#and i have so many more thoughts on this topic than even i previously assumed

[detransdamnation]

Maybe i am in a bit of a blind spot now but stumbling upon your blog and a few of your last answers made me question - if gender roles were nonexistent in society so the sex a person has wouldnt dictate how they are treated - how could someone develop an unease about something truly neutral? I know there are sex differences in humans and thats what we talk about when we speak of transsexual people - the desire to change sex based on a terrifyingly strong discomfort with the one one has. But i am at a loss when it comes to understanding where would that discomfort even start/be influenced by (again as long as the sex you are would make everything neutral) because i always assumed that its that dichotomy of how society views females and males is what later translates into the literal base of where it comes from which is one’s sex. Then - Would the dysphoria grow out of purely desiring something that one doesnt have along the lines the grass is greener on the other side? Getting to experience sex the way it feels like as the other sex (especially in case of not heterosexual people)? Or only An aesthetic pursue? If the only thing that differentiated us in society would be the biological abilities of our bodies and the appearance of it…why do you think would someone still come up with an idea of desiring the other?

After reading especially the last answer it made me think that after all there must be some truly transsexual people who are just born being transsexual. Thats why i decided to send it because i think you established somewhere that you believe there are no trans people who are trans ”just because”, just because they have a brain of the opposite sex trapped in the wrong body etc.

I hope this makes some sense, its not an attack on anything you said more of a big wonder and desire to understand better and i really hope it comes off this way.

You make total sense. Your message doesn't come off as an attack at all.

Anon, I'll be real with you. I reread my answer on whether or not I believe gender abolition would also abolish dysphoria. I did rush in writing that response, greatly so, so the way I phrased my thoughts was particularly subpar; however, as I was trying to tie everything together in this response to you, I realized that the viewpoint I argued didn't really make sense when I held it up to my other beliefs. So, this is a humble admittance that I was, frankly, talking out of my ass. I'm going to use this as an opportunity to reassess my beliefs on this topic and will be re-answering that question once I have done so.

In the meantime, one of the best ways to assess your beliefs is to argue something you disagree with or are unsure of, so I'm going to double down and continue the argument as if I'm completely confident that it's the truth, if only to hopefully better explain where I was coming from when I wrote my previous response. So, proposed argument: Gender abolition will not necessarily abolish sex dysphoria.

First of all, what causes dysphoria and how does gender fit into that framework? I talked about this at length here [AL] and here [AL]. I specifically want to zero in on something I said in the former link:

I [...] do not personally believe that there is a “main reason” on as to why dysphoria may develop in a young person in all cases. I suppose my own “main reason” would be that I fell into the trans community because I never thought seriously about transitioning prior to that time—but the thing is, even if I hadn’t, I would still be dealing with everything else that influenced my getting to this point. [...] If I were to take the trans community out of that equation, it would just be the influence of the trans community missing.

Let’s replace the influence of the trans community with the construct of gender and let’s fast forward to this hypothetical dream society where gender is not an existent thing. We can apply what I said above. We’ve taken away gender and its influences—but we still have everything else. There are numerous factors that could cause a person to develop sex dysphoria; in a genderless society, we have only taken away one. In order to shut down any possibility of dysphoria developing, we would need to get rid of every single possible factor and influence and that is just not a possible feat. Homophobia is a significant factor in many cases of dysphoria and will remain so in a genderless society unless efforts have been previously made to abolish it. No amount of social change will ever eradicate abuse, which can be a trigger in dysphoria in that (especially long-term) abuse victims are prone to redirecting emotional pain to certain aspects of themselves, especially in an effort to regain control, even though they may not “make sense.” It is also impossible for us to eradicate, for instance, natural aspects of our biology that are just plain inconvenient or uncomfortable, which may become objects of fixation (especially in puberty) and cause a person to develop sex dysphoria thereafter. These are just a few examples off of the top of the head—but they and more may all continue on as potential factors because these things, in and of themselves, do not have anything to do with what we have abolished. They do not cease to be potential precursors to mental illness, such as dysphoria, just because we have taken one precursor away.

But why dysphoria? Why would someone develop sex dysphoria in a genderless society if sexes were seen as entirely neutral? Well, let’s turn our attention to another mental illness that is perhaps most reflective of dysphoria (so reflective, in fact, that some people believe them to be one and the same): body dysmorphic disorder. Body dysmorphia is “a mental disorder characterized by the obsessive idea that some aspect of one's own body part or appearance is severely flawed and therefore warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it.” One’s “flaws” cause significant distress, even to the point of seeking out cosmetic procedures in an aim to “fix” them. Anything can be a trigger in body dysmorphia, although some of the most common include facial features, hair, skin complexion, and coincidentally, sex characteristics such as breasts, facial hair, or genitals—which are all inherently neutral features. No physical feature is objectively “wrong” or “bad,” “good” or “right,” “pretty” or “ugly.” They just are.

So, then, we could ask the same question: Why would people with this disorder fixate on these features and develop an unease with them if they are truly neutral? We could argue the societal pressure of beauty ideals, and certainly, that is a factor in a lot of cases—but if body dysmorphia were truly an issue of how certain features are seen and treated, exclusively, then by all means and purposes, people who are considered to be conventionally attractive should not also be seen developing the disorder. Marilyn Monroe could be an example of this: considered one of the most beautiful women in the world in her time and years after and yet (was believed to have) struggled with body dysmorphia until the day that she died.

Things don’t have to be “not neutral” in order for someone to not like them. Things can be neutral and still cause one discomfort. Things can be seen and treated as indifferent by the collective and yet still be hated by the individual. Why do non-dysphoric people have insecurities at all? A lot of the time, they don’t have specific reasons. I don’t feel they need to have reasons. Just like I don’t feel dysphoric people need to have an ultimate reason on as to why we would develop sex dysphoria when we could have fixated on any other physical trait.

I think where people tend to get tripped up in these discussions is, they try to apply what they know to be reasonable to mental illnesses and how they present in order to rationalize, to themselves, what we are feeling and experiencing—but in doing so, I feel we easily lose sight of the fact that, even without mental illness, the brain does not need a logical reason to fixate on something, to hate something, to want to get rid of something. Marilyn Monroe having been an icon of beauty did not change the fact that she didn’t like her face—and my not believing in gender does not change the fact that I don’t like my sex and desire to be the opposite. Marilyn continued to feel the way she did because she had body dysmorphic disorder. I continue to feel the way I do because I have dysphoria. Both disorders alter how we perceive reality and cause us to believe things about ourselves that are not objectively true. We desire what we do not have because that is a symptom of the inherently nonsensical disorders that we have. That is all there is to it. That is our “why.”

And I am content just leaving it at that. It is my own personal stance that we cannot chase the logistics behind something that is not logical to begin with. At the end of the day, there is no ultimate reason for mental illness. Mental illness does not need to make sense. Mental illness only needs humanity. It will continue to exist no matter how humanity progresses.

So, under this argument, there are a few different points to be had, main ones being that gender abolition will not necessarily abolish sex dysphoria because gender and sex are not one and the same; to take away gender is to take away only one possible factor in one’s dysphoria; and although outside factors can (and do) influence dysphoria and would continue to do so in a genderless society on account of the previous two points, there’s ultimately no “reason” on as to why dysphoric people would continue to cling on to their sex in this society where the two sexes are seen and treated as the exact same—simply because dysphoria, being a mental illness, does not exist on a plane that is rational.

Considering these viewpoints and assuming that they all coexist in this genderless society, then, it may be easy to conclude, like you did, that some people are just born transgender. I do understand how you may have come to that conclusion after reading my response and even I, looking back, feel like that is what I insinuated, even though I did not mean to and was not coming from that position. To clarify, as I have stated before, I do not believe in the idea of “true trans,” and seeing as this is a belief that I actually hold very true to and have for a long time, I’d like to explain why. This is no longer me proposing an argument that I am merely “considering.” This is me demonstrating what I believe.

There are a few different things to consider in the statement, “People are born transgender,” starting with the implications of what it means to be transgender and specifically the dysphoric aspect of it. To suggest that someone could be born transgender is also to insinuate that someone could be born dysphoric, that someone could be born already set to hate their bodies as they grow older.

Of course, we could be less technical here. You may not be born with mental illness in the literal sense—but you can develop mental illness extremely early on in life. So, under the argument that dysphoria is a mental illness, dysphoria can develop from a very young age, and therefore the child, express (what may be interpreted as) a transgender identity. Okay, fair enough. What I have never received closure on is, if a young child exhibits hatred of any other part of their body for any other reason, it is universally considered abnormal, a red flag, something to treat—but as soon as gender or sex comes into the picture, this self-hatred becomes something to validate.

Let’s say that a young child tells you that they do not like their body. Without any other context, what would your first reaction be? Chances are, you would assume that someone or something in this child’s life has taught or influenced them to think this way, even if only inadvertently, and hopefully, you would rush to tell this child that there is nothing wrong with their body, that they are perfect just the way they are. But let’s say, after probing a little further, this young child tells you that they don’t “feel like” their sex, or that they want to be the opposite (in little kid terms). Would you then change your tune and decide that they were “born that way,” that they hate their body because they were just meant to be the opposite sex instead? If your answer is yes, or your no follows hesitancy, I have to wonder what, specifically, would change your mind. What is it about dysphoria that is so different from any other form of self-hatred? Moreover, what implications do you think there are in a child telling someone they presumably trust that they are uncomfortable in their body—and that trusted adult telling them that they are uncomfortable in their body because they were, indeed, born “wrong?”

This leads to an essential question that we, ironically, so often overlook. We have a dysphoric child in front of us. What would make them transgender? The most likely definition of a trans person that everyone could agree on would be someone who is dysphoric, likely someone who has been dysphoric since early childhood—but even that is not a perfect or even accurate definition because not all people with dysphoria go on to transition, not even people with long-term or “treatment-resistant” dysphoria. If dysphoria does not make a transgender person, what does?

Let’s say we have one-thousand dysphoric people in front of us and one person in the group—say, the young child in this analogy, now an adult—is transgender. The only thing that distinguishes this person from the rest of the group is the very act of transition. If this person had never transitioned, there would be no difference between them and the rest of the group. We would have a solid group of cisgender dysphoric people. The transgender person is distinguished only through action, self-identity and personal experience in attempts to accommodate that self-identity. “Brain sex” has been proven to be a myth, so we know there are no biological differences to point to them having “needed” to transition—and even under the possibility that there do exist biological markers in dysphoria that we have not discovered yet, that does not prove that people can be born transgender. At most, these markers could stand as predispositions, similar to how people can be carriers for certain diseases or have “bad genes” that make them more likely to suffer from certain ailments—but none of these things equate to destiny, and in fact, in the case of dysphoria, would only prove that a supportive environment could prevent it—and transgender identity—from coming into the picture at all.

The suggestion that some people are just “made” to go through with any action, including transition, is an insinuation of fate—and I do not believe in fate. I believe in free will to some extent, although that would open us up to the more philosophical question of whether free will is truly free, seeing as we are reflections of our environment and cannot completely separate ourselves from it. In either case, we have seen and established that we can both influence one to develop dysphoria, as well as prevent one from developing dysphoria, all depending on how we, as a society, treat them—and if the people around us can help to prevent dysphoria from becoming an issue entirely, thereby circumventing the desire to transition at all, it is impossible for transgender identity to be truly innate to any one person.

In summary and in closing, mental illness, including dysphoria, is encouraged by—and sometimes even brought on by—our surrounding environment in almost all cases. Environments naturally change overtime, and in the process, certain factors in mental illness may become less common or even disappear entirely; however, just because one goes away does not mean all others disappear. One of many of our possible futures as a society is one without gender, and unsurprisingly, this would get rid of gender as a trigger in dysphoria—but so long as no other factors have been dismantled in the process, they will continue on as potential influences in its development, even in this genderless society. It then may be easy to conclude that some people are just “born” transgender, especially seeing as how the development of sex dysphoria in a genderless society would be even more random (comparatively to that of a gendered one)—but that conclusion, that “Some people are just born that way,” would not be reached with any other mental illness, and beyond that, does not give us, the society, enough credit or responsibility. The fact that there are trans people who barely even remember not being trans, such as myself, stand not as proof that we are “true transsexuals” but as proof that we live in a society that is hostile to multiple vulnerable populations and it is up to us to change that. Gender abolition will not solve all of these problems and it may not even get rid of sex dysphoria entirely—but it is essential and a great place to start, which is why I continue to stand for it, even despite it not being a perfect fix.

I hope this gave you a little more to think on.

#i hope this didn't come off too accusatory or preachy #i tend to argue with myself when i write and i can never tell if i'd come off as harsh to someone else #because for all i'm concerned i'm looking at my normal train of thought lmao #anyway anon in the time i left you waiting for a response i have done a lot of thinking #and i have so many more thoughts on this topic than even i previously assumed #my beliefs have already actually rather significantly changed since my previous post #at least in that i am now looking at the situation with a lot more nuance that i had neglected to consider at the time #but hopefully the argument i proposed here paints a bit of a better picture on where i was coming from when i had originally written it #it's far from perfect but then again nothing is perfect to me so i'll just aim for... good enough. #and on another completely unrelated note i have no idea which anon this is because all of mine type the same #someone needs to take on a more distinctive typing style so i can tell who's who lmao #submission #answered #gender critical #writing #text #my post

[lambkiin]

Heyyy!

I just hope you are having a lovely holidays, I wanted to ask for headcanons for Neteyam with a Human writer, I already read everything in the Neteyam hashtag hahaha.

Neteyam x Human!Reader Headcanons

I was honestly hoping somebody would request something like this, lest I have to follow my own path haha. Yeah, absolutely! Thank you for your request!

I was debating a lot whether to have MC with a similar upbringing to Spider, but I feel like theres a little more flavor if they came from the most recent RDA expedition.

Neteyam had first met you after you’d crashed from exhaustion at the humans linkpod. You’d wandered too far from your group, assumably. He turned his nose up to you, just another one of those RDA, right? Sickening.

