quick to actually get dressed and begin the grueling process of carefully taking down the tent, folding it properly and playing a game of tetris fitting it all into the wagon. Next came everything else that wasn’t absolutely needed. Tables, clothes, personal belongings, most of Pearson’s dry goods and cooking ware. If it wasn’t nailed down or on a horse, it goes in the wagons.

 “Careful vith my equipment! It’s very fragile!”

 “Relax Strauss, I know how glass works.” The camp was bare and empty now with only remnants of footprints and the old campfire among the red sand. The sun was now only just starting to come up as you hefted the last bit of supplies into its rightful spot. “You want me to take your bag too?” you reached out a hand, eyeing his medical bag that he carried around. He cradled it close to his chest with a distasteful look.

 “No, it stays vith me.”

 “Alright well… I guess pick your ride and we can get out of here.” You keep yourself from rolling your eyes and dropped your hand, he hadn’t lifted a finger to help out, didn’t even take down his own tent. “And William calls me princess…” you mutter under your breath as you settle onto a pile of fabric tightly rolled together just outside of the wagon opening. Strauss hesitates a moment before also climbing aboard, sitting adjacent to you, cradling his bag in his lap. Your eyes wandered to find most everyone else has loaded up and found their respective spots to travel. The wagon just in front of you holds Agatha and the red head you now know as Joseph, feet dangling off the edge, their horse tied just in front of them with their personal belongings on its back. You gave her a wave; she gave one back. Thankfully it seemed Samson wasn’t around, along with the regular bread winners. Arthur wasn’t around, nor were John or William. You took some comfort in that.

“Good morning!” Pearson’s chipper chubby face appears as he hops up onto the coach, scooching over as a young man takes the spot next to him.

 “Hello.” His voice was hushed and smooth. Kind dark brown eyes, clean shaven with long silky black hair tied in a braid down his back and donning a simple looking leather hat to keep the sun out of his deep tan face.

 “Ah Guten Morgen Mr. Pearson.”

 “Have you met Jay yet?” Pearson glances over his shoulder at the two of you, the reins resting limply in his hands as you all await the caravan to move along.

 “It’s Jie, Mr. Pearson.” The man corrects him with a smile, he meets your eyes again, “Jie Liu. It’s nice to meet you.” His face carved deep lines up from his jaw and into his cheeks when he smiled.

 “Hallo, Jee-eh, I am Doctor Leopold Strauss.” The poor man’s names get butchered again mixed with Strauss’ heavy European accent, it makes you cringe a little. But Jie just smiles and nods at him seemingly unbothered. Turning to you next.

 “And I already know who you are. Your little confrontation with Mr. O’brien was enough for us to quickly learn your name.” He has a slight accent, it’s very subtle, though it’s noticeable with certain words. “What’s the saying? Cleanliness is close to Godliness!” He laughs. You feel a little embarrassed to remember you had an audience watching your little fight last night.

 “You know I’m pretty sure that’s the most emotion I’ve seen you show since you’ve gotten here.” Pearson has a sly glint in his eye. “Seems some of Grimshaw’s charm is rubbing off on you.”

 You roll your eyes. He just laughs. The wagon in front of you starts to move. You all jolt forward slightly as Pearson snaps the reins.

 “Jee-eh, I take it you’re an immigrant, yes?” Strauss is holding a book in his hands now jotting something down as he speaks.

 “Yes, I am originally from Hong Kong. I take it you are also an immigrant Mr. Strauss?”

 “Austrian. But like everything about this country, I’ve been consumed into the American masses.”

 Jie gives a chipper response. “It is quite the country.”

 “Hong Kong huh? That’s so far away, how and why did you come here?” You ask.

 “My home, the little neighborhood I grew up in wasn’t exactly a good one. Big cities like that tend to attract a lot of… bad people.” He pauses a moment before picking back up again. “I lived their most of my adolescent life but… there’s nothing left for me there.” There’s a sadness in his voice, and the implications of what that might mean makes you wish you didn’t ask.

 “I’m sorry to hear that…” You spoke softly, awaiting his next words with reverence. The other two remain silent.

 He lets out a long sigh, “So, I ended up leaving the country to come here. I was swept up into the work most migrants end up doing. I met a friend who got me into the mining business at Bingham, lost him in the cave ins and now I’m here.”

 “Agatha mentioned something about the mine almost working Joseph to death.”

 “It’s definitely work I hope to never have to fall into again. It paid decently but when you take into account how much goes into food, housing, and medicine, you lose it just as quickly as you gained it.”

 “I haven’t had the chance to talk to the other new recruits. I take it they left under similar circumstances?” Pearson asks curiously.

 “To be honest, I am not very familiar with the others beyond their names. But yes, considering the recent cave in and other issues arising from poor work conditions, I’m actually surprised we didn’t have more men take up Mr. Van der Linde’s offer.”

 “They vere fools not to.”

 “Oh, Strauss you can be a very cold man sometimes you know that?” Pearson lets out a holler, “We got a lot of miles to cover and so much to talk about. You know I was a sailor on the seas once upon a time. Back when I was far younger and had a little more on my head and a little less on my stomach, AHAHA!”

 Dear God no… Not again…

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 This was by far the farthest and longest you’ve traveled so far. It was a shift in driving wagons, sleeping when night fell, and getting back on the road before the sun even came up. Swapping places here and there so you weren’t stuck with some of the more miserable members of your mysterious caravan. Encountering the two other men you hadn’t had a chance to talk to. The oldest of the bunch was an aged and worn man by the name of Crisoforo Abadiano. His skin was dark and sun damaged, deep lines in his face from years of wear and tear. He was the older than even Hosea it seemed. His dark eyes framed by heavy lashes and a sad distant look to them. Hair short and combed back with slivers of silver amongst his jet-black hair, covered by a large brimmed hat. He never really talked much and when he did it was usually single word responses. While very quiet he was the type you could be comfortable in silence with.

 “You have any hobbies Mr. Abadiano?”

 “No.”

 “Really, nothing at all?”

 “Cards.” He was fantastic at ending conversations before they really began.

  And of course, Joseph with Agatha practically attached at his hip. He was quite young, younger than you at least. Both ambitious and optimistic, excited to exchange stories and meet new people.

 “How did you two meet anyway?”

 “Well, I was working at the mining town’s saloon as a waitress and card dealer, you get good commission when all the men want to do after work is drink and gamble all they’re earnings away, sometimes they’d forget I’d already been paid.” Agatha gives a giggle. “Well one night, I was having particular trouble with a tenet who’d pulled a knife on me, accusing me of cheating him out of his winnin’s. I thought I was ‘bout to be gutted when a strapping,” Agatha breathes in a hushed voice as if just the memory of this incident left her breathless, looking dreamily at Joseph, “strong, young, and handsome hero stepped in to save me.” She lets out a long sigh as her lashes flutter in a half-lidded look. “I knew he was the one for me.”

 “Oh Agatha, you’ll never know what joy your words bring to my foolish heart.” Joseph, whose face was red as a tomato and clearly flustered was now cradling Agatha in his arms with a similar look of intense love in his eyes. “I love you, Agatha.”

 “I love you too, Joseph.” The two then shared a chaste kiss leading to another and another until they were holding each other long and tender. Leaving you to uncomfortably look around at anything but the spontaneous make out session you had the misfortune of being an audience for. They were cute and easy to talk to but… they were just too… lovey dovey.

 Other than the small talk, watching the scenery slooowly pass by and napping were your pastimes. (That and avoiding Mr. Samson like the plague personified). It was so incredibly boring to be traveling at a snail’s pace with nothing to occupy yourself. You started to pick up on some of the mannerisms of many of the others.

 Uncle at any point you were caught in his presence was buzzed 9 times out of 10. Bessie had impeccable posture seemingly always sitting straight as a plank. Hosea never seemed hot, even on the hottest of days, you’ve never seen him break a sweat. In more ways than one. Dutch and Annabelle were usually resting against each other, shoulder to shoulder, whispering and giggling to each other. You even managed to catch some poetry from Dutch. It actually wasn’t half bad.

 The bread winners had returned during the night on one of your rest stops, suddenly just there one morning around the coffee pot after having been missing for so long, it had caught you off guard. John was as awkward as ever giving a small hello without looking you in the eyes, Arthur was a bit grumpy and just grunted, and William had that distinct sneer he’d always give you, not saying a word. The stupid bastard.

 They led the rest of the way to a secluded canyon, the jagged red and pink sand rocks speckled with an assortment of desert trees and shrubbery, towering on both sides of a large level bed of rock with two openings that split off into two different directions and a third that you all entered through. It was shaded and cool, quiet and untouched.

 Dutch and Annabelle were excitedly taking in the view of the grand open space, as the rest of you began to unpack. “Quiet, secluded, no nosey neighbors. This place is perfect Arthur!”

 “Thought you’d like it.” Arthur gave a smirk, pulling up a match to light a cigarette perched on his lips. You assisted Pearson with unloading, watching Tilly curiously survey the campsite before boldly stomping up a cloud of dust.

 “I’m claiming this spot for the women!” She announces with wide smile. The area just to the right of the opening to the north.

 “Oh? And where will you be sleeping?” Uncle teases her, he had a box in his arms seemingly pitching in with the labor before realizing it was full of liquor.

Back and forth, back and forth. The camp slowly came to life. Dutch’s tent went up first, next was Bessie’s and Hosea’s, and then Arthur’s and so on and so forth until only yours was left.

 Only problem is it was smothered under an unfamiliar large wooden chest. Sun bleached in places and chipped in others. Barred by rusted iron hinges and simple looking. Only issue was how unexpectedly heavy it was. Even with both hands you barely managed to scoot it an inch.

 “Hmpphh!” You give a harsh pull, causing whatever’s inside to slide and tumble.  

 “Wow, there miss.” Arthur slides into view, hands quick to find the handles, his calloused fingers grazing yours slightly, tickling the little hairs on the back of your hands. His hat shrouds his face from you. “Let me get this out of your way.” He picks it up like it weighs nothing, and heads off towards Dutch’s tent. You watch as Dutch’s eyes light up at the sight of him. Quick to swoop him into his tent and draw back the canvas curtains, shrouding them from view.

 Odd. Very odd.

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  You could feel eyes on your back as you awkwardly finish ramming the final stake into the ground. Giving the twine a good tug before making yourself recognize the presence.

 “Hi John,” you toss the hammer back into the wooden tool box, wiping sand from your hands. “You uh… need something?”

 “Let’s go riding.”

 “Oh, you wanna do the lessons now?” your eyes wander around looking for Grimshaw, you’d rather not wander off without her approval. Not worth the scolding you think.

 “Yes.” He’s quick to start a march towards the horses looking back at you, still unmoved from your spot. “Come on then!” He yells in haste. You stand there hesitantly shifting your weight from one foot to the other. Taking a moment to consider if John is someone you want to be alone with. I mean he’s just a kid, but…

 “But Grimshaw won’t like it if I ditch work!”

 “Your chores will still be here when you get back.” He lets out a huff, clearly anxious to get going, “Now come on!”

 “Can Tilly come?”

 “Huh?” Tilly juggling an arm full of pots and pans shoots you a look of absolute confusion. “I got stuff to do around here!”

 “But I don’t-“ You step a foot closer to her, voice low enough only she can hear. “I don’t want to be alone with a strange man er-boy!”

