#and i don't usually check for that because i don't make that mistake. i simply do not

[stinkyme]

Hello! This is a request/idea made by a lovely anon, I hope you like it and enjoy it! :) <3

CW/TW: NSFW, fem!reader, established relationship, reader initiates sex, virgin!reader, first time, soft & mostly rough Dazai, vaginal fingering, a bit of spit for additional lube, praise, degrading, two orgasms for a reader (one purely vaginal), dacryphilia, creampie, mentions of aftercare, if I forgot anything please let me know! :)

It goes without saying, but no one should be rough with you during your first time. If they don't stop even if you are telling them and in actual pain - punch the shit out of them. Stinging sensation is normal, even managable pain, but someone being rough? No. If someone is slow and you are still in a lot of pain - you are tense which means you need more foreplay and reassurance. Additional lube is always good! Also, keep in mind that a first couple of times may be uncomfortable. You won't lose your virginity that day and immediately be able to go wild. It takes a couple of times and different poses. If, even after couple of times, you are still in pain regardless of foreplay and lube - you may want to check if you have a condition. If you don't, it could be that their cock is a bit too big which just means they need to accomodate their thrusts so they don't reach your guts, lol

It's different for everyone, but remember to be safe, use condom & lube, if you feel uncomfortable and too tense or in too much pain - it's okay to stop. If someone is denying the pain you feel or being a dirty cunt - punch them really hard. (aim for the nose) Also, for a lot of people - riding the first time is more comfortable because they are in control of everything. Backshots are usually uncomfortable/too painful for a lot of people. Missionary is also good! Whatever works for you - go for it :) Aftercare is also important! Keep that in mind as well, you don't want to make someone feel used or shitty. If you are the virgin in question, don't be afraid to initiate aftercare if needed! If someone is a dick about it - punch them! :3 (or call me and I will) Aftercare is ok to have even if you didn't indulge in any BDSM activities :) aaand! Bleeding differs for everyone - some bleed more, some less, some not at all. As long as it's not excessive or to the point where bleeding isn't stopping - you will be okay! In cases mentioned - immediately stop, wait for a bit to see if bleeding will subside because there is a possible tear which may be able to heal on its own, depending on a size. To be safe, go to the doctor or ER if necessary. (never ever continue having sex after a tear, even with a condom on, it can lead to infections) Also, a lot of afabs/females lose hymen long before they indulge in sexual activities and bleeding isn't a sole indicator whether someone is a virgin or not. Don't shame people who are virgins, nor those who aren't and you shouldn't have sex w people who do this. Be safe and have fun :3

So, this whole oneshot is purely fictional and obviously innaccurate for most people

I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)

The first time || Dazai Osamu x Reader

Dazai and you have been together for a while now. Your relationship was, surprisingly to some, stable and very loving. However, you haven't slept with each other yet, which was okay by both of you so far. This didn't mean there were no heavy makeout sessions, teasing neck kisses and bites, grabbing and humping or lack of desire. It just meant that it simply never went further. Partly because you weren't ready at the time and partly because of your busy work schedule.

You wanted to change that and you didn't feel too scared because you knew Dazai was experienced. Plus, he treated you with care and patience, so you felt safe and comfortable with him.

So, today, you decided to take things in your own hands as you were feeling ready...and quite needy to experience this with him. The two of you had a day off today, so this was perfect timing as well.

He finally arrives at your apartment and you are quick to jump on him, planting endless kisses all over his face. You feel a slight mixture of nervousness and excitement. But those feelings subside quickly by comfort as Dazai's hands support you by holding you under your thighs, a soft smile on his face.

"We saw each other yesterday, you clingy creature. Don't tell me you behave like this because you want something from me." he lets out a soft chuckle and you smile. Dazai knew you had something up your sleeve and you were hoping he would because that makes it easier.

"Maybe." you give him a little grin before you place more kisses over his face.

"You are hurting my feelings now." he says in an unserious voice with a hint of fake sadness. He carries you to your bedroom as you twirl his hair around your finger a little bit.

"Why did you assume it's something bad?" you tilt your head as he gently seats you on your bed, his hands letting go of your thighs.

"Is it not?" he gives you an intrigued gaze as he takes off his coat and vest, putting them both over a chair. You slowly stand up and his expression switches to slight surprise as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a passionate kiss.

Your hands move down his bandaged neck, fingers sliding between the small cracks they could find. His hands wrap around your waist, pulling you closer as his tongue brushes over your bottom lip. He begins gently sucking on it as you slowly unwrap his bandages, feeling confident.

He lets out a soft whimper, teeth holding your bottom lip for a moment before he deepens the kiss, his tongue finding yours quickly. Your kiss becomes lickerish, deep and sensual, his hands gripping your waist tightly. You drop the bandages on the floor behind him and hesitantly move your hands down, sneaking your fingers underneath his shirt. You hesitantly lift it up as the kiss becomes breathless, making Dazai pull away for a moment as he gives you a sly gaze.

"You are more bold than usual." he gives you a little smile, voice soft, but teasing. His remark makes you shy as you keep his shirt in place, revealing only up to his bellybutton.

"Shying away already? I didn't tell you to stop." he whispers in a silky tone, observing your reactions. You lean in, wanting to kiss him in order to help your overwhelming thoughts, however, he leans away, giving you a sly smile. He gently puts his hands on yours and begins lifting his shirt up with you. He pulls it over his head, revealing his slim, but fairly masculine figure to you. He lets go of your hands, his gaze having a lingering mixture of teasingness and trickiness.

"Just like this! Easy, right?" he says in a more regular tone as you drop his shirt on the ground, eyes shamelessly lusting over his figure.

"You've taken a shirt off before, right? How come you are so shy with me, hm?" his tone is silky and teasing. He tilts his head, leaning closer to your face as his gaze traces over it. You lock eyes with him, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Well...uh, I did. Mine." you nod, hoping he would take the hint.

"What? You mean others have been letting you take your clothes off all by yourself? Unacceptable!" he says with a hint of drama in his voice as he snakes his fingers beneath your shirt, slowly rolling it up. You feel a wave of embarrassment and put your hands on his wrists, stopping him from moving further up before you tell him.

"No...that's not what I mean. What I mean is...there are no others." your voice is steady as you give him a meaningful look. Dazai blinks a couple of times, processing the information.

"You mean...you are a-?" he stops talking, unsure if he got the right hint.

"A virgin. Yes." you nod, voice steady and calm, even though you were a bit scared would this change something. You let go of his wrists, waiting for a reaction. Dazai keeps his gaze on you, seemingly dumb-founded at the moment. Quickly, his expression changes to an intrigued one, his fingers resting underneath your shirt.

His fingertips delicately brush over your skin as he leans closer, lips shadowing over your neck, not touching it yet. He leans closer to your ear, letting his lips touch it and moving over the thin, shell-like part of it in slow, up and down motion. The feather-like sensation sends shivers down your spine, furthering even more as he gives the sensitive skin a kitten lick.

"So, I would be your first?" he whispers, voice smooth and silky, but with hints of excitement.

"Yeah...are you mad?" you whisper back, a bit shy.

"Mad? God no, I am quite happy and honored, to be honest." he continues whispering, letting out a small whine in your ear as he takes your hand and puts it on his hard, still clothed cock. He makes you grasp it and you gasp in slightly.

"Can you feel how happy I am, pretty one?" he moves lower, finally placing soft kisses over your neck, going slow and making sure you feel each one. You feel a wave of heat spread through your thighs and lower tummy as he uses the tip of his tongue to trail over your sweet flesh, going from the base of your neck all the way up behind your ear. You let out a soft whimper as he slides his other hand between your shorts and panties, slowly pulling it down.

You can feel his cock throb inside your palm as his tongue moves over the middle of your neck and to the other side. He leaves small, wet kisses all over your skin, before he settles for a bit, sucking on a small portion of your flesh. Your body becomes a bit shaky, a soft whimper escaping your throat as his sucking becomes greedier, more intense. He lets your shorts drop down on the floor and faintly brushes over your waistline with his fingertips.

He slowly moves forward, making you move as well until you hit the edge of the bed. His hand moves on your lower back, caressing it gently before it slides further down, squeezing your ass. Dazai lets go of your skin, kissing the portion he was sucking on just a moment ago. He plants soft kisses all over the side of your jaw, finally letting go of your hand and moving it between your panties and skin. He uses both of his thumbs, sliding them down your hips and thighs as he moves lower as well. He lets your panties drop on the floor and slowly pulls up your shirt, your body following to make it easier.

He takes your shirt off, observing your body with a needy, almost hungry gaze as he unclips your bra with one hand, sliding it down your arms. You feel small shivers run through your body as he keeps observing you for a moment. His hands fall on your hips again as he leans close, placing kisses all over your chest area. In-between the kisses, he bites on your skin a bit roughly a couple of times, earning a soft moan from you.

He makes sure to follow up with small licks afterwards, to soothe the sensations. He gently pushes you on the bed and you adjust yourself, laying down properly. Dazai is quick to follow, taking his pants and boxers off. Your eyes widen a bit as you see his exposed cock, not too thick, but definitely making up for it in length.

He gives you a little smile as he adjusts himself between your legs, towering over you while doing so. He continues where he stopped, as he wraps his lips around one of your nipples, sucking on it a bit harshly. You let out a soft whimper, back arching a bit as your hands wrap around his neck gently.

You can feel his cock slightly pressing into your lower tummy and it makes your body fill up with warmth. Dazai moves to your other nipple, kissing in the middle of your chest before he does, and gives it a soft, kitten lick. He starts drawing small circles on it with the tip of his tongue, earning another soft moan of yours.

"So sensitive already." he whispers into your skin before he gives one quick, harsh suck on your nipple, squeezing a little gasp out of your throat. He moves lower, planting kisses all over your tummy, gently biting from time to time. He reaches your lower tummy, placing a few more kisses mixed with a few licks of his tongue before he straightens himself.

He spreads your legs, one of his hands resting on your knee as he uses the fingertips of his other one to softly brush over your clit. Your hips twitch immediately, a faint whimper slipping past your lips.

"Don't tell me you've never done this to yourself before." he tilts his head, voice a bit more serious.

"I have, it just…" you pause for a moment, finding the words. In the meantime, Dazai slides his fingers to your inner lips, slowly rubbing them up and down, producing small sticky sounds as your precum coats his fingertips. You let out a louder whimper as his fingertips trace back to your clit, drawing small circles. Your hips twitch as he speeds up his movement, back arching into the mattress.

"Didn't feel as good?" he continues your sentence in a teasing, but low tone. You nod quickly as small whimpers escape your throat. Dazai's grip on your knee is firm as his movement on your clit sends pleasant, tingling sensation through your body. You feel a warm, painful knot quickly forming inside your lower tummy as more precum leaks down your pussy.

Dazai's gaze is fixated on your pussy, the way your hips twitch from bare touching makes his cock make a twitch of its own. He slowly slides his fingers down, aligning the two of them with your inner lips. He rubs small circles as his gaze grows greedy. He slowly slides them inside your drooling cunt, a stinging sensation making you close your eyes tightly as you let out a soft moan.

"Just relax, can you take two for me?" he asks softly as he slides his fingers in and out of your cunt very slowly at first. You nod as you breathe out, relaxing your body as much as possible. Dazai rubs small circles on your knee, using his thumb, relaxing you further. 

"Of course you can. You want to be good for me, don't you?" he continues, making you focus on his voice as the stinging sensation is still there. You nod again, a soft moan escaping your lips.

"Good job pretty. Just keep on being good and I will make sure you enjoy yourself." his voice is silky and soft. He gradually speeds up his movement, making your hips twitch as you feel your pussy stretching. The bitter-sweet sensation of pleasure and mild pain makes you gasp out.

"I will turn you into a proper little slut soon enough, I promise." he says in a sly, lower tone as he leans to your other knee and places a soft kiss on top of it. Your pussy tenses up around him, slightly clenching his fingers. 

"You like that? You want to be a little slut just for me?" he gives you a little smile, resting his cheek on your knee as his hand keeps the other one in place. You leak more precum around his fingers, a soft whimper slipping past your lips. You give him a small nod and his smile grows bigger, but seems cunning.

"You are a filthy little thing. If I didn't know better, I would assume you did this many times before." he lets out a breathy chuckle as he speeds up the movement of his fingers even more. They slide in and out of you fairly easily now, but you can still feel them stretching you out.

The stinging sensation subsides mostly by intriguing pleasure. You let out mellow moans, your back still arching slightly as Dazai focuses his movement on your g-spot, sending sweet jolting sensations through your body.

His fingers curl just a bit, each pump in and out making his fingertips rub your sweet spot perfectly. You clench around his fingers, intense warmth spreading through your body. He slowly moves his head away from your knee, straightening himself above you as he brings his other hand to your lower tummy. He places his palm on top of it, putting a bigger pressure on it as his thumb finds your clit, slowly moving up and down over it. 

"You know what's the cutest thing about virgins?" he gives you a half-lidded gaze as he speeds up the thrust of his fingers, earning louder moans from you as his thumb switches to circular movement. You feel your lower tummy burn from sweet sensations, warmth spreading underneath your skin in quick waves.

"You tend to cum easily. It's so hard not to take advantage of that." he whispers, voice slightly trembling as he feels your pussy clench and your precum coat his fingers more. You let out a sharp gasp out as your thighs start to shake, an immense amount of teasing tingles making your heart beat faster.

You feel your orgasm coming quickly in a few mild waves. Dazai keeps up his movement, speeding up the thrusts of his fingers even more, relentlessly pressuring your sweet spot as his thumb pleases all needy spots of your clit. You feel a mixture of pain and pleasure, a few dim moans escaping your lungs as your release builds up quickly, almost reaching its peak. Dazai's gaze is greedy and hazy, head slightly tilted to the side as he observes your pretty face and reactions he was earning.

You tense for a moment as your orgasm reaches its peak, letting out a loud gasp followed by sweet moans as your body relaxes. Dazai keeps his movement, sending small jolts through your body as you feel overly sensitive. Your orgasm slowly melts away, sensations a bit more intense.

You let out a few quick, breathy whimpers and he extracts his fingers as well as moves away from your clit. You take a deep breath in as he adjusts himself between your legs, gently tapping your clit with the tip of his cock.

"You did so well for me. You can take more, right?" he asks in a silky tone, sliding his tip over your clit and inner lips. You shiver, giving him a small "yes" in a shaky tone. He lets a thicker string of spit fall down on his cock and pumps it a couple of times, coating it and making it wet.

"Such a good little thing." he praises as he aligns his cock with your entrance, slowly sliding it inside. You let out a sharp moan, your pussy tightening around him as he stretches you out. He leans his face close to yours, using his elbows as leverages next to your face and letting out a needy whine as his pelvic area kisses yours.

"Relax a bit." he whispers, and you try to untense your lower tummy. He places a soft kiss on your lips as he slowly slides his cock out, only leaving the tip inside, his shaky whimper spreading warm breath on your lips. You let out a sharp moan as he thrusts back inside with more force, suddenly and roughly stretching you out. A soft whine slips past his lips.

"So tight. You are making it hard for me to be gentle with you." he whispers, voice shaky as he begins thrusting in a faster pace. Your thighs tense up, more filthy sounds escaping your throat as the mix of pain and pleasure convulses your lower tummy. You put your hands on his shoulders, gripping tightly as he speeds up even more, already drunk in pleasure.

"You don't mind, right?" he asks in a steadier tone, gaze needy and sharp.

"N-no! I can take it!" you choke out as his cock keeps sending jolting sensations through your body. 

"You are such a filthy little whore already." his words come out shaky as he speeds up even more, his cock relentlessly stimulating your sensitive spots inside. His balls roughly slap the underside of your pussy, making it feel warm and tingly, almost like it's bruising. You dig your fingernails into his shoulders, incoherently gasping in and out, each time his cock reaches the deepest spot inside of you.

His thrusts are long and heavy, but he gradually shortens them, making them quick and sharp. It stimulates your g-spot without a break, making your pussy clench and relax around him. Dazai lets out a few whimpers and whines of his own, his thrusts steady and precise regardless. He slowly leans away from you, placing his hands behind your knees and pushing them to your chest.

You choke out a breathy whine as he angles his hips a bit, reaching deeper than before, making sensations unbearable. Tears form inside your eyes as his strokes are quick and rough, vigorously pounding into you. Dazai lets out a silky whine, cursing under his breath as his grips tighten. His skin slaps yours without a break, leaving a vibrating sensation behind as his cock keeps pressuring all of your sensitive spots inside.

It feels pleasurable, too pleasurable, but unbearable. You grip the sheets tightly as your eyes fill up with even more tears. You let out a few snivels, tears quickly rolling down your cheeks as Dazai keeps his pace, not showing much sympathy.

"Ah, is my pretty little thing overwhelmed? You said you can take it." his voice is surprisingly steady and calm, opposing his unbearable thrusts. A few more little snivels escape your lips as more tears roll down your cheeks.

"Sorry pretty, tears don't work on me in the way you'd imagine. Quite the opposite, actually." he gives you a small smile you can barely see through clouded vision, your snivels turning into moans as his cock twitches inside of you, stimulating you even more.

"You are taking me so well, such a good little slut. Keep it up." his tone is sly as he presses your knees into your chest even more, rolling his hips into yours in a quick, merciless manner. He lets out a long, pathetic whine as even more tears roll down your cheeks, pleasure too overwhelming. Your lips part, a little string of drool glistening over them as weak, breathy moans slip past them. Your body feels sore, mind hazy as you get drunk on pleasure yourself. 

"Your state is truly pathetic to look at, you are so easy to break. Such a filthy, dumb slut." his voice is a bit shaky, mixing with his own moans. Your cunt tightens around him even more, an intense heat spreading through your whole body as his cock keeps on stimulating the deepest and sweetest spots.

Your arms feel weak, hands barely gripping the sheets anymore as only moans can come out of your throat. You feel a heavy knot inside your tummy, more tears rolling down your cheeks. Dazai swiftly spreads your legs, moving them away from your chest and placing them on each side of his hips as he makes a deep thrust, reaching the deepest spot inside. You gasp out, more desperate snivels following.

Dazai leans his face close to yours, gently licking the tears away as his hips speed up even more. You weakly wrap your arms around his neck, feeling shaky and sore. He keeps on collecting your tears with his tongue as if they were a reward, softly kissing your cheeks after. Your lower tummy convulses in heavy, warm cramps as you feel another orgasm approaching. Dazai's cock pulsates inside of you, sending more vibration-like sensations to your g-spot as he feels you clench around him. Your moans become louder, more intense just like your pleasure.

"Gonna cum for me again? What a greedy little bitch you are." he chuckles, his voice getting drowned by his own moans as you leak more precum, edging him closer to his own release. Your fingernails dig into the nape of his neck harshly, earning a high-pitched whine from him. A strong wave of tingles spreads inside your lower tummy as you reach your orgasm, breathy moans escaping your lungs. Your thighs shake and Dazai doesn't slow down, his skin roughly slapping into yours, his cock not giving you a single break.

Your chest feels heavy and light at the same time, eyes rolling in the back of your head as your climax reaches its peak. Dazai places a sloppy kiss on your lips as he keeps up his relentless pace, his cock twitching even more. Both of your moans, whimpers and whines fill up the room as his pace becomes a bit messy, sharp gasp escaping his throat as he finally reaches his own orgasm.

A few thick whips of cum fill you up, sensation unfamiliar and odd, but still making your body shiver as you let out a faint moan. Dazai keeps on letting out breathy whimpers, kissing your chest to muffle them as his pace slows down. 

He slowly fucks his cum into you, his breathing calming down quicker than yours.

"You did so well, you were so good for me." he whispers into your skin, planting more kisses on your chest as he slowly pulls out, making sure he doesn't make a mess. You let out a soft whimper as your pussy feels oddly empty. Dazai rolls to the side, bringing you closer to him. You put your leg over his hip, face snuggling into his chest. He kisses your forehead and as you calm down, he finally speaks.

"Are you in pain?" his voice is soft.

"No, not really. But I am sleepy." you whisper, slightly yawning as you become aware of your own tiredness.

