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strkyoo · 6 months

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✦ 彡 OCTOBER PASSED ME BY

pairing ; various fem genshin characters x fem!reader — slight fluff to angst w/ no comfort !

warnings ; break-ups?, reader died in some part, a bit of desperation in some part too, light tw on the last part?? (talking abt deaths), gamon (gagal move on/failed to move on) yahaha — wc ; 0.9k

kyo’s note ; awal oktober is like “we fell in love in october” while akhir oktober is “october passed me by”‼️‼️ SO TRUE (im not ok) (i also got lazy at the end u could tell)

〉MASTERLIST〈

i keep the letters that you wrote in a secret place.

when you two were still together, you always bought things that reminded each of you of each other. plush toys, jewelry, matching outfits, and other items. letters are also included—she loves to exchange letters with you, especially when you’re away from each other.

but now, all the things you bought for her are all meaningless. without you by her side anymore, what does these things even mean to her? these things now had no value. the urge to break them and get those things out of her sight is just… too intense. yet, she can’t. she knew your last wish for her was to take care of the things you had bought for her. she hides them in a secret place, sometimes would look at them and gradually think about how these things used to make her smile like a fool. oh, how she missed this feeling— how she missed you.

YOIMIYA, FOCALORS, amber, xiangling, ganyu, KIRARA, LISA, NINGGUANG, keqing.

yeah, i got bitter when you got cold, and could you really blame me though?

you were a sweetheart in her eyes. someone so sweet, soft, kind, gentle. someone who impossibly can do a crime, someone who wouldn’t and won’t break her heart—someone as perfect as an angel.

at least, that’s what she thought before certain things happened between you and her.

here she is—looking at you like someone she utterly despises, despite the fact that she used to swear to the archons that she’ll cherish you and protect you forever. you got bitter from time to time, and she got cold and hurt as a result. well, things changed, right? and she still couldn’t help to miss your subtle smile that always made her forget about the weights around her shoulders.

ARLECCHINO, yelan, RAIDEN EI, shenhe, candice, DEHYA, KUKI SHINOBU.

you know this song is about you, who else could it be?

she wrote a poem about you, about how perfect you are. she sang for you, about how she couldn’t get enough of your love. she takes loads of photos of you, admiring how gorgeous you look from every angle. she would do anything for you. you are the love of her life after all.

but you left her alone. you left her side. words couldn’t express how much this hurt her internally. she couldn’t stop re-reading the poem she wrote about you, she couldn’t stop humming your favorite songs, she couldn’t stop looking at your angelic photos. she couldn’t let you go.

XINGYAN, CHARLOTTE, ayaka, nilou, yun jin, BARBARA.

you were the first to make me feel like i was me.

she never felt any feelings like this when she’s with you. it feels… weird. in a good way. how her eyes softened when she saw you, how her face would heat up, how her heart rate increased, how the mingling and odd ticklish feelings filled her stomach and how the overwhelming feelings slowly destroyed her in the most heavenly way. she can be herself around you, and that’s the only thing she wished to feel once in her life.

but that was the first and last time she would ever have that feeling. she couldn’t feel the same way anymore. she couldn’t love another person in the same way that she loves you. and this was the first and the last time that she would be able to feel love and pain in such a way.

CLORINDE, sucrose, LYNETTE, ROSARIA, eula, mona, KOKOMI, KUJOU SARA, collei, noelle.

i made you my whole world.

she imagined a lovely future for your relationship. she imagined how she’ll wake up right next to you in your shared bed, how she’ll start a lazy morning with you—spending the rest of her life with you by her side.

but fate said otherwise. and it was being really, really cruel. archons above, why would they take you apart from other people? she just can’t imagine a life without you. it’s impossible—it feels like she is losing the sun of her life—the hope of her life. she just wanted you and only you. oh what is she supposed to do without you?

yanfei, LUMINE, faruzan, mona, LAYLA, fischl.

always in the back of my mind, you’ll be my girl.

the combination of all the parts—she did everything and anything for you.

she keeps the things that remind her of you, she wrote poems about how perfect you were for her. you were the first who made her feel like herself—she made you her whole world. you were her everything, her other half… she just couldn’t let you go. she cherishes you dearly, even if death could separate you from her—she would gladly die with you.

NAVIA, YAE MIKO, la signora, jean, BEIDOU, HU TAO.

likes, comments & reblogs are appreciated ! ♡

— © strkyoo.

#✦ — kyo’s writing !!#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin impact x you #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #angst #angst no comfort #angst no happy ending #x reader #x fem reader #genshin x fem reader #genshin women x fem reader #genshin angst #i couldnt fit all characters on the tags ugrhrhr #genshin wlw #wlw

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inlovewithkobenihigashiyama · 1 year

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HI HELLO HOLY HECK THE. NEW CHAINSAW MAN CHAPTER!!! (122)

I wrote a lot of stuff (long post) and there are major spoilers for the new chapters! The actual analysis/commentary/screaming abt the new chapter is under the cutoff.

Aside from the confirmation of Yoshida knowing more things that he probably shouldn’t, there’s a LOT of other stuff to go through. I am increasingly surprised by the biblical symbolism in csm! here's where my years of being forced to attend catholic school and bible study can really shine, lmao.

Let’s start with this:

Nostradamus was a real dude! (Wikipedia page for more info)

He lived in France around the 16th century, and he did write predictions of future events.

The prediction referenced in the new chapter IS one of his predictions, but it is not the full prediction!!!

The full prophecy is this:

“ The year one thousand nine ninety-nine seven month

From the sky shall come a great King of terror,

[Shall be] revived the great King of Angoulmois.

Before and after, Mars [shall] reign as chance will have it.

(Century X, No. 72) “

I don’t know about the fourth line, but the last line. “Mars shall reign”. Mars in Roman mythology is associated with war, literally being the god of war, and Mars generally has a connection to war in western culture.

And Asa Mitaka just so happens to meet/be the host of the War Devil.

It’s unclear exactly why Yoru wants to revive nuclear weapons devil. Likely because their revival would make Yoru more powerful, but Yoru seems very childish and immature, so I think it’s also possible that she and Nuclear Weapons were possibly friends? Since devils do seem to tolerate/desire relationships, as seen with Angel Devil and his village, and Quanxi’s fiend girlfriends. A lot of fiends seem to want and seek out relationships with others, platonic/familial/romantic, whatever (Power, Violence, Beam). There are also some that don’t, as in they just do not care (Prinzi) or are only interested in murder and crime (Also Power and Beam, but only before their character arcs). There are also those that want relationships but cannot have them, as seen with Makima and Pochita. Interesting! Could be a reach on my part, but there is definitely something odd about the timing of the prophecy and Yoru deciding to come to Earth and reveal herself to Asa.

Yoru does not seem like a very capable ruler, which is also somewhat weird if this prophecy is to be fulfilled. She will rule “before and after”, but while right now is presumably ‘before’, Yoru has basically been stuck to a depressed high school girl. Yoru does have power and we have seen her fight before, she seems to love fighting. But in this chapter she runs away.

Not very leader-like in my opinion! However. She also literally has a giant ruler sword at the moment.

I mean. Technically I guess you could say she is ruling?? The whole prophecy is really weird, and could have a lot of meaning in the context of chainsaw man. But I’m going to move on from that for now!

Yoshida Hirofumi, my beloved! Knowing things he shouldn’t and being in places he has no business being! He knew about Famine Devil, but it also seems that Fami didn’t really keep her identity a secret anyways. He knows she’s a powerful horseman devil, and he’s taking her out to eat at a cafe, once again paying for everything she orders.

How does he have so much money? How did he know she was the Famine Devil? It’s possible he is just a weird dude. Love that for him!

But how did he know about the prophecy? About the experiment with the prisoners and the Future Devil? He seems to be working with public safety now, but why tell Denji he has a private organization? In any case, the prophecy seems to have some merit, and Fami does know some things about it. He asked, and Fami told him. He did threaten her, but why would a powerful horseman devil be afraid of some highschooler with an octopus devil contract?

We can’t see her face, but we know she isn’t lying. We know because Asa is there at the apartments, and there is a powerful devil that just appeared there, so powerful that Yoru refused to fight it.

As for this devil, we know it is a primal fear, but not its name. Did the chainsaw devil eat her and her name is forgotten? Or is it just a purposeful omission? In any case, I think there are a few likely possibilities for the name this devil has.

This devil is presumably the first of the “The other seven” who will die this week. In the bible, there are a lot of apocalyptic sevens! We have:

The 7 bowls

The 7 seals

The 7 trumpets

I don’t think it’s the trumpets or bowls, but a case can be made for the seals. The breaking of one seal causes the appearance of the next. Interestingly, the first four seals represent the four horsemen. The first seal releases the horseman of conquest. (Sound familiar?)

Next is war, then famine, then death. This could be the death devil? She does have the power to make people kill themselves, so it would make sense and explain why Yoru was afraid of her. It could also be sacrifice or apocalypse, but personally I think Death makes the most sense.

The fifth and sixth seals cause various people to die and natural disasters. The seventh seal triggers silence, in preparation for the sounding of the 7 trumpets. In summary, the first three trumpets cause bad stuff to fall to earth and poison 1/3rd of all seawater and freshwater, as well as burning up 1/3rd of trees and all green grass. The fourth trumpet causes complete darkness, by getting rid of the sun, moon, and stars.

The next three trumpets are also known as the three woes.

The fifth trumpet causes a star to fall and opens a bottomless pit with a key it has been given, which releases these weird bug lion monsters instructed to torment (but not kill) all who do not follow God.

The sixth trumpet causes four angels to descend, leading a large battalion of soldiers whose lion-snake-horse steeds carry plagues that kill 1/3rd of humanity.

The seventh trumpet causes loud voices in the heavens to praise God.

I think the “King of Terror” the prophecy refers to will be Chainsaw Man, or maybe just Pochita/The Chainsaw Devil in his full form. I also think that his presence will somehow result in the devils being released from Hell, and Chainsaw Man becomes God or something. I do not know! It certainly seems ominous though!