 “John ain’t gonna do nothin’. He’s as dumb as a bag of dirt but he ain’t bad.” Her hand jumps to catch a cast iron pan that was slipping from underneath her elbow, snagging painfully on her finger. You relieve her of the heavy pan and find it a more convenient place in her jumbled arms. “You’ll be fine. Although I’m not sure you’ll actually learn anything.”

 You can see his horse patiently awaiting its rider, a big and burly warm brown stallion already harnessed. Next to it was one of the driving horses, even bigger than John’s horse and rippling with muscle. Black and white like a cow, towering over everything and everyone else.

 “Uum, isn’t he a little big?” Your eyes scan the big beast, just how in the hell are you even supposed to get on this giant?

 “Horses are for riding. He’s a horse, so ride him.” A blanket is tossed onto the curved slope of the horse’s back before a saddle follows. He’s quick and efficient as he pulls and ties the various leather straps into place, clearly very familiar with his way around a horse. “Alright, hop on up.” You’re a bit hesitant as you nervously approach.

 Please don’t kick me, Mr. Horse.

 Your first instinct is to grab the saddle horn, which is barely within your reach. Next you pick up your foot to awkwardly sit in the stirrup leaving you hanging off of the side like a monkey.

 “You’re doing it wrong.”

 “Huh?” you peek over at John, fidgeting with his suspenders. “How?”

 “Well, uh, you’re just getting on wrong.” You look down at your right foot twisted in the stirrup at an angle, then at your hands tangled together before looking at him quizzically. “You hafta swing your leg over… so you gotta…” He’s at a loss of words, mind clearly working overtime, his face beginning to redden. “Just watch me! Ok?” He places his left foot into the horse’s left stirrup before swinging his right over and finding his perfect perch atop his horse. “Like that.”

 “Ooh.” You readjust yourself to place the correct foot in the stirrup before hopping once, twice, and thrice heaving yourself up and your leg over the seat of the saddle. “Oomph!” your leg only hooks itself at the knee, leaving you to depend on your arms to pull the rest of your body upwards, hands barely having enough room to hold onto the tiny saddle horn before finally getting into your seat. Already looking like an idiot. You scoop the reins into your hands gingerly, actively making sure they are lax in your grip afraid you might cause the horse to move before you’re ready. “Now what?” you ask.

 “Now, we get a move on.” He clicks his tongue and turns his horse out toward the open desert. He gets a ways out before realizing you’re not following. “Are you coming!?” He yells.

 You’re digging your heels into the horse’s sides, clicking your tongue, pulling on the reins trying to get the thing to move, but he remains still. “How do I get him to move!?” you call back.

 “Squeeze his chest!”

 “Squeeze his chest?” pondering for a second, you almost give the big guy a hug before it clicked in your brain to use your legs, he moves almost immediately. “He’s doing it!” Your smiling, excited with your small little accomplishment. “Good boy.” Caressing his long wispy mane as you slowly make your way toward John.

 “There we go, now try and keep up with me.” John goes from a simple walk into a trot. You give his chest another squeeze with your legs, your pace remains the same, you then give a go at digging your heels in. That gets him going a little faster. John goes from a trot to a sort of jog, so you follow suit. Your lower back and bottom bouncing up and down on the saddle uncomfortably.

 “Aren’t we going a little fast?” You cry out. John peeks over his shoulder with a blank confused look.

 “Uh, no? We can go way faster.” His eyes drift off before looking back at you, “Did you wanna go faster?”

 “No, I think that would be a bad idea. I don’t even know how to stop this thing.” Oh my lord, Tilly wasn’t exaggerating. John pulls to the side and slows down, keeping pace on your right. His horse was a considerable amount shorter than yours, causing his head to only reach as high as your shoulder. He sits up a little taller.  

 “You know, I’m the one who found the spot.”

 “Hm? The campsite?”

 “Yeah, I’m the one who found it. Not Arthur.” He spits out Arthur’s name with some disdain.

 “It’s nice.” A pocket of silence fills the air.

 “The foods been better, and I noticed my shirts are not so full of holes.” He clears his throat. “You do good work.”

 “Why are your shirts so fond of holes anyhow?” Your mind drifts to that notorious green shirt. “I swear some of the clothes have had blood on them too.” You watch him carefully from the corner of your eye. Trying to keep a casual, calm air about yourself. “You ought to be more careful.”

 “We uh- get into fights sometimes.” His response isn’t very confident. “But! I mean- we don’t start ‘em.” He steers his horse into yours, “Lets take a left up here.”

 Just what kind of fights are you getting into?

 “Arthur’s good in a fight. I got to see that first hand.” John gets quiet.  You dared a peek to see his face was in a scowl. “Where we goin’ anyway?”

 “There’s another spot I found, thought you’d like it.”

 “So that’s where you boys went? Sight-seeing?”

 “It ain’t like that, someone’s gotta make sure the way ahead is safe.”

 Safe from what?

 “Can’t say I’m not jealous. A break from camp would be nice every once in a while.”

 “Well, we can go riding anytime you want.”

 “I’m sure Grimshaw would not be too keen on the idea.” Another round of silence. The area around you is beginning to become much greener, blooming cactus, flourishing sage brush and a particular earthy smell permeates the air like a delicate perfume. Each step forward becomes an oasis of thriving plant life, and just as your about to ask how, you see it.

 A great pool of water extends the majority of the horizon, reflecting the bright light of the sun and creating a perfect mirror image of the surrounding environment. A small group of Big Horned Sheep could be seen taking a gracious drink off the tranquil water’s surface. Various kinds of birds nesting in the blooms of the Joshua trees providing a sweet melody. Everything was flourishing.

 John’s horse maneuvers itself in front of yours, bringing you to a stop and putting said riders face right in your line of view. “I figured you could come here when you need to… ya know.” His face flushes red. “Bathe.”

 You let out a huff of a laugh and a smirk. “You know, bathing isn’t my whole personality. But I appreciate it.” You both sit in silence as you take it all in. It actually began to make you emotional, tears brimming to the surface of your eyes. You attempt to keep composure but it’s in vain as John clearly notices.

 “A-are you ok?” He sounds almost frightened. No doubt caught off guard by your sudden decent into sadness.

 “I-I’m sorry.” You turn away from him, dabbing away at your eyes. Face scrunched painfully as you try your hardest to hold back the sob desperately trying to come up your throat. “I-I don’t know what’s come over me.” Your voice cracks as you speak. It’s an awkward silence as you fail to keep your feelings at bay. You almost don’t feel the couple soft taps on your shoulder.

 “It’ll be okay…” John attempts say comfortingly, though it comes out sounding more like a question. It was… very sweet of him.

 Your horse seems to dislike the change in mood as he winnies in agitation, swaying side to side before moving suddenly.

 “WHoawhoa-WHOA!!” You shriek in surprise as your horse bolts forward with vigor, your hands yanking on the reins causing him to simply jerk his head and rip them from your grip. “Ah!” your hands desperately grab for his neck, looping around the large and taught muscle before you feel your legs turn cold. Your horse had felt the sudden need to plunge himself directly into the water taking you with him. Your wide eyes meet John’s still in shock.

 “Guess he was hot.” John remarks. The horse let’s out a long grunty sigh that vibrates from underneath you. You’re up to your shoulders in water, soaking you from your socks to your underwear.

 And you laugh.

 A long joyous slip of bliss from your lips, the first in a long time. And it goes on and on and on. Leaving you breathless as you pitter down to little giggles, only to rev back into a fit. Slapping the horse gently on his side.

 “You-hoohoo silly horse- ahahaha!” You can hear John letting loose a few laughs as well.

 “Well, lookie here!” A new voice arises from the shoreline. It’s Arthur. Basking down at you from atop his trusty mare, leaning forward and a twinkle in his eye.

 “What’re you doin’ here?” John doesn’t look happy, eyeing Arthur up with a challenging look in his eyes.

 “Lookin’ for you two.” He attempts to smack John, who swerves harshly out the way nearly falling off his saddle. “You’ve got night watch.”

 “So do you!” John retorts in annoyance.

 “Yeah, and you better not fall asleep on me!” Arthur goes for another swing, this time landing upside John’s head with a smack.

 “Ow!” John’s face scrunches up into a scowl, he retaliates with a smack of his own that causes Arthur’s hat to fall forward into his face. You let out a soft giggle at the sight.

 Like a couple of toddlers.

 Arthur adjusts his hat back into place, clearing his throat before speaking to you in a much more tender tone.

 “You need some help there, ma’am?”

 “uhh…” you grab for the reins floating just on the water’s surface, giving them a pull upwards, backwards and to the side. But the horse simply remains submerged and relaxed. You swing yourself off it’s back, now soaking every inch of you completely. Wading towards the bank as both young men dismount to meet you. Arthur has his hands extended before John practically shoves him out of the way causing Arthur to exclaim an irritated “Hey!”. You’re assisted up and out of the pond, John’s hand lingering in yours long after your clearly on dry solid land.

 “Thanks.”

 John nods with an eager smile. “Course!”

 “You can let go of my hand now…”  

 “Oh uh! Yeah…” He stammers a bit, looking at your intwined hands before finally releasing you from his grip.

 “What about him?” You motion to the large horse still sitting unmoved.

 Arthur looks to John and nods his head towards the water. “You get him.”

 “What!? No way, you do it!”

 “I know you chose the horse. So, you get to pull him out.” Arthur corrals you to follow him back to Boadicea, throwing in one last remark to John before placing you just behind him.  “Maybe you’ll finally learn to swim!”

 John flips him off leaving Arthur to laugh as the two of you ride away.

 “He can’t swim?” You ask genuinely worried.

 ��Yeah, so don’t go askin’ for lessons.”

 “Is he gonna be ok?” I mean you did just leave him all alone surrounded by a large body of water.

 “Little John knows how to take care of himself. Drowning won’t be what kills him.” You look back to see John hollering and waving a carrot around trying to get the horse’s attention.

 You only give an uncertain hum, falling quiet. You try not to get too close, for both personal space and to not soak his entire back with your still sopping wet clothes.

 You’d be lying if you said Arthur didn’t scare you. Out of everyone in camp, you knew the least about him. And with his clearly appropriate label as the muscle of camp, it worried you to think if and when he’d use that muscle on you.

 “We haven’t really had a chance to talk much, you and I.” Arthur speaks.

 “Well-“ You exhale, “-it’s been a strange couple of months. Not like I’ve been in the mood to talk anyway.”

 He responds with a hum. “How ya holdin’ up?”

 “I don’t know… I’ll feel ok for a while and then out of nowhere I’m having a mental breakdown.” You fidget with the sleeve of your blouse. “I’m not sure holding on is something I can do for too much longer.”

 “Well… it hasn’t been that long ago since… ya know. But things will get better miss. These things just take time.” He perks up a bit, “And hey, being able to laugh in your situation, I’d say you’re well on your way to healin’.”

 Your lips twitch into an almost small smile. “I sure hope so, it’s a lot to adjust to… And I can’t say how much I appreciate you all taking me in and giving me so much.”

 “What happened to you? If you don’t mind me askin’?”

 “I…I got lost…”

 “Lost?” He sounds confused.

 “But I can never go back home. I can never…” Your throat constricts with the thought of people you once knew flash across your mind. “I-I don’t want to talk about it…”  

 “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” And you both fall back into the awkward silence. The only sound being the muffled trotting of Boadicea’s hooves on soft sand.