"That's normal, but we should take a bath first." he gently brushes his fingertips over your cheek and you nod, kissing his chest.

After whispering sweet nothings to each other, loving words and little confessions, you take a long, relaxing bath together, enjoying each other in many more ways both of you desperately needed.

The End :) <3

I hope you liked it and enjoyed it! :) <3

Thank you so much for all the love and support, it means a lot to me! :D <3

Forehead kisses :3

#dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #dazai x reader smut #dazai osamu x reader smut #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai smut #dazai bsd #dazai osamu x you #dazai osamu x y/n #bsd smut #bsd imagines

[heavyhitterheaux]

Ghost Part 2

AN: 🤭🤭🤭

Synopsis: Jack makes it known to you that he wants to do right by Ace, but you still have hesitations in the back of your mind. It isn't until he decides to do something drastic that lets you know you had been right all along and that you will do anything to protect your son.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Read Part 1 first

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After that night, Jack kept trying to call you to apologize, but you were steadily ignoring his calls. The next step was him texting you to plead with you to talk to him, but you were not in the mood to put up with him and didn't want to hear anything that he had to say.

Jack- Y/N, please talk to me. I'm sorry about what happened. It's been almost three weeks since I talked to Ace

Jack- I promise to make it up to Ace and to you if you'll let me 

You- Ace told me that he didn't want to talk to you right now and why all of a sudden are you making it a priority that you talk to him? Any other time you wouldn't care

Jack- Did he say that or did you? And he's my son so obviously I want to talk to him

You- Look, Harlow. I am protecting MY son at all costs and if it has to be from you, then so be it

Jack- But he's my son too

You- Okay and he's only your son at your convenience. You have basically ignored him just about his entire damn life and then get in your feelings when he called someone else daddy. Are you really even upset about not having a good relationship with him or is it your pride that's hurting? I think it's the latter

Jack- Y/N, please. I get that I've messed up but I want to do better

You- We'll talk to you when we're ready

For the rest of October, it came and went without any more incidents from Jack which you were surprised by. Because you were sure by now he would have pulled something.

It was as if he was trying to be better for you and for Ace. But you still weren't sure and still had your hesitations. Why would you trust someone who has given you every reason in the world not to?

One morning you woke up and checked your banking app to see that he not only sent money to pay for daycare, but an extra two thousand. Thinking that it was a mistake, you quickly sent the extra money back, but within twenty minutes it was back in your account and that's when you finally sent him a text.

You- Why did you send me an extra two thousand? I sent it back, but you sent it to me again

Jack- I remembered you mentioned to me a while back that Ace needed some winter clothes so I sent it. Get something for yourself too.

You- Jack, I don't need this much and have you suddenly switched places with someone else? I usually have to beg you to even send money for daycare and half the time you don’t even remember to do it

Jack- It's for the two of you so keep it and no I haven’t

You were simply taken aback and didn't know what to say or make of it.

You- Well, thank you 

Jack- Um do you think I can get him this weekend?

You- the entire weekend?

Jack- Well yeah. If you don't have anything planned this weekend that is 

You- I will see what he says and then I’ll let you know

Jack- Okay

You guess he was trying to make up for lost time, but you were still at the point where you wanted to be done with him. But if he did decide to be in his life, would it be for the long run? Because the last thing you wanted was for Ace to get comfortable with him being around and then he suddenly disappears.

You usually had to beg him to pay for it and remind him every month, but this time he did it without even a word needing to be uttered from you. And he was a week early with sending it to you.

After that incident between Jack and Clay and Ace seeing it, Ace stopped asking to call Jack before his bedtime and it was eventually replaced with Jack calling him and you were surprised by him checking on how you were too.

The last time he did that was before Ace was born. However, you kept it short and sweet and gave him one word answers because at this point, you were tolerating him and nothing else.

There were a few times when Jack first started to call that Ace didn’t want to talk to him and that made Jack's heart sink and he knew that he had to do better. He was now on the receiving end and didn't like the way it felt knowing that this was how Ace felt when he didn't answer the phone.

You didn’t understand where this new attitude and changes were coming from, but you were in no way, shape, or form complaining about it because of how happy Ace was. 

He had taken Ace out a few times with Jack after apologizing properly to the two of you spending the weekend with him and Ace always came back home to you so happy that he was finally getting to spend time with his dad, so the last thing that you were ever going to do was ruin it. 

You take it that it was Clay yelling at him and Ace not wanting to be around him that served as his wake-up call to get his shit together. 

One night after Jack called Ace to say goodnight, he quickly said that he wanted to talk to you once you were back in your bedroom by yourself. 

“Yes?”

“Uh, how are you? Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine and no.” You were trying to keep this conversation short and sweet so you could go to sleep. Unless it had to do with Ace, you didn’t feel that there was a need to talk to him. 

“Umm, would the two of you want to come to NPLH? It’s December 18th. Ace has never seen me perform before and… neither have you. At least I don't think you have.”

When you were quiet and didn’t give him an answer, he spoke up again.

“I.. Y/N, I’m trying to do right by the both of you and it shouldn’t have taken this long. But I am trying to change and be the best possible version of myself for both of you. I'm tired of the disappointed looks that I get from him as well as you.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, just him. I’m used to being disappointed in you, so my expectations regarding anything having to do with you are in hell. Ace is only three so he’s quick to forgive and forget. However, I am not.”

“I… deserved that. I do need to worry about you because you’re his mother. So what do you say? You would be backstage with all of my friends and family. Safe from the crowd, because I know Ace doesn’t like them.”

Now this had you doing a double take because you had no idea that Jack knew that Ace didn’t like crowds. 

“Don’t look so surprised that I know that. Now does that sound okay with you? I can get him those headphones too to protect his ears since I know he hates loud noises. I’ll come and get you both myself before the show starts.”

“And you don’t think anyone will say anything when they notice that he looks just like you? I want to keep him protected from the life that you live.”

“We can deal with it when the time comes. I mean they’re going to have to find out eventually anyway, right? So what do you say?”

“I guess, but I need three more tickets to give to my best friends who actually help me take care of Ace even though they don’t have to and do it because they love him just as much as I do. Even though Ace let it slip to them that you were his dad and they probably have a grudge against you now, they still like your music… at least I think they do.”

“Of course, whatever you want.  And are they going to say anything? Do I need…”

“They don’t need to sign NDA’s and I didn’t even break mine. So, you’re going to make your own son sign a NDA? He’s the one that said it.”

“Well, no. I guess not.”

“Then we’ll be there.”

The day had finally come and Jack had been nervous from the time that he had woken up. He was now eating breakfast with Urban who noticed that his best friend kept fidgeting. Last night he had sent you the three extra tickets which you immediately sent to Nadia so that she would have them.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked while sliding his orange juice closer to him.

“I… Y/N is coming tonight and she's bringing Ace. I’m actually going to get them before the show and bring them to the arena.”

“Oh, the baby mama and son that you act like don't exist. Got it.”

All Jack did was roll his eyes.

“I deserved that, but I'm trying to be better moving forward. I don't want him to grow up and despise me because at this rate, that's exactly what's going to happen.”

“Like bro…. Your parents don't even know about him. And he's what? Almost four?”

“I was going to also ask her if I could take Ace to see them on Christmas. They might be less mad? I mean they’ll see him tonight, but I don’t know if that’s the time or place to drop that on them.”

“I… Jack….. what? Is he supposed to be their Christmas present? You should have told them when it first happened.”

“Either way it looks bad and they're going to want to kill me so I might as well get it all out in the open.”

“So, you went on and on about how she trapped you, but now you're suddenly all in? What changed?” Urban curiously asked.

“Hearing that he called Clay ‘daddy.’ That's me and I’m the only one he needs to be referring to. And the fact that for about two or three weeks after that happened and I tried to call and talk to him, he wouldn't come to the phone. I've been a shitty person towards Y/N and been a shitty father to my first born.”

“Maggie and Brian are going to kick not only your ass, but Clay’s too.”

“At least Clay has been there since he was a month old. I can't say the same thing.” 

“Just do better moving forward, but do you want a relationship with him or are you just mad about what happened with Clay?”

“A little bit of both, not going to lie. When Y/N sent me that in a text, I was pissed but there's no one to be mad at but myself. And truth be told, I don't even know Y/N like I should. I hardly know anything about her for that to be the person that I have a child with.”

“Does Neelam know any of this? Did Y/N sign an NDA?”

“She doesn't and Y/N did when we first started messing around and if she really wanted to come for me and how I've treated Ace….”

“Deadbeat baby daddy.”

“URB! I was going to say that I'm surprised that she didn't break it.”

“Well you have to think, she's protecting him and herself. And the fact that she lives in Louisville too?”

“I just want us to be able to get along and raise Ace.”

“That's literally all that she probably wants but you were making it hard as hell.”

“I know and I can only imagine the looks on my parents faces.”

It was now around 4 PM when you heard a knock on the door and Ace immediately ran towards it and started to reach up to open it, but stopped once you had scolded him.

“Ace! Baby, get away from the door and wait for mommy to open it.”

“But mommy it's daddy! Hurry up please!”

You had to laugh at him telling you please and opened the door with him right behind you to see Jack staring at you.

“Uh hi.”

“Hi.” You responded flatly, but Ace immediately ran and climbed onto him. He figured at least one person was happy to see him.

“Daddy!”

“Hey bubs. You all ready to go?” 

He eagerly nodded, but all you and Jack did was laugh.

“I think you need shoes first though, it's a little cold.”

Once all three of you arrived at the arena, Jack hopped out of his Jeep and opened your door which you were surprised by before going to get Ace out of his car seat. 

All three of you made your way inside and backstage where a lot of his friends and family had already gathered waiting for the show to start. 

There was a variety of different snacks and drinks on display backstage and you noticed two other little kids running around who you knew were Nemo's daughters and Jack's goddaughters.You immediately saw Clay out of the corner of your eye and he came over to hug you before hugging Ace who held onto him tightly.

“Hey, I'm surprised you actually said yes to coming.”

“Not going to lie, me too. But I really did this for Ace and not me. Everything I do is for him.” You said as you pinched Ace's cheek who smiled at you. You noticed that Ace was now a little more quiet and reserved since he was now around a crowd of people that he didn't know and this was typical. It took him almost a month to not sit by himself in daycare and get more comfortable.

You then saw Jack's parents make their way over to you, but just as you were about to speak to introduce yourself as well as Ace, Jack quickly intervened which surprised you and the last thing that you thought would happen did.

“Mom, dad, this is Y/N and her son, Ace.” You did your best to try and hide your disappointment while Ace was being held by Clay next to you confused. Urban was behind Jack and simply shook his head.

So much for saying that things would be different moving forward. 

You talked to his parents for a little while before Ace mentioned that he was hungry and Clay proceeded to grab him something to snack on. Before long, it was time for Jack to do his set and he had given you the headphones for Ace so that the two of you could watch from the side of the stage. 

But what you didn't notice was the rest of PG whispering to Urban.

“Uh, why does that kid look like a mini version of Jack? And who is she?” 2fo asked Urban who tried not to have a startled look on his face.

“Jack can answer that better than I can.” Was all he said before Neelam quickly inserted herself in the conversation.

“So, you know something we don't know in other words is what you're trying to say, correct?” 

“Look, it's not my place. He'll tell you when he's ready.”

“All I need to know is if I'm going to have a problem out of her.”

“Neelam, she's not like that. At least from what he told me.” 

“Well, you can never be too sure and I need to be prepared. I'll ask him about it later. He's worked entirely too hard to just have someone come and mess it up. Matter of fact I need to make sure she signs an NDA.”

—-

It was around one in the morning when all of you had finally gotten back to the apartment and Jack volunteered to put Ace to bed. The car ride back was a little awkward and of course the two of you didn't want to say anything in front of Ace. Once Jack had tucked Ace in, he came back out to the living room where you were and you noticed that he looked nervous.

“Y/N, I want to keep the both of you safe so that's why I didn't say that he was my son tonight.”

“But from your family and friends? What sense does that make?”

“I… Look, just hear me out. Can he spend the day with me and my family on Christmas day? And he can be with yours on Christmas Eve? I just figured that it wasn’t the time or the place to tell them about the two of you.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you tried not to show how you were feeling on the inside. Christmas had been your favorite holiday up until the time that you were nine. Since then, Ace is the only reason why you started back celebrating it but it still didn't feel the same.

“The time to tell them was four years ago.” You quietly muttered and didn’t say anything after that. 

“Y/N?” Jack called out to you because it had been a few minutes and you had yet to give him an answer.

“Um, you can have him in the afternoon.” That way he could at least open the presents that you had gotten him in the morning.

“But are you going to see your family? I don't want to inconvenience you or keep you from them.”

“No, so it's fine.” You kept it short and sweet and hoped that he would drop it and let it go since you agreed to let Ace go with him.

“Wait, why?” he curiously asked and you couldn’t even blame him for doing so.

“Because I can't see them. And why do you suddenly care so much?”

“Do they not know about Ace too, or?”

“Jack, my family is dead. I literally only have Ace. If I want to visit them, I have to go to the cemetery. So can we drop this now?” You asked while trying to avoid eye contact with him. 

All Jack did was a double take before looking at you with wide eyes.

“Wait… so you’ve…. been by yourself basically this entire time?”

“I don't need your looks of pity. I'm fine.”

“But….”

“Jack, please. I don't want to talk about this anymore.”

“Okay um, I'll drop it for now. But, that means that I'm getting both of you on Christmas morning to spend the day with me and my family and you aren't saying no.”

“Just take Ace, I'll be fine.”

“Y/N, you aren't spending Christmas by yourself.” 

“What difference does it make? This is my normal. Being a mom and then being by myself.”

“Well that stops this year. I do not want you to be by yourself. My family will love you. And you have me so there's no reason for you to be alone.”

“Hmm, yeah the baby mama you kept hidden for almost four years? The Only Fans model that you accidentally got pregnant? And I have you? Really? I had to beg you to even show our son an ounce of attention. And not even going to add in the fact that you thought I was lying about the entire thing and treating me like absolute shit.”

“Our kid is not an accident, Y/N. And I promised you that things are going to be different now. I apologize for how I acted towards you because that wasn't right. I was just scared and instead of telling you that, I ignored it until I created an even bigger situation that ended up hurting you, Ace, and myself.”

“He isn’t to me, but for you when I first told you he definitely was.”

“Please Y/N, us arguing is not going to solve anything. I'm going to tell my parents about you and Ace properly. Don't you think he deserves to know his grandparents?”

“Of course I do. I just never thought that I would see the day where this would become a reality. Not going to lie, when Ace got to be around 7 or 8, I was going to leave and move back home.”

“And where is that?”

“Philadelphia. I just needed to be near people that I could trust while he's this small. I was in D.C. since that's where I had gone to school and that's where I had him so I just stayed there until Nadia wouldn't take no for an answer and made me come down here. At least in Philly, I can hopefully buy the house that I grew up in. It's been on sale for some time and I've been saving up for it or at least trying to.”

“Wait, so you still want to leave Louisville?”

“I mean there's nothing here for me. It's not like I grew up here like you did and have a family that I can see whenever I want. The rest of my family didn't want me so there's that.”

“Well, I want you and Ace close to me. We can't do that if you move away.”

“According to you, I was stalking you, remember?”

“Y/N, can we just hold off on discussing that. One thing at a time and once again I'm not here to argue.” 

All you did was cross your arms and sigh as you then heard Jack’s phone go off.

He looked down to see that it was Neelam and she was asking about you.

Neelam- Who is that girl and her son and why does he look like you? Start explaining IMMEDIATELY 

Jack- I'm with her now, I'll text you later

Neelam- Um, no. Explain now.

Jack- His name is Ace and he's my child and his mother's name is Y/N and he's almost four.

Neelam- What in the actual FUCK?

Jack- I'll call you when I leave. 

“Then it's settled. Both of you are coming with me. I have a shitload of presents for him and they’re all at my house so he can open them hopefully before everyone gets there.”

When you didn’t say anything, Jack simply grabbed your hand, startling you.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you, but we need to get one thing straight.”

“What is it?”

“You need to be all in with Ace because I refuse to let you break his heart for the millionth time.”

You were on facetime Nadia, Liv, and Blaire trying to figure out what to wear. It was currently Christmas Eve, and you had already put Ace to sleep when you decided to rummage through your closet for something decent to wear for tomorrow and meet Jack's family properly. 

“What about the one that makes your boobs look big?” Blaire asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Blaire, they’re already big and I’m meeting his PARENTS!”

“Well technically you already did. They just didn't know who you were.” Nadia said as she was examining the black sweater dress that you were holding up.

“And I wonder what they're going to say when Jack tells him tomorrow.” Liv added as she was mixing up the batter for her Christmas cookies.

“They're going to be pissed, I already know. But what am I supposed to say when they ask how we met?” You asked as you were now looking for a pair of shoes to go with the dress.

“Wait, how did yall meet? Because we don't even know.” Blaire curiously asked.

“Nadia knows.” You quietly answered and you simply heard her sigh. 

“Well are yall going to spill it or what!?”

“He was a subscriber to my Only Fans.” You quietly said as you pulled out your red and black knee high boots to go along with your dress.

Blaire spit her eggnog out that she had been drinking and Liv was simply looking at you with her mouth hanging wide open. 

“Um, come again? No pun intended. But… WHAT?” You heard Liv yell and all you did was sigh.

“It happened right before my senior year and I've basically been a single parent ever since.”

“Well at least he's trying to do better for the both of you.”

 “I don't care about me. That ship sailed long ago, the only person that I'm concerned about is Ace.”

“So even if Jack does get his shit all the way together and asks you to be in a relationship so yall can start with a clean slate, you would still say no?” Nadia curiously asked and it made you stop and think for a second.

“Yes.”

“Can we ask why?”

“I have seen the absolute worst in this man and how he treated me before was unacceptable and it will always be in the back of my mind. Instead of owning up to what he did, he called me a liar, a gold digger, claimed I was stalking him when I moved here and got mad when Clay wanted to have a relationship with Ace. How could I date someone like that?”

“He’s changing for the better, Y/N. You never know. But, your reasoning is 100% valid. I didn't know he had done all that.”

“Like he’s trying to be all nice to me all of a sudden and asking how I am or if I need anything but if it doesn't have to do with our son, there is literally no reason for me to talk to him. The conversations are awkward and it's like pulling teeth because he knows that I want absolutely nothing to do with him. Like he has to understand how bad he hurt me and the fact that I didn't have my family or anyone around me at that time to help me when he was born. I was scared shitless. There were some days when I couldn't eat because I had to pay for diapers because he refused to. I had to apply for government assistance until I found a better paying job. I have one now, but yet I’m still struggling. I don't think I will ever forgive him for that. My standards for him are in hell and I told him that the other day. I expect absolutely NOTHING from him. But, I would never talk bad about him in front of Ace. At the end of the day, he's going to be taken care of if it's left up to me. Him, I’m not so sure.”

All they did was simply nod at your response.

“I hear everyone talk about him in such a positive light, but that person that they're referring to? I’ve never met him. I’m on my guard because I just have a feeling that he's going to try and pull some shit.”

It was around noon on Christmas Day and Ace was busy playing with his new toys that Jack had gotten him while you along with his parents had congregated in the corner of the living room to discuss Ace. Jack figured he might as well before the rest of his family started to arrive.

“So, we have something to tell the both of you. And we wanted to tell you before everyone else got here.”  Jack started to say while you were sitting next to him and trying not to fidget. You knew that this wasn't going to go over well and there was nothing that you could do to stop it. You were suddenly now more interested in your bracelet.

“What? What is it?” Maggie asked with concern showing on her face.

“Umm, Ace is my son.”

“Daddy, up!”

And right on cue, Ace yelled for Jack and was soon climbing all over him as he picked him up and started to play with his earrings while you were trying to not have a panic attack.

“Your….. what?” Brian quietly asked as Maggie still hadn't said anything. All she was doing was staring at Ace and finally seeing the resemblance between the two of them. Ace didn’t look like you at all.

“He's mine and Y/N is his mother.”

