#and it will be because of my laziness my pride my selfishness my lack of compassion and reverence | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lizzaneia-elizalde · 5 months

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Hi I'm back. How are you?

How about... A yandere that has had a bunch of lovers and either killed them because he got bored or broke their heart beyond repair? But them he meets the reader and something changes?

Idk it seems like a fun dea.

Yandere! Male! Player x gn! Barista! Reader

Uh ohz, here is the player 🙄 there's a little twist to the request, meowing! I hope you don't mind. (Another Greek mythos twist. Not as blatant as Hades though. Only a bit of the Greek mythos is grabbed, not all.)

I'll see to it how can we break this little man

ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ)

AND, I AM GOING TO STOP TAKING NEW YANDERE REQUESTS! But, I am going to take asks about the existing yanderes now!

Yandere! Player name: Amor

A resounding slap echoed throughout the bustling cafe, silencing the people talking to each other. The woman, tear stricken and angry, looked at the man in front of her.

"We're over!" She yelled before stomping away from the cafe, leaving the man behind.

The people started to gossip amongst each other, but one particular action by the man stunned them.

He just sat down, took out his phone, and called somebody.

"Hey, fancy meeting tonight? I just know of this nice cafe. Date, my treat."

Shameless, the people thought as he chuckled and ended the call with a lazy smirk, stirring his coffee and sipping it.

Amor. Extremely handsome man. Charming, always knew how to get the ladies.

That's what made him full of shit since being handsome is his only redeeming quality.

He's arrogant, a bastard, selfish, has a pride taller than the Eiffel tower, and a total player.

He juggles women left and right, flavor of the day, who's gonna be my girl for the morning, afternoon, and night?

Why do people flock to this man again?

Ah, because the Gods favor this bitch.

What did he do in his past life that women love this man?

Well, in his past life, he's a boring nerd.

His family loved him dearly, and wanted him to succeed in life.

So, attending academic camps, prestigious schools, goddamn Kumon? He got it all.

Awards, upon awards. He collects them like pokemon.

Did it make him interesting?

No. All he knew is academics, and no outside skill.

He's book smart, not street smart.

Poor guy wasn't even attractive. So, when he finished University in an Ivy League Uni, he's lost. He doesn't have charisma to charm employers, he doesn't have the confidence to do public work...

Well, that, and NASA already hired him.

What? He is not street smart and has a hard time finding a job himself, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have connections.

In short, he's a Nepo baby.

At least he's a genius so NASA made sure to use him thoroughly.

But, he felt... Bored.

He wanted more from this life of his.

He wanted a girlfriend for fuck's sake!

So, by some stupid and desperation he himself never thought of doing, he turned to the old gods.

The old Gods, surprised by a sudden influx of eager and desperation of faith from only one man, decided to entertain them.

"PLEASE! WHEN I DIE, MAKE ME EXTREMELY HANDSOME AND HAVE WOMEN LEFT AND RIGHT!"

Oh... That's not...

He's really superficial....

Did the Gods care though? Nah. He's really entertaining. Awakening old Gods just for... Women?

So they granted his wish.

When he died of old age (unfortunately for him.), He woke up to another wealthy and loving family. But this time, he's the son of a world renowned Kpop idol, and a Miss Universe.

"This is overkill." Amor thought to himself as his mother cradled her. "But damn, ain't I happy!"

Growing up, even as a kid, girls liked him. He felt like on the top of the world. He retained his memory, so he's practically a gifted child. No, perfect child even!

Except that he's actually a foul kid.

He became arrogant, a snob. Someone who viewed himself too highly for people.

But do his parents care?

Eh...

They spoil the kid a lot. And turn a blind eye to his lack in manners.

Again, went to prestigious Universities, to Kumon, academic camps.

Everything was a breeze for him now.

He got a job as a model immediately. He decided to not go down the academic path, but use his parents' connections once more to climb up the showbiz ladder!

He's still a Nepo baby in this life.

Well, again, his handsomeness is almost too good to be true (work of the goddess of beauty), so his model career is skyrocketing in success.

And women.

Countless of them.

He cycles through them like toilet paper. Throwing them away once he's got his fill.

Yet, people don't care.

He somehow built a reputation off of being a player. When people say that "he broke somebody's heart again!"

"Eh, what did you expect from being in a relationship with Amor?" They would say with a shake of their head and a smile.

That's how much the Gods intervened with his life.

Once he sets his eyes on someone, he 100% would get them.

Unless....

"Tsk. Where can I go now..."

Amor paced around the street, turning heads left and right as this man sculpted by the gods had a worried look on his face.

The cafe he frequents closed down, now he needs a new place to take his women to dates to.

He's about to get his phone when a flyer hit him directly on his face. With an irritated glower, he grabbed the flyer.

"ow! What the f... Oh?"

He stopped, seeing the content.

"new cafe open?"

It looks like a generic cafe. But what was interesting was that the cafe is located in an indoor garden. Like a greenhouse.

"This is interesting. Women love flowers, don't they? And a garden of all places!" He laughs, making the gods stir from the sudden new cafe they got.

They all fuzzed, saying that this would be a good place. But, the goddess of Beauty stirred. Saying she got a bad feeling about this.

"relax, nothing will happen."

And when he got inside the cafe, he immediately got shocked by the barista, you.

Has there ever been an ethereal beauty like you? Someone... Someone who rivals even the goddess of beauty herself?!

The goddess stirred again, shackles raised. She never made you, so why are you this attractive?

Then, the goddess whispered on his ear.

It's to make you fall in love with a monster. Someone ugly, a beast... Anything to get your status down! Nobody can be as beautiful as her!

Envy filled the goddess as she gave Amor arrows to hit you with.

Now, assigned with the task of making you fall in love with what the goddess call a 'monster', he sets off to your house in the middle of the night. With the help of the other Gods, he became invisible and flew on to your balcony.

With a creak, your balcony doors opened. Making him shimmy inside through the small crack.

Yet, fate tempted him as the moonlight hit your form. In a vulnerable state, your androgynous beauty is amplified. Your long eyelashes, your skin... Your figure...

Truly, your beauty rivaled the goddess. No, you were more beautiful than her.

His throat dried, eyes glazed over.

Gods, are they tempting him?

It would be a waste for you to fall in love with an ugly guy.

His fingers twitched, trying to grab the arrow.

"OW!"

He seethed, doubling over as he clutched his finger. It got pricked by the arrow.

He somehow forgot a crucial information.

'whoever the first person the pricked sees if the arrows only pricked one, they will fall in love with the first person they sees.'

And, as his eyes irritably looked at you, overwhelming love filled inside him as he gasped in the sudden influx of emotions.

He kneeled down, eyes wide.

He's rigid. All he could see is your form. Lovely and so bright.

And hid eyes softened. A dull light in it as his lips twitched into a lovesick smile.

He was already attracted to you before, and now, pricked by the arrows, he's utterly obsessed with you.

With a twitch of his hand once more, he grabbed the arrow and stabbed himself fully to the thigh.

"GAGH!"

He doubled over, gasping, twitching for air as his heart pulsed through his ears. His eyes frantically finding your sleeping form before letting out a shaky moan from the satisfaction.

It was like a drug. Everytime he sees you, he gets overwhelmed with feelings of affection.

Is this what love is about?

And before he knows it, the arrows are all used up.

It was morbid, seeing this man stabbed with so many arrows.

But his face says otherwise. Like a drugged up man, overdosed on ecstacy, he was in a drooling trance from the addictive feeling of love for you.

The arrow is effective enough by one arrow, and now this?

Well, let's just say...

"I count, right?" He shakily asked the gods. "I'm a monster, somebody who breaks women's heart left and right."

He trembled, standing up.

He walked over to you, legs unsteady as he dropped to his knees once more and planted his lips on your own.

It tasted, you tasted so sweet, divine upon his lips.

He wants more, but he can't risk waking you up.

"Goodbye, my love. See you tomorrow." Amor whispered, grabbing your hand and dragging his nose on your skin and inhaling your scent. Exhaling shakily, he stood up and flew away.

Let's say, the goddess of Beauty was really angry at him.

But her condition, a 'monster', fits him. So, what can she do?

She gritted her teeth and looked at him with hatred, yet complacency.

You're so pretty, it hurts.

"Welcome to the Psyche cafe! How may I help you-- oh hello, sir Amor! The usual?"

Amor slowly nodded, clearing his throat.

"yes. The usual."

It's been weeks since then. And he made sure to make himself a regular in the cafe. He stopped going on dates, and pulled a lot of strings to somehow burry the player accusations. He knows he can't really burry it all.

So he made (threatened) the women he dated to be positive about him.

He wants to fly on your radar, spot on the middle, so bad.

So, with the invisibility power he got from the Gods, he always followed you. Even up to your home.

At first, his heart pounded like crazy. What if he suddenly appeared? Will you be freaked out? Surprised? Will you run away--

No, you can't run away.

Like you can, anyways.

He knew of your favorite food, fashion sense, hell, your taste in men...

He slowly changed himself into the man of your dreams.

Like a persona he integrated into himself, this sudden change shocked the people. But, they welcomed this change.

"Is he in love, that's why he's changing?"

More than that.

He's making himself into the perfect boyfriend for you.

Now, all he needs is you!

"Here's your coffee, sir!" You greeted with a sweet smile that he swore he had to grab his soul from leaving his body. "Enjoy!"

He gently grabbed the coffee and as usual, gave you 200$.

"sir..." You grimaced.

"Please, just accept it." He smiles. "You've always been a pleasant person to talk to, y/n. So, just see it as a generous tip. That I frequently give."

You looked down at the bill and smiled. Warmness spreads through your chest.

"thank you s--"

You looked up, and froze from the look he's giving you.

Deep, crazed...

Obsessed.

You shivered in fear.

Sensing your eyes on him, he coughed loudly, averting his eyes before returning to the man you knew.

Or did you actually know him?

You don't even know anymore.

But hey, he gives huge tips.

"Thanks again for the coffee." Amor smiles, trying to sweep what happened under the rug as he waved at you.

He went to his usual table. Somewhere secluded, yet has a clear view of you surrounded by flowers.

He observes you. Plans on what to do next.

He knew he can't just waltz in and whisk you away. That's barbaric.

But he's not opposed to the idea though...

He smirks.

He can probably pull tons of strings for you to end up in his arms.

He loves you, don't mistake that.

But, a little bit of... Force would be good.

He's an impatient man.

Also, did he mention that he's a selfish asshole?

