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levmada · 4 months

Note

PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.

I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

#levi aot #snk levi #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #aot levi #aot levi ackerman #attack on titan levi #aot meta #levi heichou #rivaille heichou #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #lance corporal rivaille #levi snk #levi.thoughts #aot #attack on titan

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yandereaffections · 1 year

Text

Peter Parker Masterlist (MCU)

this boy is gonna have a whole post just for himself cause damn

The Spider Boy

Headcannons

Pinning

14 and 46 with Peter Parker

“Dont you love me?”

“I’ll ruin you if I ever see you talking to my love again”

“I sent you more gifts! do you like them?”

Not Crushes Soul Mate

Comforting recently broken up Crush

Pretending to be a couple

Copycat trying to court Crush

Valentines Day

Yandere Copycat

Bullied S/o

Oblivious crush

S/o that loves Physical Affection

Panic attack comfort

S/o who doesnt believe in marriage

jealous cause the kissing scenes in your preforming play

Happy Birthday

Trying to get S/os parents approval

S/o with invisibility power

S/o with a bad home life

Aunt May finding out Peter kidnapped S/o

Kidnapping headcannons

Peter coming into S/os dimension via Movie

S/o who ran away/Disappeared

S/os a mermaid

starting college before him

Teenage pregnancy

Scary movie marathon

Pumpkin Carving contest

Married in LA

Zombie Apocalypse

S/o being frightened from watching horror movies alone

Post Infinity War, Ghost! Peter

First meeting, stalking, and taking pictures of Crush

S/o w/ superiority Complex

S/os the daughter of Tony Stark

Queen S/o

The type of Photos Peter will have of S/o

photoshoping himself into pictures with S/o

Manipulative S/o

“Dont say youre lonely, you have me!”

Halloween HC

“i love you, and ill do anything to prove it”

Body image issues

Yandere Crush

Dealing with another Yandere whose after you

crushs a weeb

Youtuber S/o

S/os protective best friend

Joining the side of his Villain S/o

Jealous cause S/o likes WWE

S/o whose close with their family

Touch starved S/o

“dont run away from me”+ “i need you”

Movie Star S/o

S/o who loves to be doted on

Movie Star S/o prt2

Jealous caused youre shipped with others

Being separated in classes

Jealous cause S/os spending more time with Ned

Jealous because of S/os protective, clingy Little sister

S/os parents finding out about his yandere traits

Youtuber! Peter obsessing over S/o

S/os friends trying to separate you

Someone else asks S/o to be their Valentine first

S/os father, Tony, not liking peter

Workaholic S/o

Popular S/o

Vampire S/o who feels bad for feeding

Touch starved Peter

Straight Forward S/o

S/o with a terrifying Father

Relaxing w/ you after Spiderman duties

S/o who finally escapes

Athletic S/o

Thinking your cheating

S/o who constantly loses her glasses

Druggie S/o

Childish Drunk S/o

S/o being taken advantage of

Jealous of your friendly Teacher

S/o hiding her chest

S/o Hiding behind him

Comforting Workaholic S/o

Constantly tired S/o

S/o who stalks, takes pictures, and steals peters underware

Trying to break up with Peter

Proposing to Peter

Suddenly jumping on peter for a piggy back ride

Taking a depression nap

Someon flirting with Naive S/o

Selfless Kidnapped S/o

S/os Parents disapprove of the relationship

Short S/o struggling to keep eyecontact

Fighting anyone who bullies peter

Online Crush coming to visit

pyromaniac S/o

Recharging after Finals

Villain S/o dating Peter to kill him

Stoping Server Workaholic S/o

Stopping S/o from fighting

Another yandere kidnapping S/o

S/os Suicide TW

S/o with acrylic nails

Pregnant S/o running away

Getting better score than Peter after he Tutored you

Surprised by how muscular Peter is

S/os a unknown Hero

Peter paranoid at S/os birthday party planning

Stalker S/o forgetting to turn of their cameras Flash

S/o that does archery

Voice actress + Cosplayer S/o

S/o coming to America for College

S/o on her period

S/o asking for tech help at ungodly hours

Emotionally immature affectionate S/o

Sterile S/o

Someone trying to get your pantie shot

Intimidating but sweet S/o

S/o whos chill with Peters yandere traits

Player S/o

S/o with negative affiliations

Learning Sign Language to Adopt a deaf child

Bad, corny pickup lines

College S/o bringing back gifts from their Home Land

embroidery w/ S/o

Avengers finding kidnapped S/o

Gamer Rage S/o

What kind of parent Peter is

S/o accidentally revealing their powers

S/o being harassed because of “Thin Privilege”

S/o Shuting down when kidnapped

Autistic S/o

Tourist Crush

Comforting S/o whose parents are divorcing

S/o who loves to do calligraphy

S/o who Friendzones everything

S/o hacking into Stark Industries

Gluten allergy S/o

Pissed S/o punching a whole in the wall

Starving Succubus S/o

The Purge + Hunted down

S/o whos not allowed to celebrate Halloween

S/o who is immune to Incubus Peter

Kuudere S/o + Haunted House

Overworked S/o due to parents

Stockholm S/o with a Crippling phobia of the outside world

Monster fucker S/o being disappointed she wasnt kidnapped by a Orc

Saying a Werewolf pun to Werewolf Peter

Kidnapped S/o asking for videogames

Stockholm S/o with a Crippling phobia of the outside world PRT2

Werewolf S/o

S/o that can bring dolls to life

Bad Necromancer S/o

Telepathic S/o

Demon S/o

Escaped Naga S/o

Monster S/o Attacking peter

S/o who speaks in older languages the angrier they get

S/o having a breakdown

S/o who is secretly a DJ

Going to halloween party with Dullahan S/o

Exhausted yard worker S/o

S/o not caring for their birthday anymore

Finding out S/os a harpy

Finding S/os sleeping on the streets

People Pleaser S/os friend commits suicide TW

Tsundere S/o

S/o being upset for what peter did in their dream

S/o sneaking out to go Black Friday shopping

S/o staying home for their birthday

Knowing Spidermans peter when he saves S/o

Android S/o finally showing a huge step in affectiom

S/o just moving to NY

S/o escaping to go to McDonalds

Independent Crush in a Zombie Apocalypse

Immortal S/o pranking people in brutal ways

“What if we ran away together, JK kidding… Unless?”