“How old is he?” Maggie asked as you could tell she was trying not to yell.

“Almost four.”

“WHAT?! And you're just now saying something?”

“Because at first he thought I was lying and only after his money which wasn't true and said that I trapped him. Once the paternity test confirmed that Ace was in fact his, he still wanted nothing to do with him. However, Clay did and he's known him since he was a month old.” You confessed as Jack looked on with wide eyes.

“But, we're in a better place now.” Jack quickly said while chiming in attempting to make himself not sound like a complete deadbeat.

“Hmm.” Was all you said in response as you looked down at your nails.

Before they had a chance to respond, Jack's front door opened and in walked Clay with a bunch of gifts in his hands which you assumed was for Ace since Clay had told you previously he had gotten gifts for him.

The only thought in your head was where you were going to put all of them in your small apartment.

All eyes were on Clay and he quickly got a confused look on his face before having a moment of realization.

“Oh, so he finally told you two about being a deadbeat?” He asked as Ace slid off of Jack’s lap and immediately went over to Clay who was setting the gifts down. When he was finished, he quickly picked him up.

“Seriously?” Was all Jack did as he sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes.

“I… people are going to start to be here soon but we'll finish discussing this later. Y/N, you seem like a sweet girl and I commend you for taking such good care of Ace when you didn’t have anyone to help you.” Was all Maggie said before eyeing her oldest son and she stood up to head into the kitchen while Brian just sat there in disbelief.

It was a few days into the new year when you had gotten a call from a strange number on your way home from work as Ace was asleep in the backseat. At first you declined the call, but when they called three more times in a row, you finally decided to answer.

“Hello?”

“Y/N? This is Katrina.”

“Katrina, who?” You asked confused and wondering how the woman that you did not know suddenly got your number.

“Your Aunt Katrina.”

At that moment all you saw was red. She was the one that refused to take you and decided to place you into the foster system since your mother and her had a long outstanding beef that you had nothing to do with and you didn’t even know what it was about. Yet, you were the one that felt the consequences from it. 

“What do you want and how did you get my number?”

“I… I can explain later, but how far away are you from Philly right now?”

“Why?”

“Your grandmother. They’re saying she has probably weeks or even days to live and ever since they told her that, she has been persistent on us finding you.” She quietly said and it took everything in you not to drop your phone. 

“Finding me for what? Yall didn’t want me remember?” You shot back as you pulled into the parking garage of your apartment building. 

“Y/N, please. It wasn’t that simple. But how soon can you be here? She said that there is no way in hell, her words not mine, that she was leaving this earth without seeing you.”

“I… just have to pack my things along with my son. I’ll drive and I should be there by the morning if I don’t make a lot of stops.”

“I’ll text you the details.”

As soon as you hung up, you were in somewhat of a daze. As many years that have gone by, you thought your grandmother would have passed away already. If you did your math right, she had to be close to 100 by now. You felt that your grandparents were the only other people in your family that truly loved you and would have done anything for you besides your parents and older brother. 

You carried Ace inside while taking off his jacket and laying him down on the couch as you ran around the apartment and trying to pack the essentials of what you two might need. You didn’t plan on staying for very long, but more than likely you were going to stay for her funeral. You figured that it was the least you could do.  And get an explanation on why Katrina had given you up so easily.

A quick text was sent to Nadia, Blaire, and Liv telling them that you were headed back home for a family emergency. All they did was tell you to keep them updated as you were now finishing packing your car for the ten close to eleven hour trip. It was around seven at night when you finally got on the road and hit the highway hoping to get to your grandmother before it was too late. You did your best to keep your tears from falling because you felt that you had been robbed.

All these years, she was alive and you had no idea.

It was true that you could have looked for her if you wanted to, but you had it in your mind that they wanted nothing to do with you.

It was around ten at night when Ace had finally started to stir and noticed that the two of you were still in the car and looked around confused.

“Mommy, where are we going?” You heard him say as he startled you.

“We’re going to see the place where mommy grew up. Or sort of for that matter. It’s going to be a long drive so you can go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” Was all he quietly said and you soon looked back in your rearview mirror to see that he had drifted off.

Once you had hit Philly, it was around six in the morning and you decided to find a hotel for you and Ace to stay and actually lay down in a comfortable bed. At least for two hours until you went to go and see her. Being back there was something out of a dream and you made it up in your mind to get a cheesesteak before the two of you left to go back to Louisville since when you get it out of state, it doesn’t quite taste right. 

After getting some much needed sleep, you and Ace set out to your grandmother’s house since that’s where Katrina said she was on hospice as much as you didn’t want to believe her. Once you pulled up to the house, you wanted to cry. It looked the same exact way and it still had the swing set in the front yard that your grandfather built for all of his grandkids. You grabbed Ace out of the backseat, reminded him to mind his manners even if he didn’t need one and proceeded to knock on the door.

You were startled to see your Aunt Katrina open it and it took her a second to notice that it was you seeing as the last time that she was you, you were only nine years old.

“Y/N.”

“Katrina.”

“And who is this little one?” She asked as she stepped to the side to let the both of you in.

“My name is Ace! I’m three, almost four. What’s your name, ma’am?” Ace piped up and said which you were surprised by seeing as anytime he was around new people, he would hide behind you. 

“Well, aren't you cute? Named after your uncle, I see. That makes me your great Aunt Katrina.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Ace added while holding his hand out for her to shake and you couldn’t help but to laugh.

“She’s upstairs.” Was all Katrina said to you and your legs instantly felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. You nodded towards her and started to make your way up the steps while holding Ace’s hand. Once you got to her room, the door was open and you could hear the sound of the television that was currently on The Price is Right which made you laugh to yourself. When you were at home sick that’s what you would watch.  You walked in to see that her eyes were closed, but you quickly heard her voice.

“About time you showed up. Took them forever to track you down and find you.” Was all she said as her eyes opened and smiled at you.

“My sweet Y/N. My youngest granddaughter.”

That was the moment that you immediately burst into tears as you sat on the bed and hugged her.

“I….” You started to say but she quickly shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re here now and that’s what’s important.” She comforted you as she held you tighter.

“Now, who’s this young man?” She said when the two of you finally broke apart and she now noticed Ace standing next to you.

“Your great grandson, Ace.”

“Ace, I love that name. You know you’re named after one of the sweetest boys that I ever knew.” She said as Ace climbed up to sit next to her.

“Really? My mommy always tells me that I’m named after someone really special.”

“That you are.”

Your grandmother had sent Ace downstairs for Katrina to watch him as she wanted to speak to you alone and now you were suddenly nervous.

“First off, never think for a second that a day went by and I didn’t think of you. Or that I didn’t do my hardest to try and find you after you had gone into the system. Katrina was dead wrong for how she handled it because of a simple grudge, but also more wrong in telling those people that me and your grandfather didn’t want to take you. Instead I spent years trying to track you down with no luck. I wanted you and wanted to keep you, but you had moved around so many times that eventually, the state lost the file that tracked where you were leaving me no leads. I looked from the time that you first went in to try and get you back, up until the time you turned eighteen.”

“You… wanted to keep me?”

“Of course I did! Left up to me, there was no way in hell one of my grandchildren was going to be put through that, but… I’m just happy to see you alive, well, and thriving. That son of yours is beautiful and he has your smile. He has the best mother that anyone could ask for and I know it.”

“So, all this time?”

“It wasn’t until my diagnosis about a month ago when I said, no, demanded that Katrina find you. It was the least she could do for what she did. She started to feel guilty where it started to look like I would never find you about the time you would have been fifteen. I figured if these are going to be my last few days here, I need to see Y/N. I wanted to tell you how much I love you and that I have a little surprise for you.”

“I’m just happy I got to see you and that you got to meet my heart outside of my chest and reason for living. What is it?”

“I know how much your parents and your brother meant to you and that you don’t have many things to remember them by. So, I noticed that the house all of you used to live in went on sale….”

All you did was gasp and your heart started beating a mile a minute having an idea about what she was about to say.

“And I bought it. And put the deed in your name. I know that you’re in Louisville right now, but whenever you’re ready, it’ll be here waiting for you.” She said as she opened her bedside table and handed it to you.

“I… I literally don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. That’s the least that I could do for you. I hope you can accept that as my apology and you have to promise me that you’ll pass it down to Ace so it can always stay in the family.”

—

Your grandmother passed the very next day and knew that she only held on long enough so that she could see you and make sure that you were okay. At least you now knew that she never stopped trying to find you while you were in the system and wanted to keep you so that she and your grandfather could raise you themselves. You were currently at your hotel with Ace as he was playing with one of the many toys that Jack had gotten for him when your phone suddenly went off. You had been in such a daze for the past forty eight hours that you had forgotten to even look at your phone or tell him what had happened for that matter. Your only priority was getting here safely before it was too late. Because you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if you didn’t. 

“Hello?” You tiredly said as you glanced at the clock on the nightstand that read 11 AM. Soon it would be time to head over to your grandmother’s house to start planning the funeral.

“Where have you been? And why haven’t you answered my calls? Where is Ace?” Jack all said in one breath and you quickly got annoyed. You had enough to deal with at the moment.

“Well hello to you too. I’m okay, thanks for asking.”

“Where are you and why haven’t I heard from you? I went by your apartment and you weren’t there.”

“I’m in Philly. I’m back home.” Was all you could get out before Jack immediately started to raise his voice and not letting you explain the reasoning for you actually being there.

“And you took my son with you?”

“Uh? Why wouldn’t I? He’s my child and I wanted to show him where I grew up and don’t you have a career to focus on? You were going to keep him the entire time I was up here?”

“So, that’s the game we’re going to play now, huh?” He said and you couldn’t help but to be confused. 

“Jack, what are you even talking about? Who is playing games?”

“That was your damn plan the entire time. Move back home and take Ace with you.”

“Jack, that’s not…”

“Okay, I got something for you too. Expect me to file for full custody once he’s back across state lines.”

He immediately hung up and you were left speechless. 

You knew it.

You fucking knew he would pull some shit like this.

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[ferris-the-wheel]

Posted 3/8/24

Fyodor Dostoevsky Relationship Headcanons

: ̗̀➛ Fyodor x gn!reader

A/N: This was pretty fun to make and I kinda wanna do this with more BSD characters. Who am I kidding- I'm totally doing this with other BSD characters.

: ̗̀➛ Not proofread, may be some mistakes.

TW: Semi-controlling behavior (but not super overbearing???)

⁂ Pretty much no one knows you exist, not even anyone in the Decay of Angels.

⁂ That's because he doesn't want to risk you getting taken hostage or killed by his enemies (which he has a lot of, obviously). He also doesn't trust the DOA members not to try to use you to get the upper hand against him.

⁂ You're one of his two weaknesses and he doesn't want anyone to exploit that fact.

⁂ One of his plans for preventing anyone from finding out about you is that he would buy a comfortable house for you to live in in a less populated area outside of the city, but you declined. You insisted that since no one even knew that you were connected to each other, you could live in the city.

⁂ He reluctantly agreed but made sure to install a bunch of security cameras to the place you were living at in the city, as well as teaching you how to use a variety of types of guns.

⁂ Whenever he's just sitting around (usually while his plans are unfolding and causing chaos), he'll just be eager to get back home to you. He would also plan out the whole evening in his head, knowing how it would go before it was even past noon.

⁂ While normally, the only side of himself that he let's people see is that he's soulless and doesn't care about anything. However, you know that this isn't exactly the case. While yes, he does act like that, he shows a different side, only around you.

⁂ He still has a certain coldness to him (personality wise as well as being ice cold to the touch lol), but he's nicer toward you than he is to anyone else. Of course, that's not to say that he's a complete angel. He's very protective of you if you couldn't tell so he tends to ask where you're going when you go out and may follow you to make sure that you're safe.

⁂ He can be a bit of a control freak, but that's kind of something that you have to put up with. For example, if he wants something from you, such as a kiss, he will do pretty much anything to get it (in cases where you don't want to or aren't in the mood). He would be a bit manipulative/deceptive with his methods, but nothing like downright abusive or anything. He tries to dial it down when something really bothers you, though.

⁂ He can be... just a bit jealous (let's be real, he can be pretty damn jealous). He doesn't see why you waste your attention on other less competent, boring people, but he doesn't force you not to hang out with anyone.

⁂ He does let you have friends and connections, he just warns you not to tell them about him. He does very extensive background checks on the people you hang out with, just to make sure they aren't governments agents or members of the Port Mafia. Yeah, no one knows that you and Fyodor are connected at all, but he's just covering all his bases.

⁂ If someone tries to hit on you or anything like that, good luck to them. Fyodor would probably find out immediately and either one of two scenarios would occur:

1. He would ask that you not hang out with said person anymore and would convince you to completely cut that person out of your life.

Or the more dramatic option.....

2. He would simply make that person disappear. It would just happen. Of course, he had nothing to do with their disappearance. Feel free to interpret that how you will.

⁂ Sometimes he'll offer to let you have his ushanka for a while since he likes seeing you wear it. In fact, it soon became a routine: when he came home, he'd take off his coat and hang it up, then he'd locate you and place the ushanka on your head. He didn't always give it up easily though. He'd sometimes demand something in return.

⁂ When Fyodor wants to relax, he'll lay his head down in your lap and have you mess around with his hair. It doesn't matter if you're just mussing it up or if you're just combing it, he loves the feeling of your fingers running through his hair.

BSD taglist: @edith-is-a-cat @twst-om-lover @l7k-a @lyle-my-beloved @xen-blank @cookiesandbiscuits @mermaidfanficlibrary

Reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♥︎

#fyodor dostoevsky bsd #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor bsd #fyodor dostoevsky bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #gn!reader

[doki-doki-imagines]

hi! maybe a little self indulgent but was wondering if you could write a lil drabble of earthrealm gang x yn (fem y/n if possible) but she’s related to shang tsung in some way (idk sister, daughter if u wanna get real silly) and shes just as pretty but just as mean :3c ty!

author note: In some the reader is the sister in others the daughter. Going for hcs for my mental health :)

Do you like what I write? Consider tipping on my ko-fi!

Johnny Cage: -He doesn't completely trust you, even if damn, you are hot. -Like he can't resist flirting with you even if it means getting the harshest rejection ever. -At this point, it is a challenge more than anything else. Once one of your failed potions exploded right into his face while he was blabbering one of his cheesy pickup lines. "You are smoking." "Hot?" "No, just smoking." You reply, pinching a strand of hair still on fire, extinguishing it. -You know 99% of boys stop flirting just before getting a date? Johnny's positive mindset won't let him fall for this trap. -Maybe you'll fall for his loserboy behavior…

Kenshi Takahashi: -Mh the ex-yakuza doesn't trust you one bit. Even if you never betrayed them. -It's just that you like lying a bit too much for his liking. -"I'll keep an eye on you." You chuckle "What eye? I don't see any on your face." You shrug his words off. -Nobody has ever been blacklisted this fast in Kenshi's mind. -But for real, he'll keep your every step checked ready to attack at any of your missteps. -"If you like spying on me so much you could take me out on a date so I can answer all your questions." You hear him choking on his saliva before snapping back. "How do you know I'm spying on you?" Your eyes widened getting closer to him "So I was right? You are spying on me? Damn, you must be so down bad for me-" -The idea of falling one of Wu Shi mountains sounds so good now for Kenshi. "Come pick me up at 9 p.m. and take me to a nice place it has been so long since I've eaten something nice." -Seems like Kenshi has a new problem to deal with. -Also because Madame Bo is the only place nearby…

Kung Lao: -He doesn't trust you at all, your mother may have been a nice woman but your father is terrible! And with your sharp words, Lao thinks you have taken his personality too. -"Begone sorcerer! My hat will slice you in two if you take another step closer." "I'm sure my words have done more damage than that stupid hat." -Actually, a friendship will develop thanks to your constant fights, not always won by you. -Raiden better if you stay alert, you have two sly foxes in the temple now

Raiden: -He isn't as wary as the others, after all you haven't done anything wrong. Being born from such an evil guy doesn't make you evil. -But damn, you can be so harsh with him at times. More than once Raiden wanted to remind you that if it wasn't for him you would be homeless and a loser just like your father. -But then Raiden remembers it's actually thanks to Liu Kang if you are there and bites his tongue. -You are also one of the few people able to make Raiden snap! Most monks never saw such fury before he met you. -"You should thank me. Weak minds don't last much in battle." "If you expect me to thank you for pissing me off you'll have to wait your entire lifetime, snotty sorcerer."

Liu Kang: -When he created this new timeline he hoped a sister could tone down Shang Tsung's evil intentions. -But at the end he threw you away, treating you like a stepping stone to the road to achieve his goal. -So Liu Kang took you in. That doesn't mean you will so easily forgive him for his mistake. -Your words slice his heart frequently. Not because you want to cry about your condition, it's mostly your fault after all, but simply because you like to tease that raw nerve that awakens a usually hidden side of him. -"Shut your mouth or I'll seal your lips forever!" "Ohhh-" you coo at his words "But then how I'll latch my lips at your throat? You seemed to like it yesterday." You say, pressing a finger on the spot where the hickey should be, already recovered thanks to his godly nature. -Liu Kang stomps his right foot on the ground before running out from your lab. How he can love you so much and despise you at the same time is something he still has to wrap his head around.

Geras: -A saint. You may tease, joke, just be nasty and Geras will reply with the calmest voice ever. -Liu Kang told him to make you feel at home and Geras takes his job seriously. -You nagged him a lot about the hourglass, making you take a small peak at it but he never let you close. -"You are too serious Geras, loosen up a little." "It's to compensate for your lack of rules." -You still have to warm up to each other…

Bi-Han: -He doesn't like you. AT ALL. -Bi-Han looks at you with a face dripping with scorn. Even if you are taller than him, he'll make you feel like an ant. -If you tease him too much he'll snap back and won't keep himself from hitting you. -But if you stroke his ego, promising him strength and glory… -As your brother told you "If you want men to do what you want stroke their ego and they will be at your feet." -He also did an analogy comparing the ego to a di- Okay I think the point is clear.

Kuai Liang: -He doesn't trust you, but if Liu Kang decided to keep you with them he won't oppose his decision. -Liang will often ask to train with you, mostly to test your skill level and eventually prepare for a future betrayal. -Also your lab will be often spied, checking if your experiments are safe and good for Earthrealm. -Till one day Liang found a small card on your desk "Train better your men, I could tell someone sneaked in the first time. Shirai Ryu won't last long otherwise." -He tightens the grip on the card, rolling it up before throwing it on the ground. -Liang was the only one that has been spying on you…

Tomas Vrbada: -He doesn't trust you immediately but he is one of the few to give you a chance. -Tomas won't be like a dog, following you around and completely trusting you, but he'll be one to bring you a hot beverage in cold winters when you are alone in your lab. -He answers wittily to your words and rarely he gets dejected. -"I suppose you won't survive in the Lin Kueis if you had a weak mind or if you are simply an idiot…" You whisper out, Tomas' ears catching your words anyway. "…You thought I was an idiot?" -You'd like to reply "Why the paste tense? I still do." but you decide to bite your tongue. You don't mind his company after all.

#mk x reader #mk1 x reader #mortal kombat x reader #mk headcanons #mk1 headcanons #mortal kombat headcanons #johnny cage #johnny cage x reader #kenshi takahashi #kenshi x reader #liu kang #liu kang x reader #geras #geras x reader #mk1 raiden #raiden x reader #kung lao #kung lao x reader #bi han #bi han x reader #kuai liang #kuai liang x reader #tomas vrbada #mk1 smoke #tomas x reader #smoke x reader

[reallyromealone]

May I request Leona K. x male reader? Reader is like Isabella Madrigal from Encanto. He is florokinetic, is beautiful and graceful in every way, and has a sass streak. Maybe just enemies to lovers? Thank you, and take your time!

Title: careful it's carnivorous

Pairing: Leona kingscholar x reader

Fandom: twisted wonderland

Warnings:

Notes:

☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️

Flowers.

Everywhere.

God Leona hated spring, it was when his least favorite classmate was fully... Himself.

