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scotodyne · 2 years

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Lethe Act I

The Beginning: One can only hope to win

warnings: language, angst, spoilers, graphic content

characters: Nanami Kento x fem!reader, Mahito, Yuuji Itadori

Chapter:3/?

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Your footsteps are the only thing that can be heard in the abandoned building that used to host mental patients, aside from the wind rustling and cars honking in the distance. When Gojo texted you that he had a job very suitable for you, the last thing you expected was a creepy, empty asylum. You had done some digging as Ijichi drove you here. Apparently, it was built in 1972 by an ambitious psychologist named Ryū Saeki who aspired to help as many mentally ill people as he could.

His compassion made you smile at first, but that smile soon was replaced by a scowl. He was cruel to his patients, he chained them up and wouldn't feed them for days as a means to discipline them. The asylum's staff was equally as aggressive and heartless. Most of the people who lived or worked here died in a huge fire on 1998, whilst the four survivors were transferred elsewhere and eventually passed away. It seems like the cause of the fire was some Mr. Miyako, a pyromaniac, but no evidence was ever found of this doing. The file also says that he was one of the survivors, but no record of his death.

The reason why jujutsu sorcerers got a hold of this old case is that three men were found there last night, completely charred. Now, why sorcerers and not the police? Because these men were homeless, and so was the one who found them and reported it. Police brushed it off as an accident with oil barrels being used as a fireplace and causing an explosion, despite the man's constant claims of hearing a very strange noise when he found his burned friends. After all, who cares about a homeless madman when there are more glorious cases to focus on?

Naturally, jujutsu sorcerers are everywhere, even working as police officers. One of them spoke to the homeless man, realized what had happened, and from there the news spread quickly in the jujutsu world. The incident occurred close to your area, so you got called in to investigate.

The hairs on your neck rise as goosebumps spread all over your body. You smelled it the moment you entered the building; cursed energy. Just your field of expertise.

«Okay my sweet curse, we don't have all day.» You exclaim, looking around. The presence is everywhere, making it practically impossible to spot its exact location. You keep heading deeper into the asylum, silent insults flowing from your mouth with each step. Binging American Horror Story really did you no good.

You put your mind to think before the cursed spirit has its chance to strike first. How are curses formed? They are manifested from cursed energy as a result of negative feelings flowing out of humans. It's highly unlikable that it was the late men who caused the spirit's creation, so who?

Your hands instinctively move before your brain has the chance to comprehend what's going on. Your body twists so hard that you can hear the cracks of your spine as you tightly grasp the rusty pipeline to prevent it from colliding with your face. You easily overpower your assailant by kicking his shin and bringing the pipe down to his face hard enough to make him let go and fall to the dirty floor. You're quick to turn him around and immobilize him by tightly holding his hands behind his back. He grunts and struggles against your hold, but you're a trained sorcerer with years worth of experience and he's just a weak old man.

Somehow, it doesn't surprise you that Mr.Miyako is right in front of you, trying to bite your hands off even if they're on his back. If you had to guess, you'd say that he waited many years to finish the job he started in 1998, and these men were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and definitely the wrong number. Looks like Mr.Miyako had such hatred for the asylum that kept him from fulfilling his sick desires that tried to burn everyone in it alive, and after his failure, that hatred remained, accumulated, and created the cursed spirit which burned the three men, even if they weren't patients. The number was finally right.

The pyromaniac writhes beneath you, laughing hysterically. You groan in annoyance at the sudden appearance of a human. Unlike spirits, you can't just slice him up and call it a day. Instead, you snatch the pipeline and hit his nape, successfully rendering him unconscious. This should do.

Your ears perk up at the bizarre noise that seems to be getting closer and closer. You leap away from Mr.Miyako's body, carefully watching the thing you came here for hover over him. It's an ugly-looking thing, as all curses are. In the color of coal, quite large, with four hands and eyes all over its expanse. You take a fat guess the eyes are as many as the asylum patients. The cursed spirit inspects the unmoving man with much interest and in a blink, its eyes are on you. It makes a weird noise, like a choked scream, and points its big hands towards you.

Cursed energy flows inside you like fresh water. That's how it has always been; swift, refreshing. You can feel it reaching the furthest nerve in your body, filling your body with incredible energy and adrenaline. You mimic the spirit's move, bringing your hands in front of your chest. The raging fire that spews out of its open palm is no match for the invisible shield your cursed energy creates to protect you. Much like Gojo's Infinity, your Aspeda makes you pretty much untouchable.

The blazing hot flames stop after a while, but you've started moving many moments before that. You don't feel like getting your hands dirty, so you reach to your back and pull the Dore out of its case, a powerful Cursed Tool. It belonged to the Gojo clan but Satoru opted to gift it to you many years ago, saying he had dreamed of it being in your possession since its creation. Indeed, the black polearm moves in your hands like it was made to be held from you, allowing you to slice the curse in half.

As the spirit's blood starts staining the marble floor, you pull your phone out and dial Ijichi's number. You inform him of the unexpected gift you'd have to deliver to the police and ask him to come to take you as quickly as possible, not willing to spend another minute inside this place. Mr.Yoshino, despite his petite form, is quite heavy while unconscious. You make a mental note to never accept jobs from Gojo again as you stand outside, the man on your shoulders, waiting for Ijichi to arrive. A drop falls on your forehead and you audibly groan at the dark shade of the clouds. Great, standing in the rain is exactly what you need after all that.

You thank whatever Gods exist that Ijichi is a fast driver when you see his black car finally approaching. He helps you load the man into the truck and you both leave the asylum, driving towards the nearest police station.

{...}

After today's mission, you can't help but feel the need to plop into your bed and never get up. However, duty always comes first. Nanami had told you Gojo would introduce the two today, so now that your mind was off the mission, dread about his safety replaced the adrenaline from earlier. You reach for your phone on the nightstand and almost yelp at the sight of five missed calls from Nanami. He's not one to persist when you don't reply and besides, he knew you were on a mission. Why did he call you so many times?

Relief washes over you when he picks up after two beeps. He grunts softly and greets you, but you can hear past the tone he's using.

«Kento! Where are you, are you alright?», you quickly ask, biting your nails anxiously. He sounds like he's in pain. Your mind quickly goes through his program for today. He said he would be meeting Yuuji today, so you obviously assume that the boy lost control over the curse and Sukuna attacked Nanami.

«Don't worry, I'm fine. I'll come home soon and explain everything,» he says and you can hear him sigh. «Before you ask, no, Yuuji didn't do anything. He's not even with me, I sent him with Ijichi to investigate.»

Investigate what?

«Where are you? I can come and get you, just tell me.» you try again and you're already at the door before he can answer. You grab your coast and start putting your shoes on when he speaks.

«You don't have to. Really, I'll come over once I'm done with the paperwork, won't be long.»

If Nanami was anything, he wasn't a liar. He was terrible at it, and you could easily see past it. Just like now. Paperwork? Does he think you're that dense?

«Uh, right,» you can tell he knows you're not convinced, but you decide not to persist, «I'll be waiting for you. Don't be late, Ken.»

He hums and ends the call. The cold silence feels taunting to your ears. You're supposed to be out there, strolling through the city in hopes of sensing Sukuna's aura somewhere, but there's just no way in hell you're going out when Nanami is in that state. Instead, you run around the house in search of the first aid kit, and you prepare a makeshift hospital.

The look on Nanami's face when he sees you fully equipped to perform a surgery is priceless. He was true to his words and wasn't late, but your thoughts overwhelmed you. You pull the latex glove out of your hand and throw it in the trash, rushing to welcome him home.

You don't know what got over you, you just know that anticipation and worry were killing you. You jump and wrap your arms around his neck, your legs curling around his waist. Nanami tenses at your sudden movement and the hiss he lets out makes you try to get off, but he clings harder to you. With you still in his arms, he walks toward the couch and sits.

«I fought another unregistered Special Grade today,» he breaks the silence after a while, «he had transfigured humans and used them as weapons. He could also transform himself. I had to go into Overtime.»

You raise your head from his shoulder and stare at him. Another unregistered? Are they just spawning lately?

«You got hurt.» It's more of a statement than a question.

«Ah, yes. I had it taken care of, don't worry now. Just a scratch.» He's not lying. You can see it in his eyes. «That curse killed three people at the cinema and who knows how many more.»

«Did you kill it?»

«I hope so. Yuuji and I killed curses today, but it turned out to be transfigured humans. He did well, I know he has potential,» he mutters and closes his eyes, letting his head fall on the back of the couch. You caress his face and smile.

«You did well, too,» you press a kiss to his temple and get up «Stay there, I'll bring you some tea. I'll draw you a bath too, then I'll help you change the gauge.»

He hums in affirmation and you head to the kitchen. It doesn't take you long to pour some tea into a cup and place some sweets on the tray, but when you get back to the living room, Nanami is already gone.

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stillness-in-green · 3 years

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Why Deku's ultimatum to Overhaul is bad and he should feel bad

This is a bit outside my normal character wheelhouse, but I really need to get a rant about it off my chest, so here goes:

The Deku and Overhaul scene in Chapter 316 is terrible. It is fucking terrible.

I took a whirl around Overhaul's tag up through when the leaks first started dropping, but didn't immediately see anyone talking about why it's so fucking terrible, only concerns about letting Overhaul see Eri (understandable, but baseless, I think), some empathy towards Overhaul's current state (totally warranted!), some snark about Deku being So Done with Overhaul (haha because who cares about Deku's stated goal of trying to understand villains, right?), and, worst of all, some cooing about how Deku was being so compassionate and noble by offering Overhaul that olive branch.

Deku was not being compassionate and noble there. Deku was being arrogant, small-minded, and so shockingly cruel that it leaves me speechless that anyone could think his stunted and hard-hearted "offer" reflects well on him.

Deku's entire motivation in this arc has been wrestling with the realization that he might have been able to avoid some of the desperate battles of his past if he'd understood more about the villains he fought. He thought of three very specific people--Stain, Muscular, and Overhaul--as he reflected, "Maybe it wouldn't have had to go that way if I'd understood them better." He then thought of Gentle Criminal and La Brava, people who he’d come to some understanding of, who he’d been able to soften the conclusion of his battle with by going along with Gentle's fiction downplaying what had happened between them. The whole line of thought was intended to contextualize his newfound desire to save Shigaraki.

It soon became apparent that Stain, Muscular and Overhaul were, in fact, encounters that he would be revisiting, as a chance to see how he'd grown since he faced them, and as a dry-run on reaching out to villains that would give him a chance to practice ways he might reach out to Shigaraki when the time comes.

Well, based on his performance so far, the idea that Deku might be able to reach Shigaraki is laughable.

Firstly, his tentative questions to Muscular were ill-timed, all wrong for the middle of a battle. Muscular laughed him off, and I don’t think there’s any version of that scenario in which he would have done otherwise. Muscular was a huge threat, gleefully violent, disinterested in conversation about his history. Obviously, right in the middle of a fight was no kind of time to try to figure out what made the man tick! But Deku didn’t get the luxury of choosing the circumstances of that encounter, so yes, that battle probably was unavoidable, certainly if Deku wanted to stop him from doing further damage. But the idea that because Deku couldn't reach him right then and there, it's impossible for Deku--or, indeed, for anyone--to reach him at all is fallacious. Not every person has to be able to like or understand every other person. If Deku couldn't reach Muscular, so what? That doesn't mean it's impossible that someone might. And that means an obligation to treat Muscular like a human being, to afford him human rights, to not stop trying to find a way to rehabilitate him, even as you safeguard other people against him.

Deku's battle with Muscular being unavoidable was not some great triumph, for all that the narrative used it as an opportunity to let him show off how far he’d come in mastering One For All. In the way that matters, the way that Deku himself is currently trying to better, he hasn't advanced at all. Imasuji Goto represented his first test in the lead-up to saving Shigaraki, and Deku failed it.

His next trial was Overhaul.* Here, again, was someone who Deku was explicitly trying to understand. So what was the one thing that was most key to understanding Overhaul's current motivation? What was the one thing that Overhaul was ranting about out loud, incessantly? And what did Deku conspicuously fail to ask about? Overhaul's relationship with Pops.

This was so easy. So obvious. And Deku didn’t even try. All he could think about in the moment he was faced with that broken man was the little girl that man hurt--all thoughts of trying to understand where the man himself was coming from went right out the window, flown away in an instant. Instead of asking about why Overhaul feels the way he does, he demanded that Overhaul feel the way Deku wanted. He was essentially holding the only person Overhaul cared about hostage for the remorse he wanted Overhaul to feel.

I'm not going to try to armchair diagnose Overhaul with mental conditions. I don't have the educational background, and I'm positive Horikoshi doesn't. But it seems pretty clear that asking Overhaul to feel guilt about Eri was asking for something that he might not be capable of feeling, at least not without years of therapy that he was plainly not getting in Tartarus. And if Overhaul is not capable of feeling that guilt, then what does denying Overhaul his meeting actually solve? Who does it help? It doesn’t help Eri. Doesn’t help the old man. It certainly doesn’t help Overhaul himself. The only person who gets any satisfaction out of demanding remorse from Overhaul is Deku. And even Deku didn’t look like he found it very satisfying!

Another failure. A meaninglessly cruel, petty failure. A failure that served only to hurt a man who was already a live wire of agony, to sentence an old man to a coma he might never wake from without Overhaul's expertise, and to deprive Eri of the only actual family she had left.

And look, Pops might very well not be the ideal guardian for Eri, and I'm not saying he should get to "keep" her just because of the blood connection, but it's not like he cheerfully handed her over to Overhaul and walked out the door! He turned to Overhaul because he trusted Overhaul, because he wanted someone to help Eri and thought that maybe Overhaul could. And when Overhaul's thoughts about Eri took a very dark turn, Pops first denied his request about using her to further his research and then, when Overhaul kept pushing it, chose Eri over the kid he personally took in from the streets by telling Overhaul that he needed to leave the Shie Hassaikai if he couldn't muster any more respect for human life than that.

But, you know, Eri is so cute with Aizawa and stuff. And Pops was a criminal. Probably. Maybe? I mean, he was yakuza, anyway, so he obviously must have been a criminal even if the police never actually arrested him. Apparently, this means it's okay to just leave him in a coma forever! Even though Overhaul absolutely has enough medical expertise that letting him talk to a neurologist about what he did to Pops might enable them to figure out how to wake Pops up even without Overhaul being able to use his quirk to undo the damage. Hell, Overhaul is also the person alive who has the best handle on how Eri's quirk works. He might even know what her accumulation condition is. Maybe a better thing to ransom his access to Pops with would be Overhaul telling Aizawa everything he knows about Eri's quirk so Aizawa can use the knowledge to help her get a better handle on it.

But no. Obviously undoing some small part of the concrete harm Overhaul did was less important than how Deku felt about that harm.

And there's more! Oh, is there ever. I called Deku arrogant before; let me circle back to that.

Deku said that if Chisaki would feel the way Deku wanted him to feel, then Deku would uphold the promise to let Overhaul see Pops. But where in hell did Deku get off making that claim? Deku is a student. He's not a pro. He has no authority, medical, legal, carceral or otherwise. He has no say in where Overhaul goes or who he's allowed to see.

What the fuck? What the actual fuck? What kind of strings did Deku think he could pull that he could just casually make that claim without so much as going into a huddle with Hawks and Endeavor about it first? How inflated has this kid's sense of importance gotten that he made Overhaul that promise without even stopping to think about whether it was something he was in any position to ensure? It was such a bullshit ultimatum, not only because of how needlessly obstructive it was, but because it was so formless.

"If only you would feel a wish to apologize to Eri…" Okay, so what if Overhaul goes back to prison and, three days later, calls out to say, "Okay, I thought about it and I really feel like I want to apologize, now can I see Pops already?" Who gets to make that judgment call? Deku? Is he going to drop his faux-vigilante act and come visit Overhaul in prison just so he can squint at the man really hard to see if he's lying? Is Deku going to delegate the call to someone else? All Might? Hawks? A prison warden? A psychologist? Who? Who gets to be the one to say, "Okay, I think his remorse is genuine."

Then, once that call has been made, how many people have to arrange for Overhaul to be escorted out of prison and to whatever hospital Pops is in? Will Deku get to oversee that visit? Does he think he can overturn a warden declaring, "The scum doesn't deserve a visit, and the old man probably doesn't either," or a doctor protesting, "I'm not letting that man anywhere near my patient!"

The hell of it is, I think Deku could do all of that. He's got a close personal connection to All Might, who was basically a demi-god to this society for decades; he has the ear of the current top three heroes. Everyone is apparently convinced that the power to save this society rests solely in Deku's hands; I'm sure he could ask for anything he wanted. But the fact that that is the case suggests that this society is not even slightly turning away from its dependence on heroes dictating its morality. A hero having the sole right to dictate, out of hand, based on his personal feelings, the fate of people designated "villains" while the rest of society turns away is exactly what Shigaraki is angry about.

The only thing worse than Deku perpetuating the worst problems of hero society in an arc that's supposed to be about him finding a better way is that he didn’t even stop to think about it. It never even occurred to him that that was what he was doing. He thought that what he was asking of Chisaki was just and fair, and thus, he didn’t need to ask for any second opinions or permissions; he didn’t need to think about what would actually be feasible, about what was best for the people involved. He'd made his judgment call about a villain, and that's all there was to it. The villain could fall in line or--nothing. There isn't actually another choice. Hero's way or nothing

I hate it. I hate it. I don't care about whether Overhaul "deserves" to suffer; heroes making the cold decision that they will make him suffer is antithetical to everything a carceral system intended to rehabilitate prisoners stands for. And yes, Japan does at least claim on paper that the goal of incarceration in state hands is rehabilitation.

Restorative justice is superior to retributive justice. It's better for society and it's better for individuals. It is kinder, it is more compassionate. Retributive justice poisons people. It perpetuates suffering for no reason but moral grandstanding. Individuals are allowed to forgive or not forgive anyone they want, but a society should conduct itself with an eye to the long-term welfare of all of its people. That means that even the worst kinds of criminals still have human rights. It means not inflicting pain that serves no purpose.

I've gotten off-track here. Yes, I think that if Overhaul could feel regret about Eri, that would obviously be a positive development for his character. It'd hurt like hell, but it would be a hurt that indicated he was becoming a better person, a person who wanted to do more good, less ill, with his life and efforts. But you can't mandate that someone become a better person. No ultimatum handed down from on high is going to change Overhaul's heart. Telling someone, "I'll help you, but only if you only feel the way I want you to feel. Otherwise, you can just stay there and suffer," is not reaching out to help people who are suffering in the dark, which is, again, what Deku claimed he wanted to do, what he begged for Nagant's help in doing, the way he insisted to the vestiges that OFA should be used.

Deku writing people off because they don't conform to his expectations, because they can't be "good" the way he wants them to be, nor even "bad" in ways he can understand, is him failing to live up to his own expressed ideals. "I wish you'd feel bad about hurting people," wasn't enough to reach Muscular or Overhaul, and it damn well shouldn't be enough to reach Shigaraki.

Cruelty does not beget kindness. You cannot treat people with only callousness and severity, then condemn them for not taking the opportunity to grow. You have to give them opportunities to better themselves. For Overhaul, giving him an opportunity would be letting him help the man he wronged and then moving forward from there. Telling him to feel regret about Eri or else? That's doing nothing but sweeping his pain back under the rug.

