#also ignore how I sometimes just stand there for several seconds ok I’m Processing

[icedthoma]

stronk

part 3 of my dps thoma progress LMAO

#the day I break 100k with thoma I will be sO HAPPY ASHDHSJ #also ignore how I sometimes just stand there for several seconds ok I’m Processing #tea talks 🍵 #t plays genshin impact #genshin impact #thoma

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

Gwynriel- when Gwyn confesses to Azriel about being in love with him but he thinks he isn't good enough for her so he runs away, but while he's gone Gwyn gets injured and then he confesses too

It's been a couple weeks since I got this one but I finally got around to it. I hope you enjoy it and please stick around for the ending it's my favorite part. also if anyone likes it and wants to send me more prompts my inbox is always open

‘hold me until we are all but dust’

“Azriel,” she held his hands in her own, gripping them as she looked into his eyes. “Azriel, I think-no I know you are my mate. And I know that you struggle with conveying your feelings so you don’t have to say it back, but I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t know that,” She felt her eyes begin to water and she huffed out a laugh. “That I love you, and I didn’t think it would ever have been possible for me to feel this way after what had happened to me. And god did I want it, but only in my wildest dreams and fantasies did I think that even a fraction of how I feel now, was possible. But you, my shadowsinger, have exceeded any expectation I could have ever hoped for and I know there will never be anyone else who can make me feel as safe, has been my friend, challenges me, and infuriates me as much as you do.”

“Gwyn,” he breathed.

She delicately cupped his face in her palms, gently wiping a tear away. Gwyn whispered, “you idiot I love you.”

“Gwyn,” he said again. So rarely was he at a loss for words but it seemed he could say nothing more than her name. The words were there, screaming at him to be voiced, pleading, begging, and yet he could do nothing. He didn’t deserve her, in what world was this beautiful, spirited female allowed to love him. Everywhere Azriel went, he hurt and destroyed but he would not hurt her. Gwyn deserved to thrive, to grow, but he was all darkness, shadows, and endless voids. He was where light and warmth went to die. “Gwyn,” he said one last time and opened his mouth to voice every incoherent thought he had, in his mess of a mind. But once again no words came.

“Hey.” she forced him to look at her. “Hey. I am not asking for you to say anything back and when you are ready you will tell me but I just needed you to hear it. Ok?” she turned away from him but not before he caught the slight look of disappointment. She didn’t look back.

Azriel stood there minutes after Gwyn had left, stunned. He had hurt her, he had let her down and the thought of ever doing that again left him hollow and with an urge to break something.

Subconsciously he felt his shadows begin to wrap and weave around him, folding Azriel into his own darkness.

He opened his eyes to find himself at the gates of rosehall. The house was in a corner of the night court where few lived. Outside the limits of velaris, but far from the horrors of the court of nightmares. Azriel’s mother loved it but he knew sometimes she felt suffocated from the simplicities of what life had become. His mother craved adventure and excitement, the domestic life was one she still wasn’t fond of.

Az hadn’t been planning a visit but might as well see his mother since he was here. He knocked on the gates, the magic recognizing his own, and opened.

She was sitting on a rocking chair, knitting and quietly humming to herself. She was only a few centuries older than himself but illness caused her to look much older.

She sighed not looking at him. “What did you do?”

“Can’t I just want to see my beautiful mother every once in a while?”

She rolled her eyes seeing through his bullshit. “You do see me, sometimes I think you’re here too often. So I ask again, what did you do?” Maybe it was magic, some gift, maybe it was just mother’s intuition but somehow she always knew.

He kissed her on the head and began to make way to the room he kept in the house. “The sickness is finally getting to you, you’re making things up.”

She snorted, “Hunny you’ll know the day this thing beats me but it sure as hell won’t win without a fight.”

“Of course mom.”

“It’s alright I’ll get it out of you eventually.” She winked at him as he winnowed to his room. Azriel heard her mumble “won’t even use the damn stairs anymore.” and he chuckled softly.

Within seconds Azriel collapsed on his bed, closing his eyes to ignore the tug he felt within him. He wasn’t running, he was doing what was best for Gwyn. That’s a lie, the subtle hiss sent shivers up his spine. Azriel shut his shadows out too. She didn’t need him and he didn’t deserve her.

He didn’t sleep, when he slept he was drowning in nightmares. For five days he cared for his mother, catching up on the occurrences of each other's lives. Azriel was careful to avoid Gwyn in his recaps. And every day he could tell his mother was growing more and more concerned. He desperately wanted to be with her, he could feel the pull in every inch of his body but Azriel had always been stubborn, so he stayed with the knowledge that what he was doing was the right thing.

He felt his mother watching him, studying him until finally, she spoke. “Az is this extended visit about that girl.” she paused trying to think. “The redhead? For the love of god this stupid illness, I can’t remember her name, Gwyn? Was it?”

Azriel’s eyes flitted away giving her confirmation her guess was right. His mother sighed, grabbed her cane, and began to stand. He got up to help her only to be met by a dagger-eyed glare that said you help me and I cut your arms off. She was several inches shorter than him but as his stubborn mother hobbled over to him, she held out an arm for him to take. He took it without hesitation but the question remained on his lips.

“We are going for a walk.” she beat him to it.

They walked in silence, ever so often her arm clutching his tightly as if she were about to fall. Memories flashed of his mother before she was sick. When she could not stay still for more than a moment, even centuries-old and still she had carried a youthfulness with her that could not be replicated.

As if she could read his thoughts she raised her eyebrows, “I’m fine.”

“I would never suggest you weren’t.” Although they both knew she wasn’t fine, denial was bliss for those with limited days. His mother studied Azriel as he looked around at the plethora of roses covering the entirety of the gate.

“I hate them.” she scrunched her nose in disgust at the bright flowers as Az snorted.

“Then why don’t you do something about them.”

“They were here before me and they will be here long after me, what right do I have to disrupt them from their home?” She paused. “To the displeasure of my eyes and nose, I will not be moving them.”

They continued their leisurely walk until they finally reached a well. It was a considerable distance outside the boundaries of what was her home. She began to fill up the bucket with water from the well. It was a slow process for his mother's stubbornness forbade him from helping her. When she was finished she grabbed the pail and walked away from him leaving Azriel behind.

“Wait-”

She turned to face him. “Close your mouth, my dear, you wouldn’t want to swallow a fly,” and kept walking.

“Are we not-” he fumbled for his words. “Going to talk about her.”

“Well, I came out here for some fresh water.” She looked at him innocently. “Would you like to talk about her?” His damned mother played him. Her gaze softened.

“I may be sick but I know how to get my son to talk to me even when his own stubbornness refuses.”

He sighed. “I will never doubt you again.”

She sat down on a bench a few feet from the well and motioned for him to join her. “Now tell me what happened.”

He was quiet for a second before he spoke. “Gwyn, she, she told me she loved me.”

“And do you love her back?”

Without hesitation, Azriel responded softly. “Yeah, I do.”

“Then why are you here with me and not with her.” Azriel looked away. “Is this female your mate?” He nodded. “And you’re in love with her?” He nodded once again. “The female you have been looking for your entire life wants to be with you and you ran away?”

Azriel ran his fingers through his hair. “It is more complicated than that.” “Why?”

“Because- because I don’t deserve her. Gwyn, she’s full of this light and she has a spirit unlike anyone I have ever met and I know that I cannot give her what she needs.”

His mother appeared speechless for a moment before bursting out into a fit of laughter. He scowled at her. “You men are fools.” It was Azriel’s turn to be speechless. “Listen to me, is she worth it?”

“God yes.”

“Then it is not your place to decide what she needs. I have never been one to sugar coat and I won’t start now, there is a chance that this may crash and burn. But you have to decide if the possibility of pain and rejection is worth letting yourself be happy. Gwyn is telling you that she wants to take the leap with you and that regardless of whatever you may think, she believes you are worth it.”

Azriel stared straight ahead as his mother spoke. But she forced him to look at her. “Azriel, it’s not selfish to want to be happy. And this female makes you happy.”

At that moment Azriel felt a lurch in his chest. A tug stronger than any he’s felt. It was intense, it was dizzying, it took over every one of his senses. “Gwyn. it’s Gwyn she needs me.”

His mother gave him an incredulous look. “Then what the hell are you doing here? Go to her.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order. Azriel didn’t think, he just let his shadows wrap around him and instinct took over.

He opened his eyes and looked around. His eyes caught a flash of red, he bolted and found Gwyn laying on the ground limp. She was bleeding. No No No. Too much blood. His heart was a drum in his chest. Azriel, as gently as he could, lifted her into his arms. There was an arrow sticking out of her chest, just barely missing her heart. “gwyn. Gwyn. GWYN.” Finally, her eyes opened slowly. Her lips were purple and her skin was a sickly shade of white. He ripped off his own coat and wrapped it around her.

“Az” she croaked and let out a groan of pain. “It seems the Illyrians don’t like me very much.” She whispered each word a struggle to speak. Her eyes drifting closed.

“Shhh don’t speak don’t speak. Gwyn, my love, I need you to keep your eyes open.”

“Take it out.” she huffed.

“If I do that you’ll bleed out and I need you to live.” In his mind, Azriel screamed for Rhys. Over and over he thought the words. Gwyn’s bleeding out I can’t move her, we’re deep in Illyrian territory please come quick.

Seconds passed and it took every inch of concentration for Gwyn to keep her eyes open. Azriel watched her internal struggle, knew the feeling of being on the edge, how it would be so easy just to close your eyes. To rest.

“Please Gwyn” his voice broke. “I need you to- I need you.”

He just barely heard the words. “Why?”

“Because-” Azriel took a deep breath. “You make every moment better. Because I have lived 500 years and yet you still find ways to surprise me. Because I have never known what it meant to love and be loved as fiercely and absolutely as we love each other. You never gave up on me, not once, because you are stubborn and determined and I could walk this world for millennia more and I know without a doubt in my mind I could never find anyone like you. Even if you weren’t my mate they would never and could never compare to you.” He took another breath. “And I know that I hurt you but I need you to live to be mad at me, live to scream at me for all the things we both know I did wrong, live to hurt me as I hurt you, I don’t care just please Gwyn. I need you to live.”

“Say it.” Azriel laughed a shaky, desperate, nervous laugh.

“You idiot, I love you.” He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to hers, and held her close to him. Azriel had never been religious but in that moment he begged and pleaded and prayed to the mother, to the cauldron, to whoever was up there watching that this was not the end. This couldn’t be the end.

#gwynriel #gwynriel one shot #gwynriel I love you #gwyn berdara #azriel #gwyn x azriel #I had fun writing this #these two istg #but I love them in all their stupidity #I'm looking at you shadowsinger

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Victor’s Return Home Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

The date begins in a conference room, where a meeting has been going on for almost three hours

When LFG invested in an online video platform called SE, LFG held a press release stating that it was a strategic move for the international film and TV market

However, just within two years, SE found itself racking up billions of dollars in debt due to its poor project management

As such, people in the know have been secretly ridiculing Victor for making an error of judgement

Fortunately, LFG’s connections with the media prevented this information from leaking out

But it doesn’t change the fact that LFG messed up this time

Victor hasn’t slept in two days - he’s been poring through documents, project materials, and would sometimes sit in the conference room alone for several hours, forgetting to eat :

When Victor returns to the hotel, there are over a hundred unread notifications on his phone. 

He doesn’t pay attention to such information, but taps on the only pinned message amid the countless lists of prompts.

Unsurprisingly, it’s filled with insignificant idle talk, coupled with several different emoticons.

Victor loosens his tie slightly, reading through the messages from top to bottom. 

“I made an improved version of omurice. Want to try it?”

“What is Goldman talking about in his Moments - something about being angry and tired. Is the meeting not going smoothly?”

“Remember to eat...”

“And remember to sleep!”

Victor’s finger pauses at this line, and there’s a gentle emotion flowing in his eyes.

“The internet celebrity lawyer you mentioned the other time agreed to my invitation for an interview, so I’ll be rushing out the proposal this Saturday. Want to be a supervisor?”

Victor opens the dialog box. Once he sends an “ok”, the other party immediately responds with an emoticon of a winking cat. 

Thinking of the time right now, he arches his brows slightly. 

-

Nestled in my quilt, I’m just about to embark on a long speech regarding the weekend’s schedule, but the phone in my hand suddenly vibrates, surprising me. 

Victor: Did you not sleep, or did you wake up?

MC: Haha...

Victor: What are you laughing at? 

MC: It feels like that is something I often ask you. Why is it now your turn to ask me?

Victor: It’s only 5am now. 

MC: I didn’t get a reply from you, so I couldn’t sleep...

I turn over, changing to a more comfortable position against the corner of the quilt. I press the phone tightly to my ear. 

MC: What project are you busy with this time? Is it going smoothly? 

Victor: Smoothly. It’s still early, you can sleep for a while longer.

MC: ...I can’t really sleep now. Are you still coming back on Thursday as you said last time? 

Victor: Before Saturday. 

MC: It’s only Tuesday today... and the sun hasn’t come out yet. 

I hear Victor laugh, his low tone mixed with some tiredness.

Victor: You find it too late? 

MC: I wouldn’t dare to. If it weren’t something important, you wouldn’t delay returning. However... even if it’s because of work, you did go back on your word, so you have to promise me one thing. 

A deep and slow sigh enters my ear, revealing a faint sense of fatigue.

Victor: You can say it. 

MC: You have to eat, and you have to sleep.

The other end of the phone call grows silent for a few seconds. 

Victor: Mm, I promise you.

The misty morning light is on the curtains. In the midst of my quiet grogginess, I close my eyes, wanting to feel the frequency of his breaths. 

MC: ...it has been raining continuously in Paris these two days. 

Victor: It’s like that during this season. 

MC: Is... is it very cold...

Victor: No, it isn’t. 

My consciousness grows increasingly darker, but I can still clearly capture his voice in my bizarre dream world. 

Victor: [in the gentlest of gentle voices] Sleep if you’re tired. I’m hanging up. 

MC: N-not tired... don’t hang up...

Victor: You can’t even speak clearly, and you’re still unwilling to sleep?

MC: ...

I just need five more seconds to be clear-headed--

I let out a sound of agreement, unsure if I managed to say this aloud.

Very soon, only Victor’s long and steady breaths at my ear remain in my world. It’s very, very close. It’s a closeness that gives one a peace of mind. 

Victor: Are you asleep?

MC: ...

Victor: Sleep then.

Victor: ...

Victor: Sleep peacefully. 

-

On Saturday afternoon, I lift my head towards the wall clock for the nth time. When the needle points to the number ‘3′, I can no longer help myself, and give Victor a call. 

After the dial tone, the notification that the other party is unable to answer the call sounds. Before I can react, the doorbell rings. 

Victor is standing at the door and just about to put his phone back into his pocket. In a daze, I look towards at his empty hands. 

MC: Your luggage...

Victor: Goldman took them back. I still have to return to LFG tonight. 

As he speaks, he enters and changes his shoes in the hallway. After that, he walks straight into my bedroom.

Victor: What have you been doing these two days? 

He walks to the coffee table, picking up the messy outline I was working on for an interview. He takes a glance and then lifts the corners of his lips. 

Victor: You said you were working seriously for several days, but you just did a few outlines? 

MC: Don’t underestimate me! I’ve looked through quite a number of materials. Look!

I point at the stack of trending societal topics and legal-related books on the floor. 

MC: Preparatory work speeds up the actual process. Also, didn’t I recognise my inadequacies and ask you to be a supervisor? 

I hurriedly drag a chair to the coffee table and place a headrest on the back of it. 

MC: Please sit. I guarantee that from this second onwards, I’ll concentrate on the proposal. Before the sun sets, I’ll definitely have the first edition out. 

Victor can’t help but laugh. He hangs his coat on the clothes rack in the corner, then pulls the chair over to himself. After sitting down, he seems to recall something and lets out a faint sigh. 

Victor: Lend me your laptop for a while.

I hand him my notebook computer, and a thought flashes across my mind -- how could he not have brought a laptop out?

MC: Victor, when did you get infected by my scatterbrained habits? 

Victor: Only this time. I forgot to take it with me after leaving it in the backseat.

Victor avoids my teasing gaze. With his expression unchanged, he starts approving documents on the LFG intranet. 

Victor: The sun is setting in two hours. 

MC: Who knows - maybe the sun wouldn’t feel like going home today. 

I return to my seat, resting my chin on my palm while looking towards Victor. 

The light golden sunlight streams in from the window, slowly enveloping Victor. The quiet, warm rays of light are coupled with a calming woody scent, and are very pleasant. 

Victor doesn’t speak. His fingers tap against the desk from time to time. In this quiet room, the sound of our breathing is amplified.

After an inordinate amount of time, he finally lifts his eyes and meets mine.

Victor: Staring at me can help you finish your proposal?

MC: I’m not staring at you. I’m silently conceptualising ideas.

After my words are out, a short “ding” sounds.

MC: Wait for a moment~ 

In a flash, I rush to the kitchen and retrieve the aromatic cookies from the oven. After carefully placing them on a cooling rack, I bring it back to the room along with two cups of warm drinks. 

MC: Afternoon tea time!

Victor casts a glance at the cups and arches his brows slightly. Steam floats from the hot cup of milk, and strands of warmth merge with the sweetness in the house.

MC: Your dark circles are so deep, so don’t drink coffee, all right?  

Victor: I’m fine. 

I thought Victor meant that he wouldn’t drink this, but he holds up the cup after speaking. 

Once I sit down, I push the plate filled with cookies towards him. 

MC: Look at my new mold - isn’t it cute?

I point at the cookies, which are shaped like cats with different expressions on them. 

MC: This one is yawning, this one is full of grievances, this one has already fallen asleep, but I like this one the most. It keeps having an angry face. I called it “Qi Gu Gu”.

[Note: Names don’t translate well into English, so I left it as it is. The original name is 气鼓鼓, which means “seething”]

Victor’s eyes sweep towards my fingers. 

Victor: Looks like you. 

MC: Is that so?

I puff my cheeks, mimicking the cat on the cookie and squinting my eyes to look at Victor. 

As predicted, Victor ignores me. There is a measure of speechlessness in his eyes.

I laugh and bring “Qi Gu Gu” to his lips. 

MC: Give it a try? 

Victor takes a bite straight from my hand, then returns his gaze to the laptop. 

MC: Aren’t you going to evaluate it? 

He purses his lips slightly, and I can’t tell if he’s smiling or not. He leans forward a little, then finishes the remaining half of “Qi Gu Gu” in my hand. 

His warm lips brush against my fingertips, leaving behind a soft, lingering warmth. A fluffy, light, and sweet sense of happiness stirs up slowly in my heart. 

Contented, I sweep the crumbs off my hands and take up my pen again. 

Soon after, MC’s mind starts wandering to how fine the weather is

And how fine her man is 👀

He doesn’t show much emotion while working, and his expression looks as calm as always. But the deep look of concentration between his eyebrows is a little different from usual.

As for what exactly is different...

It’s probably how one just can’t look away.

Victor: It’s only been a few minutes. How many times have you lost focus? 

I hurriedly retract my gaze, pretending to be scribbling on the paper like an “obedient” student who got caught doing something improper by a teacher.

But my ideas have not been completely formulated, and I can’t think of anything to write. The only thing I can do is draw a small heart at the top right-hand corner of the paper. 

Sensing Victor’s lingering gaze on me, I continue scribbling until it becomes a solid heart, then attach a tilde at the end.

After pausing for a moment, I let out a soft sigh and lift my head slightly. 

Victor: Why are you sighing.

MC: ...I can’t help it.

Victor: Can’t help what? 

MC: Can’t help looking at you. 

I cross my arms together, changing to a more comfortable position and plopping onto the table. I tilt my head towards Victor. 

He lets out a barely audible laugh. Just as he’s about to speak, a familiar ringtone sounds from his pocket. 

Watching Victor pick up the call, my messy thoughts instantly vanish, and I feel slightly downcast.

Victor: The time now is...

While speaking, Victor looks at the bottom right corner of the laptop. After a slight pause, he looks at the phone. 

Victor: 4.30pm. Have them give me a reply by 8pm. 

His words are concise. After he hangs up, I ask him a little hesitantly. 

MC: Do you... have to go back to LFG now? 

Victor: I'm not leaving. 

While saying this, he sets his phone on silent mode and places it at the corner of the table. Meeting my hesitant gaze, there’s a sense of resignation in his calm eyes.

Victor: Your laptop is set to Paris’ timezone. 

I fail to understand the implication behind his words, so I just nod subconsciously. 

MC: Mm, it’s easier to tell the time like that. 

Victor doesn’t speak. He sweeps another glance at the laptop. At this moment, the system sends a report of the weather forecast in Paris over the next five days - there will be continuous rain every day.

He smiles faintly, then closes the laptop slowly.

Victor: ...you’re really becoming more and more dumb.

MC: ...yes yes yes, taking care of a dummy like me is really a bother for Mr CEO. 

I deliberately pout, but can’t help but smile along with Victor. I stand up and retrieve our two empty cups.

MC: I'll go wash the cups. Is there anything you want to eat?

Victor: No need. Are you treating me as you? 

I let out an indignant “hmph”, then turn around and head to the kitchen. 

I originally thought it would only take a few minutes to wash the two cups. But by the time I cleaned and tidied up the tools I used for baking earlier, half an hour has passed. 

When I return to the room, Victor is lying on the bed, my incomplete outline in his hand.

I soften my footsteps and walk over, leaning close to his ear and whispering:

MC: Victor, are you asleep? 

Victor doesn’t respond, but has a shallow intake of breath, his eyelashes quivering gently under the twilight. 

MC: Are you really sleeping or just pretending to sleep? 

Very lightly, I climb onto the bed, inching towards him.

MC: Victor? 

I call his name again softly, but he still does not respond. But the corners of his lips curl up slowly, revealing a smile.  

MC: You aren’t asleep, are you.

I lean one hand on the bed, and use my other hand to lift up a few strands of his hair. 

Looking at his smooth and sharp jawline, my fingertips unconsciously rub the tips of his hair. 

MC: ...have you been very tired recently?

Victor: No.

His words carry with them a certain sleepiness - perhaps he hasn’t had rest in a few days, so he gets drowsy once he relaxes just a little. 

MC: Didn’t you already look at my interview outline? Why are you looking at it again? 

Victor: To see what exactly you were scribbling. 

I think about that heart with its little tail, and am left speechless, as though I got caught having a bad idea. 

Victor: You specially got me here to supervise you, but you only wrote these few sentences the whole afternoon? 

MC: Yeah. Next time, I won’t ask you to be a supervisor! When you’re in front of me, my work efficiency takes a nose-dive. 

I reach out to take my notebook from his hand, then cover him with a blanket. Victor turns his head, his half-closed eyes meeting mine. 

It’s very rare for me to see such a burnt-out look in his eyes. Right now, I can only feel the emotions in my heart towards this person becoming a hundred times more tender. 

MC: Sleep for a while before going to LFG? I’ll wake you up at 7.30pm.

With the rigour of Victor’s schedule, several important meetings were cancelled at short notice so he could fly to Paris. After that, his return was delayed twice.

We already agreed that he’d return before Saturday, but it suddenly changed to Saturday itself...

This wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t an extremely troublesome matter. 

...and he still stubbornly said that he wasn’t tired.

I place my forefingers on his temples, making slow circles. After a while, a soft laugh drifts from his lips. 

Victor: [releases a sigh which sounds like a moan lol]...

Victor takes my right hand and encloses it in his palm, wordlessly pulling me closer to him. 

With this distance, every one of his breaths mingle with mine. I can’t help but bend down, pressing the corner of my lips to his fringe.

In the quiet darkness, I hear the frequency of our heartbeats and breathing mingling and becoming more and more synchronised.

Victor: ...there’s no need to worry about me. I haven’t reached the point where a dummy has to worry about me.

MC: Mm, I got it. 