Everyone knew (name), his floral magic was like nothing anyone had seen before and annoyingly perfect as he provided professor Crewel a flower he needed through magic.

"We will be pairing our all in groups of two, the names for each group are on the chart by the door" Crewel said simply as the class ended, each student going to check theit name on the list before leaving "oh you have to be kidding" (name) grumbled as he looked at the chart, his name was right beside the most insufferable person at this schools, Leona Kingscholar. "You better pull your weight!" (Name) seethed and Leona rolled his eyes "why don't you stop telling me what to do?" He drawled out with a catty smile, (name) fuming before storming off.

Leona grumbled as he walked into the greenhouse, (name) already gone to work at collecting things "couldn't you just magic the supplies? Or is your magic just good for making flowers" Leona said mockingly and (name) rolled his eyes "it would be unfair of us to do that, I'm not gonna cheat my way through this" now it was Leona's turn to roll his eyes as he looked at (name) "what are we even doing?"

"Luck potion" an extremely difficult potion, one mistake and they wouldn't even remotely have time to make a new one with its fermenting process.

"You think we can handle that?"

"If you stop lazing around, we absolutely could" (name) was self-assured, as always and Leona scoffed at him "god you're insufferable"

"I can't, I'm sorry" (name) said over the phone, it was known in the Pomefiore dorm that (name) had a complex relationship with his family, especially his grandmother who treated him like a trophy of sorts "I-im sorry, I have too many commitments here"

Another engagement offer.

He wasn't some bargaining chip.

After phone calls, he often found himself sitting in the greenhouse alone, frustration and hurt seeped through him as he let his composure slip, god he was just so done.

Being the eldest of seven, the responsibilities fell on him aways and he knew he made his grandma upset when he chose night ravens college over royal swords academy but he did it because he wanted this school, it had what he wanted.

Leona sighed as he walked through the halls of the academy, doing the patrols before bed when he saw a familiar figure walk towards the greenhouse "oh?" Well tonight was sure interesting to say the least, after all... "Wow, the perfect one breaking a rule? Isn't this funny" (name) turned to see Leona smirk down at him "just... Shut up" (name) whispered as he stood up "you can be cocky and shit but just... Shut up for once" (name) whispered as vines grew around the garden "can't you just leave me alone for once?"

"Wow, wheres the bite you usually have? Come on, pretty boy" Leona taunted and (name) felt his patience wear thin "can you just fuck off!" He yelled as cacti grew around them, the two stunned "you can grow those?"

"Apparently I can" (name)s grandmother always told him he could only grow flowers... "So why are you out here, little Mr. Perfect?" (Name)s mood shifted as he glared at him "oh shut up, you lazy ass!" He spat back and Leona grinned, there was the snarky flower boy he knew and hated "god you can't shit your trap! God if you could use that energy for being a shit maybe use it for our project!"

"And maybe you could stop being so annoying for once and I would actually want to do it!"

"Asshole!"

"Priss!"

And somehow, (name)s foul mood about his grandmother was gone as the two argued down the ball and a tiny cactus with two flowers on it sat in the greenhouse.

The following day, Leona grumbled as he felt vines grab his ankle "hurry up before I drag you!" (Name) said as he strutted down the hall, looking flawless as Leona glared but followed, other students admiring (name) as he passed and bloomed flower crowns on each of their heads.

"(Name)" malleus said softly, staring down (name) as he and Ace were leaving the lab "Malleus" (name) said coldly, leaning back when malleus got closer "absolutely not, we are not doing this again" (name) glared and waved a bunch of flowers at his face as he and Leona went into the lab, locking the door behind them "I know he's insufferable but what was that about?" Leona stretched and (name) rolled his eyes, taking out their supplies from the small lockers they reserved.

"My grandmother tried to have me engaged to him, malleus was all for it but I said no because god if I have to hear about gargoyles one more time..."

"He never shuts up about them, also how is it I manage to show up to things before him!" Leona fired back as they started the project, both talking heatedly about the fae prince.

It was the first time they agreed on something.

After that, their conversations were less hostile and Leona actually found himself enjoying (name)s company.

(Name) walked into the greenhouse later in the afternoon and saw Leona sleeping in a sun beam, rolling his eyes at this (name) grabbed a notebook he forgotten and went to walk out but before he did... "He's sleeping, he won't know" and like that a leaf grew right where the sun was hitting his eyes.

Only Leona was awake and was smirking as (name) clicked the door shut.

After that, working with (name) was far more tolerable, the two actually not going at each other much to everyones surprise and when something strange happens... Rumors start.

"Apparently, you and I are engaged because you blackmailed my family" (name) teased as he looked over the sleeping hybrid "really? I heard we had a passionate makeout session after you confessed to me with a bouquet of roses" Leona said back and the two chuckled at the nonsense that their classmates came up with as they focused on their work-- well (name) did, Leona relaxed in the corner.

Then his phone went off.

Again

And again

"Hello grandma, yes I did hear--- well I am not interested in him! So I'm not marrying him! I don't care if he's a good connection!" (Name) angrily hung up And Leona raised an eyebrow "she sounds like a bitch" Leona said simply and (name) sighed "she isn't the best" (name) mumbled "she wants me to marry someone so she can get up in the social latter... But I would rather eat glass then be with the people she offered me to"

"Who would you want?"

"Someone who isn't pretentious, not going to put me in a box and doesn't make me act perfect"

"Act?"

"You think I want to be like this? Perfect? Unable to make a mistake?"

He just wanted to garden.

And that is when Leona fell.

(Name) was awkward after the project finished, looking over at Leona who was about to fall asleep but took notice of (name)s slight deflation "come on rabbit food" Leona grumbled as he dragged a confused (name) "where are we going?"

"Don't worry about it princess" (name) looked offended at the nickname, he was a prince at least!

And that's when it happened, in a forgotten corner of the school.

A kiss.

"Still think you're an ass"

#twst x reader #twst leona #twisted wonderland x male reader #twisted wonderland x reader #leona x male reader #leona x reader #leona kingscholar #anime x male reader #anime x reader

[miracledarling]

if you feel stuck

intro

at some point, we may sometimes feel stuck when manifesting our desires. it sucks right bae?💔😞maybe we feel like giving up, or it wouldn't work for some reason. even after others succeed. maybe there is loss of hope. but the world is yours, remember? are you going to stay stuck and complain, or do you truly want your desires that you'd finally change yourself?

why we feel stuck

it sucks right? to read all these success stories and only wish to be the one writing them? to have tried all the techniques you seen on youtube, tiktok, tumblr, twitter, you name it. and still, you've been stuck in same place, same circumstances. only dreaming about your dream life. you're still the same, you didn't change yourself. you remained in square one because you didn't move. do you want it or not? do you have it or not? why are you complaining all day? who stopped you from getting what you want? who gives it to you in the first place? yourself.

how to get unstuck

before you continue, i need to remind you that it's no use to read through this post and then keep scrolling on tumblr without applying the law. because you'll just be trapped in the cycle. no matter how many posts you read, you aren't getting anywhere without applying.

work on self concept

the first thing you can do is to simply work on your self concept. why is self concept important? well self concept is the way you view yourself in the world. changing self concept changes you and everything about you. it changes what's around you. how you look, your abilities in manifesting, the way you're treated, etc. is self concept necessary? well no, you can manifest without doing it but self concept is very helpful to many. i'll make a self concept challenge soon but changing self concept is very easy. just become the desired version of yourself. you also do this by affirming self concept affirmations. you can also use different methods like visualising or sats but methods are optional of course.

take a break

another thing you could do is take short break from manifesting. sometimes we may experience burnout or feel exhausted and it's okay because wer're humans. so taking a break from manifesitng and taking your mind off of these worries can ease stress to help manifesting. but be sure to pick yourself back up afterwards and keep going.

keep persisting

sometimes our manifestation is right in front of us. we're so close and there is no reason to give up. perhaps it could happen if we just persisted for one more minute, so maybe you just need to keep going a little longer because it's working even if you don't quite expect it.

stop overconsuming, apply

seriously, take a moment to reflect on yourself. are you really applying? or are you just scrolling on tumblr again? did you really apply? did you actually even try or do you just affrim 5 times, check 3d, and read another blog post. overthink the law, get discouraged, complain about 3d. like stop right there, that isn't helping you. you should be applying, not reading all this stuff that you already know.

restart

i do not recommend doing this just because usually it would cause you to restart over and over again and repeat the cycle. however, if you've really been "manifesting" something for a long time and seeing nothing, then it may be time to compeltely restart. either revise it, or learn from the past mistake, and from now on apply the law. like actually apply. and do what works for you of course.

ending notes

remember that you create reality. it's the law of assumption. you're the only one who can change circumstance and you must make that decision. so take accountability, be disciplined, and reflect on yourself. don't look for success story for boost of dopamine. motivation don't help you until you truly apply. you must do before you feel motivated. applying comes before motivation. discipline is more important than motivation. ask yourself if you're applying, remind yourself you are limitless. all you gotta change is you 🤍

#loa #loassumption #law of assumption blog #law of attraction #law of assumption #lucky girl syndrome #neville goddard #manifesting tips #manifesting #manifestation #manifest #10k affirmations #affirm and persist #affirmations #sammy ingram #affirmdaily #self concept

[copperbadge]

Hello, Mr. Badge, I seem to remember that you once posted about your processes and systems for staying organized in life with Excel spreadsheets etc. I’ve been struggling a lot with depression and executive dysfunction issues and don’t want it to impact my work.

Do you use the same processes at work? I get overwhelmed with the amount of documentation we have and the exceptions to the rules in our processes.

I'm so sorry you're struggling! It's really rough, and the more complicated the task feels, the more fraught it seems, the harder it is to even get a start. I feel that hard.

As for organizing work like my home life....well, it's sort of the same. I don't make a strong distinction between life and work simply because a lot of what needs organizing in my life IS my work, so it's tough to talk about them separately.

For example, I use Google Tasks to build a to-do list each day, but that to-do list starts with "stuff I'll do before work" then "shower" then all my work stuff, then "evening" and then all the stuff to do after work, ending with "7pm chores" (because I have a lot of stuff to do right around 7pm, which I need to post about elsewhere). Then the stuff I've pushed off to next day is below that, and that just bumps up the next morning. What's important isn't really how I keep the list, but that I keep it in a way that is constantly accessible, and I've trained myself to 1. put everything on it, even stuff like "grocery shop" and 2. check it whenever I feel lost. I don't find google calendars very helpful, however, so while work makes me use one for meetings, everything else goes on a calendar I made in Google Sheets that I'm just super used to by now.

It sounds like you're having a fairly specific issue, which may not even be related to your mental health (though assuredly the mental health issues aren't helping). If you have a lot of confusing documentation and exceptions in the stuff you do at work, that can be legit stressful even for someone who isn't dealing with other stuff, so I just want you to know that this may not only be a You Problem. My problem is usually the opposite, in that I'm often the first person doing something, or the only person who's done it in a while, so there's no documentation at all. But when I do have documentation I often will simply rewrite it.

After all, just because you have a handbook doesn't mean you have to use it. You can copy it over into another document and make yourself a step-by-step guide and/or a checklist. Like, I do our holiday cards every year, and my "HOLIDAY CARDS" document says "Here's the first thing you do, here's the second, do this before going past that, check this before asking for that". Literally at one point the document says "Stop. Before you go any further, do this step. Even if you don't understand why, do this step" because in the past I've disregarded that instruction ("Why on earth would I do it this way?") and lived to regret it.

Making the guide really, really sucks. Often it will take me four or five passes at a project before my guide is comprehensive (this is my fifth year doing the holiday card project and the document still has some steps missing at the end). But once you have it, it's invaluable, and often in the past I've found other people want my guides because they're fairly clear and precise about what needs doing when. For example, you might say, "Open the file and move column B to in front of column A. NOTE: THERE IS ONE EXCEPTION, THIS IS THE EXCEPTION." Or "Once you've saved the file, save a second copy to your backup folder so you can go back to it if you delete something you shouldn't. Stop and check: is this file from before or after October? If after, remember, you have to also rename it." If you find that there's a mistake you make frequently, figure out what would stop you from making it and add that in.

(We had a guy at work whose last name was VERY long and Italian, and so when I was working phones he got a special entry in the directory document I made -- the first line was all his directory info and the second line was just the phonetic pronunciation of his last name. He found out, which I had never intended him to do, and lost his shit laughing. "No wonder you're the only one who gets it right!")

So my recommendation to you is to create your own handbook, your own templates, and your own way of doing things and just slip that back into the system you have at work. Draw a diagram by hand if you need a flow chart. My approach to all my organizational issues has always been "What would make me do this correctly / prevent me from doing that thing wrong / remind me what to do / make it easier for me to start".

I think of this nowadays as the "Take the cupboard doors off" school of organizing, because to really make full use of my kitchen in a way that I liked, I had to take some of the cupboard doors off. It looks messier and kind of cheap, but it's actually a much more organized system now, and who's in my kitchen other than me?

#sam has adhd #adhd #organizing

[kneelingshadowsalome]

the post about konig and tatoos got me thinking how would he react with his girl doing a full body waxing, since someone else needs to literally see all her body and """touch""" her to do that, and imagine if it's a man 😭

Just imagine König marching to the beauty salon (people are screaming) then simply barging in to the room where this guy trying to give you a wax oh my God 🥲

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen. König won't let you do whatever you want – not without checking the details first. Also: no male gynecologists. Like, none, EVER. (Lol what's wrong with this guy)

But....

now I'm thinking about König's reaction when you come home after a full body wax 👀 done by some innocent woman of course, someone who's a professional & would never have nasty thoughts and intentions towards you 💕

CW: Cunnilingus, edging, overall shameless behavior 18+

König is so, so curious. Of course he wants to inspect you!

He likes his women soft, but let's be honest: this man is happy with whatever you give him. He adores you and worships your body, waxed or not. He would never force you into such a thing (actually, he'd be happiest if you never left home...)

But now that you're suddenly even softer than usual – wait, you're silky smooth all over?? König just can't stop running his hands over your thighs, he can't stop staring at what's between your legs. Actually, he's admiring the view like it's the first time he's laid eyes on a woman.

And yep. He simply has to have a taste.

Long, savoured licks and starved moans ensue as he goes down to enjoy your silk. Better grab something sturdy to hold on to (yeah, why not him?) because this dude is not leaving his favorite place in a while. He will edge and edge and edge you until you cry and beg, because he loves seeing you like this: spread wide open, sweet and bare and so wet that the audible evidence of his treatment is downright sloppy.

Usually, he's a bit more rough, the constant high libido of this man making the sex a sweaty, needy business. But now... Now, he takes his sweet time. He's a different man, sampling you like you're the best cuisine he's ever tried.

You can trash on the bed, you can try to tug at his hair when he drives you to the edge but not over it. You can cry and whine and sob but he's not going to budge. Just when you open your mouth and say you're about to lose your mind, König gives you a sudden, straightforward compliment.

"I like this," he sighs on your pussy with his hand down his pants. And you shouldn't be surprised that he's stroking himself while lapping you. Guy hasn't even bothered to take his cock out – apparently, he's perfectly happy with the prospect of cumming inside his camos like the filthy dog that he is.

"So soft," he gives you another starved lick, "and wet…"

"König... Mh, I can't take it anymore," you moan and gasp on the sheets, your voice so needy and pathetic it could easily be mistaken for a sob.

"No? But I can," he rasps and continues the torment.

You're starting to think that the waxing was a terrible mistake. He's being mean, and for what? Just because you happen to look nice and feel soft.

Actually, König is the meanest man you know, always teasing and torturing you, always making your life hard and your pussy wet. The worst thing is that you can feel the stupid grin spreading on his lips.

"Look at you, little one... Am I being too mean?" He asks as if he can read minds as well. You don't know if the compassion in his voice is real or feigned, but he won't let you linger on that thought for too long. No: your attention falls back to the hot, determined mouth making love to you. His lips seal around your clit, and give you another soft, ample suck.

"Fu–ck," you whisper helplessly in the air.

A mistake... A big mistake.

König stops, now genuinely shocked.

"Such filth from my angel's mouth... Where have you learned words like that?"

"König, don't be ridicu—"

"I can't let you cum yet."

His declaration makes you want to scream. But you know better than that... There's nothing you can do but try to suppress the tears as he goes down on you once more, ensuring you get some more but never enough. You promise him you will never swear again, you babble and plead, but it's no use. König makes you promise it twice. Thrice.

By the time he finally does end your torture, your whole body is a quivering, overstimulated mess. You cum, wave after wave, riding on his tongue like there's nothing else in this world. You're pretty sure some of your brain cells have died during his treatment.

Yes, the waxing was either a terrible mistake or the most brilliant idea you've ever had... You can't really decide in your state of brainless euphoria. What you do know, however, is that König is a huge hypocrite: he always has to ruin the things he views as sweet and innocent and pretty. You're a mess, but not mess enough for him.

He cums on your poor, bare pussy with a few anxious faps – you can do nothing but lie there like a helpless maiden as the hot load lands on your soft skin and trickles over your sensitive clit.

It's downright laughable how he gathers you in his arms after such a shameless, greedy session. He even has the audacity to coo loving nonsense in your ear. He does all kinds of sweet things except clean you up.

When you whine about it, he says he will give his "sweet angel" a wash soon – no doubt wanting to carry you to the bathroom, bridal style, like the perfect gentleman.

#answered #yandere könig #könig smut #könig x you #fluffy nasty könig drabbles

[mrghostrat]

Hello!! I'm not new to writing but I am absolutely new to writing fanfiction and have been extremely nervous to even start doing that, do have any suggestions on where to start so I don't make it accidentally it's own story just using someone else's character names? ( I mean that in a sense of accidentally altering their personalities and other components that would be really important) Because chances are I probably won't notice while doing it and probably think it's fine. I'm really really bad at not noticing mistakes until it's too late to fix them but I have a fic idea that I think would be really cool and I don't know how to go about it without doing it terribly.

Here's a random pic I took this afternoon, I dunno just the way you describe scenes I figured you'd enjoy the atmosphere of it?

1. this picture is stunning, my god, it's giving me chills. so beautiful, thank you for sharing 👁️👁️

2, i think dialogue is probably one of the biggest components of characterisation, so linking back to canon dialogue can be a really helpful and easy way of keeping your characterisation in check. quite literally an exercise in "would he fucking say that?"

you've probably noticed how much i love using canonical lines from the show like this, even though i'm usually taking them out of their original context. as a reader, hearing dialogue in MS/DT's voices can be very grounding, and as a writer, it can keep you in line as you write their conversations.

i also like trying to create a parallel between events and decisions in my fic vs the canon. something tiny: in ATWS chapter 3, crowley orders takeaway and convinces aziraphale to get something too. in my initial plan, he was going to say no and wave crowley away/be a bit holier than thou, but when i made the takeaway food bbq ribs (like the ox rib), i realised it was literally aziracrow 101 for crowley to tempt him successfully into things, especially food. so i made aziraphale say yes, and simply act put out about it.

you'd think these kinds of parallels would be more important on a grander scale, but i like comparing every little decision to the canon, even if it's only for a moment, to think about how they'd act in that situation. it could be an entirely different universe but they can still be the same characters who make the same decisions as an angel and demon would.

3. a lot of people would say that it doesn't matter, that you can write whatever you want even if it's wholly out of character and just has their names attached to it. even though that's not the kind of fan fiction i like to read and write, it's still valid, and the most important thing is that you're having fun and being creative. basically, don't sweat it if it's not perfect.

#ask a rat #good omens #writing process

[90sbee]

Pull the rope, choke me with your love.

Leon S. Kennedy x Fem!Reader 6k words (yeah, sorry not sorry). Also on a03

It feels like coming back to the surface, you think. Leon breathes loudly, panting. He kisses each boob once more, tenderly, resembling a “goodbye”. You look at his motions with half-lidded eyes, and you’re unable to move your gaze away when he detaches from your body, his hand re-emerging from your cunt with traces of your dried blood on his skin. You gasp but Leon barely notices it, rubbing the maroon strokes against his tactical pants swiftly, without any complaint, as if simply getting rid of paint after handling a canvas.

