#also has maybe complemented me once or twice in my entire life about something to do with me as a person

[maxellminidisc]

Genuinely think if I wasn't my moms kid she would not like me very much as a person

#this is probably my period talking lol #but idk ive talked about it before but my mom is a very affection stunted person #so growing up she like rarely ever complimented me #and her way of 'helping me' or comforting me was telling me how wrong i do things so i can 'figure out' the solution loooll #she still does this and even though im conscious of it it still sucks.... #plus every person with similar traits to me she finds annoying or unbearable so its like what was I supposed to think?? #also has maybe complemented me once or twice in my entire life about something to do with me as a person

[underatedcharactersunite]

Home Sweet Home

Summary; You and Maxwell move into your first home together and decide to explore the town while buying furniture for your first home together.  Pairing: Maxwell Jacob Friedman x Reader WordCount; 1,507 Based off of a prompt from this prompt List;  Warnings; None, just sweet old fluff A/N; So my sister @deansamore​ decided to challenge me to post everyday for the rest of the year. Not wanting to back down, I agreed with. If I win, she will redesign my blog and change my layouts every month next year. If I lose, then I have to buy her some diamond paintings. Game on! 

Day 2

                               »»————-　🇰　————-««

As the movers unloaded the last box from the truck, it finally dawned on you the significance of this moment. You and Max had finally moved in together. It had taken the two of you many months of searching for your ideal first home together. The relatively new build was flawless. Every need that the both of you desired this home had to offer. Now it was finally yours. 

As the early morning chill nipped at your nose, the two of you thanked the movers who had been perfect at moving your belongings to one home. Everything was essential. The two of you choose to purchase brand new furniture for your home together. The two of you couldn’t begin to settle into your new home just yet as there was the vital next step of picking out furniture that would complete your home. Grabbing ahold of your car keys, both of you made your way into town to locate the furniture shop that you located when you drove into your new town. 

Slipping out of the car, Max instinctively strolled around to your side, holding out his hand for you to take, as your fingers laced with one another, he held your hand up to his lips so he could caress a tender kiss onto the back of your hand.

“I think we’ve moved into the right place, don’t you agree? The town seemed energetic yet peaceful enough. Hopefully, we can get everything we need here because I sure don’t want to end up in Ikea again.” You broke into laughter as you remembered the first time Max attempted to build your new coffee table. He was positive that he would end up being the one to help you put the new coffee table in place. However, after six hours of rereading instructions time and time again, he ended up calling Wardlow for help. Who in a matter of half an hour of arriving managed to have the table up and in place.

“Is Wardlow on standby just in case? I don’t believe you want another repeat from the last time you decided to assemble furniture?” Max quickly wrapped his arms around you, tickling your sides. You ignored the disapproving people giving you dirty glances as they walked by. Although, you were certain you faintly heard an elderly couple mentioning how adorable the two were. Your laughter was infectious as the two of you enjoyed a moment together. 

As the perfect autumn day dawned, the two of you were surrounded by the leaves changing colours, the crunching of leaves on the ground with the farmers market in the background.  The echoing of stall traders calls out their deals of fresh fruits and vegetables echoed over. 

“Perhaps when we’re done ordering the furniture, we could head over there to grab some groceries for the house. You plugged the fridge in before we left the house, right?” 

“Yeah, you don’t seem to be the farmers market kind of guy?” Max wrapped his arm around your shoulders as the two of you slowed down as you approached the furniture store you were after. 

“You know I’m full of surprises, is that not why your with me in the first place?” Max was certainly one of the more interesting boyfriend’s you had ever had. There was a level of unpredictability to him. Your relationship was certainly interesting, and Max was able to keep you on your toes.

“It’s one of many reasons why I’m with you.” Max’s signature smirk appeared on his face as he played with your fingers that had reached up to entwine your fingers together. 

“Many things, why don’t you name them for me?” Rolling your eyes, you playfully poked him in the stomach. 

“I don’t have enough time for that now, maybe later.” Walking into the store, you both knew that there were some decisions to be made. Both of you had very different styles, so this was set to be an interesting trip. 

In all fairness, the two of you had not argued about a single piece of furniture so far. Both of your styles appeared to complement each other well. The shop assistant commented on how perfect the two of you appeared to suit each other. 

After all the furniture was ordered, the two of you decided to locate the farmers market across the street. The chilling early morning start appeared to disappear as the heat rose on this Autumn September day.  As you began to feel too warm, you slipped your jacket off and tired it around your waist. 

“That has to be one of my favourite things about autumn. Starting off the day, cold with the frost pinching my nose, and then the summer invades and takes over for a little longer.” 

“You know you should become a writer you always have such a way with words. Let’s see if we can locate anything to fill the fridge.” Stepping into the market, everyone appeared friendly as market traders attempted to get you to come over to their stool.

There was a variety of fresh vegetables and fruits to offer. Everything smelt delicious and mouthwatering. Max and you began to purchase food off of the market as you tried to get everything both of you desired and things to help with Max’s food prep for when he went onto the road. 

The two of you got separated you struggled to locate Max. Although you were not worried too much you continued to browse through the market, picking up some of your favourite fruits to create a fruit bowl, for your new dining table when he arrived on a couple of days. 

As you stepped onto the following stool to browse to see what else the two of you could purchase for your home, a market trader around your age began to flirt with you. 

“I’m sorry, but she is taken.” Max’s hand rested on your lower back as the Market Trader looked shocked. 

“I’m sorry, Sir. My mistake, I was simply admiring your girlfriend’s beauty.” 

