#also i wish we got years with the chapters instead of One mention of it being 1905 in the middle of the book and having to figure it out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

agendabymooner · 9 months

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𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 !!! 𝐥𝐧𝟒 — 𝐨𝐧𝐞

☼ WHO TF IS LANDO NORRIS?

chapter summary: honey-sue is… honey-sue. she knows who she idolizes (and have a crush on; mason mount), she knows that she’s looking forward to getting the hell out of the university after two years of her masters degree program, and she knows that she doesn’t care about the formula one teams that aren't mercedes amg - she also knows she cares about mick schumacher.

so when her fans (who were coincidentally fans of the sports as well) began to ask her things about her lack of interest, more people (mostly just a group of british youtubers and a certain f1 driver) immediately shifted their attention towards the socially awkward woman as she and her brother got invited to a party in monaco hosted by an f1 driver. newsflash: it wasn’t hosted by either lewis hamilton or george russell.

content warning: use of explicit language, chatfic + tweets, mentions of social anxiety

masterlist

HONEY-SIUUUUU

jideeee 😚😚

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

who dis?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

stfu you know this is your best girl stop capping

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no? idk who you are

HONEY-SIUUUUU

so if i were to say that i told simon about you using his towel to clean up the mess you made in his room then you wouldn’t be phased about it?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

naw fam i’m all jokes 😭 don’t tell simon

what’s up, honey??? can’t pay your rent this month?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

oh har har 😒 we all know who’s most likely got more money in her savings

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

and we also know who’s most likely to get someone anything she wants because that someone refuses to use her money on any stupid shit for once

HONEY-SIUUUUU

fuck off i’m being practical. at least i haven’t lost my money to crypto

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

ouch ok. i’m hurt 😒

HONEY-SIUUUUU

anyways. I GOT MY FINAL GRADES BACK 😭😭 I WANNA TELL U FIRST BC I FEEL LIKE YOUD BE MORE EXCITED FOR ME

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

ong??? holy shit, that’s fast. did you make it to the president’s list???

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ok but what do i get when i tell you the result? /jk

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

a pat on the back and congratulations? 🤣

HONEY-SIUUUUU

i’m expecting for something more than that but as long as you’re fulfilling your promises i’m solid

BUT ANYWAYS I GOT THE ONLY 4.0 AND PRESIDENT’S LIST 😭😭😭

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

HOLY SHIIIIT LEZGOOOOO

smart ting you are what the fuckkkkk

happy for you honey!!!!! 😮‍💨

lowk wish i’m there rn to celebrate that with you and the mandem 🙃 stupid boxing trainings

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ugh don’t even worry about it jj 😁😁 i was just v excited to share this to u

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

i’ll make it up to you i promise!!! i’m hella proud of u and ur ability to not even have a breakdown during those days ✊

i gtg tho 🙏 congrats again bro! lmk when ur graduation’s gonna be and what u want for this. i’ll ttyl

HONEY-SIUUUUU

forget about it jj— i was just joking when i said get me sumn

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

it’s a good thing i don’t listen to you whenever you tell me not to get you something huh?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

that’s just your guilt from calling me a sket on harry’s diss track.

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

haha just tell me what u want and i’ll get it sorted out as soon as possible

HAROLDINHO

oi honey

PLONKER

oi harold

HAROLDINHO

i’m at the mailbox rn

u got a package

PLONKER

gee do you ever wonder what the mailboxes are for? 🤔🤔

HAROLDINHO

i was going to bring it upstairs but i guess never mind 😒

a simple “oh really? thanks harry!” would suffice

PLONKER

just get up here and bring it 🤡 you could’ve just brought it up instead of texting me

what’s so special about it that you had to text me before you get up here n e ways??

HAROLDINHO

i dunno. something about it screams fancy.

did you get any bag by chance because this seems a bit too expensive

PLONKER

i don’t buy expensive stuff online???

can you come up so i can open it?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

JJ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!

LIKE YOURE NOT PULLING MY LEG? AND HARRY’S?!!!

IS THIS REALLY MONACO GP?!

JJ YOU BETTER RESPOND NOW OR IM GONNA BREAK IN YOUR HOUSE AND I KNOW WHERE YOU PUT THE KEYS TO YOUR LAMBO

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

sorry i was on the gym

don’t break into my house

and yes??? you said to get you something right?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

yeah but i was joking 😭😭

this is so cool

but this is expensive. do you take paypal?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no tf 🤣

as i said. i’d get you anything you want. but you didn’t tell me what you wanted so i just asked the boys

HONEY-SIUUUUU

you never should’ve listened to harry lmfao

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

lol it was vik and simon who recommended we get you and harry those tickets lololol

i was like “hmm idk what to get her” so they were like get you a trip to monaco or something. they specifically said get you a paddock pass for mercedes

so like go see your michael schumacher or that ken doll you showed me

HONEY-SIUUUUU

jj babes 🤣🙃 mick is in haas

and the fact that we’re taking your jet too 😭😭 you didn’t have to go all out on me

but seriously thank you thank you thank you

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

letting you know as well that will, filly and chunkz are coming along. they got passes from mclaren and all that. it'll be a full plane lol. so it won’t be as overwhelming for you and harry to go alone

HONEY-SIUUUUU

no way?!!!! MY FRIEND FILLYS COMING ?! 😭😭

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

yeah lol

so you have fun in monaco. everything’s been paid for by your personal bank account

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ugh my personal bank account is so fucking amazing

i could give ‘im a lil kiss on the mouth rn 😮‍💨😮‍💨

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

naw don’t do that i don’t think your brother would like that

lmk if there’s anything else you’d like i’ll see what i can do 👍😉

HONEY-SIUUUUU

a little kiss of appreciation on the mouth for you?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no 🤣🤣🤣

RIABISH

hey! i hope this isn’t so weird but you’re honey-sue right? wroetoshaw’s sister?

HONEYSUE

uh hi.

yes it’s me. it does say it on my username and bio. sorry if this is very rude.

RIABISH

no no! all good haha!

i just wanted to confirm! we got the information from will about you. i’ve known the sidemen and your brother but when he mentioned you were coming along to the race in monaco i had to look you up :)

i’m ria btw! i happened to be acquainted with him and filly bc we collab’d with them before. quadrant?

HONEYSUE

i’ve heard of you guys before because will spike a lot about you lots.

RIABISH

all good things i hope 😉

HONEYSUE

haha. yeah.

nice to meet you

RIABISH

likewise :))

we’ve been told of you because apparently you got lucky with ksi getting you free tickets and trip to monaco for the race

HONEYSUE

yeah idk.

i don’t watch formula one as much as i used to years ago. i don’t know much about who’s racing now and whatnot except from whatever’s happening with merc

RIABISH

oh… not at all?

not even mclaren?

HONEYSUE

no. this will be the first time i’ll be watching in a while.

RIABISH

you seem very nice!

listen, will and filly said you’re all flying in at the sunday before the race week begins. lando’s got will, filly and chunkz paddock passes and they’re all hanging around with us quadrant lots for the week.

would you and w2s be interested in coming with us? take you around monaco and get to know each other better since we all live in london and all :))) lando’s been wanting to meet harry for a while so him being in the monaco gp would def work out for all parties. lando will also be hosting a party in his flat in monaco. what do you think??

HONEYSUE

to be honest you’ve lost me at the first message. if you don’t mind— can i ask who lando is? i’m not like any sidemen people— i don’t watch f1 as much as i used to.

i’ve heard of his name before. but that’s because there are people on my twitter saying he’s made references about my videos and songs and whatnot.

i really don’t know who he is

RIABISH

ah right.

that’s alright ;)

lando drives for mclaren and he has the driver number 4. he’s actually one of the members of quadrant. he races and all that! that’s how will and the lots got their passes lol

HONEYSUE

oh okay.

about the invitation.

i think it’s ideal you ask my brother or shoot him a message in insta about it.

he’ll gladly answer

thank you for the offer. i’m sure he’d say yes. i have to go sadly. i’ll talk to you later!

RIABISH

okie. ttyl 👋

MINI HARRY

you absolute knobhead

you call me socially inept all the time yet you’re out here trying to get me to talk to people?!

WILLIAM²

wdym?

oh my god. i am so so sorry

i didn’t think ria would actually be sending and shooting a message to your way

MINI HARRY

you know what

i don’t even care

whatever it’s not like i’d be talking to them anyway.

WILLIAM²

if you’re talking about not being around them during the week nice try.

because harry just said he’d come along with us in monaco before the race. so the chances of you being friends with the quadrant lads are high.

i’m not sure if it’s just me but lando’s more than excited to meet you. harry just ok’d that you two would hang out with us.

MINI HARRY

oh my god. does anybody in my circle ever use their brain?!

#formula one fanfiction #formula one x oc #formula one imagine #formula one smau #f1 smau #f1 fanfic #lando norris x oc #lando norris imagine #lando norris smau #lando norris social media au #f1 fic #f1 imagine #formula one fic #lando norris fanfic #sidemen smau #sidemen au #sidemen imagine #🍯 honey honey! ln4 smau

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bibibbon · 22 days

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MHA chapter 422 rant

For a MCs rising chapter this chapter definitely didn't revolve around the MC in any major way.

Izuku intropsection where, I have never heard of her! This is a major issue I have with how hori writes Izuku. Almost every character at least gets their pov probably said and presented in their rising chapters except of izuku whose own rising chapter felt like a true let down and disappointment to me

Inko is back! I guess. I was way more interested to what was happening to inko when izuku had to go through that whole painful process of losing his quirks and an arm and then regaining it but I guess she stayed in a default status and just crying for her son which understandable but i was expecting more from her. Heck I think I expected too much i thought that hori might do something with her character, something angst worthy. Heck I am seeing the dfo theorist and if it ends up being true then that would be cool angst potential but a horrible canon event considering that hori has stretched this far too long.

Izuku midoriya rising just for izuku to be a side character in this chapter. Like i said this is a rising chapter and we get almost nothing personal from Izuku himself no intropsection no nothing. This chapter was simply full of other characters reactions and trying to help him to get up and do his job which is sad. I don't know but how come no one in the story sees just how unethical and bad the situation is like that's a 16 year old boy running to his death basically on live television. Also Iam enjoying the izu and all might parallels yet Iam worried that this might actually be Izuku's last fight. Also aren't we gonna talk about AFO is attacking izuku with OFA's own quirks I just find it cruel.

Still not a huge fan of everyone needing to get their moments like this. Yeah my opinion didn't change I just felt like the moments and reactions were given to characters like asui and shoji and then we had to continue glossing over them. It feels Hella fast paced and at this point IAM not sure if hori wants to end or prolong the series🤷‍♀️. Also I had to check but can we talk about MOMO AND TORU LIKE !!!!

Melissa and Rody my favourites and Iam bias.

I wish we had more of ochako, iida and izu. Again another moment falls flat in there seires because we lack build up and development. I liked ochakos comment and the parallels with iida holding izu's hand and still holding it again but all of this seems empty because the original nerdy tiro that we had at the beginning of the series was scrapped for the boring todoroki, bakugo and izuku one. Heck we could of had an izucrew/dekusquad and that would of helped with the build up of this unlike what's going on now .

Bakugo didn't need to be mentioned in this chapter but he is 😑. As far as anyone can tell Iam not a fan of bakugo and I don't think he needed to be mentioned like the guy got his arc and whatever so why don't we just focus on the current situation instead of thinking about how we wished he was here with Izuku and all like it felt pretty useless.

In conclusion, it was an average meh chapter but I got annoyed considering the title being midoriya rising for it to not have any proper focus on midoriya.

Like I absolutely loved some of the character moments even though they lacked build up and were short AF but this chapter DOESN'T deserve to be called midoriya's rising.

#mha critical #bnha critical #mha #hori is a bad writer #horikoshi critical #izuku deserves better #bhna critical #bnha #anti bakugou #anti bakugou katsuki #mha 422 #MHA 422

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drea-ms · 4 months

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UNSPOKEN WORDS AND THEIR LETTERS (i love you.)

げとうすぐる. Communication wasn't the best thing for you, but for the ones you love and cared for? You'd write and talk about for hours, maybe years

warnings. ANGST!!! erm suicide mentions. plot twist 😨. haibara isnt dead. shitty communication skills between sugu n yn. long. not proofread. inspired by somethin stupid by frank sinatra. grammar mistakes. a lot of stuff goes down. it will probably will next chapter too..... dunno what to add here.... also if you want listen to somethin stupid by frank sinatra!!!

back. masterlist. next.

You left him a voicemail that day, Words slurred, sore throat, the worst he's ever heard from you. Geto Suguru hates how too late it was for him and you.

