#anyway anon in the time i left you waiting for a response i have done a lot of thinking

[detransdamnation]

Maybe i am in a bit of a blind spot now but stumbling upon your blog and a few of your last answers made me question - if gender roles were nonexistent in society so the sex a person has wouldnt dictate how they are treated - how could someone develop an unease about something truly neutral? I know there are sex differences in humans and thats what we talk about when we speak of transsexual people - the desire to change sex based on a terrifyingly strong discomfort with the one one has. But i am at a loss when it comes to understanding where would that discomfort even start/be influenced by (again as long as the sex you are would make everything neutral) because i always assumed that its that dichotomy of how society views females and males is what later translates into the literal base of where it comes from which is one’s sex. Then - Would the dysphoria grow out of purely desiring something that one doesnt have along the lines the grass is greener on the other side? Getting to experience sex the way it feels like as the other sex (especially in case of not heterosexual people)? Or only An aesthetic pursue? If the only thing that differentiated us in society would be the biological abilities of our bodies and the appearance of it…why do you think would someone still come up with an idea of desiring the other?

After reading especially the last answer it made me think that after all there must be some truly transsexual people who are just born being transsexual. Thats why i decided to send it because i think you established somewhere that you believe there are no trans people who are trans ”just because”, just because they have a brain of the opposite sex trapped in the wrong body etc.

I hope this makes some sense, its not an attack on anything you said more of a big wonder and desire to understand better and i really hope it comes off this way.

You make total sense. Your message doesn't come off as an attack at all.

Anon, I'll be real with you. I reread my answer on whether or not I believe gender abolition would also abolish dysphoria. I did rush in writing that response, greatly so, so the way I phrased my thoughts was particularly subpar; however, as I was trying to tie everything together in this response to you, I realized that the viewpoint I argued didn't really make sense when I held it up to my other beliefs. So, this is a humble admittance that I was, frankly, talking out of my ass. I'm going to use this as an opportunity to reassess my beliefs on this topic and will be re-answering that question once I have done so.

In the meantime, one of the best ways to assess your beliefs is to argue something you disagree with or are unsure of, so I'm going to double down and continue the argument as if I'm completely confident that it's the truth, if only to hopefully better explain where I was coming from when I wrote my previous response. So, proposed argument: Gender abolition will not necessarily abolish sex dysphoria.

First of all, what causes dysphoria and how does gender fit into that framework? I talked about this at length here [AL] and here [AL]. I specifically want to zero in on something I said in the former link:

I [...] do not personally believe that there is a “main reason” on as to why dysphoria may develop in a young person in all cases. I suppose my own “main reason” would be that I fell into the trans community because I never thought seriously about transitioning prior to that time—but the thing is, even if I hadn’t, I would still be dealing with everything else that influenced my getting to this point. [...] If I were to take the trans community out of that equation, it would just be the influence of the trans community missing.

Let’s replace the influence of the trans community with the construct of gender and let’s fast forward to this hypothetical dream society where gender is not an existent thing. We can apply what I said above. We’ve taken away gender and its influences—but we still have everything else. There are numerous factors that could cause a person to develop sex dysphoria; in a genderless society, we have only taken away one. In order to shut down any possibility of dysphoria developing, we would need to get rid of every single possible factor and influence and that is just not a possible feat. Homophobia is a significant factor in many cases of dysphoria and will remain so in a genderless society unless efforts have been previously made to abolish it. No amount of social change will ever eradicate abuse, which can be a trigger in dysphoria in that (especially long-term) abuse victims are prone to redirecting emotional pain to certain aspects of themselves, especially in an effort to regain control, even though they may not “make sense.” It is also impossible for us to eradicate, for instance, natural aspects of our biology that are just plain inconvenient or uncomfortable, which may become objects of fixation (especially in puberty) and cause a person to develop sex dysphoria thereafter. These are just a few examples off of the top of the head—but they and more may all continue on as potential factors because these things, in and of themselves, do not have anything to do with what we have abolished. They do not cease to be potential precursors to mental illness, such as dysphoria, just because we have taken one precursor away.

But why dysphoria? Why would someone develop sex dysphoria in a genderless society if sexes were seen as entirely neutral? Well, let’s turn our attention to another mental illness that is perhaps most reflective of dysphoria (so reflective, in fact, that some people believe them to be one and the same): body dysmorphic disorder. Body dysmorphia is “a mental disorder characterized by the obsessive idea that some aspect of one's own body part or appearance is severely flawed and therefore warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it.” One’s “flaws” cause significant distress, even to the point of seeking out cosmetic procedures in an aim to “fix” them. Anything can be a trigger in body dysmorphia, although some of the most common include facial features, hair, skin complexion, and coincidentally, sex characteristics such as breasts, facial hair, or genitals—which are all inherently neutral features. No physical feature is objectively “wrong” or “bad,” “good” or “right,” “pretty” or “ugly.” They just are.

So, then, we could ask the same question: Why would people with this disorder fixate on these features and develop an unease with them if they are truly neutral? We could argue the societal pressure of beauty ideals, and certainly, that is a factor in a lot of cases—but if body dysmorphia were truly an issue of how certain features are seen and treated, exclusively, then by all means and purposes, people who are considered to be conventionally attractive should not also be seen developing the disorder. Marilyn Monroe could be an example of this: considered one of the most beautiful women in the world in her time and years after and yet (was believed to have) struggled with body dysmorphia until the day that she died.

Things don’t have to be “not neutral” in order for someone to not like them. Things can be neutral and still cause one discomfort. Things can be seen and treated as indifferent by the collective and yet still be hated by the individual. Why do non-dysphoric people have insecurities at all? A lot of the time, they don’t have specific reasons. I don’t feel they need to have reasons. Just like I don’t feel dysphoric people need to have an ultimate reason on as to why we would develop sex dysphoria when we could have fixated on any other physical trait.

I think where people tend to get tripped up in these discussions is, they try to apply what they know to be reasonable to mental illnesses and how they present in order to rationalize, to themselves, what we are feeling and experiencing—but in doing so, I feel we easily lose sight of the fact that, even without mental illness, the brain does not need a logical reason to fixate on something, to hate something, to want to get rid of something. Marilyn Monroe having been an icon of beauty did not change the fact that she didn’t like her face—and my not believing in gender does not change the fact that I don’t like my sex and desire to be the opposite. Marilyn continued to feel the way she did because she had body dysmorphic disorder. I continue to feel the way I do because I have dysphoria. Both disorders alter how we perceive reality and cause us to believe things about ourselves that are not objectively true. We desire what we do not have because that is a symptom of the inherently nonsensical disorders that we have. That is all there is to it. That is our “why.”

And I am content just leaving it at that. It is my own personal stance that we cannot chase the logistics behind something that is not logical to begin with. At the end of the day, there is no ultimate reason for mental illness. Mental illness does not need to make sense. Mental illness only needs humanity. It will continue to exist no matter how humanity progresses.

So, under this argument, there are a few different points to be had, main ones being that gender abolition will not necessarily abolish sex dysphoria because gender and sex are not one and the same; to take away gender is to take away only one possible factor in one’s dysphoria; and although outside factors can (and do) influence dysphoria and would continue to do so in a genderless society on account of the previous two points, there’s ultimately no “reason” on as to why dysphoric people would continue to cling on to their sex in this society where the two sexes are seen and treated as the exact same—simply because dysphoria, being a mental illness, does not exist on a plane that is rational.

Considering these viewpoints and assuming that they all coexist in this genderless society, then, it may be easy to conclude, like you did, that some people are just born transgender. I do understand how you may have come to that conclusion after reading my response and even I, looking back, feel like that is what I insinuated, even though I did not mean to and was not coming from that position. To clarify, as I have stated before, I do not believe in the idea of “true trans,” and seeing as this is a belief that I actually hold very true to and have for a long time, I’d like to explain why. This is no longer me proposing an argument that I am merely “considering.” This is me demonstrating what I believe.

There are a few different things to consider in the statement, “People are born transgender,” starting with the implications of what it means to be transgender and specifically the dysphoric aspect of it. To suggest that someone could be born transgender is also to insinuate that someone could be born dysphoric, that someone could be born already set to hate their bodies as they grow older.

Of course, we could be less technical here. You may not be born with mental illness in the literal sense—but you can develop mental illness extremely early on in life. So, under the argument that dysphoria is a mental illness, dysphoria can develop from a very young age, and therefore the child, express (what may be interpreted as) a transgender identity. Okay, fair enough. What I have never received closure on is, if a young child exhibits hatred of any other part of their body for any other reason, it is universally considered abnormal, a red flag, something to treat—but as soon as gender or sex comes into the picture, this self-hatred becomes something to validate.

Let’s say that a young child tells you that they do not like their body. Without any other context, what would your first reaction be? Chances are, you would assume that someone or something in this child’s life has taught or influenced them to think this way, even if only inadvertently, and hopefully, you would rush to tell this child that there is nothing wrong with their body, that they are perfect just the way they are. But let’s say, after probing a little further, this young child tells you that they don’t “feel like” their sex, or that they want to be the opposite (in little kid terms). Would you then change your tune and decide that they were “born that way,” that they hate their body because they were just meant to be the opposite sex instead? If your answer is yes, or your no follows hesitancy, I have to wonder what, specifically, would change your mind. What is it about dysphoria that is so different from any other form of self-hatred? Moreover, what implications do you think there are in a child telling someone they presumably trust that they are uncomfortable in their body—and that trusted adult telling them that they are uncomfortable in their body because they were, indeed, born “wrong?”

This leads to an essential question that we, ironically, so often overlook. We have a dysphoric child in front of us. What would make them transgender? The most likely definition of a trans person that everyone could agree on would be someone who is dysphoric, likely someone who has been dysphoric since early childhood—but even that is not a perfect or even accurate definition because not all people with dysphoria go on to transition, not even people with long-term or “treatment-resistant” dysphoria. If dysphoria does not make a transgender person, what does?

Let’s say we have one-thousand dysphoric people in front of us and one person in the group—say, the young child in this analogy, now an adult—is transgender. The only thing that distinguishes this person from the rest of the group is the very act of transition. If this person had never transitioned, there would be no difference between them and the rest of the group. We would have a solid group of cisgender dysphoric people. The transgender person is distinguished only through action, self-identity and personal experience in attempts to accommodate that self-identity. “Brain sex” has been proven to be a myth, so we know there are no biological differences to point to them having “needed” to transition—and even under the possibility that there do exist biological markers in dysphoria that we have not discovered yet, that does not prove that people can be born transgender. At most, these markers could stand as predispositions, similar to how people can be carriers for certain diseases or have “bad genes” that make them more likely to suffer from certain ailments—but none of these things equate to destiny, and in fact, in the case of dysphoria, would only prove that a supportive environment could prevent it—and transgender identity—from coming into the picture at all.

The suggestion that some people are just “made” to go through with any action, including transition, is an insinuation of fate—and I do not believe in fate. I believe in free will to some extent, although that would open us up to the more philosophical question of whether free will is truly free, seeing as we are reflections of our environment and cannot completely separate ourselves from it. In either case, we have seen and established that we can both influence one to develop dysphoria, as well as prevent one from developing dysphoria, all depending on how we, as a society, treat them—and if the people around us can help to prevent dysphoria from becoming an issue entirely, thereby circumventing the desire to transition at all, it is impossible for transgender identity to be truly innate to any one person.

In summary and in closing, mental illness, including dysphoria, is encouraged by—and sometimes even brought on by—our surrounding environment in almost all cases. Environments naturally change overtime, and in the process, certain factors in mental illness may become less common or even disappear entirely; however, just because one goes away does not mean all others disappear. One of many of our possible futures as a society is one without gender, and unsurprisingly, this would get rid of gender as a trigger in dysphoria—but so long as no other factors have been dismantled in the process, they will continue on as potential influences in its development, even in this genderless society. It then may be easy to conclude that some people are just “born” transgender, especially seeing as how the development of sex dysphoria in a genderless society would be even more random (comparatively to that of a gendered one)—but that conclusion, that “Some people are just born that way,” would not be reached with any other mental illness, and beyond that, does not give us, the society, enough credit or responsibility. The fact that there are trans people who barely even remember not being trans, such as myself, stand not as proof that we are “true transsexuals” but as proof that we live in a society that is hostile to multiple vulnerable populations and it is up to us to change that. Gender abolition will not solve all of these problems and it may not even get rid of sex dysphoria entirely—but it is essential and a great place to start, which is why I continue to stand for it, even despite it not being a perfect fix.

I hope this gave you a little more to think on.