This is all I can piece together for now, a lot of this stuff could be wrong, but the parallels are certainly interesting!

My thoughts in summary:

The prophecy mentioned is real and will happen (in chainsaw man)

Yoru/The War devil will gain a lot of power

Alternatively she will become some sort of leader, or maybe her role will have something to do with literal rulers…?

Yoshida is WEIRD!!!!!!!!! (nothing new there)

Fami gave him the information he wanted despite having (seemingly) no reason to do so other than being threatened by Yoshida

Fami didn’t even TRY to mess with Yoshida, but she was perfectly fine manipulating Asa and Yoru/The War Devil

The devil in the apartments is (probably) the Death Devil

Apocalypse time!

#chainsaw man #longpost #csm #csm spoilers #csm theory #chainsawman part 2 #yoshida hirofumi #asa mitaka #yoru chainsawman #csm part 2 #csm manga #csm chapter 122 #cube reads: csm

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commaclear · 4 months

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Holy crap???????

I very recently started reading (most?) of the stories you have wrote on Ao3 and I'm in love. Marry me?? I'll give you a plastic spider ring I got for 25 cents.

Anyways, I aspire to be an author and was mostly wanting to know, how do you continue??

I have so many little ideas that float in my mind and I don't know how to keep writing after getting through one paragraph.

-Turtle-shell anon.

Oh dear, unfortunately I'm sworn to only marry Danny Devito...

Okay, I've got a lot to say abt this apparently. I was originally just gonna write some quick tips and it somehow turned into a full essay lol

#5 is my top suggestion for anyone who's feeling uninspired or stuck. Stories are driven by their characters, so let them lead the way!

1. Write your ideas down as soon as you have them

I've got about five or six tiny notebooks stowed away in different places (purse, desk, bedside table, etc.), and as soon as I have any kind of story idea, I start writing it down as soon as I can, otherwise I tend to lose it or lose my enthusiasm abt it, and it's harder to keep steam later on. I do this with ideas for future stories, ideas for dialogue five chapters from now, random descriptions of scenes, just literally anything that pops into my head.

Like dream journaling makes your dreams more vivid, the more you write down your ideas, the more ideas you'll start having! It's like unclogging a dam.

Also, physical writing is always better for me than typing when I get stuck because kinetic movement engages the brain more, so I have a few full size journals too to write longer ideas in.

2. Start stories even if you know you won't finish them

Writing is like a muscle. The more you use it, the more stamina you build up. So starting on stories, even if you don't know where you're going or know you won't finish is still productive because you're exercising that muscle and making it stronger. And who knows? Maybe you'll come back years later and finish this story brilliantly!

3. Download WriteorDie2

Write or Die is a horrific torture device for writers, but it is genuinely helpful for me to power through pointless writer's block or procrastination stints. Even when I feel completely uninspired, suddenly I find I'm full of ideas when threatened with screeching violin spiders.

4. Get a hype man

A big reason writers lose steam on projects is you start listening too much to the internal critic, and you end up hating your own project when you've barely even started. The best way to combat this is to get a non-writer friend to read your stuff and tell you everything they like about it. Ask them to say specific things they liked, not just vague "Yeah, it's good!" because specific positive feedback is always more encouraging than generic platitudes.

5. Do free form character PoV word-dumps

Get out a journal. Set a seven-minute timer and start writing in the voice of your main character (or whatever character is most relevant), like they're making a diary entry or giving a soliloquy. Your pencil cannot stop moving until the timer ends. Just keep writing and ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes.

Have your character dump out all their thoughts and feelings and insecurities, have them rant and cry, have them giggle and blush and kick their feet, or maybe they're still masking their feelings and trying to be strong. Just write in their voice, and you'll be surprised by what they have to say.

6. Explain your story to a rubber ducky

If you're stuck in a plot and don't know where to go, explain your whole plot to a rubber ducky. Make sure you go into all the intricacies and details, explain all the side characters and background lore, tell that ducky where you want your story to go next and why you're stuck.

8 times out of 10, simply talking out loud through your plot will get you thinking differently, and you'll unstick yourself. And it doesn't have to be a rubber ducky; it can be literally anything with a face, but trust me, it is important that is has a face, and you need to be talking out loud, even if it's just a whisper.

#anons my beloved #comma gives advice #writing advice

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arandompeep · 11 months

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Alr y'all here are tpc thoughts I have

Note that nothing I say here is canon (as of now),,,,,,,,, I just like thinking about silly shapes

Some are headcanons, some are just thoughts abt things, some are just cool ideas I had

I'll sort everything I write here into some sections as well

anyways let's get this bread

headcanons yippeeeee

orientation and identity related hcs:

- Cube, Lythorus, and Circumsphere are all homoromantic

- Iris, Cintagon and marcle are bi

- Purpex is a lesbian

- Pentellow and Pyrare are panromantic

- Cube, Circumsphere, Iris, and Purpex are asexual

- Cube and Iris are both trans

other hcs

- heroes have some cat related traits (zoomies, knocking things over, randomly appearing throughout the house, etc)

- Cube is a tiny bit part flower (ty cintagonisupset for letting me steal that)

- not sure if this counts as a hc but cyan and cyanide are so siblings and they're adorable

- Iris and Cube both like to draw

- Cube has an older sister

- Pyrare is 100% the dad friend of the group,,,,,,, I don't make the rules I just enforce them

Ideas about things and stuff

oh boy where do I start

First off, Circumsphere x Cintagon is an adorable ship and I think it should be appreciated more

And second, I have so many thoughs about Lythorus x Cube that I'm just gonna make it a subsection further ahead.

Until then I would like to share my thoughts about what cube's family could look like,,,,,

in the hc section of this post I said that I hc that he has a sister. I also thought about what his mom could look like and here she is

Wabam,,,,, she is very cool and good at fighting. Don't get too attached though because she uh,,,, yeah she's dead. Anyways moving on

I think Iris and Cube's friendship is kinda underappreciated like,,,,,,, Iris was the first other caretaker that Cube met, and also their dynamic during episodes 4, 6, and 7 are just fun. Anyways the sillies are cool

ok it's time for me to talk about my favorite ship in this show lets go

Lythorus x Cube (and why I think it's cute as hell)

these two are so wholesome together you have no idea. The ship is childhood friends to lovers (which is already a wonderful trope) but also???? Their dynamic as a whole is just fun. Like they're just the buddies of all time, they've known eachother for ages, and they would absolutely spoil eachother in a relationship.

They're so goddamn cute AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

this isn't all my thoughts about the ship (I haven't even gone into the angst potential yet (I did a little bit on my cube analysis post though)) but I may share those thoughts one day.

must be real hard to guess who my favorite character is after this post right /s

Anyways that's everything I've got for now, might make a part 2 to this post if I have a lot more ideas in the future. later nerds /lh

#the pink corruption #long post #headcanons #tpc headcanons #peep rambles

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ughthatimagineblog · 9 months

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hello! anya here!

important info below!

this is going to be a small update! but in short: im aware now my blog has been out of date for a LONG while now! i came back from a hiatus after a year only to go through something very altering for me! i lost inspiration/interest to write for many of the characters ive loved so much! i am so sorry for all the unanswered asks…

this does not mean i wont write for any characters i have before, but i think ill only write for a select few previous characters, and only under select prompts. i simply wont force myself to write something if my heart is not in it. it will show, and everyone deserves to read good fanfic ;)

in regards to previous asks, i have cleared most out and i encourage new requests within the perimeters below ↓

╭────── · · ୨୧ · · ──────╮

moving forward im going to list some of the characters ill be inclined to write for, but yall are more than welcome to ask about characters that arent on this list ➸

(ACOTAR) any of the batboys, + nesta x reader

(Supernatural) dean or sam. (sorry theres not much range here lol)

(new girl) nick miller obv

(hunger games, future man, etc) josh hutcherson/peeta

NEW:

TLOU! joel :) i will write requests for joel. ive known abt tlou this whole time but its become my obsession thats inspired by writers block away. please request joel.

any pedro pascal requests are much appreciated (narcos, got, etc)

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW:

✦ . I will write smut, but any likes or reblogs from any underage blogs or blogs with no age will be blocked!

. ✦ . 　⁺ ALL of my fics will be with a feminine reader UNLESS REQUESTED OTHERWISE! ⇘ i myself identify as female so this is what i am most familar writing, but i am willing to write for male or nb readers!

✦ . headcanons, nsfw alphabet, ships, etc also open for request with these characters!

if yall have any questions or suggestions pls let me know!

sorry for the break! ill also be posting dates on each post so if you come across anything ive posted, youll know how old/new it is!

(7/27/23)

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masonsystem · 5 months

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too sick to draw or do anything else which means its the perfect time to watch mca and be a little autistic nitpicky bitch about it. planning to do a post like this per episode, this one's for episode One. well episode one part one bc nothing in my life is easy and i keep forgetting theres a fucking image limit for posts 🙄

- I HATE THIS FUCKING ANIME ok i needed to get that off my chest...... groaned so loudly at the first four seconds fucking... Church Bells and POLES?!?!? POLES?!?!!! i hate shaft's enviromental choices ok moving on

- how the fuck did i not realize that ayano's VA is rena ryuugu lmfao its all i can hear nowadays

- right theyre on a fucking clock... for some reason.... also honestly i dont like ayano's voice that much. like the voice is fine but i dont think it fits ayano's character

- also this clock sucks i wish it was like more More you know more gears more machinery like ep12 insanity ok wait. are shinaya 3d models here lmfao.. maybe?

- i like this line. saur mysterious

- hahaha.... the Kaien Panzermast

now that i think abt it i have no idea why its called kaien panzermast. like i what its referring to (the song siren thing thats telling kids to go tf home) but what the hell is a Kaien Panzermast?

- this scenery is near meaningless to kagepro literally just a whole bunch of nothing when i say i hate shaft's choices for this anime..... like what is any of this shit. also orange??!? orange of all colors..... god damn man

like yes ok its the evening BUT THIS IS KAGEROU PROJECT. GIVE ME MY RED AND BLUE!

