Tumgik
#and so then id have to really prepare myself for that
Text
me, every night for the past three weeks: oh im feelin good rn! and i had a good day today!! im definitely not gonna lie awake filled with anxiety and dread over my future tonight :D
me, lying in bed 20 minutes later looping famous last words: by talos this cant be happening
#its like im fine literally all day qnd then i start to get ready for bed and the Dread sets in#like its an actual physical feeling in my stomach and i just suddenly out of nowhere have to hold myself back from crying#i literally go from perfectly happy to on the verge of tears in an INSTANT and idk whats causing uty#it#like i know broadly ehat the causes are but idk whats causing the specific switch at night#am i tired?? is it just bc im tired??? bc its not consistently at the same time and most of the time i dont *feel* tired#or is it just like. i knoe im going to bed so i know im gonna be alone with my thoughts and so they all come and hit me at once???#idk idk idk i just know i hate it and i want it to stop i want everything to fucking stop#id say i need a minute to breathe but really ive been using the past four months as my minute to breathe & thats part of the fucking problem#because ive been putting this all off for so long bc its so overwhelming but now theres so much igotta do and theres real tangible deadlines#so i cant keep putting it off but i DO and its just making it all even more overwhelming and my parents arent fucking helping#but its not even their fault because im chosing not to talk to them about this bc talking to them about it makes it all real#and i dont want it to be real yet im not fucking ready for it to be real yet i just need a goddamn minute TO FUCKING BREATHE#i wish i could freeze time and just give myself a day where none of this matters#actually a days not long enough i think i need like. two weeks. two weeks for me to get my shit together where none of this bullshit exists#and i can just do whatever i want and not have to think about deadlines and decisions and the fact that this is all ive wanted since the#7th fucking grade and now that its actually here i cant fucking stomach the thought of it being real because im a goddamn coward who cant#fucking commit to anything or get themself to DO anything and i know its not really my fault bc i probably have adhd and i get#knocked off my ass with a migraine every ither fucking day but i still feel like i should be more prepared for this than i am#and im not prepared and im not ready and i cant get myself ready because i cant do things like this myself because i dont really want to be#doing them at all#like sure! the bitch can write a 400+ page fanfiction no fucking problem!! they can find time for that but a college essay?? even finding#schools to apply too???? dont be fucking ridiculous they cant even get half an app done in the time it takes them to write a two 6k chapters#delete later
12 notes · View notes
sydmarch · 1 year
Text
spent months like I need prescription for my mental health give me prescription please please & now that I have it I'm like hm. do I want to have to take meds, actually
#part of it i think is just that typical anxiety that comes before any life change like s new job or whatever but also like#despite never having TRIED stimulants im familar w them i know people w adhd who are on them i had an idea of what to expect & thats what i#i figured id be getting but shes having me try this non stimulant option first bcus 1 apparently its good for people who also have anxiety#and 2 easier to get w the like Adderall shortages & shit rn#& im like ok i have NEVER heard of this drug before and didn't even know there WERE non stimulant options options.#like im doing all my research TODAY for the first time then pick it up tomorrow?#like me heslth anxiety girl just has to be like ok sure i guess. i had mentally prepared myself for stimulants & thats it!!!#i mean worst case i just try it & see if it works or if i have side effects but like. ugh. & i dont like that i dont like my np LOL like id#probably feel less uncertain about trying something i was previously unfamiliar with if she was someone i liked & trusted more#if i knew there were unfamilar drugs they might recommend to me i probably wouldve started over & found someone new to work with. AGHHH & i#didnt discuss any of this w her bcus it took me a couple hours after our session to think abt it & do my own reading & process my emotions#to really come to thia conclusion. & also i wouldnt have wanted to talk to hwt abt this anyway bcus i dont like her & have not felt at all#like cool w opening up to her beyond the minimum i had to do for the assessment#& my therapist is sick this week so im not gonna get to talk to her tomorrow!@#texticles#anyway i know ive got fellow adhd bitches following me. anyone try guanfacine did you like it or nah
20 notes · View notes
brightokyolights · 2 months
Text
.
5 notes · View notes
prestonmonterey · 2 months
Text
aughhhhhhh i dont have the energy to exist
at least im
done with makeup
that was stressful
ummm yea i got deadnamed during a fire (drill? im not sure it wasnt planned but also they said it was a drill? ppl think someone mighta pulled the alarm....) and i was. not super happy about that.
also the girl who argued with me about therians gave me a note apologizing i dont know what to do with that?? im not used to people apologizing to me TwT also idk shes fine i guess but not really the kind of person id become friends with...
