#and get a new strategy team for fuck's sake

[maraguanabana]

hellooooooo

so, last race of the season, last report. I don't know how to feel

SF-23 YOU WILL NOT BE FUCKING MISSED LITTLE PIECE OF ROSSO CORSA SHIT

right now, I'm the least Tifosi person on earth. Ferrari did my boys dirty with this one. Of course we had to finish the season with a Ferrari Strategy Masterclass. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!?! WAITING FOR A SAFETY CAR? EXCUSE YOU?!?!

Congrats to Max. You're an absolute beast. But please, don't be a beast next season. I beg you Maxi Taxi. That goes to you too, RBR.

In case you didn't get it, I'm angry at my favorite team. Because we fucking lost the P2 in Constructors. As my dad said, cuz we were bitches this season. I think my dad is a really wise man, I don't know about you.

I wanna punch someone and throw them to a wall. Because I've been forced to listen how Mr Pérez did not deserve his penalty, and how it was a xenophobic action from the FIA. Let me tell you something. The FIA might be group of useless people whose decisions half of the time look like they were taken with their feet, but that penalty did was deserved. "He fully turned into me" WHAT THE HELL. you are not Osama Bin Russell, last time I checked.

If I speak I'm in trouble about the man in the Mercedes with blue that snatched my P2 in the Constructors, so I will not. He did no wrongs I'm just fucking angry because I wanted that P2.

Yuki my man, you are a legend. I think I'm getting Jason Statham to go to races more oftenly if that's how you drive when he is seeing you.

I never, ever watch the races with someone else than my family. But yesterday was my friend's birthday so I decided to throw a little sleep over in my house. Said friend is a die-hard Mercedes fan. It is an understatement to say that another one of my friends had to get between us because everytime a graphic popped up in the screen and it said that Mercedes was P2 I wanted him to be the person whose head I smashed against a wall.

happy winter break everyone! this season had ups and downs, but it is safe to say that: IF NEXT YEAR IS NOT OUR YEAR I TELL YOU FERRARI YOU WILL FELL MY WRATH. AND MY GRANDMA'S.

PD. the only thing that kept me sane during this last gp was, I cannot believe what I am going to say, Lestappen and the goddamned Sticker War

#f1 #ferrari #abu dhabi gp 2023 #I guess I'm rewatching 2021 out of pure need #I guess I am #Ferrari I'm serious you do not want to feel Nonna Luze's anger #you better do your job correctly this time and give my boys a Championship winning car #a RELIEABLE Championship winning car #and get a new strategy team for fuck's sake #winter break #lestappen the lifesafer #charles leclerc #carlos sainz #red bull racing #max verstappen #sergio perez #geroge russell #lestappen #the great (sticker) war #formula 1

[astonmartingf]

MISERY ; MW2

mark webber x rbr race engineer! reader

. . . fuck sebastian vettel and fuck his goddamn race engineer who he can't help but think about all the time. he's bitter, jealous and in misery.

amgf finally i've moved everything 🎉 yay! everybody cheered!! i'm so happy and excited, i'm going home for the week and i'm writing the heck out of that alo fic and doab will be finally over 🫠🫠🫠

death of a bachelor ; masterlist

[2009]

With the way the Australian was acting one would say he’s bitter. Fighting the urge to roll his eyes every time you laughed at something Seb said, which wasn’t even that funny. Maybe you were trying to be civil, but Mark wasn’t having any of it. 

Not only was he fighting for his seat in Red Bull, with the addition of a newer and younger driver he was about to be replaced. The team finally made a car competitive enough to race for podiums, but instead of attacking for points he’s left behind the dust of his teammate Sebastian Vettel.

YN who was now assigned to Vettel- are not only starting to form a better relationship, but also score more points. Not that YN nor Vettel was to blame, the sport is already complicated in a way with changes and upgrades, not everything is constant. 

And as much as Webber wanted to work with you, with how things are looking it’ll be better with both of you to do different things. You were Vettel's race engineer, and he stuck as the second driver.

[2010]

He can’t seem to pinpoint the root of his frustrations, but every time he hears your voice in the background of the team radio, talking and congratulating the fuck out of Sebastian and his pole position, he turns into this miserable monster who wants nothing but to silence you.

This of course hasn’t got unnoticed by the younger German driver who was observant, nosy, and attached to you by the hip. It seemed like wherever you go, Sebastian would follow like a lost puppy on the track. 

Which only irked the driver more, adding to the long list of unexplained frustrations in his head, eating him up. “You know, with how much you’re frowning, it’s shocking it hasn't formed into a unibrow yet.” 

Mark glanced up to see the one and only Sebastian Vettel with a goddamn awful smirk plastered on his face. Clearly he knows what’s up, rolling his eyes as the Australian raised his middle finger in front of the younger driver.

An audible gasp left Sebastian’s mouth, “You shouldn’t do that to me, I can help you know-” teasing the older driver.

Raising his brows Mark pulled Sebastian closer to him, whispering in his ears, “I don’t need your help mate, now go on and annoy someone else.”

“So… I should just go talk with YN then.” 

The mention of your name whips his head back to Sebastian, smirking as if he caught him in action. Pressing his lips into a thin line, Sebastian nods, slowly putting two and two together.

“There is something going on with you two… YN had mentioned you a few times in our conversations.” 

Mark knew better than to react, there’s no way he knows. But the thought of you speaking about him, he couldn’t help his curious nature. Turning around slowly he could hear the German’s stifling laughter. “Spill it.”

“On second thought, I think it’s time for my debrief with YN. I guess you’ll have to figure it out next time.” Shrugging his shoulder, Sebastian walked the other way leaving Mark no time to chase him.

“For fucks sake… Get a grip Webber.”

[2011]

The only thing that developed from last year was his relationship with Sebastian, it boosted the morale of the team but more importantly it put him in conversations with YN. From a bystander’s view it’s embarrassing to see his efforts go to vain.

Especially with Sebastian’s new found knowledge, he teased the Australian often. This time he learned not to blame YN, hearing Seb talk about how you’re always busy prepping and forming strategies, as well as the pressure to perform in meetings.

He could barely catch you since you were all over the paddock, nose buried in different papers looking at data, triple checking results for Sebastian. On the way from the small set prepared for the DHL Fastest Lap Award he was shocked to see YN walking beside him.

“Congratulations on your award.” Mark froze, he had not expected this at all. He’d been looking for you, biding his time to form a conversation, yet here you were congratulating him.

“Are you looking for Seb?” Mark spoke without speaking, wincing at his reply- there were definitely better responses but why would he assume you’re looking for Seb after congratulating him.

“You don’t like talking to me much? Seb has been talking a lot about you, you’ve gotten quite close these past year.” Mark stayed silent, waiting for you to say anything more.

“But I’m not here for Seb, I came looking for you actually. You deserve that award, and many more. I guess I’m just proud of you.”

This revelation came as a surprise to Mark. Bewildered, he asked more about your statement. “I thought you hated me.”

“I don’t think I ever hated you Mark, if anything else- you should hate me.”

Brows furrowed in confusion, Mark was lost. But he knew he would get his answers soon, “Why would I hate you?”

Placing your hands deep in your pockets, slouching as the corners of your mouth form to a frown, “I disappointed you Mark. Though, I’m glad to see you winning now. You did it by yourself, and I know you will continue to do better.”

[2013]

It all happened too fast. In the corner of the pit wall you stare at the screen as you watch Sebastian overtake Mark, you froze. You wanted nothing more than to run and leave, but at the same time you were stuck in your seat like a deer in headlights.

Hearing the radio beep, Sebastian’s voice was drowning in your train of thoughts and in the background you picked up the voice of Mark speaking to his own engineer. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath before responding to Sebastian.

The whole situation is out of hand, and despite you not agreeing with his actions, you have to focus on your work that needs to be done and prioritized before anything else. Just like you always have.

At the end of the podium celebration you found yourself hiding inside the team garage away from both drivers, knowing fully well you couldn’t take the stress from it all. As much as winning with Sebastian felt good, not only for the team but for your career, it also brought out the worst parts of yourself.

You didn’t know you could be this calculative, greedy, and the hunger from wanting all the wins took a toll on you, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally had you drained. You felt miserable, and worst of all- you felt yourself to blame for what happened. 

All you wanted to do was run away, there was no longer a voice of reason- the sport became unenjoyable for you, and there was no longer hope for you to get back and enjoy the sport like you used to.

Sitting in silence, you jump at the sound of Mark’s voice muffled behind the door. “YN? Can I come in?”

“It’s okay to come in.” Your voice comes out thin, hiding your face in your arms. “Are they looking for me?” Peeking over, you catch Mark kneeling down beside you.

“Nah, they’re just cleaning up. Are you feeling okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

It took you a few years to approach Mark once again, blaming yourself for his past results. As a race engineer it was your responsibility to support and ensure the drivers of their performance. You worked hard behind the screens, drowning yourself in data in the hopes of finding ways to improve.

You sit in silence, slowly relaxing as you lean on Mark’s shoulders, “It’s not your fault you know, not now and definitely not before.” 

“How are you so sure of that?” 

Mark hummed in thought, “Because I spent all those years blaming myself as well, I thought I wasn’t capable of putting out results and when you were with Seb, I can see your genuine happiness whenever he’s winning. Something we never got to experience together, I think it’s unfortunate but it’s definitely not your fault. You should know that, I don’t blame you now.”

You nod to yourself, “You blamed me before? I’m glad to hear that, I was inexperienced and only had myself to blame.”

You feel Mark laugh as his shoulders rise and fall, “I definitely cursed you in my head more times when we were together, but I learned then. And look at us now, we’re definitely better than before.” 

“I’m sorry, Mark. I could’ve done more.” Pressing his lips, Mark nods to himself.

“I understand YN. I wouldn’t lie if I say I’m not flattered that you chose to support me, but don’t ignore Seb for too long.” 

“I’m not ignoring him at all, I just want space to think clearly.” You rise from his shoulders, facing him for the first time. Your eyes puffy from crying.

“And, what did you think about?” Mark asked, wiping the tears rolling from your eyes.

“I’m thinking of quitting after the season.”

yourinstagram

liked by aussiegrit, oscarpiastri, and 648,297 others

yourinstagram it's been a while in the paddock but good luck to our boy oscar <3

view 97,461 comments...

aussiegrit thank you for coming and for the nonstop support love ❤️

sebastianvettel let's meet up soon

yourinstagram sure seb, i miss you and hanna

user1 their boy oscar WOW

user2 why are you casually dropping this????

user3 i'm here from twitter and it's a mess

user4 i just read the webyn thread

user5 we're all here from twt???

oscarpiastri thank you so much for coming to see me!

yourinstagram good luck on your first race! we're proud of you

user6 yn left and came back as MOTHER!!!

user7 this is single handedly making me look forward for the 2023 season in the hopes of seeing mark and yn on the paddock

#f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 fluff #mark webber smau #mark webber x reader #mark webber fluff

[ressonancee]

WESTERN WIND

Vernon is on the verge of freaking out - Vernon is chill, Vernon is calm, but everyone has a limit, and Vernon's limit is when he complains 3 consecutive weeks about his front wing and the engineering team doesn't do a thing about it.

✦ genre: F1 Alternative Universe, almost enemiers to lovers (but really just have a fight in the workplace now we are weird), smut, they do it without protection so - be safe guys love you.

✦ word count: 8.9k+ ✦ title inspired by Carly Rae Jepsen - Western wind

✦ Thea note: okay, this was a challenge!! This was written for a friend who enjoys the f1 world and isn't a carat - but we are working on it. I write for me and I write what i like to read and to me, Vernon screams lazy sex so that's that - that's really nothing more on this subject. reminder 1: i am not an english speaker so i am very sorry about any mistake but you don't need to be a bitch about it. Also, I may try to write every member but gooooood some are harder than others, and vernon was hard for me so i am sorry if the characterization is weird or when you are reading this you think shit this is not Vernon lol I reached a point where i was like yeah i'm giving up.

Vernon has always been obsessed with the idea of flying. 

Not taking an airplane-flying, but actually flying. The closest he got to this was behind a steering wheel. And he got so obsessed with the feeling - first the wind against his face, then the whiplash of going too fast.  He loved it so much that he just made a career out of it. 

And Vernon was good at it, one of the best really, first drive in his new team and all. But it is the seventh grand prix and the car still lacking and there is so much he can do with pure strength and strategy. 

He can't fight aerodynamics. He can't, and to be honest, he shouldn't do what the engineering team was supposed to. But he is one step away from getting out of the car and breaking the damn front wing with his bare hand in the middle of the box. Vernon, a lot of people don't know, but he has this kind of superpower when he gets incredibly mad his face is still calm, and nobody knows he is on the verge of freaking out.

But Vernon just handles the steering wheel to the guy next to the car and jumps off it without making a scene. On a scale of Fernando Alonso to Kimi Raikkonen Vernon leans more to Kimi's side, even though right now he may pull off a Nico Rosberg or psychological warfare like Michael Schumacher against the engineering team, he is not above it today. 

He is no Kimi Raikkone though. Vernon does prefer just being in the car. He enjoys being on the circuit running laps. He is chill with being on the go, traveling around, jumping on airplanes, and Vernon developed a near to perfect packing method - he travels with just a backpack, thanks god. Vernon doesn't love press tours, sometimes they are just insufferable. He doesn't love to have a run down when his week has been shit - trashed car or broken really. But otherwise, Vernon is cool with it, he laughs a little, he goofs with other pilots, he has friends - sometimes he goes out with Lee Chan the Haas pilot. Sometimes he cracks jokes with Mingyu and Wonwoo - the Red Bull duo. So sometimes press is actually fun, and even tho Vernon is an accomplished guy in his field pole and race win on his name he also still has idols on the paddocks because he is against names like Choi Seungcheol and Hong Joshua.

So Vernon enjoys his life really, he isn't one to overthinking about what choosing this type of life made him lose. He gained so much that it would be unfair to do that, to wonder what it could be.

But when Vernon feels like his team is not even hearing his complaint about how the aerodynamics of the car is fucked up Vernon wants to just crash the car and scream in the box. What the fuck? Fix the gooddamn wing for fuck's sake. 

But Vernon doesn't scream in the middle of the box, it wouldn't be good for the press, and Vernon is calm he is chill, but he isn't dumb. He does this when the engineering team, himself, and Choi Minho, his team principal, are in a more private area.

"What the hell? I've been complaining about the front wing since the Australia GP."

"We have been working on the wing." The engineering girl slash prodigy answers.

"And why the fuck is not working properly? This car will fly out of the track if a single drop of rain falls." Vernon continues because he is the one putting his life on the line really. Why no one is giving a fuck about what he has been saying.

"We are trying, you know about regulations we cant-" You try to say as if everybody doesn't remember that FIA is actually the worst ever and it is your job to care about regulations too.

"Oh my fucking God. I gonna crash this car in the first fucking lap I am not even kidding." Vernon says pacing around the table, he hates the whole can't do won't do FIA-related frustration. 

"Ok, Vernon you know we can't really do anything about it right now," Minho says arms crossed. "So stop bitching about it, and no you will not crash my car in the first lap you are not stupid." And now Vernon knows he can't really crash his car but he feels the urge to do it nonetheless, Minho can scrap his bank account he doesn't care, he can go fucking penny less but he will have his front wing fixed up.

 "You," Minho says pointing at you and you are actually relieved, you can take the screams of the team principal - even tho Minho is not near screaming, but taking shit from the pilot? Not gonna happen "For fuck sake take his complaint and actually do something about it for the next GP, you have like 5 people that could have been working for NASA in the team if he complains again about this mothefucker wing again I gonna have a stroke," he says leaving the room.

"Why do you guys only act when I bring Choi Minho to the room?" Vernon asks feeling dumb and to be honest disrespected. He knows he is young, he knows he is new, but he was brought to the team for a reason.

"Not that it matters," You say already picking the things around the table, probably from a previous meeting. "But he is my boss, not you Vernon."

"I am the one inside the car," Vernon says trying to attain some kind of respect or authority.

"Ok, that's not relevant to me whatsoever. I work designing a car that if we put a dog behind the wheel is gonna be fast so-" You say because you are tired this front wing nightmare has been going on for more than the australia grand prix actually, it's always the same problem, again and again, your team fixes it but it always comes back to life like a zombie or something.

"Did you just say that I am not relevant? Are you kidding me?" Vernon actually scoffs because of course he knew when he arrived in Mercedes that the team is bigger than him, he knew what all the critics said, but being treated that poorly by a co-worker? Fucked up man.