I respond softly, but can’t hide the touch of peace in my smile. 

MC: ...I just can’t help it.

Can’t help but worry if you’re hungry or not, whether you're cold or not, whether you’re tired or not. 

Can’t help but want to see you, whether you’re in front of me or not.

Can’t help but reveal the smile in my brows and lips just because you surface in my mind. 

I look out the window - the clouds spread across the dim twilight and the stars are looming. The golden sunset and the quietness of the night meet at the end of the sky. 

The sun is about to set.

MC: Victor, I didn’t finish the interview outline before the sun set. Are you going to punish me? 

Victor: ...

The only response I get is the sound of his steady and peaceful breathing. 

I lower my head and look at his sleeping face. This familiar side profile has gotten slightly thinner over the span of just a few days. I reach out, stroking his cheek in mid-air.

Afraid to disturb him, I silently watch him.

MC: Sleep then.

MC: ...

MC: Sleep peacefully. 

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc victor #Victor's dates are always so comforting T^T

[wakaoujisenhime]

My congratulations with 200 followers! Can I ask scenario about Akashi's girlfriend suddenly finds out about his second identity, but she isn't scared and she accepts him?

A/N: So, with this one, I wasn’t entirely sure which setting I should put it in. I was between her finding out when he first ‘transformed’ and discovering it when he reverted back to his Teiko self. In the end, I decided to pick something in between and something entirely different, so I hope you’ll like what I came up with. ( ꈍДꈍ )

Tags: Akashi x reader ✅  SFW ✅  fluff ✅  slight angst ✅

image/art source: Twitter (art by eijo_q)

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

A slight tint of red - Akashi x reader

You’ve been looking at these heterochromatic eyes for as long as you can remember—those cold and lonely pair of eyes that belonged to your beloved boyfriend, Akashi.

The captain of Japan’s most popular and most feared team was unrivaled in many aspects, and that trait made him a highly respected individual amongst his peers. Unfortunately, that respect also bore negative feelings such as fear, hatred, and jealousy that were the main reasons people decided to avoid his presence.

But you were different. Those rumors didn’t face you in any way; if anything, they motivated you to actually find out more about the man who earned himself countless titles.

The moment you two first looked into each other’s eyes, shivers went down your spine, and if your memory didn’t betray you, then he probably felt the same way. Back then, you felt like you couldn’t move for a slight moment, but thanks to your friends and his teammates, who brought you back to reality, the two of you snapped out of it quicker than you might have wanted.

It took you both quite a while to actually start a conversation since he wasn’t usually the type to initiate such things. At the same time, you, on the other hand, were either too shy or unsure whether you interpreted the short connection you guys had correctly or not. But when you finally succeeded, neither of you had to struggle and find a suiting topic; the conversation just started developing on its own. And after a few months during which you had several interactions with the red-haired young man, it became evident that you had fallen in love with him, so now came the question whether you should confess to him or not, when and how...

Much to your surprise, you had the support of many of his classmates and basketball team members. They repeatedly encouraged you, saying just how good the two of you got along and how his mood had improved when he was with you. Needless to say, that boosted your confidence to a certain degree and gave you the needed courage to begin your quest.

Unfortunately for you, your attempts didn’t differ much from how you normally treated and talked to him. Still, you were determined to continue giving it your best until he either realizes it or until you found the best time to confess.

But your plans weren’t including the most important chess piece in this story, namely Akashi.

While you were forging one plan after the other, you were completely unaware of how the red-haired young man had seen past your actions and was already aware of the feelings you harbored for him. He knew, but he chose to remain silent and wait until you felt prepared enough to tell him.

And then one day, you finally stood before him with your cheeks slightly flushed and your eyes wandering but never focusing on the person before you. You were an adorable sight for him to behold, but he didn’t want to uselessly torture you any further, so he decided to initiate the dialogue.

“Is everything alright (Y/N)..?”

The gentleness in his voice caught you off guard, but it also helped to get the ball rolling, and before you knew, your confession was already in full swing. Firstly, you began reassuring him that everything was alright, that he needn’t worry about you, and that the reason you called him was a positive one. After a short break, you then proceeded to reveal all the feelings you’ve been harboring for him...

When you were done, he remained silent for a short while and gave you his answer...an answer that surprised you.

“Then today marks our first day as an official couple.”

——

The first few months went by pretty well. Your boyfriend had even made sure to divide his time between his training and you equally. He even made a weekly weekend date customary for the two of you, additionally making sure that the place you went to or the activity you did never repeated itself.

But what is a relationship between two people if only one person does the entire work?

That’s what you asked him one day. Akashi was surprised, of course, but he quickly understood why you’d say that, so he decided to tone down a bit and allow you to plan some of the dates as well.

A good and loyal man whom you could call your boyfriend, who made sure you were treated like a queen and whose yellow and red eyes were always only focused on you and you alone.

Could your life get more perfect?

Or at least that’s what outsiders and bystanders would think...

You see, no matter how much Akashi tried to smile at you, there was always something bugging you about it.

At first, you decided to ignore it and thought that it was your imagination and that all he needed was a little time until he could tell you what haunted his mind, but the longer you waited, the gloomier his expression grew, and it worried you. Not only were you not used to him appearing that distanced at times, but what hurt you the most was the fact that he wasn’t even intending on sharing anything with you.

Instead of doubting his trust in you, a more direct approach was in order, so you decided to just ask him yourself; all you needed was an opportunity, and what worked better than everyone’s beloved test period?

Next to your weekly dates and your monthly horseback riding expeditions, the two of you also organized a small tutoring group where you or some of Rakuzan’s basketball members would seek Akashi’s help in topics they didn’t understand. Luckily they were not always up for studying more than they had to, so the two of you got at least some privacy from time to time. So when the exam period started, you prayed to whichever deity you believed in, to give the two of you some time together.

The moment your finger pushed the doorbell on your boyfriend’s extravagant front door, you expected to be greeted by one of his butlers, but instead were greeted by a warm embrace from your beloved.

“Hope you won’t mind that today is going to be just the two of us.”

“Oh no, not at all!”

You were overjoyed to hear this but tried to appear as calm as you could while Akashi brought you to the living room, where some papers were already splayed out on a table.

After you had taken a seat and placed the snacks you had brought with you next to the tray with some of your favorite beverages, the two of you discussed what subjects and problems you’ll be going through today. Since you truly needed some help with a few subjects, your plan to talk to him had to be postponed for a short while.

When the two of you were about to move on to the next pile of tasks, you looked at your boyfriend’s profile and began: “Hey Akashi...it’s not school-related, but I have a small question for you. Is that ok?”

You saw his red eye shift its attention to you as he nodded his head slightly, a small smile adorning his lips.

Here goes nothing...

“So, I’ve noticed that there are times during which you tend to look quite sad and troubled. At first, I thought that whatever it was, you just needed some time to process it yourself until you could tell me. Still, that plan backfired quite a bit, since your expression has been getting worse,” you stilled to let him process your line of thoughts first, and then you resumed, “I just hope that you know how much I care for you, and if I have given you the impression that I don’t, then let me apologize. Akashi, I truly care for you, more than you might think...and more than I sometimes show, so I would be really happy if you could at least entrust me with some of the thoughts that have occupied your mind.”

You took another break to look at the man next to you and immediately noticed how much his body had tensed up. Whatever you chose to say next was about to either provoke a change in your relationship or let it circle around the same iceberg as before. So you mustered all the courage within you, took his hand, squeezing it, and said: “I love you Akashi, but if we don’t talk this out now, I’m not sure if we’ll have another chance like this...”

Silence...

Whatever you just said had quite an impact on your boyfriend, more than you ever expected. His entire face went pale, and his eyes seemed unable to focus on you or your face anymore. You were worried that this topic might’ve been too big of a landmine for your fresh relationship, but there was no way for you to return anymore, so you had no choice but to go through with it.

Akashi sighed and stood up, his back turned to you. He looked so lonely that you couldn’t help but follow his lead and stand a few meters behind him, leaving your boyfriend enough free space but also maintaining a certain closeness, just in case he needed an embrace or anything of that sort.

Another short period of silence followed during which the red-haired young man looked out of his living room’s window and apparently tried to calm his nerves down for the upcoming talk.

“(Y/N), there’s something I’ve been...keeping from you for quite a while.”

I knew it...

It was no secret that you expected that to be the case, but you couldn’t help but be curious as to what that secret was, so in order to tame your curiosity and stop yourself from showering him with countless questions, you bit your lower lip. You already had a few hunches as to what that secret might or might not be, but you remained silent and waited for him to finally tell you what’s been on his mind for so long...

His lips were moving, his eyes were focused on one of the many random trees in his courtyard, his hands were trembling, and all you could do was stand there and listen...listen to the most unexpected confession.

“A...second personality, you say?”

Akashi nods, and even though he turns around, his eyes never meet yours; they just blankly stare at something behind you. Usually, you would’ve followed his view, but you already knew what those beautiful eyes of his were fixated on.

His childhood photos...

Even if his confession of having a second personality sounded quite far-fetched at first, now that the both of you were silent, you had some time to actually think it over, and much to your surprise, it made sense...to a certain degree, at least. His eye’s sudden change in color and the abrupt disappearance of his angelic smile from his middle school’s days were drastic developments in a brief span of time, judging by the intervals in which the photos were taken. When you first noticed this peculiarity, you thought that either something on a biological level or something bad in general had happened, so you had made up your mind to drop it for the time being. Who would’ve thought that you’d be getting an answer to that as well today?

“I-I’m sorry (Y/N)...if my story sounds too unbelievable or too unrealistic for you, then please feel free to label it as some kind of fairytale I came up with to put your mind at ease.“

You squinted your eyes, trying to comprehend just what kind of nonsense your boyfriend was coming up with, and before you could even think of an answer, your mouth was already open, throwing the first things that came to your mind at him.

“What if I choose to believe you, though? What would you do then Akashi? Would you push me away like all the other times, or would you keep on pretending that everything’s alright? Huh? Tell me...“

The young man was clearly taken aback by your direct questions, but he recovered quickly and turned his back to you, mumbling something about you not being able to grasp the true meaning behind his words and how you couldn’t handle his true self.

He must’ve thought that you weren’t going to hear his self-talk, but you did...and what you heard made you extremely mad. Pure rage clouded your judgment, and the next thing you knew was how Akashi’s back was pressed against the wall and how your hands were gripping his shirt’s collar.

“How dare you say something like that?! Do you really think that I’m that insensible and shallow?”

You continuously threw your feelings and thoughts at him, not noticing just how worked up you truly were. At one point, though, Akashi just couldn’t take it anymore and wrapped his arms around your trembling body, pulling it towards his chest where you could continue to cry. Now that you were enveloped in that oh so familiar warmth, you just couldn’t keep on screaming at him, so you just closed your eyes, held onto him, and tried stopping your tears from ruining his already crumpled shirt. While you were doing that, he placed his hand on top of your head and stroked it gently, calming you down even further.

“(Y/N)...I’m truly sorry, I never intended to doubt you; it’s just tha-“

“Don’t apologize Akashi...I understand”

He wanted to tell you just how scared he was of your reaction because you were one of the few people he trusted enough to tell this to, and all the others who saw, experienced, and even knew of his change ended up being either weirded out or too scared. 

But you were different, and even if he knew that, he just couldn’t risk losing the light of his life, and that’s why he decided to keep it a secret from you, up until now. When he saw how mad you got for his sake, how sad it made you the moment you found out just how heavy this has weighed on his mind, it made him understand that even if you were scared somewhere deep down, you’d still look for a way to make him feel better and try your best to understand him. 

That realization was all he needed as he gently planted a featherlight kiss on the top of your head and raised your chin so that you could look him directly into the eyes.

At that moment, you could’ve sworn that his iconic yellow eye had a slight tint of red in it. 

I love you...

#knb scenarios #knb x reader #akashi x reader #akashi seijiro x reader #knb fluff #knb angst #━𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽'𝚂 𝙴𝙲𝙷𝙾

[greymochii]

[ATEEZ] Wooyoung; I Want You

Title: I Want You

Characters: Wooyoung x OC

Word Count: 4400

Genre: Oneshot, Smut

Warning: Finger fucking, Clit stimulation, Deep penetration (kinda)

Summary: I love Wooyoung. But I wasn’t entirely sure if i loved him as my best friend or as a lover. I lust for him, I yearn for him... But I wasn’t sure if he wanted me. We always do things together, that includes sleeping in each others’ bed. What happened next wasn’t what I expected.

The night was warm and humid, so I decided to ditch the oversized jersey top and sleep in only my underwear. I’ve stopped wearing bras to sleep for a couple of years now, one particular reason was because it was just uncomfortable. It was a quarter after 9PM and Wooyoung still wasn’t home yet, but I wasn’t that worried as he nearly every day comes home late. Without any further thoughts, I turned the nightstand lamp off and tried to fall asleep. For half an hour, I’ve been staring at the ceiling, becoming unusually worried about Wooyoung. 

Wooyoung and I are best friends and we’ve been living in the same house for two years now. He has his own room and I have mine, but sometimes, we’ve come and sleep in each other’s room when we feel like it. Our relationship is pretty platonic but lately, I’ve been getting this confusing feelings for Wooyoung. I’d get agitated when other girls get too close to him or even tries to flirt with him. His teasing has become more frequent and it comes to a point where I’d snap at him. Sometimes, he can take my irate reaction but other times, he’d feel hurt and I’d feel bad and apologise to him. He and I have been best friends for six years and this is the first time I’ve ever felt perplexed with my own feelings.

As I tried to block out any thoughts, be it about Wooyoung or not, I heard the front door unlock. Jolting out of bed, I put on my oversized top and straightened my hair, and opened my bedroom door just in time to see Wooyoung walking passed by me. He was clad in his slightly oversized muscle tank and sweatpants, and for a minute there, I thought he looked so hot.

When he saw me, he stopped and smiled at me. His smile is making me feel things. Things that I can’t even explain. I was feeling this hot sensation coursing through my body and I could feel my cheeks flushed. “<y/n>. You’re still awake?”

Stuttering, I gave him an awkward smile and nodded. “Uh, yeah. Can’t sleep.”

“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows and took a step forward and I leaned back slightly. He was so close, I could feel his warm breath on my face. He placed the back of his hand on my forehead and looked at me worryingly. “You’re not sick, are you? I can go get you some water and medicine. Do yo-”

“No, no. I’m not sick…” My voice trailed and I wasn’t sure what was going on with me. Bashful, I said good night and shut the door in his face, feeling like a complete idiot. “What a fucking idiot.” Wooyoung was so confused, he stared at my door and was about to knock but stopped himself. Thinking I was just too tired, he walked off, occasionally glancing at my door. 

I could hear the shower running and I couldn’t help myself but to imagine myself in the shower with him. Our naked bodies grazing each other under the hot shower, and Wooyoung covering my neck and shoulders with hickeys. His hardened member wedged in between my thighs… I stopped myself before it went too far and rubbed my face in frustration. I decided to get a glass of water to calm my nerves down. The shower was still running when I passed by the toilet to get to the kitchen. I downed the cup in a matter of seconds and was about to pour another cup when I stopped hearing the running shower. I turned and was dazed by the sight that was present before me. Wooyoung’s wet hair was pushed back and his upper body was still dripping wet from the shower. The only part that was covered was from his waist down to above his knees, with a towel that was so brand new. He wasn’t muscular and even had a slight tummy but I thought that was cute and normal. Wooyoung caught me staring at his half-naked and wet body and smirked at me, eyeing me from head to toe. Clearing my throat, I turned back to the sink and poured myself another cup, downing it as quickly as I could just so I can get away from the intense situation. Right when I was about to put my mug away, I felt a presence towering behind me and an arm reached out above me to grab a mug. I could feel my breathing getting caught in my throat and was frozen solid in my spot for a few seconds. Mustering up the courage, I turned slightly and Wooyoung was beside me, glancing at me as he poured himself a cup of water. The same smirk was still plastered on his face and I have never so much wanted to slap his face so bad. Excusing myself, I was about to walk out of the kitchen when Wooyoung spoke up.

“Sleeping in already?”

I jumped a little and swivelled in his direction, my standing stance at an awkward position. Shrugging my shoulders, I said,”Yeah. It’s already 10:05PM, I’m getting up early for a run tomorrow morning.”

Wooyoung nodded but I saw a look of disappointment in his eyes. “Would you stay up with me for a bit?”

“What?”

Shifting his weight, Wooyoung leaned against the sink and looked at me very intensely. His eyes were so focused on me, I felt a little uneasy. “I said, would you stay up with me for a bit?”

“F-for what?”

“A chat. We haven’t talked much since we’ve got classes happening at different timings.” I was taken aback and I wanted to say yes, but the word refused to come out and just sits in on the back of my throat. I don’t know if I was able to focus on what he was going to say as he was clad only in a towel that’s sitting around his waist. “<y/n>?”

“Hm?”

“It’s ok if you don’t want to, I understand.”

“Oh crap, no-yeah. I’ll stay up… with you.” I could feel my body trembling a little bit and for some reason, I could feel myself getting for him. “What the fuck?”

Wooyoung stopped and glanced at me. “What was that?”

“What?”

“I thought I heard you say “What the fuck”...” His brows were furrowed and gave me a quizzical look. Panicking, I grabbed the same mug I used earlier on and poured another glass of water. “<y/n>, are you really ok? You’ve been acting a little strange since the time I came home.”

“Wooyoung please. Why wouldn’t I be ok?” I rolled my eyes at him and took a seat at the dining table. Wooyoung was still standing near his chair and was staring at me.

“Then why is your face red?” Stunned, I brought my hand to my face and felt the heat rising in my cheeks. 

Panicking, yet again, my mind was working like an engine trying to find a good excuse. “I-uh… it’s because yo-you’re…”

“I’m what?” Wooyoung took several steps towards me, standing at a feet away. “<y/n>, I’m what?”

“You’re half-naked, Wooyoung,” I whispered softly, averting my gaze to the ground. With raised brows, Wooyoung burst into fits of laughter and I found myself cowering even smaller in my seat. “<y/n>, we’ve been best friends for six years… we have seen each other half-naked most of the time. You’d parade around the house only in your panties and bra and I didn’t mind it. I’m so confused.”

“Yeah, I’m confused too, ok. Can we please drop it?” I snapped, grunting under my breath. I didn’t mean to snap at him like that but I hated how he was so close to finding out why I was actually really blushing.

Wooyoung puts his hands up in surrender and took a seat next to me. He puts his face in his hand that was perched on the table and observed my face. “How’re you?”

“Fine.” I was fidgeting in my seat and tried my best to act normal but his towel-clad body was making it hard for me to focus and on top of that, I could feel myself getting wet for him. 

“Fine? That’s it? Nothing about school? Work?”

“What do you want to know, Wooyoung?” I glanced at him for the first time in a while after getting embarrassed by him.

Shrugging his shoulders, Wooyoung smiled sweetly at me. “Everything, <y/n>. We’ve not talked for so long and now that we’re here right now, you won’t tell me anything. I’m just… a little perplexed with your behaviour.”

Sighing, I turned to Wooyoung and took his hand in mind. “I’m sorry. I just… it’s been so busy these past few weeks, I just couldn’t bring myself to be near anyone. The stress and pressure is killing me, but I’m trying to be a little bit more relaxed.”

“I know you are. But don’t hold back, just tell me everything.” Looking at him, I saw a look of worry and at the same time, endearment. I saw the look of love, but I know that he wasn’t in love with me. I wasn’t heartbroken or anything, but maybe upset. Upset that he wouldn’t be able to understand how I feel about him. Feinting a fake smile, I nodded and told him everything. Everything except about my feelings for him.

We spoke and laughed and lost track of time, and by the time we were running out of things to talk about, we sat in silence. I glanced at Wooyoung and his hair was all dried up. His soft black hair fell in front of his face and instinctively, I reached over and pushed it back. Wooyoung was taken aback by my touch and so was I. Wooyoung didn’t flinch and I didn’t pull my hand back either, instead, I let it fall slowly to his face and then to his neck.

“<y/n>.” His voice was unusually low, and I noticed that he spoke my name very sensually. He never calls my name like that and I was starting to feel a knot in my stomach. Ignoring the overwhelming feelings, I smiled weakly.

“Yes?”

“What do you think of me?” I looked at him and his face was so serious, it wasn’t common to see him this serious.

Slowly pulling my hand back, I blinked and cleared my throat. I wasn’t sure what to say or what he wanted to hear, but being the best friend that I was, I simply said,”A pain in the ass. You’re a great pain in the ass. But you’re also a good listener and a joker.”

I noticed his eyes fell and he leaned back a little bit in his chair, unsure of what to process of what I have just said. “That’s it? Nothing else?”

“I’m not sure what you want to me to say, Woo. You’re my best friend, and I adore and cherish you for who you are and what you’ve done for me.” 

Wooyoung sighed and ran his hand through his hair. The way it fell across his face made the situation even hotter and I was feeling the heated sensation creeping once again.

“Do you love me?” Wooyoung’s eyes were sad and I could feel my heart breaking. I loved him, yes. But I wasn’t sure if I loved him as my best friend or as a lover and I didn’t want to give mixed feelings.

“Yes, Woo. As a best friend. I love you as a best friend.” 

“Best friend? I see… I see.”

I could tell he was disappointed but I couldn’t bring myself to explain it to him. Before I could say anything else, he got up, kissed my forehead and bid me goodnight. I sat there with my head in my hands, feeling the frustration building up inside of me. I decided to just head to bed and not think about it. 

It was nearly 2AM when I went to bed. Wooyoung’s probably asleep by now, I asked myself. I wasn’t trying to let it bother me, but it did. As I lay my head down on my pillow, I could feel my eyelids fluttering. Soon enough, I was asleep.

As I stirred in bed, I felt another warm body beside me. My eyes bolted wide open and before I could turn, Wooyoung pulled me closer to him. I could feel his body heat radiating under the covers and then I realised that he was stark naked. Of all the times we’ve slept with each other in either of our beds, he never sleeps naked. I could feel my heart palpitating and I swallowed hard at the thought of having a nude Wooyoung sleeping in the same bed as me. The back of my head was facing him but my body was facing upwards. I didn’t even realise he had one arm under my head as I was a light sleeper and would have awoken at the slightest sound or movement. His other hand was on my stomach and I could feel him caressing it so gently. His gentle caresses made me shudder but I tried not to make it too obvious. I could feel my vagina throbbing and I tried to squeeze my thighs together to control myself. I could tell Wooyoung was still awake from the way he was playing his fingers on my stomach but I didn’t want to face him. He pulled me even closer and as his face was in my hair, I closed my eyes and let myself melt in his embrace. Sensing that I was awake, Wooyoung puts one leg over mine, separating them, making me whimper a little. Now that he knows that I was fully awake, Wooyoung worked his hand down to the hem of panties and tugged on it.

Startled, I grabbed his hand and stopped him. “Woo, what are you doing?”

He didn’t answer but instead, pushed my hand away and continued to push his hand down on my wet pussy. I quivered at his touch and I could feel him playing with my clit. He was stroking it very gently, sending shivers down my spine. I could feel my breath hitching and soft moans left my dry lips as he stroked my clit gently before applying more pressure and then rubbing it hard. I tried to squeeze my thighs again but Wooyoung’s thick thighs held mine in place and continued to masturbate me. I was sent into a whirlpool of feelings, my head spinning from Wooyoung’s hard rubbing on my clit. I arched my back as his rubbing got harder, making me exhale a sharp gasp.

“W-wooyoung, wh-what are you…” 

“Shh. Don’t talk. Let me do the work.” His finger was working even harder on my clit, sending me into a moaning frenzy as I grabbed onto the bed sheet for support. His other arm was wrapped around my shoulder as he pulled me closer to him. I could feel his hard cock grazing against my clothed back and it was making me lose my mind. 