5 notes · View notes
transphilza · 2 years
Text
tis missin techno hours it seems
#cw grief#vent in tags#man i started watching breakin bad for the first time recently w my gf and like great show#but boy was i not prepared for all the cancer stuff. we had to stop watching one night because of how hard it was for me to watch#its just so hard to think about him going through that. like obviously#thats why the dedication by the sfa still hurts to even think about#and thinking about it all it makes sense to me why he never told us how bad it really was#i was. already so so worried about him all the time especially those last few months#even though he never gave us any reason to believe it was getting worse or anythin like that#so i cant imagine how badly id have been worrying if id known the extent of it all back then#and im grateful in a way for it. cause it gave me the chance during that last year we had him to really just love and appreciate#i just watched and rewatched vods and videos and i was so happy and so grateful to have him around.. im still grateful. cause hes not gone#i think he wanted it to be like that? i think he didnt want anyone mourning him before he left#dunno im just missing him and thinking of him as i often do. its just one of those Its All Painfully Real Lol moments#i sometimes have legitimate fleeting thoughts where im like. so. im gonna wake up tomorrow and someones gonna have created a cure for death#and hes gonna be back right. or like. for half a second my brain goes Cool so when does he come back?#its real strange#i think about his friends and family alot i find myself wondering if it hurts so bad for me then how are they even getting by?#but grief is always grief and grieving people are grieving people so maybe we arent as different as i think#yknow#whenever theres a meetup or something like that theres always this awful ache. this ringing in my ears#and it says. like. christ this is hard to type out.#it says ‘techno never got to do this’… or ‘sbi never got to do this’…#and its not a sentiment of jealousy or anger or even envy…. just grief#it’s just pure pure grief it’s just loss and it makes the whole world feel hollow#but i suppose that’s just the world without him.? everything echoes louder than it should#it seriously makes me feel sick when i think about that. augh. last hope we all had for an sbi meetup at vidcon#and how phil said they asked but techno. said he wouldnt make it that long basically. i think about that too much#i wont ever remember that vidcon as anything but the last few days of bliss before we found out#gonna rewatch some of his videos and sleep now. hearing his voice always makes me smile ❤️ goodnight
29 notes · View notes
poptartmochi · 9 months
Text
however.. it's not just blorbo thoughts that haunt me with that song... it's teacher thoughts too! 🤯
#for the past few months I've been going back and forth about whether i want to teach middle or high school#and this is nowhere near a deciding factor#BUT... consider the following with me.. performing one version as a mass piece at the beginning of the year with the full choir and then.#🤌🏻#at the end of the year doing the other with just the seniors because they have become the old man who will never again pass this way 😭#i feel like dickau's would be better as a mass piece because of it's more relaxed rhythms. the chords sound fuller than macdonald's which#would probably sound nicer with all hands on deck! and then macdonald's more rhythmically challenging arrangement would be cool for the#seniors 😁 but this is to my untrained and pretty rusty ear so 🕴️ we'll see how i feel when i go back to school#another idea I've entertained is giving each class a like. Challenge Song their freshman year and recording it‚ then reprising it their#senior year and letting them compare their performances to reflect their growth as musicians.. i think that would be really cool :]#i dont think i could conduct the bridge builder with that in mind though.. id start crying lol! but i think it is fundamental as a choir#student to watch your director cry in the middle of a song+ continue on as if nothing was happening#but anyhow idk man.. the idea of working with high schoolers to really build up their musicality and prepare them for the world is very#appealing to me but you can't be a musician without the foundations which i could establish in middle school#and foundations are very fun to teach as well!! but foundations can be taught in a beginning choir course or during summer camp#so 😩#the music i want to direct is all satb which suits high school better. but is it selfish to choose which way to go based on what music you#like? 🕴️🕴️ the contemplations man.... anyhow i have a lot more growing and learning and Studying to do before this will even matter#can't prepare kids for the world when I've scarcely explored it myself!#sriracha.txt
2 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
Text
...
#srry to be all vent posts and no art but the stress is high rn#i feel a little better now. i forgot how much i love working with the culture collection#i go in when theres no one there and i just spend a few hours listening to podcasts as i move slime from tube to tube#it forces me to do one thing bc once i start i cant stop. i just like it a lot. i havent done for like the last 2 semesters bc we had the#money to pay a student to do it. and at the time i was in the thick of taking photosynthesis measures and it was causing me a lot of pain#and transfering was like the one lab task i liked to do so it felt like i was being punished. i could no longer do the thing most aligned#with my interests. and i just let it go bc in my brain im not allowed to do things that i enjoy. if i enjoy it its not hard enough.#so i just let it go. and let myself be crushed under the weight of things i don't enjoy and now here we r#a little light has returned to me#and its not all bad. i am looking forward to giving a lecture next week. i like communicating info to others and deciding what to talk abt#ill try to make it fun. if i have the time. and im looking forward to my meeting tomorrow morning. everyone ive met with so far does really#cool research. id be happy to wind up anywhere. but if i get into the big scary uk uni then i have to go there bc the project is so perfect#i dont dare get my hopes up. and tho my interview today wasnt the best i learned some really cool things by talking to the guy and im more#prepared moving forward.#however i did agree to make both my sisters sticker sheets for xmas and that is gonna take so much time i might die. so ya kno rip#but like i said. not all bad.#unrelated
11 notes · View notes
chatonyant · 1 year
Text
One day I'll find a good way to map out my stories to better plan them out, both in world-building ways and plot ways
Problem is is that when I physically begin to write them down I end up losing a lot of motivation behind it and sometimes just straight up forget I have it
Plus writing in notes is somehow different from slamming into a chat and monologuing about some ideas, which somehow gets the ideas flowing better?
But if I only brainstorm in my head, things get floaty since it's hard to keep track of everything at once without it in front of me and yet making it so that it's in front of me is so very hard lmao
Also just getting started on brainstorm is like a Russian roulette– will I have an idea that will snowball or will I go "im going to think about the importance of face paint today" and then immediately get distracted
5 notes · View notes
veinsfullofstars · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Daroach: *slaps roof of DMK* This bad boy can fit so much salt in- *is soundly punted into the sun by DMK*
(ID: Kirby series fanart comic of Daroach and Dark Meta Knight having a snack break and being silly, based off of this incorrect quote. Transcript below the cut. END ID.)
I told myself this would just be a quick sketch. Y'know. Like a liar. Anyway, thank you for the inspo, @incorrect-star-allies! (I hope you don't mind that I took some liberties with the quote. ^^' I can never resist adding some extra characterization, haha.)
Started 03/14/24, finished 03/15/24.