#i hope this didn't come off too accusatory or preachy #i tend to argue with myself when i write and i can never tell if i'd come off as harsh to someone else #because for all i'm concerned i'm looking at my normal train of thought lmao #anyway anon in the time i left you waiting for a response i have done a lot of thinking #and i have so many more thoughts on this topic than even i previously assumed #my beliefs have already actually rather significantly changed since my previous post #at least in that i am now looking at the situation with a lot more nuance that i had neglected to consider at the time #but hopefully the argument i proposed here paints a bit of a better picture on where i was coming from when i had originally written it #it's far from perfect but then again nothing is perfect to me so i'll just aim for... good enough. #and on another completely unrelated note i have no idea which anon this is because all of mine type the same #someone needs to take on a more distinctive typing style so i can tell who's who lmao #submission #answered #gender critical #writing #text #my post

[junkissed]

best boyfriend ever

member — seungkwan x gn reader genre — fluff word count — 750 synopsis — seungkwan takes care of you when you're sick warnings — mentions of nausea/other sick things (not super descriptive), seungkwan is the cutest and most caring boyfriend notes — requested by 🧸 anon — hope you feel better soon!!

one reblog = one lime gatorade seungkwan will give you

“baby, you have to take your temperature. please?”

you’re laying in bed, laptop propped up on the side table and playing the most recent episode of the show you’re watching. the only good thing about being sick is that even though you’re in a constant state of aches and pains, at least you can use the time to catch up on your favorite series.

despite being nauseous and dizzy 24/7, the downtime is actually a nice break from your responsibilities. but that doesn’t stop you from trying anyway; what’s even worse than feeling sick, is feeling unproductive.

you had almost made it to work today, but seungkwan managed to catch you before you could walk out the door, bundled up in layers and layers of coats and jackets but not wearing any shoes.

he just gently steered you back into bed, cooing about how you’d freeze and make yourself even sicker and that your boss could find somebody to cover for you for another day.

“i don’t want to, kwannie,” you sniffle through a stuffy nose. “it’s not like the fever is gonna go down anytime soon.”

he sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. “yes, but we still have to make sure it doesn’t go up. i don’t wanna have to take you to the hospital.”

“you wouldn’t even take me to the hospital? that’s so mean. worst boyfriend ever.”

“if you weren’t so sick i might actually be offended,” he huffs, holding out the thermometer to you. “now will you open up for me please? at least let me do it for you. just sixty seconds, that’s all i need. then i’ll bring you more gatorade, how about that?”

“mm, gatorade,” you murmur, more to yourself than to him. with a lot of effort you roll onto your other side so you can face him. “i thought i drank the last one yesterday, though?”

“i bought more.”

“the lime flavor i like?”

“mhm. got the big pack, too.”

“yay!” you say with a weak smile. you give in and open your mouth for him, the promise of something yummy to drink enough to bribe you into letting him take your temperature.

he carefully sticks the tip of the thermometer under your tongue, holding it in place for you. you let your eyes fall shut while you wait, suddenly growing tired. and before you know it the little plastic stick in your mouth is beeping, signaling that it’s done.

you slowly pry your eyes open, eyes fixed on seungkwan’s face as he checks the display. sometimes you forget how pretty he is, and it’s not the first time he’s caught you staring for longer than you should. his soft skin seems to glow, even despite the curtains being closed to block out the sunlight because it gives you a headache.

“only 100.8°,” he says, breaking your trance as he turns the thermometer around to show you. “lucky you, no hospital for you today.”

you hum in response and close your eyes again, letting your head fall back against the pillows.

now it’s seungkwan’s turn to watch you, gently brushing away the hair that’s fallen across your face. “are you getting tired, baby?”

you sigh, coughing a little. “maybe.”

he smiles fondly, but you don’t see it with your eyes closed. “alright. call me when you wake up again, okay, sweetheart? i’ll make you some soup when you get hungry.”

you mumble again and settle into bed as seungkwan fixes the sheets around you, smoothing down the blankets and picking up the extra pillow that had fallen onto the floor. finally he shuts your laptop for you, pausing your episode for later so you don’t miss anything, because he knows you’d be upset if you lost your place and had to go back and find where you left off.

he leans down and presses a little kiss to your forehead, watching your eyelashes flutter for a moment before he stands up and starts to walk away.

“seungkwan?” you call out softly, and he stops immediately, turning around.

“yeah?”

there’s a pause. “i love you.”

“i love you, too,” he replies, the smile on his face growing.

“i’m sorry i said you were the worst boyfriend ever. i didn’t mean it. you’re the best boyfriend ever.”

he shakes his head, already knowing you didn’t mean it and trying his best not to laugh at your sweet apology. “thank you, sweetheart. i love you, too,” he repeats.

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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it lets me know this is something people want to see more of and it helps a ton with being motivated to write. thanks for reading!!

#🌃 : june.writes #k-labels #seungkwan fluff #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #seungkwan imagine #seungkwan scenarios #seungkwan fic #seungkwan fanfic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #boo seungkwan #seungkwan x you #seungkwan #seungkwan x reader #svt imagines #svt fanfic #svt x reader #svt seungkwan #m: seungkwan #g: seventeen #c: fluff

[chiiyuuvv]

BESTIEEE

I FINALLY PASSED MY HISTORY EXAM💃💃💃💃

I failed this exam A LOT OMG

BUT guess what...I PASSED IT WITH 100/100

Girl I can't believe it🥹🥹

SAUR how do you think xikers will react to you passing an exam/important test that you were working on for a long time/stressing over a lot?

You can write it whenever you can cuz I think your requests are closed, BUT I CAN WAIT. I want YOUR thoughts because you are the best writer on this app frfr. So take your time

Anyways take care bestie, don't skip your meals, love youu🤍

-🌵 anon<3

• PAIRING — bf!xikers x gn!reader

• GENRE — proud xikerss :DD, slight kissing, almost wrote a whole fic for hunter-

• WORD COUNT — 782

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — sorry this is so late!! And good job on your tests :O

• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @the-lemon-boy , @yuniniverse

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

MINJAE ☆

Hes not even surprised atp, he knows how smart you are

But boy does he pretend to be shocked, his hand covering his mouth as he takes in another gasp

But his other hand is hiding behind his back

You seem to notice and the only thing he can do is giggle, revealing an neatly folded box

Turns out there was a very pretty necklace inside, minjae spinning you around to put it on you, whispering in your ear how pretty you look and how proud he is ♡

JUNMIN ☆

Makes sure you do nothing for the rest of the week

So what if its monday?? He'll do anything for his precious baby since you worked so hardd

Will make your meals and clean the kitchen, your room, your study area

Even gives you a bath

And he wont stop either, that is, if you want cuddles ♡

SUMIN ☆

Sumin knew how stressed out you'd get with your exams so he prepared you a little smth!!

(And also some tissues)

Finally uncovering your eyes, you find a self portrait of yourself studying

And lemme just say how beautiful you look

The lines sketched with such care and patients, now you know why sumin had been smiling so much lately ♡

JINSIK ☆

I think this calls for pizza!! 🗣🗣‼‼

Also makes sure you do nothing. All you gotta do is just there and look pretty and that was already took no effort

Also a movie night because why not, and you've been meaning to catch up on some movies, also why not??

His arm wrapped your shoulder at all times, and will whine if you try to move around

Plus random cheek kisses, yeah, thats about it ♡

HYUNWOO ☆

Decides to buy tickets last minute and takes you to the fair!!

Lots of hand holding and pda, wiping some off the cinnamon off of your lips caused by your churros

Will attempt to get you those huge teddy bears, but sulks when he cant so you just gotta give him some kisses

Also the ferris wheel!!

Makes sure youre at the tippy top then he processed to tell you how proud his is and how special you mean to him, sealing it with a kiss ♡

JUNGHOON ☆

Yall know junghoon isnt that big on physical affection

But when he hears the news hes a changed man

His eyes shot open and his hands moving faster than his brain, picking you up and spinning you around when he gives you the biggest kiss on your cheek

Wait whaat??

Wdym he did that no he didnt stop being so delusional he didnt kiss your cheek and secretly enjoyed it but not enjoying your teasings rn shut up 🙄 ♡

SEEUN ☆

"Really?! I thought you failed!!"

His response earned him a huge punch

But hes only joking, ruffling your hair before dialing his phone, calling everyone and their mom to tell the news

Man does more than just spill the tea, he makes it from scratch

Hes overally dramatic when he tells your adventure, saying how you had to cross 7 seas just to find the right answer.. but you love him anyways 🤷‍♀️ ♡

YUJUN ☆

Hes wants to hear all about it, so spill the tea 😠😠

Another one to think you taking a test was so dramatic, having to slay a dragon just to get the right answer to a question

And boy is he listening!! (He listens to you more than minjae)

He'd be so awestruck when youre done, his jaw lefted open and hes looking at you with sparkly eyes

Hes so proud of you too :(( ♡

HUNTER ☆

Also think hes like minjae with the gift giving, pulling out this beautiful bracelet he bought months ahead of time because he knew you'd do well

But unlike minjae, he takes you out to dinner!!

Yes, a big, fancy dinner. And hes paying for it all by himself <3

Hunters prince agenda omgomg

No bc he'd drop down on his knees to kiss the back of your hand, making sure to look up at you in the process, opens every. Since. Door in sight and also pushes you into your chair. Andd he also leans against the table to wipe something off the corner of your lips, giggling to himself bc youre just so adorable. i could write a whole fic honestly... ♡

YECHAN ☆

You passed your exam? Give him a hug

You got an A?? Give him a hug

You thought you were going to fail? Frowns at you, before hugging you tightly

Spends the rest of the day giving you so much love, youre only allowed to be in his arms

And is the boy so soft??? The most gentle hes ever been ♡

#xikers #kpop #xikers fluff #xikers drabbles #xikers imagines #xikers fanfic #xikers fanfiction #xikers au #🌵 anon ♡ #minjae xikers #xikers minjae #junmin xikers #xikers junmin #sumin xikers #xikers sumin #jinsik xikers #xikers jinsik #hyunwoo xikers #xikers hyunwoo #xikers junghoon #junghoon xikers #seeun xikers #xikers seeun #xikers yujun #yujun xikers #hunter xikers #xikers hunter #yechan xikers #xikers yechan #xikers headcanons

[prince-liest]

Your last 666 series installment is the best thing that happened to me. Its full of gore, somehow fluffy and wait-.. do I finally see some FRICKING COMUNICATION between the two idiots!?!?!

Ngl, Vox's 'Alastor not being able to love' statement hurt my soul. Your writing is brilliant and and let's just see what ending ya wro-..O MA LORD IS THAT VAL'S LOVE POTION!?!?!?!?

Now I need to know what's next!!!! And VOX I SWEAR IF U USE THIS SITUATION IN ANY WAY IM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE.

This series is a blast♡ love it!♡ makes me weirdly passionate and excited hah!

Some communication, and some communication failure, hahaha. They're going to be talking a lot more in the next one, actually, because I meant to write some NSFW and they had to go and attempt a healthy conversation instead. What can you do.

Thank you so much, I'm delighted that you're enjoying! :D

And: Way more anon asks about the latest 666 getting answered under the cut! <3 I combined a bunch from the last couple of days.

prince, I'm going insane over the latest fic. so we know from Alastor's inner monologue that he knows the roofie was an accident, but considering the super stressful situation, the fact that Vox was the one to ask for a kiss and the fact that Alastor accused him of wanting instead of loving him not a few minutes ago…. makes me wonder if Vox might not be at least a little worred that Alastor might think it was on purpose <3 gonna be rotating this in my head for the foreseeable future - ✨

I am so glad that these things are on y'all's minds, hahaha. Because you can bet they are on mine. >:D And THANK YOU, very pleased to be dragging everyone down into insanity with me.

“Should I stitch together the scars your teeth left in me in a mirror of my own signature on your body.” Fucking. POETRY. 🐈‍⬛

I am always so happy when I write shit like this and instead of everyone pointing at me and going, "Look, what an EDGELORD!" the response is you people being VERY nice and leaning into the feelsy fun! 💛

holy moly ??? i love the new 666 addition aaaah 😭🙏 the trials and tribulations of feeling scorned and ghosted by a loser who confessed his love to you and the next time you see him he’s holding your LITERAL heart in his hands by alastor ! OMFG this was too good esp the part where vox is like “bro why do YOU CARE ?? i thought you didn’t love me huh?” and alastor is like well. maybe i.do. 😐 LIKE CMONN this really played out like some soap drama and i loved the neat details on resuscitative thoroctomy (learned a new word too so double bonus) the fact vel was on the line w her and val’s apparent surgeon for val’a little ‘incidents ??? GOLDEN I SAYY hope we see more of ur oc … 🫣🫣 btw ofc vox would love to an end an argument with a kiss OF FUCKING COURSE HE WOULD 😭 thank u sm for this chapter princeliest my dear <3 hope life is treating u well too !! -🦌

Vox is ahead of Alastor in terms of effective in-the-moment conflict resolution, but goddamn if he isn't fucked up in his own fun little ways. They're so not done with most of these issues, but at least they're on they're way to maybe be able to have a real conversation about them!

