#and yes i know foyet went on to say that hes not turned on but does that make this scene any better??? absolutely not ! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dr-spencer-reids-queen · 26 days

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Nameless, Faceless: Part Two

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Summary: Not even four hours after the case in Canada, you're thrown into another one. This time, without Hotch. You have a sinking feeling he's not just blowing you off to get some sleep. There's something wrong.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: welcome to the first episode of season 5! i hope you enjoy this series just as much as i loved writing it! <3

I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

You arrive at his apartment building in ten minutes and immediately head to the floor his apartment is on. The second you step foot onto the floor, you know something is wrong. The feeling in your stomach hasn't gone away, it gets stronger. You knock on his door but he doesn't come to it.

"Hotch? It's me, Y/N. Are you in there?" you ask and knock again.

You take out your phone and call him but when you hear his phone ring from inside, you know something is wrong. You take out your gun and try the door knob which is unlocked. You push open the door and get hit with a wave of familiar energy--George Foyet's. You walk in slowly and notice a few things off the bat. Hotch's keys and briefcase are still by the front door, his phone is on the kitchen table, and there is a large bloodstain on the floor behind the couch. Upon further examination, there is a gunshot in the wall, tables and chairs are turned over, and Hotch is nowhere to be found.

If Hotch is dead, you would have seen his spirit here. Though, he has been stabbed multiple times by George Foyet. How he got in, you're not sure but the entire attack is played over and over to see exactly what went down between the two men. If you're going to have hope in finding Hotch alive or dead, you need help from someone you know who can track him.

"Overtime shift. Penelope speaking," Pen says when you call her.

"Pen, it's Y/N. I need you to listen really carefully. Something's happened to Hotch."

"What do you mean, something?"

"He's been stabbed. There's blood on the floor but he's not dead. I would have felt him otherwise."

"Oh, my God," she gasps.

"I need you to send police and FBI techs here right away. Everyone available."

"Do we need an APB?"

"Only on Hotch. I saw his car outside."

"Someone took him?"

"Yes, I believe so. There's a lot of blood here and a gunshot in the wall. Just get people here."

"Okay, I'm sending an army."

"Pen, I'm gonna have to tell Spencer because he and Em are expecting me back but you can't tell the others. They cannot be distracted. I'm only telling you and Spencer."

"Okay. I'm calling everyone."

You hang up on her and immediately call Spencer.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Listen, don't tell Emily this but something bad happened to Hotch. He's been stabbed."

"What?"

"He's not here but there is a lot of blood here and I felt Foyet's energy here."

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"Is that Y/N?" you hear Emily in the background.

"I can't come back but just tell Emily and Dr. Barton that I'm away on an emergency. Don't tell the others. They can't be distracted right now."

"What's going on? Is this about Jeffrey?" Dr. Barton asks.

"No, it's unrelated."

"We only have a few hours left here."

"I'm really sorry, I have to take this phone call, okay?"

"What could be more important than my son right now?"

"I assure you, this will take one second. Please, I promise." Dr. Barton walks away and joins Emily's side to go over the files that Penelope has sent over. "What happened?"

"There's a gunshot hole in the wall. I'm guessing it's a .44 but there isn't any blood or tissue spray around it. Hotch wasn't shot."

"Any idea how he got out?"

"Foyet carried him. Hotch was stabbed but there aren't any blood drops anywhere. His body might have been wrapped in something.

"Is he...?"

"Dead? No. I would have felt him."

"Are bureau techs on the way?"

"Yeah, Penelope called everyone. She's the only one who knows."

"Alright, write down everything you see. We'll profile from your notes when you get back."

"How's Dr. Barton?"

"It's a huge list of cases to go through with him."

"Okay, I've got this here. You have Emily with you. Just stay focused."

"Alright, you too."

"What's wrong?" Emily asks when Spencer hangs up with you.

"Nothing. Y/N's been called away on an emergency not related to the case, but it's fine."

That answer seems to satisfy Emily but not Dr. Barton.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm confident that the three of us can do this together. We know he's been killing Hispanic males as surrogates. Did you separate the case files?"

"Yeah."

"How many of the surgeries fit the criteria?"

"Eight-two."

"Let me ask you this. On how many of those dates did you operate on somebody else as well?" Emily wonders.

"Seventy-five."

"Did any of those patients die on the table?"

"Eleven."

"That's where we start. This whole thing is about choice. He's forcing you to play God with your son because the last time you had a choice, your decision devastated him."

"I'm a doctor. I save people."

"It doesn't matter to him," Emily says. "All that matters to him is that you had an alternative and you didn't take it. Now, how many of those surgeries involve patients under twenty?"

"Six. I get a lot of gunshot wounds, mostly gang-related."

"Has a gang or family member ever threatened you?"

"No. At first, when you lose someone it's mostly confusion and devastation. The anger comes later."

Emily and Spencer go through the case files that fit the criteria and come up with six dates that could have been the trigger for the unsub.

"Alright, we have six dates where you operated on a Hispanic male on the same night a patient under twenty died. What we're gonna do is read the names and dates off to you, and you tell me anything you can remember, okay?"

"Okay," Dr. Barton sighs.

"Let's start with January 22nd. I have Tyler Hayes with multiple gunshot wounds. The next day, Brian Douglas was a hit-and-run victim with a lacerated aorta."

"No, not that one."

"March 15th, Devon Marks who was a heroin overdose, and Angela Harris who is another car accident victim in a single vehicle, bleeding into her brain."

"No, this is no use. I would remember if I was threatened."

"Did any of them ask you about your family?" Dr. Barton looks at the clock that is ticking down. "We have time."

"Okay," he sighs.

He tries not to think about his son and the danger he's in as he recalls the patients he's dealt with. The entire school day has gone by without a hitch but there are still a few hours before school ends. Derek, Rossi, and JJ have been very diligent in making sure Jeffrey and the other students are safe from the unsub.

"I talked to Detective Walker," JJ says, "The final bell is at 3:10. He's gonna have a SWAT unit in place at exactly 3:00 to escort kids out. We'll need you to gather the students at 2:45."

"This could all be happening now," the principal argues.

"If the unsub sees us evacuate early, we feel certain he'll kill another random citizen, and this also buys us a day to try and discover his identity. So, we'll have school buses for evacuation, and teachers can brief parents who are here to pick up their kids."

"The key is to keep Jeffrey isolated and avoid panic with the other students. If we can do that, everybody gets out of here safe," Rossi explains.

"Have you cross-checked all the records of employees in the building against Dr. Barton?"

"Garcia's on it."

Derek calls Penelope who answers eagerly.

"Y/N?"

"No. Sorry, baby girl, just little old me. You're out of luck."

"Right. Sorry."

"Did you finish the background check on everyone in the building?"

"Yeah. There's no red flags, no felonies, and no connection to Barton."

"That's god. Alright, I gotta go. There's about to be a bell."

"Alright. Be safe," she sighs.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

"Yeah, I hear you. Let's just get this kid home safe and we can all sleep."

"Right."

As soon as Penelope hung up with Derek, she called multiple hospitals in Virginia in hopes Hotch was in one of them. No one has seen or heard of a man named Aaron Hotchner, though one of the hospitals did have someone named Derek Morgan show up recently. With this news, she immediately calls you.

The FBI techs and police did come quickly while you stayed off to the side and replay what happened over and over again. You're not sure how Foyet got into Hotch's apartment but he waited for him and threatened him with a gun only to shoot the wall. They both got into it and knocked some shit over only for Foyet to stab Hotch multiple times. Every time you replay the scene, it leads to more questions than answers.

How did he get in? Why didn't he kill Hotch? Why stab him and take him to a hospital? Your phone rings and you pick it up when you see it's Penelope calling.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I called hospitals to see if Hotch had gotten himself admitted to an emergency room. He's not listed as a patient but someone dropped a John Doe off at St. Sebastian Hospital, and that someone's name was FBI Agent Derek Morgan."

"Foyet took Derek's credentials."

"Why would he drop him off at the ER?"

"I don't know. I'm headed over there right now. I'll call with an update as soon as I get one."

You quickly send a text to Spencer to let him know what's going on so he doesn't freak out about the state of his boss.

Hotch is in St. Sebastian Hospital. I'm headed over there right now. I'll call when I have an update.

Spencer reads the message as soon as it comes in. He knows Hotch is in good hands if you're the one looking after him.

"Are you sure she's okay?" Emily asks when she notices his worried look.

"Yeah, she's fine. She's just giving me some updates."

"I don't understand. These surgeries are all hours apart. I didn't have to choose between patients. If he's punishing me for my choices, none of these fit," Dr. Barton groans in frustration.

"Alright, look at the note again and compare it against the wording on the charts. A lot of times an unsub will unconsciously mirror the wording of situations." Something suddenly comes to Dr. Barton which is evident in his facial features. "Do you remember something?"

"I don't know. It was right after New Year's. There was a car accident. One of the victims was Hispanic."

"New Year? I have it right here," Emily says. "On January 3rd, there was a two-car collision. You operated on someone named Hector Ledezma. That was your only surgery that night."

"I remember that case. Someone else came in, but I didn't operate on him. His name was Jason Meyers."

Spencer calls Penelope to gather more information on Jason.

"Garcia, I need you to find a patient in the system named Jason Meyers."

"He was admitted on January 3rd on life support. Oh, no. He was taken off the ventilator and declared legally dead three days ago."

"Who is his father?"

"Patrick Meyers, age forty-five."

"Get a photo into the school immediately. I think he's our unsub."

"Okay, it's on its way."

Spencer texts you an update on the current case since you're doing everything you can to take care of Hotch, which you appreciate. You can't do anything about Dr. Barton and his son, but you can find Hotch and figure out what's going to happen to him. As soon as you checked into the hospital, one of the doctors met with you and took you to the room Hotch was in. The second you see him, tears form in your eyes.

"He was stabbed nine times, but no major arteries were hit. It's a miracle he's alive."

"When will he wake up?"

"The anesthesia should wear off within the hour, but he's bound to be out of it."

"May I stay here?"

"Of course."

"Thank you."

The doctor checks a few things before giving you some privacy. You pull up a chair next to his bed and stare at his unconscious body.

"You better not die," you say to him. "This entire BAU is my family and that includes you. Do you hear me, Aaron? Don't die."

You hate lying to your team and hope they're doing okay without you. Hotch's medical chart is hanging off the edge of his bed. Your curiosity makes you read over it as if you're going to understand what most of it means. You're very smart but you're not medically smart. However, the initial L.C. in the top right-hand corner grabs your attention. It's the same initial the unsub left on the note for Dr. Barton. You grab the chart and find the doctor at the nurse's station.

"Excuse me, what does L.C. stand for?"

"Living Children."

"Thank you." You walk back into Hotch's room and call Spencer. "I know what L.C. stands for. Living Children."

"Are you sure?"

"Hotch has it on his medical chart. It's administrative. It's when they're afraid a patient's gonna go on life support and they don't have a DNR order."

"What if the unsub was trying to tell Dr. Barton that he is actually the target and that he's gonna leave his son without a father?" The sound of a door opening catches Spencer's attention. "Barton!"

"What's going on?" There is commotion coming from his end and you hear something that chills you to the bone. A gunshot. "Spencer?" No answer. "Spencer, answer me. Please." Still, no answer and you get tears. "Spencer? I can't lose two people I love. Please answer me." Instead of trying to get him to answer, you hang up and call 911 to report the gunshot. "This is Special Agent Y/N from the FBI. I need police and an ambulance to 120 Kensington Road, Mclean, Virginia. Shots were fired and a federal agent is possibly down."

Spencer lays in front of Dr. Barton with a gunshot wound in his knee from the unsub. The unsub was targeting Dr. Barton but got Spencer instead.

"Are you hit?"

"No."

"Get my gun. Get my gun!" Spencer urges.

Dr. Barton scrambles for the gun before the unsub can fire off another shot. Spencer grabs his gun and points it at the unsub.

"Get away from him!"

"Whatever you do, stay down," Spencer says to Dr. Barton before facing the unsub. "Drop the gun!"

"Don't protect him. He killed my son!" Patrick says emotionally.

"He did not kill your son. Your son was killed in a car accident."

"Stand up!" he yells at your boyfriend.

"I'm gonna ask you again, please drop the gun. I do not want to shoot you."

"Stand up, you coward!"

"Mr. Meyers, listen to me. Dr. Barton did not kill your son. Your son was killed by a car, and this is not what he would want. Okay? So, drop the gun. Please."

His words seem to get through to Patrick because he lowers the gun. Tears are streaming out of his eyes, he looks like he's in so much pain, and he doesn't know who or what to trust. Sirens can be heard from down the street no doubt from the call you made to 911. The unsub raises his gun toward Spencer and Dr. Barton.

"Don't do it."

"I'm sorry."

Before Patrick can fire, Spencer shoots him in a spot that's not fatal. Dr. Barton turns to Spencer to help him but the young doctor waves him off.

"I'm fine. Go to him. Kick his gun away. Make sure his gun is not near him."

Dr. Barton kicks the gun away before assessing the wound on Patrick.

"No, don't touch me. Oh, I want to die. Oh, don't touch me," Patrick weeps.

"I need to stop the bleeding."

"Let me die."

"The medics are almost here. Can you keep him stabilized?" Spencer asks.

"Yes, I think so." Seconds later, the ambulance and police arrive. "Hold on, they're right here. Help is coming, alright?" They get out of their car and rush over with equipment. "We need a backboard and a C-collar. Put pressure on this right here. Call ahead to the ER and tell them they got a GSW to the thoracic cavity, and have him redlined to the OR stat."

"You got it."

"Don't touch me," Patrick cries.

Dr. Barton approaches Spencer and inspects the wound on his knee.

"It looks like it went clean through."

"You might have just saved his life."

"Keep pressure on this, okay?"

The team arrives with Jeffrey, and Spencer nods to the doctor's son.

"I'm good, I'm fine. Go to your son."

Jeffrey and his son embrace in a tight hug while the team joins Spencer's side with worry on their faces.

"Are you okay?" JJ asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"We'll get you to a hospital."

"No, you need to call Y/N. She's at the hospital with Hotch. He's been stabbed by Foyet."

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hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds · 1 year

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Aaron Hotchner x Daughter reader

Another Hotch one because I miss him it's been 4 seasons without him, I miss him so much so I have to write this.

Summary: Y/N, Haley and Jack are found by Foyet, Y/N knows instantly who he is because she made her Dad tell her all about him before they went into witness protection.

Y/N is 12

Angst alot of angst in this one

Dead of a person

Emotions lots of Emotions

Third person pov...

Haley gets a call on he phone, she is shocked when an employee of the U.S. Marshal service, claims that her safety has been compromised and her ex-husband and Sam were both dead.

She ends the call telling him wher ether were and quickly ends the call, 12 year old Y/N walks over to her Mum. "What's wrong Mum?" She asks her, Haley quickly wipes her tears and looks down at her daughter.

"Don't worry honey, Sam has got into some trouble and don't worry another Marshall is coming" she reassures her suspicious daughter who is alot like her Ex-Husband. Y/N raises an eyebrow "What about Dad, is he okay?" She asks knowing something else happened during the call, Haley smiles sadly at her daughter.

"It is about your Dad Honey, he died trying to find Foyet" she said quietly not wanting Jack to hear. Y/N felt her heart drop, her mouth hung open as she took in what her mum siad. "Dad. Isn't. Dead" she whispers to herself as she tried to not cry.

Haley pulls her daughter in for a hug she had always been a Daddy's girl always wanted to be like her dad. When she pulled away Y/N sat down next tto Jack nad continued playing with him.

Soon the door goes and Haley goes to answer, she let's the Marshall in and they walk to the living room, where Y/N and Jack are playing.

The minute another marshal other than U.S. Marshal Sam Kassmeyer came through the door when her Mum opened the door Y/N was on high alert, she instantly recognises the man who came in pretending to be a Marshall.

'George Foyet' she thinks her body freezing, as she watches him out of the corner of her eye, he then speaks to her mum before sitting opposite her and Jack and starts playing. Y/N quickly excuses herself and stand by her Mum, she then turns her head to look like she was looking put the window before whispering.

"Mum" she whispers getting the attention of Haley, the woman goes to move but Y/N stops her. "Don't stand like that it will seem less suspicious" she whispers making her mum nod and stop moving, the girl takes a deep breath. "You know what dad said about Foyet?" Asks the 12 year old.

She sees her Mum nod out of the corner of her eyes. "The man currently in the room is him, I recognise him from the pictures Dad showed me before we went into witness protection" she whispers, as she says who he is Haley freezes her son is sitting opposite a Serial Killer who tried to killer her Ex-Husband.

"Are you sure Y/N" she whispers, Y/N squares her shoulders "Yes mum" she said seriously, Haley sucks in a breath before going over to Jack and Foyet and sitting next to her son.

"I'm going to my room" said Y/N before leaving quickly to her room, the 12 year old was prepared for something like this to happen to them, alot like her dad she is ready for the worst and will protect her family if she needs too.

Thankfully she got to go to the firing range alot at Quantico because her Dad git her in because he was unit chef, thanks to her Dad she learnt how to shoot and hold a gun.

The 12 year old rummage around her room, she then finds a small gun she hid in her desk draw she knew it would come in handy it's one of her Dad spares she took before they left.

Y/N then grabbed a phone that her dad gave her, it was for emergencies only ans thus was pretty much an emergency, the 12 year old quickly hides in the wardrobe in her room closing it quietly and pushing and pulling things so she was covered.

The girl quickly turned it on and clicked a number the only number on it and it was her Dads, it rang a couple times before he answered. "Hotchner" Y/N let a cry of relief through her mouth she knew he wasn't Dead.

"Who is thus?" He asks Y/N realises she didn't answer "Daddy it's me" she whispers into the phone, her Dad freezes for a minute before answering "Y/N is that you?" He asks, his voice full of astonishment.

Y/N let's a wet laugh from her mouth a tears start running down her face "Yes daddy it's me, I knew you weren't dead" she sobbed, Hotch was confused why would she think he was dead.

" Y/N why would you think I was dead?" He asks her, "because Foyet said so, I knew I shouldn't believe him" she rambled, Hotchs eyes widened when he hear dher say Foyet.

"Wait Y/N you said Foyet, it Foyet in the house?" He asks worry in his voice, Y/N then remembered why she called her Dad. "Yes he is Daddy you need to save us, get Penelope to track my phone I will keep it on" said the girl suddenly acting like her Agent Dad.

"Okay I'll get her to trace your phone,

Y/N Honey arw your Mum and brother okay?" He asks her, Y/N lifts her head up and listens she didn't hear any gun shots. "I think so, I told mum who he was, I can protect Jack don't worry Daddy" said Y/N she had always been protective over Jack.

Hitch was confused how will she manage that. "No Y/N listen to me Foyet is a very dangerous man you cant fight him" he said hoping his daughter won't do anything dangerous. Y/N wipes her twes away before laugh slightly.

"Actually Daddy you know how you hide lots of Guns around the house for protection" she starts off, Hotch looks at his phone in shock before laughing, she really is his daughter ready for anything

"That's why I was missing one" he said earning a giggle from his Daughter.

"Okay Y/N becareful only use it unless you have to" he told her, Y/N looks at the gun tucked in her trousers. "I will Daddy, please get here soon" she said before the call ends, sighing softly Y/N opens her wardrobe and crawls out she then goes to the living room.

When she does she sees Foyet holding her Mum, she looked to scared Haleys eyes widened when she saw her Daughter then motioned towards Jack. Y/N nods and pulls Jack up and towards her, away from Foyet.

"Mum, what's happening?" She asks her Mum glaring at Foyet, During a lengthy phone conversation with Hotch, Haley is informed that Foyet is in fact The Reaper rather than a U.S. Marshal. Y/N then sees the phone in her hand and hears her Dad instruct Jack to help him "work the case" and Jack runs off to an unknown location inside the house.

Y/N stays with her Mum. "Y/N leave please I can't let you see this" Says Haley, Y/N looks between her and Foyet before shaking her head firmly. "I'm not leaving you Mum" she promised before her mum and Dad said "I love you" to each other.

Foyet smirks as he keeps his eyes on the younger Hotchner. As he raises his gun Y/N keeps her eyes on her Mum. "I love you" she months as tears streamed down Haleys face. Then gunshot ring out.

Y/N flinches at the sound she looks around as her mum falls to the floor, Y/N is angry she glares at foyet as he laughs at the crying child. Y/N crawls over reassures finds her Mums hand.

She can feel it going cold, she sees red, suddenly she found the strength in her alelgs to stand, the 12 year old pulls out her Dad guns foyet it shocked obviously not expecting a child to have a gun.

"You first took My Dad, Then the safety if my home, Stalking my brother,

then almost killing my dad now you killed my Mum. I WONT LET YOU LIVE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" She screamed and pressed the trigger 5 rounds shoot out and hit Foyet in the chest, one successfully hit his arm, hid winces in pain, He falls to the floor.

Y/N continues glaring she's not done yet, as the monster is on the floor she grabs the small table from the living room and breaks it over his head, some how he is still awake, Foyet stands up. "I've been Killing for a fight little Hotchner" he grinned before launching at Y/N the little girl dodges him quickly.

She then shoots 2 more rounds but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. She then sees something sticking out udnerneath his shirt. It's kevlar "I see you were planning this to happen" Says Y/N throwing a punch with was dodged she then kicked dhidnleg making the man fall.

"I was little Hotchner but I was hoping for you dear Father instead but this works fine" he smirks and turns to the open door and runs out. "No you dont" yelld the young girl she had to get him away from Jack.

Foyet stands at the top of the stairs facing Y/N, the girl looks at the stairs and has a pain she sprints at the man and pushes herself into his stomach making him loose balance, then grabbed Y/N as he went Y/N screams as she is pulled down stairs the young girl lands at the bottom of the stairs first let of stairs while Foyet is next to her.

She feels horrible pain from her head suddenly someone is holding her down, she screams when Foyet holds her down and punches her face, Y/N strugs to get her legs out from under her as the Man continues to punch her.

She kicks at hus legs and tries to elbow him, Foyet then holds his hand over rhee mouth bad idea, the 12 year old bites down hard enough to draw blood she spits it out, Foyet is shocked woth gives her enough time to shove him off her, Y/N jumps down the remaining stairs ans too the door.

Before she can grab the handle she is pulled back and a gun is held to her head making her freeze, then to her luck it her Dad and his team. "Daddy!" She yelled to him, Hotch is shocked when he sees hiw beat up his daughter is, but then looks at Foyet and sees Blood running from his hand, a gun shot to his arm and a could bruises forming.

He was proud of how much of a fight his daughter put up, all the training sessions worked out. The team and Hotch surround Foyet and all the exits there is noway he is able to escape. "Don't try anything Aaron or this one will end up like her Mother" laughed Foyet.

This made Hotch angry so he did kill Haley, as her capture is distracted she knocked the gun out if his hand and maneuvers his weight ans throws the taller man over her shoudler surprising everyone but Hotch, she had used thay move on him many times before.

Y/n spits at him "you Bastard don't talk about Mum like that" she yeld holding her gun out at him, the monster stared at her as if wanting her to do it.

"Go on littler Hotchner scared, shoot me, shoot me!" He yelled to her Y/N hands shake her finger moves to the trigger but she doesn't do it. "Unlike you I don't kill" she said before collapsing.

Before she hits the floor Hotch rushes to his daughter. He holds her in his arms like a baby as his terrified daughter cries into his chest. "I'm sorry Daddy, so Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she mumbles

Hotch soothes her and runs a hand up and down her back. "What are you sorry for Y/N/N" he asks her already knowing why she was apologising. "I'm sorry he killed Mum, if I had pulled my gun out before she would be alive" sobs the little girl as she falls into a sleep.

Hotch feels tears fall down his cheeks as he kisses his daughters forehead. "No its not your fault, you couldn't of done anything for her" he whispers before setting his daughter down and telling JJ and Emily to look after her.

The man then goes of to find his Wife and Son leaving his distressed daughter in the hands of his team.

The end!

I hope you liked this one its a lot longer alot longer, ive been waiting to do one like this for Hotch, also sorry for the grammar and Spelling mistakes!

Request are open!

Word count: 2250

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codename-mom · 5 months

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A noticeable absence... or maybe not

Summary: Post-S05E01. Hotch has been stabbed by Foyet and is now back to work. But it seems that the team has something to say to him.

Characters: BAU team

Contents: this text is part of a self-challenge on the theme "It's cute but...". So, it's supposed to be funny and/or cute with a slice of bitterswitness. Hope you'll enjoy it!

TW: mention of pain, wounds and anxiety.

PS : English is not my mother language so they are necessarily mistakes. Sorry about that.

___

Hotch mechanically raised his hand to his side as a flash of pain crossed his chest. The unpleasant sensation quickly dissipated and he was able to breathe normally again. Picking up his mouse again to reach the shortcut he was interested in, his gaze was drawn to a movement at the edge of his field of vision. Dave had stepped into his office and knocked on the open door.

“Aaron?”

“I'm listening,” he affirmed, taking his eyes off the screen and settling back into his seat.

A new twinge sheared through his abdomen, but he suppressed a grimace. His long-time sidekick, who wore an indecipherable expression, took a few steps into the room before declaring:

“Kids have something to tell you.”

His supervisor felt like reminding him that he was not related in any way to the agents working under him, but the ex-retiree was far too amused by the appellation to refrain from using it, even though he'd get the boot every time.

“About what?” he questioned.

“They’re in the meeting room.”

And he said nothing more to him, turning around and leaving the premises under the puzzled gaze of the tenant. Intrigued, the BAU director locked his computer and rose from his chair, taking care not to make any false movements. Indeed, although his wounds were apparently healed – but still visible – every stretch of skin or muscle on his torso produced painful spikes that forced him to freeze for a moment. He had been assured that he would regain full mobility as soon as the epidermal and muscular tissue had regained its elasticity, but this was clearly not yet the case. Fortunately, he could still breathe and walk without difficulty, and so joined his colleagues without having to hide his feelings. The whole team was waiting for him, and they looked more worried than ever. What was going on?

“Dave told me that you’ve got something to say.”

“Yes, er... Prentiss ventured, before looking to her peers for support. We… we would like to apologize.”

He widened his eyes in surprise. He didn't see why his agents would need to be forgiven. From his point of view, they had done nothing wrong.

“Apologize? For what?”

“For betraying your trust,” replied Penelope, her voice strangled.

“For not being up to scratch,” declared Spencer, lowering his nose.

“For showing ourselves unworthy of you,” added JJ, embarrassed.

The giant heard the words of his employees but was unable to relate them to a known situation.

“Do you understand anything?” he asked to Rossi, sitting quietly in the nearest chair.

“I know what they’re talking about, if that’s your question, and they know what I think about all this, but ask yourself.”

So he turned back to the agents.

“What are you talking about?”

“The fact that none of us were worried about you, even though you're the first to sound the red alert when one of us doesn't respond,” said Garcia, her eyes shining.

“True, retorted the liaison officer. We've all tried to call you at one time or another, we've left you messages, but none of us thought that maybe something went wrong.”

“Even I, when I rang your doorbell, only expected to find you half-asleep," revealed Emily, looking flustered.

“Which would have made sense given the very short night we all had, Reid pointed out in a flash. But the fact that you were the only one absent should have tipped us off.”

“That's it," punctuated the unit's analyst.

Aaron took in this flood of information and digested it for a long minute, leaving a heavy silence hanging over the assembly. Gradually, he put the pieces back in the right order and discovered what has taken place far from his field of perception. At the same time, however, he noticed that the people in front of him – who were obviously particularly embarrassed by the situation – were omitting an important detail in the chronology of events.

“… Do you realize that I was unconscious all this time?”

“That's exactly what I told them,” Dave sighed.

“But you were a complete stranger for over twelve hours!” burst out the luscious blonde, apparently outraged by her own attitude during that day.

“Because Foyet had taken my papers and, I repeat, I was unconscious, he reminded them, not understanding what the problem was. I wasn’t aware of anything and, when I opened my eyes, Prentiss was there.”

“But if Foyet hadn't taken you to hospital…”

“I would have died, he concluded abruptly, but not because of you. I was dropped off in San Sebastian at 4 a.m. You were probably all asleep.”

After an emotionally taxing case not far from the Canadian border, the team had returned to Virginia in the dead of night, and everyone had gone home to collapse in bed. Although the adrenalin must still have been pumping through their veins on their return, physical and mental fatigue must have quickly taken over, sending them into the arms of Morpheus without even giving them a chance to cogitate. He hadn't been so lucky, for a surprise guest had emerged from the half-light of his apartment to make him pay for his lack of consideration. A guest who had been kind enough – and well-advised – to dump him on the hospital sidewalk once he'd done what he'd set out to do.

“But...” hiccupped the ambassador's daughter, ready to argue vehemently.

“Listen, he interrupted her immediately, I understand that you've been affected by what's happened, but you're not responsible and I don't blame you for pursuing the investigation you had to manage. On a contrary.”

As fate would have it, the BAU was summoned to help local authorities a few hours later to track down a man threatening the lives of a doctor and his son. Barely recovered from their emotions and their minds still clouded by lack of sleep, the agents set about their task without reluctance, converting the crumbs of energy they had left to complete the job as soon as possible. And they had succeeded with flying colors, preserving the existence of their two intended targets, while juggling with the sudden disappearance of their hierarchical superior. That they acted as if everything was fine in the face of the police and the people concerned was perfectly normal from his point of view.

“But you'd never let a situation like this occur,” Penelope moaned, frowning.

“And it comforts me to see that you're not as stressed as I am about each other's health.”

“How's that supposed to be a good thing?” Morgan raised an eyebrow, mute until then.

“Because you really think it would be a good thing to be like me? He replied, perplexed. I'm on your back so much that you call me "Mom".”

He'd probably never admit it, but every time one of his team members left his field of vision during an investigation, his blood pressure soared and only subsided when the agent reappeared in front of him, conscious and in one piece. And he sincerely hoped he was the only one living in this permanent state of fear.