“Well, she’s not yours to admire, unless it’s from afar. Come on there’s something I wanted to show you.” Stepping away from the stool, Max made sure to wrap his arm around you tighter as you noticed he was now free of any of the bags he had been carrying. 

“So the other day, I looked over to see you were looking at porch Autumn designs.” Nodding, you didn’t understand where this conversation was going exactly. You became aware that you were heading back to the car, as Max took ahold of the bags and placed them into the boot of the car. 

As the two of you went down a different part of the town, you wondered where you were going. Looking around you noticed that there were beautiful Autumn wreaths everywhere. You were already imaging how beautiful porch could look like, your inner interior designer was desperate to let itself loose.

“I will let you lose on our porch until October, then we can work on it for Halloween together, how does that sound?” You couldn’t have been offered a better prospect, you would finally have your project. 

Moving in Max was going to be the next exciting chapter in your life and you couldn’t be more excited. You couldn’t wait for your furniture to arrive so the two of you could host your housewarming party that the two were so desperate to have. 

“So does that mean you’ll be home for Halloween this year?” 

“I’ll try to, but in the meantime, we’ll at least have the best decorated in the street.” Rolling your eyes, of course, you would know that this would turn into a competition. Max was competitive. It didn’t matter what it was about, who it concerned if Max wanted to turn something into a competition that he certainly would do. 

“If we’re not careful then everyone is going to make us the most competitive house in the street.”

“Would that be a bad thing? Letting the entire neighbourhood know that we are here to say.” Rolling your eyes, you led Max over to the place that held the beautiful wreaths in their window. 

“Let’s not get the whole street to hate us within hours of moving in.” The two of you walked into the store and prepared for Autumn. The two of you were about to explore a whole new world as your relationship continued to develop, who knows where it could end up. 

Something was certain, you couldn’t wait to find out where life would take you in the future. You also knew the possibilities are endless as you became first-time homeowners.  

As you exited the store with your supplies to decorate your porch, Max stopped you onto the pathway, without some much as a second moment, Max pressed his lips onto yours. 

“Have I told you I loved you today” 

“You might have said it once or twice. Why?” 

“I don’t want you to ever forget that I do that’s all.

#AEW Imagines #AEW imagine #MJF imagines #MJF Imagine #MJF oneshot #MJF One shot #AEW oneshot #AEW One shot #deansamoreendofyearchallenge

[willel]

Lonnie

I don’t have much else to do and I’ve seen some mostly friendly discussion on this topic so I wanted to throw my hat into the ring. A welcome distraction from less interesting fandom debates.

Lonnie Byers. Dead beat, absent father of Jonathan and Will. It seems from the very getgo, Lonnie and Joyce’s relationship was on the rocks and yet somehow he got her pregnant. Twice.

In some ways.... Lonnie is very representative of my own family situation. Constant arguing, kids being put in the middle of the conflict. Mom raises the two kids all on her own (in my case, we had government assistance). I don’t have a volatile relationship with my dad like Will and Jonathan though. He’s never laid a hand on me, he was just... EXTREMELY absent and I have accepted that many times in his life, I’m sure he wished my brother and I didn’t exist. (people do change though, my brother and I kinda chose to keep our dad in our lives and it’s generally worked out and much better now that we’re grown so my parents don’t have to talk to one another)

But, I can tell. Lonnie is NOT like my father. Lonnie appears to have more issues than just being absent and a toxic relationship with his babies mama.

It seems to me, Lonnie is irresponsible with his money and constantly put his family’s financial health at risk. It seems like he has/had a drinking problem or possibly something more (drugs). But one of the most OBVIOUS things to me is, I think Lonnie was physically abuse to go along with the emotional kind.

There is no picture perfect definition of abuse. It manifests in various ways. Do I think Lonnie beat his family until they were black and blue with constant blood and scars? No, that pretty obviously isn’t the case.

Lonnie’s physical abuse seems to manifest as:

Pushing his family around

“Wrestling” which is actually just pinning them forcefully and pretend to be playing around

Corporal punishment. I was going to say this is a given, it was the 80′s. Even I got “whoopins”. But I know that’s probably not as common as I used to think

Physically imposing/threatening. Even if he doesn’t touch them, Lonnie was/is bigger than all of them. (Even with Will’s growth spurt, if he’s only the same height as Jonathan, Lonnie is still bigger and stronger)

Obviously, none of these are the intense stories you hear about abusive dead beat dads. You could almost say it was tame. Some would say none of these classify as physical abuse, but I think it does.

You can see it in the show.

Lonnie’s first appearance in the show is shoving Jonathan hard against the wall and then complementing his ability to finally push him off. Which means in the past, he has probably pinned Jonathan to the wall or the floor or whatever before many many times and Jonathan wasn’t strong enough to push him off. Note, Jonathan was 9 years old when Lonnie left and Will was 5.

When Joyce and Lonnie are arguing in the house, he technically doesn’t put a hand on her, but it does tower over her quite a lot. Maybe in the past that would’ve gotten to her (my mom is even shorter than Winona and she comments a lot about how much she hates how some taller people use their height to get at her. I honestly don’t think most people do it on purpose though. Lol)

Joyce uses a hammer to force Lonnie out of the house. When Hopper later comes to tell her she’s right, she’s literally prepared to use it to attack. I don’t know about you but we know Joyce and it’s not really her style to threaten non-threatening people with weapons. No matter how much she and Hopper argued in season 3, she didn’t pick up a knife to make him do what she wanted.