"That's not what I meant-"

"Yeah yeah yeah like Im just a dumb kid on the wheel, that's what you meant. I really thought we could build a nice relationship and all-" Vernon cuts you already opening up his overall because it is hot as fuck, like one step away from dying hot. "I guess the civil war thing going on wasn't in my plans but if you guys on the engineering want that I have no problem whatsoever in being a fucking dick."

Vernon says almost dashing to his trailer, fucking stupid overalls dangling around his waist because if one of the journalists asks him something about his wing or his time or how Kim Mingyu got the pole, Choi Minho is not the only one who will have a stroke. Health care plans and his life insurance will skyrocket.

After Vernon takes a shower, he realizes how dumb and idiotic he is. This happens a lot. Vernon doesn't really know how to deal with his rage, so when the anger dissipates, he just ends up regretting everything. 

Regretting is not even close to the proper word. When Vernon analyzes the chances of him fucking up his entire year because you simply do not rage war on your engineering team - that was like a rule, not a rule scratch that, it was a dogma. A rule you can break, if you try that shit on a dogma, you will root in hell. The hell being Vernon's worst nightmare - having the team ask him to pull aside to the other driver because he can't keep up, the reason? His shitty ass front wing.

But when the actual race comes and Vernon starts the race in third and finishes up in 5th place, he doesn't know who will drop dead first, him or Choi Minho. 

"Do we need a meeting between grand prix to fix this hellhole you guys have been calling a car?" His boss asks and Vernon can see you just rolling your eyes. Dude, that's crazy. Did you just roll your eyes to Choi Minho? That was insane. 

And Vernon coped the only way he knew - developing a wealth obsession fueled by hatred, all because you didn't give him his wing and a roll of your eyes at Choi Minho.

Before that, Vernon really didn't have a problem with you. Since he moved to Mercedes everything was great! Great team! New and more powerful car! Great teammate - Lee Jihoon, who actually took Vernon under his wing. The pre-season was great, and he didn't have problems with you whenever you two had to talk about the development stage of the car. 

Actually, Vernon finds you interesting really, that's not a lot of women in F1, and the majority of the women actually deal with public relations or team management like Kwon Boa. He always saw you around, really, always in jeans, tennis, and a Mercedes shirt. Sometimes with glasses, sometimes with a cap on. Always chatting with someone, sometimes writing things down on a notebook, sometimes explaining something. 

He didn't actually have any problems with you. He didn't have a reason, but now? Now Vernon can't really back off, can he? God, he was not a fighter and neither a hater, but he wasn't a coward either. 

So when his one-week break is cut short and people send him to Northamptonshire Vernon is angry because really: 1st he could use a few days off, 2nd between the Emilia-Romagna and the Monaco GP he had booked a crazy Airbnb in Cannes.

Now he was stuck in this hell hole of a place, in a way too cold meeting room, with like the whole engineering team and his boss. Not ideal. So Vernon's mind just wonders really, he thinks about how he needs to catch up on his favorite TV show, maybe he can check on his family later, or call his friend Boo Seungkwan - maybe he would call Seungkwan to Monaco is bouge enough for Seungkwan.

“And that's why we try to fix the front wing, but it seems like the aerodynamic problem is always back. Lee Seokmin actually did design another front wing at the start of the pre-season but you guys said that this one had a better grip” You finish the whole ppt-presentation, sometimes you hated your job so much, and by sometimes you meant the whole ppt presentation of a problem that we can`t actually fix because of regulations and because you guys main driver didn't do proper feedback in the first place. And now you have a problem in your hands, that to begin with, it wasn't even yours. 

“So the best thing we can do is?” Choi Minho asks and you laugh because right now you are not the one treating Vernon like a damn child on the wheel, it is Choi Minho, but Vernon is too engrossed in his own mind to notice or he feigns ignorance because it is Choi Minho who is talking, not you the mere translator girl for the engineering team. 

“We can try always the wet tire even if it's just light, and we can always use the soft tire at the beginning of the race it is the less durable but if he is in a good position to start with we can always call him back-”

“So, we did this three-hour meeting” Vernon actually checked his watch. It was a tree hour meeting for god`s sake. “for the resolution being soft tire and pray for a good pit stop? Are we crazy?”

“If you heard about FIA rules we cannot-” You try to speak but really, you don't even know why you start when you know you gonna be ignored by the man in the room and it’s F1 there is always a man in the room, always.

“Ok ok,” Vernon interrupts. “Just so you know that’s crazy, everything about this wing situation is crazy, we are just handling the championship, we are not even close to being - I don't know? 5th fucking place.” 

“We need to make the legal team re-analyze the rules,” Minho says contemplative and not really angry, and to be honest you wouldn't be either because it is true, but Vernon could be less bitch about it because it is not your fault either

“Just that? Ok,” Vernon says and he gets up because when Minho talks about the legal team it`s gonna take 4 to 6 days to actually find a loophole in the damn manual, but hey ok, it's fine, Vernon it’s chill, but not chill enough because the next moment his mouth is moving. “Maybe you could ask for the engineering team to work on that too I don't know just a thought” 

And you laugh, loud and clear. And Vernon is truly spooked. What the heck? Are you going crazy? Has the excruciating work and the insane hours with the weekly jetlag made you crazy? 

“Yeah Minho,” you say, picking up the papers. Why do you always pick up? Are they top-secret papers? Vernon never thought about corporate espionage, but it may be a thing. “Maybe you can ask your drivers for proper feedback when I ask them about grip and wings and start making them say whole sentences, not it's bad and a sad emoji. If we did send a form about this shit we wouldn't have this problem,” You actually leave them room, but Minho and Vernon continue listening to your voice down the hall. “Oh Vernon, how it’s going with the car. Make them say 4 whole sentences and not it's chill. Maybe that would help” and then you scream. “Just a thought."

“I mean” Choi Minho starts getting up too. “Nothing against a rivalry in the workplace, dang in my times, it was worse. But if I get an actual complaint - Humans Resources or Legal Team involved - I am so firing both of you, and I am not even caring about labor law or whatever.” 

And Vernon thinks it's weird how he was the first one to get up and the last one out of the meeting room.

So when Vernon actually arrives in Monaco - Boo Seungkwan, his best friend since birth, on his side, the civil war in his team is still going on at full speed. The tire strategy is still in place. Choi Minho still looks at him every five minutes like a babysitter. You still give a side eye every time you both share a room, Vernon is even more aware that you roll your eyes at everyone. Are you just discontent with everything?

But he doesn't think so when he sees you and Jeonghan, the team strategy, and Jun, one of the mechanics, laughing while eating lunch. Vernon is puzzled really why the fuck is he, Choi Minho, and the whole team getting side eyes and Jeonghan and Jun receiving beautiful smiles and even laughs? That's weird, more than weird, that's unfair really.

"What's going on in your head?" Boo Seungkwan asks, actually stealing a bite of Vernon chicken's breast. 

"Just, you know the whole war in the team. That's the girl that is actually making my life hell." Vernon says voice low like he is telling Seungkwan a secret, trying to be discreet. 

"That one?" Seungkwan asks loud and not caring about the top secret war going on, apparently. "Oh, Vernon, she is pretty."

"And?" Vernon thinks puzzled because really he never stopped to think about it. "Ok, ok, stop looking," Vernon says when he sees Jeonghan looking back at his table, grabbing Seungkwan and almost getting up and turning Seungkwan`s head himself. God.

"You didn't tell me she was pretty." Seungkwan acts like it was the most important thing ever. Missing the point, really, because the most important thing ever in this whole ordeal was Vernon's career and the probability of it ending abruptly. 

"Yeah, because it is not important, I mean…" Vernon trails off because again, he never stopped really, but thinking about you are pretty. Or at least not recently. Vernon thinks back when you two met in the pre-season and he may have blushed once or twice talking to you in the first days, but he wouldn't call it a crush.

"Hey Vernon," Jeonghan says, stopping at his side. "We will go over the strategy at 3 pm for the first free practice, so if you need anything, just give us a heads up before."

"Oh, sure man, actually I was thinking about the ty-" Vernon starts.

"Bye guys, if I hear one more driver talking about how they don’t want to start with a soft tire today, I'm gonna jump the nearest cliff." You say, lacing arms with Jun and just dragging him.

"Oh, she is feisty today," Jeonghan laughs. "Okay, anyway, you can bring everything to the team, right? I need to actually get some information with her so-" 

"Sure, sure man, no big." 

“Yeah," Boo Seungkwan just laughs, and laughs, he actually almost falls backward type of laughing “When was the last time you got laid?"

"Hm?" Out of nowhere? What the heck was going on in his friend’s mind? But Vernon actually needs time to think about it, fuck, when was the last time? Vernon didn’t even remember with whom. "I don't know a few weeks?"

"Months right?" Seungkwan answered in a heartbeat, chewing on a long French fries.

"Maybe dude, you know it is hard when I am always on the go." And it was hard, Vernon wasn’t lying. He didn’t enjoy the whole no-string attached really, and after he got a little famous - in a very niche type of famous he knew that, he was no rockstar type of guy, but still, he enjoyed it even less.

"Yeah didn't peg you for doing in the workplace kind of guy, always talking about how it is precious and nothing can disturb the paddock’s energy,” Seungkwan says making Vernon almost choke on his food.

“First, that is the rule that applies when you want to bring your boyfriend Kwon Soonyoung because last time he almost broke my trophy,” Vernon can actually feel the chill going through his body just remembering the scene that his traumatized brain conjures up, it was his first grand prix win and Seungkwan boyfriend almost knocked it down. “second we are not doing anything. We are actually enemies” 

“Oh,” Seungkwan stops, truly stops, dropping his fork and knife, and he stares at Vernon, but Vernon knows it is not a stare, Seungkwan is analyzing Vernon like he always did. “Well, that's even worse, because when it happens - see not if, I said when it's going to be a nuclear bomb, thanks good I am not going to Spain with you and me and my lovely boyfriend will be having a few days off in Monaco so…” 

The problem was that Seungkwan was always annoyingly right. Seungkwan was right when he said Vernon's last relationship wouldn't last more than 3 months. Seungkwan was also right about Vernon's first love and second. Seungkwan had this superpower really, Seungkwan was always there to see the picture better before Vernon did.

But Vernon always just shrugged and went to his next task, now free practice. And Vernon did slightly better than he thought - 4th place. So he wasn't actually totally dejected after the press asked him about the probability of rain. Everything was fine until Vernon saw the little orange cat hiding in the corner of the Mercedes trailer.

Vernon squatted and tried to call the little kitten really, it was tiny and made Vernon's heart break a little because when the cat was approaching him Vernon saw how he was limping, front paw looking hurt. Also, the little dude looked muddy. He may hate Vernon for it, but he needed a good wash.

"Hey," You say looking at Vernon who just started stroking the orange cat fur. "I was just-" You point at the water container.

"Ah yeah," Vernon says, giving you a nod. "I was thinking of finding something so this little guy can eat but-"

"We don't know anything around, same." You say squatting on Vernon's side and putting the container on the ground, little dude giving you both a meow.

"Could we-" Vernon starts but you just cut him.

"Make a trainee do the hard work? Make them go to the nearest supermarket, " you say, laughing a little, like you laugh with others. And Vernon thinks that maybe your brain is too fast, two-step forwards already, ahead of everyone, always.

"Yeah, I was thinking about asking someone or even the Grand Prix organizers to even get a vet around. I think something is wrong with his paw." Vernon points at the cat, and he stops for a minute thinking about how he is so used to being in the paddock but not really knowing his way around it. He strokes the cat again, almost feeling the urge to pick him up and go around asking if anyone knows a vet.

"You shouldn't be touching him." You say and Vernon feels a little offended. Did you enjoy telling him what to do? Vernon could take it, he didn't like it, but when it was about the race he could take it, but about a cat? Really? "Like, for health reasons." 

"Yeah, I was thinking about taking him to the trailer, but if he has fleas, that would be a nightmare," Vernon says hand still scratching the little cat like the rebel he was. 

"Can you-" You trail off, looking around, and Vernon can almost see your brain working inside your skull.

"What?"

"Look, we have like two options.” You say getting up and fixing your pants. And Vernon thinks that Seungkwan was actually right shit, you are actually and objectively pretty. “You can be an asshole and make someone do the job just because you are throwing a i am a star fit"

"Or?"

"You could totally do your I am a heartthrob bit on the communication team newbie, she kinda has a crush on you, so she would totally find Seb a vet place. Just don't let Minghao know.” Vernon just feels like a lot of what you just said goes over his head because it really doesn’t make sense to him, Heartthrob what? Crush who? Seb? 

"Are we calling him Seb?"

"I mean he just gives me Sebastian Vettel energy all around you know, he is kind of shy and orange," you say trying not to sound dumb, feeling a little anxious - because Vernon always made you feel this way, an uneasy feeling paired with his low voice.

"Yeah, I can see that” and Vernon smiles, dude the cat really looks like Sebastian. God - in that exact moment Vernon knows that his life is fucked up, he is picking a stray cat when the next 3 weeks he will be jumping from airplane to airplane. But look at him, Vernon can't leave Seb in a freaking paddock, in the end of the week everything will be gone.

"So? Which one? I'm pretty sure we can try just telling Minho you went rogue as the third option but…"

"The heartthrob one just-" Vernon can feel his forehead itch and the beginning of a headache. He can't do a heartthrob bit. What is he talking about? "Just show me the way."

"I need your keys," you say to Vernon, hand open in his direction "First we need a box and a towel. We can't let little Seb on the loose."

"He is a little difficult, though. Pretty sure he won't stay in the box," Vernon tells you already giving you his key.

"I think I can steal a few eggs for him on the way. If they are boiled, it won't be a problem. He seems hungry enough."

And Vernon actually plays with Seb until you arrive, a box filled with Vernon's towel - probably the one he used this morning, and a plastic plate full of eggs. And then you are already dragging Vernon around to the second task - the heartthrob bit. And Vernon thinks about how quick on your feet you are - figuratively, and literally, you walk really fast. Later, you tell him that is a job thing, not a you thing. Apparently to be an F1 engineer you need to think fast, walk quickly, and solve everyone's problems.

Vernon did the heartthrob bit - it actually ended up with the newbie taking Seb to the vet, you gave her a to-do list (1 - check his paw, 2 - check for fleas, 3 - don't forget the shots!!!) and Vernon's credit card. But Vernon still with a weird taste in his mouth. How did you know the newbie had a crush on him? That's totally weird.

But hey the trainee actually found a vet, and she brings Seb back with shots and a bath. And now Vernon is staring at his cat, thinking about how if he needs to call the hotel to check about the animal policy, maybe he could do the heartthrob bit to the hotel manager. Or he could leave Seb unattended, he could eat something, chew his race boot, or - then Vernon hears a knock, which is weird of course because Vernon doesn't actually receive visits in the motor home, people know that Vernon is sensitive about that - no fans, no press, no knocking when he is in the motorhome.

"Hi," you say as soon as Vernon opens his door, "just came to see the little guy."

"Oh, yeah sure," of course it was you, the only person who doesn't actually care about Vernon’s word and maybe well-being, but Vernon kind of understands, Seb is cute, "he looks tired tho."

"It's okay, I just came to give him some love." You say one digit going between Seb’s ear, squatting on the floor, letting Seb chill in his place, "Are you going to the hotel?" 

"I don't know,” Vernon scratches his kneck because it is true, he doesn’t actually have any idea what he is about to do, maybe he can take his race boots and everything essential so Seb doesn't chew on it, "I need to go but I can’t leave him alone but also I can’t sleep on the couch, it will fuck up my neck and also can’t just not sleep."

"You can go, I can sleep here on the bed, not a problem." You say sitting on the floor, Seb little groggy but wake, you pick him up and put him on your lap, and he just purr. What the hell? His cat is purring? For another person? What?

"I can’t let you do that,” he can’t because his cat is already in love and because he also knows that his motorhome bed is just uncomfortable. 

"Don’t worry, we are just-" you say finally looking at Vernon’s eyes, "co-parenting" You say and Vernon feels like a bomb just dropped, and the whole humanity just vanished, he can hear a pin drop.

"Co-pareting? A cat?" Vernon says like his brain is not really functioning.

"Yeah Vernon,” You start, and Vernon can see a small smile across your face, “people have different family arrangements. You, me, and Seb, divorced people with a kid, it's okay." 