---

*I have more or less exhausted my outrage over Lady Nagant in chats with friends, so I'll spare the rant on how disjointed, contradictory and ludicrous her turn was; the gist is "very, on all counts."

---

P.S. Anyone who says that Overhaul "has nothing left to live for" is being a level of ableist that defies description. Prosthetics exist. Assistive devices exist. Speech-to-text software exists. Overhaul is intelligent, driven and highly educated. Even if he never got prosthetics at all, there would still be things he could contribute to the world if he were motivated to do so. The better thing to do, though, would be to get the man some damn prosthetics, hook him up with the neurologist consulting on Pops' case, and let the two of them get on with the matter of waking up the old man.

P.P.S. Overhaul spent six months in solitary confinement. The United Nations considers solitary confinement exceeding 15 days to be a form of torture. Solitary confinement creates severe mental health issues and exacerbates existing ones. It frequently leads to a deadening of empathy, something Overhaul has in little enough amounts as it is. It is absurd to ask a man who's just come out of these conditions to "feel sorry for what you did to Eri," especially if you're planning to turn around and send him right back to solitary. Tartarus is inhuman, and the only reason more of the escapees aren't total wrecks like Overhaul is because Horikoshi clearly didn't bother to do the reading on the wide array of problems that those characters should be experiencing physically, mentally and socially.

#bnha #bnha critical #deku critical #bnha overhaul #chisaki kai #bnha muscular #my writing?#stillness has salt #bnha spoilers #one last salty post before I go back to working on things for characters and plots I actually like in this series #taking my life into my hands and posting this in the tags #but seriously #please please let Horikoshi realize #that Deku saying he wants to use OFA to save villains and then doing nothing but using OFA to beat them down again #is not Deku WINNING #it is Deku LOSING #saving someone takes more than rescuing them from a bullet that wasn't going to hit them anyway #if you don't have follow-through then you're just condemning people to fall through the cracks

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barnesandco · 3 years

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Little Hands (V)

Series Masterlist

Bucky treats you to a day out.

This is an entry for @star-spangled-bingo 2021. Word count: 1625. Square filled: “Lucky (Clint’s dog)”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Police. Sad child.

A/N: This is so late and I am so sorry. Let me know what you think! And massive thank you’s to anyone who is still reading this disaster.

Morning brings a new perspective, a new ease in the way Bucky moves around Ana. He pretends he doesn’t know that you witnessed the way they bonded last night, and for that benefit you don’t bring it up. It’s discussed and laid to rest with the intelligent smile you give him, one that he lets dissolve through his sternum and curl around his heart. Tendrils of soft hope, wisps of quiet connection, strengthening the friendship you’ve established and glinting with promise of something more.

Something more might have to wait, but Bucky thinks you’ve made it clear that it is there, on the horizon, awaiting you both. A future, one that, on his part, also involves the little soul that sits on top of the kitchen island, swinging her legs into the cabinets. Children are early risers, and so are superheroes, but today, on this cool morning, Anastasia has them beat.

So, it’s just the three of you. Bucky, and Anastasia, and you. You’re cutting up fruit and washing berries for the pancakes he’s making while you also remotely monitor the tea. A minty brew, warm, topped with honey and lemon, sharp enough to wake lingering drowsiness while still soothing, syrup-soft. You know your stuff, and Bucky’s glad to have a change of pace after a fast week of too much too strong too sweet coffee, even if he chooses to have it that way.

This particular change of pace would give him whiplash if not for the fact that he got a good night’s sleep, Anastasia’s nightmares notwithstanding. It has strengthened his resolve to find her a child psychologist, somebody who can help her better than he can, once this ordeal with Tobias Zola is over and they are all safe.

He needs to keep her safe. It was her mother’s – no, her final caretaker’s – last wish and request, and now that they are tied by blood, it has become his. She really looks so much like him. Her hair hasn’t developed the same brown yet, it’s still a shade lighter, with hints of golden for the lesser age, the summer sun bleaching that has yet to pass. It’s curly like his never was, likely an affectation of whatever female contribution is in her genetics.

Her genetics. Bucky shakes his head at the frying pan. He doesn’t want to sound like one of the scientists that put her into this situation, into this cruel, cruel world.

A clearing of your throat breaks him out of the thought bubble, and he flips the last pancake out of the pan and onto a plate, much to Anastasia’s delight. The ensuing giggle is the closest thing he’s heard to laughter from the kid. That’s not good. Children need laughter. He makes himself, and Ana, a silent promise to be more uplifting.

“Do you think we could leave the Compound, today?” You ask, out of nowhere, as you place the assorted fruit on the table. Ana, whose hands is halfway to the strawberries, stops as she waits on Bucky’s answer. Clearly, this is something she wants, too. Who is he to deny them?

“Sure. Fury might want us to take some security measures, but we should be fine.”

-----

That’s how they wind up at an ice cream parlor by 10 am, after the security has been cleared with Fury and Sam, and the only addition to their little team is Lucky, a dog apparently shared by Clint and his protégé in the city, one Kate Bishop. They’ve been told that while not a trained security dog, Lucky has sensors that will let Kate know if they’re in danger, and she can provide and send further backup. The rest of the Avengers are busy with tracking down leads to Zola.

Bucky knows he can protect you and Ana just fine, should need be, and isn’t worried about the fact that the only bodyguard they’ve been provided with is canine. Ana has bonded with the dog and walks with one hand in the fur by its shoulder and the other in his own hand, her eyes flitting between the sights of the city and her companions. Her caretakers. Her guardians.

The ice cream place is a little business that another one of Steve’s children is working at on weekends. is a head shorter than Bucky, and terrifies the living wits out of him. She’s one hell of a people watcher, she has a sweet tooth and a thing for Jane Austen, and the world is lucky her foremost interest is in dessert making and not something far more nefarious, like say, espionage.

She greets Bucky at the door with a hug and shakes both your and Ana’s hands, and lets you all sit outside so you can be with Lucky. The rusty fall sun makes Lucky’s fur shine like spun gold and light Ana up in hues of ruby and topaz, and you turn your face to the light and sigh.

For a moment, the world is quiet. For a moment, the scent of sugar crystallizes on his face like the sensation of rightness does. And when it ends, it’s not with a crash landing. It’s a gentle reorientation. You open your eyes, look at him with immeasurable affection. Ana pets Lucky. Vivien says, “Let me know when you’re ready to order, Uncle Bucky,” and puts a menu on the table.

You decide on a mango ice cream shake, Bucky wants an Oreo sundae, and Ana, of course, demands the largest dish on the menu, the one whose picture is emblazoned across a good quarter of the laminated card. A massive ice cream and berry split.

When your order arrives, Anastasia laughs for the second time. Bucky thinks he should say something, make a joke, conversation, but in this moment, nothing else could feel so forced. He’s a man of few words and many services. That’s how he chooses to love, and Ana can see that. You can see that.

It's why you nod affirmingly when he meets your eyes over Ana’s mountain of ice cream. You carry entire sentences in your glances, words of silent confidence, the fuel he is feeding on right now.

-----

Ana is happy. The world, if for a few hours, is right. He knows it cannot last, even now, walking back to the car after a morning and afternoon of joy, arms laden down with bags of new things, treats he never had but can now provide. Despite the resignation that has started to weigh on him, he reminds himself: his daughter has a home. She will be safe, and he will take care of her, no matter what it takes.

-----

The car ride back is louder than he anticipated. You give the music a go, playing something by Raveena, a sweet voice he likes but that Ana talks over, making quite the chaotic symphony that he likes even more. Lucky contributes the occasional bright bark that makes Ana laugh, pausing her incessant chatter, if momentarily.

Mostly, she talks about what she saw, the things she has now started to process, asks questions about the stores she did not previously have the luxury to, presumably because her previous guardian didn’t have the means, and besides, they were on the run.

He’s grateful to her. Irene. Before he was confused but now it is obvious: Ana is his daughter, and he wants her as much as any other parent does their child, even if the way she was thrown into her life was unconventional, to say the least.

Looking at her in the rearview mirror as she twists in her seat to reach Lucky in the back, he knows he will move heaven and earth to remove the threats in her path. It makes him dangerous. It makes him a father.

“You okay?” You ask, following his gaze, and Bucky smiles, eyes returning to the road.

“Never better.”

Your hand finds his where it takes a break from the steering wheel to rest on his knee. He twists your joined hands until he can hold yours. Squeezes it, as if to say, thank you. As if to say, we’ll all be okay.

-----

Turns out, he’s wrong, and this is why you should never rely on routines. Promises are made to be broken. When they get back, the NYPD is waiting, and not to update them on the case. He sees the waiting handcuffs, and he knows you do, too.

You make the right move, trying to usher Ana out of the room with some excuse or other, but it’s too late. Her instincts have latched onto the fact that something is very, very wrong.

The DA says, “James Buchanan Barnes, you’re under arrest as a suspect in the murder of Irene Orlov,” and Ana screams, and screams, and screams.

Bucky tries not to close his eyes, knows it’s too late to put his hands over his ears as cuffs close around his wrists. Besides, he needs to show that he understands the charges, and yes, they’re reading him his Miranda rights, and yes, he understands.

He’s innocent. And his team will prove it. But it’s no use arguing with these people, so he goes silently, even as he hears Sam, Steve and Nat going at it with the police chief in the dull background of Ana’s roar. It’s no use. The police wouldn’t be here without reason, and they’ll let him go when his team finds them reason to.

Everything is going to be okay, he tells himself. It has to. Because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if it isn’t.

Bucky sees you, tear-sodden and holding onto a distraught Ana, in the reflection of the glass doors before they slide open.

#SSB2021 #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #marvel #mcu #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #avengers #avengers fanfiction

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longitudinalwaveme · 3 years

Text

Arkham Files: Dr. Alchemy/Dr. Albert Desmond/Mr. Element

Hugo Strange: From the patient files of Dr. Hugo Strange, director of Arkham Asylum. Patient: Dr. Albert Desmond, also known as Dr. Alchemy and Mr. Element. Patient suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder. Session One. So, Dr. Desmond, how are you feeling?

Dr. Alchemy: Go away. I’m reading.

Hugo Strange: Dr. Desmond, I promise that you will be able to return to your books as soon as this session is over. But for right now, I need you to talk to me.

Dr. Alchemy: I am not interested in conversation. Leave me alone.

Hugo Strange: I’m afraid I cannot do that, Dr. Desmond. As your psychologist, I have a responsibility to maintain your well-being.

Dr. Alchemy: I have read countless books on the subject of psychology, Dr. Strange. There is nothing you can teach me that I do not already know.

Hugo Strange: Dr. Desmond, this is not about knowledge. It is about helping you to live a more productive life.

Dr. Alchemy: Dr. Desmond would likely appreciate the sentiment, but he isn’t here right now. So please, leave me to my studies. I have important work to do, and no time for idle chatter.

Hugo Strange: I take it I am speaking to one of Dr. Desmond’s alters, then?

Dr. Alchemy: Yes. I am Doctor Alchemy. Now kindly go away and leave me alone.

Hugo Strange: I’m afraid that I cannot do that, Dr. Alchemy. As your psychologist, it would be irresponsible of me not to hold these therapy sessions with you.

Dr. Alchemy: You are not my psychologist; you are Dr. Desmond’s psychologist. Dr. Desmond is not here right now, so you have no responsibilities in this room. Go away.

Hugo Strange: Dr. Alchemy, you and Dr. Desmond share the same body, and are fragmented parts of the same basic personality. Medically and legally, both of you are my patients...as are any other alters that may exist.

Dr. Alchemy: Be that as it may, I have nothing to say to you. Go away.

Hugo Strange: (Sighs) If I arrange to have some more rare books delivered to your room, will you agree to participate in the session, Dr. Alchemy?

Dr. Alchemy: (Pleased) Yes. Thank you, Dr. Strange. (Pause) What do you want to know?

Hugo Strange: According to your files, you are a very educated man. You have PhDs in chemistry, biochemistry, and molecular biology. You could easily earn money legitimately...and, in fact, Dr. Desmond does just that in his career at S.T.A.R. Labs. Why, then, did you choose to become a costumed criminal?

Dr. Alchemy: Research is expensive, Dr. Strange. How else was I to fund my experiments?

Hugo Strange: Dr. Desmond usually asks for grant money.

Dr. Alchemy: Only because he wastes our talents on safe, predictable work. I, on the other hand, push the boundaries of established science. That frightens the complacent and the simple-minded, and as such, they dismiss my work as lunacy and refuse to help me in my endeavors to expand humanity’s understanding of the cosmos.

Hugo Strange: Even if that is true, Dr. Alchemy, your file indicates that you are a metahuman with the power to transmute the elements at will. Why not use that power to create gold or silver, sell it for a profit, and use that to fund your experiments?

Dr. Alchemy: And debase my powers by using them for something as mundane as earning petty cash from the mindless multitudes? Never.

Hugo Strange: But you’re perfectly willing to use those same powers to steal money from the same mindless multitude?

Dr. Alchemy: Of course. I am the lord of the very elements! It is my right to take whatever I desire.

Hugo Strange: You are stealing! Like a common thief!

Dr. Alchemy: A common thief could not turn your blood into formaldehyde, Dr. Strange.

Hugo Strange: Was that a threat, Dr. Alchemy?

Dr. Alchemy: No, not a threat. Merely a reminder of your position.

Hugo Strange: (Angry) Let me make one thing clear, Dr. Alchemy. When you were sent here, you were, effectively, declared a ward of the state. I am the head of this Asylum. I want to help you, but if you prove to be a threat to me, the other patients, or the staff, I will authorize that you be put on a regime of enough antipsychotic drugs to all but kill your conscious mind.

Dr. Alchemy: (Quiet laugh) And break your Hippocratic Oath by sentencing poor Dr. Desmond to a living death? I don’t believe you have that in you, Dr. Strange.

Hugo Strange: (Icily) To prevent one of the most powerful metahumans in the world from laying waste to this institution? There is very little I would not do, Dr. Alchemy. Metahuman power dampeners have a very limited effect on you, and I am not enough of a fool to rely solely on your goodwill to keep you in check.

Dr. Alchemy: (Quickly) In that case, I rescind my reminder.

Hugo Strange: I’m glad to hear that, Dr. Alchemy. (Pause) So tell me, what is your relationship with your city’s scarlet-clad vigilante?

Dr. Alchemy: The Flash? He’s an impediment to my research, nothing more.

Hugo Strange: And your decision to put on a costume was in no way inspired by him?

Dr. Alchemy: Perhaps on some level. But he means nothing to me. Dr. Desmond is the one who cares about him.

Hugo Strange: In that case, will you permit me to speak with Dr. Desmond?

Dr. Alchemy: Certainly not. That weak-willed fool would only interfere with my studies.

Dr. Hugo Strange: If you cooperate, I’ll see what I can do about getting you a first-edition copy of The Grapes of Wrath.

Dr. Alchemy: Very well. If I can find Dr. Desmond, I’ll let him know that he wishes to speak with you.

(Long pause)

Hugo Strange: Are you all right, Dr. Alchemy?

Albert: (in a voice that is similar to, but distinguishable from, Dr. Alchemy’s) W-where am I? What’s going on?

Hugo Strange: (Realizing) Is this Dr. Albert Desmond?

Albert: Y-yes. (Pause) Who are you? What is this place? What am I doing here?

Hugo Strange: I am Dr. Hugo Strange, director of Arkham Asylum. What is the last thing you remember, Dr. Desmond?

Albert: I...I was at home with my wife, Rita. She was making dinner, and I felt a headache coming on, so I went outside to get some fresh air and-(Pause) Oh, no. It happened again, didn’t it?

Hugo Strange: I’m afraid so, Dr. Desmond. A week ago, Dr. Alchemy was captured by the Flash whilst attempting to turn an entire stadium’s worth of people into tungsten. Since Iron Heights Penitentiary is currently incapable of holding metahuman criminals, it was decided that he should be transferred to Arkham Asylum, pending his trial.

Albert: Not again...not again! It’s been three years since the last time. I thought that the nightmare was finally over.

Hugo Strange: Dr. Desmond, the courts are aware of your… highly unusual...form of Dissociative Identity Disorder. You will almost certainly be declared not guilty by reason of insanity.

Albert: And then they’ll lock me away in a hospital instead of a prison. Rita and I...we have a baby son! Is he going to grow up with his father shut away in a mental institution? (Pause) I should have had her divorce me. At least that way she wouldn’t be raising our son all by herself. And she wouldn’t have to worry about both her and the baby being murdered by a costumed maniac!

Hugo Strange: Neither of your alters have ever actually murdered someone, Dr. Desmond.

Albert: No. But from what I’ve been told, it hasn’t been from lack of trying. (Pause) I let her marry me. I knew what I was, and I let her marry a monster.

Hugo Strange: You are not a monster, Dr. Desmond. Your family members, the police and judicial departments of Central City, and even your city’s costumed vigilante all swear as to your good moral character.

Albert: Good moral character? Dr. Strange, both of my alters are criminals; which means that there’s a part of me...there’s a part of me that wants to do the things they do. If there wasn’t, surely I would have been able to get rid of them by now. The fact that I haven’t proves that I don’t have good morals.

Hugo Strange: Dr. Desmond, do you ever remember the actions of your alters?

Albert: Almost never. (Pause) I usually end up finding out about it after the fact. You have no idea how horrible it is to have someone tell you that your body went on a crime spree that you don’t remember anything about.

Hugo Strange: In other words, you have dissociative amnesia during the periods in which your alters are dominant. (Pause) Do you make an effort to prevent your alters from emerging, Dr. Desmond?

Albert: Of course I do! I take medication, I exercise, I ensure that I always get a full night’s rest, I go to therapy….I don’t want to be a monster.

Hugo Strange: A monster wouldn’t battle his illness in the way that you do, Dr. Desmond. You are not a monster. You are ill, and through no fault of your own.

Albert: I...I wish I could believe that, Dr. Strange. (Pause) But honestly? I’m starting to think that maybe I should just be locked up forever. It would...it would be better for everyone.

(Long pause)

Hugo Strange: Dr. Desmond? Dr. Desmond, are you all right?

Mr. Element: (in a voice that is similar to, but distinguishable from, Dr. Alchemy and Albert’s voices) I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong man, Doc.

Hugo Strange: Who are you? And what happened to Dr. Desmond?

Mr. Element: Nothing. I just decided to take control. It seems that Doc Alchemy’s actions have caused him to almost give up hope completely this time, and that meant he couldn’t put up much of a fight against me. (Pause) Thanks for getting Doc Alchemy to give up control voluntarily, by the way. You have no idea how tough it is to win fights for control with that guy.

Hugo Strange: I take it you’re Mr. Desmond’s other alter?

Mr. Element: That’s right, Doc. You can call me Mr. Element.

Hugo Strange: Not Dr. Element?

Mr. Element: Nah. The other two got most of the brains, I’m afraid. It’s why I’m not as powerful as either one of ‘em. (Pause) Not that you’d know it from looking at Albert, of course. He’s got no idea how powerful he really is. He’s even more powerful than Doc Alchemy!

Hugo Strange: I suppose that that makes a certain amount of sense. Dr. Desmond is, after all, the personality from which the two of you split off. Perhaps that allows him to mainline the power, so to speak. (Pause) So, Mr. Element, why do you commit crimes in a silly costume?

Mr. Element: To get money and attention. Doc Alchemy could care less about that sort of thing, and Albert’s too much of a goody-good to admit that he wants either, so it’s up to me to make sure people remember us.

Hugo Strange: And the costume, was it inspired by the Flash?

