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girlwiththeobsessions · 4 months

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love sick c.f.

this book has also been published on wattpad. same username as the one on here. i update faster on there.

you and conrad had a secret relationship two summers ago, when you were 15 and he was 16. you broke up with him because your younger sister, belly had liked him, and you were afraid of hurting her. now, flash forward, you were 17, and you thought you had gotten over him, but maybe you haven’t

iv. deb shopping

part 1 part 2 part 3

i had no clue what was going on with conrad, why he was acting so different this summer, making me wonder what happened to the same conrad who would go on and on about infinity.

i slept in that morning, because of the fact that i stayed up way too late at that bonfire, but i eventually got up since i had work today.

when i went downstairs, dressed in a white lifeguard tank top, and red shorts, laurel, steven, and jeremiah were downstairs.

conrad was on the couch, and jere was making a 'hangover smoothie' for him, while steven was standing behind him, looking over his shoulder.

"do we really have to physically sit for our portraits?" jeremiah complained to laurel. "can't she just- look at a picture on her phone or something?"

"right?" i agreed with him.

jeremiah backed up a little from steven, having enough of him hovering over him. "okay, get out." jeremiah pointed at the door.

steven laughed. "what. why?"

"she needs to see you in the flash to capture you essence." laurel said, fixated on her laptop. "while you're still young, and full of hope."

"so poetic, mom." i joked, while steven and jeremiah laughed.

"her words." laurel rolled her eyes at us with a smile.

"well, conrad does not have hope, actually. he's hopeless." jeremiah insulted, causing me to laugh a little. "but! my hangover smoothie, it cures all."

"can you please just hurry up." conrad rushed him from the couch.

"just go back to bed. alright?" jeremiah shot back to him, and steven started looking over his shoulder again.

jeremiah put a hand on steven's chest. "alright, seriously, steven. get out. this is a delicate science."

"she hasn't painted you since you were little. i think it would be nice to have these portraits for when you're older." laurel added in.

"oh, no." steven joked. "when i'm older, they'd have like, holograms i can watch of myself, you know."

"or, this is why we have technology." i say. "where we have pictures? on our phones?"

jeremiah started the blender, causing conrad to jolt awake.

"just sit for your portraits." laurel told me and steven. "you don't see conrad complaining.

"he'll complain when he's actually conscious." i shot back at laurel.

jeremiah went to the couch and tapped conrad. "hey. here."

"come on, man. hurry your ass up, i can't be late to my first day of work." steven rushed jeremiah. "those little country club boomers are gonna tip me so hard they won't know what hit 'em!"

i made a disgusted look at steven. "ew. steven, i swear."

"come on, y/n." jeremiah laughed. "my boys gotta get that bread."

"stop." i shook my head at him.

i look over to see belly walking in the kitchen, and i give her a small smile.

"good morning." jeremiah says to her in an enthusiastic tone.

"belly, where have you been?" laurel asks her in a serious tone. "is that a bruise."

belly stands next to me and i run my fingers over the bruise. "mom, relax, she tripped when we were at the bonfire and landed on her face." i lied, i knew belly wouldn't wanna tell the actual story

"doesn't look that bad." conrad said from the couch, i look over at him, and made eye contact with him for a few seconds before returning my focus back to belly.

"uh, cereal?" jeremiah asked belly.

"yeah, hit me." belly softly responded.

"oh, my god!" susannah ran into the kitchen. "belly and y/n are going to be debutantes!" she hugged both of us.

belly laughed. "it's really not that big of a deal."

i'd forgotten all about the whole deb thing. it'd be hard trying to balance a summer job and being a deb, on top of that, i'd have to find a date.

"i'm sorry, like those two? my sisters, right there?" steven teased us.

"shut up, cretin!" i shot back.

"okay, this is going to be so much fun!" susannah fantasized. "just you wait. there's the tea, the auction, the- ball, of course.. i gotta write this down. we need to go shopping!"

"this sounds expensive." laurel said.

"oh, don't worry, laur, it's on me." susannah smiled. "it was my idea after all."

"y/n, are you sure you wanna do this?" laurel asked me. "it doesn't seem very you."

in truth, not really. but if it made susannah happy, it made me happy. i had to do it for her.

"it's not." conrad, once again, added his two cents from the couch.

i don't know how he went from how he used to act towards me to.. this.

"conrad, could you please be a little more supportive?" susannah told him. "now, which one of you are gonna be belly or y/n's escort to the ball."

"not me." conrad immediately responded.

"shocker." i say, in a sarcastic tone.

"i went last year." conrad finished his sentence.

"me neither. i swore off balls." jeremiah told us, causing steven to laugh. "the dances dude!" jeremiah said, laughing.

"wow, guys!" i say, sarcastically. "stop fighting over us."

"i'm not going with either of you." belly finally spoke up. "i am going to find my own date.

"it says debutantes require instruction, morals, and social etiquette." laurel read off her laptop.

"i'm going for a swim." conrad leaves through the back door, as i watched him go.

"yeah, y/n could use some etiquette." steven laughed.

"and you wonder why you don't have a girlfriend." i rolled my eyes.

all the sound drowned out as i watched conrad from the window, in his shorts, and no shirt on. i missed how things used to be.

i felt a hand on my shoulder. "you alright, y/n?" jeremiah asked me.

"yeah." i tried push aside anything feelings. "we should probably go soon."

"wait." susannah spoke up. "before you go, we have shopping to do!"

"seriously?" i asked. "i have work. i'm not going shopping."

but that wasn't true. susannah is a really convincing person, so before i knew it, i was shopping around stores with susannah, laurel, and belly, for the debutante thing.

i tried on different dresses, all colors, and different accessory's, hats, sunglasses, and bow, bags over my hands and arms.

then, i had to try on a debutante dress, i found a beautiful white long dress, i loved it, but maybe conrad and laurel were right. this whole thing was not my scene.

what have i done?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚

END OF CHAPTER

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #conradfisher #conradfisherxreader

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imakemywings · 7 months

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Hey, are you still bitter/salty over the characterization of Thranduil in The Hobbits movie? It's been 9 years and I'm still pissed because despite how beautiful Lee Pace's Thranduil was, I felt like it warped the perception of who Thranduil really is as a king, father, and son. Even Oropher's reputation in the fandom kinda sored.

Anon, I will be salty about that until I'm cold in the ground.

There are actually a number of things I like about The Hobbit films. Lee Pace does a wonderful job with what he was given; he really captures the ethereal grace of a being who is above mortal concerns. I love the aesthetics of Mirkwood and its people in the films. And I'm not salty that they tried to beef up his character a little--there's really not much to go on in the books, so adding the tragedy of his wife weighing on him and complicating his relationship with Legolas (do NOT talk to me about how the films massacred Legolas) wasn't a bad way to add more emotional weight to his story. Neither was adding his alluding to the War of Wrath to give him more personal feelings about the waking of Smaug.

But the thing they tried to do where they wanted to make Thranduil ~morally ambiguous~ was so yuck. In the books he has beef with the Dwarves, yeah--because they were trespassing on his land, refuse to tell him why, and have a significant chance of stirring up a dragon if they continue. IF he overreacted, there were some relevant issues at play here. And Bilbo himself describes Thranduil as a well-liked "king of a good and kindly people."

In fact, Bilbo is so taken with Thranduil that at the Battle of Five Armies, Bilbo explicitly thinks that if he were made to choose among them, he would side with the Elvenking. Yes, OVER Thorin.

I've detailed before why the movie switching Bard's gunning for war and Thranduil's reluctance to fight from the books makes no sense, so I won't get into it again, but yeah.

Final thoughts are that the Elves in Mirkwood in the films have so little joy? In the books, the Company stumbles across them feasting and partying in the woods; in the movies, Legolas' scout contingent captures them without any prior contact. All three of the main Elves in the story--Thranduil, Legolas, and Tauriel--are so sober and serious the entire trilogy; I think Tauriel is the only one who smiles or ever looks happy. YES the Elves of Mirkwood are dealing with a lot--Sauron in the backyard and all--BUT the book also shows how much joy they still have, and I think that's really missing from the movies, from Thranduil and all the rest of them.

Also, they cut Thranduil laying Orcrist on Thorin's tomb and that makes me sad.

#asks #anonymous

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haru-chi · 3 months

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Okay, let's talk about the recent Natuyuu chapter for a little bit ... and something that just moved me to tears ><

let's ignore that the appearance they teased was for the cats and not what I wanted and wished for which's fine I'm fine I knew it was impossible .. yet hoped nonetheless

the chapter was really cute indeed, but I was shocked that the Reiko's pic was gonna be addressed right after the reveal !!! that took me by surprise yet a very happy one to confirm what I was saying back then ...

but before that, the way Natsume started to realize and know for sure that that might've been Reiko by remembering his father was too much for me ...

this chapter was such a good demonstration of how much our little sunshine has grown so much emotionally ... I was tearing up seeing him trying very hard to remember that blurry memory of his father taking him to an amusement park T^T

the boy who forced the memories out of his system so as not be broken down by it .. the same boy who refused to see the only parents' picture he had so that he won't be hurt or cry when he sees them ... who always pretending to be fine talking about his real family .. who ran away from any mention of them that he just purged any faint memory he once had till the point he really forgot everything related to them despite how this act of itself was hurting him deeply ...

this same boy right now is doing his best to remember his own father .. to remember a said precious memory .. he was trying really hard something the past Natsume would never do .. but sadly, all he managed was those blurry images .. he no longer remembers his father's face .. yet he wasn't broken down or sad .. he was actually happy as if he holds something dear to him .. that even if it's blurry, even if he no longer remembers it much ... the fact that it exists no matter how faint it was was enough for him .. he does have such a happy memory inside of him afterall .. he was content by this alone .. not pain or sadness but happy to know it was there ..

I can't say it well enough how much he has grown up now ...

and when by the end he did remember this faint memory very clearly .. he didn't cry or was sad (I sure was tho) No, he was very happy as if he was above the clouds dreaming something nice ... even Madara comment that he was weirdly happy and daydreaming ...

this was just ... how to say it ... it just moved me to tears with happiness ..

and his father ... his father was such a kind loving father which just break my heart even further .... Natsume didn't cry but I cried in his place ... even tho I was also happy and proud of him so much ..

Now to Reiko ...

I really was happy how Midorikawa-sensei proved my point when I said that Natsume lacks the ability to recognize a happy Reiko because he just never seen her like that, so even when that picture was indeed Reiko Natsume's mind was like "a girl that looked like Reiko" ... I won't dig deeper for this since I already did for a bit in a different post.

"if that picture was indeed Reiko, is the reason I didn't recognize her because that was an expression I have never seen before ?? I think that smile perhaps was ...."

the way Midorikawa-sensei let Natsume realize that through his father's memory was clever yet cruel to me .. while also proving that that smile was indeed toward someone she loved (her husband) .. a kind of smile that you show to someone dear to you like the loving smile Natsume's father showed to him in that memory ...

now was the artist her husband ?? or was it a 3rd party who knows both of them, so they only captured the moment ?? in the first place why was her picture in an exorcist auction ?? I guess that the next question that Natsume needs to address now that he confirmed she was indeed Reiko :)

slowly but surely, the grandfather reveal is upon us and I'm here for it and all the pain he will bring with Reiko's full story :)

PS : a funny thought that occurred to me when Natsume was thinking " what kind of person will buy that picture I wonder?" and my mind went "who knows, maybe he will be Yorishima as plot twist" as if that shut-in exorcist will go to auctions or even leave his house for that matter xDD

#natsume yuujinchou #natsuyuu #now back to the long wait ......#-heavy sigh- I'm fine #why isn't it monthly at least ???#I'm scared with any future plot point in the future ...#no matter who will it be next ... I know it will be big and painful or full of emotions ...#now that Natsume is indeed more emotionally strong and stable .. I guess ... now he can face any harsh truth or situations #the kind that no way he could handle it in the past ...#be it about himself ..his family... Natori... Seiji etc etc ...#but I'm just proud of him ... this chapter alone is a good demonstration of his character development of the personal level

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 10 months

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Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Please support Cybird by buying their stories. Expect grammatical errors.