How about, making your life so miserable. Getting you kicked out of this cafe, your family suddenly getting a huge debt...

Something he knows you can't pay immediately.

And his family would coincidentally sponsor you by giving you a condition of marrying him!

Anything to be with you, really.

Or, just steal another arrow and hit it with you. That's also plausible.

But, the goddess is pissed with him. So that's the last resort.

He sips his coffee and crosses his long legs.

He's favored by the Gods anyways.

His eyes narrowed slightly as you interacted too amicably with your coworker. An obvious blush on the coworker's face as he got too touchy with you.

No, everyone in the cafe is enamoured with you. Your beauty too good for this world.

He gripped the handle of his cup.

But first, let's get rid of potential rivals, yes?

You are only his.

What is there to fear? He has the resources in his hands to make you his.

You didn't know yet, but your fate is already sealed, tied, and shackled to him.

You don't really have a choice.

#lizzaneiaelizalde #yandere writing #yandere imagines #yandere boyfriend #yandere male #male yandere x reader #tw yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere fic

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passionesolja · 6 months

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Okay, I’ve started beefing with AI again, so I got some shit to get off my chest. AI bros invading creative spaces and not understanding etiquette and social rules is a huge defining factor as to why there’s friction. A lot of these AI bros think that because a machine did it, that it negates the use of plagiarism. And if you’ve ever been in any creative space for more than a week, you know how much beef is caused by people stealing other people’s work.

“Oh well the machines are advancing, technology is advancing” mf my labor, energy, and concepts are not going to be sacrificed on the alter of your bullshit robots. Dawg, you wrote “make me a fantasy book about ogres” and that robot scoured the internet until it found SOMEONE ELSE’s years of hard work, effort, and time—months and years that they’ll never get back— and repurposed it shoddily for you. Bastardized it completely without any of the thought and nuance of the person who wrote it. You don’t even know who originally wrote what that AI generated because it doesn’t credit them.

These AI bros are selfish and lazy. Like ofc your slothful ass don’t care that the genetic anime girl you AI generated only has 3 fingers, because you don’t have one sense of pride or self worth wrapped up in this. You’re not putting yourself out there when you post AI generated art, you don’t have nothing to prove. You’re not opening yourself to being seen as complete trash and cringe whenever you show the world your art. You don’t even have the disappointment of nobody caring after you poured your heart into a project for years, months, weeks, days, or hours.

Hell, you didn’t even create the AI you’re using so you didn’t learn anything new about coding, or toil with debugging and brick walls. You’re a leech who’s too lazy to produce anything but wants the fruits given to those who truly do make shit.

AI art and writing lacks the humanity and risk of creation. It’s far removed from what makes art art. It removes the AI bro from even making something of their own. Like if somebody self-made their AI and had it for personal use only, it’d still be scummy and stealing but at least they busted their ass and created something that complex. At least the person spent time and effort creating something. Like AI isn’t easy to code, it takes effort just like art does

These AI bros are leeches. They don’t create the software the use, or the art they steal.

Because how can you—somebody who can’t draw, can’t code, isn’t a team member of the AI dev team—“push technology forward”? You’re not doing anything to advance anything, you’re a parasite who merely acts as a tester for software but you don’t implement the changes and do the work of actually translating metadata into the code.

Do not let these people lie to you, or themselves, they’re doing anything remotely productive by stealing peoples’ art and writing.

#anti ai

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yaksha-lover · 2 years

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Hello (◕ᴗ◕✿) can I request Lilia + jealousy please (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) thank you and have a great week (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

Vampire AU + Lilia + Jealousy

cw: short, rejection, jealous/possessive lilia

You stand in front of Lilia, confessing your feelings for him and he’s never felt more conflicted. Sure, he teases and openly dotes on you, but it’s easy when he knows things aren’t serious. You usually shy away from his advances, which he finds cute, but he never expected you to ever truly pursue him. He thought that surely one of the other residents more suited to your tastes would catch your eye.

Lilia isn’t unaccustomed to this type of attention, he wears his cuteness with pride after all, but it’s different with you. You’re a human and he’s a vampire. Besides the eternity that exists between you two, he’s the one who’s keeping you here at the mansion. Lilia isn’t delusional, there’s no reason you should have any positive feelings towards him, but here you are. His heart aches because he knows he holds the same ones for you.

He can see the confidence you’ve built up to tell him slowly waning as he prolongs the silence.

Lilia can’t accept your feelings. To do so would be cruel, knowing the suffering it would mean for you, were you to be with him. Him and Malleus don’t have any lack of enemies, and people seeking to hurt those they care about. He can’t put you through more than he already has.

Your fading smile and watering eyes almost make him change his mind.

“How unfortunate,” Lilia murmurs, patting your head soothingly, “You know a vampire such as myself is above the need for such things.”

The cute smile he wears drops from his face when you look away. He wants to stop you when you walk away, to pull you into his arms. Your small sniffles just heighten the pain, but he can’t let himself be that selfish.

Lilia keeps to himself that day, instead of chatting with the residents as he usually likes to do. He can’t wipe your tear-stained face from his mind. He can’t forget your humanity either. That one day, you’ll leave him behind. For once, he sits by himself, no tomato juice in hand, and contemplates the future.

Dinner comes, and Lilia drags himself out of his room to attend. It wouldn’t do well for the residents to see the head of the household hiding himself away, no matter how much he wishes he could. No, he has responsibilities to Malleus and to Silver. They will wonder where he is.

He expects to see you, but you still catch him by surprise. Instead of your usual spot next to him and Malleus, you’ve decided to sit next to a certain lazy lion. The two of you squabble on your best days, but you seem to have charmed your way into his good graces today. Leona is listening to you talk, and he actually seems to be enjoying it, instead of shooing you away. When Leona rests his hand on the small of your back with a smirk, leaning in too close for comfort, Lilia is done watching this play out.

What would he do, if you fell for Leona and forgot about him? A brute, sure to break your heart? There isn’t any world in which Lilia would let that happen. Maybe he’s weaker than he thought, become soft under your gentle affections. Seeing you with someone else, he’s afraid he can’t bear the sight. Even if it’s not for forever, you belong in his arms, not Leona’s. He can’t lose you, not to him, not to anyone.

He stands up swiftly, cute smile back on, and asks to speak to you in the hall before you dine. You refuse to make eye contact with him, but you do rise from your seat and follow him out. Lilia can feel Leona’s glare on his back as he walks, but he knows the lion is no threat to him. He pulls you into his arms as soon as the door has closed and you’re out of earshot of the other residents. It feels right, to hold you close to him. He knows keeping you away anymore isn’t worth it, when it makes both of you suffer.

“Forgive me for my earlier words. I wished to protect you from a difficult future, but I can’t hold back any longer.” Lilia takes your hand and kisses it with as much gentleness as he can muster when his heart is racing for the first time in what truly feels like forever. He’s lived a life longer than you can concieve, and still a human he met by chance is having this effect on him. And yet, he has no desire to free himself from your hold.

“I can’t promise our life together will be easy, but it seems I am already yours, and that I have been for a long time. I revoke my earlier words. Are you prepared to be mine in return, to spend an eternity in my arms, darling?”

You punch him in the shoulder gently, for hurting you, and then launch yourself back into his arms, squeezing his waist and letting him know just how prepared you are.

Prompt List

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #twst lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #twsited wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland angst #angst prompt #angst #twisted wonderland vampire au #twst vampire au

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re-ikrmso · 10 months

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i don’t know how to describe c!Dark sometimes. (he;s my pfp btw that one expression is the best thing i’ve ever drawn at the time i still like it RUAGH)

there’s like. nothing too “special” about him? he’s. “mundane” for a spirit of violence/fear. i think its because i want my main focus to be on c!nocide (who ends up becoming the greater threat)

with what i have planned so far, they’re like surprisngly passive? i guess they used to sweep through towns to keep up thier reputation, but even they eventually ceased that. that’s pretty bad but sometimes i have trouble putting bad actions into a correct scale.

he doesnt’ like pull apart anyone, or like eat anyone he’s just dramatic and (probably) psychopathic. he’s more of a fucking “good guy” than c!nocide, the person who ends up fighting him and sealing him into a void. (because only one person here is an extreme nihilist/true to the definition of a ‘true’ nihilist) [OH GOD SPOILERS]

but one thing i can say is that he’s prideful. hes pretty much narcissistic and often feels extreme selfishness (uh oh). he’s willing to help the main characters, but not for any real reasons until. [oh god spoilers]

like, he’s prety much a side/background character which i find odd [wait im the one writingt this...which is exactly why im complaining i guess LMAO]

because he is...such an important part? and hes the motherfucking spirit of violence/fear who has little special/unique powers??? i mean, c!nocide doesn’t quite have anything ‘special’ either directly related to thier titles and like ive built a lot off of that IDEA BUT LIKE

RUUUUAGGHHHH WHY WONT THEY FIT AND MAKE SENSEEE

AND YES, LIKE c!dark is able to like “haha i trigger your fight/flight on my command!”

and c!nocide....it’s ambigious but like there’s kind of a reason for that

BUT LIKE RUAGHHHH

WHY!! WHY DID I DO THIS TO c!DARK!! I MEAN IT ALSO KIND OF MAKES SENSE WITHIN HIS CHARATCER HES ALSO A LAZY ASS WHO BElEVES IN EFFECNCY OVER MINDLESS DESTRUCTION MOST THE TIME AND HIS lACK OF EMPATHY MAKES HIM MEH SO HE JUST FINDS ThINGS TO DO THAT GIVE HIM LESS TROUBLE

and also he likes chipping away at Nocide’s paitence/sanity But LIKE RUAGHHH SPIRIT OF VIOLENCE AND FEAR.... but also like yay teehee symbolism/message but like RUAHGHH

also i will be like posting some world-lore soon so that might provide more context BUT LIKE

THE GUY IS PERSONIFIED AS A GIANT ENDLESS SERPRENT WHO CAN COILL AROUND THE WORLD AND CHOKE IT OUT

AND HES JUST LAZING AROUND>??? WHAT AM I DOING WITH HIM WWUUUAAHHHHHH

#c!dark #c!nocide #rt intervals #ocs #oc #ramble

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 2 years

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ok w/e putting this here cos i need space to ramble hasdhakdhs

so. ocs as spirits and demons.

