#anyway I have some dialogue I saved but idk who to pair it with or what situation to write it for lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jackienautism · 9 months

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hi again!!! no worries about taking time with my asks, they are very long i totally get it!! rereading my last ask i realize there were a handful of times where i just. left out complete parts of sentences LMAO whoops. that will happen when you are typing and watching someone play a game at the same time.

anyway i finished my vw playthrough yesterday! my brother is almost done with his playthrough as well. he ended up siding with edie :) he also decided to buy his own switch so he can play on his own LMAO.

hmmm.. thinking about the fics i've read (since i hit part two on my deer playthrough i was playing more and reading fic less lol). immediately after playing i was like hm. this is great territory for time travel and time loop related fanfiction given the whole. divine pulse plus new game + mechanic. i'm sure there's interesting stuff related to this. and i was right. then i think i looked through some edelgard related tags, and then some marianne related tags? i was mostly sticking to one-shots and like. mid-length multichapter fics, and sending the really long ones to my read later list lol. saving those for when i finish at least the three lord's routes.

as for art, i was mostly just searching a character or dynamic i liked on here and going from there LOL.

yeahhhh. ingrid and felix's paired ending isn't Bad or anything but like after the b support i just. don't like the idea of them ending up together lol. and meanwhile any ending where ingrid has children bothers me? so. absolutely not to the sylvain ingrid paired ending. and honestly i kind of hate the whole.... 'oh she's always cleaning up his messes' thing that their c support (and other general interactions) suggest. like i do like sylvain but i am Not subjecting ingrid to him LMFAO.

i ended up reading some bernie/edelgard fanfiction and Really liking their dynamic in that which is. funny considering i've never seen their a support LMAO. as for dorothea and edie, i've seen their a support now thanks to my brother's playthrough!! they're sooo good. i think you're right about marianne supports with girls outside the deer?? which is annoying. let marianne interact with more girls she deserves it. and YEAH i did end up seeing the marianne lysithea supports and like. they're fine! but man there were so many interesting directions they could've taken those two and they just. didn't. very unremarkable supports imo which sucks extra because they could've been so good!

i got mercedes and annette to b support! so they had their fight and then the next time they see each other they are facing each other on the battlefield. which was very fun. i loveeeed creating scenarios like that caspar killing linhardt was also so :((( i was gonna have sylvain kill felix but he failed so bad annette had to kill felix too LMAO. and i had dorothea kill ferdinand which is :( and. for edie i had petra, claude and byleth all land at least one hit on her for maximum interesting dialogue.

i love how last ask i was like 'sylvain is going to end up alone because i can only pair him with byleth or dorothea and i'm not pairing him with dorothea again, and im either pairing byleth with claude or dorothea' and then i ended up. s supporting sylvain. idk what it was about claude.... i absolutely loved him as a character, but i was not feeling the romance at allll. like that's my dear friend claude.. as for dorothea, i was thinking that i probably want to s support her if i ever go for silver snow, because i think the idea of byleth and dorothea who both like. still really care about edelgard and maybe even regret their decision to side against her in a split second but hey it's too late to turn back now, right! getting together is just. so. there's sometihng about it. will i ever actually bring myself to play silver snow?? maybe.. i think if i dont let myself s support dorothea until i do, though, i'm more likely to play it, and i do want to see all the routes.. i also really wanted to see the dorothea petra paired ending.

i ended up with completely different paired endings than i initially anticipated, which i ended up really liking! aside from sylvain and byleth, and obviously petra and dorothea, i also got claude and hilda, which. LOVED their a support. i am an absolute sucker for characters who are both wearing masks of sorts calling each other on it.... also got marianne and ashe which was really sweet :) caspar and annette as well, which, again, i really liked and thought was sweet. i also ended up with leonie and shamir, which was good as well. honestly maybe one of the best endings for leonie, who i ended up getting more attached to than i expected during my playthrough. OH and ignatz and raphael, whose supports started strong but like.. his sister? ignatz marries his sister? okay. i wasn't aware i was doing the supports for ignatz and raphael's sister but. whatever. like i don't mind it, i wasn't particularly attached to them like. ending up together? but it felt like a cop out from making them romantic honestly.

circling back but MAN dorothea and petra's a support and paired ending.... i love them they're sooo good. dorothea is sooo special to me i love when she gets to be happy...... she deserves it!!

i ended up REALLY liking annette, way more than i expected to lol. very excited for the lions to see her sylvain and mercedes specifically. i thinkk i'm gonna recruit marianne again, since like. why wouldn't i recruit marianne. dorothea as well because. well. it's dorothea and i love her. i'm probably gonna recruit bernie because i didn't last time, and maybe ferdinand as well? i could get caspar since i hear he's got a paralogue with mercedes but, as much as i like caspar, i want to recruit some different people this time around and i'm already set on getting dorothea again lol.

i'll probably get leonie as well, and then either raphael or hilda? haven't decided yet. i like hilda, but i think my first real character defining experience with her being her literally dying for claude in CF (before i used divine pulse to prevent that lol) has like. solidified and defined my interpretation of her and i don't feel right recruiting her away from the deer. soooo funny to me that hilda 'i would never die for my friends' goneril is now stuck in this role in all of my subsequent playthroughs. i don't even know if you fight her in the lions route but i'm still not pulling her away from the deer and claude. sorry girl.

i like avoided using lorenz like the PLAGUE because well. i didn't have to use him. and i really didn't want to accidentally get a paired ending with him LOL. idk i feel like his whole lack of respect for claude was reallyyyy grating especially after a certain point. and the fact that the byleth c support is you going 'hey lorenz stop being weird to women??' idk. like i'm sure there's Something interesting there but i didn't care enough to look for it honestly he just has too many unlikable qualities and not enough charm or interesting stuff to make up for it. to me.

OH IGNATZ AND MARIANNE..... i loved their supports actually. they were so good. i keep forgetting about them and then remembering all of a sudden and going. oh those were good. the claude and petra supports were also good, as were annette and claude's! and i didn't see all of annette and ashe's, but they were sweet too. hmmm sylvain and marianne's b support was surprisingly good, as was his b support with hilda (once again. characters wearing metaphorical masks is sooo interesting to me and i love when they interact..). claude and marianne's were SO good i loved them. i love how marianne is in the ending tapestry/mosaic thing for VW too, especially considering the ending of their supports! leonie and claude's were good, marianne and hilda's were pretty sweet, and so were ashe and caspar's..... man i'm trying to think of what other ones i got. i want to like.. say how i feel about all of these but i don't want to spoil any you haven't gotten yet so! i think i'll just leave it there.

anyway! excited for the blions route! gonna go play with my brother again lol so he can finish CF and start his own playthroughs on his new switch, and so i can move onto the lions! as much as i love the other houses, going through this game twice i Have noticed that a lot of the early game stuff skews towards having the lions be plot relevant, and the themes and connections between the lions just seem. really deliberately woven if that makes sense. so i'm looking forward to seeing it all play out! i think before i play silver snow i'd have to do another CF route tho bc i can only go so long supporting the church before i feel the urge to not do that LMAO. anyway i hope you're doing well!!! have a good day/week, it's always nice talking with you and hearing your thoughts :)

HIII thank you so much for understanding! its very much appreciated :] and fdkndg no worries man, im pretty sure i understood what you were saying and all. but yeah that prob is gonna happen when youre watching someone else play at the same time, so no worries!

OHH GOOOD. GLAD HE SIDED W/ EDIE AFTER ALL YIPPEEE but i suppose that was assumed right? glad it came true!!! and CONGRATS ON FINISHING YOUR VERDANT WIND PLAYTHROUGH!!!!! you play fast fdgndfg took me a good like 2 years to finally get back to it and finish it 😭 good for you! glad youre enjoying everything!

and yeah that makes sense ! glad that the game had you that hooked and stuff (eyeballs) but yeah it sucks that its between either playing or engaging w/ content... and that can be a difficult thing to decide sometimes jdfgfd YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABT THE TIME LOOP / TIME TRAVEL POTENTIAL!!!!! AND SPEAKING OF THAT? HAVE YOU SEEN AN EAGLE AMONG LIONS? ITS GOOOOD. its like 80+ chapters BUT ITS SOOO GOOD. i myself am only like ? not even a quarter of the way through but it plays on different timelines and time travel and stuff. and it has a HUGE focus on edelgard. def couldnt recommend it enough. makes sesne that you stuck w/ the shorter ones though... since it does get time consuming. any ones you read that you recommend :o? glad youve found a bunch of good ones regarding that concept though

AND NICE. MAKES SENSE. it just sucks that sometimes if th edynamic isnt very popular it gets difficult tofind stuff</3 esp art stuff. like. for example. i wanted to find som e marianne and lysithea stuff. and not even like romantically. i just want to see them together. and i couldnt find any art but i DID find a few fics but </3 sometimes i just wnat Them you know? and they were often accompanied by several other characters / dynamics. there were 2 that i rly liked though

I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT INGRID HAS ENDINGS WHERE SHE HAS CHILDREN!!!!!! IS THE GAME DAFT? IS THAT /NOT/ WHAT THEY ESTABLISHED AS SOMETHING SHES AFRAID OF? gosh dfkgnfdg jesus christ. and no youre sooo right abt the whole sylvain and ingrid dynamic. like. of course its funny to a degree and ingrid doesnt have to place all that onto herself but............ i think both the game and the fandom play it up a bit too much. but yeah fdgjdfg i totally understand why you wouldnt pair her w/ either felix or sylvain

OOOO i know bernie and edie is ? sort of popular? so im happy that youve enjoyed their dynamic, i still need to go through their supports myself</3 AND YIPPPEE glad you enjoy edie and dorothea together and that you liked their A support<3 yeah ): i like just didnt remember seeing marianne have supports w/ any girls outside the golden deer... which SUCKS bc 2 out of the 3 she only goes up to B. SHE DOES DESERVE IT!!!!!! and like. ive thouhgt abt this before but..... dorothea and marianne........ they both have themselves in their dislikes section........ thoughts in my brain. AND FOR REAL !!!! ABT LYSITHEA AND MARIANNE. THEY COULDVE DONE SOOO MUCH MORE AND YET THEY DIDNT ): and not only that, they dont even have a post timeskip one ?? which i feel they TOTALLY deserve. esp since lysithea's whole thing was like. enjoy lfie while you can! look at the positive! and then she DOES post timeskip! i dont knooow they couldve so much, like you said

and ah okay! i guess i shouldve assumed that you were referring to mercie and annette, just based on their supports and all. but thank you! but also. BOOOO. i get wanting to create a scenario like that but 😭😭😭😭 the sheer POTENTIAL of something like that though is SOOO good. i assume mercedes was w/ dimitri during that one battle where all 3 armies clashed on gronder field? i haven't gotten caspar and linhardt's special dialogue on the battlefield.... and i probably never will TBH. THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME LMAO w/ sylvain and felix. atleast in my CF run. i got their special dialogue and then sylvain was GONNA kill him but felix's pavise or some shit activated and ALMOST KILLED HIM RIGHT BACK!!!!! it was very unfortunate. glad annette was able to cover for him i guess though 😭 /AND/ YOU HAD DOROTHEA KILL FERDIE???? GODDAMN...... you are very strong my friend. getting special dialogue is fun but at the same time </////3 it makes me Hurt. does petra and edie have special dialogue together? i didnt realize that :o

OHHHH YOU ENDED UP S SUPPORTING SYLVAIN???????? THATS CERTAINLY A SHOCK FGNJDFGF i thinki believe ive seen your account? you hva e a bi sylvain icon right? if youre not comfortable w/ me saying that just lmk and ill remove it asap. BUT GOOD FOR YOUUUU FKNGFGDF I CERTAINLY WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT LMAO. and yeah i feel that for claude and byleth. i honestly cant say anything bc i had no intentions of S supporting him to begin with but. yeah. WHEN HE CHANGES FROM "TEACH" TO "MY FRIEND"...... I THINK THATS SO CUTE THOUGH. and ouuugh the potential of silver snow byleth / dorothea.... i like that concept a whole lot. i think you def should do that if you go down that route. but at the same time. are you even able to keep any of the black eagles in your class during that route? or does edie turn against ALL of them? i have yet to play so i dont knooow. nbut the potential scares me. since going against edie after gaining her trust is one thing, but to have to go against the WHOLE CLASS? very sad. but no ytoure absolutely right... i think theyd have a particular bond after going agsinst edelgard, and i think that may increase their relationship and all. they get to revel in that guilt together!!!! mmm, using dorothea as a reason to play it is dfngdfgk it gives you incentive you know? and i believe thats needed as a route like SS

yeah!!! claude and hilda's A support was very good... makes sense why theyre so drawn together and all. because, like you said, its interesting how characters who tend to put up a mask themself also tend to see through someone else's, especially if its a close friend. ooo didnt realize marianne could A support w/ ashe! or annette w/ caspar! thats very interesting. i knew abt leonie and shamir, i dont quite understand Why yet (since i have yet to see them) but. i suppose it makes some sense considering that shamir is sort of a mercenary? it was something like that right? i forgor. glad to hear that thats one of the best endings for leonie! i literally just recently finished VW and i already forget who leonie ended up w/ oops. andd getting attached to her is epic as well, bc i just couldnt get myself to tbh. ofc i like her and alll, but i just. eh. you know? I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHO IGNATZ AND RAPHAEL ENDED UP WITH!!!!! NO WAIT I DO. NVM. anyway. i had no idea thats who their (ignatz and raphael) ending plays out?????? thats so :/ i get not everything ahs to be romantic but come OOOOON.... ESP SINCE WE DONT EVEN GET TO SEE RAPH'S SISTER??????? LIKE 😭😭😭 gosh. thats so annoyingg. but no youre right, them adding in maya like that is such just ..... like you said, a cop out. and it sucks. not all the endings are specifically romantic, like raph and lysitheas for example iirc, but CMON !!!!!!!!

RIIIIIIGHT....... in my playthroughs i tend to only get the supports of the characters in my house (as i also tend to use only those characters and maybe 1 or 2 recruits) but MAN. FOR MY AZURE MOON ONE I JUST CANT LET DOROTHEA BE ALONE...... SO IM GONNA GET HER TO A SUPPORT W/ PETRA AGAIN......... she deserves to be happy andd knowing that she has the potential to be alone makes my heart hurt.

annette is a real sweetheart. and i love her little songs dfkgndf and ofc her relationship w/ mercedes is real nice. BUT YEAAAAH GOOD RECRUITS AS USUAL.... im only on like the first chapter of the timeskip actuallly dkfgndg i havent played azure moon in a bit, i rly need to change tha.t. i actually havent played the game at ALL in a little bit, for reasons i wont get into, which sucks but </3 gonna try and get into the groove again soon. dont blame you for wanting to get different people, and yeah caspar and mercedes do have a paralogue together! it has to do w/ the death knight iirc. anyone you plan to recruit in place of caspar? or are you just gonna wing it?

OH guess the next paragraph answered my question mb. BUT OOOO HILDA... THATS VERY INTERESTING TO THINK ABT..... i totally forgot that she was like that in terms of dying and stuff... unless i just misse dhtat entirely? and i cant remember her dying quote / special interaction w/ marianne or byleth rip. BUT YEAH. I CAN DEF SEE HWY YOU DONT WANNA SEPARATE HER FROM THE DEER / CLAUDE..... they both already go soooo well together.... so i totally get it. aside from hilda literally dying for claude after saying she wouldnt ddo such things for them, what was your other character defining moments for her? if any?

LMAO LORENZ..... i like. gosh. i dont blame you at AALLLLL. his first impression is just so bad and ugly and..... iugh. i went through all his supports w/ the golden deer (except for claude's. i missed out on it. which. im not too disappointed abt LOL i can imagine he goes through some growth hopefully nbut i cant rly say that he truly does) and yeah... he has some redeeming qualities. like. hes a very caring and nice guy beneath it all. but you're right. his distrust in claude is so just annoying and UGLY if you really get down to it. /I/ dont like him either but going throuhg his supports w/ the deer made me appreciate him a littl emore? not by much though. i still think hes annoying. and honestly i dont even remember his A support w/ byleth LOL which probably means it wasnt that memorable. but yeah i dont blame you for avoidinig him at all costs lmao hes a really unlikable character imo lol. and as youve siad, his whole thing w/ claude rly puts me off

YESSSS IGNATZ AND MARIANNE'S SUPPORTS WERE SO SWEET.... I ESP LOVED WHNE HE SAW THE SUNSET AND THOUGHT TO HIMSELF "OH, MARIANNE WOULD LOVE THIS" THATS SO NICE AND CUUUUTE 😭😭 OOO i dind realize annette had supports w/ claude... interesting. i think i stilll need ashe and annette's A support but they were so fun dfngdfg esp them getting Scared together and stuff. i dont rly care abt sylvain very much but i do enjoy most of his supports. rly shows a different side of him, which made me realize just how strong of a character he is. character wise, i mean. but yeah! OHHHH CLAUDE AND MARIANNE'S WERE SOOO GOOD.... I ESP LOVED THEIR A SUPPORT AND HOW HE GAVE THAT STORY ABT HIMSELF AND ALL..... TO RELATE TO MARIANNE AND HER STRUGGLES W/ BURDENS AND SUCH...... i also got their ending (out of pure chance which i was VERY happy about)AND OHH YEAH, SO THAT WAS MARIANNE ON THE END ART HUH? i mauyube thought she was there just because of my game getting their ending but fkgnfg THATS SO CUTE !!!!!! I LOVE U MARIANNE . i vaguely remember leonie and claude's which sucks, ill prob have to go throuhg them all again separately since i just BINGED most of them during the end of my playthrough. marianne and hildas were good too.... i thought it was so cute how hilda got her to laugh so hard during their A support )): and i still need to get ashe and caspar's! and thank you for not wanting to spoil stuff for ): that's very nice of you, feel free to talk abt the ones in specific you rly liked! its ok if i havent gotten them before :] ill def just go through them again regardless! but, just so you know, ive gotten all the golden deer's supports w/ each other. excluding lorenz and claude. and pretty much all of the blue lions' supports w/ each other, i have just a few left

HAVE FUN W/ THE LIONS ROUTE!!!!! youre def right to say that white clouds is very heavily biased towards the blue lions... esp narrative wise... you'll. def see what i mean. even more so than the obvious. i wont say much but it regards edelgard. but yeah! like. sylvain and miklan... mercedes and the death knight... i swear there was more but my mind is drawing a bblank rn. OH aand ashe and lonato. imo it was clear that azure moon was meant to be the Bulk of this game. like. you were meant ot play this route and that's it. you're absolutely right abt it seeming deliberately woven. they rly dont try to hide the bias lol which isnt a bad thing ofc but. just seeing how much the fandom is prone to hate edie...... i blame the game's targeted narrative for that. AND I FEEL THAT L,MAO. being on the church's side is so just... it pisses me OOOFF tbh. i can only take so much of that. so i def agree that you plau CF again before doing SS or another one fkndgffg

HOPE YOUREDOING WELL TOO !!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY / NIGHT AS WEELLLLL. and hehe thank youu..... im glad you enjoy reading my thoughts, bc i feel the same about yours!!!! :D

#mine #text #asks #anon #my FE tag #FE #FE3H #my thoughts #sorry if anythings wonky i didnt feel like rereading fdnfdg

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justapurrcat · 2 years

Text

Crush Tingle | p.b.p.