And then, we’ve got Will. Sadly, we never saw the two interact on screen (love me some family drama and trauma!). Will is the most timid kid you ever did see. I explained my family situation to you guys early for this very purpose, Will is trying to do what me and my brother did.

When I was younger, I was terrified of rejection from my dad. I did whatever he wanted to do to “have fun”. I watched what he watched. Went where he went. Never raised a major complaint to his face always afraid he’d disappear again or say aloud he didn’t want me. People pleaser to a fault. 

That is Will, but worse. He probably took on these traits not only because he’s afraid of rejection from his father (which has happened his entire life), but also doing or saying the wrong thing resulted in backlash from said father. Was it physical? I don’t know, I do get the feeling Will did not get nearly as physical as Jonathan and Joyce though.

Now that I’ve said all this, does this make Joyce weak? Does it make her a bad mother?

No! I don’t think so. Even if Lonnie sometimes physically abused her, it doesn’t mean she sat there and took it. Joyce is a small tiger. Despite her size, she will fight for herself and her kids and I’m 100% sure she did, which is why Lonnie “left”. (I have a headcanon that Joyce gave him an ultimatum and his punk ass couldn’t take it so he left thinking Joyce would come crawling back to him. Which maybe she did once or twice because she was desperate for financial stability)

Joyce needed Lonnie at some point for financial stability. That’s the only reason she kept him around at some point. When she didn’t need that anymore, she was done with him and the constant battles. Toxic relationship for sure for sure.

When people say Lonnie was a physical abuser, it isn’t to make the Byers seem weak willed or even to say they have to be protected. It’s an explanation as to why they are the way they are (Joyce and Jonathan are fighters, Will is a bit more timid). It doesn’t mean they laid down and took the abuse. It doesn’t mean we need to handle them like fragile sculptures.

It means the Byers are tough. If Lonnie is reintroduced, it would certainly be an antagonist force, but he would be met with suspicion and antagonism. Lonnie’s only route back into their life.... is people pleaser Will.

This is why I kinda want Lonnie back. Joyce and Jonathan are already firmly in the “screw you, I’ll fite you” camp, I want Will to be there to. The writers just need to give him the opportunity....

#stranger things #lonnie byers #joyce byers #will byers #jonathan byers #theory

[animebitchpatton]

How the Karasuno characters would act while drunk at a party you threw

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪(This is my first time writing anything like this so please be considerate I am learninggggggg. I definitely am not condoning drinking I just thought it would be fun to write! I might continue this with some of the other teams!!!)♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

Tanaka: Let us be honest with ourselves for a second, Tanaka has gotten himself absolutely shitfaced. The boy is GONE gone. 

The man is smooth as hell, he lays it all on the line the second he sees you, but neither of you are sober enough to comprehend what is happening so you just kind of laugh at him thinking that he is trying to joke with you.

Drunk Tanaka thinks your laughter means you are into him, so he keeps you there for hours sweet talking your ear off.

DOES A KEG STAND TO IMPRESS YOU

Will punch any and every man that even dares to touch you in a less than appropriate way. Even when he is drunk Tanaka knows full well how to treat a woman, and he is absolutely not afraid to get physical real quick.

At the end of the night him and Noya will end up in your bathroom sobbing about how much they appreciate each others friendship. You will inevitably find them and have to drag the bromance out of the bathroom yourself.

Kageyama: This dense motherfucker doesn't know how to act when he is sober, so why would you think for one damn second he even remotely knows how to act when he is drunk?

The poor boy is stumbling everywhere. 

Absolutely will knock some of your family pictures down on accident. He will feel so bad and try to put them back up, but he will just knock more things over in the process and frustrate himself. 

Not to mention how much he is stuttering. He can barely form a cohesive sentence.

He will muster up the courage to ask you where the bathroom is, but he probably forgot what a bathroom was called, so it will go something like this:

¨H-hey, I was just looking around and I was just thinking that you could maybe lead me to the place that people... that people use to... you know like when nature calls and stuff...¨

You have to walk him to the bathroom yourself, like a toddler, because you are scared he will get lost and pee in your closet.

Fucking lightweight 

Yamaguchi: When he first arrives at the party, he is obviously glued to Tsukki. He is so scared to interact with people, especially strangers.

But get a few drinks in this boy and man, he will not shut up. He wants to talk to everyone, but his conversations are not annoying, they are genuinely uplifting.

Talking to Yamaguchi when he is drunk is always like the nice sober moment of the night, he is so genuine and down to earth that it is a nice break from the chaos of a party scene.

He turns into such a BIG MOUTH. He will tell you his entire life story. His hopes and dreams, his aspirations, the hardships he has been through, literally EVERYTHING. 

Sometimes he will also tell you Tsukki’s entire life story too (unfortunately for Tsukki.) He especially likes to tell his extremely embarrassing stories from when they were really young. 

This never goes over well with Tsukki...

Asahi: You may not believe it is possible, but drinking makes this boy even MORE SHY.

He tries not to talk out of fear that he will say something stupid, but you always get him to talk regardless. 

Spoiler alert: He always says something stupid.

He gets super warm when he drinks, which makes him the ideal couch cuddle buddy. 

He can get very overwhelmed in a party setting, and he gets anxious when he isn’t completely in control of his body. You often have to take him outside to cool down a few times, and these are the times when you get to see Asahi more himself than ever.

Make one flirty comment towards this boy and he is DONE. He will not be able to function for at least the next 10 minutes. 

He always makes sure to stay after the party to help clean up the mess.

Tsukishima: For the love of god does this bitch ever shut up? He is like Yamaguchi when he is drunk only more ANNOYING. He kinda funny doe.