“Are you sure you don't have a grudge against us?” inquired Garcia, still pained.

“No, not at all. To be honest, until you mentioned it today, I hadn't even thought about it.”

He had enough of his own pain and the consequences of this attack to deal with to have noticed that the Earth had continued to rotate during his absence. The team, however, looked at him with a puppy dog expression – with the exception of Dave, who observed the scene with a certain detachment – and Aaron had to offer a few more reassuring words.

“Everything is fine. I was taken care of by the hospital service, you were there when I woke up and... I'm standing here with you today. So take a breath and smile.”

Frozen, pathetic smiles stretched the agents' lips.

“Forget it.”

Penelope timidly raised a trembling hand, ready to make a request. He guessed right away what she had in mind.

“No, Garcia, no hug. I've been stabbed a dozen times, the last thing I need is to be compressed by all of you.”

“A restaurant, then?” Suggested Emily in return.

He was going to refuse – hunger being the last emotion he felt at the moment and his desire for worldliness being lower than ever – but the hopeful expressions of the people standing in front of him hindered his action. He was in pain and down in the dumps, but he didn't have the mental strength to push them away completely.

“… Okay. Let’s go for a restaurant.”

The whole gang was immediately smiling again. They then scattered happily back to their respective offices, while Rossi remained in the room with him.

“You could have told them it didn't matter, scolded the unit manager. That I knew very well it... it didn't mean they didn't care about me.”

“I tried, Aaron. But you know them, when they have an idea in mind, they don't have it anywhere else.”

“Unfortunately,” he sighed.

“Look on the bright side, you've won a restaurant," declared his eldest, patting him on the shoulder.

The giant nodded silently and shuffled off to his den, hoping he wouldn't have to deal with any more twists and turns this day. This single confrontation seemed to have drained all his strengths.

___

Short one before the next post who will be an entry for the current CM fanfic challenge. :D

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masterwords · 8 months

Text

between you and me

Summary: Hotch & Morgan go out into the wilderness for a weekend survival competition. They're wet, muddy and happy. That's all. There isn't a plot here.

Pairing: Hotch/Morgan

Words: 5.3k

Warnings: a lot of swearing, dude talk, food, chronic pain (hotch), foyet & stabbing mentions

AO3: between you and me

Notes: I had this image of them being skilled and competent and really adorable in the woods, and this is what came of it. A lot harder to write than you would think - it's so much just snappy dialogue and vibes. Don't expect poetry. Also, it should go without saying but: I made this up. This is not a real thing, I just wanted to put them in the woods with low-stakes and the ability to have some fun together doing the insane type adrenaline junkie shit I know those fools would enjoy. So, I made up an incredibly silly scenario and went all in.

***

“Both of you?” Rossi asked with a smirk. Looks like a cat who just got a mouthful of canary. “How long ago did you put in?”

“They’ve been passing me up for five years, Rossi.” Morgan lamented his misery convincingly while Hotch just smiled in that gentle, confident but subdued way he had that said I win. Everything was a competition with them.

“I’m at eight. They claimed it was too hard to justify putting a Unit Chief out of commission for three days, what if I had to be recalled and there was no service? And then when they did finally select me…”

“Foyet. I remember.” Rossi almost hated using the man’s name, like it might bring him back from the dead. He was hesitant and let his eyes linger on Hotch for a moment longer than necessary, gauging his reaction. It had been two years but he wasn’t sure time really mattered when trying to heal something like that. To his credit, Hotch gave no real indication that it made any difference. He simply nodded somberly and agreed – yes, he’d been chosen, and then Foyet met him in his apartment and bled him out, stopped his heart, rendered him incapable of participating. And ever since then, they’d pulled the Unit Chief speech when he asked why he wasn’t selected but he knew – they were afraid of his physical status after the stabbing. He must finally have worn them down, or proven that he was physically capable. Or maybe they were just tired of him throwing his name in the bucket and had a pool going to see how far he could make it before he collapsed. He might be wondering that himself.

“And you still want to do it? Go spend three days in the woods miserable with no roof over your head, no bed to sleep in, no good food or hot running water?”

“Bold talk comin’ from a Marine…”

“Ever heard of the draft, smart ass?”

“Fair enough. But we’re doing it and yes, we want to do it.” Derek had no idea if Rossi was being honest about the draft situation, he’d known he was a vet but he realized he didn’t know that much about Rossi’s service. Didn’t seem like the time to ask, anyway.

“Will you be together or are they separating you?”

“No idea. We’ll find out at the debrief tonight, they’re serving dinner and giving us our assignments. I’m assuming we’ll be separate, can’t imagine why they’d keep us together. It’s gotta be like a lottery situation. God I hope I don’t get paired up with some DEA asshat.”

“It’s only branches of the FBI this round,” Hotch pointed out, leaving through the paperwork he’d been given. It was vague about most details, just dates and times and a whole lot of TBA. It made his skin prickle. “Awfully secretive.” That he muttered more to himself, but Derek heard and it got his wheels turning.

“Well, damn. And here I thought you boys might be getting a date night out of this.”

That made Hotch and Morgan both laugh. They did like things a little off the beaten path when it came to their personal lives, but that’s what you get when you put two adrenaline junkies together in close quarters – what they considered dates weren’t exactly things other couples might. They preferred a day out on their bikes in the mountain air to a movie night, and an evening at the swimming pool taking laps and sucking chlorine was better than a stuffy and expensive candlelit dinner. So to say that a weekend spent in the woods utilizing survival training skills instead of lounging around the house sounded like a date wasn’t far off base. Of course, in Rossi’s very wise opinion, he thought they could both better use their time by simply taking a nap.

As it turned out, they were partnered up. It was a department challenge, two from counter-terrorism, two from organized crime, two from BAU, two from the fugitive task force, two from political corruption and two from the cyber crimes unit. Hotch looked around at the people he knew and tried to imagine them in the woods, tried to imagine them with a better partner than his. “We’ve got this,” he whispered to Derek who simply nodded his approval. It was a competition, and the two of them were not in the habit of losing, even to people who were in far better shape than them. Derek had been battling a chest cold the week prior, though he seemed to be mostly in the clear, and Hotch had overdone it playing soccer with Jack and been dealing with some latent knee pain for the last few days. The medications they’d put him on after the stabbing struck him with only mild side effects most of the time, but the most cumbersome was the intermittent bouts of joint pain. It came and went, usually after he’d overdone it and he was very good at overdoing it. Overdoing it was kind of his specialty.

One day of training with Commander Stevens, a Navy SEAL who had the brilliant idea to put the FBI through the ringer. Just for fun, or so he implied. “Torture the pencil pushers,” was what Hotch overheard him whispering with some fellow officers. Hotch wasn’t motivated by needing to prove himself to anyone but he was certain some of these people at the tables eating pinwheel sandwiches from Costco were allowing their feathers to be ruffled by the insinuation that they weren’t tough enough. That alone would give him a competitive edge – he didn’t need to prove himself to anyone.

They had reported to Quantico at 6am for the first of it, bright eyed and coffee in hand. Derek’s cold was all but gone and Hotch felt good. Optimistic. They spent the morning in a classroom listening to the Commander lecture about survival in the Appalachians, people who walk the trail, how they get lost and how to avoid it. Survival for beginners is what Derek said later, and he prided himself on not being a beginner. The two of them had spent some time out in the Smokey Mountains, nothing close to the intensity of the next few days but they weren’t strangers to the area. After lunch they spent the afternoon brushing up on skills training, getting their equipment, learning the rules of the game.

“This remind you of those movies where bored rich guys are hunting dudes in the woods?” Derek asked as he tossed his 75lb backpack into their SUV and waited while Hotch did the same. Three days and two nights in the woods walking for upwards of thirty miles when all was said and done with a backpack that weighed as much as Jack strapped to each of their backs, that realization was the first time Hotch felt a little pang of anxiety. He could do it but he was going to pay for it.

“You and Jessica watch too much television.”

“No seriously. This is how they all start, they’re like oh you guys are the best of the best and you won this fantastic retreat or vacation or really high honor of some kind...then bam. You’re being hunted by rich dudes with fuckin’ laser guns you didn’t even know existed yet, some kind of military grade stuff you only see in movies starring Schwarzenegger.”

“Way too much television…”

Derek ran his idea by Jessica while they shared their last family dinner for a few days and she agreed wholeheartedly. Didn’t even miss a beat. “You guys be careful,” she said, clicking her tongue against her teeth. Jack looked on with wide eyes, taking in everything they said but not picking up on the sarcasm lacing every word.

“Is it dangerous?” he asked, trying to make some sense of it in the way young kids do. He still had trouble differentiating fact from fiction, cartoons from reality, and Derek and Jessica were not helping in the slightest. Jessica shot Hotch a look that said to tread lightly. He wasn’t sure if that meant lie through his teeth or be honest. Both felt wrong, and this question was her fault anyway...why should he have to be the one to answer for it? Didn’t seem quite fair.

“It can be, buddy. But I’ll be okay. I’ll be with Derek, and there are fail safes in place if we get into trouble. It’s supposed to be for fun. A learning experience and a game.”

“A game!” That seemed to please him.

“The most dangerous game…” Derek whispered and Hotch elbowed him a little too hard in the ribs.

“Exactly, Jack. A fun game. Kind of like camping and a race...capture the flag for grown ups.”

“Can we go camping soon?” Crisis averted. Jack was no longer concerned about his dads being hunted in the woods. Whatever that meant. He still wasn’t sure.

“Sure buddy.” An easy concession.

Even Hotch couldn’t help feeling a little trepidation when they were dropped into the woods by helicopter. That did feel a little too on the nose, a little too much like one of the movies Derek couldn’t stop talking about. It was meant to disorient them, and it succeeded. “Just like in SWAT,” Derek said as he checked Hotch’s pack and Hotch did the same for him. “You ready?”

“Born ready.” A bit of a stretch, they both knew. But the minute he was standing with this face turned into the wind, that adrenaline rush kicked in and he sucked in a breath of fresh air and helicopter gasoline and maybe he felt like it wasn’t such a stretch after all.

Derek descended the ladder first with Hotch right behind him. The sound of the chopper hurt Hotch’s ears until it disappeared over the treeline and they were left alone with the sounds of the woods. Without a word they each began surveying their surroundings – Hotch consulted his map while Derek walked around and got a lay of the land, checked out the views, climbed up a tree for a better view. In the end, they both decided on the same route. No argument, no issue. Off to a surprisingly easy start.

Jessica had guessed they’d be fighting over which route to take immediately and they couldn’t wait to tell her how wrong she was.

They walked and walked and walked. The air was heavy, the humidity oppressive. Hotch could feel sweat pooling at the base of his spine. Derek seemed to be handling it worse than he was – he’d already taken his long sleeves off. Hotch wouldn’t even think of it for a while yet. He’d rather have the protection from bugs. He can handle sweat.

They didn’t talk while they walked, didn’t want to waste precious energy on the first day – it’s all climbing elevation, steep hills that seem to go on and on forever but when they stopped for a moment to have a water break and a bite of food, they settled into quiet and pleasant conversation about things they saw, smelled, heard. Everything seemed to flow together seamlessly, the way Hotch would take the lead in places and Derek would slip by and take the lead in others. Instinctively knowing when one or the other needed a chance to suck wind in the back, slow down and smell the roses so to speak.

They managed almost ten miles before they decided to set up camp for the night. Everyone else had planned to stop around the 8th mile, before the big elevation change. It had sounded nice, too, when they stood at the base of the mound that rose before them, but they were both feeling up to a few extra miles and the weather held while they traveled. They watched a storm rolling in over the tree line and knew they’d rather be further ahead when it finally hit, just in case it took them longer to get going the next day. Having higher ground sounded appealing for a rain storm.

Quietly they set up their little camp, stringing a tarp between trees, getting their fire going, making sure they had what they needed before raising the rest of their packs up into the trees above, wrapped securely in tarp. They had each brought their own sleeping bag and wool blankets, just in case they were caught sleeping in a camp with others, but out here on their own they decided to pool their resources and get cozy.

It was a date night, after all. They’d slipped just enough off the path that they didn’t imagine anyone would wander by them if they slept a little later. It was safe.

The storm hit while they boiled their water to heat up their MRE packets. Out of their selections, Hotch decided they should have the biscuits and gravy with a side of chorizo breakfast tacos. Derek was appalled by his selections but when he looked at the other options he realized they didn’t sound any better. The first pang of homesick hit him then, as he crumbled freeze dried biscuits into a mylar bag and reconstituted their meal. He thought about sitting around the table with Jessica and Jack, with his family, and digging into a delicious warm meal that hadn’t been preserved before he was born. They had a good time describing the flavors of the meal, picking it apart like they were eating at a michelin star restaurant instead of out of mylar bags in the woods. Hotch decided that the biscuits and gravy weren’t half bad for space bag food, but the tacos were appalling. Derek could barely choke down either of them and refused to call them food.

It was soft at first, just the pitter-patter of fat rain drops falling through trees and plopping onto their tarp but soon it began pounding and Derek pushed in closer to Hotch as the ground absorbed the water and crept closer to them. “This is gonna suck,” he said, but he barely meant it. He was leaning against Hotch eating a cookie that was probably made when Rossi was in the Marines and mixing up a cup of powdery lemonade chock full of salty crumbly bits. “This would be better with vodka,” he said, setting the small paper cup to his lips. Hotch smiled and agreed in his sleepy way. He was halfway to lights out already.

The second day was all rain. They woke up wet and packed up their wet camp and set out in wet clothes. Derek threw his ballcap on and Hotch cinched up the hood of his rain jacket until hardly more than his nose protruded from the opening, and that was how they set out very glad they didn’t have to climb that first hill in the mud. The rest of the group was going to have some trouble with their footing. By mid-morning they both had the start of some serious blisters, Derek was freezing, and they were clinging to that small happiness that came with knowing they had given themselves a solid head start on the day. Not as far to go before they could set up camp, light a fire and try to get warm.

Hotch began limping by mid-day. Derek had just decided it was his turn to lead and slowed his pace to drop behind, let Hotch past, and that was when he first noticed. He wondered how long it had been going on behind him. He didn’t seem to care about trying to hide it.

Just a slight limp at first, becoming more and more pronounced as the silent miles wore on. Derek tried to talk him into a water break, a rest, anything. He couldn’t bear to watch it without trying to stop it.

“Derek, we’re three miles from today’s rendezvous and we’re hours ahead of schedule. We keep to the plan, we stop only we get there.”

“You’re limping.”

“And I’ll limp for three more miles.”

The way he said it so matter-of-fact grated on Derek’s nerves. It was the first time he could feel an argument bubbling up in his chest during the whole time they’d been out there. He swallowed it down and pleaded instead.

“Why don’t we just take a breather? You said it yourself, we’re hours ahead of schedule. A short water break, you can rest your leg and I can find my rain jacket.”

Hotch slowed his pace and turned to Derek, softening enough that he didn’t come across mean. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin this weekend. “Your rain jacket is tied around your waist, and if I stop now, I might not be able to get going again at this pace. I don’t want to lose momentum.”

“Come on, man. I was hoping this trip would be fun, not miserable.”

“I’m not miserable.”

“So you like limping through the woods?”

“Derek...if my ability to enjoy things was contingent on my body feeling good, I would lead a very different life than I do now. You know that my body has been different since Foyet’s attack and I think I’ve done a pretty good job of not letting it stop us from having fun. Part of that is knowing when I can push through and when I can’t. I can push through this. I can make it three miles. I believe I could make it at least five, if I’m being honest, but I’d rather not.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better…”

“It wasn’t meant to, it was just meant to let you know that I’m not stopping and I am having a good time. This is fun.”

“Yeah. Okay. What is it?”

“My knee.”

“The one you tweaked when we were out with Jack the other day?”

“The very same. Probably just the medication making an overuse issue worse. Please stop worrying and walk faster. Don’t let a guy with a bum knee out-hike you.”

They walked on, the banter predictably turning to light bickering, competitive shit talk, but always smiling. Derek figured it was easier to light up a small argument that would keep them both distracted for the last few miles than continue to try and get Hotch to stop. It was futile to try and get Hotch to do anything he didn’t want to do. That lesson had been a hard one to learn.

They came up on their check in point and were pleased to find that they were the third pair out of ten to pass through. Not bad, considering the limping slowing them down some, though Hotch had blamed it mostly on Derek. From there, all they had to do was find themselves a place to set up camp for the night and wait for everyone else to arrive. This was the only night where there were group activities in store, team building exercises that neither Hotch nor Morgan was thrilled about. They found a place a little off the beaten path, away from the crowd of people who wanted to be close to visit and talk about their experiences. They had no interest in making small talk. With the hope that those ominous clouds overhead would pass them by without dumping on them, they began to quickly assemble their camp. They were already cold and wet, their shoes were wet on the inside and Derek insisted that Hotch prop his leg up on the mound of his pack and put some ice on his knee instead of them hoisting the pack up the tree. They had two portable cold packs that wouldn’t do him much good, but there was a small creek nearby and Derek thought maybe later, if the weather held, they could go stand in it for a while. That would feel good on their aching legs and feet, sweet relief for both of them. For now, they ate some snacks and ended up falling asleep to the pitter-patter of tiny raindrops.

By evening, it was another full scale storm. No thunder and lightning, but soaking wet. No fires, which meant no hot food. Just huddling together under the blankets they had for warmth and eating the convenience food they’d stored – some nuts and dried fruits, granola, bottled water and beef jerky. Not enough to fill either of them up but they were glad for the storm and Derek hadn’t exactly been thrilled at the prospect of freeze dried beef stroganoff or chicken alfredo and peach cobbler that would just make him even more homesick for some real food. The weather had meant that the team building exercises were put on hold and they couldn’t complain about that, certainly.

Instead, they got a second date night, just like Dave had said. They tangled themselves together and shared the blankets for warmth, knowing that they had a definite advantage over anyone not involved in an explicitly forbidden (or at least frowned upon) workplace love affair. They had the kind of warmth that comes from being close, sharing body heat. Derek thought about Jerry and Mason from the fugitive team huddling like this and the thought brought him nearly to laughter.

“Hotch,” Derek whispered after a long silence, after listening to the storm rustle through the trees above them and rattle the tarp, thankful that there was no lightning. He shifted their bodies to get them off of the protruding root that was digging into his hip and curled up a little tighter. “You gonna be okay to walk fifteen miles tomorrow?”

Hotch hummed. “Yes. I’ll be fine.”

“We can tap out. Take the day and just chill. No shame in that.”

“Not a chance. Why, are you tired? Do you want to stop?”

“What? No. What…”

“It just sounds like maybe you’re using my knee as a way out.”

“I am not.”

“No?” Hotch asked, smiling as he kissed Derek in the dark, nuzzling his cold nose into Derek’s warm skin. “You sure?”

“Man. Fuck your knee. I hope it gives out on you tomorrow.”

“No you don’t.”

“I’ll leave you behind, let you get snatched by the people hunters.”

“No you won’t.”

Derek sighed. “No I won’t. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I forgive you.”

Hotch’s knee held up better than he’d anticipated through the last fifteen miles of the trek. The ache was deep and kept him awake some of the night worrying that he was being over-confident, but by morning it had loosened up some. He was limping and in considerable pain somewhere around the fifth mile but they had a good time, and that was worth plenty of discomfort in his book. By the tenth mile Derek had himself a little limp too, his blisters giving him grief. It wasn’t so much a limp, Hotch thought, as it was a painful waddle through the woods.

“My gooch is on fire,” Derek said when he noticed Hotch scrutinizing the way he was walking. “Damn rain gave me some wicked swamp ass.”

“Derek…” Hotch laughed, shaking his head.

“What? You sayin’ it’s not bothering you?”

Hotch refused to dignify that with an answer.

The last day was gloriously rain free, and where they ended had even better access to the creek than their camp the night before. So they had to trudge through thick, soupy mud and fight their way up past landslides to get to the end...it would make the creek that much better. At more than one spot, Hotch allowed Derek to help hoist him up, pull him up a hill when his knee buckled beneath him and refused to support his weight at certain angles. He couldn’t even be mad about that, not even when Derek insisted that he piggy back to the finish. (Hotch’s staunch refusal to even consider it gave him a hearty laugh, the kind that fueled the rest of his walk. Put a pep in his step, as his mother would say.)

They didn’t arrive first, that was Jerry and Mason from fugitive and Derek assumed it was the thought of snuggling the night before...they were so appalled at it, they didn’t sleep, they just got up and finished the race. Hotch and Derek managed to come in a respectable third and were pleased with it.

“You think the richies got the cyber nerds?”

“We’ll never know,” Hotch said, rolling his eyes at Derek’s question. He had been surprised that the commentary on human hunters had been dropped while they were out in the woods, maybe that was due to his knee taking up too much of Derek’s thoughts. If that was the case, he was thankful for the pain he’d endured that much more.

As soon as all of the formalities were done and everyone had separated, tired and ready for a shower, Hotch sent Jessica a text to let her know where to get them. It was his first time turning on his phone in days and he was glad to slide it back into his bag, ready to kick out of his shoes and do a quick change into shorts and t-shirts for some time in the creek. Everyone else piled out, ready to return to civilization but they wanted to stick around a while. It was the best part of the whole trip, standing in the icy water, all blisters and swollen knee and swamp ass, eating handfuls of trail mix while they waited for Jess and Jack to come pick them up.

“You boys look rough!” Jess called, walking carefully down the slope of pebbly hillside toward the water while Jack and Clooney bounded quickly. No fear. Her feet slipped out from under her more than once in the loose packed ground that had been ravaged by the storms of the last two days. Hotch and Derek just stood in the water and watched, content not to move, just to stand.

Jack and Clooney played with rocks, Jack trying to skip them over the current and Clooney trying to catch them while Jessica attacked them with a barrage of questions from her dry perch on the rocky beach. She wasn’t about to take her shoes off and get in, she knew damn well that water was cold.

“No hunters?”

“No hunters,” Hotch replied quickly. Derek shot him a disparaging look and then glanced at Jessica.

“We don’t know that. We never saw the guys from cyber crimes come out…”

Hotch groaned. “I overheard Jerry from fugitive say that the cyber guys tapped out the first night when it started raining.”

“Sure they did. You believe that? They’re someone’s dinner, buddy.”

Hotch, with a smile, decided he’d had enough of the woods and was ready to go home. He hadn’t been able to take any pain medication while they were out in the woods, not wanting to dull his senses when he needed them, but boy was he ready now to make up for lost time. Jack watched his dad limp gingerly out of the water with a look of concern, and without hesitation Jessica reached out to take his hand. She steadied him as he struggled to find adequate footing on slippery rocks.

“Bum knee?” she asked, stepping dangerously close to the water in her shoes. He made an effort to move a little faster, holding her hand but not letting her do much.

“Yeah. Bum knee.”

“Let me help you old man.” She held his hand tighter and guided him out of the water, letting him lean on her for the short walk up the hill. Derek followed close behind with Jack slung over his shoulder and Clooney nipping at his heels. He’d come back for their packs once his family was securely placed in the vehicle and ready to go. They had a long drive ahead of them.

“He says he’s fine.”

“Oh, yeah, well he definitely looks fine.”

“I am fine.” Hotch was grumbling as he fumbled with his seat belt in Jessica’s little rust bucket of a car. It wasn’t that she couldn’t afford a better car, she just didn’t want one. She loved her old Volkswagen Rabbit that required a special mechanic and wait times that were absurd for broken parts, with its rusted burnt orange paint job and bright flower decals that screamed Woodstock and Grateful Dead. Hotch barely fit in the car and he had to slide in sideways, bending his sore knees at an awkward angle to make sure Jack would fit behind him and Derek could slide in on the other side. Jessica didn’t let anyone else drive her car and she hated when Hotch was in the front seat, his long legs dangerously close to the stick shift. No way he’d fit in the back, though. “You should have brought my car,” Hotch said when she started the engine. It took two tries and at least ten minutes to let the old girl warm up enough that she wouldn’t stall out the minute Jessica tried to hit the gas.

“I hate driving that thing. It’s a grandma car.”

He had no argument there. If grandma car meant safe and secure, if that meant protected, then yeah. He did drive a grandma car. She drove a rust bucket and Derek had a motorcycle, one of them had to be responsible.

“Can we have PIZZA for dinner?!” Jack asked, thrashing around in the backseat and kneeing Hotch in the small of his back repeatedly through the thin, broken down old leather seats. Clooney’s hot breath from the back was overpowering. Hotch frowned and cranked the window down for some air.

“I want steak. A big juicy steak. One that came from a cow that was alive this century.”

“Jess, you up for playing grillmaster tonight? I don’t think I can stand that long…” Derek said, trying to stretch his legs out along the backseat, right over the top of Jack. His seat belt didn’t work anyway, and he was beat. A barbecue did sound nice though, Hotch had the right idea. A big juicy steak, some ibuprofen (and maybe something a little stronger for Hotch), some beers, and a long long nap. After a shower. He had mud in places he didn’t know mud could get.

“If I get to wear your apron and use your fancy spatula. You know the one.”

Derek grunted under his breath about that being his stuff, but he couldn’t argue. If it meant he didn’t have to do the work he’d probably agree to just about anything.

And as the sun sank over the trees, Jessica stood in Derek’s apron (that hung to her knees and looked ridiculous on a woman her size) and started getting the grill ready. She would enjoy getting the chance to be grillmaster for the night, Derek didn’t often relinquish the job. Hotch rarely took it, he preferred to lounge in the hammock, his one true indulgence. It was her turn. She set about cleaning the grill and seasoning it first, going through all the steps before slapping the big fat steaks on to sizzle while Jack and Clooney played. Hotch and Derek, freshly showered and medicated, were content to doze off in the hammock together and wait for their meal which they both promised they would wake back up for.

“If you don’t, Clooney will eat your steaks. There’s always the MREs in your pack for later. I saw one that said it was beef ravioli in meat sauce. Sounds delicious.”

“Why are you so mean?” Derek whined, his voice muffled and sleepy. His face was pressed into the back of Hotch’s head, Hotch who was already fast asleep smelling like sweet shampoo and icy hot. It hadn’t taken him any time at all once his eyes were closed. She smiled and shrugged.

“Go to sleep Derek. I’m sure the mosquitoes will wake you up before I do.”

#aaron hotchner #derek morgan #jessica brooks #hotchgan #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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ssahotchnerr · 1 year

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I absolutely LOVED your expanded thoughts on the Foyet arc with the earlyseasons!reader AU I’m gonna give you my playout of the arc in my head lol cause i’d love to see what you think :) i’ll spilt this into two asks boxes one before the altercation episode and then another for the actual episode with Foyet Altercation so its not so long!

Ok starting when Aaron gets back from the pig farm case, in my AU reader and Jack aren’t there because they went out of state to visit reader’s family and during the time Aaron is being tortured they’re being driven back to their shared home by a trusted neighbor.

Reader walks into the home through the front door with Jack in her arms and see’s the scene in front of her, panics and drops off Jack with the trusted neighbor and comes back to the scene to try and figure out what happens. When she’s left stumped she calls up Emily and from there everything is the same other than the small detail that when reader finds out Aaron is in the hospital she picks up Jack instead of Morgan and Jennifer doing so.

Everything in the hospital plays out the same they say they’re tragic goodbyes (I headcanon that when both reader and Jack walk out the room Aaron either has to send everyone away to cry or he almost has panic attack 🥺). NOW TO SPICE THINGS UP reader is in the early stages of pregnancy when she and Jack are sent into the witness protection program, i’m thinking maybe 3-5 weeks, like she doesn’t know until a little bit later after cutting contact with Hotch. Now idk how long went by since Jack was actually placed in the witness protection program in this arc but for this AU reader is barely even showing (maybe they’re there for four months tops until the altercation)

cw; discussions of pregnancy, stress, mentions of violence, fem!reader

okay first, i love everything about this, and two, the concept of reader finding out she's pregnant?!?!?!!? omg omg omg i need to elaborate on this

i've always headcannoned something similar- like in s12 when they all go into witness protection due to scratch, reader finds out she's pregnant then, but i kinda like this concept more?!?!

can you just imagine all the mixed emotions reader would be feeling😭 first to name, obviously the stress of being put into hiding without aaron, and the last time seeing him being in a hospital bed? like the man was stabbed nine times, he's extremely lucky to be alive, and then within a day being sent away like that? obviously there's the worry for his state in terms of recovering, like yes he was awake, but that doesn't mean a complication still can't arise out of nowhere. then, there's the idea of something happening to aaron while being gone. like yes, reader and jack are being targeted and that's the main focus, but so is aaron?!? who's to say aaron is not being constantly stalked by foyet, or foyet could turn the tables and go after him again. then obviously there's the worry for jack and reader's state :( jack is too young to understand, so he's asking so many questions reader can't answer without scaring him :( he's constantly asking where his daddy is :( if he's feeling better, because again, the last time he saw him was at the hospital, and just the stray of questions pertaining to normal routine? why can't he play with his toys at home, or have his favorite plushy with him since they couldn't stop at home beforehand, why can't he go to preschool, things like that. it would just make reader so :((( because she has to make up different reasons.

and the hospital discussion about them going into hiding :( aaron would be putting a brave face on, as he normally does, but reader can see right through it :( she knows he's hurting, but he doesn't want jack, and reader, to get scared :( even when reader gets weepy, aaron is forcing himself not to cry too :( so i second that he would have to send everyone away to cry :( like watching reader and jack leave??!!? it would ruin him :( there's the impending danger, and he knows what foyet is capable of. like with shaunessy, it was ten years. given the bau is the bau and they tend to resolve things quicker, aaron knows this probably won't last that long, but part of him worries it will be :( and don't get me started about the guilt he feels about not making the deal :( of course, he fully believes he made the right decision of not taking it, because he's him and he refuses to play foyet's game, but yet he feels guilty because he put the whole family in danger :( and that's the one thing he can't particularly forgive himself for.

and then reader finding out about her pregnancy?!?!? again, a complete mix of emotions. first, the happiness of bringing a new life into the world with the man she loves 🥹 they've been talking about having a new baby and have been trying for a while, but finding out under these circumstances :( now yet another little one is in danger, not being able to tell aaron at all- he has no idea he's officially the dad of another baby :(, and going through the tough, early stages of pregnancy without him. like maybe when reader was pregnant with jack (given haley is nonexistent), morning sickness was awful, she was constantly nauseous, etc., but aaron was always there to provide comfort, and this time, he's not :( and also, reader is sad about aaron potentially missing out on the entire pregnancy :( like when she was pregnant with jack, it was so exciting when she first started showing, felt kicks for the first time- the two of them were so so happy and couldn't wait for him to arrive, it was such a special time :((( but this time around, that won't be the case. and reader is definitely worried about giving birth without him. again- there's no telling how long this is for, and it's terrifying. part two

#i absolutely love love love hearing about everyone's hcs and aus and such <333333 #y'all feel free to share ALWAYS #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner imagine

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reidgraygubler · 3 years

Text

pretty little treat (hotchniss/reader)

title: pretty little treat

Requested: no

Couple: Emily Prentiss/Fem!Reader/Aaron Hotchner

Category: SMUT

Content Warning: Sexual Content (daddy kink, lots of praise, lots of degradation, threesome (F/F/M), fingering, oral (fem), multiple orgasms, hair pulling, groping, heavy petting, teasing, hair pulling, penetrive/safe sex, implied condom use, D/s & BDSM themes, orgasm denial (1 instance), slight humiliation, fem masturbation, handjob), dirty thoughts, dirty talk, Dom!Emily, Dom!Aaron, swearing, Bi!Reader & Bi!Emily, kissing/making out, brief aftercare (consists of cuddling and praise), mentions of canon-consistent trauma (hotch’s injuries w/ foyet, emily’s injuries w/ ian doyle)

Word Count: 7,433

Summary: Emily brings home a little treat for her girlfriend.