Pairing: college!Peter Parker x fem!reader

Excerpt: “Ever since you’d told him you found his drunk persona to have so much in common with them, penguin compilations had become one of his favourite things to watch in dead moments. He claimed he was doing it so that he could take notes in order to keep your interest alive. And also because he wanted to find out what you had seen in him that made you decide you wanted him to be the one who would make your leg pop.

But those cute memories weren’t enough to chase away the cloud that was coming together in your mind, nor to fill the pit that was forming in your stomach.”

Sequel to Baby Penguins and Popping Legs

Word Count: 10.120k

Warnings: English not being my first language, possible typos, fluff, some angst bc it’s me, stupid dialogues, mentions of sex, reader has issues, NWH spoilers, Tom!Peter (aged up)

A/n: Okay, so, I usually don’t take requests bc I’m slow af, but this one was so cute I just couldn’t resist!!!

“i hate to admit that i loved the spider vow… maybe i’m weird too 🤭 anyway idk if request r open buuuttt if they r then could i request a college!peter parker x reader w major domestic fluff but maybe jealous reader is thrown in?? bc every girl on campus is in love w peter parker👀”

To whoever requested this, thank you and I’m sorry it took so long. I hope you’ll like this and that you don’t mind me turning this into a sequel, it’s just that I felt inspired... but it can be read on its own, I promise! Thank you again for sending this! 💜

Penguin Crush Masterlist

Peter Parker Masterlist

General Masterlist

You buried your face in the curve of your boyfriend’s neck, basking in the warmth radiating from his body, through the thin fabric of your shirts – that both belonged to him, to be precise – and letting his pleased giggle brush over your ears.

It had become the norm for the two of you, chilling and cuddling on your bed like this, forgetting that an actual living, breathing World, filled with pain and unspeakable things, existed outside of your room, outside the boundaries of your skins...

You didn’t know if you had something to do with it, but ever since you’d met him, Peter Parker was less alone. Like a switch had been turned on, he had started to talk to more people, making more friends, never failing to include you. He kept his back straighter and held his head up higher, talked more, laughed more.

He seemed happier.

Right now, he was lying on his stomach, with you on top of him, your chest pressed against his back and your legs tangled together, a warm and fuzzy blanket shielding your bodies from the cold.

Peter was watching a video on his phone, and you were too busy leaving small kisses on his exposed skin to care about everything else, but a notification sound caught your attention, and before you could stop them, your eyes were already instinctively flickering to the screen, a bunch of glitter and pink and red hearts exploding in your vision.

‘Thank u so much, Pete! U saved me with the latest assignment! U’re the best! I owe u!!!’, the preview read, amongst all those extra saccharine emojis.

Cindy Moon.

Again.

Your boyfriend opened the chat, typing a quick ‘No prob, Cin!’, followed by a couple of thumbs up, and immediately going back to watch his interrupted ‘goofy baby penguins’ video.

Ever since you’d told him you found his drunk persona to have so much in common with them, penguin compilations had become one of his favourite things to watch in dead moments. He claimed he was doing it so that he could take notes in order to keep your interest alive. And also because he wanted to find out what you had seen in him that made you decide you wanted him to be the one who would make your leg pop.

But those cute memories weren’t enough to chase away the cloud that was coming together in your mind, nor to fill the pit that was forming in your stomach.

In moments like that, forgetting wasn’t so easy anymore. Not when the World caved in, making you aware of how better than you he could do...

You adverted your eyes from the screen, mentally scolding yourself for invading his privacy like that. Peter always told you he didn’t care, sometimes he would casually ask you to check on his notifications when he couldn’t. You still remembered the absolute shock of the first time he’d handed you his phone, while he was fixing his suit. He’d told you his password like it was the most normal thing ever.

And you also remembered the two hours he had spent kissing your tear-stained cheeks and holding you close, helping you recover from your panic attack, and making you realize that his password was the day he had met you for the first time, on Give Everyone You Meet a Flower Day, the holiday you had come up with just to talk to him.

But old habits were hard to die, and so was a cheating asshole who would yell at you for even daring to touch his ringing phone to bring it to him while he was showering.

With a heavy heart, you rolled off of him, resting on your back, staring at the ceiling. You could already tell what would come next and you didn’t want to see it.

Peter’s head snapped in your direction, the sudden lack of your reassuring weight on top of him causing him to feel exposed, and not in a good way. Maybe he was just being dramatic – no, he told himself, he was sure he was being dramatic –, but he felt like something could attack him any second now, like he’d just lost something vital to him...

“What’s going on?”, he asked, trying to chase away those dark thoughts, like the mere act of associating them with your person could turn out to be harmful for you.

Without daring to look at him, you closed your eyes like you wanted to sleep. “Nothing”, you dismissed it under your breath. “Just tired.”

One of the downsides of having a boyfriend with heightened senses was that you couldn’t hide anything from him, all of your lies getting debunked in a heartbeat only because a damn radioactive spider couldn’t mind his own business.

It wasn’t that you liked lying to him, but sometimes you just wished you had that special ability: the poor boy already carried so much on his shoulders without the burden of your cheap drama, there was no need for you to bring him down even more.

“I want a girlfriend, y/n, not a ball and chain.”

Shit, you thought to yourself. Not fucking ‘Colin The Cheater’ again.

You had a perfect boyfriend, miraculously carved out of dream material, you loved him and you were happy, why the fuck couldn’t that stupid idiot leave you alone at once?

Of course, Peter sensed your internal turmoil and, even if he couldn’t quite understand what it was about, he knew that there was something bothering you. Without wasting another second, he covered your body with his, placing his leg between your thighs and burying his face in your hair, determined to get your attention.

“Peter”, you groaned in what you so badly wanted to be an annoyed tone, while, in fact, you were fighting the instinct to wrap your arms around his torso to keep him there and never let him go. “Get off.”

“Could you give me a hand with that?”, he asked innocently, pairing the question with a chaste kiss right below your ear, making you suck in a sharp breath.

So much for innocence, he was one-hundred percent aware of what he was doing.

“I mean it”, you muttered unconvincingly, your heart shamelessly using your ribcage as a drum, your hands itching to touch him. “You’re crashing me.”

“I thought you liked being crashed”, Peter countered, nuzzling the side of your neck, captivated by how wild your pulse could get due to his proximity. He found it hard to believe sometimes, but that didn’t take away from the fact that he definitely enjoyed having this effect on you.

You remained silent, but your body was speaking volumes and Peter never failed to turn them all up. “You seemed quite happy last night.” To reinforce his point, he rubbed his thigh against your core, the tiny whimper that fought its way out of your lips sounding like the most angelic symphony to his ears.

“... and this morning, too–AAAH!!!” His cheeky remarks got suddenly interrupted by a pained scream that caused his voice to go up an octave and him to jump back so violently he ended up with his ass on the ceiling, supporting himself on his bare hands and feet as he looked at you in complete shock.

“W-why?”, he croaked out, his big round eyes and the squeaky sound summoning in your mind the image of an abandoned and beaten-up puppy, which made you hate yourself a bit for pinching his side to get him off of you.

Girlfriend of the Year, y/n, great job.

A wave of guilt washed over you and you physically couldn’t hold his stare any longer, so you sat up and rested your back against the headboard, letting the blanket gather around your calves. “Told you”, you grumbled. “You were crashing me.”

Peter landed gracefully on the bed in his signature spider-pose, hoping this would get a laugh out of you like all the other times and his heart broke a little not only when he saw it didn’t, but that you didn’t even consider him. However, he wasn’t going give up like that. “That’s so mean...”, he complained with a playfully hurt tone.

You kept your gaze down, everything about your body language screaming defence, his second attempt failing miserably. “I was literally gasping for air.”

“You literally weren’t”, he pointed out, poking at your knee.

“Whatever”, you scoffed, getting out of bed and making a beeline towards the door, headed to the kitchen. You didn’t spare him a single glance. “I’m hungry.”

Shit.

You flipped over the bread with such energy it almost fell out of the pan and ended up on the floor. Clicking your tongue in irritation, you did your best to move a bit more carefully.

You were mad. And embarrassed because you were mad. And stupid. You felt – no, you were – so fucking stupid you wanted to bash your own head against the nearest wall. And, most importantly, you were a shitty girlfriend, undeserving of the affection of the exceptional specimen Peter Benjamin Parker was.

“Darling...”, you heard his voice coming from behind you, his figure appearing in your field of vision, but you still kept your eyes down, your lips stubbornly sealed.

“Darling, what’s wrong?”, he tried again, cautiously wrapping his arms around your waist, looking for any sign of discomfort coming from you. When, despite your surly attitude, nothing seemed to alter his senses, he grew a bit bolder, holding you close and pressing his chest against your back, leaning his chin on your shoulder.

You relaxed immediately, melting into his reassuring touch and closing your eyes as you let him gently sway you from side to side. “Nothing’s wrong”, you finally murmured.

Peter lightly bumped his nose against your cheek. “Yes, it is.”

“I hate that sense of yours, sometimes”, you scowled.

His hands found their own place in yours, your fingers intertwining spontaneously. “Are you sure you hate it?”, he questioned and you knew exactly what he was alluding to. God, he could be such a cheeky shit when he wanted...

“I said sometimes”, you specified, lowering your defences, allowing him to slowly start to erase the bad thoughts clouding your mind.

Satisfied with your reaction, Peter hummed in your ear, his lips ghosting over your temple and delivering little pecks along your hairline. “So...”, he purred. “You wanna tell me what’s troubling y–”

“THE BREAD!!!”, you yelled, the unpleasant smell of something burning invading your nostrils all at once and causing you to freak out. And you weren’t the only one who almost risked a heart attack.

Your poor boyfriend immediately let go of you, taking a huge jump back and almost tripping on his own feet, the sound of your alarmed voice still echoing in his ears. He was so worried he might’ve unintentionally done something to hurt you that it took him a while to understand what was going on.

Meanwhile, you had literally thrown yourself onto the stove, turning it off, removing the pan and emptying it in a plate in what, in Peter’s eyes, appeared like one single chaotic and yet incredibly smooth motion.

“Shitshitshitshitshit...” You picked up the two slices to check the damage, using only the pad of your fingers to avoid getting burned, then, facing your defeat, you grabbed a knife and slowly, but steadily, began scraping off the burnt surface of the bread.

Peter observed you for a few moments, then tried to speak up again. “Baby...”

You didn’t stop, not even to look at him. “Mh?”

“It’s burnt...”

“So what?”, you plainly shot back with a shrug of your shoulders. “I’m getting rid of the burnt part.”

He extended a tentative hand towards you, hoping you would listen to him. “You could get cancer from it.”

“We can only pray”, you spat without thinking, and you instantly regretted it as soon as your brain restored its connection to your mouth.

For a moment, everything seemed to stop, and it wasn’t a sweet rom-com cliché, but the literal calm before the storm, the quietest moment of peace before the terrifying roar of a mountain about to crumble down.

Peter’s hand didn’t get to touch you, as if trapped by some invisible force that kept it suspended in the air, just a fragment of inches away from your skin. His face dropped, shock emptying his eyes and filling them with confusion first and with dread immediately after. There was no need for him to vocalize what was going through his mind right now.

He already knew.

After all, how couldn’t he? It was you who had told him and his senses had caught up on more – way more – than what just your voice had put into words.

Just like every single thing in that room, you seemed to be motionless as well, your hands still holding the bread and the knife, your gaze fixated on the plate, but not really seeing it, tears burning in the back of your throat, fighting to get to your eyes.

“y/n.”

You flinched imperceptibly – for the sight of a normal person, at least – at his tone, rushing to apologize. “I’m sorry.”

“You know I don’t like it when you joke about that.”

“I know.” You kept your head low, setting everything down. Your hands were starting to shake and the last thing you needed was to make another mess in the kitchen of your dorm. “I know”, you repeated. “I’m sorry.”

Although your heart was rushing, you felt like you were freezing, chills traveling down the curve of your spine and taking possession of your entire being, annihilating all your senses.

“I don’t wanna lose you–”

“You won’t”, you let out in a faint whisper. “I’m sorry...”

“Are you okay?”

It was like hundreds of little threads of liquid ice were wrapping themselves around you, locking you inside of your body, isolating you in a dark, lonely prison. “I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

“Positive”, you confirmed, the syllables tasting bitter on your tongue. You almost didn’t hear your own voice, feeling helpless, getting more and more lost by the second. You were on the edge of a ravine, only one last thing clear in your mind before you could fall in. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” Peter didn’t waste a second, wrapping his arms around your trembling figure as tight as he could, like branches of ivy growing over you. An ivy that pulled you away from the void, an ivy of fire that burned without scorching, instantly melting all the ice that had taken over you.

You quivered, releasing a grateful hum, his presence slowly rebuilding your surroundings, his soothing voice giving rhythm to your breaths, his light-feather touches moulding you back into existence, the webs of his love pulling your broken pieces back together.

“I’ll take care of it, okay?”, he offered, placing a delicate kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering on your skin for a bit longer than necessary.

“You don’t have to...”, you tried to object.

“I want to.” He lovingly cupped your face, tilting your head back so that you would look at him, the warmth hidden in those chocolate irises being all you needed. “Now, sit back and let me treat my girlfriend.”

You let him guide you towards the table and sit you back on one of the chairs, then simply observed him as he moved around the kitchen, finding yourself to be getting more and more enamoured with him and his funny little chef antics – even though he interrupted them every now and then to come and ask for a kiss. You loved him so much you didn’t think it was possible... and yet there you were, taking in the view of the boy who’d just saved you from the beginning of a panic attack, making heart eyes at him even when he wasn’t looking.

“Here, M’lady”, Peter announced, setting the plate down and taking the seat right next to you, placing his elbows on the table.

The recipe was extremely easy – nothing more than bread with oil, dice tomatoes and cucumbers, tipped with a sprinkle of chopped basil –, and maybe Peter found it kinda hard to see the appeal of it, but you liked it and, most importantly, it reminded you of home. He had learned how it had become a symbol of your childhood, evoking happy memories in you.

“Thank you”, you uttered softly, leaning in to kiss his cheek one more time. You offered him some, but he said he was fine, and just like you had watched him prepare food for you a few minutes before, he observed you eat that same food with a tender expression on his face.

You were halfway through the second slice of bread when Peter felt comfortable to try again. “Darling...” His fingers brushed along your arm and you turned towards him, mouth closed because you were still eating, but eyes inviting him to say more, assuring him that you were listening.

“Do you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

You gulped, and not only because you were done chewing. “Nothing’s wrong”, you declared, sounding like a broken record.

Peter considered your words, looking like he was lost in his thoughts. “You don’t wanna tell me”, he spoke after a while, but there was no sign of resentment in his tone. “It’s okay”, he kept going, standing up and making his way towards your bedroom.

Your confused gaze remained glued to his figure until he got out of the door. “What are you...?” Placing the food down on the plate, you were about to go check on him, but you didn’t even have the time to take a step after getting up from the chair, that he was already back in the room, his mask covering his head.

“Tell Spider-Man, then.”

Your jaw dropped on the floor and you stared at your favourite adorkable human being for a good ten seconds, before the corners of your mouth curled up into a grin. There was no point in hiding it, so you did nothing to stop them. “Idiot.”

“Your idiot”, he corrected you, pretending to shoot a web at you like he was trying to guide you into his arms.

A giggle erupted from your throat and you closed the distance between your bodies, taking the mask off and stuffing it in his back pocket and then letting him engulf you in a hug and resting your head on his shoulder, his heartbeat resonating in your ears and vibrating in your chest.

“Seriously, baby...”, he mumbled, his hands moving up and down your back, caressing your skin through the fabric, cuddling you just the way you liked. “Have I done something?”

You shook your head, pressing yourself even more against him. “No, Peter.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No!”

Your head shot up and thank whoever first came up with the idea of studying radioactive spiders, because hadn’t it been for them, your boyfriend wouldn’t have been able to dodge you, ending up with an excruciating pain in his chin.

“You’re perfect. You’re the most perfect boyfriend I could wish for”, you reassured him, clinging to his shoulders with an urgency that took you both by surprise. “How could I ever be mad at you?”

That question worried Peter even more and he raised a hand to cup the side of your face, his arm still draped around your waist. “Then what is it?”

Teeth sinking down on your lower lip to the point where they almost drew blood, you understood that there was no going back now.

“Why are you not mad at me?”

Of all the things you could’ve come up with, Peter wasn’t certainly expecting that. “I’m not sure I follow...”

“Peter.” With a sigh, you gently freed yourself from his hug, his hands struggling a bit to let go of your – his – shirt and, even after they did, still instinctively reaching out for you before they fell at his sides.

“You’re an amazing guy”, you said, gesturing at him, a fond look in your eyes. “You’re kind, you go off your way to help people, you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town, a brain that could solve three quarters of the issues in this fucking World, you beat a sorcerer using math...” Without realizing it, more or less on the second point of your list, you had begun to mindlessly pace back and forth, back and forth, like a restless soul. “You’re like this genius puppy-eyed sexy super-hero–”

“... did you just call me a dog?”

You turned to face him again as if you hadn’t even heard him. “And I’m highly suspicious”, you began, but felt the sudden need to correct yourself. “No, I’m certain that everyone who sees you wants you... and I cannot think–”

“Whoawhoawhoaholdonholdonholdon”, Peter interrupted you, and you had no trouble imagining a question mark of gigantic dimensions drawing itself onto the canvas of his features. He was that expressive, another one of the innumerable reasons that had left you no choice but to fall for him.

“Everyone?”, he echoed you, convinced he might’ve misheard. Kinda hard for an individual with enhanced-hearing, but not impossible, right? “What are you–?”

“Yes, everyone”, you reinforced the concept, and this time your eyes were boring into his, the intensity threatening to drill two holes in his skull.

“Oh, come on...” The spectre of a laugh rose from his throat and quickly died on his lips when he saw that you didn’t join him and didn’t seem to plan on doing it. That you were still looking at him in the same way, with that tenderness that had stolen his heart.

That you weren’t joking.

“y/n, that can’t be”, he tried to talk some sense into you.

You tilted your head to the side, arching an eyebrow. “Really?”, you asked, and you weren’t mad or sarcastic, but genuinely puzzled. “You’re a walking polygraph, but you can’t find out if someone has a crush on you?”

