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maximumkillshot · 5 months

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"I Can't Lose You" Part 5

Warnings: Aftermath of a miscarriage, some fluff, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Crying LeeKnow, There are flashes of death. Shock, Grief, There is anger... and yes that's a warning.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters: Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Ok if you read the above, you'll notice that anger is in the warnings... We are going to see a lot here. Hold on, okay? I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE.

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

Previously:

That half an hour never went by quicker. They stood on the phone as they waited, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. As soon as the clock hit 8:30 am all I could hear was wind…

"We are running to you right now!" Minho said.

I could hear the occasional shove and giggle. A few minutes later there was a stampede of sneakers on the floor and as they walked in Minho said "In 3..2..1.." then he pulled the curtain back and hung up.

Now:

Everyone gave Minho a little room. He wouldn't admit it, but he has a soft spot for you, he always did. From the minute you came into their lives, Minho always treated you like a sister.

He held and still holds the utmost respect for you. He trusted you so much. He would fall asleep on you during long drives, give you the keys to his place to play with the cats, he also would talk to you about any and everything.

You still looked pale, frail, and exhausted. Your face sunken in, every move causing a slight wince. You were a shell of who you normally are. He could sense it. That is what made him want to break. Where is his bubbly, eccentric, and lively sister? Where is the sparkle in your eyes? The immediate hearty laugh that he came to know and love.

Some of his best memories with you were full of smiles and laughs. Like when you tried to learn how to cook beef Wellington and you almost burned the kitchen down and all you did was laugh and say "it's the Wellington's fault! I did what I was told to do and it decided to burn." Your smile was ear to ear and your cheeks had the cutest blush to them.

Now when he saw you, you did smirk… but not smile. It didn't reach your eyes. He could feel the hole in your heart. Fresh and still bleeding. He wanted to find where that chunk of your heart went, put it back, and stitch you back together again, even though, deep down, he knew you wouldn't get that piece back.

Minho wanted to put you back together, like what you've done for him thousands of times. He wanted to hold you and protect you, to shelter you, he wanted to take it away. All of it. As the oldest he didn't want to let it show, but he felt responsible.

How did he not see the signs? They were all right in his face. Leaving practice last minute, chuckling and giggling at his phone but refusing to show it to him, even some as blatant as he's going to meet up with a "friend". Minho still replays it in his head. Seeing Soo walk down that hallway only took the knife already in every single one of the boys' hearts and twisted it more. She was mortified when she saw the boys staring at her. Her face looked like it was already white, the blush of embarrassment was clear. He remembered everyone's faces and reactions.

Felix looked disgusted to be in the same room as her. Seungmin was glaring at her, clear that all he wanted to do was scream at her, shame her. Han almost screamed at her as well as Hyunjin. Minho had to cover Han’s mouth while Innah covered Hyunjin’s. Minho knew that they had to listen to what was happening down the hall. They had to make sure that you were okay, that’s why it was imperative for everyone to be quiet. Minho knows it takes two people to cheat, and that fact alone made all of this even worse. How could anyone do this to their best friend? She let herself out with a small ‘I’m sorry’.

But by far the worst expression was Changbin’s. Bin’s eyes still haunt Minho. He was the first to see her walking down, as he was the most on edge in the room. Seeing Soo? That shocked his system, he slowly backed up until he hit the wall farthest from the hall, clearly not his conscious being doing it. Minho could see the fact that Bin was not completely registering he was seeing her. When it finally did hit, Minho saw Bin’s being shatter for you. Minho saw as his eyes snapped from Soo to the hallway. His feet were frozen, he was trying to move closer to the hall again, wanting to move. Minho knew why he couldn’t move, he was broken for you. How do you comfort someone that was betrayed by their spouse and their best friend? He was so shocked, he let his body slide down the wall, hands in his hair. He kept looking down the hall, hearing intently, just in case he was needed but still in a crouch.

He felt a rage building at the memory, he saw himself going back to the house and dragging him here. Watching as he sees his whole life crumble in front of him. Even that wouldn't be enough payment for what he's done.

Then he looked into your eyes, kindness and strength were all he could find. After all of this shit how are you still kind? How are you strong? He thought to himself. If he was in your shoes he would’ve dropped everyone and everything. Yet here you were. Welcoming Minho in. Your broken pieces in your hands, heart still bleeding, your life crumbling in one night, Why are you looking at me like that? He thought.

A look of comforting silence, the want to help, why do you always want to help? Your hands open, showing the pieces, offering them to him…Everything is gone and you still want to give? His chest was getting tight and he didn’t know it but he started shaking slightly.

Your voice mere minutes ago playing, ‘I can’t lose you MinMin. I can’t lose my boys, m’not strong enough,’He felt his being deflate, his soul cracking. Oh… we’re all you have. You are kind, loving,giving, strong, resilient, graceful, funny, and a million other things. Why? Why did he do that to her, why I don’t understand. She didn’t do anything. She only gave, time, affection, love to everyone she meets so why? Why did he do that to her? Why did they do that to her? It makes no sense. He was subconsciously bargaining. Wishing he fell asleep in the car, or he was in some elaborate nightmare… then why isn’t the nightmare ending, he feels his heart breaking, it should be over. He’s scared, not for himself but for you. The scream was real. Bin’s reaction was real… this isn’t a nightmare I WANT TO WAKE UP!.. He already was awake.

Minho was so in his head that he didn't realize that he was crying, he was brought back by Changbin…

"Would you like to touch her? You can, Hyung." He said gently. His touch was equally as gentle, nudging Minho to the bed. Changbin loves you, a lot. A close second is Minho. No one, not even Minho could pin the type of love it is. All he knows that if you so much as get cut he is physically restraining himself not to coddle you. Which has never happened in his life, even with his exes. That’s why Bin is taking such a soft approach to this.

Changbin’s aware that he had no choice but to accept what has happened. He was there when it happened. He saw all of it. Minho didn’t. The most he heard was your scream. Which, given, is enough to understand the severity. Believing and understanding are two things. Believing is the heart. Understanding is the mind. Understanding why a door opens is completely different from believing the door can open. He understood you screamed but his mind didn’t believe that what happened actually happened.

You patted the open space you made for him to lay as you said "C'mere MinMin… you wanted a hug, yeah? I promise I won't break."

You noticed that Minho looked scared. He looked like you had asked him to throw porcelain at a wall. So you said, "I know it's a shock, but I'm here… I'm going to be okay. Can I have a hug or a cuddle please?"

He walked to you and laid down. The minute you touched his skin he started crying harder. He’s a visual person. He can imagine a move before he makes it. That same gift is why he cried harder. He knew how close it was to him visiting a corpse at a funeral home. The milisecond you touched him, he imagined himself touching you for the last time, cold, in a coffin. That sent searing pain through his heart. He had no other choice but to sob. All you did was hold him and put his head right to your chest so he could hear your heartbeat. Letting him know in your own way, that you'll be okay. That you are alive. That there's nothing for him to feel bad or responsible for.

He has been through a lot, and because of his outward nature he isn’t seen as a super touchy feely person, but he can never explain to you how happy he was that you put his head where you did. He had confirmation that you’re alive. It was beating right by his ear. Your heart is strong, you are here. He looked to Bin; whose face looked so empathetic then, as if to say to him I understand. It’s okay.

He held your waist so gently, you could barely feel it. It ghosted over your frame like the sadness rolling off of Minho himself. As he laid there, crying he noticed how close he was to your belly too. That added on yet another level of sadness and pain. He knew you would've made a great mom. You're caring, compassionate, and to top it all off you carry yourself with such strength and grace. He would've loved to see it.

Han came up to Minho and rubbed his leg as he directed the rest of the members except for Bin to hang back. Bin closed the curtain a little more.

Bin told him, "She's going to get better. She's seeing another doctor today a little before lunch and then after lunch, they're doing more tests for her iron count. But she's already feeling better."

Han said, "I know she looks really sick, but she is going to be out of the woods soon."

You said "Just having you here makes me feel so much better," and you kissed the back of his head.

Minho said, "I'm sorry. I should've seen it."

You looked at him and said "It was something no one would have dreamed of him doing. I saw odd occurrences but I just said 'he'd never do that' and here we are. You are not responsible for another man's actions, okay?"

You wiped his tears as he looked up at you, "Are you okay?" He asked with the most broken look on his face.

"I am now," you smiled at him and he just stood there for a bit. Lying on your chest while you combed through his hair with your hand while he calmed down.

After a few minutes, the curtain was opened back up and you were swarmed by hugs, kisses, and everything in between. When everything settled down you asked a question that no one expected you to.

"How is Chris doing?" You even surprised yourself with that one but you couldn't help but wonder how he was.

Minho said, "he collapsed after Bin told us the news."

I.N. continued "Everything from ‘I want to take it back’, to ‘Please God let her get through this." It was clear that he was over even giving Chan another iota of his time and breath. He didn’t tell you or anyone else about his feelings often. That’s because I.N. can come off as unfeeling, very blunt in many ways. He knew that if he were to say what he actually wanted to, it's not only going to do no good to the situation, but it’d also cause more grief for everyone involved. He just wanted the storm to be over already, the more he looks at you, though, the more he can tell that the storm just began.

None of the boys would tell you, but I.N. was very close to killing Chan last night, you see he was the only one in the same room as Minho when he called Changbin. Chris was pacing so much right next to Minho that after he yelled at him to shut the fuck up, he ducked into Han’s room, to talk to him, I.N went with him. He just wanted to hear you were okay. That was all he wanted. He heard your screams, and Hannies stunned silence for what felt like years, only to hear “I’ve gotta go.” Right after that happened I.N stormed out, looking for Chan to kill him, if it wasn’t for Seungmin heading him off, I.N. would probably be in prison right now.

Seungmin said "Oh you forgot about my favorite, ‘I promise I'll make it right’. Like he ever could." His face turned hard at that moment. Understanding that no one can bring that baby back, take that trauma away. As if a baby could so easily be forgotten, to ‘make it right’.

You didn’t know but Seungmin felt nauseous at that sentence. Knowing Chan like he does, he’d probably try to not only convince you to get back together but to try again too fast. That thought is what made bile rise in his throat as he knows that Chan is the type to try to fix things quickly before anything sets in. Just recounting those thoughts made him debate running to the bathroom to puke.

He couldn’t understand how someone could see all of the blood on Changbin, narrowly avoiding death via Changbin’s hands, and seeing the proof that a baby once was thriving in his wife and now that is not the case. Literally because of the shock that he caused. If he knew what he did he wouldn’t have said, “I’ll make it right.” He can’t raise the dead, erase your memory, hell he can’t even keep his dick in his pants, apparently; so how pray tell would he do the impossible… He can’t.

Hyunjin said, "To be honest, none of us care what it does to him because he was the cause of it. He did this to you. To all three of you. We left before we beat him within an inch of his life. We have been waiting in the parking lot since."

There are so many emotions in the room, from disgust, all the way to enraged. One of the people who was enraged was Hyunjin.

Hyunjin was the type of person to be closed off. A lot of people see him as just a pretty face but he is so much more than that. He’s a fantastic vocalist, rapper, and dancer. However, he is also an amazing artist, painting and drawing being his favorite mediums. So when you came around, Hyunjin was very hands off. You didn’t give up though, seeing his studio and complimenting him endlessly on his talents.

It took a few months for him to really warm up to you, but once he did, you couldn’t get rid of him. Honestly you wouldn’t have it any other way. He was very warm and loved to make paintings for you, especially loved studying and drawing your face. He loved the angles and the emotions your face conveys, so some days he’d just walk into whatever room you’re in and he’d start snapping photos. Then he’d disappear into his studio, then the next week he’d bring you the oil painting of your face. Every single one was so pretty and you told him that you aren’t that pretty and every time he’d say, “You aren’t pretty… You’re gorgeous and don’t you ever forget it, My Queen.” His nickname for you was “Queen”. There’s no one as beautiful and regal as a queen, which is why it fits you perfectly.

The first time he called you that nickname you giggled and said, “Hyunjin, you’re the royalty… not me.” He just told you, “Sure Prince’s are royal and handsome. But there is no one as beautiful, noble, wise, and royal as a Queen on her throne. If that isn’t you I don’t know what is.” Him being his dramatic self, kneeled down and kissed you hand, making you blush and giggle.

When he looks at you now he is enraged that Chan did something so abhorrent to the person that he considers to be the most beautiful person inside and out, to the Queen. When he sees you now, your eyes lost their spark, lost their brightness. Your gorgeous skin, pale, dull, lacking iron. Your body, weaker than he’s ever seen it be. Your laugh, half hearted. Your smile, his favorite feature, can’t even reach your eyes… All of this and more made him want to tear Chan apart.

Saying and doing the things that he did and said about you stunned everyone. Especially since you love each and every member and would walk through fire for them. All of the members could see in their heads the analogy ‘stabbed in the back’, coming to life. Both of them took a knife and stabbed you, their sister, their Queen, their best friend. In their eyes, he stabbed all of them, ripping apart the family he spent years creating, gone.

Just hearing what Chan said after he left, Felix got thrown into the memory of barely 9 hours ago, at the 3 Racha house:

Felix asked Chris to join him on the couch right after Minho and I.N. left the room to talk to Bin. Chris was still waiting outside the room and Felix called him into the living room, once more. As soon as Chris sat down Felix grilled him, “Why Chris? She would do anything for you. Walk through Hell and back, face any and every threat for you… And this is what you do? Why did you even ask her out if you knew Bin-” he got cut off.

