smash or pass ? 😇
smash or pass
2007
Her cheeks burn red and as soon as the last syllable leaves his mouth, she looks away, hands toying with her flip phone nervously. "...S... smash." It comes out so quietly she's not sure if he can hear it.
Present
She takes in a deep breath through her nose, sighing on the exhale. "You're beautiful," she says honestly, "But hard pass." Her feelings are more complicated than that, but one thing is simple: he is a danger to the kids, and that makes him off-limits, no matter what she feels.
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For the first time ever, i failed a term paper. The lecturer opened the conversation with the words "you handed in an excellent term paper. Really, A+!" And then continued to point out to me what she liked most. And then told me that that one bitch that was tormenting me last semester had copied all of the notes i shared with her for our presentation. Which is why she can't let me pass because while she Knows it's not my fault she couldn't prove it to anyone if questioned about it. So we both fail. But luckily for me, i get another chance. The 15 minutes i talked to her were truly refreshing
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Love how one of my irl 'friends' thought I'd be devastated that she hadn't even looked at my messages in over 2 weeks and that she had so many messages. Like babes, i have 3 fan accounts, but whatever.
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Hello, my dear! Love that you/others enjoyed my thought and rambles! Speaking of emojis, because I'm a bastard, can I be 🍆 anon??? If that's taken, I could also go for 💦 anon?? Also, forgive me for any spelling errors, wrote this at 2 am
* ----------- * ----------- *
Vee's Dom 2: Even More Rambling (because these idiots won't leave me alone)
- If their dom ever become famous, which is likely, and the fans create edits of them, the Vees would absolutely save those vids and watch them over and over again (Imagine walking in on them watching edits of you LMAO, or even you coming over to where they're sitting cause the sound keeps looping and it's obvious that they're watching the same video straight)
- Let's talk about the clothing situation here
* With Vox's freaky ass wanting to keep you close always, it's probably led him to steal your underwear, and might even wear it, but you'll never know. I can also see Val doing the same thing but being hella more shameless, enough to even show YOU that he's wearing them and if you want them back, you better take it off of him
* Velvette probably has taken more comfier clothes, things you would wear for staying in, like old shirts, band tees, or shirts that are well loved
* Valentino has tried, and failed, to return some of the clothes he took. It's kinda hard to take those clothes back considering they look more like rags with how many holes and substances covering it.
- With a built dom
* Velvette will "off-handedly" mention about creating clothes that cater to more muscle-y/bigger builds, and will insist that she needs you to model/do photoshoots for her (she's definitely not using this opportunity just to have more photos of you flexing in HD)
* Vox will 100% build you a personal gym in the tower, but said gym will be covered in cameras/cctvs, all pointed in different directions
* Val would ask you to train his actors, and he will watch supervise said sessions, just to make sure the actors do right (which is totally not a reason for him to watch you flex on his workers)
* Obsessed with pinning Vox to the bed, I bet he'd find it so fucking hot that everytime he tries to close his legs, we just pry them open.
- i know I've talked about punishments, but what about rewards??
* Letting Vox cum as much as he wants (though by the end of it, Vox might start to wonder if it's more of a punishment instead of a reward)
* Willingly let Velvette mess around with some of your clothes/putting you in different fashion designs/putting makeup on your face
* Dare I say even let Valentino call SOME shots during sex, again, SOME shots (do remind him that even if he tops you, he's still your bitch)
- Also rotting in my brain regarding these whores:
* what if you were more powerful in terms of magic/connections/influence/money? (I just know my problems would simply ✨ disappear ✨ if I had a muscle mommy/daddy)
* what if they met you via social media and they immediately hivemind that "yes, this is my dom, right here" ? Like let's say you're an entertainer/dancer right, and one of your viral vids had been a dance to don't go insane (it's the belt dance, boo if you're curious)
* Being in the limelight also means being in the subjective eyes of everyone, and I know for a fact that the Vees have a lot of haters/threats, but what if you protect them from it (bodyguard scenario????)
* ----------- * ----------- *
I forgot to say this during my last ramble, but, If I may, I would love to absolutely read one of your takes regarding my sub!val ideas, but only if you want to/feel for it.
Btw, on a totally unrelated sidenote, I know the blog is primarily hazbin hotel, but I gotta ask, how we feeling about Arcane Sevika?? Cause I am feeling a lot (missing my muscle mommy as fuck bro)
Anywaaays, have a good day!
xoxoxoxo ❤️
This has been in my drafts for almost ALL WEEK and i’m finally coherent enough to give my thoughts!
Can I just say how much I love the Vees with a well built reader. Like I have no real character study-ish explanation for why in my brain i’m like “they’d be obsessed with that.” But I know for a fact it’s absolutely true.
I’m going to focus on your little side notes at the bottom though. So if they met you through social media I feel like you would definitely start off knowing Velvette first. But even before they start talking to you they would absolutely stalk your page and send fucking edits or something back and forth.
But the Vees with a very powerful reader is very interesting to me. Because like while yes, they’d love to be totally on top of hell, but it’s very convenient for them, and hot and hot and hot, to have your support. Because like super powerful big scary respected dom privilege mixed with their constant self entitlement and attitude? And if anyone says anything about it you fucking destroy their status, business, or hell, even them simply because you can. “Do you think you’ll kill for me one day?” “Yes, of course I will, my love” TYPE BEAT AHHH.
And that leads us to the bodyguard idea because jesus christ. Like this is literally such a mix of the well built buff reader and powerful one I just talked about. Also they would argue for your attention 1000% worse in this case.
ALSO CAN I JUST SAY, YOUR SUCH A BASTARD FOR LITERALLY BEING 🍆 ANON. you’re literally DICK ANON. are you proud 🤨🤨
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I Bet You Think About Me
pairing: wednesday x reader
cw: angst, cheating, tyler galpin.
note: you should know that I made morticia and gomez the mean rich type of people to fit this.
summary: catering your ex-girlfriend’s wedding was certainly not what you wanted to do, but it proves to be fruitful as you get to say goodbye— and taunt her.
song: I Bet You Think About Me (feat. Chris Stapleton) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift ;).
proof read like once. I’m finding a lot of mistakes because I’m tired LMAO.
SEND IN REQUESTS BASED ON TS SONGS!
:—-:—- —-:—- —-:—- —-:—- —-:—- —-:—- —-:
It had been exactly three months since Wednesday had called off your relationship. She claimed you were too childish and that you were just too different from her— that you couldn’t fit into her world. Looking back on it now you can only laugh, the true reason why Wednesday broke up with you was because she was too scared of the consequences.
Despite what she claims and what others believe, Wednesday does care about what her family thinks. And her family, the richest and most powerful people in all of New York, had high expectations in who she would date. They certainly didn’t think (or even know) that Wednesday wanted to date someone below her status, below her age for that mater. Nine years wasn’t too bad, but her parents wanted Wednesday to be nine years younger than her rich, male lover. Unfortunately you didn’t fit any boxes where it mattered.
But as you’re catering her wedding, watching Wednesday dance with her new husband, you really can’t help but chuckle. Wednesday’s been staring at you for the entire event, and you know damn well she’s been thinking about you. You see it in the way she eyes your work attire, — a tight, clad semi-formal suit— and in the way she frowns the moment her husband draws her attention away from you. It’s obvious.
Buts it’s only until the service is almost over that she approaches you.
“Hi.”
You look down to the glasses you’d been cleaning previously, trying to help out your friend with his own job. “Mrs. Galpin, is it?”
Wednesday scoffs, arms crossing over her chest. “Yeah, it is now.”
You nod, wiping a white cloth against the crystal glass of the cup. It’s almost as thick as the tension between you two.
“Look, I want to tell you that I’ve moved on, and that I think it’s really immature of you to show up here.”
Your eyes widen drastically as you stare at Wednesday and her audacity. Grabbing her by the wrist, you drag her into the nearest storage closet so you can scream at her. She doesn’t stop you because she wont dare to make a scene with her filthy-rich family here. Her wrist in your hand brings up dead memories, memories long buried under sadness and anger.
When the door clicks shut, you finally turn around to yell at her. “I’m doing my job, Wednesday. I didn’t have a choice because unlike you I can’t just wait until my trust fund opens. As you’ve made very, very, very, clear, I don’t have one!”
Wednesday rolls her eyes, her fingers adjusting the hem of her dress. “Just don’t cause anything. You and I both know that you were always dramatic.”
“Oh, I’m dramatic? You got engaged a week after we broke up to please your parents.”
“We were never going to work out! I like him! It wasn’t for my parents.”
“I don’t have to be one of your many shrinks to know you’ll never be happy with him. In fact,” you step closer to Wednesday, rage clouding the thoughts telling you to leave it be, “I bet you think about me.
“You’re out here marrying rich, handsome guys and trying to chase a status your parents want you to have, but I bet you’ve never felt so locked up in your life.”
Wednesday shudders, her cold gaze darting around your face.
“Why’s that?” she asks, still trying to act like she’s in power.
“Because you never felt more free than when you were with me.”
Wednesday gulps, her head whipping to the storage closet as she tries to not look at you. She fails, and proves your point beautifully. You shake your head, disbelief and disappointment the only thing you feel.
“Goodbye, Wednesday. Enjoy the wedding and let me do my job peacefully.”
Your hand retreats from the wall behind her, when they got there you can’t remember, and you turn around. Wednesdays hands reach out to grab your face before you have enough time to register what’s happening.
Her lips are still just as soft as they were that night she left you. Her kisses are still sweet and passionate, always expressing what she can’t say through words. You sigh, forgetting about the wedding, about her parents, and about her husband waiting for another dance just beyond that door.
It doesn’t take long until your fingers thread themselves in her dress and then you remember all of those things and more. You remember why she dumped you— why you have to let her go. You pull away harshly, taking a few quick steps back and sprint out the door. Wednesday doesn’t bother chasing after you.
You run to your friend James, alerting him of your well-earned break that you decide to take. He nods, waving you off as you dart out of the venue. The early spring snow sets against the slush and you sigh. The cold grounds you, remembering the night three months prior.
You shift on Wednesdays lap, laying your head on her shoulder. She’s reading in peace, a book her friend recommended, you recall. Her friend had claimed it had changed his view on life, and had told Wednesday it would do wonders for her. She was only reading it to poke fun at it.
The movie in the background was long forgotten by you, your eyes instead lining her jawline and the soft curve of her nose.
“Wednesday.”
“Yes?” she asks, flipping the page over. She doesn’t look at you, or even stop reading her book.
You’ve been noticing this for the past two weeks now, her attention has been dwindling. Wednesday’s become more stressed and angry. Fights have been more frequent, at least two every other day. It’s always over minuscule stuff too, like how you dress, where you work, how Wednesday doesn’t like the way you hold your fork, or the way you laugh like a kid. You told her maybe it’s because you are one. After all, you’re twenty two and she’s thirty-one. Wednesday ignored you for hours that day.
“Will you put the book down?”
“Why?” Again, no eye contact.
“Because I want to have a real conversation.”
“We are.”
You scoff, swinging your feet off of her thighs and stand up, the book getting knocked to the floor. You don’t apologize despite her shouts, instead you grab your keys and shrug on your coat.
“Where are you going?” she demands, hands trying to grab the keys out of your pocket.
You swat her away and tie your shoelaces. “For a walk.”
“The hell you are! It’s eleven at night and December, it’s too late and too cold.”
You ignore her again, swinging the door open and skipping outside. Wednesday doesn’t follow you, but you don’t need to look back to know that. The door slamming tells you enough.
That night when you got home, a clear head and a fresh apology with you, Wednesday called you childish. She told you that dating you was a mistake, that meeting you was one. And then her bag of belongings— you remember frowning over the fact that she only had an unpacked bag of stuff— was thrown into her corvette.
It didn’t matter how much you clung to her, begging that she didn’t do this, she shrugged you off and left without so much as a glance back.
When your five minute break was over, you walked back into the wedding and continued working. Wednesday wasn’t anywhere to be seen for the rest of the night.
Maybe it wasn’t the goodbye you wanted, but it sure was a loud one. All you can hope is that Wednesday is tormented by what you once had, because at least you can certainly bet she thinks about you.
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HI!! I’m the original anon that asked abt the bsd fnaf au and!!! Oh my god it’s so interesting!!! I love your choices for the characters… especially Yosano as the puppet and dazai as Michael afton it fits both of their characters so well and just !!!!
YEah so Dazai was definitely the original reason I started thinking about this au. Firstly to give him unnecessary trauma, but also I think Dazai being in a hero/protagonist role is far more interesting than him being the mastermind to the plans. Need more of Dazai getting rough and dirty. Actively grabbing the plot by the reins. I'm tired of how he gets used by asagiri. I NEED HIM TO FAIL.
So firstly, Michael is a really cool character (for such a barely present one) because he's simultaneously a bad guy but also a person trying to do good, and definitely not a hero. It fits well with Dazai's premise. Alternatively I think Michael being a zombie, a ghost possessing his own corpse, would be an interesting concept to apply onto Dazai. Dazai who believe he's No Longer Human, and craves death because he doesn't want to exist, because living is painful. Now in this au Dazai actually died, but he didn't stop existing. He should be dead and gone but he isn't, he survived, but he's still undead and decaying. He is literally no longer human but now he longs to be human. Life was painful but death is Excruciating, and Dazai never liked pain.
I also think the dynamic between Dazai and Q is far more darker twisted than whatever Mike and Crying Child had (considering Q said Dazai was the reason of their suffering, and Daz seems to genuinely detest Q). But if you recontext them into a normal sibling dynamic, it really could end with Dazai accidently killing Q.
Anyways misc things about fnaf!Dazai: I think the timeline would be: 14 during 1983, 16 in 1985, 17 when Elise dies, 18 in 1987 (in order to get an overnight security job), between 18-22 for Sister Location when he dies, and 24 for Fnaf 1 in 1992. All the dead kids have a personal connection to Dazai in a way, which is why he continues on with his mission. Shortly after Elise's death, Dazai learns about Mori's crimes and tries to get Fukuzawa to help him take him down, but Fukuzawa refuses, so for majority of the story, Dazai is on his own, until he finally reconciles with Golden Feddy (aka ghost Q and Aku) and they team up.
here's him. He usually has a security uniform jacket on but I wanted to make it known that he still does the bandages. He wears a wig and illusion disks(lmao. if you know, you know) to look a little more human. And Dazai never wore bandages except for his arms before he died, and he always covered the bandages with his sleeves. After being scooped, Dazai wears bandages more to hold his body together. He has a lot of exposed leftover wires from Ennard and a lot of torn up patches of skin. He also has the hollow possessed eyes like the other ghosts.
Onto Yosano as the Puppet! I don't have as much to say because I thought this was a relatively obvious decision. Mori's first victim. Her healing powers can fit in a way to the Puppets life/possession giving powers. She's Fukuzawa's daughter in this universe. she's 11 when she dies.
Here's her Ghost Form :)
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ok we got more
the gang dealing with their each f!greaser crush. Like they all like different girls- but how tf are they with them/about them
Pookie sorry for the wait I was at school!!!