Both of you choose to delay the mission. Maybe it is because there is a confession that you can’t delay anymore.

I guess this is what happens when you get horny in your period. @navstuffs saw it first. @emilzke, you'd say you'd read something like this so, in case you feel like it! (No pressure tho,  mean it!!) Content: Smut. Period sex. Everybody is a switch. (Sub!Leon my beloved). Sex with feelings bc the mutual pining is strong. There is some plot but like, it's mostly smut, ngl. No use of y/n, tons of pet names. Stupid banter, age difference. DI!Leon specifically since I don't think any other version works? Hints of size kink, as usual. Coming in pants. Dry humping (sorry not sorry there is no actual penetration in here. They do have a good time tho. Multiple good times). Warnings: +18 ONLY. Have I already mentioned blood? Yeah, it's not that bloody tho, I promise. Hair pulling, crying during sex (i promise Leon was enjoying it, tho, no dorks were hurt in the writing of this fic), mentions of choking but no actual choking in here. Biting, scratching? I'm not a native English speaker so, apologies for any mistakes.

Being around Leon always felt like pulling a rope, the material tense, and tense, until letting go of the rope would cause you two to be hurt.

Oh, but what a delightful way to go that would be.

Missions with him would be easy. Well, as easy as putting your life on the line can be. His presence was always a blessing, a protective wall of a man always up to keep you safe. And he did it, numerous times he received cuts, and got bruises on his skin, and once even let his bicep —that one that he would always touch obsessively since then— kiss a bullet, everything to keep you safe.

Even out of missions, Leon was there. He would remain close, check on you. “Gotta make sure my partner is alright,” he’d say, and the way he’d accentuate his words would get you dizzy at times.

The rope felt more like a red string now.

Caging you, his warm body on top of yours now, barely attempting to remain prude.

“You’re gonna freeze to death,” he had said, closing the distance between you two. The whole mission today had been a fiasco, even if Leon had been eyeing you more intensely than other times, stepping closer, more protective than usual. It had actually been his idea to turn back when it became glaringly obvious that infiltrating into the building would take more hours than you had planned. Retracing steps, radioing for back-up that would take until the very next morning to show up with more ammo, and finishing with the directions to a nearby safe house, which was sadly devoid of anything helpful to endure a fall night like this. “Don’t worry, they say body heat is actually the best heater,” he’d teased you, as you buttoned up your light jacket. But when he’d actually pushed you onto the ground and clumsily climbed on top of you, you knew he was serious. And though it wasn’t the first time you two had ended up so close, bodies tangling in each other, it was the first time he seemed so devoted to get that physical contact.

You let him have that. The night is not that chilly, the morning is not so far away. In the bleak, scarce space of the cabin, there aren’t many options. Sure, you could spend the night talking yourselves awake, back to back. Or maybe one of you could rest their head on the other’s lap as the other keeps a lazy guard.

But you choose to be close. Fucking close, breathing in each others’ faces. You know by now that the rope is about to cut, that you’re going to end up crossing the limits, but for now, there is no stopping. In the secluded safe house, you let Leon breathe close to your ear, pretend you don’t realize what he may need. After all, you followed him way too compliant today, no ifs or buts about delaying the mission, resting your head against his shoulder as he radioed for the damned helicopter, letting your hand graze his on the way to the cabin.

Maybe neither of you want to wait anymore for the rope to break on its own.

“You okay?”

He sighs then. Brows furrowed as he nods, his expression serious.

“Yeah,” his voice is raspy, a lingering exhaustion dripping from his words. “Just wished we could have finished with this already…”

Your hands swiftly move to his back, fingers rubbing softly over the thin material of his jacket. Leon melts a little at that, breathing against your face. A soft growl escapes his throat when your hands move higher, pressing against the muscles of his shoulders.

At that, he does seem to feel a bit flustered, looking to the side, towards the rusty cabin door. You attempt to hide the chuckle that leaves your mouth.

“What’s so funny?” He snarks, his cheeks already pinker.

“You’re literally a whore, Kennedy.”

“Jeez,” he raises his eyebrows, finally looks back at you. “You’re being an absolute darling tonight, huh… ” he muses, a smirk crossing his face.

“It’s your fault. You’re the one that decided to get on top of me, unprompted.”

“… C’mon. You know we didn’t bring any camping equipment for this crap…  Just lemme take care of you.”

His explanation is, of course, true, but teasing him seems like a better pastime for this chilly night. “Well, still. I’m a lady with boundaries. Maybe I do not want a sweaty man on top of me.”

“Excuse me?” Leon licks his lips, his face leaning a little closer to yours now. “I’m not just a sweaty man, I’m your mission partner.”

“Yeah, my mission partner that decided to moan after I just massaged his back a little.”

“God, I did not moan,” he puffs out his cheeks, shaking his head.

“Well, maybe you should.”

A silence rings through the cabin as soon as you utter those words. Much to your surprise, but not regretting them. Leon stares at you, gaze unreadable as he tilts his head. You begin to feel a little nervous, your hands slowly abandoning his back.

Why would you even admit it that way? Too straightforward, too blunt. Yes, he is your mission partner, he’s got your back all these years but… What if it was just that? A good partner at work. Simply a kind man. The possibility of having confused his chivalry with affection makes you feel stupid.

You suddenly feel small under him, and you gulp, trying to squirm away from him.

“Wait, no. What did—what did you say?” He finally reacts, one of his hands cupping your cheek now.

“Nuthin’.”

“Didn’t sound like nuthin’ to me,” he presses.

Leon looks at you, and there is a new glimmer in his eyes. A certain hunger, encompassing his words and his presence. It invigorates you with a sort of bravery, and you nod, very slowly, your eyes not even leaving his. Your hands go back to their place, on his back, but this time under the jacket, under the grey t-shirt he is wearing. You observe his reaction, as a little prey seeing how much she can test the waters before death comes upon her.

His gaze moves away from your eyes, lower, until it reaches your lips. And then your hands ascend on the skin of his back, scratching slowly.

“F—fuck,” is the only thing he can manage out before his lips descend onto yours, kissing clumsily, biting the tender flesh with desperation.

The rope has fucking snapped now. You both know it. And it stings, but the burn is good, so fucking good, as his teeth bite harder, as if eager to make your lips bleed.

“Since… since when?” He demands, catching his breath.

“Don’t be fucking stupid. Since always,” you reply, kissing him once more, already missing the taste of his spit, the roughness of his mouth.

It’s as if oxygen was running out of the room, mind dizzy with him, his smell, his hands now attempting to reach under your t-shirt, but you move away, mouths parting for a moment. Leon stops, a question in his eyes. He knows you. He knows the way you react, can notice that he hasn’t overstepped anything, that your trembling figure is still comfortable under him.

“Just… you. Lemme… lemme touch you,” you try to explain, in a daze, hands now gripping his hips, and he groans against your ear. You take off his jacket, strong arms getting caressed while you do so. Leon breathes heavily as your fingers dance on his jaw, as your mouth licks his neck.

“Shit,” he lets out, every single pleasure point in his body reacting to your actions.

God, he has wanted you for so long. Trapped between his job and the impossibility to properly care for you, to have you in the way he actually desired you, he had promised himself to protect you. In and out of missions, a shadow always behind you. If he would have nothing else in his life, so be it. Just your presence would be enough. His heart is thumping, rattling loudly in his chest as the woman he’s adored for so long presses her affections on his skin.

He moans louder, hides his face against your shoulder. Lower, his cock twitches, rapidly filling up with desire.

“C’mon… Grind on me, Leon,” you murmur, words sweet as a spell.

God, if this was a dream he’d never want to wake up. And if he had somehow died, this was better than any Heaven he could have imagined.

“What are y—are you fucking serious?” He tries to inquire through heavy breaths, already losing his mind. It doesn’t even cross his mind if you would want to go further, if he could sink deep inside you, but rather, his brain is mush from just the idea of having you like this. Fuck it, your invitation sounds like a blessing to him.

“Please… You’re so good to me…” you add, needy.

He growls again, but in the way a wounded animal tries to scare its hunter away. He is fucking broken, deliriously split apart into a thousand pieces because of you. At your feet, drunk in your smell and your minx-like hands.

You move your pelvis, legs interlocking around his hips, the feel of your cargo pants against the hardness between his legs making you whine.

God damn. He is already hard anyway.

Leon obliges, as if enchanted by you, unable to refuse such a delicious proposal. Your hips move in tandem with his, and his hard cock aches in his pants, grinding slowly against your clothed cunt.

“Fuck,” he whines out, as your fingers then graze the skin on his back once more, deliriously making him lose his mind. “Gonna kill me, huh?”

You bite his jaw once more, wetness pooling between your legs with every moment. It is funny, how hours before the dark cabin seemed to be a cold refuge, yet now it seems to ooze warmth, sweaty bodies full of desire.

And though this Heaven seems way more than a man like him could bargain for in a hundred lives of sainthood, Leon breathes heavily, suddenly aware that this might be wrong. It might be, since you’re younger than him, and he has been your mission partner and you two work together and mission partners cannot be involved and—

“No, we—we shouldn’t…” he stills himself then, voice heavy.

You look up at him, gentle eyes blessing him from underneath his body.

God. You look so beautiful and his heart is gonna jump out of his chest and he wants to continue but you will surely agree, right? You’re too young, too soft of a creature for someone so broken like him and—

“Why?” you caress his back slowly, tilting your head.

The openness of the question throws him off his mind.

“Well, we… I mean… I…”

“We can stop if you need it,” you quickly add, nodding. You want him, yeah, but most importantly, you respect him. It is the least he has earned, after all his loyalty throughout the years.

He gulps, and shakes his head.

“No, I do want it… I just—” Leon huffs, licking his lips, still in disbelief.

“Leon… I want you. Been waiting for this… Been craving you,” you try to explain it in devotion terms, a language you’ve both shared for a while. He seems more relaxed at this, and hides his face on the crook of your neck, his breathing steadier as you stroke his back.

“I promise… Promise it’s not just about…” he begins, but you nod.

“… I know. I mean… I imagined so,” you admit, belly heating up not just from his weight on top of yours.

A confession.

He stays quiet for a moment, arms flexing as he changes his position, lets himself fall a little closer to you. It’s clear he won’t ask for it again, but god, you do want to give it to him. Boner already needy, body too vulnerable to be left like this.

Once more, you do it for him. Move your hips gently, chasing the pressure he provides against your cunt. Leon then moans, kissing your neck.

“I… I can?” he asks, tentatively.

“Yes, please.”

He won’t ask more, no need to ask twice. Though his brain may be hazy and overwhelmed by your perfume, he knows nothing could compel him to stop this, not now that he knows you want him.

Your hands return to his back, scratching the skin harshly, noticing how his breath hitches.

“Oh, god,” he coos, closing his eyes. His pelvis dancing harder against yours, movements faster.

Leon finds your mouth once again, trying to kiss his shame away since he already feels so close. In between the fact that he hadn’t had sex in a long while and the fact that, heck, it’s you… He is trying his hardest to stretch the moment, to not ruin it already…

But you do notice it, of course. When you pull apart one of your hands goes to his jaw, forcing him to look at you.

“Leon.”

“Fuc—yeah?”

“Ask me… ask me for anything you want… You deserve to feel good.”

He fucking growls at that, so entranced by your words. His hips suddenly stopping for a moment, his heartbeat accelerating.

He has almost come.

“Pull my hair, please,” he breathes out after he is sure he can continue for a bit more.

Swiftly, your hand moves to his hair, grabbing a strand at the back, near his nape and pull hard.

“Oh, fuck,” his movements are faster now, cock rubbing too harshly against his underwear and his pants but he needs it, needs you so much. You pull his hair once more, your other hand clawing at his back as you also grind against him, the spot between your legs already dampened.

The sensation feels like too much and not enough at once. It hurts from how sensitive his member is, rubbing himself raw against your legs, but oh god. You offer him the hottest sight he has had the pleasure of witnessing in his life.

He presses his face against your neck once more, panting next to your ear, unaware that he is painting your skin with his own tears.

“Gonna come… Fuck, gonna come,” he cries out, moving faster and at some point you grind against him too, pressure becoming too much as you pull his hair and, fuck.

His elbows almost give up, unable to hold himself properly on top of you, but he avoids crushing you with all his weight still, as he rides out his orgasm, now tasting the salty tears he had spilt.

Leon breathes heavily… but he doesn’t want to stop.

Quickly, his mouth sinks on your neck, kissing and biting, causing moans to leave your throat.

“Le—Leon,” you pant, body sensitive and wetness already ruining your pants.

“Need to touch you… please? Need to taste you…” he begs, and one of his hands goes to your belt, buckle released as he nears your zipper…

You groan then, in frustration, and he frowns, gaze back on your eyes.

“What is it?”

“I’m… I’m on my period,” you admit, barely a whisper.

You look at him, shame crossing your features, the bitter reminder that your body may have ruined the moment that you have dreamed about for so long. “Sorry,” you add, voice timid.

“Hey, no, no apologies,” he immediately coos, his hand travelling to cup your cheek. He looks at you with an immense softness from his glistening eyes, full of love. Leon sighs before moving forward, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“Would you like to stop?” He asks, close to your mouth.

Your thoughts are hazy, body still churning from inside. It’s clear that you don’t want that option but you’re unsure on how to proceed under this situation.

Leon rests his forehead against you, his face awaiting for your reply. There is no rush in his tone, quite the opposite in fact. He looks at you as if willing to stare at you for his whole life, existence content with just the sight of you. That gives you more confidence, even with the threat of uncertainty on the horizon: you trust him. You trust him more than anyone else.

You shake your head.

“Good girl,” he praises you. “I’ll just make you feel good, take care of you, okay?”

His voice is raspy, but soft, resembling his touch. A little harsh, a little rough as he pulls the zipper down and wriggles your pants down. Yet the pads of his fingers are exquisitely tender, caressing your thighs. Your underwear sports a huge damp spot just in your gusset, but Leon seems blissfully willing to ignore it, even through your heavy breaths.

He moves lower, pulls your t-shirt up slowly, immediately kissing the flesh of your hips.

“Fuck,” you mutter, curving your back.

“Attagirl,” he moves to kiss the other hip, biting slowly.

You moan then, skin shivering under his motions, his touch.

“… You’re teasing.”

Leon chuckles, kissing near your navel as he rubs your sides and your arms.

“You know, I don’t hear you complaining, though.”

Ah, he is acting cocky now. You giggle, amused at his remark, while one of his hands rubs your inner thigh.

“Bet you’re so frustrated that you can’t touch more,” you shake your head, looking down at him.

“Who said I can’t touch more?” Leon says, raising his eyebrow.

“Wh—Oh,” you try to ask what he has in mind when he swiftly moves his hand straight to your cunt, rubbing your clit over your panties. “F—fuck.”

The sonofabitch… You close your eyes, body slowly tensing under his touch. Leon rubs a little faster for a moment, and you move your hips, breath hitching in your throat.

“This okay, baby?” he checks, motions slower and gentler.

“Yeah… Yeah,” you open your eyes, nodding. He looks up at you, places a kiss on your belly once more. Your hand moves to tangle in his hair, needing something to ground yourself before you get lost in him.

“I got you, I got you,” he says, gentle, so fucking gentle you could melt in his hands, as snow under a strong relentless midday sun. You sigh, trying not to overthink your situation, how at any point your body could embarrass you, end up staining your panties with blood or…

“You’re nervous,” Leon says, serious.

“I’m not,” but your voice is a little shaky.

He snarks. “Can’t make you come unless you relax… Do you trust me?” Leon moves closer, leaning forward, almost against your face once more though he never stops rubbing your clit. The motions make you delirious, contact too soft but so good… You mewl, dizzy.

“I do. I trust you.”

“Good,” he remarks, and he kisses you. You notice his hand moving from your panties to your back, his mouth biting your lips with delicacy as Leon unclasps your bra. You whine at that, but he keeps on kissing you, his presence overtly strong and reassuring on top of you. Yet he doesn’t feel overwhelming, but rather, comforting. Like a wall against which to rest, like a pouring rain after a dry summer.

You think you love him. You’re quite sure you did before, but when he moves his mouth lower, biting your jaw and licking your neck as his thumb gets lost under your panties, you’re certain that no man could ever own you in the way he does. Handling your body with the most utter softness, as if dealing with a piece of Heaven. His thumb dances between your legs, stopping just on your clit, and Leon starts circling it, again, and again, and again…

“Oh, shit,” you moan, your heartbeat racing. You can barely keep your eyes open, overwhelmed by his devotion. His touch is desperate, even more heightened by how much he licks your neck, kisses it.

“Doll, look at me,” his words are heavy and clingy.

“Ye—Yeah?” you feel so utterly broken already. Leon moves his thumb faster, the circles making you moan once more.

“Want to use my mouth, can I? Please?”

By now you don’t know what he means, but you immediately nod. Like you’d do during missions, when you would simply take a leap of faith, you let yourself jump with him, letting him guide you to wherever he deems more appropriate.

You already trust him with your life. What difference could this make?

“God… so gorgeous,” he beckons, more to himself than to you, smiling. He quickly moves your t-shirt and bra out of the way, before diving his mouth to your breasts. There, he licks, and kisses, tongue painting your nipples with his saliva, as if blessing your body with his sin, letting you shower in his desire.

“Fuck, Leon…”

He continues moving his thumb gently, and you’re about to moan when you feel his middle and ring finger dancing on your lips, toying with your entrance. “Shit” more of a complaint, your tone raspy. His thumb presses harder against your clit as the other couple of fingers keep the sweet motions, never diving inside you. The thought of him probably getting his fingers messed up with your blood crosses your mind, but then Leon bites your nipple, before lovingly pulling it between his teeth. His thumb is now moving faster, circles rougher on your most sensitive spot, as the other fingers keep teasing your opening.

Your moans are the loudest symphony filling up the room, mixed in with the way he whines, mouth obsessed with your breasts. You curl your back, your hips getting hazy and desperate as Leon increases the speed of his movements.

You wished you knew which good deed you committed in another life to be blessed in this way now. As careful as possible, you grab onto him, as your hips are now dancing against his thumb, chasing after his touch. You’re half-breathless by now. You scratch his back, his arms, sink your nails into his nape as he bites the other nipple, sucking it harshly.

“Gonna come, God….” you whine out, thighs trembling under him.

“Good… Please, come for me,” his tone is the farthest thing from a command, but it seems to drive you exactly there. The way he desires you, desires this so fucking intensely… The heat in your stomach sweeps away with everything as he licks around your nipple and his finger toys with your clit once more. You melt under his touch, coming obscenely loud for him.

And the worst thing is that he continues, his mouth hungry still, his fingers circling, rubbing up and down your abused flesh, until you cough under him, unable to whimper anymore.

“It’s… Need a pause,” you let out, barely able to utter words yet.

It feels like coming back to the surface, you think. Leon breathes loudly, panting. He kisses each boob once more, tenderly, resembling a “goodbye”. You look at his motions with half-lidded eyes, and you’re unable to move your gaze away when he detaches from your body, his hand re-emerging from your cunt with traces of your dried blood on his skin. You gasp but Leon barely notices it, rubbing the maroon strokes against his tactical pants swiftly, without any complaint, as if simply getting rid of paint after handling a canvas.

He doesn’t fucking care. A man used to dealing with death, and grim and pain. It’s not the first time that he’s felt the warmth of your blood, as he has patched you up after the most gruesome missions, as he has held your bloody hand after you cut it with a sharp glass at home. He doesn’t fucking care, but rather he feels relieved, the comfortable knowledge that, this time, the blood has nothing to do with you being hurt. This time your blood doesn’t feel like knives digging into his skin, him boiling with concern. It’s just a warm reminder that you’re safe, and alive, and that he is finally touching you in the place where’s imagined himself drowned with you a hundred times already.

This is real. Leon is not dreaming, not this time.

You breathe out, calmer, his gaze feeling like returning home.

You’re still catching your breath when he leans closer, kissing your forehead.

“You okay?” he mumbles out, concern in his tone.

“More than okay,” you smirk.