“Don’t finish that sentence Felix.” Chan looked at him through lidded eyes, rubbing his face.

Felix could still see the marks on him, the hickeys, the light scratches on his back. If he got close enough he could still smell her on him. It made Felix sick to his stomach. Felix got angry at that, “THEN FUCKING ANSWER ME CHRIS! WHAT WAS THE POINT? WHY DID YOU HURT HER LIKE THIS?!”

“She was never supposed to know.” Chris said in a detached manner, “It was just harmless fun! I needed a release Felix, something you wouldn’t know about.”

Felix’s face broke, throwing his hands up, “Oh really? That’s disgusting. YOU are disgusting. You needed a release? How about going to your gorgeous wife and making love to her? Or y’know, go to the gym, watch some anime… LITERALLY ANYTHING OTHER THAN CHEATING!”

Chris said, “I tried all of that, Felix. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

Felix’s jaw dropped, “ You’re right, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I don’t know how we didn’t see you before. This,” he motioned to Chris’ body, “Is the real you… and it’s vile. How dare you do that to her! How dare you make her feel inferior, degrade her in her own home, in her own bed.”

Then Felix said something that he will never regret in his life, “You never deserved her. Bin should’ve been with her from DAY ONE! You are pathetic.” He glared at Chan, who got up to size up to Felix. Felix got up and matched him, unphased as he said, “I hope she leaves you. As a matter of fact, I pray that she leaves you because she doesn’t deserve to wonder what her husband is doing behind her back. She deserves to be pampered. She deserves to be with someone who actually wants to spend time with her and love her. She deserves to be taken care of. Because all she has EVER done for us, is take care of us.”

He then got in Chris’ face as he said, “I hope to GOD that she leaves you for Changbin. That way she’ll know what real love is. And if anything happens to Y/N or my niece or nephew… God help you. God help you and your whore. You both ruined two lives today and I will NEVER let you forget it. I promise you that.”

Chris didnt say anything as Felix growled with all of the base in his voice, “Now…Sit… the fuck… down.”

It was only when Han changed the subject that Felix was ripped from the memory.

Han could sense where the conversation was going and he immediately changed the subject, he started to crack jokes and mess with the other members. After a bit you yawned and reached for Bin, “Binnie…”

He looked at you, saw you yawn again, and he laid down with you, “ok come here.” He said as he gently cradled you. He petted your hair back as you wiggled yourself closer, finally sighing when you deemed Binnie close enough to let the heat seep into your bones.

Han looked and said, “Oh I get it. I am right here, perfect for cuddling and you pick him I get it.” he started smirking at you but leaned over to kiss your forehead on Bin’s chest.

Despite the noise in the room, you were out in minutes. Hyunjin was the first to notice, who nudged Felix, who then set off a chain reaction until everyone was smirking at you and Bin cuddling.

He wasn’t focused on them though, he was running his fingers through your hair, drawing random patterns on your back as he watched you sleep. It was only when he saw a faint flash that he looked up to see Hyunjin with his phone up. He looked at them and mouthed, “don’t make me laugh she just got to sleep.”

But no one was laughing. They always could tell the fondness he had for you. It was so obvious Minho would tell him to stop following you around like a puppy. It was their way of saying that they knew.

That whole thought made his face drop. In his head, he should’ve never let Chan within 100 feet of you. He went to Chan about the crush he had on you first, being one of his closest friends. He was asking for advice on how to get over his nerves and just ask you out.

Chris has psyched him out, though, saying things like, "I don't think she's into you, man. She seems a bit more interested in me. But don't worry, I'll take care of her." And "I don't know man. I mean you can try but if she rejects you, you have to be prepared for that. I wouldn't if I were you though. You seem like the friend type for her. Not the boyfriend type."

He was thinking about how he should've followed his own heart and gut, which are rarely on the same page. Both of you love working out, music, food, nutrition, the list goes on and on. One of his favorite memories with you is before anyone asked you out.

You had invited him to the Han River. He didn't know why but it was a picnic you set up for him especially. He had gotten very stressed out during a meeting with the execs in the company he works for. They had told him to lose weight… yet again. He doesn't feel comfortable at a lower weight. He feels physically weaker, his mind not as sharp.

You yourself had tried to explain to Chan what Bin was feeling. That’s largely because you have always struggled with feeling good at the weight you were at but everyone told you, you were just too big. When you had gone through similar diets you felt like a walking zombie. You couldn’t even think of going to the gym, because your brain just didn’t work with no fuel.

The societal pressure onto that only added to the chaos, and you couldn’t imagine how lonely it felt to be told by employers that you need to cut down, as well as go to the hectic schedules that Bin had to, and worry about making content, and trying to keep at least some of your life private. You couldn’t see him go through that alone.

That was when you had the picnic. He had no idea that you knew about that meeting, but it was actually Felix that tipped you off to it. If there’s anyone in the world who would get what Bin was going through it was you. As always, you knew how to make Bin smile. You set up at his favorite spot, making healthy foods and also packing some of his favorite shakes. When he walked up to it, his face lit up, and so did yours. He ended up playing hooky that day, and spent the whole day with you. It’s one of his favorite memories. Now it's bittersweet.

He was mad at himself at those thoughts, Chris was so clearly into you so he used Bin’s insecurities against him… and it had worked. He thought about how all of this wouldn’t have happened and you and him would be happy together. That’s all he ever wanted for you. That was why he let you go in the first place. He wanted you to be happy.

After about a half an hour of hushed talking while Bin kept you relaxed, a set of footsteps walked down the hall. Just hearing them, Bin’s ears perked up. They had an authority to them, almost pompous in nature. Commanding… he knows those steps.

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@Fuckthinking, @feybin, @1-800-shedevil, @channiesbakery, @channieswhore, @hwangswhore, @seungminhour, @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat, @seventeenytiny, @dreaming-medium, @thunderous-wolf, @hanjsquokka, @moonjxsung, @diddybok, @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz-recs, @straykeedz , @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs, @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox,

@laylasbunbunny,@uwuitsjungwoo, @3racha-soup, @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids angst #skz x reader #skz imagines #skz scenarios #bang chan x reader #changbin #han jisung #Aftermath of a miscarriage #some fluff #descriptions of grief due to losing a baby #Crying Leeknow #There are flashes of death #Grief #anger #shock

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honeygrahambitch · 11 months

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One day Hannibal is organizing his drawings. As he is flipping through the papers, he pauses when he comes across a bright yellow sticky note. There's a doodle of a dog, clumsily done in pencil. In a speech bubble above the dog there is the following sentence: "i woof you, cunt".

Hannibal smiles and sighs deeply. Since then he keeps that sticky note in his wallet.

A few months later Hannibal is doing some online shopping. He is trying to choose a meat grinder. When he is finally decided he asks Will to bring his visa card from his wallet so he can complete the order.

Will mumbles something about wasting money on another meat grinder when we already have like 17.

He takes the wallet and as he opens it, he stops in his tracks when he finds the little note. He had not expected Hannibal to treasure his silly doodle like that. At the same time it wasn't very surprising either. When he comes back to the living room he is having a stupid smile on his face, genuinely melted.

"Did you...did you keep the little doodle i made?" He feels like a 5 year old but Hannibal moves his gaze away from the screen and smiles right back at him.

"Obviously." He says as he can't take his eyes off Will's humbled expression. It's rare. "I treasure everything which is done by your hands."

Will comes closer to his armchair and touches his face gently. "That doesn't change the fact that you are a cunt."

#some fluff #hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series #hannibal fanfiction

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shreeader · 10 months

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I’ve Got You; Damian Wayne x Reader

Words: 1132

Pronouns: they/them

WARNINGS: blood, violence, hurt/comfort, some angst and then fluff

Summary: Reader is kidnapped and Damian comes to save them.

NOTE: Damian is aged up.

After what you could only assume was a couple of hours, a few guys came in. They were loud, rowdy, and presumably drunk. The light that they had brought in with them was painful to your eyes, which were used to the dark.

They’d beaten you. They did it again around what you assumed was the same time the next day. And the day after that.

The fourth day, they had finally given you a small cup of water and a small plate of food containing strawberries and sliced bread. The men laughed in such an annoying way as you scarfed down the food and downed the drink. One of the men, whose name had been mentioned to be Peter, took the paper plate and plastic cup from you when you finished.

You sat back and sighed, ready for the beating you were about to receive as you sat back against the stone walls. Yelling from outside of the room grabbed your attention, well as much as you could give in that scenario. The lack of sleep and the bloody that slowly seeps out of your wounds, through your torn clothing.

Metal hitting metal caught your hazy attention, and you could feel hope begin to swell in your gut. Gunshots started up as well and footsteps sounded throughout the hall outside of your room. You glanced at the men, who stared outside the door, weapons in their hands.

“Robin, let’s check down here.” The familiar voice of Red Hood made you tug on your restraints, especially at the mention of the younger hero.

Glancing at the men again, you noticed none of them were looking in your direction. You took in a shaky breath before yelling out. Eyes snapped in your direction and the men turned to you. One brought his knife down, catching the blade on your arm and slicing the skin.

A yelp left your lips as you curled away from him and then all you could hear was a body thump. Fighting took place in the background, and you peaked your eyes open to see Damian and Jason taking down the other men in the room.

Your eyelids felt heavy and your eyes stung with tears as you watched Jason knock out the last man. Damian's footsteps were quick, and he hurriedly got rid of your bonds before pulling you into his arms.

He stood up, and you could almost feel his arms, which were under your knees and around your torso, shaking. You could barely notice his eyes frantically darting around your face as he carefully followed Jason. “Damian.” You whispered quietly, voice hoarse.

Carefully, you lifted a hand up to his cheek, and he leaned into it with no hesitation. “I’ve got you.” His voice was gentle and had a small tremble. “I’ve got you.”

“I don’t think I can stay awake much longer.”

“No, you have to.”

“Dami, I can’t.”

He leaned down and pressed his forehead to yours, whispering, “You are not dying on my watch.” You gave him a weak smile as your eyes shut, the constant promising in your ears. “I’ve got you.”

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The lights behind your eyelids are dim, meaning they won’t blind you when you open them. Your hand was warm. Your body was warm and there was the slightest pressure against your shoulder. Fingers gripped your hand tightly and soft breathing was barely audible from next to you.

Damian.

You knew it was him. He wouldn’t have let his brothers grab your hand and only he could keep his breath that quiet while sleeping. Cracking an eye open, you looked at him.

His hair and clothes were a mess, but more so his hair. From what you could see, purplish-green took its place beneath his eyes, telling you that he most likely hadn’t slept in a while.

You frowned, feeling guilty for having worried him at all. You slowly lifted your other hand and gently ran it through his hair, stirring him from his sleep. “You’re awake.” He mumbled, voice deep from just waking up. He shoved his face further into your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Dami.” You stopped running your hand through his hair and just rested it on the back of his head. “They showed up so suddenly and knocked me out from behind.”

With the hand that wasn’t holding yours, he moved it to rest on your stomach and carefully grabbed the fabric of the blanket laying on it. “I don’t blame you. If anything, I blame myself. I should’ve been able to get to you faster. I-”

“Damian,” you cut him off, “You shouldn’t blame yourself. You did your best to get to me as fast as possible. You know I love and I trust you. I knew you’d come for me, and I waited patiently.”

Your sleeve began to feel wet, which shocked you, especially when you saw his shoulders shake. “I was so scared I’d lose you.” You melted immediately, doing your best to turn on your side and pull him to your chest.

“I’m here, though. You saved me.” He let out a small, strangled noise from his throat at your quiet words.

He moved his arms to wrap around your body in a tight hug. “Marry me.” He pulled his face out of your chest and looked up at you, green eyes more prominent because of the tears.

Shock flowed through you as you stared down at him. Damian…asked you to marry him? “Are you being serious?” You turned hopeful and when he gave you a fierce nod, you sputtered out a quick response. “Yes.”

The door opened loudly and suddenly as the duo of Dick Grayson and Jason Todd pushed into the room. Damian was quick to shove his face into your chest to try and hide from his brothers.

“Look at little Damian being all sweet.” Dick teased, nudging Jason’s side, who nodded back at him.

You sighed, moving your hand from Damian’s head to rest it on his chest as the youngest Wayne glared at the two behind him. “Grayson, Todd, I will murder you both in your sleep if you don’t leave now.”

They glanced at each other, but with a small smile from you, they left. “My Damian.” You called his attention back to you, earning a soft smile.

“My (Y/n).” He mimicked your tone before leaning over and pressing his lips against yours.

#damian wayne #damian x reader #x reader #damian wayne x reader #hurt/comfort #some angst #light angst #some fluff #damian al ghul #gender neutral reader #gn reader #reader insert #batfam #dc comics #dceu #oneshot

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leighsartworks216 · 7 months

Text

My Moonlight

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

This is a part 2 to My Sunshine. You'll need to read that one first for context. Tumblr link - AO3 link

I play with the headcanon that white is not Astarion's natural hair color. The general consensus was dark, possibly black hair, and brown or hazel eyes. Check out the post I got this hc from here!

