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butterflydm · 2 years

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the dragon reborn (chap 19-chap 27)

1. Mat wakes up! Our first Mat PoV! I’m so sad that he lost so many memories over the course of the story so far, though, because I feel like that really did affect the way he reacted to all things re: Rand & the Dragon reborn stuff, not having those memories of Rand trying so hard to help him.

2. Because he does worry about whether or not Rand’s all right first, before he spirals into the tangent about worrying about that Rand is going to go mad and how terrifying it is that he’s the Dragon Reborn. He tells himself that he can’t think of Rand as a friend anymore and then is suddenly angry. Just. Complicated feelings even without most of his memories intact.

3. One of my best friends is a monster now! 😭 ... I sure wish he were here to give me advice about women. Oh, Mat.

4. Again, Lanfear pulls out “for the glory!”, on Mat this time. Girl has one single play in her playbook.

5. Hunger being used as a leash for Mat here is making me very uncomfortable, even if Siuan is doing this with good intentions to make sure he fully recovers from being healed. (honestly... big IF for me here. I do not remember if Siuan planned on actually letting him leave at any point)

6. I remembered Mat’s feelings about Rand being a lot more uniformly harsh than they actually are (at least so far). When he’s not actively thinking about Rand being the Dragon Reborn, he thinks about him in a relatively normal way.

7. “I’m no hero. I do what I have to do, but I’m no hero.” Oh, Mat.

8. Huh, Siuan still thinks that the Heroes would follow the Shadow, if called to fight on their side. I guess we only know better because of what Artur Hawkwing said, and Verin wasn’t there for that conversation, so Siuan doesn’t know either. Interesting!

9. And TAR is officially named! Verin is the one who tells us the name. Brown Sisters are very good for infodumps. And she gives Egwene the twisted stone ring, to help her with Dreaming.

10. Ah, time for Egwene and Elayne’s Accepted tests. I am wondering if this event will be in the next season as well. It probably depends on where exactly they are placing the timelines. If we do see it, I wonder if Egwene’s tests will all be the same as they were in the book (which is to say: Rand, Rand, and more Rand, lol. These tests would probably feel a lot less weighty without the backstory change to them being ‘all but promised’, I suppose, but it’s still, you know, a lot of Rand, though there is something symbolic in the fact that her embracing being Aes Sedai means her specifically leaving Rand behind over and over and over).

11. They do also use the scenarios as ways of giving us some solid lore knowledge as well as a handful of red herrings. It’s not JUST Rand. But I’m pretty sure we’ve now gotten more fake!Rand in this book than actual Rand, lol.

12. Which does fit the theme of the book so far -- it’s called The Dragon Reborn but it’s not about Rand; it’s about ‘the Dragon Reborn’ as a concept. So we get Perrin and Moiraine chasing him and hearing about the effects he’s having on the world. We get Mat and Egwene trying to deal with what it means for them personally that Rand is the Dragon Reborn. Every consequence that fake!Rand faces in the scenarios where Egwene leaves him behind are all due to WHAT he is, not WHO he is (dying by channeling sickness, being turned by Fades and Dreadlords; being gentled). And Rand, too, is chasing what it means to be ‘the Dragon Reborn’, to prove to himself for once and for all whether or not it’s him.

13. We don’t get any real hints here about what Elayne’s tests were about, except that leaving the way she had to made her feel like a terrible person, but it seems to do that for everyone.

14. Mat thinks Elayne is pretty, but entitled. Fair points, both, Mat. He thinks Galad is pretty, too, though he tries to make it an insult. Bi!Mat rights?

15. And there it is! ‘Time to toss the dice’ from Mat before he beats Gawyn and Galad -- one on two, staff against swords. I hope we get this scene next season. Mat also instinctively says that he’s from ‘Manetheren’.

16. Elayne showing off her clever brain, working out that the very ‘random’ness of how none of the Black Ajah women who left had anything in common means that the BA must have had TONS of choice, in order to be able to try to pick out a set of women who wouldn’t show any specific types or trends. The lack of clues is a clue itself. A scary one.

17. Lanfear is pleased by Egwene’s boldness, but does not try “for the glory!” on her. Kinda sad, I would have loved to have seen Egwene’s reaction if Lanfear had been as hilariously obvious with her as she was with the three guys.

18. The Wondergirls discover that Liandrin and her twelve have ALL left behind ‘clues’ to lead whoever might want to chase them to Tear, and correctly guess this is either a trap or a distraction.

19. I’m trying to remember why Alanna is so interested in the girls. Is it because they’re connected to Rand, who she saw at Fal Dara? Like, we all know why Verin is checking in on them, but why was Alanna so interested that she tried to get herself sent to the kitchens for punishment?

20. Elayne thinking of having ‘three or four’ Warders and then only picking one of them to be her official Prince Consort - harsh. lol Elayne almost, but not quite saying she’d like Rand as a Warder, in front of Egwene -- it’s an interesting dynamic. Because even if Jordan did alter the backstory in TGH, he did very much keep in the idea that Egwene ‘left Rand behind to pick the White Tower instead’, he just... oh, I think maybe I just finally got why he did it. Now, instead of the ‘break-up’ being entirely Egwene going ‘nah I don’t think I wanna date you actually; I want this career path instead’; it’s now a situational thing on both sides -- they can’t because she’s planning to be Aes Sedai AND because he’s the Dragon. When of course that wasn’t a consideration at all in the first book because none of the kids even knew that ‘Dragon Reborn’ was a possible option for anyone.

21. Which is interesting because it’s clear that Elayne sees absolutely no conflict going on between any of those things (not at this point anyway; she might later) -- so what if she plans on being Aes Sedai? So what if Rand is the Dragon? Those don’t change the fact that he’s handsome and she thinks of him when he isn’t there and she’ll make it work. The only thing that actually gives her pause is this notion that he and Egwene were childhood sweethearts, before things changed and they became Star-Crossed Lovers. Ooooh, I wonder if she’s trying to test out the idea that EGWENE is one of the people that she’s supposed to ‘share’ her husband with (per Min’s viewing from the last book that she probably believes more in now that she’s known Min for longer). That actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it. That she’s poking at the idea of Rand to try to feel out Egwene’s vibes on sharing (and her own as well, I would suspect).

22. For Elayne herself, I wonder if she sees no conflict because she’s always known she would have to balance conflicting needs and duties, due to growing up royal and yet also knowing she would train in the Tower. So this is an idea that she’s had her whole life to get used to and that she’s already seen an example of in watching her mother balance her personal life and her country’s political needs.

23. Both Perrin and Rand are hanging out in TAR in their dreams -- it looks like they’re just showing up there where they actually are in the real world, too. Not having a great time. Hopper is trying to guard Perrin’s sleep, at least. No one is guarding Rand’s and he lets us know that he’s being sent temptations in his sleep to try to trick him and kill him. :-(

24. “Egwene realized that Elayne looked pretty doing anything, even crying, or scrubbing pots.” Bi!Egwene rights?

25. Nynaeve is the one who thinks of using Mat as the messenger for Elayne’s letter to her mother.

#wot #wheel of time #wot reread #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #new thought: mat x galad #it's hilarious and i love the idea #i'm gonna workshop it #i still have cauthor brainweasels tho #tdr did not change that

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jay-and-dean · 3 years

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Worse

Dean x reader

Summary : Is it possible to love someone so much, you just wish you’re lucky enough to die first ?

Warnings : This is ANGST. I’m not kidding, this is panic attack, suicidal thoughts, grieving, light thought of murder, borderline domestic violence angst. This is kinda Dark and be careful that it’s not too triggering for you, please.

Wordcount : 1.8 k

Note : This is my fic for @negans-lucille-tblr‘s 6k “roll the dice” writing challenge. My genre prompt was Angst (I think you got it by now) and my prompt was “I’ve been pulling you close but pushing me further”, it’s blod in the fic.

December is a harsh month for me, so here is a harsh fic.

Jay’s Masterlist

_____________________

Dean did it again.

He swore on his life he wouldn't, you should have known that it meant nothing.

How fucking ironic it is ? Dean Winchester swearing on his own life that he will try to protect it, that he won't shield every person on Earth with his soul and body.

You're holding your painful chest, sitting on that stupid bed in this stupid motel room where nothing makes any sense anymore because your world is crumbling again. And your mind is going all the way down its own spiral of pain, the worst there is.

Your breath is short and your thoughts go so fast, a super computer giving you all the details of the movie that will be your life once Dean is gone.

The silence.

The implacable silence in the bunker, the void left by the end of his voice, the kind of silence that hurts so much it could kill you, harassing cruelly, again and again, with no break at all until you're ready to open your skull on a wall to make it stop.

That kind of silence.

The empty bed back home, the empty room. Your mind makes emptiness rain on you : Empty kitchen and no bacon, no joy ever, no sex, no one holding you and telling it's going to be okay. No one really understanding you and no hero on Earth, no butterflies ever again. No reason to live. Empty heart. Empty life.

Empty fucking world.

In the middle of this chaotic din, you think of his toothbrush, of throwing it in the trash because he won't need to clean his cute, going slightly inward, teeth ever again. Of his clothes waiting on the closet forever, and how fast the smell on it will fade.

You think of the nights spending screaming for him to come back because nothing is bearable without him, nothing... Screaming until you can't, strangling yourself with sobs, knowing it won't help because begging, threatening and bargaining won't change a thing.

And the days being even worse.

You think of the moment you will manage to forget the loss just enough to breathe, for a second, sitting on your bed, imagining he is just gone to the bathroom and that he will show up, pass this door again... Then remember he will never look back in your eyes again, fall even harder... And now you want to die.

Right now.

Even if all this is not real yet, even if Dean is still alive, you just want to die. You need to stop feeling anything forever now, just not exist because you don't want to be here when all of this happens.

And it will happen.

He just proved it. Your love for him doomed you and you're done praying that anyone listening would let you take his burdens...

Your thoughts shatter when he opens the door of the motel room and walks in with his heart beating and his chest breathing, blood running through his veins... But seeing him is not a relief this time, not anymore, and the deafening fear is still compressing your ribs with its vise talons.

"Baby" he sighs and you whimper at the pain of thinking one day you won't hear it anymore.

Everything hurts.

Until now, you always managed to calm after Dean almost died. It always took a few days being extremely anxious, living in the shadow of fear, feeling like nothing had any meaning anymore, but he always managed to make you whole again. With empty promises that he won't leave you, that he will always be by your side...

Bullshit.

Last time, the unbearable despair of knowing he will go before you didn't leave you completely, and you still suffer this horrible void caused by the idea that nothing worth living, if it is not forever.

This time, you know it, that horrible sorrow won't leave you. Not ever.

"Dean, it's over."

His big green eyes widen and his large body comes in front of you. His beloved body that you will have to burn one day, watching it as flames eat his freckled skin and flesh, as they turn to nothingness the man you love.

"Don't say that" he groans. "Baby, look at me. I didn't know for the metal thing."

You close your eyes, seeing the vampire impale him on this stupid bar again and again and it's like the spikes goes through you too.

"You know this one is not on me" he sighs. "It's not like I did it on purpose !"

"This one" you mutter his words in echo. "Maybe if you hadn't worn my heart out with all the times it was actually 'on purpose' like you say..."

He squats in front of you but you can't look at him. He was ready to say goodbye... Again. He was ready for you to lose him, who cares if you are ready or not.

"Don't say that..." he tries to touch your cheek with his fingers, the ones you held while performing that horrible spell to save him at Death's door.

To save him against his will.

But you flinch away and repeat.

"It's over. I won't watch you die."

"I won't, Baby" he tries again but those lies are hollow and your soul burned out.

You get up and pace the ugly room, unable to bear his face so close after seeing it turn dead pale once more.

"You know how lucky you are ?" you say in a broken voice, way too sad to cry. "You're obviously ready to die, to leave me. You will be the one leaving first and th-that is the luckiest place..." he looks down and takes a loud inhale. "You're so fucking ready to quit."

"I'm not" he states but you ignore his words, they are just wind now.

"But I'm not" you continue, seeing tears fill his perfect eyes. "I can't... O-one day I will have to burn your body, Dean... How selfish is it ? Have you ever thought of what happens after your stupid blaze of glory ?" he keeps his eyes down without saying a word and you could hit him, you want to but instead you let out a desperate strangled scream of pain. "HOW FUCKING SELFISH ARE YOU ! YOU'RE WILLING TO SAVE EVERYBODY BUT ME !"

The burning rage rises in your soul, in your body, and it's like flames were consuming you too, like you were on a stake. Your skin is burning, blood boiling and your heart feels like ember.

"Y/n" he tries, paralyzed by his inability to face this paradox :

If he keeps trying to save you and everybody else with his life, it will kill you ; but if you die, he still burns.

Is it possible to love someone too much ? Is it possible to actually die of love ? Is it possible that it is too late, that you're already dead...

"I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE YOU" you scream and a costumer of the motel yells for you to shut up behind the wall, you couldn't care less. "FUCK YOU DEAN WINCHESTER !"

He walks to you but the blazing pain is killing you, and you push him violently, making him step back in a huff.

"It's the job, Baby, you know that" he tries but it feels like gasoline on the pyre of your heart.

"Those suicidal shits to talk to Death ! Fucking OD on meds !" you feel tears roll on your face, down your chin and chest, but you don't think you're crying, or maybe you have been all this time... "Michael ! HELL ! THE MA'LAK BOX ! I NEVER FORGAVE YOU FOR THAT !"

"Y/n... I'm trying..."

"You should have tried harder ! I have been there, following you everywhere, accepting your stubbornness. I've been pulling you close but pushing me further. I'm dying of loving you Dean... I have to go."

You turn to put your clothes in your bag.

"You can't leave" he states, coming closer.

"WATCH ME !"

With hunter speed, he wraps his arms around you, hard and fast, with all his strength, preventing your every moves. All you can do is scream, and hit his arms to get free like they were enemies.

"You... You're not leaving me Y/n" he states through tears while you're fighting like you can. "You can't leave me... You're the meaning of my life... I love you more than anything in the world."

"LIAR !" you sob, hitting him with all you have, hitting him with your pain and your panic, with the despair that is consuming you.

You're fighting in a desperate last attempt to survive, like it was your last breath but when he squeezes your weak body harder, you hit and scratch every parts of him you can reach even more.

"I could die for you" he sobs.

"DON'T SAY THAT ! LET ME GO" you scream again, your voice hoarse and throat sore.

The neighbor knocks on the wall... And your eyes catch a glance at your gun at reach.

You grab it with the speed of rage and point it to Dean's temple. Nothing matters anymore, and maybe if you both died in that dirty room, you would end up together in Hell...

He doesn't move. You look at his tears soaked face, this face you love more than it is healthy to, to his tired wrinkled eyes, so red that the green seems greener... You cry at how beautiful he is, and press the barrel harder on his temple.

"I could kill you..." you mutter with clench teeth through your blurred mind.

"Do it" he orders. "DO IT !"

His shouting makes you flinch when his nose grazes yours at how close he is.

"WHY IN HELL WOULD YOU SAVE MY LIFE TO LEAVE ME AFTER ! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU !" he screams and presses his head harder on the gun. "LEAVING OR PUTTING A BULLET IN ME ARE JUST THE SAME ! SO GO ON ! DO IT !"

You fall.

His arms catch you and keep you up, but every crumb of your will just fell. The gun slips from your hand...

A few years ago, you swore to love Dean forever, even if it meant death or Hell or even worse... So you will stay here, just here in his trembling arms until you have to burn him, for you neither can face that cruel paradox.

You know you will walk on that pyre, that day, and hold him until the end. You will burn, but you will stay...

Because this is it.

This is worse.

_________________________

FEEDBACK IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME

Tags : @parinarain @mogaruke @masterof-agony @rainflowermoon @tftumblin @deans-baby-momma @roonyxx @thefaithfulwriter @vicariouslythruspn @emeow1496 @daryldixonandfrogs @holylulusworld @cocklesbelli @sandlee44 @screenchingartisancashbailiff @donnaintx @stormchasingchick32-deactivated @akshi8278 @magssteenkamp @sister-winchesters99 @neii3n @lyss-dw79 @im-a-shrub @sadwaywardkid@hopelesslydevotedtoyou1912 @slyqueenj @i-love-superhero @waywardsisterandpie @sunsetsandbooks @mrspeacem1nusone @stylesismyhubs @deanwanddamons @jawritter @peridottea91 @chelsea072498 @chocolateheart @vicmc624 @teresa-67 @jessie-michael @doctor-hp-mcu @hawkerz12 @mariaenchanted @hobby27 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @thoughts-and-funnies @suramyaa @yasreadsfics @brilovesdeanwinchester

#bees6krollthedicechallenge #supernatural #Supernatural Dean Winchester #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #SPN #SPNFamily #dean winchester #spn dean x reader #dean x reader #dean x y/n #angst #violence #panic #death talk #established relationship #jay and dean

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mythgirlimagines · 3 years

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Never Change, Gonta!

———————————————————————————————–

We start off our scene with a certain roster of Hope’s Peak Students overlooking a large and elaborate mansion. All of the Ultimates, apart from the estate’s owner, gape in awe at the lavishness of their classmate’s living quarters. The gold-engraved name at the front of the large iron gates should be enough for one to surmise which classmate this lavish estate belongs to; “The Gokuhara Estate”.

“Dude, you never cease to amaze me!” barked Kaito Momota, in all of his loud and baritone glory. But the outside of the mansion was just the tip of the iceberg. For the inside of the estate is somehow even more luxurious than the outside.

“A piano!” squealed the class’s beloved piano freak, Kaede Akamatsu. Of course the estate’s piano would be the first thing that captures the musical enthusiast’s eye. Her eyes wander over the rest of the furniture before settling on one particular piece in the center of the wall. “And a fireplace!” marveled Kaede, with Shuichi being crouched down right next to her, observing the fireplace alongside her.

“Wow! T-That’s amazing! I’ve hardly ever seen fireplaces outside of very large mansions.” remarked Shuichi, still breathless in awe from his classmate’s luxurious lifestyle.

“I know! Isn’t it awesome? We could light the fireplace-” Kaede responded, imagining the various heartwarming scenarios she can accomplish with her classmates that involve a warm toasty fire, before suddenly being cut off by the estate’s heir’s voice.

“Can’t do that.” Gonta intercepted, a hint of panic in his voice. The two partners in crime-solving turn to face the burly gentleman, wondering what is preventing him from lighting the fireplace. Maybe he doesn’t want any of the bugs that enter his living room to get burned by the fire? He’s always had a high level of concern for even the most insignificant of insects. “Weather not that cold yet. And Father told Gonta Santa no like dirty chimneys and won’t go down them.”, Gonta claims rather matter-of-factly.

“Father?”, the pink-clad pianist questioned, craning her head over to her partner.