Being his usual stoic self at the begining of the night, it takes him a while to feel comfortable. Once he does feel comfortable though... oh lawd watch out.

First off, he will roast the shit out of anyone and everyone. Absolutely no one is safe from his reign of terror. Kags gets it the worst though.

He probably called Tanaka an egg-headed bitch at least once or twice. (His actions had consequences.)

He often will pull random ass stunts in an attempt to be funny and will get himself hurt in the process. You will end up being the one who has to tend to his wounds and watch his ass so that it doesn’t happen again. 

He is a little chaotic, but it is nice to see him enjoying himself for once. 

CEO of not remembering what happened in the morning. 

Nishinoya: CHAOTIC DRUNK

The party really does not start until he walks in.

The ladies are absolutely crawling all over this one. He is a STUD. They cannot keep off of him.

Him and Tanaka compete to see who can do the longest keg stand. 

The absolutely UNMATCHED king of beer pong. You can try and beat him but you will never succeed. 

You can barely get him alone because everyone wants to hang with him, and you can see why. Mans really is the life of the party.

He does end up puking in your laundry basket tho.

(We already know where he has ended up by the end of the night.)

Daichi: UGH THIS BITCH (love him so much though, it is just that he is just a cheesy drunk)

So many dad jokes, it is absolutely unbearable. Like please sir, will you spare me a crumb of my sanity.

He is very cute when he is drunk though, and he will want to protect and take care of you. 

He will definitely come over early to help you prepare everything.

During the party he will keep everyone in check, especially the chaotic ones. (Looking at you Tanaka, Noya, Tsukki and Hinata.)

Yachi: Drunk girl who tells you that you are beautiful in the bathroom vibes.

She will literally complement anyone and everyone. Her only goal of the night is to make people smile.

SHE IS A WRECK THOUGH.

She is still so nervous around everyone and she does not want to say or do anything wrong. She ends up trying too hard to avoid this and becomes a rambling mess.

When she talks it is like a random stream of consciousness, but it is insanely wholesome.

Kiyoko has to take her on mini walks around the backyard to calm her nerves.

Hinata: He is the first person to break something.

He also probably is still trying to practice volleyball, because to this little man, the grind never stops.

The problem is he is trying to practice inside. That is how something gets broken. Daichi banishes him to the backyard.

He is stumbling all over trying to make friends, poor boy.

Drunk Hinata loves to dance. Like this bitch will BUSS TF DOWN at any given moment. He will back it up, and it is absolutely fat enough.

Eats all the snacks.

Throws up on the dance floor from a combination of snacks, alcohol, and constant throwing it back.

Kiyoko: Confident drunk. This bitch knows who she is. (As always)

She is always the best dressed at the party no matter what. She got everyone’s heads turning.

Tanaka and Noya fight for her attention all night, but never get it. She is too good for that.

Surprisingly, she is very social when she is drunk. She tries to get to know everyone.

Similar to Daichi, she keeps everyone in check and makes sure no one is making stupid decisions.

Has the best hangover remedies for sure. 

Sugawara: HA BITCH! YOU THOUGHT!

Suga doesn’t drink, DUH.

He is a sober man and he has sworn to stay that way for life.

This means he is always the designated driver and he makes sure everyone gets home safe. 

He does the party foul clean up, for example he cleans up Hinata’s dance floor puke.

He makes sure everyone is safe and not drinking too much.

Overall just everyone’s party guardian angel, but I mean it is Suga so I don’t think any of us expected less.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #tanaka #ryunosuke tanaka #kageyama #tobio kageyama #kageyama tobio #yamaguchi #tadashi yamaguchi #asahi #asahi azumane #tsukkishima kei #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #nishinoya #yu nishinoya #yū nishinoya #daichi #daichi sawamura #yachi #haikyuu yachi #hinata #hinata shōyō #hinata shoyo #kiyoko #kiyoko haikyuu #sugawara #sugawara koushi

[linkspooky]

Is the story in Owari no Seraph good? Heard it's just your average shonen manga.

Thank you for the question, anon! Owari no Seraph is not just “your average shonen manga” it’s THE AVERAGE SHONEN MANGA, it is every single average shonen manga ever combined into one and that’s why I love it.  I might as well turn this into a reccomendation post to answer your question.

You Should Read Owari no Seraph

Owari no Seraph is like several different shonen manga sewn together in a horrible frankenstein’s monster, but once again as I often say on this blog tropes are not bad things. They’re all about the execution. Owari no Seraph is like, one of five exorcism/demon fighting manga published by shueisha right now (Chainsawman, Kimetsu no Yaiba, Jujutsu Kaisen, Ao no Exorcist, Owari no Seraph). It stands out by raising the stakes as high as they can possibly go, it has no reservations at all over the fact that it’s a tropey, pulp, nightmare. It knows exactly what it is and just tells it’s story anyway. 

So here are a few things I like about the manga that make me want to reccomend it. 

1. The World

The worldbuilding of Owari no Seraph sounds like it was made up on the spot. This is coming from someone who has read the entire manga through twice, and every single english translation available of the spinoff novels. It basically goes like this, there are exorcists who fight demons with magical swords. Then there are vampires but they’re way too strong for an exorcist to ever defeat. Demons are former humans, or maybe former vampires. Eventually the exorcists learn to put demons in swords and allow them to possess you. The world ends because of things called seraphs which are children that were experimented on to turn them into angels to call the end of the world. 

It’s basically a mythology where every single supernatural creature exists simulatenously. It reminds me a lot of the Buffy mythos, where all sorts of supernatural creatures exist and vampires sort of just reign supreme as the strongest. 