-- this part is cool tho. a bit too heavy handed in the symbolism but i appreciate the gesture

- lol at this:

BECAUSE SHE DIDNT! not until 2017 lmfao. this makes me suspect that the revelations from mr2 were initially supposed to be in the anime. but in the end for whatever reason it couldnt fit itself there, so the only revelation we got was The First Tragedy Exists. and no elaboration.... now that i think of it, iirc me and many fans were pretty thrown off from this opening back when it first aired cuz this was like, the first time we've seen ayano act like this. wait. let me check my timeline

ok nvm lol. second time. first time shes ever like this is in the manga:

but anyways back in 2013/2014 before the LTM episode, there was like no context whatsoever for Why Is Ayano Like That. so that was a doozy

- damn can u imagine working on some songs writing a novel and getting these amazing voice actors to voice ur characters... ohhh i wouldnt know how to act

-HJEKHJSKDFHASJKDFH THIS LOOKS CHEAP AS HELL HELP ME

i mean thats um. one way to show a timeline getting thrown away... I Guess. ignoring the fact that Mary Has Long Hair (which she shouldnt), its a cool visual idea but the execution is um... hfjkssjk

- hehe

headphone actor mv on the left and mca countdown thingy on the right. holy shit they are near identical damn, i just thought they were similar but no, its practically identical. thats so cool T_T if only the rest of this anime was this cool.... whatever onwards i go

- shintaro's stupid futuristic high-rise apartment... i loathe thee

- the fuck is this

- first instance of shaft's trademark of putting random shit on the screen and im already annoyed its gonna be bad for me for the rest of this rewatch if i can even last that long. i know i will at least til ep 10 (11???) cuz i need to see baby mekatrio

- no aku benci lmfao shaft hates to animate so much they threw this story into the future so they could just conveniently project things onto shintaro's cyberwall hahaha..... i fucking hate this anime

- looks like shintaro was drawn by 4 different artists in these various shots that only span like 5 seconds

- damn in the anime its not even ene's fault that shintaro spilled the soda lmfao. thats all on him this time

- also shinene's voices are srsly perfect

- XX you say...... 🤨

- storyboarding sucks shit they went from flashback to not a flashback to flashback again my fucking god dude. the only reason i can make sense of any of it is cuz im rewinding every little thing

- literally no reason to add 'roomie' to this translation but it made me laugh so I GUESS

maybe i should hunt for the official crunchyroll subs. but im too lazy

- lmfao

text from Mekakucity Talkers 24, translated by x0401x. only difference from tht and the screenshot is that shintaro still has hair lol

- hm. i wish it made a bigger deal of shintaro leaving the house. yeah he threw a fit but i wish the actual stepping outside aspect was more dramatic yknow. like how Children Record emphasized it

- WHY IS THIS CITY SO EMPTY

- also curiously this episode is missing this sentence from shintaro abt someone rebuilding the city bit by bit which is in the novels and the manga, which is meant to foreshadow saeru's influence. but then again the first 17 manga chapters are taken nearly word-by-word from the novels so maybe thats all it is 🤷

- also it took like 6 minutes for shintaro to leave the house... theres other things being done ofc, establishing shinene's dynamics, quick exposition of how ene ended up with shintaro to begin with, and spilling soda onto the computer and leaving the house. but i feel like it wouldve been better if the anime stuck to what the novels + mr1 does, where ene blares a loud fucking alarm. that quickly establishes shinene's dynamic and easily leads to a So You Must Be Wondering How I Got Here type of thing, and then knock over the soda leave the house bam easy. instead the anime really took its time with like..... idk making shinaro look ikemen. yeahhh not the best choice, especially considered how rushed the last few episodes are gonna be. ok back to watching the anime

- also aku benci x2 like its only futuristic when its convenient which is soo fucking Lazy. theres literally no reason for this story to be set in the future. like all this city scenery is based off actual modern day Kashiwa its just... ugh. barely any care put into this anime at all

- this anime is cool sometimes

- reused this pencil texture from the start of the episode... wonder how many times ill be seeing that

- the fucking comedic timing of these terrorists lmfao. and right theyre clowns... for some reason....

- also dude ill still never understand why only their thumbs are the only parts ziplocked like what. also isnt that harder to animate... THIS STUPID ANIME

- this is a completely fair reaction to having kano shuuya speak to you for the first time

- no the fuck he isnt he hasnt thought of shit my god.

that comic person on here was not lying shaft really fucked up the order of events here bigtime. kano only speaks to shintaro after shintaro's done brooding.... also seto doing fuckall lol. ik he'll say smth in like 2 seconds but i do find it funny that we've seen him for like the past minute and he hasnt said shit

- ok but its cool that kano's hand just doesnt obey the ziplock.... very clever of the artists to just make him put his hands behind his head and other gestures to indicate that theres something up with him

- why are his eyes red.

#kgprambling

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oetscop · 7 months

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anyway uhhhh im struggling to focus bc my neck hurts like fuck so im gonna talk abt max and dizzy. and like elaborate on the whole "theyre the same person" thing

so max is my truesona right? his name (maxamillion) actually has a personal meaning to me. my whole life ive fought with identity and ive always had this sort of scattered sense of self. a lot of that comes from childhood neglect and housing instability growing up. every time i move or something bad happens i feel like i get splintered off into another jagged piece of myself, and as life goes on the older pieces get eroded away until i cant even remember who that person was.

i dont want it to sound like DID or something, because its not. its very different. these "other people" never exist at the same time as one another or anything like that. sometimes i can kinda call back how i was at those times in a nostalgic imitation sort of way, but like. its still me? i guess? i dont know.

maxxy is kinda based off the sort of shameless open bleeding wound of a person i was at one time. i was loud and wasnt embarrassed by it. i was open with what i enjoyed. i was clingy but oblivious and sometimes unrealistic.

dizzy is sort of like the more "rational" side of myself. he thinks hes smarter than max because he's been hurt more. hes more familiar with rejection sensitive dysphoria and has been through the same sort of really bad relationship and amicable breakup i went through, as well as the fallout that caused my entire friend group to splinter. hes apprehensive and distant and refuses to trust anyone to an unreasonable degree, hence the quotations.

hes perpetually trying to knock max down a peg or snuff him out. he reminds him how annoying he is when hes loud, he constantly tells him that expressing any emotion about a situation is manipulative. a lot of his character comes from the song hope by roar (among others) and specifically the line "if your hearts upon your sleeve, amputate the arm." hes very motivated by revenge.

really he comes from a well intentioned place, but hes also aware that hes being harmful. he thinks its for the best.

and in his defense max isnt a good person either, not entirely. hes terrified of losing people, but instead of growing distant to avoid pain like dizzy, he becomes incredibly clingy. constantly disarming himself and asking what he would have to do to keep someone around. he has no sense of self and is willing to just drop everything for someone. even if they hurt him. hes also insecure and somehow also full of himself.

but like, they are also literally the same person. the same dog, i guess. but they can interact physically with each other. dizzy looks exactly like max, just with mirrored fur patterns and is more desaturated in color. his hair is also like....greasier. and matted. max has really soft hair but dizzy spends most of his time in bed or just at home so he doesnt take care of himself. sometimes max can convince him to let him brush it. they have a very codependent relationship with eachother. well, okay that makes it sound romantic. its more like a symbiosis sort of thing. parasitic perhaps. theyll kill eachother together but theyll die if theyre apart.

it actually started with like..giving max an A/B/NLM sorta thing (since i do that a lot actually! give ocs traits from a specific media i like a lot. one of my other sonas shrinks when hes upset like cassie from dragon tales) but it sorta just became what it is now. idk why?? i still sometimes draw max with a flower on his head tho lol. its hard not to involve that when hes my truesona and care and paul r like........the focal points of my entire identity and sense of self rn lol. but theyre also nothing like max so i scrapped that.

idk this makes liek no sense lololol. theres far more "versions" that i might flesh out in the future? but for now its just the two of em. hooty hoo

#tongue #max #dizzy

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lunaastoir · 3 years

Text

fluff/relationships w the mondstadt crew

characters included: diluc, kaeya, and jean

gn! reader as always <3

tw: fluff??? domesticity??? crack??? ideal relationships w people who will never be real??? also mentions of alcohol!

an: so i’m back w a sequel to my “fluff/relationships w the liyue crew” since you guys seemed to really like it <3 thank you my heart is literally melting 😩 this post was getting too long so i excluded some of the characters but expect a part. 2 (more like part 3 but part 2 to the mondstadt version)!

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diluc

man. this MAN.

that’s it, that’s the headcanon.

he would literally be the most doting lover in the softest ways

SUCH a soft romantic like you thought you knew love??? nah this man will show you what love is

will constantly leave you things around the winery to convey his silent thank you’s and appreciation for you putting up with him being busy for most of the day

it’s always the most thoughtful things ever too like-

you mentioned how nice it would be to have some fresh lemonade with the hotter weather outside but it was too late in the day to actually go to the market in search of fresh lemons

the next day you walked downstairs only to be greeted with a pitcher of cool lemonade with a side of lemon bars

there was a note attached to the handle of the pitcher <3

“i recall you mentioning how lemonade would be perfect for the warmer weather so i decided to make some for you this morning. i hope it’s still cool by the time you drink it. love, d”

pls sir your hand in marriage

he secretly loves it when you usher him to bed after waking up in the dead of night to see him working by candlelight on reports

soft hands on his cheeks gently whispering about how, it’s been far too long and come to bed, darling and there will be time for this in the morning

his protests are light given the dark purple hues under his crimson eyes but he’ll still make a little fuss

don’t let this man fool you tho he’s so so touched that you care enough to check up on him and drag him to bed!!

sometimes on the days he has a bit more free time, the two of you will quickly grab your dinners and race to the highest spot in the winery to watch the setting sun

these moments are always filled with laughter, something you’ve found you’re easily able to pull out of diluc, simply because it’s you

uncontrollable sobbing

he would let you paint his nails black like the angsty man he is

frankly he would let you do anything to him if it makes you happy <3

ok but wait diluc w bLACK NAILS?? AND RINGS??? i would die on the spot ⚰️

on the topic of makeup, this man is surprisingly really good w it

i like to think he learned after practicing on kaeya when they were younger bc kaeya was really into makeup

you found out after babysitting klee one day and trying failing to draw eyeliner on the sweet girl after her “big brother ‘bedo!”