"Divorced?" Vernon actually lets out a laugh, a scoff really. Why are you trying to mess with him ? This is not even close to normal.

"Yeah we are not on great terms but we sacrifice for him."

Vernon leaves - not because you said he could, not because you found a solution, but because it was the right thing to do for his performance really. Vernon leaves because his neck is a prized possession, and because he needs to sleep , he needs his best reaction time. And Vernon is an athlete. People may say that driving a car is not a sport, but people don’t know how much the g-force makes his neck almost break. But when Vernon lays in bed with his special pillow, Vernon can’t actually sleep. His mind goes back to his motorhome, to his just-for-stretching bed, and never actually sleeps. His mind, Vernon finds out, is going back to you sleeping in that awful bad, to the way you treat the little cat like it can break, and the way that every time your hand goes against the cat's fur Venon can actually feel the love.

Vernon is so fucked.

He starts to think that Seungkwan is actually right.

And Vernon can't actually sleep because you are tormenting his mind and Seungkwan's voice telling him 'I told you so' echoes in his mind.

Even tho not getting the eight-hour sleep Vernon gets what his system needs to be quick on his reactions -  Wonwoo and Seungcheol actually crash in front of him, debris over his head and Vernon has control enough to just not crash in the crash in the narrows streets of Monaco. Nightmare, really. Vernon finishes in third because of it, and even tho he is in the podium, he can't actually feel happy about it.

Maybe that's really why Vernon can't have his car with a fucked up wing because it can mean life and death. Later that day he makes sure to go check with both drivers - halo is ugly as fuck but saves lives.

Vernon is thankful that he doesn't have time to actually think about life and death because you are shoving him into a funny bag and telling him to put Seb inside and telling him that you actually are about to sit next to him. So Vernon ends up with a cat bag on his lap, Seb strangely chills about everything, your hand going inside the bag just to stroke his fur.

He ends up sleeping the flight, which is only about 1h40 minutes, but Vernon feels like he needed that nap.

The perception of time in the world of F1 is really truly bizarre. Vernon is always running, always thinking about how he can go faster, even when he is doing the press talk. Minghao walks faster, and explains everything for Vernon in 3 sentences, if it is a sponsor or if it is a journalist, if he needs to actually talk about the car, or if it is a 'content' bit. 

But when Vernon is going around the paddock and see you leaning against Jeonghan smile bright and full Vernon actually stops on his track, it is late, and everything is figured out in the paddock why the hell are you and Jeonghan laughing about?

"Come on, Vern," Minghao calls him, making his neck turn. "Come on, we have three more, and if I don't arrive in time for my dinner with Mika, she is going to kill me."

So Vernon lets Minghao drag him across the paddock. But his mind is still on the scene, you leaning and smiling against Jeonghan, and Vernon doesn't want to, but he feels jealous. He wants to be Jeonghan so fucking bad.

Vernon really doesn't have much time to think about it, he needs to sleep, watch his water intake, and think about his neck - his neck is his most important body part as a f1 driver, and he did think his neck was feeling a little funny. But every time Vernon sits and has time to himself, his brain conjures the image of you and Jeonghan in his eyelid.

Vernon doesn't think it was because of his neck or because his sleep was extremely shitty but the next day, his car crashes against a brick wall. Not great. Not ideal. Not fun either. So Vernon does what he needs to do. Even if he feels fine and got out of the car on his own, he needs his trip to the hospital. Turns out a few hours later, the medical team is sure that Vernon is not dying, but he may have a concussion.

When Vernon is back in his motor home to pick Seb back to the hotel (this time he actually made sure it was okay with the hotel's policy) he founds you lying on his useless motor home bed.

"Hey," you say getting up the bed "are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah," Vernon drops his bag on the floor and sits down by your side. "Just a concussion."

"Okay," you say, looking at Vernon, like actually looking at him searching for something. "I was scared it wasn't a pretty scene, Vernon."

"I know, but I'm okay," but Vernon is so so tired, he is okay and he feels okay but he feels the urge to just lie in this horrible bed and just stay in it, he doesn’t even care about his neck really - he can call for physiotherapy or something. 

"Still, the whole team was worried, you don’t need to act like it wasn’t scary,” you say and Vernon just feels so heavy, like his whole body is made of bricks, even tho he is ok with it, he is used to it really, but the crash still takes a tool on his body "and you should have gone directly to the hotel"

"I was just picking Seb up," Vernon just lies on that horrible bed and it doesn’t really seem that bad, or he is just so tired that even lying on the floor seems like a good option now. His mind is tired too - Vernon can’t even think.

"You didn't need to do that. You could've ringed me up, you know, co-parenting,” you say, voice small, and Vernon's hazed mind almost doesn’t catch it.

"Yeah," Vernon scoffs. Really, he didn’t even think about texting you,  "I don't think I have your number"

"Oh shit," You say picking up Vernon's phone and putting it in front of his face to unlock his phone, "ok gonna save my number you need to send me Seb pics I don't think you should bring him up, we have a week off you are probably going back to England right? You should hire someone to go see him daily or-" 

Vernon just feels the urge to actually kiss you. You are just there, cat on your lap, thinking about how Vernon shouldn't bring Seb around anymore, you are so so worried about his health and if he is getting stressed, and you go on about how Vernon just needs to let him rest in his place in England even tho it would be super hard for you because you are getting used to distress, every work day you pop up in Vernon motor home to say hi to the cat - and to Vernon, it all feels like a freaking lullaby, he actually nestles himself in the bed, searching for the better position to just sleeps. 

"See," you say to Vernon when you see how dozed off he is "you never pay attention." 

"I am paying attention," Vernon answers, eyes still shut but not actually sleeping. 

"You are not. You are zoomed out," You say, lying on his side, legs dangling out of the bed.  "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing really," Vernon says because he is not really thinking about anything concrete really, his brain is all over the place.

"Vern," you actually whine, "I thought we were becoming friends parenting the same kid"

"We are becoming friends" Vernon laughs because that is weird right? “I have your phone now we are definitely friends”

"See? So tell me, what's on your mind lately?" You try again, but Vernon just hums."You seem actually stressed lately. Is Minho bothering you? I  know the results are not great, but i promise we are trying" 

"I know, I know, don't worry about that." And Vernon feels actually bad because it is the first time he can feel that you are a little guilty, no scratch that, tired? Vernon can’t really catch the feeling, but he knows that you care. 

“I am not worried about that, I care about the results but you crashed today, the med team said you may have a concussion, and I don’t know if you are just zooming out in an ok way or zooming out in a concussion-induced way.” 

“It’s not the concussion the hospital let me go, it is just, I’m just tired” Vernon feels your hand on his hair, petting him, almost like you do with Seb, and Vernon just let himself sleep feeling the affection in the way your fingers travel in his skull. 

The thing is, even when Vernon is in his house in England he doesn't really feel at home, because it is a company provided apartment, and to be fair Vernon didn't put a lot of effort in it. So in his week off Vernon tries to focus on his physical training, on his neck, on his diet, on sleeping, but every time his phone vibrates Vernon just feels giddy and excited because 80% of the time it is just you reacting to Seb's pics Vernon sent.

Vernon tries not to think about how fast you answer his messages or how sometimes you send audio snips, and Vernon doesn't feel angry - he always hated audio message god. Vernon also hated calls but one night he actually video calls you and you are already in bed but you said you wanted to say goodnight to Seb but you and Vernon spends more than an hour chatting about nothing and everything. 

When the time comes, Vernon ponders; leaving Seb behind or actually flying with the cat. So he just calls Boo Seungkwan to babysit Sebastian - the hours of flight and the jetlag would just make him stressed, even tho Vernon thinks he is the worst person ever adopting a cat to just let him stay in an empty apartment even tho Seungkwan will make sure he is eating, and Vernon actually begged 3 times to Seungkwan check Seb's litter box.

To everyone's surprise, Vernon actually gets a pole position. To be honest, even to Vernon and his team it was a surprise, too. But it was a good one. You congratulated him, and that night, you and Vernon called Seungkwan and spent like 45 minutes talking to a cat and cooing together - like parents on a holiday.

Vernon thinks it's kinda weird really - how you two fell into this dynamic of sharing a pet, and in a way, you two turned into friends too. So when Vernon is ready to get out to his car you are the last one to greet him, and Vernon is not really superstitious but he thinks he will make sure that this turns into a new team ritual.

When Vernon crosses the finish line, he feels it - the feeling that Vernon always chased in a way. When he hears the screams and laughs on his radio, he feels he can actually let go and just enjoy. He did. He won a grand prix again.

And when Vernon is showered with champagne, hears his national anthem, and jumps to the crowd he thinks about you. He tries to find you really but Minghao just directs him to the press area.

“Hey,” you say, popping your head in the door crack after knocking on his door. “Heard you were looking for me.”

“Yeah yeah.” And Vernon feels sticky. His whole body is covered in champagne. He is looking like a mess, but god, he is so so happy. “Didn’t see you in the celebration.” 

“I was around. Saw everything, don't worry" You move and close the door acting like you guys didn't accomplish the best thing in the whole world because that's how Vernon feels like he is on top of the world. 

“No no-” Vernon's smile is so big, and he touches your arms, and he actually stops, and he looks at you. “We did! We actually did it!” 

“You did it" you say almost shoving him, but Vernon's hands don't leave your arms - hot and sticky against your skin, "don't need to be humble it was a great race on your side-”

“No no no listen, we both did it. We did it together. We are sharing this," Vernon says - smile still big across his face, he is so sweaty why do you think that seeing Vernon happy is the best thing ever? “Come on, say it”

“We did it” You say smiling, not even because you are happy with his win - you are, you are happy for the team, and you are happy for Vernon, but Vernon is so happy and in a way is so infectious you just can not smile like him.

“We sure did,” and Vernon hugs you, head dropping on your shoulder, “god-”

“What?"

“You smell nice," Vernon says voice muffled.

“Thank you, you smell like really nice champagne," you say with a laugh, god Vernon is so happy, and there is only one thing that would make him happier -

"And-” He tries to master his courage to say, “and I wish I could kiss you.”

When Vernon kisses you, he almost feels the breeze, almost feeling the physical sensations that involve flying, because, in his head, he is already 10 thousand feet high. He feels so out of it that Vernon just let you take what you want for him. God, you want so much. 

Vernon can feel it. He feels in the way your fingers hold his jaw. He feels in the way your mouth goes together, like two pieces made to fit each other. He feels in the way that you react when his hands hold your hips so tightly, whimpering in his mouth.

Vernon is not one to complain about speed, but when his whole world is spinning and everything is going so fucking fast he wishes he could stop the time, make it go backward, make it go slower. 

His whole life, he fought against the clock. If he was two seconds faster if he didn't waste milliseconds in the second curve. Vernon was always running, but now, fuck Vernon wishes he could go slow.

So Vernon chooses to take his time, not hurry. He kisses you slowly. The way that he trails his lips against your jaw is slow, and the way that his hands travel to your ribcage is slow.

"Vernon," you try to call his attention, to make him hurry, to make him speed up, but the only thing that Vernon gives you is a non-committal noise.

And Vernon thinks you are in a fucking trailer, with a not-great bed, and he has one better - bigger and with his trusted neck pillow but everything just shatters when someone knocks on his door.

And when Vernon opens the door and sees Minghao he thinks two things: Minghao is his worst enemy really, Minghao must hate him. The second one? Vernon asks himself how many wins he needs in his career to do a contract clause saying he is never doing press again, if someone asks him to do an interview or youtube content he is allowed to change teams before the end of his contract.

Vernon goes back to everything needs to move fast behavior. You two jump on a plane, and again, Vernon has his week off - while you need to go to Austria to check everything related to the engineering team. So when Vernon arrives and Seb purrs against his leg, he films it and sends it to you. When Vernon is chilling on his bed and Seb acts like Vernon's body is his personal pillow, he films it and sends it to you. When you say you are crying because you miss the cat, Vernon calls you and says you can knock on his door anytime. 

When Vernon arrives in the paddock the first thing he does is ask Jun where you were - meeting room, you had a meeting with Jeonghan and Minho, but when Vernon knocks on the door you are alone.

"You really did it." It's the first thing you say to Vernon.

"Yeah" He shrugs. "it was a promise."

"It looks good on you," you say, sitting in front of him at the table, hand touching Vernon’s hair, feeling the urge to ruffle it. 

"So, like, my last meal was airplane food, so I was thinking about taking you to dinner," Vernon says, and you just think how it is unfair that even tho he is not conscious of it, he is doing the heartthrob thing, the lazy eyes, the small smile, the unkept hair - now blonde.

"Hm-" you try your best to not just throw your papers and forget you have an actual job just because Vernon smiled at you, "I don't know if I am free, actually Minho was talking about going over the strategy with you so-"

"Yeah? Ok, I can call him and say the airplane gave me a headache so," Vernon picks his phone up and starts typing something, "I don't know Austrian food that well but we can always go to an Italian."

"Italian, I prefer Italian," you say, chin resting on your hand and just admiring Vernon. You are pretty sure if you were a cartoon, they would draw you with heart eyes.

"Nice."

You let Vernon wine and dine you. The restaurant was nice, and it was even nicer that you and Vernon sat side by side in low light, and you can just rest your head on his shoulder because you were truly tired and because every time you did that you could actually sniff Vernon a bit, and he smells so so good. 

You guys just chat about everything, and at some point, Vernon actually unlocks his phone and just lets you browse his gallery (90% of it is Seb's pics or videos, and the other 10% were the pics you sent him about your day - a coffee, a building, anything silly that made you smile), and looking at it made your heart melt.

In a silent agreement, you just hop in Vernon's Uber and end up on his hotel bed, with Vernon on top of you. 

Vernon kisses you slowly like he has all the time in the world - and you are weak enough for him, so you don't complain, you don't hurry him. To be honest you don't want him to hurry either, you are enjoying the way Vernon is nested between your legs, the way you can feel his weight on your body, and the way that his hands feel against your neck.

The way Vernon touches you makes you feel treasured, makes your heart full, and makes you want to make him feel the same way, and you try your best.

You try when your hands travel to his biceps, squeezing it the way his hands tighten against your hips. You try when your hand goes through his hair when he kisses your neck. You try when Vernon's hands travel under your shirt and you kiss his cheeks because it's the only place you reach.

Vernon doesn't think, and he doesn't try. He just does, and he accepts what you give him.

When Vernon outright grinds on you and you whimper, Vernon accepts it. When your hands claw at his shirt, he accepts, and when he gets off, you take his shirt off and see you doing the same. Vernon thinks that maybe you gonna give him more than he can take.

You don't rush him, you let Vernon watch you, but you feel rushed, so you get up as well, mouth. chasing Vernon's while you take off your bra. 

The way Vernon holds you makes your mind spin. The way his firm body feels against yours, and how his hands feel against your back. And even though you try, Vernon still kisses you slowly.

Vernon holds you when he makes you lie on the bed, "baby lemme just-" he says, giving your hips a small kiss, and opening the button of your pants, when he takes your pants off you can feel his digits traveling against your leg and you are sure he can feel the goosebumps on your skin.

Vernon's fingers close against your ankle, and Vernon brings it against his mouth, "Vern " you try to call him, and you feel dumb enough that you just beg. And Vernon kisses you again, one hand on your chest and the other grabbing your hips.

And you think you can take slow when Vernon is on top of you, legs tangled, his lips now on your neck. Every time your hips move together Vernon hums against your skin and you wish he was naked already. But when Vernon's lips find your chest you can't really complain because you feel so lost, he takes one of your nipples in your mouth, and he gives attention to the other one too, taking your nipple between two fingers and toying with it

When Vernon releases your breast with a pop you remember to call him, "Vern please"

"What?" He says hands toying with your panty line, digits hot against your hips.

"Your pants," you say, feeling your mouth dry, body buzzing.

"Oh right," Vernon says and you already feel remorseful when Vernon detaches his body from yours. 

You try to reach Vernon with your hands, palms against his skin, on his chest, on his abs, on his thighs. Everywhere - trying to placate the lack of the feeling of his body against yours. 

When Vernon finishes getting his pants off he holds your head, hand against your nape and jaw and he kisses you, and you feel a little better thinking he suffered like you did in those milliseconds that your bodies have been apart from each other.

And Vernon did, and when he stops to look at you, to really look, tracing his thumb against your mouth and you open just enough for your tongue to lap at his digit Vernon thinks he is going crazy. 

