#and jasper never being traumatize

[jaspvids]

The Diagnosis Of David

Disclaimer: I am by no means a mental health professional. This is just a meta-analysis.

What do we think of when we think of David?

His values of kindness. Optimism. Hope. Conviction. Passion. His drive to do his best every single day. The way he always makes an effort to reach out to others.

But also:

Attachment issues. People pleaser. Rose-colored glasses wearer. And at times, though the fandom doesn’t want to acknowledge it — Selfish. Unstable. Rude. Hypocritical. Kind of a dick.

See this video I made;

He’s complex, so let’s try to unpack him, and figure out what he’s got going on under that floof.

On David’s Childhood

David has been through a number of traumatic events in his childhood, most notably:

Witnessing Jasper fall to his near-death.

Finding Jasper, and being almost mauled by bears during the escape.

Clown school was apparently very bad, given the flashback-like reaction he had when it was mentioned. I’m unsure of his age when this occurred, however.

The fight with Jasper at the cave before they parted ways.

Losing Jasper. He says Cameron told him he was picked up by his parents, but I’m not convinced it’s not just his mind trying to erase painful memories.

As far as what we don’t necessarily see in the show, but can infer, David’s father was either not present or not great. He dreamt Cameron was his real father, as seen below.

And we all know Cameron is an awful father figure to begin with.

Yet, that’s better to David, apparently, than whatever he had at home. Which implies it was likely a pretty bad situation.

This can also be backed up by his attachment to the camp — growing up (and even now) it seems to be more of a home to him than his actual home.

That’s a home that hasn’t ever been mentioned, by the way. Contrary to Gwen, we know absolutely nothing about his family. He hasn’t talked about them once, if I recall correctly.

David is often open with emotions, if not wearing his heart on his sleeve. So why would he never mention his family and home?

We know why.

Even as an adult, he has retained this attachment to Cameron (who has in turn, continued to use this attachment to his benefit). He gets very excited about helping Cameron change in “keep the change” — because he needs to believe people who hurt him can get better. Otherwise, it’s too painful to bear.

The Loss Of Jasper

Part of his childhood, but significant enough to warrant its own section.

Jasper and David had a very interesting relationship. We’ve seen in the past that David was pessimistic, foulmouthed, and hot-tempered, directly compared to an optimistic, peppy, popular Jasper.

But then Jasper saw Cameron’s real self, and David received a modicum of praise for what was likely the first time based on his reaction. And so, they basically did somewhat of a switcheroo.

(David takes on many traits of Jasper after this experience, showing that he does admire him at the end of the day. I believe these traits are the foundation of David’s many masks.)

Despite the whole shebang, further episodes show us that they form a strong bond (or maintain one, we don’t know what happened before the first Jasper and David episode.)

What makes this friendship especially crucial in David’s development is that I believe Jasper was the first person to truly stand up for David.

David is, as we have seen, easily manipulated. Jasper picks up on this, and knowing Cameron’s just trying to use his best friend, tries to take Cameron down.

Jasper essentially died trying to protect David.

If Jasper hadn’t died, I don’t think David would have ended up as gullible and dependent as he is. If he had the more rational and realistic Jasper by his side during the rest of his developmental years, I believe things would have ended up much, much differently.

With Jasper’s death, there seems to be nobody else at camp who knows of Cameron’s crimes, or possibly, doesn’t want to speak out about them. Nobody to stand up for him. Nobody to redirect him.

So there’s nobody to stop the unhealthy-attachment-train from picking up speed.

Cameron And David’s Relationship

Cameron is manipulative and abusive towards David. This even becomes physical:

Despite this, David continues to idolize him as is seen in many cases of abuse. He works his ass off maintaining Cameron’s camp. Cameron’s approval makes or breaks him, because this is the man he sees as a father, unfortunately.

In addition, David is unable to let go of the hope that Cameron can change, because he’s convinced himself that deep down Cameron is still “good”, based on his skewed perception of him. And we all know how that ended.

But as Diane from Bojack Horseman once said —

And that is David’s problem — he wants so much for there to be a “deep down”, that there will be a day where Cameron showers him with praise and throws signed adoption forms at him, etcetera.

He judges Cameron not on who he actually is, but who he wants him to be. And so, the unhealthy attachment remains.

(Which is, of course, incredibly destructive to his mental health.)

Other Things We Know About His Mental Health, From Canon

We know he takes meds.

We know he has (sometimes dissociative) panic attacks.

We know he has been seen to suddenly snap, even to the point of violence.

My Final Conclusion: C-PTSD

(As the trauma has been not just one event, but many over the course of his life, and among other reasons, I believe CPTSD fits better than PTSD.)

David meets much of the criteria, most notably:

Lack of emotional regulation

Dissociation

Flashbacks

Anxiety

Guilt and shame

Distorted perception of abuser

Relationship difficulties

Okay this was long I’m tired good night.

#camp camp #camp camp david #cc david

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Why are Lapis and Peridot so desperate to escape when they're safe on the moon base?

I think that's a great question.

People often presume that Lapis' primary motivation is merely 'get away from the Crystal Gems' and 'be safe'. They take her going to the moon as a 'win' in her arc. Like it was a logical and final solution, and therefore - yeah, why not go to the moon and just be done with it?

Easy, right?

But Lapis never wanted to be alone on the moon. Lapis' primary, original motivation is and always has been 'I Want To Go Home.'

Even in canon, her going to the moon wasn't a happy ending. She was using it as a last resort. She isolated herself there and was miserable because Lapis isn't actually antisocial. She wants to have friends.

The problem is, she's traumatized and scared and that doesn't make her a good team-player. She's scared of being trapped, and she's scared of being mistaken for an enemy. Don't forget that she was originally trapped in the mirror because she "was picked up by a Homeworld Soldier and confused for a Crystal Gem... and used as a tool."

She doesn't want to stay indefinitely on the moon.

In the AU, she took Peridot there because she does feel it's safe for the moment and she feels in control. But ultimately, she wants something Definitive that would prove to Homeworld that that she is, without a doubt, NOT a traitor, and should not be treated as one.

The first time she tried to leave Earth, she got caught by Jasper and Peridot, and she realized that just going back wasn't going to cut it.

So she switched tactics. She decided to use Peridot as a shield, to prove that she was doing what was 'right' - working WITH Homeworld.

And Peridot? Doesn't want to be on the moon either.

Peridot wants to complete her mission and be a good gem. In a way, she's also using Lapis as a shield - but more physically, because Lapis is clearly the stronger fighter of the two of them.

Both of them want to go home. Both of them are simply trying to do what they think is necessary to prove themselves 'good soldiers' so that what happened to Lapis doesn't happen to them again.

That's why they're so desperate to get Stevonnie and Earl off their backs. Their plan was to make a call to Yellow and pacify her needs, and essencially use the Cluster's flawless emergence as currency to beg for her protection and safe transport.

But now that Yellow has been...

hung up on in the middle of conversation

not called back in time to watch the Cluster emerge

third thing - take your pick (Lapis and Peridot merged, Stevonnie is in the moonbase, etc)

...Peridot realized that there is no salvaging this situation. There's no more time to fix it, rather. She has not technically failed her mission, but in trying to protect it, she has dug herself an ever-deeper hole. And there's no missing the fact that Stevonnie's words DID resonate with her.

It's not a clean cut 'just stay on the moonbase, it's not like the Cluster will get you here :)'

Things are already permanently fucked. Peridot and Lapis are both doomed, and in a sense, their desperate scramble for survival they have ultimately doomed each other.

#chekhov answers #wdau meta #lapis lazuli #spoilers #wdau spoilers

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if the Cullens were trapped in the town of Silent Hill?

If you're unaware, Silent Hill is a tourist town with a dark secret. It has the power to "call" those with darkness in their hearts or unresolved trauma and trap them in a nightmarish Other World. This Other World is a reflection of a person's mind plastered over the town, populated with monsters derived from a person's fears, vices and personal demons.

The only way to escape the Other World is to go on a journey the town creates for you to confront and come to terms with your past.

I'm just thinking, with all the baggage the Cullens have, Silent Hill would have a field day with them. Especially Bella and Edward.

