#and its so funny because when i tell people that they either dont react at all and are like yea that movie was funny or are terrified | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

janmisali · 1 year

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been a while since I've done this but check out this comment. what are they talking about (transcription under the cut)

/hj is simple. It just means when you see it, youre supposed to go, "ha". Not "ha, ha, ha" like fully laughing, or " " like its not funny, just "ha". Thats all it means. /j means you go "ha, ha, ha" and /s means dont get irritated because they are not serious. You dont have to laugh but you dont have to cry either. No tone indicator is created for you to go back to the text to figure out what the tone indicator means, because most people will never do that, hence the meaning is created by the response and not whats inside the text. Thats natural language for you. Created by people doing illogocal stuff, not logic. Technically it is logical though. Its just not using the logic you would assume it to. You cant just assume that. You have to take everything that can affect the creation of language into account.

The tone indicator is useful when you want some1 to react by something. There are these awkward moments when you in a group (irl) tell a joke and every1 half laughs, but one guy goes fully laughing and its weird. This tone indicator is so that every1 knows to half laugh so that people can know that online as well. Communicating just isnt created like a certain word in a certain place or some word combination always should create a defined response. Tone indicators just try to control that response, which is why they exist. Its not complicated.

And yes its too stupid imo, ive given up on real language a long time ago, created languages are much more interesting to me at least.

Let me just go off the track completely and also super personal and define autism, because why not. Ive tried to do this before but i feel like now ive found the tools to do it better. Autistic people are people who are sensitive to information. Any kind of information, any kind of sensitive. Any kind of sensitive includes being non-sensitive and sensitivity fluctuations. Any kind of information can be sound, visual information like light or subjective information like text and it includes information fluctions. That is why autistic people can be very smart. That is also why they can be very dumb. Or both at the same time.

For example, here you show extreme intelligence for making an 18-minute video about language that doesnt make sense by logic, which it doesnt, which is a pretty important realization, but you also show a little of assuming your logic is the best which it isnt. Your logic is unaware of how the logic that goes into creating that language we all speak. It is the average human that creates language, because natural language is the most accessible to the average human. And so you have to think how does/would the average human react. The average human will laugh when they see /hj. They need no reasoning, thus reasoning is not needed in the language. I could literally say a comment of "hi. /hj" and for the average 100 iq person, that is a good joke or not, and it needs no reason to be or not be. Thats why comedy is so hard because for the average person it needs no reason to be funny, hence it either is or isnt. The best laughs are the laughs that have no reason, because thats when your instincts take over and make you feel good about yourself.

We obviously know autism with lights and sound is pretty much chronic. But i wonder, how chronic are they with logic. Because you can certainly be less sensitive to certain kinds of logic and more sensitive towards other kinds, it just isnt generally included in autism since its pretty common in neurotypical people too. I would go as far and say that autism was created from people doing irrational things with logic, and surviving better because they bamboozeled the people that used logic, thus the genes caught on and were like, "bro, were currently just taking in information, and treating it like its random, and we survive better, how about we cut the middleman and just interpret the information randomly straight away since it seems to work so well". I could be wrong but if its true that there were no autistic people before or there arent autistic animals in any other group of animals, that could be the reason why - our ability to think better caused us to also be able to get confused by randomness, thus people acting randomly can cause people to get confused and thus have the randomly acting people survive better and thus evolution of genes can catch on to the way of acting and make it genetical.

#jan misali #youtube comments #autism

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anymethynker · 7 months

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Yeah, okay, so... I have a fic idea that I'm never gonna ever write probably-maybe. So imma just share it will people on here. And if you like it, write about it, but tell me so I can read it please. :] (Theres a TLDR at the bottom if you don't want to read my rant. I'm sorry if I'm confusing. :[)

So to start, this is post mk1 and everyone is settling after everything is done. People are living their lives and they doing their own things. The thing is its centered around Johnny, for a specific reason. I want to see an outsider's perspective. Like his fans, his co-workers, and people he knows personally.

Now the twist, they see him hanging out with everyone else from the game.

You must be thinking, how is this the twist? How is this an interesting concept? Well, I feel like Johnny loves to be online, and that comes with sharing his life online. So imagine one day, a popular actor who's hasn't really been active online at all and hasn't been seen in real life(during the game he's recording shit but he doesn't have time to do it all the time), just randomly comes back into the frame. His fans are wondering where he was, but happy he's back. Co-workers wondering where the fuck he's been(they either hate him or are neutral about him). And people that know him, well, I feel like they hate him besides from a few(ex-wife just wanting his money).

The thing is, Johnny really doesn't specify any of the questions asked of him, just post a few videos with some people that aren't really important(the people part anyway because Johnny knows a lot). But we know that they people are important, and everyone learns this too, as Johnny ever really hangs out and post about them with him. Now everyone is confused because these are people no one know. They aren't famous, so why is Johnny with them. Fans think they're his team or something like that, and co-workers and people that know him just think they're assholes like him.

Then Johnny starts posting videos AND people meet then in real life. Johnny ever just posted pictures and small videos that doesn't really focus on the people. But now with Johnny having more free time and no longer acting that much(to everyone's surprise), he starts to hang out and post more funny videos with his friends.

People see Raiden(super nice guy that is kind to everyone), Kung Lao(silly goofy guy that knows how to have a good time), Kenshi(seems to be the best "friend" of Johnny(note that yes, I am applying shipping but it doesn't have to be)), Syzoth(curious guy who's sarcastic as hell), Tomas(the cinnamon roll of the group), Liu Kang(he be the father figure honestly), etc.

Now, the fans love it. People are feeding off of these interactions and want to see more if then. People who know Johnny are more iffy, how does he know these people? Are they this kind or are they just assholes pretending for views of popularity? They find out because of Johnny filming movies. Not everyone is there, the most recurring people are Kung Lao and Smoke.

There are specific reactions that would be amazing, like his ex-wife(cough reacting to his new boyfriend cough), his older brother(reacting to his new brothers and father), and some fellow stars(seeing how his friends can tolerate and even enjoy Johnny's company). His fans, when met at Cage Con or just stumbled upon, would be really excited, but it would really be awesome to see how they react(I can't think of anything besides shipping Johnny with Kenshi, saying Johnny is Tomas's and Syzoth's older brother, and Liu Kang being his honorary father. If you can think of anything else, jump on in).

Okay that's all I got in my brain this late at night, it early morning doesnt matter. Now this is just personal preference, you don't have to listen to this, just things I wouldn't really read or write. Not really an x reader type fic, I don't think you can fit that in here(jump on in if you can), and mostly found family fic(like now SubSmoke or ScorpionSmoke(I dont know the ship name ;-;) for some examples. If you do writing it with is, cool, you do you, not my type if fic bc of me seeing then as brothers).

Okay, I'm done. I'll probably make some small fics or just jot down the more specific ideas in me head later. If you do want to write this, go ahead!!! Just tell me when you do and send the link so I can fuel my brain. And if you want to take some ideas I have, do so as well. I doubt I'm the only person with these thoughts so I can share. Anyway, good night!!!!! :DDD

TLDR: Outside view from Johnny's fans, co-workers and people he personally knows reacting to him hanging out the people from the game.

