#also please don't use them to commit crimes

[theggning]

The Ace Attorney Parenting Tier List

If there’s one thing our favorite anime lawyer series has a lot of, it’s murders. If there’s two things, then it’s murders and awful parents.

It’s harder to find a good, attentive, caring parent in these games than it is to find a well-adjusted prosecutor. But out of all the malicious schemers, child-abandoners, deadbeats and just plain dead people, who are the best and worst parents in the Ace Attorney series? 

I have decided to rank them into a tier list using a highly scientific rating system. 

Rampant, unmarked spoilers for the entire AA series within (including AAI1 and 2 and TGAA)

CW: child abandonment and neglect, some mentions of verbal abuse

In order to qualify for ranking on this list, characters must meet the following criteria: 

They must be a named character with actual canon information about them. Offscreen or mentioned-only characters are not allowed (eg: Mia and Maya’s father, Pearl’s father, Mr. Hawthorne, other “headcanon” characters)

They must be a parent, or have taken on the role of a foster parent. No siblings raising siblings, or I’d have half the characters in the series on here. Having “big dad energy” or informally/sporadically protecting a kid doesn’t count (Sorry, Badd and Godot.) 

They must be aware that they are a parent, have actually met their child, or have taken steps to do so. “Hypothetical” parenting assumptions are not allowed. (eg: That one character you’re thinking of from GAA is not here because he died before his child was born.) 

Characters on this list are ranked from S through F tier, best parents at the top, taking into account the following criteria: 

Absence: Is this person even available to parent their kid? Is it because they abandoned them or because they were murdered? (Being the victim of murder does not detract from parenting score, I go by what we know of them while they were alive.) Apathy: Is this person concerned for their child’s well-being? Do they take any steps to ensure their child is safe or taken care of? Do they pursue their personal goals regardless of how it affects their kids? Unpleasantness: Is this person a warm, caring, or kind parent? Or are they cold, difficult, cranky, demanding, or otherwise unpleasant to be parented by? (Parents with hard or unpleasant personalities are not necessarily mean or cruel.) Active Malice: Does this person take steps or make plans to actively harm their child? Do they knowingly partake in actions that will likely result in harm to their child? Scheming: Does this person involve their children in convoluted schemes? Are these schemes for their own personal benefit, or are they somehow meant to help the child in some way? (Almost, but not all of these schemes end up being terrible ideas.) Other Victims: Does anybody else have their lives negatively impacted by this person’s parenting choices? These actions must be related to this person’s parenting or kids, not just shitty things they do to others. This does include people who are victimized by the screwed-up kid’s later activities. Mitigating Factors: Does the parent have a good reason for their choices? Or are their decisions a result of events out of their control? Audacity Multiplier: Special consideration is given to circumstances which are over-the-top, absurd, highly unlikely in a realistic setting, or otherwise “super anime.” EG: summoning ghosts, international politics, or international politics that involve summoning ghosts. 

As much as I joke about science and math, all rankings herein are heavily influenced by my own opinions. You are free to agree or disagree with my list (and I’d love to hear why!) Here are a few other factors that swayed my thinking, mostly in ranking characters within tiers:

Canon evidence is king. We all ASSUME Manfred von Karma was a rotten, awful dad in the day-to-day, but unless there is actual evidence to prove it, I don’t take headcanons into consideration.

Child abandonment is so prevalent in this series you have to dissect it further to get anywhere. I take into account why and how the kid was abandoned, how much control the parent had over the situation, and the parent’s motivations, if applicable. When you get to the very bottom of the list, I consider abandoning a kid less bad than ongoing cruelty or abuse towards them. 

Actions speak louder than words. I judge these folks by what they do (or do not do,) not what they or the narrative says they think or feel. 

Loving your children and being a horrible parent are not mutually exclusive. Plenty of the people on this list love their kids, but do a bad job of taking care of them. 

Loving your children and being a horrible PERSON are also not mutually exclusive. Many of these characters are otherwise nice, decent people. Several are absolute bastards who do awful things. For the purposes of this list, I am only taking into account their parenting and how they treat their kids. 

Without further ado, the unofficial Ace Attorney Parenting Tier List:

S Tier: SUPER Great Parents 

The best of the best (admittedly, the bar is very low.) But these parents are not only great, they are alive and present in their children’s lives, and those kids are thriving. 

Herlock Sholmes: Here he is, the best dad in the AA series. Sholmes gets an infant dumped in his lap by his deported bestie/boyfriend and proceeds to absolutely nail the parenting thing. Iris is safe, happy, well cared-for, and has her MD at age 10. Great DADtective is more like it. 

Phoenix Wright: Our series protag also has fatherhood thrust upon him (in the middle of a massive life crisis, no less) but he takes to it with gusto. I ranked him below Sholmes both because he didn’t have to care for Trucy as an infant, and because he condones her being something of a con artist. Trucy’s doing great, though, and her New Daddy is a massive upgrade from her old one. (But Phoenix, could you please tell her about her mother and half-brother already?) 

Damian Tenma: Damian’s just a big proud dad/pro wrestler willing to fake demonic possession and eat a murder conviction for his baby girl. Jinxie is a bit skittish due to growing up in a youkai-themed village, but I don’t take quirky or unusual upbringings into account if the kid is otherwise doing well. All these high tier good parents are pretty much on the same level, so the next few rankings come down to my whims. 

Justine Courtney: Single career woman taking in her orphaned cousin and raising him right. In the tumultuous world of child acting, John will benefit from having a protective, strong-willed mother keeping an eye on him. 

Plum and Winfed Kitaki: Yes, the literal yakuza outrank many of the other parents on this list. The Kitakis may have raised their son in the middle of a crime family, but they have now abandoned the glitz of the “family business” after the lifestyle nearly ended Wocky’s life. Winfred’s determination to pay for Wocky’s surgery with clean money is a refreshing bit of self-awareness and restraint, too. Your average AA parent would be committing sixteen murders or a couple poorly planned grand larcenies to get that money. Fun fact: the Kitakis are one of only two sets of married parents on this list. 

A Tier: Good Parents with an Asterisk (Probably Dead)

The folks in this tier are also by all accounts good parents. There’s just some mitigating factor keeping them out of the S tier– mostly, that they have been murdered and are dead and no longer able to parent. 

Dead parents in this tier had to have shown some sort of valiant, selfless, or just plain involved parenting before their demise. 

Gregory Edgeworth: Would be a high rank in S tier were he not sadly deceased and unable to raise Miles. By all accounts, ol’ Greg Edgeworth was a fantastic, thoughtful, sensitive father who made his son’s well-being a priority at all times. This includes potentially lying to the cops when he was channeled after DL-6. RIP Greg, in Dad Heaven now. 

Sister Bikini: Iris considers the delightful Bikini her mother, and believes Dahlia wouldn’t have ended up such a nightmare if Bikini raised her, too. Bikini’s asterisk is only because Iris spends much of her youth running around colluding in crimes, of which Bikini seems completely oblivious. (Where did you think Iris was going every day for eight months?)

Jeffrey Master: A nice dad who will do anything to protect his beloved foster daughter, Katherine. Her devotion to him is evidence of his excellent parenting. She’s also 16 when Jeffrey goes to prison on false charges, so his “abandonment” is negligible (and also out of his control.) 

Courtney Sithe: Maria is a bit strange and has some morbid interests, but a quirky upbringing is by no means a bad thing. Courtney’s shady dealings do not extend to her daughter, who is also in possession of a medical degree at a very young age. They do, however, seriously upset and disillusion Maria onscreen, and this is what keeps Courtney out of the S tier. 

Byrne Faraday: Single dad, obviously very attentive to Kay. The father-daughter promise notebook is very sweet and shows a high level of involvement. His death comes about due to unforeseen betrayal (and because he was secretly part of a three-person spy ring) but there is family available to care for Kay in his stead, which is honestly a rarity in this series. A contingency plan for your kid’s welfare? Instant A tier. 

Inga Karkhuul Khura'in: Proving that personal character does not factor into parenting skill, awful bastard tyrant Minister Inga is actually a doting, caring father. He genuinely adores Rayfa (who he knows is not his blood daughter) and none of his schemes and power-grabs involve her in any way. Though he is a total prick to absolutely everyone else, he’s warm to Rayfa and she clearly prefers him over her mother. It’s especially fascinating to compare him to Dhurke (who, spoilers, is going to be way, way, way near the bottom of this list.) 

Jove Justice: Alas, poor Jove. He doesn’t get much time to be a dad, but he was by all accounts a good one. Splits parenting duties fairly with Thalassa so they can both pursue their careers, and dies in the middle of saving infant Apollo from a fire (though he dies from murder, not from the fire.) I also want to give him props for getting Thalassa away from her own horrible father, albeit temporarily. Pour one out for Papa Justice, he was a real one. 

Iyesa Nosa: I would normally consider a dad caring for his infant son “bare minimum” parenting and not worthy of extra praise. But given the time period and expected gender roles in Japan at the time of GAA, Iyesa taking on childcare duties when his measly salary can’t afford it otherwise is notable. Good for him. 

B Tier: Bare Minimum Decent Parents

Parents who just like, do parent stuff for their kids without any wild circumstances or bizarre plots. Parents who don’t do any spectacularly negative things or whose parenting is unremarked upon either way also end up here. 

Ernest Amano: The man himself is an obnoxious wealthy scuzzball. He does throw his money around for the sake of his equally obnoxious son, though, so I guess that makes him your basic decent parent. Eat the rich. 

Lawrence “Moe” Curls: Moe’s daughter Larina is in the custody of her mother, who left Moe due to his failed clown career. He laments this state of affairs and worries how he’ll support her if the circus ends up closed. So Moe’s marriage is on the rocks and he pays child support, at the moment. Guy just seems to be in a rough patch, and hopefully his swap to ringmaster will help work things out. 

Metis Cykes: Athena mistakes her mother’s chilly demeanor and experimental devices for a lack of caring about her, but this is a misunderstanding. Metis was trying to help her daughter and always had her best interests in mind, but was perhaps just not the warmest or most emotionally open mother to her. It happens that way sometimes. Otherwise, no reason to think Metis was anything less than decent. 

Russell Berry: Regina is not the most well-adjusted teenage girl in the world, and Russell’s avoidance of conflict ends up tormenting Acro right off the rails. But apart from the recent tragedies, everyone speaks highly of Russell’s kindness, and he adopted Acro and Bat and raised them as his own sons. Good dad, if a tragically flawed one. 

Genshin Asogi: Genshin dips off to London on a study trip for six years, but Kazuma is old enough at the time to understand this and exchange correspondence with him. Genshin then gets absolutely turbofucked by the entire British judicial system, which is in no way his fault. I also think the way he sent the liberating evidence proving his innocence back to Japan was pretty cool. Anyway, an unfortunate case of a good dad getting totally screwed over. 

Amara Sigatar Khura’in: Amara is the victim of political machinations that make her think her own husband has betrayed her, and lives imprisoned under an alias. She raises Rayfa under this alias and seems to be a good and caring mother. However, her apparent callousness re: Nahyuta and the stunning naivety that lets her and her children get manipulated by her clearly evil sister for 20 years are worth a raised eyebrow. Getting pregnant while being actively hunted down by an oppressive regime is also pretty dumb. Amara, please learn to think for yourself and stop believing whatever the last thing that Ga’ran/Dhurke/Ga’ran told you.  

C Tier: Parental Redemption Arc

These parents were not great, made some not-great choices, or were involved in not-great circumstances. They are now trying to do better. Not always successfully, but they are trying. Parents who actively take steps towards doing better are ranked higher than those who just kind of say they’re going to (or the goddamn writers haven’t let them yet.) 

Yujin Mikotoba: Deep in the throes of grief, Yujin bailed on his newborn daughter and Watsoned around London for six years before being deported back into parenthood. He feels severely guilty for not existing in Susato’s life for all that time, and is now trying to make up for it by being an indulgent, supportive, feminist dad.

He still jacks it up here or there. Lying to Susato about being on his deathbed is pretty fucked up, but it is an attempt to protect her. And if we get into Kazuma and what Yujin does or does not know about that whole situation, things get even muddier. But he’s TRYING, which is more than I can say for a lot of these jerks. (I’m not counting baby you-know-who in here, because Yujin only had custody for a very short time and did indeed see the kid into capable, loving hands.) 

“Twice-Fired” Mason: His wife left him, took the kid, and changed their surname to escape their miserable impoverished lifestyle. It seems Mason was more or less a deadbeat until Ashley re-established contact with him– albeit, so Mason could help him with a dangerous criminal conspiracy. Sensing trouble, Mason tries to intervene on his son’s behalf and ends up dead for it. Ashley’s proceeding actions (which I gotta say, are pretty metal) prove there was some fondness between father and son, but Mason’s life was cut short before they got the chance to fully reconcile. Bummer. 

Colin Devorae: Another falsely convicted dad. Colin escapes from prison, goes into hiding working for the Amanos, and conveniently reunites with his daughter Lauren when she starts dating Lance. Colin uses this situation to watch over his daughter, but for some reason chooses not to tell Lauren who he is– info then used to blackmail him into doing crimes for Lance. Halfway through crimes, after Lauren is already involved, Colin tries to murder Lance to… prevent Lauren from doing crimes? What the hell is this timing, dude? He’s like half a bead off from actually protecting Lauren at any given moment. He also gets pointlessly shot and dies for this. C for effort, I guess. 