Your presence in the shack did the exact opposite of repel him, though. He had a thousand thoughts running through his head at all times. Were you just a mysterious occurrence like Spider? Neteyam did not really understand how the other human had come to be in the first place. If you really were RDA, did you have good information for them? About this new expedition? Assuming you were going to comply with an interrogation. Agh, he was jumping the gun.

You had ended up wanting to learn the ways of the people, something neither Neteyam or his siblings would be opposed to. Spider learned, you could too. The group, however, did have a collective effort to hide your existence from their parents.

Neteyam was the eldest, around the same age as yourself. He was the next Olo’eyktan. He could teach you himself just fine.

Learning jumping and climbing was one thing, the fauna a whole different topic. You’d start to see him just a bit differently on days he’d have you accompany him atop an Ikran or Pa’li. He knew just as well as anyone else that you could not form bonds like he and his people.

He found it easy to grow closer to you, someone who previously hadn’t been involved in the affairs of the Omatikaya. Someone he could talk to, and not worry about you running off to spread the word.

The day you learned it, was the day you told him. Oel ngati kameie

At first he told you it wasn’t possible, that it would get the both of you killed most likely, he eventually would cave to his own emotions. He couldn’t deny himself to remain the perfect son. 

You both knew either of his parents would likely have no quarrel in ending your life over something like this, but you were willing to risk everything for Neteyam at this point.

Neteyam’s visits to the linkpod became more frequent, he could breathe your air for a much longer time than you could breathe his. Just like he’d taught you, you’d taught him many things about Earth. Though he knew a lot of it, it was nice hearing everything from a different perspective.

He was more of a listener than anything, and listening to you speak about anything. Whether it be about Pandora, Earth, anything. Hell, he could listen to you talk about him without feeling guilty over it. This is what it was like to feel seen, to be seen. He loved that feeling.

Neteyam was very much a physical affection type, grabbing your arms and hands, holding you, kissing your face. The difference in size made kissing just a tad harder, but that was no barrier he was going to back down to. 

Your favorite time together was riding the Ikran. Usually the large distance between you and the ground below would be unsettling. His comforting presence right behind you always made you feel safe and secure.

Overall he treated you like porcelain, slowly and carefully so as to not accidentally hurt you. He knew he’d never forgive himself, even if you were constantly assuring him it was alright.

~ W ~

#avatar #james cameron avatar #na’vi x reader #na’vi #neteyam x reader #neteyam #avatar headcanons #neteyam headcanons

[holyprincenerd]

A Few Thoughts Regarding Why the ESC Jury is SO Dysfunctional

I’m going to cut right to the chase: The judgement criteria for the jury make literally no sense once you stop and think about them. They quite literally cause trolley problem after trolley problem. As a reminder, these are the criteria the jury was supposed to use to judge the performances this year:

composition and originality of the song,

quality of the performance on stage,

vocal capacity of the performer(s),

overall impression of the act.

Let’s start simple - vocal capacity of the performer(s):

As everyone’s aware, this year, we had many talented vocalists participating in the competition: A few examples are Sweden, Norway, France, Cyprus, Spain, Estonia, Albania and Portugal. They all came swinging with their vocalists. Notice something funny about this list of countries?

It’s based entirely upon the assumption that the ability to belt or the usage of one’s head voice is what defines someone’s vocal capacity. Here’s why this is a problem: Assuming that belting as an example is the peak performance of singing means to ignore other, arguably harder and more demanding techniques that are more unconventional sounding to the mainstream ear. A hilariously good example of this would be growling. It require a lot, and I mean a lot of technical prowess and control over your voice, and is thus arguably harder than say belting, as an example. Seriously. Try to growl. Right now. I bet most of you have noticed that you literally can’t growl without sounding hilariously pathetic. If you did manage to let out a decent growl, now try to sing while growling. Pick any song you like, and go for it. Pretty hard, right? And guess what! We had someone doing that this year, and being phenomenal at it.

Too bad they came last in the competition.

That’s right, if we’re going to start judging vocal abilities here, arguably the most vocally capable singer was Chris Harms. There are multiple parts in Blood and Glitter where he uses the growling technique. Not only that, but du-du-dum! He also belts during the song, and does so wonderfully. So, based on this, clearly, he was the most vocally talented artist out of the bunch, right? (Obviously, I am 100% simplifying things here, but bear with me for a bit.) He does everything that the previously mentioned group did, and more. Arguably we could also say that alongside him Alessandra is carrying the torch of the most vocally capable performer, as she does have that one whistle tone in her song (if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, don’t worry, we’ll get to that later).

However, this gets even more complicated than singing techniques, how hard they are to master, and how many of them you use in your song.

You see, we can’t really judge someone’s vocal capacity and compare them with the other contestants, when many of these artists were performing songs in different genres. Here are some of the genres represented during the Eurovision finale of 2023:

Metal

Industrial metal

Progressive metal

Rock

Alternative rock

Progressive rock

Pop rock

Pop

Dance-pop

House-pop

Latin-pop

Hyperpop

Chanson

Flamenco

Disco-house

Electronic

R&B

Rap

Schlager

Tractor (lol)

With this many genres, different singing techniques are more appropriate for some songs than others. So this is no longer even a question about comparing each contestant’s vocal abilities with one another (which is a problem, since you know, this is a competition), but rather who performs well within their own genre. Suddenly, we can add almost every contestant to the list of competent vocal performances. For those of you who are wondering, yes, even Käärijä came through with his vocal performance, especially in the first half of the song.

While we’re on the topic of Käärijä (and we won’t leave him for a bit), how are the juries supposed to judge the vocals of rap performances that are more heavily reliant on the enunciation of words than the vocals themselves, if the song’s not in English? Part of the reason Cha Cha Cha works so well is because of the way Käärijä raps certain lines or even words. How is any other jury, except the Finnish one, (who’re not allowed to vote for him,) supposed to catch something like how good the ”Ja mä jatkan kunnes en enää pysy tuolissa niinku” part sounds to a Finnish ear? Specifically the words kunnes, en and enää, are doing a lot of heavy lifting in that one singular line due to the rhythm and enunciation. Can a jury member who doesn’t understand Finnish catch onto the way he allows the first two words to almost melt into each other while pronouncing the last word ridiculously fast to create a very specific rhythm? I’m sure some jury members would notice that, but it’s just as likely to go completely unnoticed unless you’re familiar with the language.

Next, composition and originality of the song:

Again, we have a clear victor here: Cha Cha Cha is by far the most ”original” out of these songs (despite the Electric Cowboy plagiarism accusations, and it’s all thanks to the fact that the song does a genre based one-eighty by the end). I mean, hello? Blending industrial metal, rap, hyperpop and Finnish schlager? This is such a strange combination of genres, it becomes its own entity. And somehow it works. Personally, I’d say this is at least in part due to the melodic hook that repeats literally throughout the song. Those beeps and boops you hear after the first line of the song? They keep repeating themselves, in the chorus in the ”Cha, cha cha, cha cha cha cha” portion, and in the schlager part of the song, though there, the melody is cut in half and only the last three keys are present in the ”Niinku cha cha cha” parts and in the lines that end with an ”aa-aa-haa.” (So, ”Niinku cha cha cha, enkä pelkääkään tätä maailmaa-aa-haa” etc.) Obviously, we get to hear the melody in its entirety once again in the final cha chas. Brilliant! Douze point. Sometimes less is more, and I can’t believe I am saying that about fucking Cha Cha Cha but here we are. Simplicity is king.

Now, on the other hand, we could say that most of the pop entries are not original in the slightest. We could argue that there is literally nothing original about repeating the same pop formula and the same chord progressions which can be found in most pop songs. This is why Tattoo, Solo, Unicorn, I Wrote a Song, Break a Broken Heart, etc, are getting compared to other pop songs and accused of plagiarism: Pop music just is that generic in its building blocks. It’s also why we could argue that they’re not particularly noteworthy in their compositions.

And while we’re still on the topic of originality, songs that are tied to a specific genre are practically screwed. No one’s going to reinvent genres like cha-cha-chá, waltz or mambo here, unless they step away from what identifies these genres, the rhythm. If the rhythm isn’t there, it’s not a cha-cha-chá, waltz or mambo song. You wanna blend salsa and reggaeton? Too bad, salsaton is already a thing! Should everyone start doing what Käärijä and his team did, and mix a minimum of four genres with a somewhat unusual structure in order to be ”original”? What even is originality in the context of composition, really? There are only so many chords and chord progressions to use, there’s practically no way to actually be original, which is also why the topic of plagiarism is so fucking complicated when it comes to music in specific.

Anyway, let’s move on to the quality of the performance on stage:

To avoid making a lengthy repetition of the previous point, let’s keep this short: Depending on the genre of the song, a certain type of performance is going to be more appropriate than another. Imagine Alika having a performance like Let 3, or Teya and Salena performing like La Zarra. What’s that? It’s the taste of good ol’ thematic and tonal dissonance. Each song is elevated by a performance that matches that song in specific, and the artists can either perform well or fuck up. Again, this becomes a trolley problem, where the juries have to ask themselves: ”Do we value a performance like Joker Out’s above a performance like Luke Black’s?” When both perform well, it’s hard to compare them because they’re playing in two completely different ballparks.

Finally, the overall impression of the act:

Literally what the fuck does that even mean? This is actually just a preference question. Unless someone fucks up tremendously, everyone should be getting points for this. And that’s the core issue here. Because we’re dealing with such a large variety of different artists, different genres, different languages, it becomes impossible to judge them fairly against each other. Do we value belting above growling? Trolley problem. Do we value pop above metal or rock? Trolley problem. You get the point.

”Okay, but obviously the juries are basing their votes upon objectivity and looking at the whole package,” someone might say, and if they do, they’ve missed the point: There is no objectivity here, and because of that, there is no comparing whole packages either. Literally the only way to be objective about this is if everyone has an identical performance; same song, same staging, same camerawork, same choreography. And that’s not the point of the ESC. We’re supposed to be celebrating our individual cultures and our differences. Variety is quite literally required for this contest to work the way it’s intended to. At the end of the day, music is art, and art can be many things. You can’t argue that EAEA is more artistic than Mama ŚČ! (or vice versa) without opening a philosophical can of worms that is way too big for this silly competition. You can’t say Tattoo is objectively better than Cha Cha Cha (or vice versa), because, again, the songs shine in different criteria and are playing in two completely different ballparks. As a matter of fact, their ballparks exist on completely different planets. There are too many variables at play here for anyone to logically be able to be objective. And that’s when this becomes a question of voting based on opinion and personal taste (you know, if the concept of jury darlings hasn’t made this obvious enough). And personal taste is what the audience is supposed to base their votes upon.

Oh, and before I forget to touch upon that, Alessandra: According to some tabloids, her vocals were struggling during the jury show, and that’s why she in specific didn’t receive as many points from the jury as she probably should and could have otherwise. And that’s ridiculously unfair. Why should the jury and the audience base their judgements of an act on two completely different performances? As Käärijä has said in many interviews, each performance is unique and its own entity. Shit happens. Sometimes your vocals are struggling, other times a wire tries to murder you, etcetera. It’s actually bizarre that we don’t give our votes based on the same performance.

So yeah, shitty system, does not work, 0/10. Zéro point in French.

#anyway unnecessary rant over obviously everything I said was OBVIOUS but I felt like saying it anyway #esc #esc 2023 #eurovision #sweden #loreen #norway #alessandra #france #la zarra #spain #blanca paloma #estonia #alika #albania #albina & familja kelmendi #portugal #mimicat #germany #lord of the lost #finland #käärijä #croatia #let 3 #serbia #luke black #slovenia #joker out #austria #teya and salena

[stellerssong]

Hi again. I'm on some level here to ask for a complete explanation of every aspect of Hawaiian culture that is even tangentially related to your latest fic because I know absolutely nothing and there is the ever present concern that the terms run through cursory Google Translate and internet searching will lose nuance and implications. There were definitely some references to divinities and myths and such that went over my unenlightened head. The story you wove was rich and intricate enough to be held in the mind of someone who knows less than nothing and still have great meaning and truth, but I know that it will mean yet more if I can see the threads you used to make it. (On another level, I'm asking for the explanation because I am abruptly deeply interested in a topic I had previously not thought about very much, and you seem to be significantly more of an expert than the average internet search.)

first off! well first off i am blowing you so many kisses for this very kind ask, thank you so much for giving me an excuse to ramble at (great, great, great) length.

so second off! i would just like to stress that i am very much not an expert in hawaiian language, folklore, history, culture, etc. i am neither kānaka maoli (native hawaiian) nor kamaʻāina (born in hawaiʻi although not necessarily of hawaiian ancestry), and i have not studied these topics formally/in a setting that applies academic rigor. i am an enthusiastic amateur with a personal connection to hawaiian culture, the kind of brain that likes to fixate on areas of interest, and a willingness to scrounge around for reading material. i have, i think, a decent sense of what some of the baseline texts in the field are, and a fairly good bullshit detector (and the understanding/ability to dig into things when i can't rely on the bullshit detector), but ultimately i am a layman and an outsider with corresponding perspectives and biases. i also, i will admit frankly, have a pretty sharp knowledge cutoff corresponding to the time of first european contact, just because of my own personal interests and reading preferences.

read that whole disclaimer? let your eyes glaze over while you skimmed it? good! here's my real quick (lmao) rundown of Sum Things U Should Know If You Wanna Close-Read Kīpuka:

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi 101

Good grief when I put it like that I do NOT feel qualified to tell you any of this. Anyway. We can keep it basic just so you can get a sense of the mouthfeel of the words. And just fyi ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi is the proper name of the language; i'll be using "Hawaiian" as the adjective form, sans ʻokina, assuming an English-speaking readership.

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi as it is commonly rendered today has 13 letters: 5 vowels (A, E, I, O, and U) and 7 consonants (H, K, L, M, N, P, W), plus the ʻokina or glottal stop (that little apostrophe-lookin' dude at the beginning of the word ʻokina, also the source of most of my typesetting woes). Pronunciation-wise, there are no silent letters and no though/through/enough-type surprises: every letter is pronounced, and all of the vowel renderings are approximately equivalent to how you'd pronounce them in Spanish or Italian. Hence, the word kuahine = koo-ah-HEE-nay rather than, like, kyoo-ah-highn, which made me feel gross even just typing it out.

