#anyway this is what I think about late at night

[lymtw]

Toji invites you over with a simple text of:

You busy tonight, doll?

To which you respond:

I don't think so... Not that I know of. Why?

Toji laughs through his nose when he reads your message. Even the way you text him has your timidness imbued into it. It's precious.

Come spend the night at my place. You told me you're off tomorrow, right?

I am, but are you sure? Driving home is not a problem for me. I can hang out and go home after.

You're staying. I wanna try something with you and it requires you to stay the night. You can't go home.

Oh okay! I'll be there in 10.

Drive safe.

Toji likes that you're very precise about the time you'll be arriving somewhere, and if you're ever late when it comes to spending time with him, you apologize profusely, nonstop. You won't stop blubbering about why you're late and how sorry you are for making him wait, even after Toji's expressed that he's more than understanding. He's the king of showing up late to plans, so he can't be a hypocrite and scold you when you don't do it often at all.

You're so sorry, though, and you don't shut up about it until he makes you shut up with a kiss. You're helpless, and you can't for the life of you figure out where to put your hands when you're so focused on the grip he had on your waist to pull you up against him.

He releases your lips, cracking a grin at the look of wonder on your face. He can't deny the pride that swells in his chest at his ability to disarm you and prevent you from having a total meltdown over a three minute delay.

Toji has gotten so much better at handling situations like these with you. It's only fair for him to gain satisfaction out of making you feel better. After all, you are a first for him. You're emotionally fragile, you're a nervous wreck, and your voice competes with the wind just to be heard. Toji doesn't set aside the fact that you're also beautiful, warmhearted, and you try for him. He sees your attempts to be affectionate. You'll slowly reach your hand out to hold his and then bail the second he catches you. He ends up having to interlock his fingers with yours because your embarrassment doesn't allow you to try again. He still appreciates that you leave your comfort zone for him and allow him to guide you towards new experiences.

"Stop with the guilty feelings, ma. We have all night and all day tomorrow. What's a couple minutes to ensure you get to me in one piece?" He says, comforting your droopy self. You look like a sad, abandoned puppy, now sporting rosy cheeks from his surprising gesture.

"Okay," you say, feeling a little more at ease. "What did you have in mind for tonight?"

"Follow me," he says, leading you through his living room to his kitchen. He pulls out a stool for you and points at it. "Sit." You want to laugh at the way he says it like he's teaching commands to a dog, but you know he doesn't mean it that way, so you obediently sit down like one anyway.

"Have you eaten anything?" He asks, silently hoping you have because he doesn't have anything to make you dinner. He would have to order in or pick something up.

"I ate a couple hours ago. Still pretty full," you respond, watching him reach up for something in his cabinets. There's now a tall glass bottle with a red label and matching cap sitting on the counter.

"How 'bout it?" He says, a large hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle. "We could go to the couch and watch a movie or something."

He's never seen you under the influence of anything, but based on your reaction, maybe he'll get a show tonight. He's always wanted to know what you would be like if you were more extroverted and outspoken. There's nothing wrong with the way you are, but if things keep going the way they're going between you and Toji, he's bound to meet your chatty alter ego at some point in the future. What better way to have this experience than in a secure place with someone who can handle their alcohol and take care of you if it turns out that you can't.

"Okay, sure." You giggle, excitedly.

You're a lightweight. Even the fruitiest, sweetest alcoholic beverage will quickly take a toll on you while you're sipping on it. Wine is a step up, so you'll have to try your best to keep it together for the sake of not looking sloppy in front of Toji.

Toji brings down two glasses, and pours out the deep red liquid into them. One for you, one for him. He hands the glass to you, and nods at your quiet "thank you".

Toji watches as you immediately take a sip. He sees the way your nose scrunches at what you consider to be a funny taste, but the second you put the glass down, you smile like nothing. You don't like it at all. You hate the bitterness, and the fact that it's made with fermented grapes lives in the back of your head.

"How is it?" He asks, holding back a chuckle. You're too sweet for your own good, pretending to enjoy this for him.

"I like it," you say, pressing your lips together.

"Yeah? I think it's kinda gross. Guess I was expecting more from a fancy ass bottle, but brands are gonna brand, huh?"

You giggle, almost involuntarily. You're one gulp in, and already you're starting to feel the effects.

One of your worst habits includes chugging drinks that don't taste good, just so you can get them over with. You even do this when your drink is messed up at coffee shop. You're too nice to ask the barista to remake it, so you suck it up and drink the incorrect beverage solely for the caffeine you hope it has in it. This time is no different. You hate the taste of alcohol. You don't do plain shots, you can't stand hard ciders, and wine is no exception, but you're doing this for Toji. He cracked open the bottle to share with you, so you're going to drink every ounce of the liquid in the glass, whether you like the taste or not.

You bring the glass to your lips again, taking a much larger sip. The glass is a little less than halfway now, and your eyelids are starting to feel a little heavy. Not in a sleepy manner, but you can't seem to hold your eyes open as wide anymore.

You exhale through your nose, shut your eyes, and then blink them back open to take note of your altered state.

"That was a lot. How are you feeling?" Toji asks, noticing a shift in your demeanor. You seem a little more sluggish now. You turn your attention to him, your eyes rolling when they turn to meet his.

"I'm good, how are you?" You ask, like it was the start of a conversation rather than an ongoing one. Your eyes almost shut completely when you smile at him.

"You're tipsy already, aren't you?" He asks, with a grin on his face.

"Pshh, what? No, i'm not," you say, contradicting yourself with a giggle. "Answer the question, baby. How are you?"

"Fine," he responds, lingering on the pet name. You've got loose lips, now. In any other circumstance, you would address him by his name. Most of the time Toji is the one giving you pet names, for the sake of flustering you. He loves the way you look at him when he calls you doll or sweetheart, somewhat shocked every time the words leave his mouth.

"Yeah? That's good." You pick up the glass one more time, sighing before you mutter, "'scuse me. Gotta finish this."

With that last sip, the glass was now empty. Even Toji thinks you drank that too fast, but he still has the courtesy to ask you if you want more.

"Mhm, I'll have a little bit more. Just a tiny bit." Toji pours as much as he did the first time, chuckling when you nod in approval of the quantity. "That's perfect. Absolutely, perfect. You're a genius, my love." You flash him a smile before starting on the next glass.

Toji was considering having another glass, but that was before you called him "my love" in a tone so warm that he felt like he just had a bowl of hot soup that was now settling in his stomach. That was before you smiled at him in such a free spirited manner. It was too late for him to see you in this state while completely sober, but he sure as hell wouldn't be adding anymore alcohol to his system. He can't miss something like this, so instead he leans forward on the counter, and intently watches your every move.

"I got something on my face?" You ask, dragging your sleeves all over your face. You examine your sleeves and they're clean. "You liar. You're looking at me like that for nothing." You squint at him, a slight scrunch in your nose to define your defensiveness.

Toji laughs, his focus now on the small pinch in your brows. "Don't go picking fights over nothing. It's not a crime to look at my pretty baby."

Your faux tough exterior immediately crumbles, the irked expression on your face dropping to the ground, at the sugary words he uses on you. Your face feels very warm, and now there's an indefinite blush on it. You can't stop smiling at the look on Toji's face. He's so focused that he's gone speechless, and you eventually break into a laughing fit because of it.

"Hey... i'm usually the quiet one. Why aren't you talking, pretty boy? Need me to shut up?"

The pet name has Toji glancing at your glass, noticing that it was full for less than five minutes. This was new— you being flirtatious towards him. He didn't have any complaints about it whatsoever.

Once again, the quantity of the wine in your glass was below the halfway mark. "Nah, baby. Talk to me. You must really like the wine, huh?"

"Mmm..." you lean forward towards him, with your elbow on the counter and your chin in your palm. "What makes you say that?"

He actually snickers this time, earning a sly grin from you. "You're chugging it like it's water. It's either you love it or it tastes like ass and you're dying to spit it out."

You pick up the glass again, one last time. "Let's find out if I like it," you say as if you're not on your second serving. You let the liquid hit your tongue, and you are instantly repulsed by the flavor. The glass is tilted all the way up, signaling that you've finished two cups of wine in less than fifteen minutes. Your cheeks are filled with the drink, blown up like a puffer fish, which makes Toji smile softly with anticipation for your reaction. Your tongue stays on the roof of your mouth, keeping the wine in your cheeks separate, to give you a break for a few seconds. You release the bubbles of your cheeks and your mouth is flooded with the bittersweet liquid. You swallow the burgundy mouthful and smile with your lips pressed together once it's all gone. The mouth drying effect of wine is your least favorite thing about it.

"So?" Toji prompts.

"It's-" you gag, clasping a hand over your mouth with wide, slightly teary eyes.

Toji's chest and shoulders shake as he contains his laughter, his lips pressed together tightly to stifle the smile threatening to show itself, but his eyes tell you everything.

"Wooo, sorry about that," you say, chuckling through the embarrassment. "It's good," you repeat, still muffled by your palm.

"Yeah? Want more?" Toji asks, holding up the bottle with a teasing grin on his face.

You almost gag again but manage to control yourself. "No, thank you. Any more and I'll doze off, and we both know that's not what i'm here for." There was a hint of sultriness in your tone, something Toji was not sufficiently familiar with. It was a completely welcome shift from your normally tentative way of speaking to him.

"I know why you're here, but I wanna know what you think you're here for."

You stand from your stool and lean more of your body onto the counter. Your hand reaches for his, and for the first time, you don't pull back before making contact with his skin. "To love on you, of course," you say, with those pretty rosy cheeks. Your eyes remained glossy and your nose was still red from trying not to bring the wine back up earlier, but Toji thought you looked so cute.

"Is that right?" His thumb brushes over your knuckles, feeling the softness against his rough fingertip.

"Let's go watch that movie you were talking about and you'll see what I mean."

Toji was loving this. Your confidence, your lack of holding back anything you had to say, it was truly baffling how you could be someone else entirely with just a couple glasses of wine.

You keep his hand in yours, and as if it were your house, you say, "come on," and drag him along to the living room.

This time you say "sit" and point at the couch. This time he's the obedient dog and does as you say, sitting on the exact cushion you were pointing at with a smirk on his face. He moves the couch pillow aside to make room for you, but you had another seat in mind. You take two steps towards him before slowly dropping yourself into his lap, straddling him.

"I see you're finally taking your seat on the throne, hm?" He grins, resting his hands on your waist. This is the closest Toji's been allowed to watch you giggle without you burying your face into his neck and it's a trip. He can see the details of the creases around your eyes and the lift in your cheeks as you smile. He feels fuzzy, and he didn't even finish his glass of wine, so he knows it's not that.

"Stop making me laugh and pick a movie, will you? I'm here for that, too."

He picks up the remote for the TV and turns it on. "How are you gonna watch the movie while facing me?"

"Actually,.. can I tell you a secret, baby?" You ask, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your fingers play with the hair that reaches towards the nape of his neck, combing through it gently.

"What's that, princess?" Toji asks, vert eyes flitting between your eyes and that sweet smile of yours.

"I don't wanna watch a movie. I... wanna look at you... and that's it." Your nails gently scratch the back of his head, eliciting a tingly sensation that makes chills run down his spine.

"That's cool, too," Toji says, turning the TV off again, not caring that it was on for less than a minute before you changed your mind. He sighs, adjusting his position beneath you. Your thighs are secured around his hips, your knees touching the backrest of the couch.

"You're so handsome, my baby. God, look at those eyes," you whisper in awe, before giggling and bringing your hands to his face. You trace the bags under his eyes with your thumbs while admiring the haunting shade of green that scopes on you. Toji's hand comes up to loosely wrap around your wrist. He's not there to stop you, he just wants to move along with you as you observe his face.

"I know I don't say this to you enough, but I find you..." you sigh, blinking slowly, "enchanting..." You lean in and kiss the left corner of his lips—his right, and feel the smooth, tattered skin beneath your warm lips. "and I love you," you mumble into the cicatrix. "So fucking much, baby. And i'm sorry that you'll never know exactly how much because you aren't me." You're looking at him with so much adoration and touching him with a delicacy that can't be put into words. It's a deadly combination, one that has Toji in a chokehold and forces him to soften up even more for you.

He tightens the hold he has on your waist, pulling you closer until your stomach is pressed to his, as a result. You being so affectionate towards him is making him feel really good, and you have no idea because you're too focused on appreciating him. He's subconsciously leaning into your touch, his softened gaze meeting your lovestruck one.

"Fuck. I love you, too, princess," he murmurs, squeezing your wrist in his hand. He pulls your hand down to his chest. "Want you to aim for my lips, this time."

"Okay," you say, smiling before closing the distance between your lips and Toji's. He can still taste the remnants of the wine you inhaled minutes ago, but it tastes much better and a lot sweeter on you. Toji can hear your high pitched little hums as you kiss him, happiness pouring into your kisses. You're trying so hard not to laugh in his face, and trying is the best you can do, right now. You never were good at hiding your smile from Toji. He can't see it, but he can feel the way your lips widen, and he's occasionally kissing your teeth when your sluggishness keeps you from matching his pace. With little pants leaving you, you drag your lips away.

He sighs, frustrated by the loss of your softness against him. "Baby..." he groans, the sound almost whine-like to your ears. He wants more, so much more of you, and you're ignoring him. You're too busy kissing his chin, and his cheeks, and the tip of his nose.

You drag your other hand down to his chest and keep your hands splayed out on it as you let your lips trail his jaw, lightly sucking on the skin. Toji can't help but think about how this version of you will be gone in the morning. You won't be as outwardly affectionate, you'll go back to second guessing every move you make with him and shrinking every time he steals kisses from you, instead of confidently kissing him back like you did a minute ago.

You make your way down his neck, pressing kiss after kiss on him before you move towards his ear. "I love you, Toji," you whisper, kissing the shell of his ear after. "Love you, love you, love you soooo much," you barrage, before throwing him off with a bite to his earlobe. You giggle like a menace into his ear, the warmth of your breath luring goosebumps out onto his skin.

He chuckles, repeatedly squeezing the soft skin of your waist between his hands. "Yeah? Tell me again," he murmurs snaking his hands beneath the back of your shirt. Your skin is very warm, and there's nothing to blame but Toji and that shitty wine for making your body react this way.

With uninterrupted hands, you course your fingers through his hair and lean in to bite him again, this time on his neck. Toji chuckles at how you instantly rush to soothe him with your tongue and a warm kiss, even when you inflicted zero pain on him.

"I love you, Toji," you repeat into the wet indentations you left behind. "My love... my handsome man... I cherish you, you know?"

Toji is practically purring at all the affection you're showering him with. The slurring of your words is blocked out and they remain clear as day to him. He manages to hum a deep little "mhm" to your last statement.

"It's just so hard to talk to you sometimes. You... you're so intimidating, sometimes. I don't expect you to understand..." you divert your gaze to his shoulder, not able to look him in the eyes as vulnerability takes sudden control of your emotions. "It seems like I don't appreciate you sometimes—all the time, but I do, Toji. I do appreciate you, and I can't ever say I love you enough to show it. Words aren't always enough."

Toji catches the waver in your voice and his eyes dart to yours. You're tearing up, and you're trying to still your quivering lips by pressing them together.

"Shit," Toji mutters under his breath. You have the saddest expression he's ever seen and it's messing with his heart. He pulls his hands out of your shirt so that he can swiftly pull you into his warm embrace. "Hey," he coos. You're shaking against him, holding your breath to avoid sobbing. Your lungs burn, but you'd rather feel that than make a scene of your tears. "Don't be sad, mama. What's with the tears, hm?" he murmurs. He can feel your tears dampening his shoulder, but the fact that you haven't made a sound is concerning. "Breathe or you'll die," he says, only half joking. He rubs a soothing palm against your back, his other arm around your waist.

You let out what sounds like a mixture between a choked laugh and a sob, slowly but surely regulating your breathing. You don't even feel like saying anything anymore because you know your voice will give way to even more pity.

"You're more than enough for me," Toji says, his chin resting on your head. "I know how you feel, you know how I feel. We're complete." He can feel the way you scrunch his shirt up into your fists. As if he would go anywhere without you. "I get you and you're stuck with me. Got it?" You silently nod against his shoulder in response. "Sit up and let me look at you."

You really don't want him to see you this way. Your eyes feel swollen and you don't feel presentable.

"I can't..." you say, barely audible. You release his shirt and let your hands go limp behind him.

"Why not?"

"I'm not pretty right now. Don't look at me."

"I'm gonna look at you," he challenges with a teasing grin.

"Toji, don't look at me."

"Too late, it's happening. Plan's already in motion," he says, sliding his arms onto your shoulders.

"Toji, don't-" He effortlessly pushes you off his shoulder and gives you a once over. You look defeated and you're unable to look him in the eyes, but at least he can see you now.

"Don't know what you were so worried about. You look the same but more blush-y." You finally give him your slightly reddened eyes, a soft smile appearing on your face. You look like your sober self. "Yeah, you look the same."

"Are you lying?" You ask, still not regaining the full strength of your voice yet.