You know. If they chose to do that kind thing. Instead of whatever they will probably do instead.

Anyway, THANK YOU!! I had a great deal of fun writing this chapter and digging into some of the issues that have been slowly collecting underneath the surface of kinky radiostatic, so I'm happy you guys are enjoying as well!! :D

AS FOR MY OC... I WILL POST ABOUT THEM SOON. I LOVE THEM A LOT AND IT EXCITES ME THAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW MORE OF THEM. Tysm for asking Q^Q

Just read the new addition to the 666 verse, and inside of me are two wolves: The first is saying: Immaculate, artistry of the highest form. We finally get Alastor’s own confrontation with his vulnerability and him trying to figure out what exactly the relationship with Vox means to him. Cannot wait for how this all is going to develop. The other part of me: THE BREADCRUMBS WORKED THE MUSE IS WRITING!!! Followed by this image (since tumblr won’t let me attach it while being anonymous) https://i.redd.it/hx2shk642vs71.jpg -🕊️

LMAO THAT PIC. Amazing, flawless, thank you. The breadcrumbs DEFINITELY worked, please keep feeding. Digging into Alastor's shit is bringing me life and I'm happy to share it, hahaha. We're swinging even harder on the introspection in the next one!

As a sucker for medical gore and aroace angst, I lack the words to express my love and appreciation for your most recent installment of 666, but your writing of radiostatic's dynamic was captivating and proved to be such a lovely read as always! I loved that you touched on Alastor's relationships with the women around him as that has always been such an interesting aspect of his character to me! I never really put much thought into how Vox's apparent avoidance of Alastor in the show could mirror Alastor's disappearance, and now it will Not leave my mind. My heart hurts for these two dorks, super looking forward to chapter 2!

"Medical gore and aroace angst" should be the title of my memoir. Honestly, this series has ended up a lot more edgy-bloody than I expected it to, since I usually tend to prefer to portray my whump/angst/violence/etc in a much more roundabout way, but it's actually kinda tipped over into, like... part of the point is how banal it is, how beside the point. The upsetting heavy-hitting bits aren't the blood, they're everything else that goes on around it. Anyway, thank you so much! <3 I think your heart will find some relief in chapter two, haha, I hope you enjoy!!

Meanwhile alastor, completely convinced that there’s no situation where vox actually loves him and is happy with the way things are—either vox wants more and is going to start asking for more, or he doesn’t actually love him and just wants to have sex with him and thus either way he is a Liar. They’re so fucking bad at this. No one is capable of being the adult here. I think they need an auspitice.

It's really funny that you said that, because that is kind of exactly the role that [spoiler] ends up playing, though in a more roundabout way, hahaha. They certainly need someone to, like, get them to be having the same conversation with each other instead of two parallel ones. I think the fun thing about writing Alastor reacting to his own feelings is just how much his reaction can change based on how things are framed for him, and it leaves a lot of wiggle room for how differently I've ended up writing him reacting to the season 1 finale in 666 vs in Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy.

But, god, you really nailed the description of what Alastor is feeling. <3

Vox in the latest 666, my ENTIRE HEART. Literally nothing about how he read the situation was a bad take or a leap to conclusions, but alastor constantly says the opposite of what he means and refuses to admit vulnerability or friendship and what the hell else was vox meant to do with that, of course he backed off, they need to have this talk so badly

YES, PRECISELY! Like, I hope it came through that really neither of them was completely crazy to react the way they did! It's a result of how much of their communication has been nonverbal, implied, and talking around things - they'd been doing so well up until this point, but there's only so far that can take you before you start thinking that you're on the same page when really you're reading two completely different books! Thank you sm! <3

‘But I am capable,” Alastor says gently. “I love you very much.” Vox gapes up at him. “...I. Fuck you.” His voice is tight, strained. “I don’t fucking believe you.” Alastor feels his smile thin. “Well. That’s just dandy, then, isn’t it?”’ I AM NOT OK GOING FUCKING FERAL

Probably one of my favorite lines to write, ehehehe. THANK YOU ANONNNN <3 It's kinda interesting to see how differently some people read this. Some folks thought Alastor was saying it to hurt Vox (which is how Vox read it). Some folks thought it was true (how Alastor intended it). Some folks thought Alastor was trying to fit into the mold that he thought Vox wanted from him (how I intended it). All of them make sense as readings! >:)

#ask #personal #Anonymous #black cat anon #sparkle anon #deer anon #dove anon #t #long post #tumblr if you break the cut on this one I'm gonna fuckin cry #answering 9 asks in one post here

[lcvernat]

Smile for Me | Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Request: hello! it’s my first time requesting on your blog.. is it okay if I ask for nat with reader who hides their smile because their insecure of how it looks.

feel free to take your time writing this, I don’t mind waiting :)))

thank you, have a great day!! <3

Word Count: 1.4k

Content Warnings: fluff, talks of being insecure, like two swear words, probably bad writing cause i am a bit rusty

A/N: thank you for requesting anon! i am so, so sorry this took so long but i hope you like it <3 this might not be my best work because i am very rusty and haven't wrote anything in a bit but i hope you enjoy it either way

Smiling was natural, everyone done it, and usually no one really thought about it whilst they were doing it. You just lived in the moment, smiling at something that had brought you joy. It was whimsical, in a way. But it wasn't like that to you, though. No, it was actually the one thing you tried to avoid the most. Even in situations when you were at your most happiest, ranging from getting top grades in your exams to the day Natasha had asked you out on a date, a smile was rarely exchanged in those moments, or it was hidden behind your hand.

It was hard when something so simple was the root of your insecurities. Every time you caught yourself smiling, you covered your smile with your hand. It was an instinct at this point. Either that, or you would just avoid smiling altogether. It wasn’t as if you were trying to keep up some mysterious persona - you just really, really hated your smile. A lot.

Tiny remarks in middle school had started it. Words said by children that shouldn’t be that serious because you were all kids instead stuck with you for your entire life. Sticks and stones do break your bones, but words will still hurt. They still cause bleeding wounds, but because you can’t see them, society deems them unimportant. Which is why you’ve not told anyone about your insecurity, you just let them poke fun, because the logical part of you knows that it’s a stupid thing to be insecure about, but you can’t help it.

Natasha, of course, had noticed. But she’s never pried, thankfully. She understands having secrets that you keep under lock and key. She has them too. It’s a bit hard not to notice when someone hardly smiles, but somehow she notices that there’s something more to it. Having a spy as a girlfriend, one who is the best spy in the world no doubt, means that any of your secrets aren’t really secrets. You simultaneously love and hate it.

“Why do you never smile?”

“Why do you always pry into people’s business? And I do smile.”

Tony shrugs halfheartedly at your jab, a tiny smirk on his face as he takes a sip of his drink. You were thrown off guard by his unprompted question, not expecting it to happen when you were just sat eating dinner with the rest of the team. The rest of the team who had, unfortunately, went silent after the words left Tony’s mouth.

You took an awkward bite of your food, trying to focus on the taste instead of the eyes boring into your soul.

“Leave them alone,” Natasha snaps, but there’s no actual bite behind it yet.

“Hey now,” Tony raises a hand placatingly, “I’m not trying to be nosey, not at all. Well, actually, I kind of am, but for good reason. They rarely smile! Have you not noticed? And if they do, I always catch them covering their mouth! Have they ever fully smiled around you, Romanoff?” - The only response he gets is a glare - “No? Christ, they’re dating you! Don’t you think it’s a bit odd? I-”

You cut him off, “Just finish your food, Stark.”

Tony, seemingly unable to realize when you’re seriously not in the mood continues on undeterred, “Listen, I get if you’re trying to be all tough and that. But you can still smile! You’re still pretty intimidating anyway. To the newbies, obviously. Not me.”

“I just don’t smile that often, Stark. Got a problem with that?” You get out through gritted teeth, setting your knife and fork down on your half-eaten plate. You aren’t very hungry anymore. The ravaging appetite you felt before dinner had quickly dissipated, and it wasn’t because you were full.

Natasha sends you a concerned glance but you ignore it. You ignore everyone’s glances. For superheroes, they were horrifically bad at pretending they weren't staring at you.

“Oh, come on,” Tony leans back in his chair, clearly exasperated, “unless you look incredibly hideous, your teeth are falling out or you have a shit ton of cavities, which I doubt, I don’t get why you hardly smile! Just smile for us this once, and don't cover it!" He urged you on, and it was your final straw.

You abruptly stood up from the table, your chair making a harsh sound across the floor as it was pushed back. Once again ignoring Natasha's glance, you walk as fast as you can out of the room and making a beeline towards your shared room with Nat. You know she'll probably follow you soon after, but you'd take a minute alone if you could.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you ran your hands across your face and let out a groan. You were being so stupid. Tony was right. It's not a big deal at all, you're the one making it a big deal. All over a couple comments a few kids carelessly threw your way years ago in middle school. Insecurities were so stupid, why couldn't you just stop being insecure? You were an Avenger, for Christ's sake, and the one thing that defeats you is your own goddamn smile.

After a couple of minutes had passed, there was a knock on the door. Unsurprisingly, Nat's voice filtered through, "Y/N? Can I come in?" Somehow, she managed to hear your barely coherent mumble of a response, and the door gently opened seconds later.

"Don't listen to Tony," the redhead spoke softly, "he doesn't know when to stop."

You let out a mirthless chuckle, "Yeah, I know."

Natasha didn't reply, instead slowly walking over to you and kneeling in front of you. You catch her eye before quickly glancing away.

"Look at me,"

You do, and she reaches out to take ahold of your hands that were previously lying limp in your lap, "Why do you always cover your beautiful smile?" It was a gentle question, the redhead treading lightly on what she knows is a sensitive topic for you.

"Because it's not beautiful," your voice is small. It's the first time you've ever actually spoken about your insecurity out loud.

"I bet it is. What makes you think it isn't?"

"People were saying shit 'bout it in middle school. Words hurt, you know." It sounded pathetic, you knew it did. You half expected Natasha to laugh at you, and anyone else probably would, because you were a grown adult, but of course Natasha didn't laugh. She never would.

"Well," she lets go of one of your hands to reach out and cup your cheek, her thumb brushing over your bottom lip, "those people can go fuck themselves."

A surprised giggle leaves you at the bluntness of her tone. She smirks before continuing, "My angel is gorgeous, and I know their smile is just as beautiful. Come on, you wanna let me see it? Smile for me."

Despite her words, a small part of you still didn't want to smile in front of her. Years of covering it and hiding it was obviously engrained into you, no matter how hard you wanted to try and stop it. So, you shake your head.

"Well," Natasha sighs, "I guess I'll just have to subject you to a month of Steve's cooking. Hopefully you won't die, but if you do, I'll make sure to make your funeral the best funeral ever."

That made you laugh then, and a smile made its way onto your face. The hand that Natasha wasn't holding instinctively raised to cover it, but the spy grabbed ahold of it before you could.

"See?" Natasha smiles then too, "beautiful."

That makes you smile more, and you don't move to cover it this time. You fight the insecurities that worm its way into your thoughts, you were done being insecure about your smile. You were fed up of hiding it. Natasha plants a soft kiss on your cheek then, before whispering into your ear, "If you gave me the names of those people..."

You let out a shocked laugh, hitting her arm playfully. "No. Murder is bad."

"I never said I would murder them!" She gasps, "Just a nice little talk. That's all."

Shaking your head in amusement, you pull Natasha into a hug, "I love you."

"I love you too."

God, what you would do for this woman. You would always smile for her from this day forward. No more hiding it, especially not from Natasha.

tags: @sheneonromanoff @olicity-boo @r4nd0mgir1 @tigerlillyruiz @dj-bynum3718 @lovelyy-moonlight

dm me, send me an ask or reply to be added to my taglist!

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff fanfiction #black widow fanfiction #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow imagine #natasha fanfic #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff fluff #black widow fluff #black widow x you

[thecontumacious]

halloooo sandrine~! it's me cookie anon ✨

oh wait, is it alright if i call you by your name? :0

anyway,, i kinda have an idea (a bit sad at the start but it has a happy resolution).

