Tumgik
#and i mean it’s not like i can rlly afford to not live with them back home
inthewild-flowers · 1 year
Text
i should be banned from music that reminds me of home goddamn
2 notes · View notes
15-lizards · 11 months
Note
hello 👋 do you have any south east asian pics in your folder? clothes or fabrics or hair. please can you assign them asoiaf houses or regions for funsies? i’m south east asian and i’m dying to see it 😍
Yesss I love southeast Asian fashion let’s go!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
THIS IS SO OLD VALYRIA TO ME Thai fashion you will always be famous. The simple but elegant silhouette, the gauzy and silk fabrics, the intricate patterns and ofc all the of the detailed gold jewelry!!! Just imagine it giant dragon shaped crowns and ear cuffs and wrapping bracelets inlaid with gems and passed down as family heirlooms it’s too good. And the outfits themselves are perfect for the muggy and hot Valyrian weather but are still able to to exude elegance and give off a sense of power by the rich who are wearing them bc wealth is in the details!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Vietnamese clothing my beloved I think this kind of fashion would be see on the outskirts of YiTi, (but not actually in YiTi bc ancient China is what I think of) so the close proximity would mean outfits are pretty similar. Loose pants/skirt with a loose shift, and then any number of extra skirts and robes (silk and embroidered for the rich, cotton and plain for the poor). But unlike YiTi there are not extra belts and drapes and other complex additions. Also hats!! these kind of circular hats for everyone bc the rich ladies need to keep pale skin also they live fairly close to the Red Waste
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Myanmar is kinda of giving me Volantis honestly. Many can afford to dress finely bc they’re the richest of the free cities and a trade port, so skirts and sleeves are nice and long and jewelry is made from the finest metals. But since the weather is very humid and sticky, clothes are thinner and there are never more than two layers, with the under layer being made of something breathable. And outer layers are loose enough to catch a breeze. Since the city is very old and very crowded, the general vibe feels very cramped, leading people to wear a long silhouette, instead of a wider one
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Traditional Laos clothing reminds me a lot of the Tokars worn in Ghischar and Slavers Bay. A simple straight skirt and sleeveless top (but well made and well decorated) with the addition of a long drape of fabric over one shoulder. The more expensive and longer the fabric is, the richer you are. Also lots of gold jewelry for an elegant look, probs inspired by Volantis since they’re rlly close (though maybe a little bit simpler than Valyria cause slavers bay is never going to reach that level of power soz)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And Indonesia is rlly giving me the islands and lands around Tyrosh and Myr. It’s a costal area in a hot climate so I feel like there is just a lot less need for a ton of coverage. Simply cut wrap skirts and dresses but the patterns man the patterns!!! So beautiful and have fringe and are just so unique 🫶 ALSO headdresses are very important for like religious ceremonies and weddings and such and it probably isn’t hard to get one since the Tyroshi are insane ab fashion (to me) and Myrish artisans are the best in the world so yeah
107 notes · View notes
xxbl00ds0akeds3raxx · 4 months
Note
hey, fifi? seraphina? my love, my one and only… we really need to talk.
i was reading through your old posts and i found some REALLY weird stuff there.
like, okay, i know we’ve talked about ur other… flings before. i’ll tolerate them for you, you still know that. but.. what’s this about working at the brothel??? PLEASE tell me someone was joking writing that… in all of those asks… this has to be some weird joke, right???
at least with ur modeling and streaming, i can keep you safe. no one can hurt u there. but the brothel? sure, the whole town is crawling with rapists, but why would u intentionally go where they’re all gathered??? u even SAID that u KNOW it’s unsafe. why do u keep working there? it has to be a joke. if it’s not, u need to quit.
please. I can get us a flat or something since u can’t stay at my house. or get my parents to like u more. It’ll just take a bit more time. u don’t have to keep working to earn money. or at least not there. i could keep us safe, and happy… i just don’t know why u don’t trust me to do that!!
…i need to go look through the rest of ur posts now too. don’t block me, i have other accounts too, you already know that. u can’t keep hiding these things from me.
is there anything else u want to admit now too?? u know i'll find out eventually.
i’m TRYING to be good for u here. but it’s getting really fucking hard. i'm just trying to protect u.
…please reply.
- kylar
hhh hello kylar! my love, my pretty boy!!! umm!! tha thing abt my old posts is that they r old! ^.^ no need to look through the rest of them. not that i'm hiding anything from u— i just think we should talk b4 u... mmm, rile urself up more maybe ??
ofc i have no reason 2 lie to u sooo ahaha... ^_^ yes, i used to work at the brothel. i mean...,, i technically still do but mostly just to restock the facilities! i dont dance anymore. except for fridays,,, but all of that is very meticulously planned out and none of it is real! just a show!! briar makes sure it's safe 4 me bc umm the audience rlly likes me and i make her a lot of money so i can't just... quit really–
i don't have 2 fuck anyone there anymore, so its okay, right?? i could go over tha terms n conditions of shows w/ u if it'd make u more comfortable ??? ^^' i swear ik what i'm doing & i am being safe now, i didn't tell u bcos i knew u wld get worried and i never want to make u upset im sorry :((
baby, that sounds wonderful but... how would you even afford a flat— ? i mean, i could pitch in of course, but i still have to pay off bailey :/ and i have 2 be responsible 4 robin as well,,, u know im working hard 2 get on ur parents good sides but it will take time ಥ_ಥ
i do trust u!! i know u have my best interest in mind <3 it's just that um... sometimes wat u want isn't... realistic- like,,, even if i did quit, the problems wouldn't go away. i made my bed n now i gotta lie in it & until i have tha resources to cover it up,,, its smth we have 2 live w/ 〒▽〒 ghhh im sorry that i've dragged u into all of this :( i will make it up 2 u i promise !!!
u are being so good and i'm so proud of u, i love u so much <3 plz be patient w/ me, i'm also trying,,,
13 notes · View notes
dogcodedcatboy · 3 months
Note
pre relationship: 3, general: 3, 6, love: 10, 13, domestic life: 7 !!
hihihihihihi !!!! i cant wait to start s2 tonight i need to see my kittycat i need to see him !!!!! thank u for always sending asks my aaroman warrior o7 u should rb this ask game 2 so i can pelt u w waystarshipping and jermstone questions
Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?
absolutely fucking not!!!!!!
by the time any of the roys find out its too late, theyre already very much together. i think the fam knows abt aaron before 04x03 and like, willingly keeps him a secret (have 2 believe none of them would out a family member for personal gain. if not just to avoid the shitstorm for logan). some of them wuld obviously would prefer for roman to a) not be gay or b) at least not be dating a Fucking Weirdo. oh well!
aarons friends are also not. thrilled. for obvious reasons. reactions range from 'ok...u r gold digging, right? does this mean we can afford a hot tub :D' to 'morally/ethically what the Actual fuck is wrong with you bro???'
What was their first kiss like?
hmm the first time they kiss probably an impulsive. half-drunken thing. prolly after their first '''date''' (which roman insists is not a date despite calling him up and inviting him for dinner and drinks). it's rlly messy, roman is kind of an awful kisser at first (out of practice #nobitches) so aaron is kinda like...ok....but it's very endearing somehow.
What’s their relationship with each other’s families?
i could write a dissertation on. aaron and the roys. i think he's...polite? i mean, he knows roman is super close to them despite how fockin shitty they are to him all the time, so he's willing to grin and bear it. he doesnt like ken for Reasons (annoying on twitter, involvement in 'dog pound', annoying in real life)*, he's rightfully intimidated by shiv, he thinks connor is rlly fuckin funny, he has a weird psychosexual obsession w tom (as stated, would put tom in a saw trap), he thinks greg is cool and would like to talk about his record collection w him.
*authors footnote: i personally like kendall a lot i do love the fucked up brother dynamic between ken and rome BUT aaron is protective and an asshole and doesnt care abt nuance if youre mean to his boyfriend you go to the gulag for 1000 years ! aarons friends are hsi family! he lives w his childhood + college besties! they are all spectacular assholes as well so roman weirdly fits in! roman likes aarons bff because he is also a snarky asshole. one of aaron's college friends actually is from LA, so that's another person he can relate to somewhat. ovi he's a rich asshole tho and like, has to adapt to how normal people live and socialize (aaron and his friends arent even normal theyre like a weirdly codependent found family) but. they all kind come around to him! (will post extended oc universe lore someday on god)
Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?
i think they both are kinda stupid abt feelings and prefer physical affection, as sometimes its easier to manage than like, pouring your heart out. aaron is big on words of affirmation tho, once they r more comfy in their relationship/roman is more comfortable w receiving stuff like that.
Who remembers the little things?
aaron is def a romantic, he's big on anniversaries, quick to pick up little things like roman's coffee order, his favorite snacks, etc. roman is a little rusty but is surprisingly sensitive when he cares about someone. he's super in to aaron, so he makes sure to note all of aarons favorite movies and albums (so he can bring them up later and Totally sound like he knows what he's talking about).
[also they r a beautiful ocd (aaron) x adhd (roman) couple so in general aaron is Incredibly on top of things (or else he might die, who knows!) while roman is a fockin mess with remembering shit.]
Who kills the bugs in the house?
the real answer is gustav. he eats them. aaron will hold the cat up and he will take care of business.
8 notes · View notes
wonderloste · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
DEAR ALICE ... IN SHORT , HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THOSE OF US IN WONDERLAND TO YOU , OUTSIDER ! / OH SHIT ANOTHER NEW YEARS POST FROM SOMEONE ON YOUR DASH ?! yes, that's me! i don't want to ramble too long, but i do want to thank everyone who has supported me on this blog over the past year & especially with how chaotic it's been on my end. i know my activity hasn't been great this year and i've been struggling a lot, but i still appreciate so much the people who have stuck by me & still interacted with me despite all the stuff i've been going through. <4 being here & talking to everyone & getting in interactions where i could has helped make 2022 a better and less lonely year than it would have been, otherwise.
i'm so sorry to people who i've let down when it comes to interactions & getting back to them through messages and whatnot. 2022 was genuinely such a rough year for me, but i am infinitely more grateful that in spite of those things, so many of you have still decided to stick with me. this blog was... so ambitious when i made it & i honestly didn't think i'd make it this far or that anyone would have any interest in a bunch of random furry ocs KJNEMRKHJM. i was just a fan of otome with a will to roleplay & a dream :') but you all have given so much love to these ocs and i can't thank you enough.
i hope that moving forward i'm able to interact with more of you!! and to continue interactions with those i've already started them with!! or rekindle ones that got caught up in my absence. thank you so much for your patience with me, & for sticking around! i hope you all have a HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR & that 2023 is kind to us!!
now let's point some fingers under the cut ehehehehe.
— FAMNESIA ... my little discord group clowns ! most of us have been in the discord for like, what? 6 years now? or smth? we spend pretty much every day together, both on & off tumblr rp so !
@londonfallen › ew it's my fiance AAAAAAAA MICHAEL. thank you so much for everything you do for me on this blog!! i'm so thankful to you, it's partially thanks to you this darn thing even exists. you rlly do fund so much content on here & i'm always thankful to have you participate in lore & art uwu i know this year has been especially rough on us, but hopefully 2023 will help us get back on our feet & you'll find your will to keep writing !! you've been doing so good lately look at you go <4 you rose out of the dead for silas and gave him love at first sight can u believe it... your blog & lore has so much thought put into it, i wish you'd be kinder to yourself and less mean to the things you create. your art & writing is beautiful u should be bragging on the dash 24/7 about how cool you are, actually. ily thank u for making the year better even when it was miserable on us, we're going to have the most disgusting wedding ever one day when we can afford mickey mouse wedding us before the eyes of kami-sama, our lord and savior mr. walt disney!!
@kusaranai › your ass doesn't even log onto tumblr anymore biancnya so i'll have to link this to your dms BUT I'M INCLUDING YOU ANYWAYS BC I CAN NEVER MAKE THESE POSTS WITHOUT YOU. i love u my wonderful furry waifu !! by wonderful i mean cursed and by waifu i mean the sleep paralysis demon i see when i get choked out in phasmophboia. my career on tumblr really blossomed when you came into my life and ruined it uwu and it will continue to blossom now that u are long gone and only annoy me on discord ! SOMEWHERE LIGHT AND KUMA LIVE ON. somewhere, even more importantly, i still have light telling kurisu that he loves her shoved into my drafts on an abandoned blog...
@galaxiasus › THE SMOL OF THE GROUP AAAAAAAAA LUNYA. i'm so glad that you've been around more often this year, even though it's been hard on everyone bc 2022 was phew. man it sure was huh. KJNERHKJN as always i'm so glad seeing you on my dash but i'm even more glad that you've actually remained active icb it </4 ur the only person who didn't abandon me on tumblr for 5 years until ren joined us, we were the sole beacons of rp together for a long while and we have so many good ships bc of it!! you're such a joy to write with and your writing is amazing 10/10 idc wtf you say lmfao. i'm so glad i got to rejoin famnesia and reconnect with you and i look forward to holding ur hair back while u scream cry throw up at the end of endwalker !! i'm sorry i'm so slow with dms but rest assured seeing u screaming in them always brightens my day
@zorkaya › REN REN REN REN aaaaaaaaaaaaa. did u know i used to be scared of you when i was a wee little unicorn... many blogs ago... tragic KEJRNHM. I'M SO GLAD that you joined the famnesia server and got to talk with all of us more often!! ofc we've been friends by proxy for a good couple years, but i'm happier to get the chance to talk to you more consistently / often :') you're such a sweet and super cool person, and your writing is so good !! thank u for teaching my fiance and my cohealer how to write pr0n. uwu zarina is such a beautiful & well developed character!! i'm so proud of you for picking up a strong female villain and sticking with her even though the rpc can be whiny when it comes to them. zarina DESERVES to be op and anyone who cries about it is a weak baby bitch. i look forward to writing more with you moving forward !! on all blogs !! with all my muses !!! take the whole roster idc
@eidetic187 › HI VERONICA UR ALSO NEW IN THESE PARTS, i'm just as glad to see you among our msging chaos throughout the day !! even though our schedules are different bc you're on night shift, it's always fun to wake up and see what's transpired in chat lmFAO. finally someone who appreciates the visual novel classics just like me !! kicks really cursed dating sims under the rug so that they cannot be seen. we don't look at those. we're all super glad to have you around partaking in all our discussions and i hope that the next year is kinder to you in every possible way !! also that you and your partner have a hella good new year together once you get out of work and are able to chill together :') we've been mutuals for like 500 years i feel like you were on my first follow forever tm {remember those} on monokuma and u will be on the last one when tumblr burns
@hakureimaiden › omg u came back just in time to force me to write more ppl on this post icb it /j IRMA WELCOME BACK TO THE HELLSITE i've been here on my lonesome for so long except the occasional showing of michael and luna, it's nice to see one of the og muses has survived since the disney murder game days... as always you are a pleasure on both the dash And in the chat!! you brought a lot of really neat friends together by merging our groups together and it's made things super fun getting into xiv and stuff with you!! i'm not always the most :') timely ship partner when it comes to msgs with how whack i've been this year, but i'm hoping wITH NEW ENERGY IN 2023 we can develop romesen... carmeo.... yeah carmeo, WE CAN DEVELOP THEM MORE KJERNHM. regina george is romeo's type? man. would not have guessed. UR SUCH A SWEET CHILL PERSON I HOPE U KNOW FAMNESIA FISTBUMPS WITH U.