Crush trying to get peter and their friend together

Stalking S/o to their safety

S/o has hyphema

Darlings brothers are terrifying

S/o sneaking out to star gaze

Murdering someone S/o knows

Yandere S/o not liking Aunt May

Witch S/o giving peter a magic Romba

Artist Male S/o gifting peter a portrait of Uncle Ben

Kuundere S/os parents not supporting them

Cat girl/boy S/o

‘Dead’ s/o being found

Dotting on stressed peter

Succubus eating off of affection rather than lust

Bullied s/o fighting back

S/o who acts like a cat when they want his attention

S/os name is hard to pronounce

Yandere letters

1st generation immigrant S/o who isnt good at English

Bratty S/o

Drider

S/o has a friend thats basically their kid

S/o who forgets to eat

S/o who forgets to sleep

Joining S/o in gym

Darling with Fainting spells

S/o who forgets to take their meds

Depressed darling comfort

S/o addicted to monster energy drinks

Izuku Midoriya vs Peter Parker

S/os obsessed w/ space

Keeping naive S/o out of trouble

Male s/o that flirts alot

Motherly S/o

Hunted down by Werewolf peter

Aro S/o who loves physical affection

Pleasing

Pleasing prt2

NS FW alphabet A-Z

Sub Peter w/ Male S/o

Creampied w/ Male S/o

NS FW headcannons

Using your underwear

Jerking off in S/os bed when theyre away

Watching S/o masturbate through closet door

Omega peter convincing that hes a worthy mate. slightly NS FW

Breeding + Submissive

Breeding kink

Worked up in the middle of school

NON-CON Breeding kink

Sexually frustrated S/o

Sitting on Peters face

Indulging Male S/os dirty fantasy’s of Spiderman

Soulmate + Somnophilia

Sensory deprivation w/ Sub Peter

Somnophilia HC

Naga Peter NS FW HC

Somnophilia w/ male s/o

sending him sexy pics

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actualbird · 1 year

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sam's awesome 'are nxx boys good at DDR?' hc post reminded me of this niche hc ive got that i wanted to share

luke pearce is banned from several arcades in stellis

it's not cuz he causes a ruckus or anything, hes actually a really great presence at arcades!! when he finds himself at one, luke will often help kids who are trying to hoard prize tickets at shooting games or dart games or at the basketball arcade machine.

plus---much like in SSR Lukewarm Fragrance where luke's sheer Presence at that coffee shop caused droves of customers to come over just to see him being PRETTY (and drink his coffee)---having luke pearce in one's establishment is a great way to get more people to come in as well.

i mean...imagine....dashing charming luke pearce with a carefree grin helping a bunch of kids shoot hoops at the basketball machine, a charming aura all around him especially once the game is over and the machine spits out a criminal amount of tickets for the kids and they thank him and he tells them to get themselves the biggest prize there is while shyly running his hand through his hair and---i digress

luke pearce embodies the joyous delight an arcade wants to bring and often brings the skill that impresses more people to come over and hes Nice To Look At. so whys he banned?

cuz he keeps breaking game machines accidentally

all game machines that dont involve the player having to exert direct physical force is safe from this kind of untimely demise (and if you listen closely, you can hear the crane game machine inexplicably breathe a sigh of relief), but for the machines that DO need that? well....

here is a non-exhaustive list of arcade game machines luke has accidentally damaged because sometimes hes having such a great time that he forgets to hold back on his not-normal amount of strength:

boxing machine (punched too hard, the punching bag flew off)

hammer strength machine (hit too hard, the sensor broke)

DDR machine (have you seen how strong his kick was in SSR Dark Swirl??? his leg strength is off the charts, and DDR machines face the brunt of that in cracked and banged up tiles)

air hockey (hit the puck too hard that when it went in the goal, it didnt fall down into the compartment, it just cracked the table's wall)

and more

luke, of course, is very apologetic every time this happens and pays to replace and repair any damages (he can even repair it himself!! hes nifty like that!!!) but at some arcade branches, the staff simply felt bad for their poor machines and had to put up a sign

#tears of themis #tears of themis headcanons #luke pearce #tot luke #xia yan

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rin-and-jade · 4 months

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im not exactly sure if this is a system thing but im questioning and i wanted to know if any systems relate to this?

for as long as i can remember ever since i was a kid ive kind of always talked to myself out loud, i remember this happening since i was at least 7 i think but idk for sure. i only do it when im alone. i talk quietly, almost whispering to myself as if im talking to an entirely different person whos sitting next to or behind me even though no one is physically there, i can have entire conversations in my head with these people who arent physically there. it also feels like im over exaggerating my feelings and my tone of voice and expressions when i do this despite never remembering what im talking about. when this happens i dont usually realize it for a while and when i finally do i stop and then kinda forget about it, but not actually, the memory of me talking is still there just not the subject, thats what it feels like at least which is probably how im able to write about it now. i usually just move on with my day after and i cant control what i think or say or do because like i said i dont realize im doing this until i stop doing it.

does this make any sense? is this a system thing or is it something else entirely??? do other systems or other people in general ever do this? i know for sure it isnt a normal thing

Before i answer this question, i asked one of my friends, and two strangers to let me know their thoughts and the end result is: they all said no. It is not something in general people do apparently.