• you can totally skip this if you don't feel like doing it •

i was thinking if it'd be alright to request for shu this time because i learned that he was supposed to be part of the offline collab but wasn't able to due to conflicting schedules... ; - ;

so like, what if since he wasn't able to meet up with nijimilo...y/n surprises him with an offline collab of their own instead so he won't feel sad/lonely/left out ; w ;

no sad shubert, only happi shubert bc shu deserves all the happiness in the world ♡

(aka: cookie anon shu brainrot hours lmao)

thank you as always o7

- cookie anon 🍪✨

(Not) Alone

pairing: Shu Yamino x Streamer!GN!reader a/n: yes u may call me sandrine hehe ALSO FIRST TIME I READ THIS I JUST KNEW THIS AWE MAN POOR SHU :( i hope he can finally have some time to go to an offcollab with everyone as luxiem! while we wait for that, here's something to fill in that gap ;)

warning ahead: this is 4.3k words just so you know that this is not a quick read ^^

reminder that all my work and others in the fandom are purely fiction and intended to entertain, not to be projected irl. 

Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN]: sorry guys i can't come this time, schedules and all that :/ Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: aweee that sucks a lot Mysta Rias [NIJISANJI EN]: NOOO BROTHER Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: luca can't come and shu too? Ike Eveland [NIJISANJI EN]: ahhh that's such a shame Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: i'm sorry to hear that you guys:(

and you knew from how shu had been talking to you privately how excited he was to see if he could fit himself between his schedules to meet up with everyone as nina had planned

you of course couldn't come just yet, but with shu being part of luxiem, it was really crucial that he came

the moment he came for his daily discord call with you that day, you can tell from his deflated voice that he was so disappointed

you sigh, leaning a bit closer to the mic, "it's okay, shu. next time, alright? there will definitely be a time where you can finally go. all as one team as luxiem!"

he chuckles, but the joy supposedly associated with the gesture was very faint. seemed like the sorcerer wasn't in his right spirits.

"i hope so. i was really looking forward to it too," shu mumbles

"hey come on, don't be so down. if you're so down, everyone else will be too. look at the bright side, shu! the longer they wait, the more exciting it'll become when you actually do come, right?" you attempt, however once more, that comes fruitless

shu sighs in response. "i guess so, and thank you, y/n, for trying to cheer me up. but i think i just... i need some time. that okay with you?"

hearing his breaking heart made your own shatter to pieces. shu was such a kind and talented person, there's nothing in this world he didn't deserve

at least that's what your biased heart would say

you nod, "mhm, totally fine. you go get some rest and try to take your mind off of it, alright?"

shu bids you goodbye for the day and you're left to your own devices, forced to get back to work and get some stream related things done

continuation utc!

it's pretty obvious how you and shu met

being under the same v-tuber brand, it was easy to meet up with yamino and because of your job, you guys met up often and there was no shortage of you collabing together on each other's channels

the fandom adores you two so much and luxiem loved your company, so it was as if written by fate that you two would connect

initially, you thought shu yamino was pretty cool. and he is!

but then it wasn't just a first impression thing. it was for all the impressions after.

he was humorous, intelligent and witty, absolutely kind and there are times where you just feel like putting your hands on the screen to pinch his cheeks from how cute he is

especially the times where he gets flustered or teased by the chat

did i mention you're the only one who lets you call him nerd without getting mad?

chat usually (jokingly) attacks you for getting that kind of privilege, but it becomes fuel to their fire of adoring you two

"it's just a crush. he's a coworker," you told yourself, catching yourself daydreaming about shu the nth time that week.

but again, like how the stars had scribbled it for you on the pages of your fate, they don't plan on letting you just to have a crush on the sorcerer

as times passes by, more frequent calls, more collabs, you can't help but just ache when shu excuses himself for the day, wishing you goodbye

though most times you dismiss him after that, you'd be lying if you said you wish you could stop him from disconnecting

when days were bad, you find yourself calling out to shu and it doesn't help that he immediately comes to your side without fail

shu became a safe space for you, one you didn't dare let go

a working wifi connection and a device was literally the only way to keep you interacting with shu

would anything change if you were physically there with shu...?

you hoped it would

what would it be like to hold his hand? did he have soft hands or more calloused? probably the former...

you slap yourself on the head, "stop it, y/n. he's your friend and co worker. how could you think like this?"

lady fate says otherwise as she keeps bringing you and shu together.

and today, she's just done it as nina went to private message you.

Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: hey y/n! Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: hey ninaa what's up? Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: i couldn't help but think Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: what if you and shu did an offcollab together? like just you two?

you wished you could kiss nina for that brilliant idea

Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: i thought it was pretty unfair that shu couldn't come and since you and shu are pretty close, i thought i'd pitch that idea in with you if you aren't too bothered by it Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: NINA LEMME KISS YOU THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA! Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: i have a bit of work left to do but once that's done, i can probably schedule a bit of time with shu!! Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: oh that's great!! i'm so glad to hear that >w<

you smile upon the thought of meeting up with shu yamino in real life. a dream wasn't it? you imagine all the things you could do with him

probably a lot of streaming together obviously, trying new things, showing each other what they have in your local regions

but then you had a thought

shu was incredibly sad after he said goodbye to you today

what if

you met up with him as a surprise?

you go back onto discord, texting nina

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: ninaur Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: what's up honey Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: do u think management has shu's address? Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: i think so yeah, why? why not just ask him? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: i plan to make it a surprise actually Nina Kosaka [NIJISANJI EN]: OMG OMG OMG THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA Y/NNNNN GO FOR IT MANAGEMENT HAS IT I THINK GOGOGO ASK

with nina's support, you immediately go contact management and indeed they did have his address. after hearing your request and reason behind it, they are more than happy to give it you and even wished you good luck

after that, you decided to pretty much speedrun your work while planning up your trip to see shu

book tickets, plan stream schedules, accommodation...

it sounds stressful, but to you, all that is shrouded under the idea of meeting up with shu

thinking that it was good idea to consult to his friends within luxiem first, you went to vox for advice

"hello?" he calls out from the other line

you smile, "hey, vox! sorry, do you have time? i have something to talk about with you."

"oh yeah, i'm free. what's up?"

you tell him of your plans and nina's initial involvement, laying out what your basic idea of what you'd been doing

"holy shit, that's such a good idea. and i could definitely tell shu was genuinely super upset he couldn't come with us this time," he agrees. "i'm sure he'd be really happy to see you, y/n. and are you sure you're here to just cheer him up?"

you could hear the mischief in his voice then and you turn a thousand shades red at what he's insinuating

to be exact, vox actually knew that you were emotionally attached to shu. from the way you behave around him, the way you talk to him, the way you treat him

the demon can definitely see that you have some sort of admiration towards the sorcerer

"oh hush, vox. i just want him to cheer up. when i talked to him today on call, he was so so sad. i couldn't bare to see him like that."

and that was true, this applied to vox as well

"you know, i've never seen anyone care so much about shu. of course, we all care about him, but yours is different, y/n. you know that right?" vox points out

you stay quiet, absorbing his words

perhaps he was correct and maybe it was time to admit so

"maybe. i just... want shu to be happy. i sound selfish but if i could do something about it, i would."

vox chuckles softly, "of course you would. and thank you, for continuing to care and worry about him for us in luxiem. also, y/n, would you consider maybe... confessing to him about this?"

huh??

"vox, no! i could never. he probably doesn't feel the same. he doesn't right?"

now you were just denying your heart's own wishes. of course you hoped shu would feel the same, but something else told you that he probably didn't.

and that maybe it was safer to stay quiet about things

you couldn't take such a risk with shu, one of your closest friends

vox hums, "not exactly my place to tell, love, but i have an inkling that it might be mutual."

"stop joking around, you sadist."

he laughs, "i'm a sadist yes, but no, i'm not joking. i seriously think he might have the same feelings. from the times i watched you and shu stream together, there's something so different about him. like, he... laughs more? he looks so much more like himself when he's around you. and i'm 400 years old so i have valid experience with this."

you roll your eyes, "why thank you, milord. anyway, it's still safer for me to say nothing about it."

vox sighs, "alright fine. but consider to do it one day, okay? you guys have been super close for a long time. i thought this one time you get to see him in person would be a good time to do it."

you see his point, you really do. and you would consider confessing to shu about how you feel if only it weren't because of your damned self esteem

days go by and shu has already started to get back up on his feet. the mention of not going to the offcollab tasted bitter on his tongue but he learned how to cope with it

you on the other hand couldn't wait to board that plane and drive up to his house, surprising him for an offcollab together like what he would've had with the luxiem boys and nina

"you know what, y/n? you seem to be in a very excited mood lately. has something happened that i didn't know of, huh?" shu asks you one day, feigning offense like you have been purposely neglecting to tell him something important

you merely giggle, the surprise hidden beneath your tongue, "you're overthinking things, shu. nothing much has happened. i've just been feeling super happy lately is all."

his momentary silence speaks to you in a way you catch that he's not sure to accept your answer

"okay, i'm glad for that..."

you laugh away at his comment, changing the subject quickly to avoid exposing yourself

and that's it!

today's the day you finally get to see shu!

with the rest of the luxiem boys informed of the wonderful surprise (and vox's never ending teases and encouragement), they send you all their support and you're off to see the sorcerer

you'd caught wind beforehand that today shu would be streaming by the time you got to his house, so you planned to show up at the end of his stream

the entire journey there, your stomach was doing flips and you simply couldn't take off the grin on your face

after reaching land, you catch a cab real quick and make yourself over to shu's address. you check your phone and shu is indeed still streaming, nearing the end of his two hour mark.

it felt as though every step you took was lighter, your heart also beat a lot faster the closer you got

phone in hand, you text shu

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: yo shu, u still streaming? Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN]: yeah just about to end Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: good! Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN]: um okay???? why????

but you purposely don't answer him, leaving him confused and even on stream the last you checked it. it left you giggling and when you reach the destination the driver informed you of, you get off quickly

you then ring the doorbell

from the inside of the house, you don't really hear anyone. but after a few minutes, you hear some shuffling and rushed steps towards the door

just like the fast pace of their footsteps, your heart too thumps just as rapidly

there are a few clicks sounding from the door then it swings open

you see pale skin, dark hair adorned with its trademark yellow highlight at the top of his head

and then his purple eyes

you thought they were pretty online, never thought they were mesmerizing in real life though

"y-y/n?????" is the first thing shu says, seeing who it is at the door who dare disturb him during his work. his pointy mouth drops open and for a full minute he doesn't believe what his eyes are perceiving

you wave with the biggest grin on your face, "are you gonna say something, shu?"

he shakes his head out of his trance and without much to say, he lunges forward and squeezes you with all his might

you laugh out loud and hug him back, you were about to let him go when you realize that shu isn't letting go just yet

he keeps holding you and there was not a single opening where he was going to ease the pressure of his embrace

but you weren't complaining either

it was a full few minutes before you feel shu shift, "sorry, i was just... super happy you're here. you of all people."

wh-what did he mean by that?

you giggle nervously, patting his back, "i'm glad. i thought you were so upset you couldn't join the boys for the offcollab so, here i am. actually no, nina came up with idea. i couldn't leave you to be alone, could i?"

shu pulls away and gives you a smile you've never seen on him. or was it because you had never seen him smile in real life...?

whatever it was, the look in his eyes was just so gentle. like you were touching the soft fur of an animal. it brings you warmth. and safety.

"all that matters is that you're here now. thank you for making the time to come," his hold on you lingers, like he was reluctantly letting you go (or you wished it to be). shu gestures towards the inside of his house, "come in! i'll get you a drink. your trip was probably exhausting. you can sit on the sofa."

you nod and make yourself comfortable while shu sees to your beverage done

wow

shu yamino in the flesh

his warm hug from earlier left a pleasant burn on you. you wanted to feel it all over again

later, shu comes in with two glasses of iced water. he places one near you and the other near where he sits.

"man, it's so, so good to see you! you're shorter in real life," he grins

you slap his arm, "oh shut up. i'm not that different."

"hmm, nah."

"shu yamino! is this how you welcome a coworker who's gone overseas for you?"

he shakes his head while laughing, "that was your choice, y/n!"

the teasing aside, you were genuinely having a lovely time with shu around, the unnecessary butterflies flapping about in your stomach. but you didn't mind it this time.

you just had to make sure you'd never feel like this around shu, for his sake. even despite vox's encouragement.

...maybe

"look, i haven't set up next week's schedule yet but i kinda wanna plan our offcollabs together now. you okay with that?" the sorcerer grins, looking at you expectantly. you giggle as you nod. he smiles, "cool! so, where are you staying? a hotel?"

