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huramuna · 5 months

Text

growing on you - oneshot.

modern aemond x (ex) girlfriend reader

content: smut (specifics under the cut), afab reader, angst, unhealthy coping mechanisms, descriptions of depression and its effect on the body, probably an unhealthy relationship, aemond being an idiot, probably ooc aemond, reader not described, no use of y/n, targtowers seek therapy: the story, fluff at the end bc hehe

work is 18+, minors do not interact or you shall be smited.

word count: 7.4k (oops)

a/n: i've had this one in the drafts for a while. tweaked to be a fun 'lil angsty end of year holiday fic. as is my motto: fuck it we ball. a/n 2: i pivoted from a third person pov fic to a second person pov fic 3/4 through writing this using the find and replace tool, so if there are grammar errors, i apologize! also my first time doing second person pov, weehee.

monsters - all time low ft. blackbear • why do i - set it off ft. hatsune miku

warnings: p in v, creampie, cockwarming, slightly tipsy sex

Everything in your life was enveloped by him. your clothes smelled like him, small strands of his hair were woven into every nook and cranny of your apartment together, his fitness regime protein powder and ketogenic supplements were littered in your kitchen cabinets.

You couldn’t get rid of him, not even if you tried. Aemond was all you'd ever known— you have known one another since the age of seven, and have been in a relationship since fourteen. You were both now twenty-six. Twelve years you’ve been together romantically (longer, even, but you were both too stubborn to admit it) and nineteen years you’ve been in each other's lives in some capacity or another.

You’ve been involved together longer than you’ve not known each other. You hardly knew who you were without Aemond— a thought that scared you deeply.

It’s been two weeks since he moved out, only temporarily he’d said. He needed space. He would still pay his share of the rent and you didn’t need to worry about that.

But what about everything else? What about him warming you at night? Comforting you when you had nightmares? What about his items in the fridge, surely you’d spoil if he didn’t use them soon. What about Vhagar? Their— no, his geriatric cat that he took with him to God knows where— she must be terrified, surely.

Was he giving Vhagar her medicine before bed? Of course he was— he was the more responsible one anyway.

You paced back and forth until the soles of your feet ached and then some. Knowing Aemond for so long, you had intimate knowledge on everything about him, you were woven into each other's DNA like vines on a trellis, growing and expanding until you swallowed all of the other plants whole.

That is what happened, wasn’t it? You grew too large, too comfortable and became stagnant. You weren't unaware of his rising workload at his firm, but he had always been a workaholic— throughout their teenage years, through college and grad school. It never slowed him down so you didn’t understand the change in behavior.

Aemond was closed off. He always was a bit emotionally stunted due to his upbringing or lack thereof from his father and everything that happened surrounding his eye, but he had a soft side for you, always for you. You could retrace every part of him perfectly from memory, always could make him laugh, could comfort him when he recused himself, and the rare times he did cry, you were there.

But the last few months there was a shift— a change in him. Where he had been hard to open before, like a rusty hinge just requiring some oil, he was now padlocked, ironclad and impenetrable. Attempts to talk were shrugged off, ignored or diverted.

“Please, just talk to me, Aemond,” you said one night as you sat on the couch. You were watching your collective favorite show and he wasn’t even commenting on it like he usually did, he was silent and deadpanned. “I don’t understand what’s wrong if you don’t talk about it.”

“There's nothing wrong, therefore, nothing to talk about. I’m just tired from work,” he responded gruffly. “Stop whining.”

His tone was clipped and harsh, sending a wave of hurt trickling through your body. you were overly emotional, where he was under emotional— usually, you balanced each other out and struck a good middle ground, but in times like these, during fights, things would get explosive.

The tears started right away, your little sniffling cries stifled by a hand over your mouth. You turned away, wrapping yourself in the blanket.

“Seriously?” he growled, “I didn’t even say anything and you’re fucking crying again.”

“I d-don’t appreciate your tone, Aemond— you’re being mean,” you sniffed, wiping away tears that were soon just replaced by new ones. “Please, don’t be mean to me.” you were always soft hearted, and it was one of the things Aemond loved about you— or he had loved at one point.

“I’m not being mean,” he pinched his brow, “you’re overreacting and I do not have the capacity to deal with your antics anymore.”

Of course, your mind hit the panic button. ‘Anymore’ meaning that he didn’t want to deal with you at all, ever. The tears increased and you recused yourself further into a ball.

“Fucking hell.” he cursed, getting up from the couch and stomping outside to the balcony, lighting up a cigarette. He was out there for about an hour— you had cried yourself to sleep.

It was many situations like that for weeks that finally just… broke him.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said one day, slamming his keys down on the kitchen table, “I seriously cannot deal with your childish shit anymore— I’m working my ass off at the firm, actually bringing in money and I still have to come home and tend to you. you’re twenty-six, grow up and stop crying at every little thing. It’s fucking infuriating.”

“You know I can’t control that part of me!” you screamed back, your temper rising immediately to match his. The words flowing out of your mouth didn’t feel like yours, but some sort of defensive mechanism. “You can’t do this anymore? You’re not doing anything Aemond, except pushing me away. God, you haven’t even touched me in weeks.”

“Oh, so this is about sex?” he countered, getting closer to you, nostrils flaring. “You’re mad because I won’t fuck you? Are you that desperate?”

That one stung, to be sure. Aemond had been your first and only— you only ever knew him, only ever had him. “No, not just sex,” you murmured, “you haven’t even… just touched me normally. No hugs, no little caresses, nothing— it's as if I’m an aversion to you.”

He backed up from you, “Maybe we’re just too close,” he admitted, “We’ve been together too long. It's not fun anymore, it’s not new— it’s the same old, same old, going through the motions for release, not because I actually like it.”

“I don’t understand.” you said, your voice sounding disconnected from your body. The tips of your fingers felt numb, the numbness spreading through your body, your heart pounding in your chest as if it wanted to escape.

“I need space. I need to think about this.”

“This?”

“Us. I need to think about us and if this is something I really want,” he paused, “You’re… too much and not enough right now.”

“Wh— Aemond, please,” you whispered, your voice broken, “What can I do? I’ll… I’ll change, I won’t cry or whine anymore— please.”

He stared at you, his prosthetic eye unmoving while his remaining one bored into you, “I will think about it.”

“What… does this mean?”

“We are taking a break, alright? I’ll have my essentials out and I’m going to stay with Aegon.”

“Please— don’t go. I need you.”

That was the end of that conversation. That was the last time you spoke, two weeks ago. You expected him to text you at some point, to check in on you, to maybe try to talk things out.

Nothing. There's been nothing. Radio silence.

You felt isolated— you had no family, as your parents were estranged from you. you couldn’t go to Aemond’s family, as close as you were to them all, it just simply wasn’t an option.

You didn’t have friends. All you knew was Aemond.

It was early in the evening and you were in a deep pit of self-loathing. You decided to text him.

You swallowed thickly— the green meant he either turned off his phone or blocked you. You hoped that it wasn’t the latter.

The next few weeks were a blur. You felt like you were barely living, merely going through the motions to stay alive— not that you really were.

You woke up, went to work, came home, scrounged up food and then went to sleep. Rinse and repeat.

Weeks become months of your monotony, and no word from Aemond. He still had half of his stuff left in the apartment, you felt like you could barely breathe. At every turn there was something to remind you of him.

You’d lived in this apartment together for four years, the evidence of your relationship etched into the very walls. It was like the space was closing in on you and you couldn’t catch your breath, barely keeping your head above water.

You had to move out— you had to get away.

You managed to find a place, a cheap studio above a coffee shop downtown. The landlord was an old lady who was sympathetic to your situation and agreed to let you take the space quickly.

There was still the matter of your and Aemond’s current apartment— or, rather, it was just Aemond’s now.

Saving yourself the embarrassment of seeing if you were still blocked, you called Aegon. He was a better messenger than none.

“Hey, Egg,” you said, sitting on the couch. you bounced your knee up and down, biting at the skin of your lip. You and Aegon were amicable, not necessarily as close as you and Aemond, but you grew up together. Aegon ran in different social circles than you and you were somewhat polar opposites so you never really stuck— you did have your phases of friendship, though– which pissed Aemond off to no end. “Um, I don’t know if this is the right way to go about things but, do you mind relaying a message to Aemond for me?”

“Yeah, ‘spose I could. What’s up?” Aegon replied, his tone nonchalant like usual.

“I’m moving out of the apartment into my own place, so I guess he can go back. I’ll have all my stuff out by tomorrow.”

“Fuckin’ finally,” Aegon said, “He’s been driving me up the wall with his tidy, feng shui bullshit. He rearranged my whole place like five times and has taken up all the space in my cabinets with that nasty no-carb shit,” he paused for a moment, “I… didn’t mean that in a bad way to you, ‘course. I’m sorry it had to come to this. He’s a fucking idiot.”

That made you laugh, genuinely. Your first laugh in months. “Yeah– he… tends to do that. He left half of his stuff here, it feels like I’m living in the twilight zone. I just… gotta get away, you know?”

“Hey, I get that– you don’t have to explain yourself to me. He’s a dickhead and doesn’t understand how good he has it. If you want, I can bring my truck over tomorrow and help you move stuff.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Egg.”

“I want to– please.”

Your brow furrowed– Aegon usually wasn’t so persistent on anything unless it involved drinking or drugs. But, you hadn’t had real human contact in eons besides at work so… maybe it could be good.

“Okay, see you tomorrow. Thank you, really.”

–

It was rainy the next day– nasty and wet, droplets pouring down like tears. It felt somewhat familiar.

But, Aegon showed up like he promised, rolling up in his old, fading yellow pick-up truck. His hair was much shorter than you remembered and he looked actually well kept– Aemond must’ve been whipping him into shape.

He waved and ran through the rain, standing under the eave, “So– it’s raining.”

You snorted, “I think I can see that,” you teased with a tiny smile, “Not sure when it’ll let up.”

“I brought uh…” he paused for a moment to think, stretching out his arms in a square shape, “Y’know?”

“A tarp?”

“Yup– that,” he gave a lopsided grin, inviting himself in through the open door, “you aren’t going to kick me out if I don’t take off my shoes, right?”

You glanced down at his boots– they were a bit muddy and definitely wet. Aemond wouldn’t have let him step two feet through the threshold without taking them off. But– you weren't Aemond. “No, keep them on if you want. It’s not my problem if you track dirt through the place anyway.”

He nodded, taking his phone out of his pocket for a moment and shooting a quick message to someone. “Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s just… he’s my brother. It would be kind of… I dunno, crossing some sort of unsaid boundary if I visited his… girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend. I guess,” you corrected softly– but you didn’t really know yourself what it was. He wouldn’t talk to you, “It’s fine. I didn’t expect anyone to really reach out anyway, because of that… unsaid boundary thing.”

“We should’ve. you’re a part of our family with or without Aemond. Me, Helaena and Daeron have a whole group chat about it. Even mom asked where you’ve been,” he scratched the back of his head absentmindedly as he sent out another text, “Someone should’ve checked up sooner.”

“You’re acting like I’m some sort of neglected puppy, Aegon,” you turned to him, “... do I really look so terrible?”

Aegon glanced up at you, his mouth formed in a hard line. He cracked his knuckles, shrugging his shoulders. “I won’t lie to you. You look half dead.”

You blinked. Hard. Moving towards a mirror in the hall, you looked at yourself. Dark circles under sunken eyes, your skin was a pale pallor and your hair needed a trim desperately, your split ends curled and fettered. You were gaunt, as well– having lost a bit of weight over the months. “Jesus,” you muttered. Glancing over at Aegon, he was texting again. “Sending an update to the group chat, I guess? ‘Good news, she’s still alive, barely’?”

He snorted, “Yeah– something like that,” finally, he locked his phone and slipped it in his pocket. “I made sure to text Aemond, too.”

Your mouth felt dry at the mention. “Why?”

“He asked.”

“Asked?”

“He asked me to… make sure you were okay.”

Goosebumps prickled at your skin, the ever familiar feeling of nausea and despair swirling in the pit of your stomach. Nibbling at your lip more, you turned away, feeling a bit too exposed. “And what’d you say?”

“I said you were alive but you are not okay.”

Your lips pursed into a line as you tasted a bit of copper in your mouth from chewing on your lip. “I guess that’s right,” you muttered, “Why would he ask?”

“Aemond is… complicated. you know that better than anyone. I don’t know what kind of bug he has up his ass these last few months but… even through all of this, he still cares.”

“Like hell he does,” you snapped, feeling the sting of tears, “If he did, he would’ve given us a chance to talk it out, to… to try, maybe even go to therapy, I don’t fucking know– he would’ve reached out– anyone should’ve reached out,” your hand went to your hair, right at your hairline at your scalp, picking at the hairs there– another self-destructive habit you’ve picked up in your months of isolation, “I’m so fucking alone, Aegon. He knows… you all know I have absolutely no one else. I’ve been going through this on my own. I have no friends, no family– no brother to go live with when I need space, no family group chat. I don’t have shit, Aegon. All I’ve ever known in my life is him and you and Helaena and Daeron and mom. Why… why does it feel like I was cast off the island without even… a tribal council or something?” you sniffed, the tears coming in full force now.

Aegon was silent, coming up behind you. “I’m… sorry,” he murmured, putting his hands on your shoulders, as frail and skeletal as you were, “We should’ve been better. We… will be better.” he turned you around and pulled you into his chest, enveloping you in his arms. “We thought you would’ve been… fine without him. He made it seem like that– that you were strong enough. I only figured it out yesterday when he was up my ass about texting him as soon as I saw you. He needed to know if you were feeding yourself, if you were keeping up with your medication, if you still had nightmares. A fuckin’... laundry list of questions– I told him to stick his questions up where the sun don’t shine and to see for himself,” he took a breath, “He settled on one question– if you were okay.”

“I think he got his fucking answer, then,” you whispered, “I am not okay. I haven’t been okay in months. I… I need help.”

“I know,” Aegon shifted you slightly to look at your face, “We’ll help you– I promise, you won’t be alone anymore. Look, I’ll even add you to the group chat, okay? I’ll rename it to ‘Aemond Sucks’, how does that sound?”

You cracked a tiny smile, sniffling. “Yeah… I’d like that.”

–

You ended up moving your belongings to your new place the same day, effectively ridding yourself of the constant shadow of Aemond’s memory.

Aegon even took you to Michael’s and HomeGoods to get stuff for your little studio, so you could really make it yours. It was a bit intimidating at first– you weren't used to being able to decorate things the way you wanted, as Aemond always opted to keep things simple and minimalistic.

You, admittedly, went all out. Your new studio looked like a Pinterest board titled ‘cottagecore’. You were incredibly happy with it all, practically jumping up and down at it.

“It looks so good! I love these little mushroom chairs you picked out, Egg,” you hummed, patting some plush felted stools in the shape of mushrooms, which you put near the window. “I bet Helaena would love it.”

“Let’s take some pictures for the group chat, Hel will literally be all over this. you two always love that cottagecore, fairycore, fantasy… shit.” he grinned, stooping down to take some very out of perspective pictures of the mushroom chairs, making them look fifty feet tall.

You settled into your new place quickly, having Helaena, Aegon and Daeron over quite often for drinks and movies. Your health steadily improved until you were mostly back to normal physically– there would be a lot of scars internally, however that would take longer to heal, if you ever would. You had developed a trust issue complex since Aemond’s unceremonious exit from your life and hadn’t gone on any dates, you didn’t know when or if you would ever be ready. They did you the courtesy of not mentioning Aemond, until Daeron said something odd.

It was about four months after you moved in, and almost a full year since you’d last seen Aemond. You were all a few mixed drinks in, Aegon had made them and you were heavy on the alcohol, light on the ‘mix’, and you were all kicked back on the couch, with Aegon laying on the mushroom chairs stacked next to each other, lazed back like a cat.

“Mom says she wants you over for Christmas dinner,” Daeron said, taking a sip of his drink, “She figured it’d be fine with Aemond going off with his new…” he blinked, catching himself.

Helaena nudged Daeron in the ribs as a warning, staring at their friend warily.

“... his new? His new what?” you asked, your voice so quiet that it must’ve been like a squeak.

“... new girlfriend.” he finished.

You were silent for a while before sighing. “I figured it would happen eventually. I can only hope that it… wasn’t too soon after we broke up– or whatever… happened.”

“We all told him it was fucked up that he just left and ghosted you, lovey. Even mom got on his ass about it, and he is her favorite child who usually can do no wrong.” Helaena put her drink down, wrapping her arm around you. “You should come to Christmas dinner, everyone would be super happy to see you! And Aemond won’t be there, so even more reason to come. Please.” she whimpered, using her best puppy-dog face.

You mulled it over in your mind for a few moments. You couldn’t think of anything more painful than being alone during the holidays, so you nodded.

–

It was snowing on Christmas day, the flurries coming down and melting against your skin as you waited for Aegon to pick you up. You were wearing a red checkered tapestry dress with a flannel jacket, a white fluffed scarf wrapped around your neck and lower face. As soon as you saw the familiar color of Aegon’s truck, you practically booked it into the passenger seat.

“Merry Christmas, you look fantastic,” Aegon mused, ever the charmer. “I’ve got the heater on full blast, I promise– but y’know my old boy’s puttering these days. We’ll need to get some speed for it to really warm up.”

“Mmm,” you murmured, your teeth chattering, “S’cold.”

He reached back and grabbed a well-used blanket, draping it over your legs. “Better?”

“... yeah– but,” you blinked, raising a brow. “What do you have this in the truck for?”

Aegon laughed as he began the drive to his family’s estate. “I think you know.”

“Please don’t tell me you’ve fucked someone on this blanket, Aegon.”

“Someones– not just someone. But I keep it clean, no worries!”

The drive to the Targaryen estate was about an hour and a half from town, nestled deep into an expansive forest where there weren’t any other homes in at least five miles. It was a gorgeous, Victorian style mansion and according to Daeron, was most certainly haunted. You had been here numerous times, of course, but it’d been a while. As you pulled up in the driveway, you saw Alicent standing outside the door dressed in a gorgeous red and green festive dress, hair curled to perfection. Nothing less was expected of Alicent, though.

“Oh, my darling,” Alicent cooed, holding her arms out to caress who she thought of as her fifth child. “It’s been too long, I’ve missed you.”

Your heart warmed under Alicent’s caress, someone who had become more of a mother figure to you than your actual mother. You sniffed, pressing your forehead into Alicent’s shoulder. “Missed you too, mom.”

“Come on, you both can cry inside in the nice toasty house, yeah? I’m freezing my balls off here, mom.”

Alicent huffed, ushering both of you inside. “Don’t be vulgar, son– it’s Christmas.”

Helaena and Daeron were already there, as well as Otto, who gave you a stiff nod as a greeting, as was his usual means of communication.

You settled into the kitchen, Alicent pouring everyone apple cider and dishing out at least six types of holiday themed cookies. About an hour after arriving, there was a knock on the door.

“Oh, that must be Rhaenyra and Laena. Can you answer the door, darling? I need to take the roast out of the oven. I’m sure they would be happy to see you!”

“Mhm!” you mused through bites of cookies. You loved Rhaenyra and Laena, who were technically married with husbands, as was Alicent, but the three of them were in a secret, not so secret to anyone with eyes, polyamorous relationship. It always amused all of their kids when they tried to hide it.

You turned the doorknob, fully expecting to see Rhaenyra and Laena. It was not.

Aemond.

“Fuck.” you blurted out, eyes wide. It had been the better part of a year since you had last seen him. His hair was longer now, gathered into a low bun at the nape of his neck, his cheeks a bit more gaunt. He still wore his earrings and his rings– including the one you had given him almost a decade ago.

“Shit.” he responded, seemingly caught equally off guard by seeing you again. The pupil of his non-prosthetic eye dilated until the iris was almost consumed in black, before he flexed his hand and reeled himself in.

You couldn’t help but notice he was alone– no ‘new girlfriend’ as Daeron had put it. “Aemond,” you breathed, feeling like you were outside of your own body, your head filled with fluff and static. “Merry… Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” he responded gruffly, “Can I come in?”

“Oh– yeah, duh,” you chastised yourself, stepping aside to let him in. “Sorry.”

“Mm.” he grunted in his usual manner. That seemed to be a habit he hadn’t dropped.

You all but retreated to the kitchen, the expression on your face telling everything. Aegon, Daeron, and Helaena gathered around you.

“I didn’t invite him, I swear.” Aegon whispered.

“Well, neither did I!” Daeron professed.

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t invite him. He left me on read three weeks ago when I sent him a picture of a bug on my windowsill.” Helaena sniffed.

A new voice chimed in. “I invited him,” Alicent spoke, breaking up the little posse, “I told him to come over or he would be grounded for three months.”

All four of you stared at Alicent, deadpanned.

“Mom– he’s… almost twenty-seven. you can’t ground him,” Daeron said, confused. “And moreover, why? Wasn’t he busy?”

“Well, first off, he is my son, so I wanted to see him for Christmas. Two, I believe we have someone here who has some unresolved issues with him.” Alicent responded, staring right at you pointedly.

“... I don’t know… I… I don’t know if I can talk to him. It’s been too long… I feel like I was just getting over all of this.”

“Well, do I have any say in this?” Aemond barged into the circle, his hands in his pockets.

You suddenly felt overwhelmed, the familiar bubbling of everything being too much rising in your stomach. You were teleported back to months ago when you were barely alive, trapped in your own mind. “I… I need… I need a minute.” you muttered, your voice sounding distorted as you made your way to the bathroom, turning on the faucet. Chest heaving, you were already crying, the waterworks starting somewhere between the hallway and the sink.

“You’re always fucking crying, I can’t take it anymore.” Aemond’s voice from months and months ago echoed in your head, causing the tears to flow more. You bit against your lip, tasting blood right away as you willed yourself to stop crying.

“S-stop… stop crying,” you whispered, fingers messing up your hair as you held fistfuls of it. You couldn’t catch your composure for the life of you, sliding against the bathroom wall onto the floor.

Vision blurring, you don’t know how long you were incoherent for. When you came back to yourself, Aemond was in front of you, crouched down.

“Hey,” he murmured softly, the door closed behind him, “It’s okay.”

You swallowed, still numb as he pried your fists from your head, out of your hair, smoothing it down.

“Look at me, can you do that? Nod if you can hear me.”

You nodded slowly, the feeling coming back to your extremities in a sprightly tickling sensation. You blinked tears from your eyes, the liquid smearing your vision.

Aemond rasped a thumb over your eyes, effectively clearing the obstruction from your vision. “Just breathe,” he continued to whisper. It was ever reminiscent of when he would calm you down after a nightmare, voice low and scratchy in a way that comforted you. He was so close now, closer than he’d been in forever. He still smelled the same, the scent triggering a deep aching within your chest. A scent that took you forever to get rid of, but you never truly could. “Can… we talk?” he asked then, his voice sounding more vulnerable than ever.

It felt like whiplash, visions of your previous fights plaguing you, where he had been so closed off, so far away, so distant that you couldn’t reach him– and now, he was here. In the present, in the flesh. In front of you, opened. Not opened completely, but you could see it, like the slit of a cracked door, the light bleeding through. It was there.

“... yeah.”

“I… I’m… I’m sorry. What I did was fucked up. It was fucked up and wrong and you didn’t deserve any of it.”

“You’re right about that,” you muttered, pulling your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. “I didn’t deserve it.”

Aemond’s mouth twitched slightly before he sat down next to you, propping up his legs in a criss-cross. He opened his mouth to speak a few times, before closing it. His hands flexed and unflexed in quick succession– he was clearly thinking very carefully about his next words. “... I’ve… got issues. You know that better than anyone. I don’t know what was going through my head those months that we fought. I can hardly remember it now, it was like… I was in a fog, a haze– I was working myself half to death, I just wanted dad to notice, to fucking… appreciate me,” he put his hands on his head, “I was so… tied up in this illusion that if I made junior associate at the firm so young that he would congratulate me on my achievement and…” Aemond let out a sigh, “And… in the process… I pushed you away.”

You looked at him, feeling your gaze soften ever so slightly. You knew that his father was a sore spot for him and that trauma ran deep. “You didn’t just push me away, Aemond,” you sighed, reaching out a shaky hand to pry one of his from his face. “... if you would’ve just talked to me, I could’ve helped. You didn’t push… you… you shoved, you shoved and ran in the other direction.”

His one violet eye danced towards you. “I know. I’ve been kicking myself for it. When Aegon told me you weren’t doing well… I almost left work to see you.”

“... you did?”

“Yeah. Aegon basically told me not to– that… this was something you needed space for. Kind of like I did but… maybe in a more healthy way.”

“A text wouldn’t have hurt.”

He reached into his pocket and took out his phone– his wallpaper was still the same as it was, a picture of you, him and Vhagar very unhappy in an elf costume. He scrolled to his notes app, which was filled with messages addressed to you. “... I thought it might, after what Aegon had said. I was… ashamed of how I acted, how I handled the whole thing– how I left you alone without a word. He told me how you looked… dead. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

Your eyes scanned the messages, picking out some words. The main ones that caught your gaze were ‘sorry’, ‘love’, ‘regret’. A huge breath left your lungs, feeling as if everything had been knocked out of you at once. You felt like you were being whipped back and forth in the wind, trying to grab onto anything. If you both weren’t so stubborn and just messaged one another– well, no. You did message him, one time. “I thought you blocked me.”

“... for five minutes, maybe.”

“God, we’re so fucking stupid, Aemond.”

“You aren’t– don’t say that. I’m literally a dumbass. All of my siblings told me so, even my own mother, and you know she never curses.”

The tiniest of smiles cracked onto your face as you jostled his shoulder. “Yeah… you are a dumbass. I am allowed to say it at least once. So, um,” you shuffled slightly, “Daeron kind of let it slip that you had a new girlfriend?”

Aemond pinched his brow. “Of course he said that. He is twenty-one years old and still doesn’t know how to use his goddamn ears. I said I was seeing a new therapist, not that I had a fucking girlfriend.”

“A therapist?”

“... things got really dark for me after I moved back into our… no, my… place. After you officially moved out. It felt lifeless, all of your things were gone, the fucking warmth sucked out of the place. It felt like it’d been sterilized of anything… good. I feel into something– I don’t know, a depression? I guess, that’s what Aegon called it. He suggested I see a therapist, citing me as ‘an emotionally stunted asshole who needs more therapy than him’.” he exaggerated the last bit with air quotes, rolling his eye.

“... he isn’t wrong. I mean, I love your family, but all of you are all kinds of fucked up. Maybe I am too, practically being a part of it.”

Aemond chuckled, giving a tight lipped smile. “We are fucked up. I realized that… I really do not give a shit what my dad thinks, because nothing will ever be good enough for him. He’s so far gone now that he probably doesn’t even know we exist. I’ve come to terms with that and honestly… it feels like a weight has been lifted.”

“I’m glad you could… work through some of that, Aemond.” you say sincerely, resting your cheek on his arm absentmindedly.

“... I want to talk about us.”

“... us. Okay.”

“I don’t expect you to want to jump right back into things. It would be unfair to think that– but… maybe we could try?”

Your chest feels a bit tight at his admission– he wanted to try. Every fiber in your being wanted to say yes and jump back into it like you’d never left. But you knew you couldn’t. There were still parts of you scarred by this whole experience, some parts that may never heal. It would take a long time and a lot of talks like this to even get some semblance of what the both of you had. “Well… before we were together, believe it or not, we were friends. Could we… try that for right now?”

His chest visibly deflated a bit, but he nodded. “Whatever you need, okay?”

–

The days following Christmas, leading up to New Year’s were… different. You and Aemond were back in contact, going out for coffee and lunch a few times.

On the day before New Year’s eve, you texted him.

Turns out, timing the movie to sync with 12 am on New Year’s day to Toby Maguire saying ‘Pizza time’ was difficult. Well, it wasn’t difficult for normal people– but you and Aemond were a bit tipsy, as Aegon had left some hard apple ciders in your fridge, to which you both indulged.

“Okay, okay,” Aemond stared at his phone, “5… 4… 2… wait, no, fuck, 3… 2… I think we fucked it up– just go, go!”

Quickly, you started the movie. “Maybe we should’ve practiced– can we start over?” you plopped on the couch, sinking into the sofa and taking a swig of the cider.

“Doesn’t work like that, sweetheart. Can’t turn back time.” he mused softly, squatting down on one of the mushroom stools. “Pretty comfy.”

“Aegon picked those out, nifty, huh?”

“Nifty.” he parroted.

The movie continued on, but as it went on, there was an unspoken tension growing. Aemond hadn’t sat on the couch, but rather, the stools that were on the other side of the room. It felt like a chasm had formed, the strain almost palpable.

You chewed on your lip anxiously, contemplating whether or not to say anything. But, you had both been trying a new technique called ‘communication’ – a pretty cool and helpful thing that Aemond’s therapist had taught him. You remember laughing when he posed it that same way– but it was extremely important. You cleared your throat. “Why are you sitting all the way over there?”

“... um. I wanted to try the mushroom seats, I guess.”

“You don’t want to sit next to me?” you countered, feeling especially brave.

“Is that… alright?”

“Um, duh. I invited you over for pizza and a movie so we could… sit together. Not for you to be half a mile away sitting on a mushroom.”

“As long as it’s alright with you.” he murmured, sitting up from the mushroom stool and making his way over to you, sliding onto the couch, still a few feet away from you.

You weren’t sure if it was the atmosphere, the pent up emotions, the small buzz of alcohol, or a destructive cocktail of all three, but you inched closer to him. Closer, closer… until your thighs were touching. You glanced up at him beneath fettered lashes. “Hi.”

“Hey.” he responded, his voice low and warm. It caused a balmy and comforting vibration to go through you, reverberating in your chest.

You became all too aware of your movements, your closeness to him, the skin of your thigh grazing against his jeans as you got as close as you could. Your lips parted slightly as he stared back down at you. “Can… we?”

“Can we, what?” he murmured, lacing his fingers through your loose hair, gently grasping it at the nape of your neck. “Use your words, sweetheart.”

“... kiss. A little bit.”

“Just a little bit?”

“Mhm. A teeny bit.” you leaned up, Aemond meeting you halfway as your lips came together. The culmination of your year apart, all of the emotions, the sadness, the frustration and anger, the passion, love, tears– all of it came together at this moment as the two of you melded together perfectly, as if you’d never left. You couldn’t help but let out a sigh of contentment, followed by what could only be articulated as a moan.

It caught both of you off guard, Aemond pulling away for a moment, his lips still ghosting over yours. “Fucking hell,” he breathed against your skin, sending goosebumps tingling from your tailbone up to the nape of your neck, the hairs on your body standing on end. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you,” you responded before latching onto him once more. It started off loving and slow, your lips moving against one another like two old lovers dancing together– then it began to heat up, your mouth parting to accommodate his tongue, gnashing against yours as their dance turned up a notch. Your hands roamed his body, everything you committed to memory for so many years still in its same spot. It felt good, it felt like home. “Please, Aemond– I… I need you. It’s been so long… too long…”

“Too long since I’ve had you, had this,” his hand reached down, cupping your mound still hidden beneath your panties. Somehow, you foresaw this moment before it happened and thankfully wore a light dress. “Let me in, love.”

You parted your legs, feeling the ever familiar crook of his fingers slide down the front of your panties, testing the waters. The pad of his thumb and middle finger locked on instantly to your clit, swirling the sensitive bud, sending electric shocks through your extremities. You bit your lip to stifle a moan, pressing your forehead against his. “Need you inside, now.” you all but growled as you peppered little kisses along the soft flesh of his neck.

He wouldn’t keep you waiting long, as it seemed he needed this as much as you did. He parted your panties to the side, propping you on top of him and sliding you down his length, earning a hissed gasp from both of you. It took all of his strength not to burst in you right then, as you enveloped him in your tight, wet heat. “You were made for me,” he breathed, biting down on your shoulder, leaving red marks. One of his favorite things to do was to mark you, leaving hickies in his wake as he worshiped every inch of exposed skin he could reach. “Melded so perfectly, just for me.” he grabbed the flesh of your bottom, squeezing gently at first, then landing a smack on it as he began to thrust up into you.

You nodded fervently, hiccuping little moans as you dug your face into his shoulder, biting him in turn. Your nails sunk into his skin, indenting against his spine as they always had, as they always were meant to. It felt much like a pianist resting their fingers on the ivories after a long break, the pads of your fingers sinking into the ridges of his very being. You were meant to be here, he was meant to be here. You could feel your end coming on all too soon, his cock filling every nook and cranny of you, bullying that spongy, delicate sweet spot just right. You began to clench, your tell-tale sign to him that you were close.

“I love you,” he whispered, panting slightly, using one hand to push your face back so you could meet his gaze. His wild, pupil-blown out gaze, cheeks reddened, mouth parted, brow furrowed. “I love you, I fucking love you. I missed you– fuck.”

“I l-love you,” you responded before he parted your lips with his thumb, “Love you so much– p-please, s’close.” you whined into his mouth.

“Let go, sweetheart, c’mon,” he grinned against your lips, nipping and biting at them. “Come for me.”

That was all you needed, the twine of your climax coming undone right in your core, snapping like a taut thread. Your usual habit was to hide your face in his shoulder when you came, whimpering and panting– but he didn’t let you this time. He held your face, staring at you intently as if you were a piece of fine art on display, and he was a connoisseur.

You clenched around him tightly, spurring him to his own end. His hard wrought fingers gripped your ass like it was a lifeline, grunting as he found his release deep within you, where it was always meant to be.

Coming down from your high, you slumped against his chest, mouth parted. Embarrassingly enough, a little drool wetted your lips. You were fully and thoroughly fucked out, not even registering that Tobey Maguire said “Pizza time!”

“Happy New Year, love,” Aemond murmured against your hair, nestling you tightly against him. He didn’t pull out– he preferred it this way, having you warm him through until you both fell asleep.

“... Happy New Year,” you whispered back.

–

Two and a half months later, it was Valentine's day. You and Aemond were officially dating again as of January 2nd, much to the surprise of no one.

You both took things as slow as you could, keeping separate apartments for the time being– but you’d given him a key to your place about two weeks in, and he was there all the time, taking much needed leave from work.

Unlocking the door to your apartment, you walked in, seeing Aemond lounging on the couch with a scruffy brown furball on him.

“Oh, Vhagar! You brought my baby,” you mused, dropping your items (with some grace, so as not to scare the geriatric cat), walking over, “Oh, I hope she remembers me.” you frowned, kneeling down and offering your hand to her.

“Of course she’ll remember, she yelled at me for a good three months at Aegon’s when we were without you.”

Vhagar sniffed your hand for a good minute before blinking her sleepy, lazy eyes at you, then promptly rubbing her scraggly cheek fur on your hand. You were elated, scratching her cheeks, hearing the tinkling of a little bell.

“A new collar?”

“Mhm, take a look.”

You swirled the collar around, looking for the name tag– only to find… a ring. An opal and moonstone ring. Your heart stopped in your chest as you stared at Aemond.

“I would get down on one knee– I was intending on you coming home and Vhagar running to you and then you finding it… but she’s on me, and I can’t get up. Cat rules,” he mused, unclipping the collar from her neck and slipping the ring onto your finger. “I know we’ve only been dating for… a month and a half, so stop me if it’s too soon.” he grinned, his toothy smile.

Vhagar gave a croaking meow, promptly jumping off of Aemond’s lap. As soon as the old cat was off, you threw yourself at Aemond, blubbering. “This… this…” you sniffed, unable to form words.

“Just so there isn’t any confusion… will you marry me?” he asked, wiping your tears away with his thumb.

“Yes, yes– I will,” you sniffle, burying your face in his chest and sobbing.

He let you sob on him, getting his shirt all snotty and wet, all while smiling.

After crying for at least ten minutes, you manage to take a picture, sending it to the group chat, with the caption: “I think we should add him to the chat now, guys.”

Ding.

“Is this group chat named ‘Aemond sucks’?”

#aemond fic #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #aemond x fem!reader #aemond #aemond one eye #hotd fic #aemond fanfic #aemond fluff #aemond smut #modern aemond smut #modern aemond #aemond targaryen smut #hotd smut #aemond angst #my writing

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liivzen · 5 months

Note

Hiii i saw your requests are open. So i have a little something. So, I've had this daydream about post-war levi, where he has a cozy little tea shop. The reader, who is a law student, goes there to study quite frequently. She basically went there for the ambiance and kept going for the owner, if you get me :p. So yeah, it is obvious to lev that she has a crush on him, and you know you know, they talk and all that and one thing leads to another. I hope this isn't too detailed. You can let out anything you're not comfortable with, of course. Lots of luvv ~~

bruh i seriously i have an issue with tumblr. they deleated my draft i had for this. BUT ANYWAYS HIIIIIII, you’re the first person to have a request everrrr! Im so happy someone finally submitted something! I hope this is something that you like, i wish i could’ve wrote more but i am busy with finals (fucking kms). I hope i can expand on this soon though:)

nothing nsfw for now but hopefully we’ll expand on that as well 😏 Also mind the grammar or errors of any kind, I am not an english major for a reason.

You sat in a chair at a small table against the window of the little tea shop in town. Your books scattered around the table, but with no actual work getting done though however. You’re attention was on the man behind the counter with his back facing towards you making a tea for a fellow customer.

This isnt isnt the first time you’ve been at the tea shop. You started coming just to study and enjoy a tea or two. Now you stay for a completely different reason, or well person. You couldn't help put stare at his defined back, his sleeves rolled to his forarms and hands moving with skill.

Unknown to you, Levi could feel your stare, and has been feeling them for months. He could feel you staring at him right now, he tries ignoring it but in the end he always turns around and makes brief eye contact with you. You quickly looked away, breaking the eye contact and pretend to work on whatever was in front of you.

You keep working, sort of, while stealing quick glances to the man. This goes on until it starts to get dark outside and you can tell the owner is starting to clean up the shop. He slowly finishes wiping down a table next to yours and you try not to stare by pretending to work. He slowly makes it to your table now and clears his throat looking at you.

You peek up through your eyelashes before he starts saying something.

“Miss, the shop is about to close.” He says softly, looking into your eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll clean up and get out of your way.” You replied back to him, starting to pack up your stuff into the your satchel. He nods at you as a thanks, but not before setting something on the table. Confused, you pick it up.

‘come to the shop on Sunday, 6 o’clock’

You think for a second, wondering why you might have gotten this. Then your brain clicks, the shop is closed on Sundays. Heat starts to rise to your face as you look over to the man again, he’s back behind the counter, back to you cleaning tea cups. You grabbed your satchel and walk over to the counter, this time your the one to clear your throat.

“Um, can I ask you your name sir?” You ask him politely. He turns around, cup and rag in hand.

“It’s Levi.” He responds, while still cleaning the cup. You nod your head at his response, shifting on your feet nervously.

“Can I ask why you left this note Levi.” You prompt him, saying his name with a soft tone. This time he sets the tea cup down and leaning on the counter slightly.

“Well I was hoping I could see the pretty girl thats always in my shop, but on her own.” He replied with a bit of red on his cheek as well. You hum at his answer, thinking about what you’re going to respond with. After a moment of silence Levi opens his mouth,

“If you’re not comfortable-“

“Ok, Mr. Levi.” You interrupt him before he can get his full sentence out. He stares at you for a second and nods his head.

“Ok then, I’ll see you sunday then?” He clarifies.

“I’ll see you on Sunday Mr.Levi.” You smile at him, a small blush on your face. You turn around and start to walk out the door, the little bell atop it chiming when it’s opened. You turn your head over your shoulder one last time and wave at him. Levi gives a small smile back, hands returning to clean tea cups. Walking out with a blush and a smile on your face you have one little thing on your mind now, nothing related to school work.

You have a date this Sunday.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #levi aot #aot x reader #post-war levi #livanswers #ily

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heartlandians · 7 months

Text

Filling Empty Spaces (Amy/Mitch), part 218

Mitch and Amy find an unexpected connection due to absent lovers. Set around season 11->.

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this story, so hopefully there won’t be too many grammar errors. Also, sorry, I know it's been a month since the last update, but life just gets busy sometimes and there's barely any time to sit down and write, unfortunately. I've had this in the draft for weeks now, but for some reason I just didn't know if it was "good enough". Well, I guess after seeing 17x02 I might as well just post it, since there were similar tones in that episode. Hope you enjoy!

* * * *

"I just wanted you to be the first to know", Amy began, ignoring the fact that technically Georgie had already found out before Lou, but that was besides the point she was trying to make, "that... Mitch and I are dating--"

She had barely finished her sentence when Lou jumped in.

"No. Amy, no", she said it like a scolding parent - or a pet owner, which made it even worse.

"You didn't even let me finish!" Amy burst out.

The younger Fleming sister suddenly felt defensive, as if Lou had just ruined the moment she had carefully built up for a while now.

It was not like she had been looking forward to saying it - the opposite, actually - but she felt like she had to let it all out in order to move forward.

"Because I already figured out what you were gonna say. I saw this coming from a mile away. I even told you - and you wouldn't believe me", Lou scoffed, as if she had been expecting it and, in a way, she had. "I just knew it was only a matter of time ever since you told me about you guys kissing--"

"I wasn't lying to you back then", Amy insisted, feeling like Lou was accusing her of that.

"No, I know; you're a horrible liar. I would have been able to tell if you had been lying. -- But you're also one of the most naive people I know. So, I knew even when you didn't know", Lou insisted, putting herself above her younger sister. "God, Amy... you're just so blind with these things!"

Amy felt tears stinging her eyes, but she fought them off.

"It's not like that. You don't understand..." she tried to make her sister realize what she was clearly not getting.

"Oh, it's not?" Lou asked, acting like she had just been corrected, but her mocking tone seeped through. "Because I think it's exactly like I said it was going to be the last time we spoke about this. You're settling for less than what you deserve, Amy! Mitch is just a rebound. The sooner you learn that, the less it's gonna hurt when it ends."

Amy wasn't sure if she was more angry at Lou for thinking that she herself wouldn't know what was happening or how she talked about Mitch.

"He's not!" she insisted.

"You need to actually get out there, meet new guys!" Lou breathed out, feeling sorry for her sister and the way she had isolated herself. Of course she was looking for love in this vulnerable state from anywhere she was going to find it, and with Mitch hanging around, it wasn't going to be that hard to get it from him. "Or maybe if you revisited the idea about studying further, then you could meet--"

"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot! I know what I'm doing; it just seems like everyone else insists that I don't!" Amy argued, tired of the way everyone tried to steer her life toward a direction they wanted instead of hearing her out. "And don't talk about him like he's disposable - he's a human being. A really good one, too."

"Amy, honey, I know how it is. Trust me, I know. I was you once", Lou softened her tone, hoping to appease to her with a different approach. "He's a great guy, sure, but... he's not the one for you."

"Why not?" Amy wanted to know.

"Because..." Lou began, trying to think how many different ways could she repeat herself before Amy would get it.

Maybe the only way to make her see clearly was to allow her to get her heart broken. Sometimes that was the only way to learn.

"Because?" Amy repeated, feeling pent-up. "Maybe you're thinking this too much from your own point of view. Because to me he is--" she started to explain, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

She had not really been able to talk about Mitch to anyone, not fully, or even allow herself to truly feel what she could potentially feel because she was too afraid to trust that without thinking she was going to lose it at any given moment.

But now it felt like she had to push herself over that threshold in order to explain herself - and Mitch.

"He is a great listener and a considerate person. He gets my work, my family, my life. He doesn't push me to do things I don't want to do. He doesn't ask me to accept things I don't feel comfortable with. There's no drama, there's no mind games; he is what he says he is. He does exactly what he says he will do. I've never had anything like that. Maybe it's not what you wanted, but it's exactly what I've needed", Amy continued, feeling like a weight had been lifted.

The line was silent. She wasn't sure if Lou was starting to understand or not, but she felt like continuing.

"And... I know it's not ideal that you two used to date briefly, but... I've found sometimes things just go the way they do, and we can't control them. All we can do is learn to live with them. I don't want to spend my life thinking those what-ifs anymore. I've done that far too long already", Amy added, feeling like she had now said everything she had wanted to say.

"Okay..." Lou finally said.

Amy's ears perked. "Okay"?

Was that a good "okay" or...?

"You've told me what you've wanted", her sister continued. "I don't know that we need to talk about this any further. Besides, Henry and Katie are going to be home soon, so I should get started with dinner, anyway."

Amy wasn't sure what she had wanted the outcome to be, but this felt like it was not it. Like the way Lou had sort of taken her spirit away with the things she had said - and now she was just going to walk away?

That felt unfair.

"Keep me in the loop about Venus. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

It took Amy a while to pick herself up in order to say "bye" back before she heard a click and the phone call ended.

Putting the phone on the office table, Amy looked around and listened to the silence.

That experience had been intense in a way she had not been able to predict. The emotions had been all over the place and now she felt drained.

It was done now.

The thing she had been fearing for weeks.

But... how did she really feel about it? * * * * At the neighboring ranch, Mitch was sat down for a dinner in his kitchen and the only thing he had for a company was his laptop.

Few crumbles of his sandwich got caught in the cracks of his keyboard when he typed in "Leah Cotes" into Facebook's search bar - while holding the toast - and then waited.

Looking up his ex-girlfriend could be a long shot - he knew - since maybe Leah wasn't on social media in the first place, considering she didn't really have good experiences of the whole thing back in high school, or maybe she had married and decided to change her last name to gain more anonymity.

But it didn't take long for a familiar face to appear among one of the suggested results thanks to their other Hudson based contacts. Just as Mitch had leaned back in his chair, he returned into a hunching position, closer to the screen.

Staring at the tiny profile picture for a while, Mitch had to think about the next move for a second before deciding to go forward with anything. He had already mentally somewhat committed into finding her, but now that it was closer than ever, Mitch wasn't sure if it was the best thing to do, after all.

He had wanted to locate her again, hopefully meet up and have a conversation, seeing how things had not ended well for them and he really wanted to change that.

But was he being selfish, no matter what his intentions were with his apology?

Just as he had decided that maybe checking how she was doing wouldn't tie him into anything, Mitch's phone rang.

Mitch leaned forward to slide his phone over to him from across the table to accept the phone call, but not before checking the caller ID.

It was just some random number, but it did say "New York".

A scam? Mitch thought.

But he decided to take it, anyway. There was always an option to end the phone call if it wasn't anything worthy of spending time on, after all.

"Hello?" Mitch said to the phone, waiting for a response.

"Leave my sister alone", a voice said from the other end.

Mitch was so stunned about what was said that he barely had time to register who was saying it. This was no robot trying to get his money.

Furrowing his brows, he looked around the room, suddenly finding it hard to focus on anything else. "Who is this...?"

"What do you mean "who is this"?" the voice replied, annoyed.

Slowly putting the pieces together, Mitch realized. "Lou?"

"Yes - Lou!" the woman said on the other end. "Wait, you deleted my number?" the conversation suddenly changed direction.

Mitch got up from his chair, leaving his sandwich half-eaten on the table. "Well, yeah? Why wouldn't I have? What business would I have to call you?"

There was a pause, and Mitch could almost write the script for the moment simply from the weight of it all.

Months ago, Lou had accused him of being hung up on her, while he had insisted that it was not the case (which had been true), and now she was the one still having his phone number while he had not had hers ever since they had broken up...

The irony of it all.

"I know she thinks she knows what she's doing, but she doesn't. She's just... a mess", Lou changed the subject again.

"Are you talking about Amy?" Mitch asked, going back to Lou's opening line.

"Well, it's not like I have any other sisters, do I?" Lou scoffed. "That I know of..." she muttered, thinking back to the time she had found out she had, in fact, a half-brother, Shane, from Tim's old love affair.

But maybe one extramarital child was enough, even for someone like Tim Fleming.

Mitch clenched his jaw, trying to remain calm. Something about the way Lou spoke to him sometimes pushed his buttons. But now he wasn't as annoyed about that as he was annoyed about the way Lou kept patronizing Amy.

Amy didn't need a chaperone.

"Well, it's hard to keep up with you sometimes. Wasn't sure if you were still hurt about the fact that I don't have your number or if you're talking about something else", Mitch said back, his tenseness evident in his tone. "I take it Amy told you--"

"Yes, she told me about you two", Lou interrupted him, almost like she couldn't bare to hear him say it. And maybe she didn't. "And I just... I don't care, but I care about my sister."

Mitch nodded, walking around, his hand on his hip while he was listening to Lou speak. "Uh-huh."

It took everything in him to keep his tongue checked. Lou was Amy's family, and whatever history he and Lou shared was not as important as that.

"You know, I think she's capable of making her own decisions. Just like she always has been."

Lou laughed. "Of course you would say that..."

"What does that mean?" Mitch didn't appreciate Lou's tone.

"Because if she's vulnerable, you're the benefiter."

"I wouldn't take advantage of her. And how would you even know what she is - you haven't been here...?" Mitch pointed out. "I don't think you have even talked for months."

"Because I know my sister", Lou insisted. "She doesn't like change, so she doesn't change herself. Reading her is easy. Simple as that."

"Do you know your sister or do you think you know your sister?" Mitch quizzed. "There's a difference."

Right now, Mitch would have loved to have known what the conversation between Amy and Lou had been like, but he had no way of knowing - not before talking to Amy and hearing her side.

The only thing he knew for sure was that he couldn't completely rely on Lou's words alone, especially given the personal feelings the older sister probably had involved both through Amy and him.

"Just..." Lou began, almost sounding like she was ready to argue, but then, for some reason, she held back. "Don't hurt her, alright?" she swore Mitch to promise her.

"I wouldn't", Mitch said, softening his tone in return as he felt like Lou wasn't no longer coming on so strong and he was able to show his sincerity to her.

"I wasn't there to protect her when she was going through the divorce with Ty and... I just don't want to see her heartbroken again. She deserves better than that."

"I agree", Mitch said, calmly.

Lou listened to the line again. "I guess I have no choice but to take up your word for it, even though--" There was a pause. "Nevermind."

Mitch wondered what Lou would have wanted to say.

"Anyway. That's all. That's all I wanted to say", Lou finished.

"Okay", Mitch said, feeling like every time he talked with Lou, it was like trying to stay on a bronc; you just held tight, hoping that you were able to land on your feet somehow instead of breaking any ribs. "And hey... maybe it's time you delete my number from your contacts too."

"Probably for the best", Lou said, before ending the phone call.

#heartland #fanfiction #filling empty spaces

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iriel3000 · 7 months

Text

When Will You Let Her Go?

Whumptober Day 8: “It’s all for nothing.”

LAURA WHUMP, emotional whump, light whump

DISCLAIMER: I am legally allowed to torment the fictional character of Laura Barton (and Bruce Banner) this month.

AN: You are going to learn a lot about my writing process this month, sorry. Most of the whump fics will be 3rd or 4th round drafts. I normally spend weeks, if not months editing. Many of these pieces will be written days, if not hours, before the prompt is due. please forgive any spelling or grammar errors, or if these don't seem up to my usual standard.

thank you for indulging me tho😘

Summary: Laura calls the kids while they are in New York with Clint and Kate. part 1 of 3

“Hey, is everybody having fun?”

“Hi, mom!” Lila circled around Kate Bishop's penthouse with her phone, making Laura dizzy on the facetime call. “We’re having the best time! Look at Kate’s place!”

Clint was in New York helping Kate get ready for her first round of SWORD training and had taken Cooper, Lila, and Nate with him.

“Summer in New York is sooo much better than the winter.”

“What have you been doing? Where are your brothers?”

“They’re right here.” She turned the phone towards Cooper and Nate.

Laura blinked. She thought she was looking at an arcade. The room was huge with various ping pong, fooseball , and pool tables, along with old, upright video games. Cooper was playing online games on a theater size screen and Nate had VR goggles on, punching and kicking the air.

“Hi Mom!” Cooper shouted, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“Hi, sweetie. Hello, Nathan.”

Nate continued playing.

“He can’t hear you.” Lilia swung the phone back around. “Anyway, we swam at Kate’s friend’s house. She has a pool on the roof of her apartment building!”

“Wow, that sounds fun.”

“Way more fun swimming at the Waverly community pool. We also saw Rogers the Musical again and got to meet the entire cast afterwards.” Lila went into the largest bathroom Laura had ever seen and rummaged through some drawers.

“Thought you guys said that play was silly when you saw it at Christmas?”

“Yeah, but we met some of the actors in Central Park a few days ago, it was really cool. The guy that plays dad does not look like him at all.” She laughed and began putting on makeup. “Ms. Nadia gave us box seats.”

“Miss Nadia?”

“She plays Aunt Nat. She's super nice, Mom, and really pretty. She could be Aunt Nat’s twin; they look that much alike.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh, and she taught me some ballet moves to take back to my class. Ms. Nadia says I should take jazz classes if I want to be on Broadway like her.”

“But, I thought you were…”

“She’s an amazing dancer, Mom. Dad said she can do all the moves from Swan Lake, like Aunt Nat. She said she would teach me those too.”

“Is your dad there?”

“No, Kate is with us.”

“Why? Where did he go?”

“He had to help Ms. Nadia get some stuff for her Black Widow costume. Guess what?”

“What?” She asked, not thrilled with this new information.

Why would Clint need to help the Black Widow dancer with her costume? The play had been running for almost a year.

“Kate got us Taylor Swift concert tickets!! A suite by all of the celebrities. And we get to take a huge purple, Hummer limousine. I can’t wait!”

“You guys are supposed to come home tomorrow.”

“Dad said we could stay a few more days to go to the concert and to the Hamptons with Kate and her friends. It's summer vacation, Mom.”

“I know.” Laura tried not to sound too disappointed.

This weekend was her and Clint's wedding anniversary. The children were supposed to go to their cousin's house to spend the night so she and Clint could have a romantic evening.

They hadn't had much alone time. Since his retirement, Clint had been keeping busy fixing up the house and visiting New York every couple of months to help Kate.

“Come on, please.” Lila begged.

“Lila! Where are you?” Clint hollered in the background.

“Daddy’s home!”

“Home?” Laura balked, but Lila ignored her.

“Dad! Talk to Mom. Shes using that voice when she doesn’t like something.”

“Why?” Clint came in and gave Lila a hug.

“I told her about staying a few days and she has that tone, as usual.” Lila handed the phone to him.

He covered the screen with his hand.

"I'll take care of it." Laura heard Clint whisper.

“Hey, hon.” Clint removed his hand and she saw him check on the boys.

“You’re staying longer?”

“Is that a problem?”

“When were you going to tell me?”

“When I got back here. Didn’t know the kids were going to call you.” Clint walked down a long hallway to a massive kitchen.

“I called, she emphasized the 'I', “ because you were supposed to call me at noon.”

“Kate, where’d we put the putty?” Clint hollered to his protege somewhere in the penthouse.

“Clint!” Laura yelled.

“What?”

She blew out a breath loudly.

“It’s only our anniversary this weekend.”

“Oh, yeah. Happy anniversary, babe.”

“No, this weekend…”

“I’ll send you some flowers and New York candy. The kids and I went to Dylan’s and went crazy.”

Kate came into the room.

“Tell Cooper to finish his game, we gotta go.” Clint said.

"Is that Nadia? Tell her our matching shirts for the concert came in"

“No, it’s Laura.”

“Oh, hi, Laura!” Kate stuck her face into frame and waved.

“Hi, Kate.” Laura tried to muster some enthusiasm.

“Cooper, get Nate and let's go!” Kate bounded out.

“Clint.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He finally looked into the phone. “What were you saying?”

“So, when are you coming home?”

“I changed the flights to Monday.”

“That’s almost another week.’

“It’s not like the kids have school.”

“I thought we could spend our anniversary together.”

“Seventeen years, it’s not one of the milestones.”

“That’s rude.”

“I mean,” he rolled his eyes, “our daughter has a once in a lifetime opportunity to see her favorite singer at Madison Square Garden in premium seats. For free. We could not afford to do this for her. Do you really want to make her come home so we can go to Applebee’s?”

“I guess not.”

“She’ll think you’re the best mom for letting her stay.”

“Well, let me talk to her one more time.”

“She’s already out the door with Kate and the boys.”

Laura didn’t hide her annoyance.

“I promise she’ll call you tomorrow. We have to go meet Nat and the others. Have a good time with your girls.” He set the phone down.

“What did you say?”

“Have a good time." He picked it back up but all Laura could see was walls. "I’ll tell the kids you miss them. Bye, hon.”

“Wait…”

He hung up.

Laura stared at her phone for a long moment before flinging it on the bed. She gathered up the little, black nightie she’d bought for this weekend and shoved it back in the bag.

find the whole series here....laura whump

#whumptober2023 #no. 3 #it's all for nothing #marvel #clintasha #fic #light whump #hawkeye #black widow #laura barton #natasha romanov #clint barton #when will you let her go

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voidthewanderer · 4 months

Note

Do you have any writing tips? I feel so stupid. I've only written couple of one shots, and I'm planning on writing chapters, too. I just... Can't seem to write more than 2k at a time.

I am not articulate as I'd like to be and I just feel so stupid. 😭😭😭😭

I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm probably not the best person to ask this, as I just... write. I don't worry about if someone's going to shit on me for having "too many descriptors" or "telling and not showing" or anything like that.

I also want you to bear in mind that I was reading Stephen King books by the time I was like six. I was on a higher reading and writing comprehension level than my classmates at a very early age, which probably did help me when I actually got into creative writing. (Please also note that I am not saying this to say that I’m smarter than other people, just that I read higher reading levels at a very early age)

If found that the things that help me best, outside of just write and read a lot:

Plot: Plotting doesn’t have to be big fancy brainstorm trees or essentially writing the entire story without actually writing it. It could even just be a simple flow of start -> rise -> climax -> fall -> end. And then you do small flesh outing from there. I personally do these I notebooks rather than on the computer.

Draft: I only do an editing draft; essentially just a first draft that I work on in Google Docs when I’m on the go. I ignore vocal quirks for when characters are talking, spelling and grammatical errors, don’t worry about the word count. I just write until I feel like it’s at a good point to stop. There’s no need to worry about over or under writing details because you’ll edit that stuff later.

Edit: I probably do editing a bit differently than everybody else does, because I have dedicated word documents for my stories rather than solely using Google Docs. I open the browser window side by side with the document that has the final write up, this way I also have easy access to go to old writings for character vocal quirks, websites to help with descriptors and actions, and overall just getting to reread over the work and make the changes I want. Add and remove content.

Proofread: REREAD YOUR WORK. Do this MANY times. Yes, you will get sick of it. But, if you’re anything like me, you will kick yourself if you find spelling and grammar mistakes that slipped through the cracks.

I wouldn’t worry about the word count or anything of that sort. Sometimes, you can get exactly what you want or need to get out in 1k words, and sometimes you need 5k. Length is hand in hand with the flow of a piece. If you read my story, Mnemonic Impressions, you can see that it’s stagnant after a certain point rather than flow. Whereas if you read Addicted, it has a flow. It’s all about how long you want to take to get to the ultimate climax of the story.

Something else that may help is when you see writing prompts? Even if you don’t actively take requests, just grab one that interests you and write! It’s a good exercise to get into the flow of writing.

You’re not stupid for not feeling like you know what to say or not being able to write over a certain amount of words. Writing is hard! Writing is very hard. I can tell you that I haven’t actually updated Mnemonic Impressions in nearly two years now because I’m stuck and don’t really know where to go next.

I know it sounds bullshit, but you sometimes just gotta keep your nose to the grindstone and keep pushing. If you gotta take a break every 2k words and then come back, do that! It’s all a matter of finding what works the best for you!

#shut it void

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cosmicrecluse · 6 years

Text

Heres the full memoir minus the boring academic part at the end

A Stand Taken by People No Taller Than 5 Feet

The trees were tall back then, much taller than they are now. Everything was bigger when I was that age. The year of Adventure Camp, the first advanced camp I’d been able to attend since I’d turned ten, was to be my best yet. I had grown to the age where I no longer experienced the homesickness that would strike younger children midweek. Camp had finally become the ultimate escapism from all the hardships of home.

This particular camp appeared as a traditional one, one that allowed children to hike and explore nature while also learning from it. Unfortunately, this was not what we got. The program had no hiking aside from following the path to and from the mess hall, no exploring aside from the occasional kid who would wander off path only to be dragged back, no “adventure” of any kind really.

The closest we ever got to nature were the few nights we built a fire and cooked a meal over it, a time when campers were finally set loose into the woods with minimal supervision to bring back fuel for our makeshift stove. The meal was never good, in all honesty, but watching the flames lick at the meats and vegetables as the sun slowly set made something in me need- no, require- to be freer.

One of the days, after the food was gone and our fire cooled, my need for real adventure had grown into a roaring hunger. Daylight had not yet fully disappeared but twilight made the sun appear red, the forest past our cabins somehow more wild. It was everything I’d wanted from the forest.

“Can I draw with that?” I asked one of our counselors, Scout, as I pointed to the blackened wood left in our firepit. Scout believed it to be an innocent request, but if she’d been able to see no more than half an hour into the future she most certainly would not have let me touch the scorched tinder.

“Of course, just don’t eat it, kiddo,” She allows with a joke, unaware of what she’d set into motion. With charcoal in hand, I quickly ran off to set to work.

Intricate and stylized, the markings I’d drawn onto my skin created a look similar to the ones I’d seen my own mother smear onto my brother and me during Halloween. They coated my arms and face, lines running to a central point at my eyes. I’d planned on running into the woods with what I thought was camouflage, I would hide within the thickening shadows and go on a real adventure.

More children gathered around me, gawking at the decorations I’d drawn. They wanted some of their own, wanted to join me. And so, more charcoal was harvested and more campers gained painted faces.

Once done, we believed we needed weapons in order to defend ourselves from the oh so dangerous Ohio wildlife. Sticks from our surroundings kindly offered themselves to us and were easily sharpened against concrete pathways and rocks. These, too, were covered with markings from our charcoal.

Our plot had gone unnoticed to the counselors, who must have thought it’d been nothing more than a game, something we were doing to pass the time before bed. Though, they had a surprise of their own for us.

“Come on adventurers, we’ve got something to tell you all!” Another counselor gathers us together, her voice chipper. This one was named Ghost, as she was our resident spook and monster expert.

The 20 or so of us form a circle, our bright, big eyes looking up at the people we’d known as adults at the time. Looking back, they were barely older than I am today. They towered over many of us, and we were to follow their commands to the T.

But now we’d grown restless of being followers, we were meant to be explorers and trailblazers, not sit like ladies. The group already began to shift where they stood, the tension thick enough to cut for us but seemingly invisible to our counselors.

“The popstar camp is coming for a dance party in a few minutes! So you guys should all wash your faces off and get ready!” Ghost smiled at all of us and we simply stared back. No one moves. The counselor’s glance at each other uncomfortably.

“Kids, Ghost gave you something to do,” The head counselor, Tiger, prompts. We stay in our places.

We were adventurers, not dancers, and after three days of being subjected to dull lectures and zero fun, we’d had enough. The campers would no longer follow orders from them.

“Put them in the cabin,” I said, having become a sort of leader to the band of girls. It was a simple request that the campers eagerly fulfilled. Three college-age adults stood no chance against over a dozen preteens who were hungry as rabid wolves for a taste of freedom.

The door is slammed shut after the three adults were stuffed into their shared cabin. Erin, a friend I’d made at the start of the week, forms a small team of campers who begin stacking the rocks we’d used to contain our fire to create a barricade.

No longer did we want to escape into the woods, our plans had changed with only a few words. Now was the time to liberate ourselves, at least in my head. A ten-year-old cannot be trusted to understand the world, but I knew that I wanted to own our campsite one way or another.

I take my place atop a small rock, lifting my barely sharpened stick above my head and shouting to my campers. Those not keeping our would-be counselor’s trapped hurry around me. They shout and call, beating their own play spears against the dirt in a chaotic sign of unity.

“What now?” a voice calls over the crowd, silencing the uproar. The voice belonged to Emily, the oldest of our campers. She was not one I’d befriended, but she was highly respected for her age of twelve, compared to our tens and elevens. The campers turned to me once again for orders.

“We’re gonna get the popstar girls and make sure they never come back here again,” I reply, a proud smile upon my face and my dinky spear pointed at the path the other camp would have to take. The suggestion is met with more animalistic howls and bellows, followed by pounding feet as the girls rush to the underbrush. I take a seat on my rock, soaking in the summer air thick violent anticipation.

Only a few minutes later, the path erupted in screaming and pounding feet. The popstar camp arrived, the ambush had begun. I take up my stick and join my campers in their chase. The other two counselors that’d arrived with this new group were promptly shoved into a cabin of their own, a new barricade beginning to be constructed to trap them as well.

As the sounds of screaming children, pounding fists against securely sealed doors, and the howling laughter of my newly feral campers filled the humid air, a thought entered my head. A simple thought, one that I, in my juvenile and power-mad state, believed to be just. In order to prevent another forced dance party, the droll days that had filled what was meant to be an adventurous week, the iron control of our counselors, a sacrifice had to be made.

I, being a child with an odd set of parents, had grown up learning of my Aztec ancestors. I had become used to the idea of killing a member of society to a bloodthirsty god in order to bring about peace.

With this knowledge, misinterpreted as it was, I called my campers to me once more. I reminded them of the tale of the Wumpus, a made of creature Ghost had sung a song about. It was a horrible beast that would snatch any child that wandered off path and steal their hair to replace the tail that it had lost.

Given that we were all young, stupid, and likely on the biggest adrenaline rushes of our short lives, multiple girls leaped at the chance to be made a sacrifice. Brianna, a girl who’d always been eager to be the first to any activity was quickly chosen.

A scarf was taken from a tent, rocks were gathered, and the girl tied to a small tree. While the pop star campers huddled together inside the community cabin that was meant to be a dance hall, we began singing the Wumpus Song Ghost had taught us in broken and ugly tones. As we did this, we struck the rocks together in an attempt to cause sparks as we’d seen our counselors do to light our cooking fire.

However, again, we were stupid and overly excited children, we did not know that the adults had used flint and steel, nor did we realize that the Wumpus was not real. But we continued on regardless; until a storm of adults from every camp arrived. Our rebellion, as I’ve come to call it, was squashed by threats of calling our parents.

#dont look at me...#this is a true fuckin story..#let the hermit write #also this is a draft so ignore all the grammar errors

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writteninkat · 3 years

Note

Heyy🦙 I'm writing fanfiction for Hinata (form Haikyuu) and I'm gonna post it once I'm done but that's besides the point..

actually request: Any of the MHA/BNHA boys catch you writing/reading/drawing fanfiction/fan art

the characters are your pick

um- I never tell you this but dont stress yourself either🥰😚

BNHA GUYS CATCHING YOU WITH FANFICTION/FANART

w/ Bakugou, Iida, Kirishima, Denki, Shoto

warnings: suggestive themes

a/n: i'm having trouble falling asleep these days and it's taking a toll on my daily activities but i'm sure i'll manage, thank you :")

navigation

KATSUKI BAKUGOU

catches you reading fanfiction

blond bb knows you love to read, as a matter of fact, he's aware you read more than you spend time with him. and he's alright with that cause he'd rather chill with you in silence than listen to you talk his ear out lol

just because he doesn't mind you with your hobby doesn't mean he isn't curious about it

what kind of books are you reading that have your eyes glued to your screen the whole day every day?

he never does this and really doesn't want to do it but curiosity killed the cat. as you bake cookies with Mina downstairs, you left your phone in your room to charge

Katsuki takes this as his chance to snoop. He won't go to any other app, he'll head straight to your reading apps and sites.

Jujutsu Kaisen x Reader?

Haikyuu x Reader?

Naruto x Reader?

and what the fuck is 'lemon' and 'smut'?

he puts your phone back, discreetly leaving your room to do some research in his room

ah, so you've been reading 2k-10k worth of words of fanfiction about Jujustu Kaisen, Haikyuu and Naruto characters pleasing you...

he shall now delete his search history and pretend he never found out about this part of you

TENYA IIDA

catches you drawing fanart

everyone in 1A knows you draw and that you're amazing at it

Class press never forgets/fails to compliment your drawings, even if you the pieces are half down

but that's the thing. you always let him see and sometimes you even let him watch as you draw, so why are you hiding this particular piece from him?

he guesses it's a surprise for him- but hold on, he doesn't have tattoos or pink hair. so who is it?

while you're in the bathroom, he sneakily takes a peak at your work and thinks he should regret it but honestly, the art is so good he can't even find it anything remotely negative

it's a fanart of who he remembers is Sukuna, the kind of curses from the TV show Jujutsu Kaisen. he's on a throne with a mountain of skulls underneath it, a corner of his lips tugged up into a smile as a woman's head rests in between his thighs

he probably should regret ever taking a peek but the details, holy shit. the shading, the hand- everything just sends shivers down his spine

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA

catches you writing fan fiction

red boi always loves listening to you type as you study or do your homework, he uses it as a sleeping aid. as you work diligently on your desk, he lays on your bed, slowly drifting to sleep land

today, however, your typing sounds different. it's much faster, more rushed and he can't help his curiosity from growing at how you're biting on your lip, smiling as you typed

from what he knows, you absolutely hate typing essays so why do you look so excited right now?

he lets it slide, sleeping to the sound of your rushed typing.

the next day, you ask Eijiro to bring your laptop with him cause you're about to watch a movie with the whole class and the files are in your comouter

it's not even his fault, your laptop was left open and on and when he moved to turn it off, he catches a glimpse of "Tsukishima runs a hand down your thigh, his hot breath rising goosebumps all over your body." and suddenly he's reading the whole chapter

you barge in your room, yelling and asking what took him so long only to catch him glued to your computer screen, mouth left ajar.

you quickly snatch the PC from him, earning a whine. "Give it back! I need to know if Tsukki likes me back!" He pouts.

"This isn't for you to read, Eij! Leave it alone!"

"Oh sure, so your ten thousand followers in tumblr can read it but I, your boyfriend, can't. Okay, yeah. I see just how Eijirophobic you are."

he's pouting the whole day until you finally give in and let him read your drafts. allowing him to correct your grammar and spelling errors along the way

SHOTO TODOROKI

catches you reading fan fiction

this man is utterly confused why you're suddenly reading so much and how your vocabulary is slowly expanding but he's happy for you

as the both of you are in his room, silent as the both of you read your own books, Shoto can't help but get curious

so as you fall asleep with your phone still turned on, he takes his chance to get a peek

he also wants to read the books you're reading, he wants to learn more and improve himself. if your english grades had risen up from reading what you read, surely he'll also learn from how "Toji places your leg on his shoulder as he continues to pound in"-

as a matter of fact maybe he is okay with what he knows now. sometimes ignorance is bliss after all

DENKI KAMINARI

catches you watching fanart

you've forgotten about the wall of mirrors behind you and you're scrolling down your current favorite artist's twitter page, flood liking their posts

mind you their fanarts are 18+ so you thought it'd be best to face your boyfriend so he won't be able to see what you're looking at.

no, yeah you're a complete idiot.

Denki presses his lips together, trying to contain his laughter as he videotapes your reflection. you're zooming into the intricate details of a Gojo fanart with his blue polo shirt completely unbuttoned and sweat glistens over his sculpted abs

"Babe what are you doing?" Denki asks, now zooming into your face after showing to the camera what you're zooming in to

"There's a mirror behind me, is there?" You ask, now feeling like a complete idiot as your boyfriend laughs, absolutely no sound coming out of his mouth as his mouth stretches widely

You face your phone screen at him, showing the fanart. "I'd cheat on you with Gojo."

Denki continues laughing, now out of breath. "And of course I'd be pissed cause why the hell did Gojo pick you and not me?"

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hnychn · 3 years

Text

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 [𝐈𝐈𝐈]

sypnosis : life with your five lovers has been more than fulfilling, but when you're paired with a student from general studies for a project, your quintet seems a little less full

word count : 4000+

warnings : mutual pining, gender neutral reader, relationship insecurities, bakugo tries but. . .it doesn't go as well as he planned, grammar errors and spelling errors, it's . . . a long one, a bit rushed at the end so uhh pls don't mind that :)

parts : [ 𝐈 ] [ 𝐈𝐈 ] [ 𝐈𝐈𝐈 ]

a/n : so sorry for the long wait LMAO- i know i said my bokuto fic would be coming out today but uhhh ahaha my depression hit me full force this weekend and i didn't even look at the dock because i was too busy sleeping, but uhh enjoy this :D

↩︎ back to student masterlist | main mha masterlist

- WELCOME TO PART THREE sorry for the log wait 😭 life has been kicking my ass but we're not here to hear me complain, we're here for the tea

- so, it's a couple months after you joined the bakusquad and their relationship. and let me tell you, it has been nothing but amazing. 😩 your days are never quiet and they're always filled with some sort of excitement and love.

- you kaminari and mina often get into trouble for leaving the dorms late at night because you want snacks and there's nothing in the kitchens. you become kirishima's pillow, don't matter about your size or whatever, you are his pillow and you better not argue 🔫 sero always puts on some type of bachata or reggaeton or some spanish song and dances with you in his dorms. and bakugo is your go to person to cook with and just generally annoy or prank since it's so easy to get a reaction out of him.

- and you couldn't have asked for a better relationship. you all are so communicative and talk about your feelings often and how you're doing. every saturday or sunday, you all go to a dorm (usually it's bakugo's cause it's the cleanest) and have a huge cuddle pile and talk about your mental states, how you're doing, what you have problems with, etc etc.

- like damn ok i see you with the mentally and emotionally stable relationship 🤪🤪

- it's so refreshing too because sometimes you'll have a tough week and you jsut need to let it all out, and you can in the comfort of bakugo's dorm and you know none of them will judge you because they're all so open about their love for you (and vise versa)

- anyways, yeah y'all got the best relationship

- you never thought about anyone else in a romantic sense because the squad took up nearly all of the space in your heart. but when you teacher announced one day the general studies kids would be coming in to have a joint project to create gadgets for the hero course students, you had no idea your life would suddenly be turned upsidedown.

- you were paired with a guy named shinsou. he looked friendly enough and returned the wave you sent him with a little surprise as he made his way to the open seat next to you. he seemed surprised when you started a small conversation but he talked to you in a quiet soothing voice. he seemed nice enough and you figured the project would be a breeze since he seemed so nice and offered to meet up over the weekend to start up some ideas for the project.

- you agreed and the two of you met up that lunch period in the library to pre-draft some ideas and get to know each other more.

"i'm surprised you don't mind being seen with me."

his sudden comment took you by surprise as you looked up from your paper with messily drawn gadgets and chicken scratch writing to look up at him, "what do you mean?"

it was true you had never seen him before or even heard of him, but his hesitance to talk to you and open up to you made you feel as though you should.

shinsou rubbed the back of his neck and looked away shyly, "so you really haven't heard anything about me, have you?"

he looked almost guilty to bring it up, his gaze falling to the table in front of him as be played with a strand of his hair.

you shook your head. you never really payed attention to gossip around school, your head always too high up in the clouds to care about rumors and gossip (bakugo often scolded you for being such an airhead and ignorant to your surroundings, but you knew he was just worried about something happening to you). plus, to you, gossip was nearly never right and more often made up and fictitious.

shinsou refused to look up at you, "well. . .i'm known throughout the school as a. . ." he looked hesitant to continue but before you could reassure him he didn't have to talk about it if he didn't want to, he continued, "well, a villain."

he prised his lips as if the words left a bitter taste in his mouth, and all you could do was tilt your head. shinsou didn't seem like a bad person - or a 'villain' as he had said. on the way to the library he held open doors for you and helped you carry some of your books to your locker and even bought you a drink you wanted buy but were a bit short of change on.

"do you think you are?"

"what?" shinsou looked at you for the first time since he brought up the topic.

"do you think you're a villain?" he shuffled slightly in his seat and looked away again from your intense stare. he felt like you were looking straight into his soul from how strongly you were looking into his eyes, he wasn't sure if you had even blinked in the last minute.

shinsou thought back to all the times he's been called a villain or a criminal. it was always unwarranted, a passing comment that seemed like no big deal to others but shattered his heart into smaller and smaller pieces. but never once had he ever thought he was a villain - a monster.

if anything, he used those comments as encouragement to become a hero, to be better than those who always thought he would turn to a life of crime. so, "no... i don't think i'm a villain."

"well, that's that."

shinsou could only stare at you, your smile brighter than any star he'd ever seen, so full of hope and encouragement shinsou felt like he could take on the world. he looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, a shy smile pulling at his lips and a weird feeling blossoming in his chest. how curious. . .

- so yeah, a new friendship 🤪 the two of you started to spend a lot of free time together for the project. you would often meet up during lunches or free time between classes to work some more on the project, all the while getting to know each other in depth. you learned many things about shinsou and spilled many of your own secrets, you laughed together over old childhood stories, and played animal crossing on the rooftop during lunch, your project discarded and forgotten beside you.

- your sudden absence didn't go unnoticed by your lovers, and they grew curious to your whereabouts when you would blow them off for the fifth time that week to "work on your project". now, don't get me wrong, they had conplete trust in you and knew you would never cheat, but they were just curious as to what - or who - was taking up so much of your time.

- so, they did the smartest thing, and followed you. after blowing them off for the sixth time, they decided to follow you to your destination. mina and kaminari tried to be inconspicuous and wear disguises, but the fake mustache, black glasses (indoors, might i add) and hat weren't all too discreet as they thought.

- they followed you through every turn and weave you took and hid behind a corner when you stopped at a vending machine to get your favourite drink. but what surprised them the most was you also bought a coffee. bakugo was most surprised you even thought about even touching the can of caffine because he remembered you telling him you would get terrible caffine rushes that would make you dizzy if you drank coffee.

- but, as you finally reached the rooftop and made your way to a hunched over figure in the corner, it all made sense.

- they all saw how effortlessly you and shinsou acted around each other. they could see the soft looks he would send you when you weren't looking and the way his hand would hover over yours for a split second too long before snapping away as if you were made of lava. but surprisingly, they didn't feel any sort of jealousy or anger, it felt like a piece of them had returned they didn't even know was missing. the sort of feeling that walks through the door unexpectedly but it's wholesomely welcomed.

- the "oh, there you are, welcome back" type of feeling. they were happy you had found someone that made you feel comfortable, arguably more comfortable than you had been with them so far because truthfully, while you had felt welcomed and appreciated in the relationship, it still felt like you were an outsider. the five of them had inside jokes before you came and didn't get them when they came up, the five of them had habits special to each other that inadvertently excluded you. and while they never meant to hurt you (god knows that's the last thing they ever wanted to do), they had. but you knew that wasn't their intention so you held no malitious feelings towards them (not that you think you'd ever could).

- but the way you and shinsou so effortlessly opened up to each other, shared intimate details and secrets with each other - it warmed their hearts. so, bakugo grabbed them all by the back of their shirts and dragged them away, mumbling about giving the two of you space. there was a fond look in his eyes as he looked at the two of you he would be teased about later but would deny.

- it was undeniable bakugo held the softest spot for you. he tried as best as he could to include you in their inside jokes and habits but he was. . well . . . bakugo 🧍🏽‍♀️

- words aren't necessarily his strong suit and he could only hope his smaller actions let you know you were as loved and cherished as any of them there. and you knew, you caught on a little after bakugo had a little "secret talk" with the group (that wasn't really secret at all, he grabbed them all by their shirts and dragged them to a secluded spot while you distracted on your phone) and they all started to explain their jokes and include you in their habits.

- anyways, back to you and shinsou. 🤪 he was aware you were in a ployamorous relationship with the bakusquad and he's heard the way you talk about them and the soft airy tone of your voice and the starry look in your eyes; and he didn't want to get in between that. the last thing he ever wanted was to ruin your relationship for his own selfish reasons.

- so for the time being, he would be okay with watching you from afar, the sweetness of your love so close for him to taste; yet too far for him to savour.

- as more and more times passed, the bakusquad began to notice the lingering looks you would give shinsou when you passed him in the halls and how he would always be waiting for you outside of your class with your favourite drink before leaving you to go to lunch while he went off and . . . well, you weren't sure what he did during his free time, but he never brought it up so you never figured to ask.

- when you fell asleep the next time you all had a cuddle session in bakugo's room, they all talked about it. talked about your obvious feelings for each other and the possibility of including shinsou in their relationship. they spent hours talking about it and still talked about it even when the moon vanished over the horizon and the sun rose. and, in not very smart fashion, bakugo was tasked to confronting shinsou about their conclusion.

- which - almost as if there were an author behind all of this - didn't go as well as any of them planned.

it was perfect, really. almost as if the universe had been listening to their conversation and aligned itself perfectly for this very moment.

you woke up that morning with a terrible stomach ache and chose to stay back in your dorm after bakugo made you a bowl of soup and threatened you to take your medicine. his classes ended a little earlier than usual and, sending his lover's a nod, made his way over to your class, where, lo and behold, shinsou was standing near the door, the familiar brand of your favourite drink in one hand and his own cold coffee in the other.

bakugo wasn't sure what he was going to say when he reached shinsou. he opted to just speak from the heart over rehearsing lines with the others like they had wanted, besides, what kind of lover would be be if he couldn't even do this for you? but, what he didn't take into consideration, was his emotional constipation and tsundere attidute.

"hey, eye bags!" bakugo called out.

shinsou nearly jumped out of his skin at bakugo's sudden loud voice. he looked over with the same eyes of indifference he normally had, but bakugo could see the slight far in them. not at his brash attitude (shinsou could never be afriad of bakugo and confronting him before the sports fesitval was a perfect example of that) but the fear of ruining your relationship with the bakusquad.

shinsou nodded at bakugo when he got close enough. bakugo stood in front of him, his hands still shoved into the pockets of his pants, "they're sick."

it was a simple enough statement but shinsou blinked, "what?"

"y/n." bakugo stated and rolled his eyes as if the answer had been written on his forehead (and it basically had, shinsou was just a bit shocked at his appearance), "they're sick and mina's staying back with them in their dorm."

shinsou rubbed the back of his neck, "oh."

there was an awkward silence as the two boys stood in the vacant hallway. bakugo didn't know what to say and shinsou wasn't sure if he should leave or go visit you for their lunch break.

"i'll go drop this off to them-"

"no." bakugo practically growled, "i'll drop it off. go get eat your lunch or i'll make your face an eye bag."

shinsou flushed a bit in embarrassment. he was overstepping, of course he was. for a minute, having you all to himself for nearly a week straight made him forget about the relationship you were in and this was a smack of reality. you weren't his. you were in a relationship with others, other people who could give you nearly double what he could - everything he couldn't.

handing bakugo the drink, shinsou stalked away to the cafeteria, his cheeks still a light shade of pink. bakugo sighed and knew he most likely made things worse, and he came there originally to make things right.

but fate will work itself out. and what will be, will be.

- so... maybe sending bakugo wasn't the best idea ... 🧍🏽‍♀️

- because now, shinsou started avoiding you. when the two for you worked on your projects together, he would remain mostly silent and only input his opinion when he thought of an idea or needed help putting something together. you had no idea why and you honestly felt a little hurt that he ignored you as easily as breathing.

- you brought this up to your lovers on your weekly cuddle session, knowing they would have brought up your downpour attitude either way. what you didn't notice as your face was burried in denki's sweater were the glares they all were throwing at bakugo.

- "yeah, i wonder what happened..." sero smiled, though obviously strained, as he pet your head and told you shinsou was probably just going through something.

- and it was obvious you were hurt that shinsou had suddenly stopped talking to you because honestly it was kind of hard for you to make friends. a lot of people assumed you thought you were higher than everyone else because you were dating five students from the top hero course, but that obviously is far from the truth.

- anyways, a long time goes by and the two of you still haven't rekindled anything and the squad is getting a bit frustrated because hello??? join our cult lover circle ?????

- so the squad comes up with another solution and this time they don't send bakugo to collect shinsou

- they learned their mistake last time.

- anyways

- so sero goes and gets shinsou and tells him you need him for a little last touch of the project since it was near the due date and you wanted to make sure it was perfect. and shinsou agrees to meet up with you and follows sero.

- sero takes him into an empty classroom and it's pitch black. the windows have been covered with tape and all the lights are off. before he could ask what the hell was going on, the door slams shut and the lights suddenly turn on and shinsou's blinded for a moment.

- and he's met with a very interesting sight.

- mina, kaminari, and kirishima are standing in front of him with sunglasses and hats on, their arms are crossed and they have a blank look on their faces (though he can tell kaminari is about to burst into laughter and nearly does but kirishima jabs him in his side.)

- "uhh..."

- "shut up, eye bags." bakugo calls from behind him. he's leaning against the door with his arms crossed and an obviously pissed off look on his face.

- sero is just standing next to him with a 'sorry pal' kind of smile.

- "what is-"

- "what are your intentions with, y/n?" kaminari shouted suddenly as he slammed his hand on a nearby desk.

- "denki- no." mina pushed him back lightly, "that's not what-"

- "did you not listen last night, sparky?" bakugo rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly.

- kaminari shyly scratched his cheek, "i might have fellen asleep-"

- "he did." sero confirmed, "he drooled on me and everything.

- "I do not drool!!"

- "yes you do, it was like a waterfall, 'ki. "

- "no i don't, right kiri?"

- "well.. only a few drops.."

- "WHAT?! and none of you told me?!"

- "well, y/n kind of made us promise not to tell..."

- "SPEAKING OF Y/N," mina interjected into the conversation, her fingers rubbing at her temples as she wondered when she became the rational one, that was bakugo's job, "why don't we stick to the script, boys."

- kirishima slung an arm over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her cheek, "sorry, princess."

- "right." sero turned to shinsou and crossed his arms, "you have feelings for them don't you?"

- shinsou tensed. his mind was still trying to comprehend the conversation that happened just a few seconds ago and processing the fact that kaminari drools in his sleep. he wasn't sure how to respond.

- of course he had feelings for you, any rational person who came into contact with you would catch feelings. it was part of your natural charm that seemed to effortlessly draw people in and never let them go. in a matter of minutes, you had simultaneously become his best friend and his closest confidant. often at night he cursed himself for catching feelings for you when things were perfect just the way they were.

- but shinsou couldn't help it. you had treated him like a normal person and weren't apprehensive about his quirk. you gave him a taste of normalcy in his world of anxieties and judgement, and he craved more and more the more time he spent with you.

- so dispte wanting to desparately scream 'yes, i do love her' at the top of his lungs, he looked down at the ground, "no. . . i . . i don't."

- "liar."

- bakugo seethed behind him.

- shoving himself off the wall he was leaning on, bakugo walked closer and closer to shinsou as he spoke, "don't lie. we all see the way you look at them, the way your stupid face lights up with a small smile when they're with you or the airy chuckle you give when they do one of those stupid dances when they make food and-"

- "OK OK I GET IT!" shinsou snapped. mina jumped slightly in kirishima's arms and shinsou sent her a small apologetic look, "you know! I'm in love with them! i've been. . ." he trailed off before collapsing into a chair behind him, his head hanging back and staring into the bright flourescent lights hanging from the ceiling.

- "i've been trying to distance myself from them, to make getting over them easier."

- "they've been hurting, y'know."

- shinsou groaned and hid his face in his hands, "i know. you think i don't see the looks they give me when i avoid them in the halls? it hurts knowing i'm the reason they're in pain."

- "so why are you doing it?"

- "because they have you guys," shinsou sighed as it if we're the most obvious thing in the world, "you all could love them a lot more than i ever could alone. plus, they're so happy with you, i couldn't be the reason to disturb that."

- "you gotta be fucking kidding me." bakugo growled and pinched the bridge of his nose.

- kaminari snorted, "i think i just got deja vu."

- "you could say that again," mina sighed, "i'm heading back to the dorms, this is giving me a headache."

- with his arm still slung over her shoulder, kirishima agreed, "yeah, not sure how we didn't see this from the beginning. i'll walk you back, princess."

- shinsou only stared blankly as mina and kirishima left the room with kaminari in tow, complaining about getting some math work done. never in his life did he feel as confused as he did now

- lost. mans was lost..

- someone get him a map and help him please

- they acted as if they hadn't been the ones to literally kidnap him

- only to nonchalantly walk out the door?????

- sero's voice snapped him back to the remaining two people in the room, "you two really are a match made in heaven." sero smiled at him and shinsou felt head rise in his cheeks, whether it be from embarassment or something else, he didn't know.

- "i'll see you two around" and then he left, leaving shinsou alone with bakugo, who had yet to realease the bridge of his nose from his pinch.

- "you're both a pair of dumbasses."

- "i'm offended-"

- "y/n said the same fucking thing when we confronted them."

- shinsou stayed silent.

- "they felt like their presence would ruin the routine we had set a long time ago when we first started our relationship. . . sound familiar?"

- shinsou rubbed the back of his neck and opened his mouth to speak, but bakugo interrupted.

- "shut up, eye bags, i'm not finished."

- "i dIdNt eVEn sAy aNyTHiNg"

- "sure there were some things we had to adjust to include them in our schedule and a whole new bundle of emotions to incorporate into our lives; but the while point of a relationship is to open up slowly and learn to trust the ones you love. and eventually, we all learned to trust them the same way they learned to trust us; but trust isn't something you can learn over night. it's gradual."

- bakugo sighed, how in the hell did he get stuck in this situation again. at the very least no one got injured this time, "what I'm trying to say is, if y/n makes you happy, then we're all willing to let you in our relationship and put our trust in you.

- "will you put your trust in us?"

- how dramatic ˙ ͜ʟ˙

- so

- :) shinsou decides, fuck it. i deserve the good things in life, and he puts his trust in the squad the same way they all put their trust in him.

- and they decided it was a good time to surprise you too and kill two birds with one stone :)

- so you walk in to bakugo's dorm after a long day of school. you were returning from turning in your project with shinsou, and while the teacher had given you many compliments and basically secured your A, you still felt a bit sad knowing it would be the last time you would see shinsou since your schedules didn't collide and you had ended on a . . . confusing note.

- so you were just looking to cuddle with your lovers on a Friday night and wallow away in your sadness.

- when you walked in the group had been piled in their natural spots on bakugo's bed. mina was giggling with kaminari as they scrolled through tiktok, bakugo was reading a book you had reccomend to him a while a go, sero and kirishima were softly play fighting as they laughed and chuckled.

- everything was as it should be

- until you got to where your spot usually was, cradled between bakugo's warm and firm chest and mina's plush thighs and stomach, and it was occupied by someone else.

- everyone stopped what they were doing, as they watched a smile pull at your lips when you recognised the disheveled pruple hair lazily sprawled in your spot. everyone watched with bated breath as they waited for your reaction and small smiles of their own shining through as they watched your interaction.

- you lifted your hand and smacked shinsou's knee that had been raised up slightly as one of his arms lay behind his head and the other fiddled with a bracelet around mina's wrist, and his lips pulled into a lazy smirk of his own as he watched you.

- "get up, fat head, you're in my spot."

- his smirk only grew.

- "do something about it, hero."

see my pinned post to join my taglist (^ム^)

#mha headcanons #my hero academia #imagines #mha #bakugo x reader #mina x reader #sero x reader #kaminari x reader #kirishima x reader #poly bakusquad #bakusquad poly #shinsou x reader #my hero academia imagines #mha x reader #gender neutral reader

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fanficwritersinterviewed · 2 years

Text

ITWW, shey

<<This post is a part of a longer conversation about fanfic writers, how they view fanfic, and their writing process. All views are the fanfic writer’s own, and whatever fanfic they choose to write is entirely their own decision. No judgment value will be placed on fic content. These conversations are meant to provide insight for other fanfic writers in whatever stage they are at in their writing life>>

In the Weeds Wednesday (with Shey, @shey-elizabeth )

So let’s talk process. When you start a fic what happens first for you? It depends on the type of fic. Short things (which tends to be anything less than 10k for me) just kind of happen. I usually have a vague outline in my head, but otherwise they do what they do. Long fic usually starts with a lot of brainstorming, followed by a vague outline that gets added to as I go. I typically have a list of scenes and plot points that gets fleshed out as I start writing and figure out who the characters are going to be and what their backstory is in this fic. I usually have a pretty solid plan by the time I finish the first scene or two, but other things definitely sneak in as I go.

You said before that you write about 2k and then edit for a long time after that. What's the typical rhythm of all that for you? Do you keep to a schedule? I try not to have a schedule since I've found that makes things less enjoyable. I do have an idea in my head of when I'd like to post the next chapter of my WIPs, but that's as far as I get. I'm also not someone who needs to post as soon as I finish. I'm much more likely to sit on a fic for a month or more and post it when I feel good about it.

I've been told my writing process is a lot like drafting? I get words on the page, and then I rewrite them until they do what I want them to. I might write an entire scene and change the dialogue four times (including the meaning of the conversation) until I get to something that sounds right. I also go back and add layers. I'll fill in emotion, inner monologue, and movement with each pass through until it feels complete. There's a lot of rearranging and adding. Not usually much subtracting. My goal is usually to get the scene down so I don't forget where I want to go, and then fix it so it actually works the way I intended.

This last pass through is usually adjusting word choice, making sure I'm not repeating phrases, and checking that the dialogue flows.

What part of the writing process brings you pleasure? Writing? Sculpting it in edits? Honestly, the actual writing is the hardest part and the part I have to gear myself up for. Writing will probably always be hard for me, but the finished product makes it worth it. I really enjoy the sculpting of it (LOVE that term! I'm totally stealing it, thank you!) and of course, the “having written” (I write most of my fic so I can read it, after all!). I do adore the comments from readers, too. They make the stress so worth it! My favorite part though, is getting the doc back from my beta and finding out if what I wrote actually worked. I love that feedback and seeing how the suggested edits make everything come together. It's like magic and so satisfying.

What's the hardest thing you've ever attempted with your writing and why was it challenging? Honestly, the hardest thing has been finishing my first fic. It was supposed to be a mid-length, self-indulgent, smutty little getting-together fic. And it's all of that, except the mid-length part! I started it before I really learned anything about the writing process, and I've grown so much as a writer in the two and a half years since then that the first few chapters feel almost unrecognizable to me. I've gone back and edited them (there were some grammar errors that I just couldn't ignore!) but I know the second half is a lot stronger than the first. That made it difficult to keep working on, and it sort of became this looming monster in my head. I started to feel like it was never going to be done. I actually stepped away from it for most of 2021, even though I only had a chapter left, and I knew it wasn't actually a difficult chapter to write. Every time I opened the doc, I would just stare at it and it felt completely impossible.

What I ended up doing was focusing on my other long fic– “Sugarcoated”– and getting that story done. I convinced myself that if I could finish it I could undo this block I had about finishing the other long fic. It seems like it worked, because I finally finished “Sugarcoated” in October, and that took so much pressure off. Now that I can look at it and go "finishing long fics is possible! It's a thing that I've done!" it's given me confidence to actually sit down and get my first fic done.

What's the best piece of writing advice you ever got and how have you applied it to your own writing? Oh man, I’ve gotten so much fantastic advice! Everything from technical (try not to start sentences with “ing” words) to process advice like what to do if you get stuck (go back seven sentences, or skip to the next scene). Probably my favorite piece of writing advice was about how to avoid “puppet syndrome” in my smut scenes. That’s the thing where the whole scene is just action without the emotions attached. You aren’t getting inside the character’s heads enough and the sex becomes “insert tab A into slot B”. It ends up feeling flat, or disconnected, and you aren’t sure why. Making sure the characters’ emotions and reactions are present in the scene is a big focus for me.

I wrote a super smutty one-shot recently that had the working title “Stetopher Filth” and I got a comment asking how I was able to write filthy things that were also so sweet. That made my day. That fic has some heavy kinks in it, so it was extra important to me that the readers saw how much the characters cared for each other. I wanted the emotions front and center every step of the way. That comment told me I was successful!

Haha, that’s great! “Puppet Syndrome.” I usually say it feels like having two dolls and mashing them together, but now I’ll think of muppets, thank you for that horrifically wonderful thought!

Alright, lastly: say something nice about your own writing. Something nice about my own writing… I actually like most of my fics a lot. There's some great advice out there that says "write for yourself." I've always written things because I wanted to read them, and I think that that makes it easier to feel good about the results!

#fanfic writers interviewed #in the weeds wednesday #shey #fanfic #writing

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yourstarvic · 3 years

Note

Could you please do prompt 5 and 3 with Atsumu?

“(Y/n)-Chan!” You heard a voice behind you as you were walking out of the building. You and your older brother, Shugo Meian, sighed as you heard the familiar voice, coming up next to you.

“What can I help you with Miya-San?” You gave him a small smile, halting your step to look at him.

“I wanted to tell you a joke!” Atsumu said, ignored the disgusting look his captain was giving him.

“Okay?” You questioned, waiting for him to tell you.

“What do trees say?” Atsumu asked, giving you a childlike smile.

“I don’t know,” you chuckled, trying to stop the growing smile, “leaves?”

“Oh,” Atsumu pouted, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “I wish I thought of that.”

“What did you come up with?” You smiled, raising your eyebrows at him.

“I don’t remember,” Atsumu smiled at you. But it turned into a smirk as he bends down at your level to say, “I’m stumped.”

“That wasn’t funny,” You scoffed off your laughter, trying not to laugh so much. But the growing smile on your face showed that you did enjoy the joke.

“Perfect, you’re smiling,” Atsumu noted as he stood straight with an awe expression, “you have a beautiful smile.”

“Thank you,” you blushed, biting down on your lip nervously.

“Now to do step three,” Atsumu muttered to himself. Atsumu started to feel nervous, feeling everyone stare at him as he talked to the captain’s younger sister. All of his teammates saw how Meian was glaring at Atsumu, wanting him away from you, his innocent sister.

“I didn’t know he liked (Y/n),” Hinata muttered, watching Atsumu becoming nervous.

“She is going to say no,” Sakusa stated, “(Y/n) can do so much better.”

“Agree,” the two boys and a few members around them nodded.

Atsumu felt annoyed and a bit hurt hearing them agree to Sakusa, but he shook it off. Taking a deep breath, Atsumu gave you a nervous smile as he stated, “Go out and have dinner with me. Before your brother kills me.”

You gave him a smile, making Atsumu sighed out in relief seeing he didn’t mess up. Grabbing a piece of a napkin from your purse and a pen, you wrote down something and gave it to him.

“Perfect!” Atsumu said as he grabbed the napkin, “I’ll text you the time and…”

“Is something wrong, Miya-San?” You gave him an innocent smile and an innocent look in your eye.

“T-This is your email?” Atsumu questioned with a dumbstruck look on his face. “B-But your number will be easier…”

“Email me on why you want to go on a date with me,” you smiled at him, patting in on his shoulder a comfort. “Full sentences, correct grammar, formal writing, and no picture. Please, no pictures. And I’ll think about it.”

“Y-Yeah,” Atsumu slowly nodded, still dumbstruck. Everyone watching all snickered, enjoying Atsumu's expression and Meian's relieved look that you didn’t accept his proposal.

“See ya!” You waved off, walking away with Meian next to you.

Everyone else walked off, glad they stayed to watch the show. But Hinata, Bokuto, and Sakusa walked up to the frozen Atsumu. Hinata waved his hand in front of Atsumu, trying to get a reaction from him. Sakusa grabbed the paper from Atsumu outstretched to look at him. He then put it back on Atsumu's hand as told him, “That was fun to watch.”

Breaking out of his trance, Atsumu yelled, scaring Hinata and Bokuto with his outburst, “Ya just jealous that I got a way to contact (Y/n)!”

“I have her phone number you idiot,” Sakusa smirked, seeing Atsumu’s face turn to betrayal.

“Give it to me,” Atsumu said, taking a step closer to him.

“No,” Sakusa said taking a step back. Atsumu kept repeating his demand, jumping on Sakusa while Sakusa tried to get him away. Causing Bokuto to try and help but ended up falling on Sakusa. Hinata just ran, trying to catch the paper then held your email that Atsumu accidentally let go.

A few days later…

“I don’t know what to do!” Atsumu yelled in agony. Sitting on the gym floor, his back against the wall and his laptop on his lap, Atsumu pulled on his hair in frustration.

“You’re still trying to send an email to (Y/n)?” Hinata asked, taking a sip out of his water bottle.

“Yes,” Atsumu groan, “but I can’t make the perfect email. Everything I typed sounds so weird.”

“Of course it does,” Sakusa said, joining the group, “you send me a draft saying ‘your eyes are the sky, limitless.’ Who even says that?”

“Shut it!” Atsumu yelled, “I’m trying my best and my pickup lines don’t work great when it’s typed.”

“But why is your email hotsetterfordays?" Sakusa asked, cringing at the name.

“I made it when I was in high school, it’s going to follow me forever,” Atsumu muttered. “But that doesn’t matter! What matters is, I made over 100 email drafts and I can’t make the perfect one.

Putting his laptop aside leaned over and buried his face in his hands. With his face down, he could see Hinata taking the laptop and motion Sakusa to talk and ask questions.

“What would you say to her, if it was face to face?” Sakusa asked, understanding what Hinata was saying.

“I would say she’s amazing,” Atsumu smiled with his face still in his hands. “Just the way she walks in any room it would instantly brighten up. Her laughter is the most amazing thing I ever heard. And the way she talks about things. She’s so passionate about everything and always give it her all.”

“What else?” Sakusa asked again, seeing Hinata need more information to type.

“She so smart,” Atsumu looked up, chuckling softly with a loving smile, “and funny that it makes me the happiest person on earth to just being near her. Everything she does is so graceful and jaw-dropping. Even if she says no to me, as long as I get to be near her is enough.”

“That’s good,” Hinata said, giving him back his laptop, “now send it.”

“What?” Atsumu grabbed back the laptop and reading what Hinata type. “This is perfect! Now all I got to do is to send-”

“Watch out!” Bokuto yelled, but it was too late. The ball already hit Atsumu and the laptop. Sakusa and Hinata looked at Atsumu with wide eyes, seeing if he was okay. Instead of telling them, he was fine, Atsumu quickly went to his laptop to check if it was in good condition.

“It’s fine,” Atsumu breath out. But his face turned to horror when he was what was on display on his screen, “My emails… all of my emails were sent to her…”

“It be like that,” Sakusa said, making Atsumu glare at him.

Once practice was over, Atsumu walked out of the building with slump shoulders, knowing that you would never agree to go out with him after reading all those emails. Sakusa, Bokuto, and Hinata followed him, giving him words of encouragement, except for Sakusa.

“Miya-San!” Atsumu heard, making his ears perk. Looking up from the ground, Atsumu saw you running towards him with a wide smile.

“(Y/n)-Chan?” Atsumu's eyes widen, seeing it was you standing in front of him and not an illusion his mind made up.

“I read your emails,” You smiled, bitting down on your lip.

“All of them?” Atsumu cringed.

“Most of them,” you smiled at him, “there was no way I could read all 289 of your emails.”

“R-Right,” Atsumu flinched at the number.

Taking a step closer to him, you gave him a teasing smile, “Also, I would love to go have dinner with you.”

“Really?” Atsumu eyes light up, looking at you with a bright smile.

“Really?” Bokuto, Hinata, and Sakusa asked, confused on how you could say yes to him after all those emails.

“Yes, really,” you laughed at them.

Overcoming with joy, Atsumu leaped onto you. Placing his hands on both sides of your checks and dipping his head down, capturing your lips. You were taken back at first but sank into the feeling of his lips on yours. Slowly breaking apart, Atsumu laid his forehead against yours with a carefree smile, “Be my girlfriend, so I can kiss you anytime I want.”

Giggling at him, you nodded your head and biting your lip, still in a daze because of the kiss. Atsumu pecked your lips, muttering, “You are so beautiful, it hurts.” In-between each kiss, making sure to kiss every part of your face.

“They do know we are still here?” Sakusa asked, looking at them in disgust.

“Should we tell them that Meian is coming over here and looks mad at Tsumu?”

Notes: I tried to get all the grammatical errors, I’m sorry if I didn't catch them all!

#miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu #atsumu imagine #miya atsumu x y/n #miya atsumu x you #haikyuu sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu hinata #bokuto #msby #msby black jackal #msby black jackals #meian

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sortagaysortahigh · 4 years

Text

White Boys Pt. 5 | Topper Thornton

“I Don’t Want To Keep Pretending”

And heres pt five guys :)) Pls there is smut in this chapter so uhm yeah, friendly reminder that they’re both grown ass legal adults in this show okay? okay. This has been in my drafts for two days and uh idk sorry if it sucks ive been going through writers block

Warnings: underage drinking, drug use (marijuana), cussing, SMUT, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral (female and male giving/receiving), fingering, creampie, spelling and grammar errors

Word count: 5k

Black!Fem!Reader x Topper thornton

Series Masterlist

Keggers at the boneyard were always the same, tourons, pogues, and kooks all at the same place, doing the same things-well drinking in some way shape or form. They usually felt the same, but this one was different for you, people shooting you questioning looks, furrowing their brows when they noticed the arm around you.

The arm just happened to belong to Topper. Everyone that knew the both of you was confused-well except for your friends-but even then, they were slightly confused. Not being used to seeing you in public with him, sure JJ had caught the two of you in the country club, but seeing you in public with Topper’s arm around you-like he was your boyfriend, threw him for a loop. Sarah shot Kiara a confused look when you arrived with him, especially after Kelce told her that your father caught the two of you.

He called you while your mother was still comforting you, at first you ignored his call, but when he called a second time your mother laughed, making a comment about how persistent he was-to which you replied with a ‘he’s always been that way’ and a small laugh. You watched the phone ring but your mother made you answer it.

Your strained voice caught him off guard, he knew that you’d be going through a lot at the moment, but he wanted to distract you from that. Telling you that he was coming to get you for the Kegger. You protested, but of course your mother made comments about how you needed to get out of the house so she could sit down with your father and have a long conversation. She also said that you could use a drink, which made Topper laugh and you were shocked.

Hell, she even helped you pick out your outfit once he hung up. Your soft locs half up half down, two strands framing your face. An orange-rather short-sundress on your body, and some birks on your feet. She said it was a cute look, and you were confused that she was okay with you wearing a dress as short as this one, but she didn’t protest, stating that you were old enough to make your own choices-and that you’d have Top and the guys there if anyone tried anything with you.

So when he pulled into your driveway, seeing him get out of the 4x4, she practically shoved you outside, throwing your bag at you while waving at Topper, a smile on her face. You looked back at her, calling her nuts before saying you’d see her later. She shrugged her shoulders and shot you a quick wink.

He smiled at you, walking up to you, kissing you, in your driveway, where anyone could see the both of you. You smiled and kissed him back, this was your unspoken way of saying you were done denying things. When he pulled away you had a smile on your face, letting his hands rest on your waist, he bit his semi-busted lip and smiled at you. You took note of his change of clothes, a yellow shirt and a pair of grey shorts, the bruises on his face settled in more but you didn’t mind them-besides you’d gotten used to seeing him with a few bruises a lot of the time.

The two of you were standing by Kelce, talking to him about some touron that he hadn’t seen since the summer before your junior year. He was going on about how much hotter she’d gotten, and how he was gonna try to hook up with her again tonight.

“Kelcie sweetie, why don’t you go talk to her” he groaned “It’s not that simple y/n! What am I supposed to do ask if she's who I think she is, ‘oh hey are you Leah’ that would never work” you shrugged, furrowing your brows, and tilting your head slightly. “Guys are so obnoxious.” Topper scoffed and you looked at him, raising a brow. “Is there something you’d like to say?”

“Not at all” you nodded, looking back at Kelce. His eyes going back and forth between the two of you. “Have you two banged? Because this chemistry is off the charts right now” you laughed at him, rolling your eyes “Nah, I don’t bang white boys” your tone was sarcastic and you stifled your laugh “I mean I’d say I’m the excep-” you cut him off “Don’t you dare say some sexual shit Topper, I’ll beat your ass”

“Yeah you two are definitely banging, it’s okay, as one of your best friends I’ll respectfully wait for you to be honest with me. But until then, y/n I need you to go talk to her for me” your mouth dropped. “Kelcie what’s in it for me?” “I’ll take you to your favorite ice cream spot” you gasped, a smile spreading across your face “the one on the mainland? Oh my god with the best waffle cones, okay it’s a deal.” Topper furrowed his brows “you actually like waffle cones?” “you’re a hater if you don’t”

“Focus here y/n, she’s right there-” he pulled you out of Toppers arm, making you laugh, facing the group of tourons by a bonfire “-she’s the one in the black bikini with the green hair-that’s Leah” you raised your brows, not expecting Kelce to go for a more alternative girl. She had to be around 5’4, lime green layered on top of black wavy hair, she had a tan, but from what you could see she also had a very intricate sleeve of tattoos. But she was an attractive girl, you just never thought that would be his type.

“She’s different from your usuals, but yeah, she’s pretty as fuck” he nodded his head “I know but that was some of the best pus-” “what’d I tell you about talking about girls like that” “okay yea sorry, go talk to her for me” you looked at Kelce, then at Topper, taking note of how zoned out he looked, staring at the drink in his cup, a small smile on his face. When you walked past him you made sure to bump him slightly-shooting him a quick wink then making your way over to Leah.

You walked up to her, a friendly smile on your face. “Hey are you Leah?” she looked over at you, a confused look on your face, her friends also taking time to look at you, one of them taking time to rake his eyes over your figure. You tried your best to ignore him, focusing on the girl looking at you.

“Uh yeah, who exactly are you?” “Oh, my bad, I’m y/n, I live on the island, but my friend Kelce over there-” you pointed at him, she turned back then focused her gaze on you, a small smile and blush on her face “yeah he said that he recognized you, he was just kind of nervous to come talk to you, said he didn’t want to embarrass himself if he had the wrong girl” she let out a small aw and nodded her head. “Yeah I’m Leah, I remember him, he looks great still wow, could you possibly give him my number?” she pulled her phone out and you nodded, taking yours out of the side of your dress. You took down her number and smiled.

When you started walking back towards the guys you felt someone grab your arm slightly, making you turn around, looking at the guy that was with Leah’s friends. You furrowed your brows at him. “Is there something I can do for you?” he smirked and you tried not to grimace. “Yeah actually, can I get your name and number” you laughed “That’s a negative, I have a boyfriend” “Really because I don’t see anyone” his grip on your arm tightened and you ripped your arm away from him. “I certainly have a boyfriend, and even if I didn’t I wouldn’t want you.” he scoffed.

When you felt an arm around your waist with a familiar grip you smiled and let out a breath of air. “Do we have a problem here?” “who are you supposed to be?” “This is my boyfriend Topper, Topper meet random dude on the beach, random dude on the beach meet Topper. Great you’re acquainted lets go” you placed a hand on toppers chest, shoving him back and turning around, knowing he would follow behind you-probably pouting.

“Kelcie, i got you her number, you better text her, and I expect to go for ice cream this week sometime.” he nodded thanking you and immediately texting her, seeing her look down at her phone then smile and look back up, eyes finding Kelce.

Topper laughed at his friend, clearly strung over the touron. But he couldn’t talk because he’d been whipped his entire life. His eyes landed on your figure next to him, his arm back around you, pulling you closer to him. When Kelce left the two of you for his conquest, you leaned your head on Topper’s shoulder, taking his drink from him, taking a small sip of it. Not wanting to drink too much.

“So boyfriend huh?” “Don’t flatter yourself Thornton” “Damn, guess I shouldn’t call you my girlfriend then huh?” you laughed at him, the title gave you butterflies-but you’d never admit that to him. “Do you wanna go smoke?” “Wow the stoner queen is asking me to smoke with her” you rolled your eyes, shoving him a little bit, turning to face him, arms crossed over your chest. “Yes or no” he shrugged “is sure an option” “that depends can we hotbox your car?” “that also depends, are you gonna help me air it out tomorrow” “only if you help me take my hair down” “what does that entail?” “your entire day to be free” he shrugged “okay”

You grabbed his hand and practically dragged him behind you, a smile spread across your face, and people were still shooting the two of you confused looks. Sarah shot you a wink across the boneyard and you flipped her off, letting out a small laugh.

He unlocked his jeep and you got into the passenger seat, watching him get into the drivers side. When he started the car you furrowed your brows “don’t ask questions, we’re going on an adventure” “does this adventure involve snacks?” “What'd i say about asking questions” you laughed at him and shrugged, taking the joint and the lighter out of your back, lighting up and watching him drive.

“Stop staring at me” “no I think you look hot when you drive” “wow I love the confidence” you rolled your eyes at him. Holding the joint out for him to take, but he just glanced at you, raising a brow, so you decided it was a great idea to lean over and hold it up to his lips. The groan he let out made you laugh, he took a slow inhale, and you laughed.

When you sat down you finally realized where the two of you were, rixton’s cove. You rolled your eyes. “If you wanted to fuck you could’ve just asked” he choked on air and looked at you with wide eyes. “I had a whole intricate star gazing idea set up in my head, and you really just said that” with that he took the joint from you, making you laugh at him. You shrugged at him “I think I’m pretty funny.”

The two of you finished smoking the joint, laughing at each other, and you made a few crude jokes just because you thought his reactions were funny. He got out of the car, and you followed, he helped you climb onto the roof of the car, you laughed when one of his hands was on your ass, when you almost slipped. He threw a few pillows to you then climbed on top of the car, a blanket in hand.

“I got my car washed for this” you laughed at him, lying back, head on the pillows, he joined you and the two of you stared up at the stars. “How’d you know that I like stargazing?” “You always used to talk about astronomy in tenth grade, and I asked Sarah if you were still into it” you smiled, looking at him. Taking time to trace over his features, taking all of him in. But when a breeze hit your legs you groaned, he laughed and threw the blanket over you. “Gee thanks”

“That’s what boyfriends are for” you rolled your eyes “Uh huh” “Don’t worry, I know you like being called my girlfriend” “always with the cockiness, you sure about all that?” “look at the stars and stop asking questions” you laughed at him, focusing your attention on finding the north star, eyes trailing over the constellations in the sky, looking at the variations in star sizes.

Topper took time to admire you under the moonlight, the way the blue hues reflected against your skin, the way you smiled, the twinkle in your eyes. He thought you were beautiful, he loved everything about you-from your attitude problem, to the way you ordered fresh fries every time, to the way you’d furrow your brows when you were confused, he was so in love with you, and it took everything in him to wait to tell you. He didn’t want you to feel like he was rushing you into things.

“Do you ever think about what life’s gonna be like in forty years, when we’re almost sixty. Like I wanna leave the island, and travel the world, then settle down somewhere else, I dunno raise my family there and come back to the island when I retire. Just so I can come full circle and say I got the opportunity to see the world for what it is, and experience it’s beauty”

He wanted to tell you that he’d travel the world with you, that he’d follow you to the ends of the earth if you wanted him to.

“I dunno, I just hope wherever I end up, it’s with the love of my life, and as corny as it sounds we have a family, and I dunno we’re just happy” you smiled at his answer. It wasn’t something you’d expect Topper to say, but you were glad he said it, Topper was so much more than people thought of him and you loved that about him.

The two of you laid there, looking at the Stars for almost two hours, but when your stomach growled you couldn’t stop the laugh that left your mouth, the two of you getting everything together and getting back inside of the car, driving to the mcdonalds near figure eight. You laughed when he ordered your fries fresh.

“Y’know two weeks ago we were in this exact spot” he nodded “and you were convinced you didn’t date white boys” “there you are again being cocky, I should steal your spark plugs” he furrowed his brows “what do you know about spark plugs?” “I associate with JJ Maybank, I know a lot about a lot of stealable car parts” he laughed at you, wanting to make a comment about the pogues, but he knew you’d probably hit him.

When he kept staring at you, you threw a fry at him. “What?” “nothing” “obviously it’s not nothing” he shrugged “nah it’s nothing” “uh huh, okay Top” with that he pulled off, mindlessly driving, when the two of you ended up at his house you raised a brow “once again, if you wanna fuck all you have to do is ask” “always with the jokes” “I’m telling you, I’m hilarious, your sense of humor isn’t advanced enough for me” you shot him a wink before getting out, making sure to grab your bag.

You followed him inside the house, not really caring that you were there, his parents were never home, and you had nothing else to do.

“Ooo I want a house tour” “this isn’t HGTV y/n” “okay but I still want a house tour” “you’ve been here before” “It doesn’t count if it was a party and I was drunk” he rolled his eyes, giving into your request.

You walked around his house, taking time to admire the art pieces his parents had throughout the house. He had the same monotonous tone, making you roll your eyes. “Is there anything about this house that you don’t find boring” he shrugged “I mean my rooms cool I guess, I dunno” “okay so show me that then, because hearing you say ‘uh here’s this, here’s that’ isn’t very entertaining. You’d make a horrible realtor.

You followed him up the stairs, eyes still scanning over the paintings along the walls-his parents might’ve been hard asses, but they had great taste in art.

When you walked into his room you were engulfed in his scent. You took a moment to smile, eyes scanning his space, it was neater than you expected, the occasional shirt on the floor, but nothing that disgusted you, actually his room felt calm. You walked towards his shelf of trophies and medals, some from lacrosse, some from surfing. Your eyes trailing all of them, then you looked at the few pictures he had in the room. Settling in front of his dresser, seeing a frame on the wall, holding a picture of him, kelce, and Rafe at Rafe’s first college game.

“Your space says a lot about you” “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” You turned around to face him, he was leaning against his desk, looking at you. “It’s a good thing” “If I asked you something would you punch me in the face?” “it depends on what you’re asking?” he bit his lip, eyes trailing your figure.

“Am I wrong for wanting to show you how much you mean to me right now?” your eyes widened slightly at the shift in his tone. He walked towards you, his hand caressing your face. You bit your lip looking at him. “Please tell me I’m not crazy for falling for you” “you’re not crazy Top, and I don’t wanna keep pretending” he closed the gap between your faces, this kiss was similar to the country club and the roof.

It was heated and passionate. There wasn’t a fight for dominance, he’d easily won that. You smiled into the kiss, pulling his bottom lip between your teeth, he moaned at the sensation. While the kiss was heated you were still trying to be gentle, knowing that his lip still had the cut on the edge of it. Your hand went to his hair, tugging on it, while your other hand gripped his shirt.

His hand shifted from your face to your throat, you moaned at the sensation, and his other hand was on your waist, pulling you closer to him. He groaned at the feeling of you tugging on his hair, his grip on your throat tightening slightly. He started trailing kisses down your jaw, moving his hand from your throat to your waist-his other hand going to your ass, giving it a rough smack then squeezing it. His lips on your neck making you whimper, he was nipping and sucking on your sweet spots, his other hand massaging your ass.

The combination of the sensations bringing a warmth to your core, you moaned his name and felt him smirk against your skin. His lips made their way to your collarbones, then across your shoulders, his hands shifting your dress up, exposing more of yourself to him. Before you fully processed what was going on he had you pushed against the dresser, his fingers brushing over your thighs.

“Don’t tease me Top” your voice was strained, your arousal was your main focus right now, wanting him to touch you-to make you his. He smiled, looking at you, shifting the dress off of you-throwing it across the room. He took a step back, looking at you, taking all of you in. The only thing left on your body was your white lace thong. His eyes trailed your entire figure.

“God you’re beautiful” “what’d I say about flattery” he licked his lips, a small smile on his face, you watched him take his shirt off, then lean back towards you, lips back on your shoulders, trailing down your body, making sure to take the time to caress your breasts, teasing your nipples, and rolling them between his teeth. You moaned at the sensation, but once you realized he was still trailing kisses down your body you felt yourself blush.

The sight of him on his knees in front of you drove you crazy. He spread your legs, licking a stripe up your clothed center, you moaned, hands gripping his hair. “Please-” “Be patient princess” “I’ve never really don-oh fuck” he shifted your panties to the side, tongue immediately finding your clit, you moaned at the feeling of his tongue around your clit, swirling, flicking, and sucking the bundle of nerves. Your grip on his hair tightened, his hands gripping the backs of your thighs.

“Topper-oh my god-Topper” he smirked at the sound of you moaning his name, your head rolled back slightly when his tongue made its way into your entrance, his tongue darting in and out of you at a rapid pace, your moans picking up and your back slightly arching.

The sounds of you moaning made his heart race, the thought that he was the first guy to take his time with you, tasting you-it made him want to devour you. He groaned at the taste of your juices, he knew you were close, the grip on his hair and the way your breathing picked up all let him know. He kept his pace up, listening to you moan his name while you went over the edge, lapping up all of your release.

When he shifted his tongue back to your clit you whimpered, he loved the way you tasted, and if it was up to him, he’d spend hours with his mouth between your thighs, eating your pussy, making you cum over and over again. “Shitt” your words dragged while you moaned, his grip on your thighs tightening, holding you in place, he looked up at you, the sight of your chest rapidly rising and falling, your mouth hung open, and your head tilted back slightly made him smile. His tongue keeping a steady pace against your sensitive bundle.

“I’m gonna cum again-fuck” you moved one of your hands, gripping the edge of the dresser, feeling him bring you into another orgasm.

When he stood up and looked at you, you bit your lip, eyes slightly hooded, trailing over his face, taking note of the wetness on his lips and down his chin. Your eyes trailed down his chest, then to the tent in his shorts. You smiled, a wave of confidence flushing over you-leading you to push him towards his bed, pushing him back onto it.

He furrowed his brows, leaning against his headboard, looking at you. When you straddled him he groaned at the pressure against his member. Your lips left marks along his neck, trailing them down his chest, shifting so you were sat between his legs, pulling the band of his boxers, lightly popping them against his skin.

“You don’t have to-” “Topper if I didn’t want to, then you’d probably be buried in me by now” The flush in his face was very noticeable and it made you laugh. You pulled his shorts and boxers off of him-with his help of course. You bit your lip at the sight of his member. It was a little bigger than the average length, but it was thick, the tip was red leaking precum, it was veiny, and it made your mouth water.

You took time to put your hair in a low ponytail, pushing it out of your way, then leaned down, placing a light kiss on the tip. He bit his lip at the sight of you, when he watched you lick the underside of his cock, trailing your tongue over one of the more prominent veins he moaned. You took your time to tease him, licking his shaft, trailing the veins with your tongue before swirling your tongue around the tip, then taking it into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and sucking on it.

His hands gripped the sheets, he knew better than to touch your hair, and he needed something to hold onto. You wanted to laugh at him, noticing his grip on the sheets, but you focused your attention on his cock, using one of your hands to pump the shaft while you sucked on the tip. His moans were loud and the sounds went straight to your core. You moved your head back, spitting on him, then pumping his member, running your thumb over his tip.

When you finally took him back into your mouth you took him in, inch by inch until he was down your throat and your eyes slightly burned. You started bobbing your head up and down-every time you’d bring him back into your mouth you took him down your throat, making sure to moan around him.

The sight of you looking at him, holding eye contact, while you sucked him off almost made him cum, so he gently pushed you off of him, you wiped the spit on your chin off with your thumb, he moved forward, grabbing your waist and somehow managing to pin you underneath him.

You felt his hand trail your body, fingers pushing your panties to the side, two of them sliding into you-making you moan, his fingers curling perfectly, hitting that spot inside of you, you whimpered at the sensation. But when you were about to release he removed them, holding them up to your lips. You gladly opened your mouth, tasting yourself on him, making sure to moan at the taste.

He lined himself up with your entrance, looking at you, watching you smile and nod, before sinking into you. Your hands gripped his back, feeling him fill you. You felt all of him, every inch and every vein. When he started moving he kept a slow pace, listening to your whimpers, looking at you, biting your lip, head rolled back, eyes hooded. “Faster-please” he bit his lip, picking up his pace, shifting his weight onto one of his forearms, his other hand wrapping around your neck-bringing another whimper out of you.

Before you knew it he was pounding into you, hand gripping your neck, the only sounds in the room were the mixture of both of your moans, skin slapping, and your wetness against his member.

“Who’s pussy is this” you whimpered in response “Words princess” “Yours” your voice was low “Hmm” “F-fuck Top, its yours-shitt my pussys yours-only yours” he smirked down at you, his hips moving faster against yours.

At the feeling of you clenching around his member he moaned your name, kissing you, swallowing your moans. Fucking you through your orgasm, but when you thought you would be coming down, his hips moved faster-and harder. Practically snapping into yours.

Your nails scratched his back, you were a moaning mess under him, the overstimulation was driving you mad, but you loved every second of it. He moved his head, leaning into the crook of your neck, moaning into your ear.

“Pleasee-Topper” you were practically begging to cum again. You need the release. Your legs wrapping around his waist, toes curling, and your words were practically incoherent.

“Yeaa-right there-Topper oh fuck Topper” your words had a slight slur while you moaned, finally getting the release you begged for.

You felt his grip on your throat tighten “cum in me” with that he moaned your name and you felt him coat your walls. When he pulled out he sat up, looking at you, fucked out, chest rising and falling while you tried to regain some of your composure, eyes raking over your entire body, stopping to see his release leaking out of you, and the white lace still covering part of you.

“Holy shit” you looked at him, realizing he was looking at your center-in most cases you’d feel insecure-but something in you made you spread your legs, giving him a better view of it all. When one of his fingers slid into you the moan you let out was enough to make him want to fuck you again, but he knew you needed a break. However, he slipped a second finger back into you, keeping a slow pace.

“Topper-fuck” he slid them out of you, bringing them back up to your lips, you brought them into your mouth, making sure to get everything off of them, moaning at the taste. When he removed his fingers you sat up slightly.

“You’re a kinky piece of shit y’know that” he shrugged “You haven't even seen the half of it-you will one day though” your eyes widened at his statement. “What” “I didn’t stutter baby-” he laid down next to you, you looked at him, still sitting up, which made him roll his eyes, grabbing your waist and pulling you into him.

“So you’re a cuddler too” “don’t act like you don’t like it” you laughed at his sassy tone and smiled, feeling him nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck while pulling a sheet on top of the both of you. “You smell great” “I smell like sex and you” “exactly” you rolled your eyes.

“Have you always been such a softie?” “for you-yes” you smiled knowing he was telling the truth, it was nice, nice to finally be in his arms, and to be with him.

“For the record I’m telling everyone you’re my girlfriend” “I mean you just fucked me into your mattress and came in me, so I guess it’s cool” “wow way to ruin a moment” “I add the comedic relief into this relationship” “so it is a relationship” “I don’t let guys that aren't my boyfriend cum in me” “can you try to be a little more sappy” you laughed at him “if it helps, you’re the only guy that’s ever came in me-and took the time to eat me out” “gee whiz, don’t I feel special” “i sure as hell do”

The two of you laid together, laughing at one another, making jokes-well it was mostly you making crude jokes-but for the record he did laugh at them, and enjoying the closeness of each other. When the both of you started to fall asleep you shifted, laying your head on his chest.

“Topper” “mhm?” “For the record, I’m happy to be your girlfriend-and I’m telling everyone you’re my idiot boyfriend” he let out a small laugh.

“I’m glad to be your boyfriend princess”

--Taglist--

@socialwriter @p0gue420 @stfukie @pit-zuh @rae131415 @wtfstarkey @starkeymarkey @drewstarkeyobx @ilovejjmaybank @outrbank @angvelics @yourlocalauthor @letsgofullkook @queenk00k @kook-kid @jjmbanks @jjmaybcnks @jjsmentalpolaroids @softstarkey @downbytheouterbanks @drewsephsmiles @kiarasgold @ptersparkers @butgilinsky ky @iamaunicorn4704 @copper-boom

#topper #topper thornton #topper thornton obc #topper thornton obx #topper thornton outer banks #topper thornton imagine #topper thornton x reader #topper thornton x y/n #topper thornton fluff #topper thornton smut

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iacon-stargazer · 3 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stolen from @oneshallfall like.... months ago. im a slow gremlin hjksd. it's been in my drafts and i finally decided to finish the last few sections while working on clearing them out

tagging: steal it

MY MUSE IS. canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? Well.../ NO / IDK. (i know optimus is but i don’t really... know about orion? i have seen a handful of fanartists who turn him into a very sexualized moe baby but i’m not sure about the fandom at large)

is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

are they underrated? YES / NO. (lmao there’s like no fan content with him unless it’s with megatronus)

were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.

were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (not yet.... lol)

how’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

This... this is a trick question in this goddamn mess of a continuity. That said, I try my absolute best to make my portrayal coherent with the TFP show... even if said show contradicts itself at times. I take inspiration from the earlier parts (the thirteen primes section) of the Covenant of Primus for his origin backstory, but ignore the rest of the Covenant since it makes absolutely no sense with his characterization in... literally anything else. I’ve peeked at Exodus and it utterly sucks, but I’ve picked up bits and pieces of concepts that originated there just from spending time in the fandom. Aside from that... I spend a ton of time thinking about how to weave everything together in a way that both makes sense and makes for a character development arc.

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.)

Orion is genuinely kind, thoughtful, and introspective, very loving of the world around him.

He’s also a more complex character than is initially obvious - despite mostly being good sweet pure baby nerd he’s still flawed, with many of those flaws being his strengths put into the wrong situation. His strong morals can lead to dogmatism, and he’s only slightly less likely to deliver lectures than Optimus. His determination to be kind and help everyone can come off as unintentionally patronizing at times; he has a very “well-intentioned semi-privileged middle class” perspective that he’s not always self-aware of. However, he’s also willing to look at himself critically and learn/adapt.

Essentially, he has many of the same traits as Optimus... just more or less apparent and/or developed. He's less confident than he eventually becomes through his future experience with leadership, wanting to change the world for the better but sometimes struggling to ground his plans in reality—something that continues to apply, but with reduced intensity and frequency over time. Idealistic cinnamon roll will eventually develop some realism, though never really quite enough. His selflessness remains a strength for now, but we know that eventually it will dip into martyristic tendencies.

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

He could be potentially ‘boring’ in some senses. he’s the polite, considerate ‘next door’ type, who has for most of his life has just lived as a very average middle caste nobody. He’s more laid-back than he eventually becomes as optimus, but where others might get into trouble and shenanigans he’s most likely to just express concern. And since I try to keep him at least mostly ic, even with non-serious posts, this can derail ‘fun’ stuff and I fear dissuade some interaction.

While I try my best to give him realistic flaws that work with his character, he could still be seen as a little too good. very kind, understanding, forgiving, patient, considerate... almost endlessly so. A lot of my “he’s so good and pure” interpretation comes from using his having been the thirteenth prime as backstory, where he was pretty much the epitome of that, but some might not like the “he was a literal deity in a past life” idea for its “super special chosen one protagonist” elements.

His responsiveness to his environment can also be a downside. He’s not the type to start things; he just reacts and responds, standing his ground and finding himself when things get crazy around him. without megatronus, he may have eventually attempted political campaigning, but it wouldn’t have gotten very far. He needs to have more intense characters or events around him for major plots to really go places. Without those nothing would ever happen besides slice of life fluff, because he’s content with that kind of life.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?

Honestly I just wanted to write op/ratch fhsjkdjsdh. But I also wanted to be able to interact with a variety of muses and so I chose Orion over Optimus because he’s not so emotionally closed off, which I figured would give more flexibility beyond the handful of characters op would reasonably have close personal and/or plot-important relationships with. Also, I can relate to him on a thought-process level which lets me get into his head easily, which additionally made him an appealing choice for my first real rp muse.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?

I just love him so much, especially with the layers of his character I've built up around him. I don't always have inspiration to write or rp, but I think about him a lot. When I do find motivation to write, it's generally out of wanting to continue to work on developing him and just having a chance to express his characterization.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. (i should do it more...)

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.

are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. (at least most days fhsdhfskj)

are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. (it waxes and wanes. I know I'm a good writer but I could still be better...)

are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

I’ll be honest; I’ve never gotten criticism. I haven’t been here very long in comparison to some and I’ve never been that popular, so I figure I’m pretty easy to just ignore. I guess how I would feel about it would depend on what it was and how it was delivered, though I like to think I would be reasonable regardless

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?

yes? yes absolutely?

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

I would be curious to hear their reasoning, but I think enough about how everything fits together that chances are I would agree to disagree

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

Depends on if their disagreement makes sense. Maybe I’ll give back my own reasoning for why I characterize the way I do. Maybe I’ll just agree to disagree, if their view is just totally different from mine. If they have valid points I’ll probably overthink it and spiral into self doubt. In all cases I’ll spill my thoughts to friends on discord.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

......Orion in general or? ... fhsjkdhf...... Well if it was mine specifically that might hurt lol. But at the same time.... I doubt i’d agree with their takes either so... fair enough.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?

Sure. I’m good at grammar so if something glaring is there it’s probably a typo I missed and I’ll be grateful for the chance to edit it out before more people see it lol

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?

Yeah. I’m pretty quiet most of the time because I just don’t have energy to talk to a lot of people, and I never want to get caught in drama. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in a situation like that. I tend to avoid conflict, I’m quick to apologize, and polite with anyone I don’t know very well.

#;the art student behind the muse {ooc}#;as for myself... {tag game}

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rocketcowboyblu · 3 years

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Hi! Hello it’s me again (PArdon me lmao)

Since I posted about the Lion king idea of presenting finn, Thought why not give an idea of the entire movie if yall wanna idk write it? Cause I cant write at all. Ignore the spelling and grammar errors Im trying my best. ANYWAY uh have fun reading this mess of an R.D? (Rough Draft)

Alright, its like 10 years or so after the prime invasion. The BFF Squad finished restoring magic to the universe and found out where Adora and Catra hail from, (Magicat hidden kingdom on ethiera, and adora on eternia etc.) Catra finds out shes magically pregnant and tells adora, adora is like “Holy shit were gonna be moms” SO like the dummy she is goes to glimmer and asks her permission to present her when the kit’s born. (cause its presumably from magicat culture idk u decide) Glimmer agrees and puts it on her to do lists cause yknow queen shit.

Months later, Finns Born. Swift wind like the annoying loyal steed he is, goes to inform the other princesses of the presentation. (Insert the Circle of life Music)

The princesses show up along with a bunch of other people cause It’s She-ra’s Heir/Kid. Anyway magicat queen comes and takes Finn and goes to present them (the balcony idk what part of brightmoon looks safe!?) presume the thrusting of them over a balcony.

Scorpia and Bow are holding each other crying over how cute finn is, Catra and adora are looking at finn feeling so proud and shit, Glimmer is just holding her head staring at these idiots wondering why she even let them live there.

ALRIGHT HERE COMES THE INSANITY.

Behind the scenes, Catra had been helping glimmer with advising and taking over the actual royal advisors job. The R.A aint happy that her job is being taken by a war criminal and fraternizing with Etheria’s Hero. SO With some rogue clones they build a plan to get rid of finn and catra.

FLASH FORWARD 7 TO 9 YEARS LATER.

Finn’s growing up and needs to learn the difference between play and work, the advisor tells finn that and suggests�� adora help them out. so Adora takes Finn out to the whispering woods to teach them about self defense and magic bonding with the planet.

DT strolls up cause their now Brightmoons babysitter (Much to their Utter Delight) and tells adora that theres some trouble in the LightZone (Frightzone) about clones. Finn wants to come but adora says no cause its dangerous, So DT offers to take finn cause they were gonna round up the Runestone kiddos for a playdate.

DT and Finn pick up the kids and they get into trouble. Finn has a whole inner monologue about cant wait to be a Hero or something to make adora let them come with em. Cue the Ditching of DT and the Runestone Kids find themselves lost in the whispering woods.

Rogue Clones find them and give chase with laser blasters. Catra finds DT tied up and explains the kids tricked DT and they hear laser fire. So they go and save the kids.

NOW catra’s a lil pissed and impressed cause Finn manged to trick DT but also left their sights. Catra gives a speech about how much trouble finns in but also quite impressed with their work and tells them that, they’ll show them how to really trick somebody (aka pranks)

Later that night the advisor and the rogue clones finally finish the plan to get rid of catra and finn.

A WEEK LATER. Spoiler alert its finn Bday (Oh god here comes the angst)

The R.A suggests a Royal family picnic. Glimmer, Micah, Bow, Glimbow kid, catra, adora, and finn go to the whispering woods cause theres a nice clearing the advisor has “Suggested.”

a mile or so away rogue clones had been herding up the wild beasts of the woods. (Yknow those hog creatures)

Catra and adora actually have a gift for finn but want it to be a suprise so they ask the advisor what to do, Advisor tells them that theyll take finn to a spot near the picnic and they can give them the gift there.

Advisor puts finn in a spot and then signals the clones.

The ground shakes, the trees start moving, BAM OUT comes running thousands of magic hogs. RUN

Finns on all fours running for their life, their panting and see a spot which they presume will keep them safe. It’s not safe at all.

Finn bolts into a canyon, and sees a high top rock that SURE LOOKS STABLE. They climb up it.

Back at the picnic advisor runs back to the crew, and tells them what happened, Catra goes haywire and starts bolting towards the canyon, Adora tells bow and glimmer to get help and grab the advisor and head towards finn.

Catra reaches the canyon first, she spots finn on the rock, Jumping down she goes running along in the herd til grabbing finn, Adora and the advisor are watching from the top, Catra is carrying finn and puts them on a platform of the canyon. Catra gets impaled by a running hogs horn, She goes down into the herd.

“CATRAAA!” Adora cries and jumps down into the herd as She-ra to save catra. Finn looks on in horror trying to spot adora and catra. Boom out jumps adora going up the slide, struggling to carry catras limp body.

Finn goes to climb their way out of the canyon.

Adora is holding catra tightly and is still climbing til she sees the Advisor looking down on them. “Here! Grab onto catra!” The advisor smiles sinisterly. “I’m Afraid I can’t do that adora..” Adora looks at them in confusion. “Goodbye my oldest enemy” The advisors eyes flash green. Adora’s eyes go wide. BAM a burst of magic hits adora causing her to fall with catra.

Finn screams in the distant.

The herd leaves. Its quiet. dust is still kicked up.

Finn looks at their parents bodies on the ground. Limp.

“M-mom’s?” They called out. Knees buckling they go to catra shaking her “Please you gotta get up...”

“What have you done...” The advisor voice tells them.

Finn looks them at in fear “I didn-” “Insolent child! Look at what have you done! You’ve robbed etheria of their greatest heros!” Finns ears fold back, tears flooding their face.

“Get out of here. If you ever show your face here again I’ll have the palace guards kill you” a bright ball of magic formed in the advisors hand.

Finn bolts. the advisor chuckles darkly, for it was only the beginning of a new era.

Bow and glimmer teleport to area. they spot their friends.

Glimmer shakes catra “Horde scum DONT YOU DARE-” Catra bolts up gasping and then groans in pain “well.. there goes one of my 9 lives.” catra looks around and sees adora. And now shes screaming at glimmer to heal her.

The advisor looks ready to run. Glimmer heals adora and adora stirs going “W-what happened?” catra fills her in (catra doesnt know about the advisor she was unconsious.) And they cant find finn. so now its depresso expresso time cause adora cant remeber what happened and where finn is.

LOL IHATE WRITING THIS ALREADY.

Alrighty alrighty. So finn gets lost in the crimson and find Lonnie and the horde kids. (they dont know its catra or adoras kid cause they burnt that bridge) they adopt em for protection and help with digging in the crimson waste mines for gems and whatever else. And finn dyes their hair blond and shaves it to hide their idenity in fear of the advisor.

8 or so years past. Finns like 17 and the horde kids r old LOL

Scorfumas kid stumbles upon finn and they go into conversation about what the hell happened. Finn tells em about how they killed their parents and how they werent allowed near brightmoon cause the advisor would kill them. Scorfumas kid then has to explain that the advisor was now running brightmoon into the ground using their grief to an advantage. Btw kyles singing can u feel the love cause he do be misintruptioning shit. fuckin kyle XD (Lonnie is gonna kill this fool)

LATER FINN LOOKS AT THE WOODS AND OUT COMES YA GURL RAZZLE DAZZLE! Madam razz goes into her time loops and yknow the deal, she goes “Catra is that you dearie?” Finns like “YOU KNOW MY MOM?!” anyway razz leads them to the abandoned fort of grayskull yack yack yeack. Razz tells them that evil comes from power, not from heart, remember who you are type of shit.

Finn finally decides to go home.

Back at brightmoon everythings horrible. its the works yknow? DT got stuck in the “Prison” cause of how they were sus of the advisor.

Just gonna shorten it cause this is so LONG. Finn shows up, catradora are in shock. advisor turns out is the leftover of PRIME so then finn and him fight. Finn wins and here comes one of the newest heros to etheria. GG end of AU LOL

Sorry I dont know what I just wrote. but yeah theres the gist of the idea if yall wanna steal and try to write this shitpost? idk lol thanks for coming to this ted talk

#shera #catra #adora #catradora #lion king au #finn #glimmer problems #bow is in the back crying about how cute it is #rough draft #idk i cant write #she ra fandom #she ra season five #she ra fanfic idea

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grelleswife · 4 years

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1, 6, 9, 11, 17 and 49 please

1. Things that inspire you.

Other creators! I can't tell you how many times I've seen art, photos, etc. on Tumblr or elsewhere and gone, "Man, I'd love to write a fic about that!" Anime, movies, manga, and novels that I consume also contribute to the hodgepodge of ideas floating around in my head. Exposing yourself to other people's unique perspectives helps you think outside the box and write stories that you otherwise would never have thought of. 6. How did writing change you?

It's made me a lot happier. Writing is the ultimate escapism because it allows me to create my own little world that exists outside of the chaos around me, and it's an excellent emotional outlet. It's helped me make great friends, which is pretty neat! Writing also deepened my involvement with the Kuro fandom...which led to me meeting my girlfriend. >w< In other words, it's definitely had a positive impact! 9. Do you set yourself deadlines?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Since my school/work life tends to be pretty stressful, and writing is one of my go-tos for relaxation, I try to avoid setting deadlines for my fics. However, my goal is to finish a piece at least a week in advance if I'm writing for a fandom week or zine. 11. Do you listen to music when writing?

Never. I tend to become deeply engaged in music when I listen to it, so it actually distracts me from writing! XD 17. Favorite AU to write?

Any of my AUs with motherloads of fluff that features a happy Grelle >w< 49. Writing advice.

Write the story you want to tell, not the story you think will sell. Even if it's for a rarepair or character that most of the fandom ignores, if you create with passion, some reader out there will love your work.

It's good discipline to write regularly (i.e. 4-5 times a week), but don't beat yourself up if you aren't able to write every day. If you're starting to feel burned out, give yourself permission to take a break and watch a show, listen to a podcast, read a book, or just have a lazy evening fooling around on social media. It's much easier to achieve your personal best if you have an opportunity to recharge.

Read your final draft all the way through at least once before posting it to check for errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation. This usually helps me catch at least a few of the mistakes I missed in the initial writing frenzy.

Use synonyms wisely. A fancier, more obscure word might not necessarily be better if it has the wrong connotations or sounds stilted and awkward. For example, 9.999 times out of 10, blue eyes should be blue eyes, not cerulean orbs. ;)

Know the difference between there, their, and they’re. It’s an important distinction!

Thanks so much for the ask!

#writing asks #my fic #my writing #>w<

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greenwaterskeeter · 4 years

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College Advice

My brother was like, hey if you have any tips… So i wrote this! And then thought, there’s lots of people on tumblr just now going to college too…

Theres nothing in here about covid or making sure you have enough money– because i dont know anything about being a student during covid and i wouldnt give the same advice for getting money to everyone (and i wouldnt always know how anyway). I assume in the advice that the reader has enough money, because my brother does. That makes a big difference! Someone struggling for money wont have the bandwidth or time, probably, to do a lot of the stuff i advise. Edit: ugh i forgot, this is about US schools, specifically liberal arts US schools. Sorry about that!

Also, I didnt feel right taking the affection out of it once i decided to share it publicly. Help yourself! I may not have as direct an interest in your life, but there’s nothing in there i wouldnt wish for anyone going to college right now. (there’s also quite a bit that I think applies to anyone regardless of whether they do college or not).

Hi ******!

College Advice:

Work: No matter how important your work is or how much you have, take at least one day off a week. No schoolwork or working for money or any kind of work at all that day! (if it works better for you to take a half-day here and there instead of the whole day, that will do). More than one day is preferable, but there may come times when you have So Much To DO that sacrificing your free time doesn’t seem so bad and even one day off feels like too much.

I’m sure you’ve had plenty of this already, but people will keep telling you (by things they say and don’t say) that what you accomplish is the most important thing. It is not. What is most important is up to you– but I think it’s being your own authentic self. That’s complicated of course, but it boils down to: you already have everything you need in yourself, and keeping in touch with what you really truly want and love comes before everything.

If you flunk out of school and all your nightmares come true and you still remember who you are, I will consider you to have succeeded. (but if you do forget– and so many things conspire to make you forget!– I will still be proud of you).

GPA: It’s not the same as it was in high school! I won’t get into specific numbers because different schools have different ways of calculating it, and different rates of gpa inflation etc. It’s mostly bullshit. Unfortunately, if you want to go to graduate school, it is bullshit you have to pay attention to, but even then it’s not as all-important as it was in high school. You don’t need a 4.0, not even to become a doctor or a lawyer. A 3.5 or 3.6 is plenty for the highest ambitions, especially given that you’ll be doing extracurriculars.

I would advise keeping half an eye on the numbers, and not straining yourself for even one additional 0.1 above your target, whatever you decide that is. If you decide not to do graduate school, you honestly could get any GPA as long as you don’t end up on academic probation (which i think goes on your permanent record? Or maybe not. I was on academic probation my last semester of senior year and i’m still not clear on whether it’s on the transcript somehow). After college, people only care that you have your bachelor’s, not what your grades were while you got it. They mostly won’t even care what the bachelor’s is in! It’s very strange, after all the work you’ve put in! (many of them only care that you had the money to go to school, very disappointing)

Extracurriculars: I did a lot of different ones, and still don’t feel entirely qualified to advise about them, because I hated most of them. My mistake was doing things I thought I should do instead of what I wanted to do. I think you should do what you want, even if there’s no existing group for the thing you want to do, for a few reasons. 1. You should enjoy yourself! Having fun is a very serious matter! Keeping the joy of living alive in your heart will make living feel worthwhile, of course, but it will also give you courage and the power to stick by your principles and keep pursuing your goals. 2. It doesn’t actually matter to graduate schools WHAT you did for extracurriculars; what they’re looking for is evidence for what kind of person you are, and they judge that that’s shown through HOW you do your extracurriculars (with commitment and integrity etc) rather than which ones you do. (even so, don’t let the “commitment” part keep you stuck in a soul-sucking activity!)

Choices: You’ll be told you’re supposed to choose your major on a certain timeline, do this and that and everything to very specific deadlines, all very proper. Of course, the more deadlines you meet, the easier things are. But on the other hand– human beings are not machines. You’re allowed to change your mind! Even after you were supposed to be sure! It’s much better to listen to your own misgivings and really look at them to figure out what you want as soon as you know they’re there rather than pushing them down in a panic because you’re not supposed to have them. If they’re ignored, they won’t go away, and they’ll eat at you, and one day they’ll ruin things. (this may be what midlife crises are made of).

Friends: I know you have an established way of having friends, very different from mine, and that’s a good thing! I also know a lot of people take going to college as an opportunity to finally allow themselves certain things. There’s all kinds of takes on this, from putting on a poorly-done accent to binge drinking to coming out. It’s much better to stretch your legs this way than otherwise, I think. We need all the autonomy we can get!

My advice here is: trust yourself. Listen to even your very quiet instincts. They’re there for a reason. You may elect to ignore them, but consider them first, and reject them afterwards if you must. The extreme end of this is Having A Bad Feeling. Listening to that has saved me from some sticky situations! A more mild form is the weird feeling of dissonance between you and an old friend. There are many reasons you may feel that, but unfortunately, in college, one of the most common reasons is that you’re becoming different people who aren’t so suited to being friends as your high school selves were. It’s painful! At the same time, it’s okay to love someone and not be together forever– but I suspect you already know that!

The one thing I would absolutely forbid is isolating yourself. It may seem impossible from where you are now, but that’s what I thought at the beginning too. College is a weird place, not exactly school and not exactly work and not exactly home, and it’s too easy to slip into anonymity. Tell your friends how you feel, good or bad! If you feel like you’re imposing on them, impose!! If they love you, they will prefer inconvenience over learning later that you were in pain and said nothing.

How to Learn: It’s true what they say, that teaching is the best way to learn. Your peers may not always welcome this– I was rather disliked in study groups for always explaining the answer, before I reined it in a bit (things were still awkward unfortunately! possibly for other reasons lol). Of course, other people’s jealousy isn’t your responsibility, and you may sow discord with your brilliance with my full blessing. If you’d rather not do that, my advice would be to become a tutor and/or TA in the subject(s) most important to you at your earliest convenience/whenever they allow you to. It really does make you an expert!

Humanities: They’re going to make you read a lot. Excessively, some might say! You’ll learn which readings are actually necessary to pore over, which ones you may skim, and which ones you may skip altogether. Please don’t feel guilty for not always doing all the reading! Almost no one does all of them. I didn’t even do all of them, and I was a stickler for Doing It Right.

Papers: my tricks are the Purdue OWL website (for brushing up on grammar, looking up how to do those goddamn finicky citation styles, seeing examples of finished papers in those styles), outlining, and rest time. Leaving time between drafts of a paper helps a lot! (that being said, I will be very surprised if you make it all the way through college without turning in at least a few first drafts. It’s not the end of the world, and if you’ve got a knack for it, the professors may not even know the difference! Very amusing). Reading through what you’ve written out loud also helps, however silly it may feel. It has to do with how your brain processes information, and hearing what you’ve written is different enough from seeing it that you’ll be more sensitive to errors and weirdnesses.

STEM subjects: For these ones, it’s more important to do all the homework, because they may only give you one problem per concept. Be very literal about how you interpret things, that’s how folks in STEM usually expect you to think. Office hours are gold, if you can get them (and if the professor isn’t an ass). TAs are hit or miss. Readings are usually super important, relatively short, and can be read multiple times for more benefit.

General knowledge: Don’t forget to think critically! You’d think that’s all you’ll be doing, but in fact most professors only want you to regurgitate their own thoughts back to them. Very disappointing. However, that doesn’t have to stop you! You can always think: “Who benefits from this? What voices aren’t I hearing from in this story?” (even in STEM there are stories). “Why is this important?” In general, don’t stop asking questions! This is where I think true intelligence lies.

I’m sure you don’t need ALL of this advice– please don’t think I don’t think you know what you’re doing! I’m being a little over-cautious not because I don’t trust you but because if there’s any chance of my mistakes and accidental successes helping you do better than otherwise, I want to give all of them that opportunity. Kind of a shotgun approach!

All my love,

Autumn!

#by auti #college advice #adulting #i guess? yeah i think this is that #and i'm mostly teasing abt wanting my brother to make ppl jealous #the joke is that he would NEVER #but i realize now it doesnt translate well to a general audience lol

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