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4channerguy · 2 months

Note

Fluff Nagumo (sakamoto days) x GN reader!! It could be about anything Idc as long as it’s fluff!! Include nsfw in the end if you would like too I don’t mind 🫶

✧ nagumo as your boyfriend

◜ ⟣𓂃 hey anonn :3 sorry for the hold up i've been suffering writer's block for like months and shit & i decided it’s the best for me to do like a little headcanon thing cuz like tbh i don’t think i could write a full fic tho 🫡 also the nsfw part is lacking at best because i genuinely still do not KNOW how to WRITE for NAGUMO!!! WHY OH WHY!!!! anyway i hope it caters to you. xoxo (。・∀・)ノ

warnings ✎ : nsfw content, gender neutral reader (genitalia is not mentioned only your chest and your butt KEK) obsessive behavior mayhaps? ➜ ┊ pairings: nagumo x reader

♯┆SFW .ᐟ ★

he's such a wonderful bf *sigh*

he's also quite a teaser ngl, i think he blows on your neck a lot and when you flinch and glare at him he always has a shit-eating grin.

quite overprotective of you, even if you're literally extremely muscular and can literally bodyslam someone, he cannot BEAR the sight of you getting a small scratch on your face. or you getting into a fight

he's also a drama king

"oh hey nagumo...uhh what're you doing...?"

"applying rubbing alcohol on your face duh, who did this to you?? >:("

"what're you talking about...oh."

"oh?"

"heh...um that was me. i did that. i was...ripping a candy bag open. with my teeth. and the sharp part...cut my face." *insert mlp squee sound*

"..."

he's still going to thoroughly disinfect it and check on it everyday until it's gone. what a king!

he's very handsy, so you will find his hand SOMEWHERE on your part of your body.

you get so used to it you don't even notice.

if you ever sleep together, he always has both of his arms wrapped around you and whenever you wake up in the morning, you feel a puddle of drool in your hair. like always.

when he's sitting down next to you he always has the habit of grabbing your nearest hand and massaging your phalanges. or just intertwining and detangling your fingers with his.

also has the habit of just staring at you for no reason

it's like when you accidentally hold eye contact or stare at a person while your zoning out

except for his case he does it intentionally.

quite possessive of you, in some cases it can be unhealthy. also a bit jealous. (i might go on with this in a ramble if i could)

always offers his frumpy looking jackets and hawaiian shirts for you to wear

and you do because...who tf wouldnt lol

and when you do wear them he melts a little

trace his tattoos with your fingers!!! he finds that gesture slightly intimate

also you two have a game where every year for his birthday you pick out the dumbest tattoo design and make him get it

last year it was a badly drawn dick with two circles and a long oval lol

♯┆NSFW .ᐟ ★

i think he's personally an ass/thigh man

he's always finding a way to sneakily grope them in public settings

speaking of that he probably likes public risky sex (what a freak literally)

the thought of you and him getting off in the back of some janitor's closet or something like that with the door unlocked will get him hard ngl

he also probably has a size kink

AND this might be an unpopular opinion BUT i personally think that he would want to explore pegging

but you didn't hear that from me........................

he would think about asking you about it time to time but he won't personally act on it because it's not something he wants to experience it yet

(sorry)

dick size is kind of around 5 or 6 inches when hard probably and it's not very girthy i will not lie 🙅but it hits all the right spots i guess so yass?

he likes bondage, but wants to see you tied up most of the time :3

⋆｡𖦹 °✩ 04.12.24, do not repost or translate my content :^)

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unfriedough · 1 year

Note

HIII

ok so I know it says you do fem but r u also able to do gender neutral? If not, it’s ok!!

Anyways

Hcs of Zuko w a S/O who’s like, blunt as hell, and doesn’t rlly express emotions a big majority of the time lmao

‘Taken’- Zuko x female!reader

Masterlist <3

An: JASMIN DISAPPEARING FOR ANOTHER FEW MONTH?? Why’re you surprised?

Also, this isn’t gender neutral. I know you asked for it but I said on the guidelines that I’m only writing female :( I didn’t wanna blow off the whole request tho

Summary: hc’s of zuko and you being falling for each other - but both of you such at love.

Warnings: reader was meant to be blunt but idk how to be blunt.

A shrug.

That was all Aang got when he asked for your opinion on Zuko’s joining of the team.

(“Couldn't care less,” you said when questioned about it later, on the soft beach of ember island)

Truly, it didn’t make a difference to you

Yes he was needed - firebender and all - but it’s not like he’ll be teaching you right?

Wrong.

Turns out you can learn loads from just different fighting styles and stuff, and you were intrigued in the foreign moves

Zuko would 100% get worse at what he was doing under your scrutinising gaze.

I mean that's how he interpreted it

Really there was no emotion

The firebender definitely asked you about why you were watching - took much courage though (poor boy)

“You’re good at what you do.” you paused, “Sometimes,”

“Sometimes?” he rubbed his neck, confused.

“Yeah, sometimes I’m surprised a twelve year old beat you that easily,”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged.

“You think you’re better than me?”

You cocked your head to the side, furrowing your eyebrows, “I think we both know the answer to that,”

So that’s why you're now in this position.

Zuko’s pinned under you, arms immobile, heaving heavily

“Fine! I surrender!”

“No, I won,” you said, getting up and dusting your clothes.

“Whatever,” he walked away

That very night, Zuko laid awake in his hard bed space, thoughts of you plaguing his mind. He replayed the spar like a thrilling movie, his heartbeat soaring as he recalls just how close you were to him.

He didn’t like the feeling rising in his heart, it felt like it was bursting. He placed pale, slender fingers onto the centre of his chest sighing heavily to attempt to rid himself of this awful feeling.

“You’re breathing too loud,” you whispered, careful not to wake other people in the room.

“What do you want me to do?” he frowned, sitting up, and matching the intensity of your glare.

“Breath like a normal person, not like a fish just discovering oxygen,”

Nothing better to describe his face than this: ._.

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” he whispered back, confused.

“Good night Zuko,”

He grinned, “It was funny,”

“GOOD NIGHT ZUKO” you whisper shouted.

You assumed he would relent, but the sleep deprivation mixed with the high of having a small (huge) crush gave him the confidence to talk to you just a little longer.

“Do you wanna fight me?”

“With the intention to knock you out? Sure.”

And now you’re both outside, and I guess he had the upper hand.

He wasn’t tired, and you were exhausted

Your muscles were fatigued, but you weren’t going to back down

After an embarrassingly short rematch, you’d found that Zuko had beat you, and you laid defenceless.

“I win,” he mocked, getting up.

“Did you really?”

He whipped his head back around, any faster would’ve given him whiplash, “Um? Yes?”

“Are you sure?”

“YES!?”

“Okay then, whatever you say,”

You rolled onto the sandy area, spreading your limbs with a heavy sigh.

Zuko looked up slowly at the sky, hesitantly nearing your resting body.

“I don’t bite prince,” you rolled your eyes.

“I wouldn't take your word for it,” he giggled.

You simply looked at him, not a glare though, or a smile or smirk or scowl or anything.

You seemed to be thinking about something, an internal war. On one hand, you wanted to reach out to him, pull him closer to you, tell him how you felt. And on the other, you didn’t want to. It was too mushy and feely for your character, you felt embarrassed you even thought about it. You looked away promptly, unable to conceal the frown on your features.

“You okay?” he asked, worry laced in his words.

“Sand’s not comfortable, it’s gonna give me a headache,” that wasn't a lie, it was disgustingly hard to get comfortable when laying on bare sand.

Zuko gathered up whatever confidence he had left, and scooted so he was sat criss-cross above where your head rested.

He gave a dopey smile, before opening his mouth to say something. You looked upwards at him, his grin contagious, contaminating your annoyed features.

“You could lay your head on my lap?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you scooted up, carefully rested your head onto his body, a look on your face.

And after a little more staring, he came to realise what it was,

You were shy

All the signs pointed to it; your averting gaze, fidgeting fingers, feet working antagonistically from point to flat (like when you point your feet and then like put them how you stand idk how to describe it ), and your quickened breathing.

He leaned down slightly, his nose practically touching yours.

“Hi,” you breathed out, fighting the urge to look at his lips.

Who gave him this confidence ??????????

Sleep deprivation that's what

“Hi,”

You reached your fingers into his hair, slightly tugging down at him, trying to infer what your words failed to tell.

His eyes glistened with adoration, before fluttering shut as he contacted your lips.

The firebender’s lips were cut, you assumed maybe he did that, a stress coping mechanism you’d frequently told him to quit

When the kiss broke, neither of you moved.

You stayed on that beach the whole night - eventually even falling asleep.

You on his lap, and him lying down uncomfortable in order to keep your head comfy on his lap

Zuko woke up before you, rubbing his eyes as Katara came into view

She had been on a stroll, with the intention to swim, when she came across the scene

She’d never seen you look so soft, or Zuko look so tender

Her eyebrows flew up as she made eye contact with the boy, eyes snapping between your curled up figure and his sandy-hair covered face

Then furrowed again as she clocked in the scene

Zuko’s face glowed red as he realised Katara saw this, and even more so when he felt you shift, burying your head in his knee area to avoid the light of the scorching fire nation sun, a quiet groan leaving your lips.

A gentle smile tugged at the corners of the firebender’s mouth as he watched you intently, a blurry emotion behind his irises.

“Can I ask: what?” She whispered, eyes blown wide.

Her voice, albeit quiet, brought you out of your trance.

You yawned, spreading your limbs then covering your face from the sun.

Suddenly, you gained enough consciousness to acknowledge your surroundings, and you quickly opened your eyes, despite the blinding light.

A gasp left your lip as you sat up, making eye contact with the flushed fire bender.

“Good morning?”

“Hi.”

You said at the same time, an awkward silence over taking.

Your eyes suddenly followed a sound of shuffling - only to see katara standing there looking rather out of place.

“Hi.” She said.

“Hello,” you replied, embarrassed.

“I’m just gonna-“ she pointed off to the side, before basically running away.

You both watched her leave, then turned to look at eachother.

The fire bender was dazed in the view of you, the way your eyes twinkled, and your lips remained pouted.

But the way that your face was illuminated, despite not even facing the sun, you looked straight out of a movie.

He was so entranced, that zuko was convinced that if the moon was to see you - it would be jealous of your effortless beauty.

You, on the other hand, were about to slap him for staring.

You tilted your head to the side, so confused that a question mark could’ve popped up above your head.

Immediately he looked away, attempting to rid the feeling of his heart in his throat.

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to stare?

Bye he was so embarrassed

“Shut up.”

You narrowed your eyes, pushing him onto the sand so that he was under you,

“And what if I don’t?” You leaned in, whispering.

His heart was running laps, his mind equally pacing.

“Hm? What would you do?”

He sat quietly, eyes wide, as he took in the proximity. Your lips just looked so…

Hey is it just you or is he about to kiss you?

It’s not just you because he did!