@rotinthedark › HALEEEEEEEEEEY i know talking thru groups and stuff isn't ur thing and i'm naturally quiet on discord BUT U STILL GET TO BE HERE because :') we have worked so very hard for the sebalex ship and they are FINALLY making headway and i'm so excited for it!! alex? having a crush on seb? it is a-go, we are THERE, we have MADE IT KEJRNHM you're such a nice & fun person to talk to, and i absolutely ADORE writing with you!! sometimes our interactions are what keeps my love for stardew alive just bc i have like 500 hrs on it and sometimes i'm like broe what else can i even do... i can log on and reply to haley... that's what i can do... i had never thought of sebalex as a ship too srsly until writing with you and now it CONSUMES me i am broken. pls.
— SPECIAL ALICES ...
@dangaer › hi jupiter <4 i want u to know that your blog is one of my favs on this hellsite, i hope you know that the way you write ALL of your muses is so very pleasing to read. all their characterizations are genuinely SO GOOD. i've mentioned it before but even characters i didn't like much or just didn't consider v often are characters you've made me care about just seeing you talk about / write them on the dash!! like ofc i am so intensely biased to the amnesia muses bc that otome has... a very special place in my heart but despite what our rp history may make u think!!! i have played others!! KJNEMRH and your characters are SPOT ON, always, without fail. i love our ships & threads / interactions, even though i can be slow getting to stuff !!! the dynamic we've built up with ikki and darcy is one of my favs, i love them SO MUCH and idk i just think. they're like. kinda valid for wanting to destroy wonderland and stay together. the normal ending? a good option. i support them. i can't WAIT to see aleister and kageyuki's dynamic grow likewise, i know i'm going to love it just as much!! thank you so much for writing with me & support my dumb otome ocs :') i know they aren't a Real Otome, but it is v sweet to be indulged as if they are. i'm in tears rn actively.
@redemptioninterlude › HENLO FRIEND u might be surprised to find yourself here, but :') i do keep up with your blog quite often actually. i know that i've dropped the ball on interactions a lot, this year has been so... much for me, & my activity really suffered, but i want you to know that i LOVE your blog!! and all of what we HAVE done together! and while i love alice specifically, for obvs reasons, i do also read your other threads / dynamics that you put on the dash and pls know that your writing slaps KJNERHM literally there's never a miss, from rue euphoria to ur interesting and well developed ocs, all of them are written in a way that's so amazing to read. you take such a diverse cast & breathe so much life into them, and i'm very lucky to be able to perceive your content when it gets posted. i hope in 2023 we're able to interact together more frequently !! :squeezes my wonderlandians like they're squeaky toys: i want to get a handle on my content SO BADLY and get stuff going with you again, on god !!
@heincus › maaaaaax i already yelled as you over your muses a lot, but i'll yell again!! so help me after i get moved into my new apartment after the holidays i would LOVE to figure out some match ups / dynamics between our muses because all your ocs have so much love / care put into them and they're all SO MUCH fun!! i love how much passion you have for writing, and how boundless your imagination is. ocs are HARD to write, you have to come up with a lot and juggle world building and character building and all the things, but you make it look so effortless :') your roster is full of so many colorful and expansive personalities and stories. i want to pick them up like barbie dolls and throw them at whatever the fuck weirdos are on my own roster and simply see what sticks. the possibilities? endless. rlly though your writing is so good, you should be proud of what you've created on your blog and i am so glad that i get to interact with you during times i'm not awol lying dead in a ditch ty &lt;4
@galaxylimbs › BANGS POTS AND PANS TOGETHER AAAAAAA u may not think it because my replies are slow as hell rn, but i love our ships HI HELLO EKJNHM. from code vein to oc otome hell, i'm so glad to see you back around again!! know that even though i can take 10 years to reply to things, i do absolutely love the dynamics we have with deirdre / magnus and louis / belle. it's such a joy getting to write with you, and i am SO DETERMINED to give you more ship content this upcoming year. i'm happy as well that louis and belle are back, they're such a fantastic duo and i have... so many emotions over code vein to this day, i'm excited to get back into exploring that world with you :') just as well getting to expand on deirdre and magnus's interactions, the potential is untapped !! thank u for sticking around and writing with me friend aaa
— FLOWERS IN THE GARDENS ... i love seeing you all on my dash! it's likely i've left you on read at some point or shoved our drafts in my box, but please know there's no lack of interest on my part. perhaps we haven't interacted at all, but unbeknownst to you, i see you on the dash all the time & you've left an impression. either way, i adore seeing you around & i absolutely want to interact with you!! thank you so much for brightening up my day with your writing. although i may be quiet, i notice u, and i am a fan kjenrhmkjernhm.
@untowonder / @innocenceimpulse / @seeasunset / @snowfeathered / @starlit-heir / @vibraea / @aceparagon / @jardinae / @tvrningout / @swerte / @aetherbled / @pluviacuratio / @synthwealth / @decoresca / @wishngs / @hymnblood / @tricksheart / @strywoven / @xdcwntherabbithole / @mcmcntomorii / @frestoniia / @reapcrbunny / @double-knots / @acandlelitdeath / @jaxxmulti / @tellescope / @hiisfire / @crownedveil / @shrapnelsong / @box-of-characters / @xamassed / XOXO TO U ALL !!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!
60 notes · View notes
tineetinylily · 3 months
Note
OKAY SOO.. this is asyluns main account and I've come to share kavehtham opinion.
I feel like it can't be healthy at ALLLL. like al haitham constantly just belittles kaveh and not in the cutesy 'enemies to lovers' way, just straight up in the 'this is not a healthy relationship' way
like. oughhh. idk how people can watch scenes of them interacting and go 'awwwhhh' just bc they're roommates an I KNOW the whole 'omg they were roomates' thing but they so obviously HATE each other. kaveh is living with someone who constantly belittles him and upsets him on purpose just because he can't afford to live on his own, that sounds like HELL.
I have so much more to say but I feel like this isn't even coherent so. HELP enjoy that!!
Sorry for the late reply but SO TRUE. I know their relationship in the past was complicated in the sense that they used to be friends and then falling out of it because of an argument and all that. And ik Alhaitham somewhat still cares abt him (I mean they used to be friends) but like. It's still seems dysfunctional as HELL.
Like the game considers them as 'mirrors' or 'two sides of the same coin' but it also points out how conflicting their personalities are. I'd be more interested in them rekindling their friendship (and not argue so much)
I'm AWARE of all the canon content for them. I know how 'gay-coded' they supposedly are. But do I look like I care? Nuh uh. Ngl I'm glad they're only implied bc I feel like they would not work at all. (I think I'm just not rlly into the "divorced" type ships)
Ngl my mood abt them can go from "they're kind of funny/fine" to me wanting to rip them to shreds./hj
Anyways thank you for answering! It was very interesting to hear your opinion (I feel like I can go on and on abt them) I hope you're having a great day/night!
Tumblr media
6 notes · View notes
soullessjack · 4 months
Text
so uh suncaptor blocked me and although they can’t see it, i do first want to say i am sorry if I’ve upset them or made them feel like they’re being accused of anything. that wasn’t my intent and never is. but I rlly can’t stress enough that the forefront of the problem with their perspective is inherently seeing jack as an infant within canon. like this isn’t an ableism thing, it’s just a factually wrong thing.
Asmodeus says that Jack is new to the world, but not a child.
Jack says twice that he could not be and is not a child.
The only person to ever call Jack a child is Michael, and he explicitly says so to belittle Jack and make him feel weak.
There is plenty of merit in discussing Jack’s limited experience as a factor in his character, but I’ve only ever seen it taken in the vein that he is infantile and therefore a perpetual victim of everything because of it is, which just wrong by the show’s own portrayal. Not only that, but it does it disregard the actual power imbalance he has with TFW, and how that itself so factors into his character. I don’t know how or why it’s brushed off so much, but Jack is literally “the most powerful being in the universe.” He’s regarded as a threat constantly, and repeatedly expresses the very real fear that he might hurt his family or anybody else in a moment of lost control.
I also feel that the idea of his dynamic being considered as exclusively mistreatment by TFW/the other hunters is just. Not true. Like, Dean’s bullshit lasted for two weeks before he got over himself and he canonically never forgave himself for it for the entire two years he got to know Jack better. And again, Jack is the strongest person in the team. Nothing they have can remotely hurt him, and he’s very much aware of it, hence the sunshiny golden boy act. Jack is constantly trying to make himself appear safer. It’s about being liked, of course, but it’s also about being distinctly Not A Threat Because to jack, That’s Why He’s Hated.
when Mrs Butters states that Jack is so powerful Sam and Dean should be afraid of him, he never outwardly refutes that he’s powerful. he only says “but I would never hurt them.” when Michael is monologuing to him about how powerful he’ll become with age, he “doesn’t want to admit that could be possible.” Jack is very painfully aware of his power and what it means for the people around him, and he’s also very aware of their fear when it’s directed at him. He’s felt that fear.
Jack has an interesting and confusing dynamic with TFW from the start: that he must be protected from harm while also being kept from causing harm himself. re this post about his autonomy, and how he wants to be seen as trustworthy and safe, it’s extremely upsetting to Jack when he thinks that dynamic has shifted or changed. he’s blatantly annoyed to have everybody check up on him and look over his shoulder, to give him food tests for his morality; to not really trust him, especially after all he does for them and to belong with them.
I know a LOT of this stuff stems from Jack In The Box and I understand how and why it did and frankly that episode is its own can of worms so ill be as brief as I can and highlight a few things about JITB first:
• re his limited experience being a factor in his character, jack is incredibly naive to the point of it being a fatal flaw, one he cannot afford to have and is very aware of the cost it comes with. he views his naivety as a weakness, as stupidity, and him “sucking when it matters,” and per his need to be Safe and Trustworthy he is always trying to be Smarter and Stronger and Better and More Capable than his flaws or perceived weaknesses. that is one of the horrors of his character, and one which inherently drives him through all of his arcs, especially agreeing to be locked up under false pretenses because, again, HE KNOWS HE IS DANGEROUS AND WANTS TO BE SAFE.
Dean was reliving his childhood trauma after decades of living with it and never fully recovering from it; he had every reason to be behaving the way he did. His conflict with Jack is very easily summarized as two insanely unstable guys spiraling and hurting each other in their own grief. And again, he spent two years regretting and unforgiving what he did to Jack early on and making concerted efforts to amend for it as a father/friend/mentor. He’s a better parent than he’s given credit for is what I’ll end with.
The box was never going to keep Jack forever. We already knew he would get out. It’s hard to say this in a way that doesn’t undermine the trauma Jack indefinitely has from it, but it cannot physically hurt him and cannot kill him. Sam and Dean tricking him into it is not a threat or imbalanced abuse (and I cannot stress enough, these are not normal healthy people with normal problems or normal healthy solutions). In fact, the entire scene of him breaking out and leering out at them through smoke with pure hatred in his eyes just shows that he is the one on the other side of the imbalance, not them. Jack is the threat, and the dynamic is tense because of it.
I’m kind of losing myself in the ramble, but what I am trying to say is that
A) Jack is not an infant. Never was one, never will be, and he hates being called one because it’s almost always in the context of belittlement and him being weak/incapable. he shows sexual and romantic interest, he has a love interest, he’s regarded as a young adult by everybody who respects him (so not Michael). he wants to pull his own weight, and resents being considered a burden.
B) Jack is not helpless; he is a nigh-omnipotent demigod with apocalyptic levels of power, especially in the case of mental/emotional instability. He deeply fears hurting his loved ones, and strives to have constant control over himself so that he can be safe for them. The power imbalance only lies in his choice to not hurt them, which he has chosen against in those silly fits of rage that nobody ever acknowledges
B+ ) and he isn’t a helpless victim of child abuse either; for all of their dysfunctions and “I might have to kill you”s (which have always been there pre-jack), TFW2.0 does genuinely love each other as a family and make efforts to be better for each other. They’ve faltered before, but again, they aren’t normal people dealing with normal situations and they do not have the liberty to respond normally or even appropriately.
C) Jack’s lack of experience and knowledge is a very real thing, but it’s more about him constantly trying to make the right decisions and earn peoples’ trust in him that he will make them, as well as avoid making the wrong ones because that consistently leads to him hurting people who don’t deserve it. All of which is wrapped up in a little pink bow as to Jack asserting his autonomy/personhood and arguing for his capability/responsibility at any chance.
••
I’m not angry and I’m not ever trying to attack anyone. It’s just incredibly frustrating that this specific misconception fumbles the rest of the discussions people have around jack and only ever makes it harder to have them. which in turn is even more frustrating on a personal level because he’s my special interest and I can never not think about him, but there’s hardly anything to engage with on a broader level
7 notes · View notes
thebad---catholic · 2 years
Note
dems have had literally decades to codify roe v wade. i'll vote for my local elections but as a very young person, that's it. all of em are the same. talk a big talk then proceed to do jack shit in office other than make themselves richer. besides, i'll worry about my personal rights once i can afford rent/gas/groceries, which have skyrocketed in the last few months. sorry if this comes off rude, I'm just super frustrated w how awful everything is right now :(
It’s the fillabuster, love.
American politics is deeply, chronically, prodigiously stupid. One of the many ways this shows itself is the filibuster.