Mr. Element: No. It was based on our fascination with elements. The mask was so that I could inhale pure oxygen; I used a carbon atom as my symbol because life has its basis in carbon-you get the idea. Albert’s the one who has an emotional connection to the Speedster.

Hugo Strange: Yes, yes. Dr. Alchemy said the same thing. (Pause) So, are either you or Dr. Alchemy Rogues, Mr. Element?

Mr. Element: No. Doc Alchemy and I both prefer to work solo. Besides, I think the Doc kind of freaks them out.

Hugo Strange: Are there any particular concerns you want to talk to me about, Mr. Element?

Mr. Element: Not really. Albert’s the one with the hang-ups.

Hugo Strange: In that case, I am going to bring this session to a close. I need some time to reflect on your case and how to best treat it. It is noticeably abnormal, and I will need to adjust my strategies accordingly.

#flash rogues #dr. hugo strange #mr. element #dr. alchemy #albert desmond #flash comics #batman comics #fanfic

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chayacat · 3 years

Text

Devil’s Sweet Star (42)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut

***

Ah... that expression of shock on your face, that lack of reaction... Or at least that frail voice that is yours. Danny couldn't have dreamed of a better reaction from you. We would think we were in a movie, where the girl discovers a terrible secret about her boyfriend. This is actually the case, with one exception: We are not in a movie. Danny watched you, his sneaky smile on his lips, like a cat watching the little mouse in his cage, the lion watching the gazelle, or the wolf devouring the poor little doe that will soon serve as his meal. He was slowly moving towards you, but you backed up against the wall, causing him to stop.

“Surprise, Honey. Happy to see me?” He said with a provocative smile.

“J-Jed? No... I don't believe it. It's a nightmare... or a prank! You can't...” you start to say.

“Can’t what? Being the one who since all this time harasses you every night making you doubt about your loyalty to your boyfriend? I can tell you my sweet little star, that all this is real. But... let's redo the presentations. Jed... never existed. My real name is Danny, Danny Johnson, to serve you.”

“You've been lying to me all this time... But why??”

“Think twice Sherlock. I am... quite wanted in other states. I wasn't going to swing my true identity, to a complete stranger I had just met. And then... there was a good chance... that you have heard of me. But luckily for me... that was not the case.”

“Your office...”

“Want to take a look? since the time you wish to enter it, now that you know the truth, I can show you. Follow me.”

Danny walked past you, while looking behind him to see if you were following him. He unlocked the door of his office and opened it so that you could finally enter it. He saw this expression of surprise on your face again, and this temporary absence of voice made him shudder. Everything went as he had imagined. It remains more than to know how all this would end.

“It's you who... who did all these murders... these innocent people... McKellan and... Hoggins.” You said finally.

“Nice deduction Sherlock. This is me. All those nights when I was inventing an excuse to go out... it was only for that. Spying, stalking... and kill.” Respond Danny leaning against the door.

“And also, to see me as Ghostface. You... you tried... you tried to rape me... and you pretended nothing had happened the next day.”

“And I apologize for that. But I had to... play my role. You would have suspected me too soon otherwise. I had to dissuade you from Jed. Let you accept me as I am. More confident, more... Enterprising then Jed." Replied Danny.

“From the beginning you lied to me. On everything. Your identity, your past, your work... I'm sure this story about this Carla is not real! You invented it or stole it from someone!” you said a little angry.

“Everything I told you about my past... is true. My parents were real assholes. Treating me like a dog. And as for my life with Carla... everything is true. Except one thing: When I learned that Dr. Pheels, the one who cared for her, had let her die, I went to see him one night. I entered through the window. He was in his office. I confronted him with his actions and he... he has denied everything. *You won't be able to prove anything Johnson. No one will believe you, you're wasting your time, Johnson. You'd better leave and find yourself another jug to fill your nights. And if she's sick... think of me. You can touch a small part. * At that time... I took out a knife that I had taken from home... and I slaughtered him like never before. My first murder, the one that made me who I am today. This is where Jed Olsen was born as well.”

“And I would still be there. You won't get rid of me as easily. I've told you before: I'm a part of you now.” said Jed in Danny’s mind.

“That night. You could have killed me. You could have made me yet another victim of your massacres. And yet you left me alive, you played with me, you... persuaded me to kill Hoggins. At least to let you kill him. Why? Why didn't you kill me that night?” you ask calmly.

It's true. He could have killed you that night. It would have made you just another victim and move on after hiding your corpse somewhere. He could have done it so many times... But he didn't. On the contrary, he lets you live, he spends time with you, shares his life and his past as you did with him. By curiosity? that's what he's always said to himself so far... but in the end isn't it for another reason? Isn't it more because he has found, or at least he thinks he has found something he thought was lost forever? And that he wanted to protect at all costs?

“Lying to her won't do much good here Danny. We both know that. Be honest with her. Like she was with you. And be honest with yourself. Believe me.” said Jed in Danny’s mind, leaning in front of him.

“I could have. At first, I confess that I did it out of curiosity, to see how far you could amuse me and I would have killed you as soon as you bore me. But... you were... so innocent. But just as fierce. Like Carla. She was like you, dreams full of heads, with punchlines when it was necessary. And a heart of gold, always ready to help people and do good around her. And the more time I spent with you, the more I felt like I was reliving my life before.” responds Danny sincerely to you.

“Good choice. It's a bit late, but better late than never.” replied Jed smiling.

“Now, that's the question everyone is asking. You know everything. What are you going to do?” Asks Danny to you.

Danny looked you straight in the eye, his smile having sag to make way for a more serious face. He had his knife in hand, ready to use it if you ever try to play the heroes or warn the police. He would like to not do that, but his secret has to come first. Even if it means killing you. He doesn't want to, but he won't have a choice. He no longer has a choice, and neither do you. You could have stopped before, avoided this relationship. It would have been easier for him. But here... it will be the first time for him that he will have to kill someone reluctantly. There is no turning back now. For both of you. This is where everything will play out.

Deep in his mind... Danny knows how it's going to end. There is no chance that you will accept all this. Even if you have shown flaws, he knows that you will denounce him, or try to stop him. If that really happens, so be it. But he can't help but hope. What a stupid spirit of humanity. And yet, what was not his surprise, when he saw you approaching him hugging him. For a few minutes, he waited for you to take out a knife or a weapon of some kind to attack him. But nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just... a normal hug. As if none of this had happened. Nothing had been said.

“Well... I... I didn't expect that. Unless this is a ruse on your part.” said Danny suspicious.

“What good would it be now that I try anything against you? You said it: if you fall, I will fall too. And... you may be an assassin... you've always been there when I needed... you listened to me, you protected me. You could have killed me a long time ago... and you didn't. And all those moments we spent together... I could never forget them. Never.” You respond without letting him go.

“Me neither.”

“I guess you've made it. You have succeeded in making me your accomplice. That's what you wanted. You wanted me to enter your world.”

“It won't be easy... but I would teach you to get ready for this new life. Lie... Keep one's mouth shut... Trick... As long as you are with me, nothing will happen to you.”

Danny gently took your face with his gloved hand before placing a quick kiss on your lips. But before he can back off, you kiss him passionately, hugging him a little more. He is not a doctor, or even a psychologist, but he could easily conclude that he caused you to have Stockholm syndrome. Or at least something close to it. However, he will have to be careful in the early days. He doesn't know if all this is real... or if you cheat. It's in Danny's mentality, he was betrayed too often in his youth, he will not let himself be fooled so easily.

“We're going to have to put ... two three little things to the point. First, outside of these walls, and when someone comes here, I'm Jed. no one should know my true identity. Not even Mattew and Melina.” starts Danny.

“It's horrible... to have to lie to them. They're friends, I'm sure they would understand.” you respond.

“They will especially warn the cops. At least after researching me. Journalistic curiosity, honey, can wreak a lot of havoc. Especially at the level of the closest people. Second, if the police come to ask you about Hoggins, you say you don't know anything. You tell them that the last time you saw him was when he threatened you in your café. Your employees will be able to confirm this.”

“Because I have to use them as an excuse now?” you replied.

“Everyone around you can serve as an alibi. I've done it often... very often during all these years.” responds Danny shrugging his shoulders.

“Anything else to know?”

“Even if you know about my office, I'd appreciate not seeing you inside. Everyone has their own business. Was I clear enough?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. So, how was your day?” Danny asks as if nothing had happened.

“As usual... I had two calls. For the succession, it is settled. And my aunt can't wait to meet you one of these days. But other than that, nothing very extraordinary. I'm exhausted.” you respond sighing.

“I know exactly what you need to... relax.”

Danny slowly lowered his hands until he reached your ass, putting a small slap. You jump slightly before looking at him, biting your lips slightly. A smirk comes to his face, provoking you just with the look. His piercing blue eyes, the secret of his charm. And it is in a fiery kiss that you both direct in the room, undressing each other before finding yourself on the bed, completely naked. The kiss continued, more sensual, and Danny finally entered you, making you moan with pleasure. He waited for you to relax before he began to move, and every move caused the two of you an insatiable pleasure.

No need to hide, no need to live under Jed's identity, no need to be Ghostface to satisfy his fantasies. Now that you know everything, now that you know who he is, he can finally be himself. He will continue to "play" Jed outside his walls because it is not necessary to arouse the suspicions of either office colleagues or the police. And even less of Wilhelm. This guy is a real leech.

Now with you he can finally be himself. You are the sweet little star of the devil. And no one will be able to approach you. In every sense of the word... the beast has been released. And nothing can stop it.

Not even himself.

***

(And it's done! This chapter was quite quick to write because since it is the continuation of the previous chapter, the ideas came to me quite quickly. Well, it's true that almost the entire chapter is mostly dialogue between Danny and the reader, but really, I didn't see how I could write it other than that. I don't forget the fic RE8 and the little teasing I talked about! By the way, if at the moment you do not know what to play, whether on Switch or PC, I recommend Road 96, a real surprise that I love! I hope you’ll like this chapter like the others ones! Well, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all! See ya!)

#dead by daylight #dbd #dbd fanfic #ghostface #danny johnson #jed olsen

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queenbrightwhitly · 3 years

Text

Trust You (Pt 4)

A/n: It was getting long so I’m finishing the rest of the episode in another chapter.

You hadn’t spoken to Malcolm the rest of the day. Along with the day after that, but this wasn’t completely your doing. There was a case that needed Malcolm more then anything. An evaluation done by a man who himself was lying, and Malcolm had to trick him.

Both Dani and JT had done their interviews with the suspect, and you had just finished.

Although both Dani and JT felt confident in their performances there was still the chance of a slip up happening.

“Hey.”

You looked up to see Gil staring at you from across his desk. He had been going though the case files almost all morning, he knew that this was a fragile case and that everyone being on their A-game was going to be important today, especially Malcolm.

“Sorry, I guess, I was just-”

“Thinking about Malcolm?” Gil asked, he looked at you already knowing.

You smiled. “That obvious?”

Gil nodded, putting down the case file he leaned back in his chair. “You know he’s going to be alright. Malcolm knows what he’s doing.”

“Thats what worries me.” You muttered.

Just then Malcolm swung open the door to Gils office. He looked straight at you, then back to Gil, then back to you. He obviously was confused as to why you were there. He had his tie in his hand and looked at you, he opened his mouth to say something but instantly closed it as if he second guessed himself. He then turned to Gil. “Can you help me with this?” Malcolm asked.

You rolled your eyes. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Gil. “Nope,” Gil stood up from his desk. “But she can.” Gil nodded in your direction, giving Malcolm a pat on the shoulder he took one last look at you and then walked out. You knew what Gil was doing, but you couldn’t decide if you liked it yet.

Malcolm had his head down, an annoyed smile gracing his face. He looked back at you. “Um, if you wouldn’t mind, could you- I mean you don’t-”

Getting up from the chair you stood in front of Malcolm, taking a hold of his tie you started to adjust it properly.

“Are you ready?” You broke the silence.

“Am I ready? I slept a full three and a half hours.” Malcolm smirked, when you didn’t respond he continued. “Okay, three, but it was quality. There was definitely some REM mixed in there.” His tone was playful, and you knew he was trying to lighten the mood, however this wasn’t calming your nerves.

“You’re used to being the smartest person in the room. Not today.” Your hand was slightly shaky from nerves. “Dr. Coppenrath is a police psychologist. Internal Affairs trusts him to make sense of minds like yours.”

You finished Malcolms tie. Just as you were about to pull your hands away he quickly took a hold of them. “Hey. Don’t worry, I got this.” Malcolm looked down at you smiling.

“Did you think the same thing with this?” You looked down at Malcolm referring to his hand.

Malcolm sighed, “Y/n, darling-”

“Don’t.” You took a step back. “I’m still trying to make sense of our discussion and the stunt you pulled the other day. Malcolm all I ask is to not underestimate him. The rest of us have already given our statements, so I guess its up to you now.”

Malcolm didn’t say anything else, he knew this wasn’t the time to discuss your conversation, or the risky stunt he pulled. He smiled sweetly and turned to walk away, you couldn’t help your hand but you reached out for his gripping it tightly.

Malcolm turned back surprised, but before he could say anything, you let go, walking past him out of Gils office.

(cut to Y/n interview)

“Agent, L/n, welcome. Please, take a seat.” Dr. Coppenrath motion to the chair across from him.

Taking a seat you watched as he wrote a few things down. Looking up at you he smiled. “So, I can only assume you know what this is about.”

You nodded. “It’s to discuss if Malcolm Bright is suitable to work with the department. Im aware.”

“Good, so, shall we start?” Nodding you leaned back in you chair, this was going to be a long day.

(Back to the storyline.)

“How lucky Malcolm is to be surrounded by this army of nurturing women.” Jessica, smiled sweetly at Dani. “Detective, would you please give my son and I a moment?” Dani nodded, giving Malcolm a quick glance before walking to the other side of the apartment.

“Mom, did you... make a new friend?” Malcolm looked back to the stranger in his room.

“LIsa is my little homecoming gift. She can run your baths, administer your meds and prepare your meals until you have sufficiently recovered.”

“Mom, I don’t need anyone-”

“You know Malcolm, I would almost believe you if I didn’t hear about a certain disagreement you had with my future daughter in law. Honestly, Malcolm what were you thinking?” Jessica took a hold of Malcolms cheek. “You look tired, don’t worry, she will take great care of you while you and Y/n take a break.”

“We are not on a break.” Malcolm cut in. “She just needs... space.”

Jessica rolled her eyes. “Oh please Malcolm, when a man thinks a women needs space it typically isn’t the case at all and is an excuse to keep you from actually confronting her and talking this out.” Jessica perked up. “Now, lets discuss Llsa.”

(cut to Y/n interview)

“So, Malcolm was put under watch? By his own mother?” Dr. Coppenrath set his coffee down. Question after question he doubled down mostly on Malcolm himself, but something still felt strange.

“Jessica loves her son, she just wants whats best for him, just like any mother would.” You watched him scribble in his book, this just felt like therapy at this point.

“What about you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you want whats best for Malcolm?” He asked.

You scoffed. “Of course I do, Malcolm hes... my friend. I want whats best for all my friends. Malcom included.”

He nodded, not saying anything else, just scribbling down.

This was going to be an even longer day...

(cut to storyline)

“The gang’s all back together.” Malcolm voiced from behind you and JT.

Gil turned around annoyed. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“You just can’t find good help, can you?” Dani cut in.

I looked at JT who was just looking amused. “Told you.” he whispered to me. I just rolled my eyes. “Should you be back at work?” JT asked.

“Bright! You’re back! Seven abdominal stitches and a fracture to your first metacarpal, and you still look great.” Edrisa sighed out happily.

You quietly chuckled so Gil wouldn’t hear. You always loved Edrisa crush and admiration of Malcolm, you would tease him for it all the time. You also couldn’t deny that you might encourage the behavior. Gil however, didn’t look amused.

Edrisa smile dropped slighty “I might have pulled his medical records. I was worried. But you’re here now.” She smiled again.

“I am... here. So...let’s go take a peek at this body?” Malcolm sorta asked Gil. He raised his hand in the direction, looking more annoyed by the minute.

Malcolm did a side glance your way as he walked ahead, which didn’t go unnoticed by JT who looked at you in question. Shrugging your shoulders you pretended to not know what he was talking about and walked along. The case was discussed and jokes were made by JT and Malcolms Gucci loafers. Once Malcolm made his brief profile you were going to follow everyone else back to the cars, however you noticed Malcolm wondering off past the crime scene.

Curious, you started to follow behind him. “Malcolm?” He didn’t answer, just kept on forward. “Malcolm, are you okay? Whats wrong?” He still didn’t pick up on your voice.

You stopped next to him, trying to figure out what he was looking at. When you didn’t notice anything you looked back to him, his eyes were wide and staring off to space. You knew that look. It happen often, especially when Malcolm just came from seeing his father.

“Hey.” You took hold of Malcolms shoulder gently.

He jumped, but only slightly. Looking at you like he just realized you were standing there. “Sorry, I got distracted. We should head back.” Before you could say anything Malcolm had already started to make his way to the cars.

(cut to Y/n interview)

“Were you aware that Malcolm had started his own investigation?”

You scoffed. “No, I wasn’t. I was told he went home to rest.”

“And you believed that?” Dr. Coppenrath asked.

“No, of course not. I mean he can’t go home, he can’t follow orders, he barley gets enough sleep.” You leaned back in your chair, trying to seem as nonchalant as you could. “I had a feeling he was doing something under Gils nose.”

“Does this happen a lot? Him doing his own investigations without telling anyone.”

“More often then not.”

“I see.” He moved his hand to his coffee mug taking a sip. “Have you ever helped Malcolm?”

“I mean...Malcolms asked for my help on a few personal matters before but-”

“So you have helped him, without a second thought?”

You rubbed your hands together, the sweat was building up and the nerves kicked in. It didn’t seem like he was questioning Malcolm now. “I mean, Malcolm is my friend-”

“Yes, your friend. Tell me, have you ever thought of Malcolm as more then that?”

You looked confused now. “What does this have to do with Malcolms mental state of working here?”

“I’m just putting some pieces together, maybe Malcolm wouldn’t have such an urge to want to stay here so bad if he didn’t have a reason, perhaps that reason is a who?” He said it as a question, but it didn’t feel like he needed an answer.

“I don’t think- I’m not the reason Malcolm likes working on cases.” You crossed your arms. The Doctor started writing again, he didn’t say anything after that.

(cut to storyline)

You got back to the station, hearing from Dani over the phone that Malcolm had decided to enroll himself in the clinic. Not only that but he took a session of theirs, along with almost getting killed while someone named Andi got kiddnapped.

Walking inside you spotted Dani sitting at her desk, walking up to her you leaned against it and looked around the office. Noticing that Malcolm and Gil were in behind closed doors in his office.

“How long have they been in there?”

Dani looked up and over to where you were staring. “A few minutes.”

“Gil looks upset.” You stated.

It wasn’t until Quentin Vosler walked in that you took your eyes off them. Dani noticed him too, so you both walked up to him, JT right on your heels. All of a sudden Malcolm came busting out of Gils office, instantly going towards Vosler. JT was quick to react to hold him back, but he was very insistent.

“Tell me what you did with Andi!” Malcolm yelled, struggling against JT grip.

“Mr. Bright.” Vosler looked surprised.

“Where is Andi!?!” Malcolm continued.

“I don’t know. Thats why I’m here. She was taken, by them.”