It was a sweet, long lasting, testing the waters type of kiss

And that’s basically how you started dating

Did I or did I not get carried away?

Anyways now that you're dating !!!

Being his S/O was definitely something you could get used to

Zuko is absolutely the type of guy to give you constant princess treatment

He’d act like you’re already married - at this point you’re just missing the ring

He always made it a point to make sure you were fed and hydrated, warm too

Maybe he’d abuse that warmth power a little

You’d be lying in the same tent and he’d be like “Come closer you’re cold,”

“Zuko im room temperature im not cold,”

“No You’re cold come here,”

“Just say you want a hug,”

“Shut up,”

He tugged you closer so you laid against his chest unable to see his face - probably cuz he was redder than his tunic.

It was all the tiny things he did that get you really comfortable being affectionate

Even though he himself was shy, he knew he had to be the one initiating touch

Another instance is when you go eat - he'll ensure he sat closest to you, and always brush hands with you when passing you your bowl. Of course he thought he was slick when he would sit close enough so your knees touched - but you noticed.

You noticed but you didn’t tell him you noticed, you knew he’d be embarrassed if caught red handed.

As someone who felt like he was never enough, physical affection was something that really made an impact on him

Something as simple as tracing his scars with gentle fingers, or rubbing his arm soothingly after a particularly rough day

Although your words couldn’t convey how you felt, you weren’t raised to be touchy feely, you knew he understood what you meant

He could hear the words of affirmation even while you slept, he could feel the comfort radiating off of your curled body in his tent

He knew you felt comfortable around him, and that alone was a great achievement in his mind

Zuko was used to coming off as gruff and mean, but you know it was a facade - a coping mechanism

You knew he was the same thirteen year old mommy’s boy that he was years ago

These hc’s are so long 😨

You always made it a point to treat him gently - despite being such a blunt person

You found yourself holding your tongue more often, being nicer to people around you because you got used to only having compliments for Zuko.

Maybe, you’d even try to put your affections into words - and although not formulating like you wanted, with fumbling words and fidgeting hands - the thought was what counted

He knew being super fluffy was a struggle for you, and that you were trying your best to be your best for him

He could see your effort - and you could see his.

The gang definitely saw you as a weird pair at the start

They found out once they saw Zuko laughing, hiding his face and you smirked at him.

Your hands rested on his torso as you willed him to take you seriously

You just said he looked nice when he trained - you both know what you meant

His shirt was clinging to his skin and his hair stuck to his face - my man was just out of a movie scene.

After the gang had long dispersed, you spoke your mind.

This brought the shyness out

Unfortunately, it was Aang who saw the interaction

“Zuko? YN? What’s so funny?”

When the rest of your friends heard Zuko, YN, AND FUNNY in the same sentence, they peeked.

“Nothing,” Zuko mumbled, his ears tinting.

You flinched your hand away from him, coughing awkwardly.

“Wait a minute,” Sokka narrowed his eyes at you.

“Why’re you guys on the floor?” Toph asked.

Zuko lifted his head, looking at you with panic, you returned just the same

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “I don’t know..”

The prince looked to you for help, only to find you trying to hold back a laugh.

Your lips tucked inwards and eyes pointed downwards.

He looked forward again, side eyeing you so aggressively.

“What am I watching?” Sokka asked quietly.

“I wouldn’t know,” toph mumbled.

You were laughing as Katara seemed so puzzled, and yet so sure of what her discovery could mean.

“Wait a minute,”

“Well that’s my cue!” you got up abruptly, dusting your clothing before practically beelining to the house.

The group was left staring at Zuko, who was on the verge of burning you alive

Eventually they got it out of him

Jk they got it out of katara

“Wait, what were you gonna say?” Aang asked katara.

“I was just gonna ask about that one time she was asleep on his lap,”

Zuko looked like he was contemplating drowning himself

“SHE WHAT”

“Yeah on the beach before… like two days ago,” she paused, “What was that about?”

“Umm, she was sleepy?”

“Why didn’t you sleep in a room then?”

“…Fresh air.”

“Fresh air?”

“Fresh air. Mhm”

“And what about when you kissed?” Toph added.

She was blind, but she knew how to sandbend.

It just so happened that that night seemed to be a sleepless night all around, the young earth bender was perched on a small chair, where her feet could touch natural ground so she could experience the surroundings.

(Or because she wanted to know what you and Zuko were doing, she’s blind not deaf)

“W H A T” sokka yelled, everyone staring blankly at Toph.

“Yeah, two days ago, this very beach, sparring in the middle of the night… ring a bell Zuko?”

“Not at all.” He stood his ground.

“Cut the crap,” Suki giggled, “it’s obvious!”

“What’s obvious?” He played stupid.

“Tha-“ suki was cut off by the dramatic show Sokka was about to put on.

“Oh YN! You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met!” He twirled, “I just wanna-“ he made a loud kiss noise.

The gang erupted into laughter, mainly because of the poor fire boy's reaction. His face was not only red, no, his eyes were wide, his mouth agape.

He dropped his head into his hands and groaned.

“I think that’s enough teasing,” katara giggled.

Aang and her went off to go do- whatever they do.

Suki, sokka and toph remained. As they were busy laughing,

You overheard what he said as you were just around the corner, and decided to take a jab at his previous theatrics.

You walked up to them from behind, kicking sokka’s knees inwards.

He yelped as he fell to the ground, immediately looking up to the source.

You towered over him, the ghost of a smile on your face.

You paused, a rare smirk making an appearance on your face.

“I’m flattered, but unfortunately I’m not single,”

An: I’d like to imagine chaos would start here

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anystalker707 · 1 year

Text

Admiral, my Admiral (1/2)

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x [gender neutral] Admiral! Reader Words: ~ 2 500 Summary: An unusual relationship that starts with a deal. Tags: no talk to him (ace) he angy / he gets to be babied tho / um, there's angst if you don't mind

MASTERLIST

PART TWO

• Ace could remember passing out during a fight. His division wasn’t able to defeat the marine because they happened to run into a fucking strong division

• He tried his best to fight, but he just ended up getting weak when the spear of Sea-prism stone touched his chest and there was nothing else he could do, not even burn the ship so he would die uncaught, in the bottom of the sea; the last thing he could see was the fucking admiral walking towards him before he passed out. Where did the admiral come from, anyways?

• He woke up in a room he didn’t recognize, but could feel the familiar movement of the sea under him, so he was a little relieved he hadn’t been taken anywhere on land. Or maybe it was actually worse, if he thought well

• The whole place was too... patterned. Minimalist. It seems like a guest room and, when he leaves the room, the place keeps the same dark gray, white and blue colors. He keeps going until seeing a sign with the Marine symbol on it makes him shout and try to start lighting everything on fire until he notices the anklet on his leg and it is made out of that goddamned stone

• It is stupid, but he still jumps on you in an attempt to kill you with his bare fists at the moment he finds you at the desk only to be sent flying into the sea with a kick and rescued by your subordinates

• Ace is so full of anger, so small compared to you as he stands on the deck and stares at you—if only looks could kill...—while you don’t even bother to order him to be chained or anything. He feels like he will combust when you look at him and have the audacity to grin

• Your subordinates seem to know something that Ace doesn’t, but none of them pipe a word about it, all of them always talking the minimum possible with him and ignoring his comments whenever they get him food. He almost feels like when he was taken in by Whitebeard all over again, but this time, the feeling isn’t exactly welcoming because the only one being nice to him there is the fucking admiral, even if you can get on his nerves with your sarcasm and superiority complex. That is living hell

• At first, he thinks you will execute him—doesn’t happen. Then, you’re probably taking him to some headquarters to make him prisoner or something—also wrong. He tries to bribe one of your subordinates into telling him, but it never happens; not like he has anything that may interest them

• All he needs to stop fussing around so much is a letter from Garp telling him to trust you; not really the most convincing thing, but surely does leave a thought in the back of Ace’s head

• If you don’t kill him and have a goal, then the logic is simple; you need Ace alive, so you won’t kill him even if he’s the most insufferable fucker in the whole world

• Spending a few weeks on your ship does make Ace soften, though. He ends up finding himself in late night talks with you on the deck because, as much as he doesn’t want to chat, your sweet talk does keep him going. Not to mention the way he finds comfort in you, somehow

• Ace softening up doesn’t mean peace. His way of showing he is more comfortable around you resolves itself around Ace suddenly falling asleep in the most inconvenient spaces and following you around while making the most annoying comments. It doesn’t matter that you’re an Admiral and the power you have—he will get on your nerves because that’s just how he is, even more knowing he won’t get killed no matter how much he annoys one of the strongest, best known marines and warriors out there

• “What’re you doing?” “...Paperwork.” “Well, that I can see. What’s it about, though? Can I see the files about me? You better have everything right. I’m sure my bounty would be higher if you knew everything I’ve done!” “Why don’t you go take a nap or something? Leave me alone, fire boy.” “You’re so annoying! I can’t even—” You look up from your papers and he is... sleeping again. Okay.

• “You must be receiving a great amount to be taking care of me.” “Oh, I wish I were...”

• The relationship between you two turns into something like; Ace: Yo, I’ve broken about 20 important things, almost sank your ship again and made one of your subordinates almost give up on being a Marine You: I know this and I love you

• Ace is a little suspicious if you really have any real destiny—you’re sailing without stopping at any island for longer than a couple of days and never going to any of the headquarters. Are you going against the rules and acting in secret? Really??? For real??? Damn it, someone for once should tell Ace a word about what’s going on. Not only would half of his doubts go away, but also something interesting would happen in that godforsaken ship before he went crazy

• Although, watching the admiral is quite interesting. Well, the admiral is quite interesting...

• He grows quiet for a while, spending some days processing how you are always checking on him every morning and every night before he goes to sleep, sometimes bringing you food in person and spending some of your time with him

• Why do you want to know if he is emotionally okay and has everything he needs? It's almost like you care

• Then there are those long, uncomfortable silences in which he doesn't know what to do because, maybe unintentionally, those little comments of yours and light smirks have his face turning bright red and something stirring inside his chest

• How did he even allow the admiral to get into his head like that? He can't let it continue this way, though

“(Y/n)!” Ace whined as he walked into your office and didn’t even care about what you were doing before he threw himself on your lap, holding onto your shoulders as he dramatically leaned back.

“Ace—”

“I am afraid I am about to die! Your ship is so, so boring and your subordinates never talk to me!” He closed his eyes, making a face as if he were under a lot of pain—or at least trying to—, with no regard for the documents he almost made you ruin. “Like, why can’t they give me the combination to the vault? Or let me mess with the sails? That’s no fun!”

You would’ve chuckled if Ace weren’t being so obnoxious, so you just leaned back on the chair and observed him; he pouted at the silence and sat up properly on your lap. He takes in a breath, but you never allow him to voice whatever it is.

“Look, I am throwing you in the sea if you continue like this!”

“As if!” Ace chuckles. “You can’t k...”