“Wait! Santa?”, the dark-clad detective responded, confused by the entomologist’s matter-of-fact claims. A brief awkward silences washes over the luxurious estate.

It was Kiibo’s turn to pipe up, breaking the awkward silence. “Wow! Amazing!”, Gonta’s metal-plated classmate gushed, clearly astounded at learning more about human beliefs.

“You have such a kind father.”, Kirumi added, a rare smile crossing the maid’s features.

“Gonta always clean chimney before winter. And every year, Santa come without fail!”, Gonta proudly states with his signature cheery grin, putting his large hands on his hips on the second statement. It’s very clear that Gonta really cares about others and prides himself on being a gentleman, even to fictional characters. Shuichi and Kaede briefly stare at each other in disbelief, as if they’re looking for confirmation that Gonta is actually saying what they think he’s saying. “As proof, look in chimney!”, Gonta added, upon noticing the look of disbelief on the duo’s faces.

The twosome peer into the chimney, as per Gonta’s request. Upon taking a closer look into the chimney, they noticed an elaborate chalk drawing of Santa, with a cursive “Thank you!” written alongside it. They took their heads out of the chimney to see Gonta, proudly adjusting his glasses with his signature prideful smile on his face. They pleasantly smile upon seeing the entomologist’s naive, yet earnest attitude.

That was until the snickers of a certain pint-sized and purple-haired pathological liar filled the lavish mansion. “Y-You! You believe in San-”, Kokichi sardonically remarked, all while holding back his laughter. Holding back his laughter proves to be a difficult task, for the pathological liar’s purple eyes are rapidly filling up with tears and his face proceeds to do its best tomato impression.

Two of the wealthy entomologist’s classmates rush forward and harshly grab the supreme leader’s shoulders before he spills the awful truth. “KOKICHI!”, Tenko angrily barked as she harshly grasped Kokichi’s left shoulder, nails digging through his checkered winter hoodie.

“DON’T YOU DARE!”, Kaito growled in an equal, if not more enraged tone than Tenko. His calloused and tanned hands squeezes the diminutive dictator’s right shoulder.

“OW! OW! OW! WHAT THE HECK, GUYS?!”, Kokichi screams in pain from both of his shoulders being grasped by his two strongest classmates, discounting Gonta. The Ultimate Supreme Leader managed to weasel his way out of the cruel grasp of his two athletic classmates, in order to ask why he was restrained and scolded just for telling the truth. The pianist and detective spring up from their crouching positions to assist the astronaut and aikido practitioner in silencing the antagonistic leader of DICE.

“Don’t do it, Ouma! Saying that would be a serious crime”, Kaede demanded, with a mix of anger and panic on her face. Anger from Kokichi’s sheer audacity and panic from Gonta’s worldview being potentially shattered due to Kokichi’s sheer audacity.

“Yeah! You’re going to scar Gonta for life!”, Shuichi added, clearly more panicked than Kaede. While the detective is all for revealing the truth, this is a very noticeable exception. If the naive entomologist ends up catching wind of this awful truth, who knows what would happen to him?

“B-But, c-c'mon! He’s n-n-nearly an adult! An adult that st-st-still b-be-”, Kokichi snickers maliciously, as his dam is about to burst and unleash a merciless torrent of laughter at the expense of his purest classmate. Luckily, the rest of the class managed to dogpile Kokichi before he manages to spill the beans.

During this entire debacle, Gonta is watching the rest of his classmates dogpile and silence Kokichi with a confused frown on his face. And to this day, he still doesn’t know why his friends have to silence Kokichi any time that Santa is mentioned by the gentlemanly entomologist. But all his classmates are willing to tell him is, “Never change, Gonta!” ——————————————————————————————-

Here it is, everyanon! Your dear dad friend’s Christmas present for you! I’ve put a lot of heart and soul into this fic! Kudos to anyone who gets what the fic is referencing! Have a holly, jolly Christmas (or whatever winter holiday you celebrate)! -Fusion Anon

---

Aww, Fusion, that was great! Thank you so much and have a merry Christmas yourself!

#submission #anon #fusion anon #fanfic #not my fic #gonta gokuhara #kokichi ouma #kaito momota #kaede akamatsu #shuichi saihara #tenko chabashira #kirumi tojo #danganronpa #ndrv3 #naturally the formatting decided to not exist as soon as i clicked to post this #so i had to redo it as best i can #so sorry if its not exactly like you sent it fusion!

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grimoireofwritings · 3 years

Note

Ooh ooh! Dungeons and Dragons headcanons for the Eye of the Midnight Sun members please, both elves and humans!

I actually love their little group cuz I think the characters are underrated and have very interesting dynamics!! Big thanks for sending in this request, I wasn't expecting it and was overjoyed to see it. I am gonna do the members of the Third Eye obviously, as well as Licht / Patri & the other three asshole lackies that I found highly amusing. Enjoy~!

Licht / Patri :

- Ngl I don't think he would give a shit

- He really doesn't care to spend any time with the humans around him, we all find out he despised every last one of em excluding William so if he ever played D&D with a group it would probably have happened back when he was living amongst his people and wasn't busy organizing a genocidal mission

- I really think he would go for a sorcerer or rogue, he is more the clever and calculating type

- Takes the game a little too seriously and he's definitely that one guy who gets too invested in his character and feels personally offended when bad things happen to said character. Be prepared for some salty remarks if he rolls a nat one and it messes up his plans..

- Probably just wants to prove he's smart

- He enjoys dungeon crawls and combat heavy sessions, he is the brains of the group and this happens especially if he's with people who are there for the shits n giggles and they keep straying too far into chaos aka pissing off the DM

- He could maybe have potential to be a decent DM but I really don't think he would care enough to put the time and energy into a well built campaign

- Great at solving puzzles

- Personally shits on anyone who plays a human and furthermore he will only play as elves

Fana :

- Elf Fana, the hateful? I feel like she might go for an evil cleric, or perhaps a fighter. Depends on what would balance out the party dynamic more.

- Human Fana? Definitely a good cleric.. or perhaps a sweet druid lady

- Human Fana really likes playing for the social and bonding experience with people she's close to and she also enjoys the freedom and creativity involved with building characters

- She is the person who takes notes and actually pays attention to what's going on. The DM appreciates her efforts to focus on the story and plot..

- She has probably 2-3 sets of really pretty looking polyhedral dice

Rhya :

- This bitch definitely mains a rogue in almost every party

- He may also go for a ranger as a second option

- Basically the roles focusing on not getting hit.. he would rather not be troubled with taking damage so instead he will use the rogue's sneak attack function to stay in stealth mode 24/7 and remain hidden from enemies.. or just stay out of range as a distanced attacker

- He is the dangerous mf who is impulsive mostly because he definitely does not care enough about safety and would much rather be amused by making really reckless random decisions that may or may not compromise his party and their characters too

- He thinks it's hysterical

- An average roller but he makes it work somehow and even though he's not super intent about taking it seriously he's usually down for a campaign every now and again. It's free entertainment, right?

- At the end of the day though he probably enjoys it a lot more than he cares to admit

Vetto :

- Do I even have to say it

- He's going to be the barbarian or the fighter, he loves abusing the "rage" function and it's his favorite thing to do in-game whenever given the mere opportunity

- His characters actually have a surprising amount of depth and he ends up being someone who enjoys frequent sessions. He takes it on as a bit of a hobby

- He likes playing bigger, brawnier races that are either more rare or unappealing to social norms within the game's universe. He's a bit bigger than most elves so he slips that into his characters.

- He probably is the person who dies more than anyone else but it's because he overestimates what he can handle in battle and gets so excited to rage that he forgets his hit points exist

Valtos :

- Sign him tf up

- Owns all the Dungeon Master's guide books and he makes for an impressive DM

- Has a nerdy side and he takes this game so seriously, he's passionate about it and loves the creative aspect of building his own worlds from scratch

- He's good at improv and molding sessions to the players and their decisions, but may become a little annoyed if it strays really far from his planning or makes said plans impossible

- If he's a player he's definitely a wizard

Sally:

- Sorry did you mean bringer of chaos?

- Probably a DMs worst nightmare

- But with the right party that might help steer her back on track and keep a little more order within their adventures, she can be a good asset to the team with those outside-of-the-box ideas of hers

- She is open to ideas with class and race for her characters but would gravitate towards bards

- Definitely a dice hoarding goblin

- Obsessed with the click clacking math rocks

- She's a very lucky roller usually

- Good at puzzles and problem solving. Sometimes she can really surprise the party with what she can do and she has her moments of glory

- Unfortunately she will make sacrifices, such as a teammate taking severe damage, if she believes it will solve an obstacle or in her eyes, be for the sake of good results... Or a fun possible outcome

- Not the best at communicating during combat

Rades Spirito :

- Not very fun to play D&D with honestly

- Refuses to play anything other than a warlock or necromancer

- It's because he is that one dude who projects wayyyy too much of himself into his characters and it's basically a glorified self insert

- He is not a team player and he's got a very narcissistic approach. Gets butthurt way too easily, and just all around he's invested for all the wrong reasons

- The dungeon artificact you all looted that fits with your character way better than his? Too bad. It's his now

- Hoardes anything good he finds and won't share party loot or gold

- His rolls are cursed. Most commonly ends up between 1-10 with his D20 rolls and that's even worse considering how emotionally immature he is in response to crappy situations

- Don't invite him to your campaign lmao

#black clover scenario #black clover #scenario #imagine #eye of the midnight sun #patri #licht #patolli #sally #valtos #rades spirito #black clover rhya #rhya #fana #fauna #vetto #dungeons and dragons #headcanons

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softbiker · 4 years

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Agent 14 Oneshot

Warnings: maybe a couple bad words

Word count: 2.6k

A/N: While this is a continuation of the Steve x Agent 14 series, this particular installment has...almost no Steve lol. Just wanted to warn people before I get in trouble for that. It does, however, feature Agents 41 and 28 (from series written by @nacho-bucky and @kentuckybarnes )! Also, I plan on expanding and posting the full “menu” of custom drinks that 14 makes for her friends, so stay tuned for that! As always, enjoy and let me know what you think! :)

She squeals when the ad pops up as she’s scrolling through Instagram.

There it is, in all its glory, right between yet another engagement photo and a “no filter” celebrity selfie.

The S’mores Frappucino.

A towering frozen swirl of sweet vanilla and creamy milk chocolate, topped with the most mouth-watering promise of all: marshmallow whipped cream. And all of it dusted with a generous sprinkle of crushed graham cracker pieces. It’s enough to make 41 want to lick her phone screen.

With a flailing little backwards somersault, she rolls herself off the couch and bounds down the hallway towards Clint’s room, tie-dye socks slipping on the freshly polished floors.

“Guess what season it is?” She flings the door open with one hand, brandishing her phone in the other, her grin nearly splitting her face as she bounces up on her toes, eager to see his reaction - only to pull up short, a soft frown dragging her lips back down. The room is empty.

“Tweets?” 41 glances around the room, taking stock of the discarded socks and inside-out jeans littering the floor, a pair of her own boots flung to one corner, a plush sea turtle smiling at her from the bed. There’s a Sharing Size bag of peanut M&M’s on the nightstand, next to an open can of Red Bull, leaving a ring on the cover of last month’s Men’s Health which he’d permanently borrowed from Sam. She looks up at the ceiling - typically he leaves a vent open as a point of entry if he’s been…exploring up there. But no dice. Their vent remains screwed in place.

Shoving her phone in the front pocket of her hoodie, she backtracks towards the kitchen, rounding the corner from the hallway and sliding into the room Risky Business-style. A blazing mid-morning sun floods the room with light through the floor-to-ceiling windows, bouncing off of the metalwork backsplash and casting sparkles across the empty table. Hands on her hips, she huffs to herself, wondering where he’s run off to, before the clinking of glass bottles catches her attention.

Sticking up from the open door of the fridge is a vaguely familiar yoga-panted ass, waving in the air as its owner rummages through the shelves and drawers, muttering under her breath.

“Nat?” The red curls bounce in her ponytail as she stands at the sound of 41’s voice.

“Oh, hey, kid,” Nat smiles, propping a hand on her hip. If she’s at all bothered by the fact that her friend and coworker just got an eyeful of her backside, she hides it all with a poker face she probably mastered in super spy kindergarten. “What are you up to?”

“Just looking for Clint.” 41 pouts. She shifts her weight to one leg, scratching at her ankle with the toe of one sock. “You haven’t seen him have you?”

Natasha’s eyebrows flicker up as she closes the refrigerator with her hip.

“Oh - he didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“The boys are all out for the day,” she sighs, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. “Some kind of belated bachelor party for Tony - even though he’s been married for a year, he said he missed out on the experience; so he kidnapped all of our male counterparts for the day.” Nat shrugs one shoulder, smirking. “Frankly the concept seems outdated - and sexist. But when has Tony ever listened to me?”

Nat notices the way her shoulders fall, the way her hands roll up inside the sleeves of her hoodie. Poor thing. And she’d come in here looking so excited, too; now her frown settles too deeply at the corners of her lips, eyes cast somewhere on the floor. Abandoning her search for a snack, Nat slides onto a bar stool at the island, propping her chin in one hand.

“You have any plans for today?” she prompts. She’ll deny it till her dying day, but the formerly made-of-marble assassin feels…soft at her core now. No, not her abs - her backflips are as tight as ever; but somewhere behind her ribs, deeper than her muscles, there’s a marshmallowy give to her now - the press of fingers could leave a dent on her.

And that’s why, God help her, she couldn’t stand the sight of 41’s frown. Couldn’t endure the downcast disappointment in her gaze. Couldn’t walk away from her halfhearted, sighing shrug.

“Not really,” 41 mumbles, licking her bottom lip. “I was just gonna see if Clint wanted to go get Starbucks with me. They’ve got the S’mores drink now.”

Pulling her phone from where it’s tucked into the waistband of her yoga pants, Nat quickly swipes through her messages and pulls up a group chat named ‘No Boys Allowed’.

I’m so gonna regret this, she thinks, but she types up her proposal anyway and taps send. Time to assemble.

***********

The bell over the door dings cheerfully, and 14 fights her inner groan long enough to yell over her shoulder, “Welcome to Starbucks!” She doesn’t turn from the drink in her hands, too afraid of spilling the milk (again) and having to remake this caramel macchiato. Gaze intent on the cup in her hands, she drizzles the sides with caramel, watching the sticky sweet goop glide down the walls of the cup. Satisfied that this should meet the customer’s request for “extra, extra caramel”, she reaches for her milk jug, glancing up from the machine where her espresso shots are queueing.

41 waves ecstatically when she meets her gaze over the espresso machine, a suspiciously casual Nat smirking over her shoulder. Wanda is following close behind them, hands shoved in the pockets of a denim jacket, despite the summer heat. Maria is already standing in front of the register, eyeing the menu, with 28 next to her, a pair of dark sunglasses pushed up on top of her head.

14 blinks.

With quick, nimble fingers, she finishes the drink in front of her and sets it up on the mobile order stand, awaiting the customer. Chase, the barista who should be covering front, is nowhere to be seen; but she doesn’t have any other drinks waiting, so she strides up to the register, tilting a curious brow at her friends.

“Ladies,” 14 smiles, tilting her head to one side. “This is…a nice surprise? A kidnapping? A mission?”

“Relax,” Maria says, punctuated with a good-natured eye roll. “We’re just here for the coffee.”

“Oh, sure,” 14 crosses her arms, leaning a hip against the front counter. “You guys are a little short-staffed, aren’t you? Where’s all the testosterone?”

“Looking for a certain star-spangled specimen?” Nat pipes up. Their group has clustered around the register in a close semicircle. “Boys’ day out. Some kind of adventure that will probably land Tony in the doghouse…but then again, he’s partying with a couple centenarians, so how bad could it be?”

“You’d be surprised,” 28 mutters with a quirk of her eyebrows.

In front of a group of super spies, superheroes, and super intelligent women, 14 fights to put on the best poker face she’s ever had in her life. At the mention of Steve - as well as the news he wouldn’t be joining them - Nat watches her closely; the only sign of her disappointment is the way she purses her lips, eyes flicking towards the door as though she might prove them wrong. And then it’s gone, her eyes turning back to her friends, a beaming, nose-scrunching smile fixed on her face.

“That sounds awful,” she giggles. “But very on-brand for Tony.”

A chorus of assent from the ladies, rolling their eyes and scoffing at the endless supply of evidence they have to that fact.

“Alright so…what can I get you?” 14 prompts. As much as she’d like to stand here, chatting with her friends, she’s still on the clock for another hour and a half - and there’s work to be done. Maybe it stings, chafes her heart a little, that this little outing doesn’t quite include her; that she’ll make their drinks and then they’ll leave, and then more drinks for more people for the rest of her shift. But these customers are more pleasant than most, and it’s not as though she won’t see them later, so she shoves down her insecurity and taps at the screen of the register, opening her till.

“Well we were thinking…” Wanda starts, glancing at Natasha. The two share an amused smirk that 14 doesn’t like at all. “…that maybe you could surprise us?”

“Except me!” 41 raises her hand, bouncing up on the balls of her feet. “I haven’t had a S’mores yet this year, I need one! Please?”

Stunned, 14 looks around the group, cocking one eyebrow.

“So…one S’mores, and then - you all want to be surprised?” What a request - she didn’t trust anyone to make a drink for her…that could really backfire.

“Well, you know us,” Nat shrugged. “You know what we like, what we hate, what we won’t drink…”

“Besides, it never hurts to try something new,” Maria smirks.

Teeth sinking into her bottom lip, a slow smile spreads across 14’s face.

“Alright, ladies, say no more-”

It takes her little more than a minute to line up her plan, squinting at each of her friends in concentration, a Sharpie poised to mark each cup, labeled with a name in her characteristic block-print scrawl. They crane their necks over the tops of the machines, trying to see behind the bar and guess what she’s whipping up back there. Ingredients flit through her hands, shaken into one cup, then exchanged for something else for the next. Syrups, cinnamon, juices, toppings. They try and fail to keep it all straight from one cup to the next, but she’s too fast, hands reaching between two drinks at once.

Finally, with a last look over her shoulder, goofily sticking her tongue from the corner of her mouth, she piles 41’s coveted marshmallow whip on top of her drink and sprinkles the graham cracker topping with a generous hand. 41 barely contains her squeal as she grabs 28’s elbow and points at it.

“That one’s mine! Doesn’t it look amazing?”

One by one, she lines up the drinks at the end of the bar, turning the cups so each name is properly shown.

“Alright, so what am I in for?” Maria cautiously waves her drink under her nose, letting the steam waft up from the small opening in the lid. Hers is a hot drink, its contents concealed in a thick paper cup proudly bearing the same green logo as its cardboard sleeve.

“I thought you wanted to be surprised?” 14 smirks, sliding 41’s frappucino across the bar into her glitter-nailed hands. 28 grabs hers as well, a refreshingly cold…something - she plunges in a straw and swirls the ice as she examines the pale pink color of the drink.

