#also this is probably my longest gift fic because i love throwing people at these assholes

[rorykillmore]

fires off a few ideas bc I love everything you write and am always indecisive so! some best au thing that features, as a requirement, cat grant roasting sasuke. rkorya and arrowverse/legends in some capacity. a lionclan or tigerclan fic that's just like their atmosphere or dynamics as a whole? I just want to think about either of them Existing honestly

surprise this one’s with its original ask because i did the first draft of it... well, first, before i decided to post all these separately. rkorya/legends interaction is something i’ve wanted to write for awhile and there were a couple different approaches i considered, but the idea of a first meeting (disastrous as it might inevitably be) won out. i’m sure one or both of us will get an opportunity to expand on the individual relationships in the future, so...

storm, i always almost find myself at a loss when it comes time to talk about our friendship because... idk we’ve endured a lot together and it’s really important to me. you’re someone i feel i can turn to when shit gets really rough and i have trouble admitting my vulnerabilities and i just wouldn’t be the person i am today, and denny wouldn’t be the site that it is, without you. i know you’ve had to put up with a lot of pain and doubt this past year but i’m so so proud of you for pushing through and being back in school for as long as you have been and. well. hopefully you enjoy this fic bc sara and rkorya’s dynamic is one of the many things we’ve built together that i’m really proud of. merry christmas!!!

“But, guys – we’re skipping right over the best part of a generally sucky situation,” Ray chirps excitedly. “There’s a Star Wars universe. Like – an entire dimension where Star Wars is real.”

It’s just bad luck that it happens the way it does.

Could’ve been a lot worse, Sara reflects later – there could’ve been any number of people on board, Newt, Maive, Gardner, Ratchet.  Instead, it’s just her and Rkorya in the midst of a sparring match when the rifts take the entire thing back home. 

They both tense at the sensation – Sara has an immediate, sneaking suspicion of what might’ve happened, and she wonders if Rkorya might even be able to sense it. To put both of their doubts to rest, she asks at once, “Gideon?”

Uncharacteristically, there comes a pause before she answers.  “Well, Captain Lance. It appears we’re home.”

Home. It hits Sara more strangely than she’s ever imagined, especially with Rkorya standing only meters away. Sara looks over to meet her gaze and finds a mirrored whirlwind of emotion there.

“As always, the rifts have a laughable idea of timing,” Rkorya says finally, tersely.

“Don’t panic,” Sara tells her levelly, although the more likely scenario is Rkorya taking it out on whoever’s unlucky enough to get in their way first (this is her dimension, after all, it’s only a matter of time). “– Technically, this is a good thing. We actually have dimension-jumping technology here.”

Rkorya’s eyes widen just slightly, but before she can respond, there’s a voice from somewhere outside in the bridge. 

 “Sara?”

Sara’s heart leaps in her chest, and she thinks the sudden surge of disbelief and warmth and familiarity she feels must be what keeps Rkorya from reacting too visibly. Jax.  “Looks like my crew’s found us already,” she murmurs a not-entirely-necessary warning.

“I’ll brace myself,” Rkorya responds dryly, still tense (though Sara can’t really blame her, all of this hitting her at once), eyes on the door.

“In the Cargo Bay,” Sara calls, and it’s only another moment before some of them start to file in.

“What happened?” Jax asks as he appears, oblivious to the way Sara stares at him almost disbelievingly. “We thought you left us, for a minute there –”

He cuts off as he sees Rkorya, stunned.

“Who’s this?” Amaya is quicker to demand, coming up behind him with Ray in tow. Sara thinks she ought to be grateful that it’s just the three of them, for the moment, but she’s still sort of reeling from seeing them all again. Has it really been a whole year?

Ray doesn’t manage to be quite so diplomatic, peering around Jax excitedly. “Holy smokes, is that – is that an alien?”

“Greetings,” Rkorya replies dryly, now that she can finally get a word in – though she seems to be leaving the explanation to Sara.

“Slow down, guys,” she cuts in, composing herself. “This is going to take a little bit of explaining.” 

“You think?” Jax sounds vaguely amused.

“Sara – she has a lightsaber.” Ray can’t contain himself, and Amaya furrows her brow.

“What’s a lightsaber?”

Sara thinks she might feel a migraine coming on – it’s difficult to grapple some control, when she’s fighting off so many emotions. She thinks Rkorya must feel it, because she’s been uncharacteristically understated in her reaction to all this. “I’m sure Rkorya would be happy to explain that to you,” she tells Amaya, a little wryly.

“The moment I’m allowed enough breathing room to do so,” Rkorya adds.

“Sorry.” Jax nods to her directly, though his gaze keeps flickering over to Sara. “You’re right. But we should probably call the whole team together for this.” 

The entire team occupying the same space doesn’t general equate to breathing room, Sara thinks, but she can’t deny that she’s already longing to see them all again. “Right,” she agrees finally.  “We’ve got some serious catching up to do.”

“So you were stuck in a different world,” Jax reiterates in disbelief once they’ve all assembled at the bridge. “For a year.”

“And yet, to us – it felt like mere moments!”  Stein, unsurprisingly, has been engrossed from the start of their explanation.  “Not that time discrepancies would be, theoretically, uncommon between dimensions – especially distant ones. Still… astonishing.”

Sara’s on the edge of a fond smile, in spite of herself, as Rkorya nods to him curtly. “Fortunate for all of us that was the case. I can’t imagine the chaos that would’ve unfolded otherwise.”

“But, guys – we’re skipping right over the best part of a generally sucky situation,” Ray chirps excitedly. “There’s a Star Wars universe. Like – an entire dimension where Star Wars is real.”

“Come on, man, get your priorities straight,” Nate reprimands him, which Sara is pretty sure absolutely no one is convinced by. Sure enough, he turns to Rkorya, eyes shining.  “Have you ever met anyone by the name of Indiana Jones?”

“No,” she tells him flatly, briefly glancing at Sara.  “Although I’ve already been informed of the fictional… similarities you’re apparently familiar with.”

“Multiple times, actually,” Sara adds. She hates to stamp on their excitement, but she’s also vaguely fearing for their future safety. “Seriously, guys, it’s kind of old by now.”

“Can I just hold it?” Nate eyes Rkorya’s lightsaber, ignoring the veiled warning. “Just once? Can I touch your spiky horn things?”

“Nate,” Sara snaps, annoyed now. He pauses, eyeing her sheepishly – and then falters in earnest when he sees the level, intent way Rkorya is regarding him.

“I might allow it,” she begins, tone deceptively cordial in a way Sara recognizes instantly.  “Provided you find the risk agreeable.”

“Risk?”

“You may not get your hand back afterwards.”

Mick, who up until now hasn’t contributed much to the conversation from where he’s leaning up against a wall, grins slightly.

There are situations where Sara would take a threat to one of her crew with some concern, but she registers this as casual Sith banter, by now. Nate obviously doesn’t have that background knowledge – he takes a slight step back, but Sara figures it’s good for him to learn some boundaries from the get-go.

“I think… that brings to light a more objective concern about all of this,” Stein takes the opportunity to intervene. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mick growls. “She’s speaking my language.”

“She is a Sith.” Stein ignores him, appealing to Sara directly. “Correct me if my limited knowledge of the canon is incorrect - or if it doesn’t apply to its real life equivalent - but doesn’t that mean she serves a fascist empire? That she abides by their code?”

Sara feels as much as watches the energy in the room tighten as both Rkorya and Amaya go tense. “What do you mean fascist empire –?” Amaya starts. Even Nate and Ray are starting to look uncomfortable.

“Well, actually the code of the Sith and the ideals of the Empire aren’t – mutually inclusive, necessarily –”  Ray begins to ramble, but Rkorya cuts him off heatedly.

“I can speak for myself. Do not presume to know better than someone who’s lived this, no matter how many movies you’ve watched.” She fixes him with a fierce glare for a moment longer, and then turns to address Stein.  “And I’ll remind you that I did not come to this dimension of my own accord, let alone to defend my ideals to a stranger.”

“Your ideals inherently need defending!” Amaya flares up in Stein’s defense. “Some of us have fought wars to keep people like you our of power! Or ancestors who have been persecuted and killed simply for being who they are!”

Tension bleeds through the whole room now.  Stein, Amaya, and Rkorya face off, bristling, while Jax has moved warily to Stein’s other side.  Ray and Nate seem to be trying to hold off escalating the situation, glancing nervously at Sara, but even Mick’s fingers are twitching towards his gun. Sara knows he might not have as many moral hangups here as the rest of them, but he’ll protect his teammates on principle, even if he pretends otherwise.

It’s well past time to step in. Sara - partly out of duty and partly out of a chronic disregard for self-preservation - steps between them.

“Everyone cool off.” The brunt of the order is directed towards the crew she actually leads. “We’re not wrecking the Waverider unless you want to sit around and fix it up afterwards.”

“Captain –” Stein begins crossly, but Sara holds up a hand.

“I understand,” she tells him more softly, and she does.  For all that Rkorya has become a friend - a close one - Sara has never pretended to agree with what her Empire stands for. And she knows that Stein with all his ties to his Jewish heritage, and Amaya, a veteran of World War II, have more reason to speak out than anyone. She doesn’t want to stifle them, but she also doesn’t want them to misinterpret the situation.  “I also spent years training with the League of Assassins.”

“She has a point,” Mick concedes prematurely. “She’s killed a hell of a lot of people.”

Sara shoots him a look, and he shrugs. “Not judging. I have too.”

“That’s not what I was getting at, but thanks.” She rolls her eyes and continues. “I spent years training with the League, and yeah, a lot of what I learned there was less than savory. But I also learned that when the people at the head of an organization are shit, sometimes you have to count on the people underneath them to make a difference. Rkorya’s smart. She’s competent. She cares. She spent her time in that other world making it more organized and more safe for everyone, and she managed to do that without overthrowing democracy as we know it.”

Silence greets her obvious vote of good faith, but her team is at least looking more wary now and less… stunned and mutinous.  She continues,  “Rkorya’s world needs her.  Without her, the Empire’s not going to just disappear – but believe it or not, a lot more lives will be at stake.” Here she finally turns to meet Rkorya’s gaze, and a heartbeat of grim understanding passes between them. Neither of them will ever forget what the viewer showed them on Rime (speaking of, she probably owes Rip a serious talk – but that’s an issue for another time).

At any rate, her intervention seems to be enough to convince Rkorya to lay down her metaphorical arms for the time being. When she steps up to Sara’s side, the aggression has seeped out of her stance, and the chill in the air has lightened.

“I have no desire to threaten you or your world. I merely wish to return to mine” she tells them stiffly. She tilts her head and regards Amaya more carefully. “What you spoke of – persecution, discrimination based on race, or species, or religion – if nothing else we can agree that it is both ineffective and vile. That I will fight against even within the bounds of my own Empire.”

“I’m sure that makes her feel a whole lot better,” Mick quips sarcastically, but Amaya is regarding Rkorya with a kind of somber weightedness now. Finally, she gives a curt nod – and then glances at Stein.

“Well – not all of us may be… happy about it,”  he murmurs, half-relenting. “But if the extent of our involvement is returning her to where she belongs –”

“That might be easier said than done.” Jax both looks and sounds awkward about it. “I mean, the tech we need to cross dimensions is in Central City, and we still kinda have our hands full…”

“With what?” Rkorya turns her attention on him, frowning.  

Where to even begin, Sara realizes – here she is, reunited not only with her friends (her family) but with the opportunity for revenge that she’s never quite managed to pry herself away from longing. She thinks of Damien Darhk, imagines choking the smirk off his face and the life from his lungs slowly and painfully – and has to clamp down on a fresh surge of rage before it draws attention to her.

“Right. Before I left, we were dealing with… a problem.”  She chews the inside of her cheek, remembering the speedster.  “Several problems, actually.”

She feels the carefulness with which Rkorya watches her. Maybe she’s remembering the other part of what they saw in the Rime viewer, now.  “Then, if your team would allow my assistance… I’d be all too glad to lend it.”  She glances over to the rest of them.  “It would solve all our problems that much more quickly.”

Sara stays silent, because while she appreciates Rkorya’s loyalty - and while she is the captain - she won’t force her team into an alliance they’re not comfortable with.

“Weeell, I’m all for it,” Ray speaks first, if more slowly than is typical for him. “I mean, let’s face it. With all of time and thus… reality potentially at stake, we could use all the extra firepower we can get.”

“She seems badass.” Nate sounds more comfortable voicing his support in Ray’s wake. “I’m just hoping I come out of this with all my limbs intact.”

Mick grunts noncommittally, only deciding to expound when Sara shoots him a questioning glance. “Whatever. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it. I don’t care who we drag along as long as I get to burn something.”

While not exactly reassuring, it’s about what Sara expected from him. She nods, and turns to the remaining three – whose opinions she’s also the most uncertain of.

Jax, for his part, looks slowly from her to Rkorya, and then back.  He’s practically her second in command, and more than that, his voice is one she’s come to depend on for its compassion and objectivity (sometimes she lacks both). “If Sara trusts her,” he says finally, simply. “Then so do I.”

She exhales quietly. She’d forgotten up until this moment, she realizes, how much his opinion means to her.

“Jefferson… makes a valid point,” Stein admits tersely. “That you are willing to vouch for her – I suppose I should have taken that into consideration from the beginning, Captain Lance.”  

He frowns at Rkorya directly in the next moment, none the less. “But that does not mean I agree with – with what you serve. Or that I ever will.”

Rkorya inclines her head, eyes narrowed slightly.  “Fortunately such matters are irrelevant to a temporary alliance,” she replies, just as terse.

Amaya seems resigned to being outvoted – she doesn’t voice her assent, but she unfolds her arms, frowning.  “I’ll be keeping an eye on you,” she tells Rkorya shortly – and leaving it there, stalks off to some other part of the ship, head held high.

Sara thinks she should make a point of going after her sooner rather than later. Amaya’s still one of their newer members, after all, and the last thing she wants is to make her feel more alienated than she already might. For the moment, though, the team takes that as their cue to disperse and tend to their usual pre-takeoff preparations. She leans back against the console, waiting for them to leave her alone with Rkorya for a moment – so she’s a little surprised when Jax pauses on his way out and pulls her into a careful hug.

She tenses briefly, and then leans into him, wrapping her arms loosely around his shoulders. “It’s only been like, five minutes for you, nerd.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “But for you it’s been a lot longer.”

After a year away, Sara hadn’t realized she needed this. Apparently, though, Jax has.

She finally pulls away, and he lets her, giving Rkorya a short nod before heading off himself. It’s Ray who stops next, grinning lopsidedly at Sara, but she can tell what he’s really there for. It’s an effort not to smirk a little as Rkorya begins to look dubious.

“Listen – I just wanted to say –” Ray fumbles a little, not uncharacteristically. “Well, I know they’re just movies to you, but to me – those stories were what gave me hope, as a kid. Hell, they’re what inspired a lot of my work.”

“Your work?” Rkorya looks him over skeptically.

“He’s our inventor,” Sara informs her, allowing herself a private (and a damn good one).

“I dunno, just… a world where people can cross the stars? With all this incredible technology at their fingertips, where you get to make these… big, defining choices about who and what you want to be…” Ray looks embarrassed for a moment as they watch him ramble on. “What I’m trying to say is, well – it means a lot. Getting to meet you.”

Sara knows Rkorya well enough to read the minute surprise in her expression, even as it flickers and is gone within the next second.  “Well, if you have been as inspired as you claim…  perhaps I’ll have a look at some of these inventions myself. Should we get the opportunity.”

“Really?” Ray’s whole face lights up.  “Because I would love your input on my suit’s weapons systems – oh, and I’ve been tinkering with this… lightsaber-esque design? I say ‘esque’ because I can’t exactly mimic –”

“Ray,”  Sara cuts in patiently, and he clears his throat.

“Right. Right! Later.” He actually fingerguns Rkorya as he starts to back away, and she has to repress another sigh. “I will see you both… later.”

The bridge finally empties out, and Sara and Rkorya are left to share a moment of silence alone.

“You certainly didn’t undersell them,” Rkorya finally breaks it, and Sara’s lips twitch.

“They’re… a handful.” She doesn’t even try to hide the statement’s affectionate edge.  “And for a team of superheroes, they don’t really tend to warm up to people quickly, so an initial disaster was probably inevitable. But! With that out of the way…” 

“We’ll be fast friends, I’m sure,” Rkorya finishes for her dryly, though she also sounds a little amused.

“Mostly, anyway.” There’s no promising that Stein and Amaya will come around, if Sara knows them, but you can’t win every battle. She pauses, bracing herself for more earnest sincerity. “…But, thank you. For saying you’ll help. I promise, we’ll get you home as soon as we can.”

“They’re your people,” Rkorya replies simply, turning to meet her gaze. “That alone is enough to make them worth prioritizing.”

It means more than Sara knows how to say – but the nice thing, at this point, is that she doesn’t really have to say it. If they’d been in Rkorya’s world, with Rkorya’s crew, she likes to think she’d feel the same way.

“Well,” she says finally, bracing herself for a ride (in more ways than one), “Let’s get this show on the road.”

#numinousbones #i was really tempted to try and fit in some arrow cast interactions but it didnt quite work out with the pacing #maybe next time.... #feat. ray being a nerd rkorya being next level done and sara and jax being Siblings #also this is probably my longest gift fic because i love throwing people at these assholes

[no-pucks-given]

TYSON JOST | LIGHT MY WAY HOME

A/N: More than 12.000 words later, more than a month after the initial request from Taylor popped up in my notifications. What a freaking ride. My longest fic I've ever written, and maybe even my favourite one. Thank you, to everyone who hyped me up, send me inspo and send me sweet asks. I couldn't have done this without all of you. Special thanks to @dumb-and-dunner, @chicagoblackhawkslover96, @heybarzy and Chrissy (who doesn't have Tumblr unfortunately).

Warnings: Angst, ‘can I strangle him yet?’ Tyson, swearwords, some major character development and (how could I not?!) a happy ending.

Also: Gabe and Melissa Landeskog play a big part in this fic, so if you aren't comfortable with them, you might want to skip this one.

Word Count: 12.1K

Requested: Yes.

The NHL lifestyle, or the ‘popular’ lifestyle was attractive to all young, hormonal boys. You’d known that for a long time. You stood by Tyson’s side when he got drafted into the wicked world of the NHL. Parties, drinking, sex, training until you can barely move, fights, games, wins and losses. It all had it’s charms, but it also had its dangers. Just like any other guy Tyson wanted to experience it all, the whole package,

You assumed you fell under that ‘whole package’, you were his girlfriend for a reason, right? And you did, for a while. You partied together, came home together, did everything together. But the moment Tyson became older and ‘known’ outside the regular hockey fans, that title didn’t mean much anymore. He became more and more the type of guy you didn’t fall in love with, the type to take you for granted, the type to enjoy the attention of other people, other women in particular. You weren’t the jealous type, you didn’t want to claw out the eyes of every woman that looked at him, but you were at a breaking point. Maybe you were jealous, you weren’t jealous of those other women, you were jealous of the attention Tyson gave them. Attention he should’ve been giving to you, his freaking girlfriend.

You were however the loyal type, the type to come home after a long night. And that’s exactly where things went wrong with Tyson. While you were waiting for him at home with a meal, a warm bed or just simply anything else, he was out. You had no idea where he was exactly, he was simply ‘out’, whatever that might mean. You tried to talk to him, you tried to make him see that this wouldn’t end well for either of you, but he simply waved off your concerns, shrugged his shoulders and moved on.

How do you talk to someone who rediscovered himself? How do you talk to someone who thinks he’s on top of the world? How do you save someone from the downfall of success when they don’t want to be saved? You knew one day he’ll come down from this high, one day he’ll realize that he screwed up. One day he’ll come to the conclusion he let something special slip through his fingers, and for what? Fame? Drinks? A rush of adrenaline? One day. But you knew that it wouldn’t be today.

However today is the day that you’re done. Absolutely fed up with all the bullshit excuses Tyson has been feeding you, all the coming home late or not even coming home at all. You have no idea what he’s been up to these last months, he’s barely home. Even when he’s home it’s like he isn’t really there. You can’t even remember the last time the two of you slept together or the last time you actually went to bed at the same time. Breakfast together? A lifetime ago. A lazy day together? Can’t remember. Date night? Months, months ago. Even thinking about it pisses you off to no end, the pain and hurt slowly making place for a new emotion: anger.

It’s frustrating to say the least. You love and take care of him like he means the world to you, and he does. Tyson on the other hand seems to take you for granted, or forgets you’re here at all. It seems like you’re talking to a brick wall instead of your boyfriend. No matter how hard you try, your words have no impact, your tears don’t make him feel anything. It’s like he’s a totally different person. You barely recognize him anymore these days, he feels like a stranger inside the body of the man you love. It feels like you’re both living your life, besides each other instead of with each other. It hurts, that’s for sure.

Like any other day you’ve prepared dinner, put it on the table and sat down on one of the chairs. All you can do now is wait, wait and pray he’ll show up this time. You even texted him, begged him to come home and simply eat dinner with you for a change. Of course you didn’t get a response, of course it’s complete radio silence from his side. God, you were desperate at this point, you don’t even try to deny it.

With every passing minute your hope disappears little by little. You stare at the food on the table until it’s completely dark outside, no sign of Tyson. Hours passed and you barely noticed it, it isn’t until you try to stand up and your muscles ache from sitting in the same position for a long time that you realize how much time actually has passed. “Fuck this, why am I even trying anymore?” you mutter to yourself, shaking your head. This isn’t worth it, it hasn’t been for a long time. Maybe, just maybe you’re finally ready to admit it to yourself.

Deciding to choose yourself over Tyson is a major decision, one you probably should’ve made sooner. It doesn’t matter, what does matter is that you’re choosing you now. You make the split second decision to just grab your stuff, just the necessary stuff. You remember Gabe’s offer, at the time you waved it off with a smile, pretending it wasn’t as bad as it might look to the outside world, but now? You want nothing more than to take him up on his offer. So what’s stopping you?

Even though you were excruciating calm this whole time, the moment you step into your bedroom, or Tyson’s bedroom, you break. This is real, this is really happening. You grab your bags, filling them with some of your stuff. Some clothes, some toiletries, your makeup, everything you might need. It’s a tough job, it’s even harder when you almost can’t see past the tears. At some point you lose track of things you did and didn’t grab, just shoving random items into your bag.

You let out a frustrated sigh, your body sinking down on the floor. In your hands the box containing all your high school love letters, all the small gifts you made each other. Tyson was quite handy, who would’ve thought that? You smile at the memories, sorting through the box. You frown at the feeling surging through your body, is this how heartbreak feels? Looking down at the contents of the box you sigh, wiping away the tears streaming down your face. Why couldn’t life be as simple as it used to be? It shouldn’t be this hard, right? You grab your prom picture between your fingers, smiling sadly at the two people in the picture, both smiling like they just won the lottery, both utterly in love with the other. How time can change..

You throw the box on the bed, maybe it will remind Tyson what the two of you had was special, maybe he’ll realize what he’s about to lose. If it doesn’t, well, it’s his loss. Hauling your bags downstairs is a full workout, you intended to bring ‘just the essentials’ but you have way more important stuff than you originally thought. You aren’t planning on returning to this house any time soon.

Shutting the car door after you loaded in your stuff gives you some form of relief. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in. You made your decision, it’s time to follow through now. You make your way back inside, and into the kitchen. Cleaning up all leftovers from dinner, which obviously is a lot more than you expected. Although.. did you really think he would show up? You shake your head again, putting the leftovers into the fridge. After you finish the dishes you retreat back to the living room, falling down on the couch with a loud sigh. All you can do now is wait.

You could’ve just left and never look back, but that isn’t your style. If you’re going to leave, you’ll do it the right way. You won’t leave without giving him a piece of mind, letting him know he fucked this up for good. You try to focus on the movie playing on the screen, but your heart keeps beating harder and harder, at this point you wish you would’ve just left instead of waiting for Tyson to show up. God, why did you have to do it the right way? Because you know, deep down, you would’ve wanted him to do it the same way. It’s the humane thing to do, it’s only right after spending such a long time together.

The front door opening brings you out of your thoughts. Honestly you don’t even know what time it is, but frankly you don’t care. All you want right now is to get this off your chest and leave. Tyson’s eyes widen when he comes face-to-face with you, surprisingly he doesn’t seem that intoxicated. You suspected he went out, but at this point he could’ve been anywhere.

“You’re still up,” Tyson says, walking past you and flopping down on the couch.

“Yep, and you missed dinner,” you counter, crossing your arms. Tyson simply shrugs his shoulder, clearly not caring enough to explain his absence. “I texted you to make sure you would be here,” you say, even though you know it doesn’t make a difference.

“Yeah, I was busy,” Tyson answers, looking down at his phone.

You almost feel the need to chuckle, to start laughing at his stupid behavior, but this is anything but funny to you, it fucking hurts. “I’m done, Tyson. I’m fucking done,” you say, shaking your head, trying so hard to keep the tears away.

Tyson looks at you with dull eyes, no emotion visible on his face. “Then go to fucking bed, I really can’t deal with your problems right now,” he sighs, turning his head back to the phone in his hand.

Right now, at this moment you know you made the right decision. This isn’t behavior of someone who’s in love, this isn’t even behavior of someone who loves. “You don’t have to deal with me anymore, because I’m leaving. I’m done, we’re done,” you tell him, emphasizing the last part. Tyson’s eyes shoot to yours, the panic clearly written all over his face now.

“No, we’re not. You can’t break up with me, y/n!” he almost shouts at you, standing up from the couch.

“Yes, I can and I will. You don’t get to act like you care all of the sudden, Tyson. You haven’t acted like a boyfriend in months. You haven’t given me any reason to stay, so I won’t. I’m done with whatever this is,” you say, waving between the two of you. Tyson grabs your wrist, tears starting to pool in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off. “No. No. You don’t get to do this. It’s over. You put on quite a show, but I can’t say it was very entertaining. This curtain fucking closes right now, show is over. You can act like you care, but I know by now that you don’t,” you tell him, ripping your arm out of his grip.

You walk over to the front door, keeping your head high. Now is not the time to break down, your time will come. You hear Tyson behind you, muttering how sorry he is, excuse after excuse leave his mouth. You open the door, turning around one last time to look at Tyson. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry, ‘cause you’re not,” you say while shaking your head. You close the door behind you, not looking back at what you’ve left behind, only looking forward to what’s yet to come.

It’s when you’re in your car mindlessly driving around when you realize you have nowhere to go. You forgot to call Gabe, and it’s probably way too late now. You quickly check the time, 2am, shit that’s late. You doubt he’s still awake, you feel bad for even thinking about waking him up. Two young children, both of them under the age of 2, and being a professional hockey player probably cost him enough energy already, you don’t need to add to that. “He did say I could always call him when I made my decision,” you say out loud, more to convince yourself that it’s okay than anything else.

You easily find Gabe’s contact, immediately pressing the dial button before you change your mind again. The line only rings twice before Gabe picks up. “I’m guessing you either finally broke up with him or there’s a fire somewhere,” Gabe says from the other side of the line. You chuckle, shaking your head. “And since you’re calling me and not the fire department, my guess is on the first one,” Gabe continues, trying to make you smile some more.

“I did it, I broke up with him, couldn’t stand to be there any second longer,” you sigh, brushing your fingers through your hair.

You hear Gabe’s sigh of relief. “I’m proud of you, y/n. I know this isn’t what you had in mind, but it’s better like this, I promise.”

Gabe turned into one of your best friends over time, Melissa is the older sister you never had and you love their children like they’re your own. Gabe and Melissa welcomed you into their family immediately after meeting you. You hadn’t expected to make friends and you definitely didn’t expect to make friends with the captain and his wife, but you’re so grateful you did. The support you receive from them is overwhelming, you couldn’t wish for better friends. So when Gabe first made you this offer, you were thankful he did, although you were still convinced at that point that Tyson would change.

“Uhm, you know.. that offer you made me? Is that still on the table?” you ask, praying he’ll say ‘yes’, praying you don’t have to sleep in some random hotel tonight.

“Of course, the guestroom is already prepared. Melissa expects you to be here as soon as possible, apparently she ‘really needs to cuddle her little sister’,” Gabe chuckles, you can almost hear him rolling his eyes at his wife.

“Thank you, Gabe. I owe you,” you say softly.

“You don’t. You’re family, y/n,” Gabe says, and you know he means every word he just said. Family. “Now get your ass over here, before Melissa starts a search party,” Gabe chuckles, making you laugh some more, because you know she would. You quickly say your goodbyes, promising you’ll be there in a few minutes. It’s just a short drive from your apartment, or Tyson’s apartment now, to Gabe and Mel’s place.

You kept up your appearance, keeping the tears at bay, but the moment you step out of your car and into Gabe’s arms you’re done. “Come here, I’m so sorry,” Gabe says softly, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

You stand there for a few minutes, simply crying on your best friend’s shoulder, until Melissa squeezes herself between the two of you. “Hush, I need some sister time. Why don’t you grab her stuff?” she says, smiling sweetly at her husband.

Gabe sighs dramatically, sending a wink your way. “Whatever you say, wife.”

Melissa pulls you close to her, an arm around your waist, her head resting on your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll show you your room,” she softly says, leading you into the house. You’ve been here so many times already, but never like this. You’ve never been in a situation like this before, you’re not sure how to handle this. “I can hear the wheels turning in your head. It will be okay,” Melissa says, rubbing your arm soothingly. You sigh, shrugging your shoulders, not sure what to say.

Melissa leads you to your room, pushing you down on the bed, while she takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “I know you’re probably exhausted, but do you want to talk?” Melissa asks softly, her face showing nothing but compassion.

You lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about all that has happened. “I don’t even know what to say, Mel. I don’t even know how I feel right now. I’m just so...” you trail off, not knowing the right words to describe everything that you feel and think right now.

“Confused, relieved, mad?”

You sit back up, looking back at Melissa. “All of the above, I guess? It hurts, but I’m glad I did it. But I also regret it, because I love him, you know? I’m mad he didn’t try harder for me, for us,” you say, trying hard to keep the rush of tears away.

Melissa wraps her arms around you, pulling you close to her. “I know, sweetheart. It will take time, but you’re going to be okay.”

You sigh, knowing she’s right, even though it probably will take more time than just ‘some time’. You did just end a long relationship, it will take a lot of patience and time to work through that. “Thank you, Mel. For letting me stay here,” you mumble against Melissa’s shoulder.

“No need for that. You’re my sister, remember?” Melissa smiles at you.

Gabe softly knocks on the door before opening the door. “Brought your bags, thought you might need them before you go to sleep,” he says, smiling at the sight before him. Your friendship might be unconventional, but he couldn’t care less what other people think about it. Gabe absolutely adores the sister bond you and Mel share, he hoped the two of you would get along, so this? Picture perfect.

“Thanks, Gabe,” you smile at him.

“Do you mind if I steal my wife from you?” Gabe asks, making you and Melissa laugh out loud.

“Nope, she’s all yours,” you chuckle, waving at their retreating backs when they walk out of the room.

You strip out of your clothes, pulling on a sweater. You sigh, realizing you packed some of Tyson’s sweaters out of habit. His smell infiltrates your senses, making it damn hard to keep your emotions under control. It’s right this moment you know exactly how you feel. Heartbroken. The realization that your relationship with Tyson is really over doesn’t give you the satisfaction you hoped for, it doesn’t give you peace, it just fucking hurts. You simply feel hollow, even though deep down you know this was the right choice, this was what needed to happen. You know damn well why you feel so empty, you gave your heart to Tyson a long, long time ago, never expecting to be in a situation you might get it back. You don’t want it back, but you might need it back.

You realize it’s morning when the light softly shines into your room. You sigh, knowing damn well you’re lucky if you slept more than an hour this night. Rolling over you look at the clock on the wall, 9 am, perfect. Deciding it won’t do you any good if you stay in bed any longer, you force yourself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water warms your cold skin, soothing your sore muscles. All the twisting and turning you did all night surely didn’t help the way you feel right now. Why couldn’t life be a bit easier by simply letting the shower wash away all of your hurt, all of your pain? A fresh start, a clean slate.

You slip on some skinny jeans and a soft sweater, not in the mood to even think about doing your makeup. You dry your hair, before making a quick ponytail out of it. You walk down stairs, the chatter and laughter greeting you as soon as you walk into the kitchen. “Morning, guys,” you say, smiling at all the happy faces before you. A round of greetings sound throughout the room.

“How’d you sleep?” Gabe asks you as soon as you sit down next to him with a bowl of cereal.

“Can’t even tell you, suddenly it was 9 am,” you chuckle, shrugging your shoulders at Gabe’s raised eyebrow. “Do you have any idea where my phone is?” you ask Gabe, knowing he grabbed all your stuff out of your car.

“Uhh, I do, but I don’t know if you really want to look at it,” Gabe says, scratching the back of his head before pointing towards the kitchen counter. It’s your turn to raise your eyebrows, walking over to where Gabe’s pointing at.

You unlock your phone, quickly checking your notifications. “Oh damn,” you mutter, looking at the absurd amount of missed calls and messages left by none other than Tyson himself.

You sit back down next to Gabe, dropping your head on your arms. “What do I do now, Gabe?” you groan. “Why does he care all of the sudden?”

Gabe rubs his hand over your back before answering your question. “Because he lost you, y/n. He never thought he would.” You turn your head towards Gabe letting his words sink in.

Gabe gets ready to leave for practice shortly after you settle on the couch with Lucas in your arms. The little man has a fascination with your hair, maybe it’s all babies who have that, but you like to think that you’re special. “Don’t pull out all y/n’s hair, baby boy,” Gabe chuckles, giving his boy a soft kiss on his head. He gives you a kiss on your cheek, softly squeezing your shoulder. You open your mouth to say something, but Gabe cuts you off. “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry about it, I’m his captain, but I’m your friend, okay? Just relax, make sure Lucas doesn’t puke on you and go do whatever it is that you women do all day,” Gabe chuckles, knowing you better than you know yourself. You mouth a quick ‘thank you’ to him, wishing him good luck with practice before he runs through the house trying to find his girls to kiss them goodbye.

“Your daddy is a good guy, you know that, Lucas?” you smile at the baby on your lap. Lucas coos, his hands grabbing onto the strands of your hair. “Your daddy and mommy make me feel so loved, even though their children like to see me in pain,” you joke, trying to free your hair from Lucas’s small hands. “Buddy, you’re way stronger than you look,” you mumble, when Lucas pulls on your hair again.

Melissa laughs out loud the moment she walks into the living room. “How many times did I tell you that you need to keep your hair away from him and his grabby hands?” she says, expertly freeing your hair from her son’s fists.

“Apparently not enough times,” you chuckle at her. Melissa joins you on the couch, while Linnea Rae plays on the ground with some of her toys, happily showing you what she got every now and then. It’s times like this that you’re extra grateful for Melissa and Gabe, the way they welcomed you into their family has been nothing but perfect.

“So, what’s going through that pretty head of yours?” Melissa asks, while scrolling through series to watch on Netflix.

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know, I’m kind of worried about practice, I think? I don’t want to put Gabe in this position,” you say, keeping your eyes on Lucas.

“You know Gabe would do anything for you, huh? You don’t know how many times he came home utterly frustrated by the way Tyson treated you. He never said anything, because you were still with him, I can’t promise you he will stay quiet this time,” Melissa says, squeezing your shoulder. “He’ll be fine, this isn’t Gabe’s first rodeo.”

You look at Melissa, who simply gives you a wink. “I know, I know. I just don’t want him to get in trouble or anything,” you say, smiling back at her. You trust and know Gabe, so hopefully there won’t be a lot of trouble today.

“If he does though, he probably deserves it.”

Gabe surprises you all with some takeaway when he gets home from practice. It’s been nice eating with other people for change, it’s been way too long. The amount of lonely dinners has been through the roof lately. Gabe nudges you with his elbow, causing you to look up at him. “No frowning at the table.”

Melissa rolls her eyes at her husband while you just stick out your tongue at him. “Sure, dad,” you say, causing Melissa to almost choke on her bite of food before she lets out a loud laugh.

“Yeah, dad. Leave us alone,” Melissa laughs, winking at her husband. Gabe shakes his head at you and Melissa, a grin plastered on his face.

It’s during dessert you find the courage to ask about Tyson. You weren’t sure if you needed to ask Gabe, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to know anything, but now you know you do. “So, did anything happen during practice?” you ask him, playing around with your spoon.

Gabe shakes his head, giving you a small smile. “Not much, just some chirping. Told him I’m his captain and he needs to fucking focus on practice. That seemed to do the trick,” Gabe says, shrugging his shoulders, continuing to eat his dessert.

You look across the table at Melissa who has the same expression on her face as you. Not convincing at all. ‘Sure,’ Melissa mouths at you from across the table. You shake your head at her, furrowing your eyebrows at Gabe’s statement. ‘Nope,’ you mouth back at her, finishing your dessert. You decide to let it go, you don’t even know why you care so much. You shouldn’t, right? You broke things off with Tyson, so why do you care so much what he does and thinks? The answer to that question is pretty simple the longer you think about it. Because you still love him, that’s why.

You thank everyone for dinner and dessert, promising to cook something from them later this week. Right now all you can think about is your bed and a decent night of sleep. God, that sounds like a true dream right now. You strip out of your clothes, crawling into the soft and cozy bed. It doesn’t take long before you fall asleep, showing just how exhausted you truly are.

The weeks that follow are filled with all kinds of activities, the 5 of you falling back into a comfortable rhythm, surprising you considering the situation you’re in. It isn’t every day you take in the ex-girlfriend of one of your teammates, or your best friend, whatever way you want to see things. When you aren’t working you spend a lot of time with the kids, trying to make things easier for Melissa and Gabe whenever they are busy or simply need some time for the two of them. You happily take on some of their care, even if it’s as simple as making sure they get their food in time. Honestly they are two of the sweetest children you’ve ever come across, they always find ways to make you laugh, even though most of the time it isn’t on purpose.

It’s been quiet around the house tonight, Melissa went out with a few of her friends, while she left Gabe and the kids with you. Apparently she needed some ‘alone time’ which didn’t include kids, and definitely didn’t include Gabe after he mentioned he wanted some ‘alone time’ with her as well. You love their friendly bickering, the love they have for each other visible in everything they do. So when Melissa gave her husband a dirty look and flipped him the bird the only logical thing to do was to start laughing at their exchange. “Have fun with them, sweetheart!” Melissa had yelled at you when she walked through the door, leaving the four of you behind.

Together you decide to just have a movie night. It’s late enough for both children to be asleep already, yet early enough to squeeze in a full size movie marathon. “Gladiatorrrrr!” Gabe exclaims excitedly while scrolling through the movie selection on Netflix, pausing on his all-time favorite movie.

You groan, covering your face with your hands. “Please no, have mercy, Gabe,” you laugh, knowing damn well you’re going to sit through this movie again. How many times has it been already? 12? You wouldn’t even be surprised. This dude really loves his movie. You look at Gabe from between your fingers, seeing the look on his face which makes you groan even more. “Fineeee, one more time, Gabe. One more time,” you whine at him, secretly enjoying his taste in movies, something you don’t plan on telling him ever.

It’s a little after 10pm when the doorbell rings. You look at Gabe, who looks just as surprised as you are. “It’s a bit early for Mel, don’t you think?” Gabe asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Definitely, unless she drank the whole bottle of champagne again,” you chuckle, thinking back at one of the craziest parties you’ve ever been to with Mel and Gabe.

“Oh God, please don’t remind me of that,” Gabe shudders at the memory of that night, standing up to see who’s on the other side of the door.

Gabe hates to say that he isn’t surprised to see Tyson’s face as soon as he opens the door. Honestly he had expected him at his door days, maybe even weeks ago. The moment Tyson found out you were staying with Gabe he broke, Gabe expected him to fight, to yell, to scream, he expected him to do anything except cry. Which is exactly what Tyson did, breaking down in the middle of practice. For a moment the whole place went quiet, only Tyson’s cries echoing throughout the building. No one knew how to act, no one knew what to do, until Gabe realized he’s the captain for a reason. On and off the ice. It was a weird experience, one Gabe still feels extremely conflicted about. He comforted his teammate, his friend, while his other friend was at his home, utterly heartbroken, trying to get over the guy who was bawling his eyes out on the ice.

After Tyson got over the initial shock the anger took over, just as Gabe expected. It made him almost drop the gloves, something he tried to avoid, not wanting to hurt Tyson. He let him say his things, things that absolutely didn’t make any sense, until he got everything out of his system. “Now can we continue this fucking practice, Jost?” Gabe told him after everything calmed down. Gabe tried to avoid the Tyson/y/n topic as much as possible after that, not wanting to get in the middle of things more than he already was. Until tonight apparently.

Gabe raises an eyebrow at the boy before him. “Why are you here, Tyson?” Gabe sighs, already knowing the answer to that question.

Tyson looks around, eyes flickering from left to right, clearly uncomfortable being here. “I, uh, can I talk to y/n? I know she’s here,” Tyson asks, scratching the back of his head before putting them back in his pockets.

Gabe shakes his head at him. “You can’t, if she wants to talk to you she will find a way to contact you. As long as you don’t get your shit together and prove to me, but most of all to her, that you’ve changed, I won’t let you anywhere near her,” Gabe declares, starting to get annoyed with the way Tyson acts. There’s no way he lets him close to you until you feel like you’re ready to see him again, no way.

Tyson opens his mouth, but Gabe gives him a look that immediately shuts him up again. “I’m saying this as your captain, and definitely not as your friend right now. Go home and leave her the fuck alone. You had your chance, you fucked up and now you have to deal with the consequences. How you deal with those said consequences is up to you, but I suggest you leave now and think about everything you did and didn’t do, okay?” Tyson nods his head, turning around to walk back to his car.

When he’s a few steps away from his car he turns around, smiling sadly at Gabe. “She’s my home, Gabe. Home doesn’t feel the same without her. You out of all people should understand that.”

Gabe chuckles low, shaking his head at his clueless teammate. “I do. I do know what home feels like, but I never, never choose anyone or anything over my ‘home’. Never. You sure as hell did, time after time,” Gabe says frustratedly, before shutting the door, leaving behind an even more frustrated Tyson.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you caught the sound of Tyson’s voice when you walked to the kitchen, grabbing some more popcorn. You didn’t mean to listen to their conversation, but it felt like you were glued to your place, unable to take another step, unable to do anything but listen.

Gabe walks back into the room, the look on your face immediately letting him know you know. “How much did you hear?” he asks softly, approaching you slowly.

“Enough,” you whisper, before breaking down, no longer able to keep the tears locked away, no longer able to keep your emotions to yourself.

With two steps Gabe is in front of you, grabbing the bowl of popcorn you held onto between your trembling fingers. He guides you back to the couch, urging you to sit down, which is a true challenge for someone who can barely feel the ground they walk on. Gabe wraps his arms around you the moment you sit down, allowing you to cry onto his shoulder as much as you want and need. He whispers sweet nothings while softly brushing your hair out of your face, making sure you have room to breath. Time after time Gabe proves what kind of friend he is, always making sure to be there for you when he’s needed, always doing things with the best intentions. Even if it’s just holding you until you calm down, even if it’s just speaking the truth against Tyson, even if it’s just simply being there for one another.

“Sooner or later he would’ve realized what he lost, what he gave up for an evening of clubbing or God knows what. Apparently it’s sooner rather than later, however make sure you make him work for it, if you ever decide you want to give the two of you another chance,” Gabe softly advises you, when you finally calmed down a bit.

“I will, you know I love him, Gabe. But I don’t know if I should?” you mumble, not sure if it’s a question Gabe has the answer to.

“Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. If he’s serious about you, he will work his ass off to earn back your love and trust, I promise you,” Gabe comforts you, after knowing Tyson for so long he’s positive he knows that Tyson goes above and beyond to get what he wants in life.

Maybe it’s Gabe’s comforting words, maybe it’s knowing deep down Tyson still cares, maybe it’s your own strength, but for the first time in a while you feel a tiny flicker of hope, a little bit of light at the end of the dark tunnel. Maybe, just maybe this was all worth it, maybe this is what needed to happen to get better and move forward. Maybe this is how it was supposed to go.

It’s a weird feeling, knowing your ex still cares about you, but also knowing you aren’t ready to let him back into your life like that. You don’t feel like you’re capable of seeing him yet, let alone talk to him. The need to know how he’s doing, how he’s holding up grows, but also confuses you. It’s simply a weird and confusing situation to be in. Choosing between two, maybe even more ways to handle this, while also waiting for Tyson to make a move, which he obviously can’t since you don’t want to see him or speak to him, is a hard task. A task that will require a lot of thinking. You just need a bit more time to gather your thoughts, give all of your confusing feelings a place, while making sure you put yourself first, you need to put yourself first this time.

So when Gabe invites you to one of his home games a few weeks later you say ‘yes’ right away. It seems like the perfect time and place to see Tyson from a distance again, without putting too much stress on yourself, you can just watch and enjoy the game, you don’t have to force anything. Of course your seats turned out to be way closer to the ice than you expected them to be, although... what did you exactly expect with Gabe? You know he’s been talking to both of you, kind of acting like some sort of messenger. He tried to keep it casual, just slipping in some information during a conversation, but you noticed what he was trying to do. Frankly you’re thankful for his meddling.

Steadily your heart starts to beat faster and faster the more players appear on the ice to warm up. When Gabe appears you aren’t surprised to see Tyson close to him, knowing Gabe they probably had a little chat before they went on the ice. Tyson’s eyes shoot to yours the moment he’s close by, completely forgetting the ability to skate. You gasp when he lands on his ass on the ice, earning himself a round of laughter from the people around him, including Melissa and you. Gabe skates over to him, extending his hand and helping him upright again, but not before clearly telling him he’s ‘a dumbass’. Now that’s something you can agree on.

You know Tyson has something up his sleeve when he skates off to the bench, clearly busying himself with something you can’t see. After a few more stolen glances at each other Tyson skates closer and closer to you, until he’s right in front of the glass. His left hand catches your attention, until he gives you a small and almost shy smile. “Look at him, he’s blushing!” Melissa whispers next to you. You shoot her a quick ‘shut up’ look, before you focus your attention back on Tyson.

Tyson shows you the puck in his gloved hand, mouthing to you to catch it. It takes him two tries before the puck lands on the other side of the glass, safely in your hands. Tyson gives you one last quick smile before he skates off to get ready for the game. Melissa nudges you softly, bringing you back from your thoughts. “So, what’s on there?” she asks, knowing damn well you haven’t even checked.

“I don’t know if I want to look, Mel,” you tell her honestly. Melissa gives you a sad smile, throwing her arm around your shoulders.

“Let’s look together?” she suggests. You don’t know why you’re so nervous, how much can you actually write on a puck? He seemed happy to see you, so there’s no need to be nervous that it’s a bad thing. You look at the puck, turning it around in your hands so you can read the whole thing. ‘Talk after the game?’ is written on the puck, you immediately recognize Tyson’s handwriting and his little smiley face, or.. something that should resemble a smiley face.

“That wasn’t that bad, right?” Melissa asks softly, squeezing your shoulder.

“What if I’m not ready?” you ask her, a question that has been on your mind a lot lately.

“Then you take a step back, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, you don’t have any obligations. But he’s trying, y/n. You’ve heard all of Gabe’s stories, you’ve seen it yourself just now. It can’t hurt to at least talk to him.” You think about Melissa’s words, she does have a point there. Talking is something you should’ve done ages ago, or at least Tyson should’ve done that. So this is progress, he’s at least trying this time, that’s more than he used to do.

It’s hard to keep the smile off your face, you can’t even pinpoint why exactly you’re smiling. Whatever the reason is, it’s a good feeling to smile again. The game sure as hell plays a big part in it, the guys are on fire, scoring goal after goal, never giving the puck away for long. There’s barely any time for you to give Tyson a thumbs up, indicating you’re up for a talk after the game. Whenever you look at Tyson when he’s off the ice he’s smiling, whether it is to himself or to one of his teammates, that smile won’t leave his face.

You follow Melissa down to the locker room after the game is over. You’ve done this so many times, but this time it couldn’t be more different. You greet all the girls who are patiently waiting on their man, getting enough comforting words from them to last you a lifetime. When the door to the locker room opens you come face-to-face with Mikko, someone you haven’t seen in a while. Mikko’s face lights up when he spots you outside the locker room. “y/n! I haven’t seen you in so long,” he says, while hugging you tightly.

“I missed you too, goof. It’s great to see you,” you smile at him, wiggling out of his iron grip. Dude’s definitely stronger than he looks.

“Between you and me, Tyson’s a good kid, he just needed to grow up a bit,” Mikko whispers against your ear, before leaving you alone again.

You raise your eyebrow at Melissa, who just shrugs her shoulders. Weird. After a few more minutes Gabe and Tyson appear in front of you, both of them joking around. Tyson nervously looks around, not sure if he should come any closer. Gabe hugs you swiftly before throwing his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Make sure you bring her home safely, Jost,” Gabe warns him, before quickly saying goodbye to both of you.

You watch them leave, your mouth agape by the way they just left you here. Rude. “Did they just really do that?” you ask no one in particular, still shocked by their actions.

You turn around, looking back at Tyson, who still appears to be nervous. Is he nervous to talk to you? Why would he be nervous? It’s just you. “Hi there,” you smile, looking up at the man in front of you.

“Hi beautiful, it was nice seeing you tonight,” Tyson softly says, giving you a small smile.

Your insides flutter with his use of words, it’s nice hearing them even though you’re not completely sure if he means them the way you hope he does. “It was. You played great, I had a lot of fun,” you say, smiling at the proud look that crosses Tyson’s face for a moment.

Tyson leads you back to the rink, which is now completely deserted, thinking it would be a nice place to chat. For a while the two of you fall back into small talk, ‘how’s life?’, ‘how’s work?’, all that bullshit. You know Tyson and you are avoiding the actual topic that needs to be discussed, or topics? Whatever it is, there’s a lot to talk about. “I missed it here, I forgot how much I loved being here,” you tell Tyson, looking at the lights that lighten up the place, thinking back at the memories full of fun and happiness you both created here.

“I missed you, baby,” Tyson blurts out, completely catching you off guard.

Your eyes shoot back to his, you feel the panic rising inside your body. “Tyson...,” you start, warning him he’s walking on thin ice here.

Tyson’s face falls a bit, seeing the anxious look on your face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Tyson groans, rubbing his face harshly, utterly frustrated with himself and the situation.

It’s quiet for a minute, both of you completely lost in thoughts. “Why is this so hard? We used to be able to talk about anything and everything. What changed, y/n?” Tyson wonders out loud.

You feel a painful pang in your heart, because you know damn well what changed. “You did, Tyson. You changed,” you almost whisper, the truth behind those words more clear than ever before.

You watch as Tyson’s whole composure changes in the blink of an eye, in just a split second he goes from the ‘happy’ guy to the guy who’s just as heartbroken as you are. “I did, didn’t I?” Tyson whispers, the tears pooling in his eyes. “I fucked this up, how could I be so stupid?” he mumbles, burying in face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, I regret this more than I could ever admit to you. I’m so sorry, baby,” Tyson cries, trying to keep his eyes focused on you. It’s hard to keep your own tears at bay when the guy you love so much has a breakdown in front of you, so you don’t. You just let them fall.

You don’t make a move to comfort him, you do give him room to let it all out, give him time to gather his composure again. “I looked through the box, the one you left on our bed?” Tyson says, his voice still broken, still thick with emotion. You nod your head, it was something you hoped he would do. “I had no idea you kept all of that throughout the years,” Tyson smiles weakly at you. “It made me realize what a moron I have been these past few months, maybe even longer,” he continues, shaking his head in disappointment. You listen intently at him, this, this is what you hoped for all this time: realization.

“I’m not telling you that you weren’t a moron, because you absolutely were. But I’m glad you came to the same conclusion.”

Tyson chuckles at your statement, giving you half a smile. “I know, I’m a dumbass. I’m a dumbass for acting this way and a dumbass for letting you go. Any guy would be on top of the world with you by his side, and I just let you slip through my fingers,” Tyson tells you, finally showing he knows he’s been a fool all this time, he knows he let something special go.

“Is it too late for us? Can you give us another chance?” Tysons asks you, his eyes flickering between you and the ground.

You sigh softly, knowing this question would come. It’s something you gave a lot of thought, something that crossed your mind daily. “I don’t know, Tyson. I really don’t know. You really fucking hurt me, you know? I can’t just look past that, I need to heal from that,” you tell him. Tyson nods his head, a guilty expression on his face. “You made me feel worthless every single day. You didn’t even give me a second of your time day after day. All you cared about was being away. Being away from me?”

It’s right that moment Tyson interrupts you by grabbing your hands. “No. No. That’s not true, you need to believe me,” he tells you as fast as he can.

“But how can I believe you when you never gave me a reason to? Your actions showed me exactly that, Tyson. I need answers, I need to know why,” you exclaim, starting to panic again, your anxiety taking over.

“Easy, baby. I’ll tell you everything you want to know, everything you want, but right now I need you to breath. Breathe, baby,” Tyson says softly, trying to calm your shallow breathing back down to normal. “Listen to my breathing, try to follow the way I breathe.” You do as he says, following the rise and fall of his chest, gaining back control of your own breathing.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, while Tyson just shakes his head at you, letting you know it’s okay. “Can you take me home, Ty? We can talk later, okay?” you ask him, suddenly feeling the need to crawl underneath the covers of your bed and just simply sleep for a while.

“Anything you want, y/n,” Tyson says, leading you out of the room and back to his car. You’re pretty sure he mumbled something under his breath, something very closely resembling ‘your home isn’t there, it’s with me’.

The drive to Gabe takes longer than expected, giving you more time to think about Tyson’s earlier question. You still need and want to know how he spent his nights, where he spent his nights, and why he acted like you didn’t exist. That conversation might need to wait until another day, you aren’t up for any more information, any more realizations, you still need to process everything you heard, saw and felt today.

Tyson stops the car in front of Gabe’s house, looking back at you with hopeful eyes. You know he still hopes he gets an answer to his earlier question, and you want to give him at least that. “You need to show me you changed, Tyson. Show me you changed for real and I’ll try to get past everything that happened. I can’t promise you anything,” you tell him softly, meaning everything you just said.

Tyson nods his head, a smile of relief on his lips. “I will, I promise you I will show you I changed and that you’re everything to me. I promise, baby.”

So that’s exactly what Tyson does the next few weeks, every free moment he tries to show you just how much you mean to him, without smothering you. Whether it’s taking you out for dinner, although you’re still waiting for Tyson to actually make you dinner by himself one day, to small coffee dates and fresh flowers at work. It’s been a lot to process, a lot of adjusting to this ‘new’ Tyson, or rather seeing the ‘old’ Tyson again. And you missed him, God you missed him so much.

Tyson seems happier, more at peace with himself these days, it’s a pleasant change. Often you wondered what was really going on inside his head, but you stopped trying after he waved it off again, and again, and again. The late night phone calls, or facetiming during road trips have become a habit again, something you didn’t think you would ever experience again with him. You still take things slow with Tyson, deciding to rather allow yourself to slowly start trusting him again than diving head first into a relationship again. Maybe it will never come that far again, you don’t know how the future will look like for the two of you, but for now it’s enough.

You come face-to-face with a smirking Melissa when you get home from yet another ‘iced coffee and donut’ date, even though you’re pretty sure Tyson isn’t allowed to eat any donuts. “Oh no,” you groan at Melissa’s expression.

“It’s time we have a little sister-sister conversation, don’t you think?” she asks you, ushering you into the living room.

“Do we?” you groan again, not in the mood to handle whatever Melissa wants to talk about now, because you already know it’s either about you, Tyson or you and Tyson.

Melissa flops down on the couch, patting the place next to her, indicating for you to sit your ass down. “Did you already talk to him about it?” she asks, straight to point in pure Melissa-style.

You let your head fall back against the cushions, sighing loudly. “I didn’t. We’re doing great, we’re having fun. I’m going to ruin it if I start asking questions again.”

Melissa stays quiet for a minute, trying to figure out the right way to approach this sensitive topic. “You know you deserve the truth, right? You can’t rebuild a relationship when not everything’s on the table, sweetheart,” Melissa says softly, knowing you’re struggling with this.

“I promise I’ll talk to him after the road trip, I don’t want to create any unnecessary negative energy before,” you promise Melissa, although she gives you a ‘who are you trying to fool here’ look before switching topics.

A few days later you find yourself back at Tyson’s place. It’s weird being here, knowing you don’t live here anymore. Nothing changed, absolutely nothing, Tyson kept everything the way you did, whether it’s out of laziness or out of hope you’ll come back on day. Either way it’s weird coming back to a place that’s no longer your home. You came here to talk, nothing more nothing less. You promised Mel you would, and if you’re being honest with yourself it’s time to know the truth, time to reopen old wounds and finally get some answers. You’ve grown closer and closer to Tyson, without knowing everything, without knowing you’d be able to forgive him if he ever made a misstep. It’s time.

Tyson has been a nervous wreck ever since you called him last night after he returned from the road trip to St. Louis. He knew this was coming, but he prayed you would simply forget, even though he knows that’s not fair at all. He can’t excuse his behavior, and he won’t, not anymore. You deserve nothing but the truth, the full truth. He’s not proud of it, but you leaving him opened his eyes, showed him he really needed to change. Tyson feels like that’s something he truly did, he changed for the better, he can only hope you’ll feel the same way. He can only hope you’re still on the same path after tonight.

“You did great these last games, Ty,” you smile at him. You’re proud of the way he’s been performing these last couple of games, he really stepped up his game.

“I know you didn’t come here to talk about my performances on the ice, so can we please skip the pleasantries?” Tyson sighs, catching you completely off guard with his rather harsh approach. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way, I’ve just been so fucking nervous since you called me,” Tyson curses, frustratedly brushing his fingers through his curls.

“You’re right though, I did come to talk. I think it’s time we lay all our cards on the table,” you tell him, nodding at your own answer.

You nervously bite on your lip, playing with the cup of water in your hand. It isn’t every day you ask your ex these questions. Questions you want the answers to, question you maybe don’t even want to hear the answers of. “I need to know if you cheated on me, Ty,” you blurt out, keeping your eyes on the ground, not wanting to see the look on Tyson’s face.

“Look at me, baby,” Tyson says, urging you to look up at him. “I never cheated on you, I wouldn’t do that to you. I promise.”

You shake your head at him, not knowing what to do with these emotions surging through your body. “It doesn’t make sense, Ty. Where were you all those nights? Where were you every time I lay in bed alone waiting for my boyfriend to come home? Waiting if he actually comes home this time or stays out all night again? Where were you?” At this point you’re past the civil conversations, past the friendly banter, you need answers, you need to know why he did what he did. The reason doesn’t even matter at this point, you need to know why. Why did he leave you alone so many nights, worrying about his well being, worrying about if he would come home at some point?

“Fuck, y/n! I know I fucked up, I know I did. But I swear on everything, I swear on my career, I swear on you that I never, never, touched another woman. I never kissed another woman, I never even danced with another woman, I did not cheat on you,” Tyson exclaims, hoping, praying you hear what he’s saying, that you’ll believe him. He didn’t do anything with another person, it was always you, it still is only you and he’ll do everything in his power to prove that to you every damn day.

“Then where were you, Ty? If you weren’t with another woman, then where the fuck were you every night you didn’t came home? Please enlighten me, because I’m so lost, so fucking lost,” you say, feeling utterly frustrated with yourself, with Tyson, with this shitty situation.

Tyson takes a deep breath, placing his cup back on the table. “Shitfaced drunk to the point I couldn’t even remember my own name, or so stoned I saw freaking elephants running all around town. Spending my money on unnecessary shit at clubs and bars, all to forget, trying to forget the fact that I had a perfect girlfriend waiting for me at home, while I did stupid shit. Fuck, this sounds even worse out loud than in my head,” Tyson groans, burying his face in his hands.

“But...,” you start, before Tyson cuts you off.

“I felt ashamed and guilty, y/n. Ashamed I let it get that far every time, guilty I didn’t tell you, guilty I didn’t come home again. One of the guys would just take me back to their place out of sympathy, letting me crash on their couch, trying to sleep off my haze.”

You try to come up with words to say, with anything but nothing comes out, you just feel.. empty? “I don’t understand, Tyson,” you say, at this point not even sure what you don’t understand.

“I tried, y/n. I tried to just come clean, but I couldn’t when you were so nice all the time, I couldn’t when I knew you would hate it, hate me. You know I’m a fucking lightweight, that makes it even worse. But those are no excuses, there aren’t any. I fucked up,” Tyson sighs, giving you a sad smile, “I couldn’t face you, I didn’t know how to show you my vulnerable side without letting it change the way you saw me. I didn’t want you to see me any different, but I didn’t notice I changed until you packed your bags and left me standing in the doorway.”

You’re absolutely speechless, there are so many things you want to say but you can’t form any sentences, any words. You just stare at him, your mind racing with an unlimited amount of thoughts. “Are you okay, baby?” Tyson asks softly, reaching out to put his hand on your arm.

You shake your head from side to side, wiping away the tears that spilled out. “I’m not okay, I’m definitely not okay,” you tell him. “I feel terrible knowing you didn’t feel like you could come to me, like you couldn’t talk to me. I’ve always been your biggest supporter, nothing would’ve changed that, Ty.”

Tyson gently wipes the tears away from underneath your eyes, scooting closer to where you’re seated. “Come here, baby,” he softly says, opening his arms for you. You hesitate for a second, not knowing if this is the right thing to do. Fuck the right thing, you definitely need a hug right now, and judging by Tyson’s facial expression he needs one as well. You lean forward, putting your arms around his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his body. How long has it been since you hugged each other? You can’t even remember, way too long. Tyson closes his arms around you, pulling you as close as possible to his own body.

“I missed this, Ty. I missed you,” you confess, the feeling of his arms around you, the feeling of Tyson, bringing back so many memories, so many happier times.

“I know we still have a long way to go, but I hope we’ll do this together. I can’t even tell you how great it feels to have my arms around you again, even if it’s just for a moment,” Tyson says, after you both let go of each other.

“We do, but I’m in if you’re in, Ty,” you agree, wanting nothing more than to work through the issues you still have. It’s time to forgive, time to let go, time to change and time to move on.

“I’m all in.”

The talk you had with Tyson that Wednesday evening did wonders for the both of you. You still had a long way to go before you were even remotely close to where you used to be with Tyson, but the most important thing was that you were working on things. Slowly, but steadily the two of you worked on trusting each other again, telling each other important things again, just simply working on being in a healthy relationship again. Although the word never came up, you were nowhere near ready for that commitment, so you settled on something less intimidating. Friends.

It was supposed to be a regular, normal Friday evening with just Melissa and the kids. Gabe and Tyson were playing one of their most important games this season, both of them begged you to come, but it was too late to find a babysitter. Not wanting to be by yourself there and leaving Mel alone, you decided to sit this one out as well, promising to cheer them on in front of the tv. It’s the least you could do. So there you are, seated on the couch wearing your Jost jersey for the very first time again, just as you promised. Weird, like nothing ever changed, even though the exact opposite is true.

You’re bouncing a giggling Linnea Rae on your knee, looking down at her adorable mini jersey. “Look it’s your daddy!” you exclaim excitedly, pointing at the closeup shot of Gabe.

“Daddy!” Linnea Rae giggles just as excited.

You catch Mel softly smiling at your little interaction with her daughter, enjoying the love you share for each other. It’s been a blessing to have you around here, the way you care for her children, but also for her and her husband has been phenomenal. Mel couldn’t wish for a better friend, for a better sister than you.

“Oh no,” you whisper when Tyson gets slammed hard into the glass. Melissa grabs your hand, squeezing softly.

“He’s going to be fine, he’s a tough guy,” she says, trying her best to comfort you. And he is, like the tough guy Tyson is, he gets up again, shaking off the hard hit. The game continues and you’re glad Tyson is fine, skating like he didn’t just get squeezed between a glass wall and a 200 pound hockey player.

All goes well until Gabe decides the best place to smack his stick is directly against Tyson’s face, again. “Not his face, Gabe! Not his fucking face again!” you yell at the screen, thanking Mel for already putting the kids to sleep.

“Shit, that looks bad,” Melissa almost whispers, squeezing your hand again.

You don’t know many things for sure in life, but you sure as hell know Tyson will be spotting a black eye for weeks. But like the tough guy he already proved to be, he just goes on with the game, trying his absolute best to work as hard as he can, giving himself completely to the game, anything to get his team the victory.

“That’s the second time you gave my man a black eye, Gabe. Why do you keep hurting him?” you whine the second Gabe walks into the living room. For a moment the room stays awfully quiet, until you realize what you just said. “I really said that, huh?” you ask, fighting to keep the smile off your face.

“You sure did. But I’m sorry, it was an accident. Again,” Gabe chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

“Uhu, again,” you say, rolling your eyes at your best friend.

Gabe grins at you, flopping down on the couch next to Mel. “I’ll try not to hurt his pretty face again, okay?” Gabe laughs, shaking his head at you in a playful way.

“Is it weird if I, you know.. went over to check up on him?” you ask your friends, suddenly insecure about the thought of just showing up at his door.

Gabe gives you a soft smile. “I’m absolutely convinced he’d love that, y/n,” Gabe says, pulling Melissa closer to him.

“I know he would, sis,” Melissa agrees with her husband.

“Fine, okay. I’ll be back in a few. Don’t enjoy yourself too much,” you tell the two lovebirds before finding your stuff and almost running out of the front door.

You’re giddy the entire drive to Tyson’s apartment. This could go two ways, either it goes extremely well or this backfires completely. You’re hoping for the first one. Seeing Tyson get hurt gave you some realizations. One of them is that you absolutely hate to see him hurt, and you want nothing more than to be there for him, care for him, to tell him everything will be alright. Which brings you to your second discovery of the evening: you still love him, you’re still completely and utterly in love with Tyson. You can’t, really can’t imagine your life without Tyson in it. It’s your turn to tell him you need him, tell him you don’t want to do anything without him, tell him you still see a future together.

You pick up his favorite comfort food on the way over, cake. You know his nutritionist will hate you for this, but he deserves a treat after taking a stick to the face. You chuckle to yourself when you think of the small cake you bought, it’s stupid and childish, but you love it. The fun you already had makes it absolutely worth it. You park in front of the building, hopping out of the car and quickly making your way over to the floor Tyson occupies.

You rummage around in your coat pocket for the lighter you bought alongside the cake. Quickly placing the cover back into the bag, and lighting up the ‘2’ shaped candle. You snicker to yourself, enjoying this way too much. You knock on the door and patiently wait for Tyson to open up. You hear Tyson approaching, making it harder and harder to keep your composure.

The moment he opens the door his face shifts from slight annoyance, to confused, to happy, and back to confused again. “y/n?” he asks softly, looking between you and the cake, confusion clearly written all over his face.

“Happy second black eye!” you yell, before bursting out in laughter.

Tyson can’t help but join you in your laughter, if there’s one thing he loves about you, it’s your wicked sense of humor. “You really are something special, aren’t you?” Tyson chuckles, shaking his head softly at you, a smile playing on his lips.

“You tell me, Jost,” you say, giving him a wink before walking past him and inside his apartment.

“So you bought me a cake?” Tyson asks you, looking over your shoulder to the cake on his kitchen counter.

“I sure did, thought you’d deserved a treat after what Gabe did to you, again,” you laugh.

“He sure likes to hit me in the face with things. But thank you, this really means a lot to me, baby,” Tyson softly says, squeezing your hip with one of his hands, before grabbing two plates. While Tyson cuts the cake you look for something to drink, deciding water will do for the night.

You flop down on the couch next to Tyson, immediately bringing the fork with a piece of cake to your mouth. “Oh God, that’s so good,” you moan out, you picked some killer cake.

“Don’t make those noises, please,” Tyson groans, stuffing his face with cake.

“I’m sorry I picked such a good freaking cake, mister,” you laugh, nudging him with your foot. Tyson rolls his eyes playfully at you, grabbing your foot with his free hand before you can nudge him again and again.

“Movie?” Tyson asks after you both finished your plates, although Tyson finished the last few bites of your piece. Like he said he’s a needy and hungry man.

“Sure, but just something light and funny, Ty. Nothing dark,” you tell him, knowing he’d love to scare you throughout some horror movie.

While Tyson scrolls through the movies, you make yourself more comfortable on the couch, laying back against the cushions with your feet against Tyson. He looks at you, scanning your body, clearly thinking about something since his eyebrows keep furrowing and relaxing.

“Come here, Tyson,” you softly say when he finally picks a movie to watch, opening your arms for him. His eyes shoot to yours, like he can’t actually believe you just told him that. He gives you a quick smile, before moving towards you, laying down beside you.

He rests his head against your chest, just like he used to do so long ago, his arm wrapped around your waist. “Is this okay?” he asks you, making sure you aren’t uncomfortable, even though you’re the one who suggested this.

“It’s perfect, Ty,” you reassure him.

Halfway through the movie you can’t resist the temptation to run your fingers through his curls any longer. Tyson groans softly when your nails rake over his scalp, sending chill through your body. “That’s so good, please never stop doing that,” he groans out, pulling you tighter against him.

“I wasn’t planning on it, Ty,” you tell him, smiling at the way his eyes shoot to yours.

“You aren’t? Are you serious?” he asks you quietly, eyes still locked on yours.

“I am, love. I came to the conclusion that you’re worth all the risks in life. You’re my light, my guiding light in darkness, my light at the end of the tunnel,” you say, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead. You try to express your emotions towards Tyson, trying to make him feel what you felt when you came to the sudden realization he’s worth taking a risk.

“What does that mean, baby?” Tyson asks you softly, an uncertain smile on his lips.

“It means I’m willing to give us another shot, another go. I want to try again, Ty.”

You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips when you look at Tyson’s face, the realization setting in, the happiness and the gratefulness spreading all over his face, the relief flooding through his body.

“How does that work?” Tyson asks again, clearly trying to rid himself of any insecurities, any questions he has. You gladly take those insecurities away from him.

“A clean slate, completely starting over again to give us both a fresh start. How does that sound?” you ask him.

Tyson nods at you, the happiness radiation off him. “A fresh start, I like the sound of that,” Tyson muses. The changes on his face fascinates you, it seems like he goes through a whole range of emotions in just a few minutes. Until he reaches one you know all too well, mischief. He looks at you, the familiar glimmer in his eyes tells you he’s definitely up to something. He sends you a soft and sweet smile, that almost melts you into a puddle right there and then. “Hi, I’m Tyson,” he says, extending his hand to you. You can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you, this is exactly how Tyson is. Funny, charming, an absolute dream.

“You’re a goof, you know that?” you tell him, softly shaking your head at him, but the big grin on your face tells him you loved that. Tyson intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing softly. When he doesn’t make any other moves you take matters into your own hand, slowly leaning in and softly pressing your lips on his. The familiarity, the rush of emotion flooding through your body hits you like a ton of bricks. The feeling of his lips against yours light something deep inside of you, and just like that you finally feel complete again.

#tyson jost #tyson jost imagine #tyson jost fic #tyson jost x reader #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl fic #hockey fic #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #tyson jost fanfiction

[ladyespera]

First Lines

Request: List the first ten lines of the last ten stories you published. Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. Then tag some friends.

Nobody tagged me in this but I saw @sakasakiii doing it and wanted to pass it on to my frens. and well uhhhhh after looking at this i can certainly say that boy i just love dropping people right into present action with ZERO context and also i love to be general and abstract!!!!!! who needs concrete background 😌😌😌 weird mix of generic essay openings vibes and surrealism my beloved?????? also I've just realized that people just stand and stare and overthink and PanicTM a lot in my fics ehehe I wonder where they get thAT-

perchance

Commodore Karyn Faro stands on the bridge of the Chimaera, hands neatly cinched behind her back, her eyes looking out past the viewport at the swirling vortex of hyperspace. The atmosphere is silent, almost calm; despite the urgency of their dispatch back to Lothal and the fiasco of the gralloc mission, for now, nothing can be done to either speed or slow their journey. Her eyes focus back on her faint, pale reflection in the viewport. “This is a dream,” she whispers to her other self.

bright star (cheated on this one by 1 line 🤫)

There is a moment, in the middle of the chaos, when Maedhros suddenly senses the faint scream of danger. He cannot place it, cannot discern why, and yet... He dodges a shower of stones as the entire mountain trembles, the roar of the sack of Angband nearly too great for mortal ears. The Silmarils. If the Valar are too occupied with Morgoth, he must get to them first—he must be getting close to the entrance. A cry close by, past a pile of bodies, and in amongst the shadow of the mountain, he glimpses a flash of white hair emerging, wavering—and then a familiar dark-headed figure, running to help, extending a hand—

than never to have loved

So many say he has the gift of foresight. But it is not always a gift. Some days, it is a curse, a smog of uncertainty that clouds his thoughts and shadows his soul with horrible possibility. When Elrond throws everything he has into working towards good, into protecting the best in people, into saving what he can of Middle-Earth, it is also because he has seen the worst. So when he dedicates his heart and soul to this one cause, this one Hope, he also knows what his payment might be.

to have loved and lost

“Do you have a father?” Elrond looks up from his parchment stiffly, startled. The child is fixing him with a piercing gaze of curiosity that reminds him briefly of a younger self; stamping down the brief spark of pain at the thought, he smiles graciously instead. Today is the anniversary of their coming to Rivendell, of what Aragorn probably associates with Arathorn’s death; of course he might have thoughts. “Yes, Estel, I have a father.” “But is he still in Middle Earth?”

the tides of the heart

“Sometimes people don’t want to be saved. Sometimes it’s time to die. ” . The summer air is warm when Grace Holloway steps out the door on her way to work, but humid too, with a hint of fog, like the grey sea air is already planning to roll in before the day is out. Grace doesn’t mind the fog—she likes it, even, the mystery of it—but she hates the humidity. It makes her hair frizzy.

greatest privilege

Commodore Karyn Faro had just had the longest 96 hours of her entire life, and she hadn’t slept for any of them. From escape pod to emergency evacuation craft to med bay to debriefings to more debriefings to waiting in hallways to finally being released into this bland Navy office. On Coruscant. Where she’d intended to be anyway - just not quite this hectically. Now she was sitting, her eyes fixed on the empty space in front of her as her mind buzzed lazily. Not even recollecting anymore. Or regretting. Just...empty. “Commodore Faro?” a voice called from behind the desk.

just a phone call away

The Doctor stands in the train station and stares at the ringing phone. He isn’t going to answer it. Of course he isn’t. His mind has already done the mental calculations a thousand times this day, the hypotheticals, the guesswork, comparing his lists of goodbyes to his lists of losses, finding that section of the Venn diagram within which fall the people who have left him and whom he never said goodbye to and-- He can’t not. His fingers tremble slightly as he pushes the little accept call button.

forget me not

Every morning, he wakes up and wonders whether it’s going to be a good day. Of course, that all depends on a few key metrics. First things first. He opens his eyes. Does he ache? Sometimes there is nothing at all. Sometimes sitting up immediately reminds him that ouch, he had better be careful today. Sometimes it’s just something odd, like the aftertaste of bile on his tongue or a weird lingering sensation in his blood, as if his antibodies are trying to yell at his brain like “ Hey! Red flag, idiot! Stop doing what you’re doing !”

breathing space

Liv had said that all the emotion before must have drained him dry now, left him with only a hopeful energy. After all, there’s not much lower to go emotionally than weeping on a street, too pained to even crawl. Here, there’s no ravenous monsters or maniac Timelords. No end of the world to worry about. It’s only up from here. Only up. The rain flecks his face. Only up…

uhhhhh tagging @fortes-fortuna-iogurtum @as-dreamers-do @swinging-stars-from-satellites @lilac-vode but really anyone plz feel free to have at it! :)

#writing #personal #tolkien #silmarillion #doctor who #eighth doctor #star wars #thrawn

[lambden]

fic writer review

tagged by @dameferre (on main) <3 this ended up being long so i’m throwing it under the cut! thank you for the tag, i’ve wanted to do this for a while!

tagging: @weedsinavacantlot @mosaicscale @jaskiersvalley @unyielding-as-the-sea @chubbykatsudon @ohnomybreadsticks even though I know some of you have already done this!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

78. one is anonymous right now for a flash fic challenge so it isn’t showing up. i have no fucking idea how i got here (AND i’ve deleted so many stories...)

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

542911 which is truly horrendous. somebody stop me

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

so i’ve MOSTLY written the witcher/dead by daylight/until dawn, but i have 25 fandoms with currently published works. yikes

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

-number one is a stupid fic with a polyamorous ship (+ a trans character) for a fandom i no longer care about and a book series i really hate. i regret writing it (and have said so in the notes), i was at a place in my life where i wanted to write this incredibly self-indulgent thing after diving headfirst into canon, and now rereading it with a critical eye, it just makes me annoyed.

-number two is, SOMEHOW, the geraskier scent kink fic?! i don’t understand how this has more kudos than some of my other fics!!!!! people really love smut huh

-number three is venom smut

-number four is the cave, my longest fic! it’s an until dawn fix-it that is very self-indulgent and definitely needs a total rework haha

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i try to respond to all comments that aren’t anonymous! like elle said, I appreciate it more when people notice an obscure reference or something. I think the one word/emoji comments are still nice but they don’t personally have much of an impact on me. and all this being said, i am perpetually behind on my comment replies I currently have 246 to do 😔😔😔

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

it’s the one i’m publishing next week for the whataboutthebard event hehe

7. do you write crossovers? if so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i love crossovers i think theyre very fun! i wrote an (unpublished) crossover where deadpool and cable are the superhero identities of face and hannibal from the a-team. it was a birthday gift to a friend and it was VERY indulgent especially with the non-linear timeline (because cable) but whatever, i reread it recently and it still slaps

8. have you ever received hate on a fic?

i have but nothing that really irked me so badly i remembered it, oops

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i sure do which is hilarious because as someone who is sex repulsed like 95% of the time irl... how do i keep getting away with this

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

okay no i haven’t (to my knowledge) but also someone once wrote an until dawn fic “inspired by” the cave that basically took the exact same plot and ....??? made it worse/simpler? it was hard to read so i wasn’t 100% sure but. at first i was flattered and eventually it just got annoying, even though they barely wrote anything for it

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

people have offered but none have followed through!! wah

12. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i’ve planned out fics with people but the writing process is difficult enough without someone else there. i would really like to get into those train fics where each author writes a different part though, i think it’d be a ton of fun

13. what’s your all-time fave ship?

it is probably, just statistically, eames and arthur. but there are so many lmao how could i choose

14. what’s a fic you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i should probably put the cave here but i’m close to the end of that one actually, just need to sit down and do it! but ‘spectacular’, the kingsman/baby driver crossover i worked SOOOO hard on, is probably not something i’m ever going to feel comfortable finishing. or if i do, i will be rewriting it so that it’s clear that i’m headcanoning baby as someone other than ans*l elg*rt (john boyega...? 👀) but yeah at this moment in time i can’t see that happening

15. what are your writing strengths?

idk.. i like my dialogue!

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

scene transitions, endings, editing out scenes that aren’t cohesive and don’t contribute anything but I love Them Your Honour, falling into the same boring writing style with each sentence having the exact same structure

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on a fic?

i think it needs to be done correctly and there has to be a reason for it

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

i dunno man... naruto maybe???? d. gray-man? sh*rlock??????????? perhaps les mis when i was a baby and literally only cared about eponine and cosette

19. what is your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

it’s really hard for me to choose only one answer here 😔 I really like my laegjarn/fjorm stuff and the ocean’s eleven fic i wrote, and i LOVE the dialogue in my veep fics <3 for dead by daylight i’m still proud of my jake/evan summer camp slasher AU! and i like most of my witcher fics, i’m really excited about some things i have in the works right now.

if you actually made it to the bottom, thanks for reading!!! 🥰🥰🥰

#my writing #ask meme #(not really but you know!!! anyway)

[do-you-have-a-flag]

Destiel shippers come get ya’ll juice!

SO @deadwright​ and I were inspired by Some Tumblr Posts and the twitter Roadhouse  Wedding stuff and keep writing headcanons about Thee Destiel 2021 Married Ever After S16 SPN Romantic Event Of The Season, so here’s that. 

Arranged in order of marital chronology and cutting out us keysmashing too much:

oh man imagine all the burgers they get catered for the reception dean got it done himself he would’ve been so particular about the catering bridezilla cas would probably be THEE bitchiest bridezilla

it's also definitely that trope where all the other hunters ect KNOW that that many of them and the wedding party are essentially a target for trouble so everyone spends the 24 hours leading up to the vows taking out every beastie who shows up on a revenge kick out of sight because they'll be damned if they let ANYTHING stop this wedding and Dean and cas are both having their marital jitters oh god im not good enough what if something goes wrong about mundane things while monsters are getting their ass kicked outside AWWWWWWWW for sure for sure, they’re hunter royalty this wedding is a big deal like half the attendees are nursing injuries but grinning widely

they don't do the can't see eachother before the wedding thing because you KNOW dean would be fixing cas' tie last minute

dean wears a blue pocket square to match cas' tie cas wears a FLANNEL SQUARE

I’m obsessed w the idea of cas giving dean a little bit of his grace in a small bottle on a chain for him to wear or like a wing feather or some part of him god the grace in a bottle breaks me every time in fic dean probably builds cas something but every time i try to think of something specific i choke up

i was thinking like what if trading grace is as close to a romantic gesture as angels have and he's like..... technically i left some grace behind in your mark when i dragged you from the pit and dean is like ARE YOU SAYING WE'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME? 

they are so sweet i’m on the verge of tears the ability to do anything by halves in their relationship was burnt out by like the second return from the dead moment they are too insane to be anything less than All In And Then Some

at one point someone was like hey cas do you want to run your vows by someone as practice? and he started reading what he'd prepared and it devolved into Biblically Grand Statements Of The Power Of Love And The Redemption Of - ect ect ect and it's because unlike the confession scene he's had TOO much preparation and overshot into uncanny angelic vibes he makes some edits because he know the expressions he gets when he reads it aren't what he intended

dean writes page after page after page of unused drafts, none of them are particularly floral

he does the cliche of ripping up his vows and improvising at the altar, something he gets mercilessly teased for because he swore he wouldn't but it classifies as a chick flick moment

THAT’S SO PEAK HIM OH MY GOD and you knoooooow you just KNOW it’s beautiful and emotional and everyone is crying

god the NOVELTY of dean being emotionally honest in front of people......im gonna faint YEA yeah... ONE TIME ONLY DEAL he thinks loudly at Sam's smug expression

anyway, at the wedding dean is the one who spends the whole ceremony with like crying cat meme eyes after the confession scene i’m pretty sure the minute the vows start cas is in the same boat USELESS HUSBANDS dean gets passed a handkerchief for his tears and immediately goes to use it on cas' face and they both laugh sob love the idea that everyone individually thought they were too tough to cry but they all broke at various stages yeah sam definitely starts to choke up just standing up there with his brother sam chokes up before the ceremony even started, like probably when he was pinning on dean’s corsage

anyway, Jack dancing with his two dads at the reception CAS’ BEST MAN / FLOWER BOY FLOWER MAN let him heelie down the aisle with the flowers LITTLE MAN GO NYOOM who makes him a little flower crown he wears with a proud lil smile? claire ofc, with those hair braiding skills? she makes it BEAUTIFUL flower crown: on nails: painted dads: MARRIED!!!!

when they say i do and kiss and everyone is cheering you can't convince me that someone doesn't let off what is either a gun or a dubiously legal firework in celebration jack pops a few lightbulbs in his uncontrollable joy

Dean and Cas can't let go of each other, it's at LEAST one point of physical contact for the rest of the reception PERIODT

CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM DANCING TO AIR SUPPLY

they definitely didn't do the wedding gifts thing but a few mysteriously show up anyway; discuss waffle iron from sam bc he remembers the becky incident meanwhile claire gets them flavoured lube because she’s an insane little mean girl she gets them a sampler package with like novelty flavours, gotta spring extra for a wedding PIE FLAVOURED LUBE

it’s gonna be the party of the century omfg you KNOW it! that dancefloor going OFF the BAR is FLOWING

dean gets dragged up onto the bar to make a speech and there's a moment at the end where he drags cas up there too and they're being playfully yelled at not to scuff it and there's hooting and catcalls as dean and cas kiss and dean gestures rudely before almost falling backwards off the bar before cas grabs him and climbing down is less romantic or dignified but he couldn't care if he wanted to

meanwhile sam and claire are outside defacing the impala with silly string and lewd graffiti and tin cans tied to the bumper for the going-away oh it is one hundo percent a just married atrocity there's enough condoms hidden in the car that they're still finding them months later

anyway wanna hear my disgustingly soppy honeymoon roadtrip concept? YOU KNOW I DO OKAY SO

you know at some point dean must have said some sad thing like for the longest time he never thought he'd live long enough to get married and the only circumstances he could imagine was hooking up drunkenly with a stranger at some vegas wedding scenario like that's the best he would ever get and he thinks it's mostly forgotten but then during their cross country honeymoon roadtrip castiel does in fact navigate them to las vegas and quietly mutters that the legal veracity of the little chapel on the city limits is dubious at best and they're already married so it couldn't do any harm and they get officiated by an elvis impersonator and a woman wearing more sequins than fabric throws cheap confetti over them

and after that they stop into every venue they can find that would be friendly to them to pretend they're eloping and at one point dean even pulls out the fbi id badges and the officiant is under the impression he's facilitating some sort of covert workplace romance 

one place is a kitchy little house that's clearly just the couple who run it opening their strange home to anyone who needs it and have been since the 70s and Castiel thinks for a moment when they're asked to pin something to the collection of stuff on the walls and ceiling before pulling the receipt for the pie they'd shared earlier in a dinner out and scrawling his and dean's name on it to be added to the clutter 

and at one point they stand ankle deep in a pond while some old hippie lady wraps their clasped hands together with soft fabric and chants something that dean knows isn't real magic but hey he's not going to tell her that and after the ceremony they sit on the grass and feed each other sweet bread to complete the binding or whatever and it's nice but it doesn't compare to the ranch where they both tossed their cowboy hats in the air and were given a horse to ride to their camp site

i thought about riverboat gambling for point one seconds and now i know in my bones that one of their many weddings was on a riverboat, they made the captain officiate after cornering him on deck in like five minutes, the crew sent them complimentary champagne and they threw fries at the birds following the boat while sharing it straight out of the bottle

if destiel can go canon multiple times they can get married multiple times CHANGE MY MIND THEY GET MARRIED SO MUCH the MOST married i just want them to get gay cowboy married

eventually i want them to end up at the beach bc dean has canonically never been to the coast their road trip is to get to the other coast

they send just married postcards back to sam from every stop sam stops feeling hurt he was left out of their vegas elopement wedding by the third wedding postcard he recieves sam saves them ofc bc GOD can you imagine them looking at the postcards on their 30th anniversary or s/t 🥺 showing their grandkids and recounting the story of each wedding there's a seashell taped to the last one

cas gets a terrible sunglasses tan and dean gets burnt on the tips of his ears and there's sand on sand on sand in all their clothes and at one point dean is blinking away salt water and cas is gripping his arm and saying something about the coral by them in the water and dean thinks that he likes floating beside cas a lot better than flying

dean has cas pick ice cream for them from a truck and hustles at carnival games enough to win them both big novelty foam hats and they both go back to their room and pass out immediately post shower sprawled across the bed and still smelling like sunscreen and salt water

dean tucks a little cocktail umbrella behind cas’ ear

cas spends most of the next day in dean's zepplin shirt and a pair of shorts they only picked up once they got there because neither of them thought to bring beach clothes, they sit on the balcony and dean sips his beer and idly plays with the ring on cas' finger and they play a game of what fictional monsters could they beat in a fight

cas’ true form is the size of the chrysler building he can fight king kong easy that's what he says and dean's like okay but what about mothra and castiel is like how would YOU defeat mothra and dean just goes "bugspray." GDJSGSHSGSHDSJ DEAN WOULD

in honour of misha putting his whole pussy into the role, cas wears a dress in at least one of their weddings

it's at one of those theme parks that's just historical re-enactments and people get their vows renewed there and there's costumes for the photobooth and the staff are like how long have you been married? castiel says two weeks, three days, eighteen hours, and twenty five minutes................ approximately.  and the photo is cas in a classical wedding gown and dean is wearing the veil with his old timey suit and there's a moose head on the wall behind them wearing the top hat he was given and they send that print with an arrow pointing at the moose with sam written next to it

i keep thinking bitch!!!! you KNOW WHAT!! you KNOW that dean is the type a guy who's heart races every time he feels his wedding ring/is always fiddling with it in the weeks after the wedding, like an anchor to remind him they really got married this is real he would NEED that physical reminder that he can have good things

he’s never ever going to take it off, the tan line will be permanent

how funny it would be if dean gets injured on a hunt and the monster guy is about to kill him and then the lights blow out and the monsters are like what was that and dean is just like "[spits blood] that's my husband." and nek minnit cas has just ripped through them thanks to teleporting in angel style and is just like Cas: [heals dean] "you're late for movie night" Dean: "Well if you'd gotten here earlier i would have been on time." Cas: >:| [kisses him]

cas is like i didn’t burn the popcorn this time you BETTER be alive to see it

#destiel #supernatural #long post #supernatural season 16 #twitter roadhouse wedding about to pop OFF #destiel wedding #deancas

[tippenfunkaport]

Tippen’s work in progress fic updates! (April 2021)

It's time once again my friends for an update on all my works in progress!

The TL;DR is that I am writing a lot of stuff to prepare for Seamista and Glimbow Weeks so I didn’t post as many things this month in exchange for post A TON next month.

The big news is that I am

participating in Seamista Week in May @cephalopod-literary-society

modding / participating in Glimbow Week a week after that @glimbowweek

doing Camp NaNoWriMo

Which means I am writing a TON this month but just not stuff I could post yet.

What about your ongoing fics? I hoped to finish Glowing Up and The B Team before April and I... totally failed at that. But The B Team WILL be updating every Sunday like clockwork until it’s done in an unprecedented bout of consistency. At the time of posting, there are two chapters left and they are both ready to roll.

In the meantime, there aren't too many chapters left of Glowing Up and most of them are already written, it's just a matter of finding time between other things to clean them and get them posted. Hopefully once Glimbow Week is over I can get that one completed.

As for Prince Bow and Archer Glimmer and Going There, both of them are both my mental fallback projects in the sense that whenever I don't particularly feel like working on anything specific I always return to them so I'm fine with just working on them in the background whenever in between other things. You’ll get those when you get them, basically, and likely not until after Glimbow Week.

That said, I do plan going forward to always have one fic that is getting consistently updated weekly, like I am doing now with The B Team and then just do other updates as I can.

What are you working on for Camp NaNoWriMo?

For NaNo, I didn't set a numeric goal. I am just trying to get everything written and ready to go for Seamista and Glimbow weeks. I'm also writing as far ahead in all my multi-chapter fics as I can this month so there should be less posting delays in the future.

What's coming up?

If anyone cares, here's a little teaser of exactly what I'm working on (with the disclaimer that this is always subject to change as my whims and sudden and capricious).

Seamista Week

As of now, I am planning on writing four things for sure Seamista Week and then maybe doing more if I have extra time. These are...

a double date between Seamista and Entrapdak (Yeah, you read that right, baby!)

a long post explaining a treasured headcanon of mine about Seamista in Season Five that I am too lazy to make into a full fic

The Sea Gate from Swapped Seamista's POV set in the world of my Glimbow Swap (aka Prince Bow and Archer Glimmer)

a fun modern AU of Sea Hawk failing (... or is he?) to pick up Mermista at a bar

if I have extra time I will write a song parody (steeples chin mysteriously)

Glimbow Week

As for Glimbow Week, my intention right now is to participate every single day. I am going to try to NOT stress myself by doing two prompts for every day but if I do get extra fics written, I’ll throw em up too!

Here are some of the things I have for you...

Outlaws of the Whispering Woods! Multi-chapter Robin Hood inspired / dystopian spin on the events of Season 5 for Catradora and Glimbow but focusing on the friendships between Adora & Bow and Catra & Glimmer that I am so so excited for you to read!!

a cute high school AU

a funny college AU

a post-canon multi-chapter fic where Glimmer accidentally teleports herself... into a modern AU! Comic antics and also feelings may ensue!

something kind of different from me, my angsty as HELL (literally) take on the popular Celestial AU but focused on Glimbow of course bc it's their week

something people have been asking me for for a while... a sequel to my fic Paperworks and Proposals fic!

Yes, they are almost all AUs. Let me live.

I also wrote..

a PJO mythology inspired fic (that I planned for Glimbow Week but got too long so I’ll save it for another time so I don't have too many fics in progress at once)

a Medieval AU one-shot I wrote for my own amusement with princess / royal guard dynamics (can’t post for Glimbow Week bc TOO SEXY OH NO!)

another too hot for Glimbow Week post set in the world of Prince Bow and Archer Glimmer

a bunch of self-indulgent gift fics for all my Glimbow buddies that I meant to have done for Glimbow week but will probably instead roll out randomly as I get them finished

What about...?

The two things people ask me about the most are when am I going to continue my Horde Glimmer and when will I post the next part of Beasts AU?

The answer to that is I planned to start posting them for Glimbow Week but then I realized I didn't want to have too many fics in progress at once. So they are both partially and I will start posting them eventually but first I have to finish some other ongoing stuff. 

And, I’m telling you right now, if they announce more She-Ra I’m going to start posting the sequel to Going There, Coming Home, even if GT isn’t done yet because I’d rather have it posted before post-canon changes and I would have to rewrite it.

Once Glimbow Week is over, I will have five multi-chapter fics in progress 😫 which is too many so I’ll be working on getting those up and completed for the foreseeable future!

And that’s what I’ve got coming up! Sorry this is the longest post on earth! As always, feel free to send me asks about any of my fics or works in progress, I would LOVE to talk about them!

#glimbow #seamista #fic update #tippen's fics

[konstantya]

Frankenstein’s Meme - Day 25, 26, & 27

(Full list of questions at the bottom, under the cut.  Previous answers can be found here.)

25.  Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Hetalia’s Austria is a big fan of electronic music in the modern day (the quintessential Techno Snob, bless him), and also has a strong appreciation for progressive rock.  (The bitch likes more than just Classical, and yOU CAN FIGHT ME.)

26.  A trope which you are virtually certain to love in any fandom.

I’m always a sucker for a good forced proximity, no matter if it’s due to inclement weather or fake dating or whatever else.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

27.  A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Soulmates.  Partly because I’m vehemently opposed to the idea that there is one (and only one) specific person out there for someone, and partly because the trope just seems lazy?  Like, who needs good character dynamics and/or a believable romantic connection when we can just deus ex machina these two people together!  And I know the characters don’t always get on well in soulmate stories, and that can be part of the conflict--like they have to learn to live with/like each other--but eh...  It just doesn’t do it for me.  (So I guess as an addendum to 26, I like my forced proximity tropes, but without the woo-woo, pfft.)

.

.

.

(Originally posted by trobadora, on DW.)

1. What’s changed about your fandom life in the last 365 days? 2. Your newest fandom. 3. You’ve got your OTP, you have to throw a third into the mix (from the same fandom), creating an OT3. Who is the OTP, and in your opinion, why would they make a perfect third for them? 4. What are the origins of your penname/username? 5. What’s a fandom that you wish had a bigger following? 6. What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? Not necessarily your oldest fandom, but a fandom that you started and still continue to read/write/create content for in some way. 7. What would make you leave a fandom, or prevent you from getting into it in the first place? 8. Squicks - What are some things that squick you in fandom - not necessarily “icky”, though it can be. From anything involving blood, to bad grammar. 9. What’s the hardest thing about writing, and why are titles the Worst™? 10. Do you have a fandom that you follow - either regularly or casually - with little to no knowledge of canon? 11. Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed. 12. A ship you have never liked and probably never will. 13. Do you prefer art, fic, or vids? Why? Bonus: If someone was to give you a fandom gift, what format would it be? 14. A pairing – platonic, romantic or sexual – that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. 15. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? 16. Do you remember your first OTP? Who was in it? 17. What is your favourite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)? 18. How many fandoms have you written for? How many have you been in, and how many are you still in? 19. Has social media caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? 20. What fandom broke your heart? 21. Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you dislike or even loathe.) 22. Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend. 23. Your rarest fandoms. 24. A fandom you’ve abandoned and why. 25. Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 26. A trope which you are virtually certain to love in any fandom. 27. A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom. 28. How did you first get into fanfic, and what was the first fandom you wrote fic for? 29. Have you ever tried to write for a fandom or ship, and found you couldn’t? 30. Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

#personal #meme #frankenstein's meme #aph austria #shipping #? #the ''austria loves electronica'' is an old one but one i will forever love and defend #also no shade on anyone who does like soulmates (in case that wasn't obvious) #your kink is not my kink and that's okay! #there's beauty in diversity! #etc. etc. lol

[ghoste-catte]

multiples of 3 ✌🏼-sgmdrcklee

@sagemoderocklee you’re really trying to kill me lol

This got long as heck so I’m throwing it behind a cut. Read on for answers and fic recs! (Mostly the fic recs)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

This is a tough one to answer for me generally because I tend to spit words onto the page and once I have written them I no longer remember writing them. And 2020 has stretched on so long that as I’m looking at some of the stuff I wrote in the beginning of this year, I hardly remember what’s even in it. I think at one point someone (@goblin-draws maybe?) mentioned a line in Sleeptalk with Me where the innkeeper calls Kankuro “chubby boy”, and I was like “Oh ... did I write that? Yeah, sounds like something I’d have someone say to Kankuro ...” 

It might be easier to talk about this in other terms. One of the scenes I worked the hardest on this year was the fight scene in Chapter 3 of Skeleton Key. The original draft of the scene was a lot shorter, and a lot of the backstory for Misaki’s revenge quest was elided. The scene as originally written was clunky, confusing, and as my lovely wife/beta put it sounded “like a Naruto villain” was doing the dialogue, when previously she’d found Misaki sinister and intriguing. Which wasn’t what I wanted. I basically entirely overhauled the scene and re-wrote it several times. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’ scene (I hate writing fight scenes generally; having chosen to immerse myself in a fandom about ninja where much of the drama comes from battle is my eternal regret), but it is a scene that I put a lot of effort into, and I’m moderately satisfied with the improved product that resulted.  

6. least popular fic this year

By far my least popular fic by kudos ever is Pitch Perfect. Which makes complete sense to me. It’s a fic where I’ve written 2 characters who are men in canon as cis women, which pushes a lot of uncomfortable buttons for a lot of people. It contains F/F smut, which is something that a lot of people who choose to read GaaLee probably aren’t out there looking for. And people comment and kudos less on smutfics, I assume because they don’t want their username attached to porn or because they’re embarrassed (which I totally get, no shame there). It’s a modern AU with a sports twist, and AUs are often less popular than canonverse in my experience. I will say though that it has a surprisingly high number of private bookmarks compared to other fics with comparable hit and kudos counts. So I assume people are just a bit more shy because the premise is so ‘out there’. I will say as far as my fics go, it’s one of my personal favorites and probably one of the most intimate and true-to-life things I’ve written? So it actually is a little comforting to know that something so vulnerable has relatively little attention. 

9. longest wip of the year

If we’re going based on stuff that’s partially published but not complete, my Gaara-adopts-Shinki fic On My Way Home is my longest in-progress fic at just over 20k words, although technically I started it in 2019. It will probably end up being right around 40-50k when it’s complete, which might end up situating it as my longest fic ever? 

12. favorite character to write about this year

Okay, this is an easy one. I love writing Kankuro. I think he is hilarious. He is the devil on my shoulder and a creature of pure id, and every time I write a line of dialogue for him it’s the summation of my rudest thoughts about a situation put in the crudest possible terms. If there were a megaphone directly from my unfiltered brain giving running commentary, that would be Kankuro.

15. something you learned this year

I have learned SO much this year! This is only my 2nd year properly ‘focusing’ on writing fic and investing any substantial time into it. I think the biggest thing I have learned, though, is how to overcome a lot of my self-consciousness about writing stories with NSFW elements in them. Starting out, I was so extremely shy and mortified about writing fic at all, much less things like hugging or (god forbid!) kissing. So taking on the smut prompts I took this year and really buckling down on learning to write the mechanics and emotions of sex has been a massive learning experience. (And sorry, by the way, if I haven’t gotten to a prompt you sent me in January yet. I do intend to write all of them eventually!) 

18. current number of WIPs

Ah. The call-out question. My general fic process is idea -> outline -> wip -> edit -> ready to post (where the final draft sits in my docs until I gin up the courage to actually post it). So skipping fics that are just “ideas” on the big mega-list, I have 3 fics in the “outline” stage, 13 fics in the partially written “wip” stage, 1 fic in the “editing” stage, and 2 that are complete but yet-to-be-posted. So, like, 19 total in the offing. (The “ideas” list is even worse lol.)

21. most memorable comment/review

This is such a difficult question because every single comment I get makes me do a little dance for joy. That’s not an exaggeration btw I really sit there and like bounce around in my seat for a moment before I open the Ao3 email. I am not an especially emotive person irl, but there have been times I’ve been brought near tears by comments. I’ll also occasionally show them to my wife like !! look at this nice thing this person said !! and she’s indulgent enough to actually read them. There have been a couple comments that have really stuck with me, that I starred in my inbox and return to frequently, but I don’t want to bring attention to someone else without their permission. I will say there was one person recently who mentioned (not in the comments on one of my fics) that they had found someone who does physical binding of fanfiction and they were about to ask my permission to do that, but then the person who does the binding only does certain ships that she likes ... so that, just, absolutely floored me. The idea that someone might actual want a physical copy of my stupid little ninja fanfictions is, like, so truly immense and completely overwhelming?

24. favorite fic you read this year

You can’t make me pick just one!! (For reference, I have bookmarked right around 180 fics in the past year, and that’s not including fics that I just read, really enjoyed, but didn’t think I could ‘handle’ a second time around.) So, skipping over the ones that AREN’T Naruto ... here is a brief sampling of some faves:

Silica by deepestbluest (rated E, GaaLee, ShikaTema, and Kankiba) - An absolute emotional powerhouse of a fic that manages to skillfully interweave three complex relationship dynamics, satisfactorily resolve them, and give you ALL the sandsibs feels in just over 10k words. 

Childhood Not-Friends (series) by MegaWallflower (rated G, KakaGai) - @megawallflower is a KakaGai god for good reason. Absolutely adorable relationship development fics (five of them!) with the premise that Kakashi thinks he and Gai have been dating since they were kids ... Gai just hasn’t been clued into it yet. These stories will give you heart-eyes.

The Bright Side by gidget_goes (rated T, GaaLee) - This is the Buffy AU I never knew I needed, because I’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But truly you don’t need any Buffy knowledge to enjoy this fic. @gidget-goes command of imagery is masterful, and the way they manage to snap from snark to tugging at your heartstrings is awe-inspiring. Gaara breaks my heart in this. And did I mention Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat? Because Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat. 

Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (rated T, GaaLee) - So introspective and so poetic. This looks like a WIP but it’s actually multiple oneshots, although by the end of the second one you’ll be dying for the rest of the promised series. 

I’m a Fool to Want You by BeelieveRosemarie (rated M, GaaLee) - Turns out @tuttiefruttiegaalee isn’t just an amazing artist, they’re a writer, too! Slow-dancing that will break your heart. Listen to the Frank Sinatra song while you read this for extra tear-jerking effect.

Let Love be Known (series) by TenTomatoes (rated G, GaaLee) - This is the twist on the arranged marriage trope and Beauty and the Beast that I didn’t realize this fandom was missing. I’m absolutely obsessed with their concept of Gaara as the Beast

I Could Be by LilacNoctua (rated T, GaaLee) - I know I big up @lilac-writes Worthwhile series a lot (deservedly so, because it’s so good it makes you look at the series and go “Why the fuck didn’t Kishimoto make this canon exactly like this?”), but this story made me absolutely die between the butterflies in my stomach and how hard I was laughing. There’s one line--you’ll know it when you read it--that absolutely bowls me over every time I re-read this. 

And Then Continue by EgregiousDerp (rated E, GaaLee) - Obviously I’m biased because this was a gift, but @egregiousderp writes some of the the best characterized porn I’ve ever read. You will read this and go “Wow! This is exactly how it would happen!” It’s such a tender, beautiful exploration of Gaara’s insecurities and a very real feeling first time, for all its soft edges. 

Cake by citronelle (rated E, KanKiba) - I don’t even know what to say about this one other than ... phew, this is extremely well written, extremely hot, and extremely in character. Just read it. I promise it’s worth it. 

Saudade by YumKiwiDelicious (rated M, GaaLee) - I’ve run around reccing this to just about every person on the face of the earth at this point. If you’re in the GaaLee Discord you probably saw everyone salivating over every new update of this fic and with good reason. The twists and turns of this fic will have you on the edge of your seat, second guessing every single moment. And it will break your heart in the meantime. What more could you want?

the love potion commotion by floating_cats (rated T, NejiSasu with background GaaLee) - One of those fics where you wish the author’s sense of humor was your own. So many hilarious moments in this story, and it brought me a new appreciation for a ship I never would have even considered. 

Finger Lickin’ Good by whazzername (rated E, GaaLee) - Whazz is another one of those authors where I literally want to rec every single thing she’s ever written, she’s just that good. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t read Fools Rush In and its sequel Degrees of Separation, you’re missing out on the best possible Metal origin story of all time. Don’t deprive yourself of this.) But this story is just ... so incredibly in character for a situation that reads like crack. It’s handled with the utmost straight-facedness and it’s so. freakin’. good. 

heart lines by winterberry_holly (rated M, NejiTen and GaaLee) - I don’t even have the words to describe how perfect this fic is. It’s a truly beautiful exploration of Tenten’s relationship with her palmistry hobby and with the people in her life. My heart ached with every single line. 

Standing on Ceremony by kuroashi (rated E, GaaLee) - This is just ... such a beautiful wedding story. So lovely, like getting the best possible warm hug from someone you love. If that love one was slightly strange and socially inept, because, well. It’s still Gaara doing Gaara-things. @baphometsss is another one of those authors whose handling of smut scenes is so stupendous it makes me wildly jealous. 

Thrall by RokiRiot (rated T, GaaLee) - Idiots-to-lovers with a magic AU twist! This is such a wonderful story, and Gaara’s internal monologue is absolutely amazing. And Lee is Deaf in this fic, which I never ever get to see and which absolutely made my entire day/week/month/life. 

Make-Out Consequences by LuxaLucifer (rated M, KakaGai with background canon Boruto ships) - I laughed so hard reading this that I had to take a breather to stop crying. That’s not an exaggeration. The characterization in this fic is impeccable and the humor is to die for. Naruto’s buffoonery truly shines here, and the author’s wit is just beyond anything I could even properly summarize. Hysterical. A++. 

Thirteen Strokes by Luna_Lee (rated T, GaaLee) - Again, like, if you aren’t reading literally everything @sagemoderocklee writes, are you even really a GaaLee fan? But this fic is beyond even for one of Eeri’s incredibly excellent writings. The worldbuilding in this, the cultural notes, the imagery ... it’s all so lush and so fulfilling and so beautiful. It’s a story about love and it’s a story that you can tell has love poured into every single line. I can’t recommend it enough. 

Checkmate by shadowstrangle (rated G, GaaLee) - The pettiness vibes ... this is so funny. Such a cute story and I love Gaara’s sense of humor here. Not a lot of writers give him a sense of humor, but I love how @shadowstrangle gives him a slightly odd, slightly left-of-center take on humor that still manages to be so funny. 

To Court a Village by FanFictionEngineer (rated G, GaaLee) - Another one where my bias is perhaps slightly obvious, but the premise of this fic is amazing. I love cultural misunderstandings, and the idea of Lee trying his hardest to court Gaara ineptly is just so perfect. 

affliction of feeling by theformerone (rated E, SakuHina) - One of those ships that it would never have occurred to me to seek out but that absolutely works with how the author’s set it up. The dynamics here are delicious. It’s so rare to find good F/F porn but this is one of them for sure. 

Tried and Tested by twentysomething (Rated M, KakaIru with background canon Boruto ships and GaaLee) - Iruka’s narration in this story is just incredible. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a fic in ages. And the concept alone (that Naruto can’t be promoted to Hokage until he passes his chuunin exams ... as an adult ... and Sasuke gets dragged along for the ride) is just brilliant. Amazing concept, amazingly executed. 

a fireside waltz by winterberry_holly (rated M, GaaLee) - I really tried not to rec a single author more than once here but for this one I had to. I got about halfway through this fic and immediately started running around ringing the town crier bell like READ THIS FIC! READ THIS FIC! An absolutely smoldering Regency AU with such beautiful, intimate dance scenes. My heart was racing every single time their fingers brushed. If you don’t read anything else on this list, at the very least read this. 

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

I really can’t pick just one. I am lucky enough that @egregiousderp passes me her drafts under the table before (or without) publishing, and getting to read those is a private treat of unparalleled proportions. Some of my favorite things I’ve read this year I can’t even rec because they’re her unpublished stuff. 

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

This is gonna come off strange because I just wrote such a long Naruto reclist, but I recently watched What We Do in the Shadows, and found an incredibly talented group of authors in that fandom with really amazingly good dialogue and narrative voice. I also read a lot of fic for the new It movies (even though I couldn’t watch the 2nd one for ~reasons~), and damn if there isn’t a talented crop of authors in that fandom, too. And finally with ATLA making its way onto Netflix, I had the chance to start watching that for the first time and found a ton of really good fic there as well! 

fanfic end of the year asks!

#answered #ask meme #sagemoderocklee #Anonymous

[laynefaire]

Fic Writer Questions

I was tagged by @haztobegood and @becomeawendybird to answer these questions. Thanks, y’all. I am so uncomfortable because I am so bad about talking about my writing.  

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 45 - 43 in the 1D fandom.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?  359,791 (holy shit how did that happen?)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 2 fandoms for posted works, - 1D and Twilight. I also have three started Drarry fics and a few original pieces. 

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Well - my very top fic isn’t technically my fic, which actually makes me kind of sad that it’s not something that’s wholly mine, to be honest. However, for fics that are solely my writing, my top five are -

Take Your Time (11556 words) Kudos: 688 

Day 24: Trust In Me (6737 words) Kudos: 301 

As The World Falls Down (1352 words) Kudos: 285  

This Fragile Heart (WIP- 4771 words) Kudos: 265 

Before It Gets Beautiful (15700 words) Kudos: 245

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I would have to say the two fics in the Before it Gets Beautiful ‘verse - only because they’re both open-ended. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? LOL Everything else, I suppose. No, Honestly? I’d have to say For Evermore - it is a fairytale, after all. 

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Does writing a remake of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast count as a crossover? 

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind? I do - but I’m unsure what is meant by ‘what kind’. I write what I like, and what fits the scene/story/characters. 

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? For the most part, yes. Not always right away, though I am trying to be better about responding sooner. As for why - I honestly would just like to spark conversations with the people who read my stories - I would love it if people would send me asks about my stories, or just talk to me about my writing in general. It’s not as much fun to throw things into a void and pray someone likes it. 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Unfortunately yes - several times, both on AO3 and in my asks. 

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? I did when I was still writing Twilight fic. 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge, and I don’t allow translations, either. 

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have! The aforementioned top kudos fic in my AO3 stats - it was a round robin collaboration with nearly two dozen other writers as a gift for @louandhazaf as a birthday gift. I only knew like 4 of them before that collab, and I’m now honored to call all of them friends. 

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? I have two - Ziam and Drarry. 

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? This Fragile Heart. The first chapter is posted on AO3 because I can’t bear the thought of taking it down, but the fandom and circumstances are so much different now than they were when I started writing it, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to recapture how I felt when I was first inspired to start it. 

16) What are your writing strengths? UGGGGGGHHHHH this is the part I hate to talk about... as I’m probably my own worst critic. Based on the comments I receive, I would have to say its believability, dialogue, and descriptions. I do so much research for fics - even short ones - because I want the details right. I love writing dialogue and using it as a means to move the story. And finally, I love writing descriptions that help make the story immersive. 

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Probably over-fixating on the details. I also have a tendency to self-edit the shit out of what I write, so it takes me forever to finish things. I legitimately spent over two hours editing one small 1K  scene today because I kept reworking the sentences over and over. Of course, it’s now nearly a 1700 word scene *facepalm*

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? If you are capable of doing it, I say go for it! I’ve used phrases from other languages in my writing- and made sure to have a native speaker check them for accuracy.  I have a fic I’m working on now where the main character is English, living in New Orleans, and speaking to a Creole co-worker with patois scattered throughout their conversation. 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Twilight - I started off writing Jasper/Bella fics, then moved on to Jasper/Edward, Edward/Carlisle, Jacob/Emmett, etc. 

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? NONONONONONO!! Don’t do this to me!! It definitely has to be one of my Ziam fics - because I feel like I put so much more into writing them. I’d have to say I have three favorites, honestly - Live a Thousand Lifetimes - because I poured a lot into that fic emotionally, For Evermore - because I had the opportunity to reimagine my favorite fairytale, and my current WIP Shadow Dancing - it’s the longest thing I’ve ever written, and while there is a love story in it, it’s more a story about acceptance, believing in yourself, and knowing your truth. 

I’m not sure who has and has not done this, so I’m going to tag a few people - @lightwoodsmagic @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @disgruntledkittenface @a-brighter-yellow 

Also you see this, and you want to do it - please consider yourself tagged - and let me know so I can reblog your post! 

#Fic Writer Questions #writer memes #about me #my writing

[theforsakenprince]

Guardians au

I’ve had the idea for this au for a while now sooo introducing the Sanders sides/destiny au! (it was bound to happen at some point lskdjhg)

It probably won’t be a chaptered fic or anything, just a few ficlets here and there. 

Disclaimer this isn’t going to be organized this is just me throwing my ideas down

SO

Virgil

He’s obviously a hunter

Like look at him

He wears the longest cloaks

He’s an awoken and has long hair that he sometimes puts up in a ponytail 

I feel like he would be a Nightstalker most of the time though he will reluctantly use arc if necessary

Solar is a bit too flashy for him

He was rezzed somewhere on Earth sometime before the events of Rise of Iron

He named his ghost Luna and she is probably the most outgoing ghost you’ll meet

So basically the polar opposite of Virgil

When he was rezzed, he woke up with a journal he had written when he was alive

Most of it doesn’t make sense to him

He doesn’t allow anyone but Luna to read it

He participates in the Crucible sometimes, but not a ton

He stays FAR away from the Drifter and Gambit when he comes to the Tower

He’s very protective of his cloaks and will stab anyone who touches them without consent

If he let’s you touch them, it means he trusts you a lot

Roman

He’s a human Titan that mostly uses solar light

The void terrifies him and he doesn’t understand how Virgil uses it so much

He was rezzed on the moon around the same time as Virgil

His ghost, Pluto, was accompanied by Patton-1, a kind exo hunter who helps ghosts find their guardians all over the system

Pluto is a shy and careful ghost that gets a heart attack everytime Roman does something reckless (which is all the time. Pluto has to revive him a lot)

He participates in the crucible a lot and he’s GOOD at it

He’s very skilled with a sword

Shaxx loves him

He doesn’t like the Drifter and thinks the vanguard should kick him out

The feeling is mutual

Roman loves fashion and dressing up and he’s probably the best dressed Titan you’ll encounter

He loves buying a lot of different shells for Pluto and while Pluto prefers simple shells, he goes along with it since it makes Roman happy

He also loves getting gifts for his friends

He got Luna a new ghost shell one Dawning and if she could cry she would have

He also got Logan robes with constellations on them 

Roman just loves his friends okay

Logan

He’s an awoken Warlock that’s been alive since the Dark Age

Basically the embodiment of the *takes off glasses* ‘I’ve seen enough’ meme

He mainly uses arc light but doesn’t really mind using the others

He makes sure to have a well of radiance or a rift ready whenever he goes on missions with his dumbass fireteam

His ghost, Lux, doesn’t talk much, but when she does it’s usually helpful information or a sarcastic comment

He can usually be found patrolling planets

You will rarely find him in the crucible

Shaxx probably doesn’t know his name

His apartment in the city is mostly used as a storage space for the interesting things he finds around the system

He basically lives in his ship

He prefers to go on solo strikes/missions (But he does enjoy the others company)

Roman got him fake glasses for his revival day because “nerds wear glasses”

Logan was not amused

Basically the adult of the group

Probably needs a coffee

Patton-1

He’s an exo hunter 

Probably the most cheery hunter in the city

He mostly uses solar light but is okay with anything

His ghost is named sheila and she’s basically the mom friend

Like most hunters, he doesn’t spend much time in the city

Patton spends most of his time taking ghosts to other planets and helps them find their guardians

That’s actually how he met Roman, by helping Pluto find him

He’s friends with tons of ghosts (and guardians) and somehow remembers all their names

He likes to decorate his apartment in the city but rarely stays there

He likes to introduce himself as Pat-one because he likes terrible puns and I think it’s funny

Not much to say about him tbh he’s just a nice hunter that helps ghosts out occasionally

Janus

He’s a human warlock that’s been alive as long as Logan has, if not longer

He doesn’t talk much and his ghost, Calypso, does most of the talking for him

Although he does start talking more once he meets the others

He prefers to use void light, but is okay with anything

He’s very good at being a sniper and frustrates anyone who goes against him in the crucible

Roman thinks it’s cowardly to hang back and not put himself at risk

He’s just salty because he died to Janus about 15 times in a row

Janus doesn’t mind the Drifter’s presence and probably plays the most Gambit out of everyone except Remus

He thinks the Vanguard aren’t the right people to lead the city, and that feeling is only reinforced when Cayde dies

He usually patrols on his own and sometimes isn’t seen for days at a time

His favorite place to patrol is Io

Every time someone asks him what his name is, he gives a different answer

Remus

He’s a human titan that was rezzed sometime before the events of the Red War

His ghost, Callum, rezzed him on the moon

He doesn’t have an elemental preference 

Most guardians avoid him since they don’t know what to make of him

Callum has to rez him a lot because of his... unusual plans

They do work though

Doesn’t stop Callum from being tired of his shit

Eventually, Janus notices him and they become the unlikeliest pair of friends

He practically lives in his ship 

His favorite place to patrol is Titan because of the monster under the ocean

The only thing stopping him from looking for it himself is Callum

So he spends most of his time watching it in the arcology

Although he isn’t as good as Roman, he’s still decent in the crucible

Of the entire group, Remus spends the most time in Gambit, mostly for the gear

(He’s an excellent invader)

 I have no idea how to end this uhh keep a lookout for more of this au because I will be writing a LOT for it

Feel free to ask questions about it!

#this got long oops #long post #sanders sides #ts sides #destiny #destiny 2 #guardians au #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts janus #ts remus #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #arctic's writing #I'm so nervous about posting this au ;-;

[phantomchick]

My wip list

Writing out my list of works in progress in the hopes that it becomes more manageable and easier to decide which to work on after I do.

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Call Me  Fandom: dc comics / batfandom Summary: Jason calls Bruce for help after being assaulted, they deal with the aftermath both in the revenge way and the hurt/comfort way. Amount of work necessary to complete: ??? It’s a two parter fic so only one chapter left to go, however serious writer’s block to work through on this second part so who actually knows.

I tell myself that I don't need Anyone (But the truth is no one needs Me)   Fandom: dc comics / batfandom Summary: The scene in UTRH where Bruce throws a Batarang into Jason’s throat is bullshit especially because there’s never any consequences for it, that’s not just bullshit, it’s batshit! And I refuse to accept it. A What if Jason didn’t disappear into the night after the events of UTRH to arrange for his next villain appearance, fix it fic. Amount of work necessary to complete: Likely going to be one of my longest fics yet, a multi chapter whopper!  Which means a lot of work, both in research and in writing.  I need to read up on ALL of the modern captain atom comics, a bunch of the crisis event chemo Bludhaven comics and maybe a couple of other ancillary comics of that era too, before I even get to writing the nitty gritty of the fic. We’re doing this canon and we’re doing it right! A fixing-everything motivated fic putting the canon divergence back into fandom.

The Many Curses of The Wayne Name / Of Curses and Covenants Fandom: dc comics/batfandom Summary: So much of a work in progress the official title’s still not completely decided! A fic delving into the relationship between the Wayne Family and the Zatara family, told through a series of curses various generations of the Waynes have been afflicted with over the years, some of these curses the Zataras were able to remove and some they couldn’t. Currently intend to have it end with Zatanna and her nephew Zach coming to dinner with Bruce and his kids. Amount of work necessary to complete:  I already have an index of curses and which Waynes in the chronology get cursed where, ready to build with. But the series itself is still more a couple of lines and potential scenarios than any actual fic. Not sure how many stories I’ll end up telling here so unsure of how much work it’ll be to complete, likely a lot to get it off the ground though.

The Monster In The Man Fandom: Merlin, (bbc) Merlin, Summary: A continuation to CaffeinatedFlumadiddle's fic The Monster in the Mirror that ended on a horror-esque cliffhanger - written because my brain couldn’t handle the cliffhanger and had to extrapolate with a part two. Intended as a gift fic to that author. Basically the spell from an enchanted mirror has escaped and possessed Merlin, and is attempting to use Merlin’s worst fears against him until he kills Arthur. Can Arthur who has only just found out about Merlin’s magic save Merlin from what’s inside him? Amount of work necessary to complete:  Currently at a little over 5000 words but likely to need at least another 5000 to both get to the main action and resolve things.

Those Winter Sundays  Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Iron Man Summary: Snapshots of Tony working hard for the avengers and no one noticing. Amount of work necessary to complete:  Unknown as currently more of a wip idea than a wip itself, likely going to be a oneshot containing a bunch of ficlets.

Truth is Treason in the Empire of Lies Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Thor Summary: Thor tells the story of his banishment and return to Asgard ending with Loki falling into the Void and the Avengers have some questions, questions Thor had not thought of, remarks on things that Thor doesn't know how to explain.  He goes to Loki's cell and asks him some things becoming more and more angry despite having no one he can punch. Gets drunk and criticises Sif and The Warriors Three. Focus on Loki still being underage by Aesir standards during Thor 1. “For while the Treason I detest, the Traitor I love still.” Amount of work necessary to complete:  Either a oneshot or a two chapter fic. Need to be careful to ‘show not tell’ considering the plot I’m going with is gonna have a lot of talking about things that have already happened.

A Trinity of Head Wounds Fandom: DC Comics, Justice League Summary: Friendship fic, angst and hurt/comfort Clark yells at a concussed Bruce for being reckless and because Bruce is concussed he ends up accidentally making the slightly addled Bruce cry. When Clark notices he shuts his mouth so fast he could've crunched titanium between his teeth. Diana walks in, sees Bruce in tears and PUNCHES CLARK ACROSS THE ROOM WITHOUT HESITATION. After that there’s a lot hurt/comfort on all sides and Clark opens up about his anxiety over Bruce’s mortality and Diana bleeds on Bruce’s shoulder. Amount of work necessary to complete: It’s a oneshot but it’s one of those difficult ones where you’ve got to get everything just right or the emotional intent gets totally lost so a big ??? for this one too.

Separation  Fandom: DC Comics, UTRH Summary: Split personality disorderRed Hood and Jason Todd, alternatively, Red Hood is a demon/parasite latched on to Jay. Amount of work necessary to complete: A lot considering it’s currently just an idea.

A Stark in The Stars Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Iron Man Summary: Tony’s survived the universe wide disaster known as the snap or the decimation and has even survived carrying out it’s reversal, but he’d much rather help Thor, Carol and the Guardians sort out intergalactic repair efforts than face the damage Steve has accidentally done to time itself back on Earth. He keeps forgetting the differences between what happened in the fake timeline and the original one the longer he’s on Earth and though he knows Stephen Strange is doing all he can to fix it, he also knows that the changes for him are a lot more confusing and disconcerting than they are for the others (Save for poor Sharon Carter).  Pepper understands better than anyone and actually packed his bag for him (with Morgan’s help) when he tried to explain what he was feeling. Maybe the little settlement on that mineral loaded planet he keeps visiting on behalf of the dwarves can help him find what he needs to get past this. Amount of work necessary to complete: This is a slower more thoughtful work about learning how to live when you never thought you’d survive and the sense of alienation you can get as a veteran returning to a world that isn’t the way you expected it to be when you got home. As such, it’s very introspective, so I want to take my time with it but realistically it’s likely to be a series of vignettes from both Tony’s perspective and the perspective of the people he encounters out in his travels through the galaxies. Max 5 chapters.

Another Time, Another Place Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Martha and Thomas Wayne are sent 20 years into the future only to see a young man they've never met standing in their drawing room. He claims to be their grandson. I just love the idea of Jason being left in the house with Damian and Duke with Bruce, Tim and Dick gone and he's the eldest so he's gotta look after the situation Amount of work necessary to complete: However long it takes me to get past the writer’s block for the ending - I have most of a plot outline ready to write based on, except for how I’m going to resolve things. A oneshot with the possibility of an epilogue chapter to follow.

Vicki Finds A Bat Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Vicki Vale sees Jason Todd sitting in a wafflehouse. Chaos ensues. Amount of work necessary to complete:  Currently a little over 2000 words, probably gonna need an extra 2000 before it’s done.

You Don't Know Anything  Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Gift fic for paradise_runaway. One where the other Bat boys find out the circumstances of Jason's death and resurrection and their reaction. Amount of work necessary to complete: Started and restarted multiple times, can’t decide which route to take with it. It’s just a oneshot so once I get some inspiration to hit for it, it’ll probably be done pretty quick.

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#wip list #writing is hard #i have more wips besides these #but these are the ones I'm focusing on #i promise i don't hate steve rogers but the ending of endgame with old man steve was terrifying when you think about it #the implications!!!! #my wips #so many wips #covers gen abo ficlet wip with my whole body #you saw nothing

[heartofsnark]

Why They Would Never Cheat On MC (KBTBB Headcanon..?)

Note: This isn’t meant to be anything against cheating fics or the people who write them.I like reading some cheating fics, every now and then you just gotta suffer. Besides, I write disgusting kink stuff, so I can’t judge. Hell, Voltage writes cheating fics for their own game. I’ve just seen people legitimately thinking certain characters would cheat, which as someone who uses otome games for escapism and projecting onto the MC, it can be kind of disheartening. So, here’s why I think the bidders would never cheat on MC.

Also, Baba and Mamoru’s are the longest ones cause I had to rant for the wonderful man that is Baba and Mamo is my beautiful grumpy old man bias.

As despised as the cliche “Not like other girls” is, it really reigns true for Eisuke’s MC and how he sees her. It takes a special, incredibly patient woman to be with Eisuke. Not to mention finding a woman who truly cares for him and not his money or status has always proved difficult. He’s also said before that MC is the first woman to stay with him. This tells me all of his past relationships were about being used, not being loved. MC is a blessing to him, one he wonders if he truly deserves. Cheating to him would be the equivalent of throwing away a rare jewel to grab a piece of gravel. He chose the perfect partner, even if they don’t realize it, and he has no intention of tossing them aside for anyone else.

Soryu literally doesn’t like any other woman and probably never has. Within a substory he did mention having lost his virginity in a life or death situation, but unless there’s something mentioned in his seasons I haven’t read yet, I think that would be his only experience before MC. Other women have absolutely no appeal to him, MC is the one who taught him what it’s like to be in love. She’s the one who showed him domestic bliss, something he never thought he could have. Even if he did like women more, his principles are highly important to him. Betraying and hurting someone who means so much to him isn’t an option, ever. He loves the life he’s built with MC and never wants to hurt her.

Baba gets so much fucking shit about being a potential cheater and I am not here for it. Yes, before getting together with his MC, he enjoyed casual, open, relationships. But, that doesn’t mean he’s some hound dog just looking for the chance to cheat. He loves MC, more than anything. She’s his goddess and the one who stole his heart. He wants domesticity and a sense of family, both his found family and eventually kids, but his own  insecurities and fears/ of hurting someone have always prevented him from getting that close to someone. MC is the one who finally broke through that, he’s finally building a life with someone and if you think he’s about to throw that away just to get his dick wet, you’re out of your mind. Plus, he gushes about MC so much any potential mistress would be turned off. Seriously, half the time he’s being nice to random women, he’s probably just waiting for a chance to talk about how much he loves MC.

Ota is a weird bean, but a loyal one nonetheless. In one of his substories, he literally says he doesn’t eat dinner alone with other women because he doesn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. I don’t know if this was before or after the Amina stuff, but I like to think after that he became even more persistent about never giving MC a reason to doubt him. He might like to tease and be playful, pretending he’s giving MC’s gifts to other women or when he pretended to fall for Sakiko, but he’d never betray MC. Finding people he trusts is rare, after everything he’s been through and seeing how quick people can turn on him or leave him, his relationship with MC is precious. He’d never say it out loud, cause vulnerability is gross, but it means everything to him that MC is still standing beside him no matter what. 

Mamoru only has eyes for MC, the very concept of cheating on her is just ridiculous to him. His actual reaction to suddenly being surrounded by attractive women who all want his dick was to confusedly yell for MC and go home. When said women approach him again while he’s alone, he tries to shoo them off like flies. It legitimately hurts his feelings when he thinks MC might not trust him to be faithful and he’s confused when the bidders talk about him possibly cheating; “Why would I cheat on her, I’m gonna marry her.” If pried for details as to why he wouldn’t cheat, he’d probably say because it’s a hassle and he’s already got his hands full with MC. The truth though, he knows damn well he hit the lottery with his MC. Despite all his huffy complaints, he found a woman who loves him for him, cooks for him, cleans for him, is adorable, and calls him out on his bullshit. She’s so ingrained in his life, losing her would be losing his home. There’s no fling worth risking that.

#kissed by the baddest bidder #kbtbb #eisuke ichinomiya #soryu oh #mitsunari baba #mamoru kishi #ota kisaki #kbtbb eisuke #kbtbb soryu #kbtbb baba #kbtbb mamoru #kbtbb ota #long post

[sansy-fresh]

halp

It’s time for the Semi-Annual “Fresh is Never Leaving This Fandom!” fic idea tour! In which under the cut I’m going to talk about fics I’m currently working on and how much longer I expect them to be, as well as long fics I have ideas for and how lengthy I expect them to be in the long run. There’s gonna be probably spoilers so look away if you don’t wanna see them! Also this is really long so be prepared for that.

I’m also going to be discussing some of the mini series that people have funded recently, so there’s that lol

Anyways, ranting and rambling under the cut!! This is more or less a way to keep excited about some of my ideas and get some of you hyped as well ^^ (And also a way to assure anyone wondering “hey, fresh has been here for a while, are they ever leaving?” that the answer is no, apparently not)

Current Fics

Okay so I have around 5 long fics, 1 series, and 1 mini series I’m currently working on. They are as follows:

A Silver Chain: A fic about vampire Honey and polyruses with the other Paps being hunters. Is well on its way but needs re-done in a few places so its currently on hiatus.

Little Fangs: A fic about Dadby and older bro Papyrus with babybones and Badster. Is not even close to halfway done, depending on how far I end up going with the narrative. Might end up being one of the longest fics I write.

Moral Compass: A fic about assumed bad brothers and possible Blackcherry goodness. Is basically 3/4ths done at this point, isn’t meant to be a super long one. Was pretty much completely funded by @1readervb so shout out to them for being a super cool peep.

Hold Myself Together: A fic about Bad Bro Red and how Fell gets a better life. Just started, but based on how long the first iteration of this story was, I’d say this one will be a little longer than C&S ended up being. 

Garish: A fic about a Reader who ends up with the Swell bros as roommates. Might end up being both Reader/Swell bros and Reader/Fell bros, but I haven’t decided. Just started, might be a long one.

Bitter White Memory: A series about how Fell and Stretch get together based on an attempt to keep the Edgelord feeling safe. Only has two parts so far so nowhere near done. I’ve just been too busy to write the next part lol whoopsies

Cherries in Snow: A funded mini series about abused Red falling into Undertale, with Kustard and a little tiny helping of Cherryblossom. One chapter so far, but there should only be about five so it won’t take super long.

There’s also two more mini series that have been funded, but one I only have part of the info on and the other I have no info on, so they haven’t been started yet. (One of them is about Omega Paps in a A/B/O world so that’ll be fun ;;;))

Fics I want to Continue/Rewrite

This is a list I didn’t know I was adding until I was in the middle of making this post. There are a few fics I’ve started and then pretty much abandoned, or that I left behind because I no longer wanted to write them. They are:

The Reset Conundrum: A fic that I wrote a long time ago and never finished about Papyrus and Sans going through the Resets and various endings together, with a happy ending of course. It was a popular one, but I never finished it because I got bored with the idea. I was thinking about it recently and kind of wanted to revisit the idea. Its on this list because I might just do it.

The Ole Razzle Dazzle: A fic I started and then revamped as a fic about Razz and Slim and how they react to a pacifist Chara moving through the Underground. Kinda looking forward to this one, not going to lie.

Sparks and Wires: A fic that I started because of my love for the game D:BH and its androids. About Android Honey and his owner Fell, and how they fall in love. Basically self indulgent Spicyhoney lol

Long Fic Ideas

So just about once every other week I get a new fic idea, and if I like them enough (and can actually imagine myself writing them) I write them down in a doc. Now I’m going to talk about them all in as much detail as I have so ya’ll get comfy this is gonna be a long’n. (These are not up for adoption they are things I plan to write myself.)

The Great: A fic idea @badgertablet came up with and I helped round out. Ambassador Paps with a side of Polyruses and lots of angsty pining and hurt/comfort. Is going to be a longer fic, since there’s a lot of background stuff and quite a bit to set up. I’m really really looking forward to this one though, is going to be a gift for Badg (but shoosh no one tell them).

Family Portrait: A fic idea for Middle Bro Gaster with Paps and Sans. Basically going from Sans’ birth to Gaster falling into the Core to the kid saving everyone and Sans pulling Gaster back out of the Void. Is going to be super long, so probably won’t get to this one for a while lol

Scattered Pieces: A fic idea for a character getting bitties that helps their life out. Lots of angst and hurt/comfort, as each bitty has its own backstory of woe. One I’ve had planned for a while but haven’t been able to sit down a write.

A Concerted Effort: A fic idea where Fell and Stretch have a one night stand and Fell ends up pregnant. The two of them don’t get along super well most of the time so its not like he can tell him, right?? Another old idea I just haven’t started yet lol.

Itty Bitty Teenie Weenie: A fic idea where a different character gets some specialty bitties, ones that need a bit more help than others. In the same universe as Scattered Pieces, probably going to be written after that one.

Segregation: A fic idea that @nurse-gaster came up with that I adopted. Bledgeup in a world where Fell monsters and Tale monsters live on different sides of the fence, a literal fence in this case. Going to be a gift for Nurse when I start writing it lol.

Recovery: A fic idea where a personal character of mine fosters special needs bitties and ends up with one for himself. Is part of a two fic series. 

Caramelized Apples: A fic idea where my Caramel version of Slim ends up pregnant. I haven’t decided how yet, but its hurt/comfort and fluff, so no hard angst here!

Edgy but Smiling: A fic idea where an anxious Reader ends up with a Sansy and an Edgy who just want a good home. 

You Got Me All Fired Up: A fic idea with Sans/Dante (my UF Grillby). I don’t know I just really like Sans and Fellby together and I want to write a slowburn.

Harried and Torn: A fic idea about Spicykustardpuff with lots of angst and hurt/comfort and maybe some fluff along the way. A slowburn because I’m a masochist.

Nice To Eat’cha: A fic idea based on the Asian side of the fandom’s art of Farmer Sans/HT Sans. Won’t be farmer Sans, but it will be a slowburn of Sans and Butch learning how to not judge each other for their own sins.

Seen in Glorious Splendor: A fic idea I had earlier today actually. King Fell, with possible Edgepuff or Polyruses, I haven’t decided yet. My own take on how Fell takes over as King of the Underground from Asgore.

There are a lot of iterations of Skelebros/Reader I want to write, so I’m just throwing a blanket over them called “Eventually”. Them being namely Swap Bros/Reader, Tale Bros/Reader, a reverse harem in my style, HT Bros/Reader, and something just Papyrus/Reader (which Papyrus you ask? all.)

And my Magnum Opus, Safe House, will be the last fic I write for this fandom. So when I start posting that, you’ll know we’re nearing the end.

#fresh babbles #fic plans #long fic ideas #oneshot ideas #series ideas #fresh rants #spoilers #idk a lot of rambling #if i forgot a fic idea then ill just die i guess

[officialthiamlibrary]

Welcome to another profile on Behind the Screens, giving you personal insight on who your favorite creators are and what they do when they aren’t wowing you with their creative ability.

On this profile, we’ll learn more about Tagan, also known in our pack as ThiamFresh or CaptainMintyFresh. The author of Airplanes, Sweet Talking, and a plethora of other Thiam prompts and stories, Tagan shares bits about her life, her writing process, her ideal road trip buddy, and her tips for creating tension-filled relationships.

Hi, Tagan! Let’s start off simple. Using a sentence, where the word count is either equal to or less than the number of letters in your two favorite Teen Wolf characters’ name, tell us about yourself. 

Theo Raeken + Derek Hale = 19: I’m Tagan. Love to write and act. I have a terrible sense of humour. Generally an accident prone mess. 

Talking about Teen Wolf characters, which five characters would be on your Ultimate Paintball/Laser Tag team and why? 

Theo, Malia, Allison, Liam, Stiles. Right, so I want Theo because like boy’s a master tactician/manipulator and he’s ruthless. Boy would 100% shoot 10 year olds to win and that’s the kind of person I want on my paintball team. Malia, again, she would have no qualms about just decimating the other team. Allison because she is an amazing shot; her role would be stealthing her way through the field to take people out/sniping everyone else while the ‘ground team’ does the closer stuff. Liam because he’s athletic and competitive. Stiles because he’s good at coming up with plans, plus...you know..he’d be really good bait for the other team.

Omg he would be! Now, before those characters blessed us with their existence, we found love and OTPs in other ones. What would you say were your first ships, way back in the day?

I’m not sure if this counts but Ant and Dec? I thought they were married but if not, then Monica and Chandler or Spike and Buffy. The first fanfiction I read was for Dramione.

And, how did you land in the Thiam Family? What about Theo x Liam drew you in?

I really liked their scenes in 6A (And some of the scenes in 5 but honestly, I hated five as a whole and watched it out of duty more than anything so I just didn’t have the enthusiasm to get into a ship.) Theo was the first bit of 6A that i actually really liked and a lot of that was just down to his sass and a lot of it was directed at Liam. And then the car key scene had me cackling with laughter. There scenes were just..fun in a way the rest of the season lacked, at least to me. So I was pretty invested in their whole dynamic and then there was ‘Being the bait’ and ‘do you know how to ride a horse’ and I was pretty sold. I went to search for Thiam content then but didn’t find any so just went back to writing the fics for other fandoms I was doing then and didn’t really mind.

But then 6B came out and the second I saw Theo on screen I was thinking “wow i can’t wait for him to see Liam and realised I was a bit more sold on them than I had planned to be and so I searched the tag again and went onto AO3 and read the few fics there but there really weren’t many. 

I’d gotten stuck on all the fics I was doing for other fandoms and so put up a request for prompts and Thiamkey gave me a bunch of headcanons and prompts and then people seemed to like them and started sending them in and then I just...talked to people and they were all lovely and we had all this amazing content coming out every week from the show and more people climbed aboard the ship. More fics being written, more prompts being sent.

Honestly, i just wanted to dip my toe in the water, write a fic or two while I waited for other people to write their own but then i suddenly found myself up to my neck in Thiam and not regretting a second of it.

Let’s jump into writing. Before we dive into the Thiam pool, if your writing process was a person, describe him or her. What does he or she do? Wear? Listen to?

My writing process as a person would probably be a toddler in a room full of toys but instead of playing with them, she just hiding under furniture and has five different conversations with five different imaginary friends at one time. She’s messy, with chocolate ice cream smeared over her face and her hair tangled into nots. She has no real idea about what’s happening but is excited none-the-less. Will have constant tantrums and cry then be excitedly squealing in the next second. ACDC would be playing in the background.

And your writing Kryptonite? How do you fight it?

Procrastination. I’m really bad at focusing on any one thing. Like, if i’m watching a new episode of a show, I’ll play solitaire in the corner of the screen because otherwise, I’m too unfocused to be focused. If that makes any sense. So when I’m writing I have to have a conversation open with someone or have just done a puzzle or something that’s fried my brain a bit so I can focus on writing, but I often end up getting too focused on the other thing and not getting any writing done.

As for how to fight it, I honestly have no idea? I just kinda flit around and hope for the best.

Well, clearly it works for you, so cheers! Do you write novels or short stories about original characters, as well? If so, can you share one you’re particularly passionate about?

Yes i dooo :) I write books. So I’ve written three so far and have like 12 in the works. (There’s a YA series in there which is why there’s so many) um..I’m not sure what i’m particularly proud of so i’m just pasting the first scene I found in my emails which is a scene from a zombie book I wrote called Autumn

Autumn Excerpt:

Sometimes I could forget, for a moment. When the sun was high in the sky and we were strolling through an open field. Weapons held loose in hand, rucksacks tossed over single shoulders. When we were throwing a bottle of water between us, talking about now pointless things, sharing stories and silly jokes. Laughs etched onto our faces as we'd forget all about it. About the past months and the horror we've seen, the people we've lost.

But then a stray would stumble into the field or we’d hear a distant scream and it would come rushing back. Hands quickly going back to locked tightly arrowed our weapons, smiles slipping from our faces.There were also times I couldn't forget, not even for a second. When we lay on rough roof tops, looking up at the dark sky willing to sleep, to get lost in a dream but I could hear it, the scratching of nails against brick, the snap of teeth hitting together and the low, guttural moans. At these times I’d think, this will be the last sound I ever hear. The huffing of the dead, the wet slapping and slurping as they tore and chewed on flesh.

On these nights I’d try to comfort myself, Say that that nightmare sound wouldn't be what I heard, I prayed for a gunshot, dreamed of that rather than the sounds bellow me. Because, these days, you go out one of two ways and a gunshot was everyone's silver lining.

When you mentioned YA series, my back straightened haha. What’s the title of your series? A synopsis for what it’d be about?

Oh god, so the longest one I have to find a new title to because it’s called Gifted and is about people with superpowers and now there’s that The Gifted show out about people with powers so that’s a bit awkward.

Me and my friend wrote a webseries when we were like 14/15 and although we only filmed a tiny bit of it, we actually had the whole thing planned out. Three seasons, 40 episodes and when we stopped working on it I was like “dude can i turn this into a book series?” and he was like “Yeah go ahead.” So I started writing a bit of it.

Gifted follows the story of three childhood friends as they get powers and deal with all the usual coming of age stuff while getting caught up with other people with powers. The first book will be done in alternating POV between the three friends, but that will slowly expand to incorporate the more important characters met along the way.

There’s lots of whump, teenagers dealing with depression and PTSD.  Basically i tried to write a new fairly light hearted story about kids coming of age and dealing with typical super power problems, but then accidentally put them through the ringer and turned it into a mass of character study and angst.

Final question before the barrage of Thiam questions lol. Characters often find themselves in situations they aren’t sure they can get themselves out of. When was the last time you were in a place like that and what did you do? 

The last time I found myself in a situation I couldn’t get out of was this summer and I cried a lot and then made scathing jokes to the reasons I couldn’t get out of the situation with a sunny smile that left the situations unaware that I was trying to figure out how to word a letter that told the situations they need never situate themselves anywhere near me ever again. (I have yet to send those letters.)

Wow, yeah, I’ve been there before. I hope you find the strength/courage to send those letters one day. Since we’re talking about personal experiences, would you say that any of your life has poured over into your Thiam writing?

The only one I can currently think of is the scene in Sweet Talking where Theo’s tired and listening to Liam, Mason and Corey hang out and thinking about how he’ll never really fit in.

My brother had a bunch of friends round before I wrote that chapter, or at least that part of that chapter. I moved away from my home town/all my friends (there’s literally 1 friend but whatever) 3 years ago and haven’t made any friends since. My brother keeps telling me his friends can be my friends but I‘m always the odd man out and it’s just really lonely so I was definitely channeling some inner loneliness into that.

Let’s say you could escape it all and venture on a major Airplanes-esque road trip. Who would you take (real or fictional)? Where would you go? And what is one shenanigan the two of you would run into?

The Queen. I just think it’d be really funny, not to mention you could get in like everywhere for free.

Honestly I think if the queen wasn’t available, I’d want to go with @thiamfanartlove. We’ve only been talking a little while, but we get on really well and I feel like we’d be equally ready to do a bunch of dumb stuff on our journey. I’d want to go around Europe. Hit up @thiamkey on the way and a few other people. 

We would 100% get into a fight at some point because neither of us have any chill. Like, someone would insult one of us and the other would just be down to fight and then it would turn into an all out brawl with us against the world. (We would lose, but it’d be a good story, at least.)

Truth. And one story we’d demand all the details on. You’ve talked a lot about some trivia, inspirations and spoilers for Airplanes in your livestream, which are linked here. So, my questions to you are more about the technique side of your writing, since it’s always amazing to learn from you all.  

You incorporate great character studies into your stories. What would you say are some tricks you use to portray what your characters are thinking?

I think, just finding a way to resonate with the character you’re writing. Even if it’s a character you think you have nothing in common with, I promise you somewhere there’s a memory you have that fits something they’ve felt. 

Liam’s POV was really weird to me at the start of airplanes so I chose to focus on something I could personally understand. Which was the need for freedom but anxiety at what it might cost the other people if you take it and that..kind of self hatred for the anger issues and wishing everything could change. You find a common thread and write that and soon enough you find yourself understanding the character, even in situations or with feelings you’ve never personally been affected by.

I don’t know if that makes any sense? But basically yeah, find common ground and that one scene you can write and then work from there.

And, the tension between your characters. How do you build that tension when it comes to relationships to avoid the instalove phenomenon?

ANGST! I dunno, the easiest way for me to slow down the instalove is the characters being more preoccupied with other stuff than their love lives. I think just..keeping it as real as possible. In my personal experience, love at first sight is rare. You can’t fall in love with someone until you know them so a lot of it is just..giving the characters these little moments that bring them closer together, making them have those conversations that you’d have with your best friend and just slowly drawing closer and closer together as you get more comfortable. Especially in Airplanes when it first starts Liam’s in a pretty bad place mentally. He’s really drained and feeling the weight of everything he’s been through so his mind was just so far away from romance that it seemed wrong to have him noticing any feelings for Theo until he was a bit happier and had healed a bit. Not to mention all the baggage the two have.

Having a character go through that process of questioning their sexuality is fun as well. I mean, Liam so far in canon has been written as straight and that’s a lot of fun to play with because you have that whole realisation process where he has to figure out that what he feels for Theo isn’t entirely platonic and that it’s different from how he feels about Mason or any of the other guys in the show and that can be a really challenging thing to do. Not even in the ‘Oh coming out is scary’ way just in the heteronormative straight until proven otherwise sort of way.

I mean i’m Bi and that took me like...21 years to realise? And it wasn’t that I didn’t have little crushes on girls before it was just I’d never noticed them for what they were. For me the only reason it clicked was because I realised I was Asexual and that my ‘well I don’t want to bone a girl so I’m not gay’ was kinda pointless thing when I realised that I didn’t even want to bone guys. It was just what was expected. Once I took that away and sat down and thought about it, it was suddenly very clear to me. But most characters won’t have that specific nudge so it can be a fairly long road.

Just, to stop instalove think about what they’re going through, think about how you fall in love because the realisation may be instant but the build up is usually gradual. You notice it in one dumb moment but to actually get there, you have a long list of bits where you get to know the other person and you deal with your own personal issues and stuff.

For building tension, it’s again just building up that relationship. You start off small with touches that make the heart speed up before they’re more comfortable and grow closer. Honestly, the best way is just to focus on the friendship first and the romantic relationship second because then you get the familiarity and that’s when you can start having your characters realise there’s something else there and that suddenly makes all these little touches a lot more terrifying and confusing as they try to figure out what it means. 

That’s perfect though. And the gritty realization that most people have about those they’ve fallen in love with since they’ve usually gotten close to that person by that point is terrifying and emotional, so I can now see where that tension comes from! Anything else you’d like to say, in general. The floor is all yours.

Umm okay. I am always accepting prompts but it willlllll take me a while to get to them because i have quite a few and don’t really go chronologically but more where the inspiration hits and sometimes, like with airplanes, that’s my own story rather than a prompt but my ask box is always always open for more prompts.

Upcoming works, I have no idea. Right now, I just want to finish airplanes and then see where I go after that. I do want to play around in the airplanes universe a little bit more after the fic is done with, delving into Theo’s POV for some of the missing scenes and I also might do a short pack scene where you have everyone realise Theo and Liam are gone in the morning in Idaho.

The reason I like sharing my work is because I like the idea that maybe I can help someone and maybe that sounds dumb--but to me--reading is a major escapism technique. I used it a lot when I was younger and this fic and the comments I’ve gotten have just made me so insanely happy because it seems like, maybe for a few people, I’ve reached my goal in helping someone through a bad day or to relax and just forget their worries for a while. And that’s the whole reason I like writing and that’s the first time I’ve ever really felt that and I literally cried when someone told me my updates helped their shitty week before because...that’s the whole reason I want to get into writing or acting as a career and to see I’d achieved that goal was just awesome.

If you’ve sent me a nice message on tumblr and I haven’t replied, it’s not because I didn’t read it or I don’t like it or whatever you might think. It’s because i’m a hoarder and now have a folder wth screen shots of all the nice messages in it, so that I can look at them when I’m having a nice day.

Really, I just want to say that I see everything you guys send or make or comment and I appreciate every single one and just thank you. Life’s been tough for me lately but getting to write for a fandom as accepting and kind as this one is really really amazing and your messages have picked me up when I’ve felt worthless so many times. Just keep being awesome Thiam fandom! And thank you for being so welcoming and supportive of everyone that joins.

Aww thank you! We’re so happy to have you in our fandom and to have Airplanes, your prompts, and other stories. I, and others have shared the same sentiment, agree with you that this fandom is amazing and so supportive of one another that it almost seems surreal! So, go us, lovely pack! 

To finish us off, what’s next for you? Both in life and in the writing world?

For life, I’m hoping to get some acting roles for student films and stuff. Get myself a laptop so I can write more and a camera (eventually) so I can film the scripts I’ve wrote. I also want to send some of my books to publishers and generally try to make a life for myself out of the two things I love doing.

I have a bunch of books I’m working on and I really want to finish writing my YA series because it seems like it could be quite fun once I get a bit more into it.

With that, BTS presents ThiamFresh to you! As always, you can keep the conversation going; respond to any of her thoughts, ask more questions, send a prompt, or simply swing by for a chat with Tagan anytime. To dive into her works, check out both her AO3 and Tumblr. 

Tumblr: thiamfresh

AO3: captainmintyfresh

Ask Box: thiamfresh ask

A huge thank you to Tagan for being so open to answering our questions and sharing her tips on character stories and building tension. 

Some great news, for everyone who enjoys this series, we’ve decided to run Behind the Screens every Thursday. And, we’d love your help in doing it! 

Have a Thiam Creator you fan over, from any platform (AO3, Tumblr, Wattpad, Instagram, FFN, etc). Please send us their names. Bonus points if you include any questions you’re dying to ask them. Likewise, if you as the creator, would like to be a part of the Behind the Screens series, give us a shout too! We’d love to get to know you, as well.

Hasta Luego!

#thiam #behind the screens #teenwolf #thiamfresh #officialthiamlibrary

[artificialqueens]

My loneliness is killing you (Vatya) /Part 9/ - Polly

Author’s Note: So here’s the next MILKY chapter that I had done for the longest time except one paragraph. But times are tough but good (Guess who works 30 hours a week and also has Uni on 2 days). Anyway, this isn’t anything special but I do love this fic so I hope you enjoy!! xx

(PS: I’m rereading ‘A story about love’ and it will come back out of its semi absence soonish (soon as in probably this year) and this is a promise)

TW: mention of human trafficking, mention of underaged prostitution

All Chapters on AO3 and AQ

Sneak into my DM’s (ok its my ask box) here and drop me a line

Summary: ‘How to Get Away with Murder’ trophy wife style. (LESBIAN AU)

(2.1k)

Before

It’s early morning morning and the sun makes the baby hairs around Katya’s face look golden and Violet calls her beautiful. She tells Katya that her parents are in jail, that most her family is in jail, that her parents were con artists and that Violet has stopped calling a long time ago when they breakfast half an hour later. Katya just nods but doesn’t look surprised. Sometimes Violet forgets that Katya didn’t grow up as a pretty spoiled princess either.

“I came to America because my uncle sold me to settle a debt,” she says instead. There’s a pause that stretches on for a long time. Katya starts to look uncomfortable. “Sold you?” Violet asks slowly.

“Yeah.” Violet pauses again and tries to figure out how to just brush over human trafficking but finds it kind of hard to drop it. “How? Why? What? When?” she blurts out instead. Katya laughs a little now. “He was in a gang or the mafia or something. I actually never found out. One day he comes to our house and tells my mom he’s going to America and that I should come because there’s a lot of opportunities there and you know…. my mom…,” she pauses for a moment “she loved me a lot so she said yes. She didn’t know. She couldn’t have known and she meant well. But there I was, 16 years old and in a plane for the first time and I thought that nothing can be this bad when the world can look this small. Then my uncle bought me to a crack house slash brothel slash all things illegal and said 'those people will take care of you Yekaterina. Be good.’” She deepens her voice when she says that and smiles, fucking smiles when talking about her uncle pimping her out. “And then I was there until I was 18 and it was pretty bad.” She doesn’t go into detail and Violet imagines horrible things and knows that it probably was ten times worse. “When I was 18 I was legal and they upgraded me and then I was a high class Russian whore. That’s how I met David.” She shrugs her shoulders and takes a bite of her blueberry muffin and her and Violet stare at each other for a moment, Violet with furrowed brows and Katya almost expectantly while chewing. “It wasn’t that bad,” she adds after a long moment, looking almost sorry. “Right,” Violet breathes out quickly when she realises that a long time has passed without her saying anything. It was bad but it’s too similar to the stories Violet has heard before, stories of her cousins, her friends from school and Violet knows that Katya knows it’s bad too but it’s easier to not acknowledge some things sometimes. And Violet understands how Katya can stay in her abusive relationship for years. This is better than before and sometimes better is as good as it gets.

Christian calls her some time later to tell her that he’s sending a driver for later in the day to get Violet because his parents are coming to town and Violet wants to cry because somehow his mother is even worse than Christian himself.

Katya draws lazy patterns on Violet’s arm and tells her she’s going to be okay. She looks sorry and so much younger when she kisses Violet goodbye later and tries to tell both of them that it will be alright.

- The winter passes in one cold, sad blur. Violet runs into Katya once two days before Christmas and they go for coffee and Katya complains about how for David it all seems to be about money and fancy parties and expensive gifts.

“Our Christmas would be different,” she says.

“Our as in your and my Christmas?”

Katya blinks at her for a moment. “Yeah, your and my Christmas. I think it would be nice.”

“I don’t like Christmas,” Violet says before taking a sip of the hot chocolate with cinnamon Katya had forced her to get while telling her ‘to ‘shut the fuck up about fat percentages and get in the holiday spirit, Violet.’

Katya grabs onto Violet’s underarm with both her hands and looks at Violet manically. “What?”

“I….,” Violet looks at Katya’s face intensely and is suddenly feeling like she’s saying the wrong thing. “…never liked Christmas?”

Katya lets go of Violet’s atm and throws her hands up in surrender with an accompanying groan and Violet thinks she’s being a bit dramatic. “But why? I mean I get that it’s grossly intertwined with capitalism over here but it’s about love and family and all that. Who would hate that?”

“I never said I hate it, I-“

“You didn’t say you love it either, you actually said you never-“

“Can you not interrupt me? I said I don’t like it. It’s not like I hate it.”

Katya is quiet for a moment. “But… why?”

Violet shrugs her shoulders. “My parents were criminals and apparently Christmas was the busiest time of the year. So I spend Christmas at my neighbor’s house. But Pearl’s mom was a drug addict so it wasn’t really that great either.”

“Pearl is a stupid name.”

“You’re only saying that because I told you I had sex with her once.”

“Maybe so.”

Violet only grins back and Katya shakes her head slowly but Violet can see the smile in the corner of her lips.

“Anyway,” Katya continues with an eye roll “if you and I would have Christmas together we’d do it all. Bake all the Christmas cookies, decorate the tree, decorate all the cookies, watch Christmas movies, eat all the Christmas cookies and-“

“What the fuck that’s so domestic. Are you alright,hon?” Violet grins and puts her hand up against Katya’s forehead and pretends to check for her temperature.

Katya bats her hand away with a small laugh. She takes Violet’s hand in between both of her own. “You’re awful,” she says and smiles.

They talk about everything and nothing and Christmas a lot and it’s nice, so nice but then David picks Katya up and his stares make Violets skin crawl.

-

She sees Katya twice after their coffee date. Both times at parties and they can’t really talk but Katya doesn’t look fully miserable and that has to do for now.

When spring comes to New York so does Violet’s cousin Kurtis. Christian suddenly has a business trip that lasts the entirety of Kurtis’ stay. Precisely. Christian tells her to just take Katya to brunch with Kurtis instead and Violet tries to not look too pleased.

Kurtis spends most of the brunch watching Violet and Katya. He kicks Violet under the table once and whispers something about non existing subtlety in her ear while Katya is ordering another coffee.

It’s a bit later, when all three of them are done eating and decided to go shopping that he takes Violet to the side while Katya is trying on shoes on the other side of the store.

“You love her,” he says matter of factly. Violet laughs nervously, glances at Katya and forces Kurtis to try on six pairs of shoes and buys them all. He tries to refuse but Violet insists and mumbles something about birthdays or christmases and it it feels like hush money that she knows won’t work on Kurtis because he would’ve never told anyone in the first place. He doesn’t let it go either though. They’re sitting on the sofa, legs entangled while watching Mean Girls, 15 years old Violet’s favourite, when he brings Katya up again. He puts a hand just above Violet’s knee and looks very serious suddenly. “I just want you to be happy, Vi.“ He looks at her for a moment before looking back to the TV. "Money can’t buy happiness.” Violet doesn’t answer but thinks about their talk long after he left and well into the next year.

She shakes the truthfulness of his words of. Money can’t buy happiness. But money can buy comfort and comfort is better than the crippling feeling of there never being enough to go around.

-

The sun in southern France is warm on Violet’s skin, so much warmer than she had ever expected for it only being May. She doesn’t know if it is always like this here, has never been to France, has never even been to Europe except for her three day honeymoon trip to Stockholm that Christian had mindfully connected with a business trip a few months back. But that had been last spring and Stockholm was nothing like the azur blue ocean and the view of Marseille in the background she was having now.

And Violet loves the ocean, loves how wide it is and is a bit pissed of that Katya doesn’t have the same view now. At least she was on board of the boat too, actually driving it; a fact that confused Violet beyond belief. To give up that kind of control to Katya didn’t struck her as very on par with David’s character. She watches as he takes another sip of champagne and looks on as his face goes sour for a split second and she knows that he will never get used to the taste of it, that he hasn’t been raised on champagne, oysters, monthly trips overseas and that he never feels like he belongs.

There is an army of rich, white people living in the upper class of New York and whose families have been there for the longest time. There is an army of people whose upbringings, motives, movements Violet might never understand. The cold sentences, stiff handshakes, fake smiles, deluded friendships, empty promises and judging stares made Violet’s skin crawl. Christian is one of them. Violet can tell that the guests that came with them onto the yacht were too. Violet knows how to pretend she is one of them. Katya tries hard to make sure that they don’t even get the idea that she is one of them. David isn’t one of them and never will be.

He is all new money; laughs at inappropriate times, reads all social clues wrong, wore the wrong shoes with his belt one too many times. He is almost as out of place as Violet and Katya. But David has the money, is in fact richer than some of the people he associates with. It doesn’t change anything. In such a small group it was evident that he could never possibly close the gap he doesn’t even know exists. This might be his boat but the conversation would never be his. Violet watches him intently and she doesn’t get him but is intrigued by this economical genius that much like Katya grew up on a farm and understands a bit why Katya had once thought that David would be her saviour, that they were a bit the same.

Violet would love to hear Katya’s thoughts on everything. She wants to know Katya’s thoughts on most things these days, could spend days talking to her, finds everything about her endlessly fascinating. She wishes Katya would be upstairs now, especially upon seeing how David grows angrier, uneasier every time Christian talks over him and Violet has no doubt that Katya would be the one to pay for that at the end of the day in one way or another. David catches her staring and his facial expression lightens. He throws her a smile that she fears is supposed to be flirtatious. Her stomach clenches. “I’m glad you came with us today, Violet,“ he speaks suddenly, slowly, while letting his eyes move over Violet’s almost nude body and she wishes to have something to cover the tiny bikini. She tears her gaze away from him, taking a sip of champagne while her hand is shaking lightly. Christian clears his throat glares at Violet in a fashion that she know means that somehow this is her fault. “Violet, you can leave us alone now. We have business to attend.“ It’s not a request, not even a question. It’s an order and normally Violet would feel anger boiling up but for once she is glad. She just wants away. Away from David’s stares, the predatory grins the other two men have on their faces when Violet rises from her sitting position, away from Christian’s clenched jaw and constructed cold expression. Violet holds tightly onto her own glass of champagne and quickly moves down the stairs to where she assumes Katya is.

#vatya #lesbian au #cisgirl au #my loneliness is killing you #polly #au #fluff #angst #katya zamolodchikova #violet chachki #rpdr fanfiction

[robininthelabyrinth]

Countless Roads (Deadfic - Prologue)

Fic: Countless Roads - Prologue - Ao3

Fandom: Flash, Legends Pairing: Gen, Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, others

Summary: Due to a family curse (which some call a gift), Leonard Snart has more life than he knows what to do with – and that gives him the ability to see, speak to, and even share with the various ghosts that are always surrounding him.

Sure, said curse also means he’s going to die sooner rather than later, just like his mother, but in the meantime Len has no intention of letting superheroes, time travelers, a surprisingly charming pyromaniac, and a lot of ghosts get in the way of him having a nice, successful career as a professional thief.

A/N: And so it begins! This is what I've been colloquially calling my deadfic - it's about 190,000 words, easily the longest thing I've ever written. We're going to go all the way through Len's childhood, through the Flash, and Legends. I hope to post new chapters every few days, and it'll STILL probably take a few months to finish. I hope everyone enjoys reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

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Prologue

The dead won't leave Len alone.

It's not his fault, not really. It's a family curse, or gift, apparently; gone down from mother to son and son to daughter as long as his mother knew of.

His mother told him that back home – she always called it 'back home' like Ethiopia was somewhere she'd left only for a moment and intended to return to, even though she'd lived in Central City since she was a kid herself, brought along by her parents after they’d fled the second world war – it was seen as a good thing. A blessed thing.

It’s not to everyone that Elohim gives the power to see ghosts, after all, his mother tells him. You know who does that? The great rabbis from the Talmud, the woman that raised up old Samuel, old Elijah, and us. It's a great honor – subject to some debate, that is, but what isn’t?

Well, it’s supposed to be a great honor, anyway, at least before it kills you. Their family doesn't live to fifty, usually, not unless they're very lucky.

Len was very small when his mother, scarcely thirty, died choking on it. His father had killed her without laying a hand on her, though he did plenty of that, too.

The dead, you see, generally want to live. Len's family, they're great at that: they've got plenty of life in them, too much of it, got enough to share if they want. They can make a faint echo into a spirit, a spirit into an apparition, an apparition into a poltergeist, a poltergeist into a fully-fledged manifestation. If we really put our back into it, Len's mom told him, we can make them almost appear human. Let them touch and feel and eat and everything.

The ghostly dream come true.

But even Len's family has only got so much life to spare, and some of it's got to be spent on living. Len's mother spent hers unwisely, falling in love with a man that did nothing but drain her just like the dead did. And the dead sometimes don’t ask, sometimes they just take and take and take –

And that’s how Len's mother died, because she didn't have the energy to fight back. Len's dad took most of what she had, and the dead took the rest, and now the only one left is Len, and he has to put up with his dad too.

Lucky thing he's young and full of life. It'll take some time before Lewis can beat him down enough for the dead to get to him.

Because Len doesn't care about it being a blessing or something you feel like you gotta do, a mission in life, something like that, the way his mom had said it was. Len wants to live, and if that means not sharing nothing with the ghosts, so be it.

He doesn't care.

He doesn't.

He does.

He promises himself he won't give any of them the time of day, much less part of his life, that he'll be as cold as his father always tells him he has to be. And at first he is, but –

"I just want to hug my baby again," one whispers mournfully as he passes.

And, well, surely just a little won't hurt?

It doesn't, either: he gives her just enough for one last ghostly embrace, a dropped penny with a significant date, and all he gets is a little hungrier. Steals two hot dogs from the deli instead of one, and he doesn't notice a thing.

The next one wants a burger.

It's so prosaic he has to laugh, and, well, he does that rare enough that it's worth giving himself a headache getting the guy all the way to poltergeist stage and letting him loose at his favorite burger restaurant.

He makes it through the years as best he can, saying no to most like he ought but giving it to a few. It's harder when the food is scarce and his father mean, but sometimes he can't resist.

Then Lisa is born and he knows he's gotta do everything in his power to stop giving 'cause he can't let himself die so long as she's around, so long as he's the only one there to protect her from her mother's indifference and their father's cruelty.

Turns out to be a bad idea.

Len's mom always told him he's got to give, that he can't deny it, but saying no is easy enough – well, easy enough if he closes his eyes and thinks of Lisa – and it's not until the unquiet dead come after him that he understands that a bit of giving is necessary if he wants to stay alive.

See, the ghosts he helps because they asked are the ones who defend him against the ones who want to take without asking.

The unquiet dead, his mom called them.

The cruel, the vicious, the ones who want revenge or pain, the ones who thrive on spite and pettiness, the ones that stuck around because damned if they'll see someone else thrive. The men who are like his father, small-minded and always blaming the world for the hurt they unleash upon it; the women who are like him, too. The murderers, the hitters, the waspish middle aged ex-prom queens who stick around to ruin their rival's lives long after the competition's over and the final bell's been rung.

They know Len won't say yes to them, so they don’t even bother asking. Instead they come with grasping hands, grabbing and hurting, until Len’s muscles ache like he's been running too much, his lungs choke up, he gasps for air –

The last few ghosts he allowed himself to help, a gang of kids who wanted to play at the arcade, a grandmother to attend a wedding she desperately wanted to be at, a guy trying to talk his best bud out of suicide – suddenly they're there, pulling the unquiet dead off of him, and he can breathe again.

They're so few, though, and the unquiet dead so many; it's hard and takes them a while. Takes a while before Len’s arms stop shaking and his fingers and teeth unclench.

The school nurse says he had a seizure.

His father looks at him, sneer on his face, and tells Len that he'd better not do that shit again or he'll get what's coming to him. Len promises he won't.

And he won't. He knows better now. He's got to give to some if he's going to stay alive; he just can't give to too many, that’s all. He's young and he's full of life and he's got a family curse and it's time he started accepting that instead of running from it.

He'd do better if only his dad didn't take so much time and energy and pain.

It's harder now that his dad's figured out that Len'll do anything for Lisa, not just feed her and tuck her in and play with her, but throw himself between them and agree to all sorts of dumb things if only Lisa stays safe.

All sorts of dumb things.

Like the robbery job that goes so far south that not even Len can rescue it, no friendly ghosts to peek around the corners and tell him if someone's coming, no scary sound distracting people at the right time; and his dad doesn't just ditch him but scapegoats him, too. Blames the whole thing on him, smirking the whole while when he talks about how sad it is how kids these days are. Terrible, really. Some juvie’ll do good to scare the boy straight, he’s sure of it.

Len goes into the judge's chamber and tells him, "I can't go to juvie, I'm raising a kid."

"Aren't you fourteen, Mr. Snart?"

"It's my sister. Someone’s gotta raise her, and it ain’t my dad who’s doing it."

The judge makes a face. "Sorry, kid," he says, and he seems to mean it, too, for all the good that does Len. "We all know your dad was in on the job, but unless you're willing to testify against him..."

"He'll only get worse if I do," Len says.

"He'll be in prison," the judge points out.

"For a year, maybe two," Len replies. "He's got friends, and he'll plea deal out. And then I'll be in for it for real."

The judge makes another face, but doesn't disagree.

"Please," Len says, and he doesn't say that to just anybody.

"Sorry," the judge says again, averting his eyes, but he only sentences Len to two months in juvie – a tenth of the time he could – on the grounds that Len's a first-time offender.

It's not great, but it's better than nothing.

Turns out, in the end, that it was a good thing, because in juvie he nearly dies, but doesn't, and in juvie –

He meets Mick.

#dccoldwave #mick rory #leonard snart #deadfic #my fic