Neira: duty and fear

she was pretty easy tbh because duty is one of, if not the, core motivator for her (duty as a mage, as a warden, as a friend, etc. etc.), as well as the conflicts these duties can cause when they clash. The other strong motivator is fear and they're kinda related but just. fear is something that is very present for her in a bunch of ways (fear of disappointing, fear making mistakes, fear of losing herself, fear of harming ppl, list goes on) and are also ironically also what makes the whole "being more susceptible to demons" (aka a demon of fear) a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Kala: perseverance (probably? tho idk if that's too "on the nose") and i'm not sure about demon (pride?)

Like perseverance pretty much summarizes her entire life, beating the odds and living in spite of everything wanting, including her determination to live her own life and live a good life despite living on borrowed time from the taint, and not just that but also preserving her pride and dignity and sense of self despite not even being supposed to have any. Which is why i wanna say she'd be susceptible to pride too, cos pride is something that has acted as an anchor and as fuel through all that, in a way.

Liam: love and sloth

Love was easy because the love for his family and friends is pretty much at the core of most of what he does, love for his family and friends but also generally just. having love for his home and getting sentimentally attached to things and all that. For the demon my first instinct was despair since that's he fights with quite a bit rip, but tbh he would be such an easy target for sloth i think. not sloth as in laziness but as in craving relief and simple contentment. like. if you gave him a perfectly simple boring happy life like the sloth demon did with Ali in DAO that's it it's game over he ain't leaving.

Lilian: courage or valor, and despair

Not sure about courage or valor because both of that is something she both values a lot and has a lot of, and it's what allows her well, do what she's doing, but it's also what she inspires in other people. As for despair, that is an emotion she very very actively tries to repress avoid and prevent, but it's that looming ever present threat. It's why she is so stubborn about being proactive and about keep going forward because if she didn't she would simply fall into that pit.

June and Ari i'm still not sure about; June i wanna say would be curiosity or learning? Because she does have a natural curiosity which does inform a lot of her actions overall, but it is also very selective. As for the demon maybe desire? Desire as in both the desire for knowledge but also just. personal desire. Like she wants things and can be incredibly insistent on these wants, it's something that drives her but can also make her selfish and ruthless in pursuing them

For Ari purpose plays a big role but it's more like.. the question of and desire for purpose? and how he thrives as inquisitor cos it gives him the sense of purpose he was lacking, so idk if purpose itself as a spirit would be entirely right. Demon could be desire or terror or pride i think? The desire for purpose, for knowledge, for answers. Pride is also there as a motivator especially later and post Trespasser, and (ironically) part of why he wants to stop Solas. But he does also have a persistent fear of like cosmic horror and nothingness and insignificance in the back of his mind that he tries very hard to ignore, so,,,,,,

#there has been so much talk about spirit and demon ocs so this has been on my brain #still gotta figure these out better but it is a v fun way to try and figure out core emotions everyone is led by #tho i am always tempted to do more than one cos it's so hard to pick only one single thing #since theres always so much at play that all interrelates #but neway. oc blurb be upon ye #oc: neira surana #oc: kalagna brosca #oc: liam hawke #oc: lilian hawke #oc: june trevelyan #oc: ari adaar #my ocs #man it's always a pain to tag all of them hsdhksdhkds #got some thoughts on the other ones too but trying to focus on these guys first #long-ish post

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dreamscheme92 · 2 months

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Trust your gut

It may seem like obvious advice but what is sometimes the most obvious is the hardest to pick up on. Let me give you an example. Okay so have you ever had a strong feeling or intuition about something with little to no external evidence to the point where you constantly have to doubt your inner voice?

There's a reason for that, either you're picking up on something vibrationally, or you may even see social cues that are so fleeting and undercover that you have no proof.

I think people doubt themselves more than they trust themselves. Maybe if we listened to our inner voice we would understand why our gut is recognizing what our mindset won't.

When you can quiet the ego you are able to hear and utilize what the mind and body is keeping track of.

Sometimes when you stay alone and recenter/ reground with your emotions you can focus better. If you spend too much time around unsavory energies or unaligned energies you will begin to become that which you surround yourself with.

People tend to hold onto the attachments that keep them stuck in the same situations. It becomes hard to break free of a specific perspective or attitude because you begin to get comfortable in that cramped thought process.

Why do we do this? When we know ultimately we can't reach our goals with this lazy or lack mindset.

You will never have what you're not willing to risk to fight for.

You will never know what you're willing to fight for if you don't live.

We must step into the fear of our doubt, the loneliness of our emptiness.

We are both nothing and everything all at once. That's what makes our failures and our triumphs so detrimental to our legacy.

There's no need so continue the charade of worrying and wondering what the outcome is going to be. We mourn exposure before we step into the spotlight. We tremble at the thought of being less treasured or important than the next person.

And in all that pride and selfish projection we avoid connection.

We avoid shame and pain and guilt but we also struggle to find any sense of value in our life due to the lack of experience.

I've been in so many situations where I believed what others told me instead of staying focused on my internal compass. It always lead to wondering why I hadn't just trusted myself in the first place.

Why would you feel compelled to ignore what you already know to be true? Intuition can come in the form of a strong thought that overwhelms your subconscious. It can come in the form of sudden sensations or emotional feelings. It can come in the form of a strong and lingering need or want. It can come in the form of an action or motion to carry out a task.

You are either going to stay in the same cycle of ignoring these clues or you are going to change your life by trusting yourself before you ask others.

Wouldn't you know what's best for you at the end of the day in a perfect world? Shouldn't you be able to rely on yourself if nobody else was around?

Sometimes people who test us are not understanding where we're coming from or why we feel the way we do. Maybe they just want to control or affect your life in some way. There's numerous reasons why people would want to take what you have or change the trajectory or your life.

Stay aware, stay true, and stay real. Be strong in your conviction and humble in your desires. Be bold in your actions and loving in your rejections.

You are what you believe, and you trust what you can count on.

So don't deny your greatest intuitive dreams, hopes, and feelings.

It's who you are meant to become.

#intuition #intuitive #ego #doubt #trust #thirdeye #higherself #highpriestess

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ace-la · 11 months

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Integral courage ( when a broken heart knows it's worth)

My silence doesn't feel golden. It haunts me. Makes me feel uneasy. Letting it mislead me. Gagged and bound from the words and things that would grant me my freedom, my peace, my sanity... But it is, bits and pieces of pain that hurts me randomly. That disappointment, heartbreak, failure, forgetfulness, lack of confidence, these things are not the best brand of me... Sitting here thinking... why people always say they can't stand me??.. when I really need them to understand me... But instead running with the idea of me being... useless, lazy, unemployed, inmature. The person who can't think for themself or deal with their own problems. But yet I always find ways to solve them.... solve for the better and use a wise decision without hesitation... You sit here and think I'm a fool.. but I make those moves that makes me survive and thrive.. Being the best that I can be. Givng you the best of me... Yet, it ain't my best..... I know what my best is... I know what I can achieve... I have went to the highest heights. Climbed the mountains that you've never seen. Done the things that you never dared to dream... Yet you tell me that I ain't the one??... You don't know what I had to bear and what I've had to hide. The hills that I've tried and had to climb. The people the still see me as a burden that they have to hide. So why can't you see what everybody sees??... The problems that you hide inside. The pride that makes you confide in the wrong sides... To choose the wrong decisions,make the wrong steps in passing guides that you take. Its not easy trying to love in difficulty, indifference, unwillingness, rebellion and ignorance.... It creates selfishness, pride, ego, boastful narcissism, anxiety, depression, aggressive regression. Staying stagnant in a state of mind of thinking you are okay and things are going good..... Living in a fantasy of "I still have time" "I'm still young" "I'm doin me". Not knowing that your time is running out and slip it away so easily... I can't be that... I won't let that way of thinking drain me to not move forward and be the best that I can be with: wisdom, knowledge, empathy with a open mind, selfless, assertive progress... Granting access to serenity,booming into a righteous confident beautiful minded complex, balanced individual with limitless opportunity and blessings to share and grow. I watch as everyday around me. My character, presents, essence, vibe, the beautiful mind, spirit who can be wonderfully kind. Is being taken for granted. Do you not know I am a rare thing to find?????... I'm always imitating. but no one that you ever put in front of me will never duplicate the things that you know that make me great, And I'm just saying... This ain't overconfidence. I'm just asking you to name somebody truly like me?? I'll wait....

Make no mistake. A vibe can be great. but a person who makes an impacted on your life in your darkest moments. To pull you up from the depth of despair is a memory that you should always keep safe. Not someone you think that can entertain you for a few hours in the day. No judgment, if that's the way you want to stay. its no wonder why your life can't get underway. Eat,drink, sleep, watch movies repeat. Fuck your life away. when you could be meet, greet, travel, through spring, winter, fall,summer and discover our life beyond the four walls with a bed that only worth leaving stains on because the only thing its good for is for you to bang on with the multiple skanks, skeezers chicken heads, hoes in every area code that you can hang on to..... "Friends" or "BOOs" I guess that's what they called...

It just Me,Myself,& I with my thoughts, dreams, and goals to bring progress and success. Leaving the stress behind and let all hard work, dedication, plus patience, manifest and created motivation. Give my creativity life and longevity restoration.

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secretlyshadowymoon · 2 years

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Asteroids - Syclla (155) and Charybdis (388)

Story time (because I love them) :

Syclla and Charybdis are two monsters that were portrayed in Homer's legendary word Odyssey. Scylla was a six headed sea monster while Charybdis was a sea monster with a huge mouth that created whirlpools.

SCYLLA:

CHARYBDIS:

Both of them were immortal monsters. In the story, Odysseus had to make a choice between the two. Syclla, with her 6 heads, could swallow 6 of Odysseus's crew members while Charybdis could create whirlpools that swallow his entire ship. Odysseus was stuck between choosing Scylla or Charybdis.

The term "between Syclla and Charybdis" basically means to choose between lesser of the evils.

The sign and house you have your Syclla and Charybdis in might be something that you could have trouble choosing between. You might be having problems in each of the situation but you have trouble deciding which one is 'lesser' in terms of bad outcomes.

Note: This is read as choosing between the two. If you have trouble on how to read it, I have provided an example here in my "Astrology Observations From My Natal Chart" post.

Btw in the story, Charybdis was way worse than Scylla, so you can read it like that too. Odysseus at the end chose Scylla over Charybdis.

Scylla and Charybdis in the Signs could indicate the negative traits of that particular sign you carry while Scylla and Charybdis in the houses could indicate the themes of the house you have trouble with.

