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MLC Amnesia Fic (What's Sealed Away)

It was one thing to know what his qi felt like in his meridians–although he didn’t know what his neili was called, only that it had a name–and to know that, if he started running his sword forms, his arms and legs would guide him where his mind couldn’t. Muscle memory felt familiar. Reliable. But this? This free-floating knowledge, not connected with any event, any memory, any movement or motion? Just facts appearing in his mind? Assertions he was supposed to accept unquestioningly as truth? With no memory of how he learned them? Nothing to prove their validity? He clenched his hand around his dao’s scabbard. There had to be a better way than this.

NOTES:

I had a ton of feels about the differences between DFS and a-Fei, different types of memory and what is and isn’t lost in the sheer mindfuckery that is amnesia (very loosely inspired by my own experiences with amnesia), and a desire to explain some of the weird behaviors in the amnesia arc (why a-Fei spends so much time away from everyone else in the Mountains Red arc–-which LLH justifies with a lie about a-Fei sleeping instead, why LLH never tells FDB that it’s dangerous and painful for a-Fei to get his memories back, etc.), and thus this fic was born.

TW/CW: amnesia, body horror (finding the mind control bug), panic attack (to skip the panic attack, stop at “he pressed his shaking hands against the sheets” and start again at “His pulse finally started to slow.”)

Thanks to @momosandlemonsoda for being an amazing beta reader!!

Relationship: Di Feisheng/Li Lianhua (with hints of future difanghua)

#guys I AM SO EXCITED TO READ THIS #I HAVE BEEN EAGERLY DEVOURING THE WIP WEDNESDAY SNIPPETS #I AM EXCITE #:D :D :D #mysterious lotus casebook #di feisheng #li lianhua #di feisheng x li lianhua #other people's fic #fic recs

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Liu Xueyi as Xie Yuchen, The Lost Tomb 2

#xie yuchen #the lost tomb explore with the note #tlt2 xiao hua is my favorite xiao hua and always will be #is a saved tag for a reason #(...or it was when tumblr still saved tags) #(i've given up on ever having saved tags again at this point) #(and yes i'm still devastated) #(😭😭😭)

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#kitties! #needs tags #not tud

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#dmbj #gideon the ninth #polls #tumblr polls #sorry ladies #it's dmbj for me #fixaidea art #dmbj fanart #fanart

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the best part of cailian manor arc and probably the whole series is that llh is immune to drowning. he puts on the wedding dress, falls into the corpse lotus lake, sinks for a bit but then simply swims back to the surface and gets out of the water. the reason he can do that isn’t that he is a man and therefore stronger than the all the brides that died there before him — he is a character whom the corpse lotus lake recognises as lotus, not body. the body is li xiangyi who has been narratively decomposing in the sea and nurturing li lianhua on the shore for the past decade. lianhua is the lotus grown from the dead body of xiangyi, so of course he floats

#mysterious lotus casebook #li xiangyi #li lianhua #mlcb meta #O_O #...OH #food for thought

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me too, buddy. me fucking too

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #murderbot quotes #THE MOST RELATABLE TBH #TT^TT #anxiety

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Poll for writers and artists

Whether you write fanfic or original works or paint/draw, be it fan art or original work or whatever else - I have to know, because I have a feeling this is going to be very decisive:

Please reblog for sample size!

#polls #tumblr polls #my answer to the first question is a resounding YES IT WOULD BOTHER ME #my answer to the second is a qualified 'no it wouldn't' #generally speaking i'm totally fine with human-made transformative works of my works #where it starts to get sticky for me is of people want to use an idea i'm planning on writing myself #or continue a work of mine that i plan to continue myself #then i get a little twitchy #but otherwise it feels hypocritical to say 'no you can't make fanwork of the fanwork i made of someone else's work' #you know?

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WIP Wednesday (MLC amnesia fic edition)

Happy Wednesday! I'm taking one more week off sharing excerpts of my long fic to share bits from the amnesia/discovering mind control bug fic! (It's finally all drafted and will hopefully be posted on AO3 soon!) Enjoy! (You can find the previous excerpt here.)

“A-Fei,” Li Lianhua murmured, his voice shaky as though it had been drawn from a-Fei’s own lungs. His pupils dilated as his gaze slid to his waistband, then trailed a burning path from a-Fei’s navel to his throat, before fixing on his lips. “This isn’t–” He swallowed, his finger twitching against the band of a-Fei’s pants. “You don’t remember all the reasons we shouldn’t.”

That was all the answer he needed. “I don’t care,” a-Fei said, lurching forward to cup Li Lianhua’s face with his hand. “Neither should you.”

For an instant, Li Lianhua leaned into the touch, his eyes falling closed, and his head tipping back with a shuddering exhale.