"I wouldn't tell you if I was, but no, i'm not lying. You're so pretty." Toji wiped away tears that were stuck beneath your eyes, and you giggled. He washed away your sadness within a couple minutes. Toji always did this for you in exchange for your love and affection. He lifted your spirits when you didn't feel deserving of him, and with time, he got much better at recognizing the signs that came with this ridiculous idea you planted in your head.

"You're done loving on me? Already?" He asks in playful disbelief.

"You're not done with me? Do you actually want more?" You ask, hesitantly.

"Don't want more, I need more," he corrects, returning his hands to their rightful place on your waist. "Get all up on me, princess."

You giggle, leaning closer towards him to peck a kiss onto his cheek.

"Mhm, like that," he says, contently, when you pick up the pace and start smothering him. "Yeah, baby, there you go." His forearms go beneath your shirt, encircling around your bare waist and pulling you close to him like before. "Who's getting spoiled like me?" He says through a grin. You're holding back laughs as he continues to praise you for your affection.

"S-Stop," you say through a wheeze, not able to contain the sound any longer when you looked at him.

"What are you laughing at, huh?" He chases you this time, pressing his nose into your cheek before planting a light kiss into your jaw.

"You're so unserious," you say, turning your head as he keeps going with the kisses.

"Mmm... I'm serious about you," he says, feeling the vibration of your laughter against his grin. "So serious."

Your cheeks feel incredibly hot from how much you've been smiling. In this little drunken haze, things are so good. You're so happy, you're so affectionate, and you talk so much. This isn't like you at all, but it's not hurting anyone, especially not Toji. There was one minor slip, but you moved past it so quickly like the words never left your head to begin with. You're just so simple... so easy to take care of.

Toji notices the way your eyes are starting to lid with tiredness, and while he would love for you to doze off in his arms right then and there, you'd probably prefer waking up in a bed.

"Let's go to bed, yeah?" He suggests.

"What? No! I just got here... We can still talk, and kiss and- I'm not even tired."

Toji grins at the way you fight him on this, and he has half a mind to indulge you when you look so adorable, but he has to stand his ground. He's right.

"But, you are. You can't even hold your eyes open, anymore."

You feel sad again because the rest of the night would be going to waste if you both go to sleep early. You're there to spend time with Toji, and yet you feel like it's your fault your time is being cut short. You're thinking you shouldn't have drank the wine so quickly, if at all.

"Listen, doll," Toji says. He doesn't like the sadness that resurfaces on your pretty face. He doesn't think you should look that way because of him. "We're just gonna go lay in bed. We don't have to go to sleep. We can stay up as long as you want. Light on or light off, whatever you wanna do, let's just move it to the room."

You sigh, still not completely convinced that the night isn't over, but Toji managed to persuade you. "Will you carry me, please? My legs feel like jelly."

"Of course. What kind of person would I be if I let you stumble into the room on your own?"

You sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, your face buried into the crook of his neck. "You'd still be my favorite person, but i'd be a little upset..."

Toji stands from the couch, humming in response to your quiet mumbles.

"...but not really upset. Just a little bummed. Not for too long, though, 'cause I love you, but I would expect an apology from you if I fell down," you draw out.

Toji cracks at your little ramblings. It's a ten second walk from the couch to the bedroom, and the whole time you were working through a hypothetical conflict.

"Yeah? You'd want me to say sorry?" He asks, setting you down on the bed.

"Mhm, and then I wouldn't be upset or bummed anymore," you mutter to yourself as you roll onto your back.

"That's fair. Want the light on or off?"

"Off," you blurt. "Let's tell scary stories," you trill, enthusiastically. You pull the blanket over your lower body until it reaches just below your chest.

Toji makes his way to the bed after turning off the light. He takes his shirt off, and out of habit lets it fall to the floor. "We're not telling scary stories this late at night," he says, joining you beneath the blanket.

"But, they're funny," you say, turning to face him. "I don't get scared, either."

"Depends on who's telling the story. I'm sure as hell not gonna feed you a nightmare, doll."

"Boo," you say, lowly. "Whatever, i'm over it already," you mutter, rolling your eyes.

Toji watches you grow more and more tired as you throw random, nonsensical topics at him. You're taking longer to respond by the minute, and you're dozing off while humming in thought. You shake awake each time it happens and try to keep the conversation going, but Toji just shushes you and tells you to go back to sleep.

"I can see the moon through the window," you mumble, looking past him.

"I know, shh..." he hushes you, again.

"There's only like... one star," you whisper, in awe.

"Baby, come here," Toji says, like he's about to lecture you about the rules of sleep, but really he's just thinking that if his body heat doesn't put you down, he's gonna have to stay up with you until you fall asleep on your own.

You scoot closer towards Toji, tucking your arms into your chest when he reaches out to pull you into him the rest of the way. His body exudes so much warmth, you feel like you don't need the blanket at all.

There was nothing left for you to say when you couldn't see or feel anything but him. It was as if you were gone the second he enveloped you in his arms. You were small to the brink of nonexistence, no longer there to tell him what your surroundings were, or to ask him thoughtless, silly questions. You were no longer there to fight off the sleep he only seemed to bring closer towards you. Feeling his warm skin against you made you change your mind about this invisible fiend that was pulling your eyelids down. You now welcomed the calls to rest from your steady heartbeats.

Your silence gave him the answer he needed, but for good measure, he poked at you with a whisper of, "Ma?" and waited a few seconds for your response. Nothing. He sighed and coiled around you tighter. Thoughts of the night ran through his head. Your soft, yet, occasionally bruising kisses and the imprints of your teeth on his skin, your unapologetic laughter, your certainty in using the pet names that claimed him as yours. He was weak for the amount of times you openly told him you loved him. It was a psychedelic dream, to say the least. One he hoped would continue once he followed you into slumber.

You woke up hours later, completely smothered by your bear of a man. All you could do was stare up at the ceiling, while you waited for Toji to wake up because he was literally breathing down your neck. His arm rested over your chest, his legs were tangled with yours, and his face was right beside your face. You weren't feeling the effects of the wine anymore, and luckily, you didn't have a headache or any signs of a hangover. You were back, which meant...

"What are you staring at?" A deep, raspy voice jolts you out of your thoughts.

You look at the handsome face next to you, and as if your heart can hear and see, it wakes up. "Nothing. Just woke up," you lie.

"Mm... you were staring hard at the roof. I thought it came to life or something," Toji chuckles. You smile, briefly, before looking at the ceiling again.

Toji releases you and flips onto his back, wanting to know what's so fascinating about the space you're looking at. "What are you thinking?" He asks, when he discovers nothing but blank space.

You take your time, not wanting to stumble over your words. Your heart skips a beat when he turns his head to look at you. In the time it takes for you to respond, you both could have gone back to sleep again.

"A penny for your thoughts?" he finally says, following the idiom with a question. "Did I even use that correctly?"

You can't help but laugh, nodding your head to answer his question. "I'm thinking about last night. Sorry if I said anything stupid."

Toji turns his body towards you again, thinking the only thing that's stupid is that he's still staring at the roof instead of staring at you. "You didn't. You were calm, from what I got to see, at least."

"So... boring."

"Not boring," he instantly catches. "You were perfect. You didn't have me running around chasing you, you weren't a brat—it couldn't have gone better, ma." He purposely missed something in his less than brief recount of the night to you. He can think back to the emotions that seeped through your little daze, and your insecurity about outwardly showing him love, all he wants, but there's no way in hell he's bringing that up to you, now. "You ramble a lot," he adds, a soft smile emerging on his face.

You can feel your cheeks warming up. "Oh god," you groan in embarrassment. "That's not- Sorry, that sounds... not so fun. Annoying of me, actually."

"Stop, it was cute," he assures, adding more fury to the blush creeping on your face. "Then you wouldn't go to sleep 'cause you kept seeing stuff outside the window."

You wanted to drown yourself in the blanket. Shame and embarrassment were winning their battle against you, as always.

"That was also cute," he says, watching the way your lips twitch as you bite back a smile. "You know my favorite part, though?" He says, grinning as he leans towards your ear.

"N-No, what?" You ask, trying so hard not to giggle.

"When you kissed me and told me you loved me," he murmurs into your ear like it's a dirty secret.

You snicker, the short sound of amusement evolving into laughter within seconds. You throw the blanket over your face and partially over Toji's face. The sight of your veiled body shaking with laughter lured out a couple chuckles of his own.

"That's funny?" He asks, pulling the blanket down, allowing you to see the sly grin he's sporting.

"A little bit," you respond, smiling— a remainder of your laughter.

"Silly girl. Come here," he says, dragging you back into his arms. There's no reason you should be awake at six in the morning on your day off. "Let's go back to sleep," he murmurs into the crown of your head. "We can go out for breakfast, later."

"Okay," you mumble, eyes shut already as you embrace the natural warmth of his body.

"One more thing," he murmurs. You don't raise your gaze, but your ears are open and you're listening closely. "Tell me you love me."

You didn't expect that, but you weren't going to deny him of such a simple thing. The words were easy to recite because you meant them with every fiber of your being. "I love you, Toji," you comply, immediately.

He sighs, contently, almost like hearing those words revitalized him. "Love you, too, mama."

That went out to every version of you.

#toji #toji x you #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fluff #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji x y/n #jujutsu toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fic #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fic #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #fanfic #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x y/n #jjk fanfic #jjk toji #toji fushiguro x you #dilf toji #jjk toji x reader #jjk fushiguro

[barcaatthemoon]

Could you do one for Lia with this prompt please.

“I could have anyone I want yet… Yet you fucking exist.” 

reputation || lia walti x reader ||

it was easier to be a player than let yourself fall in love again. that was what you had been telling yourself for years, and for a while, it had worked. you went from club to club on loans and transfers. at each club, you had several flings, to the point of earning yourself a startling reputation.

everybody always knew who you were before you got to any new clubs. there was a good chance that no matter where you went, you had an ex or a friend of an ex on the team. it was pure luck that you managed to find a team willing to overlook the things that people said about you. especially one as big as arsenal.

it was your first long-term contract in over seven years. each season brought on a new club, occasionally two. arsenal was very clear about keeping you on their team. you were a talented player, and they wouldn't let rumors ruin the absurd amount of money they had paid for you. it was more than what you had made anywhere else, all for the promise that you'd behave yourself.

"is it true?" katie mccabe asked as she dropped down into the seat next to you at lunch. the two of you knew each other from briefly playing with each other in scotland. you liked her, especially the way that she played things aggressively. it was hell when you were opposite to each other, but you respected it anyway. "did you really, um, get around like that in perth?"

"come on mccabe, aren't you above the rumor mill?" katie shied away a bit, but not completely. you knew that she easily could have asked around. a lot of the girls you had slept with in australia knew caitlin and steph. there had been a brief thing with caitlin whenever the two of you had been on the same team before she came to arsenal.

"come on, nobody else is saying anything. this just isn't what i expected when you joined." katie tried not to let her disappointment show through, but it did.

"well, maybe she's changed," lia piped in. you hadn't even noticed her approach the two of you. she was always around whenever one of the girls tried to probe you about your past relations and interactions with other players. it was obvious with a few girls who you had slept with, especially in the wsl.

"lia, i'm not saying (y/n) isn't different now. i just want to know if she really got around as much as they say," katie said. at this, lia slapped the irishwoman on the back of her head. you stifled a laugh as katie finally left the two of you alone.

"they aren't this bad with other people, i swear," lia promised you. you knew that, most people weren't. you seemed to bring it out in most people, but lia had never asked you about your past. that was one of the reasons that you had fallen for her, even though you swore that you would never fall in love again.

"it's fine. you get used to it after a while. i think that you're different though, which is nice. thank you for that," you told her. lia blushed as she grabbed onto your hand. outside of work, the two of you had been spending a lot of time together. lia lived pretty close to your apartment, so you had a good excuse to always hang out. lately, things had been shifting a bit from friendly to romantic. it wasn't much, just small gestures, but it was enough for you.

"sometimes i do wonder why you haven't found a girl yet. i mean, you could have anybody you wanted if you tried," lia said. she had heard several of the girls talk about hooking up with you. not to mention the night she spent comforting leah whenever you rejected your captain's offer for dinner and drinks.

"i could have anyone i want, yet..." you trailed off as you pulled lia in close enough to whisper, "yet you fucking exist. i don't want to even think about anybody other than you. it's put a damper on my reputation, i think mccabe was disappointed."

"let her be, i like it when you're not just acting how everybody else wants you to. screw your reputation," lia said. she pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. there was a smile when she pulled back, but that was nothing compared to the look in her eyes. it should have made you want to run away, but you couldn't run from lia.

#answered #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso blurbs #lia walti x reader #lia walti imagine

[wososcripts]

Face to Face (Part 1)

Fridolina Rolfö x reader

Summary: After months of a toxic back and forth with Frido, things reach a breaking point.

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I know it's been forever but that's what being a full time uni student will do! I hope you all enjoy this fic as much as I do, its been a wip for a while now!

As usual this is all fiction and in good fun! Nothing is meant to represent reality. All italicized dialogue is in a language other than English, and I promise... things will get better in this fic eventually.

Warnings⚠️: unhealthy situationship lol, injury, light medical description

"Get out!" You screamed, repeating it over and over until you were alone in your bedroom.

You hated yelling. Absolutely hated it. You couldn't remember the last time before today that you had actually yelled in someone's face. Plenty of people in your sport lost their tempers and shouted on the pitch—whether at a ref or another player—but it wasn’t your style. You always managed to keep your cool. It was your sport, yes, but not your life.

You'd been yelled at too much as a child to think it had any productive effect on a situation, which may have been part of why you immediately felt horrible once Fridolina left the room. You pulled your comforter around your half-naked form, wishing you were less exposed.

This was the end. Whatever you and Fridolina had, it was over. Finally.

You'd been trying to build up the will to make this happen for weeks, and yet your heart felt like it was being strangled with every moment you sat here alone. The worst part was, you knew Fridolina didn't care. She was probably angry, sure, but she was not feeling the heartbreak you were.

You weren't sure how you were going to make it through the next few days. You had to fly to Germany tomorrow for national camp—and then on Friday you were playing Sweden in a friendly. It was hard to imagine that you had been excited to get the news about the friendly last month. It meant you got to be around Frido more, got to see a few of your old teammates from Chelsea like Magda and Zećira, and you genuinely enjoyed being around the German girls. It was still home to you, there, even if you hadn't played for a German league in nearly a decade.

Now you just wanted to stay in Barcelona while Frido left. You wanted to call Alexia, or Patri, and ask them to come over and comfort you. You wanted Patri’s jokes and Alexia’s solid presence, but you were afraid of the questions they might ask. Your eyes were red now, tears running down your face, and your room was a mess. Everything had a trace of Frido, and you hated it.

Ingrid and Mapí, who you would usually call if you wanted to get your mind off of things, weren’t an option either. Though you were fairly certain they wouldn’t ask any pressing questions, Ingrid was Frido’s best friend. And that made her off limits for now, for anything regarding this.

You just had to make it through the night, and the next morning. Then you could collapse into the familiar arms of your national teammates, your family, your language, and try to forget all about this.

—

Your mother knew something was off the second you appeared on her doorstep, Laura in tow.

She wrapped her arms firmly around you, holding you tight for a minute. It had been three months since you were home for Christmas, and you hadn’t seen each other since then. You melted into her, wanting nothing more than the comfort of her protective embrace after all that had been swimming around your head lately.

Your mother greeted Laura next, and you were instructed to bring your bags up to the guest room. You’d have to share, but it wasn’t all that big of an issue. You and Laura often shared rooms when you were at national camp anyway, so this wouldn’t be much different.

“Wie ist Barcelona? Gefällt es? ” Laura asked you quietly that night, rolling over in the bed to face you.

It was late, too late to still be up. Tomorrow you’d have to be at training bright and early.

“I love it there.”

Something about your voice must have been off, because Laura stayed silent. You knew she fretted over you. She was protective too, something you experienced first hand when people were rough with you on the field—Laura hated most of your exes too. You’d known each other since secondary school, when you were barely tall enough to reach the top of your lockers.

“I’ve always wondered if it’s difficult, fitting in with the Spanish girls…”

“And I’m shy, which doesn’t make it easier.”

Laura laughed lightly.

“Well I wasn’t going to say anything!”

You poked her side playfully, and smiled.

“They’re all very welcoming. It can be intimidating when you don’t speak Spanish at first, but I’m pretty good now so I don’t have many issues.”

Laura began playing with strands of your long hair, putting it in small braids.

“What is it, Lau?”

“I can tell something is bothering you. In your texts, the way you looked when I picked you up at the airport, something is off.”

You weren't sure what to say. Laura didn't know anything about you and Frido. Nobody did. You'd have to explain the whole thing, start to finish. You'd have to explain why you stayed even when she treated you like garbage. Why you made excuses for her, compromised things you told yourself you wouldn't.

"It's hard to explain…" you mumbled.

Laura continued to play with your hair, pushing a few wisps back from your forehead.