 Arthur suddenly pulls Boadicea to a stop, causing you to squeeze his waist extra hard and smooshing your face against his broad back. Catching a whiff of cigarettes and… Oh god he needs a bath.

 “What? What’s wrong? Why are we stopping?” you quickly slip your arms away as he dismounts, grabbing a rifle from the saddle. You freeze up in fear as he meets your eyes and puts his finger to his lips.

 “Sshh…” he shushes softly. He lowers himself to the ground. Soft careful steps in the direction of a large cluster of brush. Your eyes scan the area finding nothing, fixing back to Arthur confused as to what in the world he’s doing.  

 He stops, stock still. Lifting the rifle to his shoulder before BANG and then another BANG. Making you jump each time. He proceeds to jog over to whatever he decided needed to die. His face is a light with a smile, rifle over one shoulder and two rabbits dangling from his hand held up with triumph.

 “Dinner!” he calls out. Swinging the carcasses over his shoulder. Making his way back to you, you spot dark splotches beginning to form on his shirt.

 Oh my god. It’s animal blood!

 A wave of relief falls over you, hand at your chest as you let go of so much stress and anxiety over that damned bloody shirt.

 “I was wondering where that blood came from.”  He looks at his now red stained shoulder as he ties a rabbit to each side of the saddle.

 “Oh yeah… sorry about that.” He attempts to wipe the blood off his hands before remounting, his hands now a bright pink. “I’ll wash this one, don’t worry about it.”

 “Oh? You know how to do your own laundry?”

 He laughs, “Yes, I know how to do laundry. Susan made sure of that.”

 “And you’re on a first name basis with her too it seems.” You notice the damp imprint you made on his back and can’t help but distance yourself from him a little more.

 “We’ve known each other a long time. I mean she practically raised me.”

 Raised him, so he was a kid when he joined up. My god that’s a long time.

 “Did you know your parents?”

 “I don’t remember much of my Mama, but my Daddy… I wish I didn’t remember much of him.” A bad father figure, not much of a surprise.

 “Must have been hard…”

 “Hard for everyone isn’t it?”

 “Yeah but… doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”

 He stays quiet for a moment before he speaks again, softly this time. “Your right… it don’t.” The conversation dies down after that. You make no effort to change that.

 You start to descend where the camp lies, completely hidden from view until you were basically walking in the front door. Once on the ground you utter a small “thank you” to Arthur. Turning to his horse

 “Thank you, girl.” You stroke her side gently; she eyes you with curiosity as if waiting for something. “Sorry I don’t have a treat for you.”

 “Here, give her this.” Arthur fishes around his bag before pulling out a round pale thing. You take it in your hand, inspecting it a moment. It was light and delicate. A rice cake without the rice. You offer it to Boadicea, palm open as she plucks it up with her big whiskery lips. And you let out an air of a laugh through your nose as she tickles your hand.

 “It was nice talking to you miss.” Arthur speaks with a smile, eyes shrouded by his hat, but you can still see the bright glint of his eyes. The two rabbits hanging over his shoulder.

 “It was nice talking to you too. I hope you sleep well.” You both awkwardly nod a goodbye as he departs.

   The second Arthur leaves your side, a new body takes his place. Samson towers over you and far too close for your liking. Taking two steps back, only for him to take two steps forward.

 “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” He utters with a far too innocent look.

 “What do you want?” you blurt out your question with no effort in sounding in the least bit interested in what he has to say.

 “I want to apologize for the terrible first impression I left on you that first night.” He waits for a response from you, you don’t give him one. “I don’t want us to start off on bad terms, I’m really not a bad fella.” You roll your eyes, it’s the stupid nice guy bullshit even in this era. Turning to leave before you feel his disgusting giant meaty paw clamp onto your forearm like a vice. “Wow wow! I’m not done talking!” He barks angrily, yanking you back to your spot right in front of him causing you to yelp. “I think we could be real good friends. But it takes two my dear.”

 “I don’t want to be your friend!” You spit out at him, yanking your arm only causing him to grip it even tighter. He smiles wide.

 “Good. Neither do I.” Your stomach twists at the way his eyes linger in intimate places as they rave up your body before they fall behind you. Smile dropping and hand quick to release, causing you to stumble back. Gentle hands find themselves cradling your shoulder, pushing you behind a body.

 “What the hell do you think you’re doin’?!” Arthur’s voice comes out deep and low. Eyes staring daggers into Samson as your hidden from view. His shoulders taught and raised like the hackles of a cat. In the moment Arthur seemed to tower over Samson.

 “Nothing, just a friendly chat.” Samson feigns ignorance. “Not like it’s your business anyhow.”

 “When it comes to the safety of the women, it’s my business.” Arthur barks loud and gruff. Samson seems to notice the little exchange is drawing attention, eyes from others peeking around corners and watching. He fidgets.

 “She’s fine, ain’t no hair out of place or bruise on her.” He dares to meet your eyes again, but his view is blocked by Arthur’s body once more. “Like I said, it was just a friendly chat.” And with his final statement he finally leaves.

 Only once he’s out of sight does Arthur relax. “You alright?” His voice no longer holding the animosity he had only seconds ago. Now soft and hushed. You cradle the arm, no marks or bruising. But the feeling of that dirty hand lingers like a burn.

 “Yeah… I’m ok.” Your eyes remain fixated on your hand now rubbing your forearm. “Thank you for stepping in…” Despite the tense situation, you didn’t feel uncomfortable. You felt safe, secure, calm. You can see him fidget in your peripheral. Shifting from foot to foot.

 “If he gives you trouble, you come to me, Alright?” You finally look up into his eyes, kind and concerned. Nothing like the way Samson was looking at you. You nod slowly.

 “I’ll come to you…” His eyes drift from each of your eyes a moment more, before he nods his head.

 “Ok… You be well Ma’am.” You watch as he leaves, hands twitching and shoulders adjusting themselves. He approaches Dutch and Hosea who were sitting and chatting away with cups of coffee. There smiles dissipate as Arthur speaks. Their gaze looking off in the direction of Samson and then they turn to you. Your eyes meet there’s for a split second before you turn away quickly. Wondering off to find a nice sunny spot to dry off and lie low for a while.

#rdr2 #rdr2 arthur #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption arthur #self insert #Fates of the Fateless #oh arthur #Dutch Van Der Linde #Van Der Linde Gang #hosea matthews #bessie matthews #tilly jackson #annabelle #I wanna be a Cowboy baby #this shit is long #original characters #reader insert #reader #I hope tumblr automatically hides the text cause I don't know how and I'll feel bad for anyone who must scroll for an eternity

[hit-me-with-your-bat-please]

something about Shane sv and the reader meeting at a party and having a one night stand, probably back in his gridball days or at the saloon after a festival

I’ll try to make this gender neutral since it wasn’t specified. In theme for halloween, this will be after the spirit festival! I hope you like it anon!

Shane(SDV) x Reader (nsfw)

The saloon was lively tonight, I caught bits and pieces of conversations about the fake(real) skeletons and shadow people, the haunted maze that most had a hard time navigating. People were still in their costumes and makeup. Looking around I noticed at least two people were dressed as witches, two others as zombies, one as a scarecrow, and some 80s inspired pop icons. Not being able to get done around the farm until almost the start of the festival, I just looked like a generic cowboy. Thank Yoba for that box of grandpa’s stuff, because never would I ever just have a leather fringe vest on hand otherwise.

I made my way to the only empty table, dimly light in the corner and sat down to enjoy my beer. I heard the sound of the bell on the door but didn’t look up to see who was leaving or coming in, too absorbed in my phone and newly found buzz.

“You mind if i sit here? All the other tables are taken,” said a gruffer male voice. I look up to see Shane, which is odd since usually he just stands near the bar.

“Sure, help yourself,” I said gesturing to the empty seat across from me.

He sat down, also opting to look at his phone and lose himself in the beer. I was already ordering another round when I decided to get one for Shane, seeing how he was already almost done.

“Thank you,” he said when I came back from the bar not even looking up from his phone.

“No problem,” I reply, going back to social media to see what my friends from the city were up to tonight.

Another few rounds later and the two of us began having a small conversation about how both of our flocks of chickens were doing, which turned into why we moved to valley. Usually he isn’t this talkative, I thought to myself, but I didn’t mind. This side of him was nice, a change from the cold and unapproachable version of himself.

Next thing we knew Gus was calling out last round and to start closing tabs. Walking out of the saloon while finishing our conversation about gridball and how Shane used to play and how most sports to me were just sportball, do the thing get the point.

“Hey, thank you. It was really nice talking to you tonight,” he said, a small hint of a blush starting to dance across his cheeks. Then he started walking in the direction of Marnie’s house.

“Wait! Do you want to come back to my place? I mean feel free to say no, but I really enjoyed our conversation and your company, and I’m not wanting this night to end so soon,” I said, feeling a little braver than usual with the liquid courage flowing through my veins. My heart was beating hard and I felt as though I stopped breathing.

“Sure why not?” He said and rejoined my side as we made the trek back to the farm.

Once inside with the door closed I asked if he wanted anything else to drink, with another beer in our hands we started talking about past loves and what we wish for the future.

“I’m not sure if I’m too keen on another partner too soon, the last kinda left me with a sour taste in my mouth,” I said.

“A lot of people can relate to that, I’m sorry,” he said looking almost mournfully at the bottle he was holding.

“The only thing to be sorry for is my lack of getting fucked,” oh shit. Had I really just said that out loud?

“That can be fixed,” he replied, turning to look at me with a hungry almost predatory look in his eyes.

Within a blink of an eye our mouths crashed together in a fit of passion and drunken lust. He tasted like pizza and beer but I didn’t care, I just wanted him all over me, and most importantly in me.

“Let’s move this to my bed,” I said, grabbing his hand and leading him to my room.

He shoved me onto the mattress and got on top, discarding his jacket and shirt, and nudging me take off mine as well. With fumbling hands I reached for his belt and slowly undid it, letting it fall to the floor making eye contact the entire time.

“Damn you’re sexy,” he said, voice husky and dripping with lust while leaving kisses all over my neck. He moved down my chest and stomach until he reached my jeans, which he removed effortlessly.

I started moaning as he rubbed me through my underwear, I could feel his rough and calloused hands through the thin fabric.

“Fuck, the sounds you make are getting me so hard.”

“Just fuck me already, please. Fuck I need to feel you inside me, please Shane,” I begged, reaching down to try and rub his hard cock through his jeans.

“Don’t have to ask me twice,” he said getting rid of the remaining clothing on our bodies.

Back on top he slowly started to push his cock into me, taking it out and pushing it back in. I couldn’t control my moaning, and I couldn’t tell where his body started and mine ended. Once fully inside me, he opted for a rougher and faster pace, taking one of my nipples in his mouth and the other in his fingers.

“Oh fuck Shane, you feel so amazing. Your cock is so big,” breathlessly came out of my mouth and my hips tried to match his pace.

Starting to feel close to orgasming, I flip us so i was on top. I bounced slowly on him, coaxing some well earned moans out of him. The feeling of his cock sliding in and out of me was pure bliss, and I wasn’t going to last much longer. I picked up my pace, riding him hard and fast.

“S-Shane, I-I’m going to cum.”