While it is kind of a mess, it works well for the story. It basically creates a world where literally everything is out to kill humans, and the humans themselves can just barely fight back. It makes humans seem even more smaller and insignificant in the world they are inhabiting because there are just so many types of magical creatures that are infinitely stronger than them. 

What I love about the exorcists in this manga is how physically weak they are. Literally no matter what desperate strategy they pull, even if they are a once in a generation genius, or from some kind of chosen bloodline, every single character in the manga is desperate to survive at any time. No victory is ever achieved without tons of losses. The characters backs are perpetually against the wall. 

The exorcists really do come off like underdogs just trying to survive the extinction of humanity, because the world of magic is just so overwhelming and unknowable to the human characters. It’s like if the world exploded and every single fantasy creature came to life at once, and they all hated humans and wanted to stamp them out. 

Another thing I like about the vampires is that they’re not X Men. Sometimes when writing vampires authors just make them X Men, as in rather than being vampires themselves they just all have some kind of mutant power like flame conjuring or shapeshifting. The vampires are at the top of the hierarchy in this world because of their sheer strength alone, each one of them is a powerhouse of raw strength. 

2. Yuichiro Hyakuya

Yu’s character is interesting because it’s so weird and offputting but only if you read far enough in the manga to realize why. Yu’s attitude is something that is eventually deconstructed to horrifying effect much later on in the manga.  People often call him a boring shonen protagonist who only cares about fighting and friendship, but to me he’s always been more like Gon. That is a deconstruction of the “Pure-Hearted Hero” protagonist. 

Yuichiro tends to naturally attract people around him, especially damaged and lost people because of how accepting and trusting he is. The problem is Yu is able to accept everything because you get the sense that he doesn’t care. He just doesn’t even think about or consider the consequences of his actions at all, or even how his actions will affect other people.

Yu cares about the people he considers family and that’s it. The rest of the world might as well not even exist. And this is never once framed as a good trait. Yu just doesn’t think at all before he does something, and it’s not even him being stupid it’s him being suicidally reckless. He just kind of assumes that if he wants it everything should work out in his favor.

It’s gotten to the point where people around him are constantly bringing up the consequences of some of the reckless things he wants to try and he just shrugs it off. Somebody warns him reviving the dead is a bad idea, and he just says “but I want my family back.” He trusts and allies himself with complete enemies if he thinks it can return his loved ones to him. 

Yu doesn’t actually trust anyone. He just has the part of his brain where he distrusts people completely shut off. His complete and total blind faith in people ends up becoming a bad trait because as much as it brings his comrades closer to him, you get the sense that he just doesn’t care what happens in the end. As the manga progresses what seems like a typically all loving hero just becomes more and more distant from other people. The fact that he trusts without question is presented as something that makes him seem inhuman.

3. Shinoa Hiragi

Owari no Seraph is one fo the few manga where the female of the main character trio is just as connected and important to the plot as the two boys. Shinoa’s arc about learning to love and trust people also works because she was raised in a family with no love at all that only ever saw her as a tool.

Shinoa is probably the most complex of the main three characters because she engages with everyone behind a mask, but she’s also not a perfect actress. What’s great about her is that she’s flawed, she’s kind of a mess. Unlike her older sister who can manipulate anyone flawlessly, Shinoa is much more human behind the mask and has a difficult time repressing it. 

Shinoa’s arc is as central to the story as Yu’s. However she’s also his opposite and a good complement to him because while Yu is wild and reckless Shinoa is reserved and overly cautious. It’s not a fear of being weak in the same way Yu is afraid to be weak, what Shinoa fears is being out of control. However because she’s not the genius her sister is for Shinoa she only ever really has the illusion of control over situations. 

It’s a female character where basically the entire conflict of her character revolves around her agency, and trying to be her own person separate from her sister. Which is so rare for female characters to be that well developed and present such an interesting conflict. Which is another thing I likie about ONS, it’s a mishmash of tropes but it always uses those tropes very smartly. She fits in so well with the series because basically everyone in the series knows they’re already doomed and we see how each of them cope with it and struggle against it. 

4. Guren Ichinose 

Guren is hands down not only the most complicated character in the series, and also one of the best mentor characters of all time, he’s also where the excellent moral ambiguity of the series itself shines the brightest. Guren is basically the second protagonist of the series at this point because he has his own light novel spinoff and is just as important to the plot as Yu. 

What makes Guren compelling is that he’s not a bad guy at all, but he ends up committing some of the worst deeds in the manga. It once again solidifies the theme that life is more complex than bad people do bad things, sometimes in fact good people do a bad. Guren is great because he’s always one person who is basically struggling against the whole world, and sometimes you get the sense he wants to destroy it because that’s the only way he can throw his burdens off of him. 

But at the same time, this cold blooded guy whose constantly doing terrible things, and is desperate and hungry for power really is just a person who wants his friends to be safe and happy. Guren is someone whose lost literally everything to an uncaring world, his family, his close friends, his lover, he’s also been kicked on and stamped down his entire life. You understand why Guren would end up becoming such a selfish person because literally the world has always told him that he doesn’t deserve to be in it, he’s not a part of this story.

It’s like the struggling of a side character whose not even involved in the plot forcing their way in and trying to be the main character. Guren is so much weaker than everything around him, but he’ll keep fighting. And it’s amazing when Guren does literally every single thing, sacrifices everything, throws away everything and then he still fails in the end. That’s what makes his character compelling because he never gets what he wants no matter how desperately he struggles but he still keeps on fighting. 