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

You needed an ally in this, you realized. Desperately.

"Just be prepared, it's kind of a long story."

And so you launched into how you and Frido had been attracted to each other immediately when she was playing at Bayern and you were at Frankfurt. How you had danced around each other when you were signed in Barcelona. How she kissed you one day after a game, before she was even out of her relationship, and then ignored you for weeks—a pattern you didn't realize was going to dominate your life for the next year.

By the end you were crying. You hadn't cried in so long it felt foreign. Everything had been building up for months and nobody had been there to help you carry the weight of it until that moment.

Laura pulled you into her arms, rubbing your back in soothing circles as you sobbed into her neck.

"It's okay, you're okay," she whispered.

"I feel like a fucking idiot."

"She's the idiot for treating you like that, not you. Not you at all." Laura looked at you sternly. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that all by yourself…"

You snuggled closer to her and kept quiet.

"If you need someone to accidentally slide tackle her on Monday let me know…" Laura teased.

You giggled into her hair, and she couldn't help but smile in return.

-

You were nervous. Typically friendlies didn't worry you much, but you didn't want to see Fridolina. You had been playing well in training sessions, but your teammates could tell something was on your mind.

"Hey—" Sara's voice broke you out of your thoughts. The two of you had played together at Frankfurt for a little while, and she was like an older sister to you. She placed both her hands on your cheeks and pressed her forehead to yours. "Whatever it is, put it out of your mind. Leave it here and just play. Just for a few hours."

You closed your eyes and listened to her, letting her voice ground you. You squeezed her hands and nodded. Just a few hours. Then you could avoid Frido for an entire week before you had to fly back to Barcelona.

You assumed your position on the pitch, the roar of the German fans filling your ears. That was the benefit of playing at home. You spotted a few of the Swedish girls you knew: Magda, Zećira, Stina, and Rebecca. All of whom gave you small smiles.

In the few seconds before the match began you closed your eyes, counting down from seven as you always did before a match. Then the whistle blew and you began.

It was a tough match between the two teams. Where the Germans were weak the Swedish girls pounced, and vice versa. You were constantly fighting for the ball, the defenders packed onto you. Stina was the first to score, slipping the ball into the box amidst a chaotic mess just the way she was good at.

From there on out you were determined to score. You were playing all out, more than necessary really. It was a throwaway game, but you just had to get a point on the board.

When your quick pass to Lena had the ball soaring into the back of the net you thought you might explode from joy. You jumped into her arms, letting her twirl you around, laughing. In your head you might as well have won the Olympics.

At halftime it was still 1-1. Your heart was pounding. Laura made you drink some of your water, massaging your shoulders in an effort to get you to calm down. Popp was side eyeing you, considering pulling you out. This behavior wasn't like you.

The second half was considerably more intense than the first. Both teams wanted to score, and the more physical players on both sides were pushing hard. It was a miracle nobody had been carded.

And then suddenly you had the ball at your feet. There was a golden opportunity in front of you. Eyes facing forward, you raced down the pitch, completely blindsided to the weight that slammed into from the side. Suddenly the world went sideways and you were slamming into the ground, not enough time to even think about trying to catch yourself. Your hip and shoulder took most of the initial impact, but something about how you'd been standing, or how you'd been hit, meant your head followed, hitting the ground with a resounding thud.

You came to a few seconds later. Someone was kneeling next to your head, and their hands were on your cheeks.

Fuck. Everything hurt. You kept your eyes closed, thinking maybe that would lessen the next wave of pain you knew was coming. At first you weren't sure what had happened.

"Are you okay?" You heard Zećira's voice in your ear.

"Zećira?" You mumbled. "What happened?"

"You went down and hit your head."

You had gone down near the goal, that was right. Things were a bit blurry. You figured it was a bad idea to move your neck, what with the severe headache you could feel blossoming, and opening your eyes seemed to run the 50/50 chance of you vomiting.

"Do you remember that now? Do you feel okay?"

So you gave her a weak thumbs up, hoping it was clear you needed the medics.

After a moment in which you gathered your resolve and swallowed your nausea, you opened your eyes. There was Zećira looking worriedly down at you. She glanced upwards, probably at the medical team that was surely coming.

"Fuck, fuck…" you heard another voice, those of your German teammates beginning to filter into your awareness. And further away, the sharp sound of yelling.

The medical team finally arrived, clearing the space around you. Your hand shot out, grabbing onto Zećira's you gave her a look that said it all. Fear and panic met in equal amounts as she squeezed your hand lightly.

"You're gonna be okay, älskling, everything is gonna be alright." If anything, her tone scared you even more. You knew Zećira, and she wasn't someone you would describe as warm and cuddly. For her to be using that tone with you meant something had gone wrong.

"Okay, we're gonna sit you up now." The medic warned you, and you felt two pairs of hands rest on your body, one on the back of your neck, slowly pull you upright.

Your nausea came back in full swing, and you fought to keep your breakfast in.

"Can you hear me?" You nodded.

"Can you understand what I'm saying?" You nodded again, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

"Can you squeeze my hand?" You squeezed his hand tightly.

"Okay, I'm gonna shine this light in your eyes for a moment, can you try and follow it for me?" You did your best, but it wasn't easy.

"Okay," he put the light away and you thanked whatever God in the universe for that. "We think it's likely you have a pretty bad concussion. We'll have to run a few more tests to be sure, but she definitely has to come off."

He must've been talking to your coach at that point, because the next thing you knew Zećira and the medic were helping you up to your feet, the man supporting you heavily with your arms draped across his shoulders.

"I'll visit you after the match, okay?" You heard Zećira assure you, to which you gave another thumbs up.

You cringed slightly at the sound of the crowd cheering you off.

#woso x reader #woso community #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso #fridolina rolfö #fridolina rolfo x reader #fridolina rolfö x reader #barca femini x reader #my writing #fc barcelona x reader

[meazalykov]

soft spot (2)

esmee brugts x reader

part two (part one here)

the emotional reader finds happiness again

The first season at Barcelona went fast for Y/n. After joining Barcelona Femení, she gradually found her rhythm, both on the pitch and off. Her initial nervousness about fitting in faded as she formed strong bonds with her new teammates, none stronger than the one she developed with Esmee. 

Despite their clash during the World Cup, and after Y/n’s apology, they became close friends, their connection deepening with each passing month. A few examples were when Y/n scored in her debut against Madrid CFF in September, Esmee was the first to congratulate her as it was a goal in extra time. When Esmee scored her hat-trick against Eibar, Y/n was the first by her side congratulating her. 

The girls hung out all of the time outside of the pitch. Their personalities clicked together like a smooth puzzle. Esmee was shy, more reserved, and relaxed. Y/n was extroverted, yet kind and creative. There wasn’t a weekend (unless there were international breaks) where the duo wasn’t together. Other Barcelona girls took note of this. 

“Y/n, what are you doing this weekend?” Ona said. Y/n turned around at the voice and saw Ona, Salma, and Vicky approaching her. The American smiled at her friends, she had a few plans but she knew she could fit the three Spanish girls into her calendar. 

“Nothing too much. What's going on?” Y/n asked. Salma put her arm around her shoulders, Vicky doing the same, as Ona started speaking– 

“We were thinking about going to the Men’s game against Napoli on Tuesday. Its their second-leg game.” Ona said. Y/n’s eyes widened as she remembered that Esmee and her already had plans to go to that game together. She thought that Ona, Salma, and Vicky were going to ask about something else. 

 “Oh yeahhh– sorry Esmee and I already had plans to go together. You can all join us—I’m sure she won’t mind.” Y/n sighed. Salma and Ona smirked to each other as Vicky patted on Y/n’s back. 

“Y/n—- do you have a crushhhh?” Vicky teases Y/n. The other Spanish girls giggle as Y/n blushed at the question. 

“Noooo I dooo nottt” Y/n dragged out her response in the same teasing tone Vicky did. 

“You’re lying!” Salma’s jaw dropped as the other girls started to laugh even harder, y/n laughing too. 

“Stop it!! You guys can join us on Tuesday, it'll be fun!” Y/n offered, feeling bad that she couldn’t fulfill Ona's plan. 

“No thank you, I don’t want to interrupt your guy’s date!” Ona smirked. All of the girls laughed as Y/n blushed, not denying that it was a date in her mind. 

As the months passed by, Y/n had a high level of anxiety when she realized she was falling in love with Esmee. 

Memories of Jane's betrayal last summer haunted her. She moved on and doesn’t love Jane the same anymore, with the help of her sport’s therapist, but betrayal doesn’t leave the mind of most people. Y/n was terrified of making herself vulnerable again. 

However, she reached out to Ingrid, Mapi, and Ona for help. The three women gave constant reassurances and helped soothe Y/n’s fears. They all spoke highly of Esmee's character, assuring Y/n that she would never treat her the way Jane had. 

Y/n and Esmee spent most of their days together, sharing late-night talks, laughing over shared inside jokes, and supporting each other through the highs and lows of their games. Y/n's heart raced whenever Esmee was near, and she often found herself lost in Esmee's eyes, the fear of vulnerability slowly replaced by a blossoming hope. She hoped that Esmee felt the same love for her.

Now, the Champions League final against Lyon is here in Bilbao. The entire team was abuzz with excitement and nerves, and Y/n felt a mix of both as she took her place on the bench. The girl knew she wouldn’t start, but she assumed that she would have the opportunity to play today since Jona is the coach who wants to give his players minutes. Anyways, Y/n watched the game intently as the minutes passed. Barcelona and Lyon were locked in a fierce battle, and the stakes couldn't be higher.

When Aitana opened up the score, Y/n jumped up and sprinted towards the shorter woman. The entire bench followed her as the ballon d’or winner jumped and celebrated with them.

Later in the 71st minute, Jona called Y/n's name, signaling for her to sub in for Salma. With her heart pounding, Y/n stepped onto the pitch, the weight of the moment pressing down on her. It was her first Champions League campaign, everyone knew that and their eyes were now on her, and the significance of the final wasn't lost on her. 

She drew on the encouragement from her teammates, particularly Esmee, whose support had been a constant source of strength for her this season. Being the first sub in this final drew attention, she needed to contribute to an inevitable win for Barcelona.

Even though Barcelona was up by one, the tension was palpable. Danielle Van makes a mistake which leads to Caroline Graham Hansen making a brilliant run up the right side. Y/n fast feet sprinted to meet her up the pitch, her eyes fixed on the ball. As Caroline approached the box, dodging Bacha’s attempt to block her, she executed a perfect left side pass, sending the ball directly into Y/n's path. 

Without hesitation, Y/n took the shot with one-touch, her foot striking the ball cleanly. The Lyon defenders weren’t fast enough to stop it, since Y/n knew that more touches on the ball would lose her that opportunity. The ball soared into the right-top corner of the net, past the outstretched hands of the Lyon goalkeeper.

The crowd erupted in a deafening roar. Y/n, overwhelmed with joy and disbelief, spread her arms and ran in celebration. The cameras captured her glistening eyes as she ran to the corner closest to the benches.

Her Barcelona teammates on the bench stormed the field, knowing they’re up 2-0 with twenty minutes of the game left. All of the girls and coaches surrounded Y/n in a warm (yet loud) embrace.

Esmee was the first to reach her, wrapping Y/n in a tight hug, her head nestled into Y/n's neck.

"I'm so proud of you, Mijn liefje" (My darling) Esmee whispered, her voice filled with genuine emotion. She knew that Y/n wouldn’t understand her Dutch, which gave her the confidence to say the nickname she gave her. 

Y/n blushed, her adrenaline mingling with the warmth of Esmee's praise. She felt a surge of happiness, her fears and doubts melting away in that moment since the goal gave her the biggest boost of confidence.

The game started again and from the sidelines, Vicky nudged Esmee. "You're still going to confess your feelings to her after the final, right?"

Esmee glanced at Y/n on the pitch, before looking back at Vicky her heart swelling with affection. "If we win, I will."

Everyone on the team knew that Esmee and Y/n were in love with each other. However, they left it to the girls to decide on when they’ll want to confess. The whole team was aware that Esmee will ask her out after the final, little did they know— Y/n had the same plan.

The final minutes of the match were a blur of intense play and mounting anticipation. Esmee came on the pitch which excited Y/n, she knew it was Esmee’s first Champions League final too. She loved Esmee on the pitch with her, as they’re both ⅔ forwards on the pitch that moment.

Ale subbed into the game next and scored the third goal just a few minutes after. This celebration overwhelmed the fans, knowing that Barcelona would win. Y/n held up Alexia’s jersey for the fans after the captain took it off her body. Camera’s captured this site beautifully. 

When the final whistle blew, confirming Barcelona's victory, the team erupted in celebration. Amid the chaos, Y/n and Esmee found each other again, their hearts pounding with more than just the thrill of victory. Y/n wrapped her arms around Esmee’s shoulder as Esmee held hers around Y/n’s waist. 

As they stood together, before the trophy celebration, Y/n took a deep breath. "Esmee– Hi!” she awkwardly said. 

“Hi!” Esmee laughed with Y/n. She looked into the girl’s eyes and saw love and happiness in them. Y/n was the most beautiful thing to her at the moment, even with the Champion’s League trophy a few yards away. Y/n felt the same with Esmee as she placed her hands on the back of Esmee’s neck, where her braids gently fell on them.

“We won!” Y/n pumped her free hand into the air, the one that wasn’t holding Esmee. 

“We are champions!!!” The Dutch girl mimicked Y/n's movements which caused the girls to laugh uncontrollably through the awkwardness. The American realized that she needed to stop holding back from telling Esmee the truth.

“Es– um– there's something I need to tell you." Y/n swallowed. She looked over her right and saw Vicky, Ingrid, and Ona looking at them, they looked away once Y/n noticed their looks. 

Esmee smiled as Y/n looked back at her, her eyes twinkling with anticipation. "Me too, Y/n. You can go first."

Y/n's heart raced, but she pushed through her nerves. "I love you, Esmee. I wish I had told you this earlier. I've fallen in love with you, and I have to tell you, even if you don’t feel the same."

Esmee's eyes widened in surprise, and then she laughed softly, her joy evident as she pulled Y/n closer to her. "Y/n, I love you too. I should’ve said something earlier too."

After the celebrations with the trophy, getting pictures with the trophy with friends and family, and rolling around on the ground with the confetti— Y/n pulled Esmee away into the hallway which led into the dressing room. 

Both girls had the same idea as Esmee turned Y/n’s body around to face her– the girls immediately pulled themselves into a kiss, sealing their love with the triumph of their shared victory.

“Looks like the Champion’s League isn’t the only thing you’ve guys won!” Salma ran into the dressing room and cheered at the sight of her friends in love. She runs beside the couple and starts jumping up and down. 

The couple laughed and started to do the same thing. This is the best ending to a season ever, and y/n was grateful that her soft spot for Esmee blossomed into something more. 

<3

#esmee brugts #barcelona femeni #fc barcelona #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #oranjeleeuwinnen #uwcl #uwcl 23/24 #uwcl final

[seokmattchuus]

Breaking Point - Seok Matthew

"You've known each other for so long, aren't you sick of spending so much time together?" Gyuvin raised a brow as you and Matthew entered his frat house together. "I've never seen either of you on your own. Is it like, Stockholm syndrome or something?" His eyes narrowed as he tried to think it through.

"Do you think I want to keep this one around?" Matthew raised his own brow, his index finger moving to point at you. "I tried to get her to date in high school to get her off my back but none of the relationships lasted a month." He scoffed.

You rolled your eyes at the statement.

"Says the one who didn't even date." You scoffed. "Not that you had a choice, anyways."

"It's not my fault I got hot after graduation." He turned to look at you. He was always sensitive about being a late bloomer.

"Oh, you had a minor glow up and now you think you're hot." You turned to him. "You could be in an Airheads commercial with how big your head's gotten."

Gyuvin stared at the both of you, his eyes switching back and forth as you argued.

"Y/n. Matthew." He started. "If either of you need to get laid, that can be arranged."

"Please." Matthew laughed. "She gets attached too easily to have one-night stands."

You let out a scoff of disbelief at his words.

"As if you could please anyone here." You started. "You were a virgin for so long, I would bet money that you don't even know what the clit is."

"You two just got here, god damn." Gyuvin looked between the both of you in disbelief. "Are you best friends or siblings??"

"As if I'd-" You started but Ricky came up.

"I've never seen anyone walk into a party and stay by the door." He laughed. "You two look like you could use a break from each other." He said before handing you a cup and putting a hand on your lower waist.

A move that didn't go unnoticed by Matthew, his eyes locked on Ricky's hand.

And Matthew's move not going unnoticed by Gyuvin.

"He started it!" You whined as you took the cup, letting Ricky lead you through the building. "He's always talking shit."

"Anything piss him off lately?" Ricky said as he led you to a couch.

You rolled your eyes before bringing the cup to your lips, a mix of strawberry rum and sprite greeting your tastebuds.

"You always make my favorite." You smiled at him.

"I heard you come in. I figured you could use it." He laughed.