“Well, bottoms up girls,” Nat shrugs, inspecting the layer of foam on top of her drink before raising it to her lips. Wanda taps her cup with 41’s before tipping hers up as well. Standing behind the bar, a rag in her hands, 14 gnaws on her lip as she watches them sip her creations. She shifts her feet as she waits for the verdict.

“Wow.” Wanda’s brows shoot up, tongue flicking over her lip. “This is really good.”

“Yeah,” Maria agrees, going in for her second taste.

“Don’t know why you sound surprised,” 41 says around her straw and a mouthful of whipped cream. “Everything she makes is delicious.”

“Oh, thanks,” 14 brushes off the compliments with a one-shouldered shrug. “If you like it I’ll give you the recipe, so you can order it again?”

Various noises of agreement, all enthusiastic, all from full mouths. She smiles, grabs a blank receipt paper from the register and a pen from the pocket of her apron.

“Okay, so yours Wanda is a double dirty chai with cinnamon…”

***********

Folding her apron over one arm, 14 releases her hair from its butterfly clip and reaches for her backpack. She keeps a spare change of clothes folded neatly in the bottom, in case she has to run errands after work and can’t go out covered in coffee and syrup. The bathroom is empty and she ducks inside, slipping into a pair of cutoff shorts and and a tie-dye t-shirt; her faithful sneakers can make it through work and life, thankfully, so she wiggles her feet back into them, not bothering to untie the laces.

It’s been a long day. And a glance at her watch tells her it’s only…1:09 p.m.

Backpack on one shoulder, sunglasses perched on her head, she makes her way back out of the café, pausing at the end of the bar to get her drink.

“Here, girl.” Jade, the barista who made her drink, smiles as she hands her a straw. “You look like you need this.”

“I feel like I need this.” 14 smiles back as she jams her straw into the cup and takes the first sip. Iced blonde americano, 2 pumps toffee nut, a splash of sweet cream. She makes a small noise of pleasure - hits the spot every time.

“See you tomorrow!” she waves to her coworkers as she backs out the door, dropping her sunglasses down to her face as she steps into the unrelenting summer sun. Not two steps out the door, turning to the street, and she nearly bumps into-

“Nat?”

“Hey, long time no see.” Nat wiggles her fingers in a mocking little wave. The rest of their posse is clustered around a couple of bistro tables haphazardly shoved together outside the café.

“What…you guys are still here?” 14 cocks her head to the side. It’s been over an hour and a half at least, their drinks are sitting empty on the tables in front of them. She had assumed they’d be long gone.

“Well, duh,” 41 grins. “We’re going to lunch! And then - oh, we should get pedicures!”

“Oh, can we go to that new Thai place?” Wanda asks, leaning her elbows on the table. “It’s only a couple blocks down from here.”

“God, the things I would do for some egg rolls right about now-” Maria agrees, patting her stomach.

They start to stand from their tables, the metal chairs scraping loudly against concrete, and 28 gathers the empty cups to throw away in the trash cans next to the door. The group shuffles and chatters, eager at the prospect of lunch; purses and wallets are snatched up, phones tucked back into pockets. Wanda leads the way as they march off in pursuit of pad thai and egg rolls, the rest of the group falling in behind her on the sidewalk. Even in the early afternoon heat, they link arms and laugh and stand too close together, sharing giggles and gossip.

Nat lightly bumps 14 with her shoulder, her green eyes gone pale and glittering in the sun.

“You didn’t really think we’d eat and run on you?” she smirks. “Come on, I’m starving.”

14 ducks her head and grins.

“Just one second-” she says, sliding her phone from her back pocket. She snaps a picture of her drink, then smiles at Nat. “Okay, now we’re good.”

Nat rolls her eyes.

“Wow, that was so basic-”

“Shut up.”

A few minutes later, sitting in a blessedly air-conditioned Thai restaurant, she captions the photo ‘new drink for you to try next time - I highly recommend it’ and hits send.

Somewhere across town, shoved cheek by jowl with his buddies in the back of a stretch limo, the interior vibrating with music and lit with flashing LEDs, a super soldier smiles at his phone.

#agent 14 #steve rogers x agent 14 #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fic

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cardandpixel · 4 years

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9 Board Game YouTubers I Follow & Why (plus a few others)

In the literal dim and distant past when I started boardgaming (honestly, the biggest threat was tallow wax on your board), the internet was still accessed by whatever IP address you could remember off the top of your head (there’s no place like 127.0.0.1 as they sayI) - and the only TikTok was the clock ticking, waiting for half of Louise Nurding’s left leg to download only to realise it was Anne Widdecombe and you’d hit the wrong link on a BB. Boardgames had some quiet and shady corners of the internet, in those same Bulletin Boards, there was one for HeroQuest and Space Crusade when they came out. But sadly, if you wanted to see a boardgame being played or learn the rules, you either had to go round to your friend Tim’s house where he had a new chits-for-days wargame going, or sit down and actually read the rulebook yourself. As a result, I bought some interesting games in my time, including a game called Operation Overlord - a mighty chit-tastic WW2 N African campaign monster that I bought in desperation from the Games Workshop in Manchester on the first morning that it opened in 1979 (?) as we were so far back in the queue that there wasn’t a space marine to be had for miles. But now, we have a plethora of kindly folk available on our blistering shiny Windows NT 486sx machines to inform and delight us in full 8-bit glory. Everything from reviews, buying guides, rules tutorials and even painting & crafting guides, we can be bathing in just about whatever aspect of board or wargaming we so desire in an effort to stave off the clattering realisation that it’s been over 3 months since we spent any quality time with another breathing soul outside our houses. The question gets frequently asked on boardgame FaceAche forums “What YouTube channels are worth my time and why?” so in an effort to throw my own towel into that controversial ring, here’s my pick of probably 9ish, maybe more by the end, but let’s start with 9 in no particular order..... 1) 3 MINUTE BOARDGAMES

One of the first board games ‘er across the table (TM) and I bought together was a copy of Gloom from a little games and comic shop halfway round the world in Hamilton NZ, Mark 1 Comics. As we were achingly close to moving to NZ a few years ago, we’ve kept up with many aspects of what might have been our life over there, so it was a delight to discover Jarrod (and now Stephanie) on YouTube, a friendly and familiar accent reviewing board games. But it’s not just the NZ vibe that I love, Jarrod does a great job of cutting thru the hyperbole and bloat often associated with trying to keep YouTube vids ‘long for the algorithm’ (ugh) and just gives very pragmatic reasons for a game either joining or leaving his collection. He has a great approach, and it’s nice to see him finally on camera instead of the disembodied voice. Great reviewer, and Stephanie is utterly hilarious. 2) THE BROTHERS MURPH

Mike & Nick are two of the most engaging brothers on YouTube let alone just in the boardgaming community. Their series on thrift shop finds has dredged up some hilarious and often tragic specimens from the grand days of Palitoy, MB and Parker Games. They are also masters at ‘speed reviewing’ often piling reviews of 50 or 60 games into the same number of minutes. I think I favour the ‘don’t outstay your welcome’ approach to YouTube in general, and the Brothers Murph are at great ease with this philosophy and yet they take on simple party games thru to the heaviest euros with the same distillation equipment, and yet their reviews are never trivial or throw away. We had the chance to chat to Nick at Airecon this year and he was a lovely guy, slightly blown away by the fact that people liked his channel. He’s also an awesome artist too.

3) ACTUALOL

There are many reviewers on the web who have cost me a fair amount of money, the worst being Zee Garcia, however, a close second is Jon Purkiss aka Actualol. Jon has a terrifying gift for finding games, and especially ridiculously affordable games, that I buy on spec and then end up absolutely loving. Jon has a light and breezy style which is instantly engaging - I also really want his comfy chair (surely in exchange for a nice review on here Jon???). His videos are tidy and concise and yet still convey a deep enthusiasm and joy for games. His reviews very clearly portray what the setting of the game is and what you’ll be doing, without getting embroilled in the rules. He always has great footage of the game on the table (please reviewers - look at the ratio of your face to the game you’re talking about - less than 10% game and i’m walkin’) and often favours the less pricey end of the market which suits me fine. Brilliant games I love thanks to Jon include: Second Chance, Magic Maze and Ninja Academy

4) OUR FAMILY PLAYS GAMES

There’s not much to be said about Mik & Starla Fitch that cannot be gained from watching a mere 3-4 minutes of their channel. For sheer exuberance aimed squarely at a love for bringing families together via our glorious hobby, you cannot top these guys. If you are ever - EVER - feeling slightly lacklustre about gaming or losing your mojo for whatever reason - heck if you are just feeling slightly down, treat yourself to 10 minutes in the company of these two excellent human beings. Their reviews and playthru’s have all the humanity you need in a game and after five minutes you are thinking “Is the US too far to go just for a gaming evening?” We’d both utterly love to sit across the table from these lovely people and just play, and I can’t say that about every reviewer, I’ll be honest. Their reviews are often centred around unloved classics (watch their vid dedicated to why they love Catan as an example - you’ll be clicking Buy Now before your know it) and also some great quirky unknowns that I’m trying to hunt down even now. They’ve just had a brilliant couple of boosts from both a spot of Good Morning America recently, and becoming reviewers for the mighty Dice Tower. I’m immensely grateful for a tweet by Rodney Smith for pointing me in their direction, my social media is a much brighter place with the Fitch family in it.

5) RAHDO RUNS THROUGH

“Heeeeey Everybody”. One of the first board game reviewers I ever caught on YouTube was the inimitable Richard Ham aka Rahdo. And I’m so glad I did. I would genuinely never sit down and try and learn a game from one of Rahdo’s playthrus, they are what I imagine being in a wind tunnel full of 50 tonnes of feathers is like. BUT and this is crucial - if I want an idea of what a game is going to feel like to play, there is no finer deliverer of the remote game experience than Mr Richard Ham. His unique ability to explain how a game is going to work, turn by turn; the decisions you will make; the things you’ll have to consider; the short and long term goals; are all brilliantly covered in one of Rahdo’s videos. His ability to make different choices for his ‘ghost partner’ Jen (who does exist in real life, we have bought jewelry off her, she’s lovely) also adds a real dynamism to the games, showcasing the flexibility in a design for different play strategies. Rahdo tends towards 2 player games and usually at the heavier end of the scale, but if there’s a game you are thinking of buying, check Mr Ham out first!

6) WATCH IT PLAYED

It’s often been said that Canadians are some of the politest folk on the planet, but when it comes to ranking Canadians, well, I’m sure they’d be too humble to rank each other so I’ll have to. Rodney Smith is the loveliest man in the world. There, end of article. But it’s true. We’ve been watching Rodney since we first got confused about the rules for Mice & Mystics (which we still got wrong but that wasn’t Rodney’s fault) and his ever chirpy, ever positive approach to his rules rundowns is utterly remarkable and frankly, enviable. And it’s his attention to detail and clarity for explaining rules that have rightly made Rodney one of the most important resources in the gaming hobby. If you have ever struggled over a rulebook and haven’t raced to Watch It Played, I will guarantee you will have spent far longer on that rulebook and lost way more hair than you ever needed to. We had the great honour of playing Rajas of the Ganges with Rodney at Airecon in 2019, and I mugged up on the rules sooo much. Regular imbibers of this rag will know my sloth for reading rulebooks is legendary but fortunately ‘er across the table (TM) loves them. But, for the 3 days running up to our trip to Harrogate, I did nothing but read that rulebook - this was THE Rodney Smith, you can’t get a rule wrong with Rodney. But of course, nerves kicked in and I could barely remember the rules of Snap, but the nicest man in the world could not have been nicer. Really, quantum mechanics has proved it. He was just the same man off the computer telly. Funny, engaging, warm and happy to chat as well as play (which I was also really nervous about doing!), if you don’t watch Rodney, are you really internetting?

7) TABLETOP MINIONS

“Pachow” From boardgames to wargames. As well as my slight addiction to cardboard, my other opiate overlord is 28mm plastic miniatures. Specifically those involved in tabletop skirmish games like Malifaux, 7TV, Fallout Wasteland Warfare, GuildBall and a smattering of others. Though recently more focused on the frankly insane amount of content being released by Games Workshop, Tabletop Minions is presented by the splendid Uncle Atom. (In fact, I identify his content so much as Uncle Atom’s stuff that I honestly had to double check the name of the channel for this article!). My plastic habit uncle (sounds so wrong, but so true) has possibly the gentlest delivery of anyone on the internet. It’s not so much content, as therapy. I know the net is awash with AMSR channels at the mo, but if you don’t want to listen to some overmonetized southern californian with some bubble wrap and a large capsule condenser mic, just hop over to TTM and listen to the Uncle for 5 minutes. He’s like a soothing bubble bath of content about painting figures, philosophy of the hobby, general art & design principles, and great life advice. He also wears a fez.

8) GIRL PAINTING

“Hello Tchoobies!” I painted my first 28mm figure when i was about 12ish - it was, ironically, a space marine of some sort - the old clunky Ral Partha ones. It looked terrible, but each model got a bit better till I stopped for some reason a few years later. When I got into Malifaux a few years ago (ie decades, several of them, later), I knew I was going to have to get back into painting; heaps of grey plastic does not a skirmish game make. (Little did I know I would have to revisit my microscopy days either when assembling damn Bayou Gremlins!) Two channels were recommended to me, the Esoteric Order of Gamers (more later) and Girl Painting. EOG put me on the path to believing I could paint again, but Alexandra at Girl Painting actually made me believe I could learn to do it well. GP’s approach to painting figures, terrain and vehicles is based on solid art theory. Her explanation of colour relationships and the colour wheel is something I can quote to this day. All of the techniques that I lean on so heavily in day to day painting both for table and display I learnt from Girl Painting. Correct use of washes, wet blending, non-metallic metals, shading, drybrushing, highlighting, model reading, all of it from studying intently, often with a brush actually in my hand while watching the channel. I cannot recommend GP enough if you want to put paint to plastic. Whatever your ability, you will learn something from this hidden gem of a channel.

9) ESOTERIC ORDER OF GAMERS

Another dang fine antipodean and another slightly unusual channel. I have a terrible, terrible memory when it comes to rules. In our early days, we also had a a lot of games with seemingly very over-bloated rulebooks - FFG games basically. I suddenly realised what I wanted was to lift the lid of a box and find in the lid, a summary of the important stuff i needed to remember about the game. Apparently I was not the only one. In 2013 a chap known as Universal Head started publishing an amazing series of rules summaries which condensed down some of the bloatiest rulesbooks down to often one or 2 pages of A4. It was a (pardon the pun) gamechanger for me. I can’t count the number of games in our collection that have a friendly sheet of A4 now as the first thing you see when you open the box. They are brilliant. And he’s still doing it to this day. I would argue that the more useful leg to his activities is the website rather than YouTube channel, but his channel does have the aforementioned brilliant figure painting tutorials, unboxing videos and some crafting stuff. The website is definitely the place for the rules summaries and also a fantastic resource for build-it-yourself foamcore box inserts. Though Folded Space have now made box inserts pretty affordable, there’s still no feeling like the satisfaction of building your own, and I would argue that some of EoG’s designs actually make more sense than some of the Folded Space ones anyway. AND THE OTHER ONES (Who probably don’t really need the exposure, but hey, only 11 people probably read this so......) Why aren’t these on the list above? Just because I wanted to highlight some of the more marginal channels above or more specialist rather than the pure reviewers. SHUT UP & SIT DOWN Possibly my favourite channel on YouTube, whose name sounds more like a menacing Yorkshire greeting than a boardgame channel. SU&SD seem to be a real Marmite issue on the board game communities. And I genuinely don’t understand it. Yes, their reviews are often really funny but honestly, if that’s all you take away then you are missing some amazingly detailed and thought provoking work. Quinns and crew’s reviews are some of the most measured and balanced reviews in the gameyverse. Their reasoning for the conclusions they come to are incredibly well thought through and often very surprising based on the tone of the rest of the review. They have steered me to some games I would never have looked twice at and steered me away from some very shiny games that I might have blown a lot of money on otherwise. Flagposting great alternatives is also a signature of their reviews, and that again has often lead me to some fantastic games. We don’t always agree (their recent review of 10 Oink Games was savage imho) but we always disagree for the right reasons. Again, I would argue their website is actually a better overall resource, especially their podcasts which are superb, but all their content is fantastic.

in a highly similar vein I would add NO PUN INCLUDED. Efka & Elaine produce some of the most thoughtful and intelligent boardgame review content today, and often for some of the deepest and most complex games. The joy of boardgaming is that it is highly subjective and there are lots of times when NPI like/dislike a game that I do/don’t, but they are engaging and warm enough as presenters to hit you with a gentle subtext that says “It’s ok - I know we like this game, we get that you don’t, it doesn’t make any of us bad people, just people y’know, have a sandwich with us” Efka criticising a game reminds me of when Dennis Healey once described an argument with Geoffrey Howe as being ‘savaged by a dead sheep’, though not in the cynical manner of the original. The criticism is loaded with that crucial dose of ‘hear me out’ that is sadly lacking in 90% of all other reviewers out there. Efka & Elaine are no GoggleBox reviewers, they are the real deal - they genuinely understand how games work and why. The sheer moral turmoil that Efka expressed over the cultural issues in Rising Sun was some of the most thoughtful YouTube content I have ever seen. I just wanted to do a little shout out to Johannes & Sunniva at BOARD GAMING RAMBLINGS - I don’t have as much to say as they are relatively new on my radar, but I have really enjoyed their content so far and find them to be like one of those adorable gaming couples that you might see every once in a while at your gaming group and have a blast with, and then not see for months and go “Awh - I really miss Johannes & Sunniva - where’d they go?” that feeling, you know the one. Adorable, with a hint of the esoteric. Also, a quick but important mention to the other titan of boardgame rules explanation that is Paul Grogan of GAMING RULES!. Like Rodney Smith, Paul is meticulous about rules explanation and is really clear and simple to follow, even for very heavy games, which Paul tends to do more of than Rodney, which is probably why I end up watching Paul slightly less, but certainly not for any less quality. Paul has such a reputation in the industry that he now works closely with many designers and publishers to help craft the best rulebooks around as a consultant. So that’s it - congrats for making it through folks. Didn’t think it was going to run this long, but turns out.... I quite like a lot of the YouTubers I watch - who knew? Until next time... happy gaming y’all.

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cadykeus-clay · 4 years

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TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WILDEMOUNT BASTARD

HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEEE :3 thank u for asking,,,, (under a cut because I , uh. Well. I said infodump and it sure is one)

so, his name is nissyras, nissy to his …. peers? friends is too strong of a word for most of the people he associates with. he’s an echo knight drow from den tasithar (the same den as that guy that fjord bullied in jail) and that means he’s a Spoiled Brat. He’s an absolute bitch and an idiot and expects people to make room for him because that’s how he’s lived his whole life and he does Not know how to handle being in a place that doesn’t automatically know he’s a revered, chosen soul.

