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dirtytransmasc · 9 months

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In the book aemond is a psychopath, aegon a rapist, alicent a cunt. Haelena is the only normal child, in the show is the same. How can someone be team green? You said the are more 'complex' but no, they are just more problematic

the show is different then the books, by a fucking mile. the situation and circumstances for almost everything surrounding the greens is drastically different. when I talk about them, due to not having fully read the book (cause it's long and I can't get my ADHD to grab onto it like the show), I'm talking about the show. in the show they are significantly more fleshed out and complex, they earned far more of my pity than Rhaenyra and her kids did in the show, and I just liked them more.

in the books, they are bad people, but so is everyone else, especially Rhaenyra and Daemon. the sword has two edges. honestly, from what I managed to read/know about the book, everyone in that damn thing seems like they suck (outside of Helaena), but thats fine, that's great actually. a full morally grey to not so grey set of characters is interesting. they're all problematic, it's a game of pick your favorite sicko(s).

also the "Aegon's a rapist" horse has been beaten to dust. the only potential proof that he is one is from a very black favoring unreliable narrator who slanders the greens almost every chance he gets... so while I, and nobody, can say that it's 100% false, similarly, no one can say that it's 100% true either. (the vibe I picked up is that he may be a bit handsy without consent and a whore who frequents whorehouses as a customer, but not a rapist. doesn't make it right, but those two things are very different. I also think people tend to forget that the concept and age of consent in medieval times was VERY different. again, doesn't make it right. but there were things that were just... ok... then, that are far from ok now. all of this greatly effects aegons situation and the nuance around it).

Aemond was and still sorta (in the show) is a psycho. I won't deny that, but he has so many layers in the show, so many why's and hows to him and his growing instability, that IS fascinating and complex and I love to dig around in his characterization and psychology and I know I'm not the only one.

from the sounds of it, Alicent is like any other greedy noble ever, she's just a woman and a mother as well, so she's a bitch and she's protecting her kids which people don't like. Rhaenyra's also a bitch and she's protecting her kids. they all hate each other, they all want each other's heads on spikes. it's war between two sides of terrible people told through the lenses of unreliable narrators, no side is better than the other, "just pick your favorite asshole" seems to be the rule of thumb at that point cause who knows what the hell actually happened. (take this with a grain of salt, cause from where I stand, all I say is hearsay)

just let team green fans live their lives and remember that not everyone gives a shit about the book.

#I'm just living my life man #I watched the show #read a little bit of the book every now and then (Its interesting just the narrator style isnt exactly my cup of tea y'know?)#I'm vibing with the Show!greens #they kinda suck every now and then #but I'm sticking with them #and the Book!greens suck #and im sticking with them (I think. from what ive read/know so far)#cause they're my terrible asshole people #live with it #pro team green #team green #HOTD #house of the dragon #alicent hightower #aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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For the kink thing. As an Autistic person, I was restrained sometimes in elementary school, possibly early middle school because I was forced to put up with the classroom environment for the convenience of the school systems I've been in instead of being allowed to just go outside and not put up with people inside. It's hilarious to me that people try to defend restraining above all else instead of as like, a last resort in genuine emergencies where a kid could hurt another, because I ended up developing kink and fetishes around it that I've still got in my late 20s. Could you imagine the pandemonium over restraint defenders having to contend with defending the sexual side of restraint. Where there's adults giving kids all sorts of sexual fantasies and urges just so they can write on a sheet of paper about who threw tea into what harbor as a precursor to a revolutionary war? Especially when there's alternatives like just letting the kid read the textbook alone outside or something? Sorry if mentioning this interaction between adults and kids is uncomfortable but that's literally what happened to me. I honestly have no idea if that restraint can be defined as csa or if what happened to me counts as that, maybe that got normalized for me. You're a mental health expert you'd probably know.

Thank you so much for sharing about this anon. Before I respond let me clarify that I'm not the mental health expert, I'm a dude with a research PhD who's been in enough academic psychological spaces to recognize that most of what gets passed around as knowledge in our field are just pre-existing cultural biases with fancy scientific terms slapped on top of them.

What you experienced was abuse and coercion, and whether we deem that as sexual or not doesn't necessarily make a difference in terms of how bad and violating that it is. We also can't know for sure whether your kink came from this abuse, but that doesn't change the wrongness of the abuse or of how violating it must feel to enjoy sex that always harkens back to your abuse. You had a traumatic experience that has lingering effects, including being reminded of your abuse during sex, and that tells us all we need to know -- that you were hugely violated and that the violation lingers and affects how safe you feel in your body especially during sex.

Talking about the origins of fetishes is always tricky and fraught, some people in the kink world find that conversation endlessly fascinating, and others reject the importance of it entirely, but I think regardless of where one stands on that issue, it is useful for abuse survivors to be able to talk about how they have eroticized their mistreatment and the complex messy feelings that they have about that. not everyone gets a fetish from abuse, but for those of us who do experience a linkage, talking about it feels really important.

And when it comes to that dynamic, you certainly are not alone. I tend to think that much of my fetish for psychological coercion and mind control is strongly linked to growing up in an emotionally and psychologically repressive environment. Being expected to not only behave but to think and feel in a very narrow range of acceptable ways did a real number on me. as did being (forgive the term) groomed to serve as my parents' sole emotional companion and confidant. i didnt under go official ABA but i was conditioned to comply. and my body, the tricky little fucker that it is, has coped with that history by eroticizing it.

I'm actually really grateful to my body for having made lemonade out of this lemon. I could feel ashamed that my early experiences 'broke' me into only finding controlling and manipulative interactions arousing. and I could meet this need in an indirect, internally conflicted way, say by only dating people who actually are abusive because they're the only ones who really get me fired up enough to sexually respond. And I did do that, until my mid twenties. and it was very damaging to me, but not because what i desired sexually was bad. but because i was ashamed and i wasn't treating myself with respect, and those things are bad.

What works far better for me is being open about my fantasies and finding consenting adults with whom to play them out, and to educate myself on how to go about fulfilling them in a safer way. Or I can at least inform myself of the risks and the rewards and make reasoned decisions about them. that's good too.

That's all a long aside though. let's talk about you. I fucking hate that our educational system prizes compliance above learning. You're absolutely right, you could have just read a book about class subjects out in the grass far away from anybody and it's awful that instead you were locked into an overwhelming room and then physically restrained when you couldn't cope with it.

That kind of shit can really fray a person's relationship to their body and their notions of consent and that DOES affect their sexual relationships no matter what. ABA therapy grooms kids for being abused and for staying silent when they are sexually assaulted.

it can be a wonderful thing that your body coped with that lemon by making you the lemonade of a restraint kink, if you want it to be. But you're not any less enlightened or healed or whatever if you don't want to engage with that or if it's too triggering to. It makes sense that recognizing that your sexuality is linked to your abuse makes you feel gross and weird.

For me, what works is engaging with the kinks that scratch that powerful itch, and then engaging in aftercare, and not bothering myself with ideas about my fantasies making me broken or being ashamed of them or what have you. But from where you're sitting, you obviously have every right to be angry that perhaps your abuse was what saddled you with this kink, and that regardless of whereever the kink came from, your abuse means that enjoying the kind of sex you like is also linked to something horrible that happened to you.

I wish that we could have real, open conversations about this with the child restraint defenders and the child abuse apologists and every supporter of ABA. I would love to see their skin crawl with the realization that the abuse they put children through is so harrowing and world-shifting that some kids brains have to erect entire psychosexual defenses around them in order to cope. i get why you want to really throw that in their faces and make them feel as horrified as they always deserve to feel about advocating for this stuff.

But their reaction of horror would come with the implication that having a kink or a fetish is some kind of pathology, and obviously that's not an idea we buy into around here. it's not good for any queer people or disabled people to really make that claim. And in reality, the people you might want to share that information with, in a spirit of righteous indignation, would not actually be moved or persuaded by it. because they never cared about intellectual consistency or the consent of kids ever in the first place.

thanks again for the message, I'm sure it will bring a lot of self recognition to more people than you'll even realize.