Maybe this was the gods way of giving him karma.

He turns in his phone, goes to his voice mailbox.

"You have one message. To listen to this message press one. To delete this message press tw—"

"Um—Hey. I-I know now's not the best time to call you, you're probably busy and still mad at me. I don't understand why though. Why are you mad at me? Why is it that you have to find a way to blame me to make yourself feel better?" you paused, swallowing the pain that lies within your throat, he hates how he knows what you're feeling right now.

You sniffed and coughed before continuing, "Um—I'm sorry, for everything really. Now that I look back at everything, it was stupid of us to argue, I guess some people realize stuff really late, I really hope you listen to this message Sugu." Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why is he feeling tears coming from his eyes, why does that nickname harm him a lot? Why do you have this effect on him?

You laugh with tears falling from your eyes, and Suguru wishes he was there to wipe them away. "Even if you don't, even if you don't ever see this message, I'm just glad I recorded it" you smiled, has the sunset ever looked as beautiful as it did right now? Do you think Suguru is watching the same sunset as you? You continue, "Hey, You remember when Satoru, dragged us out in the rain? we got all wet and later got sick. I think we were in our second year. Shoko got mad at us after and had to take care of us, Do you—" you choke up on your words before steadily repeat yourself, "Do you think, that whenever I look tired one day, will you drag me out to jump in the rain again?" The voicemail finished. The automatic voice came up,

"To hear this message again, press three, to save it press four, to delet—" he presses four, now crying his eyes out in the middle of his room. Geto Suguru truly was an idiot. It was finally night time.

When the news of the beloved [lastname] [firstname] was pronounced dead was a shock to everyone. What truly was more shocking was the fact that she left letters to everyone, one each, two to Geto Suguru. Each letter contained the same thing, to have fun, to not blame themselves and to live their best life. Why was his so different than the others? Why did he get two instead of one?

He knows the reason why, he just want to hear it from you.

The first letter read;

My dearest, Suguru,

I'm not good with writing my own feelings down, so writing this is already hard as it is. But, when you do get this letter, it means that something happened to me, or maybe I just never gave it to you and hid it or threw it away. Only time will tell.

Anyways, back to the reason I'm writing this letter. I don't think I've had enough time to tell you about my feelings. In the short time I have met you, I think I've fallen in love with you. Not in a just a crush type of way, in a way were if one were to ask me to write something about you they would get paragraph after paragraph of how I feel about you. Did you know that I would sketch you whenever I'm bored? I would draw you and somehow put you in any of my paintings, you remind me of so many things, yet i couldn't find the perfect time to finish painting you.

I think I've always loved you, I'm not sure when those feelings started, but, I knew from the way i tried to make myself more likeable to you. I would always practice every to find some clever lines to make the meaning come true, though i would always mess it up. I wanted to know whether you liked me too. And I think on that night, the one where we snuck out and headed to the bridge was the right time, your cologne (the one that smelt like mint & citrus and your cigarette smell) filled my head, I thought the stars went red and the night turned bluer than usable. I was confident to tell you my feelings, but I thought I would spoil the moment by saying something stupid like "I love you."

maybe we our communication skills aren't the best,

maybe we'll find each other in another life.

I love you.

[nickname]

I love you.

she loves me.

she loved me.

Geto suguru remembers that night, the almost confession and how you looked. He thought you looked wonderful, a painting yet to be painted due to the amount time and work it would've taken. He also remembered that there was music playing, you've always like oldies, something about them maybe you like them. Maybe you're right, maybe the lack in communication skills was bad for the both of you.

So Suguru, ever so the stoic one, breaks in your room, with the extra key you gave him and sleeps in your bed for the first time in days.

"How long do you intend on hiding her, Yu?"A blonde, tall guy asked, "I, I don't know what you're taking about Kento-kun. Hiding who?"the shorter male asked, nervously looking anywhere but the blonde, Haibara Yu knew if word were to come out about you, he would be in trouble. "[Name]'s not dead is she? What—" he gets pulled into a empty classroom with the brunette, "Keep quiet, Kento. If word comes out and finds out to the higher ups that the child they been so afraid of is isn't dead, then everybody's gone." he said, whisper yelling at Kento. The blonde, surprised that his senior (the only one he respected really) was still alive, and the only person who was keeping her safe in hiding was the ever so sweet Haibara Yu. Now that Kento thinks about it, Yu is right, If word does come out and your alive and Yu has been hiding you, the higher up will have no chance but to execute the two of you.

"Who else knows of this?" is the only thing that comes out the blondes mouth, worried about who might know,

"Right now? Me and You. Just don't say anything and keeping pretending she's dead, it's better that way." the brunette says, the serious tone in his voice never fading.

The shorter haired boy walked away from the blonde, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Nanami Kento wasn't an idiot, he found the situation a bit werid, he kinda knew about you (you told him minor details.) and he knew who reckless you were, so you doing this was off. He exits the room, heading to his own.

"Do you know how many times I almost slipped the secret??? wayyy to many to count!" Yu says, pouting on his side of the phone call, it was midnight and everyone else was sleeping so he was trying to keep quiet.

"You know Yu, you really didn't have to do all of this." a female voice say, her voice deep and soft, smiling on her side of the call, sure she was in Seoul currently, but the time difference was the same, she knew how much the students needed sleep, she, herself was one too. "I feel greatful that you're helping me, Thank you."she said, looking out at the balcony, the night sky was shining brighter than before,

"It's no problem, [nickname]." he said, looking out by the window, a smile on his face, "You know, He's been acting werid since—" "I know, I think he read the letter, I don't know about the number, haven't gotten a call from him, maybe he didn't read it.""Maybe." he mumbled, a nervous smile on his face,

"Anyways, I have to go Yu. I'll talk to you when I can," you said, hanging up after saying your goodbyes.

Maybe, this was what you needed, Maybe not. Who cares. At least your dead.

VAL SPEAKS ?!!?? dawg this was supposed to be ready by last week and my tumblr was kicking me in the ASSSSS bro i couldn't move shit n all, but!!!! i finished it, and i'm almost done with the series!!!! can't wait to finish this and do midterms.... sorry it looks shit,,, was on a rush to finish this....

TAGS — @sad-darksoul

tags are open!!!

#🌙 — val writes #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #geto suguru #jjk geto #jjk suguru #geto x reader #getou suguru x reader #suguru x reader #geto angst #jjk angst

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mayariviolet · 2 months

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Beneath the Ground

⊹₊⋆ starring: jean kirstein x reader

summary: As Jean lays his wife to rest, his mind reels as he reflects on some of their moments together.

cw: allusions to terminal illness, swearing, grief, angst, mostly unedited.

a/n: I got this writing prompt from @the-end-society! I’m trying to ease back into my writing goals while also navigating the loss of someone really close to me.

wc: ~500

Beneath the ground, there sleeps my lover. I vividly remember throwing the first fist full of dirt on the ornate wooden coffin. I had hoped and prayed that with every piece of the earth chapter, which was mixed in with years of unsaid love and various repressed emotions, your decrepit hand would emerge.

That its steady thumping would toll loudly, halting the funeral fanfare just long enough to let my calloused hands dig you out of that hole.

Perhaps, if I closed my eyes hard enough, the weeping from people who didn’t have the luxury of knowing you would fade into obscurity. Instead of the sun beating down my sullen eyes and shaky hands as I wish you a final goodnight, I’m teleported back to that place.

Though you’ve probably long forgotten the place we called home, a shitty apartment on the fourth floor of a walk-up shielded us from our worries. Your laughter and desperate moans blessed my ears more than any award-winning song I’ve heard. Even our worst moments were some of my treasured memories because they were ours.

Cruelly and selfishly, I should be thankful that you’re gone. You’re no longer suffering and subject to the pain and obligations of completing mundane tasks. I wish we had more time.

Had I known that you’d be ripped so cruelly from my life, I would have held you a little longer, kissed you an innumerable amount, whatever I could. I knew the moment I grabbed that chocolate bar you mentioned in passing one time, in the hopes I could deliver it to you whenever we met again, I was irrevocably fucked.

You were always so brave. Even when the sickness overtook your body, and your stares became more vacant, you were still alive.

Now, I’m reduced to having to watch faultlessly curated videos on repeat of how you existed. It’s what you would have desired. To look back with fondness at your full cheeks, not cement the image of a cold corpse in my mind- instead, fixating on the hum and singing you’d only ever let me hear, not the sounds of ambulance sirens and the smell of sterile hospital air.

When I slowly open my eyes, I look through the gaps in the maple tree leaves. The place we called home fades away and is nothing more than an unfamiliar concept. Again, I’m surrounded by people giving me empty condolences. If you were here, you’d laugh at their egregious theatrics.

But when the last of the motorcade drive out of the cemetery, and I’m looking back at where you’ll sleep forever, I’m thankful for their brief entertainment. As I approach the weathered street, I feel overwhelming dread.

Rather than opening the creaking door and hearing you sweetly call out my name, there is nothing but the faint thumping of our upstairs neighbours. I’ll sleep on the couch just for a little while before moving onto our bed. Thankfully, it still smells like you.

Beneath the ground, there, my lover eternally sleeps, and I patiently await the day I will be tucked next to her.

a/n: Hopefully I fix my MacBook soon so I can get back to writing efficiently and without distractions. Love you all🤍

══════════════════

#mv.writing📝#jean kirstein x you #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein aot #attack on titan drabble #aot angst #attack on titan #attack on titan jean kirstein

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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Spoiler for Jujutsu Kaisen

I'm sorry it's so long and looks like a vent post. I'm sorry for those of you who had great luck in avoiding Jujutsu Kaisen until now. With that, let me give some context before the assholery.

Jujutsu Kaisen has a breakout character, Gojo, he is unique, flawed, well written, well loved, overpowered, and the most misunderstood character in this series. He recently met his end in the most infuriating way possible. It was an unceremonious death, off screened, after the biggest most violent battle in the series. Before he was brutally offed with just meaningless exposition detailing how he was killed and him uncharacteristically justifying the death in an afterlife scene that's written to appease a large part of the fandom (shippers- he's gay coded, no waifu here). His death completely destroyed his legacy and the future of this manga.

Problem: This is a popular series with disproportionate numbers of haters, casual fans, fans who get their information from tiktok or fanworks instead of the manga, fans who did a surface level reading of it, opinionated fans who didn't read after a certain point but discuss every new chapter like they're experts, people who hate it because they compared it to their favorite series and Jujutsu Kaisen didn't go that way, people who harass the readers and wish bodily harm on the author for not conforming to FANON, the works.

Gojo was MIA for almost 3 years which made fanon takeover the fandom, when he came back the author was accused of mischaracterization and bad writing because he didn't match 3 years of fanon. Reiterating, I mean fanon not headcanon, the headcanons here are almost all fanon based too and you will get nasty anons if you say you dislike FANON or praise CANON but I believe in people's right to headcanon.

My relationship with this: I've been a fan since 2019, this character of Gojo resonated with me like no one did in my 20+ years in fandom, he is my specialest blorbo, his relationship with his best friend has moved me etc. I'm autistic and this is my special interest as well. Needless to say depression has hit me like a freight train.

MY problem: My friend of 7 years who's currently deeply into yuri and danmei, who shared many fandoms with me, has been through the thick and thins with me, has decided to make me an enemy. When the chapter came out he chatted with me sent his condolences. Then he in his own social medias started talking about how he knew it was going to be a bad series, how he's glad he quit after struggling through 50 chapters, made all the jokes in the world about this death, discussed every little thing he hated and mocked this with his other weeb friends who are like the people I mentioned in the Problem section, validated all their complaints based on their reading of the FANON. He has had many discussions with me about this manga and very rarely did he express any of this negativity.

My assholery: I got frustrated, it was like he wanted me to see how much he could hurt me. I messaged him saying, "Hey what are you saying here, that's not how this character is written. The chapter is bad but this criticism is baseless and in bad faith" He laughed it off, "It's not that deep, this is fiction." I argued that's a shallow thing to say, he said it should have been like FANON since that makes more sense. I said that's conventional writing I thought we wanted different things than the same old nice characters in found family and such.

Then I said something about his favorites and hypocrisy, he said he's not so into it that he couldn't take criticism. I said that was a lie he's always writing essays about those characters. I also said criticize it for the right reasons damn it. He kept denying his own love for his fave so he could keep criticizing mine, because he at least had the sense to not fall for a shounen series. I asked if he was enjoying hurting me. He said are you for real, get a grip and stop justifying your behavior for fiction, they won't giving you cookies for defending them, if you can't bear to see negativity then feel free to mute or block. I snapped and said this is why no one likes casual fans, you can't keep your mouth shut about things you don't know. Have fun with being a two faced friend to everyone. Then I blocked him everywhere.