Oh, it can’t be. Still, the soft snoring that comes from Ace confirms your theory and you roll your eyes, bouncing your leg lightly.

“Oi! What do you think you are doing, Ace?” You finally let go of your pen and your papers, shaking Ace a little. “Get lost, fire boy! I already forbid you from interrupting me while I’m on my paperwork! Why don’t you go read the books I lent you, hm? Go sleep in your room, at least. In the kitchen. I don't care.”

“It’s no fun without you.” Ace groaned, and you couldn’t help but to smirk and raise an eyebrow; a red tone took over his cheeks. “I—I mean, you’re the one who—”

“The one who?” You nodded for him to continue, resting your cheek against your palm. “Go on.” Ace exhaled, pressing his lips together as he looked away, and the lack of answer made you chuckle while wrapping an arm around his torso. “Oh, you don’t know what to do now that you have my full attention? Just wasting my time? I gave you rules to stay on my ship, Ace.” Your fingers held onto his jaw so he would look at you. “And I—”

Lips pressed to yours interrupted your words. Ace’s lips. You couldn’t help but to kiss back because he kept pressing his lips to yours for a few seconds, dismissing your hesitance, and even daring to hum softly once you started to kiss him back.

None of you stop. It started a chain of kisses that was enough to make you forget about your paperwork, lost in kissing the lips of a filthy pirate that fell in your hands because of a deal. Both of you had this same feeling; the spark of knowing that this was wrong and forbidden was what ignited your feelings for each other. Ace’s lips tasted like the sea, like the sweets he was eating earlier, but also tasted like freedom. A little bit of power that you had over the Marine and the World Government because no matter what you did, you knew no one would agree to have you dismissed from the Marine and they couldn't control every single action of yours.

Your fingers hooked with the hair on the back of Ace’s head to pull him away from the kiss a little. “You are down bad,” you mumbled into his ear.

• Once, Ace hears you talking to Sengoku. He sees you in your office, back to the door and with a den den mushi in hand. Your voice is calm, but not the sort of calm like you are when you raise an eyebrow at Ace then shrug in dismissal before you tell him to do whatever he pleases, no; it is the type of calm when your subordinates do something you don’t like, so you suppress your annoyance to long glares and pursed lips

• “No...” You say to the snail, “I am busy. I won’t be there for the next meeting. You already know my position in this. It is the same as Garp’s. And you know I haven’t seen Fire First. I would’ve reported already. Has he disappeared or something? You haven’t heard a thing about him for weeks.”

• And he doesn’t listen anymore. He doesn’t want to. Either way, it is enough to change the context again, from “stop locking me here” to “thanks for keeping me safe”

• You don’t understand what’s up with Ace being softer around you, but it is well welcomed. There’s something sweet about how he places a chair next to your desk and folds his arms over the table with his head on them, quietly observing you work until he falls asleep

• Actually, one night, Ace knocks on your bedroom’s door. He just walks past you and collapses on the bed at the moment you open the door. And fuck. That boy’s audacity. Whatever. It’s nice to hold onto something while you sleep

• And the fact your subordinates will walk into you making out with Ace on your lap while you’re in your office and just ignore what is happening is just... Hell, you love it

• There’s a whole new routine with Ace by your side

• The moment Ace has to leave comes quicker than you expected. It’s already time for you to return to your usual admiral duties and also for Ace to go back to the sea because there’s no longer a threat

• He can’t believe that keeping him was a whole plan to keep him safe while you, Garp and a few others did your best to convince the Marine that Portgas D. Ace was not a threat, so he shouldn’t be executed

• Ace is at loss of words, unable to formulate a thanks that’s genuine enough and expresses all of his feelings because you only fucking let him know about it when you’re dropping him at an island where Whitebeard already awaits for him. He wants to cry, to hug you, to kiss you, to ramble about how thankful he is, all at the same time—but he can’t

• You chuckle at how lost he seems, grinning happily and telling him he can go because he is safe now

• Ace doesn’t leave without giving you a kiss, a deep one

• What seemed to be a short-term thing, ends up leaving your hearts aching for more once you’re away from each other, in the sea. It is risky, it is dangerous, difficult to manage, even, but you’re picking Ace up in a random island to spend the night with you whenever you are able to, with excuses to the marine that you ended up letting him escape because your priorities were others. Sometimes he will just show up randomly with that devilish smirk on his face

• As much as you’re an admiral, your little relationship does reach the Marine’s eyes and ears, and it doesn’t seem to help them in the slightest bit because you’re not only with one of their highest potential enemies; your behavior also encourages other pirates a little too much, as if it gives them some sort of excuse or extra freedom. You’d always been a little rebel considering the Marine and World Government’s rules, so maybe you’ll go a little too far soon—if you haven't already

• Getting rid of Ace wouldn’t mean just getting rid of a big threat—it also would have you under the Marine’s control once for all

• First of all, the Marine can’t get rid of an admiral so powerful like you, so it isn’t a choice to dismiss or execute you, so that leads to Ace. Given the way you are lovesick, getting rid of Ace will teach you a lesson—and a lesson to every other marine and pirate as well—, and your head will be focused on doing your job. You won’t rebel against the only people who know your weaknesses and help you be stronger

• The new census doesn’t need you and Garp to vote; it doesn’t matter what a small biased minority things about such a threat

• You already suspect what's going on when they send you across the ocean, and it gets worse when they start to guide you to a weird island you’ve never seen before

• Held. You’re being held across the ocean because they know you can save Ace if you have the opportunity, because you’re too precious to be wasted for such an insignificant matter. You’ll just be force– I mean, invited to a confidential meeting later to establish that your relationship with Ace will be forgiven and forgotten since they know it won’t happen again and you’re such a great admiral that they can’t risk losing you. You will have to sign a few documents and be under constant watch for a few months after it

• For now, you will just sit in this cold cell knowing your love is being executed

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

PART TWO

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mblue-art · 2 months

Note

Sorry for that question but I really curious!

What made you fell in love with Cross and Lust?

Tell us more!!

😳😳😳 hhuh what rreally,, , ,,, 😳 u wanna hear me yap abt my sillies, my beloveds,,, (i appreciate the enthusiasm tho omg 🥺🫶🫶🫶)

i want to have the yuris with lust and the yaois with cross I I MEAN HWHWAT 🧍‍♂️

UM.

haha anyWAY,, (oh gog this ended up long)

🍫—

cross checks so many boxes for me it makes me go insane. too good to be true. versatile(??)— like it's somehow way too easy to put him in Situations. (he's bf and husbone material??? just -20hp me now; that already kills me) he's. hh. gawddamn there's reasons why he won a utmv sans sexyman poll.

he's like a crush that you can't get out of your head no matter what you do, i'm so freaking down bad for him it's not even funny anymore. ever since simping for cross i have not been the same since. the man has changed me. the attraction/simp feelings hit me like a bat out of nowhere and i don't understand why it's so intense— i. hh.

,,i like when ppl make him dorky. stupidly silly (absolutely love shitpost shenanigans and would absolutely LOVE to get into silly shenanigans with him and with/without his bestie epic). fun to be around when he's deemed you as a good friend. stars, he'd give good hugs. strong, solid, and warm, the kind of hugs u don't wanna pull away from so soon. a little endearingly cringe. fanon simp cross is adorable and fun to mess around with. tsundere cross is adorable and fun to mess with. cute anxious guy under all that intimidating aloofness. when i say his smile is an absolute treasure, i mean that. his blush making him look like a grape or a glowing bulb is adorable and makes me wanna tease him more. anime protag/character vibes so strong i wanna have a cute bl/shoujo manga romance with him type shit yk.

then there's times when he's The Hot Dude and i think it's illegal if he's all confident and smug and dom actually (/hj) cause that makes me wanna fucking fite him HELLO? SIR? ILLEGAL????? (<- the fight or flight response of a tsundere towards a milder tsundere LOL).

-hp every single time. mf gets successful d20 rolls w/ rizz on me and i get a critical hit every time. it's a 50/50 either i fluster to death and become weak or i wanna fite his dumbass

i'll. i can fight him. i'll lose but i can fight him for sure. (why is he so cool⁉️‼️💢💢💢RRRRRRR)

he makes me feel things. lots of things. (mostly fluster but when i'm feelin sooper soff i jst wanna shower his skull in keeses. ima kissy lil guy)

tired cross makes me just wanna take care of him. want him to come home to me without any worry because he thinks i'm his safe space.

when he's being stubborn i want to tell him to chill out for a little while, take a break and watch some funny stuff while drinking choccy milk or eating his fav foods and be cozy. bapping him if he's gonna try to get out of this too soon. he's gonna get the free time he deserves n relax n get cuddles n kithes.

the way he can gently hold my hand and look at me with a sincere look in his eyelights and say something genuinely affectionate feels like cupid shooting an arrow through my soul, but also feels like a balm. (a promise of loyalty and faithfulness.) (a kiss on the forehead? a cherry on top.)

well now i can't be mean to him with all the nice he's saying and doing. i just want nice things for him o(-< (even if he's a bastard sometimes lol<3 all circles back to the silly) (silly is always important)

💜—

i love lust. so so so much. the fanon interpretation of him, anyway.

(don't get me wrong, i absolutely adore the feminine slay content of lust; but am i wrong for yearning for more masc lust content?)

i like my lust sans respectful, goofy, sans-like, an absolute sweetheart, and a caring, wonderful life partner. under the flirty personality and charm(ing looks), is a sans behavior that made me fall deeper. (he makes me feel very gender too) (ohmygofd yeah no he actually makes me think of gender sometimes rauauagrrgh<3/pos). i don't have to worry about showing my cring, weird side to him, because he's also a gremlin,, o(-< he doesn't have to present himself all nice and pretty all the time (although he's always pretty in my eyes). he can be comfortably himself; with me 🥺

i want to be his safe space.

i want to see him heal and be happy and be happy with me and give him all the love i can give and care for him and make him soso happy i just want him to feel SO sosososo loved, he deserves so much more

he's the only one who's able to get a certain reaction out of me; to pull flowers out of my heart. to pull out words of love and devotion and appreciation, heart bursting with affection only for him.

for him, i would try. i would live for him. i wish someone like him (the him i've created from interpretations and headcanons) was real irl.

i want to not care i don't care if he's a gorgeous well-known person that people fawn over, or if he's a campus crush, etc.,

i want him to think i'm worthy enough to keep in his life. for him to know how special he is to me, for him to know how much i want him in my life as much as i want him to keep me in his.

my immediate reaction when i think of him is: 😊💕💜💜💜eeeee kicks and giggles and flaps hands teehee

i love him so much i get a heart-on for him (/silly but it is true sometimes; love him so much it aches (in a good way))

#ask #mblue talks #m rambles #(embarrassing myself under the cut 😁!11! !)#(these words are messy like my thoughts hahagahgs forgive me for not making it proper or something)#(oh whoops is that my heart down there uh haha sry i must've dropped it lemme pick it back up—)#(honestly it gets kinda personalll?? but yeah my heart haha whoops)#(head full yet empty only purple beloveds...)#(took me so long to answer bc... thoughts... i wasn't sure which ones to omit or include)#crossrot #lm #cm

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ashlayan · 10 months

Text

Little blunder

College AU

Tw: SFW, can be read as gender neutral tho written with a fem reader in mind, fluff.