you hastily grabbed some wipes, gently wiping off the messed up design before attempting to dive back in

diluc however, had some down time so he decided to check up on his favorite chaotic duo

only to be met with a pile of dirtied makeup wipes, your frustrated expression, and klee’s growing jitteriness

swiftly moving to your side, he quietly asked if you needed help

you glanced up quizzically before handing him the eyeliner, already looking around to find more makeup wipes when this inevitably goes wrong

to your utter surprise tho the eyeliner is perfect??? two perfect winged lines??? in less than a minute??? WHAT

you just stood there like 😦 before diluc got back up and handed you the eyeliner

you were short-circuiting, klee was ecstatic, diluc was worried about you

ok last thing abt diluc

crack! warning but the both of you like lowkey pranking kaeya

for diluc it’s revenge on his annoying brother; for you it’s good - natured sibling rivalry fun

every time the two of you see kaeya, one of you always swipes something of his

small things really, it could be a pen or a handkerchief

one time, diluc swiped kaeya’s spare eyepatch and from the looks of it, kaeya’s only spare black eyepatch bc he was frantically looking for it yk he’s desperate when he even asked diluc if he saw it

the two of you spent an hour nearly laughing your asses off

all in all, life w him is so sweet

kaeya

pretty boy? pretty boy.

while i can’t guarantee stability, life would never be boring w this man that’s for sure

piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides

he LOVES it, the feel of you on his back while he’s walking around mondstadt most likely carrying you to your commission

he finds it comforting especially since he can hear the rumble of your voice against him while you recount stories, or just babble on about everything under the sun

he is SO dramatic so obviously when y’all reach the site of the commission he has to kill all the monsters even tho the both of you agreed to split it up evenly

he makes quick work of his set before stealing some of yours much to your chagrin

you scold him but can you really be mad at him when he looks drop dead gorgeous freezing the hilichurls the answer is no, no you cannot be

oh my god ok wait-

he does this thing where he tries to spook you in public

so say you’re getting groceries at the mondstadt general store

you round the corner just minding your own business, looking around, taking in the sunshine

and suddenly you just hear someone drop in behind you but before you can register anything you hear a soft “boo” and hands circle your waist

you jump SIKE let’s be honest you shrieked

meanwhile kaeya’s just laughing his ass off

you can hear his rich peals of laughter while you attempt to regain your bearings

he does this so often you SHOULD be used to it but you really aren’t bc mans is SNEAKY-

he cards his fingers in your hair whenever you’re speaking

he doesn’t know why, it’s just a cute habit and he finds the feel of his fingers in your hair soothing

oH on the topic of comfort, kaeya really likes resting two fingers on the back of your neck???

ik he seems like the type to throw his arm around your shoulder which yes he totally is but during more serious conversations his hand automatically seeks out the warmth of your neck

your neck feels amazing especially during the warmer months due to his chilly fingers contrasting with your warm skin

he likes that he’s able to access such a vulnerable part of you and you would willingly let him

HE GETS YOU MATCHING OUTFITS

no i will NOT take criticism on this i just kNOW he’s that type of guy

it would be those stupid “i’m his” and “they’re mine” sweatshirts like BYE

it’s so cringy but for some reason it’s oddly adorable and you truly despise it but you can’t seem to say no whenever he asks

you pretend to ignore the look of pity diluc throws your way whenever he sees you like this

kaeya really loves accessories so i think he would be the type to give you a promise ring or something similar to show that he truly does care for you

he would brush it off, flirting a little like usual before handing you the ring

with the way his cheeks softly darken though, you know he’s being genuine

TICKLE FIGHTS ik i mentioned this for childe but shhhh

he has tickle fingers??? his hands just loOK like they’re itching to tickle someone so you’ll most likely be the unfortunate victim

he will not show you mercy. at all. he’ll tickle you until there are tears streaming from your eyes, your face is hot, and your voice is hoarse from laughing so damn hard

it gives him such a rush of serotonin its SO CUTE

i feel like this goes without saying but he’s super into pda,,, anything and everything is on the table

hand holding? duh. ass grabs? ofc. carrying you bridal style around mondstadt? why not

ik he’s typically very playful but once the relationship reaches a certain stage, he’ll slowly start to let down the walls that surround his facade

very very slowly show you the more realistic parts of him

the real, damaged pieces of his soul

he’ll be carefully monitoring your reaction though, any sign of fear or disgust will have him recoiling within himself again and you most likely will never see his true nature ever again

SO BE CAREFUL 👹

once you’ve seen the parts of him he’s offered to you, the hushed whispers of his past, and the uncertain lines of his future, he will take off his eyepatch

pretends like he’s not super nervous but he’s SWEATING-

the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen though hands down

you can understand why he covers it up but you would like it if he felt comfortable enough to take off the eyepatch occasionally when he’s with you

also!!! sleeps with his eyepatch side facing you (in the event he wears it to bed)

if this happens you KNOW he trusts you bc it’s his blindside <3

anyways life w kaeya will never be boring but he is a very complicated man

stay with him though, i promise it’ll be worth it

jean

the key to jean’s heart is coffee and food

GET HER COFFEE AND FOOD

i am begging you she deserves it 😭

the poor woman works so hard bc the knights are so mf understaffed, this is literally the best way you can ever show her your love and appreciation when she has work

she will MELT if you have a hot shower and dinner waiting for her when she inevitably returns later than she promised

will completely refuse at first with, “you did not have to do this, it’s too much” but shush her as you shOULD bc she deserves the entire world

she’s the definition of “you do something for me, i’ll return the favor ten times grander”

you leave a flower on her desk bc it reminded you of her??? you’ll wake up to find a whole bouquet of the prettiest windwheel asters you’ve ever seen the next morning along with a thank you note

she’s so sweet BYE

she gets flustered extremely easily so you obviously use this as an opportunity to tease her

when you’re in public rest your hand on her waist and inch it higher until your hand is underneath her shirt and in contact with her warm skin

she’ll actually short-circuit its quite adorable

sometimes y’all will be cuddling and you’ll hear whispers of her insecurities

“am i a good grand master? will i ever be as valiant as vanessa?”

reassure her!!! tell her that she doesn’t need to be like vanessa, she’s already amazing as jean

if you haven’t seen her in awhile, track her down and schedule a lunch date

she never misses appointments and if it’s for you, she’ll gladly make time to see you even if she has to stay up even later than usual

OH-

GIVE HER MASSAGES

she has so much tension and the sorest muscles from hunching over papers and running around on errands

if you sneak into her office and quietly stand behind her before gently pushing down on the sore tendons of her neck, she’ll genuinely fall over on her desk

so make sure you steady her 😀

after you feel how tight her muscles are though, you drag her to barbara bc she needs a healer asap 😭

while most of your time is spent in her office - you helping out in the ways you can while jean is overseeing knight duties - you still have your fair share of life outside of the favonius headquarters

jean never likes to sit still so whenever you have free time, the both of you head off looking for monsters to clear

bouken da bouken???

adventuring w jean is seriously the funnest thing you could ever do

it’s just non-stop you accidentally getting into trouble and her having to come help you

even tho the both of you are dead tired after fighting, what? 20 hilichurl camps now??? the laughter and joy in your eyes shows how you both truly loved every minute of it

it’s both a stress reliever, good fun, and a work-out <3

you’re definitely prone to getting dragged to angel’s share w kaeya

kaeya and jean sometimes hang out after work at the tavern so inevitably you’re dragged along too

all three of you are drunk out of your minds which just makes everything a MILLION times funnier

kaeya slurring over his words makes the two of you start cackling endlessly while diluc just shakes his head making sure to not give you more wine despite your pleas

angel’s share ft. kaeya and bartender diluc are always the best times fr fr

life with her literally feels like y’all are married

so much domesticity it’s so NICE ALJDKSFH

your house is always so clean and the color scheme is impeccable bc jean has such a good eye

you have a chore schedule 😎 but it almost never works out bc jean ends up doing everything without you knowing-

you always confront her abt it and she’s like 😁 “i had some time so i did them! no worries tho” like i- time??? where bitc-

oH- she has amazing style so you can bet shopping w her is literally the best experience

she takes you to all of the hidden gems some places lisa recommended and helps you pick out things

will 100% get really blushy if you come out in something and ask her for her opinion tho she’s literally the cutest

basically jean is a sweet girl who deserves the entirety of teyvat that is all.

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3

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theepisceswriter · 3 years

Note

Jjk dudes promising just the tip but breaking it like 2 seconds later please!

Bestie I know you wanted multiple JJK characters, and I’ll probably still give it you, but I had something similar to this in my notes with Toji, so I decided to make a little ficlet with him instead surrounding this idea....kinda.

Synopsis: Your toxic baby daddy Toji hits you up after not being heard from for months with that smirk on his face that you just can’t resist.

TW: Dub con might apply here but I did my best to make reader aware that Toji was 99.99% lying abt just the tip and knew abt his intentions from the start, but I guess you can interpret it how you want, fembodied!reader, Toji is a trigger warning on his own, manipulation, implied that you have a child together, pregnancy mention briefly, breeding kink, toxic relationship, 18+, MINORS DNI

Word Count: 1.7k

Your heart dropped to your stomach when you flipped your phone over to see ‘TOJI WOJI 🥺🧸🥰....is FaceTiming you.’ Whatever he was calling for couldn’t have been important or even worth your time listening to at all. It was edging on 12 am in the morning, the ungodly hours of the night where sin ran rampant and thoughts became loud as the world around you silenced, a concoction of emotions that meant nothing good. Especially when the last time you received a phone call from him this late it resulted in a booty call that led to you pregnant with a child that Toji barely came to see. Still, you found your thumb lingering over the green answer button and faintly tapping on it, hoping that it wouldn’t go through, but instead, you were met with the sight of Toji. The raven locks on his hair poking out like always, the same old scar over his lip, and the same basic black tee decorating his body. He looked exactly the same as you had last seen him except the outside lights of the world illuminated his face as he appeared to be in what you assumed was the driver’s seat of his car. You felt your heart clench in your chest, memories of your relationship before he up and dipped on you clouding your mind to the point where you were damn near in tears wondering why it had to end so abruptly; why he left you the way he did. But those tears were soon pushed back by with an anger that had you ready to hang up in his face. You were so conflicted when it came to him, always had been.