I don't know if there'll be another part to this. School is kicking my ass rn

Beta read by @big-armed-mar Thank you again <333

Warnings: graphic descriptions of drinking blood from rats, grief over past friendship, anxiety and nausea mentions, descriptions of blood, drinking blood, hurt/comfort, some fluff

Word Count: 1,596

Masterlist

AO3

Astarion was cagey around you. He played nice, of course. Polite smiles, and violent tendencies disguised as friendly advice. Maybe, with his facade of sweetness, he thought you wouldn’t notice the way he stayed toward the back of the group, or set up his tent just a little further from the fire.

Part of you wishes for the simple way things were, before all this. Side by side in front of a fire, drinking wine and sketching him while he reads to you, with the sorrow of parting for the day sweetened by a kiss on your foreheads. It was so simple, then. So easy and carefree. You were young! You had the whole world ahead of you! And then…

And then he died. And so too did those times.

Maybe they came back with him, came a stray thought. It hurt to dismiss it. Those times would not be coming back soon, if they ever did.

You’re too scared to ask to draw him. The fear of being rejected outweighs the possible rewards. So at night, when everyone has settled and everything is quiet, you sit away from everyone else, you pull out your journal, and you sketch. Seeing him again has refreshed the image in your mind. It is much easier now to put a face to the sketches. You’re never happy with them - his eyes are off somehow; his mouth doesn’t hold the right expression - but you refuse to stop your tradition now.

There are little differences, you’ve noticed, from the old drawings to the newer ones. Aside from the obvious of your style and confidence improving throughout the years, there were details then that didn’t exist now.

His hair before was shaded dark, with simple highlights indicating where the light was coming from. Now, his hair was mostly white space, lightly shaded to give it volume. It had been so long - was his hair darker back then? It was hard to picture him with anything darker than his now bright-white curls, and yet…

His eyes were also different. They were still dark, but in a different way. You’ve picked up numerous ways to give off the impression of specific colors over the years - blue and green were intricate displays of mid to light tones, hazel mixed dark and medium tones, brown were deep with little-to-no variation in shading. The old sketches had his eyes closer to brown than your current ones, that mixed deep shading with lighter tones to portray their deep crimson.

Had you really forgotten so quickly what he looked like…? Your best friend?

After his death, you’d taken up sleeping. It had provided an escape, however temporary. Now, though, you didn’t want the Astarion in your dreams to hold you and comfort you - you wanted the real one to. It hurt to see one so warm and welcoming and the other so distant and reserved.

Tonight was no different. Anxiety swelled in your chest. Nausea poked at your stomach. You’re on edge, like a deer that knows it’s being stalked. Dreams and reality faded in and out, taking their turns. In one, Astarion walked beside you, playfully bumping into your shoulder as you made your way through Baldur’s Gate. In the other, Astarion leaned over you, teeth bared.

When he sees your eyes open, half-lidded, tired eyes staring up at him in a daze, he immediately backs away, caught red handed. He stands with hands outstretched to show he was unarmed and harmless. Well, mostly harmless. He’s shocked when all you do is sit up on your bedroll.

“It’s not what it looks like, I swear!”

You raise an eyebrow.

He stammers as he tries to explain himself. “I wasn’t going to hurt you! I just needed - well, blood.”

The firelight is dim, but the moon lights him up clearly. You see him, now. Pointed canines and two scarred punctures on his neck, with hollow cheeks and too-pale skin. “You’re… a vampire.” He bristles when you say it. “That’s how you’re alive.”

He barks out a mirthless, bitter laugh. “Undead, my dear,” he corrects. “But… yes.” He doesn’t let you get a word in before he launches into his next defense. “I was only going to have a nibble, I swear! I feed on animals, usually. Boars, deer, kobolds - whatever I can get. But it’s not enough. Not if I have to fight. I feel so… weak. If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better.” He pauses for a moment, a pleading look on his face. “Please.” And you can’t tell if it’s genuine or not.

The tadpole behind your eyes wriggles. The sensation makes you shiver. You can feel hints of his mind touching yours. The hunger, the weakness. But it feels half-there. The worm says you can look deeper, know the truth behind it all. You want to ignore it, but your grief begs you to know.

You push into his mind, past the picked-out truths, to find the whole one. He’s startled by it, by you, but you can’t let this slip past your fingers. When his mind opens, you’re flooded with a barrage of memories and emotions. Fear, desperation, starvation, hatred - all surrounding a pair of dark eyes. They command him to feed, to drink from the rat squirming in his hands. You feel the gag at the back of your throat as his mouth becomes full of watery, rancid blood and fur. You can feel the rat still in his hands, drained to every last drop. It is all he will be given to eat. When you finally pull from his mind, Astarion’s face is full of disgust and hardship.

You swallow hard around the phantom feeling of wriggling in your mouth, urging it to leave. You can only imagine what it must have been like for him. It makes your heart ache.

“You ate animals because you were forced to,” you whisper. He can’t meet your eyes. “Not because you wanted to.”

“I-” He stopped. His voice became small. “Yes. Yes, I ate whatever disgusting vermin my master picked. So you can see why I’m slow to trust you.” Maybe he sees the flicker of pain in your eyes. Maybe he corrects himself for his own benefit. You can’t tell. His protective facade is back in place once more. “But I do trust you. And you can trust me.”

“I do. I trust you.”

“Thank you.” He shifts around, hesitant to ask his next question. “Do you think you could trust me just a little further? I only need a taste, I swear.”

You nodded. “Of course, Astarion. You only needed to ask.”

His eyes widened. “Really? I - of course. I’ll avoid the slinking around next time,” he chuckles. “Let’s make ourselves comfortable, shall we?”

You lay back once more. The stars are quickly hidden behind Astarion as he leans over you once more. His hands on either side of your head keep him over you. Like this, you feel small. A rabbit in the clutches of a wolf. But this is what you wanted after so long; to be close to him again.

His face softens. For a brief moment, it’s the face of the Astarion you once knew. Your heart rate spikes as he leans down, not toward your neck, but toward your forehead. A brush of a kiss, barely there at all. As he speaks, you can feel his lips moving along your skin and cold breaths of air.

“Thank you…” He sighs, finding the strength to say what was on his mind. You close your eyes, willing this moment to be implanted in your memories forever. “My dear moonlight.”

His lips brush against your neck. He can hear your heart racing, feel it just beneath your skin. Had you ever been this close before? Surely, you’d indulged in hugs and cuddling with him…right? His memory was so foggy. Trying to go back to those days hurt. But having this experience, right here, right now. He wishes he could lose himself in it.

And then there’s the frightening realization that you’re his first.

Before he can linger too long on how vulnerable that made him feel, he lined his teeth up, and bit down. You gasped in his ear. Blood rushed from the wound into his mouth. It was sweet. Sweeter than any rat or roach. And full-bodied like an exquisite wine. He wanted to drown in it - in you. Remain latched at your throat for another century, indulging and bloating himself on the saccharine ichor.

“Sunshine.”

It’s barely a whisper, but the softness of it pulls him from his feeding. He detaches his mouth from your neck and watches a few stray drops as they slide to the ground. Your face is relaxed; eyes closed and skin bathed in moonlight. Your hand detangles from his hair, and he wonders how long it had been there.

“Did I take too much?”

You shake your head and open your eyes, at last. They’re dulled and out of focus, lids fighting to close once more, but you look right at him. And you smile. “I’m okay.”

Tension leaves his shoulders. What had he been worried about?

He pushes himself up to his knees, and you roll over to face him. He thinks you might try starting a conversation, but all you do is get comfortable and give in to the exhaustion of blood loss.

“This is a gift, you know,” he says quietly. He’s not even sure if you can hear him. “I won’t forget it.”

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spcewild · 2 months

Text

My Missing Piece

Pairing: Frank Castle x (gn!) Reader

Warnings: angst -> fluff, topics of death, violence, corny fluff, pet names, profanities, etc.

Summary: After Frank Castle's supposed 'death' , you were heartbroken. But what happens if the dead man of your heart shows up at your doorstep?

Song: j's lullaby - Delaney Bailey

Word count: 952 words 5,147 characters

You laid on your side, watching the TV screen as your tears glossed over your lashes, making your vision blurry. You brought a hand up to your mouth to stifle a small cry that left your lips. Ever since that day, the one where you lost the man that grasped at your heart and held it in a harsh grip and never let go - you had been lost. Heartbroken. It never felt the same. You hoped that one day, you would wake up and find him in bed next to you, but you knew that would never happen.

...

Meanwhile, Frank did everything he could to hold himself back from seeing you. He was a new man now, he had a new life. He had to move on. But he couldn't. He knew as much. It didn't take the man much to give in and try to see you, the first thing he could. So it was decided. He would see you once more, and then that's that. That would be it. But once he was in front of you, suddenly all those feelings came rushing back, that dreading and desperate feeling to reach out and hold you in his arms. To hold you tight and protect you from everything else in this miserable shitty world.

...

Your hand gripped the handle of your front door, a steady knock being the only thing that brought you over here. Your fingers collected together to twist at the knob, swinging the wooden door open and immediately dropping your hand to your side, your eyes widening. Whether it was in horror, disbelief, or defiance, you were unsure. Maybe all. Frank Castle. The man said to be dead, the man that your heart longed for, was on your doorstep. A hood over his head, with his hands in the hoodie pockets. As you opened the door, his head lifted up, his eyes locking with yours as if you two had first seen each other for the first time again. Everything had slowed down in your head, and in reality for you. You were brought back by Frank clearing his throat.

"Hey."

That simple word was what made everything process and click in your head, tears immediately fogging up in your eyes, your voice slightly shaky as you spoke,

"Frank?"

He stepped further inside, allowing him to do so as you closed the door, leaning your back against it as you stared up at the man in sheer disbelief, tears still fighting at your bottom lashes.

"Yeah... it's - it's me."

Hearing his voice again made a rush of emotions fly through you, pain, relief, desperation. You threw your arms around him immediately, your head getting pushed into the fabric of his hoodie, tears starting at a more rapid pace now, pouring from your eyes, wetting the grey fabric your head was buried in.

Frank welcomed all of it, his hands slowly holding around your waist and back, pulling you closer, the feeling of your arms around his neck being exactly what he longed for, his face now taking its turn to bury into your neck. His hand occasionally came up and combed through your hair, his head hesitantly pulling away before pressing a ever so gentle kiss to your forehead before retreating back to your neck. Meanwhile, your arms clung around his shoulders tightly, afraid he would disappear if you let go for even a second, your fingers digging into the hood that now laid on the back of his neck.

"I thought you were dead.."

Your voice whispered from behind his ear, so soft it almost passed right by him. He shifted slightly but didn't let go of you. And you didn't let go of him.

"I know."

He spoke simply, in his gruff and low voice, muffled slightly by your neck, of which his face was buried in.

"I know, sweetheart."

His spoke once more, now more gentle, his brows furrowing slightly as his eyes closed. Your sobs only slowed down half an hour after, you had now shifted to your couch, where Frank simply held you in his arms, your arms wrapped around his torso as the side of your head laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as if it was an ambiance you could listen to all day.

"Where have you been, Frank?"

Your voice finally spoke, so quiet and muffled by his hoodie that you laid your head on. He smelled like rum and cheap cologne. And you loved it - missed it even. You waited for a minute, long silence being met with your question before you heard a sigh heave from his chest.

"Hiding. Starting a new life."

"Without me?"

He went silent. You could hear his heart stutter, and a small breath of air escaped his lips. You knew he didn't mean to do so. You weren't that blind. But being in his life put you at risk. You knew that too, but you didn't care. You were brought back to reality when hearing his voice start, brass at first, then turning soft.

"No, not without you. Even if I tried, I couldn't live without you, darlin' "

Your lips curled into a smile when hearing this, feeling Frank's hand rub up and down your back, his fingers gentle on your back. His voice usually sounding like gravel to others, sounded like sweet honey to you. Right then and there, at that moment. You knew this man was meant for you, and you were meant for him. Even if it meant facing over millions of fucking cops, getting shot over and over, getting beat, anything. You would do it, and all over again just to be with him. Just to have him hold you like this forever.

And something told you he would do the same just for you.

------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I'm super proud of this piece, and I hope you all enjoy it! I updated my masterlist just a little and will now be doing The Punisher requests!

Happy Valentines Day! <3

REQUESTS: OPEN

#fanfic #headcanon #oneshot #writers on tumblr #x reader #spotify #the punisher x you #the punisher x reader #the punisher #frank castle x reader #frank castle #some fluff #fluff #angst with comfort #angst with a happy ending #angst

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steddieas-shegoes · 11 months

Note

Nother idea: 8 years later, Tommy & Carol apologizing to Steve for their behavior. & for immediately abandoning him when they knew he needed them most.

But Steve has people now who have shown him love, family, true friendship. And while he forgives them its not the same. He doesn't trust them. He is thriving without them.

But Carol realizes that the reason it isn't the same is bc Steve genuinely believes that they don't mean their apology. So she & Tommy actually discuss it and find a way to clear up any misunderstanding & ensure he knows they mean their apology. It works, it takes time & effort but they are once again his friends.

MY LOVE!!! STEVE REALIZING HE'S LOVED AND DOESN'T NEED HIS SHITTY EX FRIENDS CREW STAND UP!!!! I had the opportunity to really give Steve his shining moment and yell at them, but I decided that Steve would just be kind of over it, like they aren't really worth yelling at. Steve didn't do all this personal growth just to let them back in so easily, but luckily he isn't the only one who changed. You know I had to involve Eddie, of course! - Mickala ❤️

-----------------------------------------------

It was too fucking early on a Saturday morning to be woken up by the buzzer of his apartment.