So, who do you think would escape from Silent Hill? My money's on Carlisle and Rosalie, personally. Renesmee, Esme, Jasper and Alice I'm not so sure about. It could go either way. Bella and Edward though? Yeah, probably not.

Emmett, by far being the most grounded and, for lack of a better term, sanest Cullen probably wouldn't be drawn into the Other World. He's just stuck in a tourist town with a panicking Jacob wondering where the hell everyone is.

Interesting question, I haven't played the games nor seen the movie adaptations but I know there's a Pyramid Head.

But I can work with this premise. Alright, let's bullet point the Cullens. Who escapes from Silent Hill?

Alice

Alice has no memories of Mary Alice Brandon's traumatic past. It doesn't even seem to be repressed so much as a product of electroshock therapy in the 1920's. Alice also has very little angst about the fact that she's missing her memories and most of her problems are due to Edward's nonsense and are more or less easily solved if she works around him and the Volturi.

What I'm getting at is that Alice is never called.

She's also stuck with Emmett in this dumb tourist town wondering why they decided to vacation in Virginia.

Bella

Bella has no idea what the fuck is happening. The thing about Bella is she takes things at such face, literal, value that she would just think this is a town of monsters that has absolutely nothing to do with her. Even when it becomes increasingly obvious this is a metaphor for the choices she made, her own insecurities, and her own fears.

Bella tries to get out and gets increasingly frustrated when no solution presents itself.

She doesn't escape because she doesn't want to confront herself.

Carlisle

Ooh baby, yep, Carlisle's going. Canonically he seems to have unresolved issues with his late father, his witch burning past, the fact that he gave into loneliness and turned the others into vampires (especially when he learns that not all desired to become one and may rather have died) not to mention the whole Twilight saga which destroys his friendship with Aro and gives him increasing existential dread.

I imagine Carlisle has a horrible time in a town full of everything on fire.

However, as you note, I imagine he gets out. Carlisle in canon (for all we don't see much of him) does seem to have done a good job coming to terms with his own history and who he is. He confronts difficult things such as whether or not he should have turned the others and does vocally wonder about them to Bella. He notes that he went through great introspection over whether being a vampire made him evil and Edward notes he has great distress over what he did as a human to people who turned out to be innocent after all.

Carlisle would realize what this place is and that he has to go on this journey to confront the worst part of himself.

(True to hilarious Twilight fashion, I imagine he'd get out of this personal journey hellscape and find himself with his oblivious family who have no idea anything happened to him at all.)

Edward

Oh yes, Edward was made for this place. The thing is I think Edward would catch on very fast to what this is, that this is a place of his own personal demons (ah, hello Pyramid Head) but he wouldn't want to admit it or confront it. He would rail against it, he knows what he is and he knows he wants to do anything but confront or accept it. He saw the demon already when he nearly ate Bella in Biology, he has no desire to do so again.

I imagine as he continues to resist more terrible things happen (I am sure a copy of Bella gets eaten somewhere in here) and Edward chooses to embrace madness or the illusion rather than get through and let the monster consume him (as that's what he'd fear the answer is).

Edward doesn't get out.

Emmett

Yup, never goes.

He has no idea what's happening and where everyone went. He figures they'll show up eventually (hoping the Volturi didn't get them or something.)

Esme

Esme... you know, I think she might. Esme would find herself in a very lonely and unpleasant place, it'd take her a while, but I imagine she'd eventually realize this all has to do with her and that she never truly confronted the past or herself. She gave up on life and then immediately was handed everything she'd ever wanted and so had never had to face that.

Esme leaves and has to become a person again.

Jasper

"Ah, hello darkness, my old friend" Jasper immediately recognizes what this is and what's happening to him. Doesn't matter that it's a surreal nightmarefest, all of it's just somehow so very familiar.

I give Jasper a 50/50 chance. The thing is, Alice threw him a lifeline before and he's still clinging to it with all his might. He was never really saved from who and what he was, he just hopes desperately that Alice and the Cullens will keep him afloat.

This journey would have to show him that that isn't enough and he would have to realize as much and realize that Alice can't save him if he doesn't do his own part as well.

(Which of course, would be terrifying to him, because if Alice can't save him then Jasper sure as hell can't save himself).

Renesmee

What you get is essentially a surreal version of Bleach on the Brain by @therealvinelle.

Renesmee at first is very confused and terrified by all of this. She's separated from her family, this place is filled with strange monsters reminiscent of the Volturi, but slowly Renesmee realizes that these are her fears and insecurities, that she doesn't love Jacob and is terrified of him, and her family are strangers to her and she's not sure any of them love her.

I like to believe Renesmee would get out but it would mean letting go of the illusion of her family, the belief that she must matter to them, and learning to confront the possibility that none of them might care at all.

Rosalie

Yup, she's going there, and like Jasper she immediately realizes what this is for all she's horrified by it. I imagine Rosalie's in a state of panicked terror as she was supposed to be done with this: she'd gotten her revenge, murdered all of them, had put it out of her mind as fast as she could.

Rosalie would really struggle but I imagine eventually pull through. She'd have to recognize that Emmett can't fix everything, that there were some things she never let go, that she's still searching for affection and love she's not sure she'll ever receive (from Edward as well as Alice).

However, Rosalie's a very strong person emotionally who did face something like this once before and pulled through. She wants to get better, to be a better person, so I think she'd make it through.

TL;DR

Edward and Bella are the only one's I'd say definite no towards.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #the cullens #bella swan #alice cullen #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #emmett cullen #esme cullen #rosalie hale #jasper whitlock #renesmee cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

[beevean]

While I like Steven Universe and all of it's misgivings (even though I feel some parts of it could be written a bit more realistically, like Kevin and Steven's weird animosity angle), I always felt that the Movie adding Spinel was kind of a lazy and thoughtless decision just to make Pink Diamond more cruddy than she really is. I get that as part of the regime that considered castes wouldn't treat their lower halves with such kindess as they would the parts they belonged to, but it just seemed rather out of character for Pink to discard Spinel and make her stay in her garden for so damn long, if we were to assume Pink actually did shatter her Pearl accidentally. If there was more instances of Pink Diamond being that volatile in the show and not a lot of heresay (The Crystal Gems talking about Pink like she's an spoilt brat, for example), I'd probably would buy it more. As it stands, there's too little information thanks to the nature of the show, and it really just feels like after the revelation of Pink and Rose Quartz being one and the same, they forgot to give more humanizing qualities to Rose, especially sinc she's such a trigger for Steven in Future.

Spinel, to me, only exists to make Pink Diamond more cruel than she actually is, and I don't actually like Spinel because of that.

I agree with you in part. I don't think Spinel exists only to make Pink look more cruel, but I think the show started villainizing her a little too much in general, culminating in Future.

The idea is sound on paper. Present a character as a paragon of unreachable goodness, to the point that Steven feels like everyone expects him to measure up to his dead mom, and then start showing the cracks in her shining armor: she looked down on the same humans she swore to protect, she bubbled Bismuth, she shattered Pink Diamond and is the reason Homeworld hates everything to do with Earth, she was Pink Diamond and lied to all of the CGs and forced Pearl to keep her secret. We see her at her best, and slowly we go backwards to see at her worst. The idea is that we're supposed to put together the events in reverse order and appreciate her character development... but in practice, it means that Steven just starts to resent Rose and have an attitude of "yes mom sucks, must be a day ending in Y"

Future is what irked me the most. The last time Rose is plot relevant, we discover that she literally traumatized Pink Pearl through a temper tantrum. The last time we see Rose, it's her painting stuffed inside Lion's mane, out of sight and out of mind. The last time we hear her name, Steven is angrily comparing Greg to her. Everyone has moved on from her, but not in a healthy way, but in an almost... cancelled way? The narrative put too much focus on her bad actions, and seemingly forgot that Pink did a massive work on herself to do the closest thing a Gem can to grow up.