Scylla and Charybdis in the Signs:

Aries:

Has impulsive tendencies and a need to save everyone. Very bold and aggressive way of handling things. Bossy tendencies and very competitive nature. Has war mind about everything. Might have Narcistic tendencies.

Taurus:

Very Stubborn nature. Has trouble adapting with change. Could place unhealthy meaning over materialistic things. Could be lazy and would want a easy way with everything. Might be stuck too much in their comfort space.

Gemini:

Has trouble sticking to one idea at a time. Manipulative tendencies. Could be double faced and inconsistent. Might be childish when they have to mature. Can be really superficial and have back stabbing tendencies sometimes.

Cancer:

Takes everything emotionally. Can be too protective of things. Very Moody. Could have Victim mentality. Could be a huge pessimist and be very clingy towards people. Could nag a lot. Have a hard time saying No.

Leo:

Fragile ego. Might be selfish and have trouble accepting their flaws and mistakes. Could be very self centered and have attention seeking behavior. Puts their pride over anything else and have a fluctuating self esteem.

Virgo:

Very critical of themselves and others. Prone to overthinking things and easily becoming paranoid over small things. Very picky with things and people. Very high standards which cause constant worry for them.

Libra:

Could be huge hypocrites. They also tend to be judgemental. Has a "better than everyone" attitude. Has trouble accepting their self-worth and bases it on what other people think of them. Could have trouble taking responsibility.

Scorpio:

Possessive and very vengeful. Can hold grudges for too long. Might be dominant in relationships and have a hard time understanding the other person's point of view. Have a hard time trusting people.

Sagittarius:

Indulgent behavior. Could be prone to overdoing things. Very flighty and could have commitment issues. Could find themselves attached to the wrong kind of people. Overconfident and reckless. Promise more than they can give.

Capricorn:

Might be emotionally cold. Pessimistic attitude. Could be ruthless. Obsessed with power and would do anything to get it. Very inflexible and can have trouble understanding others. Unforgiving and picky attitude.

Aquarius:

Can act emotionally very indifferent. Could lack empathy. Very absent minded and could rebel for no reason. Can be fixated on being unpredictable and this could cause a lot of pain for their loved ones. Hard to understand.

Pisces:

Might be very gullible. Very sensitive and could be prone to not taking responsibilities. Could get demotivated easily. Prone to taking people's advices too much. Escapist tendencies. Have trouble asserting boundaries.

As for the houses you have Scylla and Charybdis in, you can just google the themes of the house or refer to this nice post about houses.

Remember to asses this as CHOOSING BETWEEN the two. If you have any doubts interpreting your asteroid placements, I'll try my best to help you with it.

#astrology #astrology observations #asteroids #asteroid #asteroid astrology #scylla #charybdis #scylla and charybdis #secretlyshadowymoon

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

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Flashlight

Author's note: Wasn't episode 8 just lovely? I just couldn't get this out of my head, they're becoming so dependent on each other. Be still my beating heart. They're reminding me of my MoonMun couple so much and I think that explains my obsession and the amount of fics I've written thus far lol.

Summary: Just for tonight he'll be selfish.

"Are you okay now? Is there someone there?" He moves towards the dark alley that she came bolting from looking as frightened as he's ever seen her. He feels his muscles coil ready to protect her by any means possible. But before he can move she's tightening her hold on him, clinging to him now he can feel her warmth all around him like a blanket.

"No! Don't leave me." Hearing that scared plea causes a blurry memory to resurface in his mind, he can almost feel the words swimming in his mind but the memory is foggy and it evaporates as quickly as it formed.

Strange.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going anywhere. Let's go inside." He starts to maneuver her toward her house at first she moves with him but then she stills, letting out a small sound of recollection.

"My phone." She whispers into his chest, they are pressed so closely he can feel her heartbeat still pounding through her chest into his. He strokes her back in a lazy soothing manner, shocked when she melts into his embrace further. Nothing is making sense at this moment but he doesn't care enough to stop, this.

"What about your phone?" He redirects the conversation and she continues, "I dropped it in there when I ran away."

"Okay. I'll go get it, wait here." He starts to gently untangle her hands from his flannel but she lets out a whine, gripping his shirt even stronger and moving with him.

"I'll---let's go together."

She's trembling now, positively shaking in her spot and he wants to argue with her to just go inside and wait for him but her earlier plea echoes in his ears. He can't leave her alone not right now, so he steps forward feeling her move with him, one step after another until he sees the rectangular object on the ground.

"I'm going to bend down to get it." He can feel her shifting beside him looking around wildly but thankfully no ominous figure appears, they are alone.

After a moment she nods, letting go enough for him to bend and retrieve the device and he checks the screen noting happily that it's not damaged but when he touches the screen it doesn't turn on so he tries again.

"It's dead. I forgot to charge it." She admits, taking the phone from his grasp.

He turns to her with a sharp stare, "You stayed out late after what happened and didn't charge your phone? Are you that fearless?" He chides, frustrated with her lack of awareness and disregard for her safety. If anything ever happened to her he would.... He would.......

"It wasn't on purpose. I didn't realize. I know it was irresponsible."

It's not a response he's expecting, the Hye Jin he knows would argue back, hardly taking shit from him ergo her meek uncharacteristic reply makes him feel worst, he shouldn't be blaming her especially after seeing first-hand how scared she is.

"Let's go inside now, it's cold and you're shaking." They both know the temperature has very little to do with her tremors but she doesn't disagree and carelessly he enters the code when they reach the door, ignoring the jolt in his chest that erupts as he enters his own birthday and the door clicks open. He thought she would have changed it by now.

He's grateful she hasn't.

They both take off their shoes, standing side by side now her arm around his waist and his around her shoulder. It's a small space and they can barely move but they work around it, reluctant to release each other.

"Thank you." Her voice is barely above a whisper, he thinks that he almost imagined it. He had an excuse prepared this time, he was merely patrolling and happened to pass her house. That was the lie he intended to go with, but something in her voice stops him from saying those deceitful words. He's tired of hiding and making up excuses for being around her.

"You're welcome. Here sit down, I'll make you some tea." Thoughtlessly he moves towards the kitchen, taking two steps until he can't move anymore. She's holding onto him tightly, he turns around looking at her small closed fists and then her trembling pretty face.

With a soft sigh, he takes her hand rubbing a thumb across the smooth skin.

"Just come with me." Immediately she steps forward pressing into his back, he tries to calm his heart taking the teapot and filling it with water, then he opens the cabinet retrieving a mug and setting it aside.

"I like honey. And a squeeze of lemon." He smiles at her soft demands.

Now that sounds more like his dentist. The bottle of honey is in her top cabinet and he grabs a fresh lemon from the fridge cutting it in half.

They stand silently as the water boils and he finally feels his anger boiling away as well. Angry that he was almost too late and that his town isn't safe anymore, angry that someone was able to shake this immoveable woman.

The shrill ringing of the teapot breaks him from his impasse, on autopilot he pours the water on the tea bag, then squeezes the honey in the steaming water, "I like a lot of honey." She's attached to his back her voice vibrating straight through him, he freezes when she wraps her arms around his waist. Her closeness is messing with his mind, but he tries to finish his job and get them on the couch maybe with some distance between them.

For his sanity.

"Let's go sit down." He grabs both mugs walking over to her couch, placing her cup on the far right and taking a seat on the far left putting a sea of distance between them. But immediately she sits down right next to him, leaving no space between them she might as well be in his lap. He squirms in place, standing up to get some reprieve but she grabs his hand staring up at him.

"Where are you going?" Fear bleeds into her voice and he lets go of his hesitations, tonight is not about him.

Leaning over he grabs her cup, tugging it closer.

"Nowhere, I'm not going anywhere. Drink your tea."

She blinks slowly at him before nodding and bringing the warm beverage to her lips. Her hum of satisfaction warms him all the way down to his toes.

"It's good. You really are good at everything." He preens at the compliment, thinking of all the times this week he wasn't needed or was cast aside for Director Ji. He's been swallowing his jealousy all week. So her words fill a hollow space in his chest.

He watches her drink the entire cup, ignoring his own growing cold on the table.

"I need to charge my phone." She suddenly says and he stares before nodding, taking the opportunity to drink his lukewarm tea. But then he notices that she's not moving despite having the phone and charging in her hand.

"What's wrong?" He raises an eyebrow in confusion.

She looks embarrassed now, unable to meet his eyes and he's flabbergasted at her reaction.

"Come with me?" He stares at her, feeling the same pride bloom as when she sat next to him instead of her sunbae, she's leaning on him.

He spots an outlet across the room, "Okay let's go there." She looks relieved at his lack of teasing, together they walk over to the outlet and she bends to plug in the charger and puts the phone on the ground.

In seconds the phone comes to life and he feels a sharp pain in his chest as a barrage of messages light up her phone, the majority from one person. When she clicks to open the message he instinctively looks away, not wanting to witness their conversation.

"He messaged so much." Her voice is filled with awe and childishly he moves away. He'd almost forgotten that she didn't actually need him. He was just conveniently there.

"I should go now. You're safe. Make sure to come home earlier from now on, maybe ask him to walk you home." It hurts to utter those words but it's easier than being replaced later, it's okay if he's the one that pushes her away first. "I'll see myself out."

He stands ready to leave, pointedly not looking back before he changes his mind and stays forever.

She was just scared, tonight didn't mean anything.

He grabs his fallen bagpack thrusting it on his shoulder, hopping into his boots all ready to head out. But it's unusually quiet, the silence is so deafening that he can't stop himself from looking back over at her. It's a mistake, a huge one at that. The phone has fallen from her hands, abandoned to the side and she's looking at him with the most desolate stare he's ever seen, moisture pooling in her huge round eyes.

"What's wrong? Why are you cry--"

"You said you wouldn't leave me. Why are you changing your mind? What if someone is still there? What am I supposed to do without yo--u?" Her voice cracks on the last word and his heart follows, she needs him. Nobody else has this week but here she is breaking down because he tried to leave, she needs him.

His decision is made for him in that moment.

As soon as he's close enough to touch she's clinging to him once again, he only absently realizes that she's trying to lead them to her bedroom but even he's not saintly enough for that so he stops her.

"Let's go to the couch. You'll feel more comfortable."

She doesn't question him seemingly happy to follow his lead.

The couch is comfy but definitely not intended for two grown adults, leaning over the arm rest he tries to get situated and once he stops moving she's snuggling into his side curling around him like a cat.

"Whenever I was scared, my mom used to stroke my hair."