But, like a well-structured and solid script, Peter had the perfect comeback for that. “Need I remind you that we waltzed around each other for months like we were in a dragon courtship dance–”

The analogy left you speechless for a moment. “Wow, you really did ignore the Viking dance and went straight for the dragon one...”

“It’s the one everyone remembers, let’s be honest”, he explained quickly and you couldn’t reply a thing, finding no flaw in his logic. “Only because neither of us could understand our feelings were reciprocated?”, he went back to his original point.

You looked down on your fiddling hands, recognizing that, other than the dragon thing, he was right on this too.

Peter pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a long breath and letting it out before he dived into one of the most humiliating memories of his life. But it was for you. “Darling, I had to throw up in front of you so that we could get a moment alone...” He cringed at his own behaviour, the embarrassment enflaming his cheeks and ears. “... and it wasn’t even part of a genius plan I had come up with...”, he continued. “It was just me being an idiot. I only got lucky things turned out the way they did.”

Once again, you said nothing, but a nostalgic smile found its way to your lips, guided by the surfacing memories of that crazy, yet unbelievably cute night.

“That was the textbook definition of the ‘idiots to lovers’ fic you could write for a Valentine Bingo event, following the prompts of college, bed sharing and meet ugly”, he described without batting an eyelash and, despite the scarily painful accuracy, you still scrunched your nose a bit at his choice of words.

You didn’t know how to explain it, but for a moment, Peter didn’t sound like... well, Peter. Surprisingly enough, he looked just as lost.

“That was unnecessarily specific, but I’m gonna choose not to question any of it”, you eventually broke the spell, coming out of that weird impasse.

“Wise choice”, Peter agreed, energetically moving his head up and down as if that could help him get rid of that unusual sensation. “I honestly don’t even know why I phrased it like that...”, he trailed off, then, shook his head to definitely snap out of it. He was on duty: his girlfriend needed him, he could not get distracted like that.

“What I’m trying to say is...” He slowly walked up to you again, moving a rebel lock away from your forehead. “I can’t even tell if the person I like likes me back...”, the gesture then was followed by the tip of his finger tracing the profile of your nose, that ended with a final boop he knew would make you chuckle. And it did.

“How could I ever notice it in someone I have no interest in?”

Your eyes fluttered shut for a few moments as you surrendered to his touch. You had made the choice to date an idiot that was incredibly smart, you had no one to blame but yourself. “Touché...”, you conceded, not resisting the urge to play with the collar of his shirt.

“But I’m curious now. Spill the tea.”

You stared at him without understanding, perplexity evident on your face.

“The names”, Peter clarified with an encouraging look. “I want the names.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “You sound like a hitman.”

“Well...”, he smirked proudly. “I’m your boyfriend, so I was certainly capable of hitting on you.”

You said nothing in return, and what followed was nothing but an embarrassing silence that gave him all the time he needed to process what had just come out of his mouth.

Peter gritted his teeth and squinted his eyes like someone had just stabbed him, the reflection of his stupid face in your pupils getting almost unbearable to witness. “... that was an extremely bad joke, wasn’t it?”, he asked, not really expecting an answer. He didn’t slap himself only as a pathetic – useless – attempt to preserve some dignity. “Please, don’t break up with me because of that”, he pleaded with you. “You have all the rights to do it, and I would understand if you did, but please don’t.”

You walked past him, lightly hitting his hip with yours in the process. “You’re lucky I love you so much I would take a bullet for you, you idiot”, you scoffed, circling the table and grabbing your plate to bring it to the sink.

“And I’m thanking my good star every day”, Peter assured you with a sense of relief, following you and leaning back against the counter. “Not only because of that, but also because you’ll never have to do it.”

You shook your head, biting back a cackle, and once again offered him the food. This time, he took it, eagerly devouring it as you washed the dishes and let them to dry. “So?”, he prompted you after you were done, hitting your elbow with a barely perceptible nudge. “Come on, angel, talk to me...”

You lowered your head with a mild nod, then sat on the counter right next to him, hunched over yourself with your intertwined hands resting on your thighs.

“... Cindy Moon.”

The name rolled off your tongue with difficulty, the bitter taste filling your mouth a sharp contrast to the actual sweet nature of your absolute first girl-crush ever. Her voice sounded as silky as her hair looked, and you had spent several weeks of extremely confused dreams, where you couldn’t quite place whether you wanted yours to look just the same or if you wanted to run your fingers through hers as she laid her head on your chest.

A big emotional turmoil for your little and suspiciously demi brain.

“Cindy?”, Peter wondered, then his eyes widened like he’d just remembered something. “You know, it’s curious that you’re mentioning her, she just tested me – I was with you when I got it – and...” He had started to tell you this like he would’ve told you an amusing anecdote, but realization dawned on him with the strength of a slap across the face. “Oh...”

Your head sunk between your shoulders. “Yeah...”

“B-but...”, he stuttered, struggling to make all these new notions make some sense. “She was talking about the assignment...”

“I get the feeling that if you check your phone again the situation might be different”, you suggested, completely giving up.

“What?”, he gaped.

“Remember my fifth sense? I also call it my crush tingle.” You tapped your temple, forcing yourself to joke about the situation, hoping this would help make it hurt a bit less. It went without saying that it didn’t work.

“Darling, I love you”, Peter cooed reassuringly, taking his phone out of his pocket and showing you the battered screen as he opened the chat, confident that this would put you at ease. “But that can’t be possible, don’t you–”

The rest of his sentence died in his throat as soon as he read the content of Cindy’s latest message.

‘How about a coffee tomorrow after class? I’d like to see you... without books between us, for once... or maybe more than just once.’ The words were followed by a myriad of winks and little faces blowing kisses.

You tiredly raised your head to meet his upset gaze, the fact that you were being proved to be right doing nothing to make you feel better. A girl with a bone structure you could only wish for in your wildest dreams was flirting with your boyfriend. If anything, he should’ve been the one celebrating for that.

At first, it was like Peter had just caught on fire, a bright scarlet red spreading like oil under the pale sea of his skin... and then, all at once, every pigment of colour drained from his entire face. “O-oh...”, was all he managed to say.

You gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Told you...”, you breathed out.

“So... that’s the reason behind all those little hearts?”, he deduced, incredulity dripping from every letter. “It always messed with my head me how much she would put in a single message”, he observed as she scratched the back of his neck, glaring at the incriminated emojis. Then he shut the phone and carelessly threw it on the counter, adding a new crack to the already exposition-worthy collection. “But darling, I don’t like her that way–”

“And then there’s Gwen Stacy”, you cut him off, her huge green eyes shining from below her perfectly kept fringe appearing into your vision.

Green...

Like her favourite green skirt that showed off her perfect long legs. The one she loved to wear anytime she knew Peter would be around. Like the ribbon she once had wrapped around your wrist, saying that colour looked great on you as she kissed your cheek.

“Gwen?” The poor boy was doing his best to collect his racing thoughts, looking for any sign he might have misread. “I don’t understand, she invited us over...”, he recalled, desperately wanting you to support this version. “She said we were going to get Brazilian...”

You pulled your knees up to your chest, with the illusion this could make you smaller. “No, Peter...”, you corrected him in a mumble. “She invited you over. And she is going to get a Brazilian.”

“What does it mean?”, he asked you, thanking God that he had the support of the counter, because he had the fear his legs could betray him anytime soon.

You winced at the imaginary pain, and also at what you were about to reveal to your utterly devastated boyfriend. “That she’ll get a full wax between her legs.” You hesitated to continue... but then, your stupid coping mechanism of making jokes about something that was making you suffer got the best of you. “Guess, in some way, she does want you to taste something Brazilian–”

“Oh my God, stop!”, Peter shrieked, covering his ears and getting away from you, like that could help him escape the image you had summoned in his mind.

Heart sinking in your chest, you watched him walk miles in that small kitchen, sometimes not even realizing that he was walking up the walls and the ceiling, and getting down only when, looking back at you, he saw that you were upside-down. “That’s why she was winking at me while she was saying it!”, he gasped, stopping in the middle of the room like a helpless fawn caught in headlights.

Tilting your head to the side, you offered him a sympathetic smile. A smile that however, didn’t reach your eyes and he saw it.

Then a doubt came to Peter’s attention, a doubt that sparked a new hope inside of him. “B-but... isn’t she dating Harry Osborn?”

It was just a miracle that you managed to hold back a whine, not wanting to overload him even more, but the comment came out before you could stop it. And, even if you’d succeeded at that, he would’ve easily read them in your expression. “Speaking of the devil...”

“Harry?” His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, his voice sounding like the one of an excited teenager who was screaming the name of their idol. Peter seemed to notice that as well, composing himself before he opened his mouth again. “Harry likes me?”, he asked you, a hand splayed onto his chest. “Are you for real?”

Oh well, at least this hadn’t shocked him. “To say that he worships the ground you walk upon would be more accurate.”

His lips formed a perfect circle, eyes scanning every inch of your face. “How do you know?”

“He told me”, you admitted shyly. “A couple days after the party, to be precise.”

It was one of your most vivid memories up until now, every detail forever engraved in your brain: starting with how he had approached you, calling you a ‘lucky bitch’, passing through how calmly he had confessed everything to you, and ending with his sincere congratulations and the promise he wouldn’t interfere, but also letting you know that in case you ever wanted to do something fun together with him and Gwen, all you had to do was shoot him a text and they would’ve been more than ready.

You knew that Harry was trying to be nice in his own, very personal way, but ever since that day, you just hadn’t been able to shake that feeling off. He and Gwen were so attracted to your boyfriend that they would’ve been willing to tolerate your presence – even to have sex with you –, as long as they could get him in their bed...

“But he was the one who suggested me to drink to find the courage to talk to–”, Peter objected, before interrupting himself again. “Oh.”

“He told me that, too”, you mentioned, chewing on your lower lip. “He said he wanted you to be happy. But that he also wanted to get some sort of little revenge for himself”, you concluded with a shrug.

Classical Harry.

“That’s...” Blushing, he moved a rebel curl behind his ear, beaming like a schoolgirl. Or like Debby Ryan. “Oh my God...”

“Right?”

“I’m... flattered... eighteen-year-old me would’ve thrown his boxers at him, though.” He allowed himself to get lost in that little fantasy for a few seconds, and honestly? You couldn’t really blame him. Harry Osborn might have been a jerk, but at least he was a hot jerk.

“It’s not too late...”, you joked humourlessly.

“Sorry. I’ve found someone else I like throwing my boxers at”, he replied with a wink, stepping out of that daydream in no time. As pleasant as it was, he enjoyed this reality more. He made his way back to you, leaning in for a kiss. “I like throwing my whole incredibly expensive suit at you, actually.”

“No Spider-Man sex jokes”, you frowned, raising your hand to stop him. “We’ve talked about this.”

Peter simply settled for pressing his lips against your palm. “Right”, he agreed, fingers encircling your wrist as he moved your hand to hold his cheek. “Only Spider-Man sex”, he grinned wickedly at you, the action spreading warmth all over your body. He felt it, and it meant you had caved in. “So?”

“So what?”, you questioned dumbly.

“Your point?”

“My point?” You blinked repeatedly. Hadn’t you already told him everything he wanted to know? “What do you mean?”

“Darling, you just made a list of people who you claim want me”, he explained with the patient of a saint. “Your point?”

“You could... have any of them, if you wanted”, you sighed. “Even two at once, I think Harry and Gwen might have some poly situation going on, but I’m not that sure, I might need to ask them...”

“y/n”, Peter cut your rambling off, hands finding your knees and massaging them gently. “Your point.”

“My point is...” You couldn’t resist placing a feather-light to his knuckles, fearing that this could be one of your last chances. You were about to open his eyes, showing him a new horizon, an inviting road paved with precious gems that shone bright. So much brighter than the rough stone he was dealing with at the moment. “With all of them around you...” Your voice faltered a little and you had to clear your throat, scared it would break.

“... why on Earth would you settle for me?”

“S–” The movement of his hands halted and he took them off of you. “Settle for–”, he wheezed, like he was in the middle of a respiratory crisis, backing away until he bumped into the table, his now out of control inhumane strength pushing it against the wall.

Neither of you seemed to care, though, Peter being overwhelmed by the bomb you had just dropped upon him and you drowning in worry and guilt.

“Are you okay?”, you fretted, hopping off the counter.

“I need to sit down”, Peter whimpered, pale as a ghost and blindly reaching behind himself and slumping in a chair as soon as he found it. “I really wish I could get drunk right now. Like, absolutely wasted.”

You stood there awkwardly, watching him as he inhaled and exhaled, gripping his hair and tugging at the roots, leaving you torn between wanting to comfort him and being scared that it would only stress him more. Luckily, he seemed to recover quite rapidly.

“The drunk me you met at that party? I need him back”, he said, looking a bit more relaxed and even surprising you with a laugh. A forced and honestly quite dry one, but still a laugh. He beckoned you closer, hugging your waist and resting his forehead against your abdomen.

“The drunk you who straight up told me he was Spider-Man when he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone?”, you remarked, as your fingers found their legit place, tangling themselves through his curls and Peter mewled contently at the feeling of your nails lightly scraping his scalp, then took a deep breath.

He loved it so much when you didn’t wear those heavy perfumes that messed with his senses and made his head spin – and not in the good way. They covered the delicate scent of your skin, the one of your body soap. Violets had become his favourite flowers because of it. Well, also because of it.

“Yeah, that guy”, he grumbled. “I need him to deal with this nonsense for me.” He raised his head to give you an eye roll, but his playfulness vanished just as quickly as it had been restored.

“Oh no...” He pouted, touching the spot between your eyebrows. “I know this wrinkle. There’s more, isn’t it?”

Caught red-handed, you looked away, regretting how your stupid face always betrayed you. “I mean...”, you tried to buy some time for yourself, thinking of the most diplomatic way to tell him. “These people are not actually hitting on you–”

“Thank God.”

His relief didn’t rub off on you, failing to ease your concerns. “... b-but they would still be...”, you countered weakly, lacking the courage to pronounce the words that haunted you.

… better than me.

You gulped them back, along with the tears they brought with them and that were threatening to choke you. “But you still did have feelings for them”, you argued. “A-and it would make sense if you wanted to...” You didn’t need to finish for him to understand. “Like... Liz Allen.”

To be fair, you had only seen Liz in some of the many pictures Peter had showed you while telling you about his universally forgotten life, but she had struck you like a lightning in the middle of the Thunder Plains in Final Fantasy X, with those plump lips and that smooth skin. You had no trouble believing he used to have a crush on her.

“You mean the girl who had to move to another city after I sent her dad to prison on the very same night I stood her up to prom?”, Peter asked you sceptically. “Wild guess, but I might not be her favourite person in the World, not even after that memory spell.”

“But it’s not only her...”, you responded, getting ready to bring the most painful name into the conversation. “I mean... you were with MJ...”

Yeah. MJ.

His ex and first girlfriend. His only girlfriend before you.

MJ who was as tall as a model and rocked curls that wanted to make you cry.

You hadn’t met her in person either, at least not up-close, your interactions being limited to occasionally ending up in each other’s field of vision whenever you would attend the same class once a week, but just like he had done with Liz, Peter had told you everything about her. But, unlike what he had done with Liz, he had talked to her just last week. He had come to you right after, still incredulous, walking like a massive weight had just been taken off his shoulders, and he had informed you that MJ had asked him to introduce the two of you to each other.

“She’s still working on her social interactions and making new friends, so this is rich coming from her”, he had shared with you.

The next day, MJ had tentatively waved you goodbye right before she would leave the room and disappear in the gargantuan stream of students and teachers moving in all sorts of directions at variegated speeds.

Peter absently gave your hips a little squeeze, furrowing his brow in confusion. “... and now I’m with you, so?”

“S-she was your girlfriend...”

“And now she’s my friend.”

You insisted, confused by why he didn’t seem to follow you or your logic. “Only because things between the two of you didn’t end in a normal way.”

Which was also the reason why things between the two of you had not begun in a normal way.

“You’re right: they didn’t”, he nodded in agreement. “And I initially planned to rebuild things as they were. Telling her everything. Getting back with her.”

It didn’t matter how many times you had imagined him saying that – driven by the absurd belief that always assuming the worst things ever could protect you and your feelings – that sudden confession still knocked you down with the devastating strength of a hurricane. “And... and why didn’t you?”

“I did”, he told you seriously.

“Wait, what?”, you asked, out of breath, now finding yourself on the receiving end of news you had no idea how to process. “Y-you mean that she...”

“She knows.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

Your entire body stiffened, your mouth running dry as you had been left too stunned to speak, all those words whirling in your brain, breaking out of your head, aggressively rotating around you, making you feel like you’d been trapped in the eye of said hurricane.

“This is... fuck, I wanted to wait for you to meet them in person, but...”

In that cacophonic Hell, Peter’s voice was the only thing that make sense, the only sound dominating all the other ones, your last anchor to reality and sanity.

“Do you remember last week? When I went to talk to MJ?”

How could you forget?

“Yeah... uhm...” Peter interpreted your lack of reaction as a yes and went on telling you about that surreal – even for Spider-Man’s idea of surreal – afternoon. “Ned was there with us and... please, don’t ask me how, but he fixed it.”

“Fixed it?” You had no idea why you were repeating his words like a parrot, like you had trouble grasping their true meaning. It was blatantly clear that he was talking about that damn memory spell.

So, where was the problem? There was no problem, it was good news, something that should’ve made you happy for your boyfriend. And you were. You were happy. Then, why were you cold, all of a sudden? Why the fuck was your chest getting heavier and your legs getting weaker?

“They remember!”, Peter exclaimed, glad that he could finally share this with you. To Hell with the surprise, he didn’t want to hide anything else from you ever again. “Perks of having a Sorcerer best friend.”

“But then how... w-why aren’t you two...”, you stammered. “W- what happened?”

“You”, Peter answered with a disarming simplicity, his puppy eyes softening like he was experiencing the unique chance of looking at something mesmerizingly beautiful. “That’s what happened. You.”

“Plus, have you seen the way MJ looks at Mira?”, he pointed out, jokingly fanning himself like an outraged Victorian lady, but he dropped his act as soon as he realized that you couldn’t get that reference. “Oh right, of course you didn’t, we don’t have that class together... but, to give you the idea, she never once looked at me like that.”

He didn’t sound jealous while saying that. At all. If anything, he seemed rather amused. And inexplicably proud. However, none of that did anything to drag you out of the spiral you were plunging into headfirst.

“Pretty self-explanatory”, Peter commented, but the look on your face made his joy vanish into thin air. “Wait, what is it?”

“I-I ruined it...” You were shaking, not even trying to mask it anymore, staring at his face without really seeing him. That was all he was in your eyes right now, a splash of colour slightly more defined that what surrounded him, a lonely cherry petal floating on the surface of the abyss. “I ruined everything.”