Pairing: Dan Heng x Reader.

--------------------------------------------------

You pull up in front of the apartment complex and slowly get off your bike. You take out your phone, swipe past the 99+ notifications from every group chat you're in and go straight to Dan Heng's contact.

The last messages there were "Hey, I think I have a crush on someone and need advice" and his reply, "wanna talk about it after tutoring tomorrow?"

You type "Here", then quickly make your way up the stairs. With any luck, he's just woken up -today was his day off- and still hasn't seen any messages about this morning's... fiasco.

You reach his apartment door just as he unlocks it, probably after he heard you approach, and give him a quick greeting, closing the door behind you as you enter.

"So," he starts, "should we focus on History or Chinese literature today?" He asks, still under the impression you're here for your regular tuesday afternoon tutoring sessions. Then... He doesn't know yet. Ok, that's good.

"Actually..." You start slowly, gathering your courage to just be done with it. Come on, I can do this! You think, attempting to pump yourself up. "I'm here to borrow something" You lie instead... Hm. Maaaaybe I can't do this ...

"Of course you are," An eye roll. "what do you need this time? A dictionary? A calculator? Or am I a living dictionary, calculator, and thesaurus all in one?" Had things been normal you would've probably laughed.

"Well you see..." You glance around his apartment nervously, and say the first thing that comes to mind. "I kinda need your dish washer?" You try, and proceed to mentally facepalm. Really?! His dishwasher?!

He narrows his eyes in clear confusion. "You need... my dish washer?" He repeats. "What do you want a dish washer for? You don't even cook?" He sighs.

"If you're planning on borrowing stuff that's mine, then just ask. No need to make stupid excuses like needing my dish washer, of all things. I am your friend, you know that, right?"

"Ahahaha the school population might disagree at the moment." You reply nervously.

"..." He gives you another confused look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

You take a deep breath. "Soooo you know how I've been volunteering to help out the broadcasting club? With equipment maintenance and such?"

He nodded, though now he just looks more confused.

"Right um, about a month ago, I found a club member crying alone after a bad breakup... To comfort him I told him he was a great guy, that anybody would be lucky to-"

"Didn't you already tell me all that?" He interrupted quickly, probably sensing you were still stalling.

"Right, right, just making sure you remember." You answer smoothly enough.

"So anyways, that guy may or may not have asked me out for the school dance?" You pause, gauging his reaction, but he turned his usual pokerface back on, and it gives away nothing.

"Uh? Congratulations?" Realizing he won't say anything more, you move on for now. "No, no. I didn't agree or anything," you say quickly. "Instead I uh, may have rejected him by saying I have a boyfriend, and when he insisted I was lying, I maaaaayyyyyy havesaiditwasyou?" You rush through the last part as your nerves get the best of you.

"..." There's silence in the room as Dan Heng stares at you, processing what you'd just said. He swallows and takes a deep breath. "You. Did. What?" His words are measured.

"I panicked? I'm sorry!"

"Panic led you to name-drop me as your non-existent boyfriend?" He asks with a hint of irritation.

"Well that's because I was thinking about you-" You say before you could think better of it, and by the time your hand slaps your mouth shut it was already too late.

A small smile spreads across his face. The first unguarded reaction you'd seen him make since the beginning of this conversation. "Really?" He asks. "Did you... did I happen to cross your mind as you rejected that person?" He looks at you, his eyes narrowed in amusement.

You blush. HARD. "Well- I- I mean! Yes! of course because-" You think of a quick lie "-because I needed to return your..." You slide your hand into your pocket, pull out the first thing you find, a chewing gum packet he'd given you the day before and say "The- This...?" You end Lamely.

He shakes his head, smiling. "Nice try," he says, "but there's something else on your mind. You're bad at lying." He puts his hands on his waist and smirks.

"Now, tell me the truth. Why did you name me?"

You sigh, utterly defeated... As expected of Dan Heng "Well, I guess I wanted to ask you out to the school dance? I- I've been meaning to finally tell you today but then that guy came out of nowhere and asked me to go with him and I just- welp." You shrug.

He raises a brow "Wait... am I... your crush?" He asks, not believing the question. "It's me, isn't it? Huh." He tilts his head, a bit confused and amused.

"But... why? Why would you be into me? I'm literally the definition of a nerd," he says while glancing over to his desk, cluttered with books and his gaming build.

You jump at the opportunity to tease him "What's this Dan Heng? Are you fishing for compliments?" You ask slyly, hoping to make him blush so it wouldn't be just you.

His ears immediately turn red. "No, I'm serious," he says, "Why me?" He looks at you with a puzzled look, then says, "I mean, I'm flattered, but I don't get it. Out of all the boys in class, why me? Not that I'm complaining, mind you," he chuckles.

A small win for me! He went blushy blushy! You giggle to yourself. "Well what's there not to like? You're always there for me, be it calling me first thing in the morning to make sure I'm awake for classes or tutoring me so I understand the material, you even cook extra portions of food for me because I am not um... adept in the kitchen. Like how thoughtful is that? Honestly how could I possibly not fall for you?" By now you've completely run out of breath.

Dan Heng's cheeks are flushed pink. I can die happy now "Y-You... you're actually serious?" He asks, feeling a wave of relief and joy wash over him. "Because I... I feel the same about you. You're so... you're the sweetest, kindest, most considerate person I've ever met, (Y/N). You're always helping people, even in things completely unrelated to your own life... I mean, broadcasting equipment maintenance? You had to learn a completely new skill just to help them with that."

He took a deep breath, seemingly steadying himself, then continued.

"And... I just have this feeling whenever I'm with you, my heartbeat quickens and my stomach turns in a flutter. Do you... do you feel the same?" This was probably the most honest and vulnerable he's ever been with you.

You smile brightly. "Yes! And I'm ecstatic you do too!!!"

He smiles as well and nods. "When's the dance, again?" He asks. "And how should we tell our friends that we're dating, now that I've said yes to your... confession?"

"If it even is called a confession?" He mumbles in amusement.

"Ah yeah about that..." You smile sheepishly, debating how to break this one to him.

"What... what is it, (Y/N)?" He tilts his head in curiosity. "Tell me. I don't bite," he teases.

"Sooo, remember how this whole thing started in the broadcasting room? Remember how March uhhh... Sometimes forgets the mic open?"

Dan Heng's eyes widen. "No way."

"Hahah... Yeahhhh." You fish your phone out of your back pack, unlock it and pick a random group chat. Sure enough, the chosen conversation topic is still the "Broadcasted failure of a confession LMAO!!" You hand him your phone, let him scroll through the messages, knowing he probably doesn't bother to even join most of these group chats.

"Huh," he starts, "aren't they being a bit... Harsh on this gu- wait." His eyes narrowed. "What does Jing Yuan mean by 'he was being a total creep??'" he asks alarmed, now looking at you.

"Ehh that might be an exaggeration? He probably means how the guy wouldn't take no for an answer, it's kinda why I had to lie in the first place, I mean I was being considerate at first but he really wouldn't let up... Huh now that I think about it, maybe Jing Yuan's right. "

Dan Heng didn't seem to like that one bit.

"You know what? I'm actually fine with the broadcast thing," He replied coolly. "If more people knew about my feelings for you, then that's great. As long as they know you're dating me now."

"So. Are you going to be my date for the dance?" He asks.

You grin. "I'd be honored to!"

"Great." Dan Heng smiles and reaches out to hug you. "So then... that means we're officially a couple?" He grins slyly. "And does that mean you'll call me honey now?" Oh he's trying to make you blush.

You smile back, every bit as mischievous "I was actually thinking of calling you: Darling, love of my life, light of my days, and saviour of my grades! But sure whatever you like." You say innocently. He laughs.

"I think I like that last one," he says, reaching out to brush a stray hair away from your face. "But I want you to call me Dan Heng, alright? If I ever heard someone refer to me as "Darling" or "Love", I'd probably turn into a ripe strawberry." He seems to consider something for a moment then says: "And when we see each other at the dance, will I be able to give you a kiss?" He asks cheekily.

"...!" When they go bold I go BOLDER! " You can kiss me right now." You say, summoning every last bit of confidence within you.

He leans in and gently presses his lips onto yours, holding it for a moment before breaking apart. "Will that suffice?" he asks with a grin.

"Now, come on. We better hurry up. All our friends are probably waiting for us at the cafe," he says and offers to take your hand.

"They're gonna be thrilled. Imagine how happy March will be, learning her little blunder for once caused something great." he adds with a bright smile.

--------------------------------------------------

Author's note:

Alhaitham: I'm just a feeble scholar.

Dan Heng: I'm literally the definition of a nerd.

Kaveh & I : \(O-o)/

#dan heng #hsr dan heng #dan heng x reader #dan heng x y/n #dan heng x you #hsr #college #college au #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail fanfiction #honkai star rail leaks #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #dan heng honkai star rail #hsr au #au #alternate universe #fluff #getting together

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stevesbipanic · 2 years

Note

I heard Punk! Steve and came running to your ask box 😂😅

Anyways tell me more please

Ofc Ally ❤️ I give you the origin of Punk!Steve.

After the events of 1985, The Harringtons never returned. They left a voicemail for Steve, something along the lines of bad investments, disappointments and don't call. Steve didn't hear it til he got out of the hospital. He broke down, went on a bender for a week that only Robin managed to pull him out of once she found his house.

They talked a lot, about childhoods and being misunderstood. Steve felt he could tell Robin anything after their time in the mall bathroom and so he did. Robin had brlught a book about the library about overcoming trauma. It probably hadn't been the books intention, but they burnt a lot of stuff that night. A big bonfire by the pool, chatting the precious lawn, Steve didn't care.

They burnt the couch, the pool chairs, his parents mattress, bits of his rooms wallpaper, shirts, that stupid car picture. Anything that his parents had given him that was meant to build him in their image.

Next was the bathroom. Clippers in hand Steve shaved the side of Robin's hair and she did both of his sides in return. Robin cracked a joke that no matter what they did to Steve's hair it still looked perfect. Steve wanted more. A trip the the drugstore provided an answer. A quick bleach and dye later and Robin and Steve giggled at the red tipped hair.

They weren't done, Steve never wanted them to be done, with every hour he felt more free.

"You sure this is safe?"

"No but I saw a girl do it in the bathroom at school and your room is probably more sanitary."

"OW WHAT HAPPENED TO 1 2 3!"

Steve thought the safety pins through his ears were cool.

"When you turn 18, were getting matching tattoos."

"Soulmates for life, dingus."