God, you are just so pretty on his bed, hair messy, trails of his kiss against your skin. Vernon knows he is so fucking lucky, and if he could he would stop the time, he would treasure every second - he would go so fucking slow he would make the clock go backward. You, however, don't really care, you just touch Vernon, hand under his underwear giving his dick a few pumps while Vernon's hands leave an imprint on your ribcages.

Vernon helps you a little, one hand on your hips and another one lowering his underwear, his dick finally free. When Vernon looks down, he can see how red his skin is - a blush coloring his chest, he can also see how your thumb just goes smoothly against his cockhead and Vernon thinks he might go insane.

"Do you need to-" Vernon asks while trying to return the feeling, hand going to your clothed pussy, pressing against it and making you whimper.

"No, no, I am ok," You say, almost in a way to make Vernon hurry up, "You can just fuck me."

"Yeah yeah ok," Vernon says, and you can feel the way his dicks enters you while Vernon's tongue lick his lips.

Vernon fucks you slowly, body pressed against yours, one of his hands holding your head - almost pressing you against his, his lips never leaving your cheek. And it is almost excruciating - the way Vernon fucks you, so slowly and yet so fucking good.

You try to tell him in the way your hands hold his neck, the way you feel his shoulder blades under your hands, the way you want to touch the expanses of his back. 

It's good, and you could live like that - in Vernon's warm embrace. But you are feeling desperate enough so you just beg, "Vern, faster", and not a second late Vernon is fucking you harder. He picks himself up, knees on the bed, holding your legs on the side of his waist. And god he hits you so deep, you just need a little more.

"Fuck you are so hot," Vernon says almost there when he sees your hand toying with your clit.

"I am so close," You say to him and you can feel how his hands tighten against your thighs, how he picks up his pace, how he fucks you harder.

And then it washes over you, and it hits Vernon - because of the way he continues to fuck you after it, but then you can feel his body against yours, his mouth chasing yours, and you just laugh between kisses because yeah, Vernon is a lazy kisser, that just how he is, but goddamn you love it.

In that weekend Vernon makes a ritual of kissing you, he kisses you every time he can really, but he makes a point of stealing a kiss before the free practice - in his motorhome. He does it again before the race, he ends up in second place. He kisses you again when you jump at him saying that he is the best - and he wants to argue because he just ended in second place, but it's you so he just takes it.

When Vernon is showered, clean, and not sticky from champagne he sees you sleeping in his horrible motorhome bed, and he just can't let you - you guys have a flight to catch.

"Hey, come on let's go home, Seb is missing you," Vernon says trying to wake you up.

#t: chwe hansol #Vernon fanfic #Vernon Smut #Seventeen Fanfic #Seventeen Smut #Vernon Fic #Seventeen Fic #t: writting #t: seventeen #svt smut #choi hansol fic

[thespineoftherighteous]

aftg headcanon: dan and andrew actually become friends in dans senior year

so idr if this is in the ec or not but i think the upperclassmen had a great time at edens twilight on halloween and they end up going out with the monsters on a semi-regular basis. nora never mentions it but i reckon edens has a really nice smoking area where neil and andrew will go out for a cig. this is nothing groundbreaking so far BUT my hc is that dan used to smoke in high school (like on break at the club with her sisters), and still occasionally will crash a cig off someone when shes drunk. so please join me in picturing a Very trashed dan wilds pleading with a bemused andrew to give her a cigarette

also i love the idea of when andrew actually starts caring abt exy he seeks dan out to talk to her abt the team, like things hes noticed abt the backline or whatever. the first time dan about jumps out her skin when andrew is waiting for her after class but then he just wants to tell her about a new backline strategy hes thought of

OOH GOOD STUFF

I'm such a slut for the foxes becoming closer, especially inter-upperclassmen/monsters relationships so this is right up my lane. I think the upperclassmen DO start going out with the monsters and while Andrew probably has no interest in becoming close with the upperclassmen, Dan is the one most desperate for closer connection so I think she'd make a point of trying to learn what needs to be done and how to approach Andrew in the way that he'll accept. and I think it takes some time and a lot of being played with by Andrew before it becomes not unusual for them to be comfortable spending time with each other.

anyway I keep going back and forth on whether dan would be a smoker because I feel like she'd be the type of athlete to hate smoking/drugs (maybe?) but honestly for sake of this hc, fuck it. I think it'd also amuse Andrew to see the lengths she'd go to to get into his good books.

obsessedddd with the last point specifically because I see that happening even more clearly. I think he'd even prefer going to dan over Kevin or Neil because I think there's still that piece that wants to fight exy, that still doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing him enjoy it. but Dan will never be that important to him and she wouldn't see it as a big enough deal to draw attention to it.

maybe one time Andrew goes over to coach's place to annoy him and finds coach and dan drinking coffee and talking exy and Andrew makes a point of being uninvolved with the conversation, instead just walking around poking through coach's shit or making himself a shake with the ice cream that only he eats or pulling out all the books on coach's shelves. and then he settles himself on the floor with his shake still characteristically mute and looking bored until the conversation changes. but then the next day he meets Dan at her class or corners her after practice and says "here's why your strategy sucks: " and she's very startled that he was even paying attention enough to understand it, let alone to think about it for a whole day afterwards but she collects herself and goes back and forth with him and next time she's ready for it.

#I always feel like I don't know how to readtically do upperclassmen/monsters relationships (especially with the twins) because I feel #like they're hard to do in character even though I don't think that it's ooc for them to get closer #ajsjsjdj #aftg #🦊✉️

[captain-kelli]

Hot & Cold

Title: Hot & Cold

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Type: One-Shot 

Word Count: 1,741

Summary: There’s something about an old flame that keeps Bucky warm in December. 

Warnings: angst-lite, language, alcohol, implied smut

A/N: Not my first piece of writing in almost a year!! Let’s see if I’ve still got it…

The windows stretched from the floor to the ceiling of Bucky’s Manhattan office, giving a view of the snow that poured down. It was the first storm of the season, early by Bucky’s judgment, and he wondered how it’d affect holiday travelers. How it’d affect you. If maybe, just maybe, you were in town.

Not that he’d know, he hadn’t spoken to you in years, but his thoughts always drifted to you when winter arrived in New York. He loved to reminisce of that time the two of you hurried through the city in the freezing cold on your way back to his apartment only to strip off every piece of clothing to fuck on the floor by the fireplace. 

That memory would stay on repeat in his mind throughout December. 

Even in the conference room of his office during his quarterly board meeting. While the chairman discussed profit margins and next year’s growth strategy. While the rest of his executive team demonstrated plan after plan for each of their departments. While the snow started to fall outside.

Even then. Especially then.

He remembered how the temperature of your body warmed under his own while the two of you lied next to the fire. How you whimpered softly while his lips roamed over every part of you. How you lied in his arms for hours afterward, revealing every secret you had.

It had been years and still - it was still you that he thought of in December. Dreaming of what could’ve been.

The office cleared out hours ago, but Bucky didn’t have a reason to go home. No one was waiting for him. Instead, he stayed and watched the snowstorm from his executive suite. Work had consumed everything these last few years - his time, his attention, his love. He decided then that he had earned a night off and picked up his phone.

Scrolling through a list of contacts, his thumb hovered over your name and he hesitated. Did you want to hear from him? Would you laugh it off with your friends? Show it to a new man you were with?

Fuck it, he didn’t get this far in life by playing it safe.

“You in town?” It was short, no need for appearing desperate.

He tossed the phone onto the desk and turned back to the window. He wouldn’t wait around to see if your read receipts were still on or if you started typing the minute his name came across your screen. No second-guessing the decision. He could wait. He waited this long.

Minutes went by while he watched cabs pile up behind a light and shoppers rush on the sidewalk with bags hanging on their arms. He considered just getting back to work, maybe scope out a high-level budget for the next fiscal year.

Then Bucky heard the phone vibrate on the desk.

“For the night. Flight delayed out of JFK until morning.”  He noticed you kept the reply to the point, but you did reply. If there was any hope for a reunion, it was on him. Deservingly so, he supposed. He was the one that let you go. 

In the beginning, the two of you were on fire, chemistry that could burn down entire worlds. And for reasons Bucky couldn’t quite remember, things turned to ice. Time passed and you found someone else, but he heard that it didn’t last.

“Let’s meet up…for old time’s sake.”

His energy rose with the anticipation of seeing you - he paced the length of his office while loosening his tie, tossed his suit jacket over an armchair, threw the phone back on the desk after checking it one too many times.

“I’m close to your office, I’ll swing by… if you’re there like I expect you to be.”

Bucky ignored the sting of your guess and called the doorman downstairs to prepare him for your arrival. While he waited, he found a bottle of scotch in a cabinet and poured two glasses, figuring it couldn’t hurt. He was back at the window when he heard the knock.

“Hey, stranger.” When he spun around, he found you leaning on the door of his office, snug in a camel coat and cashmere scarf. It nearly transported him in time, but he snapped himself out of it.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes.” Bucky kept it casual as he strode across the room to hug you and brush a kiss across your cheek. The perfume you were wearing was one he didn’t recognize, but the scent was intoxicating all the same.

“You don’t look so bad yourself. The CEO suite suits you.” You tugged at his loosened tie before strolling to the window he’s looked out all day. “Has quite the view.”

The view and the title were nothing compared to you - something he wished he would’ve realized years ago. Bucky resisted the regret and dragged the drink glasses from the table, handing one to you.

“Never really gets old,” he lied.

The two of you stood side-by-side in front of the window pane, close enough where Bucky could see the twinkle in your eyes that always came ‘round whenever it snowed. Comfortable in the silence, minutes went by before Bucky asked to take your coat.

“Oh, no. That’s okay - I can’t stay long. I’ve got to find somewhere to pull in for the night. Every hotel I’ve called has been booked solid,” you said after handing him your glass. 

“Stay with me.”

It wasn’t a question.

And it wasn’t exactly a demand.

It was an obvious conclusion from a man who had grown accustomed to getting what he wanted without protest. So when you declined his offer, it was as if someone had thrown ice atop his head.

“C’mon…you said it yourself, you have nowhere to stay and we both know there aren’t going to be any more flights out tonight. Just stay with me…”

He grabbed your hand then and you quickly pulled it away. “Bucky…don’t…”

You were headed out the door and Bucky had to think fast.

“One glass of an Italian red. Your pick. And then you can go - I swear. Just one glass of red to have the conversation you know we need to have.”

Bucky’s apartment was only a few blocks from his office in the Financial District. The short walk there was a cold one. The wind whipped between the buildings and snow dampened your coat, yet you refused to reach for his arm - despite the warmth and comfort it offered. You could withstand the cold for a few minutes.

When you arrived, you were stunned by his place. The new condo was palatial compared to the old studio you remembered in Brooklyn… 

The studio had brick walls and cracked ceilings while the condo was pristine and monochromatic. The studio's landlord hung up on Bucky that time the heat went out in the dead of winter while the condo’s landlord, you suspected, kissed Bucky’s ass whenever given the chance. The view out of the studio’s lone window was of the back alley’s dumpster while the condo overlooked Wall Street.

Sure, the penthouse condo was nice. You could see the allure. 

But the Brooklyn studio held all of the happy memories you clung on to for dear life for so long.

And it wasn’t just the apartment. His hairstyle was different, he grew a beard, drank pretentious liquor, and even talked differently.

You never expected Bucky to be the same man you loved all those seasons ago, but you did expect to see some resemblance there. The differences had you wondering if it was a mistake to go to his place at all.

“A Tuscan blend…should’ve known this would be the one,” Bucky interrupted your thoughts when handing you the glass of wine. Your eyebrows arched at the sight of the generous pour and you made a note to take small sips.

However, the small sips turned into a second glass that was just as full. And then he opened another bottle. 

Somewhere around your fourth glass, you found yourself on Bucky’s living room floor next to what could’ve been a mini Rockefeller Christmas tree with all of its lights and a fireplace he lit with a remote. 

As it turned out, Bucky kept something from the life you had together - a vintage record player you gave him for his birthday with a handful of vinyls. His album collection grew in your absence, so you flipped through the new additions, noticing sentimental nods to your past together. Finding one of your shared favorites, you put it on.

“Are you ready for that talk now?” he asked. 

He was lounging comfortably on the couch, looking every bit the part of a confident, patient man in love and it startled you. Among all the changes, the way he looked at you was the same. 

“No, I rather feel like dancing,” was your response. And you did. You placed your empty glass on the table and stood to sway alone alongside the tree. Bucky considered you silently for a brief time before standing to take your hand. This time, you allowed him to.

The two of you quietly twirled around the living room to a lullaby written a lifetime ago. The defenses you built against the man holding you in his arms melted a little more with every note, even more so when he hummed the words.

It was then you admitted the wine was absolutely a mistake.

After the song finished, the record’s needle spun over the vinyl and you slowly backed away from Bucky. “What talk?”

At first, he hung his head as if ashamed. Then he looked up at you with hooded eyes in quiet consideration of the words he’d choose next. He finally broke the silence with, “I never stopped loving you.”

His second chance unraveled in minutes. Sobriety came fast for you both once you delivered a blunt refusal and made a swift exit. No amount of begging or clarification could have convinced you to stay. 

In solitude again, this time it wasn’t his choice and he struggled to understand how that came to be.

“I’ll always love you, Bucky, just not this version of you. I’m sorry…”

He chased the money and the status and the success for a long time. What woman wouldn’t want that?

“Her,” he thought.

A chill colder than the December night’s air ran down his back at the realization.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic

[seregios-seer]

Monster Review: Gammoth

This is peak fucking beast design right here. This is it, it does not get better. Gammoth may be my least favorite of the Fated Four but THIS is something we need more of; absolutely massive bastards that you just hunt like normal. Don’t get me wrong specially tailored arena fights with massive opponents is also badass, but just finding this thing out there is terrifying when you really think about it. Plus in a World-like game seeing something the size of Gammoth (or Gammoth itself if they’re not cowards about it) would be absolutely pants-shittingly horrifying.

GU (Various): It’s actually a bit hard for me to do this one since unless you’re going for part breaks, as far as I can tell the objectively correct strategy is to stick to the tail, which keeps you from seeing quite a few of Gammoth’s attacks at all (see all projectile attacks), and really only the slams actually serve as a consistent issue. Gammoth is slow enough that as long as you stay near her, she rarely ever turns enough to hit you with new moves and doesn’t even really attack much. It’s especially east with Adept style since you can pretty much remove the one thing Gammoth has left; her massive hit boxes. For the sake of the review I deliberately went to face her head on, and she certainly poses a larger threat with the higher move variance and projectile ice I could never seem to dodge, but even so I was able to kinda just tank through the fight, especially with the low health all the Fated Four seem to have. Gammoth obviously should move slow and hit hard being such a massive beast, but it’s hard to balance fights like that, and unfortunately the Monster Hunter team couldn’t work it first try. I’m gonna rate Gammoth high regardless because it’s a wonderfully simple yet effective design, and has so much potential, but I really can’t endorse base Gammoth that much. Hopefully Elderfrost can do it better (whenever I get that far).

Rating: 7.9/10

A minuscule amount of threat, but a hulking beast of potential

#monster hunter #monhun #MH Reviews #gammoth #I love big monsters and will stand by that forever #but Gammoth deserves so much more

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Getting Work Right

Office Romance + (Pinch of) Slow Burn + Luke

For @5-secondsofcolor

Written for Graduation Blurb Weekend. Going until May 8th. 

Gender Neutral Reader Insert. 

__________________

The screen in front of your eyes feels like it’s taunting you. You’ve been staring at this report for the last half hour. You needed to somehow get together the performance reports to show your boss and his superiors the new changes to the machines and testing strategies are working, but somehow all the cursor seems to be doing is blinking…and blinking….and blinking. “For fuck sake.”

A soft chuckle comes from your right and you look over. The new hire, Luke, grins and looks up at you. “Everything okay over there?”

“I-I am alive,” you return. 

“Do you need some help?” he offers. 

“I need a new job,” you laugh. “It’s just there’s reports everywhere. I like have forgotten where half this shit is.”

Luke scoots behind from his desk a little. “I think I was CC’d on those biweekly reports. I can print them down if it’ll help. Maybe you just need a break from the screen for a bit. Which reports do you need?”

“The last four months. From when the new changes were implemented.”

Luke nods, and scoots back to his desk. You watch him for a moment longer. His screen fills with his emails. You know you’re staring, trying to trace the angle and cut of his jaw. He looks studious, sitting up in the office chair and scrolling. He’d been added on the team about six months ago and initially, the whole office was fawning over him. You’d seen it--his icy blue eyes, the way he squealed out his laughter, the broad muscles and the expanse of his shoulders.