Some of my friends said I should have muted him long ago, I said this was inevitable if he was just going to validate everyone in vicinity, he had to pick a side. Others said I was right to tell him off. I regret some of the comments I made now.

AITA for the way I handled it? He is right, I could have muted him, I could have not spent my time doomscrolling and seeing all the bad takes he agreed with. I could have waited it out and not dropped an old friend over fiction. I could have done many things.

Please don't comment about touching grass, that's the least helpful thing anyone can say on blorbo the website. It's not a real advice we all know that. Therapy is also there for the depression and it will take years for me to get over the death, you don't need to remind me.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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aihoshiino · 4 months

Note

(139 spoilers!)

I know we all feel extremely disgusted by Airi and thus I started to consider her death. Taiki mentioned that it was a murder-suicide and Akane pinpointed that incident right before the twins were conceived... Which means that very close to HKAI got together (before or after), Hikaru was freed from Airi's control.

Putting my tinfoil hat on but I'm guessing the deaths had something to do with Hikaru. Either he did it or orchestrated it to to happen? (By revealing Airi's true colours to her husband.)

The more I think about Taiki the more I feel for him because dude lived his life thinking his legal father was an asshole & chose to bear his mother's name instead but then 15YL script came out. Just wish that Aqua at least had the decency to catch up with him before all this happened because obviously he knew when he agreed to do it.

So, the timeline for Airi's death is a little weird.

In chapter 68, Taiki says he was 'about five' when it happened which is obviously vague enough to leave some wriggle room for him to be a bit older if necessary.

We know Hikaru was eleven or so when Taiki was conceived and that he's a year younger than Ai, who is a third year middle schooler when she and Hikaru meet. This would place Ai at around fourteen years old and Hikaru at around thirteen as of ch139's movie scenes, meaning that Taiki is one or two years old here and we are two years out from Ai's pregnancy.

That gives us a span of anywhere between two to five years before the murder-suicide takes place.

Depending on exactly where the characters' ages all fall on the timeline, this does all seem to line up with the idea that the HKAI relationship and Airi's death happened in very close proximity to each other.

H O W E V E R. . . We have one major wrench thrown into this by chapter 95, where Saitou states that he clearly remembers when this incident happened and that the news broke while he was in a meeting with Ai about B-Komachi's Dome concert.

I'm not super sure how long it takes to fully plan a concert like that but typically, concerts at a venue like Tokyo Dome are announced six to nine months in advance. Being as generous as possible, let's say it takes another three to six months of planning and negotiations before it gets to the announcement stage. This means there was between a year and a year and a halfs' worth of time prior to Ai's death where this meeting would have taken place, which would place the incident as happening when she was around nineteen or eighteen. Either way, if Saitou is correct here, this means the incident happened well after the twins were born.

So what does this all mean? well what it means is that the oshi no ko timeline is absolutely penised and you shouldn't worry about it too hard.

More seriously, it means we can't really directly place when the incident happened just yet because the information surrounding it is all loosey-goosey. I do imagine it'll come up in the movie at some point purely on the basis of Airi's inclusion and the explicit depiction of her abuse of Hikaru but it's hard to say at this point exactly what came first - HKAI romance or Airi's death?

Regardless... I'm gonna get on my soapbox a little and say (and this is absolutely not aimed at you, anon, bc this is clearly a good faith question and I don't want you to feel bad lol) I am honestly not a huge fan of the idea of Hikaru being framed as culpable for Airi's death.

Like... at the end of the day, Hikaru was a teenage boy when this all happened. Uehara was an adult man. Even if I really stretch my suspension of disbelief and let myself believe that Hikaru somehow knew that Uehara was going to murder Airi as a result... sorry, but Uehara is still the one who did the actual murder! Even if Hikaru was the one to finally speak up about his abuse, it was Uehara who took it to the extreme that he did.

I also just don't think it really works, thematically speaking, with what Oshi no Ko has consistently said about the way children are exploited and abused by adults in the entertainment industry and how terrifyingly few safety nets there in place to either prevent it happening or help them recover in the aftermath. Given just how few punches the story is pulling thus far with its depiction and condemnation of the horror of Airi's actions and the sheer terror Hikaru shows when faced with her... it's really hard for me to imagine the story making him culpable for her death in a way we are supposed to condemn.

Not only that, but we don't even know if Hikaru was the one to give that info to Uehara. We have speculation on the topic from characters who are generally reliable but it's not something we can say we know without a shadow of a doubt. Not only that, but...

It's possible I'm reading too much into it, but the framing of this exchange seems to imply that - at least within 15YL's portrayal of events - Uehara may already suspect something is going on with Airi -> Hikaru.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #csa mention #hikaru kamiki

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kittytheartist · 1 year

Text

Tsukasa could still be in Hanako's boundary

I was think this over and I believe the Tsukasa we see around is actually a physical replica made by the red house, I'm not sure if this has been a theory before but it's driving me up the walls

so firstly I'd like to talk about a theory I have for a human Yorishiro. like Sumire she has to endure the same day over and over again, and I believe this to be because that is the day she meant the most to Hakubo.

so I'd believe that Tsukasa was also stuck in a loop of some kind or, stuck in a replication of their childhood house. my only proof of this is (1) we have not seen Hanako's boundary and instead he always says the bathroom his is sort of boundary, but every boundary has its own innermost reach. we have not seen Hanako's, and instead the entrance to hell of mirrors is through his own mirror, but I think it could be a replication of the red house. my only sort of proof is this

he's seen to be in this broken down piece of the red house, it's not just in this scene but we've gotten multiple arts of him here, he is partially the red house demon, but what if this is Hanako's boundary? Tsukasa is powerful on his own and I would not put it past him to tear down a section of the boundary for just himself, and especially sense this looks like the playroom and the playroom is where Tsukasa disappeared.

and with all the supernatural bugs around it could be completely plausible that it's because Hanako never visits his boundary. now why I think Tsukasa is a physical replica is because of his lack of solid body in the early chapters

he has the black smoke all around him, similar to how the red house only appears as a black emptiness, even as only a demon in Tsukasa's chest, speaking of my guess as to why he can still grant wishes I think it's because he's still partially the red house demon? it's been theorized that the demon builds its own strength and power over time, which is why he would have mistaked the last time he saw Hanako or Hanako went to his boundary twenty to ten years or so

and Sakura is also said to have helped him, and the paper crane is highlighted and we all know his kokujoudai take form in a crane, especially the one that teleports, similar to Hanako's hakujoudai one teleports people items ect, which could be how he contacted Sakura, the crane is also used to help keep track of people(well that's one of the uses we've seen most) so he could also be keeping tabs on her

and one of the other reasons I believe he's a replica and not the real yorishiro is because he's said it's harder to move around because, presumably, his body not being entirely together and he seemed very happy to have gotten out. not to mention Hanako being surprised to see Tsukasa, and if my theory is correct on the day he meant the most being the day the boundary revolves around this could also explain what he said here

and we all know Tsukasa has a huge master plan slowly piecing together through all the arcs we have played out in his drawings

and I think Tsukasa may be doing all of this, to get his original physical self, who is plotting inside the boundary out of there. I think this because of his actions recently, now it's a very good guess that it's for Sakura's wish, but I believe why he's trying to get Hanako and Nene to destroy all the Yorishiros so he can escape. Sakura has even said she's very confident that Nene will end up destroying the Yorishiros regardless, and this could be because of her pure faith in Tsukasa's master plan

and in regards of her wish, Tsukasa states that after they're destroyed she will be able to go outside, which is in fact her wish.

but this could be because once he's out of there he's more powerful, the red house is a very powerful demon, no Minamoto or any exorcist has been able to get rid of it. one of the things that really got me stuck was when Tsukasa was telling her how many Yorishiros have already been destroyed and he said Mitsuba/no.3 could, do whatever? well, let's hope we get some answers soon

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lithiumfae · 1 year

Text

Scarred And Half A Man, Chapter 2: Amends That Feel Like a Sentence.

word count: 4,7k

cw:smut, masturbation.

also forgot to mention but reader is a ravenclaw lol

The first night he joined her class he did not notice anything different in her demeanor.

She told the students Quirrell was not going to be joining her lessons again, and that Snape was to replace him. He expected the students to voice their discontent with the change and naturally he got the reactions he anticipated. They all groaned in unison, some with expressions more pained than others.

“Nothing will change, don’t fret. It is only a precaution in case an instance like the one in the girl’s bathroom were to happen again,” she walked to where the three Gryffindors were seated on the floor. “So you,” she crouched in front of them and gave them a smile. “Don’t have to play heroes again.”

“Father said it was a foolish thing to do,” said the blonde Slytherin.

“It was brave nonetheless, mister Malfoy,” she stood up and looked at where Severus was standing with his hands clasped behind his back. “Professor Snape will be here so everything stays calm in case something were to happen.”

“Father said Professor Snape is a great duelist! Why are we not learning spells so we can fight too!” Draco complained.

She started walking towards him. “I’m afraid that is education that goes far beyond my expertise,” The boy pouted. “But we can look at the stars, is that not so appealing, mister Malfoy?” It was clearly intended to be a joke and despite Draco’s usual demeanor he subtly smiled. “Yes? And like I said, Professor Snape is fully capable of defeating a troll, or a giant, or a dragon, perhaps even a werewolf,” the kids were now giggling, taking joy in her blatant teasing. “So strong that he is, your professor.”

Okay, so maybe their fight did not mean much to her if she was now complimenting him and calling him strong. If she had been mad it would have made this whole ordeal a lot more awkward than it needed to be. It seemed like it was a lucky day for him.

But years of dealing with liars and manipulators should have warned him about the possibility of her jokes just being a way to lift up the mood of the disappointed students, after all, he imagines having him present in the class that was supposed to be the most relaxing one could make any first-year feel anxious. The class went by incredibly fast, he did not even feel the need to sneak a little nap in between like he had thought of doing before walking up to the astronomy tower. He was so awake and paying such intense attention to her that he noticed whenever Harry Potter would look back to where he was standing against the wall. The kid was sitting right in front of her, Severus thinks the boy might have thought he was staring at him.

He truly did have his mother’s eyes like Dumbledore had mentioned. He chose to ignore the resemblance because even though his eyes were just like Lily’s, the rest of his appearance resembled James’. Instead he did what he knew how to do best, ignore the big thing that was plaguing his mind and he chose to torture himself with a smaller issue.

This being the way her eyes avoided his.

Prior to their argument, whenever they were in the same room she would always try to look him in the eye. Without lying, this spooked him. Because she did it even when they were not talking to each other, she would be having a conversation with Sprout but looking at him all the way across the room. She reminded him of an owl, with the big intimidating eyes. Not intimidating because they were threatening, but because they looked full of wonder, almost as if she was waiting to ask you a question you did not wish to answer.

She made a point to acknowledge his presence.

Now this was not the case.

After class ended and prefects had taken the students back to their dormitories and they were left alone. Immediately she went to put all her books and her other supplies back into her leather knapsack. Her head was down and her hair was covering half her face. Severus waited for her at the entrance so they could walk down together, his day would end when they were all in their respective chambers.

She was taking her sweet time while also managing to look tense at the same time so he walked a little closer to her desk.

He cleared his throat before speaking. “You see, all went well,” she cleared her throat back, making him think she was about to reply but no words left her mouth so he chose to talk again. “My help was not need–“

“You called me a whore,” she interrupted him.

He was left gagging. “I did not use such a word.”

“You might as well have. For you to imply I enjoy spending time alone in Professor Quirrell’s office it can only mean you think of me in that way,” when she looked up at him her eyes were filled with unshed tears once again, reminiscing of their last interaction.

“And for that I apologize, it was never my intention.”

“Your words sound rehearsed and not sincere at all,” she said in a tearful voice.

Severus furrowed his eyebrows, she was not being reasonable at all. It was very often he said hurtful things to people yet they rarely cried, twice at that. “I truly am sorry, Professor. I got carried away,” he paused for a second. “But I must say I doubt it was the first time a man talked to you like that, so sorry again if what I said hurt you. It was remarkably unprofessional on my part.”

“What do you mean by that?” She asked.

“I’m trying to explain to you why at first I did not think an apology was needed. I was wrong.”

She scoffed before wiping her eyes with one of her knuckles. “You are a scary man Severus you can hardly blame me for reacting like this,” she flipped her hair off her shoulder before fixing her knapsack strap. “Oh and I’ll have you know that being called a whore does not get easier the more it happens. I expected you to be more sensible, it seems I was mistaken for thinking you were different than most.”

