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#and i do want to allow people to enjoy whatever they do
peachybella444 · 3 days
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Need you
18+
“And then the bitch scoffed and rolled her eyes like I didn't just apologize. I need to find a new place asap cause I swear next time she try me Imma fuck her up- “
“What I tell you bout cussing?” Ony’s deep voice filled the room, dark eyes piercing into yours as a warning.
“Anywaysss” You rolled your eyes, ignoring the side eye he was giving. “You’ve been awfully quiet since I came over. What’s going on?” You put your freshly manicured feet in his face.
“Nothing you’ve just been yapping the whole time.” He smirked.
“Rude” You gasped, nudging him with your toes.
“Nah I'm just chillin’. You know I like listening to you talk.” He shrugged, placing your legs into his lap. Lighting the blunt he just rolled, a cloud of smoke surrounding him as he took a hit.
“Whatever” You smiled as he passed it to you.
You and Ony often had moments like these, a smoke sesh usually spent with you talking about your week as he massaged your feet. Your relationship with Ony was…complicated. Ever since Sasha introduced you two, y'all were inseparable, constantly getting mistaken for a couple, and who could blame them?
Most thought this because Ony always had to be touching you, whether it was holding your hand, an arm around your shoulder, or a tight grip on your waist. However, for some, it was how you two would always disappear during the function. Claiming you were only talking, but the slight sheen on Ony’s lips and your slightly ruffled clothing told otherwise.
You weren’t quite friends with benefits. At least that's what you told yourselves. The whole ordeal just kinda happened. You were stressed over your midterms and Ony of course offered to help you study. Though after hours of reading flashcards and practice tests, you were still stressed and on the verge of tears when Ony offered another way to help you. That night you ended up with your legs in the air as Ony sucked the soul out of your pussy. Ever since then any inconvenience one had, the other would do their best to help relieve the stress. Your roommate upset you? Ony fed you long deep strokes, pampering you with soft kisses while he whispered in your ear. Ony was pissed that his supplier flaked on him? Ony would have the tightest grip on your hips as he drilled into you from behind, claiming the waves of your ass hypnotized him into forgetting what he was upset about. Some days neither of you needed an excuse. Some days you just craved each other.
Despite your unique relationship, you remained friends allowing the other to do what they pleased, though neither you nor Ony slept with or saw other people. Your dynamic was good and worked for both of you. That was until you started seeing Jean.
“You n that nigga Jean still fuckin around?” He broke the silence, waiting for your answer as your eyes met his.
“Ony” You groaned, the tight grip he had on your ankles preventing you from moving.
“What? I can’t ask you questions now?” He kissed his teeth, putting out the blunt.
“No, because any time you ask about Jean we end up getting into an argument and I’m really enjoying my time with you right now. So no, you cannot ask.”
“Whatever. I’m just tryna figure out when you gon stop playing in my face nd be with me instead of his bitchass.”
“Onyankopon '' You shrieked. You never understood why Ony hated Jean till a few weeks ago when Ony drunkenly confessed his feelings. At first, you thought he was joking but the look on his face told you otherwise. For a minute, you were happy. Ony was everything you had wanted in a boyfriend and you two had practically been in a relationship just without the labels. It wasn't till Jean texted you that you got upset. Why confess his feelings when you're finally in a relationship? Deciding it'd be best to forget about it, you put Ony to bed, hoping he'd also forget about his confession. Clearly, you were wrong.
“What? I don't understand what you see in him. He's annoying as fuck, and I'm pretty sure he has 4 brain cells. Maximum.” He rolled his eyes at the thought of Jean. “Why won't you give me a chance when I'm the one for you?”
“We've talked about this Ony.” You sighed. Conversations like these were becoming frequent and they were so tiring.
“No mama you've talked nd I've listened.” You thought about it, he wasn’t exactly wrong. Silently praying this wouldn't end up in an argument you gave him a chance.
“Okay. I'm listening.” You whispered.
“C’mere,” He released your ankles.
“Ony I’m not gonna-”
“[☆]” The dominance in his tone had you clenching around nothing.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you did as he told. The moment you sat on his lap you just knew how it was going to end.
“Why you with him instead of me? And don't feed me no bullshit” His large hands were rubbing up and down your thighs getting dangerously close to your pussy that desperately ached for him.
You tried and you tried but there wasn't any good reason as to why you were Jean. Sure he was cute but he had no idea how to make you feel special and overall just couldn't please you. In multiple ways. The main reason though was that he wasn’t Ony. He just asked first.
“I don't know, Ony” You finally sighed, looking everywhere but him.
Any discipline you had when it came to Ony vanished when his hand wrapped around your throat, the slight pressure on your carotid causing your brain to go fuzzy and your panties to get damp “Look at me”
“Be real. Please” Ony released his hold on your neck to grip your thighs.
“You had the longest opportunity to ask me to be with you but you never took the chance, yet when I'm finally in a relationship you suddenly wanna give up everything and take a chance to be with me and I feel like that’s not fair to me Ony.”
He rubbed his hands down his face with a sigh. “You're right.”
"I did have that opportunity and always hesitated. I always assumed it would be just you and me, that you wouldn't pursue other relationships because of our bond. Since the day we met, I've wanted you. I know this is unfair and I'm so sorry princess, but I can't ignore my feelings any longer. Jean can't possibly be the man you want, the man you deserve. But I can. I promise to take the chance if you just give me another opportunity, and I'll do everything in my power to make you proud. You’re my best friend, my favorite person in the whole universe and I'm determined to be the person you need. I love you [☆].”
“Ony” you huffed, feeling as if all air was being vacuumed out of your lungs at his confession.
“Please. Lemme show you how much I love you.” He whispered, closing the distance that separated you. “Please” He captured your lips, his usual sweet taste with a hint of spiciness from the weed clouding your thoughts. Oh, how you missed this. Missed him. The kiss was intimate and familiar, the passion growing with each second. Ony’s hands roamed your body, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs before traveling to your ass, taking pleasure in the soft moan you let out, and using the opportunity to slip his tongue past your lips. On instinct, your hips rocked down onto him.
“Fuck, baby. I missed you” He groaned, flipping you onto your back.
“Ony we can’t” You huffed, despite the wetness growing in between your thighs. God he looked so good. His muscles bulged as he took his shirt off, your eyes trailed down his torso, mouth watering at the prominent v-line peeking from his low sitting sweats.
“Do you want this? Yes, or no?” His tongue traced lazy patterns on your skin as he littered your neck with kisses.
“Ony I-”
“Yes or no [☆]?” He nipped on your earlobe, hand dipping below the waistband of your leggings.
“Fuck, Ony” his hand slipped beneath the thin fabric of your thong, fingers slipping through your folds. Gathering your arousal before circling your clit in tight circles. “Yes, please”
“Then shut up and lemme show you how much I love you” He murmured as he undressed you. Replacing his fingers with his tongue, he lapped at your folds like a starved man, his tongue repeatedly flicking your clit. “Missed you so fucking much. Don't ever give my pussy away again. You hear me?” He muttered, sliding two digits past your entrance. The action was easy with how wet you were.