❤️🖤❤️
Ponyboy Curtis
-ok so bro is sooo awkward, most out of the greasers
-he literally doesn’t know how to talk to you
-needs a pep talk and lesson from dally and johnny
-he would be down so bad tho
-struggling in classes? Free tutor!
-he would do little nice things for you though like always keeping a spare sharp pencil in hopes you’ll forget/lose yours to ask him
-memorized your schedule to “randomly” bump into you
-daydreams 24/7
-tells you all about his books and talks about characters that remind him of you
-I feel like when he finally confesses he’d just do it thoughtlessly
-“You know how much I like you?”
-literally out of the blue and then instantly regret it until you grin
-“Ponyboy, you’re so smart. Yet so stupid. I like you too.”
Johnny Cade
-soooocute
-he’s also a daydreamer
-well, more like night dreamer?
-before going to sleep in the lot he thinks about you holding him or just you in general
-so cute tbh
-absolutely a secret keeper no one knows but him
-he blushes whenever you talk to him
-he gets really flustered trying to talk to you
-I feel like he’s the type to do secret admirer
-when he finally gets the guts to ask you out he would 10/10 pass a note
-“I really, really like ya y/n. Do you like me? Y or N (circle one)”
-biggest grin on his face when you pass him back the note circled “Y” with a heart ❤️
Sodapop Curtis
-totally a flirt
-gives you discounts on gas station stuff
-whenever you come to the gas station charm goes up 10000%
-he’s the type to go home and at dinner be like
-“GUYS today she asked me for the TIME!”
-“no way”
-“WAY”
-he’s literally that one audio
-he asks you out straight up and gives you a sweet smile when you say yes
-passes you his number on your receipt/piece of paper to make plans
Darry Curtis
-wouldn’t want his brother around you until it was official
-finds them embarrassing in front of you 💀
-one time you complimented his cologne and he hasn’t stopped wearing it since
-he always tries to look nice for you, I feel like he takes extra care of his appearance
-I feel like he would try to come off cool
-I feel like it would fail so hard lmao
-I feel like after he failed you’d give him a little kiss on the cheek like Darry you big dork
-and he’d grab your hand and look you in the eyes
-“You know, I like you, Y/n. Really like you.”
Dallas Winston
-ok we’ve seen this shit
-cocky bastard 10/10
-he flirts upfront
-hits on you everytime
-also casually so fucking vulgar
“If you ever wanna sit that fine ass on my-“
“DALLY!”
-catcall vibes 💀💀😭
-literally the most obvious guy ever
-I feel like you’d play hard to get
-yk keep his ego checked
-but I feel like you’d need to make it clear you were looking for committed
-and at first, he wouldn’t be into it, but over time realize… he really doesn’t want to break your heart
-when you finally go on a date you end up making out first date 💀👍❤️
Two Bit Mathews
-he does stupid shit to impress you fr
-whatever he thinks you’ll like him to do hes alr on it
-shoplifts stuff for you that he thinks you’ll like
-cracks jokes fr
-he tries to woo you with humor so hard
-it does work
-I feel like he would actually try to tell you he likes you through a joke
-and actually get kinda flustered in anticipation
-“what has two thumbs and likes a cute girl named
y/n? *says quietly* This guy…”
-you giggle and kiss his cheek
-“Me too, dummy. I like you too, two.”
Steve Randle
-he’s definitely more flirty
-he flirts with you fsfs
-I feel like it’s not quite as charming as Soda, not quite as vulgar as Dally
-smack dab in the middle
-fixes your car for you and is always suggesting you come there for free repairs
-TOTALLY not so he can just talk to you and be around you in general
-he would whistle to you tho “lookin good there baby”
-when he finally confesses I feel like he would be a bit nervous and tries to hide it so much he tells you completely stone faced 💀
-“I-Uh… I like you.”
-such a serious voice 💀😭👍
-but he gives you a smile (rare for him) whenever you say that you like him back
-I can’t stress this enough… FREE HANDYMAN!
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This fic of yours is so good! Even though i hate kiyoomi for being such a bastrd😣 i feel like i can relate to the reader so much! The reader really deserve better! Not only she is failing but her boyfriend doesn't love her anymore and cheating on her😭 i really can't imagine how hurt is that😭 did u plan on writing a part 2? Kinda wish he's regretting or begging her to come back tho:')
Anyway, welcome to tumblr!:)
was really thinking of doing a part 2 !! so here it is. hope u like it 🍰
in which kiyoomi sakusa begs for you to come back.
sakusa x fem!reader, kita x fem!reader, angst, they fought and like punched each other, mentions of bokutitties LMAO
part 1
© sakusafilm. do not repost.
nine years.
you spent nine years of your life with kiyoomi sakusa, just to fall apart.
you always believed that people, indeed, just come and go. some of them will be just seasonal. your high school friends, your college friends. for some reason, you lost a lot of connections through the years. and it's not like someone's at fault, it just happened. because, well, people come and go.
but with kiyoomi, you never expected it to happen.
you were so sure that he is someone that you will spend the rest of your days with. you were so sure that he will marry you someday. you were so sure that he is a permanent one. he wasn't just a boyfriend or a partner, he was your bestfriend. so you never expected it.
although you knew that falling out of love hurts, it was the betrayal that is killing you. because falling out love isn't inevitable, but betraying you... like he never loved you... is beyond all of this. it's his choice.
after leaving sakusa's apartment, you moved to a smaller one near the hospital where you're working. you had nothing but some personal things that you tried to fit into your one and only luggage. but that's fine, you know you won't be staying at home much. the plan is to tire yourself out until you pass out.
you chuckle at your own self-destructing thoughts. you want to pass out and find out what hurts more, slamming your butt against the floor or kiyoomi's words. ah, you're going crazy for real.
for the next three months, that's what you did. work your ass off, volunteer doing the things you don't have to do so that you'll have an excuse to stay in the hospital. you basically lived there and if it weren't for some upperclassmen who nagged you, you really won't go home.
your review for the next licensure exams did not stop while brainstorming about your next individual dissertation. and you love tiring yourself out for things like this. you prefer this than think about kiyoomi again.
“sakusa kiyoomi for the first service ace of the game! nasty as always!”
today is different.
you can't escape him and his famous ass today. everyone, like literally everyone, is talking about the next match between adlers and black jackals. this is a highly anticipated match—so every phone, laptop and television around the hospital is on it.
after the adlers lost to jackals a few months ago, this is the most awaited revenge.
you're scribbling random notes in the quarters as your colleagues cannot contain their excitement towards the game. some are throwing awkward looks at you. they know your relationship with kiyoomi, and even if you didn't talk, it's obvious that you're over because of the continuous dating articles about him for the previous months. your colleagues never asked why, but they are hardly trying to be sensitive towards what you feel. you appreciate that, but they don't really have to.
you really understand how kiyoomi is famous and you cannot avoid him all the time so when their stares became too bothering, you looked at them, “just enjoy the game, guys. stop staring.”
“s-sorry, doctor!” someone said, “we just—”
“it doesn't matter to me, so please don't mind me and just enjoy watching.” you chuckled at them.
it's a lie, ofcourse. it does matter to you.
and even if you understand that kiyoomi is famous and all that shit, it still hurts. just hearing his name hurts. hearing and realizing that he's been doing so well hurts. because... why are you the only one miserable? why does it seem like you're the only one who got hurt? he continued in winning, being admired, being loved.
it felt unfair.
“bokuto caught the ball with his titties again!” they laughed, “he's literally my favorite, god! i'm starting to think that he's actually practicing that move in training!”
“better put that chest to use.”
you wanted to laugh and watch with them about the game like you used to. but you cannot endure seeing kiyoomi again even for a second because even after six months since that day, no progress has been made.
even if you work until you pass out, or read and try to retain information in your head—you still remember him. you still love him. and who can blame you? god, you fucking spent almost half of your life with that man. you grew up with him. you showed him parts of you that you can never show to other people. you believed him, you know. genuinely.
“seems like msby will win again.”
you wanted adlers to make msby eat dust this time out of bitterness, but that's not happening at all. seems like everyone in msby trained so hard for this match. atsumu miya is on fire with his sets, shoyo hinata showed new moves, kotarou bokuto can even joke and play around, and kiyoomi sakusa isn't being playing around with his spikes. he has always been so competitive with volleyball but today, there's something different about him. like... he's mad and going insane at the same time.
seems like you have to wait for another game before it's msby's outside hitter 15's turn to eat some shit.
kiyoomi scored so much with his spikes in the game. if it was an official game, he probably became the mvp. in the locker room, atsumu glanced at sakusa who's been staring at the floor too much. bokuto hummed as he tries to read the mood of the room and shoyo made face, trying to make him shut up.
“stop staring,” sakusa, as always, has some great intuitions. everyone knows that. that's why it's a riddle for the three boys why he did what he... just did. to be frank, they are annoyed by it. especially atsumu. he knows how much you love his moody teammate, he watched how much you supported him from the sidelines.
“you were on edge the whole game,” miya commented, “it was a nice game but you have to know that being angry disrupts a lot in the system we built during practice.”
“i...” sakusa tried to search for words, “i'm just a little fired up earlier.”
“you're not fired up, omi.” miya says, “you're so mad, you're trying to ease the anger in you.”
“shut the fuck up. are you a therapist?” sakusa scoffs.
“it's so obvious.” atsumu answers, “you fucked up real bad. hope you know that.” kiyoomi looks at him, “and no, i'm not talking about the game.”
he knows. he fucking knows.
forgetting kiyoomi sakusa is the hardest thing you ever tried to do your whole life. the memories are following you around. taunting and haunting, like those dreamlike days suddenly became a nightmare.
you know exactly what you need to do: move on. there's no other way but to move forward. you cannot let sakusa have the luxury to ruin more things for you. you deserve better than mopping around for a man who left you first.
so after a year, you started meeting new people. a lot of colleagues tried to set you up with a date with their friends. you agreed, ofcourse. you're single, a professional, beautiful. you can definitely agree to it. and these dates reminded you how huge it is out there.
it was fun and amusing to see men try so hard to please you with what they have. one time, you had a date with this lawyer who just talked about the cases he loved handling. it's pretty interesting for you. a lot of them are really interesting. but not consistent.
“you better have fun, dr. __!” dr. uchinaga has been nagging you to meet his nephew for a lot of times already. he waited until you finally agreed, “my nephew is a gentleman. very responsible and smart. i really think that this will work out.”
he's a senior doctor in the hospital and you couldn't reject it, but to be honest, it's making you curious too. he's been sweet talking about his handsome and responsible nephew for months now, and even told you that the man likes you too. at last, it's happening.
this one felt different. you don't know why but this makes you nervous.
you arrived at the restaurant five minutes early from the time that dr. uchinaga told you. it's a michelin five star restaurant in the middle of tokyo, very famous to tourists because of their traditional japanese food.
“uh, a reservation under dr. uchinaga—”
“a reservation under dr. uchinaga—” you looked at the man who spoke in unison with you.
“kita shinsuke.” you almost choked on air. you blinked, couldn't believe the gray-haired man infront of you. your lips parted as you stare at him.
“i think we should be together tonight.” he uttered with the same confidence you remember from years ago.
no way. yes way.
you're dumbfounded as you stare at kita shinsuke but when you managed to offer his arms to you, you mindlessly took it and walked with him inside the restaurant. this is a joke, right? kita shinsuke? the kita shinsuke? inarizaki's former captain? your high school crush?
he is your date tonight?
your heart is racing. something about seeing shinsuke again after years is making you excited. god, you were head over heels for him before you met your damned ex. back then, everyone's gushing over the top five aces of japan or the miya twins, and then there's you admiring shinsuke from afar.
you admired the calmness in him. you admired his precise words. there's nothing extraordinary about his plays but no one can beat him in the mindset department. he is not just book smart, he is wise. especially if compared to teenagers back then.
“do you—”
“do you—”
shinsuke chuckled, “you first.”
you chuckled too, “oh, i was just going to ask if you remember me but then i remembered that it has been like... ten years? so... this is probably a coincidence...”
“oh, not really.” he answered. your lips parted. your face doesn't show it much, but disbelief is crawling under your skin. but, he doesn't know you. or atleast he didn't care about his admirers back then.
“my uncle showed me a picture of his favorite junior. i wouldn't agree to this if i don't know you,” he says, you figured that out, hell! that's just so him, “so yes, i remember you. and i bet you... still remember me?”
“i do!” you quickly told him. damn, how could you forget? you remembered travelling to hyogo just to watch their final match. you brought a banner you did to cheer for him. you were such a fangirl back then, “i do... remember you. i mean— i—”
he chuckled, “let's not talk about high school if that makes you awkward.”
shinsuke made sure that you are comfortable with him throughout the dinner. he is true to his words. he did not ask about high school and kept asking about work. you decided that it would be fun to go to skytree after dinner and he agreed.
you already know this since high school but kita is different.
all this time, you talked to people who wanted to impress you. you never felt that with him. is it because he's confident enough? you're not sure, but you feel like it's deep rooted to the fact that if this ends, it won't be his lost, but yours. dr. uchinaga is right, he has a very responsible and amazing nephew.
“if you don't mind me asking...” he said, “you're not with—”
you looked at him, “i am not with him anymore. yes.” you looked at the view from the skytree.
lo and behold, japan's night lights.
“i think i won't be here with you if i have a boyfriend...” you chuckled.
“right.” he chuckled back, “it's rude to say good to hear, right?”
“yes, that's rude, kita.” you laughed.
the drive home was fun. shinsuke insisted to drive you. he talked about the farm and how he just went to tokyo again for a little vacation. he's staying in the suburbs, loving his best life quietly. and you can't stop yourself from answering, “that's so you.”
it's embarassing. it's as if you know so much about him!
“you know me well,” he commented, “what else do you know about me?”
he gave you a small smirk, you chuckled, “oh, i know a lot. like the way you watch your teammates whenever they are in game like a fox. or the way you clean the comfort room in inarizaki—”
he suddenly laughed, “alright, alright. you were such a fangirl back then. to be honest, the cheering doesn't matter to me.”
oh, you know.
“but when you started not showing up in games, it kinda felt dull.” you were stunned, “so if you ask me if i remember you, i do. you are loud everytime we are in a match and i don't have a lot of supporters back then compared to the miyas, so... kind of hard to forget, honestly...”
“thought you were annoyed by those cheers.” you told him.
“i didn't mind. that's all.” he answered you.
when you and kiyoomi started dating each other, ofcourse, you stopped supporting and going to kita's games. but now that you're out here, hearing what he thinks of you years ago, you cannot help but ask yourself: what if you rejected sakusa? what if you continued supporting shinsuke?
“i can go home from here.” you told him when you saw the convenience store near your apartment. he stopped the car slowly, “thank you for today. i had so much fun.”
“me too.” he smiled, “i'll go home to hyogo tomorrow but will be back for the weekend again. would you like to... uhm...”
“see each other again?” you asked him, “i don't mind, if it's not a bother to you.”