And yes, it is true,, this doesn't sound like a normal thing in general. To me, this sounds like a system thing,, because you had shown clear points such as talking to, as if, there's someone; show poor ability to recall stuffs happening; to an extent, not being able to control over what you think, do and say. This is also similar to how my experience looks like before realizing theres a word for it.

With this realization, i would like you to read a couple sources from the internet or scroll around the system community to see if you can relate.

Plus, look out for signs such as, experiencing bouts of dissociation, or changing your handwriting/typing style, hearing people say that you're inconsistent with your words/answers/opinions, often forgetful, have many unexplained gaps of your days or general memories, and sometimes think you are a completely different person. As my last request for you.

After you've done this, you may conclude your answer and consider wether you're a system or not,, oh plus you might want to type the important stuffs down incase you forget or whatnot. Anyway, good luck and let me know if you need more help/want to share updates!

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #janswersask

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poryphoria · 1 year

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i totally didnt forget to type up the nevadean specbio post until just now WHAT!!! you're crazy

SO EHM. YES HALLO. today ill be chattering abt the various headcanons for nev anatomy ive amassed over the years, feel free to steal from them it would mean the world to me!!! ✨

lemme get this outta the way too- i dont refer to them as "grunts", because the term "grunt" to me is in reference to the cannonfodder clones of the AAHW and similar corporations. nevadean refers to the actual species. it's a helpful distinction imo :} (not to say grunts aren't nevadeans, either- that'd be rude! genetically, they belong to the exact same species, the only physical difference is how they were produced.)

nevadeans are a species built around hyperviolence. all throughout their evolutionary history theyve been bent on finding new and innovative ways to rip eachother to shreds- which is what resulted in their extremely simplistic appearance! the + sign or crosshair on their face is actually a sort of divvet which holds some of their sensory bits- smell along the vertical line, sight along the horizontal line! (fast fact about nev eyes, the eye holes in their skull are vestigial! their actual eyes are small and numerous, lining the length of the horizontal line until the center. since the eyes are still relatively in the right position, this is why they can still wear glasses and goggles over that area!)

the nerves converge in the center of the crosshair, creating an extremely sensitive spot, a natural weakpoint that can disarm someone very promptly if touched. their ears are internal, like a snakes- but the skin overtop them is much thinner, allowing them to still hear pretty well! their mouths typically lie flush to their face unless they're purposefully being moved into a shape- ie while they're talking (or sanfords little meanmug <3)

it is completely unclear why or how their hands are detached from their bodies- creatures in their world can and do have arms, but this is typically a trait reserved for things considered "monstrous" or "beastly", similarly to having large, visible eyes! there is still a bit of a force connecting between their shoulder and hand- if you stick your hand between the empty space, there's a sort of ambient static feeling, like pins and needles. the base of the wrist and socket of the shoulder are both uncomfortable, sensitive areas to touch- very electricity based sensations! the scrapeface incident was a very extreme example of what might happen if a nev is forcibly separated from their hands- in most cases, the hand simply snaps back to the body after a strong shock causes them to let go of whatever it was holding on to.

nevadeans are not exactly mammals. they do not produce milk, nor give live birth- they reproduce asexually like planarians, by taking a very specific graft of a large portion of their skin and letting it grow into a whole new baby- this means that there is no real concept of a "nuclear family" in their society, it's purely based on whatever survival tactics work best. (no gender, either, since anyone can bear a child!)

most people prefer to be given instruction by a medical professional if they want to have a child, so they can be shown precisely where and how deep to cut without injuring themselves or screwing up the baby- it's not necessary, perse, as the reproductive tissue does have a distinctly different texture from the regular skin and can be felt out- however, it's definitely higher risk. to each their own!

(and no, surprisingly, this does not mean babies are just getting up and walking out of corpse-stricken battlefields-- the exact graft one needs to take to produce a child is very specific for this reason alone, and once the cells of the body are medically dead, it can no longer produce children anyways!)

as a consequence of their widespreadness, violent nature and resulting tenacity, nevadeans, when presented with the necessary conditions, can undergo a process known as 'spontaneous evolution' or 'spontaneous adaptation', which is exactly as the name implies! when their simplistic body plan is pushed to it's limits for an extended period of time- weeks, months, years- they may begin to evolve specialized traits to help combat this. the most common one is a tail for balance- observed in construction workers, performance artists, MAGs, zeds, any scenario you can think of that might suddenly and consistently force you to balance your body in a new way! but there's plenty of other examples- webbed paws, brush tongues, changes in vocal range, bioluminescence, a coating of fur- the sky is truly the limit!! if you can reasonably explain what caused them to evolve that trait, there's probably a good reason why they have it!

and some do, in fact, try to take advantage of their bodies by putting themselves on routines to trigger a certain type of evolution, opening up a whole new submarket of body modification culture!!

nevadeans are very social creatures by default. they are most efficient in large groups, working towards a shared ideal or common cause- this makes it very easy for original S-3LFs to rule over them, as they like the sense of unity that pledging their collective loyalty to a single person brings! they have an inherent desire to be physical with their fellow comrades- largely expressed through playfighting (or 'sparring', perhaps more professionally) and social grooming. they make all manner of strange vocalizations at eachother- each individual has their own, unique range of sounds!

everyone can purr, though.

no matter how it sounds.

all of them can and will purr in some capacity.

huhuhu....im sure i forgot a few things but this will do nicely for now :} im morimay and i hope you enjoyed the broadcast! signing off ✨

#madcom #madness combat #madness project nexus #project nexus #pory turgles

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ceasarslegion · 2 years

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My biggest genies wish moment in my life is how i wanted HRT to give me a complete physical overhaul to the point where nobody would ever misgender me again and yknow. I didnt really consider the consequences of that

Im pretty open about being trans to the regulars in my life but i also pass so well and am such an incredibly binary man that they all forget im trans on a regular basis if i dont remind them somehow. I crack quips about not having balls and wanted to cut my tits off at work and every time my coworkers are like "you have TI-oh right"

I havent changed any of my legal documents yet but the guys at the registry fucked up my updated provincial ID and marked my gender as M because i didnt think to shave off my full beard before taking the photo on it. I looked the guy at the desk DEAD in the eyes and told him "look. Contrary to what youre looking at right now my legal gender is still F and its gonna make things legally messy if that gets mixed up" and he nodded at me, i SAW him write a note and stick it to my forms, and then i STILL got an ID in the mail marked "M." Incredible.