You weren’t his direct supervisor, but you were one of the people that oversaw his training. He’s a quick learner, and liked getting pretty consistent feedback. There was something about that line of trainer and trainee that you really hadn’t wanted to cross. But now, as Luke scrolls through hundreds of emails possibly just to print down eight measly reports makes you question that divisive line. 

“It might take me a minute. But thankfully, they’re all titled the same thing. So I just need to separate out duplicates,” Luke mutters. 

You don’t know if it’s mostly for him or for you. “Don’t worry about it if it’s too much of a hassle. I probably just need a coffee for this midafternoon slump and I can get through it.”

“Oh no, it’s not too much of a hassle. I’m currently hiding from other things in my inbox. Help me be irresponsibly responsible.”

The two of you share a moment’s laughter. Luke taps at his keys and then resumes scrolling. “I have this months and last month’s printing. It might take me a minute or two longer on the other two.”

“How do you take your coffee?”

“Light. Admittedly, way too light,” Luke laughs. “Or I just take it black. Depends on the day really.”

“What kind of day is it today?”

“Black coffee kind of day, I think,” he returns, watching you stand from your desk. 

“I’ll return soon. Coffee and reports and all.”

He nods and for two or three moments too long, he watches you walk down towards the kitchen, which he knows you have to pass the printer. A small sigh escapes him. He wanted to ask you out. You also smiled so brightly at him. He liked catching up about his weekend activities with you and listening to your adventures too. Both of you like music and Luke was constantly trying to find new bands and artists to recommend to you. It made his heart swell when you’d report back that you’d listened to the artist and enjoyed them. He loved when you’d swap artist too. 

But it was slow. The two of you weren’t even sure if you were it was even a fire to dance around. You wanted to make Luke laugh, just to hear him laugh and the way he throws his head back when something really tickles him. But he was your coworker and you weren’t even sure if that was something the office would allow. So you stick to this, poorly flirting about coffee orders and music recommendations. 

The machine stops hissing, and the drips start to fall down into the glass container. You watch them fall drip by drip until the pot is full. You pour two mugs full. You stop by the printers, and grab the reports--six of the eight--and tuck them up under your arm before resuming carrying the drinks. The distance isn’t long, but you try not to stare at the way he looks at his desk and the way you know he’s doing more work that needs to be to help you. 

You settle down the mug for his cup. “One black coffee for my knight in paper armor,” you tease. The realization hits you and you quickly settle into your desk chair. Where in the fuck did that come from?

Luke laughs from next to you. “Thank you my liege. I’m still searching for the last two. They’re here. Just buried. I think that was like the month that I started being on my own, so things sort of exploded then.”

“No worries. I really appreciate you searching for it.” You want to say again that he really doesn’t need to waste the time, but he seems so adamant about it. He looks so cute, chewing his bottom lip in concentration. 

You know you’re staring when Luke turns his head a little. “Is-is there something?”

“No, no, no, I’m sorry.” You turn quickly back to your desk. When he prints down the last two reports, you give him a quick thanks and run to the printer. 

______________

The weeks speed by, the end of the year is also a massive push to get things sorted before Christmas break. Though, it never really felt like a break as the emails still trickled in from other clients and the to-do list never really shrunk, it only got pushed to the new year. Luke places a mug down onto your desk, his jacket still billowing behind him. 

“Oh, thank you.” It falls out in a whisper as you watch him settle down into the chair next to you. 

“How long have you been here?” The sun’s just starting to peek in through the curtains. 

You rub your eyes. “Way too long. I don’t think I really slept much because of this meeting with the executives. They’re impressed by the new training changes and such. But now they want SOPs before the new year once we hire again.”

“But how long have you been here?” Luke asks again. He doesn’t like the look of the bags forming of your eyes and the way your shoulders slump. 

“Uh, I left at five like usual. Got dinner and tried to sleep. Woke up at like 4:30 and just figured I’d come in.”

“It’s barely 8 now. And what--you’re just going to do a twelve hour shift? We’re barely paid for our overtime.”

“I’ll have the SOP’s for our department finished.” You shrug. 

 “What time did you get in?”

“5:20? I don’t really know. I saw the sun rise.” You turn back to your desk. “Thanks for the coffee.”

Luke watches you for a moment, your fingers taping over your keys. “Go home.”

“What? I can’t. I have--”

“You need sleep. At least take a nap or something. We still have the rest of the week for SOPs.”

“I’m tasked with editing two other departments. I need to get them done by today.”

“I can edit them,” Luke offers. “Something. You’re drowning over here.’

“I’ll be okay.” The first sip of the coffee slips down and you almost don’t taste it. It’s your second cup of the morning. It won’t be your last cup today so you pace yourself. 

Luke watches as you continue on, taking screenshots, adding them to the document. He watches you format the text to wrap around the photos. You seem to be speeding through it and Luke’s not sure how you manage it. He has to leave for a meeting but before he does, he drops a hand to your shoulder. “Take it easy while I’m gone.”

You nod at the comment, still buried into your screen. “I’ll try to.” But even as you say it, you know that you won’t be slowing down. You won’t be taking it easy. You can’t. The cursor on the screen starts to blur. Your eyes burn. You know you should probably call it quits. 

Luke returns, watching you blinking rapidly at the screen. He sighs, knowing he was supposed to work on transcribing those notes and getting them sent out ot the team. But his heart can’t bear watching you working yourself so hard. 

“Seriously. I said take it easy,” he says softly in jest, but also in seriousness. 

“No, I’m okay. I promise.”

“Yeah right,” he scoffs, setting his legal pad down. “C’mon.” He holds out his hands for yours. You shake your head, keeping your strained eyes trained on the screen. Luke sighs. “Save the document.”

You follow that direction, knowing that you should save it, since it’s been a moment. Once Luke sees the save taken, he pulls your chair away from the desk. “You’re going to take a nap.”

“Wait no--I need, the SOPs.” You reach for the desk, but Luke’s faster. He gets the chair completely out from the desk and spins the chair around. 

“The SOPs aren’t going anywhere. But you need rest. You’ve been here six hours. You need nap and some lunch and then you come back to this fresh. You’re lucky I’m not sending you home.”

“Hey,” you return, popping up from the seat. “You’re not my direct supervisor.”

“Yeah, but I care about you! So, go nap. Or something. You’ve saved your work. You’ve been here so long. Please take care of yourself.”

You fold your arms. “I’ll go to bed early tonight.”

“You’re just saying that so you leave me alone. But no, I will march you done to the lounge myself.”

“People are going to be in there. Lounging, like they should be able to do.”

Luke sighs. You’re right. But he’s also worried. The two of you stare each other down. You try not to take in just how impossibly long his lashes are, and the way his chest expands as he breathes in deeply. “You need rest.”

“I need to finish SOPs.”

Luke walks around the chair. “The SOPs aren’t going to run away.” Your face is worn down. “Please. Just an hour and a half. For me.”

He says it softly. You hate the way he looks so scared and worried. “Fine.”

“I’ll be sure to wake you.” 

You nod, one hand resting on his forearms. He watches you head down the hallways and out of the office space. His arm holds the ghost of the heat of you. Luke wants to hate it, hate the way his gut flips. But he holds the feeling, holds the memory of your touch and his stomach fluttering as close as he can while you’re gone. Luke watches over your desk. It holds the ghost of you. 

As his timer goes off, he pulls away from the desk. In the lounge, Luke finds it dark. Normally, there are plenty of people to be leaning, making coffee, chatting. But it is dark and quiet. You’re curled up on the corner of the couch. Your face is clear of worry lines. You look so at peace with your lips slightly agape. Luke almost feels like he can’t interrupt that. But he knows if he lets you sleep any longer, you’ll throw a fit. 

Luke gently shakes your shoulders as he settles into the squat. “Hey, it’s been an hour and a half,” he says softly. 

You turn your head. “Hmm, five more minutes.”

He laughs, watching you blink open your heads. “I mean, I’m willing to give it to you.” 

“SOPs--fuck!” And like a bolt of lightning,you sit up straight. 

“Hey, they’re still waiting on you. How do you feel after some rest?” His hands hover, wanting to trace the line of your jaw but knowing he can’t. 

“A little bit better,” you nod. You notice how close the two of you are. You can see every blink Luke takes. The way his lips turn up slightly into a tiny smile. You don’t want it to be any different. The moment of closeness lingers. The two of you watching the other, inhales becoming exhales and the two of you can’t pull away. Not at first. But you can hear someone’s heels clicking and you slide down the couch to stand up. 

“Better get back,” you start, throwing your thumb over your shoulder. 

Luke nods, standing up and smoothing his hands over his dress pants. “Yeah, yeah, we should.”

________________

The store feels way too crowded. You need the wrapping paper and a few house toiletries, but the thing you don’t need is the crowd. You curse yourself for not doing this sooner, but work got in the way. The wheel of your cart squeaks a little as you wind down the aisle. Someone cuts through the main aisle that you’re trying to get into and you have to pull back. “Sorry,” you call out and the figure turns. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t see you!”

“Luke?”

“Hey, hey! How are you?”

“I’m good. Just Christmas shopping, really. I decided to wait until the last minute. So you know, some repercussions,” you laugh. “What about you?”

“Same. I’m like so bad at remembering these sorts of things.” 

“Are you going home for the holidays?” you ask. 

“Uh, they’re coming to my place, actually. What about you?” Luke asks. 

“I’m going to my parent’s place for a few days.”

He nods. “When are you headed out?” 

“Two days. I’m normally so good about these things. But work’s been…well, you know!” you laugh. The two of you continue to talk, you mentioning that one of Luke’s favorite bands are going to be coming into town the week after New Year’s. 

Luke, who had been aware of the upcoming tour, blinks in surprise. “Uh, yeah, I was getting tickets actually. How did you know?”

You shrug, trying to hide the embarrassment. “I--I know they’re your favorite, so I kept tabs.”

“That’s really sweet,” Luke says. The air stills for a moment. Luke’s at the midpoint of your basket and you’re at the handles. He’s watching the way you slowly blink at his words. He can’t help it anymore. “Do you want to go to the concert with me?”

“What?” you ask. “Are you sure?”

Luke nods. “I’ve--” he clears his throat. Is he really going to confess? He’d read the office rules. It wouldn’t be against the rules. But he still. He couldn’t get a read. Maybe this would be the quickest way. 

Your heart races but you nod. “Yeah, I’d love to. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. Beyond sure,” he exhales. 

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings fic #luke hemmings fanfic #h writes #h's graduation celebration blurb weekend #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x gender neutral insert #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos imagine #luke hemmings fluff #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer imagine

[galaxxies18]

Hanami (2022) - Oh flower, Oh flower, Please don't scatter

It's 5 am. Why am I awake. Also I put in like one or two snarky comments in the translation and a funny little tldr of the chapters translated, if it bothers anyone please let me know and I'll just keep it plain and simple next time! Also, why am I awake.

Prequel chapters 1 and 2, under the cut!

TLDR: Haseyama has friends (surprisingly) and we find out what they’re fucking around with; Yakou confirms that gacha is real and that increased drop rate is a lie, also what was Rindou thinking?

Prequel - Chapter 1

(MC, Kei, Akira and Rindou in the office)

(Un’ei comes in) Un’ei Akira-san! Rindou-san! I have good news! Ah, you’re here as well. That is a relief.

MC Hello, Un’ei-san. You were talking about some good news…?

Un’ei Ah, yes! The Chairman has chosen the performance of this year’s Hanami, with help from an outside party. Not only that, but this time it will be a showdown performance. Please do your best to lead your respective teams.

Rindou Uhm…What exactly do you mean, Unei-kun? Is this going to be a showdown between Team P and Team W?

Un’ei No, the members will be left up to you. With that in mind, perhaps you would need to start drafting line ups? Doing so will be much easier for the both of you, yes? I look forward to the teams that you will have. Akira “I’m looking forward to it~” My ass. I don’t even understand what you’re saying right now. Kei …Un’ei. Organise the information first, then tell us everything that transpired. Un’ei U-uhm yeah! Well, let’s see… There are two playwrights which the Chairman is associated with that recently came here. It seems that those two have a request for Starless. “I want to see which script will grab the attention of more customers,” they said.

Rindou That’s…well, hmm…

Akira Woah. This isn’t something that should be carelessly spoken with sake on the table.

Kei Then, will they write a script that follows the format of Starless' shows?

Un’ei Yes. Though I believe it will take a while for the scripts to arrive. This was all decided by the chairman a while ago. Notice how only the singers have been chosen so far? MC Yes. It will be Akira and Rindou, right?

Un’ei They will select their own members for the mixed teams, as they are the designated tops. With that in mind, we’ve called upon a very reliant helper in order to create the mixed teams! Please give me a moment, I’ll call upon them now!

(Un’ei runs off)

Rindou A helper…?

Kei (sighs)

Un’ei Well then, please welcome our draft adviser: Yakou-san! It’s a pleasure to be able to work with you.

Yakou …Likewise. I’ve heard from Un’ei-kun that we needed to make draft teams, but…

Akira Yeah, yeah. Something like that.

Kei Yakou, the requirements this time are quite simple. Akira and Rindou are to choose their respective members for the two mixed teams.

Yakou Ah…Understood. So then, the teams need to be on a fair playing field? (pro tip: It wasn’t)

Un’ei Yes! If you could do it just this once, please!

MC How are you going to go about choosing the members?

Yakou Do you have any idea how draft teams in baseball are created? They're merely nominating one member of their choosing for each team. We should be able to follow the same principle. Starting with 4 people for the 1st nominations, we will have a total of 4 nominees. If the same cast member is nominated, a draw will be held. Conversely, you will get the nominated cast member if the other team doesn't nominate for them as well. I normally don't use the draw system after the 2nd round, but since we're making two teams, I think doing a draw for all of them will be alright. You’ll need a solid strategy, so the drafting process will be held at a later date.

Rindou Understood. Will we need to prepare anything before the appointed day comes?

Yakou You'll need to write down the name of the cast members you'd like to win, each on a separate piece of paper. Also, any spare candidates. We'll open them both at the same time on the day of.

Akira M'ka~y. Understood. Though, I'd honestly rather do rock-paper-scissors right here and now… (so true bestie)

Un'ei Oh yes. The president will give out a golden seal to the winner of this showdown. Please keep this a secret from the other cast members, as it'll cause problems if they're scrambling around trying to participate.

Akira Seriously!? That's definitely some sort of prize, isn't it? I seriously have to win this!

Rindou Well, we'd first need to prepare for the draft teams. It seems like a big hassle.

Un'ei Well then, I'll leave the preparations for the performances to you all!

-END OF STORY-

Prequel - Chapter 2

In the office

Akira You know…I’m okay with MC being here but, some of you have no reason to be here at all.

Sotetsu No way you’ll make me miss this kind of unpredictable event.

Ran There’sa chance I’ll be chosen, so ‘s ‘boutta be my business! I’m excited~!

Kongou I was asked by Kei to be here. Since I can’t come in for work, I was tasked to stay beside her.

MC I’m sorry for all the trouble, Kongou-san. And, thank you for your hard work.

Un’ei Sorry to keep everyone waiting! Now then, for the drafting-

(Nekome walks in)

Nekome I heard something interesting was happening~ Did you guys start yet? Rindou, concerned (me too) …You came as well, Nekome.

Nekome Ah my bad, my bad. Did I just interrupt you guys? Now, now, please don’t mind me and continue on with what you were doing.

Un’ei Uhm, sure! Now without further ado, the drafting process for the members of the Hanami performances will now begin!

Yakou We don’t have much time, so let’s get right to it. Please open [the papers] and tell us who your first nominees are.

Rindou My first nominee is Kei. Surely, he will be the most important factor to this.

Akira Geh. My first pick was Kei too. I should’ve known this woulda happen…

Yakou  Same nomination then, huh. Well then, we’ll draw lots from the box. The one who gets the paper with the red circle on it will be the winner.

Akira Huh, this is the red circle, right? Yeaaa, I got Kei-sama~! Rindou It’s a shame, but I will appoint another nominee. I will nominate for Kokuyo.

Yakou Ok. It’s been decided that Team Akira’s first nominee is Kei, while Team Rindou’s first nominee is Kokuyo.

Nekome Ahaha, a draw so early on. As expected, the strong and popular ones will be chosen.

Un’ei Now then, please name your 2nd nominees!