Gilbert: "While your civilization may be on par with the advanced nations, it doesn't have the same reputation throughout the continent."

Leon: "Thanks for your flimsy concern. So, what are your thoughts on this alliance?"

Gilbert: "Let’s see. Until now, each country has maintained its independence and kept each other in check."

Gilbert: "One could say that they have maintained the continent's balance by restraining one another."

Gilbert: "But those countries have formed an alliance, including a military agreement."

Gilbert: "It's actually so historic that it'll make you shudder."

Chevalier: "Until recently, your country was considered the foremost threat on the continent."

Chevalier: "However, with those three countries joining forces, even you will face difficulties."

Gilbert: "Yeah. I'm not one to fight a losing battle, so I don't know what to do if someone tries to pick a fight with me.”

Leon: "So far, is there any movement towards your country?"

Leon: "We thought they formed the alliance as a countermeasure against Obsidian."

Gilbert: "If they blatantly provoke us, even I won't come here so casually."

Gilbert: "There's no movement, just like the calm before the storm, and that is the biggest problem."

Gilbert: "Not knowing the purpose of this alliance means一"

Chevalier: "There's no way to devise a countermeasure."

Gilbert: "Exactly. But it's not just us. It's the same for all of you. We're all unsure if this alliance is a threat."

Leon & Chevalier: "........."

Gilbert: "For now, let's organize information about each country, shall we?"

Gilbert shrugged his shoulders and pointed to the bottom right of the map.

Gilbert: "First, there's the country of divination and illusion, Tanzanite."

Gilbert: "It's originally surrounded by a desert, making it difficult for military marches."

Gilbert: "Historically, they have had some friendly relations with the neighboring country, Jade."

Gilbert: "Though there doesn't seem to be an intention for territorial expansion under the current regime."

Gilbert: "It's a mystery whether there are any benefits to forming a military agreement."

Leon: "Rumors say that the royal-appointed fortune teller determines the fate of politics through divination."

Leon: "This alliance could have also been the result of that."

Gilbert: "Ahaha! That would be interesting if that were the case."

Chevalier: "It might have been possible a few years ago. Tanzanite was a country known for its unpredictable moves."

Chevalier: "However, considering the recent political trends, they have become quite clever. I believe someone sharp is involved in their country's politics."

Gilbert: "I agree. But honestly, Tanzanite is still a bit of a mystery to me."

Gilbert: "Next is the country of snow and law, Achroite."

Gilbert: "They have strict customs and immigration policies, but they welcome guests from all countries, regardless of whether they are friends or foes."

Gilbert: "You guys attended that famous boarding school there, right?"

Leon: "Yeah, most of our siblings studied there at some point."

Leon: "It's a well-governed state with relatively good public safety. During winter, it's cut off by snow, making military marches as difficult as in the desert countries."

Chevalier: "However, the country's biggest problem is being a neighbor to Obsidian."

Gilbert: "Fufu."

Chevalier: "There are ample considerations for forming a military alliance."

Gilbert: "But there doesn't seem to be any indication of them picking a fight with our country."

Gilbert: "They might be using the military alliance as a deterrent, but in that case, it'd be more efficient to join forces with Rhodolite, Benitoite, and Jade rather than Tanzanite and Kogyoku."

Gilbert: "Because Tanzanite is far from their country, and Kogyoku is not in a position to lend a hand to other countries."

Leon: "So, you feel uneasy about the allies they chose?"

Gilbert: "Yes. That's why I have this unsettling feeling."

Chevalier: "........."

Gilbert: "Lastly, there's the country of night cherry blossoms and chaos, Kogyoku."

Gilbert: "As you know, the internal situation in this country is a mess, and there are intense factional struggles."

Leon: "I've heard it's a country plagued by ongoing civil wars, but isn't it in a state where multiple kings compete for power?"

Gilbert: "That's right. In Kogyoku, powerful individuals proclaim themselves as kings and strive for unification."

Chevalier: "It's unclear which faction formed this alliance, right?"

Gilbert: "Exactly. And a significant characteristic of Kogyoku is that every faction receives support from various countries."

Gilbert: "Some factions receive support from Obsidian, while others receive support from Achroite."

Gilbert: "There might even be other countries involved that we don't know because they haven't been made public."

Gilbert: "The purpose of the alliance is likely to vary depending on which faction formed it."

Chevalier: "Our country doesn't have any direct connections with Kogyoku. Without information from this country, it's impossible to make any speculation."

Gilbert: "That's right. That's why it's bothering me."

Gilbert: “After discussing all this, you must have already guessed why I came here.”

Leon: “Yeah. You want to propose an alliance with us.”

Gilbert: “That’s right. I want to be friends.”

Leon & Chevalier: “..........”

Gilbert: “Fufu, you’re making it quite clear that you’re not thrilled.”

Gilbert: “But think about it. This alliance of these three countries must surely have a purpose other than to counter Obsidian.”

Gilbert: “If left unchecked, it could become a new threat that shakes the entire continent.”

Gilbert: “This is not something unrelated to you, either. That’s why I want your help.”

Leon: “What specifically do you want?”

Gilbert: “I want to know the intentions of each country.”

Gilbert: “The quickest way to do that is to visit each country and establish connections with the people in power.”

Gilbert: “Unfortunately, Obsidian is not well-liked, and there are unfriendly countries lurking among those involved in this alliance, like Benitoite and Jade.”

Gilbert: “If we’re looking for a country that can maintain a neutral relationship with everyone, then it’s Rhodolite.”

Leon: “What’s the advantage of us sharing information with you?

Gilbert: “Eh? Are you saying there’s a downside to this?”

Gilbert: “We, Obsidian, the biggest threat to Rhodolite, only suggest that we build a friendly relationship.”

Gilbert: “You provide me with information, and I promise not to touch you in any way.”

Gilbert: “If your country faces a crisis while we’re in this alliance, I’ll even provide you with military support.”

Chevalier: “We can’t trust you. There’s no guarantee that the world’s calamity is not plotting anything.”

Gilbert: “Ehh. I have a principle of not telling lies, you know?”

Leon: “It’s difficult to give an immediate answer right now.”

Leon: “Can we discuss this matter more intensively first?”

Gilbert: “Sure, of course. I will hear your answer directly from Obsidian.”

Leon: “Ha?”

Gilbert: "I'm saying that I'll treat you well in our country."

Leon & Chevalier: "..........."

Gilbert: "If necessary, I can even arrange visits to medical and military facilities for you."

Gilbert: "You want an insight into our country's latest technology, which is under strict information control, right?"

Chevalier: "I see. We understand that you have a greater interest in gathering information from various countries and are wary of alliances."

Gilbert: "Fufu, even you guys must have a bad feeling about this."

Gilbert: "The end of these peaceful days is approaching."

After seeing off the unexpected visitor, Leon and Chevalier faced each other seriously.

Leon: "What do you think?"

Chevalier: "The conditions presented by Obsidian are not bad."

Chevalier: "However, considering that man, it would be dangerous to take it at face value."

Leon: "I agree. It's better to be cautious."

Leon: "Nevertheless, even without Obsidian's proposal, it'd be better to gather information about the alliance."

Leon: "We need to know the intentions of Tanzanite, Achroite, and Kogyoku, respectively, to formulate countermeasures."

Chevalier: "We should also be mindful of Benitoite and Jade."

Chevalier: "Regarding the alliance, there's a possibility of getting involved in unforeseen accidents if we don't understand how each country will act."

Leon: "True. Fortunately, as Gilbert said, Rhodolite has a neutral relationship with any country it interacts with."

Leon: "If we can have a temporary truce with Obsidian, we can directly visit each country."

Chevalier: "We will start the Round Table Conference now."

Leon: "Yeah. We need to gather the others."

Chevalier swiftly left the room, flipping his white cloak.

As Leon was about to follow, he suddenly stopped in front of a vase displayed amid the Round Table.

Inside the vase, which holds the roses symbolizing Rhodolite, was one damaged flower.

He reached out and plucked the withered rose, causing a single petal to fall at his feet.

Leon: "Just when things were finally settling down after Belle's selection..."

Leon: "I hope she doesn't get involved in any strange incidents."

-END-

Previous Part ┊ Masterlist

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikepri jp #chevalier michel #leon dompteur #ikepri gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikepri translations

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zivazivc · 6 months

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Reading the tags of your recent Kunoichi Turtles post that Female Casey has a bit of a flirtatious personality has led me to headcanon that when Lavinia starts crushing on David (I think that’s Mona’s genderbent name in your AU?) she goes to Casey for advice and tips on how to flirt with a boy but when actually trying to use the flirting tips on David she fails miserably (like that flirting lesson scene from the movie Jumanji), but unknowingly to Vinnie the bad flirting worked and David is smitten XD

AHAHAHA! XD I would literally cry from second hand embarrassment if an episode like that existed. Maybe, maybe, I can see that happening a few "episodes" after David's first introduced into the story, after Vin finally comes to terms with her emotions. Because in this version the relationship progresses slowly over the course of like a season and a half (a lot of that due to David only visiting when his job demands it), and Vin has cold feet like for most of that time lol

David is the one who gets smitten with Vin first in my story and starts making subtle advances while Vin is completely on edge and skeptical of them and needs a while to realize that he actually likes her in a romantic sense, for real, and doesn't have some ulterior motive. After that she's just very awkward and tongue-tied about it.

You know how Raph kept telling Donnie to give up on his crush because they're all giant mutants that won't ever get a chance at love? I wanted to put attention on that part from canon since the show didn't give me that with the canon Ramona. Raph being a teenage girl can only make that mind-set worse, giving him/her more insecurity and self-hatred. Especially since Vin is the biggest of her sisters and the least "cute" and feminine of them. So I don't see her making the first move in any situation, and I think she'd only flirt after it would be made clear the other person feels the same way.

Ahh, sorry, that got a bit serious maybe. The two actually have a really sweet and healthy relationship (y'know, in my head, where it's been living rent free for years now lol), Lavinia just has to work out some things first before she's angst free.

In this AU we first meet David in the episode Newtralized, where David and Sal are trying to arrest the Newtralizer. Slash is there (he's an all-time baddie in this version), Vin gets captured thanks to David getting in the way of the fight, David feels responsible and goes to save her -> bla bla bla -> Vin has a rescued princess moment that she doesn't know how to feel about...

I've been trying to make this episode into an actual fic for the longest time. On the topic of Casey, I'm showing you a short section from the wip. It takes place toward the end when they've all reunited. I think it's also a good example on why Vin would not go to Casey for romantic advice XD

Casey leans in close to her face, her hooded eyes joining her friend’s thoughtful gaze on the young Salamandrian on the other side of the rooftop who is currently listening to his veteran commander going over what had happened while they were split up.

“Look at him standing there,” she says to her smoothly, almost whispering into her ear, “dark skin over toned muscle. Those abs, man.”

“Casey!” Vin cries out in shock and horror and swings around to face her friend’s smug smile.

“Like a chiseled renaissance statue,” Sofie helps with uncharacteristic coyness to her smile.

“Sofie, no!”

All four of the girls are grinning like Cheshire Cats at Lavinia’s discomfort, enjoying themselves way too much. Vin’s cheeks and nose are thoroughly covered in a deep blush and she hates that it’s there in the first place. She doesn’t even like the guy.

“David the Statuesque! That’s what I’m naming him.” Marie exclaims, sounding proud of herself for that one. “I was going to go with something more fun but since he’s your knight in shining armor—Literally!—I gotta be respectful.”