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youremyheaven · 8 days

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As a nodal, I want to agree and disagree about "draining" yang people. They do come to us first usually, they see that we don't show interest even when we like them (at least ketu ruled moons) and they simply stop giving a fuck. I think its possible that in some cases we drain them, but I also feel like they are expecting us to show a lot of interest and as someone else said, nodals are used to be gatekeepers (moon people too) of stuff, including feelings. We dont have light to give anyway. I find that we can drain solars as much as they can overwhelm nodals. I always hear nodals complaining about solar people overwhelming them with their energy. So at one point i feel like it's mutual, they may feel like nodals drain them but we feel like they are too much? Idk if that makes sense to other nodals reading this. I know a few solars who I really love and all but I try to stay away because I know if I get into a convo with them they will either start asking a bunch of questions or they will start talking about themselves to the point I will be exhausted. Especially uttara ashadhas, I find all of them to be too intense for me, although i had and still have great friendships with them. when Krittikas are angry for example, I just stand there and dont have any idea of what to do. I find it so hard to give a fuck about things so I dont understand why they're angry and they end up making me tired when they keep talking about the same frustrations over and over.

i feel like they both get tired of eachother, or at least, it could be any of the parts feeling drained, not just yang.

For rahu, I feel like rahuvians are really hard to control, they are chaotic af. they crave yang energy but I dont think they can stand yangs giving them the structure they crave. at the end they will try to destroy it over and over, until the yang person is drained and just gives up.

I want to agree about us being delusional, but I also want to say that Sun and Jupiter people feed our delusions as well. It's not about blaming them for our things. I really dont want to sound like that nodal who isnt self aware. 😭 I enjoy reading shit about us because its funny and it helps. but if we are being real 😭 Sun and Jupiter people validate nodal's delusions. I think I already talked too much so to make it as brief as possible I will give you a personal example. My friend is a punarvasu sun and moon, my other friend UA rising. Sometimes I tell them my delusional stories and they just find a way to literally amplify it or make it worse...... Like if I say "my crush broke up with his gf, i have a chance" they will tell me sometbing like "oh, it's because she is in love with you, she broke up because now she wants you" i told them just yesterday "i know im delusional but dont you guys think thats a lot and also kinda dangerous to tell me" damn

SJSJJSJJSJS lmao

Nodals or Ketuvians being overwhelmed by yang energy is interesting, I've definitely felt like I was "too much" for some of these people

The not being able to care part took me out lol 😭😂my ex friend who had Mula Moon was like that, I'd have a breakdown in front of her and she'd just be like 🧍‍♀️like girlie had no idea what to say or how to react and literally did not give a fck 😂😂

I think these energies are mismatched and it's interesting to hear about it from the perspective of a Nodal

That's one example of them feeding your delusions but I meant being delusional/lacking self awareness in a different way? like many of the Nodals ik have no idea how they are perceived (maybe this is a consequence of them being a shadow planet and literally being in the dark) they will do batshit crazy stuff and blame others for it, act completely unhinged and think they're just being funny or charming or adventurous. It's like my alcoholic broke deadbeat loser senior who acted like he was a catch and that I wanted him. I meant being delusional in a completely different way and cited examples as well of more extreme behaviour? And you really cannot blame anybody else for that lol, those people weren't acting that way bc anybody fed their delusions, they simply were a little bit unhinged

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iwanttofuckereh69 · 8 months

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now reading 2ha vol 2

ch 55 - 71

… but the careless thought would fly through his mind and soon be lost, like the drizzle of rain falling into a deep pond.

Mo Ran’s entire existence put into words perfectly

1. now im sad 😭

Ahhh the way Shi Mei’s death is described is gut wrenching. I was so sad reading that. But yeah, at least there are more details to what happened. It seems like Chu Wanning couldn’t do anything to save him that day. Or rather, he had to choose. I feel like if he tried saving Shi Mei, he wouldn’t hold the barrier. So he chose, faithful to his principles. It ties to Chu Xun’s sacrifice that seems to be supposed to show how hard of a decision it must have been both on Chu Xun and Chu Wanning. My guess is Mo Ran either didn’t realize at the time that CWN had to choose one over the other or he couldn’t understand why he would sacrifice his disciple to protect all those people he himself doesn’t care about.

But damn that description hurt. Mo Ran’s heart was truly aching. And that comparison to a snowflake, equally beautiful and equally unimportant. Ehh

@thegreymoon if this is "moderate and usual amount of suffering" then i dont know if i want to continue!!!!

(jk, i like when it hurts 🙂)

2. Chu Wanning is even more awkward than i was in high school which should be considered an achievement

Tbh I like moments of Mo Ran’s longing for Chu Wanning. And how he reacts when he sees Chu Wanning finally after all this time CWN spend “in seclusion”. Its lovely, but also hes so dumb for not realizing. This whole whatever was going on between them during New Years Eve celebration was just lovely but also so awkward. Chu Wanning deliberately giving him a copper coin dumpling? Absolutely cute. But also so awkward and just 😬 Instead of finding thousands of weird ways to flirt maybe just tell him? Idk its an outrageous idea, but idk give it a try maybe?? And omg that awkward moment when he wanted to invite mo ran to watch fireworks but… yeah. I felt it in my bones.

3. Breaking news, Mo Ran, despite being 32 yo in 16 yo body mentally somehow ended up being 5

Sometimes it feels to me as if mo ran desired CWN not as a person but as an object. And he is even comparing him to an ugly box that nobody wanted with perfectly fine food inside. An ugly box only he himself dared to open to discover the treasure inside. And he is so childishly jealous when now that box is on display for everyone to look at. Its almost silly. But also yeah, its another time he treats CWN more like a thing he owns. And nobody else should see any worth in that thing, because its only his to consume. There is a fine expression in my native language for a person like that, and funny enough, its also dog related. But I couldn't find any translation that would convey all the nuisance. It’s for a person that won’t let anyone else enjoy a thing even if they themselves have no intention of enjoying that thing either. It reminded me of this quote:

Eventually, like a beast, he had known only one thing: that Chu Wanning was his. Even if he didn’t care for Chu Wanning, he was still his to sunder and to ruin.

And like… Right now, Mo Ran seems to me like an annoying jealous kid that wants CWN for himself out of pure spite. Because CWN never gave MR attention he thought he was owed or that he deserved. I want to punch him just a bit.

4. Shi Mei is totally Chu Wanning’s wingman

Like he always tries to show Mo Ran that CWN isnt all that bad XD And I won’t believe he didn’t realize after all those completely awkward confessions and random hand holdings that Mo Ran has feelings for him. Like I won’t believe he wouldn’t see right through him especially on that boat. And I think he is smarter than MR and saw that CWN isn’t indifferent to Mo Ran after all. I want to say he would be happy if they’d get together but BASED ON COMMUNITY’S REACTIONS i feel like i will look like a clown lol. But oh well thats my very biased impression of Shi Mei.

@rosemary-screams

Never back down never what? NEVER GIVE UP!

Also it dawned on me while reading that you’re totally right @02cm, Mo Ran totally is wasting his chances with Shi Mei. I mean it happened before but that boat scene striked me as so annoyingly obvious. Like, he knows Shi Mei dies after he gets back from that “summer camp” in peach blossom springs. Its not gonna be long till that day and he can’t be sure it won’t happen again. And he is waiting around, unable to express his feelings that he was supposed to be so sure of. Is it… perhaps… a live showcase of Mo Ran’s only two brain cells almost connecting? Almost! Not quite there yet, but we’re on the right path.

5. This book makes me feel disdain towards the characters and then feel bad for them in the matter of chapters njnjgviuvnjuigi im not well

I'm so heartbroken with the story of how Mo Ran was punished when he tried to steal the haitang flower for Chu Wanning because he had a crush on him. And CWN never let him speak and explain himself and punished him instead. I mean it’s kinda understandable but it makes me sad knowing that MR had such pure intentions... Also, that bedtime story about ox… Mo Ran sees himself in that boy? Because it seems like he always took the beatings no matter if he deserved it and nobody was kind enough to actually listen? And it seems like it will happen again now that he's being framed for murder.