Spinel is just one of those examples. As an antagonist, she works, she's out of her mind with emotional pain, Pink and not Rose hurt her (so Steven can't just tell her the truth, like she did with Jasper and the Diamonds), and her inner conflict is abandonment issues, which how in the hell is Steven supposed to solve? He doesn't, the Diamonds do. But... yeah. Since Rose isn't around to defend herself, a recurring theme in SU, we never learn why she never came back for Spinel. Maybe because the portals were broken! But the narrative just leaves us with "Pink was a jerk and abandoned her friend because she was annoying" (or because she was meant to replace Pink Pearl in a shallow, insulting way, but still).

This is a big flaw of trying to paint the complexities of a dead character. We have to rely on hearsay, different opinions, and so does the titular character. Steven decided that Rose was a liar, and that's where the show stopped. It sucks, because Rose is my favorite character in the show and back in the day I swear that she was more hated than the Diamonds :<

#steven universe #rose quartz #pink diamond

[bardcore-jaskier]

♡ Challenge for Netflix: stop treating Jaskier as comedic relief ♡

(I made this post piggyback riding off of my last one, like a part two if you will.)

Ok, so you know how Jaskier always seems to get into trouble? And either Geralt and as of season 2, now Yennefer as well, always seem be rescuing him? Even Jaskier himself made a joke about it to our beloved witch.

- "You don't get to play damsel in distress. That's my job."

Sadly, it paints a little bit of an unflattering picture of him to the audience, making many of us wonder (well, not on this side of Tumblr, we know he is a badass motherfucker) about how he survives whenever he is not by a strong witcher's/sorceress's side.

Have you considered though....

That the entire series is written and shot from the POV of ridiculously powerful individuals and Geralt in particular, being the main character of both the books, games & the series, has an extreme savior complex, more so bordering on a martyr complex.

In the Netflix Witcher series and unlike the books: Geralt's friendship with Jaskier started off rocky until he begrudgingly accepted that he can not get rid of the bard, eventually becoming a little fond of him, appreciating Jaskier's loyalty above every other quality Jaskier has, which makes Jaskier easy to trust. (However it is still apparent that their friendship is a little, if not a lot, one-sided)

Obviously Geralt doesn't want Jaskier's death or severe injury on his conscience, which is why he jumps in every time he senses danger, to save him before anything bad happens.

We as the audience only see Netflix's or rather Lauren's version of the story about a scorned hero who has a fragile, trouble magnet, human friend he feels responsible for. When in reality, the only few instances Jaskier wouldn't have survived without outside help were a) the Djinn, b) Rience, c) the opening scenes of Blood Origin.

Other than that, Jaskier is actually a VERY competent person! Alas, not much of that competence was shown on screen, we got mere crumbs of it to be honest. Like how despite being a flowery pacifist, he is braver than most + apparently he is a beefcake too. At 18/19 years old, he wasn't scared of approaching a witcher who at the time, was rumored to be a murderer. He always finds a way to stay lighthearted during the most dire of situations, always getting right back up with a smile or a snide comment after every traumatic experience, as if it never happened. (Is he like immune to PTSD or something? Nothing brings him down.) He even managed to start an elf smuggling operation for fuck's sake!

During the finale episode of season 2, many seasoned witchers died in battle at the hands of Voleth Mier, his chances of surviving were beyond slim. Any other normal human being would have dropped that damn jasper and ran for their life, but not Jaskier! No sir! He crawled his way towards Geralt under a wooden table, as monsters and witchers alike dropped to their deaths around him, all to help his friend!

In the books, Dandelion is presented to us as a smooth talker, able to get himself in and out of almost any kind of trouble with words + charisma alone. He is an Oxenfurt professor, has worked for the Redanian intelligence, he has connections all over the continent.

And I really hope that we will get to see all of that in future seasons, I hope that Geralt's attitude towards him changes, I hope that Jaskier gets the respect he deserves! Because after season 2, I am going to keep watching the series only for Jaskier alone. Also Yennefer. I do not much like Geralt and Ciri in the live adaptation at the moment.

#jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #netflix witcher #witcher netflix #dandelion #jaskier dandelion #geralt of rivia #witcher geralt #witcher ciri #cirilla of cintra #cirilla fiona elen riannon #yennefer of vengerberg #yenneferthewitcher #competent jaskier #bamf jaskier #geraskier #lambskier #yennskier #part elf jaskier #rant post #vent post #challenge for Netflix #netflix #lauren hissrich #joey batey #henry cavill

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hey! @sonyawix

This is an interesting take and I had to consult with the Holder of the Jalice Braincells (@volturialice) to really break this down.

It sounds like the author of that take is kind of more interested in perfect, idealized relationships and might not be a fan of Alice, honestly. Plus SMeyer made a lot of the relationship dynamics in canon a really odd thing - we see all three Cullen relationships as very one-dimensional because of the relationship triptych I've ranted about before.

Because of Alice's backstory and her gift, we know that she's going to be a bit of a weirdo. She's essentially bet everything she has that the pictures in her brain are a path to happiness, that Jasper will make her happy. She has no reference point to interpersonal relationships beyond her visions, she has no memories of humanity; we really aren't shown exactly what level she was functioning at when she woke up. Those 28 missing years would be fascinating in how she built herself into a functional individual, honestly.

She bets everything on Jasper, and I think that shows what an optimistic, determined person she is. She could have gone to the Cullens straight away and probably would have been welcomed warmly - there's nothing in canon indicating that wasn't an option. But for whatever reason, Alice commits to waiting for Jasper. That's loyalty and dedication and love.

Just because their meeting was fated/planned doesn't mean it isn't meaningful.

So Alice seeing Jasper for all those years is not going to necessarily match up with him in real life. It's one thing to know a person has trauma, it's entirely another to meet that traumatized, depressed person. It's one thing to get the greatest hits of the relationship pumped straight into the brain, it's another to have all those small moments, those in-between times.

We know from Jasper's time with Maria that he tends to deify the women he's involved with. He put both Maria and Alice on a pedestal. That's just how he loves and commits - fully and totally. His 'hyperfocus' on Alice is a sign of how much he loves and treasures her. I honestly don't think it would have mattered how or when they met, Jasper would have treated her the same - the most precious thing he has.

We also know that Jasper has spent the best part of one hundred years in a high-stress environment where nothing was guaranteed. He didn't trust Maria at the end. So being introduced to someone who could tell him which path would be safe? Where there was no risk or fighting? I think that would be an incredible support for Jasper. I imagine in the early days, he'd probably ask Alice to check the future more than necessary because of his PTSD. And I can imagine Alice checking every time he asked, and going over all the details with love and patience.

And we know that Jasper does go against her wishes - he disagreed with her decision to return to Forks when Alice thought she had died, and Alice went alone (side note, if Jasper had gone with her, there was an opportunity for a lot of Eclipse set up right there.)

As for dehumanizing all her relationships, Alice is very distinctively trying to help throughout the series. It might be over the top, and it might not go to plan, but all of her visions and guidance are meant to help the people she loves. Alice has never known life without her sixth sense, so of course she uses it like we use our five senses. Does it give her a God-complex? Yes. Do I think it's meant to be more of a nod to Meyer's insistence on calling her a 'pixie' and utilizing fae imagery since fairies in lore are supported to love helping? Absolutely.

I think it's pretty disingenuous to say that people are 'ideas' to Alice when she was changed and abandoned. It's more likely that Alice is more intensely aware of what makes them happy so that they all stay together and she's not left alone again. If she didn't see people as people, but as chess pieces, then she wouldn't have go to see Charlie when she thought Bella was dead; she wouldn't have gone to Volterra to save Edward; she wouldn't have taken Jasper with her to find the hybrid.

So yeah, I disagree pretty strongly with this because it feels more like a way to minimize and dismiss Alice and her relationship with Jasper. But this is just my take on the character, and I'm sure there are dozens of different readings and interpretations out there!