“What do you want Toji?”

“You. I miss you, y/n. I’ve been thinking a lot about you and our family.” God, here he went with this bullshit again. Just when you thought the cycle was over he always popped up again, little white lies about missing you and his child so he could find solace in your bed for a week or two before dipping like he always did. Apparently, he wanted to come in and talk things out, just talk and try to redeem your relationship. You knew he was just telling you everything you wanted to hear with an ulterior motive behind his words, but you couldn’t resist that grin on his lips and the compliments of how nice you looked even in your nightclothes.

He was too good at this because the next thing you knew he was sitting on the couch in your living room with his legs manspreading out and trying to inch his way closer to where you sat on the opposite end. Your arms crossed and staring daggers into him while all he did was look at you as fondly as he could, as if he were genuinely envisioning a future with you and the child he left you within this moment.

“What the fuck do you really want Toji?” Your voice had a bite to it that left him smirking at your attitude and digging deeper into his mind to pull out lines he knew you wanted to hear, lines he knew would get him that satisfactory ending of you giving into his sweet talk and bold advances as he scooted a couple of inches closer to you. So close that his hand was able to rest on the part of your left thigh that the shorts you were wearing left exposed, gently kneading the area with his palm.

“You know you look good right?” You scoffed and rolled your eyes ready to push his hand off of you but his other hand blocked you from doing so, bringing both of your arms over your head and adjusting the two of you so that you were now smushed between him and the cushioning of the couch. As mad as you wanted to be at him you just couldn’t. He had indestructible shackles placed over your heart that tugged with each time he forced himself back into your life just like how they were now.

Flashbacks of the night you got pregnant suddenly came flashing before your eyes. The vivid imagery of the way he had your legs folded to the point where your ankles were by your ears as he pounded into you ruthlessly from above, hand around your neck tightening your airways and making tears form in your eyes. Blissed dazed out in a space that was too similar to subspace, too out of it to even respond to the “I’m going to fuck a baby into you and how ever many I want after that. Use you like the slut you are and breed you so good.” That had left his lips at that moment.

Which is exactly what he did and here he was again, the two of you in the very same spot shimmied out of your clothes, and him ready to fuck a baby into you again once more.

“I just want you.” When he says it like that, voice soft and laced with what you hope to be some form of honesty, it’s easy to pretend like this is okay in a relationship—if that’s what you could even call this. That if you squinted your eyes hard enough and looked past Toji’s flaws that all this pain and suffering he put you through in the end would be worth it. Your feelings changing for him with each entrance and exit he made in your life. Always wondering what the two of you could’ve been if he was a better man. You had to be soulmates, there was no other explanation for why you kept coming back to each other. At least not any logical one that you could think of.

All the logical thinking left your mind the moment he pressed his lips to yours, those oh so soft lips that you missed and craved badly on nights when other men’s lips couldn’t contort to yours the way that he did.

This is exactly what he wanted—his gentle caresses and touch to distract you from the real reason why he was here. Which was only to use your body how he wanted before he went on with his life, not thinking about you again until he got horny once more. And it was the touch of his cold hands against your skin, working its way up to grope at your enlarged breast, that brought you back to this realization. Lips moving off of his immediately and backing up against the arm of the couch. Your lips opened in protest, only to be cut off by him speaking up first.

“You don’t understand how much I’ve missed your touch—your body. Do you know how much gorgeous you’ve become with a post-pregnancy body? Just looking at you is driving me crazy.” He continues on with his compliments. Each one hitting you straight into your heart and going up to your head to shush those thoughts that scream at you to not fall for his trap, but instead, you fell right into it. Allowing his to resume his position on top of you.

“We don’t even have to do much. Just the tip, I promise. I just miss the feeling of you around me so much.” It’s the first time this whole night that you were able to recognize one of his lies as just that, a bold-faced lie. You knew how he got when he was in the mood, how dark and clouded his mind got with lust to the point where he was a whole different Toji. But you let him believe that you believed that, a small okay leaving your lips along with a nod as you accepted his lips on yours once more; his tongue slipping past your lips to find yours, gently sucking on it and letting out a light moan at the familiarity of it. He didn’t even have to use his hands to guide his cock to your entrance because he was just that big, breaking away from the kiss to look at where the two of you connected and using his hips to guide his erect tip inside of the warmth of your cunt. For a minute, maybe even less, he kept his “promise” of inserting only his tip, but the feeling of your walls gripping on only the tip of his cock was enough for him to go crazy. Something on the verge of a whimper and a moan leaving his lips. He needed more of you and he was going to have more of you. Disregarding his promise like you predicted, he ruthlessly bucked his hips up against yours, his whole length entering you with ease from the build-up of your arousal that had taken the physical form of wetness.

“Pussy so wet just for me that you swallowed me whole.” He tried to pin it on you and if you weren’t stuffed to the brim with him right now maybe you would’ve rolled your eyes and told him how dumb he sounded, but you went along with it. He didn’t even give you time to adjust to him because even after months without touching each other he knew the pussy that he trained with constant fucking every week would remember his shape and form, adjusting your legs so they were folded up against your stomach and immediately getting to work.

“I might have to put another baby in you if this is what post-pregnancy pussy feels like. You feel so good and right around my cock, baby.”

Each thrust was like heaven on earth, his cock curved in just the right spots to his every sensitive area inside of you that left your toes curling and a faint white creamy line begin to form at the base of his cock. It had been so long since you’ve had a nice good fucking. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so full, so good to the point where tears formed around the edges of your eyes. No one, not even the toys you had spent $100’s on tucked away in your closet, came close to the affect that he had on your body.

He always knew just what to do and just what to say to have you crumbling underneath him. One of your favorite but also most disliked quality that he possessed.

#I know you’re probably wondering where the child is at and I’m going to assume that it’s at someone else’s house rn #I didn’t feel that was too important to mention in the story lmao #Asks.#Spicy.#jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujustu kaisen smut #jujustu kaisen x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro

427 notes · View notes

ahjustroza · 3 years

Note

I saw a hc post abt how Last Legacy love interests react to MC actually going back to Earth,so can I ask some hcs abt this one? I'm curious of what you come up with!!

I actually made the same request to @lucigucci !!

For this ask, I had to play the entire game once again because I couldn't come up with anything. Hope you'll like it!

MC Going Back to Earth Headcanon

Warning: Sad feelings and pain...

Anisa

Before giving in to her emotions she will make sure to not miss anything important for your return to Earth

She'll check with important magical necessaries for the portal

Check if you have everything you would possibly need

If you ate well

Will check twice everything she prepared for you to take with you to remember her

She will also give you the Orlando postcard

It is important to her but also you two shared many memories together talking about Earth looking at the postcard

She knows when you visit Orlando you will remember her

After she is done with everything

The realization of you actually leaving her will hit her HARD

She knew you for only months but fell for you in a way with no return

You became her breath

The meaning, the cause she wanted to live further

The center of her life

Her priority

Her peace

Her shelter, and safe place

If only she could stay in your arms for a little longer...

If only she could find a way to see you again

The smell your scent while she buried her nose to your neck

To your hair...

She misses you always

Even for a couple of minutes without you within her eyesight makes her feel troubled

She misses you to death before even you leave her...

She will use all her strength to not cry in front of you

But the moment you hugged her and kissed her the last time she broke

She never struggled like this

Never felt hurt like this

The devs mentioned that each character will have multiple endings, so I headcanon two different happy endings in this situation

One is being Anisa letting you go while she stays in Astraea

She knows that she might not be able to fit in

You are people of two different worlds

Quite literally

And it shows

Anisa however will never love again after you

She will refuse every potential partner both in her romantic life or in her bed

She will confess her feelings for you and give you her hair ribbon as well as the most painfully mesmerizing kiss...

The other ending being Anisa leaving Astraea with you.

She is half-human and can tell people that her marks on her face are tattoos on Earth

She will see this as an opportunity to start a new life

Without the guilt of who her parents are and what they have done

Without the danger of magical monsters or assassins tracking her all around

She is smart, a quick learner, and curious about Earth

With your support, she can get used to life on Earth and get a job

I am thirsty for Anisa as a workout or martial art trainer

But I can also see her going to college and finish it quicker than expected to work in a school

Counselor Anisa

You two will travel the world together

No matter the lifestyle you live Anisa is happy

She doesn't need a lot of money

All she needs is you

Also another surprise, she doesn't miss Astraea one bit

You are what she calls home now.

Sage

I am a Sage hoe myself but I can't see him leave Astraea with you

He can't fit in to Earth

He has to be free and living on Earth means he has to follow so many rules that he struggles to understand

Also Sage will absolutely refuse to leave Tulsi behind

There are only two people he actually cares about in this world

You and Tulsi

You two are his family and home

He is a family guy

And oh my god does he want to make his family larger secretly

Sage is a character that struggles with emotional confessions

He is also a good liar

So even tho he wants a future with you

If you want children, raise your children together (adopted/surrogacy/biological/a found family...)

Finally settling down and actually live in a home

Sage will experience the feeling of home with you the first time

He never felt safer and not worried about being vulnerable to someone

Having family dinners, family meetings with auntie Tulsi...

Celebrating anniversaries

Getting yourselves in trouble and moving to a different town

Even though he would fight the gods themselves to have this future with you, he will not tell you to stay

He will not say anything at all

He'll watch you and make sure to prepare everything for your return

And to make sure of your security during the process

You will look into his eyes each passing hour, hoping him to say something

Anything

But he will not

He'll only give you his signature soft half-smile with tired eyes

He will drink the entire day before your depart

Spend the whole night with you

Watch you sleep

Memorize your face

Your body

Will listen to your breathing

He will take everything he can get to never forget you

Also, cry too

Silently

Without you noticing

Tears will fall down to the pillow one by one

He wants to scream and tell you to stay but he can't force you to do anything you don't want

Any word out of his mouth might make you change your mind and do the opposite of what you want to do

You have a family too and you have to see them

A life you have to return to...