Whoever it was was lucky that Eddie had to go into work today or he would be committing murder at their door.

He glanced at the clock on the microwave, 10:47, okay, so not that early.

They’d had a late night, okay?

If he had a limp to show what they were up to, that was his business.

“You can leave the package in the box, I’ll grab it soon!” Steve said into the mic, hoping it was just a delivery.

“Steve? Is that you?”

He recognized the voice, though he wished he didn’t.

Eight years was a long time to go without talking to someone who used to be your best friend, but when you’d been best friends for so long, certain things couldn’t be forgotten.

“Tommy?”

“Uh yeah, man. I’m here with Carol. We actually were hoping to talk to you?”

He looked down at his almost naked body, only Eddie’s boxers covering him.

“Sure.”

He buzzed them in, not giving them any clue where he was so they would take their time getting to his door. He had to throw on clothes, brush his hair, and try to look like he hadn’t just been asleep.

He rushed to the bedroom, throwing on the first pair of jeans he saw and a t-shirt from the floor. He heard voices down the hall as he was heading to the bathroom, his hands shaking with nerves as he tried to rush to brush through his hair.

“It can’t be that Munson, though, right? Even Steve wasn’t a fan of him in school.”

Steve grimaced at Carol’s voice.

Technically, Eddie worked a half shift when he had to work Saturdays, which meant unless they were only stopping by for a few minutes, he would probably be home while they were still here.

Tommy had always hated Eddie. No one could really figure out why. Sure, a lot of people said nasty things about and to Eddie in high school, but no one else really put their hands on him the way Tommy did.

Eddie joked it must have been because he liked him, but Steve thought maybe he just had a lot of displaced anger.

At least that’s what he thought when he became a counselor and understood a lot of psychology behind why people did things.

Eddie laughed and said, “don’t overthink it, some people are just bullies.”

But Steve liked to think maybe Tommy was more complicated than that, liked to explain away his worst qualities so it made it easier to accept that he was once best friends with him.

Eddie laughed about that too, and said, “kids are stupid, and sometimes we find friends in people who make us feel better about ourselves, but you grew up.”

Steve shook his head, not wanting to think more about it.

He opened the front door, the ghosts of his past standing there, hardly aged, hardly any different at all.

“Come in, guys. Um. Sorry, I wasn’t really expecting anyone.”

They all awkwardly laughed as Tommy and Carol made their way inside.

The apartment was small, cheap rent kept them there so they could save up to buy a house outside of town in the next few years, maybe work on starting a family if they could.

They’d talked about it over the last couple of years, once Steve was settled in his job at the school, once Eddie got promoted to general manager at the shop, they’d save for a few years, have a decent down payment, start looking for a house with three or four bedrooms. Start looking into adopting. Maybe get a cat.

But to do that, their apartment was cozy, as Eddie liked to say. One bedroom, one bathroom, kitchen and living room area all one room, a tiny storage closet. They didn’t even have their own washer and dryer, which reminded Steve that he had to take their laundry downstairs and get it started soon.

Tommy and Carol looked around, but hid any emotion on their faces.

He gestured for them to have a seat on the couch, which was a hand-me-down from Wayne when they moved in. It was “too much” for his space when Eddie moved out.

They sat, though they didn’t look very comfortable.

Steve sat in the rocking chair Eddie bought, the first thing he bought for their “eventual home”, but didn’t rock as he took them in.

He originally didn’t see any proof of them aging, but now that he was looking closer, he could see Tommy’s already-receding hairline, Carol’s wrinkled by her eyes, both of them just a little softer in the face and stomach.

They looked incredibly human like this, like they weren’t some high school king and queen who only cared about how they look and what parties they could go to every weekend.

It helped Steve relax a bit.

“Not to be rude, but uh, how did you guys find me?” Steve asked, not sure he even really cared.

“We moved here to Chicago about six months ago, Tommy’s gonna run his dad’s office here starting next year, so he wanted to ease into it. I started job searching a few weeks ago for a teaching position and I noticed you worked at the school I interviewed at. We looked you up and decided we wanted to come talk,” Carol always was a bit of a rambler, always annoyed Steve when she started in on something that really didn’t matter much.

Carol nudged Tommy, who had been staring wide-eyed at Steve since he sat down.

He cleared his throat and nodded.

“We actually came here to make things right. We were best friends for years, and then one bad thing happened and we weren’t anymore. I know I fucked up with everything. We shouldn’t have treated Nancy like that, or you like that, and we’re hoping you could maybe accept our apology.”

Steve stared at them.

“We were kids. We did stupid shit. We’ve all grown. I mean, look at you! Your own apartment in the big city!”

As if he had been waiting for a cue, Eddie walked in the front door, his oil-covered coveralls already coming off. Steve made the rule after he came home one day to see oil stains on the bed sheets where Eddie had fallen asleep after working from open to close: coveralls come off as soon as he’s in the door and they go straight to the laundry room.

“Jesus, sweetheart, this is the last Saturday I cover in the shop. At least until I hire some competent mechanics. I think I did most of the work all morning. And after doing most of the work last night, I-”

“Eds! We have company!” Steve rushed out, his face bright red at what Eddie was implying.

It’s not that he really cared about what Tommy and Carol thought; Once they realized Eddie lived here, it wouldn’t be difficult to come to the conclusion that they shared a one bedroom apartment because they were together. He didn’t even care if Tommy and Carol were disgusted by him for it.

But he’d be damned if Eddie felt uncomfortable in his own home, especially if they started saying shit to him reminiscent of their high school days.

He watched Eddie turn around, recognize the people on the couch, and turn to Steve with a questioning look.

“Tommy, Carol, you remember Eddie,” Steve said, not breaking eye contact with Eddie.

They were having an entire conversation with their eyes, Steve begging Eddie to just go get cleaned up, Eddie begging Steve to explain what was going on.

Tommy’s eyes narrowed as he looked between them, Carol’s eyes stayed pointed at Eddie.

“Munson?”

“The one and only!” Eddie said, his voice pitching just a bit higher, naturally going to his over the top self to protect himself from whatever they would say.

Steve loved every version of Eddie: the performer on stage, the performer with friends, the soft version of himself that only Steve got to see, the protective version that would fight the world to make sure his loved ones were safe.

He was lucky to have every part of Eddie, even the parts that may not always be the best.

But his least favorite thing was seeing Eddie go into this mode, the one that kept him safe during school, when kids were mean, adults were mean, life was hard.

He didn’t want that for Eddie anymore.

“You guys…live together?” Tommy asked, looking back to Steve for confirmation.

Steve rolled his eyes. Tommy apparently didn’t gain any intelligence over the years.

“Yes. We’re together.”

From the look on Eddie’s face, he hadn’t expected Steve to say that.

That was fair; it took Steve nearly a year just to come out to anyone who wasn’t Robin, scared that somehow everyone would hate him, hate Eddie, hate them together.

But it went perfectly, and Steve rode the high a bit too much. He came out to his parents a few months after, and that went quite a lot less than perfectly.

He was lucky he didn’t have more head trauma from it, actually.

So he kept it quiet, didn’t come out to any new friends he met in college, even after one of them came out to him. Didn’t come out to coworkers while he worked at a cafe throughout college to pay the bills. Didn’t even come out to the bartender at their favorite bar despite the rainbow flag that was hidden behind the bar in silent support.

It was only recently that he started to feel comfortable being more open, and only in the city, only select areas where he knew they wouldn’t end up hurt.

Eddie was patient, maybe more than he deserved.

So saying it outright to the two people who suspected and bullied Eddie for being gay in high school, despite it not even being confirmed then, clearly threw Eddie for a loop.

“Oh, like…”

“Yes, exactly like that.”

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for any response that would give him permission to kick them out of his apartment, their apartment.

But he saw Carol nudge Tommy again, pasting a smile on her face. It wasn’t completely natural, but it also didn’t seem fake.

“That’s nice, Steve. Have you been together a while?”

“Since ‘86.”

“Wow! Since the quakes!”

Steve nodded.

“Steve, can you help me with something in the kitchen for a second?” Eddie asked, his voice unreadable.

Steve hated it, hated that all of a sudden he couldn’t get a grasp of what Eddie was feeling.

It had been so long since he’d experienced this.

And a small part of him blamed Tommy and Carol.

He got up, wordlessly following Eddie into the kitchen area that wasn’t even separated from the living room.

“Not that I don’t love that you’re comfortable telling them, but um. What’s. What’s happening currently?” Eddie whispered as he tried to appear busy, grabbing a glass from the cabinet to fill with water.

“They came to apologize to me. For high school.”

When he said it out loud, it sounded a bit ridiculous.

“And are you accepting it?”

“I don’t think so. I think they’re only doing it to help themselves feel better. I’m not interested in whatever game they’re playing.”

Eddie looked over Steve’s shoulder at the pair sitting on the couch.

“Need me to get rid of them? Just say so, sweetheart. I’ll kick them both to the curb.”

Steve leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips, smiling as he pulled away.

“I got it, baby. Get cleaned up so I can hug you.”

“Just hug?”

Steve laughed as he walked back towards his spot.

“Or more!”

He focused back on Tommy and Carol, who were graciously pretending that they didn’t hear the conversation that happened less than 20 feet from them.

“So, we were wondering if you wanted to meet up for dinner, catch up? You could bring Eddie, of course!”

Of course, she said. Like they didn’t outwardly despise Eddie eight years ago. Like they were perfectly fine with him now, and fine with Steve, and fine with them.

“I think we’ll pass. Good luck to you guys in Chicago, though.”

He ignored the pang of guilt when he saw Carol’s face fall and Tommy’s eyes darted to where Eddie was closing the bedroom door and back to Steve.

“Oh. Um. Well, it would be our treat, if you’re worried about money.”

“I wasn’t.”

Tommy and Carol hadn’t expected to be shut down like this, but Steve knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t accept their apologies, and he wouldn’t expect Eddie to suddenly be friendly to people who tormented him for years.

“Okay. Well. I guess we’ll go, then.”

“Thanks for stopping by.”

He stood as they stood, walked them out the door, then closed and locked it behind them.

Steve made it to the bedroom before he felt the tears spring to his eyes.

Eddie was in the bathroom showering, so he hoped he could get it out quickly. He didn’t want Eddie to worry.

But unfortunately, once a few tears fell, it seemed like they wouldn’t stop.

He got back in bed, burying his face in the pillow so he could hopefully pretend to be asleep, but didn’t quite manage it before Eddie was walking back into the room.

He got in bed and silently pulled Steve against his chest, running his hands up and down his back to soothe him, not trying to use any comforting words.

“I don’t know why I’m upset about a stupid fake apology from people I don’t care about.”

“Stevie, it’s okay to be upset. They were your friends for a long time, and you still have a lot of hurt leftover from them.”

“I just wish things had been different then.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

Eddie kissed the top of his head, and as they lay there together, Steve realized this hurt would never quite go away.

—------------------

“T, I don’t think he believed us,” Carol said from the passenger seat.

“I can’t believe Steve’s with Eddie. Of all the people,” Tommy replied, not even acknowledging Carol’s words.

“They seem good together.”

“I guess.”

Carol knew Tommy had a crush on Steve in high school, they’d talked about it years ago when she found an old picture of Steve with a heart drawn on the back while they were moving the first time around.

She’d been caught off guard, but understood, and was fine with it when he explained it was definitely in the past.

And it was.

But a part of him was wondering how long Steve had realized he liked guys, and what might have happened if he’d just been brave enough to do something about his feelings before things went to shit.

He loved Carol, was happy to be married to her, and wouldn’t want Steve now, but still. The what-ifs plagued his mind on the drive back to their home.

“Are you jealous of Eddie?”

Carol sounded hesitant to ask, like she wasn’t sure which answer she would prefer because she knew either way, Tommy would be upset she asked at all.

“No. I’m not jealous. Steve and I would never have worked out.”

Which may not have been a great answer for his wife, but it was the truth, and they were always honest with each other if nothing else.

“Since I got the job at the school, maybe I’ll have more chances to convince him we meant it.”

Carol was good. Deep down she had always been good. But Tommy always managed to drag her down when they were young, convinced her she needed to be a mean girl to fit in with their group, kept it up through most of college before they finally realized life was better if you just weren’t awful to people.

“Yeah, maybe.”

—---------------------

So, a month later, when school started up, Carol began the task of showing Steve that they were truly sorry.

She would often leave notes in his mailbox in the office, usually just a “have a great day!” with a smiley face, or “let me know if you want to catch up over lunch!”

He never responded, but she knew he got them.

Tommy had issues with his car and took it to the shop Eddie worked at, nodding along to what he said and admitted he didn’t really know much about cars so he trusted Eddie to fix it.

It was entirely professional, but a small part of Tommy was satisfied when Eddie gave him a genuine smile.

—--------------------------

“Is it weird that they keep trying?” Steve asked one night while they were lying in bed.

��I don’t think it’s weird. I think maybe they just mean it.”

Steve pondered it.

Yeah, they must mean it. The old Tommy and Carol would have given up after he sent them out of their apartment the first time.

“Would you wanna go to dinner with them? Just give them a chance? It’s okay if you don’t want to. You don’t have to forgive them.”

Eddie leaned in to kiss Steve’s slowly, softly.