"yeah, it's not too far from here. actually, i should probably go check in--"

as you stood to grab your phone, shu suddenly grabs your wrist. your heart stops for the faintest second

almost as if not realizing what he had just done, he slowly lets go of your hand and looks away.

"sh-shu?" you call out

he clears his throat and offers you a courteous beam, "so-sorry! it's just that um... i thought you could just stay here in the guest room. hotels can be pricey, you know?"

he-

you internally inhale, looking away as your ears turn red.

why did he have to be so kind?

"we-well, i can just cancel my booking then, if you don't mind me staying here."

shu shakes his head rapidly. "no, of course not! i offered after all."

way, way too kind. no, wait he's just being polite... right?

after settling in, your stuff already organized and with shu loyally by your side to make sure you have everything ready. he asked if you needed more towels, any extra chargers, toothbrushes and the like...

your heart simply couldn't take it when he continued to fuss if you had everything you needed

"shu, i'm good. i promise. i properly packed my things," you touch shu's shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile in hopes he could finally calm down

he laughs, rubbing a spot at the back of his head, embarrassed. "sorry, it's just that it's been a while since i had someone over to stay. and it's you no less."

every time he said that like you were some special vip coming to his house made you feel like one, as much as your little crush on him said.

the first night at shu's house was mostly just staying in. with shu even cooking dinner for you

you never figured he was a decent cook, mentioning once that his go-to meal was instant noodles

that night, he also invited you to play together for the first time

sure, you two played a lot online but it's always different when you play games together in real life. as shu's eyes focus on the screen with much intensity, you couldn't help but giggle to yourself, catching his attention immediately

he raises an eyebrow at you, "hm? what's up with you?"

you pause, closing your mouth with your hands. it doesn't help that your face is bright red

well, shu just caught you giggling to yourself looking at him. why wouldn't you?

"no-nothing! just thought of something funny is all," you lie through your teeth. but knowing shu, he probably saw right through you

he stares at you head on and you start to feel antsy

"shu...?"

now it's his turn to change red?

stop beating so fast, heart.

for a full minute, you and shu swapped no words with each other, broken only by an incoming discord message from your phone

you look down and see it's from vox

Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: hey love how's it going with shu? met up with him okay?

you gulp, stealing a glance at the still red shu before deciding to message vox back

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: yeah! he let me crash at his guest room instead of a hotel Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: oh he did, did he? i see:) Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: shut up vox he's in the same room as me rn Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: OH HE IS, IS HE? Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: y/n my dear do u kno how proud i am of you for progressing so far? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: VOX U BETTER SHUT UP BEFORE I BLOCK U Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: hey now no need to play dirty with your long time buddy vox eh? anyway Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: have you finally considered actually confessing to him soon?

you blink and bite your lip.

the idea was scary, intimidating. all for the right reasons.

shu was your closest friend and one you wouldn't want to lose all because of your silly little crush on him.

okay not little but still

then again, if he was a good friend, he'd just gently reject you and still be friends anyway right? there was no way shu would slowly distance himself from you because of all that

"y/n?" the said man calls out to you, finally breaking the terribly uncomfortable silence. you hum, looking up at him. "you sort of just... zoned out there. you good?"

remembering again that you were still there with shu, you shake your head and slowly stood

"i'm alright, i promise," you reassure him, holding your phone to your stomach. "i'll be back in a minute okay? i gotta respond to this real quick."

without rly waiting for his response, you rush out of the room and into the far end of the hallway

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: sorry i needed to get out of the room for a sec Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: and here i thought u actually confessed Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: vox istg Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: u kno what nvm serious talk Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: what would happen if he rejects me? Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: hmmm idk for sure but y/n i feel like he's gonna accept you. he probably has a crush on you too you know Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: like i said a few weeks back, i see the signs on him Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: just answer the question will you? i just wanna be sure Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: alright finee Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: in my opinion shu wouldn't be the type to suddenly not be friends with you anymore Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: he's a pretty chill guy and would never want to hurt anyone, especially you Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: you rly think so? Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: yep that's what i think

so, maybe... maybe it was actually okay to confess to him soon?

in the end, you were only afraid that you'd lose shu as a friend if things went awry

knowing that he'd still be there for you like before even after the confession made it seem less daunting

if only by a bit

you sigh, your head starting to feel heavy

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: alright fine i'll think about it Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: for real?? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: yeah just not today Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: okay if u say so love, take it easy Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN]: i believe in you and shu Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN]: thanks vox that means a lot

and you really did think about it for the next few days

when you went to bed the first night, your hands were sweaty at the thought of confessing to shu about how you feel

in the morning, your head pounded because of the lack of sleep but it soon washed away when you saw shu with a slight bedhead and only in his pajamas

it made you smile and your teeth rotten at the sweet sight

but this reminds you of what vox told you last night, thus now your head is filled with nothing but that

the first few streams went successful too! the yaminions and your own fandom were thrilled to see you having an offcollab as the other luxiem members had their own

to the chat, it seemed not too different from how you and shu would collab online

but to you?

you wished it could be like this for as long as the world let you

his smile, his jokes, his voice, the way sometimes his hand would brush against yours, the way he taught you patiently about a game you could not get the hang of

geez

it all toppled over inside you, your feelings

until you simply couldn't handle it anymore

shu noticed this unfortunately, touching your shoulder to catch your attention as you two sit casually to rest after a stream

you turn to him. "yeah?"

"you seem to be distracted lately. are you actually okay?" his brows furrow with concern and the beating of your heart quickens more than usual

it felt like vox's words were tugging at you, urging you to tell shu how much you wish you could be more than friends, how you wish you could protect his smile and be the selfish reason you make him so happy

if shu wasn't here, it would honestly make you cry at the reality those were not real

you take a long deep breath in and take shu's hand off your shoulder, your fingers enjoying the momentary smooth skin of shu (a quality of his you had discovered yesterday) before placing it down on his lap.

you smile and began, "shu, i have to tell you something."

sensing this was no joke, shu put away his phone and properly faced you.

he returns your smile, nodding at you expectantly

"okay," you whisper to yourself. then you look him in the eye, "shu yamino. i... i've been crushing on you for a long time."

then the smile on the sorcerer falters

confidence -1

but you decide to pull through. "si-since a few months after we met. i thought it was just admiration. i tried to control it because you were a coworker. but i just couldn't. i kept falling and it wasn't until a couple weeks before i left to come here that vox encouraged me to confess."

shu still wasn't saying anything.

confidence -5

"on the first night staying here, vox actually texted me about it. that's when i thought, 'fine, i'll do it.' so... yeah, here i am," you squeeze your eyes shut for a bit, then open them back while hoping that shu was finally going to say something

but still, much to your heart's dismay, his lips are sealed shut

honestly, you didn't know what else to say either

sh-should you just give him time to find an answer?

you gulp, reaching out to shu, "hey--"

"sorry."

you pause

"i-i don't think i feel the same."

part 2 here!

Masterlist!

#author chan’s delivery service 🧺 #nijisanji en #luxiem #luxiem x reader #shu yamino #shu yamino x reader #yaminoart #shu yamino fluff #shu yamino imagines #author chan’s delivery service ?

[coff-in]

Oh my god can that be my name? Devious Anon? <<<< I mean if you wanna kiss I'm not gonna say no.../j Also that's such a mood this game constantly invades my mind during working daytime hours, thank fuck I am done with finals sooo for now I have some time to fuck around :D Okok so first and foremost, I think the main reason Andrew might not kill baby sis reader is because he thinks she doesn't deserve to be dragged into their old sibling bullshit. Reader is still playing angel most of the time, so Andrew mostly thinks of her as innocent and she still has her whole life ahead of her! I like to think he would at least leave her some sort of message before he kills Ashley and them himself, but she doesn't take well to it because her siblings are dead and that was her whole life and now there's no life ahead of her! (This is compounded if Andrew was her favorite sibling and left the message behind because I think there's an extra layer here of "you'd die for Ashley but leave me behind, so clearly you care about her more than you care about me" and by god will she chase him to hell to terrorize him about this.) I WROTE THAT LINE BC ANDREW'S IN MY MIND WITHOUT RENT 24/7 LIKE AAAAA THIS MAN HAS NO RIGHT!! BEING!! SO DATEABLE!! Like hell I can't blame Ashley or Julia I just-rrrrghh. I read one of your past posts where you mentioned Andrew eating the reader out and all I can think of is him telling her that he'll take such good care of her and to relax when she wakes up to him eating her out first thing in the morning. Anyway. Ahem. Excuse me for that horny thought. If devious baby sis is left behind with the not-favorite sibling...I think she ultimately still loves both her siblings, just unbalanced, so she'll still stick around, but eventually the sibling will kind of realize that reader has lost her light. She can't joke around as much, she stops being a little shit, she's helpful and clings close and gives the sibling affection but there's some measure of distance unlike before (she probably also holds some hidden resentment towards the surviving sibling). This could ultimately go three ways—the surviving sibling eventually patches up with her and becomes her favorite sibling/or at least on equal grounds with the dead sibling (good ending), the surviving sibling goes off the rails as the realization that their baby sister no longer loves them (and maybe never did love them) the way they always thought she would (kinda bad ending bc I can see Andrew resigning himself to this, maybe thinking this is what he deserves, but for Ashley, this is another slap to the face because once again, not even her own little sister puts her first), or little sis reader eventually can't take it and kills herself (bad ending for sure bc I don't think Ashley or Andrew will be sticking around for long after that.)

notes from coff-in: AAAAAHHHHH DEVIOUS ANON DEVIOUS ANON WELCOME TO THE COFFIN!!!! im so happy to have you here! i was honestly refreshing tumblr on my phone waiting to see how'd you respond to my post im sorry!! tcoaal has been a daily in my life for a month now, like ive never been to attached to a piece of media this hard before (besides homestuck) ah anyway, your ask! my response!

[fem] reader-insert, [devious younger sister reader] continued, incest, NSFW, murder

andrew leaving a note for baby sis [reader] would fuck her up SOO MUCH, like holy fuck. this has gotten me thinking about how, what if, reader killed ashley for andrew? like classic yandere style stuff: [reader] sees ashley getting under andrew's skin and pushing his buttons and making him mad. when ashley goes to have her vision she sees [reader] chasing after her instead! "i don't know why you insist on pushing him so much, leyley. why can't you be a good girl like me and do as he says? hm? maybe it's cause you don't love him as much as i do... i'm pretty sure no one ever will really." i'm not the best with dialogue but like GGRRRRRRR I CAN SEE IT IN MY MIND

ashley would then have to worry about andrew leaving her AND her little sis possibly killing her! that's not even taking into accounts andrew's reaction to it since the visions always end after ashley dies... would he resent [reader] for killing ashley? would he kill her in turn and then himself? WHAT IF ASHLEY DEFENDED HERSELF AND KILLED [READER] IN THE VISION??? im really going into hyperdrive thinking all these thoughts

also never apologize for horny in my inbox, this whole blog is my excuse to write porn about me and the graves siblings (and now you guys too!! yay!!! :D) i saw it come up on the tcoaal subreddit that andrew would eat pussy and it just made so much sense in my head. i headcanon that andrew likes to eat pussy (idk if he's any good but he's eager to learn) and is an ass man. i mean he talks about ashley's fat ass in the motel room, and how he would slap her cheeks when climbing into their parent's house, AND THE SCENE WHERE HIS FINGERS ARE THROUGH ASHELY'S BELT LOOPS!!! god i can imagine his waking up baby sis [reader] with the most sloppiest head ever, rubbing her thighs and saying how he's "gonna be a good big brother and take care of you"

he's biting her inner thighs and sucking on her clit/dick (for all the lovely little sisters who have one) and just GRRRR ITS NOT FAIR HE'S NOT REAL!!! he tells her to "be a good girl and cum, cum in big brother's mouth" and i just... [reader]'s going to have to most intense orgasm ever because it's an absolute dream come true for her!!! probably passes out due to how hard she came... and it's only fair that she returns the favor when she wakes up, no? ;)

i can see the awkward and silent car rides with [reader] and her least/second favorite sibling. the empty space between that used to be filled with their bickering and laughs is just... quiet now. they ask her what's wrong and she just continues staring ahead of her until she lets out a silent, almost missable "i miss andrew/ashley..." i actually don't know how much more angst i can write until it becomes a full on oc/reader insert fic (man if only someone could write what they wanna see *looks in the mirror*)

ah... but thank you so much devious anon for adding ur brainworms to this blog, they have throughly burrowed their way into my head. and i dont want them to leave :) (*makes out sloppily with you*)

----

coff-in

#cobweb in the coffin #devious anon visits the coffin #tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #ashley graves #tcoaal x reader #the coffin of andy and leyley x reader #andrew graves x reader #ashley graves x reader #devious younger sister

[yuri-is-online]

Just finished Sinostra's chapter myself.... I gotta say though, was a little underwhelming compared to other chapters.... Honestly the entire thing felt like a one-man show by Ritsu + some sexual tension between Taiga and Romeo whenever they interact lol. MC has never felt more like a spectator than she did in this chapter, I was waiting for her to do absolutely *anything* but she really was just... there lmao. Not even hand-holding this time!