6. Me when MR gave Xia Sini butterfly hair clip and made his hair:

THIS HAS NO REASON TO BE SO CUTE. Also i'm actually enjoying that smol Chu Wanning arc despite being weirded out at first. It gave CWN opportunity to be more relaxed around MR and the rest. And just like he can enjoy sweets as much as he wants without having to worry about losing his face, he can also just chill a bit because oh boy, my guy needed it so much

7. Someone really dislikes Mo Ran and is actively plotting his demise (which im not even surprised with). It’s either someone he already managed to wrong after reincarnating or someone of those many, many people he offended in his past life that somehow also got reincarnated into the past. What are the odds?!

Also, if Chu Wanning and Chu Xun are related (rather closely given how they look alike) and Chu Xun died and Chu Lan died and it seemed like there wasn’t anyone left out of their bloodline… how. Also what’s the self sacrifice gene because it clearly runs in this family.

#2ha #erha #2ha spoilers #the husky and his white cat shizun #erha he ta de bai mao shizun #now reading: 2ha #once again thank you for reading!

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mitchiegonewild · 2 years

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aot youtuber headcanons part 1

Eren: "jaegerbamb"

Eren games. ik this sounds like such a cop out answer but cmon...that dude would have streamy-worthy rage-quits, the best lives, and the most entertaining streams

he would repost all the edits people make of him

he moves to twitch after a while on youtube

all of his fans swear hes fine but everyone who's not is like "yeah hes like a 6"

he rarely collabs with anyone but when he does its always with either mikasa or armin who beat his ass, or connie just bc he loves connie

he HATES horror games and his subs know it so they always request those games and 9 times out of 10 he ends up crying

Mikasa: "wiccanest"

she does manifestation and spirituality stuff

she helps all her baby witches and is EXTREMELY avid about doing things the right way so her subs dont get hurt

she looks scary in her thumbnails but shes actually the softest person to ever exist in her vids

her cats are almost always featured in her videos. their names are keyboard and snufkin

shes also pinterest famous and uploads the most random yet aesthetic stuff

she did a gym vlog video with annie once and everyone went crazy bonkers bananas

Armin: "MinnieASMR"

an asmrist and i will die on this hill

he gives out studying tips on there too and does "study with me :)" videos

he did a mukbang once and never again because connie was in his comments like "ZAMN DADDY LOOKS GOOD WHILE HE MONCHIN??😍😍😍" & "THAT CRUNCH AT 8:29 IM ABT TO BUST A NUT😩"

does tiktok lives but falls asleep on them

choked on his water one time while the mic was at full vol still and woke up a good 2/3rds of his streamers

does the best energy plucks

Connie: "conman reacts"

a react channel

hes like coryxkenshin, but he only plays games with eren

hes actually really funny though, and he does a lot of streams so he can interact with people, and he also has a podcast that he hosts with sasha and jean

actually threw up on camera when someone asked if he and sasha were dating (that was the day they both came out LMFAO)

he is strong asf in every single try not to laugh challenge but the SECOND he hears "wenomechainsama" or any low quality meme and he loses it

he and mr beast did a video together once and connie blew a coke up in his face. he was not invited back

Annie: "Annie's How To's"

self defense videos and life inspiration

posts maybe once every four months because she forgets that she has a channel

got acrylics PURELY to show people with long nails how to knock a motherfucker out

actually ended up liking them and gets them when shes not filming

sometimes appears in mikasas videos to do yoga with her

has little 8-minute mindfulness videos

Sasha: "sasha.b"

sasha doesn't do food videos bc im tired of always seeing her with food shit, so i say she does a brittany broski type thing where she literally just does the most unhinged and wild shit whenever and its funny as hell

connie is her sarah schauer and jean is her bestie taylor

shes gone on literally so many podcast episodes and just gets drunk while telling literally the most outrageous stories from her childhood

was a born and raised tennessee girlie that moved to chicago

is mikasas roommate and photobombs her videos almost constantly, but just with a little wave

obsesses over medias and just will not stop talking about it for weeks on end and then moves on in a blink

Jean & Marco: "Jean & Marco V.S. The Paranormal"

they are literally buzzfeed unsolved

jean does not believe in ghosts. marco very much does and says his Catholic Prayers at least thrice in each video

jean twerked for annabelle and she threatened to brutally kill both of them

marcos super respectful and is always like "the dress you have in this picture is just lovely" and jeans like "first of all...youuurrreee nothing but a trashy hoe." and then gets surprised when the ghost targets him

marco fell through a haunted bar's roof and started singing "the lord is my shepherd" and jean stopped himself mid rescue to laugh

a rumor got started that marco was actually dead and a ghost and there is now a national funeral day for marco in the "Jean & Marco V.S. The Paranormal" fandom

Hange: "Science Rulez"

an account purely for middle school science teachers

theyre an actual scientist not just a youtuber but on their off days because they love their job so much they'll do tiny little videos

they are VERY passionate about teaching biology in schools

they have pet turtles and ferrets that they heavily feature and call them their "assistants" (moblit has a "hey, im right here!" voice bite that they usually play)

moblit is their begrudging camera and light man because he just wants to be able to go on vacation with them on their time off

hange covers EVERYTHING from astronomy to fucking quantum physics and always gets comments about how they changed students whole grades and they ALWAYS respond and/or like

#youtube #youtube au #alternate universe #aot #attack on titan #attack on titan au #eren jaeger #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #connie springer #annie leonhart #jean kirschstein #marco bodt #jeanmarco #hange zoe #moblit berner

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dramallamas · 4 months

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The (unserious) notes of Beyond Evil, Episode 2!

Previous Episode || Next Episode

bro this body really dragged everyone out there. all our side characters are here.

"there's mud everywhere" my guy youre in a field what do you expect

"could it be a pervert obsessed with feet?" that doesnt narrow down the list that much in this day and age...

Lee Dongsik was sexy in his 20s 30s and 40s not every man can pull that off. Lee Dongsik the man you are

oh and he's here too (Juwon)

Dongsik is also a little shit and i love him for that.

“Do you like me that much?” Houston I’m deceased.

HE DIDNT SAY NO

Man we get flirting in Episode Two damn we get fed well as a community.

“Isnt she your sister, Lee Yuyeon?” LIARRRR

“The recording room isn’t your bedroom.” As in both of theirs? Because I have read the fics 👀

How warm is the recording room is my question. Because if its like my bedroom then shits freezing

I have said this once and will say it again lee Dongsik is a sexy mf

“I got lured?” Juwons face pls he is so confused.

THE SCORE AND SOUNDS GOD PROPS TO THE MUSIC PPL

Juwons disgust is so amusing.

Bro it must suck to be talked about when you are right here.

Part of me is curious as to how Dongsik went from Lee Dohyun Dongsik to Shin Hakyun Dongsik. Like we get hints in flashbacks but not much more.

We act like Juwon had this sudden shift in how he reacts to Dongsik after his Busan trip but it was there the whole time just a lot more subtle.

Juwon looking at dirt is me looking at Jinmuk. Fricken gross.

“Touch it (my phone) again and your fingers will…” shit man

Also unpopular opinion incoming: not the biggest fan of minjeong. Shes tragic and interesting enough but she is also the type of person I would avoid being friends with

We dont give Jeongje enough credit for him standing up to his mother passive aggressively.

THE FIRST RAIN SCENE ITS HERE

All good things happen in the rain in this show and I stand by that.

This one melts my heart (and Juwon’s too)

He just stares at Dongsik smiling… perhaps he cant be all that bad hey Juwon.

HAN KIHWAN GTF OUT OF HERE

Also juwon can I have that jumper pls? At least tell me where u got it (that blue one he wore with the stripes on his arm).

Juwon in casual clothing is smth we dont see enough of especially at the start of the show

Juwon proving he is just as insane as Dongsik in this scene but also just as driven about solving what really happened. Two sides of the same coin.

Also we do not give the camera ppl enough credit either the way they shoot the scenes is incredible and rlly captures both the character and their thoughts/feelings as well as their situation and vibes of the scene.