He stares at the wall in front of them, wondering if she's aware of just how many lines they're crossing tonight- no catapulting over. But he's tired of second guessing himself so he stops thinking and just listens, bringing the hand that is curled on her shoulder up to her head before dragging his palm down her soft hair, gulping when she moans at the ministrations.

Her breathing starts to deepen and he feels her body losing its tension, she's falling asleep and once she succumbs he can finally make his escape, that's his plan. But he doesn't expect her to start stroking him too, her hand delicate on his chest.

"You've worked hard. Stopping a scammer and saving me all while recovering from a cold."

It's nothing. It's what he's supposed to do.

But it feels so good to hear those words, words that he hardly heard growing up.

"Go to sleep." He says instead of thank you, instead of kissing her like he's wanted to since he saw her outside and she ran straight into his heart.

It's a miracle but she listens to him, drifting to sleep her head heavy on his chest and he knows that he should wait a few minutes and try to extract himself but he can't, not tonight. Just for tonight he'll be selfish.

"You're making me want all sorts of things." He whispers to her sleeping face, terrified of her and all that she makes him feel. Feeling emboldened by their almost kiss initiated by her, he pushes her hair behind her ear taking a second to really looking at her face. She really is that beautiful. It doesn't seem fair. Leaning down he presses a soft kiss to her forehead, her skin is sleep warm and perfectly smooth. He presses a second one shamelessly. Her lips are right there and heavens knows that he's tempted but he can't take advantage, can't bring himself to do anything else. That's enough.

He doesn't know when he fell asleep but he wakes up to Mi-seon throwing a blanket over them, he keeps his eyes tightly shut mentally berating himself for that leaving when he had a chance.

"Just friends my ass. Just admit that you like him, look at the way you're clinging to him."

Somehow they traversed further down the couch in their sleep, both laying horizontal now with her body on top on his and her head tucked under his chin.

"I've never seen her sleep so peacefully though. She looks so young."

He tries not to think too deeply into what that might mean, listening to the retreating footsteps of her roommate and feeling himself losing the battle with sleep. She'll probably be embarrassed to find them this way tomorrow but that's a hurdle for another day.

Just for tonight I'll hold her. Until I'm not allowed to hold her anymore.

#hometown cha cha cha #another episode coda #hong du shik #yoon hye jin #they are taking over all my brain activity #another fluffy drabble #this episode broke me

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j-amespotter · 3 years

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★ the last great american dynasty - s. b.

“i had a marvelous time ruining everything.”

Pairing: Sirius Black x Muggle-born!Reader

x. x. x.

Summary: A one-shot diving into Sirius’s complicated relationship with Grimmauld Place and where the Muggle-born he falls for fits in.

Genre/Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, alcohol, language, mentions of death & war

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: so.. this is more of a character study on sirius & his dynamic with his family – i know this song is meant to be about a woman but it also screams sirius to me. i’m a sucker for romance so it’s a reader-insert. fun fact, i was almost done writing this when i realized i wanted it to be a wolfstar fic, but i was too lazy to change it, so just putting that out as a concept lol. let me know what you think & if you’d like me to tag you in future works!!

masterlist

When Sirius first showed signs of his rebellious nature, Walburga wasn’t worried. After all, many children were incapable of sitting still in large gatherings, mouthing off to their parents, or incessantly teasing their younger siblings. “He will be kept in good company. He will learn,” Walburga would say to her husband. He often exasperated her, but there was no denying her immense pride. Despite his antics, even at a young age, Sirius displayed impressive magical ability and had a commanding presence – excellent qualities for the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

She worried only a little when he preferred to spend time with Andromeda, who was clearly becoming disillusioned with their family values, and Alphard, who Walburga believed was beginning to get a little too soft. Still, the Blacks were not raving lunatics. They were traditionalists, committed to upholding the high standards of Wizarding society. Sirius would not defy them, not when the weight of their bloodline rested on his shoulders, not when Regulus would never be able to stomach such responsibility.

On his first night at Hogwarts, Sirius didn't write home. It wasn’t until the morning after that Narcissa delivered the dreadful news to her mother. Walburga’s sister-in-law relished discussing this most recent embarrassment, as the family’s attention was now off her daughter’s courtship of a mudblood. Young Sirius, their direct heir, was sorted into the House of Muggle-lovers and blood traitors, into the House of Godric Gryffindor.

Blown apart by this development, Walburga turned to her younger son. She had no intention of repeating her mistakes and resolved to train him for the responsibility that should have belonged to her eldest. That way, if she was unable to correct Sirius’s behavior, she had back-up. Her legacy was secure.

During every subsequent holiday, she noticed that the damage was getting more-and-more irreversible. Sirius unabashedly consorted with infamous blood traitors and pathetic half-bloods. He seemed to dread seeing his family as much as she dreaded seeing how much of him she had lost. She tried; no one could say she didn’t. But she was too stern with him. He had inherited his flexibility, or lack thereof, from her. She pushed him too far away. Soon, he stopped returning home for Christmas. When he was sixteen, she spat at him as he closed the door to Number 12 Grimmauld Place one last time, without sparing her a final glance.

He never expected he would have to return. Offering up the property to the Order seemed like a good idea at the time – he hardly put any thought into it. That was how he made most of his decisions. His track record certainly proved so. When Remus didn’t have anywhere to stay, and neither did the newly-reformed Order of the Phoenix, Sirius knew that his family estate in London was not just their most ideal option, but also the only one they had.

He managed to enter undetected in his Animagus form with Remus. He had to hand it to fate – there were no extra security measures to keep him out. It was as if she anticipated his arrival. Swallowing, he absorbed his surroundings. Despite the eerie silence and decomposing furniture, it looked like an image straight from his memory. Sirius suddenly felt sixteen again.

What he did not expect to see, however, was a currently-sleeping life-sized portrait of Walburga Black in the hallway. Though now in his human form, Sirius growled inadvertently. She knew. She always knew that he would come back. She wanted to be there when he did. Unbelievable, he thought to himself.

Aware of Remus’s wary gaze on him, Sirius walked forward and began pulling on the frame. “Get off, you hag! Remus, help me get this off!”

Remus went to join his old friend in what seemed like a fruitless mission in his mind but came to an abrupt halt when the portrait, disturbed by her son’s grunts, awoke in a flash of fury. “Filth! Scum! Abomination of my flesh! You are no son of mine,” portrait-Walburga hissed.

“Shut up, just shut up!” He had not heard her voice since he was near a Dementor, reliving the worst of his teenage years. The visual made it much, much worse.

“Permanent Sticking Charm, it seems…” Remus said to appease his friend, pulling the withering velvet curtains over its towering frame with all his strength.

“This is torture,” sighed Sirius. “Maybe we can find another place.”

Remus refused to meet his eye. “For now, it is all we have, Sirius. If it was going to be a problem, you should not have offered it to Professor Dumbledore.”

Sirius frowned. “It’s all I’m able to do this time around. It’s not like I can go around trailing Death Eaters and infiltrating the Ministry with everyone else.”

“Hopefully, it’s only temporary,” assured Remus, though he was equally as uncertain about Sirius’s fate as a fugitive. “Try not to let this place get into your head, okay?”

Sirius Black was never good at keeping promises. He had three-and-a-half decades of evidence to back that up. In the weeks following, the Order settled in, consisting of many highly competent Aurors, half-a-dozen Weasleys, and an ex-Death Eater he could do without seeing. Sirius found himself never too far from alcohol, itching for more access. He longed to see Harry and to get away from his wretched house-elf, along with the constant, stinging reminder of his mother's existence.

But there was something else inside of him, something he couldn’t describe. It was an emotion that was egging him on. He felt it inside of him every time Kreacher muttered complaints about wandering red-headed blood traitor brats. It swirled in his stomach when his mother shouted scathing insults at the clumsy half-blood and filthy half-breed that took temporary refuge in the former pure-blood paradise.

Then she came.

She was new. She worked at the Ministry; many of his houseguests were incredibly fond of her. He recognized the innocence in her eyes. It was the same innocence that he had when he first joined the Order seventeen years earlier. It was the same innocence that differentiated every new member from every returning one – they had yet to see tragedy in its fullest form.

“Hello,” she greeted. She seemed strangely unperturbed by the fact that she was in the presence of an alleged mass murderer. “I’m (Y/N). I’ve been told this is your house. Thank you for playing host.”

“My pleasure,” responded Sirius. Involuntarily, he reached for her hand and kissed it. Suddenly, he became painfully aware of his hollowing cheeks, untamed hair, and liquor-infused breath.

She flushed slightly at the gesture. Black family habits die hard. Just because he chose to refrain from practicing them did not mean he had forgotten, nor did it mean that he wasn’t any good at them.

Walburga Black’s portrait watched her son fall in love with her. Sirius watched her watch him. There was no telling how she would react. Regulus was dead – it was up to him to preserve their family’s name and purity.

(Y/N) was witty and flirty and incredibly intelligent. He found himself feeling a decade younger as he enjoyed their banter and her overall easiness. Before long, she kissed him in his dimly-lit pantry, and he was too selfish to stop her. They would kiss in every corner of the house, hardly caring that anyone was watching, ignoring the ghosts living within the walls. For Sirius, (Y/N) was his greatest act of defiance. She was born to non-magic parents. As narrated by a disgruntled Kreacher to his now-helpless mistress, she was nothing but a “filthy mudblood.”

One night, weeks after the children departed for Hogwarts and the house was, as on most days, empty, he caught her staring at the Black family tapestry. Without making a sound, he inched behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hello, beautiful,” he whispered, pressing a kiss on her shoulder. “Sickle for your thoughts?”

She leaned into him. As the days went on, she would tire easily. Still, she found happiness in Sirius as he did with her, and they both were old enough to know to reach for it in any capacity they got. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid. Let’s get to bed.”

“As much as I’m a fan of that idea,” he started with a smirk, “you look upset. Is it work? Fudge?”

“No, nothing like that.” Her fingers traced his blasted name on the wall. She looked thoughtful. “I’ve just… noticed something about you.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“The way you look at your mother.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s no secret that I hate her. I hope that’s not off-putting. You’ve seen what she’s like – it was worse when she was alive. I promise I’m a gentleman in general circumstances… for the most part,” he added cheekily.

She smiled tightly. “No, I get it. It must be terrible for you, being back here.”

“It is,” he affirmed. “I’ve got you, though. You make me happier than anything, love.”