“Ony” Your thighs threatened to close around his head.
“Answer me or I'm stopping” He slowed his movements, leaving you needy.
“It's yours. I'm yours pa, I promise” Your legs shook as he continued to give you slow strokes, the addition of another finger having you seeing stars. “O-Ony wait” You panted, attempting to push his head away but he refused to let up on your pussy, never wanting to stop till he and his couch were soaked in your essence as he lapped at your clit.
“Ony I’m so-fuck I'm so close” Your words encouraged him to speed up as he repeatedly hit the spongy spot of your walls. “Ony” Your walls clenched around his fingers, leaving little room for his fingers to continue as you reached your peak.
Despite your thighs tightening around his head he continued his assault on your pussy. It wasn't until he was finally satisfied with slurping up your arousal, that he pulled away pressing gentle kisses on your throbbing clit as he pulled his soaked fingers out of your walls.
“Missed you so much” He mumbled, giving you the nastiest kiss ever, your arousal all over his lower face.
“I missed you too”
“Yeah?” He grabbed your hips, positioning you on all fours.
“Ony” You whined, pout forming on your lips as you looked back. His dick standing tall now that it was no longer confined. God, please let me have feeling in my legs tomorrow.
“I know you ain't think I was done. You played in my face and let another nigga hit and think I'm not finna put you back in your place? Nah, both you and this pussy need a reminder of who you belong to” He slid his dick through your folds, your cream acting as lube.
“Matter a fact” He lined up at your entrance just as your phone started ringing ‘Jean baby’ flashing on the bright screen.
“Lemme show this nigga too.”
first time ever writing smut nd even though it was short it took me foreverrr but i think it turned out okay. also so sorry for all my Jean girlies out there lol. anyways i hope you enjoyed nd any feedback is greatly appreciated. mwah
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27 / 1.7k / spreading rumors about dating Gaz, part 2
⬇ nsfw; mention of revenge porn
...
Gaz doesn't negotiate. He doesn't back down. When the situation calls for it, he knows when it's time to escalate.
That's why he fucks you on your dining room table instead of a public bathroom. Partly because he's not a slag. The idea of you possibly agreeing to do it--of giving him the same ammunition you gave your ex to humiliate you--leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Even if you started rumors and risked his reputation.
A growl rises in his throat at the thought of your ex having the gall to send him that video of you. Christ. What on Earth did you see in him?
Partly, though, he wants to fuck you in your own house so that when he next sees your prat of an ex-boyfriend, he can properly rub it in that fucker's face that you invited him in on the first date.
Or maybe he'll take a picture of your panties in his teeth. He hasn't decided yet.
You're strung out with pleasure, your bare back against the table. You’re caught between wondering why he wanted to fuck you after all and letting every last reservation about it vanish into nothing. You’ve always wanted this. You never thought it would happen.
"Sergeant," you gasp out. "Is this-- what about your reputation--?"
"Don't start." His fingers trail the lines of your body, his eyes fixed on the parts of you he caught only blurry glimpses of in your ex's video. It didn't do you justice.
He wants to pretend there's nothing to this besides convenience--you did owe him. Hell, you wanted to sleep with him. You always made that crystal clear. Now he's just allowing himself to give in to baser impulses like a dog snatching up a rabbit thrown into its path.
But you're right. This will look bad if someone finds out. He should worried, but it's hard to care about that when the thing competing for his attention is the filthy way your pussy swallows him again and again, seeing how slick you leave the base of his cock.
He should've used a condom. He knows for a fact you knew he didn't and you said nothing. He'd tell you off for it now, too, but he's absolutely certain it would just make you cum. The nerve of you.
His hips stutter for a second before he can banish that thought from his mind. He shouldn't like the idea of you being that obsessed. Acting like you'd do anything he asked. Christ, work would be a nightmare if this got out. Him actually sleeping with you. But then again, he suddenly doesn't much like the idea of you finding a different rebound. You'd just be thinking of him anyway, right? Wouldn’t you?
Whatever. He’ll deal with the fallout later. When he's not enjoying your body.
“Who’s going to know?” he murmurs, eyes falling to your chest. “Let it go.”
“Mkay,” you sigh out. There's nothing more you want than to please him right now.
"You'd do anything I asked, wouldn't you." It's not a question. You both know it's true. And he likes that--he hates admitting it, but he does. His eyes drop to your pussy again, and his hips pick up their pace.
You've spent months flirting with him, teasing him about taking you to bed. Now you're getting everything you want. He's right. Why would you care one goddamn second about the consequences? “Anything.”
He hates how needy you sound when you say that. You're too trusting. He's taking advantage of you. Don't you get that?
His grip on your hips tightens, pushing into you more and more roughly. Your moans rise in pitch and he has to grit his teeth.
“Good." He says lowly. "Then you won't tell a soul about this, will you?"
"But--ah, ngh..." You bite your lip as he stops thrusting and grinds himself into you. You gyrate your hips, needing friction. "But people already think we're together."
“Do they? That’s a bold claim.” You're overestimating how many people believe silly rumors. Besides, it's hardly your concern anymore. He lays his palms flat on the table on either side of you, bracing himself. Your skin is so soft; your neck tempts him, but he restrains himself. "You're keeping your mouth shut from now on, yeah?"
You let out a sound of frustration as he slows even further. You try to push your hips harder against his. "Sergeant, please!"
"You want this, don't you?" His voice is chilled, but the heat in his eyes as he stares down at your bucking hips is hardly discouraging. "You'll want it again. You'll keep wanting it."
"Ugh, yes," you snap, squeezing your thighs fruitlessly around his toned waist.
"As long as you don't tell a soul about this, I’ll see to it that you get what you want," he growls. "Not your team, your friends, your stupid ex. No one."
You open your mouth to question him again, but he pulls away and snaps his hips hard into yours. Whatever you were about to say dissolves into a string of semi-coherent affirmations. Yes, you'll keep it quiet. Yes, you'll pretend none of this ever happened. Yes, you'll never use his name on base again. Anything he wants. Just don't stop.
"Good girl. Good girl..." Easy enough. Now that he knows how to get his way with you, you shouldn't be such a problem anymore. He can’t help but be a little greedy, though. "You're not going to fuck anyone else, either."
"Never!"
He grunts in approval. "And you'll never--and I mean never --try to get back with your ex. Understand? You'll stay away from him."
You writhe and plead, winding your arms around his shoulders. He grabs your wrists and pins them to the table, the muscles in his arms taut.
"Do. You. Understand?" His voice comes down on you like low thunder, all around you.
"Yes!"