So if you don't say that you want to stay he will stay silent forever

If you choose to leave, do give him something to remind him of you

A necklace? Your laser pointer? Your foam sword?

He will carry whatever you give him with him

Always

Until the day he dies

Let's say you gave him a necklace, anyone who knew you will feel the pain in Sage when they see him still wearing the necklace after all those years...

He will never love again. It was a one-time thing.

He will not open up to anyone

He will not let anyone see the real Sage the way you did

He might have bed partners but it is not emotional

He is in pain and will either drink or throw himself somewhere to spend the night without thinking anything

But that can only happen if he is too drunk to remember what happened the night before

If you choose to stay, he will feel relieved

Guilty too but mostly relieved

He will build the future he desires with you

But will also look for ways to make you visit Earth and come back

Felix

I don't think Felix can fit in the Earth either

He grew up as the Arcmage's son and spent all his life studying magic

He can't live in a world where magic doesn't exist

He can't live a lifestyle where he will have to learn everything anew

I just think he is too sensitive for our world.

But unlike Sage and Anisa, Felix will ask you to stay

He'll ask you to stay and live a crazy but full of love life with him

He'll promise to take care of you since he is filthy rich

Then admit his fears of losing another lover

If you decide to leave he will feel betrayed and abandoned at first

He'll cry, then disappear for a while, then appear and tell you that you gave him a lot of hope

And disappear once again

He'll get drunk and then cry loudly too...

After Rime, you taught him how to love again

You made him feel safe and supported

Accepted for who he is...

You taught him how to properly love someone

No toxicity

No lies

No rivalry

He only wants to sleep in a bed in your arms around him not wake up for years

The idea of you leaving him hurts like someone stabs a dagger into his heart

He'll start to believe that this is his cruel destiny

To be the one stays while the other leave

He wants to follow you but he knows he can't live with you on Earth

He couldn't even fit in his own house yet...

Once he cooled down he'll admit how important your life back at home to you

And how it is his fault to steal that life away from you by bringing you to Astraea

He will open the portal for you himself

He is not trusting anyone else for this work

Before you leave he will tell you that he loves you and promise to never forget you

Here comes the pain

But he might fall in love again after you

You will always have a different place in his heart and in his memories though!

Felix did try to bring someone he fell for back from death then fall in love with someone else

I just think he will be more flexible with what life brings in front of him

And get even more depressed with time...

If you accept his offer and choose to stay his eyes will see nothing but you from that day and forward

You are officially his spouse now, no ceremony necessary

You will go on the vacation you both need and deserve then get a house to live together

You two will be the scary power couple

People will talk about you two as "the small necromancer and his spouse- yes the spouse. They are the one that fought the Lord of Shadows and the undead Rime. I also heard they got a relic the moment they stepped on Astraea- I KNOW it is crazy..."

Felix will share everything he owns with you, even his thoughts

He is so open to you that he knows you understand him the best

#fictif felix #fictif anisa #fictif sage #fictif last legacy #fictif games #sage last legacy #sage lesath #sage headcanons #felix escellun #last legacy felix #anisa anka #anisa last legacy #anisa headcanons #felix headcanons #last legacy headcanons #some writing

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lovesupernova25 · 3 years

Text

ALL RP! TALKING ABOUT THE CHARACTERS, NOT THE CCs!!

I am not ok after Tommy’s latest stream so naturally the first thing to do is make a list of all the worst (or best, depending on your perspective) parts :]

(also spoilers obv for the latest stream and tw for trauma/panicking)

-this is just exile 🙂but worse 🙂 so much worse😊in so many ways 🙂

-confirmed that Tommy still can’t sleep/has nightmares cause of dream (add that to the confirmed nightmares abt wilbur...)

-confirmed blackstone makes Tommy freak out because it brings back a LOT of traumatic memories

-Tommy gets panicky in plains biomes

-STANDING UP! TO HIS ABUSER! GETTING (well...trying to get...) CLOSURE! RECOGNIZING THAT HIS TRAUMA EXISTS!

-really glad they didn’t just decide that trauma n stuff would go away cause dream was gone :]

-‘dream, you ruined my past but I will not let you ruin my future’

-AAAAAAAA! I’m so proud of him!

- “I always wanna make sure I like who I am. And when I’m around dream... I don’t think i like myself. I dont like who I am around him.”

- there were so many freaking powerful lines in this stream, I’m prolly gonna miss a lot but all around incredible acting

- the way tommy was so clearly nervous and panicky throughout the whole prison thing but he was forcing himself to do it, and then when he realized he was trapped just having a breakdown, like full on panic oh my gosh acting skills

-talkibg to Sam 🥺 about how he’d been a good friend 🥺 opening up to him and being serious to let Sam know he appreciated everything

-he turned off the music 😳 fight or flight response to that

- checking to see sams name tag do that he knew he was safe and then the terror when sams name disappeared

- even as he was terrified he was still standing up to dream and not listening to him

-GOOD FOR TOMMY IM PROUD

-(how long will that last-)

- WHO DID THE TNT

RANBOO? PLS NO BUT PROBABLY

- the way dreams demeanor so completely changed after the tnt because now he didn’t need to convince Tommy to stay or keep up his act. he was in control again.

- dream doesn’t want to escape, he wants Tommy.

Maybe escape is next on the list, but now that he has his toy back, trapped with nothing to do but talk to him... dream is gonna be lot happier. He has that bit of power that drives him

-let’s be honest, we didnt really think dream was just gonna waste away forever, did we? Dream always has a backup plan- and even when he doesnt (he used his safety net in the disc finale- bringing people back) he knows which strings to pull so that he’s in power again.

-uhhhhhh yeah none of us have forgotten about that techno favor right? That’s GOTTA come into play soon

- peopke keep talking about the legend of Pandora’s box 😀 and how evils and hope was trapped in there 😄 and the evil escaped 🙂 but hope was trapped forever 🤡

- ok I know it’s controversial but Tommy calling for Phil when he was begging to be let out,,, it could have been in or out of character but wouldn’t it,, wouldn’t it be angsty if it WAS c!tommy calling for someone he associates with safety while in a panicked state,,,

- THE LAVA

PLEASE

-no actually I am very worried please Sam hurry and green boy you stay FAR AWAY

-but! Tommy kept saying things like ‘close the book’ and ‘this is the last chapter’ etc, in contrast to Dream saying ‘our story isn’t finished/our story is never over’

tommys tryna move on, realizing he doesn’t need dream, while dream lives only to be the villain to Tommy’s hero.

THE CHARACTERS ARE SO GREAT YALL

- even after short amounts of time with dream Tommy feels confused and conflicted about dream (similar to just after exile) and says he feels conditioned to be dreams friend (which.. he was, so... 😀)

considering this’ll be up to a week alone with dream...

- add that to the fact that we already know that dream using his ‘nice voice’ and pretending to be Tommy’s friend is triggering for him..

This is going to be very interesting

(continue in notes!)

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astralwaifu · 2 years

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ah,,hello!! im a little self-conscious since i not on anon but i'm very curious about who in jjk i would be matched with :] idm either gender since i am bi heehee. well, it's time to introduce myself!! hm for starters, i an august virgo and last i checked i mbti is infj. i was born in the year of the snake, similar to a few of the characters~

dream? well currently i am studying architecture, i love looking at an empty space and thinking about what it can become. i also love doing other things like writing, baking, watching film festival releases or listening to k-rnb/k-rock. actually.. i do have a writing blog here.. so if you want to ask for a fic go ahead!! i'd be more then happy to come up with one for yall!! i prefer a slow-paced life over one full of excitement, a cottagecore life appeals to me. but on the other hand, the idea of being alone in a city where no one knows me is also equally calming for some reason

i have been told i am a little intimidating and hard to understand, that i am a great listener but a bad communicator too? it always seems like i know more about others then i let others know about me... though i am trying to change that!!

hii! thank you for joining and also i really want to send a fic req but i’m kind of insecure abt it… i’ll do it soon tho :)

I match you up with….

Maki Zenin!

Hc:

- Maki is willing to follow you to the end of the world. No matter what the future holds, she wants to be by your side, to always protect you and make you smile.

- She doesn’t bother about the future, whatever you decide would be best she follows. Besides her goal to prove herself and become head of the Zenin clan, the most important thing is your happiness and safety.

- Maki isn’t afraid to show her love to you, even if she is a little hesitant to do it in public. However, she will let anyone know that you are hers and hers only. She is also down for whatever lifestyle you choose - as long as you are content with her presence and affection it’s all good.

- At first she didn’t understand why anyone would find you intimidating (with that beautiful face and personality why would she avoid you or, worse, be unnervedby you?). She still doesn’t understand completely. You may have your ups and downs with communication, but so she does - and surprisingly it works for you since she is blunt, straightforward and you are understanding and willing to hear her.

- She is mesmerised by the way you can build anything from your imagination, how you can turn an empty space into something out of this world. (She decided that once you two are financially stable and independent, she’ll have you make the most beautiful home ever) Could watch you draw for hours and even invites you to sketch while she trains.

- A lot of movie nights in. You watch at least two or three movies, until she finds you napping untroubled on her shoulder. (Although you usually doze off midway through the second movie, she doesn’t move an inch, so she doesn’t wake you up)

- Loves you more than herself and would do literally anything for you. (Also loves to show you off to her twin, Mai, but that’s a whole different story. When the two meet, it’s imperative you hear her brag about you)

bonus song that reminds me of you two: I wanna be yours by Arctic Monkeys!

#jjk matchups #jjk x you #jjk headcanons #jjk #jujutsu kaisen matchups #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk maki #jujutsu kaisen maki #maki zenin #maki zenin headcanons #maki zenin x reader

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 9 (part 1)

“ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~

What an ep for my girl tohru! She completed her growth thanks to kyo’s rejection. really, It was so hard, cruel, understandable but above all so necessary for her to reach a logical realistic conclusion that “I can love/want things from the bottom of my heart, but at the end I can’t force or bound them to me, I won’t regret loving/wanting them, but I’ll move forward regardless, no more standing still”.