“That’s the thing,” she uttered as if it pained her. Sirius could stare at her fiery expression for days on end. To be on the receiving end was strange. “I can’t help but think that you’re only in love with me to spite her. Like your feelings aren’t love, they’re just a culmination of your hatred for her.”

It took Sirius an eternity to process what she just said. Realizing that he was not going to say anything, she continued. “Believe me, I know you hate it here. But at the same time, you look so… satisfied. You’re hosting a bunch of blood traitors, half-bloods, and a werewolf in this place that was once the pinnacle of blood purity. You’re providing a haven against the bloody Dark Lord. And worst of all, you’re with a mudblood.”

“Don’t call yourself that,” interrupted Sirius harshly.

“It’s the truth. If you weren’t in this position, would we even be together?”

“Of course,” said Sirius. To answer this question, he didn’t even have to think. “I love you because you’re you. You’re beautiful and smart and make me laugh until my stomach hurts. You’re so good with Harry and you can put anyone in their place. You make me feel new again… God, that’s fucking sappy, but it’s true. I indeed hate this place and I hate her but… but if I let her dictate my choices, even when she’s bloody dead, then she’s won. I don’t want her to win. If I was only with you for your blood status, then I would be no different from my mother.”

She stared up at him, her eyes betraying a wave of emotions. She reached up to kiss him, tangling her fingers in his hair. “Thank you for saying all of that. Just hold on for a little while, alright? Soon, we’ll be out of here. We can have our own house – you, me, and Harry.”

He smiled at her sadly. It seemed too unreachable of a goal to him at the moment. “By the beach?” “Wherever you’d like,” she answered, leading him to his bedroom, his only sanctuary in the horrible house.

As they made their way towards the stairs, Sirius glanced at the tapestry over his shoulder, at the seven generations of Blacks behind him. He gently squeezed (Y/N)’s hand. For the first time in his entire life, he felt the weight of carrying his name lift off him. He’d done his part to corrupt his bloodline. It was time for Sirius to focus on himself in a way that the shadows of his past never allowed him to, even in his schoolboy days with James. Being a Black was a part of who he was, and even a disowned Black deserved his long-overdue happiness.

Tagging: @strawberriesonsummer

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minahoeshi · 3 years

Text

to be yours and you, mine.

Kuroo Tetsurō x reader | just pure angst. so much angst.

warning: major character death

prelude: the end lets its presence be known before it comes around. At times, that sense of awareness feels like a blessing. But with you and Tetsurou, the reminder of what soon will come can only hurt you even further. Because mankind has never been powerful enough to do anything against so many things. We have always been weak in the face of nature. especially against the passage of time and all the things it keeps taking from us.

It's almost odd how the world changed when you realised what the moments of silence has reduced your relationship into. How, when you finally acknowledged the fact that perhaps the end of a prolonged short story is nearer than you'd rather believe, a filter seemed to slip off of the camera, along with the vibrance you never realised was raised too high. It's not like the frames suddenly are less colourful. It's just that the tinges of blue in the shadows and highlights have made themselves more obvious, like a sign waiting for you to conclude things yourself.

Maybe it's because it's the new years and new beginnings just seem so scary. Or maybe it's the ice in the air, or the meteorologist on the television announcing that it's 7°C that morning that makes the lack of warmth between you and him more unbearable. But you wake up to the silence of the world, not even the birds are around to fuss above your house. To the empty space beside you, a reminder of his message three days ago.

Tetsu(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

I'm staying with my family this new year. Okaa-san thinks I need to spend 'the end of the year and the beginning of a new one with those that made such days possible for me'. You know, her usual line to remind me of their importance. Miss you.

Let's video call on new year's eve, yeah?

received 9:26

He did call you last night. Not the video call he promised, but a voice call on Line. But you didn't answer. If he asked why, you would've told him you were with your friends in a shrine celebrating new years with prayers for a better future for one another, drinking sake, and walking the streets of Shibuya with your girls and gays and the one guy friend that everyone wonders how he ended up in the group.

It didn't hurt that he only called you once and never tried again. It didn't hurt that he didn't ask why. But fuck was it painful to hear the voicemail.

"Happy new year, Y/N san. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be there with you, I promise. I love you. So much."

It's scary and painful how his voice seemed to waver. How it was shaky and devoid of his usual timbre, a ghost of what once was a joking and rarely serious tone that took light of most situations. His voice that you loved so much, absent because maybe he knew too.

Maybe he was aware that no saving can be done to bring forth the past as if it was the present. To rebuild the broken and to remind you both of what you had all these years. To you and him, the signs couldn't be more obvious. When the world crumbles, you don't save it. You kiss it goodbye and go on to search for a new one. One that won't break with you in it. (but you know you won't search. you never do.)

You spend the next hours awake. The consciousness, unwanted. You want so much to just fall down as if the darkness can just swallow you and you'd be happier in it. In silence, you might feel better.

But you can't help the way your brain works. You bask in the reminiscing, the present disappearing before you until it's the past that owns you.

It's not the memories that grabs hold of you but him in his entirety. You cry because you will miss all that he is. The lazy tone he uses when he feels comfortable beside you on the couch. The humour he finds in everything, even in chemistry which is crazy because nothing about chemistry is comical. The messy hair he refuses to tame because he loses his identity, a piece of him, his pride and legacy when his hair looks neat. You'll miss his hand on your back when you're walking outdoors, his iced coffee with a secret ingredient that is probably not really a secret, his hugs when you feel yourself falling in the deep hole of misery, his excitement when he speaks of volleyball, his pride when he talks about his achievements, his— all of him. You'll miss all of him. Too much.

Kuroo spends the car ride thinking of you. Reminding himself to remind you of all that you must remember. To hold your hand tight for as long as he can until he can't.

He reminds himself of the things he love so much about you. Of your unequaled patience and trust in him. Of your ability to strip him of all his bad so that he can only see his good. Of your laughter when he speaks of his day as comically as possible. Of the mornings he wakes up beside you. Of your— everything. All that you are.

Because as the car nears your house, he feels himself crumble. Because he just knows what is about to come. So he must keep in him all your good and bad to be grounded. To stay long enough.

Kuroo stays in the car and stared at the door. The door that opens slowly and reveals you in your scarf and windbreaker. Beautiful. You in all your tear-stained glory, your nose and ears red. He stares as you step into the snow and approach him. He stares as you knock on the window.

And so he opens the door.

You break again the moment you see him. You wish to be strong for him. He doesn't deserve your sadness and weakness but he told you to let yourself be. That your tears are better seen than hidden. Because it helps him and you know how you are feeling. So that he doesn't have to walk around eggshells because you both expose all your vulnerability to one another.

So you fall on his knees. You dont wait for him to get out. You cry on his lap and you know he cried with you. You fall apart together. The same way you built each other to be whoever you two are today, you both break each other.

You say, Testu. Tetsu Tetsu Tetsu Tetsu. He says it's fine, he's fine. He leans and kisses your head and you cry more the same way he does as he hugs you from above. I'm sorry, you say. I should've answered your call, you say.

But I was scared. I was too scared.

And you both know. You fear the same thing. Because as Kuroo is placed on his wheelchair with your help and Kenma's who has been with you two since the very beginning. He leaves both of you because he knows that's what's best. He gives Kuroo a hug before he drives away.

He's bone-thin. Dark bags under his eyes, cheekbones too visible, lips too pale— tired. He looked more tired than three days ago, before he suddenly disappeared that day and you felt too much pain because was he gonna leave you that way? Was he not gonna be with you until the very last of everything?

You were thankful he texted you that night. Because you would've gone crazy with all your thoughts. You understood why he had to go home. His family needed him and he needed them. You couldn't be selfish.

That night, you spend hours on your bed with Kuroo. He didn't need the morphine, he tells you. He's okay. But his breathing is ragged and he's sweating. He can't move without hurting. But you don't give him painkillers because he told you so. So instead, you kiss him. You kiss him and tell him you love him. You tell him you were happiest with him. He doesn't talk much. But the last he said before you both slept was, "I love you too. More than anything and everything. I love you."

The next morning, you cry harder. This time, all by yourself. Tetsutetsutetsutetsutetsutetsu. He never responds.

You cry harder.

But at the very least, he was still holding your hand.

Tetsu(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Science is yet to prove the existence of reincarnation so instead of pinning everything on it, I'd rather appreciate this one life I spent loving you. Because there's no other way for me to have lived than to be yours and you mine. This one life is enough for the universe to understand that we are eternity, you and me. Forever.

I love you. I know you love me too.

2:09 am

You

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

5:27 am

Okaa-san - mother

Tetsu - nickname for Kuroo from his first name, Tetsuro. In Japan, cute nicknames are more common than endearments like honey or love.

Shibuya - a city or special ward in the prefecture, Tokyo.

Sake - Japanese alcohol made of rice and other ingredients.

Line - most used messaging app in Japan.

Thanks for reading!

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu fic #haikyu x reader #haikyuu angst #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo #kuroo imagine #kuroo reader insert #kuroo fanfic #kuroo fic #kuroo x reader #kuroo angst #nekoma

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cassianus · 3 years

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Weep over your sin: it is a spiritual ailment; it is death to your immortal soul; it deserves ceaseless, unending weeping and crying; let all tears flow for it, and sighing come forth without ceasing from the depths of your heart.

In profound humility I weep for all my sins, voluntary and involuntary, conscious and unconscious, covert and overt, great and little, committed by word and deed, in thought and intention, day and night, at every hour and minute of my life.

I weep over my pride and my ambition, my self love and my boastfulness; I weep over my fits of anger, irritation, excessive shouting, swearing, quarreling and cursing;

I weep for having criticized, censured, gossiped, slandered, and defamed, for my wrath, enmity, hatred, envy, jealousy, vengeance and rancor;

I weep over my indulgences in lust, impure thoughts and evil inclinations; covetousness, gluttony, drunkenness, and sloth;

I weep for having talked idly, used foul language, blasphemed, derided, joked, ridiculed, mocked, enjoyed empty gaiety, singing, dancing and every pleasure to excess;

I weep over my self indulgence, cupidity, love of money and miserliness, unmercifulness and cruelty;

I weep over my laziness, indolence, negligence, love of comfort, weakness, idleness, absent-mindedness, irresponsibility, inattention, love of sleep, for hours spent in idle pursuits, and for my lack of concentration in prayer and in Church, for not observing fasts and not doing charitable works.