“Cum for me, I want to feel your body squeeze around my cock,” and with that I came hard. Moans almost turned into screaming. He flipped us back over and fucked me hard into my mattress until he too was about to cum.

“Fuck, im gunna cum,” he practically growled. He pumped his cock in a few more times in me before pulling out and cumming all over my stomach.

He collapsed next to me, out of breath. We laid for for a few before I started to get up to clean myself off, but a large hand pushed me back down.

“Uh no, where are your towels? I’ll get one for you,” he said pushing himself off the bed.

“In the bathroom down the hall to the left, there in a cabinet thingy, you’ll see it as soon as you walk in,” O replied, my brain practically swiss cheese from being thoroughly and utterly fucked.

He came back in a few minutes with a warm wash rag and started to wipe away the evidence of our night.

“You don’t have to, I have two hands myself y’know,” I said chuckling.

“I made the mess so it’s only fair,” he got up and put the wash rag in the hamper. “Shit, it’s three in the morning?”

“You could always stay if you want, just leave in the morning,” grabbing fresh underwear and pajamas from my dresser.

“Sure, thanks.”

He climbed back into the bed after putting on his boxers. We laid for a couple of minutes just looking at each other, a few yawns leaving both of us before drifting off to some much needed sleep.

#stardew valley #sdv shane #spicy content #( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) #one shot

[player1064]

June 2004

WIP asks but it's just the various sections of my happy (???) beville (/angsty carraville) WIP

ngl this section might not make it into the final cut not bc I don't like it but bc now that I've done a couple of becks pov sections I feel like this one might work better with becks' pov than with gary's.... but we shall see

---

June, 2004.

David’s entire career has been built around set pieces, around people saying that there’s no-one they’d rather have on a dead ball than him. Always the one to step up for corners, always the first name on the list of penalty-takers.

So he struggles, when a game ends like this.

“It’s not your fault,” Gary tells him, over and over again. Even though they both know that it is. “It’s England, innit? Penalty curse an’ all that.”

David doesn’t seem to hear him, or maybe he’s ignoring Gary’s obvious bullshitting. He just sits on the bed, curled in on himself and staring at his hands as he methodically cracks each knuckle.

He’s not crying. Gary almost wishes he would, thinks it might be easier to offer comfort to his partner when he’s not so trapped inside his own head, spinning round and round until it makes him sick. If they were in England they’d be at the training grounds right now, stood on the pitch in the middle of the night with David saying just one more kick, Gaz, I have to get it through this hoop. And again – can’t do it just once, might be a fluke. One. Two. Three. Perfect. And again. I need to do the run-up from a different angle, at a different pace. Again. Again.

Gary wonders if anyone in Madrid would’ve done that for him, stood out there freezing in the dark for hours at a time, just watching, waiting. Let him tire himself out, then take him home and put him to bed and tell him it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault.

No training pitches here, though, and no chance of sneaking out when the city’s still up celebrating Portugal’s win.

He sits himself behind David, pulls him back to rest against his chest. David still doesn’t say anything, but after a moment he feels some of the tension start to leave his body.

“Becks,” he says quietly, “you’ve played much worse games than this. Let’s blame Ronaldo, eh? The Portuguese one, I mean. Obviously. The Brazilian one wouldn’t be playin’ in the Euros, would ‘e? Fuck me, that’s gonna get confusing.” He’s aware that he’s starting to ramble, but his brain is itching to fill the silence so there’s not much he can do to stop it. “Let’s call ‘im Cristiano, that’s easier. He’s insane, Becks, honestly. I’ve never seen someone play like that me whole life, it’s – there’s no winning, against him. So let’s blame him, and then when we go on pre-season tour and you meet him proper you can speak to ‘im with all that Spanish you’ve been learnin’.”

“They don’t speak Spanish in Portugal,” Becks says hoarsely, like it’s an effort just to get the words out.

“Do they not?” This would explain why Gary’s not had much luck with the Spanish to English dictionary he’s been keeping in his locker. “Tha’s weird.”

The corner of David’s mouth ticks up a fraction. “You’re pretty,” he murmurs, stealing the line Gary normally reserves for when David’s not understanding whatever he’s explaining (ranting about) to him.

Gary sighs. “Home tomorrow,” he says, reaching for one of David’s hands to give it a squeeze. “Mum and Trace said your stuff’s got back alright, so at least we won’t have to deal with all that unpacking nonsense when we get in.”

“Home.” David smiles properly this time, tilts his head back to look up at Gary. “I’m comin’ home.”

“That you are. You spoken to the Boss at all?”

“A bit. Think we’re gonna be alright. Can’t believe fuckin’ Carlos is coming back too, can I not ever get a break from him?”

#this section brought to you by 'gary is stupid too' understanders #beville #wip asks

[ejunkiet]

voicemails (sam/darlin)

redacted asmr: sam/darlin. rated G for goodness. set after HBS. >:3

READ ON AO3

A series of voicemails Sam leaves Darlin' during a trip to Washington.

-

[CALLER: SAM COLLINS. MESSAGE LEFT ON SUNDAY JULY 10TH AT 2:33AM]

Hey, darlin'.

--

[CALLER: SAM COLLINS. MESSAGE LEFT ON SUNDAY JULY 10TH AT 2:33AM]

Hey, darlin'. Just wanted to call, as I was thinking of you. You must still be sleeping. Long trip up north, to see your folks. Hope the flight went well. Your text after you landed was much 'ppreciated.

I expect you'll be busy, these next few days. Picking up the last of your things. Wish I could've made the trip with you, but the sun's working against me. Summer. A vamps' least favourite season.

At least we're long past the solstice, even if it did feel like a mighty kick in the teeth. It was better with you there, though.

[Pauses for a long exhale, ending on a sigh.]

'S quiet round here with you gone. The everyday routine doesn't quite have the same ring to it that it used to. Not that I mind much. Life's been better with you around.

Still, it's gonna be a long drive back down South in the van, and I miss you, darlin'. The sound of your voice. The softness of your touch. The feelin' of your lips against mine.

[A soft exhale, followed by a laugh]

...guess it's too late to ask if you're listening to this in private. I'm gonna choose to believe you are, and that this isn't being broadcast over your car speakers. Allow me my delusions, darlin'.

[He hums, low.]

Still, I'm glad you have someone with you on the trip. Company always helps on a long drive… although I'm guessing you maybe view it as something else. A mixed blessing, as it were. From what I've seen of Asher though, he's a good man. He cares about people, you included. I think you'll do just fine.

[Another pause, the faint sound of nails scratching across a rough jaw.]

…and like I said before. The offer still stands. I know that you appreciate your own space. Trust me, I get that. 'M the same. I would never ask you to give that up, in any form. I just… wanted to make the offer. I have the space, if you were looking for it. A space that comes with less history, less baggage… and maybe a few less bloodstains. I think you get my drift.

And a vamp ain't a bad roommate, all things considered. You'd have your space, and I'd have mine. And maybe sometimes, we can meet in the middle.

…just think about it. S'all I ask.

At the very least, I can hold some of your stuff for you, until you find a new apartment. I've got plenty of space out here, you've seen it. William was mighty generous. May as well spread some of that wealth around.

[Another pause for a yawn, his jaw clicking with it.]

…alright. I think that's about it.

[He lets out another hum, low and soft down the line.]

Thinking of you, Darlin'. Take care, and drive safe. I'll see you soon.

[BEEP]

–

[CALLER: SAM COLLINS. MESSAGE LEFT ON SUNDAY JULY 10TH AT 10:33PM]

Hey, Darlin'.

It was good to hear your voice. Good also to know that the move is going okay, and you're on the road back down already. Heck, you're probably still driving now. Don't push it too hard. Lean on your packmate, ask if he can take a shift, and get some rest Darlin'. I want you back home safe and all in one piece, you hear?

Anyway. Just checkin' in. Drop me a text when you're done driving for the night.

[BEEP]

–

[CALLER: SAM COLLINS. MESSAGE LEFT ON SUNDAY JULY 11TH AT 6:33PM]

Hey, Darlin'.

Have to say, hearing Asher's voice coming from your contact was a surprise, although I appreciate him tapping in. Sounds like you're making good time, and I should see you tonight. Even if it's just to have you fall asleep in my arms. You're welcome to, any time. These arms miss you, Darlin'.

[Pause for a yawn, wide and long, his jaw cracking, ending with a heavy sigh.]

…S'early to be calling, I know. You're still driving. Even making good time, you've got a handful of miles left. Was just thinkin' of you. More than that, actually. I was dreamin' of you, darlin'. S'fresh enough that the details haven't faded yet, and I wanted to hear your voice. Even if it was just the sound of your voicemail recording.

…just in case Asher happens to be on this call too, I’ll spare him the details for now. I’d be happy to fill you in later, though.

I have a feeling you might like it.

Drive safe, Darlin’. I’ll see you soon.

[BEEP]

#redacted asmr #ej writes redacted #redacted sam #redacted sam/darlin #this was not what I was planning on writing this weekend but I love this format #there are a few bonus chapters to the sam/darlin fic planned #they need all the softness okay #writing #scheduled

[quotemenevervore]

Part 6!!! It do be dream team hours again lol

Not as fluffy, but I’ll remedy it later.

Content warnings: fearplay, character being terrified, soft, safe, g/t vore, chasing game.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I’m bored.”

It was a simple statement, though with the duo Sapnap was with, he knew it could lead to something fun. “Yea? What’re you gonna do about it?” “I’m not participating in whatever you decide.” George already started to back out, laying back onto the grass. “I came out here for a nap and that’s what I’m gonna do.” “You came out here to visit us. Sapnap came all this way to watch you sleep?” Dream fired back, looking to the hybrid for backup. “That’s lame. I came to see you and you’re just gonna sleep on me.” “Not my fault you’ve been too busy with your fiancés to hang out.” “You run Kinoko kingdom too, you know. That’s literally most of the time I spend with Karl. And Quackity’s been working himself half to death over in Las Nevadas.” “Doesn’t he literally have like five staff?”

“Okay, well I didn’t come out here to listen to all this, so Sapnap. Got any ideas?” Dream kept out of all the political crap since L’Manburg went down in smoke. After Wilbur blew it up, the remaining founders tried to piece it back together, with the help of some new faces as well. A little bit after the Butcher Army ended, the remaining members gave up on making it a nation and simply made it into a village-type place where they all lived. Of course, Dream still popped in from time to time, but he mostly stuck around Kinoko Kingdom or made his rounds around the SMP.

“Not really. I’m sure you can think of something, though.” Dream contemplated the thought for a minute, before turning his attention back to the blackette. “Wanna do a chasing game? Not quite like Manhunt, and you’d have an advantage and award.” “Like what?”

The blonde (most popular theory, I’m just gonna stick with it) looked to make sure George wasn’t paying attention, then pulled a splash potion of shrinking out of his hoodie pocket. A grin stretched across Sapnap’s face, and he nodded his head towards the brunette lying down.

“Oh George~” “I already hate whatever you’re getting ready to do. What is it?” Dream crept over until he was right beside the other, his shadow obscuring his vision. “What- no!” He bolted upright the second he saw the shimmering teal potion, but it had not been enough to save him from the splash potion’s radius, and both men shrank fairly quickly afterwards. Sapnap wasn’t even near them and could hear the bickering from where he sat, though that wasn’t as impressive due to his enhanced senses.