A/N: in my rewatch I got to demonology and I suddenly wanted to write prentiss/reader/hotch smut. Thank you to @imagining-in-the-margins , @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff , and @reidetic for helping me come up with a few ideas and a few other nitty-gritty things. Please, this is just pure smut that i probably had way too much fun writing. I also… binged dharma and greg while i wrote this… so this is totally domestic!hotch too o.o ALSO thank you to @princessmooshie and @newportonmymind for beta-reading this for me! I totally appreciate you! ANYWAY, thank you all so, so much for all the love and support! I seriously hope you enjoy reading this! check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{**}

“I finished early. So I’m gonna go home.” I looked down at Emily as I wrapped my arms around her neck. She looked away from her file and turned her head to face me.

“Okay, text me when you get home,” she whispered before pressing her lips to mine. I hummed as I leaned into her display of affection. “I have a present for you too. But you won’t get it till I get home… So don’t try looking for it.” She smiled before poking my nose. I wrinkled my nose before kissing her again.

“Fine. I’ll see you in a bit,” I whispered as I looked at her with a soft smile. “Goodbye, BAU Family. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I stood up and looked at all the team members with a smile.

“Have a nice night,” Aaron said as he looked at me and nodded. I smiled at him and returned the nod. I stared at him for a moment longer. I hoped it wasn’t too obvious because I didn’t mean to stare at him. It just happened. My lower lip was pulled between my teeth as my thoughts suddenly ran wild. I was just happy no one noticed, other than Emily. She totally noticed.

“Right,” clearing my throat as I spoke, “Bye guys.” I looked back at Emily before finally leaving. I kept my head low as I walked, and when I stepped on to the elevator, I noticed the way Emily was staring at me. I couldn’t tell if it was a good stare or a bad stare. I wouldn’t be surprised if I get a talking to later about that.

When I finally got to my car, I pulled my phone from my bag and looked at all the missed messages and notifications from the day. All the texts I had meant nothing to me the second I saw Emily’s name show up at the top of my screen with a new, unread messages. Swallowing roughly, I tapped the notification and read the text.

Emily>Me: Dirty girl… I saw the way you were staring at Hotch… Dirty… Dirty… Girl…

I stared at the text with wide eyes and my breathing growing shallow. Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. I am so fucked. She’s going to come home, drag me to bed and fuck me over. I couldn’t tell if I was scared or excited, but the way my thighs pressed together told me I was more excited than scared.

I chucked my phone back into my bag before starting my car. My hands were clenched around the steering wheel, my knuckles blanching from the tightness. Tapping the radio on and turning it up so loud to drown out my thoughts.

But the loud classic rock, metal, jazzy blues, or any genre didn’t help me at all. I was still in my head thinking. And, they weren’t about Emily either. They were about Aaron.

The thought of sitting on Aaron’s lap, wearing nothing but his shirt. His lips on mine before trailing over my jaw and down my neck. One hand resting on my chest. While the other was resting high on my legs, his thumb brushing against my bare thigh. It was only a matter of moments before his fingers were against m- “Fuck,” I whispered before shaking my head.

I had to pull over on the side of the road for a minute because I was starting to get distracted. And, if I wanted to get home safely, I had to stop for a minute. My head had to be clear of that. Hopefully Emily wouldn’t be home before me. I think she’d rather me be safe and show up at home later, rather than find out I got horny and in a wreck.

After a few minutes of just sitting on the side of the highway with loud music playing, while I thought about one of the grossest cases I could think of, I was finally ready to continue driving.

My fingers tapped the top of the steering wheel, while I muttered the words to whatever song was playing over the radio.

When I finally got home, I took a quick, and very cold shower. My thoughts were slowly becoming normal as I read over an old case file. I guess the focus on all the blood, guts, and gore help me out. It was still hard though.

I was home alone for maybe 45 minutes, tops. Just long enough to make me be alone with my thoughts. Maybe the shower, old case, and loud music didn’t help as much as I wanted.

I could hear the lock on the front door click to be unlocked, and the door opening. My body froze with anticipation.

“I’m home! Hope you didn’t go poking around for that little present,” Emily called from the front room. I cleared my throat slightly before speaking.

“Thank god!” I shouted from my spot on the chair. I kept my eyes on file in hand as I waited for Emily to enter the room. “Longest hour of my life…” I tried to let my tone be desperate. But I don’t think I had to try very hard. She just had to know what I wanted, without me actually saying it. I closed the file when she finally stepped into the living room.

“Sorry I kept you waiting, Kitten, I know how needy and impatient you are,” Emily spoke as she smiled at me, “Especially when you’re waiting for me.” I smiled as I stared at her for a moment. Though my smile was quick to melt away as someone stepped around her and entered the living room.

Aaron stood beside Emily, a slightly smug smile on his lips. His arms were folded over his chest as he stared back at me. I stared at him, my lips parted slightly. The feeling of shock and excitement grew in my chest, and I remembered the thoughts I had on the way home.

“Oh, h-hi, Aaron.” I looked at him with a nervous smile on my lips. I shifted in my seat as the pair walked in my direction.

“I hope you don’t mind that I brought Aaron over. I needed his help with something.” Emily smiled as she stood behind me. I swallowed roughly as Aaron stood beside me. It was hard not to shift in my seat. A familiar… feeling growing in the pit of my stomach.

Something told me Emily didn’t need help with anything. And there’s something else to this. Why else would Aaron be here? I wouldn’t know. They’re always secretive at work. So I wouldn’t expect anything different here.

“What’s this about? Really?” I finally spoke after a long moment of silence. I looked up at Aaron as he stood beside me, his hand delicately cupping my cheek. He was looking back down at me with a certain softness in his eyes. It was weird seeing him be so… gentle. I was so used to seeing him as a hardass at the office. But here, now? I was at a loss for words. I was so lost in the way he held and caressed my face. I’m not gonna lie, forgot about Emily for half a second.

“Well, kitten, you wanted me to be nicer,” Emily started as she stood behind me. I was honestly too involved with how Aaron was looking at me and touching to actually pay attention to Emily. “But... I’m afraid I can’t do that,” she continued before she placed her hand on my chin, forcing me to look up at her. I took a deep shaky breath as my attention was now on her. “So, I brought someone who could help with that. A pretty little treat.” Her tone was deep and rough as she spoke. I swallowed roughly as we stared at each other. I could feel my heart begin to race, and my breathing pick up with each breath I took. At this point it was impossible to keep my excitement at bay.

“Emily,” Aaron cut in, forcing me to look over at him. Emily kept her eyes on me. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see a smirk growing on her lips. “Be careful with her.” He looked up at Emily with a stern expression on his face. There was the Aaron Hotchner I was so used to seeing.

“What? She likes it when I’m rough with her. Don’t you, Kitten?” Emily asked as she looked down at me with a sarcastic smile. Suddenly I couldn’t take my eyes off Emily. I mean, of course, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was my world, and I was hers. I’d move Heaven and Earth for her if she asked.

“Y-yes, Ma’am,” my voice was thready as I kept my eyes on her. That was when I noticed a wandering hand going down my chest and towards the hem of my shirt. And then I remembered, we had a guest.

“Well, maybe this one time she doesn’t want to be manhandled,” Aaron spoke softly as he slipped his hand under my shirt. My breathing grew ragged as I looked over at him. My eyes were wide as I stared at him. "Isn't that right, Princess?" he asked as he rested his hand over my bra.

“Please,” I whimpered, not taking my eyes off him. I ignored Emily as she stood above me, taking in what was happening between her girlfriend and her superior. Part of me thought she liked it. But, I know Emily well enough to know that she doesn't like it when people play with things that belong to her.

Aaron’s smile grew soft as his fingers finally touched the soft tissue of my breast. I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief and let my eyelids flutter shut. He was doing a great job for a minute there. My legs pressing together the longer he went on.

That was until there was a sudden absence under my shirt. My eyes snapped open and I instantly looked at Emily. She looked down at me, a wicked grin on her lips.

“What… What was that for?” I whispered, staring at her. She smiled at me before looking up at Aaron. I glanced at Aaron and noticed he was looking back at her with the same smile as Emily. I didn’t appreciate the way they were silently having a conversation with each other with their eyes. They did that a lot too, especially at the office.

I’m not sure what I was expecting them to do…. But I wasn’t expecting them to kiss. My mouth fell agape and my eyes widened more than before. I almost jumped out of my seat to protest, but Emily was quick to rest a hand on my shoulder to keep me in my place. I struggled watching them. Emily’s hand pressed on his chest before pushing it over his chest, then up over his shoulder under his jacket.

“Emily,” I whined, watching her finally push his jacket over his shoulders, but not yet off his frame. I stared at them as I grew increasingly impatient. “This isn’t fair,” I cried before I bit my lips together. It was getting impossible to not get frustrated at that moment. Watching two people, who I wanted to ruin me, kiss right there in front of me was so hard. They both knew that too. It was her form of tourture to me. Punishment for how I stared at Aaron before I left the BAU.

Of course, Emily knew any thought I had. She read my mind back at the office, when I was staring at Aaron the way I was. She probably knew that I had more thoughts while I was driving home. It was also probably why she brought specifically Aaron over. This was killing me.

The pair parted before they lowered to the ground on either side of me. My body instantly turned towards Emily, someone who I was familiar with in an intimate setting. She seemed happy with my action too. I just hoped Aaron wasn't upset.

"This night's about you, Kitten," Emily whispered as she carefully ran her fingers through my hair. I hummed happily as I leaned closer to her. Our faces were inches apart, and all I wanted to do was kiss her. I wanted to kiss her the way Aaron kissed her moments ago.

At that moment, I wanted her to do whatever to me. I was so used to it being that way. Some nights I was used for her own gratification. Other nights she would give me what I wanted, but not till she had her way with me. It was about me. But that was why Aaron was here.

"Please, Em," I whispered as I lifted a hand to her face. She smiled as I cautiously pulled her face closer to mine, our lips connecting. Again, I wasn't used to her gentleness. Although I could tell she wanted to take me right then and there. She was struggling to hold herself back. Part of me wanted her to just go for it. To take me then and there, and to let Aaron watch.

Emily hummed as she opened her mouth and further deepened the kiss. At the moment I couldn't get enough of her. My body wanting to move closer to hers. I was already willing to let her play with me.

A breath of air got caught in my throat as a hand appeared on my shoulder. I slowly moved away from Emily and looked over my shoulder at Aaron. He was waiting patiently.

I glanced at Emily, making sure it was okay before I went for him. She smiled softly and nodded. I looked back at Aaron, turning my body more to face him. I leaned into his touch the closer I got to him.

"You have to use your words, Kitten. Tell Aaron what you want," Emily whispered as she sat behind me on the chair. Her hands slowly ran up and down my back, almost causing me to forget what I was doing.

"K-kiss me… please," I whispered, trying hard to not sound too nervous. I took a deep breath as I looked up at Aaron. He looked at me before placing his hands on either side of my face.

The wind was knocked from my lungs the second his lips touched mine. My hands found their way to his tie, pulling him closer to me. His face moved with me, the light stubble he had left the slightest burn across my skin. My hands moved from his tie to his shoulders, just barely pushing off his jacket.

I was so lost in him that I forgot where I was and who was with me. I couldn’t stop the soft moan that came from me, but Aaron seemed pleasantly surprised with my reaction. A smile grew on his lips as he kept them against mine.

Then my world came to a screeching halt when Emily pulled my hair back so I was away from Aaron, and instead looking up at her. My eyes were wide as we stared at each other for a long time before either of us said anything.

"Why don't you go get ready in our bedroom for Aaron and I? We'll be in shortly, okay?" She asked as she lowered down to me. The grip she had on my hair loosened slightly. I nodded as I swallowed roughly. I knew before she even opened her mouth that I was to use my words.

"Yes, Ma'am." I nodded before stumbling to my feet. I turned and looked down at the two. The way they both looked at me gave me butterflies.

I watched as Aaron fixed his jacket, readjusting it so it was back on him. Two shades of lipstick were smeared on and around his lips. A light pink blush grew like wildfire across his cheeks.

I stared at the two for a moment longer before dropping my gaze and turning away. My feet quickly moved, bringing me to the bedroom. I tried to be even quicker when I got ready. Redoing my makeup, changing into something more… appealing. I wanted this moment to be perfect. Thank god I had showered when I got home.

When I was good, and sure, that I was ready, I sat on the dead center of the bed. My fingers anxiously pulling at the bedding beneath me. I wondered what they were talking about. Emily was probably setting down the ground rules of what would happen in the bedroom and with me. This is the first time we’ve ever done something like this. I just hope she would give a little leeway for both Aaron and I. Surely she would…

I jumped slightly and looked towards the door when it clicked open. Emily was the first to step in, coming right up to the bed. She very slowly undressed, keeping her eyes on mine while doing so. I smiled as my eyes trailed down her body. Even with her imperfections, she was still perfect to me. I didn’t even see the old scars she got from Ian Doyle, I just saw her.

I swallowed roughly, watching her crawl on the bed. She placed her hand on my shoulder, pushing me back so I was lying down. Her body hovered over mine, her arms on either side of my body. I just knew Aaron was standing behind her, watching the scene unfold.

“Now, I know I said tonight was about you, Kitten… But you still have to be my good girl and follow our rules,” her voice was low, and she had a sly smile on her lips, “Are you going to be a good girl for Aaron and I?” she asked, keeping her voice low as she looked at me. I stared up at her, suddenly feeling dizzy as she rested her hand on my face. I nodded slightly as she moved down my body. She halted her movement as she got right to the waistband of my underwear.

“You have to use your words, Kitten, you know that.” She smiled as she tilted her head to the side. I swallowed roughly as she snapped my waistband against my skin. I almost couldn’t breath as she finally slipped her hand in my panties. “Are you going to be a good girl,” she asked again as she dragged a finger up my folds.

“Y-yeah. Y-y-yes,” my voice was shaky as I spoke.

“Yes what?” Emily asked as she moved her finger around my clit. I took a deep shaky breath and nodded.

“Yes, I can be a good… A good girl for you… an-and Aaron,” I whimpered. Emily smiled again before pressing her lips to mine. Her movements between my legs moved faster as time went on.

“That’s my good girl. Aaron already knows our safe word, and knows the rules… If you’re extra good, maybe Aaron will come back.” She pressed her lips to mine when she was done talking.

A moan fell from my mouth and into hers as she slipped two fingers into my entrance. She smiled before pressing her lips down my neck and chest.

“Aaron, are you undressed yet?” Emily spoke against my skin. My lungs constricted and felt like they were on fire the longer she touched me. Her free hand lightly touched across my chest, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“Emily,” I whimpered, my hands instantly gripping the bedding beside me. I could feel my chest tighten the deeper the breath I took. It was so hard not to make any whimpers or cries as she continued her ministrations.

The bed dipped beside me, causing me to open my eyes and look in that direction. Aaron was sitting beside me, sitting in just his boxers. He looked down at me, a soft smile on his lips.

“Hi there, Princess,” he whispered as he brought a hand to rest gently on my face. I bit my lips hard as I stared at him.

“Oh, so now you’re his Princess,” Emily spoke before Aaron could say anything else. I looked up at her with a mild fear in my eyes. She smiled before quickening her movements. “You know what you are, Kitten,” her voice was low, a hiss.

“N-n-” I was briefly cut off by a soft moan, my eyes fluttering shut and lips falling open slightly. The familiar tightness of the foreseeable end grew in my stomach. As the seconds ticked by, it got harder to be quiet.

“You’re a slut. A dirty, rotten, little slut,” she spoke her words harshly. I gasped as I looked up at her.

“No, no you’re not.” It was Aaron’s turn to talk, causing me to look up at him. His eyes were still on me, and his hand slowly moved back down my body. His hand was back where it was earlier, under my bra and over my breast. “No, you’re perfect, Princess. And you’re doing so good. I bet you feel so good right now,” he whispered as he lowered closer to my face. His face was inches from mine. I could feel his breath fan out across my skin. I just wanted his lips against mine, it was right there.

“I wouldn’t believe anything he says, Princess,” Emily mocked and scowled when Aaron and I were moments away from kissing. I swallowed roughly before moaning. “He’s just saying that because he can’t feel how wet you are. Soaked even.” She looked over at Aaron with a smirk. He looked away from me and up at Emily. I watched as he clenched his jaw as he stared at her.

“Em… Em, I’m so close… S’close...” I slurred as I clenched my muscles around her fingers. She looked back down at me with a smug smirk before she pulled her hand from between my legs. “Emily!” I whined feeling the tightness in my stomach slowly melt away.

“Not yet, Princess,” she mockingly whispered before lowering down to my lips, “Not yet,” she murmured against me before sitting up away from me. I looked at her with annoyance on my face. She looked over at Aaron with a smug smile before nodding at me.

“This is… This is torture!” I shouted as I propped myself up on my elbows. She moved from between my legs so she was straddling over my stomach. Her eyes were still on Aaron, I wished so desperately that she would look at me. She firmly pressed her hand to the center of my chest. Her other hand was lightly against my face. My heart picked up it’s pace as I stared at her, it was so hard to breathe with how she looked at me.

“You spoiled, little, brat,” Emily hissed as she squished my cheeks together. I wrinkled my nose as I stared at her. I could feel my chest lift with each breath as I stared at her. The smirk she wore on her lips made me dizzy.

“Just think about how much I’ll spoil you,” Aaron then cut in, forcing me to look over at him. Emily’s hand was still holding my face as I struggled to look over at him. “Because that’s all I want to do,” he cooed before lifting his hand to Emily’s. He glanced at Emily before gently pulling her hand off my face. “I’ll spoil you so much. You won’t even know what to do with yourself, Princess,” he whispered as he looked back down at me. He kept his eyes on me as he carefully brought a hand down my stomach to my underwear.

“Aaron,” Emily warned as she looked over at him.

“Do it,” I whispered as I stared at him. He looked between me and Emily for a moment before slipping his hand into my underwear. If Emily really didn’t want him to do this, she would have stopped him before he even touched my stomach.

I gasped lightly once his hand met my center. My back arched the slightest bit as his finger started to slowly move against me. My head fell back against the pillow as I looked up at him.

My hand went up to his head, my fingers getting lost in his hair, as I pulled him down to me. Our lips connected, and it was harsher than before. I wondered what Emily thought while she watched her superior kiss and finger her girlfriend.

I just assumed she was annoyed that someone other than her was making me feel this way. That was until I heard her soft moans come from above me. I don’t think I’ve moved away from someone so fast. I moved away from Aaron to see Emily looking down at me, with her hand down the front of her panties. I took a deep breath as I stared at her. Great, now I was the jealous one.

“Mhm mmm, nope. You get Aaron.” Emily smiled at me as she watched my facial expression change.

“Please, please,” I half whined-half moaned. My head fell back against the pillow, and my mouth opened a little bit. It was so hard to stay quiet the closer I got to finishing.

Aaron’s hand appeared back on my face as he guided me to look at him. That was when Emily rolled off my body and laid beside me on the bed.

“You’re doing such a good job, Princess,” Aaron whispered as he pressed his lips to the side of my head. I took a shaky breath as he looked back at me before pressing his lips to mine. He seemed to eat up the moan that came from me.

“A little too nosy for me, Princess,” Emily mocked, causing me to look over at her. I could tell she was getting closer, and would probably finish before me, because that’s always what happened. It was one of our rules. “Fuck,” she moaned as she dropped her head back. I took a deep breath as I looked up at Aaron.

“Please, Aaron,” I stared at him as I bit hard on my lower lip. He looked over at Emily, looking to see if it was alright. I struggled to stay still the louder she was beside me. “No, no it’s up to-fuck… you… Please.” I could feel my hands grip the sheets hard. I wondered if I wasn’t holding the bedding if my palms would have bleed.

“It’s okay. You can do it. Cum for me, Princess,” Aaron whispered as he pushed my hair away from my face. I stared at him, watching him nod to reassure me. His hand fell from my face and landed on my breast. I cried out as my body shook.

Emily’s hands were back on me when she finished. Her hands moved quickly over my body as she pressed her lips to the side of my face and down my neck. My mind was going fuzzy the longer they both touched me.

“Mm, Daddy,” I moaned as my back arched slightly. I looked up at Emily. She looked back at me with a smile before pressing her lips to mine, making me feel really good. The overall feeling was caused because of the two people near me. But also because I was so close to finishing.

“You like that,” Aaron asked, his voice low as he spoke. His lips were still pressed against my neck while his hands still worked between my legs. I looked at Emily, and she looked back at me with an amused smirk on her lips. I really didn’t have the heart to tell him.

“I… I was talking to… to Emily,” I whispered as I looked over at him. He moved away from my neck. Emily looked around me, causing me to look back at her. Her amused smile grew smug as she looked at him. Aaron slowed his movements, forcing me to look over at him. Emily went back to letting her hands roam my body. I could feel her move one hand towards Aaron’s, helping him back to the pace he was at before.

“But… But I can call you daddy too if you want,” I whimpered as I stared at him. Aaron laughed and shook his head.

“That’s okay, Princess,” he whispered before returning his lips back to mine. A lengthy moan came from me as I finally reached my high. Emily kept her hand, and Aaron’s, between my legs for a moment as they helped me come down from my high.

“Hips up, Kitten,” Emily whispered as she moved back between my legs. I looked up at her before carefully lifting my hips off the bed. She smiled at me before hooking her fingers on my underwear and pulled them off my hips and legs. “Good girl,” she cooed as she tossed my panties towards Aaron. I glanced over at him watching as he held my underwear in one hand.

“Kitten,” Emily spoke again, causing me to look at her. She smiled before leaning closer to me. Her lips were close to mine, and I wanted so badly to just kiss her. “You’re gonna stroke Aaron’s cock while I eat you out, you understand,” she mused while her hand cupped my face. I huffed a deep breath and nodded, possibly a little too excitedly.

“Yes, ma’am. I understand,” I whispered before going to kiss her. She moved away from me before I could connect our lips. The smile she wore on her lips drove me crazy. I just wanted her.

“Is that alright with you, Aaron,” Emily asked, her fingers running up and down my inner thigh. My legs tensed up and I could feel goosebumps across my skin.

Aaron sat up more beside me, looking at Emily with a smirk before looking down at me. I stared up and between the two of them, waiting for the next activity of the night to happen.

“I think it’s more than alright, Emily.” Aaron smiled down at me as he carefully touched my face. My breathing stuttered in my chest as he cupped my chin. His thumb brushed my lower lip, pulling it down to my chin slightly. My mouth fell open slightly and my tongue stuck out. Aaron smiled before carefully pressing his thumb in the center on my mouth. My lips closed around it. I moved my tongue around his thumb and kept my eyes on his.

And then my eyes snapped shut and a soft moan got caught in my throat. Emily’s mouth attached to my pussy. Her tongue lapping at the previous mess her and Aaron had caused moments ago. It was so hard to even focus on one thing, that I had forgotten what she wanted for Aaron.

I opened my eyes and looked back at him. A small smile grew across his lips before he kissed mine. A deep breath escaped my nostrils and my eyes lightly closed. I carefully, and slowly, moved my hand across his stomach, and towards his boxers. My hand slipped under his waistband and my fingers wrapped around his cock.

“Shit,” Aaron breathed against my lips. I struggled to smile as I carefully moved my hand up and down his length. My other hand went up to his head, gently pulling his hair. This time it was Aaron’s turn to try and be quiet. But thank God he was struggling. All the sounds he made were… Heavenly.

He was so painfully hard. I felt bad it took so long for him to be touched like this. But it was worth it. Emily must have loved all the desperate sounds that were coming from Aaron and me.

I tried to keep my pace quick, but it was so hard the closer I got. I could feel his face falter against mine the lazier my movements went. It was so hard to keep my attention on anything as Emily got more enthusiastic with her actions. I, really, honestly didn’t care that I was getting lazy with Aaron. And I don’t think he did either.

A small whimper came from me, and my hand stopped moving. My free hand moved from Aaron’s head and down towards the back of Emily’s. My fingers got tangled in her hair. It was even worse, or better, when Emily hummed and sent vibrations through my body.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I cried out against his lips. I bit hard on my lower lip as the hand around Aaron’s cock slowed to a stop, and came. It was hard to stay quiet, not that either of them would care. Frankly, I think they rather enjoyed it, especially Aaron.

“Emily, Emily, please,” I cried when she didn’t let up and move away from me. My body squirming away from her, but failing when she placed an arm over my hips to keep me in place. Aaron kept busy by kissing my face and down my chest.

All I could do was breathe, or try to breathe. I thought everything was too much before. But this… This was too much. Once Aaron started nipping at my skin, I couldn’t even breathe. My eyes just stayed glued shut, while my body squirmed.

“Emily,” I whined, trying to lift her arm off me. She hummed, again, instead of moving away from me. It was driving me crazy! I couldn’t even do anything other than just be there, and well, enjoy myself. I don’t know why I was complaining. I was basically in heaven. Two people I… I loved were here… Worshiping me, and loving on me, and making me feel really fucking good. And I was starting to complain. It was just starting to become too much. They were good complaints… even though that’s an oxymoron.

“Come on, Princess. You’re doing such a good job.” Aaron whispered as he gently moved his hands around my body. My body shook slightly and my vision blurred white, and I finished again for the third time.

Emily came up from my legs and looked down at me. I stared at her as my body fell limp against the bed and close to Aaron. She smiled for a moment before pressing her lips to mine. I hummed and couldn’t stop myself from smiling.

“I’ll be right back. Aaron,” Emily started as she looked between Aaron and I. She looked right at Aaron before leaning closer to him. “Go easy on her,” she whispered before pressing her lips to his. She climbed off the bed and grabbed her robe, slipping it on before leaving the room. I looked up at Aaron just as he looked down at me.

“W-what is she doing?” I stared at him as he moved so he was over me. My legs fell open to accommodate the space of him. But he didn’t yet answer my question. Which I was happy for because I got otherwise distracted.

My eyes trailed up and down his body, getting distracted as they landed on long bumps across his abdomen. I couldn’t help but lift my hand to trace my fingers over the old, healed wounds. They were jagged and ridgedy, like the person who put them there intended to kill him.

I almost asked what the scars were from. But then I remembered what had happened. I tried to not to feel bad, but it was hard. I did the same thing to Emily the first time we had sex. They’re things I don’t think about very often…

Aaron rested his hand over mine, forcing me to look up at him. He had a soft, yet sad, smile on his lips. He pressed his hand against mine, pressing both of them to his stomach. His semi-toned stomach was warm against the palm of my hand.

“Sorry,” I looked up at him, my eyes scanning across his face. Aaron furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head. He was careful as he lowered his face back to mine, his lips reconnecting to me. It was so weird to me how soft and gentle he was with his kiss.

“Don’t be sorry,” Aaron whispered as he kept his hand on mine. I looked up at him, enjoying the way he looked back at me. There was a certain appreciation in his eyes that made me happy.

"Where'd Emily go?" I whispered as I kept my eyes on him. He stayed quiet as he looked at me, his silence giving me a clue as to what could happen. In fact, it was telling me what was going to happen. “She’s okay with it?” My voice softened as I spoke.

“She knows. We talked about it. We don’t have to do-”

“No, no I know. I mean, Aaron we made it this far. I want this.” I swallowed roughly after I spoke. Aaron smiled softly before removing his hand from mine and brought it to my face. I smiled as he lowered to my face.

For a brief moment, he moved away from me to take his boxers off. Thank God I wasn’t dead tired yet because this is the best night of my entire life and I didn’t want it to end now. Maybe after he fucked me.

Once he was back on the bed, his lips reconnected with mine. My arms wrapped around his neck, and my hands rested on his back shoulder muscles. Aaron’s arms wrapped around my lower body, holding me up to his body.

“Ready,” his voice was low and gruff as he spoke. I swallowed roughly and nodded. My face was pressed into the nape of his neck. I took a deep breath when the head of his cock pressed against the entrance of my sex.

“Oh,” I whined as he slowly moved so our hips were together. My lungs tightened as he quickly, and gently, bottomed out. We both stayed still for a moment, adjusting to each other.