I weep over my lack of faith, my doubting, my perplexity, my coldness, my indifference, my weakness and unfeelingness in what concerns the Holy Orthodox Faith, and over all my foul, cunning and reviling thoughts;

I weep over my exaggerated sorrow and grief, depression and despair, and over sins committed willingly.

I weep, but what tears can I find for a worthy and fitting way to weep for all the actions of my ill fated life; for my immeasurable and profound worthlessness? How can I reveal and expose in all its nakedness each one of my sins, great and small, voluntary and involuntary, conscious and unconscious, overt and covert, every hour and minute of sin? When and where shall I begin my penitential lament that will bear fitting fruit? Perhaps soon I may have to face the last hour of my life; my soul will be painfully sundered from my sinful and vile body; I shall have to stand before terrible demons and radiant angels, who will reveal and torment me with my sins; and I, in fear and trembling, will be unprepared and unable to give them an answer; the sight and sound of wailing demons, their violent and bold desire to drag me into the bottomless pit of Hell will fill my soul with confusion and terror. And then the angels of God will lead my poor soul to stand before God 's fearful seat of judgment. How will I answer the Immortal King, or how will I dare, sinner that I am, to look upon My Judge? Woe is me! have no good answer to make, for I have spent all my life in indolence and sin, all my hours and minutes in vain thoughts, desires and yearnings!

And how many times have I taken the Name of God in vain!

How often, lightly and freely, at times even boldly, insolently and shamelessly have I slandered others in anger; offended, irritated, mocked them!

How often have I been proud and vainglorious and boasted of good qualities that I do not possess and of deeds that I have not done!

How many times have I lied, deceived, been cunning or flattered, or been insincere and deceptive; how often have I been angry, intolerant and mean!

How many times have I ridiculed the sins of my brother, caused him grief overtly and covertly, mocked or gloated over his misdeeds, his faults or his misfortunes; how many times have I been hostile to him, in anger, hatred or envy!

How often have I laughed stupidly, mocked and derided, spoke without weighing my words, ignorantly and senselessly, and uttered a numberless quantity of cutting, poisonous, insolent, frivolous, vulgar, coarse, brazen words!

How often, affected by beauty, have I fed my mind, my imagination and my heart with voluptuous sensations, and unnaturally satisfied the lusts of the flesh in fantasy! How often has my tongue uttered shameful, vulgar and blasphemous things about the desires of the flesh!

How often have I yearned for power and been gluttonous, satiating myself on delicacies, on tasty, varied and diverse foods and wines; because of intemperance and lack of self-control how often have I been filled past the point of satiety, lacked sobriety and been drunken, intemperate in food and drink, and broken the Holy Fasts!

How often, through selfishness, pride or false modesty, have I refused help and attention to those in need, been uncharitable, miserly, unsympathetic, mercenary and grasped at attention!

How often have I entered the House of God without fear and trembling, stood there in prayer, frivolous and absent-minded, and left it in the same spirit and disposition! And in prayer at home I have been just as cold and indifferent, praying little, lazily, and indolently, inattentively and impiously, and even completely omitting the appointed prayers!

And in general, how slothful I have been, weakened by indolence and inaction; how many hours of each day have I spent in sleep, how often have I enjoyed voluptuous thoughts in bed and defiled my flesh! How many hours have I spent in empty and futile pastimes and pleasures, in frivolous talk and speech, jokes and laughter, games and fun, and how much time have I wasted conclusively in chatter, and gossip, in criticizing others and reproaching them; how many hours have I spent in time-wasting and emptiness! What shall I answer to the Lord God for every hour and every minute of lost time? In truth, I have wasted my entire life in laziness.

How many times have I lost heart and despaired of my salvation and of God's mercy or through stupid habit, insensitivity, ignorance, insolence, shamelessness, and hardness sinned deliberately, willingly, in my right mind, in full awareness, in all goodwill, in both thought and intention, and in deed, and in this fashion trampled the blood of God 's covenant and crucified anew within myself the Son of God and cursed Him!

0 how terrible the punishment that I have drawn upon myself!

How is it that my eyes are not streaming with constant tears?.. If only my tears flowed from the cradle to the grave, at every hour and every minute of my tortured life! Who will now cool my head with water and fill the well of my tears and help me weep over my soul that I have cast into perdition?

My God, my God! Why hast Thou forsaken me? Be it unto me according to Thy will, 0 Lord! If Thou wouldst grant me light, be Thou blessed; if Thou wouldst grant me darkness, be Thou equally blessed. If Thou wouldst destroy me together with my lawlessness, glory to Thy righteous judgment; and if Thou wouldst not destroy me together with my lawlessness, glory to Thy boundless mercy!

St. Basil the Great

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watarigarasu · 4 years

Text

October 23rd – Monster

13 Days of Spooky Writing Event

Pairing: Thranduil x Reader

Word count: 1,896

Warnings: Big sad, much emotion.

Author’s note: I really love Thranduil, okay?

During many years of your lone journey through the Middle Earth, you have heard many words describing the King of Mirkwood. Some of them revealed the hidden fear of the Elvenking, some included fascination and some said that he did not even exist in the first place, that he was a made up story for children, just like his whole kingdom. However, there was one term you could not so quickly forget, the one engraved in your memory for some peculiar reason—the one you repeated to yourself while crossing the borders of Mirkwood, wary of what you might encounter.

The rumour that the Elvenking was a heartless monster.

You were familiar with the infamous stories on how he paid no mind to those in need, how little did their lives mean to him, how his egoistic nature caused him to fight for what he believed was right only, how selfish was his attitude and how he considered his kin as above everyone else. Perhaps you would eventually believe in them all if you did not know better than to listen every rumour you hear along the way. Words spread faster than a diseases, every next one changed a little by the mouth they were spoken from and so, you wondered how much of a truth they actually contained.

Contrary to what you imagined to see, the Elvenking did not resemble any kind of monster in the slightest. His grace and pride was undeniable, his beauty outstanding and his voice deeply serene. The weight of his gaze upon you seemed to be enough to crash you to the ground but instead of that, you were invited to the feast as a guest. A storyteller, the one who could share the most recent news about the world outside of the kingdom.

He did not act like a monster when he shared his people’s food and wine with you, neither did he act like one when he was listening to you talking, lazy sight carefully picking out every single detail of your appearance. Firen was the only way he addressed you endlessly, no matter how many opportunities you took to remind him your real name.

You have lost the track of time soon after arriving to Mirkwood, all days melting together like one, the kingdom surrounding you so magical that you forgot about all the evil creeping outside. There was no flesh eating creatures under the magnificent roof with countless waterfalls flowing down the halls. There was no fear between the ancient pages of the books you were eventually allowed to look at. There was no tears during the evening feasts in the forests. There was no pain in dancing all night long in the pale starlight.

There was only calmness filling your soul, the steady rhythm of your beating heart and the utter peace of your soul where apparently nothing bad could reach you. Walking in a dream, you found yourself falling in love with the world you did not belong to and to your surprising notice, you could experience all of it simply because the Elvenking—Thranduil, as you learned—allowed you to.

Simply because his heart was not as cold as the rumours claimed it to be.

“Tell me about your ancestors, firen,” he ordered on one particularly warm day, when the first, vivid green leaves were poking their tips out from the thin branches. It was an early morning, the fog still not fading in the sunlight and it was an accident that you stumbled upon each other—the Elvenking attending his usual morning stroll and you, still not going to sleep after a truly interesting lecture you managed to find in the library, written in a language you understood.

“About my family?” you wondered. “With all due respect, I’m not sure if I can interest you with this kind of story, My Lord. They are no royalty.”

“If I wanted to listen about royalty, I would simply take a look upon the letters my father left me.” His voice was haughty yet soft, like a fresh rime. “I was wondering what kind of people could beget a woman willing to travel alone through the foreign lands.”

“Are you thinking about lunatics or heroes?”

He did not smile at your little joke, but something in his expression changed. Perhaps your words did amuse him, which might be the reason why he apparently enjoyed your company, or maybe it was just the small bullfinch sitting on a nearby branch which caught his attention.

“I suppose we are to find out about that,” he barely whispered, not taking his gaze off the bird.

And so, you started talking, carefully choosing what to say next so you would not bore him with this not so exciting story. Living for as long as all Elves did, you would be surprised if he thought of any part of your speech as even remotely interesting. He has seen it all and much more, already, he has witnessed war, loss and love, he had an adult son and once a wife also. Your history, no matter how much could it mean to you, would soon be nothing but a blink of an eye for him, just as fleeting the seasons were.

You were a whisper on the wind, made to be heard by his ear and eventually fade out.

“Give me your hand.” The command caused you to stop talking in a middle of the sentence and look at the Elvenking confused. A quick motion of his arm caused an expensive robes to move gracefully before he showed what he expected from you. “Like that.”

You did as you were told, slowly outstretching your arm and only then noticing how the bullfinch tilted its head to the right and jumped few times on the branch before opening wings and swiftly landing at Thranduil’s open palm. It was a breath-taking view to observe, the trust of the small creature completely unexpected. You stood in the same position, listening as the Elvenking started talking, while gently stroking the bird’s head with his index finger.

“There is beauty in simplicity, something a race of Men often tends to forget about. Ironically, since they are the ones who should cherish it the most, the gentle passing of time. I find your admiration to save as many moments as possible as equally pointless and fascinating. To know that one day your whole existence will turn into ashes brings out the most primal instincts—but only the wise can focus on the beauty of a fleeting moment. A single memory.”

Slowly, he reached to you and you held your breath when the bird cautiously jumped from his hand onto yours, it’s tiny feet gently tickling your skin and the smile appearing on your lips.

“Not many of the race of Men can find a beauty in evanescence.” Thranduil continued, watching you staring at the bullfinch as if it was the first time in your whole life that you experienced such a moment. “It is a rare ability among those who do not feel the impact of time and even rarer in those who are the most prone to it.”

The bird on your hand with its adorably red belly was fascinating enough that you did not notice the way the Elvenking looked at you, aware that he was going to savour this single image in his memory for many, many thousands of years in the future.

Thranduil was not a monster, although he understood why many were ready to address him as such. He was aware of his doings, of his regrets and faults but he also knew how much does it take to carry the weight of the necessity. Men were foolish, easily led by their own emotions which changed as quickly as the wind, and it was their doom they always brought upon themselves. Perspective makes history look different, the deeds appearing in a light nobody would expect them to centuries ago and it was the ability their kind lacked.

How could they possibly understand what was wise and what not, if they never truly lived to face the consequences of their own actions? If they had no idea what would their descendants have to endure?