I was at my peak and before I could orgasm, Wooyoung pulled his hand away. My face was buried into the pillow, my hot breath bouncing on my face from my heavy breathing. Wooyoung pulled his hand from under my head and turned me over, my eyes still blurry from the masturbation. 

“Lift your ass up,” Wooyoung commanded, his voice low and serious. I did as what he asked and he removed the cloth from my body before tossing it beside my bed. I was still breathing hard and my mind was all over the place. I wasn’t sure what was going on, certainly not with how Wooyoung had masturbated me. Positioning himself in between my legs, Wooyoung bent down on me, his one forearm on the side of my head. I quickly grabbed hold of his arm from under and my other arm gripping onto the bed sheet under my pillow very tightly. His other hand was still on my pussy and as he rubbed my dripping pussy, he inserted a digit into my vagina, slowly pushing in and out. I gasped at his finger penetration and whimpered as his finger began pumping in and out of my throbbing pussy.

“Woo-Wooyoung, please stop,” I croaked as he worked his finger into my hole. He slowed down and then inserted another finger, pumping again at my aching hole. I was panting and moaning, my back arching so high up, he had to push my body back down with his weight.

He gradually stopped pumping with his fingers and slowly pulled them out. I was basically left unfinished for the second time and I was frustrated that he stopped. Wooyoung supported himself on both forearms and was just sitting on top of me quietly for a minute or two. 

“What’s gotten into you?” I asked, my voice raspy and shaky. I was still holding onto him when I asked, and though I didn’t verbally said it, I was mentally begging for him to continue what he started.

He started stroking my hair and then caressed my face, getting me all confused. I grabbed one of his upper arms and lightly squeezed it. I don’t know why I did that, but I still did it anyway. Even though it was dark and no lights were turned on, I could make out Wooyoung’s features. I slowly traced his jawline and then his lips, and Wooyoung crashed his lips with mine, startling me. 

It was gentle and soft, but it got more intense as Wooyoung let his tongue trailed into my mouth and it went into a sloppy and passionate make out session. My pussy was still throbbing and I wanted Wooyoung to insert himself inside of me right there and then. He pulled away from me and looked at me with endearing eyes.

“I love you, <y/n>.” I was speechless. Right when I thought he didn’t and wouldn’t have feelings for me, here he was, on top of me and ready to fuck me, profressing his love for me mid-session.

“Wooyoung, I-...”

“It’s ok. You don’t have to tell my anything.” Wooyoung shifted in his position and I could feel his solid cock pressed against my vagina. I gasped and closed my eyes as I tried to catch my breath. “<y/n>, I wanna be inside of you right now.”

Without even thinking twice, I opened my eyes and stared at him. “Do it.”

Wooyoung pushed in without a warning and loud moans echoed between us. I was gasping for air as Wooyoung remained very still and unmoving. He had his face buried in my neck and I hugged his head with one hand while the other was on his waist. I could hear his heavy breathing against my ear and he was trailing soft kisses on my neck and shoulder. “You’re really tight right now.” He perched on his forearm and the other on his palm and stared down at me. “I won’t move until you tell me that I can.”

Even during sex, Wooyoung was considerate and I thought that was cute but odd. I held onto his arm and gave it a soft massage. I could feel my walls throbbing against his erect genitalia and he was ready to move but was waiting for my command. He bent down again, dropping soft kisses on my lips.

“I love you, you know that right?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Chuckling, I said,”I know. You told me not too long ago.” He still wasn’t moving and was desperately waiting for me to give the command. I could feel my body relaxing and I was ready. Ready for Wooyoung to fill me with pleasure. “Wooyoung, move.”

Smirking, Wooyoung dipped in for another kiss and at the same time, began sliding in and out. Soft moans spewed out of my mouth and I hugged his body so tightly, I could feel his heartbeat beating against his chest. Wooyoung brought one hand to the nape of neck and tipped my chin with his thumb, kissing me as he thrusted in and out of me. Wooyoung groaned in between kisses and would look down at where our bodies were connected.

His soft and slow strokes sent me reeling into the bed sheet, his hard length rubbing against my walls. Wooyoung tucked his arms under me and dipped his head into my shoulder as he gradually quickened his pace, making me whimper.

“W-Woo… young… Oh, fuck.” I moaned as his thrusts got faster and harder, my body twitching at every stroke. Wooyoung dropped one hand to my mount and groped it as he slides in and out of greedily. He puts his mouth to my breast and with his warm tongue, began playing with my swollen and sore nipple. Soft mewls echoed around the room and I could feel my insides burning up. 

As Wooyoung stroked my sensitive spots, I buckled my hips and Wooyoung grabbed my butt cheeks and began pounding even harder, while he sat on his knees. His hard thrusts sent me rolling my head back into the pillow, my raspy moans and pants filled the air. Wooyoung groaned as he thrusted into me, his hips moving rapidly. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Wooyoung whispered as he pulled me up to my knees. I was straddled onto his thighs, but his thick cock never left my pussy. Hugging each other, we began rocking our bodies and I could feel my breath getting caught at the back of my throat. “I want you, <y/n>. I so fucking want you right now.”

He dropped me back onto the bed and instead of going back into our original position, Wooyoung was positioned behind me and was frantically searching for my pussy with his sore dick. His hot breath was dancing on my back, and I turned to look at him. He saw me looking at him, and right before I could say anything, he penetrated me again, making me roll my upper body forward. Wooyoung grabbed hold of my waist and lifted my leg up while he thrusted in and out of me. Our moans were synchronised and my hand managed to grab hold of his ass and squeezed it so tightly. Wooyoung grunted and began nibbling on my neck. His hot breath was turning me on even more and I leaned my head back against his and let him take control of me. 

His shaky moans lingered in my ear and I could feel my breasts moving to the rhythm of his thrusts. He released my leg and groped my breast, pinching at my nipple. I flinched at his touch and Wooyoung kissed my shoulder, making me whimper.

“Baby, you’re so hot right now. I want you, I need you.” Wooyoung breathed into my ear as he increased his pace, my breath hitching and my body twitching at his hard thrusts. He turned me on my back and grabbed my waist as he pushed himself in again, his strokes vibrating throughout my body.

“Wooyoung… “ I whimpered as his pounding got harder and faster. My breathing was erratic and I was beginning to see stars right above my head. He was fucking me so hard, I was about to lose my sanity. “Go harder, p-please.”

“As you wish.” Wooyoung dropped his rhythm but was thrusting so hard, my back was arched up so high my head rolled back into the pillow. I could feel my walls clenching against Wooyoung’s cock as he stretched me out. My head felt so light and my vision was getting all blurry, and my moans turned into screams. Wooyoung was gripping onto my waist so tightly, I could feel his nails digging into my skin. 

His lengthy girth slid in and out with great force, I struggled to catch my breath. Wooyoung dropped down onto my body again, his clammy body rocking against mine. He bowed his head with mine, a bead of sweat trickling down onto my forehead from his damp hair.

“<y/n>, I’m about to… OH!” Wooyoung was panting heavily and his breathing was ragged. 

“So am… hah-I...” I breathed staggeringly as I hugged his neck. I could feel my hips buckling and Wooyoung took this opportunity to give me the last few deep pounds before coming onto me. Hot liquid spurts into my cervix and Wooyoung slowed his thrusts before coming to a complete stop, his breathing loud and heavy. He gently dropped on top of me and I hugged him as I massaged his sweaty back. 

I could feel the cum spilling out of my vagina and down to my bed sheet. Wooyoung carefully pulled out and went out of my room. He came back with towels and a big bowl of warm water. He gently cleaned me down and when he was done, pulled me in for a cuddle. He spooned me and we basically laid in silence, our breathing finally stabilising normally. He buried his face into my back and dropped pecks occasionally, making me giggle.

“I lied.” My voice was still raspy from all the staggered breathing. Wooyoung lifted his head, his brows furrowed.

“About?”

I turned my head slowly, our faces only an inch apart. “Us.”

Confusion was smeared across Wooyoung’s face and I swivelled so I was facing him fully. Wooyoung’s hand was on my waist but his face was still streaked with confusion. “What about us?”

Sighing softly, I smiled and cupped his face with one hand, reaching over to kiss his soft and plump lips. Wooyoung reciprocated but pulled away not long after, waiting for my reply. I bit down on my lower lip and watched as his expression softened.

“I love you. I really… do… fucking love you,” I whispered, caressing his lips. I could see his eyes litting up and he knew what I meant.

He grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger, teasing my lips with his. “Not… as best friends?”

“No. I want to be yours. I’m all yours now.” Relieved to hear and know that, Wooyoung kissed me softly on the lips, quietly chanting how much he loves me in between our kisses. 

#ateez #ateez wooyoung #jung wooyoung #wooyoung x reader #ateez smut #ateez imagine #ateez oneshot #q:oneshot #ateez fanfic #wooyoung smut

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): Over the weekend, an ABC/Washington Post poll found that most Democrats now back former Vice President Joe Biden, but enthusiasm for his candidacy was, on the other hand, pretty lackluster.

Just 24 percent of his supporters said they were “very” enthusiastic about supporting him. This marked the lowest level of enthusiasm for a Democratic presidential candidate that ABC/Washington Post has found in the last 20 years. And perhaps even more troubling for Biden was that nearly twice as many of President Trump’s supporters (53 percent) said they were “very” enthusiastic about his candidacy.

This, of course, has sparked comparisons to 2016 when former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton found herself in a similar situation — running neck-and-neck with Trump and with only 32 percent saying they were “very” enthusiastic about supporting her in September 2016. Biden, of course, is already 8 points below that mark now.

So does Biden have an enthusiasm problem? What’s the case for why he might and the case for why we shouldn’t read too much into this now?

nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, elections analyst): I don’t think this is something Biden should worry about, at least not right now. We’ve just come off a knock-down, drag-out, 15-month-long primary fight. And some would argue it’s still going on, with Sen. Bernie Sanders still contesting the nomination!

It’s a lot to ask for the party to be totally united at this early juncture. I’d guess that, by September, Biden will have as good or better enthusiasm numbers as Clinton did in September 2016.

natesilver (Nate Silver, editor in chief): It feels so quaint to be debating a horse-race question in the middle of a pandemic.

But basically: I don’t think enthusiasm is a terribly meaningful indicator above and beyond what is already reflected in polls.

Sanders’s voters were more enthusiastic than Biden’s in the primaries. But he’s actually tended to underperform his polls. Sometimes higher enthusiasm means you have a narrower base, and the other candidate has more room to turn out undecideds, etc.

An important qualification to all of this is that most of the polls so far are conducted among registered voters when really we want to see likely voter polls, which won’t really be reliable for another several months.

nrakich: Yeah, Biden leads in most general election national polls right now, but likely-voter polls tend to be a few points better for Republicans than registered-voter polls, and as Nate says, we don’t have a ton of these polls right now.

perry (Perry Bacon Jr., senior writer): It’s hard to say much about enthusiasm right now since we are still in the midst of the Demcoratic primary ending. For instance, I think enthusiasm around him could still grow, especially after Barack and Michelle Obama have enthusiastically endorsed him, Sanders is behind him, and he has picked a running mate who perhaps excites the party.

sarahf: That’s fair, but how do we reconcile that Trump’s very enthusiastic support is so much higher than Biden’s — 29 points?

perry: Trump is the Republican Party’s candidate, and he just won his primary with overwhelming support. The party is unified behind him. People have voted for him once. I’m not surprised his supporters are fairly enthusiastic about him.

natesilver: I don’t care how much higher a quality is that doesn’t matter.

But honestly, I think this discussion is premature in some ways. The general election campaign hasn’t begun. The primary campaign is in a zombie-like state between being sort of finished and sort of not.

We’re in the midst of a pandemic. And we don’t have very many likely-voter polls, and to the extent we do, they’re not liable to be very reliable anyway at this early stage.

Perhaps most importantly, Democrats can be very enthusiastic about beating Trump even if they’re not that enthusiastic about Biden.

perry: Right, that’s the most important thing.

nrakich: Yeah, I find it hard to get worked up by any general-election polling at this point. We’re still so early in this massive news story that could significantly help or hurt Trump.

sarahf: But is it a bad sign for Biden — and enthusiasm for his campaign — that 15 percent of Sanders supporters in the ABC poll say they’ll vote for Trump?

natesilver: Twelve percent of Sanders primary voters voted for Trump in 2016, and another 14 percent voted for a third-party candidate or didn’t vote. So those numbers are in line with four years ago. And there are fewer Sanders voters than there were four years ago, so if anything those numbers are better for Biden than they were for Clinton.

nrakich: Yeah, historically, that would be a totally normal number. In addition to the numbers Nate cites for 2016, another study found that 25 percent of Clinton voters voted for McCain over Obama in 2008.

So it’s not like this is something past presidential candidates haven’t had to overcome as well. It can make a difference in a close election, but bigger factors (e.g., the national environment, the economy) will probably determine the outcome in the end.

sarahf: OK. So what I’m hearing is that the idea that Biden has a real enthusiasm gap is — at least at this point — overrated! But isn’t it at least somewhat worrisome that there now appears to be an effort to draft New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo for president?

natesilver: Ohhhhh Sarah, this is such trollbait.

nrakich: Let’s be clear — that “ooh, Andrew Cuomo should run for president!” talk is utterly nonsensical, non-serious and half-baked.

sarahf: It is! I’m not defending it. But look at what happened when that talk took off last fall. Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick both entered the race as opposed to throwing their support behind someone else.

natesilver: People don’t understand the process. People think you can magically wave a magic wand and that Cuomo becomes the nominee.

Look, if Biden drops out for some reason (health, scandal, etc.), then, obviously, you’ll need a different nominee.

And I do think Cuomo might be the second-most likely nominee, after Biden.

If you need an emergency replacement nominee because Biden drops out, he’s fairly compatible with Biden ideologically.

And frankly, the “emergency replacement” scenario — while unlikely — is still probably more likely than “Bernie wins all remaining contests by 20 points and wins a pledged-delegate plurality” scenario.

nrakich: I do wonder to what extent people actually believe/want Cuomo to be the nominee, and how much is just a fun daydream.

perry: I live in Kentucky. People are suddenly talking very positively about our Gov. Andy Beshear, who is a Democrat. This is in part because Trump is doing press conferences in which he ignores the evidence and seems as interested in defending himself as he is in addressing the issues. So Cuomo comes off well in comparison, as do other governors, like Ohio’s Mike DeWine, a Republican.

It also helps that Cuomo is doing a lot of media and lives in the media capital of the United States. Plenty of governors would be getting buzz if they were doing a competent job and were based in NYC, for example, Gavin Newsom (California), Jay Inslee (Washington), Beshear, DeWine.

nrakich: I think the Cuomo thing — both talk of him becoming the nominee and his role as a leader on the coronavirus in general — has been overinflated by the New York-centric media.

perry: Also, Biden has not been super-impressive in his media appearances, so there is that.

Cuomo has been better on that front, as have other governors.

sarahf: But Biden has been kind of missing from the coronavirus response, right? Part of that is because, as you all point out, he’s not a current governor tasked with spearheading preventive measures in his state, but it does seem as if it’s harder for him to have a natural place in the conversation.

natesilver: I don’t think anything Biden’s doing right now matters very much.

He’s also done more than the media has generally acknowledged.

perry: I think Biden is in the conversation. But his general ideas (Trump should listen to the medical experts, social distancing should continue) are what basically the media, governors, experts, everyone else is saying. Biden is not trying to stand out in that conversation or be interesting, which I think is normatively good. He is not offering weird ideas to stand out.

natesilver: The narrative is dumb. It’s always dumb at this stage of the campaign, when the primary winner has in all probability been decided but it’s not technically over yet. It would be a lot worse if not for coronavirus since the media would have a lot more news cycles to fill with fake drama.

nrakich: Yeah, Sarah, Biden hasn’t been as much of a presence on our TV sets, but I don’t think that’s his fault, as Nate pointed out. I think cable news just hasn’t been giving him a lot of airtime. The other day, major networks decided to air Cuomo’s briefing on the coronavirus instead of Biden’s speech.

But what Biden has to say on the coronavirus is more relevant to a majority of the country.

natesilver: It shouldn’t give him a lot of airtime!

Biden’s not hugely relevant at the moment.

nrakich: I think they should give him more than Cuomo! Biden might be president at this time next year. Cuomo governs just 6 percent of the country.

natesilver: Cuomo is dealing with the realities on the ground in a way Biden isn’t. And New York has a lot more than 6 percent of coronavirus cases.

He’s also doing a pretty effective job of communicating about coronavirus data and where the state and the country is in combating the epidemic.

I don’t think he’d get as much press coverage if he hadn’t been doing a good job with the communication side of things. It’s earned media in the truest sense of the word.

sarahf: That’s fair. A lot of what’s happening now is outside of Biden’s control, and obviously, there’s a lot we can’t answer, but Americans still rate Trump really highly on the economy — 57 percent said they approve of how he’s handling it, which marked a new high for him in that same ABC/WaPo poll. What’s more, Trump led Biden on this metric, 50 to 42 percent. Couldn’t that pose a real problem for Biden moving forward, especially if it’s harder for him to be a part of the conversation now?

nrakich: I think this is Exhibit A for it being too early to say anything. It seems like the economy is going to be in real trouble. If unemployment hits 30 percent or the gross domestic product growth rate is -15 percent, I don’t think Americans will continue to approve of Trump’s handling of the economy.

natesilver: No, I don’t think anything about the polls right now tells us very much about what the situation is likely to look like in September, or November.

People haven’t been living with this for very long. A lot of the consequences haven’t happened yet. And after the consequences, there’s the opportunity for a rebound, or a second wave.

You just have to be patient. Right now, I spend a lot more time looking at, say, the number of new COVID-19 cases in Italy than at Trump’s approval rating. I’d argue that the former tells us more about his reelection odds than the latter, since it tells us something about the extent to which a coronavirus epidemic can slow down post-peak.

sarahf: I can’t help but think that part of the narrative is being set now, though, about Biden having an enthusiasm problem. Of course, it could be that enthusiasm for Biden doesn’t really matter because enthusiasm to elect anyone but Trump is a bigger motivating factor, but I do wonder how that plays out in the coming months. Even if the enthusiasm gap isn’t real, could the perception of one still hurt Biden?

natesilver: Just one troll question after another.

sarahf: I know! But I think people are thinking about this — and even if it’s premature now — I do wonder how it takes root, even when it shouldn’t.

nrakich: That’s interesting, Sarah. Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if cable news continually covers Biden with the implication that he is somehow inadequate or not up to the task of beating Trump. I don’t know if that could become a self-fulfilling prophecy or not.

natesilver: I think if anything people tend to overlearn the lessons of the most recent election. A lot of the templates that people applied from the 2016 primaries to the 2020 primaries led to completely wrong predictions, like vastly understating Biden’s chances.

The fact that Democrats are worried about an enthusiasm gap because of 2016 could easily help Biden because it will scare Democrats into voting.

nrakich: I certainly agree that people try way too hard to retrofit the lessons of the previous election. To many (especially those with an anti-Sanders agenda), Clinton lost because Sanders voters weren’t united around her. But can’t it just be enough that she lost because it was an extremely tight election and that happens sometimes?

perry: Biden could very well lose the general election. And he could lose in the same way that Clinton did — a center-left Democrat wins the primary on the strength of older voters, particularly older black voters, but then loses in the general, with Trump winning in key swing states even as he loses the national popular vote.

But Clinton almost won and Biden very much could win. I don’t think Biden has an enthusiasm “problem,” but having enthusiastic supporters who are donating a lot of money, volunteering and eventually turning out to vote in large numbers always helps. So getting as much of Sanders’s crowd on board as possible will be useful for Biden.

Do I think it would be better for Biden if polls showed people were excited to vote for him? Yes, because I do think there is the potential that “people are holding their nose and voting for Biden” becomes a narrative.

nrakich: I also think a lot of the problem is that no one media members or the Twitterati know personally is enthusiastic to vote for Biden. Which of course speaks to the bubbles they live in. But that can have real effects on the narrative, as Perry said.

perry: But it’s hard for me to look at these polls right now and say Biden has an actual enthusiasm problem — or really many problems at all.

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #A FiveThirtyEight Chat

[foreverbeingthunderbuddy]

Feeling Hot

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Request: “Would i be able to request a one shot (ok this will sound so cliche but) with bucky and they're forced to stay in a room together at a hotel (ALSO can u make them have to share a bed???) , but they hate each other (i'm a sucker for angst) and the ac stoped working so it's super hot and the complains about it forever and bucky presses her to the mattress and says "if you don't stop going on about how hot it is, i'll give you a reason to feel hot" if u don't wanna its cool tho!!!” by anonymous

Warnings: ummmm,,,,,,,,, mention of nsfw I guess, fluff, slight nsfw, reader wants to get some :)

A/N: this … is one hot request anon bless | gif by @sebuttianstans

Masterlist

There are several reasons why you are pissed off today. Let’s start with number one.

Pepper and Tony are getting married. That alone should be a reason to leap in the air for joy. And it is, you were beyond yourself when you found out and you jumped around the room, squeaking and clapping in a pretty girlie-girl way. It dampened your reputation as a serious, badass IT-girl slash super hacker slash threat to anything that has anything to do with technology but you didn’t care.

Pepper is one of your best friends and you’ve been like a cat on hot bricks waiting for Tony to finally propose to her. She never admitted it but you knew she was, too. The day came, they told you, you broke out into rejoicing, planning of one of the most extravagant weddings in America began, and everything that came with it.

The wedding will take place in Pepper’s city, New Haven, Connecticut, where she grew up.

You are one of the bridesmaids. You are supposed to sleep in the fanciest and over-the-top hotel Connecticut has to offer, sipping Champaign and taking a rose-petal-bubble-bath in candlelight while listening to Adele sing about lost love. Instead you are shipped into a different hotel nearby, accompanied by the last person on Earth you would want to be alone with.

There was a mistake in the booking and due to the wedding being such a huge event, the original hotel was booked out. You and he who must not be named both failed to check in into your rooms and are now standing at the reception of the other hotel, eager not to look at each other or acknowledge each other’s existence in any way.

So, list of reasons why today sucks.

Reason One: You got turned away from Pepper’s hotel. Only for a night, tomorrow the room will be free but still. You feel like you’re missing out. Your friends are probably all sitting at the hotel bar right now, drinking cocktails and laughing at stupid stories that are being told. It’s too late in the evening to drive over there and join them. You’re pissed.

Reason Two: Bucky motherfucking Barnes is the only other person that got denied access to his room and is now standing next to you. You can’t help but throw a quick glance at him, subtly, to see if he is up to something. Bucky, to say it plainly, looks even more pissed than you feel and if you’re right, he is about to take it out on the poor receptionist who is more and more desperately trying to get you two a room the longer Bucky stares at her.

He wears a dark blue baseball cap on backwards and a tight red, long-sleeve shirt and he looks intimidating as fuck with his narrowed, ice-blue eyes, slightly knitted eyebrows and tense mouth. He must have felt your gaze and his eyes cut to you, so you quickly turn your head and watch the woman behind the desk rummage around in a pile of papers. You pull in your lips and ignore Bucky’s stares.

He did that a lot lately. Instead of paying as little attention as possible to you, you catch him watching you quite often nowadays. From a safe distance but still. You don’t know what to make of that, so you decide to push it away to the back of your mind to not make anything of it.

“Okay … it looks like, um, we do have … we have a free room for you. The couple that booked it, cancelled earlier and I can offer you that one” The woman suddenly says and you sigh internally. Thank god. You were afraid you would have to drive out of town to find another hotel with free rooms.

You notice Bucky tense beside you. “A room? Just one?”

You freeze. Oh. No.

The woman smiles insecurely at his tone and looks at the computer screen in front of her.

“Yes. Just one. It’s the last one available. Is that a problem?”

Yes, it is. It’s a hell of a problem.

“Yes” Bucky says and his face, if possible, grows even more serious.