#alice cullen #jasper hale #the twilight saga #jalice #what is a 'natural relationship' really? i'm ND i just like your vibes and adopt you forever and that's weird to some people #in the end alices gift is about protecting her and her loved ones #and you could argue that is how it's used throughout the series #jasper simps his wife #alice adores her husband and she's just there trying to make everyone happy

[i-am-trying-my-best-okay]

Back On My Next Generation Shenanigans

Angeline "Andi" Jocelyn Herondale: The first Clary and Jace child. She has curly blond hair, freckles, and green eyes. She's very charming, but she's also been going through this life long crisis that the Shadowhunter's are in a never ending battle with the demons that will never end through the generations, only ending when the demons win; she's a bit of a natural pessimist. She thinks a lot about society and such, looking into the mundane forms of government, hoping it would be better then the Shadowhunter ones and was just like these all kind of suck, society sucks, I should make up my own form of government. She fights demons with knives, like a strange amount of knives; she'll hold like seven at once and slice away, she'll throw them and then pull some more out of nowhere. Thanks to this existential dread for her and the future generations thing, she ends up coming up with theories on how to just kill all demons forever, doing all kinds of research and experiments. With this, things get kind of messy. She also is kind of thinking about starting a coup, to overthrow the Shadowhunter form of government and implant a better one, which also gets kind of messy. Like I said, she's very charming, so she forms a whole group of people. Honestly, since she's so ambitious and willing to do many things to fulfil those ambitions, I think she might end up as a sort of antagonist, which should give an interesting dynamic with her family and friends. I can also see Shadowhunter's being like 'is it really surprising considering her grandfather' even tho she has a completely different set of ideals.

Jasper Robert Herondale: The second clace child. He has curly red hair, freckles, and black eyes. Much to surely everyone's surprise, he's a very quiet person, and to nobody's surprise, he would rather die then share even a hint of his true feelings. He gives big gentle giant vibes; man's just over here looming in the corner freaking people out, but the people who know him are just like 'nah, he's fine, he's just happy to be here'. He's the only one that got the tall genes, standing tall over all his other short siblings. He fights demons with a sledgehammer. When he was little he got kidnapped, but instead of pulling a Mina, he actually got traumatized. It was a mundane that kidnapped him, which is why it took a while to find him because nobody thought it was just some random mundane that took him. The mundane was going to sell him and some other kids to some rich buyer, but when the Shadowhunter's stormed the area to get Jasper they freaked out and started killing the kids as some sort of last minute cover up, not wanting to be caught with ties to the market cause then they'll just be assassinated in prison. But his parents got to Jasper before they could kill him, now the last survivor. This resulted in Jasper having a bit of a savior complex, feeling like he needs to save everyone since he feels like all those kids died because of him and he couldn't do anything about it, him, a Shadowhunter in training. It didn't help that he was naturally protective to begin with, now it was just twice as intense. This complex should lead to interesting thing when Andi goes all rouge.

Samuel Lucian Herondale: The third clace child. He has curly blond hair, freckles, and green eyes. He's the artist of his siblings, often drawing made up, disturbing looking creatures, along with other strange looking things. He's got this ever growing, hard to understand imagination, and it makes him come across as a bit strange and awkward, but he does have a lot of cool comics he's drawn but never published, though he wants to. The way he ends up fighting demons is sort of unusual; turns out, some of those creepy looking creatures he draws he can make come to life to fight alongside him, his parents angel blood coming through. Though he does have a weapon as well, that being a seraph blade. Despite it being angel power, and despite everyone literally knowing his parents whole Angel deal, Shadowhunter's are still side eyeing him for how demonic his creatures look. They're literally pulling out his family tree like 'oh wow Tessa the warlock is your great great great great grandma I bet that's those demon powers' or whatever. He's basically gaslit into thinking he's a demon, despite his parents being like 'it's probably just our angel powers but even if it's demon powers that's okay too'. But Samuel was already insecure, and this just fed into it. But ironically enough, he can't hate this power, making friends with the little creatures he makes; he just hates himself. I think out of all the Herondale kids he understands the most of why Andi went rouge.

Marigold "Mae" Celina Herondale: The youngest clace child. She has curly red hair, freckles, and gold eyes; kinda looks fox like now that I think about it. She's very quick witted, can talk on and on for hours and never run out of quips. Super competitive as well; whatever she gets into she will work herself to the bone to be the best. Although when she gets competitive, it just feels fun to her really, something to get passionate about, but then most people end up taking it wrong and get all heated about it or feel overwhelmed or something of that like, and she doesn't know how to correct it, especially in the moment. She fights demons with dual machete's. Mae often struggles with that connecting to people thing, but then there was the time when she actually connected with a demon more than a person. It was some random demon that could talk, and they were fighting but they both got sort of competitive about it and one thing led to another and now she and this demon are sort of besties. This led to her having a bit of a crisis of her befriending this demon so easily when she can't do the same with people, wondering what that makes her and if she's even worthy of being a Shadowhunter. Then there's the whole sneaking around to see her demon friend and worrying about when it came down to it what side would she be on. Honestly, she's more worried about what Andi will do to her and her demon friend then the Clave.

Noelle Rebecca Lightwood: Simon and Isabelle's first child. She has black hair and brown eyes. She's very much a poised, calm person. She's an introvert to the point where people think she's rude, but really she just can't handle socializing for very long, making her words seem clipped in dismissive, which she always ends up feeling guilty about. But she has a bunch of random, niche interests, that if you get her going on one of those she'll talk your ear off. She fights demons with a bow and arrow; Alec taught her. She's a bit of a glass child really, as her two siblings prove to be a bit of a handful, and she's seen as the 'easy to handle one'. Simon and Isabelle of course don't do this on purpose, they just have their hands full with the other two, and Noelle ends up festering in this. This leads to her physically unable to ask for help, not knowing how or if it's even allowed. She has all these insecurities and feelings she desperately needs help sorting out, and other people are always like 'wow your so put together and independent', making her feel this expectation and driving her into further isolation so people don't know she's not put together or think she's too needy.

George Maxwell Lightwood: The middle sizzy child, who definitely thought his name was inspired by 'George Lucas' before they told him about George Lovelace. He has brown hair and blue eyes; Will's eyes live on once again. He tends to feel things very deeply, doesn't know how to take things causally. Everything makes him feel these intense emotions, and people tell him he needs to 'calm down', or even think he's faking it, but that's just how he feels. He's also big into movies; he remembers every detail of every movie he's ever seen, researching the background of the movies as well. He has a multitude of screenplays he has written that he thinks aren't good enough to go on to become an actual movie. But his ability to feel things deeply assist him in writing these screenplays, able to insert such feeling in his characters and the presentation of situations. He fights demons with a seraph blade. George secretly doesn't really want to be a Shadowhunter; he wants to go off and make movies and such. But he feels guilty about it, what with feeling like if he takes irf he's betraying all of humanity. And there's also the stigma of his dad, Simon, being originally a mundane. People would say things like it was in his 'blood' to be a mundane, and that attitude would also go to his siblings, so he keeps quiet.

Lorelei Maryse Lightwood: The last sizzy child. She has brown hair and dark brown gold eyes. She's very much a free spirit, always running off and getting into shit, always disappearing and coming back after some strange misadventure. She just could never find it in herself to stay in one place. Girl will literally be missing for like a week and show up with jar of blood or whatever and is like 'I can explain'. She's a drummer, a very good one, hoping from band to band because she always seems to get involved in the shittiest bands who she insists 'have potential' but then they always end up falling through. That's how she gets into a lot of her misadventures really; she gives people the benefit of the doubt way too much, she looks for and finds people's best selves, which while sweet, can get her involved with bad people. She fights demons with this spiky baseball bat. Like I said, this trusting nature of hers gets her into trouble, but the biggest trouble she's gotten in is when she accidently got involved with some small that worships the demons and think they should take over the world. Now she knows way too much about this strange, ridiculously over funded cult, and is trying very hard to stop them while not telling anyone she has ties to such a treason. Worse yet, she ends up falling in love with someone in this organization, which makes things all the more complicated.

Eleanor Jia Penhallow: Helen and Aline's first child. She has black hair, freckles, and blue eyes. This was a planned adoption, a Shadowhunter orphan whose parents died fighting demons, now in need of a home. She's a bit of an actress, being able to disguise as different people as well as characters of her own creation. She really throws herself into these roles, using it to find out information and such, a bit of a spy in her own right really, pulling information for the Clave and for her allies. She's quick and able to read situations and people quickly, adding to her ability to act in difficult situations. This also leads her to know more then she probably wants to know, even of her friends, which can make her feel like she's being intrusive even when she's just looking at them. She fights demons with a double edged blade. A lot of the time she has trouble pulling herself out of said roles, sometimes feeling like she doesn't have a true personality and that even when she's not in a role and she supposedly 'herself' that it's not really her, that she's still acting. This leads to a bit of an identity complex, not really sure who she really is at a 'default', if the way she is is just another role or if it's natural, because she doesn't know.