“So what’re the game rules? I’m guessing some stuff’s off the table.” “Not really. Just don’t kill us using your size advantage. That’d ruin the prize anyway. Me and George get at least a two minute head start.” “Anything against senses?” “If it makes it too easy for you to track us, yea.” “Okay. When do we start?” “What are we even doing?“ “Now.” Dream sprinted off into the foliage surrounding the spot they’d chosen to hang out, Leaving their poor goggles wearing friend confused and wary. “What’re we doing, Sapnap?”

Well, if George needed motivation, who was he to deny him it? “Well, I’m going to be hunting. You should be running.” Sapnap leaned forward with a wicked grin, watching the other scramble back. He too darted off into the foliage, and the fireborn leaned back to his sitting position. A minute thirty to go.

~~~

Dream had a good feeling about his spot. Despite his size, he’d been able to scale a tree and was tucked atop a branch, right where it connected to the tree’s body. He’d be able to see and hear Sapnap before he was too close. Though, as he relaxed slightly against the tree, he couldn’t help but wonder how George was doing. He felt a little guilty for forcing him into the game, but what else would he have done? Sleep? Besides, if he got caught, he’d have a better sleeping spot than the grass anyway.

George couldn’t really say he was faring too well with this. One minute he was just resting, and now he’s shrunken and on the run from his giant, intimidating friend. Of course, he didn’t think Sapnap would hurt him, but his instinctual fear didn’t believe that. His legs were burning as he continued sprinting, trying to search for a small burrow in the base of a tree to hide in.

He knew he was out of time when he heard the fireborn call loudly, “Ready or not, here I come~”

He flattened himself against the closest tree to him, searching frantically for a better hiding spot. His chest was heaving, and it almost hurt to take deep breaths from how long he forced himself to run. There was a small opening in the base of the tree, the root coming out of the ground and making a small arch before going back into it. He hastily curled up under the arch, trying to force himself to breathe quieter. He found the spot just in time, too, as he could hear the footfalls of the other come closer.

“Where, oh where, could my friends be?” He was taunting, George knew. He didn’t even know what was gonna happen if he got caught, all he could think of was not getting caught under any circumstances. He pressed himself closer to the ground, barely breathing in fear of making noise. The footsteps were too close for comfort now, and he didn’t dare move an inch. They stopped near his tree, and he wondered briefly if his heart hammering in his ears was that loud to Sapnap, too. “Is that you I see up there, Dream?”

George cursed himself mentally. Of course they wound up with similar hiding spots! Dream had to have seen him, he’s gonna sell him out so he doesn’t get caught, and-

“Wait, that’s a leaf. How the hell is it bright green? It’s fall!” The fireborn had to be toying with him. Trying to make him reveal himself by scaring him and then making him calm down. He still didn’t move, didn’t relax his muscles and didn’t dare look away. For a moment, there was silence.

“Jesus Christ George, are you seriously that fucking scared?” Then the larger was crouching, pinpointing his exact location, and he backpedaled out from under the root and sprinted the opposite direction. He hadn’t even noticed the concerned tone of his hunter. “George, wait- ugh.” He didn’t dare look back as he heard the other stand back up, watching him run away.

Sapnap felt awful, to say the least. At least Dream knew it was in good fun this time, but George was more afraid than Dream had been the first time. He’d even picked a good hiding spot, too; If it wasn’t for the heavy scent of fear Sapnap wouldn’t have even noticed him, and he wasn’t even trying to use his senses. The next time they did this, if there even would be, he wasn’t going to do anything without everyone being aware of it.

With a sigh, he started walking in the direction his panicked friend had taken off in.

~ ~ ~ ~

Dream was surprised when he saw George running to the base of his tree, suddenly collapsing against the roots. When he hadn’t moved, he debated climbing down and checking on him, but the foliage moving not too far away changed his mind. He tucked himself back against the tree as his larger friend came into view, slowly making his way to the other on the ground. From his distance, he couldn’t make out anything the other was saying, and instead opted to remain hidden.

The other shrunken man simply couldn’t go any further, having burnt out all the energy he had. He didn’t know what Sapnap was planning, but there was nothing he could do to stop him now. He fell against the closest tree to him, trembling while he lay in wait for the other to find him.

He had to have blacked out at some point, because he only stirred once he was surrounded by heat. He didn’t register anything else except how that warmth helped soothe the aches he was already experiencing from the sprinting he’d done. It wasn’t until he finally forced himself to open his eyes that he realized where that warmth was coming from, and panic clawed at his throat as he registered where he was.

He was in something’s mouth.

“NO!” The panicked shriek froze Sapnap in his tracks, the only movement being him carefully but quickly spitting the shrunken man into his hand. For a moment, he only monitored, making sure he began calming down before trying to ask questions. He already felt guilty as the brunette shook lightly in his hands, breathing a sigh of relief when his breathing began to even out from the near hyperventilating it had been. “You okay?” George took several more deep breaths, giving his answer some thought before saying it. “I wish you all would tell me when you wanna do crap like this. You scared the hell out of me, Pandas.” Guilt completely flooded the fireborn’s stomach, and he grimaced, holding the other to his chest for a moment. “Sorry. I thought you’d already known what we were planning.” “Nobody explained anything.” He lightly hummed in response, gently rubbing the other’s back with his thumb as he felt his pulse begin slowing down against his fingers.

As it finally went down to a level Sapnap was satisfied with, the small body started shaking again. “George?” “It’s cold.” He muttered in response. “I’m soaked and it’s windy.” “Do you want-“ “Yes please.” Trying to ignore the guilt still creeping up his spine, he slipped his friend back into his mouth, feeling him relax to the warmth. He didn’t take long to mess with him, as he was already soaked with spit, and sent him down quickly so he could rest and warm up. He remained where he was crouched, waiting for him to slip into his pouch and settle in, before he got up to search for Dream.

A small movement up high caught his eye, and he spotted the familiar green hoodie against the bark of a tree. “Oh, Dream~” He wouldn’t be able to climb it, the tree being too thin and fragile, but he could absolutely catch the other off guard and make him slip up. “Oh Sapnap~” the smaller retorted, looking down at the fireborn. “How’s George?” A wince came to the larger’s face, and the small speedrunner felt his guilt from before return. “Not too well. We can’t do this again, doing it without telling him.” Dream nodded. “Yeah, that works with me. I didn’t think he’d get so scared.” “Me either.” They simply stared at one another for a moment, both waiting for the other to make a move, before the wind pushed against the shrunken man and almost sent him tumbling off the branch. “Dream!” He barely caught himself before he fell, and for the first time since he climbed up here he felt fear climb up his spine at the idea of plummeting to his death. “Sapnap? How do I get down with this wind?” When he didn’t get an answer right away, he shivered, trying to look for a branch beneath him so he could slowly climb down. “Jump down.” “Are you insane!?” He reeled back sharply at the suggestion. “I’ll catch you, idiot!” “What if the wind pushes me away?” “You’re too heavy for that! Trust me.”

He took a shuddering breath, considering his options. He could try climbing down, potentially slipping or being pushed off the branch by the wind and falling to his doom, or he could try trusting Sapnap and letting himself be caught. After hearing about George, hearing him screech like he was being murdered, he didn’t really feel like continuing the game. If he got caught by Sapnap, he’d survive, and he could go relax and try to make amends with his likely pissed off friend. Sapnap kept his eyes on the smaller, pupils dilating as he focused entirely on where he was clinging to the base of the branch.

“Okay. I’ll jump.” The next rush of wind almost made him lose his balance, and he clung tightly until it passed. When it had, he jumped down to where his friend was waiting, praying that the wind wouldn’t start up again.

Thankfully, it hadn’t, and his body fell into the warm grasp of his friend. He relaxed into the warmth as he shuddered, the adrenaline working its way out of his system. “See? I got you.” “Yeah.” His voice was breathless, still gasping for air as he finally began to calm down. Thankfully, his friend gave him the ability to fully calm down before going any further, though he had stood up and started walking back to their original meeting spot. By the time the adrenaline had worked its way out and he was finally breathing normally again, the other was already at their spot, and most of their stuff had been packed up. At least, the stuff that didn’t require both hands. “So, other than the George situation, which I’m gonna take care of, did you like this game?” “It’s an interesting twist, I’ll give you that. I’d be up to do this again if everyone participating is on board. Maybe Karl and Quackity would join.” “Thought you couldn’t store that many people?” “Who’s to say George was ever going to agree to do this again?” “He will. I just gotta talk to him.”

Sapnap simply shrugged. “We’ll see, I guess. You ready?” Dream nodded, an exhaustion creeping up his bones as he was slipped into the fireborn’s maw. With a click, the light vanished from his mouth, and Dream felt like he could have passed out then and there. If it wasn’t for Sapnap licking at him, he might have. He’d been curious, but he never asked how he tasted. With the amount of time he’s been kept in the other’s mouth before he could only guess that he tasted good.

Today was different, though. He was sent back fairly quickly this time, and he had to force himself to stay awake while he was gently pushed down to the other’s storage stomach. Though, when he finally made it, he was swiftly and rudely awakened by something slamming directly into his abdomen. He yelped, curling in on himself as he waited for the pain to pass, looking up to only barely see the pissed off look his friend was giving him. “You are such a dick, Dream.” The venom in his voice was more than enough to convey how mad he was. “I.. had that coming. Sorry, George.” He managed to wheeze out. The other scoffed at his apology. “Your sorry means nothing when I’m gonna have problems looking at Sapnap for the next few times he does this! Why do you keep pulling this stuff!? You know how bad it goes.” Dream didn’t retort immediately, instead taking deep breaths and willing the pain to stop controlling his thoughts. “You’re right. If you’re even willing to do this next time, nobody’s going into it unaware. And if we decide to do more games like this we’ll ask you first.” “This isn’t gonna happen again George, I promise. I’m sorry too.” Sapnap added, his voice flooded with guilt. He hadn’t even purred once in the time he sent either of them down, and that alone was a good indicator that he wasn’t happy about the situation either.

George sighed, flopping back against the stomach walls. “Neither of you are forgiven. Yet. We’ll have to see how these next few weeks go.” They all knew for a fact he’d forgive them quickly, but Dream and Sapnap both were content to let him be upset with them for now. “I’m heading back to Dream’s base, and after you guys get some rest I’ll let you both out. Sound good?” “Fine by me.” The brunette settled in immediately after saying that, and Dream did the same after giving his own agreement, exhaustion crawling back up his body now that he wasn’t in danger of being hit again.

Despite the first go around being terrible, Dream was already thinking of new places to play this game at, and as he finally drifted off, he wondered if he should let the other hunters in the manhunts in on this game as well.

#mcyt g/t #mcyt vore #safe vore #soft vore #mcyt gt #g/t vore #shrunken manhunt #fear play

[blackacre13]

more younger loubbie please where she is also jealous of rusty and debbie 🙏🏼

Part one (Debbie jealous of Lou/Tess at Danny’s Poker Game) is here; Part two (but really Lou POV of part one) here:

“I want her back,” Debbie whispered to Rusty. “Fuck, I want her back.”

“Anyone can see that’s what she wants too,” he whispered back, pretending to ask Debbie about his cards.

A few more rounds gone, and plenty of drinking glasses emptied later, pressed up against the wall of Danny’s guest bathroom with Lou’s lips against hers, their hips locked together as the brunette gripped her waist tight, promising herself she’d never let go again, Debbie had to admit one of the things she least liked to: that Rusty was right.