“it's not.” he immediately told you, “i would love to know more about you.”
your stomach felt heavy the moment you stepped out of the car. you waited for kita to drive away first before you started walking home.
the thought of being back in the first stage of getting to know someone makes you feel... angry. kiyoomi actually wasted your time. the years you spent together. and now, you don't fucking know you can actually do this again because the fear of shinsuke dropping you once you invested everything to him is inevitable. it's already rooted in your trauma.
if a man who was with you for nine years can do that, what more for a man that you just met again today?
you sighed at yourself. you have to stop thinking for a moment. it will be okay. kita is so different from kiyoomi. and besides, he's just trying to get to know you. it's not like you'll enter a relationship immediately with him.
“__,” you stopped walking. your heart stopped. your hands became cold as you slowly face the man who called your name.
in a black hoodie, black ballcap and black facemask. lean and tall with his curly hair, after a year of trying to build these walls against him, you realized how you haven't made any progress at all. sakusa kiyoomi stands across from you, the only thing you can see are his eyes.
the lamppost where he's leaning is lighting his face up.
“sakusa.” saying his name again has a bitter aftertaste.
“can we talk?”
“we have nothing to talk about, kiyoomi.” you firmly told him, “leave.”
“just tonight, just... hear me out... baby—”
”do not!” you exclaimed, tears threatening to fall, “do not fucking call me that... do not fucking come here like it's my fault that i don't want to talk to you... do not fucking come here like i should listen to you! because i don't! i owe you nothing!”
”ofcourse... ofcourse, baby...” he removed his mask and took a step closer. you took a step backward and looked at him again.
“it's been a year, sakusa. just leave,”
“it's all my fault. i know.” he says, “i have no excuses. i did it. i kissed another woman. i betrayed you. i ruined everything. i ruined us. i could rest but i chose to do the shittiest thing that i could ever do to you. i wasted everything. it took me a while, but i know that now.”
“and what do you want me to do? take you back like nothing happened?” you remarked, “i am not a pushover, sakusa. i you genuinely loved me, you will never do that... you will never even think of it... but you still did...”
you turned your back from him.
“i miss you so much,” god, he's so cruel. he's a fucking asshole for doing this to you. and you can't allow this. you can't be tamed by this, you can't forgive him so easily, “i am stupid and foolish. but i still love you, __. i just want to tell you this, i just want you to know. you don't have to tell me anything. but when i told you, back then, that i don't love you anymore... it was my pride talking for me...”
you still love him too. but if there's one thing you learned from all of this: it's love being not enough. it's not enough to make you stay. it's not enough to forgive. because you can be angry to those who you love, and that's okay. those feelings are messy and confusing, but they are valid.
“it's over, sakusa.” you said, stopping yourself from tearing up in front of him before finally walking inside the apartment.
but for kiyoomi sakusa, it's not yet over.
after that night, he constantly sent you gifts at home and at the hospital. it varies from flowers to chocolates to snacks to coffees and everything he knows that you love. sometimes, he would wait infront of the lamppost again but you won't stop walking and you won't give him even an ounce of attention, leaving him in emptiness.
on the other hand, shinsuke has been so consistent too. video calls on your free time, dates on your day offs. he would travel from hyogo to tokyo consistently to be with you. he's making you try new things— that secret starbucks recipe, the pink tulips that you hated before, the dark chocolate that you never tried because you were so inlove with the milk chocolate.
“thanks for today, uh,” you stopped tracking of the dates you had with kita already, “do you want to go to my apartment? it's just, uhm, you told me that you want to see this new netflix movie and i also want to—”
“i'd love to.” he smiled at you, “don't be nervous, it's just me.”
you smiled back at him. it's been five months. for others, it may seem fast. but for you, it's already slow enough. shinsuke has been so considerate enough.
he held your hand as the both of you walk to your apartment. it's still early and you're so sure that kiyoomi won't be waiting outside. you're so sure— until you saw his figure waiting. your eyebrows furrowed and you stopped walking. shinsuke looked at you.
kiyoomi is standing there, holding a huge bouquet of red roses. immediately, kita figured it out, “think i have to go—”
“no you don't,” you looked at him, “please don't go,”
he looks at you and slowly nodded, holding your hand tightly as you walk with him. sakusa stands up properly, looking at you and the faux haired boy holding your hand tightly. the bouquet fell on the dust. regret, anger and pain crawling in kiyoomi's system. sakusa knows kita shinsuke, your crush. before him, there's kita.
“__,” sakusa called your name.
kita stares at him.
“please leave, sakusa,” you said, “you see, i don't have the time to talk to you or to even treat you like a guest. just... leave...”
your eyes met his and slowly, a pang of guilt and pain went through your system. these days, you've been thinking why that sensation of guilt and pain has been washing through you whenever you look at him, despite being angry. despite of everything he did.
is it love? you don't think so.
or maybe it is? you're unsure.
because if it's love, maybe it's the love you had with him back then. the love he wasted. the love he discarded like trash for temporary pleasure. and maybe, you will keep hurting for him, for the both of you, because you will continue to grieve for the lost chances. you will keep hurting for each other and think about your what could've beens. you will keep grieving for the memories and the photographs you shared. you will keep hurting for what hurts because you're human.
but it doesn't mean that you'll want him back.
slowly, kiyoomi bended his knees. kita's eyes widened, and yours too. he kneeled in front of you. his pants being dirtied by the dust on the ground. like a bouquet of flower losing his it's life, sakusa kiyoomi is begging you to come back to him. right now. in front of shinsuke.
“stand—”
“you jerk!” shinsuke took his collar and gave him a strong punch, “stop making her feel guilty! stop bothering someone who is doing everyone to forget about you! you wanted this! you ended things! you—”
”kita,” you calmly called his name, “please stop.”
shinsuke calmed down with that, moving away from kiyoomi and going behind you. he got too carried away, and now he's letting you handle this on your own.
“go home, omi.” after so long, he finally heard you call him by his nickname again. making him tear up.
“i don't know what's home anymore,” he whispered, just enough for you to hear.
“then build one again.” you answered, “nurture one again. start over again. because omi, this isn't home anymore.”
“is that what you tried to do?” he asked.
you nodded at him, “i changed the way i drink my coffee. i changed my favorite flowers. i really don't have to, but it helps. it helps a lot. i changed my routine. i built a home from nothing when you left me. and if i could do it, you could do it too.”
“baby—”
“kiyoomi, forgive yourself. we are just meant to fall apart.” you whispered.
“i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry,” he said.
“you were amazing and painful to love. you brought me feelings that i never thought i could feel. and the past nine years of my life has been such a rollercoaster ride. i am still thankful to you, for taking care of me, for loving me, for enduring me. so please go home... go home and rest... because you can't keep doing this anymore...” you said.
silence embraced the three of you. the wind is almost whistling to your ear. your heart is racing as you grasp kita's hand.
kiyoomi slowly nodded and looked at you, “are you happy? genuinely,”
you nodded at him.
sakusa looks at you tonight like he will always love you. and you remember him back then, being so in love with you. tears started falling through your cheeks.
it's over.
kita shinsuke is inlove with you.
so when you started not going to his matches, it started being so dull for him. the annoying, loud girl is not cheering for him anymore. he never envied the attention that the miya twins has been getting but it sure as hell good to hear someone shouting his name from the audience.
you found out that you're dating sakusa kiyoomi in social media. he knows that it's you, because you have that smile in your pictures with him. and then he thought, right, she's from itachiyama. it's even a riddle for him how you managed to travel to hyogo everytime he has game. but he shouldn't be thinking about that now, because he will never see you again.
until it's not what happened and he managed to see you again. for a date. does that mean that you broke up with kiyoomi sakusa? after all those years?
when he confirmed it, he couldn't let go of the opportunity. he doesn't care if he travels from tokyo to hyogo every single day, that's what you did for him in high school, anyway. he will answer your call in a blink of an eye, hear your rants about that toxic colleague that makes it hard for you to work.
“shin!” tears filled your eyes as you hugged your boyfriend of two years, “i can finally have my second specialization!”
your dreams, your aspirations, your hard work. he loved every bit of it. he loves hearing about it.
“ah, i'm so proud of you,” shinsuke chuckled to your ears, “marry me.”
you chuckled, “i will. next week, right?”
finally.
you realized that time was never a factor. it is not a hindrance if we don't let it be one. a nine year relationship could fail and a two year relationship could be your happy ending, you will never know.
there's only one thing you know, though.
you and shinsuke... you love each other.
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May I please request something for Kate Bishop x reader? Even a part two for your latest Kate fic almost.
Reader hangs up her suit and stops being SpiderWoman after losing May, and both Kate and Yelena can see her starting to spirl. (Maybe Yelena helps her with the anger and grief of losing May.)
i'm all skeleton and melody [K.Bishop]
pairing: kate bishop x parker!reader; (platonic) yelena belova x parker! reader
summary: kate calls for backup when she realizes how underprepared she is to help you deal with your grief over losing may.
warnings: mentions of character death [mainly may but there's a quick natasha mention, i'm sorry]; heavy mentions of grief + references to depression; smaller serving of angst with a huge side of hurt/comfort and yelena being supportive in her own way; kate being a golden retriever gf who doesn't know how to stay
wordcount: 1.6k
a/n: can i just say good grief is one of my favorite fics i've written so a request for a part two was a wonderful surprise? i've gotten attached to a lot of my mini-universes but this one is special to me. yelena has a bigger role in this part because i said so :) also, the gif above was my inspiration for one of the scenes and i think it shows lmao. anywho, hope you enjoy <3
* * * * * * *
People always talk about the five stages of grief but what they fail to mention is that grief is a never-ending cycle.
Sometimes you can reach anger and go right back to denial. Or reach acceptance and fall into depression again. Reaching the end just means you’re ready to fall back to the beginning and start fresh once more.
People make it out to be a process, and in many ways, it is, but it’s not an easy one to deal with. Even when you have loving and supportive people by your side.
Sometimes, having those people around can actually make it worse.
Which is how you wound up where you are right now, locked up in your and Kate’s shared bedroom, refusing to get out of bed or even open the door to your kind-eyed girlfriend.
Your guilt about shutting the archer out, literally and emotionally, is overshadowed by the pain that grips your chest every time you breathe. Pain that nothing can take away, not even Kate Bishop.
The truth is, you started slipping the second May died. You tried to hide it, and you honestly succeeded, until it became painfully obvious that you were ignoring the Spidey suit hanging in the back of your closet.
Any time Kate or Yelena asked, you mumbled something about how you were taking a break. It was more than understandable…until said “break” turned into you not eating, not sleeping, and shutting both of them out of your mind and heart.
Yelena handled it the way she handles most things, by silently watching until she found all the signs that told her you really weren’t doing well. Kate, on the other hand, did not handle it as well or as casually as her blonde best friend.
It would have been annoying if you didn’t love her as much as you do. She meant well, there will never be a doubt in your mind about your girlfriend and her clumsy yet good intentions. Her sad looks were more than you could handle, though, and her whispers of encouragement only served to remind you of what you lost.
So, when it became painfully obvious she couldn't help you on her own, she did the only thing she could think of. She called Yelena and begged her to talk you down from the metaphorical ledge you’re on. The one that told you you didn’t deserve to be Spiderwoman anymore, not when you were responsible for the death of the only family you had left.
“y/n!” Your self-deprecating spiral comes to a stop the second you hear Kate’s voice again. “I know you can hear me. Please, babe, just let me in.”
You can hear the tears that cling to her eyes even through the door that separates you. It should be a reminder of how much your girlfriend loves you but in reality, it only furthers the disdain you hold for yourself right now.
The warmth of the blanket you’re hiding under is no replacement for Kate’s strong embrace but you can’t find the strength to get out of bed. It’s not like you’re happy about it but you can’t do much to lift the heavy weight of grief that holds you down.
At least not on your own.
You can barely make out the sound of the archer’s voice but you don’t understand the word she says. Much less who she’s saying them to.
“I just want to help,” she says for the fifth time, earning herself yet another one of Yelena’s eye rolls.
“Yes, I know, you have said that a million times already.”
“I just don’t understand why I can’t go in there with you. She’s my girlfriend.”
“y/n isn’t in a good mental place, Kate Bishop. You will only get hurt.”
“Isn’t that exactly why I should be there? I’m supposed to be the one taking care of her when she’s not doing okay.”
“Put the puppy eyes away, you’re staying outside.”
“Fine…But-”
“No.”
The hushed sound of voices turns into the tell-tale sound of the doorknob being messed with. You assume Kate is attempting to pick the lock again so you merely sigh and turn onto your back, staring at the ceiling and trying to erase May’s face from your mind.
You feel a familiar exhaustion starting to creep in when the bedroom door slams open.
“I thought you said you were going to pick the lock!”
“Do not be a baby about it, Kate Bishop, you’re rich.”
“It was a nice door.”
The ghost of a smile appears on your face at Kate’s complaint but the reaction is more subconscious than anything. It’s almost like your body reacts instantly to your girlfriend even while your mind is struggling to stay afloat.
“Stay.” You miss the glare Yelena throws Kate’s way but the sound of footsteps approaching manages to register in your mind.
Your first instinct is to hide despite how ridiculous of an idea it is. You reach for your blanket and throw it over your face to cover your tired eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
Yelena sighs but makes no attempt to force you to face her. She may act like a jerk sometimes but she cares a lot about you and Kate…mainly you but the archer doesn’t need to know that her playful insults aren’t always completely playful.
“y/n,” the blonde says softly as she sits down next to you. “I do not want to be the one to tell you this but your girlfriend is losing her marbles over you.”
“Yelena!”
The Russian mumbles some curse words you don’t fully understand before continuing. “How do you live with her? She is more annoying than her dog.”
“Don’t bring Lucky into this,” you murmur, deciding only to speak up to protect the loyal dog’s honor.
“I would say I’m sorry but I am not. It’s nice to see you’re still alive.”
You don’t remove your (literal) safety blanket but you feel Yelena’s hand find your own over the fabric. A moment passes before you stick your hand out and allow the blonde to intertwine her fingers with yours.
It’s a wordless action and yet it brings tears to your eyes. You’re not sure how or why but you don’t dare fight against the emotions that gather in your grief-stricken body. “I wish I wasn’t.”
“You don’t mean that,” she replies, no traces of her usual sarcasm in her tone. “You’re just upset.”
The word doesn’t even begin to cover how you feel. It’s like your mind is painfully aware of how alive you are while your body is more than happy decomposing within the four walls of your bedroom.
“Try devastated.”
Yelena either doesn’t understand what you mean or she happily accepts the replacement. “Okay, you’re just devastated. Staying inside isn’t going to bring her back, you know?”
“You’re one to talk,” you mutter despite how harsh your words truly are.
Fortunately, the Russian might be the only person you know who is able to take that harshness in stride. “You’re right, I did awful things when I learned what happened to Natasha. But I didn’t do it for her. I did it for myself. Because I thought it was the only way to cope.”
You take the words for what they are, a reminder that you’re not alone. That you’re not the only person to almost succumb to the powerful anger hidden within the sadness and regret. What happened to May is miles away from what happened to Natasha, though, and somehow the comparison only makes things worse.
“It’s my fault she’s dead.” All the tears you had been holding back finally fall, forcing you to accept the reality you’ve been trying to escape from all these days. “I got my mom killed.”