Edmund Liam Penhallow: Heline's next child. He has curly black hair and brown eyes. This was more of an accidental adoption, a Shadowhunter abused by his parents that ran away to the Los Angeles institute at the age of only 9, of whom Helen and Aline get very attached to. He's very cautious and observant. He likes research; he knows every bit of Shadowhunter history and Mundane history, he knows how to fight with weapons he doesn't even wield, he learns about random things that one would think would never come up in a situation but when it does he's ready to info dump much to everyone's bafflement; guy's just a bundle of knowledge about basically everything. He fights demons with this hammer and nail thing, both using the hammer to hit the demons and for hitting the nails at a long distance at the demons. His parents were very much not careful with him. They put runes on him too young, they threw him in front of demons too young saying that was his training, and so on. The final straw that caused him to run away was when they had somehow got it in their head that he had the potential to talk to ghosts. His parents had heard of the Herondale's connection to ghosts, and one time they saw Edmund muttering to himself so they were like 'clearly he has the potential to talk to ghosts as well'. Edmund tried to correct this, as he very much could not talk to ghosts, but they just threw him into some sort of morgue for 'training', refusing to let him out until he made some sort of connection to a ghost. He tried to lie, say he did, but his parents saw through the lie every time. Two weeks passed before he gave into hunger and began eating the only thing edible in that room; the dead bodies. Another week passed, and at that point he thought his parents weren't ever going to let him out, but then they did. It was then that he ran away, the taste of dead people never truly leaving his mouth. Honestly, the way he saw it, his parents jumped the gun a lot on him, doing things to him without properly understanding, being so reckless with him. So this sort of fed into his obsessive 'I must know every detail before doing anything' thing he does, as he doesn't want to be like them, and he thinks this will prevent people from being hurt. I also think the whole eating dead people thing definitely led to an eating disorder of some kind, unable to eat a lot of foods without tasting dead people.

Andrew "Andres" Blackthorn Rosales: Eldest kiearktina child, born from Cristina and Mark. He has curly black hair and golden eyes. He adores the forest life, wants to explore every part of it. Though, the forest didn't naturally like him back at first, as he didn't have that natural connection to it like the Fae. But he learned the ways of the forest, able to navigate it like no one else, and now the forest likes him back. He wants to travel the world and explore all sorts of different terrains, map them out, understand them all. The guy has crazy survivalist skills he's both learned about and discovered through trial and error, and he can and will go on rants about them at any given moment. He fights demons with this mysterious sword the forest gave him as a gift that definitely won't lead to any sort of plot line don't worry about it. The Fae disapprove of his entire existence, looking at him in a sort of 'what is he even doing here'. He's only partially Fae, and they don't consider that to be enough, even though Andres feels more connected to the Fae then he does with Shadowhunter's. They don't even really consider him to be Kieran's son, despite the many, many times Kieran has made it very clear he is. They pick on him and do cruel tricks on him a lot, nothing to permanently damage him physically, since he does have that amount of protection from Kieran's name, but it does take it's toll on him mentally. His parents know what's going on, but he never tells him who did it.

Juniper "Junie" Kingson Rosales: Youngest kiearktina child, born from Cristina and Kieran. She has curly blue hair and silver eyes. She's very much attracted to the city life, lowkey hating the forest life, not vibing in their cottage core lifestyle; very much the opposite of her brother. Girl is super into architecture, learns about the different styles from all over the world, she's obsessed. She has doodles of her own architecture, and she wants to make them a reality someday. She fights demons with a three balled flail. She isn't considered to be a true heir, as Cristina is considered a consort. But that's good for her because she didn't want to be the heir anyway; life in the fOrESt? Forever? No thank you. Give her that industrialization. But there does need to be an heir, and Kieran very much does not want to have a child with some other Fae woman just to have one, so as time wears on it's looking like an illegitimate heir is looking better than no heir. That would skip over her brother and to her, because even though Kieran of course sees them both equally as his children, she has Kieran's blood in her, so the Fae would consider her first. Of course, Kieran has siblings it would go to first, but even the slight possibility of it ever going to her puts her on edge. She feels it in the other Fae's eyes, that they hate her, but they'll take her as a last resort. She feels it in the way they talk to her, like they want to hurt her so bad, but don't just in case she does end up ruling over them. As such, being around most Fae make her uncomfortable, and would rather be with the Shadowhunter's.

Benjamin "Benji" Livia Blackthorn: The only blackstairs child; I'd imagine after raising all of his siblings, Julian might opt to spend all his energy into one kid rather then several. He has curly brown hair, freckles, and blue green eyes. He has a love for making weapons, not just weapons that already exist, but ones he thinks up himself. He'll experiment with new ideas and even fashion to better suit the individual person. He's very passionate about it, leading him to come off as very intense. He'll go out and actively seek out demons to test his prototype weapons on alone. It's a very dangerous thing that Emma and Julian have desperately tried to stop, but Benji is incredibly stubborn and tenacious, a consequence of having Emma and Julian's genes. But when he's fighting with other people, he's less likely to just test something he hasn't before, as he doesn't want to put other people at risk, so when he fights demons with other people he switches between a multitude of weapons he's tested before that were successful. People are very wary of Benji's weapons because they're breaking tradition; he's mixing metals that have never been mixed. People call it a disgrace to the Angel's gifts, saying he's basically spitting in the Angel's face; so as you can imagine, Benji isn't very popular. There was this one time when he was younger that he was told some kids were going to meet up, so he met up with them without telling his parents because he didn't think it would take that long, only for to be locked in a closet in their house for like a day before Emma and Julian found him. The kid wasn't trying to kill him, the kid was planning to let him out after a few days, but he didn't tell Benji that. It was a very traumatizing event, and he became rather claustrophobic and suspicious of people who are nice to him after that.

#I'm currently resisting the urge to jump the gun and make some ash x dru kids #I picture Ty and Kit not having kids and instead roaming about the world doing their detective shenanigans together #they are definitely the cool uncles tho #the shadowhunter chronicles #clary fairchild #jace herondale #clace #simon lovelace #isabelle lightwood #sizzy #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #blackstairs #cristina rosales #mark blackthorn #kieran hunter #kieraktina #andi herondale #jasper herondale #samuel herondale #mae herondale #noelle lighwood #george lightwood #lorelei lightwood #eleanor penhallow #edmund penhallow #andres rosales #junie rosales #benji blackthorn

[autisticasgore]

sorry but i will be FOREVER confused and annoyed at the way steven universe future was received as a show for its realistic portrayal of mental illness. i already loved steven as a character, and i saw so much of myself in steven, and it pissed me off so much when i saw armchair therapist-type people online calling it "unrealistic", that steven "never showed signs of trauma" (hello??? did we even watch the same show??) and that he was "acting out of character", and that the ending was cringey or unrealistic or bullshit or something

these are such insane criticisms to me because i felt so seen by su:f's portrayal of ptsd, and i've never felt the same way with other shows that portrayed ptsd. ptsd is different for everyone, obviously, but when you go through childhood trauma, sometimes you tend to look at your childhood through rose-colored glasses (literally, in steven's case), and when you gradually grow older and mature, you start realising that no, it wasn't all that rosy actually. even so, steven still displayed symptoms of ptsd even before steven universe future. what his character growth was throughout steven universe was also a child being forced to grow up quickly, to mature so he could handle traumatized space war veterans' emotions and forcing the diamonds to fix the mess they had caused, all at the age of around 12 to 14. all the while blaming himself. literally a line he says in season 2 is that he's used to dealing with life or death situations.

mental illness isn't fucking pretty. steven universe future isn't afraid to tackle the ugliness of it, and i think that's why people took such issue with it. im tired of ppl romanticizing mental illness. sometimes it DOES make you an asshole. eventually, when you spend so long being the nice, happy-go-lucky kid steven was, burying your emotions and pain for the sake of others, you begin to crack. and that's why i felt so seen in steven. because when i was dealing with my own ptsd, i was also a fucking asshole. i wasn't myself. i was angry at everyone and everything, including myself. i didn't want to deal with facing my own pain. i couldn't even watch some of the episodes because they hit too close to home, even for me.

but the biggest reason i love su:f so much is for its ending. i dont care if there wasn't some big corruption battle with steven's kaiju form, because to me, if they had fought him like they did with the diamonds and the corrupted gems, it would have reinforced his belief that he was a monster. he saw himself on the same level of the diamonds once he had shattered jasper (made only worse when she acknowledged him as 'her diamond'. ouch.) that group hug where they helped him to calm down, when steven broke down, got me, ok.