Di-Jun Huang: Zheng-Fa President Huang was not aware he was a dad, but once he was informed about his love child he had every intention of taking responsibility. Unfortunately, he was assassinated before he ever got to do this. Huang is an edge case as far as my eligibility rules go, but his kid is actually born and he takes obvious steps showing he’s going to step up. That’s enough canon info to place him here. 

Thalassa Gramarye: Thalassa holds the dubious honor of losing not one, but TWO children in spectacularly dramatic fashion, neither of which were her fault at all. It is entirely understandable how she could lose track of Apollo, given the chaos in Khura’in after the coup. It’s also not her fault that her own shitbag father chooses to use her near-fatal accident as an opportunity to be an asshole. However, it is probably about time that Thalassa comes forward to Apollo and Trucy. It’s been like three years and I’m not sure what she’s waiting for. Even the credits of SoJ think so. C’mon girl, get to it. 

D Tier: Questionable/Criminal Parenting

Oh, now we’re getting spicy. These parents approach their duties with questionable or dysfunctional methods, up to and including using their children to do crimes. They are spared a lower tier by making an attempt to be decent, or at least not committing the spectacular fuckups of those below them. Yet.

Taifu Toneido: Maybe it was a quirk of being an old rakugo master, but being Taifu’s own kid seems like it was absolutely miserable. Geiru seems to think the only way to please him is to inherit his title, and she busts her ass to do so. The only acknowledgement she receives is worded like “you suck at this and you’ll never be my heir” when he allegedly means it more like “I can tell this isn’t where your passion lies and I want you to follow your own path.” He is so bad at relaying this idea that Geiru snaps and murders him quite brutally in a fit of pique. This is why it’s important for us to use our words, kids. Being cryptic gets you murdered by clown tits. EDIT/CORRECTION:  Okay, can you tell I only played Turnabout Storyteller one time? I completely forgot that Taifu Toneido is not Geiru’s father, her father is dead and Taifu inherited the rights to the name “Uendo Toneido” from him. Whoops. Either way, he sounds like a really obnoxious master, so he can stay here in spirit. 

Drew Misham: Drew starts off a decent dad, but chooses to use Vera’s prodigal artistic talent to create forgeries. Then he makes the quite literally fatal error of doing this for Kristoph Gavin. He is so terrified that Kristoph is going to show up and murder them that he goes full agoraphobic shut-in and cripples the already traumatized Vera’s social skills. Drew is absolutely correct to be afraid of Kristoph– but none of this would have happened if he didn’t decide to use his daughter for crimes in the first place. Womp womp. 

Ga’ran Sigatar Khura’in: Ga’ran keeps Rayfa around mostly as a bargaining chip to use against her sister and nephew– it is made very clear that she’ll destroy Rayfa’s life if either of them step a foot out of line. She’s also cold, demanding, and unpleasable to the point where Rayfa clearly prefers her father.

Ga’ran does, however, put on a motherly facade and allows Rayfa to be comfortable and well cared-for, which is the only saving grace that keeps her from E tier or lower. Her lust for power and cruel actions are separate from her actual parenting ability, though they do deprive several other characters of their good parents (still doesn’t count, though.)

Notably, apart from the Kitakis, Ga’ran and Inga are the only married parents on this list. Unlike the Kitakis, they absolutely hate each other. 

E Tier: Oh My God These Kids Need Therapy

Now we’re really in the dumpster. The people in this tier are either callous, cruel, spectacularly neglectful, or perform such outrageously fucked up actions that we can definitively say they are all awful parents. Some of these kids are so jacked up that they go on to victimize others– and the ones that don’t will definitely need the aid of a good therapist somewhere down the line. 

This is where the audacity factor comes in. Some of these characters do such wild and dramatic things that it’s very difficult to compare them to more mundane bad parenting in the examples above. 

Dane Gustavia: Gustavia’s complete and utter apathy at the disappearance of his kid is truly something to behold. Like man, this guy did not care at ALL when his son was traumatically kidnapped and vanished in the aftermath. This shocking neglect also creates one of the most fucked up monsters in the entirety of AA, who goes on to ruin the lives of multiple other people.

So why does Gustavia get to sit at the top of this tier? Because his parental carelessness is a one-time thing. He cares so little for his son that once he makes the choice to abandon him, he never gives another thought to the kid ever again. Other E tier residents screw up multiple kids, or make multiple bad decisions that I find more impressively galling. But make no mistake, the drop between Ga’ran up in D tier and Gustavia down here is MASSIVE. This guy’s an absolute prick. 

Pierre Hoquet/Isaac Dover: AAI2 may as well have the subtitle “Ballad of the Bad Dads.” Pierre also screws up his son in spectacular fashion, but easily plummets down the ranks for masterminding the child kidnapping scheme. Commanding your weeping, pleading little boy to imprison his best friend and himself in a car where the two of them nearly freeze to death is certainly one way to win an episode of Top Chef. This situation is so fucked up I’m also docking Pierre for child abandonment, when he would normally be excused for that on account of being murdered. Absolute yikesburger.

Misty Fey: Perhaps a controversial position for her, but I did write an entire post about what a garbage mom Misty is. To summarize: disappears for 17 years due to perceived wound to family pride. Zero contact with daughters, even when one of them is murdered and the other goes through numerous traumatic situations which all make the news. Comes out of hiding to plan and participate in the nutty Hazakura  murder prevention plot, which is a terrible idea on all fronts– but Misty agrees to it because it means she doesn’t have to face or talk to Maya (which she has no intention of doing. Ever.) The entire plot of Bridge to the Turnabout is just as much her fault as anyone else’s. There is also the bit where she tries to deal with a spirit trying to kill her daughter by BECOMING the spirit trying to kill her daughter.

Misty truly sucks at this, but I rank her worse than Hoquet and Gustavia because when they abandon their kids, it’s into the foster care system–  meanwhile Misty abandons her 12 and 2-year-old daughters in the custody of the sister who openly hates her and covets her legacy. Why not just leave Mia and Maya in a snakepit? The snakes might not be venomous, but Morgan Fey definitely is. 

What’s really sad is that the time and opportunity Misty had to get over herself and come back into her daughter’s lives is huge. She had 17 years and every chance in the world to do better, and she doesn’t. She never intended to. Her situation is resolvable, the tragedy is all preventable, and she lets it perpetuate for her stupid pride. 

Misty claims she “never stopped thinking” about her daughters, and god damn that picture in her talisman makes me cry every time. But my tears have not blinded me to the fact that holy shit, she’s a horrible mother. 

Dhurke Sahdmadhi: Another previous guest star on my blog. Dhurke is a noble person and a charming guy, and it honestly pains me to rank him below the likes of the AAI2 chef dads. Alas, the problem with Dhurke has to do with scale. The stakes in SoJ are ludicrously high, so when Dhurke fucks up his kids, it’s on like… an international level.

Being a wanted fugitive framed for a coup is not Dhurke’s fault, but again and again, he prioritizes his rebellion over the safety and well-being of his children. Note the plural, because Dhurke also screws up with ALL THREE of his kids. Because the revolution is “not his problem,” Dhurke abandons a 9-year-old Apollo in America (a country he has no memories nor cultural knowledge of.) He neglects to send Nahyuta along too, and he ends up right in the government meat grinder, breaking his spirit and turning him into a puppet of Ga’ran. He conceives Rayfa while on the lam, handing Ga’ran yet more collateral to hold over Nahyuta and Amara. And when he finally goes back to find Apollo, it’s to drag him kicking and screaming into the revolution, and a situation in which he will be executed if he fails. Apollo has every right to be pissed at him, and Nahyuta gets completely robbed of his own chance to be.

Dhurke is portrayed as a heroic and tragic figure who will do anything to protect his kids, but the latter claim falls apart with even the slightest bit of scrutiny. He means well and he may be trying his best, but good grief, Dhurke, your best absolutely blows. 

Shadi Enigmar/Zak Gramarye: Abandonment of your daughter is one thing. The premeditated abandonment of your daughter that you orchestrate by tricking her into thinking it’s her first magic show is quite another. Zak is ready to ditch Trucy and peace the fuck out LONG before the tide in the courtroom turns against him, and makes no attempt to ensure she’ll be taken care of once he bounces.

The apathy alone would score him low, but Zak comes back for the malice points seven years later, aiming to destroy Phoenix’s reputation. You know, Phoenix. The man who is feeding and caring for his daughter. Why? I don’t know, pure spite? God, this guy is such a dick. I kind of don’t blame Kristoph for bashing his brains out. 

Magnifi Gramarye: What the fuck is wrong with the Gramaryes? Magnifi was a world class asshole, impossible to please, and a nightmare to work for. But he wouldn’t be on this list if his shittery didn’t also include his daughter Thalassa. When she is shot in an accident during a rehearsal, Magnifi decides to take those lemons and make some lemonade– he lies about her “death” to threaten and blackmail his two apprentices, Valant and Zak (the latter of whom is also Thalassa’s husband. And also a jerk, but this is his wife, dude.) Meanwhile, he dumps his blind, amnesiac daughter off the back of the tour bus so hard she ends up a European pop star. How in the hell does that happen? Absolutely stunning.

If we counted his myriad apprentices as his kids, Magnifi would rank even lower on this list, because they’re still coming out of the woodwork pissed at him and seething for vengeance a decade after his death. 

Manfred von Karma: What really makes ol’ Manny stand out from the crowd is the time and effort that goes into his bullshit. Adopting your rival’s orphaned son so you can raise him wrong as a joke and then frame him for murder twice over fifteen years later is a plan so petty, so devious, and so prolonged in its cruelty that it’s instantly a finalist for the Worst Father in Ace Attorney.

However.

After much deliberation, I can’t actually give Von Karma that title. Why? Because his sinister parenting was only targeted at Edgeworth, and did not necessarily manifest in mundane, everyday cruelty. I have no doubt that having Manfred von Karma for a dad is an intimidating and harrowing experience. He’s absolutely strict and domineering, and Franziska certainly has an inferiority complex- but there’s no canon information that Manfred was abusive to her or the unknown other VK kid at all. (One of the anime episodes even shows him being quite indulgent, if not a bit cold and stuffy.) We don’t know that he was openly mean to Edgeworth either, for that matter.

Don’t get me wrong, this is in no way a defense of him. The fifteen-year long game to ruin Edgeworth’s life because his dad got him written up at work is truly unhinged and over-the-top evil. Only on this ranking is it “better” that you only have sinister plans for one of your three kids, and Manfred is a truly magnificent example of an awful, awful father– but there is one AA Dad who’s even worse. 

Also, please note that if this ranking was allowed to include all of the lives ruined by all of a character’s actions, Manfred von Karma easily takes the gold medal grand prize. I didn’t forget about DL-6, Manny, and neither did anyone else in this traumatized canon. 

F Tier: The Worst of the Worst

Reserved for the absolute worst father and worst mother in the series. 

Blaise Debeste: Absolute bastard, completely unpleasant in every aspect of his personality and character design. What lands Blaise down here beneath all these other atrocious dads is the explicit, onscreen verbal abuse he hurls at Sebastian at every given opportunity. Manfred von Karma makes cruel plans for his adoptive son, but we don’t see him degrading his confidence and calling him names. Other dads may abandon their kids without a thought, but at least those kids have a chance to get away from their shitty parents– Sebastian is stuck with Blaise, who is also implied to have “disappeared” his own wife, depriving him of his mother too. No other father in this series cares less and treats their kid with the same open contempt as Blaise Debeste, and that is why he gets the crown for Worst Dad. 

But there’s still one parent worse than him. 

Morgan Fey: With the given criteria, nobody else comes close. Morgan is bitter, spiteful, selfish, and cares nothing for her children beyond how they can help her reclaim the Kurain Master’s seat. When her twins Dahlia and Iris cannot, she gets rid of them (there’s some conflicting info whether Morgan gave them up or Mr. Hawthorne took them away from her– either way, Morgan doesn’t give a shit since neither of them have much spiritual power.) When Pearl turns out to have strong powers, the poor kid becomes the linchpin of all Morgan’s plans. She smothers Pearl and keeps her confined to Kurain Village, restricting who she talks to and what she learns (she can barely read and knows very little basic knowledge you would expect of a girl her age.) When Morgan’s first scheme to get rid of Maya fails and she’s arrested, she comes up with an even worse one.

The Hazakura murder plot is a grand culmination of Morgan’s spite, her selfish pride, and the way she views her daughters like tools– tricking an unwitting Pearl into summoning Dahlia to murder her cousin, then pinning all the blame on Iris. Sending Iris down for murder is pretty outrageous on its own, but turning her sweet, trusting 9-year-old into a murderer by proxy is whole new levels of twisted. (Dahlia also alludes that Morgan was planning to kill her– perhaps suggesting that if she had not been on death row, Morgan would off her for the sole purpose of this dumb plan.)

Every one of Morgan’s evil actions is directly tied to her children – and all of this is without including Mia and Maya, who were 12 and 2 when abandoned into Morgan’s custody. In case you need a refresher, she’s openly hostile to Maya, tries to frame her for murder and then tries to straight-up murder her.

As if all that wasn’t enough, Morgan’s monstrous parenting also gives rise to Dahlia, the second most prolific murderer in the trilogy, who ruins the lives of four additional people and almost takes out Phoenix Wright as well. 