But, you know, if his life was so cushy and dandy in the Dynasty, why’d he leave? Well, he had severe younger sibling syndrome, with his older sister Leth being a dunamancy prodigy and really good at den politics and nissy having 9 wisdom and 5 charisma (including his racial charisma bonus) and being pretty damn bad at both of those. He was also considered the scourge of the family because he refused to get into a politically beneficial arranged marriage, instead having a bunch of couple month flings (which is basically a one night stand for elves with multiple lifetimes) with people from all over Rosohna, and not all even from den or den-adjacent families. people who would never get consecuted.

One such fling was a common drow girl, Mavryen, but then months turned into five years (which again, not that long for immortal elves but substantially longer than any of nissy’s other relationships). They decided to elope to the greying wildlands, to get away from the pressures of the dynasty and the hierarchy of dens that kept trying to pull them apart. Nissy and Mavy fled one night, and spent about two months travelling, eventually ending up in Uthodern.

There, Mavy laid eyes on a dwarf woman and realized for the first time in her life what attraction actually felt like, and immediately walked out of the elopement. She left Nissy positively heartbroken. And in a huge predicament, because there’s absolutely No Way for him to go home now without being shamed for lifetimes.

Not to worry though, he has a brilliant plan. Go on a couple adventures, get roughed up, maybe a cool face scar or two, and THEN go home, in glory, with battle trophies to prove himself a skilled dunemantic fighter to rival his sister AND with a story to tell about the beast that tragically killed his dear Mavy, which he then tracked down and destroyed in a heartbroken rage.

Slight problem though, Nissy is a slut, and he’s already got a new boyfriend, Zier.

Pros of Zier: also a drow, also a noble, very hot.

Cons of Zier: raised to believe that selfishness and mistrust are the most important virtues, because that’s how you survive, can’t stand Nissy, Nissy can’t stand him, both too stubborn to dump each other, both secretly cheating on each other with their fellow party mate, Nakoria.

So this is where the module picks up, and boy howdy it has been a RIDE. we picked a module about a mysterious disease spreading through the Greying Wildlands that we have to dungeon crawl to find the cure for (ironic timing, we know). The terrible trio (Nissy, Zier, and Nakoria) are constantly trying to puppy dog eye their way into just Getting things and wouldn’t ya know it! It doesn’t work! And then they cry about it to each other, while the rest of the party slowly plots their demise.

For the most part, Nissy’s had a fine time. Like, it’s upsetting that he has to stay in lodgings that don’t even have a cook, and the frogs in the caves were easily bribed with food so he didn’t even get a cool fight or anything. The creepy cave dwarf was not intimidated by him, and then she went down really easy so he didn’t even get to be majestic in battle with her. But at least he convinced the party to put her into the 10 foot deep hole trap that she had left for them as retribution. Also, the pay for these quests is Paltry, and now they’re on a BOAT instead of an airship to travel to Eiselcross and it’s honestly pitiful. At least he’s not actively getting beat up by the other party members like Zier is, because Zier’s an idiot who doesn’t know how to shut his beautiful hot lips.

But you know, adventuring is rugged sometimes. He’ll deal with it. And he’s helping to save people which, he does recognize at its core is a good thing. And he’d do it even without the reward. But there is a reward, and he will be getting it at the end of this, because he’s been through A Lot of inconvenience with absolutely no gore or glory to show for it.

So silly me, the player, thinks we are just gonna play the module as written. But then last session, our wonderful amazing DM sends me a private message right before we close. Nissy has gotten a sending from Leth, his sister, begging him to come home for her wedding in two months. And let me tell you, i was NOT expecting them to pull backstories out and it blew my tits clear off and i am THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because now the stakes are SO much higher for nissy, he can’t come home to his sister being married (or worse, for her wedding, although it’ll kill him not be there) without Mavy and no good explanation. So he’s about to get SO much more reckless and at level 2, having rolled dookie shit on my hit dice, we may just be looking at my Second PC character death in what was supposed to be a fun chill campaign (I also died and came back as a revenant in humblewoods, the cute woodland animals module sdhfsdfudsf)

Anyways thank u for asking about my boy i hate him so much it’s great

#asks #if ur in this campaign with me don't read the last 2 paragraphs theres secrets inthere

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dogbearinggifts · 5 years

Text

Little Tyrants, Chapter Two: Worth the Whiskey

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: When Vanya was four, Reginald Hargreeves visited her cell. But not to take her powers away. Just to let her know he could. Just to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her powers were a privilege he could rescind should she ever choose not to fall in line.

Years later, the old man is dead—and the last sibling Vanya wants to see has reappeared in the Academy courtyard.

This work is also available on AO3.

Prologue Chapter One

Author’s note: Sorry this chapter took so long, everyone. I’d hoped to update more frequently, but life intervened and…well, here we are. If you’d like to read the asks that inspired this story, you can find them here and here, as well as under the tags “vanya keeps her powers au” and “five returns as a kid au.”

This chapter title is adapted from Cole Swindell’s song “Ain’t Worth the Whiskey.”

***********

“You okay here?”

“Yeah.”

Luther opened his arms slightly, and Five slid to the floor. Klaus had never considered, in the sixteen years he’d been missing, just how small Five was. Not that the fact itself had eluded him—old pictures resurfaced in tabloids or narrative magazines from time to time, proving they’d all been a hell of a lot shorter back when they were still in Dad’s clutches—but it hadn’t struck him as something worth noticing when he’d stumbled into the courtyard. Now, watching him glance around in bewilderment beside a twin nearly twice his height, Klaus couldn’t think about much else.

“Where’s Mom?” Luther asked. “Thought you were gonna get her.”

“I—” The rest of Diego’s retort collapsed when he saw who was—and wasn’t—in the kitchen. “Shit. Mom!”

They’d lost Allison somewhere between the courtyard and the kitchen, when she’d announced her intent to get some towels. Luther had carried Five in, cradled in his arms lest walking worsen whatever condition led him to collapse in the courtyard. Diego jogged out of the kitchen, retracing their steps through the corridor in search of the one who could provide some guidance. Klaus stood by the sink and racked his brain for something, anything he could say.

Five wasn’t wearing his Academy uniform. Not unexpected—he’d never been fond of those starched collars and plaid sweater vests—but he’d always joked about replacing that uniform with everything from jeans and a T-shirt to a tuxedo paired with evening gloves and a billowing cape. Maybe it was the leftover high or the cognac haze clouding his thoughts, but Klaus couldn’t conjure a single reason why Five might have paired scuffed boots and a heavy jacket with sturdy jeans and a pair of aviator-style goggles around his neck.

“You, uh, you need anything?” Luther asked.

Five shrugged. To say he had always smiled before his disappearance would be a misstatement. He’d frowned. He’d grouched. He’d cried for the minute or two it took to realize he’d been seen, the second or two it took for his face to twist and for him to slink off down the hall. But there had always been a glimmer of mischief behind those eyes, a flicker within his expression. Whether harsh with fury or gentle with laughter, Klaus couldn’t recall a time when that light had gone out.

Until now.

“Klaus, could you get him some water?”

Somewhere toward the back of his mind, a flicker of irritation sparked to life. Luther had come up with the idea. Luther knew what he wanted done. Luther could get the damn water himself. But the annoyance was dim to begin with, and died with another glance at Five dripping rainwater onto the tile. Without a word, Klaus went to the cupboard and retrieved a glass.

Allison brushed past before the glass was completely full; and by the time he turned around, Five was reaching for a towel from the stack Allison carried. She plucked one and shook it out as though to dry him off herself; then, with a small and apologetic smile, she placed it in Five’s hands. Klaus set the glass on the table, fought again for something to say, gave up and snagged a towel instead.

He needed another drink.

He couldn’t carry Five up to his room or calm him with four small words. He couldn’t run a few tests and determine what had happened and what Five needed to recover, and he wasn’t the one headed off to corral the one who could chart a course for the healing process. Getting a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water was about the extent of Klaus’ contributions, and he’d done that already. No one would notice if he headed upstairs and went to town on the liquor cabinet. Allison might say something if he popped a pill or two right then and there, but she wouldn’t cause a scene. It would be expected from him.

The longer he watched Five sip from the glass he’d poured, the more he needed to leave. The longer he watched, the less he wanted to leave.

“Where’s Vanya?”

That was from Luther, naturally. Klaus couldn’t say when or how he’d forgotten Vanya’s feelings toward her family, but maybe the Moon erased memories. “Where do you think she is?”

“I don’t know, Klaus. That’s why I asked.”

Klaus hadn’t seen her separate from their group, wasn’t sure if she’d split off before or after Allison had gone off for towels, but the relative peace in the kitchen should have been enough to let Luther know her absence was not to be questioned. “Well, if we’re lucky, maybe she’ll just stay…wherever the hell she is. Oh! You think we could camp out down here? Roast some marshmallows, sing a couple songs? O Vanya, please stay away from us….”

Impromptu performances like that tended to earn flat looks and rolled eyes from most of his siblings, and threats from Vanya, but he’d hoped it might raise at least a small smile from Five. No dice. Five looked down into his glass, holding it in both hands, without so much as a hint of a smile or a chuckle.

Nice going. Allison didn’t say it. She didn’t need to, with the amount of impatience and contempt she crammed into that one glance. He’d messed up, said exactly the wrong thing at just the wrong time, and there was no recovering, no going back.

Of course, he’d known as much before that look of hers. No need to drive it home with the glare of death.

“Well, fine.” Klaus stepped forward, opening a cupboard. A canister of rolled oats was the first thing he saw, and so a canister of rolled oats was what he grabbed. “If you fine folks don’t appreciate good performance art like an audience with sense, I shall take my leave.”

Giving his coat the most dramatic swish he could manage, Klaus strode out the door.

*********

If liquor preference was a personality trait, then Dad’s taste was one of his few redeeming qualities.

Like most objects in the Academy, Dad’s alcohol supply was less an amassing of ingredients and more of a collection. Port and sherry shared a shelf with more varieties of red wine than Vanya cared to count, more types of white than she wanted to taste. Not that she opposed wine on principle, but the sight of so many bottles and so many shades, each promising a different flavor and composition and all the other things wine junkies raved about, brought a twinge of embarrassment when she remembered the five-gallon box she’d purchased because it was red and she’d bought white last time.

But then, nobody could tell the difference between cheap and expensive wine anyway. She wasn’t unrefined. Just honest.

Vanya turned from the wines and toward those promising a shorter path toward inebriation. A half-empty bottle of tequila and a nearly full bottle of mezcal sat a few inches from peppermint schnapps and two different types of rum. Closer to her sat scotches and bourbons nestled beside the whiskeys.

Every label bore the name of a place she knew. Scotland. Jalisco. Kentucky. Each name conjured up a different image, borrowed from a different mission with a different objective and outcome. Dad had sent her and she’d gone in, done what the situation demanded of her, and left with snatches of scenery she liked and memories she didn’t. Each city had its own personality, but there came a point when they blended into each other, leaving her uncertain whether El Paso or Tucson had the hotel with a mosaic tile entrance, or if it was Paris or Amsterdam with the houses she liked. Glances through the sort of books ordinary people kept on their coffee tables cleared a few things up, but there were better things to do than relive what only Dad would call the glory days.

Behind the Canadian whiskeys, and between those boasting an origin in Tennessee, was a single bottle announcing itself as Wyoming Whiskey in no-nonsense letters. After a moment’s study, Vanya poured herself a glass. If she was going to try and erode unwanted memories old and new, a drink from a place she’d never visited seemed the best way to start.

Footsteps approached sometime after the end of the first drink and the beginning of the second. Vanya downed the rest in a few quick swallows. If it was Diego coming to tell her off for not being there for Five, she’d need to steel herself; if it was Five himself, she’d need to clear her glass for another pour.

Klaus rounded a corner, skirt swishing about his ankles as he came to a halt. It had been some months since she’d seen him, and then out in the open and at a distance. Perhaps that was why he seemed thinner than she remembered, collarbone protruding above his bare chest, feathered cuffs dangling over too-slender wrists. He’d tucked an open canister of rolled oats into the crook of one arm; a few oats slipped from his clenched fist and fluttered to the floor. He let out a laugh when he saw her, as though she’d made a joke. As though he were happy to see her.

Vanya added twice the recommended amount to her glass.

“Well, well, well.” He let his handful of oats fall back into the canister and sauntered forward—she couldn’t tell if he was staggering or not—and set the oats on the counter. “And here I thought I was the only one breaking into Dear Old Dad’s liquor cabinet.”

Vanya sniffed. Klaus’ presence demanded she down the whole glass in one swallow, pain be damned, but she settled for a sip. “I’m not breaking into anything. It’s right out in the open.”

Klaus had a way of moving like a slinky, swaying one direction only to fold himself around a corner and past whatever obstructed his path. In one stride, maybe two, he was behind the bar, hand on a bottle of bourbon. “Amazing there’s anything left.”

“Yeah, with you around.”

Within seconds, Klaus’ glass held more bourbon than it should have. Not quite as much as hers—but if he’d had to cope with someone like him, he’d have ditched the glass and drank straight from the bottle. “Oh, right, ‘cause I’m the one who ran up here to get drunk soon as everybody was in the house.”

“And you were completely sober when I got here.”

There was that laugh again, the infuriating giggle that made her want to send a bottle of vodka crashing onto his head. “You really think I’m gonna do a family reunion without a little help?” He took a swallow of bourbon. “Figured you’d get it.”

Vanya’s fingers tightened on the glass. She wasn’t like him. This world he’d constructed in his head, where she was just a shadow of what he was—it was a fantasy. He spent his days wandering the streets or bouncing from rehab to rehab. She worked, and the money she brought in went toward her apartment, her clothes, her food. She spent her days coaching kids through basic chords, cooking and cleaning, playing in the city’s orchestra. She wouldn’t have earned first chair if she’d devoted what remained of her life to the next fix.

A high, sharp noise commanded her attention. Looking took only a second, but by the time she did, the glass had cracked beneath her fingers, webs of spindly lines spreading out and up. Another side effect of Klaus’ presence.

“I think you should leave now.”

Klaus downed half his liquor in one swallow, planting the glass firmly on the counter. A few drops came close to splashing out, but the counter remained dry. “I think you need another drink, if you’re just gonna get your panties in a twist over everything.”

He was needling her, poking her skin over and over until he found what caused the most pain. For what, she couldn't say. Perhaps he was so enamored with Five’s return that he simply could not comprehend why she hadn’t followed to the kitchen to wait on him hand and foot. Perhaps he was still angry over her last refusal to let him crash at her place. That had been years ago, but Klaus was just the sort to hold a grudge for that long.

She could lash back, with words or force. A few sharp retorts already came to mind, but they might not land the way they should. Klaus’ quest to rid himself of powers Dad had never thought to take from him had apparently robbed him of his faculties, if his incessant giggling was any indication, and there was little point in an insult that slid off like water from a tarp. The Academy had never been a noisy place, but what few sounds there were—air rushing through the vents, the creaking of old boards—already tempted her.

And Klaus remained, with no trace of fear.

“I’ve had kind of a rough day,” she said, setting the cracked glass in the sink slowly and deliberately, so as not to throw it the way she longed to.

Klaus’s mouth formed a round O of mock surprise and he clapped his hands to his cheeks. “Me too! Weird, huh? Us both having the worst day ever at the same time?”

Vanya clenched her teeth. He was like the cockroaches at a place she’d lived, one of the few complexes she was grateful to be blacklisted from. Lay out traps and they’d skirt around them. Stomp on them and they’d avoid your boot. Spray them with Raid and they’d roll onto their backs long enough, only long enough, to make you think you’d won. Long enough to make their swift return all the more infuriating. “I don’t want to break anything worse than a glass, is all I’m saying.”

“Why? Afraid the cops might come? Afraid they might send you to—” He put a hand to his mouth, covering a gasp too melodramatic to be genuine, and looked to left and right before continuing in a stage whisper. “Therapy?”

Vanya felt the cracks in her discarded glass spread and splinter before she ever heard it. She wanted to let it shatter—no, she wanted to make it shatter, send a hundred jagged shards exploding out from the sink to embed themselves in the wall, the counter, Klaus’ skin; to strike other bottles like bullets and send their contents cascading.

“You don’t understand.”

“No! I mean, Sitting on a comfy couch for a whole hour while some lady in an ugly-ass pantsuit listens to your problems?” He shook his head in mock amazement, adding more bourbon to his glass. “It’s a miracle we’re at Dad’s funeral. You should’ve just—”

He blew a raspberry, pointing his thumb to the floor.

Another crack spread through the glass, and another. He didn’t see. Didn’t know the humiliation of walking into that office, week after week. Couldn’t comprehend the misery of hearing mistakes inflated and exaggerated, balled up and thrown back in her face whenever she tried to explain herself. He couldn’t know the recurring sting of walking past her favorite coffee shop—a place that had once pulled her into an embrace of scents both earthy and sweet—knowing that the police would be called if she so much as crossed the street to reminisce from the wrong side of the window. If anyone under the Academy roof spared an ounce of sympathy for her, it should have been him. He, at least, knew what it was to have his faults paraded before police and judges and dismissed with no regard for what it was to be in his shoes.

She should have known that was too much to ask of him.

The glass was all but destroyed now; there was little point in leaving it whole. The sink would absorb most of the damage, and while a few shards would fly out, Klaus had learned to dodge. He knew what he faced if he failed to. He couldn’t call the police without risking his own skin.

Yet a part of her, a small part of her, whispered that he just might be insane enough to try.

The canister flew across the room to smack against a formation of bottles, knocking them over with a crash. Liquor spilled over the counter and onto the floor, sweeping up oats in the flow. Vanya turned on her heel, not giving Klaus the satisfaction of one last grin.

********

“That could’ve gone better.”

“Yeah, you think?” Klaus downed the rest of his bourbon and regarded the bottles still standing. The accidental cocktail Vanya had created with her little tantrum wouldn’t be tasty—especially not with oats floating in it and faint remnants of floor cleaner offering a different kind of intoxication—but all of those liquors together would get him drunk faster than anything he could mix on his own.

Well. Drunker.

Klaus didn’t sway as he straightened and headed for the tequila. He wasn’t quite to that point, though he sensed its approach.

“Seriously?”

“Hey, you try dealing with Vanya sober.” He opened the bottle, raising his voice in a mocking imitation of Vanya’s. “Oh, look at me, I wreck some coffee shop and have to not go to prison, everyone needs to be sad for me.”

“Oh, you mean like my entire life? And afterlife, so far?”

“So far?” Klaus grinned, raising both eyebrows. “What are you not telling me, Ben?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.” He poured a shot of tequila and tossed it down. “If there’s drunkenness after death, you really need to tell me. This could change everything.”