-The fear of being alone:

Aren’t we all? We’re scared to face the word after breaking bonds, changing, not getting what we want, having to start over. Such feelings run deeper into us all. Both tohru & akito were scared to face the word without the old comfortable bond that they got used to:

Tohru realized today, that she cant keep talking to a cold photo, can’t live according to her mom’s expectations, to fulfill her mom’s wishes, can’t narrate her daily life to her mom & fill her life with other ppl’s own issues to distract her self from facing her own loneliness & from looking deeper into what should she do with her life. As she fell in love with kyo, tohru started talking to him! forgetting to inform her mom abt her life’s details, thinking abt what will she do “after graduation?”. As kyo asked in se02, ep2. Graduating highschool is ur mom’s wish, What would u wanna do after?” Tohru didnt have a response of “an after”cuz her mom wasnt there to tell her! Tohru has to choose “the after” herself!!!! “The after” was being with kyo & starting life together! figuring what to do next together! She no longer alone! she found her most precious person!

Except: he cant be with her. Again tohru is scared. What to do now! she wanted a bond but is forced to leave it. Loving kyo was stage 1 to be free from her grief. Moving forward without kyo is stage 2 to learn not to repeat the painful journey again! She didnt let go of her mom & kyo easily. It was hard, scary but she must do it. You must respect their wishes & move on. As scared as she is, there will be sadness & happiness ahead.

Akito realized she cant keep an empty box, cant keep fulfilling her dad’s wishes to “be loved & special” cant bound the zodiacs to her for good. They may love her or not, it doesn't matter, if they wish to leave for whatever reason, she cant force them to stay.

Except now that the zodiacs are leaving, what does she have to live for? who will be with her? she isnt good with strangers? she never met anyone who wasnt forced to obey her & be grateful for her. Strangers cant be forced to love her! what will she do now? stretch you hand for a greeting. Tohru told her, make a friend, they might refuse you, but hey might accept u too, I’ll make it easy, Hi, I;m tohru, whats ur name?

The power of true love: ( reality vs fiction)

In fairy tales, the princess fix the prince. the prince save the princess. The prince kiss the princess, she wakes up & they be happy ever after. Except real life has no prince & princess, You cant always be saved, you cant always save others, pure intense true love cant always be the answer!

Yuki was first when tohru needed physical saving. he saved her twice! Yuki’s nickname in school ”the prince”. Yuki is always cool, thoughtful & kind. Yuki always knew what to say & do! he deserves tohru’s romantic love more than kyo, right? But “ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~ . Yuki didn't feel this way towards tohru, granted no one (excepts kakeru) knows the reason why he loves her fondly (she’s his mom figure). The official” prince isnt the one for her. Real life isn’t a fairy tale. Yuki has someone who sees he isn’t cool, perfect or a prince “ granted no one knows abt machi, yet! ) XD

In tohru monologue: she didnt think abt saving, that's not why she loves kyo. She stated normal, silly, mundane things! a shy smile, awkward kindness & the likes. Stuff ppl love abt each other in real life. You dont say, I love my husband cuz he saved me from a burning building in the 7th floor! lol. But fiction is so full of this. Princes saving princesses.

Tohru didnt fix kyo, too! as much as her love helped him greatly to find hope, the best writing choice is that tohru’s love also brought despair to kyo! To him, she’s the symbol of hope, peace & comfort! she’s also, the symbol of despair, torment & unease! EPIC! The kyo who’s stuck in the past cant be with her, the kyo who will move beyond trauma, abuse & broken soul will be with her. The duality is all on kyo’s shoulder: what will he choose? Can he choose in his state now?

In fairy tales the princess wakes up after the kiss. In real life, we don't. Tohru didn’t. Regardless if she fainted during or after the kiss. The kiss fixed nothing. Kyo’s despair in seeing near-dead tohru in a not-so-subtle mimic to his nightmare, has manifested itself into the sweetest kiss upon seeing her conscious & talking. Kyo isnt good with words, his actions are his words. When he’s scared, sad, in trauma: running away. when he’s fond of her, grateful for her existence: head knock, head pats, hand holding & a kiss. Still the kiss fixed nothing. Kyo is still traumatized more than ever now. Tohru still feels rejected “even if I’m not with you, plz live”.

Talking fixes everything. It didn’t here, kyo & tohru talked & showed their most vulnerable side to the other, but still didn’t meet half ways, regardless of all the love. That’s cuz they keep missing each other’s best timing. Kyo is stuck in the past while tohru has moved forward. even if in her mind she’s the one who stood & he moved. this shows they aren’t on the same wave yet. Before meeting each other again, kyo must learn from his mistake like tohru did. He must face his ultimate demon: his dad. The one who created the current broken kyo.

Rebelling against parents: ( sign of growth & freedom of choice):

Rebelling against parents is a sign of a desire to choose one’s path, decide one’s own future. Away to express an oppressed desire.

Yuki rebelled against his mom in se02. he told her I’m not going to the college you chose. I’ll chose my path. I’m not staying away from Ayame. My bro is good in my book. I chose who I want to be with. He told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.

Tohru rebelled against her mom today. told her I’m not wasting myself doing only what you I think you’ll approve off. You might bot forhet kyo, thats ur choice, But I DO. I love him even if you might not approve of him, Even if he rejected me, my feelings wont change, but I’ll move forward from the grief & pain. mother. She told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.

Kyo WILL rebelled against his disgusting dad. He MUST. It is his turn now. He’ll tell him I’m not wasting myself being locked in a cage. I have a future! I’m not a monster. I am LOVED! I might not 100% sure why I’m loved, but the truth cant be hidden. I have ppl who love me! cheer for me! I want to live! enough of death! mom & kyoko died, tohru nearly did, but I’m not gonna die! I’m not killing ME! I’‘ll do what MOM didnt do! I’ll do what YOU couldn't do! I’ll live! He’ll tell him what he needed, turned his back & moved forward. I cant wait! I’m in tears just thinking abt it! Kyo was punished enough! time for happiness!

Side Notes:

While I’m impressed with tohru’s growth, as they did her justice in this ep, this doesn’t erase that the buildup for tohru’s own journey & trauma was mediocre. There is a reason ppl commented ” omg tohru, you can love your mom AND kyo!. ” Grief is illogical, long process & it sucks that we weren’t allowed to experience tohru’s grief & her mom’s role in tohru’s abandonment issues. Huge lost opportunity that a good conclusion ep cant erase! but like tohru, I’m moving on ~

The path of growth for kyo will start by rejecting the demon: his dad. No. other. option. Hold abusers accountable for their crimes. Stop their madness. Tell them off.

We know kyo is baka! that’s his trade mark, the endearing baka! a lot of characters in the show think so! I love it, but I’m craving baka-yuki! XD! really, yuki is cool, level-headed & smart, but let him be baka too! this only shows up in tiny microscopic doses, but they’re my fave doses of yuki! it humanizes the “perfect prince”, the “gifted high status rat”! Thus him not seeing kyo running the other side, is my fave look on him! XD.

I appreciate that kyo & yuki put their differences aside when they’re with tohru. You cant tell yuki is hella pissed off with kyo, but he restrained himself. His gaze while full of anger is also full of sympathy as he heard/saw kyo’s panic upon the thought of loosing tohru. He understand they both only mean the best for each other, but also tried they both keep missing each other & not meeting half way! Also, yuki being the only one in the hospital is realistic & endearing. No need for them all to be there & yuki lives with her & is so close to her.

kyo not being the hospital is fantastic! thank you writer-San! why would kyo go to the hospital after thinking his nightmare came true? kyoko /his mom warned him, you’ll hurt another person.. he did.. he didn't cause her fall... but caused her sadness & hurt.

Momiji’s reprimanding gaze is my fave look on him! Also, the best response to what akito did. Akito isnt used to such judgemental gaze. Kureno grabbed her cheeks, gently told her you shouldn't do that, the old maid told her you are right, Dr. Hatori erased her mistakes from ppl heads & bodies, shigure being either cold or kissing her ass, coxing her to yet torment another zodiac in his grand scheme to break the curse as happened in the beach arc.

You bet hana & arisa will be there next ep! Arisa will meet kureno & akito for sure. To path the way for their romance as seen in the ED.

Shigure’s “remorse” is a whole can of worms. Playing with ppl’s hearts & feelings to gain someone’s affection is no laughing matter. Each time blood is shed, he contributed somehow. he didnt force anyone to hurt the other, but he played with matches & never got hurt.

Shigure must be glad akito stabbed kureno. Not cuz he’s sadistic or bad person. He isn’t, but cuz akito stabbing kureno is akito cutting her bond with him. Go shigure, your girl removed her lover with blood. Kureno is punished for sleeping with ur girl by blood! so, when is ur punishment for sleeping with ur lover’s mom? none? ok.

The animation is good. They didnt villinize akito by drawing extra manic features like se02. Kyo’s broken & tormented face once again epicly drawn. However, akito’s slaps on tohru’s face were comedic, unnecessary & such bad taste! Stop using violence for extra drama, furuba!

Also, tohru, I love you, I understand you are broken but charging at a person, who has a history of violence & physical abuse & holding a knife, is stupid. No other description. I’m glad she didnt accidentally kill you in her initial rage.

Everything akito’s redemption, kureno & shigure are part 2 in my review.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #sick paper #final season #part 1

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to-come-alive · 3 years

Text

Baht Oyunu 1x06

Oh how I missed writing dizi reviews! But I especially missed watching them. Ughh... why did it take so long for this ep to come?! I'm always expecting this series to disappoint me at any moment, but it always manages to surprise me for good. Right now, personally, this is the best summer dizi of this year and there's no discussion abt that. Let's move on to my thoughts abt it

Aahh... a fake-dating episode! I LOVE IT!! This is my favorite trope ever. I love all the things it brings with it: the awkward PDA scenes, the 'there's only one bed' trope, the total lack of personal space in general. Pls gimme more!! Their chemistry was so on point (as always) and they almost kissed a lot of times during the ep.