So congratulations to Morgan Fey, not only the Worst Mother in the series, but the absolute nadir in this cavalcade of bad parenting. By a long shot.

Quick Edit: One small revision, swapped two people. See if you can guess who. 

#ace attorney #ace attorney parenting tier list #ace attorney parenting #there are way too many characters to tag on here #so i'll stick with the stars of the show #misty fey #morgan fey #manfred von karma #dhurke sahdmadhi #blaise debeste #basically every character from aai2 #phoenix wright #gregory edgeworth #herlock sholmes #and more!!! #this took me like three days but it was very fun #ace attorney meta #the moral of the story is don't have kids unless you want them and are ready for them #also please don't use them to commit crimes

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What about Charles just posting his girlfriend (Toto’s daughter) on her birthday, and he gets her like a bunch of expensive gifts and all the drivers make their own posts cause everyone really likes her?

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it's grid princess y/n wolff's birthday - also known as an f1 national holiday

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lewishamilton: happy birthday little sister - another year of causing chaos and giving toto a heart attack every three working days

view all 81,756 comments

user89 i love their sibling relationship

mercedesamgf1 our favourites (and george)

yourusername awww love you lew xx

pierregasly

liked by yukitsunoda0511, yourusername and 541,234 others

tagged: yourusername

pierregasly: happy birthday to my favourite member of our weird triangle - please share the gifts charles got you i picked most of them out

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user45 this weird platonic throuple is my favourite thing ever

yourusername i love you and thank you but stop kissing my bf

yukistunoda0511 happy birthday y/n !! BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CHEATED ON ME PIERRE ???

user66 the domestic in this comment section right now

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 611,203 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my favourite drinking partner let’s never get so drunk that we get locked on the balcony and have to get charles to let us back in

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yourusername you said we'd never bring that night up again (thank you for the gifts xx)

charles_leclerc keep bringing it up max cause i still haven't recovered from the jumpscare of you guys on the balcony on a random matress

user67 i love how y/n and charles brought charles and max back together defo an underrated friendship

alexalbon

liked by lilymunhe, yourusername and 112,098 others

tagged: yourusername

alexalbon: happy birthday to the only one the albon pets actually likes !! hope you enjoyed the mouse horsey caught for you

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yourusername it was my favourite gift obvs xx

charles_leclerc i literally brought you everything you ever mentioned wanting

yourusername horsey committed a federal crime for me sharl

georgerussell63 you're telling me they never loved me ???

alexalbon they tolerated you

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 321,086 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: haps baps to my dj mom and the only person as bad as me at putting furniture together enjoy the ikea cabinet i got you

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user321 that stream of them trying to put the most simple thing from ikea together was the funniest thing i've ever seen

yourusername thank you so much lando (that's not coming out of the box until dad visits)

user459 of course she was the one teaching him to dj

martingarrix am i joke to you?

mickschumacher

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 439,667 others

tagged: yourusername

mickschumacher: happiest of birthdays to my travel partner - thank you for always looking after my passport and i hope you enjoy the holiday i managed to book without your help for once !!

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user78 omg the return of mick and y/n travel vlogs???

yourusername i'm so so excited mickey thank yeww

charles_leclerc pls don't steal her for long

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 607,893 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: happy birthday champ - now i'm on permenant off season should we actually go on man v food??

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yourusername i'm so down for that

charles_leclerc easy for you to say you don't have to deal with you being sick in the car

danielricciardo lmao not my problem

yourusername

liked by f1, charles_leclerc and 2,093,144 others

yourusername: thank you all for making this birthday the best one yet + i love you so much charlie thank you for everything xx

note: thank you for the request lovely hope you liked it xx

#f1 #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc instagram edit #charles leclerc x reader

[papercranesandpride]

Happy aplatonic visibility day! Here are some reminders!

Not everyone feels platonic attraction

Not everyone has or wants friends

Aplatonics can still be social (I'm extremely social), but also a lot of us just don't have the same socialization needs as alloplatonics. If your first question for aplatonics is "how do you fulfill the need for socialization without friends?" please consider why you think that's something that everyone needs

Conversations and interactions with strangers and acquaintances can be just as meaningful and fulfilling as those with friends

Friendship, like any relationship, should require explicit consent and a conversation. Don't start referring to people as friends without discussing it first

Friend and bestie are not casual terms to say to anyone; ask for consent before you use them

Platonic does not mean non-romantic. It specifically refers to relationships between friends. If you want to say something without romantic intent, say you mean it non-romantically

Aspec means more than just aro and/or ace. Atertiaries are here too. That doesn't just mean aplatonics, but also afamilials, asensuals, anaesthetics/nonaesthetics, etc

Not all aspecs value friendship above all. Not all aspecs want QPRs

Not all aplatonics are aromantic. Not all aplatonics are loveless. Not all aplatonics are asexual. Not all aplatonics are afamilial

Anyway, have a lovely day my fellow apples! Don't forget that you can't commit crimes today without being caught

#aplatonic #apl #aplatonic visibility day #aplspec #aspec #aplatonic pride #aplatonic spectrum

[decolonize-the-left]

MMIW (Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women) is a human rights crisis of violence against Indigenous women in Canada and the United States

Quick facts:

4 of 5 Native women will experience violence

1/3 of Native women will experience sexual violence (and over 2/3 of that is committed by non-natives)

Murder is our 3rd leading cause of death

On some reservations MMIWG2S are murdered at 10x the national average rate

In general native women and girls are raped at twice the average national rate

According to a report by USA today, native women also go missing at the twice average national rate

Nearly all rapes are perpetuated by off reservations settlers who also face no legal repercussions (legal loopholes state you must be on tribal ground to be persecuted by tribal police and most don't stick sround)

Less than 1% of MMIW cases are logged

It's been awhile since I've since Ive posted about this, but it's a very important topic and one that's especially important to me right now.

Some of you following me have all the context clues but I'll say it plainly here on this post. My cousin is one of the many MMIW that have died awful deaths. I myself am one of the natives who've experiences violence and sexual violence. The article is right. I don't know a native who hasn't. And that shouldn't have to be our reality.

But it doesn't change without more support and we don't get support by keeping people in the dark. Unfortunately resources are directly tied to public interest in an issue. The actual MMIW site for example says it's on hiatus when you go to the resource section.

So please share this so that someone else can learn and become an ally to the cause. The way people treat native women, girls, and two spirits is awful and deserves more attention than it's getting.

May 5th is MMIW awareness day; please wear red, share our posts, schedule a vigil, make your own graphics/posts in support, etc. Make some time to show you care that day.

Just don't use the red hand over your mouth, this is representative of the violent silence MMIW are forced to keep in their graves and how those of us alive must speak for them. Its a heavy symbol that carries responsibility so it's best left alone if you aren't indigenous.

#MMIW #mmiwg2s #usa #canda #turtle island #search the landfill #feminism #feminists #equality #misogyny #ndn #first nations #native American #human rights #mmiw epidemic #reposting this may 5 #may 5 #mmiw day #schedule this post #tw #decolstw

[muchosbesitos]

I need a fic about Miguel lusting after nurse fem!reader! I imagine he got hurt around her apartment and being that he is Spider-Man and she is a nurse she decides to take him into her apartment and fix him up. She is so caring and kind to he and this starts to become a thing where spider-man gets her to heal him.

So Miguel never reveals his identity to her but he’s like falling hard for her. Like thinking about her all the time (especially when he is in the shower lol). Let’s say one day he’s feeling like a little under the weather so he decides to go to where she works to get a check up and medicine (and hopefully to see her outside of his costume for once) so when he finally sees her he’s trying to charm her flirt a bit like he does when he’s behind the mask, but she is not having it. She acts cold and disinterested because one, guys flirt with nurses all the time and two, she has feelings for spider-man. Then you can do what you want with the ending but I would like if they get together in the end maybe you can squeeze some NSFW in there. Honestly this might make a pretty cute series!

little nurse

pairing: miguel o’hara x nurse fem reader

contents: mentions of blood/injuries and masturbation (m)

author’s note: decided to split this up into two parts, i hope you don’t mind :) very limited medical knowledge btw (one szn of grey’s anatomy and dr mike accounting for that 😖)

word count: 4.1K

Miguel O'Hara appeared in your life out of thin air. Literally.

You were trudging home from work around eleven at night, your scrubs smelling like disinfectant and dark circles adorning your under eyes. You'd been looking forward to taking a shower and getting as much sleep as you could before your next shift, your plans completely shifting when someone dropped in front of you. A masked man landed in front of you, clad in a Spider-Man costume. The sleep that you were longing for quickly faded away, replaced by a feeling of concern as you kneeled over to see if he had fractured his spine or his head with the fall. "How many fingers am I holding up?" You asked, holding up three as you waited for some kind of assurance that he was awake.

After receiving no response from the man, you dragged him into your apartment to work on him inside. You were grateful to whatever entity there was above that you lived in a downstairs apartment, the task of taking the man inside proving more difficult than you'd originally thought. You let out a small huff as you dragged him onto the rug in the center of your living room, shutting the door afterwards. You looked down at the man, almost tempted to take off the mask and reveal who was underneath the Spider-Man mask. After more careful consideration, you decided that it probably wasn't the best idea while he was in such a vulnerable position and grabbed your phone from your purse.

You'd gotten some old blouses that you were planning on throwing away, using them as a tourniquet around his stomach to stop the bleeding. You pressed two fingers to his neck to try to feel for a pulse, a bit slow but at a steady rhythm. After making sure his heartbeat was stable, you pressed your head down to your chest to listen for his breathing, the sound coming out ragged. "Stay with me, please," you silently whispered as your bloody fingers typed away at your phone screen, opening up the phone app. You'd finished up typing up the final one of the emergency number, a large gloved hand stopping you from answering the dispatcher on the other line.

"No, no. Please don't do that," the masked man underneath you pleaded as he slowly started to regain consciousness. You were made aware that not only would he run the risk of getting his identity exposed, but he'd also run the risk of having the nypd arrest him for the crimes he's committed as a vigilante. "Now do you understand why I can't go to the hospital?" He asked, almost like he wanted to make sure what stood at stake for him. "Okay, I'll trust you for now. But if you start bleeding out in my living room, then I'll take you to the hospital. Does that sound good?" You answered reluctantly, watching as he nodded.

You grabbed some gloves from one of your kitchen drawers, kneeling down next to him as you reached for the zipper on the back. "Do you mind if I take this off?" You asked, wanting to get his approval before you got started on anything. "Whatever you need to do to me, doc," he answered, sitting a bit up so you could reach the zipper better. You zipped down his suit, pulling it off his arms and sliding it down to his stomach. "How's your head? You hit it pretty hard when you fell," you asked him, wanting to get a better assessment of how his health was. You felt around his stomach, trying to find if there was any internal bleeding but you knew that the results would be more accurate with a CT scan.

"My head's fine, just a bit of blindness in my right eye," he deadpanned, your eyebrows practically shooting up to your hairline as you turned to look at him. "I'm joking, doc. I'm all good," he added, a small chuckle following after. "I'd smack you if your ribs weren't probably broken right now," you muttered, getting up from the floor to grab a suture kit from your bedroom. Only the sounds of his breathing could be heard as you worked on the large gashes covering most of his abdominal region, steady fingers working the needle through the thread to stop any further bleeding. You wiped away at some of the dried blood, cleaning him up to the best of your ability before pressing your hands down on his stomach to see if he had any further pain.

"I don't have any strong meds at my house, I only have Tylenol so I hope that works for you," you announced as you looked over at your medicine cabinet, surprisingly empty for the line of work that you'd chosen. "Give me the prognosis, doc. How long do I have to live?" he asked as you handed him the bottle of pills with a glass of a water. "I'm not a doctor, just a nurse. And I'd say a couple more minutes, if you're lucky. Might last longer if you don't annoy me as much," you teased him back, grabbing a couple bandages to finish up with the job. You wrapped them around the places where you placed the stitches, making him a little first aid kit just in case he'd need it. "If your stitches pop out or anything, just come back here. You know where I live."

He pulled the zipper back on, grabbing the first aid kit from you before he headed towards the door. "I'll see you next time I get hurt, little nurse," he told you, making it seem more like a promise than a goodbye. "Try not to make this a daily thing, please," you responded before he had the chance to leave, the eyes of his mask slightly raising. "I can't make any promises, lindura," he swung away after he finished speaking, sticking to the building in front of your apartment complex. You couldn't help but look out at him as he left, watching the way that he maneuvered the webs to the best of his ability despite the injuries that he'd sustained.

Miguel continued to seek you out as his nurse every time that he got hurt after that, enjoying the small banter and jokes between the two of you. Getting to be around you once more felt like the highlight of every fight that he got into, the assurance that you would be there to patch him up giving him the motivation that he needed to get up and fight crime. Despite the small jabs that you took at him, you proved to care about him time and time again with each wound that you treated. You never asked him any questions about his identity, never made him out to be anything bigger than what he had to be. Despite the fact that he wore the mask around you, he'd never felt more exposed around a human being in his life before.