“We’re not together” You add, “We barely know each other.” Okay, that’s a lie but she doesn’t have to know that. The woman looks unsure of what to do now and her eyes jump between the two of you.

“Um … We only have that room. The rest is completely booked out … I, um … I can’t offer you anything else, I’m very sorry.”

Well, ain’t that just the worst. You’re not going to share a room with Bucky Barnes – he hates you. You hate him. That’s your thing, you can’t sleep in the same bed, what kind of enemies do that?

“Listen. I know you said you are booked out but is there really no other option? Maybe a storage room or something like that?” Bucky asks in a low voice and leans forward, hands on the counter, face dipped down to her.

A storage room? Is he fucking serious right now?? He’d rather sleep in a storage room than be in the same hotel room as you – you never considered him to be a Prince Charming but this really hits a new low.

Reason Three: Bucky is an asshole.

Judging by the way the receptionist looks at Bucky’s desperate attempt to get away from you, she seems to agree with you. Then she hesitantly shakes her head. Smart. Bucky looks beyond pissed off, better not irritate him too much.

“No, I’m afraid there isn’t. I’m sorry, sir” She says quietly and looks at the papers in her hand, “Do you, um, do you want the room or not?”

You lean forward and Bucky retreats a little to avoid touching you.

“Yes. I take it” You quickly say, trying to sound overly polite to make up for Bucky’s rudeness. You also want to snatch the room away under his fingers, you will definitely not drive to another hotel. If he really wants to sleep between storage shelves rather than sleep in a room with you, he can piss off and look elsewhere.

You hear him sigh. “Okay … fine.”

Confused, you turn to look at him. “Fine what?”

His eyes have a look of defeat in them that you don’t like. He meets yours and tugs a strand of dark hair behind his ears under the cap. “Fine, we’ll take it.”

“Excuse me?!”

You almost miss the dangerous narrowing of his eyes that follows your little outburst.

“We’ll take it. There’s only one room, you heard it. We don’t really have another option” He says like he just announced he’s going to sacrifice himself to save humanity. You don’t think so.

“We do have another option. I take the room – I called dibs first – and you leave and look for a different hotel. It’s actually quite simple, James. We both don’t want this.”

His eyes get a little harder at that but you don’t shy away – as much as he scares you - and wait for him to agree.

“You don’t know what I want, Y/N. And you can’t just call dibs on it, it’s-“ He starts but suddenly turns to the receptionist who’s watching this exchange with big eyes, “How far away is the next hotel excluding the Jade Lion Resort?"

The woman takes a moment to think and you beg all the gods that it’s not far, so Bucky can fuck off. Please, please, please.

“Um, a little over an hour, I think.”

Shit.

Bucky turns back to you and you can see an almost devious little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He may be pissed he will have to spend the night with you but the bastard seems to be enjoying the fact that he can ruin said night for you in the process.

Reason four: It looks like you and Bucky will have to share the same fucking room. This is unbelievable.

****

Reason five: This may be a pretty hotel and the bed is admittedly very comfy but the AC stopped working about five seconds after you both entered the room.

It is relatively late in the evening but Connecticut’s been having quite a warm front these past weeks, according to a news site on the internet, so the temperatures are still around 80°. You’re sweating. You feel gross and want to take a shower. Is this too much to ask?

Bucky thinks so.

The minute you both step across the threshold, he dumps his two bags on the bed, turns and disappears in the bathroom. A couple of seconds later you hear the rush of water. He’s taking a shower. You sigh. That could be you right now. Why haven’t you been faster to occupy the bathroom before him? Now you have to wait.

Feeling tired, you let yourself fall back onto the bed, arms extended left and right, and stare at the ceiling while listening to Bucky seemingly rubbing it into your face how privileged he is at this moment. You try not to think about the fact that he is completely naked in the room right next to you, separated by only a door.

The thing is. You hate him. But that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate the attractive outside of James Buchanan Barnes. You’re not made out of stone, at least you think you’re not. And that man that is so shamelessly taking his time in the shower is one beautiful eye candy, let’s be real. Even you can’t deny it.

And if you’re on it, there’s no shame admitting that sometimes, just sometimes, you think you’re sensing some kind of sexual tension between you and him. You know it sounds crazy, considering how you stand to each other, but there are moments where your hands start sweating, your heart starts beating faster and you feel a weird flutter in your belly.

Those moments mostly being when you and him are fighting, of course. Those are the only times – with a couple of exceptions – where he graces you with his unshared attention and also doesn’t refrain from being all up in your face, making it easy for you to take in all of his features, staring into his piercing blue eyes, noticing dark spots in the blue …

You roll your eyes. It’s happening again. The day has been exhausting and now your mind is going to strange places that should be marked with Access Forbidden.

Pepper has described this ‘phenomenon’ – Hrmpf, her words – as the Han Solo effect. See, she thinks she is a great observer. She thinks she has figured you out (you told her everything, so there’s not much to figure out) and she thinks she has figured Bucky out, too. And after ‘massive research, data collection and thorough analysis’ she has come to the conclusion that both you and Bucky secretly like each other and none of you want to admit it.

Which is, quite frankly, the insult of the century.

She named it the Han Solo effect because she couldn’t think of a cooler title that would create the illusion that her hypothesis has any sort of footing, so she dodged the plot-hole-stones you would throw at her by quoting Han Solo in A New Hope talking about Princess Leia, “Wonderful girl! Either I'm gonna kill her, or I'm beginning to like her!"

She calls it proof, “The way I see it, he will give you this I-hate-you-to-death look for another two weeks before turning straight to bedroom eyes. I know it”. You call bullshit.

You’re not Princess Leia and he’s no good-looking Corellian smuggler with a short-tempered Wookie best friend – even though he is good-looking. The Winter Soldier, not Chewbacca. Let’s not even go there.

You sigh again. You’re pretty sure Bucky hates you, as in hate-hates you, and not in a I-will-kiss-her-to-stop-her-from-yelling-at-me way. Also, you shouldn’t think of Bucky kissing you. Like, ever. That’s the exact wrong thing to do.

You hate him, Y/N, get your head sorted out!

You get pulled out of your thoughts when you hear the water stop. Oh, thank god. Lord Barnes has decided to clear the space for his subject. You mean it’s not like it’s almost midnight and you’re tired as shit, pissed-off and also missing out on your friend’s group fun in the noble five-star spa hotel that you were originally supposed to be at right now!

He stays in there for another minute and then finally opens the door, leaves the bathroom and walks over to his bag that is still lying on the bed next to you. You try not to stare at his wet hair that he pulled back behind his ears or at his metal arm that is very visible due to the tank top or the pair of sweatpants that are loosely hanging from his hips.

You really shouldn’t stare at all that.

He appears at the bed a foot next to you, bends over and rummages around in his bag and he hasn’t even looked at you since you two entered the hotel room. He seems a little uncomfortable. Which is why you refuse to take your eyes off him – anything to annoy him is a good plan.

You turn your head and watch his serious face grow more and more serious the longer you keep your gaze on him, and because it’s been a really long day and you deserve something sweet, you let your eyes wander over his face, to his neck, collar bone, shoulder and down his arm that is the closest to you. Seeing the muscles in his bicep and forearm flex and work with every move, does things to you that would completely contradict your earlier thoughts about not liking Bucky, “no way, nada, forget it”.

Yeah. So much about that.

You notice his body froze, so your eyes cut back to his face and are met with an undefinable look, almost as if he is trying to estimate you. You can see something work rapidly behind his eyes.

“What?” You snap to cover up your shameless checking him out. Are you hallucinating or is his mouth twitching a little bit?

“The bathroom is free now” He says and stares at you for another two seconds before breaking eye contact and straightening up.  You turn your head away, sit up and grab your bag from your feet before jumping to your feet.

“I thought I would never hear those words from you.”

You hear a sarcastic “Hm” as an answer but don’t turn around and escape into the bathroom while trying not to make it look like you’re escaping. The face in the mirror looks tired and sweaty, and you wish you wouldn’t have to show yourself like this to him. You two have a feud but you still want to bring you’re A-game when he’s around, to show him how much better you are than him. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

What’s that about?

You take a cool shower, wash your hair and feel your muscles relax a little under the water. Just don’t think about the fact that two minutes ago Bucky stood right here, naked, wet, muscly and you’ll be fine. Just don’t think about it. Just don’t. Don’t.

You sigh, turn off the water, step out of the shower and grab a towel. What is going on with you? You’ve never been this needy around him, maybe it’s the hot weather. Maybe you stood in the sun too long, maybe letting Tony order you and the others around to get the perfect group picture in the middle of an open field with direct sunlight from hell was a mistake. Sunstroke?

You put on your pyjamas, red velvet shorts and a tight, white top. You don’t own nightgowns but suddenly you wish you would have bought one when Pepper took you shopping two weeks ago. The shorts and top don’t really make that much of a statement and a nightie would have … been sexy.

Shut up! Stop that right there, who cares if you don’t look sexy right now, who cares what he thinks?

You quickly pack your things back into your bag and are about to exit the bathroom when you suddenly halt and stare at the handle. A thought just hit you.

There is only one bed.

One. For you and him.

Reason Six: You will have to share not only a room but also a bed with Bucky. Um. The thing is, you’re not sure if that is a reason to get pissed, though. Your belly has a different message for you than your Why-I’m-pissed list.

Ummmm.

It’s too late to back out now and besides, you’re a badass mamma jamma, remember? This doesn’t faze you, so get yourself together! No big deal sharing a bed with Bucky Barnes, who gives a shit. The man has gone to war and probably had worse sleep situations there, so this shouldn’t be a problem for him. Or you.

Even if he hates you.

You take a breath, continue your inner motivational speech and open the door. You dare a glance at Bucky and see him lying in bed, tank top still on (Yay or nay?) and sheets pulled up to his waist. His arms are crossed behind his head and his eyes are staring at the ceiling. When you come into sight, his eyes cut to you for a second, take you in from head to toe and then, as if nothing happened, he goes back to examining the ceiling again.

Mister Unfazed. Two can play that game.

Without hesitation you walk up to the bed, drop the bag on the floor and get under the covers. He keeps ignoring you. You roll to your back and wait for a moment, then you stretch and turn off the lamp on your nightstand. The only light source in the room is Bucky’s lamp.

He doesn’t make a move to turn it off and you allow that pettiness for three minutes before turning to him and giving his side profile a scowl.

“Bucky.”

He tries to keep his face blank but you can see his mouth twitch again which only deepens the scowl on your own face.

“Bucky” You repeat, more urgent this time.

“Hm?”

“Turn off the fucking lamp.” Not going to lie, it does tick you off a little that he doesn’t even look at you.

“Hm. Tired?” He asks, his voice sounding low but you think you can hear a hint of teasing. It takes all of your willpower not to roll your eyes at him.

“Yes.”

He doesn’t really react to this, all he gives you is a nod that says “Ah”, a sign he heard you but that’s it. He continues to stare straight ahead. Hrmpf.

You count down from ten, just for good measure, and try to shoot daggers out of your eyes at him. Mister Unfazed stays unfazed. Mister Unfazed also seems to enjoy this.

“Bucky.”

Short silence.

“Bucky.”

“Hm?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” You hiss, sit up and turn to the side. You put one hand next to his ribs and bend your torso over him, stretching the other arm to reach the light switch on his nightstand. This brings you into very close proximity – we’re talking a couple of inches – to his face which is something you try to ignore by turning your face to the side as if that would make it any better.

With a wildly beating heart you realize that your arm’s not long enough to actually reach the switch, so you get closer to him and try harder. You feel his eyes burn into your face but he doesn’t move. His hands stay behind his head.

You could kiss him now if you wanted. You just have to turn your face and bend down minimally, and you could press your lips on his. Of course, you don’t. He would throw you out of this room faster than you could say Sunstroke.

Eventually, you manage to turn the switch, the light goes out, the room turns dark. Quickly, you retreat and roll back to your own side, pulse running fast, belly doing all kinds of things, one of which is flutter. Stupid body. These reactions are so unnecessary.

You lie on your back and try to calm down, all the while listening into the dark, wondering whether Bucky will react to this or not. He makes you wait fifteen seconds (yes, you counted).

“Well, that was-“

“I don’t want to hear it” You quickly intervene, not ready for another insult.

He hesitates, and instead of starting another attempt he lets out another “Hm”, but it sounds more like a grunt. So much about that, you guess.

You close your eyes and pretend you’re at home, lying in your soft, comfy king size bed with extra pillows and a working AC. Being delusional doesn’t help this time, though, mostly because this room is so fucking hot, the absence of the AC lies like a ton of bricks in the room. Or on your chest. You can feel sweat like a thin layer on your skin everywhere, everywhere, so taking a shower earlier was a waste of time and water apparently.

Someone shoot me please or I’m going to die from heatstroke! All you wanted was to be there for Pepper’s big day but it looks like you’re not going to make it that far.

“God, this is hot” You sigh before you can stop yourself. There is silence for a second and you start to think Bucky’s already asleep but then you hear his deep voice beside you.

“Um, I don’t re-“

“The room, I mean. The fucking AC isn’t working and I feel like I’m going to sweat to death.”

Yikes. You shouldn’t have mentioned the sweat, that’s gross. Now he’s probably going to avoid touching you under all circumstances, which he would have done anyway, but this is worse. You clench your teeth and stare into the darkness, wishing you knew what’s going on in his head right now.

“Ever been to Russia? This is vacation. Everything’s better than freezing to death” Bucky returns in his usual scolding tone and as things normally go between you and him, you feel pissed almost immediately.

“I’m feeling so much better now, thank you, James. Your sensitive nature gets me everytime” You clap back and roll your eyes.

“If you want sweet talk, call Steve.”

“You think he would answer his phone at this time?” You ask, pretending to be hopeful and hear Bucky groan.

“Just sleep.”

“It’s too hot.”

“Sleep.”

“I can’t, I’m dy-“

“Sleep!”

You turn quiet and grin into the blackness around you. You give him half a minute before turning to face him, without actually being able to see him.

“Do you think they would do anything about the AC situation if we called the reception?”

Bucky sighs.

“It’s around midnight, I doubt anyone will fix anything right now.”

“I can’t sleep like this and I’m not just saying this to annoy you, it’s too hot to sleep. I will probably lie awake most of the night and look horrible. They have a photographer for tomorrow, the bachelorette party is tomorrow! I can’t handle all of that on two hours of sleep, James” You ramble, and even though you said you’re not telling him all of this to annoy him, you’re telling all of this to annoy him. Simple as that.

He was rude to you when you checked in and now is payback time.

“I don’t give a fuck about the photographer or the bachelorette party. I can handle all of that without getting any sleep, so this isn’t my problem. Do me a favour and be quiet, so I can at least pretend you’re not here with me.”

Hrmpf. Asshole.

“Oh and also, stop calling me James” He adds and you hear rustling, as if he put his hands away from under his head and lay them on the sheets.

“I can’t, James.”

Silence.

“James, I’m serious. I can’t sleep, James. Tomorrow is important for Pepper and for me, James, you know that. I can’t look like a racoon … James.”

He stays silent and is likely trying to hold on to that last straw of patience he still has. You grin.

“I’m too hot, I can’t sleep for shit, I don-“ You start again but suddenly there’s light in the room, making you blink and then there are two strong hands grabbing your wrists and pinning them next to your head. Heavy weight presses your upper body down into the mattress and prevents you from turning away.

Your heart takes this opportunity to jump into a marathon and your eyes grow big as you take in Bucky’s face hovering inches above yours, his eyes look intense and stormy and don’t allow any kind of backtalk. You don’t dare to say anything.

“If you don't stop going on about how hot it is, I'll give you a reason to feel hot” He growls in a tone that you have never heard from him before. Deep and coarse, and slightly threatening.

You don’t know what to say to that, so you don’t. You just stare at him and try to figure out what kind of parallel universe you entered to have this happening. Being this close to and this intimate with Bucky Barnes – and why the hell do you not mind it? At all?? Why is it the exact opposite right now??

He keeps silent and simply watches you, maybe waits for you to say anything, maybe expects you to utter your agreement and promise you won’t ever bother him again. That wouldn’t sound like you, though.

“Um … but it is hot. I’m not making this up” You mutter, not being able to speak any louder, too transfixed on his lips that seem so incredibly close that you feel like you can just raise your head a little and touch them.

Something in his eyes settles and that’s when his head comes down towards yours. All that’s left for you to do is watch, enthralled and freaking out. Your heart skips from its marathon into overdrive and you feel a belly flutter so strong it has to be off the charts. When his face is only an inch from yours, he says, his deep voice silky, “Do you ever listen to me?”

“No” You mumble breathlessly and wait in anticipation. So much about the Han Solo effect not being true. Maybe you shouldn’t give in – are you too easy?

His mouth comes down on yours. Your body tenses and you try hard not to react, but the kiss is nice. Very, very nice. Too nice to handle. You like his hands on you, even though they’re holding you down and you especially like his heat. And to think you just complained about the heat a minute ago. Crazy.

Then his tongue touches your lips and you feel a strong, pleasant tingle between your legs. You open your mouth to say something, maybe lie and protest you wouldn’t give in to him under different circumstances but his tongue slides inside. He tilts his head and the kiss gets serious.

You aren’t super experienced, but you can tell he is really good at, mainly because your whole body melts. Your lips fit themselves to his and you kiss him back. Who could blame you?

His mouth disengages from yours, only for a millisecond and he keeps pressing kisses onto your lips, softly, lightly. “How are you feeling?” He asks raspily against your mouth. You can’t help but smile at that question.

“Pretty hot.”

“Hm. We can do better than that” He says, lets go of your wrists and goes in for another mind-dazzling kiss. Instantly, you wrap your hands around his neck and press him further down to you if that’s even possible. Bucky seems to have gotten the clue because he slides his entire body over to you and carefully puts his knee on your thighs. Without hesitation you open them for him and the next seconds he’s lying on top of you, touching you everywhere and his hips settle between your legs.

Your body reacts instantly, softening, melting itself to him, and one of your hands goes under his tank top, your fingers tracing the hard muscle and soft feel of his back above the waistband of his shorts, brushing over slightly wet skin that makes you think he’s feeling just as hot as you are, then they slide up the indentation of his spine…

Suddenly, there’s a rumbling noise coming from above the door, causing you and him to interrupt the kiss and lift your heads. A second later, you hear a quiet buzz and then there’s cold air on your heated skin. The AC started working again.

---

Forever Tags:  @izzy-the-teawitch @wowpeterparker @brightcolorsoffendme @strangequakson @rosegoldquintis @thirdwheelchurchill  @hazel-eyed-bi @goldenkillmonger @yourwonderbelle @hawaiiantozier @irondadandspidersoncute @thirtiethnovember @fancyfangirl-style @appalo0 @lionheo04

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[scripttorture]

(1) Long ask here! I think you'll need context before the anti-torture character can be made, here's where story will be at time of introduction.  Chromain is the Arch Mage in the Imptulan royal court, a high ranking official. When my character Sab Sab starts causing trouble, he sees it as his personal duty to put a stop to this "Muse of Anarachy".  He eventually corners Sab Sab and Myrn (Sab's friend, not actually part of her stuff). In the scuffle, he grabs Myrn rather than arrest Sab Sab.

(2) Chromain begins by leaving a message that he will release Myrn if Sab turns self in/reveals the rebel group she's with. He threatens to hurt him in her stead until she does. Carries out his threats. Chromain escalates as he more desperate to make Sab Sab reveal herself. Tries getting Myrn to reveal secrets, but a.) isn't the kind to divulge secrets b.) doesn't know anything . Sab stops responding to the messages. In spite, Chromain leaves Myrn in a stress position until he dies.(3) What might be some ouch methods? Its a fantasy world, with steampunk elements, mostly sword&sorcery, renaisance-esque. Myrn doesn't die permanently (key story point, old gods stuff), but intents and purposes,this kills him. Long recovery even with magic, lasting nerve damage in at least 1 arm and hand, chronic pain, bad limp will be there for the rest of his life upon return. I was wondering what u think could cause that.(4)how long someone be left in stress position before they for sure are dead? Cause he gets left until after he's showing no signs of life. Lastly, mental issues. Chromain (who both employs poorer people and gets his own hands dirty) I was thinking would have suicidal thoughts, and develop alchohalism as a means of coping that got out of hand.

OK,I’m taking this to mean that you want some suggestions for torturesthat will cause the kinds of long term injuries you’re looking forbefore the character actually dies. I’m also assuming the characterdoes actually die and doesn’t just look dead.

Ifyou want something to make the character look dead then a stressposition isn’t a good choice. That’s because due to the way itkills a person can be taken out of a stress position and die days orweeks later from the injuries they sustained.

I’mnot sure I can make a good suggestion for a torture that would make acharacter appear dead. Some of them might, but only for a period ofseconds or minutes. Most torturers would stick around that long andtry to revive the victim. And- since I’m not sure you wantsuggestions for things that could make a character appear dead I’mgoing to leave that there.

IfI’ve misunderstood the ask by all means send another so long as theask box is open.

Forthe record torture does not work as an interrogation technique evenon the rare occasions when victims doknow useful information. The situation you’ve outlined here, wherethe victim doesn’t know anything and is being tortured primarily toinstil fear in other people, isrealistic and reflects the circumstances and motivation behind a lotof torture.

Thesymptoms you’ve chosen for the torturer seem plausible to me. I’vedefinitely read interviews with torturers that seemed to suggest boththose symptoms. If those are the symptoms you feel fit the characterand story best then there’s nothing wrong with choosing them.

Theway I’m going to handle this is by suggesting tortures that mighthave caused the injuries you wanted if the character had been rescuedbefore being killed. I’m going to assume the magic is as good or alittle better then modern medicine.

Ithink the best way to treat the tortures isn’t as an ‘escalation’but as abuse continuing past the bodies point to recover from it. Thejudgement of which tortures are ‘worse’ is subjective. Some ofthem are more likely to cause particular lasting injuries. Some ofthem are more likely to be fatal. But our judgements of what’s‘worse’ often underestimate the amount of pain torture causes andthey usually also ignore the fact that we process pain differently.

Theworst possible pain means different things for different people.

Goingback to the injuries-

Thecauses of chronic pain can be complex and aren’t always obvious. Itcan be caused by direct physical injury that can’t be repaired. Butit can also be psychosomatic or a combination of the two.

Asan example of how that combination can work in reality I’m going tosummarise something I read in an account from an abuse survivor. He’dbeen subjected to standing stress positions fairly regularly. Laterin life he found that he’d often get shooting pains in his calveswhen he was under a lot of stress.

Eventuallyhe and his doctor found the cause: when he was stressed he’d changethe way he stood and tense his calves. This posture and theinstinctive tension of muscles put additional pressure on his calfmuscles and caused the pain.

Thesekinds of subconscious reactions can be almost impossible to stop.

Andthey mean that whatever the torture there’s a chance of chronicpain. Some tortures do seem to be more likely to cause it becausesome are more likely to result in physical injuries that lead tochronic pain. But there’s always a chance there.

Fornerve damage in the hands and arms I think your best bet is asuspension torture.

Forhopefully obvious reasons I’m going to focus on the ones thatattack the arms.

Themost straight forward suspension torture is when the victim’s handsare tied in front of them and they’re hoisted off their feet. Afterabout twenty minutes that starts causing permanent nerve damage.

NowI don’t know if there’s a way to limit that damage to one arm ifthe character is suspended from both arms. With this form ofsuspension the character could potentially be suspended from one arm.Although this would mean there’s a chance he’d be able to freehimself and that could mean he’d sustain injuries from falling.

Ifhe was suspended a significant distance (several meters off thefloor) you could use that to cause the injuries that result in thelimp. Being suspended and then dropping could result in broken bones.Complex or untreated breaks could result in a permanent limp.

Anothercommon suspension torture is tying the victim’s hands behind theirback and suspending them that way. In some cultures victims weresuspended like this, dropped and then suspended again.

