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#or is it just like. i knoe im going to bed so i know im gonna be alone with my thoughts and so they all come and hit me at once???
arowrath · 5 months
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do yiu ever feel so fucking lonely . and so fucking scared
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me, every night for the past three weeks: oh im feelin good rn! and i had a good day today!! im definitely not gonna lie awake filled with anxiety and dread over my future tonight :D
me, lying in bed 20 minutes later looping famous last words: by talos this cant be happening
#its like im fine literally all day qnd then i start to get ready for bed and the Dread sets in#like its an actual physical feeling in my stomach and i just suddenly out of nowhere have to hold myself back from crying#i literally go from perfectly happy to on the verge of tears in an INSTANT and idk whats causing uty#it#like i know broadly ehat the causes are but idk whats causing the specific switch at night#am i tired?? is it just bc im tired??? bc its not consistently at the same time and most of the time i dont *feel* tired#or is it just like. i knoe im going to bed so i know im gonna be alone with my thoughts and so they all come and hit me at once???#idk idk idk i just know i hate it and i want it to stop i want everything to fucking stop#id say i need a minute to breathe but really ive been using the past four months as my minute to breathe & thats part of the fucking problem#because ive been putting this all off for so long bc its so overwhelming but now theres so much igotta do and theres real tangible deadlines#so i cant keep putting it off but i DO and its just making it all even more overwhelming and my parents arent fucking helping#but its not even their fault because im chosing not to talk to them about this bc talking to them about it makes it all real#and i dont want it to be real yet im not fucking ready for it to be real yet i just need a goddamn minute TO FUCKING BREATHE#i wish i could freeze time and just give myself a day where none of this matters#actually a days not long enough i think i need like. two weeks. two weeks for me to get my shit together where none of this bullshit exists#and i can just do whatever i want and not have to think about deadlines and decisions and the fact that this is all ive wanted since the#7th fucking grade and now that its actually here i cant fucking stomach the thought of it being real because im a goddamn coward who cant#fucking commit to anything or get themself to DO anything and i know its not really my fault bc i probably have adhd and i get#knocked off my ass with a migraine every ither fucking day but i still feel like i should be more prepared for this than i am#and im not prepared and im not ready and i cant get myself ready because i cant do things like this myself because i dont really want to be#doing them at all#like sure! the bitch can write a 400+ page fanfiction no fucking problem!! they can find time for that but a college essay?? even finding#schools to apply too???? dont be fucking ridiculous they cant even get half an app done in the time it takes them to write a two 6k chapters#delete later
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seeyabythemarina · 1 year
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Octavia:" Why did you ruin our home"
Octavia pov
My day started good for like a few minutes, but soon went to hell. Dad had broken his promise and chose to forget about me to yell at his mother instead.
After trashing my room a bit I got an idea. If dad wasn't going to take me to see the stars I would go by herself.
Sneaking into the home of the red dickhead who ruined my home I found the book easily. Shaking her head she thought "How could dad choose a guy like this".
Flipping through the book I was looking for a teleportation spell but suddenly came across a spell that would allow me to see the past to learn anything I wanted. This was my chance I could see happened that ruined my family. Doing the spell I suddenly lost consciousness falling to the ground as the imp run into the room and starred at me in shock.
When I suddenly open my eyes again I was holding the grimoire and seem to be a little kids room. Hering a yawn I turn around I was shocked to see a tiny owl chick. The were small and looked like -
"Dad" I said surprised. Dad suddenly jumped out of bed stating how it was his birthday. He Complete walked past we like he couldn't see me.
I then decided to analyze the situation. The spell worked and I was seeing the past. Years before I was born too if im really seeing little dad. Why thought I wanted the spell to show me why my family broke. I expected to go back a few weeks or month not years.
As I was think little dad walk out of the room and I decided to follow him. It was great to see all the photos of dad a sa kid. Weird but great.
When we finally opened a big door we were face with some weird monster who before turning into several creature turned into the family shape of my grandfather paimon.
Octavie isn't close with her grandfather he does come often. When he does he never say srolas name right and does talk with her.
I just listen absently to what paimon was saying about stolas job with the Grimoire and smiled at dad excitement. Beside me and his paint the grimoire was one of the thing dad could get passionate about.wjicj is another raosn it so shock he would just hand it out to imps.It wasn't till the second part where my smile fell and horrified shock replace it.
"Also so you are also destined to sirr a precautionary addition to the goetia family so you are know engage congratulation isn't she charming." Paimon said holding a picture of a child version of my mom to a not crying dad
"What!!!", I said horrified. "Pre-precuationary heir. I only exist to be a backup to the family. That's my purpose. My parents never wanted to get married. They never wanted me-me." Turning to my dad I shouted," you never wanted me" crying with tear and gasps.
I had seen enough grabbing the book I yelled, take me away from here right now. I've seen everything I wanted to see. The reason my family is broken is becuase of my existence. They hate each other becuase of me. I ruin everything. Not dad not even that red dickhead me. Just just take me back please" I say crying, we then started teleporting away. Good I thought I need to get back now I need to apologize to dad for being the cause of his unhappiness.
I then frowned whe I say that I wasn't home I was still with little stolas and qe were knoe in some circus tent. "Why are we here I" asked the book "I don't need the see more" nothing happen so I just decide the stay silent and wait for what the book wanted me to see to happen
suddenly two imp children came on stage one of them look sort of like that fucking Clown from loo loo land and the other. Even with out the white scar I could see that it was the red dickhead.
I was shocked to also see that my dad was blushing while looking at him. He really like that imp before cheat on mum with him.
I wasn't the only one who saw dad like for the impending before I knew it the book took me to a new place.
Paimon was talking to the ringmaster about buying blitz for dad becuase he didn't want to deal with him. Jeez no wonder dad is so affectionate with me.
I then went to see blitzo and fizz playing with their messed up horses ballons. Before the blitzo dad told him. To steal from them not caring that he could get hurt. I guess that another thing the6 have in common. Horrible fathers.
We then went to blitzo being brought to dad who blush upon seeing him. when bowing to be polite paimon hit him and called him and idiot which made me sad.
We then went th stoals talking about his plant with blitzo looking bored. Before he decided the trick dad to playing a game where he could steal stuff. I was bit mad but didn't blame him considering what his dad is like and that he was more steal from paimon then dad. After the game was over and blitz gave the stolen goods they went to sit on a tree and talked.
I was then taken to a modern version of my dad room with him making up with a groan. I then say my dad clean him self up and then eat some pills. See that sadden me because dad was never happy.
I then follow dad small smile at the fact he still took the time to check on me. I then followed dad to the kitchen. I heard mom on the phone but just ignored her like always. I then say that they were having a not yet divorced party. I did remember that it was before the yelling got really worse. I guess still is the time I was looking for.
I remember just staying in my room for it and dad insistence and my own disinterested. I understand why dad wanted me gone mum just insulted him the whole time and egg she called me just an egg. Did she care about me at all. My dad was more involve in my childhood,but I alway belve mum care about me somewhat.
It wasn't till blitzo showed up that we went to the his room that dad started flirting. That's when I realized that this was when dad started cheat. Oh he'll no I was not seeing this covering my eyes and ears. Luckily, the book took me after it was over when blitzo left. It did hurt a bit when dad said it was the sound of a divorce though
I then telported somewhere else. Shock went on to my face to see dad was laying on the ground with lot of alcohol bottle on the ground. Dad I said wondering when this happen. Dad then got up and sang and song which made my heart break. Then mum showed up
Hearing what she said made me made. She only stayed around to make sure my dad was suffering that b*tch. I was happy dad stood up for himself and said they were getting the divorce but that changed to horror when I say mum was about to backhand up which dad caught luckily, but that didn't matter she was going to hit him has she hit him before. Was any of the happy childhood/family memories I had real.
Mum then left before saying dad would pay. Not if I had anything to say about it. I then fell unconscious again and Stull time woke up with my dad in my face.
"Via oh my Satan thank lucifer your ok. What were you thinking using that spell it way above you level you luck to be alright." He said hugging me.
After everything I saw and learnrd and saw I was happy to see my dad again bursting into tears I hugged him and said, "Dad I love you. I love you so much but we. We need to talk. About blitz, about mom, about me being a precautionary heir."
Dad looked horrified I knew that but nodded silently taking us home.
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corpsehusband-simp · 3 years
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Weight of the World
WARNING: This is a sensitive Fic that deals with depression, mentions of dark thoughts, punching a wall, and anxiety. It has a fluffy ending. 
A/N: Please put yourself first and don't read this fic if it will put you in any kind of dark place because of what is metions and please know that my DM’s are always open. Feel free to message me all hours of the day or night, I am always here to talk.
 Request: this is a touchy request so i understand if you are uncomfortable with writing it. it’s kinda a comfort/coping prompt but can you write corpse x reader where reader has been going through manic depression and just pushes everyone away and performs self destructive behavior, and corpse has to talk y/n out of su*icide? recently i’ve just.. been really going through it is all i can say. if you don’t wanna write it, totally understandable ❤️
Paring: Corpsex reader, Sykkuno x reader (best friends)
You rolled over in your bed as your phone rang, hiding yourself further into your covers. You woken up yesterday morning and your depression had hit you full force. You couldnt really put a finger on wheat caused your manic depressive episode but it was kicking your ass. It had been a while since you felt like this and you couldnt find the strength at the moment to pull yourself out of it and in doing so you were pushing away the person you loved the most. Corpse. The love of your life but you couldnt even answer his phone calls or texts. Instead you physically turned away from his caller ID, the last time you had talked to him was through a text yesterday telling him that you needed space and that was all.
The more you thought about it the angrier it made you, the angrier you became with yourself. As your mind slipped into darker, angrier thoughts your phone rang again but think time it was your best friend Sykkunos ring tone, Big booty bitches. 
Corpse must have called him. You thoguht before reluctantly picking up the phone, wiping tears from your face. “What Sykkuno”
“Oh uh h-hi y/n. I just wanted to uh call you and check up on you, you didnt come to the Among Us lobby yesterday.” You sighed.
“Im fine Sy.” Your tone was short and rough, you hated acting this way but you didnt want to pull anyone else down intot the slump that you were in.
“O-okay, well im here okay. Love you y/n/n”
“Yeah love you too sy. Never forget that.” and with that you hung up on him, tears running down your face again as your thoughts continued down a dark route.
CORPSE POV
Corpse was going out of his mind trying to figure out what was going on with you. After your text yesterday he had been battling his anxiety on wether or not he should oush the situation, corpse knew you depression could get back sometimes but he also understood sometimes people just needed space. So he turned to the only other person he could trust right now, Sykkuno.
“Hey buddy.”
“Oh hey corpse, whats goin on?” It made corpse smile to hear that at least sykkuno was still his normal cheerie self.
“I need a favor, I think y/n is having another episode butbut she wont answer my calls so I was wondering if you could try and call her for me. See if she answers.”
“Yeah of course man, but why dont you just go over there?” Corpse sighs.