Akira Ufufu, my second choice is…Mokuren! My lineup is seriously amazing~

Rindou I nominate Qu. Since we had different nominees, we’ll get them, correct?

Kongou E~h? Qu, huh? That’s an interesting selection.

Sotetsu Not really, if you consider that Qu was formerly in P. He probably avoided going for Mokuren in case a draw will happen.

MC Ah, so there’s such a strategy like that.

Ran Woah~! ‘S like they’re one upping each other~! I saw Akira’s 3rd nominee was Mizuki!

Kongou I don’t think that’ll be possible…? I don’t think he’s suited for any of these mixed teams.

Nekome Wouldn’t Ginsei be a better choice? After all, he’s such a hard worker.

Sotetsu I think Rindou knows that already.

Akira Say what you want, but everyone’s off the mark. Since, my third choice after all is Yakou.

Yakou Huh… Me?

Akira Well, you’ve been quite amazing lately. I thought I’d have a draw with Rindou [for you].

Rindou No, we won’t have to. After all, my third choice is Taiga.

Nekome Oya, I didn’t think my little brother would be mentioned at all. That’s unexpected.

Sotetsu Hm. I can’t tell at all who he has in mind for his 4th member.

Ran Mus'.be.nice. I wanna perform on the stage too! I don’t care which team I’ll land in, please just choose me!!

Un’ei May I request that the spectators keep their voices down? Now then, please tell us your fourth and final nominee!

Akira My final choice will be Menou. This’ll be perfect!

Rindou My choice is…..Ran.

Ran Seriously!? Yeah!! Told ya’ll I’ll get’in!!

Kongou This is…is this alright? It feels like a reverse nomination.

Yakou Well, I didn’t really specify in the rules, plus it looks like he was really one of the nominees, so I’ll give this an ok.

Sotetsu That guy, I can’t tell if he’s just too nice or overconfident.

Un’ei Well then, we finally have the two teams participating in the Hanami showdown. The songs and the scripts will be given out now. Everyone, I wish you the best of luck!

-END OF STORY-

#blackstar theater starless #bsts #; galaxxi's translations. #bro. bro. dude. bro. #do you ever just forget how to english?? #do you ever just forget how to like make one string of words from one language to another language. #like #correctly. #I should not be translating at 5 am #i should not be awake at 5 am. #and yet here we are honk honk clown car on max gas

[tiend]

💔⏳🤲

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

All the ones I haven't finished.

Ashes, Carrion, and Dust or Viewer Discretion Advised.

Ashes, Carrion because of the research that went into it - what happens when the battle is over, and only the dead remain, and how various countries determine what happens to them. The United Nations has instruction manuals you can download for "stuff like so you've stumbled on a mass grave, here's how not to screw it up for our forensic teams!", some of which I reused for They Also Serve Who Watch And Wait. Then trying to figure out how Yoda must have felt, having lost over 90% of the strike team, having felt them die, all bright and shining and people he'd known since childhood and then nothing.

Knowing that it was only the beginning of the war.

Viewer Discretion Advised because making propaganda set pieces out of dead and dismembered Jedi children seemed far too plausible for Palpatine, who was an expert at manipulating the news networks.

By then, too, Fox as I write him is heavily influenced by the Sith ascendancy as well, and his intrinsic decency and care for his men is tainted - he's trying, but he's no longer got much to try with so he's trying to distance himself from his own feelings as much as he can.

Plus, you know, the dead children themselves.

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Varies wildly. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth, sometimes it just pours out like the words have pressure in my brain. Depends how much worldbuilding I'm doing and how much I need to refer to previous stuff for consistency's sake.

I was just writing something I'd been hoping to finish for half a year now when a complete story popped into my head so I had to get that out of my head and into a document before I could get back to the original. Which is finished now, thank fuck.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

On the strategy table, high in orbit, their task force been one half of a classic pincer movement, sweeping the Sep forces in front of them until they met up with Commander Njime’s people, rolling across the country in a thunderous wave, to push the occupying CIS forces so their backs were to the coast and the capital city. It hadn't been a bad plan, or so Morwen understood the lack of urgent communiques from Marshal Commander Bacara. Even Umbattzo and her unshakeable belief that all will be as the Force wills it hadn't countenanced an amphibious attack on the city. But the green welcome of the plains concealed a disastrous morass of defilades, minefields, droid cysts and - worse - they'd been unable to attain air superiority. Their combined advance had lost momentum. Stalled. Halted - and they were retreating. Back across the plains, falling back and further back and always, always with the matchless discipline of clone troops.

Morwen herself was running on the Force and fumes. In better times she'd lost entire hours lying on the sunlit ground, letting her awareness diffuse into the bustle of tiny lives. Now it seemed she spent most of the retreat throwing herself off the side of a juggernaut to lie in the churned, poisoned earth, coaxing it into defensive contours, bringing up the burned out hulks of armour just so, doglegs and baffles and chevrons, language she'd never had to know, and making it stack itself in parapets behind. She’d apologised endlessly to nothing and everything as she did so, uprooting trees and filling in burrows, hot tears rolling down her cheeks inside her helmet with the useless ruin of it all.  Gotten up, and kept moving until she needed to do it again, ditch and parapet and traverse, until the valley narrowed to a front the clones could hold. Stacked gabions made a wall across it, metres high; she'd tried to keep as much of the soil in situ as possible, in the hope that when they were gone the fragile ecology of the mountain valley could recover.

#@trudemaethien #fanfic author asks #and answered #tiend writes

[liesyousoldme]

fuck it friday

i was tagged by @messyhairdiaz for fuck it friday, and we are going full fuck it bc i am literally just going to talk about an idea i have but will never write <3

over the pandemic we all had that one show that we binged right? ok. i watched all 40something seasons of survivor for the first time. and yes the early ones were ridiculously problematic but i looked past it for the sake of the drama ANYWAY i was NOT immune to the romance of rob and amber. i ate that shit up. i rooted for them the whole damn season. i did not know any spoilers. he PROPOSED AT THE REUNION i physically gasped out loud. and obviously there will never be another rob and amber bc now everyone knows to split the couples up right away so anyway in this universe rob and amber do not exist (sorry guys) and somehow the show has gone up into 30 something seasons without any couple pulling an amber and rob. and then buck and eddie show up in whatever year s2 was set in. eddie’s from el paso. he’s got a kid and he’s working three jobs and his wife left him but he’s got military background, he can win the fuck out of challenges, his emotional intelligence is through the damn roof, and he needs a million dollars. evan buckley landed in LA and is barely into his first year of being a firefighter and on a call he happens to meet a former contestant who makes the suggestion to him so he’s like what the hell. he’s never watched the show so he binges it and decides i can do that. and they both show up to whatever beautiful beach they’re on that season and buck and eddie end up on the same team and they fucking crush challenges together. at first there’s a little rivalry, they’re both the strong hot guy, they’re dreading the merge from day one bc they both are afraid they’ll be targets, but eventually after a tough challenge eddie compliments buck and from then on they’re always together. buck is the social butterfly and eddie is the strategist. they’re attracted to each other and they both know it but they try to hide it from everyone else. they’re Just Bros. they’re in an alliance with some others on their team but they both know they’re only loyal to each other at the end of the day. they get separated during a team switch up and eddie makes a promise to somebody that if he makes sure buck (loving trusting buck) doesn’t go home he’ll help him out later and this guy makes sure of it, actually convinces others not to vote buck out bc they were thinking about it (they know the merge is coming soon and don’t want buck around for that bc he kills at challenges). it’s not til eddie turns on the guy that saved buck that everyone realizes Oh They’re A Couple They Are Working Together. (obviously there’s been loads of sexual tension up to this point). and now they’re like fuck it everybody knows! they go into the merge as the dudes everyone wants to get rid of quick so they up their social game and wiggle into an alliance and they win challenges left and right (and i think it’s buck that wins the challenge that gets him a new car and when he gets to pick a guest for his reward and he picks eddie, surprise eddie gets a truck! here’s date night! and of course they absolutely make use of date night separated from everyone else). anyway eddie, who desperately needs that million dollars, makes all the dirty moves so buck can still charm everyone bc they realize nobody on the jury’s gonna vote for eddie. but if they don’t realize eddie’s pulling the strings they might just vote for buck (loving trusting charming buck). and yay buck wins! eddie literally packs up as soon as he gets home and moves himself and chris to LA and joins the fire academy. then you know like 9 months later boom proposal at the reunion show! anyway. i’m too stupid to write all the strategy of it and it would be so long and i could never write it but. yeah essentially a survivor rob and amber au is my dream au that i will never write. thank u for your time <3

#if no one who reads this has any idea who these people are then you never saw this i never said anything #fuck it friday #this is much longer than i expected that’s my bad lmao #buddie #911 #i’m not tagging anyone i don’t have an excuse why i’m just not but feel free to say i tagged you!!! #or in the spirit of fuck it friday just post and say nobody tagged me but fuck it anyway #ok i’m done now bye #buddie survivor au #i’ll never use that tag again. sigh

[russilton]

Hi Mark, since we are in the argument of Lewis’ latest interview… what do you think of the other comments he made there on George’s work? Of his (lack of) setting the car up? I fear I might have become so paranoid to read bad stuff and see bad words on George everywhere, so please tell me I’m just reading stuff where there isn’t and that it’s still our britcedes working together for the win

I think hyper analysis of every little word out of their mouths will be your death. Truth is… he probably didn’t think that hard about it. Also it’s an interview given to multiple journalists in a room, Lewis doesn’t have control over how the journalists choose to frame his words.

I bring this up constantly around here, and I’ll say it again, take people at their friggin word. Doing otherwise is an exercise in madness, and more over, it’ll make you really fucking sad.

“George is doing a great job," Hamilton says. "I don't have any problems with it. There's no issues in the background with us.

I saw it as a genuinely positive interview from Lewis, he talks over how he doesn’t compare himself to George, how he CHOSE to experiment. He’s said before it’s because he WANTS to be a good teammate to George. He says George is doing an incredible job with what he can because he’s new here. He isn’t blaming George for not doing the same thing, he explains it in the interview! Lewis has been at that team 10 years longer, in the sport 13 years longer, he can do the testing George can’t.

George, I would say, and his team, they don't experiment the same, obviously. But that's because I've been here for a long time, so I'm willing to take these risks.

George is proving himself to the team so he can retain his seat, of course he can’t do what Lewis does. He’s learning a new car at an entirely new team and Lewis has encouraged him every step of the way. Every person in the garage who’s been interviewed mentions how Lewis encourages George to push him because he ENJOYS IT.

You need to make sure you aren’t giving undue weight to a single sentence. Just because you only hear a few things out of them each week doesn’t mean one line suddenly makes a change in view. And the way I read it, it didn’t mean to put George down at all either. It just said “we chose to do these radical things for the sake of helping, by mid season we realised it wasn’t helping as much anymore, so we scaled it back”. Also, if you have to put his words in the context of EVERYTHING ELSE he’s said this year.

There are SO many points over the season you could say “oh Lewis is annoyed he’s doing all the testing” or “George is annoyed Lewis had better strategy” but every time it’s just them saying “hindsight is 20/20, I may have done better doing it his way, oh well, ”. A single line shouldn’t outweigh a million affectionate, friendly ones.

It is human nature to doubt, it is human nature to find the most negative voice to be the loudest. But doing so can be at the detriment of the person you are doubting. Just, trust them? Trust the guys that they’re big boys who get on, especially when they keep showing us they do.

I don’t think there’s much of an argument here, and if there is one, I don’t wanna be drawn into it lol. It shouldn’t matter what I say, I’m just some dude.

#asks #anonymous #wank/rants #mark talks britcedes #mark’s driver meta

[depressed-sock]

Saving two birds with one stone

(865 words) by

Chapters: 1/3

Relationships: Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Shepard & Garrus Vakarian, nonbinary Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

Characters: Nonbinary Shepard (Mass Effect) - Character, Garrus Vakarian, Garrus Vakarian's Team

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Canon Temporary Character Death, Mentioned at least - Freeform

(Karson and Silas Shepard)

...

So maybe Silas hadn't fully thought this through. Maybe they should have actually come up with a plan instead of jumping onto the nearest passenger ship to Omega.

Maybe they should have put some of those hard-won and planned battle strategies in their head to actual use. But they didn’t and now they’re here, in a space crowded by the desperate and the criminal waiting for the ship to dock.

Because of course, they‘ve done this. Doesn’t really surprise them but Silas had been under the impression they finally got some self-control in this new life. Taking over as the Shadow Broker had required them to think first before they acted. They had to weigh every mission and every outcome to figure out how it would work in the eventual war against the Reapers. Figure out what’s valuable, what’s hazardous, and what could be left the fuck alone.

How does this particular venture weigh into it? It doesn't. Because what'll happen here is already set in stone.

Garrus will lose his hodge-podge team of vigilantes due to betrayal and he will end up being recruited to fight the Collectors. There's nothing to gain here except… Fuck when did they get this sentimental? It isn't even their Garrus.

Except it kinda is... It's just that this Garrus doesn't know Silas Shepard. This Garrus has been tempered by Karson Shepard’s paragon attitude on life and hopefully, that has somehow translated into Garrus not being as reckless as he'd been under Silas. Though probably not by much considering he’d still gone to Omega to be a vigilante.

They sigh, pinching the bridge of their nose as the passenger ship finally docks into Omega's port. This is a bad idea. They need to be preparing for Liara to eventually try to storm the Shadow Broker’s lair. It’s still almost a year or so off but they need to set the foundation. Make sure she’s ready and capable to take over the majority of the coordinating efforts. That way when Silas does stupid shit like this there’s at least someone at the base who can take care of all the more important things.

They should get off this ship, make contact with a few potential contacts, and then leave. But… When was the last time they did something for themself? When did they do something because they wanted to and not because they had to? They’ve been working nonstop since they first woke up. Quietly putting things into place in preparation. Doing everything for the sake of saving as many people as possible. What’s the point of any of this if they couldn't even save the people they care about?

What’s the point since they had to make the decision to let their brother die in the vacuum of space? They could have saved him. It was an option. They could have but it wouldn’t have been worth the loss of knowledge. At least that’s what they keep telling themself. They couldn’t afford for how much that choice would change what they already know will happen.

But this thing here? This is small, and insignificant to the grander part of the galaxy.

Except it wouldn’t be to Garrus. He’d carry the loss of this team until the end of the war and possibly even longer. It wouldn’t break him, but it would be a scar that would never really go away.

And fuck do they miss him. They miss his sarcasm, the comradery, and just him being there for them at the end of the day.

Besides, saving Garrus’s team is the least Silas can do for the hours of effort Garrus put into keeping Silas sane in their old timeline. Saving his team won't even be that hard to do. Maybe Silas will even get some recruits for their own operations when eventually Garrus goes off to fight the Collectors. Because he will do that. There is no doubt in their mind that Garrus will follow Karson Shephard to hell and back.

He would’ve done the same for Silas. He did do the same for Silas.

So Silas will save his team. Possibly poaching them out from under him when he goes out to be a big hero with their brother. There was a Batarian hacker wasn’t there? Or something like that. That alone already makes this idea worth it. The Batarian could be a major asset, one that could hopefully help evacuate a system prematurely before it explodes.

Right, they nod their head as if to assure themself that this is a sane plan. At least it is a plan. Far better than just the idea that had set them off on this mission in the first place.

They take in a breath as they step into place in the line that’s begun to form, following the other poor misbegotten people who file slowly out of the ship. Another deep breath and then they hook their mask over their face and follow it with a hood to completely obscure their features.

Gone is Silas Shephard for the time being.

The man who walks out of the ship is called Marcus Nix and he has an Archangel to find.

#Mass Effect #fanfiction #my writing #sock-writes #writer on tumblr #nonbinary shep #Silas Shepard #Garrus Vakarian #I should hopefully have the second chapter done by Tuesday/Wednesday it'll be over 3k

[loveyougoodbi]

Australia unserious serious race overview

If you're new here i decided to do a short recap of each race after it's done on here, mostly for my own sake so I dont forget what happened in each race.

This recap will be less unserious since the results were 😐 not by my liking and I have serious topics to cover.

Bahrain part 1 Bahrain part 2 Jeddah part 1 Jedah part 2

Australia will be 1 part under a cut

1. Ferrari

Oohhh boy. Do I have thoughts.

Most of my thoughts are summed up in this post I made discussing how Charles not attacking was not due to team orders and how attacking would not have helped him. Now I'd rather move on from this since every time I think about who won I want to cry.