Even the Like Dove showed up AFTER mc left, when it was just Taiga and Romeo in the room, and then later again when Romeo barges into Taiga's room - this time mc was there but, just barely lol, the whole focus was on Taiga and Romeo's almost shoot-off, and Taiga's line saying "You really could shoot through my heart"?? And the fact that he sensed Romeo approaching before he even saw him, and so far is the only person who he clearly remembers and freely gives compliments to lol, Lulu is a cute nickname tho.

Regardless, Taiga's strange response to the Like Dove could possibly mean Kaito's explanation about it might not be true after all, since anomalies are still a mystery, wouldn't be strange for false rumors to make the rounds.

And I while I don't hate Ritsu - I appreciate he's a hard worker and tries to make the best of any situation he's put in - I dislike how he really just one-sidedly handled everything in this chapter and only ever explains after they're done lol. The case didn't feel like an investigation at all, Ritsu just pulls some numbers out of the air and acts on them (where is he getting all that data??) and in the end they won against it because it had to prevent a paradox from happening...? lmao idk overall just felt so underwhelming.

Also we never find out what the deal was about the girl in the tower?? Why even mention that detail if they're not gonna do anything with it... An anomaly that was born from the negative emotions gathering in a casino replaces people's memories with a girl in a tower.... My guess is it wanted enough people to "remember" her so she could come into existence? Like Takeru's ghost. I wonder what for though... Will they revisit this or not.....

You could pluck out MC from this chapter and absolutely nothing would change imo because Ritsu was doing everything anyways, only name-dropped mc when mentioning it was an investigation, that's it. While I don't necessarily need her to be the star or a hero, having 0 influence on the chapter is not great writing imo.

Kaito and his silly antics were the highlight for me. And I found it hilarious how him being stripped down and locked up in Romeo's "private office" feels like the setting of any self-indulgent "dark romance" fiction between a rich CEO and helpless debtor who has to cater to the captor's whims lol.

Finally Hotarubi is next, I've been curious about it since I got sorted into it, and want to see more of Haku. I agree he's sus, his dialogue in the prologue if you choose him only highlights the fact. But something about him really compels me

Sorry for the long ask, I have a thousand thoughts twirling around in my mind about TD, it should probably cool down between the entire month that's left before next story update.... but also there's new games coming out next month so hopefully I don't forget about TD completely either lol....

There is no shame in long asks. I'm always impressed at the amount of thoughts my dear anons manage to fit inside the ask box ♡

I also felt like the content was a bit lacking to the point I went and checked Jabberwock's chapter count and was surprised to find it's actually a tad shorter than Sinostra's. I think the main reason it felt so short to me was because I wasn't locked out of progressing this time around, but the case progression also felt much much quicker. If I'm sitting back and evaluating it as a writer, I think that's probably because of the setting being confined to the school and dorm. Sure, a lot happens, but you don't actually go anywhere, unlike in the previous three books.

Our MC has a very laid-back personality, which I don't mind. BUT the game really should allow for the chance for her to work things out on her own, even if she's too afraid of the other characters to verbalize it and keeps them to herself. There are several times in the book when she tries to point out inconsistencies in Ritsu's logic or other evidence she notices, but she's talked over pretty much every single time. It's what made me really hate Ritsu since you did not see that with Ren, Haru, or Towa, but i get that it's sort of tricky when writing more domineering characters to balance not making them overshadow the more laid back ones but still keeping them true to their personalities. I don't think Ritsu would have paid attention to Kaito if MC wasn't there, nor do I think Taiga would have paid attention to Ritsu, but that's just me speculating because the story doesn't clearly communicate it. This book was poorly written, a lot of the problems people have with MC could be fixed with a few additional lines where she's shown wanting to do something but reminding herself she has to play nice with the ghouls otherwise they won't break her curse. Her personality makes sense to me, but her writing does not.

Now. I disagree about the no real moments this chapter but ah. Well. You see. There is something deeply wrong with me so I completely get if this did nothing but disturb you but when Taiga has MC strapped to the torture chair 👉👈

Look I know potentially getting a hicky from a guy that strapped you to a torture chair and just shot you (for the second time) isn't everyone's thing but it is mine I was so well fed this chapter from that alone ( ; ω ; ) AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HOW HE CALLS HER KITTEN AND EATS THE FUCKING LIKE DOVE??? RAW??? ROMEO ROMEO WHY FOR ART THOU INTERRUPING ROMEO I WANTED TO SEE WHAT HE WAS GONNA DO- forgive me anon I'm afraid I'm most unwell.

Speaking of the Like dove and the memories of the tower. The Tower thing reminds me of rapunzel, especially because she's out alone in the woods, but it feels super out of left field, no? If the anomaly is born from the Casino, which Taiga states "is him," then I wonder if the girl in the tower is representative of something he's forgotten? The chapter places an emphasis on how anomalies can affect memory, so it's not too big of an assumption to make that something must have happened to Taiga to make his memory this bad. As for the like dove... Romeo seems very surprised to see it, almost suggesting he never has before, which can you imagine how funny it would be if it showed up for him and Taiga. They've been friends and business partners for at least two years, I refuse to believe the dove would only just show up now. The image of him just never seeing it because everyone is too polite/afraid of him to point it out is too funny. The dove shows up twice this chapter, both times it sort of read to me like it had been there for a bit before it was noticed and in both cases Taiga reacts to it negatively. Given how paranoid he seems to be, I think it's probably because the idea of him caring/having someone care about him scares him due to the unpredictability of it and the potential for betrayal. He seems to think people only want to use him, so that's probably part of it too. I'm constantly doing way too many lines of copium, so to me the dove seemed triggered by Taiga's interactions with MC but I also see where you're coming with Romeo. Their friendship is much less adversarial than it was implied to be in their little blurbs, and I quite like that a lot. You know even if Taiga seems to think Romeo is always taking away his fun. And what's up with his constant want to eat anomalies, is Romeo not feeding him enough?

Slight correction, Taiga does seem to remember who Haru is, Harry and Lulu are both derivative of their names, so maybe he can only remember people in his year clearly? Or does it also include second years? He sounds very surprised at the concept of a "first year ghoul" in his house so maybe his memories are cutting off everything other than the previous two years...

I also have a bunch more thoughts but I'll cut myself off here ×-× gotta let some of them simmer before I make too much of a fool of myself (I already have)

#<3 asks #tokyo debunker #hotarubi anon #taiga hoshibashi

[suiana]

She replied Hella fast so I'll share it with you lol

My email did come off as half hearted but it's obvious that's not what I was trying to say, I was just trying to be honest about it. I don't do that sugar coating shit

Anyway, the incident happened three days ago

This is what she said

Dear [ass shit], (she fr called me ass shit)

Oh, wow. "I guess," "I suppose," "I'm sorry for that, I guess." Are you kidding me? Is that supposed to be an apology? Because it sounds more like you're bored and can't be bothered to take responsibility for what you did

You cheated on me, and your lackluster attempt at an apology is just adding insult to injury. You say our relationship hasn't been exciting lately? Well, guess what? Relationships have ups and downs, and it takes effort from both partners to make things work. But you decided to take the easy way out and betray my trust instead.

Your indifference is infuriating. You can't even bring yourself to genuinely apologize or show any remorse for hurting me. It's like you don't care at all. If you truly loved me, you would feel something more than just "I don't know what to feel." It's pathetic.

I don't need someone in my life who sees cheating as some kind of thrill-seeking adventure. I deserve better than this, and you're right; maybe the best outcome for both of us is to move on. I won't waste any more of my time with someone who can't even muster up a sincere apology.

You can bet that I'm done with this relationship. Don't bother waiting around for me, because I won't be coming back. I deserve respect, loyalty, and someone who actually cares about me.

Goodbye,

[Her Name]

My hands hurt from typing this shit out

But like I wasn't in the wrong??? She wasn't giving anything interesting so I left that's it

She trippin' lmao

not in the wrong? I'm sorry if this is mean but anon you ARE in the wrong. if you felt like the relationship was going stale you should've conversed with your girlfriend instead of cheating on her.

I'm sorry if I appear mean but I just hate it when cheaters try to justify their actions. cheating is always a choice and YOU made that choice. take responsibility.

#suiana's sinners

[deeg9]

Chenford + Tim finds out about Nucy

Hey Anon - I've written 2-3 fics with scenes where Tim finds out but I'll share the most recent version below that I wrote with Quesera and WannaBeBold (I'm like 50% sure we already posted this on Tumblr but I honestly don't remember).

The One Where Tim Finds Out About Nolan

EXT. LA BREA - FOOD TRUCKS - DAY 

Officers Celina and Thorsen are sitting at a table out of earshot while Nolan and Lucy wait for their lunch orders from the food truck. Last night at happy hour, Tim and Lucy announced to everyone they’d been dating for a while. 

NOLAN 

“So, have you told Tim that we used to date?”

LUCY

(shakes her head)

“No, not yet. Why?”

NOLAN

“Just estimating how much time I left have to finish writing my will.” 

LUCY

(laughs)

“Good point… I’ll tell him tonight.” 

NOLAN

(squirms)

“How about tomorrow?” 

LUCY

“Why?” 

NOLAN

“I can’t get a flight to Japan tonight but I can probably find one tomorrow. I’ve been meaning to visit Henry and Abigail anyway.”

LUCY

“Oh, shut up. It’ll be fine. He won’t even care.”

END SCENE 

INT. BAR - WILSHIRE BLVD - NIGHT 

A few months later, the Midwilshire gang is gathered at their favorite bar to celebrate Tim and Lucy who just got engaged. 

NYLA

(holds up a finger)

“Okay, okay, but wedding rule number 1: No exes.” 

TIM

“Normally, I’d agree. But Lucy and Rachel are good friends–”

NYLA

(interrupts)

"No exes! Do you want to sit there knowing one of your guests has done the dirty with your future wife?"

TIM

(opens his mouth to respond) 

LUCY 

“Oh, come on. All of that is in the past. And what about Nolan? He has to be there.” 

Tim reels back.

TIM

(his response comes out in a choke)

“Nolan?” 

GREY

“Oh, dear lord, someone please burn my ears off.”

LUCY

(taps her chin with her finger)

“That’s right… I just thought about telling you but I never actually got around to it.” 

NOLAN

(whispers)

“You said you were going to tell him months ago.”

LUCY

(shrugs)

“I forgot.”

THORSEN

(shudders)

“Uck. And I thought the bar was too low with Chris. No offense, man.” 

NOLAN

“I mean… I’m a little offended. I’m better than Chris.” 

The crew looks around at everywhere but at Nolan.

NOLAN (cont.)

(rolls his eyes)

“Wow.”

NYLA

“Really, Lucy? No one told you that was a bad idea?” 

LUCY

“Well, Talia brought it up once or twice. How dating a cop was bad for my career…”

Tim laces his fingers through Lucy’s reassuringly. 

NYLA

(waves her hand) 

“No, no, not that. Screw that.”

NYLA (cont.)

(teasingly)

“I’m talking about dating Nolan being a bad idea.” 

BAILEY

“Hey! Now I’m offended.”

NOLAN

(to Nyla in mock offense)

“What the heck? I thought I was your favorite.”

NYLA

"Now who told you that?" 

Nolan points at Angela. 

ANGELA

(shakes her head nonchalantly)

“Hmm... That doesn’t sound like me…” 

NOLAN

(exasperated) 

“You started this, Aaron. The next round is on you.” 

THORSEN

(nods unapologetically)

“Fair.”

LUCY 

(chuckles)

“I’ll come help.”

Thorsen and Lucy head to the bar.

Emmett walks up and pats Tim on the back.

EMMETT

“Hey man, I heard you’re getting married. Congrats.”

TIM

(stares at him for a moment before responding)

“How did you know I was getting married?” 

EMMETT 

(points at Bailey)

“I just joined the 122. Bailey’s house.”

Tim closes his eyes and sighs.

BAILEY

(slowly pushes Emmett back toward the other end of the bar where firefighters are gathered)

“This is not the best time.” 