Dumbfounded by the unexpected continuation of the conversation they had prior to this, Severus simply stood in place with his mouth slightly open as she started walking towards the big door. “I– what–,” he hurried to trail after her. “I am different than most,” he said, sounding like a teenager desperate to be seen as unique. “I am not like those other men you’ve met, I can assure you it won’t happen again.”

She stopped walking and turned to him. “And what kind of man are you, Severus?”

“Well I… do not make habit of calling women names, and I am professional enough to avoid having conflicts with my coworkers,” He was not exactly sure why he was stuttering trying to defend his character. “I must ask you to understand me, the women around me are nothing like you. They wouldn’t have asked for someone to supervise their classes.”

“And now you’re saying I’m not as good as the other professors! You–” she sniffed once. “Well I’m so incredibly sorry for being scared of a bloody troll attacking me while I’m looking at the stars!” She adjusted the strap of her bag again and shook her head before continuing. “I was so relieved Quirrell was replaced with you because you were the one man I trusted not to make it weird once we were left alone in the same room. But coming to think of it, maybe Professor Quirrell and his weird habit of poking me with his quill would have been better than to have you be so hostile to me.”

“I’m not hostile.”

“Are you not? Then tell me what else could I call your knack for glaring at me at any given chance, or how you laugh to yourself whenever I say something not at all amusing.”

If he was quite honest he was not expecting her to be this confrontational. “Then I ask you, what kind of man did you think I was?”

“I thought you quiet, as if your mind were filled with loud thoughts. I found you fascinating.”

“With all due respect, I am not to blame if my true self broke whatever fantasy you had of me,” The entire conversation threatened to turn his brain inside out, it was harrowing for a reason he could not pinpoint. “Like I said last time I advise you to avoid paying attention to me, that way your little head won’t be deceived by baseless assumptions.”

“Very well!”

“Very well,” he repeated menacingly. “But I want you to remember I did try to apologize.”

“If you call that an apology then I feel bad for the other women in your life. Do you use female tears to brew your potions?”

Vixen.

“Whatever I choose to do with other women is nothing you should worry about… well, you do think about me often enough that I’m sure your mind will provide vivid imaginations to quiet your questions. If you’ll excuse me,” he spat before turning around and walking, almost flying, to his chambers.

Right before he turned around a corner she yelled, “I rather spend a week with Filch and his bloody cat than to breathe near you ever again!”

So much for an apology, he thought.

By the time he got to his room his robes were making his skin itch so he practically tore them off of him. He thought, “that’s what I get for trying to apologize,” Dumbledore‘s disapproving expression last time they had talked was what finally pushed him to step on the twig. He supposes you cannot be a worthy leader if your face alone is not capable of making people do things, in this opportunity it was to make Severus feel guilty.

He went to lay down on his bed, he felt like he was about to have a heart attack.

How pathetic it was of him to be so short of breath because for once he had not won an argument. His skin felt itchy, and he also felt hot all over. For a moment he thought he was actually dying or something of the sort, his legs felt weak, his hands numb.

However, even if he kept his interactions with the female gender as scarce as he could, he was not clueless. He knew very well that what he was feeling in that very moment had little to do with anger and annoyance.

He knew his body was betraying him. There was no other explanation as to why he felt the exact same way he remembered feeling back when he was a foolish teenager who got excited after that older Hufflepuff girl stroked his hair once. He was being utterly pathetic.

He was aware his brain was his best asset. The one thing he focused on training. He had never regretted not paying more attention to his body as he did at that moment, for it was acting on its own accord. Leave it to his body to feel aroused after having an argument with the one attractive woman he knew.

Was it adrenaline? Because he had read about how after surviving dangerous situations, some peoples circulatory systems acted up out of nowhere. After all she could be quite scary when the smile had been wiped off her face.

It would have been so much easier if her face were not so alluring. Because Severus was anything but blind.

His dexterity had more to do with his immunity to people's tricks, but he would be foolish to deprive himself of appreciating someone’s beauty. Honestly, that was all there was to her. He thought of her as a pretty shell lacking of a pearl on the inside.

He had long given up on denying her appeal, although he had never expected himself to take after the silly man that trailed after her because of her appearance. He was better than them in every aspect.

But clearly enough, even if his intelligence excelled those of the most noble men, he was only a man at the end of the day.

She was nothing like those aristocratic wives he got to see a couple times a year, no, to him she was a childish woman who seemed to have been raised by parents made out of cotton. With the way she so foolishly treated everyone as if they were dear to her. He supposes her personality could also be seen reflected on her overall appearance, she looked naïve. Why were her cheeks permanently rosey? She looked agitated all day long. She was not overly slim and her limbs were not long and elegant like those of McGonagall for example. She did not possess the finesse Narcissa Malfoy did.

The more he thought about her the more he realized she left a lot to desire if she wished to be called a woman.

But sincerely, who was he trying to fool when even though he barely saw her as a woman, he was still laying on his bed with a prominent erection in his pants. It was as if he was trying to convince an audience when he was the only one in that room. The shame was so great he battled his thoughts for a couple minutes.

He was aroused, that much was clear.

Carnal needs were not something he was much to acquainted with, but even someone like him knew a night of rest would not come easily if he chose to ignore the problem. It was safe to say that he was very much a novice of masturbation. To him it always felt degrading, but when the time came he knew he had to get on with it.

With his cheeks burning as if he were standing right above a boiling cauldron, he sat up and moved to the edge of his bed. Removing all his clothes made it all seem more real than his brain would like it to be, so he chose to pull down his trousers along with his undergarments. It had been so long since he succumbed to the last resort that masturbation was, that he hesitated a few seconds before he placed his hand around his penis. At first his hand felt like that of a stranger, because of course, it was now that his brain decided to try to detach itself from the situation. But it was far too late.

Shaking his head as if to clear it up, he squeezed. His loud moan echoing in the room and going back to his ears, this made him feel humiliated. But he had to keep going. Noticing the way the touch of his hand against his skin was too dry, he took his hand near his mouth and licked his palm. Quickly returning to what it was doing prior. His thin bony fingers making a sound that was nothing but torture to Severus’ ears, what he was doing at that moment was a confirmation about what she had told him.

He was in fact, like those other men. Because here he was, masturbating after having a conversation with her. And of course, how could he not make up an image of her in his brain while he was working himself up.

In the hazy fantasy that bedeviled his mind, she had a wild look on her face. Her eyebrows furrowed the same way they had been when they were fighting, her cheeks even more cherry than usual. All in all she painted a perfect picture of what one would describe as anger and frustration. Because oh, his weak state of mind at the moment let him entertain the idea of finding her attractive when she looked displeased by him. There was something so inherently arousing about a normally sweet woman that went feral over a stupid man.

He never thought himself to be someone with a liking for degradation of any sort, that had not changed now even though his hand was quickly going up and back down on his cock. But Merlin, imagining her being angry at him more often sure did wonders for his otherwise dead libido.

By now, the hand he was not using was supporting his body as it leaned back a little, his head thrown back in place. He opened his legs wider because he felt like he was about to fall to the ground even though he was sitting on his bed. Being inexperienced when it came to self pleasure, he did not know what he wanted. He was not sure if he wanted it fast and to hurt a little, or if he wanted to drag it out. So he tried both.

He started by borderline abusing his cock, he went up and down and in a matter of seconds his skin turned a little red due to the friction.

“Fuck,” he whimpered pathetically. His voice going an octave higher, making him sound like a whiny and desperate man. Nothing like the way he presented himself.

When the pleasure started to gloss his eyes over he let himself indulge in his fantasies. He promised himself it would be the last time he let that happen.

He noticed the way her hands were always manicured. It would be a sight to have one of them wrapped around him. She would not be talkative, he thought she was the type to get straight to it. The only voice filling up the room would be his.

“That okay?” She would ask.

At that mental image he moaned even louder. He squeezed the base of his cock because he felt on edge, the pain made him come back to reality. That reality being himself sitting on his bed, with his clothes all pulled in funny ways so he could have access to his penis, his knees almost touching because of how good he was feeling. His entire body curled into itself.

He thought retaking the position he was in before that was the smartest decision. So he went back to supporting his weight on one of his arms, his neck relaxing again.

His wet hand started stroking himself again. The squelching noise being amplified by the fact that his eyes were closed, giving his ears more to focus on. By this point he felt like his body did not know how to react to all the sensations he was not used to. The utter ignorance made him end up tightening his fist around the head and thrust his hips upwards. And good Merlin, did that do it for him.

He went at it for a few very short minutes before he was involuntary standing up, still fucking his fist.

He thought he must have looked like a madman, all alone in his room, groaning like a rabid dog and fucking his hand. Doing all that while standing on his legs and looking at the ceiling.

It was not long before he came all over the carpet at the end of his bed.

The shame being entirely too much for him so he decided to ignore the stain for now, getting rid of it would be a task for the Severus of tomorrow.

He did not have more than a few months to feel bad about what he did. And yes, months is a short time for Severus, considering the fact he was the type to beat himself up for years. That being said, his wallowing was cut short abruptly because of Harry Potter.

Yes.

If Severus was the type to drown in self pity, Harry Potter was the type to have a teacher try to kill him even though he was barely eleven.

Sometimes he wondered if having the Harry Potter at Hogwarts was putting the rest of the students in danger. Never in the history of the school had a teacher carried a dark wizard on the back of his head. It was mental.

The fidgety man managed to fool almost everyone, including the Gryffindor trio who would go out of their way to make students shut their mouths whenever Quirrell stuttered and laughter filled the classroom. But a man experienced with deception such as Severus could not be outwitted. Bloody Quirrell had been scheming the entire time just as Severus had suspected. His injured leg could not have been enough proof to tell the rest of the school staff but it had been enough for Dumbledore to believe him. So to say the revelation came as a surprise to everyone would have been a lie.

Harry Potter had survived yet again thanks to Lily’s sacrifice. As it seemed the Dark Lord stood no chance against the love of a mother. And because Severus was a selfish man, he found a way to make it about himself. He thought Lily always accomplished her task of reminding him just how deep of a mark she had left in him, even after all these years. Previous to this ordeal the only woman in his mine was the other professor. He was occupied avoiding her while also thinking about her face all the hours he spent awake. She was honestly poisoning him. But now looking at Harry’s eyes all he could think about was the obsolete possibility of him ever moving on. After all, Lily's child depended on him now. Those big bright eyes looking up at him as he stood next to the burnt body of his professor made him feel guilty for ever thinking about other women.

Women were a distraction. He supposes everything is a distraction when the life of a child depends on you entirely, because to him Dumbledore’s words were nothing but null promises to make himself sound like a martyr. At the end of the day Harry Potter was going to be his responsibility for the next six years

After all was done Dumbledore took Harry and his friends to his office where McGonagall was already waiting, next to her was sitting the very woman tormenting his thoughts. The small Weasley child started wailing as soon as the woman gave him a little sad smile, apparently her face alone acted as some sort of switch for tears as the other two brats threatened to drown everyone in the room with the tears rolling down their cheeks. A sea of tears, quite literally. The student next to his friends was putting on a tough guy façade, he didn’t join the hug she was offering. It was honestly a sorry sight, it was enough to move Severus and his ice cold heart so he turned around as if it was also his responsibility to avoid hurting Harry Potter’s ego.

So that is how he chose to spend the next hour or so, filling a space in the room with the other teachers who were also not the best at comforting scared children. Ronald Weasley cried until his eyes resembled potatoes.

“Oh but Harry was so brave, wasn’t he?” She said, letting the question hang in the air as she had not asked that to anyone in particular. She only meant to comfort the boy in a way that did not require physical contact.

Harry simply nodded, sniffing before replying. “I did not give him the stone,” he said.

“So I heard Harry. What a brave boy you are.” Ronald’s yawn interrupted her before she could continue.

Dumbledore clasped his hands as he moved to stand up, “ I believe it is time you three go to the dormitories, Merlin knows Harry needs it.”

“I’m quite alright sir,” he said eyeing his sleepy friend that had yet to let go of the other professor.

She shook her head and gently touched the ginger boy’s head. “It’s for the best you all go,” she looked at Severus. “Could you walk them to their common room?”

Dumbfounded by her voice being directed at him, all he did was nod. “Let us go then, children.”

“Ah! C-could you go with us, Miss?” Granger nervous voice reach his ears. “It’s, umm… Girl stuff…” she trailed. It was so clearly a lie to everyone in the office but they all pretended to be none the wiser

The children feared him.

“Oh yes. I’ll go too so we can talk.”

They made their way to the Dormitories remarkably fast. The Weasley boy trailing after Harry and flinching at any shadow his eyes saw, while Harry and Granger walked close to the woman.