“What do you mean ruined?”

“You could... you could’ve had your life back...” He had found a way to solve it. And yet, MJ wasn’t his girlfriend. And yet, he was here, stuck with you. “... b-but I got in the way...”

“Darling, no!”

You tried to detach yourself from him, but this time Peter didn’t allow it. “y/n. My love, look at me”, he pleaded, clinging to your body and resisting your attempts to break free from his hold. Not without difficulty – because, as much as he wanted to keep you there, he would never resort to overpower you with the help of his raw strength, at least not outside of the bedroom... –, he managed to make you sit in his lap.

“Please, look at me”, he begged, once you had stopped fighting back, seeing how pointless it was. He cradled you, raising your chin to have you meeting his gaze, feeling his heart crush into a hundred little pieces when he saw that you were crying. “It’s true, I could’ve had my old life back, and that was what I wanted”, he admitted, the enormous amount of speeches he had written, thrown away, practiced and practiced until he’d grown to hate them, vividly retuning to him.

“Or at least I thought it was what I wanted”, he corrected himself. “But then I met you.” He kissed the bridge of your nose, then looked at you with a determination that was extremely rare to find on his face when he wasn’t hiding behind his mask. Or when he wasn’t railing you into oblivion, but that was another story...

“And if having that life back means losing you... then I don’t want it”, he asserted firmly.

“Peter, that’s–”

“No, y/n, please, listen to me”, he stood his ground, giving up not even being considered as an option. “I got my friends back and it was more that I could’ve dreamed of.”

You shook your head, not believing that he could be okay with that. There was no way he could be okay with that.

“It’s true. And I managed to do that because of you. Thanks to you.” Peter tilted his head to the side, letting his eyes wander all over your face, before his lips took their place. He kissed your cheeks, your nose, your eyebrows, your forehead, your temples... not a single inch of skin was going to be left unattended.

Once again, Peter Parker took the pieces you had crumbled into, ignoring how sharp they might have been, and put them back together with the dedication of a Carthusian monk, like your mother would’ve said.

“You’ve been so kind and sweet and patient to me. You always make sure to save a seat for me, you always run up to me with your best most terrible jokes and listen to mine, you pass me all the notes every single time I miss a class. That lilac highlighter you always use reminds me of your bedroom. Everything is lilac in there. You’re so obsessed with that colour and it’s so freaking adorable. And I don’t know why, but the pages always smell like violets. It makes me think of your scarf, and how you always force me to wear it when I forget mine... like I’m not the one who recovers faster from a cold...”

To avoid getting drunk on his affection – or drunker, since you were definitely tipsy –, you pushed his face away, poking his cheek. “It’s because you’re such a drama queen when you get sick.” You couldn’t help teasing him, that tender goofy image of him, bundled up in at least three blankets, hungry for cuddles and asking for a kiss before and after taking each medicine, breaking down your resistance.

“And you still put up with me every time it happens. You and your pepper, honey and turmeric concoctions. And curiously, you always end up getting a cold as soon as I get better.”, he teased you back.

“Like that’s my fault”, you shot him a nasty look.

He winked at you, before he carried on with his monologue. “And maybe you think I don’t notice, but I know that you always mutter insults in your native language when you see that someone on patrol roughed me up.”

“H-how...?”

“I may not understand with my ears, but your face says enough”, he explained, squishing your cheeks, laughing when you swatted his hand away and stuck your tongue out at him. “You helped me improve my web shooters – Mr. Stark would’ve hired you right on the spot, which is why I keep telling you to apply for something there...”, he trailed off, the memory of his mentor hitting him harder than he expected it would.

You wordlessly scraped the nape of his neck, a little gesture to let him know that you were there for him like he was there for you, and he mouthed a ‘thank you’, rubbing his nose against yours.

“You made me try eyeliner for the first time.” To emphasize that, he even fluttered his eyelashes, getting so close to you the action tickled your cheekbone.

You had to appeal to every scrap of strength and determination you had not to blurt out how fucking good he looked. That day had marked you like an unremovable bloodstain, the black tears shining on his cheeks and following the path of his sharp jawline, and the heavenly moans you had coaxed out of him while kneeled between his legs were still an extremely appreciated company whenever you found yourself alone, longing for your crime-fighting boyfriend.

“The coffee shop guy hates me because every time I get there, I always pester him for violet-flavoured chocolate, but you should see the look on your face when you get it. I’ve never been so happy of having someone hating my guts.” He paused briefly, the light in his gaze getting duller, the ghost of his next words casting a shadow that followed him like an anathema.

“And May...”

You held your breath when you heard that name. It was very rare for Peter to talk about his aunt, and considering how much he had loved her, and the way she had been so tragically taken from him ahead of time, you didn’t find it hard to believe.

“May would’ve adored you”, he told you candidly, with all the love he was capable of pouring into you through that statement. “You keep calling me selfless and a hero, but you should look at yourself in the mirror. This strength you have...” He was at loss for words for a few instants, the lump in his throat making it difficult for him to speak. “I don’t think you see its full potential, but I’ve only witnessed it once, and it was in her, before I could find it again in you.”

It was like reliving that scene all over again, like seeing May all over again, facing Norman with that absurdly foolish courage that animated her, ready to give it all to protect her nephew, the boy she had dedicated her own life to, raising him like a son.

The comforting feeling of your hand on his face felt like the touch of an angel. “You’re here whenever I wake up from a nightmare”, Peter forced himself to continue. “You kiss my cheeks every time I cry...”

Just like he had done to you.

“I couldn’t think of a day that doesn’t begin or end in your arms.”

“Peter...”

“And I hate to make this all about me, because it sounds like I am, but you have to believe me when I tell you that whatever I did, it was you who gave me the courage to do it”, he added, but if you though that he might’ve been done, boy were you wrong.

Peter Benjamin Parker was on his personal mission: letting you know how much your existence had impacted his own and there was nothing that could stop him now. “I don’t think you understand how important you are to me.” Without waiting for an answer, he took your hand, reverently bringing it up to his forehead and then to his lips for a quick peck, only to place it right above his heart and keep it there, right under his.

“You gave me my life back. Not that old one. A new one. Mine. A life with you in it. Which is the most perfect life I could’ve asked for. And I didn’t settle for it. I wanted it. I chose it. And I keep wanting it and choosing it every day.”

“Stop...”, you chocked on your own sob. There was only so much positivity, let alone love, you could handle being thrown at you without feeling like an undeserving fraud, and Peter had made the choice to unleash the entire load on you. Your heart was going crazy, literally banging against your ribcage, desperately trying to reach out to his palm, to him, like a sentient being. “Please, stop, I... I-I can’t...”

“Shh, it’s okay”, he whispered, moving your hair away from your face and neck so that he could kiss any reachable inch of your skin. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He held you as close as possible, forcing his heartbeat against yours, hoping that its rhythm could tell you everything his words weren’t able to convey. “My love. My beautiful, beautiful love.”

You didn’t believe in God: despite the enthusiastic religious education you had received during your childhood, you had turned out to be a pretty sceptical teen-ager and a firmly convinced atheist later on, but in moments like this – which you were lucky enough to see happen on a daily basis – you found yourself wondering which deity you should be thanking for putting Peter on your path. Or you on his, you didn’t really care.

He had casted a shade of gold on your existence, the dull, toned-down scale of greys you had gotten used to, and that were convinced would follow you to the grave, were now nothing but a pale memory. The burning red that had previously blinded you and cruelly ripped your heart right out of your chest – that being the reason behind you getting thrown under that grey sky – was gradually loosening its grip on you, as Peter’s light shone brighter and brighter with each passing day.

Once you’d poured everything out, both the incredulity and the unadulterated joy, you sniffed loudly, no room left for grace. “You should be illegal, Parker”, your voice was hoarse because of the tears, but you didn’t care. There’s no way being such a perfect boyfriend and an amazing human being isn’t a crime.”

You knew your journey wasn’t over, and episodes like this were the living proof that you still had a long way to go. But you were healing. And Peter was by your side. And that was all that mattered.

“We’d be locked up together, then”, he chuckled. “You’re stuck with me, y/n l/n.” He had to bite his tongue not to call you with his last name. He recently had been dreaming of it, sharing a future with you. And not just as in daydreaming about it, but as in actually dreaming of it, to the point where he had cried like a baby right after waking up, unwed and without the beautiful children he had fallen head over heels with. He could still see their faces, a fascinatingly realistic combination of you and him on their chubby features...

But this wasn’t the right moment, he needed a distraction and he needed it fast, before he’d fall to his knees in front of you, offering you a piece of paper folded in the shape of a ring along with his hand in marriage. “Oh, Ned wants to meet you, too, by the way.”

You pulled back a bit, just enough to look at him, a heart-stopping smirk animating your lips. “Does he?”

“Yeah. You better get ready for our embarrassing first kiss experiment story”, he suggested, raising his eyes to the ceiling. He adored Ned to bits, but he had all sorts of anecdotes about him – especially now that his memory was back and stronger than ever – and sometimes he couldn’t decide whether this was a curse or a blessing. “He says that if you want to be the second in command of my Legendary Guy-In-The-Chair, you have to know it.”

“Can’t wait”, you grinned, raising an eyebrow at him. “I might ask him if you learned that tongue thing from him.”

“Nuh-uh”, he denied proudly. “That’s a natural talent, baby.” He was lying without an ounce of remorse, wanting nothing more than to impress you. Of course, he saw that you saw right through him, but it didn’t matter. “I love you.”

You made yourself comfortable in his arms, cuddling up to him and craning your neck. “Thank you.”

He pulled away, not willing to give you what you wanted until you would stop thanking him for what was rightfully yours to take. “Try again, darling.”

“I love you.” Your voice was low, barely audible even from the other side of the room. You had always been told that love was supposed to be loud all the time to be considered real, that the World needed to know about it for it to exist. It was okay, though. Your World had heard it. And that was enough.

Peter nodded, satisfied by that, before capturing your lips into a kiss. He could read you like an open book and he knew exactly what, how and when you needed it. Now, you needed him to be gentle, and gentle was what he gave you, keeping it slow and soft, fingertips leaving goose bumps along your throat, tracing the line of your jaw, tilting your chin to guide you into the kiss. “That’s my girl”, he gushed when you parted.

The praise gave an additional boost of energy to the already restless butterflies inside your stomach, and you hid your face into the crook of his neck. “Can we always be this close?”

“Forever and ever, darling.”

A/n: There it is! Gotta be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of this, the prompt was lovely, and I loved working on it, but I wasn’t in my best mental space when I wrote it (I was literally going through one of my regular writing crisis and considered deleting all my works) and... Idk, I hope you all liked it. Let me know what you think, if you want, you know how much it means to me 💜💜💜

Taglist: @thollandsdarling @hunnybunimdun @namoreno @nocturnalms @vendettaparker @wildxwidow @mn-jun @thisisparadisemylove @belovedholland @blankspaceblankday

Peter Parker taglist: @omegadumb42069 @spideyspeaches

(Let me know if you wanna be added or removed, add yourself to my taglist or follow me on my writing side-blog @lia-s-liabrary and turn the notifications on)

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #tom!peter parker #tom!peter #tshwritersnet #spiderman #spiderman no way home spoilers #tom!spiderman #tom holland #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #aged up!peter parker #college!peter parker #crush tingle #penguin crush

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grittyreadsfic · 3 years

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hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

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createandconstruct · 3 years

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can i ask about amarant coral? the monk in red himself~

Can you ask about Amarant Coral? *cracks fingers* Oh I insist that you do. Welcome to my Amarant Appreciation Post:

favorite thing about them: First off best thing about Amarant? His theme. The percussion and the guitar. It’s great and it captures him so well. People out here like “take Amarant out of the game he adds nothing.” EXCUSE ME? You remove the Amarant you remove the Amarant Theme my friend and that is something I do NOT vibe with.

least favorite thing about them: I wanna know more about him. Now Amarant doesn’t need a backstory or history in the game. In a sense, he already has one that connects him to Zidane and explains his motives and actions and eventual arc. But my issue is, Square never gave him anything else. If you look at Ultimania there’s additional lore about other characters, like Steiner for instance. You learn Steiner was a war orphan who was saved by the Pluto Knights - explaining his devotion to them. Amarant though? Square was like “uh... yeah he was born....? And then he uh got famous...? Idk then he met Zidane. You figure it out.” Square. I hate you. 18 years from his birth until he became “well known”. WHAT WAS HE DOING. WHY’D HE BECOME A SECURITY GUARD. WHAT WAS ON HIS RESUME. TELL MEEEE. Like, okay, what the actual in-game canon gives us on Amarant is sort of enough. He’s a purposely written mysterious “cool-guy” character so we’re given scraps to make him unknown but come on. In the published after-game canon, like Ultimania, we could have been given a bit more. He says he doesn’t remember anything about his origins or parents, but why. Was he another victim of Gaia’s wars? Probably. Was he born on a battlefield? Fighting for his life, living without comrades, taking scraps whenever he could? Was he betrayed when he was young? Is he a supposed to be a version of Zidane had he not been adopted into Tantalus by Baku??? These are questions I deserve answers to, Square.

favorite line: “’I can't just walk away. It goes against my nature...’ You're a real simpleton. Forget it, guys. There's no stopping this fool." I love this. Amarant figures Zidane out pretty quickly after Ipsen’s Castle. Zidane is hardheaded and also an actor. He acts cool and pretends his reasons for doing things are loose but when he’s decided something it’s always for a reason. You don’t need a reason to help people, but Zidane has his reasons for helping Kuja and while Amarant doesn’t give two shits what they are he knows Zidane won’t be stopped because, despite everything, Zidane saved a loser like him. Also this line “Tell me! Why didn't you kill me!?" Because I quote it all the time and it makes myself laugh. Amarant is such a drama queen and Zidane knows it. Zidane’s like “dude... what is your damage, it’s 5 pm on Tuesday in Madain Sari. I ain’t getting blood on my gloves cause you’re having a temper tantrum.” And then Amarant runs away to have an existential crisis. He’s 26 but compared to Zidane, he’s the real teenager with angst.

brOTP: I could talk about Zidane or Freya with Amarant but instead I’m gonna say the underrated dynamic of Amarant and Eiko (and also Vivi). Amarant with the kids is truly the greatest gift given by his presence in the game. Amarant has never known true suffering until he became a designated legal guardian of a group of minors. It also kills me how he’s the one to volunteer to carry Eiko and Vivi up the Iifa tree. He looks at Zidane and is like “you have seriously been the ‘adult’ of this group???”

OTP: Gotta say the Freya and Amarant dynamic. I really enjoyed their unlikely friendship in the game but then the content. The fan content. The Freya x Amarant fans out there, you win. Ya got me. You captured me and I am now imprisoned by their banter and begruntled allies to lovers story. Even if they’re not romantic I love them together and really wish the game gave us more of them. But even Lani and Amarant together are valid, though I prefer them as butting head bros. Not much content for my girl Lani out there either, she deserves more.

nOTP: Nothing I can think of. I tend to like platonic pairings for Amarant. The dude needs friends because he can barely define the word friendship.

random headcanon: Before Zidane returns at the end of the game Amarant wanders around a bit, unsure of what to do. He doesn’t feel any place with the others in Alexandria, Burmecia, or Lindblum. I imagine he goes off on his own for a bit like before but this time he’s not after Zidane or a fight. Instead he’s got no particular destination. Yet he somehow always finds himself running into people just like him - or the old him - friendless lonely people who are looking for a fight. He doesn’t go out his way to find these folks he simply runs into them and decides he might as well knock some sense into them. He does however make it his business to go after any murmur of people hatching any ideas of going after the far off little village on the Lost Continent. The home of the genomes and black mages. They were so helpless, so weak that anyone who’d want to mess with them is pathetic in Amarant’s book. Until Zidane returns, no one has the chance to even look at the Black Mage Village the wrong way because in the shadows Amarant lurks, making damn well sure of that.

unpopular opinion: I kinda love that he’s just there for most of the game? While I agree he gets the short end of the stick in the same way as Freya, not receiving additional individual character spotlight (which could have very well been supplied through discoverable lore in the world/npcs or through sidequests) I never considered his “standing off to the side” as a detriment to his character.

Many would probably agree that Amarant always felt like a bit of a parody of the loner character, or at least the stereotype of the loner character. Amarant is so easily paralleled with Squall and Cloud’s surface-level attitudes because his dialogue always felt like something to poke fun at. As the player we’re supposed to align with Zidane’s way of thinking and how he views Amarant. When Amarant loses to Zidane and pretty much grits his teeth and goes “KILL ME,” along with Zidane we’re supposed to kinda raise our brow at him and go “...really, dude?”

Amarant’s a character introduced as an antagonist who has more in common with the power hungry villains of the game. Like many of the characters in FFIX, Amarant is in search of purpose in life, which he has never found, because he was always looking in the wrong places - in places of violence and power. Very toxic-masculinity of him. Amarant is “cool” on an aesthetic level but in reality he’s the polar opposite of cool in terms of what FFIX states about the need for others to be intertwined in your experiences so that you can live a full life.

I sort of love that he’s like a grumpy pitball following a 16 year old and his friends around. Then he sits in the corner when they all meet up and discuss current events acting like he doesn’t care (not to mention he casually walks as everyone is running as fast as they can to escape Terra - made me laugh cry on my first playthrough) He is “just there” but that’s because he has no where else to be, no where else to go, he’s a man without a home. And until Zidane offers his hand, at the point where Amarant is most willing to take it at Ipsen’s Castle, he’s not truly a party member. He IS an outsider for almost the entire game but at Ipsen Castle he joins the party, becomes a comrade, and decides he’ll allow himself to change paths and start a life where he has friends and lives, as well as fights for them. Which is why after that moment, Amarant finally has a victory pose.

song i associate with them: I was scratching my head for so long trying to think of a song or track that had Amarant vibes until it hit me. Outskirt Stand by Tsukasa Tawada (from Pokemon Colosseum). Amarant is so chill, he’s not a bombastic guy, so he needs a theme that drops me in the rocky open desert of the Lost Continent like I’m just lumbering around looking for a monkey-tailed menace. Some other Amarant tunes: Pyrite Town, The Under, Snagem Hideout tracks from Pokemon Colosseum. This post is just an elaborate call to action for everyone to listen to the Pokemon Colosseum soundtrack. Tsukasa Tawada is so great and he has a YouTube. Check him out.

favorite picture of them:

Yoshitaka Amano’s Salamander Coral. I love him. He had too much power.

Also everything drawn by @crispy-ghee. Everything. I will think of this Comic forever until I die. Tattoo it on my flesh. The banter, the dynamics, the post-game content, the Zidane prince-consort outfit, the new Amarant outfit, the stuck-in-the-same-place relationship him and Freya have. Perfect. Go read it and consume Crisipy’s stuff. And also check them and their current art out, they just consistently get better and better. Here’s a first panel preview of my fav comic. Read it.