The following weekend they took a trip to Indianapolis. They checked out thrift shops and spray painted storefronts. Steve traded his converse for docs, his polo's for ripped and mesh shirts. Splashes of solid colour were added to his look. They ripped his jeans in the car. Steve hoarded pins upon pins.

Back home, Robin carefully lined his eyes in dark kohl. His eyes becoming sharp and calculated. He smiled at himself in the mirror, staring back he finally saw Steve, just Steve made completely by him.

"Honestly, looking like this I could carry around my bat."

"Would certainly be convenient next time we're captured by Russians."

Steve rolled his eyes looking back at her lounging on his bed.

"What're you reading?"

"Oh? Um it's a zine I picked up at the last store, you know...the one with the pink triangle?"

"Oh that one." Robin had been educating him about queer history as much as she could for a small town girl. "What's it about?"

Robin bit her lip, "Um well, it's about people like me, and people not quite like me, ya know? Like there's a whole bunch of labels out there, I just wanted to make sure mine fit."

Steve smiled, "And what did you learn?"

"Definitely a lesbian, sorry babes." Steve laughed in return, his feelings for Robin had shifted firmly to platonic and she knew that. "Here, you should take a look, will help broaden ya education."

Steve took the zine and started to flip through it. Inside it detailed genders and sexualities. Steve was intrigued to find out there were more than just boys and girls, but that wasn't what caught his attention the most.

Bisexuality

Steve's eyes seemed to linger on the page, almost for too long.

"Steve? You ok? If you're getting a migraine again we can read it later, no rush."

Steve pulled his eyes away, "No, um, no migraine, it's just, um..." Robin could easily pick up the hesitation in his voice, there was a slight tremor in his hands. She slowly leant over, taking back the zine.

"Oh, Steve."

"Just didn't know a person could be that."

"How does it make you feel?"

"Honestly, I feel more like me than I have my whole life. Thank you, Robs, for all of thos you know."

"Course, dingus, you're my schmuck for life, and... I'm always here if you need to talk about things."

Steve nodded, no words were needed now between them, there would be more days, more discoveries. But now, for now they could sit together, two broken kids feeling a little more whole.

Just Robin.

Just Steve.

Just Them.

#this became punk steve and steve learns anout bisexuality but i feel they would overlap #stranger things #punk steve #stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley #ficlet #punk steve harrington #punk!steve

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starfilled-galaxy · 15 days

Text

Uh uh introductions for the alters + system info bc we're a bit more comfy now (also I'll put some info I've said before so I can link it on pinned lol)

We're a proxy system (linked) which means there's a permanently frontstuck host and instead of switches we only blur/blend Each alter is associated with 1 emoji that we tag and emoji combos = blurry/blended

Collectively sex-repulsed asexual, also collectively share the same neurodivergencies (adhd, autism, social anxiety) tho some of us have more heightened nd traits than others

Quoigenic! Which means we don't know if we're traumagenic or endogenic or mixed origin or smth else and honestly we don't fucking care to find out

We use I/me when talking regularly but we/our when talking about the system as a whole

Usually we use the term "alter" but we dont mind sysmate/system member/headmate etc, alter is just the shortest lol

Alter intros under cut bc it's kinda long!

💫 - Niko! Not a fictive, just decided to steal the name from niko oneshot. Alterhuman (otherhearted cat). Perma frontstuck host... Genderfluid, prnfluid, grayro gaybian

🌌 - Aster. He/him, no fucking clue on gender or romanticity but he's probably the one with most of the space related labels I use lol also alterhuman

🩸 - Fang. I know the least about them but they uh... mm definitely has the worst mental state of everyone. dont wanna get too into it but they Are Not Ok. maybe they're the trauma holder? And they're also alterhuman :3

and the fictives.... there's a lot of these guys ;w; especially omori fictives, probably bc its on my mind 24/7

🏀 - (rw) Kel. Bigenderfluid, usually he/him but sometimes uses she/her and very occasionally ae/aer and xe/xyr. No idea on the romanticity but he is dating the Sunny fictive so um... Also he seems to have an unhealthy attachment to the rw Hero fictive like actually getting depressive when he's not around

Genuinely fuck off if you treat me/source like a meme stop it I'm a person too you assholes -🏀

🌹 - (rw) Hero. Transmasc, he/him. This the bitch that keeps flickering from existence... nobody (including him) knows why help

Uhhhh source is suppose to be 19-20 but wow I do not feel that old, probably bc the body is a minor -🌹

🔪 - Sunny. Trigender/boygirlenby, he/she/they. He fucking loves scene, also he apparently introjected as like post-game (true ending) so his sight is kinda blurry in his left eye (yes im aware canon sunny got his right eye stabbed.... its just a source-fictive disconnect ig)

🧡 - (hs) Kel. Guy, he/him. Cis doesnt feel right but he's not a transguy so he's just kinda... neither lol. Yeah there's two Kels. And two Heros. dw about it. They just share names. Anyway he's silly he's the little baby of the alters I think he's the one who was blended with me when I felt the visceral need to make a pillow fort a few weeks back

🍳 - (hs) Hero. Transmasc, he/him. He's shy... surprisingly more of the "quiet type" than Sunny lol

🦴 - Hector (dog). DOGGY!! Kel and Hero's lil shiba inu is a fictive! He/him, no gender just dog. Not to be confused with agender, just unlabeled. He's very excitable and BARKBARKBARK!!

🍃 - Hollyleaf. Wow omg a not-omori fictive?? no way... Christmasgender/xenogender, she/her. Kitty cat...

🦁 - Lionblaze. Can't figure out his gender but uh he/him. He's silly and fluffy and honestly kinda similar to both of the Kel fictives personality-wise

I know source was written in a super boring way but it still makes me sad to be called boring :< -🦁

AND UH YEA THATS IT !!

#niko.txt #💫🏀🌹🦁#proxy system

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literaphobe · 1 year

Note

I’ve seen a lot of gender swapped mlb stuff where either one or both of their genders are swapped. How do you think any of those variations would change the love square dynamic or the characters in general, if they would change it all?

GONNA TALK ABOUT WLW LOVE SQUARE. other variations will be elaborated on if u come back and ask my sweet anonie <3

adrienette: i feel like fem adrien would give marinette so many more demons. i could go more in depth about my visions but ifl it would be really funny to see alya try and convince marinette that girl adrien TOTALLY likes her like its SO obvious and marinette is like IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING ALYA SHES NICE TO EVERYONE!! plus we dont even know if adrien likes girls!! and adrien walks by only overhearing the last sentence and is like oh! i do like girls :) and then after marinette’s recovered from her heart attack the new meta becomes OKAY BUT WE DONT KNOW IF SHES ATTRACTED TO GIRLS. MAYBE SHE JUST THINKS GIRLS R REALLY FUCKING COOL!! the next day the papers announce that girl adrien is in love w ladybug

ladynoir: chat noir has got the biggest crush on ladybug like she is so seriously gay like if she didnt already know she was gay if she was the most repressed gay girlie in this gay girlie world she would know what she was with ONE look at ladybug. ladybug has no fucking idea chat noir is in love with her. she thinks they are best friends. no one understands this life other than Her. one time some sleazy guy hit on chat and ladybug beat the shit out of him. he just so happened to be akumatized but she was so pissed off and violent about it. the dating rumors and the media are the same about it. aka incredibly invasive and ladybug is just as pissed off that they think they are dating. she gets so aggressive about it to the point where chat noir asks her what she thinks about the lgbt+ community. and chat is like im sorry like im a wlw and if u dont like gay ppl thats okay i just– and then ladybug like kisses her and is like im gay too u idiot its just weird of the media to speculate so harshly and then chat is just like FROZEN and ladybug freaks out shes like IM SO SORRY I SHOULDNT HAVE LIKE I MEAN I SHOULDVE ASKED and chat is like NO ITS OK UVE KISSED ME BEFORE ANYWAY and ladybug is like THATS DIFFERENT I HAD NO CHOICE BUT HERE– and then chat kisses her to calm her down (and shut her up) and pretty much just even the scales in terms of initiated kisses. when news about girl adrien x ladybug breaks out ladybug is like ???!!!!!!!! and chat is like um do u hate that she likes u i mean the news probably waaaayyyy exaggerated what they interrogated out of her and like um so overstretched it probably haha what do u think of blonde models and um adrien i guess like do u hate her do u think shes cool do u think you could fall madly in love with her and spend all your days together

ladrien: ladybug saves girl adriens life and shes like oh thank you ladybug… ur so wonderful 😍 like so clearly into her but ladybug is dense af and also nervous af she doesnt even believe the rumors!! shes like ur welcome girl adrien haha um yeah so um i saw the news but dont worry!!!! i know how the news exaggerates all the time like they always call me and girl chat noir a couple even tho we are not!! and adrien is like oh so like… ud never date chat noir? and ladybug is like uh… we are… friends and partners. do you.. want me to date chat noir? So the news really got it all wrong and you dont like me at all? and adrien is like I DO LIKE YOU… UM WHO WOULDN’T LIKE YOU? <- she has no idea how to save this bc she wants to date ladybug but doesnt know which identity to chase her with best and she thinks ladybug might not like EITHER of her identities so shes like confused at shit but also she very easily gets her hopes up and shes like maybe i should tell her???

marichat: ifl the events of glaciator will always be so inevitable for marichat. like marinette will always look so inviting on that balcony of hers staring off wistfully into the evening air and chat noir will always feel drawn to it when ladybug is nowhere to be found… what would be fun about wlw marichat guys

#ask #mlbposting #miraculous ladybug #love square #idk what else to tag

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a-trick-or-two-with-lepers · 5 months

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A Decidedly Unserious Review of Hair 2001 (ft. Drew Sarich)

I’m back for another lunatic review. This time: the 2001 recording of Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical. This is so silly. I literally decided to do this like two hours ago because @peppi-mint wanted to hear my thoughts on it. Well, peppi, prepare to get an earful because I had some THOUGHTS

(I’m so sorry)

Aquarius- um. This is literally so cool. The hip-hop beat sets the tone, which is vastly different from every Hair recording I’ve heard. And then the violins come in and it’s like YOOOOO. And then the broadway singing comes in and it’s like YOOOOOOOOOOO! And then the dissonant harmonies hit and it’s like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I really like this. Very different and fresh and new and Y2K in the best way. I can’t stress how fucking amazing those harmonies sound.

Donna- Ok, Drew!! Give us that punk-rock energy! The electric guitar sound is really neat, and I kinda dig the reverb as well as the way Sarich sings most of the lines straight intentionally. Whereas the harmonies were highlighted in the last song, they act more as a part of the orchestra in this song, but it still feels full and tasteful. Really enjoying this so far.

Hashish- I’ve literally always skipped “Hashish.” It’s boring to me. I’m a sober loser. But THIS?! What are they doing to my boring hashish!! The instrumentation is so experimental and interesting to listen to. I like that the cast isn’t going over the top with the vocals, too. They’re supposed to be high, so going full belt and vibrato isn’t really the vibe.