“You really think I’d tell you something like that?”

“Some brother you are.”

“Said the guy who left Five to come get shitfaced.”

The sting was sharp, as if Ben had slapped him across the cheek. Klaus poured another shot and downed it without breaking eye contact, but when he set the glass down he had to look away. He tried for some remark glib enough to set Ben on a different course, but nothing came to mind in time.

“Bet you can still catch up with him.”

It wasn’t the first time the thought had occurred to Klaus, but he hadn’t allowed it to take root in his mind with this level of clarity. Go back to the kitchen, or track Five to wherever the others had brought him. Apologize for whatever it was he’d said wrong—more than one thing, probably, though he could only think of the one. See if Five wanted to go flip off Dad’s urn for a while. Let Five watch him stagger down the stairs, sway in the door, smell the alcohol on his breath. The others, Diego and Luther and Allison—they might not understand, but they expected it. They’d seen it before.

A part of him whispered that Five would see it sooner or later, that maybe he’d already extrapolated from those moments he’d caught Klaus at the bar when they were kids, those times he’d given Klaus the cover he needed to sneak out for his next fix. It didn’t matter, or wouldn’t matter. Sobriety was little more than a punchline around him, and it was only a matter of time before Five saw the joke.

He straightened, swallowed the last of the tequila in his glass, fished for a cigarette in his pocket and lit it. He took a long drag, closing his eyes as he exhaled. It wasn’t’ the first time he’d smoked in the Academy, not by far, but usually Dad or Pogo would come barreling around the corner seconds after his lighter clicked on. This time, there was only silence. Blissful, smoke-filled silence. He leaned against the island, allowing each breath to carry off more of Vanya’s lingering presence.

He wasn’t sure how long it was before the edge of the counter began digging into his back, before the floor began to press against his feet through the thin soles of his shoes, before the weight of the items in his coat reminded him of where he could be and what he could be getting. A pang of guilt accompanied the last thought, regardless of the facts. He wasn’t needed at the Academy. He’d probably sent Five into a tailspin with whatever it was he’d said. The memorial service seemed to have been forgotten for the time being; even if he were missing when it began, his absence wouldn’t be lamented or questioned too heavily. The more he considered it, the more he itched for what those items would buy him.

He’d be leaving Five again. Leaving him not in the kitchen, but there in the Academy while he was off elsewhere in the city; but Five wouldn’t be alone. Might not even notice he was gone.

“Klaus?”

Five’s voice was too soft, too uncertain, but it still gave Klaus a start and he nearly dropped his cigarette.

“Christ on a cracker,” he breathed, glancing down at the floor. Still a safe enough distance from the spilled alcohol that a lit cigarette wouldn’t send a puddle of flame racing up the cabinets, but closer than he would have liked. He sucked in a breath and turned to Five, plastering on a smile. “What’re you doing up here?”

Five didn’t answer. He’d changed into his pajamas—which were drier than what he’d been wearing, and in better shape, but Klaus could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen any of his siblings wearing pajamas in the middle of the day. In each instance, they’d been sick enough to get out of training, sick enough to remain in their rooms instead of joining the rest of the family for silent meals and Dad’s droning records. Five was still walking on his own two feet, his skin lacking the pallor it had held on those days; but Klaus didn’t recall him being so thin when he’d left.

How long had he stood just out of sight?

“Dad’s not here, is he.”

There were two answers: the tactful one, and the direct one. The tactful one was more up Allison’s alley, requiring more gentle words and roundabout phrasings than Klaus had in his arsenal. It was probably more akin to what Five needed, closer to what he’d like to hear, but Klaus had already stalled long enough.

“Died a little over a week ago.”

Five nodded slowly. If there was any surprise in his expression, Klaus couldn’t see it. “He…he probably would’ve walked out when I showed up, huh?”

And done a lot more than that, Klaus thought, but didn’t say as much. Five must have known he’d have been hauled off to one of those rooms everyone hated, held there until he’d divulged every secret he’d brought back with him, had Dad occupied the Academy. “We can go flip off his urn for a while, if you want.”

Five didn’t smile, or even meet Klaus’ gaze. He’d said the wrong thing again. Made a joke when Five needed something else, something Allison or Luther or even Diego would be better suited to offer. Something Klaus couldn’t muster, not even when it was needed. Especially not when it was needed.

“Where’s Ben?”

If Ben’s remark had been a slap, Five’s question was like a punch to the gut. He had to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t form and he couldn’t muster even an I don’t know or a Why do you ask? He could only struggle, through the fog and the emotions that one question dredged up, to say anything at all.

Five dropped his gaze, biting his lip. He didn’t sink to the floor or look for a place to sit down. He didn’t let out a cry or suck in a breath. Klaus watched him crumple all the same.

“Hey, it—” He started forward, barely remembering to put out his cigarette before Five fell into his arms.

Maybe he should have expected it. Over a decade stood between him and Ben’s death. No one would say he’d used them well, and if pressed he wouldn’t disagree; but he’d still had them. Ten years to let the dust settle and the blood dry. Ten years to accept that Ben’s clothes no longer occupied the closet, that no one would set a place for him whenever they were allowed back into the Academy. Ten years of hearing his voice, watching him roll his eyes and try in vain to block access to his stash, of being the only one to know he would never really go away. For all Five knew, Ben’s face should have been among those who greeted him upon his return.

He returned the hug awkwardly, too awkwardly, running a hand along Five’s back. Tears shook his bony frame, and Klaus wanted to kick himself for not hunting down Allison to answer that question. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

“How?”

Ben no longer leaned against the bar. He had a way of doing that, of stepping around while your back was turned to show up in the last place you wanted to see him. This time, though, Klaus didn’t mind the sight of him, the look he got—or the clear instructions it carried.

“I mean, it’s not like he’s gone.”

Five pulled away, and the hope in his eyes made Klaus want to shrivel up and disappear.

Ben smiled a bit, raising a hand in greeting. “Hey, Five.”

“He says hi.”

*******

Vanya should have brought the whiskey along.

Her anger hadn’t quite burned away when she reached the top of the stairs, but it had calmed enough for her thoughts to turn to things other than Klaus’ exaggerated smiles and mocking words; and they turned to that bottle on the counter. She should have grabbed it before storming off—or if not that bottle specifically, then another close to it. Something strong, something she could keep all to herself. Something that would get her to the memorial service in one piece.

If her siblings still planned on holding a service.

She found her old bedroom less by intent and more by muscle memory, and it hadn’t changed much from the day she’d left. The furniture was gone, shuttled off to her first apartment and then the next; as were her clothes, which had been added to over the years. It would have been an empty room, devoid of the personality she’d lent it, but there were small signs, little memories here and there. A length of blue ribbon she’d once worn to a press briefing snaked across the floor. The green hair tie she’d thought had been lost in the move lay in one corner, grey with dust. Along the wall adjacent to her window Vanya could just make out little patches where the drywall was ever so slightly uneven, marking the places where, in retaliation for being sent to her room, she’d driven holes into her wall to spell out an obscene message. Dad had barged in before she’d finished the first word.

She ran a hand along the windowsill, catching dust on her fingertips. It wasn’t surprising that Dad’s memorial service had stalled—in the back of her mind, she’d expected Diego or Klaus to delay it somehow, though she hadn’t written off Allison as a potential culprit—but she hadn’t thought it would stall indefinitely. Yet here she was, waiting for her siblings to stop doting on Five long enough to put their dead father to rest.

Vanya looked to the wall again. For a moment she considered finishing the word, leaving it as a parting gift for whenever she was allowed to walk out of the Academy without Dad’s unread will hanging over her head. But then, it would’ve been just like Dad to turn something about willful destruction of childhood bedroom into a condition.

She closed the door behind her and stepped into the hall, seeing no one, but Five’s room stood open. Maybe someone had been there in minutes past; maybe Mom had left it open for whatever reason. Vanya couldn’t say and couldn’t bring herself to care. He’d be moving back into it soon—but then, once the memorial service was over and done with, she’d be back in her own apartment, away from that room and its occupant.

A short walk took her back down to the entryway and then the common room, but that wasn’t where the voices led her. One she recognized as Klaus, the other as Five—but the cheer in Klaus’ voice seemed more genuine now, the simmering resentment she’d caught now missing.

“So I’m just there in my book fort, minding my own business, and the librarian walks over and she’s all ‘Sir, you need to put these on a cart.’ And I’m all ‘Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to just build a new one instead of putting this whole thing on a cart?’”

“Maybe she just wanted you to put the books away?”

“That’s what Ben said, but I dunno. That fort was awesome.”

Ben. Her breath caught. Asking her to name a favorite sibling was like asking her to name a favorite toothache, but some toothaches hurt less than others. Some could be almost pleasant, when they wanted to be.

And some left a different sort of pain when they went away.

“What books did you use?”

“What books did I—Five. I built a fort. Out of books. Had turrets, a moat and everything. That’s all you need to know.”

Rather than pressing Klaus for more details, Five turned his gaze to the armchair. “What’d he use, Ben? You remember?”

Klaus rolled his eyes and began listing off titles, but Vanya barely heard them past the pounding of her own heart. Ben wasn’t there—or at least, he wasn’t where Klaus could see him, and that was by design. The ghosts he alone could see, the ghosts he alone could command, were evidently far more frightening than the poisons he forced into his system and the people and laws he trampled to get them. The substances he favored were still there. His powers were gone—and here he was, playing the medium. Speaking for the dead when the dead no longer spoke to him. Using Ben as a prop to tell an asinine story about himself.

“Don’t.”

Allison’s voice was soft, but Vanya stopped in her tracks. Her sister sat on the stairs, just out of the light cast from the sitting room.

“Are you hearing this?”

Allison bowed her head for a few seconds. When she raised it, there was sorrow in her eyes—but also a glint of steel Vanya had rarely seen outside of particularly nasty missions.

“Don’t take this from him.”

“Take what? A lie?”

Allison stood, mouth tight. She took a few steps forward, but didn’t come close to bridging the gap between them.

“I don’t care what it is.” Her voice had grown softer, scarcely rising above a whisper, but no less stern for it. “You’re going to let him have this.”

A stab of fear went through her. Allison hadn’t referenced those four words, but the threat was there, carried on a tone addressing her as a child. A child who needed to be put in her place. “Or what?”

She didn’t answer, but the glare she leveled on her way into the common room was enough.

************

Chapter One

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy fanfic #tua fanfic #vanya keeps her powers au #five returns as a kid au #little tyrants #vanya hargreeves #five hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #alcoholism #implied/referenced alcohol abuse #implied/referenced drug abuse

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tocinephile · 4 years

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The Morning After - The Year the Oscars Got it (mostly) Right Edition

The 92nd Academy Awards kicked off looking an awful lot like the Grammy’s with a splashy musical performance by Janelle Monae and Billy Porter, the first of a night’s performances/presenters/commentary designed to include all the groups it seemingly excluded in it’s nominees list. Meant to poke fun at themselves or a gesture delivered a little too overt and a little too late? Either way, I think in the end, the artistry of the South Korean-made foreign language film that swept the night’s awards won one back for every group that was overlooked.

Bong Joon-ho’s Parasite took home awards for Best Original Screenplay, Best International Feature, Best Director, and Best Picture, making it the first South Korean film to win in all these categories. To do it all in a single evening is astounding.

Here’s a look at all the winners of the night:

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Best Picture:

“Ford v Ferrari” — Walt Disney “The Irishman” — Netflix “Jojo Rabbit” — Fox Searchlight “Joker” — Warner Bros. “Little Women” — Sony Pictures Releasing “Marriage Story” — Netflix “1917” — Universal/Amblin Partners “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” — Sony Pictures Releasing “Parasite” — Neon (WINNER)

Most deserving win of the night!!! Of course many of us hoped Parasite could be the underdog to win it all, but a more realistic prediction to win would be 1917. Thrilled to be wrong on this one.

Also, while I liked 1917 (more for its execution than story), even if Parasite had not been in the mix, I would have been rooting for The Irishman to win.

Lead Actress:

Cynthia Erivo, “Harriet” Scarlett Johansson, “Marriage Story” Saoirse Ronan, “Little Women” Charlize Theron, “Bombshell” Renée Zellweger, “Judy” (WINNER)

I am also in full agreement with this category and with Renee sweeping this category this awards season as well.

I have not seen Harriet, but if Renee hadn’t been in the race, Charlize would have been the best of the bunch.

Lead Actor:

Antonio Banderas, “Pain and Glory” Leonardo DiCaprio, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” Adam Driver, “Marriage Story” Joaquin Phoenix, “Joker” — (WINNER) Jonathan Pryce, “The Two Popes”

Again, no question this was the right winner. If only every win didn’t mean we’d have to roll the dice to see what kind of acceptance speech we’d have to endure... While I didn’t appreciate being chastised for adding milk to my coffee, Joaquin closed out his remarks by quoting his late brother River and I thought that was beautiful.

Director:

Martin Scorsese, “The Irishman” Todd Phillips, “Joker” Sam Mendes, “1917” Quentin Tarantino, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” Bong Joon Ho, “Parasite” — (WINNER)

Another category that I thought the Academy would give to Sam Mendes, but nonetheless put my bets on Bong Joon-ho. Some big competition in this category (except Phillips... sorry, I’m not saying he’s bad, but he has yet to prove to me he’s a contender).

Original Song:

“I Can’t Let You Throw Yourself Away,” “Toy Story 4” “I’m Gonna Love Me Again,” “Rocketman” — (WINNER) “I’m Standing With You,” “Breakthrough” “Into the Unknown,” “Frozen 2” “Stand Up,” “Harriet”

Talk about a year of forgettable film songs. I think I left the room for every one of these performances except Elton’s. Did I miss anything?

Original Score:

“Joker,” Hildur Guðnadóttir — (WINNER) “Little Women,” Alexandre Desplat “Marriage Story,” Randy Newman “1917,” Thomas Newman “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” John Williams

As part of the montage for this category, the orchestra accompanies with each film’s original score. This segment, as they proudly pointed out, was being conducted a female for the first time in Oscar history (I’d like to shallowly add that she was also wearing the most amazing gold jacket to do it!). Now I don’t know if she also arranged it or whether she was just conducting, but I have to say, I don’t think the arrangement did the scores any justice whatsoever.

Luckily they were not being judged on this particular performance, and Hildur Guonadottir once again took home the accolade for Joker. I agree with this win. Little Women and 1917 also had impressive scores. Marriage Story didn’t particularly catch my attention, and while Star Wars’ themes will always be among my all time favourites, The Rise of Skywalker wasn’t particularly outstanding out of the saga.

Best International Feature Film:

“Corpus Christi,” Jan Komasa “Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov “Les Miserables,” Ladj Ly “Pain and Glory,” Pedro Almodóvar “Parasite,” Bong Joon Ho — (WINNER)

If anyone else had won we would have rioted right?

Makeup and Hair:

“Bombshell” — (WINNER) “Joker” “Judy” “Maleficent: Mistress of Evil” “1917”

Got this prediction correct, while not the most obvious frontrunner perhaps, a lot of subtle effort was put in to transform cast into their characters.

Visual Effects:

“Avengers: Endgame” “The Irishman” “The Lion King” “1917” — (WINNER) “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”

It’s naive of me, but seeing 1917 win for Visual Effects almost takes away from my appreciation of the film in some ways because in my head, I’d still like to think of all films outside of fantasy and sci-fi as largely real. I know it’s not the case and that even your average period drama is created largely with effects these days, it can’t help but ruin the magic a little.

Also I had guessed Avengers: Endgame would win.

And we all think that The Irishman is on this list for de-aging technologies alone right?

Film Editing:

“Ford v Ferrari,” Michael McCusker, Andrew Buckland — (WINNER) “The Irishman,” Thelma Schoonmaker “Jojo Rabbit,” Tom Eagles “Joker,” Jeff Groth “Parasite,” Jinmo Yang

This entire list is on par with each other I think, with Ford v Ferrari just edging out the rest. Also the editing is what made the film so dynamic, there was little room for a bad cut, whereas the others might have little bit more room to err.

Many might disagree but I think Little Women should have been considered in this category. The film’s editing choices was one of its main criticisms, but I think it actually made the film much more dynamic and differentiated it from previous adaptations. (If only they’d used a bit more of The Irishman’s aging/de-aging effects)

Cinematography:

“The Irishman,” Rodrigo Prieto “Joker,” Lawrence Sher “The Lighthouse,” Jarin Blaschke “1917,” Roger Deakins — (WINNER) “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Robert Richardson

Agree! Cool camera work in 1917 for sure.

Sound Mixing:

“Ad Astra” “Ford v Ferrari” “Joker” “1917” — (WINNER) “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”

Um ok, if you’re going to split the sound categories between two films. I would’ve said Ford v Ferrari for both.

Sound Editing:

“Ford v Ferrari,” Don Sylvester — (WINNER) “Joker,” Alan Robert Murray “1917,” Oliver Tarney, Rachel Tate “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Wylie Stateman “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” Matthew Wood, David Acord

Agree. Hopefully everyone who wanted to see this film caught it in theatres, the sound was a huge contributing factor to the enjoyment of this film.

Supporting Actress:

Kathy Bates, “Richard Jewell” Laura Dern, “Marriage Story” — (WINNER) Scarlett Johansson, “Jojo Rabbit” Florence Pugh, “Little Women” Margot Robbie, “Bombshell”

Little surprise when Laura Dern swept this category, even though I maintain she wasn’t better than the rest. That said, I’m not sure who I would pick in her place, I say share the love between Laura Dern, Scarlett Johansson, and Florence Pugh (yes, I just said Amy March should get an oscar... I see the irony of this too)

Best Documentary Short Subject:

“In the Absence,” Yi Seung-Jun and Gary Byung-Seok Kam “Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone,” Carol Dysinger — (WINNER) “Life Overtakes Me,” Kristine Samuelson and John Haptas “St. Louis Superman,” Smriti Mundhra and Sami Khan “Walk Run Cha-Cha,” Laura Nix

I didn’t see any of the shorts this year, my bad. The winner sounds hella interestering!

Best Documentary Feature:

“American Factory,” Julia Reichert, Steven Bognar — (WINNER) “The Cave,” Feras Fayyad “The Edge of Democracy,” Petra Costa “For Sama,” Waad Al-Kateab, Edward Watts “Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov

I only saw American Factory and The Cave and I actually liked The Cave better. That said I felt strongly that American Factory had the edge, for starters it was backed by the Obamas’ production company. I didn’t love American Factory but I do feel it’s a timely piece that shows two sides of the story, inevitable prejudices based on what we’ve become conditioned to physically, mentally, socially, and also how important it is that we try to overcome or build a bridge to find solutions for the greater good.