#abuse tw #csa tw #aba tw

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lakesbian · 7 months

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saying that aisha has resigned herself to being one of the boring (16yos who think they're) adults in the room during gm would not be true because she still has a silly streak. but it's a Tragic silly streak now because her hopes for truly staying silly with it died when the person she wanted to stay silly with did. and now all of her silly behaviors come with the underlying acknowledgement that no one there is actually really paying attention to or getting her beyond seeing her as, like, an endearing annoyance who knows longer words now. literally outright makes a "pro tip just ignore me it's what everyone else does lmao" joke in front of canary and everyone. Just ignores that. ignores that she said that. taylor does not even stop to think "maybe that means something" she just moves on. and aisha also, despite literally still being in the same age range as alec was when he died, has now upped the things she was able 2 observe about him when he was alive (bc she's perceptive) into a full-on psychoanalytical retrospective wherein she certainly wishes that he was still around/had gotten to grow up with her but on some level is aware that he didn't and died when he was still a very sad little boy who understood effectively nothing about himself. so she explains how his brain worked to people who didn't know him well enough to see the obvious. and she talks about him in affectionately diminutive terms like constantly calling him an asshole because the thing she remembers fondly is that they were both asshole kids Together. but she is no longer an asshole kid, she's in charge of asshole kids now. her method for stopping them from being assholes is, often, out-assholing them, but she's still in charge of them.

which is to say that even if you bring alec back from the dead via ciara as early as humanly possible in an AU where he somehow got glastig uained his relationship with aisha is going to be weird and sucky for everyone involved because he was expecting his Fun Best Friend he remembers having lengthy personal conversations with just a few days ago back and she wants the person alec would've been if he'd gotten to grow up with her. but neither of them get that. alec only gets what he would probably term Lame and Mopey aisha and aisha only gets the alec that takes 12 business days to realize he just experienced an emotion. :(.

although. there are nonzero odds that they would meet in the middle (aisha is like "Hey man you know it takes you 12 business days to realize you just experienced an emotion right? you do have them though" and alec is like "what no really? seriously? aw shit okay" + alec starts infecting aisha with The Sillies again, which is actually good for her psychological wellbeing but pisses absolutely everyone else off)

#worm spoilers #scarf don't look

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azurestar · 1 year

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what if the flying graysons survived? (inspired by @31dod's prompt, but I took it and ran with it)

dick becomes a world-famous acrobat at haly’s circus. so, what happens to everyone else?

without robin, bruce is darker and single-mindedly focused on his mission. he doesn’t work well with others, and he doesn't have much to live for.

barbara still becomes batgirl– but without robin’s influence, she never gains batman's approval. she operates as an independent vigilante, and she’s mentored mainly by black canary.

several years later, bruce meets jason in crime alley. jason becomes bruce wayne's adopted son, and although he has no inclination to become a vigilante, he occasionally helps out on cases, runs comms from the cave, and helps alfred with medical treatment.

meanwhile, tim never becomes fixated on batman and robin. he has a fun night at the circus, goes home, and has a normal childhood— until his parents are killed in a plane crash, and he’s sent into foster care.

barbara's paralyzed and becomes oracle, but although she does keep tabs on gotham, the majority of her focus is on her own teams. the birds of prey forms much sooner: she has a pre-existing relationship with dinah, and– although she still disapproves of her lethal methods– she sympathizes with helena, who batman treats just as poorly as he did her.

stephanie becomes spoiler to confront her father. without tim's support, batman is even less accepting of her than he was canonically. but she doesn’t give up, and eventually finds her way to the birds of prey, who accept her as a teammate and a protege.

for some time, gotham’s vigilantes are split between batman and his allies and oracle and hers. it’s the no man’s land that ultimately bridges their operations.

when bruce leaves to lobby the government, oracle, huntress and spoiler stay to protect gotham. barbara, noticing the effect of batman’s absence on the city, suggests helena takes up the mantle. she agrees, and the birds of prey carve out a significant amount of territory.

in addition to the birds of prey, oracle has several civilian agents– including tim, whose foster parents left him behind when they fled, and cassandra, who recently arrived in gotham. the two become fast friends with stephanie.

when batman returns, he silently appreciates what oracle has accomplished. for some time, batman and the birds of prey work in harmony…until helena realizes that barbara has been psychologically manipulating her. she tears off her bat-symbol and tells oracle that she’s done.

meanwhile, cassandra meets batman, fashions her own mask and suit, and helps in his fight against cain. she begins splitting her time between bruce and barbara, accompanying batman on his patrols and spoiler on oracle’s missions. finally, bruce visits oracle, and asks for her blessing to make cassandra the next batgirl— implicitly acknowledging everything barbara’s done for him and promising he’ll be a better mentor to cassandra than he was to her. touched, barbara agrees, and the two become partners— both in rebuilding gotham and in mentoring cassandra. barbara and helena reconcile, and she rejoins the birds of prey.

damian arrives in gotham on his tenth birthday. recognizing cassandra as his father’s most trusted ally, he attempts to defeat her in combat. he's unsuccessful. later, while she and batman are out on a case, he pushes jason off the giant dinosaur, steals one of cassandra’s costumes, and attempts to join them. again, he’s unsuccessful.

bruce dies. cassandra, as his natural successor, becomes batman. damian insists on taking her role as batgirl, batman’s closest partner and heir. stephanie is cassandra’s second-in-command. they mentor damian together– cassandra teaching him about the sanctity of life and stephanie teaching him how to be a kid– and over the years, he grows into a hero in his own right.

#dc comics #dick grayson #bruce wayne #jason todd #barbara gordon #cassandra wayne #stephanie brown #tim drake #helena bertinelli #damian wayne #original posts

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the-slasher-madame · 2 years

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I’m curious. If the slashers had a s/o like El from stranger things (has telekinetic powers) how do you think they would react if their s/o got a nose bleed, or worse, passed out?

YEEEEE AN ASKKKKK

imma do this similar to my slashers and geese. I’m gonna do the first 5 so this isn’t too too long, but just tell me if you want the rest of them <333

Also I did established relationships

Vincent Sinclair: If you had explained to him your powers and where the nosebleeds/fainting spells came from, he’d be slightly less freaked out, but still thoroughly concerned. He’s gonna have a little kit put together so that when you’re done he can properly take care of you, and he’ll scramble to find it if you used your powers to dispose of a tourist. I think Vinny would be the kind who’s like “it is what it is, I ain’t gonna question it too much, just look straight ahead” if you get what I mean, like he isn’t gonna study you. He glares at Bo every time he asks you to do it as a “party trick.” 10/10, he Cares.

Now, if you told him about your powers by demonstrating, he would probably freak out a little lot. He’s just completely gobsmacked that you’re doing this, with your mind????? If you passed out, he might too. He’ll have 3 simultaneous heart attacks, he thinks you died. If its just bleeding, he’s still freaking out, but its only 1 heart attack <3

Bo Sinclair: he’s gonna be like a kid in a candy store, I’m sorry. He thinks its the neatest shit ever and will beg you to do little party tricks. At first he doesn’t realize the nosebleeds are from that (though maybe you wouldn’t get one cause its literally parlor tricks?? no idea), but once he does he feels kinda bad and asks less...but doesn’t stop completely lol. He is just so fucking excited lol. If you get a heavy amount of bleeding or pass out, he’s gonna freak (especially if its the first time that happens or the first time he sees you having powers). If he didn’t know you have powers, he will go numb and into shock. He thinks your dead, and he loses his shit. If anyone was alive near him, he’d tear them apart. He cradles you and is so soft because he genuinely thought you were dead.

Now, if he knew these were possible side effects, he’d be more prepared and still a little concerned but he can hide it better now. Either way, his aftercare for this is basically the same: he gets a rag to wipe off the blood and carries you to somewhere soft for you to recuperate. I think he’s a little softer with you most times anyways, and especially right now.

Michael Myers: another one who I think would treat it like a party trick. I also think he’d laugh his ass off when it surprised people. Like you may not see it or hear it, but he’s shaking with his laughter and letting out little exhales. If its just a nosebleed, he doesn’t really care, he figures you can handle it yourself. I don’t think he’s gonna have a solid grasp of human anatomy, so he wouldn’t understand that a nosebleed could be a bad sign. It softens him a bit, like he might bring you a rag, but he looks at it like a scraped knee (plus he’s had plenty of nosebleeds and other injuries, and he’s a fucking impenetrable mountain, it takes a lot for him to consider it a big injury). If its a lot of blood or you pass out, he is Scaret. Predictable, he won’t show it normally, but he will pick you u p and carry you somewhere safe and do his best to help you. He’ll wipe the blood off and probably leave half of his candy stash next to you🥺

When you feel better or wake up, he’ll be a little gentler with you for a few days, especially if he didn’t know about your powers beforehand. I think he may believe in the supernatural and paranormal because he’s A) seen it, 2) IS supernatural, and C) he didn’t have a normal childhood, so he didn’t hit most of those psychological milestones, so I don’t think he would “grow out” of those beliefs like most kids do. And I think he’s definitely met Bigfoot, they go drinking together sometimes.