Icall this ‘strappado’ which is the Italian name, but it was alsoused in Japan and a number of other countries historically.

Thistype of suspension dislocates the shoulder as well as causing nervedamage in the hands and arms. It can’t be done with one arm. Onceagain the drop can cause injuries if it’s a long enough drop.

Bothof these suspension tortures can cause chronic pain via long termphysical injury.

Thetechnique the British call ‘dorsal flexing’ could alsopotentially cause nerve damage but my understanding is it’s lesslikely then it is in suspension tortures. Dorsal flexing involvedpinning or restraining the victim and pulling their arm up behindthem.

It’sessentially putting someone in a painful armlock and keeping themthere. It can damage the joints and ligaments which can result inlong term chronic pain.

Ifyou wanted to have chronic pain in both arms but would prefer to onlyhave nerve damage in one arm dorsal flexing could be a good fit forthe story.

Thereare other tortures that could cause nerve damage to the arms andhands, butI’m struggling to think of tortures that are both deliberate andwouldn’t also come with a significant risk of losing the limb.(Restraint tortures can sometimes cause nerve damage but this isn’tguaranteed and it’s not a deliberate injury, it’s more likely tobe the result of something going ‘wrong’).

Thefirst thing that comes to mind for the limp is a badly treated brokenbone somewhere in the leg or foot and there are a lotof ways that could happen in a torture scenario. I describedaccidental injuries from drops during suspension and there areprobably a lot of other ways breaks could occur accidentally.

Torturers(more often historically) did sometimes inflict deliberate breaks.This was usually done with a heavy object like a hammer.

Anotheroption would be scarring falaka.

Falakais beating the soles of the feet with an object, and depending onwhat the object is it can be a clean torture, it can be scarring orit can be lethal. Something like a hard wooden cane would bescarring. That would likely cause cuts on the feet and could causebreaks or fractures in the bones of the feet.

Thatcould end up causing the limp. Falaka is also one of the torturesthat often causes chronic pain.

Amuch rarer torture that could result in difficulty walking would becutting the soles of the feet, filling the wounds with alcohol soakedcotton and lighting it. The cuts themselves can potentially be deepenough to cause the limp and burns to the sole of the foot can shrinkthe skin, resulting in difficulty balancing and walking.

Ifyou want the limp to be deliberately and intentionally inflicted thiswas often done by cutting tendons in the leg, either the achillestendon at the back of the heel or one of the tendons at the back ofthe knee.

Ifyou want the character to die because he was left in a stressposition, well the chances of death increase if a victim is in astress position longer then 48 hours. But the exact time of deathwould have quite a bit of individual variation. Considering that thischaracter has been tortured for quite some time before this attack,well his health would probably be pretty poor and he’d probably diemore quickly then someone who was fit and healthy at the beginning ofthis ordeal. Somewhere between 48 and 72 hours should be a realistictime frame.

You’vealready got quite a few options to pick from here. But you might notwant to use all of them. If you wanted to add in more the most commontortures globally are beatings, sleep deprivation and starvation.Poor prison conditions and neglect are also incredibly commonglobally and many cultures used a form of whipping historically.

Idon’t recommend using every torture I’ve suggested in your story.Pick something like 3-5 to use based on what you feel comfortablewriting and what fits the story.

Youcan also take a look at my posts on National Styles herefor modern torture and herefor torture during world war two. They might provide someinspiration or have something you could link to the culture yourfantasy culture is based on.

Ihope that helps. :)

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#tw torture #tw scars #tw death #tw addiction #scarring torture #suspension #strappado #broken bones #falaka #chronic pain #causes of chronic pain #dorsal flexing #stress positions #rosavirgoart

[ellana-ravenwood]

“You’re kind of an asshole” - Superboy x Reader

I just finished season 2 of Young Justice (I know, I’m super late to the party)...And I kinda totally love Conner. So. Here we go. 

Summary : Reader is Batman and Catwoman’s daughter, and has a thing for Superboy...Maybe part one of a series ? Don’t know yet. 

PART 2, PART 3

My masterlists blog :  @ella-ravenwood-archives

_______________________________________________________________________

You were SO DONE with Superboy and Miss Martian lovey dovey behavior. So damn done. They were always smiling stupidly or looking lovingly at each others and all of that bullshit. Besides, you totally had a crush on Conner since the day you met him, and seeing them together made your heart ache a bit. 

Except that you were wrong. Because his eyes shone with love not for Megan, but for you...But you didn’t notice. You thought he was looking at her when he never was, as you were always there, in the background. You never even noticed that he kept his eyes open while kissing her to stare at you. Your oldest brother, Dick, noticed, and was fomenting a plan to clear things up for the both of you, hopefully not hurting M’gann in the process. 

M’gann was feeding him a cookie when you finally had enough, rolling your eyes to the sky, you left the room under his gaze, unaware of his attention. 

****************

She broke up with him. Miss Martian. You didn’t think about it too much, as they already broke up before, because Conner couldn’t stand her mind reading thing (you hated it too, and made a point of singing a very annoying song in your mind whenever she was around). You thought they were just being dramatic, but months passed and they still didn’t get back together...You started to be hopeful. 

You didn’t know the reason they broke up, and you didn’t really care...You should have cared though, as the reason was that M’gann finally gave up. 

She always knew Conner had a thing for you, but since he decided to date her, she thought she could change his mind, that he could fall in love with her. But she was wrong. She could read in his mind that, no matter how hard he tried to shove you away from his thoughts, you were always there. She didn’t really understand why he didn’t tell you anything while it was clear you liked him too...or maybe it was clear only to her, because she could read your mind, and when you didn’t sing an annoying song, he crept in your thoughts ? She didn’t know, what she knew however, was that Conner was in love with you, and not her, and there was nothing she could do about it. 

So she broke up with him. He didn’t try to stop her, and she realized that he couldn’t fake it anymore...She loved him, and seeing him struggling with his feelings hurt her too, so she decided to join your brothers in trying to come up with a masterplan to get you two together. 

It wasn’t easy. Whenever they made sure you guys would be alone together, Conner showed nothing but contempt and annoyance towards you, and you equally answered with your natural sarcasm and wittiness. If they didn’t know you two liked each other, they’d probably just assumed you hated each other. 

No matter what, you two couldn’t get along, and in a few seconds you’d get into stupid fights over anything and everything...

Dick quickly realized that his friend was just scared shitless. Conner was afraid that you wouldn’t return his feelings, because that boy had enough abandonment and unrequited love issues to get into it some more. So instead of letting his feelings getting the better of him, and so smiling at you or anything...he acted like he hated you. Kindergartener’s behavior. 

You weren’t the kind of person to let anyone walk on your feet, you were the goddamn Batman and Catwoman’s daughter ! No one could be mean to you without you responding...and oh responding you were, alright. 

Your father had to intervene once, because after an oral joust between you and Conner about how the other one sucked so bad, you lost your cool and went all Damian on Superboy, taking him by surprise by kicking him so skillfully in the face, that he fell backward...And being the impulsive man he was, Conner stood up quickly and god knows what would have happened without the severe voice of your dad scolding you two. You stopped to face the Batman. He finished his long speech about camaraderie with those sentences : 

-You’re suppose to be a team. Can’t you at least act civil toward each others ?

Silence. You glared at Conner, he glared back. Your dad sighed. 

-Y/N, I expect better from my daughter. I taught you to...

-Please dad, stop. First, as if you always stay calm yourself. Second, he went too far, like I’ve done nothing to him, for real, he always starts. Third, I might be your daughter, but I’m also mom’s, and let’s face it, impulsivity is in my blood. Fourth, I’m so not in the mood for a sermon. So, yeah, I get it. I’ll stop. I’ll just ignore him from now on. It’s just so damn difficult when he’s so good looking and cool...

You mumbled the last sentence and no one but your dad understood what you said. He smiled gently at you, suddenly understanding that you had a crush on Superman’s clone, and that’s why you were acting that way (it didn’t surprise him that you reacted violently, as his relationship with your mom, Selina Kyle, was also...kinda special). Oh my God, you had a crush on his best friend’s clone...He wasn’t sure how to react to that, so he decided not to tell you anything and go to your brothers instead to know more about the all ordeal. His little girl couldn’t grow up so fast...

************

After the incident involving your dad, you did exactly what you promised, you ignored Conner, and he became even broodier and more silent than before. He avoided you as well, and when he couldn’t, he just stayed as far as he could, but couldn’t quite help but give you some puppy eyes when you weren’t looking. You also had the most difficult time not to speak to him at all, you almost missed your constant fights...almost. 

Dick was getting desperate, why were you both so stubborn ? 

***************

Conner entered the common room of the Young Justice headquarter and sighed with relief when he realized you weren’t there. His heart dropped a beat as well, when he realized you weren’t there, he wanted to see your face today...Oh god he hated all of those contradictory feelings he had when it was about you...

He sat awkwardly next to M’Gann, knowing that she was still somewhat in love with him. The rest of the Young Justice was there, as you had a meeting with Batman, Red Tornado and Black Canary about some missions. The leaguers were already there too, talking to each others. 

Wally looked at Conner, and couldn’t help but ask : 

-Ok what’s the deal dude ? You seem even more uncomfortable and pissed than usual ? 

Conner scoffed but didn’t answer. M’gann did it for him, unfortunately... 

-He’s just afraid I won’t take well the fact that he’s in love with Y/N. But it’s OK, I think it’s better like that. We weren’t really...on the same page you and I Conner.

Batman and his sons (but Dick) froze, glaring at Superboy. Of course by now, they kinda all knew, didn’t mean they had to let it happen though. Damian especially felt like he had to protect you, thinking Kon-El wasn’t good enough for you. He idolized you, though he’d never admit it, so he was extremely critical when it came to who was allowed to flirt with you or not. 

Conner shifted awkwardly in his seat, he definitely wanted to be somewhere else right now, and he started to feel angry at Miss Martian. How dare she look into his head again ? 

-Also, I know you don’t like when I use my telepathic powers but, just so you know...She feels the same. 

And on that note you entered the room, not leaving any time to Conner to process what his ex-girlfriend just said. Everyone was staring at you, and you immediately noticed. 

-What ? Something on my face ? 

No one answered you, and Red Tornado just started his speech about your coming missions. You still felt your friends’ gaze on you, and gave your father a questioning look...the way he looked away alarmed you. What the Hell was going on ? 

Conner stayed silent during the meeting, M’gann’s word replaying in his head. She was feeling the same ? Really ? ...His heart started to beat wildly. 

*************

After the meeting, you left quickly with your father, as you had important things to do in Gotham, and he didn’t see you for a few days, not able to do anything about what M’Gann revealed. When he questioned Damian about your whereabouts, your little brother told him to mind his own business, and to stay away from you or he would...Tim shoved Damian, telling him to stop acting like a brat, and told Conner that you were on vacation at your mother’s place. Probably trying to stop her from stealing anything, and getting frustrated at her questions about your life. You didn’t really like to speak about yourself...and your mother had a bad tendency of wanting to know EVERYTHING. 

When you finally came back, Conner tried to be nicer towards you...but his fears got the better of him, and he just resumed his cold behavior with you, too scared to be hurt. You kept ignoring him. 

Dick sighed, how was he gonna make things work...

******************

Turned out, in the end, Dick’s help wasn’t needed. You sorted things yourself. 

At the end of a particularly difficult mission, the team went back to headquarters beaten. Conner was being a total dick to everyone, and you understood why...Superman came to help you guys on the mission, and plainly ignored Conner. He acted as if he wasn’t there at all. But even though you understood, you weren’t gonna let it pass. Or rather, you were, up until Superboy almost hit your beloved older brother Dick who was just trying to cheer him up. You got between your bro and Conner.

-Has anyone ever told you you were kind of an asshole ? 

Granted, maybe that wasn’t the best thing you could start a conversation with...Like your father, sometimes, you were a bit socially retarded. Connor glared at you, and you gave him a provoking smile, which sent him over the edge. Months of pent up feelings exploding...but in the wrong way.

-How dare you ?! You don’t even know me ! 

-I know you enough to know you’re kind of an asshole. 

-Oh because you know everything about everyone right ?! You’re the Batman’s daughter, you’re just the best. 

You just smiled at him, which unnerved him even more. How could you stay so calm ? How could you be so damn attractive at the same time ?! 

-You know, I get it. It ain’t easy being you. Superman is ignoring you, which is weird cause he’s actually a great dude, like he never forget my birthday for exemple, you know. You think you’re just a clone, doom to be another Superdude without your own identity and all that shit...

Conner just glared some more toward you, but you could see a hint of sadness as well. You knew it since the first time you met him. His fits of anger were just hiding the fact that he was a sad guy, that he felt alone. You decided to change your tactic, maybe provoking him wasn’t the best way to actually get to him, to calm him down. And you couldn’t bring yourself to actually hurt him...Fighting over petty things ? Yeah, sure. Actually hurting his feelings ? Never. He was about to leave when you added : 

- It’s clear though that you have your own personality...like, you’re really not like Sups, you’re your own person Conner. Really. But you don’t wanna talk about your feelings and they’re eating you from inside, as cheesy as it sounds. You gotta talk boy, you gotta tell us what you think. Obviously you’re not gonna tell me, cause you can’t stand me, but like...you’ve got friends here. Tell one of my brother. Tell Kaldur. Even Wally or M’Gann. They’re your best friends. Tell Tim. Just, talk. So, you know, quit the broody behavior, it’s suppose to be a “bat family” thing. You can’t get better if you don’t wanna improve you know ? 

Conner just looked at you, stunned, no trace of anger or annoyance on his face anymore. 

-You...You think I can’t stand you ? 

-Oh so that’s the only thing you remember from my heartfelt speech eh ?

He didn’t answer, so you continued :

-Come on Conner, you’ve been nothing but downright mean to me since day one. I don’t even know what I did. Like, usually, I get it’s because of my sarcasms, or because I always wanna be right, hate to be wrong, that people dislike me. But you ? I never even said a word to you when you just started to be a dick to me. 

Conner didn’t say anything, and since he looked like he was  calm again, you were about to go change and go home, because you didn’t really had anything to add, when his words hit you like a tsunami : 

-I don’t hate you at all. Quite the opposite. I just...Don’t know how to act around you. You’re the only one that...makes me feel like that. That makes me happy by your mere presence, and it’s just so scary, because...I just don’t know how to react. 

He would never have dared say all of those things if M’gann’s words weren’t still freely flying in his mind. She said you felt the same way he did. She said you loved him too. And he hoped to God that she wasn’t playing a mean trick on him to get revenge of him dating her only to try and forget about you...But Miss Martian wasn’t a bad girl.

-...What ? 

You asked. The entire Young Justice were staring at you guys, Wally even managed to make some pop corn as the action was happening...You completely forgot their presence. 

-I don’t hate you. At all. But I don’t know how to...act around you. I don’t know what I’m suppose to say...So...I...Do the only thing easy, I provoke you. Because I want to talk to you, but...I don’t know how to, so I just...try and get a reaction from you in the only way that is natural to me. I piss you off on purpose, just to hear the sound of your voice.

Silence. Your friends’ were on edge. What was going to happen ? 

-I...Don’t know how to act around you either. My dad is emotionally crippled, and my mom hides all her feelings behind her humor...Also, my brothers are total noobs about...Things like that, so I don’t have any model to follow, to tell me how to act...When people provoke me, I usually have a witty answer and then I ignore them, but I can never do that with you...I have to...Keep talking and acting mad...You’re confusing me.

Imperceptibly, you were getting closer from each other. Your friends’ held their breath. 

-It’s funny, I’m pretty sure we both know what we’re talking about and yet, we don’t say the words...

You looked at Conner curiously, what was he talking about ? 

-What words ? 

-You know. The one that describe how we feel. At least...how I feel...

-I’m like 97% sure I feel the same...

And yet, none of you said the words. Not able to contain himself more, Dick just yelled  : 

-Oh my god just say “I love you”, it’s not that difficult alright ?! 

Everyone, including you, laughed. Conner’s heart lifted away from his chest, toward you. Relief, that’s what he was feeling. Because he could see in your eyes that yes, you did love him. He could finally recognize the spark that was in your pupil. And he knew he loved you. Before knowing what he was doing, he kissed you. He got scared for a second, as you didn’t respond, but once you got over your initial surprise, you definitely reacted. 

Your friends’ howled like wolves, and whistled. When you stopped kissing, you could see Dick and Tim trying to hold Jason and Damian back, explaining to them that you could handle yourself, and that after all, you kissed back...You almost went to them to scold them and tell them you were perfectly able to handle yourself indeed, when Conner whispered something in your ear. 

-I love you Y/N. 

You smiled at him, kissing him once more. 

-I...love you too, Kon-El. 

You were about to kiss for the third times when you felt a large hand on your shoulder shoving you away. You ended up behind your father, as he towered over your new boyfriend, pointing a finger at him. 

-No one kiss my baby girl. 

Rolling your eyes to the sky, you walked around your dad. It was going to be quite something to convince him he didn’t have a choice but to accept that you were growing up. Stubbornness was running strong in the family...With a side look, you called your oldest brother to the rescue, and he arrived, loyal as always. As you took Conner’s hand, you proudly faced your father and started to speak...

The end ?

#Superboy x reader #Young Justice #Kon-el #Kon-el x reader #Young Justice x reader #Superboy imagine #batsis #Batfamily #Conner Kent Imagine #dc oneshot #dc imagine #Batdaughter #haha #so many tags #superboy imagines #Catwoman's daughter #Connor Kent x Reader #Batman's daughter

[spectroamer]