In a logical world, the senate could pass a law with a 51-49 vote (rlly, in a logical world, the senate wouldn’t exist at all, but that’s not the point rn)
There is no limit on debate time in the senate. This means that a bill can be argued for hours, days, or even months at a time. Debate must conclude before a law can pass. As it stands currently, 41 senators can issue a filibuster. 60 are needed to end it, and then the 51 can pass a law.
Now, in theory, this isn’t…terrible? Like it’s dumb, but there is value in letting the minority party say their piece without fear of being steamrolled every single time. Checks and balances or something. You can read more about it here
However, as you might imagine, this system is rife for abuse. Ted Cruz read green eggs and fucking ham to halt the vote on Obamacare . For 21 hours. Straight. The “debate” doesn’t have to make sense or be about the bill, you just have to keep talking.
The votes needed to change senate rules to abolish/amend the filibuster is again, 60. The last time democrats had control of the senate by that much was in 1978. While I’m not familiar with party demographics for that time period, it was more of a gray area than the sharp partisanship we have now. Party allegiance was a little…weird back then. Progressives like JFK and FDR, who both favored a strong federal government were in the same party as states rights anti-equality segregationists. So, it’s likely that in 1978, the democrats wouldn’t have had any motive to get rid of the filibuster like they do now.
All this is to say- no, the democrats have not had decades to codify roe. Things are even more all over the place on a state by state level. In PA, for example, I’d say a slim majority of the population (that votes, any way) is democrats. The problem, of course, is that they’re concentrated in cities. So, we usually end up with a Democrat governor, but a split or majority Republican legislature bc they’re from specific districts.
It is a right wing myth to say the parties are the same. They are not. The democrats are, at worst, spineless tone deaf liberals who’ve been in office way too long. Republicans, at BEST, are like Mitt Romney, who is a rare example of a “normal” conservative. As a whole, the Republican Party is a fascistic organization. They are explicitly racist, misogynistic, queer phobic, and anti-democracy. If you don’t vote in every capacity that you can, you won’t have to worry abt your personal rights, because you won’t have them.
We are dealing with a party that does not care about the democratic process, but does not CURRENTLY have the ability to fully act on that impulse. The way to stave them off is to keep them out of positions of power. Forever, on every level of government.
Also, affordable living IS YOUR PERSONAL RIGHT. Take a wild guess over which party is overwhelmingly against rent caps, raising minimum wage, unionizing, UBI, or having a social safety net of any kind.
I don’t think you came off as rude at all anon, and I am deeply sympathetic to your frustration. But I will not respect or placate your apathy. Apathy means oppression. Apathy means death.
Vote.
7 notes · View notes
hellyesbro · 2 years
Text
I rlly fucking hate myself sometimes. I have shown time and time again that I am completely and utterly fucking incapable of taking care of myself and all I can ever hope to do is find people who I manage to charm enough to get them to decide to take care of me. The person I feel the worst for is Lily. She didn’t fucking ask for any of this. When we met in college I was trying so fucking hard to pretend to be normal. To do school, get a degree, get an office job, become a functioning member of society. I’ve always known it was all a mask. I always new it was all going to come crumbling down. Even when I was winning scholarships and getting good grades I knew I couldn’t fucking keep it up. She didn’t. She thought she fell in love with a girl who could take care of herself, get a double-tech-income home, pay for surgeries, afford a home, save up for a future. Now all she has is a disabled fucking retard who can’t even hold a part-time wage job for more than a few months max. I spent so much time hoping i could make her think I was worth it. That maybe if I was sweet enough of helped out enough I could make my presence worth being a burden on everyone and everything. I can’t even cook or keep the house clean. The best I can fucking do is walk down the street to buy her dinner when she’s feeling depressed. I can’t even do that out of my own pocket anymore. She tells me everyone in her family thinks I’m a fucking loser. So do some of her friends I guess. I can’t even argue. I am. I try so fucking hard not to be. To find a way to put up with it all. Piece it together in ways where I don’t crumble under the lightest fucking set of expectations. But I just fucking can’t. Im a piece of shit bottom-feeder who will literally never amount to anything. I’ve made peace with it. My only life goals are to make it through the day, every day, forever until one day I fail and I beef it and fucking die. I’m just a fucking drain on the pockets and resources of everyone around me. I could do the noble thing and kill myself but I don’t think I will. Despite it all, despite how much I suck and how fucking worthless and wretched I am I don’t want to die. I just want to live a life where it doesn’t have to be like this. I don’t think I ever will but I guess I’m still having more fun being scum than dead. I don’t know how to be better than this. All I ever do is try. I think capitalism is the problem to be fair. I think if I didn’t have to ask others to pay my rent and food people would view me as a sweet and caring young woman. I mean people already do. But the fact that I can’t take care of myself means that charm runs out. Capitalism is strangling everyone else as much as it’s strangling me and I think because of that I’ll always be a burden to everyone who cares about me. I don’t want to be this kind of animal and I am.
4 notes · View notes
frogtanii · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
℗ home
kenma x fem!reader (poker face ending)
series masterlist
♡´・ᴗ・`♡
wc. 2.9k (ahaha)
warnings. NOT PROOFREAD, liberal use of italics, soft soft, kenma in denial, allusions to marriage, bokuto and kuroo meddling, drinking, declarations of love, SMUT!!! (is marked off!), sub!kenma, handjob + blowjob, slightly insecure!kenma, meiko mentions, enthusiastic consent, one (1) katamari reference, vocal!kenma, uhh
an. good golly gee i HATE ending the endings m so bad at it AND the smut is lil weirder to skip??? like it’s not impossible or anything but it’s not as smooth as atsumu’s, m rlly sorry :((((( but i rlly hope y’all enjoy hehe don’t forget to feed me shawties :3
Tumblr media
the loud obnoxious pop music blasting in the crowded bar around kenma made him want to fling himself into the moon at the nearest opportunity.
okay, so that was a little dramatic but the fact still stood.
he was crammed into a tiny booth with kuroo, bokuto, and akaashi, the former brushing up against him with every little movement, making kenma bristle in discomfort.
why the hell did i agree to this, kenma thought while sipping on his cranberry juice. he’d never enjoyed drinking, his true thoughts and feelings coming out way too easily once intoxicated. it was so infuriating being a lightweight, especially when everyone around him was disgustingly drunk.
“are you having fun kenma?” bokuto half yelled, half slurred into his ear from across the table. kenma slouched further into the booth’s stained cushions in response, his lack of answer not bothering bokuto in the slightest.
with the boisterous man’s attention successfully diverted by akaashi, kenma allowed his eyes to wander out over the dance floor but he wasn’t really paying them any mind. instead, his mind was occupied with none other than you.
it shouldn’t have been that surprising considering all the time he’d been spending with you recently. it had been a few months since the hyper house had disbanded and while you were enjoying your time living with your best friends, they had way too much sex. like an abnormal amount.
it had gotten to the point where you were having to abscond from the apartment four times a week because they were just so loud.
at first you had found refuge in the 24 hour cafe a few blocks from your place but falling asleep at a hard wood table only to have to walk home at 2am alone was terrible for your peace of mind (and your back).
you’d started complaining about it at your weekly animal crossing hang outs with kenma and he’d offered the brilliant solution of you coming over to his place when makki and mattsun were otherwise... occupied.
you were shocked at his suggestion and aptly so. it was no news that kenma absolutely hated hosting and having people over, especially since he was one of the few former members that were able to afford their own place straight out the gate.
when you’d expressed this, all he had said was, you’re different.
that wasn’t enough for you, evidenced by your once again nightly stays at the cafe but when you had to run home because someone was following you, you begrudgingly agreed to kenma’s offer and started sleeping at his house multiple times a week.
it was a bit to get used to at first, seeing you first thing in the morning with messy hair and sleep-swollen eyes. you were beautiful jarring. but, as time passed, he got used to your presence, making your drink of choice and sliding him his tea in the morning, sending him a soft smile that had him running to the bathroom to hide his blush.
it was all... strangely domestic.
even now, the thought of you in your threadbare sleep shirt, standing in his kitchen while cooking breakfast sent a wave of heat across his face, spreading up to the tips of his ears.
“what are you thinking about that’s got you so red?” kuroo teased, pulling the glass out of kenma’s hands, laughing at his annoying glare. he hoped he could ignore the question as he so often did, but apparently he wasn’t so lucky.
bokuto cackled in his seat before calling out your name, sending a chill of fear down kenma’s spine. “bet he’s thinkin about her! about how he wants to smooch her and maybe more,” he waggled his eyebrows, “i’m just saying!”
the rest of the table let out good natured laughs but kenma was preoccupied with replaying what bokuto had said.
i mean, sure he thought you were pretty, but anyone with eyes would agree! and yeah, maybe spending time with you was the highlight of his week, but it wasn’t his fault you were so genuinely enjoyable to be around. and of course, sometimes when it was late at night, his mind would wander to you and how it would feel to wake up beside you instead of across the hall from you and—
fuck. he liked you. a lot.
then, as if you somehow knew exactly what was on his mind (a terrifying thought to entertain), his phone buzzed in his hoodie pocket. he pulled it out quickly to check it and he hated how his heart picked up in his chest at the sight of your contact name.
[sussy baka <3]: wya shawty 🤨 u have no food in ur fridge n m hungry seen 13:20
[player ew]: s boys night seen 13:22
[sussy baka <3]: 😐
[sussy baka <3]: are u having fun seen 13:25
[player ew]: ... seen 13:28
[sussy baka <3]: yeah that’s what i thought
[sussy baka <3]: bring home some ramen <3 seen 13:31
home. god, if he didn’t like the sound of that coming from you. it took kenma no time at all to start packing up his things, ignoring the knowing looks on his friends faces as he tossed down a couple of bills for his drink and left to go home, where you were.
after stopping at the convenient store, he headed to his apartment building, shopping bag full of ramen in one hand and heart in the other.
no matter what he did, he couldn’t get bokuto’s annoying voice out of his head, telling him that he liked you. and now that he knew it was true? he was kind of spiraling.
the ding of the elevator managed to somehow shake him out of his thoughts, at least for him to get to his front door, but once it was open, all coherent brain activity immediately dissolved.
you were sitting on his couch in the living room, bundled up in one of his mario blankets and wearing one of his hoodies as you watched some animal documentary raptly, sheer disgust written all over your face.
kenma gulped.
he managed to work up the courage to actually enter his apartment, kicking off his shoes by the door and beelining towards the kitchen, not missing your excited call of his name and wide grin.
biting down any other unchecked feelings, he quickly set to work boiling the water for the ramen and then... stood there. boiling water would take a while and he knew he couldn’t avoid you forever but he really, really didn’t want to go sit by you with all these emotions sitting right on his chest.
“kenma, they’re gonna eat the seal!” you yelled from the couch, waving him over frantically. how was he supposed to say no to brutal animal murder on tv? kenma chuckled dryly at his own joke as he made his way over to where you sat, plopping himself on the side of the couch furthest away from you.
he told himself he just didn’t want to bug you when he had to go check the water but he knew it was a lie. he was running from his feelings, from anything that could ruin this.
you shot him a concerned look which he caught out of the corner of his eye but he kept his head firmly forward, unwilling to look at you if he didn’t have to. “kenma, what’s wrong? was boys night that bad?” you asked gently, and fuck if that didn’t make him feel worse.
kenma just shook his head, still choosing not to face you. you let out a long, arduous sigh before scooting across the couch and pressing yourself to his side, pulling his head down to rest on your chest while taking one of his hands into your own.
what the fuck. what the fuck?!1!?1!!?1!
you were so soft and warm and your arms around him made him feel things which was exactly what he was trying to avoid but then you actually started to speak and oh shit it got worse.
“kenma,” you started, running your hands through his deep brown locks, “you know you can talk to me about anything right?”
of course he knew that because this was you and you were so kind and considerate and badass and cool and that was all precisely why he couldn’t talk to you about everything, especially when it came to his emperor of the cosmos sized feelings for you.
but, instead of saying any of that, he allowed you to continue, his body relaxing into your hold against his will.
“i bother you because i care about you and i worry, you know. i know you’re strong and you can take care of yourself but i can’t help it...” if kenma was really listening, he would’ve heard the shakiness in your voice, the apprehension in your words but he didn’t. “i can’t help it because i like you, kenma.”
you... what?
kenma pushed himself off of you to look you in the face, to find any sign that you’re pranking him or just being cruel but he couldn’t find any.
still, he couldn’t take you at your word, after all who would like someone like him?
“say it again,” his voice comes just under a whisper, his words stilted and unsure but he needs to know, he needs to believe you. he wants to believe you.
“i like you.” you don’t use any big, flowery words, nor do you try and justify why you like him and still, somehow it’s enough. kenma’s eyes filled with tears as they’re trained on you but your eyes were occupied elsewhere.
staring at his lips.
“can i kiss you?” you asked softly, not pressuring or forceful but like that was truly just on your mind and you had to ask it. kenma wasn’t sure how he was supposed to resist when you asked him like that. “please,” was his response, already breathy and absolutely wrecked.
you obliged.
•••smut begin•••
surging forward, you pressed your mouth to his, soft lips meeting chapped ones as you moved them insistently against his own. kenma let out an embarrassing whine at the contact, his hands balling into fists by his sides.
yours, on the other hand, wandered, tracing over the hills and valleys of his chest and back before landing right under the hem of his hoodie. you pulled back, laughing quietly at the way he so eagerly chased your lips while halting him with a hand to his sternum.
“can i take this off?” kenma nodded enthusiastically before he could stop himself and you let out another soft huff as you busied yourself with getting him naked.
he tried to help you where he could, but he was ultimately resigned to bask in your movements, in your control as you manhandled him out of every article of clothing he was wearing until he was as naked as the day he was born.
immediately, the insecurities took hold of him, his mouth opening to stutter out an apology for how he looked. meiko’s voice played in his ears, reminding him he wasn’t what the girls went for being too skinny, too sensitive, too loud.
kenma moved to pick his clothes back up to cover himself before retreating to his room where he could die of shame but your firm hand kept him where he sat.
“you’re beautiful,” you said, like you were saying the sky was blue or the grass was green — as an irrefutable fact. your brows were furrowed at first but the expression melted away to show a softer one, one full of love, admiration, and... lust.
a high-pitched whimper left his lips at your gaze, his cock throbbing against his thigh. you grinned and moved back in to kiss him, your hand moving to his throat to hold him in place, his adam’s apple bobbing against your palm.
your other, unoccupied, hand traveled down his body to rub over a nipple, his back arching into your touch as his breath hitched against your mouth. you let out a hum of approval, continuing your ministrations of pinching and plucking the hard bud before moving further down to take a hold of his cock.
kenma broke away from you, a choked wail erupting from his chest as he bucked up into your grip. “can i make you feel good? can i show you how beautiful you are?” you asked earnestly, your thumb gently caressing his jaw.