Miguel found himself to be distracted by the thought of just seeing you again, constantly. He found himself wanting to get hurt just so he'd have an excuse to need your assistance, to have your soft hands running across his flesh as you stitched him up. His attention wasn't diverted only when he was dressed up as Spider-Man, the affection that he held towards you following him all the way to the lab he worked at. He'd mixed up two chemicals that he shouldn't have, causing a negative reaction in one of the rats that he was testing on and having to discard his experiment completely. "Focus, O'Hara. We're not here to pick up after your messes," his co-worker and superior, Aaron Delgato, told him during lunchtime with that same stupid smug expression he always carried on his face.

Normally, Miguel would've had something to respond back with but he couldn't find it in him to care that much at the moment. "Yeah, yeah," he ended up muttering back, pushing away his concerns as he sipped at the bitter coffee from the cafeteria. Normally the bitter taste of the coffee would've made him spit out the substance, the taste becoming slightly better when you were at the forefront of his mind. Instead of throwing it away after the first sip, he ended up taking a couple more sips before throwing it away in the sink. He spent the day at work focusing on his reports, having to stay a bit later to make up for the work that he'd messed up earlier just so he wouldn't have to deal with Aaron's condescending comments and stupid smirk as he questioned Miguel's ability to work the job he did.

He got home at around 6:30, two hours after his shift ended. The sound of door closing echoed throughout the empty halls of his home, the environment completely devoid of anything homely apart from a couple pictures and a bookshelf full of scientific journals that he'd enjoyed. He stripped away from his clothes once he got into his bedroom, wanting to remove himself from the lab as much as possible. He got into the shower before he had to head out for his vigilante duties, knowing that he knew would be too tired to do so when he got back home. The cold stream of water hit his muscles as he stood underneath, putting his forehead against the cold tiles of the wall. He felt depraved as he thought about you while he stood here, feeling himself grow more and more ashamed as he resisted the urge to wrap his hand around his cock.

Eventually, he ended up giving into his desires and wrapped his fingers tightly around his cock. He closed his eyes to help him envision a scenario with you, his mind running through with images of you underneath him. His grip on his cock tightened, wanting to replicate the feeling of what your cunt would feel like. He smeared some of the precum leaking out of his tip all around his shaft with his thumb, letting out a small hiss as he felt himself growing more aroused with every second that passed. He started off slow, wanting to prolong this orgasm as much as possible.

He pictured you starting off by sticking your tongue out for him as you sat on your knees underneath him, doe eyes looking at him expectantly as your hand wrapped around the base of his cock. Your mouth would engulf around the tip of his cock, swirling your tongue around it to capture every drop of precum that leaked out. His thumb ran around his tip to simulate every aspect of his scenario, precum sticking to his fingers as he did. He couldn't help but think about how beautiful you would look as you struggled to adjust to the feeling of his cock around your mouth, tears threatening to leak through as you fought off the urge to gag. "Oh shock, keep going," he moaned out, almost feeling like you were in the room with him.

His hand moved faster around his cock, fingers wrapped tightly around his shaft as he tried to get himself off. His eyes remained closed as the cold water ran through his body, his mind still continuing with the scenario from earlier. He felt his cock twitch in his hand, picturing how you would look with ropes of cum splattered onto your face. His release was more uneventful than he'd expected it to be, hit with the clarity of the situation immediately as the water washed the sticky substance from his hands. His forehead remained pressed against the shower wall, wanting to eliminate every negative thought that he'd been presented with. He felt perverted for taking advantage of you in this way, of taking advantage of the way that you were just so ready to help him out, but he couldn't help but feel his desire for you grow even more with every smile that you gave him.

He got out of the shower a couple minutes later, taking a few moments to reflect on what he'd done before finishing up with the rest of his shower routine. "Did you finish making the final adjustments to my suit?" He asked as his hologram assistant appeared next to him, a towel wrapped around his waist as he walked to the closet. "I did. You should find the material to be a bit more durable than the one that you previously used. Though the news reports show that it's going to be close to freezing so I would recommend for you to stay home," LYLA responded, before giving him the detailed report of what she'd done to his suit. "Crime doesn't stop just because it's a little cold. I'm sure I'll be fine," he muttered, grabbing the suit hanging up on the back of his closet.

Miguel shivered as he sat on top of a rooftop, overlooking the city as he waited for something to happen. He would have to make a mental note to add some insulation to the redesign of his suit, finding every minute outside to be excruciating. He removed the bottom part of his mask, blowing onto his bare hands as he rubbed them together. His feet swung on the edge of the building, ears perked up as he tried to listen in on conversations to discern whether anybody actually needed his help tonight. He was about to leave for the night around 30 minutes later, his plans getting stopped when he heard a lady scream across the street.

Miguel handed the purse back to the lady who was getting robbed, fighting the thugs that had tried to rob her proving to be the most exciting thing that happened all night. "Thank you Spider-Man!" The woman called out as he swung away, receiving a curt nod in response before he swung away. He ended up having to fight a couple low-grade robbers and car-jackers, nothing too big for the night. He got back home after finishing up the mundane tasks, feeling himself shivering even as he was welcomed by the warmth of the fireplace in his living room. LYLA had already started with her remarks about how he probably ended doing himself more harm than good, getting shut off two minutes into her monologue. He stripped off his clothing, sitting down on his couch with his legs spread out as he tried to warm up.

Miguel let out a groggy moan as he got up to the sound of his alarm, rubbing his hand across his temples as he laid on the couch. He could hardly get up to go to the bathroom, finding himself unable to head into work today. "I need to call in sick today," Miguel mumbled into the phone, knowing that Aaron was probably rejoicing at his weakened state. "You already messed up the experiment and now you want to take the day off? You're really slacking here, O’Hara," aaron remarked with a small 'tsk', speaking just loud enough for anyone to be able to overhear their conversation. "I don’t see why I have to explain myself to you but I'm sick. The experiment's gonna end even more messed up if I do end up showing up," Miguel answered, a small cough coming out of his end almost on cue.

After getting the reluctant approval of Aaron to stay home, miguel made his way to his bedroom and snuggled underneath his blanket. "LYLA, set up an appointment for me tomorrow at the medical center downtown please," he asked his ai assistant, his words coming out raspy and hoarse. "Why would you want me to do that? I can give you a full health assessment and recommend the right types of medicine that you need, Way better than a doctor ever could," she responded, appearing next to him with a face mask and little nurse hat on. "If I wanted you to do that, I would've asked. Just set me the appointment please," he mumbled, reaching over on his bed stand to get a tissue. LYLA was about to protest once more, but decided to go ahead and do the task when she heard Miguel coughing once more.

Miguel spent most of the day in bed, sweating underneath his tiger blanket despite the fact that he felt himself shivering. He found out the hard way that Vaporub did not in fact cure every one of his aches, though his nose wasn't too stuffed up after using it. He got up around 6 pm when he felt his stomach grumble, walking over to the kitchen to make himself something to eat. He turned on the afternoon news, wanting to make sure there wasn't anything too bad threatening the city. He saw that there had been a couple reports of robberies around the city, leaving it up to the police since he wasn't sure how useful he would be with his nose running every minute. He turned off the tv and poured the chicken soup that had been brewing on the oven into plate, sitting down at the dinner table to have something to eat. All he could do for now was simply wait for what the doctor would prescribe him, a part of him hoping that he would be able to see you.

"Miguel O'Hara?" You called out, looking around the sickly people in the waiting room before a tall man stood up. "That's me," he responded, his sinuses clearly stuffed up as he spoke. You led him back into the rooms, walking to the treatment rooms as you looked through the clipboard. "It's been a while since you've been here so i'm gonna go ahead and update your medical file," you informed him, looking back at him as he nodded. You led him to a wall with a measure taped on it, grabbing a pen from one of the pockets of your scrubs. You were about to take his height, noticing that his figure loomed over the measure. Your eyes widened slightly, your mind rubbing through what you could possibly do.

You grabbed an extra measure from a drawer, grabbing a chair nearby before getting up on it to tape it up on the wall. "You could've asked me to do that, y'know? I wouldn't have minded doing a favor for such a pretty nurse," he mused as he looked up at you, his lips immediately pursing together at the dirty look that you shot him. You got off from the chair, looking up at the two measures taped together before counting the extra inches. "Alright, 6'9," you muttered to yourself, writing it down on the clipboard before motioning for him to step on the electronic scale next to the side. You took his weight after the machine stopped counting, writing down the results before leading him to his assigned treatment room.

You washed your hands at the sink, putting on a bit of hand sanitizer before putting on a pair of gloves. "What seems to be the problem?" You asked, wanting to get a synopsis of what he thought was wrong before you made any guesses. "The problem is that you haven't accepted a dinner invitation with me. I'm sure my cold would heal a lot faster if you did, just saying. Trust me, I'm also a doctor," he mused, relishing as you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. While you'd had your fair share of patients flirt with you, having to deal with their advances tested your patience bit by bit. The man in front of you wasn't exactly unattractive, but he didn't make you feel the same excitement that you felt every time that you saw Spider-Man. You folded your arms and looked at him, staying silent until he decided to divulge what had been bothering him.

"My nose's stuffed up, my chest feels like it's full of phloem, and I can't stop coughing up a lung," he responded, allowing you to get a glimpse of what was really bothering him. "It sounds like you just have a cold but I'll get your blood work done just to make sure that I get an accurate result," you told him, grabbing a small needle to prick him. Before he got the chance to tell you that the blood work wouldn't reveal much, you'd already collected the blood in a small tube. "The doctor will be right with you, Mr. O’Hara," he'd heard you say before the door closed, leaving him alone with the knowledge that you didn't feel the same way about him while he was unmasked.

The doctor came in and did what they were supposed to, taking his heartbeat and his temperature. "It seems like you just have a cold, Mr. O’Hara. Take some time to rest at home and don't overexert your body," the doctor had warned him, handing him a small paper with a prescription for what seemed to be cough syrup on it. He took the paper from the doctor, looking over at you with a small smile as you stepped into the room. The doctor handed the chart over to you, giving you a shortened explanation of what the diagnosis had been. You read over his chart, reaffirming what the doctor had already said before you dismissed him.

"I forgot to mention, your blood test came back inconclusive. I'm sure it was just the machine since it said it couldn't really identify you as fully human," you told him before he had the chance to leave, his figure looming over yours as he waited for you to finish speaking. "I hope you get your machine fixed soon. I'm sorry if i did something to damage it. By the way, are you certain that you don't want to say yes to that dinner I mentioned earlier?" He insisted with his previous offer, his hand lingering on the doorknob as he waited for your response. "I'm sure, thank you for the very kind offer," you reaffirmed, stepping out of the room once he'd walked out.

You headed to the back to talk with your friends, seeing Miguel at the hospital's pharmacy to get the cough syrup prescription filled. "I heard you rejected your patient's advances when he asked you out to dinner. This one's pretty cute and rich, so what happened?" Nurse Maya asked you, pretending to sift through some files just in case a doctor passed by. "Girl, you know she's obsessed over that Spider-Man guy. How's it been going treating him for free, anyways?" Your other friend, Nurse Valeria asked, looking up from her computer just to take note of your expression. You hated how easy the news travelled in the hospital, avoiding Miguel’s gaze as you turned to look at your two friends.

"It's been going decent, thank you. And there's nothing new to tell, Spider-Man hasn't been showing up to my house lately. I kinda have missing being his little nurse," you responded, watching as they both rolled your eyes. "Of course you had to go and fall in love with the masked psycho," Maya muttered before the three of you talked about something else. You couldn't help but laugh as Maya went through her recent dating dilemma, blissfully unaware to the fact that someone had been listening to your conversation while they were waiting for their prescription to be filled.

Miguel couldn't help the small smile that crossed his lips as he heard you speak about Spider-Man in the way that you did, speaking about his alter ego like a high school girl with a crush. "Mr. O'Hara?" The pharmacist behind the counter called out for what seemed to be the hundredth time, finally diverging his attention long enough from you to be able to do their job properly. "Thank you," Miguel mumbled awkwardly, the smile on his face quickly fading away as he paid for the cough syrup. He took a small spoonful of it in his car while he waited for the blue light to turn off, silently hoping that it would work and he could get back to fighting crime once more.

Though he felt a little discouraged at the way you'd shut him off with every flirting attempt that he made, he knew that at some level you had to feel some kind of attraction for him. His mind began coursing with different ideas of how to approach this situation, almost jealous of the way that you viewed his alternate ego. He started to wonder what it would be like if he was able to flirt with you the same way that he was able to as Spider-Man, what it would be like to have that confidence without the use of the mask. The way you spoke about him was almost endearing, the way that you described what it felt like to have Spider-Man come for your services and the way that you felt while you stitched him up. All that he knew is that he needed to come up with a solution about how to approach this crush for you and fast.

#muchosbesitos #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #miguel o’hara spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara across the spider verse #miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #smut #atsv miguel #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #miguel across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #spiderman atsv #spiderman #spiderman smut #atsv smut #miguel fanfic #miguel smut #miguel atsv #spiderman 2099 smut

[laineystein]

How do you make peace with the IDF storming into hospitals and UN schools? How do you make peace with the news that the IDF opened fire on Israeli citizens on October 7th? Why do the Palestinians deserve to be chased out of their homes since 1948? Do you know about Rachel Corrie? Do you know that the IDF has killed a record breaking amount of journalists? I don't understand how you can be so close to this tragedy and act like it is anything other than genocide.