I carefully wrapped my legs around his waist, and held him against my body. Aaron carefully moved his hips, making me squirm beneath him. His lips stayed on my face, moving along my jaw, over my cheeks, before moving around my neck. I swallowed back the moan as my nails dragged down his back.

Aaron’s pace was slow and steady. He wasn’t painfully slow, because he knew I’d get overstimulated, and I knew he didn’t have very long.

“Please, please,” I cried, my voice whiny as my body tensed. Aaron moved his head away from my neck and looked down at me. Even though his eyes were blown and fueled by lust, there was the sweetest look in them.

“What do you want, Princess? Tell me what you want.” He whispered as he brought a hand to cup my face. My chest heaved with each breath I took. And I jerked my hips to meet his.

“Kiss me,” I whimpered as I stared back at him. Aaron smiled before pressing his lips back to mine. I hummed as I moved a hand to the back of his head.

My whole body tensed just as Aaron’s pace grew sloppy. I knew he was getting close. The room filled with our noises and the sounds of skin hitting skin. Through groans and grunts, Aaron whispered soft things to me.

“You’re doing so… So good, Princess.” He moaned into my ear. I whimpered and nodded slightly.

I couldn’t stop myself from crying out as a familiar feeling grew in my stomach. I wasn’t exactly sure if the familiar feeling was my own oragasm, or Aaron’s. But it felt really good. Aaron’s head dropped to the bed beneath me as he groaned.

I finally took a deep breath for the first time tonight. It was such a deep breath of air that my lungs felt like they were on fire. Although my head was mildly dizzy, it felt equally as clear.

Aaron nearly had to pry my body off his to kneel away from me. I almost didn’t let him. Even though he was literally in me, I still needed someone’s touch on my body.

He fell to the bed beside me. He readjusted so a blanket was over us. I let out a deep sigh as his arms were back around me, pulling me closer to his body. We both turned to face each other, and he pressed his forehead to mine. I really appreciated that he just knew that I wanted to be held and close to another person. I hated that I was so clingy after sex… It’s Emily’s fault, honestly.

“Did you have a good time,” Aaron asked as he kept his voice low. His lips still centimeters away from mine. Our foreheads remained pressed together. And I swear I could just stay in his arms for an eternity. Emily would kill me though if she knew that.

“Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Thank you, Aaron.” I slightly opened my eyes and looked at him. He breathed out a laugh and nodded.

“You’re welcome, Princess.” Aaron smiled before pressing his lips to mine. It didn’t feel like a long time that we were like that, but our moment was cut short by the clearing of someone’s throat.

I peeled away from Aaron first and looked over my shoulder to see Emily. She stood on her side of the bed, looking down at Aaron and I. She had three bottles of water and a couple granola bars in her hands. The way she looked down at us with a joyful look in her eyes. How long had she been standing there watching us?

“Wow, didn’t know you’d replace me that quick.” She smiled at us as she placed the water and snacks on her nightstand. I furrowed my eyebrows as I moved away from Aaron.

“You were the one who left me,” I scoffed as she sat beside me. Emily smiled before pressing her lips gently to mine. “Thank you,” I whispered against her lips.

“Anything for you, Kitten,” she smiled before pressing her lips to mine again, “Now, drink up. You did a lot of strenuous activity. I don’t want you getting any cramps. You too, Aaron,” Emily grabbed two bottles of water and handed them over to Aaron and me. I grumbled quietly as I cracked the lid off my bottle.

“What was that, Kitten?” Emily watched as I sipped my water.

“Mmm, nothing. Thank you for the water, Emily.” I smiled as I held up the water bottle. Emily smirked at me and shook his head.

“That’s what I thought. Now, hurry up. I want to cuddle,” she sighed deeply as she looked between me and Aaron. I looked over at Aaron with a raised eyebrow.

“Jeez, didn’t know you could be so needy,” Aaron spoke into his water bottle. I tried not to sputter my water, but failed miserably.

“I swear to God, you two are children,” Emily scoffed and shook her head. I looked back at her with a smile.

“Yeah, but you love us… Well me anyway.” I went up to her to kiss her. She glared at me as she took my water bottle. I smiled as I shimmied down the bed, pulling the blanket over my body. Emily looked down at me before moving closer to me to cuddle.

My body instantly clung to Emily's. Her arms were wrapped around my body, holding me as close as she could. Aaron was quick to put his bottle down and wrap his arms around me. I could tell it would be a fight to the death for cuddles. I couldn’t stop the smug smile that grew across my lips.

"Can we do this more often?" I murmured into Emily's skin. She laughed and nodded.

"Of course we can. But I think that's a question for Aaron, Kitten," Emily spoke softly as her hand brushed down the back of my head. I hummed, not really wanting to turn to ask him. I could feel Aaron breathe out a laugh as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

I looked up at him, the smugness in my smile turning shy. Aaron looked down at me, his smile warm and friendly. I sighed deeply as I stared at him.

“Yes, Princess,” Aaron spoke as he lifted a hand to rest gently on my face. I wasn’t sure if he was answering my question or asking me. So I just stayed quiet. “We can do this as often as you’d like.”

if you want to be a part of a taglst or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here

#shadow posts stuff #shadow writes stuff #masterlist #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss fanfic #emily prentiss fan fic #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss fan fiction #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fan fic #hotchniss #aaron hotchner x reader x emily prentiss

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sequinsmile-x · 3 years

Note

can i request a one shot of pregnant emily and jack? all of your work gives me so much comfort thank you <3

Thank you so much!! <3

I love this idea!

Set in my Full House universe.

The Bet

Words: 1.7k Warnings: The tiniest bit of spice. So fluffy your teeth might fall out

Aaron was a surprise. There had always been something there simmering under the surface. Heated exchanges that she always felt in another lifetime would have ended up with her pressed against his office door, one of his hands over her mouth with the other down her pants.

When she came back from Paris things were different. She felt like half a person, but she put double the amount of effort in with everyone. Trying desperately to prove that she was ok, that she was Emily, and not Lauren, someone that they could trust. Aaron was the only one who saw through it, or at least he was the only one who said something. The one who offered her a safe space on bad days.

And there were so many bad days at first. Days when it felt like she would never be ok again. Things changed when they were away for a case. A small, nameless town in the middle of nowhere. Her nightmares were so vivid, so terrifying, that the phantom pain of the stake through her abdomen burned. She found herself in the 24 hour bar of the hotel they were staying in, a tequila in hand, unable to find solace in anything.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Aaron was next to her. A glass in his own hand as he asked her if the seat next to her was free, despite the rest of the bar being empty. She found out months later, when they were curled together in her bed, that he had nightmares that night too. The memory of Foyet’s knife in his chest too much to bear.

After that they spent more of their spare time together than apart. She went to his place on the weekends they were in town, spending time with him and Jack at zoos and museums. Helping the young boy with pronunciations as he read out the plaques on the exhibits. After Jack was in bed her and Aaron would talk about everything and nothing. She felt safe with him. Something she hadn’t felt since Ian had first returned to her life.

Emily kissed him first. Emboldened by one too many drinks on a night out with the team, his chivalry in getting her home, walking her to her door, making something bloom in her chest. He kissed her back. His hands gently framed her face, holding her like she was the most precious thing on the planet.

They’d been together ever since.

Emily found out she was pregnant days before the case at the bank. She hadn’t told Aaron yet, and it was only when she was kneeling in front of Will, a bomb strapped to his chest, that her fear about telling him seemed pointless. She told him as soon as she could, their embrace and the kiss he gave her when she made it out giving away their relationship to the team.

She laughed when Clyde offered her a job, the prospect of leaving only seeming appealing for a second. The life she had found in the ruins of her old one was somehow better, something she didn’t know she wanted until she had it.

_________

By the time she is 34 weeks pregnant she is living with Aaron and Jack in their apartment, the dotted line on the legal documents for their new house signed and a move in date, after her due date, agreed.

She’s too pregnant to fly so she’s staying behind on cases, spending her days in Penelope’s office and her nights at home with Jack. She’s grateful for her time with her fiance’s son, time to solidify their relationship before her daughter arrived.

“Emily?”

She turns to him, both of them sitting on the couch, Jack leaning on her as they watch cartoons together.

“Yes, honey?”

“What will happen when the baby comes?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowed in a way that reminded her of Aaron.

“She’ll be really small.” Emily says, smiling at him. “Remember that me and Daddy explained she’d need a lot of attention at first?” She waits for him to nod before she continues. “She’ll cry a lot, because it’s the only way she’ll know how to speak to us.”

“Will you love her more than me?”

The question surprises her, knocking the breath from her lungs. “Jack, of course not. What makes you think that?”

“Adam.” He replies, looking down at his hands in his lap. Emily feels her body tense at the mention of the boy from Jack’s school, her temper flaring. “He said because you aren’t my real mommy you’ll love the baby more.”

“Oh sweetheart.” She cups his cheek, tilting his head to look at her. “That isn’t true. I love you just as much as I love her, ok? I promise.”

Jack nods, but he still looks sad, something sparkling in his eyes that makes her heart ache. Emily runs a hand through his hair and smiles when he puts his hand back on her bump.

They’d decided on a name almost as soon as they found out they were having a girl, but they’d kept it quiet. A secret just between her and Aaron that no one else knew. Partially because she got a kick out of all the incorrect guesses the team would come up with, the money in the betting pool now absurdly high, but mostly just in case they changed their mind when she was born. A slight chance she might not suit what they had picked out when they saw her for the first time.

Jack was sweet, but terrible at keeping secrets. He was the one who told the team she was pregnant before they’d had the chance to. The two hours they had told him ahead of everyone else was still enough to let the little boy excitedly tell Penelope, of all people, that he was going to be a big brother.

She decides in a moment it doesn’t matter if Jack accidentally told everyone. She’d do anything to cheer him up.

“Do you want to know her name?” She asks, and he immediately beams at her.

“She has a name already?!”

“Of course she does!” She says as she ruffles his hair. “Me and Daddy picked it.”

“What is it?” Jack asks, the smile on his face so wide her heart aches with love for him, this little boy with his mother’s hair and his father’s smile.

“We’re going to call her Ivy.” Emily replies, a nervous feeling bubbling in her stomach as she says the name outloud to someone who isn’t her fiance for the first time. A slightly ridiculous concern forming that Jack wouldn't like it.

Her concerns are gone in a moment when his eyes widen in delight, his smile impossibly bigger.

“That’s so pretty!” He exclaims, putting his hand back on Emily’s bump. “Hi Ivy. I’m Jack.”

It takes every bit of Emily’s self control not to burst into tears.

_________

Ivy is born a month early. Her entrance to the world was terrifying, scaring Aaron and Emily in equal measure. Aaron is able to hold off the team whilst they were in the hospital, pushing back their first visit with the new addition to the Hotchner family until they were home.

It’s how Aaron and Emily find themselves in their apartment, Jack sitting next to Emily on the couch, as Ivy was passed around.

“You’ve got to tell us what she’s called.” Penelope says as she gazes down to the baby in her arms, swatting Derek’s hand away as he tries to pull Ivy out of her arms. “We’ve waited long enough.”

“You mean you want to know who won the bet?” Emily says, an eyebrow raised as she pulls Jack closer to her, the little boy slightly clingier with her in the days since his little sister had been born.

“Whatever. Spill.” Penelope replies, looking up at her friend.

Emily smiles at Aaron and nods at him, giving permission to spill their best kept secret.

“Her name is Ivy Hotchner.”

They expected something. An exclamation of some kind from their group of friends, but there was nothing. A deafening silence.

“Wait, someone had that.” Derek says, a confused look on his face

“I did!” Jack exclaims.

“Jack did.” Spencer says, looking over to the little boy in question. “He guessed Ivy.”

Emily laughs and it makes her wince, her entire body still sore from giving birth.

“Jack didn’t guess, he knew.” She exclaims through her laughter. “He’s known for a couple of weeks.”

Suddenly it makes sense, how the little boy's inability to keep a secret had come to an end. The team still unaware of the name planned for her daughter despite her prodding, sure that Jack would have accidentally let them know.

“I think we just got scammed.” JJ says, a laugh escaping as she takes Ivy from Penelope’s arms, ignoring the pout on the other woman’s face.

Aaron stares at his son and his fiancee, a shocked look on his face that makes Emily laugh a little harder.

“I seem to remember Jack being a lot more innocent before you moved in, Princess.” Derek grumbles as he gets out his wallet, ready to dig out Jack’s winnings.

_________

Aaron walks into their bedroom, gently closing the door behind him once he sees Ivy asleep against Emily, the little girl milk drunk from her latest feeding.

“I cannot believe he scammed the team out of over $200.” Aaron says as he climbs into bed next to her, a smile on his face as he places a hand on Ivy’s head, soothing his fingers over her dark hair.

“I can’t believe they fell for it.” Emily replies. “He doesn’t exactly have a good poker face.”

“He told me what he wants to spend the money on.” He says, looking at Emily with so much love in his eyes it made love well in her chest, so much affection for him she didn’t know what to do with it. She hums in response, looking up from the baby to him. “He said he wants to buy Ivy something.”

Emily thinks she falls in love with him all over again when he ignores the way she immediately bursts into tears.

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfic #hotchniss mini fic #aaron x emily #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #some fluff #domestic fluff #AU #this mini fic is sponsered by 2/3 of a bottle of Chablis #and chicken nuggets

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fanficbitch · 3 years

Text

In Another Life // Route 66

Aaron Hotchner x y/n

August 2013

Things at the house have been a little chaotic this morning. Aaron’s alarm didn’t go off, but he naturally wakes up early so that got us going. We’re currently all in the kitchen, Aaron making us cups of coffee, Jack making breakfast and me stuffing Jack’s lunchbox with whatever I can find.

“It’s just too late,” Aaron mumbles under his breath. “Honey, can you take Jack to school? I figure if one of us is late it’s better if it’s you.”

“Yeah, make me look bad in front of the team,” I say as I shove Jack’s lunch in his backpack.

“I don’t think the boss will be too mad,” he says.

“Good thing I’m sleeping with him,” I smirk at him. Aaron shoots me a smirk back. “But yes, I will take Jack.”

“Okay. I love you. I’ll see you at work,” he says and goes in for a kiss but misses mouth and grazes about a third of lips.

“See you at work,” I say then usher Jack out of the house.

“Mama?” Jack asks once we get into the car.

“Yes buddy?”

“Will you and Dad be home for dinner?” he asks and my heart breaks a little.

“Uh, I don’t know bud. We might have a case,” I say as I look back in my rearview mirror. Jack lets out a little huff then turns towards the window.

“There is always a case,” he murmurs. I’m a little caught off guard because Jack usually understands that Aaron and I have to go on these trips. He has been used to Aaron doing it his whole life.

“Jack, is there something you want to talk about?” I ask carefully.

“Dad promised he would come to my play last night and he didn’t come,” Jack says.

“But Jess and I came!” I point out.

“But Dad didn’t.”

“Dad just has to work harder than the rest of our team because he’s the boss,” I say. “But Daddy comes to lots of your things. He’s your soccer coach!”

“You guys are just gone a lot,” he whispers.

“I know we are and I’m sorry,” I say, but Jack remains quiet. “You just need to know that your Dad and I love you more than anything.”

My words get me a small smile from Jack. “Even more than ice cream?”

“Yes, baby even more than ice cream,” I say as we pull up at his school.

“Okay, I love you too,” Jack says.

“Have fun at school!” I yell as he hops out of the car.

I begin my drive to the BAU. I kinda figured this problem might come up someday, but not this early. Jack deserves more. He deserves parents that are there for him. I don’t blame Aaron at all. He’s doing his best. But sometimes, a kid just needs their dad.

As I pull up to my building there is an ambulance leaving. I park my car and leave with my cup of coffee my boyfriend prepared. To my surprise, I find JJ, Morgan and Reid standing at the entrance. “What’s going on?” I ask as I approach them. They all have terrified looks on their face. “Oh no, who is hurt?” I ask because I just assume.

JJ stares at me but doesn’t say anything. “JJ, what is going on?” I ask, but she can’t say anything.

“It’s Hotch,” Morgan finally says.

“W-What are you talking about?” I get out.

Morgan takes both my arms, holding me up straight. “He passed out during the briefing.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, not fully understanding what is going on.

“Hotch is on his way to the hospital in that ambulance. Rossi went with him,” Morgan says and I nearly collapse. Morgan’s grip on me keeps me standing.

“What happened?” I ask urgently.

“We don’t know,” Morgan says. “Let me drive you to the hospital.”

I move the next few hours in a trance. Morgan drops me off at the hospital and they tell me that Aaron is suffering from internal bleeding. Probably from his battle with Foyet.

Morgan is forced to leave me, but I rock back and forth in my chair in the waiting room. I can’t possibly sit still when there is so much at risk. Aaron is my everything, even his dependents are my everything.

Rossi sits next to me with his hand on my back. “Y/N,” he says softly. “I need to get to the case.”

I continue to rock despite the words. “Are you going to be okay?” Rossi asks, but I continue rocking. “Y/N?” he gets out.

I finally snap out of my rocking fit and sit still. “Yes, I hear you,” I tell him.

“Are you going to be okay?” he asks again.

“I’ll be okay enough,” I say. Rossi gives me an unsure expression. “It’s fine, Rossi, you can go.”

“I don’t want to leave you here alone,” he whispers.

“I’m okay,” I tell him. “I promise.”

Rossi squeezes my hand then let’s go to leave. I don’t blame him. There is a job to be done. A job that I should be working on. But there is no way I can work on it like this.

After a few hours, I go up to a nurse and ask where Aaron Hotchner is. “He’s in room 402,” the nurse finally says.

I go up the few floors to get to his room. When I get to him, my heart lifts. I was expecting Aaron to be dead, but according to his heart monitor he is still very much alive.

I sit down in a chair next to his bed and hold my breath. What am I going to do? With Jack? With this baby? I can’t do any of this without Aaron. I scoot the chair closer to his bed so I can hold his hand. “Hey honey,” I whisper with a laugh. “It feels ridiculous talking to you like this, but I have to. You have to fight. You have to stay alive for Jack and for our baby. Please Aaron,” I beg as I hold his hand to my head.

I wish for everything in my body to go to making Aaron better again. I know better than to trust prayers, but I feel like it is worth a shot.

I whisper and plead silently as I hold his hand. Before long, Aaron opens his eyes. It takes him a moment to adjust, but he realizes where he is. “What happened?” he asks.

“Well, you had an internal bleed from your fight with Foyet,” I say.

“After all this time?” he asks.

“Yes, after all this time,” I confirm.

He sits silently for a moment, adjusting in his bed. “How are you?” Aaron finally asks.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say quickly and wipe the tears from my eyes.

“Yes, it does,” he says. “How are you?”

“I-I’m fine,” I stutter. He looks at me a long time before responding.

“No you’re not,” he whispers.

“How do you know?” I ask.

“Because I know you,” he tells me. “And I know you can’t hide secrets.”

I let out a chuckle. “You know me too well,” I smile at him. “I’m just worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” he says without really knowing anything. “At least, I feel fine.”

“Well, I’m going to have the doctors check you to be sure,” I tell him.

“Where is Jack?”

“He’s at school. I didn’t want to bother him unless you were awake,” I say.

“Well bother him,” Aaron retorts back. I get out my phone and text Jess all the news, good and bad.

“I promise you, he will be coming when he can,” I tell Aaron. He smiles at me and I feel whole again.

“C’mere,” he whispers. I do the best I can to sit on the edge of his bed. There is no way you could fit me and Aaron in a twin bed right now. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” I whisper back. “Just please don’t try and die on me again.”

“I’m not trying too,” he reassures me. “But…” he says and trails off.

“But what?” I ask.

“I had a dream,” Aaron says.

“What kind of dream?” I ask.

“Haley was there, and so was Foyet. We were watching a movie of my life and you were in it,” Aaron says slowly. “Haley told me to stay with you because you were good for me and Jack.”

I sit silently and hold Aaron’s hand. “What else happened?”

“She was bleeding, but I couldn’t stop it. But then it was suddenly gone and I couldn’t control it,” he says.

“What happened next?” I ask.

“She was gone,” Aaron says. I can tell that he is longing for Haley. I can’t really blame him.

“Do you want to talk about it more?” I ask.

“No, no,” he reassures me.

“Because it’s okay if you do. I’d be more than happy to talk about Haley,” I say as I lean against his leg.

“No, it’s okay,” he says slowly. “She just told me that I should be happy with you and that you’re good for Jack.”

Those words make my heart warm. “That means a lot,” I tell him. “There is something I want to talk to you about though,” I say and he crinkles his eyebrows together. “I think after I have the baby I’m going to take some time away from the BAU.”

“Why?” Aaron asks quietly.

“Well, Jack and I were talking this morning and he was upset because we are always gone-,”

“Jack understands that we have to travel for work,” Aaron says, interrupting me.

“I thought so too, but then today he was so sad and says we are gone a lot, which is true,” I say. “I just don’t want Jack to grow up and look back on his childhood and think we were never there for him. I understand that you can’t leave work, but I’m not as needed as you are.”

“But the team needs you,” Aaron says.

“I think Jack and this baby need me more. I want to focus on being a mom for a little bit. Then I’ll get back to chasing bad guys.”

Aaron smiles and squeezes my hand. “I think that is very noble of you. I’m glad our kids have such a great mom.”

The door to the room swings open to reveal Jack and Jess carrying a bouquet of balloons. “Dad!” Jack shouts and jumps onto the bed. I immediately want to tell him to be careful with Aaron, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. “Are you okay?”

“I am now,” Aaron says as he hugs Jack with arm and his other hand finds mine and gives it a squeeze.

Jack turns to me. “Will you be home for dinner tonight now?” Jack asks. Aaron has a confused expression on his face.

“Dad might have to stay here for a few days,” I say and Jack’s expression saddens. “But, we could all eat in here.”

“Yes please!” Jack shouts.

“Sounds like a plan,” I tell him.

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

DIWK - Chapter ten: "Set me free my honey bee"

Word count: 11,6K

Summary: Let's jump 19 months in time and see how painful it has turned for reader and Spencer to hide their feelings for each other. JJ leaves the team, and a new member joins the BAU.

Warnings: Angst and hurt. Fools being assholes. Cursing, of course. Mention of CM cases and spoilers on S06E11.

A/N: Please don't hate me. Just remember things usually look like the shit before they get worst, and then everything is better. I hope.

Masterlist

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(Y/N)'s point of view

Time is a weird thing. I remember when I was in school and time didn't pass fast enough. Semesters were eternal. It felt it had been years by the time summer vacation arrived. The complete opposite happened to me at the BAU. Suddenly, time passed too quickly. A whole year and a half went by in the blink of an eye.

I told Spencer about it, and he sent me a paper published by Professor Adrian Bejan that presented an argument based on the physics of neural signal processing. He hypothesizes that, over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time 'speed up' as we grow older.

My answer was that I thought it happened 'cos as we grew older, we did things that actually gave us joy, which made us feel the time was passing faster than before. So we argued a whole Saturday afternoon about it and created our own theories for that event.

My theory was my personal favorite, 'cos it was the only one that could easily explain why so much time had passed in the BAU, and it felt like it had been just a few weeks.

It hadn't been easy, though. Those nineteen months had been filled with some of the worst situations we had been through as a team.

After I got shot, JJ finally admitted her relationship with Will and got pregnant. That was shocking, the first BAU baby: Henry.

Sadly, Henry was the only little good thing that happened that year. Because to sum it up, a bunch of awful shit happened to all of us: Hotch was in a car explosion that almost killed him. Spencer and Prentiss got trapped in an undercover mission into an underground cult to investigate child abuse, and Emily was beaten up pretty badly. Also, Spencer got infected with anthrax and nearly died. That was probably the most agonizing moment I had lived since the whole Tobias Hankel situation two years earlier.

Also, that year Prentiss had to investigate the case of the death of one of her best friends, and I was in a pretty nasty fight with an unsub that got me out of the field for three weeks. Not to mention, Spencer was shot in the leg.

Hotch was stabbed by the only unsub that has actually won against the BAU: Foyet. He attacked Aaron and got on the lose for months, but we all knew his next move as torture Hotch's family. That's why his ex-wife Haley and his little son Jack had to go into protective custody, and he couldn't see them for months while we tried to catch Foyet.

Things didn't go as planned. And without a doubt, the worst moment that year was the day Haley died. Foyet killed her, and Aaron lost it. He literally killed him with his bare hands the moment he got him. For a solid week, I was sure Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be the unit chief anymore. Strauss actually opened an investigation related to everything that happened that day. But in the end, somehow, she understood the "bloodbath" that had happened in that house was all in Foyet's hands.

However, there's no way to deny that the whole team had changed in many ways after that year. The concept of being a family was now more present than ever. After chasing Foyet for months, we were all onto him as if he was chasing our own family, because he was.

You don't work this kind of job with a team like mine and don't get attached to them. And this goes beyond how in love I was with Spencer. The (Y/N) who first stepped into the BAU, scared to show her true self, was long gone. And despite my deepest fears, letting them in and showing them who I really was had been one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.

Do you want to know which was my stupidest decision? Falling in love with Spencer Reid. It hadn't actually been my choice. I just didn't fight the feeling either. I don't think I could have even if I tried, though. Those nineteen months brought us so close, my mom thought we were living together, and the teasing from our friends was so common we weren't even affected by it.

For Christ Sakes, even Strauss thought we were dating! She forced us to attend a seminar on fraternization, concerned after she realized we always took our vacation together. We had a lot of fun trips, though. First, we visited his mom and had an amazing weekend in Las Vegas. Then we took a few days off after the anthrax incident and went to Hawaii. Picture Spencer Reid in an "all-inclusive," drinking all the coffee and eating all the pastries possible while reading a million books underneath an extra-large umbrella. We had fun that week, did some local touring, but most of all, sleeping in and relaxing. Spencer hates the beach but got those tickets anyway.

Did everybody think we were a couple? Yes

Did it help that we shared rooms, 'cos we were already used to it? No

Did it feel like a honeymoon without sex? Yes

Could I stop thinking about sex with Spencer? No.

And all that led us to the nightmare our relationship was going to become.

Penelope Garcia was drunk. She kept pouring shots and pushing them to us. Emily was wasted as well. But she kept acting like the classy lady she is. Not like JJ. My poor baby had mascara smeared under her eyes after crying for like an hour.

We found out she was leaving the team, and it was a hard blow on us. And by hard, I mean the worst thing that had ever happened to us. We had suffered without JJ when she was on maternity leave. And we struggled without her. Now knowing the Pentagon had taken her away from the BAU was torture.

We had a goodbye party for her at Rossi's, but this was our goodbye girl's night, and neither of us was holding anything back.

We had cried, we had sung sad songs. We drank all the champagne, wine, and vodka we could find. And now, holding our tequila shots, we knew it was time to call it a night.

- "I just love you girls so much,"- JJ whispered, crying- I don't wanna work without you.

- "Boo, come here!!"- I opened my arms and wrapped them around my friend, kissing the top of her hair a few times- "I love you too, and you are going to come back so soon you won't have time to miss us. You'll see. Papa Rossi and Dada Hotch are gonna fix everything."

I was drunk. Seriously drunk. But that wasn't the reason why I was so sweet with JJ. The truth is, I was broken-hearted. Like Penelope and Reid, I didn't manage change very well, and the fact that JJ was forced to leave made me feel frustrated and mad. But most of all, it made me think of every time I had been a little bitch with her during the years. And I regretted each one of them.

- "And we won't be far!"- Emily added and caressed JJ's arm, smiling kindly- "You will still be in town, and we will not leave you alone"- JJ chuckled and nodded.

- "I know, girls. Shit, I love you all so much!"

- "We love you too!"- Penelope sobbed and moved closer, wrapping the three of us in her arms.

- "Please, take care!"- JJ wiped off the tears from her eyes and looked at us- "Emily, don't do anything stupid! Don't rush in the field, and please don't take your fucking vest off!!"

- "I won't! I promise!"

- "You have to live to be Unit chief one day!"- JJ added, and Prentiss widened her eyes, shocked.

- "That's not really my gold."

- "But you'd be queen, baby!!"- Jareau added and turned to Penelope- "And you, please make sure Hotch eats. I kept a stack of granola bars on my desk to keep him fueled during the day. He usually forgets lunchtime and skips dinner, so..."

- "Don't worry, JJ,"- Penelope nodded, and we all felt our heartbreak a little thinking about all the things JJ did in her daily basics to take care of the team, and we didn't even know.

- "How are we going to survive without you?"- I mumbled, pouting. JJ chuckled and held my hand.

- "You are a rock, and you will do a fantastic job keeping this team together. Just, please, can you and Spencer start dating now?"

I wide opened my eyes and stared at JJ. The comment surprised me. I shouldn't, 'cos the whole "you and Spencer should start dating" joke was getting old. Only this time, JJ wasn't joking. She held both my hands and looked right into my eyes.

- "(Y/N), he loves you"- I was about to argue with her, but she covered my mouth with her Cheetos smelling hand.

- "Don't say a word! Spencer loves you so much you really must be blind not to see it. And I know you love him too. It's implied in all the little things you do for him every day. So don't take it for granted. Don't think this will last forever 'cos look at me! A week ago, I was happily working at the BAU, and now I'm drinking at my goodbye party! So don't waste any more time! You are in love with Spencer, and he loves you! It doesn't take a profiler to see it. So please! Act on it!"

There was a dramatic silence after. I didn't know how to break it. I could just joke around, but somehow, it didn't feel right. It had been too quiet for too long, and that made everything harder to deny. Finally, Emily put her hand on mine, just like JJ was still doing, and smiled at me.

- "There's nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/N). You are not the first person to fall for her best friend."

- "And the Junior G Man loves you so much,"- Penelope added, landing her hand on our hands too.

- "As his friend"- I corrected and sighed. I guess that was it. After three years, I could probably start facing my feelings in front of my friends.