The amount of men who come into our store and go off on tangents to me about how they appreciated a guy's help so theyre sure it wasnt tainted by transgenderism is incredible. Sometimes i wanna come out to them right then and there to watch their facial journeys. Take your shopping bag that my tranny hands touched boy

The last time i was at the bank i was accused of identity theft while trying to access my own bank account because the clerk looked at my info on file and back to me like "yeah theres no way pal." He demanded my passport and i had to explain to him that most normal people dont have their passport on them just out and about. He asked for my SIN card, the one document that is literally irreplaceable if lost, and i was like "do you think i carry that around too??!" He only let me into my account when he made me sign my signature and deadass compared that slip of reciept paper to what he had on screen. Why me

Task failed successfully i guess

#shut up dames

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zeldasnotes · 1 year

Text

Mars In The Signs’ 💫

”All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack we must seem unable. When using our forces, we must seem inactive. When we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away. When far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy; feign disorder and crush him.” -Sun Tzu. The Art of War.

-Based on people ive met’-

MARS IN ARIES

These people have a tendency to walk fast. They might be extremely easily irritated in general but especially by slow people. Never walk infront of these people if you are gonna walk slowly. They might turn red easily, especially when irritated. Ive noticed them to lack patience when it comes to people they consider stupid. The best part of these people is that they are all up in your face when angry unless they got Mars aspecting Neptune. They wont pretend to be fine and later plan your revenge like a Scorpio Mars, no these people are straight and honest. They might also be easily angered but they also forget it just as fast. Physically they might look athletic even if they dont work out and they usually have the most amazing eyebrows and gorgeous lips. The headshape is usually very beautiful and prominent and especially the hairline. They can have a very angry walk so people might mistake them for being in a mood. Most Aries Mars people ive met had a love for animals. This is a cardinal Mars and cardinals value respect. Aries Mars have a hard time being patient with people they dont respect.

MARS IN TAURUS

These are the little kids who tell their parents they want to sell some of their toys for money. Super good with money. From a young age. Probably started saving early. These people usually have gorgeous skin and gorgeous necks. Model looks. Very soothing voices too. Their bodies seem to be very nice and the fat on their bodies is evenly distributed. They are very good at getting money even without having a job, but most times they work from a young age. These people are the most likely to only own brand name stuff not because of shallow reasons but because these people care about worth. They see instantly what something is worth. They will feel know instantly when a fabric is of bad quality. These people dont get angry easily but when they do they can hold a grudge for a very long time since they are a fixed Mars. These people have a softness to them that makes them very popular with their prefered sex. Usually known for having style or being good looking.

MARS IN GEMINI

These people use their mouth as a weapon. They know what to say to get to you. Very sneaky. They can be especially good at coming up with sneaky comments so that you will know they are dissing you but nobody else in the room will notice. They have something young and teenage like to their appearance and personality. Might use a lot of slang or a lot of funny phrases. They have this ”naughty” expression like they have a secret but they wont tell. The nose can be very pointy and there might be this bird like quality to them. They usually have a very youthful voice with a high pitch. There is a tendency to gossip here tho, especially when they dont like someone and if their Mars is very afflicted they might lie for fun or gossip just for the same of gossiping, so This can be a real mean girl placement, especially since these people are ”forever young”. There is this flirty quality to them even when they dont mean to people might thknk they are flirting. They are good at the social game, especially at small talk which makes them a lot of fun to be around. People tend to underestimate them because they come across as so funny and happy go lucky all the time that you dont notice how calculating they can be.

MARS IN CANCER

What I love about these people is that they are loyal and the ones most likely to defend you when you are not there to defend yourself. But they can be very passive aggressive. These people might have some intense moodswings because of their sensitivity. They can be very passive aggressive and very rude when in a mood. The interesting part with these people is that they dont like aggression and will avoid it when it comes to themselves but when it comes to defending someone else they are way more aggressive. Its like messing with ”their people” brings out the crazy in them. can have a curvy look even if not curvy. Like they just look ”plump”. Very sweet and they usually have sweet voices. The best at comforting someone. They usually have a good looking breast area. They can have very sensitive skin especially skin thats sensitive to being in the Sun. Might have a lighter skin tone than others from the same cultural background, even when living in a warm country. They like familiarity and might have had the same friends since they were little kids while other people change company a lot during the years. Super nostalgic and you can see how they completely light up when they bump into an old acquaintance from old times. They never forget a person.

MARS IN LEO

These people are the kings of the jungle and that is seen on how they dress and in how they walk. They have amazing style. These people value popularity and appearance but dont mistake me, they are not shallow at all. Loyal and protective over those they love like a true lion. Their ego can become an issue tho. They love being the center of attention and might make jokes and act a little silly to make sure they are. If Mars is very afflicted there is a risk of them making a joke of someone else to draw focus to themselves and to feel big. They might make some innappropriate jokes in group settings to show whos the king of the jungle. But most times these people are quote amazing and if mixed with positive aspects can be extremely loyal and a real knight in shining armor. Their hair is important to them and tied to their ego so these people make sure to always have freshly cut hair, or they can be the type to never cut their mane because they want it as long as possible. A lot of them are on the curvy side from what ive noticed. Might come across as very bitchy or arrogant at first sight but as soon as they start talking you hear how kind they are. They love brand name clothes. If they feel threathened or sad they will act arrogant.