The ʻokina is pronounced, and bear with me here, like the dash in the english nuh-uh. or, if you're a try-hard vocalist—reattack the vowel after the ʻokina instead of eliding it to the vowel prior. So the place-name Kaʻū is pronounced ka-OO, as distinct from the word kau which is pronounced more like kow (which is a bit of an oversimplification of the latter word, but I'm trying to be efficient here).

That leads us neatly into the other diacritical marking used in ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, the kahakō or macron which helpfully appears in its own name. No worries here; the kahakō just serves as a stress marker, so you'd say kahakō = ka-ha-KO instead of ka-HA-ko, or from the example above ka-OO rather than KA-oo.

There are a couple of other little pronunciation tricks here and there. The letter W is sometimes pronounced as a V, and unfortunately I can't really describe the rules for that shift; that is one I must admit I know mostly from vibes. For example, the correct pronunciation of Hawaiʻi itself is ha-VAI-ee, but I've never heard the place-name Waimea pronounced as anything but why-MEY-ah.

Occasionally you will encounter the letter K pronounced as a T, which I believe is an artifact of the morphological shift from older related languages such as Tahitian and Samoan which do preserve the letter T as a unique phoneme. To my knowledge, the Kauaʻi dialect (spoken today on Niʻihau) also preserves the T, but most spoken ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi heard elsewhere is based on the Big Island dialect, which lacks the T. One notable exception is the word tūtū (an affectionate/respectful term for a grandparent or elder), which you really don't hear pronounced as kūkū.

Really, though, listening to Hawaiian music is how I got the language in my ear and imo it's the best way to get it in yours. Can't go wrong with Israel Kamakawiwoʻole (of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" fame), but I have a personal soft spot for Kealiʻi Reichel, Weldon Kekauoha, Amy Hanaialiʻi, and the Cazimero Brothers.

The Place-y-ness of Hawaiian Literature

This is more of a sidenote than its own heading, but I'm the one driving the essay, and I think it's an interesting thing to point out, just because it helps establish a particular perspective I wanted to keep in mind while writing this fic.

Something you might notice as you start to look at Hawaiian oli, mele, and myth is the high level of specificity of place. Hawaiʻi is, let's be honest, not that enormous of a place when you consider it on a global scale—but the specificity of localities within Hawaiian literature is kind of astounding. Not only are there loads of place-names referenced in any given work, there are unique Hawaiian names for landmarks, cliffs, peaks, hills, streams, waterfalls—even rains and winds of specific locations merit their own names.

"kīpuka" is very specifically set on the windward side of Hawaiʻi island, so I made an effort to focus my references to place-names on that region—Hilo, ʻŌlaʻa, and Waiākea are all locations on the eastern side of the island, and the one reference to Kona on the leeward side reflects the coming of someone bearing grievances (in addition to eia aʻe ka makani Kona being an existing idiom warning the listener to watch out for an angry person, the windward and leeward sides of Hawaiʻi island have a long history of territorial warfare and jockeying for control of the island). I'd also considered having the bird discussed in the fic be a different species, the kākāwahie—but that species is/was endemic to Molokaʻi, and quite honestly my knowledge of the history and culture of Molokaʻi as a separate polity is not that great.

(This is partly due to sample bias—my introduction to Hawaiʻi was within a Big Island-based context. At the same time, another thing you may notice about the better-known source texts is that many of them center around Hawaiʻi island and, to a lesser extent, Maui, thanks to the political supremacy during the unification/post-contact era of Hawaiʻi island and Maui aliʻi. Ross Cordy wrote a whole ass book about the Oʻahu chiefdoms that is simply not to be had for love or money no matter how I search for it. I am THIS CLOSE to straight up cold emailing the man and being like I WILL VENMO YOU $75 USD DIRECTLY IF YOU WILL SIMPLY JUST SEND ME A COPY OF YOUR BOOK. PLEASE. SAVE ME ROSS CORDY.)

Girl (Gender Neutral), I Cannot Explain Hawaiian Mythology, Poetics, and Mythopoetics As a Subheading in One Post

Honestly. I can't do it. But some tidbits to assist your further research:

A great deal of Hawaiian literature and oral tradition hinges on kaona, roughly "allusion" or "metaphor." In a description that is useful to precisely no one but myself, it's not unlike the complex plays on words, puns, and deep well of references used in Heian Japanese epistolary poetry. Some of it is easy to grok for newbies: for example, the concept of one's lover as a lei adorning the body, or being splashed or sprinkled with water as a euphemism for sex. Some of it goes a lot deeper, relying on historical or folkloric place-name associations, puns, and ancient practices and superstitions.

The Hawaiian "pantheon" I place in scare quotes because ancient Hawaiian religious practices and superstition were highly syncretic, often extremely localized, and more contradictory the more you read into it. In a very, very, very, VERY rough and off-the-cuff sense, though, there were thought to be four major gods: Kāne (associated with dawn, the sun, the sky, running freshwater, and irrigation-based agriculture, among other things), Kanaloa (associated with the ocean, sea creatures, and sometimes death, as an opposing or complimentary force to Kāne), Lono (god of fertility, agriculture with something of an emphasis on dryland agriculture, rainfall, and peace as embodied in the Makahiki festival), and Kū (god of war, the deified kingship, fishermen, sorcery, and quite honestly a ton of other things in various manifestations).

There were also quite a large number of "lesser" gods, the word "lesser" used just in the sense that they weren't honored to the same extent as the four previously named in state-sanctioned religious practice. Probably the most well-known of these is Pele, the volcano goddess. (I reference another in the fic, Niolopua, god of sleep—but the jury's out on whether or not that refers to an actual god or is just metaphorical in the same way that most people think of "the Sandman" as a euphemism for sleep and not a literal guy who comes into your house and puts crusties in your eyes.)

The gods were thought to manifest in a variety of forms, called kino lau (literally "four hundred bodies"). You can think of this in the sense of "Lono takes on the shape of an albatross or a tropicbird to interact with mortals, while Kanaloa prefers to manifest as an octopus," and in stories kino lau are sometimes represented that way, but in practice it's less of a Greek myth-style practice of shapeshifting and more of an animistic religious belief. The kino lau in nature embody the god and in a metaphorical sense illustrate the interconnection between divine and earthly and the presence of the divine on earth.

(HUGE OVERSIMPLIFICATION. HUGE OVERSIMPLIFICATION. PLEASE DO MORE RESEARCH AND DO NOT TAKE ONE TUMBLR POST AT ITS WORD ON THIS.)

The Endless, in the fic, are very easy to loop into the concept of kino lau, because of their canonical universality. Danny appears as a shark (a symbol of chiefhood), a pueo, or Hawaiian owl (an 'aumakua, or ancestral guardian), a manu-o-Kū, or fairy tern (a bird associated with the god Kū, likely in his aspect as a god of fishermen, navigators, and wayfinders), a kalo plant (a staple crop of ancient Hawaiʻi, a kino lau of Kāne, and a symbol of duality and rebirth), and a snowcapped mountain (a sacred site considered kapu, or forbidden, to all but the highest chiefly individuals). Despair, meanwhile, appears as an ʻalae ʻula, or Hawaiian moorhen (another ʻaumakua, but also an animal whose cry was thought to foretell misfortune), a stingray (for her barbed tail), a hāpuʻu fern (in contrast to Dream's kalo, the hāpuʻu was considered a famine food), a lava flow and its first growths (acknowledging Pele as both a destroyer and a creator of land, just as Despair also embodies hope), and a number of other things meant to embody the devastation of Hawaiʻi (rats, feral pigs, and mosquitoes have decimated endemic birds and insects; the kiawe is an invasive plant species that forms dense, thorny, and difficult-to-destroy groves; light pollution affects behavior and migratory patterns of both avian and aquatic species).

All pretty simple, obviously!

Further Resources and Recs

Okay, so, obviously I'm not going to be able to explain every single reference in this fic in a single post, though I obviously tried my damnedest. In lieu of that, I'll offer some useful resources for further reading:

Stephen Trussel's Combined Hawaiian Dictionary is a fantastic resource for vocab that incorporates several major Hawaiian dictionaries in a straightforward (well, as straightforward as this gets) text-based web page. Ulukau also has a searchable interface, which is a little easier to interact with, but I like having the Trussel for reference.

Huapala is everyone's go-to for translations of Hawaiian lyrics. I've linked to it in the endnotes of the fic for readers interested in more on "Ka Ipo Lei Manu," but it's got nearly any ʻauana-style Hawaiian song you please, and if I recall correctly even a few traditional oli. Again, another slightly old-fashioned text-based site—but we all know how to use CMD + F in a page, do we not?

Native Books is awesome if you, like me, prefer reading things in print but would prefer not to feed your dollars into the maw of the Amazon beast. A lot of the lit on Hawaiʻi was printed either a long time ago or in very small releases and is now out-of-print and difficult to find even in libraries, so it rocks that there's an independent bookseller that specializes in getting those works to an audience in hard copy. @ NATIVE BOOKS PLEASE CONSIDER GETTING ROSS CORDY TO RE-PRINT THE RISE AND FALL OF THE OʻAHU KINGDOM THANK YOU SO MUCH. University of Hawaiʻi Press is also a good source for academic texts, although their website is...mm...difficult to navigate, and do be warned that they charge academic press prices.

In terms of who to read, you really can't go wrong with Mary Kawena Pukui, a Native Hawaiian scholar, author, composer, and educator whose work is the backbone of just, a fuckton of writing about Hawaiʻi, both academic and popular. Her book ʻŌlelo Noʻeau: Hawaiian Proverbs and Poetical Sayings is worth at least a skim just to get the feel of the Hawaiian mindset; it also contains a healthy dose of myth, folklore, and history in the explanations of the sayings. Absolutely adorably, I've found two books she edited that I read the absolute FUCK out of as a child available as PDFs through Ulukau: The Water of Kāne and Other Legends of the Hawaiian Islands and Hawaiʻi Island Legends: Pīkoi, Pele, and Others. Definitely worth a quick read if you want more on the myth side of things.

As a non-specialist, I've really enjoyed Patrick Vinton Kirch's writing on precontact Hawaiʻi. For a field archaeologist, his writing is both highly engaging and very respectful of the peoples he studies, and trust me, I do get my back up easily when it comes to white people writing about Other Cultures TM, so I'd posit it means something that he passes my sniff test. A Shark Going Inland is My Chief is a great overview of the history of the Hawaiian chiefdoms from the first settlement of the islands to immediately precontact, and Kuaʻāina Kahiko offers a bit of a closer look at everyday life in a specific locality in the islands (in this case, Kahikinui, Maui).

Kamehameha and His Warrior Kekūhaupiʻo by Stephen Desha (trans. Frances N. Frazier) began its life as a serialized Hawaiian-language history of the rise of Kamehameha I. It's a dense read, and it WILL test your ability to remember who the hell all these people are to its limit—it mostly discusses the lives and times of the major players of the aliʻi class in the late precontact–early postcontact era, and when you remember that a) a hell of a lot of personal names in this tale begin with the letter K and b) the aliʻi class of Hawaiʻi practiced a mindboggling amount of political marriage, consanguineous marriage, and sanctioned adoption between blood relatives, the family trees get real complicated REAL fast. If you can hang on through all that, though, it's an intensely detailed and very vivid portrait of a culture at a tumultuous moment, it gives a great sense of how the Hawaiians viewed themselves and the world, and it's an interesting exercise in the mythologizing of the Kamehameha dynasty.

Okay, So...?

So...if you hung on through all that, god DAMN are you dedicated. Have what is quite possibly my favorite Hawaiian song for your trouble. It is, funnily enough, about a bird.

EDIT: I am retroactively making this post unrebloggable. I'm really, really glad folks have found it interesting and are looking into the resources I shared, but I absolutely do not want this getting passed around as Hawaiian Culture 101. If you want to learn more about Hawaiʻi, I must stress that you should look to a reputable source and not some schmuck on Tumblr rambling about her effortposting fanned fiction.

#chatter #this is why we don't tell swan ''make your own post about it.'' because then she does. this #i must stay confined to the tags field lest i become drunk with power and challenge god. #i have a handful of other text sources that i can rec but they all come with caveats for one reason or another #and i'm going to be so incredibly embarrassed if i hit some kind of post length limit with this thang. so uh. send another ask i guess #AGAIN. I'M NOT AN EXPERT OR AUTHORITY OF ANY KIND. IF I WAKE UP TOMORROW WITH PEOPLE IN MY INBOX #DEMANDING TO KNOW WHO MY KUMU IS I'M GONNA BE REAL PISSED AT Y'ALL FOR RATTING ME OUT. SO BE COOL PLEASE

[korbei]

My Advice for Adults With ADHD

When you are an adult with ADHD, it can be difficult to find advice online that isn't aimed at parents who have children with ADHD, or wasn’t written by someone who actually has ADHD. This has been a frustration of mine for many years, so I finally sat myself down and wrote out a list of my favorite ways to manage my ADHD as an adult. For background, I am a 23 year old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8, and I am currently in college getting a BA in history with plans to remain in academia as a full-time historian. The following list is what I have developed throughout high school and university to be successful.

*Disclaimer- All of the following tips are things that I developed on my own through years of experience. If any of the following advice has been stated by others previously it is purely a coincidence.

Remembering Things

Don’t bother with a traditional planner. As most people with ADHD know, they rarely work for us. A much better option is a small whiteboard/dry erase calendar or even just post-it notes stuck on the wall where you can write your reminders. These are things that we can put in our direct line of sight where we can clearly see them, unlike a planner that can be put down and forgotten about.

When you need to remember to do something, set an alarm on your phone immediately for when you need to start it or have it done by. This is much more effective than using your phone calendar or a reminder app because it’s a lot harder to miss or ignore an alarm going off than it is to miss a regular notification. I recommend using the most obnoxious alarm tone possible.