“Im going to but I dont want to push ya know. Its- this is a touchy thing.” Sykkuno hums in agreement before hanging up. Corpse paces back and forth in his livingroom till Sykkuno calls back.
“Hey Corpse”
“Did she answer?” Sykkuno sighs.
“Yeah and she doesnt sound like shes doing very well.Im actually really really worried Corpse.” Before Sykkuno could even finish his sentence Corspe was grabbing his car keys and hoodie.
“Im heading over there now, Ill text you later with and update. Thank you for calling her.”
“Of course, just keep me updated.” Corpse faster than he ever had , it was a mirical he didnt get pulled over.
Please be okay, please be okay. He repeated in his mind over and over as he run up to your apartment door. He entered quietly and quickly, not even bothering to take his shoes off. You entire apartment was dark and eerily quiet but as he neared your bedroom he could hear your quiet cries coming from the bathroom. He knocks on the door and tires to open it but it was locked.
“Go away.” You cried with broke Corpses heart.
“Baby girl, please open the door.”
“NO please just go away!”
Your POV
You felt out of control as you cried so you puched and yelp in pain. Corpse wastes no time kicking in the door.
“Im sorry baby Ill fix that I promise.” He says quickly as he kneels down beside you. You didnt know if it was the suddenness of the door kicking in or him beig here or both but you broken down into even more of a crying mess on your bathroom floor. Corpse pulls you into his chest and you try to fight him off. 
“No leave me alone, go away!” He only held you tighter and closer.
“Y/N I’m not going anywhere. We made a promise to eachother remember? We promised to never leave eachother remember? Me and you together. Im promise to fight next to you. So please just breath and let me help baby please.” Eventually you stopped fighting against him and clung to him like your life depended on it, and in this moment you were positive it did. You didnt know how much time passed between that moment and when Corpse finally stood, holding you bridalstyle as he carried you to the room. You laid both you you down, never letting you leave his hold. As you laid there Corpse left sof kisses around your face and whispered sweet loving things to you.
“You are so strong Y/n” He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your forehead. “You are beautiful and smart” Corpse kisses your temple. “You are worth every single breath you take, every single atom and molecule in this universe that you take up you are worthy of.” He gently lifts you chin so you were looking up at him with your red, puffy eyes. “A wise girl once told me, that I know it gets hard and feels like the weight of the world is one your shoulders but theres two of us now and you dont have to take the weight on alone.” You sniffle and look up at him.
“Hey I said that.” Your voice was weak and horse from crying.
“Yes baby girl, you did, and I hope you knoe its true. I am right here.”
“I dont want to burden you, I know you have some much on your plate already I dont want to throw my shit on there too.” He shakes his head and lays his forehead on yours. 
“You arent burdening me, the only thing that ever puts more stress on my plate is when you push me away because I cant help you when you do that.” You sniffle reaching up and brush your finger tips across his cheek. 
“Im so sorry I put you through this.” Tears started to well up in your eyes but Corpse qucikly wipes under them and peppers your forehead in kisses.
“Hey hey hey none of that baby. Alls well now. Im here now.”
“Thank you my love. You are my rock.’
“And you are mine”
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fiftyshadesgrl · 5 years
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Consumed
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Deans pov
I sit and pour another full glass of whiskey, downing it in two gulps. I welcomed the burn, wishing it would burn my memories away. My memory of her. My beautiful, amazing, strong, (Y/N). Its been a year and three weeks, thats 386 days i have been drowning in the pain and whiskey.
Sam walks in at that moment and sighs. I glare up at him knoeing exactly what hes thinking. Sure enough he sat down in front of me and grabbed the bottle that sat over half empty. "Dude, youre gonna have to stop this."
I growled and grabbed for the bottle but sam held it just out of my grasp. "Sam." I warned but he didnt cave. "Give it back damn it."
Sam shook his head, "this isnt helping you one bit."
"Youre right its not, cause its still in the bottle." I said grabbing the bottle from his hand catching him off guard.
He stood and ran a hand through his hair, frustration showing. "Do you think she would want you doing this to yourself?"
I laughed humorlessly, "she doesnt fucking care."
"How can you say that dean?" Sam practically yelled.
I stood up knocking the chair over behind me. "She left me sam! She walked away without even looking back, she just walked away."
Sam threw his arms up in defeat. "Can you blame her?"
"Watch it sam."
He rolled his eyes at me he knew that annoyed me when he did that. "You cheated on her dean, not once, not twice but multiple times. She watched you night after night going out alone knowing where you were going. I cant tell you the nights she would come to me crying, wondering what she was doing wrong. She tried for so long to be what you wanted but you just kept on running around with whoever was willing to climb into your car."
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I could feel the tears threatning to fall but i refuse to cry. I dont cry after women, but (Y/N) wasnt just any woman. Sam laid a hand on my shoulder, i didnt even know he had walked around the table.
"Youre my brother dean and i love you, i also love (Y/N) too. Seeing her in that bad of a state killed me. Do you remember when she was put in the hospital for a week?"
I thought, the alcohol making it hard to concentrate. Then the memory flooded back. She was laying in a hospital bed both her arms bandaged up, a bandage around her throat. She couldnt talk for months.
"That was the vamp nest accident wasnt it?" I asked curious where sam was going with this.
He shook his head, "thats what she told you. I told her she shouldnt hide it from you but she didnt want you to see her as weak."
"What happened then?"
Sam sighed seemingly debating on whether he should tell me or not. "One night when she tried to get your attention you left and she just broke. I was in the library researching and she walked up to me and hugged me. She told me she loved me and to make sure to tell you she loved you no matter if you loved her or not." I opened my mouth to say something but sam held up his hand. "I had a uneasy feeling when she said she was going to bed but i never thought, i didnt know she was broken that bad. I heard glass shatter and i yelled for her, she didnt answer. Her door was locked it took me a couple minutes to bust it down. I was almost to late. She broke her mirror in the bathroom slit her arms from the inside of her elbow to her wrist and she shoved a shard into her neck."
I sobered up at that, "jesus! What the fuck?" I said glaring at sam.
"She said she couldnt live without you. I rushed her to the hospital and they said another five minutes and she would have been dead." Something inside me snapped hearing that. I fell to my knees feeling like someome was constricting my airway. Sam was saying something in front of me but everything was muffled. I ran down the hall to my room, i slammed the door in sams face but he didnt try to come in. I sat on the bed and pulled out the old picture i had in my dresser drawer, it was of me and (y/n). Back when everything was good.
I loved this picture, i rememver the day and exactly where this was taken. We were on a hunt in montana, a werewolf was on a killing spree there. (Y/n) was so excited but she never asked to go. She had always wanted to go to montana, so i asked her to come along. I actually didnt even get to ask her the full question before she was jumping in my arms hugging me tightly. This picture was taken after we had ganked the bastard, i took her to a local hiking spot that overlooked the beautiful mountains and a lake.
When we finally made it to the lookout spot she pulled her phone out and took a picture of the lake. I surprised her by asking for us to take a picture together. I put my arms around her waist and right before she snapped the picture i placed a kiss right on her temple. Her smile was so beautiful, even more so than the scenery. Her smile showed love. That was a good memory, to bad i dont have more good memories to outweigh the bad.
I pulled out my cell phone and called her number, i knew she wouldnt answer it but i had to try. Just as i thought it had been disconnected or changed one of the two. I was so frustrated not at her but at myself. How could i cheat on her? How could let her go? "Sammy!" I yelled and a few seconds later he was at my door. "Do you have her phone number? Her address?"
Sam stayed silent which made me even more frustrated. "Ill take that as a yes." Standing up i picked my duffle bag up from the floor and started shoving clothes in it. "I need them both, write them down, type them in my phone i dont care. I just need them and i wont take no for an answer."
"Dean." Sam sighed but i wasnt having it.
"Now sam!" I yelled, he stood still for a minute. I almost thought he wasnt going to give them to me, but he grabbed my phone and began typing.
"If she talks to you or sees you, and thats a big if. But if she does i didnt give you this information." Sam finished typing and threw my phone down onto the bed but he remained in the doorway. Slinging my duffle bag over my shoulder i picked up my phone and shoved it into my jeans pocket.
"Thanks sammy. If you need anything." I didnt get to finish when sam nodded and wished me good luck. When i slid into the drivers side i pulled my phone out. My heart beating so hard and fast as i looked at the address and number. She only lived two towns over. I pulled baby onto the main road before i dialed her number.
"Please, please, please, please." I whispered to myself as it began to ring. It rang six times then went to voicemail, in all honesty im glad she didnt answer. I didnt leave a message either. If i had or she wouldve answered she wouldve known i was coming for her. Now i have the element of surprise, she cant run if she doesnt know im coming.
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themansmansblog · 5 years
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Drunkness and cookies
Colby Lopez aka Seth Rollion × girlfriend
summery: You are about half a bottle in of red wine. You feel the buzz then a need to start baking. Colby dosnt complain as long as he gets his favorite kind of cookie at the end of the night he'll be just fine
Warning there is smut/ inappropriate for kids. Read at your own pleasure
What could I say. I was half a bottle of wine in smiling dancing with Colby in the middle of our kichten listening to country music. Colby wasnt as drunk as i was he only had a small buzz. Its been a long 4 months sense Colby was able to go home. Being on the road working with WWE was a dream come true to him, but it didnt stop him from missing his wifey every single secound of the day. He would stak your instagram everyday. His favorite post has to be the image you took of Kevin - his dog- taking a bath in your guys shared house. Or was his favorite picture the picture of your guys wedding day. He couldn't decide he has so much love for you both.
"You know I love you right?" Colby asks you thinking out loud.
"Yeah of course I do hunny! " you say cheerfully as you pull away kissing him passionately. He smiles pulling away from the kiss.
"Wow its getting a little to hot right now " Colby says chuckling kissing your temple.
"I know right its super hot!" Y/n says moving away from Colby taking your own shirt of along with her bra.
"Im hungery I think ima make some cookies" you says smiling happily as you make your way over gathering the ingredients to make a batch of your famous Chocolate Chip Cookies.
"Y/n come on maybe in the morning. How about we go up stairs now and have some fun?" Colby asked you excitedly as he wraps his arms around your wasit pulling you into.
"Look ill let you eat your desert if you let me make mine" you pout looking up at him pushing his stroung arms off of you as you start gathering all the dry ingredients together.
"Fine ill just wait for you to finsh but your only making one dozen then im taking you to bed" Colby says clenching his jaw as going to the fridge to grab another beer. He watchs you mix all the ingredients together putting them in the cookie sheet to bake. You smiles eating some of the raw cookie dough whild your at it.
"You think we could do a quickie before we head upstairs. I don't think the kichten table has been broken in yet." You say with a major grin on your face as you straddle Colby.
"Sounds like a good deal " Colby says leaning in to kiss her as he lefts her up laying her on the table. Colby kiss her still as you kiss him back reaching down to him to unbotten his pants so the quickie to happen. You unzip his pants just enough for him to slid down his pants. Being the savage he is he wasnt wearing no pants. He hicks up you skirt you where wearing ripping your panties off making you jump whimper.