Costume Design:

”The Irishman,” Sandy Powell, Christopher Peterson “Jojo Rabbit,” Mayes C. Rubeo “Joker,” Mark Bridges “Little Women,” Jacqueline Durran — (WINNER) “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Arianne Phillips

For a historical drama, I really didn’t find the costumes of Little Women to be that spectacular (I’m having visions of The Age of Innocence when you say Best Costume), though a part of me knows the period films win more often than not. While I think Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is strong contender, Jojo Rabbit should have won.

Production Design:

“The Irishman,” Bob Shaw and Regina Graves “Jojo Rabbit,” Ra Vincent and Nora Sopkova “1917,” Dennis Gassner and Lee Sandales “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Barbara Ling & Nancy Haigh (WINNER) “Parasite,” Lee Ha-Jun and Cho Won Woo, Han Ga Ram and Cho Hee

Yes! Once Upon a Time was a bit overrated (sorry Quentin) but this was one category where it really deserved to win, from the western sets, film studio lots, to the wardrobe and streets of the 60′s, lots of fun and spirit captured in the production design.

Best Live Action Short Film:

“Brotherhood,” Meryam Joobeur “Nefta Football Club,” Yves Piat “The Neighbors’ Window,” Marshall Curry — (WINNER) “Saria,” Bryan Buckley “A Sister,” Delphine Girard

Adapted Screenplay:

“The Irishman,” Steven Zaillian “Jojo Rabbit,” Taika Waititi — (WINNER) “Joker,” Todd Phillips, Scott Silver “Little Women,” Greta Gerwig “The Two Popes,” Anthony McCarten

I love that Taika Waititi is an Oscar winner. Also shouts to Greta Gerwig for making Little Women almost tolerable in her script! The Two Popes could not have been an easy adaptation either. Now can a comic book expert please tell me, how much of Joker is really from existing stories in comics, and how much was filled in by the writers? I understand why it was an adapted screenplay, but I feel like material like this almost completely open to interpretation and could easily be written anew as an original screenplay.

Original Screenplay:

“Knives Out,” Rian Johnson “Marriage Story,” Noah Baumbach “1917,” Sam Mendes and Krysty Wilson-Cairns “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Quentin Tarantino “Parasite,” Bong Joon Ho, Jin Won Han — (WINNER)

Just for fun, my ranking of the original screenplay nominees from best to alright:

1) Parasite, 2) Knives Out, 3) Marriage Story, 4) 1917, 5) Once Upon a Time

Animated Short:

“Dcera,” Daria Kashcheeva “Hair Love,” Matthew A. Cherry — (WINNER) “Kitbull,” Rosana Sullivan “Memorable,” Bruno Collet “Sister,” Siqi Song

I keep hearing great things about this short!

Animated Feature:

“How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World,” Dean DeBlois “I Lost My Body,” Jeremy Clapin “Klaus,” Sergio Pablos “Missing Link,” Chris Butler “Toy Story 4,” Josh Cooley — (WINNER)

I clearly didn’t watch any animated films this year because I didn’t even know there were new How to Train Your Dragon and Toy Story films released.

Supporting Actor:

Tom Hanks, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” Anthony Hopkins, “The Two Popes” Al Pacino, “The Irishman” Joe Pesci, “The Irishman” Brad Pitt, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” — (WINNER)

Overall, if Brad Pitt sweeping this category means I get to hear at least one great speech per awards, then I’m ok with this. My personal ranking:

1) Al Pacino, 2) Joe Pesci, 3) Tom Hanks, 4) Brad Pitt, 5) Anthony Hopkins. I had to debate over Pacino and Pesci’s performances, I feel like this is one of the best problems in the world.

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Prior to the start of the show, I made a mess of notes about who I thought would win, who I thought should win, and shared my Oscar Pool Picks which were based on a mix of the two... My Oscar pool are an extremely knowledgeable bunch, and with 18/24, it only put me in a 3-way tie for third place (there were also three winners who split the winnings), I need to move back to the baby leagues!

If you were following my Twitter (or care to check in hindsight...@palindr0me) I also shared a little additional commentary and photos of some of my favourite dresses of the evening.

My personal top 3 moments during the Awards Ceremony were:

1) Every time Parasite won an award - Give this man all the statues he wants! lol

2) Billie Eilish’s rendition of Yesterday (I wish this was an actual recorded track so I could play it over and over)

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3) When Eminem took the stage at the end of a montage to perform “Lose Yourself” and my phone exploded with all these messages of “ Whaaat is happening???” LOL! Believe me friends, I was as confused as you were.

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Aaand, that’s a wrap on awards season! Looking forward to a new year and new decade in film!

#oscars #oscars2020

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borisbubbles · 5 years

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Eurovision 2010s: 55 - 51

55. fusedmarc - “Rain of revolution” Lithuania 2017

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[2017 Review here]

Who else? My love for Fusedmarc has become a BorisBubbles.tumblr calling card and come on, there’s no way I wouldn’t drag them this high. Two years later and I still cackle thoughout this song with the exact same vigor as I did two years back. 🤭 Now, I do understand that “Rain of revolution” is one of the worst 10 songs in this decade and... well, yeah, (yeah, yeahyeah NRG yeah yeah yeeeeaaah) that’s the entire point. If we lived in the universe where ESC entries can be compared to motion pictures, in which “Waterloo” is Citizen Kane and “A matter of time” is fucking Titanic, then “Rain of revolution” is The Room, for Viktorija and Denis posses the exact same endearing insanity, inscrutability and genius as Tommy Wiseau. And honestly, this song should be shown in movie theatres because it turned inteptitude into an artform. Reminder that fusedmarc were the only 2017 act to refuse PBC:UA’s offer for stand-in rehearsals because they were afraid Ukraine would fail at getting their ~vision across~ 😂😍

Reminder that this resulted in technical errors DURING THEIR LIVE PERFORMANCE. 😍

Reminder that they song is punctuated by endless YEAH YEAH YEAHs 😍

Reminder that they only won Eurovizijos Atranka because a diehard vegan facebook group found out that fusedmarc were *also* vegan and urged their lithuanian members to vote for them, allowing them to beat Aiste 😍

Reminder that Victorija styles herself after Little My from the Moomins 😍

Reminder that her diction is equivalent or worse to the English spoken in the Nekci Menij show. 😍

Reminder that Viktorija’s nail game is more on fleek than yours.😍

Remember that LIFE LIKE ROLLERCOASTEN, SPEENING MI ORAWND 😍

It’s all about MICKIN a start and let their light shine FRUUU U. So DANCE to the RIVEM of ur SOLE, chant ‘LIETUVA’ like that random woman does at the start of the performance (IS THIS THE SAME LITHUANIAN FRUMP who went all out during Belarus, because if so I may have found a soul sibling), end the reign of RevoLucian and look for the reason why hamster on the road. Life is like a rollercoaster and live it to the fullest.

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54. Tom Dice - “Me and my guitar” Belgium 2010

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I’ll be honest: As a Belgian, Tom Dice has a lot of emotional value for me. The year was 2010: Belgium hadn’t qualified for a final for six straight contests, sending failure after failure. Neither VRT had, until that point, shown any idea behind what they were doing, consistently picking the wrong songs during the national selections. RTBF meanwhile, didn’t even try, sending novelty acts they knew would never qualify. So, imagine being Belgian and seeing Tom get announced, fedora perched askew on his head, with a tepid guitar ballad and you’re like “oh MORE of the same, well bye 😬", except SURPRISE Tom is naturally charismatic and has a great voice and turns his by all standards generic song into an experience.

It’s the Todevska principle: Tom OUTSOLD. Is he the best entrant? No. Like many ESC alumni he entered the contest with his least good song. Is he the most exciting entrant? Far from it.

However isn’t it fair to state that we, Eurovision fans from Europe, have always had at least one dark age in our history with the contest? Periods where our supposed “best” wasn’t good enough? Periods where we struggled being proud of whom we were and where we came from. For someone to come out of nowhere and put you country back on the map after years of adversity, be it an ABBA, or a Bobbysocks! or a Tamara Todevksa, that makes for a magical rebirthing experience. Tom Dice is Belgium’s and I am #Proud of it.

oh and also the live owns dwi. 🤭

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53. Aram MP3 - “Not alone” Armenia 2014

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WOD EEF EETS ONLE WAN KEES!

Long before ASMR became a popular thing, Armenia send an entry that is only enjoyable if the listeners plugs in their best airphones, clears their heads and lets the music sweep over them.

And I mean, “Not alone” may be a mere Build-Up-To-An-Epic-Climax Ballad, but dear gods is it effective. You see, “Not alone” starts off quiet and solemn, a gentle piano tapping, punctuated with small drums... and then the orchestra comes in and builds and builds and builds until

at long last

WOD EEF EETS ONLE WAN KEES

DAT TERNS AL SIEDS INTO TRIZZ

DE STRONGEIST VIND INTO BRIZZ

OHPEN ALL DORS WIDNO KEEZ

and fuck, take my lifetime supply of hairpieces because that shit is awesome? The only real downside Aram has for me is that he requires a lot of set up: you really NEED to be in The Proper Mood to enjoy “Not alone” in its fullest glory. But when you are willing to take that plunge and be swept away by its rawness, you’re in for three minutes of catharsis. PS: Aram performing it drunk at the finale 😍

being awesome AND being incompetent in two different performances, what a kraljic <3

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52. Ott Lepland - “Kuula” Estonia 2012

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There are two reasons why “Kuula” ranks this high and neither is Estonia bias :o

The first is, obviously, the context. I’ve spoken widely about how terrible Baku2012 sounded as a whole, and how disappointment everything was. Well, “Kuula” was not only acoustically sound, it is actually the ONLY song that I was pleasantly surprised me. I had no opinion whatsoever going into Baku and he roses to my #3 of the year.

Which brings me to the second reason why “Kuula” ranks this highly. It is just... really fucking good, lol?

With powerballads such as these it’s REALLY important to suck the listener/viewer in and the combination of Ott’s great voice, adorable personality, the magical language that is Estonian (which also, conveniently, allows me forget “Kuula” has Deep Meaning and Touching Lyrics 🤗), and a great organic build up captivate me immensely. Even though songs like “Kuula” are far from what I normally love, it never fails to sustain me, proving tho every great rule they’re always a greater exception. 🤗

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51. Anouk - “Birds” the Netherlands 2013

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~She slayed it from the outside~

Oh my god Anouk was such a rollercoaster. From my end, I was OBSESSED with Anouk from the second she was announced (as the first participant of 2013!!!) because hell yeah I LOVED “Nobody’s wife” and “Girl” and this expected ~High Voltage Rock OWNAGE~

What we got instead was... something just as great, if completely different. “Birds” may not have been an in-your-face rock song, but it never-the-less was a beautiful, mesmerising, unpretentious avant garde ballad. “If being myself is what I do wrong, then I would rather not be right” sticks out as an absolutely brilliant line that I often use in my daily writing. 😍 I LOVE how Anouk performs btw, on the satellite stage, in a sea of f(l)ags:

While also delivering distinctly Dutch diction. 😍 Paraphrasing:

“Burds follin daun de roeftops, aut of de skai laik reendraups, no eir, no praad.”

Like ^ pronounced that in dutch and you literally have Anouk’s diction nailed. 😍

“Birds” was basically the “Me and my guitar” of the Netherlands, but there’s also the added bonus of Anouk herself. You see, in contrast to her song’s ethereal demeanor, Anouk is KNOWN to be a huuuuuge abrasive confrontal bitch with zero filter 😍 and fragments of her diva personality definitely oozed into Malmö as well, from nonchalantly recording a gritty webcam vid for official channel’s preview vid (😍) to flippantly pulling a hood over her face each time a journalist wanted to interview her. It ended, how else, with Anouk writing “Walk along” for Trijntje, and then cussing her out for being frumpy / talentless / sucking at life when she NQ’d. When Trijntje tried pinning them blame Anouk for writing her a bad song on purpose (lmfao), Anouk retaliated by stealing Trijnje’s coach seat on The Voice NL. PETTY QUEEN <3 We truly aren’t worthy of this irl Cersei Lannister. 😍

Also um, I just realized I ranked those two on opposide ends of the Dutch chart:

The 2010s marked wonderful renaissance for the Netherlands. I’m never ~OBSESSED~ with their entries, but they are a very solid Eurovision country, reliably delivering good music. I think they’re also the country that has the lowest amount of godawful entries on average (literally 2. Fuck you, “Without you” and “Amsterdam”.). If anyone deserved to win based on track record alone it was definitely them.

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Lithuania #Fusedmarc #rain of revolution #Belgium #Tom Dice #me and my guitar #Armenia #Aram MP3 #Not alone #Estonia #Ott Lepland #Kuula #Anouk #Birds #Netherlands

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golden-redhead · 5 years

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with flowers in your hair (tell me it's real)

I know that I posted a big part of this on Tumblr before and that it’s on AO3 but I just wanted to have the complete story here on Tumblr.

Read on AO3.

It was still dark outside when Shuichi’s eyes suddenly snapped open, abruptly pulling him out of the realm of dreams without any warning. He stared at the dark ceiling above his head, the memory of his dream slowly fading away.

He was just about to turn and try to fall asleep again when he caught the sight of Kaito who was grinning wildly over Kokichi’s sleeping form on the other side of the bed.

“Mm, Kaito?” Shuichi rubbed his eyes, words slightly slurred and voice still laced with a heavy layer of sleep. “Why are you awake so early?”

Kaito’s eyes looked soft in the dark room, the gentle glow of the moonlight being the only source of light. The long dark shadows danced on the walls and the eerily quiet atmosphere tempted to lull Shuichi back to sleep.

“He’s blooming in his sleep,” whispered Kaito excitedly, a wide grin stretching on his face.

Shuichi blinked, unsure if he’s heard that right. He was just about to open his mouth and ask him to repeat it when Kaito leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Kokichi’s shoulder, one of his hands reaching out to brush aside a few stray petals that fell on their smaller boyfriend’s forehead.

Shuichi blinked again, slowly, the sight before him slowly registering in his still hazy-with-sleep brain.

Kokichi was laying on his side, lips parted slightly and quiet, barely audible snores escaping his mouth every now and then. Nothing unusual, considering that it was the middle of the night and the previous day proved to be quite exhausting. What was unusual, however, was the flower crown made of blue hyacinths and gardenias that was wrapped loosely around his head, petals intertwined together and resting gently against a mess of dark hair.

“Oh.”

The last traces of sleepiness were gone as Shuichi watched with fascination as slowly more flowers started to cover his smaller boyfriend’s body, sprouting out of the sleeves of his pajamas and getting tangled in the dark strands of his hair. The sweet aroma filled the air, making the detective feel a little light-headed. The sight of it all was enthralling and Shuichi found himself breathless, unable to look away, mesmerized by the way the flowers were slowly wrapping around Kokichi’s lithe body, pulling him into a gentle embrace.

And it wasn’t only Kokichi who was blooming. The boy must have unconsciously felt his boyfriends’ presence in his sleep, because when Shuichi raised his eyes again he noticed a rose tucked behind Kaito’s ear, its vibrant red petals brushing against the astronaut’s cheek and clashing horribly with the color of his hair. Shuichi also became vaguely aware of something tickling his neck and when he looked down there was a small sunflower perched on his shoulder, its long stalk curling along the length of his arm.

He let out a quiet sound, something between a sigh and a laugh, affection swelling in his chest. It all felt like a dream and for a moment he humored the idea of pinching himself, just to make sure that it’s all real, just to make sure that it’s not just a figment of his imagination, courtesy of sleep deprivation and his never-ending fascination with Kokichi’s unusual abilities.

“The little shit is gonna drown us in flowers,” complained Kaito jokingly, his eyes bright in the darkness, affection clear in his gaze.

Shuichi hummed in response, his eyes following a long vine of morning glory wrapping along the length of Kokichi’s arm, curling along the curves of his body and reaching out in the direction of his boyfriends, brushing against their skin gently, almost shyly.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, resisting the desire to touch his smaller boyfriend, dot his face with dozens of small kisses before he presses his lips against Kokichi’s and takes his breath away. While it was a tempting idea, something about it felt wrong. There’ll be time for that later, when Kokichi wakes up, when the flowers’ grip around him loosens. Something about this moment felt special, like something that shouldn’t be interrupted.

The feeling of a vine prodding at his hand interrupted his thoughts as if the plant was prompting him to lift his wrist slightly. Hesitant but trusting, he raised his hand, pale gold eyes widening with curiosity as he watched the vine wrap around his index finger, clinging to his pale skin. He watched in silent awe as a single flower bloomed right before his eyes, a small bud spreading its petals slowly and gracefully.

Shuichi’s breath caught in his throat.

“Did he just propose to you in plant?” laughed Kaito from the other side of the bed and when Shuichi pried his eyes away from Kokichi’s sleeping form to look at his other boyfriend, he noticed more roses tangled into his hair, framing his face like a flowery halo.

What Kaito failed to notice, however, was a twin vine that started to coil around his own index finger like a ring, the petals springing out of the bud and the flower’s sweet fragrance filling the room that’s already smelled like a greenhouse.

“I think he proposed to both of us,” whispered back Shuichi, not quite trusting his own voice and afraid that he’ll wake Kokichi up if he speaks too loudly. His chest was aching but it was a good kind of ache, a nice one. It felt like his chest would burst out with affection, like it simply couldn’t contain the intensity of his feelings.

He almost laughed out loud at the confused expression that flickered through Kaito’s face at his comment. It quickly turned into surprised recognition when he finally noticed the vine coiled around his finger. Shuichi watched with quiet amusement as a blush spread over Kaito’s cheeks and nose, visible even in the darkness of the room.

They stayed like that for a long time, watching as their boyfriend bloomed right before their eyes until the early hours of the morning. It was almost time for Shuichi to start waking up and getting ready for work when Kokichi finally started to stir, his nose scrunching in a way that made the detective’s heart twist in his chest.

It took him a while to wake up fully, cloudy with sleep, eyes blinking rapidly as he slowly slipped out of the land of dreams only to find himself face-to-face with twin wide smiles of his boyfriends staring at him with intent. He frowned slightly but before he could voice his confusion the reason of their smiles became apparent. A few months ago he would have been startled by such an awakening but by now it was almost part of the routine.

With a long-suffering groan he propped himself on his elbows, taking a moment to take a proper look at his boyfriends, himself and the room, the disgustingly sweet aroma of the flowers hitting his nose all at once. The sunflower snuggled against Shuichi’s neck contrasted horribly with the pale blue shade of his pajamas and the big goofy grin spread on Kaito’s lips along with the roses nestled in his messy hair made him look even more ridiculous than normally. The bed was a disaster, too, petals of all kinds of flowers littered all over their bedsheets, which matched the bedsheets that just happened to have a floral pattern on them.

“Ugh, not this again,” he complained loudly, slumping back on the pillows, multicolored petals rising up when the mattress dipped under his weight.