When they reached the Gryffindor door Harry turned around before going in and looked at her. “Were you a Gryffindor too?” His big light eyes looked at her in wonder.

“No, I’m a Ravenclaw. I’m all brains no bravery I’m afraid, nothing like you three.” The fourth of them giggled. “So thank you Harry, thank you for keeping us safe.”

The boy let out a silly giggle that served to remind Severus just how young he truly was, he found him quite annoying most days so it was easy for him to forget Harry Potter was an eleven year old. “Always Miss.”

“Now, inside you go come on,” she ushered them in. She turned to look at Granger and cocked her head. “Or did you still want to talk Hermione?”

“No. I must have forgotten.” She said with a tinkle in her brown eyes, the same thing Severus could see in the woman’s eyes. They seemed to be sharing a joke only the two of them could understand.

“Alright then, have a good night.”

The trio voiced their goodbyes and disappeared. As soon as they were out of their sight, she looked at him and said, “How do you do it?”

“Do what exactly?”

“Lie to them, I mean,” quickly realizing her words had come off as an attack, she rushed to say, “I meant, how do you lie to Harry Potter. How do you make him feel safe when you know he’s clearly not.”

“Well I’m not sure yet, this is the first Harry Potter I meet.” She shook her head while looking at the floor to hide the smile his lame attempt at a joke had caused.

She sighed. “It’s not fair, this poor child has so much coming his way. He’s just a boy.”

Severus simply made a noise in agreement. “In this world most situations are not fair.”

“I suppose you’re right,” she lifted her hand to fix the hair framing her face. Her skin looked dull, unlike her every day self. He though that if she took everything that happened to students so serious she was bound to burn out soon enough. “How have you been Severus, it feels like I only ever see the back of your head.”

“Must I remind you we see each other every Wednesday.”

“But even then we don’t talk, do we?”

Was she really attempting to rekindle ON they spent months acting like the other one did not exist. How dare she try to, in her own way, apologize when he was the one that made her cry. “Don’t go there.”

“I just feel like engaging in petty fights is overkill when the school could take one of us out any day.”

“Not very optimistic are you?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

She looked at him through her curled lashes for a few seconds too long before reaching out with her hand to pat him on the head as if he was a bloody dog in need of affection. She smiled before opening her mouth again, “We must be at least in good terms in case something bad happens. I would not enjoy asking for help if we are on that terms, you’ll find I’d rather die than ask for saving if I don’t like someone.”

“Very well then.”

And because Severus was not used to blushing he made a quick exit to go back to his chambers so he could drink a feel-well potion as he was clearly coming down with something given the heat on his face.

She had really petted him at two in the morning.

#pro snape #severus snape #snape #severus snape smut #severus snape fic #severus snape x reader #severus snape x you #scarred and half a man

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 6 months

Text

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 24: May II

{{ Chapter 23: April I | Chapter 25: June III }} Chapter Directory

here's the official art that inspired the flowers uwu

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✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ hurt/comfort, explicit mentions of grief, levi being comforting in his levi way, happy ending tho :3 ✧ word count ➼ ~5.7k

Graduation was exciting, but also overwhelming. Given the shitshow that was your undergrad experience, you were more than ready to finally receive that piece of paper that indicated that you had earned your degree—but the ceremony itself was more burdensome than it was enjoyable. The ceremony was boring, the weather was too warm, you got little to no sleep the previous night due to the anticipation, and you wore a horrifically uncomfortable dress, which was only exacerbated by the heat and the cheap graduation gown.

This wasn’t a sentiment that was isolated to you, but most of your friends were able to get through it by being motivated about going out later in the evening. While it sounded exciting to you at first, the thought of socializing and masking for literally the entire day sounded more exhausting than if you had to completely repeat the semester. You respectfully declined, and suggested grabbing brunch in the morning instead if your friends were really adamant on spending time with you.

You were more than exhausted by the time you got home. You had been sitting out in the sun for hours and although you were proud of yourself for finally graduating, part of you wished that you had opted out of walking. You immediately disappeared into your room, throwing off that annoyingly uncomfortable dress and changing into your oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts. As soon as you were in more comfortable clothing, you collapsed onto the couch, immediately sticking your head in Levi’s lap, not caring that the paper that he was reading was technically being held right over your face.

“Bit eager, aren’t we?” he mumbled as he raised the packet and looked down at you.

You scrunched up your nose at his comment and lightly smacked his shoulder in retaliation.

“Figured you’d be going out,” he noted, going back to reading his paper, although he held it off to the side so that he could see you in front of him.

You sighed, turning your gaze from him and up to the ceiling.

“They wanted to go bar-hopping,” you grumbled, clearly annoyed at the conversation you had with your friends earlier. “Needless to say, I wasn’t interested. They were being a pain in the ass and trying to pressure me into going. Ruined my mood.”

You looked back over to Levi and saw the slightest hint of an upward turn at the edge of his lips, in addition to an amused look in his eyes as he glanced down at you.

“What?” you asked in a somewhat defensive tone.

“Nothing,” he said, looking back over to his paper. “Just glad you’re standing up for yourself now.”

You immediately sat up, raising your eyebrow at him.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Levi sighed and set his papers down on the other end of the couch.

“It means that you used to let people push you around to no end,” he mentioned, looking directly into your eyes. “Remember that dick that ran into you when you were picking up the pastries for the very first time?”

You looked down at your lap, recalling that day nearly a year and a half ago. Someone had run into you and then started publicly scolding you as if you were the one that was in the wrong. At the time, you just kept your head down and left. If that happened today, you’d probably happily tell him to fuck off. Levi had a point.

Pouting, you laid back down onto his lap, trying to ignore the unamused look he was shooting your way.

“Am I wrong?”

It took you a little bit to respond.

“...No,” you eventually grumbled reluctantly, frowning after he didn’t respond for a few seconds. “What?”

“Quit being dramatic,” he scolded, flicking your forehead immediately afterwards. “It’s a good thing.”

You scrunched up your nose at him, let out a quiet ‘hmph’, and then rolled over so that you were facing away from him.

Levi simply sighed and picked up his paper again to continue reading, although he was a bit more distractible now that you were lying in his lap.

You shuffled backwards to lean into him a bit more, the pout staying persistent on your face until you noticed a familiar piece of mail on the dining room table. You reached out for it, sitting up once you started reading it.

“What’s this?”

He looked up at you for a split second before looking back down at his paper.

“Lease expires in two weeks,” he mumbled. The piece of mail was a renewal notice. You still had a few days before it was due. “Didn’t want to fill it out yet.”

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why not?”

“Wasn’t sure what you were doing after graduation.”

“...Oh,” you said quietly, looking down as a bashful smile crept onto your face once you realized that he had been waiting for you to make a choice before he signed anything.

“Looking for another roommate sounded like a pain in the ass,” he continued, “so wanted to wait and see what you were going to do first.”

In reality, the last thing that Levi wanted was to have you move out, but he also didn’t want to force your hand if you really did want to move out and pursue post-grad opportunities.

“Well,” you started, pausing a bit to think about what your plans actually were. You hadn’t really thought about it. Your entire goal was just to graduate. Your endeavors after graduation were never at the forefront of your mind.

“I was actually thinking of sticking around to flesh out my book,” you eventually said. It was true. That was probably the most realistic choice for you. There wasn’t anything else you could think of that you actually wanted to do.

“Guess I’m stuck with you for another year then,” Levi grumbled, although the slight upwards tug on the edge of his lips gave away his true thoughts.

“Don’t be a grump,” you protested, sitting up and taking the papers out of his hands, immediately eliciting a tut of irritation out of him as you set them down on the coffee table. You immediately placed your hands on his shoulders and threw one leg around him so that you were straddling at him as you looked at him straight in the eye.

“Unless you want me to move out,” you said with a sigh of feigned frustration, sticking out your bottom lip into a pout. “I can start looking for other places. I don’t have to stay in this boring little town full of those ‘annoying undergrads’.”

He raised his eyebrow as you poked fun at his propensity for dismissing any undergrad that dared to cross his path.

“You’ve barely moved on from being an annoying undergrad,” he muttered with a frown. “Now you’re just annoying.”

“Well, then I’ll annoyingly look for another apartment, I guess,” you grumbled as you rolled your eyes.

You let out a squeak of surprise as you felt his grip tighten on your hips, before pushing you both off to the side, effectively flipping you over so that he was now the one on top of you.

“Don’t you dare, you little shit,” he scolded as his voice dropped in pitch, a dark look entering his eyes as he saw your shit-eating grin steadily grow on your face.

He was only able to hold his scowl for a few seconds before it broke and he leaned forward to press his lips against yours, although part of you thought the kiss was primarily to stop you from forming a sarcastic response.

The kiss was preferred anyway, so you weren’t in a rush to form that response, electing to bring your hands up to his cheeks and hold his face as you kissed him back, moving your lips gently against his, the corners of your lips turning up into a smile as you fell into his embrace.

The feeling of him pressed against you always felt electrifying regardless, but his touch was so much more euphoric now that the stress of school was off your plate and you were actually able to relax without any immediate worries. It allowed you to focus on him and only him.