“I don’t like solving riddles” juwon aint that ur job…?

Tiny hc: jeongje learnt some english words and slips them into his conversations to add fuel to his lie of ‘studying in america’

“There isnt a single cop in the country wjk would prioritise such a case.” Jeongje says to Juwon, who is prioritising such a case.

Juwon nearly losing his cool is so interesting and important to me.

Juwon doesnt fuck with people telling him to stay quiet thats for sure.

Ok so Dongsiks mum sees Dongsiks dad frozen to death and calls him 동식(이?) 아버지 (Dongsiks dad). like imagine u mother calls ur dad "(your name)'s dad!" is this a thing in korea or a script choice?

Tfw you hear the tragic backstory of ur suspect/future bf

part of me thinks dongsiks limp/leg injury might be psychosomatic, at least a little bit.

jihwas contact name for dongsik being 똥식 is so funny. (동 is how its supposed to be 똥, pronounced only slightly differently means shit/poop)

Underrated friendship Jaeyi and Jihoon moment.

God I hate clubs sm (I have been and ended up stressed depressed and just on the verge of tears by the end of it and I was dead sober)

Dongsik is in protective dad mode and he stands for womens rights (and probably womens wrongs) and i love that.

I am aware that this episode 2 notes is mostly just me loving Dongsik.

Everyone beind done with minjeon is also me.

"Dongsik I wasnt cheating on you..." girl youre giving Juwon the wrong ideas. also dongsik would deserve better than you anyway

Juwon rn "this girl is insane... idk what i expected because this is manyang but she rlly is and I am not dealing with it"

Juwon not being a physical touch person and valuing personal space a lot and Dongsik being an exception is everything to me.

also underrated duo moment of Juwon and Jihoon

Honestly Juwon Jaeyi Jihoon friendship trio should be a thing in fics

Actually Dongsik isnt that much shorter than Juwon... huh...

The shot where they are both looking down... I should use that as my laptop wallpaper tbh

Minjeongs death sequence gives me the chills every time.

Them talking about the death body and Jinmuk being in the shade in the background with Jaeyi... means smth but im not smart enough yet.

Dongsiks case wall for Yuyeon in his basement genuinely makes me cry knowing the truth about it

'hey bitch 😏' is the energy we have rn

Bro cannot control his emotions well around Dongsik

“Let me give you a thorough tour of our jurisdiction” is Dongsik code for, ‘follow me I need to show you something’

I remember this scene being the netflix preview (the one where juwon states that he wants to move to manyang) for beyond evil and I remember thinking… what a shit scene to preview to convince ppl to watch the show. However… I think otherwise because…

“Just what about me interests you so much? I don’t think it’s that I’m a cop. Perhaps that I’m a suspect?”

“Let me ask you. Just what about me interests you so much? You obviously seem to be dying to know what I was up to at Foreign Affairs.”

THAT PART IS CONVINCING ASF HELLO

And then… pain.

Juwon hesitating and genuinely looking torn deciding what to do. Does he call it in or… what? Comfort Dongsik? Probably considered how he reacts upon hearing Dongsik start to cry before realising why. His entire face screams “I’m so sorry…”

And Dongsik oh my god. Even though we know he put them there I think this is the first time he properly grieved it, even if only a little.

He probably did it to bust the case back open again so he and the vicitims can get justice.

And fin. See you next ep!

#beyond evil #jwds #괴물 #kdrama #jtbc beyond evil #han juwon #lee dongsik

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hellhoundlair · 11 months

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Happy wincest Wednesday! Regarding stuff like outsider POV, do you think Sam and/or Dean are aware that from the outiside their relationship seems incredibly insane and weird (affectionate). Especially in the early seasons or pre series, having grown up incredibly isolated, basically on top of each other and not having ANY healthy relationship to compare to, how do you think they would react to someone (like a hunter, maybe someone they know, maybe an irrelevant love interest, idk) bringing this up?

and a happy ww to you! i think they know! they know theyre weird and people can tell that about them and theyve decided from a young age that they dont really care what other people think. yet at the same time i feel like they dont truly understand the depths of what makes the look weird from an outsider pov/whats abnormal for siblings because they dont have anything normal to compare themselves to.

itd b pretty well established in the hunter community that sam and dean are a package deal, which you usually only ever see with married couples. if you didnt know john winchester beforehand and you met sam and dean youd probably just assume they were gay together. and you wouldnt be wrong. If another hunter brought this up around either of them theyd correct them and brush it off because haha what a funny misunderstanding anyway sam where did you put our toothbrush i cant find it. (Id think hunters would understand if they knew the way sam and dean were raised, they know that they were trained as soldiers as children and how damaging that mustve been, so they mostly dont judge each other for not fitting in. maybe they feel something more like pity. and definitely discomfort)

with a love interest bringing it up its a little different. if theyre trying to hit on someone and they get hit with the "you sure your boyfriend doesnt mind?" i dont think theyd bother correcting them. And in the context of them having a mutual pining thing i think theyd get a thrill from it. if its a pre relationship thing and they get faced with those sorts of questions i think thatd really help them figure out that they like the idea of belonging to each other.

questions from more serious love interests (the scene with lisa talking about sam coming back comes to mind) would be a lot more confronting though. ppl pointing out that theyre weird and way too close would rub them the wrong way. theyd get closed off and defensive because how the fuck could anyone ever understand what they have. especially when its people trying to tell them that its unhealthy (they know. they dont care) pointing it out or trying to keep them apart only serves to push them further into each other and their alienation from society.

#also early seasons ppl mistaking them for lovers theyd react with “haha how silly!” and later seasons theyd react with “yeah :)”#even if theyre completely gen they dont care man. they know they look married.#thank you for the ask!

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th3okamid3monart · 1 year

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Comfort Comics: My Giant Nerd Boyfriend

If you ever want to get off the stress inducing, horrible news barfing media from either videos or rants on any plataforms that alllows people to get angry about from the most serious to the super dumb reasoning, then this comic might be for you!

This webcomic is about the chronics of a lovely couple, the author named Fishball and aforementioned Nerd Boyfriend. SPOILER: Now Fiancé, Through the many chapters you can see what an actual healthy couple looks like, the strifes they get, their issues and how they work them with each other and a bit of their past lives prior to meeting each other.

The way the drawings and color palette are use for this webcomic can only be summarize as comfy and approachable, since reading it would make you feel like a friend is telling you an anecdote. I know there are issues with the parasocial situations, although I think comics make it a little harder for this parasocial relationships to become into an obsessive mess (just my unexpert opinion on the matter).

Aside from that, the combination between the cartoony style to a more realistic to a VERY exagerated cartoony style can be jarring if you aren’t used to the changes in between, but this aspect benefits tremendously to the punchline of the joke, which is mostly how the characters react to a situation. For example, a bit spoilery, Nerd is very afraid of insects, so his reactions from being scared in as a person might not be as funny, unless he was drawn with a horrid expression, color fading off his face and flipping his entire body as he tries to escape a cockroach. Whenever something of the sorts are explained or shown is always a delight since they show care to each other but also banter and light jokes.

Whenever a hard and serious subject is brought up is always in a very respectful way, very introspective as well. It will make you think about the whole situation that is currently happening since this people are living it or were living it at the moment the strips were updated. It will give you a sense of less loneliness and comfort as this people explained how they’ve been doing, specially through hardships they have experience as of late. It’s always beneficial for everyone to listen to this experiences since it looks like it helps the author as well as the readers. I would lie if I said I didn’t cry a couple of times reading this webcomic, when it hits you IT HITS YOU.

If anything I feel this comic is like a warm cozy hug, maybe a nice coffee break, or a chill day as you lay down and think about nothing as you spend time with people you like or even a pet (because the author has a pet which is also showcased in their own section as ‘Oh Biscuit!’).