#malcolm bright #malcolm prodigal son #malcolm whitly #malcolm bright x reader #malcolm whitly x reader #prodigal son #prodigal son imagine #prodigal son show #prodigal son fic #tom payne #tom payne x reader #x reader #fanfic

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dumpsiteforfics · 3 years

Text

Yearning - Excerpts From a lonely heart : [ Chapter 4]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid

Rating: Mature

Genre: Angst and fluff

Summary: In a world where Omegas are rare and treasured, Spencer starts to have feelings for his married boss and pack Alpha, Aaron Hotchner! This is a story of Spencer Reid and Aaron Hotchner who are true mates, but probably met eachother at wrong time. Join me on a journey to find out whether the pining ever ends (it does, I know)

Trigger warnings: mentions of death, suicide, A/B/O, Drugs, Kidnapping, spoilers to criminal minds season 1 to season 6. Also, will include mpreg, at the end.

This is my a/b/o universe for Heid. As the name suggests, lots of yearning and angst followed by a fluff and smut eventually. First chapter might be slower but things will pick up soon. I don’t want to make the story longer, but we will see!!

Also, please check trigger warnings and also let me know if you would like me to add more warnings!

English is my third language so expect grammatical mistakes and typos, I don’t have a beta sorry. Also I hope you will give it some love!! I’m looking forward to the feedback.

AO3 links : Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

More about this au: Click here

Chapter summary: Reid struggles with his feelings and Gideon decides to not address some issues which should've been addressed. On the other hand, Haley makes an appearance as Hotch goes back home to his family.

After they took Reid to hospital, everyone except Gideon was allowed inside the ward. The ward was on lockdown as that was the process for admitting any Omega and since Reid's Alpha wasn't known yet, Gideon was the only one allowed as he was the medical proxy. Hotch hadn't liked being kept out of the loop but he knew it was a law and the rules were in place for protection of Omega, so kept quiet and waited for Gideon to come back with an update.

When Gideon came back with information, he explained how the injuries aren't going to leave any lasting effect but he was certainly beaten up alot causing terrible physical as well as mental damage. He said Reid was going to be kept under observation for at least two days to ensure he is healing up without any issues and doctor's have recommended sessions with a psychologist to ensure his mental health.

Hotch really wanted to meet Reid, to confirm once again that he was indeed alive and well, but he controlled his instincts. Reid needed space, after the emotional rollercoaster he had been through the past two days, he needed to be away from his conflicting emotions and his overbearing protective urges. Hotch trusted Gideon to take the right decision for Reid's health and as he anyways won't be allowed inside to see Reid today, he decided to just finish up all the chaos that he has to clear up due to the turnout of this case. He gathered the team, telling Gideon once again to reach out if anything is wrong or if Reid needs anything and then they all left for the police station, wanting to close up everything about the case so they can take Reid home as soon as he is discharged.

***†***

Reid felt it was a blessing in disguise that Gideon wasn't an alpha. That's probably the reason his bag was still in Gideon's car and he wasn't questioned throughout the ride about the smell of drugs. Before getting out of the car, Spencer had used his sleigh of hand to slip those vials into the little scent-blocking pouch he carried which held all the scents he wanted for any emergency purpose inside. The pouch and some small scent-blocking bags were a blessing for omegas who wanted to keep the scents that made them comfortable with them without overwhelming others. His pouch held his mother's handkerchief, Ethan's earring and one little bottle of scandle wood scent. And now those vials made their way inside. He knew it was horrible, it was pathetic and it was disgusting, but he was desperate to make sure no one gets their hands on it, he would probably throw them out later, but right now he just needed to know they were there!!

He knew doctors told Gideon about him having traces of dilaudid in his blood and he was waiting for the confrontation. He was waiting for Gideon to storm in and ask him about why he had those vials with him. But when Gideon did come in, his eyes were empty of any emotions. Reid was unable to even gauge how he was feeling because his instincts have been overused and tired. He just listened as Gideon told him that doctors wanted to keep him under observation to make sure he doesn't go through the withdrawal alone without any medical supervision. Reid felt his eyes welling up with tears and he wanted to admit everything to Gideon but Gideon just wiped those tears for him and said, " I know it's difficult, I know you are conflicted by something, but nothing is accidental. You'll get through it, we all do!"

And Reid felt pathetic. How can Gideon be so empathetic when it came to other victims but now he was saying things that didn't make sense? Was this supposed to make him feel better? Because all he was feeling after listening to it was that he was weak for letting his trauma get him to make bad decisions. He felt Gideon was just trying to brush off his responsibilities and wanted Reid to decide everything on his own. And he didn't like it at all. He wanted guidance, he wanted support, he wanted acknowledgement of his suffering, he wanted understanding but he now knew how pathetic he was for even wishing that. He was all alone through it after all!!

He spent the next two days in hospital waiting to go home. The team had come to visit him after closing the case, and he was expecting them to ask him about his trauma, he wanted them to try to understand what he was going through, but he could see how haunted they still looked after everything that had happened. He could sense the dread of those memories in their minds. So he decided he wouldn't ask anyone for anything more. It was his journey, and he will walk alone. He had troubled them enough anyways.

All through this he had observed how their pack Alpha was too quiet. He was always somewhere close to Reid, never letting him be physically alone, but he never talked. His dark eyes were just observing him, trying to find out what was wrong, but Reid didn't want to think about it anymore. Before this case, he would've enjoyed being the focus of that dark gaze, but now he just felt judged, analysed and he doubled up his efforts in making sure to close off his every instinct so Hotch wouldn't realise what was wrong. He needed to let go of those pathetic feelings he felt for Hotch!

***†***

The night they come back home, Aaron waits long enough to strip off his weapons and take a quick bath before pulling Haley close in his lap and burying his face in her neck. He tightened his arms around her, finally letting the control over his feelings slip. Haley's fingers slowly caressed the back of his neck before moving up in his hair, scratching his scalp the way she knew always made him feel better. He relaxed slowly in her comforting embrace. She was his safe haven, she was always there, waiting for him and giving out comfort without asking questions. He knew as a unit chief his workload had increased and there were times when that made her lash out, but it was because she was all alone to take care of their newborn while he was out saving the world. She deserved better, she deserved a partner that gave her time, that made sure to pamper her, that supported her and Aaron couldn't be that. But no matter how much they fought, she somehow knew when he needed comfort and would never fight when such a moment came, just like tonight.

She slowly made them lay down on bed, Jack already asleep in his room. She laid down and instead of snuggling into Aaron's body, she pulled him close so he could be in her arms instead. He laid his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeats, as a beta she didn't have a distinct smell but her cherry perfume always made him feel like he was home. And as they laid there, tangled together, she slowly asked him what had happened.

He didn't want to say anything, mostly because he always avoided sharing the gory details with her, she didn't need to know what shitty situations he had to go through every day. But this time, it was too close, this time his agent was kidnapped and beaten and taken away from the pack. And so he decides to let it all out. Haley just quietly listens as he pours out his feelings, as he recounted everything he felt from the moment he realised Reid was kidnapped. He told her how scared he was to lose the agent that had unknowingly become his friend, someone he relied upon to break through any case, someone who made their team complete, someone who had become so much more than just Elle's replacement in such a short time.

Once Aaron was done purging his feelings, Haley simply asked about how Reid was doing now. She asked if she needed to visit him as the team would get back to work while he would be on forced vacation. And Aaron felt so grateful once again for her support. He told her he will check with Reid and tell her if it's needed, maybe having Jack around will help him a bit. He knew that Reid adored the few glimpses of Jack he could get whenever Haley visited the beauro.

He kissed her lips, trying to show her how much better she always made him feel. She was his everything, from the moment he laid eyes on her, she was the only one who regarded him with nothing but love, even in the moments she should hate him. Aaron never had a great childhood, the constant abuse has made him bitter, angry and then Haley came into his life. She was the reason he didn't turn out to be like his dad. She reminded him that he can be loved, he deserves kindness and although during the initial stages of their friendship he lashed out on her too many times to count, but slowly her kindness and her love won him over. She gave him a reason to look forward to the coming day, she made him feel loved and she taught him how to love her in turn. And now after all these years, she was still here, loving him despite his flaws and shortcomings. He couldn't help but to think if Reid had anyone by his side now, or was he alone. He hoped that he would have someone, he deserved it. He knew he still needed to analyse the flicker of something that he had felt back then when he held Reid in his arms, but right now all he wanted was to be vulnerable in the arms of the only person he had ever loved.

***†***

Taglist: @ssa-sarahsunshine @brillianthijinx @thaddeusly Please let me know if you'd like to be added/removed from this! ❤️❤️

I already had this chapter written and as I had taken a day off I thought of uploading it! Next chapters will take some time! ❤️❤️

#heid #hotchreid #hotch×reid #tw: a/b/o #tw: kidnapping #tw: mention of death #tw: mentions of violence #tw: drugs #tw: mention of abuse #ray's fics

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valkyrieofsmut · 3 years

Note

The boys and mc high school/college au go!

Ooooh, college au! It took forever for for me to get this all typed out and decided. Ok… so…

Classic- Classic is the one chilling around in the study/ tutoring circle, kicked back, seeming like he’s asleep and somehow not falling or tipping from the chair that’s only on two legs, getting credit for being there, but not participating... That is, until someone says something so incredibly stupid with such confidence, insisting that they’re right, and anyone who thinks differently is stupid, that he can’t help but cut in, laughing loudly and looking up. “ya really think that’s how it works? you’re gonna make these poor kids fail their tests if they believe ya!” He then proceeds to school them, the other people taking notes so they can pass their classes- no one’s ever been able to explain quantum physics so understandably before!! How he met MC? He met them when he started going to the study/ tutoring circle because it was an easy credit- a credit that he’s already earned by now, and can’t duplicate. One day he’ll be able to play it cool enough without his soul trying to beat out of his ribcage to ask if they want some one on one tutoring, since they’re there for the help, not the credit.

Creampuff- He is the sweetest boy around! Somehow, even on a campus this big, everyone knows who he is. He doesn’t stay inside the normal clique circles, either, being friends with everyone! “FRIEND GROUPS SHOULD INCLUDE EVERYONE YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH, AND I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE!” He’s Homecoming and Prom King, and takes any duties he has from the roles very seriously, fulfilling them all with the utmost passion. There isn’t a single person around that could hate him, and the teachers all love him as well. His grade point average is about an A- to B+ range. He’s not a genius, but he works hard and never shies away from extra credit and working hard to make it. He doesn’t seem to sleep? He is always doing something, working on some project for some class of club that he’s in, or spending time doing activities with friends... How he met MC? They were working on a project for a club that they were both in, and built a good friendship on their time spent together and the interactions they had there. They have lunch together in the cafeteria most days.

Red- He sits in the back of class, looking like the bad boy that no one wants to approach, but that also the one that people swoon over, giving out winks and smirks, flirting indiscriminately. He never does any work in class, and seems to never really care about it, but somehow- always gets amazing grades on tests...? And his grades in class aren’t anything to sneeze at, either, despite homework counting as a part of the grade...? The teachers like him because he really gets their subjects, and does really well, but he tries not to let anyone know, because, y’know... that bad boy image would be ruined... How he met MC? They had a class together, but MC was having trouble. Red sent every bit of flirting their way, but MC was having none of it. Finally, Red offered to help them with the homework, but MC told him they didn’t need to fail because Red wanted to flirt. “ah, sweetheart, y’re makin’ me feel bad- ya think i’d ever offer ta help if i didn’t know th’ answer? i don’t ever offer ta help anyone- y’re a special case. *wink*” He then taught them how to do the problem, telling them to pull up the answer online and check it while he kicked back. After finding out that MC liked the nerdier, actual “him”, side of him, he made it a habit to show it to them often, sitting next to them and explaining things through class, starting to ignore the rest of the people who usually flirted with him, liking the acceptance that MC gave him and how nice it felt to actually be himself.

Edge- Who knew that you still need gym credits in college?! Edge did, that’s for damn sure. He loves it because it helps him find a better way to deal with his frustration and anger. He also loves to untangle to puzzles that seem impossible. He’s seemingly on track to become a psychologist, a criminal detective, a lawyer, and an agent at some governmental agency that only has letters on their building... He tried to get into the medical field, but he can’t handle the disgusting nature of that science. He can handle things like gunshots, stab wounds, even road rash and compound fractures- but as soon as the body is cut open and he can see inside of it, he’s fighting not to faint. “IT’S NOT THAT I HAVE A WEAK STOMACH! IT’S ALL THAT- VISCERA! THERE’S SO MUCH OF IT AND SUCH WEIRD, UNNATURAL SEEMING COLORS! SHUT UP!” How he met MC? P.E. He has become known as one of the gods of P.E., and is often mistaken as a teacher. They were doing track and field activities, and MC was staring at him. When Edge demanded what they wanted and why they were staring at him, and MC answered by getting flustered and asking if he could show them how to do it that way, since he was so good at it, at it was amazing to see him do it! He gets all flushed and agrees, feeling flattered that they recognized his greatness.

Blue- He is on the Cheer squad, leader of the Pep squad, and leader of the track and field team! He is super athletic, and is very friendly with everyone! He ends the day with little energy from how much he does- people think that cheer and pep are just dancing around, but it’s hard work! There’s lots of flexibility training, and strength training, otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to do all the gymnastic type moves and lifting of whole other people they do! And then he has homework after all of that, and hanging out with his friends... But, luckily, he’s really smart- on most things. For everything else, there’s his brother, who he pesters to do homework with him as a way of learning, and getting him to do his own homework. How he met MC? During a pep rally, they did something with audience participation, Blue was picking the person that he’d be partnered with, and grabbed MC when he saw them. He was instantly enamored and at the end, he asked them for their number. He sits with them and Creampuff at lunch every day he doesn’t have to go to a practice at lunch time.

Stretch- He’s the guy chilling in the library, kicked up and napping behind the desk or reading, and the bookstore, kicked back behind the counter and napping or reading, and the student café, never with any food from the café, but either kicked back and napping or drinking honey. He’s never really seen in any classes except the one he PAs (professor’s assistant) for, and no one can really tell if he’s actually a student...? Except that he’s a PA, so... that means he has to be... right...? He comes into the class, points at the board and tells everyone to write it down, then turns on a prerecorded lecture or an educational video on the subject and chills at the professor’s desk, napping, drinking honey, or reading. How he met MC? MC went to pick up their books for their classes at the bookstore. He wasn’t even paying attention, reading some book, or something. When they brought up the book list, he didn’t even look at it, just told them what section was where. When they brought up their huge stack of books, he started ringing them up, but refused to sell them some of them without even looking at them. “ya don’t need that book. or that one. ya can get that one in the library. this one is garbage. yeah, i know the list has it on there, but ya don’t need it. ... what’s your major? yeah, ya don’t need that one...” MC left with about a fourth of the book list, and then, when they were able to go to the library to get the ones he’d said were there- he was there, too! MC was concerned that he was following them, but, he did work there, apparently... Halfway through the first semester, MC realized that Stretch saved them a bunch of money, and steered them right on all the unused books that had been added to the list.

Black- He’s the head of the ROTC (reserve officers training class). He wears his uniform every day, and, somehow, it’s always perfectly cleaned and pressed. He’s top of the sharp shooting team. Other students think that he’s a hard ass, or a recruitment officer... the few people he spends time with know how clever he is. He gets annoyed that the only people who get his sense of humor are his brother and some of the teachers. “YOU SEE, IT’S A JOKE ABOUT SCENT, BECAUSE MINT IS A SCENT, BUT ALSO, THE CHEMICAL COMPOUND FOR MINT IS THE MIRROR IMAGE OF THE CHEMICAL COMPOUND FOR DECAY, SO... FINE! YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY HUMOR, ANYWAY!” How he met MC? Black was ‘policing’ a party (making sure nothing got out of hand, no minors drank, as other students would say; no fun was had). MC was dragged there by a friend. They were doing their best to have fun, saw that everyone was avoiding Black, and walked up to where it looked like he was telling off a couple of people, but when they got closer they realized that he was telling a joke... if you could call that a joke...? Everyone listening just made confused face, MC, too, and when he started trying to explain the joke, everyone else just left. Black assumed that they’d be there to make fun of him, too, but when they asked him to repeat the explanation, and then the joke, even though they had to make sure what the punchline was supposed to be, they laughed. He looked stunned, but he fell in love when MC brushed off everyone else, telling him that they just weren’t smart enough to understand his joke, and too lazy to put in the work to understand it.

Mutt- He’s the one who everyone mistakes for goth. He’s not goth, he wears brown and orange, too, for stars sake... But apparently, wearing dark colors, regardless of the colors, along with having a lot of bone stuff, again, regardless of it being him, a skeleton, wearing a collar, and being a loner, who sits in the back and doesn’t appear to care about school or anything else, has put the label on him. He likes to not be surrounded by people, but... goth kids seem to flock to him...? He has no idea why... But, if he’s constantly getting lucky because some goths want to worship the symbol of death- he isn’t complaining. How he met MC? He’s one of their classes- not that they know. They’re too focused on actually learning and passing class, he’s in the back, snoozing and checking them out. They met him, because they were hanging out with Black. When he explained that they had a class together, MC was a bit confused, but after a minute, realized that they had seen his name on the roster. After that, Mutt sits next to them every day in class, flustering them beyond compare, and a bit confused why they haven’t decided to or accepted his offer to, jump his bones- nyeh heh. “bet i could get away with makin’ ya come in class. nyeh heh heh, aww, that look’s so cute on your face. so, what d’ya say? ready for me ta climb under the desk? naw, no one will find out. how d’i know? done it b’fore. never been caught, yet. nyeh heh heh.”

Axe- He’s the guy that was headed for greatness, somehow going to be top of his class and going to the highest ranking finishing college, for two separate fields- and then he had a burn out, and can’t be bothered to do much of anything. He almost seems like he doesn’t care about anything, anymore, including about if he ever graduates. His amazing double degree is long gone, and now his main hope of graduating is general studies. He works as a student janitor, and is usually hanging around in the halls, doing... something? He mostly sleeps through classes, and is a bit snappy to people who ask him questions, but those who he will actually spend time with know that he’s not so bad, under all the disillusionment. How he met MC? He mopped the floor, and had put a caution sign, not in the middle of the floor, but off to the side. MC was hurrying past and slid across the floor, and straight onto their ass with a yelp of pain. “heh. don’t ya watch where you’re going’? get inta too much of a rush, you’ll be dead before ya know it. heh heh.” When MC pulled themself up and brushed themself off, not even caring that he was chuckling at them, then joked about making an ass of themself, and not being sore about being the butt of the joke, he decided that they may deserve... more than the biting rudeness that he’d given at first, and will often see them walking around, always sparing a bit of conversation for them as he ‘just happens’ to be headed the same way.

Bun- He is in the Culinary classes and clubs, and in the gardening classes and clubs. He wants to be able to make his food from garden to table! He started a preserving club, and is the head of it, Axe is in it, too, but it has only a couple other members. He also took a place in the sewing arts club, and has made quilts and clothes that have won awards in the state and county fairs. He is surrounded by people in his clubs and classes who adore him. He was shy about his towering stature, thick glasses, and braces when he first came to the school, but the way his clubmates flocked to him when they got to know him made him realize that there’s nothing to be nervous about. How he met MC? He was out gardening, with the gardening club, when one of MC’s folders had fallen from their hands onto the ground, thus sending papers flying in the breeze. One flew right to him and hit him in the face. He pulled it down to see MC running up to him, begging him to hold it. He did, standing when they arrived, watching the look on their face get more and more surprised the more he stood. “Here’s Your Paper. I Didn’t Mean To Scare You Or Anything... Oh- I- I Didn’t? A- A Hug- Just Because I’m Taller Than You...? O-OK!”