Leon chuckles, amused. He lets his body fall on top of yours, still in between your legs, and he searches for your hand: takes it in his, the thumb that so much pleasure had brought you now caressing your palm.

“Babe…” his voice is sultry, and as he moves your thighs open with his own, you immediately notice the hardness pressing against your leg. Still, the contact seems too much for him, and he whimpers against your neck, his actions devoid of any shame.

“Damn, Kennedy, again?” you tease under him, cheeky stare defying him as he looks at you.

“Mhmh,” he replies. “I understand if you don’t want me inside, but…”

You cut him off with a wheeze. “Fucking subtle you are.”

“Hey, you want me to be fucking explicit?”

“Sure, let’s hear it, big guy,” you hold his hand tighter, as if prompting him to attempt anything, but immediately his cheeks go a few shades pinker. “Ow, getting shy on me?”

“You’re being fucking cocky for someone who just had an orgasm. Maybe I should give you another one to see if you calm down,” he lets out, eyes deeply boring into yours.

“Is that the special treatment you give to the ladies you sleep with, huh?”

“No, just you,” he replies, gallant.

You can’t say you don’t want it. Leon kisses you again, his tongue licking your lips and you moan for him. He squeezes your hand as his other hand goes between your bodies, to his zipper. You can barely notice the belt unbuckled, the zipper falling down. He bites your lower lip and maneuvers his pelvis closer to yours.

Fuck it. He just wants you. Whatever the duration of that miracle is, he wants to enjoy it, to pleasure you again, to be as close as the moment allows it. Even if this was the last time in his life he has you, he would commit this sight —of you under him— to memory.

He loves you: wants to get you drunk on him, on his body. A silent conjuring, a way to win you over. Because God knows you have him wrapped around your finger, red string of yours choking him as he devours that notion, of being owned. A fucking dog on a leash, and even if that was just a mere strained rope, he’d paint it red with your blood, force all heavens and hells to make you two work, intertwined by the same unbreakable bond.

The cabin feels suffocating. Leon kisses your neck, murmurs praises against your skin. It is overwhelming, and gentle, and so much and he hasn’t even started yet. Sighing next to your cheek, he grabs your thigh, pulling your pants even lower, adjusting his covered boner just against your cunt, and your breath hitches in your throat.

“Oh, God,” you let out, squeezing his hand even harder, since he hasn’t let go of you. It is an anchor as you experience this, as the cold breeze that enters the room kisses your nipples.

“You’re still with me? I can go gentle. Just want us to feel good, won’t ask for anything more,” he asks, moving his hips slowly against you, contact electrifying even if you’re both still wearing your underwear. You nod, eagerly, and he sinks his body closer once more. You grip onto his shoulders bringing him even closer as his hips slowly dance against you.

By now, all concerns, all fears are simply gone. In the humble little moment that you’re both sharing, there is no place for anything else apart from the devotion you hold for each other. Leon kisses you, needy, as his member rubs against your clothed clit, and his mouth seems to replicate his needs, with how delirious his tongue makes you feel.

“Fuck, Leon,” you mewl, mouths parting just to breathe once more. He smirks, his eager mouth kissing your jaw, your neck.

“You don’t know how long I have waited for… for this. For you,” and the way he says it gives you goosebumps that have nothing to do with the cold air that enters the cabin.

“Leon…” you pull him closer, as close as he can be. His body is practically on top of yours, his member rubbing faster against you.

“Mine,” he asserts, remarking his words with another squeeze of his hand. The other one grabs your thigh, opens your legs more so he can lock himself even closer, grinding harder.

The air makes him dizzy, the sight of your willing body under him gets his heart wild. Fucking hell, he has already came in his pants once, is he gonna do it once more just from humping your cunt? Leon whines, the feel of your hard nipples against his t-shirt making him lose his mind. And when you touch his back again, just like earlier, he moans.

He doesn’t care what happens to this mission, doesn’t care what happens to the rest of the evils of this world as long as he can see your precious face like this, as much as he desires it. This thought pushes him forward, and he starts to move his hips faster.

“God, god, oh, shit, Le…” you whine out, his motions rough as he chases his own pleasure too. But it feels so good, even if it hurts a little, even if your soaked panties do nothing to protect your decency by now, even if period droplets are probably leaking out of your panties.

You don’t want it to ever stop. Desperate, you let your hand go from his grip and hold him against your body with abandon, fingers directly against his skin, keeping him there. Leon growls at this, understand your needs and humps you faster, biting your neck, half-breathless.

It’s such a stark contrast to the way you two always treat each other, both on the field and on your day to day. It as if now that the veil is gone, that everything has fucking snapped, there was a certain aggressiveness that needed to be let out, that was always under the surface, ramping up, eager to crawl out of you. But it’s also full of passion, as his teeth never mark you too much, and your nails don’t draw blood from his skin.

Maybe you two needed this: a love that was a little broken, a little violent. A tender purging of your sins.

A connection born out of loyalty, out of blood.

You moan loudly when his movements get messy, rhythm getting distracted.

“Please, hold it in for me?” you beg, unable to ignore the signals of his desire. “Just a little bit” you add, knowing that you just need his rough touch for a moment longer, your body still craving his magic.

Leon nods, panting.

“I’m gonna—gonna come soon,” he warns you, trying to not let his cock ruin the path of euphoria he wants you to walk.

“It’s okay, me too, Le.”

“…Fuck,” he whimpers, and you pull his hair once more, your legs hugging his hips.

His thoughts are all mush thanks to you, but he can still hear how the sweetest moans escape your mouth, so he keeps going. Too sensitive, too hard, underwear soaked, but he continues for you. At some point his member rubs against your clit, harshly, and it is too much for you.

You kiss him, moaning into his mouth as you come, panties gushing out your juices and even some more specks of blood. Your whole body spasming, unable to keep quiet.

God. His pretty angel, his pretty girl, the most deserving of eternal springs and of the most devoted love. Leon has always felt you owned him. Not trapped, but rather at peace with you. Fuck, he is certain now. You carry a fucking leash, tied around his neck and he has no choice but to follow you, stay beside you. Both a shadow and a lover, stupid smitten dog but he wants to guard you forever.

He has wanted to hung up the Moon for you since the moment he met you, so when he finally sees your blissed-out expression, the moonlight caressing your face, he feel like he deserves it.

Not just this. But you.

His cock is leaking precum, it aches, needs to let go. He pushes harder, knows that he can, because you let him, because you scratch his back and search for his mouth as he grinds harshly against you.

He comes. Hard, pouring his seed onto his boxers.

It’s as if he could die now.

Both of you sigh, slowly. Leon kisses the bitemarks on your neck, you press the pads of your fingers gently against all the scratches on his back. For a little moment, the world doesn’t breathe. Just lets the two lovers that have finally found each other revere in this contained breath.

All that needed to be said, to be done, to be pinched and purged and snapped, it’s finally out.

You caress Leon’s jaw, look at him through sleepy eyes.

“I think… Think mission partners don’t do that,” you say, voice raspy but a smile etched on your face.

Leon smiles as well, his heart overjoyed.

“Nope, they definitely don’t,” he replies, his eyes never leaving yours.

You chuckle.

“You’re okay?” You ask him, cupping his cheek and Leon closes his eyes, sighs.

“I should be asking you that, baby.”

You now have the decency to blush at the pet name. And when he opens his eyes, and kisses your palm, you feel like your chest could explode from holding so much light inside of it. Oh, he could call you anything and you’d just let him. He owns you. You’re pretty sure he does, that he painted his name with your blood on your cunt, a bloody and tender signature, marking you as his artwork, ruining you with his cum for anyone else.

“Is that pet name gonna stay?”

“Do you have any other ideas?” He asks, moving to stand up, but you giggle and pull him closer to you, your legs still holding him down. Leon wheezes.

“We can discuss pet names and the such after… a date. ‘Cos you owe me a date, Kennedy.”

“Oh, we’re really back to last names, now? Dang it,” he lets out, and you can only laugh.

He is a fucking dork. Always will be. Maybe what will be different from now onwards is that he will be yours.

That night you fall asleep in each other’s arms. Your underwear has been irreparably stained, his boxers as well, the zipper of his tactical pants does not zip up anymore. A constellation of lovebites, scratches and the remains of your period. All bloody and needy and most delicately violent.

Too rough. Too honeyed to survive you both.

Leon hugs you tightly in his arms, comfortably cuddling as if it isn’t the first time.

Maybe your bodies dreamed so much of this day that they both instinctively know how to position arms, how to tangle into each other as to breathe the other in.

Maybe no string was snapped tonight, but rather, you pulled it so much, that it sank deeper into your veins and just pulled you two impossibly closer.

If you've made it to the end, cookies for you! Also, may write more for this two, I liked the dynamic a lot. (I love soft dorky Leon, can you tell?)

#x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon s. kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy fluff #nsft #mdni divider and #divider by #@/cafekitsune #support banner by #@/vase-of-lilies #mine #writer bee

[satorubrain]

I heard you were taking requests? I was thinking what if Gojo was dating someone who idolized him and how much of a cocky shit he would be about it. He would love having someone who loved him more than anything, for all of his quirks. But he lets it go to his head

Changes.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader.

Tags: Fluff at start, angst no comfort at end, slightly toxic gojo, toxic relationship.

A/N: ANONNN THE ANGST POTENTIAL MADE ME DIZZY I LOVE YOUR BRAIN

You love Satoru with all your heart for all his quirks and all his flaws. You are simply in love with his entire being. You wish he never changes. And oh lord how he loves you just because he's him, not because he's the strongest or the most charming but just because he's Satoru. Your Satoru.

Ever since you joined Jujutsu High as a sorcerer teacher you and Satoru hit off pretty well mainly due to how easily he won your heart. How could you not fall for him when he was the perfect distraction- making his co-worker laugh whenever he noticed any signs of distress, overhearing his stupid jokes with his students, finding out how he was simply the most straightforward guy who wasn't the type to beat around the bush and talk his mind and how he carried the burdens of humanity while maintaining a heart kind and humane enough.

You were simply enamored by his presence itself. You had fallen hopelessly in love with him.

At first, unfortunately, he simply thought of you as someone who perhaps is swooning over his good look or his strength. But he's not a fool. He quickly finds out, perhaps before you do, your feelings for him are genuine.

Noticing how your face lights up when he cracks up a joke, hearing a soft giggle from afar when he's being dramatic with his students or annoying someone in public, complimenting him when he talks back to the higher-ups and bitching about how nasty everyone is- which either leads to how you should prank some higher-up or how you must prepare the future generations, giving him a high-figh when either of you takes down a curse in mere seconds.

He, himself, can't help falling in love when there's someone out there who not just accepts but loves his entire being. Especially when you love him but also the one under his facade, comparing him to the sun. Defending his antics made him look at you with heart eyes. Checking up on him, multiple times a day- asking about his mood, his day, and how he is feeling as if it's only normal to ask- made his heart flutter. He couldn't help but feel loved which made him fall for you even harder.

Oh you had struck his heart and he didn't waste time, making you his.

You both were each other's ride-or-die, partners in crime, and possibly a nightmare for most.

It was no surprise to the people that you ended up together- most of them had known the outcome since the start. But much to their dismay, ever since you both started dating his antics seemed to have skyrocketed and they were doubled.

Satoru was now spoiled. Thanks for your love and unconditional support. But oh how much loved flaunting you and showing off the fact how much you loved him. You made him feel like he's floating in the clouds.

And perhaps he flew too far away.

You couldn't help but notice how his mannerisms slightly changed. How now he seemed to be overstepping people's boundaries more than usual- maybe it was him being unnecessarily rude and not realizing it? Maybe he made a silly enough mistake for him which seemed like a great deal to the other person? Maybe he was getting ridiculously insensitive?

"Satoru, don't you think you are doing it too much? Maybe you should apologize." you suggest, wanting to help him correct his mistakes.

"Hah?" he scoffs. "Babe, seriously? I didn't even say anything!! That person was only being overly sensitive, cmon nowww" he whines, jokingly.

You try to correct him and he snaps back.

The once small bickerings you used to have turned into hurtful screaming competition over the past 2 months and now you're sick of it, having a full-blown argument in the middle of both of your shared living room with a person you wholly loved.

"You're being dramatic and insecure, didn't you LOVE how confident I am? And be proud of me?" He accuses while slightly mocking your affections for him.

"THAT WOMAN WAS ALL OVER YOU DID NOTHING TO PREVENT THAT? AND I'M THE ONE THAT'S DRAMATIC AND INSECURE?? Oh my god Satoru, you've gone fucking blind and stupid" you sigh knowing there's absolutely no way to get your point across the nasty skin he has developed.

Unwilling to stretch the argument any further, you flounced to your shared bedroom quickly finding your bags before packing in your belongings.

"Cmon now, no way you're leaving over such a stupid thing." He snickered, wanting you to somehow stop you from leaving, blocking the exit of your once shared bedroom. He realized his foolish use of terrible wordings once you coldly glared at him as tears flowed down your red eyes. The stare was so foreign to him, it numbed his senses momentarily before he heard the loud zipping of the bag.

Before he was allowed to react, you pushed him aside as you stormed outside through the main door with a loud slam of it being shut closed.

The loud slam was almost like a slap to reality. As the moments pass by he feels his insides feeling weird and this is when he realizes that now he's falling to the cold hard ground. And there would be no you to soften the impact.

You still love Satoru with all your heart but no longer for all his quirks and all his flaws. But you are simply not in love with a stranger. You wish he never changed but he did. And oh no how he forgot how much he loves you just because he flew to a new place. Though now, he's no longer your Satoru like he wishes.

This was so fun for me to write but i hope you enjoyed it 🫶

Maybe I'll write pt 2 (mainly cuz i wanna make satoru suffer even more) if someone requests it or I don't forget

[REQUESTS ARE OPEN]

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo imagine #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #satoru x reader #gojo x you #gojo fluff #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x reader #gojo fanfic #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru angst #gojo angst #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk angst #jjk fluff #jjk imagines #changes series

[tyliiia]

my first time writing here, but I thought I could share my little gojo brain rot since I haven't moved on from the leaks ╥_╥ also english is not my first language so if there are any spelling mistakes or anything, I am sorry.

(inspired by ariana's 'goodnight n go'; also don't know if anyone already had this idea but I had to write this out for the sake of my mental health lmao)

content: gn! reader, fluff teeth rotting fluff, mentions of alcohol, suggestive talk (mentions of gojo being horny for the reader), pet names, intentional lowercase

"tell me why you gotta look at me that way you know what it does to me so baby, what you tryna say?”

it's usual for everyone to see gojo as someone with no sense of private space. an idiot that invades your space and always flirts with people unashamedly.

one day, when you called him out for it, he simply shrugged and said 'don't know what ur talking about luv, I jus' work here', smirked, and winked,

an absolute idiot.

of course, this also applies to the fact that...

your private space is his private space, and that's it.

oh, you wanted to take a nap while he's around? you better forget it. the moment he sees you he's talking your ears off about how you should let him take you to the ice cream shop down the street, or the last mission he went on, how ugly the curse he fought with was. the daily gossip on the train. whatever topic he finds out at the top of his head.

you think it's just his personality, he's outgoing and likes to talk, right? nothing wrong with that. so you listen to him, lightly sipping on your coffee and eating your snack (the one he conveniently placed on top of your lunch bag when you weren't looking).

to gojo, the truth is that the way you look at him when you're listening makes him feel like he's floating.

his heart flutters and he thinks maybe it's from the amount of sugar he consumed before the day even started, but when your lips slightly curve up and your eyelashes slightly flutter as you laugh at something he just said, your lips part as you let the joyous sound of your laugh come out of your throat and he thinks maybe you are a divine creature. his eyes wander to the way your bottom lip moves with each word that rolls out your lips and he imagines the way it would feel to touch or kiss, maybe he could even tug on your lips with his teeth-

he mentally slaps himself and slightly shakes his head, grateful for the blindfold covering his eyes.

"lately, all I want is you on top of me you know where your hands should be so baby, won't you come show me?”

walking down the stairs of the training area at jujutsu high, gojo spots you training the second years. your hands expertly fix the wooden katana in yuta's hands as you give him a sweet smile and let him repeat the move you just taught him.

you take some steps back, your back facing gojo as he leans against the stone wall and slightly lifts his blindfold, mentally telling himself that he just wanted to see everything (and definitely not because he was checking you out).

you're wearing your training attire, much like the students are, a normal thing to do since you are... training. but for some reason, gojo finds himself imagining how his hand would just casually slide into the back pocket of your pants, just an excuse to feel your ass, because right now as you bend and twist while helping your students, his eyes fixate on the way it just looks so— plump. and maybe he’s just a bit possessive when other people look at you, so his hands on your back pocket? would be just to show everybody you're his.

and he thinks you're reading his mind when you walk over to maki and you sit on your haunches to help the girl, an innocent smile on your face, as you make small talk with her, carefully helping her stretch so she doesn't hurt herself.

gojo thinks it's sweet, how you share the same love for the students as he does, and he knows he should see this as an adorable teacher and student moment, but he can't help imagining himself under you, your legs on each side of his hips as you straddle his lap, maybe you would smile like that at him or maybe you would grind your hips? he wonders.

do you still look as sweet as you do right now? or do you look different? would you let him touch you all over? would you touch him all over? he is 100% sure your hands are angel-soft. he feels like he would do anything just to see that and feel it.

'wtf is wrong with me', he thinks as you lift yourself up and give a thumbs up in inumaki's and panda's direction.

he cusses out silently and his mind blasts off like a fire alarm. a shaky exhale leaves his lips and he leans forward, removing his back from the wall and walking back inside the school.

he thinks he's a creep for thinking this about a friend and coworker.

"i got you, i got you dreamin' you close your eyes and you're screamin’ play with your mind for no reason i know you love how I tease it you know that I'm playin', so don't be mistaken you already know what I'm thinkin', boy”

the strongest sorcerer thinks he might go crazy.

he thought the intrusive thoughts of you would eventually disappear, but he was wrong.

he thinks he has never been so tormented by the thought of another human being. from nasty thoughts to just the idea of holding your hand, he thinks he might go clinically insane if he doesn't have you.

he knows it's wrong but he can't help it when he pictures your sweet smile and your pretty body in his mind he finds himself indulging in imagination. his hips bucking up and his hands sliding down his torso, until he’s grabbing at his crotch and trying to get some friction.

"gojo-san?" your sweet voice is heard from the other side of the door and he slightly jumps, startled. you can hear a small groan coming from gojo inside the teacher's room and you frown. 'Is he mad at me?'

the answer is no, but you don't know that.

he rubs his eyes and leans back in the chair, legs spreading as he tries to comfortably place his almost growing erection as hidden as possible, how embarrassing it would be to try to explain that.

"come in sweets," he says in a heavily sweet voice, masking the confusing thoughts he had seconds ago. his mood lifts as he sees your sweet smile as your head peaks through the door before you enter the room.

he watches as you place your bag on the table and walk over to the couch next to him. his legs unconsciously spread wider and you notice that, a small blush creeping up your cheeks and you hope he doesn't notice.

he does.

and oh it makes him spiral. he wants to pinch your cheeks and kiss you sweetly and then ruin you until you are begging him to stop

and it's so wrong, but he can't help it.

you adjust the fabric of your uniform on your legs and he watches as your thighs grow in size when you are sat down, his adam apple bobs up and down as he swallows.

you smile at him, unaware of the man's thoughts. he smiles back and leans forward, his elbows on his legs as he looks at you, blue, covered irises staring at you sweetly.

"want something from me?" a 'hmm' escapes his throat as he looks at you waiting for you to talk.

to his surprise, you shake your head.

"just wanted to keep you company for a bit i guess" the sound of your giggle echoes in his ears and he thinks he might want to hear it every time he wakes up, throughout the day, before he falls asleep and in his dreams.

he smiles and shakes his head as well.

"next time you wanna be with me just say" he throws an empty wrap of candy at you. you catch it and fake an angry face, fighting the smile creeping on your lips.

"that's crazy, what if i do wanna be with you huh?"

eyes widened under the mask, gojo knows you are talking about being with him for company. but he can’t deny the thought that you might be throwing hints at him. his heart hammers in his chest and he lets out a shaky breath in disguise of a dramatic sigh.