Vin can’t even hide her tortured grimace. Her shoulders sag and she sighs miserably. “I hate you guys.”

#tmnt #kunoichi turtles #ramona #why does this ship - genderbent or not - make me so giddy #answered #my art #genderbend tmnt #kunoichi au #wip #teenage mutant ninja turtles #lavinia #david #writing

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thegreatobsesso · 9 days

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Hello my love! :D I keep seeing your spicy gay crime story on my dash and while taglists give me anxiety I am LIVING for it, so I thought I'd send you a random ask so you can gush about it some if you want. ^_^ Any fun facts? Was there a specific inspiration? Why script style? And anything else you'd like to share! 💕

AHHHHH!!!! Thank you for this, @pertinax--loculos!!! And let me begin by saying that I love your honesty. Everybody should engage with social media (and, situations permitting) life in general with the ways that give them the least amount of anxiety possible. I have my own particular tumblr-related anxieties as well as generalized social anxiety in just about every possible manifestation, so just to let you know, I feel you. 💙

That being said, THANK YOU FOR ASKING QUESTIONS! I logically know I can share this kind of thing without being asked, but without being asked, I pretty much won't. That's just how I'm built. 😊

Fun facts: Octavius was - originally - a drag persona of mine. As a cis woman who's always thought she looked incredible with facial hair, I invented a drag persona awhile back named Octavius Debonnaire. I fancied him a well-dressed British supervillain with a penchant for poisons and fancy suits. This was all well and good until one not-so-special day where he pole-vaulted into the realm of distinctly his own character that I could NEVER embody and had no choice but to write about instead. Things kinda spiraled from there, as they are wont to do. And now his last name became Sinclair, because Octavius Debonnaire is like.......... so exclusively a drag name it just doesn't translate outside that framework, lol.

Inspiration: The Insuppressible Callie Ray satisfied like, 90% of the narrative tropes that get me off. This WIP encompasses the remainder untouched upon. And, to be honest, I had to write a story without smut to convince myself I was ready to write a good story that comes with smut.

Why script? There's a couple reasons. Chief amongst them is that I knew I had two main characters (Milo and Octavius) and only one of them I was remotely interested from writing in the POV of (Milo).

To clarify, I love Octavius with my whole being. But there's something about writing from his POV that feels... uncomfortable? Counterproductive? It's hard to explain, but something very primal tells me that writing from inside his mind is the wrong way to go. And once I accepted that feeling, it was immediately clear to me that many, many things crucial to the plot of this WIP happen when Milo is not present.

I think at this point, I reached a critical crossroads where I realized I would either need to completely reimagine this WIP, or write it differently. And I thought of my bestie @i-think-im-so-so-but-cosplay, who is currently writing a WIP in script format, and the way forward was extremely simple.

[[ A clarification: I'm not saying scriptwriting is in any way "easier" than prose; it's a totally different animal for a totally different purpose. It turns out, this story is best represented as TV show, and maybe, just maybe, Callie might've been too, if I'd have been capable of conceiving such a notion at the time. The world will never know.]]

If I had any doubts in the beginning, they rapidly dissolved when I realized how ***freeing*** script format is. There's totally a trade-off - I think it's a lot harder to capture a character's deep internality or set a strong mood - but it lets me say, quite easily and simply, what happens. Not worrying about head-hopping is allowing me to actually tell this story the way it wants to be told.

One more consideration worth noting - my absolute favorite thing to write, and the thing that comes the easiest to me, is dialogue. Scripts are huuuuuuuuuge made of dialogue, so. Once I decided to try, it felt extremely organic, considering my writing strengths and preferences.

anything else I'd like to share: Aster Craine. My antagonist, to the degree to which she serves that role, although she might be more accurately called my foil. When I first started writing her lines she was totally one-dimensional and I had an idea of what role she would serve in the narrative and wrote lines that worked technically well enough, but my god. I've really been getting a grip on what she's about over the past few days and this is it:

What if the leader of an organized crime ring ran their business like a cult? What if, inspiring loyalty through fear, they used love? Or, a perversion of love - artificially produced positive feelings. What if people were loyal to her because they felt understood by her, seen, appreciated, taken care of?

It makes her a perfect foil for Octavius, who is a narcissist, unable to imagine what it would be like to be in someone else's shoes. Aster is an actual empath who can understand other people's emotions - she just uses that understanding to manipulate them into loving her and, in turn, doing absolutely anything she says.

This spark turned her into a character I rapidly became obsessed with developing, instead of just a cardboard cutout for my mains to bash up against, and that's a very, very happy feeling. :) :) :)

Thank you again for this ask, dear friend @pertinax--loculos! It provided me a way to put into words a lot of things that have rattling about in the old noggin 🥰

Ahh hell, I'll add my tag list... hopefully y'all aren't tired of me yet!

tag list: @winterandwords // @revenantlore // @space-writes // @indecentpause // comment to be added or removed!

#new WIP #WIP: spicy gay crime story #oc: octavius #oc: milo #asks #writeblr

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fireemblems24 · 4 months

Text

Golden Wildfire Ch 12

My thoughts below. So, about Claude . . .

MAIN STORY

Please just tell me I don't have to kill Felix, Ingrid, Sylvain, Rodrigue, Annette, Gustave, Mercedes, Dedue, or Dimitri :(

Oh, Arval. Forgot about all of that lamo.

Are we circling back to TWSITD and the origins of Shez's powers? It really hasn't played any role in GW so far. In AG, Shez brings it up all the time (with Dimitri always saying it doesn't matter) and in SB the whole "we only promoted you bc we don't trust your power, sorry now we do" thing.

Nadar . . . doesn't want us to call off the attack. He's really a bloodthirsty jerk, isn't he?

Is Claude JUST now figuring out that taking out the Kingdom is a bad idea for the Alliance?

At least Claude's not stupid enough to not realize Edelgard won't take over the Alliance next. Begs the question then, why?

That's what I mean. This is all potentially interesting, I just think Claude's plans are all really stupid.

So, Claude sided with the Empire because he hates the church that much and actually believes all that shit? Or does he really think Edelgard will stop her war when Rhea's dead? (because she definitely does not in Houses when Rhea's captured in her prisons)

I DO like this for Dimitri though. I'm REALLY curious to see what he does. Is it too much to hope that he'll dump the church to rescue his people from war?

IDK, I just love the idea of a Dimitri willing to sacrifice anything - even his sense of right and wrong (since leaving Rhea to die when all she's done is help him IS wrong) to spare his people pain.

But I'm predicting he'll be too stubborn or not trust Claude or Sylvain furious at his father's death will ruin it

But it's also really cool to see Dimitri kinda backed into a corner with no "good" way out.

I can forgive Hopes giving Edelgard a boring af plot, writing Claude like a moron, and making me kill Blue Lions members, but if they miswrite Dimitri here (or Sylvain, kinda worried about that too tbh), I'm really going to be pissed

Also, like if Claude's plan is really just to gank Rhea to stop Edelgard's rampage, that means he really did all this twisting around just to try and stop one woman's murder rampage - why not just, like, take her out? If this is all really about the least death possible, isn't assassinating Edelgard the fastest way to keep more people from dying?

God, please, please, please have Dimitri dump Rhea to spare his people (I'd feel awful for Rhea, but I really, really hope Dimitri proves to be someone who would spare his people any pain, even at the expense of himself - when he's sane at least lamo).

On the flip side, I'm dying to play GW. It's plot may not make any sense and my opinion of Claude has tanked, but you can't say it's not entertaining.

LORENZ & LEONIE B SUPPORT

Kinda sad they only go to B. They were cute together in Houses. Seems some of the ships got turned up to 11 and others got dialed down.

Lorenz is contemplating his existence in a world where commoners don't rely on the nobility.

He's struggling to see from the commoner's POV, so he wants a commoner to serve as an advisor. Honestly, Lorenz, pretty good call.

The way Lorenz talks about Leonie and her choices, it makes it sound like history was trending towards commoners and nobles not being so rigid without Edelgard doing anything.

Leonie turns down Lorenz's offer because she wants to be a mercenary.

LORENZ & MARIANNE A SUPPORT

Lorenz wakes up after getting injured. Marianne thinks it's her fault, which I saw coming.

Lorenz thought he imagined Marianne asking for help, but she actually did.

Marianne realizes she wanted to live, hence why she called for help. So she's feeling guilty that the end result is Lorenz got hurt.

Lorenz is encouraging and is happy Marianne opened up to him.

Honestly, a better support for him than a lot of the Hopes ones.

CAMP/SIDE MAPS

Balthus is . . . really hung up on the idea of wrestling Dimitri, isn't he?

So some NPC talked about how the Kingdom is getting attacked on all fronts. I can't be the only one who finds it amusing that Dimitri with his smaller army and surrounded by enemies is doing a better job than Edelgard with her massive one lol.

When Hapi proves way smarter than Claude, knowing how massively stupid Claude's plan of "let's kill everyone they love and then force whoever is left over to listen to us! I'm sure they'll be thrilled." Hapi's like, eh, not sure this will work.

Man, Ashe is just miserable when you recruit him. I do find it kind of heartwarming in a weird way how miserable all the recruitable Lions end up being (even in Houses, moreso than the other houses at least). Ashe and Felix taking the cake, but Mercedes was regretting her life choices the last SB chapter too.

Aww, Yuri is worried about Ashe and finds Claude cruel for forcing him to fight against the Kingdom.

Holy shit, Shez really spitting facts to Claude's face, telling him his plan is a giant disaster (Dimitri won't fall for intimidation tactics, and Edelgard won't stop attacking people even after she runs out of excuses.) As insufferable as all of the Golden Deer are in this game, at least we've got stuff like this pointing out how cruel and stupid they're being.

Lamo, take only one unit into the map, as if that's a challenge. I literally only use Lorenz. This'll be easy in AG too bc Dimitri's such a beast. Dreading it in SB though.

Annette is still alive here at least :( And Rodrigue. And Gustave. (we're with the Blue Lions discussing Claude being ... GW!Claude)

Sylvain thinks Claude's an idiot lol. Dimitri and Sylvain are sussing him out.

I love how Dimitri is the only character who's goal is to avoid bloodshed among the lords. The other two are, uh, yeah.

Oh.... is Dimitri actually going to run over the church? Like I wanted? When Dimitri's the best character in GW lol.

Dimitri looking out for Sylvain, knowing how angry he is with Claude.

I had to fight Ingrid :(

SHEZ & LYSITHEA A SUPPORT

Lysithea catches Shez assuring a younger girl that she doesn't seem like a child, but an adult.

Predictably, Lysithea gets angry, because it's Lysithea, but to be fair, she's upset because Shez said the same thing and thinks Shez is being insencere.

Shez admits that it's not cool, what she did, but she's bad at advice and keeps using the same lines she's learned from stories lamo. I love Shez.

Honestly, Lysithea is kinda right to get mad here, at least I get it unlike some of the times with her.

Lamo, Shez can borrow another line from a story. I'm gonna piss her off bc I can lol.

Lysithea buys it. I wonder if it's the same line lol.

SHEZ & SHAMIR C

Having mercenary talk. I had Shez choose to ask for help. Shamir offered once she's free.

Shez comments how mature Shamir is. Shamir comments how relaxed Shez is (but it's a positive thing, not like a judgment).

They bond over having lost trusted allies, including the ones at the beginning for Shez.

Kinda boring, but honestly these two are almost too well matched, like not enough tension and just too normal lol

LYSITHEA & HILDA A

Hilda wants to gossip, but Lysithea only goes on about how awesome Holst is, so she's not interested.

She thinks he should be more careful as head of household, but Lysithea points out that he has no choice.

Hilda is worried who Holst is married. There's an ick here where Lysithea thinks that's because he's too focused on Hilda.