"Good. I'll know if you do. Mm…" His breathing grows shallow. Your heat is impossibly tight, and tightening up even more. He squeezes your wrists. "You going to cum?"
"C-Can I?" you breathe out. "Please, can I cum?"
His hips stutter and he has to close his eyes for a moment. God, he's never been tested like this.
"Sergeant, please!"
"Cum," he says, the word short and sharp like gunfire. "Cum on my cock. Right now."
He presses his thumb to your clit and you wail, clenching around him like you haven't cum in weeks. Your body rolls, practically convulses, your head knocking against your dining table as you arch up. He lets out a snarl, not slowing down despite how painfully tight you squeeze him.
Once you come down from the high, his pace never slowing, your swollen core twitches and spasms with overstimulation. You cry out, but you make yourself stay in place. You want to keep making him feel good. You want to make him feel better than he ever has.
"Cum inside me," you pant out. "I-I'm on birth control. You can-- please--"
"You're a liar," he growls through clenched teeth even as he picks up his pace.
"I promise," you plead. Even if you're a liar, and you are, you're not lying about this. God, you want him to do it so bad you can feel yourself clench up again at the thought.
You're teetering on the edge of another orgasm when he pulls out, spilling his load across your chest and stomach instead.
You clench down on nothing, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction even as your orgasm ebbs out of reach. You let your head fall back onto the table, your breathing heavy. You don't see his eyes running over you, deliberating.
"Sergeant?"
"Mm?"
"Do you maybe want my phone number?" Almost seems like a silly question. He has your address now anyway.
"Hm." He pulls away, picking up your discarded purse from the mess of clothes on the floor. He pulls out your phone and opens your texts, types in his number, and sends himself a quick message. Then he finds your conversation with your ex-boyfriend. His eyes narrow. The last texts exchanged were earlier tonight. And you started it. You told him you were out to dinner with someone else. Just to get a rise out of your ex. It obviously worked.
That's okay, he figures, opening the menu and blocking your ex's number. If there's one person he does want to know about this, it's that arsehole. Maybe now he'll stay away from you.
You sit up. "Kyle?"
His eyes meet yours, steady and unwavering. "Yeah?"
"Were you serious?"
"I was."
"Even about coming over again?"
"I mean every word I say.” He hands your phone back to you and begins to get dressed.
You watch him, grasping the edge of the table. "When will you be back?"
"My squad leaves on assignment tomorrow. Don't know how long it'll be." He zips up and grabs his t-shirt. "I'll text you."
"Right, right." You suppress a sigh. "Always got a job to do."
He slings his coat over his shoulder, then pauses. He knows he shouldn't, but he can't help but reach his hand out to your cheek. He runs the back of his finger over your jawline. Then he disguises the tender gesture by gripping your chin and pulling it up so you're looking him in the eye.
"Behave," he tells you, voice low. "No sleeping around. No flirting of any kind. Is that clear?"
Your heart pounds. You swallow and nod.
"Good," he says, holding your gaze a moment longer.
As he leaves, closing the door behind him, he curses himself.
This is not a good idea. What's he trying to do, fix you? Stupid, stupid, stupid. This isn't going to end well. You're not good for him. But damn if he doesn't feel more satisfied than he has in years.
He has no choice. If he wants you to behave, he'll have to keep your eyes on him. Whether he’s on base or not.
...
part 1 / [part 2]
more Gaz / masterlist tag
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6ix9inewiturmom · 2 days
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The Scare- Chris Sturniolo
Summary: you end up having one of the biggest pregnancy scares of your life while chris is in boston
Warnings: Cursing, Crying, use of Y/N, talks of sex, taking a pregnancy test
A/n: may be tmi but lowkey relate to this so this was easy to write LMFAOO, ENJOY
PSA: DO NOT USE MY WORK FOR “inspiration” OR ANYTHING ELSE!!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Chris has been in Boston for the last 2 weeks, and he's finally coming home. I decided to shower and shave before he came home because that man is the most sexually active 20-year-old I've ever met, the Facetime sex at 3 am for him isn't nearly enough to satisfy both of our needs.
After my hour-long shower, I'm digging through my shared bathroom with Chris in an attempt to find my body lotion to prevent my dry ass skin in this heat when I find my box of tampons, which got me thinking I haven't had a period in a while and Chris and I aren't the safest people when it comes to sex because neither of us can even remember to put a condom on, it always fucks up my mood.
“Shit,” I say to my self.
Chris and I are only 20 and with his career there's no fucking way in HELL we can have a kid or even raise a kid, I am nowhere near ready to raise an actual child.
I open my Flo app and see the little circle that's normally red is grey ‘1 week late’
“Shit shit shit,” I say out loud again, panicking.
I can't keep it from him, he's gonna see the pregnancy test in the trash. Would he be mad if I kept it from him? Should I just tell him? Should I go to Tara?
After about 30 minutes of standing in the bathroom looking at the message in my phone, panicking about what to do, I just decided I was gonna tell Chris, he loves me, and we've talked about having kids way later in life anyway, he couldn't be mad.
I finally built up the courage and got dressed in a pair of tight ripped jeans and a baby tee, with some Converse, and sat on the couch waiting for Chris to come home going through Tiktok and whatever else was on my phone.
“BABY IM HOME” Chris yells from the stairs
I squeal in excitement as I spot Chris and run towards him. Jumping into his arms, he effortlessly lifts me, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist.
“Umm Y/N there are other people here too you know? Also, Chris get out of the fucking way so we can fucking put our shit down” Nick says in annoyance.
“Well hello to you too Nick,” I say jumping out of Chris’ arms moving out of the doorway, and letting Matt and Nick come inside the house.
“Sorry babes, we've all been up since about 6 am Boston time trying to catch our flight we almost missed because your fucking boyfriend wouldn't get the hell out of bed” Nick replies sending me a soft smile and giving me a soft hug.
“To be fair none of us went to bed at a decent time, mom was making sure we had everything packed so we didn't leave anything behind” matt defends.
“Thank you, Matt, now Y/N do you wanna take a nap? I know we were gonna go out to dinner but I'm very fucking jet lagged and kinda just want to order dinner and watch movies with you” Chris wraps his arms around my waist nuzzling his head between my neck as my hands rest on his shoulders.
“Thats fine with me i don't mind” i pull away from his embrace and smile at him.
Chris grabs his luggage and my hand and guides me to our shared bedroom. As we enter the room he seats his luggage down and plops on the bed letting out a groan of frustration.
“I have missed this damn bed, don't ask me how I slept in that bed at my mom's house for god knows how long because this one is so much more comfortable,” Chris says adjusting the way he's laying to rest his head down on the pillows. “Now after 2 weeks of no sex and just my right hand, I'm gonna need to fuck the ever-loving shit out of you” he smirks at me patting his lap and signaling me to sit on it.