- "No, (Y/N)"- Garcia tried to argue, but I shook my head and stood up, 'cos all that sudden attention and affection was bothering me.

- "PG, I was in Hawaii with the man, sharing a room, walking around in a bikini, and he didn't do anything."

- "That's because he is shy!"- Emily excused him right away.

- "My bikini leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. Do you know what he said when he first saw me on it?"- I looked at my friend and poured us another round of tequila- "And I quote, "I don't think I brought enough books. This one is too interesting."

I air quoted with my fingers as we spoke, and the three of them looked at me, speechless. I made my point and drank my shot, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. My friends opened their mouths but didn't produce a word. I sighed and looked at them.

- "But he hates the beach, and he took you there anyway,"- Emily pointed out

- "Did he give you his speech about how he hates sandy food?"- JJ asked me, and I chuckled, nodding.

- "And about pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, and of course, the real reason he hates the beach: drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces."

- "And the man took you to the beach!"- Penelope argued.

- "But he didn't do anything! he didn't make his move, didn't even hold my hand!!"- I nearly shouted- "That's why, among a lot of reasons, is how I know Spencer is not interested in me! If only I'd tell you all the shit we've been through!"

- "Please!! Tell us!!"- Garcia begged and grabbed one of my legs- "I won't live another day 'cos I won't be able to deal with the mystery!"

- "No! 'cos you are gonna tell Morgan"- I slurred- "And he is going to embarrass and tease my honey bunny, and my honey bunny is gonna get all nervous and nervous around me, and we are never going to..."- I stopped talking and looked at my friends. I was sharing too much.

- "(Y/N)?"- Prentiss looked at me, but I just shook my head and looked down.

- "I think I better go home."

- "No, you can't drive like this,"- JJ argued immediately and held my hand- "I'm not gonna let you go intoxicated. Will is gonna come pick me up, and we'll drop you in your place."

I nodded at her and stayed still. My friends smiled at me, and slowly very slowly, I leaned on JJ's shoulder and rested my head on it.

- "I love you, boo,"- I whispered, and she giggled- "I don't think I'll stay sane without you there with us anymore."

- "Hotch is gonna manage to get her back,"- Penelope assured me, and I just nodded.

- "Meanwhile, we won't replace you, and if anyone tries to push someone new into the team, we are not gonna take them,"- I added, feeling JJ's hand holding mine.

- "Don't be mean with people just 'cos you miss me. If there's a new teammate, it won't be their fault I was pushed out of the BAU."

- "But, JJ,"- I tried to argue, but she shook her head right away.

- "No, (Y/N). You can't be mean to people just because."

Clearly, my friend hoped I could be the better person. The simple question was: did I want to be the better person? Right there, drunk and sad, the answer was no.

Spencer's point of view

I kept finding myself awake at four in the morning, walking around my apartment, not able to read or to write anything. For the last months, at least twice or three times each week, I would stay awake, no matter how tired I felt, and I would haunt my own apartment, listening to my vinyl records.

The sudden lack of sleep wasn't really something weird in me. I have always been nocturnal. Besides, the news of JJ's departure had hit us all pretty hard. I had already shared my share of tears and tried to manage the fury that caused me to know we were helpless to the government's decisions. There was nothing we could do, neither us, Hotch, or even Strauss. Not that she would if she could.

My family was in crisis, and all we could do was hope for the best and stay together.

It was scary losing JJ. It made me think of all the things that could go wrong every day on the field daily. It was bad that we could get hurt or even die on our work. But that they divided us that way made no sense. Like Rossi said: our loss was someone else's winning, and in the FBI, no one cared if we lost.

I poured myself a cup of herbal tea and inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like home. Like (Y/N). She had some of her favorite teas in my apartment. She had a bunch of all her things there, actually. When mom visited, she thought we were living together. She is still sure we are dating and that I don't wanna tell her. I don't longer argue with her about it. It's useless, and it somehow feels good to imagine in another world. It was actually true.

That year my feelings for my best friend had grown in a way that made it all more difficult to deal with. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her. She was in everything I did, in each and every one of my thoughts. I could hear her laughter in my head, like a record playing my favorite song over and over again.

When she was out there in the field, I couldn't stop running all the probabilities of her getting hurt, and most of the time, I would do my best to keep her safe, knowing it could somehow interfere with the case.

Hotch had called me to his office a few times, aware something was going with me. He could read it on my face, I guess. It was scary to know everybody could read my feelings for (Y/N) but her. And it was sad to think of the worst: that she knew how much I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, and she was just being my friend 'cos she was never going to be anything else but my friend.

I drank my tea and hummed the song that sounded in my house at four in the morning: Love is a losing game. Seemed pretty accurate for my mood. I remember the day I got that vinyl. We were out with (Y/N), Frank, and Lu, looking for a present for Mikey's birthday, and we ended up in a record store, getting a million vinyl records for ourselves.

- "Are you getting all those?"- (Y/N) asked me and looked at the seven albums in my hand.

- "Yes, why? I can't?"- I answered and raised an eyebrow.

- "Sassy!"- she giggled and grabbed them- "You can get all the albums you want. But I have to give my approval first. No, you are not getting this!"- she grabbed The Beatles' Revolver and left it aside.

- "What? Why? It's only one I need to complete my collection."

- "I know, but when you get it, you'll force me to listen to it, and I don't like the Beatles,"- she argued, and I just shook my head, taking the album again.

- "Sorry, chipmunk, I'm buying it."

- "Fine. I won't go to your house for the next couple of weeks then."

- "Why don't you tell me which album you wanna listen to when you are in my house then?"- I looked at her, smiling at me and looking for a record on the shelves.

- "This! You need some Amy in your life."

And I did. Now, at four in the morning, all alone walking around, I could see her in my apartment, singing along to her favorite songs while cooking dinner, feeling at home. I wished she was there, with me, doing nothing. Watching tv, or reading. Just hanging out. I knew it wasn't healthy being in love with my friend, seeing her every day, and also hanging out with her every chance I got. But even when I knew she was never going to love me the way I did, I was going to take every chance I had to enjoy her company. If that was all I was going to get.

My phone took me from my thoughts, and I quickly walked to my room to get it. I thought it was Hotch announcing a case, but it was JJ.

- "Hey! JJ, everything ok? Is Henry ok?"

- "Yes, hi Spence. We are all ok."

- "It's four in the morning."

- "Sorry I woke you up... I just..." - she made a pause and sighed at the other side of the line- "Spencer, you know I love you."

- "I love you too. You are one of my best friends. Is everything ok?"

- "Yes, I just wanted to... remember a bunch of years ago, when you asked me to that football game?"

A million years had passed since the one and only time I had asked JJ out. It was the only move I tried to do on her, and I failed incredibly. It was awkward, and she had no idea it was a date, so she invited Garcia to come along. I was so embarrassed I never even mentioned that single event ever again, and our friendship grew after.

- "Yes, I remember, JJ. Why?"

- "When you asked me out, did you have a crush on me?"

- "JJ, are you drunk?"- I had to ask 'cos that conversation was starting to scare me.

- "Yes, but that's not why I'm talking about this. Just answer the questions, Spence. When you asked me out on that date, did you have a crush on me?"

- "Yes, I did."

I closed my eyes, embarrassed to face feelings that were far forgotten.

- "You see, I had a crush on you too back then,"- JJ said and chuckled- "But neither of us acted on it, and life continued, and now I'm in love with Will, and we have a baby, and you are his godfather."

Of all the things I thought I would listen to that day, never in a million years, I imagined I would hear JJ drunk telling me she had a crush on me when we first met.

- "Now, do you want that to happen again?"- she asked, and I didn't get it, 'cos I was still trying to process what I had just heard. So I might have had a relationship with her if only I had said something, act on it. Kiss her, ask her out again?

- "What?"

- "Spence. Do you want to miss the chance to be with the girl you like?"

- "No, but JJ, what are you talking about?"

She sighed, frustrated, and used that tone of voice with me, that very maternal specific tone of voice she used to explain things she knew were hard for me to follow.

- "When you like someone, Spence, you have to tell her. 'Cos sometimes, life gets in the way, and if you don't do what you have to do to be happy, no one will do it for you."

- "Are you ok, JJ?"

- "Yes, Spence, I'm ok. I'm home with Will. We just got here after dropping (Y/N) off her place."

- "How was she?"

- "She might have had a few too many drinks, but she'll be ok in the morning. Maybe she'd appreciate it if you brought her coffee and donuts."

- "She doesn't like donuts,"- I corrected her- "She likes cupcakes and brownies."

- "Sorry. Coffee and cupcakes... just tell her you love her, Spence. She deserves to know."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. I didn't get why JJ was telling me that, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it. So I said good night and hung up.

What was the point of telling me we could have been a couple of years had passed already? Why didn't she say a thing before? Or even better, why didn't she ever say a word about it at all? So I missed the chance to be happy with her. Great. One more regret to add to my list.

I laid on my bed and tried to remember that date. I was so nervous that day, my hands shook inside my pockets as I walked to JJ's door. She looked beautiful that day, especially when she looked at me and announced she had invited Penelope to join us.

That was when I realized she would never see me as a proper date, just like a friend. And I learned to make my peace with that over the years. My crush for JJ lasted a few more months, but it vanished when I fell for (Y/N). What if she had never joined the team? Would I have been in love with JJ forever? Jeniffer always made me feel like her little brother, and I guess that's the mechanic that works for us. We were good friends ever since we met, and yes, I had a crush on her, but we work more like siblings than anything else.

What was the point in telling me I had missed a chance with her now? I just couldn't see it.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The next few weeks were us trying to survive without JJ. The team was making the best it could, but it was hard. Penelope took the lead during the second case without JJ. She turned into our tech analyst and communication liaison, only to collapse under the pressure of having two roles.

No one was going to replace JJ. We all knew it. Literally, no one, 'cos Hotch decided he and Garcia were going to split the job, and we were all going to collaborate as much as we could, 'cos we were a team. A family. And that's what families do.

And families were the target of the unsub we were hunting the day everything changed. Again. I hadn't recovered from the departure of JJ when Rossi and Hotch walked to the bullpen and introduced us to Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver.

My nemesis.

- "Agent trainee Seaver"- Rossi smiled at her like a proud father and looked at us as we stood up, wondering who she was- "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, (Y/L/N), and Morgan."

- "I've heard so much about the three of you,"- she said with the sweetest tone of voice I had ever heard. Something about that felt odd.

- "I hope it is all good- Morgan flirted right away, of course."

- "Very, sir."

- "Anything specific? I mean about me in particular?"- I turned to him and failed in holding back my chuckles.

- "Please, don't encourage him, or he will never stop talking,"- I said, and Derek elbowed me playfully. Seaver smiled at us and even blushed a little bit. She was nervous.

- "Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she is remedial training with an injury."

Hotch announced. And my stomach tightened right away. There was something wrong with that whole scene. I could feel it in my guts. But I didn't know why?

- "Concussion. Hand to hand got a little out of control."- Seaver explained and kept a silly smile on her face.

- "How's the other guy?"- Prentiss asked.

- "Don't ask."

- "I was remediated in the academy also,"- Spencer said, walking over us, and suddenly I understood why I had a bad feeling about everything.

- "Agent Seaver, Dr. Reid."

As soon as I heard Rossi say those words, there was a part of me who just wanted to hold Spencer's hand and push him away from her, even before they could say hi. She looked at him like he was eye candy, and I clenched my knuckles as I stared at the scene.

- "Uhm... What was your issue?"- she asked him, and I could see the pink on her cheek intensifying as he looked at her, confused.

- "What was my issue? Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's alley. You know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."

Seaver stared at him and kept nodding, though I wondered if she was listening to what he had said. Spencer looked exceedingly handsome that day. His hair was very short for the first time in years, and he still had no idea how to comb it, so it was all over the place, making him look as hot as fuck.

I was so in love with him, I didn't know what to do with those feelings at all. It was hard working with Reid at that point. I just wanted to kiss him.

- "Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico,"- Aaron announced, and I couldn't help but question him right away.

- "She is?"

- "As a consultant."- he assured me.

- "On?"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at Hotch, wondering what a trainee agent could help us with as a consultant.

- "She has a unique perspective,"- Rossi tried to explain, but it sounded like bullshit.

- "They don't know?"- Seaver turned to the elderly agents, and they shook their heads.

- "Well, we weren't sure how you wanted to,"- David whispered.

- "Uh... Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp"- Ashley was supposed to explain the circumstances of her consultancy to the whole team, but she just looked at Spencer as she spoke.

- "As in the Redmond ripper, Charles Beauchamp?"- he asked her, and suddenly, it clicked. It was like my whole body was telling me I couldn't be close to her for a reason.

- "That's him,"- she whispered and kept her eyes on my best friend as he continued talking.

- "He killed 25 women over 10 years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"- and David nodded.

- "Hotch was on that team, too."

- "Based on her life experience, we were hoping that agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting,"- Hotch announced and looked at us, but none of us said a word.

I kept my eyes glued at my feet the whole time Aaron talked. Then, Spencer nodded and walked with Seaver and Rossi out to the hangar. I couldn't even blink. I think I was in shock.

- "Her father was a serial killer?"- Prentiss asked Hotch, not getting what he was thinking.

- "That's definitely a different set of parameters,"- Morgan added. Neither of them was sold on the idea, which made me feel a little bit better.

- "I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case,"- Hotch was clear, and Prentiss and Morgan nodded.

- "You got it."

But I disagreed with that.

- "(Y/N), is everything ok?"- Aaron asked me, and I tried my best to lie and be cool.

- "Yeah, I'm ok."

- "Ok. We work this like any other case. Wheels up in twenty."

But everything was far from being ok.

I sat next to Spencer on the jet, and we reviewed the case files together. Hotch briefed us, and we all pretended it wasn't weird having Seaver there. And I guess we had to pretend it wasn't odd knowing her dad was a serial killer.

- "You are very young, (Y/N),"- she said and smiled at me. She was sitting across from Spencer and me, and you could tell she had been trying to join the conversation for a few minutes now.

-" Twenty eight,"- I answered and looked at the files again.

- "And you, doctor?"

- "You can call me Reid. I'm twenty eight too,"- Spencer cut her a short, awkward, and nervous smile, and I turned to him.

- "Honey, did I leave my Mets jersey at your house?"- it was the only question that came to my mind at that minute. It was completely random, but somehow it showed a part of our dynamic that Ashley didn't know. Our friendship. Our closeness.

- "Yes, I found it last night,"- he answered and sipped his coffee- "I was gonna bring it over, but then I remembered you always borrow all my sweaters when you are home or when you stay over, so I thought maybe it was a good idea to keep it at my place."

- "I don't know, Batsy. It's my favorite sweatshirt- I raised an eyebrow, and I'm pretty sure I even flirted a little bit."

- "So? You need to keep one there."

- "But I like wearing your clothes when we are at your place. It's extra large and extra comfy."

- "Is that why you keep taking my sweaters back to your house?"- he asked and chuckled- "Last Sunday, I found four of my sweaters in your closet."

- "Sorry, I'm not even sorry,"- I said and laughed- "And what were you doing in my closet?"

- "Lucy, Ricky, can we focus on the case?"- Morgan asked and waved at us with one silly grin on his face- "We love hearing your adorable daily adventures, but we've got a psycho killer to catch."

Spencer blushed and flustered right away. I stuck out my tongue at Morgan and just shook my head. The way Seaver looked at Reid was still driving me nuts, but I felt I had shown her he was mine, childishly.

It's embarrassing to think that's not the most childish thing I did around her those days. Or in the weeks to follow. But I didn't like Ashley, and I didn't want her around my team. And it wasn't just her constant flirting with Spencer. It was the fact her father had killed my mother's sister when she was in college, and I was making my best effort to keep that fact aside from work. My personal life had to stay out of the FBI, especially when working a case.

I had to do some serious mental work trying to remember it wasn't Ashley's fault her father was a sick bastard. She hadn't hurt my family, and her father had ruined her life too. It wasn't her fault.

But one thing is knowing. Another thing is being rational about it. Spoiler: I wasn't so rational about it.

- "So, (Y/N). Do you like working at the BAU?"- Ashley asked me and looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were in the SUV, and Prentiss was driving. I was in the back seat, trying to ignore her, but she made it impossible.

- "Yes, very much,"- I answered and nodded, not taking my eyes from the window.

- "Everybody is very friendly,"- Seaver added and made a pause. I don't know if she wanted me to say something or if she was trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say.

- "Yes, they are,"- I humored her, and she quickly responded.

- "Are you and Spencer dating?"- I could feel the blood raising my cheeks as she spoke. And Prentiss flashed me a look through the mirror as Ashley continued talking.

- "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. I just wondered because of the fraternization policy."

- "Right. Sure. Of course."

Those three words were meant to let Ashley know I wasn't buying her bullshit, So I literally spit them.

- "Spencer is my best friend. We are not dating."

Facing that simple truth had never been harder before, especially after how I saw Ashley's face light up.

- "You just seem to be so close."

- "Oh, they are close,"- Emily smiled at me and winked- "They are so close, they sometimes freak us out."

- "We freak you out?"- I raised an eyebrow and carefully hit her arm, pretending to be upset. But honestly, I was glad she was teasing me.

- "I am just saying, we are all pretty suspicious about you two. I am actually surprised you didn't share rooms tonight. They usually share rooms."- Emily explained to Seaver.

- "He was paired with Morgan,"- I pouted and looked at my phone. I thought maybe I could send him a funny text. I actually wanted to hang out with him.

- "He is very nice,"- Ashley added- "I mean, everybody is nice."

- "Yes, you mentioned it"

I was clearly not being nice. Seaver nodded and looked at the files again. I assumed she was trying to find a way to keep asking about Spencer, and I was making my best not to kill her.

- "Working with a genius must be somehow intimidating,"- she said after a few minutes. Damn it, she wasn't going to let that subject go.

- "It's fun working with Spencer,"- Prentiss said, trying to humor Seaver. And mostly, I guess trying to ease my mood and keep me from killing the trainee agent.

- "I'm sure it is,"- Seaver added. I hated her.

- "He is more than just a genius, he is a nerd."- Emily pointed out and chuckled at her words, making Seaver giggle too. I looked at my book again, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it at all. He was my nerd. Mine.

- "Well, it's very refreshing to be with a group who trusts and works so well together,"- she added- "I had never felt less judged and more welcome in my entire life."

I know I should have felt sorry for her. But I honestly couldn't. That was the day I realized I wasn't the good person I thought I was. There was a part of me that was a scumbag. I'm guessing knowing that is pretty helpful and positive 'cos you can work on your flaws. But I wasn't planning on working on anything at that minute, though. I just wanted to break Seaver's face.

Spencer's point of view

I didn't like working without JJ. I've never been good with change, and that was a massive alteration of our routine. I missed her, and adding Ashley to the team made things even weirder for me, even for a case. I didn't want to be judgemental, but her father was a serial killer. Of course, that would make things weird.

Besides, everybody kept bugging me, teasing me, trying to see if I liked Seaver. Penelope called while we were on the case and started taunting me, saying she knew I thought Ashley was cute. I could see she was beautiful, but I couldn't see her that way. And I didn't want anyone to say those kinds of things around (Y/N).

Why did I care so much?

I didn't want to face it 'cos I knew it was completely platonic, but I didn't want (Y/N) to think I had a crush on Seaver. I knew my best friend didn't have romantic feelings for me, and I also knew I wasn't going to make a move on her or anything. But I didn't want things to change more than they already had. And most of all, I didn't want anything to alter my dynamic with (Y/N).

But at the same time, somehow, it felt everything was already different between us.

- "Hey, honey bunny,"- (Y/N) walked to me and handed me a cup of coffee- "I thought you might need one of these."

- "You are a lifesaver,"- I whispered and sipped the cup. It was perfect.

We were on the jet on our way back home. The whole team was mostly quiet. The mood was weird. Ashley had done something quite reckless earlier and nearly got herself killed. She walked to the unsub's house all alone, not knowing he was our guy. She almost died, and none of us can even imagine what went through her head to do such a thing.

Rossi and Hotch walked to her. (Y/N) looked at me, and I could read on her face that both of us knew what was going to happen.

Ashley was alone when David sat in front of her, and Hotch stood in the middle of the aisle. Maybe that had been insensitive of us. Neither of us tried to contain her. Neither of us really knew her that well. Or at all, as a matter of fact.

- "You were not supposed to go off on your own."- Hotch went straight to the point.

- "I know,"- she whispered, and I could see how (Y/N)'s face changed. I tried to read her, but all I was able to see was... anger? I had to be wronged. She had no reason to be mad at Ashley.

- "You could have been killed,"- Hotch crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her.

- "I know that, too."

- "Why, Ashley? You're smarter than that"- Rossi sounded like a worried father. I didn't look at him 'cos I kept my eyes on (Y/N)'s, still trying to read her emotions. But what I saw made no sense. She really looked like she was angry at Ashley. Like she hated her.

- "I never got to apologize to any of the victims. The families of the women my father killed. I thought if I could just apologize to one family that had been hurt that way..."

And that was when (Y/N) snapped. She jumped from her seat and walked to Seaver. Aaron and David looked at her surprised, and Morgan turned to me, taking off his headphones. Neither he nor Prentiss got what was happening until that moment.

- "Ok. Shoot!"- (Y/N) sat right in front of Seaver, next to David, and looked at her. But she didn't get it.

- "What? What are you talking about?"

- "You just said you wanted to apologize to one of the families. So go ahead. Try."

The silence on the jet was so deep and awkward it felt no one was ever going to talk again.

- "I'm sorry, (Y/N). But I don't get what you are implying,"- Ashley's voice was a whisper. I knew she was sad and affected, embarrassed even. But I also knew (Y/N), and I could read it on her face. She wasn't joking.

- "You said you wanted to apologize to the family of one of your dad's victims, so go ahead. Apologize to me."

My first instinct was to stand up, which I did. But I froze and didn't take a step closer to (Y/N) when I noticed the severe and cold look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew she wasn't bluffing.

- "Why should I... apologize to you?"- Ashley asked her, and her voice broke at a certain point, probably scared of the answer.

- "Your dad killed my mother's older sister. She was in college,"- (Y/N) spit each word with hate and looked at Ashley, waiting for her reply. But Seaver didn't know what to do. She widened her eyes and stayed still. She barely kept her breathing steady.

- "(Y/N), maybe we should let Seaver rest,"- Hotch landed a hand on her shoulder, but my friend shook her head.

- "No, Hotch. By making that choice, she put everyone at risk,"- (Y/N) didn't take her eyes from Ashley as she spoke- "As far as I remember when you are at the academy, they teach you that in the field, we are responsible to and for your team."

- "(Y/N)... I had no idea..."- Ashley tried to apologize, I could see it, but it was clear she wasn't going to win that argument- "I am so sorry."

- "I don't know, Seaver. Did you think saying "sorry" would make those families feel better? 'Cos it ain't working here. "Sorry" won't make my mom stop feeling guilty about what happened. And, if things had gotten ugly back there, "sorry" wouldn't have made your mistake go away in case anyone would have gotten hurt. So no. Sorry doesn't help. Maybe it can ease your conscience, but when you really fuck it up, it never makes things better."

(Y/N) stood up and walked back to her seat in front of me. I let her pass and didn't say a word. I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it there. And, of course, Seaver didn't say a word. She just stood up and walked to the back of the jet, to the bathroom. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other and then looked at me.

David poured a glass of whiskey and walked to (Y/N) slowly. He didn't say a word, he just handed it to her, and she just took it and sipped it with shaky hands.

- "Thanks,"- she whispered, and Rossi nodded. Hotch raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't. He just walked to his seat and opened a case file.

I moved back to my seat and opened my satchel. I had run out of candies earlier that day, so I didn't have much to give to her that could make her smile. So I picked a book and handed it to her. She took it and smiled at me kindly. I knew she was fighting back the tears, and I am sure she has held back all the emotions than being with the daughter of the man who killed her aunt since she knew who Seaver was. And she managed to do the job well. I was proud of her.

- "Wanna grab something to eat when we reach DC?"- I whispered, but for the first time ever, she shook her head.

- "I'm gonna have to catch a rain check for that dinner. I think I wanna go straight to my bed today, honey."- she sipped her glass again, and I nodded.

- "Don't worry, next time."

I was waiting for the train to go back home later that night when I saw Seaver sitting at a bench at the station, staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't see her leaving the BAU, though to be honest, I was really focused on finishing my paperwork to go home. (Y/N) had left as soon as we reached DC, but I had stayed a little longer.

I hesitated for a few seconds before I took a few steps closer and waved at Seaver. She looked at me surprised, as soon as she saw me, but didn't move. I smiled, trying to look friendly, and sat next to her.

- "Hi. What are you doing here?"- I asked her, and she shrugged.

- "I was going to go home, but I think I sat here half an hour ago and haven't been able to move,"- I turned to her and shook my head.

- "Do you want to eat something?"- after what had happened at the jet, I figured Ashley wasn't feeling so good, and maybe talking with someone could help her. She looked at me and blushed; I don't know why. But at least, she smiled and nodded.

- "Great, pizza?"

- "Pizza sounds good."

We were waiting for our food and making small talk. I kept giving Ashley pizza facts to fill the silence 'cos it was weird hanging out with Ashley. I didn't know her, really. We had worked a case together, but that didn't mean I knew her. And, of course, we had the whole jet incident. I felt a little guilty about what had happened, though it wasn't my fault at all in retrospect. I just felt like it was my job cheering her up a little bit after everything she had gone through.

- "How do you do it?"- she asked me all of a sudden- "How do you deal with the pressure of this job?"

- "You get used to it, I guess. I don't know if it's a good thing to get used to, but... it comes with the job, I think,"- I didn't know if I was doing ok comforting her. Then again, I have never been particularly good at it. Not then, not now.

- "Did you always dream about doing this?"- she asked me, and her eyes locked into mine in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

- "Y... yes. Ever since I was a kid, catching the bad guys,"- Seaver nodded and sipped her coke- "You? Why did you get into the academy?"

I regretted my question right after I asked, just 'cos I realized she might have done it to understand her father's behavior. It was only apparent that had shaped her actions.

- "I guess you know that..."- Ashley answered and smiled, her eyes looking straight into mine. I know I blushed. She is a beautiful woman, though I wasn't thinking about her that way. It was an odd feeling being observed that way.

I was glad our pizza made it to the table, and we were forced to stop talking, and I could focus on anything else but her. Not that I didn't want to look at her, but... I think the right way to explain it is to call it "uneasy." That's how I felt. I wanted to be friendly with her, she had a horrible experience consulting with the team, and I was sure she wasn't really having a good day.

- "This might sound weird, but... do you think I can call you sometime?"- Ashley asked after a few minutes. We were eating and talking about nothing important. I nearly chook at her words and looked at her, nodding.

- "Sure, why?"- I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't know why she might need to talk to me again.

- "I just think maybe you could help me with a few assignments at the academy."

- "Yeah, of course."

Ashley Seaver smiled and nodded at me, pleased. She took a sip of Sprite, and I could read her, trying to find the words to continue speaking.

- "I'm glad. I was sure you were going to say no."

- "Why?"- I furrowed my brows, confused- "I'm not a big fan of phones, but I can handle a casual phone call."

- "No, I just didn't think your girlfriend would like... I mean, I think (Y/N) hates me, and as her boyfriend, I thought you... would... I don't know."

- "I'm, we are... we,"- I was completely flustered as I tried to rearrange my thoughts. Seaver looked at me innocently and waited for my words.

- "(Y/N) isn't my girlfriend"- it bothered me to admit that simple fact. Why? 'Cos it hurt to think we looked like a couple, but we weren't. Why did Seaver think we were together?

- "Really? But..."

- "She is my best friend,"- I explained poorly. She nodded and hesitated before saying what she was thinking. It was obvious she was trying to arrange the words in her head.

- "It's just that you two... sorry, I'm overstepping,"- Ashley blushed and shook her head- "She is... strong."

- "Yes, very."

- "I think I started with the wrong foot with her."

- "Well, I don't mean to justify anything, but if your father hurt,"- I made a pause, trying to find a way to say it that wasn't so painful.

- "Killed. My father killed her aunt,"- she corrected me with a cold and monotonous tone of voice. I just nodded and sipped my water.

- "She is an amazing person,"- I don't know if I was trying to excuse (Y/N)'s earlier behavior or if I just loved her so much I needed to tell people how awesome she was.

- "I'm sure you will pass this,"- I assured her- "Once you get to know her, and she gets to know you."

- "I don't think she will give me that chance. Besides, I was just clear to assist with only one case."

- "If you want to stay, you can request your remedial training be here. And if Hotch approves it, I could talk to (Y/N). I'm sure she will like to know you better."

Why did I say all that? I had no idea.

- "Thank you, Spence. You are really sweet,"- Ashley moved closer and held my hand. I stayed very still, absolutely awkward.

- "Yeah, I don't... like... holding hands,"- I quickly moved it away and tried to smile at her. She stayed still, not understanding my reaction but trying to act normal.

- "Sorry."

- "That's ok. I'm a germaphobe, that's all."

After pizza, we left the place and said goodnight. I told Ashley I was weary (which was, in fact, the truth) and got her a cab to take her home. After that, I walked to my place. I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. My head was overwhelmed, and in the latest couple of weeks, I had severe trouble sleeping.

I had migraines that nearly blinded me. I was scared they meant I could develop the first signs of schizophrenia, like mom, 'cos they were coming more and more often. It wasn't that bad yet, the light didn't hurt my eyes, and I didn't have any sign of hallucination, but still, I knew it could be serious.

I tried to think of a reason why I might be having those severe headaches. I was eating correctly, mostly 'cos (Y/N) forced me to eat. No, she didn't force me, but she made sure I had all my meals at work, not just coffee. And usually, at the weekends, we would spend our time together, and she was a fantastic cook. So it wasn't an alimentary issue.