---
Transcript:
Panel 1
*DMK sits on the ground in his cape and armor, his mask tilted up to the top of his head as he prepares to take a bite out of a foil-wrapped burrito, one eye opened to glance towards our left. Daroach - holding up a container of strawberries in his paws - enters from our left and plops down beside the knight (SFX: POF).*
Daroach: Hey, sunshine! Whatcha eatin'? (Looks tasty!)
Panel 2
*DMK tilts his mask down as he chews, the burrito now turned to show a single bite taken out of it. Daroach turns his head to look slightly over the knight's shoulder, leaning heavily on one paw and idly digging into the container of strawberries set between his feet with the other.*
DMK: Eh, you wouldn't like it. It's really salty.
Panel 3
*Daroach turns back to lift a strawberry towards his open mouth, smiling smugly with his eyes shut and brows high.*
Daroach: Heh, y'sure about that? After all, I like you, don't I?
*DMK turns to squint at the thief through the visor of his mask, red lines of irritation shooting off from him in little zigzags.*
257 notes · View notes
gaysindistress · 6 months
Note
Hey my sweet sweetheart 😘 so I'm currently sitting in the dark as the power in the whole town went down and Id have the wish to have Bucky here with me. So there's maybe this idea where they have also no power at the compound and the reader sneaks her way into Bucks room cause she doesn't want to be alone and he prepares everything with candles and blankets to have all comfy so that he can cuddle you all night 🥺 aw this makes me crave him so bad 😞
Hey hey 💕
I tried to finish this yesterday but I got distracted when I got home. Anyways here it is! I hope you survived your power outage 😉
Tumblr media
The lights above flickered for a moment before all chaos descended upon me. The generators cry out as they shut off and even the air conditioning disappears too.
“Jarvis?” I hesitantly call for the AI that I hated at first but later thanked Tony for.
“Jarvis?” I call out again but there’s no reply.
I can hear others down the hall calling for him too but they too receive nothing. Vision waltzes through my wall and informs me that the power is out.
“Mr.Stark has yet to confirm when it will be back on. He asks that no one disturb him while he works to turn it back on,” he states before walking through my wall again.
I curse under my breath and flop myself onto my bed. I had been working on a mission report but seeing as the power is out and therefore the wifi, it doesn’t look like I’ll be doing anymore work.
Usually Tony is quick to get things up and running again however this new compound is significantly larger than Stark Tower. There may only be 3 stories to power however it spans across 15 acres, all of which contain various important power sources. I can only imagine how long it’ll take even with the help of Bruce and Peter (granted Peter may just get in the way but it’s the thought that counts.)
The reality of sitting alone in the dark for an indefinite amount of time starts to weigh on me and it’s been less than a minute. It’s not that I’m afraid of the dark, I’m just afraid of what’s IN the dark and being alone without a way to call for help isn’t where I want to be.
I slide out of bed, wrapped up in a blanket like it’s my armor and book it to the door. Popping my head out, I spot Wanda and Natasha walking towards me.
“We’re having a game night in the living room. You should come with us,” Wanda excitedly tells me but Natasha is quick to give me the answer I really want.
“He was in his room when we walked past,” she says with a faint smile.
“Thank you. Maybe next time,” I mumble to them as I dash past and towards his room.
When I come to stand in front of his door, I can’t find the courage to knock. I nervously shift on my feet as i hope the ceiling would come crashing down so i wouldn’t have to knock or survive this power outage. Voices float down the hall towards me and I know it’s now or never.
I gingerly knock, hoping that Bucky would hear and open the door before the voices see me.
The door cracks open and my savior looks at my wearily, “y/n?”
I wince at the harsh sound of his voice as the door cautiously swings open, allowing me a chance to slip in. I take it and tuck myself against the wall as Bucky turns to look at me.
“Come here,” he says in a gentler tone with his arms spread wide. When I don’t immediately take a step forward, he takes a cautious step towards me and waits. I almost knock him over from the force of me launching myself at him.
“Let’s get you into bed,” he whispers after pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
I barely nod in agreement and he’s gently pulling me towards his bed. Ever the gentlemen, he doesn’t try to remove my blanket and instead lifts his covers so I can curl into a ball under both layers.
He tucks his duvet around me before leaving and opening his closet. I can’t see what he’s doing but I can hear his gathering things and closing the door. Returning only minutes later to his position next my hunched form, he nudges my hip for me to move over. When I move, I can see that he’s lit several candles and placed them throughout the room. He doesn’t mention it as he crawls in next to me and wraps his arms around me.
“Thank you.”
“No need for that, doll. You know that.”
I move my head so I can look up at him and he does the same. I’ve always thought him to be the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen but the kindness and thoughtfulness of this moment confirms that. He is the epitome of beauty from his looks to his heart.
Bucky glances to my lips for a second and I do the same. It’s now or never.
We meet I n the middle, completely enthralled with each other and this moment. He closes the last few inches and captures my lips in a kiss. He shifts so that hes leaning over me as our lips move together, growing breathless. Pulling away, i smile at the man above me, delicate pieces of dark hair framing the face of this angel.
“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me” I murmur before my lips meet his once again. I feel him nod as our mouths part and his tongue slides against mine.
“And you are my light,” he murmurs back as we wrap ourselves up in each other.
296 notes · View notes
rebeccathenaturalist · 9 months
Note
hey there! fellow naturalist (albeit less experienced!) here! in regards to the AI-generated ID guides, do you have any advice for helping the general public learn to recognize them? are there any giveaways other than incorrect information a layperson might not pick up on that we can tell people to watch out for?