Carry a small notepad with you. Whenever you think of something that you need to remember to do or have a thought that you don’t want to forget, write it down immediately. Don’t assume that you’ll remember it later. It’s also beneficial to do this because getting the thought out of your mind and onto paper can prevent the thought from distracting you. This can also be done in your phone’s notes app if you are the kind of person that uses the notes app often.

Getting Stuff Done

Keep your to-do lists small and manageable. Having any more than 5 things on a to-do list is likely going to be more overwhelming than helpful, so keep it short. Decide what things need to be completed most urgently and what can wait.

Surprisingly simple actions can help fight procrastination and help initiate tasks. If you have been putting something off, the quick actions of standing up, closing your laptop, turning off the TV, or opening up Google Docs can help set you in motion and build the inertia you need to get it over with. (This is the tip I used to finally get myself to type up this list)

This might seem small, but thinking about how nice and relieved you’ll feel when it’s finally done has been extremely helpful for me.

For When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

When your thoughts get to be too much and you feel overwhelmed, do a brain dump. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and do a stream of consciousness free write of whatever is on your mind at the time. It’s important to offload your thoughts now and then in order to clear them out. This is something my high school writing teacher had us do to boost creativity, but I found that it also helped clear my mind.

Another way I like to do this is by writing a list of everything I’m thinking about at the time. My brain is always trying to think about 15 different topics at once, so I’ll go into my notes app and list them all out. Getting them out of my brain and into a visible list is very calming.

Get moving. When I start to feel anxious and overwhelmed I will often stop what I’m doing and move around my house or office for a few minutes, especially if I’ve been sitting down for a long time. This interrupts my thoughts and gets rid of stagnant energy around me, and I’ll almost always feel better afterwards.

Studying

Take breaks now and then, but keep them around 10-15 minutes. It’s easy to lose steam and not be able to finish what you are working on if you take breaks that are too long. You can schedule your breaks if you want to, but I personally prefer to take a break whenever it feels right for my mind and body.

Try adding background noise if you are studying, writing an essay, or working on any other project. This can give your brain the stimulation that it needs to stay focused. Putting on music is the most popular way to do this. I personally like to put on a movie or show that I’ve already seen many times so I don’t get distracted by new information, but this might not work for everyone.

Try flexible seating. Not many people with ADHD are able to sit in a normal chair at a desk the way others can, so don’t be afraid to try something else. My “desk” is actually a coffee table that I sit on the floor in front of. When this starts to get uncomfortable I will switch to sitting on an exercise ball.

I hope you are able to find this list helpful. I may make a follow-up list if I think of anything else that I missed here.

#adhd #neurodivergent #adhd student #studyblr #history student #history student tips #adhd adult #adhd advice #college #university #universtiy advice #college advice #study tips

[louisisalarrie]

Hey lovely. So, I’m kinda embarrassed to ask this but I’ve seen a few posts about it. Do you think Louis is in a relationship with another guy (not Harry)? I’ve seen a few things now about Fin from Stone and the fact that he and Louis look quite comfy together. I don’t see it myself. They look like mates who support each other and for Louis is seems like business to me - when he meets him he seems to have his team with him - but just wondered what your take on it was. I feel like L has gone a long time now projecting his ‘single’ image which for someone as lovely as him seems kind of strange. I’d have thought someone would be snapping him up!

Sorry for the weird ask!!

Hiiiii don’t be embarrassed at all!!! It’s a topic floating around the solo Louies, solo harries, and larry fandom at the moment, so it’s natural to be curious about it. It’s a pretty annoying little theory though, and some larries have even been considering it to be true. So, anon, let’s have a look at this together, and as always, welcome to the show.

I’m gonna break this down a little bit so I’m not rambling and jumping all over the place.

1. No, i do not believe that Louis and Finn are together, nor have any romantic/sexual tendencies towards each other. I don’t believe that Louis is with anyone other than Harry. I am an unshakeable larry who will die on this hill hahhaa, but i will try and look at this as diplomatically as possible because it is actually causing a few waves and I’ve seen a fair bit about it from multiple parts of the fandom.

2. I don’t believe this is a stunt or seeding a solo coming out for Louis, which I’ve seen floating around. I don’t think he’d agree to that happening if it was with anyone other than Harry. And the Finn stuff doesn’t follow the same stunt timelines and PR ops that usually happen. So unless the V*nes team has had a massive shift in how they coordinate stunts and have agreed to even let Louis be a little fruity, would be a wild time. But as an industry standard, it’s not a stunt at all.

3. Louis’ body language has always been open, touchy, and basically doesn’t have many physical boundaries with the people he cares about. We’ve seen it with Liam, Niall, Zayn, Oli, other members of his band… and they’re all just his friends, right? He’s just naturally comfortable with that, always has been (except for the clear rigidness he has around stunts/women being touchy with him). His body language is different with Harry though, as we know. So I don’t think body language is a good argument for why people would think they’re together. There’s masterpost comparisons around that show his body language towards others and towards Harry explaining this all. But I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about!

4. On the topic of Oli… I think if there was a more general consensus of people finding him attractive (I’m not saying he’s not attractive, but there isn’t much hype from a majority of fans around his looks like there is Finn and Louis etc.), then these anti larry people would probably assume he’s actually dating Oli, you know what I mean? It’s like… solo Louies, who have been so against Harry and the concept of Larry… I’m seeing them be like “oh maybe Louis is queer, he’s probably dating Finn” and I’m like ????? So you have no problem accepting Louis May not be straight, but god forbid it’s with Harry. It’s such a contradiction, and they don’t even realise it.

5. So… on the topic previously on stunts and Louis’ singleness… we have to remember that BBG is still ongoing. That’s not ended, and it’s not shoved in our face as much anymore (apart from the feature in AOTV and the Christmas photos) and I think his deal is he’s not gonna have a stunt on top of that. Sure, he’s had some short lived gfs who he’s had a pap walk with, but I believe that was for him specifically to push away as far as possible from B and BBG so when it ended, he wasn’t still tied up to her and in the thick of it. I don’t imagine they’d do a long term stunt gf while that’s ongoing, because it’s overkill. His straight, party boy image is still there, but I think it’s settled a bit from what it was, and I think we’ll continue to see it settle a bit for when the coming out happens. So, yeah. That’s my take on why I don’t think he’s gonna have another long term stunt happening (I’ve made a longer post on this previously, but happy to expand more in an industry POV if you need). And someone had already snapped him up because he’s lovely, and that’s Harry!

Thanks for the chats anon. Youre always welcome in my inbox xx

#anon #answered #bbg #stunts #louisisalarrie chats

[phoenix-creates]

Wow! YandereDev's Apology Sucked!

This is a rant post more than anything, so if drama isn't your thing, you are well within your right to click away from this post. If you do want to read through this, it continues down below. Apologies if this isn't the most cohesive or concise post, but I have too many thoughts that I need to share and I obviously can't share them on his dumb YT video because Alex heavily moderates all his comments and only leaves up the ones that stroke his ego. So let's get into it. CW/TW for mentions of grooming

For those unaware of the situation, back in September of 2023, talk of Alex Mahan/YandereDev surfaced, accusing him of inappropriate communication with a minor (video can be found here). What followed was months of voice actors and volunteers dropping from the game and asking that their contributions be removed, other evidence coming to light, and Alex attempting to do "damage control" both in his discord server and through his blog posts (as far as I know, Alex's Twitch and Discord had both been permanently banned and he's talked about having a backup Discord account and a Guilded account)

Finally, on January 1st of 2024, he released his "apology" video, explaining and "debunking" all the controversy surrounding these grooming allegations. Ironically enough, the video has been made private now (Alex claims he put someone at risk by releasing the video), though there are a couple of reuploads floating around YouTube, plus a healthy amount of criticism videos of said apology, which are worth checking out as those people can provide much more context and give better opinions than my ranting.

To sum it up, Alex's video was around fifteen minutes of pure bullshit.

Not just bullshit, but gaslighting bullshit as well. The TL;DR of the video is that, Alex acknowledges that yes the victim said right off the bat that they were 16 and although Alex felt uncomfortable when his conversations with the victim turned "spicy", he still continued to chat with them and pushed past his discomfort because he was lonely, he didn't have much of a social life, and his mental health wasn't great. He also mentions that when he saw the victim as "one of the guys" and genuinely didn't see anything wrong with the interactions he was having with them as he had friends who had been older than him when he was younger and he assumed that was how it was for everyone. Ultimately, it was more on the victim for continuously bringing up NSFW topics, not on Alex for responding to them.

You read that right.

Alex essentially blames the victim and says that the video I linked above was taken out of context and the clips were cut together in a way that made everything seem worse than it actually was. He also says that the victim themselves has also made a statement regarding the situation (however take this with a grain of salt as even though Alex admits the victim did come to him for "feedback"; I am hesitant to believe that as Alex and one of his Discord Mods were in contact with the victim even though Alex previously said they weren't communicating with them) which also corroborates his account of events.

There is so much more to be said but I do want to get into the core of why I'm making this post.

Alex is an adult. A grown man. IN HIS 30s (or 40s I don't remember). If you are uncomfortable with a topic, especially NSFW topics coming from a MINOR, you shut that shit down. No amount of mental health excuses will cut it. You do not, under any circumstance, engage in sexually explicit conversations with a minor.

(Also, quick tangent, if I were Alex and I knew my reputation as a person and as a developer was already being torn to shreds by people and I was already involved in a controversy previously regarding a minor, I would not privately engage in sexual conversation with another minor. No amount of loneliness would ever make that okay.)

You'd think that Alex would finally be suffering the consequences of his actions, but it is entirely a mixed bag. For as many people who are condemning him for his actions, there are other people who are praising him for his "apology" and also engaging in victim blaming. Yes, many of his accounts are getting banned, his patreon earnings seem to be on a downward trend, and his volunteers are leaving. But in their place are many more (I've been informed that Info-Chan and Shiromi have new voice actresses already) ready to help him. If you see the notes on his YT community post and his personal blog post, he still has fans and supporters.

He is still receiving support. And in my opinion, it is because we are not taking this as seriously as we should be.

Whenever news about Alex comes out, we are quick to make jokes and meme on him. We very easily make light of the situation or file it under "who was really surprised that Yandere Dev did this?" and we move on with our lives. By not acknowledging the very serious accusations of this man, he is effectively absolved from any consequences of his actions because he had so many people jumping to defend him. He got away with his bullshit Hate and Shame video, as well as his Debunk page, because he has people coming to defend him and we joke about it instead of taking action on it. And yes, this is still an on-going problem. Just check the blog post of his stupid fucking apology. The comments are FILLED with people blaming the victim. There are even people claiming that Alex could have autism/adhd/etc. and that is why he couldn't understand right from wrong.

(Sidenote, using autism as an excuse when someone does horrendous shit is horrible. We aren't here to self-diagnose because when we excuse bad behavior as simply "autism", it creates a stereotype for actual autistic people and makes it harder for them to be heard and understood because we keep conflating autism with certain behavior. STOP doing this. It doesn't help anyone.)

I do not believe that Alex will change. He might continue to get worse because we have allowed him to get by with vague excuses and promises while he "debunks" everything that makes him look bad. He has spent years claiming anyone with negative things to say about him and his game are ignorant trolls who don't understand game development or coding like he does and that people just spread rumors about him. He keeps delaying the game with more excuses. It has and always will be excuses with him. It has been ten years of excuses for a shoddily put together game.

Put that into perspective. It is 2024. In April, that will make it TEN YEARS of development that this game has gone through.

Alex has spent ten years developing this game, milking money from people, and giving us nothing in return. He has a consistent pattern of horrible behavior towards mods, fans, and volunteers. He has rejected help from competent developers to fix his spaghetti jumbling mess of a code. He has nothing to show for ten years. The game is not fun. We have ONE rival who is a challenge to eliminate (there is no reason the very first challenge in the game makes you work so hard during the first week), we have a "ten rivals mode" that is even worse and a slog to get through. We constantly get new hair and texture models for miscellaneous things instead of actual content. Alex swears he spends hours every day on this game and we are no closer to getting a better experience with the game then we were a few years ago. It might even be 2030 before we even get the fully completed game.

I don't think he deserves sympathy. I don't think people should be praising him for the bare minimum. I've long since stopped caring about the game coming out; I'll likely have my own kids by the time the game is finished with the rate it's going. I just hope that the victim will get all the help and support they need and Alex stays away from them.

Thanks for following the development of YS or what the fuck ever.

#rant post #yandere dev #yandere simulator #tw grooming #yansim #if you support alex kindly get the fuck off of my page #vent post #i'm only doing this one rant then i'm gonna fuck off and go back to mortal kombat

[stiricidewrites]

All the Things We’ll Leave Behind: ch 30, pt 13

Dubious

Previously

~

“Xian-gege should be more careful,” lwj said, before he could think better of it. His ears burned when the other alphas shot him dubious looks. “Last night was not my fault,” he insisted, willing his ears to cool. He had not purposefully gotten drunk! How could he be held completely responsible for Drunk Wangji’s actions!

wwx gasped. “And who says any of the times I spent the night in the woods were my fault!? … Why are you both looking at me like that?”

lwj and jzxuan exchanged knowing looks. lwj was sure the majority—if not all—of the times the older alpha had spent a night sleeping in a forest had been at least a little bit his fault.

“What was the delivery?” lwj asked, rubbing any remaining tears from his eyes. Time for a new topic, before his mate started trying to defend his younger self for each of those nights.

jzxuan leaned in towards him, whispering, “A gift~” He popped back, grabbing lwj’s free hand and dragging him towards the door. “I assume from him.”

“‘Him!’ How rude!” wwx said, although lwj could see the smile tugging at his lips. Apparently, his mate quite liked the back and forth teasing he had going on with jzxuan. It was definitely better than if they had hated each other, but something about it seemed… odd. It wasn’t a bad odd. Just an odd that made him feel as though he were missing something—that something had happened between the two alphas last night, and he was witnessing the results of that.

jzxuan pulled the door open, mumbling about how since they didn’t know if all the bunnies were contained, he didn’t think he should try bringing everything in by himself—or let the delivery person inside. “Not that I think he would have come inside? He had a weird vibe. Same with the beta who delivered jyl’s food. Neither seemed willing to come inside?”

wwx snorted, although he offered no explanation for why people were afraid to enter his house. lwj would have to work on forcing that story out of him another time.