Then he pulled away, lowering a-Fei’s hand with him. “I can’t. I can’t, a-Fei.”

This didn’t make any sense. He obviously wanted to. What was stopping him?

Oh. Of course. “Is there someone else? Fang Duobing?”

Li Lianhua’s eyes bulged. “What?”

It didn’t take long to come to a decision. “I don’t mind sharing,” he said with a nod.

Li Lianhua flushed. “Why would you–it’s not–he’s my–” he spluttered helplessly, before abandoning any attempt at an excuse and hitting him on the arm instead. “Don’t be ridiculous. And anyway, I’ve seen your so-called sharing at dinner. No thanks.”

A-Fei crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re not a chicken leg. And that wasn’t sharing. I know the difference.” He couldn’t exactly remember sharing things in the past, but he couldn’t remember most things at the moment, so that didn’t have to mean anything. And regardless, it was just another skill to master. He could do it.

Li Lianhua was worth it.

#mysterious lotus casebook #li lianhua #di feisheng #di feisheng x li lianhua #other people's fic #fic recs #aaaaaaah #I LOVE THIS #i love how decisive a fei is #and how the idea that not wanting li lianhua is so inconceivable to him that it doesn't even enter into his thoughts as a possibility #SUCH GOOD TENSION HERE #:D :D :D

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There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

#chronic illness #chronic pain #neurodivergence #THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS #every time my therapist says to me 'but don't you have any fun things you're looking forward to this summer you get you through?' #then we ONCE AGAIN have to have the discussion about how every fun thing i've ever done comes with an anxiety cost #because i KNOW i'm taking time away from other things i SHOULD be doing to do the fun thing #so at this point i am incapable of ding anything relaxing without also being REALLY REALLY STRESSED ABOUT IT #and also how all relaxing things done in public come with unseen emotional labor and executive function needs that also increase anxiety #like will i have fun at pottery? #yes! #will i enjoy showing off what i made? #hell yeah! #but at every point along the way there is a low level mantra in my head of the time i'm wasting #and of how much i can do before i've fucked up my back for the whole week #it's not fun #*sigh*

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Better watch out! I'm big brave elephant.

🐘

#elephants #needs tags #not tud

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if you don‘t personally own one but your roommates/parents do and you are allowed to use it, that counts as yes

#generation gaps #i picked the last option #but i did actually own not one but two ironing boards and irons #i just only really ever use them if i'm making bookcloth #or making appliques or pressing seams while sewing #😅😅😅 #polls #tumblr polls #irons #ironing #i'm from the tail end of gen x

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Hou Minghao, Chen Duling, Tian Jiarui, Cheng Xiao, Lin Ziye, Xu Zhenxuan, Yan An & Lai Weiming for iQIYI’s Fangs of Fortune (formerly The Story of Mystics).

#fangs of fortune #hou minghao #chen duling #dmbj cast #mlcb cast #👀👀👀 #on the strength of that casting alone #...YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION #but those images are stunning too #queue you hear the people sing?

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In Blossom behind the scenes- ghost market disguise

#in blossom #pan yue #liu xueyi #...omg that is a LOOK #*_*

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My turn… (Unmute !)

#puppies! #needs tags #not tud

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according to dahuang's official xhs account on their latest post, she'll be working with zeng shunxi again for 《临江仙》, and in the comments we got this delightful knowledge as well 🐶

User XiYanXiYu (Xi): "You agents had better watch over Dahuang carefully, I fear that Zeng Shunxi won't be able to help himself and will take Dahuang back home to keep 😂 Xiao Xi must be very happy"

[Dahuang's account]: "Wow, how did you know? He just brought Dahuang back to his house for a couple days"

#mlcb cast #zeng shunxi #dahuang #huli jing #OMG THAT'S SO CUTE #i'm very happy for them #^_^ #queue you hear the people sing?

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240328 | Cheng Yi X Ray-Ban

#cheng yi #oh damn #😳😳😳 #head empty; no thoughts; cheng yi pretty #...some days that's all i've got #😅 #queue you hear the people sing?

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Along the lines of @difeisheng headcanons for canto speaker fdb especially in modern au, I present a few insults both him and llh would love to use

你收聲喺無人會覺得你啞的 (if you shut up nobody's going to think you're mute) (both llh and fdb would love using this)

你舊蕃薯 (sweet potato - > idiot)

趕咩趕 趕住下世去投胎啊 (what are you in a hurry for? Rushing to go into your next life??) (llh in the first ep when people ask him to resurrect this dude)

#mysterious lotus casebook #fang duobing #li lianhua #cantonese #languages #omg those are amazing #XD XD XD #they very deeply remind me of yiddish insults #😂😂😂 #queue you hear the people sing?