SERVERTALE CHAPTER 3: Through the Ruins

Toriel: I apologize, Flowey can get… aggressive sometimes. I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone entered this world. Come, I will guide you through the catacombs. The surroundings are becoming visible again. Toriel: This way. Toriel goes to the next room. Chara: Well this is unusual. Keep going. Frisk looks confused at Chara, but decides to follow Toriel. The next room is way brighter. The floor and the walls are black, but the stairs are white and there are really bright blue flowers and vines that are bringing light to the whole area. There’s a gold star in the middle of the room. Frisk walks in front of it to get a closer look. Chara opens her console. Chara: There’s a message in it. Frisk just nods her head a little bit not wanting to make Toriel think that she is talking to herself. Toriel enters the next room while frisk is climbing the stairs. She follows Toriel to the next room. The next room is way smaller. It has 6 buttons on the floor, a switch and some writings on the wall Toriel: Welcome to your new home, innocent one. Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins. Toriel activates 4 buttons and then flips the switch. The doors in the middle of the room open. Toriel: The Ruins are full of puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and door keys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them. Toriel proceeds to the next room. Frisk looks at the writings on the wall. Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road. Frisk: What is that supposed to mean? Chara: I dunno, the only things I remember from the Ruins are the puzzles and small monsters. I guess we’ll find out. Frisk walks to Toriel. Toriel: To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches. Do not worry, I have labeled the ones that you need to flip. Toriel continues to walk down the road. There are more writings on the wall. Frisk looks at them. Stay on the path Frisk flips both of the labeled switches and the spikes that were blocking the way to the next room are lowered down. Toriel: Splendid! I am proud of you. Let us move to the next room. Toriel continues to walk down the road. Frisk does the same. There’s a dummy in the next room Toriel: As a human living in the Computerworld, monsters may attack you. You will need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a fight. While you are in a fight, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict. Practice talking to the dummy. Toriel stands in front of the entrance to the next room. Frisk looks at Chara. Chara shrugs. Frisk walks up to the dummy and “talks” to it. Toriel seems happy with Frisk. Toriel: Ah, very good! You are very good. Frisk and Toriel continue to the next room. This one is longer. Toriel: There is another puzzle in this room… I wonder if you can solve it? Both of them walk through the weirdly shaped path. While frisk is walking, she encounters a froggit. Chara: Don’t worry, he’s harmless. Frisk compliments the froggit. Froggit didn’t understand what Frisk said, but was flattered anyway. Toriel notices the froggit and makes him go away. There are more writings on the wall. Frisk reads them. The western room is the eastern room’s blueprint. Chara: Oh, I know this! The next part of the room will be filled with spikes and the path from the first part of the room shows which spikes will drop. Toriel: This is the puzzle, but… Here, take my hand for a moment. Toriel offers assistance and Frisk accepts. They walk through the spike filled bridge together. While they are walking, the spikes in front of them are perfectly falling and rising after they cross them. Toriel: Puzzles seem a little too dangerous for now. Frisk and Toriel continue to the next room. It is also a really long room. Toriel: You have done excellently thus far, my child. However… I have a difficult request to ask of you. I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourself. Forgive me for this. Toriel quickly walks over to the other end of the room and hides behind a pillar. Frisk follows her. When Frisk got to the end of the room, Toriel stop hiding behind the pillar. Toriel: Greetings, my child. Do not worry, I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me. However, There was an important reason for this exercise. To test your independence. I must attend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while. Please remain here. It’s dangerous to explore by yourself. I have an idea. I will give you a cell phone. If you have a need for anything, just call. Be good, alright? Toriel continues to walk ahead while Frisk sits in a corner. Frisk: Hey Chara! Chara: Yeah, Frisk? Frisk: When I touched that star, you said that there was a message. What did it say? Chara: Oh, that? Wait, let me check. Chara quickly opened her console and found the message. Chara: it said “The shadow of the Ruins looms above, filling you with determination”. Frisk: Well that’s interesting. Chara: Yeah, lets continue, unless you want to rest. Frisk: Nah, I’m good. Frisk gets up and continues to the next room. Her new phone starts ringing. Toriel: Hello? This is Toriel. You have not left the room, have you? There are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. It would be dangerous to try to solve them yourself. Be good, alright? Toriel Hangs up. This room has another star, a froggit and some leaves. There are multiple doors. Frisk goes to the froggit. Froggit: Ribbit Ribbit. Chara: I got this. Looks like he’s talking about sparing monsters. He says that you should talk to them or act in a certain way until they don’t want to fight anymore.  Frisk: How do you understand him? Chara: I just translated what he said through the code. Frisk: Well that’s useful. Chara: Yup, it really is. Go to that star, I don’t know exactly what they do, but I feel like they will be important later on. Frisk walks through the leaves and touches the start. Frisk: What does it say? Chara: “Playfully crinkling through the leaves fills you with determination”. 01000110 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110110 01100101 01100100  Frisk: What’s with all the determination? Chara: Well we are determination souls. It’s kinda our thing. Frisk: Oh. Frisk enters the north room. It’s a small room with a bowl of candy in it. There is a small paper on the bowl. The paper says “Take one”. Frisk follows instructions and takes one candy and continues to go back to the last room and goes to the next one. There are 2 ventilation systems on the walls. When frisk tries to get to the next room, the floor underneath her breaks down and she falls down to a level below the floor. Chara flies down to check if Frisk is ok. Chara: Frisk, you ok? Did you break anything? Frisk: Only my pride. Chara: I don’t remember that floor being so unstable, try climbing back up through those vents. Frisk: Yeah, good plan. Frisk enters the vents and starts climbing up. It is surprisingly easy. After a few seconds, Frisk is back up at the other side. They continue walking down the path. Her phone rings again. Toriel: Hello? This is Toriel. For no reason in particular… Which do you prefer? Cinnamon or butterscotch? Chara: Oh! Say butterscotch! Frisk: Butterscotch. Toriel: Oh, I see. Thank you very much! Toriel hangs up, but calls again after a few seconds. Toriel: Hello? This is Toriel. You do not dislike cinnamon, do you? I know what your preference is, but… Would you turn up your nose if you found it on your plate? Frisk: No, I like cinnamon as well. Toriel: Right, right, I understand. Thank you for being patient, by the way. Frisk: No problem. Toriel hangs up again. Frisk solves the next puzzle by pushing a rock so that it would stand on a button that will lower the spikes closing off the next room. Frisk continues to walk down the road ignoring the writings on the wall. The next room is filled with cracked floors Chara: I guess the only way now is down. Frisk: On the bright side, this is fun. Frisk jumps on the floor making it break down and she falls down with it to the lower room. The room is filled with blue leaves which are revealing which parts of the floor are unstable Frisk reads a sign on the wall. Please don’t step on the leaves. Chara: As obvious as it can get. Frisk memorizes the pattern and climbs back up, crossing the area easily. On the end of the room she finds a moldsmal. Moldsmal wiggles. Frisk tries to copy the move by wiggling her hips. Moldsmal expresses his happiness through another wiggle. Chara: what a meaningful conversation. Frisk continues to the next room. Frisk: Aren’t there more monsters around here, I barely encountered any of them. Chara: They know that you’re under Toriel’s protection. The only monsters that you’re gonna encounter are the ones that don’t think a lot. Frisk pushes rocks to their button, but she had to negotiate with the third rock. After they made an agreement, Frisk thanked the rock, and carried on. The next room has another star, a small table with cheese and a small hole on the left side. Frisk touches the star. Chara: Knowing the mouse might one day leave its hole and get the cheese… It fills you with determination. 01000110 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110110 01100101 01100100  Frisk goes to the next room. A ghost is blocking the way. Frisk gets close to it. Napstablook: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… zzzzzzzz… (are they gone yet) zzzzzzzzzzz… Chara: Pft, is he really just saying z out loud repeatedly pretending to sleep? Try to “wake him up” or something. Frisk pokes the ghost with her glow stick. Here comes Napstablook. Frisk thries to whisper as quietly as possible. Frisk: Chara, can you Check him? Chara: on it… His name is Napstablook, his attack and defense are 10, looks like he doesn’t seem to have a sense of humor… Napstablook: Oh, I’m REAL funny. Chara: Wait, what? You can hear me? Napstablook: Yes, why wouldn’t I hear you? Frisk: It’s probably because you’re both ghosts. Chara: Sorry then. Napstablook: It’s ok. Tears start falling out of Napstablook. Frisk keeps dodging and blocking. Chara: Hey Napstablook! Could you please stop attacking us, we don’t want to hurt you. Napstablook: I’m not trying to attack you, I’m just crying. Chara: Well can you try to stop? your tears can hurt my friend. Napstablook: Ok, I’ll try. Frisk: Thank you! Napstablook is crying less tears now. Frisk tries to start a conversation. Frisk: Do you listen to music? I like music. Napstablook: Really not feeling up to it right now. Sorry. Frisk: That’s ok. We can listen to music some other time. Napstablook looks a little bit better now. Frisk: I just want to lift your spirits. Chara: Oh god, that’s so bad! Frisk: I know you’re lying Chara, I can see right through you Napstablook found the jokes and their argument funny. Napstablook: Heh heh… Napstablook seems happier now. Napstablook: Let me try… Napstablook starts crying tears again, but this time they start flying up, forming a hat on top oh him. Napstablook: Do you like it… Frisk giggles. Frisk: We love it! Napstablook moves from his spot. Napstablook: I usually come to the Ruins because there’s nobody around… but today I met somebody nice… Oh, I’m rambling again, I’ll get out of your way. Frisk and Chara say goodbye to Napstablook and he vanishes. Frisk: What a cute ghost. Chara: Aw, what about me? Frisk: You’re a cute ghost as well. Both of them enter the north room. Frisk reads a sign on the ground. Did you miss it? Spider Bakesale down and to the right. Come eat food made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders! Frisk: I’m not sure if I want a spider cake. Chara: We need to save our money in case we really need it later anyway. There are 3 froggits lined up. The first one is complaining about no one listening to him, the second one is talking something about seeing better, while the third one is talking about sparing monsters. The phone starts ringing. Toriel: Hello? I just realized that it has been a while since I have cleaned up. I was not expecting to have company so soon. There are probably a lot of thing lying about here and there. You can pick them up, but do not carry more than you need. Someday you might see something you really like. You will want to leave room in your pockets for that. Toriel hangs up. Frisk continues to the next room. She reads a sign on the wall. There is just one switch. Frisk: What is that supposed to mean? Chara: See those 6 weak areas of the floor? Well every single one of them leads to a different room, and only 1 room has the switch for the spikes and if I remember correctly, that should be the the middle one on the left side. Frisk: Oh. Ok then, lets test out your memory. Frisk jumps down the whole Chara showed and as Chara told her, it was the right one. Frisk: I guess you were right. Chara proudly places her hands on her hips. Chara: Of course I was. Frisk: Pffft, you’re a dork. Chara: But a dork who lead you to the switch. Frisk flips the switch and climbs back up. The spikes are down, allowing access to the next room. There are 3 pillars with differently colored switches at each one. Frisk reads the sign on the wall. The far door is not an exit. It simply marks a rotation in perspective. Chara: wait I got this… Press the blue switch, than in the next room press the red switch. Frisk does as instructed and gets to the 3rd room Frisk: So, the green one is next, right? Chara: Yeah, It even says on the wall, but I decided that it would be faster if I guided you. Frisk flips the switch and goes to the next area. She sees a giant tree and a house behind it. Chara: That house looks exactly the same as the old one all the way at the capital. Frisk starts walking towards the tree and hears Toriel nearby. Toriel: Oh dear, That took longer than I thought it would. Toriel grabs her phone wanting to call frisk, but then she sees frisk at the other side of the tree. Toriel: How did you get here my child? Are you hurt? Frisk: Not really, just some scratches and bruises from falling. Toriel: I will heal you. Toriel reaches out her hand, and healing magic starts to flow through it. It looks like a green fire, warm, but not hot, making all the injuries go away. Toriel: I should not have left you alone for so long. It was irresponsible to try to surprise you like this. Err… Well, I suppose I cannot hide it any longer. Come, young one! Toriel enters the house while frisk finds another star at the entrance. Chara: Seeing such a cute, tidy house in the Ruins gives you determination. 01000110 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110110 01100101 01100100  Frisk enters the house. Toriel is waiting inside. Do you smell that? Surprise! It is a butterscotch cinnamon pie. I thought we might celebrate your arrival. I want you to have a nice time living here. So I will hold off on the snail pie for tonight. Chara: good call. Toriel: Here, I have another surprise for you. Toriel walks down the hallway and frisk follows her Toriel: This is is… A room of your own, I hope you like it! Is something burning? Um, make yourself at home! Frisk opens the door and gets in the room. All she cares about is the big bed in the corner. Frisk: Finally! A nice bed. She just jumps on in and lays down on the bed, admiring the space. Frisk: Even if you weren’t a ghost, you would still fit here. Chara: You just couldn’t wait for a chance for us to sleep together, could you? Frisk whispers as loudly as possible. Frisk: Chara! Stop it! Chara: Not when you’re so easily flustered Frisky. Frisk: You’re a jerk. Chara: You know you like me being a jerk. Frisk: Just go to sleep already. Chara: Ok. Good night Frisk. Frisk: Good night. Frisk thinks about the next day and falls asleep a few minutes later. Chapter 4 Chapter 2 Prologue

#Servertale #Undertale #Frisk #Chara #Toriel

[pauldeckerus]

Lightroom Sucks: An Open Letter to Adobe

“Panic on the streets of London, panic on the streets of Birmingham, I wonder to myself, could life ever be sane again?” You’d be forgiven for thinking The Smiths were singing about wedding photographers mid-summer running around the streets in a naked hysteria after they’ve just installed the latest Lightroom update.

Adobe, I hope you read this because it seems like for too long now you’ve ignored the issues and released update after update that actually made things worse, NOT better!

This open letter is not a plea for you to up your game — it’s a demand. You owe it to all the subscribers that have shown great loyalty to you for such a long time.

“Ooh look I have 6 weddings in the queue, I’m a little stressed and wedding season is taking its toll, but it’s OK as I have three days solid booked out to make a dent in things. Ok, I’ll just load up Lightroom…” And this is where a whole world of frustration, irritation and wanting to walk into traffic begins. For while we may have time finally to catch up on some editing, Lightroom generally decides to throw a spanner or ten in the works!

Now I want to get one thing very straight here, Lightroom is a wonderful piece of software… when it works properly. It’s revolutionized the way wedding photographers process work, making it easier and more convenient.

Why oh why then does Adobe continue to release updates that seem to make it almost unusable at times? At best these days my experience of using it is sub-par, a whole catalog of issues are present at all times, and of course, I’m not the only one who has this experience. So Adobe for the love of God will you PLEASE sort it out!

I hear time and time again from people involved in their beta testing that Lightroom needs to be rebuilt rather than updated and that Adobe is aware of ‘bugs’ and trying to resolve them. Well, quite frankly, that isn’t good enough! How many hundreds of thousands of wedding photographers use Lightroom and pay their subscription to CC? It’s impossible to know, but MORE than enough to warrant Adobe giving us more back — a hell of a lot more.

There’s also a stark warning here for Adobe: you rest on your laurels and eventually someone else will release something and everyone will jump ship. You only have to see how many people have switched to Sony from Canon or Nikon to understand that brand loyalty doesn’t mean anything if something shinier, better, and more appealing comes along. It will happen one day to you too, Adobe, if you continue to be so complacent and not give us the software we want and deserve.

Minimum System Requirements

I’m going to list some of the issues I face using Adobe Lightroom in a moment and then a load that other photographers have also shared with me. Firstly though I want to examine what the recommended system specifications by Adobe are because it makes for surprising reading!

Source: https://helpx.adobe.com/lightroom/system-requirements.html

So a minimum 4GB RAM and 12GB recommended. Yes, that’s right: a MINIMUM of 4GB RAM. So what Adobe is saying is that you CAN run Lightroom on a machine with as little as 4GB of RAM, really?

12GB is the recommended… how old are these specs? I think that’s one of the things that irks me about Adobe’s approach to their software packages. If they said ‘hey it’s a minimum of 16GB RAM but we’d recommend 32GB’ it would help us make informed decisions when spending $2,500 on our editing machines.

If you use Lightroom as your main memory-intensive application then you could easily be lulled into thinking that a cheaper spec machine with less RAM is fine, when it really wouldn’t be. Adobe do you really think Lightroom CC can run fine on a machine with 4GB of RAM? Erm, no!

I Have Issues

I tried to write down all the issues I face using Lightroom, some will no doubt have slipped my mind, but I think the list in itself is pretty comprehensive and includes the following:

– Flicking between images even with Smart Previews enabled takes too long, there’s a pause while it renders. Ok, this is one everyone pretty much has, but it seems to be getting worse!

– Preset not showing as being applied until I make a change. It just shows the straight-out-of-camera version until I change the exposure or crop/rotate and then BINGO, there’s the preset. This is an intermittent issue, sometimes it’s there, sometimes not… however, when it’s there it affects several hundred photos at a time. It’s a confusing and irritating problem. It seems to occur if I edit for a few hours, like Lightroom is tired and can’t be arsed anymore, keen to get home for its dinner and watch The Walking Dead.

– Trying to crop or rotate anything involves a lag similar to my 3-year-old when I ask him to do pretty much anything. This is a new issue (in LR, not with my 3-year-old — that’s always been there with him), and it’s very annoying, Adobe!

– In full-screen mode the left menu panel used to pop out when you hovered over it, it no longer does this, except last Tuesday when it DID, only to revert back to not doing so by Wednesday morning. Apart from that delightful Tuesday, I have to click to open it and click to close it again.

– Then there’s the curious issue for whenever a new update is available, my current version either suddenly runs super sloooooow or stops working altogether, forcing me to update to the latest one. Now I’m not suggesting Adobe is somehow sending a sneaky patch to break my existing version so I HAVE to update, but if they are it’s REALLY annoying and happens so often it’s hard to not feel a little suspicious about.

– Let’s not forget the issue where you are using a catalog and wish to open a different one, which results in the first catalog successfully closing, but Lightroom just sitting there and not responding until you either force quit (or sometimes actually have to switch off the machine as it won’t force quit), or after several minutes it finally decides to respond again and open the new catalogue.

– Photoshop opens weird about 75% of the time. So if you’re like me and like to add an extra bit of sharpening to portraits or clone out bird poop from the fence where the couple is standing etc, you’ll Command E to open Photoshop. It’s great you can open PS from LR, edit, save and it appears back in LR as a .tiff. Bravo Adobe, that is one nifty function! Except when it opens like this three-quarters of the time.

Apologies for the portrait, clearly not keeping it real at this point of the wedding – this was just the only time I remembered to screen shot the issue

I haven’t cropped anything from the PS window here, that’s how it opens most of the time. To make it usable I have had to click ‘view’ and then ‘full screen with menu bar’ so many times recently that I’m starting to get RSI (and RAGE) from it.

Incidentally, if anyone else is suffering the same issue, I found a quick way to make it display correctly. I stumbled upon by pure accident as I tried to ALT+TAB back to Lightroom. My RSI finger completely unaware of what it should be doing pressed the desk instead of the ALT key by mistake, thus showing me that pressing TAB alone changes the view mode and makes it normal again… hallelujah!

There are other issues too. It’s slow. It lags a lot. If you import images to a new catalog you have to close LR after it’s imported them and reopen again or it runs slower than me in a school sports day father’s 100-meter race. Oh, and don’t forget to close the histogram as having a tiny graph at the top of your screen makes LR wheeze with pain at the pure exertion of displaying it.

While all these things might not seem much, they impact my day to day work, it’s an inconvenience I could do without, and as I’m paying regularly for the use of this software I’d damn well like it to work properly! It costs me time and frustrates the living daylights out of me.

System of a Down(beat Photographer)

I appreciate I don’t have a monster of a machine, but it is actually a higher spec than Adobe recommends. So going on their information, supplied in order for us to make informed purchases, I shouldn’t be having any issues, certainly not from a machine performance point-of-view anyway.

Problems in the Community

I asked the Facebook community that I run (please join us on there if you aren’t already a member) what issues people were facing and what spec machines they were using because as with most things in life, you worry that it’s maybe just you. It turns out I’m not alone!

Rob Georgeson [Intel Core i5 / 16GB RAM / 1GB NVIDIA Graphics Card / 120GB SSD HD]: “My pc definitely seems to be working harder just to do basic editing. It used to be a breeze but now I can hear the fans running at full speed trying to get my computer to chill the f**k out”.

Andrew Bowness & Esther Wild [Windows 10 / Intel i7-6700 @ 3.4ghz / 16GB RAM / SSD / 6GB Nvidia Graphics Card, Mac OS High Sierra (10.13.6) / Intel Core i5 / 8GB RAM / Radeon Pro 2048 Graphics Card] also are having the same issue, Andrew’s being so bad ‘I put music on to drown it out.’ Esther also has issues with it hanging and getting the spinning wheel of doom.

Michael Newington Gray & Paul Marbrook [Mac OS High Sierra / Intel Core i7 / 16GB RAM / AMD Radeon R9 Graphics Card, MAC OS High Sierra / Intel Core i5 / 24GB RAM / NVIDIA GeForce GT Graphics Card]: When flicking between images in Develop module the images aren’t loading / going sharp until I zoom in and out.

Oli Kelly [Windows 10 / Intel Core i5 / 8GB RAM / GeForce GTX 1050 Graphics Card]: When I’m doing brush work it can lag out so badly and make the mouse skip over the image like it’s buffering. When flicking through images it can pixelate the original raw for sometimes 10 seconds until it remembers what I have done to the image and then shows my edit.

Denver Aubrey [Mac OS High Sierra / Intel Core i5 / 24GB RAM / AMD Radeon R9 Graphics Card]: Everything seems to lag despite massive amounts of ram and a decent spec iMac. Drag a slider, let go, wait for half a second or a whole second and then see the effect. Maybe. Just updated LR CC classic today to the latest version. Now LR opens for about 2 mins and then unexpectedly quits.

Ally Hedayati [Mac OS High Sierra / Intel Core i7 / 20GB RAM / AMD Radeon HD 1024MB Graphics Card]: When I want to do some external editing in PS from LR, PS revets it to SRGB – making a black and white image colour for instance. Even though I have “turn to SRGB” unticked.

Jade Eleanor Evans [Mac OS High Sierra / Macbook Pro 15″ 2017 / Intel Core i7 / 16GB RAM / Radeon Pro 560 4GB Graphics Card]: Too slow, not sure what on earth it’s doing but I have one of the new macs (2017) and it gets so hot it actually leaves red marks on my legs when I have it on my lap. Even when its used on a desk it still gets hot and the fans sound louder than my hair dryer! Also for some unknown reason when I export and choose ‘resize to fit, longe edge’ I type in whatever for the long edge and that ends up being the shorter edge… No-one has any idea why it does this! So if I type in 2048 for the long edge (I mostly shoot landscape), they export at 3072 x 2048 making the shorter edge 2048 (yes I am definitely clicking ‘long edge’ not ‘shorter edge),

Jamie Ousby [Mac OS Sierra / Intel Core i7 / 16GB RAM / NVIDIA GeForce GT Graphics Card]: Lightroom doesn’t export some exposure changes for around 10 x images when exporting a wedding of 800+ images. Go to the image in question and adjust the exposure slider up and it accepts it. Switch to full screen to take a look and it shows the correct exposure for a split second and then flashes back to the “as shot” exposure. No matter what I do when exporting this image it will not accept the exposure setting.

A bride on her wedding day still traumatised after installing a new Lightroom update the day before. Image by Andrew Billington

What is your current relationship with Lightroom?

The Other Side of the Coin

Not everyone we spoke to experienced issues with Lightroom. In fact, some found it to work perfectly. Their specs were similar to those above with one large exception – their memory ranged between 32GB and 64GB RAM. So is this the solution?

Adobe, we’d love for you to clarify just what is going on here. Is it just you’ve told us incorrect information when stating the software should run perfectly on 12GB RAM (hell, it should still run ok on 4GB according to your minimum specifications)? Or, as I’ve been told many times by your beta testers, is the software inherently broken and does it need rebuilding from the ground up? If that’s the case, is this going to happen, and if so when?

Yours Sincerely

I did consider signing off this open letter with ‘yours faithfully’, but to be completely honest I’m only faithful to you because there aren’t any serious alternatives on the market at the moment. Yes, Capture One can do a similar job, but from what I’ve heard it’s not quite enough to make the leap over.

So I’ll stick with you until something better comes along… or you buck up your ideas enough to actually make this more than a marriage of necessity. Over to you, Adobe!

About the author: Andy Hudson is the co-founder of Photographers Keeping it Real, a website, award, and podcast for documentary wedding photographers. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the authors. You can find more content by Hudson and connect with him on his website and Facebook group. This article was also published here.

Image credits: Header illustration based on photo by Mwangi Gatheca

from Photography News http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PetaPixel/~3/2CnQC6wObGA/

[oovitus]

Would I be healthier if I quit drinking? My quest to understand the real tradeoffs of alcohol consumption.

The after-work gin and tonic. The bottle of wine over dinner. A few beers on the weekend. Before long, the alcohol adds up.

Is that a problem? Can drinking stand in the way of your health and fitness? Do you need to quit drinking to change your body? Or could it actually be good for you?

In this article we explore the question in a personal way.

++++

“Should I take a break from booze?”

Have you ever asked yourself this question?

I’ve asked it, as have many of our Precision Nutrition Coaching clients.

At the same time, like many of our clients, I’ve never really felt like I needed to quit drinking. My consumption is normal by most accounts, as is theirs. It’s “moderate.”

But boozy beverages seem to show up a lot in my life — and I know I’m not alone in that.

Maybe we like having a beer to mark the end of a work day. Maybe on Friday we get fancy with a cocktail.

Something to celebrate? Pour a little champagne. Crappy day? That Chardonnay or Cabernet will soften the edges a little bit.

The drinks can start to add up.

If we consider ourselves healthy people, alcohol is easy to justify. We exercise. We try to eat nutritious food. If we’re getting coaching, we know we’re working on our stuff.

But still. Some of us wonder…

Are we OK?

Are we justifying something we shouldn’t?

Are we ignoring the elephant in the room who’s currently dancing with a lampshade on its head and laughing a little too loud while telling off-color jokes?

Are we pretending craft beer or red wine is a health food because it’s artisanal or full of antioxidant something-something?

If we want to be healthy, fit, and functional, how does alcohol factor in?

As I discovered, the answer isn’t straightforward. (It rarely is.)

For one thing:

You may have heard that drinking is actually good for you.

Moderate alcohol intake is associated with a lower risk of diabetes, gallstones, and coronary heart disease.

Light to moderate drinking seems to be good for the heart and circulatory system, helping reduce your risk of cardiac arrest and clot-caused stroke by 25 to 40 percent.

And there have been several studies indicating that drinkers — even heavy drinkers — actually outlive people who don’t drink.

We see headlines like this every time a new study comes out, which seems fairly often, judging by my newsfeed.

An important point that seems to get buried:

If you don’t already drink, health experts recommend you don’t start.

Wait, what? If drinking is so good for you, then why not add that antioxidant-rich red wine to MyPlate — a nice goblet right where the milk used to be?

Because no one knows if any amount of alcohol is actually good for all of us.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you not to drink.

That’s not what this article is about.

But, despite all the headlines and pro-drinking studies:

Most of the research on alcohol’s potential health benefits are large, long-term epidemiological studies.

This type of research never proves anything.

Rather than showing that X causes Y, it simply says that X seems to be correlated with Y.

So even though many studies suggest that light to moderate drinkers have lower rates of the above-mentioned health problems than non-drinkers, that doesn’t mean drinking causes those benefits.

Sure, it could be that alcohol consumption raises HDL (“good”) cholesterol. Or it could be that moderate drinking reduces stress.

Or it could be that drinking doesn’t cause any health benefit.

Rather, it could be that people who drink a light to moderate amount also have something else going on in their lives, unrelated to alcohol consumption, that keeps them healthier, such as:

robust and resilient genes

a lower-stress personality

a particular lifestyle

good social connections and support

We just don’t know for sure.

Any physiological effects would vary from person to person.

The amount of alcohol that may help your heart health might harm your friend’s — for instance, if they have a history of high blood pressure.

And most of the research indicates that you’d have to be a light to moderate drinker with no heavy drinking episodes (even isolated ones) to see a heart benefit.

OK, given that…

What is “moderation”, anyway?

Definitions vary around the world, but according to the United States Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee, “moderate drinking” means, on average:

For women: up to seven drinks per week, with no more than three drinks on any single day.

For men: up to 14 drinks per week, with no more than four drinks on any single day.

And here’s a guide to health-agency classified “drinks”:

Sure, you might know you’re not a binge drinker (that’s five or more drinks for men, or upwards of four for women, within two hours).

But when was the last time you poured wine in a measuring cup, or tallied your total number of drinks at the end of the week, or calculated your weekly average in a given month, or adjusted your tally to account for that sky-high 9.9% ABV Strong Ale you love?

Studies show that people routinely, sometimes drastically, underestimate their alcohol consumption.

It’s easy to edge into the “heavy” category without realizing it.

For example, if you’re a woman:

That’s a big problem, since heavy drinking comes with a much higher risk of major health problems.

Risks associated with moderate and heavy alcohol consumption

Moderate Heavy Heart Arrhythmias High blood pressure Kidney disease Heart disease Stroke Brain Disinhibition Altered judgement Poor coordination Sleep disruption Alcoholism* Chemical dependence Depression Alcoholism Neurological damage Epilepsy Dementia Damage to developing brains Immunity Infection / illness / lowered immune response Cancer (mouth, throat, esophagus, liver, breast) Damaged intestinal barrier Increased inflammation / flare-ups of autoimmune disorders Hormones Breast cancer Hormone disruption Impaired sexual function Impaired reproductive function Thyroid disease Liver Worsening of existing conditions such as hepatitis Fatty liver Alcoholic hepatitis Fibrosis / cirrhosis Hepatocellular Liver cancer Metabolism Weight gain or stalled weight loss** Interference with some medications Loss of bone density Bone fractures Osteoporosis Anemia Pancreatitis Changes to fat metabolism Muscle damage

*Particularly if there’s alcoholism in your family **If drinking causes you to eat more food or opt for energy-dense meals

In young males especially, even moderate drinking increases the risk of accidental injury or death, due to the “Hey y’all, hold my beer and watch this!” effect, or simply the dangerous equation of youthful exuberance combined with less impulse control, combined with more peer pressure, combined with things like motor vehicles and machinery.