Hilda just talks about who Lysithea might marry, which, yeah...

Hilda offers to help Lystheia out, and some, um, implications that she'll be Lysthesia's new family - she says big sister, but there's def some ship teasing

They made Hilda really flirt with all the girls this time lol

CLAUDE & HAPI B

Hapi finds Claude easier to talk to than Edelgard and Dimitri.

Props to Hapi for telling Claude not to unload his trauma on her.

Hapi's like if you're bitching, why not just quit? Lamo.

Hapi says she'll support him.

MARIANNE & BERNADETTA A

Honestly don't remember if I've seen this in SB already or not.

Bernie likes Marianne's painting, but not her own. This is true vice versa, because of course it is.

Marianne compliments Bernie's horsemanship.

Two shy girls compliment each other, then get shy.

Then Bernie asks what Marianne wants to do after the war and Marianne becomes a Disney princess, wanting to sit in the woods with animals. Bernie wants to finish a story. Honestly, both girls picked amazing options I too want.

Bernie's story is about Marianne lamo. But Marianne isn't mad, she just wants to read it.

I really find their friendship cute, ngl.

Also, Bernie supports Dimitri, so there's no way she's NOT writing fanfic about his life because it's a never drying well there.

LORENZ & RAPHAEL C

Lorenz asks Raphael why he didn't just stay at his family's inn instead and joined the war instead

Raphael wants to keep his family safe, and thinks that following Claude will bring peace to the world (lamo) so that's why

Lorenz is more grounded, saying that all he's doing is exposing his family to the dangers of war

Which, Lorenz isn't wrong, but he also starts prattles more about nobility need to do everything and commoners nothing

But like, does Lorenz really think you can make an army out of nobles only, because, like, that just doesn't happen

Raphael is touched lamo, thinking Lorenz is concerned

Raphael just challenges him to a muscles competition

It is amusing to see Lorenz try to give his spiel and Raphael just keeps doing his own thing

Like ALL of Lorenz's supports in this game is this though, he's more repetitive than Bernedetta at this point

LORENZ & CONSTANCE A

Lorenz is bragging about himself, Constance is in the sun so she's . . . not

You know, I was thinking just how insufferable Lorenz would be in my playthrough because he's like 10 levels ahead of everyone, a god on the battlefield, always MVP - he like trounces everyone so he's be bragging and he'd be right - I wish Claude had to deal with this, watching Lorenz win the war for him and have to put up with Lorenz being Lorenz over it

They overdid it a bit with her sunshine personality - like Dimitri and Marianne are very realistic about a lack of self-worth, but Constance just comes across like a joke (and maybe that's all she's supposed to be)

Poor Lorenz is just confused and wants the normal Constance

I do have a soft spot for when male characters are desperate for the snotty side of a female character to come back (like, really just talking about Rutger and Clarine)

This is going on for too long though without any change

LYSITHEA & LEONIE B

Lysithea mistook a mercenary Leonie talked to for a bandit

But he's just someone who loot dead bodies on battlefields

I always found that kind of distasteful

Lysithea feels torn because she wants to learn about commoners more, but doesn't seem comfortable talking to people who steal coins off dead people, which same

Lysithea of course wants to know about commoner sweets

And Leonie talks about how they can't afford noble treats and likes commoner snacks (hopefully different from Chole's folk food lamo)

SHEZ & YURI C

Shez is snooping on Yuri's letter. I love that Shez is a snoop.

Yuri's pissed though, lamo. He threatens Shez's life though. That's a bit . . . much.

I'm going to pretend I didn't read it lol.

OMG YURI HAS A MOM. SOMEONE IN THIS GAME HAS A MOM.

She's ill so he was visiting her.

He's a bit needlessly sometimes.

IGNATZ & LYSITHEA B

Lysithea thinks there's something wrong with Ignatz.

She guesses right that he's unhappy, but guesses wrong that he wishes he ran his father's company instead of his brother.

He slips up that he admits he's only a knight to please his family.

Awww, Lysithea offers Ignatz the opportunity to live in Ordelia territory and does whatever he wants to afterwords.

She was actually really sweet in this support.

Also, anyone else realize that Ignatz is proof that the church/crests/inheritance isn't the one forcing children to do things they don't want to? It's human greed?

CLAUDE & HAPI A

Claude left a meeting because he was bored of people arguing. Hapi also left a meeting.

Oh, interesting, Hapi asks Claude if he would walk away if someone could take his place. Claude says no that he wants to get a lot done and can't let anyone else do it. So a really uninteresting answer.

LEONIE & LINHARDT B

Linhardt got a gift he doesn't want so he offered it to Leonie.

Lamo, Linhardt forgot the meeting he set up with Leonie.

He gives her a notebook already full, so she wants to give him something in return.

She gives him a rock that turns out to be part of an ancient relic and he gets thrilled.

Linhardt comes to the conclusion that they value the complete opposite things, but they decides they're actually not a special pairing lamo.

MAIN BATTLE

Ugh, not looking forward to this.

Wow, imagine that, the Kingdom isn't bringing them a welcoming party. Like, did Shez really expect that?

They're a bunch of psychos. They're all excited to go kill people because they're strong warriors.

"Let's see if a crushing defeat can get through Dimitri's thick skull." Because you like tried talking with him so many times before???

What is Claude smoking? He's never tried anything but bloodshed of innocent Kingdom people to accomplish anything in this route?

I see what people mean when they say this is one of the most unlikeable casts ever.

Gustave's middle name is Eddie. Not Edward. Eddie. Suffering through GW is worth knowing that.

Also, fuck, I don't want to fight Annette and Gustave, who are only defending their home.

Thank fuck, Annette retreated. Having SB flashbacks where I had to kill Annette. Annette.

And thank God that Gustave did too.

On the flip side, I sort of wish GW wasn't so wish-washy and they all died. At least SB has the guts to show there's consequences for your character's actions. But GW like to pretend only Annette and Gustave matter and it'll be ok to slaughter thousands of low born people of Faerghus every single level because they're not named.

Dimitri evacuated his citizens. I think he's literally the only lord who did that lamo. (I remember distinctly Edelgard not doing that in VW, and I don't think Claude did in CF or AM? Could be wrong about Claude).

FUCK. Dedue. If he doesn't retreat, I swear to God I can't finish this.

Oh, God, not Sylvain too.

Wait, what the fuck, Claude. His "defense" against Sylvain accusing (rightly so) Claude of invading his home and murdering his parents is that "we're all risking our lives here." I guess Faerghus is 2-for-2 whenever someone is actually allowed to criticize people who are invading them.

At least Sylvain retreated.

Dimitri appeared to defend Faerghus. I swear whoever wrote this game didn't care at all about the Golden Deer.

Oh, a cut scene. Also pretty sure Shez called Dimitri Faerghus' strongest soldier.

Well, at least Dimitri being an utter and complete badass in this game continues since Claude admitted that he could never win against him. And he needed Hilda and Lorenz to just push him back, not even defeat him.

Oh, great, more backtracking. Claude has to retreat. Does this mean I have to fight Dimitri again?

You're right, Hilda, it's the same thing all over again. God, this gets old.

It would be funny if it was the Empire, but it's probably just TWSITD. It's pretty funny Claude is the one who learns the least in Hopes vs Houses.

At least Annette and Sylvain are still alive.

Gotta love also how damn badass Faerghus is in general, fighting a 3-way battle and not losing.

Dedue is here too, my beloved.

I love seeing Claude taking another L and having to retreat again.

xxx

#golden wildfire #fire emblem #fire emblem three hopes #three hopes #three hopes spoilers #golden wildfire spoilers

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pascaloverx · 3 months

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As It Was (S2)

Chapter Thirteen

previous chapter next chapter

Author's note: Dear readers, I will be writing this fanfic again. This second season will have shorter chapters and it will probably take me a little longer to update the fanfic but I hope you like it!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS STORY, there may be adult content and verbal and physical violence.

The day of my wedding with Bucky arrived faster than I had anticipated. The reality is that James Buchanan Barnes is both the only one not involved in the wedding and the groom. I simply couldn't get that stubborn head to change his mind. Okay, I didn't even try to get him to change his mind. Every new day in your life is another terrifying day in your head, not knowing if Killian or Steve will show up and end you or someone you love. So, this fake wedding is my last chance to end this nightmare. If Barnes doesn't see it that way, too bad for him.

"You look magnificent in that dress, Melisa. I'm sure Barnes would be the luckiest man in the universe if you two were really getting married. But my best friend is as much of an idiot as he is handsome, you know." Sam says, entering the bride's room that was specially prepared for me to get ready. To be poetic, I rented the hall where they killed my father and almost killed me. Here, they have a special wedding banquet hall. And it's a place I already know.

"Thank you, Sam, for the compliment and for being here. I can't believe this day has finally come, and that I may have spent money and time on something that will go wrong." I say breathlessly, thinking about the possibility of setting up an obvious trap and not being able to capture the criminals.

"Actually, that's exactly what I came to talk to you about. Yelena was talking to some of her contacts, and it seems Steve was seen around here yesterday. Dave is checking nearby cameras to confirm. But don't get discouraged just yet. This whole team is here to support you, even though it may seem dangerous. We won't let any of them hurt you." Sam says, hugging me gently. I'm relieved to know they're here with me. Whatever happens, we'll face it together.

"This time I'm prepared too. So, let's put the plan into action. The guests should already be in their places, waiting for the groom to arrive. The music for the bride's entrance will play in a few minutes. I'll walk in with Wanda as if everything is fine, and you guys put on a show pretending that Bucky is missing. I'll create a scene, cancel the wedding, and ask everyone to leave. It'll be the perfect moment for them to attack me. The rest is up to you guys." This plan was designed with every detail in mind. There are more cameras in this building than there were before; Dave is taking care of surveillance, Sam and Yelena are handling defense in case of a surprise attack, and Wanda will be nearby in case I need help if something goes wrong. Everything is carefully planned.

"Then I'll go there in case you need anything; remember, you have an earpiece. Just say 'red' in any way possible, and we'll come to your rescue. Good luck, bride." Sam touches my arm lightly and leaves, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I look at myself in the mirror, analyzing the wedding dress I'm repurposing. It's the same one from my first wedding, just adjusted. I thought this time a veil would be more of a hindrance than a help, and a long train would be an obstacle.I hear a noise behind me, almost like a step, and automatically grab the gun hidden on the vanity where I did my makeup. I point the gun at whoever is behind me not even five seconds after hearing the noise. Of course, I could have died because five seconds is a good amount of time for someone to kill another person. If I hadn't been distracted, I would have noticed someone entering this bridal room and known it was my ex-husband, the idiot.

"Great attack plan, but I suggest aiming the gun at the head next time. It would also be good not to get distracted, but your reflex was quick. By the way, you look beautiful. I like the changes to the dress." James Barnes says, smiling shamelessly at me. I'm torn between anger and surprise. What does he want here?

"Barnes, I don't remember inviting you in or asking you to be here in general. Before you ruin my plan, go away, and take that smug smile with you." I say, trying to sound serious. I lower the gun and turn around, ignoring the fact that Bucky hasn't budged despite my request for him to leave.

"Funny. I don't recall proposing to you or accepting one from you. Yet, everyone in this building came to see you and me getting married. I hope you liked the outfit of your future husband. I'm wearing the suit you gave me on our first anniversary." He looks handsome, but I don't want to give in. I wanted him by my side, and he abandoned me. Now that I made a plan without him, he shows up here. Son of a...

"Barnes, save my time. What do you want?" I don't have much patience on a regular day, let alone when I'm about to be bait to capture not one but two dangerous men.

"I want to marry you. I want to be by your side while you do the stupidest thing ever seen in the world, and most importantly, I want to apologize for being an idiot. I realized too late that loving you means accepting your plans that will undoubtedly cause unimaginable havoc." He speaks, getting closer and closer to me. Then he holds my waist firmly, looks into my eyes, and kisses me. It's a kiss full of passion and at the same time, longing. Truth be told, I missed him, and well... he certainly missed me too.