Do give this comic a read! In a time where life has become hard and my brain is slowly but surely getting better, this comic is a refresher from the craziness from the world, the internet, and even other comics.

This is a bit of a rant: I’ve grown into a more sensible adult, or maybe just less tolerable to be suffocated. I’ve tried just keeping my feelings to myself from time to time, I put so many expectations to other people that just made me isolate myself due to my own inability of fixing my own issues. I’m kinda in the isolate part a bit since I don’t talk to others about my issues anymore or as much. I find very comforting this kind of comics because it makes me feel like everything is ok at the moment, its a relief, its a break. I always leave this comic at the end because it calms me so much to read it, even the sad chapters. I’ve decided I wanna have an optimistic outlook in life, I wanna continue forward, I wanna experience things. This comic, along other medias have helped me have a more optimistic point of view, not only the idea of things getting better but working hard to get it better. And so far its going! I feel a bit more in control with my own things, I still have a long way to go though. I also kinda learnt a thing about me and I dont know how to really cope? Because It’s not like I have complete confirmation but it makes me believe that it explains a couple of things. In general, I just wanted to talk about this because I love this comic, I love it so much. It feels like a hug even if it sounds weird. I like when things make me feel cared in an odd way. I dont know how else to explained it. Anyway!

My Giant Nerd Boyfriend <----- Link to webtoon comic

Hope you have an amazing day or night! Remeber to stay hydrated and to get enough sleep! -TOD

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rotisseries · 8 months

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scott and malia show up and theo and liam tell them and show them the bodies ans earlier scalia tried to get peter (malia's dad) to join the fight against the hunters but he refused and he just randomly shows up to where scott malia and thiam are gathered like "lets hope this thing doesnt feed off desperation because this room reeks of it." you got that the fuck right, theo's in the room. and he says something else about his perfect car being blown up with him in it by hunters and now he wants the demise of anything that could have caused that and pointedly puts down a charred wheel on the window sill and it shows liam looking back at theo like "yikkkesss😗👀" i thought it was soooo funny and kinda cute and very close after the desperation quote . i wont talk about it tho. ill sound delusional

anyway you may be thinking, jayme, you said scott has been chill with theo, everyone seems like theyre tolerating him just fine, maybe its okay now, they dont have to forgive him but maybe they understand hes trying. im here today to tell you, this is 100 percent not true. scott and malia are tolerating him bc desperate times desperate measures its supernatural vs hunters/humans and theo is unfortunately willing to help. because hes .. yk supernatural. but they will never accept him. like even if scott knew about the dread doctor thing, (which he kinnndaaa does because the dread doctors called him a true failure IN FRONT of scott and he saw how theo reacted.) he also knew deucalion was manipulating theo, leading him to kill his pack. i dont think he would really. care. like scott is very nice but i dont think he could understand him. and also theo KILLED him so i mean. the sympathy only goes so far. hes never gonna be truly comfortable around him again. i think he'll try tho. for liam. and malia. she holds grudges. theo shot her in the stomach and left her to get killed by her mom so. she hates his fucking guts and never wants to see him again but too fucking BAD liam is making him show up to every pack christmas i know it in my soul. anyway liam is bonded to him, he's quickly becoming anchored to him and learning to lean on him and listen to him in crisis and when hes hurt and angry. so. he likes him. he wont say that tho (atm. post s6 4 sure). stiles also rather kill himself than see theo again but he's gotta fucking deal. he likes to make his assumptions about people. not saying theyre always wrong im saying he doesnt Like being wrong and rarely is so hes gonna stick go what he thinks about theo. and continye being suspicious and skeptical of him and make snide comments for the rest of his life. mason saw the aftermath of what happened that night when theo killed scott and. yeah. not fond of him either. and i dont think lydia has strong feelings on the matter besides with tracy being dead. kira hates him but shes not here anymore. so doesnt matter. and corey. corey dislikes him. i think thats the best way to put it. hayden hates him but shes gone. and also idgaf what she thinks😐.

anyway next episode will show you just how deep a certain persons hatred runs. and its the worst possible one and i WILL explain why in detail.

they can't hold on to that anger that's LITERALLY liam's poor little meow meow

#ask #ghoultaffy #hi jayme!

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soopkreem · 1 year

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Oooo I read your hcs on Jeremy and Waylon dynamic and a bit of an idea sorta came up, it’s a little unrelated but… Do you think Jer would see Miles as some sort of replacement for Waylon and try to go after him? I feel like it becomes way too obsessive and it scares off Miles (but Jer doesn’t see it that way, he’s just gone into incel mode bc of everything that’s happened with his past relationships so far, like ‘why do you all leave me????’) or something lol

TLDR: It could happen! But I have my reasons AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP RAMBLING IM SO SORRY ANON

That could happen if we're taking the desperate route hahaha though I feel like Miles can replace Rick rather than Waylon, since they're both kinda similar, in a way. So basically RickJer is the rich and spoiled version of camerashipping.

So, if the thing with Miles really happens, I think he'd just give everything up and put up a thick wall and just do something by himself. It's up to Miles if he wants to get closer to him or not (huge possibility by the way, Miles is just THAT adamant sometimes, mainly because Jer is a former one of the leaders of a shady transnational company, and he wants to know more about Murkoff)

It's too long so I'm going to place the details of Jer's feelings about Rick and Way under the cut!

So, to put it simply following this anon's question...

It's nothing climatic tbh. He doesn't lash out or anything like that. It's just... When you knew a person would do something bad to you before they do it, and the thing really happens in the future, you feel almost numb about them. It’s juft poof all the positive and even negative feelings are gone. “I’m not surprised, but I’m still mad” kinda feeling?

He's met people with various personalities, he can predict how people would react and act based on their personalities alone. He knew Waylon would actually send the emails (he just didn't expect worse stuff will happen as well). It's almost like he has no energy to even be mad about it lol but he still wants it to be hurt as much as his efforts were gone to waste (to understand this, please read my ramble under the cut, I'm sorry,,,), so he's being petty about it,,

"Somebody's been telling stories outside of class. Mr. Waylon Park, consulting contract 8208. Software engineer with a level 3 security clearance. Graduated cum laude from Berkley, but still somehow not smart enough to realize that the last thing a fly ought to do in a spider's web is wiggle. Somehow dumb enough to think that a borrowed laptop, onion router, and firewall patch would be enough to fool the world's leading supplier of biometric security. Stupid, Mr. Park. More than stupid, in fact, that was crazy."

LIKE ITS KINDA FUNNY IF YOU THINK ABOUT HIS DIALOGUES THAT WAY. I'd love to imagine that he was genuinely surprised Waylon actually attempted to send them through a shitty plan, it was insane, so at the same time he's laughing at Way's attempt while the actual person is terrified senseless on the floor. akjaksdjkad

I think a lot about Jer and it's really embarrassing......

My take on him is pretty boring and weird, I guess? Jeremy never actually... Feel the need to befriend/love someone, he didn't expect to have one so soon - it was just that Rick and Waylon happened to be people who were close to him, so he made some efforts into their relationship, expected something more from them in return, since he trusted them. Rather than mourning over people who betrayed him, he's frustrated over the things he had sacrificed in exchange for their companionship; All the money, all the covering efforts, all the emotions, the sentiments, etc, etc, are all wasted on people like them. It's not like he's close close with them either, they're pretty much just friends with benefits to putting it in summary lol

One of my friends described it so much better but unfortunately I don't remember how he worded it so bear with me anon I'm sorry, When Jeremy watches as Rick was sent to the engine, he doesn't feel sad. Rick wasn't his friend, but he feels like something is missing - something about it made him feel betrayed - probably betrayed by himself... Even the feeling itself disturbs him because even he couldn't pinpoint what was causing it. It's between "I'm completely fine even if you die" and "I wish you were here" to put it simply. I know I'm sorry if your brain exploded there,,, emotions are complicated tbh

So... it's not really like Jer isn't capable of human emotions, but rather, it's more complicated because he views emotions as something to be suppressed because they can weaken you. Showing emotions makes him vulnerable, thus making him pile up emotions and complicates stuff because he doesn't even understand himself.