Sodomy- I’m literally Debbie Reynolds-ing right now. This guy’s voice has me biting my lip for real. Catch me joining the Holy Orgy ™ any day of the week.

Colored Spade- This production is obviously informed heavily by black music. Which makes this song slightly more comfortable to listen to. I can’t really speak on it though- I’m white. All I can say is: it’s a bop. Also, the second half?? So fucking groovy. Yes I’m using that word unironically. It’s a good word.

Manchester England- Stripped down acoustic guitar… mkay I can get with that. Makes the full orchestration pop out more. Loving these glam rock vocals from Kyrre Kvam.

I’m Black- It was literally 22 seconds long and sounded like a car commercial with that fade in and fade out I’m lmao 😭Where’s my Ain’t Got No?!?!?!?

Dead End- Ok so I rarely hear this one in any recorded productions. I’ve only ever really heard it in college production bootlegs I watch on Youtube. This version has me saying WHY DID THEY REMOVE IT?!? It’s seriously so good.

Air- The vocal affectation that Jeannie usually has tends to annoy me, which I guess is intentional, but I’m glad it’s more toned down here. The industrial sound of the instruments clashes with the light and breezy vocals in a really fascinating way. It’s like a big burly man wearing a flowery perfume. Thumbs up from me.

I Got Life- Teehee if you take out your left earbud you get an a capella intro 🤭Anyway, I always love this song. This version is no exception. Treat Williams is still top, tho (Rest in Peace, King).

Hair- The titular bitchular! (-Athena P on YT). Something about the way the sound is split between each ear in the intro (vocals in one ear, guitar in the other) is ticking me off. That’s just me, though. Overall, this sounds so fucking good and it’s such a vibe. I’m not sure if it’s Kvam or Sarich who hits those high notes but they hit, man.

My Conviction- Hehehehehe this sounds so out of place I love it. (It’s supposed to- just like Herod’s song in JCS)! Also how are these vocals from a man?? They aren’t my favorite but they sound soooo much like a woman that’s crazy. Anyway gender is fake

Easy To Be Hard- Um. Can we say elegant? Can we say… mystical? GORGINA?!? BRO when the,,, fuck what is it, a marimba or some shit comes in with that overarching angelic tone- fuuuuuucccckkkkk. So good. Also the shaker keeping the beat tastes good. I can taste this song. It tastes like a capri-sun on a hot day. I’m in love. Hold up- added verse? Why haven’t I heard this-

Frank Mills- Awwwwww this is cute. I like this woman’s voice. Very smooth and nice to listen to. What I’m noticing so far about this album is that they treat each song like it’s its own person, you know? Like- every tune sounds coherent and like it belongs, but it also sounds like its own thing with its own special instrumentation. It’s just. So neat.

Be In - Hare Krishna- The speaker shifting got me like 🫠so good. It’s like ASMR. Another thing I’m noticing about the ensemble vocals is that they’re so… earnest? They aren’t worn like clothing, they’re like a part of the individual. ... Any arrangement that can make me describe music like this deserves the world.

Where Do I Go- Fuck. I just love arrangements that do something new. This sound is so clean and genuine and beautiful. If I could insert John Savage’s vocals into this it would be perfect (No shade to Kvam- I just love the movie version of this song so much). This is probably my favorite song from the musical (I literally wrote a 30k+ word fanfiction based on its lyrics), and I’m sooooo utterly pleased with this interpretation of it. All I’ll say is that the end could’ve been a bit louder/more intense- it is an Act I closer, after all. More drums, please!

Electric Blues- TELL ME WHOOOOOO DO YOU LOVE MAN! *guitar* Ermmm I love Electric Blues I love it. I wanna inject this song into my bloodstream. This version doesn’t stray too much from the original, and it slaps. Always does. Also I just realized this came out before the Broadway revival. I wonder if the revival folks took a bit of inspo from this version 🤔

Black Boys- ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS (I love the staccato guitar chords, offbeat, percussion, tonal shift during the solo represented by the instrumentation, and just everything else about this).

White Boys- My eyes literally rolled to the back of my skull during that intro. So good!! So tasty! Also these VOCALS! Less energy than the others I’ve heard, but that’s not a criticism. It’s more reminiscent of the original cast recording. Once again, ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS. 🍽️

Walking in Space- dodo do do dodo dooooooo. (guitar). Again, the vocalists aren’t overdoing it, which is working. I’ll probably smoke marijuana to this song at some point. Looking forward to it. Also when she sang “ 🎶floooooooaaating, flipping, flyyyyyying, tripping 🎶” I was like 😶‍🌫️(that’s me floating flipping flying tripping). . I want to consume these vocals

The War- Don’t think I’ve heard this one in any other production? It definitely fits the vibe they’re going for. I’d love to know the context for it. Eh, actually, I think I can guess...

Three-Five-Zero-Zero- Listening to this is making me realize how important the bass guitar is as an instrument. Songs would sound so much less full without its constant, droning presence. Also, I would’ve loved to see them lean even further into the experimental vibe for this one so that the tonal shift would sound more stark. Regardless, it all sounds really good. Love the harmonies, especially at the end.

Good Morning Starshine- I have a poster of these three words in my room. Also, I like this version of the song. Very 2001. Kinda reminds me of that song “Walking on Sunshine,” similar vibes. Not my favorite version, but still a bop and very fun.

The Flesh Failures/Eyes Look Your Last- Guitar is so yummy. I don’t like the chorus singing the first part. I’m just too used to it being a soloist or Claude. Also, it feels kinda too fast? Sorry, I have ridiculously high standards for this song. I think it’s one of the best songs ever written. Given that fact, it’s hard to fuck it up. So, this sounds really good still, obviously. Just didn’t hit quite as hard for me. I feel like they tried so hard to make every other song sound unique and they dropped the ball a bit here. It sounds like they’re trying to just get it over with… which is very contradictory to the song’s message. Also, why isn’t “Let the Sunshine In” a part of the title? Seems kinda important 😬

Hippie Life- …huh?

Aquarius (Bonustrack) - director’s cut- It’s the remix 😎

Overall, I was really impressed by this album. I’m glad I took a listen. It seems like a very approachable version of the controversial musical. I think it’d be a good album to show friends that aren’t into musicals but should still get to enjoy Hair. Some choices weren’t my style, but I’m genuinely so astounded and excited by others. Act I was better than Act II. Drew Sarich was great, and so was the rest of the cast. Ultimately, a very cool take on one of my favorite musicals of all time. Thanks again to @peppi-mint for recommending this to me- I’m so happy I got to do another silly little stream-of-consciousness musical review!

#hair #hair the musical #drew sarich #musicals #silly

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gaylorvader · 2 years

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Platonic Lady Dimitrescu x ftm reader

Summery:One of the new maids refuses to wear the maid uniform, Lady D thinks he’s trying to be rude but really he’s just dysphoric about it.

Word Count:599

Warnings:getting accidentally misgendered once

(A/n this might be kinda shit cause it was just a random thing I started daydreaming about. Hope you enjoy tho.)

“You have to wear one"

“I’d rather take my chances with those wolf things outside.”

She rubbed her face. You were recently brought to Castle Dimitrescu to be a maid, the woman you were talking to was trying to teach you what to do.

“You have to wear it otherwise the ladies will turn you into wine.”

“Like blood as wine or blood mixed with wine?”

“Mixed with wine to my knowledge.”

“Hannibal Lector eat your heart out.”

She started laughing at my pun.

“I’m glad you caught that, I was proud of that one.” You smirked

“Yeah that was a good one.” She chuckled.

“But back on topic you need to wear that, I was being serious about the being turned into wine thing.”

You just shrugged. “Can I not just wear this.” You gestured to your current outfit, she just sighed.

“If you die its not my fault.”

“Ok.”

The woman, who you learned was named Angela, was showing you around and telling you what you’d be doing when your tour got interrupted.

You hear a woman clear her throat behind you, and when you turned around it was the 9 foot tall ruler of the castle.

“Ah! Lady Dimitrescu.” Angela bowed, pushing you to do the same.

“You" the lady said looking at you. “what is your name?”

“Y/n.”

She just looked at you before turning to Angela. “Why isn’t she wearing a uniform?”

You could see how nervous she was so you answered. “It’s not her fault. She tried to get me to wear it for like, 10, 15, minutes, but I refused to.”

The lady just stared at you, glaring slightly. “My office, now.”

Angela gave you a sympathetic look as you followed Lady Dimitrescu.

When you arrived at the lady’s office she told you to sit and she sat behind her desk.

“So why won’t you wear your uniform? I can only see it as a move of disrespect.” She asked you.

“No, it’s nothing to do with you at all.”

She raised an eyebrow before leaning back I’m her chair. “Than please, explain yourself. Quickly.”

Well either you tell her the truth and maybe die anyway or don’t and definitely die, you had the feeling she’d see right through any lie you tried to tell. “Welp, here we go" you thought.

“So basically, um-"

“Out with it.” She said clearly losing patience.

“I’m trans.”

You could practically hear the record scratch in her head. She sat forward again, arms on the desk.

“What?”

“Ya know, like transgender? Like I’m a trans guy?”

She thought for a moment. “So you didn’t want to wear a dress because it would cause you gender dysphoria, correct?”

Your eyebrows shot to your hairline. You, didn’t expect that.

“Uh y-yeah.”

She chuckled. “I may be old but I still know things.” She paused. “Hm, usually we wouldn’t allow a manthing to work here but we can make an exception here.”

“Wait really? Like you’re not gonna turn me into wine?”

She laughed. “No we're not. Here in house Dimitrescu we support lgbtq people, in fact at least half of those working here are lgbtq. Me and my daughters included.”

“Really?”

She nodded smiling. “Yes. I’m a lesbian, my daughter Daniela is pan, Cassandra is bi, and Bela, well she’s not sure exactly but she’s definitely not straight.”

You laughed. “Man us lgbtq folk really do gravitate to each other.”

She chuckled as well. “Yes it seems we do. I’ll contact Donna about getting a suit for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“How are you alive?!” Angela exclaimed.