Ada is always so reasonable although being a little bit crazy. When I first began to watch this series I thought that Ada would be too hung up on this story told by her family and insist on the idea of being married to Trash. But no, she has already freed herself from this lies and is now focused on herself and her future. I'm glad Trash is not an option anymore for her.

Bora is a lot rational too. I like that. Generally, when a dizi character is rational this means they are like robots (Serkan bey??) who have only one characteristic: being a heartless person. But Bora is not like that. He got so hurt after seeing Trash in Ada's house. But instead of making a scene or smth, or treating Ada badly, he just went away bc he knows Ada doesn't need to explain nothing to him. She doesn't own any explanation to him. He respects her and he's aware of the limits in their relationship. But I loved that Ada wanted to explain herself bc she cares to what Bora thinks of her.

That scene in the park was so precious. I mean, I thought that I would have to watch an episode with Bora all jealous, unkind and mistreating Ada. But she came up with some story and they just came back to be what they were. Even better, they got to connect even more! I love that although adbor falls under the category of an enemies to lovers story, they don't try to make each other angry or pretend to hate each other. Ada is always trying to amuse him (and she succeds at it!). And I simply love that Bora is always ready to admit when Ada does or says smth right. You can really see them as a couple cuz they get along well with each other. I think we normalize a lot these couples which are opposites that are always fighting and we can't see them in a relationship in the future cuz that's their only dynamic: fighting.

Ever since the beginning of this dizi it's Ada who's always making some kinda plan to get smth. I loved that in this ep it was actually Bora who was plotting things and not Ada. And I couldn't imagine him doing these kinds of things before. This was an Ada thing: planing and scheming to get what she wants or needs. So we got to see how they work well together. That couple fight scene, they invading that scammer's room dressed as waiters/maids. They're perfect together!

OH MY GOD! I thought I would become deaf from hearing so much shit coming out from Trash's mouth. So HE's the smartest person ever?! And how he feels he has the right to come to Ada's house whenever he wants and to even be jealous of her?! He's just unbearable now. Ya know, sometimes I think I would be glad if Celal find out the truth abt their fake marriage bc then he would be deported and we would be free from him.

I really miss the Tuğçe from episode 4. She was cool. But I'm liking this dynamic of the four doing things together. Although I hate Trash, that's a fact, and Tuğçe is an enemy, she's not the enemy to be fought now. And it's good to see the leads working together with the villains for a common goal. For me, it's so refreshing. It makes the dizi more light and less dramatic.

It was sad that Elif almost didn't participate in this ep. But I liked the scenes of their family, they were really funny. And although Belma is still on board with this idea of Bora and Tuğçe together, she's getting more cool with the whole situation of the families living together. Hope she drops this idea soon and starts to root for Bora being with Ada.

I still don't like aunt Yasemin with Evren. I don't like him. Actually it's not that I don't like him, I'm indifferent to him. He's not inherently bad but he's a rude elitist person. And Yasemin is too good for him.

I don't like the Celal bey plot. I like Celal, he seems funny. My problem is that this is making Trash and Ada pretend to be a couple. And that was the worst part of the episode. I know it's important for the plot but every time Trash appears in scene it's just not good. It makes me want to jump for the next scene bc he's the worst.

About the secret plotline, Ada is finally giving signs that she's gonna tell the truth soon. I didn't think it would be now. Although we're probably at the half of the dizi, from my personal experience with them, generally it's around the tenth episode that the bigger narrative begins to really move on, that is, the secret is revealed. And Ada started to feel guilty for lying to him just now. I think the writers will explore this before finally telling the secret. But I might be wrong of course and maybe next ep he'll finally find the truth, who knows. Ratings are not that good and they might be planning to cancel it soon (hope I'm wrong). Also, I hope he knows the truth through Ada. Bc any other way would be the worst way of knowing. And maybe if she is the one to tell him, he might be able to forgive her more easily. But I must say that I'm not that anxious for her telling the truth. I'm enjoying what I'm having now.

I think that's it. The episodes only get better and better. Hope they keep up with the good work.

#baht oyunu #adbor #bo review

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loving-jack-kelly · 3 years

Note

yoooo i finished white collar last night after u were talking abt it and binging like the whole damn thing in a few weeks so tysm for the rec!! 🙏 very much garbage (affectionate) which is exactly what i needed 😅 what are ur thoughts on the ending tho? i didn’t get it— like i like that it was a bit of a “...“ ending but /spoilers neal ditching nyc and his friends, esp after the outcome of the cape verde arc, seemed like it didn’t end his character arc well? and ig i get faking ur death to avoid the pink panthers’ wrath, but why keep it from peter or mozzie? and only for a yr?? for the Drama?? 😅

caterpillar anon look away spoilers ahead lmao

I actually love the ending! I think it made a lot of sense with Neal's character because the entire Panthers storyline kept hammering in the fact that they wouldn’t just go after the mole, they’d go after everyone the mole cared about. I think that it’s been made really clear through the entire show starting with the Kate arc that Neall would go through hell and back for the people he cares about. Like he was willing to put himself back in jail for another four years just for the slight possibility of seeing Kate again, and that was all the way back in season one.

Through the entire show, you get to see Neal letting the people around him in and dropping his walls around them more and more. From the start of the show, it’s obvious how much faith Neal has in Mozzie, and by the sixth season, it’s clear they consider each other family. The Burkes, too, Neal has solidly and completely added to his life. He would do anything to keep them safe. All the way back in season three he was willing to give up the treasure and get himself sent back to prison to keep Elizabeth safe, and they’re even closer by the time Neal and Peter bring down the Panthers.

Neal doesn’t have anything to gain by faking his own death. It’s not like he’s sitting on a treasure like he used to be, and it’s not like he really benefits from escaping, because he had an ironclad release contract that he knows would have been honored. But he has a lot to lose if the Panthers realize it was him and not Keller who ultimately sold them out. Sure, there’s a good chance that might not happen, but if it does, and they send somebody after Mozzie or Peter or Elizabeth or the baby, he would never be able to forgive himself. To him, it’s a lose-lose situation. Stay in New York a free man and either lose the people he cares about or never be able to stop looking over his shoulder in case they’re after him or leave everyone behind knowing that they’re safe. And fundamentally, Neal isn’t a selfish person. He’d rather everyone be safe without him, even if it hurts to leave him behind, than stay and be happy with an ever-looming danger over all their heads.

Back in season one, Neal might have chosen to stay and scheme around whatever the Panthers might plan, because back in season one Neal didn’t care about them as much as he’s grown to, and back in season one Neal still felt invincible. But he isn’t, and by season six, he loves Mozzie and the Burkes and even to some extent the entire white-collar division and has seen how dangerous his enemies can be and he can look at them and look at himself and know that if a group as powerful as the Panthers is gunning for the people he loves, he won’t be able to outsmart them. It took the full force of the FBI, Neal, and Mozzie to bring them down in the first place, and that was when they were playing subtle. The Panthers have nothing to lose now that they’ve been caught, so why should they keep playing subtle? They won’t, and Neal knows that his strengths are in the con, not in evading a bloodthirsty and very angry gang of very smart, very influential men.

Neal’s entire character arc has been realizing that sometimes, there are situations you can’t just charm your way out of. He’s dug himself into so many holes that he wouldn't have ever gotten out of if it weren’t for Peter and Mozzie, and now it’s his turn to get them out of the hole he’s accidentally dug for them. If the Panthers figure out who Neal is and what he’s done, he’s almost definitely sentenced all his loved ones to death. On the other hand, if they think he got himself killed as a direct result of what he pulled, why do they care? They figure out Neal is the mole, hear that Neal got himself killed while trying to make a getaway with the money he stole from them, they don’t look further into it because karma did their job for them, and they never go after Peter or find Mozzie or get anywhere near Elizabeth and the baby, and so they’re all safe.

As for why he kept it a secret for a year, I think it was out of necessity. Mozzie has proved that he’ll follow Neal no matter what. They’ve fully earned each others’ loyalty, and they’re a package deal. So if Mozzie knew right away, he would have been in Paris in an instant, and anybody who knew them would have been able to guess why. Peter would have tried to talk Neal out of it, tried to convince him that there was no danger and everything would be fine, and I genuinely think that if Peter had tried it would have worked, and Neal knew that too. He didn’t want to leave New York, but he felt like he had to, and part of that was keeping Peter in the dark so Peter couldn’t even try to convince him otherwise. I mean, in season two he admits that he almost stayed when Peter asked before the plane blew up, and that was long before they were at the point in their relationship they’re at by the end of season six.

Neal left Mozzie the clues because he did want to see Mozzie again, he just needed it to be far enough in the future that people wouldn’t connect the dots between his “death” and Mozzie’s sudden move to Europe. I also believe that Neal didn’t leave the bottle or tell Mozzie to leave the bottle for Peter, I think Mozzie realized that Peter wouldn’t turn on Neal now and would let him have his new life in Paris, but also wanted Peter to know that Neal wasn’t dead, because it’s clearly still affecting him and El (flashback to Neal playing with the ball anyone? like if u cry every time). Peter finding the storage container and seeing Neal’s plan all neatly laid out for anybody who found it to see is a clear departure from a Neal who would have wanted it to genuinely stay a secret. Looking at the wall of pictures and the clear plans, it’s obvious that he wanted whoever found it to know exactly what he’d done, and he trusted that when Mozzie (and eventually Peter) did find it, he’d keep it a secret and also figure out why Neal had done it.

Which, again, wasn’t selfishness, it was the exact opposite. Neal’s last big con wasn’t for money, or reputation, or to solve a crime, it was to protect the people he cares about.

#white collar #neal caffrey #i LOVE the finale it makes me cry so hard #and i just. i love it #i get why somebody wouldn't but god. i love it #white collar spoilers #neal caffrey's character arc is just. *chef's kiss*#i love him so so much #also ur right this is a garbage show and i love it SO much #eva-chi

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