"I can offer you a second honeymoon filled with reconciliation sex, what do you say?" Barnes says in a playful tone, and I lightly smack his arm.

"Try not to ruin the plan. Figure out a way to leave me alone during the ceremony. They won't show up with you around, and I need to be the bait. Are we clear?" I know he won't like it, but whatever he wants. He's been married to me before; he should know that when I have something in mind, I do it my way. The problem is, he's the same way.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll let you do what you want without getting in your way," he says, giving me another light kiss. I smile, knowing he probably isn't entirely serious.

"Do you promise?" I ask in the middle of the kiss, my forehead resting against his. My god, how I love this man.

"No. Now get ready because I'm going to my groom's spot to wait for my beautiful bride." He gives me a peck on the lips and leaves before I can react. I then prepare to go to the hall to fake getting married.

"Nice pathetic plan, Melisa. Beautiful. You just forgot that I was a partner with all of you while you played the united little group. I smelled a setup since I knew you were going to marry Barnes again. Who in their right mind makes the same mistake more than once?" Steve speaks behind me as I head towards the hall where the guests are waiting. I smile because I did get what I wanted.

"You, you arrogant jerk." I turn around, plunging a sharp and likely lethal knife into his chest. Poor guy, he had no idea this time I would be prepared for him. The loud thud of him hitting the ground was startling. His look of desperation mixed with the anguish of pain, simply cinematic.

"Let me guess, you thought you would come here, and I would be frightened. You'd kidnap me, and I would cry in desperation. Then, it would be a remake of the last time we were together, but this time I wouldn't survive. That way, you and Killian would go unpunished. My question is, did you underestimate me so much that you didn't even bring a weapon to threaten me?" I say, watching him writhing in pain. Poor Steve, caught off guard.

"If you think this is all, you're totally..." He tries to continue speaking, but I yank the knife out of his chest, and he's too busy feeling his blood leave his body to insult me. Oops...

"Dave, I think you can hear me. Ask Sam to come deal with Steve, near the bride's room. I'll continue with the plan." I compose myself, somewhat perplexed by what just happened, but the show must go on.

"Dave can't talk right now, but I'll pass the message to Sam. After all, Melisa... you were waiting for me, weren't you?" I get nervous hearing Killian's voice on the earpiece. Damn.

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papermatisse · 7 months

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Solace || B.JY

† genre: horror, fluff?

† word count: 5.4k

† warnings: extreme stalker behavior, paranoia, betrayal

† synopsis: when the world seems to be entirely against you, sometimes all you need is a comforting set of arms and whispered reassurances to get you by.

† (a/n): fourth installment of spooktober anthology! stalkers freak me TF out :)! this is also the longest one thus far 👌. enjoy!

† taglist: @scuzmunkie @hipsdofangirl @hydroyaksha

anthology | masterlist

The life of a star is never purely the glitz and glamor they portray it as being, and the same goes for social media influencers. Not that she'd compare herself to a star, because she was anything but. Just an average nobody who managed to post pretty, aesthetically pleasing pictures that appealed to the masses. Though aside from the few hundred thousand people who awaited for her next update, she lived her life just as normally as anyone else. Wake up, go to work, go home. If she was feeling especially daring, perhaps she'd take a different route home just to experience something new. Her free time was spent traveling with her friends and gaining new experiences in life, all the while taking pictures to document her memories forever.

Perhaps things started changing around the time she grew more comfortable with her platform. She'd perfected the art of showing, not telling. Her brief stories were enough to sate the curiosity of her followers, though still maintain her overall privacy. She'd even grown comfortable slapping on the locations of her travels—albeit, she'd post them after she left.

At first, it was mundane. A simple acknowledgement of profile names she recognized as being veteran followers. She'd look out for their sweet comments or if they tagged her in any content. Sometimes she'd even invite them to her live sessions for simple one-on-one chats. There really was no indication of any ulterior motives.

The first time she sensed something off was after having had dinner with her friends, as she scrolled through the comments of her latest post featuring said meal. A single comment amidst the sea of a thousand others, seemingly unassuming at first glance, though enough to stir a feeling of unrest within her.

"The picture doesn't capture how absolutely tender your steak really was."

It left a lingering thought in her mind as she went to sleep that night. It's a common statement, and one she's heard quite a few times, though in the context of meeting someone in person. They usually like to comment something nice like "your pictures do you no justice," or something along those lines. Hearing this comment online, and not even about herself, just felt… off. Though she tried not to dwell on it. There will always be a shroud of ambiguity when conducting communication online. It's a facet of this life that she must consider at all times.

Though as time progressed, the strange occurrences seemed to only intensify from that point on—all deriving from the same username.

DanteanNomad.

She recalled the name towards the start of her account, though he never actually spoke. That comment of her dinner was his first interaction with her. The first of many, so it seemed.

He had begun leaving comments on every new post she made, each comment just barely skimming the gossamer thread of suitability.

"You have such a captivating presence, even in the virtual world."

"I find myself coming back to your profile long after you've posted, just because you're always on my mind."

"I'm always eager to see what you'll share next. It's like a little window into your world."

He even comments in her lives, yet somehow only she seems to be wary of his approaches. No one else seems to notice. Her friends have merely suggested blocking or reporting him, yet something deep in (y/n) knows that won't do her any good. Especially after a certain post she made garnered yet another comment from this person.

"The blue sweater was a good choice."

It was his most unsettling comment. It was mundane like everything else he says, though the underlying connotations were beginning to surface in her mind. Because how else would he have known that she spent nearly an entire hour debating on wearing it before finally opting to do so? And through the gut wrenching anxiety which twisted her insides and tormented her heart, she successfully blocked him.

At least that's what she thought happened. However, he continued to appear on her account, as if her countermeasure did absolutely nothing to deter him. Neither blocking, nor reporting, nor even calling customer support for assistance. Nothing seemed to rid her of this plague upon her life.

His words were beginning to get to her, and she felt herself sinking into a dark chasm of paranoia. As if nowhere was safe for her anymore. As if her own walls seemed to be only a mode of voyeur for his own sick delight. It left her seeking an answer to her anxieties, worriedly searching her home with a wooden bat at the ready, yet coming up empty. Not even a secret camera nestled in any dark and unassuming nooks of her room. Yet these precautions did not sate those paranoid thoughts consuming her.

"How about we host a party?" Belle suggested, hope in her voice as the group of friends sat together at a cafe. "A little house party at my place! Just us. We'll invite some trusted friends and colleagues. Just let loose, without the worries of being in a public place?"

The group slowly turned to (y/n), nestled in the corner of the booth, sipping away at her beverage whilst nervously considering the proposition. Her friends had been nothing but supportive, albeit with a touch of skepticism in their mannerisms. They didn't see the cause for concern in it all, but they saw (y/n) and how the occurrences ate away at her. To them, she was perhaps going through a minor mental breakdown and needed all the support she can get.

So while the prospect of a party made her incredibly uncomfortable, especially during such a strenuous time as this one, she could see where her friends were coming from. She could see their attempts at a compromise. They wanted to bring her relief in the only way they knew possible, which was having fun and forgetting your worries. The thought was touching, even if the idea of a party brought a subtle edge to her disposition. She didn't want to be a damper on their fun. She didn't want to be the driving force to expel her friends from her life.

And so she found herself, rather unwillingly, nodding along to their idea.

With the party in full swing, (y/n) attempted to blend in with the other participants. Some faces she recognized, others she didn't. Names had begun to blur into one, and she found it more and more difficult to keep track of the attendees with every new introduction she received.

Sooner rather than later, she found herself slipping out the sliding glass door onto the balcony. The cool night air was a comforting presence on her overheated body, sharply contrasting with the sheen of sweat residing over every square inch of revealed skin. With the full moon hanging overhead,she allowed herself to drop her defenses, body weary from being on edge the entire night. The thought of leaving revolved around in her head, and she toyed with the idea, amusing herself with silly schemes of escaping under the surveillance of her friends.

The sound of the sliding glass door jostled her from her thoughts, defenses building up once more as she turned around and prepared herself for the battle of socializing.

"Hey," the man greeted, gently nodding her way. He was another familiar face of many. A friend of a friend's, no doubt. While she wanted to dismiss him, she knew he meant well.

"Hello," (y/n) responded meekly, nervously tapping a finger against the red cup in her hands. The man gave her space, which she was rather grateful for, as he approached the railing of the balcony and leant against it.

"Taking a break?" He continued, staring out into the city. Whilst his eyes lingered elsewhere, he carried that air that his undivided attention was upon her.

"Yeah." He never turned to her, and so she followed his lead, staring out at the city below. Though unlike him, her resilience was much weaker, and she continuously kept glancing his way. "You, too?"

"Just a little break. Never hurts to lay low for a few minutes. Get off the freeway and do a little drive."

Such a simple analogy, one that seemingly pertained to solely the party, though she couldn't help but gape slightly at his words. They seemed to transcend the immediate situation and coincide with her exact predicament. And the subtle dose of validation had her defenses weakening by the minute.

"Yeah, I get that. I get that a lot actually." Her voice wavered as her emotions seemed to take over, doing everything in her power to hold the onslaught of tears threatening to be released. The last thing she wanted was to startle away this kind stranger with a sudden bout of crying. Though he was just full of surprises she wasn't prepared for.

"Hey. Hey, it's alright. You're okay." His voice was soft, retreating from the railing in favor of comforting her any way he could. He hesitated in touching her, hands hovering over her body, though his presence alone seemed enough for her defenses to all but crumble as the first sob broke through. And then the next. And soon she was full blown weeping into this man's chest, burying her face into his dark sweater and releasing all of her pent up frustrations.

His arms around her were a comforting constant, rubbing up and down her back and holding her tightly against him. She felt… safe. For the first time in a long while, she didn't feel eyes upon her or the paranoia that someone was attempting to infiltrate her space. It was just her and him. And she couldn't have been more grateful.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, hands grasping at his top in desperation, not wanting this reprieve to ever end. He seemed to understand as he just shushed her and drew her closer.

"It's okay. You're okay."

She didn't know for how long they stood there for, rocking back and forth in this calming trance-like state. As if slow dancing to the acoustics of the cityscape below them. And it was all she could have asked for.

"Thank you. For everything." A final sniffle on her part, and she hesitantly shifted to look up at him. "I don't know your name." He let out an amused huff, arms still wrapped around her body, though retracting just enough to meet her curious gaze with his own delighted one.

"Jinyoung."

The coming days were a mix of ups and downs which rattled the very fabric of her life. Any semblance she may have attained had been washed away with the torrential events succeeding that of the party.

On the one hand, following that very night on the balcony, (y/n) found herself more than grateful to have met Jinyoung. Sweet, attentive, dedicated Jinyoung.

He filled her days with kind messages, reminders she was not alone in this and that he was always there for her whenever she needed him. It was a comforting sentiment, waking up to texts from him and then going to sleep on call with him. He'd send lovely pictures to her, like a dog he passed by on a walk, or the setting sun from the view of his apartment. As if saying he thinks of her in everything he sees.

Jinyoung through his ceaseless attention upon her proved how truly little her friends seemed to acknowledge her and her situation. The way he provided his undivided attention whenever (y/n) deemed to speak on the subject was further proof that her friends had merely granted her a percentage of the help she needed. She realized she was venturing into dangerous ground, though she couldn't deny the feeling that Jinyoung was perhaps the only person she really needed in this lifetime.

And he continued to prove that with every thoughtful action of his.

Though even with this brief reprieve, the plight seemed to only spiral more out of hand than ever initially conceived.