My god its 3 am rn i hope im at least making sense,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

#replies #anon #outlast hc #kt: jeremy blaire #kt: waylon park #kt: richard trager #kt: outlast

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uncloseted · 1 year

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You probably don’t even care, which is understandable, but do you think Hailey Bieber gives off high school mean girl energy? I personally do think she is pretty and successful, but i also just hate going on social media and see ppl take everything and blow it out of proportion to pit her against Selena Gomez and think whatever she says or does is out of jealousy over Selena and/or shading or bullying her (like what happened with the tiktok she made with Kendall Jenner using a certain tiktok sound, or even what recently happened with her and Kylie Jenner with the eyebrow thing) I do think they both do their own thing and want to move on, but somethings i see online seem either coincidental or non coincidental. Its social media, obvs. God knows what these celebs really do or think. These people don’t even care about us anyway so we shouldn’t play the blame game over this 😂 Overall, ppl shouldn’t encourange this for the sake of Selena’s mental health, the internet just wants Hailey to plummet and find closure that she *is* a mean person, but like I said I see things online that make me second guess that Hailey is just… off at certain times. I have so much to say about this but I cant articulate it all in one message, so Im just gonna leave it here 🥲 I dont blame Selena for taking a social media break, and i should do the same when I really feel like its best

That's so funny, I had actually just finished reading a deep-dive on the Hailey/Selena/Justin situation when you sent this. I do think Hailey gives off kind of "mean girl" energy, but I feel like people really blow it out of proportion. I think a lot of people would react the same way that she has if they were in her situation- she's constantly being compared to Selena and told that Selena was better for Justin or that he still really loves Selena, and Selena doesn't seem be able to let the relationship go even though Hailey and Justin have been married for over five years. I'm not saying Hailey couldn't deal with all of this better or that she's not being kind of mean, but I do think that a lot of the internet's hatred of Hailey comes down to the fact that she's a nepo baby with a famous husband as opposed to her actions. If the internet liked Hailey more as a person, I don't think they would be accusing her of being a mean girl.

And for Selena's part, I think she somehow gets way more hate and way less hate than she deserves? Her PR team is truly excellent- they've patched over a lot of stuff that would have sunk a different artist's career- but almost because of that, it seems like there's a group of people who are obsessed with making her out to be a giant villain? I think in general, Selena comes across as being much more sympathetic than Hailey because Selena has really worked for what she has, did "start from the bottom", and has struggled with her health very publicly, while Hailey has been given every advantage. But I think at this point, Selena should be able to let the whole thing go, and she's kind of keeping it alive while insisting that she's the victim and "being kind" and "sending love". She's also not really discouraging her fans from harassing Hailey, even though she's taking the stance of moral high ground.

Meanwhile, I think the real villain in this situation keeps getting totally ignored- straight up, this entire thing is Justin's fault. If he had been normal about his breakup with Selena and his relationship with Hailey, this wouldn't be happening. But because he very publicly ping-ponged between them from 2014 to when he eventually married Hailey in 2018 (only 7 months after having broken up with Selena, and only 3 months after having gotten back together with Hailey), it makes a lot of sense to me that both of them feel insecure and threatened by the other. Plus, Justin could have handled the media frenzy around his girlfriends differently- to this day, telling his fans, "I'm very much in love with my wife but I have a ton of respect for all the women I've dated in the past. Please don't harass them or act rudely towards them," would probably make a difference.

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jupio · 1 year

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tl;dr my uni house sucks absolute fucking ass and its been building but one things happened today and it has. tipped me over the edge. so its either write it out or scream

i just want. one fucking week in this house where noone does anything that makes me want to beat the shit out of them

we had a couple silverfish earlier this week so i put my houseplants on a window sill in the shared hall outside my room because of the damp. this was 4 days ago and i havent watered them since so they should be bone dry.

last night i went to bed first but the other people who live here decided to stay up and get drunk

i got my plants back in today because there havent been anymore silverfish and went to water and prune them but when i leant in closer to the first one i noticed two things.

1. the soil was soaked through and messy 2. it fucking stank of piss

so yknow i dont want to jump to conclusions but what other fucking conclusions are there here. someone in this god fucking awful house thought it would be funny to take one of my plants and piss in it for fucking what??? for the laughs???

theyve poured wine on my dishes, they broke my kitchen scales, theyve screamed and tried to break and kick in my door at 4 in the morning when high on ket, theyve made fun of me to my face, theyve made fun of my hobbies, they make snide comments where i can tell i’m being made fun of but i cant work out what i’ve said wrong, theyve slammed doors at every hour of the fucking night for weeks, they scream up and down the stairs at 3am, they call me boring, they call me stupid and autistic and unfunny and bitchy and nit-picky and overly sensitive and i am so fucking SICK of trying to live here

every day i am masking so hard that i’m even more irritable and i go to bed exhausted and full of anxiety because i know!! i know everytime i leave a room they all look at each other like oh thank god ollie’s gone we can finally be offensive and i’m not sleeping properly, and i’m always on edge in my own home. i cant relax here ever

and idk. someone else might take this less seriously and brush it off. but i cant and i’m tired of trying to explain to them that maybe its funny to prank each other but when you fuck with my stuff it’s not funny, it completely derails my expectations of things and especially with adhd my reactions to things can be out of proportion. so its not funny at all. im just so angry that im shaking and i want to beat the shit out of someone. so no, i dont take well to it, and im not gonna laugh and deal with it, im gonna cry, and react like a kid. and then noone is having any fun because everyone acts like its so awkward that im upset when really they could just be normal fucking decent people and leave me the hell alone.

and now i have to try and deal with this and i have no fucking clue how im even meant to approach it. “hi guys, just wondering who pissed in my beloved trailing ivy? it was £25 so would love some financial compensation and also for you to hold still so i can break your fucking nose!”

i dont even know if i should just leave it because its just not worth it. i dont even care if im a pushover at this point i am so. tired. of trying to make them respect me as a person. thats what it feels like, it feels like they dont even see me as a person they just see me as a fucking circus freak.

the plants still in my room. i dont even know what to do with that. i dont want to touch it because just touching the pot made my hands smell. so just everytime i look up i get upset and scared and angry all over again because its right there. and im 90% sure i know who did it but if i confront him about it he’ll do that thing where people go cmon its just a joke why are you being so sensitive? jeez, lighten up its not a big deal and ill look stupid and sensitive and different like i always do

ive got 4 more months of living here and then i am fucking gone and i am never speaking to these people again.

#you know its bad if its getting me to re-consider moving back in with my parents #this is. a kinda long and very angry rant but honestly im shaking right now so its warranted #local old man #vent post

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kithtaehyung · 2 years

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WHEW here we go Ryen!! This is a lot but here were my thoughts 🥰 (part 1 bc I have to split it all agagag

IMMEDIATELY I WAS LIKE FUCK ITS NOT NAMJOON AHAHAHA THEN OH FUCK ITS JIN!!!!! LOL I WAS SO SHOCKEDD BUT ITS OK WE LOVE

When I tell you my heart dropped to my ass…..PLEASE we know there’s some history here (& I can’t wait to know abt it!!!) but this made me so nervous for how yoongi was going to react - mad?? sad?? all of the above??

1. “Have you?” He is!! Just won’t admit it yet 🤪🤭 LISTEN I WAS GETTING SO TERRITORIAL IT WAS BAAAAD. I love u jk but please no 🫶🏻.