Hi, @fischotterkunst! It's a messy topic, to be sure, but here's what I've been seeing of these AI-generated texts, at least on Amazon:
--If you sort your search for "foraging book" or "mushroom hunting" or whatever search string you use by "Newest Arrivals", you'll notice that there is a glut of books that have come out in the past few weeks. Yes, there are always new books, but this is at a higher than normal rate, which suggests AI is behind at least some of them. There ARE occasionally real authors' books that just happened to come out recently, so don't dismiss every single book that is a fresh release. Use the other criteria below.
--They will invariably be self-published or from some publisher with zero online presence. Not a problem by itself; my own chapbooks are self-published on Amazon KDP. But they come out every three months, not every three days, because I am researching, writing, and editing them all myself, rather than churning out content with AI.
--The titles and subtitles are often very long and stuffed with keywords. They are obviously optimized for search engines rather than being descriptive of the book and they have a rather clunky fashion.
Tumblr media
--Look for obvious typos and other errors; for example, in the image above we have "WILD MUSHROOM COOKBOOK FOR BEGINNER: The complete guide on mushroom foraging and cooking with delicious recipes to enjoy your favorite". It should be "for beginners", and the subtitle just...ends prematurely. Favorite what? Favorite mushrooms? Favorite cartoon characters? Favorite color? Also, while there are lot of variations on name spellings, "Magaret" instead of "Margaret" stands out as a possible fake in combination with other clues. (All her other books also have this spelling, though.)
Tumblr media
--This is a BIG one: Who's the author? Check their bio. In the above image you'll see that "Jason Cones", the author of "The Wild Edible Plants Forager's Handbook: A Beginner's Guide to Safe Foraging, Including How to Identify Edible Plants, Learn About Their Medicinal Properties, and Prepare Them for Cooking", has a very generic picture and bio that has pretty obviously been generated by AI. If you search for him online, the only page for an author named Jason Cones is the Amazon author page--no website, no social media, no interviews, nada. Even a brand new author will at least have something other than their Amazon page, and they'll mention experience, credentials, other biographical info.
--Look at the author's other books. Magaret seems to focus on cookbooks of very specific sorts, but again they've all come out in a very short time. They also tend to often be on really super-specific niche subjects--this, again, is not a red flag in and of itself, but it's a common pattern with AI "authors". Jason Cones, on the other hand, has written over two dozen books not just about foraging but anger management techniques, acupressure, and weed gummies, and all of his titles have come out since last December.
Tumblr media
--If all the books have the same cover but slight differences in title, it's also a big red flag. There are reputable publishers of regional foraging guides like Timber Press, but their books are written by multiple authors and have come out over a long stretch of years (plus they're a well-known publisher with a solid track record, online presence, etc.) Also notice the typos in the title and subtitle; everyone says "Mushroom Foraging", not "Mushrooms Foraging", and "Keep Track Your Mushroom Sightings" is missing "of".
Tumblr media Tumblr media
--Compare the descriptions of multiples of these new books and you start seeing patterns. If you look at the images above, you'll notice that both Lorna K. Thompson's "Foraging Recipe Cookbook" and Kevin Page's "The Ultimate Foraging Guide for Seniors" have a very similar formulaic description. They start with a brief story about a person in a town or village who discovers some foraging secrets and then transforms his life, and then a list of things you're supposedly going to find in this seemingly miraculous book. This basically reads like "Hey, ChatGPT, tell me a story of a person who improved their life with foraging in two hundred words or less!" Also, the ends got cut off of my screen shot, but they both end with "GET YOUR COPY TODAY!"
I have not purchased any of these books to verify how awful the content is, but what little content I can see in the previews is uniformly formulaic and, again, reads like someone asked an AI to write content on a topic with some specific keywords thrown in. Needless to say, I do NOT recommend any of these books.
Also, I feel really bad for any actual authors who released their books in the past few months. They're likely getting drowned out by this AI junk, though hopefully they're getting enough attention for their work through their publishers, social media, etc. to get some sales. Support your real-life authors, and boycott AI!
Finally, PLEASE reblog this! It's really, really important that people know what to look for, and the more posts we have floating around with this info, the less likely it is someone's going to get poisoned by following what these books have to say.
575 notes · View notes
sublimecatgalaxy · 1 year
Note
AAAAAAAAA PEETA ENEMIES TO OOVERS AND THE “I really don’t like you” DIALOUGE OH MY LORDT IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH IM SO EXCITED AKRJSKFNMFH
I LOVE THIS!!
Tumblr media
"Did Effie give you the speech too?" Peeta asks as he enters the back of the train, his presence tugging an eyeroll from me and I mentally hit myself for not hiding in the bathroom instead- somewhere where he can't he can't be obnoxiously nice to me.
"About behaving?" I ask him, scooting over so he can sit next to me on the couch, folding my legs up into my chest as I hug them. "Yes."
"She told me I'm supposed to try to convince you to like me." Peeta says with a small smile and blushed cheeks and it almost makes me smile but I remember that I promised myself to choose to be annoyed by him so I would not inevitably fall in love with him.
But it's so damn hard.
"That's easier said than done." I scoff, looking out the window at all of the colored trees, trying to not make eye contact with him, knowing better than that and knowing that a blush would immediately rise up my neck and my cheeks would heat up.
"C'mon." He nudges me, electricity sparking under his touch and it sends goosebumps up my arm and down my spine. "I bet, deep down, you tolerate me more than you think." I give him a deadpanned look and a scoff, lying through my teeth with a shake of my head.
"I really don't like you." I mutter, glaring at him through my lashes as he laughs, shaking his head at my blatant lie.
"And I really don't believe you." He sighs, stretching his arm out on the couch behind me, leaning towards me a bit with a simple pat on my shoulder. "This whole tour will go ten times smoother if you just let go a bit."