Thomas Hewitt: another concerned boy. The first time the family sees you do anything, Luda Mae is gonna cross herself, Hoyt will think the devil’s finally come for him, Thomas is scared as fuck, and Monty just laughs and flips Hoyt off saying “they done found you motherfucker!!” Thomas will be good at taking care of you afterwards, wiping up you blood and insisting you rest while he gets you snacks and water. Actively hates when Hoyt tells you to use it to help with work on the farm or Monty treats you like a party trick. Luda is slightly terrified of you, but she sees how much Thomas cares and helps him take care of you.

After the complete shock the family gets seeing you do shit with your mind, Thomas will freak out, particularly if you passed out. Like he will run to you and kneel next to you, making crooning noises and waving for Luda (she comes, however hesitantly). He will not leave your side until you wake up, and he will get misty eyed when you come to consciousness.

Brahms Heelshire: this man-child is terrified of you. Like he will hold a cross towards you and draw a salt circle while holding a bottle of sage. He will hit every religion he can for protection lol. Once he calms down and you show him you aren’t gonna hurt him, he’ll let you explain. I think it would be a scientist that would find you at the manor, Brahms would come at him with a fire poker, you would teleki-snap the scientist’s neck, and Brahms would beat his dead corpse once you tell him everything. I think he’d be similar to Michael in that he may not understand all of the science or anatomy in question, and would do his best to care for you. He would mirror the care you show him and clean & bandage any injuries (would probably wrap your nose in bandages the first time lol).

He will be freaking out, but in a calm way if that makes sense. He will enter Nurse Mode to take care of you, but internally he’s screaming like a newborn. Absolute panic. Would try to scold you for not telling him, or for overdoing it. While y’all are cuddling later that night he’ll whisper to you that he was scared. While I think he’d be similar to Mikey, I do think Brahms may have a slightly better grasp of the seriousness/weirdness than Mr. Myers would. Might ask questions but would also be respectful of your trauma of being treated as a science experiment.

Finished!!! I tried lol. I need to catch up on Stranger Things Seasons 3-4. However, I have met Eddie Munson and I can’t tell if I want to kiss him or be him, we shall see. Thank y’all :DDDD

#slashers #slasher fucker #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #Michael Myers #rz michael myers #michael myers x reader #Thomas Hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #brahms heelshire #brahms heelshire x reader

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outofangband · 9 months

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Some thoughts of mine I expand upon from previous notes, about Niënor and Morwen and food post Nírnaeth

Note: This is not meant to be a world building post about what food could potentially be available based on the environment and the skills of the house however, I do have one that I’m working on and as always please feel free to ask more

Second note: Anyways just something always on my mind. My upcoming revision of my post on trauma and hunger will go more into Aerin and the other captive Hadorians! Please feel free to ask more, it’s something I’ve done a lot of research on and think about a lot

I think a lot about the physical and psychological effects of hunger on the Hadorians during the occupation including Morwen and Niënor ! I had some thoughts scribbled on a recent post but I wanted to expand. The the physiological consequences alone! Long-term hunger and starvation or food insecurity has physical, physiological and psychological consequences, especially for children. Each deprivation of an essential area of food leads to different symptoms from headaches and chronic pain to neurological symptoms and severe fatigue. And as Morwen is persecuted as a witch she isn’t really able to seek easy medical treatment (not that she would want to anyways). This makes her worry for Niënor even more acute. If her daughter falls ill, as I’ve talked about, Morwen’s options are very limited

I think about how hard Morwen must have worked to get the food she did with help from Aerin of course (Sador says she helped often though it’s difficult to know exactly how often) because Niënor grew tall!! Kids who grow up with severe hunger often don’t grow properly! Which makes me think that like literally the moment that Niënor wasn’t breastfeeding anymore and therefore wasn’t reliant on Morwen’s physical condition quite as much, Morwen was sacrificing a lot!

(Random thoughts about this at the end with regards to Aerin by the way)

I had wondered if Tolkien might just have overlooked that but he actually describes the physical consequences of prolonged starvation in the Wanderings really really well! And yeah I think Morwen was giving up a lot and it probably had lasting physical consequences for her. But even then Niënor grew up hungry a lot, definitely to the point where she stopped registering hunger and had a lot of difficulty regulating at first when she first got to Doriath

There’s also like the fact that Niënor likely grew up without being able to take joy and food very often, which Is very under looked at, but an extremely important part of food insecurity. The joy the people taken food is one of the most important aspect of it, as well as such an important part of so many cultures. Culture suffers under occupation, both the native culture of the Hadorians and immigrant cultures like Morwen’s. Even when it’s not intentionally being suppressed, simple lack of resources prevents people from being able to observe customs of dress, food and others. I think a lot about how the significant differences in environments between Hithlum and Dorthonion meant that Morwen was unable to recreate certain meals and that in itself is a source of loss*. But post Nírnaeth there are even less resources and Niënor had even less knowledge of Bëorian food than Túrin did

I don’t imagine Niënor’s childhood as completely devoid of anything remotely positive (though a lot of positive things for her were I think atypical and things she looked back on with more complex feelings in Doriath) and there were times when they had the right ingredients to make things she enjoyed (though whenever this came from Aerin, as soon as Niënor was old enough to understand, there was that element of bitterness to it, it’s hard to enjoy food when you know that the person who gave it to you will be beaten for it and of course Morwen always understood this)

Also I know I keep referencing this but I must once again talk about how Glaurung’s theft of Niënor’s memories involved such devastating cultural loss!

Because no one specific is denying Niënor food the psychological consequences won’t all be the same but there’s still a lot of overlap with my posts about food in Angband!

(Those will obviously be even more severe for the Hadorians who were kept as thralls, as I go into on my general post about food and complex trauma; we know from the fact that Aerin was secretly feeding and sheltering Sador and others that food was dependent on how useful one was to their captors and that people who were disabled or elderly were denied food. Chapter three of the Narn too says they were left to starve. Among the thralls, similar attitudes and culture appear to Angband; food is scarce and controlled that it acts as a divide, a source of rivalries and even betrayal. On the other hand people risk punishment to share food with others as we know from canon. People steal food for the ill or for children, plant things in secret, and hide the wares they labor for but are not allowed to own.)

Again I have a whole post about that kind of thing so I won’t go into it more here but yeah

That mindset of never knowing if you’ll have enough to eat the next day stays with you as do the habits formed from it.

And Aerin finds herself at the center of a lot of these things

Niënor is probably hyper aware of the food she has and doesn’t have for the rest of her life. She might even hoard food in Doriath, keeping it in her pockets, just for assurance. Perhaps the memory of hunger survives the removal of her memories. She was alone and starving in the wild for some time and the feelings of hunger do not register because her body is still used to them or alternatively, the pain is unbearable because the memory of hunger as something ever present and often pushed down has alyso been taken from her

In Doriath Morwen counsels her not to accept more than they need and in this Niënor obeys her in all except with food.

Morwen alternatively experienced hunger as a child after the Bragollach. She became used to it for awhile and I want to make a separate post about the physical aspects of her coming to Hithlum

Post Nírnaeth, hunger, like exhaustion becomes so ever present that she does not pay it any mind. And like exhaustion it takes a toll on her even when she feels used to it. Morwen knows this of course. She has seen people starve to death or collapse from exertion, unable to stand again. But there is no remedy for it and so she will choose the dangerous and false comfort of becoming used to it over the ever present distress of noticing.

Her health suffers. She has more headaches, is more prone to distraction. She still pushes herself too hard. She builds traps with Sador. Most hunting of rabbits and birds is easier farther from the house but this is often too dangerous. Even in the Narn we know that they must not travel too far from the house (I actually have a fic where Morwen and Sador are,..confronted, shall we say, while setting traps for rabbits)

She saves whatever seeds she can, stores broth from bones and roots. Eggs and flour are a luxury. It’s difficult to swallow the food she knows Aerin suffers for and that she was loath to accept in the first place.

(I think that regardless of/in addition to Morwen’s pride, the idea that helping you not starve is a crime with the punishment of violent abuse has got to get to you on so many levels)

Morwen doesn’t hoard food in Doriath but she’s absolutely keeping track of it, both for similar reasons to Niënor and because of her discomfort with accepting the hospitality of Melian and Thingol. She’s hyper aware of everything she (is forced to, in her mind, at least in part) accept. These traumas are intertwined just as her pride and grief are.

*I also have a post about this!