MARS IN VIRGO

Ive noticed that these people are very picky with their appearance. AND others. But Im a virgo so I understand. They are very helpful tho and will do anything to help you out in a situation if they really like you. They want to ”fix” people. The kind of person to start cleaning someone elses room. They usually look younger than they are and they look clean and fresh. You can see on their appearance of perfectionistic they are. There is this ”prude” quality to them. They look like they would never do something crazy, but they would. They look like they would be disgusted if you did something innapropriate infront of them. These people have sensitive stomachs and needs to be very careful with what they eat. They have great work ethic because they have a strong need to feel productive. They tend to have very clear skin and tend to be on the petite side. They have a hard time with anger because they dont know how to express it, its not that they are scared its just that they are not the kind of person to start screaming and they dont like to show emotion. So they usually end up nitpicking instead. Ive heard a lot of these people mention someones appearance when angry. Or say something hurtful just like Gemini Mars do. The more insecure they are the more picky they become towards others.

MARS IN LIBRA

These people do not like conflict and confrontation which is why they can be very passive aggressive. The kind of person to quietly say something rude and then be like ”oh no nothing” when you asked them what they said. Some people with this placement can start to hate this quality about themselves and start acting all overly aggressive to not be seen as scared but it only looks worse honestly. This placement is just not made for aggression and beef at all unless aspecting pluto. These people tend to have a beautiful and social aura that makes them well liked. They have a very alluring walk and very feminine movements. They are romantic and prefer to be in a relationship. Ive noticed they tend to be very ”perfect” socially and personality wise, they are not too shy but not ”too much” either, they just are. Not too polite and not rude either. Perfectly balanced. And they come across as super friendly. They usually have really nice skin. The downside to this placement is that they can have a hard time confronting people and a hard time picking sides, they dont want to upset anyone: So dont count on them to stand up for you or to help you fight someone unless they got like a Cancer Moon or something, because they wont.

MARS IN SCORPIO

These people have a very strong need to put people in their place for any minor inconvenience. They never forget when someone disrespects them. This is the ”they must be destroyed” placement. I bet Stewie from Family Guy would have this placement. They usually have darker tones to hair and skin no matter cultural background. Usually darker skin around the eyes. There is this intense energy to them like they constantly need physical outlet. Might look like they will explode in any second. These people are usually not physically aggressive at all tho, they are the kind of people who will email your boss to get you fired. They want you to suffer long term. They know that throwing a fit will only make them look bad. In their younger years they can be very fake and manipulative just for fun because being sneaky makes them feel powerful and power is extremely important for them. They are social climbers too. Being mad at someone awakes a very nasty side of these people. Anger consumes them. These people are known for being very good in bed but I actually think its more their sexual energy making them come across like that and not the sexual act itself. Not saying they are NOT good in bad, just saying sexual energy which these people possess a lot of makes someone come across as better in bed than they actually are.

MARS IN SAGITTARIUS

These people can become very reckless when angry because Sagittarius is a sign that does not think about consequences. Ive noticed that these people have this ditzy ”bimbo” aura like they dont know what they are doing which makes them charming. This is dangerous to others tho because nobody will see these people coming. They come across as dumber than they are. But these people can be very vengeful and very aggressive when angered, remember that the sign is literally holding a freaking longbow ready to shoot. When they get angry they get really angry and they have no problems with confrontation. These people can easily be recognized by their amazing legs and butt. They are usually very athletic and this is seen specially on their legs. They love to walk or run. I know some Sagittarius Mars people who seriously walk everywhere instead of taking the car. Almost always good looking and super charming. And this is not the polite kind of charming. Its more the ”I dont know what im doing” kind of charm like Neptunians have. They have a tendency to be very clumsy tho but this only make them even more funny. They usually prefer a partner from a different cultural background than them. And they learn new languages very fast.

MARS IN CAPRICORN

These people are usually calm from what ive noticed but they vare A LOT about social status. Dont trash their name ever. These people are attracted to status and power. They know how society works and they know how to get respect. Respect is extremely important for you. They are very impressed by well respected people. They have this calm and collected charm and behaviour, they behave almost like they were trained like the people from royal families are. Everything from how they greet you to how they sit makes them look well off. They are usually very money oriented and just like Taurus Mars they get their first job at a young age. This is the placement most likely to be the boss of a company. They are high achievers and only want the best of everything. They want the best job, the best education, the latest clothes, the fastest car, the finest wine and the most popular partner. They can come across as cold but they are not, they just dont have time for drama because they are busy taking over the world. They are very reliable and if they say they will do something they will. Physically they tend to have attractive bone structure and they are always well groomed. They take good care of themselves because they know how shallow this world is. They know how this world works. They know how to play the game. Tend to come across as older than they really are.

MARS IN AQUARIUS

Mars in Aquarius can be very argumentative because they think outside the box, but sometimes the need to be different is taken too far and they start talking back only to talk back. This is still one of my favorite placements because they are humanitarian and very open minded. But if afflicted they can become the opposite instead. They are free and they do what they want and like who they like. They wont dislike you just because other people dislike you(unless they have capricorn influence). They are rule breakers which is what makes them so fun but this can also make them dangerous. These people turn cold when angry and they have no issues with breaking the rules to get what they want. Its easy for them to detach and it can even be their coping mechanism when life gets hard. They absolutely love anyone and anything that stands out. Ive noticed so many Aquarius Mars people who got android instead of iphone btw. Since they are a fixed sign they will hold a grudge no matter how carefree they might be otherwise. These people love a good debate, they are very intelligent and they love to show it. If afflicted or conjunct Mercury they can be a real besserwisser. They have a very striking appearance. And can have a very penetrating look to the eyes.