“If you want to, then I want to support you. We’re all different now. Maybe we can look at who they are now instead of who they were, as long as they can look at who we are and respect us.”

“Yeah.” Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Yeah.”

—-------------------

Steve left a note for Carol the following Monday: “Dinner at ours? Friday at 7. Bring a red wine and beer.”

She wrote back that same day with a bunch of smiley faces and a response that they would be there.

When Friday came, Steve was nervous.

He’d planned to leave work right when school got out instead of leaving at five so he could make sure everything was clean and the food would be ready on time.

Eddie promised to be home by six in case he needed help.

And when six arrived, Eddie walked through the door with flowers and a smile, and Steve relaxed.

Nothing would go wrong.

Even if something did, they would be in it together, and they would support each other.

They didn’t have to do this alone like they did all those years ago.

—-------------------

It became a thing: dinner every Friday evening, sometimes at Steve and Eddie’s, sometimes at Tommy and Carol’s, sometimes at a new restaurant in the city.

The first few dinners were stilted, full of apologies and awkward catch-ups.

Then it got easier.

They got closer.

Eddie and Tommy actually became closer than Steve and Tommy ever were. Eddie showed him how to change his own oil so he could “stop bothering him at work just so he could look at his sexy coveralls.” Tommy rolled his eyes, but was grateful to learn.

Carol and Steve would often bake dessert together, catching up on school gossip, the latest who was dating who always entertaining them just as it did when they were in high school.

There were still the occasional moments where Steve thought about how much they hurt him, and Eddie thought about how they might be teasing him behind his back.

But it was rare, and they usually talked themselves out of it.

They were the first people to find out when Carol was pregnant, and the first people to learn it was twins. Carol and Tommy were the first (okay, first after Robin) people to find out when their offer on a house was accepted.

Tommy ended up cutting ties with his father when he found out that Steve and Eddie were together and threatened to cut him off. Tommy had a degree, and now had years of experience under his belt, and wasn’t worried about finding another job, one where he knew he earned his position because of his work and not being the boss’ son.

And when Steve and Eddie were able to finally adopt a little girl in 2002, Tommy and Carol were at the courthouse taking pictures of the new family, their own kids already best friends with her.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #tommy hagan #carol perkins #friendship rekindled #apologies #some fluff #future fic #ficlet #request

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bubbiethesaur · 3 months

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LRA doodles

(Woe, silly doodles be upon ye)

One of my goals this year is to improve my art skills, so I’ve been trying to practice every day. And what better way to practice than to do silly LRA doodles?

#starting to draw sun more consistently #this page was a lot of fun #cw maybe a little spicy?#tiny spice #I might take the singing one and color it one day #they’re definitely singing ‘Sweet Caroline’#some fluff #some angst #some danger?!?#I can’t draw houses I’m so sorry #long road ahead #PleasureBot!Sun #fnaf sun #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #fnaf sun x y/n #fnaf moon x y/n #bubbie art

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icycoldninja · 2 months

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Dating V headcannons

-Big lips. Good for kissing.

-No, seriously though, this dude is the best kisser. Really knows how to work his lips and tongue. I won't elaborate cause I ain't feeding you horndogs

-Favorite way of greeting you is by materializing out of thin air, then striding forwards, snatching you up, dipping you, then kissing you passionately.

-Expect huuuuuuuge cuddle sessions with V, Griffon, and Shadow all curled up on your bed like giant plushies.

-V often needs your help to walk around when he's feeling weak cause sometimes his cane isn't enough. (Or rather he just wants to be coddled by his favorite person)

-Likes to just lounge around and chill with you, reading, watching TV, or whatever.

-Calls you sweet little nicknames like Dear, Sweetness, Lovely, My Dearest, and Sunlight.

-Cuddles you to sleep with all his strength because he knows he won't be around forever, so he has to do all his loving now before it's too late.

-Once bought you a pair of promise rings to further affirm your love for one another--and also so you have something to remember him by when he's gone someday.

-Writes you love poems to express his affection, and also reads romantic verses from certain poetry books on the days when he' having writer's block cause even V's creative jucies need to recharge.

-Loves you with all his heart, and when he inevitably merges back with Vergil, the Sparda son will have some of his memories. He'll understand how you felt with V, so he'll split himself every other day or so, (or whenever he needs a break from Dante his problems) So not all hope is lost.

-V never truly left you; his merging with Vergil is more like long business trips than anything else.

#Dmc #Dmc5 #V x reader #Dmc v x reader #dating headcanons #headcannons #Some fluff #Some angst #Who knows #Maybe you and Vergil can get along #if ya know what i mean #Icycoldninja writes

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purpleyoonn · 8 months

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Dance of Time 4

D A N C E O F T I M E

“A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover.” -Bukowski

Summary: You were finally back in the hometown you left right after graduation, researching the mysterious manor that laid outside of the town limits. Your family was acting weird, and the owner of the manor seemed to know more about you than he should. Everything changed when you entered the manor, and you weren’t sure your dance with time was going to last very long.

Pairing: Vampire BTS x Human Reincarnated Reader

Status: random updates

Genre: soulmate au, reincarnation, yandere themes, possessive boys, angst, fluff,

Warnings: smut, violence, tempers, mentions of death, murder, some explicit descriptions of violence, blood,

Chapter Warnings: more flashback scenes, yandere boys, mc deals with her feelings in a weird way, rage room, mc’s creative insults, not much

Taglist: @psychosupernatural @carolinexkpop @strxwbloody @strawberry-moonpies @dustyinkpages @iamkookiesforyou @anaspectoflife @btsw1fe @yoongisgirl69 @toughbook @yoongibabs @mageprincess7 @dahliasbouqet @wittyreader @peachandmomo @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @m1sss1mp @yourleftsock @skyys-universe @cryingpages @drissteele @dustyinkpages @crushedblackroses @fluffy-canada-pancakes @blaaiissee @iiitsmaria @azazel-nyx @g-h-o-s-t-b-a-b-i @knjkitten @kleirielk @foreverweareyoung7 @lachimolala22019 @namuficxs @94z-93 @kimgmzmc @thenaverse

Masterlist // Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

————————————————–

Previously on Dance of Time:

“Who is Ellie?” Were the only words to leave your lips as sobs started to sound out instead. Their eyes seemed indifferent to your words, despite the sparkle of happiness glittering within.

“You.”

“Well, I didn’t think she would take it like this.”

“What do you mean? You thought she would go along with everything?” Jimin looked at his mate, eyes narrowed in disbelief. Taehyung shrugged, placing his nose in Hobi’s neck as he sat on his lap. He was in a grumpy mood after you broke his nose and Hobi’s vanilla scent always calmed him down.

They had to lock you in your old room so you wouldn’t try to run away from them again. You already broke the window in the library that overlooked the large garden. For your own safety they made sure you couldn’t break anything in the room, not wanting you to try and hurt yourself again.

Telling you everything had not gone to plan, as some of them had previously hoped.

You stood there for a couple of seconds before making a run for the door, shoving your body against it as you tried to turn the doorknob. You had tears down your cheeks, impeding your vision as you tried to leave.

Jungkook was shocked when you managed to get rid of Taehyung’s arms around your waist, the youngest of the coven having widened his eyes at your actions. He might have been naive to the idea that you would welcome them with open arms and soft lips.

You were their mate, and you were gaining your memories back, so why did you try to get away from them? Jungkook couldn’t comprehend your actions. He couldn’t fathom the thought of finally having you back in their arms and you wanting to leave.

“Darling, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Jimin had tried to remove your grip from the door, had moved forward so you wouldn’t hurt your shoulder against the old oak door.

“Don’t touch me you overgrown mosquito!” You yelled as you felt another set of arms wrap around you, effectively holding your arms against your chest and pulling you away from the door.

“Overgrown mosquito…” Namjoon breathed out, a small smile on his face as he heard the insult come from your lips. You still had the same favor for creative insults.

However, the smile left his lips when you brought your head back quick, knocking you and Jin over as his nose started to bleed, crooked and bent. You pushed yourself up and away from them before they could blink, rising to push at the window to get onto the small balcony that laid outside the glass.

Namjoon lunged for you, grabbing your waist and turning you to face him, but you kicked and threw your body against the window, effectively smashing the glass and cutting little pieces of the skin of your hands and knocking Hoseok out of the way who had come to try and block the window as an escape route.

“Darling!” Jungkook rushed forward to help Namjoon now that he had managed to restrain you, keeping you held tightly against his chest, facing him so he doesn’t end up like Jin or Hoseok. Jungkook crowded against your back, making sure that you wouldn’t be able to get away this time.

“Darling, I know you have a lot of feelings right now, but that’s no way—”

“Oh, go put a sock in it, you limp needle!” You growled out, interrupting Jin from continuing his sentence. Yoongi could hear his elder mate’s jaw clench and his nostrils flare as your words set in.

“Limp needle? How dare—” Yoongi cut him off this time, moving to pull the elder behind him before gesturing for Jungkook and Namjoon to move towards the door.

“Why don’t you go and put or littlest mate in her room? Give her some time to think everything through. Maybe she’ll calm down enough for lunch?” He gives you a hopeful look, only for your own eyes to narrow back at him.

“I’m not going to be eating with you! Who knows, maybe this is all a trick so you’ll be able to eat me for lunch!” Your voice fades away as Namjoon carries you to your old room, his grip in your thighs and back tight so you can’t kick him.

Jimin had hoped you would accept them right away, but he also knew that you were not going to just let them welcome you with open arms and promises reiterated from the past. He could sense the frustration and fear in your scent, he could sense the tightness in your muscles and the way your fists clenched as Taehyung held you.

He knew that this was going to be a tough courting period, that you would try your hardest to fight the bond you didn’t realize you had already accepted when you were at lunch with Namjoon earlier that week.

Your dreams and visions of lifetimes past would only get stronger, more potent as time went on. He hated that he couldn’t wait until you were seeking them out, just like you did before. He missed how you would quietly watch him, waiting until the moment you thought best to interrupt him, your desire for touch overriding any other thought.

“Let me out of here,” A crash could be heard as you threw something against one of the walls, followed by a sigh leaving Namjoon’s lips. “You big bunch of dinosaurs!”

Yoongi held a grin on his lips, loving how feisty you were getting. He found the insults to be creative and witty. Simply put, you were being a brat, and he couldn’t help but want to go up there and have you say those to his face as he moves at a punishing pace.

“Well, at least her names are getting more creative.” Hoseok lets out a breathy laugh at being called a dinosaur. “I wonder what else she will come up with?”

“She should calm down soon. You remember how she was as a child. She has to get her thoughts in order somehow.” Namjoon brought up.

You always had issues expressing yourself, internalizing everything and then melting down later when everything got to be way too much for you. You would come home from school crying, needing an outlet to help you collect your thoughts and make sense of them.

It wasn’t healthy, but they would help you with it now that they had you back.

Maybe you could pick up gardening again?

“Do you think she’s run out of energy?” Hoseok asks once the room went silent. They couldn’t hear anything from you now, the floor above them giving no indication of any movement.

“Give it a couple minutes, maybe she is just refueling more so she can break the desk in there next.” Jin quipped; still upset at the way you treated him.

“Oh, stop it. You were the first to mate with her last time. Just give her some time, Jin.” Namjoon brought a hand up to the back of Jin’s neck, giving it a gentle squeeze before standing up from the couch.

“She is not the same person we remember. She is not Ellie no matter how much we wish her to be. But she is still our mate.” Namjoon’s next words were unspoken, but still heard by everyone in the room.

“She is still ours.”

You, on the other hand, were beyond enraged that these men just claimed you were theirs, with no prompt from you, and locked you in a room when you disagreed with them and tried to leave.

You should have known something was wrong when the man who never wanted to be interviewed before about the manor suddenly deciding to talk with you about it. Your “luck” was purely an opportunity for the men to enact their plan to take you.

You had tried to knock the door down, but it seemed to be reinforced with steel. You tried the window and came up with nothing, the glass thick enough for not even a bullet to break it, you guessed. This meant you were stuck, and you didn’t like it.

You had no remorse for any of the things the men had furnished the room with, choosing a pretty looking vase to smash against the wall first. You were in your very own rage room, smashing and breaking anything you could see.

However, when you went to smash a small table into the dresser, you faltered in your steps. Something within you was keeping you from doing any damage to the ancient dresser. It was ornate in design, the intricate woodwork had you stopping and moving to get a closer look.

You ran your hand up the flower design running up the bottom of the dresser, pressing softly on one of the petals by the edge and jumped back in shock.

The bottom panel of the dresser had fallen, revealing a hatch that held a couple of things. You noticed an old hairbrush with colors of lavender and cream, a handkerchief, and a book. You reached for the book, an innate need to see what was inside running through you.

Picking the book up, you moved back over to the bed, your footsteps soft as you did. Sitting in the middle of the large bed, you couldn’t help but to take a deep breath as your fingers grasped the cover of the book, turning it over to reveal handwriting that was oh so familiar to you.

Love does not end with death.

Some things are meant to last forever.

Your own handwriting stared back at you, the black ink peering into your soul and making your heart skip. It was as if your past self knew what would happen to her. And it crushed your soul all the same.

Turning the page again, unable to continue looking at the familiar script, you found old pictures, piercing eyes staring into your own. You recognized yourself within the image; the caption reading “Ellie and Jungkook”.