Dusty- He’s the one that is always called to the dean’s office when anything happens. He’s usually in the counseling office or dean’s office, but he is just as often in the computer lab or hidden in the library. It’s not that he has any reason to be in those places, but he likes to be away from people, and those are the places that people come the least. He was doing amazingly well in his major, but then tragedy struck and his brother died... He blames himself, and can’t get past his guilt. His teachers and counselor want him to get help, but he stubbornly refuses, insisting that he’s ok. He doesn’t even like spending a lot of time with his “cousins”, since a few of them remind him too much of his brother. How he met MC? He was sitting in the back of the library, just so happening to be in front of a book MC needed to get. The fact that MC sat down next to him, not just leaving and avoiding him, while even his own cousins would do that, made him more defensive. But, the way that they just sat there, filling the silence, talking about everything and nothing, refusing to leave him there alone, forced him to think that maybe- maybe there was still some good out there...

MC- MC is a normal student, who ran across all of the skeleton boys. They were good in some things, not so much in others, but their good nature and friendliness drew the skeletons to them- as well as the soul compatibility. Their ability to distance themself from others’ actions and take some teasing and jokes at their expense in stride really made some of the more difficult skeletons take notice. With the boys- They were glad when Classic finally managed to ask if they wanted private tutoring- they did, they needed more help than the adhd scatter of the study group. They love seeing Creampuff every day that he comes to lunch, because he’s such a ray of sunshine! When MC finally realizes that Red has stopped flirting with anyone but them, they actually say yes to going on a date with him, and have a great time. They are so glad to have Edge in their gym class, and hope that they stay in the same gym class all through college; it’s amazing to watch him exorcise, like a statue of the perfect Olympian come to life. They had no idea that Blue was interested in them when they met, and text him every day, though they do have more of an understanding on their interest in each other. MC was very irritated with Stretch in the beginning, but after the experience with books that first semester, they always go to him when a new book list comes out to make sure that they have only the books that they need and none of the extra bullshit. Despite Black having to explain most of his jokes, MC likes hanging out with him, and feels like it makes them smarter while they’re doing it, since he’s always explaining stuff! Mutt is a crazy thing they’ve got to live through at first, but then, when he relaxes back and chills out a bit, is fun to learn how to flirt with, and he’s only too glad to teach them. Axe really appeals to MC’s dark humor side, and they love trading jokes with him on the way to classes. They hope he manages to regain determination soon, and get his plans back together. MC thinks that Bun is the sweetest person around, anywhere! And loves spending time with him whenever they can. When MC found Dusty, they were concerned that if they left him there, he was going to commit suicide, so they just- didn’t leave. If staying there and showing interest, or even just making it so that the quiet didn’t fill his skull with the troubled thought that would lead him that way, it was easy to do.

Ask Masterlist?

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just-char · 4 years

Photo

In which this is a Steampunk AU, Meryl is a medic/detective, Percy is her robot partner, Ramsey is a wanted con-man, and Molly is an over-worked mechanic. Extreme detail under cut; you have been warned.

It is the 1800′s-But-With-Advanced-Technology and anyone with the brains to build one or the money to buy one has a robot to do their bidding. While some A.I.s become more than humans’ servants, it’s not easy to garner respect from the people that built them, and they are treated as second-class citizens in fear they will revolt. The government intentionally releases incorrect statistics and funds propaganda to fearmonger citizens into believing a robot-rising could happen any day. In this universe, you have: Meryl Lockhart: A young medic working as a detective in Sweet Jazz city. She has an anxiety disorder and frequently experiences anxiety attacks at work. Because of this, she is often underestimated and treated with a lack of respect, something that greatly bothers her. As far as androids go, although she is terrified of them, she does try to treat them as well as she can. However, she is terrified that if she works with Percy and says/does the wrong thing, she will malfunction and possibly hurt her. Percival King: An android made originally for detective work specifically, Percy has carved her way in her work as an independent worker that doesn’t need an owner and is the only android working in the police station. Despite this, she is not given her due respect by other officers (Who often refer to her as ‘Detective Defective’ as she does not always work as intended) and is rarely treated equally by her peers, who are mostly jealous she is so good at her job and afraid they will be replaced. Recently, she has been upgraded by Sylvester Ashling to have an ‘Anxiety Assistance’ feature specifically for Meryl.

Ramsey Murdoch: A sneaky rat man and salesmen, Ramsey Murdoch is an ‘augmentation’, a human who has been given mechanical parts in order to help him live an easier life. Unfortunately, the easy life these days is in crime, and his main occupation is swindling unsuspecting shoppers in the market with his fake jewellery. He claims to have knowledge on the whereabout of Zora Salazar, a known augmented terrorist who wants to free androids completely of human control.

Molly Blyndeff: An overworked child mechanic. Molly works in her father’s shop (though he is never around) fixing robots and androids, as well as building and tinkering with her own creations. Unfortunately, her ears were hurt terribly in an accident when she was younger, and she is not old enough to be augmented to fix it. For this reason, anyone who enters the store must respectfully remain as quiet as possible. She is a strict Robot Rights Activist, and believes androids should be able to choose what they will be. She has a special place in her heart for Percy, who is her second favourite robot.

Giovanni Potage: Originally created to cook and serve soups in a fancy, over-priced restaurant, android Giovanni quickly gained sentience and defied his creators. Now, he hides out in Molly’s store, begging her for ‘cool’ upgrades to his robot form and frequently leaves to protest for rights by inconveniencing humans. For the most part, he is harmless, though he has been in trouble with the law. He believes Percy is foolish for working for the government when they actively oppose android rights. He is Molly’s first favourite robot.

Zora Salazar: An augmentation who has experienced the unfairness of the law first hand, Zora Salazar uses her constantly improving mechanical parts to violently protest the treatment of androids and augmentations. However, she is not opposed to hurting and killing those she believes stand in her way or work against her, and her methods are barbaric. While at one time her point may have been good, her anger has clouded her judgment, and she is fighting for no one but herself.

Sylvester Ashling: A psychologist who dabbles in mechanics, Sylvester Ashling usually spends his time researching the effects of growing dependence on robots in the society on the psyche of others as well as how sentient androids think and feel.

Mera Salamin: Rich engineer who wants to fully augment herself in order to cope with her crippling illness. Does not really care about the state of the population or the Android v. Human mess, just wants to not be in pain.

Indus Tarbella: An Android built by Mera to protect and defend. Likes humans and androids and just wants everyone to get along! :]

Basic Plot

Meryl is partnered with ‘Detective Defective’ Percival King for her anxiety. After being put on the case to find a con-man, the two of them head to the town square and split up. While Meryl deals with ‘Big Crowd Panic’, Percy runs into the very friendly Ramsey Murdoch, who introduces himself as ‘Larry Biggs’ and attempts to sell her fake gold. When she reveals she is looking for a con-man, he offers to help. ‘What a lovely salesman,’ thinks Percy, whose facial recognition processors do not work. After apparently neither of them have found anything, Percy drags Ramsey to meet her partner. Ramsey, realising he has doomed himself, is immediately apprehended by Meryl. However, he insists he has information about a Anti-Android Terrorist, Zora Salazar, that will be much more valuable to them than his arrest. While Percy is initially hesitant, Meryl, who wishes to prove herself to the other Officers, convinces Percy it will be beneficial for her mental health and the two of them embark, alongside the Rat Man, on a steam punk adventure, during which Meryl overcomes her fear of robots and learns there is more to them than meets the eye, and Percy learns that sometimes laws are unfair and she is more than what she is made for. There is, somehow, even more to it than that, but I will save you from spending years reading this. Thank you if you did get to the end of this post, you must be insane. If you any questions about this AU, please feel free to ask them. :]

#meryl lockhart #percival king #ramsey murdoch #molly blyndeff #epithet erased #Char Rambles #my art

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momoliee · 3 years

Text

Ch 43 and why I think xqc was both right and wrong for…what he said in those videos.

On why I think what he did can be justified :

Here we have to consider xqc’s background. Xqc’s parents were brutally murdered because of their line of work. As police officers, they were investigating a dangerous case and because of this case that they were investigating, they ended up being killed in a horrendous way. When they died, they left behind a 13 year old son and a 5 year old daughter, who neither had money nor relatives to take care of them. Their two kids had to suffer and go through a lot because their parents chose to not put into consideration the danger they were putting themselves in when they picked up the case. This, of course, traumatized xqc. He suddenly had to care for his sister, care for himself, make money to put food on the table, etc etc (I’ve already written a meta on this). It also gave him nightmares, seeing his beloved parents’ bodies crushed that way and all, and I dare say, Xqc might have suffered from a case of ptsd because of the incident.

So when he saw the video of Qin Ciyan being murdered, murdered because of his career and work, all his triggers were set off at once. Qin Ciyan, sacrificing everything for his line of work, Qin Ciyan leaving behind a daughter and a wife, Qin Ciyan being murdered in a very gore-y sort of way. It set off all his alarms, probably causing an immense shock that resulted in him taking a violent step backwards. He suddenly thought, the guy who killed Qin Ciyan was a mentally ill patient, and I deal with mentally ill patients all the time. What if I die like that too? Is this career worth it? Where would Xie Xue and my wife go if I’m gone? What will happen to them? Isn’t that exactly what happened to my parents? Aren’t I, too, putting myself in danger for my career even tho I have people who are dependent and reliant on me?

And so xqc treated that patient in the hospital the way he did. And he resigned the way he did. And he said all the words that he did. And he decided to cut off he yu the way he did. It was all…a trauma response. Trauma that he never properly healed and progressed and moved past, trauma that’s so bottled and stuffed in without any room to be let out, just suddenly coming out and biting him in the ass.

Now why I think everything he did and said was wrong, despite being justified :

First of all, mentally ill patients should never, ever, be demonized, treated as some sort of lowly animals that can’t be controlled, and especially not by a certified psychologist. As xqc himself once said, they are normal people who have been placed in abnormal environments and so had no choice but to develop a mindset that’s different from others. Of course, there are those who are BORN mentally ill, who are the way they are from the moment they came out of the womb.

Here is the thing tho : all mentally ill patients are victims. They are victims of their own disorders and illnesses, they suffer because of these illnesses more than anyone around them does. Because THEY are the ones experiencing the illness, THEY are the ones battling it and fighting it on a constant daily based. They are the ones who have to treat their own brains and minds as their biggest enemy.

Nevertheless, there ARE patients who are a danger on society. There are patients who will put others at the risk of harm. And those patients are dealt with in special means and ways. When being treated, everything is done to ensure the doctor’s and the patient’s safety. There are people standing ready with sedatives, there are special wards to accommodate them and avoid triggering them, and there are special ways of treating them, understanding their minds and brains, why they do what they do, what drives them to possibly harm others, and how that can be controlled, checked, and dealt with. There are ways to teach them how to deal with their illness, how to control their impulses, and how to coexist with others in society without harming themselves or those around them.

Qin Ciyan’s case was an exception that shouldn’t have been generalized. The son of the woman who died, might have been a mentally ill patient; however, he was an untreated patient who never stepped into the office of a psychologist that could have helped him. He lived his whole life like that, with his mother never telling him that his actions are wrong or trying to redirect him, in extreme poverty too, not even knowing that he was mentally ill or different from others. Most patients like him, don’t even realize that they’re suffering from a disease unless they’re told by a professional that they are. I bet his mother herself didn’t know that her son was mentally ill. The blame here lies on society for not educating the citizens more on mental health, and instead just treating it as a taboo topic and stamping it with harmful and demonizing stereotypes. So if the son’s actions and lash out was to be blamed on his illness, then we shouldn’t blame him. Rather, we should blame his circumstances, his poverty, the ignorance of society on the topic of mental health that allowed him to go on for so long without realizing he needed proper treatment. It is an exceptional case. Not a general one. Not every day the relative of a patient of yours who died comes barging in and stabbing you with knives.

But here’s the thing, it was later proven that, despite being mentally ill, he was completely sane during the time of the murder. Which showed that the murder wasn’t done because his illness caused him to lash out and lose control and be unable to distinguish between right and wrong. It was done because of his own vengeful intentions and wrath. If that’s the case, then why should all mental health patients be blamed for HIS decisions and actions? Why should they all be categorized into the same “can’t control themselves, might kill you at any time” box for a decision that one of them made when he was in a fully sane mindset? How is it their fault? Why didn’t xqc take the fact that he was sane at the time of the incident as any other resident when he chose to say the things he said?

Xqc, for anyone who DOESNT know about your background and what you’ve been through and why you reacted the way you did, of course they will call you a hypocrite! Because xqc, psychologists always get to choose their patients, and if they feel like they can’t handle a certain patient or their expertise isn’t enough to be able to treat said patient, they can easily transfer this patient to a more qualified and confident psychologist. Because xqc, when psychologists are dealing with a patient whom they deemed as dangerous and can suddenly lose control, they deal with such patients with utmost care and control, setting up so many precautions to ensure that no side is harmed during the treatment, at any given moment in time. Because at the end of the day, as a psychologist who must’ve treated countless patients before, you should know that every patient is unique, every patient has a story, every patient has a trigger. They all can’t be generalized into one category. Every case is different. Because as you yourself once said, isolating them from society and keeping them away from everyone else and treating them like some time bomb actually does more harm than good. Such treatment only triggers them further, hurts them further, and dehumanizes them in a discriminatory way. So of course such a video would paint you as a hypocrite, a doctor who lies to his patients, and someone whose previous patients can no longer trust or listen to.

If you wanted to be ‘safe’ for the sake of your family, you could’ve calmly stated that you are no longer qualified or able to deal with those patients with a sound mind anymore as the incident has affected you deeply, instead of going back on all your previous words and doing exactly what you yourself said people shouldn’t do when it comes to mentally ill patients. That’s probably what your colleagues thought when they heard you.

I rest my case by saying that I love xqc to bits, that although this analysis was highly criticizing, I still understand that he himself is a victim that shouldn’t be blamed for his trauma response. Also whatever reaction or treatment he yu will give him will be 10000000% justified. Also I love meatbun for managing to write smth so complicated and intricate and deep and full of layers that can’t be understood unless peeled carefully.

#case file compendium #meatbun #meatbun doesn’t eat meat #bing an ben #bab #cfc

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bandomfandombeyond · 3 years

Note

I never meant to imply that anyone is using PTSD as an excuse. What I meant is that PTSD can warp people’s perceptions of how the world works and make them believe that whatever triggers them is inherently bad. I'm definitely not saying this is always the case, but if there's any truth to my theory (which is based on my experiences with PTSD and what my psychologist has told me), then I don't think those people deserve being mocked, and I don't think mocking them is constructive. That's all.

I can see your point, I will admit. I have had moments where something triggered me and I hated that thing from that moment on -- the difference is that I know it's bad for me but can acknowledge that it might be cathartic to someone else, and it's not my job to police people's coping mechanisms. I am allowed to say "the way you (generalized) are responding to your trauma implies that you are not healthy enough to be engaging in this activity, because you are incapable of taking care of your own boundaries."

You (generalized) come across a site that has the extreme possibility of containing works that will trigger you. Rather than avoid that site and use sites with stricter TOS (ffn, wattpad, private archives), or even using the accessibility tools provided by AO3 to filter out things that you know will trigger you, you decide... To expose yourself to more things you know will trigger you? To put yourself into the position of The One True Fandom Police and harass and abuse people and use your trauma as an excuse to do it because you aren't taking care of yourself? To hunt down this content and people who enjoy it on tumblr and tell them it's their fault that you're upset?

You decide to call everyone who creates something even tangentially transgressive monsters and abusers and pedophiles. You muddy the waters of language until actual pedophiles can slide by unnoticed because you've diluted the meaning of the word pedophile to the point that people hear it and scoff because they assume you're talking about shipping fake people who don't matter and don't really exist!

Congratulations, you've used your PTSD as an excuse to give others PTSD around a free hobby that you did not have to engage with the way you chose to.

That's childish. It's selfish. And it's abusive and wrong. People -- CHILDREN -- have literally killed themselves this WEEK because OF ANTI HARASSMENT CALLING THEM A PEDOPHILE FOR THEIR SHIP. ANTIS ARE DRIVING PEOPLE TO SUICIDE. OVER SHIPPING WARS.

That's an actual facts crime, unlike the shit AO3 allows.

#like they dont need your defense #im not required to baby other peoples trauma when they arent doing the bare minimum to ake care of it themself #ao3 defense #anti anti #pro shipping #shipping wars

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pricemarshfield · 3 years

Text

fresh as a daisy

Chapter 1/2. Requested by @renluthor: dani/ainsley angst/angry makeout?

Read on AO3 here.

Ainsley, strictly speaking, doesn't have an issue with Dani. If she's being honest with herself, she's not even having an issue with Detective Powell of the New York City Police Department.

Her issue is this:

She's killed someone, and she's getting away with it, and Dani is an inherently suspicious person.

It would be so much easier if Dani had done something wrong. She is literally just doing her job, and Ainsley can't even blame her for being suspicious because her brother is different. He's freaking out about this or he's not. And he's not? He's freaking out about the fact that he's not freaking out as much as he should.

The gist of it is Malcolm covered up a murder--her murder--and Dani's circling.

So Ainsley does what she does best--redirects. She's gotten this far in life not through luck but because every time someone tried to push her about herself or about her mother or about her father, she managed to make it seem like she was sharing while she was actually just gauging their interest, the reason for their interest, and the best way to distract them.

It's manipulative, sure, but it's her mother's brand, not her father's, so it's fine. Something Dani probably won't know how to defend herself against, too.

So when Dani comes to her place to ask her if Malcolm's doing something he shouldn't, Ainsley does something Dani probably won't expect her to.

"You've noticed, too?" Ainsley asks, voice dripping with concern that's not entirely fake. She is worried about him. "I don't think it's anything, like. Criminal, you know? I think it's just with..."

"Endicott," Dani says, cutting her off, and Ainsley nods, frowning. "You think he's worried?"

"He stabbed Gil," Ainsley says, and Dani twitches, a bit, like she'd flinch if she didn't have the self-control not to. "And threatened our mother. And me," she adds as an afterthought. "I mean, I'm--"

"If you're trying to sell me that Malcolm is just scared for you," Dani says, and Ainsley shakes her head, because that's absolutely what she's trying to do and she doesn't want Dani to know that, "Then save it. I've seen Malcolm scared."

"Have you?" Ainsley says, resentful of the implication that Dani knows something about her brother that she doesn't. "Really scared? You know it's not that he's worried for his life, right? He's never been like that." Dani frowns at her, and Ainsley takes a fierce satisfaction in gaining that ground, even if what she's saying is something she wishes to God wasn't true. "People don't normally get to my mom. They almost never get to me. Did he ever tell you about my first 'super-fan'?"

"No," Dani says, voice a little quieter. It could be uncertainty, but Ainsley doesn't think so, so it's time to keep pushing. "He hasn't."

"Someone sent me a letter," Ainsley says, letting her voice sound as blank as she wants it to. "Saying they knew where I lived, and that they wanted to prove they were the one for me. Malcolm called it something technical, I don't know. The gist of it being that he thought I was in love with him, that I was sending him messages."

"Jesus," Dani says. Ainsley nods.