You make peace when you understand international law and learn that the only war crimes being committed are being committed by Hamas. We’re not storming hospitals or schools. International law also states that as soon as a faction begins using an area for military purposes, it is no longer protected. It is no longer a “civilian” area, even if civilians still reside there. So many sources (that notably hate Israel and Jews) have come out confirming that Al Shifa is Hamas HQ. Many sources have come out confirming that Hamas is using schools to store weapons and indoctrinate children *and* that NGOs like the UN have turned a blind eye.

You make peace when you learn to educate yourself instead of falling victim to jihadist propaganda. The “Israelis killed their own people on October 7th” lie has been debunked. No sources could be found confirming that and the IDF and the Israel Police both came out saying that was factually inaccurate. If you know reporting out of those groups you know that when we’ve fucked up, we admit it. This was all a fabrication to excuse terrorism and continue to wrongfully demonize Israel.

You make peace when you deal with actual facts. There was a two-state solution planned before 1948 and then four countries attacked Israel and we defeated them all which lead to what y’all refer to as the Nakba. BUT!!! The Jewish population did not want their Arab neighbors to leave. Arab nations encouraged the Nakba. Arab nations have always used the plight of the Palestinian people to further their agenda of demonizing Israel in an attempt to eradicate it and kill Jews. But if we’re going to talk to about being expelled from your homes - Jewish families were expelled from Gaza in 2005 when we gave the land to the Palestinians. Do you care about that? Where are the Jews in Iraq? Yemen? Afghanistan? Syria? Sudan? Morocco? Feel free to talk about how those people were ethnically cleansed from those countries - but if that doesn’t interest you then your activism might be performative and you might just hate Jews.

I know it is not genocide because I’m so close to it. I spent all of last week ensuring the safe passage of Palestinians out of Gaza, into the South. I had Palestinians thank me. I administered aid to Palestinian children and the elderly. I watched them pray to Allah that Hamas would go away. What happened to my people on October 7th was an attempted genocide - something that Hamas has admitted to. What we are doing in Gaza is working to prevent a genocide, one of Hamas’ own doing.

Please read a book. Please get off social media. Please stop regurgitating lies fed to you by influencers and antisemites that did not care about this conflict before October 7th. You clearly need to be educated and messaging an IDF soldier on anon isn’t the way to do it. I have better shit to do. Yalla bye✌🏼

#⚔️🇮🇱 #the schmucket continues to grow in size #y’all have lost the plot

[f1version]

THERE’S ONLY ONE..COUCH ★ CS55

pairing: carlos sainz jr x fem!reader (she/her)

summary: You and Carlos have to sleep at Lando’s place after a party, but the guest room has no furniture, you have to sleep in the living room. So, there’s no ‘only one bed’… there’s only one couch.

warning: teasing, carlos speaking spanish.

word count: 1.5k (it's 1.555 and i love that)

note: this is my first “one shot” ever, i am SCARED. also asking for part two is allowed in this one lmao, tell me if you would like that :)

Three days ago, Lando Norris had won his first race in Formula 1 and because celebrations were never-ending to him, he had to do something with his closest friends two days after the big obnoxious party. That’s how you and Carlos ended up in Lando’s apartment in Monaco.

Now, the thing is, Lando was the one who bought the plane tickets, then sent them to you that morning, he was in a rush since you were his only guests who didn’t reside in Monaco. And you were also in a rush, so no return tickets or hotel. And even if you could afford a night in Monaco, you were still drunk-out-off-your-mind at this point.

So.

"Hey Lando, do you think that um... I stay the night? If it isn’t a bother, obviously.” You said, words collide with each other.

“Oh, of course, mate! I already told Carlos you guys could crash here.” Lando says with a new bottle of wine, you laugh at his drunk mannerisms. "But, the guest room has no furniture yet, so you have the couch or the floor.” the brunette explains.

"The couch is fine," Carlos answers behind you.

Lando raised an eyebrow "For you two?"

You understood the doubt, he was asking if you would be comfortable. The brit didn’t have that teasing tone when he sees couples interact. On that note, you exchanged glances with Carlos and he shrugged before nodding.

"Yes," you both said at the same time.

Charles choked on some wine, laughing. The Monegasque had been talking with Lando when you approached him. “Sorry, mate, I just like that they get along so well.” He clarifies and winks at you.

You rolled your eyes, Charles has been like this for months, insisting you should date Carlos, saying you both are far into each other. You tell him he is just your friend, you’re his engineer, but Charles Leclerc can be very stubborn.

“Yes, well, I think I'm going to the balcony for air, I'll see you later.” You babble and Charles lets out a big laugh. “Thank you again, Lan”

“I'm going with you.” Carlos says.

“What?”

"I'm going to take some air with you," Carlos explains to you and you nod, exiting the scene side by side, leaving behind Charles’ victorious smile and new gossip for Lando.

"I'm going to sleep on the floor," Carlos says as you approach the balcony.

“No, you won’t. You have media duty to attend this week, Carlitos, please.”

“I'll be fine, mujer!” he smiles, surrounding your shoulders with his arm “I've been doing it for a while now.”

“And that’s exactly why you shouldn't” you exclaim “If it bothers you, I'll take the floor.”

Carlos looks at you as if you just committed a crime and shakes his head. You laugh, snuggling a little into the Spaniard's arm, feeling warm and safe around him. Yeah, Carlos made you feel safe.

“Carlos, as part of the Ferrari team, I don't want you sleeping on the floor.” You complain, again.

You have been having this discussion for about three minutes. It was simple, Sainz said that he was used to it and you attacked, saying that there was room for both of you on the couch.

“Cariño, there is no room for both of us on the couch.” He repeats for the thousand time “Just lay down and sleep, I'm fine.”

"Sainz, stop it. There is enough room here, so you come to sleep here, where there is enough space, or I will make sure you can’t seat, rest or sleep in beds and couches for the rest of the season"

At that moment, Carlos turned to look at you with wide eyes, it was a funny statement, but he loved when you went all fearless for him.

Getting lost in his thoughts, Carlos gave you enough time to believe you had won the battle; so when he looked at you again, you already had a satisfied smile on your face, and he knew he had no way out.

Carlos sighed. "Okay, you win, just promise that you won't do that, please”

You looked at him tenderly and smiled. It was a peculiar smile, it was full of yearning and confessions. It wasn’t a smile you gave a lot, at least not to people who weren’t Carlos Sainz Jr. Oh, but Carlos was too blinded in his own fascination to notice.

“It’s okay, for now, I'll leave your furniture alone.”

After that, you shared a couple of laughs with the Spaniard before sitting on the sofa, moving the cushions aside, and putting down the pillows Lando gave you.

You lay down, turning to Carlos —whose eyes haven’t left you— making a small signal for him to lay down next to you.

The Spaniard approached quietly, laying down. And, it turns out, the couch wasn't as big as it looked, a quarter of Carlos's body was outside it, and it was somewhat uncomfortable.

"Hey, do you think you can move a little?" Carlos asked in a soft tone, to which you automatically agreed.

You both started to move and complain, because when you moved, he did, making you uncomfortable. You moved again. It was still messy.

This is how a few minutes passed between complaints and movement, at least before you fell directly on top of Carlos, after that, everything was silence, surprise, and closeness. Bodies so close you felt the other’s skin burn through your clothes.

You wanted to burn.

“I told you there wasn't enough space.” Carlos whispered, mockingly.

“Are you uncomfy?” You asked with annoyance, he shakes his head. "Then you're fine, I'm not uncomfy either."

For a moment, silence rules the room. Quiet enough to hear Carlos’ heart beating against his chest, you breathe deeply, so deeply that he feels it.

"You’re heart is racing, honey," you whisper, pet name slipping right through. You normally use it to joke around, and you think you are, but at some point it feels like you’re supposed to say it.

His eyes dart over your face, looking for something he knows he will find. “So it’s yours.”

You see it then. Gaze drowned in desire, pupils dilated just like yours. There’s also fear—fear of making the wrong move, of dooming something that has barely started.

You bring your fingers to Carlos’ face, caressing his jaw in the most delicate way you know.

“I want... Mi vida, can I kiss-” You don’t let him finish his question, your lips are on his.

Carlos holds you by the neck, bringing you closer. His face tilts slightly, kissing deeper. His tongue asks for permission to play with yours as butterflies find home in your stomach. You can feel Carlos melting from the taste of you, loving the feeling, the intimacy of the moment.

This felt so right yet so wrong. It was strange. One of his engineers and him. If any of the team knew, this could end bad, would bring a thousand problems, attention none of you wanted for each other. But they didn't know.

Carlos felt too good for it to be a bad thing.

He wants to kiss you for as long as you let him. He wants to pour his heart into every single one.

He wants it to last forever and that’s why splitting is the worst part of it. That moment when your body asks you for more, but needs to breathe. When it asks to be pleased, but can’t stop begging for mercy. You want his lips to be mercy. But you find air.

Carlos looks at you in fascination, his hands instinctively falling on your hips. Something stops him.

“Can I touch you?” He asks and you nod.

The Spaniard’s eyes sparkle, surrendering to intimacy. His fingers begin to slide down your curves, slow and fearful, trying to do everything not to disturb you. You who can’t be more eager.

“Your curves are… beautiful” He whispers, looking for the words he wanted, “So perfect.”

“Carlos,”

“Si, mi vida?” He whispers into your ear, biting the lobe gently. This small contact causes your back to arch slightly. Carlos speaks again “So, so, beautiful.”

“Carlos, please,” you beg, it was unnecessary to ask if you wanted to stop or continue.

"Oh, what I would do to you if we weren't at Lando’s place." That little innuendo seems to leave Carlos’ lips by accident, realization making his face burn.

You just smile. Wanting more, wanting his words to be spoken with promise.

“Want to know something, Sainz? We have a two-week break after this race, and I have no plans.” That makes Carlos smile, closing the gap between you once again. You wonder if it would actually happen, if it’s not you making empty promises.

“Then I’ll have to get you to Spain.” Carlos whispers, kissing your neck, finding comfort in it. “Good night, mi vida.”

“Good night, my love.”

translations:

linda pretty cariño sweetheart mi vida my life

#‎ “ ࣭⸰ ★ my writings ! #carlos sainz #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz f1 #carlos sainz 55 #carlos sainz one shot #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz blurb #carlos sainz drabble #carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz x you #formula 1 #f1 fic #f1 imagine #formula one #f1 #f1 ferrari #mentioned #lando norris #charles leclerc

[scarletlizzard]

Hummingbird

Pairing: wanda x reader (I don't think I used any pronouns in this? I could be wrong)

Tags: angst, fluff, alcohol (R has a bit of a drinking problem), R has powers

A/N: Hi anon 😊 Please forgive me for taking so long. I wrote this about 10 different ways before I could finally settle on one! I hope this is good enough and thank you thank you so much for the request 🩷🩷

Masterlist

As you sit in the pew in the middle of friends and other familiar faces, you smell the flowers that litter the alter, and listen to the quiet chatter as you feel a body sit next to you.

"Maximoff is getting married, huh?" Bucky asks, you remove your eyes from Wanda, who was standing at the alter, to your best friend.

"I guess so... finally," you say with a chuckle, looking down at your hands. You pick at the skin of your nails anxiously and think back to one of the first days you met the Maximoffs.

***

"Would you stop being so anti-social?" Natasha insists as she leans in the doorframe of your room. You remove your headphones with a pout on your face.

"I'm not being anti social, I'm just... here," you shrug and stand from your bed. She laughs and shakes her head, stepping inside.

"Ten minutes, or I'm dragging you down. If I have to be there, so do you," Natasha hits your shoulder playfully and rolls her eyes as you fake being hurt.

"Ten minutes!" She commands before heading back to the party.

With a sigh, you do as she says, changing into a dark pair of jeans and a plain white shirt. If you absolutely had to go, you would at least be comfortable. So ten minutes went by, and you found yourself, as always, at the bar in the large room filled with people. You recognized most of the people, the same ones who always show up to Tonys parties. As you sip your second drink though, the sight of the twins walking by catch your eyes.

You make eye contact with Wanda Maximoff, the witch who almost drove you to commit heinous crimes the day she put herself in your mind. She gives you a soft smile, and you have to look away because you want to hate her.

You don't want to feel a warmth spread in your chest as she looks at you with those gorgeous green eyes surrounded with dark makeup and those silver rings on her slender fingers and her long, smooth legs in that skirt and that beautiful smile and - fuck it.

"Maximoff," you say, suprising her and yourself as you had walked up to her with a drink still in hand. "How are you enjoying the life of an Avenger so far?" You ask and raise an eyebrow.

"Y/N!" She says with a small blush on her cheeks.

In the short time Wanda had been here, you were the person she wanted to get to know the most... you were also the one person who wouldn't give her a second look, at least not that she knew of. She couldn't believe you were standing here.

"I um, it's very different from what I'm used to," she says and smiles again. You might fall out right there if she does it again with the way your knees weaken.

"I bet it is," you sigh and take a sip of your drink. The two of you stand in silence for a moment. "It's kind of... distracting in here. Wanna go someplace and talk?" You ask. She looks up at you and nods.

You down the rest of your drink and sneak behind the bar, grabbing a bottle of whatever you could reach, which turned out to be tequila. Wanda giggled as you shrugged while reading the label on the bottle and hid it under your arm, telling her to follow you. You led her down a few hallways and up to a balcony, being far enough away that you could only hear a little bit of the muffled music.