You recognized Jungkook as the man who helped bring you back to this room. You now understand the look of hesitation as he closed the door in your face. The forlorn look as he struggled with Namjoon’s decision.

You turned the page again to see the caption reading “Ellie, Jimin, and Taehyung. The morning after”. You were in the middle of the bed, with one man on either side of you, looking at you with an overabundance of love and adoration on their faces as they looked over at you.

You closed the book with a huff of exhaustion. You couldn’t understand why they looked at you with the same loving and adoring glance as they gave Ellie. They didn’t know you. You were not Ellie, nor would you ever be.

You could feel tears begin to fall down your cheeks as your breathing picked up. You were so overwhelmed by a flurry of emotions and things you didn’t understand that you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore.

You couldn’t understand why you wanted them to comfort you as you broke down. Why did you want them to whisper words of reassurance, of promise, as they held you. You hated the feelings building in your chest at your own presence, alone in the unfamiliar room. You wanted to hate the way they made you feel at a single glance, but you couldn’t.

You looked so much like their Ellie, and your feelings were soon becoming the ones she undoubtedly felt towards them. But you weren’t her, and you didn’t want to just lay down and let them pretend like you were. You were not her and you were not going to be a replacement like they wanted you to be.

It actually made you mad how easily you were falling for them in the little time you had been alone in the large room. What did they think? A couple of measly items from your past self and an old album would have you rushing to them, declarations of love pouring from your lips?

You threw the album away from you, crossing your arms at your chest as you tried to come up with a way to get out of the room again. You couldn’t understand why you were angry at the men, besides them kidnapping you. There was something building in your chest, something that had tears flowing down your cheeks, unable to stop the onslaught of them.

Somewhere, deep down that you wouldn’t acknowledge, you knew that you were upset that they weren’t with you, holding you like your body seemed to remember. You were upset and missing something that you remembered from your past life, something you never got in this one.

Soon, your angry tears turned into wistful tears, something compelling you to pull the album back to yourself, opening it up again and turning through the pages that tugged on the corners of your mind, nostalgia pulling at your heart.

You hated not knowing why you were feeling the way you were.

-*-*-

Not even the smell of food could bring you out of the cocoon you built, trapping and hiding yourself away from the seven men who made your heartstrings appear out of nowhere, tugging and yanking at them.

It was warm under the blankets, and you knew that someone would be coming to try and get you soon, at least, you thought they were. You had no clue if they could eat normal food, or even drink water. You didn’t know anything about them other than that they claimed to be your soulmates and they drank blood. Oh, and that they seemingly lived forever.

You were right though, soon enough you heard footsteps get closer causing you to bury yourself deeper into your cocoon. You didn’t want to see them and have your heart melt again.

When the door opened, you stayed still, hoping they would think you were sleeping and leave you alone. It didn’t seem to work.

“Darling, we have food for you.” Jimin called out, straining his ears to hear your breathing coming from the bundle of blankets on the bed. He assessed the damage you caused to your old room before moving forward, Jungkook walking quietly behind him.

You could hear their soft footsteps, the creak of the wooden floor giving them away. You hadn’t responded to Jimin’s voice, remembering his name and voice from one of the stupid visions you couldn’t figure out how to stop.

“Do you think she is asleep?” Jungkook whispered in Jimin’s ear, causing your heart to speed up, hoping you got away without seeing them. They both heard your heartbeat though, causing a little laughter to come from the two.

“Baby, we can hear your heartbeat. We know you are awake.” Jimin spoke again, jumping onto the bed and jostling you a little.

“So, why don’t you come out of there and eat your lunch?” Jungkook suggested, only for you to shake your head, inadvertently making your cocoon of blankets shake.

“We ordered your favorite from the diner. The waitress said you used to get it all the time growing up?” Jungkook moved forward, holding the plate of food carefully as he sat on the edge of the bed. He and Jimin were elected to be the ones to bring your food up, Namjoon suggesting you wouldn’t want to eat in the dining room with them. Hoseok almost snuck up with them but Jin had to pull him back to the couch. Instead, Hoseok was elected to go and get the food from the diner with Namjoon.

But in reality, they had all wanted to spend some time with you. They knew if you were in the dining room with them all, more things would be broken and even more feelings hurt, as you still didn’t understand what was going on.

Your heartbeat sped up a little at the mention of your favorite food, but you knew it was just a ploy to get you out of the room, and out of your little cocoon. You felt safe in here, you didn’t feel safe with them. You wanted to go home.

“It’s just Jungkook and I. We uhm, we weren’t sure if you wanted any of the others to come in.” Jimin spoke, completely unsure of himself and his words, and your heart grew uncomfortable in your chest. These stupid feelings had you wanting to pull the man into your cocoon with you, make him feel safe.

Slowly, you pull the banket that was covering your face down, seeing it was in fact, just Jungkook and Jimin, Jungkook holding your favorite comfort food. The bowl of homemade macaroni and cheese with bacon crumbles on top smelled just like you remembered, and it made you feel even more at ease with the two vampires.

“We thought it might make you feel more comfortable if you ate in here… we can leave if you want?” Jimin’s voice sounded sad, yet hopeful as he finished his sentence. Jungkook had already handed the food to you once you managed to get yourself out of you small cocoon. Neither of the mates wanted to leave you alone again, but they would if you wanted them to.

However, now that your fear, and accompanying adrenalin, had subsided, you were tired, both physically and mentally and all you wanted was to be cuddled and held like when you were younger. You were so exhausted that you went with your instincts and let them stay, even pulling them into your half cocoon and practically laid on Jungkook as you slowly fed yourself.

You started to trust the two with your whole body, not just what memories and feelings you were receiving from your supposed past life. Despite your inner reluctance and fear, you fell asleep with them in your bed after you’re your tummy was full and your body cozy and warm..

#bts #bts au #bts historian au #bts vampire #bts vampire au #bts soulmate #bts soulmate au #soulmates #soul bond #bts reincarnation #reincarnated mc #historian mc #angst #some fluff #purpleyoonn #dance of time #possessive bts

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coconutki · 6 months

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Getou as bf (with a blk s/o)

Yuppp there’s nsfw at the end ‼️

- [ ] The sweetest honestly

- [ ] Thinks you’re a Angel (ur HIS Angel)

- [ ] Very interested in your hair and haircare routine + skincare

- [ ] He’ll definitely help u on wash day when you feel comfortable enough to have him all in ur hair (I have 4c I’d literally cry myself to sleep but I’d appreciate it)

- [ ] Or he’ll watch u while you do it yourself

- [ ] Loves the hair products you use cause they smell nice like fruits/ tropical stuff / fresh

- [ ] Will catch him playing with your curls and springing them

- [ ] Don’t let him catch you in a 40” inch buss down (or long braids) cause he might pull on it when y’all f-

- [ ] He loves all ur hairstyles tbh

- [ ] Y’all cook togetherrr a lott Ik y’all be throwing downn on holidays

- [ ] Anyone who looks at you weird gets a death stare forreal

- [ ] Gojo will fuck with u just to get a reaction out of geto *gone wrong*

- [ ] If you ever feel ugly..don’t cause he will be there and hype u up in his own way

- [ ] I don’t see him being a PDA person besides maybe holding hands or a quick peck when no one’s around

- [ ] Even if ur a non sorcerer idk he might just accept it cause you fine you sexy you cool *in 21 savage voice*

- [ ] He likes buying things for you then not saying anything. you’ll come home from a busy day and hours later notice something new and be like when did we get this??? And he’ll just smile at you and go about his business lol.

- [ ] He fr lovestruck asf might pretend he’s not at first

- [ ] Definitely would leave his shirt at ur place just so you could wear it and get your scent all over it before he takes it back

- [ ] Between me and you….he be sniffing it when ur not around don’t tell nobody

(Just imagined him sniffing the shirt like tsukiyama sniffing that handkerchief with kaneki’s blood on it 💀)

- [ ] “Need anything angel?”

- [ ] He will be behind you with his hands on your hips or sides while u cook

- [ ] Isn’t particularly clingy (like gojo) but loves your touch and your company

- [ ] I could see him kissing the nape of your neck so he can get your attention when he’s….yk

….

NSFW

….

- [ ] Slanging that MEAT STIC- my bad

- [ ] He will kiss on you a whole lott

- [ ] Might start stripping you at anyplace in the house.

- [ ] “must be hot with those clothes on”

- [ ] He would laugh when he says it but he’s looking at you like a Wendy’s 5 for 5 on a Saturday night.

- [ ] “You’re so gorgeous yk that? Come here.”

- [ ] He’s a bit prideful ngl but not so much that he won’t eat out the love of his life 💕

- [ ] Loves when you rough him up a bit while he’s doin it too

- [ ] He’s giving you immaculate back shots and he will put his fingers in your mouth while he’s doing it

- [ ] Mirror sex asf

- [ ] into hair pulling but ofc he won’t do it hard cause he know better than to make a mf bald 💀

- [ ] “What’s wrong? You were saying you could take it only a little while ago sweetheart~” he would whisper in that velvety voice as you pounds into your hole unrelentingly. His long fingers coated with your saliva while he forced you to watch your helpless expression in the mirror.

- [ ] he’s sure to make sure you can actually take him before he does anything Fr he’s real gentle and loving when y’all take it slowly or the first time y’all did it.

#headcanon #black reader #anime x reader #some smut #blackreader #some fluff #geto suguru #jjk x black reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x y/n

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maximumkillshot · 5 months

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"I Can't Lose You" Part 4

Warnings: Not as bad as the last 2 but here we go! , Aftermath of a miscarriage, some fluff, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Crying Lixie, Hannie, and Binnie. Shock, Grief, slight panic, fear of abandonment.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters: OC Doctor Number 2, Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Okay so this one is different from the other three, we are in a sort of lull in the angst with this one. It's time to be in Bin's head for a bit. Let's just say... this is a "building" chapter. It's time for some fluff as well... IF YOU WANT MORE TELL ME!

Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

PREVIOUSLY:

“And you? How’re you doing?” Bin asked. He knows Han has anxiety, seeing all of this and being as strong as he’s been is not easy.

“I’m… Out of all people, Bin.” Han shook his head. Han has known Chan the longest and he would’ve never expected him to do this.

“I know”

“Please tell me you didn’t hit him.” Han said.

“Nah… She needs me more than I need to beat him to a pulp… I don’t think he’ll be bothering her anymore though.” That’s at least what Bin hopes. Everything is so raw. A little less than 6 hours before this you were at a restaurant to celebrate your 3rd anniversary. Now everything was all wrong, a nightmare incarnate and no one can wake up from reality.

“Hyung… She can’t go back to that house.” Han said as he took a deep breath.

“I know. All I know is that we'll do what she’s comfortable with.”

“Agreed…Bin?” Han asked.

“Yeah?”

“It should’ve been you with her from the beginning.” Han looked to Bin, a look of understanding and empathy for Bin. Han could always see the way Bin looked at you when no one else was looking. Everything you said would be committed to his memory, even the smallest things like which brand of sesame oil you like best for your bulgogi marinade.

“I know. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be here for her from now on.”

Han just smiled and both of them went back into the room.

NOW:

Bin POV:

That night was terrible. Every 20 or so minutes, Y/N would twist and turn in pain as the contractions continued to decimate her. After about 5 agonizing hours, they started to subside, now a much duller version of what they once were, at least that’s what she tells me. Felix and Hannie were so strong through it all and helped in any way they could. Feeding her ice chips, holding her hand, even something as simple as massaging her legs helped a great deal. There were no questions, no arguments, and most of all no mention of Chris.

There were some points where she needed all of us. Hannie and I held one hand each, and Felix rubbed her back. When she finally went to bed, well more like collapsed from exhaustion, the sun was out and the clock read 7:00 a.m.

As soon as we were sure she was out cold, that was when we had permission to collapse. First was Felix. I noticed his eyes getting red as he looked at Hannie, and then back to me. "This isn't fair," he petted her leg and tucked her in, trying to comfort her, even though she was completely dead to the world. "She didn't deserve this… they didn't deserve this…" At this point, tears are falling on the blanket freely. All I could do was walk over to him and hug him. I moved us back a little and closed the privacy curtain so that if she did wake up, she couldn't see Lix like this. Felix did his best to cry silently.

He was trying so hard to mute himself as he whispered into my shoulder, "I didn't get to hold the baby, Hyung… we didn't get to spoil the baby, change the baby… look into their eyes, hear them giggle."

I know that feeling. I also wondered what the baby was going to look like. I would’ve bet the baby would’ve had her eyes. What if her quirks were another thing the baby would’ve inherited? Would they giggle at situational humor? Or maybe they would've had her sarcasm? That smile that’d light up a room? That used to light up a room.

I heard Han losing it behind me as well at what Felix was saying.

"S'not fair Hyung… deserved better…both of them did," Felix was doing everything to stay silent, even covering his mouth, trying to smother the sobs before they left his mouth.

"I know… I know" was all I could say. She deserved so much more. She deserved so much more than to be cheated on. She deserved more than to lose her child. She deserves to be pampered, kept safe, loved. The fact that life is this cruel, regardless of the person, that also hit me hard. All she ever wants to do is help. That’s it. So why is she getting punished like this? Why does she have to pay for the sins of her husband? What sense does that make? It doesn’t.