“Yeah so about that” give him an awkward smile “So I didn't know how to approach this to you, 'cause you know we're not the most responsible sexually active humans” I start babbling getting nervous of his reaction based on the puzzled look on his face.
“Y/N what the hell are you getting at? cause if you don’t wanna have sex with me right now that’s fine just say that, but considering our last facetime call the constant ‘oh chris i need your cock’ was really misleading to me” he says with a puzzled faced.
“Chris i’m late” i breathe out.
“late for what? did we have reservations for dinner? did you have something for work?” he says with frustration in his voice.
“No Chris my period, I'm late, my period is LATE, I'm 1 week late today,” I say aggressively from his lack of acknowledgement.
“wait we haven’t had sex in 2 weeks? i’m confused” he sits up moving to the edge of the bed.
“last time we had sex i was ovulating, remember when i told you like a while ago that if im ovulating means im FERTILE?” i say in frustration.
“Fuck” he runs his fingers through his hair “Did you take a test? Do you know for sure that you are pregnant?” he questions
“No, and no, I didn't wanna take a test without you, and I for SURE didn't wanna hide it from you,” I say softly sitting next to him on the bed.
“So why the hell are you freaking out now? You don't know for sure that you are” he asks placing his head in his hands.
“Because you and I are nowhere near ready for a fucking kid Chris, your career, and my inability to even fucking care for myself some days, yeah there's no fucking way I can care for a child who can't even speak on its emotions, Chris” I stand up out of frustration and start pacing.
I can tell Chris obviously got upset with my statement about our ability to care for a child but i was stressed and honestly wasn't thinking.
"I want you to know that I care about you deeply, Y/N. If you are indeed pregnant, please know that I will do everything in my power to support you and our child. Even if it means giving up my career, I will do it willingly. Let's go get a pregnancy test and we can talk about everything else later, okay? I am here for you, and I will always be." he says, his voice filled with empathy and understanding as he gently cups my cheeks in his hands, rubbing them softly up and down and warm smile spreads across his face.
As our eyes meet, a warm smile spreads across his face and I can't help but return it. He takes my hand in his and gently guides me towards the living room, his grip firm yet gentle. The coolness of his skin against mine sends shivers down my spine.
“Girl, were you guys arguing? Normally after we come home from Boston it's all ‘Oh Chris more, more’ typically a traumatic event” Nick says mocking me with a smile plastered across his face.
“Y/N and I are running to CVS so well be back in a little,” Chris says walking him and me down the stairs and to my car.
The drive to CVS was filled with a bunch of conversations and laughter, talking about if I was pregnant how we would raise our child, and Chris talking about the dad jokes he's gonna have, and considering he's a triplet he carries the genetic that I'm probably gonna twins or triplets.
“How many of these things do we need? What brand is best? why are there so many options?” Chris says holding 3 boxes of pregnancy tests and struggling to figure out which one to pick “fuck it why don't we buy all of them and use one pack tonight then we'll have the extra on hand in case our irresponsibility gets the best of us” he continues.
Chris and I walked up to the front counter and dropped the boxes of tests. The worker behind the counter took a look at the tests and then looked back at us, giving us a fake smile. After ringing up the purchase, we made our way to my car.
“So do you think you are pregnant?” Chris says breaking the silence.
“I mean normally my cycles are normal and a week late is not normal at all but it could be my hormones changing or something, but I do wanna make sure,” I say glancing at Chris nervously biting his nails.
“You were right about how irresponsible we are with our sex lives but when we first started fucking we knew the risk of everything and I mean our kids would be pretty cute,” he says placing his hand on my leg and rubbing a small circle with his thumb.
Chris and I pulled up into the driveway. As we got out of the car, he held my hand tightly and carried the CVS bag in the other hand as we made our way into the house and up the staircase.
“did you get any snacks?” Nick says eating a bowl of popcorn on the couch with Matt watching the most random movie on Netflix.
“Uhm no I just got a couple of personal things” I say nervously holding up the bag and sending a warm smile to Nick.
Chris and I pretty much B lined to the bathroom, anxiously “So which one do we use?” Chris says looking down at the boxes.
“Just give me the one that says Clearblue” i say softly laughing as Chris opens the box for me and inspects it before handing me the little stick.
“Do you want me to hold the stick while you piss? I'm sorry I have no idea how these things work” he says laughing allowing his back to slide down the wall and sit with his back against the shower door.
“Chris it's fine i know how to use these, believe me my friends in highschool weren't the most responsible either” I say laughing beginning to pee on the little white and blue stick.
“So how long do we wait?” Chris says helping me take a seat on the floor next to him.
“5 minutes” I breathe out setting a 5-minute timer on my phone and leaning my head against the shower door.
As we sat in the bathroom, waiting for the pregnancy test to show its result, the silence felt palpable. It wasn't an awkward silence, but rather a deafening one that seemed to fill the entire room. With just the two of us present, we anxiously waited for the five minutes to pass.
“Would it be a bad thing if I wanted it to be positive?” Chris chuckles.
“I wouldn't necessarily say a bad thing, there's a part of me that kind of wants it to be positive too” i smile back at Chris.
The alarm on my phone quickly broke the once-loving moment sending us into a panic. Chris and I stand up walking to the counter.
“Wait should we film it in case you are then we could always have it if you could be pregnant?” Chris’ gaze softens as he looks at me.
“Chris not the time” I softly laugh out.
“Right,” he nods smiling back at me. “WAIT” he grabs my hand “Whatever happens, I love you,” he says in a serious tone.
With a warm smile, I gaze lovingly at him and reciprocate his affectionate words, "I love you too Christopher." However, my attention is quickly drawn towards the counter where the pregnancy test lays face down, taunting my nerves. With trembling hands, I muster up the courage to pick it up and slowly turn it around to face me, my heart pounding in anticipation of the result.
‘Not Pregnant’
“YES, MORE CREAMPIES” Chris shrieks wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up, and spinning me around as I giggle out of excitement.
He carefully seats me down back flat on my feet. Our moment was quickly interrupted by both Nick and Matt barging through the door.
“ARE YOU GUYS- wait is that a pregnancy test? Y/N ARE YOU PREGNANT?” Nick yelled as Matt's eyes widened at the little blue stick in my hands.
“Please for the love of god, I don't want a little Chris running around, or two, or even three” Matt places his hand on his forehead.
“No she is not” Chris chuckles at the boys’ comment.
“THANK YOU,” matt and nick say in unison.
“Wrap it before you tap it next time Chris,” Nick says walking away and back to the living room.
“Now I'll say it again, after 2 weeks of Facetime sex I would like to absolutely fuck your brains out” Chris says smirking down at me.
“Please do” I smile as he picks me up gripping the backs of my thighs as my legs wrap around his waist leading me to the bedroom.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
A/N pt 2: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THISSSSSS AND TYSM TO @cosmicmistake42069 FOR THIS INSPIRATION!!