@hannahlady‘s Amarant art and their Freya/Amarant art is just ugh. *Chef’s Kiss* Here is another preview because you should go look at it.

Here’s a piece that deserves so much more love by @snackage. I LOVE how they drew Amarant. Here’s a little preview. It’s SO GOOD

Anyway TL;DR: Amarant is love and life and you’ll have to pull him from my little gremlin hands.

#asks #scriberat #amarant coral #ffix #final fantasy ix #amarant #final fantasy 9 #freya #amarant x freya #lani #zidane tribal #eiko carol

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irelanddesires · 3 years

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Ny Början- Chapter 1

Pairing: André Burakovsky x reader

Warnings: Fluff, eventual smut, hockey violence, domestic violence (in the beginning), idk probs more.

Summary: With the help of a group of unsuspecting heroes you are saved from a toxic relationship. One of your saviors goes above and beyond anything you could ask for. A friendship is forged and after awhile feelings happen. Could ths be your happy ending?

A/N: Hi I’m trash and this idea has rolled around in my head for w e e k s. I’ve played hockey for a really long time and the Avs are my team... Burky happens to be my hockey crush so I figured I would share this. IDK what it is but this challenged me a lot and I can’t write a guys perspective to save my life ffs. Dialogue is hard my doods. Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think!

Going to the club was the last thing you wanted to do. Between working two jobs and trying to stay on top of your classes it didn’t leave much free time and you didn’t want to spend that sparse time dealing with drunk people and loud music. Your boyfriend, Matthew, had insisted that this was exactly what you needed after the week you had. At this point you both had been there long enough to see friends call it a night and you were pretty sure that Matthew was one drink away from making a fool out of himself.

“Matt, can we please go?” you asked, hoping that he would finally agree.

“Loosen up! We never get to spend time together. Let’s enjoy this!” he practically yelled.

“We’ve been here long enough. It’s late and I have an early shift tomorrow.” you urged. At this point you wanted to go home, get out of this dress and crawl into bed. Nothing at this bar held your attention. Matt’s had grabbed your arm, his face inches from yours.

“I said no. We’re not going anywhere. I’m not finished here.” he ground out.

The look on his face left little room for argument and was quite scary. Matt was usually a nice guy, the perfect boyfriend, but after drinking he could become a totally different person. Matt had never hit you but the emotional toll it took on you could be just as painful as a physical blow. After the week you’ve had of working 12-14 hour days just to come home and clean before passing out just to do it all over again made you throw all caution to the wind. You wanted to go home for fucks sake, not be here.

You snached your arm from his grip, looking him in the eyes, “I’m tired, I’m going home. You can stay if you want but I’m not.”

Before he could say anything you spun on your heels and marched out the side door that led to a less busy street. You hoped this would give you some peace and quiet as you ordered your Uber. Just as you tapped the app to get an Uber the door behind you swung open. Matt stumbled through the doorway and onto the sidewalk with you.

“You can’t leave me,” he said.

“Matt, I’m going home to sleep. I don’t care what you do.”

“I said no!” he roared. Before you could comprehend what was happening your head snapped back and you were pushed against the outside wall of the bar. The brick dug into your skin as you tried to struggle against the hands holding you there.

“Why don’t you ever listen to me you bitch.” he said as his fingers dug into your throat, “If I tell you to do something you fucking do it!”

Panic seized your chest as his hands circled around your throat. The throbbing in your head forgotten about as your fight or flight instincts kicked in. You tried to kick him as hard as you could but it seemed like he wasn’t phased at all by it. Your hands grabbed onto his, your fingernails digging into his skin trying to get any distance between his hands and your throat. Just as spots began to dance around your vision the same door you both had exited from swung open and a group of people spilled out.

Before you could try and scream for help one of them turned around and spotted you. His face went from relaxed and playful to murderous in seconds. You didn’t have time to gather your thoughts before he was charging both of you, shoving Matt off of you. You fell to the ground in a pile, your muscles felt like jello but your brain screamed at you to run. Looking up at the situation happening in front of you all you could see was the back of the stranger that had come to your rescue. His friends had caught on quick and made it over to stand around you too, like shields between you and Matt, as you gathered yourself.

“Is there a problem?” One of them said, the voice sounded like it came from the one that had charged Matt but your brain couldn’t comprehend everything that was happening.

Matt stumbled to his feet before looking at the mystery men. “Mind your business” he slurred.

“I don’t think so. You want to get to her, you have to go through us.” a voice called out.

For a moment it looked like Matt was considering it. His eyes scanned each guy before landing on you.

“This isn’t over you fucking bitch!” he yelled before turning around and making his way back into the bar.

The door didn’t have time to shut all the way before one of your saviors crouched down in front of you. His hazel eyes searched your face, “ Are you okay?” he asked

As much as you wanted to tell him your entire body felt weighed down, you bit back your weakness,

“I’m fine.” you said as you began to try and stand. It took a couple tries to get your feet under you. You tried to use what energy you had to stand, you were nearly there when your legs went to give out. Hands caught you around your waist and pulled you the rest of the way up.

“You don’t look fine” the mystery man said and he held onto you, carrying the majority of your weight. “Look, let me get you somewhere safe and I can take you home”

You looked at him, searching his face for dishonesty. At this point you figured that someone, or a group of people, that came to your rescue surely couldn’t be bad people. You silently agreed for his help with a nod of your head.

The rest of the time you spent with the group of them went by in a blur. They all talked amongst themselves in whispers, every now and then you caught words. At one point you caught the name “André” and you assumed this was the name of the guy holding you up. Before long a car pulled to the curb and your stranger opened the door for you before helping you inside. None of the other guys followed so you assumed they were getting their own Uber.

The ride was silent for a few moments before his voice broke through, “I’m André by the way”

“Y/N”

“I didn’t know where you would want to go so I figured you could come to my place and then decide what you want to do,” he said.

You looked at him and nodded, whispering a “thank you” as you settled into the seat. You shouldn’t feel comfortable about going home with a guy you just met outside a bar but for some reason you felt safe with him. He gave off a genuine arua of concern and wanting to help. Before you could think about it too much your world faded to black and you let your exhausted and battered body rest.

_______________________________

Having a night off from hockey was rare. What was even more rare was being able to have a guys night with some of the team. Most of the time when games weren’t being played or practice were being held, everyone would go their own ways. Some would spend time with their significant other, some would spend time alone or some would visit family if the break was long enough.

Tonight a few of us had decided to let loose and bar hop across Denver. Usually this time of year the weather was starting to get cooler which made bar hopping more of a chore. Tonight however, the weather was perfect which gave us plenty of reason to have some fun.

The first bar we went to was picked by Miko. He said this was the best bar in Denver with the hottest chicks so more than a few in our group were eager to get there.

The outside of the building was modern with sleek black walls and the walls that weren’t stone were see-through glass. Through the windows we could see people dancing with lights strobing through the air.

We quickly made our way inside and were ushered to a VIP section, one of the many perks of playing professional sports was getting recognized when out since it usually led to getting a more private area. The captain of the team was with us so of course we were bound to be recognized.

We all bounced around from group to group chatting and drinking. Some of the guys had found partners to dance with while the rest of us just hung out. Time passed and we all were eventually some level of intoxicated, some more than others. Nate brought up the idea of heading to the Pur, a rooftop bar with a chill atmosphere. A group of us thought that was a great plan. The constant bass and flashing lights got old as the night wore on.

The five of us; Gabe, Nate, Miko, Gru and myself headed toward the back door. We hoped we could escape quietly and back doors were usually best for doing that.

The heavy door swung shut behind us as we spilled into the cool Denver night. A noise caught my attention, turning my head to see who else was out here, I was met with a scene I wasn’t expecting. A man had a woman pinned to the side of the building. Her feet dangled off of the ground and her hands gripped his that were circling around her throat. Time seemed to stop and instinct took over as I rushed to them. Before I could comprehend what I was doing my fist was sailing through the air, connecting with the man's face before he fell to the ground. The girl slumped to the side of the building in a heap. Concern for her swam through my body but I knew this guy had to leave before I could help her.

The man stumbled to his feet. By now the guys had joined me, putting ourselves between the pair.

“Is there a problem?” Gave asked

“Mind your business” the man mumbled.

Rage burned through my body and it took everything in me to not pummel this guy.

“I don’t think so.” I called out.

The man took a moment. His eyes scanned each one of us. He must have eventually decided he was outnumbered and didn’t want to take his chances.

“This isn’t over you fucking bitch!” He yelled before stumbling through the door we had just come out of. Relief flooded me now that we didn’t have a fight on our hands. A whimper from behind me had me turning and dropping to my knees.

“Are you okay?” I asked. My eyes scanned over her checking for major injuries. Her breathing hitched as she tried to push herself up to stand. Halfway up her legs seemed to give way. Before she could tumble to the ground I grabbed her, hauling her to her feet and holding as much of her weight as I could.

Her hands tangled in my shirt holding on for dear life. There’s no way she would be able to make it home and I didn’t trust leaving her like this with a stranger. Looking around the group of guys, Gabe was the first to speak up.

“What’s your plan? Get an Uber?” He asked.

“Yeah, I think I will take her to my place. I have a spare room she can sleep in and she can figure out something in the morning”

The guys nodded in agreement. No one wanted to leave her alone right now. Especially not with her angry boyfriend, or ex boyfriend I hope, on the loose.

“I’ll get you guys an Uber,” Gru piped up.

“Thanks” I muttered, turning my attention back to the girl clinging on to me.

The rest of the wait was quiet. No one talked about going anywhere else for the night. I’m sure at this point everyone wanted to go home and decompress from what had happened. Before long the Uber pulled up and I shuffled us around to open the door. With some adjustments I was able to sit her down and close the door before nodding to the guys and making my way around the car to climb in beside her.

The driver took off immediately, glancing in the rear view mirror between the two of us. We didn’t make it far before i turned to her,

“I’m André by the way”

Her sad eyes met mine and for a moment I didn’t think she would say anything until I heard a whisper.

“Y/N”

Her voice sounded awful and the emotion behind her eyes told me how exhausted she really was.

“I didn’t know where you would want to go so I figured you could come to my place and then decide what you want to do,” I told her.

She looked at me again before croaking out a “thank you”. The rest of the ride was quiet. Once we arrived at my place I figured out why it was quite. At some point during the drive Y/N must had fallen asleep, her head was leaning against the window and her body was curled right around herself.

I climbed out of the car and went to her side. Carefully I opened the door, catching her head when it went to fall. Surprisingly she didn’t wake so I slid my arms under her lifting her out of the car and pulling her against my chest.

Unlocking the door and navigating through my apartment while carrying another person was harder than I would have imagined. I made it to my guest room and laid her on the bed. Not wanting her to wake up uncomfortable I took her shoes off before covering her with blankets and shutting the door on my way out.

I settled on the couch with a beer from the fridge before releasing the breath that seemed stuck in my chest. The last thing I thought about before drifting off was the broken girl sleeping in the other room.

#andre burakovsky x reader #andre burakovsky #nhl #hockey #colorado avs #colorado avalanche #gabe landeskog #gabriel landeskog #nathan mckinnon #philipp grubauer

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ooc-but-stylish · 3 years

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freezedive:

I think I said it in one of your other beautiful posts, but I thought I’d mention it again. All of the ridiculous cutscenes did give us a golden nugget of information on Luna that most of us who are brutally critical of her (like you and me), suspected all along: Luna openly admits to Gentiana that she doesn’t think she has anything to offer Noctis outside of being an oracle. And Gentiana makes it worse by speaking in fancy words by saying some bullshit about her being the oracle is her being human or something and that she is fulfilling her true calling and that is what Noctis needs? Idk but it reeked of emotional manipulation.

I hold little to no regard for Ravus because there’s evidence Luna was being brutally beaten right under his own nose while he was busy being the Emperor’s lapdog thinking it could maybe give him the power to save his sister? The man should have opened his eyes and defended her against the men that kept them jailed

I happened on this reply to roxainn’s post while trying to recapitulate all my other FFXV critical posts and reblogs on the way to making new ones.

Crawling back to find anything about this point, I find that it was posted 3 years ago. But at least I reblogged the reply to it.... and missed that it was literally @ ME. Goddamn did I slack.

But here’s my reply, 3 years late, which should elaborate on where I stand on this.

Yes, the flashback that gets triggered by a random creepy little girl in Tenebrae is about Luna and Gentiana. Somehow the little girl knew about that conversation even though she wasn’t there to witness it first-hand? Or maybe Noctis was imagining what the conversation would be like between Gentiana and Luna off of the vague suggestion from the girl, and it’s just him telling on himself that his imagination of Luna says all that? Otherwise the not-altogether-tinfoil-hat theory says it’s Gentiana in the form of a little girl, telling Noctis something that IMO should piss him off but just makes him sad and guilty because Luna loved him so much, don’t you see. She loved him so much that after wrapping her entire life around him, she’d just want to keep that going for the rest of their lives!

Gentiana opens the conversation with, “At first, the father had mourned the fate of his chosen son. Yet in Tenebrae, the two found solace. It was not the Oracle who assuaged their fears. But the girl…she holds…the true power.”

Then Luna replies, “I have little to offer a king, other than the voice afforded the Oracle. Nevertheless…” She turns to look at the wedding dress. “And—I’m afraid he might find this foolish… But…to be together with Noctis again, even if only for a short while… It…would mean the world to me. I do not seek to guide him, merely to stand beside him.”

The exchange is all types of fucky.

First off, she was twelve. What comfort could she have offered Regis and Noctis? What comfort was she capable of when Sylva was right there, an adult with experience of an Oracle and a personality thanks to a presumable full life not hampered by grooming of the gods?

Second, every other scene of Luna as a child is of her telling Noctis his duty, and that it was her duty to see it through. Did that assuage his fears-- the fears he didn’t have at the time since he never knew the entire meaning of his fate and was being told a saccharine, embellished version of it by Luna right there? Did that comfort Regis, knowing a little girl would also die to protect his son if the gods wanted it, but that she wouldn’t have the will to avert their fates whatsoever?

Third, even she thinks Noctis would think her desire to be with him is foolish. So... was she expecting that Noctis himself didn’t have feelings for her or want to spend time with her of his own volition for reasons outside of her job? She was looking forward to a marriage with no emotional security, where her desires are one-sided and unreciprocated, and the man she cares for think she’s worthless outside of her powers? She would’ve been willing to put herself through that, given a choice?

We know what we know and think what we think, but the fact that this was placed right in the vanilla game and no one thought that was wrong, and instead they doubled down on it in patches, is pathetic on their part.

Moreover, what does The Girl have, that was separate from The Princess and The Oracle? Every facet of her being wrapped around Noctis since age 4. She was nothing but her duty by the time Noctis met her; they had no scenes where they acted as children would. Even supplemental/promotional art for other XV media and related locales cement that. Little Luna serves Little Noctis pastries, she’s not seen eating with him. Luna teaches Noctis how to play piano, she’s not playing with him. Dawn of the Future came out with its own art, and Noctis is afforded the liberty to sit in a chair, and his son(?) sits on his lap, while Luna and her spitting image child(?) are both on their knees, looking up at the dudes.

In most of their art together, Luna and Noctis are either not meeting each other's gazes, she's bending or kneeling to him, or he's supposed to be holding her close but he hover-hands her, or there’s that one time where they took a selfie and the picture was of their Pocket Edition versions. They’re still not looking at each other in that one. And it’s not canon.

Anyway yeah, any conversation Gentiana has with Luna about Noctis is emotional manipulation on Gentiana’s part, but the writers manage just enough to make everyone involved seem creepy and reprehensible in their own way.

In DOTF, Luna has a death soliloquy that confirms she sunk into the water at the end of the game’s Chapter 9, but the soliloquy is about how she was prepared to die even at the age of 12, and she put on a smile and resolved to be strong for Noctis’s sake, so that he wouldn’t remember her having a look of despair. There’s a line there about how she would cry herself to sleep but Gentiana would wipe her tears. Gentiana does nothing else except allow her to cry and wipe her tears afterward, and makes no effort to save her from her fate or at least take her out of terrible situations so that she would cry fewer tears. But there is cut dialogue from the game, and used in the novel, where Gentiana revealed herself as Shiva when Luna was <16 (probably still 12 at the time), when she thought she was being held back from forming the covenants, so there’s that. And Luna still somehow ignored that this meant Shiva allowed Sylva to die, and thanked this useless goddess for her nonexistent generosity.

For whatever reason they had to add a passage where Luna superimposes the image of an eight-year-old Noctis onto the adult version-- quote, "the image of him as a child, burned into my eyelids, overlaps with his now-grown face"-- even though Noctis has canonically sent her photos of him as a teenager (15-16, around the time he met Prompto in high school, see: Brotherhood). Granted, that's a translation from Luna's voice actress reading an excerpt as if it were first person POV. The English version says she sees the child image first, then the adult version is superimposed. Then not much after that there's a passage where Noctis smiles as his child self and it was "that smile she loved that had been in her heart all these years, giving her strength, always and forever".

So she was groomed and turned into a shell since age 4, believes she has no value outside of her job and turned her grooming on a similarly vulnerable child, and her strongest image of him, the one she fell in love with and kept in her heart, is of the helpless boy that promised her the world without knowing the cost. The smile of the carefree boy that didn't know his journey would end with his soul annihilated. It couldn’t have been that hard to have her see an image of him as the 30 year old True King of Light that he would become. At least she'd sound a little less like a weirdo who continually places herself (and is placed by the narrative) as below him, unworthy of him, etc. but also has strong feelings and memories toward a goddamn child.

Re: Ravus: you already got a reply to that, but for real? Ravus was also shafted by the plot and beaten down by terrible, amateur writing. The narrative shits on him as if it’s written by a high schooler or otherwise emotionally arrested adult trying to push a Mary Sue Protagonist. The modus operandi for those stories is that everyone who disagrees with the protagonist in any way has to suffer tremendous humiliation including but not limited to death, because the Protagonist Is Just So Good And Perfect And Always Right.

Nothing Ravus does justifies his treatment in-game or in-fandom like he’s a one-note out-and-out villain who wanted nothing but to kill Noctis and disrespect his sister, to the point where his corpse is defiled multiple times in Chapter 13 and he’s twisted into a perversion of himself that begs to die.

Chapter 13 has Noctis land next to Ravus’s corpse and all his letters to Luna, and Noctis has piss all to say about it, either out loud or to anyone. He looks at the Sword of the Father, glances at Ravus, and without a word takes the Royal Arm and lets the Magitek arm-- still dripping, still gross-- fall onto Ravus’s body and doesn’t even move it.