Despite the shitshow that led up to your graduation, now that you were here, life was generally good.

~~~~~

Levi made good on his promise to visit Isabel and Farlan once a year. He had taken them to the local amusement park last year, but he chose to drive home himself this time, although there was a more personal reason attached to it as well: visiting his mother’s grave.

Being in that little break between graduating from school and beginning any type of full-time job, you decided to tag along. Plus, having been in an official relationship with Levi for a little over six months at this point meant that you were itching to meet the two people that he could legitimately call his found family.

You looked out the window as Levi drove through his hometown. He clearly knew it well and while it wasn’t exactly “well off”, you at least saw that it had a sense of community, which generally meant more than anything else when it came to the state of the neighborhood.

Levi didn’t really get to experience that community as a kid. He got taken in by his uncle after his mother died and got cut off from it throughout the rest of his childhood. It wasn’t until meeting Farlan that he was finally able to experience it, although he was already an adult by that point in time.

Part of you expected them to be as uptight as Levi seemed when you first met him, but that wasn’t the case at all. Farlan was chill, charismatic, and impressionable. Isabel had a shit-eating grin that rivaled your own and seemed legitimately fascinated over the recent developments in Levi’s life, even if they seemed insignificant to him.

You and Farlan immediately hit it off and you were somewhat fascinated that someone as friendly as him got involved with Levi, whose personality was somewhat abrasive towards people that didn’t know him. You knew that you were certainly put off by his personality when you first moved in.

Levi continuously shot unamused looks in your direction as you chatted with Farlan, with you both somewhat making fun of him, although it was all regarding things that both of you mutually found endearing about him—his need for cleanliness that was taken to a whole other level, but translated to him making things as least chaotic as he could; his harsh commentary in addition to his inability to tolerate people, which translated to him being much more authentic around the people he did want to spend time with; and of course, his short stature, which he honestly couldn’t really be bothered to truly care about.

The four of you spent the morning and early afternoon together, ending your day at the local park. It was conveniently on the way back to Farlan’s apartment, so your entire group sat around and chatted for a bit before heading your separate ways.

You were confused when you didn’t head towards Levi’s car, instead being brought in the opposite direction. You didn’t mind. You assumed that it was Levi’s way of wanting to spend alone time with you—you did enjoy your romantic walks, after all.

You had your arm looped around Levi’s, hugging his arm as the two of you walked down the street. You figured that he just wanted to roam around his hometown for a bit until you saw that he seemed to be directly headed towards a flower shop. Instead of walking past it, he made his way inside.

“Flowers?” you asked, unlinking your arm from his so that you could fit through the narrow doorway.

“Mother’s Day,” he whispered back towards you, looking at you over his shoulder before heading towards the back, seeming to know exactly what he wanted to grab.

“Oh…” you responded quietly, trailing off, immediately understanding why he was here.

You knew what this day must have meant to him, and you didn’t question it. It brought up confusing emotions within you as well. You hadn’t even really had the chance to think about how Mother’s and Father’s Day would hit differently once your parents were gone. You had been too busy drowning in your own grief to even register whenever the holiday had arrived.

Levi knew exactly what flowers he wanted to pick out, making a bundle of yellow poppies, red carnations, and pink gladioli. It was clear that he had done this before.

You waited as he formed his bouquet, your eyes scanning the flowers on display, although it wasn’t exactly the presentation of the flowers that was on your mind.

You hadn’t gotten a chance to memorialize your parents. Sure, it had been a few years, but your aunt wasn’t particularly good at handling or communicating over these types of things and you had spent all your energy trying to suppress your grief to properly mourn them. It brought up complicated feelings within you.

You were silent as you walked with Levi to the local cemetery. Although your head was a swirl of mixed thoughts and feelings, you kept silent, knowing that right now was an important time for Levi to process. That was the singular thought you held onto when your thoughts wanted to spiral down into a shitshow of chaotic feelings.

Once you got to the tombstone, you noted that it was significantly more well maintained than the other ones were. This didn’t come as a surprise, knowing Levi, and you watched as he brushed off some of the debris that had gathered over the tombstone before replacing the former dead flowers with the new ones he had just bought. You read the engravement as he stood back up, seeing that his mom did indeed pass quite a while ago, and that Levi would’ve been just a small child when she did.

“She got sick a lot,” he muttered.

You looked over at him, your eyes widening a bit. Levi wasn’t one to really directly talk about these things, and you appreciated the fact that he was able to be vulnerable around you, especially in regards to this topic. He had mentioned this a few months ago during his birthday, but the pain and resentment in his voice was just as severe.

“It was just us, so she worked more,” he continued with a sigh. “A lot more.”

He shuffled around, placing his hands in his pockets in the way that he usually did when he felt either awkward or uncomfortable.

“I was too little to really help out,” he mumbled as he looked back down at her tombstone. “It wasn’t until later on that I realized that’s why she was always sick.”

He paused, staying silent for a few seconds, and you struggled to read his expression.

“Never appreciated that enough as a kid.”

You noticed a brief hint of resentment enter his eyes as he gazed over to the grave next to his mother’s. It was also clean compared to the others in the cemetery, but not nearly as tidy as his mother’s was. Upon seeing the name carved onto the other tombstone, you were able to deduce that it belonged to his uncle that had taken him in after his mother passed—Kuchel and Kenny Ackerman, Levi’s mother and uncle, and although they were both blood relatives that raised him as a kid, he had vastly different experiences with each of them, which was reflected in the maintenance of their tombstones, with Kuchel’s being clean and tidy as if it was brand new, and Kenny’s being a bit less well kept, although it was clear that at least some effort was still being put into maintaining it.

“...You must miss her,” you eventually said. “It’s been so long.”

After a while, he took a deep breath.

“Yeah.”

You stood in silence for a while longer, allowing him to process the emotions that must have been coming up as he stood in front of his mother’s grave. Your gaze fell on the tombstone again, and your mind wandered to the case of your own parent’s death.

You tried to imagine being able to do some type of memorialization to get closure for your parents, and your breath got caught in your throat when you realized that you couldn’t really. They weren’t able to be properly buried and therefore couldn’t have a proper funeral. The fact that even that basic act was robbed of them—and your ability to find closure robbed from you—made a pit in your stomach grow that threatened to swallow you whole.

You were so caught up in your own thoughts that you didn’t even notice when Levi started to walk away. All of your memories with your parents that you had repressed throughout the past few years came flooding back. You remembered having a generally happy childhood, with your parents always being able to comfort you when you were upset and provided you with the support that you needed, sheltering you from the horrors that the real world came with. You had mixed feelings about the sheltering, knowing that it made your adjustment period significantly more difficult, but it provided you a sense of comfort as a kid that you haven’t really been able to get as an adult.

You let out a shaky breath as your grief threatened to take over you again, as if there was literally a storm cloud surrounding your body.

You had no closure for your parents and they were just gone in a flash. A part of you even felt guilty for not being closer to your aunt since she was your last living relative, although your resentment towards her helped to mitigate some of that guilt. You realized that your parents had missed out on all your milestones: prom, high school graduation, college acceptance, getting dropped off at college, and then college graduation.

You remembered watching your classmates, both in high school and now college, get celebrated by their parents while you were either forced to be alone or be in the extremely unpleasant environment that consisted of being around your emotionally abusive aunt. It was a mix of grief over your parents’ absence and saltiness towards your classmates as they shoved the happiness that was robbed from you in your face.

They had missed all those milestones and would continue to miss them, and although it was much too soon for you to even begin thinking about marriage—they wouldn’t be able to go to that either.

Your thoughts began to manifest into the tears that were gathering at the corner of your eyes and you desperately tried to pull yourself back before you ended up having a meltdown on the spot.

You didn’t even notice when Levi had called out your name after noticing that you hadn’t moved from your spot. He eventually placed a hand on your shoulder, slightly shaking you to see what was going on. The motion startled you, causing you to flinch, with a stray tear escaping from your waterline to begin running down your cheek.

“Sorry,” you said quietly, quickly wiping the tear away and hoping that he didn’t notice. “Got distracted.”

It was Levi, so of course he noticed. He didn’t know entirely what had happened in your head, but he could tell that something was wrong, although he didn’t push it, unsure if you were in the right headspace to talk about whatever it was that you were trying to process.

The two of you were originally going to head back to campus after the visit to the cemetery, but Levi saw that you were being very quiet. Your mood had clearly changed and it wasn’t something that you’d be able to shrug off. It was important enough to have pulled you into your head, even as you desperately tried to claw your way back out.

He bumped into you a bit to get your attention, and the slight amount of contact allowed you to somewhat orient yourself, although the world still seemed murky around you.

Levi motioned towards a small building at the end of the street.

“Come, lemme show you somewhere I went to a lot as a kid.”

~~~~~

Ice cream shop plus kid Levi was not something you would have immediately put together. You thought it would have been some type of secret hideout or something along the lines of that, but he just ended up taking you to a local ice cream parlor. You would have been able to predict it if you weren’t so completely wrapped up in your head—you do gravitate towards food when stressed, after all.

The two of you sat at a small table at the inner corner of the shop, so you weren’t particularly bothered by people coming in and out. He ended up ordering a small bowl of pineapple sorbet that he was steadily eating, while you poked at your mint chocolate chip bowl without really eating it.

“You’re moping.”

Your passive stirring of the melting ice cream halted and you looked up at Levi with a frown.

“I’m not-”

You paused as a pout formed on your face, your bottom lip sticking out a bit, although there wasn’t a playful pretense attached to it this time.

“-moping.”

“Well,” he said with a sigh, sitting back in his chair. “There’s only been one other time that I’ve seen you not eat.”

It irritated you that he remembered that one night when you first moved in after you had a shitty phone call with your aunt that resulted in you moping around for the whole night instead of eating. You remembered him dragging you out of the house and taking you to a diner that night. It was one of the first positive interactions you had with him.

“...I hate you,” you grumbled. You both loved and hated how observant Levi was. He could always tell when something was bothering you, but it also meant that it was next to impossible for you to successfully mask in front of him.

“It’s your parents, isn’t it?”

You immediately averted your gaze, knowing that you’d be one step closer to having a meltdown if you looked directly into his eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Levi,” you mumbled, clenching your jaw.

He didn’t push it—something you were silently grateful for. Levi always offered the space for you to talk if needed—which you generally took and accepted—but he never once made you feel like you had to talk. He simply continued leaning against the back of the chair, although there was a slight hint of concern in his eyes.

You brought a small scoop of the ice cream to your lips, with the dessert being more liquid than it was solid at this point.

“...We didn’t get to bury them,” you said quietly, almost hoping that it was too quiet for him to hear. You looked up and saw that he was looking directly at you, indicating that he was listening.

“...They died overseas,” you explained, your voice getting a bit more audible. “They had left for vacation. I didn’t go because I had school. I was expecting them to be home in two days and then they were just-”

Your breath got caught in your throat as you looked down towards the ground, getting more upset as you were pulling up the memories.

“They were just gone,” you whispered, your voice dropping in volume again. “We had to put an empty coffin into the ground—twice.”

Mentioning the events surrounding the time of your parents' death brought all the grief that you had been suppressing back again. You thought it had gotten better. You were able to talk about them for a while without immediately falling into a slump, but you were still here in turmoil upon remembering.

“It’s been years,” you hissed, your tone having a mix of sadness and anger within it. “It’s been years since they’ve died. It’s been years since it’s happened, so I don’t know why I-”

You heard your voice begin to break as your breath got caught in your throat. You immediately stopped talking and gave yourself a minute to breathe to prevent yourself from having a full meltdown in the middle of an ice cream parlor.

“...it’s been years, so I don’t know why I still feel this way.”

You were never given a proper chance to grieve the death of your parents. You never got any closure and were forced to instead internalize all of the pain without a single clue over how to move on.

“...I’m sorry,” you said quietly after Levi didn’t respond for a while.

“Don’t be,” he muttered as he got up from the chair, collecting both your ice cream bowls and tossing it into the trash behind him. He gently placed his hand on your shoulder and nudged you to stand up.