"You like that when im rough with you? I know you do especially when your all fucked up" Colby smirks kissing you again slaming himself into you casue to let out a loud moan and grab onto his back for support.
"Fuck " you whimpered out as he touchs your g spot
"How much you want to bet i can finish both of us off in 5 minutes?" Seth asks balls deep right now kissing you cheek like a sweat heart.
"I'll feed you the rest of the cookie dough" you say
"Deal." Seth says pulling back out thrusting back into you hard. His hips touching you as you two have probodly the best sex yet in your relationship. You kiss him passionately pulling his hair moaning loudly as he repeats his attentions hitting your G-spot perfectly.
" oh my god colby dont stop!" You moan mouth opened as he kisses your cheek making his way to your neck to leave a claiming mark so everyone knoes your his wify.
"Didnt plan on it" Colby says groaning while he leaves a dark hickie on your sweet spot making you moan louder.
"Your so loud... I love it" Colby says as your loudness in bed encourages him to keep going. Your knee are weak. Arms heavy. Theres sweat on your forehead. Your about one secound from coming and Colby dosnt care when just as long as you first. He stand by the saying 'Ladies First'.
"Im close Colby!" You wail head thrown back as you submit to him.
"Go baby... " he grunts groaning loudly as you cum all over his pelvis and dick. He returns the favor by dropping his seed into you laying his upper half on top of you.
"Babe the cookiesssss...." You whine small moans still escaping from you frim after shock. Colby nods getting up pulling out of her taking the cookies out and turnung the stove off.
"Come on you. You owe me a round 2 darling" Colby smirks picking you up heading to your guys bedroom. Hopefully kevin isnt sleeping....
//// Author note. decided to post this today and another one tommarow maybe??////
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queencryo · 5 years
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@silly-go-round is asleep right now.
i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.
uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)
also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.
alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.
oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.
we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.
so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.
but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.
im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.
i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)
shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)
talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)
skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.
uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...
today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.
i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus
skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)
came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!
i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!
goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn
silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.
hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.
by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:
oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)
she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^
oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.
we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.
she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.
ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.
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threenorth · 3 years
Text
Dearest L
You say you can't trust me, so apart of trust is being open, and trusting.
I hyperfixate on information and gather things related to what i know, It hurts you call me a stalker but it's a title i dervse but ultimately it hurts you say them to me... But i hope i know deep down you didn't mean them and it was ill health because you would never say things to hurt me and even if you did i know they have meanings behind them... I'm scared again that I'd hurt you so as part of trust and being open to foster a friendship as you asked... Today I got a call that my assessment will be pushed back by two weeks, for some reason they didn't say why but vast i will say the next siganfant day that we share in dates that we share that i thought would be the day i message you to tell you I'm reday to be freinds again in my timezone equivalent of the day I'm being assessed and who knows it might have to then go on to more specialists within the hospital but i don't know my head space day to day but i welcome you back on that day because if it's ment to be that's just fate being fate again but i just don't want you to see me at my worse, you deserve me at my best and that's why I'm telling you.
Thank you.
You have made so many sacrifices for me and or ultimately you have done possibly more, I don't want you to blame yourself for my situation because none of my troubles are from you but i know a majority of yours must be from me.
I love you so much that it's hard for me not to write or. Show you my day that's all i want you to see... You asked me for one message a day sooo here's one letter a day... I'm repeicing my memory and it's very scatter brain at the moment... you... i do it so you can see what's going on in my life i don't expect a reply, the universe gives me the answers you want me to find... And vast I'm reday to talk to you whenever you want to but if i look like I'm in pain i probably will tell you if i am... But my smile i don't think has returned yet, the doctor thinks im a chronic depression fucking fabulous...
I qued some things for the day before what i assumed would be my assessment day but i won't put them on pause because they are susposed to happen as the day i wanted you back might in fact be the first day back to my life and that's the day I expected you call you to tell you i needed you as a freind but now that's the day I'm going to be assessed and that too is the day that i would call you to tell you that i need a freind again...
30th august.
It's day you i believe gave up on me.
You left me clues and i appreciate it.
I think I've almost got them all worked out but...
I'm not so good at clues but I'm figuring them out. I would tell you i promised my return i just think you deserve the best me and not while I'm such a mix up and down but before you think that your a mix and i dervse the best you, i chose you when we were young and i love your flaws but you didn't know all of mine maybe my poor spelling but that's why i want to be stable so i can eat your pain away every little bit of it...i picture it within my own life...
I'll sing to you everyday if i could But I'll write everyday till then...
I miss your laugh the most and all the stupid things you do, like singing to a dubstep song that's ridiculous but i try sing to my favourite instruments too but my smile hasn't returned but i know it will when i see your beautiful face your so beautiful it melts my pain away but only temporarily while i suffer from my mental health currently i have to spend weekend ends recharging as masking to everyone takes a toll on me mentally and physically currently.
I need you to look at the stars and remember my face because i see yours looking back at me...
A part of me will tell you that i saw us today, but the faces weren't ours. But i made a playlist if want to join me on the longest run.
I have asthma but now i can get meds to breathe.
Some of these songs are more so personal to me but i didn't want to add songs that might be trumantic. I've made playlists but this one is a theme
I'll call running till my legs bleed.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
XO
R
Burn after reading.
P.S
Everyday I struggle and struggle less but sometimes even to get out of bed on time but i see your laugh and smile in my head and it tells me today i fight for her because she's worth every ounce of what's left of me and ultimately what's coming back to me.
She's my fuel, she's the blood in my veins.
I close my eyes and i see her telling me to fight on.
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I hope you know your mediations are fueling my will power to fight on.
I hope my mediations send you to sleep quickly it's a big day tommrow, get some sleep I'll here dreaming of you in the small Window we share a bed.
Today's question is who's your favourite star wars character? and don't say han oh please no he's such a stupid character development especially in solo the movie... No not Jar Jar thot begot where's my hot nerd girl freind come on its obiwon or Luke skywalker...Oh okay daddy kylo's abs but that isn't as strong as Vader's force well okay Ben/Kylo's abs do have attraction but i ment cannonly Vader is... Fine okay jar jar is that really what your gonna go with? Pffft what a troll i know you like kylo's hair but Ani's hair in RotS it's like hellllllla what I'm wanting oh speaking of padmei oh lord yes please I'll take that and a slice of... Wait a minute did you go back to jar jar, he's sooo why lucuas whhhbyyyyyyy.
I guess L's favourite starwars character is unknown but we're see... Did you see i was knighted with a lightsaber at graduation? Oh that's a meme it's self, i give you full permission to stalk though my blog or instagram and anything you want to talk about whenever you want to just ask me about...when we talk again.
I miss you freind. But sending you my best.
Till tommrow. I hope you know how much of my heart is taken up by you and if you don't knoe every post was for you... Even if some of my stuff wasn't so accessible and for that i apologise i haven't been in a good Headspace.
Beaches or mountains.
I changed my mind... I think if that's what you ment.
Beaches.
That's where 10 said the words he had been meaning to.
That's where I'm uncomfortable but you wanted to be wed.
They have highs and lows.
Land where I'm surrounded by water.
The question is what did you really mean?
And if It's what I think my answer is anywhere and everywhere.
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runningwitches · 6 years
Text
Loved
Summary: The reader is sad because they feel useless. Steve makes sure they know that’s not true and the party cheers them the heck up.
Request?: Nah M8 I’m just sad as heck
Word Count: 1819
A/N: i mean, seasonal depression and a neverending fear that nobody will ever love me and that I will die alone drove me to binge read a shit ton of steve harrington x reader fics and cry despite the fact that i havent finished season two of stranger things but im gonna write this anyways.
i guess this is steve x reader but thats not the main point of the story
idfk i just want to be loved
(umm, henderson! reader who is loved by everyone, i do not give a shit if this follows the exact storyline, ok? i just wanna be happy again) (also i do not look anything like a henderson! so reader can be adopted or some shit? maybe a cousin?  who tf knoes? not me, thats for sure !!
Warnings: Probably Season Two Spoilers, No Editing, Probably super OOC and all that because I started this at almost three in the morning and now its four and I’m exhausted but I cant sleep because I’m sad. Anyways I’m just trying to say that it’s bad but I’ll love you if you read it anyways.
I was curled up in my bed, isolating myself from everyone as per usual. After the events with the mind flayer and demodogs and upside down, I realized something pretty depressing. Nobody needed me. I mean like? Sure I was Dustin’s sister. And sure, I was kinda helpful in saving Steve’s ass from the demodogs and Billy, but it just feels as if I weren’t there, nobody would even notice. As if my presence had no positive value to anyone in The Party™.
So instead of socializing with them while they all played DnD and joked around, I sat myself in my room, wrapped in a blanket burrito, holding back tears. I had my music on in the background as I mindlessly flipped through one of the magazines my mom had bought for me. Everyone was downstairs as it was Dustin’s turn to host the DnD night, and everyone was over. I mean, Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Will, El, Max, Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan, and I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if I walked downstairs to find Joyce and Hopper there too. Every once in awhile I would hear some loud laughter come up from the group, signifying how happy they were without me there. It definitely wasn’t easy for me to sit there by myself staring blankly at the pictures of celebrities I didn’t even care about, but I continued to tell myself that they would be happier without me, attempting to drown out the sounds of their joy with the mixtape I had made for myself a little while back.
As I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing, trying to force the tears that had started to pool back into my eyes, I heard someone knocking on my door. I quickly wiped my eyes to ensure there weren’t any stray tears, pulled the blanket tighter around my body, and attempted to look miserable. But miserable in a sick way and not in a sad way. If it were anybody except Dustin or Steve, I knew I was going to be able to pull off the “I’m not feeling very well” charade, so my chances were pretty good (though odds were rarely skewed in my favor).
Of course with my luck my little brother came bursting through the door.
“(Y/N)! Why aren’t you down there playing DnD with us?!” he asked, voice booming loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. As I prepared to try my excuse with him to see if my acting skills had gotten any better, I noticed someone else walking through the door. Looking up, my watery eyes met the concerned look on Steve’s face.
“Hey shithead, stop screaming. You don’t need to tell everyone in Hawkins about your sister’s lack of participation in game night,” he said to Dustin, ruffling his hair and then muttering for him to go back downstairs. Dustin looked angrily at Steve for a moment before looking between us for a second, muttered something to himself, and then left the room, surprisingly closing my door as he left.
“What’s up with you lately? It’s not like you to miss game night, but you haven’t been to a single one these past few weeks.”
“I’m just not feeling well, Steve, don’t worry about it,” I told him, looking down at the magazine in my lap and trying to will the tears away.
“Don’t try that bullshit with me, (Y/N). I know you better than that, do you really think I’d believe that crap?”
“There’s no bullshit to be had Steve, just go back downstairs, I’ll be fine,” I told him, yet I still refused to make eye contact. So when he sat down on the edge of my bed, put two fingers under my chin, and lifted my head up in order for me to make eye contact, I saw his face immediately soften.
“I’m not gonna go back downstairs until I figure out what’s wrong with my favorite girl.”