"And I had to move and I had to file a restraining order and all of that, but mostly, I had to keep an eye out for Malcolm, because for the entire time that was going down, Malcolm was completely--"

She exhales.

"Manic," Dani adds.

"No," Ainsley says. "Or not--I don't think so. I'm not a psychologist, but mania is like--joy, right? Like too much joy? Impulsivity? Malcolm was just off. It's like he was looking for something to keep him from thinking about it."

"If he's in danger, he can take focus from you," Dani says. "I noticed he does that."

"If he does that for you," Ainsley says. "Think about what he'll act like when I'm in danger, you know? Me and my mom?"

Dani's just taller than her, by an inch, if that, but Ainsley still feels like someone's looming over her when Dani looks her over. It's not aggressive, just--piercing, like Dani's managing to cut through the layers and layers of falsity to see her.

It's uncomfortable. The last time she felt like this, it was her father.

Or. Maybe it was Endi--

That's a dangerous train of thought, and Ainsley snaps, "So if you're trying to trick me into thinking that my brother's done something he shouldn't, you should leave. I trust my brother more than anyone."

Dani nods. "Okay."

"Okay?" Ainsley says, shoulders dropping a little in relief that she doesn't have to fake at all. "Good. I'm glad we can just focus on Malcolm. He needs it more than I do."

There's that look again, like Dani's seeing right through her, and Ainsley tenses. She's not sure why, or what she'll do if Dani does figure something out. "Ainsley?"

"Yeah?"

"I care about your brother," Dani says.

"Gross," Ainsley interrupts.

"Not like that," Dani says quickly, tucking her hair behind one ear. Ainsley bites her tongue to keep herself from grinning at the obvious tell. "I just mean...I'm not trying to, I don't know, catch him red-handed or anything. I just want to find out what happened. If he's okay. "

And that takes the wind out of her sails.

"Oh," Ainsley says. "Yeah. Me too."

Dani nods, and this is the part where she should turn around and leave, but instead, she says, "So you don't think it's just worry, then?"

If this were a text conversation, Ainsley would take a minute to just yell at herself for being so goddamn stupid. She can't just be honest with people about anything, not even when she's worried about her brother, she knows that. But she doesn't have that luxury, so she says, "What? Of course I do."

"You know, you're a good liar," Dani says conversationally. "Really. If I hadn't spent so much time with your brother, I'd fall for it. Hook, line, and sinker."

"What are you talking about?" Ainsley asks, letting her annoyance bleed through. "I'm worried about my brother, what makes you think I'm lying?"

"Because you make it sound like Malcolm's going through something he hasn't before," Dani says, and Ainsley's not sure if she actually takes a step closer but she seems like she's right in Ainsley's space now. "And I have seen your brother worried about you and your mother before, during the Carousel Killer case. This isn't that. He's been--on-edge, he's been angry, he's been reckless, but this? This is something different."

"You've known him for what, a year?" Ainsley says, venom in her voice that she can't seem to hold back. "You think you know him better than I do?" And that's genuinely infuriating, even if she's trying to redirect, always keeping the topic of conversation away from herself. Anything real about herself, at least. "Really?"

Dani's calculating expression shifts to more of a glare, and something in Ainsley thrills at that, all of a sudden. "I didn't say better. I said I know him."

"No," Ainsley says, taking a step closer. Dani doesn't back away. "You don't. You've seen Malcolm working while our father has his hooks in him. You don't know anything about my brother, so stop pretending you're looking for anything other than your next case."

"That's more your brother's thing than mine," Dani says, more a hiss than anything else, and there's that thrill up her spine again. "What's wrong with you, I just want to help!"

And Ainsley is sure she's telling the truth, or at least a version of it, and that's awful, so Ainsley says, "Then leave my family alone."

Dani reaches up, then, to grab her or to push her or something, and Ainsley reacts on instinct, shoving the other woman away from her. She wishes she had a weapon. Or she wishes that she didn't wish that. She's not sure yet. Dani only staggers a couple steps back, and she raises her hand in a conciliatory gesture.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Dani says.

"You didn't," Ainsley lies.

Dani lowers her hands. "But I don't trust you."

"I don't care," Ainsley says. "I haven't done anything wrong."

She's not even lying. Endicott needed to go. If she feels guilty about whatever Malcolm's going through, that's one thing, but the actual act itself might as well have been self-defense.

Dani rolls her eyes, though. "Save it. You and Malcolm did something, or you did and Malcolm's covering for you."

"My brother stops bad guys, he doesn't help them," Ainsley says. "Did you forget he turned in our dad?"

"No."

Ainsley stalks a step closer, then another, until she's right up in Dani's face, and says, "Get the hell out of my apartment."

"If you don't have anything to hide, then why aren't you being honest?" Dani says.

Ainsley smiles her best, falsest smile and says, "If you make me ask twice, I'll get you fired."

Dani frowns like she wasn't expecting that, which is ridiculous. Ainsley's her mother's daughter, always has been. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Ainsley says calmly, though she's honestly not sure she has enough influence in the department with Gil in the hospital. "I'm not keeping anything from you, so can you please fuck off? The security detail outside might actually have a use for you."

Dani glares, and Ainsley keeps grinning, and when Dani turns to leave, Ainsley wishes she was more excited about it.

"I'll be back," Dani says, one hand on the door handle.

"Don't," Ainsley says, all anger again. "Don't fucking do that."

"What, come back?"

"No, talk like you just have to keep trying and I'll reveal I've been the bad guy the whole time," Ainsley says. "Fuck you. You don't know anything about me."

Dani turns, and Ainsley takes a step closer to throw her out or--something. "That's why I'm asking."

"And I'm asking you to leave me the hell alone," Ainsley says, but somehow her arms are on either side of Dani's head, which presumably would make it a little difficult for her to leave.

Dani looks at her with some sort of surprise on her face, and Ainsley tries to figure it out, staring at her face to see if there's hostility or superiority or anything else that might put Ainsley or Malcolm in danger in her face. But there's just wide eyes, glancing from Ainsley to away to back again.

Oh, wait, that's--hm. That's the look Jin had before they actually spent a night together when Ainsley had him in a corner. That's interesting.

Ainsley steps back and drops her hands, because if she's reading this right, she doesn't actually want her pinned against the door. "What do you want, Dani?"

"Uh," Dani says. "Well, I want answers."

"Is that what you were thinking of just now?" Ainsley asks sweetly, because she's an asshole, and it's one hell of a way to redirect attention away from her.

Dani exhales, and says, "No."

Ainsley could act flustered, or act smooth, or act like this isn't anything unusual for her, but she isn't all that bashful and she isn't exactly a player and this isn't something she's ever, ever done before, and she wants to enjoy it, and she's really enjoying this--not quite fight they have going on, so she grins a smile that always made her mother look away and mutter something about her father, sits down on her couch, and says, "Then do something about it."

Dani swears under her breath and takes a few long steps closer until she can pull Ainsley in, and Ainsley can't help but melt into it, because this is so much better than anytime she did this with Jin or anyone. Dani kisses surprisingly sweetly for someone who's so clearly pissed at her, if the grip she has on Ainsley's face is any indication.

Ainsley gets one leg between Dani's and pushes out, knocking Dani on top of her. Dani pulls away with a little huff of annoyance, but Ainsley kisses her to shut her up before she can say anything that'll ruin this. Dani's so warm and Ainsley's apartment is always freezing, and Ainsley can't help but drag Dani closer to enjoy the feeling of her as close as possible.

Dani shivers in surprise, but relaxes a little. There's still some heat to this, Dani's teeth pulling at Ainsley's bottom lip, Ainsley's nails scratching along the top of Dani's spine, but it feels less like urgency and more like something to luxuriate in. So Ainsley does, arching her back a little to press against Dani everywhere she can, and Dani pulls away to pull in a breath. When she does, Ainsley gently brushes her fingers where Dani's top rides up a little.

Dani doesn't full-body jolt or anything, but when she kisses Ainsley again, it's a little deeper, a little harder. Ainsley takes her time with it, exploring Dani's mouth, tongue running along Dani's teeth, the roof of her mouth, sucking on her tongue. That's enough for Dani to pull back and groan, low and right against Ainsley's ear, and Ainsley had just meant to kiss her but--fuck, that's an offer if Ainsley's ever heard one.

So Ainsley pushes up, rolling them until Dani's pressed into the couch cushions and Ainsley's straddling her lap, Dani's hands coming up to hold Ainsley by her hips. Ainsley makes a pleased sound into Dani's mouth, and Dani grips a little bit harder. Ainsley's not sure if it's in appreciation or annoyance, but she'll take it either way.

They kiss awhile longer, until Ainsley's legs hurt from propping herself up and there's an ache between her legs that she's not sure she's going to take care of, so she pulls back, pulling in a breath, and rests her head against Dani's. When she opens her eyes, Dani's already looking back at her, and Ainsley shivers, the eye contact almost more intimate than anything else they've done.

"So," Dani says.

"So," Ainsley says. "This is probably not what you expected when you came over."

"No," Dani agrees with a little laugh that Ainsley would be pissed about if it wasn't obviously self-deprecating. "It definitely wasn't."

Ainsley pulls back a little, the eye contact just this side of overwhelming, and says, "Were you, um." This feels more difficult than any other time she's done this with someone, but then again, she's certainly never made out with a woman who came to her house to question her about a murder she's committed without realizing the murder had taken place, so. "How far were you thinking this might, uh...go?"

It's not anywhere near the level of charismatic she likes to be, and she winces at it before she's even done talking. When she glances back at Dani, the other woman has her eyes wide, like she hadn't even considered that, and Ainsley puts her hands on Dani's shoulders to push herself up and away.

"It's fine," Ainsley mutters. "Seriously. No pressure, or whatever."

"Oh," Dani says. "I, uh."

Dani stares at her, and Ainsley's lipstick is smeared on her face, so Ainsley clears her throat and looks anywhere else. Ainsley's her father's daughter, after all, and Dani deserves better. Hell, might even deserve Malcolm, someone who cares with all their fucking being, not her.

"Get out," Ainsley says, and this time, Dani listens.

Ainsley spends the rest of the day decidedly not-moping. Moping is unproductive, and stupid, and she didn't care that much, anyway, so she throws herself into work. An article on Dr. Whitly's move to a public facility, an article on some professor's very public divorce with his wife, something about a corrupt CEO (and hasn't she had enough of those, recently?).

The articles aren't nearly as good as they could be, as they should be, but in her defense, she's got a lot on her mind, what with the murder and the interrogation and the makeout with a woman. She should be freaking out about that, she thinks, because she did not know she was interested in women until Dani looked at her and she felt more energized than any time with Jin or any other ex-boyfriend, but...

Well, she just doesn't have the room for anything else to worry about.

Malcolm doesn't respond when she texts him, letting him know that Dani came over with a little ":)" to indicate it was something murder-related (Malcolm's idea, or maybe Dad's). Her mom doesn't answer when she asks to go for dinner or something. Ainsley worries about that, a little, but her mom probably just fell asleep curled into some hospital chair at Gil's bedside. It's what she's done the past few nights, anyway. The one time Ainsley went to see her, her mom said she'd go home as soon as he woke up, and Malcolm had ducked his gaze, refusing to say the all-too-awful reality that he might not.

So she works on her articles until the sun goes down, not bothering to get up and turn on the light. She gets told that her articles "could do with a little more polish! <3 love ya" from Leslie, who she hasn't talked to about anything other than work in months. She finishes the last thing she can get done without actually getting up and leaving the relative stability of her couch.

And then it's the hardest part of post-getting away with murder: not thinking about it.

Ainsley tries to watch TV, but she'd been bored with every show on Hulu before her life went to shit. She tries to read one of her books, but too many of them are about her father or murder or crime in general to actually be a distraction. She plays some stupid game on her phone, and that works, but she feels like an animal in a cage after too long playing it. Pacing around and around and waiting for something to do.

Hm, maybe an article on poor zoo care. A follow up on that Tiger King thing might actually get approved.

Something almost like excitement drives her to get back to her computer to start researching when someone knocks. She frowns; the clock on her computer reads 9:16pm. A little late for a social call, and she didn't order food. Maybe Malcolm got her something from that Thai place? He does that when she freaks out a little too much.

She isn't that surprised when she sees Dani on the other side.

"Hey," she says awkwardly.

"Hey," Dani says. "Uh, I thought you were asleep. 'Cause of the lights."

"I fell asleep on the couch," Ainsley says with a little shake of her head, like she's trying to wake herself up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up, we can talk another time," Dani says, turning to leave.

"No, wait--" Ainsley says, even though by all rights she should want her gone. "Um."

Dani looks tired, like she's the one who's got some big sin weighing on her. Hell, maybe she does. Ainsley doesn't really know anything about her. "We should...probably talk about it, right?"

"Malcolm?" Ainsley says, though the way the corner of Dani's mouth quirks up makes it clear she picks up on the sarcasm. "I...yeah, we probably should."

Belatedly, Ainsley turns to the side so that Dani can walk in. Dani turns on the light as she goes, and Ainsley blinks against the sudden brightness. "So."

"So," Ainsley says. "Uh. I didn't--I wasn't expecting that, either."

"Yeah," Dani says. "Look, I don't--I don't know what I'm looking for with this either. I don't know if this--" She gestures between herself and Ainsley vaguely. "--is something you're even interested in. I don't know if I trust you."

That stings.

"But I think I'd like to try?" The end of it is higher, like a question, like Dani's not sure either. It's so different from every other early relationship Ainsley's ever had, where she allowed herself to be pursued for the thrill of it without ever pushing for it herself.

"Sure," Ainsley says.

"Can you just--" Dani sighs. "I have to ask. Can you just tell me something honestly first?"

"Of course," Ainsley says.

"Endicott," Dani says, and Ainsley knew it was coming but she has to force herself not to tense up anyway. "Do you think Malcolm had something to do with him disappearing?"

Ainsley sighs, pretends to think. "No. I don't think my brother could ever do anything like that to anyone."

Dani relaxes, even as Ainsley can see she doesn't really believe her. Shame. She's actually telling the truth for once.

#my fics #renluthor #request #dansley #dani powell #ainsley whitly #prodigal son #daisy #for my tagging system fjdkfld #fic: fresh as a daisy

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doctoraliceharvey · 4 years

Note

hey, could you write malice where matthew gets angry (not necessarily with her but in general) and how alice deals with this because it’s been implied before that she can’t deal with shouting?

uuuuh this got long, but I hope you enjoy it and I really enjoyed exploring this entire aspect of Matthew and Alice.

it's of a different fic (and felt like it took me forever to actually write it), but honestly the idea of actually exploring a little of WHY Matthew yells and how that could affect a potential relationship with Alice was too interesting to pass up. The working title of this fic was "Matthew Goes to Therapy" and honestly most characters on this show probably should, but I'm very proud of Matthew actually sitting down with his feelings and anger and dealing with them. Please enjoy! - Dee

tw: mentions of abuse

Flowers In The Darkest Part of My Mind

AO3 | FF.NET

-----

"What brought you here?"

Matthew sighed as he shifted on the couch; it was a comfortable couch and Matthew had gotten to know it over the past few weeks of coming to Dr. Graves, but at his question, suddenly Matthew felt like he had at the beginning: out of place.

"Matthew?"

Glancing over at the doctor - a tall, quiet man about Matthew's age with his dark grey hair starting to go white - Matthew sighed again.

"There was… an incident."

"What sort of incident?"

"One of the constables - a little green around the gills, no fault of his own - messed up on a case and it happened that I was… stressed out that day. I'd been stressed quite a bit before this incident, but this was the day it all just kind of… blew up. A… friend and colleague overheard the yelling and… she pulled away from me because of it. Alice… I won't say much because I also don't know much, but she… didn't have a happy childhood and I'd seen the way she was like when someone raised their voice or moved too quickly towards her."

"Ah," Dr. Graves nodded as he jotted down a few notes. "So, Alice pulled away?"

"Yes, she stopped coming by the house for dinner, stopped bantering with me at work, only doing the bare minimum in interacting with me or the police, so… after talking with Jean - who knows a lot more of Alice's past - I realized Alice was afraid of me… of my anger."

"And that's not something you want?"

Matthew shook his head, "I don't think it's something I've wanted for a long time. Besides scaring Alice, who's a close friend… I'm just tired of being so angry for so long. Angry at my father, angry at my past, angry at Lucien, angry at the higher ups, angry at the world… God, I'm just so tired."

"Hm, interesting."

He liked Dr. Graves; the psychologist never pushed and had a sort of eclectic way of looking at the world - it almost was like he'd found another "Alice" and found it easy to talk to the man, regardless if he'd been nervous at first.

The way Alice had looked at him after running into him in the hallway once he'd been through with carpeting the constable, the way her eyes were wide, scared, and how she'd stepped back from him - flinched, really - confused him; they'd gotten through so much and had started to fall back into the friendship both enjoyed prior to Lucien going missing, that her pulling back so suddenly frustrated him.

It wasn't until Alice didn't show up for dinner a few nights in a row, that he finally turned to Jean for her input.

"You remember the day you were reaming out the constable?" She'd asked him quietly as the tea steeped between them.

"I do."

"You weren't in the bullpen with us, but… Alice was shaking."

"Shaking?"

"Yes, she'd come by to drop off a report and was chatting with me and Peter when you started in; I nearly thought she would faint dead right then and there."

He couldn't picture Alice close to fainting, but Jean looked serious.

"She couldn't hide the way her hands shook or the paleness of her cheeks, so I told her to go outside for fresh air."

"I ran into her on her way out, and she flinched from me, Jean. She's… she's never done that before even before we really knew each other."

"But you don't know each other, not… I mean, you're close, but there's still so much you don't know about Alice and things she doesn't know about your past."

Matthew pulled at his hair as he ran a hand through it; letting out a frustrated sigh, he watched Jean pour them tea.

"What am I missing, Jean? I don't… I don't want it to be like this, I… I miss her."

Jean continued to pour the tea and fix their cups to their liking - staying quiet for a long time (and Jean could draw out her silences when she liked to) before she took a sip and sighed.

"I think… I think Alice was startled and got scared… by your anger, Matthew."

"My anger?"

"The yelling."

Scrubbing his face with his hand, Matthew frowned, "But… why?"

"That's probably for Alice to tell you, but… from what I can tell she didn't have an easy childhood. Lucien and Charlie once mentioned she'd told a suspect that she 'didn't need protecting since she was twelve years old'... I'll let you speculate as to why."

Matthew sighed, a tired, weary sigh, and leaned his head in his hand; he'd seen enough children abused by their parents to hazard a guess (hell, he'd been through some with his father), and the flinching, the startled, almost deer-in-headlights look Alice got when she'd overheard his yelling started to make a little more sense.

"Oh, Christ."

Jean hummed and pushed his tea towards him, "So… I suppose to fix this… you might need to do some thinking and reflecting."

At that he huffed a silent laugh, "Thinking never helped me get anywhere… just leads me in circles."

"Then maybe you need someone to help guide you… your brother-in-law works in the field of psychology, does he not?"

"Yeah, but I don't think I could tell him all about this… I know there are things that Vera never told him about our past and I don't want to drive a wedge between them. Vera's moved on as much as she could."

"Then see if he has a friend or colleague who might be open to new patients."

Matthew sighed again as Jean patted his hand and he stared off into space as he mechanically sipped at his tea - not really tasting it as Jean started on cleaning up the kitchen post-dinner. Would he really do this? Could he really do this? Go and talk to a stranger about… well, everything?