I wasn't sleeping well. That wasn't new, but it was getting serious. I wrote and read a lot at night 'cos I couldn't fall asleep until late. I didn't know why. I just couldn't rest. My body ached, and my brain wouldn't sleep. The only nights I could actually get some rest were the ones when (Y/N) stayed with me. It was a blessing when Hotch paired us to share rooms, 'cos I could easily fall asleep when she was around. Her presence soothed me in a way that I didn't understand. Let me put it this way, I know it might sound cheesy, but the beating of her heart set the rhythm for my own, and at night it would bring me peace.

I reached home that night and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to rest easy. (Y/N) wasn't there with me. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea, (Y/N) had a lot of those in my house, and I drank them when I missed her. The smell coming from the cup made me feel like she was close.

How pathetic I had become! But I could only share those thoughts with myself. No one knew I had feelings for her, and I was going to deny it till the end, no matter what had JJ said. I couldn't take that phone call from my mind, and on those sleepless nights, I kept overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

I got into bed with a few books and my cup of herbal tea. I took a look at my cell phone, two new messages.

- "I miss u"

(Y/N) sent, and a warm feeling spread on my chest as I imagined her whispering those words as I read them

- "Breakfast tomorrow before work?"

- "See you at seven-thirty."

I typed and sent it.

What could ever happen if I told her how much in love I am with her? I would lose her, and I'd be alone. She didn't feel that way for me. It was a fact. I was just glad she was my best friend, and I could share everything with her. Was I pathetic? Yes, very, but in a way, it felt it was just all I deserved. Not more, not less. Just being in love with a girl who didn't love me back.

At least she wasn't dating Paul anymore. I hated that guy.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Spencer was waiting for me outside our usual coffee shop, already holding two cups of coffee. His short hair looked dreamy as she smiled and took off his sunglasses. It had to be illegal being that hot. But, seriously, how didn't he get laid? He was fucking dreamy. In the four years we had been best friends, I saw Spencer in many hairstyles, and each of them made him look like a model.

Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been a process I hadn't actually been fully aware of. But I was completely conscious I needed to hide those feelings from him and from everybody at the BAU.

Ok, fine, I had somehow faced part of those feelings in front of my drunk best buddies at Penelope's house, but I never actually confirmed anything. I had just... shared some of my frustrations, I guess.

- "Good morning, honey bunny,"- I smiled and sighed as I stood in front of Spencer, watching him grin back at me and hand me one of the coffee cups.

- "Good morning, chipmunk. Did you get some rest?"

- "Yes, I fell asleep as soon as I reached my bed. I was exhausted."

- "I'm glad you are fully rested."

- "What did you do yesterday?"

- "Nothing,"- he answered quickly and turned around- "I got you a carrot muffin to go."

- "Thank you so much. I'm starving. I didn't even have dinner yesterday."

- "Really?"

- "I told you, I reached home and crawled into my bed."

We walked outside the coffee shop in silence. Spencer bit his donuts, and I ate my muffin. It was nice and calming being with him doing domestic things in life.

I hated how much in love I was with him 'cos I knew I had to shake that feeling away. He was never going to have feelings for me. I was a regular human being, and Spencer Walter Reid was a genius. He deserved better, he was actually never to think about me that way, and I refused to ruin our friendship with those feelings.

- "So, Comic-con is coming. What are we doing this year?"- I asked as I drove us to Quantico.

- "I was thinking we should do something classic,"- he looked at me, nearly beaming on his seat- "We haven't done Star Wars yet."

- "Really?"- I frowned, confused- "All these years? Are you sure?"

- "(Y/N), eidetic memory,"- he argued, and I chuckled- "So, how do you feel about Leia?"

- "Do I have to be Leia 'cos I'm a girl?"- I asked him, and he flustered right away.

- "What? No, you can be whoever you want to be. I was just, it came to my mind... I didn't,"- I giggled and looked at him for a second.

- "I'm messing with you, Batsy. I always wanted to dress as Leia. Surprisingly, I never had. Padme once, it was a mess, but never Leia. Who are you planning to be?"

- "Maybe Luke... or Obi-Wan. Morgan suggested C3PO once."

- "If I'm Leia, you should be Han,"- I don't know why I said that out loud. I thought about it, I pictured it in my head, but I knew I shouldn't have said it. Then why did those words leave my mouth? I don't know.

- "Han Solo... yes... yeah, sure. Of course! We can pick our outfits this weekend."

- "Great! What do you think would look better? Slave Leia or classic all in white Leia?"- Spencer didn't answer. He just sipped his coffee and looked outside the window.

- "You would look good in both,"- his cellphone interrupted our conversations, and I thought it might be a case. But I was so wrong, it hurt.

- "Hello? Oh, hi, Ashley,"- I nearly hit the break as soon as I heard him saying her name, but instead, I turned around and looked at him.

- "Good, yes. On my way to work with (Y/N). Oh, that's good."

I didn't care what she was saying. I just needed to know why that bitch was calling him. I was blind in jealousy, and I was having a hard time hiding it.

- "Really? Emily? That's... that's great. Sure, we'll see you around, gotta go. Bye."

- "What the fuck?"- I swear, I didn't think what I was saying. Those words just slip through my lips straight from my guts. I hated Seaver.

- "That was Ashley."

- "Figured when you said "Hi Ashley." What? Are you best friends with her now?"

- "What? No! No way! She just wanted to say hi... and... She.... asked for my number 'cos she wanted to help her with some of the academy's projects,"- Spencer was so nervous he actually stuttered as he answered my simple question.

- "Of course, she did,"- my voice was bitter and hurt, but most of all, ironic. And I don't know if Spencer didn't want to understand me or actually didn't get the hint, but he just continued talking.

- "She wanted to tell me she requested her remedial training be at the BAU."

- "What?!"- that wasn't subtle. I actually yelled- "I'm gonna have to see her again?"

- "If Hotch approves..."

- "Fuck!! That's awful!!"- I hit the wheel, frustrated.

- "She's not a bad person, (Y/N). Her dad was a murderer, but that doesn't mean..."- I turned to look at Spencer for a second, and he just shut up- "Sorry."

- "I don't like her, Spencer."

- "Yes, I know."

- "Her dad killed my aunt!!"

- "I know..."

- "And on top of that, that bitch is..."

I had to bite my lips and focus on the road, actually holding my breath for a few seconds, just not to open my mouth and ruin it all.

The main reason why I hated Ashley Seaver wasn't just because of what her father had done. That itself was enough to keep her away. But on top of that, she was flirting with Spencer. She wasn't even subtle about it; she was nearly all over him. I saw her! She wanted him, and he had no idea! He was blind to her attention. Unless he liked it. Did he? Shit, I hoped not.

- "She what?"- Spencer whispered, scared of my reaction.

- "She plays the pity card the whole time. Bad things happen to all of us. You don't have to make it who you are, she does, and she expects sympathy."

I grabbed my muffin and took a big bite of it. Spencer sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, giving me space to decompress, I think.

- "Did you know the origins of carrot cake are disputed by many countries?"- I looked at Spencer, and he nodded- "Many food historians believe carrot cake originated from the English recipe of carrot puddings, eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages when sugar and sweeteners were expensive, and many people used carrots as a substitute for sugar."

- "My mom would fight all those historians and convince them she invented it. Her carrot cake is the best."

- "And I would agree, the cake she baked for your last birthday was amazing."- I nodded and heard him chuckle as I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to focus on the memories of my last birthday and how fun it was, but something was bugging me.

- "And why did she call you to tell you what she wanted to do?"- I parked the car outside the BAU and turned to Spencer. He opened his mouth, but no word came from it. So I asked him again.

- "Honey, why did Seaver call you to announce she would take the remedial training at the BAU?"

- "It... might... had been my idea,"- he whispered and held his satchel tight against his body. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it.

- "Why on earth did you do that, Spencer?!"- I shouted as I got out of the car, grabbed my purse, my clean go bag in case we had a case, and started walking towards the building.

- "It wasn't like a suggestion. She just..."

- "I can't believe it!!"

- "It doesn't have to be that bad! It's just for a few weeks..."

- "Hopefully, Hotch won't accept."

- "(Y/N), come on,"- Spencer held my hand and stopped me- "This is not like you. Yeah, you don't like her, but you are making it a big deal, and it's not."

- "I'm starting to think you are crushed on her,"- I didn't want to say those words. They just slipped.

- "What!? Why? No!! I'm not!"- the high pitch on Spencer's voice was a clear sign of how uncomfortable he was with the conversation.

- "Then why are you defending her?"

- "I am not! I'm just saying maybe you are acting a little bit... irrational about this whole thing. She hasn't done anything bad."

- "Other than jeopardizing the whole case yesterday?"

- "Right, other than that..."

I felt Spencer's hand in mine, and I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt. It kept sending shivers all over my body. His thumb rubbed small circles on my skin, probably trying to calm me down, and it worked. I followed it with my eyes for a second as I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

- "Ok, I won't make a big deal if she stays."

- "Thank you."

- "Just... don't ask me to be her friend."

- "You don't have to be her friend."

Spencer stood in front of me and smiled. I swear all I could think of was kissing him. And a part of me felt it was getting harder and harder to resist. He put on his sunglasses and kept his hand in mine for a moment until Penelope's voice took us from our little bubble.

- "Good morning, my wonder babies!! Ready to fight crime?"

I actually didn't know what I was getting into.

Hotch had taken the day off. We were around the one-year anniversary of Haley's death, and according to what Rossi explained to us, Jack wasn't feeling so good. It was said it would be just a day or two, but I had the feeling it might be a couple of weeks. Hotch would always put himself second, but he would do whatever it took to keep him safe when it came to his son.

Morgan had been asked to take a trip to Petersburg Federal Correctional Complex to do a risk assessment on a case, so Spencer, Prentiss, and I were in the bullpen. Garcia was in her office, and Rossi was in a meeting with Strauss. I'd say it was a very calm morning, catching up with all the pending paperwork we had. Spencer had just gotten me a cup of coffee when I heard Seaver's cheerful voice.

- "Hi guys!"- she walked in with a big smile and waved- "How are you?"

Spencer looked at me as we all said our hellos. I could almost read "Please, be nice" written all over his face, and for a moment, I was willing to do as told. I didn't want him to suspect why I was so annoyed by her after all.

- "I talked to Hotch"- Emily smiled at Seaver and moved a chair for her- He signed off your remedial training, and I'll be your training agent. I'll supervise your work. I already told Rossi too, so it's official.

Ashley jumped from her chair and hugged Emily. I rolled my eyes and stared at the file on my desk. I really wasn't ready to deal with her. I wasn't prepared to deal with someone trying to steal Spencer from me.

Ok, Spencer wasn't mine to keep, but we had been inseparable for four years, and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.

I had never been ready to deal with Spencer dating other girls. The few times girls had hit on him had been awful. Once, Morgan took him to a club when we were on a case, 'cos the unsub was picking his victims there, and he taught him how to pick up girls. The bartender ended up giving him her number 'cos my dorky best friend was charming. Derek still remembered that moment from time to time, quoting it as "The day he turned Spencer into a man."

I loved Derek, but fuck, I hated him sometimes.

- "Welcome to the team,"- Spencer waved at Seaver from his desk and turned to me, raising an eyebrow.

- "Yeah, welcome,"- I added and cut her a short smile.

- "I'm thrilled to join you guys for a few weeks. I always dreamt of being here. I'm ready for making it up after the last case."

- "Don't be so hard on yourself,"- Prentiss interrupted her and smiled friendly- "You remained calm under pressure, and the case was solved. That's all that matters."

I had to control myself not to snort after Emily's words. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on my desk like I had done before. I was so focused on it that I could have actually developed telekinesis skills and moved the freaking file with my eyes.

- "I just wanted to say thank you to all of you,"- Seaver's voice was soft, in a mix of fear, excitement, and... something else I couldn't read.

- "Especially you, Spencer. I really enjoyed our talk last night, and I have the feeling I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for the pizza. I owe you dinner."

- "Don't, it was nothing,"- Spencer flustered and stood up quickly, grabbing his pile of files and walking away, arguing he needed to ask Garcia something.

I did my best not to move a muscle. I didn't want Seaver to know how much I hated the fact she had shared what seemed to be a lovely evening with Spencer. One he didn't actually mention when we talked about what we had done the previous evening. Why did he decide to keep me in the dark? I couldn't understand that. Maybe he just didn't want me to know he actually had feelings for Seaver. Maybe he had asked her out, and because he knew I hated her (though he really didn't know why), he decided not to tell me what was going on.

I had been wasting all that time in love with Spencer. I knew I would never act on those feelings, and clearly, he didn't have feelings for me. So... maybe it was time to let him go.

How could I let Spencer Reid go when I never actually had him?

–

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–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 16th, 2021

#spencer reid #Criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #diwk #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds re write

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reidology · 3 years

Text

Dying in a bathtub - Hotchreid

Summary: Hotch gets nightmares and hides in the tub, so Spencer makes it comfy for him <3

Word count: 4.4k

Content warning: discussion and description of nightmares, smut, brief description of physical abuse, light angst, quite fluffy, happy ending <3

AO3

__________________________________________

The first time it happened Spencer woke up shivering, the cold of a missing body beside him seeped through the sheets chilled his bones. He braved a lazy glance to his bedside, squinting to see the alarm clock blinking big and aggressive red numbers. 05:25. Aaron must have gone out for a morning run, something Spencer never understood. In fact, his reasoning of ‘why run, when sleep?’ whenever Aaron attempted to get him to join always earned him an affectionate eye roll and kiss on the cheek, so why would he ever give that up? No promise of endless coffee can get Spencer Reid to wake up before 7am, much less for exercise.

Reluctantly the sleepy man made his way to the bathroom, knowing he might as well shower and get ready for work now, there’s no way he could get back to sleep without his human furnace of a boyfriend covering him completely. Only, through his grogginess he failed to notice the boyfriend-shaped body softly snoring in the tub.

So he padded over to the semi-closed shower curtain and blearily reached in to turn the water on for it to heat up while he got ready.

Almost as soon as the water turned on, a high-pitched shriek assaulted the young agent’s eardrums. Spencer did what, in his opinion, any caught-off-guard fully trained FBI agent would do— he squealed in shock and fell back on his ass. A moment later the shower curtain pulled back, revealing a very irritated -and very wet- Aaron Hotchner.

“Babe what the fuck,” the older man whined, wringing out his shirt and turning the freezing water off, “I was sleeping!”

“Oh this is my fault?!”

“Yes! Couldn’t you see me?!”

“I just woke up!”

“Me too!” Aaron pointed to his wet shirt as if to say you have no excuse for this.

Spencer let out a frustrated sigh and pushed himself up from the floor. Somehow he upset his boyfriend, he guesses apologies are on the table. He carefully stepped into the bathtub to face his dripping boyfriend and wrapped his arms around the soaking man’s neck, “I’m sorry,” he pouted quite prettily, “But honey, why were you sleeping in the tub?”

“I didn’t sleep in the tub. I went to sleep in our bed, then you woke me up in the tub.” Aaron grumbled.

Spencer thought Aaron looked positively insane. His eyes focused on the older man’s pupils as his hands checked for a fever.

“Do you have a concussion?” He couldn’t help but fret about the man who is usually so well put together. He was obviously in distress though what kind of distress completely eluded the dry man. Aaron waved Spencer’s worried hands away from his face, “No. Spence, I’m telling you, I didn’t sleep in the bathtub.”

“Then how did you get here?”

Aaron shrugged and swatted Spencer’s nosy hands away that were trying to inspect the grumpy man for any injuries, “Who knows? Let’s get some breakfast.” He calmly stepped out of the tub and headed out, leaving Spencer confused (for once).

“... But it’s 5 am.”

_____

Two nights later, it happened again. But this time Spencer awoke to the sound of sobbing. His heart just about broke in two at the sight of Aaron curled in on himself in the porcelain tub, shaking and covered in sweat.

The Unit Chief used to have terrors most nights. After Foyet, all of life’s problems seemed to unravel in his dreams. The sounds and images were so vivid that upon waking up he believed he had done what he’d dreamed. That he’d hurt his family or that Foyet had come back to finish the job.

During hard cases, Aaron would forgo sleep completely, knowing his mind would only haunt him with terror beyond his conscious capabilities. It left him exhausted and agitated for the rest of the investigation. The team and LEOs got frustrated but none had the guts to confront him, except for one young agent who took special notice of his boss.

So Spencer stepped in, and after weeks of getting closer and learning more about each other than they had in the past five years of working together, Aaron digressed and accepted the help that was offered. The following three months ensued so smoothly, the therapy was helping and Aaron couldn’t believe he was sleeping full nights again. He knew it was all thanks to Spencer, who had taken up a very special place in his heart. Aaron knew that Spencer would always be there when he woke up, like an anchor. Something real to hold on to and keep him in place.

It had been a while since Aaron had such a bad episode, luckily Spencer knew just what to do and jumped right into action. Without missing a beat, the younger man climbed into the tub and sat by Aaron’s head, taking hold of one of his white-knuckled fists and gently coaxing it open by rubbing his thumbs from the palm to the back of the hand. Constant pressure, soothing, real. With one hand he threaded his fingers through the brunette’s damp hair, stroking softly at his scalp, willing his nightmare mind to latch onto the familiar touch.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.” He murmured sweetly like a mantra.

Eventually Aaron’s panicked sobs dissolved into pained whimpers, his body lost some of its tension, allowing for Spencer to gently lift his boyfriend’s head into his lap and off the hard floor of the tub. The whimpers died down to light trembles and Spencer shushed him comfortingly, continuing to sooth him with gentle strokes to his head. Slowly Aaron’s eyes opened and Spencer felt the moment panic set in. The taller man’s breathing quickened and tension returned to his body, frozen in fear. God, Spencer should have turned the lights on.

“It’s just me, darling. You’re home, Aaron. This is home. You’re safe.”

Aaron trembled more, his eyes glazed over as if reliving the nightmare, “Shhh you’re safe.”

Spencer placed a feathery kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead that seemed to anchor him immediately. Tentatively, Aaron looked up at his rescuer, relieved to be in his lover's arms and away from the nightmare universe that had felt so real. He burrowed further into Spencer’s lap, wrapped his shaking arms around his boyfriend’s steady hips. He tried to focus on Spencer’s heartbeat in an attempt to regulate his own. Spencer was warm, Spencer was safe. Always safe.

“Foyet?” Spencer asked cautiously, breath fanning over the older’s forehead. Aaron stilled at the name then nodded. The younger man knows that Aaron needs to talk about it immediately, even if it’s terrifying. It allows him to discern dreams from reality, so that the events and sensations of the night terror don’t ingrain themselves into the man’s memories of reality .

“... and Scratch,” Aaron gulped, “They had Jack. I couldn’t... I didn’t know what was real. Couldn’t tell if it was really Jack. He made me hurt him. Oh god, Spence… I hurt him.” Sobs wracked the pained man’s body once again, unable to forget the horror of the dream. Spencer rocked them back and forth.

“Shh… Jack is fine, he’s at Jess’s. You would never hurt him, Aaron.”

Aaron was spent, he couldn’t muster up the energy to talk. He fell asleep once more in his partner’s comforting hold.

_____

The next morning they woke up with aching muscles from being in the bathtub for so long. Spencer couldn’t help but be worried about his boyfriend. There was definitely something going on, and though he respected Aaron’s privacy immensely, he was afraid of the older man getting into a dangerous situation. Was he sleepwalking to the bathroom? What if he tripped and hit his head on the edge of the tub? But most importantly, why were Aaron’s nightmares leading him to the bathtub?

Spencer nuzzled Aaron’s neck in an effort to wake him up a bit more. “Darling, we need to talk about this.” The worry in Spencer’s voice was audible and prompted Aaron to sit up and sigh deeply. He didn’t think this part of his life would ever come back up to the surface, he’d avoided thinking about it for decades and he didn’t know what triggered the habit to resurface. But now it’s affected Spencer, and he knew he couldn’t keep the love of his life in the dark, but some things were so hard to talk about.

Aaron found himself panicking again, flashes of Foyet and his father clouding his mind once more. Images of Sean taking cover in Aaron’s arms while their father pounds on the bathroom door-

“I know. I-” He was cut off with the sweetest kiss.

“You can take your time sweetheart. No rush.”

Even at this stage in their relationship, Aaron wasn’t used to being treated so well. The kindness that naturally radiated off his boyfriend was enough to make his insides melt, the understanding words never ceased to choke him up. But he knew Spencer would be there to put him back together once he gave him all his pieces. He buried his face in the younger’s neck, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, relaxing into his hold. Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron’s lean form, offering a safe space. Aaron had never been this vulnerable with anyone before his relationship with Spencer.

After a moment of just holding each other, Aaron’s breathing mellowed out and his voice cracked as he explained everything.

“After Sean was born, my dad started drinking. He’d always been somewhat aggressive, scary even. He- he’d get angry and take it out on my mom… and if she wasn’t there... But when he started drinking it got a thousand times worse. I vowed to myself to protect Sean at all costs, I promised him I would never let our dad get to him. So I took the brunt of it when he was sober. But when he was drunk… he would chase us, try to get to Sean specifically. He was just a little kid 5 or 6, I was 15. He would scour the house to find Sean so I took him and locked us in the only room in the house with a lock… the bathroom. I’d carry Sean in my arms and make a run for it. I blocked off the door with a cabinet and we sat in the tub until he passed out.. My dad couldn’t get in but he would pound on the door so loudly, his voice was so angry-”

Aaron inhaled hard, the grip on the back of Spencer’s shirt tightened and his breathing shallowed. Spencer continued rubbing soothing circles on his back, allowing Aaron to take his time.

“The bathtub was the only safe space for Sean and I. We spent whole nights in there, waiting for my dad to pass out. Sometimes we’d tell stories, play games, but other times we cried and I covered his ears with my hands, not wanting him to hear the horrible things our dad was saying. This went on until I went to college, I tried to take Sean with me but my mother wouldn’t allow it. My dad died a year later, when Sean was 9.

“I- because of that, if any of us had nightmares we’d go into the bathroom and sleep in the tub, because no one could get to us in there.”

Aaron swallowed thickly and timidly looked up to the honey-haired man. Had he sounded pathetic?

But Spencer cupped his cheek once again and kissed him lovingly.

“Thank you for telling me. You’re the strongest person I know, Aaron. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.”

Aaron’s heart skipped a beat, warmth spreading through his chest. He swallowed down all his uncertainties and let Spencer in, he was proud of himself. Both of them yawned in succession, still exhausted from last night and uncomfortable from sleeping in the bathtub.

With a cheeky grin the younger man announced, “Let’s go to bed, I’ll get us the day off.” Aaron was so grateful.

While he called in sick, Spencer had an idea, and he knew just who to call.

_____

“Boy Wonder! How wonderful to hear from you on this frabjous day! We miss you and the Bossman dearly. We are definitely… working. Work is happening, and we’re doing it, and it’s getting done. You can trust me on that. Definitely no piñatas in the break room, where would we even find one on such short notice? Emily doesn’t even know where to get balloons! Anyway, what magical service may I bestow upon thee today, my little lord?”

Spencer bit back a chuckle, “Hi Penelope. Listen I need some advice on… interior decorating-”

Immediately, he got cut off by a squeal, “I’m on my way!”

“No! Garcia- after work-”

The line goes flat.

“Dammit. I should’ve just texted JJ.”

_____

Despite her best efforts, the rest of the team did not let Penelope leave the BAU for a ‘design emergency’. Fortunately for Spencer, that gave him some time to plan what he wanted to do while cooking lunch for his sleeping beauty.

After a full meal of soup and grilled cheese, Hotch retreated to the living room hoping to watch some History Channel with Spencer. They love watching the conspiracy shows together and debunking the awful propositions. Though Hotch learned quite surprisingly that Spencer is very open to the idea of aliens on Earth. However, he has a suspicion that that’s mostly wishful thinking on the part of Spencer's inner child. Nevertheless, it’s adorable and Hotch was excited for it, and waiting patiently for Spencer to finish cleaning himself up.

Before he could question what was taking so long, their doorbell rang a sweet lullabye sound (they had to change it from the awful buzzing that it was- it was too overwhelming for Spencer). Not expecting any company, Hotch was puzzled as to who could be at their door.

“Who is it?” He spoke through the intercom.

“Bossman! Sorry to hear about your incurable case of Work Sickness! If you could let me up, I brought you some warm soup!-”

Spencer bounded through the foyer from the bedroom, practically hopping over furniture and knocking down a flower arrangement, “I got it! I got it!” he heaved frantically.

“Babe, what’s Garcia doing in front of our building on a weekday?”

“Nothing Aar don’t worry about it, Penelope and I are just going out for lunch, see you later!”

Spencer grabbed his satchel and was out the door.

“But- Spencer you just had lunch!” The curly haired man was already running down the steps, “Bye!”

It was Hotch’s turn to be left alone and confused.

_____

In Penelope’s car, Spencer explained his idea to Penelope, without going saying too much about Hotch’s nightmares. In true Penelope fashion, the bubbly bits-and-bobs connoisseur knew the perfect place to get what Spencer needed. Penelope dragged Spencer around the independently-owned home goods boutique like a lost puppy for about two hours. She ended up with more bags for herself and Sergio than what Spencer needed.

A few texts and one missed call from Hotch wondering what the hell was taking Spencer so long prompted them to leave. Spencer thanked Penelope in front of their apartment and air kissed her goodbye, promising to show up at girl’s night next week..

Spencer walks into the foyer as quietly as possible and hides the bags behind the living room’s entertainment center.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah! I’m home!”

Aaron walked out of their bedroom with a soft smile. His round glasses were on, meaning he’s been reading… or looking at case files.

“Are you going through the case?” Spencer scolded.

The bespectacled man didn’t waver. “There’s something the victim’s parents said that doesn’t add up, they said that every Thursday Mandy went to soccer practice after school and swim practice in the next town over in the evenings. She takes the bus so if the unsub was stalking her he’d either have to take the same bus and risk getting caught or have a car- which goes against our age profile- so that would mean there’s someone driving him. Spencer, there are TWO unsu-” He was cut off by being pulled into a kiss. He hummed into it and wrapped his arms around Spencer’s slender waist, pulling them closer together. When they pulled apart Spencer whispered “Two unsubs. The team knows, they’re working on it. You-” he tapped his finger on the older’s chin for emphasis, “need to relax today.”

The resulting pretty pout was swiftly kissed away. None of that now.

“But I don’t know how to relax. I’m Aaron Hotchner, stoic as a statue, stern glare extraordinaire, Mr. Emotionless…”

Spencer rolled his eyes and trailed his hands down Aaron’s hard chest, “I know how to make you relax…” The other man grinned “Oh is that right?” Spencer smirked and led his boyfriend to the couch.

_____

That night when Aaron was gone to bed, Spencer quietly retrieved the bags from behind the TV and set his plan in motion.

_____

He’s trembling. And he can’t recognize his own thoughts, he can’t think straight, all he can see is his son- and Haley with terror written all over their faces.

He barely registers the sound of Jack’s wailing because, as if from right behind his ear, he hears a voice that he interprets as his own thought ‘shoot him’.

‘What?’

‘Pull the trigger’

He looks back up to his sobbing, terrified son, and without hesitation- click- BOOM-

Aaron bolted up from the bed, gasping for breath. His eyes darted around the dark. Jack? Where is he- Jack ohmygod-

His vision landed on Spencer’s sleeping form, breathing shallowly and folded into himself like a pretzel, sleeping soundly like an angel. Spencer. Real. Safe. He took a deep breath to regulate his heart. In for 4, hold, out for 6, repeat. This was exhausting.

Groggily, Aaron slipped out from under the covers and headed to the bathroom to get a drink of water and maybe splash his face a little. He thought of getting into the bathtub for the comfort he desperately needed right now, but he’d be embarrassed if Spencer found him in there again. Who does that? But nothing could have prepared Aaron for the sight before him when he opened the door.

Lights. Yellow, green, purple electric lights on strings, illuminating the room in a beautiful calming glow. They were suspended from the curtain rod of the bathtub, taped to the walls. Gorgeously scented candles perched on the sink, some on the ground, a few tea lights lining the edge of the tub. It smelled glorious and comforting and Aaron couldn’t tell what it was. Pine? Sandalwood? Campfire?

The most breath-taking part was the inside of the bathtub. Patterned sheets hung from the walls and draped over to form a delicate roof. Fluffy pillows perfectly laid out to coat every inch of the porcelain interior, and soft blankets piled on top for added comfort. Lights lined the inside of the sheet tent as well, it looked fantastical. Like something out of a book.

Aaron was floored, to say the least. Was this what Spencer had been doing today? He was flooded by a new emotion, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Spencer had done all of this for him? To make him feel safe?

He was still standing just barely in the room, taking everything in and getting emotional when he heard soft footsteps behind him and felt Spencer’s long arms slink around his waist. A chin hooked over his shoulder and a kiss was pressed to his neck.

“Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?”

Aaron nodded, “You did all this… for me?” A tinge of awe decorated his voice.

“Yeah,” his boyfriend whispered back, “So you don’t hurt yourself when you sleep in here.”

Aaron felt stupid for ever thinking his wonderful, thoughtful boyfriend would ever feel embarrassed by him. Of course Spencer took everything he admitted seriously, of course Spencer cared about what he’s been through, Spencer cares… that's what he’s been feeling. Taken care of. Important. For once in his life, he feels like he’s allowed to let himself be loved.

The stunned man seemed to be frozen in place, not knowing how to respond. His mind was overwhelmed with love for his boyfriend. Spencer pulled away and grabbed the older’s hands, Aaron let himself be led to the makeshift fort.

They climbed in together, careful not to knock over any of the burning candles. Spencer settled on one end of the tub and pulled Aaron into him before he could even think of not cuddling with him. He made space with his legs for his boyfriend to settle between, chest pressed to back, arms wrapped around his love. Safe, warm, and comfortable in a sea of cushions like twin yolks in a shell.