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hypnotic-kink · 23 hours
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Tan lines?:)
100% RANT
Please don't take this personal @builtincalifornia, I'm not directing these comments towards you. i get the ask, I went on vacation and I have posted pics of my tan before & bikini pics. I did take some tan line pics and a few full body bikini pics on vacation, I was going to post them, but one super disrespectful guy ruined that request, so no, no tan lines will be posted ... I feel mentally abused after that guy. I also know I post some provocative pics and it can attract the mega pervs (who I end up blocking), I get it, I accept that will happen occasionally, and I can handle most comments. I've gotten good at sidestepping them but now I need to be clear, my pictures give NO ONE the right to message me sexually, make demands, say nasty things and then get pissed when I say no and proceed to call me every name in the book. He's blocked and I will block anyone that displays childish behavior like that in DM or in my comments. If you agree with Him, block me and good riddance. If you think my pics are hot or sexy ...hey then I accomplished what I set out to do! I enjoy getting the aesthetics right on my pics, and that's awesome and I'm flattered when people think I took a great pic. Glad you like them! I also enjoy interacting on comments too, again, nothing wrong with that, that still isn't an open invitation to sexual comments or give anyone the right to have expectations towards me and I'll say most of you guys have been PRETTY AWESOME and I've cleaned out the really degrading ppl that used to make all the crude remarks. My blog IS a NSFW site after all, and I AM allowed to post whatever my little heart desires and let my exhibitionist side out in a safe environment if I chose to, there is NOTHING wrong with that. Don't get it twisted. I'm not here for a hook up, and I'm certainly not here to get you off. No one has the right to demand pictures of me. After 1 1/2 yrs. on this blog, the people I am friends with and do talk to in DM, you're there for a reason .... thank you for knowing my boundaries and respecting them and thank you for your friendship. Yes, women are allowed to have male friends on here, that doesn't mean we are sexting or have a sexual relationship with all of them. I do appreciate and value you. You're the best :)
To the people that want to judge me based off my posting sexy personal pictures. KISS MY ASS, you don't know me. You haven't even tried to know the woman behind the pictures & I don't have to agree with any Dom on his opinion. I'm sure there are many women who post pics that feel the same way as I do. Am I a sexual person? Absolutely, but I'm also not all about sex, so stop with the assumptions. I'm also a one-on-one relationship kind of women who isn't poly and isn't into multiple guys. So many like to lump all us women who post pics together like we're all sexting everyone in this place, but for me personally, you're wrong. I'm sure there are some men in here that the same assumptions are made too. I am not sexting any man in here and I say that publicly because I know it's the truth. I'm not a whore, a slut, or easy because I post pictures of myself. I'm pretty damn selective and there are many in here that know that and have said perhaps my expectations are even too high. AGAIN, No one owns me in here, I'm not a punching bag for you to hurl derogatory words at if you don't get your way and no one has the right to demand anything of me, nor send dick pics, and I don't even have to respond to DMs if I choose not to. I'm always nice and polite to people who message, until it's time not to be. Me being polite is also not an invitation to say sexual comments. If I wanted to go down that path I would, and you would know it. I'm not looking. Also, when men post their own pics, I support them 100%, that does not mean I want to get with them, or I'm perving on them. It takes guts to put yourself out there, for men and women. Men and women support me so why wouldn't I support them?! You guys all rock too! While I'm on a rant, do not, I repeat do NOT ask for more pictures of me if you do message me. READ PROFILES DAMMIT mines pretty clear.
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lichenes · 8 hours
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"Emo boy..."
Little something to get me back into writing... Feel free to send me asks! Enjoy :D
CW: kinda mutual pining, mischaracterisation probably (.-.), it'll get better in part two if you guys want it :D, SFW wc: 699
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He entered your little shop, looking incredibly strange amongst the cornflowers and alliums you were displaying. "Mornin'! How can I help you?" You asked cheerily, way too happy for the hour that was shown on the clock just behind you. 
König had just recently retired. He loved the military life, truly the only thing he could say he deeply and passionately loved. Taught to always sleep with one eye open, he wasn’t adjusting to civilian life very well.
‘The quickest way to brighten up your house is to decorate it with flowers!’ He heard from the overzealous neighbour, truly delighted to meet him (and afraid for the safety of her and her kids, obviously). Immediately, he looked up a flower shop near him. Not being allowed to keep more than a flip phone on himself, he wasn’t used to the freedom internet gave. 
The next day, he got up bright and early to avoid people as much as he could. König was hoping for his visit to escape everyone's attention. Admittedly it was difficult, with his overbearing frame, towering over nearly every person he stumbled upon. 
You weren’t fully conscious yet, having woken up less than an hour ago. Running your own business could be quite a feat, especially with alarm clocks which don’t work quite well. Your hair was a bit dishevelled but you were hoping to fix it around your lunch break. 
He was staring. You noticed something was off about him but you just waited politely for him to ask you for whatever it was he was here for. In the gentlest voice he could muster he asked. “What do you have that would brighten up a house?” He used the same phrase as the neighbour, her name not quite cemented in his brain. You were taken aback for just a quick moment but slipped back into your customer service voice. 
You went on about the types that would suit any home, and he listened intently, opting to go for daffodils. König paid for his bouquet and thanked you. While you were wrapping the flowers you tried to make polite conversation. “Did the missus send you here?” He looked around, chuckling nervously. “No, no, I needed something to get me out of the house you know?” That was an obvious lie, but you didn’t question him further. 
The next time he showed up at your shop, you recognised him as that window shopping, huge guy who usually walked past your shop, gracing it with a fleeting glance. “Hello! What can I help you with?” For a guy his size, he sure knew how to make himself look small. You weren’t quite sure what he wanted with you, but your ego didn’t allow for you to think all this was about you.
He scared you a little, but you’d never admit that. His anxious demeanor of a lost puppy was neutralising his terrifying presence pretty effectively. “Sorry to bother but-” You waved your hand as if to say ‘not a bother’. “There's this person I’m trying to thank…” He went on about their personality, gushing at how inviting their presence was. You were drinking it up like fine wine, becoming more and more interested in him by the minute. 
“She’s my neighbour actually! So I was hoping to repay her for giving me the idea and buying her flowers.” He blushed a little. Not that you would notice under the face mask he was wearing. “I need to ask, flowers do have meaning after all.” You tried to explain yourself, not wanting to seem too intrusive. “Is it supposed to be a friendly bouquet or a let’s-go-on-a-date kinda thing?” 
He waved his arms in front of his chest. “It’s nothing like that!!” You smiled at his antics as he added. “I’ve got my eyes on someone else…” Your cheeks, suddenly, felt hotter than they should’ve for the conversation you were supposedly having. 
He got out with the bouquet you suggested and thanked you profusely. König didn’t even give you his name, and you could already feel being smitten by the cruel, cruel gods of love. God damnit, you were hoping to see him soon.
pt. 2?