2. THE BIG REVEAL OH MY GOD!!!!! Hope is what leaves him!!!???! PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE - torn between wanting to be a good friend, stepping back bc miss girl is “off limits” anyway, thinking jk is what should be best for her…. HOPING BC MAYBE WE MIGHT WORK OUT!!!! YOONGI SHE WANTS YOU TRUST MEEEEEEE

Again, love you jk but not today ty 🫰🏻(u can come to me instead it’s ok)

THIS WHOLE SECTION. Ahh, it’s always the what ifs huh. What if he did step away and give jk and her the chance to reconnect? What if it’s really what’s best?? What if it’s not?? His POV is so interesting because we rarely see it esp in this light. All he wants to do is make her happy even if it means hurting himself in the process 🥲

BUT let’s stay in this moment right?? Hold you tight while he still has you😭😭😭😭 (the more than anything part absolutely killed me like yes let’s understand our feelings tonight thank you)

Need I say more

tbc hehe

ABEEEEEE I CAN FINALLY GO THROUGH AND RESPOND TO THESE AMAZING NOTES SFFHSJFD first off, can i just say: my jaw dropped when you sent this first one in, and then it kept going with each message of annotations you made?? holy shit i've never screamed so much when i realized what you were doing!! ok ok screaming over now we go under a cut for more (inevitable) yelling:

your thing about the brother was so funny bc LMAO i was wondering what people were gonna say when the rapline names dropped!! i saw that you realized that it in fact wasn't jin either so it's all good :D

When I tell you my heart dropped to my ass…..PLEASE we know there’s some history here (& I can’t wait to know abt it!!!) but this made me so nervous for how yoongi was going to react - mad?? sad?? all of the above??

awhhhhh yeah.. the way we get a sinking feeling as soon as the reveals start to happen. i like how you sniffed out a history so quickly, though?? damn!

1) “Have you?” He is!! Just won’t admit it yet 🤪🤭 LISTEN I WAS GETTING SO TERRITORIAL IT WAS BAAAAD. I love u jk but please no 🫶🏻. 2) THE BIG REVEAL OH MY GOD!!!!! Hope is what leaves him!!!???! PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE - torn between wanting to be a good friend, stepping back bc miss girl is “off limits” anyway, thinking jk is what should be best for her…. HOPING BC MAYBE WE MIGHT WORK OUT!!!! YOONGI SHE WANTS YOU TRUST MEEEEEEE

LMFAO THE DEFENSIVE MODE WAS ONNNN. we love jk so much in this house so this is all out of tough love, we swear!!

and your "NOoOoOOoO" TOOK ME ALL THE WAY OUT PLSSS.. yoongi def recoiled so damn fast but i get it. he had his reasons, albeit so stupid. :'((( if only he knew what we knew.

Again, love you jk but not today ty 🫰🏻(u can come to me instead it’s ok) THIS WHOLE SECTION. Ahh, it’s always the what ifs huh. What if he did step away and give jk and her the chance to reconnect? What if it’s really what’s best?? What if it’s not?? His POV is so interesting because we rarely see it esp in this light. All he wants to do is make her happy even if it means hurting himself in the process 🥲

LMFAO exactly i love how everyone's like "omg jk screw off and come to me instead" LOLLL

sheesh, his pov's always hurt but are amazing validations for us as readers. can you imagine if we didn't have any of his pov's? we would wonder what in the hell is happening and would be blindsided just like reader. on the flip side, it kinda hurts us two-fold anyway bc we know both sides. which is rough when both of them are so sAD but we wanna scream to not be!!

BUT let’s stay in this moment right?? Hold you tight while he still has you😭😭😭😭 (the more than anything part absolutely killed me like yes let’s understand our feelings tonight thank you)

the "more than anything" and "please say his name a lot tonight" double hit absolutely destroyed me. bc this man, in his mind, knows things are ending soon. clearly, he still very much wants to milk out whatever he can with reader and it's just aRGHHGHGHHG

AHHHH i can't wait to respond to the other parts, abee. you are INCREDIBLE!! thank you so so much for taking the time to annotate the lines and screenshot and even format these reviews. i am: the most grateful and feel very unworthy honestly :'))) truly, thank you so much!! more to come soon!

#INCREDIBLE #abee!#lovely people #asks:3tan #3tanhof #3tan9 #*ryenfictalk #mailbox💌#long post #3tannotations

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raincamp · 10 months

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7 - 26 - 23

my mind won't shut the fuck up

its been DAYS and the only thing I've been able to think about is therapy. and my therapeutic relationship and how much im fucking it up and my fear of being terminated.

i can't fucking lose her. im so dependent on her right now and even the thought of having to wait an extra few days for another session makes me feel like I can't breathe.

this is making me realize i CANNOT for the life of me handle other people setting boundaries. and coming to that realization is causing me so, so much guilt and shame. i know how important boundaries are, i know they keep relationships stable, i know their entire purpose is to ensure comfort and self respect and security.

but for some reason my dumb ass BPD brain thinks that it means they don't like me and that i did something wrong and if i make one wrong move they're going to leave before i even have a chance to apologize. and for some OTHER reason that i can't explain, that causes me to rage at them so that they DO actually leave me.

seems counterintuitive but i dont know im not a professional

i've been ruminating today, there's one incident that i keep fearing is going to play out. and there's several ways it could end and none of them are good, and i've been having to obsessively research DBT termination protocol just to reassure myself. and even then i keep telling myself that maybe she won't follow it and she'll just drop me and i'll have nowhere to go.

and its so funny, because despite all of this fear of abandonment, i am still being willful towards pursuing supplementary addiction treatment. i know how it's going to end, i know how she's going to respond, and i know that its going to hurt me either way. so why am i still feeling like this?

maybe its some way of taking back control of the situation and trying to get back at her for hurting me?

i keep imagining, thursday comes around, and she texts me asking if i've set up an intake appointment, and i say "no" because i haven't, and i don't want to, and maybe (if my hypothesis is correct) i want to show her how much its hurting me.

and then she responds "that's unfortunate, we're going to have to reschedule our appointment then as per the boundary we discussed. is Monday okay for you?" and ofc that triggers me so i respond "no, please don't do this to me. i can't deal with it. it hurts so much."

i expect she would then direct me to use a distress tolerance skill, and that ofc would piss me off and, idk, in this imaginative scenario, sending her a message telling her to Fuck Off would be SO satisfying.

especially considering how angry i am in this moment and have been this whole week.

its from this point forward that i have no idea how she would respond. i dont think she would be very validating, so any response i would get would be painful as fuck. maybe she just wouldn't respond. maybe she would tell me that she is disengaging and to text her when i've calmed myself down using whatever distress tolerance she suggested for me. maybe she would remind me why she set the boundary that she did.

my biggest fear is that she would decide that my reaction was inappropriate and decide to abandon me after our next session.

i'm hoping this doesn't happen, that i'm able to stop myself, especially since right now i have the insight to predict how i might react, how i want to react. but i can't know, when my emotions get too intense i lose all control of my actions, and any urges that i have come out full force.

its been 5 days since my last appointment and i miss her so much.

pathetic

- andrew

#actually bpd #im not mentally stable #bpd struggles #bpd stuff #actually mentally ill #bpd #tumblr diary #borderline personality disorder #mental illness #borderline #dbt #therapy #rant #vent #bpd vent

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dirt-grub · 3 years

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so help me god by the time this day is over i will draw dan and chris in those fucking horrid orange and blue suits from dumb and dumber