His foiling with Yu is also incredible, and you get the sense that Guren is a worse person because he actually cares about things unlike Yu who is so reckless and doesn’t even think about the consequences of his actions.

5. The Conflict

Here’s how the manga starts. The world ends. You’ve been enslaved for several years by vampires that suck your blood. You finally escape but all of your family that was introduced died in the first chapter.

It’s overload but yet, Owari no Seraph always manages to keep these stakes consistent. It’s a manga that actually feels like the characters are struggling at the end of the world. Literally every single person there is past the point of no return in one way or another, and yet they keep fighting.

Which is what makes every fight fresh and compelling to read. Because the main characters don’t even win that often, or if they do win it’s a minor victory that’s evened out later by some loss. Every battle is for survival, not gaining territory. Which really helps along the themes of the story as well to create this picture of a severely broken world, where individual people are all desperate to band together to survive. 

The story itself also never grows stale or stagnant because things are constantly developing and changing around. You never feel one arc drags on too long. Because every single faction is just trying to survive, enemies from yesterday will become allies today and you end up getting to understand the perspective of each faction. 

If you can get past the premise, the manga is actually pretty grounded. Most of the emotional stakes comes from the connection between the characters and the fear of losing them, and that’s the primary focus of the story. It’s about inhuman tragedy and circumstances, and a world that’s so fantastical it’s almost impossible to believe, but there are humans still in the middle of it trying to survive and live even though their lives are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. 

#Anonymous #ons meta #owari no seraph #manga req #spooky speaks #metasks #yuuichirou hyakuya #guren ichinose #shinoa hīragi

[knjoodles]

mismatched pages; jimin x reader

pairing: writer!jimin x writer!reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 1.2K

summary: you love writing. it’s your passion, it’s what you dream to do forever. up until you find out the guy you really like also happens to be the guy who’s stealing your ideas. then it sucks.

lowercase intended.

02 (a lot longer than this first chapter)

“shit!” you exclaimed, tumbling out of your dorm and into the hallway. you were 15 minutes late to class, and it takes 15 minutes to walk there. you stood in front of the elevator, tapping your foot out of pure terror and nerve. “okay,” you said to yourself, “elevator’s not fast. stairs, stairs!” you whipped towards the stairwell on the other side of the hall and dashed towards them, scurrying down the stairs and nearly tripping over at least twice. 

once you reached the ground floor, you let yourself take a breather. “i need to get back into shape.” you groaned, rubbing your temples before adjusting the uncomfortable way your sock was sitting on your foot and, again, setting off to run to your class. “fuck!” you muttered. “dr. yang is going to kick my ASS!”

thanks to the cup of iced latte you downed in ten minutes, your body running on pure adrenaline, and that leftover chinese from last night, you reached your class in 7 minutes. embarrassed that you were out of breath, you spent about 30 seconds catching it before walking in.

you opened the door slowly so to not be embarrassed about your entire class eyeing you for being late and were nicely surprised as none of them even bat an eye at you. dr. yang, your professor, raised his eyebrows at you and motioned for you to make your way over to his desk before starting your classwork.

“(y/n),” he said, “can you explain to me why you were late?”

“i, um,” you fiddled with the corner of your jacket and made eye contact with him; eye contact that was way too direct to not be awkward. “i stayed up last night working on the project you assigned, and then i went to sleep late. i woke up 40 minutes ago and realized how late i was. i'm sorry, it won’t happen again.”  you bowed.

dr. yang sighed, laying down the stack of papers he was filing and looked up at you. “(y/n), why are you working so hard?”

personally? you were stunned by that question. you never imagined in all your life that a teacher would ask you that question. 

“i mean, i assigned that a week ago! it’s due at the end of the semester!” he chuckled, shocked that you’d start that early. 

“but sir, everyone else has started!” you argued, trying justify why you slept at 5 a.m. last night. 

“well, has this ‘everyone else’ stayed up so late that they’re late to the class that the grade is for?” dr. yang queried. “(y/n). i don’t want to discourage hard work and hard working people, but you already excel in this class. you don’t need to do this, and?  it’s better if you don’t. you should live your life the way you want to, but please, if not for you than for your teacher, let yourself rest.”

you were appalled to say the least. you could barely say a word; your teacher just told you to stop working so hard? “i,”  you started, forgetting how to form coherent sentences. “i understand, dr. yang.”

“good. now, if you were here for the first 20-something minutes of class, you’d know that there were two assignments today.” he teased as he stood up. “one assignment was to work on the semester project. but, i knew some people like you would be almost completely done with that. so, i created the second assignment: an in-class assignment, which doubles as me entering my students in a contest. you must write up a fully original short story. it can be about anything you like, any theme you want, any genre, etc. then, once it has been proofread by another student, it’ll be read by a panel of judges, who’ll be judging short stories from all over the world. the top ten writers will then move on to a sequel competition. the top three writers will be awarded a large sum of money, and, if one of my students wins, they will earn 30% extra credit on their final exam. it’s one of the toughest writing competitions out there, so great achievements deserve great rewards. and, everything will be done-” he paused, looking at you.

“wow,” you exclaimed, feeling like the wind was knocked out of you. 30% extra credit on your final exam? that’s so many points, you could drown in them. “that sounds amazing, im so glad you’re giving us this opportunity to-“

“-in partners.” he finished, watching your eyes grow like saucers and your jaw drop ever so slightly.

“in... in partners?” you stumbled over your words. ideas for this were already flying through your head. but now you have to work with someone else? in a class where you only talk to two other people? who you’ve known since you were in middle school? 