It took all of the resolve in the world for me to not break down at those two words, and it still didn’t even work. “Favorite girl?” I repeated, but only in my own head. “There’s no way I’m his favorite girl, he’s lying to me. Everyone always lies to me” I told myself. And in that second it was like the dam was broken. The tears started to fall freely from my face. I curled myself into more of a ball than I already was, which was a surprising feat of human flexibility, if I’m being completely honest. Steve’s arms immediately went around me, pulling us closer to each other, and practically pulling me into his lap.
I didn’t say a word as he stroked my hair and shushed me softly, I simply let out a series of what I would consider disgusting sobs.
He continued whispering to me, little things telling me that I’d be okay, or that he was there for me, or that everything was gonna be fine. As my breathing finally evened out, he hadn’t asked me what was wrong like I had expected, so I knew I had to speak up.
“Why are you even here, Harrington?” I asked him bitterly.
“What do you mean?” he replied, exasperated.
“Why do you even care about me?” I reiterated with a sniffle.
“Why do I care about you? (Y/N) what are you on about? It would take me ages to list all of that back to you.” I didn’t respond, but I allowed myself to relax a bit, leaning now onto his chest instead of holding myself as far away as I could while somehow still being in his lap. “(Y/N) you’re wonderful. You care so much about all of the kids, sometimes I think you out-mom even their own mom’s.” That was greeted with a sharp exhale from my nose which was (correctly) interpreted as a laugh. “You’re fucking badass. You can use a gun, a bat, a hockey stick, and pretty much anything else you can get your hands on to slay monsters, like real life monsters.” He checked my face after this comment, and was lucky he did, because he almost missed the slight curl of my lips. “You never let anybody get in the way of doing what needs to be done. Not even racist douchebags that show up and kick my ass. And you certainly don’t take shit from anyone.” A few more tears fell from my eyes, but he grabbed my face and used his thumbs to wipe them away, looking into my eyes. “And you’ve got a whole group of teenagers sitting down there worried sick about you because you mean so much to all of them.”
I sniffled again and threw my arms around his neck, whispering an almost inaudible, “Thank you.”
“Of course, sweetheart. Now let’s go get you cleaned up so we can finish that game of DnD.” I almost blushed at the pet name he gave me, if he didn’t sweep me up into his arms and carry me to the bathroom so I could rinse my face off. He made sure to grab my blanket from my bed and grabbed my hand to lead me down the stairs.
“Wow, it’s so nice of you to join us,” Dustin said the second we were down the stairs, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Steve shot him a look that said, “shut up or I’ll kill you,” while I just gave him a small smile. Before I even got settled on the couch I was smothered by two bear hugs.
“I missed you (Y/N),” El told me, gripping me in probably the tightest hug I’ve ever had. “You were gone for three weeks!”
“Yeah dude! Don’t leave us alone with these losers for that long ever again!” Max exclaimed, hugging me almost as tight as El was.
I smiled down at both of them, hugging them back just as fiercely. Looking up, I saw the smile Steve had on, but I ignored it in favor of the smiles on my girls’ faces. Ruffling their hair, I removed myself from their grips and went to sit on the couch between Steve and Nancy.
“It’s a good thing you came back (Y/N). I almost killed your brother, and not in the campaign, in real life. I’m pretty sure you’d be the only one who could stop me.” I chuckled to myself and then smiled at Lucas.
“It’s a good thing that I’m back then, huh?”
Will looked up at me this time, “Definitely! I was waiting for you to come down so I could show you this drawing!” I smiled down at him, glancing briefly at Jonathan, only enough to recognize the immense pride on his face at the fact that Will was genuinely happy and smiley. He brought it up to show me a picture that he had drawn of me fighting a monster, a cute little label that pertained to my name at the top. “Steve said you fought a monster and won! And I didn’t even get to see it. So I thought I’d draw it out for you.”
“I love it Will!” I exclaimed, pulling him into a hug and looking at the drawing again. It wasn’t until this second look that I noticed a label by the monster’s head as well. It simply read, “Billy” with a little arrow to indicate that the monster I was beating up was named Billy. I laughed at the naming of the monster and pulled Will into another hug, pressing a light kiss to the top of his head. He grabbed the drawing and placed himself back into his spot.
“(Y/N), you want to hop in on this campaign? We’ve still got a while left to go and we’re in a pretty good spot to add another character?” Mike offered, as he was playing Dungeon Master.
“Yeah, come on (Y/N)! You haven’t actually played in forever!” Dustin added.
The rest of the group added their own chorus of “Yeah”s to try and convince you to join.
“Okay, I guess. But only if I get to be a healer! I’m tired of killing the monsters,” I joked, earning a laugh from everyone in the room.
“Okay, okay, so the group walks up to the tavern in town, hoping for a nice evening away from the fighting for once. But the open the door and see, A MOM, not just A mom, it’s their mom!”
“What?” El asked.
“Mike what are you on about?” Lucas added.
“OH MY GOD, (Y/N)’S GONNA BE LIKE OUR TEAM’S MOM!” Max shouted in realization. The whole group looked at Mike in anticipation. “Well obviously, how else would I have gone about this? It’s perfect, and the perfect position to make her the healer.”
“I mean, technically she’s my sister,” Dustin announced, implying that you couldn’t be his mom.
“See (Y/N), I told you I was gonna kill him.”
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legitkerrie · 6 years
Text
maybe its just the way we were. maybe its just the way i am. i just want you to understand the memories, are there even if you forgot the night we danced. hurt feelings, numb nights, you know its all the same. if loves an endless battle why'd we play it like a game? it takes two to play, so how am i to blame? i tried to give you everything and all you did was fade away. you wanted love, you gave me hurt, and it hurt more to try and make it work.  you were a chapter in my life and i was just a line in yours. we went through hell and back just for you to get me back, and after all that take a glance on where that left us at. so go ahead pretend the rest of your life. hide your feelings and emotions and be alone at night. when you realize what you wanted is buried deep inside. I won't be there to look you in your eyes and say you'll be alright. i almost lost it. held our picture, dropped it. got some scissors and crooped it. tears i couldn't stop it. we're the epitome of toxic. like my word isn't enough? don't tell me the things that you want.  why you keep saying you love me when you don't know what that is? but honestly you're an addiction that no rehab can fix. and to be real i have no clue what all of this is. cause one moment im done, then i don't know how to word it.  cause what's broken can be fixed, but what's fixed isn't worth it.  so I guess this that moment where i say that goodbye. maybe its not the happy endings but the way that we tried. not the drowning in your lies, but the reasons you lied. the special moments where we saw love in each other's eyes. but go ahead act like i don't understand how you feel. but no matter what i tell you i swear you never listen. all you say is that i don't get it, you don't understand me, just forget it. rain on your window pane, laying on your bed. talking for hours, just a blur in the end. emotional kids trying to feel something again. i wrote you a text, but i never hit send.  its hard for me to tell you that i love you too.  its hard to be together when it breaks you in two.  when you believe in someone so much you don't know what to do. i don't believe in meant to be, i believe in let it be. I don't want another promise, I need clarity. So am I wasting my time? Do you feel what I feel? I love the things you tell me, now tell me is it real? Love is a drug and I cant get enough. I guess I ain't giving up until it kills me. but I do have a mask and i aint taking it off cause I don't want anybody to see the real me.  maybe i don't knoe what i need. maybe im not really okay. ive been out here just doing me. I don't really know what else to say.
ib*
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gaydemiboy · 5 years
Text
One more bc why not
Alrighty so
Im sitting right now in bed just
Contemplating over what i just did
So, i dunno why but just remembering all these bad memories gave me the urge and need to
Somehow punish myself
I mean, i was a an asshole and a clingy little bitch (still am) and i just, dont deserve the people i have in my life.
I should be dead, honestly. It would make everyones lifes easier bc im always overcomplicating everyone's lives and making them worse.
I dont deserve to be here.
And me, being a little fucking coward, i knoe i wont kill myself at this moment. So instead ill make life even more difficult on me bc why not.
You see, i think you know where im going with this.
I cut myself and oh my gosh it stings like hell. But i deserve it.
Why am i posting this on here? Bc i know i wont talk about this tomorrow/later. And i know i shouldnt "bottle up feelings" and im just posting this on herr bc i know no one ever reads what i post on here except for everything i reblog. Plus, i dont wanna make people worry over me.
Im not worth it.
My s/o's currently sleeping along with everyone else. And i dont need to bother anyone tomorrow morning. I think there might be more of these posts in the future, but we'll see.
Signing off,
Jack
P.S. i used this
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Am i proud of this?
No.
But, whatever. No one cares anyway
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novadarkshade · 7 years
Text
You know. I seriously hate being so nice sometimes. I have having a caring fucking heart. Because assholes like my husband can fucking rip me to pieces just by getting mad at me. Take tonight for instance, he works nights. So his shift starts at 12. Here it is, 11:35 and he has yet to get dressed for work. Granted its fifteen minutes down the road but that isn’t the point. I had to tell him to get up. He was going to be late. Finally, 10 minutes of badgering him and he gets up pissed off at me. When I ask what, he tells me nothing I have to get dressed. And it’s just his demeanor. I cant stand someone mad at me. I cant stand upsetting someone cause it fuck with me. It makes me feel like im the worst person ever. I also can’t stand to be ignored. I over think everything. Anyways. He proceeds to ignore me while getting ready then finally he yells at me and says I am treating him like a child when im not. Because if i dont badger him, he wont do SHIT. and then proceeds to tell me he was planning not to go in anyways when he had tomorrow night AND Saturday night off. I told him if he had planned to not go in, he shouldve called this afternoon and told them instead of just not showing up. To add on to his douchebaggyness, he only responded to uh huh when I said I love you or yep. To add on more, he refuses to let me apply for assistance to put our son in daycare for four hours a day so i can work somewhere to bring in money. He refuses. He says he doesnt want our kid in daycare. If i want to work dine. Be his guest. I told him if i was to work, hes have to cook, clean, watch our son and do everytbing i do. And not stay on the game and not pay attention to our son. He just laughed. I am trying so hard not to cry because if I do, I’ll wake my son up i just got to bed an hour ago. I dont knoe what to do anymore. Anyone want to talk to me until I either stress myself to sleep or pass out? Kik:ladynovarose
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nguruvilu · 6 years
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#i try not to do this very often and ive actually been really good for a few months but in terms of my mental health today has been one of#the worst days of my life and i have absolutely no idea why and my swlf worth has somehow gone through the floor and i just feel like im#the most horrendous human in this planet and i look in the mirror and i want to be sick bevause i hate everything about how i look and how#other people see me and how strangely proportioned i am and hpw fucking disgusting my face is and then i think about the peopke i love and#i thi k about every single way in which im a burden to their life and feelike i have to constantly check that tge people i love arent angry#at me and they dont hate me and that they actually love me but theb im terrified that if i keep asking them theyre going to snap and turn#around and tell me how sick of me they are and my heart is constantly saying theyre going to leave you they never liked ypu to start off#with and i cant wven ask tgem if its true because the rational side of my brain is saying of course its not true whhy would anyone waste#their time with someone they dont care aboit but then i just genuinely camnot believe that anyone would have the capability to put up with#someone like me i just genuinely cant believe it because i cant think of one single thing about myself that is reedeeming from#literally being unable to do amything except eat and lie in bed and ive been at my boyfriend's house for a few weeks now amd i think when#hes at wprk amd i have the time to myself i thibk much more about who i am and i hate wvery part of it#i cant stand being alone with myself because even though i knkw im not really a bar person per se i cant bear who i am as a human and i#dont know how to change it and i wish i was capable of being on my own because even if i thought that someone i love is sick of me i could#argue that ill be alright but i wont be because im completely dependant on the love from other people to determine my self worth like i am#i was going to say completely worthless but i dont want tk say that#im just so scared of being alone and im scared that im ostracising myself from my family because i dont knoe how to maintain relationships#and i feel like im never goign to find someone who loves me unconditionally but then i think about how i dont deserve for anyone to lovd me#unconditionally bevahse all i am is a dissapointment and an annoyance socially beacaue if i feel like ive done anythi g wrong i basically#burst ibto tears and furiously apologise which in itswlf is so narcissistic of me to .emm#make the thungs that ive done wrong about myself by crying its not fair to everyone else that they have to comfprt me after my mistakes but#im so cripplingly terrified that the next thing i do wrong is going tk be the thibg that makes them not love me anymore and i dknt know wha#to do aside from stop making mistakes but somehow its impossible for me to stop bevause im a huge idiot and all i ever do is say things tha#will hurt peopke and thats all ive ever been able to do my whole life and even if i do something kind its entirely selfish because i just d#it to try and convince myself that i am actually a good person and even if i were to genuinely be abgood person im stilk insufferable to be#around but i feel like every time that someone looks at me funny or acts despondent like ive annoyed them im petrified that that was#the straw that broke the camels back like im so scared all the time that i just keep crying bevauae im sorry for what ive done vefore ive#even done it and i have more to say but i dont have any more ways of putting it but essentially i cant fucjing stand myself and i can only#think about how everyone would be much easier and much better off if i were not around#im sorry for this long thing
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itsudemoyoshiwara · 7 years
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[RP Log 7/27/2017] FFXIV | Fiore Brunelli
Fiore - Quell - Cedrick
Ala Mhigan Quarter
Quell Tyrbrandr mouth would open to let out a yawn, the two had wandered the small city for a few hours now and would seem to be resting their legs for the moment. Quell looked over to the horned woman, his gold hues inspecting her and then looking upward "...What will you do when you find your emerald dragon slayer?"