MARS IN PISCES

These people can be very shy which is one of their cutest qualities. They do have a tendency to lose themselves in a dream and focus too much of that willpower into something that wont happen. Physically there is something very cute about them like Heath Ledger. Like this cute fluffiness to them. They are very romantic and a lot of them started dating early but probably online because of the shyness. They are very sensitive and prefer to stay away from aggressive people unless they have Mars aspecting pluto. These people can lack sense of reality and see other people as worse than they actually are. Ive seen men with this placement have beef with women because they were afraid of other men. People with this placement unfortunately stay in relationship where they are not treated right for too long because they refuse to let go of the fantasy. Sex with these people can be addictive because they are so gentle and sweet and make you feel love, i dont know how gen z pisces mars people act tho since they have it square pluto. These people can make you feel so beautiful and cared for. Some people with this placement can be VERY passive aggressive and instead of fighting you themselves might get someone else to do it. They are very likely to fight using other people. They might go for a partner whos very dominant and who can do the heavy lifting in the relationship.

House placement and aspects to Mars are not taken inte consideration in this post so not everyone will relate. ✨

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #mars in aquarius #mars in scorpio #mars in aries #astrotidbits #astronotes #mars in taurus

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dual-fantasy · 4 months

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first love / late spring is the chase song ever. lately hes been crying like a tall child. please hurry leave him he cant breathe please don't say you love him. one word from you(emma) and he would jump right off this ledge hes on. tell him dont so he can crawl back in. he was so young when he behaved 25 yet now hes found hes grown into a tall child. humpty is a chemma song. he broke what emma gave him but she kept giving more. they make me physically ill oh my god theres nothing left for you is also a chase(could be chemma post breakup depending on how you interpret the use of you in it) but in a really specific way you just have to understand last words of a shooting star is a chemma at their absolute worst song but, again, in a really specific way you just have to understand. chase learnt from movies how love ought to be geyser is a chase song in a season 1 chemma way. no explanation it just is In Conclusion chaseis mitskipilled. all the way. every song in one way or another (additional thing. with more people jumping on the Changst Wagon im gonna start signing off with 🪦🐕 grave dog!!!!!! from the og changst poster under td takes)

chase is mitskipilled in the most severe way ever. he retired from sad and has a new career in business (his yt channel). the land is inhospitable and so is he.

first love / late spring is so real. it's his self destructive properties and the isolation he puts himself through. the assumption he makes that people are going to ignore him so he doesn't care about it to begin with (he cares so deeply though)

humpty is literally SO REAL like that's perfect. it's one of my personal fav mitski songs and it's just so good for them. he's too frail for her to touch. it goes both ways depending on how you interpret it im soooo normal about this

there's nothing left for you is imo him having to come to terms with leaving the beach house and in general having to abandon his self destruction. he has to leave in order to improve but he finds it difficult even though he knows that there's nothing left for him because it's all he ever knew. and I think the sweethearts door is Bowie because I can do whatever I want

I get last words of a shooting star and geyser but in a way I can't put into words without sounding insane. you're real they've very accurate but it's just that people have to get it I can't explain.

toung tied by free throw is chemma breakup but from chase's toxic abandonment issues perspective. at least in my opinion. did she forget she'd said forever when he asked her how long she would stay? and I the dog/the body by sleater-kinney is chase. trust me it's so good.

and grave dog is literally so cute!!!! more people on the changst wagon is awesome :) I'll tag your posts with 🪦🐕 from now on so they're easy to find

#total drama #total drama 2023 #td chase #total drama spoilers #td23 #td 2023 #🪦🐕#also it's cool that theres more than one person sending anon takes to me! plus the one off anon person thats very fun :)

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acourtofthought · 1 year

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I'm so over the whole " books of buildup" regurgitated excuse from elriels, it's a broken record at this point, there is so much evidence that ACOMAF leaned Moriel, ACOWAR ends with a promising outlook for Elucien, and honestly, ACOSAF, if Azriel wasn't looking at Mor with so much heat, I could maybe give it to them, but, sorry, no. Azriel being hung up on Mor all throughout the series is a huge red flag. The way elriels act like Azriel wouldn't drop Elain like a bag of potato's for Mor really shows you we must have been reading a different series. I'm not saying there was absolutely nothing, but the way SJM wrote it, just fell so flat, it's missing all the components that makeup her endgame formula, and again; MOR, MOR MOR MOR MOR MOR MOR MOR MOR. Even though Mor doesn't feel the same way,HE does feel things for her and it was telling in ACOSF when he wouldn't give Rhys an answer, like, IRL, if you crushing on a guy or dating a guy who wasn't over his ex, you'd just *bE oK* with that. Please. SJM having Az rebound on Elain and Elain with Az to get over Grayson make sense for their arc, but doesn't mean it's endgame. Oh and as far as we know; Elain was still in love with Grayson in ACOMAF, ACOWAR and Feyre notes her sadness over Grayson in ACOSAF, sorry, but two people still longing for another is NOT A GOOD SIGN, no matter how you spin it in a SJM book. That's not how she writes endgame couples. But given how much context I've seen them twist and misinterpret, it doesn't surprise me in the least they cant differiante what a red flag is in a book written by an author who uses adults themes to tell a story, it's like they can't grasp the purpose of Elriel, at all. When I see "why would SJM abandon Elriel after all this...ummm easy, there was never any real buildup to a true romance, y'all saw it for what y'all convinced yourselfs of it to be, they dont read between the lines, disregard a ton of context clues, or think critically when it comes to patterns and the kind of author SJM is (she to date favors mates) and interviews of her talking about Elain and Lucien and telling us in her own words, we can expect tension but growth and healing TOGETHER. It's funny how they conveniently forget that. I see why they try and stamp it out from existence for new readers but we have the receipts.