Thorsen and Lucy return and start topping off glasses from the freshly filled pitchers.

WESLEY

(to Tim)

“If it makes you feel any better, we didn’t know either.”

Angela suddenly finds a spot on the wall very interesting. Wesley notices immediately. 

WESLEY (Cont)

“Right, Ang?” 

Everyone’s waiting for her to respond.

ANGELA

“Oh, please. Of course I knew! I just didn’t stick my nose in their business like Talia did.” 

WESLEY

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

ANGELA

“Because you turn into a gossipy little schoolgirl when you drink.”

WESLEY 

(hangs his head)

“I do not…” 

JAMES

(clears his throat and pats Wesley on the back) 

“You really do, bud.” 

TIM

"What about me?" 

ANGELA

"What about you?"

TIM 

"Seriously? You're my best friend."

ANGELA

"You two had vibes. There was no way I was telling you." 

TIM

"When she was my rookie? No, we did not."

People are nodding along with Angela and muttering under their breath. 

TIM

(leans in)

“What was that?”

Lucy elbows him in the side playfully.

CELINA 

(steps forward)

“Uh, sorry to interrupt, but I’m sensing someone coming through with a J name. He wants me to tell you there were definite vibes.” 

Her statement is met with stunned silence. 

CELINA (cont.)

(frowning)

“He also says Smitty owes him 20 bucks. Do you know who this is?” 

CELINA (cont.)

(before anyone answers, Celina’s face softens)

“But what he really wants me to tell you is… it’s about damn time.” 

Tim and Lucy smile sweetly at each other and he leans down to kiss her. Everyone in the room starts clapping, egging them on. Tim dips Lucy back and deepens the kiss as the Midwilshire crew cheers, the sound of glasses clinking in the air. 

END SCENE

Kudos and comments on AO3 are always appreciated! Thanks for reading.

#anon request #chenford fanfic #the rookie fanfic #by deeg9

[tadpolesonalgae]

forget club rat az, mcr hot topic az is what we need. anyway hello????!!!!!!! it's time for my cbmthy thoughts baz was LITERALLY the mvp there. The way this man stood his ground to one of the most feared warriors of Night Court, that was so fun to read. Reader has to bring him a breakfast gift basket or something when she's back! He deserves it. ~very well acquainted

Also, Azriel is the king of Being In Denial. You know she's not in that goddamn room. And I agree with Yarnball (Wool?) 🧶 that it irks me that suddenly he's only giving her a second thought now because there's a vision where he dies? Please. He has so much yearning and redemption to do. (and I can't wait to see it happen hehe! suffer, az) (but I do remember him thinking that he's scared her off too... like the others have before and she was outlasting them... hmmm... I'll love to have him elaborate on that thought)

Her trading the earrings for the ring was EVERYTHING I got an inkling she might do that while I was reading and it was amazing when it actually happened. You said that even Az would be relieved she got rid of it, but I kinda wanted him to be a little offended fdbfhdfjfbd like why was he obsessively looking for them in her room? Hmph. I hope he does clutch his pearls a little when he sees she chose a fox ring as the trade!

Now for the main, most important part: Death Surge? As in the burst of energy and vitality one gets when they're about to die? Tabby, you evil genius. I'm so excited to see the extent of her powers and what she can do with them, and why the Cauldron would give her that. Nesta took something, Elain was given... could reader have been dying when she was dumped into the magic bathtub and her powers happened as a response to this second life? Very, very interesting. I'm at the edge of my seat. the writing is beautiful as always! you're a source of inspiration for me at this point, it makes me want to experiment with my wording and sentence building. <3

(also, I think it's great that we are forming a group of besties through these anon asks, I love interacting with you all!!) love, 🥐

‘forget club rat az, mor hot topic az is what we need. anyway’

Wait hold on!! I have evidence to support this 🥹🧡💛

‘hello????!!!!!!! it's time for my cbmthy thoughts’

Let’s gooooo 🥳🔊

‘baz was LITERALLY the mvp there. The way this man stood his ground to one of the most feared warriors of Night Court, that was so fun to read.’

He’s so provocative it’s worrying 😭 like I know he had a tendency toward violence (in the casual-brawl-at-the-pub kind of way, not anything potentially dangerous to reader) but an Illyrian warrior Bas?? Please be more careful next time 😭

‘Reader has to bring him a breakfast gift basket or something when she's back! He deserves it. ~very well acquainted’

🤭🤭🤭

‘And I agree with Yarnball (Wool?) 🧶’

I love it so much when you interact with one another 🥹 it’s so sweet to see 😭

‘He has so much yearning and redemption to do. (and I can't wait to see it happen hehe! suffer, az)’

I’ve been thinking about how exactly Az’s redemption is going to go, because while I don’t think he’s done anything bad bad, I don’t think reader will be able to trust him entirely as is, even if she wants to.

Trust building exercises!!! 🔊🔊🔊

‘suffer, az’

👀🤭🤭🤭

‘(but I do remember him thinking that he's scared her off too... like the others have before and she was outlasting them... hmmm... I'll love to have him elaborate on that thought)’

Oh my gosh, that was meant to be him thinking “first I was kind of a dick to her in library, then I was more of a dick after, then I read through the volume, then I got her a bland present, then I left her unchecked when I should have spoken to her instead of giving her time and space🙄”

Sorry, I can see how that could be misinterpreted 🫣😅

‘Her trading the earrings for the ring was EVERYTHING I got an inkling she might do that while I was reading and it was amazing when it actually happened.’

I’m so happy you enjoyed it 👹

I remeber thinking so many times when I was writing part 12 “okay, you have to remember to mention that she takes the earrings with her or else what’s even the point” 😭🤦

‘I hope he does clutch his pearls a little when he sees she chose a fox ring as the trade!’

“I’m happy you got rid of them, but a fox ring? Really?” Yes, Az. Really 🤭 I think his feathers will get at least a little ruffled when he sees that finds out about it :)

‘I'm so excited to see the extent of her powers and what she can do with them, and why the Cauldron would give her that.’

I’m glad you’re excited because I’m scared—I don’t want to mess anything up from how I’ve imagined it 🫣😭

‘the writing is beautiful as always! you're a source of inspiration for me at this point, it makes me want to experiment with my wording and sentence building. <3’

😳😳😳 I’m so flattered, thank you 😭🫂

Writing is so fun for me and such a nice way to relax (most of the time) so I hope you get a similar thing out of it! 🧡💛🫂

‘(also, I think it's great that we are forming a group of besties through these anon asks, I love interacting with you all!!)’

Right? It’s so lovely to see you speaking with one another ☹️☹️🧡💛

#🥐 anon <3 #🥐 #cbmthy

[killingitreservoirdogsstyle]

hey there! could i please request an hc for what it would be like to be mr. pinks daughter/child? no worries if not have a lovely day<3

Hello anon! I'm SO sorry for the delay in regards to getting your request out, you would not believe how busy I've been. I should have more free time around Christmas break, but I am not sure. Anyways, you have NO idea how long I've waited for someone to request me to do a Mr. Pink x child/daughter reader headcanon set, so a huge thank you for that! I hope it's okay that I do one set for a gender neutral reader and then for a daughter, as I want to be inclusive to everyone no matter what gender they are. Thank you again for sending in your req, please let me know if this isn't what you wanted and I will gladly fix it for you! I apologize for how short these are, I literally haven’t had a full break since November so please forgive me!

Tagging my besties @itscrimsonsixx and @jaehaerascrown here for this fic! I dedicate these hc's to the anon and you two!

FANDOM: Reservoir Dogs

GENRE: Requested Headcanons, parenting AU, fluff, and slight angst

SYNOPSIS: You are the child/daughter of the sarcastic Pink who he loves very much but isn't so great at voicing it.

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

Mentions of feminine titles and a female characters in one section, which will be marked in bold beforehand, implications of past abuse, swearing, and some angsty scenarios! Please read at your own discretion!

Gender Neutral Headcanons: they/them or other pronouns

You are in for a wild ride with Pink as your father, to say the least. Whether or not you're adopted or his biological kid, he treats you as his own. He took you in as a small baby, not certain in the slightest of how to care for an infant. His life of residing in grungy motels, conning anyone willing to fall for his schemes, and running for his life subsequently, inexperience with children would be an understatement. Consulting parenting books which weren't helpful, it dawned on him to look at how he was raised.

When the portions that didn't align with his beliefs cropped up, he would do the exact opposite thing that had been done in his case. So, when you had disobeyed him? The belt was left in its loops on his pants, harsh metal not slicing you up or cold leather marking your face red. When you cried or got angry? He wouldn't shout and scream at you to grow up. Rather he would be there by your side to sort out whatever was going on. It may seem out of character for him, but I believe he would have a softer side to his personality that would only come out when you were near.

The two of you listening to K-Billy’s on the radio, kicking back in your hotel room and singing along to the great tunes. Or, him smoking and watching grainy tapes of old 70′s TV shows. He’s got a killer sense of humour, which allows him to crack random sarcastic jokes in between dialogue that makes you nearly throw up laughing.

You’re pretty much homeschooled, as he doesn’t believe in the ordinary public school system to give you the education you need. However, he does make sure you’re socially experienced, polite and good mannered. It could be because he had a particularly difficult time in school as a kid that’s left such a bad taste in his mouth, but this is Pink we’re talking about here--he’s the opposite of conventional. Or I’m just biased because I was homeschooled, but whatever the case, I think that all the travelling you two do would result in you not staying in one school at a time. 

Yes, you can have a pet as long as it’s portable and small, so a dog or a cat or something that won’t die immediately ( ‘something sturdy’, as Nani in Lilo and Stitch says ) as soon as you start travelling around. It is your responsibility to train and raise it, however, and he grows quite attached to it despite acting all stoic towards it. Deep down, he’s an animal guy, and he’s happy you won’t get lonely when he’s working longer gigs. 

He absolutely can give you a hard time and tease you, that rough and tough criminal persona never truly dropping as its second instinct for him. But if he crosses a line, he’s always there to awkwardly apologize. He doesn’t mean to hurt you, he just has a hard time with emotions and relationships. 

Daughter/AFAB or Female Identifying Headcanons: she/her or other pronouns! ( Trigger Warning Here for Fem! Reader and Past Abuse! ) 

Please scroll until you see the bold text to let you know these hc’s have ended if these subject matters trigger you! Thank you!

* cough cough * Can anyone say overprotective? Pink has to be one of the most paranoid, cautious fathers out there especially if you are his daughter. “The world is full of danger for a young lady like yourself,” he says, partially because of his own criminal background and the fact that he was raised in an abusive household like I headcanon. Let’s just go with him never raising a hand to you, even not wanting to yell at you though he will if he has to. 

Dating would be a nightmare to say the least. He wants you to pick somebody who makes you happy, yet he’s quick to judge. Choosiness rules his perception; he only wants for you to be happy. If that means burying somebody or hurting them to prevent you getting harmed, you bet your ass he will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.

Periods being equally terrifying for him, though he’s a real trooper and pulls through for your sake. Out come the teen parenting books now, the second phase in his raising of you. Expect to wake up the day after you get your period to find a heap of chocolate, a bottle of water, and a warm hot water bottle in your favourite towel set out for you. Dad of the year!

Him training you to shoot a gun for self-defence or putting you in mixed martial arts classes that he makes a point to have you attend every single one of them. If a job was to go wrong and you got the brunt of the wrath of the person he pissed off, its best in his mind that you have a fighting chance. A total feminist move to empower his badass daughter! <3

Speaking of feminism, he curtails the usage of sexist slurs around you almost so that they’re nonexistent. Having a daughter changed some ideas in his head, made him think deeply about what values he wanted you to take away from his upbringing of you. Would he want you to be subservient and hypersexualized with no critical thinking skills of your own? Or would he prefer you to absorb feelings of love, shelter, independence, and strength from him? The latter was his decision and it was one he made without needing to rationalize it. So yes, he’s a changed man in regards to how he views women and the female gender as a whole thanks to you, though it won’t stop him from spouting off jokes when with the Dogs, say for instance. 

End of Daughter/AFAB or Female Identifying Headcanons and Triggers! 

Last headcanon for now because I’m squat out of ideas: Pink tries his absolute damn hardest to make time for you no matter what. He desires nothing more than to be there for you as a positive energy in your life, a force for good, however you want to call it, he’s there. You don’t have to hesitate to call him up if you need something. Are you in danger? Your first instinct is find him. Did you have a bad day and need to vent? He’ll be there at the end of the day for you with open ears and arms. Or do you just want to put on a movie and sit with him without talking? Fine by him too, he’s all there for it. Overall, I think Pink would be a father with many flaws but one who cannot be denied in that he loves you so very much as his kid.