End of post rambling notes:

Random thought, warning for mentions of abuse and misogyny:it’s so pathetic that Brodda builds his new house by Húrin and Morwen’s old one but only after Morwen has left. I mean obviously it’s probably good it was only after that but it’s still pathetic. I do imagine he settles somewhat close, not enough to see the house but close enough to ride to based on information in chapter four of Morwen being brought information by his prisoners. Also I imagine a lot of their animals weren’t kept on the actual property given that he stole them but we know he wouldn’t go near the house. Semi related post about Aerin I’ll link for my own organization but yeah Aerin specifically being punished for helping Morwen is such a disturbing detail to me and I think/write a lot about it. It’s that Morwen is hated and feared and Brodda’s enemy (despite not having like, done anything to him outside his imagination) and he considers Aerin his possession, it’s two violent forms of misogyny entwined. Aerin helping Morwen is treason, it undermines Brodda’s ownership of the objects and livestock and it undermines his ownership of her*. I was wondering if he might enjoy the narrative of Morwen having power so he could enjoy taking it but given how he treats other women and how he never harms Morwen personally, I think he actually is scared of her at least also. But it’s such a dangerous fear (why I have so many fics and aus exploring it including with slander for a blade which actually has dialogue for him…though I guess the end of this piece too does, and a lot of privately posted ones do too…

*In HIS mind obviously

End of post notes: hey look I almost made an entire post about post Nírnaeth Morwen without rambling about her being called a witch so I just have to say: I cannot stress enough that Morwen Eledhwen, wife of Húrin, survivor of the Dagor Bragollach, is canonically accused of witchcraft because of her severity and beauty. She scares away the very servants of Morgoth by looking at them. “Witchwife they called her and shunned her”, etc !! They shunned her which means she was largely left alone (“after the first inroads, Morwen was let be” but she still lived in fear of violence for two decades and lived knowing that others were hurt for not abandoning her:(

Anyways :) feel free to ask more

#the silmarillion #the children of húrin #morwen #Niënor #musing and meta #Aerin #word ran among them #houseless for exiles #occupation of hithlum

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crisiscutie · 1 year

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Regarding the Sephology 101 course, I would like to ask about a basic analysis into the psychological aspect of Sephiroth. As a Sephiroth admirer since I was kid, I really love to learn more about the mysterious man

-🌹

Content Warning: Discussions of child abuse and trauma. Long ramble below.

Welcome to Sephology 101. The course is now open!

We know from the canon that Sephiroth's psychological aspect has been painted by Shinra ever since he was born. His life was defined by TRAUMA. Before he was born, he was subjected to harrowing experiments, the first of his many traumas. That's already going to heavily influence his psychology and his well being. That is not even mentioning other genetic predispositions he inherited from his parents. Being taken away from his mother as a baby was undoubtedly a traumatic event as well, and its effects can be felt in his life, even though he can't remember it.

Shinra has crafted him into the perfect SOLDIER. Dutiful, obedient, strong, intelligent. I'm sure they only gave him the bare necessities and concentrated heavily on the art of warfare. And like I once said, he must've had an immense pressure to always be the best. He can't let up or appear weak, he kept up appearances. I've read an official fun fact that Sephiroth was a full time frontline fighter before he was TEN YEARS OLD. That is tragic and wild to me on so many levels. I always knew he was a child soldier, but I would've thought he spent most of his formative years preparing for the battlefield and occasionally visiting it.

Being a child soldier itself is just a mountain of trauma. He was taught to do and suffer through horrible things, but deep down, he was seeking validation without even being aware of it. Children's love for their caregivers is almost unconditional, particularly when they are very young. They will do what is taught to them, they will modify their behavior to accommodate the demands of the adults around them and they will have a strong faith in the adults to cherish and protect them... I'd imagine Sephiroth lost this unconditional love for Shinra as he grew up. Especially when he was given autonomy as a reward for his growing fame, like the ability to wear his own clothing, decline missions, discover his own hobbies, etc. These all gave him a sense of empowerment. With this, he will see more of what others had that he didn't. There's also the factor of how Shinra kept putting him into one traumatic situation into another... No matter how normalized abuse is, you will feel horrible about what is happening to you in some way or another, especially if it's by something or someone as your caregiver...

Another psychological aspect to focus on is that Sephiroth did not have a strong social circle. He had very few connections. The four known and strongest ones being Professor Gast, Angeal, Genesis and later Zack in Crisis Core, when the last two before him abandoned Sephiroth. I will say Sephiroth was attracted to these four not just because of the familiarity and comfort they bring to him, but also their nurturement. They encouraged Sephiroth to express and explore himself, and let him know that he wasn't alone. They were his anchors. Being around Sephiroth often was a requirement too, and the more time they spent together, the stronger their connection. This goes for those who Sephiroth despises, too. They stood out amongst the gray and muddied world in his mind to become a person of interest.

What astounded me the most about Sephiroth was his ability to remain composed and devoted despite his traumatic past. He was often distant to most people, but he showed a special kind of affection to his select few loved ones, and occasionally gave this attention to the men under his command. I think there was a deep and innate goodness within him, which was unfortunately destroyed when the truth about his background and who his 'mother' was was revealed.

I think Sephiroth's empathy doesn't get enough discussion. And yes, he is an empath, even Post-Nibelheim. Let me explain: I think his empathy is rooted in his time on the battlefield, where he had to be vigilant and pick up on the slightest changes in his environment and persons around him. Great fighters are great thinkers. Outside of the battlefield, he uses his empathy to pick up on the feelings of those around him and to express his compassion in the best way he knows how. Even before he was friends with Zack, he knew he had a special bond with Angeal, and he felt a pang of guilt whenever he asked Zack to take on his assignments. In Nibelheim, he picked up on the deep yearning of his men, particularly Cloud's, to see their loved ones again and he showed concern for Tifa when she wanted to go inside the reactor.

Post-Nibelheim, his empathy is more twisted. Thanks to his time in the Lifestream and his Jenova cells, he was able to tap into people's emotions to inflict emotional pain. In my opinion, I think the biggest showcase of this is when he read Tifa's mind and created an elaborate story of how Cloud was just a Jenova puppet created by Hojo. That's a rather impressive feat, and he was so close to breaking Cloud then... His silver tongue is as sharp as his sword.

Sephiroth's sadism is sophisticated, yet viciously merciless. He desires to break others down and to project his own traumas and weaknesses into them. I'm fairly certain he does not think himself as evil and rather, righteous in dispensing the pain the world has caused him and his "mother"...

Anyway, there is much more unpack about Sephiroth, but that's what Sephology 101 is for. Feel free to ask questions or send some contributions. The course is open now.

~ TA C.C

Also, I called it on 7R Rebirth not being at the Playstation Showcase.

#sephiroth #ff7 sephiroth #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #zack fair #angeal hewley #genesis rhapsodos #c.c rambles #Sephology 101 #character analysis #character essay

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spontaneouselfcombustion · 10 months

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It’s very weird thinking about how things like míriel just Giving Up and dying is essentially???? Kinda???? Like??? Elf suicide???? Like she dies of her own will and volition. She even does it after a traumatic event (bc a childbirth that intense and medically effecting does count), in a state similar postpartum depression? Like she’s so unable to keep going she just Doesn’t. And it’s the first time that’s ever happened. And even living in the halls of mandos and just Vibing doesn’t help soothe and restore her. Even when she finally DOES reembody she says close to the dead and the goddess of sadness like damn, my girl is really going through it and elves never invented psychology so rip.

And just— when you put it like that. Finwë wife killed herself in paradise. She couldn’t continue and she chose to not be alive anymore. No one has ever done this (yet— I’m lookin at you thousands of elves about to get tortured n shit B) ). He’s got a wee baby to care for his wife just effectively committed suicide and he has no support because no one fucking knows what to do with this. It’s never happened before there’s no protocol for this. And she won’t come back. it’s not just that she can’t like with humans it’s that she’s choosing not to. It’s cruel to put it this way but she’s actively abandoning her husband and baby who love and need her. It’s not her intention and in many ways it’s something she can’t help but it doesn’t change that it’s going to feel like that for them. So finwë is just left totally bereft and isolated and pours everything into fëanor until the loneliness is so unbearable he asks to be able to remarry because he can’t take the sorrow and isolation anymore.

And then for fëanor man— she’s not just gone she chose to be gone and he did that to her. That’s so damaging to a growing child. Like it’s not totally true and míriel would never blame him but when you look solely at the facts— míriel is Fine, míriel has fëanor, míriel is so Not Fine she chooses to pass on. It’s going to eat at him. And again since this has never happened before and finwë doesn’t even have the experience of raising any other children to rely on for some of it none of it gets addressed really. Fëanor and finwë become intensely enmeshed and codependent because they’re the only two elves in all existence at this point who can comprehend this kinda is suffering and trauma. And OFC fëanor hates his stepmom and half brothers. It’s CLASSIC we can all look at fëanor and see like, the standard template of every kid struggling with changes to the family dynamic after a parent’s death or a divorce. It’s just no one here has HAD a parent die like this OR had a divorce. So once again no one actually knows what the fuck they’re looking at or what to do with it and so it festers.