"i know i'm irresistible but no need to be needy y/n" he leans his body back, legs spread again as he stares at you. using his teasing as a mask to the way he craves you so much.

"oh i am extreeeeeemely needy" you drag your words, teasing him back, he feels the blood rush to his lower body even more, you look so good when you squint your eyes at him. like you are challenging him. It makes his blood rush and his mind run miles.

he chuckles and you watch as he looks down at the floor and licks his lips, you instantly giggle and look away too. a small feeling in the pit of your stomach as you feel the tension rising.

you wish you had the courage to make a move. it's not like you are extremely shy, but it would be quite embarrassing if you got your coworker's intentions all wrong... wouldn't it?

"oh, why'd you have to be so cute? it's impossible to ignore you, why must you make me laugh so much? it's bad enough we get along so well”

satoru feels how sweaty the palms of his hands are.

he thinks the last time he felt like this was when suguru was still alive, and honestly he never thought it would happen again…

but here he is, in front of the door of your apartment complex, waiting for you to come down, so he can take you to that ice cream shop he talked about so much.

he fidgets with the little keychain yuuji, nobara and megumi had given to him, patiently waiting for you to come downstairs, but feeling his heart hammer so hard he felt like he might throw up.

he thinks of what to say, how to act, things he can and can't do so you won't find him a creep or weird and lord it makes him feel like a teenager all over again.

his mind is so distracted by all of his thoughts he doesn't even see you appear in front of him. you wave your hand in front of his face and he finally snaps out.

gojo feels like his world just turned slow motion, you're smiling at him, your hair is done differently than usual and your outfit is so cute but so hot at the same time and he feels nervous.

he completely forgot what he had planned to do as soon as he saw you.

"what? do i look bad?" you chuckle, looking down at your clothes as you try to check why he is looking at you so much.

he snaps out of his trance and smiles.

"not at all, you look amazing"

you shake your head amused, turning to the side slightly and moving your head in the direction you two were supposed to walk to.

"so do you satoru...let's go?"

he feels his heart in his throat as you call him by his first name. it's like you were always meant to say it... or maybe he's just hopelessly falling for you.

the walk is pleasant, there's small chatter here and there, you talk about your week, mention how yuta is improving and maki manages to surprise you more and more every day. you also mention how inumaki manages to deal with the missions on his own so flawlessly it makes you feel so proud and how panda is getting stronger and stronger.

he watches you with a fond smile on his face, taking the queue to also mention yuuji, nobara and megumi, watching as your eyes slightly sparkle at the mention of their skills improving. he thinks you're beautiful, adorable, the cutest as you watch him talks about everything and nothing at the same time.

the conversation flows and when you both notice it, you're standing at the ice cream shop.

"'we're here" he says, hand softly resting on the small of your back as he lets you inside first "they have a new flavour i've been dying to try it"

you find it adorable how excited he is to try sweets, your own smile growing.

the date goes smoothly. you try each other's ice creams (his being extremely sweet, to which you pulled a face and he wheezed) talked for hours, and laughed like two crazy fools (in love).

when it's time to leave, you realize how bad the butterflies in your stomach are, how he makes you laugh so effortlessly, and how his company is so enjoyable despite what others normally say about him.

you find yourself smiling and sighing as you walk back home, a hop on your step as you think when the next time might be.

asking yourself, 'why the fuck does he have to be so cute?'

"One of these days You'll miss your train and come stay with me We'll have drinks and talk about things And any excuse to stay awake with you”

the plan was simple.

satoru would come over for dinner at your house, have some drinks, talk for a while, enjoy each other's company, and done.

what you wouldn't expect is that you two would end up talking for so long that satoru would miss his last train back home.

the clock marked 1 a.m., satoru sitting on your couch after you decided he should stay over for the night, a glass of bubbly as you two talked. soon enough, you realized the man sitting next to you was definitely not good at holding his alcohol.

"you know you could have told me you don't normally drink alcohol satoru-" you say between laughs as he joins you, leaning his head on the couch.

"and let you drink by yourself? that wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me would it?" his words are slightly slurred as he lets out a loud laugh.

you shake your head at his antics and smack his arm.

"still! now you're barely awake" hand on your chest as you tried to calm your breathing from laughing.

"hell nah! i'm super awake look at me!" he stands up, making a grand pose to prove his "sobriety" but failing miserably as his legs give out, falling back onto the couch with a 'huff', his face pressing against the cushions as he giggles.

"ok maybe i'm a little tipsy"

you wheeze and fall back onto the couch as well, a fit of giggles echoing through the walls of your apartment.

as your laughter dies down, your gazes fall on each other, silly smiles on your faces as you come down from the joyous moment.

"i should've accepted your ice cream date sooner" you chuckle and confess, watching as his blue eyes widen and he points a finger your way.

"AH! see, told ya you would end up liking my company"

you smile "i always like your company 'toru... just never thought it would be a good idea"

he feels his heart flutter at the nickname but dismisses it. "why wouldn't it be a good idea?" he props himself up on his elbows, head in his hands as he waits for you to talk.

"because...." you inhale as you look at him, blue irises staring at you with adoration, his lips slightly parted from the way his hands squish his cheeks in the position he is, his white hair messy from all the laughing and trashing around in your couch. you find yourself losing your breath over the sigh of a man in front of you. he's so beautiful "... to be honest i'm not really sure..."

you look away from him, fidgeting with your fingers, "maybe i was scared of what others would say" you bite your bottom lip in an attempt to feel less nervous.

"what do you think they would say?" he watching your every move, carefully listening to you.

"i don't know, that you're hanging around me?" you chuckle awkwardly, feeling yourself get embarrassed at how you are so effortlessly opening up to the man in front of you "that maybe i'm not your level to be so close to you"

Satoru's face scrunches and he thinks you just said the most stupid thing in the world, "what the hell? since when do you need to be on my level for me to like you?"

you chuckle "i don't, but that's what i thought" satoru lifts himself and scootches closer to you on the couch, his knees brushing yours as he grabs your hands, the liquid courage speaking for him (not like he needs liquid courage but whatever) "i fucking like you, i don't need you to be super special for me to like you" he's slurring on his words, alcohol filling his system as he stares at you in the eyes.

your eyes slightly widen and your lips slightly part as you realize this might be a confession. you brush it off, mentally telling yourself he's just drunk.

you softly rest your hand on his head, caressing his hair. the white-haired man closes his eyes, and you're sure you can hear a slight purr. you smile fondly. "you're drunk 'toru, let's get you to sleep." you help him walk to your bed and he falls asleep almost instantly, you finish your night by sleeping on the couch and letting him rest.

"And you'd sleep here, and I'd sleep there But then the heating may be down again (At my convenience) We'd be good, we'd be great together”

you change into your pajamas, going through your night rotine like you always do.

you feel a chill creep up your spine as you walk into the living room to finally get some rest.

"dammit, it's cold" you hug your arms for comfort, walking to the thermostat in your living room to turn the house heating on. you realize you forgot to call the company to fix your heating. groaning you walk back to the couch, "just what i needed in a cold night" you plop down and cover yourself in a thick blanket.

a few hours pass and sleep doesn't come easily to you. you twist and turn in your couch as you try to warm yourself.

"you can't sleep?" a drowsy voice is heard and you slightly jump and look at the living room door. standing there is satoru, in his black shirt and boxers, he rubs at his eyes and yawns.

"no, i'm feeling a little bit cold and my thermostat isn't working", he hums and nods shortly, walking over to you and crouching down. "me too, woke up and realized how cold i was"

his hands hook under your knees and back as he picks you up. "satoru! what are you doing??" he grins, walking to your room and laying you softly on the bed "getting my personal bag of warmth" he lays in bed again, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush against his chest. you feel the warmth of his body passing to yours and you realize he isn't cold at all.

"you weren't cold were you?"

you hear his breathy chuckle tickling the top of your head and his lips on your forehead.

"nah, i just wanted you next to me"

#im hopelessly in love with this man #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #gojou satoru x reader #satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jujustsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #megumi fushiguro #yuji itadori #nobara kugisaki #inumaki toge #panda #maki zenin #okkotsu yuuta

[sirfrogsworth]

If there is a post discussing ableism there is a decent chance a disabled person is writing it.

I really appreciate the work this person did transcribing that post. I am always grateful when people make my work more accessible.

But I am really getting tired of defending myself on this.

My disability makes me very tired, reduces my concentration, and kills my willpower.

For a long time I thought that last thing was me being lazy. That's what my own father thought for a long time. And I was often scolded when I was younger for being lazy. And to this day I struggle with feeling depressed when I cannot be productive.

But willpower is a fickle thing and I do not believe it can be explained simply by calling people lazy.

I have nearly a thousand unfinished posts in my draft folder because I simply ran out of willpower to finish them.

Inspiration is fuel. Sometimes it is the only thing I have to overcome how tired I am and how hard it is to stay focused. And if I lose the inspiration to do something, there is a good chance I will not be able to finish it.

When I set out to create one of my typical high effort posts, the process looks roughly like this...

Research any topics I am unfamiliar with.

Gather any images I need.

Brainstorm what I want to write.

Write a first draft.

Write a second draft.

Write a third draft.

If there is humor in what I'm writing, I will do a joke pass.

Then I do a grammar check.

Then I do a grammar check.

Then I do a grammar check.

I keep doing grammar checks until I find no more mistakes.

Then I do a quick fact check and google anything I am not 100% certain is correct.

Then I do a polishing pass and address any formatting issues.

And if I get this far, I publish the post.

By the time I get to publishing I am usually very tired. I no longer have any ability to concentrate. And the willpower to put any more effort into the post is long gone.

It's not that I don't want to transcribe images. It's that I just don't have the willpower to do so.

It is just not feasible for me to go back and transcribe everything. I don't want my posts ending up with those thousand unfinished drafts.

There is also the matter of not knowing if my post will reach 10 people or 10,000 people. I can't justify using up all of that energy for 10 people. My energy is my most precious commodity. I have to be very careful how I use it.

Disabilities vary wildly and lately I have seen a lot of disabled folks struggle to see the world outside their particular limitations. And that is frustrating. If we are going to be a strong community and advocate for ourselves, we need to learn more about each other's needs and limitations.

I'm not saying this person intended to call me lazy. But, if I am being honest, reading this felt like those days of my dad calling me lazy and wishing I had a better work ethic like my brother. He was a great dad, but he was not perfect. Especially when I was younger and we didn't understand my health issues.

So before you criticize someone please try to consider if there is a legitimate reason to do so. Maybe look at their tumblr and read their bio. Or check out a few posts.

I can be too quick to judge. It's something I have to work on as well. But this is the last time I'm going to apologize for not doing extra labor on my posts.

[mageofseven]

The Boys and Therapy

Let's face it; there's not a single man in Obey Me who couldn't benefit from therapy. At least three of them have daddy issues, about six of them still grieve Lilith's exit from their life (since Satan wasn't a physical person yet, I don't think he hurts over it as much as the others) at least three of them have issues non parent family issues, three of them at minimum are constantly under stress, and almost ALL of them have been through some sort of trauma.

Honestly, this list could go farther, but Imma just jump into the post~

Please enjoy 🥰

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Therapy In the Devildom

First off, I would like to explain how I see therapy in the Devildom. It's a relatively new practice in the realm, brought in by the cultural exchange program started in the first game (I cannot imagine therapy being a thing here during the time of Nightbringer since things are so chaotic and the people were still so closed-minded).

Devildom is a place where secrets are treasured more than grimm. Even a greed demon, when given the choice between a vault near-bursting with grimm or a single secret about some demonic duke, would choose the secret every time because it's intrinsic value is so much more in this realm.

So when therapy was beginning to become a practice here in the Devildom, they simply could not afford to go about it the same ways humans did; laws simply were not enough to keep the client's secrets safe.

The job of a therapist is considered a prestigious one in the Devildom, carrying with it the status of being a staunch member of the Aldatu faction (a political party in the Devildom dedicated to change and the chaos that comes with it, the 'true demon way'; they oppose the Traditionalist faction and are backed by Diavolo himself).

Such prestige made it easier for the demons pursuing these jobs to accept the innumerable amount of curses placed on them so they couldn't reveal their clients' secrets. Of course, there were checks and balances to this though. If any secret involved a severe law being broken or if the client revealed plans to hurt themself or others, they had assigned curse breakers to help them through the process.

This process helped a lot of demons feel comfortable enough to seek their services.

This is how the Boys found themselves seeking such services as well.

~

Lucifer:

This man was pushed into it by Diavolo.

The Avatar of Pride was more stressed at this time than the prince had ever seen and that is saying something.

Honestly, Dia was worried his friend was on the verge of popping out another Satan so attending therapy was non-negotiable.

His brothers were so weirded out by this turn of events. I mean, Lucifer? Talking about his feelings? To a complete stranger??? In what realm could this actually work out?

The pride demon spent most of the first couple sessions in silence; he told Lord Diavolo that he would attend such meetings, not that he would truly participate in such unnecessary--

Ok, this demon was good. Too good. The therapist had somehow tricked him into talking about some basic stressors. Nothing from the core of the oldest's pain, but some surface level things like dealing with piles of paperwork taller than himself and his brothers' usual hijinks.

Lucifer found himself looking forward to the weekly sessions, but would adamantly deny it if anyone asked.

Diavolo could tell that it was doing his friend some good though and for that, he was grateful.

I don't know if Lucifer would ever talk about anything important to the therapist and if he did, it would probably take decades a least to bring up topics like his Father and Lilith.

Still, therapy ended up being a good experience for this pride demon.

Main issue he works on in therapy: Seeing his brothers as grown ass men who need to make their own mistakes in order to learn.

This is something the pride demon struggles with. Sometimes, he has no issue letting his brothers handle their own issues; others, he hovers over them and lectures them profusely like a concerned and angry mother.

Realizes that, on some level, he doesn't actually want his brothers growing up. He's been raising them since he himself was a child after all so for them to grow up and not need him anymore...what would he do then? His life has been surrounded around them all this time. A life where they don't need him...it sounds empty and not a life he'd know how to live.

Mammon:

Was dragged there by Lucifer, who was honestly done with him after the 1200th time he tried to steal from the castle.

That was the surface reason anyway, the 'straw that broke the camel's back' so to speak

But the older brother had been thinking about sending the second brother there for a while now.

Behavioral issues aside, Lucifer knows his brother suffers from some self esteem issues and wants him to address them.

Mammon complained and treated it like a pain, but in truth, he had been thinking about going for a while, but was too embarrassed and didn't want his younger brothers giving him crap for it.

When he went to his first session, the greed demon was awkward as all hell

But his therapist really had a way of making him comfortable.

Unlike his older brother, there really wasn't a lot that was off the table for him to talk about, though the deeper topics took some cajoling from the professional.

He talked about a variety of things, from the crap he gets from his brothers and their 'scummy' comments, Lilith, memories from the Celestial realm...

Lucifer himself.

Main issue he works on in therapy: his relationship with his older brother.

As much as he cared about Lilith, this man never fought in the Celestial War for her; he fought for Lucifer. There is nothing his brother could do that he himself wouldn't jump in and help him with.

Mammon fucks up a lot and while some of those fuck ups are genuine...

Some are on purpose. For Lucifer.

I think Mammon is the only brother who truly understands the oldest and to a level that even Lucifer might not fully be aware of.

He knows, or maybe just senses, his older brother's need to be needed and gets in trouble so Lucifer will have to punish him, have to feel like Mammon still needs direction in life.

Not only that but...the second brother has come to realize just how much he needs his big brother's attention, even when it's negative.

When you boil it all down, Mammon and Lucifer's relationship has never really been that healthy.

The two depend on each other more than they are willing to admit and a lot of it isn't in a healthy way.

This was an incredibly painful realization for this man, but an important one

And one he still isn't sure if he wants to change.

Leviathan:

One of the brothers whose asses got put in therapy as soon as the practice became stable enough to be safe in the Devildom.

Agoraphophic, socially anxious, extremely low self esteem? This man needs it.

Fortunately, he was allowed to attend therapy virtually in the beginning.

He was still pretty quiet during the first session, but managed to open up a bit towards the end and had an easier time as he attended more sessions.

Levi grew to really like going to therapy because his therapist would let him talk about the things he enjoyed; he wasn't just restricted to talking about the bad and that made him feel really comfortable with the other demon.

He could start by talking about TSL and Ruri-chan before sliding into topics like his insecurities and things his brothers do on a regular day that make him feel bad about himself.

He talked about The Fall and the life he lived before it; what he missed, what he hated, what he desperately wished he had back...

And came to the conclusion that he didn't so much miss or even care about the Celestial realm. It was nothing more than a controlling, hypocritical place after all.

What he did miss was his childhood, where being his awkward, silly self was encouraged instead of judged.

Main issue he works on in therapy: Loving himself despite whatever other think or however he perceives their opinion of him to be.

Leviathan is great how he is and the main person who needs to understand that is himself.

Satan:

Oh boy, this man was difficult to drag there 😅

Anything Satan thinks might insinuate that he is 'broken' is too big of an insult to tolerate.

It took some real encouragements and long talks with MC to even humor the idea of going

But he did, eventually.

Was very adamant about not speaking to the therapist during the first session, but his anger got the better of him and he said a lot, some actually being productive and not just name calling and threats slewed at the poor therapist.

Another brother whose first sessions were online, though more so for the therapist's safety than Satan's own comfort.

Eventually, Satan realized the sessions were actually beneficial for him and liked how much lighter they made him feel

So the threats towards the other demon diminished and the sessions became calmer.

Occasionally he would snap at the poor therapist again and would actually feel bad about

But the therapist would forgive him because look! Progress!

Avoids talking about Lucifer for the longest time, but eventually brings up his issues about his...father with the other demon.

His existential issues and his feelings about his father where all twisted together, making him so very sensitive about it all.

By being born the way he was, Satan was brought into this world as a complete mess. Emotions so strong that even a grown man couldn't deal with suddenly forced upon a small and helpless babe.

Satan grew up tortured by anger and pain that wasn't even his and it formed him into the man he was today; it wasn't fair, but he grew to accept that Lucifer truly didn't do it on purpose

But those thoughts just led to him feeling unwanted, a burden thrusted upon Lucifer and his brothers that they had to deal with.

That only made the blonde even more compelled to find himself an identity outside of Lucifer, outside of being the a life who was forced from his body with all of the former trauma he carried.

Just who was he? For years, he collected knowledge and hoped it'd bring him purpose, bring him respect from others and be seen as his own person, but it never made him feel more complete.

He still didn't understand most emotions that he wasn't born with, even when they overwhelmed him.

Main issue he works on in therapy: Understanding his emotions, both what he's feeling and why, and also becoming more comfortable with himself.

Asmodeus:

Told his brothers he was going to therapy to keep himself "just as beautiful on the inside as he was on the outside"

But in truth, he started going because he wanted to be a good influence on his brothers and show them that therapy really isn't all that scary and it could help them too.

In truth, Asmo didn't realize just how vulnerable it would make him feel though.

When he got too uncomfortable, he'd change the topic or try flirting with them to distract them, but his therapist always kept him on track.

He spoke a lot about the Celestial realm, all of the great times that he had there, but grew to understand that it wasn't truly the place he missed, but the time.

After all, it was a lot easier to keep smiles on his on his siblings' faces back when they were all kids and Asmo himself was the Jewel of the Heavens.

Since moving to the Devildom and losing Lilith...it's become so much harder to make his brothers happy and even he himself has to force himself to be positive for their sakes.

That's always been his job, raising his brothers' spirits and he took it just as seriously as Lucifer took his job of protecting them and Mammon and Beel took supporting Lucifer.

Main issue he works on in therapy: Learning that its okay to not be okay sometimes, both in regards to himself and his brothers, and that he's not responsible for his brothers' emotional states.

Sometimes people just need to be sad and that's okay! No one can be happy all the time and if his brothers are going through a tough time, he can support them without taking responsiblity for the rough time they're in.