Laying here, in his lover's arms, surrounded by low tranquil lights, and the gentle rise and fall of Spencer’s chest, Aaron felt as serene as he’d ever been. Spencer slid warm hands under Aaron’s shirt, bringing one up to rest cozily on his heart. Aaron turned his head and nuzzled further into Spencer’s neck, feeling the familiar tingle of the man’s touch and murmured a low hum of approval.

Spencer’s other hand, that wasn’t on Aaron’s heart, was used to tip the taller man’s chin up to look at him.

“I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind,” he cooed, “sometimes it’s impossible to take yourself out of that world. But in our home, Aaron, I want you to feel safe and protected at all times. I want you to be vulnerable and unashamed. You’re free to be everything you are in here, and I hope that you feel you can be everything you are with me, too.”

Aaron lost himself in his partner’s deep gaze, glorious hazel eyes boring into him. Completely enamored by the words spoken to him, all he could do was nod and lick his lips, trying to regulate his heart rate for a completely different reason now. Spencer had never been so… authoritative before and his sincere but stern tone sent thrilling sparks down his spine. A blush rose up his neck.

Spencer tracked the slow movement of Aaron’s tongue sliding over his bottom lip, and didn’t fight the impulse to drag his thumb over it. “You’re always safe with me.” He barely whispered before angling his head down to catch those lips in a languid kiss. Aaron sighed into it, waiting a little while before pushing himself up to fix their awkward angle. He positioned them so that Spencer was laid down flat on his back, allowing Aaron to lay between his legs once more, chest to chest. They tangled themselves in each other, lips colliding again like a match to a box, igniting a fire in the both of them.

Both were still tired from waking up in the middle of the night, but the desire coursing through their bodies was a more pressing matter. Spencer lifted his hands to frame his lover’s neck and wrapped his legs loosely around his waist, inviting Aaron to grind down onto him, both already half hard from the anticipation. Spencer groaned into Aaron’s mouth. A sound that went right to Aaron’s dick.

They explored each other’s bodies with a youthful novelty, eager to feel more skin. Never once pulling their lips apart. Aaron slipped his hands under Spencer’s shirt and shoved it up under his arms, digging his fingers into those delicious hips. Finally he broke away from the kiss to pepper the younger’s face with sweet ones. Aaron’s heart grew three sizes at Spencer’s soft giggles and let out a low laugh of his own. How ridiculous were they, making out like teenagers in a bathtub fort? Neither much cared to answer that question though, because the impatient genius bucked his hips up to meet his boyfriend’s, who was still in his boxers, let’s get those off.

Spencer eagerly reached for Aaron’s underwear and palmed at his bulge just until he heard that impatient sound from him. He pulled the man’s cock out now fully hard and dripping with precum. A groan escaped the both of them at the sight and sensation. They wasted no time in getting Spencer out of his nerdy physics flannel pajama pants, and grinded their dicks together. Lighting sparked right through the both of them, Aaron balanced himself on one arm near Spencer’s head and took both of their lengths into his right hand.

The rub of their slick cocks together was spectacular as Aaron kept a slow and steady pace, making sure to draw out all the best sounds he knew Spencer could make by nipping at his neck, where he knew the younger man was ticklish. Spencer whined at the excruciating pace, turning into a desperate whimpering mess. Making Spencer wait was so fun.

Spencer’s hands find grip in Aaron’s short hair, keeping him close, feeling the pull of Aaron's big hand on his dick and grinding up to meet him. It’s intoxicating bliss, being taken over the edge by the man he loves.

Their worlds minimized to just the slide of their cocks and the lips on their skin. The whimpering man felt the familiar build up in his abdomen, moaning freely now as he chased his orgasm, guiding Aaron’s hand with his own to feel his touch everywhere.

“Yeah baby,” Aaron encouraged, his own orgasm coming on quickly, “Cum for me baby.”

Spencer sputtered his release over both of their hands and stomachs, momentarily suspended in the intense bliss of his orgasm. He laid there spent, feeling like putty in Aaron’s hands, and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. He took his lover’s cock in hand and pumped him quickly, thumbing the head of his dick on each upstroke. Aaron came with a groan and a shudder, his arms gave out. They laid there catching their breaths for a while, ignoring the drying stickiness between them and tracing slow patterns on each other’s skin. They were so lucky to have each other.

“How are we going to shower now?” Aaron looked up and pouted.

“There’s a perfectly good sink just 5 feet away.” They laughed, Aaron pulled a blanket over them.

------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @foxtrot91 @physics-magic @ssa-sarahsunshine @hearteyedhotch

#hotchreid #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #spencer reid x aaron hotchner #spencer reid fic #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds fic #my fic #bathtub au

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winterscaptain · 3 years

Text

a horrible first.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: this takes place during rite of passage, where the unsub is the cop committing murder of undocumented immigrants crossing the border. we pick up right at the end, at the quasi-standoff in the desert. let me know what you think and i hope you enjoy it!!

words: 1.3k warnings: language, canon-typical violence and death, reader shoots and kills the unsub, mild dissociative symptoms following trauma, nothing too horribly graphic

summary: “the true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.” ― g.k. chesterton. au!march 2010

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist | what do you want to see next?

You brace yourself for a screaming stop in the SUV, immediately following Aaron to cover as Boyd flies out of the decrepit structure on an ATV, firing an automatic weapon of some kind.

You take a shot.

Time seems to slow as you watch Boyd go down, tzhe innocuous red dot in the middle of his forehead beginning to weep even before he hits the ground.

Derek fires his rifle from inside the car, but the deed is done. Boyd’s dead.

Aaron raises his head. If you had your wits about you, you’d see him counting off, making sure all of you are there. “You all right?”

“Yeah!” Morgan shouts as he leaves the car, but you’re stuck in place.

“No!” Emily immediately answers, turning on Derek. “Are you out of your mind? You blew out my eardrum.”

Aaron’s been there - the ringing is damn near unbearable.

“What did you want me to do? He was coming right at us!”

“I told you I had him.” She’s holding both hands over her ears, but you’re sure that’s not the only reason Derek’s raising his voice.

“He was shooting at us, Emily.”

“Well, you could have given me a heads-up!”

“The loaded MP-5 and the lunatic shooting at us wasn't enough? Come on.”

Aaron lets them bicker, but notices something odd.

You haven’t moved. You’re staring at Boyd’s body, your service weapon still in your shaking hand, your breath shallow.

He approaches you slowly from the side, extending a hand toward your gun. He says your name quietly, but you can’t hear him. He repeats himself and you startle as he gets a little closer.

He’s not as brave as you were when you pulled him off Foyet. He’s almost afraid to touch you, afraid you’ll hurt yourself or draw away from him.

The look on your face also scares him - it’s simultaneously blank and absolutely horrified. For a moment, he thinks back and realizes, with a little bit of shock, that he knows what it is.

You’ve never shot to kill before.

“Hey hey hey,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. He places a hand over the barrel of your gun. “Give that to me, okay?”

Another voice echoes in front of you. It’s Derek, who’s reached Boyd’s body. “Great shot, kid! Right between the eyes on a moving target. They teach you that at the academy?”

You let Aaron take your weapon from your hand, blinking a couple of times. He flips the safety and tucks it into his pants at his lower back, keeping his hands free.

Derek catches on, turning around and sobering.

Aaron can feel the rest of the unit creep up behind him, but he waves them off. They take a few steps back, watching with bated breath.

They all remember the first time they shot an unsub, their first kills in the field. A horrible, wretched first.

“Can you take a step back toward me?” Aaron asks.

You take a step back and trip, stumbling over your feet.

Aaron’s there to catch you under your arms, pulling you close. All at once, the levee breaks and you let out a sob, turning into him for refuge.

He closes his eyes and wraps around you. “It’s okay. You’re okay. You did the right thing. It’s okay.” He huffs, and it’s almost a laugh. “That was a really good shot.”

You clutch his vest, your arms locked around his waist. He keeps whispering to you as the crime scene techs arrive and start their work, shielding you with his body.

+++

You sleep on the plane home. Aaron sits across from you, working on the after-action report on your behalf. He looks up every couple of minutes as if he’s afraid you’ve disappeared in the time between his last check-in and that moment.

Derek, Spencer, and Emily watch him watch you.

“That sucks,” Emily says. “My first hit me hard, too, I think, but like… days later.”

Derek nods. “Yeah. It’s a shitty first, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I’m glad Hotch is over there. Probably the best person for this kind of thing.”

“Best person for the kid, too,” Dave says. Derek and Spencer frown.

Dave continues, clarifying, “Every one of us has someone we prefer when the day gets hard, whether we know it or not. Anchors, if you will. Good to have.” He looks over at the two of you again and doesn’t elaborate further.

You stir, and when you open your eyes, there’s a fresh glass of cold water next to you on the little side table. You take it gratefully, taking a couple of sips.

Aaron watches you orient yourself, check the time, and start your search for your report.

“I’ve got it here,” he says, offering it to you. “You have a bit more to do, and I have to keep your gun until all the paperwork goes through - protocol for use of lethal force with a firearm. It’s a simple review, no need to worry.”

You nod, taking it and thumbing through the extra pages in the back. You’ll probably ask Derek about the best way to fill them out.

Could ask Aaron, too.

Hotch.

Ask Hotch.

“How should I fill these out?

He takes a second, interrupting his own reply to stand and promptly plop himself in the seat beside you. “First things first - tell the truth. You did the right thing and nobody in their right mind will dispute that.”

“Thanks.”

The shadow of a smile passes across his face. “You’re lucky - this is cut and dry. Not all of us get a dirty cop on an ATV wielding an MP-5 for our first review.”

“Lucky?” You sound skeptical, at best.

His mouth quirks. “I know. Poor choice of words. You’ll probably have some rough nights. Do you want me to set up an appointment with the psychologist? The unit technically has one on retainer but -”

“You never use them because you’d rather hold all your emotions right there -” You poke his chest “- until you die?”

The little smile appears again. “You been listening to Haley again?”

“What, from beyond the grave? You bet. So, watch your ass, Hotchner.”

He shakes his head. “I’ll be sure to do that.” He sobers, his eyebrows pinching in an adorable look of concern. “But really, if you want…”

“That might be nice, actually. To talk to someone.”

“And you know you can always come to me, right?”

You nod. “Of course.”

The dull hum of the plane fills the silence between you for a little while.

“I was really scared, Hotch.”

He resumes his listening posture, leaning on his elbow with his fingers laced together.

“It all happened so slow - and so fast? - at the same time. I don’t know. He just… He went down and I was so afraid that he’d shot Derek or Emily I mean -” You take a breath. “I heard the gunfire behind me and the glass breaking and I just didn't want to turn around and find them dead you know?”

“Yeah,” Aaron whispers. “I know.”

“I was so stuck that I didn’t even realize Derek was talking to me - he was right in front of me and I couldn’t see him. And then I started thinking about Boyd and all that hate and…”

You trail off, unable to continue with any degree of coherency, so you ask a question instead.

“Is it always this hard? Does it get easier?”

Aaron wavers for a minute. “Yes and no. It’s never ideal - you know you’ve made a mistake when you have to use lethal force, but you get more confident about making the right call in those situations as you see more of them. You’ve been with us for two years - I’m - No.”

He stops and his brow crumples.

“I was going to say I’m surprised you made it this far, but I’m not. I’m impressed. And proud. It took a dirty cop on an ATV -”

“Wielding an MP-5?” You finish for him.

“Yeah. It took that much for you to pull your trigger with any lethal intent, and even then you didn’t want to. The entire way you were talking about a de-escalation strategy - don’t think I didn’t hear you.”

A flicker of warmth blossoms in your chest and maybe, just maybe, you feel a little better.

+++

tagging: @avengersbau @ambicaos @angelsbabey @arganfics @averyhotchner @bwbatta @capricorngf @cevanswhre @crazyshannonigans @criminalsmarts @deagibs @forgottenword @genevievedarcygranger @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @hurricanejjareau @joanofarkansass @kelstark @kerrswriting @little-blue-fishie @lotties-journey-abroad @mandylove1000 @missdowntonabbey @mrs-dr-reid @pan-pride-12 @popped-weasels @quillvine @qvid-pro-qvo @reidingmelodies @reids-mismatchedsocks @roses-and-grasses @shesbiochem4 @ssahotchnerr @ssaic-jareau @ssareidbby @starsandasteroids @stxrrywildflower @sunflowersandotherthings @sunshine-em @teamhappyme @this-broken-band-girl @ughitsbaby @unicorn-bitch @venusbarnes @violet-amxthyst @word-scribbless @writefasttalkevenfaster @zizzlekwum @iconicc @avatarkorraswife @mooneylupinblack @ssworldofsw @nuvoleincielo @kaemarie23 @violentvulgarvolatile @abschaffer2 @ellyhotchner @rousethemouse @baumarvel @reidtomestyles @dreamsonthewall @jhiddles03 @willlemonheadsupremacy @infinity1321 @messyhairday-me @itsalwaysb33nyou @s-unflowxr @imlottiie @stummdummrumstehen @hqtchner @finnologys @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @hothothotchner

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #tali talks cm #tali writes fanfiction #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

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vanillann · 3 years

Text

unsolved (spencer reid x reader)

a/n: i was watching buzzfeed unsolved when i came up with this idea so enjoy. also i know it’s not exactly right but i didn’t feel like going back and watching the ep so.

warning: swearing, talk of cases, and sexual innuendos

word count: 3.3k

“Hi, Welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved! We’re your host Ryan and Shane.”

I sat in a spin by chair between the two, my legs crisscrossed as I spun as fast as I could with Shane picking at arm.

“This is (Y/N)-“ when I heard my name I dramatically grabbed Ryan’s arm chair, smiling at the camera “a good friend of ours.”

“I had never spoken to either of them before today,” I spoke directly into the camera, the widest smile on my face when Shane gasped.

“She exposed us!” He pointed an accusing finger at me, Ryan slowly reaching out and grabbing his hand.

“We need her for this case,” Ryan spoke mysteriously, as if he was in a mob of some sort.

“Yeah why is that?” I rested my elbow on the chair, placing my chin in my open hand as I looked between the two.

I would normally be shoved in the corner of my desk trying to avoid another weird product video. I didn’t want to wear another weight blanket that made me almost fall to the floor.

“We are doing a case today and from the gossip around the office, you’d be pretty familiar with it,” Ryan said nothing more as he held a picture up to the camera.

I looked to the viewfinder, my eyes going wide as I recognized the mugshot immediately.

“That’s the Reaper!” I pointed at the picture, grabbing Ryan’s wrist so I could get a better look.

“Is that your boyfriend or something?” Shane added, looking over my shoulder at the picture in my hand.

“No, the BAU worked in this case!”

I didn’t know my intense knowledge of BAU cases would make it around the office, but I suppose when you have a printed article of you standing with Agent Gideon and Hotchner word moves fast.

“You actually know a lot about BAU cases from what I hear,” Ryan almost smirked at me and I was close to attacking him.

“Yeah-“ I turned to the camera, thinking I should explain myself before people thought I was crazy “so when I was young my mother had a stalker.”

The room suddenly went from light and breezy to scary and stuffy, something I hated.

“Anyways, when my mother died he disappeared into thin air. I then got an internship here at Buzzfeed and suddenly I was being mailed pictures of myself.”

I felt Shane give a knee a quick squeeze, which made me smile but I said nothing about it.

“It is really bad, I’m not going into detail, that the FBI got involved. Gideon was my savior that day, Hotchner too. Since then I’ve kept up with their cases and Gideon still sends me letters even after he left,” I finished my story, smiling down at the case file Ryan held between his fingers.

“Enough sad story, let’s talk about murder!” I clapped my hand, Shane laughing at my excitement.

“Okay, before we get started with this video I would like to clarify this isn’t a normal unsolved case. While the case was pinned to a murderer, the real unsolved piece is what happened to him,” Ryan got into character, slowly opening the folder and reading off the first words.

“On June 5th, 1996, Tom Shaunessy was called to investigate a murder in Boston. It was a couple, laided into their chair with multiple gun shots to their head and torso-“

“Wait, in the car in Boston?” Shane asked.

“That’s what I just read,” Ryan replied.

I smiled to myself, already knowing the editing that would take place with the black screen and the blue and yellow words floating across.

“Isn't Boston super busy?”

“It has like 700 thousand people,” I spoke up, wondering what color my words would be in.

“How do you just know that?” Ryan looked over his shoulder at me, his eyebrows raised.

“If you saw the article I was currently writing you would understand,” I shrugged, moving in the chair so I could get a better look at the case file.

Ryan coughed, looking back down at the file to continue.

“When another set of murders came in, this time an older couple, Shaunessy, panicked as he found the first victim, Harry Goodwill, watching at the scene.”

“That was his signature,” I held a hand up like a child in class, smiling as I already knew what came next.

“Bingo!” Ryan pointed to me, smiling at my excitement.

“When this happened again, this time alone woman, Shaunessy called in the BAU-“

“You mean the love of (Y/N) life,” Shane cut in, smiling when I hit his shoulder.

“If you saw a picture of them you’d be in love too,” I shrugged, not thinking much about my words.

“Agent Aaron Hotchner joined the team and worked closely on this case with Shaunessy.”

“So this man just texted the FBI,” Shane started laughing before he could get his words out.

“I’m pretty sure there are rules,” Ryan looked over at Shane, looking at me when we tried to understand why he was laughing.

“I’m sorry, death shouldn’t be this funny,” Shane took a breath, making a hand motion for Ryan to continue. I started laughing at that, keeping it low so Ryan could continue.

“After 18 murders, there were no leads. The only consistent thing was he mostly killed couples and he left an item from his last victim at the crime scene. The BAU conducted that he was most likely killing the couple because of his own failed marriage or possibly one close to him.”

“So he started killing because he hated to love? I bet he hates Valentine’s Day,” Shane shrugged, his smile breaking across his face when I spoke up.

“Nah, he seems more like a Halloween type guy,” I shrugged, laughing when Ryan hit his elbow on the table.

“Okay okay, back to the good stuff,” I pointed at the file, laughing when Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Now victims 19 and 20 is where the story starts to twist. Amanda Bertram and George Foyet-“ I shivered at the name “we attacked by the Reaper.”

“Did you say attacked?”

“Yes, while Amanda Bertram was killed in the struggle Foyet manages to survive with serious injuries.”

“So this dude just accidentally forgets to kill him?” Shane almost yelled, reaching for the file to read himself but Ryan moved it back.

“He saw the ghost of Valentine and just ran,” I played on the joke earlier, which made the two laugh.

“The heart-shaped boxes of chocolate really made him shit himself,” Ryan barely got the words out, his laugh slowly turning into a cough.

“We shouldn’t joke about a murderer when we don’t know his whereabouts,” I laughed along.

“Wait, you’re telling me they lost him!”

“Yep,” I popped the “p”, smiling when Shane looked to Ryan who only shrugged,

“You’ll have to wait and see.” Was all he said before he continued the case.

“After this no new leads were found, it was later discovered that The Boston Reaper sent Shaunessy a note that if the investigation was shut now he would stop killing,” Ryan read the words off.

“I bet he ended the letter with “xoxo from your worst nightmare” with a lipstick stain,” I spoke without thinking, covering my mouth when I realized what I said.

“Oh he’d definitely come at you now,” Shane pointed at me, wiggling his eyebrows in the process.

“No way! The BAU will save me,” I shrugged, smiling as I imagined the team busting in the door at the last minute like they always did.

“Oh yeah the one dude, what’s his name,” Ryan started snapping his fingers as he thought over his words “Sp-“

“Spencer Reid!” I practically yelled the name, my smile only growing large at the mention of the handsome Doctor from the BAU team. While he didn’t work my case, I heard a little about him and he called my house phone trying to reach Hotch.

To say I was infatuated would be a small understatement.

“Him?” Ryan pointed at him, smiling wider at me.

“Who is this Reid boy and what are his intentions?” Shane folded his arms on the table like a father, looking between Ryan and I.

“I hope it's dirty,” I blurted out, covering my mouth again as I looked at the camera.

“Cut that out,” I started laughing when I heard Shane wheezing beside me.

“No we’re keeping that, that was quality content,” Ryan was laughing, pushing my chair slightly as I slowly joined in.

“I’m so grateful he works a busy job and will never see this,” I started coughing, which made Shane pat my back.

“Please take the obsession back to murder, please and thank you,” I nodded to the case file once everyone has calmed down.

“Okay okay, the cast went cold after that. No new murders ever appeared and the BAU left the case.”

“Spencer went to (Y/N)’s house,” Shane commented quickly.

“Until 2009 when a murder took place right outside of Boston, a couple killed on a hill. While this seemed like nothing at first, an eye was painted on the side of the door and glasses were found on the victim’s face. The glasses belong to Foyet,” Ryan read in his special voice.

“So the dude got bored and was like “Fuck my promise”?” Shane looked between both of us.

“Let him finish,” I patted Shane shoulder, looking at the file again.

“It was later announced to the public that Shaunessy was dead,” Ryan read, looking at Shane with raised eyebrows.

“Ohh, you should have led with that!”

Ryan rolled his eyes, going back to the file in front of him.

“Hotchner took up the case with his BAU team-”

“Spencer had to leave (Y/N)’s house early to get there in time,' ' Shane pushed my shoulder, my finger slowly starting to play with the little ring on my finger.

“I wish,” I spoke up, smiling at Shane when he shook his head.

“The team quickly gathered all the information possible, slowly putting the eye signature on the car with the sign off on the letter.”

“He didn’t sign it xoxo?” Shane asked, I shook my head sadly.

“Sorry to get your hopes up,” I spoke gravely, my mask cracking when Shane started smiling.

“I was readying for him to sign A like that show!”

I started laughing, my hand covering my mouth as Ryan tried to explain the show he was talking about.

“Why do they have to be pretty liars, am I pretty when I lie?”

“No,” I said the words so seriously I was shocked with myself. We all three started laughing suddenly.

I hadn’t been at Buzzfeed long, I had only made a few friends and I pretty much got dragged into the video when they needed a test dummy. This was my first video that didn’t make me want to rip my eyes out, I actually was having a great time with Ryan and Shane with the jokes and all.

“Okay,” Ryan coughed, finally reading the file again,” Many tried to brush it off as a copycat but Agent Hotchner refused to drop the case.”

“That’s my bestie,” I smiled, remembering the photo I had with him when the local news decided to take pictures of us standing outside the station. The photo was awkward and I doubt he even remembered my case but I didn’t really care.

“Then a few hours later an older couple, Arthur and Diane Lanessa, were found stabbed and shot. When the earlier victim, Nina Hale, was found on Diane's wrist, people started to worry.”

“Wait I thought he left the one dude glasses, who is still weird to me,” Shane spoke up again.

“That’s what I’m saying! He had his glasses yet he’s a copycat? Cops can be so stupid,” I rambled, still pissed about that to this day.

“The BAU split up to find Foyet, who went into hiding after his attack, to get more details. Agent Hotchner and Agent David Rossi found him staying in a house in Boston.”

“Why would you stay in Boston?” Ryan was the one to speak this time, his nose scrunched up as he thought it over.

“Right, like yes I almost died here let me stay,” Shane mocked Foyet, which made me laugh.

“Later that night The Reaper boarded a busy bus and killed the occupants of it. Many had theories on why he changed his MO but nobody will confirm or deny.”

“I think he was made at Hotch,” I spoke up. I had thought about this alot.

“Why do you think that?”

“He didn’t quite like Shaunessy, I don’t blame Shaunessy, but still. He stuck around even when he could have walked away,” I crossed my arms, slightly proud of my theory.

“You think he gave the same deal?”

“You don’t?” I looked at Ryan, his arms shrugging before he went back to the case.

“There was a cryptic message left on the side the bus along with the Reaper eye,”

“Cryptic message? Is this real?”

“Unfortunately,” I nodded, looking back to Ryan as he spoke.

“The BAU managed to decipher the code into a line of Foyet addresses-”

“Spender did it!”

“And how would you know?” Shane looked to me, raising his eyebrow at me with a little smirk.

“Because he had an eidetic memory and has an IQ of 187,” I spoke proudly, as if I actually knew the person I was talking about. Okay maybe I searched them on the internet one too many times.

“How do you know that?” Ryan asked, laughing at me now.

“Google,” I shrugged, laughing when Shane looked up from his hands.

“What does he even look like?” I held up my finger, fishing my phone out of my back pocket. I quickly unlocked it, placing my thumb print and moving on, and tapped the searched bar. I quickly typed in his name, thankful it didn’t pop up in purple because I couldn’t handle that much teasing.

“Here,” I placed the phone on the table, laughing when Shane moved closer.

“He has a Wikipedia,” Shane looked over his shoulder at Ryan and I, speaking like a kid on Christmas.

“You both have Wikipedia,” I shrugged, not seeing the appeal of the whole life on display.

“You don’t,” Shane pointed out. I jokily pouted, acting all sad as I looked up to the ceiling.

“We can make you one,” Ryan patted my shoulder laughing when I smiled.

“Can we say I’m married to Doctor Spencer Reid?”

Both nodded at the same time, my hand going over my hand and I laugh at their telekinesis response.

“Okay finished this case so (Y/N) and I can stalk Mr. Reid,” Shane patted Ryan shoulder and I lightly smiled to myself.

He seemed like nothing but I finally made some friends, I mean friends I could talk to outside of work.

“Once they arrived at Foyet house they found gallons of blood pulled from the back of the house.”

“So they killed him?”

“Just wait,” I held my finger up, smiling when Shane deflated slightly.

“Multiple police were attacked, even Derek Morgan with the BAU. The specific are not out to the public but a nurse claimed that The Reaper stole Morgan credentials,” Ryan read off the paper, smiling when Shane gasped.

“That’s insane, this case is insane!”

I laughed along with Ryan, all of ours eye scanning over the paper now and we waited for the next bit of information.

“After looking over past cases filed, the BAU were confused on why The Reaper would kill Foyet. Their tech analysis did research to induce that Foyet had multiple aliases, claimed he had them to feel safe from The Reaper, actually had multiple assault charges, and his parents were killed when he was six.”

“Oh my, he killed them didn’t he!” Ryan and I both nodded, Shane’s hands flying up to his hair as he looked between us.

“It was him the whole time! No way!”

“That’s what I said,'' I looked into the camera for the first time in awhile, it felt nice and easy with them. The video was coming easy unlike trying to do awkward yoga poses with strangers.

“They managed to trace everything back to Foyet, concluding he was The Reaper. After more research, Foyet’s phone was tracked to Roy Colson's house. A journalist would recently wrote an article on The Reaper.``

“This feels like a Scooby-Doo mission at this point,” Shane sounded out of breath, looking to the camera with wide eyes.

“We got some work to do now!” I jokily sang the theme song, making the two laugh lightly before moving on to the end of the case.

“The local police arrest Foyet at the house, Colson thankful survived. Foyet was taken to prison immediately after arrest.”

“I thought they lost him?”

“If you don’t let him finish,” I joked, Shane laughed as we finally let Ryan finish.

“Foyet was found in his cell later throwing up blood and convulsions. As being rushed to the hospital, the ambulance was ambushed and Foyet escaped. No more information has been released on the whereabouts of Foyet.”

“They really lost him!”

Shane was in shock at the discovery, my hand covering my mouth quickly before I answered.

“I bet he’s working for the FBI, they hire people when they’re too dangerous.” I tried my best to be serious about the theory but I knew my smile was peaking thought.

“He’s probably the BAU’s personal hitman!”

I laughed with Ryan, my chair had slowly moved closer to his as I kept leaning to see the case file.

“Where do you think Foyet it?”Ryan spoke into the camera, talking to the people that would watch this in a few weeks.

“I think (Y/N) should call her smarty-pants husband and ask,” Shane spit out his last joke before the video ended.

“Yeah, Doctor Spencer Reid please call me with information about the case.” I pointed into the camera like Uncle Sam and winked dramatically.

“He doesn’t have your number,” Ryan reminded me. I let my finger fall, thinking over my words before I pointed back at the camera.

“Email my business email,” I nodded. Shane and Ryan both hit my shoulder. both hands going to my arm to cover them.

“Say bye to our favorite guest ever,” Ryan waved in my face.

“Bye!”

I laughed as the video played on my laptop, laughing when my voice was replaced with light green words floating on the screen. I scrolled down lightly, reading a bunch of comments. I smiled when most were asking if I would ever be on another Unsolved.

My phone went off beside me, my hand reaching for it as I paused the video and moved to my email. I was waiting for an email about an article I was writing and I couldn’t stop hitting refresh.

Shane: i’ve seen two ship edits of (y/n) and spencer reid on my instagram already

Ryan: i saw an edit of shane fall out a chair

I laughed at the messages, the group chat the three of us had formed titled “The Reapers Bitches” never stopped as we had grown a close bond.

I heard the little ding from my laptop, also most screaming when I slammed the refresh button and screamed when I saw an email with a little unread dot beside it.

I didn’t think twice, pushing the email and reading over it quickly.

From: [email protected]

Hello, this is Doctor Spencer Reid with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I recently saw a video of you mentioning me and my team about a case we worked on a few years back. While I legally can’t share any details with you in this case, I would be open to speaking with others. Please email me back!

I was going to scream, maybe cry, maybe both at this point. I read the email two or three more times, trying to comprehend what I just read.

He did see, shit he did see it. I heard my phone going off beside me, my hand picking it up and typing without reading what they were saying before.

Me: Spencer Fucking Reid just emailed me

I let my phone fall to my lap, reading the email one more time.

“Thank you Buzzfeed Unsolved,” I whispered under my breath.

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hotchley · 3 years

Note

For your 500 thing: 4 from the angst list with Hotch and anyone else, platonically? I like the prompts you've chosen too. Very angsty haha

Hehe thank you! I chose Reid, because it worked so... yeah. This is not to be seen as me infantilising Reid or as H Crit because it's not. People say things they don't mean when they're hurting. There will come a time when Reid doesn't hesitate and Hotch forgives himself. It's just not written here.