Fiore Brunelli looks over to her apparent companion with a start. She'd been staring at the arch at the top of the stairs, filled with dread. As much as she liked being out and about, the atmosphere was... not with good intent. "One would think that an ill placed question for one they'd just met normally, I'd think. Unless you're genuinely curious, miqo'te." Fiore spoke quietly, avoiding eye contact with Quell. He hadn't come off as too friendly on their journey here.
"What if he no longer breathes?  Such is the fate of most whom slay the dragons.  What if your quest was for naught?  Will you pick yourself up and continue on or will you give in on this life?" he asked sounding slightly concerned for the woman whom hired him.
Fiore Brunelli narrows her eyes at Quell. No longer breathes? That man? Nonsense. But even so... "I am not so foolish as to relenquish myself to the earth merely for a man, life-debt or no." She shakes her head, either annoyed or anxious. Possibly both. "The verdant dragoon gave me purpose, aye, but tis not my purpose simply to find him. Hydaelyn is far larger than Eorzea and I recognize that." Fiore Brunelli turns her gaze downward. While he had not been more than a catalyst, she would prefer to think him alive rather than dead. The miqo'te's words stung. She started up the stairs and beckoned to the man behind her. "No man shall be found should we stay here all day. Come."
Quell Tyrbrandr follows quietly! hiding his eyes from the bright sun with his hat
Fiore Brunelli eyes Quell suspiciously. Had she been too harsh? Despite the concern in the man's tone, he had come off as what she was taught to be too forward... "No quips, Quell?"
"Pray, let me remind you that you hired me.  The sooner we find this man the faster I can get back to my bottle of ales." he replied quietly, his eyes looking around at the hustle and bustle of the recaptured city and then to Fiore, his eyes locking into hers "Though I cannot say that I have not enjoyed this trip...these lands remind me of my home near the Sangoli Desert."
Fiore Brunelli flinches, a small squeak escaping her lips at Quell's initial response. Maybe she had been to hasty in enlisting his help. She had been wary to hire him in the first place, feeling that he had wanted more worth-while assignments. Her stomach knotted as his eyes found hers, but found herself taking an audiable, deep breath when he spoke again. "And here I thought you one not to speak much of yourself. Curious, that." She continued forward, eyes darting from face to face anxiously.
Quell Tyrbrandr stares at Fiore as she remarked on his thoughts of his makeshift home, he said nothing more and carried onward, a few men bumping into the man as they hurried along telling him to watch where he was going.  Quell quietly said nothing and kept following his companion.
Fiore Brunelli took a deep breath to calm herself. The combination of Quell's lack of response and the sheer number of faces within such close distance were overwhelming. Any of these could be that dragoon--her dragoon. She forced Quell's earlier words from her mind and bit her lip. Fiore could not allow herself to be discouraged. "Was that all you had to say?" she asked, shakily.  
Quell Tyrbrandr looked at her worry, his face forming a slight frown, he would then annouce loudly "Attention Ala Mhigan people.  I am looking for a man, Ala Mhigan, bores emerald armor and a spear.  A slayer of Dragons.  Would anyone here know of such a man or possible men that have come onto the service of the resistance?" he asked the workers
Fiore Brunelli turns to face her companion, eyes wide with fear. She rushes to his side, grabbing onto his sleeve hurridly. "Are you mad, miqo'te?!" Her eyes dart from face to face, her grip tightening on Quell's attire.
Cedrick Highwind sat here in relative dryness, looking over documents of relative insignificance. Upon hearing the miqo'te speak up loudly, he tried to ignore it before promptly hearing the words 'green armour' and 'dragon slayer'. Huh. He glanced over, looking at them both from over the rims of his reading glasses. A Miqo'te and a... Xaela? That was a rare sight outside the Azim Steppes. He did, however, keep silent. He would just watch them with the stealthiness of a goobbue in a Hingan porcelain shoppe.
"You want your answers you're not going to find them hiding behind a box, in order to garner your goals you must make headway on them." he said as he was tugged by the sleeve, freeing himself and then annoucing loudly again "I ask for a few moments of your time if you feel the need to give information, I am willing to part with some coin as a reward."  Quell said no more and would make his way back a bit
Fiore Brunelli felt her stomach drop twenty leagues as Quell continued to raise his voice. She looked around as people turned to stare, her heart rate spiking. The miqo'te had taken the stability of himself physically away from her and she began to panic. "Q-quell... wait!" Fiore squeaked out. Barely. She scrambled behind him, biting her lip. "There are more sublte ways we can handle this, one would think..." The Xaela woman felt much smaller than normal, suddenly, and hiring Quell was beginning to seem more and more liked an ill concieved idea.
Cedrick Highwind took a deep breath before speaking up. "How much coin're we talkin' 'bout, lad?" came the deep tones of Cedrick's cockney accent, raising his hand so they knew exactly whom it was that spoke, while at the same time motioning for them to come closer.
Quell Tyrbrandr as he walked with Fiore having a small meltdown behind him would stop in his tracks "Son i'm a lot older then I look and enough for a meal and possible bed for the night rather then sleeping outside.  Ala Mhigo and her citizens have seen enough of that." he's replied to the red haired male that has asked
Fiore Brunelli whipped her head around hard enough to give the poor woman whiplash at the sound of their respondant's voice. Her eyes immediately searched the crowd for the sound, resting on a large hand in the mess. The panic she had felt merely two moments before intensified with a mixture of excitement. Her stomach churned. Fiore Brunelli looked up at Quell, then back to the hand in the crowd and did not wait to push through the mass of workers. As she burst forward, the small Xaela woman stopped not a fulm away. "I'll pay you whatever you want!" The words shot out from her mouth before she could stop herself and suddenly, she felt very conscious of her volume.
Cedrick Highwind cocked his brow, "Calm yer breeches, lass and quieten down. Cum wit me." he stood up, storing the papers he was holding just mere moments ago somewhere on his body. If a glance upon them was cast, you might recognise the Ishgardian seal on it. He turned and made his way over to... a table further back, with three seats, "Hav' a seat, y'two."
Quell Tyrbrandr followed the red haired man to the back where it seemed less loud and out in the open, he was generally curious about what he had to say and what information he had to provide
Fiore Brunelli felt her eyes dart from place to place across this man's large, but familiar back as she followed very hastily behind him. If she bit her lip any harder, she might have drawn blood. He sat and she immediately took a seat at the table across from him, shooting Quell a quick, wide-eyed look full panic and anticipation.
Fiore Brunelli 's eyes fell to her lap after that, and she began to play with the hem of her skirt. A moment passed before she thought to apologize for her previous outburst, but recognized that the moment had passed and sat quietly, waiting for the man to continue.
Cedrick Highwind just glanced between them both, taking off his reading glasses and placing them on the table before them. "I take it yer not jes' lookin' fer a run o' th'mill dragon slayer. Not many o' 'em clad in green." he started, leaning forward, "B'fore I part wit me knowledge, I need ask; Whot is i' ye wont wit 'im?"
"She wants the man.  I am just hired to help sniff him out.  I'll let her explain rather than I..." he said adjusting himself int to the chair and allowing his sore legs to rest for the moment.
Cedrick Highwind glanced over to the Xaela since the ivory-haired Miqo'te gave his statement.
Fiore Brunelli felt her face redden as she felt the Highlander's gaze upon her. "W-well..." she started, her voice small, "I was looking for a man to whom I owe my life, as to repay him for doing so." The Xaela woman gripped her skirt tightly. "Twas that man who helped me leave the Azim Steppe and see the world, and by association he has given me so many things. As such, I feel a deep need to repay him... So--"
Fiore Brunelli stopped abruptly, finally looking up from her lap and into the face of the man before her. "I had not seen his face, but I will remember his gesture for the rest of my being. I would appreciate it greatly if you could lead me to him... Please."
Fiore Brunelli swallowed hard, feeling too awkward to keep eye contact. She let her eyes fall back to her lap.
Cedrick Highwind leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes and raising a hand to his cheek in quiet contemplation. "Azim Steppes, aye? 'Tis quite th' distance fer a smol thing such as yerself." he muttered mostly to himself. Opening his eyes and letting his green eyes settle upon them both, he spoke up with certain conviction, "I knoe nought of a... verdant dragoon, y'might say, that ain't me seeing as that's whot me comrades in arms call me." he paused, shrugging.
Cedrick Highwind "Sorry fer me deception, y'need understand 'tis tumultuos times in me homeland, aye?"