#pixie.txt #steven universe future #steven universe #i'm still in the midst of rewatching SU and i just- girl. ok. some of you really need to rewatch it tbh #the way the episodes were released played some part in people's frustration i think #but that was bc of production issues. CN screwed them over so many times i'd be surprised if they returned to them #anyway. steven universe. i love him. i want to be his friend #holds him gently in my hands

[polyhexian]

Imagining jasper waking up having just cut off his own arm, tumbled into another dimension, and spent a week in a fever coma, waking up to this nice lady who had six traumatized kids show up on her doorstep and immediately made it her responsibility to protect them and keep them safe and take care of them. Including his extremely traumatized son. Wow yeah he very much be like Heart Eyes Emoji

But also just... Jasper waking up in the human realm. He's missing an arm. His recent illness has left him weak and exhausted. And there are six extremely curious children here now. Genre savvy Luz who has totally figured it out. She's told hunter but he can't believe it. No way. That's impossible.

But like... actual confrontation... the kids are all pressing him for details when Hunter walks in and everyone gets all quiet... and then we get the bit where he's just like... "Who ARE you?" And jasper says "someone who loves you." And it just clicks! Holy shit. Luz was right

And hunter is just like. Holy shit. You're my dad. And jasper sits up like absolutely not having expected him to even consider that and he just like. Stumbles weakly to his feet and he's like. "I... didn't raise you. I don't deserve that title." But Hunter is reeling in this revelation. "But you've been there since the start! That's why you always made sure no one but you fought me! Why you saved me those times! Why you wanted me to leave! Why you always asked shit like my favourite colour!"

And poor broken hearted jasper is just like... yeah. That's why.

And of course hunter is so overwhelmed he isn't going to be like omg I love you dad and cry it out! He has no idea WHAT to think! He starts breathing really fast and then just bolts into the basement and slams the door behind him and now Jasper and the kids are all standing there in total silence and jasper just... feels his heart breaking in his chest. Luz probably tries to cheer him up! It's Luz! That's her shtick! But like... How do you handle that? Jasper just. Sits down. Stares into the middle distance. Rolls over. Goes back to sleep

And so Hunter shows back up at like three am to wake him like. Why did you leave me. Why didn't you just take me away. Why did you let all that stuff happen to me. Why didn't you TELL me. Why did you let me think I was alone? And the overwhelming grief and heartbreak of being asked such questions! But broken, beaten, defeated jasper can finally say for the first time truly just. "I love you." To hunter who has never heard anyone say that to him before in his life...

[showtoonzfan]

I hate what happened to Loona and Blitzo's relationship because it went from Loona being a cold daughter, easily embarrassed by her father's affection, to her being an abuser who verbally and physically assaults Blitzo if he even breathes around her. It was painfully uncomfortable to watch Loona abuse Blitzo despite him doing nothing to warrant it, considering he's nice to her and showers her in love.  However, since Loona is traumatized, her abusive behavior is excused, and Blitzo is supposed to endure her mistreatment because she's his daughter. We’re supposed to like Loona but hate Stella despite both being awful abusive people. It's okay for Loona to be abusive because she's a "traumatized victim" who "doesn't know how to express her love" for Blitzo without abusing him, while Stella is just a spoiled, cruel bitch, who enjoys tormenting Stolas. It's incredible how abuse is acceptable in one situation yet considered wrong in another when it should be bad in both, regardless of the reason.

I agree, especially on Loona. It makes me gag to say it but, Loona actually had potential at first despite mainly being furry eye candy. According to Viv Hellhounds are under the imps, making them the lowest class, and having Blitz (another low class demon) adopt her and take her in from a horrible place where her kind is treated as nothing but labor could have been an intriguing story. The two could have connected, and Blitz could have earned her trust and have like a “it’s you and me against the world”- dynamic, the only problem is that not only did Loona apparently need to be an unlikable angsty teen trope who was just moody and on her phone 24/7, but she had to hate Blitz and treat him like shit. The thing that pisses me off is that the show never explains why Loona disliked Blitz in the first place. It makes no sense, and despite her perspective of being in a toxic environment for 17 years, Blitz was the one to literally take her OUT of said toxic environment and shower her with love. I’m not saying Loona needs to bow down to Blitz and idolize him for just adopting her, but I AM asking for it to actually make sense on why she treats him the way she does because I legit see no reason why aside from “she’s supposed to be an angsty teen!”- since that’s all Loona is good for according to Viv. The recent episode however just threw her potential out the window cause now she’s physically abusive to him? And it’s not funny, she’s not a teenager, (though I don’t blame people for assuming that since Viv can’t write her as the full grown adult she is) she’s this grown up woman beating up on her adoptive father for no damn reason. And I’m sick of fans saying “B-BUT SHE HAS TRUAMA, SHE GREW UP IN A TOXIC PLACE FOR YEARS!”- because it’s becoming fucking Steven Universe all over again. Just because Lapis went through trauma and was stuck in a mirror for years, doesn’t excuse her to put someone else (Jasper) through the same trauma SHE went through, and treat someone who actually put the effort in to change like utter shit. (Peridot). Just because you decide to share that a character like Loona has trauma at the last minute, doesn’t mean she gets off Scott free for treating the person who’s been nothing but nice to her like crap. Just because you went through trauma and trauma itself CAN turn people sour, doesn’t mean that makes it okay.

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critique #helluva critical #helluva criticism #vivziepop rant #reply #ask #Loona helluva boss critical

[therealvinelle]

Are there any characters in Twilight (or Harry Potter) you'd love to write more of but they just don't fit in your fics ?

I think Billy Black, Didyme, and maybe Jasper.

Billy

He's just such a bittersweet character to me, he tries to do the right thing at every turn during the series and he never prevails, barely even catches any breaks. From his best friend's daughter falling in with vampires, to Jacob getting involved with her and subsequently heartbroken, to whatever he thought of the Embry question (we have two options: either Billy didn't father him but he has to live with the fact that people will always wonder, or Billy did father him and he finds this out in the worst way possible (For the record, I'm inclined against Billy being father - he's the very honorable sort, I don't think he'd keep mum unless he knew it was old Uley)), to one of his two best friends dying in a way that traumatizes both his children, to Jacob imprinting on a half-vampire demon baby and becoming her slave:

Billy can't catch a break.

So I like the character, feel terrible for him and I don't see a lot of good Billy fic, but I haven't been able to put him in anything. This, admittedly, is partly because putting him in my fic would mean making his life worse, so he's really better off without.

Didyme

Her absence is so keenly felt in mine and @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin's fics that she's kind of a character already, she's just never had any screentime. How do you include a character who's dead millennia before canon even starts?

There have been ideas, ranging from oneshots set in the early Volturi aughts to time travel fics to "And then Didyme finally escaped the bear dimension", but nothing has come of it.

She remains a great character who exists entirely off screen.

Jasper and Rosalie

I don't know, I just feel Jasper slips off stage in every fic, he's a keenly felt personality and one I enjoy writing but with the exception of The Less Than Immaculate Conception and arguably For the Love of a Woman he just says "peace out" every time.

Rosalie I love so much, but I can't write her so I just sit and cry and once had to scrap an entire Rosalie POV chapter because it simply wasn't working.