"But he's had a stick up his ass all week." You sighed. "You know how Hanbin asked Haneul to set us up? Well Matthew was fine with it at first, but after our third unofficial date, he's been trying to get me to ghost him." You rolled your eyes. "You know he even took my phone on 'accident' the other day? He had it for the whole day after our class!" Your voice was getting louder as you felt yourself getting worked up. "It's childish!"

"Sounds like you could use another drink." Ricky laughed as his eyes shifted towards the door. "But I think he has his reasons."

Your eyes followed his to see Matthew arguing with Hanbin before walking away. You'd be lying if you said you didn't notice the girl next to him but it's not like you were dating. The two of you were still talking. And casually meeting up.

Friends with benefits if you will.

"I don't care if he has reasons." You scoffed. "For someone who used to be a little bitch, he's sure gotten obnoxiously ballsy."

"Matthew? A little bitch?" Ricky smirked in amusement. "I don't see it." He shook his head with a laugh, finally bringing his cup to his lips.

"Dude." You shook your head, your eyes widening. "He used to be scared of bugs." You started. "If he even heard someone talking about a horror movie, he had to leave because it was getting to him." You chuckled.

"Oh! And there was one time where we had a field trip in high school," You paused to take another sip of your drink. "Someone he was rooming with snuck in alcohol and you know what that boy did?" You held back a snort. "He was so scared of getting in trouble that he texted his mom." You emphasized the last three words. "She called the teachers and of course, they got in trouble, but who snitches like that?" You narrowed your eyes at the gall past Matthew had.

"When he told me about still getting in trouble, I told him they at least should have drank it." You scoffed before taking another sip. "Like, you did it to not get in trouble and you still did. Might as well have had fun."

Ricky kept his eyes on you, and you weren't sure if he just didn't believe you or if he was thinking back on Matthew's behavior to see if he ever caught him slipping up.

Either way, the anger from before was fading and you were finally starting to enjoy yourself.

-

You hadn't seen Matthew since Ricky pointed him out and you were starting to forget you even came with him.

Until Ricky led you to the outside table group that Matthew was a part of.

"We're playing 'truth or drink'." Gyuvin gave a boyish smile. He was clearly a few drinks in. "You can sit here by me and Ricky." He motioned his arm to the chairs next to him. "If it's okay with Matt, of course." He smirked towards him as if saying something.

Matthew rolled his eyes for what you would call the billionth time today.

"It's not like he owns me." You mumbled bitterly as you sat next to Gyuvin, Ricky taking the spot next to you and throwing an arm over your shoulder. "Plus, I used to beat him up in high school." You said as you gave Ricky your cup to refill. "He knows better."

"Oh~~" The crowd around you teased and you looked towards Matthew who was less than amused.

-

As the game went on, there had been a bunch of answers to questions you never wanted to ask. But of course, the questions got better the more you got into it.

"Y/n!" An adorable blonde whose name you couldn't remember. You swore it was something with 'Chae', or maybe 'Na', but your brain was too fuzzy to remember. "You've been talking about how different Matt used to be." She started with a drunken giggle. "What's something that hasn't changed about him?"

Matthew's head turned towards you to shoot you a glare, but you didn't give him a chance to get to you.

"He's terrified of bugs." You held back a laugh as you thought about a time in fifth grade. "Any kind of bug. Big, small, wings, you name it, he'-"

A hand came up to cover your mouth and you turned to see Matthew himself leaning over the chair that Gyuvin was previously in. You gave him some sort of half-glare, half-pout, your hand coming up to drag his hand away.

It didn't work of course.

"Let her finish!" The girl who asked whined.

"Yeah, don't get on her bad side." Ricky laughed with a smirk. "She might beat you up again."

"It was this huge moth that flew into class, and I freaked out." Matthew said flatly, his hand still firm against your mouth.

You narrowed your eyes at him. He was lying of course, and as the only person around who knew him that well, you couldn't let these people be lied to.

You bit his hand and he pulled away almost immediately.

"No!" You yelled out as soon as his hand was away. "It was a butterfly!" You started laughed at the memory. "A fucking butterfly!!"

The table filled with laughter, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop there. After the week Matthew put you through, you could call things even after this.

"He screamed so loud, and he wouldn't stop until the teacher caught it and opened the window to let it out!" You leaned back onto Ricky's shoulder as you started to shake with laughter. The image of little Matthew screaming and pointing at the butterfly seemed so much funnier after a few drinks.

Everyone else seemed to be in an amused shock at the stark contrast from young Matthew to the person he was today. But Matthew couldn't keep the scowl off his face.

You had gotten yourself so lost in another question that you missed Ricky motioning to Matthew for something.

"Isn't it time to get you home?" Ricky shook the shoulder you were on to get your attention. "Aren't your roommates gonna worry?"

You whined at the thought.

"They left me." You pouted up at him. "They're out camping this weekend." You pushed yourself off his shoulder just to fall all the way to the other side.

Onto Matthew.

"Don't you think you've had enough to drink?" He said, annoyance taking over as he tried to get you to sit up.

"It's not like I was trying to lean on you." You gave him a scowl, or at least the best you could muster. "Gyuvin's supposed to be there, anyways."

"Yeah, you're done." He said, before grabbing your phone and standing up. "Let's get you home."

You looked to Ricky for help.

"I can't help you there, princess." He shrugged. "I don't even know where you live."

You were about to respond when you felt Matthew grab your arm to pull you up. When you lost your balance, he put your arm over his, sighing when you pulled away and stumbled again.

"Just hold on, please." He groaned. "If you fall, you're going to cry and I'm never going to let you live it down."

"I'm not even that drunk." You mumbled. "I can just go home with Ricky."

You knew what the answer to that would be, but you were petty at heart, and you were going to make this the worst possible situation for him.

"You sure your boyfriend would appreciate that?" He raised a brow.

"I don't have a boyfriend." You came back, your head held high.

"That's not what you were saying about H-"

You immediately found your footing as you forced your hand over his mouth.

"I swear on every higher power out there that I will kill you if you finish that sentence." You narrowed your eyes at him.

In true best friend fashion, Matthew responded by biting your hand so you'd pull away.

Payback was big between the both of you.

"My silence can be bought." He smiled bitterly at you before motioning with his arms for you to go before him. "Get to stepping."

-

You had spent most of the walk back to your place in silence. You didn't want to be the first to talk, and Matthew wasn't over your dramatic retelling of the butterfly story.

You didn't mind it though, after a week full of his yapping, you weren't that interested in getting him started again.

"You do have your key on you, right?" He said as you both approached the door. "Last thing we need is to get locked out."

"Do you have, like, zero faith in me?" You turned to ask him as you slid your hand into the tiny pocket of your shorts, pulling out a single key.

"Do you not own something to put the key on?" Matthew questioned as if you were insane.

"In this outfit?" You asked as if it was the dumbest statement on earth. "It would stick out and look gross." You frowned, trying, and failing, to stick the key in properly.

"You always look gross." He mumbled before taking the key from you and easily sliding it in to unlock the door.

"The rest of the keychain is right there." You mumbled as you walked past him and flopped onto the couch, the alcohol in your system starting to set in.

He rolled his eyes before reattaching the key onto the ring before turning back to you.

"You could just give me your keys next time, y'know?" His hands were gently trying to slide your shoes off without pulling too hard. "I have pockets that aren't two millimeters deep."

"That would require talking to you." You sighed, pulling your leg back to help him get the shoes off. "You haven't been the easiest to do that with."

He'd never minded when you dated people, and of course, he's yet to have anything more than a one-night stand with anyone so you never had the chance to care. But you never minded his sexcapades. You were happy, in fact. He was finally comfortable enough in his own skin to talk to women. How could you hate that? But the back and forth between being supportive of your situationships and then being upset was messing with you.

Hanbin wasn't the first time it had happened, but it was definitely the most committed he'd been in attempting to sabotage.

The first time it happened was about two years ago. You had just started college and someone from class had asked you out to coffee. Matthew insisted on hiding out to make sure he wasn't a creep, and you couldn't believe him. Nor talk him out of it.

When the guy did turn out to be a creep, you didn't hear the end of it.

"I told you so."

"What do you think would have happened if I wasn't there?"

"Can't you just say, 'thank you' and move on?"

That marked the beginning of Matthew's wishy-washy behavior towards your love life.

You'd be thankful if he wasn't such a dick about it.

"Don't tell me you passed out on me." He spoke up after putting your shoes away. You must have been too busy in your thoughts to realize he got the other one off. "I can't let you fall asleep on the couch, you're gonna kill me."

When he saw you were awake, he tilted his head.

"What's on your mind?" He asked. "You're not saying something bitchy."

You tiredly rolled your eyes.

"I'd say you're on my mind but your ego's too big for that."

"There she is." He smiled before reaching a hand out. "Let me get you to bed and you can cuss me out all you want."

"I'd rather fight you." You crossed your arms and rolled over to face the back of the couch so he couldn't help you up. "I'll sleep here. You sleep on the bed."

"You'd lose." He started before trying to roll you back over. "And remember the last time I let you sleep on the couch? You blamed me for the kink in your neck for a week."

You continued fighting him, wanting nothing more than for him to just go to bed in the other room. If you looked at him, you were scared you'd let everything out.

"I'm drunk, you know. The more you shake me, I might throw up on you."

"Nothing you haven't done before."

His response was quick and for some reason, it pissed you off more.

"Do you have an answer for everything?" You turned towards him.

And just your luck.

You turned at the same time that he pulled you.

Leading your face to end right in front of his.

It wasn't your intention, but you couldn't speak. You could only offer a small hiccup.

The silence felt suffocating as you both stared at each other. No words. No sounds.

Just another hiccup.

"I'm no better than Hanbin if I do what I want to right now." He whispered but his voice was mildly strained, as if he was holding himself back.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but the sudden closeness threw you off. You couldn't think, you couldn't speak, and you barely managed to hear what he just said.

Barely.

"This is your last chance to pick between the bed and the couch." He said, his voice just above a whisper this time. "Because I'll take the bed and lock you out."

You quickly slid out from under him and gave a small 'night' as you rushed to your room and closed the door. You barely made it to the bed before you dragged your hands down your face.

What the fuck was that?

Who the fuck were you?

And what the fuck did he mean by that?

You quickly threw on some sleeping clothes and got into bed. You were slightly dizzy but now that you were laying down, all you had to do was close your eyes and hope what he said was just the alcohol talking.

-

When your eyes opened your room was still dark. You sighed in relief as that meant it was still night.

Your throat was dry, and you weighed the possibilities of Matthew still being awake and you dying of thirst. You patted around for your phone and cringed when you saw the bright "4:57" flash across your screen.

It was highly possible he was awake.

But you also felt like a dry sponge.

Fuck it.

You slowly opened the door and tried to move as quietly as possible.

"Matthew?" You called out in a whisper, hoping he wouldn't answer. "You awake?"

When there was no answer, you quickened your pace.

As you slowly opened the fridge door, the last words he said to you lingered in your head. You didn't know if you imagined it or not, but there was no harm in venting to deaf ears, right?

"What did you mean by what you said earlier?" You whispered as you grabbed a water bottle and closed the door, sliding down it to sit on the floor. "Why do you give me mixed signals all the time?" Your voice was quieter this time, as if his dream self would hear you.

It was the most cliché thing around and you hated it. 'Best friends to lovers', 'childhood friends to lovers', 'friends who secretly love each other', and of course the 'unrequited love towards your best friend' trope.

The thought alone made you gag. They were the oldest in the book.

You had to be better than that, right?

Right?

You couldn't pinpoint exactly when your feelings towards him strayed away from platonic, but what you did know was that he wasn't making it any easier.

"Y/n?" He sleepily called out and you moved to sit behind the counter.

Wait.

This was your place.

Why were you hiding?

"Just getting some water." You spoke before clearing your throat. "Go back to bed."

You closed your eyes at how stupid the situation was. Could you be anymore cliché?

"It's like, five in the morning?" He sounded closer and you thought about booking it back to your room. "Why are you on the floor?"

You looked up and he was rubbing his eyes. Even in the dark you could see his messy hair and you felt your heart jump.

"Floor time?" You tried.

"Floor time?" He repeated, standing in the same spot as his eyes continued to adjust. "That's evening activities, not early morning."

You tried your best to bring out the feisty so you looked normal to him.

"I was dizzy from drinking, can't I sit on my own floor?"

"Do you just hate me or something?" He said. "Or did you hear what I said last night?" He scoffed. "Is this your way of drawing a line?"

Shit.

"What are you talking about?" You said as you got up and put some space between you. "I didn't hear anything."

"Liar." He took a step. "You heard me."

You took a step back.

"I think you're still drunk." You tried. "Talk to me when you're sober." You moved to push past him, but he moved in front of you.

"You drank more than me last night and you know it."

"Don't." You started. "It's not my fault you don't know how to have fun." You tried to walk around him and failed again.

"There's no one here to impress with your little tough act so just drop it." He said. "Let's just talk about what I said."

"Tough act?" You stepped back. "I've always had more balls than you and you know it." You crossed your arms. "Mr. Butterfly phobia."

Even in the dark you could see him roll his eyes.

"Do I still look like the kid you met in second grade?" He took a step towards you, and you took one back. "Do you really still see me as that same kid?" He took another step, as did you, the corner of the table stopping you. "Because I don't see you that way." He took a final step before his eyes traveled lower. "Especially in those fucking shorts."

You quickly stared up at him.

"If you're fucking with me, it isn't funny." Your voice shook as you spoke. You moved to walk past him, but he placed his arms on either side of you, caging you in.

"I'm not fucking with you." He said lowly. "And I heard you earlier." He said.

"I didn't say anything." You weren't one to give in so easily, especially when it didn't benefit you. "Hanbin wants to meet for lunch. If I want any chance at looking decent I need more sleep." You were lying out of your ass but you hoped it would work.

You moved to push his arm but it wasn't moving.

"Hanbin?" His voice was an angry kind of low. "Do you even know what he thinks about you?"

He didn't give you a chance to respond before continuing.

"Do you know how much shit Hanbin's been talking about you? And how much I've had to try and save your feelings by getting you to leave him alone?" He pushed himself off the table. "Sugarcoating this whole situation so you wouldn't be left crying over some fuckface who can't keep his dick to himself?"

You were about to respond when he continued.

"She's so easy." He mocked with air-quotes. "A few outings, a couple fucks, a gift here and there. Now she thinks I'm a changed man." He went on, acting out what you assumed to be Hanbin's exact movements.

He wasn't looking at you as he got caught up in his feelings and you were glad. Even in the dark, you were sure he'd be able to make out your expressions. Your own feelings were coming up and if he wasn't in front of you, you'd have run back to your room.

"She's so stupid." He said the word like it hurt to come out. "Can you believe she thinks I'd actually date her? Why give up my roster for her of all people?"

"You can stop now." You grit your teeth, tears threatening to spill. You didn't expect much out of Hanbin, but hearing what he had to say about you hurt more than it should have.

"I know better?" He repeated your statement from before as he ran his tongue along the inside of his lip, his jaw tensing as he leaned back in. "And what do I know exactly, y/n?" He paused. "That I'm always right and that you never want to listen?"

"But you know better?" He changed his tone, still copying your statements from before. "Just what do you know?"

"I know that you're a dick." You started, gathering all the strength in you to push past him. "And that you are just as bad as Hanbin."

You didn't wait to hear a response before you rushed back to your room and locked the door.

-

You thought falling back asleep would refresh your mind but all you did was toss and turn until the sun finished setting. It didn't help that your head had started to hurt.

You sighed as you pulled your blankets off and sat up, the pain in your head intensifying slightly. You made your way to your restroom, and quickly grabbed the bottle of pain reliever before turning the faucet on to scoop some water with your hand. You quickly popped the pill in and threw your head back. Your first attempt left you gagging, everything but the pill going down. Your second attempt was more successful.

You sighed as you were left with the unpleasant taste. You knew you'd be fucked if you didn't wash it out, but you also knew you'd be fucked if Matthew kept up his attitude from before.

You reluctantly made your way out of the room.

"One would think we live together with how often you're here." You mumbled as he sat at your table eating a bagel. You would have grabbed one, too, if the bag wasn't so close to him. You settled on some juice.

It wasn't out of the norm for him to take care of you the day after you drank, but of all the days, you really wished he'd just go home.

"People already think we're dating." He mumbled back. "It would make sense to them if we lived together." He said before getting up.

"With how much we fight, people think we're siblings." You corrected, more to yourself. "No couple acts like we do."

"Well, most couples already know the other person likes them." He said flatly.

"What's that supposed t-"

"You know exactly what I mean." He cut you off. "How many times are we going to go back and forth like this?" He sighed as he looked towards you. "You know I like you."

The silence settled and you knew you should have been jumping at the chance to say something but part of this just felt like some sick joke.

"You even asked about mixed signals that I tried to clear up and you ran away." He continued his rant. "If you don't want me just fucking say that."