“So what happened?” Tess asked, raising an eyebrow at the blonde as Lou shied away, hiding her face.

“It’s nothing,” Lou sighed.

“It’s something,” Tess corrected her. “Can’t remember the last time you two weren’t attached at the hip.”

“Things are different now,” Lou spat, the words sounding bitter on her tongue. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, shaking her head as she looked up at Tess. “It’s been…hard.”

“I know,” Tess smiled, her face full of sympathy as her hand found Lou’s thigh. Neither of them missed the way Lou swallowed thickly at the gesture, looking anything but smitten. “Just because somethings broken, doesn’t mean you can’t fix it. You know?”

“You ever tried to put a broken plate back together, Tess?” Lou asked solemnly as she stared ahead at the wall, her eyes growing empty and sad.

“How does Deb feel when she sees someone else flirting with you?” Tess asked after a moment.

“Seriously?” Lou snorted. “I’m here, attempting to share my feelings with you, which are sad and angry, and I’m not really good at, by the way, and you—“

“I’m asking if you think she’d react if you made her jealous,” Tess smirked.

“Could go one of two ways,” Lou sighed, afraid to put any ounce of hope in Tess’s impromptu plan.

“Meaning what?” Tess laughed, leaning forward towards the blonde, full of curiosity.

“She’d be furious. Never speak to me again. Go absolutely crazy. Throw a drink in my face, batshit sort of stuff. Or…”

“Or?” Tess waited, nodding at the blonde.

“I can’t get my hopes up like that,” Lou whispered, tears brimming in her eyes. “I can’t, Tess.”

“I think it’s worthwhile,” Tess smiled. “You never know until you try, right? And wouldn’t you hate yourself if you could’ve done something but you never acted on it. Better to try than to always wonder.”

Lou waited for a moment, until she met the older girl’s eyes once more. “So what do we do?”

“I hear Danny’s getting the boys together for a poker game tonight,” Tess smiled.

A few hours later, Lou found herself at Danny’s apartment wanting to vomit, but instead, choosing to drown her sorrows in various rounds of Danny’s best whiskey collection.

“What about Danny?” Tess suggested, peering at him over the rim of her wine glass.

“Isn’t that like incest?” Lou choked, wrinkling her nose at the thought. “Like she’d ever believe that.”

“You’re right,” Tess nodded. “Would do more harm than good. I mean there’s always Rusty, if he can stay away from a sandwich long enough to pretend he’s got some interest in you.”

“Won’t work,” Lou shook her head. “It’s gotta be—“

“Me,” Tess winked, tugging Lou in against her hip and bumping it. “I can lay it on thick, don’t worry, honey bun.”

“Don’t push it,” Lou grumbled, swigging back the rest of her glass.

The blonde was too frazzled to let go and join in on the poker fun, like she usually would have done. She craved distraction. But this wasn’t cutting it. All she could think about was Debbie and all she could obsess and dread about was things backfiring and going very, very sour.

“Miller,” Danny called out suddenly. “Make your sorry ass useful and answer the door!”

“Seriously?” Lou scoffed, rolling her eyes at him.

“Sorry, was I interrupting your plans to sulk in the corner all night?” He teased as Lou flipped him the bird before heading towards the door and swinging it open with a huff.

“Lou,” Debbie breathed, suddenly appearing in front of the blonde as Lou gripped her newest glass of whiskey for emotional support, her other hand settling on the door frame and grabbing it for dear life.

Lou didn’t know what to say, the words starting and dying in her throat, afraid she’d only be able to let out a croak or a gasp of air.

She looked good. More than good. But then again, Deborah Ocean always looked beyond stunning. The sight of Debbie’s usual trench coat, probably the only item of clothing that was well-loved and religiously worn over and over again, calmed Lou’s nerves for a moment, her body feeling more at ease than it had all night. And she couldn’t tell whether only seconds or whole minutes had passed, but she could feel Debbie studying her. Observing her. Her eyes ghosting over her body. And Lou wondered if Debbie’s mind was reeling the same ways that hers was. If she wanted to tell Lou she missed her. If she would feel the same comfort from Lou’s old blazer that Lou felt about the coat.

She needed to say something. Needed to ask to talk. Tell her she loved her. Tell her she wanted to fix this. Fix them. Anything.

But then the sour feeling was back as Tess intervened, crowding them as she fell over Lou to give Debbie a hug as she shrieked with excitement.

Lou’s eyes flickered back and forth between Debbie and Tess as Tess squealed and Debbie grumbled, clearly not happy to see Tess, and already seeming to calculate that Tess was playing another round of off-again with Danny, and could have been anywhere in the room at all, but was falling over Lou.

“Rusty’s idea,” Debbie grumbled, physically pushing past the two of them and almost knocking Lou off her feet. This was it. The game was set. And Debbie was already furious.

Lou could do jealous. Could do this. She had to.

The blonde let out a dark chuckle as she watched Debbie saunter over to Danny, full of fury, as she sipped from her glass, studying the younger Ocean.

Lou watched them bicker for a moment before Tess whispered in her ear, nodding her head towards the living room.

“You should play around,” Tess murmured. “You know Debs can’t resist you at that table. Give her something better to look at than her glaring at her brother while she sips a martini. Please? For all our sake.”

“Fine,” Lou hissed, sliding past Tess and doing her damndest not to get distracted by Debbie as she headed towards the table. “I want in.”

“You got it,” Danny grinned, shaking his head with a laugh. “Careful with those bets, boys. Lou’s in this round.”

Lou pulled out a seat, slipping into the chair as she studied the cards she’d been dealt. Child’s play. Had this in the bag. But then her face soured and she had to do her damndest to keep up her poker face for a whole other slew of reasons as she felt Tess brush against her, her hair tickling her cheek as Tess laughed, passing her a new drink. Scotch, not whiskey, Lou noted. Debbie wouldn’t have made that mistake.

Tess wasn’t even really flirting. Just murmuring nonsense into her ear as Danny tried to throw her away from the table. It was only then that Lou realized, she wasn’t the only one trying to win someone back tonight. She couldn’t tell if it was for her benefit or for Tess that the woman stuck around, standing beside her, her breath on her neck making Lou uneasy and rigid, not the way it felt when Debbie stood behind her, whispering sultry things and making Lou’s stomach stir in a sinful way.

And then Lou was livid, watching her own nightmare come true as Debbie leaned over Rusty, across the table, kissing his neck just in the spot that Debbie knew could pull a moan from an unsuspecting Lou. Placing her drink next to his. His and hers.

Lou couldn’t even be bothered with the fact that Tess was bothering her as she leaned on her and brought her drink refills. The wrong drinks. Snacks. That she didn’t like. Tried to give her advice on her hand that Lou would never take.

She wanted to sweep the cards and chips off of the table and tug Debbie away from him. Laying her down on the green and crawling on top of her. Asking if Debbie couldn’t stop thinking about her. Asking if she wanted her. To kiss her. To touch her. To Fuck her.

Lou was tipsy and she knew it. She could barely look at the cards in front of her and her brain seemed to be short circuiting as her eyes flickered between Debbie’s pouting lips, needing to kiss her, and the cleavage spilling out of her dress. But she also couldn’t tear her eyes away from Debbie’s arm that clung to Rusty’s and eventually she found herself swatting Tess away with a hissed, “Stop it. I can’t do this. Stop.”

And while she felt bad and was already ready to eat crow for that decision in the morning, Tess didn’t seem to mind, locking eyes with Danny as he sent her a wink. She tried to focus on the game, but Debbie didn’t even need to do anything for her to be distracted. She’d lost it. And she needed Debbie in every which way. Now.

She’d only made it through another two rounds before she found herself excusing herself from the table and tapping in Linus, who looked absolutely bewildered, but she couldn’t care less, needing to splash some water on her face, or see if Danny had any weed hidden anywhere, or—

“I’m sorry.”

“Debs,” Lou breathed, whipping around as she switched the sink off, her face flooding with relief and lust, trying to figure out what to say, but Debbie was pushing her back up aghast the sink as she gasped, Debbie’s hands slipping down her pants, cupping her ass as Lou’s fingers tangled into her hair laughing deliriously, wanting to scream and cry as well.

“Fuck me.”

“I’m sorry,” Lou gasped, falling against Debbie’s neck.

“No, me,” Debbie whispered, her lips peppering kisses down Lou’s neck as she groaned.

“You’re never getting rid of me again, Ocean,” Lou murmured, pushing one of her hands into Debbie’s panties as she moaned, the other groping at her breasts.

“Never,” Debbie gasped, her nails raking down Lou’s back.

“Never,” Lou whispered. “Mine, Debs. Fuck, you’re all mine, honey.”

“Forever, baby.”

#queue #blackacre13 #ocean's eight #oceans eight #ocean's 8 #oceans 8 #lou miller #Debbie ocean #lou x debbie #Debbie x lou #lou and debbie #Debbie and lou #loubbie #lou and deb #deb and lou #lou x deb #deb x lou #heist girlfriends #heist wives #Lou Miller x Debbie ocean #Debbie Ocean x lou miller #ocean's eight fanfic #ocean's eight fanfiction #ocean's 8 fanfic #ocean's 8 fanfiction #o8 fanfic #o8 fanfiction #tess ocean #Danny ocean #rusty ryan

[formulinos]

hello everybody! for the round of 16 of The Tournament, i left an open box opened so that you could write whatever you like: venting, secrets, or just normal stuff. i thought it would be nice to reply to some of your messages so behind the cut you can check some of these out! they include thoughts not only on f1, but also academia and general life stuff. i took the care of redacting some information that could lead to identification, since you're anon during voting i can't tell who is who but if you'd like to reach out to me in priv i'm always around :D

first of all, i received a lot of messages of support and thanks, which honestly idek why because i don't feel i really deserve it? you guys are very sweet, thanks for your kindness. while my priority is always to do things i like and have fun, i don't think formulinos exists without those who interact with it, so thanks to you guys for being here to support me! that being said, two of those messages more or less called my attention:

sure, if you tell me who you are! if any of you are interested, come hang out!

new blog bio!

we also got a lot of musings about the current matches of the tournament:

in this case i think your typing made a choice for you bestie :/

this one is an early semi-final and i wanted to KILL python for creating this match up, but not as much as:

that one was fucked up and i think it's enough of an evidence that it's really done at random bc i'd never!!!!! still, there was one match that was controversial enough to divide society:

evil. cursed. well, at least someone got the intention behind it!

this is literally drivers champions league!!!! 

a lot of you had different opinions about the drivers who stayed and the drivers that aren't around anymore, but one stood out... for not even being a driver

he would advance, but not as much as this tumblr user:

i love the self confidence!!!!

on the topic of tournaments:

well, i think that's an idea that could be developed! there are plenty of drivers in other series if you want to do a general one, beyond f1! 

we had a few more on f1! first of all, a classic:

what was the question?

a few of you are still worried about some recent news:

i'm not gonna claim here i'm a daniel fan, but i do think mclaren are fucked up. but then again, i would still think mclaren are fucked up even if they didn't do anything. the good thing about silly seasons is that there is hope until literally the 2023 season starts, so keep your heads high!

we have a few takes coming straight from the past:

on the cevert take, i have no clue. the sport evolved pretty quickly between the 70s and 80s and i genuinely can't tell who would or wouldn't have won a title. on senna's win however, i can def say that this was a hate crime (french on brazilian violence on the behalf of balestre)

we have friends that are back after a long time though!

welcome back! hope you enjoy your stay :D

we also have some newbies who are going through a tough time in the fandom:

i think we have a big issue in the fandom that we have either people who are ancient and are overprotective of the sport because the changes that liberty media have brought are majorly against the flow of the sport, or people who are super new and that don't understand that f1 is a cumulative sport, that is, the more you know about it, the more you understand not only the technical aspect but literally how the sport works. it's not quite like football which i find much more friendly in terms of picking up whenever you like a team and then slowly get used to the history. i'm not a hater of newcomers because we need them to keep the sport running and unfortunately i'd like to keep watching formula 1 until my hair is grey and i have dementia, but i'm not gonna lie and say i don't resent the small portion of new fans who just splurt opinions without having the necessary knowledge to see things beyond black and white. it's not that understanding certain things makes it less fucked up, but it actually helps to bring some perspective that can even make you more or less mad and give more support to your train of thought. that being said, i can TOTALLY tell when a fan is purposefully ignorant or just a newbie who is just learning about things, so i don't think you should be afraid of interacting with people around here because they are mostly levelheaded and they can actually help you out with explaining the lore of f1 (obligatory hyperfixation corner on my pinned post plug). don't be scared, just throw yourself out there! if you're not interested on knowing everything about everyone, i'd just tell you to learn a bit about the history of teams, like why is ferrari the way they are? what led mercedes to their domination? how did sebastian vettel create red bull? why must williams be stopped? etc. i think that by tracing a single "recent" timeline (you don't need to go aaaaall the way back to fangio, unless you're interested about the technological and safety advancements from the start of f1 to now) you can grasp a bit better some of the grid dynamics. and on the topic of f1, a chilling revelation:

i legit can't say anything without saying who the driver is so i won't. but damn lol!!!! well, you're entitled to your own opinions and i think that from what you said, it's like, a normal rivalry that the sport ended up creating and even though it's in the past some ppl still carry it with them. i hate timo glock no matter how much ppl defend him to me. most important is just to chill and avoid tagging your opinions so you don't poke the fans!

another f1 related confession, but a simpler one:

i'm not sure if chickpeas are super common around the globe, so i think it's fair? unfortunately in brazil they're super common though. i HATE them i wish charles had never picked it up.

we have one on DTS laid ease:

fair enough because current DTS is literally teams' PR hour. what was pretty charming about the first two seasons was how unscripted it felt - even though a lot of it was different from reality, unlike now that's basically only the teams and drivers that are willing to speak and it's obvious they want to look good or at least have control of the narrative that's fabricated. i know it's not all perfect but gosh, it fell off.

still on f1, we have a possible sighting:

trust your instincts, what do they say? i am of the opinion that if it was Lewis, you'd know right away. that man is unmistakable.

and now, a commentary on fanfics:

see i can only read RPF if i can distinguish well reality from the AU. like, i want the story to be so compelling that it feels like the drivers are just face and personality claims but they stand as characters, not as the real deal. if you changed their names, it would work equally fine as a book (although i love when there are easter eggs and whatever). i think that if you have the maturity to understand that these aren't the drivers from the moment they're written and that they have real lives and real partners, you can still have fun! the fandom is filled with talented writers who i legit think could make it a job. i'm going to recommend to you "without a hitch" aka @mickstart's bakery AU (you'll need an AO3 account as it's private) because i feel it illustrates well what i just said and laura really made a point of creating a whole universe. we saw it grow from a few fun discussions at a discord server to a few more serious discussions we had on priv and repeated demands i made for her to write it and they fucking did it brilliantly. so very proud, new chapter saturday etc. from the other users i remember write is of course my beloved maisie @jedivszombie and the amazing anna @gp2engine​. can't go wrong!

but it's not all f1. there is some f2 too!

and i would love if both of you guys could get into contact with me first bc i'm an enthusiast of gossip and second bc i legit would like to know what is necessary to get a formula job!!!!

and at last a very sobering yet necessary take on the state of the fandom:

i do like tumblr for not being very male dominated although twitter has a nice blend of reddit dudebros and tumblrinas. however, we def need more women to reach f1 because my bi ass needs more material besides old school girls and susie (besides w series).

some of you had positive new life updates!

MF Doom fucks and i cant believe it's two years already that he left us!!! i love the feeling of learning a new instrument, i remember my hands ached and i'd get short of breath when i was learning the flute but it was so worth it! keep working at it!!!

god, that's so nice to read, congrats! sun and water is always a mood booster and it's amazing to read how much progress you made in a year :D may you keep having great experiences at pool parties (and maybe the beach next?)

comeback of the century. iconic. i would get the nose checked though don't joke around these things!!

a few of you were still on last week's assignment:

i love call it fate, call it karma. any strokes really. i'm not that bi enough to enjoy hozier but i do think the quality is great! and i did listen to mykonos, it's in last round's playlist :)

we also had a few food related items:

i def need to try popcorn w chopsticks bc i always waste so much popcorn eating it in handfuls like an idiot. sushi IS my favourite food, next time you eat it lmk so we can eat some together! and while i'm not sure yet pasta is the supreme food, i def want to try some great pasta when i'm at milan next month! oh and every single alcoholic beverage sucks absolute balls.

some of you are suffering over a subject very close to my heart: sleeping

i know probably it's not That Serious to you guys, but i have been recovering from long term use of zolpidem (ambien) for the past 4 months or so now? i don't remember really. i just decided to stop taking it bc it's such a hassle to get it here in france, i have to go to a psychiatrist that barely looks me in my face and charges me 100 euros per month and i ended up running out of prescription. when i called him to schedule an appointment, he said he was on vacation for the next 15 days, and since he was the first out of 3 that i went that prescribed me some (i already did a treatment in brazil but here is much worse and someone prescribed to me an antipsychotic that left me completely zonked out) i just said fuck it, i'll wing it. i had the worse insomnia for the first week but at some point my sleeping schedule started to go back to normal, it's still a challenge but at least i can mostly sleep 7 hours instead of 3. what i find helped me was melatonin, of course because there is no way someone who was on 10mg zolpidem could just fall asleep straight away - i take between 2 and 3 mg an hour before i go to sleep and then i try not to mess w my phone a lot. if i'm not sleeping, i'll grab the phone to watch smth on youtube or netflix, but i won't do social media. i have a bag of lavender grains on my pillow and i also put essential oils on my diffuser (lavender + sweet orange) bc aromatherapy fucks. i shut every single light entrance in the house (v important during summer) AND have a face mask. i legit do SO MUCH SHIT to sleep is crazy. go to sleep well so you don't end up like me. and tbh if you suffer from severe insomnia like i do, i still think you can consider zolpidem as a path if you have the support of a doctor. for a good period, it was the only way i could manage to sleep when nothing else i had tried worked and it legit saved my life, i swear. i just couldn't live properly from the headaches and other side effects of lack of sleep. from there on you can wean it out properly instead of going cold turkey. good luck!

there have been some... atypical issues:

shit in their toilet and clog it.

freaking ruthless!!!!!!! the joys of being a child...

now we get into romantic territorry! well, sort of:

if i had to choose i think i'd go with jeff bezos. they must be practically insufferable the same way but at least jeff bezos doesn't share cringe memes daily on twitter. and i think jeff bezos' money is less unstable.

hey! it's not about the man, it's about you being comfortable with yourself enough to enjoy yourself while having sexy times with a man. it's self-care. ideally you'll go through the next step of self-care that is to block the man's number. good luck!

tbh have you tried picking ppl up at excel courses? at least you'll find ppl who have the same mentality as you and that's a starting point! (shit advice i know but don't give up!)

HATE SEXY DREAMS HATE THEM !!! exactly, you'll prob never get to fuck him and it becomes a torture bc you just know that sex dream was top 10 pipes of your life. yes this is about you and your friend not about me and valtteri bottas. 

do you guys think that really happened? i don't think it really happened. i think it's just a string of coincidences much like princess cake....

of course we couldn't go without some Work Stuff:

i undestand you totally, it seems like you went through the sort of situation that really bursts the bubble and if you really trusted them and rated them before, it shatters in instants and then it's like "what the fuck are we even doing here?". i have been going through the same here w my uni collegues (i can't even call them friends as much atm) bc they were so selfish in a given moment i was like "never again". it's been nearly a month and i still don't want to look at them in their faces and have been avoiding them, but it's like. you have to accept your feelings were hurt and give yourself time to heal but also since you're still working with them you have to at least publicly move on. my mom says to keep acting nice and even playful but that it's also a lesson not to trust people again after they haven't been reliable. since your case is work related, even better bc it's not like you Need to be friends with them. if it's been like 3 months and you think it's still unsustainable, then i'd consider changing jobs tbh.

omg poor thing lmao!!!! honestly you sound like a trooper anyway because it's a bunch of kids crying, i think that would reduce anyone to tears but you still made it! i hope your manager was capable of supporting you but the image you created is lowkey hilarious... the wiiiings. i hope that up to that moment you enjoyed your tinkerbell fantasy and that you get to keep the costume.

a lot of the messages were also related to Academia Anxiety (classic)

i sympathise a lot with the concern about your parents because i'm from a latino country, but i see my friends who eventually overcame their fears and changed their majors instead of sticking to the ones their parents liked and they are genuinely thriving. there is one in particular that just blossomed in life and is much more confident and happy. of course i don't know your particular situation with your parents so i can't say that they will or not respond in a certain way, but the fact is that they're not gonna be here forever anyway, and when they're gone you might have to face if you're the person you want to be or the person they were projecting you to be and it might sting. if your mental health requires you to change areas, do it. it will be rough, but you can make it! 

see? and there is nothing wrong with that, good luck in your studies! i myself am probably gonna graduate in my studies since i'm here in france for the double degree than immediately go back to study mechanical engineering bc i like chemistry but it's useless lmao. if i could turn back time!!!!

awww i hope you manage to stay there as well!! how are the possibilities lining up right now, do you think you could find a job in your area or keep working at academical research or something? a lot of the foreign students at my school manage to stay here after they graduate but i don't know how things work in the country you're at the moment. would you be willing to move somewhere else as well?

i'm terribly sorry to hear that, school can be so overwhelming sometimes and not having the support of your parents in that aspect def hinders the situation. ideally you'd be able to seek a therapist on the low, for instance if your school have a counsellor they might be able to help you find a solution. because of the pandemic there have been many therapists who decided to go at least part time online, which can be cheaper depending on your location (in case you can somehow afford it or some insurances might cover it). where i'm from a lot of universities offer therapeutic support either for free or for a symbolic fee from their interns or people who just graduated, which also helps (a few of my friends do it this way!). i think from the point you manage to get some therapy advice, they might be able to refer you to a psychiatrist if necessary and orient you on whether or not you need your parents to back your treatment. i know you probably have already tried to seek solutions, so keep me posted on how that's going and i hope you manage to kick start something!

we had a few other people recounting some of their mental heath struggles:

the worst part about therapy it's how trial and error it is until you find The Therapist, but once you do it's so worth it. i had one that ghosted me once and it sucked asdkfhas but i'm currently doing genuinely great with the one i have, so don't give up on therapy just yet! i have also a friend who is dealing with A Very Shitty Breakup (toxic abusive ex) and she has been doing both therapy and meditation, so maybe meditation can help you as well! and i'm not sure if you have psychiatric support as well, but maybe if you do you can get a therapist referral from them! truly think that it takes a village to deal with mental illnesses, therapy, psychiatry and even some holistic approaches sometimes (no cults please) and since you're also saying you are having a bit of a sexuality crisis, therapy could help you figure out what you're going through. again, keep me posted!

it sounds like you have a mature outlook on it and you decided to do what's best for you, so i salute you on that first and i hope that HRT is the path to your happiness (i also hope that you are not alone in the transitioning process and that you have both friends and medical support to go through it, although i know in many countries the system fucking sucks). it's terrible to hear that your family might not be supportive, i hope there are some surprises and that they come to terms with you becoming who you really are but this might take literally years and you're well aware of it. it's a heartbreaking situation and i wish you the best on this new era of your life, may the joys of becoming you outweight the saudade you will have of your family. and may you find many people who love and support you and have a found family of your own! keep me posted!!!

this one is just a message of its own i couldn't place anywhere:

i REALLY HOPE this person is well now and safe, please send a message saying you're good now!!!!!

we had a few relatable messages:

what are your favourite apartment/house hunting videos? i love to see celebrity houses, whenever there is a new architectural digest video i stop everything i'm doing.

another one:

the nice thing about aging is that you realise everybody know absolutely jackshit even if they are the most experienced people in the world. i look at myself and i still feel like i don't know anything in life, even at stuff i dedicated my whole life to, but fuck it, we keep moving, as you said. the lovely thing about life is that every person has their own pace but we all have the potential. you'll wake up one day and you will see that everything is in its right place, i believe in you!

now this one, we ALL can relate:

god i felt that one right to my tailbone. go see that psychotractor!!!!

and, to finish this, the most relatable one of them all:

easy! step 1: watch formula 1

there you go no way to like formula 1 after this.  thank you to all of you who sent messages, feel free to keep them coming! and thanks for participating in the tournament, we still have a round going so don't forget to vote! cheers and see you around :D

#hottest drivers tournament 2022 #this was super fun and i hope you keep me updated!

[ehlnofay]

Summerfest Day 4 - SACRIFICE

“I don’t want you to go,” Griss says petulantly.

She has said this at least once a day for the last week and a half.

“I don’t want me to go either,” says Torr, same way he’s said it every time she started this, “but you know how much this could change things, Griss, I can’t pass this up.”

They are sitting on the floor of Aventus’ living room, Torr looking over the bags that they packed days ago. They’ve long since had this conversation – Torr made their rounds and said goodbye to everyone yesterday – but Griss is like a dog with a bone when she gets an idea in her head. She sinks her teeth in and doesn’t let it go.

She knows his reasons as well as the rest of the kids. She just won’t listen.

“There are stupid jobs in Windhelm,” she persists. “You don’t have to leave for them.”

Torr doesn’t look up from his pack. “I do have to leave for this one.”

“Then don’t take it!”

Torr buckles the straps in place and doesn’t say anything. They’ve never been the type of person to brush things off with a you’ll understand when you’re older, but damn, right now they really want to. (She won’t, of course – they hope she won’t. Being strong-armed into joining a cult of assassins is exactly the sort of thing Torr hopes their sister will never understand.)

“Where’s Aventus?” they ask, slinging the bag onto their back.

“Upstairs. He was crying and then he went to sleep.”

(Aventus hadn’t taken the news of Torr’s departure too well. Torr isn’t sure if he was just terrified of being left alone or if he’d managed to piece some things together.)

Torr pulls their too-small boots on and starts fiddling with the fraying laces. “Don’t leave the house until one of the others get back, alright? He needs someone else here.”

“Torr,” Griss says.

“Listen to Katla and do what she says, alright? And keep an eye on her – don’t let her steal stuff. Help Skrauti with his foot when he needs it. And make sure to check that Kyrri eats when there’s food! He’s not been eating enough. I’ll send money as soon as I can, but –”

“Torr!”

Griss is standing over him, hand on her hips.

“If you’re so worried about us,” she says fiercely, “then don’t leave.”

And there’s really no way to explain it to her.

Because he can’t tell a seven-year-old girl that her big brother is abandoning her (not abandoning, he’s not abandoning them) to join a dwindling sect of assassins halfway across the province. He can’t explain that they know where he lives and he doesn’t know if refusing would risk the kids. He can’t justify the part of him that doesn’t want to refuse, because immorality and unfamiliarity aside, the money. Even if he wasn’t worried about the consequences, how could he just pass up a chance to make sure that they all eat? That they have shoes that aren’t ripped to shreds and clothes that fit and a chance for things to get better? What kind of caretaker would he be if he didn’t grab this opportunity with both hands?

He doesn’t want to go. He’d never want to leave them, and the prospect of living among a group of creepy killers-for-hire is certainly not enough to tempt him, but he’ll do what needs to be done to care for the people he promised to help.

“I have to,” Torr says, and gets to their feet.

Griss keeps glaring up at them, not one whit abated. “You have to stay here! We need you here!”

It feels, Torr reflects, like being torn apart.

“Griss, you don’t understand!” they snap. “I’m doing the best I can! This is a –” their tongue trips over the word good – “an opportunity that I’ll never get again! I have to take it!”

“No you don’t!”

“Yes, I do!”

Griss thumps her fists against his chest. He catches her wrists and she struggles like a feral cat. “No, you don’t!” she yells, loud enough that Torr worries it’ll wake Aventus. “You don’t! We don’t need it! We’re doing fine!”

“For now!” Torr says, trying to bring the volume of the argument down, trying to hold her flailing arms still. “For now, Griss. What about when we’re not? What if we get turfed out the house and we have to go back to sleeping in people’s yards? What if someone gets hurt or sick like Skrauti did and we need money for a bed and the healers? What if Swims gets arrested again and this time I have to pay her bail or break her out? What if there’s a blizzard and there’s no way for any of us to get money? What if I get in trouble, or Gellir has another episode, or Kyrri stops eating, or Kat gets in a fight –”

Griss’ face is screwed up, her lips pressed so tightly together that they’ve turned white. She tries in vain to kick out at them. “Stop it!” she shouts. “Stop it!”

Torr presses her hands to her chest. “No. What if?”

“We’d still need you,” Griss argues, but she’s shrunk in on herself, her fists tucked under her chin.

“We’d need money more,” Torr says. “This is the best way I can give you what you need. I’m going. I’m sorry.”

Griss’ face crumples.

“Are you going to let me say goodbye now?” Torr asks, and Griss faceplants into their stomach.

Torr wraps their arms around her.

“Promise you’ll write letters,” Griss says, voice sniffly and muffled, into his shirt.

“You won’t be able to read them.”

“Promise you’ll write them anyway.”

Torr squeezes her tight. “I promise. And I’ll visit as often as possible. And I’ll send money as soon as I can.”

“It had better be a lot of money.”

“As much as I can get my hands on,” Torr promises. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Griss mumbles, and she disentangles herself from him. “Go on, then.”

Torr goes.

#turns out there are downsides to leaving everyone and everything you know to become a killer for hire #who knew? #oc tag #torr #tesfest22 #skyrim #dark brotherhood #my writing #fay writes #microfic

[crazydoughnutlady]

Part three of RAEsed in the End.

master list prev

Sherbet messed up. They had lost Athena. It was supposed to be a fun night! Along with their house doing weird things, and the mysterious messed-up coordinates, nothing was going right in town. The town had given the weird coordinates to Will. Considering he was an adventurer, he knew the most about coordinates. But until those coordinates were figured out, Sherbet was stuck in their house, brewing useless potions.

***

Rae ended up getting lava from the potion room. While they were setting up the newest member of the household room Athena commandeered Bucket.

“There you go Athena a nice and comfortable room for a nether hybrid, at least according to the books,” Rae said, opening his arms wide to show off the room he had worked hard on. It had the staple moss roof and some purpur accents however, it also had lava streaming down in the corners, adding a constant heat to the room. A necessity, if a nether hybrid was going to stay in the cold end.

“Wow it looks great and it’s super warm. But why do you keep saying I’m a nether hybrid?”

“Because you’re from the nether?”

“How do you know that if I don’t even know that?”

End hybrid was puzzled for a moment before he realized he never explained to his newer housemates his ability, “Around people and objects, I can see these things called auras. They allow me to know where things are from they are beneficial for my research.”

“Wow, that’s so cool!”

“Yeah so you’re a nice red Ghosty is green Centross is this mostly green, with a hint of purple.” Rae began to ramble.

“What about you? What color are you?” Athena but in.

“Oh, I don’t know I can’t see my own aura, but it’s probably a mix of purple and green,” Rae explained as they began to head towards the garden.

“Wow, you’re really smart! You know a lot of stuff, is it okay if I call you Doc?” Athena excitedly asked walking alongside, the taller scientist.

“of course, that is if you’re my lab assistant,” Rae said with a sly smile. Thinking if Athena had a job around the house helping Rae with his research they would be less focused on how they can’t get home.

“I can be your lab assistant!” Athena’s eyes widen and sparkle.

“of course, I have a lot of books in my study and I’m sure you could learn some handy things. Do you know anything about redstone?”

“Nope, but I’m very willing to learn!”

The two of them rounded the corner coming into the main room. Ghosty and Centross were happily chatting on the moss carpet.

“-how can you eat that many glowberries I think it’s a problem I mean your room is filled with them!”

“It is a perfectly reasonable amount of glowberries.” Centross tried to defend himself.

“Wait, Centross’s obsession with glowberries is just a him thing. I thought it was an all overworlders thing.” Rae but in pulling a book out of nowhere.

“No, not all overworlders fill their entire bedroom with glow berries” Ghosty helpfully explained, shooting Centross a pointed look.

“You filled your entire room with glow berries?” Athena said, putting their hands on their hips.

“I’m going to the garden with Hope at least she doesnt annoy me about my glowberry preferences.” Centross then marched out into the garden. with Rae and Ghosty just “mhm”ing him.

“So what are you two up to now that Athena’s room is done?” Ghosty asked once Centross had definitely left.

“Rae was going to teach me about redstone!” Athena said, smiling excitedly.

“Oh, good luck with that I don’t have any understanding of redstone or sciency things,” Ghosty said, with a sheepish smile.

“Neither do I why don’t we learn together!” Athena said, grabbing Ghosty’s hand, and beginning to drag him into the study.

“Oh! I don’t… umm… know-” Ghosty nervously stammered.

“Athena if Ghosty doesn’t want to join he doesn’t have to,” Rae said in a soft tone after he had finished laughing.

Ghosty’s face had become a light pink, “well it’s not that I don’t want to join. It’s just I feel like I’d be stupid.”

“That’s OK you’re not gonna be stupid. You will be learning together it’ll be fun plus be nice to have someone to share my research with that is actually paying attention or can understand me.” Rae said with a kind and smile as they begin to head into the library.

***

“Good news everyone I’ve deciphered the coordinates. We can begin the hunt for Athena!” the masked adventurer, announced to the townspeople. They were all excited and happy to find their missing member most especially, the alchemist.

Gathering up their gear, they prepared.

next

#fable smp #rae morningstar #ghae #caspian solcrest #AU #end duo #uncle duo #fanfic #athenahennah #centross #sherbetquake