I feel like if you wanted to you could sit down and trace basically everything bonkers fëanor does beck to míriel’s suicide and the subsequent events and dynamics it creates after. And not in a “it’s all míriel’s fault for being so weak and not just toughing it out blah blah blah kinda way” but just that all of this was so damaging, scarring, mismanaged, poorly thought thru on all sides, and just massively impactful even outside of their house (like they made a LAW bc of it, it’s the FIRST TIME these events have ever occurred, some might not have even thought what míriel did was POSSIBLE — at least on an emotional level) that OF COURSE it effects all his actions and choices. You could probably look at things like the kinslaying and find some shadow of míriel’s effects on him there.

Like okay— lemme just do just that in a very odd the cuff manner, just off the dome. No matter what finwë might’ve said fëanor had likely lived his entire life with at least a small part of him believing he is Bad and Entirely Dangerous/Evil. It’s the child logic of “it hurt my mommy to have me, she didn’t want to live because of it. I must be bad to have hurt my mommy so bad. She must not have loved me enough or at all because she wanted to be dead, she didn’t want to raise me. She must have known I’d only hurt her more because I’m so bad. Maybe she hated me because I hurt her so much she felt she had to die”.

Like— unless the gateway is wrong or I’m worse at math and reading than I thought— she dies when he’s around a year old. So he never got to meet her. He only has the facts and whatever flavor people put on it when they talk about her/what happened. He only has the facts of it and no real knowledge of her as a person to help inform why this would happen and maybe help him understand her and find a smidge of peace or release from that self loathing. He only has the idealized stories his father tells him about her (and you know finwë’s stories of her are all soooo glowing bc he’s in his own grief too) which can make him both love her as this Concept of a Perfect Mother who’d Love Him Forever and also make him feel Worse bc He Killed Her/Made Her Want To Die.

It doesn’t matter that fëanor is an adult with kids when finwë remarries— it’s going to absolutely obliterate his precarious mental health. And his new stepmom and half-brothers are all like nice, charming, well liked good people. Fëanor is not. He’s respected and admired but not as universally well liked as his brothers, he’s absolutely a personality you gotta have a taste for. It just hammers in for him the idea that something IS wrong with him. He was Not Enough for his father of his mother. Finwë went off to have more sons and that’s Proof. And it just Spirals from there for years as fëanor’s issues never really get addressed and the relationships spur and strain.

By the time his father his murdered and his silmarils stolen he’s 1) obviously out of his gourd with grief and rage and 2) probably going to find it easier to be The Bad One. Sometimes it’s just easier to lean into thinking you’re bad or evil or cruel. It feels like owning what people put on you or putting on an armor. And he can also tell himself that he’s avenging his father as his true son and being the bravest and strongest of his brothers, doing all the things they’re too weak to do. He’s already Bad anyway so why not be Bad and use that Badness to mow through every obstacle between him and the REAL enemy everyone else is too weak and cowardly to deal with? They should’ve just given him the boats. It’s not his problem they were fools. Didn’t anyone tell them he’s just as adept at destroying as he is making?

Like— I feel like there’s holes in that example and malformed bits but it’s literally just what I came up with on the spot to kinda prove my point. Míriel’s death, the nature of it and the repercussions on her family and elf society are just bonkers. If you want to sit down, think about them and map them out you can find the shadow of them everywhere without having to really get into any bullshitting or reaching.

#meta #silmarillion #feanor #finwe #miriel #feanorians #I kinda wanna go over this and reread/edit it but the app has crashed TWICE while I wrote this so I’m not taking chances #I’ve been listening to a guy talk about a book about a child who struggles with attachment bond creation and yes that did influence this #Fëanor really is the Most Specialist Elf Ever he literally invented childhood trauma and ofc was Super Intense About It #suicide tw #suicide mention

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evesaintyves · 2 years

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I really disagree with the post about Teddy. You really think he’d be mad at his parents for not staying at home while all their friends and fellow Order members go and give their lives for the future of their world? Especially when he grows up around Harry and the rest. Children fought and died but they shouldn’t have because they had him? I actually hate the whole Lupin asking Tonks to stay at home. They met as part of the Order, and she was an auror. Becoming a mother doesn’t change that.

hi anon! i'm sorry you felt you had to send this anonymously, because i'd be happy to have this conversation with you in a way that isn't quite so one-sided.

first, let me make something clear: i'm fine with whatever your take on Teddy Lupin's psychology is. i am 100% not interested in pinning down some kind of absolute truth about Teddy, Tonks, Lupin, or any other character. i think that's a limiting approach to writing about people. human behavior is a complex, multifactorial, emergent process that's sometimes difficult to predict or explain. this is one reason why i rarely post or talk about "headcanons" - i'm open to the idea of multiple, even contradictory, interpretations that are equally valid, equally compatible with the information available in canon.

my interest in is storytelling. i want to read and write stories about what it's like to be a person. all these characters - especially remadora and teddy, about whom there is limited and sometimes unreliable information in canon - are full of possibilities and opportunities for extrapolating what we do know about them into a story about what being human was like for them.

being angry with your parents for doing things they thought were entirely justifiable at the time is, for many people, an aspect of the human condition.

but let's talk specifics. the truth is that we don't know, canonically, how teddy lupin feels about being orphaned. to me, that means it's fair game for all kinds of interpretations. now, i did not write the original post (gonna tag @jilylicious to chime in on this if they want since it's their work and i'm sure they have their own ideas) but i'd like to address your points and tell you why i think it's a perfectly valid interpretation of Teddy and his relationship with his parents' memory.

You really think he’d be mad at his parents for not staying at home while all their friends and fellow Order members go and give their lives for the future of their world?

sure, why not? Teddy isn't a Remadora fan on tumblr, he isn't necessarily familiar with and sympathetic to his parents' story in the way we are. he's a kid who has to come to terms with the fact that his parents left him with his grandma as a tiny baby and went to fight in a battle that killed them. that's fucking unfair to him. he's allowed to feel all kinds of ways about that.

what do we think an abstract concept like "the future of their world" means to teddy? as a young child, probably not much, right? the capacity to even understand something like that - as a vague abstraction mostly concerning the well-being of a bunch of other people - probably wouldn't even develop in teddy until at least around the time he went to hogwarts (and i am not about to make this shit even longer by citing child development theories, but you're welcome to look it up). meanwhile, his whole childhood, he's dealing with the consequences of his parents' choice, forming an identity that includes "my parents left me with my grandmother one night so they could fight in a war and never came back," and probably developing all kind of feelings about that, right? abandonment, whatever the circumstances and mechanics behind it, is hard on kids and has knock-on effects that can be lifelong: issues with trust and attachment to other people, feelings of worthlessness, fear of intimacy and commitment. those things can be forged in early childhood and it's not as simple as being talked out of them with some explanation of why it had to be that way.

is Teddy's life actually even better than if his parents hadn't gone off to die? maybe. Teddy might or might not feel that it is. we don't really have any evidence that Lupin and Tonks's participation in the battle had much of an effect on the outcome. one or both of them might have stayed home and the battle might have been won anyway and he'd be chilling with them right now. the idea of his life if the battle had been lost is another abstraction based on political and social developments that mostly happened before he was born. understandable for young Teddy, and even adult Teddy, not to really grasp all the could-have-beens there. even with the war won, Teddy may have grown up experiencing the social stigma of being the child of a famous werewolf who's not even around to help him through it. reasonable and okay to be angry about that, and understandable to still resent your parents for putting you in that situation even if you agree that it had to be that way.

i would argue that, however childlike, irrational, or self-absorbed Teddy's early feelings about his own trauma are, they're probably going to inform his ideas about his parents for a long time. like, have you come to a rational, all-perspectives understanding of all the ideas you developed in childhood? about your earliest sense that life was unfair? i don't think everyone does, at least not without a lot of difficult work. maybe he comes to a fuller understanding later in life. maybe he decides that he agrees that it had to happen but he is still plagued by this anger and hurt that won't be argued with. i think this is a pretty relatable idea. things can be true but not feel true. things can make sense but you're still sad and mad about them.

Especially when he grows up around Harry and the rest.

he does grow up around Harry! and Harry lost his parents too, so maybe he's in a unique position to counsel teddy about that - but Harry's situation is markedly different from Teddy's, isn't it?