I am really pissed off today but not because of ferrari and team orders but because the one time charles is out of the front row in 8 races Max DNFs thus giving everyone else a chance. I know, I know I should want Charles to beat Max on track and that's probably what Charles wants also BUT it does not erase the fact that cs55 is so lucky with his front row starts that he is now 2/2 qualis he was better than Charles in the last 10 races that lead to Max/Red Bull having issues. What kind of luck do you have on your side? And can the rest of us get some?

On the positive side Charles is now closer in the championship to Max than any driver has been probably since Bahrain 2023 lol. And I will choose to look on the bright side and remember that after Singapore Charles obliterated Carlos in every single race and hope that this one sparks a similar fire in him. You got this Charlie.

2. Mclaren

They were good I guess. They had no one to fight with thanks to Mercedes. I feel like they had a slightly better race than the last 2. I will not talk about the team orders since they did undercut Lando with Oscar's strategy in the beginning. So I have.. no opinion on it. Especially since Oscar made a big mistake towards the end that everyone kinda overlooked with everything that happened after. He would not have been on the podium either way. He lost a lot of seconds there I dont remember how much but it was a lot. Lando would've overtaken for sure.

3. Aston Martin

Stroll had an amazing drive here 🙌. I like to hate on him sometimes but not today. Amazing quali amazing drive great points.

Alonsos move in the end? Extremely dangerous to do on a street track surrounded by walls. I'm happy he got the penalty (although I didn't expect 20 fucking seconds????? Idk what is happening with the penalties being so harsh this year but I like it)

4. Red Bull

Poor Maxie. We are so not used to seeing this that it felt like a fever dream. What the fuck happened? And on the race he was supposed to match his streak 😭. Anyway he'll live. At least now he gets to fight Charles (yes I'm delulu what about it)

Perez was invisible. Were RB slow here or is Perez just mid? Well I guess we'll never know (but we can take a wild guess). He could not pass the Mclarens? Really?

5. RB

YUKI TSUNODA THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!!!!! I can not explain to you guys how happy I am with 6 points for Yuki jgjejxjwnd that's insane.

Daniel did ok I guess. He had a more difficult drive too but I only care about Yuki today. So so happy.

6. Haas

Did you guys see this drive by both Haases? Did you see what they did? They climbed the most out of everyone. Both in the points????? How did we get here? I don't know but I love it. Hulk is for some reason growing on me more and more. So is Kevin. Idk what happened. Double points for Haas. Who would've thought. Amazing. So excited for them.

7. Williams

James Vowles I'm in your walls. Men will do nothing but disappoint. Would Logan have done better than Alex? Probably not. Is it okay what they did to him? Absolutely not. And they didn't even manage to get a singular point. Disgusted disappointed and flabbergasted. Was it worth it James? Cos I don't think it was. Wasnit worth it for Alex to lose respect in Logans eyes? I don't think so either. And before someone goes but it wasn't Alex fault. If I was in Logans place I would lose respect for Alex for allowing this to happen I said what I said. I would never consider him on my side anymore if I ever did.

This coupled with Alex saying he'd rather have a teammate that's bad so he can get all the praise? Falling lower and lower. Not yet daniel-lando-carlos level of low, far from it, but still dissapointed in him.

8. Alpine

Woohoo can you believe they are not last on my list for once? They did something guys!!! The thing they did is they are not BOTH dead last. Only Este is. AND no one dnfed. Actually there is not much to celebrate. Next race I guess

9. Sauber

Idk what was in the air in Bahrain but Sauber are getting worse and worse. Zhou has completely disappeared. Bottas had another 1 min pit stop (what is it with bottas and put stops?????) And they were just... they were bad. This is starting to look very similar to last year and they gave me hope for .2 seconds for NOTHING!

10. Mercedes

Damn. Where do I start. So nice of Hamilton to park his car in solidarity of Max dnf ing. We love a supportive king. In all seriousness tho (because this is a serious race overview) Mercedes suck. The car sucks. First engine failure of the year and its their own car 3 races into the season. It's not looking good at all.

George oh my god. On one side it's funny bc this exact same thing happened in Singapore? That's insane? I'm ready to light some candles about how crazy it is. On another more important side, it was so so scary. The placement of his car was so dangerous. His radio was so devastating. I cant even imagine sitting there in the middle of the road and just waiting for a car to hit you at 300kmph without being able to do anything about apart for yell for a red flag and hope they listen. So traumatic. I hope he's okay mentally after this. I know these people are stronger than us and their relationship with death and fear is different than mine but this cannot be easy. God I have tears in my eyes just writing about it. Poor George 🥺

That's it. Thank you for reading. There is not conclusion to this I simply covered everything ND my thoughts on everyone 😌

#from now on i will only do 1 part bc 2 parts is hard for me to keep track #f1 #australia 2024 #australia 2024 overview #charles leclerc

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Ares

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares

Lucifer

He cannot overstate what kind of damage this mortal was able to do in their first few seconds in the Devildom...

The instant they got to their feet, they had managed to incapacitate Satan and knock down Beel. Lucifer himself tried to get between them and Diavolo but…

If he hadn’t moved his head, if he was standing just ONE INCH to the left… he wouldn’t have a head anymore. Barbatos was there to intervene, but had he not they could have probably taken out the Avatar of Pride and done critical damage to the Demon Prince himself in one strike...

Frankly, Lucifer prefers not to dwell on that moment... He's sure Ares must be proud of this one...

He pretty much treats the mortal like a live bomb afterward, if he can get away with not interacting with them at all, that’s what he’ll do.

He’s NOT scared of them... much... It’s just that they have a bullish and uncooperative attitude at best and since they know they can take any of them, they don't even consider him - Lucifer, the eldest demon brother - a threat...

But you know what the most frustrating thing is? They won't give him an inch of respect, but they'll always listen to Levi! Levi!!

Look, Lucifer knows he may not hold a rank among the Hell's army and he might not have been a major player in the Celestial/Demonic wars of the day, but he's still the strongest demons here, dammit!! 😡

Lucifer finds nothing is more embarrassing than having to ask Levi of all people to keep the mortal in line because he can't... Oh, the humiliation… He hopes they leave soon...

Mammon

At first, he thought they were scary. But in time he thought they were scary… and also pretty damn awkward.

Mammon wasn’t there when they more or less wiped out the majority of his brothers in the Conference Hall but when he finally showed up he'd never seen Lucifer look so pale… If THAT doesn't make you shit your pants, he doesn't know what will.

Naturally, he kind of toned it down on the "stupid human" stuff real quick after seeing that…

But here's the thing. After the two made a pact together, Mammon started to notice that the MC wasn't all that mean, they were just… violent?

He legitimately thought that they couldn’t stand him for a while until one day a guy on the street called him a dirtbag. The MC threw a punch right there! No questions asked, they just decked that guy!!

It was kind of touching… and messy. Very messy. Did he mention that they’re terrifying yet? 😥

As it turns out, the MC has apparently spent a lot of their life just fighting things and being asked to fight things so they're not very used to showing non-violent affection… 

It took him awhile, but he realized that their way of saying, "I like you," is, "I will attack your enemies." So now all he does when his brothers tease him is say, "I'm telling MC!'' and they'll stop immediately. It's great!! 😁

Considers them to be his bodyguard when he goes out to gamble in some… shadier places. Most of the time not even the bouncers want to take on the MC, ain't nobody getting paid enough to lose that many teeth…

Leviathan

Okay, so. It's not very obvious anymore, but he USED to be on the front lines of the war against demons in the Celestial Realm. He was in charge of battle strategies, he led armies, and even now he still holds the highest rank of the royal navy!

So leave it to the kid of a war god to sniff all that out about him, huh…? They appeared to know all about his record the instant they saw him and they actually seemed to respect him for it!

For context, this mortal tells pretty much everybody to shove off but any time he’s around they call him “Admiral” or “sir” and actually pay attention to what he says! He can tell it drives Lucifer insane, but honestly? It’s a bit of an ego boost. 😌

It’s sort of cute when they come to him asking for tactical advice… They get just as into it as he does with his anime and any time he points out something that they haven't seen before they get so excited it's like they're a kid watching a magic trick. HUGE ego boost. 😏

Speaking of anime, it’s hit or miss whether or not they can watch any of it. Anything with good fight scenes (and let’s be honest, not that much talking) they’re on board for. But if the hero and the villain talk to each other for like an episode before throwing punches then the MC will just rant...

MC: “The enemy is distracted... Why aren’t they attacking yet??”

Levi: “Because the villain killed the hero’s best friend and they’re-”

MC: “They could avenge their friend right now if they ended things right here!”

Levi: “MC, we’ve been over this... That’s not how plot works.”

MC: “And now he got away!! See?? They should have killed him when they had the chance!”

Levi: “*sigh*... Let’s just play some CoD.”

Satan 

The last thing he remembered when the “human” hopped out of the portal was a sharp pain to the side of the temple and Asmo wailing as he fell unconscious…

Yeeeeah, not great. And unfortunately for the mortal the Avatar of Wrath tends to hold a grudge… 

For a comparatively brief moment in time, all of Satan’s considerable ire had shifted away from Lucifer and to their new housemate. They found their bed, clothes, pillows, food, and even their toothbrush cursed!

… But Ares kids must be built from some strong stuff, because half of what he employed didn’t even faze them! He even put an explosive spell on their backpack and not only did they tank the blast, it didn’t hurt them at all!! It was like they’re damn near immortal!

Annnnd they kind of are. Apparently the MC had taken a dip in the River Styx at some point before and became nigh invulnerable…

Was it maybe a little terrifying to know that they had kidnapped a nearly invincible demigod on the level of Achilles? Yes. Did that also mean that they must have had a weakness too? In theory....

Satan honestly devoted a depressing amount of time trying to uncover the “Achilles’ Heel” of his new sworn enemy… until…

The MC was walking with him and Asmo to RAD one morning when they passed by a group of lesser demons harassing a small puppy. Now Satan may be more of a cat man, but NO ONE fucks with animals while he’s around.

He was right about to go over and rip those demons a new one but the MC actually beat him to it! Apparently, the second that they realized what was happening, they launched themselves forward and started bashing the abusers' heads into a wall!

… Live by violence, forgive by violence because in that very moment Satan decided they weren’t so bad after all. He even joined in!

Oh, Asmo gave them both shit all day for the bloodstains on their uniforms and the scratches on their… everywhere, but it’s not like either of them cared. Righteous justice had been served and it was glorious!!

100% would team up with the MC in some kind of vigilante “punish-all-animal-abusers” gig. They have but to ask. 😌

Asmodeus

Oh they TERRIFIED Asmo when they first showed up! How else was he supposed to react?? They brought down his brothers like they were made of cardboard!!

Though he had to admit that the confident, battle-ready look they had about them was sexy as hell, he knew better than to go bear poking! 😣 He avoided them like plague until they finally asked him for a pact.

And then he discovered something… something very unexpected….

They're actually adorable!!!

Okay, like, not in appearance (they look like they could pile drive Cerberus for Pete’s sake!) but he discovered that they have NO CLUE how to handle physical affection. Like zero!!

The first time Asmo actually got the courage to try and hug them he expected them to toss him off, but instead they just stood there like a malfunctioning doll, all flustered and confused… It was so cute!!! 🥰

From that point on, Asmo would take every chance he could to wrap his arms around them or kiss their cheeks just to watch them try and fail to handle it. It's more fun than picking on Levi!!

It took two months for them to finally attempt any kind of reciprocation and even that was adorable! They pecked him on the forehead without thinking about it then nearly passed out from the realization. Apparently, they had never felt like kissing anyone before so he was quite honored!

The brothers know that if the MC's looking too mad to listen to Levi, they just need to call Asmo. A nigh invincible warrior becomes a LOT less scary after you’ve cuddled them into submission! 🤭

Beelzebub

Beel didn't like them one bit, at least not at the beginning. They had managed to get past him and actually attack Lucifer which was NOT a great first impression on their part...

He honestly saw them as a threat for a while, but unlike the rest of his brothers he didn’t avoid them. He just kept an eye on them.... constantly….

Look. Beel is a big guy. Stealth is not his strong suit… If he's tailing you, you're probably going to know about it because there's a six-foot something behemoth in orange following you around while pounding down bags of chips. He's not very subtle…

That being said, after following them around for a while the two finally got to talking and he realized that they didn’t want to hurt anybody or anything. They were just acting on instinct before.

After making the MC promise not to hurt any of his family, they got on much better terms. Hell, he actually got them into fangol!

Beel's sport of choice is pretty much just ultra-violent American football so the MC took a liking to it instantly! After enough begging, the coach let them try out and they got onto his team immediately.

He likes having them as a teammate! They're very good at the game, uh... even if they take it a little too seriously…

They once tried to convince his teammates to decorate the team bus with "the helmets of their fallen foes." They're REALLY into the sport… But hey, they haven't lost a game since they’ve joined. It’ll be fine!... Probably.

Belphegor

Hahaha… He’s in danger… 😥

It took one look at this mortal to make him rethink the whole, “Trick the Human” plan… Since when have humans looked like that?? They could crush his skull under their heel!!

It took all he had in him to play it cool when they first met because his internal monologue was nothing but screaming… THIS was the "human" he had to use to get him out of there?? How in the WORLD was he going to kill them?!

Admittedly, he had to think about it for a while. Belphie's a clever guy… and a demon. So who needs an honorable fight, anyway? If he can’t win one-on-one, then he’ll cheat!

He waited until the MC got the door open and didn't attempt a frontal assault… No laughter, no gloating. He just waited for them to turn their back, claws ready to dig out their heart, and then-!

MC: "Do you really want to try that?"

The MC must have had some kind of danger sense, because they didn't even have to turn around to know what Belphie was doing…

MC: "Look. I like Beel and you're his twin brother… So I'm willing to let this slide. But if you really want to try me…"

MC: *looks over their shoulder with the glare of a bona fide killer* "I won't hold back."

That was... very persuasive.

The MC brought Belphie down to the others peacefully with his tail between his legs and honestly Lucifer was more relieved that he wasn’t a bloodstain on the floor than he was mad… They could have killed him sooo easily… 

They did, indeed, forgive and forget about the whole “attempted murder” thing, though Belphie was never quite able to shake off how frightening they were in that moment… He had nightmares for a while.

Thankfully, Asmo clued him in that the MC would melt into a harmless puddle of fluff if they got even the slightest bit of physical affection... Oh, the sweet payback he could dish out... It’s cuddle time. 😏

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me demigods #obey me headcanons

[arcanadreams]

Water Fights with the OM Bros

it’s 90 degrees outside at my place and you know what that means!!! water fight headcanons because I refuse to go outside in the heat in real life asdhgskjdgks

once again i’m only doing the brothers bc i do not trust myself with the dateables just yet lmao

Lucifer:

Literally only agrees to join because you’re so excited about it.

“...If it makes you happy, MC,” are his exact words. Simp.

You did agree to make the game have no points though, to keep things from getting competitive. Both at the advice of Lucifer and because you knew he would not join if there was any chance he could lose. (Also because Satan is a menace but we’ll get to that later.)

When all the brothers are gathered he suggests everyone pairs up into teams. 

“You’re only saying that so you can cozy with M-” Asmo tries to say before being sprayed in the face with water.

“My hair!” “Oh, look at that. I suppose the game has started,” Lucifer hides his water gun behind his legs, but he can’t hide the shit eating grin on his face.

He takes your hand with a “Come along, MC,” and leads you away as everyone splits up.

You two make a surprisingly good team for this sort of thing! He knows the gardens well and also knows where each of his brothers is likely to go. You are quite skilled water water guns and balloons. He’s basically the brains and you’re the brawn. 

He snatches a few kisses now and then when you look back at him excitedly after smacking one of his brothers with a balloon. You’re just so cute!

When everyone is all tuckered out and goes off to shower and whatever, Lucifer hangs back with you to thank you for organizing everything. With a kiss to the back of your hand, he says, “I’ll admit, I was...skeptical, at first. But, as usual, you brought my brothers together in a way I haven’t seen in a long while. Thank you, MC.” 

Mammon:

“I’m MC’s first man, so I get to team with them!” “You’re also literally my boyfriend, but okay hun.” Cue Mammon blushing beet red at the nickname and muttering at you not to call him that in front of his brothers. (He doesn’t mean it; he loves that they know you’re his and vice versa.)

Strategically, the two of you are the absolute worst. But that’s because you’re both just there to have fun!