“C'mon,” he said, motioning over towards the door, also noticing that the parlor was starting to get a bit noisy. “Let’s get you some fresh air.”

~~~~~

The silence was appreciated—you weren’t in the mood to talk. You couldn’t even mask. Even if Levi didn’t already know what was wrong, you wouldn’t be able to hide your distress from him.

Plus, you felt absolutely terrible for getting as upset as you did.

Today was supposed to be Levi’s day to visit his mother’s grave, and yet he was the one providing you comfort. While you knew that you couldn’t help feeling what you felt, part of you was still upset at yourself for not being able to mask better.

You were quiet for the entire walk to the park, looking down at the ground in front of you with your hands tucked into the pockets of your jeans. You had a blank expression on your face, but Levi knew that “blank” was that last thing that you felt.

The two of you eventually arrived at a bench and you followed Levi’s lead as he took a seat.

It was getting late in the day. The sun was going to go down within the hour and most of the children had been picked up and taken home. Thus, you were more than a little annoyed when you heard a commotion from across the park.

When you saw what it was, you got even more annoyed.

It wasn’t anything bad, per se—but it provided you with a punch to the gut.

You scowled with resentment in your eyes as you saw a group of high schoolers getting picked up for prom, with them all dressed in their silly little formal outfits as they gathered in excitement for pictures and to ride their expensively rented limousine to the prom venue. Some parents tagged along as well, no doubt celebrating their children’s path to graduation.

Given the context of what you had to deal with that day, seeing this sight left nothing but a sour taste in your mouth. Sure, you had attended prom and put on a smile throughout the whole thing, but that was the last thing you felt. You went out of a sense of obligation and you didn’t even get to fully experience the joy that was supposed to come with it. It was just a waste of time and money at that point.

Your scowl did not go unnoticed.

“It’s normal,” Levi said, sitting forward so he could see you better. His voice dragged you out of your clouded thoughts and you were able to finally remove your sultry gaze from the pack of overzealous high schoolers.

You looked over at him, unsure as to what he’s referring to.

“To be pissed at them for having what you don’t.”

Your lips parted a bit, having not expected Levi to be perspective enough to even observe the minute details of your chaotic and resentful thoughts. You frowned again and looked away towards the ground, glaring daggers into the wood chips.

“I’m serious,” he spoke again, nudging you to get your attention. “You know why I was pissed at undergrads for so long?”

You glanced over at him, but otherwise remained silent.

“Watching all of you running around without giving a single shit about anything,” he continued. “Only caring about what party to go to, or what fraternity to get accepted into or whatnot—it pissed me the fuck off.”

“Is that why you were always so grouchy?” you mumbled dryly, recalling how sour his mood always was when you first moved in.

He nudged you in retaliation for your comment.

“My piece of shit uncle made sure that I wasn’t able to get that college experience that you all glorify so much,” Levi muttered, clearly still holding resentment towards his lack of an enjoyable undergrad experience. “So yeah, I found myself more than a little pissed when I was forced to be exposed to it all the time when working.”

You knew what he was getting at. The underlying theme between what he was sharing and what you had been feeling throughout the latter half of the day was resentment.

Levi was saying that he understood your resentment and more importantly, that you shouldn’t guilt yourself for it. It was normal.

After a few seconds of silence, you slowly opened your mouth again to speak, looking up to meet his eyes that had a touch of concern hidden behind them.

“How am I supposed to live with this?” you asked, your voice merely a whisper. “Every time it’s brought up, I feel myself get upset—and every time, it’s getting harder and harder to push away-”

“Then don’t,” he immediately answered, barely giving you enough time to finish your sentence.

“What?” you asked as your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Don’t push it away,” he reemphasized, shuffling in his seat so that he was facing you directly, his body turned towards you so that you were right in front of him.

“Look at me,” he sternly commanded, grabbing your shoulders and turning you to him as you began to stare at the ground again, before lifting your chin so he could look directly into your eyes.

His gesture, tone of voice, and words were all making it so that the emotions you were trying so hard to keep in check were rapidly bubbling up within you. It made you feel like you wanted to throw up. It was a horrible feeling and your immediate instinct was to push them away again, but that was the exact opposite of what Levi was trying so hard to get you to do.

“It’s okay to miss them,” he spoke with determination in his voice as he looked at you, his gaze unwavering. “And it’s okay to grieve them.”

Those were the words that you both dreaded and needed to hear. It was the final crack that forced the wall that you had built around your grief to come crashing down on you. Your eyes began heating up as tears gathered, and that’s when you knew that any further efforts to suppress your emotions would only end in failure.

Seeing your reaction, Levi immediately wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in, allowing you to cry into his shoulder, his fingers gently running through your hair as a small gesture of comfort.

It wasn’t until now that you’ve realized that you never let yourself fully cry about your parents’ death. It was always triggered by or channeled through something else. You never once gave yourself the grace to allow yourself to just feel your loss and learn to make room for it.

“You’re not alone,” he whispered into your ear, planting a quick kiss on your head.

This was what you needed. Levi provided you a space to just…cry. No further words really needed to be exchanged. Words of comfort were welcome, but not needed. All you needed was literally just a shoulder to cry on, and to have space to finally process your grief and the years of pent-up resentment and pain within you—and Levi provided you with exactly that.

After a few minutes, you felt your breathing stabilize as you pulled away, wiping the remaining tears off your cheeks, and rubbing at your eyes that were now slightly swollen. A part of you felt embarrassed for crying in public, but Levi was literally your safe space, even in a public park where anyone could technically pass.

“...I’m sorry that I probably ruined your day,” you said with a sniffle as you continued to rub your eyes.

Levi blinked at you as his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

You gave him a sad and sheepish smile, although it looked more like an expression of guilt.

“It was your day to visit your mom’s grave and then I ended up being all grouchy about my own grief,” you mumbled, your voice dropping to a whisper. “So…sorry for ruining it.”

Levi tutted in disapproval and then sighed.

“You’re so stupid,” he scolded as he flicked at your forehead again. The gesture had become endearing over the course of the past year. You had pouted and grumbled the very first time he did it, but now it was his way of reassuring you that things were occasionally not as bad as your mind made it out to be, or that you’d be strong enough to cope with it even if it was.

It was an endearing gesture, but it did occasionally get annoying whenever you were seriously upset, which resulted in a pout appearing on your face. Your bottom lip stuck out as you frowned at him, but you didn’t avert your gaze this time.

“I’ve had time to process,” he said with another sigh. “You haven’t.”

You looked away again, hating that he could make you feel so exposed, yet understood, and horrifically uncomfortable while also providing you with the exact comfort that you needed.

He immediately reached out and grabbed your chin again to force you to look at him.

“It’s okay to grieve,” he said sternly, as if this wasn’t a topic he was willing to budge on. “You didn’t ruin my day, and I’m not mad.”

You looked into his eyes as you let out a shaky breath, trying to convince yourself to believe his words. Levi wasn’t one to sugar coat or lie just to make you feel better, but you still had trouble letting go of that guilt you felt over the events of the day.

“Plus,” he said with a shrug, “it’s not like Mother’s Day was reserved only for me. So quit shaming yourself for something that’s not even a problem.”

Levi had the somewhat fascinating ability to be harsh and immensely comforting at the same time. He was blunt, and it was offensive sometimes, but it also fed into your ability to really trust him to be there in the way that you needed him to be. You knew that his presence, harsh personality and all, was exactly what you needed to be able to process your grief and finally take that first step forward towards moving on.

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @v4mp-wife @moonchild-angel @astri-ackerman @auriuswolve @noctemys @you-always-made-me-blush @raginginferno267 @sugurusdiscordmoderator @jennamelinda12 @noodlejitsu @nalu-trashytrash @creigh-h @gina239

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi heichou x reader #captain levi x reader #levi #levi ackerman #levi heichou #captain levi #fics: matcha #modern!au levi #coffeeshop!au levi #college!au levi #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk

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night-heron-writes · 1 year

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My Thoughts on Spy x Family Chapter 75

Warning: This post contains spoilers for Chapter 75 of the manga

Firstly, the stellas were very much deserved all around. All four of them were very brave the entire time, and even though I think Anya and Damian each deserved an extra stella for the bomb collars around their necks, I wouldn't be surprised if Eden has a policy of not giving out more than one stella at a time to each student.

Becky wanting to use the event to launch her singing career is hysterical and honestly a very 6-year-old thing to do.

Now for the parents' reactions:

Mr. Blackbell wins 2nd place in the Most Concerned Parent Contest. He was literally ready to go to war for her and started bawling the moment she was safe.

The Anya/Yor reunion was sweet and went down pretty much as I expected. I am glad Anya got to break down and cry now that she and everyone else are safe.

Twilight's reaction was kinda underwhelming, but I'm banking on him just absolutely breaking down once he gets back home. He's probably still running on adrenaline and hasn't really processed anything yet.

But Melinda. Holy shit. This woman is complicated. Where do I even start with her?

I'm noticing how the positive, caring thoughts/emotions come first, and then are followed by the appallingly cold stuff. It's like her first, instinctual reaction is to love and worry for Damian, but she's desperately trying to convince herself she doesn't care.

Interestingly enough, the way she's talking here makes me wonder if she is Donovan's second wife. Not once has Melinda ever mentioned Demetrius, even with the Mommy Club. She did, however, bring up Damian in conversation with Yor.

If she is indeed Mrs. Desmond No. 2, then I'm very curious ab what might have happened to her predecessor. Her being Donovan's second wife would potentially explain the seemingly large age gap between Demetrius and Damian.

It also seems like she didn't want children, or at least didn't want to have children in this particular relationship. Given what we know of Donovan and what we now know of Melinda's psyche, I think its safe to say he is at the very least emotionally abusing his family and quite possibly doing much worse. He seems like the type to pull some messed up psychological shit. It would make sense imo for Melinda to not want to bring kids into that kind of household. But I can imagine her wishes not being respected, partly bc of societal pressure and partly bc Donovan doesn't seem to care what anyone else wants.

That might explain her abrupt attitude switch, if she has loads of Donovan-related trauma. She literally went from Yuri-levels of devotion to and obsession over her son to wishing he'd died in the hijacking within like 0.1 seconds after Donovan was mentioned. She even calls him "that man" instead of "my husband" or "your father", which is honestly very telling.

I wonder if Melinda trying to convince herself she doesn't care about Damian is so that Donovan can't use him against her. If this is the case, then Donovan getting wind of her actual feelings towards Damian could be disastrous for them both. This of course doesn't excuse her behavior in the slightest, but is one interesting theory to explain her mental and emotional state.

Melinda seems to think that Damian's existence traps her in the Donovan household. She both loves him because he's her son and resents him because he keeps her tied to a waking nightmare, hence her wishing he'd died in the hijacking. She probably thinks that if he'd died, they'd both be free. If she didn't have him to worry about, she would likely run away to the in-universe equivalent of Italy or something. I can't imagine her being happy in her current situation.

All in all, I'm starting to think that living in the dorms is really the safest, healthiest option for the Desmond kids. They may face ridiculously high expectations, but at least they have a solid routine and aren't in a house where they have to wonder if their parents actually care for their well-being.

I think it would be fascinating if at some point Melinda suffers a breakdown and ends up a patient of everybody's favorite psychiatrist, Loid Forger. What other kinds of issues lurk beneath the surface of her mind?

#spy x family #spy x family meta #lea over analyzes fictional stuff again #melinda desmond #melinda desmond is fucked up #spy x family spoilers #spy x family chapter 75 #spy x family chapter 75 spoilers

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brokensenseofhumor · 5 hours

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The controversial post that I mentioned on my birthday (aka Tuesday, this post is going up on either Thursday 11pm or Friday asscrack of dawn)

The purpose of this post is to clarify a variety of things just in case I go missing Friday afternoon, but due to certain events on my birthday it turned into an exposé + vent post. Even with such circumstances, I hope you can take away some knowledge about me and other people from this post.

WARNINGS: Private matters that have already been dealt with either a few days or even months ago that I’m needlessly bringing to light, mentions of death threats, and lost of fucked up shit in general.

Saii (@/monochrome-cropcrown) dismissed a really violent meltdown I had the day before my birthday and tried using her visit to the hospital as an excuse for not giving a fuck or even bothering to read not even 1 message from the 1 hour worth of distressed and downright concerning messages I had spammed her with an hour and a half ago. We got into a screaming match and she blocked me, but a few hours later she unblocked me, and started harassing me with messages basically victim blaming me for not being god and being unable to control my emotions, then blocked me again before I even had a chance to respond. Here is evidence:

That being said, I also have to take accountability for the horrible shit i said during my mental breakdown. I admit I made threats of physical violence against Fukui Takumi, wishing he’d slip down his stairs and bash his head into a wall, and I apologize for that. I was far too wrapped up in my emotions to realize I was saying overall horrible things aimed at someone that doesn’t even know who I am, and I apologize deeply for that. I’ll try to find better coping mechanisms to avoid this type of situation next chapter drop.

@/huntersmoon1 traumadumped on me multiple times despite me clarifying that I’m a neurodivergent and seriously mentally ill teenager just as many times, and she’s a grown woman in her late 20’s/early 30s that should be getting a therapist instead of telling some mentally unstable minor on the internet about her family’s problems. She also infodumped to me about useless things, even after I have told her I am not intrested in the slightest about anything she’s telling me about. She blocked me after I complained about another one of these needless infodumps, unblocked me after Mina’s exposure, we both mutually apologized for our mistakes, and she proceeded to block me again.

Shortly after Mina’s exposure as a groomer, @/praisethesuuun made a post saying that I shouldn’t be on the internet just because I have BPD symptoms and I’m also a minor.

My mom neglects me and verbally abuses me and my dad is a creep that always disrespects my boundaries, has tried to SA me when I was around 7-9, and this week he stole the conditioner my mom bought for me (after refusing to buy me a new one for the past 3 weeks).

The verbal abuse from my mom started when I was around 5-6 years old.

My mom also held off on buying me toothpaste for 4 weeks, and I was stuck using probably expired toothpaste for over a month.

My school feels more like a North Korean labor camp rather than a school. My homeroom teacher is a bitch, as of the time im writing this post she has threatened to smell each and every student’s ARMPITS (With the most psychotic smile on her face, too) MULTIPLE TIMES. The school’s practices are no better either. Oh what’s that? You didn’t do this easily forgettable and completely useless and unnecessary homework? Oh I’m so sorry, your exam score is an automatic 0 now. Most teachers are so strict that I almost developed a crush one the one teacher that was actually cool.