“Don’t say that. You don’t know that-”
“Of course, I know that.” You use your free hand to pull the blanket down and finally face Yelena’s affectionate gaze. “Who else is to blame if it’s not me?”
“Try the homicidal maniac with a glider.”
Yelena groans and the familiarity of the scene helps to ease some of your pain. “What happened to staying outside, Kate Bishop?”
“y/n needs me.”
The words are simple in nature and they’re nothing you haven’t heard before but the reaction they bring out of you isn’t one you’re used to.
Thankfully, Kate crosses the space between you without you having to say anything.
Yelena tries to move away but you tighten your grip on her hand before she can get too far. She rolls her eyes at you but accepts the silent request, choosing to remain seated by your side while Kate literally climbs on top of you.
“You guys are strange.”
You’re too focused on the relief of having your girlfriend’s body back on top of you to argue back.
The archer lazily wraps an arm around your middle while her head rests on top of your shoulder so she’s able to glare at her best friend. They only last a few seconds before they start arguing about something so you close your eyes and let the sound of their voices drown out the memories that threaten to come back.
“Hey.” Kate’s voice is a mere whisper against your tear-stained cheeks. “I love you.”
You don’t have to open your eyes to be able to see the sincerity she exudues with every breath she takes and every look she gives you.
“I love you too.”
It’s not nearly enough to get rid of all your pain but it’s enough to remind you what you’re fighting for every day. You’re fighting for the ones you love. Even the ones you’ve lost.
And maybe fighting won't bring them back but you don't need to. Being with the ones you have left is more than enough for you.
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do you think ashley and andrew would have kids
(pre-emptive mentions for abortion and child abuse)
i've talked about this extensively with a friend and i'm very excited i can share this now actually!!! please let me answer this with basically a mini fanfic summary
two actually. it's incredibly fucked up lmao. ashley gets pregnant and her response is IMMEDIATLY oh yeah no fuck that i'm getting an abortion but because of all the demonic satanic shit that fetus has literally been influenced by otherworldly energy and it just doesn't take. like literally not. ashley goes to get an abortion and by the end the abortionist is dead, starts heavily drinking, at one point she just pays a guy to punch her as hard as he can in the stomach a few times but it doesn't work so anyways that's how their first kid is born! ashley fucking hates them and makes that clear every day of that probably future anti-christ's life. she pushes him down the stairs at one point and he's just in the couch unharmed afterwards, abandons him in the middle of nowhere on the interstate and when she gets home there he is watching tv. she just groans and just accepts this is life now and any attempt to get rid of this kid is gonna be thwarted by demonic looney toons bullshit.
she hates the fact this kid gets in the way of her time with her brother SO MUCH its unreal and probably tried using him as a tar soul for a demon offering once but it didn't work since he's also partially demon (she had a backup guy just in case though). at one point though he asks "hey can you make me a little brother or sister" and her response is "i fucking hate having you why the FUCK would i have a second one" to which he's like "if i have someone to play with i'll stop bothering you as much-" and that's when ashley stops taking birth control without telling andrew
she actually treats her daughter MUCH better because not only did she plan this one but she tries to spoil her to one-up mommy too. she tries to spoil her daughter just so she can one-up her mom's memory of being a shitty parent to her by heavily favoring her second-born instead. like if the first kid asked if she could drive them to the candy store her response would be "fuck off and die." her daughter does though? well she doesn't drive her but she does go "awww sorry kid, gonna go on a date with your dad soon- but here's an extra $20 if you wanna go walk, get yourself something nice ok?" her daughter is three things: yet another way to tether andy, a way to make her first kid shut up, and perhaps most importantly to her a way to one-up her mom's spirit in hell
andrew DOES try to be a good dad especially in the routes where he's more assertive but he still sucks shit lmao. it's pretty obvious he's also not equipped for this emotionally or mentally and his co-dependence with his sister takes priority over all. they both THINK they're better parents than mr. and mrs. graves but the apple failed to fall far from the tree it's just another awful generation of this family who themselves will probably just continue to perpetuate poison forever
tl;dr: yes they do and its awful. poison simply produces more poison in the end
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i would love to see a heeseung x m!reader fic that have an academic rivals to lovers trope when they're both fighting for the valedictorian spot and both realizes their feelings for each other🥰🥰
he's so AKNENSKLNS sir pls have mercy i beg of you
pairing: student!heeseung x student!male!reader (he/him pronouns) genre: fluff word count: 1.4k
warnings: mentions of internalized homophobia
includes: reader being bad at math (specifically calculus), heeseung being good at math (specifically calculus), pls notice how i tried to reference the beginning at the end of the fic lmao i hope the self insertness of this one isn't too obvious
got a ton of inspo from this prompt list by @urfriendlywriter !!
a/n: thank you for requesting !! i really like the rivals to lovers trope but this is mostly pining oops this idea is really cute :)) i hope you like it <33
requests open !! read my rules first
lee heeseung.
you’ve been competing with him for the acclaimed position as valedictorian since he first arrived at your high school with big brown doe eyes three years ago. despite never really interacting with him, an unspoken rivalry had formed between you over the years. his presence alone seemed to drive you into wanting to be better than him.
which is exactly why your current situation was less than ideal.
“i’m sorry, y/n,” mina sighs. she had been your seatmate for the past month. you almost envied her ability to master any subject without studying nearly as much as you did. “i don’t really understand it either.” you can barely hide your disappointment at yet another failed attempt to find a study partner for your upcoming calculus test. math was never your best subject. “maybe you can ask heeseung. i’ve heard he’s really good at it. and he does tutoring on the side!”
“yeah, maybe.” you glance over your shoulder at said boy. he’s sitting at his desk, flipping through a textbook as you wait for the bell to ring and officially release you from the class.
you glance down at the set of problems you need to learn before sighing once again. they’re too complex for you to learn in time for your final exam and you can’t risk losing top spot. not when you’re so close to graduation.
the shrill ring of the bell confirms your decision for you. you quickly shove the textbook into your bag before walking over to heeseung. “hey,” you say.
he startles, looking up at you with wide eyes. they mirror the nervousness you had first seen in him on the first day of school when he awkwardly stumbled through the various hallways in search of his classes. “hi.” his voice is sweet as he greets you.
“i’m really sorry to ask but i could use some help on the latest unit,” your hands anxiously play with your backpack straps. “mina said you tutor people on the side and i wasn’t sure who else to ask.”
“i’d love to help,” to your surprise, heeseung agrees immediately. he smiles at you as he stands up. “when are you free? we can meet up at a coffee shop or something.”
“i have some time tonight. i’ll meet you by the south doors?”
“sounds good. i’ll see you there.”
“great!” you watch as heeseung slips away into the crowd, making his way to his next class among the sea of students. you’re quick to follow his lead, clutching your bag a little tighter as you walk across the school to your own classroom - history.
after a short introduction, your teacher writes down a group of pages in your textbook to take notes from. as you scan through the various different paragraphs to search for any relevant information to write down your mind drifts.
your building anxiety about your math final is soon overtaken by heeseung. you’ve always found him handsome - ever since you first saw him when he was accidentally late to your science class because he had gotten lost in the school’s corridors. you had drowned yourself in your studies in a poor attempt to forget about him, soon replacing any concerns about making friends or potential romantic relationships with hours of meticulous notetaking and practice quizzes.
heeseung had gotten taller over the years you had spent in school together. he had grown his hair out from a blunt bowl cut. the strands framed his face perfectly; even when disheveled after a rough gym class or a long night of studying. his voice had gotten deeper, too. you had slowly watched his interests evolve in the form of rotating keychains hanging off of his backpack.
despite all of the changes you had noticed, some things remained the same. heeseung had kept the same friend group throughout the years - six other boys you often found yourself jealous of, though you were never fully sure why. he had taken choir and music theory every year. sometimes you passed by him playing basketball while you were walking home. during your brief interactions, he had remained the same quiet, kind, studious boy you shared a few classes with.
your thoughts are interrupted by the final ring of the bell. you make a mental note to finish taking your notes once you get home as you quickly shove your things into your backpack before making your way to the south entrance.
heeseung is already standing there by the time you arrive. he shoves his phone into his pocket, greeting you with another sweet smile. “ready to go?”
“yeah.” you walk side by side in silence as heeseung leads you to a small local coffee shop you hadn’t noticed before. vines crawl along the walls, creating a calming atmosphere as you sit down at a table in the corner. quiet ambient noise plays from unseen speakers.
heeseung slides a cup over to you before sitting down across from you. you take a small sip from it, pleasantly surprised at the taste. “it’s good,” you say. “thank you.”
“i’m glad,” he smiles, pulling his own textbook out of his bag. “so, which concept do you want to start with?”
you quickly find yourself falling into a routine with heeseung. every tuesday and thursday you meet him by the south entrance of school before walking to the same coffee shop and working through a new concept until you’ve mastered it.
over time, your meetings had become less about studying and slowly turned into time you spending time laughing and joking around with each other. you had memorized his coffee order after your second meeting. by the fourth you had moved to sit next to him.
you were increasingly aware of your upcoming math exam as the weeks went by. though you’re grateful for the help, a part of you was disappointed at potentially not seeing heeseung as much as you do currently. it had been nearly two months since you had first begun meeting up.
your hands accidentally brush against each other, causing a spark of electricity to pass through your body. in the corner of your eye you can see a growing flush spread across heeseung’s cheeks. his reaction makes you smile a little. maybe he also gets nervous around you.
“sorry,” he whispers.
you shake your head. “don’t be.”
heeseung turns to face you, staring until you turn to look at him as well. he doesn’t look away as you make eye contact. instead, he shifts slightly so he’s a little closer to you.
something about him makes you nervous. at some point during your meetings your pristine perfect student persona slipped away, exposing you. the real you -. a teenage boy desperate to be the best, even when your social life suffered and after you lost count of the countless amount of nights you had spent staying up far too late to study.
heeseung’s eyes just barely flicker from yours down to your lips. the flush on his ears deepens when you unconsciously lick them. he leans in a little closer; almost as if he’s testing the limits of your relationship. you don’t pull away. instead, you reciprocate heeseung’s actions, further minimizing the small space between you.
“heeseung,” you whisper.
his eyes shift back up to yours for a second. “y/n,” he raises a hand to cup your cheek. “can i kiss you?”
you don’t trust your mouth to say any of the words running through your mind. your feelings make sense now. the jealousy over heeseung’s friends, why you’re so nervous around him, the sparks when you touch him.
years of denial and repressed feelings are ignored as you refocus on heeseung’s lips. they’re tinted a light pink. you desperately want to know what it would feel like to love him. to be loved by him.
finally, you nod, letting your eyes flutter shut as heeseung slowly leans forwards to pull you into a sweet kiss. his lips feel soft as they gently press against your own. the small sparks of electricity you got from touching his hand are amplified. happiness courses through you. it’s a feeling stronger than you ever thought was possible before.
you’re nearly panting when he finally pulls away, staring at you with a small smile. you can’t help the way your lips quirk upwards into one of your own. “i love you,” he whispers.
your response comes in the form of another sweet kiss. you’re both smiling into it, though neither of you mind. suddenly it feels like everything makes sense. love.
you’re in love with lee heeseung.
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In that Depths post, you mentioned Link taking Zelda to Cotera to max out her gear. I feel like the Great Fairies are a little mini adventure for Zelink. Zelda's curiosity, Link's protective instincts and war flashbacks, plus my theory about how their magic works (acts of affection only) and I can't help but wonder how Zelink's initial and subsequent interactions with Great Fairies go. Do you have enough thoughts on that to put into a post?
WAIT UR SO RIGHT i hadnt even thought that much about how the great fairies worked until you mentioned it omgg
see the one thing thats up for debate is if zelda had ever interacted with the great fairies between botw and totk, i’d probably say she hasnt?? cuz it seems like the number of monsters we see in the games is Unusual so technically there wouldn’t be much need for her stuff to be upgraded, plus she literally has a guard dog LMAO
but i could imagine it being SUCH an emotional rollercoaster for zelda, we all know damn well she’s been starved of affection. i hope ive done this thought justice HAHA
- zelda is 100% spending the first 5 minutes there taking photos from every angle and link just has to stand there and wait while she’s like “i just need one more!!” (she’s said that 5 times now)
- i like to think that they’d be able to find things like fairies and blupees near the great fairies
- a further 10 minutes is spent with zelda on her hands and knees, purah pad in hands, trying to sneak close enough to a blupee to get a clear photo
- same thing with the fairies. she tries to catch one for science but fails miserably
- link catches one for her and she spends another minute just turning the jar in her hands. he can quite literally see the stars in her eyes
- “do you suppose we have a jar big enough to make a terrarium?” “i think so.” “hmm.. although, that may raise some concerns over fairy ethics..”
- totk has already shown us zelda has a thirst for keeping any funky creature she finds
- link waves and greets cotera nonchalantly. zelda can’t help but stare, wide-eyed and absolutely encapsulated by her beauty
- “my, and who’s this little wildflower you’ve brought along with you?”
- she’s surprised at how easily cotera’s flirty remarks wash over link. the most he ever does is smile
- it’s zelda’s turn to endure the incessant cooing of the great fairies. she’s bright red and struggles to reply without stammering
- link watches her with a grin and even laughs when she stutters enough that she’s incomprehensible
- she swats at his arm, it only makes him giggle more
- link explains what happens at each upgrade to save throwing her in blindly. zelda’s a little hesitant but he reassures her and the encouragement from him fills her with courage
- she handles the first upgrade easily. she’s grinning and relishes in the sparkles that linger around her
- link’s too busy admiring how pretty she looks when she’s given a confidence boost
- cotera’s looking at him knowingly but keeps her words to herself
- the second upgrade flusters her but she’s giggling
- “not to brag, princess, but my magic has worked wonders on you. you look wonderful!” “oh! you needn’t say such lovely things, cotera, really..”
- link’s already grinning before the third upgrade. zelda somehow doesn’t feel comforted
- cotera decides to show a little bit of mercy given how obvious it is that zelda has very little experience w affection so she kisses her head instead. it still stuns her
- link’s stepping back before the final upgrade. zelda has enough time to make a noise of surprise before she’s been scooped up and dragged to the very depths of the fountain
- link’s laughing when he helps steady her once she’s put back down. she feels positively ready to burst from all this affection. she’s still speechless
- he spends time talking to cotera about their plans to traverse the depths while zelda recovers
- link finds himself asking if cotera’s sure being fully upgraded will keep her safe and for a moment a look of understanding washes over her
- she’s seen firsthand the stages of grief trying to find the princess again put him through. she’d seen the exhaustion in his eyes, repairing some of his clothes as she upgraded them from all the battles he’d endured in his search for her
- zelda’s touched by his worry, but also equally worried about his own wellbeing. being so anxious about her couldnt be good for him. she felt guilty sometimes
- “thank you so much for your blessings, cotera. you have been very kind.” “with a face like yours, princess, i should be thanking you.” “oh..!”
- cotera asks to speak with link alone for a bit and zelda obliges, busying herself with making notes on the whole experience
- “link, please tell me you’ve been looking after yourself?” “it’s.. a work in progress.” “please, find time for yourself to heal. even if that time is while you’re next to her, don’t lose yourself to what plagues you.” “mm..”