Kaito laughed openly at his disgruntled expression, which only made Kokichi’s expression darken some more, a protuberant pout tugging down at his lips.

“Shuiiichi, Momo-chan is making fun of poor little me,” he turned to the detective with glassy eyes and crocodile tears gathering at their corners, clinging to Shuichi’s arm tightly as he hoped to get his sympathy.

Kaito only chuckled in response and scratched the back of his neck.

“I just think they are pretty,” he informed Kokichi sincerely.

He reached out to help untangle a particularly stunning gardenia that was tucked behind Kokichi’s ear, long fingers brushing against dark strands of hair. He had that dumb, lovesick expression on his face that always made Kokichi’s heart do weird things in his chest.

How hideous.

“Only a dumbass like Momo-chan could think so!” Whined Kokichi plaintively, pushing the blankets away and attempting to stand up, pulling Shuichi up after him.

Once he stood up - shivering slightly at the loss of warmth and comfort of the bed - he shook off himself energetically like a dog, petals and flowers falling down and adorning the floor. Despite his best attempts many flowers remained in their place, tangled up with his messy hair. When he finally straightened himself, he looked Kaito in the eyes with a bright-eyed challenging stare of his own.

“One day they’ll suffocate me in my sleep, we’ll see how you’ll like them when that happens!” He huffed childishly and then reached for Shuichi’s hand, fingers wrapping around the detective’s wrist in a vice-strong grip and stomping out of the bedroom, very confused Shuichi in tow.

“Come on, Shumai, you have to help me get rid of the rest of these flowers, I can’t show up like that in DICE’s headquarters.”

Kaito stared dumbfounded after them, catching one last apologetic smile that Shuichi sent him over his shoulders as he was dragged out of the room, when suddenly a thought occurred to him.

“Wait!” Protested Kaito. “What about the flowers here?”

“Dunno, clean them yourself if you like them so much!” came Kokichi’s sing-songing response from the other side of their little apartment, a teasing giggle clear in his voice.

Kaito grumbled under his breath but obediently climbed out of bed and stretched. Then he reached for the broom hidden behind the door for occasions exactly like this one and got to work, determined to finish as fast as possible and join his boyfriends for breakfast, the familiar smell of Shuichi brewing coffee spread all over the apartment.

#saioumota #oumota #saiouma #ouma kokichi #shuichi saihara #kaito momota #ndrv3 #my writing #plantkichi #flower powers Kokichi story

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polaroidofus-89 · 5 years

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‘Lover’ song-by-song breakdown [part 1]:

Long before @taylorswift joined Tumblr (and a billion thousand of Swifties with her), when this website was still unknown to most of mankind, I always made a post about my first thoughts on the album, writing down my opinion and rating each song at the end of release week. The first time I did this was with Speak Now and I created a chart to rate Lyrics, Chorus, Bridge and whether the song is a Skip or not. The only time I skipped this post was during the reputation era because of reasons I explained back then - if you want, I’ll send you the link to that post.

This time, however, I must make this a two-part post because a) I just came back from my holiday today, b) I always listen to it three times before writing this post (right now I am on number 2) and c) this album is freaking long!

So here’s the charts (chorus and bridge rated 1-5; lyrics rated 1-3):

Chorus: 1- meh, nice; 2- good; 3- very good; 4- just magic; 5- PERFECTION

Bridge: 1- good, did better; 2- good; 3- quite perfect; 4- RIP ME. DEAD.; 5- BRIDGE CITY ALERT!!! (was previously BRIDGE HEAVEN... guess why it changed? lol)

Lyrics: 1- good; 2- great; 3- AMAZING

Also, since I have been more active lately and some very cute and amazing blogs started following me, I want you all to take part in this breakdown because I would love to read your thoughts and your ratings on each song!

So please, please, please join me in this adventure. Six months from this date (when we will all know the songs by heart), I’ll bring it back to see if anything has changed.

Anyway, here’s the first part of my breakdown... hope you enjoy it!

1. I Forgot That You Existed

Chorus: very good Bridge: good, did better Lyrics: good Skip? No Favorite lyrics: none in particular

Alright, say what you want but I am a sucker for sarcastic and provocative songs from Taylor; they always are filled with such irony and smart remarks… I just can’t help adoring them and memorize them from the first listen, going around humming the rhythm all day long. It happened with Mean, WANEGBT, Blank Space, Shake It Off, IDSB and TIWWCHNT… so it was obviously going to happen with this one too. I also think it would’ve made one hell of promo single – just sayin’. I am in awe of Taylor’s attitude towards people that hurt or badmouth her after being in some kind of relationship with her: she does not comment at first, letting them rant and have their little moment of glory. Then, when everything seems over and forgotten, she strikes back and I enjoy EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. OF. IT. This one I had been waiting for a long time because a certain someone DEFINITELY deserved it. The way a person behaves towards somebody AFTER their relationship ends says a lot about them and this particular individual proved to be childish, petty, arrogant and very immature – not to mention awfully mean. You can’t act that way about someone you’ve been with for ONE ENTIRE YEAR, someone you were supposed to be in love with. I hate this post-breakup kind of behavior and I had hoped so freaking hard that reputation would’ve had a song like this. But we have it now and secret sessioners were right: it is the most amazing way to start an album. What I love most about this song is the entire second verse: got out some popcorns as soon as my rep started going down, down, down/laughed in the schoolyard as soon as I tripped and hit the ground, ground, ground/ and I would’ve stuck around for ya/ would’ve fought the whole town for ya/would’ve been right there front row, even if nobody came to your show. I just know that it will make feel the person who inspired this song ashamed and won’t allow them any kind of response because it isn't hate, it isn’t love… IT’S JUST INDIFFERENCE. And I’m so proud of her for this.

2. Cruel Summer***

10/10 Chorus: PERFECT Bridge: BRIDGE CITY ALERT!!!!! Lyrics: great Skip? HARD NO Favorite lyrics: “Devils roll their dice; Angels roll their eyes” “what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more” “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you”

Secret sessioners were onto something again: Out of The Woods stans would be suckers for Cruel Summer… I can confirm that is, indeed, true. This track feels like summer sunsets, road trips and a sequence of lovey-dovey moments straight out of a rom-com. I absolutely adored the lyrics on this one! I mean “what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more”, “no rules in breakable heaven”, “devils roll their dices, Angels roll their eyes”, “and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know” … what are we even talking about here? And don’t even get me started on the bridge: once again the Swift-Antonoff combination proved to be a winning choice. It’s Taylor Swift at her best and I have nothing more to add. This track is one of my favorites of the entire album and I am hoping it’ll be her next single.

3. Lover*****

10/10 Chorus: magic Bridge: RIP ME. I DIED. DEAD. Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? NEVER IN ANY LIFETIME Favorite lyrics: “have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?” “I’ve loved you three summers now honey but I want them all” “My heart’s been borrowed, yours has been blue all’s well that ends well to end up with you”

When Lover first came out, I asked my boyfriend ‘do you think this will be my favorite off of the album?’ and he said ‘no’. He was not wrong at all: Lover and Cornelia Street are battling in my head and in my heart for ‘favorite song’ on the album - I swear it has never been so difficult for me to decide! This track is just pure magic; every time I listen to it, I have a picture in my head of slow dancing during my wedding day and it always (always!) makes me emotional enough to shed a few tears. Honestly, it just gives me poetry vibes – it is that beautiful to me. I absolutely adore this one. This track is also one of my favorite songs – if not my favorite at all.

4. The Man***

10/10 Chorus: PERFECTION Bridge: very good Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? NEVER IN ANY LIFETIME Favorite Lyrics: “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man”

When I read the interview in which Taylor played this song and explained it to the journalist, my excitement multiplied infinite times. Whoever said Taylor Swift is not a feminist should now go and sit in the corner, thinking about how idiotic such a statement is. This track perfectly summarized what a woman pursuing her goals in life has to go through daily and how hard it is when the world thinks you were born with the wrong attribute in the lower part of your body. It is very provocative and sarcastic, a real national anthem for women. I’m so very proud of her for writing this song, you have no idea. Of course, it has quickly earned a spot on my ‘top favorites’.

5. The Archer***

10/10 Chorus: good (pre-chorus is what I really love) Bridge: BRIDGE CITY ALERT!!! Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? NEVER IN ANY LIFETIME Favorite Lyrics: “All the king’s horses, all the king’s men couldn’t put me together again” “awake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible ghosts”

Ah, the power of number 5! This song is life! The thing I love the most about this track is the way it speaks so much on an emotional level, using very little actual words. With track 5 we always got a very descriptive song: she wanted to tell us about an extremely delicate, heartbreaking moment in her life and walked us through the entire story with the lyrics. The Archer doesn’t give us a story, doesn’t talk to us about a distressing moment in her life… it tells us about a feeling – more than that, it gives us that feeling. The anxiety you have when you suffered one too many bad knockouts in life and you are always ready for something bad to happen, always ready for someone to betray you or leave you alone again. It’s a paralyzing fear, almost like you can’t breathe and the fact that Taylor was capable of putting it all into words… I just love her so much, you guys! Though not my favorite Track 5, it does get both a spot on my top three Track 5 (All Too Well and White Horse are number 1 and 2) and on my ‘top favorites’ for this album.

6. I Think He Knows

Chorus: meh Bridge: good, did better Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? Sadly, yes.

Ugh, this is a moment I hate very much. This is one of the only two songs I didn’t particularly like on this album. It breaks my heart to say this because I love both the lyrics (which I think are some of the best on the entire record) and the concept behind this song. But the rhythm just doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t speak to me like all the other songs do… something is just off. That being said, it is still a very good song. Let’s just say, I wouldn’t mind at all if it didn’t make it on the Lover Tour setlist. I know a lot of you love this song and I tried very hard to change my mind about it, but I just know it will be a skip for me.

7. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

Chorus: very good

Bridge: magic

Lyrics: great

Skip? No

Favorite Lyrics:

“I’ll never let you (go), ‘cause I know this is a (fight), that someday we’re gonna (win)”

This one is absolutely incredible - also, my boyfriend’s favorite. It’s You belong with me older, more mature and melancholic sister. The bridge is what really made me fall in love with this track: one of the best she has ever written.

8. Paper Rings

Chorus: PERFECTION Bridge: quite perfect Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? Definitely no Favorite Lyrics: “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”

OMG THIS SONG! This song is so so so cute! I love it! It’s fun and catchy and makes you want to dance so hard! I’m really looking forward to seeing this song performed live. And don’t even get me started on the chorus: I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings… are you kidding me? Tell me this is not the most amazing declaration of love you have ever heard! Once again, I agree with secret sessioners: it does give Stay, Stay, Stay vibes and I’m totally here for it. These are the kind of songs that I missed the most during rep era and I’m so happy that we got Paper Rings, you have no idea!

9. Cornelia Street*****

10/10 Chorus: PERFECTION Bridge: quite perfect Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? NEVER IN ANY LIFETIME Favorite Lyrics: (too many to count) “I rent a place on Cornelia Street I say casually in the bar” “that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend” “as if the streetlights pointed in an arrowhead leading us home”

When the tracklist came out and we found out about the Cornelia flowers Easter eggs I just knew that this song was going to hit very hard in the feelings: it was the only Easter egg she has repeated plenty of times, ever since Me! Came out. When we found out that she had written this one by herself, my expectation flew to the moon and back. It did not disappoint in any way: I LOVE THIS SONG! It’s so soft and romantic, my heart can’t take it! I also very much liked the production on this one. Seriously, one of Taylor’s best song for me. The reason I can’t decide which one between this and Lover is my ultimate favorite is that whenever I am finally convinced about one being it, I listen to the other and I’m stuck again. I don’t know if that was clear enough for everyone to understand but… yeah, I’ll let you know if I ever make up my mind.

#taylor swift #taylornation #Lover era #lover #westandbytaylor

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monstersdownthepath · 5 years

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Spiritual Spotlight: Cayden Cailean, the Drunken Hero

Chaotic Good God of Ale, Freedom, and Wine

Domains: Chaos, Charm, Good, Strength, Travel Subdomains: Azata, Competition, Exploration, Ferocity, Love, Lust, Resolve

Inner Sea Gods, pg. 36~43

Obedience: Sing a song in praise of freedom, bravery, and your god’s glory (and good looks). The song must be audible to those nearby—friend or foe. Between stanzas, you must pause to drink from a full mug of ale, wine, or other spirits. When the song is done, drink the remaining alcohol while mentally composing the song you will sing on the morrow. If a creature is attracted by your song, do your best to engage it in conversation about the merits of Cayden Cailean. If hostilities become inevitable, leap boldly into the fight without hesitation. Benefit: Get a +4 sacred bonus to saving throws versus poison effects.

Discussing one of Pathfinder’s more well-known Good Guys has been a long time coming! I just had to get all of the Evil gods out of my system first (which is a lie, there’s still 80+ more pages of Evil to discuss), and what better way to wash them all out than with a pint?

The Drunken Hero’s Obedience prevents you from being subtle about who you’re working for. It MUST be audible to anyone nearby, even party members you want to keep it a secret from, and it MUST be about Cayden Cailean. There’s also the fact you have to start your day with a hearty drink (the mug must be full, and you must finish it), which could prove disadvantageous if you have anywhere to be early in the morning. Alternately, you could drink just before going to bed; I make most of the Obediences sound like they’re something to be done right as the day starts, but that’s only true for casters, who are basically encouraged to do their Obediences at the crack of dawn as they prepare their spells (Obediences can be done alongside preparations, no matter how wild they are).

A martial character can have a nice tall nightcap and sing everyone to sleep--the song has to be audible, not ‘ear-cracking’--and enjoy their benefit and Boons for 24 hours, waking up with a mild hangover (easily cured) rather than going about the first few hours of their day like a drunken fool. If you ARE a caster, however, I hope you didn’t dump Constitution, because you’ll need it! Especially if a baddie does overhear your singing and come investigating, because Cayden requires you to leap into the fray no matter what.

Benefit is nothing we haven’t seen before. Ironically, since alcohol itself is considered a poison for the purpose of game mechanics, this benefit actually helps keep you from getting too sloshed. I just hope you remember not to drink your strongest stuff in your first mug, because the bonus won’t apply then!

Boons are gathered slowly, typically obtained when a given character has 12, 16, and 20 hit dice. Unlike fiend-worshipers, servants of the Eldest, and devoted of the Empyreal Lords, characters worshiping Good gods do not seem to have catch-all classes (though I could very well have just missed it)… but Good-aligned characters can enter the Evangelist, Sentinel, and Exalted Prestige Classes earlier than Evil characters, classing in as early as level 6 (they need +5 BAB, 5 ranks in a single skill, or the ability to cast lvl 3 spells); entered ASAP, one can gain the Boons at levels 8, 11, and 14.

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EVANGELIST

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Boon 1: Liberation. Liberating Command 3/day, Knock 2/day, or Dispel Magic 1/day.

You all should know by now how useful Dispel Magic can be, even at 1/day. It shatters more or less any magical effect that doesn’t require another specific spell to undo, and can shave buffs off enemies and debuffs off allies in the middle of combat.

So lets look at the other two! Knock, in particular, seems pretty fun. It can open just about any locked object you can think of and can even go so far as to loosen welds, knock nail-studded boards away, and undo bars and chains holding something shut. You use your caster level +10 versus the DC of a locked object, and since your caster level is equal to your HD for spell-like abilities, you can only fail on a 1 when opening simple locks and have a pretty good chance of unhinging more complex locks as well. It takes SERIOUS effort to keep someone with Knock out of a particular door, because most means of shutting someone out count as ‘simple locks’ unless you invest hundreds of gold into it.

Liberating Command is a pretty nice spell, really. You can target any creature in Close range (25ft + 5ft/lvl) to grant them an immediate attempt to escape a grapple, binding, or restraint with an Escape Artist check... Which get get a bonus to equal to twice your caster level (+18, when you first get this Boon, but it only goes up to +20). One thing I missed on my first pass over it was that it was an immediate action, allowing you to use it in response to someone near you getting grappled, or if you yourself get snared.

Liberating Command is a pretty terrible spell to prepare, but it’s an amazing spell-like to just have at 3/day. The number of critters with Grab in the game is worrying, and many scrawnier players more or less become dead weight the moment they’re grappled, so giving them an instant chance to escape with an enormous boost to their attempt can let them wiggle right out of the grip of a troll/octopus/worm monster.

Boon 2: Drinking Buddy. 1/day as a standard action, you can create an illusory duplicate of yourself in an adjacent square next to you. The duplicate moves on your initiative count and has your movement speed. It automatically moves to try and flank enemies you designate, avoiding Attacks of Opportunity using your Acrobatics bonus if needed. Anyone interacting with the double can attempt a Will save (DC 25) to see through it, and anyone who realizes it’s an illusion cannot be flanked with it. It has your AC, but vanishes instantly if it successfully struck. Otherwise, it lasts 1 round per HD you possess.

Ugh. Cayden, what are you doing? What is this? This is just awful!! I mean, if you’re a class with Sneak Attack or someone who’s built to flank others, this is passable, but at 1/day? Instantly vanishing if damaged? Granting a flat Will save to disbelieve (it does not rise as you level)?

I suppose it makes for a decent distraction, if nothing else. Boosting your own AC before sending in the clones works fairly well, possibly drawing numerous enemy attacks in, and the ability does note that the double only vanishes if hit with an attack, meaning AoE won’t clear it out, and many spells which don’t rely on an attack roll simply fail as well. That gives this ability a bit more utility than it otherwise would have.

But it’s a standard action to perform, at 1/day, and you can’t even send the double into a room alone, since it only exists to try and flank enemies and the description doesn’t mention if it’s usable for anything else. For characters who don’t want to be flanking enemies, this ability is essentially useless.

Boon 3: Intoxicating Strike. 1/day, you may declare one of your attacks to be an Intoxicating Strike. You must declare this before the attack rolls is made. If the attack is successful and deals damage, the victim becomes supernaturally soused for 1 round per HD you possess; a soused creature takes a -4 penalty to AC, attack rolls, and skill checks, and their movement speeds are all reduced by 10ft.

Honestly, this one is kind of pathetic as well. You all probably know that I don’t like 1/day things negated by a successful save unless they change the course of a battle, and this is one of those things and it sets my teeth on edge. I do, however, admit that the fact you can use it on ranged attacks gives this a bit more reach than it otherwise would. A -4 penalty to attacks and skill checks usually won’t matter at such a high level, though there’s always the cases where they turn a certain blow into a near miss, so I won’t talk down too hard on this. A -4 to AC, however? Now THAT’S something special! Especially since there’s a good chance it’ll last the entirety of the fight!

This intoxication, by the way, is entirely supernatural in its intensity. It affects ALL creatures, even ones that can’t get drunk, such as Constructs, Undead, and most Outsiders. And it’s not technically a Save-or-Suck since there’s no save! All you have to do is get past someone’s AC! Which, eehhhhhh, can be just as iffy as firing it at their saves... Unless you’re using a firearm, of course, which hits touch AC from certain ranges.