He had no way of knowing beforehand that Ignis and Gladio knew of Ravus being killed. WE didn't even know they saw security footage until Ch13V2 was added in. Noctis happening on his late fiancée's dead bro sounds, I don’t fucking know, like something you’d want to tell everyone else about later. Along with the letters he wrote evidencing that he intended to return the Sword of the Father to Noctis!

An aside: The Letters from Ravus are just weird to behold; it isn't 100% clear whether Luna ever received all of those letters. She had to have received the first one, at least. But the idea that Ardyn intercepted even one other letter so that Luna never heard from her brother between Tenebrae and Altissia is farfetched. He shouldn’t be able to intercept those messages as if they were delivered conventionally. Luna has a pair of magic space-bending Shiba Inu that send letters instantly across continents. If she’s sparing their use to send Noctis one-liners and stickers but can’t afford that for Ravus to send her discrete updates on Noctis’s status, she’s a piece of shit.

They do meet in Tenebrae as Ravus wanted her to, and they have the conversation where he gets on her case about her “throwing [her] life away” for Noctis. So chances are higher that Ardyn only got a hold of all three letters after Luna received them and no sooner, but then he shouldn’t be tossing letters from Ravus at the dude’s body when it makes more sense for him to toss down letters to Ravus, since the writers wanted to make a point of Ardyn having a vicious streak. It makes way more sense for Ardyn to deprive Ravus of Luna’s writing, then insult him with them post-mortem, unless Ravus’s notes were really all he could acquire, meaning Luna never once wrote back to her brother.

The Doylist explanation is that the writing team sucks and couldn't be assed to think of anything for Luna to say because they didn't think of her at all. The Watsonian explanation is that Luna’s a piece of shit and that tracks with her in Kingsglaive watching her brother burn alive in response to the Ring, but ignoring him and running to Regis’s aid instead, but then the rest of the plot presents her as morally pure through her white clothing and “unconditional, self-abnegating love” for Noctis.

Back to the topic: I don’t know, maybe I’m being old fashioned, but Noctis should’ve given more of a shit that his dropping the Magitek Arm on Ravus’s body was probably what turned him into a mutated abomination begging to die, and he thought so little of Ravus that the dude isn’t even in the glimpse of "people who helped me get this far" in the Beyond. Ravus doesn’t even get a spot to wish Noctis and Luna well on their afterlife wedding, not that it makes any sense for any of them to have words to say since Noctis is already dead, no one was there with them, and none of the bros expressed any sign that they knew that Noctis was bound to get married after his sacrifice (he sure doesn’t mention it in the final campfire scene and that’d be a better place than any). But anyway, Regis is in the Beyond at Noctis’s side even though he never told Noctis a damn thing and still never spoke to him from within the Ring, but Ravus? Nah, he’s the real asshole somehow and doesn’t deserve any recognition whatsoever.

The only other characters I know of that have a remotely similar dynamic to Noctis, Luna, and Ravus (lovers, but the girl has a straight-edge protective brother working for the bad guys) is Nero, Kyrie, and Credo (see: Devil May Cry), but as much as I think the writing in that series is hokey as fuck, at least the writer(s) for DMCs 4 and 5 had enough sense to make the love story simple and based it from a line from Amagasaki City-- “I love you, so I love the city that you love.”-- and opted against portraying Credo as an outright villain because if Nero killed him, Kyrie would resent him for it even though she knew Credo was working for the same Order that threatened her life.

Shouldn’t Noctis care about the shit Luna cares about even if he has no personal investment in it or it’s inconvenient to him? Shouldn’t he care about Tenebrae and its prosperity? or about Ravus? Nah, it’s okay, Noctis doesn’t have to respect Luna’s love for her brother or her kingdom because for all intents and purposes, she doesn’t care for Ravus or for Tenebrae as much as she loves Noctis. Her love for Noctis and her looking forward to the wedding is what matters here.

The yaaaas queen vicious clapback from Kingsglaive!Luna about how Ravus is the Empire’s dog is especially rich coming from her when she’s fellating the gods all through the game even though Eos’s equivalent of The Holy Bible says the Hexatheon’s Revelations destroy cities and that undoubtedly means people are killed by the gods, and their summoner is complicit, because there’s no such thing as a perfect evacuation. See: "Revelations left great devastation in their wake, with entire cities being laid to ruin," noted in the Cosmogony long before the True King even exists.

Luna herself didn’t see a problem with this and helped in the effort, with no regard to the collateral damage she would cause with the summoning: bonus points for the part where Leviathan is hostile to humanity and threatens to eat every living being if Noctis fails! She had even less regard to the damage Niflheim would cause in their attempt to kill the gods even though she was first-hand witness to them sacking Insomnia. Waking and defeating Titan deprived Lestallum of the meteor they derived power from. Waking Leviathan destroyed Altissia. Luna’s refusal to leave Insomnia when told to by Regis led to her being used as bait and taking the whole of the Kingsglaive out of Insomnia in time for their Face Heel Turn and Insomnia being destroyed. Everything else leads to the eventual World of Ruin where people also die.

All because she killed herself prematurely from the covenants and didn’t hold back the longer nights as she promised to the public’s face and on her honor as Oracle she would do. Her dying words in Chapter 9 were her being completely satisfied with her fate because “[her] prayers were answered, [her] calling fulfilled”, even though the calling requires that she dies and she should’ve known better than anyone that her death, even if it was for Noctis’s ascension, would endanger the rest of the world for 10 years and helped the Starscourge spread. But instead of fighting for her own life to stem the plague for as long as possible, she let herself die under the belief that "Noct can handle this" to give him the chance to be the revered King of Light. She also didn’t make a single appearance on the world of the living in her spirit form during those ten years until Noctis needed help with a piddly imitation of the Magic Wall, only then does she come down in her ghost form with seemingly all of her power intact, and summons five of The Six as if Noctis can’t easily do it himself.

But Ravus is the lapdog? Luna’s the one with her “ends justify the means” behavior and what looks like general neglect for actual human beings.

Anyway, Ravus stabs Caligo in the back and kills him, and that move only makes sense in light of the idea that Caligo was manhandling Luna as seen in the Dawn trailer. Ravus was 16 when Tenebrae was overrun, and there’s no reason to believe he was magically immune to institutional abuse, so there’s a high chance that he was abused by the Empire too, held resentment of that, and waited for the time he’d be able to retaliate with no repercussions. Gentiana as a goddess is 1000000% more on the hook about letting Luna be beaten than Ravus is, since he saw his mother die in front of him while Regis ran away. Regis had the power of the Ring and could have used elemancy to put out that fire, or void magic to banish Glauca and his MT army, didn’t do that, but he totally spares enough magic during the treaty signing to toss around Thunder spells straight from his hand, cast barriers, and summon some Royal Arms straight at Iedolas, and that’s bad enough. Gentiana who’s been the Fleuret family attendant since Luna was born and also is Shiva who can freeze people with her fingertip had even less excuse to let that fire rage, to let Sylva die protecting her son, and to stand by and allow her ward(s) to get thrown around by some random Imperial soldier.

#freezedive #ffxv critical #ffxv criticism #lunafreya critical #gentiana critical #regis critical #lunafreya nox fleuret #ravus nox fleuret #regis lucis caelum #ravus deserved better #long read

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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 3 years

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I had a whole list of stuff I liked about Supergirl Ep. 6x07 “Fear Knot” typed out and then accidentally hit the keyboard command for ‘select all’ and THEN accidentally hit ‘b’ so.

A list! That will...be much shorter than the original! Because I’m very tired and don’t wanna type it up all over again! XD

Spoilers!

Okay, rapid fire highlights, HERE WE GO!

Space Dad was the true MVP here! Just wonderful J’onn content throughout.

The Danvers Sisters hug! I wanted exactly one thing from this episode and that was it.

Interesting BTS info revealed about the hug: Originally, it was supposed to be the main trio (Kara, J’onn, Alex) but they trimmed it down for time so it ended up being just a Danvers Sisters moment AND, AND! Chyler’s ‘I got you,’ such a LOVELY callback to the Pilot, was ad-libbed!

Fine. Just. Make me feel feelings, show. Geez.

The Tower is a MARTIAN SPACESHIP!

Alex, re: the Tower reveal - “I love Martian technology.”

Same, Alex. Same.

The ENTIRE* GANG OF SUPERFRIENDS got meaty character bits that build on all of the stuff introduced in earlier episodes!

*Save for M’gann, but I appreciated they at least had a line about how she was staying behind to hold down the fort.

Anyways, back to character stuff, in particular! We see Kelly grapple with feeling out of her depth as the lone ‘normal’ one in a group of heroes/vigilantes, introduced in...was it 6x03? AND we see the set-up for GUARDIAN, WOO!

The thing I love about the Guardian mantle, for James and as we’ll no doubt see for Kelly, is that it’s about protecting people; their weapon of choice isn’t really a weapon at all, but a shield.

J’onn and Alex’s stuff more directly ties into how they’ve been handling the ‘save Kara’ mission

Obviously Alex’s fears in particular speak to the larger, ongoing stuff about how so much of Alex’s identity is wrapped up in protecting Kara, but this mini-arc of seven episodes has sort of...laser focused that? A little?

This made a lot more sense in the first draft I swear. XD

And J’onn gets to come full circle with successfully completing the mission by being both a dad AND a strategic leader.

And then poor Nia is still struggling with insecurities regarding her dreaming powers, a thread that looks like it’ll carry over into the next set of episodes.

BRAINY AND THE BALLOONS????

J’onn:

The Lena portion...occurred!

Not really gonna comment on it beyond the very good sci-fi references they packed in there. Of course, we have the Alien 3 reference (which I've opted not to include b/c it’s a pretty gross image that could be upsetting if you’re not expecting it? Also I’m sure it’s all over twitter.)

But the Kelpie also had an Abyss vibe, IMO:

J’onn’s Space Dad montage was EXCELLENT.

J’onn: “NOT TODAY SATAN”

Oh, also, the red Phantom eyes and in-synch talking in Kelly’s fear vision was very creepy.

The different pairings of various characters was cool! I really liked Brainy and Kelly chatting.

And then poor Kara!

AT HER LOWEST!

WITHOUT HOPE!

FEELING LIKE A DANGER AND A BURDEN TO HER LOVED ONES!

Oh, that meaty character work, we LOVE. TO. SEE. IT.

And shock of all shocks, it is PAPA ZOR?!?!?! WHO SNAPS HER OUT OF IT!??!?!?!

BUT! Papa Zor-El is only able to snap Kara out of it because HE HIMSELF was snapped out of his funk by Kara!

And like. I’ve seen the complaint that this relationship has not been built up enough for us to really care but...IDK. I’m a sucker for the moment where he like, gently touches her face and delivers that hope speech and

GUH! FEEEEEELINGS!!!!

And you know what? I’m glad. That Kara’s dad is not The Worst in this particular adaptation.

I mean. He’s done some incredibly sketchy things still, but. Not quite ‘experimenting on your own child, sending her to a foreign planet WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES and brainwashing her into murdering her cousin’ levels, you know?

“That’s my family. They’re really here.”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

And then the hug! THE HUG! It’s so quick but it’s so good and I can’t WAIT. UNTIL AUGUST 24th!

I also love that we got a teaser of the next episode?! That was awesome and wholly unexpected.

(OFFICE SHENANIGANS! AAHHHH LOOKS SO GOOD!)

Oh, also, Nyxly (Nixly??) lives! And catches a ride to Earth Prime, which I’m sure will go over well. XD

As always, some OVERALL THOUGHTS!

ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR DAVID! An interesting but no doubt tricky episode to direct! It came together so nicely, though, and had some genuinely neat set-ups in terms of how they used the cast and set.

(Also round of applause for Chyler’s episode last week, totally forgot to give her props in my list. FOR SHAME. For shame.)

In terms of season 6 thus far as a whole...I’ve just really liked this front half, here.

The Supergirl folks have had to work around some incredibly challenging extenuating circumstances during the final season of their show--I mean. They didn’t have their LEAD ACTRESS until several months into filming! DURING A PANDEMIC!

And while...yeah, I’ll admit I found some of the exposition in various episodes to be. Trying? And still pretty packed because they’re juggling so many characters...that they’ve managed to have such nice character bits throughout is just. GOOD. IT’S VERY GOOD. I LIKE IT A LOT.

As I mentioned above, this mini-arc of seven episodes has done such a solid job of setting up and developing internal conflicts for the characters that are exacerbated by the external conflict that is Kara’s absence. Like, everything is pretty tight! And connected! There’s such a good through-line EVEN WITH the two time travel episodes!

(And, okay, I’ll indulge in one targeted bit of ‘c’mon fandom, really?’ - I’ve already seen complaints of, ‘I thought this show was about SUPERGIRL’ re: this particular episode and like...did you miss? The whole previous episode? That was such a nice Kara showcase? And I say again: LEAD ACTRESS. WAS UNAVAILABLE. AND HAD TO PLAY CATCH-UP. ALSO, PANDEMIC.)

(And in fact, the whole Phantom Zone plot has been a BRILLIANT bit of efficient storytelling--you not only have an in-universe reason for your lack of a lead, but also, it creates this space for the other characters to really miss Kara.

I guess the way I would describe it is like...going back to Kara’s original death in Crisis--yeah, it sucked that she died, but the entire DC Universe came together to talk about how heroic and great she was. And in a final season? Of a show called Supergirl? If you can’t have your lead on screen, the NEXT BEST THING is to have the character’s presence really felt via the OTHER characters.

With stuff like, having her inspire them! And reflecting on what she means to them, as a friend and family member!

...Again, this made more sense in the original draft? XD)

...Anyways.

My only nitpicks: I miss Will! But understand why he hasn’t been around, from a story standpoint. Also, the dialogue in some of the earliest episodes didn’t always...gel? But these last three in particular have been much improved in that regard.

IDK if I’ll keep these li’l positivity lists going throughout the remainder of the last batch of episodes--the move to Tuesday night has been tough. XD But either way, SUPER (ha, ha) excited for the back half!

#SG post #long post #supergirl spoilers #supergirl season 6 spoilers #gif #gifs

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qwirk · 3 years

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*vigilantes ch. ~64 and main manga ch. ~255 spoilers*

although idk if these are really spoilers if these chapters came out a couple years ago! anime-only fans beware. anyway here’s my extremely long rant about the obvious, not trying to explain anything- i gotta yell!

so that vigilantes arc destroyed me! i’m not good at immediately putting thoughts about media into coherent points but i’m just so sad :( first of all after catching up with the main manga, shirakumo, despite being technically dead during his introduction, rocketed up to one of my favorite if not my favorite character. aizawa is also up there for me- he was first introduced as this strict teacher who seemed to psychologically torment his students for the fun of it, or at least for some yet unknown ulterior motive. but we now know that, while still kinda harsh, he does this to give his students that lead-dropping-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach rush in order to push them to succeed (or something like that?). he truly cares about his students and their growth which has been demonstrated multiple clear times. but what drives him to be like this??

shirakumo!! his actions today are a clear answer to the pushes shirakumo gave him back when they were students. they’re so obviously influenced by shirakumo that they’re almost literally answers. the main chapters are a little foggy because i speedread them at 3 am, but i just caught up with vigilantes.

at the start, aizawa sees himself as someone who’s constantly just behind and will stay there as everyone moves on. he trudges into class drenched after leaving the kitten behind and he’s super emo about it. meanwhile, shirakumo literally flies through the window, also drenched, saved not only the kitten but aizawa’s umbrella, and manages to put on this cheery (albeit borderline explicit) show about it. it’s a CLEAR contrast between the two and aizawa goes as far to say that he hasn’t reached his “true self yet” while he looks at shirakumo and then says that he starts to change.

as if it’s not enough for aizawa to beat himself up mentally, his classmates bring him down for not having a “heroic” enough quirk. shirakumo is constantly stepping in to bring him back up, even during real work study stuff, and goes as far to lend him a pair of his goggles so that his eyes become more useful. this becomes a stronger bonding point between aizawa, shirakumo, and hizaishi for them to start looking to the future together. while wearing those goggles, which are protecting his sight from the strong winds on the roof, he stares into the sky, feeling like he’s getting swept into the future like the clouds in the wind. (also the clouds as a metaphor. damn)

and then we come to the last fight. everyone that aizawa looks up to is crushed in the wake of the villain, and he’s the last one standing. there’s a group of children to protect, and he’s panicking and drowning in his overthinking. the way he’s given a huge panel to himself only to be visually overwhelmed by his thought bubbles stood out to me. and then the thing that snaps him out is shirakumo’s voice cheering him on. it’s a bunch of simple praise, but it means everything in the situation. the friend who’s been pulling him up no matter how hopeless or apathetic aizawa feels is of course the one to spur him into action in a life-or-death situation. aizawa realizes he’s gotta fight immediately, and even reminds himself of exactly what shirakumo told him- that his quirk IS useful and levels the playing field.

i was already kinda spoiled for this part since i read the main manga first, but hearing shirakumo’s cheering the entire time while aizawa is absolutely toiling to defeat this huge villain would have been touching regardless. and when he lands in triumph, hurting but victorious, he screams for his friend to hear that he did it!! but then you see this joy start to like. rot away as soon as it pans to kayama and hizaishi. it’s raining again (THE CLOUDS AS A METAPHOR! DAMN!). shirakumo’s corpse is lying feet away from him, staining the medics’ sheet with blood. i don’t have much to say about this part, it was just a lot for me to process!! also i’m still not entirely sure about the way his speaker works so i might be wrong here, but did he really spend his dying moments with a traumatic head injury cheering on his friend to not only beat the immediate danger, but to self-realization?? or maybe it was prerecorded? idk but either way, truly a hero.

aizawa and hizaishi are left standing in the rain because once again, “it fits the mood.” so obviously there’s the callback to when aizawa first said that when he comes to class after leaving the kitten and i have yet to fully comprehend it because i have no braincells for interpreting media. i guess maybe it’s like- aizawa at first felt terrible for not being able to save even a kitten while being enrolled in the most prestigious hero course in the country. getting drenched while settling with (what he considers to be) a cowardly measure is the icing to the cake for his self-hatred. it’s the classic “this might as well happen” scenario to get soaked by random rain or a car splashing you with a puddle on a bad morning. rain is sad. but in comes shirakumo, equally drenched but still the bright light that he is. he’s also done everything aizawa couldn’t but wanted to and more in this situation. he could do it not just because of his storing quirk, but because he held the life of someone who needed saving more important than the school rules. this decorum lets the kitten slide as it makes itself at home in the classroom. the rain stops soon after. but then you have shirakumo’s death. once again, aizawa, and even hizaishi, who’s usually always upbeat (almost every panel of him was just him screaming YEAHHHHH. plz give him more dialogue) both agree that the pouring rain fits the mood. this also brings us back to the present that preceded the flashback- koichi just rescued a cat and a child from a villain with aizawa’s help, and now they’re standing under an awning to escape the rain. this situation is literally almost exactly what happened at the beginning of the flashback which is why i guess it brought it on, but it’s interesting to see what changed- aizawa is the one who’s learned from this situation and teaching the student the meaning of responsibility (using an abandoned cat as an example, no less), and they’re all properly shielded from the elements this time. i guess the conclusion (that could be totally wrong) i’m coming to is that the rain sort of represents the adversaries aizawa faces in life- his self-deprecation, those that don’t believe in him, his personal failures that he has been facing lately. shirakumo has always been there to guide him past it, and once he lifts up aizawa nothing can shake him again. but now that he’s definitively gone, it’s back to haunt him for this one last moment of sheer grief. it’s only this one moment though, as aizawa clearly uses this moment to move on and better himself not just for his sake, but for everyone counting on him. he’s escaped the rain.

it’s so clear how this manifests in the main manga and i’m so happy vigilantes was able to spin out such a good backstory and explanation for his actions!! one of the most immediate ways we see his ideals stand out is his taking in of shinsou as his apprentice from general studies. it’s absolutely because he sees himself in this boy. he has a quirk that’s seemingly useless once you get into combat and everyone thinks he’s a creep for it. more people might even wary around shinsou than aizawa’s case. during the a vs. b practice fights, shinsou explains what he did wrong, clearly upset at himself for not doing enough. aizawa immediately pulls himself up, reminding him that in order to achieve what he just said, he’d have to be a pro, and that what he managed was more than enough. these parallels between aizawa and shinsou are definitely hinted at in the main story, like when midoriya underestimate’s his prowess in combat at usj, but with the vigilantes arc everything is so much clearer. in the main manga, we get a direct reference of aizawa’s expulsion rate in relation to how it helps students grow when they face “’death’” as he’s interrogating kurogiri. though dramatic, i feel like it has to be linked to the dire situation aizawa faced when the pro heros and shirakumo got knocked out during that one fight because of its placement in the chapter. he understands better than most in the story that a lot of times pushes, whether big or small, are needed to grow. he wants to be to his students what shirakumo was to him.