#my fic #writing #twilight #twilight renaissance #billy black #twilight meta #tagging as that because of the billy bit

[lip-gallaghers-cigarette]

I am about to infodump about why steven universe has BPD (and cptsd but thats canon)

later in the series and in SU future is when all the trauma has already happened and hes finally safe is when it manifests itself heavier. hes very people pleasing, putting other peoples needs ahead of himself, even if the other person is in the wrong, his emotions spiral so out of control that he becomes corrupted or goes "pink mode", he has identity issues (bc of constantly being told hes his mother) to the point where he cant tell if he is her, if he is himself, if hes a he, if hes a she, if hes a gem or if hes a human, good or evil, etc.

has bursts of intense anger and feelings of guilt, would go to any length to keep people in his life (connie for example) and when she rejected his proposal his symptoms spiraled out of control, which is typically what happens w bpd, its triggered, his symptoms started presenting when he hit 16 / SU future. as for the ptsd though thats actually canon, there is an episode where he visits the doctor and she doesnt directly call it ptsd but shes asking him about his trauma and how far back it stems from (and he begins recalling traumatic events starting all the way from the beginning of the series to the middle of the series before connies mom interrupts him and tells him that he p much has c-ptsd) and steven starts having intense flashbacks and then falls into an episode when he is reminded of connie rejecting his proposal, his body starts physically reacting to it as if its happening again. (which by the way the proposal was very impulsive and spontaneous and mainly based in fear of abandonment, and solidified when garnet agreed. very bpd like.)

he views small issues as life threatening, which is seen in ptsd and bpd. hes been in a constant state of trauma since childhood, never knew his mom and constantly i n peril fighting monsters he doesnt even know the origin of protecting himself from a battle his mother forced him into, bpd and ptsd are inherently traumagenic. he changes himself and overextends himself to fit other people's perception of what he should be or to fit his own idea of perfection, hes terrified of being alone and will go to any lengths to keep his loved ones around him.

when people offer him support he pushes it away because he doesnt want to burden his loved ones with his problems or intense emotions or trauma. in fact, he bottles it up SO much that he falls into an episode where he starts fixing other peoples problems to distract himself from his own, as if fixing other people will in turn fix himself, which only makes it worse and worse until he explodes. he talks about how hes worthless, how hes a bad person, how he doesnt deserve his loved ones, and then becomes corrupted when the trauma become too much for him gem to handle anymore. (Him splitting on himself after bottling his feelings up for so long)

this was only soothed when his loved ones reminded him how much he was loved and cared for. he lacked a voice his whole life and once jasper taught him to fight and defend himself and he became all big and strong his personality changed completely and he ended up becoming aggressive in the same way jasper was and literally purposely and v violently shattered her because of it (which is obviously very out of character for steven who has healing powers)

he also takes control of and attempts to shatter white diamond when he has trauma flashbacks to her almost killing him despite working through those issues previous

he has a "the grass is greener on the other side" mindset

He has bouts of uncontrollable rage because he has no form of grasp of his emotions due to alienating them.

He creates narratives sticks to them then he is unable to change these thought processes.

after shattering jasper he has an intense panic attack, thinking he is a violent killer or bad person, his guilt spirals and he makes a very desperate and emotional attempt at bringing her back.

he also takes control of and attempts to shatter white diamond when he has trauma flashbacks to her almost killing him despite working through those issues previous.

he has a "the grass is greener on the other side" mindset

He has bouts of uncontrollable rage because he has no form of grasp of his emotions due to alienating them.

He creates narratives sticks to them then he is unable to change these thought processes.

He creates a happily ever after in his mind and then when the outcome isn't perfect or what he imagined he freaks out.

he has frequent flashbacks to issues from his past and tends to block the thoughts out when they show up or dissociate himself from them, or, alternatively, he hyper-fixates on them so much that it takes over every aspect of his waking life. he also thinks in black and white a lot, with things being either all good or all bad, and becomes paranoid about other peoples intentions or the way they perceive him. he also is CONSTANTLY on edge expecting bad things to happen and prepares himself for danger that might not even come.

Also throwback to the time where he crashed the car and split on his dad when he realized his dad got the childhood he always wanted and that he was neglected, he quickly went from idealizing his dad to feeling spiteful toward him and putting their own lives in danger.

also the time when he realized all of his friends were moving on without him and subconsciously trapped them in a giant bubble that he had no control over

oh and the NIGHTMARES!!!

- sincerely, a Steven kinnie with BPD and C-PTSD. (Cross-Posted)

#steven #steven quartz universe #steven universe #steven universe future #su #suf #bpd #borderline #borderline personality disorder #cptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder #complex ptsd #headcanon #headcanons #theory #cross posted

[practically-an-x-man]

OC ask time once again :3. I honestly have no idea if you've answered something like this before already.

Your characters are given the ability to time travel once as a one way trip to whenever/wherever they'd like. Who uses it immediately without hesitation? Who never uses it? What do they do once they're in their new time?

Oooh man, a one-way trip? That's got the potential to get a little dark... interesting

Thank you for the ask!! This one's really interesting!

Rae: Decides she's going to save it for when things go really wrong, and never actually ends up using it. She doesn't want to change what already happened, even the traumatic stuff, since she doesn't want to change where they ended up

Robin: Goes back and avoids her TBI - keeps herself and Six out of the room with the feral Beast clone, blocks up the door, and continues on. She recovered from it, but it took time and she'd really rather not have to go through it at all.

Madison: I feel like she'd actually weigh the merits of a bunch of different times, just for the hell of it, but would end up balking at the fact that it's a one-way trip and wouldn't end up using it at all. It does become a running boredom buster, where she'll daydream about going to another time and how good or bad it would be to live there. (like my irl boredom buster of debating the merits of whatever building i'm in as a bunker in the zombie apocalypse. i maintain that movie theaters would be the best)

Ophelia: Stops her father from running his experiment with the tritium reactor, which effectively spares both her parents. It means she has to go through all of college and her doctorate program again, but it's worth it to have her parents alive with her again.

Katherine: Hm... realistically, she wouldn't use it at all since she's happy with the life she has, but just for fun I'm imagining her going back to Ahk's reign in Ancient Egypt and meeting him there, stopping his murder, and eventually resulting in the two of them being remembered in history as benevolent rulers. Their tomb is eventually discovered and, in a cyclical and slightly paradoxical way, both become exhibits in the museum.

Kestrel: Saves it for some split-second moment - if they, Warren, or someone else they care about ever ends up being badly injured or killed in a way that can't otherwise be fixed, that's their get-out-of-jail free card.

Quinn: Goes back to stop what happened in Kyiv - stops herself and Billy from falling, herself from being injured, and warns him of everything Lex was planning with the Kalahari. It's not quite as emotionally rich of a story for her, but it saves them a lot of pain and trauma

Jasper: Goes back to just before that fateful frat party and begs Kyle not to go - he's incredibly confused by all the intensity, but trusts them enough to listen. They have a quiet night in instead, studying and playing Minecraft on their survival server, and the bus crash is on the news the next day. Crisis very much averted.

Eris: Saves it, but with the full intent to use it in the future. His plan is to save it until Rick passes away (hopefully of old age), then to go back to just before they met him and do it all again. It still doesn't compare to their immortal lifespan, but it at least would stretch the time she gets with him. (but eh I'm a metahuman Rick Flag truther anyway so Eris probably never has to actually use it)

Nikoletta: Just about the only one who would just jump to some other historical period and start a new life - she'd go somewhere (and somewhen) where she could use her modern knowledge and shadow abilities to be seen as some kind of witch queen or oracle, lives in wealth and power for as long as she can... and probably dies of some illness that's eradicated in the present.

#i know most of these are just them going back to fix their worst traumas but like. #one-way trip means they're probably not committing to some historical life if they don't have an escape #my friends!!! #answered asks #my ocs #rae mckinney #robin cassidy #madison douglas #ophelia octavius #jasper wilson #oc katherine johnson #oc kestrel #oc quinn/aces #oc eris #nikoletta bordeaux

[facelessvoicez]

JASPER LORE WOOOOOOOO

Wanted to post this to show the people who were curious of Jasper's background.