Again, it started out covert. Live streaming with her fans when she accidentally broke a vase of hers. It was entirely circumstantial, and she laughed it off for the viewers, even if she was disappointed in the cute decor she had picked out herself when first moving in.

Within a matter of days, however, the once demolished vase she presumed she'd never see again was found at her doorstep, neatly tucked away into a box. Pristine and brand new.

Her friends all praised the mystery fan who sent it, commenting on how sweet it was of them to do so, but (y/n) grew even more uncomfortable, as all she had ever shown of that vase was a single shard when it broke. There was no possible way for someone to know the exact item she once had.

Her suspicions were soon being proven with the first sighting of a photograph in her mail. Photos of her house. Photos of the cafe she frequents. Photos from her friend's house where the party was just a few weeks ago. All information she's never revealed online before.

The next set of images was that of her in her day to day. Walking with her friends at the park, reading at the cafe, even shopping at the grocery store. Images taken from afar, though unsettlingly close enough that she could have very well seen them had she looked around.

At this point, her friends were now growing wary of the situation, understanding the severity of it all as it had gotten this out of hand. Jinyoung was the one to suggest the cycling method. One person stays with (y/n) at all times. Whether it be staying over at her house or spending the day with them elsewhere, she would always be monitored by one of them.

Surprisingly, they all agreed, and the rotations soon began. Just as Jinyoung had planned, one person would take night shift, and when the next would show up for their shift, they'd leave. Things seemed to work swimmingly, and (y/n) felt more comfortable than she had in ages. She began reducing her time online, as well, keeping her online presence even more professional and disconnected than ever before. If there was anything she was doing to feed this person's delusions, she wanted to put an end to it as soon as possible.

"Where did you go?" Jinyoung asked from where he sat on her couch, eyes remaining on the screen where their movie was still playing.

"I went to get the mail before it got dark," (y/n) responded, pressing her back against the door to close it as she made her way back to the living room with Jinyoung. She shuffled through some junk mail and a few letters from fans before landing on a small mailer package. There was nothing attached to it. No return address or indication of any shipping company, nor did she recall ordering anything recently.

Absentmindedly, thoughts still wandering on the subject of what she could've purchased, she peeled back the sticky opening, reaching in to retrieve the item. Though as her fingers grazed a suspiciously familiar material, she retracted, eyes widened as fear began to settle in once more.

The fabric was unmistakable. Something that had been lingering in her mind for quite some time now, and she both wanted to confirm her fears though also run away from them.

Tentatively, she tilted the package her way, peeking into the mailer for a mere second before a gasp ripped forth from her throat, tossing the offending object across the room.

"(y/n)?" Jinyoung was immediately by her side, movie abandoned as he focused on the panicked girl hyperventilating and staring at the thrown package. His hands wandered about, brushing back her hair, stroking away her tears, squeezing her shoulder, anything to get her back to reality. "(y/n), talk to me. What's going on?"

She was silent. Her throat had constricted upon itself. The room seemed to sway in this infinitesimal spiral, as if her body wanted to shut down, though her brain refused to go unconscious. This painstaking tug of war that left her absolutely deteriorated.

There was a momentary lapse in her demeanor as Jinyoung's presence anchored her to reality. His soft and warm touch grounding her when she could have drifted off long ago. His sweet whispers murmured into her ear, drawing her away from the accursed object lying at the other end of the room. And she was once more glad to have Jinyoung by her side, lulling her to a rare yet ever so peaceful slumber.

When she wakes up, she'll explain it to him. She'll explain how weeks ago, as she did her laundry, she realized her favorite undergarment had all but disappeared. She'll explain how she searched high and low yet couldn't find it anywhere. She'll explain how she briefly forgot about it from how long it's been.

She'll explain how she finally found them—in an anonymous package delivered to her.

"Is this the last of it?" Jinyoung's voice sounded from behind (y/n) as she stood amongst a sea of boxes. A quick scan of the room, listless and barely even acknowledging anything, she turned to Jinyoung with a nod.

"Yeah… That's all of them."

"Are you sure?" He asked again, stepping into the room to stand beside her. She looked around again, though now she felt even less concentrated on the matter as his gentle touch once more rested on her, warmth penetrating through her sweater and stirring a sense of comfort in her conflicted mind.

Another nod, along with a brief and assured smile, and Jinyoung finally seemed sated. He glanced around alongside her, eyes scanning the many boxes scattered about his guest room.

"We'll get to packing after we eat, yeah? What would you like?"

"You can order whatever."

"I want to eat what you want to eat."

Her cheeks warmed under his attentive gaze, muttering something about giving her time to think as she wandered out into the main living area of his apartment—of course, with Jinyoung in tow.

As if he hadn't done enough for her as is, the moment that horrid package arrived at her home, Jinyoung had all but insisted she live with him. At least for the time being. Until she can find her bearings. Find a solution to this ordeal.

It had taken some insisting on his part, as she didn't want to burden Jinyoung anymore than she already had. He urged her into accepting, anguishing over the possibility of her being harmed while he's not there for her. How tormented he'd feel if she were to ever get hurt. And no matter how much she wanted to reject his proposal, insist that she could return home to her parents whilst she figure out the ordeal, she felt compelled to accept his offer. His soothing warmth encompassing her as she wept into his chest, the low timbre of his hushed voice quelling her frightened soul. Jinyoung felt like safety.

His apartment reflected his personage well. As if a perfectly crafted haven for her. Decorating which fit her tastes to a tee, kitchen stocked with all of the foods she loved to eat, even her favorite candle scent filling the air whenever she walked around. Her room as well carried this sense of home with it. Even with the swarm of boxes stacked within it, it felt like she belonged there.

All of this was only a mere factor of her new happy living situation, as the primary source of that security came with Jinyoung's presence. Those texts she had always loved receiving now transitioned into little sticky notes everywhere. Reminders to eat and take care of herself, to text him when she wakes up, silly jokes to brighten up her day. And when he'd arrive home to see her seated at his couch, the mirthful smile that would spread on his face all but melted her heart. The grins he'd give her as they cooked dinner together, watched movies together, existed as one together.

Perhaps that's why she wasn't too shocked when Jinyoung one day asked her to be his.

A sweet and simple declaration of love. With full stomachs and wine muddled minds, he professed how he felt whilst they sat in the living room, movie long forgotten as their conversation hit uncharted waters. His thumb smoothed over her knuckles, eyes ardently staring into her own as he spoke. It was undeniable now how smitten she was with him, something she hadn't truly processed with all that had been conspiring in her life. Though now with the light of the moon seeping into their home, intermingling with the warm orange glow of the lamps, movie droning on as mere white noise in the background, and Jinyoung's adoration practically radiating off of him in waves, she felt it near impossible to reject him. A shy smile and a whispered acceptance, their fates were sealed with a deep and passionate kiss.

A whirlwind romance that seemed too good to be true. Sticky notes exchanged for morning whispers and good night kisses. Cuddles on the couch, Jinyoung's soft and tender touch lulling her into a state of tranquility. As if nothing could ever harm her again. And for a moment, she had forgotten what had led to such happiness. What trials she had gone through to get where she was now.

It was almost scary how quickly she had forgotten what lay outside the safety of Jinyoung's apartment. Even the brief outings with her friends seemed to never spark that subconscious paranoia that had lay resilient up to this point. Her social media had returned to its state of normalcy. Live sessions were back to how they once were. Comment sections were filled with their usual dynamics of love and hate. And through a bit of hesitancy on her part, after checking the account that had been tormenting her—DanteanNomad—she was pleased to learn he had gone radio silent.

It seemed things were back to normal. And there was only one thing left to take care of.

"What?" Jinyoung asked, voice low as he looked up from his dinner plate.

"I think I should move back home." He remained silent, staring at her through his lashes with furrowed eyebrows. She took that as a sign to continue on either way. "I mean, your solution worked! I've been safe and protected this whole time. To be honest, perhaps a little coddled at this point." She laughed, though Jinyoung again stayed quiet. "There's no activity anymore. I think it's safe to go back home."

"I don't understand." Jinyoung put down his fork with a clatter, hands wringing together and resting against his mouth. "What about this place isn't home to you? Is it the guest room? You can just sleep with me in my room. Is the food not satisfactory? Are you not happy with the couch or the TV?"

"Jinyoung," (y/n) cut him off, a chuckle of disbelief expelling from her lips. "It has nothing to do with you at all! I don't know how you could have come to that conclusion. You've been nothing but supportive of me." His eyes seemed to endlessly pierce into her, still waiting for a valid explanation. "I just think… We should have space."

The silence was near deafening. The kind of silence where your ears ring to fill the void. A thick tension filled the atmosphere, this heaviness lingering in the room that felt almost suffocating in a sense. And Jinyoung's eyes remained trained on her. Gone were the warm and loving eyes of her lover. The eyes that would crinkle every time he laughed. The protective eyes she'd wake up to, already watching and waiting for her to wake, too. There was no comfort in his gaze now, replaced only by a dark, cold, unforgiving emptiness that twisted her gut into knots.

"Space?" He asked, eyebrow quirking up at the word he all but spat out.

"Jinyoung…" Her voice was wary, barely even spoken above her breath. "I don't want to rush through things. You have to understand. I want things to be as natural as possible. I don't want to jump into certain stages of our relationship that we're not ready for." Her hand shook as she reached across the table for him. His eyes lazily drifted to her hand and back to her, and after a few seconds, he reluctantly held her hand in his. Though the comfort she sought in his hold was hard to find, his touch feeling cold, uncaring almost. "If you think about it, you'll feel even more excited to see me when we meet. Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

The remainder of the night was perhaps the strangest she's ever seen Jinyoung be. He walked about the apartment like a robot. Eyes distant and calculating. Posture tense and brooding. He cleared the table, cleaned the dishes, prepared dessert, all in utter silence. Even on the couch, his demeanor remained as is. It was as if it didn't matter how close she got to him. The little kisses she pressed to his jaw to try and awaken him from this state. The swirled patterns she'd trace along his chest. Jinyoung stayed in this perpetual state of solitude. And if she wasn't mistaken, it looked almost as if he was thinking. So deep in thought that he barely even processed when the movie ended and she got up to go to bed. A final kiss goodnight, and she went to her room.

The next day was like a complete switch from the night before, with the return of her loving and affectionate Jinyoung. He helped her pack any necessary items, insisting she keep everything else here for whenever she sleeps over. He helped return her home, checked the premises to make sure she was safe, and even helped her unpack afterwards. To top it all off, he decided to stay over, and she couldn't have been more delighted to have this Jinyoung back, cherishing the cozy embrace of his arms around her again.

Like that, she entered another state of normalcy. A combination of her days before the online occurrences and her days after meeting Jinyoung. They'd spend their free time together, go out on dates with one another, alternate houses for movie night. She had to relearn how to live on her own, but the joy of living life without any fear made up for any discomforts she may have felt.

Life was perfect.

(y/n) closed the door behind her with a huff, tossing the sponsored packages she received onto the floor. With a heavy sigh, she trudged through the darkness of her house and into the kitchen, fishing out a water bottle from the fridge before turning to find the light switch. Though as she did so, she was greeted by the sight of flowers on her counter.

It was a rather obscure sight to behold. A clash of purples and yellows and blues. The ones she could identify were baby's breath. So, so many. Practically pooling out of the feeble vase the flowers were tucked away into. Turning the vase around, she searched for a note. Perhaps Jinyoung brought them in whilst she was out. Though when she did find the slip of paper she had wanted, it was empty. Virtually no writing at all. And while she was momentarily stumped, a brief flash of a memory sparked in her head. The memory of an equally blank return address.

A gasp surged forth from her throat, backing away from the flowers until she was pressed against the wall. She clutched her phone, ready to call for help as she slipped out of the kitchen. But then she took a gander at the living room.