All in all, Evangelists of Cayden don’t really win this round.

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EXALTED

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Boon 1: Libations. Gain Bless Water 3/day, Delay Poison 2/day, or Create Food And Water 1/day.

And Exalted is already off to a bad start, too! Yeesh! Holy Water stops being useful roughly around level 3 except as components for beefier Divine spells and certain rituals, and Delay Poison is a niche pick rendered useless by the fact Neutralize Poison exists and is within a level 9 party’s reach.

That being said, because spell-likes don’t require components, you don’t need the ridiculous five pounds of silver to transmute a singular pint of water into Holy Water via Bless Water. Holy Water doesn’t fade from day to day, either, so you can just slowly rack up an entire lakes-worth of the stuff over time to dunk Undead and Evil Outsiders in, or sell it by the bottle to churches or other adventuring parties for a tidy profit.

I would still just take Create Food And Water and never have to worry about rations or using resources to bribe hungry enemies again, though. Hell, at level 9, CFAW creates so much stuff that you could reasonably carry it to the next day and just alternate between CFAW and Bless Water (you can even bless the water you create!!!!) to keep everyone fed and armed. You won’t make much money by selling the excess food, but feeding the hungry without expecting profit is something a goody-good person like you should be doing anyway. Just uh, make sure at least one person on your team knows Prestidigitation, because I can speak from experience that a party will quickly grow tired of CFAW’s bland food.

Boon 2: Freedom’s Ally. 1/day as a standard action, you can call a pair of Bralani Azatas to your side. You have telepathy out to 100ft when communicating with them, and they serve you perfectly for 1 minute per HD you possess. They will not fulfill any orders which would cause them to commit evil acts or restrict the freedom of another purely for the sake of law, and asking them to do so may draw their ire. They may attack if your commands are especially vile.

Oops, nevermind, Exalted is Good, Actually. Bralani Azata are CR 6 creatures from the realm of Elysium armed with +1 scimitars and +1 composite longbows that they get two attacks with each round, and have such interesting spell-likes as Mirror Image, Wind Wall, and Charm Person at will, as well as Lightning Bolt and Cure Serious Wounds 2/day each. Against an army of foes, the Bralani can assume Wind Form to grant themselves an enormous 100ft fly speed and the power to deal 3d6 bludgeoning damage in a 20ft line with their Whirlwind Blast ability.

VERY powerful critters to have on your side, even if you’re twice their level! The defensive options they have via Mirror Image and Wind Wall alone make them tenacious even against enemies of higher CR, and their Wind Form turns them from gorgeous humanoids into nondescript clouds of fog, letting them run stealth missions if needed... Or use their massive movespeed to deliver curative spells to far-off allies.

I’m not sure how far away they’re summoned, since this ability doesn’t use any preexisting Summon Monster spell and doesn’t say where they pop up. I assume they appear adjacent to you, which limits the shenanigans you can pull with them, but not enough that I’d consider it worth worrying about.

Boon 3: Wine to Water. As a full-round action, you may transform a single serving of an alcoholic beverage into either potent Holy Water or a potion of Cure Serious Wounds. The potion option cures 3d8 HP, +1 HP per HD you possess (max +15). The Holy Water you create deals 4d4 damage to the Undead or to Evil Outsiders, and 2d4 to such creatures within 5ft of the initial target. Both the potion and water last for an hour. You can use this ability a number of times per day equal to your Charisma modifier (min 1).

Ohoho now this is something special... Provided you have a Charisma modifier of 3 or more, because at 1 or 2 a day? This ability’s kinda pitiful. The maximum healing it can do is 39, which is GOOD, but you’re likely never going to roll maximum healing.

Yes, the emergency healing is nice. You can turn even common 1-copper swill into an emergency healing potion, and “a serving” can be as small as a shot glass (which potions are traditionally served in), but it’s a full-round action to do, which means you can’t actually use this ability and then hand it to an ally in the same round. They’d have to use some actions on their turn to take it and drink it. After-combat healing is usually the way to go unless desperate, pouring a quick shot into an unconscious ally’s throat to get them back on their feet. If you know combat is coming you can make the potions ahead of time since they last an hour, but know that if the potion ‘expires,’ the ability is wasted. The use is limited, but it helps your healer’s spell slots stretch just a bit further.

4d4 damage to an undead or fiendish enemy is also pretty lackluster at level 15, the earliest you can get this ability. The best trick you can pull with it is to trick such a creature into drinking it, burning them inside and out and likely preventing them from speaking from the searing their throat just took. This ability is even more hilarious than typical Holy Water in that regard; you can instantly detect shapeshifting Evil beasts by spritzing them with a bit of the stuff, but that likely won’t work against more cunning monsters. This ability, though? It makes suggesting a drink for your friend MUCH less suspicious than handing them a vial of water. You’re just pouring them a cold one to enjoy!

It’s like you’re testing your party for The Thing, only instead of them exploding into a tentacle monster and killing everyone in the room, it’s a secret mystery test that’ll expose them while also debilitating them! That’s about the only use it has at high levels, aside from being used as material components for spells that actually matter.

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SENTINEL

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Boon 1: Devastating Duelist. Bless Weapon 3/day, Brow Gasher 2/day, or Greater Magic Weapon 1/day.

By level 9, most people in the party should have magic weapons anyway. Not always, but usually you’ve got enough of a mystic arsenal to make Bless Weapon redundant. The fact it overrides magical enchantments already on a weapon also means that it becomes weaker as you level up and gain access to better equipment, putting it firmly in the Niche of this list.

Greater Magic Weapon is almost always the better choice when choosing to buff a weapon, though I will admit that Bless Weapons’ ability to auto-crit against Evil creatures is pretty nice. GMW, however, makes any weapon hit harder and hit more easily. The fact it also lasts for 1 hour/level means it’ll likely last your entire adventuring day.

Brow Gasher is also an interesting choice. It forces you to use a slashing weapon (which you already likely do, if you’re a Sentinel of Cayden) but heavily rewards you for doing so; discharging the spell as part of a successful attack slashes the poor fool across the forehead, bleeding them for half your caster level (4 damage a round, which rises as you level) and potentially blinding them if they can’t get it cured in time. The list of creatures who are immune to resistant to this ability is long, but it’s certainly worth taking anyway on the occasion you find yourself against targets capable of bleeding.

Boon 2: Light Weapon Master. Whenever you battle with a light bladed weapon, if you have the Weapon Training (Light Weapon) ability, you get a +2 deflection bonus to AC. If you do not have Weapon Training, instead you get a +1 sacred bonus to attack rolls with light bladed weapons.

Here I thought Evangelists were hogging all the bad Boons this time, but it turns out Sentinel is the one who got shot in the leg here.

This ability basically reads “unless you’re a Fighter, get a lame benefit.” Don’t get me wrong, on an actual Fighter (or a Swashbuckler, if your DM is nice enough)? This ability is amazing. +2 extra AC for a character already loaded with AC makes them that much better at tanking, and it’s a DEFLECTION bonus to it even applies to touch attacks!

But if you’re not a Fighter, this ability is basically worthless. I know I’m being a little harsh here, but a Boon should be ABOVE the power level of a feat, not on part with a feat you can take as early as level 1 (Weapon Focus). Even Drinking Buddy is better than this.

Boon 3: Critical Luck. Each time you roll a natural 1 on an attack roll, keep a tally, up to a maximum of your Charisma modifier. Whenever you threaten a critical hit with an attack roll, you can ‘trade’ one of your tallies to automatically confirm the critical hit. Your tally empties out every 24 hours.

If you roll enough natural 1s to make this ability useful, you’re likely either dead or dead weight. Seriously, you may need to exorcise your dice if you roll three or more 1s in a single day of combat. I think the first thing that would need to go is the Charisma mod limitation, followed by the fact it empties out every 24 hours. Unless you have a weapon with a high critical range, you might not even get to use this ability at all, let alone in the same combat.

I know a lot of abilities rely on luck, but this is one of the only Boons I’ve seen that specifically relies on YOU, personally, having absolutely terrible luck, followed by absolutely fantastic luck. It’s just... not good. I would go as far as saying that this ability could realistically be a simple feat anyone could take, and not even one locked behind particularly terrible prerequisites.

Exalted of Cayden win this round by a long shot.

You can read more about him here.

#Spiritual Spotlight #Saintly Spotlight #alcoholism//#alcohol #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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aticklishtem · 6 years

Text

To Chase the Blues Away

((heyyy, I’m alive, sorta!! A very belated request for @mylittlemystery ^^;; sorry for the wait, darling, I hope you like it!! <3 ))

Some days, being the Devil didn’t seem like as much fun as it used to be.

Sure, he still had the kind of power most folks would sell their souls for at the tips of his claws. He still had an army of loyal, if occasionally incompetent minions to do his bidding – and of course, he still had the casino, drawing in the suckers to empty their coins like moths to a flame, even if they weren’t always bringing in the big bucks like the good old days.

The good old days before those two little finks played him at his own game, and ever since something had shifted. A couple dozen deadbeats getting bailed out may not have made that much difference in the long term – he had a sizeable stash of souls accumulated over the years – but nonetheless, as the contracts burned the Devil felt a little of his power, his control over Inkwell slip away, and it unsettled him more than he cared to admit. The idea of no longer commanding the unquestioned fear and respect he deserved was as horrifying as it was infuriating – he was the goddamned Devil, there wasn’t a soul in the land who could take that away from him – and although he was determined to claw back that control, some days it was all just too much. The slightest thing would niggle on his last nerve, and sometimes one innocuous comment from a casino employee was enough provoke a tirade of abuse. He’d rant and rave and wave his trident to let off steam, until he had the whole room cowering behind their tables. Call the Devil old-fashioned, but sometimes a fella just needed to see the terror in his underlings’ eyes as they grovelled at his feet and begged him to spare their wretched lives.

Other days, though, his emotions proved a tad more troublesome.

The Devil sat in his office, grinding his teeth together as he flicked through a pile of paperwork, searching for a contract – Salt, wasn’t it? It had been years, but he reckoned it was time to call in some old favours – if he could only find the blasted thing. What twit had organised this place? Couldn’t any of these imbeciles he’d magnanimously spared from eternal damnation do anything right?! Letting out a growl, he got up from his desk and started pulling out files, drawers, everything else on the shelves as the frustration boiled in his blood, bubbling closer to erupting the further he seemed from getting anywhere.

As if that wasn’t testing him enough, he also had the imps he’d been foolish enough to let tag along scuttling about under his feet, chasing each other, climbing up the Devil’s chair and onto his shoulders and tugging at his fur while they all chattered at once:

“Booossss, whatcha doin’?”

“Is that a soul? I wanna soul!”

“Is it lunchtime yet? I’m hungryyy…”

“Boss, can we have some chips? I wanna go play –”

“Would you all just shut yer pieholes?!” the Devil finally bellowed, the force of his rage sending out a shockwave of magic that licked flames up the walls and swept everything clean off his desk – including the imps, who tumbled to the floor in a shrieking heap. Four pairs of eyes gazed up at him in stunned silence, wide and fearful, but it didn’t give the Devil the satisfaction he craved. Instead, as the youngest imp blinked, its lower lip starting to wobble, the red-hot rage prickled behind his eyes, and – oh no…

“P-Papa…?”

That pitiful whimper did it: the dam burst, the Devil almost choking on the sudden lump in his throat as he slammed his fists down on his desk. “Enough out of you! Go! Scram!”

He waved a hand to teleport them swiftly back to Hell before they could protest – even though this ridiculous surge of tenderness made him want nothing more than to scoop his boys into a hug and tell them he was sorry, he never meant to hurt them (well, to seriously hurt them), but he couldn’t possibly let them see him break down. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be – he was the Devil, for pete’s sake! He should be able to command anything he wanted, not be at the mercy of his unpredictable emotions like some kind of pathetic mortal. First he gets walloped by a couple of kids, and now it felt like his empire was crumbling around him, and it just...damn it, it wasn’t fair!

The Devil unleashed an anguished wail, the tears finally breaking free as he collapsed back into his chair, his whole body shaking with great, ugly, shuddering sobs. They kept on coming, rolling down his cheeks, soaking his fur and splashing onto the long-forgotten paperwork, but he didn’t care – let ‘em all go to Hell, they had it coming anyway. He buried his head in his hands and let all the frustration pour out of him, lost in a haze of self-pity, until he was rudely interrupted by a knock on his door.

“I’m busy!” he snarled, in the most ferocious roar that should’ve sent anyone running for the hills – so naturally, King Dice just waltzed on in like it was his own office.

“Don’t look too busy to me. I thought you might wanna see today’s numbers - business is up from…” Dice trailed off, his sharp eyes flicking from the shelves turned upside down to the papers scattering the floor before landing on the Devil, in all his red-eyed, matted-furred glory, and he lifted an eyebrow somewhere between curiosity and concern. “Yeesh. What happened here?”

“Nothing! All under control!” the Devil snapped, furiously rubbing his eyes with one hand and unsuccessfully shooing Dice away with the other. “You can show me later – go get back to work and make yourself useful!”

“Sorry, boss – no can do,” Dice answered with a shrug, calm as if he was dealing with a petulant child rather than the embodiment of evil itself. He walked over, picking up the papers and shuffling them into a neat pile on the Devil’s desk. “What kinda right-hand man would I be if I left you here in such a state, hmm? Hey,” he added, more gently, “don’t blow your wig – it’s gonna be okay. Them cupfaces ain’t seen the last of us. The chumps’ll come back – they always do. We’ll be swimmin’ in the dough again before you know it.”

The Devil grumbled half-heartedly, deliberating giving him what for for daring to disobey an order, but then Dice placed a comforting hand on his head, stroking soothingly through his fur, and he couldn’t help but lean into the touch. As humiliating as it was to be caught bawling his eyes out, he had to admit the fella was good with his hands, and he always seemed to know just how to calm him down. He felt the tension start to melt away as gloved fingers got to work massaging his shoulders, letting out a few contented purrs followed by a sigh of pleasure when they targeted a particularly tight spot at the base of his neck.

It was only when Dice’s fingers moved higher, touch just a little too light, that he started to twitch, biting his lip to hold back any embarrassing noises while fighting the urge to scrunch up his neck. He’d almost convinced himself he could endure it – right up until Dice brushed the tender spot below his ear and the Devil jerked, a snort he couldn’t quite muffle slipping past his lips.

“Everything okay there, boss?” He could just hear the smirk in Dice’s voice – he knew exactly what he was doing, and the Devil knew he’d left himself much too vulnerable. “You seem a little...jumpy.”

“Dice.” The Devil lifted his head to glare at him, but the stupid wobbly smile tugging at the corner of his mouth threatened to betray him as the tension resurfaced in the form of anticipatory butterflies fluttering in his stomach. “Don’t you dare – you better not be thinking about trying…”

“Don’t what, boss? I’ve no idea what you mean.” Dice ran a fingertip over the pointed curve of the Devil’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine. “All I’m trying to do his help you relax – unless you’re telling me you’re too ticklish to take even this…”

The Devil opened his mouth to threaten him, but Dice’s fingers dug into the sweet spot behind his ear and all that flew out was a stream of unfittingly angelic giggles as he scritched away with just the right amount of pressure.

“Well, hi-de-ho, here we go!” Dice crooned, his teasingly triumphant sing-song almost melting the Devil into a furiously blushing puddle. “There’s that smile again. You’re looking much happier already – good to know this no-good lackey’s still good for somethin’, huh?”

“Dihihihihice!” the Devil spluttered, arms flailing wildly as he attempted to bat his hands away - but that only worsened his predicament, as Dice seized his paw, holding it captive in one hand while those fiendishly skilled fingers skittered over his ribs and scribbled mercilessly into his newly exposed armpit; the Devil should’ve overpowered him easily, but he was even weaker from the uncontrollable cackles reverberating through the room than from his earlier outpouring of emotion. “You just wahahahahait – Ihihihihi’m gonna –”

“You’re gonna what, boss, hmm? Laugh for me?” Dice purred, his warm breath in the Devil’s ear tickling him in tandem with his devious fingers performing every dirty trick they knew. “I sure hope so, ‘cause I’ve been missin’ that sweet laugh of yours. Been waiting to get my hands on this deliciously ticklish tum…” He squeezed his sides and the Devil yelped, lost to helpless hysterics as Dice’s fingers raked through his fur to tease the agonisingly sensitive skin underneath, pinching and poking and swirling around his navel before digging into the money spot. “Just imagine if the folks out there could see you now, the big, bad king of Hell, meanest and toughest in the land – but I know the truth. You’re just my ticklish li’l kitty, aren’t ya? Aren’t ya?”

The tears were still streaming down the Devil’s cheeks thick and fast – but now for an entirely different reason, and when Dice leaned down to rub his face lovingly into his trembling fur, nuzzling and nibbling at every bit of skin he could reach, he came completely undone.

“Y-yehehehehehes!” the Devil bleated, pounding his fist desperately against his desk as Dice smothered his belly with part kisses, part raspberries, but every bit too ticklish to stand for much longer. He only realised what he’d admitted to when they eased off and Dice stood up, grinning from pip to pip at having apparently heard the answer he wanted.

“There, now, doesn’t that feel better?” he cooed, emerald eyes sparkling with sadistic satisfaction and affection as he cupped the Devil’s burning cheeks in his gloves, thumbs stroking over the tear trails in his fur before pressing a brief but tender kiss to his nose. “No more tears.”“Youhuhuhu - dirty, cheatin’, sneaky, no-good…” The Devil rubbed at his arms, trying to shake off the lingering tingles along with his goofy smile while gathering his breath and dignity; Dice just chuckled and preened at his choice descriptors as if they were the highest praise – which, coming from the Devil, maybe they were. “Listen. If you tell anyone about this…”

He didn’t specify whether he meant the crying or the tickling – neither were exactly fitting for his fearsome reputation – but Dice nodded, miming zipping up his mouth and pressing a finger to his lips.

“Wouldn’t dream of tellin’ a soul, boss. Why would I, when I can have you like this all to myself?” He winked as he caught the Devil’s eye, fluttering his fingers before disappearing back into the hallway. “Catch ya later.”

The door swung shut and the Devil leaned back in his chair with a long-suffering yet contented sigh, smoothing his claws through his ruffled fur before resuming his work. They’d see who caught who later, alright, his usual scheming grin creeping back into place just thinking about the fun they’d have. The Devil always gave back a thousand times worse than he got – he did have that diabolical reputation to maintain.

And, just maybe, there was still a hell of a lot to love about his job after all.

#tickling #tickle fic #tickle fanfic #cuphead tickling #cuphead tickles #gettin back on that bullshit #tem writes #my fic

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