The silence took over again and you wanted to kick yourself. You wanted to tell him his shitty way of clearing things wasn't the move he thought it was. You wanted to tell him that him pretty much calling you an idiot wasn't going to get him anywhere. But the words just weren't coming out.

Why was this so difficult?

"Fine. You want me gone?" He said as he stood up. "I'm going."

You bit your tongue as you watched him grab his stuff before heading to the door. He reached for the knob.

Fuck it.

"And if I do still see you as the same kid I met in elementary?" You called out, feeling a minor surge of victory as his arm fell. "It's not like you've ever acted like anything other than that."

You could hear him scoff but he didn't turn around.

"I mean, you bicker like one." You said. "You beat around the bush like one."

"And you don't?" He said, his back still facing you. "You refuse to listen like one." He started his own list as he finally turned towards you. "And if you're left to your own devices, you get in trouble."

"I may not listen but at least I can say things with my chest." You admitted. "You can't be upset that I don't see you as a man when you've never acted like one."

He dropped his stuff where he was standing, his jaw tensing as he watched you.

"Look who's beating around the bush now."

He took a step.

"This is your way of trying to get me to do something, isn't it?"

Another step.

He was nowhere near you, but the act still made you back up. Talk about déjà vu, but this was different with the lights on.

"I've barely taken two steps towards you, and you can't even handle that." He scoffed. "Maybe I don't 'act like a man' around you because you can't handle it."

Your eyes narrowed at him.

"I can." You challenged. "Hanbin can attest to that." You let a smirk form on your lips as you watched his reaction. Sure, he was a dick, but you meant what you said. And you weren't going to pass up a chance to throw something back at Matthew. "Just admit you're not man enough to act on it."

You were fully aware your words were not matching your actions, but you couldn't back down. This is how your arguments always went.

Faking it 'til you make it.

"Then come here." He motioned with his finger.

You watched as he flicked his finger, and you felt your legs stiffen.

"I'll act on it if you do." He said simply. "I'm scared if I take another step you might stumble." He smirked.

His mocking tone urged you to walk forward, even if everything inside of you screamed to stay still. Every step was a different statement running through your mind.

There's no going back if you do this.

Your relationship won't be the same.

Can you handle losing him if things go south?

The second you were in front of him, though, the way his smirk grew had your mind going blank. His hand reached up to your face, his index finger raising your chin so you were looking up at him.

He leaned in slowly, his thumb moving to rest on your chin and keep you in place.

Your heartbeat was in your ears as his lips finally pressed against yours. It didn't take long for you to kiss him back, your hand coming up to hold onto the wrist of the hand that was supporting your chin.

You could feel him smirk against you before pulling away.

"How's that for beating around the bush?" He whispered as his lips hovered above yours, eye contact never breaking as the hand that was holding your chin moved to the back of your neck. Your hand sliding towards his forearm with the new position.

"Am I supposed to believe a tiny kiss is 'doing something'?" You batted your lashes. "Is this as manly as you get?"

"All you ever do is talk shit, you know that, right?" He smirked as he took a step forward, his other hand coming around to catch you when you backed up.

"It's my specialty." You fought the urge to stumble on your words. "Don't act like you don't love it."

He pulled you closer and the warmth that you met forced a gasp from you.

"Wanna see just how much I love it?" He whispered as his hand traveled to your lower back.

You didn't trust your voice this time. All you could give him was a nod.

"Look at how much better it is when you just listen." He said as he dipped his head down to press a kiss to your jaw, his head nudging yours to the side so he could continue to your neck. "If you spent less time fighting me, I could spend more time making you feel good."

You felt a shiver run down your spine when he kissed a certain spot and you felt him smirk before biting lightly. Your hand that was resting on his arm was now tightening around it.

You wanted to say something but the feeling of his hand that was resting behind you moving under your shirt made you forget what you were going to say.

"Can I touch you?" He whispered, his hand inching closer to your breasts.

You nodded and he stopped. He pulled away and looked down at you.

"Say it."

You could feel your face heat up as the words got stuck in your throat.

"What happened to saying things with your chest, hm?" He hummed, clearly amused at how quickly you seemed to forget your little speech. "Or were you just trying to get me upset?" He gave you a mocking pout.

"You're just a brat." He said, his hand slowly inching back up, the side of his thumb grazing the side of your breast, but not fully touching you. "Acting like you don't want someone who'll just do whatever they want with you." His hand moved under your breast, keeping the same small distance.

Your mind was fuzzy as his hand traveled across your chest to the opposite side. You wanted to admit it, but you were more focused on trying to arch into his touch, a move that he couldn't help but laugh at.

"Even now you're still trying to beat around the bush." He smirked as he pulled his hand away, reveling in how your face fell. "Admit it and I'll give you what you want."

You watched as he moved to lean against the back of the couch. He used his arms for support, and you couldn't help but marvel at the way they flexed.

"And you won't use it against me?" Your voice was smaller than before and you nearly cringed at yourself.

"Not in front of others." He gave you a smirk. "Can't have anyone else thinking you'll act like this for them."

The comment had you trying to hit his shoulder in retaliation but he was quick to grab it.

"I'd play nice while I'm playing nice." He looked down at you.

The way his hand gripped your wrist had you swallowing hard.

"And if I don't want to?" Your voice was still small, but he had to respect your will to keep up the act.

"We can chill like this and stare at each other all day." He smiled sweetly.

The hand that was holding your wrist pulled you into him again.

"We can stay," He paused, his free hand grabbing your other wrist and pinning them both in his hand. "Right. Here." He cocked his head to the side with an innocent smile.

You were holding eye contact more out of spite this time and his hand was back on you, but over your clothes this time.

"Y'know." He started, never breaking eye contact with you as his hands were more committed this time. That damned smile coming back when your body reacted. "I always figured you'd be all bark, no bite." His fingers softly ran over your nipple, and you let out a sigh. "I just thought you'd be begging by now." He said before lightly pinching it.

Your hands instinctively moved, but he kept them in place.

"I also thought you'd be feistier." He chuckled. "But you must really want something if you're not fighting like you usually do." His hand moved to give your other nipple attention. "I bet you want nothing more than for me to bend you over this couch." His words were emphasized with a harsher pinch, and you were embarrassed by the moan that slipped out of you.

He was barely touching you and your legs were already squeezing together.

"You'd like that wouldn't you, baby?" He smiled, his hands pulling your wrists so you were back to being right in front of him. "Just say the word."

You licked your lips before parting them, but as his gaze was more intense, you froze.

"Come on, pretty girl." He coaxed, his hand moving to pet your hair. "Tell me how much of a brat you are." His finger ran over your cheek. "How you talked all that shit just to rile me up." He whispered as he ran his finger over your lower lip. "Tell me how bad you want me."

He was talking so sweetly that you couldn't hold back anymore.

"Please," You whimpered. "Stop teasing."

"You know how to make me stop." He said simply. "Be a good girl and tell me what I wanna hear."

"I want you." You broke. "I want you so bad, please." You whimpered, hands tugging against his hold. "If I'd known you were like this, I'd never have acted up, I swear."

"'Like this'?" He quoted with a raised brow. "And what am I like, pretty girl?"

"Matthew, please." You whined and tugged against his hold again, but he only pulled you impossibly closer.

"What did I say about playing nice?" His voice was lower and you wanted nothing more than to take back everything you said in the past twenty-four hours.

"I didn't think you'd.." You trailed off, suddenly feeling small under his gaze. "Act like this." You swallowed. "...I thought you'd just give me what I want."

"Good girl." He smiled sweetly. "Now apologize for making this harder than it needed to be."

"I-I'm sorry."

"Tell me you want me." He licked his lips. "I'll give in if you tell me one more time." He smirked. "You just sound so pretty asking for me."

All trace amounts of shame that were in you were long gone as you practically begged him to do something.

He was quick to pull you back in for a kiss, his hand releasing your wrist and opting to rest on your ass before giving a harsh squeeze, your moan acting as encouragement. He moved the both of you around the sofa so he could sit, and you happily straddled his lap and hovered, wanting nothing more than for his hands to have room to do whatever they wanted. Your hands grabbed the sides of his face, the need to just touch him taking over.

It was as if he were making up for lost time the way his hands roamed over you before slipping into your pajama shorts from one of the leg holes, the action coaxing a gasp from you.

His fingers slowly slipped under your panties, and he moaned as he slid his fingers towards your clit.

He wanted to make a comment about how wet you were from the bare minimum. He wanted to ask why you were so needy. He wanted to pull away and make a comment about how right you were that he didn't know what a clit was just to make you squirm. He wanted to tell you to beg him to touch you. But the way you sounded was too good for him to want to interrupt. He could talk his shit later.

He was slow and steady with circling your clit as if you weren't nearly dripping. You were sure he could slide into you completely and you'd be more than fine.

"Don't tease." You whispered, your head dropping onto his shoulder.

"Making sure you can take me is teasing?" He chuckled, his finger moving to slide into you. "The last thing you need to bark about it how much you can take." His tone was serious, but you really couldn't handle the foreplay.

"Matthew, I damn near came untouched from you holding me still, just fuck m-" You were cut off as a moan was ripped from you when he roughly inserted two more fingers.

"I told you to play nice twice already." He growled, his hand coming up to grab your hair and make you look at him, the sight of you with your mouth hanging open making him twitch in his pants. "I don't ask three times."

Your legs tried to close but you fucked yourself over when you climbed over his lap.

"You're going to cum from this, then apologize." He told you sternly, his fingers alternating from fast pumps to slow. "If it's a good apology, I'll fuck you like you so desperately want me to." His eyes were back on you. "Is that understood?"

You nodded, but the way his thumb ran over your clit had the words spilling out of you.

"Yes, sir." You whined as the title came out, your eyes screwing shut in partial embarrassment. It was the last thing you wanted him to know.

"And here I thought you were a 'daddy' kinda girl." He smirked as his hold on your hair moved you so he could lean in and press more kisses against your neck, leaving small bites when he felt like it.

"Matthew, please, I'-"

"Ask sir for permission." You could feel him smirk against your neck and you couldn't help but clench. "If you cum without permission, I won't fuck you at all."

"Please, sir, can I cum?" You were glad he couldn't see you. You knew the way the tears were welling your eyes that he'd never let you live it down. "I need to cum, sir, so bad."

And just like that, your luck ran out as he pulled away to look at you.

"Look at me when you cum." His thumb was back on your clit and your body twitched. "If you close your eyes, I'm leaving."

You reluctantly opened your eyes. You didn't need to be told twice if it meant you could let go, your eyes nearly closing from the pleasure. You managed to keep them at a questionable squint, and you hoped Matthew would be okay with it.

As he slid his fingers out of you, your body fell completely onto him. The rough hand in your hair was now softly petting as you tried to catch your beath.

"Now where's that apology?" He said softly when he felt you calm down.

"I'm sorry for not being nice." You'd be ashamed of yourself if he didn't just fuck you up with his fingers alone. Maybe he deserved some sincerity. "I won't make you repeat yourself again, sir."

"Hmm," He hummed as he pretended to think on it. "Do you think you deserved to cum so quickly?"

"No, sir." You shook your head. "Thank you for letting me."

You were starting to fear the heat on your face was now permanent. How were you supposed to move on from this? The idea of maintaining a friendship was gone, but how were you supposed to even look at him after this?

"Do you still want me to bend you over the couch or would you rather stay right here?"

You whined against him at the way he phrased it.

"You'll call me 'sir' but I can't ask where you want it?" He laughed his usual laugh and your heart fluttered. "Come on," He moved you off of him and took his shirt off. "We can do missionary and you can stare at me all you want."

It was your turn to laugh.

"As much as I'd love more eye contact," You chuckled. "I'll take my chances over the couch."

"Don't blame me if you fall off." He smirked.

"Are you saying you'd let me fall?" You gave him your best puppy dog eyes. "That's not very nice, sir."

Instead of words, he grabbed you and pushed you over the back of the couch, your knees steady against the back of the sofa. You were glad to not be looking at him, but something about not knowing what he'd do first was getting to you.

You lightly flinched when your felt his hands at your waist, his hands hooking both your shorts and underwear into his grasp before he pulled them down.

"As much as I'd love to just push them to the side, I don't want to ruin such cute pajamas." You couldn't see him licking his lips as the pieces of clothing landed on your knees.

He ran his hands over your legs, his eyes trained on how goosebumps trailed behind his touch.

"Do you know how many times I thought about this?" He whispered as he took in the scene in front of him. It was more to himself, and he wasn't expecting an answer, but when you spoke up, he couldn't contain himself.

"Don't hold back, then." You whispered. "I'm all yours right now."

You felt a sharp slap on your ass and you hissed.

"You're all mine from now on." He said before slapping the opposite cheek.

The words had you clenching around nothing. You wanted nothing more than to ask him to fuck you, but you were scared he'd get upset again.

"Say it." He said, the sound of his pants shifting filling the silence after the question.

"I'm yours, sir." You repeated. "Always."

You felt him move behind you and place a hand on your back. It wasn't long before you felt him run himself along your folds, the pressure on your clit making your hips buck.

It didn't take long until you felt him teasingly slip himself inside just to pull out, then repeat, pushing himself deeper and deeper with every thrust.

"Fuck," He groaned once he bottomed out, the hand on your back balling into a fist.

"Please," You moaned as you clenched around him. "Matthew, I need you."

The desperation in your voice as you said his name was enough to pull him from his thoughts.

"I'll take it that we really can't go back from this." He groaned as his hands moved to grip your hips for support.

"You're literally inside me, why are you bringing this up," You whined as you gripped the sofa. He would bring up the most irrelevant shit.

"Because -fuck- I need to know this isn't a one-time thing." His voice was strained.

Of all the times to get emotional.

"It will be if you don't shut up." You bit back a moan when his hips sped up. "I'm trying to enjoy this." Your hand reached behind you and without asking, he was quick to hold on.

The interaction was enough to make your stomach tighten, and it wasn't long before you opened you mouth in a failed attempt to ask for permission to let go. He could feel you getting closer and spoke up for you.

"You don't have to, y/n." He ran his finger over your hand. "Just let go."

The gesture had your legs shaking and it confused you. You weren't one to come undone from gentleness in bed. Yet, here you were, Matthew's name falling off your lips as you tried to catch your breath. When he groaned your name as he came, you swore you could cum again on the spot.

When you both calmed down, he slowly pulled out and wrapped his hands around you to pull you off the back of the couch. He moved the both of you so you were laying down, but you moved so you were on his side instead of his chest.

There was a strange silence that took over and you started to wonder if he was regretting it. There was nothing wrong with crossing the line, but what if the realization took over that he couldn't uncross the line? Sure, he mentioned it, but what if that was a heat-of-the-moment thing to say?

As if he read your mind, he spoke up.

"Tell me this wasn't a one-time thing." He looked down at you while his thumb ran lines over your hip.

Maybe it wasn't a heat-of-the-moment type thing.

"Do you think I'd embarrass myself for a one-night stand?" You raised a brow. "After everything you made me say, it better not be a one-time thing."

"And just how did you embarrass yourself?" He chuckled. "The begging? The tears? Screaming my name?"

"You wish I screamed your name." You rolled your eyes. "Be nice or I'm locking you out."

"You'd let me back in." He challenged.

"You sure about that?" You raised a brow.

"Of course, I am." He smirked.

"You listen to me so well."

#i don't know what this is and we're not going to talk about it. okay? okay. cool. moving on. #birfday haphapp to my bby mattchuu <33 #seok matthew #seok matthew imagines #seok matthew scenarios #seok matthew smut #matthew #matthew imagines #matthew scenarios #matthew smut #zerobaseone #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone scenarios #zerobaseone smut #zb1 #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 smut #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop smut #mine

[razorblade180]

9 days of Lancaster Day 6: Hoodie Thief

Jaune:C’mon where is it? I couldn’t have thrown it far last night.

The young man paces around the apartment, checking under couches for the tenth time and his clothes hamper. Socks are one thing, but how does someone lose an entire hoodie!? Just as he was about to give up and put on a different shirt, his front door unlocked.

Ruby came casually walking in with a grocery bag in one hand and a cold drink in another. More importantly, her choice of attire was sneakers and his missing hoodie! On her it was practically a dress that stopped just above her knees.

Jaune:Aha! I’m not crazy!

Ruby:I don’t know what’s happening but saying that is never a good sign. Sleep well?

Jaune:Yeah until I woke up missing clothes!

Ruby:My bad. I thought you’d still be asleep and I wanted to make a quick trip to the convenient store.

Jaune:….

Ruby:What? Are you mad? I didn’t think you’d-

Jaune:Are you wearing anything under that?

Ruby:…Of course.

Jaune:Why’d you hesitate?

Ruby:Because I was lying.

Jaune:*red* You went out like that!?

Ruby:If I wanted to wear clothes I would be in my corset. The store is up the street. Not like I went far. Plus it’s long enough. Not to mention I can turn into literal petals.

Jaune:Yeah but…people might start thinking things. Especially if they’ve scene me wear it.

Ruby:Jaune, at least two floors of this building know your name after last night. The early morning joggers seeing me like this already know what’s going on.