The human he decided to invite to his kingdom was no less blind than the rest of her kind, nevertheless he found her presence and stories amusing. It was different; her point of view, the news she brought from the lands far on the east, and he found himself roaming through the halls of his kingdom with head full of the images of her face and the sound of her voice. She talked about the beauty of the lake she stayed by one night in a way which made him feel like a fool. As if it was him, who was blind for this whole time and could not see the world in the same way she did.

Ironically, it was his eyes which were used to seeing more, looking through darkness and illusions.

There was a reflection of the setting sun in her eyes when she spoke about it, a picture so clear that he could almost touch it, as if he was witnessing it for the first time in his whole life. There was a melody in her tone when she was repeating the legends she heard along the way and for some reason he grew fond of it, the excitement being something he has forgotten long ago. There were not many things which could still surprise him, after all, there was nothing to look for, nothing to long for.

Except, perhaps, for the gentle softness of her lips when he imagined how would they feel against his. Would it be different and refreshing, just like her stories were? Would he still be able to enjoy it? Would the kiss bring out new palette of unnecessary emotions from her fragile heart?

He was never a monster, he told himself. The real monsters were out there, in the world, ready to slay the weaker, the ones of her kind. He would be selfish if he did not offer his help to those in need, if he did not provide the food supplies and wine for people from the Laketown who needed it the most after the terrifying dragon attack. The great serpent was the worst monster walking upon this lands and suddenly Thranduil felt grudge for everyone who dared to compare him to the vicious beast.

The Elvenking was never heartless, not in the moment when he was trying to protect his people from the mindless slaughter the Dwarves suffered in Erebor dozens of years ago, nor when he was ready to fight until his last breath to reclaim the gems of his wife—the last physical memory of her that he could still own. But especially not when he was kneeling on the cold, hard ground on the battlefield, holding the body of the human storyteller to his chest and listening to the silence where once her heartbeat was, the echo of a sword slicing the air where he was supposed to stand still loud in his mind, just like her desperate scream and a pitiful attempt to shield him.

Thranduil was never a monster but he knew better than anyone that he was, instead, a fool.

#13daysofspookywritingevent #13 days of spooky writing event #thranduil x reader #thranduil #the hobbit

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cursedgodcomplex · 3 years

Text

I did this because 1. I was bored 2. I’m Still waiting for an idea to hit me so i can finish my next head canon

Favorite brothers

Belphegor- my cow hoe is the most relatable to me. the list on why he’s my favorite can also count as a list on our similarities going through them in not order first is the gen z energy me and my cow hoe here are both gen z’s and second is the laziness but in a different way I’m lazy but has insomnia. I’m like him just minus the sleeping and boldness on actually saying what’s on his mind i can roast you alive but is either to lazy to do it or lack the boldness third the depression fourth the pettiness as my name says I’m a pitiful loser.

Mammon- I love idiots and my second favorite dere is tsundere’s so that’s why i like him. I call him mamon cause a friend of mine is filipino. I don’t like the way lucifer treats him but in all honesty I treat my brother the exact same and mix that with my pettiness if you were my brother you’d have a miserable existence all in all I love this idiot

Leviathan- again with the relatable hoes his envy and selfishness with people is extremely relatable to me so is his relationship with mamon and so is his obsession with anime specifically anime girls

Beelzebub- who doesn’t love him

Satan- the love of cats and books and angry issues are again relatable but mostly the love of cats

Lucifer- i want to put him in the very bottom but nah a reminder that just because there low do not mean i hate them asmo who is at the very bottom is just to neutral to me I don’t hate him but back to lucifer his sadistic nature is concerning but relatable not that I would admit it but I see my brother cry all the time with a straight face even laugh at the faces he makes the only reason why i help my brother is because I don’t want to get in trouble also i can relate to his pride tho mine will take time to build up to the point of acting similar to lucifer

Asmo- again don’t hate him just neutral tho all the outfits he wears are cool and pretty don’t got anything to say sorry

Favorite dateables

Solomon- him and barbatos are on a tie. in short i love everything solomon is and I cannot really explain it but I just like him a lot

Barbatos- this mf is shady you can have solomon on top ten most sus people in the world mojo. Whatever but this mother fucker i can not freaking describe how sus he is to me and i fucking love how stupid his hair is. his hair is as stupid as atsushi and I’m lovin it and like solomon I love everything about him i also love suits so do that as you wish

Diavolo- i love this huge teddy bear and that’s all

Simeon- i like his design minus the stupid cape but i like it. His design gets extra points for looking like momo’s hero costume the same momo I adore and love back to simeon my friend said quote “bro you have the same two faced personality like solomon on one face your belphie on the other your simeon like betch pick oneee” so I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended but I replied with “I don’t know what this has to do with you having a break down in the public restroom but ok” so moving on

Luke- i hate children

#obey me #obey me shall we date #ranking characters #might be bad but #idk

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ohbeaby · 4 years

Text

Headcannons about the boys sins because they’re never really explained so...here are my thoughts!

Lucifer: Avatar of Pride

Having pride is saying you have great confidence or self-respect.

Now it is implied that the boys are the embodiments of their sins and can therefore influence people with them. I like to think it’s more like they can control the level you feel their sin.

Lucifer can mess around with your perception of yourself, either bringing you to overconfident or pulling your self esteem to rock bottom.

He can make you proud of things you shouldn’t be proud of, like how much you can drink or smoke. He can make you lose confidence in your abilities to do your job or hobby.

He does this so it’s easier to convince you to come with him whenever he gets done playing with you.

Mammon: Avatar of Greed

To be greedy us to have an intense and selfish desire for something.

Similar to Lucifer, I like to think Mammon can control the way greed is felt in a person.

Say he wanted someone to give up everything they had? Just knock that greed level to the negatives and watch as the person just starts giving away everything until they have nothing.

What if he wants a person to just drown in his greed? We get people who cannot let go of items and are constantly buying things just to fill a need.

Both of these options would wind up isolating people. Someone giving up everything wouldn’t even try to hold onto relationships or get anyone’s attention if something is wrong and someone so obsessed with indulging in want would have pushed people away with their problems.

Mammon eventually comes to the person and either offers them everything they could ever want (max greed) or asks for them to give up everything (no greed).

Leviathan: Avatar of Envy

Leviathan stands out from his other brothers in the idea that he actually feeds off of the other sins to fuel his. His sin is more like an amplifier for all the other sins except Sloth and Wrath, I’ll explain those later though.

With Lucifers pride, he makes the person over analyze everything everyone around them is doing. Forcing them to try and fit in to a made up perception to keep their reputation from being hurt. An example would be that the person absolutely HAS to have the latest fashion styles even if they are uncomfortable or they can’t afford them. Their pride in their reputation for fitting in is at stake even if no one else around them directly pays attention to the latest fashion.

With Mammon’s greed, Levi essentially makes it so the person will have a constant want for validation from others in their material objects. Fancy cars they can’t afford, huge home renovations that destroy their retirement funds, a constant change in wardrobes that leaves them overdrawn in their bank account. I think because Envy and Greed work so well together the two brothers are a lot closer than the game portrayes.

With Asmodeus’s lust, Levi just intensifies the craving and might even drive the person to murder. The person affected would be driven to kill because if they can’t have their love interest no one else should. Person typically becomes an obsessive stalker. For this reason Levi and Asmo don’t team up too often because dealing with a psychotic human isn’t the easiest and neither really want to deal with that much work.

With Beelzebub’s gluttony, Levi plays more into the self image perception. The person wants to look a certain way and will try diet plan after diet plan, workout session after workout session, yet never be able to quite reach their desires or the bar they want to reach keeps getting moved. The person goes crazy and ends up harming their body in their attempts to reach the unreachable goals. Beel and Levi also don’t team up much because of how uncomfortable it makes them to see a person die due to their combined sins. It’s a slow and painful death and neither boy likes the idea of prolonged suffering unless the person absolutely deserves it in their eyes.

If Levi is the one collecting the human he just offers to fill all their desires.

Satan: Avatar of Wrath

Wrath is an extreme anger. Satans sin is more of a byproduct of the other brothers sins or a person being wronged.

If a persons pride is damaged, a greed not fulfilled, an envy never dealt with, a lust that slipped away, or a drastic reduction in how much a person can indulge in something they want (food or sleep), that person is going to get angry. Satan just steps in and blows that anger through the roof.

Even the brothers have fallen into anger over something that is seemingly trivial in an outside perspective, but to them it’s enough to destroy a kitchen over.

Satan himself rarely gives into his own sin just because of how uncontrollable it is, at least with other sins there can be peace after a need is fulfilled, his is just a continuous fire.

His is the most deadly sin as more than one person is typically affected. When he goes to collect the human he just offers to rid them of their anger.

Asmodeus: Avatar of Lust

Lust is really just a passionate desire for something, typically sexual. Asmodeus is more interactive with his sin than his brothers, he is more the type to charm someone into bed with him and get them addicted to sex.

While Asmo likes to work solo with his sin he doesn’t mind working with his brothers to break a human. He can also use his sin to help amplify the other sins to a degree as he can just increase the passion for something in someone.

Asmodeus will just offer the person all their passions for all eternity.

Beelzebub: Avatar of Gluttony

Gluttony is an excess in eating or it can just be an overindulgence in something. Beelzebub usually just plays with the persons eating habits and swings them from always wanting to eat to not eating for days.

Beelzebubs sins is probably the shortest a person lives through, as I said before he and Levi don’t really care for prolonged suffering. Doesn’t like playing with his food.

Beel will work with his brothers to quickly put an end to someone but only if he’s promised a large portion of the person caught.

Beelzebub offers to make the pain of their stomach go away to get the person to come with him.

Belphegor: Avatar of Sloth

To be slothful is to be lazy. Belphegors style of using his sin against someone is very fitting. Belphie’s sin doesn’t work very well with any of the other sins as it’s essentially a lack of doing anything.

Now Blephie can also control the level of slothfulness someone feels. Ramping up his sin makes the person so lazy they might just die of starvation because they wouldn’t wake up but pulling it back fully causes a workaholic that will work themselves to death.

Belphie might not even offer anything to the person and will simply drag them with him once he’s done messing with them. The ones asleep put up no fight and the workaholics are too exhausted to even try and stop him.

#obey me #shall we date? obey me #mammon headcanon #lucifer headcanons #asmodeus headcanons #leviathan headcanons #satan headcanons #beelzebub headcannon #belphegor headcannons #obey me headcanons

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