OK EDIT because i didn’t realize there was more to the arc after 64 lol. so obviously after shirakumo dies aizawa’s and hizaishi’s dreams of starting a triple hero agency have been dashed. aizawa seems to distance himself from hizaishi, or at least they’re on uneasy speaking terms. he’s coping by training super hard and is bent on going solo after graduation, the opposite of what they had all planned. but this time, he has conviction on what he’s going to do with himself, and that’s great! he learns that you have to be there for yourself in life. there’s a small montage leading from graduation to where is now in vigilantes and it’s been hard, but he’s been making it. still a lone wolf as ever, aside from the pushes from kayama to become teachers with her and hizaishi at ua. he thinks doing that would be a stupid choice for him, he’s been alone this whole time and doesn’t work well with others (anymore, he thinks). but now that he’s in the cafe with everyone, he changes seeing everyone fawn over the cat but their new dreams of being a popular cat cafe.

the impact of seeing their newfound hope brings him back to another flashback of the rooftop trio, and THE PARALLELS!!! of them also dreaming to start their hero agency based on their first rescue of sushi the cat. back in the present, aizawa, who’s been spacing off, suddenly realizes the sky and his mind have cleared (THE CLOUDS KEEP COMING BACK AS A METAPHOR!!! if this happens in the main story i’ll cry). i’m still not 100% sure of what exactly makes the dots connect for him, but it’s been hinted through the flashbacks and his reactions to the rescued cat that he’s actually a good teacher himself, though he had been mainly shown to have learned from others around him. he drilled husbandry requirements into shirakumo and interrogated koichi about responsibility as if they were second nature. i think aizawa realized that he’s actually always had a soft spot for watching people grow and do good things and wants to be a part of facilitating that. or at least because he wasn’t able to accomplish doing good with his friends originally, he wants to help other accomplish the goal he couldn’t. also the fact that kayama still sends him updates on sushi isn’t just really nice of her, but it’s also another representation of how aizawa’s convictions he developed as a student still drive him to do what he does today.

MY MAIN POINT IS: aizawa really loves shirakumo. to have so much of his character based in the lessons he purposefully or inadvertently taught him is an amazing testament to that appreciation. aizawa never emotes except for the occasional creepy smile when he psychologically toys with 1a, but the emotion he displayed during the interrogation really caught me by surprise. the apathetic emo character suddenly being truly happy or sad is a cliche but this panel right fucking here was so powerful to me:

yeah his eyes are always bloodshot as a trademark to his quirk, but the emotional EXHAUSTION written on his face is so starkly different than his usual boredom. this feeling that horikoshi illustrates in two small panels is so human that it’s instantly recognizable deep in our hearts. we’ve all been in those heavy and direly serious moments that wrack our mental and emotional fortitudes, where the only response manageable without hideously breaking down is some subtle motion of the hand or crinkle of the face. we all know what this means without understanding the japanese onomatopoeia or needing additional dialogue. before i read vigilantes, i still immediately understood what this man meant to aizawa. and that’s why i love shirakumo so much!! we all know at least a little how aizawa used to feel as a student, and to have someone constantly pushing you and acting as such a light in your moments of darkness is something so incredibly special. i really hope they’re able to get him out of his nomu state so those three can finally become heros together :’)

god!!!!!!!!!!

#bnha #mha #bnha vigilantes #mha vigilantes #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #oboro shirakumo #loud cloud #phew i haven't written something like this in YEARS #mod

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legionofpotatoes · 3 years

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alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

#text #long post #aotd spoilers #aotd critical

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roccinan · 3 years

Text

Finally finished S5 vol. 1! Here’s a quick rundown of my thoughts if anyone’s curious:

I felt kinda betrayed by the Andres flashbacks because I kept paying attention to them expecting some kind of connection to the main plot. And there just wasn’t LOL. I can only hope that Rafael will do something extremely helpful for everyone else in vol. 2. Tatiana still doesn’t have a personality?? I was looking forward to her smh. Andres was idk, trying too hard to act like himself but the whole flashback just felt like a VR game or something where you play as Rafael and Andres is your father for some reason, and he has the same dialogue for every player.

That said, the flashback heist itself was fun to watch. It was just bizarre seeing it in the middle of the bank heist for no reason. @ alex pina, you could have just removed all of it and cut it together into a side-story for release next month. You’re welcome for that brilliant marketing idea!

I still don’t see the relevance of berlinito? They could have completely replaced him with Sergio in the flashback or just had Tatiana be Andres’ partner. Just not a fan of this subplot. Even weirder is how it looks like Andres is actively trying to get his wife and son together- why would you do that and then act betrayed later??

That said, the 2-min flashback of Sergio and Andres in the last ep. was objectively superior to all of the above and the only scene where Andres actually felt like himself instead of some NPC.

ANYWAY, the bank heist!! Not a lot to say because overall I was pleased. It was fun, intense, and emotional, and everyone played really well off everyone else (for the most part lol). As an ensemble and as a whole, I loved it. I just didn’t like the individual bits and pieces, like-

Was expecting to see more negotiation on Raquel’s part. Martin didn’t really have the chance to be unhinged, like the writers were purposely pushing him to the side whenever a situation could use his craziness. I felt like Monica’s reactions were realistic (even though I was like “seriously!?” when they tried to save Arturo) but the execution was very awkward.

Please don’t cancel me, but I honestly forgot Helsinki and Palermo were together until they mentioned future dates asdfasdf. Maybe because I started shipping Bogota and Martin halfway through ep. 1- these two honestly had a lot Chemistry to me!? Is it just me :’D Like, they seemed to mesh very well to me. I’m sorry but I wish Bogota/Palermo was canon instead

Speaking of Helsinki, I was hoping to see more of him! Was legit so scared when that happened to him. And hmm, personally I thought that Martin wasn’t angry enough at the people who threw the grenade. He worried for a couple scenes, and then went on being perfectly calm. which isn’t that big a deal, but really man? You kept trying to punish your own teammates last season but you don’t hold grudges against this? I wanted to see him go Feral and avenge Helsinki by blowing up someone else’s leg.

I was hoping to see more Nairobi too :’) And so unfair that Oslo didn’t get a spotlight flashback asdfasf

Alicia’s water breaking arc worked better than I expected, so no complaints there! Not sure how I feel about them pairing her with Marseille(?) but it’s not something I’d complain about, I guess. The Manila-Stockholm-Denver triangle though... I did feel for it, but I was also like, “Manila read the room.” Monver are not breaking apart but I have a feeling Denver might die next volume

Lastly, Tokyo’s arc was beautiful. Everything I wanted for her and more. The surprise-twist Berlin parallel. The flashbacks to her ex-boyfriend. How she fell in love with Rio. Her love for her found family. How she went out so gracefully but so epically. Cannot think of a more Tokyo way to go :’D I don’t tear up often, but Tokyo’s death really made me feel. I’m still really shook over it. She was my favorite female character and top favs- I loved her, flaws and fucked up choices and all since the beginning, so her death really really got me. But it was so beautiful that I wouldn’t change a thing :’)

OK one last complaint: those Suicide Squad TM military special forces were so overhyped. you’d think with those introductions, they would be this elite amazing squad and they were just some guys in the end. Also miffed that they got the whole “these are UnHinGed criminals!!” intro. when that was supposed to be the angle on the banda from the outside. It just felt like they were shoehorned in there to make the banda look like sane, clean heroes by comparison. S1/2 Berlin could have taken on every member of that “elite” squad by himself and won, okay. These guys weren’t even as “dangerous” as regular ol’ Suarez and co.

#OK and I think that covers most of my thoughts!#lcdp5 spoilers #just personal opinion #asdfasf during the alicia scenes #mother turned to me and said 'when I was pregant with you- you tortured me for 36 hours'#SHE CALLED ME A WARHEAD BASICALLY asdfasdf #also Andres being so adamant on recruiting tokyo is so funny asdfasdf does he regret it??#can't believe I accidentally predicted the Andres-Silene 'friendship' of all things asdfasdf

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loyally-unfaithful · 3 years

Text

pacific rim!au — sukuna (I)

word count: 1.6k

summary: his musings were cut off and his blank, glazed eyes focused back on the male looking after him. he looks terribly concerned; megumi thinks yuji should save his breath. he feels something soft dab his skin, just above his upper lip, catching him off guard. the faint taste of copper in the back of his throat informs him of yet another ailment. he’s nosebleeding, and really heavily if the stack of discarded and used bloody tissues next to yuji was of any indication. he didn’t even realise it started. the stains are going to be a pain in the ass to clean.

a/n: yayayaya new chapter! takes place some time after where the fic left off... maybe a few days up to a few weeks after, depending on how persuasive yuji was in trying to convince megumi that socialising is good actually. new chapter name because this centres on sukuna despite being in the pov of megumi :] i had this idea of naming chapters according to character arcs?? but honestly idk if i'm gonna keep it that way... i'll cross that bridge when i get there lol

o yea inspo taken from pacific rim: the black (netflix) present in this chapter, so mild spoiler alert!

heads-up

i write dialogues in what i will call the french/european system? anyway, i see that it’s not the dialogue formatting that most english readers are accustomed to so i modified it slightly to be easier to understand. basically dialogues will be within guillemets (« »), and words that are within the quotation marks but are italicised are actions and/or dialogue verbs.

oh that’s right, sometimes, a new sentence will begin with an en-dash (–), which means that it’s a different speaker.

hope that clears things out a bit and i hope you give me and my fic a chance :)

screams of agony rip themselves out of megumi’s throat, undoubtedly escaping the confines of the drift sync testing* chamber and alarming anyone who may be passing by, as he doubles over in pain. he harshly whispers a slurry of expletives under his breath as he hurriedly rips the pons system* off of him. panicked, yuji bounded over to his partner and asked nobara, stunned into immobilisation, to go get the doctor, shoko. she nodded after a beat, and ran off to search for the physician.

everything seemed like it was going to go fine. like it was going to go as always. the 4 had decided to try and see if megumi and sukuna were drift compatible, and despite the former’s reluctance, they managed to convince him and made their way to the simulation room. as the pair hooked themselves to the machine, it all seemed normal. nothing happened, as it always did when one tried to drift with megumi. but then the dark haired male began shaking, his hands trembling and convulsing—and before they knew it, megumi cried out like he was getting horribly injured, electrocuted.

now, megumi was bracing himself on the control panels, panting and gasping, trying to catch his breath, trying not to crumple up pathetically in front of his peers. his hands still shook from his earlier spasms, and yuji slowly, tentatively, peeled him off of the desk, gently guiding him to a chair. help that megumi wordlessly accepted and appreciated. he’s having the worse fucking headache he has experienced in his entire life, and his ears are ringing, making his head spin and regaining balance on his own two feet impossible. he feels worriyngly lightheaded, but his head also felt like lead, unbelievably heavy, at the same time. he decides that this really sucks.

why did he agree to drift with sukuna anyway? it was just asking for trouble.

yuji asked him if he was alright. does he look fucking alright? megumi wants to spit, but he winces and turns his head instead, yuji’s uncharacteristically soft voice and his own laboured breathing too loud for him. his vocal cords spasms when he tries to speak, and his mind is a garbled mess of static noise; he’s too out of it to speak, much less form a coherent sentence and stammer it out. as he tried to regain his bearings, the pink haired male glared at his brother, looking genuinely pissed.

his brother, who seemed perfectly unfazed and calm while megumi was shell shocked to hell and as pale as death. he hums disinterestedly as he coolly pulls his own pons off, and sighed.

« is that really all you’ve got, fushiguro megumi? » sukuna remarks, no, chides, casually. sounding almost disappointed.

he sets his headgear down on the table before him before slinking over to where megumi was sat, yuji kneeling and tending to him. as sukuna approaches them, megumi briefly catches his eyes. the dazed teen tells himself that he’s hallucinating, he’s convinced he's seeing things because quite frankly he’s beginning to see stars. he did not just see sukuna’s blood red eyes spark a radioactive blue for a fleeting second.

the older itadori offers megumi a bottle of water, asking him if he wanted some. megumi considered it, and tentatively reached an unsteady hand out. the uncapped bottle shook with megumi’s uncontrollable tremors, the contents sloshing around, some spilling out. he barely takes a sip before choking on it, coughing and hacking out water on his poor friend, who thankfully, doesn’t say a word as he collects the recipient megumi roughly shoved back. as megumi heaved and tried to catch his breath, yuji placed the bottle down and worriedly took note of how irritated and inflamed his watery eyes seemed.

horrifically bloodshot.

what the hell happened during that drift?

« i guess that’s my fault for getting my hopes up. » sukuna mumbles petulantly.

« what did you do to him??? »

« brat wouldn’t open up. sukuna shrugs. so i forced my way in there. »

a moment passed for yuji to really understand the implications of his brother’s words.

« you… went inside… and saw fushiguro’s memories, without his approval? yuji’s voice was small, but it almost sounded like he was scandalised. … is that even possible…? »

sukuna laughed haughtily: « just because others aren’t competent enough to do so doesn’t mean it’s impossible. »

megumi helplessly lifts his head from where it listlessly drooped, still recovering, and vaguely registers the conversation. he’s had drift hangovers before, but the dark haired male is sure that drifting shouldn’t be this painful. sukuna can forcefully drift with others? so he saw them? his past? his ambitions? his regrets? no wonder he feels like shit. he would laugh bitterly if he could right now. figures that the only way to get closer to him is to simply take what one wanted from him by force. the wall he has so meticulously built up, brought down so easily. so much for preventing others from being able to drift with him.

he forcefully made his way into his mind; how in the world would a guy be able to do that? did he have his own neural bridge*? an innate headspace that can overpower others? megumi doesn’t doubt that it was possible, but that sort of ability is unprecedented in the history of well… drifting. how much control did sukuna truly have in the drift, in the shared headspace? could he activate his innate neural bridge at any moment? was it possible for someone to not be aware that they’re being violated, dragged into sukuna’s headspace? is he capable of wrenching the truth out of anybody? even gojo-sensei? if he can control what he sees, could he hide things from his co-pilot?

his musings were cut off and his blank, glazed eyes focused back on the male looking after him. he looks terribly concerned; megumi thinks yuji should save his breath. he feels something soft dab his skin, just above his upper lip, catching him off guard. the faint taste of copper in the back of his throat informs him of yet another ailment. he’s nosebleeding, and really heavily if the stack of discarded and used bloody tissues next to yuji was of any indication. he didn’t even realise it started. the stains are going to be a pain in the ass to clean.

« ok well… »

yuji starts, voice heavy with disappointment and disapproval, and addresses his brother while still cleaning away the copious amount of blood pouring out of megumi’s nose.

« just because you can doesn’t mean you should, ok? »

he turns his gaze around, hand still firmly pressing against his co-pilot’s nostrils.

« violating his privacy will not help him trust me any faster. »

sukuna tsk-ed at that.

still hovering in front of megumi, yuji makes the decision for him and his brother: « and we’re telling gojo-sensei. » he says firmly.

« wait- what?! fuck no! i’m not telling him shit! » sukuna splutters, revolted.

« no! no buts, no nothing. anything weird happens and we let him know. that was the deal. » yuji reminds him sternly.

sukuna lowers his arms, before looking away, clearly crossed. he opens his mouth, considering the prospect of continuing, but he slams his mouth shut and bites his lips, his irritation evident in his expression. if he keeps arguing, it’ll just make his brother’s lecture longer, and sukuna knows a “yuji lecture” is coming. he doesn’t need his older brother chastising him like their grandad did.

megumi weakly taps yuji’s hand, notifying him that he’s sound enough that he can take care of his own nosebleed now. yuji concedes and hands him a clean tissue.

as megumi sniffles faintly in the now deafeningly silent room, the training room door is thrown open, revealing nobara, who was breathing heavily as if she just ran the marathon (which she may as well have done, running around the shatterdorme looking for dr. shoko), looking worn out and more than a bit pissed now that the shock had worn off, accompanied by the physician.

shoko echoed the information nobara provided her about the situation and calmly approached a still weary megumi. giving him a thorough once-over, she sighed.

« he drifted with sukuna, right? »

yuji and nobara nodded.

shoko looked back down at the ailing teen. then to sukuna, who was perfectly fine. inside a real jaeger, perhaps, but it’s a simulation: whether one did it alone or with a partner didn’t matter. the training module shouldn’t cause any discomfort, much less an injury.

what happened in there?

« right. well it’s not severe, but fushiguro is showing symptoms of a neural overload*. standing back up from the quick check up, she turned to yuji. itadori, i’d like you to help me bring your co-pilot to the medbay. »

yuji did as he was told, cautiously lifting megumi up and supporting his weight as they made their way over to the medical wing. shoko followed behind them, the sound of her heels clicking on the cold floor the only sound in the room. before she exited the room, she glanced back at sukuna, gaze impassive as always.