"The stars are so bright tonight," you say as you sit on the edge, letting your feet dangle off of the side. Wanda follows suit and sits next to you, flattening her skirt. You take a sip from the bottle without a flinch, watching as she looks up at the sky.

"My brother and I used to try to count them when we were little," she laughs and takes the bottle as you hand it to her, sticking her tongue out and shivering after she takes a big sip.

"You would've been counting forever," you chuckle and feel your skin ignite as her shoulder touches yours.

"Thought we had forever," she says and looks to you. "Then on Sokovia when he got shot I-I thought he was gone." You furrow your brows, taking in her now saddened features.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. But hey, he's here, making shitty jokes and flirting with some girl from Shield," you try to joke, feeling that same warmth from earlier when a giggle leaves her lips.

"I'm the one who needs to apologize. I-" You interrupt her by holding up a hand, taking a big gulp from the bottle.

"Here's the thing. We've all done bad things, every single one of us," you nod in the direction of the party. "Including me... which you know obviously," you mumble and look away from her, thinking back to the feeling of her inside your head. "You do good, try to wipe it clean, you know? It's all we can do. Now what I'd really like is to finish the bottle and know all about you," you say with a smile and look to her again.

"You already know about me?" Wanda says and lifts her eyebrow as she takes another swig from the bottle. You shake your head.

"No, no. I want to know what makes you tick. Your favorite movies, shows, songs, your favorite thing to do on a rainy day. Why you wear so many rings," you laugh and point to the rings that adorn her fingers. She grins, and there goes that feeling again.

The two of you spend the entire night on that balcony, finishing the bottle and swapping stories about all your favorite things. There wasn't a cell in your body that could ever hate Wanda Maximoff.

Towards the end of the night, now early in the morning, in fit of laughter you lean too far over the balcony. Wanda gasps in fear as you fall forward.

"Y/N!" She gasps loudly, and you look to her scared reaction in suprise, looking around the two of you as if something had happened you were unaware of.

"What? What is it?" You ask as you stand still in the air, floating in front of her.

The hand that covered her mouth moved and revealed a drunken laugh that escaped her lips. She leans forward and punches your arm.

"I didn't know you could fly! I thought I'd have to jump off, and oh god," Wanda shakes her head and rubs her eyes. You give her a cheeky smile and continue to stand there mid-air effortlessly.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me," you shrug drunkenly and put your hands in your pockets.

"Oh yeah, like what, hummingbird ?" Wanda jokes, giving you the nickname before she watches you step through the air was if you were walking.

You stood directly in front of her now, face almost where hers was. "I happen to be a fantastic kisser," you say with a chuckle, your heart enjoying the smile on her lips and the blush on her cheeks.

"Is that so?" She questions, her tongue wetting her lips. You nod and lean in.

"I mean, you're more than welcome to prove me wrong..." You whisper, lips hovering over hers. When you look in her green eyes for any signal to stop or uneasiness, you find none. Her eyes flutter closed, and her breath hitches as you lean in and connect your lips.

Wandas hands move to wrap around your neck, her fingers tangling with the strands behind you while yours moved to her hips. It's a soft kiss at first with shy lips, but soon turns into a sloppy drunken kiss with not so shy tongue. She can taste the tequila on your tongue, with a hint of lime from your drink earlier. Wanda sighs into the kiss as the wind blows her hair and squints her closed eyes tighter as a bright light suddenly shines between the two of you.

You frown as you feel her lips disconnect from yours, and when you open your eyes, you see her emerald eyes widen, a golden tint highlighting her features in the darkness.

"Uh, Y/N? Do you usually um... glow?" Wanda asks, and it's your turn to blush. In the kiss, you had gotten lost in Wanda. The way her soft lips tasted against yours, the way her fingertips brushed the nape of your neck. You had forgotten to control yourself.

You realized you were holding onto Wanda, now high above the balcony, while a golden white light radiates off of you.

"Oh god, I-I'm sorry," you laugh and take her back down, landing gently back onto the balcony while no longer glowing. Wanda shook her head, nothing but amazed with you.

"No, that was.. that was perfect," she whispers and reaches up to cup your cheek. In your drunken state (you didn't know from what more the tequila or Wandas lips), she kisses you again, and you can't help the light that shines off of you.

After that night on the balcony, the two of you grew closer over time. You'd stay up late doing anything and everything to make her laugh. Wanda would sneak in your room and kiss you randomly in the middle of the night just to see if you'd let your guard down and shine for her. You always did.

"So what's going on with you and Maximoff?" Bucky asked one day during a training session. You punch the pad he was holding up and shrug.

"What do you mean?" You ask back casually and try to ignore the heat that rises on your cheeks.

"Right, right. So that wasn't you leaving her room this morning," he laughs and shakes his head, groaning as you punch the pad hard near his stomach while he is distracted.

You look over through the glass wall and see Wanda talking to Vision again. "I don't know, Buck. I really like her," you sigh and watch as she laughs. You turn back to your best friend.

"Then you need to tell her, before someone else does," he nods to the direction of Wanda and Vision, knowing what he meant.

You weren't the only one growing closer to Wanda, vying for her undivided attention. Vision had been there too, and it seemed like the pair were talking more and more. Though as far as you knew, she was only kissing you, and the smile on her face wasn't the same grin she always gave you. You had nothing to worry about. She would always pick you... at least that's what you thought.

The time came when you finally wanted to tell Wanda about your feelings, that you wanted more than stolen kisses in the moonlight. You approach her room, mumbling the words you had been practicing all night.

"It's fine, you're fine," you tell yourself. "Tell her how you feel, ask her on a date. She'll say, 'Of course, hummingbird'... you're fine," you continue to convince yourself.

You take a deep breath and see the door to her room cracked open. With a shaky hand, you go to knock, but pause when you hear two voices speaking. Curiosity getting the best of you, you lean closer to listen.

"Wanda... I know you feel it, too. We're connected somehow, in here," Vision says in a soft voice.

"I feel it too, all the time," she replies, and you can hear the smile on her face.

"So we can give this a try then? Us?" He asks her. Wanda is silent for a moment, and you feel your stomach rise into your throat, your heart beating out of your chest. She wouldn't. There was no way.

Don't say yes.

"Yes. I would love to," she says.

"And what about Y/N?" He asks her, tone clearly annoyed.

"We were just... having fun," she sighs, and you feel your heart break. You don't stay a second longer.

Wandas head turns to the door, almost sure in the corner of her eyes she sees a flash of light, but when she gets up to look in the hall, it's empty. You had retreated to the safety of your room and a bottle of whatever your hand touched first.

After that night, you avoid Wanda for as long as you can. Finding excuses to leave the room every time she enters, taking on extra missions with Natasha across seas, extra training sessions with Pietro, and you put in more time at the gym with Bucky. He didn't ask why your punches were almost knocking him down, but when he saw Vision holding Wandas hand, he knew why the gym was suddenly a golden hue.

Another night, another party, another drink.

The room was filled with familiar faces and similar music, another drink in your hand but a frown on your face as you glared at Visions hand on Wandas lower back. Great.

"Guess whose got another date?"

"Hmm, is it someone who can't take a punch?" You ask and sip your drink, turning in your chair to look at Pietro.

"Ha, ha. Very funny," he fake laughs and shakes his head. "You know some of us are lovers, not fighters," he laughs for real this time, and so do you.

"Well, when we're done training, we'll see where you stand. Things are going well with her, huh?" You ask him, nodding to the girl from Shield he had somehow won over with his cheesy jokes.

"Yeah, great, actually..." He turns to smile at her, giving her a small wave before turning back to you. "Hey, I bet she knows some more hot spies. Wanna go on a double date?" Pietro jokes and watches you sigh, eyeing the brunette and the synthazoid.

"Why not? Might as well," you slur your words a little and finish your drink, leaning over the bar to grab a bottle. "See you in the morning?"

"Yeah, see you then," he says and gives you a sad smile.

The campus was quiet now. Everyone had long gone to bed, and you decided what better company than the stars and a now almost empty bottle of vodka. Perks of being super, you could drink as much as you wanted while getting as drunk as you wanted, with no bad mornings after or alcohol poisonings.

You hear the sound of a door opening and closing, and you sigh, knowing it could only be one person.

Wandas body sits next to yours at the edge, shoulder to shoulder, feet dangling high above the ground. You don't say anything, because really, what did you have to say anymore?

"What's going on, Hummingbird? Pretty late for a flight," she tries to joke, eyeing the bottle that was in your hands.

"Nothing wrong with a little fresh air," you shrug and take a large swig from the bottle, subtly moving your shoulder away from hers. Wanda frowns at the feeling.

"You've been avoiding me... Wanna tell me why?" She asks in a soft voice. You let out a loud laugh, to which she furrows her brows in confusion.

"I'm sorry, it's just so fucking obvious isn't it?" You slur and jump off the balcony, pacing in the air in front of Wanda. It's not your actions that make her flinch, seeing you walk in the air was something she was accustomed to by now, it was the tone in your voice. You had never spoken to her like that before.

"Obviously not if I'm asking you," Wanda speaks, continuing her best to keep her tone soft with you. You stop in the air and look at her with red and glassy eyes.

"Obviously not," you repeat and watch as she gives you a sad look. Her fingers twirl the rings on her fingers anxiously.

"Y/N..."

"It wasn't just fun to me, Wanda," you interrupted her, watching her lips part in suprise. "It wasn't just some little crush, I wasn't just some second choice when you weren't getting enough attention from him. I thought we - " You stop yourself and look away from her, running a shaky hand through your hair. "I loved you."

Wanda was happy with Vision. She felt a connection to him that she couldn't understand... But when you spoke those words, she felt her world shatter right there.

"Loved?" She asks.

"Past tense," you mumble and turn your back to her, not wanting her to see the few tears that roll down your cheeks.

"It wasn't just fun I-"

"You said that to him, I heard you. Don't lie to me!" You slur again, this time raising your voice and feeling your body heat up.

"I'm not lying to you! It wasn't just fun for me, it was..." She sighs and wipes her eyes. "Y/N, you mean everything to me. But with him, I don't know how to explain it. I can't explain it..." Wanda lets her tears fall as she watches you shine brighter, hating the fact it wasn't out of joy. Hating the fact that you probably hated her.

"You can't say that I mean that much to you and still be with him." You finish the bottle and toss it casually onto the balcony away from her. It cracks in half against the wall, then shatters on the ground.

"Look, hummingbird... you're drunk. Let's talk about this in the morning when you're coherent. Just come inside with me, please? I know it's selfish, but I-I can't lose you," Wanda looks at your back with pleading eyes, extending her hand out to touch you.

"You already have. The day you chose him," you cry with a sniffle and finally turn to face her, seeing her sad, teary eyes shine in your golden brightness. You don't give her the chance to say anything else. Instead, you fly off, going as far away as possible.

***

"Suprised you came back for this," Bucky says and nudges your shoulder. Your hands nervously run over the creases in your pants.

"Well, I couldn't really miss this, could I?" You sigh and look up again, only this time you see Wanda is already looking at you. Her green eyes were wide with suprise, and you could make out a smile on her lips. You balled your fists up, willing yourself to control your powers and stay calm.

"No, I don't think any of us expected Pietro out of all people to get married before half of us," he laughs quietly. "It's good you're here, Y/N."

Your eyes move to Pietro, who nervously talks to Wanda. Her hands were fixing his bowtie and whispering what you assumed calming words to him. As the music started, she turned him around, eyes moving to you as the crowd stood.

As his bride walked down the aisle, your eyes stayed glued to Wanda. Even after all this time, she was still stunning, taking your breath away as she stood next to her brother. Of course, she was his best man.

Throughout the ceremony, Wanda would look to you occasionally, checking to make sure you hadn't flown away from her again. Each time you made eye contact, you gave her a reassuring smile, letting her know you wouldn't be going away this time.

At the reception, Wanda sat at a table, drinking a glass of champagne and watching her brother slow dance with her newly appointed sister in law. A body suddenly blocks her view, and when she looks up to see your face, her heart stops.

"May I have this dance?" You ask, extending your hand out to her. She blushes, and you're reminded again that you would literally do anything for her.

Wanda sets her glass down and reaches her hand out to take yours, just as soft as she remembered. You led her to the dance floor and rested your hands on her hips, letting her arms rest on your shoulders while her hands were entwined behind your neck.

"I like the red," you utter quietly, eyeing her soft auburn curls. She chuckles as the two of you begin to sway, the tension slightly awkward between the two of you.

"I dyed it a while ago.." Wanda shrugs casually.

"It's been a while since I've seen you," you add. She hums in response, looking into your clear eyes.

"I expected to find you at the bar..." She half jokes.

"I uh, I stopped drinking," you reply with a smile, to which she gives you a proud smile back and nods.

"That's fantastic, hummingbird," Wanda whispers and scrunches her nose. Your heart swells at the nickname you hadn't heard in too long.

"Listen, Wanda. I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of trying to better myself, my emotions. I'm sorry I didn't just... talk to you. I'm happy that you're happy," you say with a smile, and she knows you mean what you say by the way it reaches your eyes. "I don't want to miss out on being a part of your life... as long as he treats you well," you say jokingly at the end to ease the heaviness of your words, and you spin her slowly around.