Quell Tyrbrandr "Then this quest hath come to an end.  Your prize awaits." he said looking over to Fiore offering a faint smile before standing himself up and giving the two some space
Fiore Brunelli continued to stare silently at her lap, unsure how to process the information provided to her. Had she heard him correctly? She flinched as Quell left his seat and became extremely conscious of the privacy he had provided the two of them. She lifted her eyes to look upon the man--the verdant dragoon that she had left home for--and bit her lip again. Despite thinking of this moment for quite some time, Fiore was at a loss for words.
Fiore Brunelli turned her gaze to Quell's back, hoping he wouldn't leave her here for long.
Cedrick Highwind just stared at Fiore, who seemed quite... unwilling to do anything but sit there. Cedrick stood up with a sigh and walked over to Quell, "Keep yer coin. Make a random beggar's day wit it." He said to him before starting to leave.
"Ye would leave this woman whom has spent many moons under my watch and guide like chaff in the wind?  Nay sir.  You will talk with her.  She holds you to much accord and respect, she hath done not but sing into thine ear about your deeds and praises.  Else i'll put in arrow in your arse lad." he growled as what appeared to look like Cedrick fleeing the scene.
Fiore Brunelli felt the slight pop of her teeth breaking skin as she watched the Dragoon stand from his seat and leave, wordlessly. "Ah--!" She too, stood and pressed her hand to her mouth. He had made his way to Quell, who seemed more agitated than she'd seen him on their journey here. This had gone not at all according to plan. Her stomach lurched again. Fiore was gonna puke. Or pass out. One.
Cedrick Highwind smirked. He cared not for the man's threat. "Sure. I'll listen while I'm doing me paperwork." is all he said as he made his way back to the table, taking out the papers from before as well as putting his glasses back on. He propped some ink and a quill out as well and started writing, "G'on then lass."
Quell Tyrbrandr looked agitated at Cedrick as he sat back down, he shook his head a bit and wandered a bit more away so that they could talk privately, he removed his hat for the moment and sighed.
Fiore Brunelli watched Cedrick as he sat back down, and once again back to Quell as he walked further away. Hopefully he wouldn't go much farther than he had? She turned her attention back to Cedrick after being addressed and sheepishly motioned to the hand she'd used to cover her mouth. "I hope you'll pardon me, uhm... Sir, but I've hurt myself," Fiore managed, her words muffled. "Though I will have to apologize, I'm not sure what to do now that I'm here..."
Cedrick Highwind took a deep breath, placing the paperwork on the table next to the ink and quill, before standing up. He approached the Xaela, and just took her hand and moved it away from her mouth, leaning in closer to inspect it. "Yegads, lass, why'd'ye do this?" he muttered with certain incredulity. He poked it with a finger, a soft wave of curative magicks flowing through to her to mend the skin. "Learned me sum conjury back during me time in Gridania." he explained. "So, whot's this about a debt?" Cedrick Highwind "Who are ye again? S'been like... wot, ten - twenty years since I've been in th' Azim Steppes?" it probably was less.
Fiore Brunelli flinched as Cedrick stood, steeling herself when he drew close. She wasn't sure what made her face burn more, the careless way he moved her hand away or when he touched her lips. Though, nothing about it was much to be worked up over, she had to remind herself. He was simply doing what you ought to have done, had you not been so stupid. By the twelve, his hands were rather large though...
Fiore Brunelli shook her head slightly, and returned her hand to her lips, touching the spot he had healed. "Ah, thank you," she muttered. Her gaze fell downward to nowhere in particular. "I would not expect to you to remember, but you saved my life once. As is per your, uhm... Profession, you slayed a dragon that I had encountered near my home."
Fiore Brunelli took a deep breath and continued, "Although, the sight of you... I had not seen any but my own kind. It inspired me to leave and see everything. For that, I owe you much more than just my physical form."
Cedrick Highwind cocked a brow, "... Are ye tryin'a bed me?" he grunted, going back to his seat to return to his paperwork, "No' that yer no' attractive but, not int'rested." he concluded, pushing his glasses back up, "Glad I could inspire ye though, I guess."
Fiore Brunelli visibly flinched at the mention of... intimacy? Her eyes grew wide and her face much hotter than before. "B-bed you? I beg your pardon? I--" She fanned herself slightly with one hand and cast a quick glance at Quell, who seemed to have dozed off or something. Fiore was more or less alone on this one.
Fiore Brunelli took a deep breath to compose herself and sat herself once more across from Cedrick. "I had not come here with impure intentions, I assure you. I merely wish to provide my servitude to you, should you take it. I could at least do that much, for as much as you have given me in my life since our encounter--though unintentionally."
Cedrick Highwind glanced up from below the rims of his glasses, "Err, look lass. Much as I'd like t'have me a sl--" he caught himself there, "a /servant/ pretty as yerself, I dun' think I did that much. I jes' killed a dragon, aye?"
Fiore Brunelli shook her head with enthusiasm. "Tis not all you did, I promise you! Because of you, I--" her words became more frantic, excited. "I have seen and done so much! I have known many places and people that I never would have, had you not saved me that day. Tis not a matter of simply saving my life, but also giving me one. Tis not an easy debt to repay. It has weighed heavily on me for some many moons, sir."
Cedrick Highwind sighed, "Well, if'n y'insist..." he grumbled, "Jes'... how good are ye at fightin'?" he asked, "Might've sum use for ye in me platoon."
Fiore Brunelli opened her mouth to continue, but stopped herself. Fighting? Mountain-dweller or no, she wasn't of great strength. "I have come a great deal to learn curative magicks myself, sir, but I am not so great in strength. Would your platoon have need of an experienced healer?" She swung her legs uncomfortably against the chair. While prepared to give her life for this man, who's name she still did not know, she would much hate to disappoint.
Cedrick Highwind gave a soft nod, "It'll doe. Chirurgeons are gud but, y'knoe, understaffed. Always good t' have a healer on hand." he paused, glancing at her, "Beg pardon but I dun see a cane or rod on ye?" never heard of scholars, fuck boy?
Fiore Brunelli beamed with delight at Cedrick's ignorance. She herself had felt that feeling a great many times and relished in the chance to educate someone as she had been educated. "You see, sir, I have studied the ways of Nymian scholars. As such, my healing magics are related to, euhm..." She pauses for a moment. "Faeries. I use a tome." Fiore pats the leather bound codex, secured at the small of her back. Fiore Brunelli continues, "I assure you, providing succor to your wounded is no issue."
Cedrick Highwind glanced over, "Ah. One o' them scholars. Rarely see yer kind in Ishgard. We see more o' them Astrowhatsits." he coughed lightly, a certain awkward silence washing over them before he spoke up again, "... Tell me, y'got a place t' live? Otherwise I've got a flat y'can stay in fer the time being." seeing as she's his sla- servant. :V
Fiore Brunelli bit her lip once more, but more to stifle a giggle than anything. "Ah, yes. Astrologians. Theirs are a Sharlyan based study. I had a fond time looking into that during my time in Ishgard as well." Cedrick's... blatant lack of either understanding or caring--Fiore couldn't tell which--was rather endearing. "As for my living arrangements, I am currently here on behalf of the Maelstrom for the... Euhm... 'Effort." Fiore Brunelli cleared her throat, "But if you should wish it, sir, I can change those arrangements. My loyalty to you is second to none."
Cedrick Highwind shook his head, "Nah. I'm here fer th' same thing, after all. S'not only cuz this is me home land, aye? M'still a Dragoon bound t' Ishgard. I was jes' wondering n'general."
Fiore Brunelli nodded in response. "As I would suspect. You /are/ Ala Mhigan, after all." With nothing else to say, she gave Cedrick a once over and waited for him to say anything in particular. She kinda wished she had gotten to see his appearance back at the Azim Steppe. She would have left much earlier than she had, if so. Fiore stifled another giggle and cleared her throat, her inspection of Cedrick, likely blatant.
Cedrick Highwind just kinda cocked his brow at Fiore, "... So..." he scratched the nape of his neck, "Whot's yer name, then?" is all he asked, the processing of what is actually happening just sinking down, "Wait." he blinked, "Y'would ditch yer entire life jes' fer m- Thal's balls lass."
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Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
"Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
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I'm looking for a cheap SR22 insurance Texas, maybe some special price just for Texas State. Any info? And what's a medium SR22 insurance cost? Thanks""
Free health insurance coverage in the state of California ?
My mother In- law has come to join us to live in the united states. I was wondering can she qualify for MEDICAL in the state of california. Free health insurance
Car depreciation/insurance question?
Let's say for the sake of argument that my car is valued at 2000.00 at the beginning of this year and my full coverage insurance on this vehicle is 500.00 a year. Now at the end of this year my car has depreciated to 1500.00. Shouldn't my full coverage insurance rate be adjusted to reflect the book value of the car and lowered appropriately and be dropped to say 400.00 a year? It's a hypothetical question and I understand that insurance companies won't automatically cut you a break if they don't have to. It makes me wonder if one needs to manually re-adjust their insurance rate every year to stay accurate and not pay more than necessary.
Looking for affordable health insurance?
My employer does not offer health insurance. Does anyone know of a private health insurance company? I was with Blue-Cross Blue Shield and they kept raising the rates. I don't qualify for any assistance due to low income. Also some coverage for dental.
Can my brother use my bank account to pay for his car insurance.?
My brother doesn't have a bank account and he needs to pay his car insurance using direct debit. can he use my bank account? Would it matter if it was my name on the account? also, If he had a crash would costs come from my account? I hope somebody can help.""
Is Believing in God Similar to Having Car Insurance ?
Believing in God is like having Car Insurance Lls HOPE is Beautiful If you get in an accident you are covered (safe) If not you just short and out of luck ...You can not rule out that God does or doesnt exist....I have Faith that he does so when I die hopefully I meet him...For the rest that dont have Faith they're just cool with the idea that death is just the End and that's their opinion They're not dumb to me at all
Car insurance......Anyone else's gone up this year?
I'm still driving the same car and living at the same address, and I also took off 2 other named drivers from my policy to try to minimise the cost but it's still gone up by about 60 pounds......""
How much of an auto insurance discount does a family get for having more than one car?
How much of an auto insurance discount does a family get for having more than one car?
Who is the best life insurance company that pays out?
I am looking into getting life insurance probably not term life insurance just regular not sure yet however a lot of my friends have had problems with life insurance companies not paying out even though they where still within the life insurance contract guidelines so I am scared..I have heard a lot of positive things about farmers and that they always pay out as long as it is in within the guidelines they provided when you signed up for the insurance . does anyone know of a company that for sure will pay out ? also can I take a life insurance policy out for my mother id like to do so because she does not have one so I am worried something may happen and I will be stuck with bills ? I know I will have ta pay more because of her age but that is okay with me I feel like it is well worth it as long as the company pays out any advice ?? Thanks
Where is the cheapest place to get renters insurance?
My land lord is requiring everyone to get renters insurance now so im just looking for the cheapest most basic insurance I can get.
Estimate how much car insurance would cost?
16 year old guy, with a 2001 Ford F250 Supercab, 160,000 miles. How much do you think insurance would cost per month?""
Can you sue someone if they hit your car and you don't have car insurance?