Harry's parents went into hiding as a family to protect him. they didn't leave him with a relative in a safe house and carry on with their Order duties. James didn't send Lily into hiding with Harry while he kept fighting. the fact that they stood their ground together and died there to protect him is central not just to Harry's story but to the entire HP universe.

how might Teddy feel about the differences between their two stories? maybe fine. maybe it wouldn't even occur to him. maybe he'd feel cheated and abandoned by his parents who left him and went off to fight instead - yes, Teddy was one reason they felt they had to fight, but might Teddy not see it as them going to lay their lives down for Harry and for a cause? imagine how that might inform the way he feels about Harry. Teddy isn't required, especially as a kid, to think about this in a way that we feel is rational or sympathetic to his parents.

even if Harry does his best to present the story to Teddy in a way that's sympathetic to Teddy and his parents, Harry probably isn't the only source from which Teddy is going to hear this stuff. it's gonna be in history books, periodicals, fictionalized retellings, everyone's personal Where Were You On May 2nd story - and those accounts are likely to frame what happened as a bunch of people dying for Harry Potter and the fate of the wizarding world. not Teddy being able to live a happier life. that might be difficult for a kid to grapple with, no?

finally, Harry didn't raise Teddy. Andromeda Tonks did. how do you imagine SHE feels about what Teddy's parents did? what Lupin did? she might very well have seen leaving to fight in the battle as another attempt by Lupin to go redeem himself with a hero's death instead of facing his responsibility for Tonks and Teddy (and, honestly, i think that's a possibility worth exploring in fiction about Lupin and his motivations). how might that have filtered down to Teddy and his understanding of his parents? Andromeda is grieving while she raises her orphaned grandbaby, and i bet she has her own anger and resentment and despair to deal with there - that's understandable whether you agree with her conclusions or not. it's not hard to imagine Teddy overhearing some bitter asides from Andromeda, or picking up on the tension when she answers his questions about his parents.

Children fought and died but they shouldn’t have because they had him?

i mean, you're not going to catch me arguing that children should have died instead of Lupin and Tonks. i have mixed feelings about the choice they made that could be its own whole long post, but they're irrelevant here.

Teddy doesn't have to feel that way to be mad that his parents left him to go die. he also doesn't really have to give a shit about those long-dead children - another possibly hard-to-understand abstraction. he doesn't even have to think his parents should have stayed in order to be justifiably angry that they left! even if Teddy agrees they had no choice he can still be fucking pissed off at them! the dissonance between these ideas is probably pretty distressing, in fact!

feelings are like that sometimes. relationships with parents are like that sometimes. grief and feelings of abandonment don't always listen to logical arguments. that's what makes this take interesting and relatable, to me. being a person is fucking messy as shit. i'm sure there's an interesting story to be told about Teddy... being fine with his parents' deaths or whatever, but it's not any more representative of the spectrum of human emotions and trauma responses than the ideas the OP wrote about Teddy.

I actually hate the whole Lupin asking Tonks to stay at home. They met as part of the Order, and she was an auror. Becoming a mother doesn’t change that.

i think that's valid! i totally understand it. i think the way the situation was written reveals a lot about JKR's ideas about gender roles and parenting. i have different ideas about those things, which is at least partially down to the generation i belong to and my status as a queer person and a non-parent. i also really like interpretations of Tonks as a soldier who's as committed to the cause as any of her male contemporaries.

but this is one of those times where, you know, there isn't necessarily a wrong answer. just to play the devils advocate, i could argue that Lupin asking Tonks to stay makes as much sense in-universe as any alternative interpretation: we're we're talking about two people in a pretty heteronormatively-written universe set in the 1990s. Lupin was born in the 60s and might have had the same kind of internalized sexist background noise as, you know, everybody else. Tonks already, canonically, put her career on the line by marrying Lupin and having his baby. they've both been hiding from the fighting for most of her pregnancy. (which, if you want to go down a rabbit hole, might be another reason for Teddy not to understand their choice - it was okay to abstain from the world-bettering while he was a fetus but once he was born they changed their minds?) if one of them is going to stay and be the surviving parent of a three-week-old baby i guess it might as well be the one that's breastfeeding him. we don't get to see a lot of Tonks being an auror and resistance fighter or hear a lot of her feelings about it in canon, especially after Teddy is conceived. whatever we may surmise about her identity as an auror vs her identity as a mother and all the other factors that would play into how that situation went down - it's just surmising, it's subjective interpretation, and there are so many different storytelling paths to follow from it!

maybe you should write an AU where that conversation goes down differently, or a post-war Tonks-in-wizard-heaven monologue about how she felt about it, or just a gritty breakdown of how it might have actually happened in the light of your thoughts about Tonks's character! if you disagree with all of my conjecture here, maybe you should write a deep dive into Teddy's process of grieving and understanding his parents! fascinating! this is what i mean when i say it's not about the truth, it's about storytelling: there is so much more art and wonder and discovery in exploring all these possibilities than in haggling over which possibility is Correct.

Edit: read the original anon's very thoughtful responses here:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

#remadora #teddy lupin #nymphadora tonks #remus lupin #hp meta

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onepiecetheorist · 10 days

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Theory: Urouge is half bucaneer or a descendent. (Spoilers below)

We didn't see much about urouge but every supernova had a role in the story until now( Law is a important ally since punkhazard, Capone bege gets into the Big mom family and help take her down in Whole Cake, we discover Bonnie is Kuma's daughter in egghead, X-Drake is an undercover marine, Kid was used to show Shanks strength, Apoo was the example of pirate traitor and Hawkins died in Wano). But nothing for Urouge so what could he his importance? It could be since Kuma is dead that Urouge will fill the void as a bucaneer descendent. He would met Nika like other bucaneers wanted to.

Now why i think Urouge is a bucaneer:

Well bucaneer are wanted by the world goverment and hunted down my theory is one of them escaped to the sky islands and that's how Urouge end up there

He is kinda similar to Kuma's dad.

He is also a religious leader like Kuma. Kuma was a minister at the Sorbet kingdom and always walk around with a Bible because of his belief that Nika will come. Urouge is a monk we don't know exactly his beliefs but he could belief in Nika.

He is almost always smiling even when he is angry. Like a twisted version of Kuma's dad and Saul philosophies( Saul probably has that for being a giant and having acess to the sun god nika philosophy).

Urouge's body can be a bucaneer's body. Vegapunk wanted to know more about the bucaneer's body because they were different. Well Urouge's body also is different. He gets stronger and bigger after he takes damage. We never see Kuma do that but Kuma had an akuma no mi that gave him basically the same effect without having to hurt himself so if he had a similar ability for being a bucaneer we never had to see him using it since that is not how he usually fight or he didn't even know he possessed that ability since he relied more oh his devil fruit powers. Maybe Urouge doesn't have a devil fruit and that ability is part of what makes a bucaneer so incredible. Devil fruits seemed to be uncommon in the sky islands specially since they dont have much soil for them to grow so wouldn' t be so weird for him to not have one. Of all the supernovas the only ones without devil fruits are Zoro and Killer and both are blade users so if Urouge didn't have one it would give some diversity.

So for now I think Urouge is gonna find Luffy soon and reveal his backstory.

This doesn't mean he will be a new ally since Urouge could be a bucaneer that couldn't hold up together after suffering so much and become a more moral grey figure. His nickname is Mad Monk the goverment often lies about his enemies like they did with Kuma and Luffy but wouldnt be a surprised if a pirate was actually evil or was more grey and sometimes did bad stuff instead of the luffy and friends approach. Even in the supernovas we can see that Eustass Kid actually hurt civillians, Capone Bege is part of the mafia, Apoo is a bad person even by other pirates code and Hawkins style of fight was basically psychological torture.

#one piece #one piece theory #one piece thoughts #onepiece #one piece spoilers

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veshialles · 1 year

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Was there a tipping point for Hyacinth, one decision that really sent her story crashing?

Or was the point that she was always going to end up here? That it wasn't just one big thing, but the culmination of a thousand little cuts?

~Jasper

It was a bit of both, truth be told! My original thought processes when building her as a character were: "what if I made a girl who Gets Worse™" and "Oh shit what if she was a space witch also!" But I have a lot of details about how it all went wrong. Anyways! time to psychoanalyze my own OC

So, Hyacinth's upbringing definitely brought with it a thousand little cuts for sure; orphaned in a traumatic shuttle crash at a young age, growing up in the slums of Marseille, France, feeling alone and abandoned, ending up forced to do morally questionable things just to survive and get enough to eat, fell in with a local street gang that had connections to a larger criminal empire. And, well, when you spend so long "just trying to survive", you might find that the mental switch for your fight or flight response could get permenantly set to "Fight", especially if your circumstances have you trapped in an environment that reinforces and even rewards your aggressive reactions and you've never sought counselling in your life because you didn't have access to those resources (and later because you think you're above "all that mushy crap".) Such as the case was for her, unfortunately.