She returns to her previous position with a grin and pulls you closer, taking in your words as you both sway to the song. Wanda had missed this, missed you more than anything else in the world. Being in your arms again, she felt happier than she had in a long time.

"You have nothing to apologize for... I'm sorry things happened the way they did. I should've talked to you too," Wanda says gently. "We aren't together, you know?"

"Oh?" You say, trying to hide the excitement in your stomach, but Wanda can see it in your eyes.

"Yeah," she giggles at your reaction. "Turns out we're connected through the mind stone... but that was about it. He didn't know what made me tick. Didn't care to know my favorite show or what I liked to do or a rainy day." Her tone is playful as she looks up to you, smile still bright on her lips.

"Dick Van Dyke, watching the rain drops race down the window. Even though you pick the losing drop every time," you answer and smile back. She rolls her eyes jokingly at the last part, but Wanda can't deny the way her heart sped in her chest that you still remembered.

"I meant what I said that day... you mean everything to me, Y/N. You still do," her tone is serious, and you nod as you gaze into her eyes.

"I lied to you that day..." You whisper, watching her smile begin to fade. "I've never stopped loving you."

You lean down, face close to hers as your heart beats on your ribs like a butterfly trapped in a cage. Her eyes search yours as if she had been waiting for you to say those words, as if you were going to fly away right there.

"Are you going to glow if I kiss you?" Wanda mumbles the question, her lips ghosting over yours as she speaks.

"Probably..." You answer honestly.

"Good," she smiles and closes her eyes, feeling the warmth on her skin from the light that you radiated as she kisses you. You did your best to hold back, but the way her lips melted into yours and her soft tongue slipping against yours, you didn't stand a chance.

Even after the song had ended and everyone around you jumped to the quick and heavy beat, on the dancefloor, you and Wanda stayed like this. Foreheads together and swaying to your own beat, holding eachother close, neither of you knowing you would be in the same spot a year later for your first dance as a married couple.

#marvel #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wanda x fem!reader #wanda x gn!reader #wanda x y/n

[universal-verringbebe]

LADS MEN AS YANDERES

Alternatively titled "when your boyfriend is a yandere but that's your kink"

a tentative 18+ MDNI because I don't get explicit but it's HIGHLY suggestive

Zayne:

• My man's is CRAZY possessive and dominant.

• You're not allowed to see any other doctors but him

• Even if he's busy with another patient, he demands that you wait until he's done, regardless of what kind of injury you have

• As soon as you officially get together, he has you moving into his flat

• You WILL be sleeping in his bed every single night, no exceptions

• Don't even think of taking a nap on the couch, it's the bed or nothing

• And you eat that shit up

• Every time he orders you to do something, you have to stop yourself from jumping him right then and there

• Like he'll put a glass of water in front of you and coldly order you to "drink" and suddenly you're on your knees trying to get your fluids from somewhere else.

• You have male friends? Not anymore.

• If some of them suddenly vanished because of some dude named Dawnbreaker, that's not your business.

• The type to have you in bed and make you talk before pleasing you

• "Say my name"

• "Good girl, now say it again but louder"

• "Tell me you're mine"

Xavier:

• He's absolutely the stalker type

• Before you even officially met him, he was stalking you for at least a year.

• The area you used to live in had a high crime rate but you never met any trouble

• Wild, wonder why

• When you moved to a new apartment, he was your neighbor, what a coincidence and he started bonding with you like that,

• Whenever you needed anything or was having trouble with something, he would conveniently be there with a solution.

• You start to suspect the stalking and confront him

• When he confirms you literally just say "wow that's hot, please take me now"

• And that's how you got together

• From then on, he's just glued to your side no matter where you go

• You get a new job? Who's that fine piece of ass that's your coworker? Oh, hi Xavier.

• In bed, and I will continue saying this on main with no shame for xavier specifically, BREEDING KINK 🗣️🗣️🗣️

• He's going to fill you up whether you like it or not

• Spoiler alert: you like it

• "Just take it all my star, gonna make you give me a galaxy"

• "If I put a baby in you, then you really will have to stay with me forever"

Rafayel:

• THIS FUCKER IS MANIPULATIVE and NEEDY

• The moment he laid eyes on you, it was a wrap gg ez

• Like he deliberately will bump his car into yours at a stoplight, say it was your fault and demand your information

• Of course he's not going to make insurance claims or anything, he'll just buy you both a new car

• But now he has your number and you're never getting rid of him

• If he catches someone flirting with you, they'll suddenly find themselves without a job, homeless, in prison for 10 years for a crime he definitely committed and pinned it on them.

• And you're just here like, damn, you're so sexy when you ruin other people's lives🤪🥴🥵

• He said say less and proposed to you right then and there.

• How dare you not have your attention on him 25/8, do you even love him?

• Definitely needs affirmations every 0.3 seconds

• Also demands you prove your love to him. Like, if you love him, you'll pose nude in front of a whole class just so he can watch you squirm

• Spoiler alert: you're squirming because this arouses you

• LOVES marking you up and buying you revealing clothing to show his artwork off

• "They all need to know you're mine"

• "Don't cover that up. In fact, let me make it bigger, come here"

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #love and deepspace xavier #i had to #i haven't slept in 24 hours and im insanely proud of this brainrot #but also ive been on a yandere kick lately #I DO NOT ACTUALLY CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR OUTSIDE OF ROLEPLAY SCENARIOS I SWEAR

[yanderemommabean]

PLEASE WRITE MORE DEATH NOTE I BEG YOU. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ONLINE I NEED MORE YANDERE L. PLEASE I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE PROTECTION SPELLS I HAVE! I love the idea of foreigner reader that doesn't speak Japanese well and just came to Japan for a fun trip and now they are being investigated for being Kira. Reader is more scared of being arrested than of Kira because they have literally never committed a crime in their life so they know they are safe but they are scared of the legal system because they know that's it's not actually justice sometimes. But they aren't crying in a corner either. They just take it as it comes but they definetly don't like it and just want to go back home.

Also when L is like "who do you think Kira is since you say you aren't them." and reader is just like "light". point blank. doesn't bat an eye. and l is just like "...I agree with you....but do explain why since you've had only one conversation with him." and reader's just like "he's too perfect. have you ever watched a True crime documentary? the perfect dude, or the dude that could never do anything wrong, is the killer." and l is just like "...I agree.....but you are aware that you are too perfect..doesn't that make you a killer?" and reader is just like "me???perfect?? in what world??"

I'm rambling but please more death note L.

I love the point blank call out, just "Listen, anyone with eyes can see that Light is too calculated with his movements, like he's paranoid to step out of line. Even when he messes up it's too clean"

L just hums and nods along, but he's already fairly certain Light is Kira anyway, he just likes to hear your thought process and likes how your voice sounds.

You're not a helpless little lamb by any means, but you're certainly unaware of how much danger is actually around you. Kira is a big deal, everyone is on his hit list it seems, even sweet, intelligent and enthralling visitors such as yourself.

L isn't one to sugar coat things either, he's rather blunt and forward, as the worlds best detective has to be to cut out the bullshit. So he sets his sweets down and abruptly says "Be that as it may, until we actually catch Kira, you aren't going to be able to leave. As much as it annoys us both, you're still involved in this as anyone else"

You just tense your jaw, paranoid thoughts rushing through your mind as you fear you might somehow incriminate yourself despite being fully innocent. What can you say? The legal system sucks. But L just lays a hand on your shoulder, giving a rare smile as he tries to ease your nerves.

"Ah, but you'll have me on your side. You'll be safe from any harm. You're free to go to your hotel, but you will be hearing from us again"

He can admit he hates seeing you so stressed, and rather lascivious thoughts fill his brain on how to indulge you and fix that, but sadly the clock is ticking and he has some annoying people to answer before he can relax. He'll just have to make do with watching some street cameras and remembering the warmth of you under his fingertips.

-Mommabean

#yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #mommabean #yandere L #yandere death note #yandere male #yandere lawliet #male yandere

[thegoldencontracts]

Every Unethical Act Azul Has Committed (And Why None Of Them Were Actually Illegal)

We don't even need this list. I know, I know. But it was funny.

Notes: This may seem a bit redundant but clarification, discourse, and the like are always welcome! I'm not a lawyer, so please tell me if I've made any errors.

Slavery- It's legal based on some very specific technicalities that I will go into if you ask - Basically, it's boiled down to he likely can claim this as an employment agreement with a TRAP clause which is unethical but still technically legal. There's been some movements to make it illegal but none have been fruitful yet (not in the US, at least).

Child Labor and Contracts With Minors - The way he went about it is unethical, yes, but this is legal because 1. They were above the legal working age in most states 2. Crowley seems to have agreed to the Mostro Lounge's work and approved their hours and 3. Contracts signed by minors aren't automatically voided, they simply have an option to be voided with parental approval.

Possession of Property - He rendered the main character homeless, which is deeply unethical, but once again, not illegal. They signed the contract agreeing to give him their home, and he didn't actively threaten them. Crowley could be held liable for child neglect, but Azul's hands are (legally but definitely not ethically) scot-free.

Assault - We've never actually received canon proof that Azul attempts murder. Though other Overblotters are shown doing so, Azul hasn't. Also, the reason we stop the overblotters is for their own safety -they'll die if he don't. His true Unique Magic could still count as assault, though. Here, his defense is automastim, though whether it'd be classified as insane or sane I'm not quite sure.

Blackmail - Wording. Wording is everything. Blackmail is a crime, but Azul's wording makes it so he isn't technically blackmailing anyone.

Bribery - See previous section.

Solicitation - When Azul sends out the twins to harass clients. Wording is once again key here. Azul sent them out, by technicality, to 'assist' in dealing with clients. Add onto this that Jade doesn't usually do much in terms of physical harm and suddenly - Would you look at that? Floyd just happened to harm the client. Look at him, so short-tempered. Tsk. He's the only one with legal issues here, not Azul and Jade! (Side-Note: F in the chat for Floyd)

None of this is meant to woobify Azul. In fact, I believe this serves as a testament to his skill with loopholes <3

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst analysis #azul ashengrotto

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Please, elaborate more on these Hazbin Hotel headcanons. I’m very interested in hearing about them.

I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.

Since you didn't ask about anything specific, I'll just give some headcanons on Vs since I think about them the most.

> Vs are not a polycule, it's VoxVal + Velvette because she would never touch any of these losers. What's more, Vox and Val are extremely sexist (I mean it's kinda canon, we heard how they speak about women) so if she had sex with any (or both) of them, she would no longer be one of the boys and become one of the bitches.

> Vox has NPD, Val has BPD, Vel has APD.

> Vox is continuously overstimulated because he's constantly connected to his web. That's why snaps so easily and sometimes goes through 5 stages of grief in 5 seconds. He could disconnect (and sometimes he does) but he's too much of a control freak to not lurk constantly.

> During his life on earth, Valentino had a terrible, toxic father. Very much machismo who abused him relentlessly for being queer. (Not that I want to make him sympathetic, I just think that evil people are often miserable before they become evil.) Because Val is very queer, not just "man occasionally fucking other men", he's always been loud and proud pansexual and gender non-conforming. He wasn't some kind of activist, very concerned about queer issues, he just refused to stay in the closet out of spite, and because it made men around him uncomfortable. He just enjoyed being perceived as a deviant. It was one of the things that eventually got him killed.

> Vox is like a hardcore sadist. He cuts people open just to feel powerful.

> During his life on Earth, Vox used to be extremely homophobic because his bisexuality was threatening to his masculinity. He's also the embodiment of toxic white masculinity from the 50's. He actually did some personal growth in Hell, eg. He gave up racism, homophobia, transphobia, and most other -phobias, and now he despites everyone rather equally. He just bullies women more because misogynistic violence is a low-hanging fruit.

> So with Velvette I had some fun because she manifested in Hell not so long ago and happened to be as powerful as other Vs, who had much more experience and souls collected. So I assumed she must be completely deranged. I came up with the idea that she used to be a toxic influencer who built a cult-like following around her. She weaponized it against multiple people, ruining lives, and manipulating kids into committing crimes or even suicides. Her methods are very fine, Vox and Val have nothing on her when it comes to cruelty.

> Velvette is not misogynistic per se but she despises weak women who can't fight for themselves. That's why other Vs behavior don't bother her, she doesn't feel threatened by their aggression.

> Angel Dust has BPD and an eating disorder. That's why he fell for Valentino so terribly, to trust him with his soul. He used to think that Valentino is the only person fucked up enough to truly love him as damaged as he'd been. (More hc about Val and Angel here). Actually Val has a very similar backstory to him - a queer, gender non-conforming man in a very masculine environment (I'm not sure how canonic is Angel working for the Italian Mafia at this point but I stick to it until proven otherwise).

Other headcanos about Vox and Val ❤️🩵

#hazbin hotel #valentino #vox #Velvette #VoxVal #angel dust #Huskerdust #headcanon #ask #vox hazbin hotel #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel velvette

[matan4il]

Update post:

Today, there was an attempted terrorist attack at the Meggido junction in Israel. The hammer-wielding terrorist was thankfully caught before he managed to carry out his planned crime. He's 17 years old, and you can bet the anti-Israel crowd will use his age as "proof" that Israel arrests and jails kids, without mentioning what these minors are being imprisoned for, instead of condemning those who brainwash children into carrying out terrorist attacks. Just one reminder out of many such attacks, in 2018 a 17 years old Palestinian terrorist killed a 45 years old Israeli man, so please no one pretend like minors are harmless, or ignore that when teenagers commit harmful crimes in other countries, they're arrested there, too.