“please, please, please,” he begged. under normal circumstances, he would be embarrassed at how easily he’d been folding for you, but it was so much easier to just submit to your capable and willing hands.
“good boy,” you tacked on mindlessly, your blown eyes and kiss-swollen lips only adding to your debauched look. internally, kenma preened at the fact that he was responsible for you looking like that, so feral like you just wanted to eat him up.
which was apparently exactly what you wanted to do, evidenced by you sliding onto your knees in front of him, pressing kisses and sucking marks into his pale thighs.
kenma’s hips stuttered beneath you as he watched you get closer and closer to his throbbing member, the tip already bright red and leaking precum.
suddenly, your eyes shot up to his, pinning him with an intense stare as you slowly, slowly brought him to your mouth, the wet heat enveloping the head before you closed your lips around him and sucked.
holy fucking shit.
his reaction was instantaneous. his eyes rolled back into his head, his hips bucked up into your mouth, and a filthy moan escaped from him as you started to get into a nice rhythm sucking his cock.
kenma could barely keep himself quiet, especially when you began toying with his balls, the feeling adding to the coil tightening in his gut.
you pulled all the way off of him before sucking him down the hilt, his mouth opening in a silent scream as you choked around his length, the pleasure that your throat was bringing while you pulsed around him was otherworldly.
he was going to die, he resigned. he was going to die by the biggest orgasm he’d ever had with his penis in your mouth and he was going to love every second of it.
a sharp tap to his inner thigh brought him back down to earth, this bleary eyes trying to focus on your face and once they did, he was taken aback. your eyes held such fondness, such love that he could hardly take it.
kenma couldn’t hold back his thoughts, especially under the intensity of your gaze, his mouth opening to gasp out, “i love you, shit, i love you.”
you pulled off him with a pop but you didn’t stop stroking him, your hand picking up the pace to the point that his thighs were quivering with the strength of his oncoming orgasm.
“say it again,” you threw his words right back at him and if he’d been in his right mind, he might’ve laughed but since he was drowning in pleasure, he immediately followed your orders, groaning out those three words over and over until he was hoarse.
you seemed to enjoy it, so much so that you took the palm of your hand and toyed with the sensitive tip of his cock, sending him right over the edge.
his vision whited out completely as he came with a loud cry of your name, tears trailing from his lashline from the sheer severity of his orgasm, one hand grasped tightly in yours.
•••smut over•••
as kenma came down from his high, he watched you brush his hair from his face before pressing a kiss to his hairline.
“you know, i love you too,” you stated, pulling him up to rest his spent body against your own. he scoffed while playing with your hand, toying with your bare ring finger in a way that you knew was deliberate.
“i figured, you just sucked my dick.” you protested loudly, smacking him gently on the arm when he snickered at your reaction. after your laughter died down, he rested his head back over your heart, listening to the steady beat thrumming beneath his ear.
your hands tangled back into his hair and he felt himself drifting off into dreamland when a loud meow startled him awake again. kyabia (or caviar) stared up at him with unblinking feline eyes, her tail swishing silently against the floor. “oh god, my cat is seeing me naked,” he gasped in horror, your chest heaving against his ear as you cackled.
kyabia quickly got bored and scampered off to who knows where and by that time, kenma was ready to knock back out. you were still laughing though and since you were his human pillow, that just wouldn’t do.
shoving you down on the couch, he buried his head in your chest and muttered a blunt, “sleep,” ignoring the way your giggle made a smile spread across his cheeks.
obviously, you could tell if your own matching grin was anything to go by but you let it be, instead choosing to wrap your arms around him and hold him tighter to your body, like you were trying to pour all your love into the embrace.
kenma only hoped that you would also “let it be” when you caught him ring shopping on his phone just a few weeks later.
it was only a matter of time. why delay when he loved you and you loved him? he knew he couldn’t wait until he could officially call you his.
after all, kozume yn had a nice ring to it.
Oh, home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
Oh, home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
Tumblr media
taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you
@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis
the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!
2K notes · View notes
sewercentipede · 2 years
Text
well i thought i had a better support system with my family than my bf does with his but turns out my parents only know how to give support financially (like i can’t afford my health insurance, my state doesn’t offer Medicaid to anyone who has no children. so they support me by paying for healthcare) but also are abusive financially (using finances to control; I had to secretly close my bank account n open a new one years ago). along with verbal and physical abuse. (And controlling thru things like, refusing to teach me anything growing up. I had to google how to boil water. didn’t know how to drive until I was 19 I think). and the fallout of my mom finding out about my car accident made me unable to take it anymore. if they were poor I would have no support from them either, they only know how to be abusive people. every single interaction with them., if they can’t throw money at it, they go out of their way to be cruel instead and i don’t really get it. so im just. im done with them. im not used to being abused anymore I guess since I left home (my mom kicked me out, it turned out to be a bluff she just wanted to be abusive and cruel, but i left anyway and moved in with my bf). they gifted me my car after i graduated university when i was 20, my mom constantly threatens to take it back when she’s in a bad mood, so I told her to just keep it. take me off the car, car insurance, health insurance, phone plan, said don’t ever contact me again, made sure she knew I am blocking her number. my dad will probably try to contact me too to mediate because they only are aligned with one another when it is to abuse one of their kids. i can love him from afar. I only have one sister that would rlly do anything for me without it being conditional, but she is poor as I am, and is in a similar position as me, but worse probably because she’s far far more dependent on our parents.
this is essentially why i cant break up w my bf. he is the only person who doesn’t gaslight, threaten, yell, purposely say cruel things to me every single conversation. normally he is better to me than I could dream of, that’s why it bothers me so much the times he gets too drunk bc he becomes mean to me and im not used to it. most of the time with him is peaceful and we do well together. i don’t have the luxury of leaving him over things I’ve mentioned on tumblr about him that bother me. because I’m fucking poor. I would have the choice between him and my parents and they are actually, day in and day out, every interaction, abusive. I would have killed myself if I was living with them. I think about that a lot. I would definitely kill myself probably within a year. now , I don’t have that horrible “option” either because I’ve decided to end my relationship with my mom. so the “why don’t u leave him why don’t u break up with him” shit is like. I couldn’t leave him even if our relationship wasn’t harmonious and loving and compatible 90% of the time. I would have nowhere to go, no car, no money. most of our life together is peaceful and full of love and laughter and being a team. no yelling. actual caring, caring for one another. for the past 7 yrs. Polar opposite of living w my parents. they even blame my Crohn’s disease on me like I did it on purpose to myself. Everything is my fault. I’m not allowed to implicate them in blame for anything, in any way shape or form. I have never ever in my life heard my mom ask me how I am 😂 with them there are no conversations, only commands. hitting me, hitting me with objects, slapping me, pulling my hair, grabbing, pushing, damaging my stuff in the process. and screaming/yelling.... oh my god, the yelling and screaming is near constant, it never ends. Living w them is anxiety, fear ,stress ,sadness, anger, 24/7.
this got way longer than I intended . meant to just post really that it sucks realizing that I don’t have support, neither does he, we r alone together (he always says: we are a team), but i hope and think we will be ok just having each other. we will scrape by. my mom is dead to me and hopefully it stays that way and. sometimes wounds r not meant to heal. and u can’t salvage things with ppl who don’t know the meaning of respect. this lifetime is not meant for making every relationship I have perfect by being a perfect human. that would be insane. i just want to not be treated like shit anymore and my mom doesn’t know how else to treat people so. im ok with loving her from a distance. my parents can pretend I don’t exist and then it’s one less disappointment of a daughter for them. and I’m gonna marry my bf so I can have health insurance, it’s just financially and legally a huge benefit to get married and i need health insurance.
20 notes · View notes
raydaug · 3 years
Note
I found Sayaka’s speech to Yumeko just b4 their gamble rlly funny bc she’s talking about how Yumeko is so terrible for driving ppl to desperation and having no other goal than her own entertainment when she’s obsessed with a woman who does the exact same for seemingly the no different reasons
I like this question a lot. There’s a lot to chew on here, so thank you. 
You are right, Yumeko and Kirari are very much two sides of the same coin.But just as the metaphor implies, even though they share a common starting point (gambling), they face out in opposite directions. 
Visually, Kirari and Yumeko seem to be playing on the Red and Blue Oni myth, with Yumeko’s primary color being red and her personality being very...passionate, and Kirari’s primary visual signifier being blue while also having and much cooler personality. 
However, at this point, I think it’s just a visual reference or a simple coincidence. For those unaware, the myth of the Red and Blue Oni is, extremely loosely, that a Red Oni (Japanese Demon) wanted to befriend some humans, but he couldn’t because they saw him as a monster. His friend, the Blue Oni, decides to help him by pretending to attack the village so the Red Oni can fight him off. It works and the humans accept the Red Oni, but he can no longer see his old friend the Blue Oni now because the humans are scared of him. 
While if you squint hard enough, you could potentially see some similarities in this tale between Kirari and Yumeko, and it’s not impossible that the story going forward shapes into something like the above, as things stand right now I don’t see too many similarities beyond the visual motifs of the characters. There is another famous dichotomy that Kirari and Yumeko mirror, and this one has much more textual support; 
God and Satan.
Yumeko as Satan fits neatly into the most modern depictions of the Christian Devil. Yumeko is a seducer. She’s disarmingly attractive, sweet and polite, and uses these aspects of herself to  tempt people into giving in to their base desires for her amusement. Hell, Kirari outright calls Yumeko a “snake in the garden.” (CORRECTION: only in the anime) This is a reference both to Yumeko’s name (Jabami means “snake eater”) as well as the Book of Genesis, when Eve is tempted Satan in the form of a snake into disobeying God’s edict and eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (keep in mind that this is a specifically Chrstian reading of Genesis, as the Devil as a singular embodiment of evil is not an idea that’s really present in the Torah). 
Kirari as God is much less obvious, but it’s still there if you are willing to dig a little.For starters, Japan, generally speaking, tends to view Christianity at best with curiosity and at worst with skepticism. There’s a tradition of portraying Chrstianity, or religions modeled after Christianity as the case may be, as evil or corrupt, primarily based on the rigid hierarchical structure of Christian Denominations (Catholicism in particular), which Shinto and Buddhism (the predominant religions of Japan, don’t really share. Kirari is at the head of Hyakkaou, her aquarium ,her Eden, with the student council as the enforcers of her will.
More specifically to Kirari though, Kirari seems to be riffing on the old theological and philosophical conundrum of the Problem of Evil. The Problem (or Question sometimes) of Evil is “if God is all good, all powerful, and all knowing, then why do bad things happen in the world?” The most common answer to this qandry is free will. God gave his creations free will and allows them to use it. 
This is the biggest and most important separation between Yumeko and Kirari. Yumeko pushes people to do things against their will for her own amusement. You can see this in her gamble with Mary where she boxes Mary into a corner but upping the stakes to a ridiculous level, or when she forced Manyuda to gamble with or, or with her second gamble with Yumemi when Yumemi was simply content to share the stage with Sumika but that wasn’t good enough for Yumeko. Yumeko is happy to be a nice, charming girl when you play along with her, but when you deny her her fun, she’ll drag you kicking and screaming back to the card table. 
In contrast, Kirari never makes people do things against their will and is a major advocate for people living according to their own desires. She sets up the games, explains the terms, but ultimately it’s the player’s choice if they choose to participate. We see this most clearly in the Tower of Doors arc. Kirari explains the terms of the gamble clearly and explicitly to Sayaka. She doesn’t ever withhold information, and she asks for Sayaka and Yumeko’s consent twice before starting the game, giving them both opportunities to back out if they didn’t want to continue. We see also in her conversation with Terano in Chapter 82 that she’s trying to push Terano to exercise her own free will instead of always prioritizing the needs of others over her own. 
Kirari gives people tools and watches what they do with them, while Yumeko pics up those tools and starts hitting everything she can with them. 
It is that distinction that I think Sayaka is calling out and how she can justify her attraction to and association with Kirari while viewing Yumeko with disdain. Kirari created something, a logical (if perverse) system that operates on cause and effect, input and output. Kirari doesn’t make people house pets. If you can pay your dues to the Student Council you never have to touch card or dice. And if you must gamble, Kirari isn’t forcing the student body to gamble more that they can afford and fall into debt. 
Yumeko in contrast is a force of destruction in the school. She upended the logical and orderly function of Hyakkaou and made one person a house pet and consigned another to a life plan for no other reason than her amusement. And that is arguably more monstrous than anything Kirari has done.
Akso, let me be abundantly clear: I AM NOT SAYING KIRARI AND YUMEKO ARE LITERALLY GOD AND THE DEVIL. Just that there is metaphor and allegory at play here.
140 notes · View notes
Text
AssClass Bedroom Headcanons: Part 2
Part 1 Here
Kataoka
Definitely has the neatest room.
Her room is very light-colored with a lot of white furniture because she loves how classy it looks.
Her floor has to be clear or else she’ll lose her mind.
Has pastel feminine bedspread and decor because she likes the frills and girly vibe.
Has lots of posters of her favorite swimmers and women she looks up to.
Even her books and school supplies on her desk are so organized.
Enjoys stepping onto her soft, warm fluffy rug in the mornings.
Tumblr media
Okajima
Has a comfy bed but honestly, this boy lives on the mini couch seating instead.
Like 99% of the time, he’s crouching there doing homework or camera stuff. Or also flipping through magazines.
Has a big window with nice curtains so he can control the lighting for picture-taking purposes.
He has the most boring ass covers lmao, it’s like a thin sheet that he sleeps under. His female friends roast him all the time for it.
Has a couple bookshelves filled with textbooks and photography equipment!
There’s a couple of plants but they were gifts from Sugaya.
Overall the vibes are nice and cozy. Slightly hermit vibes but it’s all good.
Tumblr media
Kayano
I’m sorry but this room is so gorgeous to me, I just had to give it to her.
So like she lives in an apartment as a 3-E student and she definitely would be able to afford a rlly nice one, with her money from acting.
The room has really lovely boho vibes, but it’s also rlly modern at the same time??