"I just really don't want to be here." I breathe sincerely, finally meeting my gaze and I allow myself to slip into him for a moment, leaning into the way that his hand rests on my shoulder, soothingly rubbing circles into my skin.
"And it's not my fault that you are." His voice is stern and an example of his frustration towards my faux dislike towards him and I give him a soft smile, nodding my head in acknowledgment. Maybe I'll go easy on him this time. "I don't want to be here either."
"I know." I reach up to pat his hand that's sitting on my shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry, I get it." He shrugs and I laugh, feeling frustrated but also comforted tears rise to my eyes but I'm quick to blink them away.
"You're too nice." I scoff, watching him make his way to his feet, prepared to walk out of the room but he turns to me at the last second and he sends me a wink.
"Eh, it balances out your attitude."
"Peeta!"
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife
@officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @witxhy-lexx @minjix @luvroseee @tee-swizzle @savageneversaw @admiringlove @hysteriahall @piceous21 @starlightandfairies @igotmajordaddyissues @drewstarkey-wife1 @manyfandomsfanvergent @revesephemeres
2K notes · View notes
strwyofthesun · 11 months
Text
a workplace escapade
Tumblr media
pairing: id!leon kennedy x agent!(f)reader
synopsis: you work at the DSO and your days there have become increasingly mundane till you are assigned to a mission with Leon under the president's orders. and ever since then, tension grows between the two of you in your workplace.
word count: 2.4k
cont: smut, p in v, unprotected sex, masturbation, oral (m receiving), slight degrading, overstimulation, breeding (?)
a/n: it's like 5 am here and i have not had a blink of sleep. also, is it normal to feel hella embrassed when writing smut? can't take myself seriously i sweaaar. stream sntv too, i was inspired by i can see you to write this cuz shits jus so good.
reblogs, comments, reqs are highly appreciated! <3
The days in the headquarters of the Divisions of Security Operations have been getting more and more tiresome the longer you’ve been working. When you were newly employed, the job seemed exciting at first. Working alongside the best of the best agents from all across different branches of the US federal government, it was nice to have more company and see new faces. Over time though, the missions increased in difficulty and you’ve seen friends and colleagues come and go. You’ve tried your hardest not to become numb to everything but hid your emotions of anger and frustrations. On days where you weren’t on the front lines fighting, you were in stuffy, cold rooms reporting on what happened during your missions and relaying the information you have found. Your work-life balance was basically non-existent at this point, spending most of your time in and out the headquarters and if you’re lucky, you’d get to go home and relax for a while until you are called again for the next assignment.
Nothing gave you any thrill or excitement anymore. Everything had become a routine to you, until, under the president’s orders, you and agent Leon S. Kennedy are paired together for a mission. You left your comfort of your home immediately as soon as you were called and headed to the white house to meet the president and Leon.
Leon wasn’t exactly a new name or face to you. You’ve heard about his deeds and he does live up to the name he has made for himself. There has been a couple of instances where the two of you would bump into each other in hallways, but other than catching each other’s glances, there wasn’t anything more to say really. Though, you had to admit, other than being one of the president’s bets, he had looks that could kill as well. It’s hard to miss him whenever he’s around. His striking blue eyes, tall figure, long blonde hair, and that charming smile of his. If only your job had room for having more of a life, you’d have probably fooled around with Leon by now. But sadly, that isn’t the case.
You shortly arrived at the foot of the president’s office and you could hear him talking to who you assumed was Leon. Two of the president’s bodyguards opened the door for you and you let yourself in.
“Ah, speak of the devil, she’s here.” The president said while smiling at you. “I’m sure you are acquainted with one another, yes?” He asked while looking at the two of us.
“Yes, Mr. President but it’s our first time working together.” You responded.
“Oh? Is that so? I trust that my best agents will be fine.”
You got flustered at the president’s comment and hear Leon chuckle from the side, “We’re flattered sir.”
The president soon briefed the both of you on what needs to be done and the goals you must achieve. You and Leon nodded in agreement and the president patted the both of you on the shoulder with a look of pride painted on his face. “Make me proud my agents.”
The mission went according to plan and was successful. The following day, the both of you return to HQ and prepare to report what happened. You sported a white long sleeve button-up that has been rolled up and a black skirt that hugged your figure nicely. It wasn’t all the time you wore an outfit like that whenever you reported back, so not only were people congratulating you for the successful mission but at the same time, complimenting you on your outfit. You arrived rather early in the meeting room as it was only you and a couple associates in the room. Later, heads started turning once Leon stepped into the room. He was wearing a blue suit with a white button up underneath, looking jaw-dropping to say the least. The men and women in the room stood up to shake hands with him as you patiently waited for your turn. You stood up and walked up to him while he checked you out.
“Nice outfit. Suits you.” He said smiling at you.
You returned the smile and said, “I can say the same to you.”
The two of you head to the front and start recounting the events that have occurred. Whilst you were talking, you noticed Leon from the corner of your eye, looking at you. But it wasn’t just a simple look, you could see his eyes shine as he drowned in the sight of you. It was as though he was undressing you with his stare. One of the associates asked Leon a question but he didn’t respond due to him still having his gaze fixated on you. You turn to look at him directly and uttered a small “Hey” to catch his attention. He snapped out of his trance and apologized. Leon answered the question and for the rest of the meeting he really couldn’t keep his eyes of you.
Once the meeting was finished, you came up to him and jokingly asked, “Did I have something in my teeth? Why were you staring?”
“Oh, was I? I didn’t realize… I'm sorry." He apologized.
“No need to apologize. It’s okay Leon.” You reassured him.