It was obvious that some people have made up their minds about the incident with the WCK workers even before the investigation started, so I expect its conclusions will get perverted and ignored, too.

That same anti-Israel crowd will also ignore (unless they'll use it as ammunition against the Jewish state, by actually claiming that Israel, a nation still reeling from the genocide of Jews, and the continued killing of its citizens by antisemitic terrorists, is intentionally killing its own, because there's just no cartoon villain crime they don't think they can pin on the Jewish state) the fact that there's another IDF investigation that's been released today, which said Efrat Katz was accidentally killed by a helicopter rocket while trying to stop the Hamas terrorists who were kidnapping her into Gaza. The helicopter pilot didn't realize at the time that there were hostages in the car as well, this was only deduced later, from the testimonies of other people kidnapped by Hamas. In other words, as horrific as this truth is, accidents do happen during war. The worst, most tragic ones, and we can't undo them, no matter how much we want to. But they happen to every army, and are not actual evidence of intentional killings, or intentional war crimes. Just like someone having been killed is in general not enough to prove a murder took place.

This is 68 years old Efrat Katz.

The WCK incident report is now out, and I am linking the source publication, so that no possible bias can be attributed to re-phrasing by journalists from any side.

As was the initial impression (for those who don't simply want to believe in every evil, dehumanizing lie about Israel), it turned out to be a tragic accident, that entailed many factors, first and foremost misidentification, in part due to Hamas. As I've pointed out more than once, Hamas steals humanitarian aid. Due to this, the WCK operation had hired armed guards to protect it from looting. Tragically, one armed guard was identified without question on one of the WCK's trucks, and was mistaken for a Hamas terrorist, while at least one other armed terrorist was also identified and thought to be in the convoy's private cars. The vehicles did have the WCK sticker on their roofs, but at night, that wasn't visible to the IDF soldiers. Since the whole convoy was misidentified, the drone fired more than once at more than one vehicle, but this is linked to the same single mistaken identification. It means that even though this shouldn't have happened, the soldiers who fired at the convoy really did believe they were targeting terrorists, which is their mission.

The IDF has expressed sorrow over this incident more than once, has taken responsibility, has conducted an investigation, and following its results, two high ranking officers have been removed from their posts, and two more were severely reprimanded, which means this will be in their file forever, and will influence any future decisions made about their service.

This is 72 years old Nadjda Astreks.

She lives in the southern town of Ofakim with her husband, Alexnder. In the above photo, she's pointing to the bullet holes in her kitchen, left by the terrorists on Oct 7. The couple don't have a bomb shelter in their own home, so they had to go out to a public one when the rocket attack began at 6:30 in the morning. When they returned, is when the terrorists shooting at the buildings began, and the confused couple didn't know what to think or do at first. They went out, and saw the girl from across the street falling. Alexander approached her, only to see a pool of blood, and realize that she had been shot to death. A soldier who was running in the direction of the terrorists told them to go back to the neighborhood bomb shelter, where they ended up hiding for hours, without food and water, or proper toilettes, without knowing what's going on outside for a big part of that. It was fellow residents from their neighborhood who faced the terrorists and saved the people there, but the first ambulance for the injured was only able to make it there at three in the afternoon. Nadjda said that even much later, she's still having trouble eating, whenever she thinks of everything that happened on the day of the massacre.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #terrorism #anti terrorism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish #ask #anon ask #wck

[idkfitememate]

Hello ! I don't know why, but I just had the idea of a raccoon!creator that is in the Fortress of Meropides because he had stole a lot of things. I can easily imagine the trial with humans or hybrids against a raccoon that is just trying to defend itself.

Raccoon!Creator will just be a silly thief who was the first raccoon (and animal) sent to Meropides to serve time in prison because of crimes it committed.

(If you're okay with writing raccoon!creator, can i be the 🦝 anon please ?)

Have a good day and night.

I read your ask and then my first genuine thought was this encounter:

“What did you do?”

“Oh I stole, you?”

“Also stealing.”

“Damn… is that a Raccoon?”

“Oh yeah…”

“Why are they here?”

“…Mass murder, Attempted world domination, Sororicide, Forced lobotomy, Mutilation, Torture, Child abuse, Kidnapping, Vandalism, Stalking, Blackmail, Terrorism, Instigating mass suicide, Worldwide destruction, Incrimination, Brainwashing, Snuff filming, Propaganda, Sabotage…”

“What-“


“Extortion, Forgery, Gaoling, Defilement, Enslavement, Unlawful imprisonment, Crimes against humanity, Hate crimes, Mass murder, Prostitution, Mutilation, Indecent exposure, Harassment, Crimes against humanity AGAIN, Vandalism, Property damage, Enforced cannibalism, Cannibalism (unintentionally), Shoplifting, Attempted genocide, Terrorism also again, Assault and battery, Breaking and entering, Theft, Fraud, Rape…”

“OKAY WHAT-“

“Torture also also again, Psychological abuse, Incrimination, Blackmail also also also again, Corpse desecration, Mass kidnapping, Treason, Enforced suicide, Hijacking, Animal cruelty, Zoophilia, Extortion, Stalking, Smuggling, Arson, Attempted bribery, Conspiracy…”

“WHAT THE FUCK-“

“Infringement, Attempted global domination, Attempted matricide, Patricide, Graverobbing, War crimes, Trespassing, Embezzlement, Underage/hit-and-run, machinery operation, False imprisonment, Slander, Underage pornography…”

“…”

“…”

“… And more…”

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL-“

(For context I used both Junk Enoshima and Eric Cartman’s crime lists-) Anyway-

I guess I can do silly thief ૮꒰ ˶꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ˶꒱ა-

“I guess you’ll be staying here..?” Wriothesley questioned.

He knew the rules and laws of Fontaine could be… weird, at times, but to enforce them on a Raccoon was… hmm…

It was that trial that all of Fontaine seemed to collectively realize that even the animals of Fontaine followed the rules and laws… huh.

Watching that trail felt like a fever dream. Wriothesley wasn’t one to come to see trials, but upon hearing it was a Raccoon… he had to. And so had everyone else apparently because it was a full house. Also watching a Raccoon defend itself was.. and experiencing.

The Warden genuinely felt like he was having an out of body experience the second the bars closed on Racoon who was glaring up at him. Your eyes bore into his soul in a way none of the other prisoners were able to. It genuinely shook him.

The worst part and most disturbing is what you stole.

You. A Raccoon…

…Stole the fucking Oratrice Mecanique D'analyse Cardinale.

How? They couldn’t figure it out but you did, that was confirmed. Why? No one can speak Raccoon so they didn’t know.

All the male knew was that you were somehow more dangerous than a good majority of the prisoners in the Meropide.

… Dear Archons what would happen when you get loose?.. He didn’t want to know.

Their just a little guy officer ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

Also welcome 🦝 anon! <3

#asks <3 #anon <3 #🦝 anon <3 #Raccoon!Creator

[neil-gaiman]

Dear Neil.

There's a tragedy happening in Iran, we're being shot in the streets, my brothers and sisters are dying, my government is committing war crimes and as a fellow human being I'm desperately asking for your help to raise awareness.

Mahsa Amini was a 22-year-old woman who was brutally murdered by the Islamic Republic of Iran's so-called "morality police." Her crime? Showing hair in public and "dressing inappropriately." Any human being with a pair of working eyes who has seen pictures of her prior to her murder can see that not only was her dress not inappropriate, but also that she (and a lot of women in Iran) had covered herself more than any other woman in any other part of world is obligated to.This sparked fury among the people of Iran and a wave of nation-wide protests broke out as the result. But don't get it wrong. This was only the straw that broke the camel's back and was the result of 43 years of unmitigated oppression and cruelty that the people of Iran have been subjected to. Every Iranian is branded a Muslim from birth and they're not given a choice. You cannot identify as an atheist and other religious minorities are treated horribly with a lot of their rights stripped from them. There's been a long history of cruelty against Bahai people in Iran, for example. We're not forced to be muslims in name only. We're also forced to act like muslims and learn all the muslim teachings, hijab being one of the many ideals shoved down our throat. And of course, converting from Islam to other religions or no religion is punishable by death. This savagery is not part of our culture or law; it is not part of any humanitarian law to kill women for showing hair and exercising their right to bodily autonomy for that matter.Up until now, the government forces have been violent and ruthless in their attempts to stump out our protests. They've shot people from a 63 year old woman to a 10 year old girl, killing them all without mercy. The Internet has been cut out in several places and reportedly, they've brought out tanks and used military-grade bullets in the city of Sanandaj, where the Internet has been shut down for two days as of September 21. Meanwhile, president Ibrahim Raisi is giving a lecture in the UN, babbling about saving the people of Palestine and justice in the world while his own forces are brutally murdering ordinary people and protesters in Iran.At this point, we're in danger of being cut off from the world when the whole internet finally shuts down. This is not a speculation. The same thing happened in the nation-wide protests of 2019 and the government proceeded to kill all the protesters in absolute radio silence. A lot of protesters were found with cement blocks tied to their ankles and thrown in the river after the successfully stumped the protests out. We don't want the same thing to happen to our children and people again. If you hear no more news from Iran, things haven't settled down. We are being silently killed off and executed.You might think you don't have anything to do with this, but think again about why you all involved yourselves in the war between Ukraine and Russia. This is not any different. Our people have waged a war against their government and none of them are people who willingly chose violence. They are normal people who want nothing more than a normal life, which is what the Islamic regime has taken from them. If you have an ounce of humanity and empathy within yourself, you'll spread the word around and not let this injustice go unanswered and unpunished.There's nothing more to be said.

As an Iranian woman who always read your books and who always raised up her voice, I need help now. We can Breathe anymore! I fought for poc, I raised my voice for ukraine. Now I need yours. I'm a young author. I can have a future... a free one! but my government took it from me. Please be my voice ... our voice!!

I'm happy to let people know, yes. And it's heartbreaking.

Here's the BBC on what's happening:

[jel-jel-jel]

PSA (Public Salmon Announcement)

For some reason, it seems, everyone thinks that the taller platforms on Gone Fission Hydroplant are where to go during the Salmon Rush wave. THIS IS NOT TRUE. So I've made a quick visual aid to show people where the chokepoint ACTUALLY is, and why it's better. Explanation and Tips under cut.

Image A: When it starts getting dark at the beginning of a wave, it's best to run to Platform C, so you have time to (re)ink the area. Prepare for Glowflies to happen, even if it ends up being fog, or Mothership. It's better to be safe than being covered in Glowflies and scrambling to get to the chokepoint. If you or a coworker aren't at the chokepoint, GET THERE. Spam "This Way!" if you need to.

Image B: Why is Platform C better?? Well, looking at the diagram above, I've shown two possible routes that the line of Salmonids will travel, depending on where the person with the Glowflies is. Salmonids will pour in from two sides of the map. Sometimes the left, sometimes the right, sometimes BOTH sides at the same time. This is why Platform C is more safe to use than Platforms A and B. No matter the direction the Salmonids come from, they will have to approach from the single pathway up to Platform C, making them much easier to deal with. While on Platforms A & B, there are TWO potential pathways that the Salmonids could take to get to you AT THE SAME TIME. Even if they only came from one direction, you would have to guess where they'd come from next. But on Platform C, they will ALWAYS travel to this single pathway. Please use it to your advantage!

Tip A: After a few seconds, the Glowflies will switch to another person on your team (or you), so there's no reason to separate from them. The handy thing about egg throwing, is that you don't need to move from the chokepoint to deposit your eggs. Take a second to refill your ink tank, and continue shooting at Chums and Goldies, giving your coworkers the opportunity to do the same. They will also ignore players that do not have Glowflies on them, so it's safe to have one person depositing eggs while the other three fend off Salmonids. Just don't stray to far in case the Glowflies latch on to you next.

Tip B: A lot of Salmon Run guides advise that, if you are target of Glowflies, that you climb a wall and let the Salmon collect under you, allowing your teammates to easily take care of them. I have to STRONGLY advise against this, however. Firstly, you can't help shoot Salmonids if you're clinging to the wall, meaning they will be splatted a bit more slowly. It's essentially leaving your coworkers one person short. You also can't revive fallen teammates. Secondly, like mentioned before, the Glowflies will move on to someone else in a short amount of time. Having to switch out who gets to sit on the wall wastes time, and can be tricky, depending on where this wall is. It's a risky move, and may separate you from your team too much. And finally, it's just less hassle to use the normal chokepoint. There's no need to try to "cheat" the game, using the chokepoint is already the easiest way to deal with a Salmon Rush. Obviously, do whatever works, but not everyone you play with will want to use this strategy, so it's best just to do what everyone else is doing (which should be using CHOKEPOINT ON PLATFORM C. PLEASE.)

Thank you for reading :) Feel free to tell your friends! And now go commit more war crimes in the squid game

#ive lost TOO MANY SALMON RUSH WAVES LATELY OK #spamming (this way) isnt enough apparently #pleas listent to me :( #splatoon #splatoon 3 #salmon run #salmon run next wave #this can be reposted anywhere btw i encourage it actually #my art #i guess??? lol