Yan! Crossdresser
(First Official Post)
Yan! Crossdresser that only dressed up for fun or because he was bored. Then he sees you, he tries to approach you in his usual clothes, but you don’t even look at him. (maybe you have an aversion to men, maybe you get along better with girls, or maybe you just don’t like men.)
Yan! Crossdresser who, after seeing your reaction to his ‘normal appearance’, decides to approach you dressed as a woman. (He’s even wearing a dress in your favorite color)
It’s a bit awkward at first, it always is when you meet new people, but it’s especially awkward when the person you’re meeting is such a beautiful woman. This new person says her name is Alex, you shake her hand in a nervous manner (ignorant to the flush that graces her face) and then the two of you are hitting it off. It’s almost like Alex knows everything about you.
Yan! Crossdresser who just couldn’t believe it worked so easily, he expected you to be somewhat reluctant to meet new people. But you weren’t, you were so friendly and kind (that’s what he likes about you), but you’re just so oblivious. (He can’t believe how lucky he is that you aren’t the least hit suspicious about all the information he knows about you)
Yan! Crossdresser who goes out of his way to wear your favorite colors, to dress as your ideal partner. (No matter how irritating how those ribbons on his dress were, don’t even get him started on the hours he spends on his makeup)
Yan! Crossdresser who goes shopping with you, spending hours picking out the perfect outfit for you (maybe some of them are a size too small, just so he can help you put them on)
Yan! Crossdresser that goes out of his way to seduce the ones that are interested in you, despite how much he despises them, only to promptly get rid of them (probably hiding those love rivals in his basement)
Yan! Crossdresser who painstakingly prepares the perfect date to ask you out, he contemplates telling you who he truly is, but then he chickens out (he’s worried you might not like him if you knew the truth)
Yan! Crossdresser who decides to continue this facade of being a woman, cutting off those from his past, those who would recognize him. (He barely even talks to his family anymore)
Yan! Crossdresser who becomes flustered once you express the worry you feel after seeing how distant he’s become to the ones he used to consider friends.
Yan! Crossdresser who has to resist the urge to shower you in kisses when you hold him close and tell him that you’ll be here for you, that if he’s going through trouble with his friends (and family) you’ll be here for him.
His heart begins to beat ferociously the moment you embrace him, his face flushes an embarrassing amount and he almost squeals when you run a hand through his hair, trying to comfort him.
He cautiously embraces you, his arms winding around your waist and he buries his face in your chest.
(You’re mildly uncomfortable, but you’re trying to be a good friend, and Alex doesn’t mean any harm. At least, you don’t think she does, but sometimes Alex’s behavior if suspicious.)
He feels lightheaded (probably all that blood rushing to his face) and he never wants to let you go.
Yan! Crossdresser who decides to drag out this facade for just a bit longer, he’ll tell you the truth one day, just not any day soon.
(Alright, here’s my first official post, I’m not very proud of this post, but hey, I’m a beginner and there’s always room for improvement!)
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Bring It All Back (Part 4/4)
~A Tone Poem on Returning to the Status Quo~
Warning: IMAGE-HEAVY. A Webtoons-style vertical scroll comic using rearranged and recontextualized panels from My Hero Academia.
Deku keeps saying he'll bring everything back to normal. My god, doesn't he know?
(Part One)
(Part Two)
(Part Three)
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Closing Thoughts:
o Even if AFO orchestrated Shigaraki's entire life, that doesn't change all the rest of this.
o Didn't use much of AFO, Harima, the MLA, and other historical stuff because the piece is supposed to be mainly about the problems in the here and now. The older problems linger, certainly, but I tried to only use the history angle when it was relevant to current problems, chiefly the immense suffering that motivated the hospital attack and the HPSC's willingness to circumvent the law in the name of the illusion of peace and stability.
o Thank you to my Translator Sis for her invaluable help in me learning how to use Medibang on the fly.
o Thank you to @codenamesazanka for the same as above and also for providing a number of scans for this piece.
o Thank you to my dear partner for the use of his enormous monitor, which allowed me to catch some transparency errors that otherwise would have gone unnoticed, and also for the shoulder massages and loving insistence that I take a few days off from this when my arm went on strike two weeks in.
o Thank you to everyone else for reading!
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dead since the beginning
This is my fill for whumptober 2022 day 6. I'm using the prompt 'screams from across the hall'. It's about 3 of my OCs: Eris, James, and Selene. Please send me a message if you want to ask about them!
“It’s just, uh, it’s just her screams.”
Eris sat hunched in the corner of their cell, knees pulled tight to her chest. Her breath hitched with stolen pain, pulled echoing through the bond that connected her like a lifeline to the source of the sound, but she laughed, “She’s always been far too good an actor for me.”