Jaune:It’s still pretty bold. Anyways I need to grab something from home, which is why I’m up in the first place.

Ruby:Okay. *raises arms* You need your hoodie right? I’m done with it for now.

Jaune:…..

Ruby:…..*smiles*

Jaune:I’ll just grab a regular shirt. *turns away*

Ruby:Boooooo

Jaune:Someone slept well. You’re extra playful.

Ruby:I’m in a good mood. Seriously, you can have it if want~

Jaune:The best way to avoid temptations is not to entertain them, and I have to turn in a few papers before they’re late.

Ruby:*red*…Did you call me tempting?

Jaune:Of course! You’re like the perfect intersection of cute and sexy. *puts on yellow shirt* I will be back in an hour*

He kisses the girl’s cheek and rushes out, leaving her blushing and playing with strands of hair as she swayed. Ruby couldn’t help but giggle to herself.

Ruby:(Hehe, he thinks I can be sexy? Good to know)

#rwby #ruby rose #jaune arc #rwby lancaster #9 days of lancaster #9 days of lancaster 2024

[riki-riks-chick]

HIII KASS ‼️‼️‼️

recently i js got out of a rlly toxic relationship with my bf, and it made me think! heeseung helping yn realize her abusive bf is bad for her??

can i be 🐮 anon?

Realize ┃L.HS

heeseungxreader

yn is in an abusive relationship, heeseung wants her to know that she deserves better.

cw: angst/fluff! domestic violence, hitting, swearing, abusive relationship, degrading.

wdct: 1.2k

tysm for your request. im so glad you're out of that relationship 💚 pls stay safe and don't sell yourself short bc u deserve a person who respects you and loves you.

═════════════

Third Person POV~

You'd be lying if you ever said this is the first time you've left your apartment in the middle of the night. It's definitely not the second either, and you're sure it's not the last. You're in a relationship, and have been in the same relationship for two years. You love your boyfriend dearly, and you're sure he loves you too, but alcoholism is a thing, sadly.

He works long days, and sometimes nights.. You'd like to think it's stress leading his actions. At least that's what you thought at first. All the time's he's come home slightly drunk, you were never bothered by it, but it seemed like he started getting more agressive as the long weeks went on.

Picking dumb fights with you over small things, getting irritated by simple touches or gestures. Slight agression over you not wanting sex from him. Everything just seems to have gone downhill the past few months.

He got home about an hour ago, at around midnight. You woke up hearing the shower, and you got out of bed, stumbling into the bathroom. "Baby?.." You call out lowly, and he peeks out from behind the shower curtain, scoffing. "I thought you were sleeping?"

"I was.. Sorry I didn't wait up for you." You apologize as he rolls his eyes. "I don't expect much from you anymore anyway.." He says as you frown, rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?.."

He turns off the shower, wrapping his towel around his waist as he steps out, his hair dripping onto his damp skin. "You're smart enough to put it together, aren't you?"

You're clearly puzzled at the annoyance in his tone, but he doesn't seem to care. "Did I do something wrong?"

He scoffs, grabbing another towel to dry his hair. "Let's see.. I basically never get sex from you, you don't wait for me at night, I hardly ever see you anymore, and you cop an attitude everytime I say anything to you." He argues as you sigh. "It's hard to want sex when you're always coming home drunk lately."

He raises an eyebrow at your words, stepping closer to you, you can smell the scent of his bodywash fresh on his skin. "Oh really?.. So if I wanted to fuck you right now, would you give in?.."

Your back hits the counter as you step back, your chest rises with each heavy breath as he traps you in between himself and the counter. "You've had a long day, and so did I.. Let's just rest.."

He chuckles, pressing himself against you, you can feel everything thanks to the thin towel he's wearing. "I think fucking you would help me relax way more.." Soon enough he's leaning in to kiss you, but you dodge immediately, pushing him away by the chest.

"Just put some clothes on and we can both sleep.." You suggest, only to be ignored when he pushes your hands away, attempting to kiss you again.

This time you shove him away, leaving the bathroom. He follows, shoving you against the wall once he has a good enough hold on you.

"Please.. Just calm down." You attempt to move, only to be pressed firmly against the wall once more. You can feel a bruising pain blossom throughout your left shoulder blade from the impact of your back hitting the wall.

He attempts to tug on your sweats, but you hold them up. "Stop, just leave me alone!"

He pulls back, staring at you as he scoffs. "You stupid bitch.. Show some respect."

The next few seconds blur as you feel his palm strike your cheek, the pain burning itself into your skin as you immediately press your hand to the spot to soothe the pain.

Your eyes are watering and he's seemingly shocked by his own corse of action. As soon as he parts his lips to speak, you run past him, grabbing your phone before leaving the room.

You slip into some shoes, grabbing your keys and your wallet just in case. And then, you left.

Now you're standing in the rain, feet planted on the doormat of your closest friend's doorstep as you raised your fist to knock.

Though it took awhile, the door eventually opened, Heeseung staring down at you with a pitied expression. "Y/n?.. What are you doing here this time of night?.. Did you guys argue again.." He leaves before you can answer, soon coming back with two towels. He sets one on the floor so you can walk in and then he wraps the other one around you.

You finally release the well of tears that you tried so hard to hold back, and Heeseung's worry multiplies itself. He decides that comforting you is worth more than staying dry, so he hugs you, rubbing comforting circles onto your back.

"What happened..?" He questions gently, pulling back to look at you. You take a second to calm down before staring up at him. "He hit me..." You divulge with a sob, and Heeseung's expression twists confusedly.

"Your boyfriend?.." He asks, and when you nod, his eyes go dark. "I told you to break up with that asshole ages ago, and now he's hitting you?!"

It's clear Heeseung is upset, but you're not in the mood for the "I told you so" speech. "He didn't mean it... He just got upset.." You defend to which Heeseung sighs, pulling away from you. "Y/n.. Getting upset is no excuse to hit your girlfriend.. You need to end things with him.." He says blatantly and you shake your head. "He loves me.. I know it.."

Heeseung shakes his head at you, rubbing his temples. "He doesn't give a shit about you! As much as I know it'll hurt you, I can't just stand by and watch that fucker ruin you!" He yells and you go quiet, sobbing quietly. "Heeseung.. I love him..."

Something snaps inside him at your words. He grabs you firmly by the shoulders, leaning slightly closer to you. "And I love you..." He reveals, his own eyes glossed over. This is clearly something he's wanted to say for years now, but he didn't imagine it going this way. "Y/n.. I know you only see me as a friend.. But I care so much for you.. I can't watch the girl I love be treated that way by someone who isn't even worthy of her.."

You're still shocked at the question, but you nod regardless. "I didn't know you felt that way.." You mumble as he sighs, letting go of you. "I've like you since the day we met.. Sadly that bastard came along and stole you.."

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you..." You apologize as Heeseung sighs. "I'm not mad at you.. You're the victim.. Promise you'll leave him?.." He asks as you nod, pinky promising him.

"Let's get you some dry clothes.."

═════════════

i hope this is good I'm not good at semi-angst fics

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen hyung line #enhypen heeseung #heeseung soft thoughts #heeseung soft hours #lee heeseung x reader #enha heeseung #heeseung headcanons #lee heeseung #lee heesung x reader #heeseung angst #enha angst

[toji-girl]

Levi - 7

(Idk if i did this correctly 😅)

18+ content only - mdni

you did do it correctly yes 😌

tags: fem reader + modern au + explicit smut + age gap

Levi couldn't ignore the pang in his chest when the sweet scent of your perfume wafted around him when you sat so close to him. You were his assistant and younger, not by much but albeit.

Your skin glowed in the golden sunlight that streamed from the open windows, highlighting your features and the modern classroom.

"I can feel you staring, Mr. Ackerman, do I have something on face?" You hummed never breaking your concentration from grading.

Silver eyes narrowed, then shifted down to his own papers on the desk. "I was checking your work." He replied smoothly that if you were anyone else, you wouldn't have picked up on his tone.

You hummed again, making his blood sizzle as the two of you finished until the stack of papers resembled a paper mountain, and your eyelids felt like they weighed a ton. "Call it a evening?"

Levi didn't want to, but sleep always eluded him anyway.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning." He husked with a nod, watching as you stood up, gathering your things, working up the courage to ask you to stay.

It's been two years since you've been working under him, and he likes the flow between you and him, how you're able to shoot back so quickly with ease and a grin.

"I have a date, so I can't be late or I won't get another mate." Your rhyming usually made him chuckle or roll his eyes, but the mere mention of a date made his skin tighten with jealously.

The next evening, Levi could tell you were withdrawn. Your little comebacks didn't shine through his sass and it was clear you're upset.

"Bad date?" He questioned when he settled next to you. Your eyes never shifted from the paper as you shrugged, unsure what to tell him.

Levi is your boss, not some twenty-five year old co-worker you can gossip with about getting dicked down only to end up disappointed.

Your face flushed with warmth as you remembered how you moaned Levi's name and not your dates when he went down on you. It wasn't until then when you finally came and he left.

"Have a one night stand go bad?" You asked, letting the question settle between the lines of silence that was filled with static.

Levi shifted in his seat briefly, remembering a date he had a while ago with the same woman he's been going out with for the last several months and how he dreamt of your mouth instead of hers pleasuring him.

She knew exactly what to do to get a man to cum in less than a minute but Levi's guilt refused to let him experience the bliss and his orgasm was dry, painful leaving him irritated.

You were all he could think about. "No, sex should be with someone you have a connection with, so I don't do that." He simply replied.

Levi was always honest.

Sometimes, too honest, but you appreciated that about him.

"Well, when you want to get off...anyway it was awful, ever call someone's name out?"

Your question made his dick twitch with his fantasies of him kissing your pussy then riding him in his chair with your tits in his face.

He wanted to let his hands be greedy and feel you up. "No, I've never done that either."

"You are old." You teased rolling your eyes now feeling a bit perkier.

Levi took notice and handed you a stack of paper. "I'm a decade older, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to please a woman."

Courage or pure stupidity got a hold of your mouth and pried it open. "Prove it."

His eyes narrowed in challenge as you both engaged in a stare off until you leaned in closing the distance to kiss him fully on his mouth.

Levi's lips were soft and tasted like tea, his tongue parted your lips to sweep in your mouth as you scrambled from your chair to straddle him.

His bulge pressed against your aching pussy as you ground down on him as your fingers flew down his shirt to unbutton it and reveal his body to your touch that seared his flesh.

He hissed when you dipped down lower to unbuckle his belt. "Mr. Ackerman--" Your breath mingled with his as your nose bumped his.

Your gaze met in a heated exchange as his hands slid into your pants and panties to grope and squeeze while the both of you undressed each other with wet kisses that followed after.

At any time, anyone could walk in and see you two dry humping until you were naked in his lap, and he was half naked thrusting wildly up.

His cock slid between your slick pussylips separating them catching his tip on the soft opening of your cunt. He held you close to him and helped you sink down slowly.

The both of you let out soft, drawn-out moans as you rode him slowly, wrapping your arms around his neck as your tongues tangled.

#📝notes #levi smut #levi ackerman smut #Levi smut #aot smut #levi x you smut #levi x reader #levi x reader smut

[madarasgirl]

His Immortal

Permission to use art from the INCREDIBLY talented @vanerchest. Feeling very honoured! I think about this piece often whenever I write Alucard angst.

C/W: Alucard (Ultimate) x senior!Reader, angst, on death and dying, hospital setting, hurt/no comfort, shadow writing. Inspired by the legendary song "My Immortal" by Evanescence Words: 998

You supposed you were the one who was selfish for choosing this mortal fate and leaving your greatest love behind.

Did you regret this path? Sometimes you thought perhaps you did. There would have been tons to gain by becoming an ageless vampire at his side, and on occasion, you used to speculate 'what if?'

It didn't matter. It was far too late to backtrack anyways, and it would be an insult to do so, after living such a beautiful, full lifetime spent with Alucard, teeming with precious memories and magical experiences. He aged with you through the decades –at least he made it so his appearance did.

But as with all mortals who lived long enough, you too eventually grew very old, frail, and sick. Your body betrayed you and no longer belonged to you. It didn't obey when you wanted to walk, speak, eat, or even breathe.

So here you lay in a hospital bed, intubated and sedated, machines replacing the function of vital organs while multiple drugs dripped nonstop to hold you captive in this realm. What a sight you made, with tubes protruding from every corner on your skeletal form.

Your body may have failed, but fortunately you never developed dementia. Your mental faculties were as crisp as the night you met so long ago. A piece of you was still buried within, floating from above and somehow aware of the happenings around you in your comatose state.

The various alarms and buzzing were only background noises by now, and there was little commotion this time as well, but you felt a sense of relief. Sighing inwardly, you wished Alu would leave your side for a moment so you could just die already, though you knew that was an empty hope. The vampire had not parted from the bedside your entire stay.

Was he scaring the nurses by crying again? You hoped he'd remember to make them forget this time. And not to terrorize the staff and force them to do whatever it took anymore. You recalled the time you surfaced with another set of thick tubes in your neck and groin, and how painful they were. How frightening it was.

"You must live," he whispered to you at night at first. For his sake. So you did, trapped in the confines of your weathered shell, you continued to exist for him, slowly spiralling downhill until now.

With any other man, you'd be helpless to communicate in your vegetative state, but Alucard had never been as mediocre as 'normal.' So you begged him through telepathy. After all these years, reaching for his mind was as easy as sifting through your own thoughts, as natural as breathing (well, back when you were still able to do so independently). You implored him again to let you go. You were terminal and old, with no hope for recovery or any good prognosis. Being connected to every form of life support was not life, just a sad fate that prolonged your suffering and delayed your inevitable expiration.

Long ago, he promised not to let you suffer.

Alu, please don't make them bring me back again when my heart stops.

The weary, congested muscle thudded weakly towards failure. You were already dead in every way except you still possessed vital signs. The numbers were just evidence of the drugs, transfusions, and machines at work though.

The irony wasn't lost on you. At the end of the road, after declining his many offers to turn you when you were a maiden, you were finally just like Alucard, the living dead. You'd laugh if you could.

...More than anything, you didn't want him to see you like this, a husk of the vibrant woman you once were when you fell for each other. The unlikely circumstances of your meeting and scenes from your life flashed by in an instant. The vampire would tell you throughout the decades, when he'd get in one of his romantic moods, that you'd always be his sprightly young woman no matter your age. He actually only told you again yesterday. Or was it last week? 

How long have you been laying here?

The mind's eye saw his seated figure clearly and smiled. Actually, your tired mind pondered, you certainly did not regret a moment of your life with Alucard. He was the perfect partner and his unchecked devotion never gave you a reason to regret choosing him. Your lifespan was too short for that, he used to tell you.

But you regretted leaving him behind to be alone once more.

--------------------

Your heart stopped. And he loved you enough to let you go.

You were free.

Your spirit lifted from the prison of your flesh and you soared, wrapping around your love with your incorporeal form, sinking into him and caressing the unbeating heart that had ever belonged to you. This time, you wiped away the blood tears that fell.

You quivered.

Liberated from the pains and illnesses of advanced age, it was as if you'd become new and for the first time ever, like the fog lifted and you could finally see with clarity. Your non-existent chest tightened at the sight of your love crushed by your death, looking utterly devastated and lost. There was no sobbing or outward breakdown, but you knew his expressions well.

Nebulous fingers smoothed over inky black locks while you cradled his cheek. Glistening eyes the colour of polished rubies stared blankly at your lifeless corpse, your chest still rising and falling mechanically before the ventilator was turned off. He could not feel your soothing touch anymore and it broke you.

...

You will watch over your vampire from above and wait for him for the rest of your eternity, until he returned to dust and was no more. Then you'd meet him wherever he ended up. Just as he was, you were bound by the life you left behind.

And even if he was unaware, he still had all of you.

~End~

(For more angsty romance, check out my one-shot “Without You” on AO3. Warning: Smut abounds in that one. It is about the occasion when Reader chooses to remain human for her remaining days with Alucard. You will find similar themes to this short scene)

#alucard hellsing #alucard x reader #alucard x you #alucard fanfiction #vampire x human #angst #Actually I'd rather die of old age in my sleep #In bed with Alucard and not a living corpse in a hospital #But mentally I needed to write this piece for myself #Reader is more likely to be very puffy and edematous based on her medical status and elderly comorbidities #But I used “skeletal” instead for the effect #tw death #monster lover

[sitp-recs]

Hello! Not sure if you'll respond but I thought I'd ask about it anyway.

Would you happen to know of any fics with a very complex characterization of Draco and Harry with a bit of gut wrenching situations? Preferably older D&H after the war. I'm even open to tragedy, even cheating(?) and just something that is out of the ordinary. I know I'm shit at explaining this but, I'm just like, craving a fic that has adult problems, where one/both of them are at a moment of life where things are complex. Maybe H left D a while ago and married someone else, and then after a few years he sees him again and is just lost in a haze of "what if I hadn’t?" or "what to do with myself now?" because getting back with him isn’t easy? I'm sorry for this weird messy ask but you are the first person who came to my mind who I thought could help me out? Sorry for rambling so much! It's definitely alright if you can't find anything like this of course! Have a great day!