When her biotics came in, Hyacinth (by then already well immersed in the crminal underbelly of Alliance and UNIN territories) began to make a name for herself as "La Sorciere de La Viste" and suddenly that scared little kid, tired of being pushed around, decided to become something to fear. Taking part in shakedowns, heists, smuggling rings, extortion rackets, hit jobs, the lot of it; doing whatever she could to gain an edge. A reputation which served her gang well, but soon caught the attention of the Alliance Military, who sought her out for questioning (and recruitment). They offered to clear Hyacinth's extensive criminal record if she signed a plea deal, in exhange she would get 3 full meals a day and consistent living arrangements, and while it took some intense prying on their part because of her "authority issues", she eventually accepted the offer and betrayed her old gang.

No less than a month later, the Alliance shipped her off to Jump Zero "Brain Camp", where their trainers honed Hyacinth's biotic powers into a deadly weapon, and she chose to specialize in Vanguard tactics. So now, all that rage and pain and hurt was being concentrated into raw mass effect fields with one goal: cripple the enemy with overwhelming force. She showed such proficiency in this that, after some years of dedicated service, Hyacinth was recommended for the N7 Program. Her hardheadedness served her well in some tests, and caused her to nearly fail in others, but eventually she did pass, through sheer force of will. Clawing her way up from a scrawny street rat to a fully fledged biotic warrior.

A few years later, Alliance Command shipped her off to the front lines of their conflict with the Batarian Hegemony, where she saw some of the bloodiest battles she would witness until the Reaper War. Which, as desensitized as she was to violence, did obviously leave her with even more physical and psychological scars for sure (not that she would ever honestly admit it, of course). All of this culminated to Hyacinth being put in charge of the final assault, where she ordered her unit to mercilessly pursue the Batarian forces stationed there, wiping them out at the cost of most of her unit's lives. There were rumours that her terrifying display of biotic power during the firefight could have created a "friendly fire" situation when she tore those Batarians to shreds, and while it was never fully investigated, she earned her unofficial title, The Witch Of Torfan.

The final tipping point though, in my opinion at least, was when Ashley died on Virmire. Because although her ruthless tendencies were alive and well in the pursuit against Saren, when Hyacinth was travelling with the Normandy crew, she finally had some sense of "normalcy". She didn't exactly "soften up" but she did allow herself to get closer to her crewmates than she normally would have on any given mission, because before she figured there was no point to it. The places she got assigned to were usually temporary posts, with temporary CO's and temporary squadmates, most of whom might probably die in the field anyway, so she tended to think "what's the point?".

But, over the course of her Spectre-authorized investigation, Hyacinth got very close with Ashley, who became someone Hyacinth could let her guard down around and actually have a (fairly) open dialogue with. Although they didn't agree on everything, they got along well and had some inexplicable raw chemistry, and Ashley even took to calling Hyacinth "Skipper" as a flirty nickname. (thank you modding community 💕)

If things had turned out differently, maybe she would have done at least some healing, or maybe she would have stayed the same. But when the fateful call came in, and Hyacinth was forced to make a choice, she ran back to the bomb-site. Not to save Kaidan, but to defend the team's main objective and ensure the facility's destruction. She hoped Ashley by some miracle might make it out alive, having seen her resourcefulness in the field first-hand. And when Ashley didn't make it back to the Normandy, instead of facing her grief and loss and taking responsibility for the call she made, Hyacinth chose instead to turn around take out all of her rage on Kaidan, lashing out at him in the conference room after the mission, in front of everybody, starting the bitter rivalry between the two of them that will likely never truly end. (yes he just survived the Cerberus Attack in my pt, and yeah she's a kinda pissed about it)

Hyacinth's loss on Virmire was what really "cemented" her ongoing train-wreck of harsh choices, because it was at that point when Hyacinth began to truly believe, whether she realized it consciously or not, that she was unworthy of "having good things" and "being the better woman", and that just maybe she was incapable and/or undeserving of changing her ways, and that the universe was an inherently cruel place as she had always believed. And by reinforcing that narrative in her mind, Hyacinth spiraled into a self-fulfilling prophecy, and would continue to make terribly harsh choices under this justification, with each Renegade action hammering this belief ever further into her psyche.

While Hyacinth did eventually find love and understanding again in Jack - a woman who, like her, had lead a similarly harsh life of violent crime, was hardened by it, and even understood what a life with biotics could be like - their tender connection borne from common struggles still wasn't enough to turn Hyacinth away from the path she was on. (At least she was a good influence on Jack?? Somehow??? something something cautionary tales I guess idk. thank you again, modding community💕)

I guess, in a way, the other major reason why she is Like That™ is because, at her core, Hyacinth never really stops being that scared little kid, struggling to eke out an existence in one of Earth's many forgotten gutters. She is still reacting to every potential threat and problem like a hammer to a nail, still willing to manipulate and betray her "allies" if she thinks it would give her an advantage (oftentimes without fully considering the full implications, and later on simply not caring about the long-reaching effects). Because she's simply never learned how else to operate.

So yeah, long story short; Hyacinth Shepard's unhealed trauma and apathetic/pessimistic worldview informs a LOT of her decision-making. And even though her regrets and sins will haunt her to the end of her days, she holds onto the core belief that she deserves to be haunted by what she has done, and the belief that she doesn't deserve to get better. And that's the tragedy of it all. Because like, it really didn't have to turn out like this. She was handed so many chances to do differently, to make a better choice, but when you take all of those events combined, it acted like some kind of horrible cascading domino effect for her, and because of that, it probably couldn't have turned out any other way for Hyacinth, sadly :(

#sorry for loving evil tragic messy problematic anti-heroes doomed by their own altered perceptions and unhealthy coping skills #as if it's my fault!#like I'm all for ''damaged characters learning to heal'' but sometimes you need the catharsis of watching a character get worse #and think to yourself ''thank gods i went to therapy instead of doing whatever the hell this girl's got going on''#in conclusion; there is something wrong with her <3 #long post #answered asks #jasper-the-menace #ruby's ocs #hyacinth shepard #mass effect #commander shepard #custom shepard

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weltonlasso · 1 year

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Someone needs to shake Ted and remind him that when oxygen masks come down on planes you put your own mask on before you put it on your kid.

I just can't imagine this ending well for him...

ABSOFUCKINLUTELY they do. Had about 5 old women comment on a Tweet I made about this to tell me that I was not supposed to understand the overall story of Ted Lasso. that it was “obvious I don’t have children” and couldn’t possibly get what is so beautiful about Ted choosing Henry.

(k. Thanks Pam, I’m so glad all the Facebook moms with the awesome insights got the Ted Lasso ending they wanted!!!!!!)

I have been telling myself—like legit people are saying 10/10 perfect finale, no notes, which is truly insane to me but also here’s the goddamn thing.

I am a child of divorce. My my dad cheated on my mom constantly when I was young. When I was 16 I got a birthday card from an address I didn’t recognize. I opened it, thinking probably an old aunt or something. It was signed “with love, your sister xxx and not mom xxx”

and that’s how I found out from one of his mistresses ON MY BIRTHDAY that I had another sibling. I just sat there in the driveway of my house while I tried to reorient myself to this new world I found myself in. AT SIXTEEN.

My youngest sister (by my mom) was 6 at this time. And my mom made her choice to stay with my dad out of obligation to their children. She didn’t want my younger sisters to grow up in a different home than the one we lived in. She wanted to raise all of her kids there no matter what.

He left us a year later.

Cut to the next 10 years of my life 17-27 trying to be my moms partner, confidant, punching bag—she took all of her anger for him and directed it at me because I was still there.

My life will never be the same because of actions and choice that my dad made that specifically caused me and my family pain. I have spent years in therapy and will probably never ever have a relationship with him again. Obviously.

But it also really sucked having a single parent who relied on me for EVERYTHING. It is only now many year later, in therapy, that I can recognize the psychological effects and the physical toll it took on me to play that role. And I had no other choice because I was a child and this was what my mom needed from me. I did not have the skills to recognize that pulling me into the role of adult and spouse and caretaker to my parent would fundamentally change they way I saw myself and how I interpreted things around me. I wish to god my mom had not put that on me. It’s hard enough finding yourself as a child, it doesn’t help to have the extra burden of being “caretaker” to a parent when you’re still learning who you are. When your feelings are never validated because you’re always making sure your parent is happy and supported. YOU FEEL VERY ISOLATED. It’s a fucking burden to have to do this for a parent!!!!!!!!!!!!! And be strong for them when there isn’t anyone to be strong for you!!!!!!!!