If he didn't, would he lose Alice?

And so, here he was, a few weeks later after a few days of self-reflection and knowing something needed to drastically change in order for his world to right itself; Matthew reached out to his brother-in-law, Daniel Anderson, and found someone to help him figure out where to go from there.

Doctor Maxwell Graves was certainly an interesting choice, but Matthew liked how he made him feel at ease even when asking deeply probing questions about his past, his father - everything, really. Through the psychologist, Matthew was able to take the demons of his past and shrink them down into more manageable battles; he gave Matthew new tools to work with - a journal, counting to himself when he found his anger rising, breathing exercises - and never judged Matthew if he fell a little behind or had to reschedule. The practice he ran with his wife - also a psychologist who tended to see the women of the practice, and specialized in victims of abuse - had become a place of comfort to Matthew in the weeks since his last outburst.

"Matthew?"

"Hm?" Matthew felt his cheeks grow warm, realizing he'd drifted off into his thoughts for far too long.

"What were you thinking of?"

"Just… just how much everything's gotten better since I started coming to see you, Doc."

At that, Dr. Graves smiled. "I'm glad to hear it, and I think that I've finally figured out the source of all of this."

"Really?" Matthew sat up slightly to make eye contact with the doctor. "What is it?"

"I don't think your anger is actually anger, I think it's grief."

"Grief?" That wasn't what Matthew was expecting to hear at all.

"Mm-hm," his psychologist nodded. "I think it's grief that you never let yourself feel; grief for your childhood, grief for your father, grief for your friend, Lucien. It comes out as anger, but I think you're lashing out from a place of sadness and hurt."

"I understand that part, but… I also get angry when things are unfair… is that also grief?"

"In a way, it's grief stemming from your immense capacity for empathy; you're sad - and angry - at the world because you genuinely wish it could be a better place and through all you've seen at work it feels like you haven't made a difference at all. You get stuck on all the things that haven't changed, all the good that hasn't been done instead of the good impact you've had, that it builds up and lashes out on unsuspecting constables."

Matthew chuckled, "I suppose that makes sense… does that change anything?"

"Not really," Dr. Graves smiled. "Same sort of coping mechanisms, but also allow yourself to feel everything… don't hold back if you need to grieve or cry or whatever when a case gets to you, or something happens in your life; and of course I'll be here for you to talk to - in person or over the phone if it's particularly bad."

"Hm…"

"I know it sounds very simple, and also goes against everything you've been told growing up about how to be a man, but allowing yourself to feel is a lot harder than it sounds. It takes quite a bit of bravery, but I assure you it'll be better for you, your emotions, and your relationships in the long run."

"I'll try, Doc."

Dr. Graves patted his shoulder, "That's all I ever ask, Matthew. Now, continue your journaling, work on the breathing exercises, and allow yourself to truly feel something this week besides frustration or anger."

Matthew snorted a laugh, but shook Dr. Graves' hand as he stood. "Thanks, Doc. I should get back to Ballarat."

"Have a safe trip, and, Matthew?"

"Yeah?"

"I would tell your Alice about all of this… it sounds like you really care for her and I think she should know the effort you've been making to deal with your anger."

Matthew nodded and headed out of Dr. Graves office with a lighter heart. It was still hard work to confront his past and unlearning old habits, but he deserved better.

(And so did everyone around him)

-----

Alice felt lost; this wasn't the first time (nor the last time), but this time she felt it much more keenly than before. It all started with a letter.

She didn't know how they'd found her; she'd left that life long ago - as well as her sister - and wanted nothing to do with her parents. Alice battled with the urge to read the letter or to simply throw it in the fireplace - the very sight of the return address bringing up memories that were never far from her nightmares. They affected her sleep, which affected how she came across to people, and Alice could tell Jean was starting to notice, when that fateful day in the station happened.

Her emotions were already holding on by a tightly wound string, and to hear Matthew yelling in that way had violently shook her to the core; his voice morphed into that of her father's - the letter still burning an image in her mind - and Alice tried to hide the way her knees suddenly grew weak and threatened to give out underneath her.

"Alice?"

"I'm fine," she'd tried to smile - to reassure both Jean and Peter.

"You're as white as a sheet, let's get you out for some air, hm?"

Flinching just a little away from her friend's grasp, Alice shook her head, "I… I can find it on my own, thank you."

All but running from the bullpen, and away from the questions that would arise if she stayed any longer, Alice gasped when she nearly ran into Matthew.

"Alice?" he reached for her and she flinched away - her mind not knowing the difference between him and her father, all it urged her to do was to get out of the building, to run to where it was safe.

'Matthew is safe though,' she tried to tell herself, but his sudden outburst of anger scared her.

Shaking her head with a faint apology and fighting tears, Alice tore out of the station and back to the hospital - trying to calm herself down in the process.

She knew Matthew got angry when things were unfair, and that he had to keep a strict hand on the station lest it got out of control, but… she'd never quite heard or seen him this way. He got short, yes, or abrupt, but not like this; the closest he'd come was when he'd snapped at Jean outside the morgue - she'd been more annoyed with his treatment of their mutual friend than scared, and still felt safe around him, knowing he was different than the men of her past.

But would he be safe now after this? Would he get angry again, and angry at her? Could she risk her heart like that?

Alice sighed and leaned back on her couch - no closer to answers than she had been weeks ago. Against her wants and wishes, Alice drew back from Matthew - not going around for dinner with him and Jean, no lingering conversations or looks in the morgue or station, and mainly going through the motions she had to for her job. It hurt; she missed Matthew, but she couldn't risk all the progress she'd made in her life to be around someone who got angry like that.

But has it really been progress? Has she really been getting over her past? Or was she still running from it like she had when twelve years old?

Eyeing the letter on her coffee table - still unopened - Alice felt so damn lost… and desperately wished someone was here to help guide her through it all.

The sound of her doorbell jarred Alice from her thoughts and she leapt to her feet - trying to calm the rapid beat of her heart as she wiped her sudden clammy palms on her robe and went to see who'd come around to her little bungalow. Peering through the peephole, Alice bit her lower lip when she saw Matthew standing there.

'Why is he here?' she thought, even as she slowly unlocked the door and peered out through a crack.

"Hi," he gave her a slight, nervous, smile. "Uh… I hear it's your birthday today, and I didn't want you to think I forgot."

Honestly she'd forgotten about her own birthday - most people did, at least until she'd come to Ballarat. The sight of the small bouquet of daisies (he'd remembered her preference for them over other more… obviously romantic flowers usually picked), and a gift bag in his hand nearly made her start crying.

"I, um, I understand if you don't want me to linger or come in, or even if you don't want to accept the gift, Alice," Matthew cleared his throat and continued. "But I want you to know… that I've been working on my anger, and the yelling, and the… overall grumpiness. That's… that's what I've been doing this past few weeks when you pulled back, and I don't blame you at all. I don't think I've been happy with myself for quite some time, and… well, I'm getting help - professional help - with all of it."

At that, Alice opened the door further and silently stepped up to Matthew; sliding her arms around his shoulders, she buried her face in the crook of his neck - smiling when she felt him hesitate before pulling her closer.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome."

Drawing back from the spontaneous hug, Alice wiped at the tears falling and waved him in.

"You're sure?"

Smiling at the way he shifted his weight like a schoolboy about to be scolded, Alice nodded; Matthew stepped into her home, watching her quietly as she closed the door behind him. Knotting her fingers in front of her, Alice shuffled nervously next to him.

"I… I've missed you," she admitted in the uneasy silence between them.

That got her a shy smile, "I missed you too."

"Tea?" She motioned further into her home and led him to the kitchen; it felt… right to have him here - sitting silently at her table as she bustled around readying a brew for two. Alice hadn't realized just how much she'd missed him until that moment; he had always made her feel comfortable (he shared a silence with her the same way Lucien always made her at ease by filling up the air with words and pulling her out of her shell).

"Still white with two?" she asked him.

"Yeah, you still take honey in yours?"

"Yeah," Alice smiled over her shoulder as the kettle boiled.

"Why honey?"

"It's what Mum had on hand most of the time… cheaper than sugar since one of our neighbors had a hive."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Oh, the other neighbors hated it, but since it was up on the roof, they couldn't complain much," Alice shrugged. "At least we got free honey."

Matthew's faint chuckle warmed her heart as she brought over the steaming cups; watching him blow gently on his before taking a sip and (predictably) burning his tongue a little, Alice smiled as the warmth in her chest rose - she'd missed him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Why?"

"For… for pulling away."

"Don't be," Matthew reached out a hand and squeezed hers when she met him halfway. "Don't be, Alice. If you hadn't… I probably wouldn't have gone to get help."

"What do you mean?"

"I wondered why you pulled away, why you hadn't come by for dinner, and Jean finally sat me down and told me you'd gotten scared of my… yelling, my anger."

Alice squeezed his hand as he drew in a deep breath.

"And… as awful as it was not having you around, I'm grateful for it… it pushed me to get help and I can't express enough of how much better I feel for it. I'm… I'm sorry it took something like what happened in the bullpen to have me look for help, but…"

"You're still grateful for it, I understand."

"And… I want to tell you about why I tend to yell."

She could feel the way his hands started to shake in hers, and saw the nervous tick of him chewing on his inner lip; she'd never seen him this nervous, not even when he'd bucked up the courage to ask her out to dinner that first time.

(How she hated to have to let him down gently, as much as she wanted to finally go forward in their dance)

"Okay," Alice nodded. "Okay, yeah, do you want to stay here and tell me or move to somewhere more comfortable? How's your le-?"

"Alice, sweetheart," Matthew smiled, cutting off her concerned questions, and her stomach fluttered a little at the term of endearment.

"Anywhere is fine, I just… it's harder to talk about this than I thought, which is stupid because I just talked about it all with Dr. Graves."

"It's not stupid, it's not."

Matthew shifted in his seat and sighed, "It still feels stupid."

"It's not," she squeezed his hands. "I know how hard it can be to admit these things to people you care about because you don't want things to change… or how they view you to change. How about we move to the couch and maybe that'll help you figure out what you want to say?"

"Okay," he nodded.

Alice made new, fresh cups of tea for both of them as Matthew shuffled out of the kitchen to the couch; as she brought the mugs in, she saw him eyeing the letter still on her coffee table.

"Not a fan of opening your mail?"

"Not overly fond of mail from Sydney… I'll tell you after you get whatever it is off your chest, that's what you came for after all."

He nodded and smiled when she handed over the fresh cup of tea. It all came out - slowly, and frequently punctuated with long silences as Matthew worked out what he wanted to say; she had no idea what a brute his father had been, and how similar their childhoods were. Matthew's father was more emotionally distant - with somewhat violent drunken outbursts - and tended to gamble things and money away rather than beat the living daylights out of Matthew, and Alice wondered if it was because Matthew started fighting back once he got older and stronger than Alice had been - ultimately more of a coward than her own father.

Matthew's upbringing along with the bullying he'd faced at the hands of McAvoy (no wonder he'd been so stressed during the Ballarat West case) shed light on his overall grumpiness and anger - it had all been a wall, a way to separate himself from the world, from getting attached because his heart felt too much. Alice squeezed his hands - their tea cups abandoned on the table, cooled and forgotten - as he went into all that the doctor had told him about how his anger was actually his grief manifesting from a place of hurt.

"Now that you know, what is he having you do to help?"

"I have a journal," Matthew smiled - their joined hands on his good knee. "Dr. Graves has me write down something good each day - even if it's just as simple as 'I had a really good cup of tea', and that way I can look back on the week and see how much good really is in my life, so I don't lose focus of that when work gets to be a lot."

"Good, I'm glad."

"Me too," his smile widened and he wiped away the lingering tears he'd shed earlier; Alice leaned over and kissed his cheek as she hugged him.

"I'm so proud of you."

Matthew sniffled some - clearing his throat in a way that told Alice he was trying not to cry again - but he held tight to Alice and she felt her shoulder grow a little damp.

"I'm so proud of you," she told him again as he drew back to wipe his tears.

"Thank you, sweetheart."

Alice felt her cheeks warm as he softly kissed one; Matthew smiled when she immediately reached for his hand while he took a little time to recover.

"Now, uh," he cleared his throat, "what about Sydney mail hits you the wrong way?"

"Where to start," she sighed, but with Matthew's hand tight around hers, she drew the strength to tell him of her past.

She wasn't quite sure what to make of the shining look in Matthew's eyes - not pitying like some had done - as he remained silent throughout her tale (exactly like she had in his - squeezing her hands reassuringly whenever her throat closed around her words), but she greatly appreciated finally telling someone the whole sad, sorry lot she'd received in life. Finally, Matthew would understand why she was so touch-averse from people she didn't trust. Finally, he'd understand why any type of raised voice could set her on edge. And finally, he'd understand why it took her so long to open up to anyone (and how Lucien had done that by simply accepting Alice for herself - no expectations, no restrictions, just pure acceptance of her as a doctor and her as a friend).

"Oh, Alice," he gently pulled her in for a hug. "I'm so sorry you ever had to go through that, and I'm proud of you."

Alice held on tight to him - taking comfort in his solid, steady warmth - and though the tears fell, she felt so relieved to finally get it out in the open; she was no longer running from her past - not quite confronting it, but willing to stop and walk with it instead of away from it.

"The yelling and the anger on my part… was that another reason you were so hesitant about… us?"

"I… I think so."

"Then I'm definitely glad I went and got help. I know, I know, I shouldn't want to change for the hope of a relationship, sweetheart, but I also wanted to change for myself and you're worth changing for."

Alice simply held him tighter - not knowing what to say, but it did give her a little bit of hope that maybe their dance could resume.

"So… are you worried that your parents have finally found you with this letter from Sydney?"

"Yeah," she wiped her eyes.

"Want me to open it for you and then you can read it?"

"Oh, would you? I-I don't know if I could ever buck up the courage to."

Matthew kissed her forehead and leaned forward to pick up the letter; the address of her parents' house glared up at Alice as she leaned her head on Matthew's shoulder - though she didn't recognize the handwriting. He gently ripped the envelope open and pulled out the letter.

"Can…" she sighed when he held it out, "Can you read it? Out loud, please?"

"Yeah, I can," he kissed her forehead again.

"Dear Alice," the letter began, "I know this letter might come as a shock, or completely unwanted, but I hope you've decided to open it and find out. It took awhile to track you down, but Father's lawyer finally did, and I'm writing to tell you that Father is dead. Mum's still alive, and I'm taking care of her as she deals with both her grief and relief over the fact that she's out from under his abusive thumb. I'm also writing to tell you that I never hated you for leaving, my dear sister. You got out when you could, and I was thankfully shielded from Father's abuse by Mum, who didn't want to lose her other daughter. You made your choice to leave, and I made my choice to stay after I got older, and I just… I wanted you to know that both Mum and I worried after you. I hope you reach out to us again now that Father's gone, I'd love to introduce you to your niece - she reminds me so much of you every day. Yours, Peg."

"Oh…" Alice covered her mouth with her hand as she gently took the letter from Matthew's hand - more tears springing up in her eyes as she poured over the slanting handwriting of her baby sister - so very different from when they were young.

"Oh, Matthew…"

"Seems like good news, hm?"

"I… I don't know."

He kissed her temple as she stared at the letter, "Well… your father's dead, and it sounds like your sister and Mum miss you."

"What if it's a trick?"

"There's one way to find out," he pointed to the phone number written down at the bottom. "If it is a trick, you've still got me and Jean and the whole of Ballarat's police force to help protect you. We'll do whatever we need to do."

That did make her feel better; she had a family here in Ballarat - one unlike she'd ever had before, and she felt more confident that she could confront any negative consequences from reaching out to her family.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

She nodded, "Okay. I want to call and find out."

"How about tomorrow, it's getting a little late."

Alice looked down at Matthew's watch and giggled at the late hour.

"Might have to sneak out of here, but first, you have a gift to open."

"I completely forgot."

"Sit tight, I'll get the gift," with another kiss to her forehead, Matthew got up with a slight groan and quickly retrieved the bag he'd brought in.

"Happy Birthday, Alice."

She peered into the bag and giggled at the familiar sight of Jean's biscuit tin. "Did you nick Jean's biscuits, my dear Matthew?"

"No!" He protested even as she laughed. "No, no, no, it was all that was on hand to hold your present. As if Jean would let me nick her tin anyways."

Alice continued to laugh and opened the tin - inhaling the scent of baked shortbread drizzled in chocolate; they weren't perfect, some of the pieces were a little wonky, but when she pulled one out to sample they were just as delicious as Jean's usual shortbread (and the added chocolate made her want to eat the entire tin in one go).

Matthew cleared his throat again, "Sorry some of them look weird, I'm not as skilled as Jean is in the kitchen - though she did hover over my shoulder while I made them."

"You made these?"

His cheeks turned pink (as did his ears), but he nodded, "I, uh, I wanted to give you something a little special, but not too over the top."

"It's perfect, Matthew," Alice leaned over and hugged him - the tin still in her hands as her friend laughed. "Thank you, I love it."

"Good," he kissed the top of her head as she lingered in his arms, "I'm glad."

"And I'm glad you've gotten help, and that you've trusted me with everything."

"Just as I am with you trusting me with your past."

She hummed a little happy hum before kissing Matthew's cheek as she drew back from the hug; he smiled at her - his hand coming up to trail over her cheek - it widened when she leaned into his touch.

"It's getting late," Matthew told her softly.

"It is… you'll come back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, or you could come over to the house - have some privacy in the studio before staying for dinner."

"Is this your way of asking me over for dinner?" She teased.

"Maybe," he kissed her cheek, "that and Jean also misses you coming by."

"Alright… provided we don't get called in on a Sunday, I'll drop by in the afternoon to make the call… you'll be there, right?"

"For as long as you want me to be, sweetheart."

"Good," she smiled and leaned in to press her lips softly against his. "Good."

Alice's smile widened when he stared at her for a moment before a wide, boyish grin spread across his face, and she giggled as he pulled her in for another kiss - the shortbread tin lifted from her hands to be placed on the coffee table as he kissed her again.

It was getting late, and Matthew probably should leave, but Alice mused (as they traded more kisses) that he wasn't leaving any time soon.

-----

"How have you been since our last meeting?" Dr. Graves asked him, and Matthew couldn't stop the goofy grin spreading across his face at the memory of kissing Alice the night of her birthday.

"Matthew?"

"Sorry, Doc," he cleared his throat, but the psychologist waved him off.

"It's good to see you so happy. What happened?"

"I, uh, I told Alice about everything."

"That's good," Dr. Graves smiled. "And?"

"And what?"

"What's causing the grin?"

Trying to bite back another grin - and failing - Matthew ducked his head.

"Ah, well… Alice and I have a date… after sharing a few kisses."

The answering smile from his psychologist made it feel even better.

"Good, very good."

#alice harvey #matthew lawson #matthew x alice #tdbm fic #writing of dee #Anonymous

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dawnwave16 · 4 years

Text

Reflections - Project Widow Soldier Part 2

I don’t know if I’ll be posting much of my own content again until after the New year so if you don’t hear from m until then, hope you all have a Merry Christmas (Or whichever holiday you prefer to celebrate!) and I’ll see you in the New Year! Also, I don’t think I’ll be continuing this any further as I have no more headcanons for it but I hope you enjoy this anyway.