It went over 1.5k... let's just ignore that. Umm... Set sometime between Nameless, Faceless and Haunted. There's no real comfort.

4: "shut up! please. just shut up."

Trigger Warnings: past child abuse, intrusive thoughts, references to canon-typical events and violence

read on ao3!

With hindsight, moving Spencer to the same hospital as Aaron was not the smartest idea the BAU had ever had. Not when traumatic and painful events caused them to react in opposite ways. When Spencer was hurt, he didn't stop talking, so terrified that if there was even the slightest indication that he was weak, everyone would leave. And when Aaron was hurt, he completely shut down, still scared that making his existence known would lead to hurt.

But at the time, they had only been thinking of Derek. He had been running himself ragged, trying to manage the BAU in Aaron's absence, and caring for both his teammates who were in different hospitals, because he was coincidentally, the only person that either of them would listen to.

Perhaps they were more alike than anyone gave them credit for.

So Spencer was moved into the same room as Aaron, because when the team came, they came to see both of them, and it was apparently good for the two patients to socialise with each other and try to maintain their bond. At least, that was what everyone said to them. In reality, it was just easier to only have to have certain conversations once. Especially the ones about Foyet.

Because even though both of them would be out of the field for a while, and had lost so much of the independence they prided themselves on, the situations were not the same and they never would be. Spencer had been shot in the leg trying and succeeding in saving a man, and the perpetrator had been arrested. He had gotten justice.

Aaron had been stabbed nine times in his home, the place he had a right to feel safe in, by a man so evil that there was no chance of ever reasoning with him. Foyet had gotten away, and he'd taken Haley and Jack with him. The only people Aaron seemed to live for, were gone. He hadn't gotten any sort of closure. Nobody seemed to understand that, because everyone kept saying him and Spencer could relate to each other. But they couldn't. And he was sick of hearing it.

But he tried to hide that bitterness. Spencer wouldn't have been shot if he had been there. He would have been the extra set of eyes needed to finish the letters, and they would've worked it out sooner. They would've all been fine, if he had done anything other than frozen when the bullet wedged itself in the wall beside his hair, close enough to make his ear ring painfully. His anger was irrational, and the result of trauma. Everyone else understood his emotions were all-consuming and overpowering, but he didn't. To him, the anger and resentment were just another sign he was becoming his father.

He wasn't. But he would never allow himself to believe that.

Spencer knew that his and Hotch's situations were different. That Hotch blamed himself for what had happened to Haley and to him. That Hotch was hiding how he truly felt, probably to protect him. That things were going to explode sooner rather than later. He just didn't know how much sooner than expected it would end up being.

Rossi had swung by in the morning, and that visit had set Aaron on edge. Rossi was trying to help, he was, but his method of doing it wasn't helpful. It never had been. Not for someone like Aaron, who needed something that was not his best friend telling him how the BAU had been fine without him. Or how the children seemed to be fine. Or how victims could recover.

When Rossi left, Reid took the crutches beside his bed and hobbled over to sit in the chair that he'd vacated. They had both been encouraged to try and be mobile without going beyond their limit. Only Spencer had listened.

"If you want him to stop talking, you can always tell him," he said gently.

Aaron turned away. "He's just trying to help."

"But he's not. I think we can all see it."

"Spencer, I don't know what you're trying to do but-"

"I don't care if you resent me. I care that you're lying."

"I'm not lying."

"Really? So if I asked you whether or not you resent me, you could look me in the eye and say you don't? If I asked you whether you blame yourself for my injury, you would say no, and mean it? If I asked you who was responsible for Haley and Jack going into WitSec, you would say Foyet? If I asked you how you feel, would you say hopeless and angry? Would you?" He snaps.

Aaron stares, and Spencer feels the heat rise to his cheeks. Hotch is still his superior.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line."

"No, it's- you're right. I am lying. But-" he swallows, unused to being so vulnerable, especially with someone like Spencer, "I have to. Lie that is. I can't be honest. Not about this. Not with these feelings."

"Why? You've been put through horrific trauma. I think you're entitled to feel like shit. I feel like crap."

Aaron looks at Spencer, in all his hopeful innocence, and understands the subtle invitation to be honest for once in his life. To let someone else save him. To have a normal conversation, with no ulterior motives or secret conditions. To have someone just care for him because they love him, not because they want anything in return. It's that final realisation that makes him take a leap of faith.

"Because if I let myself feel the anger, I will never stop, and then I will never be any better than my father." The words taste like failure, and he hates himself for saying them as soon as they leave his mouth. Who is he, to do this to a subordinate? To make someone else take responsibility for his issues? He wants to take the words back as soon as realisation dawns on Spencer, but he can't.

All he can do is close his eyes, and pretend he is somewhere else where whatever comes next cannot touch him.

"You know those thoughts don't determine who you are," Spencer says, and nothing about his tone has changed. He still cares about Aaron. Aaron, who has to blink back tears because he always forgets how many terrible things this boy has seen.

He tries to tell Spencer to stop, that he doesn't deserve to be called a good person, but the words won't come.

"I can tell you don't believe me. Well let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a FBI agent that panicked so much during their gun qualification that they failed. And the man that had been practicing them, who had every right to lash out, just nodded and asked if it was his fault. If there was anything he could do to help. And then he trusted that agent with his life. Without hesitating," Spencer said. It felt like he was talking to Henry.

Aaron needs him to shut up. He cannot hear this story. It is his life, so he knows how it ends, but he cannot hear that ending right now. Not when the loss of his family is still so raw and painful. Not when it consumes his every waking moment.

"And after the case was over, he raced to the hospital, and he stayed in the waiting room until his son was born because he refused to leave his wife for a second longer than necessary, even though she had given her blessing multiple times for him to go save people. She said that he changed more nappies during his paternity leave than most men do in their lives."

"Spencer-" Aaron manages to say.

"Abused children can break the cycle. They have broken the cycle. They continue to do so. You said that once. Do you remember? You told Vincent Perotta that not every victim goes on to become a killer. Because some grow up to catch them and you are one of them, you just-"

"Shut up! Please. Just shut up." He doesn't mean to shout. He doesn't mean to make Spencer flinch. He doesn't mean to sound angry. He doesn't mean to say the words. He doesn't mean to do any of those things, but he does, and he won't ever forget how terrified Spencer looks.

He did that. He did that, with nothing more than his words, and he cannot believe what he has done, but he has, and it's a terrible thing. And everything Spencer just said has been disproved. Everything.

"I'm sorry," Spencer whispers, turning away.

"No. No, please don't be sorry. You've not done anything wrong. Spencer, look at me. Please. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean-"

"Yes you did. Don't lie to me."

And Aaron has lied about enough. He won't lie anymore.

"I am sorry," he says, even though it won't ever be enough.

Spencer smiles slightly, but then he goes over to his own bed. He closes his eyes, and pretends to sleep. He carries on pretending when Aaron walks over for the first time in three days, and kisses his forehead, much like he always does for Jack. He carries on pretending as Aaron sighs, and whispers an explanation too honest for repetition.

Aaron truly is sorry. Spencer truly does forgive him. The words are never said again, not to him, but that's the worst part. No matter what either of them do, Spencer will always remember and hesitate, and Aaron will never forget or forgive himself.

#hotchley's 500 #sam <3 #platonic hotchreid #tw child abuse #tw intrusive thoughts

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mediocre-writerr · 4 years

Text

don’t give up on me [jennifer jareau]

JJ x fem reader

Summary: SSA Jennifer Jareau, JJ for liking, is dating coworker Y/N, but what happens when Y/N gets kidnapped by the unsub? Also this is a very long imagine soo enjoy!

W A R N I N G: blood, wounds, kidnapping, slight mention of assault and mentions of death

*not my gif*

The jingle of JJ’s phone going off wakes you both up from your slumbers. You groan shoving my head into the pillow as she chuckles softly.

“Agent Jareau,” she begins and you hear the sounds of ‘mhm’, ‘okay’, ‘yes’ fill the silence, “Alright me and Y/L/N are on our way.”

“No. Nope. I’m staying right here.” you say shaking your head into the pillow.

“That was Hotch, we have a case here in Quantico.” you let out a groan and bury your face deeper into the pillow.

She laughs softly as she lifts your shirt a little to scratch your back lightly. You let out a soft sigh before looking at her. Her usual tamed blonde hair is everywhere and her eyes are still a little closed from just waking up.

You send her a small little smile before sitting up. You tuck her hair that is in front of her face behind her ear before kissing her softly.

“Ugh, morning breath!” she complains scrunching her nose up in disgust.

You place your hand over my heart like you’ve been shot before falling down onto the bed. Your tongue sticking out, “Agent Jareau...only a true love’s kiss could save me. Please help.”

She laughs to herself lightly before leaning down and giving me a small kiss, “Let’s go before Hotch really throws a fit.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, “Fine. By the way you should get used to my morning breath, you are my fiancé after all.” And she chuckles again lightly.

You guys get to the BAU and see everyone in the briefing room. You take a seat next to Rossi as he gives you a fist bump. JJ stood up in the front with Hotch giving him a small apologetic smile.

“Late night last night ladies?” Morgan asks with classic player smirk.

“Yes a late night of sleep that was rudely interrupted.” you look at Hotch and he stares at you with a scary glance and you put your hands up in surrender.

You like to keep the mood light in the BAU especially before or after case. The team deals with dark and twisted stuff all day. So you try to get the team to laugh and smile as often as you can.

“Now that we’re all here,” Hotch begins looking at the both you and JJ and you try your best not to laugh, “The unsub has left us a tape. It was left at the footsteps of the BAU. I’ll play it for you.”

The team turn their heads towards the projector and there’s a victim strapped onto the chair with a mask cartoon version of Prentiss on their face. They look terrified and are trying their best to escape the bounds that the unsub has them in. They’re breathing heavy, this isn’t staged. This isn’t fake. This is real life. Another person with a mask of Hotch comes in the background and shoots them right in the head and then they just stare at the camera.

“So this unsub definitely wants our attention.” Prentiss announces.

“They are very confident that they can get away with whatever they’re doing.” JJ chimes in.

“Like they’re trying to mock and taunt us.” Rossi adds on.

“The police department found the victims body: 24 year old, Maya Flynn. She was a young teacher who just got her degree. She was dumped in the alley by the BAU. Wrists had rope burns on them which makes sense as they were bound to the chairs.” JJ goes on and you look down to read the files.

“Reid and Rossi, you guys go take a look at the body. Morgan and I will go to the crime scene. JJ try to handle the press and keep all of the word of this to a minimum, do not under any circumstance leak the video tape. Alright everyone let’s catch and find our unsub.” Hotch announces.

“Wait-wait what about us?” Prentiss asks gesturing to the two of you.

“Prentiss, you were specifically targeted in this video. We don’t know what the unsub’s game is, but we know that you were their first kill. We need to keep you under watch here, you can help JJ or Garcia. And Y/L/N, you didn’t finish your paperwork from the last case and Strauss is on my ass about, so once you’re done with that we will reassess your assignment.”

Everyone leaves the briefing room to get to their assignments, but you, Prentiss, and JJ.

“Love, you didn’t finish your paperwork?” JJ stares at you with her death glares.

“No...I wanted to go home early.” I reply and she shakes her head before giving me a kiss on the head.

“Finish it up.” she says sternly.

“I will, be safe?” you ask holding your pinky out for a pinky promise.

She locks your fingers before we kiss our own hand, “Always.”

______________________________________________________

“Oh here comes Y/N! She goes for the 3 and SPLASHHH!” you yell as your crumpled up piece of paper makes it way to the trash can.

“You know you’re never going to get any work done and go out on the field if you keep messing around.” Prentiss points out clearly annoyed with just sitting here and doing nothing.

“You’re just mad that you can’t contribute to the case.” you contradict and she rolls her eyes before getting up from her desk, “Where ya going?”

“To get coffee.” she responds.

“Coffee machine is broken. Let me go get us some because I am starving and want a really good sandwich. Plus you can’t leave.” you point out grabbing your phone, keys, and wallet and shoving them into your pocket.

“Oh yes please!” Prentiss screams, “You’re the best!”

“I hope so I am your best friend,” you shoot back sending her a wink which led to her rolling her eyes again, “I’ll be right back. Text me your order!”

You walk the short stroll to our favorite cafe, one you’ve walked a million times some with Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia, but some on your lonesome. The breeze nice and cool, it’s a good break from all of the life threatening and disturbing things we see on a daily basis. All of the kids walking around holding their parents hands. Their eyes hold so much innocence, it’s sad that they don’t know the true dangers of this world.

The next thing you know the world went black.

______________________________________________________

Team’s POV

“Where’s Y/N?” JJ asks as the rest of the team walks back into the briefing room.

“She went to go grab us some coffee and sandwiches, she should be here by now.” Prentiss says and she stands staring at her phone searching for a text from Y/N.

They all sit down around the table looking at the board, trying to piece together every little thing, but coming up short. They don’t even have a profile they could give the local police department. That’s how stumped they are.

Garcia comes running into the room with tears filled in her eyes.

“Garcia? What’s wrong?” Hotch asks with concern laced in his tone.

“I got sent an anonymous video from the unsub. I tried to track down where it was sent from, but it was a burner phone.” she says speaking really fast, that’s how the team knows something is really wrong, when she’s speaking a million miles per hour.

The video starts to play from the TV monitor and gasps filled the room. There was Y/N strapped onto a chair, no mask on her face like the other video just Y/N and her trying to remain calm.

Most of them seemed to think Y/N was okay, but her best friend Prentiss and JJ knew better. They could see the fear glistening in her eyes.

The unsub punched Y/N across the face and Y/N’s head fell back. She continued to spit and cough out blood. JJ’s heart stopped and flinched slightly at the sight.

“Alright now that I’ve knocked the sense into you, are you ready to deliver my message?” the unsub asked, his voice distorted.

“No. You can’t break me, is that the best you can do?” Y/N asked knowing that it’ll hopefully give Garcia enough time to track something, anything down.

Then there came another punch. Her eye immediately started to bruise, “Come on baby. Do it for me.” the unsub whispered in a gross seductive voice.

“Jay,” you whisper, but the room is quiet enough that the camera picks it up, “I love you and for you I’d do anything.”

“That’s not what I asked you to say!” the unsub screamed punching Y/N again, “Now say what I told you!”

“He wants to ruin our lives. One by one, he’s been stalking us for years. If we don’t give him what he wants, he will ruin us.” she says finally following orders.

“Now what do I want?” he asks.

“Hotch he wants the files, something about the Black Hood. I don’t know why, but he wants them. Specifically from you and Rossi.” Y/N says blood dripping down her mouth.

“Good girl.” he whispers, “Now Hotchner, Rossi, Morgan, Jareau, Prentiss, Garcia, and Reid, Agent Y/L/N doesn’t have a lot of time. She’s definitely a tough cookie to break, but I never back down from a challenge. I’m gonna call you guys to set up a deal, you’ll know who it is once I call,” the unsub gets closer to Y/N and his mouth is right by her ear as his hands wander along her body, “And in the mean time, we’re gonna have lots of fun aren’t we Y/N?”

The camera cuts out and JJ releases a scream, “No! No! No!” she begins to pace back and forth.

“JJ get a hold of yourself right now. If your ability to go along with this case professionally is compromised then I will gladly have you sit this one out.” Hotch yells sternly.

“No you don’t get to tell me that I have to calm down. When we went after Foyet your emotions were compromised yet all of still stood by your side. No one questioned your authority. When Doyle went after Emily, all of our emotions were compromised yet none of us were threatened to sit this one out. So you have no right to do the same to me. I am not some local detective, I am a BAU agent!” JJ yells and everyone is taken aback in surprise, but she’s not wrong.

They all went through something, yet none of them were threatened to step down. Especially Hotch with Foyet. Hotch and JJ continued to stare at each other none of them willing to break until Reid chimed in.

“The Black Hood case, that was a case in Riverdale back in the late 80′s to early 90′s. Where the killer went around terrorizing the town focusing on ‘sinners’ and he wanted to cleanse the town. What would the unsub want with the files?” Reid asks and Rossi steps in to try and break the tension.

“Me and Hotch worked together on it. We caught the guy fairly quickly. I always thought that it was too easy, but they just explained we got lucky that he slipped. Maybe we got it wrong, maybe we didn’t catch the unsub.” Rossi points out and after one last look at JJ, Hotch breaks his position.

“It’s always a possibility, but that would make him in his mid to late 60s. It can’t be him now can it?” Hotch points out pointing at the video.

“No, this guy looks to strong and his temper is too high for an older man. Plus he was very sexual towards Y/N, an older man wouldn’t have that kind of hormones.” Prentiss observes.

“Maybe a son? A family member?” Morgan asks.

“But why would they want the files if they know their dad wasn’t caught?” JJ chimes in finally after getting her breathing under control, her hand resting on her stomach.

Something that Emily picked up on fairly quickly, but brushed it off. She’ll talk to her about it when the time is right. Not right now.

The cover photo of the video was Y/N sitting there with blood dripping down her mouth. The unsub right next to her ear. JJ’s eyes couldn’t leave that picture. The picture of you in pain and scared.

“Maybe it’s not the actual Black Hood’s son. Maybe it’s the one who was caught and framed for it. He died in jail recently didn’t he? That could be his son’s stressor. He believed and was told his dad was innocent for so long that maybe he knows it wasn’t him. He wants to prove his dad wasn’t as terrible as everyone thinks. Sorta like an avenger, he wants to avenge his dad’s legacy!” Reid yells at and Hotch nods.

“Sounds like a good start Garcia-” he begins to say, but Garcia cuts him off.

“Already on it sir.” Garcia responds tapping rapidly on her computer.

“I’m gonna get some air.” JJ says and the rest of the team nods, but she’s already gone before she can get a response.

Hotch nods his head towards the door to let Emily know to follow and make sure she’s okay which she gladly obliged to.

______________________________________________________

JJ’s POV

I ran outside the BAU doors and immediately threw up in the bush closest to me, tears pouring down my face. The thought of the unsub doing that to Y/N and watching it made me sick to my stomach. Not only that, but the thought of what he’s doing to her right now.

I felt someone hold my hair back which I immediately tensed up to, “It’s okay. It’s just me.” I hear Emily whisper and my shoulders immediately relax.

After throwing up my entire breakfast I look at Em and she has concern brimming her eyes, “I’m scared Em.”

“I know, but Y/N’s strong. She’s a tough cookie and I know she’ll fight whoever this asshole is just so she can be with you.” she reassures me and i nod.

“Are you okay? I know how close you guys are. You were practically attached to the hip ever since you joined the team.” I ask her and she lets out a small sigh before biting her fingernails.

“A part of me feels guilty, well all of me. I wanted a coffee and her being the sweet person she is wanted to get one for me, but it was also just an excuse for her to not finish her paperwork. But I also know that Y/N’s glad it was her and not me. If she let me go out like that she wouldn’t forgive herself, so she took the risk, just to protect me. And I know she’d want us to stay strong and keep things light, but it’s hard when we witnessed what we just saw and knowing that she went out to protect me. Not just me, but all of us. That could be any one of us right now, but she decided to take the leap.” Em responds shaking her head.

“She really is a hero...” I respond placing my hands over my stomach again.

Emily was about to say something before her phone went off, “Hotch says Garcia just got something. We gotta go back in.” I’m about to cry again when Emily pulls me into a hug, “We’re gonna get her back.”

______________________________________________________

Team’s POV

“What have we got?” Prentiss asks as her and JJ walk into the room.

“Rylan Svenson, 24 year old son of Brett Svenson. This would’ve made him about 12 years old at the time of the murders. A good enough age to know where your dad was at the time of the murders. He now lives in Richmond, Virginia after moving from Riverdale, 4 years ago, and makes the daily commute as a postal worker here in Quantico.” Garcia explains, “No criminal record, but grown up in a rough social environment. Seems like he was a bit of loner in high school because everyone believed his dad was the Black Hood.”

“I think we’ve got our guy.” Rossi states and everyone nods.

“Alright when he calls we need to keep him on the line for as long as possible. He’s gonna have Y/N do most of the talking so JJ?” JJ turns her attention to Hotch, “Can you keep her talking? Try to make conversation, we’ll try to have Garcia track down the call. Or see if we can notice something that we didn’t notice before.”

“I can keep her talking.” JJ nods and Hotch nods back.

______________________________________________________

Your POV

*3 h o u r s l a t e r*

“Wakey, wakey princess,” Rylan whispers to you, he just injected some drug into your arm causing you to pass out, “It’s time for your special call home.”

You can feel your heart rate rising even higher each time he injects a drug into you after back talking him. Your pant leg has a hole in it. He stabbed you when his hands started to bleed from all the punching and then he wrapped the wound. He can’t get what he wants if you’re dead. He sets up the video camera and hits the call button after a few moments the team answers.

You can’t help, but smile at Hotch and Rossi in front of you, “Rylan Svenson? Is that you?” Hotch asks and Rylan has an evil smirk on his face.

“Took you a while to figure it out huh Hotch?” he responds.

“I remember you. You were just a little kid when we met.” Rossi points out.

“Yeah and I told you countless times it wasn’t my dad!” he yells out which causes you to flinch back lightly, last time he yelled liked that a knife penetrated your leg.

“Jay,” you whisper again and you smile at JJ’s face appearing into the frame.

“Hi love, you stay strong for me okay?” she whispers back smiling sadly at the nickname that only you call her.

You’re about to reply when Rylan pops in, “You know I wish I could’ve kidnapped you instead Jareau. It would have been a lot more fun to see them rush to find you especially since you’re pregnant,” your eyes wide slightly at what he said, “Oh wait...no one knows yet do they?”

“Is that true?” you ask your voice raspy and dry.

JJ nods, “Yeah it is. I found out a couple weeks ago, IVF worked, love. We’re gonna have a baby.” JJ’s voice cracked and you couldn’t helped, but smile at the thought of your little family.

“Which is why I need you to keep fighting. I need you to stay alive and stay strong not just for me, but for us,” she whispers placing her hands over her stomach.

Little to your knowledge the boys noticed something in the background that gave away where you were and they were on their way now; JJ just needs to keep you on camera for a little longer.

“I need you to stay alive so that we can lay in bed during our days off or late at night talking about baby names. I need you to stay alive so you can come with me to his or her first doctor’s appointment and we can hear their heartbeat. I need you to stay alive so we can paint their new bedroom and buy cute little clothes for them. I need you to stay alive so our son or daughter can meet their mom.” JJ had tears running down her face now and so did you, your heart rate still rising due to mix of drugs in your system, “Please Y/N. Please promise me that you will come home to us.”

JJ extends her pinky out towards the camera and you do the same. She brings her hand closer to her lips and kisses it softly and you’re about to do the same when everything goes black again.

______________________________________________________

JJ’s POV

Y/N’s about to kiss her hand when all of a sudden her eyes rolls to the back of her head. All of a sudden her body starts to jolt as foam starts to come out of her mouth.

“Rylan Sverson hands up right now!” I hear Morgan yell.

Rylan automatically takes off through the backdoor, but knowing them one of them was waiting out there for him. Reid comes into the frame and releases Y/N from the ropes and places her on her side.

He starts to count out loud probably timing the length of the seizure, “We need a medic in here! Right now!” Instead of going back to counting Reid starts doing chest compressions.

“JJ meet us at the hospital, we’ll be right there!” Hotch points out and the camera cuts out.

I release a loud sob at the sight of Reid doing chest compressions. Garcia and Prentiss escorts me to the car, neither of them leaving my side throughout the entire car ride.

They keep telling me it’s gonna be okay, but I can’t listen to them right now. The only thing I can focus on right now is hearing from Y/N herself that she’s okay.

We get to the hospital to find the boys already there like they promised. They explain that the doctors have her in the operating room right now. Other than her bloodstream, her leg seems like the only part of her injured. Rylan injected her with a mix of cocaine, meth, and heroine causing her brain and heart to haywire. They needed to give her a blood transfusion to get all of the drugs out, it seemed like a simple procedure, but anything could happen.

Rylan Sverson died, he was shot multiple times by Rossi for trying to shoot Hotch for trying to negotiate.

The whole team sat with me in the waiting room. Strauss even stopped by for a little before ultimately having to leave to finish up the paperwork that you didn’t get to finish.

“I’m sorry that I snapped and threatened to take you off the case.” Hotch sat down next to me and said. “It’s okay, I understand.” I whispered back.

“You know like Reid when Y/N joined remember how young she was? A bright eyed innocent girl excited for her new job at becoming a hero,” he begins and smiles softly, “Usually that innocence and that brightness fades with time, all of these horrible things we see on a daily basis it’s only a matter of time before it does. But Y/N has been with us for four years and not once have I seen it fade. From the day I met her I knew I wanted to protect her like a sister so me yelling at you was just a way to yell at myself to stay calm and professional.”

I look up at him and he as tears forming in his eyes. I place my hand on his knee, “She’s gonna be okay.” and he nods agreeing.

Many many hours passed when Y/N’s doctor finally came out, “She’s okay. The wound in her leg is all stitched up and her bloodstream is still clearing out. We got most of the drugs out, but some still linger. So we want to keep her here a little longer for precautions. But she’s awake and alert asking for Agent Jareau here.”

“Thank you Doctor.” Hotch says with a small smile and he nods before leaving.

“You guys can come in too. I know she’d love to see you all.” I say and we make our way to her hospital room.

______________________________________________________

Your POV

There was a soft knock at the door and you saw the team standing there with smiles on their faces.

“Hey guys!” you try to say with much enthusiasm as possible, but your tired state made it hard.

“Hey kid.” Morgan smiles as he got closer before ruffling your hair and your scrunch your nose up in annoyance.

Rossi gave you a fist bump, Hotch gave you one of his nods and a small smile, Reid, Prentiss, and Garcia all piled on top of you in one of the best group hugs you could ever get.

“Jareau,” you say softly as she plants herself next to your bedside.

You can see the tears that are already formed in her eyes, “Y/L/N,” she smiles at you softly and you gladly return the smile.

“You did really well out there Y/N.” Hotch says, “You took the risk to go out there. You knew how dangerous it was, yet you still went out because you knew if any one of us went out it would’ve ended the same way. I wish you didn’t do that and thought of yourself first, but I think on behalf of all of us: Thank you.”

“Woah that was deep, I was just trying to get out of doing paperwork.” you joke trying to lighten the serious mood and the worried looks on their face, which worked, their worried faced turned into smiles.

“That’s the sarcasm and smart ass remarks we missed and appreciate.” Rossi adds smiling.

“In all seriousness, I couldn’t let Prentiss out there and I knew that if you guys took one step out there alone, it would’ve been any one of you. You all mean so much to me I couldn’t allow that to happen.” you say and they all send your grateful smiles except for JJ who just seems lost in thought.

Prentiss picks up on JJ’s behavior and decides to step in, “I think we should give you guys some time to talk.” the rest of the team nods before saying their goodbyes.

After they leave JJ just continued to stand there staring into emptiness, “Pull up a chair, stay awhile.” you say jokingly trying to see that beautiful smile of her, but ultimately end up empty.

“Jay, baby, what’s going on?” you whisper and her gorgeous blue eyes finally lock with yours.

“I almost lost you today. We almost lost you today.” she whispers emphasizing the we in her sentence and you let out a soft sigh.

You scoot over a little in your bed and pat the spot next to her so she can cuddle up next to you. She hesitates at first, but ultimately sits down. Her head immediately goes onto your chest as her leg wrapped around your healthy one. Your arms wrapped her body as she fit into you perfectly.

You kiss the top of her head when she’s finally settled in, “I’m right here Jay. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you or our baby ever. It will always be us.”

“I know what your intentions were and they were good, but if we didn’t get there in time. If one thing went differently, you wouldn’t be here right now and I’d be holding a lifeless body.” she begins to cry onto your hospital gown.

You let her cry playing with her softly, “But I’m right here now baby. I’m real, I’m not a dream or a pigment of your imagination. I’m right here.” you squeeze her a little tighter and she looks up at you. You plant a soft kiss to those perfect lips of hers.

You place your hand over her stomach before leaning down a little to whisper, “Hey there cutie. I’m your mom and I can’t wait to meet you! You’re gonna have the best little family out there. You’ll have Uncle Derek, Uncle Aaron, Uncle David, and Uncle Spencer. Your aunt’s are the best too, Aunt Penelope and Aunt Emily. You also have the best mommy out there, she’s a hero! And me and your mommy are gonna make sure we protect you and keep that little sparkle in your eyes for as long as we can. I promise.” you place your pinky over her belly before kissing your hand softly.

______________________________________________________

You and JJ walk into the BAU to visit the team with both of you on maternity leave for awhile it’s hard to see them. And it was especially hard when they were on a case when JJ was in labor.

You held JJ’s hand in one of your hands and in the other was the baby’s carseat. JJ knocked on the briefing room door before entering, everyone looked up and smiled at the two of you.

“You guys have another three weeks! Get out of here!” Rossi yells jokingly and we all laugh.

“We just wanted you guys to meet our son: Daniel Aaron Jareau or Dani for short” you take Dani out of his little carseat and hold him in your arms.

Everyone gathered around and witnessed the beautiful piece of innocence in front of them.

“Aaron huh?” Hotch asks raising his eyebrows and giving one of his rare smiles.

“Yeah right. Couldn’t have been Derek.” Derek scoffs.

“Or Spencer,” Reid chimes in.

“Or David!” Rossi yells and we all laugh.

“We just thought it was fitting.” JJ smiled at Hotch thinking back to the conversation she had with him back at the hospital.

“Well I’m honored.” he smiles even wider, probably wider than you ever seen it.

They all looked at the newborn in front of them. Each of them taking turns holding him. He had JJ’s beautiful blue eyes, but now they were mixed with your innocence that everyone seemed to love.

Dani Aaron Jareau was just another reminder that no matter how dark and twisted this world is, no matter how many bad things they witness on a daily basis, that there’s always some sunshine or light to fill the darkness.

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