They had tried to explain that bond to him once, a bunch of technical jargon burying something too profound to be described to someone like him–it had been like trying to parse a translated text; the words were all there, but some spark of emotional meaning had clearly been lost.
He hadn’t missed all of it, though. Eris, as the anchor between the twins, had a certain amount of control over the bond, over what was shared, what was taken: emotions, physical sensations, pain. She could push or pull or amplify or block any of those–to an extent, but not without certain drawbacks.
On the surface it seemed great; Eris was able to feel things about the twins–when they were awake, when Selene was dehydrated and when Janus was headed towards sensory overload–and they, in turn, shared some magical knowledge of her–though mostly Selene just complained of being woken up too early when Eris’ heart rate rose on her pre-dawn runs.
In a situation like this, however, all it did was allow her to feel, as well as hear, her best friend’s pain.
He wanted to reach out and touch her, wanted to provide some little source of comfort, stability, but… he wasn’t exactly stable himself right now. This was his first time in any situation even mildly like this, and it was not going particularly well. He would probably do more harm than good. He curled into a tighter ball in the corner, ropes cinched uncomfortably around his wrists and ankles, and listened to the screams from across the hall.
Eris curbed her mirthless laughter once it turned into sobbing.
They sat uncomfortably in almost-silence for what seemed like hours. He tried to focus on anything other than the sound of the screams, anything but the sound of Eris’ breaths coming in faster and harsher, anything else but that twisted knot in the corner that she was slowly becoming. It didn’t work.
The more time passed, the worse it seemed to get.
Not the screams–they had been consistent from the beginning. Consistently awful, but consistent, and certainly no worse for James to listen to than it was for Eris. Whatever resilience she had built up over the years to this sort of thing was entirely negated by the fact that her best friend and surrogate sister was the one screaming. And that any pain Selene should be feeling was actually running through her.
No, it was the pain that seemed to be getting worse. Or she was getting worse at hiding it. Or both. The idea that she felt the need to hide it from him made something in his gut twist uncomfortably.
“You don’t have to hide from me, you know,” he said softly.
She laughed before another spike of pain hit and it turned into a groan. He wondered what they were doing to Selene to make her feel like this, and wondered exactly how much of her pain Eris was taking. All of it, probably. He hoped there wasn’t more than this.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” she ground out from between her teeth, “I’m not suppressing my reactions to make you feel better. If I was hiding it from you, you wouldn’t even know I was in pain. I’m doing it ‘cause… because if I react properly to the pain it’ll start taking over.
“I’ve got to concentrate to make sure she only sounds like she’s in pain. And I can’t let her actually feel all this just because I can’t hold it together.”
James didn’t really know if he was concerned or confused or awed at what Eris had said, but it was clear that talking was another thing she didn’t need to concentrate on. They lapsed again into silence.
But after a while, alongside that sickening feeling in his stomach and itching pain in his wrists, came a slow and creeping and inevitable boredom. He supposed that this must be better than whatever was happening to Selene to make her sound like that. Although, from what Eris had said about acting, maybe it wasn’t too bad? Even if it was, he decided he was going to pretend, just for now, while he could, that it was really okay, everyone was fine, this was all just an elaborate scene and they were all just actors.
Those screams could just be lines of a script if he believed hard enough.
“” “” “” “” “” “”
“I’m not supposed to take more than half of their pain,” Eris said out of the silence, writhing, voice cracked with pain, “two-thirds if I force half of that onto the one who isn’t hurting. I can’t give them pain. I can’t give them… And sitting there while they are hurting is as bad as giving them… as bad for me as giving it to them in the first place.
“Those screams… she’s not in all that much pain right now, I know she’s not, I’m taking it.” She laughed, a hollow, bitter sound, “I just can’t help myself. Not while she sounds like that. Not while there is something I can do to make it stop.”
And wasn’t that a horrible truth. One of his friends sounded like she was in pain and the other actually was. The screams stopped abruptly.
The silence hurt to listen to.
“I can’t do this, Eris,” James said carefully, “I can’t sit here and watch you like this, listen to her like this. Just… please, tell me what to do?”
“Tell you what to do?” she laughed almost hysterically, and a shiver ran through her, aftershocks of borrowed pain, “I don’t know what to do. I never know what to do, James, I’m making all of this up as I go along! I want to scream and cry and curl up in a ball and never get up! And you want me to tell you what to do?” She deflated after her outburst, knocking her head back against the wall.
She curled into a ball, just as she had said she wanted to, and screamed a hoarse and haunted scream. But as suddenly as she had started she stopped, sitting straight again, breathing slowly.
Nodding, she said, “Yeah, I really should be telling you what to do, huh? Or at least telling you it's alright or something.” She blew out a breath and stood up, twisting her wrists against the rope restraints.
“Right,” she said, “Let’s get out of here.”
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