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just-antithings · 3 days
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I wanted to piggy-back off the Harry Potter ask regarding performance activism specifically regarding Harry Potter fandom.
I'm a little woozy after a medical emergency I had this week but I'm scared ill forget this, so bare with me, please.
JK Rowling coming out as a TERF was absolutely heartbreaking especially as a queer person who grew up on the series. The series was a life-line in a time where I was being drowned in loneliness. I literally grew up with the books. I started when I was eleven and read the final books ad an 18 yr old.
And when she first came out, I was one of the many who wanted to walk away and no longer wanted to associate with it, but felt so wrong.
It felt wrong on many levels. On the most noticeable, it made me incredibly sad that I felt I was no longer allowed to read the books, enjoy the movies with my family, got to some of the Harry Potter exhibits with my family. A huge part of my adolescence was suddenly forbidden.
Abstaining from the series was hurting me more than it was impacting her.
Then, from a more social justice perspective, what does us abstaining actually do? I mean really, it's like the trnasphobes dumbing their beer over Dylan. Or burning merch over finding out someone is gay or whatever. We make fun of people destroying their merch because the corporations already have their money.
It's the same thing with JKR. She already made her money. She doesn't care what her fans think because she doesn't have to.
Refusing to engage with a piece of media to feel morally superior just makes the individual feel better and I think we do it because people feel powerless and like they have no other way to advocate and fight against transphobia.
It also feels like a way to feel morally superior and as an opportunity to punch down.
So, I, a queer person, let myself enjoy a piece of media creates by a transphobe, because that piece of fiction has grown to be so much more than its creator.
For advocacy?
I donate. I engage with the community. I'm mindful of the conversations I engage in. I speak when needed and listen when needed. I donate when I can. I support trans creators when I can. I vote. I learn our queer history and understand where we've come from and what has allowed us to grow into the community we are now.
Personally, I find it more satisfying and more rewarding, and more impactful than ignoring a fandom and piece of literature that has brought myself and my family joy.
Anywho, hope this makes sense. Thanks for your time!
.
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copper-16 · 16 hours
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why do you reckon mapi and ingrid may be being more private with their lives? im not tryna be a freak or anything like that, im just curious if something happened for them to do that? or is it just a suspicion you have? again, not tryna come across as weird, i just wish the best for them and totally understand why they wanna be more private considering the eyes on them and especially more if something happened x
Okay so we did end up getting a birthday post (I’ve never been more thrilled to be wrong about something!), but I definitely have seen some discourse about Mapi and Ingrid becoming a little bit more private on social media. Not a whole ton, obviously they still post each other quite a bit (I haven’t really noticed a difference to be honest), but I have seen some people discussing it for some reason.
I think it feeds into a bigger discourse of footballers and the line between their private versus public lives, and where fans fit into that.
Mapi and Ingrid both have been very open in the past, but they are both getting more famous. And with more fame, comes more online abuse and just overall more dialogue about their lives and choices. Perhaps they just want to live their lives as they please, without having to appease or perform on social media, or be subjected to any sort of abuse/homophobia/whatever it is. Everyone has their limits.
I think it’s important for people to remember that these are real people, with real lives, and we cannot grow so attached to people or the idea of a person in our mind that we aren’t still respectful of their boundaries. I probably sound like a huge hypocrite saying this, but as much as I enjoy writing about these women, I don’t find myself in any sort of like para-social relationships with them, and I caution anyone against growing so invested. When I write about them, I’m not attempting to write about real people, but more along the lines of a character that is based off of that person (utilizing the fact that my audience already understands the characters and often the setting, and I don’t have to do that myself). Thats one of the reasons that fanfiction can be so enjoyable for people to write and read, is this idea that it’s easier to understand because both the author and audience already have an idea of the world/people/setting, and the author doesn’t have to spend the time and word count setting that up. It’s not that writing about these people is us trying to invade their lives or change history, but rather utilize our own creativity to think of our own stories. No writer, including myself, should ever claim in this sphere of writing to be writing the truth, because we don’t know these people!
I know there has been a lot of discussion on invasions of privacy, and I might get some push back on this but I figured I would state my own thoughts. People are more than allowed to disagree, I think there’s room for healthy discussion without being cruel toward one another:
I don’t see that big of a problem with writing about or discussing football and footballers on platforms like Tumblr and ao3, where the chances for these people to actually view what is being discussed is very, very low. In my mind, players would at that point be seeking out that information, and that is their choice and within their boundaries to do or not do, as they see fit. People are naturally curious, they have questions and want to connect with others about things they enjoy, and I see platforms like Tumblr and ao3 as a way to do so. People can learn, discuss, debate, etc with the freedom that these players are not on the platform, and will therefore not see what they are saying. I think it’s healthier that way, for all involved, to have a level of disconnect. I do think there are still lines to be drawn on these apps, I’m not saying it’s a free for all, but I tend to be more forgiving of potential mistakes or more risqué posts because I doubt that these people will ever see them.
I personally see a much larger problem being had on platforms like Instagram and Twitter and TikTok, with heavy amounts of abuse and overly harsh criticism about honestly all aspects of their lives. There is a difference between discussion and constructive criticism and bashing someone, or being abusive. Players see these things, we clearly know this, they are people too with feelings and bad days and people need to respect that and have some empathy. I find fault with Tumblr posts when someone on twitter/instagram/tiktok pulls a post and put it on one of those platforms. Why people would do that and open players up to seeing these things is beyond me, and feels disrespectful to all parties involved honestly.
I also see a lot of issues on those apps with invasion of privacy. My take on the issue has always been if a player has posted something, that is public knowledge that is allowed to be consumed, because they have made the choice to post and share that with the world. There’s a difference between scrolling back a few years to find a funny picture of a player when she was younger on her instagram page and ending up on her aunts friends Facebook page, digging up pictures from 2012 to use in some facet. Or taking something that someone has since deleted, or somehow getting a photo from a private account that might be a personal photo. There’s a line, and sure, it might fluctuate a little depending on the person because we all were raised differently and have different boundaries, but I still believe there is still a universal level of respect that can be upheld. We are not entitled to anything, the fact that we get to engage with these women and learn about their lives is a PRIVILEGE, and not a RIGHT. I think people often forget this.
Anyways, this got very long and waxy, which I apologize for. I’m sure I’ll get some pushback for this, because everyone feels a little differently on the subject, but this is simply where I stand. People are welcome to disagree and discuss as long as it is done so respectfully!
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I'm surprised you haven't posted any Welcome home stuff recently! Honestly kinda makes me sad since I love your WH art and stuff
yea y'all are gonna have to be Patient w/ me bc
a) i have like. a week left to pack all of my stuff before i need to shove everything into a uhaul and leave, so its crunch time! leaving little to no energy/interest in anything else
b) to be honest my mental health is the worst its been in years - which is fine, its whatever, i can deal. it's not as bad as it could be and im handling it! like a champ, even! but also its leaving little to no energy/interest in anything else
c) had a minor crisis over my art and how i interact w/ WH, and i realized im not scribbling enough of what I want. ive mostly been trying to please people and do as asked and thats! not good! so i want to temper expectation & reassert that im Not a WH art blog - its just a hyperfixation / something i love rn. i draw what i enjoy & what i want in the moment.