Han’s footsteps caught my attention. As he walked to us I could see in his eyes he was losing it too. His eyes brimming with tears. I could tell, he felt like I did. Helpless. Scared. Broken. He looked at Y/N as he walked towards us. Hannie seems like the type that would cry easily. He’s not. He really only cries when he’s angry, hurt, or frustrated. Otherwise he doesn’t cry in front of people. That’s why he doesn’t watch animated movies with me for the most part. He doesn’t want to cry in front of people. So seeing him like this…

I just opened my arms to him and he walked into them, huddling with Lix, his voice breaking, "There was so much blood, I can't…. She almost died because he was stupid and childish… a fucking coward… we almost lost her… our girl… Bin…" Hannie gripped into my hoodie, trying to ground himself. We always call Y/N our girl. Chris was always working, always distracted, always this or that. It’d take a toll on her. I would tell Chris to stop, to go home, spend time with her. I told him the tracks can wait, that she deserved to have him present for at least an hour or two. He’d always say that he could do ‘better things’ with his time. You’d think that he’d see his own wife as a person that he loves instead of a waste of time, that should’ve been the first red flag right there.

Eventually, Han and I just started leaving his ass at the studio, picking up some food and making a “friend date night” with Y/N. We’d pile up in Han’s room, we’d watch anime, horror movies, or sometimes, just be around her. The first time we did that was a year into the marriage, when we did, she started to tear up. When we asked why she said that she hadn’t seen Chris. Always asleep before he got home and always awake long after he left. Even thinking about it now gives me chills, how could he leave a gem like Y/N at home? Knowing she’s waiting for him. Seeing her face that night squeezed my heart. I could tell that day that Han felt the same way.

After that we always made sure to be home early every Friday and Saturday, and to clear the schedules for the most part on Sundays; Friday was movie night, Saturday was game or anime night, and Sunday was cooking date night, where we picked a recipe and made it together. Eventually Felix and Minho got in on it too, because what’s dinner without dessert and Minho said he wanted to make sure we were doing it correctly. Han and I knew the truth. We love spending time with her. It is that simple.

I felt Han and Lix’s tears soaking through my hoodie. I have never felt this helpless in my life. Y/N almost died in my arms, her baby is gone, Lix is mourning and sobbing on me, now Han is finally releasing some of what he’s feeling. All of these things I can’t control. I can’t help with any of it. The only thing that I can really do is be there for them. Even though, in my eyes, that isn’t a lot.

"I know we almost lost her… but she's here, you see? She's right here." I had them peek through the curtain to see her sleeping form and they both looked at her. "You know what else? A doctor told me that a pregnant woman carries some fetal cells & DNA even after they give birth." I said as both went back to gripping me again behind the curtain.

I continued, "That means that even though the baby didn't make it, that DNA still lives on in her." Just reiterating that fact, I even started crying. When the attending doctor told me that, Lix and Han were sleeping, while Y/N was in the bathroom, with one of the nurses. The doctor came in to check on her and they found me, on the verge of tears, trying to will them away. It was around 4am. The doctor is married to the same doctor that saved her life in the ER.

She was very kind with soft eyes. The doctor knocked on the bathroom door to notify the nurse to take as long as they needed. Then she turned her attention to me. They asked me to follow her and we went into a consolation room.

“The chart says you’re family… But family doesn’t cry like that.” The doctor said as we sat across from each other. “I’m here to listen. Y/N wasn’t the only one who went through a trauma today.”

I couldn’t hold it anymore as I started to sob. Something about the doctor's presence permitted that, “I should’ve protected her from him. Right after they got married he disappeared. He’s my best friend, well was my best friend …” After that I couldn’t stop. I told her how I felt about him, how I felt responsible for it all, how helpless I felt, how it all would’ve been different. I even told her what I almost did to him, how my brain can’t wrap around how she must be feeling, knowing it’d hurt too much. I didn’t leave out one detail as I sobbed.

She held my hand across the table, “You could’ve never predicted this. This is something that is unimaginable. You trusted him with her, and she’s your heart. That in and of itself takes courage, it shows that you truly love her. To put her happiness over everything else. There is a fact that I think is a small consolation, maybe it’ll bring you comfort…”That was when she told me the fact that I just told the boys.

"Binnie?" She asked and immediately I responded as my head snapped to the privacy curtain. I tried to keep my voice as steady as I could make it so that she didn’t get worried needlessly.

"Yes?" I asked as I let Han and Felix go.

"Can I have cuddles, please?" She asked. I immediately took off my hoodie, leaving me in my black sleeveless shirt, and went through the curtain. I saw her face relax when she saw me. It must’ve been scary after everything to wake up alone like that. I also saw her trying to shift in the bed to make room. I went to the other side to help her.

“Don’t worry, let me help you. I got you.” I cooed as I lifted her and helped her make room for me. Within seconds I got in the hospital bed with her.

"How could I say no to cuddles? Come here." I tried to be as gentle as possible with her as I cradled her. I could see in the way her body moves, it’s so sore. It was basically pushing fruitlessly for 5 hours straight after nearly bleeding to death. Her muscles had to be screaming every time she moved, that’s why I helped her do everything, from shifting and turning, to getting her in and out of bed. The only place she won’t let me go with her is the bathroom, which is completely understandable.

I heard her huff in frustration. When I looked at her she was glaring at her IV.

“What is it?” I asked, a little chuckle in my voice. I may or may not have an idea of what it is.

She grumbled, “IV won’t let me wrap around my Dwaekki.” She even crossed her arms as she stared at the offending object. She gets this pout. It’s so cute but she swears she is scary. It’s like seeing a puppy trying to intimidate a Bulldog. It’s not intimidating, it's cute. Even more so when she’s pouting at an inanimate object, if I’m lucky she’ll try bargaining with it.

I laughed at that, “How dare it.” I glared at it too, making her giggle a bit. I got up and repositioned the IV pole, bringing it to behind the bed, giving her more than enough room to move. I glared at it and I said “I don’t want any more trouble from you.” That earned a full on laugh. It wasn’t the same as its normal volume or anything, but it was still more progress. As soon as I laid back down her arm wrapped around me as she sighed with comfort.

She looked up at me and I looked down at her, studying her features. I’ve always cuddled with Y/N. It’s not uncommon for her head to be perched on my chest, but seeing her like this, after what she went through and still is going through is making me think. I’ve never seen anyone as strong, caring, and genuinely good as her.

Being with her is easy, it always has been. When I’m with her it all feels like breathing. She knows what type of person I am and I know what type of person she is. It’s like we balance each other perfectly. She likes comedy and romance movies, I like thriller and horror movies. She likes to learn languages. I hate learning languages, but she makes it fun. It’s like we push each other to be better. She fits perfectly. She molds perfectly to me, her hand fitting perfectly in mine. Every day I shoved all of this away, and every night I dreamed of her. I would hold on to those dreams so tightly. Some dreams are as simple as seeing her smile while I wrap my arms around her waist. Nothing sexual about it, just letting her know that I was behind her. Others we are just existing, laughing. The only real difference was me wearing a matching wedding band to hers. Those hurt. But only for a minute or two.

All of these thoughts are dangerous. That’s what I told myself for years now. The more I see her the more I see those thoughts, not as dangerous, but honest. All of the things that I think about her, it’s not a dramatized version of her. Everything I think is completely possible, how? Because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen her reaction to me and people around me.

Not to mention those eyes I get lost in constantly, the ones that are staring back at me right now. When she looks at me it feels like I am looking into a treasure trove. She is so full of knowledge, tenacity, and love. I could never understand how Chris could have her, and yet he looks to someone lower than her.

Her eyes look different now, inquisitive, making my eyebrows dip momentarily.

"Is it true?" She asked as I held her.

" Is what true?"I asked as I saw Felix and Han pull back the curtain, both a bit more put together. They were both walking to the only two chairs in the room, Felix to the one below the window and Han to the one right next to the bed, on Y/N’s side.

"The DNA? I have my baby's DNA," her voice cracked.

"Yes, it's true," I said as I kissed the crown of her head, "you will always have a piece of your baby with you."

She thought for a few minutes then she started to talk, very calm and very composed.

"I…I'm scared, Binnie." I saw her playing with my shirt. It’s one of those nervous habits she has. Whenever she is nervous, she’ll start playing with the nearest object. I’ve seen her fiddle with glasses, table cloths, and kitchenware. Her favorite is any clothes with texture. When I asked her why she told me that the patterns the stitching makes is just enough texture to help calm her. That is also why she prefers to wear anything with pockets in them, that way she can self soothe when her anxiety kicks up in public.

All of our ears perked up at that one sentence. We are all very much aware that she just went through a nightmare situation. For her to say that something scares her is something that all of us don’t take lightly. I noticed her body tensed up after that. Almost like her internal voice escaped without her permission. She also looked like she didn’t know where to look. Her eyes darted ever so slightly as she spoke. I tried to keep my tone as gentle as possible. I know her nerves are on edge, and honestly, I would’ve been surprised if that wasn't the case.

"Why are you scared? Of what?" I asked. I put my hand over hers to stop her movements, “you can tell me.”

"I can't lose you boys." She started tearing up as her voice started wavering, "I already lost my baby and my husband, I can't lose you guys too." At that point she buried her face in my chest as she shook, tears flowing down.

I thought that I had reached the limit of pieces my heart can break into and yet that one confession turned whatever was left into sand. "What?" I asked, "You think you're going to lose us? What gave you that idea?"

"Your leader is the same man that's been cheating on me. He's also your best friend.” She held me like I’d disappear, like I’d not only leave her side, but go willingly.

"Nonono, he was our best friend." Hannie said as he abandoned his chair, climbing into the bed with Y/N and me, sandwiching her in between us, as gently as possible. He rubbed her back, trying to soothe her.

Felix went to the foot of the bed and he said, "Chris didn't just hurt you. He hurt us by hurting you. We love you so much. For him to disrespect you like that…” Felix is usually a positive person, but his face looked like a cross between hurt, sad, and angry. “ For him to disrespect, humiliate, and degrade you like that? No friend of mine does that. You aren't a friend to me either, you feel like a sister. He hurt my sister, Y/N." His voice started to crack as he said, "he hurt my bubbly, funny, goofy, older sister who would also kill anyone that dared touch me… dare touch any of us. As far as I and everyone else on this team is concerned, he's a co-worker. Nothing more, nothing less." His brows were set at that last sentence, showing her we aren’t going anywhere.

She looked at us and said "I don't want to be the reason why things explode in your group. I don't want to cause trouble," She hid in my chest again, looking so small. I didn’t know how to comfort her in this. My heart just kept breaking and melting at the same time. Even though all of this just happened to her literally hours ago, she was still worried about us?

Han spoke up, "You didn't cause anything. You are doing what you have to do. The only person to blame for all of this is Chris, not you." He rubbed her arm as he spoke.

"Look up, you see Binnie?" He asked.

When she looked up she saw me. She nodded as she clutched onto me when I gave her a little smile.

"Look at your feet... You see Lixie?" He said, and sure enough, when she did Lix was right there. Rubbing her legs gently. She nodded.

"You feel me behind you?" Han completed. And she nodded.

"We are with you, right where we want to be. Hell, Felix ran just to catch Bin before he left, right?". I nodded.“Rain or shine, we are here for you always. Whatever you want to do. Wherever you want to go. We are here."

She started sobbing, clutching onto me as Han said, "We were never going to go anywhere… not without you, okay?"

I cut in with, "And if you don't know where to go or what to do, that's okay too… we'll figure it out together." I looked down at her and I started drying her tears as they fell.

"But what about?" She went to ask.. we all knew what she was talking about. Lix was already ahead of her on that. He dialed a number on his phone and put it on speaker.

A few rings later & someone picked up,

"Finally I was waiting for your call!" I heard Minho on the line.

Felix said, "Hey Hyung".

"How is she? We're all worried sick over here." Minho's voice was crystal clear.

Felix said, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

I could tell she heard the joy in his voice, "Y/N/N?! Can you hear me, Beautiful?"

Felix laid the phone close to her.

"Y-yeah"

"How're you feeling, gorgeous?"

"Contractions stopped." I saw her wince a little at the mention. The doctors did say that it’ll be a few days until she feels marginally better.

"That's good, Lix was telling me you were in a lot of pain because of them… wish I was there with you." His voice fell a little at those words.

"I'm scared," she said blatantly to Minho. I could see just the thought weighing down on her mind. She seemed like she was trying to prepare for a whole other loss.

"Why, what is it?" He asked, his voice taking a softer approach to her now.

She couldn't say it so Han did, " She's afraid she's going to lose us, Hyung."

I added "She said she's already lost her baby and her husband. She can't take losing us too." I petted her hair back as she started to shake. I hated this, seeing her question everything since mostly everything was ripped out of her hands in the span of hours. Now she is trying to heal but she’s scared to rely on anyone, being vulnerable, all because the two people she trusted with everything were the same ones who stabbed her in the back. The anxiety rolling off of her was dizzying. I did my best to stay calm for her, I’m never leaving her. We aren’t leaving her, ever.

I heard Minho open a car door. "Y/N/N?" He asked as the door slammed.

"Y-yes?" She replied.

"I'm outside the hospital waiting with all the boys until visiting hours start." As soon as Minho said that there was a resounding "Hi Y/N/N!!" Through the phone.

"You will never lose us … Do you hear me?" Minho's voice sounded resolute and final.