The door opened and—

“Xian-gege,” lwj said softly, taking in the rabbit supplies piled outside the door. Pens and toys. A veritable mountain of food. Bedding and an assortment of items to bunny proof the house. More than a few pet gates in an array of options.

“You like?” wwx asked, voice half-teasing, half-nervous, and lwj was once again blinking away tears. “Aiya! Don’t cry, sweetheart!”

“So emotional~” jzxuan teased softly, although when lwj glanced up, he looked at least a little concerned about his ongoing waterworks.

“Yes,” lwj simply said, rubbing the tears away again. “Does this mean… we’re keeping them all?” That seemed… excessive.

“Oh, fuck no!” wwx practically cried into the phone. “I dunno how many you want to keep, but definitely not all of them! It’ll probably take a while to get them into proper homes, though, and I don’t really want my home overrun by the things in the meantime, you know?”

lwj did know. He also did not want to be living in a home that belonged more to their new guests than to he and his mate. That said, he had no idea how he was going to choose which ones to keep.

“Think of it… as a mating gift,” his mate said softly, the lightest of blushes dusting across his cheeks, just barely visible through the screen. “One of a few! Of course! I gotta get you some of the more traditional stuff too, obviously.”

Mating gifts. lwj hadn’t even thought about that.

He definitely needed to find something wonderful for wwx

“Thank you, Xian-gege,” he said, smiling softly down at his mate.

wwx smiled back at him, soft and loving, and lwj’s heart squeezed.

How had he gotten so lucky?

#fanfic #mdzs fanfiction #wangxian #stiricidesbottomji #omegaverse

[rroku1288]

Shein is Worse Than You!

Shein has become an incredibly popular clothing brand, but what many people don't realize is how unethical their production processes are. From the poor working conditions of the factory workers who make their clothing, to the environmental impact of their fast fashion model, to the questionable quality of their clothing and its impact on consumer health, Shein is even worse than many people thought. In this essay, I will be exploring each of these topics in further detail. One of the main ethical issues that people have with Shein is the placement of kids in their clothing. The majority of its clothing is made with child labor. This includes everything from their T-shirt designs, to the logos and company websites.

The company has done an excellent job of removing this from the marketing so people can assume all of their products are made without children's labor. However, this doesn't mean that a child isn't actually working for Shein. In fact, the majority of their workers are under the age of 18. When children work for brands like Shein, they are often paid far less than their legal age limit of 15. When working for brands like this, they are also often paid less than the minimum wage, which can easily reach $8.25 per hour. While it is encouraging that the majority of the employees at this brand are under the age of 18, it is important to remember that there are still many who are under the age of 17.

By taking steps to reduce the number of underage employees in your company, you can save money, make more money, and improve the standard of living for your employees. Companies that produce Shein's clothing have been reducing the amount of sugar being produced for a few years now, but the trend is still ongoing. In all of this, we can see that Shein is still a great brand. But if we look closer, we can see that it is actually worse than we previously believed. The company has been doing this for years, and it just keeps getting worse. Furthermore, the ways that their products are made are not always in an ethical way.

The following are just a few examples: Sleeping on the floors or walls of factories that make only parts of the clothing. In this case, the workers are usually not paid enough to survive. They are often very cold, damp, and often have poor sleeping conditions. Working with poor quality fiber such as hemp or flax. While fiber is renewable and bi-annually, it is often very cheap to produce. But when fiber is produced illegally, it leads to pollution, deforestation, and a decline in the biodiversity of other earth-friendly materials.

An article by Eleonore Iyasiah D. Altubar

[asachuu]

(9/10)

Part 5.4: Stormbringer’s aftermath

Content warning: major Stormbringer spoilers, mentions of abuse.

[List of all parts]

[Part 5.1, 5.2, 5.3]

Now, as I stated before, these are not the only scenes in which there is some information revealed about the pair, but they’re the most important ones which are all we need to focus on, as the remaining are often merely confirming all that has been written in them.

Just as was with Fifteen, I couldn’t seem to figure out why people once again wished to see these two in any kind of positive romantic light, especially as their count had now increased, and I will admit that there was actually a second I began to doubt whether my own conclusions were “right”, in a particular sense, whether I wasn’t simply going too far, but I believe I can pinpoint the reason for that to the sheer amount of people who began to take interest in the ship. Even those who previously never heard of Arthur or Paul before or simply couldn’t bring themselves to care about them whatsoever suddenly seemed to turn to the side of shipping them, even if just in the form of confirming it when asked despite it not being their main area of interest, which made me consider the possibility of myself perhaps only seeing them as my discomfort and not having any genuine issues I could point out any further. That, however, is now far from the truth.

Though I assume there could be a certain handful of people who, upon reading my descriptions of these parts, already see and understand the issues I’ll speak about, I can’t say I don’t wish for that number to be higher. I’m guessing a bigger part will be left to feel conflicted at the very best, just as I did the first time I read it myself. Once I saw the fandom’s reaction to this novel, mainly its epilogue, I led myself to believe it was indeed a “redemption arc” as I thought it would have been and it was now my turn to stay away from this whole topic to let people enjoy themselves without even a single comment, but I can see I was severely mistaken with that thought. Without stalling any further, allow me to give you my thoughts as they stand right now.

From the days of Fifteen, we could only speculate on what happened between Arthur and Paul in the past and what personal relationship the two had. Seeing as Arthur showed nothing but genuine care for his partner until his very death, many people assumed the story followed that of their real-world counterparts and the two were meant to be lovers, even though many envisioned these two as far more “pure” and not reflective of their inspirations, had that truly been the case. As we have learned, while that was not explicitly written to be the case (however I do believe the intentions could have easily been there, if not actually were, and this is solely to cover all base grounds that leave no room for a hypothetical scenario in which they somehow were not), one thing was made abundantly clear— from the day the pair had met, Arthur felt genuine happiness at being able to help his partner and cared for him more than anything else, very likely due to not having, or even being allowed to have anything else of such nature. From what we get to read further and is also mentioned by Paul throughout the rest of the novel, however, we also get to understand that at the time, Paul did not appreciate anything his partner did for him, nor did he even like him in the first place. In fact, he directly states multiple times throughout the book that he hated him and all his attempts to comfort him. This, I believe, should be enough to make anyone realize that the pair should not be viewed in a light, sweet and healthy romantic context for their past together, as some people speculated on during the days of Fifteen, but it goes so much further than just their past.

In what I wrongly thought to be their “redemption”, the ending, it is very clear Paul regrets all his actions and his whole treatment of Arthur during their time together. Not only that, it is also very clear Arthur forgives him for everything and bears no grudge or resentment towards him, even though their time ended in the most tragic way it could, with no further ability to reconcile. I feel as though there is a possibility people saw this as exactly what I did at first, a reconciliation, with Paul having finally regretted everything and Arthur never faulting him for anything, but here is where I’ll leave a more harsh opinion rather than just a general statement. To me, this is merely a very important piece of character development for Paul himself, but as for Rimlaine, it didn’t get painted in a better light whatsoever. In fact, I would argue it only got far worse— I believe it doesn’t actually matter whether Paul regretted anything in this part or not, as the absolute main, directly written issues don’t only lie with him, but his partner just as well.

As shocking as that may sound to some, seeing as I have a rather soft spot for only one of these two characters and it’s quite clear which one, I cannot sit around and claim both of them aren’t free of their own problems, but there is a comment I must add to this. While I place no blame on Arthur for the entirety of both novels and am still continuing to do so, his behavior, though being the complete opposite of a guilty party/abuser and so on, is extremely overlooked, which rather concerns me, given it most certainly should not be. Just to clarify upfront, as will also be made clear, I am not implying nor stating Arthur had any bad intentions or he was hurting his partner in any way, unlike the latter. This is a different issue entirely, one with himself and nobody else, that is ultimately to his own detriment in both the novels, and is also not reliant on any headcanons at all— while Paul was a very clear reason behind the doubt and worries in both his words and his memoir due to his coldness, which is equally noteworthy here, I feel as though this is more acknowledged to an extent due to his whole arc requiring him to realize it, and a lot else which could have immediately made this ship undoubtedly an abusive one with no grey areas is mostly a pile of assumptions. While I do personally believe such things already qualify as abuse and the dynamic is precisely that, there could still be some who don’t believe it’s significant enough standalone as we ultimately don’t get to hear his words or see his actions, hence why I would like for both the sides to be seen here, and for that, I have to take the spotlight off of Paul this time, as it’s been there for long enough.

Since I don’t want to grasp onto thoughts starting with “it’s implied that…”, I will first speak about what is written for the reader to see. In Arthur’s memoir, we can find what sometimes seems to be an insignificant comment regarding him not being sure whether giving his gift to Paul was the right thing to do, but in the greater context, it’s precisely an offhand comment like that which tells us a great deal of information. Later in the epilogue, which, if I may add, is happening nine years after the memoir was written, Arthur once again brings up this very same event, “smiling sadly” as the novel itself puts it. What I first want you to remember is that it’s apparent he holds such seemingly small memories so far in his heart that he is able to think of them even in his final dying moments, additionally after having lost them all once before.

Secondly, with that in mind and knowing Arthur is written to be the kind of person to worry over such things to what is clearly enough of an extent, I have to point out the obvious. If his actions in Fifteen weren’t enough to convince anyone, he has been said to wander the world for a year later as a ghost, waiting to do something for his partner one last time despite everything that transpired to land him in that position, meaning he cared for Paul far more than the reader themselves might even be able to imagine. Even so, Paul truly was the sole reason for all the above, and in case of my own theory I base entirely off of their IRL counterparts, probably much else that isn’t written in the novel directly, though I’m not going to claim this as an indisputable fact. Whatever headcanons one may have for their past together, whether it was a more calm version of it or it was outright verbally/physically abusive in ways that aren’t considered so “subtle” to some, derived from the harsh and cruel way Paul spoke of and even to his partner later, those no longer change the fact that Arthur was made to doubt himself and his actions for years and years with no reassurance from anyone, as is shown in the part above. Still, he came back every time to follow his partner’s path, continuing to care for him as if he was the only person in the world no matter whether he was shot and abandoned for it, nor after he actually recalled those actions happening at the end of Fifteen. And that in itself is the problem.

Now, again, I blame Arthur for absolutely nothing in his situation. If one is to focus on his story, it’s evident his circumstances left him all alone, without a single soul he could even turn to, not even any friends or family left by his side at what was the age of 15-16, seeing as his death in Fifteen was at 27 years old. It’s no surprise he took a liking to Paul immediately, being happier than ever at the possibility of having a partner alongside himself whom he could make a difference to, but even without this, it would have still not been his fault or choice. Even so, the care he gave him wasn’t just mere, simple care that isn’t particularly significant. Despite how many times Paul stated he hated him the entire time during their past, Arthur is always described as the man to call him his best friend, no matter what. Not just that, despite him being made to question the righteousness of his own actions, whether even something as harmless as giving his partner a birthday gift was the correct thing to do or not, he never thought of trying to leave that partnership, not even during his time in the Port Mafia amongst entirely different people or his dying moments in which he recalled everything— after those, he even went as far as to give up his own life in exchange for Paul’s own, not even knowing whether his partner would do or say what he ended up saying. I also have to add another very important note here— while Paul’s words were clearly heartfelt, Arthur didn’t even end up hearing any of his apologies or regrets, seeing as it was already far too late for them and he’d disappeared by this time, receiving practically no acknowledgement for his doings up until his final parting.

I’ve heard some try to justify this ship by not only using Paul’s extremely late regrets, but also Arthur’s immense care towards him, saying he must have simply been in love with his partner. I’m not here to deny or fully affirm this either, but it could very well be true— in my personal opinion, the “he knew the reason why himself” line in regards to Paul seems to carry some heavy implications in it and the historical context could also very much be a major inspiration, and although the scenario of him indeed having feelings for his partner is my personal headcanon too, it’s still up to the reader to decide as it’s never confirmed without a shadow of doubt. However, regardless of whether he was or not, one thing is absolutely undeniable— Arthur cared for him a lot, far too much than is truly healthy, and such a thing can be achieved even without hurting anybody but oneself. For someone to have never said a single thing in appreciation of his actions, someone who clearly never even showed any sign that he was grateful for anything done for him, yet whom Arthur would still do anything in the world for including giving up what remained of his life, is the furthest thing away from a bond between anyone that should be glorified. The man himself even felt the need to apologize in the epilogue for trying to help his partner, likely as the result of how little Paul truly cared about him and made it known to him, whether that was done with his own active intent or not. It’s apparent he thought he was just never doing enough or doing the wrong things, that of which one could take away from all his doubts in his words and writing, but even so, he never let go of Paul, never even thought of doing such a thing for a single second— quite the opposite. Even without taking Paul’s carelessness into consideration, we can’t overlook that Arthur was nothing short of unhealthily attached to his partner and entirely stuck in a partnership that practically took his life twice, and as much as that feels like a heavy claim, I cannot see anything else in his behavior.

To follow that up, this is also why I personally don’t believe the two can be shipped together in a healthy way post-canon, as despite Paul regretting his own actions, Arthur would have absolutely no way to change such a way of thinking. Regardless of whether his partner actually ended up apologizing to him or even showing him all his overdue gratitude, it would do nothing but make him stay stuck in such a situation, now with even less of a reason to potentially ever try to think about it for any amount of time whatsoever. He’s already proven what he’s willing to do and for whom, this would do nothing but affirm his doings even further.