#i picked up my tablet last night and all of my motivation died on the spot#so im just. eh whatever ill get back into the swing of things eventually#but yeah im spending my time packing & keeping myself afloat! not much room for other things at present!#rambles from the bog#but yeah i was starting to feel like a commodity of sorts?#like the majority of asks are just some form of 'can you draw this' 'draw this' 'id love it if youd draw this'#which is. fine. im an art blog! thats what i do!#but its also like hey. im just some guy doodling what they enjoy. im not a machine churning out content for consumption#& it gets to the point where there's so much expectation and obligation and 'demand'-#when do i ever sit down and truly indulge in what i want?#like the monster scribble i posted the other day! it made me so happy! i love monsters and Beasts!#when do i ever allow myself to draw them?#rarely bc i feel like people Expect puppets from me. and thats not a great feeling!#i love puppets i love wh and everything but i would like to enjoy it w/o pressure yk yk....#& for a second there i Was feeling the pressure and scribbling puppets was starting to feel like a chore#something i Needed to do to please people#so! im focusing on real life & taking a break from creation & keeping my mindset away from 'jump into traffic' thankyew <3#theres just too much going on right now#in my head And outside of it.#so ill stick to packing & binging psych & i'll lovingly place everything else on the backburner
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solardistress · 11 months
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everyone who is in the stanley parable fandom should somehow get sucked into the rabbit hole of the story and or characters and or the concept the game presents . not like ohhh i looove the narratorso much heres my design and lore for them for it kind of rabbit hole where you fixate on this character that like. you are making uo backstory for to the point it deviates from canon because youve gone too far from the game details or whatever but but really aanalyze the game the moments the dialogue for just a moment . mmfind the meaning in the words . find somethin g profound in the data the papers the desks the situation as a whole . you cant just . romanticize the characters. without. like. understanding them first . tou cwnt do anything with the characters until you inderstand them at a gut wrenching level . at least brush uo on their wiki once in a while ? play the game ? every now and then ? treat stanley right ? anyway if you like the stanley parable so much why cant you tell me about 432 and their situation . how profoundly sad their existance is and how you trea t them. how about cookie9? why do you hate themm so much. because of a review ? tou antagonize them for what ? the narrators doing ? bexause the narrator what . yeah . tou cant even explain his actions . go go play the game and hav eit rewrite your brain . go down the rabbit hole and bask in the true horror and unrealism of their situation
#how sleepy am i jesus christ#tsp#anywayy i think what im saying is pleade enjoy the gamr and the story it has actually theres so many little details and often all i see is#just. the narrator . the endings . stanley. yeah theres feeling and emotion but j want that in words i want to to see you understand it#i want to see you see it in your own way inderstand and process it in your own way and share that#i love seeing analysis posts !!!!! uughh nbrhh. not to say that like. the fanart isnt what i want no i love the fanart so much#but i wish there were more analysis posts or something idk#idk what my point was here#i love characterization . by the way . as someone who would write fanfics and has a pet peeve of correct characterization in fics and such#i just wish more people hnderstood the game as a whole and didnt just end up being like haha ships !!!!!!!! romance !!!!! like yes ! but#but also like they have something MORE than romance. something more intimate and close . not sex yeah sure whatever but they are#connected in the most horrible ways and connected so closely and lovingly and they are connected whether they like it or not#they hate each other they love each other they are each others world they are divorced theyve been married for eternity they would kill eac#other they woukd have sex they woukd kiss they would dance they would do so many things that arent romance oriented but still close in#so many fucking ways because they love hate each other and their relationship is so conplicated you think they just suddenly love each othe#no matter what now ?? after what. you think stanley is forgiving ? after being brought through hell over and over and over again?#no! they hate each others guts i tell you. but they still stick by each others sides because they dont belong anywhere else#theres love but not in any way any of us can think. theres love but not like that but also exactly like that. theres also hate#and its a beautiful mix of the two that allows them to get along so well and endure each other for so long and further#anyway fucking . i forgot my point#anyway go down the rabbit hole 👍 this game is insane and you should be insane about it too#but like. be insane about it . not the concept of romance in this game. do not pair them up just for the sake of shipping#understand their relationship. understand them. understand their circumstances. understand their problems their bate their love#them. understand them and how much they need each other. how they keep chasing and chasing and chasing only to run#in circles. anyway what was my POINT. i ront remember 👍👍👍#i am . so sleepy
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greghatecrimes · 3 months
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Your bio says “CEO of Autistic Thirteen” but I personally believe Pioneer to be a more accurate title. Love your page<3
Anon, I read this when I was very sleepy last night and it genuinely brought me to the verge of happy tears. Thank you❤️
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demadogs · 5 months
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devastatingly disappointed that the entire young royals tag is filled with comparisons to rwrb and heartstopper as if i dont love young royals entirely because its executed so much better than either of those
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boyfridged · 1 year
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Do you agree that Jason, as written by Winnick in UTRH and Lost Days, acts out of character post-resurrection if we take into account his post-crisis robin days? If yes, how would you have him act/react to stuff after he comes back from the dead?
tldr: i definitely agree. moreover, classism plays a huge role in it, and i don’t think that at this point the storyline could lose these implications, which makes trying to conceive what an “in character” (for robin jay) version of these events would be quite difficult. 
let’s just start from saying that i don't think it's a secret that i don't really like winick in general. despite his work being mad interesting on a conceptual level (and style-wise, genuinely well written!), he has no love for the characters he writes about. 
imo utrh shouldn't even ever make it into the mainstream batman timeline. i am aware that this is a radical opinion, but my take is that it would do best as an elseworld story (and in this version too it would need some tweaks here and there), because it made damage both to the mythos of batman and jason's legacy that can never be undone. the very premise of the story is so deeply disconnected from jay's original place in the narrative, and so classist at its roots, that there's not much room to truly fix it. 