#re8 x reader platonic #lady dimitrescu x ftm reader #platonic lady dimitrescu x reader #resident evil village #ftm reader #re8 fanfiction

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bronanlynch · 7 months

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experimenting with different ways of organizing this post. shout out to bullet point lists. anyway once again I watched more television than doing anything else

listening (podcast):

new Palisade: very fun as usual! I love the Blue Channel crew so much and I am constantly so worried for them

Great Gundam Project: still very fun to hear how little they know about what is to come. also they got to the episode where Char comes back with a bunch of cool underwater robots and 1) god I miss Char I wish I too were watching an arc of Gundam that has Char in it and 2) shout out to the Gogg & Z'Gok, two of my fave suits in all of Gundam

Media Club Plus: once again they have good thoughts about Hunter x Hunter, truly cannot wait to hear Jack's reaction to the Illumi reveal

listening (music): Dance Apocalyptic by Janelle Monae because I'm stealing songs from my old Beam Saber campaign playlist to make a Partizan/Palisade playlist and that's on both

reading:

Imperial Uncle: got to a twist about halfway through that I was fully not expecting but it was very fun, and the story in now drastically different than I thought it would be when I started but I am still enjoying it a lot

The Death I Gave Him: one of the most interesting questions to me in any Hamlet adaptation/retelling is what to do with Gertrude, what her role in the murder was, etc, and I'm enjoying the way this novel handles that. shout out to unethical science milfs

watching:

TGCF: regarding last week's episode, since we watched it after last week's wednedsaypost: on one hand, beef of beefleaf fame! my beloved! they looked extremely good! ("op they were chained up & disheveled" yeah exactly) on the other, the racism and also the transmisogyny. not that any of this was surprising because it's in the novel too, but it sure sucks to have racist caricatures and also to repeatedly treat the gender shifting & crossdressing as a joke and/or with disgust. regarding this week's episode: rip to Hua Cheng :/ sorry your crush burned your house down :/ I don't remember this arc super well because it was kinda overshadowed (for me) by having Ghost City and then the start of book 2 on either side of it, and as primarily a beefleaf & Mu Qing main I have priorities

Bakeoff: so the technical was a shitshow in a way that is 100% on the judges for not giving them enough time like. sorry that's what it means when every single person underbakes it. however. I literally laughed so hard I was in physical pain when everyone was presenting their horrible liquid puddings so who could say if it was bad or not

Hunter x Hunter: I do love where Killua's arc goes but I also really enjoy this early bit where he's just incredibly competent & terrifying and kicks everyone's ass without breaking a sweat. good for him, sorry about what led you to this point tho

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: other things happened in the episodes that I watched but I will be honest, most of it is wiped away by the preview for next episode showing me an incredibly major character death. um. aside from that. I do like the battle sequences, I love when a show is a couple of guys in a room going "I think this is the enemy's plan, here's what we're going to do about it" and then you see some different guys in a different room going "this is our plan, I hope this is how they react to it" and so on. also I like the narrator as kind of like. a historical accounting of the events, both because I like stories about the narrative construction of history and also because it means everything happens on very specific dates and I love having clear ideas of timelines

ZZ Gundam: finished ZZ! in general I enjoyed it (though I still prefer Zeta) and there are some really fun moments, especially with the Gundam Team, and I like Haman a lot as an antagonist. I didn't realize how close we were to the end until we had like 4 episodes left because the pacing is. kind of interesting. lot more "going to a place and fucking around for a while" than I expected, and sometimes it works better than other times. most of my ~critiques are things I already said last week (the misogyny, the ways in which the critiques of western military intervention in Africa & southwest Asia fall flat due to the white saviorism & none of it really getting a chance to be developed properly, etc) so I'm not gonna go into all that again, but I am going to just mention one of the wildest things which is that they refer to Dublin as "a city in what used to be Britain" which is. a loaded thing to say in 2023 let alone in the 1980s. lmao

I'm in Love with the Villainess: a fun yuri isekai about someone with a shitty job who gets transported into the world of her favorite otome game except instead of giving a shit about any of the male love interests she just wants to spend all her time with the female antagonist. it's very light and silly, and we're watching it as a short break before diving into more Gundam. I do love it when there are lesbians and little hints of class conflict simmering just under the surface

playing:

Ace Attorney 5: some mixed feelings about what I've gotten through this week. I love to see Edgeworth and I'm so compelled by Aura & Simon (individually and also as siblings), but I don't like how Trucy continues to be incredibly sidelined, and whenever they talk about the "dark age of the law" I kind of feel like. ok. look. it is just factually incorrect that it's only now that people cheat in court and only care about winning, and also the idea that overturning one (1) false conviction will fix the problems of the legal system is laughable. especially considering 1) everything about Von Karma 2) Edgeworth's entire backstory and 3) the fact that Phoenix spent the 7 year gap inventing a new legal system that everyone forgot about I guess. anyway. I do love Aura a lot though

Blades in the Dark: finally was able to run another session in my Blades campaign, in which the party. checks notes. performed a reverse bank heist. and also a normal bank heist. sometimes you have to break into a bank to leave something in a specific vault and you steal some other stuff along the way

making: finished building Miorine, so she is no longer a disembodied head and can now stand on the shelf with her wife. I'm not a huge fan of some the proportions/posing of the model, she has. like. woman in a comic book proportions that she doesn't have in the actual show (Imo the worst of it is her arched spine which you can't see here but I was surprised because Suletta has just. a normal spine)

drinking: Down East's cider donut-flavored cider because, once again, I love a seasonal fun little drink. this one's not as dry as the equivalent Citizens Cider I posted about a couple of weeks ago but Down East's stuff does tend to be a little sweeter in general. extremely good though, to be clear

writing: I added a section to my wip doc for my Nirvana in Fire exchange fic and copied over my giftee's prompts but I have not started on it and other than that I've done no writing. oops.

#on one hand talking abt the things i do in a week makes me feel more like a real person who does things #on the other hand it's real depressing to have to say i didn't write at all #u win some u lose some i guess #dreaming.txt #weekly media roundup post

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sasukimimochi · 1 year

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His eyes scanned the horizon, making sure he was on track to get home, but then his legs faltered as he saw something in the distance, between the many aspen and evergreens. A small splash of color amongst white and faded jade. He slipped, exclaiming as he tumbled down the slope, as shallow as it had been. The man groaned, and lifted himself slowly while dusting off the snow now stuck to him from the rolling.

“Are you…Alright?”

The man’s head shot up and met with another pair of eyes- like fields of ice, but soft. He’d never seen such eyes. “I…y…yeah, wait,” He shook his head and stood up, now noticing the ethereal man kneeling beside a frozen spring, thin, ivory digits stained pink from the cold and held calmly in his lap. This man…who was he? Why was he out here?

“Uh…What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.” The ethereal figure quietly looked back to the stream, eyes somehow…speaking a thousand words, but none that the other could recognize.

“Waiting…”

OK. I decided to bite the bullet and post this.

These are character designs for an original cultivation story (would be BL btw, i realize i forgot to write the genders on the sheets) and i was kind of nervous to post them for some reason so i've had them for a while now (as you can see at the end of 2022)

But i love the characters obv, and since i didn't draw today again due to trying to get some posts prepped for the future, i thought...what better time to share these than now?

um well, i hope you like the concepts? i don't really have a summary for the book yet. since its an original though i wanted to do a lot more research into cultivation before i began actually writing again (i have some bits and bobs but they need to be redone probably) uh, basically the premise is though that Wyn (chestnut hair) is disguised as a woman for an arranged marriage but then the husband he marries, when he lifts the veil, is very happy abt it and they end up having a happy life- for however long that lasts. something happens and he dies (he's already dead at the start of 1 this aint a spoil lol) and so we begin 50 years later where every day he waits at the spot his husband was supposed to meet him no matter the weather, and he meets a rogue cultivator who likes to go by Aspen. Ensue hijinks lol

Drawings that didn't make the cut [or you know, first scribbles/thoughts] are under the read more line.

honestly tho idk the rules of cultivation stories which is holding me back, i'm so interested in cultivation now but i have read 2 danmei and thats it rn

so i'm clearly lacking the needed experience sadlfhasdg-- anyway...

#im rly sleepy hope i didn't miss something again #original story #The Only One I Could Ever Love #TOOICEL #that is a mouthful of a title ik #cultivation #immortals #original #original character #ummmmnot a lot to tag since its original stuff #tbh i'm not good with chinese #at all #so these names could be translated wrong #Wyn is not a chinese name i know that part #uhhhh #well #thats it ig #dont tear me apart too much

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tw1stedthicket · 5 months

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fuck me man. after going back through some stuff and really thinking about it, im ngl, i feel pretty happy with just calling myself sapphic due to really only caring about being with women and wanting to define my relationships in that context and not in a context of including or centering men, and i wouldn't even mind if someone referred to me as lesbian even if it's not the word i would use, but that'a the thing! there's a word called "gay" and newsflash abby, that's what only wanting women is, even if you worm your way around not being called a "lesbian"; but! i am really afraid to own that. It's like, okay, i'm afraid of using the word "lesbian" due to what i'm afraid people might think, but if i tell people i like women and do what i wanna do.. they're gonna come to the same conclusion. I know this is internalized homophobia which makes me feel even more shameful, but it's me being honest.

What sparked this thinking was how i found a really cute bracelet of the "woman" symbol with the circle as a heart and it was linked to another one to represent 2 women connected and love for each other and stuff and i was like omg i wanna wear that that makes my heart go soft 🥹 but then i was like no because if i do that then i really have to own it! Theres no longer any way i can be like "well...yes....um....you see this only makes me happy because i also have an attraction to women...it's not that i really really love them haha... i am also attracted to everyone else too including men!" And so i was like well maybe i can do like a little rainbow! I can always say "i just like rainbows" right?

But then it's like ah goddamit people really are gonna assume then that im not bi! But i dont want people to think im bi and i dont know how that fucking works! The thing is, is i dont think to myself anymore than i am bi, even tho sure, there are lots of attractive and wonderful men. But i feel like my inclusion of them in my identity is me being disingenous, it's me including them because i know there is a real possibility that i would feel attraction toward a guy enough that i want to be with him but in reality if i felt that way about a guy, the thought that they might like me back makes me feel afraid, because somewhere in my fucked up thought process i am thinking that means im gonna be with him!! I like him, he likes me, we obviously get together right? But i dont want that! If i could honestly flip a switch where no guy ever liked me romantically again and instead just wanted to be good friends or besties and the strongest sense of attraction they felt to me was entirely platonic, i would flip it immediately! I wanna be their friends so much more! Please save me that anxiety. Is it anxiety from having to perform gender roles for them and in reality if i deconstructed those then i would see myself comfortably being with a man? Maybe?? I dont feel like fucking doing that work tho anyway because the attraction i feel toward men is, and im so sorry dudes, is like... not worth doing the mental lifting for for what it would take for me being with them. I'm sorry, women are literally right there instead. And i dont feel the same baggage for them, just genuine warm fuzzies. People tell me "oh women are just as complicated and human and capable of being bitches! It's hard work either way!" Okay but i have never wanted a man bad enough that i would stick with it like i would with an amazing woman i loved, and newsflash there are a million fucking more of them than there are men. *IN MY INTERPRETATION* again sorry dudes. Thats not even just saying like all dudes are bad people or something to have to do labor for, i just have to jump through hoops to find who i am to them, you know? I get out of myself in every romantic encounter/relationship ive had with guys. Again, is it because i was raised with fucked up experiences of what men and women are supposed to be like or do? I dont fucking know.