- zelda leaves feeling like it’s not only her clothes that have been upgraded but her confidence too. link wishes he had the courage to continue where cotera left off
- both of them feel as though theyve just witnessed some personal growth from zelda, link makes sure to tell her that confidence is a good look on her
- his compliment has by far the biggest impact on her
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"Well guys, it's 2023 and here's another dolt ranting about pronouns in the lust arc, just like the IH Fail essay that ended up being a fail in and of itself."
No its 2023 and people are deciding to keep ot real with you instead of deluding themselves and changing fhe narrtive to cater to a ship.
Respectfully, lets not speak on a language we dont know shit about, lmao.
Ichigo omits the pronoun when he tells rukia 'i've come to save you' in soul society that's because he was literally speaking to her, had been bickering with her from the previous page and had already told her he was there to rescue her back on the bridge - so he didn't need to specify to her 'who' he'd come to save: this is a typical example of "japanese omitting pronouns because they're obvious"
in the lust arc, ichigo is quite literally unconscious and unaware of his surroundings: in order to make it clear to the readers that ichigo recognized orihime, a pronoun (actually not even, he should have used her damn name like ichigo always did when he thought about rukia in ss) **needed** to be there without it, especially coupled with the fact that he speaks in broken japanese from that moment to the end of his transformation (i.e. he uses a mix of kanji and katakana, the latter of which is only used for foreign words, robots or - in bleach's case - hollows, and usually to signify that the speaker is just muttering sounds and doesn't understand the actual meaning of what they're saying), and the fact that he literally quite literally proceeds to throw orihime off the dome with absolutely no care for her well being, it's damn obvious that he had no idea who was yelling at him, he was only aware of the fact that someone was asking for help and got triggered by the word 'save'
"I mean this is just hilarious to me. Here's Orihime and Ichigo, literally placed together in side by side panels as Ichigo continues to chant about protecting...And ichiruki shippers are like, "hmmm well, it's not super clear who he's talking about because there's no pronoun so...I guess we'll never know 🤷♀️."
So being places together in panels side by side means he's referring to her? May I remind u he's just raised from the dead, and orihime is shocked as she processes what's happening. Those panels were to emphasise that. Not only have u attempted to educate me on the Japanese language and failed, you've now tried to say side by side panels somehow equates to the fact that he's referring to her? 💀.
"You think Kubo drew this^ entire page, at such a pivotal moment, to show that Orihime's...wrong? Like some sort of gag? She's just *imagining* that Ichigo rose up for her, but it's not actually true? That's...certainly an interesting way to interpret things lmao."
This was orihimes own perception of the situation. Orihime isn't a fact page, she's her own charecter with her own dialogue and thought. The fact she perceived it that way doenst mean its the case. She didn't imagine anything, it jsut looked that way too her, may I remind you she was the one screaming. She knows she's the person the screams belong too, ichigo doesn't. So of course she's gonna think it's here fault, common sense people.
You also proceeded to bring more asspulls and try and say how the databook confirms its about orihime when it was in third person.
"The readers aren't the ones who bound Ichigo to Orihime's screams (especially not you, anon, since you keep insisting it had nothing to do with her lmao). Kubo did that. That's how he meant for this scene to be interpreted: that Ichigo was bound to Orihime's screams. But you're still here fighting against it for some reason lol."
Did kubo tell u that he meant for the scene to be interpretated this way? Or did some angel come to you in ur dream and tell u that? If thats true, kubo wouldve simply added confirmation that hes talking about orihime by adding pronouns or her name. Instead he doesnt do that and has ichigo propell her away
He was bound to her screams, it's just that he didn't know the screams belonged to her, as long as those screams belonged to someone, he's gonna get up... that's who he is. It could've been anyone else screaming there and he would've stood his ass the fuck up, that's his charecter and what he does. Lmao you think this would go without saying, but the lengths ppl go for shipping is hilarious.
"Ichigo did know she was calling out to him. It was part of his internal monologue, as she's screaming, before he hollowfied. Whether the pronoun is there or not (because again, the pronoun for her doesn't *need* to be there to make it clear who he's talking about when she's clearly the only person screaming, placed directly next to a panel of him rising him up...) he could hear her voice. He could hear her calling him. He ruminated over ORIHIME'S screams and was bound to ONLY that purpose. Only her. "
He could hear her voice, he just didn't know it was her. Just that it was somebody, it's not that hard to grasp. There's nothing wrong with ichigo not knowing it's orihime but since shipping has rotten yalls brains, it has to be about the Princess hime, and not about ichigos own charecter, because everything has to be about orihime, right? (💀).
Your opinion on this probably won't change, that's granted as a deluded shipper. What also won't change, is the fact that this isn't an ichihime moment. U attempted to educate me on the japanese language and failed, I recommend doing more research time. I also reccomend not bothering to reply to things like these if ur arguement is just gonna end with "well ichihime is canon, deal with it" because it makes u look silly to say the least, and has nothing to do with the convo.
how i sleep knowing ichigo literally rose up from the dead for his future wife 🥰
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Certified ‘Pain In The Ass’ (part 1)
Leonard McCoy x female OC (can be read as x reader)
word count: 3530
a/n: Hello! I’m writing again! This is an old fic of mine that didn’t work out. But I liked it a lot so I decided to strip it down to its bare bones and write it all over again and now it works! I’m still editing part 2 but it should be up soon! I’m on AO3 as RunningGolden :)
This was originally an x reader fic but I accidentally gave the reader too much personality so I just made her an OC. Whoops. You can still imagine her as ‘reader’, I don’t describe her looks at all and I only gave her a surname. Her personality is very strong, though.
This is sort of enemies to friends to lovers. The enemies part is more of a backstory though.
summary: Her friendship with Leonard was a strange one. They’d banter a lot, she’d playfully joke with him and he’d roll his eyes and occasionally fail to fight a smile. He’d drag her to med-bay everytime she even got a papercut and she pretended to be inconvenienced by it. Oh, and she was deeply, embarrassingly, in love with him. (part 1 of 2)
warnings: profanity, injuries, blood, aliens, danger, OC is a little shit lmao, they’re both idiots, literally children pulling each others pigtails, almost painful pining
___________________________________________________
When she met Leonard McCoy for the first time, she quickly discovered how easy it was to annoy him. One, admittedly dumb, comment and he whirled on her with a scowl that seemed to permanently reside on his face and frustration seeping out his pores as he snarled; “Damn it, I’m a doctor not a frog! The bio bed is stuck 5 meters up in the air and you suggest ‘jumping’?! Why does everyone insist on being a pain in my ass today?!”
She laughed in his face.
That clearly wasn't the reaction the doctor expected if his look of disgruntled confusion was anything to go off. He looked her up and down, seemingly only then realizing that he did not recognize the person he just scolded.
"Hold on, who the hell are you?"
She smirked, his obvious bad mood dangling in front of her face like candy on a string. And boy, did she have a sweet tooth. "Oh, you haven't heard? I’m Chief Security Officer Flynn. They hired me to be a pain in your ass. Anyway, have you tried a trampoline?"
Despite her new job on the Enterprise keeping her quite busy, being Leonard McCoy's certified ‘pain in the ass’ was a role she took up enthusiastically. Annoying the notable doctor quickly became her favorite hobby. Bothering him in med-bay, crashing his drinking sessions with the Captain and proclaiming something dumb to get him to argue with her (much to the Captain's amusement), offering more useless comments for him to rant about. It was all a fun distraction from an otherwise stressful move to a new starship.
It was simple, really. A simple game, a simple back-and-forth, a simple source of entertainment.
But it didn’t take her very long to discover that there was absolutely nothing simple about Doctor Leonard McCoy.
There was just something special about him that kept her coming back for more. She couldn't stop seeking him out, bantering with him, learning things about him, trying to get him to laugh at her jokes. It didn't take very long for her to forget it was supposed to be simple.
He didn't make it easy, either. He claimed to absolutely loathe her and immediately seized any chance to argue with her, to complain about her, to glare at her. And of all the things she's learned about him, his god-awful (and overly dramatic) acting skills might just be her favorite.
You didn't have to be a genius to tell that despite his colorful language, his words were never harsh. He scowled like he got paid for it but his expressions were never cold. And for someone who claimed that she was the unfunniest person in the universe, he sure covered up a lot of laughs with ill-placed coughs.
If you had asked anyone on the ship, they would’ve told you that he enjoyed their arguments even more than she did.
Perhaps she was also a distraction to him. Perhaps life in between all the action on the Enterprise was so dreadfully boring, that her antics kept him somewhat entertained. Perhaps underneath all the cynical theatrics, he liked having her around.
It took a year into the Enterprise's new mission for them to develop a strange sort of friendship. He begrudgingly made space for her in his life and she toned down her antics. From time to time he stopped acting like she was the bane of his existence and every now and then she opened the floor to friendly conversations. She’d playfully joke with him and he’d roll his eyes and occasionally fail to fight a smile. He’d drag her to med-bay everytime she even got a papercut and she pretended to be inconvenienced by it. They still bantered a lot, but it was softer, somehow.
And it took one moment for her to mess it all up.
She made him laugh, really laugh, and suddenly it all made sense. It was all building up to this, all the bad jokes, all the pitiful attempts, they all came to this moment. And god was it worth it. He let out a hearty, belly-aching laugh and his eyes crinkled at the corners and it was like the stars aligned and heavens opened up. She finally saw the light and was lit up by it from the inside, her heart engulfed in flame by a single sound. It lasted only a moment and she was immediately thirsting for more. Thirsting like she was sweltering in the desert and the only thing that could quench her thirst was hearing that goddamn laugh again. Preferably on her lips. Whilst wrapped in his embrace.
Of course, of course this is what it was about the entire goddamn time!
Oh. Oh, I am so screwed.
-
“Leonard! It’s your favorite patient!” Her call was followed by an exasperated sigh and the screech of a chair. The Med-Bay was quiet that day, only a handful of people littered about and the only notable sound that could be heard was the occasional cough.
“What did you do this ti-“ Leonard abruptly stopped mid-sentence as soon as he rounded the corner and spotted her standing in the doorway clutching her bloody hand. “My god, what the hell did you do?!” He ran up to her and gently took her hand to examine it. She smiled at him sheepishly.
“Challenged Sulu to a duel… again… we got a little carried off.” She chuckled and he gave her the look. His famous ‘I can’t believe I have to deal with this bullshit’ look that most people would whither from in shame. Not her though, no, she reveled in it. She wasn't sure if it was because of her persistent desire to annoy him or that she just liked being in the center of his attention. Perhaps a bit of both.
"Again?! Last time he almost cut you in half and you decided to have another go?!" His arms folded disapprovingly across his chest as he glared at her. Apparently her cut wasn't life-threatening enough to skip a lecture.
She scoffed. “Oh, relax, I was fine, he barely grazed me.”
“You were out of commission for a week!”
“Yeah, because you banned me from moving!”
“You would’ve ripped your stitches out!”
"I would've been careful!"
"You seriously expect me to believe that?"
Fair point. “Okay, fine. I promise to never again intentionally get into another sword fighting duel with potentially the greatest sword fighter in outer space.” She promised in a flat voice, fingers crossed behind her back, before grimacing and quickly adding; "Don't tell Sulu I said that."
“You’re a menace.” He grumbled with an eye roll as he led her to the nearest med-bed and started to clean the wound. A stray hair rebelled from his neatly combed hair and she couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked as he continued berating her, each comment decorated with increasingly creative insults.
“Oh, Dr. McCoy… I love it when you talk dirty to me.” She breathed and sent him with a sultry look, successfully stopping his rant short. She snickered as she felt his hands still on hers for a moment before he fixed her with a glare. He drew in a deep breath and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He shook his head with a sigh, and went back to treating her wound.
Huh, that was weird. Managing to fluster Bones was no easy feat, but shutting him up? That’s rare. She could proudly say she's done it twice before, but this one felt different. Feeling like she was on the verge of something awkward, she decided to change the subject as quickly as possible.
“Besides, next time… I’m finally going to beat Sulu at his own game.” She declared, breathing an inward sigh of relief as he immediately latched onto the distraction.
“What happened to ‘never getting into another sword fight’?” He narrowed his eyes.
“I crossed my fingers when I said that.”
He threw his hands up in the air. “I cannot fathom how someone would let you be the Chief Security Officer on this ship!” He exclaimed dramatically, not for the first time, but only earned a grin from her.
“Obviously someone saw how awesome I am.”
“Obviously!” He repeated sarcastically. She snorted and watched his hands work on the cut Sulu so graciously gave her, admiring the way his long fingers gently applied a healing ointment on her wound. His hands were steady, precise, practiced in the art of taking care of someone. His fingernails were better manicured than hers could ever hope to be, cut with a surgeon's precision. He had a few scars, faint white lines decorating his skin, along with a few freckles. His touch was soft, so soft she barely felt it, and she wondered, not for the first time, how a man with such a strong personality could be so gentle. Be so kind.
Despite his sardonic wit, brusque demeanor and his immense hatred for stupidity, Leonard kept surprising her with just how big his heart was. He was compassionate and cared deeply about all living things. He could curse your entire bloodline whilst nursing you gently back to health. He could hate space with a burning passion but still follow you into a black hole to make sure you were alright. They could be in the middle of an argument about her clumsiness (or lack thereof, in her opinion) and he’d still grab her just as she was about to fall over, which would’ve won him the argument. She thought about that moment embarrassingly often.
One of his hands picked hers up and cradled it, warm and comforting, as the other picked up a dermal regenerator and let the soft glow illuminate her hand. She barely registered the warmth from the regenerator, the feel of Leonard’s hands was way too distracting. She tried not to think about the fact that he did not need to hold her like that, she’s seen him use the dermal regenerator a million times by now and he never touches someone during the process. It was unnecessary. Yet there he was…
Her heart was hammering in her chest. Silently cursing, she tried to regain control over her traitorous body before the doctor could notice. She was fighting the urge to shiver… and the instinct to grab his face and kiss him.
I’m gonna go insane. I’m gonna go insane because of Leonard’s McCoy’s hands.
“Did you remember to take your medicine this morning?” He suddenly asked, frowning at the report on his tricorder. She shook herself, realizing he had finished wrapping her hand whilst she had her private freak-out. He still gently held her hand with one of his, thumb stroking her palm as the screen distracted him.
She fought the urge to scream and melt into a puddle, simultaneously.
“Uh… yeah! Of course.” She lied. Crap. She totally forgot. He didn’t seem to believe her in the slightest.
“Oh, really?” He arched an eyebrow and stared her down. Usually she could stare back all day with the same stubborn attitude as him, but she was so distracted by the feel of his thumb - he's still doing it! - and silently cursed when she felt her face heat up. Looking away, she decided to just give in.
“Okay, I forgot.” She mumbled and he threw his hands in the air. Her shoulders subtly sagged as his hand left hers. Thank god, having a heart attack because of a thumb would've been embarrassing.
“I swear to god, do I need to physically come to your quarters and shove them down your throat so you’ll remember?” He shook his head at her and she would’ve thought he was furious if it wasn’t for the way he looked at her.