While a part of me, of course, cannot deny I’m saying this partially due to wishing Arthur had a much better, happier story arc with someone who actually cared about him and had him know such a thing, that is absolutely not the only reason. Please recall what I said in the very first part of this essay regarding the actual importance of treating certain fictional aspects with care and what power they truly hold, despite however many people wish to claim something is “just fiction”. All of that is important to recognize standalone, but I wrote it with the sole purpose of referring to it right now— as much as the majority of us by now can and should agree Paul’s behavior was absolutely wrong for obvious reasons, essentially making his partner believe he was doing everything wrong all the time and had to find a way to fix it, that of which I hope I have made abundantly clear is absolutely not normal, healthy or anything of that sort, we can’t pretend Arthur’s is completely fine, either. While his actions were all in good faith and they haven’t directly harmed anyone else, unlike the latter’s, they harmed himself to the extent we get to see in both novels, disregarding his own life for the sake of someone who just served to bring him even further down. To sweep this all under a rug of pretending as if it was something completely natural for anyone, for instance, is to also show that you downplay such a thing in real life, whether you intend to or not. Perhaps you find it adorable to read or so, but I feel as though in the context of the story itself, it was intended to be far more sad than anything else, with it being nothing but a self-destructive care which he had no choice but to stay in, given his circumstances.

To prevent misunderstandings due to my wording, I should emphasize once more that it’s never the individual’s fault, real-life or not, and Arthur in this case is nothing but a victim— I am merely stating such things also cannot be left to get worse and worse as time progresses, they have to be adequately addressed. This goes back to another point I made about what is and isn’t obviously wrong to people, and this happens to be one of the things which clearly are not as apparent as others— I’m sure many people could already imagine all the potential situations this could lead to, and while I probably don’t even have to start listing them, as this very novel quite literally ends with Arthur giving up his life for someone who’d only ever made him doubt himself for years, I will say that instances of people staying in situations that harm them, be it mentally or physically, for the sake of love, desperation or false senses of safety and security, isn’t something that happens every blue moon, and it’s additionally not uncommon for it to be done out of one’s own will or lack of knowledge there could be a much different life beyond it, not exclusively circumstances which don’t allow for it to be an easy decision to make. It is indisputable that this is not a “niche” issue or topic, and should not be viewed as such.

Of course, you can always think to yourself “but it’s not real, I find it sweet how much Arthur cared, and Paul apologized anyway, I’ll still ship them for it” or something of this nature in context of trying to justify outright romanticizing and dismissing this completely dysfunctional, unhealthy and dare I say abusive dynamic, and if that’s something you see no problem with despite all I have stated about it, then I can say nothing to change your mind at this point. That, however, doesn’t stop me from getting a bit concerned every time I see yet another person pretend none of this is not only implied, but explicitly written in canon, and it’s nothing other than a completely normal, cute depiction of love/care for someone or a simple “misguided” response to said care that can be fully looked past.

I believe many people could also potentially not see or understand the actual weight of such an issue themselves, to which I’ll gladly elaborate on it as someone who does far too well. The behavior depicted in the novel on Paul’s side is one that many would sadly not consider “proper abuse”, despite that being what it is, and many would subsequently not take seriously or outright dismiss, no matter how much hurt it truly causes to a person who could very well have a low chance of getting their story or experience listened to. The one on Arthur’s side is something that almost, if not directly mirrors an unfortunate mindset which can outright ruin one’s mental, even physical state in the worst cases, especially combined with other issues a person may already have including the particular situation they happen to be in, and take that from someone who has seen it happen before. As “unlikely” as some may think it is, I don’t like to think about the possibility of someone going through such a thing entering this fandom for fun and seeing not a single soul treat it with rightful care, rather making it out as the lightest thing in the world and spreading this further. Believe me, this isn’t as far-fetched of a scenario as it could sound like, seeing as this exact thing has happened in the past with a character like Dazai Osamu many times before, and I don’t believe it’s not happening right now to someone out there again, either. Many folks may not be affected by the content itself, hence why they choose to view it in the first place, but the fandom’s reactions are often inescapable when looking for more of it, and that is no longer something where any posts or thoughts can be predicted or filtered out, for better and for worse.

Still, with all that said, this isn’t even required for it to matter, at least to some degree. Though someone could attempt to tell me a stranger’s triggers aren’t their personal responsibility, which I do somewhat agree with, this isn’t an issue about it at all, rather about how you yourself think of these types of situations and what is your personal outlook on them. Even if such an audience member was never present, that still doesn’t change that these things, and especially how they’re taken to by the public, do have an influence on everyone who bears witness to them, and this influence isn’t only ever one where it leads to condemning “painfully obvious wrongs” or being just a tiny bit more careful with these kinds of subjects. I’m not saying you have to walk on eggshells, cater to absolutely everyone, never make content or speak about anything which would fall into the above category, but there is a vast difference between talking about how some unhealthy or abusive pairing— not necessarily Rimlaine anymore— is sweet, adorable and whatnot, and simply making any kind of content about these topics with their sensitivity and true nature in mind. While I’m trying to write this in a way to not be anyhow overly forceful in my stance, one thing I will say is that I don’t think this is difficult to consider— not even agree with me on anything I’ve said, but simply consider and come to your own conclusion afterwards, as no matter the result, it’s still a lot more valuable than never doing so in the first place.

To return to BSD and Rimlaine for the rest of this essay, I believe the topic of how mental health problems in general are treated in the Bungou Stray Dogs fandom is a whole separate one that should be spoken about far more and I’m glad to see it’s being somewhat taken care of in different parts and aspects of the story or the fanbase by others, but even so, I’m here to bring light to this particular one, as I am yet to see more people genuinely believe it to be noteworthy, let alone know something like that actually is there. Once again, this is no longer the same conversation that could be had at the time of Fifteen, relying mainly on which headcanon fit the story best, this is something we’ve been given right in front of our faces that some corners of the fandom now seemingly try to pretend doesn’t even exist, including those which I do believe would have changed their mind, had they seen it from this angle. I had no real use for implications, personal opinions, even heavily implied inspirations throughout this whole section, as the written text tells us enough to draw a conclusion.

A personal theory of mine as to why it’s so overlooked, even sometimes in the few minimal spaces where people genuinely believe this whole ship is not something that was intended to be anything other than a tragic mess from the very beginning, is due to what I somewhat implied higher above— what I believe is the fandom’s main interest in Paul over Arthur, not quite focusing on him as a character in favor of his partner, and thus missing an entire half of the issue with the dynamic. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with favoring one character over another, I do think in this particular case, complete dismissal leads to overlooking crucial details that make a lot of the change in how “healthy” this ship really is— mainly post-canon and post-Paul’s character change, however, as I think I have said enough to prove that the time in the pair’s past should most certainly not be viewed in this way. It doesn’t even have to be that strong, though— even if it’s lightly skipped or so, it still takes away from the true colors of what was written in the novel itself, and as much as I not only absolutely don’t wish to, but also cannot change which character people favor over another, I believe the appropriate way to mitigate such a problem is having more people speak about it, but that doesn’t quite seem to be happening.

Now, having described what I truly believe to be the issue and why, I can return to what I saw this novel cause, with the additional context of all the above.

At the beginning of this part, I used the word “shipping” as I do throughout this entire work, but I should add a bit of a disclaimer. As was in the section with Fifteen, this does not include canon studies, theorizing or imagining alternate universes to a particular extent. I’m speaking about everything I personally saw being discussed and created in a way that didn’t hint at being any of these three possibilities, nor that their original creators have ever spoken a single word even implying they believe any part of what I’ve stated here. I would naturally like to believe an argument of everything I have ever seen actually falling into the categories above without me knowing, but when there is absolutely no way for anyone to truly tell for sure and the obvious first conclusion being the creators actively shipping the pair without realizing or caring about these issues, I cannot automatically make up an excuse for such a thing, especially when I believe there definitely are many people out there who see the two in such a light. Once there is not a single disclaimer or even a subtle context hint anywhere about anything and the topic is something of this sensitiveness, you can no longer truly place blame on anyone who happens to interpret it in a wrong way.

Nevertheless, back in Fifteen’s part, I also brought up certain “concerns” I have with the aforementioned alternate universes as a whole, which I also wish to touch upon now as a part of this note. As much as this is not a definitive indicator of right or wrong, solely depending on the person’s true intentions which we absolutely cannot know in any way, I would like to still present it in case someone out there would like to stop and think about it.

A long time ago, before Stormbringer, such alternate universes were also created and imagined, but they were quite different to the ones appearing now. At the time, there was an actual possibility of this still being an instance where one or more unfortunate events occurred and destroyed an otherwise good relationship between the two partners, which I would understand if people wished to reimagine otherwise and continue the story without such a thing happening, and I get it not only in this case, but also in the case of any other pairing which met a horrible, untimely end that, if it had been avoided, wouldn’t change anything between the two. That possibility, however, was only something we could do at the time of the first novel, not the second one. Rimlaine as a canonical pairing now is not one that had one single tragedy break them apart, it was unhealthy from the beginning on both sides in very different ways. I have no deeper problem with doing the same if one wishes to imagine both of the characters without their respective issues, which all contribute to the utter mess it created, and have a world where everything is much different whilst also acknowledging the canon events— it would just not be content for me, that is all. What I would like to question are certain instances in which such a thing is not done to its full extent and people, for example, only go to erase Paul’s betrayal, nothing else. I don’t think I’m the only person who thinks taking a canonically dysfunctional/unhealthy relationship of any kind, which had been that way for the entirety of the media it belongs to, and reinventing it to make it wholesome, romantic and whatnot is a very thin and somewhat strange line to walk on, but in this case, erasing only one single part of it doesn’t even do such a thing in the first place, solely due to everything I’ve mentioned.

This also combines with another thing, why I think there is a bigger interest in this pairing now than ever before. I can wholly understand the AUs if actually done right with care or some kind of foreword, seeing as there is a particular appeal to this pairing which could be enticing to explore. This isn’t meant in the sense which romanticizes what sorrowful tale it has always been, but rather the story concept itself, and I feel like this is also something which ties back to a lot of people favoring Paul over Arthur as well, so allow me to explain.

Seeing as the overarching plot of Paul’s own story arc was his hatred for the world, claiming saving him was a mistake on its own and hating Arthur for trying to help or understand him, I can see how people who like him or focus on him far more take it from another point of view. Arthur was also “the only one” for Paul in a certain sense, he was the only one who never lost hope in him and did whatever he could to save him from destroying himself and everything else. I somewhat understand how this might be a point of interest to some, wishing for a world in which Arthur genuinely helped his partner and the two could have spent a better time together. I cannot say such a universe wouldn’t be a much happier one, but despite that, we cannot allow ourselves to forget everything that would have to change for it to be a healthy scenario, which is not only Paul’s own harsh behavior.

In any case, for this very reason, I assume it gained so much traction– indeed, it is a tragedy, one which appeals to a popular trope of late realization as well, but we cannot forget one thing. As sad as it is, as much as it may hurt people to read how both of those paths couldn’t have met in time, we absolutely cannot pretend it’s anything other than that. Whether it’s somehow beautiful to you, that’s for you to decide the true meaning of, but in no way should we pretend this story merely touches on some heartbreaking fictional tropes and doesn’t even inch towards real, genuine problems. If you wish to imagine an AU to make something else of it, I cannot tell you what I deem “right” or “wrong” in it as that’s fully up to your own mind and judgement, not some internet stranger’s, but I can only lightly encourage everyone who is going to do so to reevaluate all I’ve said and be careful what they’re truly portraying in their messages, or how they’re treating the topic itself. While I cannot stop someone who doesn’t care about the importance of such things whatsoever from doing so, I can only hope to bring this to light for the people this may actually concern.

In any case, this is all I can say for the situation up to date. As much as the context has been revealed, leaving some people understandably yearning for a better turn of events, we have to be mindful of what was genuinely presented to us as well. Works of fiction and their subsequent treatment are not as inconsequential as certain people may believe, which I have stated time and time again, especially not when they have to deal with matters that are far more serious than they seem at first, hence why it should at least be kept in mind when going to create content of them.

[Afterword]

#text post #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd fifteen #bsd stormbringer #bsd storm bringer #bsd arthur rimbaud #bsd paul verlaine #rimlaine #asachuu

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Okay, if what Tim said is true, how are they going to fit so many things in ep 12?

There's the Marjan dates, her at therapy, and even the officiants plot? Not to mention the 2 emergencies seen in the promo.

I mean, obviously something that was previously in ep 12 has been shifted to ep 13, but damn! And why shift it at all? I get the Marjan part with the therapy, since it's already been 2 episode and waiting any more time for that plot wouldn't make sense, but for the rest is a mystery. I'm kinda afraid they're going to span whatever problem the officiants bring over 2 episodes. Maybe they will talk with them this episode and delve deeper into the angst it will bring and them talking with their parents the next (assuming those talks are part of this topic).

That said I'm excited for that plot and I'm glad I (apparently) don't have to wait another 2 weeks for it. Though now I'm wondering what ep 13 will bring, especially regarding Tarlos.

Exactly my thoughts. I'm still feeling confused and unsure, but this is twice now that Tim has told us the officiants storyline is in episode 12 since it became clear that episode 12 is Swipe Left, so I think it probably is. I knew that something other than the emergencies and Marjan dating had to be in the episode, but I was thinking it would be something small. Of course, maybe the Tarlos/officiants storyline won't take up as much time as we imagine.

It does make sense to not wait to have Marjan's physical therapy coming up in episode 14. In real world time, that would be perfectly reasonable, but in Lone Star time, I'm shocked she's still dealing with the aftermath of her episode 9 injury even in episode 12 😂 Of course, they would have known this when they wrote and filmed the episodes originally, so why the need for a switch?

Maybe once we see both episodes 12 and 13, we'll be able to understand what exactly was switched and why it was done. Right now, I'm so confused why they would move a Tarlos storyline (that seems pretty major given the amount of stills we have of it) from Open to Swipe Left. I was originally thinking the title Open would relate to the storyline, as the episode titles frequently can be applied to most if not all storylines in the episode, so that makes it even more confusing. Again, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. All we know is that they're looking for officiants. We don't know exactly what's going on or what complication arises.

I do agree that it's good we don't have to wait another two weeks to see what's going on with this whole thing, though. I've been dying to see these scenes since the stills were released, and I'm feeling it even more after Tim's recent comments about a new complication arising!