The first thing that caught her eye was the pop of green suddenly in her vision—a moss green couch. Atop it were pillows that complemented its shade, and a throw blanket across the cushions. The walls were adorned with artworks she admired, bookshelves contained trinkets she fawned over. And atop the coffee table lay a candle of her favorite scent.

All of these things were mere fantasies to her, nothing more than fleeting desires for a future home. Added to a wishlist of her own to track them for future reference. Yet now resided in her living room as if always having belonged to her.

At this point, her mind was racing, heart beating out of her chest. Her eyes darted around her home to find that practically everything was unfamiliar to her. Paintings, vases, furniture, plants. Everything was different. Everything was what she had always wanted. Yet she had bought none of it.

In a surge of mindless panic, she bolted out of the living room and down the hall, eyes downcast so as to not see the walls lined with more unfamiliar decor. Once inside the sanctity of her bedroom, she planned on calling for help. Whether it be from her friends, the authorities, Jinyoung, someone had to come and save her from this hellscape of a house.

She all but shoved open the door, nerves alight with utter fear from what she had just experienced. Her hand clutched the phone like a lifeline, just about ready to call emergency services before she caught sight of what had become of her room. What nightmare had unfolded in the place she once considered her sanctuary.

Every square inch of wall.

Every available surface.

Every single speck of her room.

All of it was plastered with photos. Photos of her.

Ones printed from her social media just last week, ones from years ago, ones she had deleted immediately after posting, ones she didn't even remember taking. Shots of her walking around town with her friends or spending time on her own out and about, like the ones sent to her in the mail, yet these she had never seen before.

There were shots from her window as she did her makeup. Shots of her changing, though with horizontal dark lines obscuring the full images—grates from her louvered closet door… as if having been taken from within.

Photos of her sleeping in her bed... taken from right above her.

She stumbled back, a gasp catching in her throat as her pulse thundered in her ears. A whispered sob spilled from her lips, and then a defeated, mortified shriek as she crumbled in upon herself. Her body coiled into a fetal position, face burying itself into her knees. Her one refuge which hadn't been violated by this sickening invasion.

She didn't know for how long she remained there until Jinyoung soon came, the familiarity of his voice calling out to her relieving her anguish almost instantaneously. A remedy to her every ailment. (y/n) felt his hands roam across her, gathering her limp body into his own sturdy one, cradling her to him in his protective embrace. He littered her face with soft kisses, brushing away her tears and whispering reassurances to her. If he was shocked by the surrounding area, she hadn't been made aware, mindlessly nestling further into his body and crying out the last of her tears.

"Jinyoung," she muttered weakly, voice battered and defeated. He hummed softly, fingers gently carding through her hair as he rocked the two to and fro. Her eyes were shut, face pressed into the crevice of his neck, hiding away from the horrors of the world, the horrors of what she once perceived as her home. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, my love," he responded, voice mellow and steady. The vibrations from his chest soothed (y/n) as she grew more distant from her surroundings.

"I want to go home."

Those words were like music to his ears.

Everything he had ever strove for. Everything he had ever wanted in life. Like a confirmation that all of his hard work, all of the trials he'd gone through, had finally paid off. He had finally obtained his one sole desire—and he wasn't letting her go ever again.

A smile crept onto his face, a twisted and manic grin as his arms coiled around her tighter, claiming her as a constrictor does its victim. Taking a look around at the memories he had captured of her ever since he first met (y/n) online, he felt triumphant. Succeeding in both capturing (y/n) whilst simultaneously proving how she can never be safe without him. Victory was sweet, but this false vindication for a situation he himself conjured felt somehow even sweeter.

"Of course, my love. Let's go home."

#cix x reader #bae jinyoung x reader #jinyoung x reader #kpop x reader #cix fanfiction #bae jinyoung fanfiction #jinyoung fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #cix fanfic #bae jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung fanfic #kpop fanfic #cix fic #bae jinyoung fic #jinyoung fic #kpop fic

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cy-cyborg · 7 months

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Hello! First, I just wanted to say I love your blog so much!! It's been very insightful for me (an abled bodied person) to learn about amputees and physical disabilities 🥰🥰🥰

I've been in the early stages of planning my novel and was planning on using cyborgs as a big part of the story. The more I thought about the robot limbs, surgeries, living circumstances, and so on, I realized they parallel so much of what irl people today go through. Which is why your blog is so great! I really hope I can capture a lot of the nuance writing characters because I'm already so invested into their lives.

As for my question (sorry if it's been asked before...) but do people with leg prosthetics use wheel chairs after they relearned how to walk? If so, is it an occasional thing? Hopefully, my question makes sense.

Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it! That's actually part of the reason why I use "cyborg" in my name - well the main reason was because of a joke but I kept it because it works as a parallel lol.

As for your question, absolutely! It's most common in double leg amputees, but I know of a few single leg amps who also use wheelchairs too. the reason why is that prosthetics aren't a magic cure-all like a lot of folks think they are and they do come with downsides. The more leg you lost, the bigger those downsides tend to be. For some people, those downsides are just too much, or they just don't want to deal with it, so they use other mobility aids like wheelchairs (lots of single leg amputees also use crutches too), even if a prosthetic technically seems to work fine for them

For me personally, I have a chronic illness. I don't know what it is but I know one of the effects is that I have very limited energy. Putting on my prosthetics (one above knee, one below knee) takes a lot of time and energy, and i'm usually exhausted by the time i even get it on, so it's just not worth it for me unless it's something really important/I know is going to be inaccessible for my wheelchair (and even then I usually just won't go lol). Even before my chronic illness manifested though, when I used my legs a lot more than I do now and would have very little issues with them at all, I still sometimes used my wheelchair because I have shit time management skills and just didn't leave myself enough time in the morning to get ready lol. My wheelchair was faster so I'd just take that to work/uni/school instead. Also if I just wasn't feeling good, didn't sleep well the night before or a host of other reasons that would leave me with just a little less energy than usual, id sometimes decide to just use my wheelchair instead to make things a bit easier on myself.

I also had a mate who was a single leg, above knee amputee. I think I saw him wear his leg like... twice? in the 5+ years I knew him. He was really good and confident on it, and had no real issues with using it, but when I asked why never wore it, he said he just didn't like how the socket felt. It, and I quote "comes up too high, I don't like how close it is to my junk". Which honestly, is fair lol.

Prosthetics can also be really hard on people's remaining joints, especially the hips, so they get harder to use as you get older too, which is another common reason for people to learn to use them, and then decide later it's not for them.

There's a lot of reasons, but a lot of the time it just boils down to they weren't the right tool for that person. Sometimes that can for big reasons, sometimes it can be for something really minor. It just depends on the person and their needs and wants.

#disability #disabled #writing #writeblr #writing disability #writers of tumblr #physical disability #amputee #amputee representation #prosthetics #wheelchair user

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saikolikes · 4 months

Text

I Played Persona 5 Tactica, Here Is What I Think About It

I have long awaited Tactica since the first announcement trailer (yes, the one that got "accidentally" published by Atlus). After playing through the main story + DLC I needed to sort my thoughts & have decided to subject every other person on the internet to it.

First of all a few disclaimers: Did someone ask me to write this? No Do I care? No Do I need to sort out my thoughts out loud? Yes :D There will be spoilers for the entire game + DLC so read this post knowing that! Lastly, this post is highly critical but it comes from a place of enjoyment of the game and love for the series. If that hadn't been the case, I would've never spent literal days collecting all these words in one place.

So.

Let's start by: have I enjoyed my experience? Yes, most of the time. Would I recommend the game to someone else? Now that is a good question. Let's start from the theory.

What does Tactica want to achieve?

According to this interview by Business Producer Nomura, Director Maeda, and Composer Konishi, P5T had -- extremely summarized -- three main goals:

Maintaining the Persona 5 allure and imagery despite having a different gameplay and visual style

Making a strategy rpg accessible even to non-fans of the genre and non-navigated trpg players

Capturing "the straightforward and highly passionate feelings of the high school students, along with a slightly precarious, fleeting danger inherent in their straightforwardness" (Maeda, quoting from the Persona Central article previously cited)

If we hold what it said into this interview as our sole criteria for judging the game, Persona 5 Tactica aces most of it. I will go into each section deeper as this post goes on, but this game was clearly made with passion by people who have very clear in their minds what Persona 5 means, sounds, and feels like.

There is only one problem: it's not as clear who this game was made for.

Who's Tactica targeted at?

At its core, despite being a game that most likely only the more passionate P5 fans will buy, especially so far from P5's original release and so close to both P3:RE and the (plausible?) announcement of P6, Tactica's main story is so clearly made with the intent of being enjoyed by every possible P5 fan that the hardcore fanbase would probably be the last segment of players I would suggest that should play this game. Right from the start, it supplies you with practical notes about who is who, what key places you need to know, and other recap information from the previous game -- a nice feature, and very helpful... but clearly targeted at people who haven't touched P5 since 2017, or at least haven't been participating in some form of fandom in the past 6 years.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad with wanting to appeal to every possible player -- Strikers, too, was purposefully designed to be enjoyed no matter your starting point for the series, the game, the anime, or the manga (or none of these things, actually). I find some form of contradiction, however, in the fact that not only the DLC, which acts as a prequel to Tactica's main story, technically has light spoilers for Royal, but also... of all the people I know -- irl, on the internet, among gaming creators -- who played P5 the majority of them still has only played P5. They haven't been interested in the slightest in all these spinoffs that have come out in the meantime, not even in Royal. (more about this on Reddit)

My point is: at this point in time, with the infamous cow-milking reputation Atlus has especially regarding P5, the people who have bought and are going to buy the spinoffs no matter what are the hardcore fans. But this game isn't made for them for the most part -- and that is something that can sour the whole experience.

I won't get into the debate about the canonicity of the P5 timeline, but Tactica seems to have a few ideas and well-confused about the whole thing. Because the DLC is Royal compliant, even touches upon "Kasumi"'s bond with her sister, and is technically set parallel to Sae's Palace. Which sort of makes sense since Royal and Tactica share their producer (Wada). But then there is no mention of Royal canon whatsoever in the main story (01.29.24 EDIT: I stand slightly corrected, as Maruki does get hinted at... but I also stand by the fact he's not mentioned in a way that truly matters, and my point about the Third Kingdom I talk about later on is still valid). Sure, much like Strikers, Tactica does not contradict Royal. But between not contradicting and actively enforcing there is a world of difference.

During the game, specific events of P5 are referenced, much more heavily than what happens in Strikers, with Shido and the political scandal being addressed more than once -- to the point where the December calling card is what prompted Toshiro out of his subservient attitude towards his father. Even Yaldabaoth is mentioned and compared to Salmael, the Big Baddie of Tactica, something that in Strikers was left much vaguer ("it's been x months since we fought a god"). And this does not happen for any of the Royal content. Despite the DLC, the Royal-compliant DLC, very clearly linking its story with the main one. Even more, the Third Kingdom and Salmael have an unmissable resemblance with the themes of the Third Semester and what Maruki was planning, parallels so apparent that you would expect someone to at least hint at what happened between January and February at some point.

Instead, there is silence. The themes are loudly there (and I don't know if it's just me, but the Hideout -VT- ost has interesting similarities to Ideal and the Real - End Version -) yet not once, not in the slightest does Maruki ever get mentioned or referenced or hinted at. (01.29.24 EDIT: as I added before, Maruki does get hinted during a conversation that takes place in the Thrid Kingdom... but it's no where near how deeply interwowen Tactica's story is with the ending of vanilla P5. This is what I meant in the following sentence where I say there is a disparity of treatment because there absolutely is.) It's clear to me, given the disparity of treatment, that Tactica's main story doesn't want to contradict Royal in the same way that Strikers didn't, but Persona 5 vanilla is clearly the game you're supposed to have played before starting this one. Which, of course, is also reinforced by Akechi and "Kasumi" being locked behind the DLC. And I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that, if you're a hardcore fan (= most likely to buy Tactica), this probably isn't what you would have wanted from this game.