ALL HAIL KENDRICK LAMAR 🙇🙇🙇🙇

Tags: @aresarmyblog @rukia-writes @amphitriteswife @micah-drew @mizz-sea-nymph @miyahsart @cherry-froese @riseofamoonycake @incorrect-record-of-ragnarok @itz-hellenz @swallowtail-lotus @the-gentlemen-jack @sibchatactics @onecantsimply

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year

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Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 22 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 23

Summary: Loki isn't the only one fighting with his inner demons. People from your past continues to turn up.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

His palms felt clammy, he had been standing outside the orphanage for half an hour and you were taking your own sweet time coming out, as he noticed a girl approaching him he was slightly surprised. For some reason he kept picturing the eleven year old sweet girl that he knew instead of this fully matured grown woman that he probably would have fucked if he met her at the club. Just 18, he had to remind himself that you were barely an adult.

"Hiiii" you smiled at him and he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Y/n"

"Lokii..how are you?" You were the reason he was even alive today, for a moment the feeling overwhelmed him so he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him to hug you.

"Thank you darling, thank you..I'll take care of you I promise" the gratitude slipped past his lips and as he felt your arms around his waist his nerves went calm for a moment.

"So it was your birthday a few days ago, want to do something?" You looked at him as he said that.

"Not really..Where are we going?"

"Ummm my place" you hummed as he answered.

He drove you to his house and you looked around as you both entered the studio apartment he was renting in Brooklyn. It wasn't enough for you two but that's all he was able to do at the time, the divorce settlement has ruined him even further.

"It's cozy, I like it" you placed your backpack down on the couch and smiled again.

"Well you can take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch, food is in the fridge, here's the..umm some money..you can go grocery shopping or get whatever you need..the girl stuff and all" he passed you a few dollar bills so you took it from him, everything was awkward with you two and he felt it in his bones.

"What do you do for work?" You asked him and he sighed

"A small gig at a club"

"What type of gig, are you a bartender?" He combed his hair with his fingers as he tried to avoid your constant gaze.

"A bouncer..you ask too many questions" The job always paid okay, that's also how he met Jolene as well, she frequented the club he worked at and she finally asked him out one fine day. When they got married she got him a position at her accounting firm but he was fired while he was resting after the wrist slitting incident. Now he wished that he never ever met her at all.

"That's hot..i like bouncers..they're soo strong and so manly" his brows furrowed as you said that, how the hell you had even been in a nightclub? He wasn't sure if he wanted to know that.

"Well I have to go meet someone..when I come back we can discuss your uhhhh future plans…if you want to get into college or–"

"No discussion required..I want to become an actor..we should probably move to LA" you mumbled nonchalantly before you proceeded to raid the fridge that was mostly empty.

"Excuse me?" He looked at you all perplexed, getting you into acting business didn't seem feasible to him.

"LA? Los angeles?"

"I know where LA is ..are you serious about this acting thing?"

"As serious as Joker was before his dad carved his face" he looked at you all confused again as you quipped "Really??never?? Oh my god we are definitely going to watch the dark knight once you come back.. Don't worry we don't need to watch the first part.. honestly 60 percent of people skipped the first part and went straight to TDK and somehow it makes perfect sense ..it's like you're not even missing anything important or worth knowing…you know…"

Your voice faded in the background as you continued to speak gibberish to him. However your sweet voice also filled his empty sad apartment and he liked that. Alot. That was the moment he knew that life wouldn't be the same from then, he knew he'd have to make several adjustments and since he had taken the responsibility of taking care of you, your dreams and aspirations became his as well.

His eyes opened to your shaking form and he absolutely abhorred that, every time you had a nightmare he felt afraid that you'd slip past his fingers like that one horrible time. It had happened a few days prior to your mother's anniversary during the second year of living together. He never talks about it because you don't seem to have any recollection of those two days, at first he wasn't sure how to deal with you, how to bring you back but on the third night you went to sleep and came back absolutely normal. You had a bad dream last night too but it was about Thor and he just knew this one was different from that. He knew you'd probably not remember this one because it involved your mother.

"Hey sweetheart" he turned the lamp on to see you properly. His heart rendered as he noticed the tears running down the corner of your eyes,

"Loloooo …mommmyy .. I want mommmy" you sniffled, your voice reminded him of that little girl he had left at the orphanage.

"I know baby..it's okay.. open your eyes..I'm here..im here" he shook your body a little and you woke up gasping for air,

"Lolooo mommyyy ..I need mommmy"

"Shhhhhh baby.. everything is okay..you're safe" he mumbled softly as he wiped your tears, his lips lingered over your forehead before he wrapped his arm around your waist and made you sit up so he could embrace you, you felt safe that way.

He leaned against the headboard while you clutched onto him and cried your heart out.

"I'm here baby, my sweet girl, come back to me, I'm right here, you have me i promise" he mumbled mindlessly

"Don't send me away ..they sent me away every time I had a nightmare..they sent me to that place I hated" you sniffled between your words and his eyes welled up.

"You have me okay? I got you baby, I got you i promise" you hugged him as tightly as you could and your foggy grief stricken mind lulled you to sleep but he couldn't sleep that night, next morning as usual you didn't remember the outburst like always, a few years ago he had asked Steve about that place you kept talking about after such nightmares and Steve told him that it was a psychiatric hospital where they sent you whenever you relapsed or whenever you showed the signs of dissociative Amnesia.

"What are you making?" You hugged him from behind so he smiled.

"Guess" you opened the lid of the pot and all the excitement disappeared

"Porridge" your face scrunched in disgust and it made him smile.

"Well you wanted to eat healthy remember"

"Just take me to the gym again, it's been months" you groaned as you moved around the kitchen to make tea

"I will.. as soon as he's caught" You hummed as he said that "Are you feeling okay sweetheart?" He asked you softly and you shrugged

"Yeahh why?" He sighed as you said that. He wanted to ignore it like he had done before but after last night and the way you were trying to help him cope with his trauma, it had made him reflect upon your own situation, you didn't get away unscathed from his father's abuse, sure he wasn't able to harm you irrevocably but the damage was already done when he had hurt your mother.

"Because of the nightmare? Do you remember what you saw?" He asked you and you stopped doing whatever you were doing.

"Nooo.. i .. I didn't have a nightmare last night..it was the night before remember?" You walked over to him to kiss him on the cheek and he hummed in response. He can't just dump it on you, that would only make the matters worse, he had to find a way to talk to you about this.

"Take me shopping today daddy, it's my birthday in a few days"

He picked you up and sat you down on the counter as you said that. Your birthday. He promised to fuck you senselessly on your birthday but the approaching date had him feeling someway, he couldn't decide if it was a good feeling or not, a part of him wanted to ravish you and enjoy every second of it. The other part though? that bastard wanted to keep himself away from your precious body as far as possible, he didn't deserve to fuck a girl like you, he was one of the reasons why girls like you lost their lives, he was the reason why their dreams got broken so how come he got so blessed as to have someone as pure as you saving herself for him.

"What else would you like to do? A party perhaps?" You thought about it as he said that.

"Or we could just spend it together..just the two of us" you answered him while your fingers played with his chest hairs so he kissed you.

"Aren't you bored of seeing my face all the time?" He chuckled after speaking.

"Ask that girl who spent 7 years without seeing this angelic face. She'd always say no" his eyes softened as you said that.

"For this to happen it had to be that way"

"For what to happen?" You asked him confused so he cupped your cheeks.

"For this to happen.." he kissed you passionately, it wasn't a touch and go type of kiss either, his tongue slid into your mouth so you sucked on it, he tasted like peppermint. Delicious "It had to be that way" you inhaled sharply as he finally decided to allow you to breathe.

"Does it bother you that I was into you way before you were into me?" You asked him

"You were just a child sweetheart, you didn't even know what you felt"

"Well I knew I wanted to kiss you, I was ten when I knew that I wanted to kiss you and –"

"Shut Up.. that's inappropriate as hell" He pressed his thumb onto your lips but his digit couldn't really stop you from smiling or talking even

"It's just the truth, and to this date you are still the prettiest boy i have ever seen in my life"

"Well i'm no boy now my darling" he wrapped your legs around his waist to pull you closer to him and his mouth travelled down from your lips, you moaned as he sucked the soft skin of your neck.

"Some parts of you is still the boy i met"

"Uhhhuh like what?" He chuckled condescendingly so you held his cheeks and kissed him lovingly, as lovingly as you could.

"Like these eyes, still as gentle as I remember, mommy always told me that you could judge a person fairly well by the look in their eyes, you have the kindest eyes lolo" his eyes teared up as you said that. He thought you'd give him a break after last night but you were hell bent on coddling him like a baby.

"Well your mommy wasn't really the best judge of character"

"Take it back" your voice broke because the meanie in him came out again so he kissed you again.

"I'm sorry baby" he murmured against your mouth and you almost melted into a puddle because of how tender he seemed at the moment "You're forgiven" He smiled as you whispered. He wondered how badly he'd have to hurt you to make him unforgivable in your eyes because no matter what he did or said you always forgave him and that too pretty easily.

"What else?" He asked you and it confused you for a moment before it finally dawned upon you. He wanted to know more about those boyish parts of him.

"The smile, still the same, everytime I felt scared at the orphanage I would just think about you and your smiling face, that calmed me down immediately" he kissed you again instead of responding with words "And your voice hasn't changed in the slightest either"

"You are such a sentimental little girl"

"Is that bad?"

"Not at all, I just don't want to disappoint you with my stoicism" a smile graced your features at the blatant lie.

"You're pretty sentimental yourself mister "

"No I'm not"

"Yes you are"

"Shhhhhh"

After force feeding you that unsavory porridge he took you shopping like you had asked him to, you also had to be at an audition tomorrow, you needed to find work or you knew he'd try and find other works, like that thing he used to do at the club, you hated not having him at home all night.

You picked a dress but you didn't want him to see it just yet. You both spent the whole day out, it was a peaceful day but it didn't stay that way. Ofcourse it didn't. It came crashing down on you.

Your soul almost evaporated as someone ran in front of the car, you both watched a woman lying unconscious in the middle of the deserted road and you wondered if she was alive.

"Is she…oh gooddd" you mumbled under your breath so he looked at you

"Stay in here okay?" He asked you so you nodded. She had long blonde hair so it wasn't Jolene, you hated that it was your first thought. Your worries didn't cease there because as Loki rolled her over, it was someone you knew, someone you both knew very well. He picked her up hurriedly before you two could get caught by a passerby or something. After laying her down on the backseat, he quickly got in and drove towards the apartment as fast as he could.

"Ummm is that uhh--"

"Yeah and I don't trust the bitch so we are going to take her home and you're going to help me tie her up as securely as we can okay?" You looked at him all perplexed and he glared at you so you nodded.

The cops on the patrol tonight asked him about her so he lied that she was a friend that had gotten drunk out of her mind. As soon as you all reached the apartment you helped him tie her up onto a chair.

"Lokiii what are we doing..is she even alive?" you asked him nervously so he walked towards you and grabbed you by the shoulders.

"She's alive and breathing, it makes no fucking sense that she'd end up right in front of our car of all people"

"We should tell Steve "

"No not after Thor's situation, I'm already on his radar"

"But what if this brings us more trouble?" he wiped the sweat beads from his forehead as you said that. Ever since his bastard father has escaped your lives has turned into a rollercoaster that just doesn't seem to stop rolling.

You both waited for her to come back to consciousness and when she did she started to struggle against the binds almost immediately.

"Why the fuck are you here?" He asked her as he pulled up a chair right in front of her, you dragged another chair from the kitchen table, it almost looked comical as you tried to be as quiet as you could but the situation wasn't funny at all.

"Lokiii? Y/n?"

Well no memory loss it seems.

"Why the fuck You have me tied up Loki? I know you enjoyed that one time I had--" your eyes widened as she said that. He fucked her all tied up? Again you hated how your mind couldn't move past the jealousy

"Shut up.. shut the fuck up okay? Why are you here..answer me" he glared at her and she looked at you, she then gave you the sickly sweet smile that you remembered really well.

"Oh look at you now, turned yourself into Loki's pretty little girl huh?? Dreams do come true i guess"

"Sister Natasha–" Loki glared at you so you corrected yourself

"Natasha..what are you doing?"

"I don't understand, do you guys like own LA now that I can't be here?" She chuckled and Loki's teeth gritted in anger, he was so close to doing something awful

"Are you here to do his bidding again? He sent you.. didn't he?" she started laughing as he said that.

"You are still so naive loki. You know if he wanted to be here and eat her heart he'd be here, he won't need me" He stood up and all of a sudden there was a smacking sound that you heard, you looked at him shocked as he slapped her. Her lower lip split open at the force he used, your eyes teared up because you weren't expecting him to just go off like that, he never lost his control like that with you. He wasn't like that. Not with women. Not outside of consensual bedroom shenanigans.

"Ohhh I have missed that" her reaction wasn't shocking though, you knew they fucked, you just didn't know they indulged into this, though you should have guessed considering the sexual history of the cult.

"Don't make me kill you Natasha, just tell me the truth, for once in your life, tell me the truth"

He heard you sniffling so he turned his head to the side to look at you, the look on your face was enough to kill whatever shred of self esteem he still had left in him.

He walked towards you and grabbed your arm to take you to the bedroom.

"Stay here" he warned you before he turned around to leave

"This is not you loki" his eyes teared up as you said that.

"That's me sweetheart, that's the real me..still want to believe that bullshit you had made up in your head about me? This is me..the monster I keep warning you about"

You shook your head as he said that, you wanted to stop him and hold him, tell him that he wasn't a monster but he didn't give you a chance, just an hour later cops raided the house, they were tipped off. Natasha told them that he had kidnapped her, she told them that you had no involvement in all of this, you begged Steve to not believe her, you asked him to not take him away from you but he said that he was helpless. All the evidence was against him.

They wanted to take him away to lock him behind the bars, he was to be questioned later on about his motives.

And that's when you were finally able to understand why he went crazy on her, he knew her. You didn't.

You didn't know that she was as rotten as Odin. He wasn't wrong, she was there to do his bidding and she got what she needed. You without him by your side.

@annoyingsweetsstranger @whylokiissocute @loki-s-wife @fraoid3 @siggytumbles @crzyplantladyvibes @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vickie5446 @wheredafandomat @mcufan72 @xxntiimulti @loz-3 @dishahaldar @mcdesij @scram1326 @elthreetimes @army24--7 @sinsandguilt @holotacopeely @huntress-artemiss @blog-the-lilly @ultraviolencexxss @disneyismyworldforever @bunny24sstuff @kats72 @somewiseguy @asgardianprincess1050 @multifandom-world8 @loki-laufeyson-1054 @daddylokisqueen @lulubelle814 @itsybitchylittlewitchy @rogerrhqpsody @praq123

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

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#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki alternate universe #loki au #dark themes

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