And have fun you do! You actually get in quite a few fun chases with Levi! He’s probably the most into the water fight out of everyone, the three of you are just running around the gardens pelting each other with balloons. It’s super cute.

Mammon is absolutely the type to yell “I’ll avenge you, MC!” every single time you get sprayed. 

Eventually, you and Mammon follow Levi’s advice and start hiding in places to catch some of the other brothers by surprise. Which would be fine if Mammon didn’t blush super hard and start grumbling because of how close together you were when kneeling behind the garden wall.

You roll your eyes and surge forward to kiss him. He’s so shocked he has no idea what to do with his hands at first. But, after a second of pause, his water gun falls to the ground with a clatter and he wraps his arms around you.

“Get a room,” Is all the two of you hear before Belphie dumps a whole ass bucket of water on your heads. Mammon growls and jumps up to get the youngest before Beel can scoop him up, but you grab his hand and stop him. 

You’re laughing super hard, and the sun is shining on your hair. You almost look like you have a halo...Mammon gives up the chase before it even starts because his MC is simply ethereal. 

“Mammon!” You smile brilliantly at him when you finally stop laughing. “I kissed you to keep you quiet! And then you managed to make even more noise!” 

He just hugs you then so you can’t see his blushing face. Stupid lovely human making fun of him. (He likes it, though.)

Leviathan:

This boy is literally the MOST excited when you tell him your idea. He was in on it from the very start.

He actually helped you get all the supplies! He opens his Akuzon account right away and starts showing you what water guns would be best and picking out huge packs of balloons made specifically for being water grenades. (Definitely had looked all this stuff up before in case he found a LARPing buddy.)

You ask him how much Grimm all this stuff will cost and he tells you not to worry. “I’ll cover it!” “But, Levi-” He interrupts you with big blush on his face. 

“L-Listen MC. You’re m-my Henry! And I know this will be fun, s-so...I’ll cover it.” You leap forward and give him a hug, triggering a surprised but equally happy screech.

Honestly he is so excited you proposed an idea like that of your own volition. Like...it just makes him feel like all the games and stuff he finds fun truly don’t bother you. You haven’t been lying; you genuinely are interested in the same things as him. It makes him feel so warm.

When everyone is still arriving, you grab one of your water guns and do that cool spinny thing. You know the thing. The cowboy gun spin. You’re like, “Hey Levi! Check this out!” 

BAM. Boy is OUT. So red his face is steaming. That’s the hottest thing he has ever seen in his entire damn life. What the fuck, MC. He is basically frozen on the spot out of sheer overwhelmed-ness as how hot that was. You have to drag him away when the water fight starts. Totally worth staying up all night figuring out how to do the spin trick with a water gun.

Once the action gets going, you two are unstoppable. No one escapes the fight unscathed thanks to y’all. All those late night Call of Duty sessions trained you for this!!

Your favorite tactic is definitely camping, though. You and Levi would pick a spot and hide there, waiting for one of his brothers to come by, and then...ATTACK!

If it actually were a competition, you two would’ve won by a landslide. But honestly, Levi didn’t really keep track. He was having too much fun watching you. You were so mesmerizing when you were in the zone and so gorgeous when laughing as you gave him victory high fives after a successful ambush. 

You let him take a picture of you posing all tough with your water gun and he makes it his DDD background immediately. And his lockscreen so you can protect his DDD from intruders.

Satan:

THIS ASSHOLE. THIS MAN IS THE REASON YOU MADE SURE THERE WAS NO COMPETITION.

If there was any sense of competition, Satan would’ve gone absolutely out of his mind to beat Lucifer. He would make sure to destroy that man’s dignity as thoroughly as possible.

So, for the sake of both him and the eldest brother, no points. No contest. He grumbles about it, but, much like said eldest brother, he still joins because he sees how happy the idea of a family water fight makes you.

 Satan treats is almost as seriously as Levi does. EVEN THOUGH YOU MADE SURE IT WASN’T A COMPETITION, HE DAMN SURE STILL ACTS LIKE IT IS. UGH.

Literally pulls a map of the House of Lamentation’s gardens out of his back pocket??? And puts it on the side of the fountain?? And starts planning maneuvers on it with you??? He pulls a pen out of his SWIM TRUNK POCKETS to use to point with and emphasize his points. You just blink at him. This is your mans. Good lord.

Considering his expert knowledge of the layout of the entire surrounding area of HoL from that map, he actually knows of some secret passages the other brothers don’t even consider. He takes you to them so you can use them to spy on what Lucifer’s the other brothers’ strategies are.

It’s only once you’re creeping around the tunnels that he realizes something: none of his brothers know where you are. They can’t bother you...time to make out.

Grabs your attention with a quiet, “MC” and gives you a smooch. Soon enough he is backing you up against the wall. A water balloon you have tied to your belt pops against the rough brick, interrupting the two of you.

Satan disregards it and move to kiss you again, but you let out a gasp. He’s worried for you for a moment: did you scrape yourself? But when you turn to look at him, there’s a mischievous glint in your eye that he loves to see. 

“My water broke!” You whisper-exclaim dramatically, covering your mouth in fake shock. Satan has to nuzzle his face in your neck to avoid laughing and filling the tunnel with the echo that would alert his brothers. The two of you basically just canoodle in the passages until the water fight is over LMAO

Asmodeus:

Pretty much just to show off how good he looks in a bathing suit to you and anyone else who happens to be lucky enough to witness his glory.

He’s not the best at water fights and ends up using you as a human shield sometimes adjgfkjshf

“Asmo! Stop hiding behind me!” “I am not letting Lucifer mess up my hair twice in one day, darling!”

He comments quite often on how hot you look. Both in your bathing suit and also when in the zone looking for victims to douse in watery fury. You look like an action hero, MC! Have you ever thought about becoming the next Bond? Asmo could definitely pull some hypnotic strings.~

Every time you successfully pull him out of the way of an oncoming water balloon or block a blast of water from hitting, he totally melts. He presses his back to your chest, swooning against you and batting his eyelashes.

“Oh, MC, my hero! My dashing knight in shining armor!” You scoff, but think it’s super cute. You even play into it sometimes and pick him up bridal style.

“The king is looking for you, my prince,” you say once as you lift him, and he actually blushes. Asmodeus, avatar of lust, blushes at a silly pet name. He was not expecting you to get so into the role!!! He loves it, though.

For the rest of the water fight the two of you are basically roleplaying a royal and his knight bodyguard. It is stupidly fun and the both of you have an absolute blast.

“Oh, MC, my darling knight! I have amazing news!” Asmo says after the fight ends. You’re drying his hair off with a towel. “Yes, my liege?” 

“In exchange for your wonderful and dutiful protection, you have been given permission by the crown to court me! Isn’t that wonderful?” He smiles and you throw your head back in a laugh. You lean down and give him a nice, long kiss on the lips before pulling away. “That is absolutely splendid, your highness.”

Beelzebub:

He loves the idea because it’ll get his whole family together and he knows it. He has to carry Belphie out there but that’s normal.

He helped you and Levi plan!! Excited boy. You filled him in when he joined you and Levi for a game night. He totally volunteered to go get some extra supplies from some nearby stores for y’all. So cute.

Once everyone is actually fighting, this boy WILL NOT STOP BEING A HUMAN (demon?) SHIELD FOR YOU. LIKE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TELL HIM IT’S FINE, YOU’RE FINE, HE WILL NOT STOP.

“Babycakes, it’s okay. It’s water. It can’t hurt me.” “But I love you. I want you safe.” O H. O K A Y.

Someone call a doctor Beel just shot MC through the heart!!! He’s so genuine you just bright red and kiss his cheek because he deserve it.

“Well, I guess that’s settled then, huh?” He gives you a big Beel smile and nods, ruffling your hair affectionately.

Y’all get sprayed with water A LOT because your hungry boy is very big and hard to hide. Er, I should say HE gets sprayed a lot because he is a fantastic meat shield and you’re practically dry by the time the fight is over. He, on the other hand, is soaked to the bone.

He still insists on drying you off with a towel, though. The two of you dry each other off back in the twins’ room while Belphie dozes nearby in his bed.

You’re in the middle of drying his shoulders when he just starts talking. “That was really fun, MC. I’m really grateful for you. Ever since you’ve been here, things are always more fun. And you bring all my brother together. Thank you.” 

You damn near burst into tears!!! Ahhhh!!! You sniffle and jump into his nap, wrapping your arms around him. “But MC, I’m still wet.” “I don’t care!! I’m giving you snuggles!!”

Belphegor:

Literally does not give a single fuck about a water fight until he realizes it lets him throw shit at Lucifer with absolutely zero consequences. Then he is all in.

Beel doesn’t even have to carry him around during the fight! Once he is outside and realizes all the shenanigans he can pull, he is perfectly content to grab you by the hand and be the one dragging you around, for once!

You two will probably team up with Satan and Beel at various points. Beel because he’s Beel, and Satan because he and Belphie absolutely set water balloon filled booby traps for Lucifer.

That’s his preferred strategy: set up a trap and wait in the bushes, watching for the target to approach.

He’s definitely the type to yell “Every man for himself!” if someone catches you guys hiding. Unlike his twin, he lets you get totally soaked while he runs away laughing. Dickweed.

You guys have a lot of fun, though!! Seeing Belphie excited is always a treat for you. And, though he doesn’t say anything about it, Belphie also thinks it’s a treat whenever you scheme with him. You don’t join in on his mischief often, so he always cherishes the times you do.

Eventually, after soaking Lucifer thoroughly, Belphie eventually gets a bit tired. You, however, want to keep the fun going. So, just as he begins to dose off in your hiding spot...you spray him. Right in the face. 

He opens his eyes and sees you raising an eyebrow at him challengingly, giggling to yourself. He growls playfully and grabs his own water gun, quickly giving chase as you bolt. 

Being a demon, he’s much quicker than you. But he lets you think you can escape for a few minutes before catching up to you and wrapping his arms around you from behind. 

As you squirm and laugh in his embrace, he feels thankful he joined in on the fight, even if he was hesitant at first. After all, it led to this moment, where he can turn you around in his arms and give you a nice kiss as you melt against his chest.

#ta da!! another idea i've had for the longest time #posts #my writing #obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor

[yo-anna0315]

Soukoku and a kiddo HCs

Some of this might refer to my own OC rather than just any kid, but anyway Dazai is still with the ADA, Chuuya is either the mafia boss or still an exec under Mori.

Chuuya has a fondness for stray kids and Dazai is impartial to orphans because of Odasaku, but neither of them plan on having kids or adopting because wow they have hectic lives and they themselves are very chaotic.

They’re also doing this new thing called can we have a functional relationship with each other?  This includes Chuuya not turning to alcoholic tendencies every time he gets overwhelmed and Dazai not attempting to actively kill himself without going to Chuuya or someone else first, and the both of them trying to open up and trust each other more outside of combat.  

Chuuya is probably walking home to one of his safehouses late at night, and some street kid comes and pickpockets him.  And GETS AWAY with it.  Chuuya is just shocked because excuse??? Some runt just came and picked his pocket???  He’s more amazed that someone would dare to pick his pocket and succeed rather than be annoyed.  Well damn.  The kid didn’t take anything important, just a bit of pocket change so Chuuya doesn’t care.  But he’s impressed.  

Dazai finds out when Chuuya mentions it over dinner and he’s DYING of laughter.  He wants to meet this kid.

“Chibi got mugged!”  “I didn’t get mugged, you asshole!  I just said they stole some pocket change!”  “Ah, Chibikko’s losing his touch.  “You bastard!”

So Dazai does what Dazai does best and finds the kid without Chuuya even telling him a single thing.  

“All I do is check the security cam footage you have around the safehouse, but that must be too big for your sheepdog brain to handle.”

The kid is a little snappy at first because who the fuck is this bandaged wearing idiot asking if they stole something.  They live on the STREETS, what DON’T they steal?  And then it clicks that they stole from a Port Mafia Executive.  And Not just ANY PM Exec, they stole from the Gravity Manipulator.  

The kid: “haha I’m in danger”

Dazai catches them and brings them back to Chuuya’s apartment and the kid is freaking out because oh my god, I’m going to lose my hand for stealing.  Or worse!  And Dazai is just so happy, what an asshole

“Chibi!”  “What do you want, asshole?”  “Look!”  “Did you KIDNAP a fucking child!”  “No, this is kid who stole from you, remember?  The one who mugged you and stole your cash!”  “You kidnapped a child.”

At this point the kid is in hysterics because why is he so happy?  What’s going on?  Are they going to die???  And then Chuuya, always the one with manners, is like I’m sorry my asshole boyfriend kidnapped you, can I make it up to you with dinner and a shower?

They’re not going to turn down free gifts, but they are extremely on edge.  But Chuuya is a great cook and his shower is luxurious because he knows how to treat himself right (unlike a certain mackerel).  

So the kid takes a shower first because hot water is utterly delightful and should never be wasted, they have two bowls of ramen and rice with nori sheets because hunger.  Chuuya is appreciative because at least someone appreciates the hard work he puts into his food.  Dazai is secretly relieved because he won’t have to eat the leftovers and he can just eat canned crab without feeling guilty.

Dinner and a shower turns into a night on the lounge in the study in safety and comfort, which turns into breakfast in the morning, which turns into dinner every few months and the cycle repeats until Dazai spills sake on the lounge and insists that the kid move into the spare bedroom for the night.

This kid is like okay wtf.  Chuuya is exasperated, Dazai is scheming.  Chuuya makes them have a sit down conversation because he’s trying to be better and the kid doesn’t need more dysfunction in their life.  They extend an open invitation for the kid to come by whenever they want.

“Or you could just stay, it’s not like we’re not used to you at this point.  And you haven’t run away screaming from us so we haven’t messed up yet.”  “Dazai… what the fuck.” 

Dazai and Chuuya agree to keep the kid away from the mafia, mostly Mori because Mori could use the kid as leverage over both Chuuya and Dazai and thas no bueno.  (If Chuuya’s the mafia boss then he’ll probably keep the kid away from the mafia, unless they want in then he’ll sit down with them and have a talk to make sure they know what they’re getting into).  So, Dazai gets a little shadow that just kind of loiters around the ADA.

Dazai trades completed paperwork for tutoring lessons from Kunikida when he has time, Yosano teaches them anatomy and basic first aid, Atsushi, Ranpo, Tanizaki, Naomi and Kenji get a new friend.  Fukuzawa sometimes spends time enlightening the kid about politics and strategy and history, or watches over the kid when Dazai has to work on a case.  

Kouyou finds out about the kid on accident and whisks the kid away to teach them etiquette and class and spoils them with shopping.  Despite her loyalty to Mori, her fondness of Chuuya keeps her from outing the kid to the Boss.

At home, Chuuya teaches the kid martial arts and if they have an ability then Chuuya and Dazai team up to coach the kid through developing their power whatever it may be.  Dazai also teaches the kid how to pick locks and psychology, like how to read body language, how to lie, how to get the truth from someone.

I feel like the kid wouldn’t completely abandon the streets, so they go visit old friends and bring left overs or snacks or water bottles to their friends still on the street.  

Even though they don’t need to, the kid has connections through other street orphans so they can relay information to Dazai and Chuuya.  

“There’s been this group trying to take over one of the ports, but we can’t find any intel on where their base is located or who they are.”  “Oh, you mean the group of people taking shelter in one of the abandoned warehouses?  They’re so rude.”

“The killer escaped, but they aren’t sure how.”  “If you go down this alleyway, you can sneak over the wall.  It’s hard, but once you figure out how to get over, it’s really easy to lose people.”

Dazai and Chuuya have a push and pull type of relationship.  It’s balanced for the most part because they trust each other and know each other well, but sometimes it tips too much like when Dazai gets flighty and suicidal and refuses to tell anyone or when Chuuya starts falling back on alcohol, then it’s a little rocky.  But I feel like having someone else to provide and care for and receive help and appreciation helps them to balance out.

I really like this headcanon because I’m a sucker for found families and Soukoku deserves to be happy dammit. 

#do people get nervous about posting stuff? #soukoku #soukoku headcanons #headcanons #skk #bungou stray dogs #bsd #i LOVE found family tropes #also the thought of Dazai being responsible for another human being is amusing to me #because disaster mackerel #I would trust Chuuya with a kid #I would only trust Dazai with a kid if he had Chuuya #I bet Chuuya spent a lot of time with kyouka when she was PM #I might make a part 2 of this #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya