Tumgik
#also this interaction is making me increasingly
thesevenofbirds · 2 years
Text
“But… with her many arms, she rips sun from sky and boils all the water.
Misbehaviour.”
44 notes · View notes
britneyshakespeare · 1 year
Text
Yesterday I met this guy at my friend's birthday party, and he was talking at first to my twin sister but then later on I was chatting with him and he said "wait, you look younger than her."
And I was like "wait, do you know how old we are?"
"No."
"How old do you think I am?"
And he paused for a minute. Knowing I have a sister there who is my age which gives him not one but two observations to guess based on.
"18."
And I was AGHAST because I'm 23. I also don't think he could've thought I was a minor because there weren't any there but I did laugh because he still guessed as low as he could reasonably estimate, and I still get mistaken for a teenager all the time.
But then he guessed "how old do you think I am?"
And I was like "oh I really don't know. I don't know. I never know. I have no idea."
"Just guess. Guess something."
"Uh... uh... twenty... eight?"
"WOW. I'm not even old enough DRINK."
He turns 21 next week.
Man idk what to say. We both assumed you were older than me at least.
3 notes · View notes
Note
How can you consider yourself any sort of leftist when you defend AI art bullshit? You literally simp for AI techbros and have the gall to pretend you're against big corporations?? Get fucked
I don't "defend" AI art. I think a particular old post of mine that a lot of people tend to read in bad faith must be making the rounds again lmao.
Took me a good while to reply to this because you know what? I decided to make something positive out of this and use this as an opportunity to outline what I ACTUALLY believe about AI art. If anyone seeing this decides to read it in good or bad faith... Welp, your choice I guess.
I have several criticisms of the way the proliferation of AI art generators and LLMs is making a lot of things worse. Some of these are things I have voiced in the past, some of these are things I haven't until now:
Most image and text AI generators are fine-tuned to produce nothing but the most agreeable, generically pretty content slop, pretty much immediately squandering their potential to be used as genuinely interesting artistic tools with anything to offer in terms of a unique aesthetic experience (AI video still manages to look bizarre and interesting but it's getting there too)
In the entertainment industry and a lot of other fields, AI image generation is getting incorporated into production pipelines in ways that lead to the immiseration of working artists, being used to justify either lower wages or straight-up layoffs, and this is something that needs to be fought against. That's why I unconditionally supported the SAG-AFTRA strikes last year and will unconditionally support any collective action to address AI art as a concrete labor issue
In most fields where it's being integrated, AI art is vastly inferior to human artists in any use case where you need anything other than to make a superficially pretty picture really fast. If you need to do anything like ask for revisions or minor corrections, give very specific descriptions of how objects and people are interacting with each other, or just like. generate several pictures of the same thing and have them stay consistent with each other, you NEED human artists and it's preposterous to think they can be replaced by AI.
There is a lot of art of the internet that consists of the most generically pretty, cookie-cutter anime waifu-adjacent slop that has zero artistic or emotional value to either the people seeing it or the person churning it out, and while this certainly was A Thing before the advent of AI art generators, generative AI has made it extremely easy to become the kind of person who churns it out and floods online art spaces with it.
Similarly, LLMs make it extremely easy to generate massive volumes of texts, pages, articles, listicles and what have you that are generic vapid SEO-friendly pap at best and bizzarre nonsense misinformation at worst, drowning useful information in a sea of vapid noise and rendering internet searches increasingly useless.
The way LLMs are being incorporated into customer service and similar services not only, again, encourages further immiseration of customer service workers, but it's also completely useless for most customers.
A very annoyingly vocal part the population of AI art enthusiasts, fanatics and promoters do tend to talk about it in a way that directly or indirectly demeans the merit and skill of human artists and implies that they think of anyone who sees anything worthwile in the process of creation itself rather than the end product as stupid or deluded.
So you can probably tell by now that I don't hold AI art or writing in very high regard. However (and here's the part that'll get me called an AI techbro, or get people telling me that I'm just jealous of REAL artists because I lack the drive to create art of my own, or whatever else) I do have some criticisms of the way people have been responding to it, and have voiced such criticisms in the past.
I think a lot of the opposition to AI art has critstallized around unexamined gut reactions, whipping up a moral panic, and pressure to outwardly display an acceptable level of disdain for it. And in particular I think this climate has made a lot of people very prone to either uncritically entertain and adopt regressive ideas about Intellectual Propety, OR reveal previously held regressive ideas about Intellectual Property that are now suddenly more socially acceptable to express:
(I wanna preface this section by stating that I'm a staunch intellectual property abolitionist for the same reason I'm a private property abolitionist. If you think the existence of intellectual property is a good thing, a lot of my ideas about a lot of stuff are gonna be unpalatable to you. Not much I can do about it.)
A lot of people are suddenly throwing their support behind any proposal that promises stricter copyright regulations to combat AI art, when a lot of these also have the potential to severely udnermine fair use laws and fuck over a lot of independent artist for the benefit of big companies.
It was very worrying to see a lot of fanfic authors in particular clap for the George R R Martin OpenAI lawsuit because well... a lot of them don't realize that fanfic is a hobby that's in a position that's VERY legally precarious at best, that legally speaking using someone else's characters in your fanfic is a much of a violation of copyright law as stright up stealing entire passages, and that any regulation that can be used against the latter can be extended against the former.
Similarly, a lot of artists were cheering for the lawsuit against AI art models trained to mimic the style of specific artists. Which I agree is an extremely scummy thinbg to do (just like a human artist making a living from ripping off someone else's work is also extremely scummy), but I don't think every scummy act necessarily needs to be punishable by law, and some of them would in fact leave people worse off if they were. All this to say: If you are an artist, and ESPECIALLY a fan artist, trust me. You DON'T wanna live in a world where there's precedent for people's artstyles to be considered intellectual property in any legally enforceable way. I know you wanna hurt AI art people but this is one avenue that's not worth it.
Especially worrying to me as an indie musician has been to see people mention the strict copyright laws of the music industry as a positive thing that they wanna emulate. "this would never happen in the music industry because they value their artists copyright" idk maybe this is a the grass is greener type of situation but I'm telling you, you DON'T wanna live in a world where copyright law in the visual arts world works the way it does in the music industry. It's not worth it.
I've seen at least one person compare AI art model training to music sampling and say "there's a reason why they cracked down on sampling" as if the death of sampling due to stricter copyright laws was a good thing and not literally one of the worst things to happen in the history of music which nearly destroyed several primarily black music genres. Of course this is anecdotal because it's just One Guy I Saw Once, but you can see what I mean about how uncritical support for copyright law as a tool against AI can lead people to adopt increasingly regressive ideas about copyright.
Similarly, I've seen at least one person go "you know what? Collages should be considered art theft too, fuck you" over an argument where someone else compared AI art to collages. Again, same point as above.
Similarly, I take issue with the way a lot of people seem EXTREMELY personally invested in proving AI art is Not Real Art. I not only find this discussion unproductive, but also similarly dangerously prone to validating very reactionary ideas about The Nature Of Art that shouldn't really be entertained. Also it's a discussion rife with intellectual dishonesty and unevenly applied definition as standards.
When a lot of people present the argument of AI art not being art because the definition of art is this and that, they try to pretend that this is the definition of art the've always operated under and believed in, even when a lot of the time it's blatantly obvious that they're constructing their definition on the spot and deliberately trying to do so in such a way that it doesn't include AI art.
They never succeed at it, btw. I've seen several dozen different "AI art isn't art because art is [definition]". I've seen exactly zero of those where trying to seriously apply that definition in any context outside of trying to prove AI art isn't art doesn't end up in it accidentally excluding one or more non-AI artforms, usually reflecting the author's blindspots with regard to the different forms of artistic expression.
(However, this is moot because, again, these are rarely definitions that these people actually believe in or adhere to outside of trying to win "Is AI art real art?" discussions.)
Especially worrying when the definition they construct is built around stuff like Effort or Skill or Dedication or The Divine Human Spirit. You would not be happy about the kinds of art that have traditionally been excluded from Real Art using similar definitions.
Seriously when everyone was celebrating that the Catholic Church came out to say AI art isn't real art and sharing it as if it was validating and not Extremely Worrying that the arguments they'd been using against AI art sounded nearly identical to things TradCaths believe I was like. Well alright :T You can make all the "I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a catholic" legolas and gimli memes you want, but it won't change the fact that the argument being made by the catholic church was a profoundly conservative one and nearly identical to arguments used to dismiss the artistic merit of certain forms of "degenerate" art and everyone was just uncritically sharing it, completely unconcerned with what kind of worldview they were lending validity to by sharing it.
Remember when the discourse about the Gay Sex cats pic was going on? One of the things I remember the most from that time was when someone went "Tell me a definition of art that excludes this picture without also excluding Fountain by Duchamp" and how just. Literally no one was able to do it. A LOT of people tried to argue some variation of "Well, Fountain is art and this image isn't because what turns fountain into art is Intent. Duchamp's choice to show a urinal at an art gallery as if it was art confers it an element of artistic intent that this image lacks" when like. Didn't by that same logic OP's choice to post the image on tumblr as if it was art also confer it artistic intent in the same way? Didn't that argument actually kinda end up accidentally validating the artistic status of every piece of AI art ever posted on social media? That moment it clicked for me that a lot of these definitions require applying certain concepts extremely selectively in order to make sense for the people using them.
A lot of people also try to argue it isn't Real Art based on the fact that most AI art is vapid but like. If being vapid definitionally excludes something from being art you're going to have to exclude a whooole lot of stuff along with it. AI art is vapid. A lot of art is too, I don't think this argument works either.
Like, look, I'm not really invested in trying to argue in favor of The Artistic Merits of AI art but I also find it extremely hard to ignore how trying to categorically define AI art as Not Real Art not only is unproductive but also requires either a) applying certain parts of your definition of art extremely selectively, b) constructing a definition of art so convoluted and full of weird caveats as to be functionally useless, or c) validating extremely reactionary conservative ideas about what Real Art is.
Some stray thoughts that don't fit any of the above sections.
I've occassionally seen people respond to AI art being used for shitposts like "A lot of people have affordable commissions, you could have paid someone like $30 to draw this for you instead of using the plagiarism algorithm and exploiting the work of real artists" and sorry but if you consider paying an artist a rate that amounts to like $5 for several hours of work a LESS exploitative alternative I think you've got something fucked up going on with your priorities.
Also it's kinda funny when people comment on the aforementioned shitposts with some variation of "see, the usage of AI art robs it of all humor because the thing that makes shitposts funny is when you consider the fact that someone would spend so much time and effort in something so stupid" because like. Yeah that is part of the humor SOMETIMES but also people share and laugh at low effort shitposts all the time. Again you're constructing a definition that you don't actually believe in anywhere outside of this type of conversations. Just say you don't like that it's AI art because you think it's morally wrong and stop being disingenuous.
So yeah, this is pretty much everything I believe about the topic.
I don't "defend" AI art, but my opposition to it is firmly rooted in my principles, and that means I refuse to uncritically accept any anti-AI art argument that goes against those same principles.
If you think not accepting and parroting every Anti-AI art argument I encounter because some of them are ideologically rooted in things I disagree with makes me indistinguishable from "AI techbros" you're working under a fucked up dichotomy.
687 notes · View notes
confused-wanderer · 1 year
Text
So- uh.. Batman started journaling days when he adopted Robin because he had no idea how to handle a kid-let alone a murderous one- and was trying to note down important information like what the child likes and doesn’t, what triggers them etc etc.
He also maintains a separate series detailing their interactions with villains and notes on if the child should be allowed near the villain and vice versa along with rules to implement with children and procedures to follow in case of their meeting.
Damian has five volumes written after him, which still continue to this day. Tim’s had fifty, Stephanie’s had twenty, Jason’s had eighty nine. But Dick? Dick has a hundred and twenty, atleast fourth of those written within his first month as robin. Why?
Exhibit 1
Batman: Ivy, listen to me-
Ivy: NO Batman! They’re destroying ecosystems, hunting endangered species, poisoning the rivers and-
Robin!dick *eyes in shock* : Is this true Batman?
Batman: .. yes
Robin!dick: oh..so why aren’t we helping Miss Evie?
Ivy:
Batman:
Batman: uh..because she’s breaking the law
Robin!dick *crossing his arms* : But didn’t you say the system is flawed? And how sometimes matters need to be taken into your own hands?
Batman: Hold on-
Robin!dick: Come to think of it, is what we’re doing legal? You steal police information and beat up thugs. If you’re doing it to save lives, so is she!
Ivy *enjoying watching this stubborn child making batman sweat as he tries to argue and eventually agrees to help Ivy in a better way, giving Dick a flower when he leaves*
Bruce knows that Dick would absolutely not mind sabotaging factories or blowing up shit with a supervillain. All he needs is a good reason.
Exhibit 2
Riddler: Aha! Now.. riddle me this-
Robin!dick: .. Why are you so ugly?
Riddler: ..wha-
Robin!dick: And are you lonely because there are better ways to find friends.
Hours of insulting later
Robin!dick; If you’re so smart, tell me this: What animal roars when threatened, laughs when hungry and burrows underneath for the entire year, very dangerous to humans but a herbivore and tiny?
Riddler:
Riddler: * a few hours later, on his knees after complying with every one of batman’s demands, going hysterical and pulling out his hair while rocking back and forth*
Batman *getting increasingly concerned* Robin tell him
Robin!dick: Nope! *walks away*
Riddler spent fifty days in Arkham. The riddle still haunts him to this day. Dick doesn’t know the answer either.
Exhibit 3
Penguin *appears*
Gremlin Dick who’s been waiting to kick the shit out of someone: GOLLY BATMAN LOOK A PIÑATA!
Batman *running after Dick before he murders Penguin*
This is why none of the villains bat an eye at the bat kids antics anymore. And whatever they do, they thank their lucky stars they’re not as bad as the first one was.
4K notes · View notes
lovingperfectionsblog · 9 months
Text
I'm Not A Spy?
Max Verstappen x Reader
Summary: There’s no way THE Max Verstappen got you flowers, absolutely no way. 
Warnings: Swearing, other than that, just silliness and fluff. 
Word Count: 1616
Authors note: This was literally a dream I had and I was encouraged to write it as a fic by my absolute dream of a friend @0-atmilk-latte so thank you sugar <3 I hope it’s okay. I really want to get back into writing my silly little stories so, let's try to do this. 
______
Enemy territory. 
This is where Max stood currently. Dead center in front of the Mercedes motorhome door, where everyone could see him. 
And every single person to walk through those doors sent him glares that would make sure he knew he was on enemy territory. 
He knew it was risky. Redbull merchandise adoring him. Sticking out like a sore thumb. It was a risk he was willing to take. 
“Horner send you?” Toto stepped through the doors after watching Max stand there for the past hour, “Although, I can't imagine who Horner would be giving those to?” eyes flicking between Max’s face and the bouquet of flowers he was currently white knuckling. 
“No sir, these are for your assistant.” Max tried to sound confident but even he could admit Toto was a terrifying man and this entire situation was feeling far too similar to the idea of trying to get your fathers permission to ask you on a date. 
“From?” Toto knew he was making Max squirm, but the only thing that would bring him more joy was if it were Horner himself standing in front of him instead of Max. 
“From me sir.” Max tried to stop his hands from shaking, the rustling of the leaves and flowers becoming oddly unbearable as he tried to stand his ground in front of your boss. 
“Why?” As much fun as Toto was having, he was also curious. He knew Max had been eyeing you up these past few weeks, paying more attention to you, attempting to talk to you every opportunity he could. He had even caught Max attempting to make small talk with Lewis and George, which he was now assuming was a bid at getting closer to you. At the very least attempt to make everyone around you like him in the meantime. 
“Because I was hoping to ask her to dinner sir.” Toto couldn't hide his surprise at Max’s honesty. Expecting at the very least some work around to that answer after some back and forth. 
God Max irritated him. He had no choice but to add this to the increasingly growing list of things he respected Max for and it infuriated Toto to no end. 
It didn’t mean he couldn't stress Max out in the meantime. 
“Well,” he let out a chuckle, “good luck then son.” 
“Boss, what’s the redbull scum doing on our turf?” George shouted towards Toto as he made his way towards the motorhome. 
Toto didn’t even give Max an opportunity to answer before he was shouting back, “Apparently he’s here to ask my assistant out to dinner.”
“Oh, makes sense why he’s been so nice to me and Lewis these last few weeks.” George made his way up to the entrance, joining his boss and rival, “Is this why you wanted to hang out in Monaco the other day?” 
Toto and George could only laugh at the uncontrollable blush that had made its way across Max’s face at being called out. 
And the situation was only made worse by, “Morning Boss, George,” you eyed the odd one out, cocking an eyebrow up in question, “and Max?” 
“Well then, go ahead,” was all that came from your boss in lieu of a greeting from any of them. 
And suddenly Max felt shy. All that previous bravado had clearly been used up with Toto, leaving none for the actual important interaction. 
He had to do something and soon, because you were standing there staring at him, waiting, for, well, something. 
Next second there was a bouquet thrust in your direction, gripped to near smithereens between Max’s hands. Your eyes darted between the flower and the three men in front of you, one completely avoiding eye contact, the other two doing a poor job to hide their smiles as they watched the interaction between you two. 
“What’s this for?” you refused to take the bundle from Max, unsure of what was happening. 
“You.” It was all Max could get out. 
“From?
“Me?” 
“Why?” 
“Jesus.” 
Toto barked out a laugh at the near identical conversation he and Max had just had. 
The flowers rustled in front of you as you assumed Max shook them for you to take. 
He would never admit that it was his nerves. 
You hesitantly took the flowers, eyeline switching between max and the, admittedly beautiful, bunch of flowers you were now holding. 
There was a long silence as you just stared at the flowers, eyebrows furrowing. Neither Max, Toto nor George fully understood what was going on in your mind. The silence extended so long that even Toto began to feel nervous, so he could only imagine what Max was feeling as he just stared you down just as intensely as you were staring at those flowers.  
Just as Toto reached out to nudge Max in an attempt to get him to say something to you, you began violently shaking the flowers. Petals and leaves began flying everywhere. Whole flowers landed on the floor at your feet. At least one had hit Max in the face. Toto stepped back in fear. Max shielded himself from the onslaught. By the time you were done, all that was left in your hand was one measly flower consisting of maybe four petals and a few leaves. The rest lay at your feet after your massacre. 
All three boys stared on in horror as you stood there breathless. Eyes fixed on Max like he was your prey. 
Everyone could hear the gulp from Max’s throat as he took a single step backwards. 
“You think just because I’m some girl and you’re the Max Verstappen in your fast little redbull you can treat me like some pawn in your weird little game?” you spat the words at him. 
Max desperately looked over to Toto and George for some help, but even they looked too scared to intercede on his behalf. 
“This isn’t some game, I just,” 
“You just what? Thought you could spy on my team?” you didn't even let him finish before throwing out a secondary accusation at him. 
“Spy?” George hadn’t meant to have that come out as loud as it did, but suddenly all attention was on him as he hid slightly behind Toto. 
“Obviously George. He probably put a listening device in the flowers to spy on us.” All three looked at you like you were insane, “Why else would he be giving me flowers?” 
“To ask you on a date.” The silence that followed Toto’s comment was deafening. 
“No.” It was all you could get out. 
“No to the date or no to him giving you flowers for that reason?” Totot was desperately trying to be the voice of reason here. 
“To him giving me flowers?” You’d yet to look at Max since the original accusations. 
“Why would Max be spying on us? Redbull is the fastest team on the grid?” George was emphatically nodding along with what Toto was saying, trying to get you to see that this was completely innocent. 
“I’m not a spy?” Max had finally spoken up, far too alarmed at the accusations beforehand to offer much more than this, beyond thankful to Toto for helping him explain. 
“Then what’s with the flowers?” You were sharp and blunt and Max couldn’t help but fall just that little bit more for you as he watched you defend your team. 
“To ask you on a date.” Max hesitantly pointed at Toto, showing that the original reason that was offered was correct. 
“You want to take me on a date?” Max could only nod, “and these flowers were to ask me on a date?” Another nod, smile growing as he watched your cheeks flush, “in front of my boss?” you side eyed your boss, hoping he’d take the hint to get out of there. 
“In my defense, I didn’t expect him to come talk to me, not stick around” Max’s eyes refused to leave you, a little nervous to at this point. 
“I’m not going anywhere, is it a yes or not?” Totot refused to budge, his massive presence looming over both you and Max as George peaked over his shoulder to continue watching the interaction. 
“Yes,” you watched as Max’s smile grew even wider than before, him already grabbing his phone out of his pocket so you could put your number in it for him, “as long as you promise you aren’t a spy!” you emphasized by shoving his phone, now containing your number, into his chest as a warning. 
“Not a spy. I promise,” Max stuck his pinky out, waiting for you to reciprocate, giving you the most legal of all promises, the pinky promise, “so it’s a date.” 
You nodded as you wrapped your pinky around his own, “A date.” 
After a moment Toto coughed, catching your attention and forcing you to let go of Max and straighten out your attire, “We should go, yes, we have, there’s work, yes, job, okay, bye” and with that, you had disappeared through the Mercedes motorhome doors, soon followed by Toto who clapped a hand against Max’s shoulders, muttering a “well done boy” as he followed you in to begin the day, leaving Max to stare after you as George sidled up next to him. 
The two stood in silence, Max staring at you as Toto clearly teased you about the interaction, and George stared at Max, gearing up to do some teasing of his own. 
“Never thought The Max Verstappen would be into women who scared him” 
“Shit, she’s so scary.” Max nodded along with his own statement before making George choke on his coffee with the next one, “I think I’m going to marry her.” 
2K notes · View notes
mahalkheeta · 6 months
Text
— THROUGH THE PHONE
Tumblr media
genre: smut; heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon
summary: what enha hyung line sends you when they're needy.
warnings: twt nsfw p0rn links, masturbation, cum, cursing.
note: these are all 18+ twitter links so if you're uncomfortable, please don't open them :"D (and !! please let me know if they actually work huhu). also, please, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
Tumblr media
— heeseung sending you a video of him cumming to his fist.
heeseung really can't help himself. when he's needy and you aren't physically there to help him, he turns to his fist and wild imagination. he doesn't take his time, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and ridding himself of his bottoms and undergarments.
it takes less than a minute to get himself fully hard, his mind drifting off to thoughts of your small and warm hands wrapping around his cock. you'll hear him pant into his room, his hand working on his hard shaft relentlessly.
his hips are surprisingly steady, not wanting to shift the camera. he wants to give you the greatest view after all. he wants all completely soaked and needy by the time you come running to him.
it's embarrassing how quickly he feels the pleasure build in his stomach, his breath hitching as his fist instinctively tightens against his cock. airy moans start to leave his already open mouth. you don't even need to his face on camera to pocture what it looks like.
"oh, fuck–" his breath hitches, abdomen tensing as spurts of cum shoot from his tip. his fist slows down, brows furrowing as the bliss sends shudders down his spine. "a-ah, ahh," he continues to moan, knowing how much you love the sounds he makes.
he pants a few times, his head thrown back onto the wall before he eventually comes closer to the camera to stop the video. before he presses the button to stop recording, you hear him breathlessly chuckle. there's a text that follows after the video.
"if you get here in 5 minutes i'll let you lick all this off me and stuff your mouth with more, baby ;)"
— jay sends you videos of him trying to replicate your touch.
when jay is needy, he tries doing whatever he can remember you doing to him. ever since he met you, your touch has been the only thing to get him going. thus, when you're not there, the only thing he can do is copy you.
his palm rumbs up against the head of his cock. his fist is tight, focusing on the tip as his chest heaves up and down with every pant and breathless gasp.
"ah, fuck... sweetheart," jay calls out absentmindedly. he tries biting on his bottom lip, attempting to keep his voice down. if the other members heard this, he wouldn't live it down.
"fuck me," he rasps, his hips canting upwards instinctively to chase the friction of his rough palm. it's a stark contrast to your usually soft hands. the added sensation makes his toes curl and his eyes roll to the back of his skull.
his heavy breaths grow slightly in volume as the coil in his stomach threatens to snap with every movement of his palm against the increasingly sensitive skin beneath his head. he can't even speak as his orgasm hits him like a truck.
as thick ropes of his cum spill from his slit, he accidentally lets out an audible moan. his hips are permanently off of the sheets at this point, giving little thrusts into his still tight fist.
eventually, once the intensity of his orgasm passes, he pants into the room. he doesn't need to send any other message to have you rushing back home, wanting nothing more from him than to fuck you senseless.
— jake sometimes sends you the whiniest jerk off videos ever.
when you're not there to please him, jake gets horribly needy. this man was trying to do some work in the studio when his mind just so casually drifts to you, your touch, and your hands. the moment those pictures come flooding into his brain, his cock starts hardening immediately.
and when jake gets needy, he gets needy. he can't wait until he gets to the dorm. he's too impatient to start walking to the restroom, especially with a raging hard on throbbing in between his thighs. he needs to cum right here, right now.
making sure no one was in the room, he makes quick work of his cock. he fishes it out of his pants, the pre-cum already dripping across his fully hardened length.
his hand coming to fisg his cock already has him gasping into the empty studio. he's so needy that his usually breathless moans turn into full on whimpers.
"shit, angel," jake whimpers, his accent thick through the phone as he continues to fuck his fist onto his leaking cock. the sound alone has you dripping in your panties.
"wish you were here," he whines, throwing his head back against the headrest of the chair. "wish you were the one jerking me off right now... ah!"
his free hand comes to grip the black hoodie he chose to wear, needing something to hround him from the pressure that was steadily, and intensely building in his stomach.
jake does not have the near coherence to speak when he reaches his high. in fact, he's shaking. his entire body trembles as his fist tightens around the base of his cock, unmoving due to the sensitivity coursing through every fiber of his being.
you can clearly see the veins in his other arm as he grips his hoodie. you can see the way his cock shakes in his hold as pearly drops of come spill from his tip.
"god..." he pants, eyes still shut and brows still knitted together. "you gotta get here, baby. need to actually cum to your hand. please."
— sunghoon sends you quiet videos of him cumming to his pretty fingers wrapped around his near perfect cock.
sunghoon's videos focus more on his pretty hands pumping his even prettier cock. it's impossible to not be soaking watching sunghoon jerk off to his wild thoughts of you.
sunghoon is sat against the head rest of his bed, his legs spread to accomodate both his hands. you wishes you were between his legs right now instead. one hand cupped his tight balls as the other furiously pumped his erect cock.
his face isn't seen in the video, and you personally think it's such a shame. hoe you loved to watch his face contort in pure bliss, his jaw dropping and his eyes stating down at his length as his thick brows pull together to form a face of ecstasy and pleasure.
the sounds however, do make up for the lack of his face. although he's more focused on trying to picture your hand instead of his more than anything, you'll hear the airy moans he lets slip, the small groans he simply can't hold back as his fist occasionally focuses on the tip of his shaft.
"ah... aha!" he pants out repeatedly into the empty room. he shifts a bit, angling his hips closer to the camera so you can see just how hard he is.
"this is because of you." sunghoon hisses a bit as he feels his high approaching alarmingly quick. "so fuckin' hard for you... ah, shit."
his words are quickly cut off with a quiet groan as cum starts to leak profusely from his tip. his hand rides him through his high, hushed curses and grunts leaving his already parted mouth.
despite all this however, the man is still hard. not even seconds after the video sends, sunghoon has already added another message to his attachment.
"i'm still hard and it's your fault. come here and fix it."
947 notes · View notes
luckthebard · 3 months
Text
I’m going to preface this by saying that I also got annoyed about a similar phenomenon around my favorite character in C2 (Caleb) so I don’t think this is just an Imogen problem but:
I’m increasingly frustrated with the way a lot of the fandom talks about Imogen and especially how other characters interact with her. There’s a lot of super uncritical “how could you be mean to my poor baby” that crops up even when she might kind of need to hear some hard-to-swallow truths and be questioned.
It ends up creating a fan environment around a character where it seems like some of the most vocal “fans” act like she’s so fragile she needs to be protected from any challenge or hardship or confrontation of her own fears - and what makes this frustrating is that the context of this character is that she’s in a D&D game. Challenge is the thing that will move and progress the character in that medium.
So I’d like to offer an alternative to the framing of that moment with Imogen, Orym, and Laudna I keep seeing. Yes, Orym was blunt, but he wasn’t exactly providing new information, just a reminder of the stakes and their job. “I’m pushing everyone” - I mean, of course! At this stage, why wouldn’t you if people faltered? In contrast I see Laudna’s clinging to soothing and comfort and “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to” to be a depiction of how sometimes that kind of expression of love isn’t actually helpful and merely allows for continued indecision and stagnation. Imogen may end up disagreeing on a course of action with Orym, sure, but trying to stop her from even considering or engaging with alternatives is a smothering affection also borne of fear that doesn’t allow Imogen agency.
The interesting contrast with Caleb is that it was Nott, his ride or die pal, who was often the one pushing and challenging him to grow. And don’t get me wrong, the similar fandom problem I noted at the top with Caleb absolutely targeted Nott and later very strongly Veth for daring to tell him blunt or uncomfortable truths. But Imogen’s ride or die girl isn’t pushing her, she’s doing the opposite and trying to cocoon her. Which I guess the fandom “protect my poor precious fave” impulse agrees with and doesn’t read as its own kind of interpersonal issue.
Imogen does need to be challenged if only so she can decide, truly, what she wants to achieve out of being on Ruidus and how far she’s willing to go. She’s a deeply conflicted character who has a lot of fascinating conflicting agendas she’s struggling with. If she is never pushed or never pushes herself she may not take the time to actually consider where her personal line is. Someone constantly agreeing with and shielding someone can be a problem in its own right.
253 notes · View notes
pinksturniolo · 24 days
Text
If I Can’t Have You, No One Can - Part One
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Matt Sturniolo x Fem Reader
Summary: Matt can’t seem to stand the fact that he can’t have you to himself. He knows it’s wrong to want you. After all, you’ve been dating his best friend for the past few months. But he never claimed to be a good guy. And he’s more than willing to show you just what you’ve been missing.
Content warnings (not in every chapter): smut, oral, fingering, raw sex, cheating, unhealthy relationship, obsession, spanking, use of alcohol
word count: 3,887
written in first person pov
Spring 2023
I never liked L.A. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice city. Besides the cost of living being outrageously expensive, the weather was almost always nice and there were a lot of fun things to do. It’s the people that are insufferable. The increasingly large number of influencers and rude celebrities make me want to move away to a small town where nobody knows me, somewhere with a lot of nature and miles of land between you and your neighbor.
I grew up in Pasadena, moving closer to the city after my parents divorced and my mom switched me to a different high school. After I graduated, I got a job in merchandising downtown working for a clothing brand. It was always my dream to work in fashion and I was lucky to be in a spot I wanted.
Working in the fashion industry and living in L.A., I was bound to end up in the circle of today’s social media stars and to be quite honest, there were only a handful of people I actually liked. One of my coworkers, Jackson, became my best friend and he was very outgoing, always dragging me along to influencer parties and events. He had a lot of connections which were good for work but as far as I was concerned, I tried my best not to get involved with anyone on a personal level.
But life has a funny way of throwing you for a loop. Jackson introduced me to Mark who was also in the same line of work we were in. We instantly clicked, the conversation flowing easily. He was attractive, funny and nice. It didn’t take long before we became exclusive and our friends were over the moon, saying how good of a couple we made.
A few months had passed, and I was content. But there was something missing. He was a good boyfriend and treated me well, but I just didn’t feel… passion. I didn’t feel those fireworks. That heart racing, mind bending, butterfly inducing feelings that were portrayed in every romance movie or book you’ve seen or read.
The only person who ever made me feel like that was Matthew Sturniolo.
Matt and his brothers Chris and Nick happened to be really good friends with Mark, and I was introduced to them once me and him started dating. I found them charming, hilarious and some of the nicest influencers I had met so far. Me, Jackson, and Nick became inseparable, hanging out almost every weekend.
Mine and Matt’s friendship started out innocent. He was a little shy at first, but it didn’t take long for him to open up around me and we found that we had many things in common.
Maybe more than I have with Mark.
The more time I spent around him, the more I liked him. And it was rarely ever one on one interactions. Most of the time, we all hung out in a group setting but I found myself looking to him when something was funny or observing his reaction when we were watching a movie, and hanging on to every word he said when he joined in on conversations.
As much as I tried to deny the fact that I had developed a huge crush, I couldn’t help that my mind was constantly filled with thoughts of him.
Thoughts of his smile, his laugh, his eyes. The way he looked in the mirror when he fixed his hair, the way his pinky lifted from the cup whenever he took a sip of his drink. I found myself wandering how well his lips would fit against mine. How his hands would feel on my body, the sound of his voice panting in my ear if he was on top of me-
It was sinful. I felt horrible and disgusting and I’m sure there was a special place in hell reserved for me.
So, I tried to back off as much as I could. Whenever Mark went to the triplet’s house to hang out like we did almost every week, I made some excuse that I didn’t feel good, or I just wanted some alone time. He was a little concerned at first but then stopped questioning it after a while which I was thankful for.
Matt and Nick constantly blew up my phone, asking why I suddenly stopped coming over and I kept my responses as dry as possible. Even Chris called me a couple times, but I ignored it. I felt bad but I knew it was for the best.
 I wanted to respect Mark because even though it pained me to finally admit to myself that I wasn’t in love with him, I did care for him, and I didn’t want to break up. We had only been dating for a few months so obviously we weren’t that serious yet to consider moving in together or even discuss marriage but that didn’t mean that he deserved for his girlfriend to lust over his best friend.
And then one night, when they were all at Top Golf, Jackson called me. I knew I would never hear the end of it if I ignored his call, so reluctantly, I picked up.
“Y/N! Get your bum ass over here, I’m sick of you avoiding us. You’ve had enough alone time. You need to come back to reality.” He scolded.
“Jackson, I’m not avoiding anyone.”
“You sure about that? Cause I could argue there is a certain someone-“
“Jackson.”
“Y/N. I’m serious. I miss you, everyone misses you.”
“I miss you guys too…”
“Okay, so why can’t you come out?”
“It’s… complicated.” I sighed in frustration, unsure how much longer I could keep dodging the situation without explaining it properly. I had a feeling Jackson knew why. He was my best friend, and best friends always knew.
“Complicated how?” He pressed.
There were a few seconds of silence as I tried to find the right words to say, but I just couldn’t come up with anymore good excuses and I knew I was fucked.
“Well, I’m not hearing any good explanation, so if you’re not at the triplet’s house by the time we get there, I’m literally coming over there and dragging you out of the house myself.”
Click.
Yeah, I was fucked.
I walked up the driveway to the entrance of the house, my heart racing and legs feeling like Jello. I really needed to get my shit together. I hadn’t seen Matt in a while, and I found myself extremely nervous as I entered the front door. I walked up the stairs, seeing everyone at the kitchen table. Everyone except Mark and Matt.
I smiled, setting my purse and keys on the table and greeted everyone.
“Mark said he had to finish up some work at the office. Something about a deadline that was coming up soon.” Jackson said, noticing the curious expression on my face.
“Okay…” I replied. That was weird, he’s usually good at communicating with me and I had assumed he had come back with everyone after Top Golf.
Jackson just shrugged, taking another bite of his chicken finger. Once I saw the familiar styrofoam box with red lettering, my jaw dropped and I put a hand over my heart, acting like I was just utterly betrayed.
“Wow, you guys got Cane’s without me?” I asked.
Chris rolled his eyes while Nick gave me a dirty look. “Excuse me, you haven’t been here in fucking 6 months.” He spoke.
“Don’t be dramatic, Nick. It’s been 3 weeks.” I replied.
“I’ll save you my last piece of toast if you promise to stay and watch a movie tonight?” Nick said, giving me puppy dog eyes.
My heart dropped and I gave him a soft smile. “Maybe.” I replied.
“Don’t get your hopes up, it took some threatening just to get her over here.” Jackson added, glaring at me.
“Whatever, you’ll only be breaking Matt’s heart if you don’t stay.” Chris said, looking at me with an expression I couldn’t read.
“What do you mean?” I asked. Did it really matter to Matt that much whether I was here or not?
Chris started to speak but then Nick stomped on his foot which caused him to hunch over in pain. “What the fuck dude?” Chris said, rubbing his hurt foot.  I raised an eyebrow and looked over at Jackson. What the hell is wrong with them?
He simply shrugged again, a small smirk on his face and went back to eating. His nonchalant attitude was starting to bother me. I was definitely having a talk with him later.
“What he means is… Matt misses you. He said you’ve been ignoring his calls. And don’t get me started on that. You have a lot of making up to do.” Nick said, referring to the fact I’ve been ignoring everyone’s calls.
“I know, I’m sorry… Where is Matt anyways?” I asked, looking around.
“He’s in his room if you wanna go talk to him.” Nick replies, and I get nervous again, butterflies starting to form in my stomach.
I nod and walk away, towards Matt’s room.
I had only been in his room a few times and it was usually with Nick or Jackson, never just me and him. It wasn’t even a big deal but for some reason, the thought of being alone in his room with him scared me.
I knocked on his door softly, waiting for his response. After a few moments of silence, I knocked again, calling his name quietly. “Matt?”
He still didn’t answer. I was about to give up when I heard him respond, “Come in.”
I slowly cracked the door and could see it was dark in his room, the only light coming from the TV. I walked in and saw that he was in his bed, submerged under his comforter, only his head peeking out. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were barely open.
“Oh shit, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” I said and started to move back towards the door.
“No no, its okay. I needed to get up anyway.” He rasped, sleep still thick in his voice.
He sat up slightly, moving the blanket down and I tried not to stare because he didn’t have a shirt on, and I was getting a full view of the tattoos on his arm. Even though he had just woken up, he still looked so handsome.
 He pats the spot on the bed next to him, inviting me to sit down. My heart is still beating faster than usual as I sit on the edge of his bed, making sure there was more than enough space between us.
“All that golfing got you tired?” I ask teasingly, smiling at him. He laughs, a sound that I hadn’t realized I had missed so much.
“To be honest, I’ve been tired all the time lately.” He responds, running a hand through his hair.
“Me too.” I say, looking down to my lap. This small talk was killing me.
“Is that why you’ve been declining my calls? You sleeping too much?” He gets straight to the point, and I can feel his eyes on me.
I laugh nervously, unsure how to tell him the real reason I’ve been avoiding him.
“I’ve just been really busy with work. You know how that goes.” I say, hoping he won’t question me further.
He hums and nods his head, as I finally make eye contact with him. “I don’t really believe you… But that’s fine. I just hope it’s not because I’ve done something wrong.”
“No, of course not. It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong…” I reply, stopping before I say anything I regret. You’re just consuming my every thought and desire.
“So, it is something I’m doing then?” he asks, wanting me to clarify.
My words seem to get stuck in my throat as I look at him, unsure how to even answer that. His eyes are burning into mine, making my heart race faster.
“No.” I simply reply, and he raises his brows at my dry response.
“Yes.” I blurt, and his face is now plastered with confusion and hint of amusement as I get flustered, pinching my nose and closing my eyes in frustration.
“Yes?” He asks.
“No- fuck, I meant-“ I start and Matt interrupts me, a shit eating grin on his face.
“Yes or no, Y/N?” He says, now enjoying the fact I was making a fool of myself.
“No, Matt. It has nothing to do with you, okay?” I say, getting up from his bed. Lies.
“Now can we go watch a movie before Nick starts throwing a fit?”
A couple hours and three bags of popcorn later, we were all sat on the couch as the credits of Edward Scissorhands roll on the screen. I checked my phone and to my surprise, Mark still hasn’t texted or called. I’m sure he’ll just call me in the morning.
Jackson yawns and stretches his arms out in his seat next to me, announcing it’s time for him to go home. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” He says to me, and I nod as he gives his goodbyes to Matt and Nick. Chris passed out halfway through the movie until me and Nick started spraying whipped cream smiley faces on his forehead, annoying him enough to make him storm off to his room.
Once Jackson is gone, Nick scoots next to me and throws his arm on the back of the couch behind me, giving me a suggestive look.
“Sooo… are you gonna spill the tea? What’s up with you and Mark?” He asks, nudging my shoulder.
I furrow my brows in confusion as his question. “What do you mean?”
I can feel Matt staring at me from his spot across the other side of the couch.
“Well, Mark barely even mentioned you tonight and then he randomly left saying he had to finish up some stuff at work. And I’m guessing he didn’t even tell you because you keep checking your phone like you’re waiting for his call.” Nick says.
“Wow, you’re incredibly observant.” I respond and I hear Matt chuckle.
“I know. Also, that would explain why you’ve been MIA the past few weeks. Are you guys gonna break up or something?” He asks.
I shake my head. “No, it’s not that.”
He raises his eyebrows, waiting for me to elaborate.
“But something is going on with you two?” Nick questions.
I hesitate and look at Matt, an unreadable expression on his face. He’s leaning back on the couch with his arms crossed, his legs spread slightly in his sweatpants. “Please stop beating around the bush, Y/N. We just want to make sure you’re okay.” He speaks.
I sigh, throwing my head back and tucking my hair behind my ears. “Okay. Look, we’re not breaking up. But I’ve just felt different recently… like… I don’t know, like I don’t feel the same way about him like when we first met. Maybe we rushed into things too quickly. He has been working a lot lately and I just feel… lonely.” Empty. Bored. Unsatisfied.
Nick hums in understanding, tilting his head. “See, that makes sense. You guys have zero chemistry. At least that’s what I’ve always thought. Right, Matt?” He says, looking to him.
“Zero.” He replies instantly. His eyes have not left me since we started this conversation, and it makes me want to melt into the couch.
Suddenly, Nick gets a face time call and jumps up. “Shit, I have to take this. But we’re not done with this conversation, okay?” He tells me and I smile at him as he walks off upstairs.
I look at Matt, who now stands up and walks over to me, sitting down and putting his arm on the back of the couch, the same spot Nick had it in just moments earlier.
The way they switched places so quickly had my head spinning and the closeness of him next to me made my heart skip a beat.
“You know, you can sleep here if you want. I’m sure Nick won’t mind if you stay in his room.” He said politely. I smile at him, shaking my head. “It’s okay. I prefer my bed much better, no offense.” I reply and he laughs. “I won’t tell Nick you said that.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring your calls Matt… I guess my head’s just been a mess.” I tell him, looking to my lap, playing with a loose string on the rip in my jeans.
“It’s cool. You can talk to me anytime you need to though, you know. About anything.” He says ducking his head to try and make eye contact again. I give in, looking at him and his soft expression tugs at my heart strings like I’m a lovesick puppet.
“Thank you.” I reply. “But I don’t know if you wanna get caught up in that. I’ve been a little… frustrated, to say the least.”
His arm flexes behind me, and I see his jaw clench, a curious look now in his eyes.
“Frustrated?” He says and I realize I might have implied something with that statement.
“Uh, I mean, stressed, you know? Like I have all these pent-up emotions.”
Shit. What the fuck was I saying?
Matt is silent, and the way he’s looking at me has my heart beating a million miles a minute, my palms feeling sweaty and my head spinning.
Finally, he says, “Like you need a release, right?” My eyes are still locked on his, floating in a never-ending pool of icy cold blue that makes me feel warm in the palpable tension now filling the room.
“Mhm.” I say, afraid to speak, because I might continue to say incredibly stupid things I’ll regret.
I feel his hand ghost over the back of my neck, which causes chills to run down my spine.
He tilts his head slightly, his eyes travelling down my face, pausing at my lips. “I could help you with that too. If you asked.” He said quietly, almost whispering and looks me in the eyes again, a playful fire burning there and a sly smirk on his lips.
Before I can even process what he said, the next second, Nick comes bounding down the stairs from his room and Matt removes his arm from behind me, clearing his throat.
I jumped up, causing a weird look from Nick. “I-I need to go home. I forgot I have some things to do.” I blurt, going to grab my purse and keys from the table.
He looks back and forth from me to Matt, one eyebrow raised in confusion. “Okay… I guess I’ll see you later?” He asks and I give him a hug before walking to the front door past Matt, avoiding eye contact with him. “For sure. Later!” I say, trying to rush out the door as fast as I can.
Once I open the door and step out, I hear Matt run to catch up and I turn around while he shuts the door behind him.
“Y/N. Wait.” He says.
“Yes?” I ask, my breath coming out in short puffs.
The cool air of spring is blowing, leaves falling from the trees and flowers starting to bloom in the grass.
Matt looks at me in the same way he has all night and I notice he’s hesitating, his mouth opening but no words coming out.
“What?” I say, wondering what he could’ve possibly followed me out of his house for.
“Tell me you don’t feel what I feel.”
“What?” I say again, sounding like a broken record.
He moves closer to me, his body now a few inches from mine and I see his chest rise and fall quickly, his next words coming out breathlessly.
“Tell me you don’t feel something between us. I need to know the real reason why you’ve been ignoring me.”
My heart is pounding at his boldness, and I clutch to the keys in my hand so hard my skin stings with pain. I was not ready to have this conversation and all I could do is freeze as he waits for my response.
“Y/N, tell me you feel nothing. That I’m just a friend to you and nothing more.” He says softly now, reaching his hand out to brush his fingers against my jaw with the lightest touch.
I want to tell him that yes, you’re just a friend and nothing more. That I don’t have any feelings for you and I don’t think about you every moment I wake up and every moment before I go to sleep. That I feel nothing.
But I just can’t. I can’t say or do anything but stare back at him, my eyes surely saying the complete opposite of what I’m thinking.
He closes the gap between us, now grabbing both sides of my face in his hands, brushing his lips against mine. “Tell me you don’t want me.” He breaths, and my knees feel weak as I clutch onto his shirt. “Matt…” Is all I can manage and I’m not doing a very good job of convincing him that I don’t.
He groans at the needy sound in my voice, and I can’t take the tension anymore as I press my lips to his, kissing him. He instantly kisses me back, his grip tightening on my jaw and I’m not even sure how I’m still standing.
He tilts his head, deepening the kiss, our mouths moving in sync and it’s electric. His lips are so soft but firm in the way he leads, and when his tongue glides against mine, I moan lightly from the feeling. His hands now slip to my waist, mine still on his chest.
The kiss is becoming heated as we pant against each other, his fingertips digging into my hips and pulling me even closer to him. I feel his heart racing, the world slipping away like nothing else matters.
He kissed me like he couldn’t breathe, and I was his oxygen.
I wanted more and more, unsure that I will ever stop before a little voice in my head tells me that this is wrong, wrong, wrong. But it feels so fucking good.
No. This is bad.
“No-“ I say, suddenly pushing him away from me, catching my breath.
I shake my head, backing away from him now. “This is bad.”
His cheeks are tinted pink, lips swollen and red, his hair a mess.
“Y/N.” He says, taking a step towards me.
“I can’t, I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.” I responded, stepping further from him. “I have to go.” And I turn away, practically running to my car and slamming the door, taking off before I can change my mind.
As I drive home, the look on Matt’s face replays in my head, and I touch my lips, the feeling of his kiss still there.  
I’ve never felt this strongly before, and as I drive further and further from him, I feel an invisible string tugging on me, willing me to turn around.
It’s a dangerous game to play, whatever we’ve started.
a/n: matts pov and disgusting smut in part two 😁
feedback and thoughts appreciated 💕
taglist:
@sturniolopepsi @tillies33ssss @whicked-hazlatwhore @riasturns @christhopersturniolo
274 notes · View notes
candyk0rn · 7 months
Note
Hello, I hope you’re having a fantastic day today :) please could I request headcanons of Astarion, Gale and Halsin having a crush on Tav/Reader who is shy and insecure 💙💙
Shy-Bg3
Tumblr media
Hello! Thank you so much for the request, and I hope you’re having a great day too!!
Before reading: Gn!reader, shy + insecure reader, Astarion x reader, Halsin x reader, Gale x reader
Also sorry for the wait, I’ve been increasingly busy!!
Astarion:
Tumblr media
At first, he finds you almost pathetic
Perhaps it’s his way of not seeing himself within you, knowing he used to be just as fearful and timid
He feels a strong duty to protect you the closer you get to him
At first, he uses you as merely a flesh shield lmao
We all know the story, he uses you for protection, although meek you were always considered a stronger type
And his one rule was to not fall for you: that was his number one rule
But of course that all goes to shit pretty quickly
On the topic of insecurities, he knows all too well the feelings you feel
It’s honestly a plus, having someone that just knows
He’s so stupidly in love with you, for a moment he thinks he’s going mad
He’s never met someone as reserved and soft-spoken as you, he thinks it’s great company
After all, opposites attract, right?
Gale:
Tumblr media
Like Astarion, he actually is comforted by your shy and quiet nature
He’d much rather stay home in his tower at Waterdeep, away from society
For that is how he lived for quite some time
I’d say Gale is also rather reserved, only opening up to those he trusts
And it just so happens, he learned to trust you more than anyone
Ever since he told you about the orb that was launched into his chest, the way you insisted upon finding another way to save him
It sent his heart to the skies, I stg
Your shy personality is endearing to him, because if you ever need him to speak up for anything he is so willing
Also, in those moments where you have to interact with someone unknown or unfamiliar, he always offers his hand as comfort
Ugh I love that stupid wizard
Halsin:
Tumblr media
I don’t think anyone will get mad at me if I say out of these three
Halsin is the best in the situation
Halsin is the best in most situations let’s be real
He’s the most calm and soothing when it comes to your personality
If you ever ever need to be taken somewhere else, if you’re ever too nervous to be around people
He simply excuses you and him both from whatever conversation or interaction is going on
Something that seems so difficult for you, is so easy for him
And he gladly does it each time
Halsin has a very keen eye, he knows every move you make, every fight of your fingers, every worried flutter of your eyes
He knows when and where to comfort every time
In terms of your insecurity, he’s also extremely helpful on that
He always knows just what to say
The perfect man fr
Tumblr media
Thank you for reading!
995 notes · View notes
doumadono · 9 months
Note
My sincerest congratulations on your milestone, hon! 🎉🥳 I want to request "Realizing they’re falling in love" with Dabi, Hawks, Shoto and Bakugo, if possible in headcanons format
BNHA boys realizing they’re in love - headcanons
A/N: thank you oh so much, love! Your support means the world to me ♥
MASTERLIST
Tumblr media
Dabi
Dabi's realization that he's falling in love is marked by an internal struggle. He's fiercely independent and has always believed that emotions are a weakness, so acknowledging his feelings is a battle against his own principles.
His attraction is laced with a sense of danger and forbidden allure. Dabi finds himself drawn to your unwavering determination and willingness to stand by his side, even as he remains shrouded in mystery.
As Dabi falls deeper, his rough demeanor occasionally melts away, revealing a more tender side. He may let his guard down when you're alone, sharing stories from his past or allowing a genuine smile to grace his lips, only for it to vanish as quickly as it came.
He often finds himself lost in thought, pondering whether he deserves happiness or if his actions have forever condemned him to a life of darkness.
He starts paying more attention to the details of your interactions, almost obsessively analyzing every word and gesture. Dabi's internal struggle manifests in his occasional distance, as he battles his own inner demons.
While uncertainties may still linger, he's come to realize that the depth of his emotions is a strength, and that love perhaps has the power to reshape not only his destiny, but also his perception of himself.
Hawks
Hawks' realization that he's falling in love comes with a mix of surprise and intrigue. He's used to navigating complex situations, but matters of the heart have always been a bit of a blind spot for him.
His attraction to you is accompanied by a desire to make you smile. Hawks becomes increasingly attuned to your moods and goes out of his way to provide comfort and support, often resorting to his sense of humor to lighten the mood.
He finds himself seeking out your company not only during downtime but also in the midst of his hero duties. Hawks secretly enjoys your conversations and becomes a master at multitasking, balancing his work and his growing affection.
Hawks' love is built on mutual respect and a shared sense of purpose. He's attracted to your determination and your unwavering belief in the importance of heroism, and he finds himself more drawn to you as you work together to make the world a better place.
Despite his easygoing facade, Hawks experiences moments of vulnerability when he's alone with his thoughts. He questions whether he's capable of reciprocating your feelings and worries about the impact his dangerous lifestyle might have on your potential relationship.
Hawks' journey towards embracing his feelings becomes an integral part of his character development. He learns that vulnerability doesn't equate to weakness and that opening his heart might be his most courageous act yet. As he navigates this new territory, Hawks finds himself on a path of self-discovery, growth, and a deeper understanding of what it truly means to be a hero.
Shoto
Shoto's realization that he's falling in love is marked by a quiet and introspective process. He's used to keeping his emotions in check, so acknowledging his feelings takes time and careful contemplation.
His attraction is rooted in a deep admiration for your strength and kindness. Shoto finds himself drawn to your unwavering support, especially during moments when he grapples with his past and the complexities of his family.
He might leave a carefully selected book on your desk or prepare a warm cup of tea after a particularly challenging day, using his own experiences to empathize with your struggles.
He becomes more open about his own emotions as he navigates his feelings for you. Shoto shares his thoughts about his parents and siblings, his struggles with his dual Quirks, and his dreams for the future, creating a deeper level of understanding between you.
Shoto's love is quiet but steadfast. He's willing to stand by your side through thick and thin, offering his unwavering support and stability even as he continues to grapple with his own inner conflicts.
He finds solace in the simple act of holding your hand or sharing a comfortable silence, allowing your presence to be a source of healing and reassurance.
Bakugo
Bakugo's realization that he's falling in love is met with intense frustration. He's not one to easily acknowledge his emotions, and the idea of being vulnerable in this way infuriates him.
His attraction is laced with a mix of admiration and exasperation. Bakugo finds himself drawn to your ability to stand your ground against him, even as he struggles to come to terms with his own feelings.
Bakugo's expressing his affection through action rather than words. He might go out of his way to train with you, pushing both of you to your limits, or subtly lend you a hand when you least expect it.
He starts showing a more protective side, even if he tries to hide it behind his explosive temper. Bakugo's concern for your safety becomes evident when he's more willing to work as a team and takes extra precautions during battles.
Bakugo's love is fiery and intense. He becomes fiercely loyal and is willing to face any challenge head-on to ensure your happiness and well-being.
Despite his gruff exterior, Bakugo experiences moments of inner turmoil. He's torn between his pride and his growing feelings, leading to inner monologues where he wrestles with his own vulnerability. "Damn it, fucking shit, why does this have to happen? Stupid emotions! I don't have time for this crap!"
Bakugo's gradually letting his guard down in your presence. He might crack a rare smile or engage in playful banter, allowing glimpses of his more genuine self to shine through.
Tumblr media
777 notes · View notes
venus-haze · 8 months
Text
Under My Skin (Black Noir x Reader)
Tumblr media
Summary: Just when you think you don’t have a chance with Black Noir, an investor gala gives you a new opportunity to get under his skin.
Note: Gender neutral reader and no descriptors are used. This is based on an anonymous request and also the song I’ve Got You Under My Skin. I’m so glad I’ve finally gotten a chance to write for Black Noir! Pre-season 1 where you’re in The Seven. Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.
Word count: 1.5k
Warnings: None. Do not interact if you’re under 18.
Tumblr media
The piece of paper on the table in front of you was mocking you. Black Noir had already won three out of the four tic-tac-toe matches you were silently engaged in during The Seven’s daily briefing, and with the way things were going, he was poised to win a fifth. With a huff, you drew a hopeless circle and silently slid it back to Noir.
“Nightowl,” Homelander said.
You looked up, bringing your attention to him. 
“Great work on the team-up with Noir the other night.”
Noir slid the paper back to you, his tic-tac-toe win marked with a clean line, but he’d also drawn a smiley face.
You smiled. “Anytime.”
Homelander continued on, and you only half paid attention, your focus increasingly on the man sitting beside you. Even before you joined The Seven, you admired Noir for his stealth and prowess, something you aspired to. Upon your first team-up, it was clear your powers, most effective at night, complimented his incredibly well. Plus, he seemed to like you from the start, which put you in Homelander’s good graces most of the time. 
Absentmindedly, you drew a little heart on the paper, feeling your face heat up when you saw Noir’s head turned toward you. He didn’t acknowledge the drawing, instead beginning a new game of tic-tac-toe. Embarrassment flooded your chest, blood rushing in your ears. You hoped he didn’t think you were being weird.
“Last thing…” Homelander said, reading off the agenda. “Oh yeah, investor gala this weekend.”
“Great, another ass-kissing convention,” Maeve mumbled.
“Can we make sure shrimp cocktail isn’t served this time?” The Deep asked. “I just feel like—“
Homelander’s jaw clenched. “Jesus Christ, do I look like a caterer, Deep? Am I carrying around a silver platter–”
After a few more moments of bickering, Homelander ended the meeting, not without everyone still grumbling under their breath about the gala. No one particularly liked schmoozing over rich assholes, but they made your lucrative paychecks possible, so it was a necessary evil. 
You and Noir hadn’t finished the last round of your game, but when he left, he took the paper with him. 
You sighed. You knew you had it bad for him, but it was tough to gauge his feelings for you when his face was constantly covered by his mask. Even when you blatantly flirted, he seemed unaffected by your advances toward him. Of course you’d fall for this mystery of a man, the epitome of cool, calm, and collected. Your endeavor was starting to feel hopeless.
“So, when are you gonna make a move on Noir?” Homelander asked, walking out of the meeting room with you. “And don’t give me that ‘we just work together’ bullshit. The tension’s so thick I could laser through it.”
“You can laser through anything.”
He rolled his eyes, a slight smile on his face. “Look, there’s only so long I can take the two of you making heart-eyes at each other. I mean, get a room.”
“He makes heart-eyes at me?” you asked softly.
“Yes, so do something about it already.”
“Maybe at the gala. Everyone’s there to see you, anyway.”
“That’s true. No one would really notice if you and Noir weren’t there,” he said, before giving you a slightly painful pat on the shoulder. “Well, except me if you’re loud enough.”
You gave him a pointed look. “Thanks, Homelander.”
You never took his comments like that to heart. You knew you weren’t one of the more interesting members of The Seven, especially compared to the likes of Homelander and Maeve. It was a blessing in disguise, as you ended up stuck doing far less schmoozing than they did. Homelander could hide his disdain for whoever Vought wanted him to entertain for the evening, but on more than one occasion, you’d been on the receiving end of his rant about “pandering to the mud people.”
Noir always showed up to these events, despite not interacting with anyone unless it was to get food. Once in a while, you’d watch as someone tried to start a conversation with him, only to be ignored before awkwardly making an excuse to leave. At least he’d give you the time of day, silently letting you people watch with him, acknowledging your observations about the various guests with a nod, or on rare occasions, his shoulders shaking ever so slightly when you’d said something funny. You always felt especially accomplished then.
The night of the gala was only nerve-wracking because you were finally going to be forward with Noir and see where that got you, rather than your tentative approach in the past. 
When you arrived on the floor where the investor gala was being held, you went through all of the necessary introductions as quickly as you could. Across the room, Black Noir was playing the piano, as he tended to do during crowded events. You’d asked him before where he learned to play, and he wrote simply on a cocktail napkin ‘My grandma.’ As much as he trusted you, there were still parts of himself that were guarded, carefully revealing pieces of his past to you, though you could never fully put the whole picture together. In all the years you were a member of The Seven, you weren’t sure you ever would. 
His past didn’t matter to you. You were fond of the man he was, even if he didn’t reveal his whole self to you. Still, you wished you knew more. He didn’t seem to have any family, at least that he was in contact with. Then again, most of your teammates had complicated relationships with your families, yourself included. That one talent of his, however, showed that at one point there was someone he was close to, that he had a life outside of being a member of The Seven. You hoped the two of you could have that together.
Finally able to slip away from the people whose names you couldn’t be bothered to remember, you made your way over to Noir. He looked up from the piano, tilting his head a bit in acknowledgement of you.
“This party’s so boring.” You made a point to lean against the piano, letting the spandex of your suit highlight your body. “I mean, I can think of much better things you and me could be doing with our time.”
You weren’t sure if he was nodding along with your sentiment or the music. Ever so frustratingly difficult to read. Taking his response in stride, you sat down next to him on the piano bench. He didn’t stop playing, but he didn’t move away from you either. 
“Will you show me how to play?” you asked.
He paused, the soft music stopping momentarily. With a nod, he shifted closer to you, placing his gloved hands over yours. You let him guide you, though your gaze was on him rather than the keys. 
“You’re great with your hands, Noir,” you said. “I mean, playing piano, fighting criminals, I’m sure there’s more you can do, if you ever wanna show me sometime.”
No reaction. Maybe it was useless. Maybe Homelander was just messing with you. Maybe—
He rubbed the top of your hand with his thumb, and you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips. It was something, finally some indication that he returned your affection. 
“You wanna get out of here?” you asked softly. “I only came for you, anyway.”
He took your hand in his, the music from the piano ceasing abruptly again. He brought his pointer finger to his mouth, and you giggled despite his silent instruction to be quiet. 
Glancing around, you noticed everyone else was preoccupied, mainly with competing for Homelander’s attention, as usual. The perfect opportunity for the two of you to slip away from the party with ease. Stealth was his speciality after all. 
You let him lead you away from the gala and to an empty balcony on another floor of the tower. The city seemed to sparkle especially bright that night. Feeling bold, you rested your head on his shoulder, your hand still intertwined with his.
“I wish we could be like this more often,” you whispered. “You’re the only person I like spending so much time with. I think of you, and I—it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just wanted you to know.”
After a few minutes of silence, Noir moved away from you, reaching for something in his pocket. A folded piece of paper, the same one the two of you had been playing tic-tac-toe on just a few days earlier. He handed it to you, and you scanned the page before landing on the heart you’d drawn, finding he’d drawn another one around it.
“This is so high school,” you laughed, nevertheless taking his covered face in your hands and kissing him. “So, what do we do now, loverboy?”
He wrapped his arms around you, and you could’ve sworn you heard him sigh contentedly.
610 notes · View notes
literaila · 8 months
Note
verity what would you think about writing another peter x reader in which peter becomes a photographer and has to take pictures of reader and he develops a thing for her and he thinks that reader just flirts with him for fun and he's totally okay with that because he's a fool for her but after teasing peter and messing with him for a good amount of time she asks him out ? maybe inspired by "suck it and see" by arctic monkeys? thank you !!
chemistry
tasm!peter x fem!reader
a/n: the science jokes are real with this one
Tumblr media
*
peter needed to get over himself. that much was clear.
honestly, he had the ability to rip out his eyes and throw them down the garbage disposal, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that he might have to. just to get some sanity back.
it wasn’t really his fault he was staring at you. no, it wasn’t his fault at all.
he was getting paid to stare at you. you had hired him to do this. to take pictures of you when you looked like this—partially glowing from the light, wearing a devious smile like you might be trying to crack his lens—and not get called a pervert for it.
his movements were automatic now. he’d done this enough—admired strangers and tried to pull the best out of them—but it was never quite like this. with every click of a button, and the perfectly adjusted flash, peter felt himself getting a bit hazy.
it would be his luck to faint while taking pictures of a pretty girl.
a pretty girl who’s head was tilted at him, eyes questioning, because she’d just said something and he was too busy scolding himself to notice
get yourself together.
“hmm?” peter asked, moving a step closer to you. “sorry i missed it.”
you smile like he’s said something funny. “should i try something else?” you say, “i’m not used to posing.”
“you’re doing great. you’re a natural.”
maybe a little too great. you blink at him, eyes darting away and sigh. even then, if peter took a photo, he’s sure it would come out perfectly. he probably wouldn’t need to edit any of these, even.
but he also probably would. just to stare at you some more.
“well, you’re the expert.”
but peter frowns. “are you feeling uncomfortable?”
“just—“ you shake your head. “will you tell me a joke, or something? i feel… awkward. i have no idea what i’m doing.”
“tell you a joke?” peter repeats, slightly amused.
“or just talk to me. anything.”
“sure,” he says, easily, nodding his head a bit too much. maybe it’s because you sort of whispered it, and peter sort of felt it on every single on of his nerve endings. “i, um,” he raises his brows. “i think i just forgot every joke i’ve ever heard.”
you laugh with your head tilted back and he snaps a shot. “just tell me about you, then.”
“me?”
“yes, peter parker, the photographer… and? part time comedian? full time alcoholic? father of six?”
peter frowns. “how old do you think i am?“
“old enough to be a professional photographer.”
“i don’t know if i would call myself a professional…” he winces, smiling a bit and feeling embarrassed for himself. flushed and completely ashamed because he’s usually better at this.
he can calm a clients nerves in five minutes. he can make people laugh and get the candid shot that he knows they’re looking for. he can turn an awkward social interaction into getting drinks after a shoot.
but there’s something about you and your smile, and the easy way you talk, like the words just fall out of your mouth and into place.
“i saw your prints,” you correct, shaking your head at him, “why do you think i hired you?”
“free eye candy?”
and then you actually laugh, chest releasing, and peter watches as your eyes squint at him like you’ve finally realized who you’re talking to.
it’s second nature when he presses the button.
“oh, yeah. i just googled ‘hottest male photographer in queens’ and yours was the first that came up.”
“i knew that ad would pay off eventually.”
“really, though. i’ve only got you for another twenty minutes so you’ve gotta tell me something good.”
peter frowns and moves to your left, changing the zoom on his camera and dimming the light. “i didn’t know you were paying for a gossip session.”
“okay, so you don’t like to talk about yourself. what else?”
he catches you as you adjust your hair, the light shining on the side of your face, gleaming off of you like something out of a sci-fi film.
peter shakes his head—his head is feeling a bit off. “um… i want to get a cat.”
you smile, completely darling and enough to knock a breath out of his chest. “i’ll add caring to the list. why haven’t you?”
“well, my apartment doesn’t really allow it…” he pauses for a moment playing with some settings. the two of you are dancing in circles, like a pendulum, when you move, he moves. “and also i’m not sure that i’d remember to feed it.”
“most animals make sure you remember. when i was a kid my dog would jump on whoever was closest when it was time for dinner.”
peter almost winces, and then catches himself. “i also think i’d poison it with my energy. it’d forget how to move its tail.”
“well, i’ve been around you for almost an hour and a half now and i can safely say that i still have control over all of my limbs.”
“good to know…” peter mutters while frowning at his screen. there’s nothing wrong with his camera, or with you, just with his hands. and his heart.
“everything okay?”
he shakes his head, then nods, clearing his throat. “yeah—yeah. i’m just messing with the settings.”
“are you getting anything good? useable?”
“they’re all good,” he says—to himself and out loud like a complete idiot. and then he looks up, awkwardly laughing. “like i said, you’re a natural.”
“even if you’re lying,” you tease, undeterred by his awkwardness, “i’m sure you’ll fix it all before i see.”
“i’m not lying, but yeah.”
when you smile, he smiles back.
“okay,” you say, moving. “what else? got any friends or family? any plans after this?”
“which question am i supposed to answer?”
“all of them, peter.”
he chuckles. “it’s mostly just me and my aunt. and a couple of long lost cousins. as for friends, i’ve kept in touch with some people from college. oh, and me and the john down the street who makes me a sandwich everyday are close.”
you lift your head, revealing the skin of your neck and jaw to peter. and a fetish he didn’t know he had. “and after this?”
“i’ll probably just go home and edit these, actually.”
“it’s friday.”
he shrugs. squinting at you before the next shot. he’s not even really looking.
“nothing fun?” you ask him. “surely you’ll be sick of my face after this.”
“that’d be hard.”
he watches a sheepish smile reveal itself on your face before it’s gone. you look away. “you’re young, peter. you should be having fun.”
“what are you doing after this?” peter asks, as a challenge.
your brows lift. “this seems like a line.”
he laughs. “not like that.”
you shrug and blink when the flash goes off. “i’ll figure out something. are there any good bars nearby?”
peter pauses, dropping his camera. “are we back to the alcoholic thing.”
“no,” you laugh, “we’re way past that. i just think that your flash is giving me a bit of an adrenaline rush. i could use a calm me down.”
“you okay?”
“i’m kidding, peter. keep going, you’re almost a free man.”
so he does.
you continue to prod him with personal questions, attacking him with your smile and your unsurprisingly sharp wit. you throw his words right back to him, and peter knows, in his deepest of thoughts, that he’s going to be hearing your voice later on.
that when he’s looking back on these pictures, he’s going to see a timeline of your allure, and of his own demise.
he’s already loving and dreading it.
he finishes up by making you laugh from your nose, loud and unprecedented, and so genuinely rewarding that peter has to refrain from clapping himself on the back.
you smile at him as you slip on your jacket, still talking to him, acting too smooth to be just polite.
peter also has to refrain himself from trying to shake your head as he walks you to the door. he tries not to stare any longer, knowing what kind of night he has in store.
“when should i be seeing the pictures?” you ask him, lingering when you finally get to the door.
“sometime next week. i’ll email you a preview with a few different editing styles that you can pick from and then i’ll finish the album.”
“email?”
he scoffs, opening the door for you. “i’ll have you know that not everyone is as young and hip as you. do you know how many grandparents want photos with their family?”
“it just doesn’t seem like you, peter. i’d thought you’d train a carrier pigeon.”
he shakes his head at you, trying to hide his smile.
“but, seriously, thank you so much,” you say to him, voice full and easy, and honest. he can feel your heart and smell your perfume. “i know i’m a lot. especially when i’m nervous.”
“i’m just glad you didn’t ask me about my social security number.”
you reflectively smack yourself on the forehead. “i knew i forgot something.”
peter laughs, letting you slip past him trying to avoid your touch. he doesn’t, and if benjamin franklin was there, he might’ve discovered a whole different type of electricity.
“i’ll talk to you soon,” peter says, and your close enough that it’s almost a whisper. “just let me know if there’s any issues with the pictures, or you have any questions. you’ve got my number.”
“i do.”
his body feels physically repelled from inside the studio, but he forces himself to take a step in anyway. “have a good weekend.”
“you too.”
and then you turn to go, and peter can’t help but stare. he hopes that the tint on the shop windows is enough to keep you from noticing.
but before he can close the door—and mind that it took him an outrageously stupid amount of time—you’re turning back around.
“wait, peter,” you say, voice breathless and jagged. like peters hands as they rush to push open the door again.
it’s embarrassing how quickly he manages to do it.
“yes?”
you smile, like you know exactly what he’s thinking. peter will have that smile branded into his brain.
“do you wanna come with me to get that drink?” you ask him, softly, and wide, with a smile that bursts blood vessels.
peter really needs to get over himself.
*
629 notes · View notes
petite-gloom · 1 month
Text
made the blog available to patrons last night and it seems to have gone down well which is always a surreal thing because i really don’t consider myself to be a writer. just someone with a lot to say i guess. but its a relief that people like to read it and listen to me. im very grateful
to clarify (ive seen some people asking) the blog wont be behind a paywall, it’ll just be on my existing website for free. its password protected atm while i sort it out but i’ll make it available soon (this evening maybe?)
very interesting also to read from a few people that everyone is feeling increasingly disillusioned with social media and short form content and are therefore looking for quieter, slower, more deliberate spaces like blogs to interact in. everyone start a blog i want to read about your interests
185 notes · View notes
ronanlynchdefender · 10 months
Text
The conversation between Maura and The Grey Man about Gansey and Adam is so meta because they’re basically voicing the audience’s perceptions of the characters.
The narrative is framed so all of us think that Gansey is the Main Character: Richard Gansey and his band of merry men (Maura’s pov)
We all assume this, but as you read the series it becomes increasingly clear that Adam Parrish is the Hidden Protagonist of the narrative. His desire, his need, to control his own life permeates the narrative. Adam takes action even when Gansey is afraid to (stopping Whelk, making the sacrifice) and subsequently propels the plot forward.
This is where The Grey Man’s perspective comes in: Adam Parrish and his band of merry men.
I LOVE that he says this because The Grey Man is an incredibly perceptive character, and while him and Adam have little (if any) interactions, he still notices who is really running the show here. He recognizes that Adam is probably a lot like himself: a guy everyone overlooks but with incredible power to make the difficult decisions everyone is afraid to make. And I just love that The Grey Man, in saying this, shows Adam respect and gives him credit where credit is due.
So this little disagreement between Maura and The Grey Man about who REALLY is the Main Character of this story reflects us. We see Gansey as the protagonist, but we also see Adam Parrish fulfill this role as well. Sometimes, it appears that Adam is even MORE of the main character than Gansey (in my opinion).
And the truth is that they’re BOTH main characters just in completely different ways. It’s honestly insane to me that Maggie can have these two widely different character journeys running parallel to each other in the same series, but she does it. And because they’re so different the development of each entangles and clashes with the other in fascinating and volatile ways.
GOD. It’s just so good I feel like I could teach a class about these goddamn books.
602 notes · View notes
bully⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
thursday, sung hanbin— poetry ii
Tumblr media
⋆˙⟡ zbully1 smut series masterlist! hanbin, jiwoong, hao, matthew, and taerae included. game day (group) chapter here. all 7 endings here.
⋆˙⟡ wc: 3.5k (it's a doozy but it's worth it i literally am so happy with this one)
⋆˙⟡ reader: femme afab (listed first, she/her are used) // gender neutral (alternate version listed second, no pronouns used at all to describe reader— scroll down)
⋆˙⟡ series summary: five bullies. six days. it's gonna be a hell of a week, babe. stay hydrated.
⋆˙⟡ thursday summary: thursday. good news: the week is almost over. bad news: you're stuck in poetry class with sung hanbin as your desk partner. it's weird. sometimes you play off each other so well, you're nearly blindsided by his sudden flipping of the switch. if only you could steal a glimpse at his journal.
⋆˙⟡ warnings: explicit smut. 18+. minors do not interact. please read specific smut warnings under the cut! swearing. angst. slight dub-con. bullying. very toxic softboi/popular soccer star hanbinnie. guys THE LORE. you very well may not survive til the end of the week but we're already on this journey together so let's see it through!!! smut in gn and fem versions are slightly different due to logistics/circumstance. also there's two parts i wrote in here that made me laugh way too hard okay bye. xx
⋆˙⟡ bully scale: ★★★★☆(4.5)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: choking (reader receiving and safely executed lmao), chest groping/brief nipple play (reader receiving; reader is wearing a bra and hanbin refers to you as having 'tits'), heavy petting (reader and hanbin receiving), fingering (brief, reader receiving), erotic humiliation and degradation (towards reader; about looseness of pussy after this week/disappointing chest but not the size of it he's just being a dick am i making sense), slut and whore used to describe reader, one slap across the face (reader receiving), slight dub-con but we know how reader rolls now lol. hanbin is insanely toxic. enjoy.
Tumblr media
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
scribble. scribble. scribble. 
the scratchings of your pencil in your poetry journal are growing increasingly violent. you don’t really care. you’d stayed up all night: tossing and turning and thinking and plotting. 
“hey, uh... you okay?” hanbin asks, tapping you gently with the end of his pen. your pencil falls from your fingers as you’re jolted from your anxious thought spiral. 
“huh?” you reply, blinking at the star of the soccer team. “oh, um. yeah. i’m okay.”
hanbin’s brow raises slightly at your answer as if it surprises him. “you sure?”
“yeah,” you reply as nonchalantly as possible. “why?”
you follow hanbin’s line of sight to the open page of your poetry journal. you’ve absentmindedly ripped a significant hole through several pages with your vortex of nervous scribbling.
you breathe an awkward laugh, closing your journal and putting your pencil down flat on your desk.
“you had a rough week,” hanbin says, grabbing his journal from his bag and placing it on his desk. you bite your cheeks to keep from grinning at the sight of your target. “or so i’ve heard.”
“i’m sure you have,” you mumble, glancing at the tile floor. “i’m sure everybody has.”
“they haven’t,” he replies definitively and you know he’s telling the truth. “i promise they haven’t.”
hanbin was a tricky one. the star of the soccer team and undoubtedly the most popular boy at your university, it comes as no surprise that he was also the makeshift ring leader of his stupid group of friends. keeping that spotlight also meant keeping up appearances. while your other bullies made their distaste for you known whenever possible, hanbin had a different preferred method of torture.
he liked to play nice. compliment your poems. share a laugh... reel you in.
until you were so close, you couldn’t escape. that’s when he’d flip the script on you. 
like when he sent your poem about the boy you liked to the entire university’s mailing list last year. you’d insisted you didn’t feel comfortable sharing it with him. you recoiled with embarrassment at the thought of junseo, your senior lab partner, finding out. but he pushed. made you think you could trust him.
the next day, it was pinned to every bulletin board across campus next to a picture of you that hanbin had taken on your class trip to the national library. like some sort of sick calling card.
junseo sunbae-nim never muttered more than a word to you ever again.
so that’s how all this started. hanbin recruiting his three (and then four) asshole friends in a sudden and violent quest to become the bane of your existence. 
sometimes you still can’t help but wonder if you’d done something to upset him. but you shake off that thought each time. you won’t let him get in your head again so easily.
you’ve about mustered the courage to give hanbin some snarky response when your professor’s chalk hatchings across the blackboard send a hush over the classroom.
“good afternoon, everyone,” professor choi greets happily, underlining today’s date on the board. “let’s jump right in today and start with our weekly journals. please share with your desk partner the poem that this week so far inspired you to write.”
your eyes fix on hanbin’s journal again, anticipation stirring as you think about the clues that could be hidden in his poem this week. could the answers you’re looking for really be inside that black, leather book?
“you should go fi—,” you start to suggest a bit too quietly before hanbin unknowingly cuts you off.
“do you wanna go first?” he asks brightly, smile lines illuminating his soft features. you know you shouldn’t indulge him, but you can never stop the corners of your lips from involuntarily turning up in response. no matter how much you hated him, his fairytale prince looks were undeniable.
“oh, uh,” you stammer, grabbing your journal and flipping it open to your entry from this week. you look at the poem you wrote, eyes scanning over the emotional stanzas as you bite your lip uneasily. “i dunno. i kind of got a bit too... personal this week.”
“oh, you know i don’t mind,” he replies calmly. “that’s what poetry is, right?”
“i’m well aware you don’t mind me spilling personal details to you,” you reply with a glare. “but i mind.”
“(y/n)-sshi,” professor choi’s voice suddenly rings over your shoulder. “let’s get reading, okay? time is limited.”
you swallow hard, looking down at your journal shamefully. “yes, professor-nim.”
“so what’s it called?” hanbin asks as professor choi makes her way back up to her desk, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back into his chair. “your poem?”
“the bird,” you answer softly. “it’s called the bird.”
he nods pensively before gesturing for you to start. you look back down at the page, fingers shaking as you try to hold your journal steady. clearing your throat, you recite:
“from her perch at the window, she will never be much. the vultures jeered at her as they circled above. then one flew down— with taloned-hand, he did touch. and a meek little finch turned into a dove. if a dove she can be, she will be it as such. til another vulture fell to his knees with a glove. parted her feathers and took her in his clutch. and from the fair bird, made a raven thereof. she needs to change back, so she tries to stay hush. but a third brash vulture throws her off with a shove. the reluctant truth is she’s filling with lust... and she’s growing quite scared of the bird she’ll become.”
you blink back tears as you close your journal and place it on your desk in front of you. maybe it’s your lack of sleep or the mentally and physically jarring week you’ve had, but reading your poem aloud had left you feeling quite vulnerable.
“that was beautiful, (y/n),” hanbin says suddenly, prying you from your regret. you turn to him, eyes wide as he nods thoughtfully. “i really appreciated the metaphor of the bird. the vultures are considered bad birds, but somehow they changed the subject from an unassuming bird into the more beautiful bird she seemed to want to be... but never thought she could.”
you stare at him as he glances up at the ceiling, those handsome smile lines crinkling his cheeks again.
“funny how things we could perceive as wrong or immoral can actually have a positive effect on us,” he muses with a chuckle. “but it’s only natural for the bird to question that change. she’s done more of that ‘bad’ thing and now she’s afraid it’s turned her into a raven. a bird that frightens her. or maybe a bird she can’t recognize anymore when she looks in the mirror.”
“it did,” you assert quietly. “it did change her.”
“but it sounds like she likes that change. at least part of her,” hanbin rebuts, meeting your gaze. “perhaps if she embraces that and sheds her own guilt— or molts, if you will— she’ll realize the raven is another distortion of her own making, just like the finch was. she’ll realize she is the dove and she always has been.”
your lips part as you gape at hanbin in awe. it was hard not to let your guard down with him when he always dissected your poems so intuitively like this. memories of intense public humiliation are the only thing that can keep you grounded.
“or,” he adds, a small smirk upturning the corner of his lips. “i guess she could also realize that ravens and vultures aren’t the bad birds she thinks they are. maybe she finds that, after all this worrying, she was meant to be a vulture, too.”
“under a minute left,” professor choi calls out from the front of the classroom.
shit. hanbin had talked so much about your poem that he barely had any time left to share his— the poem you desperately needed to be shared in the first place.
hanbin’s still rambling on about vultures, but you’re not paying any attention as a wave of panic rushes over you. 
“you should share yours still,” you prompt a little too eagerly, cutting him off mid-sentence. trying your best to dial it back, you add, “i’m sure it’s very interesting, what with the big game on saturday and all.”
hanbin smiles, holding your gaze for a moment too long. it’s suspicious, but his eyes give nothing away.
“if it’s okay with you, i’d rather not share this week,” he says, throwing his journal back in his bag. “i got a little too... how did you put it? personal.”
you blink at him. “but—. but that’s what i said and you—.”
hanbin mutters something under his breath that you swear sounds like, “not like you’d listen to me anyway.”
but you must’ve misheard him.
your heart sinks, your plan crumbling to ashes before your eyes as professor choi launches into a lecture about wilfred owen’s 20th century use of assonance. hanbin had to have written something about what his friends had been up to. that’s why he used up so much time focusing on your poem. 
your pencil moves across your paper, absentmindedly taking notes until you reach the only possible conclusion: you can’t give up. you’ll just have to amend the plan.
after class, you hurriedly gather your things and run out the door, pulling your phone out and typing vigorously as you make your way to the bathroom.
WHEN DOES THE BOYS’ SOCCER PRACTICE GO UNTIL TONIGHT!? mina: ??? NO QUESTIONS. JUST ANSWERS. mina: jiwoong oppa is picking me up at 7. so i assume about 6:30. THANK U BYE and... please be careful around him. mina: yeah, yeah, yeah i’ll use protection ily
totally not what you meant. and you’d hate to break it to her, but after his little stunt on monday, you’re not sure how fond her jiwoong oppa would be of that request.
6:30. practice would start soon, giving you plenty of time to slip into the boys’ locker room, read hanbin’s journal, and slip out undetected. 
you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror.
a raven’s beady eyes stare back.
~
you kill some time in the library, waiting until practice is well underway before making your way across campus to the gymnasium. your heart is already pounding in your ears just thinking about the little heist you’re about to pull.
but your legs keep propelling you forward.
pulling open the building door, you step inside cautiously. the women’s badminton team is stretching in the atrium of the building, but there’s no sign of anyone else. you head right down the hallway, walking past the cardio fitness center and the weight-lifting gym until you’re in front of the boys’ locker room door.
you put an ear to it, hearing nothing but the whirring of a fan on the other side.
fuck it.
you pull open the door and step inside, white and grey tiled walls and rows of blue lockers surrounding you. your heart races as you look back at the door, wondering if it’s not too late to abandon your mission.
you shake your head. no. you need to find that journal.
with a steadying breath, you begin to walk through the first row of lockers. when you don’t spot hanbin’s bag, you proceed to the second row. and then the next. and then the next until you finally spot it.
tucked under the wooden bench running down the middle of the aisle is a familiar brown, leather messenger bag. you run to it, picking it up from the floor and setting it down on the bench. you unclasp the latch on the front of the bag and lift the flap, opening it up and reaching inside it.
your hand hits something... fluffy. you grab the fuzzy item and pull it out, squealing when you see that it’s a tiny, cream-colored hamster plush. it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your whole goddamn life. 
and you are disappointed to find yourself thinking it bears a striking resemblance to its owner.
you stuff the little hamster back into the bag. as cute as he is, it’s not what you came here for. you gasp when you feel the cold leather-bound journal in your hand, pulling it out hurriedly and examining the cover.
you open the journal, flipping through the pages rashly until you locate an entry with today’s date at the top. it reads:
“if one is a vulture, it’s assumed they’re no good— despite all the research that they’re helpful to earth. does the finch know that if that vulture could, he’d hunt for a mirror and show her her worth? if that finch is a dove, there’d be something that would still keep her away from achieving true mirth. it’s the vultures, she’d cry before she understood: the vulture has always been a sign of rebirth. a dove, raven, vulture, or finch from the woods, the vultures will find her and double their search. but for someone who claims they feel misunderstood, it’s repulsive the lengths she would go to unearth... something that does not belong to that bird. seems the dove was a raven afterall.”
“pretty good, huh?” the sudden voice behind you makes you jump. “wrote it in, like, ten minutes after class. what can i say? i was inspired.”
you don’t turn around. your face is already on fire from how mortified you are. of course, you’d considered the possibility of being caught. but you hadn’t really realized the weight of that consequence until this moment.
“actually, i think it might be even better than the original,” he continues, footsteps echoing against the tiled floors as he draws nearer. “i mean, you really should’ve thought to flesh out those vulture characters a bit. and you didn’t even consider looking up the well-known symbolism behind them.”
a hot breath fans across the back of your neck, causing you to shiver as a hand wraps around the leather-bound journal and pries it from yours.
“i have to admit, i didn’t really think you had it in you,” he says with a chuckle, fingers suddenly hooking into your waistband and turning you around to face him. he’s in his red and white soccer uniform, skin glistening from the practice meet he should be at right now. “but just in case, i wanted to be prepared. write you something worth reading.”
“h-how did you know?” you stutter quietly. “that i—”
“well, you weren’t exactly subtle, now were you?” hanbin smiles but the light doesn’t reach his eyes. “‘you should read your poem, hanbin. i’m sure it’s exciting with the big game coming up’. like you give a fuck about my poetry.”
that last sentence reminds you of what you thought you’d heard him mumble in class today: not like you’d listen to me anyway.
what was that about?
“aw, don’t get sad now that your plan didn’t go your way,” hanbin coos, lifting his hand to caress your cheek. “i thought it was kind of cute. i can forgive you for stealing, right? you just wanted my attention so badly that you had to play a bit dirty.”
you shake your head quickly. “no, it’s not like that! i swear i wasn’t trying to get your attention, i just—”
“well then, jesus fucking christ, what do i have to do to—,” hanbin snaps before promptly cutting himself off. there’s something in his eyes you’ve never seen before: desperation. 
a large hand wraps around your throat in an instant, shoving you up against a blue locker. the motion knocks the wind out of you and you find yourself gasping for air. your hand flies to remove his from around your neck, but he catches it in his free one and brings it gently back down to your side. 
“i told you in class that if you needed help calling off the vultures, you should ask me while you still can,” hanbin rasps, rubbing his thumb up the left side of your throat. “but you weren’t listening, dove. the gulper got first bite. the rippers tore you apart...”
you breathe shallowly, glancing from side to side for some route of escape.
“but now the king has landed,” he says, tongue flitting across his teeth. “and he’s fucking starving.”
you blink at him, lips parted in stupid shock. “i—... i honestly had no idea you knew so much about vultures.”
“THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK FROM THAT ARE YOU KID—,” he yells, finger pads digging in tighter to the skin of your neck. his gaze falls to your lips, supple and pretty even in fear. he trails down to your shirt, a button-up front that seems to entice him. “take it off.”
“b-but—.”
“take it the fuck off, (y/n). you should know by now how this goes,” hanbin snarls, grabbing your hand and bringing it to the trail of buttons. you start to fiddle with them, but you have some trouble under the pressure of his gaze. “can’t even undo a button? hm? too fucking stupid, dove?”
you find yourself nodding against all odds.
“need binnie to do it for you?” he coos, smile lines illuminating his face again.
you just nod. it seems to be what you do best.
hanbin unfastens the buttons one-handed and with ease. once your shirt is open, he undoes the center clasp of your bra and exposes your chest. then, he sighs with dramatic disappointment. “seriously? that’s it? got me all excited to see your tits and this is what you have to show?”
you look down at your incredibly normal and attractive chest. you’d never really doubted the allure of that part of your body before. should you have?
the humiliating comment causes a lump to form in your throat... and an embarrassingly intense ache to shoot through your heat. 
he tugs the center hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric further off your shoulders. “it’s a good thing the other guys didn’t see them. they’re far more superficial than me. you should be grateful you found a guy who can look past the disappointment. ”
hanbin’s free hand gropes your chest, thumb rubbing circles around one nipple and then the next as you let out a soft whimper.
“mm, i heard that,” he breathes with a smirk. “even though you never hear me. probably didn’t even fucking clock the first line in that stupid poem. but i hear you, dove. so let me give you what you want. all you have to do is ask.”
you gulp, softly responding, “w-want you to... touch me.”
“yeah?” hanbin affirms, finger trailing down your stomach.
you nod again, this time more assuredly under the guise of his encouraging smile. that is, until a harsh slap stings your cheek.
“well that wasn’t a fucking question, was it?” hanbin hisses, rubbing soothing circles into your cheek with his thumb. “you’re in an advanced poetry class and you don’t even know how to form an interrogative sentence? just must be doodling all the time, huh? about all the boys who’ve made a mess of you this week? like the dumb little slut you are.”
hanbin’s free hand slips under your skirt, fingers brushing over your clothed core before pulling it out again. you gasp when you see his fingers already covered in your arousal.
his eyes darken as he reaches up your skirt again, tearing a hole right through your lace panties and stuffing two fingers inside of you immediately as you cry out. 
“oh, dove, why would i wanna put my cock in here, hm? can already feel how much those other assholes have stretched you out,” hanbin says with another sigh of disappointment. 
another bout of worry clouds your mind. was that true? was matthew right? you thought he was just being a misogynistic pig, but... had you really been physically tainted from the events of this week?
“so fucking lucky, dove,” hanbin whispers, removing his hand from your heat and taking one of yours. he brings it down the front of his athletic shorts and then wraps it around his impossibly hard length. you look up at him, wide-eyed. “where every other man would see damaged goods, i see prime real estate.”
“what—”
“gonna fuck you now, m’kay?” hanbin interjects, pulling his shorts down and exposing himself to you. you hadn’t really seen the other boys up close or at all like this. hanbin’s cock is pretty, long with just a few visible veins and a pink head that’s leaking a bit of pre-cum. it makes your mouth water. maybe you are a dumb slut.
maybe you like it like that.
or maybe it’s just hanbin’s large hand covering your throat, pressing at the sides tenderly that’s making you start to feel a bit high. he brings himself to your entrance, lining up the tip and coating it in your juices. he’s about to push himself inside of you, when he suddenly freezes.
“you want me to, right?” hanbin asks, tone suddenly much softer than it was before. his eyes are locked with yours, holding you there with him against the wall of lockers. “you want me inside you? just me. not those other guys? not junseo hyung-nim or—”
BEEEEEEEEEP. BRRANG. BRRANG. BRRANG. BEEEEEEEE....
a fire alarm rips through the locker room, loud and annoying as ever. you try to jump out of hanbin’s grasp, but his hands stay fixed around you. 
“let me... let me go!” you assert, hitting his chest with your palm. the pressure on your neck that felt so good just a few moments ago is now filling you with fear, “are you trying to kill me or something!?”
his brow raises slightly, as if he only just noticed the alarm. his grip loosens and you take the opportunity to scramble away from him. 
“of course i’m not,” he replies dejectedly, re-situating his shorts before huffing, “like you have a body worth going to jail for.”
“oh, shut up,” you retort, rolling your eyes as you race to re-button your shirt. “this is all YOUR fault. whatever’s going on this week, i know you’re behind it. you’ve run out of ideas to keep me small. but i’m not small. in fact, i’m a much bigger person than you are! so... i’m sorry for whatever i did that made you hate me so much in the first place. now, please, let’s get out of here.”
you start to run down the aisle of lockers towards the exit door, but a lack of footsteps behind you causes you to stop and turn back.
“come on,” you urge as hanbin continues to stand in place and stare at you, unmoving. it might be the most infuriating thing he’s done all day. “oh, fucking burn then.”
the tangible anger in your voice startles both of you. hanbin blinks quickly back at you, wide-eyed as if you’ve just slapped him across the face. whoever gave him the right to feel that way is sorely mistaken. you turn back around, throwing over your shoulder:
“are there birds worse than vultures?”
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
Tumblr media
gender neutral version below
EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: choking (reader receiving and safely executed lmao), chest/abdomen groping (reader receiving; no anatomical descriptions or gender specific language), heavy petting (reader and hanbin receiving), finger penetration (brief, reader receiving), erotic humiliation and degradation (towards reader; regarding looseness of hole (non specific) from desperation and disappointing chest/abdomen region (not related to gender or anatomical gendered parts he's just being a dick to you i hope this makes sense)), slut and whore are also used but not in a gendered context, one slap across face (reader receiving), slight dub-con but we know how reader rolls now lol. hanbin is insanely toxic. enjoy.
Tumblr media
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
scribble. scribble. scribble. 
the scratchings of your pencil in your poetry journal are growing increasingly violent. you don’t really care. you’d stayed up all night: tossing and turning and thinking and plotting. 
“hey, uh... you okay?” hanbin asks, tapping you gently with the end of his pen. your pencil falls from your fingers as you’re jolted from your anxious thought spiral. 
“huh?” you reply, blinking at the star of the soccer team. “oh, um. yeah. i’m okay.”
hanbin’s brow raises slightly at your answer as if it surprises him. “you sure?”
“yeah,” you reply as nonchalantly as possible. “why?”
you follow hanbin’s line of sight to the open page of your poetry journal. you’ve absentmindedly ripped a significant hole through several pages with your vortex of nervous scribbling.
you breathe an awkward laugh, closing your journal and putting your pencil down flat on your desk.
“you had a rough week,” hanbin says, grabbing his journal from his bag and placing it on his desk. you bite your cheeks to keep from grinning at the sight of your target. “or so i’ve heard.”
“i’m sure you have,” you mumble, glancing at the tile floor. “i’m sure everybody has.”
“they haven’t,” he replies definitively and you know he’s telling the truth. “i promise they haven’t.”
hanbin was a tricky one. the star of the soccer team and undoubtedly the most popular boy at your university, it comes as no surprise that he was also the makeshift ring leader of his stupid group of friends. keeping that spotlight also meant keeping up appearances. while your other bullies made their distaste for you known whenever possible, hanbin had a different preferred method of torture.
he liked to play nice. compliment your poems. share a laugh... reel you in.
until you were so close, you couldn’t escape. that’s when he’d flip the script on you. 
like when he sent your poem about the boy you liked to the entire university’s mailing list last year. you’d insisted you didn’t feel comfortable sharing it with him. you recoiled with embarrassment at the thought of junseo, your senior lab partner, finding out. but he pushed. made you think you could trust him.
the next day, it was pinned to every bulletin board across campus next to a picture of you that hanbin had taken on your class trip to the national library. like some sort of sick calling card.
junseo sunbae-nim never muttered more than a word to you ever again.
so that’s how all this started. hanbin recruiting his three (and then four) asshole friends in a sudden and violent quest to become the bane of your existence. 
sometimes you still can’t help but wonder if you’d done something to upset him. but you shake off that thought each time. you won’t let him get in your head again so easily.
you’ve about mustered the courage to give hanbin some snarky response when your professor’s chalk hatchings across the blackboard send a hush over the classroom.
“good afternoon, everyone,” professor choi greets happily, underlining today’s date on the board. “let’s jump right in today and start with our weekly journals. please share with your desk partner the poem that this week so far inspired you to write.”
your eyes fix on hanbin’s journal again, anticipation stirring as you think about the clues that could be hidden in his poem this week. could the answers you’re looking for really be inside that black, leather book?
“you should go fi—,” you start to suggest a bit too quietly before hanbin unknowingly cuts you off.
“do you wanna go first?” he asks brightly, smile lines illuminating his soft features. you know you shouldn’t indulge him, but you can never stop the corners of your lips from involuntarily turning up in response. no matter how much you hated him, his fairytale prince looks were undeniable.
“oh, uh,” you stammer, grabbing your journal and flipping it open to your entry from this week. you look at the poem you wrote, eyes scanning over the emotional stanzas as you bite your lip uneasily. “i dunno. i kind of got a bit too... personal this week.”
“oh, you know i don’t mind,” he replies calmly. “that’s what poetry is, right?”
“i’m well aware you don’t mind me spilling personal details to you,” you reply with a glare. “but i mind.”
“(y/n)-sshi,” professor choi’s voice suddenly rings over your shoulder. “let’s get reading, okay? time is limited.”
you swallow hard, looking down at your journal shamefully. “yes, professor-nim.”
“so what’s it called?” hanbin asks as professor choi makes her way back up to her desk, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back into his chair. “your poem?”
“the bird,” you answer softly. “it’s called the bird.”
he nods pensively before gesturing for you to start. you look back down at the page, fingers shaking as you try to hold your journal steady. clearing your throat, you recite:
“from it’s perch at the window, it will never be much. the vultures jeered at it as they circled above. then one flew down— with taloned-hand, he did touch. and a meek little finch turned into a dove. if a dove it can be, it will be it as such. til another vulture fell to his knees with a glove. parted it’s feathers and took it in his clutch. and from the fair bird, made a raven thereof. it needs to change back, so it tries to stay hush. but a third brash vulture throws it off with a shove. the reluctant truth is it’s filling with lust... and it’s growing quite scared of the bird it will become.”
you blink back tears as you close your journal and place it on your desk in front of you. maybe it’s your lack of sleep or the mentally and physically jarring week you’ve had, but reading your poem aloud had left you feeling quite vulnerable.
“that was beautiful, (y/n),” hanbin says suddenly, prying you from your regret. you turn to him, eyes wide as he nods thoughtfully. “i really appreciated the metaphor of the bird. the vultures are considered bad birds, but somehow they changed the subject from an unassuming bird into the more beautiful bird it seemed to want to be... but never thought it could.”
you stare at him as he glances up at the ceiling, those handsome smile lines crinkling his cheeks again.
“funny how things we could perceive as wrong or immoral can actually have a positive effect on us,” he muses with a chuckle. “but it’s only natural for the bird to question that change. it’s done more of that ‘bad’ thing and now it’s afraid it’s been turned into a raven. a bird that’s frightening. or maybe a bird it can’t recognize anymore when it looks in the mirror.”
“it did,” you assert quietly. “it did change the bird.”
“but it sounds like the bird likes that change. at least part of it,” hanbin rebuts, meeting your gaze. “perhaps if it embraces that and sheds it’s own guilt— or molts, if you will— it’ll realize the raven is another distortion of the bird’s own making, just like the finch was. it’ll realize it is the dove and it always has been.”
your lips part as you gape at hanbin in awe. it was hard not to let your guard down with him when he always dissected your poems so intuitively like this. memories of intense public humiliation are the only thing that can keep you grounded.
“or,” he adds, a small smirk upturning the corner of his lips. “i guess it could also realize that ravens and vultures aren’t the bad birds it thinks they are. maybe it finds that, after all this worrying, the bird was meant to be a vulture, too.”
“under a minute left,” professor choi calls out from the front of the classroom.
shit. hanbin had talked so much about your poem that he barely had any time left to share his— the poem you desperately needed to be shared in the first place.
hanbin’s still rambling on about vultures, but you’re not paying any attention as a wave of panic rushes over you. 
“you should share yours still,” you prompt a little too eagerly, cutting him off mid-sentence. trying your best to dial it back, you add, “i’m sure it’s very interesting, what with the big game on saturday and all.”
hanbin smiles, holding your gaze for a moment too long. it’s suspicious, but his eyes give nothing away.
“if it’s okay with you, i’d rather not share this week,” he says, throwing his journal back in his bag. “i got a little too... how did you put it? personal.”
you blink at him. “but—. but that’s what i said and you—.”
hanbin mutters something under his breath that you swear sounds like, “not like you’d listen to me anyway.”
but you must’ve misheard him.
your heart sinks, your plan crumbling to ashes before your eyes as professor choi launches into a lecture about wilfred owen’s 20th century use of assonance. hanbin had to have written something about what his friends had been up to. that’s why he used up so much time focusing on your poem. 
your pencil moves across your paper, absentmindedly taking notes until you reach the only possible conclusion: you can’t give up. you’ll just have to amend the plan.
after class, you hurriedly gather your things and run out the door, pulling your phone out and typing vigorously as you make your way to the bathroom.
WHEN DOES THE BOYS’ SOCCER PRACTICE GO UNTIL TONIGHT!? mina: ??? NO QUESTIONS. JUST ANSWERS. mina: jiwoong oppa is picking me up at 7. so i assume about 6:30. THANK U BYE and... please be careful around him. mina: yeah, yeah, yeah i’ll use protection ily
totally not what you meant. and you’d hate to break it to her, but after his little stunt on monday, you’re not sure how fond her jiwoong oppa would be of that request.
6:30. practice would start soon, giving you plenty of time to slip into the boys’ locker room, read hanbin’s journal, and slip out undetected. 
you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror.
a raven’s beady eyes stare back.
~
you kill some time in the library, waiting until practice is well underway before making your way across campus to the gymnasium. your heart is already pounding in your ears just thinking about the little heist you’re about to pull.
but your legs keep propelling you forward.
pulling open the building door, you step inside cautiously. the women’s badminton team is stretching in the atrium of the building, but there’s no sign of anyone else. you head right down the hallway, walking past the cardio fitness center and the weight-lifting gym until you’re in front of the boys’ locker room door.
you put an ear to it, hearing nothing but the whirring of a fan on the other side.
fuck it.
you pull open the door and step inside, white and grey tiled walls and rows of blue lockers surrounding you. your heart races as you look back at the door, wondering if it’s not too late to abandon your mission.
you shake your head. no. you need to find that journal.
with a steadying breath, you begin to walk through the first row of lockers. when you don’t spot hanbin’s bag, you proceed to the second row. and then the next. and then the next until you finally spot it.
tucked under the wooden bench running down the middle of the aisle is a familiar brown, leather messenger bag. you run to it, picking it up from the floor and setting it down on the bench. you unclasp the latch on the front of the bag and lift the flap, opening it up and reaching inside it.
your hand hits something... fluffy. you grab the fuzzy item and pull it out, squealing when you see that it’s a tiny, cream-colored hamster plush. it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your whole goddamn life. 
and you are disappointed to find yourself thinking it bears a striking resemblance to its owner.
you stuff the little hamster back into the bag. as cute as he is, it’s not what you came here for. you gasp when you feel the cold leather-bound journal in your hand, pulling it out hurriedly and examining the cover.
you open the journal, flipping through the pages rashly until you locate an entry with today’s date at the top. it reads:
“if one is a vulture, it’s assumed they’re no good— despite all the research that they’re helpful to earth. does the finch know that if that vulture could, he’d hunt for a mirror and show it it’s worth? if that finch is a dove, there’d be something that would still keep it away from achieving true mirth. it’s the vultures, the bird cries before it understood: the vulture has always been a sign of rebirth. a dove, raven, vulture, or finch from the woods, the vultures will find it and double their search. but for someone who claims they feel misunderstood, it’s repulsive the lengths it would go to unearth... something that does not belong to that bird. seems the dove was a raven afterall.”
“pretty good, huh?” the sudden voice behind you makes you jump. “wrote it in, like, ten minutes after class. what can i say? i was inspired.”
you don’t turn around. your face is already on fire from how mortified you are. of course, you’d considered the possibility of being caught. but you hadn’t really realized the weight of that consequence until this moment.
“actually, i think it might be even better than the original,” he continues, footsteps echoing against the tiled floors as he draws nearer. “i mean, you really should’ve thought to flesh out those vulture characters a bit. and you didn’t even consider looking up the well-known symbolism behind them.”
a hot breath fans across the back of your neck, causing you to shiver as a hand wraps around the leather-bound journal and pries it from yours.
“i have to admit, i didn’t really think you had it in you,” he says with a chuckle, fingers suddenly hooking into your waistband and turning you around to face him. he’s in his red and white soccer uniform, skin glistening from the practice meet he should be at right now. “but just in case, i wanted to be prepared. write you something worth reading.”
“h-how did you know?” you stutter quietly. “that i—”
“well, you weren’t exactly subtle, now were you?” hanbin smiles but the light doesn’t reach his eyes. “‘you should read your poem, hanbin. i’m sure it’s exciting with the big game coming up’. like you give a fuck about my poetry.”
that last sentence reminds you of what you thought you’d heard him mumble in class today: not like you’d listen to me anyway.
what was that about?
“aw, don’t get sad now that your plan didn’t go your way,” hanbin coos, lifting his hand to caress your cheek. “i thought it was kind of cute. i can forgive you for stealing, right? you just wanted my attention so badly that you had to play a bit dirty.”
you shake your head quickly. “no, it’s not like that! i swear i wasn’t trying to get your attention, i just—”
“well then, jesus fucking christ, what do i have to do to—,” hanbin snaps before promptly cutting himself off. there’s something in his eyes you’ve never seen before: desperation. 
a large hand wraps around your throat in an instant, shoving you up against a blue locker. the motion knocks the wind out of you and you find yourself gasping for air. your hand flies to remove his from around your neck, but he catches it in his free one and brings it gently back down to your side. 
“i told you in class that if you needed help calling off the vultures, you should ask me while you still can,” hanbin rasps, rubbing his thumb up the left side of your throat. “but you weren’t listening, dove. the gulper got first bite. the rippers tore you apart...”
you breathe shallowly, glancing from side to side for some route of escape.
“but now the king has landed,” he says, tongue flitting across his teeth. “and he’s fucking starving.”
you blink at him, lips parted in stupid shock. “i—... i honestly had no idea you knew so much about vultures.”
“THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK FROM THAT ARE YOU KID—,” he yells, finger pads digging in tighter to the skin of your neck. his gaze falls to your lips, supple and pretty even in fear. he trails down to your shirt, a button-up front that seems to entice him. “take it off.”
“b-but—.”
“take it the fuck off, (y/n). you should know by now how this goes,” hanbin snarls, grabbing your hand and bringing it to the trail of buttons. you start to fiddle with them, but you have some trouble under the pressure of his gaze. “can’t even undo a button? hm? too fucking stupid, dove?”
you find yourself nodding against all odds.
“need binnie to do it for you?” he coos, smile lines illuminating his face again.
you just nod again. it seems to be what you do best.
hanbin unfastens the buttons one-handed and with ease. once your shirt is open, he tugs it to the side and exposes your chest. then, he sighs with dramatic disappointment. “seriously? that’s it? got me all excited to see how good you look under here and this is what you have to show?”
you look down at your incredibly normal and attractive upper body. you’d never really doubted the aesthetics of it before. should you have?
the humiliating comment causes a lump to form in your throat... and an embarrassingly intense ache to shoot through your heat. 
he tugs the center hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric further off your shoulders. “it’s a good thing the other guys didn’t see this. they’re far more superficial than me. you should be grateful you found a guy who can look past the disappointment. ”
hanbin’s free hand roams across your abdomen and chest, fingers ghosting sweetly against your skin until you let out the tiniest whimper.
“mm, i heard that,” he breathes with a smirk. “even though you never hear me. probably didn’t even fucking clock the first line in that stupid poem. but i hear you, dove. so let me give you what you want. all you have to do is ask.”
you gulp, softly responding, “w-want you to... touch me.”
“yeah?” hanbin affirms, finger trailing down your stomach.
you nod again, this time more assuredly under the guise of his encouraging smile. that is, until a harsh slap stings your cheek.
“well that wasn’t a fucking question, was it?” hanbin hisses, rubbing soothing circles into your cheek with his thumb. “you’re in an advanced poetry class and you don’t even know how to form an interrogative sentence? just must be doodling all the time, huh? about all the boys who’ve made a mess of you this week? like the dumb little slut you are.”
hanbin’s free hand finds it’s way into your jeans, fingers brushing over your clothed core before pulling it out again. you gasp when you see his fingers already covered in your arousal.
his eyes darken as he undoes the button clasp and zipper of your pants, shoving your underwear to the side with his fingers. he forces your legs a bit farther apart before stuffing a finger inside of you, causing you to cry out. 
“oh, dove, why would i wanna put my cock in here, hm? so desperate, i could slip right in,” hanbin says with another sigh of disappointment. “did the other guys really make such a whore of you?”
another bout of worry clouds your mind. was that true? was matthew right? you thought he was just being a red-pilled pig, but... had you somehow been physically tainted from the events of this week?
“so fucking lucky, dove,” hanbin whispers, removing his hand from your center and taking one of yours. he brings it down the front of his athletic shorts and then wraps it around his impossibly hard length. you look up at him, wide-eyed. “where every other man would see damaged goods, i see prime real estate.”
“what—”
“gonna fuck you now, m’kay?” hanbin interjects, pulling his shorts down and exposing himself to you. you hadn’t really seen the other boys up close or at all like this. hanbin’s cock is pretty— long with just a few visible veins and a pink head that’s leaking a bit of pre-cum. it makes your mouth water. maybe you are a dumb slut.
maybe you like it like that.
or maybe it’s just hanbin’s large hand covering your throat, pressing at the sides both tenderly and persistently that’s making you feel a bit high. he brings himself to your entrance, spitting in his hand and covering his length as he lines up the tip. he’s about to push himself inside of you, when he suddenly freezes.
“you want me to, right?” hanbin asks, tone suddenly much softer than it was before. his eyes are locked with yours, holding you there with him against the wall of lockers. “you want me inside you? just me. not those other guys? not junseo hyung-nim or—”
BEEEEEEEEEP. BRRANG. BRRANG. BRRANG. BEEEEEEEE....
a fire alarm rips through the locker room, loud and annoying as ever. you try to jump out of hanbin’s grasp, but his hands stay fixed around you. 
“let me... let me go!” you assert, hitting his chest with your palm. the pressure on your neck that felt so good just a few moments ago is now filling you with fear, “are you trying to kill me or something!?”
his brow raises slightly, as if he only just noticed the alarm. his grip loosens and you take the opportunity to scramble away from him, frantically zipping up your jeans. 
“of course i’m not,” he replies dejectedly, re-situating his shorts before huffing, “like you have a body worth going to jail for.”
“oh, shut up,” you retort, rolling your eyes as you race to re-button your shirt. “this is all YOUR fault. whatever’s going on this week, i know you’re behind it. you’ve run out of ideas to keep me small. but i’m not small. in fact, i’m a much bigger person than you are! so... i’m sorry for whatever i did that made you hate me so much in the first place. now, please, let’s get out of here.”
you start to run down the aisle of lockers towards the exit door, but a lack of footsteps behind you causes you to stop and turn back.
“come on,” you urge as hanbin continues to stand in place and stare at you, unmoving. it might be the most infuriating thing he’s done all day. “oh, fucking burn then.”
the tangible anger in your voice startles both of you. hanbin blinks quickly back at you, wide-eyed as if you’ve just slapped him across the face. whoever gave him the right to feel that way is sorely mistaken. you turn back around, throwing over your shoulder:
“are there birds worse than vultures?”
294 notes · View notes
prince-liest · 9 months
Text
was recently talking to a friend about qi rong which then lead to me going on a reread of my favorite qi rong fic EVER, and now I’m in my feels about him, his relationship with his family, and his relationship with xie lian and guzi.
I just love qi rong a lot. to be clear, he’s a horrible little gremlin and that is a lot of WHY I love him - but I also think that fundamentally qi rong is a character who is super traumatized but does not receive sympathy for that trauma because he is not traumatized in a “palatable” way which is a trend that starts when he is young and just never ends, canonically, at any point in his life
right from the bat: the first 5 years of his life, he's being physically and emotionally abused, he's cast out to live in a shed, his mom is forgotten by her family. by the time she finally escapes his abusive father and goes back to the palace, her elopement with him has been swept under the rug and most people don't actually know what happened - and are then weirded out by her and qi rong, causing all the children and even most adults around qi rong to basically refuse to interact with him. so he's abused and hated, then isolated to the point where nobody talks to him, nobody plays with him. the one time he thinks he succeeded at attempting to make some friends, it turns out that they tricked him into writing a death wish for himself and his mother on his lantern.
and all the while, he's watching xie lian and the adulation he receives, not understanding why xie lian gets those things and he does not. everyone always says he looks like xie lian. he’s even called xiao jing, like he’s a mirror of the crown prince. what’s the difference?
and then xie lian himself is the only person aside from his own mother to be genuinely kind to qi rong. qi rong is desperately lonely, envious and fixated on the cousin that nobody will stop comparing him to, and then said cousin is the only person to reach out to him with kindness. of course he wants to attach himself to xie lian and emulate him.
unfortunately for both of them, then his mother dies - not just randomly, but specifically in defense of xie lian’s mother, and having extracted a promise for xie lian’s parents to care for qi rong. however, things don’t actually change at that point. sure, they take him in and buy him whatever he wants, but as far as love and care are concerned, xie lian is really the only potential source of those things left for qi rong. xie lian is also a teenager with a lot of pressure on his shoulders and a lack of understanding of difficult situations. of course he doesn’t know how to raise his traumatized, misbehaving cousin! and nobody else bothers to. it’s deeply unfair for xie lian to be used as the singular tool to discipline and direct qi rong, and that directly contributes to their extremely soured relationship.
now that qi rong’s mother is dead, there is nobody left around that actually wants him or is willing to put effort into properly raising him. when a kid turns out as wild as qi rong - that's not just random happenstance, that happens because they weren't parented right (or at all). he acts out in increasingly insane ways for the attention everyone hates to give him - anyone's, but especially xie lian's, which sucks for xie lian because it should have been his parents providing qi rong with an authority figure and source of love, not xie lian's teenage self. and people respond by waving him off, giving him whatever he wants just to make him go away, and ignoring him, because he has a deeply off-putting personality.
and it causes everyone around qi rong to resent him in this vicious cycle that escalates his behavior because he doesn't know what else to do - until eventually even xie lian, the one person that he really looked up to, hates him too.
obviously qi rong is an awful person by the point we reach in canon, but I also think that if he had received regular hugs as a child and maybe some actual parenting from someone who didn’t beat him, instead of just being given a bunch of money and being told to fuck off
specifically because he was weird and traumatized and unlikeable
things would have turned out very different for him. because he very clearly tries - that’s one thing that’s very clear in the flashbacks and even continues to modern canon: qi rong really tries to get love and attention, and when that doesn’t work, he just escalates to “any attention, bad attention, attention that proves I’m worth something, proves wrong all the people saying the supposedly-amazing cousin that took away my only source of kindness when he started hating me, is so much better than me”. he starts out an awkward, off-putting kid and ends up the night-touring green lantern. of course he holds enough resentment to end up a calamity. his cannibalism shtick doesn’t even read as genuine to me, it just seems like he picked out “what’s the worst, most attention-grabbing thing I can possibly be to pre-emptively justify everyone’s disgust in me” and landed on that.
(see also: I think it’s hysterical that he has very strong opinions and abilities as pertains to gourmet cooking, and then just uses them to lure in victims so that he can have his meal of Raw Unseasoned Human Flesh. you can’t tell me he’s doing it for anything other than the bit at this point.)
and that’s also why I think his weirdly wholesome relationship with guzi also makes a lot of sense. qi rong is a shockingly decent father to him (eventually), probably in part because he overidentifies with guzi also being abused by his father, but also, because guzi is literally just a kid and therefore is not someone that yet has the capacity to have all these preconceptions about qi rong, nor for qi rong to read into his words and be insulted, because. that's just a kid. there’s nothing to read into.
I think his treatment of guzi (eventually) shows that he's capable of being at least kind of decent (or at least functional), he's just never been in a circumstance where his trauma and relationships let it happen. his material life was always supplied for, but his emotional and familial environment in xianle was invariably toxic for him.
anyway, I think qi rong needs a shower and a hug, in that order, and then to be forced to learn to interact with people who don't immediately assume the worst of him. thanks for coming to my TED talk, I know it was long as hell.
533 notes · View notes