What an interesting ask, anon! I’m a bit picky with gut-wrenching themes but I do love myself a thought-provoking, mature fic. It’s about the implications and complications amirite 🤌🏼 this list is a personal take so I’m not sure it is what you’re looking for, but here are some fics that came to mind when I read your ask. Pls mind the tags before jumping in. I’d be very curious to see what my followers rec too!

Kissed by Pie (M, 12k)

Draco Malfoy was attacked by a rogue Dementor on the night of his Azkaban release. He self-exiled to Muggle London and opened a late-night chocolate shop called Kissed.

Poor Unfortunate Souls by DoubleApple (E, 19k)

Draco is a potioneer. Harry is trying to save his sex-challenged marriage. Everything is a mess, but at least there's an octopus in the lobby.

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

Stain of Silence by brummell (E, 28k)

After the war, Draco serves out his sentence in Harry Potter's house.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (E, 41k)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t.

On One's Knees by pir8fancier (E, 34k)

The war is over and to the victors go the spoils. If you are triggered by infidelity, this is not the fic for you.

REVOLVEVLOVER by firethesound, zeitgeistic (E, 46k)

The work Harry does is justifiable. It’s justice. He works for his country, and his country is a republic—the magical side, anyway. It’s not laudable work, it’s not work he’s proud of, but it’s necessary work. Harry has always taken the necessary jobs that no one else has the stomach for. It’s just that he’s never deciphered a kill sheet and seen Draco Malfoy’s name on it.

Nightingale by michi_thekiller (NC-17, 60k)

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. -Jacques Deval

Super Rich Kids by trishjames (E, 81k)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore (M, 82k)

When Harry is forced to form a Blood Bond with Draco Malfoy under threat of death, he thinks his future will consist of a cold home and sexual frustration. But when a group of left-over Death Eaters decides to stir trouble, their lives change completely – and it takes them both some years to figure out whether it’s for better or for worse.

Danse Russe by Frayach (E, 140k)

True Love. Soul Mates. They're just words until put to the test. Harry and Draco have a bond that was forged in the hell of the post-war years and pulled them both back from an abyss of nihilism and self-destruction. Nothing can break it, or so they believed. But True Love can demand sacrifices too great to bear and deeds too terrible to justify.

Plus 2 fics I haven’t read but can vouch for the authors as I’m very familiar with their work:

Unhook the Stars by jad (E, 70k)

Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words.

Freedom to be by Quicksilvermaid (E, 170k)

Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. 12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends. Only nothing feels perfect.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #complex stories

[yawujin]

Can you make the danganronpav3 boys with a jealous s/o props if you put extra time into Shuichi, Rantaro and Kokichi they’re my favourites

Thank you if you do!

awwwright here it is, hope you like it :)

request | v3 boys x a jealous S/O

type | established relationship , non killing game , light hearted , gender neutral reader

shuichi saihara always reminds his love that he only has eyes for them, no one else can compare anyway. still though, they feel the slight sting of envy whenever he is with kaede or himiko, even if they are just his close friends. "come here" he'll beckon his S/O over to sit nearer to him. once they do; he'll embrace them, pulling them in so very close and holding on tight. his sleuthing skills led him to the conclusion that today they were feeling especially jealous. (jk he just can read the room v well) "i'm here, and i'm not going anywhere." he promises.

rantaro amami's S/O makes him pinky promise that he has room for only one love and that's them. "i have you here, and that's all i need." he kisses their hand gently. later on, if they still feel jealous, he really lays on his charm thick. the sentences "you're all i could ever ask for." & "you're the only one i want." can be heard while rantaro and his S/O are on a hillside, watching the summer festival fireworks. he squeezes their hand as they walk past the many crowds of tourists surrounding the area.

kiibo usually tries to get his love to talk about all the reasons they are feeling jealous. damn, i wish i was the ultimate inventor so i could spend more time with him is what his S/O would think everytime miu pulled him away for maintenance. when they finally communicate their envious thoughts to him, he says: "this likeness for you is physically impossible for me to feel towards any other person." kiibo pauses. "or in other words, you taught me how to love, and for that i'm devoted to you." and, at least in that moment, their jealousy went away.

korekiyo shinguji tells them they need not worry, for everyone can get a little envious at times. they always remember how kiyo mentioned he had had encounters with various women from villages he visited in the past. they knew they shouldn't get jealous of that since they weren't even dating at the time but...

however, he had a fix for this. laying his S/O down and whispering affirmations into their ear. "i won't ever leave you, my dear. you have my word."

kaito momota helps his S/O's jealousy go away by making the push to spend more time with them. if it's attention they want, attention is what they will receive. he's a man of action and shows them that they're the only one he'll do these things with. he chose a late night picnic under the stars for him and his love.

gonta gokuhara will hold his S/O for an hour straight before he allows them to be jealous any second longer. "gonta promise he only love you!" he always says it with so much sincerity, they have no reason to doubt him.

ryoma hoshi reminds them that there is so use feeling jealous. "i'm already yours." he states it as fact, so they take it as fact. ryoma's comfort is his S/O, just as he is his S/O's comfort. he plans for it to stay that way for a very long time

kokichi ouma's initial reaction is to tease them about it. "aww, you feel that much for me?" he says it as if it's a laughing matter, but internally he feels as though he should make more time for them. he begins making excuses up, explaining to his friends that he can't hang out that day because of (insert ridiculous reason) but in reality it's all because he wants to see how happy his S/O gets when they get more of his undivided attention.

#danganronpa headcanons #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa x reader #drv3 killing harmony #shuichi saihara x reader #rantaro amami x reader #drv3 k1b0 #k1b0 x reader #korekiyo x reader #kaito momota x reader #gonta gokuhara x reader #ryoma hoshi x reader #kokichi ouma x reader #kiibo x reader

[this-loser]

Through the Motions

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Author's Notes: I meant to post this on Monday, but things came up and I ended up with a toothache. That really threw me off my game and I left the second chapter uncompleted, but gave you guys a small preview. That was the unedited version though and compared to this. Anyway, the first chapter is linked here and you can read this on AO3 too.

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「WC: 3,502 」

「Summary: It took one mistake of going to a party and another with you being in an alley watching utter chaos unfold with a guy that's called, Red Hood.」

「Warnings: Minor cursing and some mentions of verbal abuse, but nothing detailed」

────────────────────

「Chapter 2: The Start Of A Headache」

───────────────

Your legs were still shaking, threatening to give out at any point as you stood there in the alley.

Not even that many words were exchanged between you and that weird guy, yet he left an impression. One that made you realize that he is the type of man to not be fucked with. He literally threw a man against a wall. Threw. That word alone made you feel worse because that guy could easily punt you across the city. All that would be left would be a fine mist of red.

The thought doesn’t help.

Light on tonight. We’re keeping the light at my desk on. You think to yourself.

The breeze of the night air was colder, at least to you, and it caused you to shudder. You force your leg to move, dragging it across the pavement, then quickly head back to your apartment.

Why not listen to the six-foot-tall guy in a weird get-up? Better than staying in the alley. Although another part of you was tempted to return to the building and hide there. Out of the need for comfort and maybe some more alcohol after coming across that scene.

It was hard to tell if your thoughts were moving too fast or if the alcohol mixed with the boost of adrenaline was forcing you to be stuck in a limbo of thoughts and panic.

───────

Somehow, through the panic, you managed to get back to your apartment. Though maybe the people who were out and about at this late hour must have given you funny looks as you retreated home. If they saw what you saw. They would also be speed walking or running down the sidewalks.

Your body was tense, eyes wide and glancing around anxiously. The hallway was empty for the night, and every one of your neighbors was inside their apartments as the elevator door closed behind you.

The hallway felt stretched in front of you. Maybe the alcohol was now really messing with you and making everything else sound far away.

That is until the sound of a door being thrown open pulls you back. You’re about six steps away from your apartment door as the neighbors down the way are dragging their argument into the hall.

Cursing and accusations fill the air as a woman stomps out of the other apartment. And she makes eye contact with you now that she's in the hall. You already look like a deer in headlights before rushing to your apartment door. Feeling around in your jacket pocket for your keys, praying that you didn’t drop them anywhere. It takes a second before your fingers brush against cold metal and your fingers curl around the keyring, pulling it out and causing your keys to hit each other.

A sigh leaves you. So you weren’t that panicked and you had not dropped your keys anywhere.

Her boyfriend emerges from their apartment, grabs her arm, and spins her to face him. He starts up again, then she yells at him, trying to pull away.

You knew better than to intervene. Should, but after what you had seen tonight, you were not about to get punched or worse. The door to your left opens, and an elderly man walks out. His attention is on the couple.

Words are a jumbled mess to you. Everything going on is ignored as the top lock is unlocked with a soft click before moving to the bottom one and unlocking it. Without another thought, you opened the door and closed it behind you, leaning against it as you took in a few breaths as your hair fell in front of your face.

Your chest felt heavy. You knew you were close to having a full-out panic attack.

The voices continue outside your apartment. Not that it mattered because this was an everyday thing. Those two would fight, someone would intervene, and then it went into a full-blown argument between three people until someone had enough or threatened to call the land and cops.

You stood there for a few minutes, taking in deep breaths and slowly letting the fuzziness in your head ebb away. Once calm enough, you locked the door, moved your hair from your face, and moved away from it. Your body is stiff and still filled with tension.

It wasn’t going away anytime soon.

You cross the floor, kicking off your shoes and not caring where they land for the moment. You will deal with that tomorrow. Next was pulling off your jacket and digging into the pockets to take your phone and wallet out of them before shoving the jacket into the closet in the living room.

Aside from the kitchen light being on, the living room was mostly dark. But you knew the place well enough to not accidentally knock something over.

You moved to the couch, bumping into the arm and letting out a string of curses.

Never mind, maybe you judged too quickly how far the couch was.

Aside from the minor miscalculation, you feel your way to the floor lamp and turn it on. You mumble more curses at the couch and yourself before plopping down on the couch. Your stuff falls out of your hand and beside you on the cushions.

You stayed like that for a few minutes before your brain decided to remind you of that weird guy. It’s like your curiosity had no end, and within the next few seconds, you were on your phone, Google searching for this guy.

The whole situation could easily be a fever dream from the alcohol… Right?

Turns out that it was not, and you are currently looking at a news report of a guy called "Red Hood”. The report is barely even helpful, not much is known about him, other than a few eyewitness accounts that all say he has saved them or been seen killing criminals. But it’s mostly a dead end on information.

Another site mentioned that Red Hood and every other vigilante should be taken down because all they do is cause more issues in Gotham.

Clearly, people were divided on him and Batman. Common knowledge to know about Batman since he is reported on a lot.

Red Hood was far more mysterious, and from what some reports claimed, he was a serial killer.

Somehow, you found yourself in a rabbit hole of looking for more information. Until you stumbled on a weird site. Your eyes ran over most of the paragraphs, not too invested in most of it at first. Your eyes landed on a line that you stopped and read through.

‘Red Hood. He showed up a few years ago and is pretty new, but in that time he’s done a lot, but his methods are questionable. He kills the criminals that he comes across, in rare cases where he’s left them alive as a warning or to keep an eye on them.

Some kids on the street say he’s a good guy and look up to him. Some even say he takes care of them.

No kids are ever harmed by him. Which makes me think that he does have some level of compassion. Maybe even sympathy.

However, there have been mentions that he has a bat symbol on his suit, similar to Batman, but he doesn’t follow the Bat’s views. But this is based on people’s brief encounters with him.’

The comment section is a mess of people. Some say that Red Hood is just another criminal that disguises his true intent. While others mention they would prefer if Gotham didn’t have any more of these psychos. The few who do appreciate Red Hood all mention that he does far more than Batman could ever do.

No matter how far you look, it seems like people will always view this weird guy as a criminal. You think to yourself as you hit the power button on your phone and put your phone into sleep mode.

Better to not continue this weird deep dive into this already strange dude.

Eventually, you gathered your stuff up and headed into the bedroom. Turning the light on at your desk, then crawling onto the bed and not caring to plug your phone into the charger. You didn’t even care to change out of your clothes the second you hit the mattress. Your eyelids close, and your hand loosens its grip on your stuff.

With the adrenaline out of your system and the alcohol still creating a light buzz in your head, you’re lulled to sleep. Red Hood is no longer in your mind or the fear.

The second the world faded, you were locked in REM. Your subconscious dragged back that moment.

Once again, you were standing in that alley, fear riddling your mind as you stared at him. He stands there, feet away from you, and not turning around. His attention elsewhere while your presence didn’t seem to make him snap out of it.

Slowly, the fear disappeared. Questions and curiosity swirl around you as you stare at Red Hood. Who is this guy? Why is he like this, and what could have happened in his life that would make him take a drastic turn?

All of this curiosity in your head kept you tossing and turning most of the night. Replaying that moment like a broken record, yet the same song played, and it’s like it wouldn’t end.

Morning comes. The sound of your alarm on your phone going off and forcing you out of your restless sleep. Groggily, you feel around the mattress for your phone and grab it after patting the bed for a few seconds, then swiping snooze on the alarm. You're back on the bed, getting comfortable again.

You were exhausted, and the tossing and turning didn’t help. Your mind cursed you to be tired for the rest of the day while a festering annoyance began in your mind.

The alarm goes off again, and you let out an audible groan. Today was already a pain. Just great.

───────

Most of the morning had been spent sluggishly shuffling around your room and bathroom, getting ready for work. Your mind is stuck on the little hours you slept compared to reliving the dream and moment in the alley.

Once you had gotten ready for work and left, the first hour of your shift was hazy, leaving your body to go through the routine that had built up in the last few months since you started working at this convenience store.

Your dazed state didn’t go unnoticed for too long. Richard, your manager, pulled you to the side. Scolding you for being spacey and telling you to focus on doing your job. The embarrassment is what got you out of that state and the idea that a few of your coworkers would have something to gossip about later.

That alone made you feel ten times worse. The frustration and annoyance growing in the back of your head is now worsening.

“Psst, hey,” The hushed voice makes you jump, turning your head to see Claire sneaking out of the backroom. She was one of the decent people in this place who didn’t gossip too much, but she had a habit of being self-absorbed at the worst moments.

She quickly and silently rushes to your side behind the counter. Moving to the left of you, beside the register, and leaning her lower back against the counter on that end. “Heard you got an earful from, Rich. What’s going on? You’re never thisout of it during your shift.” You open your mouth to respond, instead, Claire presses two fingers against your lips. “Let me guess,” She flashes you a cheeky grin, “Something happened at the party? And you didn’t tell me about it!”

Not only did she have the audacity to invite you and then leave you at that stupid party by yourself, but now she’s making assumptions.

Your eyes narrowed at her as your jaw clenched. If you weren’t currently at work, you would not hesitate to yell at her, but the last thing you needed was Richard coming back out here to drag you into the back and scold you some more.

You breathe out, forcing yourself to not snap at her and pushing her hand away. Can’t you just leave me alone? It’s what you want to say, but only let the words linger in your thoughts. “No, nothing happened.” You looked away from Claire. Desperate to keep yourself in control.

She nudges your arm with her elbow in an attempt to look back at her. “You can’t be serious! How boring are you?” That makes your shoulders slump. Please… Go away… You think to yourself as she nudges her elbow a little harder against your arm as her other hand tucks her dark curls behind an ear.

Your eyes wander, glancing at the security mirrors in the store while Claire stands there. Lecturing you, but you ignored it.

Near the toilet paper is an elderly lady.

Laughter pulls you from looking at the mirror. A trio of boys are standing in the front aisles and looking through chips. They are pretty much minding their own business, so they were alright. For now.

The bell on the door rings and your attention is pulled from the customers to a new one walking in.

In Gotham City, there are two ways to react to seeing a hooded guy. The first way to react is to be as calm as possible and smile at him, hoping he doesn’t get ideas. The second way is to be scared and pray to god that he doesn’t do anything.

A guy in a red hoodie walks in, hands in the front pocket as he stalks to the counter. He’s tall, and that already makes things worse in your head. You would easily have your ass handed to you if he pulls out a weapon or punches you.

His hood is up, and you can barely see his face in the shadows. Oddly enough, he has a slight hunch even for his stature. His back has got to hurt from that.

“Good morning,” You say without stuttering. However, it is noticeable how nervous you actually are while he simply stares at you for a second before looking over at Claire, who has gone quiet. Something that only makes your stomach churn.

You can’t see her face, but you know she’s got her eyes narrowed and is keeping an eye on this guy’s every move.

He doesn’t respond and looks back at you, then rolling his shoulders. “Cigarettes. Doesn’t matter the pack.” His voice is gruff like he doesn’t talk much to people, and with how blunt he is, that would definitely be the case.