#my dads two best friends had a running joke when he was engaged to my stepmom that they were gonna show up to his wedding in those #and oh my fucking god i wish they did every day of my life #i mean the little green leprechaun ass bridesmaid suit from the ep with hortence's wedding is a one hit kill already #but just. i must exact balance in the world by bringing this idea into existence its been haunting me #that movie is a critical core element of my childhood development #and its so funny because when i tell people that they either dont react at all and are like yea that movie was funny or are terrified #I HAD A FRIEND IN HS WHO GREW UP IN CATHOLIC SCHOOL and i was like yeah lemme put on a comfort movie from my youth #and she was like WHO IN THE FUCK SHOWED THIS TO YOU??? WERE YOU SUPERVISED???#i mean the answer is no but my parents WATCHED this WITH ME #the only time i ever looked away was when lloyd had that revenge fantasy of pulling that dude's heart out of his chest #and that one scene where hes asleep at the wheel and dreams abt that girl taking her shirt off but its the headlights of a truck #but i kept my eyes open anyway GDJASKJ #i dont watch many movies at all but thats a favorite holy fuck #god its so funny. they dont make shit like that anymore. YOU SOLD PEETEY TO A BLIND KID???#AND THE OFFICER WHO THINKS HES DRINKING AT THE WHEEL BUT HE WAS JUST PISSING IN A BEER BOTTLE #oh. if you havent seen that movie come to my house we will have an epic movie night like old times #sleeping bags on the floor and stuffed animals lined up on the coffee table u kno how it is #connor talks

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shoezuki · 3 years

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ok so like i been Thinkin a lot on that stream techno had today and i may be Thinkin Too Much cuz i was doing psychology while watching but im going to say Words Now

the entire idea and Plot of tommy going from only interacting/being manipulated by dream to only interacting with techno is a Lot. theres a lot here. and i am feasting like a fucking king on the potential of it and what this could all Mean

I think we’re building up the idea of how techno and dream differ and how they house both similarities and extreme differences in their ideals.

So if we considered how Tommy’s arcs have changed theres a very, VERY clear juxtaposition between the exile arc to.... raccoon arc? whatever the fuck is goin on

Tommy Was manipulated, isolated, and gaslit by dream. that was the only guy he really had interacted with and that was Intentional entirely. Its very obvious this will have and currently has an affect on tommy.

Now, he’s with technoblade. theres a lot of shit that can be read in this simply as considered right now. I feel we’re clearly supposed to at least somehow compare dream and technoblade because their positions are somewhat similar concerning how they are interacting with tommy.

Tommy can only really interact with techno, only techno really has the ability to see him (although ranboo, ghostbur, and phil could see him but theres obvious difficulties in their case), and how tommy regards technoblade is.... complicated. like how he regards dream at the moment.

but theres some really, really important and clear differences in this that i think will show a lot about techno’s character and what’s to come

first of all, there’s a question of why techno is seemingly ‘letting’ tommy live with him. No joke, i’ve discussed this a LOT in the technocord and it’s made me realize it from a different perspective since many of those people in there are from Before techno joined the smp.

so, there’s no clear ‘rational’ reason why techno would benefit from teaming with tommy. there’s some arguments that could be made; tommy’s position with people and especially tubbo, using tommy as a bargaining chip with dream, and something else i cant remember. but the technocord hardcore ppl feel tommy is a liability in the long term. techno doesn’t really have much to gain beyond a distraction. the idea of using tommy in order to convince him he’s getting the disks and then to destroy lmanberg is kinda.... its jus more trouble to techno. In fact, it wouldve been defendable for techno to kick him out; he stole his stuff, and we saw how he reacted to his cows being killed, his previous base being pillaged. You’d have thought techno wouldve been angrier.

but like. that aside. there’s little reason for techno to open up to tommy. and thats the point.

there’s no necessity on techno’s part. he doesnt need tommy. he could kick him out easily. but he won’t.

I imagine technoblade sees the trauma and hardship tommy went through and he sympathizes with him. Its been made clear that techno doesnt know the full extent of what happened, but he doesnt need to. he knows enough.

Now, back to the happenings of the last stream,

it wasnt plot heavy at all. (mostly because techno’s fuckign glasses are held together with SCOTCH TAPE the guy couldnt even fucking use ducttape i hate that) but there were a Few interesting things, including the Plot Stream a bit;

the ‘box’ techno made with the idea of hiding tommy from dream. (perhaps a joke but it still shows something i feel)

how he’s been giving tommy a Lot of stuff. he hasnt Genuinely been upset at his golden apples being taken; in fact, techno gave him more food in protest of him eating all the gapples instead of.... demanding them back

went mining in the nether with the intention of getting tommy better stuff

he replaced the log he accidentally stripped. extremely funny considering he got the wrong type of wood but he tried

expending more resources on tommy with invisibility potions so that he wasnt in danger of being seen

Repeatedly would assure tommy that dream Is Not His Friend.

at the idea of tommy being ‘banned’ from the nether and being attacked in lmanberg, techno laughed at the idea of him being ‘attacked’ and killed even when tommy worried that he’d die for the Last Time

implicated that techno WOULD defend him. and the idea of someone killing Either him or tommy was funny because of that

okay so slight comparison to dream; techno is instead GIVING tommy resources instead of blowing them up, he’s obviously intent on protecting him in some way, and he assures tommy that dream is No Good (rather than how dream was telling tommy no one cared about him)

But there’s one instance that was really, really important to me

the control room had a very bad impact on tommy. most likely a panic attack (the shaking, heavy breathing, scattered speech/thought is something i know so intimately lmao) and techno’s reaction to it was extremely interesting.

first, techno said he was ‘freaking out for no reason’ which could be a) techno is horrific at emotions and vulnerability lmao and b) to Him, it Is nothing. he has no clue what tommy had been through.

He repeatedly asked what was wrong. what had happened in that room. He pressed Slightly. but as soon as tommy said he didnt want to talk about that, techno instantly backed off and said its alright. specifically, he said:

“It’s fine, no one recovers in a day tommy. Healing is a long process, it’s fine.”

that shit hit me like a freight train. Mostly i didnt expect anything to come from this stream like that but FUCK LMAO.

The biggest thing is, i think technoblade is going to help tommy heal from the dream shit and get back on his feet.

but also, even though im not entirely sure i need to see more, tommy will get techno to be more caring. We know philza is the only one techno is really close to, and ghostbur as well. both of which either weren’t involved in betraying techno, or doesnt remember it. i see it pointed out that techno is going at tubbo and his government rather than dream, but i think it makes sense.

dream technically hasnt challenged techno’s ideals or what he wants; while tubbo stole from him, used him as a weapon, and reinstated a government despite everything techno was saying.

Tommy took part in betraying him, thats without a doubt. but tommy was also screwed over by the government in place. so techno empathizes with him. maybe they dont fully trust each other, but thats a work in progress. and it will progress to technoblade trusting tommy despite their past, and realizing that dream is in a position of power over Everyone.

tl:dr: tommy is going to heal with techno’s help and full come to terms with/realize what dream did to him, and techno is going to realize he CAN trust people and that dream has been the one pulling the strings all along

#mcyt #dream smp #technoblade #tommyinnit #long post #THIS IS A LOT OF WORDS I COULD TECHNICALLY SAY MORE BUT #i feel bad putting a MASSIVE wall of text on ppls dash lmoa #like. i could continue on with what their 'alliance' could mean from techno's perspective #because looking now it looks more like tommy is going to 'use' techno again. as a means of getting his discs back #although yeah it kinda is but i think that will change #i want it too #and i want techno to go towards being TRULY anarchist like cmon ur close buddy but not quite #hes got the 'screw the goverment let us people be our own ruling bodies of ourselves' which is right #but the idea of 'the powerful live above all' is NOT right. at all #like its the opposite #but technoblade acknowledges he wasnt really 'that anarchist' and has said in the past he doesnt have like. a specific idealogy #that he follows beyond 'an anarchist'#ok im stopping talking in the tags but technoblade please. please. become a real anarchist cmon

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