NOTE: There are a lot of details left out on this, considering it's just a written idea of Jasper's Lore lol

It is not written well I KNOW LOL It's literally just a bunch of notes that i tried to cluster together and organize to make sense, lol

Dad was a druggie, mom moved onto another piece of shit dude, being his step dad named Brenden. His Stepfather was very abusive, to more specifically Jasper. Brenden and japser's mother had two kids together, though Brenden never layed a finger on them throughout the years, but for some reason always picked on Jasper. Jasper was an Autistic and vulnerable child, making him an easy target for Brenden. Jasper not being exactly 'normal' made it easy to get upset with jasper, Brended taking any 'irregular' behavior as an opportunity to get mean and/or violent. All it took was jasper to breathe off pattern to trigger that Brenden.

They boy struggled in school as well. Didn't exactly fit in with the other kids (cliche ik lmao) he got picked on a lot, kids could be bruital, often stalking him and pushing him around shouting insults. A common insult being the word 'retard' or 'retarded'. He didn't exactly have friends in this point, he liked keeping to himself anyways, and The bullying wasn't too bad considering he delt with worse at home.

Unfortunately his vulnerability and decaying mental state, he grasps the attention of the slenderman. He'd see him here and there but it wasnt often. Though he was often watching, causing him to always get these horrible headaches.

Time goes by he appears more and more, fucking with him more and more.

Over the years he made three friends. Tomii, Vicc, and Iris. He'd never felt so comfortable and safe with people EVER. He finally wasn't alone, he finally had a safe space. Tomii and Vic were both struggling in their own ways too, so it was nice to have people to relate to. Not only this but he eventually gained a special relationship with Iris, them eventually becoming a couple.

The abuse at home and school continues, the consistent traumatic events eventually pile up causing him to lose his shit, developing long lasting psychosis, the psychotic episodes, voices demanding him/convincing him to do things while being fuled by the years of pent up anger. This and The help of Mr No Face picking at him, all lead to that one breakdown causing him to murder his step father. Soon after, his mother came home from work, being just now exposed to the situation, she freaks out understandibly. Out of fear Jasper killed his mother too. Leaving his siblings alone in the small apartment.

soon after he runs away from the situation to his partners house. He's mid through a psychotic episode, the stressful situation only strengthened the episode more. Jasper was completely delusional and panicked at this time, convincing himself that everything and everyone was out to get him. All it took was that small look of panic in his partners face to convince Jasper that his partner was after him too. That look of panic wasn't meant to be threating but understandibly worried for his dear boyfriend, though Jasper wasn't aware of this, in his head he was convinced that his partner was now a threat. That look of panic was one way too close to the one his step father gave after getting uspet with Jasper, that look he'd make before beating him. Due to the help of whispers growling about how his partner was somehow a threat, This is what lead to him to kill his partner. This was an action he regretted the most later on.

Jasper again, runs off, having no idea where to go, he finds himself an isolated area after hours of traveling. The area being an old abandoned home in the middle of nowhere. He settled there for a while until being unwillingly taken away by 'The Harvester proxy' bringing him to Mr.No-Face's land, Wiping a majority of Jasper's memory and creating him as another one of his proxies, being forced to live in a cycle of killing.

Note: i included Tomii and Vic bc they will have their own stories eventually that involved Slenderman and Jasper lol.

If i do an actual well written story about this, they will be included a LOT more.

@Gaspproxy on isnta: Creator of The Harvester proxy

#creepypasta #original character #creepy #horror #horror art #jasper gut #slenderverse #horror story #slenderman #slender proxy #slenderman proxy #creepypasta story

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

How would the Cullen’s personalities change if they had each other’s experiences / path to turning? Rosalie losing a baby like esme did, Alice getting mauled by a bear, emmett dying of an illness etc. would edward be less… edward if he woke up the way Alice did with no human memories? Would Esme be attached to the planet if she’d been turned for a vampire war?

...

That's a lot of combinations, anon.

I'll just go with the ones you throw out there.

Rosalie Loses Her Baby

... Nope, I'm not sure I can do this one.

All signs point to this baby being Royce's, and we all know how things with Royce went.

I imagine this Rosalie would be even more traumatized than the current Rosalie is and acknowledges that her human life was a hell hole of misery for which she'd had such expectations and none of them panned out.

Alice Gets Mauled by a Bear

Alice would be a fundamentally different person.

She wouldn't have her memory loss, her father wouldn't have put her in an asylum and probably didn't murder her mother, she just gets an unhappy accident.

It's hard to even know this Alice, Mary Alice Brandon, because she will be a completely different person. Yes, she still has her gift, but she's not the blank slate that Alice from canon is where she has nothing but the Cullens.

Mary Alice had a sister, she had her own life, I just can't see her clinging to Edward shouting "brother!" The way Alice did. We're looking at an entirely different person.

Emmett Dies of Illness

I imagine he'd be very similar save that he's not as strong as he would otherwise be, having wasted away before being turned. That irks him a bit but he still wrestles Jasper and is still a very laid back guy.

Edward Has No Memories

Given his gift, Edward never finds the Cullens the way Alice does. He wanders alone having no idea who or what he is and concludes he's a demon. However, seeing nothing else for it, he embraces his man devouring monster but without memories doesn't know how to select 'good' humans from 'bad' humans.

He picks the ones who smell good and whose thoughts annoy him (which is pretty much all of us).

I imagine he also concludes he's the Ubermensch.

Esme is Turned in a Vampire War

That poor woman.

I mean, she'd live a wretched life and would likely be murdered by Maria should she fail to perform (as almost all Maria's turned vampirs were save Jasper and Peter).

I wouldn't say she's unattached to the planet, but she's in a wretched hellscape that builds on the delightful life she was living with her abusive husband.

I imagine, should Esme survive and get out, you get a very jittery, nervous, and jaded woman who probably does not join up with the Cullens because she can't trust anybody.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #the cullens #alice cullen #edward cullen #emmett cullen #esme cullen #rosalie hale #meta #headcanon #opinion

[thedawningofthehour]

5?

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Like. So many? I had a bunch of ideas in the Fallout fandom that I never started, or wrote like three pages and gave up on. (which was for the best RPGs don't lend itself well to long-form fics, but still) There's all my different spins on separated AUs for TMNT, alts for doth and whatnot. And then there was the Rise/2012 crossover idea I was playing with before I started on doth-some of which did get incorporated into doth in the end, so elements of it are there.

Oh, before I started watching Rise I was playing around with a Steven Universe fanfic. I actually wrote some of it out but I never really intended to publish it. The basis was a human AU where Garnet had been a detective investigating the Diamond crime empire and had returned home to her moms in Beach City after a traumatic encounter with Blue Diamond that caused her to be retired. Pearl proposes a marriage of convenience so they could adopt Amethyst and Steven no fuss. Greg was in jail (Marty was doing fraud or something and it was all his fault) and his parents were seeking custody of Steven-Rose had died giving birth, and while he always considered Garnet and Pearl his coparents he never married either of them and they weren't Steven's legal mothers. Amethyst was Pearl's half-sister through their mother Opal, and was trying to legally adopt her since her other half-sister Jasper was trying to get custody of her. (the Famethyst all had the same dad who showed up to Beach City one day, fathered a bazillion daughters, and partied until he quite literally dropped dead) There was a whole thing with Garnet beating up Jasper in high school and Jasper being in love with her from that day on.

Eventually there would be the whole reveal with Rose having been Pink Diamond, the youngest daughter in the Diamond syndicate, and it would be uncovered that Greg being framed was orchestrated by White Diamond in an attempt to swoop in and legally gain custody of her grandson in a swift and sure manner-she could just have Steven kidnapped and produce fake documents for him, quite easily, but in a rare caring moment she actually wanted to make this as untraumatic as possible for Steven. (besides, she could play the savior later on by 'pulling some strings' and getting Greg out of prison) Eventually Yellow Diamond would have gotten impatient, kidnapped Steven, and forcefully recruited Garnet to her own empire, having been extremely impressed with her during her conflict with Blue.

And I have no idea how it ends, because then I started watching Rise and lost the SU hyperfixation. :D

#me: oh i had this little idea-spits out wall of text #ask game