He then gestured for the door and held it open for you. You thanked him and went parted ways for the day. When you weren't on a mission, you mostly spent your time on your desk from morning till night while occasionally running into Leon if he wasn't on a mission as well. You’d give each other an awkward smile and go about your business. This went on for about a week and over time, Leon was suddenly all you could think about every time you’re at work. Hopping that you’d bump into him somehow or see him around the halls. The thought of catching him staring at you excited you. It felt like there was this electrifying tension between the two of you.
You were done working together for a mission, but something told you that this wasn’t just the end for the both of you. Impure thoughts filled your head, distracting you from your job. You could tell that it wasn’t just you, and that’s what thrilled you the most. Knowing that you both want each other, yet held back. It made you long for him even more. The times you and Leon would talk to each other for work purposes, the two of you kept your composure and kept it professional when deep down you both needed the fulfill the urge to be on each other's bodies.
It was getting late at night already and you yawned from the exhaustion of a long day’s work. You rummage through your paper looking for a specific document when you remembered that you had left it in a meeting room. You sighed and sluggishly make your way to the meeting room, cussing yourself out for forgetting and now you’re working overtime. As you approach the door, you hear noises coming from the room. You thought it was odd that someone was still in there since the building was almost empty at that hour. Leaning into the door, you peaked through the glass and see Leon, touching himself. He moaned your name under his breath along with profanities. This took you by surprise. You leaned even closer on the door and ended up accidentally pushing it, making Leon jolt knowing that he’s been caught.
He quickly zips up his pants and walks up to door to see who was looking, when he was then met face to face with you.
“I-I left something inside the room…” You stuttered.
Leon just looked at you panting slightly, forehead glistening with sweat and the buttons of his shirt open just enough to see his bare chest. You excused yourself and went in the room and grabbing the document you left when all of the sudden, Leon pinned you to the wall, barely leaving any space between the two of you.
“Are you really just going to leave me here?” Leon asked .
“You seemed… busy.”
Leon let out a chuckle and leaned in close to your ear, “I know you heard me…” His breath making contact on your skin made you shudder.
“Maybe I can help you out..." You whispered back dropping the document to the floor and placing your hand on his chest, slowly moving down, palming his hard dick through his pants. Leon buried his face into your neck trying to stifle his moans. You undo his button, unzip his pants, and pull it down along with his boxers.
You bend down to kneel infront of Leon and level with his cock. You run your thumb over his tip making Leon's breath hitch. You let your tongue slide along his shaft tracing the veins on it. Slowly, you take in his dick in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down while your hand stroked the lower shaft. You licked his tip and left kisses on it, teasing Leon. You speed up the pace leaving Leon breathless, throwing his head back.
"Faster..." Leon panted.
"I can't hear you, Leon. Speak up."
"Faster... please..." Leon says louder this time. you granted his request and start pumping him faster. His mouth is agape as he starts heaving heavily. It turned you on knowing that you could make the Leon Kennedy like this. The thoughts of you and him together were coming to life, and this was barely scratching the surface of all the things you've imagined.
"Fuck, I'm gonna... cum..." he said trying to desperately get out the words from his mouth. You moved even more swiftly this time until Leon came onto your hand and before he could even ride it out, you started stroking his still hard and now sensitive dick.
"Wha- what the fuck are y-you doing?" He hissed.
You don't reply. You just look at him in his eyes while you pick up the pace catching Leon off guard.
Leon whined, "Please..."
"Please what?" you responded.
"S-Stop..." He managed to say.
"And why would I do that? You seem to be enjoying it." you smirk as you stroked his dick faster and faster.
Leon started to tremble a bit and his cock twitched in your hand. He groaned at how you were pumping his overstimulated cock, continuously moaning, filling up the room with his whines and groans. He was begging to you to stop but you didn't. You didn't stop until he came again. And when he did, you finally let him ride his climax down.
Once he settled down, he looked at you menacingly and you thought to yourself, if eyes could kill, you'd definitely be dead by now.
"Stand up. You think I'd let that shit slide?" he said as he heaved. You stood up as Leon grabbed you and turned you around, your back facing his. He pulled you closer, one arm wrapped around your torso while the other snaked its way down to your core. His hand unbuttoned your shirt, slid its way into your bra, and fondled with your boobs, leaving a moan escape your mouth. His other hand moved in tight circles around your clit, doubling the pleasure you were feeling at that moment. Leon pulled your skirt up and pulled your soaked panties down. He slipped his dick inbetween your thighs just right at the surface of your cunt. He thrusted back and forth making sure his dick isn't in you on purpose. He was teasing you and you were starting to become needy.
"Leon... put it in me..." you tried pleading with him.
"Beg for it." He responded, his lips curling into a smirk as he continued moving his dick through the folds of your slick cunt. "Please Leon... I need you in me." Hearing you beg for him, he gave into it and rammed his dick in your cunt leaving you and him gasping at the sudden movement.
"Leon what the fuck?!" you screamed. "I gave you what you wanted didn't I? Ungrateful bitch..." Although Leon was cussing you out, you didn't feel any sort of hatred or resentment towards him. In fact, it turned you on even more and Leon was catching up to it.
"You like it when I call you a bitch huh?" he asked as his hand moved from your boobs to your jaw, squeezing it.
He moved closer to your ear and whispered, "Or would you prefer if I called you a slut instead? Would you like that?" You nod your head in response.
"My, my, what a dirty little slut you are... I can't wait to fuck you like one." He said as he lets go of his grip on your jaw.
"I'll be your slut and yours only... Use me however you like. I'm at your disposal Leon." You said breathelessly.
"Oh I'll never dispose you. I'll make sure I fill you up with my cum like the fucking slut you are. So shut the fuck up and take it." Leon whispered as he started pounding hard into you leaving you in shambles. Whatever mess you left Leon in a while ago, you were now twice the mess he was.