“yes!” dr. yang hummed, ridding the whiteboard of tiny marks. “but, partners have already been chosen. fortunately, there’s someone else who thought they could get by by themselves.”

“sir, im not sure if i want to-"

“park jimin. he’ll be your partner.” dr. yang turned to you and smiled, placing his whiteboard eraser rag in a drawer and sitting back down in his chair.

“park jimin? you mean, that park jimin?” you motioned over to a man sitting with his nose so close to his laptop, his face was basically part of it.

“do you know any other park jimins in this class?” dr. yang asked, opening his laptop to reply to emails. “get to introducing yourself. he thinks he’s working by himself too.”

with dr. yang quite literally shoo-ing you away with silence and a hand wave, you realized that park jimin was probably going to have to be your best friend until the end of the year. and so you set off, racing up the stairs of your lecture hall, making a beeline for jimin. “excuse me?”

“mhm?” he hummed, turning to you. it would be an understatement to say that it was a change of scenery and what you thought he looked like. you barely saw him; the times you did look at him, his face was masked by his laptop. and the rest of the time, you didn’t really pay attention to him. now, getting a chance to get a good look at him, you studied his features. he had a very attractive facial structure, with high cheekbones and plump lips. his hair was a sleek black color, which really complemented his outfit of beige and dusty blue. you noted how sharp his nose was and how nicely his eyes were shaped. this made life a little easier. at least he wasn’t an eyesore. 

“hi, i'm (y/n).” you held out your hand, which he stared at for a couple seconds before getting the memo that he was supposed to shake it.

“hi, (y/n),” he smiled, clasping your hand with both of his and giving a firm handshake. “do you need something from me? do you need me to write your essay for you?” he giggled.

“no,” you laughed awkwardly. “about the second assignment, the contest one?”

“yeah?” he nodded, resting his head in his right hand.

“dr. yang assigned us as partners, so here i am!”

“dr. yang assigned us as-” he paused to laugh to himself. “him letting me go solo that easily sounded too good to be true.”

a pang of embarrassment washed over you. “i mean, if you don’t want to work with me-”

“no, no! it’s not that at all,” he assured you, pulling over the chair next to him and motioning for to sit down. “i knew he’d do something like this was what i was saying. nothing against you. i’ve just met you!” 

“that's good to know, i guess,” you smiled. “i know that you’re really creative, so maybe later today we can go to a library and bounce ideas off each other?”

“why don’t i treat you to lunch and get to know you better?” he asked. from how introverted he acted in class, you never expected that he’d be so social from the get-go. “i know this really good café only a 10 minute drive from here.”

“well, if you insist,” you said, his smile overtaking any sort of anxiety you felt. you rubbed your thumb on top of your palm in excitement. in huge contrast to high-school, you’re not too social right now.

“great. meet me in front of ginam hall and then we can go!” jimin promised before turning back to his laptop to work on whatever he was on his laptop.

you awkwardly stood up. was that it? dr. yang directly told you to start working on your project after he lectured you. you waited for a solid minute, quietly chewing on your lip and expecting that jimin would offer to share ideas or something. 

anything?

“uh, jimin?” you blurted, the weight of your uncomfortableness outweighing your patience at that point. he turned and raised his eyebrows, lowering his laptop screen and laying his hand on the table.

“yup?” he asked, crossing his legs.

“did dr. yang not tell you our project starts now? like we have to work on it today?” 

“he didn’t say we had to work on it together, today! see it this way, we both brainstorm some deas for our story; plan it out, write down a summary of the plot, make like three of them. then, when we meet up in the library when both of our classes are over we can 

you almost imploded at this idea. it wasn’t  bad or anything, but three plot ideas? three of them? and who said that we were meeting up after lunch? you thought jimin’s replacement for meeting up at the library was lunch! you didn’t sign up for two. “i, um,” you stuttered. “i guess that’s alright?”

jimin beamed, the large round ceiling lights making his eyes glitter. “great! i’ll see you at 12:15 at ginam, right?”

“mhm!” you hummed, flashing him a frail smile and giving two thumbs up before turning around and skittering to your partners in crime, jung hyeyeon and kang jaehyun.

“since when do you talk to park jimin?” hyeyeon pondered, drumming her fingers against the gray of her macbook. 

“yeah, that was weird.” jaehyun nodded. 

“stop it!” you silently scolded, sitting down in between them and fishing out your laptop, letting your bag drop under the desk and on the floor. “it’s ‘cause dr. yang put us in a group since him and i are almost completely finished with our semester project.”

“seriously? is that why you were late?” jaehyun gawked. “i could barely find a topic to report on! how did you finish so fast?”

“i mean, i'm not done done,” you explained, waving your hands as you waited for your laptop to load your project. “i just need someone to proofread so i can make edits. then i'm done.”

“so basically, you’re done.” hyeyeon snickered. “but you and jimin…” she nudged you with her elbow, raising her eyebrows.

“oh, come on!” you laughed. “don’t even start with that. i’ve known him for literally 10 minutes.”

“you guys wouldn’t even look bad!” hyeyeon defended herself, spinning on her chair in jaehyun’s direction. “right, jaehyun?”

“she isn’t wrong,” jaehyun agreed, spinning his pencil with his fingers. “it wouldn’t be ugly.”

“i only know his face and his name. it’s not like i know all of his deep, dark secrets or something. lay off, please?” you half laughed, half begged. 