I also wonder what else is in episode 13! Hopefully we'll get that synopsis soon. Maybe the switch was in part due to the issue with the amount of episodes Rafa can be in. Since we know Carlos shows up in the Marjan dating storyline and the Tarlos/officiants storyline that was originally in Open, possibly they had to push the two into one episode. That way, Carlos could be absent from 13, appear in 14, appear in 15 or 16, and appear in both 17 and 18. That would make more sense to me than him being absent from both 15 and 16 because I feel like at least some of the future Tarlos scenes must be happening in one of those two episodes.

#answered ask #lone star speculation

[fakerbatch]

Sorry, I know this has been talked about. But I do not quite understand. My question is: How did Amanda and Martin end their relationship? What exactly happened? They were very suspicious. In less than a year, they had been flirting for months. Of course, at The Hobbit, Martin did not treat Amanda as friendly, as if something had happened, and three years later their relationship ended!😶

In fact, Sherlock changed everything, Martin and Benedict's fame and relationship changed completely, they became more famous, then they ended their long relationship, Benedict with Olivia and Martin with Amanda 😶

And then once Benedict meets a woman who looked like his sister (they look alike) and they get married and have children. All of this happens in less than a year. 🙄

I've even heard that Amanda does not watch Sherlock because it reminds her of bad times.☠️

Excuse me, can you explain these topics to me? Thank you for your good blog🙏🏻♥️

Well I will try to give you my perspective, which is just what I knew and remember, and my assumptions. Amanda yea had been making lots of comments about Martin not doing his part with the kids, in interviews for several years around Hobbit time (so 2013 ish). It was clear even then she was very bitter his career came before hers when conflicts came up (but once one makes that much money money Um duh). And even Martin made some more respectful marriage is hard statements, perhaps a little later.

I’m not going to remember dates (so this is all 2014-2015ish) but Martin’s mum died, spent time in a hospice where he visited a lot. Her death might have made him reevaluate because not too long after there was a time he didn’t work for many months, maybe focusing on his relationship (they’ve made it very clear, both even recently, that they were never married) and helping with the kids? He also started working out (it was clear he rarely had previously in his life) and has looked amazing since then.

January of 2016 he went to Puerto Rico to film StartUp She visited once with the kids and there were some super bitter tweets from her. December 2016 Martin confirmed it in an article that they’d broken up when he got home from there just before Sherlock filming. A group of us suspected by summer that they had been broken up for months, due to multiple sightings of him off alone getting food during filming, repeatedly alone in Soho at non filming times, Amanda’s tweets suggesting she was alone driving to filming, etc. It was mostly her constant whining that was the clincher though and showing off how tight she was with her bestie Rebecca doing tons of stuff with her. And the group of new piercings/tattoos and I think an intense hair cut by the fall had us totally convinced. Also Martin did one of his product pictures and you could see something on the wall that used to be in his house but was clearly in a new place. So anyway we were completely sure by fall but barely mentioned it at all here because of the hate we’d get. And sure enough two or so days before his interview where he admitted it dropped (and maybe that’s why they waited, get Sherlock promo done?) they had that screening and a few of us pointed out they were sitting separately. No not hating just observing and oh man did the nasty trolls jump on us about how hateful we were and how wildly in love they were. 🙄

Anyway they have both mentioned how hard that filming was so I can imagine she doesn’t watch Sherlock (but I never thought any of them were too into going back to watch it tbh and she also could not watch it because she had shown many signs of being jealous of Ben, yes even if he and M were only friends). We can’t know why exactly they broke up, it’s usually long-term and complicated reasons. She has OTT hinted many times he was cheating (and possible he was maybe in PR) but she also can really be an attention seeking liar and everyone always just assumes the more famous one, or the man, or both, cheated. What I don’t think it was was anything to do with fans or Enty’s BI. Famous couples have learned how to just ignore that noise and not let it affect their relationship.

Hope that helps, but my memory isn’t great so might have missed out something! Also yes fame can change things for couples generally, although It was newer for Ben and he dove into it.

[kristinlubao]

Learnings and Journey through Writing in New Media

My very first impression of the subject is that this is not as necessary as the other subjects that I take, specially since it just talks about the proper use of New Media, which I first thought that I could easily learn by myself. But, as I go on with this class, day by day, I realized that what this subject teaches is more than proper use of new media. Being a person living in a time where everything can be seen through new media, and being able to post about almost anything online, learning the laws, terms, and the responsible use of it (new media) is very important.

One of the things that I learned is the careful look on your target audiences using demographics such as age, gender, occupation, and sex. This is something that I usually look pass over because I always get lost in my own thoughts when writing about something. I almost always just keep my narrative in my own favor, instead of taking into consideration what others feel. Another thing that I learned was what was taught near the end of our semester which is the libel and copyright. I am actually exposed to trending topics that tackles libel which is a type of defamation. Assuming that many of you already know, there was a case that was highly televised which is the defamation case of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp in which an article that Amber Heard wrote actually affected the integrity and character of Johnny Depp, which is Amber’s ex husband. Freedom of speech is always the talk of the town but as we learned in our classes in this subject, writing to hurt or to damage anyone’s character is never a right thing that is why it is punishable by law.

The evolution of new media and how people now share their opinions have become more convenient and readily available for literally everyone. But with this comes a great responsibility in which people should always be mindful of what they say because it may cause misleading information and, as I have stated previously, may hurt other’s character. This is something that will forever be ingrained in my mind. This is because I have also become a careless person who likes to share whatever that I please and have never really been fully responsible in the use of new media. Responsibility doesn’t only apply to those who post online, but also to those who consume these writings, these posts.

That is why we, as the users of new media, should always be responsible whether we are the sender or the receiver of writings in new media. This is something that I can contribute to the world so that the negativity and false statements will start to lessen since practice will only be visible when it is put into action.

Don’t wait for someone to start acting responsible, responsibility should start with you. With me. With every single one of us.

Side Note:

I would like to thank my teacher for this subject for guiding us in the proper use of writing in the new media, as well as teaching us everything there is when writing in the new media, whether it be the proper process, responsibility, or technical aspects of it. Thank you also for teaching us to look at the positive side of life - to not spread even more negativity when there is full of it. Thank you for not implying your personal opinions and for staying in the middle ground all throughout the topics discussed.

#thankyou writinginnewmedia BMMA

[ndvenvs3000w23]

Blog 10: My personal beliefs, goals, and ethics as a nature interpreter

Hi everyone, welcome back to my final blog post of this term! I’m very sad that this will be my last post, but I am excited to share my final thoughts regarding this entire course as well as deeply interacting with this week’s blog prompt. So without further adieu, let’s get into my personal thoughts and ethics behind being a nature interpreter.

As someone who is an avid nature explorer and viewer, I feel that this course truly attacked and challenged my understanding of being a nature interpreter, and I am very grateful for it. I had never thought about the importance of being a guide to others in helping people experience nature through a focused lens, but that is the main idea that I got from this course as a whole. I am going to first focus on reiterating what my definition of a nature interpreter is, after which I will cover the specific roles I believe nature interpreters have in our society before ending with my personal beliefs and ethics of being a nature interpreter.

Being a nature interpreter is more than just a job or a role in a community, it is centered around being a leader. As I have discussed in many of my previous blog posts, a nature interpreter is someone who is trying to inform the naivete of the importance of nature and its role in their lives (Beck et al., 2018). They try to bridge the gaps in individuals’ knowledge in an attempt to broaden their understanding and encourage them to make active steps towards a more sustainable lifestyle (Beck et al., 2018). Going off this, we can assume that nature interpreters can be anyone who is passionate about nature and who shares their knowledge with others. This could likely be anyone from a professor to a park ranger to just a passionate individual.

Currently, there are many issues we are experiencing in our world such as climate change, habitat degradation, and multiple other factors. As someone who is in Environmental Science, these topics are something I am very passionate about as I am actively learning about them through my classes as well as outside of my education. It can feel like a big responsibility to take the role of a nature interpreter, because looking at the bigger picture can be extremely overwhelming. This is often why, in my opinion, many people ignore or disregard environmental issues because being aware of the topic can feel terrifying. However, to avoid this, it can be important to view the issue as the smaller steps you can take to improving everything. For example, instead of thinking about the idea as a whole, it is good to start small, such as improving your surrounding area by being active in your community or by joining clubs with like-minded individuals. This is why nature interpreters have such an important role: they act as the guide to show people the small steps they can take, or even just making them aware of the things they might not have known of previously. This way, they are not overwhelming them with a large amount of concerning information, but instead introducing the topic in small steps to make it more approachable.

It can be quite upsetting when you really think about it though, hence the importance of introducing the topic in smaller steps. It can often feel hopeless and that our efforts are null in the big picture of things. When you consider the impacts that some industries have on the environment, it can feel like using reusable bags or reducing your food waste is not enough to cancel out the drilling of oil or the mining practices worldwide, especially when considering the pollutants that are released from those activities. However, it is my personal belief that while some of our smaller efforts might not make a big enough impact, we are so much stronger as a whole. It’s a silly example, but similar to Disney's “A Bug’s Life”, the ants are controlled by the grasshoppers because their outlook has always been that one individual is powerless against a single grasshopper, let alone a small gang of them (Lasseter, 1998). When they realize that there are hundreds of them, and only a handful of grasshoppers, they are powerful enough to eradicate the tyranny of the grasshoppers and begin again (Lasseter, 1998). I view this as a metaphor to the current situation we are in. The people in power believe they have the upper hand, but there are billions of us to their few hundred, and banding together would surely be enough to enact a widespread change. This is my thought at least, that if enough people are up in arms about something, then something would have to be done. This is why it is so important to educate people on this topic, because the more people who join the cause, the more power we have in overturning certain activities.

This mindset can start to sound a little controversial at times, but if we keep continuing down the road we are on, there will be disastrous consequences to the good of our planet and the human race. What’s funny is that the Earth has gone through so many mass extinctions over its 4 billion years of life, and it has always rebounded (Ritchie, 2022), yet we think that we are a permanent aspect of this world. It is therefore this mindset that we need to get around: we as the human race are not permanent, as nothing is truly permanent on this Earth. The Earth is a closed system that is fueled through its internal processes that maintain an equilibrium, and we just happen to be along for the ride (BBC World, 2012). A great example of this is the idea of the Snowball Earth, presented by Paul F. Hoffman (BBC World, 2012). Let's take a deep dive into what the Snowball Earth is, and how this applies to the topic at hand

Snowball Earth is the idea that the world froze over from pole to pole approximately around 2.4 billion and 540 million years ago (Britannica, 2024). Hoffman had many pieces of evidence to back up his claim, such as the dropstones that are found around the equator (dropstones are large stones/boulders that are held in icebergs which are dropped into a body of water as over time) (Young, 2009; Britannica, 2024). However, we know that the negative feedback loop that maintains our climatic system consists of water absorbing a lot of heat from the sun to warm up the area (hence why coastal cities are warmer) and ice reflecting that solar radiation back into the atmosphere (hence why the Arctic is so cold and why climate change reducing the ice caps is so concerning) (Center for Science Education, n.d.). How then, did the Earth return to what it is today if it was entirely frozen (i.e., all solar radiation reflected back due to ice creating a positive feedback loop to maintain the cold temperatures)? The answer lies within volcanic activity, which occurs regardless of the surface conditions (Young, 2009; BBC World, 2012). With this volcanic activity, ice melted and sulfur gas and carbon dioxide are released, which are very powerful greenhouse gasses (EPA, 2024). This gas increased the amount of heat absorbed in the atmosphere, which over time melted the ice caps enough for some areas of liquid water to occur, which, due to its high heat capacity, was able to return the Earth back to its normal climatic conditions (BBC World, 2012). 

While this example seems a little off topic, it greatly applies to the message I am trying to get across: nothing is promised, and the Earth is able to maintain itself, regardless of whether we are here or not. With this in mind, we are able to see that our mindset that we have conquered the Earth is not accurate, and if we keep using these limited resources as if they are unlimited, we are going to drive the world into something that we cannot return from; but the Earth can. 

This belief may seem to contradict what I said earlier about taking small steps, but I am viewing this as the end goal, whereas the small steps are the processes we need to take in order to reach this goal. This reinforces the importance of nature interpreters in being the guide for these small steps. We need to slowly introduce the topic to entice people to learn more, and we will eventually reach a point where those people will want to do something, which is where this second role of nature interpreters comes in. Therefore, nature interpreters can come in two varieties: those who are working with the naive, and those who are working with the knowledgeable. They both have the same end goal, they are just at different stages of the process.

Overall, this topic is something that is extremely important to me. I believe that understanding this might encourage others to change their mindset from viewing the Earth as something we control to something that we need to work with. The Earth is a self-maintaining system, and our attempts to mold its processes to suit ourselves is futile. We need to take a step back from our ego-centric lives and view everything as a whole, not just and ends to a means. This is the role I see for nature interpreters, and it is the role that I hope to achieve in the future. Our planet should be considered a safe haven, a gift; not something that we are in control of, but something that we are partnering with to sustain ourselves and our futures.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my beliefs on what I think it means to be a nature interpreter, and the responsibilities I feel we owe not just to ourselves, but to the Earth as a whole. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic, and how our views might differ or coincide. Enjoy!

References

BBC World. (2012, December 23). Snowball Earth. Dailymotion. https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xw5nro 

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: 

For A Better World. Sagamore Venture. 

Britannica, T. Editors of Encyclopaedia (2024, March 14). Snowball Earth hypothesis. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/science/Snowball-Earth-hypothesis

Center for Science Education. (n.d.). Climate Feedback Loops and Tipping Points. Feedback Loops Can Be Positive or Negative. https://scied.ucar.edu/learning-zone/earth-system/climate-system/feedback-loops-tipping-points 

Environmental Protection Agency. (2024, February 16). Overview of Greenhouse Gasses. Greenhouse Gas Emissions. https://www.epa.gov/ghgemissions/overview-greenhouse-gases#:~:text=In%20general%2C%20fluorinated%20gases%20are,nitrogen%20trifluoride%20(NF3). 