All drinking comes with potential health effects.

After all, alcohol is technically a kind of poison that our bodies must convert to less-harmful substances for us to enjoy a good buzz relatively safely.

Through a series of chemical pathways using the enzymes alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH) and aldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH), we convert ethanol to acetaldehyde, then to acetate. The body breaks acetate down into carbon dioxide and water.

A second system for processing alcohol, the microsomal ethanol oxidizing system (MEOS), involves cytochrome P450 (CYP), an enzyme group that chemically affects potentially toxic molecules (such as medications) so they can be safely excreted.

In light to moderate drinkers, only about 10 percent of ethanol processing is done by the MEOS. But in heavy drinkers, this system kicks in more strongly. That means the MEOS may be less available to process other toxins. Oxidative cell damage, and harm from high alcohol intake, then goes up.

The biochemistry doesn’t matter as much as the core concepts:

1. We have to change alcohol to tolerate it.

2. Our ability to process alcohol depends on many factors, such as:

our natural individual genetic tolerance

our ethnicity and genetic background (for instance, many people of East Asian ancestry have a genetically-linked aldehyde dehydrogenase enzyme deficiency, which affects their ability to properly metabolize alcohol)

our age

our body size

our biological sex

our individual combinations of conversion enzymes

etc.

3. Dose matters. But all alcohol requires some processing by the body.

So what’s the “sweet spot”?

What amount of alcohol balances enjoyment (and your jokes becoming funnier) with your body’s ability to respond and recover from processing something slightly poisonous?

The moderate-vs-heavy guidelines are the experts’ best guess at the amount of alcohol that can be consumed with statistically minimal risk, while still accounting for what a lot of people are probably going to do anyway: drink.

It doesn’t mean that moderate drinking is risk-free.

But drinking is fun. (There, I said it.)

In North America, we tend to separate physical well-being from our emotional state. In reality, quality of life, enjoyment, and social connections are important parts of health.

So let me say it:

I enjoy drinking.

So do a lot of other people.

In the U.S., for example, 65 percent of people say they consume alcohol. Of those drinkers, at least three quarters enjoy alcohol one or more times per week.

The wine flows at lunchtime in continental Europe (for Scandinavians, it’s the light beer lättöl). Hitting a pub or two after work is standard procedure in the UK and Japan. Northern Europeans swear by their brennivin, glögg, or akvavit (not to mention vodka). South America and South Africa alike are renowned for their red wines.

Thus, for much of the world’s population, alcohol — whether beer, wine or spirits — is something of a life staple.

And if you’re doing it right — meaning tasteful New Year’s Eve champagne toasts are more common in your life than shot-fueled bar dances to “Hotline Bling” — there are some undeniable benefits to be gained:

Pleasure: Assuming you’ve graduated from wine coolers and cheap tequila shots, alcoholic beverages usually taste pretty darn delicious.

Leisure: A bit of alcohol in your bloodstream does help you feel relaxed. And like a good meal, a good glass of wine should offer the opportunity to slow down for a minute.

Creativity: There’s evidence that when you’re tipsy, you may be more successful at problem-solving thanks to increased out-of-the-box thinking.

Social connection: Drinking may contribute to social bonding through what researchers call “golden moments” — when you all smile and laugh together over the same joke. This sense of community, belonging, and joy can contribute to your health and longevity.

If you’re going to drink, drink because you genuinely enjoy it.

Drink if it truly adds value and pleasure to your life.

Not because:

you’re stressed

it’s a habit

other people around you don’t want to drink alone; or

it’s “good for you”.

With confusing alcohol consumption categories and contradictory news headlines, many people give up trying to decide whether drinking is healthy or not.

A new study shows alcohol may be harmful? Whatever.

Or:

Drinkers live longer? I’ll hop on that horse and ride it straight to the bar!

So forget about the potential health benefits of alcohol.

There are plenty of (probably better) ways to reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease — like eating well, exercising, and not smoking.

Wanting the enjoyment of a perfect Old Fashioned or a rare sake is a legitimate — probably the best — reason to drink.

As with what you eat, what you drink should be purposeful and mindful. And delicious.

Drinking or not drinking isn’t about “healthy vs. not”. It’s about tradeoffs.

Alcohol is just one factor among many that affect physical performance, health, and fitness.

Whether to keep drinking or cut back depends on how much you drink, what your goals are, and how you want to prioritize those things.

Only you know what you are, or aren’t, willing to trade.

It may be a simple “yes” or “no”.

Saying “yes” to six-pack abs might mean saying “no” to a few drinks at the bar.

Saying “yes” to Friday happy hour might mean saying “no” to your Saturday morning workout.

Saying “yes” to marathon training might mean saying “no” to boozy Sunday brunches.

Saying “yes” to better sleep (and focus, and mood) might mean saying “no” to your daily wine with dinner.

Saying “yes” to moderate alcohol consumption might mean finding a way to say “no” to stress triggers (or human triggers) that make you want to drink more.

Or it may be where you’re willing to move along the continuum.

Maybe you’re willing to practice drinking more slowly and mindfully, but you’re not willing to decrease your total alcohol intake.

Maybe you’re trying to lose weight, so you’d consider drinking a little less. Like 2 beers instead of 3, but not 0.

Or, maybe you’re willing to stay sober during most social situations, but you’re not willing to endure your partner’s office party without a G&T on hand.

Maybe there is a “best” answer for how much alcohol is okay for everyone. But we don’t know what it is yet.

At least not for certain.

That’s OK.

You can write your own “Owner’s Manual” for YOU as a unique individual.

Guidelines for drinking don’t tell us who YOU are or what effects alcohol has on YOU.

So let’s forget about “expert” advice for just a moment.

Instead, let’s try letting your body lead.

Read its cues. Observe yourself carefully, gather data, and see how alcohol is — or isn’t — working for you.

Here’s how.

What to do next: Some tips from Precision Nutrition

1. Observe your drinking habits.

Keep track of all the alcohol you drink for a week or two (here’s a worksheet to help you).

You don’t need to share it with anyone or feel like you need to change anything. Just collect the info.

Next, review the data. Ask:

Am I drinking more than I thought? Maybe you hadn’t been taking the couple of casual beers with Sunday NFL into account.

Is my drinking urgent, mindless, or rushed? Slamming drinks back without stopping to savor them can be a sign that drinking is habitual, not purposeful.

Are there themes or patterns in my drinking? Perhaps you habitually over-drink on Friday because your job is really stressful.

Is alcohol helping me enjoy life, or is it stressing me out? If you’re not sleeping well or feeling worried about the drinking, the cost can outweigh the benefit.

Does alcohol bring any unwanted friends to the party? Binge eating, drug use, texting your ex?

If any of the answers to these questions raise red flags for you, consider cutting back and seeing how you feel.

2. Notice how alcohol affects your body.

Use Precision Nutrition’s “how’s that working for you?” litmus test. Ask:

Do I generally feel good? Simple, but telling.

Am I recovering? How’s my physical performance after drinking? If I were to hit the gym on Saturday morning after a Friday night social, how would I feel and perform?

What happens afterwards? Do I get a hangover, upset stomach, poor sleep, puffiness/bloating and/or other discomfort?

How does the extra energy intake work for my goals? Is alcohol adding some calories that I don’t want? Am I trying to lose weight, for instance?

What do my other physiological indicators say? What did my latest medical tests suggest? How’s my blood work? My blood pressure? Any other physiological indicators that I’m watching?

If you’re unsure about whether your alcohol use is helping or hurting you, talk to your doctor and get a read on your overall health.

3. Notice how alcohol affects your thoughts, emotions, assumptions, and general perspective on life.

Again: How’s that working for you?

Do you feel in control of your drinking? Are you choosing, deliberately and purposefully… or “finding yourself” drinking?

What kind of person are you when you are drinking? Are you a bon vivant, just slightly wittier and more relaxed, savoring a craft beer with friends? Or are you thinking, Let’s make that crap circus of a workday go away, as you pound back the liquid emotional anesthetic through gritted teeth?

If you had to stop drinking for a week, what would that be like? No big deal? Or did you feel mild panic when you read that question?

4. Play “Let’s Make a Deal”.

To pinpoint which goals and activities in your life are the most important to you, ask yourself:

What am I currently saying “yes” to?

What am I currently saying “no” to?

What am I willing to say “yes” to?

What am I willing to say “no” to?

What am I prepared to say “yes” and “no” to? Why?

There are no right or wrong answers.

Just choices and compromises.

You’re a grown-up who can think long-term and weigh options rationally. Whether you drink or not is your call.

5. Disrupt the autopilot.

One of the keys to behavior change is moving from unconscious, automatic reactions to conscious, deliberate decisions.

To experiment with decreasing your alcohol intake, try these strategies:

Delay your next drink. Just for 10 minutes, to see if you still want it.

Look for ways to circumvent your patterns. If you usually hit the bar after work, try booking an alcohol-free activity (like a movie date or a yoga class) with a friend instead. If you stock up on beer at the grocery store, skip that aisle altogether and pick up some quality teas or sparkling water instead.

Savor your drink. Tune into the sensations in front of you. Here’s an idea: try tasting wine like a sommelier. Look at it, swirl it, sniff it, taste it.

Swap quantity for quality. Drink less, but when you do drink, treat yourself to the good stuff.

6. Call on the experts.

Change almost always works better with support. It’s hard to change alone.

Talk to your doctor about your drinking patterns and your health.

Consider genetic testing. Many commercial genetic testing services can tell you about your alcohol tolerance, or your risk of other chronic diseases (such as breast cancer) that are linked to alcohol intake.

Get nutrition coaching. Precision Nutrition coaches specialize in helping clients optimize diet and lifestyle patterns for good.

7. If you choose to drink, enjoy it.

Savor it. Enjoy it mindfully, ideally among good company.

If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes (including how to manage energy balance) — in a way that supports long-term progress — is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

What’s it all about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most respected nutrition education program. It gives you the knowledge, systems, and tools you need to really understand how food influences a person’s health and fitness. Plus the ability to turn that knowledge into a thriving coaching practice.

Developed over 15 years, and proven with nearly 100,000 clients and patients, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone as the authority on the science of nutrition and the art of coaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or just starting out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your name to the presale list. You’ll save up to 33% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, October 3rd, 2018.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following presale list, which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to boost their credentials and are ready to commit to getting the education they need. So we’re offering a discount of up to 33% off the general price when you sign up for the presale list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the certification program twice per year. Due to high demand, spots in the program are limited and have historically sold out in a matter of hours. But when you sign up for the presale list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready for a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results… this is your chance to see what the world’s top professional nutrition coaching system can do for you. jQuery(document).ready(function(){ jQuery("#references_link").click(function(){ jQuery("#references_holder").show(); jQuery("#references_link").parent().hide(); }); });

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[mammothstrengthx]

Those 3 Little Words..Performance Enhancing…

The fact 101% of the people reading that title filled in the black with DRUGS is very telling.  It just goes to show that PED use is prevalent.  You would think that it would mostly be restricted to the Professional ranks, where any competitive advantage would lead to a bigger pay day.  However, this is not the case.  Let’s face it, we live in a society where alcohol, tobacco and illegal narcotics are used on a daily basis.  With the exception of marijuana (sorry Republicans), none of them have any particular health benefits other than numbing the senses to escape the world around you.

PED’s on the other hand increase your ability to do the things you want to be good at.  So why would it come as a surprise that the number of people that actually use them is several orders of magnitude more than the Average Joe might imagine?  Unfortunately the number of PED users is not the only thing that Mr. Average Joe is ignorant of.  Human beings are pattern seeking mammals, and are prone to labeling something, throwing it in a box and never thinking about it again.  That tendency is perpetuated by the information age that we currently live in.  If something wants to get our attention it better be something we can digest in 140 characters or less, be related to an adorable kitten, or be in some state of undress.  As a result, despite walking around with the culmination of human intelligence in our smart phone, the majority of people seem to choose speed and ignorance over careful study and actual KNOWLEDGE.

How does that apply to performance enhancing drugs?  Well you get people that think anabolic steroids are a magical elixir brewed by the Devil himself to destroy the integrity of sports and kill off every first born male child.  Of course these same people, with no personal experience whatsoever are fairly certain if they had just “cheated” and used steroids they would have made it to Pros themselves.  Unfortunately, once that delusional belief finally takes hold it’s not long before they are out in a field recording videos of their passing skilz, and claiming they could throw a football over a mountain.  I mean if you can convince yourself that one demonstrably false idea is true, then the floodgates open and you can believe all kinds of batshit insane things that make you feel better.

“How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.” –Uncle Rico”

Here in my home town of reality it is fairly easy to see that this just isn’t so.  However, it is my personal belief that the bitterness caused by the aforementioned delusions are part of the vilification of steroid use by athletes.  That along with a healthy dose of propaganda from the medical community, and you have a general public that think that people are droppin dead from anabolic steroid use every day.  All I can say to that is “Show Me the Bodies…”

When you actually ask the anti-steroid crowd to produce evidence of all these deaths they don’t really have much to offer.  It is like any other “faith based belief”, when you convince yourself of something with little to no evidence then you are admitting that evidence doesn't matter to you.  And whenever an athlete dies with steroids in his system (or is known to have used them at any point) then that is always one if not the top reason for their death as far as the media is concerned.  I honestly believe that if Mark McGwire died tomorrow of a snake bite, somehow his steroid use which obviously compromised his immune system would be responsible.  The rules of modern “journalism”…Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.

This Graph shows the mortality rates of people who use tobacco and alcohol compared to anabolic steroids. It should be noted that 45 million people use tobacco and nearly 100 million people use alcohol. There isn’t any such quantitative data for anabolic steroid users (Center for Disease Control 2011). [Read more]

None of this is to suggest that anabolic steroids are necessarily “safe”.  If you have any kind of pre-existing condition then a substance that cause growth can exacerbate the situation.  As with anything else in life the safety of something is directly related to the person using it.  Guns are perfectly safe, in the hands of someone trained in gun safety.  Most people would consider hammers even safer, and yet hammers are responsible for hundreds of deaths each year.

Anyone that has read anything I write knows what a big fan of IRONY I am.  And the discussion about PED’s is rife with it.  I have to admit that I sometimes am bored enough to listen to sports talk radio.  And the local channel here is always getting into the anti-PED discussion.  Then when they go to commercial you find out that one of their sponsors is a local HRT Clinic.  In case you didn't know, hormone replacement therapy is the legal way to use anabolic steroids and growth hormone.  All you have to do is convince a Doc that you have lost a little pep in your step, give them your insurance information, pay your deductible and BAM…suddenly PED’s are ok.  Apparently cheating death and the aging process is socially acceptable.  What is also funny is it is socially acceptable for doctors and lawyers to abuse caffeine and other stimulants to get through school and internship.  But a professional athlete that chooses to use PED’s to increase his job performance is EVIL?   Speaking of performance enhancement, how many guys die from Viagra use every year?

Now before you make the mistake of thinking that I am advocating cheating, please know that I AM NOT!  When you compete in a sport that says “doing this is against the rules”, and you do it anyway then you are by definition a cheater.  I am simply questioning the rules, and attempting to point out the inconsistency of the general public’s moral judgment.

POP QUIZ HOT SHOT!!

Why are performance ENHANCING drugs illegal, while performance debilitating drugs such as alcohol and tobacco are legal?! 

A)     Politics

B)     Ignorance

C)     Misinformation/Propaganda

D)     The Myth of The Level Playing Field

E)      All of the above

If you answered anything other than E) All of the Above, I’m sorry but we have some wonderful parting gifts for you.  Obviously politics play a huge role in this equation.  Alcohol and tobacco companies have HUGE lobbying budgets, and are huge profit generating industries.  Unfortunately, there is no corporation that would stand to benefit if PED’s were legalized.  And make no mistake about it money makes the world go around.

Of course ignorance and misinformation play its part in this as well.  The general public, mostly due to apathy, is at the mercy of CNN and FOX for fair and balanced reporting on issues.  Again as I said before, if you aren't really concerned with actual facts and evidence, then you will believe whatever story someone tells you.  Truthfully PED’s just seem to be one of those anomalies that gets lumped into the “Drugs are bad mmmmmkay” mentality of Joe Six Pack.

As much as all of the other reason have something to do with PED’s being illegal; I would argue that the myth of the Level Playing field is the most influential.  For some reason, especially in the United States people think that sports are somehow sacred, and that the records involved in these sports are the Holiest of Holies.

In some strange way I suppose it makes sense.  If sports fans didn't have statistics and records to compare to other fans there would be no more sports hate and pissing contests.  And then *gasp* people would have to accept that sports are just ENTERTAINMENT just like movies and music.  As an aside, think of how ridiculous it would be if people got into drunken fist fights at movie theaters over who’s favorite actor was better.  See what happens when things are put into context.

The truth is that people have been using drugs of all kinds for the entirety of human civilization.  It is only recently that we have deemed some of those drugs illegal.  The “War on Drugs” has been an epic failure, and has not served to curb people’s use of drugs.  It has only served to turn law abiding citizens into criminals.  The same can be said for PED’s.  Athletes are competitive by nature, and to get to the very elite level you are always looking for a way to make yourself better.  The legality of PED’s have turned World Record performances into *Asterisks, and left a black mark on the athletes name.  Guess what, Mark McGwire's homeruns STILL entertained you, and Lance Armstrong STILL raised HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!  So is the problem the athletes, or the laws?

Many fans are opposed to athletes using PED’s, but they also want to see records being broken and they celebrate bigger, stronger, faster without the slightest bit of acknowledgement to the irony of the situation.  Don’t for a second believe that fans give a shit about the players.  They want to be entertained, and when the players get a little long in the tooth, they will want them put out to pasture.  So why wouldn’t a professional athlete dabble in PED’s to extend his professional career a year or two?!  How many of those same fans wouldn’t do the EXACT SAME THING if they had a chance to earn a couple Million Dollars?!

Another thing you will hear is the claim that they are worried about the children, “what about the children” they cry.  By that same logic, shouldn’t they be trying to get drugs and alcohol out of the music industry?  Wouldn’t society be so much better for our children, and for our future if everyone was a teetotaler with regards to all drugs?!  And since it is obvious that you don't care about Pro Athletes once they get past their prime entertainment years, why exactly should the athletes care about being role models to YOUR CHILDREN?!

Here’s the thing, and you may not want to hear it, but if you honestly think that would be a good thing then be careful what you wish for.  You would have to put an *Asterisk next to the majority of the past 100 years.  There would be no more records broken in your lifetime, and the music industry would suck worse than it already does.  Again I am not sayin that athletes should cheat, they should not.  I am suggesting it is hypocrisy of the highest order to make PED's illegal (unless they are part of HRT..thus proving their medical benefit) while alcohol and tobacco are legal.

My point is NOT to advocate PED use.  My point is to advocate education.  If you think PED's (or any drug for that matter) should be illegal then you should have solid reasoning behind it.  If your only reason is FEAR of what might happen if they were legal, then really is that even an argument?!  If you are afraid of "what might happen", then shouldn't you be outraged at what IS happening with regards to alcohol and tobacco.  You seriously are stepping over the bodies of hundreds of thousands of people that die each year from alcohol and tobacco abuse to try to find one or two people that might possibly have died from steroid use.  This kind of inconsistent moral outrage, and the hypocrisy is staggering to try to comprehend.  I will close with the my question from earlier, and I welcome all different points of view…

Why are performance ENHANCING drugs illegal, while performance debilitating drugs such as alcohol and tobacco are legal?!

Read additional information on: http://mammothstrength.com

[t-baba]

Testing Data-Intensive Code With Go, Part 3

Overview

This is part three out of five in a tutorial series on testing data-intensive code with Go. In part two, I covered testing against a real in-memory data layer based on the popular SQLite. In this tutorial, I'll go over testing against a local complex data layer that includes a relational DB and a Redis cache.

Testing Against a Local Data Layer

Testing against an in-memory data layer is awesome. The tests are lightning fast, and you have full control. But sometimes you need to be closer to the actual configuration of your production data layer. Here are some possible reasons:

You use specific details of your relational DB that you want to test.

Your data layer consists of several interacting data stores.

The code under test consists of several processes accessing the same data layer.

You want to prepare or observe your test data using standard tools.

You don't want to implement a dedicated in-memory data layer if your data layer is in flux.

You just want to know that you're testing against your actual data layer.

You need to test with a lot of data that doesn't fit in memory.

I'm sure there are other reasons, but you can see why just using an in-memory data layer for testing may not be enough in many cases.

OK. So we want to test an actual data layer. But we still want to be as lightweight and agile as possible. That means a local data layer. Here are the benefits:

No need to provision and configure anything in the data center or the cloud.

No need to worry about our tests corrupting the production data by accident.

No need to coordinate with fellow developers in a shared test environment. 

No slowness over the network calls.

Full control over the content of the data layer, with the ability to start from scratch any time.  

In this tutorial we'll up the ante. We'll implement (very partially) a hybrid data layer that consists of a MariaDB relational DB and a Redis server. Then we will use Docker to stand up a local data layer we can use in our tests. 

Using Docker to Avoid Installation Headaches

First, you need Docker, of course. Check out the documentation if you're not familiar with Docker. The next step is to get images for our data stores: MariaDB and Redis. Without getting into too much detail, MariaDB is a great relational DB compatible with MySQL, and Redis is a great in-memory key-value store (and much more). 

> docker pull mariadb ... > docker pull redis ... > docker images REPOSITORY TAG IMAGE ID CREATED SIZE mariadb latest 51d6a5e69fa7 2 weeks ago 402MB redis latest b6dddb991dfa 2 weeks ago 107MB

Now that we have Docker installed and we have the images for MariaDB and Redis, we can write a docker-compose.yml file, which we'll use to launch our data stores. Let's call our DB "songify".

mariadb-songify: image: mariadb:latest command: > --general-log --general-log-file=/var/log/mysql/query.log expose: - "3306" ports: - "3306:3306" environment: MYSQL_DATABASE: "songify" MYSQL_ALLOW_EMPTY_PASSWORD: "true" volumes_from: - mariadb-data mariadb-data: image: mariadb:latest volumes: - /var/lib/mysql entrypoint: /bin/bash redis: image: redis expose: - "6379" ports: - "6379:6379"

You can launch your data stores with the docker-compose up command (similar to vagrant up). The output should look like this: 

> docker-compose up Starting hybridtest_redis_1 ... Starting hybridtest_mariadb-data_1 ... Starting hybridtest_redis_1 Starting hybridtest_mariadb-data_1 ... done Starting hybridtest_mariadb-songify_1 ... Starting hybridtest_mariadb-songify_1 ... done Attaching to hybridtest_mariadb-data_1, hybridtest_redis_1, hybridtest_mariadb-songify_1 . . . redis_1 | * DB loaded from disk: 0.002 seconds redis_1 | * Ready to accept connections . . . mariadb-songify_1 | [Note] mysqld: ready for connections. . . .

At this point, you have a full-fledged MariaDB server listening on port 3306 and a Redis server listening on port 6379 (both are the standard ports).

The Hybrid Data Layer

Let's take advantage of these powerful data stores and upgrade our data layer to a hybrid data layer that caches songs per user in Redis. When GetSongsByUser() is called, the data layer will first check if Redis already stores the songs for the user. If it does then just return the songs from Redis, but if it doesn't (cache miss) then it will fetch the songs from MariaDB and populate the Redis cache, so it's ready for the next time. 