(i want to say, preemptively, that i am aware that there are people who read utrh as a story of a revolutionary and a victim – and they have the right to do so, but ngl, my view has always been that it was never written as that. utrh reinforces so many stereotypes that it overshadows the revenge tragedy spirit of it all.) 
another disclaimer is that, to be honest, jay doesn't have a very consistent characterization even in his 80s run, and it also has some classist implications that ideally should be either erased or addressed in the text (that winick instead exaggerated and put at the very front of his storytelling.) starlin's writing is, at the end of the day and very much ironically, more sympathetic and gentler in evaluating jay (simply because at the time he would not get away with changes too blatant) but details such as jay saying that "all life is game" and his random nonchalant behaviour that has its origin in the very beginning of starlin’s run are already signs of it. some readers will trace jason's arrogance prevalent in his red hood era to these issues and say that his actions post-res are therefore a logical extension of his robin days, but i don't buy it. even if you want to lean into starlin-esque characterisation, if you consider the core problem of the garzonas plotline – which is power, jay shouldn’t look into the solution of anything in climbing to the top. and if he did, it would have to be written as a “becoming what you feared/hated most” kind of story, which i can see a certain appeal in (and which would at least acknowledge that it was not his initial personality), but which would go back to its classist assumption of cycles of violence and doomed fates.
so – how to make his post-res era more accurate to his post-crisis robin days (and least classist in the process)?
if we were to follow my fav iterations of his characterisation (barr’s detective comics and the ntt appearances) tbh I don’t think a lot would happen, because his personality is quite mild, and just so hopeful there that i wouldn’t expect any extreme actions from him – but then again, the circumstances that he finds himself in post-res, the trauma, and his sensitivity do warrant grief that should become a driving force in his life from now on. the question is, what to do with this grief as a plot device?
i know that plenty of jason fans hate this take but I actually think the concept of jason trying to be detached and cruel but being bad at it might be one of the least offensive to his 80s characterisation. it’s def not accurate to pre-52 canon (apart from countdown perhaps) but imo for jay to be authentic and nuanced he should be conflicted about his own actions. his overconfident behaviour should be a pose – just as his frantic acts in his origin story as robin were. (again, something that many readers don't take notice of – but reading the rest of collins' writing wherein jay quickly settles into being easy-going and even a bit shy is proof of it.)
these two points lead to the “no good deed” narrative that I often talk about - the reading that jason saw his intuitive and self-sacrificial kind tendencies as something that brought him pain and that never was quite efficient, and that post-res he intentionally tried training himself out of. there are some flashes of it here and there throughout the years of the red hood publishing history, but it never got a true spotlight. and if i were to write lost days, jason flinching at his own violence would be a focal point of the story. 
moving on to utrh; i have spoken about it at length before but I think if he were written 1. with more political sensitivity 2. to have retained the same maturity re: the social order 3. to have the same idea of morality, he should have followed more of actual revolutionary tracks and the whole “drug lord” authoritarian figure schtick along with the idiotic idea of “controlling crime” would have to be thrown out of the window. 
and, later on, forgiveness should play a big role in his story. he's so quick to forgive and justify everyone in his robin run – this is also why i reckon his team up with harvey in tfz was a wasted opportunity.
so, in conclusion – perhaps not that much would have to change re: his actions but definitely a lot should change regarding his emotional journey and his position. i would def throw out a lot of mindless violence and power posturing out of it though. and perhaps make him a bit more polite just for the sake of more consistency (this is not me taking a moral stance btw nor tone policing a fictional character. i just think it would be more faithful to his 80s writing unless you want to make him explicitly scared. and it would be funnier tbh.)
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astralazuli · 7 days
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So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.
& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.
& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.
Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.
#I don't Believe many things#because I prefer to stay open to new perspectives#& think that a balanced approach to life involves embracing a certain level of ambiguity in reality#but the things I do Believe in?#Oh I Believe them with all my heart.#I don't know how my belief system will change in the future#But I do know that above all else I believe in Kindness#Kindness to yourself Kindness to everyone around you Kindness to nature#The point of society is to ensure Everyone is treated well & can enjoy existence as much as possible#The point is Joy. The method is Kindness.#& if you aren't fighting for Everyone to be taken care of & respected & treated with Kindness#then I am not interested in your revolution.#If you hate the people against you more than you love the people you're fighting for?#You're missing the goddamn point.#(Please note I'm speaking of Kindness as a separate concept from Niceness.)#(Sometimes you cannot be Kind without being Not Nice to someone who is doing unkindnesses.)#(But I feel like a lot of people mistake that concept for an excuse to deny those they disagree with Kindness.)#(& my dudes you don't actually have principles if they only apply to people you like & agree with.)#There is no freedom until everyone is free includes the people you don't like.#While I am not free right now due to my various axes of oppression & the oppression others face#I'm also not gonna be free if we straight up murder & imprison the current oppressors#Trading one oppressive system for another isn't actually all that radical???#Just 'cause you think 'the right people' are being oppressed doesn't make oppressing them okay?#Like I'm a leftist because I believe Literally Everyone should be allowed to live whatever fulfilling life they want#so long they as aren't doing a damage to someone else in order to do so.#Not because I think I think the wrong people are oppressed.#Hm now that I've written this fucking essay on ethics in my tags#I am seeing Bestie & Birdfriend's points...#Birdfriend legit said that I'm the '**smacks others while screaming** BE! KIND! TO! EACH! OTHER!' type of Paladin.#I guess they were right.
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curseofdelos · 2 months
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honestly though I think I need to be better at taking that "write self-indulgent shit" advice
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junkie-virus · 6 months
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anyways. i have been feeling vaguely unsatisfied with media. mainly queer media . i dont know it all feels the same. of course maybe i could widen my horizons though i dont know where to start but im kind of tired of the halfway-redonating. i can never really fully resonate with any queer media because it only wver focuses on one identity in a way i can’t relate to because mines are heavily influenced by one another . only ever gay/bi. only ever trans. only ever white. only ever allo. etc etc
#ro rambles#i dont know this makes sense but this is my diary im writing in bloodsoaked with my sparkly pink pen and a fuzzy end with a cat bell and ri#bons#also u can literally never ever escape top/bottom bullshit in fandom. its a neverending powerplay#i do enjoy contrast ships but its always one enjoying one being coy or shy or reluctant or whatever.#idk im not even one of those niche high class media people or whatever i just want more trope subversion#or allowing characters to be versatile & dynamic (ha half joke)#not just one note always#idk im alays looking for ways to subvert things and that does lead to me being like “is this even in character anymore? like the obvious ch#oice is obvi because their personality would influence them into making that choice. but u can make it in character hilst making them choos#something that seems unexoected for them. yk.#im rmbling.#because its my blog and i can.#(aggressive)#i encourage recs but if its geaveyard boys or whatever its called dont do it i already bought and tried reading & dod not like it.#dropped it but so desperate maybe ill try it again#i just have a grudge bc its one of tge only rep i have covering like. an okay amount of bases & that i was hoping to relate to#BECAUSE EVERYONE SUGGESTS IT WHEN YOU ASK FOR BOOKS WITH THAT CERTAIN REP#& it dissapointed me#ah well#im talking. im talking .#trying to make my own gay people. settling on that. though character deesign hard….#my thoughts are nowhere near fone but this is liter so stream of consciousness that theres no point#no sense#im just yappin#am a professional#could fo this forever
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musical-chick-13 · 8 months
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UGGGGHHHHHH
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