I was in kroger parking lot and a lady backed out and hit my car. we both got out of the car she ask me if i wanted her insurance and i said yes but would this do me any good if i don't have any insurance? She said we'll just send me the bill. She gave me her address and phone number. But when i called her to tell her the estimate she said she was not paying for it. it happen on private property so can i sue her even if i don't have insurance?
Will an insurance company drop a client if they get a DUI?
Will an insurance company drop a client if they get a DUI?
Question on car insurance and speeding ticket?
I was driving my friend's car and got a speeding ticket with 4 points (later reduced to 2 points). I didn't have my friend's insurance or my insurance in the car, but the officer let that one go. The car was from another state, and my license was from a third state. How will this affect the insurance rate? Also, I am under 21 and do not have my own insurance (I am under my parent's insurance) Additionally, is it possible that this could affect my friend's insurance rate? Thanks for the help.""
What's the best way to insure I get 200 grams of protein per day?
My Dad used to do protein shakes but his doctor told him to get the protein through foods, not the shakes. Now the consultant at my gym says I need 215 grams of protein per day to keep my muscle mass and build further but it's not like I can have a steak at every meal. Any suggestions?""
How do insurance companys notify you when your insurance goes up?
i was in fender bender yesterday (not that much damage but basically ran into the back of a lady that stopped immediatley infront of me) but was under my grandmothers insurances at the time and driving her vehicle. people have been telling me that my insurance will go up now though, Im under my parents insurance, so will the insurance company send a letter to my house like tomorrow? or when insurance bill comes the next time to be paid it will be a little higher? Will it state why? Thanks""
Finding restrictions on a California car insurance policy?
I was involved in a minor accident while driving my mother-in-law's car. I am on her policy, so assumed I would be covered, but was just told that I might not be because I was driving for work. Where on the policy does it show whether or not I was covered? I don't want to keep driving her car for work unless I am.""
Why do companies that claim to offer them the best insurance quotes sell leads?
I was shopping around for insurance quotes on my home and cars. Many of the websites that I came across claimed to offer the best quotes from different companies thereby getting me the best price. I started filling out a few forms and, for once, I decided to read the fine print ( you know that small font form we all click agree on). Basically what I found was that the company used 4 agencies that paid them to contact me. What the site was trying to advertise to me was that i would have he best possible quote in the world without having to call up the many insurance agencies around me individually. In reality the fine print ( which in the case of the Internet can be 25 clicks hidden) states that they offer quotes from companies that pay them. Why not state that the information I'm giving them is a lead and that people that get it pay for my information and those that don't do not get it. What about some insurance company that can't afford to pay for my information but can offer me cheaper insurance than those that do pay hat site? I wouldn't be so ticked off if these sites simply stated that they sell our information. Rather than try to make it seem as they find you the best price. False advertising is a cancer. http://www.4freequotes.com/web2000/agents/ http://www.netquote.com/about/media-kit.aspx http://www.netquote.com/affiliate/ http://www.2insure4less.com/insurance-leads http://adrianasinsurance.com/about_adrianas/terms/ Go to any free quote webite and read their privacy policy and the page that's made for affiliates/agents, you will clearly see how your information is sold.""
A question regarding health insurance for couples?
me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years now. i plan on proposing to her this spring, but we can't afford a wedding yet. i was wondering if me and her could get an affordable health insurance, or would we need to get married to do that? i was also thinking, that if we would have to prove marital status, that we could marry at a court house, then eventually i'd propose and have a formal wedding in the future. what do most couples do in this situation, when finding good health insurance? we're healthy, no illnesses and the only prescription my girlfriend has is for her birth control. i also plan to start my own business, so getting our own insurance would be essential. thanks!""
Car insurance over 2 years break?
i havent had any car insurance for 2 and half years but if i go back to whom i was insured with will i be able to retieve my no claims discount of 70%
Cheapest auto insurance company?
Cheapest auto insurance company?
Is it possible to claim repair costs on car insurance?
If their hasn't been an accident? i.e. If your car breaks down and their roadside recovery people have to tow you home,can you then get a diagnosis for the problem and claim it on insurance?""
How much am I gointo pay for car insurance?
I am 17 turning 18 soon and when I graduate I plan on getting a 2011 Subaru WRX STI or a 2012 Mustang GT . I was just wondering how much I am going to be paying for insurance on either one. I will be 18 when I get it, I am a male and have a clean driving record. Please help, this will most likely be the deciding factor for which car I get. I would also like to know which car you would get. Thanks!!!""
Which Health and Life Insurance Company?
I'm 53 and just become a self-employed. I want to have health insurance what is affordable and trust able. Also I'm thinking about a life insurance - any advice thanks, even in my private email.""
Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
What does insurance cover for a car accident?
one of my friends recently had an accident in his Honda city. The body was damaged. But the insurance company pointed to a line which says only 50% of cost of damage to 'rubber, nylon, plastic, tyres, tubes, batteries, airbags' and 30% of fibre glass..what else can get damaged in an accident? If the car is made of plastic and the glass with fibre glass, its basically saying we will pay only a max 50%? Does this exist everywhere or only in India? Can we take the insurance company to court?""
Will a medical suspension raise car insurance rates?
My wife has a medical suspension and is trying to get her license back. She has 0 points on her record. I know if you are suspended for stupidity (DUI, reckless driving, ect) then your car insurance rates go up, but do they go up for a medical suspension??""
How does an Alabama ticket affect Washington insurance?
I got a speeding ticket in Alabama last day of August for doing 52 in a 40, $200. I have two previous wrecks, one was not the considered my fault and my rates did not increase, one was weather related but my rates did increase. I am 20 years old and have no previous tickets. I know this will go on my record and that my insurance company will see when my policy is renewed, but I want to know if it will dramatically increase my rates? WA state does not operate on a points system like Alabama does so I'm confused on how it will transfer over. Any help is appreciated.""
HELP! Insurance company trying to low ball estimate?
Back in April I was driving and a lady tried switching lanes and struck my vehicle. I immediately went to an auto body shop and got an estimate for the damage, they took photos and everything. I've been contacting her insurance and dealing with this for over two months... I had to send them the police report because the woman tried lying and said I hit her, so I had to prove she was at fault. They would never return my calls. Until I talked to the field adjuster. He then called me yesterday told me he got the estimate from the body shop which was one of their recommended shops, and was mailing me the check for the damage. However he failed to tell me the check he was sending was for $1000 less than the estimate. I don't agree with this, what do I do? I called and no one will call me back from the company Also, I own my car outright. It's a 2004 tiburon is excellent condition. The insurance company was giving me issues about me wanting the check sent to me. I plan on getting the damages repaired that are necessary but leaving what isn't and keeping the money that's left over. I'm not even making them get me a rental for the time I don't have the car! Please help The company is American family.""
Do parents really expect their teens in highschool to pay for their own cars?
Its enraging when I hear my parents/parents in general tell their kids, who have their licenses to pay for a car yourself . Not even a split? A loan? These kids are still in highschool! Even after highschool in college, I just don't see how one can pay for even a cheap used car themselves unless they dedicate their life and save every penny for the damn car. People that age usually earn close to minimum wage, and if they spend all their time working instead of studying, that's all their ever going to make. Ex) my friend earns 9.25 hourly at a grocery store (he's worked there for a while so its not exact minimum wage), and works 40 hours a week. He is ALWAYS at work. At the end of the week, his checks are worth about 338 after taxes. A crappy used car is probably about 5000? I'm not fully sure. Someone that age would have to work 40 hours a week for quite a long time. Since they're teenagers, that would pretty much leave them no time for studying/doing homework and a social life in general. Don't parents want their children to perform well academically as well? Aside from financial issues of their own, why wouldn't a parent with a decent amount of money atleast agree to help their responsible teenager pay for a used or inexpensive car? I'm not suggesting brand new BMWs or mercades, but why not like an 06/07 used toyota or honda in good condition? Why not agree to help pay for.half or a smaller fraction of it? And don't they get sick of their kids always using their cars? What do you think?""
Quad insurance abd bike insurance ?
Jw if I get a 125 or 250 quad if the insurance will be similar to a bike or car same with tax Cheers
Premium vs deductible? Health Insurance?
I'm really confused by everything having to deal with Health Insurance. I know a deductible is what you pay before the insurance company pays the rest. But what is the premium? And are these two related?? Please Help.
Does an unattended parked vehicle that was hit affect insurance rates when claimed?
I came to my parked car this evening and discovered it was hit from the back bumper up along the side half way through the back seat door. It is dented and scraped pretty badly. If I claim this with my insurance will it affect my rates being that I wasn't there?
2nd car insurance by Geico?
Hi, I have a 2005 Toyota corolla and have comprehensive collision damage waiver from Geico (My policy covers collision damage waiver for my rental cars,too). I'm planning to buy a new car this week. Can I drive that vehicle off the lot without adding the VIN# to my insurance? How much time I have before adding them to my insurance? I live in California.""
""Could $5,000 cover the healthcare insurance premium for a family?""
If McCain's credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market the heck out of it? Obviously, it won't have all the bells and whistles, but people would be covered. There is the issue of the tax on the premium, but it still seems like a good idea. This link was interesting - it describes both plans clearly: http://money.cnn.com/2008/03/10/news/economy/tully_healthcare.fortune/""
What liability limits should I apply to my auto insurance?
My husband and I are researching new insurance rates. We have looked into Geico and are almost ready to buy the policy. We currently have 25/50,000 liability limits, but since we own our house and can afford a little more, we're looking into increasing our liability to 100/300,000. Is that OK? Or, should we increase the limits to 250/500,000? It seems unnecessary to increase it THAT high.""
What is the best car insurance company out there today?
I'm gonna get a car soon and I'm having difficulty picking an exact car insurance company to insure my car so I just wanted to read others opinion on what car insurance they think is the best.....if availabe tell me the pros & cons....
Where can i find cheap young drivers insurance in uk?
where can i find cheap young drivers insurance in uk
How much would insurance cost? (motorcycle)?
Hey guys, I was just wondering how much approximately insurance would be for a starter that just got his license, with the training course. This would probably be with a CBR125 (lol, just want to get used to it first) in Toronto Canada.""
How can a medical group charge different prices for people with insurance and no insurance and medicare?
is this legal to charge people with medicare a higher price to go to the Doctor than people that don't have medicare, I thought that medical groups are to charge less so medicare don't go broke and people with insurance, so there monthly don't go up higher""
What is the cheapest car & insurance combination a 17 year old girl can get in the uk?
basically, what is a cheap car that has really cheap insurance for people who have just passed? thanks""
""I got into a car accident with my new car before i could get insurance, help?""
I just recently bought a 66 mustang from a private seller. My mechanic took a look at it and said it was good. I went to go pick up the car from the seller, and while driving home, 15 minutes into my drive the breaks gave out. I ended up hitting a UPS truck. My passenger and i ended up going to the hospital for injuries. I did not have insurance since i was just going to drive the car home and not drive it until i got full coverage on it. The previous owner still has insurance on the car, and i have not been to the dmv to have the title officially signed over. I need help; legal advice would be great.""