Leon was fucking you in every spot you thought nobody could even fucking reach. He placed his hands on your hips and gripped it tightly as he pounded his cock deep into you. You were panting, breathing heavy, moaning, whining, all of the above.
"Good girl... You really are taking it like a slut. So fucking good for me."
Your walls tighten around Leon's cock, milking him off everything he had in him. You scream, "Le-Leon! F-Fuck I'm gonna cum!"
"That's right cum for me, princess." You came screaming his name but he didn't stop. "Leon! S-Stop please..." You begged.
"Why would I stop? I haven't even came yet." He said with a smirk plastered on his face. All your pleading went in his ear and out the other. He continued ramming into you while your eyes welled up with tears from the feelings of pleasure derived from pain. As much as it hurt, you didn't want it to stop either. Leon quickened his thrusts and grunted as he came, feeling his hot cum fill you.
"Take all that in." he moaned into your ear. As he was filling you with his seed, tears streamed down your face from the overstimulation. Leon pulled out and made you face him.
"Don't cry princess, isn't this what you wanted?" Leon said as he kissed the tears off your face. Trails of kisses from your cheeks led to your lips and the both of you share a long and passionate kiss before pulling away and fixing each other's clothes.
Maybe overtime wasn't so bad after all.
824 notes · View notes
lyss-butterscotch · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Happy New Year!!! Welcome to 2024!! I didnt prepare anything special jdjdjs so have this doodle of me with my fandoms in 2023
I know its super late but id still like to say somethings. Feel free to ignore whatevers down here sobs im mostly just reflecting on my year.
I wanna admit that this year hasnt been my best, be it artwise or stuff irl. I think i remember in the beginning of 2023 i was losing interest in the hk fandom before this and lost the will to really make art. But when i moved to tumblr and the rw fandom i was able to find the will and joy in drawing again. Its really is nice to be a part of a more interactive and alive community compared to whatever the hell is going on in instagram. Met alot of cool friends and people i look up to along the way, even if i am too much of a pussy to express that jdjdjjdjd but its nice to be here.
It helps especially when my college life hasnt been going well. I have issues with making or keeping friends especially when the first 2 years of college was spent online so i didnt really get to know people face to face. It didnt help also when approaching the end of my college year, all thats left is all my final papers that didnt require me to actually BE in college most of the week. It really impacted my will to really do art or college and i almost had to hold back my graduation because of it.
Right now i am in a better state, stuff has been dealt with and i am slowly gaining the will and joy to create. Because art is a major source of happiness for me and being able to actually be happy to draw things again will help immensely with my psyche when finishing college.
My new year resolution ig is i just want to be able to finish what i started. Be it college or art, i want to not procrasinate on things, not be late on stuff i wanna make art for, personally set goals for college, things like that. I would like to also take in easy on myself, i want to stop hating what i create, hating myself, saying i dont belong anywhere or worth anything, i dont want to give up before i even start, i want to be proud of what i do even for something as small as random doodles on tumblr.
Whoever read this far. Thank you. I hope you are in a better state than i am. Happy new year
208 notes · View notes
cheesy-cryptid · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Thought Id repost my old art series from last year about my fae ocs i keep drawing again [ here 1 and here 2 ] 🌷🌷🌷 this story was drawn by me and written by @widdlefangs as a collab based on this prompt
| A young boy was visited by royal fae guards one day, who so happen to have searched far and wide… for his little home economics project |
“The Boy and the Flower”
Perhaps it was a memory, or just the vivid imagination of a lonely child. But he swore that there was a time he was a protector of the woodland realm. He wasn’t particularly special in any way or form, but one thing he did have was his undeniably vivid imagination. The conjured sight of a knight, a cricket, and their sparrow mount, kindly requesting him for his 1st grade home economics project. “What shall it be sir, that eases your heart in parting with your callalily treasure? Be it great or many, we are prepared to compensate you for such a loss,” said the knight. “Our Queen is gravely ill, and your flower is the only remedy,” he stutters, an aching worry deep-set in his eyes, “we folk do not usually take any thing that doesn’t belong to us…maybe borrow a little here and there… but as a token of our respect, we humbly ask for your permission. Thus, young one, what shall it be?”
Looking back, he could have asked for riches or the rarest jewels, but his young mind was bereft of that adult greed, instead he asked, “Take me with you then, let me give it to her myself.” ---
The flower was not particularly special in any way or form, he thinks. Just a bloom that is as beautiful as any other bloom. He follows the knight’s quickened footsteps as best as he can into the chamber of the Queen.
He did not even have the luxury of beholding the majesties of the realm around him.
There beyond the sheer curtains was, whom he assumed was the Fae King, the crown of ancient wood resting upon his troubled brow, and in his arms, the pale husk of a Queen. 
He falls to his knees and the King, in his worried state, wordlessly beckons for him to feed the bloom to the Queen. Laboriously, she takes the fragile petals between her cold lips. 
 She lays still for a moment, and perhaps a moment too long, until her chest rises, rises still, and she floats as the light consumes her fully, and the little boy beholds her in naked flame, terrible and divine in all her splendor.  ---
“Well then,” she swirls around him like the wind, “who is the young one who gave up his greatest treasure to save my life?”
 She took small his hands between his, the pale golden warmth speaking true that she yet draws breath.
“It’s only a flower, not really special. It’s no big deal,” he grinned his little gap-tooth grin. “I can grow more if you like, my teacher just said I need more seeds.”
 He looked at the plant, now quite more plain looking without its white crown, yet still stands proud, a stubborn stalk.