That look. God, she knew she had an unhealthy addiction for the man but he did not help when he looked at her like that. Like he was secretly loving this ridiculous thing between them, too. Like their bantering fueled him as much as it fueled her. She mentally begged her face to return to its original color and looked at him pointedly, with crossed arms, faking bravado. His eyebrows inched up as he mimicked her movements.
“I’d like to see you try.” She tried to sound intimidating but couldn‘t fight the smile growing on her face.
“Oh, I will.” He said, leaning forward, the corners of his mouth twitching. For a moment they simply stared at each other, competing in a wordless game, eyes locked in a heated battle, when the sudden clearing of a throat prompted them to look up at a grinning Jim.
“Okay, so whenever you guys are done flirting, I need you to go on a mission.” His grin grew wider as the two people in front of him blushed and Leonard took a step back, furrowing his brows and fiddling with his tricorder. She was about to retort when the latter part of Jim’s sentence registered and her heart stuttered for a different reason.
“A mission? I’m in.” She beamed and was about to jump off the bed when a hand stopped her.
“Oh ho, no, you’re not, you’re hurt.” Leonard kept his hand on her arm to hold her in place. Again with the touching! She rolled her eyes.
“I’m fine, see?” She flexed her bandaged hand for them to see, it was still painful, but she wasn’t going to mention that.
“It could be challenging and considering you’re still healing, I’m not clearing you. You’re not going.” Leonard‘s tone indicated there was no room for arguments but unluckily for him, she could always argue.
“I’m going.” She whacked his hand away and jumped off the bed.
“You’re not going.” He tried to push her back on her bed but she wouldn’t budge.
“I’m going!” She said with determination. They started staring each other down again, ignoring Jim‘s chuckles beside them.
“Aw look at you two; you’re like an old married couple!” He cooed and successfully made them stop to glare at him.
“Shut up, Jim!” They said simultaneously, making Jim double over with laughter. She grimaced. He was definitely going to tease them about that. She just hoped it wouldn’t be in public, like the last time.
“Captain, permission to go on this mission?” She turned to Jim fully, ignoring Leonard‘s attempts to get her to sit down.
“Permission granted.” He nodded as he tried to catch his breath and she turned to Leonard with a triumphant smile.
“See? Captains’ orders.”
“Jim!“ He yelled at the Captain. „Well I say she can‘t, Doctor‘s orders.“
„Which one is more important?“ She stage-whispered to Jim and he opened his mouth to reply when Leonard cut him off.
„Mine.“ Fine, he wants to be stubborn? She‘ll just have to resort to desperate measures. Sighing dramatically, she melted away the tension in her body and took a step towards him.
„Len…" His eyebrow quirked at her quiet tone, but she ignored it and plowed through. "I really want to get outside, you know how uncomfortable I can get all cooped up in here. Remember the last time I skipped a mission? I almost went insane! It’s not like it’s my dominant hand, anyway...“ She gave him her best puppy dog eyes, hoping to god he‘ll just let her go. She was glad the Med-Bay was nearly empty at this point, her reputation would be in ruins at this pathetic display.
Darn him and his ability to make her chuck away her own pride.
He looked like he was about to argue, but she stopped him before he could by bringing out the big guns. "Please?"
She absolutely hated using that word and he knew it. She could tell he was going over her argument in his head and debating whether it was worth it. Glaring at her for a moment longer, he pinched his nose and let his shoulders drop.
„Fine, but I’m giving you a boost so your skin heals faster, even though I’m not supposed to, and you have to promise to stay close.” He relented and jabbed a finger at her. She jumped and beamed at him and he visibly softened.
“Don’t I always?” She gave his arm a squeeze as a thank you. He shook his head, a hint of a smile on his lips.
“Why do I even try?” He muttered. She just wiggled her eyebrows in response, already skipping away to get herself ready for the mission.
„Wait, that worked?“ Jim suddenly piped up, confused as to what just happened.
„Shut up, Jim.“
-
“-It’s a desert area, but there is a forest nearby that we can’t really get a reading on, we’ll just try to stay away from it for now, just in case.” Suited up and struggling with an armful of equipment, she listened to Jim drone on about the mission whilst the rest of the team gathered on the transportation pads. It was a simple run of sample collection but since it was mostly unknown territory, security was required to keep watch. The bright eyed new security recruit and her would have the exciting job of just standing there. But at least she's getting outside. Just the thought of the wind in her hair had her buzzing in excitement.
“Just in case?” Leonard froze and she chuckled.
“It’ll be fine, Len, like Jim said, we’ll only be a few hours.” She shot him a grin and he muttered curses under his breath and something that sounded like ‘fine, my ass’ but she couldn’t be sure as the feeling of transportation took over and her feet sunk in sand.
She closed her eyes and breathed in the sudden hot air. It was warm, almost overbearingly so, and there was a sickly sweet smell in the air. The air, god, there wasn't much wind but the subtle caress on her skin was enough to make her head tilt back and grin towards the sky. Her eyes opened to a captivating mix of pink and purple. Three yellow moons stretched across the atmosphere and she was overwhelmingly glad she got Leonard to stop arguing like a paranoid mule and let her join. She looked down to comment on it when something made her freeze.
She was alone.
Spinning around in confusion only gave her more questions than answers. The sand under her boots seemed to cover a rocky landscape which was dotted with strange cacti-like plants. They were tall, but not tall enough to be trees. Their thorns were larger than that of a cactus and made walking around them difficult. They cast dark shadows that stretched across the barren ground, only interrupted by a few pathetic looking bushes.
It was quiet. The kind of quiet that made you flinch at the sound of your own breath.
She fought the sudden surge of panic as she hastily searched for her comm, ready to ask what the hell was going on, when a voice suddenly piped up from it, making her jump.
“Landing party has successfully reached its destination.” Jim's voice sounded distorted. Was her comm broken?
“Uh, sorry to burst your bubble, Jim, but I think I’ve lost you.” She spoke into the comm as she started walking around, trying to catch sight of her team.
“What?” A pause. “Wait, where the hell are you Flynn?!”
“Ah, Captain, something ----- happened with the transport-----at caused Flynn to be transported els------.” Scotty's voice sounded even worse and he kept cutting out. She turned her comm around, assessing for damage. It seemed fine.
“What do you mean elsewhere? Where is she?” Jim was starting to sound as panicked as she felt. She had a bad feeling in her gut and she couldn’t shake it. She thought she saw movement out of the corner of her eye and swiveled only to be met with another blasted cactus. She raised the comm to her mouth again, eyes fixated on the plant.
“Jim, when you said forest, was it possibly a forest made of… uh, cacti-looking things?” She asked in a low voice and gripped the equipment in her arms tighter.
“She’s in the forest?! The ‘let’s stay clear of those, just in case’ forest?” Leonard’s voice both soothed her and panicked her even further with its words. Yep, something was definitely off. She looked around again, the back of her neck prickling with the feeling of being watched.
“Calm down, Len, I’m sure Scotty can beam me away…. Right, Scotty?” She tried to calm down enough to reassure them both. She would be fine, Scotty would sweep in any second and beam her up. She was met with silence. “Scotty?”
“Ah, eh, no, not exactly— can’t detect— there’s something in there—- disturbing the process.” He sounded apologetic, but she stopped listening halfway through. She saw movement again, this time right in front of her. Did that… no, did it?
“…any idea of what it is?” Jim asked. The movement happened again, this time enough to confirm her suspicions. Before she could react, the cactus in front of her literally started moving towards her.
“Holy shit!”
________________________________________________
sorry to end on a cliffhanger lmao >:) tell me what you think! part 2 should be up in the next couple of days! it will be longer ;)
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Firsts: I love you
First I love you.
Part 3 of 12 (each chapter is a standalone)
<< First panic attck, part 2 || First song, part 4 >>
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Henderson!Reader
wc: 7.4K
warnings: cursing, poorly written (i tried lmao) light ish smut, S4 spoilers at the end
A/N: y'all are really killing me with your comments, asks, and messages. thank you so, so much! this one got away from me so there's bound to be typos. Eddie might also come off as ooc a little in some parts, whenever I write from his POV I can get a little lost lol hope you like it!
Eddie knew very early into his relationship that he loved you. It was just a fact of his life.
The sun was bright, jocks were morons, his campaigns were unbeatable, Metallica was music from the Gods, and…he loved you. Fuck, did he love you.
He loved the way you smiled in the mornings when he was the first thing you opened your eyes to, excited to see him. He loved your scent, Jesus fucking Christ, did you smell good. He loved the little noises you made whenever he kissed the base of your neck, a sharp inhale like you were just as hungry for him as he was for you. He loved how you spoke – about anything. Your classes, the news, the book you’d read in class, shit, the weather. The way your eyes brightened and your hands moved passionately, accidentally smacking into him half the time, as you included him on whatever ran through your mind.
He loved how bold you were, how you never failed to match his sarcasm and teasing, how even if you could swear with the best of them, you’d get flustered at sweet compliments. He loved how it didn’t matter where you were, and who was watching, every time you saw him, you’d completely light up. Unabashedly kiss him in stores, at the movies, in front of your friends, at work – anywhere. Like he was something to be proud of.
For how simple, and easy, it was to fall in love with you – he couldn’t say the words.
Now, in his defense, he didn’t exactly know how. Ugh, he rolled his head until it smacked against the wall.
His family wasn’t exactly what one would consider normal. He knew that. You knew that. Everyone knew that. His mother had been sick for as long as he could remember. She’d have good days, and those days were great. But the bad days were filled with him calling his uncle because his mom hadn’t gotten up from her bed in days and he didn’t have any mac and cheese left and he was hungry.
His Uncle Wayne had been the only constant in his life. His father had gone out to work when Eddie was five and hadn’t come back. He knew, out of all his sob story, that was the part that angered you the most. He loved watching you get so indignant on his behalf, your eyes flashing furiously. No matter how much he’d assured you that his father was a wound that had already scarred over, you would always be ready to fight for him. Another reason why he loved you.
Love…hadn’t come easily in his life. His mother had been the only person who ever said it to him and after she died, there was no one left. He knew Wayne loved him – he had to; Eddie had put him through too much shit for him not to – but no one had said it out loud in a long time.
Which is why it felt like someone had dropped a fucking anvil on his throat the second he came anywhere near close to saying it to you.
“Eddie?” Your voice brought him out of his head.
He snapped his head up and watched as you ran a hand down the new dress you’d bought earlier today. “What do you think?” You asked, looking down at yourself, unsure.
“Are you kidding?” He snorted, making his once over obvious, and delighting in the flustered expression that followed. “You’ll be the hottest girl at the party.”
A smile blossomed onto your face, lighting you up from within and Eddie felt his pathetic heart try to claw its way out his chest. It didn’t belong to him anymore and the longer it took him to say those stupid three words, the harder his heart seemed to fight him.
“Are you ready?” You asked, stretching out your hand to him.
Eddie smiled, hopped off your bed, and intertwined his fingers with yours.
Home. You felt like home.
His heart jabbed him once more and he ignored it again. “Come on hot stuff,” he said, “we’ve got a college party to go to.”
Eddie had started to get a little nervous on the ride over. He usually was the one to drive you both places but you’d insisted on driving. You wanted him to be able to drink if he wanted, and you weren’t much of a drinker – Halloween night aside. He didn’t know what to do with his hands. Eventually, when you arrived, you’d given him a long kiss and took one in yours. He shoved the other one into his leather jacket and let his usual persona take over.
“I promise,” you said, seeing under the mask, “it’s a small party. I know almost everyone who’s coming and they’re all really cool people. Steve said he’d try to make it but he had a shift.”
“God forbid Harrington miss a party,” Eddie joked, biting back a laugh when you rolled your eyes. You pulled him into the large dorm suite. The lights were dimmed low, most people wearing glow sticks around their necks. You grabbed a few from the entrance table and stuck one in his upper pocket. Eddie snapped his teeth at your fingers and you grinned.
“Come on, let’s introduce you to a few people. I’ve been talking about you all semester,” you said, brightening.
Bracing himself for the usual distain, Eddie was a little floored when all your classmates welcome him warmly. He met too many people to remember but they all had friendly smiles and interesting stories. There were theater majors, pre-med students, engineers, foreign exchange students, and every single one of them seemed genuinely excited to meet him. A few of them teased you, wondering if ‘that perfect boyfriend of yours really existed.’
Eddie almost burst out into laughter then. Perfect and Eddie didn’t belong in the same sentence.
At one point, you’d grabbed him a beer and pulled him towards a loveseat in the corner. An Asian girl sat, twirling a straw absently, her eyes darting around a group of people nervously.
“Hi you,” you said, greeting her happily. “I thought you weren’t coming.”
“Yeah, well, Brian insisted, you know how he gets,” she said, eyes catching Eddie’s. “Oh my God, is this the mythical boyfriend?”
“Why did everyone think I was lying? How the fuck would I have given myself those hickeys you all gave me shit for?”
“Listen, I’m not judging, you could’ve been out there living your life – he just seemed a little too good to be true,” she grinned widely, reminding Eddie of a Cheshire. “Hi, by the way, I’m Angela. Your girlfriend’s favorite classmate this semester.”
“I’m Eddie,” he said, shaking her hand.
“I’ve heard,” she said, tone suggestive as she ran her gaze down his body. You groaned to the side of him, slapping your hand to your head and Angela laughed. Eddie grinned, he liked her. “Calm down, astronauts could see he’s only got eyes for you. You’re both disgustingly cute.”
Eddie sat down next to her at your urging and pulled you into his lap.
“Ooh, Angie, tell Eddie what club you started on campus,” you said, grinning down at Eddie.
“Ah, yes,” Angela said, “I hear I’m in the presence of another dungeon master.”
Eddie straightened, his eyes coming back to hers and she laughed. “No shit?” Eddie said. “I started a club in our school too. It’s where we met, kind of.”
“You play?” Angela asked, brows rising up.
“No,” you snorted, “I do not have the mental capacity. Eddie has tried – Dustin has tried. Shit, I think Lucas and Mike have tried. It doesn’t stick. I’m a great cheerleader though.”
“She is,” Eddie laughed, kissing your jaw.
“Ugh, you’re going to make me sick,” Angela teased. You rolled your eyes but he felt your hand squeeze his arm three times. He looked up at you but you were lost in the conversation.
Angela talked about her current campaign and the group she played with, offering him a spot if he wanted one. Eddie explained what he was planning – he had a major campaign coming up before spring break and he was sure his team was going to cream themselves. He went to turn to you but blinked when he realized you’d disappeared. Eddie straightened, not having noticed that you’d gotten up and left, his eyes glancing around the room.
“Henderson’s by the food,” Angela said, pointing you out to him. When he caught your eye, you were mid-bite and nodding along to something the theater major was saying. You smiled brightly at him and scrunched your nose. He smiled back at you, heart skipping, and turned back to Angela.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly at her look.
“Don’t be, it’s cute,” Angela said, sighing. “I wish I had what you two do. It seems nice, you know?”