Here is the struct and constructor definition. The struct keeps a DB handle like before and also a redis client. The constructor connects to the relational DB as well as to Redis. It creates the schema and flushes redis only if the corresponding parameters are true, which is needed only for testing. In production, you create the schema once (ignoring schema migrations).

type HybridDataLayer struct { db *sql.DB redis *redis.Client } func NewHybridDataLayer(dbHost string, dbPort int, redisHost string, createSchema bool, clearRedis bool) (*HybridDataLayer, error) { dsn := fmt.Sprintf("root@tcp(%s:%d)/", dbHost, dbPort) if createSchema { err := createMariaDBSchema(dsn) if err != nil { return nil, err } } db, err := sql.Open("mysql", dsn+"desongcious?parseTime=true") if err != nil { return nil, err } redisClient := redis.NewClient(&redis.Options{ Addr: redisHost + ":6379", Password: "", DB: 0, }) _, err = redisClient.Ping().Result() if err != nil { return nil, err } if clearRedis { redisClient.FlushDB() } return &HybridDataLayer{db, redisClient}, nil }

Using MariaDB

MariaDB and SQLite are a little different as far as DDL goes. The differences are small, but important. Go doesn't have a mature cross-DB toolkit like Python's fantastic SQLAlchemy, so you have to manage it yourself (no, Gorm doesn't count). The main differences are:

The SQL driver is "http://ift.tt/1kNPaoi".

The database doesn't live in memory, so it is recreated every time (drop and create). 

The schema must be a slice of independent DDL statements instead of one string of all statements.

The auto incrementing primary keys are marked by AUTO_INCREMENT.

VARCHAR instead of TEXT.

Here is the code:

func createMariaDBSchema(dsn string) error { db, err := sql.Open("mysql", dsn) if err != nil { return err } // Recreate DB commands := []string{ "DROP DATABASE songify;", "CREATE DATABASE songify;", } for _, s := range (commands) { _, err = db.Exec(s) if err != nil { return err } } // Create schema db, err = sql.Open("mysql", dsn+"songify?parseTime=true") if err != nil { return err } schema := []string{ `CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS song ( id INTEGER PRIMARY KEY AUTO_INCREMENT, url VARCHAR(2088) UNIQUE, title VARCHAR(100), description VARCHAR(500) );`, `CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS user ( id INTEGER PRIMARY KEY AUTO_INCREMENT, name VARCHAR(100), email VARCHAR(100) UNIQUE, registered_at TIMESTAMP, last_login TIMESTAMP );`, "CREATE INDEX user_email_idx ON user (email);", `CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS label ( id INTEGER PRIMARY KEY AUTO_INCREMENT, name VARCHAR(100) UNIQUE );`, "CREATE INDEX label_name_idx ON label (name);", `CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS label_song ( label_id INTEGER NOT NULL REFERENCES label (id), song_id INTEGER NOT NULL REFERENCES song (id), PRIMARY KEY (label_id, song_id) );`, `CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS user_song ( user_id INTEGER NOT NULL REFERENCES user (id), song_id INTEGER NOT NULL REFERENCES song (id), PRIMARY KEY (user_id, song_id) );`, } for _, s := range (schema) { _, err = db.Exec(s) if err != nil { return err } } return nil }

Using Redis

Redis is very easy to use from Go. The "http://ift.tt/2q2TWuR" client library is very intuitive and faithfully follows the Redis commands. For example, to test if a key exists, you just use the Exits() method of the redis client, which accepts one or more keys and returns how many of them exist. 

In this case, I check for one key only:

count, err := m.redis.Exists(email).Result() if err != nil { return err }

Testing Access to Multiple Data Stores

The tests are actually identical. The interface didn't change, and the behavior didn't change. The only change is that the implementation now keeps a cache in Redis. The GetSongsByEmail() method now just calls refreshUser_Redis().

func (m *HybridDataLayer) GetSongsByUser(u User) (songs []Song, err error) { err = m.refreshUser_Redis(u.Email, &songs) return }

The refreshUser_Redis() method returns the user songs from Redis if they exist and otherwise fetches them from MariaDB.

type Songs *[]Song func (m *HybridDataLayer) refreshUser_Redis(email string, out Songs) error { count, err := m.redis.Exists(email).Result() if err != nil { return err } if count == 0 { err = m.getSongsByUser_DB(email, out) if err != nil { return err } for _, song := range *out { s, err := serializeSong(song) if err != nil { return err } _, err = m.redis.SAdd(email, s).Result() if err != nil { return err } } return } members, err := m.redis.SMembers(email).Result() for _, member := range members { song, err := deserializeSong([]byte(member)) if err != nil { return err } *out = append(*out, song) } return out, nil }

There is a slight problem here from a testing methodology point of view. When we test through the abstract data layer interface, we have no visibility into the data layer implementation.

For example, it's possible that there is a big flaw where the data layer completely skips the cache and always fetches the data from the DB. The tests will pass, but we don't get to benefit from the cache. I'll talk in part five about testing your cache, which is very important.  

Conclusion

In this tutorial, we covered testing against a local complex data layer that consists of multiple data stores (a relational DB and a Redis cache). We also utilized Docker to easily deploy multiple data stores for testing.

In part four, we will focus on testing against remote data stores, using snapshots of production data for our tests, and also generating our own test data. Stay tuned!

by Gigi Sayfan via Envato Tuts+ Code http://ift.tt/2BhZmbJ

#CSS3 #HTML5 Branding #HTML5 Weekly #HTMLl5 demos #Javascript #Javascript Branding #Javascript Weekly

[ronaldmrashid]

Sexual Harassment At Uber Reminds Us That HR Is Not Your Friend

One of the key takeaways from my book, How To Engineer Your Layoff, is understanding that the Human Resources department is not on your side. First and foremost, the HR department is there to protect the company from liability. After such protection is made, maybe then HR will help a troubled employee with a problem.

My experience comes from being a manager at a major financial organization, having to work with HR to hire and lay off staff, negotiating my own severance, and consulting with dozens of people about negotiating their own severance since publishing my severance negotiation book in 2012. Your best strategy is to befriend HR but hold sensitive information close to heart right before making a move.

Because Uber is the most successful startup of all time at its current stage, it’s always going to be a target. The latest damning news about the company comes from Susan Flowers, a former engineer at Uber who penned a post called, Reflecting On One Very Strange Year At Uber. You should read the post if you are an employee, manager, woman, startup entrepreneur, or work in HR. You should also read the post if you’re a bored entrepreneur crazy enough to think that going back to work will make you happier!

Susan writes that she was sexually harassed at Uber and denied upward mobility due to being a woman. This is not a surprise for those of us who have experience working in Silicon Valley, an area dominated by socially awkward men who’ve suddenly become hot stuff due to their computer engineering skills. Here’s an excerpt from her post:

On my first official day rotating on the team, my new manager sent me a string of messages over company chat. He was in an open relationship, he said, and his girlfriend was having an easy time finding new partners but he wasn’t. He was trying to stay out of trouble at work, he said, but he couldn’t help getting in trouble, because he was looking for women to have sex with. It was clear that he was trying to get me to have sex with him, and it was so clearly out of line that I immediately took screenshots of these chat messages and reported him to HR.

Clearly, this type of behavior from a manager is NOT OK. The manager should be fired for trying to take advantage of a subordinate. No employee should ever have to feel uncomfortable going to work.

However, if your goal is to survive an organization’s politics, immediately reporting your manager to HR for any grievances could be a suboptimal career move. Instead, it’s important to consider CONFRONTING your oppressor first, spelling out exactly what it is s/he is doing that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Yes, confrontation is sometimes scary, but it is a must to help save your skin. Most oppressors don’t get confronted because the majority of people they maltreat are terrified to stand up for themselves. It’s so much easier to report someone than work out difficult and unsuitable situations yourself. Heck, trying to solve difficult situations is why most people quit instead of engineer their layoff.

But what you’ll find is that once you stand up to your oppressor, he should get the message and back off. The bully now knows you won’t stand for his bullshit, and if the bully continues, he knows he’s putting his career and reputation at risk.

One confrontation hack I used when it was time for me to face someone at work was envisioning what type of power this person or senior employee had over me OUTSIDE of work. The answer was always nothing. He was just another regular chump.

Here are more excerpts from her post highlighting how Susan continuously reported everything she felt was wrong to HR:

Things were beginning to get even more comically absurd with each passing day. Every time something ridiculous happened, every time a sexist email was sent, I’d sent a short report to HR just to keep a record going.

Less than a week after this absurd meeting, my manager scheduled a 1:1 with me, and told me we needed to have a difficult conversation. He told me I was on very thin ice for reporting his manager to HR.

California is an at-will employment state, he said, which means we can fire you if you ever do this again. I told him that was illegal, and he replied that he had been a manager for a long time, he knew what was illegal, and threatening to fire me for reporting things to HR was not illegal. I reported his threat immediately after the meeting to both HR and to the CTO: they both admitted that this was illegal, but none of them did anything.

With each HR reporting, Susan trapped herself in an increasingly difficult position because HR was building a case for the company, and not for her. The only thing Susan could do was leave Uber after one year, which is EXACTLY what HR wanted. Any HR department would prefer a disgruntled employee leaving quietly on his/her own versus having to deal with the complexities and negative ramifications of settling a legal case.

Unfortunately for Uber, Susan took to the internet to air her grievances and caused a massive backlash by reviving the #DeleteUber hashtag on social media. If HR and management had properly addressed the issues earlier, Susan would never have publicly blown up the company.

If Uber is valued at ~$66 billion based on the last round of funding, this negative PR could EASILY wipe away at least $1 billion in market value as consumers switch over to Lyft or other means of ridesharing transportation. Perhaps the damage is actually much greater given a reputation takes a tremendous amount of time to rebuild.

Hiring former attorney general, Eric Holder to lead an investigation into claims of sexual harassment and discrimination is totally a PR move, and the wrong one. First, if they want to hire anybody to investigate, it should be a woman. Second, how much investigating do you really need when you can easily find out who Susan Fowler’s HR manager was who repeatedly ignored her reports?

See: Massive Reputation Destruction Is Why Negotiating A Severance Is Possible

Understand The Role Of Human Resources

Most employees think of HR as a department that handles the onboarding of new employees, ensures everybody plays nice with each other and helps struggling employees do better. The reality is the HR department’s primary purpose is to protect the company and senior management from liability. The second goal of HR is to ensure the company is as successful as possible given their own careers are at stake.

Employers need workers to grow a business. But employers also realize that with each worker they hire, there’s a risk the employee might cause problems within the organization. HR is there to try and smooth things out before things reach extreme levels, e.g. settlements over lawsuits.

It is true states such as California have “at-will” employment laws, which mean a company can choose to lay off an employee whenever they want. But seldom are companies so ruthless as to lay employees off without proper documentation. Documentation is why it often takes at least one review and six months before a company will lay off any employee because if the employee ever sues for wrongful termination, the company can show they highlighted the performance issues and gave the employee a chance to improve.

The reason why Susan’s first manager wasn’t fired immediately after being reported was because he was deemed a “high performer.” Uber HR determined the manager was more valuable to the company than his transgressions. Clearly, this shows that HR is on the corporation’s side, and not on Susan’s side.

With each HR reporting, HR builds a case that Susan is a weak, easily offended employee, who isn’t willing to talk things out and play nice with others. HR can basically manipulate their interpretation of Susan’s reporting as they see fit to protect the company and its highest performers.

The HR rep began the meeting by asking me if I had noticed that *I* was the common theme in all of the reports I had been making, and that if I had ever considered that I might be the problem.

Do not think for one second that everything you reveal to HR will be kept confidential and won’t be reported to your manager or someone in a position to determine your future.

I won’t discuss details about my experience with HR when subordinates were unhappy. All I can say is that I knew what unhappy subordinates were saying to HR because HR told me. And I’m sure there are things I don’t know from HR that were told to my managers because they deemed me a liability if I knew too much.

Instead of hiring the former U.S. Attorney General, Uber should reprimand or fire the HR manager for not properly managing Susan’s situation after repeated reports. But that would be too logical!

Your Goal As An Employee

Do these simple things if you want to survive workplace politics and get ahead.

1) Read your employee handbook. I’m constantly surprised that most people have never read their employee handbook. It is loaded with great information to your benefit. If the information is in your employee handbook, that means it is gospel. HR/management cannot go back and argue against whatever thing you did if it is OK per the handbook.

2) Keep meticulous records of perceived transgressions. Document everything you think is wrong. This includes inappropriate e-mails, texts, conversations, events. But keep everything private until you really need to talk. Your highly organized documentation will serve as your ammunition during any bargaining process.

3) Build a relationship with your office HR manager. If you can get your HR manager to be on your side, you’ve got a powerful ally because she will help you navigate the land mines. It’s human nature to help people you like. HR people are no different. Take her out for coffee. Ask about her vacation. If she has a family, inquire about their health. Hopefully, you really do build a great relationship. If not, at least make it clear you are a hard working, thoughtful, and caring employee. HR does have the power to speak on your behalf and make recommendations about your future with the company.

4) Confront your oppressor and talk things out. People who oppress in the workplace are sometimes CLUELESS about their actions. Because nobody tells them they are being weird, sexist, rude, or whatever, they continue to act inappropriately because they believe whatever they are doing must be OK. One strategy is to just take them out for lunch or coffee on you. You can disarm them with your generosity, making it much easier to share what’s on your mind. Bottling things up and exploding is not healthy. And reporting your manager to HR when everything you say could get back to your manager can be a risky, career limiting move. Stand up for yourself and talk things through.

5) Know your leverage. If you’ve come to wits’ end, then leaving is probably your best option. Leaving quietly is one way to go about things. Leaving through a lawsuit is another way. But the best way is to engineer your layoff so that both parties get something, i.e. go through mediation. The reason why I was able to earn a severance and keep five years worth of deferred compensation is by knowing my leverage and having a dialogue. After 11 years at my firm, I knew that if I left, the revenue I helped generate for the firm would decline by multiples more than the cost of my employment. Therefore, I came up with a plan to transition my clients to my subordinate over a two month period to help them minimize any losses. I also made it clear to my employer that I wasn’t going to a competitor, which made negotiations much easier.

2015 German study

Things Can Usually Be Worked Out

Please think twice before firing off every transgression, perceived or otherwise, to HR. That could set you up for failure. Instead, confront your terrible co-worker and clearly delineate that which is bothering you. If that doesn’t work, speak to a manager you think you can trust to help you. Speaking to HR is sadly the last resort.

As good fortune would have it, Susan landed on her feet at Stripe, another richly valued startup. It was wise of Susan to light Uber’s barn on fire after she solidified her position. Who’s going to dare bother her now?

Related:

Career Advice For Women: Blaze Your Own Path Instead!

Is Your Nose Brown Enough To Get Ahead?

How To Get Revenge From An Employer Who Fired You 

Readers, what are your thoughts about Susan’s case? Is there anything she could have done better to improve her situation? Why aren’t the HR people at Uber who let this slide not being accused? Could it be because HR works for senior management and not the employees? Why don’t more people confront their workplace oppressor if they are at wits’ end? Have you ever been sexually harassed or felt extremely uncomfortable at work? If so, how did you deal with the situation?

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/sexual-harassment-at-uber-reminds-us-hr-is-not-your-friend/

#Financial Samurai

[mammothstrengthx]

Those 3 Little Words..Performance Enhancing…

The fact 101% of the people reading that title filled in the black with DRUGS is very telling.  It just goes to show that PED use is prevalent.  You would think that it would mostly be restricted to the Professional ranks, where any competitive advantage would lead to a bigger pay day.  However, this is not the case.  Let’s face it, we live in a society where alcohol, tobacco and illegal narcotics are used on a daily basis.  With the exception of marijuana (sorry Republicans), none of them have any particular health benefits other than numbing the senses to escape the world around you.

PED’s on the other hand increase your ability to do the things you want to be good at.  So why would it come as a surprise that the number of people that actually use them is several orders of magnitude more than the Average Joe might imagine?  Unfortunately the number of PED users is not the only thing that Mr. Average Joe is ignorant of.  Human beings are pattern seeking mammals, and are prone to labeling something, throwing it in a box and never thinking about it again.  That tendency is perpetuated by the information age that we currently live in.  If something wants to get our attention it better be something we can digest in 140 characters or less, be related to an adorable kitten, or be in some state of undress.  As a result, despite walking around with the culmination of human intelligence in our smart phone, the majority of people seem to choose speed and ignorance over careful study and actual KNOWLEDGE.

How does that apply to performance enhancing drugs?  Well you get people that think anabolic steroids are a magical elixir brewed by the Devil himself to destroy the integrity of sports and kill off every first born male child.  Of course these same people, with no personal experience whatsoever are fairly certain if they had just “cheated” and used steroids they would have made it to Pros themselves.  Unfortunately, once that delusional belief finally takes hold it’s not long before they are out in a field recording videos of their passing skilz, and claiming they could throw a football over a mountain.  I mean if you can convince yourself that one demonstrably false idea is true, then the floodgates open and you can believe all kinds of batshit insane things that make you feel better.

“How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.” –Uncle Rico”

Here in my home town of reality it is fairly easy to see that this just isn’t so.  However, it is my personal belief that the bitterness caused by the aforementioned delusions are part of the vilification of steroid use by athletes.  That along with a healthy dose of propaganda from the medical community, and you have a general public that think that people are droppin dead from anabolic steroid use every day.  All I can say to that is “Show Me the Bodies…”

When you actually ask the anti-steroid crowd to produce evidence of all these deaths they don’t really have much to offer.  It is like any other “faith based belief”, when you convince yourself of something with little to no evidence then you are admitting that evidence doesn't matter to you.  And whenever an athlete dies with steroids in his system (or is known to have used them at any point) then that is always one if not the top reason for their death as far as the media is concerned.  I honestly believe that if Mark McGwire died tomorrow of a snake bite, somehow his steroid use which obviously compromised his immune system would be responsible.  The rules of modern “journalism”…Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.

This Graph shows the mortality rates of people who use tobacco and alcohol compared to anabolic steroids. It should be noted that 45 million people use tobacco and nearly 100 million people use alcohol. There isn’t any such quantitative data for anabolic steroid users (Center for Disease Control 2011). [Read more]

None of this is to suggest that anabolic steroids are necessarily “safe”.  If you have any kind of pre-existing condition then a substance that cause growth can exacerbate the situation.  As with anything else in life the safety of something is directly related to the person using it.  Guns are perfectly safe, in the hands of someone trained in gun safety.  Most people would consider hammers even safer, and yet hammers are responsible for hundreds of deaths each year.

Anyone that has read anything I write knows what a big fan of IRONY I am.  And the discussion about PED’s is rife with it.  I have to admit that I sometimes am bored enough to listen to sports talk radio.  And the local channel here is always getting into the anti-PED discussion.  Then when they go to commercial you find out that one of their sponsors is a local HRT Clinic.  In case you didn't know, hormone replacement therapy is the legal way to use anabolic steroids and growth hormone.  All you have to do is convince a Doc that you have lost a little pep in your step, give them your insurance information, pay your deductible and BAM…suddenly PED’s are ok.  Apparently cheating death and the aging process is socially acceptable.  What is also funny is it is socially acceptable for doctors and lawyers to abuse caffeine and other stimulants to get through school and internship.  But a professional athlete that chooses to use PED’s to increase his job performance is EVIL?   Speaking of performance enhancement, how many guys die from Viagra use every year?

Now before you make the mistake of thinking that I am advocating cheating, please know that I AM NOT!  When you compete in a sport that says “doing this is against the rules”, and you do it anyway then you are by definition a cheater.  I am simply questioning the rules, and attempting to point out the inconsistency of the general public’s moral judgment.

POP QUIZ HOT SHOT!!

Why are performance ENHANCING drugs illegal, while performance debilitating drugs such as alcohol and tobacco are legal?! 

A)     Politics

B)     Ignorance

C)     Misinformation/Propaganda

D)     The Myth of The Level Playing Field

E)      All of the above

If you answered anything other than E) All of the Above, I’m sorry but we have some wonderful parting gifts for you.  Obviously politics play a huge role in this equation.  Alcohol and tobacco companies have HUGE lobbying budgets, and are huge profit generating industries.  Unfortunately, there is no corporation that would stand to benefit if PED’s were legalized.  And make no mistake about it money makes the world go around.

Of course ignorance and misinformation play its part in this as well.  The general public, mostly due to apathy, is at the mercy of CNN and FOX for fair and balanced reporting on issues.  Again as I said before, if you aren't really concerned with actual facts and evidence, then you will believe whatever story someone tells you.  Truthfully PED’s just seem to be one of those anomalies that gets lumped into the “Drugs are bad mmmmmkay” mentality of Joe Six Pack.

As much as all of the other reason have something to do with PED’s being illegal; I would argue that the myth of the Level Playing field is the most influential.  For some reason, especially in the United States people think that sports are somehow sacred, and that the records involved in these sports are the Holiest of Holies.

In some strange way I suppose it makes sense.  If sports fans didn't have statistics and records to compare to other fans there would be no more sports hate and pissing contests.  And then *gasp* people would have to accept that sports are just ENTERTAINMENT just like movies and music.  As an aside, think of how ridiculous it would be if people got into drunken fist fights at movie theaters over who’s favorite actor was better.  See what happens when things are put into context.

The truth is that people have been using drugs of all kinds for the entirety of human civilization.  It is only recently that we have deemed some of those drugs illegal.  The “War on Drugs” has been an epic failure, and has not served to curb people’s use of drugs.  It has only served to turn law abiding citizens into criminals.  The same can be said for PED’s.  Athletes are competitive by nature, and to get to the very elite level you are always looking for a way to make yourself better.  The legality of PED’s have turned World Record performances into *Asterisks, and left a black mark on the athletes name.  Guess what, Mark McGwire's homeruns STILL entertained you, and Lance Armstrong STILL raised HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!  So is the problem the athletes, or the laws?

Many fans are opposed to athletes using PED’s, but they also want to see records being broken and they celebrate bigger, stronger, faster without the slightest bit of acknowledgement to the irony of the situation.  Don’t for a second believe that fans give a shit about the players.  They want to be entertained, and when the players get a little long in the tooth, they will want them put out to pasture.  So why wouldn’t a professional athlete dabble in PED’s to extend his professional career a year or two?!  How many of those same fans wouldn’t do the EXACT SAME THING if they had a chance to earn a couple Million Dollars?!

Another thing you will hear is the claim that they are worried about the children, “what about the children” they cry.  By that same logic, shouldn’t they be trying to get drugs and alcohol out of the music industry?  Wouldn’t society be so much better for our children, and for our future if everyone was a teetotaler with regards to all drugs?!  And since it is obvious that you don't care about Pro Athletes once they get past their prime entertainment years, why exactly should the athletes care about being role models to YOUR CHILDREN?!

Here’s the thing, and you may not want to hear it, but if you honestly think that would be a good thing then be careful what you wish for.  You would have to put an *Asterisk next to the majority of the past 100 years.  There would be no more records broken in your lifetime, and the music industry would suck worse than it already does.  Again I am not sayin that athletes should cheat, they should not.  I am suggesting it is hypocrisy of the highest order to make PED's illegal (unless they are part of HRT..thus proving their medical benefit) while alcohol and tobacco are legal.

My point is NOT to advocate PED use.  My point is to advocate education.  If you think PED's (or any drug for that matter) should be illegal then you should have solid reasoning behind it.  If your only reason is FEAR of what might happen if they were legal, then really is that even an argument?!  If you are afraid of "what might happen", then shouldn't you be outraged at what IS happening with regards to alcohol and tobacco.  You seriously are stepping over the bodies of hundreds of thousands of people that die each year from alcohol and tobacco abuse to try to find one or two people that might possibly have died from steroid use.  This kind of inconsistent moral outrage, and the hypocrisy is staggering to try to comprehend.  I will close with the my question from earlier, and I welcome all different points of view…

Why are performance ENHANCING drugs illegal, while performance debilitating drugs such as alcohol and tobacco are legal?!

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