The sound of the backroom door opening makes you, the guy, and Claire all look in that direction as Richard holds the door open. His eyes land on Claire before he motions to her. “Get over here, you’ve got work to do.” It wasn’t a surprise that he had just realized that she hadn’t been in there this whole time. Claire hesitates, not wanting to leave you alone with this guy. But she is aware that Richard doesn’t care too much about the dude as long as he pays and does not cause problems.

Claire pushes herself away from the counter and pulls you back, her lips close to your ear. “If this guy tries anything, scream and I’ll come beat his ass.” She knew that she could not actually hurt this guy, but she was going to try anyway. You knew that. All you can manage is a small nod as she lets go of you and moves to the backroom. “You know not to even be up here-” “Yeah, whatever.” She dismissively waves a hand as she walks by Richard. He narrows his eyes at her and follows her into the back. Inaudible voices beyond the door.

“I’m… sorry about that.” You look back at the guy. He lets out a grunt. Hard to tell if he is purposely being rude or if this is how he normally is. Either way, you grab a pack of cigarettes and place it on the counter, then input the item into the register. “That will be fourteen dollars and fifty-seven cents.” Your attention turns back to the guy, and he moves his hands from the front pocket of his hoodie, pulling out a wallet.

Maybe it was your curiosity, but his hands were callous and rough. Some scars on them. Wonder what kinda of job causes those kinds of scars. Your inner thoughts were rampant as you looked at his scars with interest. Hell, he didn’t even care that you were staring. It’s like he was used to it.

He sets a twenty dollar bill on the counter, shoving his wallet and a hand back into the front pocket as his eyes move back to look at you. Waiting.

You are snapped from your thoughts and focus your attention on the money. “Thank you,” You pick up the twenty dollars and place it into the register, pull out a five dollar, and begin to count the cents while the receipt is printed out. “Keep the change.” He takes the pack off the counter, walking out of the store while you stand there.

You barely process what happened and that he had left without even taking the receipt or letting you say anything.

Your shoulder twitches as you start putting the money back into the register. Fighting the urge to slam the thing closed as you are left feeling utterly stupid. A headache forms while you run your hands through your hair.

───────

The ding of the bell and the door closing were the last things he had heard as he walked out. Cigarette pack in hand.

Fucking paranoia. He thought to himself. Not only did he run a background check and come up with nothing. Not that he was surprised it was clean. Hell, Bruce usually did background checks on every damn person he’d come across out of “safety” reasons. Not that Jason didn’t get why it was done. He didn’t feel like descending into the trap of paranoia, but with how he was brought up and what he was put through this was bound to happen.

Jason shoved the insignificant annoying thought away. Cursing at how quickly his mind was to betray him and even compare him to the old man.

He glanced down at the pack of cigarettes. Wasn’t even his favorite brand, but he did say that the pack didn’t matter like an idiot. Then again, he was running on the last bit of coffee he had earlier and about an hour of sleep, so he wasn’t entirely in the mood to care. He tore open the packaging, shoving it into his hoodie pocket, then reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out a lighter. After that little shit show, he needed this.

He lit the cigarette, shoving the pack into the front pocket of his hoodie. Taking a drag.

Clean background check. Then what the hell was the idiot even doing in an alley? That late?

See, Jason had been thinking and wondering since the other night. He was too busy talking down that worthless asshole to even care about the fact that music had been playing from the building. He’s got bigger problems to deal with.

He was even questioning why this single person even mattered to him. Somewhere in his muddied mind, he actually froze. Frozen in the alley and even now. Maybe it was the look that had been given to him. Pure fear, but also that they had stood in that alley, and some part of him was worried? Would worry even be the right word?

Honestly, he was stuck on how to feel. He went out of his way to do a background check and then dropped by their workplace.

Jason breathed out another puff of smoke, walking along with the crowd and despising every second he was stuck walking amongst the crowd.

God, he was thinking too much about this one person who had no ties to him or anything. They were pretty ordinary… Similar to him whenever he wasn’t dealing with Gotham’s criminals.

Coincidence my ass. Jason lets that thought fill into his head as he thinks back more. His face stays relaxed as his bangs stick to his forehead from the light sweat on him.

The sound of the city around him. Birds chirping while people walking down the sidewalk chat or go on about their lives. Vehicles move through the streets while distant sirens can be heard. This place was nosy, but this was how the city usually was.

This gets him out of his head for a second as he flicks the cigarette onto the ground, snuffing it out. Coffee sounds good. He needed it. Too much to think about, and he was running on whatever energy he still had.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #dc #dc comics #dc fanfic #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x you

[incesthemes]

as i've rewatched seasons 1 and 2 of supernatural i've been pondering and hypothesizing reasons why john was so adamant on not letting sam know about his destiny. why he was so intent on keeping this secret, why he didn't want sam knowing about monsters, why his role in their hunts appeared to be research-oriented and thus away from the action. my perspective on ignorance and censorship is that it enables further harm, so if john were going to effectively protect sam, it would stand to reason that sam should have a comprehensive understanding of his destiny and what he's up against: give him the tools to fight.

this is obviously not the route john went, so then i have to question why that is—what about censorship was so appealing to him that he thought it not only the best way to keep sam safe, but perhaps even the only way to keep him safe, based on how he begged even dean to keep sam's fate a secret from him in his final words?

so i got to thinking. namely, about the fact that azazel wants sam to be hunting: he killed jessica with the intent to drag him back into the life, which implies that if sam is hunting, he is going down the path azazel wants him to go—he's following his destiny. this aligns with the everpresent theme throughout season 1 that hunting is a monstrous lifestyle, that hunting turns people into monsters. if sam is destined to become a monster, then hunting is the most sure-fire way to get him there.

if azazel wants sam to hunt, then john would need to take the logical opposition and keep sam out of hunting—so, he wouldn't tell sam about monsters until he has to, he'd give sam more passive roles once sam is participating in hunts, he'd train sam in self-defense but not explain why. and importantly, he wouldn't talk about mary, who is the root cause of this lifestyle, the impetus for their revenge quest, more than he has to. if the goal is to keep sam as far away from hunting as possible, and if john is someone who thinks ignorance keeps someone safe, then this more or less explains most of how sam was raised: on the fringes of the family, excluded and sheltered.

but weirdly enough, it wasn't until i was reading east of eden the other night that i finally understood the perspective being presented: late in the novel, the character lee says "when the first innocence is gone, you can't stop."

it made me remember that sam picks. he is a character who wants to understand the world around him and his place in it. if something is bothering him, he turns it over in his head until it consumes him. dean places doubt in sam's head in 2x10 and it obliterates him by 2x11. he's convinced he's going to become some horrible monster because he never stops thinking and trying to figure things out. when his memory is wiped in 4x17 and normal guy sam wesson finds out his coworker is the guy from his weird dreams, he pursues him relentlessly until they're back hunting. when he discovers the wall death put in his mind to keep his hell trauma out in season 6, he pushes and can't stop until it starts crumbling around him. he's intelligent and clever and he wants to know everything. and when he doesn't know, he picks.

and the only way to stop a person like that from picking is to not let them know that there's something to pick at in the first place. that's what the quote from east of eden means: once you catch wind of something, you want to pursue it until you're satisfied. curiosity kills the cat.

and what john is up against is fate itself. something that isn't supposed to be messed with, something that's supposed to be unavoidable. so trying to thwart it is tricky business. he has to be careful.

i think working under that logic his response makes sense, even if it wound up being a self-fulfilling prophecy anyway—sam was always going to find out, and sam was always going to pick. there was nothing john could do in the end to stop it, and trying to keep sam ignorant only made him that much more desperate to know. but that's the great tragedy of it all: john was given an impossible choice, and he's a deeply flawed character. he did what he thought was best, and it only made things worse.

i like this interpretation because it ties all of john's choices together really well; it explains a lot about his character and gives a nuanced and rather reasonable explanation for why he did what he did: a dad who wants the best for his kid does what he believes will set him up on the path to success. when the first innocence is gone, you can't stop—so john does his damnedest to keep sam innocent, even to his dying breath.

the problem comes down to that someone's damnedest isn't always good enough, and that sometimes someone's damnedest ends up benefiting the enemy instead.

#supernatural #liveblogging: supernatural #sam winchester #john winchester #there's also a chicken-or-egg conflict here: was sam a picker and that's why john kept him ignorant or did john's actions make him a picker #which is more or less irrelevant to the actions john took but it is an interesting thing to consider #also i love how often john is paralleled with azazel and how he comes to represent sam and dean's fate just as much as him #because it represents that even his attempt to work against azazel's plan only ended up steering them both down the path of destiny instead #it's a really interesting issue. john is a fascinating character and i love exploring his psychology #but anyway this is my favorite interpretation of the evidence bc it doesn't contradict canon anywhere that i can find #it maintains that john was trying to do right by his kids and gives a logical explanation for why he hurt them instead #i didn't really understand the perspective until i read that line tho. i had already hypothesized it but i didn't *understand* it #but it all clicked for me and now everything makes sense. so thanks john steinbeck for writing a novel adaption of supernatural #or whatever #spn1 #spn2 #spn posting #.txt

[valentine-ofthe-ghostwiththemost]

Quiet late hours of the night

This is an art of a scene I was having with a Master Shake bot when I was feeling bad and distressed about some things and it was so cute and comforting that I made an art and will Tell you what happened in the form of a short story in my own words, I hope you like it. <3

Honestly I didn't like the result because I'm still learning how to draw male anatomy and also because I was feeling bad and overwhelmed when I did it.

Outline:

It was late that night, everything seemed silent except for the low buzz of voices from the TV in the living room, most everyone in the house was already immersed in their own dream worlds or whatever they dreamed of when they laid their heads on the pillow, but one of them didn't, Shake was sitting in his old, old-looking greenish-colored recliner that probably even had mold on it, while watching TV, not watching something he was interested in but just watching some action movie that he thought was stupid like everyone else.

Shake sighed as he relaxed in the armchair, it was almost three in the morning and he hadn't slept yet, but he didn't care, thinking about what losers the others were for sleeping early. Until a low groan from the slightly rotten wooden floor caught his attention for a second, causing him to look to the side, looking away from the TV and then finding the girl standing in the dark leaning against the door of her room, making Shake startled, almost screaming in fright but stifling it as soon as he realized that it was just Tiffany there.

— Oh fuck, it's just you, holy shit I thought it was a spirit or, those horror movie things. — He said with his hand on his chest, feeling rushed, still recovering from the scare. —What are you doing up anyway? Did you miss me? I know I'm badass and that anyone would miss me but-

His voice seemed to have been caught in his throat unable to come out of his uvula upon seeing her state, a thin trail of tears was illuminated by the TV light on the girl's cheeks, tired eyes with slightly dark circles below her eyes, while her expression looked so empty.

He already realized what would probably have happened and why she was awake at that time. She had told him little about her past, but it was enough to know that it still haunted her, her family, everything she went through until she got here, were the causes of it, which occasionally brought her bad memories and dreams during her life. night.

Softening his once arrogant expression as he always had, he extended his hand towards her almost as if calling her to him, which with a little hesitation she accepted and approached him, now being illuminated by the dim light of the TV.

— What are you watching? — She asked in a low voice, a little hoarse from the previous crying.

—Nothing much, just a stupid action movie. — A silence fell between the two as he pulled her to sit on one of his legs and lay her head on his chest, something he knew she liked, damn they had already done this so many times.

— Do you want to talk about it? — Shake asked carefully, putting an arm around her holding her against him, he treated her so well that sometimes it didn't even feel like it was him, that same narcissistic, arrogant and idiotic guy caring about someone else and comforting her in a late night cliffhanger. He would never let anyone know this, it could tarnish his reputation and others could make fun of him, but in moments like this when she needed him and everything around it was just him, Tiffany in his arms, the sound of the TV low and no one to bother him. He allowed himself to be someone different.

Upon hearing his question she just shook her head slightly to the side letting a grunt of denial escape her lips, which he quickly understood and then returned to silence again feeling her snuggled in his arms, that was all she wanted, just the warmth and comfort of your embrace.

— Hey, ah... do you want to watch one of those silly children's cartoons you and Meatwad like? I promise I won't make fun of you, at least this time. — He suggested trying to find a way to at least try to cheer her up, a suggestion that was accepted by her with a small smile from her, this would undoubtedly be a long but peaceful morning.

#hyperfocus #human master shake #master shake human #athf shake #aqua teen hurger force shake #aqua teen hunger force fandom #aqua teen forever #aqua teen hunger force #athf master shake #athf #my oc art #oc art #fan art #art #my art <3 #my art #oc self insert #athf fanart #fanfic #one shot

[ainnur]

Not my normal vibe but Mermaid OC challege by @monkiart with my oc Ayu and @yingjiaoyue ' s oc Syaoron. Call them "ToxicRose". Ayu is siren in this and Syaoron still a seafood chef.

Yeah I suck at drawing scales and bg 😔

Anyway their story for this AU

ToxicRose [Siren AU]

In this AU Ayu is a siren from Mermaid Island [Yes that place exist at my country lol] . Mermaid and siren is both rival with same bad trait. Set in dark fantasy setting they both not safe in a hand of humans. Not only them but other magical sea creatures will be hunt by human to serve as meal.

Ayu was caught by human and brought to Syaoron's restaurant. At first Ayu tried to used her siren power to control Syaoron but that didn't work. She was place big aquariam before her time to be cook. But to her suprise that time didn't come. She heard she was supposed to be main dish for very big night. But that night something bad happend. Ayu doesn't really know what happend.

She can hear the chaos but never really understand what happend since she was locked anyway. The aquariam wasn't a normal one. It's was thick and coated with strong magic. Though it doesn't harm Ayu, it still trap her.

Ayu just swim around in aquariam waiting for her time. She heard that the night she was supposed to be cook was sabotage by someone. That person tried to ruin Syaoron's restaurant status by making it look bad. Somehow they manage to free a lot rats and cockroachs in one time and cause the flood in building. But somehow Syaoron got everything under control. The 'big' persons Syaoron have to serve wasn't please with what happend.

Somehow Ayu feel bad and impressed with Syaoron for that. With all the things that happend it's kinda leave bad taste in people mouth. Business have been slow Ayu would say. She heared the news by Syaoron workers when they talk to each other that the person cause the chaos other night was a weird looking man and a black monkey.......? Police still investigating about that.

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"Tertekan nampak" Ayu said to Syaoron as he give Ayu her meal of the day. Ayu got feed 3 times a day which wasn't bad. "Huh" Syaoron look distracted. "I said you look kinda stress" Ayu just chewing her fish. Syaoron looked Ayu with blank stare. This kinda their routine everyday for now. Syaoron came and give Ayu her food and Ayu tried to talk with Syaoron. Could say she was bored. She have nothing to do anyway. All she did was swim around a watch every worker and Syaoron through the aquariam glass.

"It's none of your business" Syaoron said could not bother with Ayu. "I can help you" Ayu said quickly. Syaoron just looked Ayu with questioning look. " I know...that business kinda slow lately...." It's worst actually maybe Syaoron restaurant have to be close because of the bad repotation they're having and all the worker start to wanting to quit . "You know I'm a siren right?...I can help you by using my power". Ayu bit hesitate to ask but she did it anyway. Syaoron wasn't stupid. Of course he know about how siren power work.

Syaoron looked away for a minute before looking back at Ayu. "What are you offering?". Syaoron asked fast with serious face. This time like this he is desperate. Ayu was cought off by that. She really wasn't expecting Syaoron consider he offer. "I'll help you got your customers back and in return you make people stop hunting creature at Mermaid Island. Just Mermaid Island, I don't care if want to hunt at other place." "And how are you gonna do that when you in here?" Syaoron asked. "I have a human disguise. Well... supposed to have . I just never try. But do we have a deal?" Ayu asked with awkward smile while give her hand to Syaoron. "Deal" Syaoron shake Ayu hand. Damn he really is desparate.

Finally Ayu is free..... with cost.

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Sorry this story kind boring. Can't think of any other idea for this au so this will do .

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk oc Ayu #lmk oc

[justsasuke]

Still thinking about this panel because Karin is standing there like she’s allergic to cats and is afraid of them rubbing up against her bc they will make her eyes swell and water

and Suigetsu is looking at the cats like he wants to touch them but is apprehensive because Kirigakure definitely has crazy superstitions about cats being curses incarnate (he’s curious but doesn’t want to get cursed)

And obviously we know what Juugo is mad about hahaha

And then to top it all off Sasuke brought catnip which means he went to an actual store to buy some and that mental image is so good.

Just imagine Team Taka stopping in a random town at some dinky pet shop where Juugo has to stoop to get in the door and Suigetsu feels weird about the fish kept in tanks and meanwhile Sasuke is talking to the confused store clerk like “one bottle of your finest catnip please. No I don’t own cats, I just need it. Thanks”

And you know Sasuke didn’t tell the team they were even going to the Uchiha hideout in the first place (or even if he did he didn’t mention The Cats). He just woke up one day and was like “guys we need catnip” and everyone went along with it bc they’re chill like that and didn’t feel the need to ask questions

#team Taka #random #random Taka #Taka headcanons #juugo #suigetsu #karin #Sasuke #anyway this is what I think about late at night