The Queen gently tilts his chin up, “It was not the flower, my dear one, that cured me. It was your gift.” 
---
“And then what happened after that?” piped up his dear friend, who was clinging to her seat in anticipation.
“And then,” he prompted, “they gave me this cool pin!” he declared, proudly brandishing a metal flower refrigerator magnet, tied on a piece of yarn.
“I am an official protector of the woodland realm, and a savior of her Majesty, the Fae Queen!”
His friends cheered for him, and after a day playing in the neighborhood park, they decided to get some yoghurt from the local store.
Prior to his little adventure, he believed himself not special in any particular way or form, just like his little flower.
But just like his little unassuming calla lily, his courage saved the Queen.
He didn’t need to imagine it at all. 
END.
381 notes · View notes
eco-lite · 7 months
Text
Finally making more progress on the pile of ST books I own but have yet to read. Here’s some good stuff from The Vulcan Academy Murders by Jean Lorrah.
Tumblr media
[Image ID: The cover of the book The Vulcan Academy Murders. The background has lots of dark purple tones. In the foreground, Spock stands with a phaser pointed at a Vulcan creature with green skin, a cat-like face, a fin down its back, sharp claws, and a long tail. The creature is hissing down at Spock from a rock. End ID]
First of all, what is going on with this cover? Nothing like this happens in the book.
Tumblr media
[Text ID: “Kirk recalled that all male Vulcans were married—had to be—and glanced at Spock. His First Officer, however, was very busy inspecting the almost un-touched wine in his glass.” End ID]
Interesting interesting. 👀
Tumblr media
[Text ID: “Kirk had been given Spock’s room (underlined red by me) and McCoy the guest room in Sarek’s house—a house far from anything Kirk would ever have imagined as the home Spock had grown up in. He had envisioned either a sterile, unadorned ‘environment,’ or a castlelike ancestral residence. Instead, the house on the outskirts of ShiKahr was a simple single-family dwelling.” End ID]
This book is way too casual about Kirk sleeping in Spock’s childhood bedroom. Also, there’s no mention of where Spock is sleeping while they’re there???
Tumblr media
[Text ID: “He remembered forcing Spock to control his emotions when he was five, and his schoolfellows taunted him for being ‘different.’ Under his father’s tutelage, Spock had refused to cry when the others shut him out of their games, calling him ‘Earther’ and ‘half-breed.’ Amanda had hidden her tears from their son, and Sarek had hidden his anger. Or had he? Perhaps I directed it at my son instead, he realized. He had intended to prepare Spock for whatever lack of acceptance he would face in life. And the message Spock received was that his own father did not accept him as he was, had to mold him into something he deemed acceptable.” End ID]
We love reflecting on our past mistakes. 👏🏼 We love character growth. 👏🏼
Tumblr media
[Text ID: “’A computer cannot lie,’ said Spock. ‘Nevertheless, this one is giving false information.’ ‘Why don’t you try playing chess with it?’ came a voice from the doorway. Sarek turned to find Leonard McCoy, bouncing on his toes and grinning.” End ID]
I love them. I can picture this so perfectly.
Tumblr media
[Text ID: “’What dost thou know of Surak?’ she asked finally—but her voice spoke more of perplexity than challenge. ‘What everyone knows: he was the founder of Vulcan philosophy. I know he is a personal hero to my friend Spock, the way Abraham Lincoln, from human history, is to me.’” End ID]
Kirk will bring up Abe Lincoln whenever he has a chance. That’s canon now.
Tumblr media
[Text ID: “’You are not only anything, Spock. You are more, not less, because of your dual heritage. It is fruitless to wish now that I had made that clearer to you when you were a child.’ ‘You wanted me to be Vulcan.’ ‘That is true,’ Sarek agreed. ‘And you are Vulcan, representative of IDIC in its fullest sense.’ Spock studied his father. ‘You never put it to me that way. The last time you and I spoke as father and son, before I went to Starfleet Academy, you reminded me of how important it was that I think of myself as Vulcan. Do you remember your words, father?’ Sarek remembered. ‘I am Vulcan by birth. Your mother is Vulcan by choice. You are Vulcan by both birth and choice.’ ‘And then I disappointed you by making a different choice.’ Sarek searched his memory, trying to recover the logical reason for what now seemed completely irrational. Finally, he said simply, ‘I was wrong.’” End ID]
Yes! Let’s talk about our feelings! Let’s resolve those daddy issues!
Tumblr media
[Text ID: “He went back to his room—Spock’s room, really. Kirk had brought with him a sturdy suit and boots, for Spock had suggested they might go camping in the mountains after the summer heat abated. (Last sentence underlined in red by me.) He put on the boots and the trousers to the suit, but decided the heavy shirt would be far too hot—" End ID]
Spock wanted to take them camping. 🥹
Tumblr media
[Text ID: “‘He will recover, though?’ asked Spock. ‘Yeah—you can see him later, Spock,’ said the doctor. ‘He’s gonna be in considerable pain—you’re probably the only person he’ll be able to stand. Your son would’ve made a good doctor,’ he added to Sarek. ‘I don’t know how he does it, but he’s really good with people in pain.’ Spock’s eyebrows shot up at the unexpected compliment from the man Sarek usually saw him trade barbs with. Then Leonard left them to go back to his patient, and Spock turned to Sarek. ‘May I ask you something, Father?’ ‘What is it, Spock?’ ‘When Mother became conscious, you called her…?’ ‘Beloved.’” End ID]
Spock being very concerned about Kirk’s injuries. Bones saying Spock is the only person Kirk would tolerate while in pain. Spock asking his father about expressing love for an outworlder. It’s a lot.
206 notes · View notes