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davidcarner · 6 years

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Sarah vs The Unexpected Life, Ch 3, Lady Feelings

A/N: The first two chapters have been pretty Sarah centric. This chapter works best if its Chuck centric, at least for a little while. Apparently I’m funnier than I think according to some of you. More fluff, more Charah, more Chuck being a little scared to share his feelings and Sarah being so open it’s scary, and dag nab it, more fun. I present to you chapter 3, Lady Feelings

A/N 2: I need to straighten the record out on something that I left a little unclear. Hannah, Lou, Cole et al, might be in the story, but they will have no romantic relationships with Chuck or Sarah…EVAH in this. NEVA EVAH. On with the show.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Chuck, but I do own a black pair of Chucks

Chuck moved around his house, quickly, with purpose, but also full of song. He sang Good Morning, Good Day from She Loves Me to Clara, watching the close to one-year old smile at him. Last night had been a little rough with teething, but the bigger problem was that Sarah…his friend, with possibilities of more(?) was looking for Piranha. He needed to talk to her this morning. He wanted to talk to her this morning, but what would she say to him. He had the chance last night, at the fountain, to tell the truth, and he didn’t. She had told him every dirty secret about herself, and he didn’t. It wasn’t that he was trying to keep it a secret, it was just part of another life that he really didn’t admit existed anymore.

He had never stolen any real money, moving a penny from one account to another isn’t really stealing, but Casey, boy Casey would think it was. If they found out…they couldn’t, but somehow he had to tell Sarah. He loaded Clara in her carseat as he thought about his next move, and kind of went on autopilot as all parents do with little sleep as he drove to preschool. As he pulled in, he noticed Emma driving Molly this morning, not Sarah. Part of him was happy, part of him was not…not at all.

Chuck closed his eyes for a second. It was time for him to be serious. What did a beautiful, caring, smart, funny, former CIA agent with a heart of gold want with him? The answer was obvious, nothing. Absolutely nothing. He needed to tell Sarah the truth for the sake of Clara. She would find another way, because he had to keep Clara safe. But how does she keep Molly safe? That thought ate at his brain. A hand hit the window, and Chuck jumped, screamed, hit the horn, scaring Molly who was outside, made Clara cry, and all the other children around cry as well. All the parents were giving Chuck a dirty look. Molly had got over her fright, and was pointing and laughing at Chuck. Chuck wanted to be upset, but Molly refused to let him be with her laughter. He opened the car door, and made monster hands at her.

“If I didn’t have to get Clara, you would so get it,” he said in his best monster voice. Molly laughed at him.

“Molly,” Emma scolded. “You can’t scare him like that.”

“He was napping and I was waking him up so he wouldn’t be late,” Molly answered. Chuck looked at the little girl, who smiled back at him.

“Well, I am awake,” Chuck admitted. Emma laughed as the four headed in. “Is Sarah okay?”

“Yes, she told me to apologize and she’d call you later,” Emma said grinning. “She had a good time last night.” She paused as if deciding to tell him, and then made up her mind. “I think she wished you had stayed later.”

“Clara was teething,” Chuck explained.

“Oh, dear. Did you get any sleep?” Chuck moved his hand back and forth to say a little. “Do we need to cancel tonight?”

“I think I’ll be fine,” Chuck said. “The first night is usually the worst. Will Sarah be able to make it?”

“She should, although I don’t know. All I know is something about a virus called Jeffery.” Chuck stopped short.

“Are you sure it’s not Jeffster?” Emma snapped her fingers.

“That’s it!”

“Who’s going to work on it?” Chuck asked, remembering how this monster was created by Jeff and Lester who decided to take all viruses they could find and combine them together. It never should have worked, but it was Jeffster, so when something wasn’t supposed to work it did. Emma shrugged.

“I guess her regular IT guy, not that he appears to be that good,” she said, trying not to let the grin grow on her face. “I suppose fixing a computer would be a step down for a video game creator.” Chuck couldn’t help but grin at Emma.

“You have no shame, do you?”

“Nope, you two get along great, just like Molly and I thought you would.”

“When is Clara’s birthday?” Molly asked.

“It’s next Friday,” Chuck replied. “She’ll be one.”

“Good,” Molly said.

“Do you want to get her a present, Honey?” Emma asked. Molly looked perturbed at the question.

“Granny, she’s my sister, I have to throw her a birthday party,” she said as she reached up to carry Clara. Chuck looked at Emma, who shrugged. Molly begin to give Chuck the stinkeye. Chuck gave Clara to Molly, who gently carried her to the baby room. Mrs. Wood smiled at the beginnings of the blended family.

“I have no chance against her, do I?” Chuck asked.

“Sarah asked me the same thing this morning,” Emma said as she looked at Chuck. “She likes you, a lot, and I think she wants you to be her father.” Chuck looked at Emma and gulped.

}o{

Chuck sat in his office, the lights off, his eyes closed, listening to Here I go Again by Whitesnake on repeat. Morgan came down the hall, heard the music, prayed for the best, yet feared the worst, stuck his head in, and groaned.

“No, Chuck, no, no, no,” he said protesting.

“Buddy,” Chuck began.

“It’s not Clara’s birthday, it’s not Devon’s or Ellie’s. It’s not their anniversary, so what is it? What have I forgot that we need to get you through, because you CANNOT do this. You promised!”

“Buddy,” Chuck began again.

“I can hold down the fort, I can keep the games going, but, Chuck, you cannot sink and spiral like this!”

“Buddy, I met someone,” Chuck said softly. Morgan stood up straight. A smile came across his face.

“That’s great! No, really, Chuck, that’s fantastic! What’s her name?”

“Sarah Walker.”

“You know, that’s funny, the lady Alex works for name is Sarah Walker, and dude, no offense to your woman, do you know who she looks like?”

“Vicky Vale,” Chuck replied, knowing they were firmly on the Morgan train, next stop Insanityville.

“That’s right! How did you know?” Chuck looked at him from between his hands. Morgan’s eyes got wide. “DUDE! You are dating Vicky Vale.”

“Dating is strong,” Chuck began.

“No, this is good. This is really good!” Chuck had to get control of this, and soon.

“Buddy, do you really know what Casey does or used to do?”

“Oh, yeah. He used to work for the NSA, and killed a lot of people, but you can’t tell anyone.” Chuck looked at him, not for sure if he was impressed with his friend or certain he was crazy. “He told me in specific, graphic details of many of his kills. I didn’t kiss Alex for a week.”

“If Casey said he could hunt someone down, do you believe him?”

“Absolutely, whoever John Casey decides to find, is as good as found.” Chuck groaned and banged his head against the desk. “Who are they looking for, Chuck? I figured that part out, I’m getting better at this.”

“Piranha,” Chuck answered, his forehead slowly bouncing off the desk.

“Huh, funny, it sounded like you said Piranha,” Morgan said, looking a little concerned.

“I did.” Morgan was quiet for several seconds.

“Should I go empty out petty cash so you and Clara can run?”

“There’s only $38 in there.”

“I used it to get pizza the other day,” Morgan answered. “Why do they want Piranha?”

“They need a computer expert for their company.”

“I’ve got $47 in quarters at my apartment.”

“I can’t take Clara on the run for the rest of my life. Certainly not with just $85.”

“Maybe you should break up with her.”

“Would that really make a difference?”

“No.”

“Plus, she’s got this daughter, Molly. She’s great Morgan, I don’t want to hurt her, and I don’t want to hurt Sarah. Her heart…it’s so big and there’s so much love there. I think I’m the first guy she’s trusted in a long time, and I can’t hurt her. I can’t let her down.” Chuck gave a big bump to his head on the last one. “Plus, they’ve been infected by Jeffster.”

“They’re going to need a topical cream for that. Antibiotics aren’t enough.”

“The computer virus, Morgan.”

“Oh, that’s better. Who have they got working on it?”

“Their IT guy.”

“SKIP?” Chuck raised his head.

“From Buy More?” Morgan nodded. Chuck banged his head on the table one more time. “Chuck, your lady, she is in distress. You know what you have to do.” Chuck sighed. Morgan was right. Chuck stood up, Morgan got his coat, and slipped it on his arms without a word. As Chuck turned, Morgan grabbed his arms, and looked him right in the eye. “Remember, when everything’s down, remember.”

“Don’t Stop Believin’?” Morgan clapped his hands on Chuck’s arms.

“Go get her, Buddy.” Chuck took a deep breath and left the safety of Intersect Games. He found his way to Burton Industries, which was only a couple of blocks away. He parked his car, walked inside, and found Alex yelling at the computer.

“That only works with Morgan,” Chuck said to Alex. Alex looked up, saw Chuck, and ran around the desk to hug him.

“Tell me you’re here to fix our problems!”

“I thought you had a boyfriend, Alex,” Sarah’s voice came from the hallway. Alex smiled and saw her boss, and friend leaning against the doorframe, smiling at Chuck. “Chuck, miss me?” Chuck’s worries went away and he gave her his million watt smile.

“Yeah,” he said honestly. Oh, crap there goes my knees again! I’ve had guys give me these lines before, how did they never affect me? Maybe because he’s telling the truth? “But, as much as it is a joy to see you, I thought I might help you out.”

“How’s that?”

“I hear you’re using Skip as your IT guy.” Sarah nodded. Chuck sighed. “I can fix this in ten minutes.” Sarah stood up straight, smiling.

“You don’t have to impress me, Chuck. Skip says it will take hours.”

“I’m not trying to impress you, if I had I would have told you five minutes,” he said confidently. And, there goes my knees again, and my belly, this guy is going to be the death of me, and I haven’t even properly kissed him yet!

“Well, I guess there’s only one way to settle this,” Sarah said with a challenging look in her smile. “If you take 5 minutes or less, you win and you get to choose what the loser has to do, if it takes 5 minutes 1 second or more, I get to choose what the loser does.” Sarah stuck out her hand. Chuck nodded and shook. He started to remove his hand, when he realized he couldn’t. Sarah was staring at him, with the same challenging look. “Alex,” she said, still looking directly at him. “Would you mind baby-sitting Clara when Chuck loses so I can take him out on a date.”

“Sarah, if you wanted to ask me out, all you had to do is ask,” Chuck said. He thought he saw Sarah swallow.

“I’d be glad to, Sarah,” Alex said grinning.

“If I ask you out, you might do something silly like say no, this way, I know what I’m getting.”

“I don’t think you like to lose, Sarah.”

“Think?” she asked, and released his hand. Chuck, never releasing her gaze, cracked his knuckles, rolled his neck, and nodded toward her.

“Shall we?” he asked. Sarah led him, with Alex following close behind. Casey and Carina saw what was going on and followed them into the server room. Chuck saw Skip trying to stop the virus, but he was going about it all wrong. Skip looked up, saw Chuck, and jumped up out of the chair. “Thanks, Buddy.” Chuck sat down, and began to look over the code. Sarah came over with her phone and put it on stopwatch mode. She put 5 minutes on the clock.

“It’s not too late to back out,” she said, smirking. Chuck looked at her, and winked.

“You don’t want to know what you have to do when I win?”

“You can tell me if you want because there is no way it ever happens.” Chuck nodded. “3. 2. 1.” And with that, Chuck’s fingers started flying across the keyboard. Gone was the man who last night was down on himself, gone was the self-deprecating humor, gone was the man who had lost all his family. In front of her, with his fingers flying was the man who believed in himself, and heaven help her it was so sexy. Sarah swallowed, and had to look away. The timer clicked down and two minutes had passed. “Oh look, I’m gonna fix that patch in your security while I’m in here.” Skip tried to watch, but just couldn’t keep up. The time passed by, and Sarah had no idea how close he was.

“Forty-five seconds is all I’ll need,” he said. The time had 50 seconds on it. The time went down and Chuck appeared very confident. He snuck a glance at Sarah, and winked at her. She shook her head, smiling. She could get used to this Chuck. “Where are you,” he said, scouring for a batch of code.

“Ten seconds, Chuck,” she said, leaning right against his ear, her breath making him shiver.

“Found it,” he said, with four seconds to spare. He held his finger above the enter key and they both watched as the counter went to zero, and a -1 appeared on the screen. Chuck hit enter, looking her directly in the eye. Carina checked one of the nearby computers, it worked perfectly. “Guess you win, Sarah,” Chuck said. The look on Sarah’s face was indescribable.

“Why did you do that?” she asked softly.

“Because losing really didn’t sound like losing,” he said. “Six tonight?” he asked. She nodded. He got up, gave her a kiss on the cheek, nodded at Casey, gave Carina and Alex a quick hug, fist bumped Skip, and left.

“Why are we not using him for our computer guy, Walker?” Carina asked.

“I offered, and he’s not comfortable now that he has Clara,” Sarah answered, but part of her wondered.

“You and Molly are safe,” Carina countered.

“Walker’s a trained agent,” Casey replied. “If someone comes after Bartowski, there’s nothing he can do.”

“No one would ever know it was him,” Skip said. Everyone turned toward him, they sometimes forgot Skip worked there. “It’s almost like he’s a hacker, he’s so good.”

“So he’s safe,” Carina said. Sarah shook her head. Carina grinned. “You could always move in with him and give 24 hour protection.” Sarah gave her a level look, but a grin fought her face, and won.

“What do you me almost like he’s a hacker,” Casey said. Skip shrugged.

“Just sometimes, when no one is paying attention to what he is doing, he can do things I’ve never even heard of, but when he realizes someone is watching, he just real good.”

“Thanks, Skip, you can go,” Casey said.

“But, this is my area,” Skip replied. Casey stared at him.

“Take the day off.”

“But, Sarah is my boss not you.”

“Skip, take the day off,” Sarah said. She didn’t like where this was going. Skip left, and Sarah turned toward Casey. “Be very careful what you’re about to say.” Casey shook his head.

“He probably knows Piranha or someone like him, and I think I scared Chuck last night,” Casey said. Sarah nodded. “Look, a lot of those geeks,” Sarah gave him a glare. “Nerds?” She nodded. “Wow, she’s already whipped,” he muttered. Sarah glared again. Casey ignored it and went on. “Are good on a computer. I’m not saying he knows a big name hacker, but with me going off last night like I was, what if he does? Maybe he could do what we need, but he’s got to be scared half to death after my rant.” Carina felt his forehead to see if he had malaria or if he was delirious. Casey swatted at her hand.

“Sarah, you should probably talk to him,” Carina said. Sarah raised an eyebrow. “Oh get off it. You brought us in, changed us, heart-warmed us, and now we have lady feelings. Before I used to just be out for fun, but now I want something as well…maybe someone to give me lady feelings and lady feelings,” Carina said with a wink. Sarah’s mouth dropped, and John grunted and grinned at Carina. Carina turned toward him.

“Johnny you promised you’d never grunt at me that way again.”

“And you promised you’d destroy that photo.” Sarah stuck her fingers in her ears and closed her eyes.

“NAHNAHNAHNAHNAH,” she started chanting. “I need brain bleach! I need it now!” Carina came over and hugged her.

“Go get lunch and go talk to him.”

“Sarah, he was in a real bad place a while back,” John said quietly. “He might have been serious last night, that little girl may have saved his life.” Sarah nodded and walked off.

“I still need brain bleach,” she yelled as she walked out the door. Carina turned toward John, and he sighed.

“I think I messed up,” he said. Carina grinned at him.

“Who are you and what have you done with John Casey?” Carina asked. Casey grunted, but his heart wasn’t in it. “Casey, are you implying-”

“I’m not implying he’s Piranha, but he’s probably a hacker. Look at the way he clammed up and left last night.” Carina nodded.

“He was worried what would happen if we didn’t find a computer expert,” Carina said. “What do we do if he is Piranha?”

“I don’t think it matters if he is or isn’t. It’s obvious Bartowski is a good man that will do what has to be done for his family, and he all but volunteered last night. Whatever pranks he pulled in the past, are in the past, and we all deserve second chances,” Casey said. “He and Walker deserve happiness.”

“You know, we could make sure they figure this thing out,” Carina offered.

“You know my boyfriend is Chuck’s best friend, Dad,” Alex said from the doorway they never heard open. John nodded and looked at Carina, who grinned. “Let’s go have lunch and talk this out,” she said, heading down the hallway.

“You know, Johnny,” Carina said softly. “I still have those cuffs, and you always were good at giving me lady feelings.” Casey grunted.

}o{

Sarah had heard for years about this deli in town that was supposed to be one of the absolute best, so she told Alex where she was headed, and took off. She wanted to stretch her legs, so she walked down to the Buy More Plaza…or was it the Large Mart Plaza…she could never be sure. In the past few years an Orange Orange and Weinerlicious had gone out of business there. If Sarah hadn’t known better she’d have thought both would have been a CIA cover. She saw the sign she was looking for and entered. As she scanned the list of sandwiches, she noticed one that caught her eye and made her smile. It was after the lunch rush, and the store was nearly empty. A woman, about her age, short, and a brunette watched her. She looked up in the direction Sarah was looking and grinned.

“It’s one of our best sellers,” she said.

“The Chuck, huh? That’s an interesting name for a sandwich,” Sarah said.

“It’s named after an interesting guy,” the sandwich maker replied. “Chuck Bartowski is one interesting man.” Sarah raised an eyebrow.

“Tall, lanky, raising his niece-”

“His hair makes interesting animal shapes?” the sandwich maker cut in. “Hi,” she said extending her hand. “My name is Lou, let me make you a sandwich and you and I have a little talk.” Sarah raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“Sarah,” she replied. Sarah went and sat down, and Lou joined her a few minutes later.

“So you know, Alex and Morgan both called me today to tell me about you. We’re all Chuck’s friends. Alex called me to give me a heads-up after you said you were walking over here to have lunch today.”

“So is this where you sit me down and tell me if I hurt him, you’ll hurt me?”

“No, Alex assured me that’s not your style, what I have been voted to do though, is the person to tell you what you’re getting into. Chuck will eventually, but he has to mope, and doubt himself for a while before he can open up.” Sarah looked relieved.

“So he’s doubts himself that much around everybody?” Lou rolled her eyes, and Sarah laughed.

“Look, Jill did a number on him and then when his best friend was sleeping with her behind his back…well, things couldn’t get much worse, or so we thought,” Lou began. Sarah had a look on her face that said, “wellllll” “What?” Lou asked.

“The last guy I dated was Bryce Larkin, but that was over 5 years ago.” Lou’s mouth dropped.

“Really?”

“My job…”

“You’re former CIA,” she said. Sarah was not happy that she knew.

“Does everyone know?”

“Morgan does, so yes,” Lou replied, grinning. “Casey tried to scare him about Alex and told him he was NSA, so Morgan assumed you and Carina were as well.” Sarah dropped her head. “Don’t worry, Morgan doesn’t say anything out of his circle of trust…I don’t think.” Sarah shook her head and chuckled.

“Sometimes, back then, there was no one to trust, no one to understand what you went through.” Sarah looked away, it had made so much sense back then, now, it just seemed shallow, which she now realized that’s what it was.

“A port in the storm, as they say?” Lou asked. Sarah nodded.

“He’s the last guy I’ve even been on a date with, and that was five years ago,” Sarah said. Lou’s mouth dropped. “Seriously, raising a child and running a company; Time. Con. Suming.” Lou laughed. “Anyway.”

“Back to Chuck, I tried five years ago to date the guy, but he had no confidence. I name a sandwich after him, Sarah, and he still never asked me out. Sarah, if you want a relationship with his guy, you’re going to have to do a lot of the work. He’s broken, and then he was nearly whole, and then he lost his rock, Ellie. Sarah, I think he has survivor’s guilt. I’m no psychologist, but I think he believes he should have been the one to die.”

“Maybe he needs to see one,” Sarah offered. Lou snorted.

“We tried that, he refused to go back, said the doctor reminded him too much of the professor from Back to the Future,” Lou said, shaking her head. She looked at Sarah right in the eye.

“He needs a friend, someone who will love him for who he is, and see what’s inside,” she paused and grinned at her. “And, from what I’ve been told, you have passed most of the qualifications.” Sarah raised an eyebrow.

“Most?” Sarah asked. Lou smiled.

“Morgan hasn’t signed off on you yet,” she replied. “Morgan considers himself Chuck’s heterosexual life partner, and has final say.”

“He does, does he?” Sarah smiled. “Maybe I need to meet Morgan.” Lou smiled.

“I would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation,” Lou said. She turned serious. “He thinks everyone has abandoned him, and is certain he will never have happiness. I want him to be happy, but you have to know this is going to take some time.” Sarah nodded.

“Think I’ll head over and see a couple of nerds,” Sarah said smiling. Lou smiled, reached out, and shook her hand.

“Good luck, Sarah,” I’m pulling for you.

A/N: 2 things, Lou always got crapped on, and I never thought it was right. Sorry if you need brain bleach. You all have been wonderful, don’t know how quick the next one will come.

#Sarah #Chuck #Charah #AU #Fanfic #Sarah vs The Unexpected Life #I miss them #Fluff #Not sorry

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nickireadstfc · 7 years

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The Raven King, Chapter 7 – Next Stop: Backstory Central

In which Kevin and Neil have a heart-to-heart that feels like an aftershock of last chapter’s earthquake, Neil continues his quest to becoming an actual human being, and we unlock like fifty levels of backstory thanks to everyone’s favourite chatty gay sunshine.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

Have I recovered from the sass fest from last time?

No.

Are we going to plunge in straight again with yet another 3k+ chapter?

Yes.

Let’s go.

“You want to tell me why you have a hard-on for antagonizing Riko?” Wymack asked.

“He started it,” Neil muttered into his tortilla.

Reason number 4597265 why I love Wymack: He uses the exact same expressions I would.

A hard-on for antagonizing Riko, amazing. <3

“How can you stand having a team like ours, Coach? Isn’t it exhausting dealing with us and our problems day after day?”

Wymack emptied his coffee with one big gulp. “Nope.”

Reason number 1 why I love Wymack: THIS. FUCKING THIS.

My grumpy Hufflepuff vodka dad I love you so much.

#dicksoutforwymack, always.

Grumpy Hufflepuff vodka dad is starting to see through Neil’s bullshit, though. He confronts him about “not adding up right” and even asks him about why he’s such a smartass to the powerful Moriyamas, but flinches when Wymack makes a wrong hand movement.

And Neil – amazing! Such character development! – answers him honestly, saying he doesn’t trust men his father’s age on principle.

As a prize for Neil’s honesty, we get Wymack’s backstory in return – the first of many, many this chapter, I can promise you that.

“You parents must be something else.”

“So must be yours if you spend so much time on us,” Neil said.

“They were,” Wymack agreed.

“Oh,” Neil said. “Are they both dead?”

Wymack looked amused by his tactlessness. “My mother OD’d almost ten years ago and my father lost a prison fight the first year I started here at Palmetto state. I hadn’t spoken to either of them since I left D.C.”

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Wymack’s family is just as fucked up as the Foxes’.

Cue generic “dude comes from broken home, tries to make a better home for younger folks in same situation” trope.

Cue me crying.

“Sometimes the world feels so big, but then I’m reminded how small it is.”

“Big or small, just remember that you’re not alone in it,” Wymack said. “You have your team, but that’s a double-edged sword. They’re there for you anytime you need them, and they’ll hold you up if you want them to, but you actions have consequences for all of them as well. The more you antagonize Riko, the harder you make things on them.”

And just as I was about comment on how emotional I’m getting over all the team feels – Neil goes and ends the feels time again.

“Like with Seth,” Neil said. “I know.”

Wymack stared at him for an endless minute, then said too quietly, “The fuck did you just say to me?”

Well…. Fuck.

Wymack is decidedly not liking Andrew’s theory over the Mysterious and Dramatic Death of one Seth Gordon. He tells Neil that whatever happened is not his fault, as Riko – whatever he may have done – definitely crossed a line, or two, or fifty, all armed with missiles and wire and Keep Out Riko, You Big Fucknut signs.

You know, what any sane human being could have told Neil chapters ago, but as we know homeboy doesn’t exactly surround himself with the sanest bunch of people.

Also, for the record, I think Andrew’s “theory” is entirely correct. But we’ll see.

Onwards to the stadium and to more interesting confrontation in this chapter: Neil vs Kevin vs Literal Years Of Repressed Childhoood Memories.

“You’re not really him,” Kevin said so low Neil barely understood his words. “Tell me you aren’t really Nathaniel.” (…)

“Don’t call me that. It doesn’t matter who I used to be. I’m Neil now.”

Damn, brain, back at it again with the trans!Neil headcanons.

MY SON.

“I figured the chances of you remembering me were slim and I gambled on you not knowing the truth about my family.”

“How could we not remember you?” Kevin asked.

Bitch, you literally did not remember him until violently reminded by the Ravens. Do not come to me with that shit.

Today’s Casually Mentioned, Yet Heartbreakingly Sad Neil Fact is this:

“My mother didn’t tell me why we were running,” Neil said. (…) “It was always about the weather or our current language or the local culture – the next time she had anything meaningful to say to me was when she was dying.”

I CREI.

Now, did you think we were done with all the plot twists and backstory developments last chapter?

Hell fuckin’ nope. There’s one crucial bit missing.

(And probably like a million more that I have no idea are yet to come, but let me enjoy a moment of “maybe we’re done now pls”.)

“You father was Lord Kengo’s right hand man, the most trusted weapon in Lord Kengo’s arsenal. (…) You were supposed to be like me. You were a gift, another player for the master to train.”

FUCKING WHAT.

Oh jeez. Oh shit. Fuck, no.

This just takes the fucking cake, but it’s considerably less yummy birthday cake and more The Help-actual-shit-cake.

To sum this up:

Tiny baby Neil was given a chance to be recruited by the Moriyamas: If he played well enough they’d keep him as a pet, if he didn’t, his own father would personally kill him. His mother ran away with him before he could get to that tryout, yet never told him a thing about their actual situation – for no understandable reason. Neil’s life could have basically gone two directions: A youth prodigy Exy star raised on domestic abuse and crippling anxiety, or the isolated runaway with internalized trust issues he is now. And now that the Moriyamas know he’s still out there, they want to salvage their “lost property” and make him the Raven he was meant to be.

There is legit not one part of that paragraph I’m not yelling “WHAT THE FUCK” at.

What is happening?? The fuck??? THE FUCK?????

Area Girl Thought She’d Seen The Last Of This, What Happens Next Will Shock You:

Because what happens next is wonderful, wonderful character development.

Neil crouched and pressed his hands to the orange paint. “I don’t want to run. I don’t want to be a Raven. I don’t want to be Nathaniel. I want to be a Fox. I want to play with you this year and I want us to make it to championships. And in spring when the Moriyamas come for me I’ll do what they’re so afraid I will. I’ll go to the FBI and tell them everything. Let them kill me. It’ll be too late by then.”

SHIT BOI.

FUCK ME THE FUCK UP.

Have I like……….. mentioned I love this boy recently?? Yes?? Good.

Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, “You should be Court.”

It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil.

//cries for a million years.

Honestly, the Kevin/Neil dynamic just keeps fucking getting me, and these recent developments are not helping.

Ah, speaking of character dynamics I’d probably take a bullet for –

“Andrew has neither purpose nor ambition,” Kevin said. “I was the first person who ever looked at Andrew and told him he was worth something. When he comes off these drugs and has nothing else to hold him up I will give him something to build his life around.”

//cries for a billion years.

So, their deal is “I protect you from your crazy ass abusers and their posse, in return you give me a future”?

I can work with that. I can also imagine there’s probably more to it. Let’s wait and see.

Onwards to better and brighter things:

A few interesting developments in Neil’s Quest to Becoming An Actual Human Being.

For the first time in his life, Neil wasn’t thinking about the future. He stopped counting days until the Ravens’ match and scaled back on how much news he watched and read. He threw all of his energy into practices, stayed awake through most of his classes, and juggled his teammates as best as he could.

You guys have no, no idea how happy that sentence makes me.

Yes, my son. Go out there and have a life full of happy practices and healthy social interactions. <3

He knew things about [his teammates] he’d never bothered to learn about anyone else in his entire life.

Scratch that part before, this sentence makes me so much happier.

IT’S MOTHER FLIPPIN’ BACKSTORY TIME.

I’ll sum things up for you.

Matt comes from a wealthy, but broken family, and has a history of drug abuse (which we knew already). His boxer mum is probably the most badass woman there is.

Renee was born Natalie, used to be in the foster system (same as Andrew!), and knows Dan from back in high school where they used to be Exy rivals. Wymack signed them both and they became fast friends afterwards.

Dan did stripping as a way to support her aunt and newborn cousin while in high school, and although she has cut ties with her family, she’s still in touch with her strip squad. Dan also wants to take over coaching the Foxes after Wymack retires.

In short: FUCK. YEAH.

A few chapters ago I was just complaining about all the backstory we don’t yet have, and now we’re getting ambushed by it.

I am loving this development.

Even Allison starts coming around! We don’t get her backstory yet (although we do kind of have some already – daughter of a wealthy and famous family wants to prove herself as her own person), but she makes steps towards being a little more okay. V nice. V good.

*whispers* I really want to like you please give me a reason to.

But ah, mes amis, did you think we were done yet? Fuck, no.

Welcome to the best part of this chapter: It’s Backstory Time – Special Minyard Edition.

“The coffee that interesting?”

Neil wondered if the Foxes secretly installed him with a tracking chip and turned towards Nicky’s voice.

Bahahahaha. Wouldn’t put it past [eyes Kevin and Andrew suspiciously] some of them.

They bump into Aaron and Katelyn on their first totally-not-a-date (I still give about 0.2 fucks about this relationship) and Nicky doesn’t crack any jokes about it – a miracle! – but instead starts to randomly give more insights into the Andrew-Aaron dynamic.

Not that I’m fucking complaining.

“Andrew hates her, you know?”

“Why?” Neil asked.

“Because Aaron likes her,” Nicky said, as if that was obvious. (…) “Andrew’s not really big on the idea of Aaron’s happiness, see? So if Aaron likes Katelyn, Andrew doesn’t want him to have her. Andrew might smile awful bright but he is a master of childish spite.”

Haha, that rhymed.

Andrew might smile awful bright, But he is a master of childish spite. “I have been raised on fear and hate Let Aaron suffer an equal fate.” His problems could be solved, my friends And Andrew could start making sense If Neil would think in that direction: The dude just needs some love and affection.

Thank you, thank you. Autographs at stage door, please.

Poetry time over.

Prepare for ALL THE MINYARD BACKSTORY.

(Who are we kidding. There’s probably still more. Dear god help me.)

“I told you Aunt Tilda gave Andrew up, right? That’s only half of it. Truth is she put both of them in the system at first. One week later she changed her mind. (…) Andrew went off to foster care and Aaron became to living reminder of Aunt Tilda’s guilt and failure. Aunt Tilda tried as hard as she could to not deal with Aaron at all.”

Ohhh shit. One Child Neglect to go please, coming right up.

Seriously, what is wrong with that woman. Either take both of them or take none of them. Don’t separate siblings, especially not twins. What the fuck is that “I’m feeling bad so I’ll take back one BUT not bad enough to take back two” bullshit.

“I’m thinking that’s why he wouldn’t talk to Aaron when Aaron wrote to him. He was – justifiably, I think – pissed off.”

Well, fucking duh. I’d be pissed off, too. Of course, it would be more reasonable to be pissed that the mother, but I can’t exactly blame Andrew for not being instant BFFs with Aaron.

“Aunt Tilda moved them cross-country, started drinking more than ever, and got heavy-handed with Aaron. Aaron got into all kinds of trouble in some sort of traumatized rebellion.”

Oh nooooo shit my dude, now I do feel bad for Aaron.

What sort of fuckery even are the Minyard’s lives.

“[Dad] introduced Aaron to Andrew. That’s when things started moving. Andrew suddenly got motivated. He started behaving and toeing the line and got released on early parole about a year later.”

“Andrew decided he wanted a brother after all,” Neil said. “So what went wrong?”

“Aunt Tilda died, and Aaron blames Andrew.”

OH SHIT.

Basically, what happened was that Andrew was standing in for Aaron – damn Minyards, back at it again with the twin tricks! – and he was in the car with Tilda when she caused a car crash that killed her.

Why are their lives so dramatic. What the fuck.

“Aaron can’t accept that she’s gone. He misses her. He can’t forgive Andrew, and Andrew doesn’t understand or care about how much it hurt Aaron. Stalemate.”

Well, doesn’t that sound like a wonderful brother match made in heaven.

However, Neil has some interesting insights to share on the whole fucked-up shebang:

“Andrew did care. That’s what went wrong. (…) Andrew would have traced Aaron’s problems back to their mother. Maybe he didn’t kill her for giving him up. Maybe he did it to protect Aaron. (…) She was hurting Aaron, so Andrew stopped her.”

For someone who says he doesn’t care about Andrew, Neil has suspiciously good understanding of how Andrew’s brain works.

Like, better than people like Nicky and Aaron, who have known him for literal years.

Just sayin’.

Also, what the fuck.

Also: That explains the “maybe he’s afraid she’ll die on him like the last woman he really loved” from a few chapters back!! Don’t you just love it when things… [clenches fist] add up.

“I’ve realized I can’t fix it on my own. I hate to say it, but I wish Renee would hurry up and make her move.” (…)

“What? I thought you didn’t like her.”

Nicky bolted upright like Neil struck him. “Who doesn’t like Renee?”

TAGGED #ME. MY DAUGHTER. DESERVING OF ALL THE LOVE.

Apparently, if we believe Nicky, my beloved platonic goalie BFFs ship is a lot less platonic than I thought – at least from Renee’s perspective.

Idk how I feel about this. Could be problematic. But could also be cute and very beneficial for Andrew, and my sweet murder snowflake does seem like she could handle his shit.

…Alright, who are we kidding. The latter. I love this dynamic in every way, haters to the left.

However, Neil proves once again that he has about the emotional capacity of a brick, and offers the only solution to any problem he knows:

“What about Exy?”

ARE YOU FOR REAL.

“Exy isn’t an option here, okay? You can love Exy all you want, it’s never gonna love you back.”

“So?”

“Oh my God.” Nicky looked torn between horror and pity. “Seriously? That might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Same, Nicks.

Nicky tries talking some sense into Neil and pointing out that Exy can’t be your end-all-be-all for an emotionally healthy future, but Neil quickly derails him with Nicky’s favourite subject: Gay Talk™.

“Why don’t you like girls?” (…)

“They’re so soft.”

Neil thought about Renee’s bruised knuckles, Dan’s fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth’s death. (…) He felt compelled to say, “Some of the strongest people I’ve known are women.”

Bless feminist Neil.

(Nicky, of course, didn’t mean it like that and was talking about literally being soft, curves and all.)

And then – did you think we were done with backstory for today?

Because there’s one bugger still missing.

“There’s religious and there’s super psychotic religious. Me and Renee, we’re the decent sort, I think. (…) But my parents are the black-and-white-crazy kind.”

Oh, shit no.

As it turns out, Nicky (bless his heart) tried coming out to his parents despite their fanatism, which promptly resulted in them sending him to bible camp and tried to shame the gay out of him, which resulted in Nicky being hardcore depressed and suicidal.

MY SON. FUCK NO.

What saved him was Germany – being abroad and having someone showing him how to balance faith and sexuality. And as much as I love this development and I’m happy for them, I can’t get over one thing:

The guy is called Erik Klose. As in, German football superstar Miroslav Klose. And I can’t get over the mental image of Nora being like “oh well, I need a German surname, guess I’ll just take a look at the football squad from that year, ah yes perfect, that one.”

It’s not even that funny, but I now cannot ever take Erik seriously.

Nicky, of course, reins the conversation back to Neil needing to have healthy emotional bonds with someone at some point, which makes Neil end the conversation altogether.

Except for one last thing- is that a sliver of – gasp! – actual Andreil I see at the horizon?

For a moment Neil wondered. There was only one person in the world strong enough for all of Neil’s problems, and she was dead now. (…) Andrew, though, nodded in the face of his burden and told Neil to stay. He stood his ground when neil asked him for murder and gave him a key to their house.

But that didn’t count, because Andrew was Andrew, and this was definitely the last turn he needed his thoughts to take.

:’)))))))))))))))))))) I’m fine.

If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing, please consider buying me a coffee! Thank you so much <3

#nicki reads tfc #trk #tfc #aftg #nora sakavic #the raven king #all for the game #the foxhole court #GUESS WHOS LATE ITS ME #I'll make a post explaining some things about the Update Situation tonight okay #I promise I'm not forgetting you guys I'm just.. stressed #also I’m sorry for not answering any asks lately I can somehow only do that from mobile atm and I keep forgetting!! I’ll get to them in the #next two days hopefully

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radioleary-blog · 6 years

Text

Trump vs. Mueller: The Interview

First of all, congratulations on reading. It’s a dying art, like soap making, or scrimshaw, or critical thinking. These are all dying arts. I knew a girl who made psychedelic T-shirts to sell at Phish shows, but that was more of a dye-ing art. Did I have to start this column with a pun? “Oh yeah!” And I say “Oh Yeah!” just like the Kool-aid man. You know the Kool-aid man, right? I like his style, smashing through the wall of your house and doing thousands of dollars in structural damage and creating an insurance nightmare that will drag on for months. Not sure how a somehow sentient being who is made of glass and liquid can smash through concrete, but that’s the way it is. Never underestimate the power of sugar, I guess. And what was the deal that his face was made only of condensation? That sounds like a hellish existence, I’d probably be insane enough to try to commit suicide by smashing my glass body into cinder blocks and cement too.

Second, thanks for reading my column, you’re clearly a person of virtue and accomplishment, destined for greatness and getting lots of hot sex along the way.

Let’s get into it. One way or another, Trump is going to sit down with Robert Mueller. And we here at The Satire Day Evening Post, in cooperation with the RADIOLEARY Broadcasting Podcasting Association, have spent enormous amounts of federal grant money (that would have otherwise gone to the needy and blind) in order to research and predict the outcome of this interview. Using predictive algorithms and analytic software designed with reverse-engineered alien technology from flying saucer crash-site retrievals, along with a veritable army of prognosticators, dowsers, gypsy witches, remote viewers, seers, visionaries, mediums, extra-larges, sooth-sayers, shamans, telephone psychics, peyote salesmen, and fortune cookie authors, we have what we feel to be a complete and 100% accurate transcript of the Robert Mueller Donald Trump interview.

So look into the future with us, and someday soon we’ll say, “Hey, it wasn’t that far off.”

MUELLER: Mr. President, I want to thank you for coming here today to answer some questions. You had stated publicly many times how you looked forward to speaking to me under oath, and here we are. And all it took was an invitation. Followed by a Grand Jury subpoena. Followed by 11 months of litigation, and a year of well-orchestrated media attacks on me personally, attacks on the integrity of the Russia investigation in general, and the entire FBI and Justice Department.

TRUMP: It was my pleasure.

MUELLER: Now, I know that your legal advisers were worried this interview would be some sort of a “perjury trap”, but I assure you we just have some straightforward, simple questions we hope you can answer for us. We’re not looking to trick you or trap you in any way. Now, if you could just state your name for the record, please?

TRUMP: Yes, My name is Donald Trump and I’m guilty of treason.

MUELLER: Wait...What? May I remind you you’re under oath?

TRUMP: Oh right. My bad. Can I get a do-over on that one? I’m calling a mulligan.

MUELLER: Look, I.. okay, sure. Fine, whatever. Could you please state your name for the record?

TRUMP: My name is Donald J. Trump. And I’m guilty of treason. See, I almost forget the “J.” there for a minute. They told me you were tricky, but you can’t trip me up that easily, I’m a stable genius. You have to get up pretty early in the morning, if you want to see my insane Twitter rants. Okay, that’s take two, make sure you use take two, when is this episode going to air? I hope it’s sweeps week.

MUELLER: Did.. did you just say you’re guilty of treason?

TRUMP: Yep. They told me this interview was a perjury trap, that you’d try to get me to lie under oath, but I’m too smart for you. I’m like, an intelligent person. And I’m guilty of treason. Not lying. You can check. I am so completely guilty.

I committed treasonous acts against the United States and the people of the United States, I engaged in a criminal enterprise and conspiracy to overthrow the government, and I’ve served as a puppet dictator for a foreign power adversary. So by the U.S. military code of justice, I’m facing some very serious charges. I’m a baaad hombre. A tremendously bad hombre.

And I probably shouldn’t say this, but… I know where the Lindbergh baby’s buried. Hey, I didn’t kill it, I was just a boy at the time it happened. My dad killed it and I just held the ladder. It was a good thing I was there to hold the ladder or that baby might have fallen!

I probably shouldn’t have said that last part, but the lawyers said I couldn’t lie. You’re not going to trip me up that easily, Fox Mulder.

MUELLER: I’m former FBI head Bob Mueller, Mr. President, not Fox Mulder from the X-files.

TRUMP: Oh thank God it’s not Fox Mulder! That guy is really good with conspiracies! You mean I’ve been sweating it all this time for some guy named Bob Mueller? I don’t know who that is. I’ve never seen him on any shows, and I watch a lot of TV. I mean a truly amazing and tremendous amount of TV. Well, that explains why I haven’t seen Scully. She’s smart and sexy, like my daughter. The hot one, I mean.

But Fox Mulder? You know, it seems tio me that if Mulder just got on the internet for a few minutes, he could look up the information for himself and see that flying saucers are real. Because there’s like, three thousand physical trace evidence cases of UFOs that have been investigated and documented. And tens of millions of first-hand eyewitness statements and testimony, photographs, film and video, radar recordings, and Pentagon releases of classified military incidents and encounters with UFOs.

And I guess somehow this Mulder guy, who is supposed to be the FBI agent in charge of all this UFO stuff, somehow missed that in 2002 The French government, one of our most trusted NATO allies, released a position paper from the Defense Ministry that concluded that UFOs are extremely advanced extraterrestrial technology that poses a serious threat to national and world security, a threat that can violate our airspace at will, and for which we have no defense. But Mulder? He’s got a poster on the wall in his office that says “I WANT TO BELIEVE”. He’s more incompetent and unqualified for the job than I am!

Anyway, Mueller is it? Nice to meet you, Mr. Mueller, I’m guilty of treason. Extremely, very guilty of treason. You know, I’ve still got the gun I killed JFK with. Me and Ted Cruz’ dad.. It’s still got my fingerprints on it, too. But you’re never going to find it. Never in a million years will you ever find it. It is so well hidden, so fantastically hidden, that there is literally no possible way for you to ever find it. It’s buried four feet directly under the ninth hole on the Mar a Lago golf course. See? Not going to catch me lying.

Can I just say I am the Manchurian Candidate? Because you’re not going to trip me up! I’m a stable genius. You know, people say my mind… That’s what they say. They look at me and I hear them whisper “His mind..” and they just sort of trail off, and shake their heads in a shocked and horrified way. I think that means they’re impressed.

Anyway, next question, Mr. Mulder. By the way, that was very brave of you and Scully to fight that swamp monster during the hurricane in that abandoned motel. I’d have run, that was very scary. Like, Scooby-Doo scary.

MUELLER: <sighs audibly, takes off glasses, closes his eyes, and pinches the bridge of his nose> Yes, We had quite a time with that swamp monster. And the one we’re after today.

TRUMP: I think you actually beat The Apprentice in the ratings with that swamp monster episode. But I can’t lie, we were losing to Urkel reruns on Nick at Nite. But I’m a TV star, a big stable genius TV star - won Presidency - first try!!! Except for the time I ran in 2000 for President as the Reform Party candidate and lost - which I do not remember! So technically, I’m not lying when I say I won on the first try. Next question, Scully.

MUELLER: Mr. Trump could you, in your own words…

TRUMP: Hold on - in my own words? Yes! I do that all the time, I use my own words that I made up myself, like ‘bigly’ and ‘yuge’. I have the best words. I own a dictionary, and I don’t know if you know about dictionaries, but they have many, many words, like probably most of the words there are, you can find in a dictionary. But they’re very boring to read because they bunch they words together by whatever the first letter is, for some strange reason. Makes for a tough read, I quit by the time I hit ‘Aardvark’. Very strange book. I’ll go see the movie if they make one, it’ll have everything in there! You know, a lot of my words aren’t even in the dictionary, that’s how good they are , they can’t keep up! I also own a thesaurus. I own the best thesaurus, the Thesaurus Rex. Thats the king of the Thesauruses. I’m lucky to have one, they went extinct a long long time ago. In a galaxy far far away. You know words are just made up of letters. You arrange them and they make words. Although sometimes they don’t make words, like that little guy Superman foung, that midget from another dimension, what was his name? Mr Mxyzptlk? That’s not a word, it makes no sense, I tried to pronounce that one all through my 30’s. So yes, I will tell you in my own words. That I’m guilty of treason.

MUELLER: Well, I…

TRUMP: I should probably be court-martialed or something, or at the very least fired. Ooo! Can I fire myself? I’m very good at firing people, I used to do it for ratings. Well, I still do, kinda. I want to do it, I’ll look into a mirror and say “You’re Fired!” it’ll be great. No, we’ll do like a two camera shoot, where we’ll film me once getting fired and then another shot where I’m firing me. Like in the Six-Million Dollar Man where he fought his exact replica? Or when Captain Kirk fought the imposter Captain Kirk? Or any one of those TV shows where the guy fights the exact replica of himself, but you only see the back of the one guy’s head, because it’s obviously a stuntman who only slightly resembles the guy? I think the guy Captain Kirk was fighting was Salvadoran, but what can you do, they had a limited budget.

Mr. Mulder, let me just say this: I’m going to build a wall. Between myself and the Justice Department. It’s going to be a big, beautiful wall, like, yuge, and you’re going to be on one side of it, and I’m going to be on the other side. Because I’m thinking about fleeing to Mexico. Lots of bad hombres there, they’ll never notice one more.

MUELLER: Now tell me about this secret meeting between the Russians and Donald Trump, Jr.

TRUMP: Donald Trump, Jr.? Never heard of him. Doesn’t sound familiar, sorry. Is that anything like Carls Jr.? Because I like to eat lunch there. I’m scared of being poisoned by some unknown poison, so I go there where I know the poisons I’m getting.

I never heard of this Donald Trump Jr. fellow in my life, believe me. Believe me. And you know who you should always believe? A guy who’s always begging for someone to believe him, because no one ever does. Nope, never heard of this Donald Trump Jr.. But if he’s anything like me, he’s guilty of treason. Not as guilty as me, though, Believe me.

Most treasonous President ever! You know, in his whole eight years in office, Obama never came close to being the least bit treasonous. I guess he was too busy out on the golf course, playing golf like, one-tenth as much as I do. And still I have time for the treason. I can play ten times the golf Obama did and commit ten times the treason, that’s how effective I am. You know Mar a Lago is a Spanish word, it means “Lake of Treasons”. It where we all hang out and commit treason. It’s on the menu at the restaurant. “Hmm..I’ll start with the subterfuge.. A side of sedition.. And for the entree, I’m going to go with the treason.”

MUELLER: Mr. Trump, there have been recent questions as to your mental state. On more than one occasion you’ve referred to yourself publicly as a stable genius. Now, I’m not aware of a single instance where an actual genius ever once referred to themselves as a genius. Not in public, not in their memoirs, not in the heat of passion, never. It seems the one defining trait of an actual genius is never calling themselves a genius. In fact, only yourself and Wile E. Coyote have ever used the term ‘genius’ self-referentially.

And Wile E. Coyote was not a genius, he couldn’t even eat a bird despite having a limitless budget and access to defense industry-grade weaponry. He had state of the art advanced technology weapons that would put Tesla to shame. You know, rail guns, particle beams, and still couldn’t eat that goddamn bird. For a fraction of what he spent on any of those super- electro magnets that could pull an ocean liner out of the Pacific Ocean a thousand miles inland to the Arizona desert, he could have eaten every damn bird he wanted. He could have had them delivered roasted. Every day. For just a fraction of what he spent on tech in any given episode. Where was his money coming from, by the way? Paul Manafort? I’m going to have to look into that.

TRUMP: I don’t know about any of that, all I know is I’m guilty of treason. You know Melania hates me, right? Even before she found out I was banging a porn star while she was having my kid, whatever his name is. Schuyler, maybe? Anyway. I’ve been finding shards of glass in my porridge. Melania swears it’s a Hungarian recipe. That’s why I’m always eating KFC, I’m not scared of being poisoned by spies, I’m scared of being poisoned by a trophy wife.

MUELLER: Well, I have just one last question, on a lighter note. In your experience which was harder to win; The Presidency of the United States, or Celebrity Apprentice?

TRUMP: That’s an easy one - without a doubt - Celebrity Apprentice. You just look at the major talent and intellect that it took to win the Celebrity Apprentice: We had that Piers guy who got fired from CNN like ten minutes later. I think L’il John made it to the finals. Look, it takes country and western singers and Joan Rivers to win Celebrity Apprentice, but an insane, incompetent asshole like me can be President. So what does that tell you?

You know, Lou Ferrigno almost won. And I almost made him Secretary of Defense. My plan was, we sneak him into North Korea, as part of the negotiations, then we get him mad! We just get him mad, he turns into the Hulk, big, bang, boom, he kills L’il Kim. Kim jong Il? Kim Jong Dead. And look at it, the worse thing is he nukes us, but then we have an army of new Hulks from the radiation. Win/win, Scully.

MUELLER: Wow. Why don’t we break for lunch.

TRUMP: Sounds good. By the way, did I tell you…

MUELLER: I know, I know, you’re guilty of treason. But I knew that already.

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