Part 1

Anyway on with the story!:

Marinette sat in the lounge of the Avengers tower, eyes closed and for once almost completely relaxed. Friday was playing a mix of Christmas music that had everything from Peter Hollens, Pentatonix and Lindsey Stirling to Frank Sinatra and co. Currently, it was 'Grown-up Christmas List' by Evynne Hollens and its wording was making her reflect on the past few months.

When the Avengers had found out she existed she had been worried that she would be dragged away from the life she had made for herself in Paris completely. She had been extremely when Tony had walked into her class and dealt with Lila, Alya and Ms Bustier as it took all the pressure she had been feeling from dealing with those three herself off of her. The fall out from that had been extremely swift with Ms Bustier being replaced by a Ms Pargeter, who was not only a good teacher but made history much more enjoyable! The class had gone back treating her the way they always had before Lila had taken over and while she didn't care all that much about their opinions it was nice to be able to walk through the halls without people trying to trip her. She was also grateful as she hadn't expected them to support her wish to stay with the Dupain-Cheng's nor had she expected them to stick around long enough to help with the Hawkmoth problem.

That had been interesting to be part of. Not long after they had arrived in France, there had been an Akuma attack that had forced Master Fu to name her as the guardian. Due to this, she knew she wouldn't be able to leave Paris until Hawkmoth was dealt with, and if she was honest with herself, she wanted a true holiday! This led to her asking the Avengers for help, which they were all too willing to provide. When she wasn't working on her hacking skills with Tony to get into the police video archives, she was sparring with Natasha and Bucky to make sure she hadn't lost her skills there. She had gone over her weapons training with Hawkeye too and was pleased to see that despite not actively using her skills she hadn't lost any of them.

They had had their first break when they had noticed that there were no camera's around the Agreste Mansion and gone backtracking to find out why. Seeing the number of bribes the man had paid to various people to make sure the area remained camera free was staggering, to say the least! The next step was to hack all of the computers in the mansion. She knew that Adrian had missed several classes due to photoshoots and she also knew that all the computers in his home were linked so it was simple to slip a program onto a flash drive that would bypass all of Mr Agreste's firewalls and give them unlimited access to all his computers without having to bother about hacking them. Tony had seen the logic in that as it saved time, even if it did require him to have some patience.

Some of the things they had found on those computers, when combined with the police records had been enough to convince everyone that Mr Agreste or Nathalie was Hawkmoth. When Mayura was added to the mix they were almost 100% sure. To be safe, Marinette had lent her mother the fox miraculous to case out the mansion without it being traced back to any of the avengers. Natasha had named herself Kuma Lisa* and her colouring when transformed was a dark red that could easily be mistaken for black. She had almost no white on her and as a result, she tended to vanish into the shadows which was perfect for her spying activities. When she had seen the huge butterfly window and even more damming, the corrupted butterflies that left from it, they knew they had been right. They also knew they would have to be careful as some of the purchases they had seen through the computers had included military-grade hardware and weapons.

With all the evidence they had, Marinette knew she had to bring Adrian in so that he didn't receive a shock during the battle. She had had to think hard about how to break the news to him and eventually decided to slip him a note to meet her at the Grand Paris where she could reveal herself as Ladybug and the Avengers could back up what she was saying. He hadn't taken it well but in the end, he had lowered his head in defeated acceptance. He had then asked what would become of him when his father was arrested and had been shocked when Tony had offered to adopt him. Tony knew of his love of physics and chemistry and had wanted to nurture it though he knew he would need to get Adrian into councilling so that he didn't end up the same way he had. When Adrian had found out about Marinette was adopted her had been more than willing to accept Tony's offer though he was shocked when he found out who her birth parents were.

With the help of her parents and the rest of the Avengers, the battle had gone smoothly. They had Kuma Lisa had waited out of sight near the opening of Hawkmoth's lair and had alerted them as soon as it had opened. With Kaalki's help, the whole team had been on-site within seconds. Hawkmoth had tried to fight back as had Mayura but he just didn't have the skill to go against the Avengers and Ladybug at the same time, especially as for the first time ever, Ladybug had not held back. The fight had been brutally one-sided from the start and within 10min of everyone arriving the fight was over. Chat Noir had been tasked with getting all the hard copies of anything Miraculous related from inside the mansion along with Bruce as they had wanted to spare Adrian from having to fight his father and they hadn't wanted to risk the hulk becoming Akuma bait.

The fallout all over Paris with Hawkmoth gone was interesting, to say the least. The government had to hire extra psychologists to deal with everyone trying to get used to being able to show their emotions again without fear, yet not knowing how due to having to keep everything suppressed for years. It became a common sight to see adults floundering to situations that they should have normally been able to handle. The mayor had been outed as had several police officials for corruption, new people had been brought in to help and the UN had offered to help out the same way they normally would in war-torn countries in order to help Paris recover.

By the time term had ended she had been glad to get away from her classmates and go on tour with Jagged. She had taken the miracle box with her but had sent all the scrolls and books with Tony to be stored in her room at the Avengers tower. They were in one of her lock boxes for now but she knew they needed to get everything away from Paris as a precaution.

The month she spent travelling was liberating in Marinette's opinion. Sure she had checked every new area for any lost miraculi as Tikki had advised her to but she had also taken the chance to observe what worked the best design-wise for stage vs videos and even event situations. This had led to several wardrobe additions for Jagged and Penny as well as for herself when she found herself dragged on stage to either help translate what Jagged was saying or to sing with him after he caught her singing Halestorm's Amen while she was working on his next stage outfit. The first time he had pulled her on stage for a duet, it had been an instant sensation and from then on it became a regular thing for his concerts. She always insisted on a mask though, she had destroyed her Hydra records but she'd rather err on the side of caution, just in case!

Once her month with Jagged was up she'd headed to New York and met up with the Avengers and with Adrian, who had taken to living in the tower like a duck to water. She had been surprised to find that Tony had given her a whole floor, rather than just a room but apparently each of the Avengers had their own floor too so she just shrugged it off. She had jumped back into her normal training routine now that she wasn't travelling and had enjoyed those first few spars against her parents immensely. It was during one of the no-holds-barred all-out two on one spars they held every so often that Adrian had walked in and been stunned by how fast and hard they were fighting. When they had called an end to it he'd asked how much she had been holding back during their time as Ladybug and Chat Noir. His disappointment when she said that she hadn't used 90% of her skills had almost been tangible but he had understood why she'd done it after she'd explained her reasoning.

They had settled into a sort of sibling relationship soon after that as she tried to teach him moves that would work for him and he tried to learn how to cook from her. It had gotten to the stage that they were banned from the main kitchens due to the number of flour fights they'd had. Somehow they had ended up making sure they had a least one day a week set aside for anime and they had worked their way through SAO, Akagami no Shirayukihime, Seiken-Tsukai-no-World-Break and Isekai Cheat Magician within a week before they decided they needed to slow down. The only downside to watching Anime was that Marinette had picked up the language to the point she no longer needed the subtitles and he still needed them much to his disgust. Especially as she hadn't known any Japanese at all when they started.

She had been at the tower for three weeks when she met Peter Parker for the first time. She had just finished her work out and was leaving the gym area when he'd arrived and had been highly annoyed with Tony, thinking he'd adopted her like Tony kept trying to do with him. She'd laughed but hadn't corrected him and simply carried on her way. The second time they met was when she'd made breakfast for everyone as it had been her turn to do so as one of the few who could without burning down the kitchen. They'd spoke for a while this time and found they enjoyed each other's company. By the time her summer had ended they had become close friends and she was looking forward to seeing if any more would happen. She'd had to go back to Paris for the new school year but Adrian had decided to enrol in a school in NY instead of going back to Paris as he had too many bad memories there. Marinette didn't blame him at all for that.

School hadn't changed all that much when she returned for the new term. There were the same faces, the same subjects even though they had new topics within them and for the most part there were the same teachers. She hadn't held back as much as she had in previous years, blaming her time at the tower for her slightly more advanced knowledge. She was still bored though and although she had missed Tom and Sabine when she had been away from them she had looked forward to coming back to America again. Especially as things with Peter seemed to be getting more interesting.

Marinette was startled out of her memories by several of the Avengers walking into the room.

“All good there malen'kaya oshibka?” Bucky asked. (Little bug) “Yeah, I'm alright zhuzhzhaniye.” She replied (buzz kill) “Just thinking about how crazy everything has been since you all dropped into my life.” “You wouldn't change it for the world and you know it Bug,” Adrian said even as he settled on the floor in front of her. “True,” she admitted quietly “I'm just glad I have somewhere I can be me, you know what I mean?” Adrian nodded as did most of the Avengers. “Enough with the heavy thoughts, people. It's Christmas! That means presents and getting drunk and possibly eating too much!” Tony said effectively interrupting her thought process again. Jarvis changed the song to 'December Song' and by seemingly mutual agreement the ones sitting closest to the tree started to pass round the presents that had amassed underneath it. The rest of the day was spent enjoying their time together and living in the present. They knew that should anything threaten any of them, they would face it together.

*(Kuma Lisa is a fox from Bulgarian folklore and Russian folklore who usually plays the role of the trickster. Kuma Lisa is encountered with another character known as Kumcho Vulcho - a wolf which is opposite to her and very often suffers from her tricks.)

@northernbluetongue; @liamnl; @vivilakitty

#au bio dad for marinette #avengers #miraculous ladybug #au bio mom for marinette

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goldandbluesmiles · 4 years

Text

Joker’s Killer

Chapter 2: A Father’s Rage and it’s aftermath

Summary: In the end, it’s not Batman that kills the Joker. It’s Bruce Wayne.

May 29, 1:19: Bruce Wayne walked into Arkham undetected by any security cameras or guards

May 29, 1:25: Bruce Wayne entered Joker's cell.

May 29, 1:35: A guard realized that the hysterical laughter and gurgling from the clown's cell weren't just for show.

May 29, 1:37: Bruce Wayne was found standing over Joker's body with a steel bar in his hand, Joker's head bashed in.

XXX

Note: This is an A/B/O fic though the only tropes that are focused on are the protective omega parent and bonding.

TW: Non-consensual bonding (It’s an a/b/o fic)

Ao3

Chapter 1

XXX

Joker bit Jason.

Joker bit his boy, his pup.

That monster hurt his son. Again.

Red Rage rose up inside of him.

The monster will never hurt his baby again. The Omega would make sure of it.

His baby would be safe from now on.

The drive took twenty-one minutes and forty-three seconds.

The omega knew how to get around the cameras and guards. Enter from the supply chute, count the seconds between the camera rotations, walk when the guards turn the corner.

The cell was easy enough to get into, he knew the code after all. Make sure the alarms didn't go off. Make sure they click back into place.

The monster greeted him with a smile and a laugh, the pale face twisting in unnatural ways.

The Omega took out the steel bar he had in his sleeve. The joker look at it and laughed mockingly. The omega picked it up and broke the monster's hands first and then his legs. He then moved on to the jaw. The monster was still laughing, the sound coming out in gurgles and gasps.

The monster's head was bashed in next, the blood and bone flying all over the place, the sound of laughing finally started to die down as the door of the cell opened. There were arms holding the Omega back and keeping him down, but he didn't care.

The Red Rage subsided and was replaced with an empty calm.

The monster was gone.

His baby was would be safe now.

XXX

May 29, 1:19: Bruce Wayne walked into Arkham undetected by any security cameras or guards

May 29, 1:25: Bruce Wayne entered Joker's cell.

May 29, 1:35: A guard realized that the hysterical laughter and gurgling from the clown's cell weren't just for show.

May 29, 1:37: Bruce Wayne was found standing over Joker's body with a steel bar in his hand, Joker's head bashed in.

XXX

Detective J. Morales and E. Rosario were the ones to go down and get the report on Bruce Wayne's bloodwork.

"So what's the verdict doc?" asked Julia, "What drove our dear billionaire bonkers?"

"Please, Julia," sighed Estella, older and a little more polite than her younger partner

"What? I'm just saying," said Julia

The ME, Ethan, turned to them with a grim smile.

"There were no drugs," said Ethan, "His hormones spiked first and then stayed that way for a while but then they came down when-"

"And this is where we remind you that not all of us went to med school," said Julia

Ethan smiled, "Right. Uh...it's a little unprecedented. You know the two defences of when omegas take the defence of themselves or their pack?"

"Sure," said Estela, "The first one is where they go 'up' and they go into a rage protecting their pups and sometimes packs, constitutes as temporary insanity,"

"I mean it would make sense," said Julia, "We all know what happened with the Joker and Jason the first time,"

At that, the mood in the room dimmed even more. Jason Todd's disappearance and return might not be the hot topic of the headlines anymore but any person with a half a mind knew that the consequences of it would stay with the family. And with the realization that Joker had hurt Jason again, bitten him, well...who could blame a parent?

"The other one is when they 'retreat' into themselves," said Ethan, "Don't really realize what they're doing and go on autopilot, It's less common but it happens,"

"I've seen it before," said Estella, "Woman got a year's probation and mandatory therapy for running over a guy while driving away from an abusive partner. She was taking the fastest route on autopilot to her mom's house. Poor thing just wanted the baby in the backseat safe,"

"So which one is it here?" asked Julia

"That's where it gets weird," said Ethan, "His hormones are very low now, dangerously low, indicating that he's not all there-"

"So the second one," said Julia

"That's the thing," said Ethan, "We have other indicators that show if someone was recently in a charged state and they're all there,"

"So...?" said Estella

"As we know, the Joker but Jason and Bruce didn't find out until about half-an-hour before he killed the Joker. My assumption is that he got charged, did the deed, once he realized that his pup was 'safe', he retreated into himself,"

"Why?" wondered Julia

"I can't be sure but there are so many things different from the usual cases. For one Jason is an adult but on the other hand, we know what kind of life that kid had so it's pretty understandable that his parent jumped into defence mode. As for the 'retreat', Bruce is a public figure, this might be his mind's way of protecting his pack from the vultures but again that's just speculation,"

"There's no point in assuming things," said Estella, "What do you have to say that we can relay?"

"Officially, this man does not have the capacity to stand trial from a biological standpoint, you should ask a psychologist but I believe they will say the same thing. This man also needs medical care,"

"You said officially," said Julia, "What about unofficially?"

Ethan took a deep breath, "It would be a little early for me to say it and might interfere with the case but this man might need long-term care. Gotham might have to say goodbye to her oldest hero,"

A dark stillness settled in the room. While Gotham's public might speculate, among the police force, the justice system and everybody in between, the identities of Gotham's vigilante family were an open secret.

"May they rest," murmured Julia. She didn't say who, nobody ever said it out loud but the idea, the thought, was there.

May they rest, Gotham's original legend.

XXX

The press conference was held at 10:00 AM the second day after Joker's death.

The day before had been spent by the Wayne siblings, along with Jason's pack, huddled in their nest, barely leaving, eating, sleeping and cuddling under the mountain of blankets. Their pack, the ones less affected, and their friends had taken up their mantles for two nights. Superman had been called in, a few of the arrows, the birds of prey had taken the night and Bluebird had also stayed out, giving Bruce's kids the time they needed. Barbara made sure to coordinate them efficiently. Martha Kent and Diana watched over the family, making sure Alfred spent time with his grandchildren, and not working himself to the bone in the kitchen.

Early on the day of the press conference, Alfred took his second grandchild aside and quietly spoken with him.

"You don't have to do this, my boy," he told Jason, "No one will blame you for waiting to do this or not doing it at all. Someone else can handle it. We could even do a private interview with friends in the profession if you are really intent on telling your story,"

"No," whispered Jason, "They will still speculate. I want this to be done as open as possible and then put a cork in it. This way they can't come up with their own ideas,"

"If you're sure," said Alfred

Jason nodded and Alfred gently hugged him close, wishing with everything inside of him that his own son was here to comfort his child. Instead, he was lying in a hospital bed under guard, waiting for the courts to decide his fate.

The press conference was held in a room on the WE building to be able to keep some control over the event and to keep Jason at ease. The commissioner was also present to carry on the conference once the siblings were done.

Dick was the one who went up first, introducing them as his five siblings, Kate, Selina and Alfred stood behind him.

"We are here today, not to talk about the incident but to give you context as to what lead to the incident happening. We want to clear any misconceptions and make sure the public knows that the Wayne family is handling this situation with the utmost decorum,"

"That said, most of this story will be told by my brother Jason, and it will be a difficult experience. If you could please listen first and keep your questions until the end,"

Dick backed away and gave Jason's shoulder a squeeze as the other man stepped up.

"Good Morning Gotham," said Jason, "As you know, due to previous stories, that I was kept from my family for some time during my teen years and that the fault was with the Joker. That story had been told many times, and I will not repeat it. I would instead like to talk about what happened three weeks ago, the last time Joker escaped,"

"The Joker captured me along with 16 other hostages that were in that store with me when he came in. We do not know if he had found me by chance or if e was looking to trap me somewhere and plays some more. About ten minutes into the situation, he took me to the backroom and-

Jason stuttered there, a lump forming in his throat. Still, he swallowed and continued.

"He-um- he took me to- to the back room and told me he was going to...that he was going to-to bite me."

There was a murmur around the room but died again as Jason continued.

"After giving me the bite, he insisted that I," deep breath, "that I bite him too,"

This time when Jason stopped the silence was deafening, no one had the heart or the presence of mind to say anything.

"A you can imagine, my first reaction was to refuse but he threatened the other hostages and to prove a point, went out and shot one of the women in the leg. He also kept physically assaulting me as he told me what he would do to the rest of the hostages if I refused. I finally agreed to the bite and Batman came around five minutes later. I was able to go home to a private doctor and due to confidentiality was able to keep the bite from my family. On the day of the Joker's death, I was having lunch with my father when he spotted it. One thing led to another, and I ended up telling him where it came from. He got quiet and left me at the table. Not understanding what had happened, I let him go and went back to my place where one of my friends was also keeping me company. I didn't know about Joker's death until I saw the news that evening,"

Jason took a small breath after that.

"And now we are here," said Jason, "Are there any questions? Yes?"

"Why did you not tell your family immediately?"

"As you can imagine I was in shock and felt violated and since they could not do anything about it, I didn't think it necessary to let them know. Next? Yes?"

"Why not follow your father after he left you at lunch? Did you not think his behaviour was a little odd?"

"It is not odd for my father to walk away from a conversation, when upset, to calm down. I really didn't think anything so drastic would happen. I just wanted to get home,"

"Can you comment on anything pertaining to the investigation? About the mental state of the accused?"

Commissioner Gordon could see Jason's composure slipping and stepped up.

"Due to the time available, I think it is time that I took over. I can answer any questions you have on the investigation this far,"

No longer finding any reason to hold back due to the fragile mental state of one of Gotham's prominent omegas, the crowd of reporters burst forth with questions.

Jason didn't pay them any mind. Instead, he let Dick and Alfred lead him out of there as his siblings followed. Through the back of the room, Roy and Kori were waiting and they instantly took him in their arms.

"You okay, Jaybird?" murmured Roy

Jason just pressed his face into his shoulder and whimpered.

"Let's get you home," said Dick, laying a hand on his back

Yes. Home. That sounded nice.

He nodded and they carefully started to move away to the exit.

Behind them, Gordon was still talking to the press, explaining to them what he could. In the coming days, there would be more of these as Gordon gave more to the waiting public but Jason wasn't going to have anything to do with those.

Slowly, his family would help him heal from these scars too. And they would heal from the aftermath of them.

#Jason Todd #bruce wayne #batman #omega bruce wayne #omega jason todd #abo dynamics

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