Cheap auto insurance in gresham/portland oregon?
I just moved to Gresham, OR from the Dallas, TX area. I am a 19 year old female who has been driving for over 2 years and has never gotten in a wreck. In Texas I had auto insurance for $88 a month from a local independently owned company. All the quotes I am getting from popular companies here are unbelievably high. Does anyone know of any cheap independently owned companies in the Gresham/Portland Oregon area. I'm trying to shoot for my insurance to be under $100 a month. Please let me know, thanks.""
Help! sears auto employee insurance?
does sears auto center provide free insurance from any injuries during their work of hours for the employees such as mechanics
Insurance and childbirth?
i might be moving to oregon but im on my insurance blue cross of california.. does anyone know if they charge more to give birth out of state?
""What are the cheapest companies to insure me as a 2nd driver on a 1.2 punto (MALE, 19, UK)?
I'm a 19 year old male living in the UK in Birmingham! I passed around a 2 months ago! The cheapest quote I found was 1600 on a comparison site but it's too expensive! Is it worth getting a tracking device and alarm and stuff fitted? How else could I lower my insurance?? Could you recommend any other cars I could get instead of a punto? (no higher than insurance group 5 and no more than 3000) THANKS! =]
Will my insurance go up that much if I buy a Camaro?
I currently have a 96 Pontiac Sunfire and I have Erie insurance which through them I have liability only on my car and my rates are $60.00 a month....I am 18,19 years old next month and I found on craigslist a guy who is desperately wanting to get rid of his camaro and is willing to trade it straight up for my sunfire,as he and his gf are having a baby and she wants him to get rid of his toy....now this camaro is a 95,fully loaded automatic,t tops, leather interior etc...and my sunfire is the basic model,manual windows,locks etc....so obviously Id be making out very well in value....now I am on my own insurance and my mother chewed me out when I told her about me maybe trading for this camaro...will my insurance go up THAT much?""
How to get off an auto insurance policy?
about 2 years ago, my mom signed me up in the same insurance as her car...i do not drive her car and never did, however, we still pay 80 bucks extra a month, i want to get off of that insurance but i hear its much trickier than it seems. The car i drive is already insured, but not under my name. Is that legal or not? I live in illinois if that helps. how should i go about removiving my name from this insurance company?""
What are the chances of me 'winning' this car insurance claim ?
Yesterday i was leaving work , driving along a road , when a young girl ( 17/18 ) drove straight out of the car park on the left and hit my nsf wheel so hard it pushed my car 5ft across the road. She said she didn't even look to see if a car was coming. She has large scuff marks on the corner of her bumper, my car has a dented wing , wrecked wheel (which is no longer pointing straight ) . This girl is on her parents insurance. Her boyfriend was on his motorbike and said to me , he didn't believe she just did that , he saw it all. My insurance company says it seems straight forward - she was totally at fault, My car is not drive able. Husband ( mechanic ) seems to think i may need a new steering rack, wishbone maybe strutt , wing , alloy wheels ....they may write my car off as its value for insurance is 1200. Has anyone else experienced a similar accident or got any advice ?""
Do you have to pay insurance for the driver or the car?
my friends keeps telling me her parents wont let her get he license because it is 2,000 dollars a year to have a licence, for like insurance. Don't you only have to pay for a car? like if she was to not own a car and just borrow her parents when needed would she still have to pay insurance? I am so confused haha""
Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
Why should I compare home owners insurance companies?
We have owned our home for 13 years, and we have always just stuck with the same insurance provider we had when we first got our mortgage. I am not sure if the premium we are paying is fair or not. I have no idea what the rate would be to insure our home with some other insurance company. Is it really worth the time and effort to compare home owners insurance companies to see if we can get a better rate? How much lower could the premiums actually be, and could we really end up saving that much money in the long run?""
I am 19 in Texas. is it cheaper on insurance to do the whole teenager coarse or is it the same going adult 6hr?
My dad is wondering if it would be cheaper on insurance if I did the the three week teenager coarse or if it doesn't matter anf do adult which is one 6 hour class. Again I'm in Texas and a guy and know about how its cheaper for girls on insurance
How Much Is Car Insurance? Please Help?
Ok See im 16 and i have a 1990 Pontiac Firebird and I have a Junior License Year: 1990 Make: Pontiac Model: Firebird Trim: Engine: 6-Cylinder V-6 Trans: Auto Fuel: Gasoline Color: Black Interior: Grey Miles: 170000
Life insurance for my parents?
Hi i am interested in taking out a life insurance policy on my parents in the UK just wondering if this is possible and whether it can be shared between me and my siblings many thanks.
Is my terrible credit rating going to affect my insurance premiums if I pay monthly?I?
I'm buying a new scooter in the next week or so so I can get to my new job. I've got a terrible credit rating from being over zealous with credit cards and loans. I can only afford to pay monthly for my insurance. Because of my credit rating, is there a chance I'll get turned down to pay monthly and have to pay my whole premium one go? Also, my previous insurance company has cancelled my old policy because I didn't pay the bill. I never recieved any letters or anything saying they were going to do it and as far as I was aware my money was going out as usual. Is that going to count against me as well?""
Car Insurance Policy When Not Vehicle Owner?
Can anyone help? My boss has bought me a car but because Renault were unable to put the finance agreement in the company name it had to go in his name, which meant that the ownership of the vehicle did too. Not the problem I have is insuring this car as insurance companies won't insurer me as the driver if I am not the car owner unless the car is owned by a spouse etc...so, I am assuming that the only way round this is for my boss to be put as the main driver and me as an additional driver...if this is the case what will happen if I have an accident or conviction, or he does? Also what about No Claims Discount as I previously built up 3 years on my old car. Please help I really don't know what to do! Thanks""
""My homeowners insurance dropped me, what am I going to do?""
I had two claims in two years. They won't renew, my policy has expired and I can't find anyone that will cover me. Anyone sell insurance? I had a claim last summer when a limb fell through my camper. The insurance paid out $500. October 2007 I had a pipe burst in my foundation they had to pay out $22,000 that time. Right now I'm uninsured and nervous.""
What is the difference between term insuarnce and whole life insurance?
What is the difference between term insuarnce and whole life insurance?
Car Insurance Question?
I was in a car wreak where it was the other persons fault....already determined by the police. I live in Tennessee by the way and I didnt have insurance at the time..even though I went out and got it an hour later. My question is who is responsible for paying for the damages to the person who hit me? Their insurance is already fixing my car, but the lady who hit me was driving her dads car and she only had liability but not on the car she was driving. Does she call my insurance company to have her dads car fixed even though it was her fault? Whos insurance pays for it? Or is she just outta luck?""
Is insurance expensive for a 17 year old Riding a 125 ped?
i live in bromley south east london/ kent i have recently bought a Gilera Runner VXR 180 Reg as 125, im using it for college and seeing family, i have completed my C.B.T Bike is road ready MOT&Tax could anyone give me a guestimate on how much it would be on your previous experience and any good companies that insure young drivers ? thanks alot (P.S if you would like too right a smart ar*e comment please dont do it on my post, im asking for advice not a lecture)""
What is a good cheap first car to get?
Ok so I'm 17.. learning to drive and want to know what would be a cheap to run but good car to have, whats cheap on tax/insurance etc.. I really have no idea about cars thanks""
How can i get disability insurance?
I think i need disability insurance for wife because she is disable through accident.
What is the best affordable dental insurance.?
How much for 1 person and is there a deductible? (Wow I actually have a serious question.)
Does auto insurance.... ?
if lets say i hit a car with my car and the other guy claims the accident does the my auto insurance investigate the accident at all or do they just fix the car without asking questions??? im comfused
Why wont my insurance insure me ?
im currently paying 350 for a 125 honda varadero ( on learners ) then i passed my test ( im 19 ) i upgraded cost me 27 to get pillon and change to big licence. Then i asked them to do me quote on a 250 ninja r, so i can get insured on that and they said the insurance doesnt cover me you have to cancel it and go some where eles. what the ****?""
How much would the insurance be on a 2014 Corvette?
Ok so I'm 16 and a half and my cousin is going to get me a 2014 Corvette stingray for my birthday. And was wondering how much the insurance would be.
Can I get Car Insurance in Texas without a D-License?
Can I get car insurance without a license. I'm located in Texas. Is there ways around to do it?
How much do you pay for Manitoba car insurance?
How much would an 18 year old male pay for car insurance? If you are that age or around there please tell me your age and what car you drive. I was interested in comparing w/ Manitoba because I live in Ontario and apparently my dad told me its 1000-1500 dollars a year!
How much Vespa costs to run in london? better use tube?
hi l want to buy Vespa (with cash) and lm wondering how much it costs monthly to run it? with fuel + tax + insurance? is it worth it? or better stick to tube (117 per month) any experienced Vespa owners?
""What comes first, insurance or the car?""
When buying my first car, what comes first? Obtaining car insurance, or buying the car? I know you kinda can't have one without the other, so how does it work?""
How much would insurance be for a 16 year old with a v8 truck?
I'm looking for a first car. I need to know the price of insurance for ford or Chevy truck with a v8 before I can go out and buy one
Should I go through my car insurance company or not?
My car was parked on a decline, stalled, and ran into the back of my friends wagon. My repair quote is about $940, hers is about $615, at a total of about $1555. The excess I have to pay towards insurance repairs is $1045 (standard excess, age excess for being under 25, and some flexi-excess p.o.s). At the moment I only have enough money to fix her car, although that means waiting another few months to fix mine, and I'm impatient. Hers needs to be fixed asap for roadworthy and registration. I also have the option of finding a new bumper for hers at a much cheaper price, although that is proving difficult. Also, my insurance company only likes their choice of repairer. My panel shop has done jobs for the company before, but I'm not certain if they will let me use them. I won't have anyone else repair my car, as the money was going to go to repainting a new bonnet instead of repairing, which insurance won't cover. On another note, I'm not sure how long going through insurance will take. So my question is, do I go through insurance, even though I might not get to use my panel shop and it will cost me almost the same? Or do I leave it, and do what I can to fix my friends car cheaper? Then just suck it up and wait to have the money for mine, therefore also saving a rise on my insurance premium and a drop in my rating.""
I rang up Tesco Car Insurance today and they sent me away?
Hello, I rang up Tesco Car Insurance today, this women spoke on the phone and her first question was asking for the policy number, and then I asked her a question why they increase my insurance and she said everywhere is the same, they are the cheapest, and then she told me to ring somewhere else to get a quote and then phone us back. Thats a good customer service. What do you guys think about this situation?""
Does State Farm homeowners insurace typically cover foundation damage?
I have a big water leak in the basement. Water is leaking from between the flooring and the walls. The house is about 75 years old. Do homeowners policies usually cover fondation damage? I can't find my policy to look. I'd like to have a general knowlegde before I call them during the work week. Thanks!
What is some good cheap car insurance for young adults between the ages of 18-24?
And I mean car insurance that you don't have to pay over 100 dollars for.
Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
Berlin Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 31722
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/need-find-affordable-health-insurance-maya-spencer/"
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