Lasseter, J. (Director). (1998). A Bug’s Life [Film]. Pixar

Ritchie, H. (2022, November 30). There have been five mass extinctions in Earth’s history. Our World in Data. https://ourworldindata.org/mass-extinctions#

Young, G. M. (2009). Snowball earth hypothesis. Encyclopedia of Earth Sciences Series, 907–910. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4020-4411-3_211 

[mystichologrammaker]

The 3 Biggest Disasters in merakitmainan History

A vital distinction we need to be crystal clear about prior to we look at the 4 phases your partnership will pass through as part of your journey to a real cuckolding Way of living may be the distinction between hotwifing and cuckolding, and infidelity and affairs.™

The straightforward difference is with hotwifing and cuckolding a man's spouse has other sexual companions with his expertise, consent and approval. Normally It really is even pushed by The person, not less than to start with, mainly because it's a deep seated fantasy he has.

Now we know that we could explore the four levels I mentioned previously mentioned. Almost every marriage where cuckolding turns into the norm passes by these stages, and it's important to realise These are completely natural and ordinary. The only thing I'll warn you of is as you Every the final phase, then it's all seriously out within your fingers.

You can be a cuckold, similar to you needed to be, and there'll be no means of likely back, even if you need to. We will see why This is certainly Soon.

Phase one: Ignorance.

This is when the man has the fantasy, but his wife is aware practically nothing of it. She does not even know she won't know. In the event you requested her about acquiring excess-marital intercourse, she'd right away visualize infidelity and affairs, and, assuming your marriage is powerful, would probably be repelled by The theory.

Stage two: Recognition.

When you've broached the topic together with her and stated the distinction between hotwifing and cuckolding, and possessing an affair she's mindful of it and, Except if she's lifeless-set towards it to the extent she would not even take a look at it, she'll be in search of information on the topic and asking you a great deal of questions about it.

This stage can past quite a while and it's important not to rush matters -- due to the fact as soon as she's really had sex with An additional man, then whilst she will be able to end and never ever do it all over again, it's difficult to put back again the clock and unfuck the male.

Stage three: Exploration.

This is when she's accomplished it and she's liked it... and she's prepared to do far more of it.

But there is certainly however some Component of her that is Doubtful and he or she's telling herself The explanation she's accomplishing it's for you. She'd stop any time you asked, and she or he's consistently examining along with you that It is really however Okay.

Phase 4: Life-style.

Immediately after a while, your beloved undergoes a deep and profound adjust.

At this stage, without having her even realising it, she has grown into her role as a sexually liberated hotwife. She's free within the constraints of Culture which, if she was an individual girl, would probably judge her harshly.

Instead, she's a decent married lady who has the advantage of unlimited retailers for her sexual Vitality.

At this time she is performing it for herself... and when you asked her to prevent the would not.

It's not that she's cruel or unloving, It truly is more that the deep and profound adjust has built her so she could see no reason for halting.

Guys whose wives development to this stage are inside of a bed of their own personal producing. They have asked, and in many cases begged for this, and when they can prevent it by leaving the marriage, if they want to stay in it, then they've got to grasp she has lovers and that's last.

She is going to probably contain you in her sexual exploits, letting you to watch and listen, but it really's now not about you. It really is about her.

In the acute, she might have a Dwell-in lover, and when you are still No. 1 regarding her adore and loyalty, with regards to sexual intercourse you may be relegated to the slave, serving both of these at their whim.

The point to recollect Is that this: be pretty, incredibly, cautious what you want for.

Some of the commonest thoughts between individuals who extravagant model trains relate to model train scale. How do the assorted scales vary, and which of them are the most popular? Which a single is the greatest model teach scale for me?

The selection of model prepare scales may be perplexing because there are numerous well known scales to select from. Some prepare fanciers even combine scales within their setup, actually. The relationship of a prepare's true dimensions to the size in the product is named scale.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CMrwEELH0V0/hqdefault_790033.jpg

The most popular model practice scales are shown beneath so that you can recognize the differences. I've demonstrated the approximate genuine sizing for a person inch of model dimensions, to assist you visualize Just about every scale's proportion. The list commences with the biggest styles and ranges to your smallest.

Product Coach Scale Comparison

G Scale: LGB model trains and G scale design trains tend to be the product trains which have been the most important well-liked scale. G scale is commonly called back garden scale due to the significant dimensions. They can be pretty very easy to operate, and don't derail simply. G scale does, even so, acquire up lots of space, as well as paraphernalia is often pricey.

Which happens to be your very best product practice scale decision? You have to take into account your kereta api rail king situation to choose. Ideally this synopsis of design coach scale has helped you to definitely comprehend the choices also to decide which scale most accurately fits your wishes, demands and budget.

[snifflesthemouse]

Harry’s the Problem. His wife is the symptom. He is the real Diana 2.0 Wannabe...

         Since the Oprah interview aired, my whole perspective regarding the spare and his spouse has shifted. It would seem that I’m not alone in my thought process as more and more media outlets start reporting similar stances. Just recently, there was an article suggesting Harry didn’t change; but rather, he is only finally revealing his true self. The more I think about it all, the more I’ve come to the realization #6 is the real culprit behind everything.

         I’m not saying that his wife doesn’t have her own agenda or shares responsibility for her part in all this. Her hands are far from clean. What I am saying is it’s finally time for all of us to consider the cold, hard truth. Harry is his mother’s child. Harry is the bad egg, and his wife is only a side effect of the real problem here.

         Had it not been for the Oprah interview, I would have never put it all together. The problem with oversharing is too much information gets put out in the public. Most assume PR firms would worry about oversaturation in the press, but the real problem comes from personal interviews they cannot control in real-time. Puff pieces can be edited before publishing so facts and statements align; live interviews cannot. Over time, one of two patterns form from this oversaturation. Consistencies, repetitions, and similarities can be found in oversaturated truth-telling. Inconsistencies, changes, and huge differences result from those like Harry who prefer their trousers scorching hot from bursting into flames from deception. When you consistently lie, the only constant is the inconsistencies. 

         Now, those of us who have been following these two already know by now inconsistencies and changing stories should be expected. But the Oprah interview really highlighted some interesting things I had previously missed. The interview with Dax Shephard only solidifies my theories. Up until lately, those two have been together through most everything. Very seldom have we seen Harry alone in an interview or speech. There’s never a time where the missus isn’t popping up. James Corden proved that. Then we have the Oprah interview where she was supposed to be the star of the show. But, that was the moment it all changed. That interview was the moment she became the understudy. 

          Think about it. Who is the one being used in the media lately? Most people would suggest that the impending delivery of child number dos is why the missus is absent. One would then argue the Apple + special with Oprah started production well before the second child was a topic for discussion. The missus is being used less and less on camera or in the media. Everything is all about Harry. Forget about when Harry met Sally; Harry Met Hollywood! 

         Harry is the one doing the interviews, dropping projects, and talking with big Hollywood names. Even their announced Netflix projects are focused on one of Harry’s pre-married concepts. All the wife has going for her is a book that’s only number one in the “Books written by ex-Royals who couldn’t hack it” category. Seriously though, as of this posting the Bench is #2130 on the Amazon Books list, #12 in Children’s Black and African American Story Books, #73 in Children’s Emotions Books, and #167 in Children’s Family Life Books. Being pregnant isn’t a disqualifier for being interviewed. But, apparently being just the wife is.

         So, if it was his wife’s plan from the beginning to marry Harry, get him to abandon his family, move to California, and become a big star with a Prince for a husband, her plans have been ruined. And if you think about what she said in the interview with Oprah, you can actually see the moments she told us all exactly that. She clearly tells Oprah Harry was her direct link and source to the Royal Family and everything she needed to know. She didn’t misspeak or misunderstand a thing; she was telling us that Harry’s next to be markled. In every weird answer or revelation where she gave her versions for why their child(ren) were without title, saying they wed three days before the chapel, or having to cry out to HR since Harry failed to help her while she was so depressed she wanted to kill herself and her unborn child... all of it. It was all just the beginning. It may seem like she is attacking her husband’s family, but Harry’s the real target now.

          In just a couple sentences, she managed to reveal who Harry really was. Harry, of all people, should (and does) know how to navigate the press. Clearly, he failed to not only help her acclimate to Royal life, but it could also even be argued he set her up for failure for the get go. Let me give you an example. When my husband introduced me to his family for the first time, he told me little tidbits of information he found important for me to know. He essentially prepped me for the meeting so things went well. He wanted his family to like me because he loved me. I wanted them to like me because I loved him, too. So, I took to heart everything he told me. Yet, Harry’s wife shared with the world how little Harry cared about that. She credits Fergie with teaching her to curtsey, google for teaching her the National Anthem, and even said Her Majesty made her feel especially welcomed. So how did Harry not do more? If they started seeing one another in the early Summer of 2016, how is it Harry failed to teach or explain anything to her prior to meeting his grandmother, the Queen, when he had months and months of time to do so? How is it he failed his wife so miserably, she didn’t even understand basic UK custom, laws, or protocols? Why might you ask?

         Simply put, Harry is so much like his mother, all he knows is how to play the victim narrative while using the link to the Royal family as a nonstop ATM machine. Many people aren’t honest with themselves when it comes to Diana. She wasn’t the Mother Theresa everyone makes her out to be. Mother Theresa wasn’t a Mother Theresa either, though. Did Diana do some great things? Absolutely. Did she do them only because they were nice or great? Absolutely… not. Diana’s PR team would even have her switch up her charity causes whenever they felt it was getting to martyrdom level. They’d refer to her PR stunts as flavors. Does that sound like an innocent woman?

         Not to me. This whole time we all have seen his wife as the root of all issues, but she’s the side effect. It’s becoming more clear by the day that Harry searched out her. He wanted someone with the basic Hollywood connections that he could capitalize. Someone that seemed so controlling and ambitious it would be easy to believe they were controlling him, too. Of course he knew she would invite all the celebs she did. He probably inspired that guest list. Instead of guiding her in the press and in British society, he leads her to slaughter. He hides behind her repeated gaffes and wokeness to keep on his own mission.

         You see, Harry is obsessed with his brother eventually becoming king, being the “Second Son of Diana” and being the misfit. He is obsessed with his brother and father. They are all he talks about. When you obsess on something like that, it is more revealing than anything you say. Harry’s true motives aren’t protecting his wife and children. His real motive is making a name for himself like his mother did. If he can manage to get some revenge by making the Firm feel some backlash, hey that’s a bonus. 

         While his wife may think in her mind she will be the next Diana 2.0, the truth is we all missed who really will be. Harry is the one wanting to be Diana 2.0. If that’s the case, then that means the much older spouse for whom there are two children with, aka the wife, would be his Charles. Remember, Diana lost her HRH and titles. And we have Harry being very aggressive and pushy, to the point it seems he is trying to get ahead of a Palace announcement of them losing their titles. But it makes sense now.

         They aren’t trying to lose anything, but instead Harry keeps opening his mouth to create pressure in the media. He knows his wife does not want to give those titles back. But if he himself keeps saying outrageous things, then it would put everyone in ultimatum mode. Either Harry will push hard enough that Parliament and the Queen will have enough, or the press will get so critical of the two, Harry will push his wife to agree to returning the titles.

         Harry is following the Diana business model. While in the Royal Family, they both were seen as rock stars who had more star power the the Sovereign, which was an issue. Then, they couldn’t take all the abuse, coldness, and inhumanity, so they bolted for freedom. Instead of putting the past behind them, they use the past to monetize grief and trauma in such a way, they become their own brand. Right now, the trauma being monetized comes from the past, but the problem will soon come when that trauma is tapped out. He will need a source of new pain or victimhood. Enters the wife stage left.

          The wife is a tool. She of course has her own plans and thinks she is the one in control or the genius. She thinks she is the one everyone wants to work with. But it’s becoming clear to her that isn’t the case and she’s been played by her elite buddies. They all want him, not her. They all duped her for him. If I can see it, and I can see her already finger pointing that Harry is the failure here, then she can see it. And that means paradise will soon be lost in those Montecito hills. His wife won’t go down without a serious fight here. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she eventually causes him to lose his special visa. 

         Overall, Harry hides behind his wife like a beard or shield protecting him from the press’s glaring lens. He lets her do and say whatever she thinks is great so he can keep plotting his own plans. He allows her to take the fall, look stupid, pull stunts people can see through, etc. for a reason. He isn’t completely sure he can make it in his new California life. He knows he can’t if he keeps her for too long, but he also knows he needs an exit strategy in case it blows up. So, he pins the press to attack her as the true culprit. If they split and he has to, he can return home and play the victim of her. If they split and he is doing okay in Hollywood, she can be the reason he plays victim to big named people like Oprah and Gayle. 

         I can see it now. An Oprah Special with Harry tonight on Apple +. Something cheesy or corny that is almost plagiarism. Like Narcissus and the Prince or something. Watch. Mark my words. Oprah talking to Harry about surviving the marriage while trying to rescue two small kids, being in the spotlight as a Royal while being gaslit by a narcissistic wife… yes I can see the green screen set up now.

         I know this is difficult to digest, but I do ask you to try. While his wife is not innocent, she clearly is guilty for her own part indeed, his wife isn’t the true problem. The true problem here is a man who has a serious issue with living in the shadow of his future-King father and future-King brother, and his future-King nephew, that he has chosen to use the same exact attack model his own mother used to merch and marginally disrupt the institution that made her a star. Harry and his mother both wanted the entire spotlight, but both knew they could never have it the way they wanted it. So, they wrote their own victimhood narrative.

         And here we are now. Mark my words. Harry will keep pushing until those remaining titles are removed by them forcing the hands of Parliament and the Queen. Or, they’ll push and push in the press so much the outrage and hypocrisy will leave them no other option but to renounce and re-gift those titles and rights to the line of succession. That is what he wants, even if his missus doesn’t. Also make no mistake about it. Harry is the real Diana 2.0 wannabe, not his wife. Keep an eye out. I have this gnawing feeling that soon enough, there will be plenty leaks from the wife about the husband. She won’t go quietly into the Beverly Hills… but neither will he.

#megxit #6 #harryswife #yankeewally #murky meg #diana2.0