« oh, and sukuna, when you have the time, please come over to the clinic. i’d like to have a word with you. »

there’s something not quite right here, and she needs to see for herself.

the itadori in question keeps his gaze down, but nods in silent acknowledgement despite not being pleased with the idea.

satisfied with the answer, the clicking resumes as shoko leaves the chamber, the door swinging closed with a loud thump.

definition

drift sync testing: a mock-pod simulator where recruits train and learn how to drift with their partner.

pons system: named after the latin word for 'bridge', it is a revolutionary connection system designed to be a skeletal helmet with circular clamps that fixed it to the head of the user.

neural bridge: in the netflix series, the context it was used it implied that a neural bridge is synonymous to a headspace (see chapter 2: megumi & yuji (I) for the definition of headspace).

neural overload: drift-related injury which can damage the nervous system and trigger seizures (the latter of which can kill them), however, the damage is not necessarily lasting. other symptoms include, but aren't limited to, blood in the eyes and bleeding from the nose.

a/n: u can probs guess but i have big plans for sukuna HAHAHA now the challenge is if i can follow thru and properly express it in fanfic form in a way i'm satisfied with... this started off as a fushiita idea but the universe kinda developped on its own...

LIKE MY WORK? CONSIDER BUYING ME A COFFEE // CHECKING OUT MY MASTERLIST | LINKS CAN BE FOUND ON MY DESC

#Jujutsu Kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fanfic #fushiguro megumi x itadori yuji #fushiita #itafushi #megumi x yuji #itadori x fushiguro #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #falselywrites #lowkey jsut bullying megumi

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offtopicoverload · 3 years

Note

how would your ideal LI season go?

oooh thank you anon this was really fun and definitely too long and entirely unrealistic because of all the variables but oh well i had fun lmao

Okay I’m just going to start by talking about LIs

I think one of Season 3’s biggest successes was making AJ available from the start, I think that definitely kept those who play for the girls interested

HOWEVER i also think we need one of each: an AJ, a Talia, and a Marisol

Someone you can couple up with right off the bat, someone that takes a bit of time to warm up, maybe around the halfway mark, and someone that isn’t available til the last or second to last recoupling, maybe because they’re only bicurious or its just in their character to take a while to warm up in general, they spent the season in friendship couples or blowing their shot because they didn’t want to move too quick

I know the amount of LIs in Season 2 is a huge attraction, but it obviously wasn’t maintainable, since so many LIs lost their personality after CA

Again, I think Season 3 did great on ideas, but bad execution on drama and actual plot

So I’d probably keep it about 9, maybe 10

And ideally one of them would be trans, probably a trans guy with top surgery scars. Someone makes a joke on the first day and he explains no problem, is open about it and his experiences, maybe he was kicked out as a teenager and is all about positivity and loving people for who they are because of it

I’m all on board for a enby or gnc character or MC, but I honestly think Love Island’s too binary for someone like that to thrive

OH! And an ace LI that’s probably sex neutral and really comfortable with it. They’re up front with their sexuality but have no problem with how sex-focused Love Island is, like they’re fine with the flirting and intimate stuff, they’re just not attracted at the end of the day

Or have this season’s slowburn female LI be demi? I’m not demi, only ace, so I can’t speak on that experience, but I think that might work pretty well, maybe she goes in knowing she’s demisexual and comes out of it knowing she’s demiromantic too? Id love that but idk

I want to touch on customization too, since there’s nowhere near enough

Definitely body types

I forget who said it, but have the typical thin type, a muscular type, and a plus sized

And don’t get me wrong, I know it’s extra work for the artists, but I personally think it’d be worth, but who knows

Make fantasy hair colours possible - blue, green, purple, pink, silver - with the type of variety S3 had, in a style closer to S2

Also tats! And piercings! Just like a septum or some ear piercing, maybe a lip, nothing too difficult

And allow for actually different personalities and careers

I get that most people who apply are going to be outgoing and influencers, but this is all fake anyway so who cares

Have your personality impact LIs, certain LIs are easier to get hearts with with a certain personality, while others have more negative reactions to that personality

Lot of coding but this is just my make believe, what’s the harm

Okay into each day

Id have 20 days, since I agree that that’s a pretty good sweet spot

And Im definitely on board with MC being a bombshell, but instead of introing her on the first day, Id do the second

First half of the episode is spent as a recap of the first day, 5 couples like usual, let’s call the Islanders Bobby, Harry, Camilo, Bill, Rohan, AJ, Talia, Elladine, Miki, and Erikah, I’ll explain later, it’s pretty much for one single reason each

So MC’s first day is the Islander’s second, she shows up like Lucas & Henrik, before all the Islanders are up, and she has an option to say hi to someone early, add a gem to be upfront about being interested or something, during the second half of the first episode

Second episode starts with all the Islanders finding MC and saying hi, whoever you chose to have a chat with’s partner is kinda salty, if you chose a guy

MC ends the day choosing between any of the guys and two of the girls, AJ and Talia

For the guys, like Season 3, three are endgame, ones a red herring like Rohan in Season 1, and one’s up front about it being a friendship couple from the start, since I definitely think we need actual friendship couples - this friendship couple guy is Bobby, but without the pushy crush

Rohan is initially interested, but like in Season 1, he gives it up after a while

AJ is super into it and happy if you pick her and has no problem with it, while Talia has a “no thanks” thing and makes you pick again

Basically, youre not supposed to pick Talia because she’s not open to that yet, and that tosses you off her route or makes it really difficult to fix, maybe only a few dialogue options over the next few days or a specific personality gets her to forgive you. If you don’t pick her, you can couple up later as normal

Day 2 is like it usually is, you’re LIs original partner starts grafting on your LI if you have a male LI, Bobby doesn’t care if you steal AJ, you just have to have a talk with him and he’s fine

You can attempt to reconcile with their original partner, and if you succeed they’ll stop, if not your LI will step in and tell her he’s not interested

Day 3 finds a whole Villa recouping with a dumping. If you have a female LI, then girls are choosing, and AJ will pick you, however there is no dumping for future numbers sake, I know it doesn’t make much sense for the guys to be safe but whatever

If you have a male LI, the boys are choosing. If youre with Bobby, you get stolen and have to help Bobby decide who to dump.

He’ll always choose to dump Miki, regardless of who your LIs ex was or what you say. His reasoning is that she hasn’t made a connection and she was accidentally mean to him once and this Bobby’s hella sensitive

Bobby kinda struggles with it and has a rough few days - You have the option to be sympathetic and keep him available as a friendship couple option, or be a jerk and lose the option to be in a friendship couple

Day 4 is a bit of a filler day, with a fun challenge and some actual conversations.

You learn about your LI and someone else of your choosing, whether that’s a friend, like Ell or Erikah, or another LI youre romancing, like Talia or another of the guys

This is the first time Talia starts to be honest with MC about maybe fancying her and being open to seeing what happens

Day 5 has bombshells: a guy and a girl. The girl is our Marisol of this season, which can also explain away why she’s so slow to open up, she feels like an outcast since she came late and MC can empathise better than anyone which is how they initially bond

The guy is also a LI, but far more bold than Marisol, he has no trouble grafting in front of MC’s LI and trying to steal her or win her over - I’m just going to call him Lucas

Day 6 has another boys’ choice disaster recouping, but with the threat of a dumping on an AJ route

No matter how you reacted to Lucas’ flirting, he picks MC, whether you were going to couple up with him or not, he still steals you from your LI just like Season 2, for simplicity’s sake

The other couples get mixed up, a Nope-adjacent couple are split up, let’s say Erikah and Camilo, but they don’t make it all about them. One of the girls had been pining after a guy but he chooses someone else even though she’s available (Elladine, but Bobby’s oblivious), the girl Bobby was planning to couple up with gets stolen (Talia, but regardless of your route, she doesn’t fancy him), so he couples with Marisol

On a male LI route there is no dumping because the couples are already even

On an AJ route, Rohan is the deciding factor between AJ and Miki. Miki is always dumped because she was barely involved the past few days and Bill isn’t that interested in her even though they were coupled up

Day 7 is the start of Casa Amor, but much shorter this time. Two of the guys are endgame - let’s say Arjun and Carl, two are interested in other girls - let’s say Graham and Nicky, and there’s one you CAN get with, but cheats and gets dumped later on, essentially a Rocco, and one just isn’t interested, another friendship couple opportunity if you don’t want to share with one of the LIs - let’s say Seb

Day 8 is still Casa, you get to know the boys or can crack on with any of the female LIs, though this is still applicable to Day 7

You get a chance to either commit to AJ further or say you want a break to crack on with someone else

If you reassure her, she’ll pie off all the guys and you can stay on the daybed together, essentially ignoring the disaster recoupling and pretending youre still together. But if you dump her, she’ll crack on with Seb if you’re not paired with him, and Arjun if you are, just as a sort of revenge

During CA you can get closer with Talia, cheeky winks in public and getting kinda nasty during a challenge

You get sneaky scenes with Marisol where you learn where her head is at and how she has a hard time opening up and letting people in. You can reassure her and say you’ll be patient or pie her off and she’ll get with the season’s Graham, though they’ll have a different dynamic and ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE AS A COUPLE

Im sorry but boaty mcboat face and MARISOL?? i just dont get it, im sorry

You can graft on Arjun & Carl, tell them where your head is at, and they’re far less pushy

They try to impress but they’re not like poking you until you tell them you’ll take them back to the Villa like in S2

Day 9 is the final day of Casa, with a stick or switch

You can take back Arjun, Carl, Seb, or Rocco, although Seb is a platonic option but you can pair with him the rest of the season as aromantic representation

AJ never switches to save Rohan, and to be loyal if youre on her route

Talia doesn’t switch no matter the route, she spent Casa just hanging out which honestly isn’t the best idea outside of her route

Erikah switches, because like Season 1 Erikah, her head turns quickly, it’s just a matter of time. She switches to Rocco if you’re not on his route, and Arjun if you are. This is going to absolutely blow up in her face

Elladine switches because she gets worried Bobby will, picks Nicky and they actually get on really well

Marisol switches to Graham if youre not on her route to stay safe again, though they dont last anyway, and sticks if you are because she spent Casa with MC instead of the guys

Bobby sticks cuz Bobby

Harry always switches to someone, let’s call her Cherry cuz why not

Camilo sticks to get back with MC or Erikah - Erikah switched, effectively dumping him and really upsetting him

Rohan switches to someone, lets call her Shannon, no matter the route

Bill always sticks

Lucas switches to someone, lets call her Blake, no matter what, just for simplicity’s sake and because I’m already ripping from S2 so who cares

Day 10 is aftermath, much like Season 2

You can talk with your previous LI,

Day 11 has a massive dumping where you vote to save a few people

One of the original Villa boys stays, Camilo is the default but if youre on Harry or Bill’s route, they’ll fill his place

Rohan and Bobby survive

If you brought back a Casa boy, you pick between him and Lucas to be dumped

If you didn’t, Lucas is safe automatically

Rocco/Arjun survive, they’re coupled with Erikah

Either Nicky survives to stay with Elladine or Graham is saved for Marisol if she brought him back, Nicky automatically survives if not

For the girls, Erikah, Elladine, Marisol, and MC are safe

You vote between Cherry, Blake, Shannon on who to save, Shannon is the encouraged option because her and Rohan are actually really cute, but he’ll be nice to any of the girls for the rest of the season

You have to vote between AJ and Talia, sorry queers, i hate it too

Day 12 has a recouping where Talia is finally available if you saved her after everything from Casa Amor

You can reunite with your LI from pre-CA or simply stick to youre CA pick, it’s girls choice, MC is somewhere in the middle

Day 13 has two bombshells - both guys, let’s call them Levi and Tai

Levi grafts hard on MC whereas Tai takes a backseat and MC has to go to him instead if shes interested

Day 14 is a grafting day, you can graft and bond with your LI, Levi, Tai, or Marisol

Day 15 is the second to last recoupling, where you can get with every LI

If youre romancing Marisol, you have a fight in the morning because she still won’t commit and she hasn’t really had an drama on her route yet

Day 16 is an explosion of drama

It’s another Roccogate but on an even bigger scale

If you’re on Rocco’s route, you suffer the backlash, and if you’re not, Erikah does but it still blows back to MC in order to keep her involved

Rocco makes a move on Erikah when MC’s with him, and MC when Erikah is. If he makes a move on MC, she can reciprocate or blatantly shut him down and Erikah will always reciprocate it when he’s coupled with MC because whaddaya know her head can turn at the littlest thing

If he made a move on MC, she can tell her LI who will chew him out privately, or keep it to herself

They basically get caught in the act by Levi, who doesn’t say anything until the afternoon - a lie detector that reveals a bunch of stuff, ill discuss later

He’s asked if he has any drama and he lies, saying no but eventually spills that Rocco made a move on MC/Erikah, and regardless of whether MC reciprocated or not, he says she did

If MC’s with Rocco, she can attack Erikah until someone steps in, maybe Bobby? Or Arjun? and reasons with her. She can get most of the Villa on her side about Rocco being a prick - except for Levi, no matter what, he’ll always side with Rocco and say it’s part of the show

If MC’s not with Rocco and denied him, her LI will accuse her of lying and she’ll have to essentially win them back by the next day or try and get Rocco to clear her name, which she can if they have a high relationship

And if MC didn’t deny him, her LI will dump her on the spot if they have a low relationship, or still win them back if they have a high relationship - but it will still be remembered

Back to the lie detector

There’s the typical S1 questions, cheating is revealed, you can commit to your LI

BUT

If youre on a Marisol route, your LI asks you about her and MC has to confess, which drives a rift between her and Marisol because yeah

y i k e s

Day 17 is the final recoupling

Marisol basically storms into the kitchen when MCs making breakfast and says they’re coupling up and just leaves again. MC has the option to be like “yeah okay, chill” and go back to her breakfast or “what the fuck? no” and chase after her and pie her off

If you don’t pie her off, she chooses MC herself, because that scene in S2 is just really cute and I want another

There’s a double dumping of two boys - Levi and Rocco, and you have no say in it

Erikah, MC, or her LI will essentially turn the Villa against Rocco, while a few of the Islanders resent Levi for his take, mainly the girls

It’s a couple vote, and even if you vote for someone else, they still get dumped because they have the most votes

Day 18 is filler and fluff, meet the parents and final dates, with a surprise dumping where you can get a say and can help them pack, but its a strictly platonic goodbye

There’s so many possibilities and I don’t feel like listing them out right now, but it’s a single couple between three at-risk ones

Day 19 another surprise dumping, why not stick with prom? I just really dig the art, and but maybe make it closer to Season 2? And more personalized speeches!!!

And have a Lottie/Hannah moment!

Idk who all would be here, I don’t feel like listing it out, but I think I have all the dumpings listed below the cut

You can pick between both people dumped who you want to help pack, and can have a moment with either of them, opening a “runaway” option after the finale or reunion

Day 20 is the finale, with the Islanders gossiping and stressing in the morning as some filler content

The afternoon is the announcement, and your placement depends on your couple - If you were loyal the entire time you were with them and have a max relationship you get 1st, if you were loyal but dont have max hearts, you get 2nd, if you weren’t loyal but still have max hearts, you get 3rd, and if you have neither you get 4th

If you win, your LI gets the money no matter what and it’s not based on relationship, it’s based on where in the relationship you are - if MC agreed to be their girlfriend on Day 18, they split the money, and if MC didn’t, then they don’t see a future and keep it

The last episode is the finale party with options to dump your LI for good, make plans to move in, reconcile and explain why MC didn’t say yes on Day 18, or get with someone else entirely

Oh and I want two of the dumped guys to show up together and have started dating outside of the Villa

Cuz I can’t think of another opportunity for mlm in this chaos

This is really messy so I’m going to list out couplings under the cut to try and make sense of this, I think I got everything but probably not its a disaster

LIs

Day 1 - MC or Bobby or Single

Day 3 - MC or Bobby or Bill

Day 6 - Rohan

Day 9 - Rohan

Day 12 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Bobby Dumped

Talia

Day 1 - Rohan or Single

Day 3 - Rohan or Bill

Day 6 - Camilo

Day 9 - Camilo

Day 12 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Bobby Dumped

Marisol

Day 6 - Bobby

Day 9 - Single or Graham

Day 12 - Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Day 14 - Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Day 17 - MC or Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Harry

Day 1 - MC or Elladine

Day 3 - MC or Elladine

Day 6 - Elladine

Day 9 - Cherry

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Camilo

Day 1 - MC or Erikah

Day 3 - MC or Erikah

Day 6 - Talia

Day 9 - Talia

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Bill

Day 1 - MC or Miki

Day 3 - MC or Miki or Elladine/Erikah

Day 6 - Erikah

Day 9 - Single

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Lucas

Day 6 - MC or Erikah

Day 9 - MC or Blake

Day 12 - Blake

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Erikah or Dumped

Arjun

Day 9 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Carl

Day 9 - MC or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Tai

Day 14 - MC or Single or Elladine

Day 17 - MC or Erikah

Rocco

Day 9 - MC or Erikah

Day 12 - MC or Erikah

Day 14 - MC or Erikah

Day 17 - Dumped

Levi

Day 14 - MC or Single

Day 17 - Dumped

Other Islanders

Elladine

Day 1 - Harry or Single

Day 3 - Harry or Bill

Day 6 - Harry

Day 9 - Nicky or Harry/Camilo/Bill

Day 12 - Nicky or Harry/Camilo/Bill

Day 14 - Nicky or

Day 17 - Nicky or Tai

Erikah

Day 1 - Camilo* or Single

Day 3 - Camilo* or Bill

Day 6 - Camilo or

Day 9 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 12 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 14 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 17 - Tai or Lucas/Casa

Miki

Day 1 - Bill or Single

Day 3 - Bill or Dumped

Day 6 - Bill or Dumped

Day 9 - Dumped

Day 12 - Dumped

Day 14 - Dumped

Day 17 - Dumped

Shannon

Day 9 - Rohan

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan or Dumped

Blake

Day 9 - Lucas

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan or Dumped

Cherry

Day 9 - Harry

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan Dumped

Bobby

Day 1 - AJ or MC or Single

Day 3 - AJ or MC or

Day 6 - Marisol

Day 9 - Marisol or Single

Day 12 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol

Day 14 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol or Single

Day 17 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol

Rohan

Day 1 - Talia or MC

Day 3 - Talia or MC

Day 6 - AJ

Day 9 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 12 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 14 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 17 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Graham

Day 9 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 12 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - Marisol or Dumped

Seb

Day 9 - MC or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Nicky

Day 9 - Elladine

Day 12 - Elladine or Dumped

Day 14 - Elladine or Dumped

Day 17 - Elladine or Dumped

#asks #can it kc #also definitely stole this format from bubblybabynailpolish cuz they're hcs are iconic but shush #thank you anon and sorry for whatever this is #litg

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