Phewww felt compelled and somehow that all came out and now y’all finally know my big connection to the show!!! Father trauma at age 16!!! It’s fun here!!!!! Let’s NOT do that to Henry, how about?

Cause Ted definitely would have had enough therapy by now to be aware enough of the pressure he’d be putting on his young son by acting this way. and it frustrates the shit out of me that the show can use this misguided interpretation of “therapy” to say LOOK AT OUR SHOW ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH and then literally drop the ball on the storyline, like legit. Just. stopped. caring.

Instead the show really said: like ya actually instead of all that baggage, let’s cut that for time. From now on Ted is just a mystical woman who floats in and out of the lives of the people who need her.

WHO NEEDS THERAPY WHEN U CAN FLY.

#I guess Mary kinda FLOATS IN WITH HER UMBRELLA BUT U GRT MY POINT #sorry for oversharing !!!!!!#but this therapy thing has just had me in a fuckin rage all day #TED LEARNED NOTHING IN THERAPY #ted lasso #anonymous #anon asks

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jaytoons7 · 1 year

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Time to ramble about Martin Strickland, AKA the bastard man!

Oddly enough, I actually have a lot of ideas for him. He's scum, But he's very fun to write for!

TWs: Abuse (Both psychological and physical), Transphobia, Sexism, Murder, Mentions of a car crash This man might as well be a walking content warning

General Info:

The Stricklands weren't always evil rich bastards. Martin's grandparents moved to the US from Ireland, Made a fortune, And got corrupted by capitalism. It stuck for future generations.

His parents were definitely not good people either. Martin just took that shittiness to the next level as he grew up.

He's cishet.

He's both transphobic and lowkey sexist.

The Past:

He went to college to study business. There he met two people, Aria Meadows and Jayden Foxglove (Jay's birth parent. Note: He used he/him and she/her pronouns).

The three became an odd friend group, Although it definitely felt like Martin was third wheeling Aria and Jayden's friendship.

Years went by and the three grew distant once college ended. Martin inherited both his family's wealth and manor. He eventually got married with only the idea of having future heirs in mind.

Once his youngest child was a year old, News went around about a pendant with unnatural abilities. He was determined to get his hands on it.

What he didn't expect was for Aria to already be there. She was on a mission to get the pendant as well. But she also learned about the Strickland's greedy desires and Martin's willingness to keep that family greed alive. She would not let someone with that much darkness in his heart get his hands on this power.

That's when Martin no longer saw Aria as an old friend, But as a threat to his power. So he killed her, Effectively destroying any good he had left in him.

Out of nowhere, Jayden suddenly attacked him. She wasn't a Music Dragon like Aria, But he went with her on this mission due to being friends with her. Out of pure grief and rage, Jayden left the scars on Martin's face.

Martin did manage to get the pendant, But left in a weakened state. Shortly after that, Jayden mysteriously disappeared, With her child being found by James and Hollie Benson.

Family and Business:

Martin had three biological children (Lynnette, Marianne, and Scottie), All AFAB. But he wanted a man and only a man to inherit his wealth. So he took in Benz Rodriguez (Belongs to @capturecharlesau).

Benz was considered the favorite child out of the four. Scottie on the other hand was considered the "black sheep" of the family.

Scottie could not keep up with Martin's impossible standards. While his abuse towards them started out verbal and emotional when they were a kid, They quickly became more physical as Scottie became a teenager once he learned they were nonbinary.

While Martin mostly used his ring hand, He also used wooden rulers when he was feeling extra ruthless...

Speaking of ruthless, He did many morally bankrupt things to keep his wealth growing, As well as to keep people quiet. Blackmail, Extortion, Even murder. Nothing was too low for him.

He likely talked to people like Vivian Arc (Belongs to @bluetorchsky) and Mr. Allwork (Belongs to @capturecharlesau) at least a few times because rich people business and all that.

Once Scottie was 17, They finally had enough of the abuse and ran away from home. Benz left shortly after to create his own path separate from his father.

Martin's Fate:

During the events of Shifted Timeline, Scottie tells Hazel Juniper about the Stricklands to avoid her writing about the Toppats. This was enough to cause an investigation.

Martin's horrid acts were exposed and he was ruined. His wife divorced him, Not because she was any better, But because she only married him for his wealth and she didn't want to get involved in his scandal.

Lynnette and Marianne also left home to go find both Benz and Scottie.

Martin was left with nobody and everybody now knew what he did. The last time he was seen, Was when he was found dead in his crashed car. After investigation, It was revealed that his brakes were cut. It was not an accident...

#the henry stickmin collection #thsc #thsc oc #martin strickland #aria meadows #jayden foxglove #james benson #hollie benson #scottie anderson #benz rodriguez #lynnette strickland #marianne strickland #vivian arc #mr. allwork #hazel juniper #jay rambles

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fairyphiliac · 2 years

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This ao3 thing devolving into a yes/no on censorship debate feels entirely like we’re dodging the real center of the problem. The need for censorship is just a symptom. If people aren’t able to post cp/blatant racism/etc. on ao3 anymore you can be damn sure they’ll post it elsewhere (not saying it’s not worth censoring, just that I want to address how these things got so deeply rooted into fandom in the first place.)

So let’s talk about it. (I’m mostly going to be talking about the production of cp/violent pornography/rape glorification, because that is what I know the most about, there are other facets of problematic media and in many instances racism and classism are mixed in with these things too).

I’ve worked in the adult retail industry for the last four years. I get a very unique and in depth perspective on the sexual habits of the general public. In a society where sex education usually stops at the bare minimum, and sex - especially kink - is not commonly talked about, you can be absolutely sure that kinks/fetishes will both develop and be expressed in extremely unhealthy or problematic ways. Especially with the internet, people - KIDS ESPECIALLY- are being exposed to sexual content that they are not mentally and emotionally mature enough for, and don’t fully know how to process. They develop sexual tastes without having a baseline understanding of healthy sex practices, consent, communication, and boundaries.

I did a report once on how media is effecting the sexual practices of the general public, especially the youth. (If anyone wants I can dig up my sources, they are in fact academic/ scientific journal articles, I’m sure I still have this report somewhere). Essentially the research shows this- the earlier/more frequently young people are exposed to extreme sexual media, especially violent pornography (which is INCREDIBLY easy for anyone to access), the more extreme their own sexual tastes become, frequently to the point that as a young adult they are unable to become sexually aroused unless violence/extreme and often risky behavior is occurring. For a lot of people who do not have proper kink education, or who lack maturity, or a whole slew of other reasons, this means that a perfect circumstance for real life sexual violence has just been created- and guess who usually suffers? The demographics most often portrayed as submissive or as objects of domination and violence in media (women, POC, LGBTQ+, even minors or minor-appearing…). So there you have it- unbridled access to problematic media contributes to real life sexual violence.

Kink is not inherently bad. For some it is an extremely healthy outlet, or even a way to process and cope with sexual trauma- if it is done by the book. By that, I mean following ALL of the rules that the true kink community is built on- safe, sane and sober, clear and informed consent, mature ADULTS only, established and clearly communicated boundaries, practical safety precautions, aftercare and emotional support. You can’t just skip all of that. Even if your involvement in kink is purely fictional/fantasized, you NEED to understand all of that because I am telling you, the media you expose yourself to can and will inform your own psychology.

So how does this all fit into fandom? Unfortunately fanfiction is a part of this cycle that flies way under the radar compared to traditional pornography. We cannot continue to have irresponsible fans writing irresponsible content. I am begging you to understand the full impact when I tell you that your fic sexualizing a minor, which is online for ANYONE to see, can be a building block for establishing pedophilic tendencies in readers. I need you to understand that your poorly informed and immature representation of BDSM is contributing to a growing taste for sexual violence among young people.

I am not “kink shaming” when I am telling you not to post harmful garbage. I am pleading for the sake of those who are already more susceptible to experiencing sexual violence. And if you feel like you have been a part of this cycle- exposed to sexual content too early, exposed to things too extreme, wondering if your own sexual tastes and habits are becoming unhealthy or if your “fantasies” are problematic or becoming too much for you to process comfortably- please PLEASE consider seeking professional psychiatric help instead of continuing the cycle by producing harmful media. Pedophilia is not acceptable. Degrading fetishization of POC or LGBTQ+ is not acceptable. I have a lot more to say about this but this post is already so long. Basically it comes down to this:

Take. Responsibility. For. The. Shit. You. Post.

#ao3 #Tiffany G #censorship #ao3 censorship #archive of our own #fanfic #smut

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