She has ended canon ships with on page kisses, sex and romance, and Elriels really think she won't let that almost kiss amount to nothing more if she wills it. If they were so confident in their ship, why do they bully, harass and attack anyone who disagree with them? They've bullied published authors, her best friends, her family, book community influencers, podcast hosts, made threats about her kids, e-mail BB NON STOP with threats, the receipts and videos all exist if you know where to look of their disgusting behavior. For a group so confident, they sure don't act like it.

With SJM, she tends to blur the lines when it comes to interactions between some of the characters so a lot of things look like something.

Lucien and Feyre had many scenes that could have strongly hinted at them being together. Nesta regularly wanted Azriel to train her instead, thought he was the prettiest of the three, and even imagined having a threesome with him.

In ACOMAF we found out Cassian slept with Mor and STILL thought about how absolutely perfect her face and soul were in ACOSF, we could easily use the multiple books of buildup for them too.

And the biggest example is the fact that Az has looked at Mor with longing, hunger and yearning for every single book he's been in.

Just because Elain and Az nearly kissed and they are physically into one another doesn't make their hints any more meaningful than the moments those other characters shared when they are still not proven as endgame.

If Feyre and Lucien ended up not together despite her feeling up his bare chest in ACOWAR and him stroking soothing lines down her back, if Mor looking at Azriel in a way Feyre couldn't decipher and him blushing and looking at her with hunger in ACOFAS didn't mean anything, if Cassian actually had sex with Mor yet now looks at her like a sister then there is currently nothing about E/riel that's proof of anything. They are simply two characters exploring an attraction and that could come to mean nothing in the end just as it did for so many other characters.

But that doesn't mean anyone had multiple books of buildup. It will only mean that if they end up together and as it stands, E/riel isn't looking good. Like you said, there are some very concerning red flags that exist for them that weren't there for others. Like the most raw and real thing we've seen E/riel discuss is her garden.

Where are the discussions about Graysen? Mor? Her being made? Her losing her father? His struggles with his heritage? Even Nesta had deeper conversations with Cassian before her book and 99% of their interactions were snarking.

There is no endgame couple without the two characters being very real with one another, as uncomfortable as that can be and E/riel just doesn't have it.

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rotisseries · 8 months

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the next cut is . after hours of walking. "these tunnels go on forever and we've been down here for hours." <- theo. "no real news from the last time you said it 20 minutes ago." "i wasnt doubting thr plan 20 minutes ago." "if you're so concerned just go. i mean no ones forcing you to stay here." "yeah and leave you and our 'army' in charge of my survival? dont think so." "whatever it takes just to save your own ass, and just nobody elses." which is objectively not true. saved liam. saved scott. "im Here arent i? .. maybe i wanna be in the pack." he sounds so hopeful and . well. after he says that mason slows down and theo doesnt realize at first and looks back at him bc he walked past and mason js like "yeah Right. you-you expect me to believe that? " and hes breathinf HARD. he feels strongly about this "a pack js about trust. i mean the first thing youd do is figure out a way to kill all of us. and and it doesnt matter who forgets. i wont." his hand is shaking on his bat in anger and fear and also because his leg got shot and its killing him and mason says "i saw scotts mom. i saw what you did. and as much as im terrified of whats down here, i am way more terrified of turning my back on you." excuse me while i wipe a tear. theo looks so hurt when he says that and his hands start shaking and he hadn't really shown any physical signs of fear until then. and then he shifts and tackles mason to the ground and its NOT what you think. HE WAS SCARED BC THE ANUK ITE WAS NEAR AND HE KNEW IT. HE SENSED IT. AS SOON AS HE TACKLED MASON , AARON SHOWED UP BESIDE THEM AND SWUNG A PIPE OR SUM WHERE MASONS FACE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. he probably noticed his fear along with masons because of what he was saying and how hard he was shaking and sweating and . his voice cracking and . yeah. say what u want about theo but never say he's not perceptive. idk why i said that thats like one of the first things u learn ab the guy. core character trait.

i need to talk about mason saying "and and it doesnt matter who forgets. i wont." because i know hes talking about liam. mason knows theo and liam are close now. in a way. liam is his best friend he knows why he was okay with mason leaving and being alone with theo. yeah sure he can handle himself but he knows liam sees theo's different now. masons not saying hes not. hes saying he's not going to let it go. that its something he cant erase no matter who he gets to trust him. BECAUSE HE KNOWS LIAM IS STARTING TO TRUST HIM AGAIN. (MAYBE EVEN REALIZES THAT THEO IS IS LIAMS ANCHOR) AND THIS IS WHY MASON HAVING THIS DEEP ROOTED FEAR AND HATRED FOR THEO IS SO BAD. theo knows thats his best friend!!!!!!!!! that no matter how theo acts now for years and years no matter how much he helps and sticks by liam, mason will never approve. because its him!!!!! and that fucking sucks. the CLOSEST PERSON TO LIAM besides scott!!!! literally like your boyfriends best friend telling you you'll never be good enough for them. that you will never be good. basically what happened. i can get worse tho. just a little bit.

shovel talk!!

#:((((#ask #ghoultaffy #hi jayme!