Has a very large window with a stunning view that she looks at often, in thought.
Keeps a couple books at her bedside, along with painkillers and manuscripts.
Tbh it’s somewhat neat because she can’t stand messiness. But it gets messy often because she has other things to focus on and she’s sad.
There’s a bunch of pudding wrappers all around on the floor.
Tumblr media
Hayami
Her room is a little basic by these standards tbh, but it’s super comfortable.
It’s fairly spacious since she practices dancing in there sometimes.
Has a lot of windows because she likes natural sunlight. And at night, she keeps them open slightly to enjoy the sounds of the night, like crickets, cars passing by, etc
Owns so many adorable cat plushies that she keeps in her bed.
I’d say her room is pretty neat, but during her time in 3-E, I can see Hayami throwing things around more often. Like she has other things to think about.
Her furniture is all so aesthetic looking and pretty. Like the vibes are very pretty in the room overall.
Tumblr media
Sugino
I’m so sorry y’all, but I feel like his bedroom would be plain af 😭
Like it’s Sugino lmao. I can’t see him really thinking about “aesthetic” or “decor” lol. BUT don’t fret, it’s still very charming in its own way!
It would be pretty small since in canon, his family lives in a certain type of public housing/apartments.
His bed frame would be the kind that’s very low to the ground. Which is nice so he can just flop onto there when he’s dead tired.
Has very thick black-out curtains to block any sunlight since the boy wants all the rest he can get.
Has a single desk for his PC and as a place to do schoolwork. Also where he can play some video games lol.
Would have a couple stuffed animals on his bed UwU.
Tumblr media
Yoshida
I’m getting very suave vibes for his bedroom tbh. Like out of all the guys, he’s the best at decorating.
Given that his family isn’t very big, I wanna say he’d have a decently-spaced room.
There’s super cool lighting in the room with the lights he hung up, and his lamp. Like the ambience is just 👌
Has pictures of his family and friends framed and sitting on his dresser. It’s so sweet.
Also has a stuffed teddy bear that he got when he was kids and playing with Hara.
Tbh he’s barely in his room. He’s usually either with the class, squad, or working on his motorcycles.
Has many books on physics, mechanics engineering, etc in a single bookshelf in his room.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Kimura
Idk, my first thought was that he’d have a small-ish room that’s packed with lots of stuff.
I feel like Kimura is the type of gremlin who would lowkey hoard things lmao. Like it would sit in his drawer for 4 years before he decides what to do.
But yeah. I can see him with small shelves filled with various different things. One of them has some indoor workout equipment.
He has a desk that’s constantly cluttered, no matter how often he clears it. It also has his computer.
The only reason his room is ever clean is because his mother has cleaned it. As soon as the 3-E girls find this out, they absolutely give him a lesson on tidiness.
Has some stuffed animals that he bought to try impress Kurahashi but he ended up loving them for real lmao.
Tumblr media
Ritsu
Ok so of course, Ritsu has probably made her own lil world and home digitally. But that means she’d also decorate/create her own bedroom!
I’m a big advocate for a Ritsu who always changes aesthetic but I think her bedroom is pretty easy to figure out.
First of all, it would be hella random lmao. Like the absolute weirdest items and decorations are just all around, on the floor, wall, etc lmaoooo.
THE BED HAS TO BE EXTREMELY COMFY WITH A CUTE SPREAD. This will be her main residing area when she binges K-Dramas and other shows she loves.
Also there’s a giant TV in the room lmao.
All of her books, games, and forms of entertainment are probably lying on the floor lolol.
Yeah it’s pretty messy. One of her classmates or teachers has to remind her to clean up.
Tumblr media
51 notes · View notes
bbhyeoliskooks · 3 years
Note
I lovveeee your work!!! I have read like everything lol! You’re a great writer, can I request a slow dancing scenario??? Thank you have a great day❤️❤️
˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩ 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ✩•̩̩͙* ˚
➶ TXT’s Reaction to Slow Dancing with You
•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩
Genre: literally 200 cups of fluff and maybe a pinch of angst if you squint
Warnings: Unedited, long cheesy stuff but other than that, none !
Song: Domino
(Ahhhh ><, thank you so much ~! This is so sweet of you to say and I hope you have a great day too 🥺💞 i’m so sorry that it took so long but I worked really hard on this one ++ got super carried away so you’d like it ! And since you didn’t request a member, I just decided to do all five in scenario format so you can have all princes hehe~~ anyway, i hope you like this ! ps i rlly popped off on soobin i swear 🗿🗿)
•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩
˚⁺‧. Yeonjun: ˚⁺‧.
Tumblr media
Yeonjun was the sweetest boyfriend one could ever ask for.
You wouldn’t have believed it back then that the boy you met at a store as a soon to be fellow classmate would be your boyfriend in the future, the one who gave you surprise kisses out of nowhere just because he wanted to. 
Well ever since you were children, you’d been best friends thanks to your parents chatting it up a storm whenever there was a party or if they met up randomly in the food aisles of Walmart. It was so boring that you would just rather choose to run away into the toy section to find some amusing things like slime or mud perfume, for example. You always hated waiting for them to finish talking about school and children by yourself as you searched for something fun to play with, and when you saw a boy your age with wide, sparkling eyes gazing at you as if you were a nice toy- that was the start of the roller coaster you could call of being Choi Yeonjun’s best friend.
Two years later after that incident, you could vividly remember the way he asked you to be his wife in the future with a cherry ring pop in hand. It was during recess and most of the other children never bothered with him during that time even if he was one of the popular kids. He was always talking about you, talking about how cool you were even if the two of you found some dirt and cherries from the tree to make mud potions with. Adorable five year old Yeonjun took your tiny hand into his and asked you to marry him due to the times you experienced together like running away from the teacher because she looked like a scary green monster or getting yelled at home together since you wandered off by yourselves. Now you couldn’t lie- the only reason you said yes was to eat it later when you got home. But years later, both of you never took it seriously, you had just assumed it was something silly children did in order to act like grownups. Because of this, you could say you truly grew up together and it was so fond to see how the two of you were in fate stuck together, hip by hip. 
High school was so much fun with him, and college was just the same. Besides studying, Yeonjun always made all of your moments in school happy no matter how sad you were. He’d walk and pick you up generously, even waiting after every single chore you volunteered to do for the teacher plus the clubs you attended to. That didn’t mean he kept whining about how much stuff you had to do. The complaining he had when you dragged him along to the library was quite the endearing bunch though, but you wouldn’t be able to give up any second you had of him. He was always right there, right beside your side where you always wanted him to stay. 
And as inevitable as it was, there were countless people whom you loved and lost, but every single time Yeonjun would thankfully be there for you, handing you tissues when you were a mess in bed, spiraling out of control thanks to what love did. Likewise it was the same for you and whenever Yeonjun had a problem with his significant other- plus they eventually broke off- you would always care for him and give him the love that they failed to give. You both figured that life would be fine together as long as you had each other... and maybe that was the push that finally brought you together.
Every single date and argument you had with him only pressed you closer and there was never a dull moment when the two of you were together. You were deeply and irrevocably in love with him and you knew down in your heart that he clearly felt the same way. Choi Yeonjun, although he wore you out whenever he asked for mint ice cream at 1am on a weekday, was the best boyfriend one could ever ask for. 
There was no doubt about it; who wouldn’t give up their entire life just to marry him? Maybe you would ask him or maybe he asked you but knowing him, he would definitely surprise you with the big news whenever you were ready. 
You opened the door after shopping by yourself for a few gifts for Yeonjun- after all, it was your four year anniversary. The front door creaked when you did so, and you winced at the sound which gave your presence away. Great, now the surprise was ruined... however, Yeonjun standing there with a grin on his face was more than good enough- perfect enough that you were left breathless in awe.
He was dressed up, adorned in a black suit that immediately reminded you of the time he first took you out on a date for a fancy dinner. It was perfect. A spotless black tie and everything, you knew he really did his best with the outfit so you would like it. His messy hair was the complete opposite of his tidied up suit, but you weren’t complaining. He still looked as dashing as ever and it made your heart stop in place when he shot you one of those sweet grins, filling up your entire chest with pure love.
You hastily dropped the gifts on the counter, frowning at the difference between the two of you. In a rush to get the presents after a long day of work, you were in your uniform- something that definitely didn’t suit your liking at all. Your anniversary celebration was supposed to be perfect, but here you were ruining it all with your tardiness and clothing. 
In response, Yeonjun’s eyes fell upon the many wrapped up gifts you had taken upon yourself to amaze him with, and you thought he was going to open them due to curiosity. Instead he just took your hand and pulled you to the living room where there was more space, his hand shuffling comfortably to wrap against your waist. 
“Let’s open them later, right now I just want to dance with the love of my life.”
The living room showed how much effort he put into the celebration. You admired the scenery, wondering how long it took for him to do it. With lit, rose scented candles, red petals of the same gorgeous flower sprinkled on the carpet, a soft instrumental of the song “Can’t Help Falling in Love” playing delicately through his speaker, you came to adore the boy in front of you so much more. His words said a lot about loving you already, but when you looked at his actions, it sized up to merely nothing.
“Jjunie, I look like a mess. Won’t you allow me to prepare first before we dance? You put all of this effort for me and I don’t even look good for it,” you muttered quietly, too quiet that you were sure he didn’t hear it. Oh but he did, and he was left feeling a bit somber about your confidence. In that moment he wished he was able to see how much he loved you regardless of your appearance. 
In doing so he pulled you closer, letting you lean comfortably on his shoulder as the two of you swayed gently back and forth. You melted into his embrace, holding him just as much as he did. The chuckle from his chest almost sounding mocking, and he in turn slowly shook his head for the answer. You sighed, knowing how stubborn he was about things like this but at least you gave a try.
Now Yeonjun was pulling you flush against his chest but still rocking you back and forth with him to the rhythm of the song. You hid your face into any part of him you were able to find, feeling embarrassed that he could still make you feel like a teenager in love. Every day was like this with him trying to make you turn into a burning tomato, but gosh did it still get all the heat explode in your face. 
His breath hitched against your ear, practically nipping on it delicately as if you were the most fragile thing on Earth. You shuddered when his voice conjured up a whisper.
“And what makes you think that? To me, you’re the most beautiful person ever and I wouldn’t think any less of it. You’re perfect to me- I’m in love with the prettiest baby there could ever be and I’m glad to call them mine.”
You bit your lip at his words, knowing fully well that it was genuine. 
“I know you tell me this every second with me, but how can I be so sure? Growing up with you was such a blessing and I’m happy as well to be able to receive it, but I’m sure you would fall for someone better.”
“Please, Y/N,” he muttered with sparkles in his eyes, “I only see you. I only want you. And I need only you in order to smile like I do every moment we’re together. I wouldn’t ever be able to get on with life without you, can’t you see? I’m nothing without you and you’re the only person who’s made me this happy.
“Everyday I’m more than grateful to be able to be with you and I know I don’t deserve such a beautiful person like you, inside and out. I still remember chasing you around the playground one Friday and pulling on your pigtails to the point where you cried. I never told you this but I swore to myself that I wouldn’t make someone I loved like you cry ever again like that. How silly was I to not know that the love of my life was in front of me at that moment?”
Saying this he leveled to the ground, bending down on one knee as you gasped in shock. What was he doing?
“I don’t ever want to lose you- I wouldn’t be able to afford it if I ever did. I just want to be with the one and only person who completes me. The one and only person who I can count on whenever I’m sick with the flu. The one and only person who takes me out to mint ice cream at 1am. The one and only person I could really call mine. The one and only person who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
His hand shuffled in his pocket before pulling a tiny box out and he opened it, showing a tiny sparkling, ring with a resplendent diamond on the top. Not a ring pop, but a real one. You covered your mouth with your shaking hands, feeling a tear fall against your cheek. His eyes were glistening just like the first time you met him and your eyes were the same as his, tearing up because of his sincere words that were nothing less of the truth. 
“So to the person whom I love more than anyone I’ll ever be able to and my true first love... will you marry me?”
He waited for your answer but you just jumped up and pressed your lips against his, showing how much you needed him in a passionate kiss. 
“Y-yes,” you gasped with all your breath, “I’ll marry you, Yeonjun.”
•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩
˚⁺‧. Soobin: ˚⁺‧.
Tumblr media
Soobin was absolutely intolerable.
If teasing you in class in front of everyone even if it was something he viewed as lighthearted, calling you weird in front of a person that you really liked and proceeded to tell the embarrassing stories of when you were both in freshman year, and even picking you up- quite literally- when you were getting a bit too close with another person, then that was it. 
You were so tired of the tricks he was pulling, laughing when you talked back with a frustrated tone or pushing him on the chest whenever it got too much. No matter how many times you told him to screw off after a bad or good day alike, he wouldn’t listen. He must’ve been deaf or something, that’s for sure- because the amount of times you caught him staring at you was just exhausting. 
And you could imagine it- almost every day at school was like this, and you certainly had enough. When will he ever learn to leave you alone? Just a day, you prayed with all your soul throughout the years of high school. Just a day. Please...? However, a life without Soobin was too much of wishful thinking and you knew it entirely deep down. But jeez, was it enough for you to go one day of class without him bothering you incessantly?
As you slid your outfit on for prom, you thought of the first time you met him.
It was a lie to say he was the most grotesque, disgusting person you’d ever laid eyes on. It was totally a lie. So much of a lie that God wouldn’t allow you into heaven for saying something so wrong. 
Yes, you had to admit it: Choi Soobin, your one and only enemy was just the cutest. 
Well at first... you thought he was adorable. Puffy, mochi cheeks that reminded you much of like a bunny’s munching on soft bread at the table in front of yours, you swore you could say back then that he was the one you were waiting for all your life in your teenage mind that is. He always shot you a kind smile that only radiated warmth and maybe if you weren’t too shy to say something, then the two of you could’ve been great friends or possibly something more. But as always you stayed next to your friends, wanting hopelessly that he would be the first person to make the move. That saying by itself was too much though. If he wasn’t such a jerk, then you were sure you would’ve already fallen in love with him by now. 
Events like this piled on you every week and you found yourself staring at him every lunch as he did the same. The eye contact felt like electricity whenever it happened. You were entirely entranced by the boy before you, gazing wishfully that you two would actually get to know each other. You were dying to know what secrets lied under those doe eyes and fresh handsome face, not even able to eat your lunch from how concentrated you were of him. Plus he wasn’t intimidating in the sense many people think, it’s just that you were afraid he was going to judge you when you obviously liked him that much. Every now and then you would catch yourself staring at him during the classes you had with him, and that already said a lot. 
Now here comes the worst part. The absolute worst part that wrecked your very important first impression of yourself to him. 
The story goes like this. You weren’t watching your step after finishing your lunch tray, thoughtlessly bringing it towards the garbage can right across the corner. And with that you weren’t looking who was in front of you, trying to throw his trash away in the opposite trash can on the other side of the room. Unfortunately, with him coming right at you and with you looking towards the ceiling at the ball somehow lodged under the pipes, you crashed into him food and all flying everywhere... and at the boy you tried so hard to talk to. 
Okay, so maybe you deserved all of this torment.
Soobin’s cheeks were so red when the tray made a clamorous sound of a clunk and all of the people in the room slowly realizing, started to laugh at the scene in the middle of the room. The glare he sent you gave you shivers down your back as you kept profusely apologizing, trying to wipe away the food on his uniform shirt to no avail. It was like hell to you, and you had never felt so embarrassed in front of a boy your whole entire life.
Soobin just furrowed his eyebrows at your shaky apologies, bending down to hand you your tray. Like a fool, your heart was pounding in your chest when he pushed the tray into your arms as you murmured yet another sorry. The napkins were useless. Obviously he wasn’t able to take it but out of all the chaos, you could hear him whisper something of “meet me in front of the school gate after school” into your ears. 
And you being the worst person you were after spilling rice all over him just had to do it out of guiltiness. For sure you didn’t know what you were getting into as soon as he opened his mouth, giving you a list of chores just for the fun of it. Getting a can of coke for him at the very top school floor because the vending machine there was somehow better than the other ones, buying him a new shirt even when he was just kidding about it, letting him do your hair for a day to go to school in was all you needed to do on the list, but the torment kept coming. He never let you live it down and at this point you were 
What you weren’t expecting however, was for Soobin to be right there at the dance floor, searching around for someone who wasn’t there. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him in his raven suit, looking as handsome as ever with his entrancing smirk and grinning eyes. You hushed it down, beating your chest down with a hand when you abruptly heard a familiar voice tug at your ears.
“Ah, Y/N! Thank gosh you look terrible today. I guess I have no choice to be your date today, 
Who else could it be?
“Oh, it’s you,” you deadpanned, rolling your eyes when that endearing chuckle rolled by. What were you expecting? It wasn’t as if he was going to stop making fun of you just because this was supposed to be one of the memorable nights in your entire life. You begged to differ though. Awkward and stiff, you hoped that you didn’t stick out like a sore toe in all this fun. Many other students looked like they were having the time of their life, but they were a bit... sweaty and stinky? Mostly the boys but you weren’t paying much attention when Soobin was right in front of you. 
“And me- being your date?!” You asked incredulously, looking as if he had committed a crime. “Why me when you literally have the attention of people all over the whole school?”
When you said this his cheeks turned red before he swatted the tint away. Looks like you had an effect on him. You were sure you hit a nerve because he was stuttering now, unable to look in your eyes as if avoiding them would do the trick. You wondered what he was thinking of before his eyes flashed with an unreadable mischievousness. 
“Hey, don’t you think we should dance? This opportunity comes only once in our life. And you don’t know what may happen,” he suggested, tugging gently on your hand. You hadn’t even realized he grabbed it but just the feeling of it made your ears turn hot. Anymore of this and you would faint by the end of the night.
In no time, Soobin led you to the dance floor where everyone else was dancing. The music changed little by little and it was finally the time that every couple was waiting for. Grant that you weren’t a couple, but maybe one time you’ll let it slide. He must’ve planned this- to ask you by now; the smirk said everything. You rolled your eyes and just admired the several colors of light reflecting off the disco ball, letting an ardent smile engrave your face. That is, until he spoke up,
“Oh wow, I can’t believe you said yes. I thought you’d slap me because I asked,” he teased, bringing you along the rhythm of his feet.
You scoffed at him, glaring down at the floor and at his polished shoes.
“Well, I should’ve. But I’m not that mean of a person and I wouldn’t want to embarrass you again.”
His hand slowly slid down to your waist almost as if he was teasing you while you just rocked awkwardly, feeling the breath in your lungs deplete little by little from how suddenly gentle he was. You were so caught off guard, almost paralyzed in your spot from how casual he did this, like he had done it every single day of his life.
“Listen, I know you hate me and all, but don’t be so stiff. You know I won’t hurt you,” he whispered gently, taking you into his arms. Your heart clenched at the forbidden feeling called ‘oh my gosh you’re turning into the naive freshman who didn’t at first know Soobin’s colors,’ but your burning throat didn’t allow yourself to say anything. He’d just make fun of you if you opened your mouth to say something.
Instead you swayed along with him, listening to the sweet music the person in charge put on. The voice sounded familiar, sweet and melodic, drifting through the room of many people who stopped to look at the person responsible. You, however, was completely blind to this, only focusing on the fact that you were dancing with your sworn enemy. 
Soobin’s hands danced to your waist and you shuddered, biting your lips when he suddenly spoke up.
“Isn’t it a nice song?”
Was he kidding? The more you listened to it, the more you fell in love with it. It sounded soft, so sincere that you were left wanting more. But you couldn’t put your finger on who was singing, although it sounded so damn familiar. 
You just nodded, looking at his chest more so than his face. You were too shy to look at him straight in the eyes, those eyes that seemed to smolder you every time you made eye contact with him. It reminded of you before the time you spilled that cursed rice on him, but you didn’t want to think about those memories anymore. It’d only remind you of how perfect everything could’ve turned out and that you wouldn’t have to deal with a boy like him.
Somehow Soobin pulled you even closer, letting his hand linger on your cheek where it stayed. He treated you with the utmost carefulness, cupping your cheek softly like you were the most fragile thing. You melted into it instantly, admiring his warmness and how he could act this way so as to not ruin your night.
“Believe it or not, I wrote this song for you... I asked the DJ to put it on today. It’s funny to me that you can’t even hear your own name in the song. I thought my own voice would sound familiar to you, you silly goose,” he choked out, letting a smile adorn his face when the realization caught onto you. 
Wait... 
That voice...
Was Soobin?!
And he wrote it for you?!
You instantly connected the dots together, looking at him straight in the eyes now. He was kidding. He had to be. But this...? You weren’t able to comprehend that it was written for you due to the fact you thought he hated you. He hated you, right? With everything he was doing, it was so obvious! You ruined his image in the beginning of the year and if you were put into his shoes, you would’ve hated yourself too. But... but why did the song have to be so loving with cheesy lyrics and the most important to mention, your name! 
All this tugging and pulling on your heart- you couldn’t take it! You couldn’t take the signals he kept sending you and then pushing away like you were nothing!
You stopped immediately, making him pause as well.
“Why are you acting like this? Do you genuinely enjoy seeing me frustrated like this? If you do, then it’s not funny. You’re just the worst,” You cried desperately, tearing up as the taste of frustration lingered on your tongue. Explaining yourself when you were mad at him was the worst-- especially when you couldn’t help sobbing along at how upset you were when he said unbelievable, sweet words.
You were about to start on your feet, away from Soobin- away from someone you tried so damn hard to hate after everything he’d done to you, pushing yourself away from his embrace when he grabbed your arm.
Looking at him you could see how genuine he was under those sparkling, doe eyes gazing at you intently with a somber frown. It had seemed like he acknowledged that fact already, but it only made matters worse. 
“Y/N, I just... look, it’s so hard for me to say but I... I really, really like you, alright? I’m so in love with you and everything you do for the time I get to see you whether that be in class or at lunch. The way you look, the way you act, the way you carry yourself when things get hard... gosh, don’t you know what you’ve done to my heart? Why did you have to steal it so quickly when we made eye contact for the first time?”
He started leaning in now, but you were standing too still at the confession. It was stupid, but the tears in your eyes were preventing you from saying anything. He must’ve been kidding- he had to be! He had to be lying... he just had to, right? But the heartfelt words being spilled from his lips proved that he was more in love with you than anyone else and he was showing it right now. 
And at the most vital moment- just before touching your lips with his- he stopped. Robbed you of whatever was going to happen. Took away what freshman and present you wanted most. He was just close enough that you could feel his breath fan across your lips, almost mocking you of how close you were going to get him. 
“Is this okay?” He breathed impatiently, almost glazing his lips against yours to the point where you were considering making the move yourself. 
“Yes, yes it is, stupid. And gosh you have to know how whipped I am for you too,” you shakily blurted out, letting him know how much you really liked him as well. Your hands almost covered your big fat mouth from saying much more, but what was done was unfortunately done. 
That was it. He knew it now. The whole truth you were dying to let him know. You finally said it and the prolonged silence between the two of you made you want to take back your words, but the way Soobin reacted the moment you said that-
it was enough for him to crash his lips against yours. 
•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩
˚⁺‧. Beomgyu: ˚⁺‧.
Tumblr media
“My dearest Y/N, what are you doing out here? Please come back with me to the castle; it isn’t safe to be here, you know that.”
Wait... when did he show up here?
And d-dearest? You had to be hearing things! 
Immediately you stopped hiding your sullen face in your gloved hands, slowly looking up to see the boy you were thinking of the entire time. In all of his dashing presence, you couldn’t help but notice there was a deep frown on his face. It was almost as if he was disappointed in you leaving, and the remorseful tone in his words made it crystal clear. But it didn’t make any sense at all... how could he be in the secret garden you always came to whenever things got rough? He wouldn’t have known anything about it, not unless he followed you here. 
You instantly got up from where you were sitting on the white angel bench, struggling to speak loudly enough for him to hear.
“P-Prince Beomgyu...? Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be there trying to find someone good enough for your betrothed? I thought you didn’t see me... leave...”
Ardently the prince suddenly smiled when you said this, shaking his head in amusement while you scrambled to find words that would fill the empty, comfortable atmosphere. He seemed to be teasing you with his adorable grin, eyes filling with luminous sparkles as the eye contact he kept making with you wouldn’t come to an end. It reminded you of the stars you always wanted to see from up close, the beautiful ones you had studied a few months before with the old books the queen had received years ago when she too was a princess. Yet, you hated how nervous he obviously made you and eventually looked away from his enamoured gaze that held nothing but love.
“I was looking for you, and I guess I looked right. Mind telling me why you’re here now, prince/ss?”
His soft voice warmed your ears all the more, its velvet low timbre echoing through the moonlight as he took a few steps towards you. He reached out his hand easily, waiting for you to take it but you just weren’t able to, not with what happened back there. The look on your face must’ve been priceless when you sensed he was coming closer and you instinctively took a few steps back, unfortunately tripping onto one of the rose bush vines and falling backwards.
Preparing to fall to your ultimate demise, you shut your eyes tightly- not caring if you died right then and there. It wouldn’t matter much anyway, right? What a pretty way to die, right there in front of whom you wanted to call your beloved. 
“Hey, be careful!”
In a split second, you felt someone’s arms wrap around your torso, their hands holding tightly around your waist so you wouldn’t fall. It felt way too familiar to you and you opened your eyes, gasping once you saw who saved you. 
Filling your ears again was the warm, tender voice of Prince Beomgyu who stared right down at you with concern in his expression. You looked up to him with wide eyes, wondering when he was going to level you to the ground as expected. However, it seemed like he wasn’t going to do just that yet; you could see the mischievousness in the smug smirk he was wearing. Then to keep you secure, he brought you closer towards him but didn’t dare to let go of his comfortable position over your waist. 
“You just proved my point,” he murmured, “Why did you come out here when you know it isn’t safe here in the first place, dear?”
The moonlight glistened across his face, showing radiantly his beauty as the heart caged in your chest performed several flips. It was always like this whenever you saw him... wherever, really, at the balls or whenever his family made a trip to Amaryllis Kingdom. Before shuffling away from him on your own accord your eyes flickered to his lips, exhausted to see how much you were entranced by him.
“Why did I come out here? And you’re calling me, your dear?! With all due respect, will you stop acting like you do not know?” 
You scoffed tiredly at his words, dusting yourself off as you pushed him away from you. The pent up frustration was clear in your voice and you almost felt guilty for him, if not for what he did back there. What was he expecting to say when you were angry solely at his actions? An okay? An agreement to go to the castle again when he was more interested in what your best friend had to say?
He shot an incredulous look at you, furrowing his eyebrows until they knit sourly together. “What are you saying? I’m flabbergasted here! Tell me what’s been going on so I can make it better!”
You shook your head back and forth rapidly, pursing your lips as he inched towards you through little steps.
“If you wanted to make it better, then you shouldn’t have avoided me like I was the plague! It’s been such a long time seeing you after the last ball, and I- I miss you terribly... I just don’t understand why you had to leave me to seek out my friend.” Your voice became as quiet as a mouse squeaking when you neared towards the end of your words, holding back at yelling at him when it really wasn’t his fault for finding someone better for his betrothed anyway. It didn’t mean it hurt any less still, knowing that you were so close to the chance of loving someone so sweet and caring like him. 
Beomgyu reached out to you tenderly and this time you took it silently without complaint, watching as he pressed a few kisses on the top of your hand. How could someone cause you to feel so many things in a minute, making your anger vanish the second he let those words fly out of his lips? 
“That wasn’t what I meant to do, prince/ss...”
In a crumbling motion, the rest of your resentment dissipated and dripped into the puddle right beside you. It slowly became into a sadness that even his smile wouldn’t be able to heal, showing you how you should’ve never messed with the entanglements and matters of love. It only indicated how much you were doomed to accept the fact that he would never be yours. 
“Enlighten me, please,” you begged now, ignoring how his blossom lips trembled upon hearing your despondent request. 
Instead he just took your hand into one of his, squeezing tightly so that you would listen. His lace sleeve brushed up against your arm as he went to cup your cheek, making you shudder along with the breeze that flew by the two of you. The warmness of his hand made you lean against it, sighing in relief at how long the desire to at least touch him was finally satisfied. 
“That never was my intention, Y/N. I apologize for making you feel like that, I truly am a fool not to notice. I was talking to your friend to know the things you wanted in an ideal prince. I thought I wouldn’t ever be good enough for you so that took way longer than expected... And I guess I’ve missed you for so long too that I was a bit nervous to face you, but I know that isn’t an excuse either. I’m so sorry for my actions tonight. I’ll make it up to you once we get back to the ballroom.” His thumb rubbed softly against your cheekbone as the desperation in his eyes caught onto you, letting you know how much sincerity there was in both his words and lips.
And yet, you couldn’t help but smile. He was always so caring like this, despite making everything out of humor, and maybe that’s why you fell in love with him.
“You should’ve asked me first, Gyu.” He cringed at the way you seemingly forget to mention his title before you continued again. “You know that you’re more than good enough for me. You’re simply... perfect.” You let the word fall off your lip and the prince again shot you another charming grin that had your heart pitter-pattering in your chest. 
“I know that now,” he teased, pulling you closer to his arms in an embrace. You wallowed in it for a few seconds, hugging him back as well. He laughed at this, letting his chin drop comfortably on the top of your head.
“Now come on, didn’t I say I was going to make it up to you? Let’s head back to the castle now, my love.” He started to lead you out of your secret garden and into the royal pathway, much to your despise. 
You weren’t sure what happened... It seemed like the happiness you just experienced crashed on your shoulders in waves, and you screamed unfortunately right in his ear.
“No!”
You dug your heels into the dirt, forbidding him to go any farther than what he was hoping. He quickly turned back to you after wincing from the abrupt pain, checking up on you worriedly after your outburst. 
“I don’t want to go back there,” you whispered, looking into his eyes this time. It felt like electricity to you- to know that he was right there listening to you, listening to your worries in order to let you know that he cared.
“Why?” He let his hand trail down to tuck a fallen hair strand behind your ear, and you felt all the more guilty for bothering him like this. It was enough for yelling at him needlessly earlier when it wasn’t what he meant to do, but now this? You caught sight of the mud on your ankles, knowing that the king and queen wouldn’t be too happy about it.
“Because... I hate it there. I know we’re royalty- you’re a prince and I’m a prince/ss, but I don’t want any other people looking at you. They don’t know who you’re going to choose as your betrothed yet- it just makes me anticipate whoever you’re going to pick!”
The expression on Prince Beomgyu’s face was absolutely endearing as he ruffled the top of your head, finding entertainment at your embarrassment. You cringed at how your crown almost fell off, trying to slide it back on as Beomgyu did it for you. 
“You’re so cute,” he chuckled, making all the heat in your face become prominent. This effect he had on you was always surprising, and you were sure he knew that from the confession you just made. You internally groaned at yourself. Why should you be shocked when he never misses the chance to say stuff like this?
“Then... how about we slow dance here instead? After all, I’m sure you can hear the blasting music from here,” he suggested, lifting a curious eyebrow for your response. 
True to his words, you could hear most of the strings from the castle below to your secret garden. You weren’t that far from the castle and both of you wanted to give it a chance, so why hold back now? You let him take not only your hand into the melody of “Clair de Lune,” but also your heart. 
He just smiled nervously at you, allowing you to wrap your arms behind his neck. A rush of nostalgia passed through you, reminding you of the time when you first danced together last year at the ballroom. All too familiar, his hands slid towards your waist and you giggled at the tickling sensation, wallowing at how close he was- enough to press a kiss to his button nose. It was easy to follow his swaying movements back and forth, but you were cautious this time not to trip into the thorny rose bushes. 
Beomgyu carefully twirled you beside him, admiring the way your attire followed you along as well.
“Wait, you do know one thing, right?”
You tilted to your head to the side. What he was taking about- you weren’t sure at all. But you let him continue, feeling his arms bring you closer to his chest.
“You do know that... I love you. So much and entirely so. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Prince/ss Y/N. I want to treat you well and make that beautiful smile of yours become a main part of our life together. I want to have children of our own with you and watch them grow up into princes and princesses or whatever they choose to be themselves. I want to love you for the rest of our life and announce you mine.”
He stopped dancing this time, leaning towards you with hooded eyes. You allow him to, choosing to shut your eyes as well. 
“Now tell me,” he whispered, laying a chaste soft kiss to your lips breathlessly, “will you be my queen when the time comes?”
You only nodded back, melting into the kiss as you took him into an affectionate embrace. 
“Yes, of course, my prince.”
Finally... at last, you found your Prince Charming.
•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩
˚⁺‧. Taehyun: ˚⁺‧.
Tumblr media
Needless to say, you were in love with Kang Taehyun. 
You were so in love with the way he made extra time for you in his schedule even if he was busy studying. You were so in love with how he would pick you up despite your protests because apparently he felt unsafe when you weren’t with him. You were so in love with the way he took care of you whenever things got rough and comforted you through the little things like mood swings and disappointment when the waitress forgot to bring out your favorite cake. You were so in love with how he never rushed you into the relationship, promising to wait for you until you were ready. You were so in love with how caring he was towards you; every single day you spent with him made you feel as if you were on top of the world. 
Even curled up in his arms now, you could feel the love you had for him swell in your chest as you looked at the mesmerizing him. He was holding you so gently, so sweetly, letting sweet words fall from his lips in order to make you smile. It obviously worked because you were nothing more than a giggling mess, watching him like a fool to get you to smile. Honestly, he wasn’t that much for public affection, but when it was the only two of you... you were allowed to say that he was clingy and wanted to hold on tight so that you’d never leave. 
The white blanket from beneath you fluttered a little in the breeze and you shivered from how chilly it was. You should’ve brought a coat earlier like Taehyun had said, but it was the summer so it couldn’t have been that cold! You wrapped yourself in your arms, trying to get up if not for the deathly hug of Taehyun. Instead it only encouraged him to hold tighter onto you all the more, squeezing your arms tight in his embrace.
“I told you to wear at least something warmer, Y/N. Now you’re clearly shivering and I don’t want to give up my coat just for you,” he teased and that caused you to hit him playfully on the arm. 
“I didn’t ask for a coat! I love the weather when it’s like this... especially when I’m with you,” you shut your eyes and stuck your tongue at him. The boy just pretended to gag and that made you laugh at his silly reaction.
The birds chirping from up above caught your attention, and you noticed how freely they seemed to be flapping their wings. As corny as it is, maybe one day you’d feel like flying with Taehyun. You weren’t sure how you were going to do it, but you want to make him the happiest he’s ever been in his whole entire life. Hmm... a nice moment of quiet would be good enough for you to think of a solution to that problem. 
Although the silence was nice after that moment, you wanted to do something fun. It’s true that you were already happy since you had the day to spend with him, but this could be the cherry on top before you had to go home. Earlier you went shopping for what he liked and paid for it while he wasn’t looking, despite all of his complaints and tired that definitely hurt your ears. Then the two of you went for ice cream and you teased him about mint flavor before deciding to get the cone. It gave you an idea to have a picnic date with him, minus the food since you already ate lunch together. But it was more than perfect to be with him, really! 
“Taehyun,” you whined, “I’m bored! Don’t you think we should do anything better for your birthday? 
“But it’s pretty,” he pouted, “I thought you liked doing weird stuff like this, you weirdo.”
Rolling your eyes, you picked at the blanket beneath you, kneading it between your fingers as you thought of what to do. “I do, but there has to be a much nicer thing to make your smile wider, you weirdo.”
He let out a huff of amusement, nodding his head along to your idea. “Then what do you think will do that?”
You snickered at his mocking words, swatting his arm away from you so you could get up. He let a grunt of refusal as he let go before you took his hand into yours. He got up soon after with a pearly smile you wouldn’t ever be able to erase from mind. Something like that every day would certainly boost your serotonin if you had to look at it 24/7.
“Hmm... how about we dance?” You shyly suggested, watching his face morph into a sincere smile. It was cheesy, you knew that, but you were hoping Taehyun would at least say yes considering it was his birthday and you wanted him to have fun instead of just looking out into the blue horizon. Not that you were complaining about that though.
“Dance?” He couldn’t help but laugh teasingly at your request, like you had spoken in a language he couldn’t understand. “I know you’re cheesy and all, but dance?! That’s way too-” he gasped when you took him by the hand and started to tug him into a round of slow dancing.
Thankfully you had already set on some light music going on earlier when you had arrived, and it played loud enough so only the two of you could hear it. The one that you heard currently- was it “Sakura Kiss” but the strings version? You recognized it as you watched Taehyun pretend to cringe when you wrapped your arms around him. 
“You’re really weird, I have no clue why I even agreed to do this in the first place.” He stepped towards the back and you were careful not to step on his feet accidentally. Although, that would be pretty funny- not that you’re admitting it!
You just giggled at his words, and he slid his hands to your waist. It felt like sparks to you, pure electricity coursing through your veins the moment he pulled you closer to him. Actually, he was debating whether or not he should start to tickle you, but it would just ruin the moment. Little did you know that he actually wanted to go along with it, guiding you through the music so that you wouldn’t be too stiff when dancing with him.
“But you’re in love with this weirdo, huh?” He wouldn’t answer this one, you were sure. He’d say something about how corny it was and how you could’ve said anything else but that. 
Instead he let one hand come away from your waist before slipping into one of yours.
“Yes, I absolutely am.”
Not only was Taehyun’s wish of being happy on that day came true, but he also got to experience really flying with you even when it wasn’t possible. 
•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩
˚⁺‧. Kai: ˚⁺‧.
Tumblr media
“What are you up to on a late night?”
Well, that’s what you were going to ask your best friend Kai until he so rudely crashed into your house at 1am through the kitchen window despite all of your whines not to do that since he could hurt himself and even worse- break the window itself. You shouldn’t have been surprised at this point when he peeked his head through the door of your room, but how could you not be when there wasn’t any racket downstairs as a sign he was making his grand appearance? And don’t get started on how the door just randomly creaked loudly, giving you a major heart attack that a thief entered your house! 
All of your grumbling and rambling about how he should just go home and rest in his very comfy bed that you somehow accidentally slept in before wasn’t enough for him to leave and he decided to join you in your journey of rewatching Cinderella. You were pleased to have a partner who could make you laugh along the whole experience, but you weren’t sure what he was doing up so late. As it was mentioned above the time just reached 1am and once you were done with this movie, it’d probably be closer to three. Not to mention that it wasn’t safe to come out of his house during the night even if he lived a few houses away.
“Kai, what are you doing here?! Don’t you know how unsafe it is to just randomly pop in to my house at what gosh knows in the morning?” You threw one of the pillows you were laying on towards him, purposely knowing that it was his favorite whenever he came by. Obviously you weren’t going to say you cuddled it to sleep when you missed the boy who didn’t get the chances to visit you, and hopefully he wouldn’t notice how worn down it already was after a few months of use.
Kai just jumped into bed beside you, reaching out a hand to ruffle your hair. 
“Ooh, looks like someone is worried for me~ don’t worry, I brought my favorite plushy to protect me just in case,” he winked at you but you ignored it, focusing on getting the movie on the TV screen instead.
“At least tell me a good reason. I might forgive you this once but it doesn’t mean I condone your actions.” Every time you said this, you forgave him when you really shouldn’t have. It only encouraged him to come all the more, and you knew that through and through. But still! He should really know how worried you get whenever he spontaneously plans his visits to see you! 
Kai just sighed, and you could imagine the disappointed pout on his face. Stealing another glance at him, you weren’t shocked to find out he was doing the exact same thing like you expected. After all, you knew Kai for a really long time not to notice these adorable little habits about him.
“I’m just bored. And Tobin really wanted to see you this time!” He proudly showed the bunny plushy in front of you, and it made you smile a little bit before quickly wiping the effect off. 
“Okay, fine,” you groaned, beckoning him to come cuddle up against you like he always did, “you can stay as long as you like but next time if you aren’t careful, I’m saying no.”
He gladly took the offer, clearly staying in agreement to your words as he snuggled beside you to wait for the movie to finally initiate.
“Ah, thank you, Y/N! I knew I could count on you to be up this late!”
Not even ten minutes passed by since he supposedly broke in like you called it, and heavy rain started to crash down onto the roof. It was nice for moods like this and the white noise of raindrops always managed to calm you down as well, but you were worried for when Kai wanted to go home. How would he get to his house without being soaked? It’d definitely create a wet mess. Well that is... unless he wanted to- no, you shouldn’t get ideas like this, assuming he’s uncomfortable with it! 
But there really was no loss in trying, right? You braced yourself for the hard rejection you knew that was coming. 
“You know,” you bashfully offered, throwing him another fluffy pillow from across the bed so he could get more cozy, “you don’t have to walk out in the rain like that once the movie is done. It’s raining cats and dogs out there. You can always just stay... with me.” You absolutely hated how your voice shriveled up to the end, showing how embarrassed you were to even ask him in the first place. 
He caught it easily, holding it tight to his chest soon after. “You’re acting like I wasn’t going to do that. Why not spend a night with my favorite person in the whole world? Let’s have a sleepover, Y/N~!”
Didn’t he know what he was doing?! And oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, you couldn’t believe it- he actually said yes! But of course, with a few pitter-patter comments here and there. 
What were you thinking? You felt all the hot blood rush to your face and you hid it with another pillow close by. Hoping he would’t hear anything, you just muttered how embarrassed you were to yourself but boy oh boy, he caught it all and grinned in endearment at how cute you were. You wouldn’t be able to see that smile on his face anyway, unfortunately not with the pillow you hid yourself with. 
...
You had been so tangled in the story that you didn’t realize Kai was more focused on you compared to the movie. He would look up to the screen sometimes, however he couldn’t help but look back at you more than the film for some reason. It didn’t mean you didn’t check up on him from time to time to make sure he was feeling completely comfortable. You knew fully well that he was staring at you but you decided to ignore it. At first you thought he was just spacing out, but it was way too coincidental to be true. 
The scene finally got to the part where Cinderella was dancing with Prince Charming, glass slippers and all. As a kid you were always fond of this moment because one day you wanted someone in your life like that. Whoever it may be, as long as they love you for who you really are then you’d be happy to call them your significant other. And yet, every single time you would always be faced with Kai in your mind whenever you dreamed of this. 
“What are you staring at me for?”
“Oh, nothing,” he taunted with a mocking voice before taking your hand into his. Then without a warning, he tugged you up from beside him, pulling you in front of the screen. You laughed at how sudden it was, and cautioned at him a little bit. 
“Kai! Gosh, at least give me a warning before you pull me up,” you whisper-shouted, being careful enough not to create too much noise. Luckily the rain was able to replace the sound of both of you getting up from the creaky bed, serving as another distraction for your parents not to know your best friend was in the room.