If i had to honestly and truthfully take a guess, my guess would be that i am capable of experiencing attraction and happiness with anybody, regardless of gender, given that the relationship is equal and based on a genuine love and respect for both people. In the sense that perhaps there are always exceptions to every rule because the world is so fucking big and there will always be humans out there that could make you question no matter how much you like a particular type of person, but also because maybe some of my attraction to men, as anxiety-producing as it tends to be, is more of an inner thing and actually could be be appropriately healed and manifested in genuine good feelings toward him and a desire to be with him i.e. true attraction. And maybe the reason i want to pursue romance and love and whatnot with women more is because it feels safer. And maybe part of that is because i am a woman myself. Is that wrong? Is it safer because it's more genuine? Hey, i think so in the most charitable part of my brain, but the comphet part of me says "women are always just emotionally connected and intuitive with each other ofc it's easier for them to have relationships with each other! the connection is just all women tho!" but that just serves to devalue the genuine attraction i feel for women that is romantic and sexual and all that :/ Like stfu brain, i dont think most women actually desire relationships with other women and life partners and stuff and labeling it as "just girls and their casual soulmate status with their best friend 🤪" pisses me off. But at the end of the fucking day i know what my choice is! Am i being biphobic? Thinking it's invalid and i need to choose? Well my mind feels like it's fucking chosen for me and i like women!

I hate this because then it makes me really sad like goddamn this really is me huh and i know how people fucking act and treat gay people or lesbian people and it makes me really fucking sad. I was just thinking to myself and it was like, yknow, i feel like i really am in a closet. And i have tried on an outfit that i think i would really like. And i put it on and have to close my eyes to do it because if i open them im gonna be too scared to really look at myself and go through with it. So then i put it on and it feels different, but it hugs my body in ways that feel comfortable even when i cant see it. And when i open my eyes and look in the mirror, it is startling but not surprising, and a little bit awe-some, and theres a moment of recognition that...In my private mind, this is how i see myself. What i am looking at on the outside is what i see on the inside. What i always wanted to be, at least. There's a "Finally" caught behind your breath but it feels not quite right to say that, because how could you have known? I never would have had i not let myself actually...explore. Actually recognize, i guess. But i cant exit the safety of my room, my closet, my dressing room, whatever it is. People would say im a freak, they'd be disgusted, at worst. People might forcibly rip at the clothes or force me to change. People might say theres nothing wrong with it but it's inappropriate to wear in public. People might even say "wow! That outfit really is you! But...i dont like this you." And a million things.

I'm so fucking new to this, i only recognized and realized attraction, and i mean genuine attraction, to women just a couple years ago even tho i had been privately questioning it for longer, but. Damn. It makes me really sad to think of the women that look at other women who like women and dont feel the same comraderie because they think im gross, or a predator, or something. It hurts to think of anyone thinking badly of me, but honestly its the other women that would see me differently that makes me sad. If men wanna be mad then fuck them but it makes me really sad to think that other women would not like me or distrust me.. :(

#sorry for long post #i am just very upsetti spaghetti #questioning #lgbt #lesbian #sapphic

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deeisace · 7 months

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Firstly I think you 100% are an Eddie. That suits you so well! Also like...okay so firstly im a cis woman and my knowledge of these things is limited and I hope by saying this I dont offended you. But like Eddie is also quite gender neutral. Like Alex cound be Alexander or Alexandra Eddie could be Edward or Edwina so I would imagine it could save you from any potential transphobic old farts who could misgender you, like they can't exactly be all Oh Derek is a BOYS name or something because Eddie is just Eddie you could be male or female. I mean you should be able to be whatever you want without some douche doing that anyway...but like if they did you're protected by the ambiguity of Eddie. I hope that makes sense? Again I mean no offense, I genuinely think that's a cool touch.

Aw thank you!

No offense taken at all, no worries

I mean, I will be putting Edward on paperwork - it's a good solid, no-mistakes name, and I like having my paternal-great-great-grandfather's name and my maternal-grandfather's surname, too, tbh, cs I'm a family history nerd, and it's nice to feel connected to them all in a way, cs I haven't always, tho that might be a bit odd to say

But I like Eddie best, too, y'know - it's more masculine side of gender neutral, you're right, I do sort of like the uhhhh the that about it - I wouldn't go for a stereotypical name as like Derek you say, cs it wouldn't fit me, either - I like having a name that's the masculine side of gender neutral, when I myself am the gender neutral side of masculine haha

And it is good from a safety point of view, like you say, that it's not um it could be short for something else, if someone was choosing to be a prick about things, I could pretend so

And, tbh, I like having a name that is masculine, it feels like it fits - because Dee is so,, not masculine, I feel like being called that would um would cause people to look at me more as a woman, y'know - tho, my dad is called D by his old mates, and that's short for Darren, which is a thought I've kept to keep me, when I was down about people always misgendering me - which is mostly the lack of T, but definitely exacerbated by the more feminine-sounding name, if you see?

I've lost my train of thought, thinking instead about how my grandfather was Edward/Ed, and his son was Edward/Sonny/Ted, and now I'll be Edward/Eddie - it's nice, it draws a line I've never had - I've always felt so,, disconnected from my family, in a way, because my life has been so so different to any one of theirs, ever, ever was, and there's no one I can point to, really, much, to go, 'you're like me'. It's a silly thought, but a strong one.

I mustn't be the only one in the world to have grown up like I did, I've met other people who grew up similar to me, but there's no one in my family that's really similar to me, at all, that I know of, quite literally going all the way back to the 1500s - no one who I know had the same experiences to me in any way shape or form you can name - it's part of why I like Liverpool so much, because I can look at a building, and say, my great-great-great-grandmother knew that when it was new, after she came down from Orkney - I don't have anything else, I don't have any connection to a place that still stands as I knew it or somewhere I can go and say this is home - the people are the home, but even then, I don't have much of that - my parents, my one grandad, who lives away in France now, my aunt and uncles, now, a cautious little bit - but even then, it's not the same, I am only really close with my mum, because it was always just us, together on our own - and visits to my dad, sometimes, and to my mum's family when she was allowed to see them, and the constant movement that comes with living in vehicles with someone who gets restless when a place starts to feel like home (between a week and 6 months, usually) - the only actual place I've had time to feel like home is the farm in Wales, and that was me, on my own, sat watching swallows and bats fly out the window of a room that no longer exists (and where I am now, where I've been for 5 and a half years, that I have to leave in two weeks)

So I'm glad mum lives in the same country as me, now, so I can visit when I like, and that dad's been sober a year, now, so you can actually hold a conversation with him, it's nice to keep hold of that

I look like my dad, I have his defensiveness - I think like my gran, I've got her autism - I've got my mum's lack of focus and liking of projects (ADHD!) and my grandad's love for music - anything else is picking stuff out of the ether really, so it's nice, if nothing else than the way I look (and the way I worry), to be able to say, in a tiny weeny little way, here, look, I might stand alone here, but it's still my forest, there's my name

Oh I've made myself cry again, dear me

It is a nice thing, tho, and thanks for being nice about it, I can definitely see where you're coming from

I didn't mean to go on a one and get like this, sorry

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blazingphantasm · 1 year

Text

Wait who’s Spix?

Hiya, uhh, that’d be me. An idiot obsessed with their little fandoms. I also make games, but uhh, those take forever. I also make music for those games, but uhh, I usually forget to upload those works in an easily accessible form. You probably don’t care a bit about me or my blog and that’s completely understandable! But I’ll spew some self promotion anyways:

YouTube, itch.io

My other less noteworthy accounts are easily linked to these, you’ll find ‘em no problem. It’s scary how easily these all connect isn’t it? Anyways… go along with your day!

Still here? ...really?

um ok those scary labels:

- transgender

- non-binary

- demi-girl

- panromantic

- homosexual

- gay

- lesbian

you can go harass me over this shit now

ok fine the fandoms im into (currently):

- im making a metroid fangame but i dont often post about the series

- shin megami tensei, has my favorite way of handling angels and demons in any media. also the best fucking jrpg series ive touched. (only touched 4 tho lol: smt as mentioned, final fantasy, dragon quest, and the obligatory pokemon)

- SPLATOON MY BELOVED IDOL SQUID KIDS

- SONIC THE HEDGEHOG LIVE AND LEARN FUCKERSSS

- UNDERTALE, AND OFC DELTARUNE TOO DUH

- MEGA MAN!!! but mostly x and zero series + archies take on classic. oh also the protomen but thats an aside (i dont like the classic games that much. im sorry ok. i played through 1, 2, 3, and 7 and like they were like ok.)

- oh how could i ever forget fnaf? well its here now. not as in it as i used to be but its coming back with a vengeance

- oh and who could forget… (mutuals you knew this one was coming…) HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK HOMESTUCK (fuschia blood, prospit sway, mage of heart if you were curious)

- i played through and finished portal 2 how did i not add that here before anyways i love wheatley

- bonus thing for tma fans, my friends assigned me as avatar of the web and it totally fits

um blorbos too why not (and some ranting for certain ones because favoritism):

- protoman (the archie comics… im literally crying), ZERO (he is literally my perfect character… other than the constant death fakeout thing yeah thats probably why i like the zero series’ story better than the x series’) [mega man]

- sonic (but like- but also… its complicated.), shadow (hes the coolest thing alive also a bunch of other stuff but uh ill save that for another time), silver, BLAZE (ok im literally a blaze kinnie <33 (and also “indirectly” named myself after her (i only use that name with friends, publicly im still spikira/spix) dont give your name to strangers on the internet yeah but also fuck it) also i ship sonaze i wonder why hmm. IWONDERWHY.) [sonic the hedgehog]

- kris (the gender envyyy THE GENDER ENVYYYY), frisk, chara, susie, undyne, mettaton, berdly (what do you mean he reminds me of a certain someone? no he doesnt he doesnt at all no thats such a weird claim to make it could never be true), jevil, spamton [undertale/deltarune]

- wheatley (he is such a moron i love him) [portal]

- june egbert (ngl my friend assigned me as her and like… you know what maybe i also do kin her kinda), dave strider (what no i dont have a crush on dave strider no i dont like him at all no thats absurd what accusations are you making stop that no), JADE HARLEY, jack noir b1, sollux captor, karkat vantas, nepeta leijon, kanaya maryam, terezi pyrope, VRISKA SERKET (i stan her vriska did everything and nothing wrong), roxy lalonde, dirk strider [homestuck]

- im still missing a bunch probably

…still want more? wow you must be obsessed with me or something… im flattered 😏

i mean you can have some more of my names i guess: other than blaze, i have dyne/megido but no one really uses those anyways… then theres void, which is the name i exclusively use to refer to my previous queer identity (what that was is none of your fucking business) it would’ve totally been the name i’d have gone by back then (instead of deadname) if not for “factors”

too bad thats all the info youll get on me! hah! (unless you wanna like scrounge my blog for iddy tidbits like a creep)

ok idk have this tag for stuff i maek

oh also i have a webcomic now i guess

@moss-quest

https://mspfa.com/?s=53723&p=1

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