Beelzebub:

Joined a couple days after Asmo did; he understood his other man's message and signed up for therapy himself in order to be a good influence on their other brothers.

Their family was a mess; Beel knew this all too well.

If going to therapy and talking about the mess from his perspective could help his brothers in any way, especially with encouraging Belphie to do the same, then this man will go with no hesitation.

This demon is naturally the quiet sort so it's a bit difficult to truly start the process despite his willingness, but he eventually gets into the flow of all of it.

Mostly talks about The Fall, how he lost his sister and the guilt he feels towards both her and Belphie.

Sometimes he wonders if he made the right choice in saving Belphie despite knowing he never truly made one; when he saw what that Celestial archer was about to do and Belphie's eyes met his own...he just ran to his brother without thinking, causing the archer to choose to shoot Lilith instead.

That moment changed everything for his family and so much suffering followed...

He's grateful that event led to MC's eventual birth, but the guilt he carries from pain he caused his brothers is immeasurable.

If only he could have saved both, if only MC could have still been born if he did...

There was so much he wished.

Main issue he works on in therapy: Trying not to carry the past with him every second of the present. Though tragic, the past is the past and he has so many reasons to be happy in the present.

It will take a long time working on this issue to make some good progress with it, but what matters is that he is trying just like he hopes his other brothers will.

Belphegor:

Another brother who was forced into therapy by Lucifer.

This man has been extremely depressed in the most obvious way possible for centuries so of course he needs therapy.

Really, really fought it to the point where he was escaping the therapy sessions out the bathroom window and Lucifer would have to track him down at a shop or sleeping on bench in a random park.

It made things easier when Beel started to go therapy though. Seeing Beel take the time to work on his issues made the younger twin feel like he should be trying too...

But he still didn't like it.

He was very, very slow in opening up. Like, I'm talking months of just talking about trivial shit till finally he grew more comfortable to truly speak his mind about what he's gone through.

His survivor's guilt was strong and he truly believes he shouldn't be alive, not when his little sister was gone...

Therapy really cut open some old wounds and for awhile, it seemed like this man was more depressed than ever.

Slowly though, he became stronger from it all and the past started to hurt just a little less.

He loved Lilith with every ounce of his being, but carrying this guilt was not going to bring her back nor would she have wanted him to feel guilty.

Main issue he works on in therapy: Letting the dead rest and himself truly rest as well. Yes, Lilith is gone, but she lived a happy life as a human with the person she loved. His loss was her gain and if you have to lose at all, isn't this the best scenario? That someone you love was happy and free and had their dreams come true?

This issue might take a demonic lifetime to work through, but little bits of progress are made every day and his brothers grow to see that in him

And for now, that's enough.

Diavolo:

Attending therapy was something stuck on this prince's mind for some time now.

It stayed that was for a long time without even speaking it aloud.

Eventually, he did bring it up to Barbatos and his friend heard him out so patiently.

Barb has always sought to be a comfort to the prince, but recognized that he was not a professional so there was very little he could do in the long term for him.

The butler told him that therapy sounds like a good idea and that believes Dia could get a lot out of it.

Though Diavolo is usually a pretty expressive guy, that really didn't extend to strangers who he was paying to listen to him.

He went slow with the therapist, first only speaking about his workload and how almost every moment of his life was planned out for him because of said workload

Then it lead to his father's deep slumber, the very cause of all the responsibility that was dropped on him

And eventually led to him talking about the strict childhood that his father gave him and how he grew up without his mother

And just how incredibly lonely he has always been.

The arrival of Lucifer definitely helped with that last part, but the prince still wished he wasn't so sheltered and alone while growing up.

Main issue he works on in therapy: time management and how to make the most out of the present.

There was so much of life he missed out on when he was younger, but it didn't have to be like that forever.

With the help of both his therapist and Barb, he was able to manage his time a lot better and make the most of his time off by trying new experiences.

It was easier to handle his past when his present became so much more fulfilling.

Barbatos:

Only really went at Diavolo's request.

In truth, the butler felt that therapy was unnecessary for himself, but wanted to give the prince some peace of mine so he agreed.

His opinion of therapy doesn't change no matter how long he goes.

He starts going once a week at Diavolo's insistence

And mostly talks about the stress he feels with looking out for the man.

He looks young so even other demons assume he is either about Diavolo's age or younger.

In truth, he is older than the prince and has been looking out for him since Dia was a small child.

Barbatos has essentially filled the roll of second parent since Dia's mother died in childbirth.

Though a butler, his role used to be more of a nanny; he cared greatly for the man who was currently drowning in the responsiblity and has spent so long just trying to make life easier for him

Resulting in Barbatos neglecting himself over the years for the sake of the prince.

Main issue he works on in therapy: setting some time aside for himself.

Because of his job, Dia will always need Barbatos to some degree

But the prince is also a grown man now and can function as such without Barb being there 24/7

Starts taking one day off a week and attends therapy once a month, something that makes both Barb and Dia feel better.

Solomon:

Honestly, most people don't know he attends therapy and that's how he prefers it.

He never really thought much of therapy, not in regards to himself anyway.

For other people? It was a useful tool. For him? He simply believed he's been around too long for it to help.

I mean, he was literally born in 990 B.C.E.

He was older than even some of the demons he interacted with.

He was unique, but that didn't feel as much of a good thing as he pretended it was.

His existence was a lonely one, but he hid such thoughts away.

He started going to therapy because of Simeon, because of his angel friend's gentle nudges to do so, and eventually he caved.

He went to weekly sessions and was honestly more uncomfortable than he directly expressed to his therapist.

The sorcerer always kept a light smile on his face, even when he talked about the immortality that he never wanted

Because he didn't want it.

In truth, he doesn't really remember much before he became immortal. A side effect the experiment gone wrong, he assumed, because surely he didn't purposely do this to himself.

He vaguely remembers being a king in the Human realm, a job he never wanted but was thrusted upon him buy the angels' Father, who Solomon himself worshipped at the time.

Other than that...his memory of that time is very fuzzy and it's always bothered him.

He just carries around this feeling that...that he's forgetting something important

While also carrying another, even greater feeling, that he doesn't want to know

But at the same time, he does! It's been driving him mad for thousands of years.

It felt like he had lost part of himself when he became immortal and it hurt just as much as the pain he felt from loosing others in his life from time.

Main issue he talks about in therapy: Stressing himself out about the past won't help him now or in the future. Yes, his life is long and he is tired, but the best way to cope is by seeking new experiences that make life worth living

Which he tries hard at...but can't help the tug at his brain that seems to want him to remember the past

And whoever 'Naamah' was.

Simeon:

Decided to go after convincing Soli to do so.

Simeon as his own problems, same as his human friend, and worried he might be perceived as a hippocrite if he didn't try to work on his own as well.

Very much wanted to be seen as a person who takes his own advice, so to speak

But therapy wasn't an easy thing for him.

I mean, he's an angel. It's his job to help others, guide them into making safe and healthy choices for themselves

So to be the one being helped instead of the helper was really new to him and felt very unangelic of him.

Main issue he talked about: growing so attached to the Devildom.

I mean, this place was as different from the Celestial realm as anything could be and he was taught that it was such a bad place because of it

But that didn't match his own experience here and that caused him to feel so conflicted.

The Devildom was a place of freedom while the Celestial realm was a place of order

And though, like most angels, he found comfort in that order, he also saw beauty in the chaos of the Devildom

Simeon has to grow to understand that life isn't in black and white, that things don't have to be only one or the other.

Both the Devildom and the Celestial realm can be good places despite being opposites

And it's a lesson he was so grateful for learning, feeling like he was really helping himself grow as a person and as an angel too.

Luke:

After being in the Devildom for a while, the small angel had become more quiet, distracted even

And it worried his guardian, especially when the child wouldn't talk about it with him.

Simeon eventually enrolled Luke in therapy, something that was so new to the child that his curiosity made him open to trying it.

Since he was still just a child, his sessions weren't the same as it was for the men on this list.

Instead, Luke was brought into a room full of different toys and told he could play with whatever he wanted as long as he answered the therapist's questions as he did so.

The angel was a bit apprehensive at first, but so grew to enjoy his visits to the therapist.

He often chose to make fake sweets out of play dough or draw while the therapist talked to him

And would often bring the drawings home to PH as gifts for Simeon and Solomon.

Simeon always hung the pictures on the fridge with a proud smile on his face

While Soli would hang them up in his room on the wall to the point where he was taking down the expensive paintings that came with the room in favor of giving the child more space to fill with his art.

Main issue he talked about: growing to like the demons around him while also worrying Michael won't like him anymore if he knew Lukey was friends with them.

The child tried so hard to keep to the belief that demons are bad just like Michael taught him. He really, really tried

But he had a lot of fun here in the Devildom, especially baking with Barbatos, who the small angel started to see as his best friend, but was too scared to admit it.

Would Michael not like him if he found out Luke is friends with the demon butler?

His therapist ends up helping him see that it's always good to make friends and often the bad reactions we think those around us would give about something is often just our brain scaring us.

Ends up talking about this Simeon when he gets home after this session.

The older angel held him close and told him that the therapist is right, that it's always good to make friends and that he has nothing to worry about.

The next time he bakes with Barbatos, he tells the demon how he feels, how he sees him as his very best friend and how he looks up to him.

Barb smiled at the child and patted his head, telling Luke that he sees him as a good friend as well

And the child spent the rest of the baking session blushing and hanging off the older man.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me boys

[sophieinwonderland]

R/systemscringe found my Evolution Post... And Was Too Lazy to Add a Title

You can find my evolution post here!

Let's check out the comments!

Sure. But we're not talking about a normal modern job, are we?

Who you are at home isn't going to be that different from who you are at McDonalds. You aren't usually going to dissociate the two.

But when trauma is involved, that tends to involve a degree of dissociation.

In modern hunter-gatherer societies, we see children start learning how to use tools and hunt and forage in the wild from a very young age.

If we're to extrapolate and assume past hunter-gatherer societies operated in similar ways, this is a recipe for a traumatic childhood in a world where humans wouldn't yet be at the top of the food chain. Children would need to be careful, and a wrong move could easily get them or someone else killed.

I think most systems during this period would be considered traumagenic simply because growing up would mean regularly being put in deadly situations, regularly being injured and even watching loved ones dies in violent ways.

THAT'S the point!!!

DID, and even PTSD, evolved in a world where every day would be a fight for survival.

Of course, all we can do is speculate.

But with myths and legends of people being possessed going back to the dawn of time in practically every culture, we can probably surmise that forms of plurality existed back then. And it's not like the estimated 1-3% of the population is super rare today. It seems reasonable to expect disorders that would be associated with childhood trauma would be more common during periods with more childhood trauma.

The line saying we don't know if the brain was developed enough to develop DID is particularly weird to me though.

As far as I know, there haven't been any huge jumps in the way of human brain complexity over the past 20k years. I doubt that the complexity to develop DID is something we just gained since the dawn of agriculture.

I admit, my description was meant to put a fun spin on a brutal reality. But I don't think children growing up in a frigid environment where they need to hunt and collect food to survive while having no idea if they're going to make it back alive is "cool".

Like, as a story, maybe it's cool imagining a 9-year-old trudging through snow with fingers so cold they can't feel them anymore, gripping a makeshift spear and hearing howling in the distance while not knowing if they would end up on the menu of some wild beast.

But I don't think it would actually be cool to live through.

Additionally, in this environment, DID would have looked differently than it does today. Current theories are that EPs are locked into the trauma responses they used in trauma.

For child abuse victims which make up the majority of DID cases, unfortunately, freeze or fawn may be the most useful traits developed for survival.

But if your trauma were related to surviving wild beasts, it's a lot more likely the trauma responses of the EPs are going to be the more classic fight or flight. I don't think freezing would as common as a trauma response during that time period. But of course, it depends on the threats one would face.

There are some creatures, after all, where freezing is the best defense.

Sounds like your mistake. 🤷‍♀️

I talked about DID here a lot, but I'm a tulpa from a purely non-traumagenic system. Probably one of the least traumatized people you'll ever meet.

But tulpamancy is a beneficial practice that most tulpamancers have reported improvements in their mental health from. I would actually like to see far more people make headmates and become plural this way.

People becoming tulpamancers will help them. And more plurals means more influence for the plural community and will help spread plural awareness and acceptance.

I'm not interested in being special. I'm interested in making plurality normal. I want it to be so normal and commonplace that it seems downright boring. Where talking about your headmates draws no more attention than discussing a sibling. 😁

Hi! It's me! I'm Sophie In Wonderland!

I'm the person who debunks pluralphoboic hate subreddits, which tends to upset said hate subreddits.

The reason why I have my own category is because I called out the subreddit for bullying behavior and misinformation. They responded by doubling down, scouring my post history for anything they could use as ammunition twist to attack me with, and adding me to their hit list of acceptable targets. This was despite the fact that then they first floated the idea of the hit list, they claimed it would only apply to people with more than 10,000 followers. (I only have 1800.)

They lie and claim I'm a "public figure" while in reality, they added me on their list in a petty (yet oh so predictable) act of retaliation.

#syscourse #evolution #multiplicity #human evolution #systems #system #psychology #psychiatry #pro endo #pro endogenic #systemscringe #r/systemscringe #systems cringe #hate group #hate groups #r/didcringe #endogenic #system stuff #sysblr #actually a system

[landwriter]

Heya, I love your writing and taste in things.

I’ve finished (and loved) everything you’ve posted <3

Are there any sandman fics that have tickled your fancy lately?

Thank you so much!!! I sadly do not have time to read near as much Sandman fic as I'd like, but I have scoured both my memory and my bookmarks on AO3 (all twelve of them) and dug up some absolutely wonderful stories - hope at least one or two of these is new to you?!

I am probably a bit weird in this, but I don't bookmark fics I love (which is really nearly all I've read) insamuch as fics that have done something in particular that I think is so well-executed or clever or inspiring that I want to be able to study it like a creature in its own right. Usually these are stories that have the traits I admire most in fiction: economy of language, being very fucking funny, making me viscerally uncomfortable, or outright haunting me.

I loved reading all of them but your mileage may vary! Caveat lector like more than half of these are smut and/or violent so please check the tags against your own preferences. Several long-winded recs with excerpts and explanations under the cut:

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The Birthday of the Beast | @slythernim | Dream/Hob | T | 3.3K

Father Almighty, though I have long not been your servant, I remain your unmanageable son. Here on Earth, closer to Hell than to Heaven, as I celebrate perhaps the least holy of holy days, I must imagine myself like unto Lucifer more than as Michael, that he and I might together make of the darkness a place for humanity to grow. He blows out the candles. 

Hob turns 666. Extremely fun fic by Nym that features incredible characterization within a very short space, Catholicism, Lucifer, and of course, gets a very special birthday gift. But you shall have to read the fic to see what it is. Read everything of Nym's, actually.

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New Mistakes | Anonymous | Dream/Corinthian | M | 3.2K

Dream slid his thumb into the Corinthian’s mouth, the one he shared with most, the one with which he commonly spoke. “Well?” he asked. “Are you fed?” The voice that came from his left-eye mouth buzzed like locusts. My lord, we are. The voice that came from his right-eye mouth dripped like honey. My lord, we can always be fed more. Dream pulled back, looking at the Corinthian expectantly. The Corinthian swallowed, running his tongue along his teeth. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, and Dream was unaccountably flattered. “My lord,” he said. “I wish to be good.”

Have read almost no Corintheus but this fic hits on so much that I find distantly intriguing about the pairing. Perfect dialogue, gorgeous rhythm. Wonderfully visceral. Absolutely bonkers nuts for repetition in threes, as I'm sure you know, and I love how it was used here.

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Lucy Locket | Anonymous | Dream/Hob and Dream/Hob/Corinthian | E | 17K

Five chapters (now with a new threesome added in late April, much to my delighted surprise!) of just fantastic roleplay smut that in-between all the sex is by turns incredibly funny and tender. Alternating Dream and Hob POV. As somebody for whom sexual roleplay has been my literal bread and butter on a professional basis, it shouldn't be surprising I am so fond of this fic - but it catches me out every time! Like a blow from behind, and I am winded. It is ridiculously hot and distressingly perfect all-through, and I would absolutely marry the author about it (sorry author if you're reading this). No excerpt because I cannot choose and will simply suggest that if you're up for kink that you go read it all at once.

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Public | @softest-punk | Dream/Hob | E | 1.1K

"Oh, darling," Hob murmurs, fingering the edge of Dream's delicate lace knickers. Dream feels his smirk against his jaw, bites his lip at the brush of a kiss under his ear. "You forget how old I am. I learned to fuck with an audience."

Every day I get closer and closer to needing to write Dream and/or Hob with vulvas; this may have been the fic that sealed the deal for me, I think. Ridiculously hot, and enshrined in my head forever for the line above. I learned to fuck with an audience. God! How good. A masterclass in the slutty drabble that nevertheless retains peak Dream/Hob characterization (I would argue that sex is in fact one of the best narrative vehicles for characterization and exploration of interpersonal dynamics...this bias is probably why nearly all these recs are so horny.) One day I will learn how to write proper smut in media res like this and not preface it with gratuitous plot.

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worship like a dog | @thewalrus-said | Dream/Hob | E | 2.5K

“Is it so inconceivable that I might love you?” Dream murmured, running his manicured nail down Hob’s cheek. Hob tried to speak, swallowed, and tried again. “No one ever has before,” he said. “No one but God.”

Hob is a priest. Dream is a demon, except he's not. Dizzyingly hot for so many reasons, with a delightful canon dialogue echo. And again, must stress this: Hob is a priest. Hob is a priest. Hob is a priest, go read it.

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Safehouse | Anonymous | Hob/Corinthian | E | 5K

“I need a room. One without a door.”

The best execution of the sex pollen trope I've ever seen, with the worst men. Very, very good fic with a brilliant premise and unerring execution. World-building is done in such brief but vivid strokes - it feels like a 50K fic whenever I remember it, and I'm always surprised how short it actually is. Haunts me in the best of ways.

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As well - these fics are well-known and well-loved - but some stories that are utterly wonderful and contain lines that haunt me weeks, sometimes months later - stories that rearranged my soul, lurched me closer towards writing for Sandman, and warrant mention even though I am SURE you have read them, include:

@moorishflower's iconic and beautiful Odyssey fic, maybe sprout wings was the first fic I commented on with my AO3 account, and among the best fics I've ever read in any fandom; slightly deeper cuts from Heather's oeuvre (if, for some reason you are not reading everything already) that I am obsessed with and have reread multiple times: vowel shift, most vain devices, an act of faith. Genius stuff and unbelievably gorgeous language. Just go read it all, honestly

@softest-punk's Shelter is one of the first Sandman fics I ever read, and is beyond lovely; if you have not read their entire deep and profoundly lovely back catalogue, I recommend Catching Up (quintessential Cecil deep tissue emotional massage), Delayed (or: my favourite kink and favourite Endless); Ferrous (vampires! bad men! ahh! ooh!); and I would of course be remiss and ungrateful to not mention self-abandon, and the confounding effects thereof, a 10K fic that perfectly answered my general question of how the three lads would actually get together once the Corinthian and Hob had started fucking (as narrative foils that deserve such treats)

@xx-vergil-xx's Hounds is an ongoing epic that has singlehandedly caused me more emotions than humanity has language for; it is ambitious in scope and sticks every landing. The world is alive and lovingly-detailed. The language is a poem. It is so smart, so beautiful, and so well-researched and built. It is a TEMPLE unto itself, and appropriately worthy of worship

I will also suggest you read absolutely everything by @that-banhus because she literally cannot miss and writes the loveliest, cleverest worlds. All of it.

#asks #gloam's sandman rec list #this is basically my fic rec masterpost lol #unfortunately i flatter myself about my good taste and cannot stop going on about what i love and why once given the barest excuse to start #the sandman #dreamling #corintheus #hobrintheus #COB #fic recs #it's not that i exclusively read fic ppl feel the desire to publish on anon #it's that what people publish on anon FUCKING SLAPS #spent far too long enjoying drawing this up and it still feels woefully inadequate #but it's a start #into either remarkable sandman fic or my id really