As you watched him in confusion, he made no sound grabbing your hands so they’d wrap just below his neck. You asked him what he was doing quietly a few times when he simply shut you down like that, his hands naturally trailing down to your waist as if he was planning something.
When he was done with the finishing dances of preparing the both of you, he noticed you were distracted in Cinderella and the prince dancing and leaned your attention towards him again by grasping your cheek in his right hand. 
“Come on,” he shot you another charming grin that sent your heart into a mayhem, “let’s slow dance.”
You gulped instinctively, nodding your head slowly. 
“O-oh, sure...”
You couldn’t allow yourself to say no. How could you say no when your heart was screaming yes and with him so close to you than he’d ever been? You weren’t the best at slow dancing when you had to cooperate with a partner, but he made it quite easy for you. Although, it wasn’t a big surprise when he could do anything he put his mind to. Kai was simply an excellent musician- he got the hang of the beat so you just followed his lead, letting him sway gently to the sweet song. 
The moment was magnificently magical, enough so that you wanted it to last forever. Eye contact was a bit much for you- especially when you were starting to have forbidden feelings for a friend who most likely doesn’t reciprocate the same ones- but somehow, you found the strength to keep looking at him without quivering up into a nervous ball. As the song played, you memorized every detail of his face as you could, counting his eyelashes to sketching how perfect his nose was in your mind. You were so lucky to have him in your life... you really couldn’t imagine a day without knowing he was there for you.
The rest of the song finished, but you knew he didn’t want to let go just yet. No other words were spoken but with his eyes that followed yours, you were able to tell how much you meant to him. More than a friend or just a friend? You weren’t sure at all, but you knew one thing. With the way he gazed at you- and perhaps you were deluding yourself when you thought this- it was clear to see that his stare was fill of enamor and love towards you and you only. He could’ve been watching the rain fall from outside and race against the windows, yet it seemed like he never wanted to look away either.
Your heart swelled in joy with this, but... at the same time...
When were you ever going to tell him these growing feelings? When were you going to let him know before you inevitably fell in love even deeper? How were you going to do it with all these insecurities of whether he likes you back or not weighing down? There were too many questions for you to really take. In all of this thinking while beside him- you couldn’t be for sure, however you weren’t going to rush yourself because there was still an eternity to spend with him right by your side like he promised. 
•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩
Posted: 4/8/21- 2:15am 
(OKAY SO LIKE IK I WROTE 9k WORDS FOR THIS SO?? IM SO SORRY IF YOU GOT BORED 😭😭 I ACCIDENTALLY USED ALL THE BIG BRAIN WRITING FOR THIS REQUEST OMG 🧍🧍 also peep me posting this at 2am when i said i was supposed to sleep at 11pm)
Tags:
88 notes · View notes
byulsgrease · 3 years
Note
i rlly liked your "what are the chances" fic, and i just want to request something similar with the reader being a "hero" typa concept! Could you write a idol!hwasa x reader, and in there hwasa gets swarmed by paps and starts to struggle or panic, but the reader (who hwasa knows) just happens to be there at right place/time and takes care of her during and afterwards at the comfort of hwasas home?
o thanks anon! what are the chances truly came out of nowhere so it's a relief you enjoyed 🥺 so sorry this took me a while, my brain got a bit stuck at first on where to go with this one but I hope you like it
Tumblr media
it's been a long time
(hwasa x gender neutral reader, ~1.3k words)
cw: food mention (are we surprised?)
a/n: the more I write the more I realize how much my own experiences influence my ideas? obviously it makes sense but just interesting that one could probably figure out a good bit about me if they knew where to look
A soft rain falls from the blanket of gray clouds above your head as you exit the 7-11 with a bottle of chilsung cider and a shiny plastic-wrapped inkigayo sandwich, your default lazy day dinner. The hood on your windbreaker comes back up to shield your hair from the rain. You're about to turn on your heel to head home but a swarm of people out of the corner of your eye turns your head toward it.
Squinting, it dawns on you: Oh... it's her.
Ahn Hyejin - or Hwasa, as most of your friends now called her. Weird to see her here, you knew her essentially a lifetime ago. Hyejin and Wheein in middle school were some of the nicest classmates around, despite the fact that they were picked on a ton. But you weren't super popular either so you usually found solace in talking to them, even if just in passing. Sometimes regret crosses your mind during their promotions. Could you have stood up for them back then? But they seem to be doing well, and the past is the past. Mamamoo's doing great. You long ago gave up pursuing music professionally after realizing you didn't have the means, so a hobby it became, but it meant a lot to see how far your fellow classmates had come to make their dreams come true.
The 10 minutes of your own internal existential reckoning really only takes about 10 seconds. You tread closer to the swarm as an endless number of camera shutters simultaneously create a loud flurry of clicks. A cacophony of voices renders you unable to make out whatever they're badgering her about, but she looks visibly agitated. Closer now, she wears that same expression she used to - when people in middle school endlessly mocked her for her body or not looking "Korean enough". That feeling of a lump in your throat where your words get caught and you can't tell whether a cry or yell will emerge when your mouth opens. Maybe she's changed less than I thought. Well, time to stand up to all those people I never did back when we were kids.
"Hyejin!" you whisper-yell. By some miracle your voice cuts through the noise as her head whips around to face you. You falter a bit when confusion leaps to her face - her not remembering your face didn't exactly cross your mind before approaching her. But desperation wins out as she takes your outstretched hand, mind racing, and bolts out from the crowd of cameras. There'll probably be a Dispatch article about this later.
With no bulky camera gear or bag to speak of, losing the crowd proves to be surprisingly easy. Slowing to a stop, you pause to take down your hood and unzip your jacket, an uncomfortable sweat forming on your back from the exertion. I should really start exercising again.
"Sorry," you nearly pant, a bit winded. "I'm not even sure if you remember wh—"
"Wait, I do!" she exclaims incredulously. "Holy crap, how long has it been?"
"A looong time. Sorry for sneaking up on you like that, but you wanted to get out of there, right?"
The hand not holding her purse runs itself through her hair as she sighs. "Yeah, absolutely. People think artists are perfect and will answer any call of the press on a whim, so this happens a lot more than I'd like it to. It’s just one of those days."
“I’m sure,” You're shifting weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to do or say. It's a stretch to even claim to know her. "Um... were you headed somewhere? I could walk you, if you want— but no pressure!" Please. Get a hold of yourself.
The corner of her mouth turns up and she turns the proposition over in her head for maybe 2 seconds. "Sure, you can walk me home. I'll be more ready to run this time if they come back for us."
"This'll probably turn into a bigger story than whatever they were pestering you about, won't it...?" your tone apologetic.
She waves you off reassuringly. "Yeah, but that's tomorrow. Point is you got me out of there today, on a day where I didn't want to do... all that," her hand waving in the general direction from which you came. "Let's go."
~~~~~
It took everything in you to not say anything weird about how her place in real life looked so much like it did on I Live Alone. Can't be out here admitting I'm a fan.
She dropped her bag in the doorway and took a seat on the floor in front of her tv, running her hands through hair. Hesitating to follow her lead, a little overwhelmed from taking in her space, you ask, "Did you want some water or a snack?"
"Oh shit, sorry. Terrible host here, I should be asking you that."
The sandwich plastic crinkles in your fidgety hands, realizing you're still clutching it alongside your now luke-warm bottle of chilsung. "Wanna split these? Chilsung might need some ice, though." Your hands raise up the convenience store fare. "And don't worry about it, seriously. Relax - it's not every day you have someone to talk to after an ordeal like that."
"I have my members."
"Right, and where are they right now?" you posed, butt finally finding the floor in a spot next to her as she gets up to grab ice.
"Okay, okay, fine. What've you been up to since middle school anyway? It's obvious that you know what I've been up to - you could've caught some flies in your mouth with how low your jaw dropped when you walked in here," a small chuckle leaving her as you shielded your eyes. Caught.
"Mm, not much. Moved back in with my parents after getting a business degree and I have a typical 9 - 5. Or, well. 9 to 'whenever work is over', so basically never."
Sitting back down beside you and twisting the cap off the chilsung, she tilted her head at you. "Didn't you say back in the day you wanted to be a cellist?"
You sigh, resignation palpable. "Yeah, stupid kid dreams. There was no way I could afford to get through formal training and cross my fingers hoping for someone to give me a chance. You're financially in the red for essentially that entire time - I couldn't do that to my parents. But I'm really glad you and Wheein got to where you wanted to be," your tone brightening before taking a sip,
She smiles close-lipped, pensive. "Middle school feels like forever ago. Couldn't do it without her, that's for sure."
"It was meant to be, that she didn't debut with Moonbyul and all that," not caring anymore about exposing yourself after getting called out. "We've all got our own paths - it's inspiring to see you two walking down it together."
"I think you know full well that it's not quite that simple," she countered, her gaze coming to rest on you. "But, who says you have to stay on the path? RBW has an in-house string department, you know." Your head whips around to stare at her incredulously, blinking. What did she just say?
"You don't mean... um... I only play cello for fun now," excuses pour out but your mind soars at the hypothetical. You could leave business behind and at least be doing something you'd legitimately never tire of, even if the awful work-life balance remains.
She waves you off again. "Oh please. One thing I for sure remember is that you were always too modest for your own good. But I'm serious, if it's what you want." The ballooning feeling in your chest gives way to silent tears of joy streaming down your face.
You blubber, "Yes. Absolutely. Even if it doesn't—" She cuts you off with a hand on your shoulder and a dead-on look in the eye, her other hand already clutching her phone to make the call.
"It will."
37 notes · View notes
werebutch · 3 years
Note
For me, everything really got so much better when I turned 18. There's a bit of an adjustment for the first little bit as you start to learn what it means to be an adult, but it honestly brings good things.
Advice time!
1. Get some kind of storage, and keep all your important documents there. Any tax receipts, passports, proof of employment, ect. When you move, it rules to just open a drawer and have all that stuff ready to go. Obviously also make this a secure storage, if you can
2. Cooking! Even the higher-end dishes can be cheaper than eating out almost anywhere. Provided you don't live in a food desert - those are worth moving to a different city to get out of. If you're completely unknowledgable, refried bean burritos, steamed vegetables, stir fries, and most breakfast food are good ones for people just starting out. I've been cooking since forever, and anyone is always welcome to message and ask for recipies, fyi! Also while you're learning stuff, fixing clothes is a great one to pick up if you have the change. In general, how to fix things is always worth learning if you can.
3. Don't feel like you need to move out just because you're old enough to do it! If your parents are people you like (or don't really mind at least), consider staying with them and focusing on building up finances. If you need to get out, see if you can join a rental group, especially queer-focused ones. It's always cheaper to rent with roommates. Keep in mind that living with other people is a skill that takes time to develop and there will be road bumps.
4. There's a lot of new things to do & try! Hell yes. Don't feel like you need to do any of them, just because they're easier/legal to do. Especially for drugs (including alcohol) and sex (especially kink / risky sex). If you do want to try a new thing, start with a smaller amount. Doing something too much or too intensely can really be a rough experience, and doing something in a small amount will let you get a good feel for it, while keeping your head clear enough to understand what's happening.
5. Fuck rules and manners. Learn how to say no to people, its the best skill to have. Also, learn how to say yes - specifically when you're offered help, or free things, or any act of kindness. If someone is offering something, it's often because they'd legitimately be happy to see you have it.
6. Go thrifting! Buying high quality used clothes, instead of fast fashion, will have a much longer life span. Go to shitty little music shows! Go to dingy diners at 2am! But also take care and joy in taking care of yourself. Self maintenance will seriously make everything else much easier, and getting into the habit early will really help.
7. Whenever you move out, you'll be in a totally different environment, and that's really spooky. The first 3 or 4 nights will likely feel scary, and like you made the wrong decision. Big changes are hard, and leaving the consistency of your home is intimidating. Normally, I always say trust your gut instincts, but this one is usually wrong. Humans are built to survive, and your brain doesn't trust new things. Once you've lived there a week or so, you'll love the place. If you still feel like you shouldn't be living somewhere after 3 weeks or so, you should start looking, if you can afford it. Keeping a good and healing space is serious a #1 priority.
8. You may have been lied to about credit cards. My parents, teachers, and a bunch of people basically hammered home "don't get a credit card or you'll lose all your money". I didn't get one for so long, and I was honestly so proud. But, it was a struggle! Occasionally a place will only accept credit, and it'll suck to be locked out of them. Also, you won't build good credit that way. My recommendation is to get a card that doesn't have any fees (doesn't matter about points or whatever) and just use it for 1 or 2 of your purchases a month, that you know you can easily afford, they really don't need to be big. Pay it off immediately. If you end up taking out any loans, pay them on time! Most people recommend paying the maximum amount off of a loan each month, but as a new adult, it'll be ok if you want to hold onto more of your money, and only pay the minimum each month. That's totally OK, just do it on time! As long as you do this, you'll have really good credit.
9. Own it! You're in control now. For me, the simple little thing of picking out my own hand soaps is something I treasure. It's your life, and it looks like it now! You can get posters, fairy lights, plants, anything! Give your space some personality, make it feel like yours! Note- posters feel a little dingy after a while, even new ones. If you have some you like especially, buy some frames for them, or get them as tapestries. Both feel way fancier and more adult. But posters are cheaper, so you can get way more of them.
10. Once you're out of school, it'll be a bit harder to make friends. The best way to do it is to go to social events, like board game nights, hobby groups, ect. Anything with a shared interest means you'll likely find some people you vibe with. Don't feel like you need a ton of friends! Just a few is fine, you want to make sure they're people you truly like being around, that are good friends to have.
11. Oh shit also get vaccinated before you do any of that social stuff. Also,,, maybe look into health insurance. It's a seriously good investment, (more if you're in USA, in Canada it's not needed quite as much. Dental, on the other hand, is definetly worth getting). If you're on your parents insurance, stay on that for as long as possible! It's free baby!
12. Don't try to become what you thing an adult "needs" to be. It's your life, being an adult can be whatever you want it to look like! And, honestly, the first step of being an adult just looks a lot like being a teenager, just with a bit of change every year or so. Take it slow, and put yourself first.
13. That's it! There's probably a bit more I could put on here, but this feels good. I'm open to questions! If this ends up getting posted, this includes other people too! It's a scary process, but it can be a really good thing, and it has been for so many people I know. Good luck, be safe, have fun!
this is super helpful once I start wanting to move out, but I’m not quite there yet :) thank u tho this rlly helps me prepare lol
19 notes · View notes