Eddie’s eyes trailed back to you as you threw your head back and laughed, your hand coming up to hide your smile. He nodded. “I want to say we’re not usually like this…” he said, smiling at the memory of the heated kiss as you’d parked the car outside.
Angela grinned. “But you both can’t keep your hands off each other and you’re head over heels in love?” She rolled her eyes, completely unaware at the panic that had surged in him. “It’s alright, rub salt into the wound.”
“Come on, there’s gotta be someone you’ve got your eye on,” Eddie laughed, shaking off his panic, watching her face turn an alarming red and her eyes darting to the left side of the room.
“No,” she said, unconvincingly.
Eddie followed her gaze and grinned when he saw a tall black girl with long braids swaying to the music. Her eyes were closed and she had one arm up in the air as she twirled around.
“What’s her name?”
“Sienna,” Angela said with a wistful sigh. “I’m bisexual.”
Eddie glanced back at Sienna. “Is she interested?”
“I have no idea,” Angela groaned, dropping her face into her palms. “She’s in my organic chemistry class and she sat next to me in our first semester. She’s just – she’s got the prettiest fucking smile. It’s like I can’t breathe around her and I stumble over my words, it’s mortifying.”
“I get that,” he said, taking a long sip of his beer.
“You?” Angela huffed. “You’ve got Henderson as a girlfriend and look like you just walked off a stage at a rock concert.”
Eddie laughed so hard he almost snorted beer out his nose. “You’re hilarious, I’m literally called Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson.”
Angela rolled her eyes. “High School is a shitshow. People who peaked then end up trapped in a marriage with a cheating partner, two point five kids, and a dog that prefers your neighbors.” She took a deep drag of her cigarette. “And a shitty job.”
“You know, Angie, I like you,” Eddie said, laughing. Is this what it felt like to have people not judge him before he’d even opened his mouth?
Angela winked. “Back at you, Freak.”
A warm hand trailed across Eddie’s shoulders and a familiar voice cut through the music. “You two seem to be getting along.”
“Why’d you hide this one from us for so long?” Angela asked, snuffing out her cigarette. “I’m this close to stealing him from you.”
You laughed, carting a hand through Eddie’s hair. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. “I’ll give him to you for your notes for Psychology,” you said, “and a week’s worth of your famous cookies.”
“Hey!” Eddie protested. “I’m worth at least two weeks’ of baked goods.”
Angela squinted. “Chocolate cake and test notes only.”
You shook your head. “No deal!”
Angela snapped her fingers. “Looks like we’ll have to settle for friends, Munson, it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Might be for the best,” he said with a pointed look to the dancing girl.
Angela blushed and you leaned in. “Oh, secrets already, come on – tell me!”
“Sienna,” Angela sighed.
“She’s here?” You straightened and followed where Eddie had glanced. “Please, please, let us find out for you. She’s in my American Classics class and she’s amazing.”
“You’re both as subtle as a bus,” Angela snorted.
The song faded into a new one, couples bouncing onto the makeshift dancefloor. Eddie heard the familiar guitar notes and dramatically groaned when you snapped to look at him.
Can you hear me calling out your name?
“Oh, Eddie, please,” you plead, widening your eyes and sticking your lower lip out.
“Go on, dance with your girlfriend.” Angela waved you both off.
“He loves this song,” you told her, pulling him up. Eddie shot you a narrowed look and Angela laughed.
“I didn’t have you pegged for a Fleetwood Mac guy,” she said, lighting another cigarette.
“It’s our song,” you said, winking at Eddie. He hated the fact that his entire chest felt like it would burst at your smug look.
“Of course, it is,” Angela groaned, tossing her head back. “You both disgust me, go be romantic somewhere else.”
Before Eddie could protest, you’d dragged him to the center of the mass of swaying bodies. You turned around, pressing your back to his front and he immediately brought his arms around you. He leaned his chin over your shoulder and smiled when you shivered.
“This isn’t our only song,” he said into your ear, “you’re giving me a bad rep with my new friends.”
“Methink thou doth protest too much,” you whispered back, squeezing his arm and swaying with him. “You agreed to a truce. This and KISS.”
He had, because how could he not with you?
“I know you know the words,” you said, nipping at cheek. “I know you can sing, I've heard you.”
Eddie sighed, pretending to put up a fuss to see you roll your eyes. Hiding his grin in your hair, he flipped you around and pulled you into his chest.
“You better make it soon, before you break my heart,” you sang softly, your eyes softening when he looked down at you.
Fuck. He wanted to drown in you.
“Oh I, I wanna be with you everywhere,” he sang to you, relishing in the grin that split your face. He smiled and kissed you, because there would never be a version of him who didn’t give you what you wanted. You smiled up at him, your eyes roaming around his face before you cupped his cheek. Eddie nipped at your palm playfully, your eyes flashing.
I want to be with you everywhere
“Thank you for coming, I know this isn’t your favorite thing to do,” you told him and Eddie’s chest clenched. He pulled you tighter against him and shook his head.
“I’m sorry, princess, for not coming the other times,” he said, “your friends are cool, I don’t know why I thought otherwise.”
“Because you’ve never known anything but judgmental assholes on an ego trip. They don’t get you, not the way I do – the way these people could,” you said, frowning in indignation for him. Eddie’s heart all but stopped. Shit, he loved you so much he could explode with it.
I want to be with you everywhere
The words climbed up from his heart, to this throat, and stalled at his mouth. He exhaled, frustrated, and kissed your forehead instead. “Besides, they’re our friends now. Angie and Carlos said they’d come to your gig next week!”
“Really?” He asked, rearing back his head. His inner turmoil taking a backseat.
“Yeah,” you said, beaming. “I think Carlos’ girlfriend had actually heard you guys before. She said you were good and now he’s convinced he’s gotta come check it out. I wouldn’t be surprised if Angie’s D&D group came too.”
You motioned for him to get closer, looking around you cautiously. Eddie leaned down and you whispered: “I’m inviting Sienna too, that way maybe Angie will grow a pair and talk to her!”
You smiled, glancing back at your friend and sighed. “She deserves to be happy. She’s had a bit of a rough few years. She loves love and I want her to get it, you know?” Eddie’s throat closed in on itself.
“Yeah,” he croaked, “I know.”
/////
Eddie was sure that the craving he had for you, the desire and desperation, would never fade. He’d be old and grey and you’d still turn him on at the drop of a hat.
“Eddie, please,” you breathed, your voice high and desperate. “Eddie!”
He loved the way you moaned his name. He loved the way your nails dug into his back, leaving reminders that you craved him just as much as he did you. Eddie loved the way he fit in between your legs, the way you fit together, and the way it chased away the darkness around him.
Eddie tugged your leg up further and you both groaned at the new angle. He choked when he felt you tighten around him. “Holy fucking Christ, sweetheart, you’re going to kill me.”
You laughed lightly, head thrown back, and legs tensing as he pumped into you faster. “You shouldn’t – ah – take the lord’s name in vain,” you teased and Eddie huffed a laugh.
“He understands,” Eddie panted, his pulse pounding, kissing your neck sloppily. “I’m sure he doesn’t mind.”
“Oh,” you sighed, your legs tightening further his waist, your hand looking for his. Eddie intertwined your fingers together, knowing it was your sign that you were close. He closed his eyes, concentrating on chasing his own and felt it begin at the base of his spine. Your hand squeezed his and right as he felt you both at the edge, your other hand came up to his face. Eddie opened his eyes, surprised, and you were looking at him with a soft smile.
Your eyes darted between his and a slow smile grew on his face. He felt his chest cave in at the adoring expression you wore openly. He squeezed your hand back and almost jumped in surprise when you bared down on him suddenly, your eyes closing, and your grip become steel. You moaned into his ear and in your mindless search for him, reached up and tugged his hair just shy of painful. He groaned, stilling as he felt a flash a white and a constellation of shooting stars behind his eyelids.
With a wet exhale, he collapsed on top of you. He waited until he could feel his limbs before rolling you both over. You squeaked when he wrapped his arms around you tightly.
“I missed you,” you said after you’d both caught your breath.
“I missed you too princess,” he said, kissing your temple. “Three days was too long.”
“I’m sorry,” you said, trailing your fingertips down his arm, “finals kicked my ass.”
“I’m a great study partner,” Eddie said, bringing his other arm to the back of his head.
You snorted and he feigned hurt. “I’m offended.”
“I’m sure you are,” you snickered, “doesn’t make it any less true.”
“Wooow,” Eddie huffed, “I wine and dine you and this is the treatment I get?”
“You opened the door and we barely made it to your bed,” you said, shooting him a look.
“Right, and who’s fault is that? I drove all the way to your favorite restaurant, laid it all out, a whole night for m’lady. With only the purist of intentions, I welcomed you into my home. Then you jumped me,” he teased, “clearly you only want me for my body, daughter of Satan.”
You laughed heartily and Eddie let it wash over him, warming him. “I did jump you,” you admitted, surprising Eddie with the lack of argument or quip. “I just…feel like I can’t be fully happy without you there. Like a piece of me is missing. I was jumping out my skin and when I finally saw you, it felt like my heart was going to explode. Ugh, doesn’t that sound corny?”
Eddie’s pulse pounded in his ears. It was corny, especially for you, who despite loving the cheesiest things he said to you, you rarely indulged him back. Eddie looked down at you, to reassure himself that you weren’t a figment of his imagination.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you said, hiding in the crook of his neck. Your light laughs and warm skin made all his nerves stand at attention.
This one, his heart thumped. He opened his mouth, the words on the tip of his tongue, when he felt you bite down onto a fading bruise from the week before. He jerked, surprised, and couldn’t help his laugh at the sight of your triumphant, mischievous smile.
“So,” you grinned, thrusting your hips down to his and Eddie was suddenly acutely reminded that he was still buried inside you. His body, however, was completely aware by the feel of things. He couldn’t keep a groan in, his entire body coming alive at your touch. “Ah, how about you jump me this time? I promise to let you lead.”
You waggled your eyebrows, your expression silly and comfortable, and delicately brushed some of his sweaty hair off his forehead. Eddie smiled, ignoring the lost opportunity – besides, what kind of asshole said it for the first time during sex? – kissed you and fell a little more in love.
He was pathetic.
/////
Eddie was having a shitty day. They were rare, being a ray sunshine like himself, but they happened.
Wayne knocked on his door and Eddie grunted. He didn’t try to hide the scent of the joint in his hand, just glanced over at him.
“You should go see her,” Wayne said, not forceful but stern. “She wasn’t the best but she was still your mother. She loved you the best way she knew how.”
Eddie nodded, not sure if he’d make the drive up to the cemetery but he didn’t want to start an argument. Not that Wayne would force him but, Eddie hated the idea of disappointing Wayne any more than he already had.
“Alright, I left you a burger in the oven if you want it,” Wayne said, sighing. “I’ll be back by tomorrow night. Why don’t you call one of your friends?”
“They’re busy,” Eddie lied.
“What about your girl?”
“She’s got a test tomorrow,” Eddie said, which was the truth, he’d watched you start studying yesterday – you were frantic and sure you were going to fail. You always said that though, a chaotic usual for you.
“I love you kid,” Wayne said quietly, “if you need me, uh, you can call me at Sam’s.”
Eddie didn’t know if it was the joint or his uncle’s once a year display of affection, but he felt completely gob smacked. He was sure his expression showed it because Wayne made a quick departure.
Great, now he couldn’t even say it to his uncle. Quite literally, the only family he had left.
Turning back to staring at the ceiling, Eddie heard a muffled knock at the front door. Wayne’s surprised voice quickly followed and a short laugh.
“Be gentle with him today, honey. He’s in a mood,” he heard Wayne say. Eddie frowned. There was only one person Wayne ever laughed with.
He heard a knock at his door and you peeked your head in. “Hi hot stuff.”
“What are you doing here?” Eddie asked. “Didn’t you have a study group tonight?”
“We both know I’ll probably ace the test anyway,” you said lightly, stepping in and closing his door softly. “You know, it’s considered a little rude not to answer your phone when your girlfriend calls.”
Eddie glanced at his phone. He’d managed to accidentally knock it off the receiver with his bag.
“I’m joking, in case that’s not obvious,” you said, hopping onto the bed and patting your thighs. Eddie laid his head on your lap and let the comfortable silence settle. Closing his eyes, he let the smoke furl within him, relaxing his shoulders.
He felt you trace the shape of his eyebrow, your fingers light and the action familiar. It helped dull the ache in his chest, like a balm he could never apply himself.
“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked him.
Eddie looked up at you, your expression open and eyes on him. Sometimes, in middle school -- when the bullying was at it’s worst because his growth spurt wouldn’t hit him until freshman year of high school. Even then, he still couldn’t punch for shit but at least he was taller than most of his classmates – Eddie would wonder if he’d ever get the chance to have someone who loved him again. Everyone else had parents, siblings, and cousins. He had Wayne; who, to give him credit, tried his best. He worked two jobs and long hours so it was inevitable that he wasn’t able to be around much. Eddie had only had himself growing up, and his abundance in energy, to rely on.
“Today’s my mom’s death anniversary,” he said, still a little numb.
“Hmm, okay,” you said, running your fingers through his hair methodically. “Do you want to talk it through, be mad about it, or distract away from it?”
Eddie glanced up, surprised. What little people knew always apologized, or worse, said she was watching over him. Guiding him. Which was bullshit because if she was supposed to be guiding him, she wasn’t being a better mother in death than she was in life.
“Can I choose two?”
“You, Dungeon Master, can choose whatever you want. This is your game,” you said, tracing his lips.
Eddie smiled and turned his face into your stomach. “She wasn’t a bad mom, she was just – not mentally checked in. She tried her best but it wasn’t good enough and I hate that I feel that way.”
Your hands ran up and down his back slowly, a soothing motion, the knots untangling themselves. Eddie watched you reach for his arm and squeeze it three times in a row. It seemed to activate a part of his memory because he turned to look at you. “You do that sometimes, with my hand, does it mean anything?”
He watched, a little surprised, as you startled. “Oh, I didn’t even realize,” you looked down at your hand, as if needing proof, and flushed.
Interesting.
“It’s a habit leftover from my dad,” you said, smiling at the memory, “Dustin was too young to remember but, he was super affectionate. He was always hugging us, holding our hands, giving us compliments. He loved seeing my mom light up or Dustin giggle at the attention. One day, I must’ve been like six years old, I told him that I felt bad that I wasn’t as loud or open with my affection like Dustin. I didn’t want him to think I didn’t love him, you know?”
Eddie nodded; he could imagine you as a little kid. Serious, protective, and a little badass.
“So, he told me that whenever he was holding my hand and I squeezed it three times, he would know that I…” Your eyes darted down to his and away quickly.
Love. That you loved him. Eddie’s heart sputtered, begging to be let out so it could jump into your hands. It wanted to go home.
“Um, he would know that I cared too,” you finished after clearing your throat. “After he died, mom, Dustin, and I just kept up the habit. It’s dumb, I know, but-”
“It’s not dumb,” Eddie interjected, hating the way you wouldn’t look at him. He felt the answer in chest. He knew now, that you felt the same – at least on some level. “It’s not dumb at all. It’s pretty fucking cool.”
I love you.