Whew! I hope these were okay, I’m trying to get out some content before Christmas to catch up on my long list of reqs! I’m so sorry again it took so long anon, I appreciate your patience and support of my blog even if I’m not as active as I want to and used to be. If you all celebrate Christmas, please have a very Merry Christmas or a restful Holidays this year! I wish you all nothing but the best, and I send you all my good vibes, love, support, and warm wishes into the New Year! Next year is going to have SO much to bring for this blog, and I cannot wait for you all to be apart of it! 

#killingitreservoirdogsstyle #Reservoir dogs #resdogs #mr pink #mr pink headcanon #quentin tarantino characters #Quentin Tarantino #steve buscemi #reservoir dogs headcanons #reservoir dogs fanfic #anon request #thank you so much anon #merry christmas to you al #thanks for all the support #i love you all so much

[missmeganlee]

I loved Simon+Marcus’s story line. You have no idea how important it turned out to me.

When I was in my late teens a guy fell for me. He was 20. He was nice, caring and knew this life better than I did. I was flattered he was around me, did some little things to me, I liked him, but it was not love. We kissed, we didn’t go further. He said we’ll take it slow. He said he’ll wait for when I’m ready. After a while I decided it was not it, I didn’t want to just have him around not feeling anything, so one day I plucked up all my courage and broke up with him. I didn’t cheat on him, no other prince was madly in love with me at the same time, I just said it wouldn’t work out…. He told me so many hurtful things in response, he called me very offensive names, all his ‘love’ was turned against me. And I felt like an awful person, I felt so f@cking guilty and it was so scary … Now looking at my hurt and confused boy Simon I can’t blame him. Wille or not, he would still have left Marcus. I forgive him and I forgive myself for hurting nice guys. Marcus would be hurt anyway…Being not loved back would be as much of a crime in his eyes. I’m glad it was done as it was - I needed to see it.

Hi anon!

I’m so glad the Marcus/Simon storyline meant that much to you and helped bring you some closure 💜

#young royals #young royals season 2 #simon eriksson #marcus young royals #ask #anon

[wolfnesta]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR75bFKL/

This TikTok makes me want to kms. The comments are truly the worst part. They wonder how anyone could slander Feyre. They’re living with rose-tinted glasses if they think Feyre has never done anything wrong. One reply (under the top comment) says:

“ofc not!! i love nesta and feel bad for & understand her, but i’m still happy ppl like rhys and cass put her in her place at times!! she needed it”

She didn’t need to be “put in her place.” She needed therapy for fucks sake and for someone to understand what she was going through. I can’t stand this line of thinking. Telling her “everyone hates you” in response to Nesta saying she (rightfully) doesn’t like Rhys isn’t putting her in her place, it’s abuse. That is actually verbal abuse because Cassian is in a position of power over her, not Nesta being mean.

Call me a granny but I couldn’t figure tik tok out for a minute so I just don’t use it (I guess people can see when you go check out their profile for videos?? Long story short I was left so embarrassed). I’m so sorry anon that this ask has been waiting forever 😭 but I did check the video out and I’m sure the top comments changed by now but they seemed to go along the lines of ‘yes finally the side of tik tok I need’ which I take to understand that they’ve been seeing anti takes. Which lets just say I’m not unhappy to see 😅 If the problematic stuff of the series is being talked about even on tik tok I mean good for them🤷🏻‍♀️ I think though that I’ve learned you can’t and shouldn’t deal with these people in the comments. Can’t because they have the work of a problematic writer to fall back on. Some go as far as claim to be non- haters- here- for-the-fun but complain about people that engage in questioning canon and proceed to make posts trying to debunk our opinions using that same canon material as if that doesn’t exactly prove most of our arguments. It’s grinds my gears worse when I see some say things along the lines of suggesting we should leave the fandom if all we do dislike the characters as if it’s not because of some of the characters that we stay. It’s very simple when I filter tags and block blogs that annoy me but that same energy can’t be given back because apparently any anti take is born out of misery (which is far from the case) and we should just leave the fandom (wtf). Anyways sorry for the side track 😅

And also I said shouldn’t engage in discourse with them because at the end of the day just let them enjoy what they want. I say this mostly for your own peace and theirs. There’s alot of sweet kind people on this side of the fandom that totally get what you mean. If you’re out there and see this ❤️ I hope all is well ❤️

#anti sjm #sjm critical #this ask is seriously like months old #im so sorry anon #don’t let it get to you though

[chosetherose]

*This ask is in response to this “mini rant” Anon from @spade-riddles blog.*

Hi Anon. I hear what you’re saying and think this is generally the healthiest approach around here. I think many people, myself included, feel fiery right now not because we saw a stunt in isolation like we have a million times before…but rather because after years of feeling like we’ve been left hanging every single day there is this perfect storm of:

Feeling like the 2022 hints were painstakingly planted for years but seemingly went nowhere …unless you believe the anonymous source that swooped in at the buzzer to imply the 2022 hints did mean something after all. We just have to wait 3 more months beyond the year we already waited and then maybe we’ll see if the 2022 hints were bullshit or not. But hold on…this source also told us the “next five months” (through December 2022) would be wild. They were not. So what to believe? What comes in March? Another hint to hold on for another 6 months, then 8, etc. Cat and mouse for a year or two or three…Been there. Done that. We’re exhausted.

Jerklie is still stunting in 2023 and there are increasing rumors their end date is essentially three more years away in 2025. I haven’t shared this before but in December I received an ask suggesting 2025 is Jerklie’s legitimate end date but I never posted it because I didn’t believe it (I’m obviously rethinking that now with other similar asks being discussed on other blogs and the date on that lotto ticket). If this has always been the case, the 2022 hints, including Karlie listing Josh being her last client as #22 in one of her YouTube videos and Taylor continually referencing the Year of the Tiger aka 2022, were complete and utter fiction the entire time. How could it not be? (Would love to be enlightened if I’m wrong.) That would be playing with us maliciously, IMO.

Salt in the wound like [they’re] laughing right at [us] -> Karlie is posing ✌️✌️s with Jerk and presumably poking fun at us with their stupid shoes. It feels like a giant fuck you to all of us…who are literally just here because we are inspired by a (true) love story. And personally, it’s surreal to come up with a theory about Jerklie being done in 2022 then watch a supermodel you admire and a K****** you despise stomp all over it. Ick. And yes, some of us are critical at times so maybe that pisses Karlie off, but I think that’s healthier than always being ‘yes men’ who idolize celebrities like they can do no wrong. That’s not real, to me anyway.

It has always been exhausting rooting for the anti-heroes but it feels different for me this time. I haven’t said that I’m leaving just yet. But what’s the purpose of paying close attention now?

#CTRask #anon thanks for understanding why I’m only sharing the second half of your ask #tumblr is not letting me paste links but I believe the mini rant ask is the post before this on my blog

[eirenical]

sooo… tell me more about that heiping smut. that sounds relevant to my interests for some reason. (yes, yes i just want to hear more about it bc i love it a lot. SO WHAT. DON'T JUDGE ME.)

(what if i put this one on anon! WHAT IF.)

Why, I can't imagine why a WiP titled "Laire fic heiping smut outtake" would be relevant to your interests! 😁 (And I have a feeling I would have known this one was you, too. CALL IT A HUNCH. XD)

[The WiP Title List, if anyone else would like to ask about one. ^_^]

ANYWAY, about a year ago, @laireshi wrote this AMAZING Heiping fic, Exploration, that had this line in the second paragraph:

It wasn’t as if he was actually expecting an answer, between Yaba’s inability to speak more than one sentence a week—and Xiazi was rather sure Yaba had used up all his words for the month begging in bed last night, and yes, he was very proud of himself for that one—and this having to do with the Zhang family’s Super Secret Stuff.

And that bit between the em-dashes caught me by the fucking THROAT and wouldn't let go. So I asked Laire if she would mind if I took a stab at writing that night before when Xiaoge used up his month's worth of words begging in bed, and her response was basically "YES PLEASE". ;D So I did. 😁

It's a bit under 3300 words now and I have maybe... one more scene to write plus some snuggling? I also have quite a bit more begging to get in for Xiaoge to fill that quota. XD So far most of his begging seems to be some variation of Hei Xiazi's name, but Xiazi doesn't seem to mind. ;D

But basically this has become an exercise of Hei Xiazi trying to figure out exactly how much soft pampering, how much teasing, and how many orgasms he can get away with giving Xiaoge before Xiaoge actually starts begging for real and not just screaming his name. 😏😁 So far we're at... three teases and two orgasms with Xiazi already planning round three?

It'll be a wonder Xiaoge can even WALK by the time the fic takes place. XD

(And yes, I just got distracted rereading the fic for the nth time while I was taking that tally. I really do need to finish this one and post it. MAYBE AFTER GRADING HELL WEEK IS DONE. AS A TREAT. 😁)

In the meantime... snippet behind the cut? Yeah. I think a snippet behind the cut. ^_^

Showers, Hei Xiazi had always thought, were a revelation.  They'd not been common place when he was born, but they'd been installed in the house as soon as they were available.  Xiazi had reveled in them then and continued to do so now.  The pounding of hot water on sore muscles, the buildup of steam opening pores and congested breathing, the speed with which the grime fell from his overworked body… yeah.  Still a revelation.  But sometimes, just sometimes, there was no replacement for a nice long soak in a hot bath.

Especially with the right company.

Xiazi slid his fingers back into Yaba's hair, massaging his scalp as he lathered, then letting his hands drift lower to the tight column of Yaba's neck and shoulders.  Did those muscles ever relax?  Sometimes Xiazi wondered if Yaba even knew the meaning of the word.  Digging his thumbs deeply into the muscles at the base of Yaba's neck, he slowly dragged them upwards to the knobs at the base of his skull.  Steady pressure, deep strokes, coaxing those muscles to unwind, to let go of their knots, to ease the headache that surely must be forming from all that tension.

After barely a minute of those gentle ministrations, Xiazi was rewarded with a subtle, barely-there shiver and a long, low moan.  Moments later, Yaba's head fell back to rest against Xiazi's shoulder, his body quickly following, settling softly into the curve of Xiazi's body.  Exactly what he'd been waiting for.

Xiazi rinsed his hands in the bathwater, then filled the bowl he'd left aside for just this purpose.  Shielding Yaba's eyes with one hand, he lifted the bowl and slowly rinsed the shampoo lather from his hair.  Bowl by bowl, the lather washed away into the tub to mingle with the water, leaving Yaba's hair sleek and soft, his body growing heavier against Xiazi with every bowl full of water that sluiced over his skin.

It wasn't often that Yaba let himself be taken care of like this.  It was weeks, months, sometimes years, after their each reacquaintance before Yaba would let his guard down enough to let Xiazi do this for him—before he could even begin to understand why Xiazi would want to.

After all, you maintained your tools, certainly, but you didn't buy them sweets.  You didn't hold them close while they slept.  You didn't coax and caress them until they agreed to let a day go by when they wouldn't be used.  You didn't show them affection.  And Yaba, Hei Xiazi had long since learned, viewed himself as nothing more than a tool, unless someone taught him otherwise.  And that was the worst thing of all.

But today, when Hei Xiazi had drawn a bath for himself, had teasingly invited Yaba to join him, Yaba had surprised him.  His expression had softened, those too long fingers drifting through Hei Xiazi's hair as their gazes met—one shielded and one guarded, though not so much as it had once been.  He'd left the bathroom, then, puttered around in the hotel room for a while, turning off lights as he moved.  He left only one lamp lit, softly reflected light the only illumination once he was done. 

"Admit it, you just want to get a gander at my gorgeous eyes, don't you?" Hei Xiazi had said, as Yaba returned and slipped the black glasses from his face.

Yaba had shaken his head, a smile so fond crossing his lips that Xiazi's breath caught in his chest like a lovesick teenager's.  Moments later, Yaba was peeling out of his clothes and slipping into the tub, and here they'd been ever since.

#wip title meme #eirenical writes things #snippet #dmbj #hei xiazi x zhang qiling #hei xiazi #zhang qiling #laireshi #other people's fic #fic recs #seriously guys #if you HAVEN'T read exploration i highly recommend it #along with all of laire's other heiping fic #and the rest of her dmbj fic #...ok just go read ALL of her fic #100/10 would recommend #😁😁😁 #nothing too steamy behind the cut; just heiping sharing a bath and some hair washing and gentle massages #and a TEENSY bit of angst... as a treat #;D