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anakinskywalkerog · 9 months

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omg no way tumblr never bothered to tell me you replied. plus why is nothing showing up in my following feed??? a bone to pick for next time ig

ahaha i missed this too you're so good with advice! ❤ and thank you hehe i have been informed the new pfp it a character calld lust from an anime called fullmetal alchemist, but i just like the aesthetic

it really is and thank youuuuu! im sure it will! *sends ✨good luck✨*

hmm i dont wanna obsess over han at all, because first of all, ELI! that would be unfair. and han is sort of crazy, anyways. i am listening to i can see you from speak now tv but i shouldnt because it reminds me of han. it also reminds me of anakin. very anakincore track. i cant help it though, i can see you is so good, although it gives more of a reputation vibe than speak now tbh. still love it anyways and thank mother taylor for it. are you enjoying speak now tv? what's your favourite track? i think im enjoying mine, mean and back to december, but everything is ofc v nice! wish we had a mine pop mix tv and some more beat to enchanted, but its perfect as it is!

yess "there will be plenty more guys 😂 trust me." that's exactly what i thought, too! like, he's here now, but someday there's going to be someone else EXACTLY like that. although it might not be so bad if i did make a decision influenced by him because he and i have a similar objective - physics/engineering degree at oxford/cambridge so its a win-win no matter which way i go ig. plus we're academic rivals. competition is the norm for us. but about intrigue with han...

"oh? whos your friend? (i asked han to pose for one of my snaps hehe) is this friend good-looking?"

... dude? like, WHAT? that sounds like pretty blatant flirting to me.

but lets not forget that once we were in the corridor and bro leaned in super close (keep in mind this was months ago and this was in the middle of like 15 other people anyways) and i leaned away out of reflex 😂 i think he looked at me later with a very patronizingly disappointed

kinda expression. i think that was a test, and i failed miserably but thats fine 💀

eli really is we even have loads of similar interests!

yw and sameee! it is hehe she even send me memes and is a pedro pascal stan (as she should. pedro pascal is an icon. love him) ! very happy with that

oh no, is everything okay? can i do anything to help? if it helps, my life is only peaceful because i am in isolation from all friends, hehe i need time to regenerate. i am an ambivert at heart. my extrovert meter needs to recharge lmaooo

also, a part of me wonders if cranberry is mad at me? basically, he aksed me to write a steamy story abt him and han (thyre best friends) and didnt want his gf to find out incase she thought he was weird (bro she already does. shes ur gf. she knows what weird she signed up for smh)

anyways i made a small oopsie. i asked some people to critique it for me, and one of those poeple may have been the girl from my diary, whos friends with cranberry's gf, and who previously told machete i liked him when i wanted it to be a scret and explicitly told her so, and the one who i knew cannot be trusted with secrets because she will tell someone and lie about it 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

anyways cranberry was annoyed (and understandably so.) he said his gf was mad at him (impossible - if she was, shed be mad at ME first cos thats how women are. better than revenge is living proof. but she isnt! ) and i get it, but then people stop being mad, right? i mean, ive been really mad at him too, for a variety of reasons. i forgave him though and he didnt even apologize like i did! but he seemed normal at prom perhaps a bit icy? a guy friend told me im overthinkinngit and while he may have been annoyed it doesnt mean hd stop being friends with me or anything, and that he definitely wouldnt stay mad because its not a big deal.

but i texted him cranberry with a pretty obvious joke and he didnt even find it funny??? like thats HIS sort of joke??? how does he ot find that funny??? my friend says he must be mad then, but says theres the chance he just didnt find it funny?

like, i get it, but i want to make amends! and i wont even see cranberry in person so i can never tell. but if he was mad, he wouldve blocked me, or left me on delivered, or just opened. but he even sees my stories n stuff!

plus his friends would be mad if something happened. like guys are super gangy like that. but his friends are not mad at all, like han and this other guy are totally normal and no one sad that. even when han brought it up the day after the whole thing, he didnt imply it was serious and just dropped it after joking around abt it.

my friend did say if i was friends with cranberrys friends, it doesnt mean they have to be mad, but what if cranberry and his gf broke up over something as stupid as a joke???? and it was my fault??? i would feel awful and i cant even tell or say sorry.

nor can i ask han over text cos then hed tell cranberry and itd be weird. and i cant ask eli cos i dont want to set a bad rep.

he texted about it and i delved into a tiny argument he said its fine but "just think more next time". i think he and han both know i didnt mean for this to happen and that it was a genuine accident, but people gte hurt over things even if they know it wasnt meant to hurt them. shoulve said no is proof of this.

but they did send me a video of them reading the story together [cranberry and his friends, it was han who filmed (i did ask them to film their reaction)] and cranberry was cracking up as he read it! if he was mad he wouldve abandoned it. but they sill seemed to love it. surely if cranberry was mad at me, then that wouldnt have happened?

jesus christ, thats LONG. i apologize for troubling you, i didnt think itd get this long! its just been on my mind :( ironically it happened yesterday just after i was so happy. ugh. boys are awful

yes haha thank youuu :) if you're okay with my constant somewhat accidental drama dumps, i definitely will :D

love you and stay safe x

hi sythe so sorry it took me so long to respond to this!

I hope all is well with Eli. but GIRL have I been listening to “I Can See You” sooooo much it’s literally the delulu girl anthem! I love it. having a little crush on Han just adds some spice!! there’s nothing wrong with a little seasoning to an otherwise boring existence 😂

I am okay 🩵 just really been struggling with my OCD lately. I hope it gets better soon.

no fuckinf WAY cranberry asked you to write a steamy story!!? girl that is NOT platonic. what are these men doing out here 😂😂😂😂 but I agree, very unlikely that he is mad at you

I love the drama dumps, I wish we could vent together for real because I have been ALL over the place with my drama lately 😅 but it’s fine, it adds the comedy. i’m watching my own life like a work of absurdism. I would absolutely recommend that strategy.

#answered asks

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