He wanted to sing it to the world but the words wouldn’t come. He felt caged and frustrated at his inability to just fucking say it. Your hand pulled him from the slippery slope of insecurity and he looked up at you.
“I…I care about you a lot. I just, want you to know that I know you care about me too,” you whispered. “Don’t stress, okay? At least not on my behalf. I’m not going anywhere.”
His blood froze. For some reason – whether it was his mother, his fucked-up childhood, or simply to prove everyone wrong, he wanted to be the first one to say it. He wanted to be able to scream it from mountains and for you to never doubt that you were so, so loved by him. It’s what you deserved. He just…wasn’t ready and you knew that. Somehow, you knew. You always knew. Maybe there really was a God, and maybe his mother had guided you to him. Luck, circumstance, religion, a club campaign, whatever it was – he’d never be more grateful for anything.
“Three was my mom’s favorite number,” Eddie said, the memory floating up to the front of his memory, “she said it was divine number. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. She used to drag me to church ever Sunday. I hated it. She thought it’d help with my energy or put me on a good path.”
“Clearly, it didn’t work,” you joked. Eddie pinched your thigh and you laughed, smacking his hand away.
Eddie continued to tell you stories about his childhood, about his mom. Her good days and bad days. How he’d sit with her on the bad days and sing to her because whenever he was sad, she’d sing to him. She was the first person to teach him that music was healing.
You listened, attention completely on him, and he reached for your hand. You smiled, letting him play with your fingers while he spun his stories. Feeling brave, he squeezed your hand three times. You returning smile was blinding and Eddie couldn’t help but think that sometimes, being brave was worth it.
/////
Eddie was obsessing and spiraling. Two things that should never go hand in hand when it came to him. It created a chaos even he didn’t know how to climb out of.
Enough was enough, Eddie berated himself. He had to stop dicking around and tell you.
What if you didn’t say it back? He smacked his head. Idiot, you already knew and were taking it at his pace. Isn’t that what you’d both alluded to last month?
Your six month anniversary was next weekend. Eddie would do it then. Gareth had already handed him the key to his uncle’s cabin in the woods this morning and it was burning a hole in his pocket. Eddie almost had enough money to buy that kickass necklace he saw at the mall. He knew you’d love it by the way your eyes had stuck to it when you’d walked by the store.
Eddie groaned, anxiety still thrumming in his chest.
He had a plan, goddamn it. He was going to buy roses, the necklace, and enough condoms to last a fucking apocalypse. He was going to tell you over dinner, because it was the truth and he was making a big deal out of nothing. Of course, you loved him back. Didn’t you show him every day? Eddie wanted a future with you, he’d all but admitted that to you already. He was going to graduate in three months, start working at the record store downtown, and finally ask you to move in with him. He was going to stop being a goddamn coward.
A knock at the window startled him so hard he smacked his head. Fuck. He glared at your laughing expression and unlocked the door.
“You did that on purpose,” he groaned, rubbing his head.
“Maybe,” you laughed, breathless from your jog over to the car.
“Hi sweetheart,” he said, turning to you.
“Hi,” you greeted back. You leaned across the center console and kissed him. Eddie grabbed your collar, held you in place for a minute, and deepened the kiss. “What was that for?”
Eddie grinned. “Can’t I be happy to see my lady? Even after she tried to scare me to death?”
You rolled your eyes. “You saw me twelve hours ago and it’s not my fault you didn’t hear me the first two times I shouted your name.” Your hand tangled with his and his chest lightened as he felt you squeeze his hands three quick times. He brought your hands up to him and kissed your knuckles. He squeezed back and you beamed.
“Okay, so you wanna hear about what happened with Sienna and Angie?” You asked, settling into your seat as he started the car.
“Always,” he grinned, pulling out the lot.
After including him on your day, Eddie let you know about his. He loved this part, the intimacy of it. “Ah, and Gareth gave me the keys,” he said, fishing the key ring from his pocket. “we’re good for next weekend.”
You grinned, bouncing in your seat a little and Eddie laughed. Your excitement was contagious. “I’m so excited! I’ve never been to that part of Indiana. Maria said it was beautiful, that there’s a lake nearby we could swim in.”
Eddie smiled, nodding along to your growing list of plans for that weekend. The light in your eyes and wide smile was wreaking havoc on his ability to keep it together.
The urge to blurt it out now was strong but Eddie gripped the wheel tighter. You deserved better. It was one week until spring break. He could last one week.
/////
Eddie really, really should’ve told you earlier. In his defense, he didn’t think that shit was going to hit the fan this badly. He was supposed to be in a cabin, two hours north, blissfully in bed with you. Instead, he was on this God forsaken lake, watching Harrington get pulled under the water.
"Don't you dare," Eddie growled, his hand gripping your wrist desperately. You couldn’t be thinking about jumping. He couldn’t let you.
"He's my best friend," you said, desperately, expression decided. "Eddie, he's been my best friend since I was three. I can't - I can't let him drown. I'm the next best swimmer, I was the other co-captain. I'll be right back okay sweetheart?"
"Henderson," he exclaimed, his panic clawing at his throat, "don't do this to me."
“You’d jump if it was me,” you said, peeling off what he knew was your favorite jacket and tossing it to the bottom of the boat. You reached over, grabbed his hand, and squeezed three times. Eddie’s anxiety shot through the fucking metaphorical roof. There was no way he was letting you go. Who knew what the fuck was down there? “Eddie, you wouldn’t let me drown.”
Eddie heard his voice hitch a touch too hysterically. “Because I want to marry you some day! I can’t do that if you’re jumping blindly into God knows what!”
“I know, but it’ll be okay,” You kissed him and Eddie tried to tighten his grip on you but you slipped away and jumped into the water quickly. Eddie dove to the side of the boat desperately.
“You can’t just kiss me and leave! Don’t Han Solo me!” Eddie let out a frustrated shout. "I can't fucking believe this," he grunted, standing at the edge of the boat without hesitation.
"Are you jumping in?" Nancy asked, her tone surprised and gaze frantic as she searched the water for the two of you.
Eddie glared at her. "She's the love of my life, of course I'm jumping in," he huffed, "Harrington better be fucking alive or I’m going to kill him myself."
Did he just admit to Nancy Wheeler, of all fucking people, that he loved you? He wanted to slap himself. After half a year, the first person he said it to -- wasn’t even his girlfriend. The panic in his chest didn’t let him dwell on it too long. You could be dead at the bottom of this stupid lake for all he knew. That thought sent him in a downward spiral. The memory of Chrissy’s body flashed across his mind, freezing his entire being. You couldn’t be dead, you couldn’t -- he wouldn’t survive it. Eddie Munson wasn’t a hero but he’d be damned if he stayed behind while you went headfirst into danger.
He felt a hand grab his and he turned to see Robin's determined face. "Let's go," she said, taking a deep breath. Eddie nodded, trying not to think about it too much, and jumped down the rabbit hole.
/////
Eddie was pretty sure his heart was ripped from his chest when the first thing he heard after falling through that weird ass portal was your screaming. It was guttural, primal, and worst of all - painful.
He angrily swiped the water from his eyes and found you — and what a magnificent sight you were. You had a broken oar in your hands, using the splintered end to stab through a demented looking bat. Alive. You were alive.
Scared and turned on, again. Damn if this wasn’t a cycle with you.
Without wasting another second, he ran towards you, picking up the other end of the oar from the ground.
His heart almost stopped again when he saw one land on your back, its claws ripping at your sweater. “Get the fuck off her!” He screamed, grabbing it by the tail and flinging away.
You whirled around, oar cutting through the air, and smacked it into the ground. Without hesitating, you jumped up and slammed both feet onto its head. Eddie winced as the bone fragments – holy shit what was his life – splintered under your feet. You flipped your hair out of your face, sweat beads across your forehead, and beamed at him. “Thanks sweetheart,” you said, spinning around and hitting another like you were passing out homeruns for free.
Eddie had three seconds to realize two things. One, he definitely had a boner. Maybe he should see someone about that. Two, he was never going to love anyone else as much and as deeply as he loved you.
“Duck!” Nancy screamed and Eddie hit the floor, knees scraping against the ground. He watched her smack another creature with her flashlight and he joined the fight.
Within minutes, Steve ripped the last one apart, spitting out a worrying amount of blood. Eddie watched you steady him and Steve caught his eyes. Eddie was surprised to see a glint in them.
"If you say anything about being turned on right now, I'll kick you," he said dryly to Eddie.
"You found it hot too?" Eddie said, unable to keep the touch of hysteria out of his voice. "Don't sexualize my girlfriend like that man, not cool."
Steve chuckled, moaning immediately after and you pinched the bridge of your nose. "You're both idiots." Robin pointed to the portal but soon, more screeching came from the skies.
Nancy herded you all towards the trees. "We need to hide, come on!"
Eddie came up to Steve’s other side and helped him limp into the refuge of the woods. You all covered a fair amount of ground quickly, everyone stopping to duck under the same rock he’d hidden by a few hours ago as a group of the bats flew by.
You and Nancy had ripped a few pieces of your shirts to tie around Steve’s oozing wounds. Eddie swallowed around a lump in his throat and reached for you when you’d stepped back.
“Are you hurt?” He asked, hands running down your body.
You shook your head at him. “Just a few bumps and scrapes. This isn’t my first rodeo Munson. You should’ve seen me last time,” you said, reeking of exhaustion and terror but still joking. He was pretty sure you did it to put him at ease.
Eddie felt his entire world tilt off its axis as he stared at you. You were dirty, bloody, and were still clinging onto the broken piece of oar like it was a deadly weapon. He thought back to you a few minutes ago and smiled. He guessed it was deadly. Eddie reached out to you and you immediately turned to his touch. You sometimes reminded him of a sunflower, always turning towards him. You never left, never judged, and never expected more than he could give.
This one, his heart thumped. Eddie felt adrenaline rush through him once more, the world disappearing around you.
"I love you," Eddie blurted out, wincing at the way your lips parted in surprise, "I'm sorry I'm finally saying it when we're in this hellhole and you're bleeding but we might die."
"I sincerely hope not," a Robin-sounding whisper muttered behind you both.
"I had a plan, in the cabin this weekend, I was going to - that doesn't matter anymore," Eddie's felt a surge of determination. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, as long as you'll have me, so I can't continue onward looking for Wheeler's guns - which, when the fuck did someone like Wheeler have guns? Although I wouldn’t have pegged you for being strapped either and then you stabbed those things like a goddamn warrior queen – which was hot by the way-”
"Eddie," you said with what looked like tears in your eyes, guiding him back to his original point.
"Right. I fucking love you princess. So don't be the hero, at least not without me," he said. "Wherever you go, I go, in this monster hunt, okay?"
Eddie watched as you said nothing, your eyes welling up and your grip on him tightened. After a few beats of silence, you spoke. "I love you too, Munson. So much."
"Yeah?" He said, tension bleeding out of his shoulders.
"Of course, how could you ever think otherwise?" You said, peppering his face with kisses. "I willingly listen to that awful band when you drop me off for work almost every week."
"Woman, do not insult Metallica in my presence," he grumbled, kissing you anyway. Eddie was pretty sure you could upend his entire life and he’d still follow you like a lost puppy. "Since we're airing things out, might as well go for gold - when we're out of this shithole, move in with me?"
You beamed. "Took you long enough to ask."
"I was going to ask this weekend!"
"Mhmm."
"I had a whole plan. Moving in was penciled in right after the second round, when you were all distracted, boneless, happy, and less likely to argue with me."
"I never argue with you," you huffed.
“What are you doing now?”
Eddie felt his entire body beam at you when you wrinkled your nose, huffing. “We’re discussing, Eddie.” God, he loved your haughty I-know-better-than-you voice.
"Princess, you're arguing with me about arguing with me."
"I'm not."
"Jesus, is this their foreplay?" Nancy muttered. You turned to glare at her.
“Yeah, kind of,” Eddie answered, smirking when you whipped your glare to him. “Well, at least I’m turned on.”
At that, Steve snorted and while you fought your smile - shaking your head – he could see it slowly growing.
"This is cute and all and I’m for you," Robin called out, "but we really need to keep moving."
"We're right behind you," you yelled back, loosening your grip on Eddie. He watched you reach up and bring your mouth to his ear. “Let’s get the fuck out of here so we can finally get that weekend away.”
Eddie’s blood thrummed, like it always did when you teased, and he reached out for your hand. “After you, m’lady.”
You both lagged a few feet behind the trio, your grip on his waist tight.
“Eddie?”
“Yeah?” Eddie turned to you, keeping an arm around your shoulders.
“I would’ve waited for you to be ready to say it,” you said quietly, “I never mind waiting for you.”
This one.
“I wanna be with you everywhere,” you sang softly, snorting when he shook his head at you. He really did love that damn song, not that he’d ever tell you that. Although, he’s sure you knew.
“I know,” Eddie said, and he did. “That’s why I love you.”
“I love you too, goof,” you said, grinning at him.
Eddie smiled and squeezed your shoulder three times.
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Hope you're having a good day!
I don't know much about Tokyo revengers other than it has a time loop (?) story telling device , and I go nuts for that trope so I was thinking of giving it a go. I was surprised to read that you kinda didn't like it at all hahah and as I think your tastes align a lot with mine (skip to loafer, no home, dorohedero my beloved) I'd love to hear more in depth what you didn't like, to know if I should give it a go or not. If I had to guess, considering it's a shonen, it might be because of the way girls are treated (first reason I'm dropping manga), but I wouldn't want to presume.
Thank you for always filling my feed with great manga recommendations!
hi hi! ah, tokyo revengers, my old enemy. i know tokyorev sounds interesting in terms of premise, but the problem with this manga lies in the execution, not the premise itself. like yeah, who doesn't like time traveling. and you're time traveling to save your childhood gf and friends? cool! and there's gangs! hell yeah! well. i wish it was as simple as that. first, if you're a big fan of time loops and time travel then you'll probably hate tokyorev lmao. the rules are all over the place. there is zero consistency, the time travel mechanics don't make sense at all. the more new information that gets added, the messier it gets. by the end of the manga it's just... like it's SO obvious the author is pulling stuff out of his ass. it has one of the most (if not THE most) ridiculous endings i've read in my life. you mentioned female characters and yeah, that's an issue too. but honestly when the writing is that bad... what can you expect. all female characters are there for emotional support, or for the men to cry when they die, they're always someone else's sisters, gfs, ex-gfs, etc. i think wakui tried to do something with senju...? (and failed!). basically she showed up for a while then disappeared iirc. anyway yeah, he can't write women. or more like he avoids writing women. but as i said, it's not like the male characters have a lot going for themselves. to this day i still don't know wtf was going on with mikey (won't say what i'm referring to in case anyone still wants to read it after i hit this manga with rocks repeatedly but if you did read it, you know what i mean). to me it was just boring overall. the characters couldn't be less interesting, and the point of the manga is that the mc has to SAVE them. so imagine what it feels reading a manga where these guys have to live and you just don't gaf about them. plus the author doesn't know what he's doing with the plot... man it's just a mess. and yes i read it until the very end. sometimes you just have to keep going to be an informed hater
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