“You promise?” She asked weeping, “Because I can’t lose you MinMin… I can’t lose my boys, m’not strong enough.” She pressed herself into me, trying to convince herself that we aren’t going anywhere. Han was rubbing her back while she cried, trying to keep his composure. Lix gave me a tissue for her and I started drying her tears.

I could hear Minho’s voice breaking, "Y/N/N-ie I promise. I want to hold you so bad right now. Just another half an hour. Okay? Then you can see us and we can see you and hug you and hold you… we missed you and we are so worried."

Then Hyunjin's voice rang out, thicker, like he himself started crying, "You deserve so much more than Chris could ever be. You hear me? You deserve to be pampered and cared for. Not taken for granted and lied to. We love you and we'll see you soon, okay?"

I.N piped up with "I can't wait to take you to lunch or dinner if you get out today! Where do you want to go?!"

That whimsical question seemed to make her relax a little as she said, "How about that Ramyeon place we always go to?" She asked,

"Ohh that's a great idea! I'm dying for some Nongshim Shin Ramyun." He sounded so happy.

That half an hour never went by quicker. They stood on the phone as they waited, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. As soon as the clock hit 8:30 am all I could hear was wind…

"We are running to you right now!" Minho said.

**********************************************************************

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honeygrahambitch · 11 months

Text

One day Will is like "can you make a sandwich for me please? But keep it simple" and one hour later he goes into the kitchen to check on Hannibal cause he is still working on the sandwich... which is not a sandwich, it's six different types of sandwiches each with a different type of bread, some with the fanciest cheese, some with salmon, some with truffle mayo, some with stuff that Will can't actually name.

He wants to make a comment but he notices that the sandwiches are fish shaped and it melts him on the spot.

"I assumed you are a crust-off type of person." Hannibal says as he is working on the decor of the plate.

Will nods and smiles. He realizes he loves him.

#some fluff #hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series #hannibal fanfiction

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ichijager13 · 1 year

Text

There’s no good in evil

Summary : In a city full of crimes and atrocity Dazai have found a shelter in you. He always ends up in your place when he needs to wash away his dark soul before leaving you again with souvenirs of your shared moments. This time was no different.

A/N: Happy new year !! Here’s a fic I wrote and published on AO3 last summer. The story takes place right before the movie dead apple.

I wrote this fic listening to Duvet by Bao.

Enjoy reading lovelies :*

Word count: 2,6k

You couldn’t believe this day was finally over. You have never felt this tired before. Opening your apartment door you were daydreaming about the bath you will sink in and that piece of ice cream cake you have in the freezer when you heard a voice humming a song. It was his voice, there was no doubt. It’s been almost two months since you last saw him. you quickly took off your shoes and put your coat on the hanger before heading to the kitchen.

“And you don’t seem the lying kind

A shame that I could read your mind

And all the things that I read there

Candle lit smile that we both share

And you know I don’t mean to hurt you”.

You leaned against the kitchen door frame admiring this strange man singing and swaying ridiculously. “That’s not your double suicide song, changed your mind?”. You taunted.

“Hello there, no I didn’t. I’m only waiting for you to accept to do it with me”. A silly smile crept across his lips. “Besides this one reminds me of you”.

“Really? How come?”. Your brows furrowed.

“I can read your mind easily and I never wanted to hurt you”. He answered still turning his back to you.

“And what are you making?”. You were now standing behind him.

“A ramen, it’s cold and you had to stay outside till this late. You need something warm”. Smiling you propped your head against his back.

“Thank you”.

You remained like this for a while before you broke the silence.

“How are you Dazai?”.

“As fresh as a daisy”. He turned and held your face in his hands. “But you, you don’t seem alright. Did you miss me that bad”. Blushing you look away. You always wondered how can he read you like in an open book. You could never hide anything from him.

“I’m here now”. He smiled sheepishly.

“For how long?”

Ignoring your question, he asked you to go change and prepare yourself for dinner.

It has always been like this; he shows up unannounced and then he disappears just as fast. You lost count of how many times you resolved to never let him in again, to change your door lock, and other unfulfilled decisions. You even screamed and kicked him out of your place before falling into his arms. Dazai wasn’t one to settle down, he is like the wind he once told you, you can never lock him in. he was so drunk that night he even apologized for what he was putting you through. He confessed that wherever he was and whatever he was doing he always finds his way back to you. like there was some sort of gravity always pulling him back to you.

“Where are you?”. he called in that annoying high-pitched sound he uses to taunt you. “Dinner is ready”.

You came out from your bathroom hair wrapped in a towel. “A person cannot take a shower after a long day at work anymore?” you snickered.

“Not allowed”. He shook his index finger. “Not without me”. He shot you a determined look making you giggle.

“I’ll try to remember next time”. You hummed loudly. “The smell is amazing”. He grinned before sitting across from you.

“You added a new bookshelf”. You nodded. “And you bought a new pan and changed the blinds of the living room”.

“Yes, mister detective”.

“And you cut your hair”. He paused. “It looks good on you”. reaching a hand to caress your hair.

“Thank you”. you took a sip from your beer. “What happened to your face?”

“A small accident during work”. He simply answered. “Do you mind if I spend the night here?”. He tilted his head.

“When did I mind such a thing”.

“Good! And would you play with my hair as well?” he pouted. “Pretty, pretty please”.

“Okay, okay”. You let out laughing.

*****

You were now laying on your bed while he was showering. You have always kept his items in case he ever appeared again. It wasn’t an easy thing to deal with but you couldn’t throw them away as well. You never knew what to do or think when it comes to him and it infuriates you.

Looking up you were met with his dark eyes. He was standing at the door drying himself and watching you.

“What are you thinking about?” how come he always decodes every move or facial expression you make while you were unable to understand the simplest thing about him. “By the way, thank you for keeping my stuff. Nothing compares to fresh and clean clothes”. He hung the towel before putting on sweats and crawling into the bed next to you.

You smiled at him and caressed his face. Closing his eyes, he leaned into your touch.

“I don’t deserve you, you’re too good for me”. he breathed. “I should have let you go a long time ago but I’m too selfish to do such a thing”. He placed a kiss on your wrist. “you’re everything I’m not”.

“But you always come back”. You whispered.

He nodded, “I do, I know I shouldn’t but I always do. I’m sorry”.

You vigorously shake your head, “Don’t be. I could’ve changed the door lock or simply moved to another place. But I never did”.

“Yeah, you never did”. He fell on the pillow. “You’re the only thing making me hold on to life, and believe that there are still people with pure hearts. What I can never understand is how come someone like me…”.

You placed your finger on his lips preventing him from saying more. “There is good in evil you know. And I believe that deep down inside you there is pureness”.

His gaze was on you as a lazy smile appeared on his face. “I missed you… and I need you. I need you to be able to keep doing good things, ‘cause there is no good in me”. He brought you closer to him. “I need your light to chase away the shadows that haunt my soul”. His breath was now all over your face and neck. “I need you to be able to continue living”. He rested his head on your chest and closed his eyes. “And now, can you please play with my hair as you promised earlier”. He said in a childish voice, it’s crazy how he can switch from dead serious and depressed to childish and filled with joy. Without a word you buried your hand in his hair and started scratching his skull. “Ah, like that”. He sighed happily.

“So, how’s work?” you inquired.

“Interesting, the new gifted I told you about the other time, Atsushi he is getting better and seems to manage his ability. Oh, and you won’t believe what I have done to kunikida last time”. A mischievous smirk appeared on his lips. “He nearly lost his mind”.

“Don’t you think you should give him a break?”. You said amused.

“Never”. He stood up. “Never ever ask me such a thing again”. He was completely on top of you now. “That’s the only thing that entertains me”. his face was inches away from yours, you don’t know for how much time he remained like this. You gave up counting and calculating with him because whether you like it or not, he always wins. He will kiss when he feels like it, not before not after. But that didn’t stop your body from anticipating and aching for his touch. Each time his hands or lips were placed on you, your body was set on fire. When Dazai was around everything you submit to him, you simply lose control of everything. Your eyes were closed when he finally connected his lips to yours and started kissing you. you let out a low moan when his tongue slipped between your parted lips. “I missed this as well”. He whispered against your mouth, before tucking at the waistband of your shorts. “Why do you wear this many clothes when I’m around huh?”. His finger was now pulling your panties down.

“Dazai”.

He stopped. “What is it?”. From the tone of his voice, you can tell he is frowning.

“Not tonight, please”. You propped yourself on your elbows. “I’m really exhausted. I won’t be able to keep up”. you smiled lazily. “Let’s leave it till tomorrow, deal?”

He pulled your panties back to their place whining, “That’s not fair”. He fell on the mattress and brought you against him. “Can I at least hug you?”.

You smiled softly, “Couldn’t ask for better”. You put your hand back in his hair and buried yourself in his embrace. “I missed this too”. You muttered before drifting into sleep.

It was still dark when you opened your eyes. You woke up to the feeling of someone watching you. feeling the warmth of his body and his hands inventing invisible schemes on your back you buried yourself in his embrace.

“You’re still here”. you whispered then you fell back asleep. He knows what he is doing is wrong but he is as helpless as you are. He knows he can’t be with you but each time he leaves something breaks inside of him. each time he comes back he tells himself it’s the last time he puts you through this but he always ends up at your door. And even then, he wishes you have changed the door lock or moved out. He even found himself hoping he’d find someone at your place. He knows he can never make you happy, not with the way he was living his life. He had even thought about committing suicide at your place but the sight of your sad pretty eyes made him change his mind.

Behind his goofiness and heartless attitude hide a broken and bruised soul and he didn’t want to get you stuck in the middle of this mess, his mess. Was it too late to do the right thing? Can he keep his promise this time and leave you alone? What if you both run away and settle down in a calm small town or even a farm? Lots of questions and ideas were going through his mind. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his thoughts and sleep, but it didn’t work. Giving up he picked up his book and started reading.

It was right before dawn when he felt you moving. With a sleepy smile plastered on your face, you hugged him. “It always feels good to have you near”.

He brought you closer for a kiss. “Good morning my angel”. You peppered kisses all over his face smiling at his words. Your lips traveled down his neck, and torso ‘til his lower abdomen.

Dazai half sit and asked, “What are you doing?”

“I tasted you in my dreams, now I know what I want for breakfast”. You smiled at him.

“Is that so?” a wicked smirk stretching his face.

You glanced once more at the dark-haired man before yanking both his sweats and underwear down freeing his shaft. You started caressing it softly, and as soon as it began to harden you started pumping it making him gasp. That was the only sound you managed to earn from his parted lips until you moved things to the next level. Locking your gaze, you dragged your tongue up and down his cock. It was when you sucked his tip that you made him groan deeply.

“If you keep doing this to me each time, ah, I believe I’m gonna end up forgetting about suicide”.

You had him now entirely in your mouth; moving your head up and down and changing the rhythm from time to time you were doing your best to pleasure him. when he finally came undone, he brought on his chest and caressed your hair for a few minutes silently.

“What time is it?” you asked.

He checked his phone, “4 am, feeling tired sweetheart?”. You nodded and he secured you in with his arms. “Then let’s go back to sleep shall we”.

When you woke up again it was 9 am, the place beside you was empty and the house was quiet. At first, you thought he was showering or in the kitchen making breakfast but while resting your back against your headboard you noticed a folded paper on your nightstand. With shaky hands, you took and unfold it. It was dazai’s handwriting.

“My lovely angel,

Months after I met you, Odasaku told me that you bring out the good in me. That day I laughed at his words and told him that there is no good in evil. And I was right, the three of us knew that I was. I have to go somewhere; I might even be gone by the time you wake up or at least I hope so. During the couple of years I spent with you when I left the port mafia, you made me realize that Odasaku was right about something. there is good, but not in me. There is good in this world. You, Odasaku, and Atsushi helped me understand it and I’m glad people like you do exist. I’ll keep helping people and doing good things but this will never change my nature. I’m just doing it for Odasaku and for you.

This, my angel, will be the last time I be seeing you. I figured leaving you alone is the best thing I could offer you. you deserve better than the suicidal manic and twisted man that I am. I hope you meet someone who will be able to give you all the things I couldn’t offer you. that you will live a long and happy life. I wish you all of this because even though I always play dumb and oblivious, I do realize that you mean a lot to me. In fact, I’m in love with you. I fell in love with you the first day you discovered me laying on the side of the road after my suicide attempt. And it bugs me to be unable to give you what you deserve. But what upsets me the most is that I always hurt you. so, I decided to put an end to this vicious cycle I have created years ago. I’m setting you free.

Please take good care of yourself and continue to be the cheerful young lady you have always been.

I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.

Goodbye.

Dazai Osamu”

You covered your mouth with both hands and let out a deep groan before falling onto his side of the bed sobbing. This time the pain was stronger and more violent. This time there was no hope he’d be back days, weeks, or months later. This time he was gone for good. You hugged his pillow and cried harder. You have always known that this day would inevitably come but that never kept you from hoping he’d just let you have a normal relationship. You were never prepared for this. You cursed your heart for loving such a man. You cursed him for always finding a way to hurt you. you cursed yourself for not running away when you first decided to, for always opening your arms and house for him, and for truly believing that you had a chance to be happy. You know what he did was the right thing but that didn’t ease the pain let alone make you feel better. You closed your eyes and tried to recall his face and voice one last time. You smiled bitterly at the memory and then fell asleep once more curled up in your bed with his pillow brought against your body.

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