What Tactica does best

Tactica is a good game for the most part. As I was saying in my introduction, 2 out of the 3 main goals for this game have been not only achieved but aced.

Gameplay-wise, the loop can become quite addicting, especially between the last portion of the First Kingdom and the first half of the Second Kingdom, where imho the story peaks. The development team has done a damn well good job in reducing the structure of a trpg to its core and mixing it with what makes Persona 5... Persona 5. Much like the base game, for example, getting the upper hand through chains of One Mores and All-Out Attacks is basically how you progress through maps. Each Thief has his own Persona + 1 equippable sub-Persona -- even Joker can only use Arsène -- but they made sure to translate each different element into a different mechanic. I adored that, exactly like it happens in the first game, despite the combat being turn-based the characters seem to dance on the battlefield, with each action flowing into the next one as the hype builds up and either Lyn's voice or catchy drums accompany you turn after turn. Don't expect something too complex, as the game is designed to be accessible even to non-strategy players -- and surely I was disappointed by having to play with only 3 characters at a time -- but the fun is there, and to an extent, you can build each character how you most like them through a minimal but very efficient skill tree.

The music is another thing Tactica does very well. By now (Strikers, Royal, and Tactica) it's clear that Konishi favors aggressive guitars over groovy basslines and I didn't mind it one bit, as this became kind of his personal signature. The first portion of the game especially is full of banger hits that get later reprised and remixed as you progress through the Kingdoms. Some of my favorites:

Maxim, like many tracks, has an excellent use of percussions that resemble war drums

Tension, with clear Life Will Change influences

Infiltrate, back at it with the Life Will Change vibes and an exceptional use of strings that resemble horse hooves running on the cobblestones of a medieval city

Master of the Castle, which plays during the Marie bossfight, is an excellent mixture of the Tension theme with the addition of a more aggressive guitar and... bells! Because she's about to get married!

Amusement Park of Trauma, a strong detachment from the general mood of the Second Kingdom that perfectly serves its purpose

Recollection, a melancholic theme that through its notes perfectly sets the mood for what the player is about to go through as soon as they set foot in the Third Kingdom, much like Gentle Madman before it

01.29.24 EDIT: as the beta version of Last Surprise was discovered, I was able to catch a bunch of notes between 0.18 and 0.30 that I am fairly sure are present, rearranged/with guitars only, inside one of Tactica's OSTs too. I just can't seem to find it so I will add the specific one as soon as I spot it lol

Along the new tracks, some very neat rearrangements like Beneath the Mask (which somehow they managed to make it sound even more lo-fi than it already was) and Disquiet make their apperance, as well as a version of Prison Labor.

Also, contrary to what happens in the hellscape of info dumping that is the first hours of Strikers, tutorials are actually paced wonderfully here, and you get to be introduced to each bit of gameplay with little steps, and nothing gets shoved down your throat leaving you with so many information you actually have no idea how to play.

Additionally, the story is quite captivating, especially if you pay attention to what can seem to be minor details. Right from the start, the sheer need to understand what the hell is going on is what drives you forward, and by the end of the First Kingdom and Marie's reveal as Toshiro's fiance, you start to understand that the scope of the entire thing is much more limited and personal -- which is something I appreciated a lot. Toshiro is a good character, his cowardice at the start isn't just a funny trait for the laugh, but a flaw that is deeply connected with his personal history and, much like with Zenkichi and Sophia, the team did a good job in tracing parallels with the other Phantom Thieves in order to quickly build empathy towards him -- with Haru and Futaba being the absolute best matches. The same thing happens with Erina, who shares the rebellious fire of the Phantom Thieves and leads the rebellion against Marie. What I loved about her is her goofiness, I was afraid she would be the nth Strong Female Character -- seeing as Kasumi was very much your Manic Pixie Dream Girl -- instead I found a lady with a sharp tongue and a strong heart, who's deeply loyal but doesn't hesitate to fool around. She's really valid, I admit I wouldn't have bet on her character to be like this but I'm happy they took this direction with her.

So... all is good, right? Why do I say that the game "is good... for the most part"?

Tactica's recycling problem

Fundamentally, and believe me it pains me very much to say this... Tactica doesn't have a lot to say, despite what its developers declared.

The game's themes, characters, morals, and climax are all heavily derivative of themes, characters, morals, and climaxes that have already been more than explored within the various iterations of P5. Past the final portion of the Third Kingdom, the repetitiveness of it all became seriously unbearable. No thing, big or small, gets spared: this is how you find yourself with Toshiro mathematically relating to all the Phantom Thieves, even when it feels forced; how you have the battle against Shadow Toshiro and then Eri that is 1:1 what we saw in Futaba's Palace with the fight against Wakaba; how you have the nth Deity Wished By Mankind that wants to rule over Free Will; how the "Fourth" Kingdom is nothing more than a recycling, reskinning, recoloring of what you already played through the previous Kingdoms -- mobs and bossfights included.

It really does a disservice to the game, the fact that so many of its final portions are stretched out to the point of exhaustion, I imagine only for the sake of justifying the cost of the game with more playtime, something that is deeply wrong, especially if we take into consideration that the game is actually sold at (less) than the current average market price (60€/$, compared to PS4/Switch games being 60-70 and next-gen games being 70-80). It kills the climax that Tactica so painfully had built up to that point, and it made me feel like completing the story was more of a chore I had to do in order to get to the final cutscene (which... is fine, I guess) than something I did with heartfelt conviction.

Moreover, the deeply derivative nature of this game causes more than some issues, character-wise. Because this is a game with the Phantom Thieves... but narratively speaking, they aren't the protagonists: Toshiro and Erina are. This leads to a weird situation where the group, who has by now 2 god killings under their belt, remains stagnant throughout the whole game, as they have nothing to learn or improve about them, and too often they become nothing more than the mask (ah-ah) of themselves, with characters acting just like their archetype -- Yusuke, the starving artist; Morgana, who gets angry when he's called a cat; Ryuji, the dumb guy who's the butt of the joke. Incredibly speaking, the one who feels less like herself is Makoto: in P5 she can be tough and confrontational, sure, but you have to provoke her, first -- she's usually kind and collected, with a sort of mom-friend attitude. Strikers played a bit more into her punk side, and Royal gave us her wonderful Showtimes with Haru and Ryuji... but in Tactica, she's straight-up aggressive and quick to violence, often excessively, often for no reason. I have no idea what happened with her honestly, the day of the wedding in the imaginary vignette she even accuses you, unprompted, of cheating on her. Are the writers Makoto haters?

Anyway. My point is, as much as Toshiro and Erina hit home and do their job as characters, and as much as it's heartwarming to have the whole gang together again... sometimes, especially near the end, it sure feels like everything is just an excuse to have more Phantom Thieves content. Which would not be bad! But it is the moment Royal gets ignored and all the progress and maturity they gained is erased.

Overall, I think Tactica has a great cast and great premises, but the final portion of the story has really been dragged for too long, and the amount of recycling between ideas, assets, plot points, and maps is... not great.

Tactica's mysterious mysteries

There is a whole lot that is never given clarification in this game, and well beyond the realm of plausible fan speculations.

So many things went unexplained or even unaddressed. The Metaverse should by all means be gone at this point -- yet it's still working, and the only comment you get on the matter is "I guess it can't be erased completely" which is fine seeing how it's so tied to the human subconscious but an element so important to the worldbuilding really is treated like Just A Thing That Is Said and never given more consideration. Additionally, it is said that Kingdoms aren't Palaces... but functionally speaking, we explore Toshiro's Palace. There are cognitive versions of his family and acquaintances, there are memories locked inside the maps, there is his Shadow... there is no formal reason for it not to be Toshiro's Palace! Except that they needed to market it like an Entirely Different Thing somehow! On this front, Strikers did a really better job in connecting to the canon worldbuilding of P5.

Another thing that goes entirely unaddressed is how exactly the Phantom Thieves have been summoned inside Toshiro's cognition. The game explains that Shido's calling card was what roused Toshiro from his complacency, and what generated Erina as the spark of his rebellion... but it's never explained how the Thieves got in, especially given that it's explicitly stated that they entered in a different manner than Toshiro, who was kidnapped by Salmael, Persona 4 style. All the weirdness of this new world, Personas not working as usual, the Velvet Room changing form... everything is addressed merely in passing, diverted back to Salmael's doing, or even straight up commented by Lavenza with "I have no explanations for this behavior."

Again, lastly, some things are brought up and never addressed again, like the fact Erina can plant the Flag of Freedom but the Flag itself, as a mechanic, only has relevance in the First Kingdom; or the fact that doors with a projectile on it are used to traverse Kingdoms and are what evoked the Phantom Thieves, but no one will ever explain to you what those are or why the Phantom Thieves don't traverse one back to return to the real world, instead they simply... *fades to white*

But what about the DLC?

The DLC is enjoyable but has, on a smaller scale, the exact same problems the rest of the game has.

Some bits of dialogue and character interactions sent me flying, like the way Joker can tease Akechi in a way he doesn't do with any other character or the fact that whether or not Akechi is a Phantom Thief is treated as a complicated matter, and you can trigger some interesting remarks about the whole situation going on outside of Tactica.

Aside from this, the DLC most than anything else suffers from being set in a pocket of time that needs to be wiped from memory, firstly because these three characters aren't exactly a trio yet and only had one interaction together before this moment yet they act like they're closer than that... and secondly because the whole Guernica situation is a parallel to Kasumi and Sumire's story. So it really hits the wrong way, and it even verges on horror if you have the hindsight, that Akechi, Joker and Violet have to save a girl that lost her sister and is being brainwashed to forget her... while Sumire is still "Kasumi."

I liked the setting and I liked the paint mechanic and I liked how frankly brutal and visceral some scenes are. That is exactly my jam! But I couldn't enjoy them to the fullest because I knew they would have amounted to nothing in the grand scheme of things. The memory wipe solution was in store, of course, I saw that coming, nonetheless I found it deeply unelegant, seeing as they didn't even try to offer an explanation as to why or how the trio had their memory erased.

Also, it makes no sense for Guernica to be active in the real world at that scale if only because there would be no reason for her to never be mentioned anywhere after, and I quote, "pulling a stunt like the ones from the Phantom Thieves."

On a final note, since I mentioned the base game's price... contrary to that, Tactica's DLC isn't worth the 20€/$ you pay it. Not only because it's very short (4-5 hours if you rush, 6-8 if you take some more time to maybe restart some maps or replay some dialogues and gush like I did) but because the experience is overall nothing memorable, and the additional maps aren't enough to cover that. I stand by the fact you shouldn't judge a game's price by its length, but length isn't Repaint Your Heart's sole problem, sadly.

My final thoughts

Overall, I enjoyed playing Tactica (save for the final part) and it gave me some really stellar content, like the fake wedding scenes, Ann's best characterization across the entire series, Erina as a character, and overall a new occasion to spend time with my favorite band of outlaws teens.

I'm glad I had more P5 content... but I still feel I could've gone by with no problems without Tactica. Which is a sad thing to say, but it's true. Because I loved Strikers and I would never want to live without having played that game. Tactica, well... despite me being hyped for it a ton, it made me come to the conclusion that I am done with P5 content, especially if it has to be like this. If I feel nostalgic, I'll just boot my PS5 and replay Royal for the second time. And for everything else, there is fandom.

Thank you for reading this far if you have. You can find me on Twitter, Ao3 and BlueSky!

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #persona 5 tactica #p5 #p5r #p5t #spoilers #p5t spoilers #p5r spoilers #tactica spoilers #p5 meta #meta-ish at least?#not a review #not fully meta #but a secret third thing #aka my honest thoughts

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