“fine, fine,” hyeyeon raised her hands in defeat and scuttled her way back to her desk on her swivel chair. “we’ll shut up.” 

you turned your head to the other side of the room to look at jimin, typing away on his computer. you smiled to yourself, thinking about how, as different as you thought the two of you were, you were actually quite similar.

how nice.

#kpop #bts #bts masterlist #bts series #bts au #bts oneshot #bts drabble #bts reaction #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #park jimin #bts jimin #jimin #jimin fluff #jimin angst #jimin smut #jimin x reader #bts x reader #kpop icons #kpop masterlist #kpop bios #kpop rp #kpop roleplay #namjoon #seokjin #yoongi #hoseok #taehyung #jungkook

[thefragileblackdahlia]

Blink Twice if You’re Okay

Chapter Summary

Finally, a sunny day for vacationing, Ariel suggests the crew should head to Bora Bora. Sam and Ariel have some alone time.

Pairing(s): MOC!Soulmate!Lucifer x Ariel, Platonic! Sam x Ariel

Warning(s): Implied R*pe, HEAVY Angst, Mild Language

A/N: Here is my filler episode. I am really excited about it because it's the first chapter/episode where I have a free creative range. Sam x Ariel content. Let's see what I can do! Also, feedback is appreciated.

Beta'd by no one

Word count: 6,954

OUTFIT 1  OUTFIT 2

Hi before anyone goes into this chapter, I wanted to put a trigger warning for R*pe. It isnt heavily detailed but I just wanted to let you lovely people know. If you ever need anyone to talk to just message me or leave a comment and i will message you. ♥ There will be another TW further in the chapter just in case some of you skip this long-ass warning.

Ariel stood in the motel window, watching the people pass by. 

Days like these, she really missed Castiel and her many other angel companions. It was wrong of her to abandon her garrison, but what 'Heaven' stood for was not right, and the Winchesters deserved better. 

Humans deserved better.

The archangel decided to read a book called 'Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.' It was a lovely book about a prepubescent boy and his destiny. She felt like the Winchesters could relate, defeating a rising evil and saving the world. 

Ariel slammed the book closed once she heard a breathy voice come from the motel room entrance.

"Morning, Ariel. Have you been up all night?" The voice asked.

"Angels don't sleep, I've told you this." She put it. The woman turned to set her eyes on where the voice came from. It was from Sam, coming in from a morning jog. 

A small smile formed on her lips. She was fond of Sam, and his big decision to end his demonic activities made it easier to look at him. His soul lightened by a tremendous amount, and it was almost as if he could be his own sun.

"So like you're always awake? What is that like?" Sam questioned. 

This was probably the longest he and Ariel had a conversation. He wasn't dumb, he noticed that she always avoided looking at him like his presence was a disease. It made him feel already closer to being a monster, but he was sure she was doing it for a better reason.

Ariel just let out a small giggle and made her way across the room to sit on Sam's bed. "It's not like anything if you have never experienced sleep before. And it isn't like I will ever be close to being human because of my grace, it basically refills." She paused and fixed her gaze on the wall mirror across from Sam's bed. 

"Being an archangel has its perks, but the closest to being human I can get is being empathetic and participating in activities. Like eating, drinking, and sex." Ariel concluded.

The tall hunter peeped his head out of the bathroom when she mentioned sex. He began talking with his toothbrush still in his mouth. "Wait, Angels have sex?" Sam had a slight look of amusement and disbelief.

Ariel glanced over at Dean, who was stirring in his sleep. Man, he was still asleep? The ginger nodded. "It isn't permitted," She returned her gaze back to Samuel. "But the rebellious angels do..." Her voice drifted as she thought about all those years of Angels rebelling and her having to execute them. 

"I wouldn't really know..." She added

Rushing water filled the silence momentarily, followed by spitting and then more silence. The brunette male leaned himself against the door frame. He didn't have an immediate response to that, so he just examined her and picked apart her vessel's features. 

It was decorated in freckles and beauty marks. Her eyes were a crystal blue and her lashes were long which complemented the round shape. Ariel's entire being was very alluring.

Sam cleared his throat and started, "What are you reading?-"

Ariel cut Sam off. "Do you guys usually sit around and wait for a case?"

Dean's groggy voice came from her side. "You got a better idea?" He ridiculed while rolling over onto his back and stretching. 

"You both talk too much. Have you not heard of sleep?" Dean snapped.

"Well, no one told you to go to the bar and drink yourself half to death." Sam countered while taking a seat next to the celestial being. 

The gentle giant had many more questions to ask Ariel, but not around Dean. He just wanted to know everything she knew and if he could redeem himself.

The 30-year-old man groaned as he moved to the edge of the bed. "Yeah, well, sue me for having fun." He drawled while sitting up.

This comment made Ariel cringe. 

The idea of drinking yourself under the table and flirting with an endless amount of women, being fun, was an overstatement. Not too long ago, she and Dean were sucking face in Jack's house, and nearly two weeks later, they were strangers again. 

Ariel avoided Dean as much as she could, and whenever Sam tried to get them to talk, it backfired.

"We could vacation." Ariel suggested.

Sam clenched his jaw at Dean's inconsiderate response. Maybe Ariel didn't sleep or eat, but she did display some emotions. She cried, laughed, and obviously, she loves. He hated how clueless his brother could be.

"Yeah, let's just hop on a flight to Bora Bora. Oh, wait, with what money? We barely had enough to stay at the motel." Dean queried. He knew what he was doing, pushing Ariel away. 

Feelings are what Dean tried to avoid in this life, but Ariel made it so much harder for him. Whenever she was around him, he felt the need to protect and hold her in his arms, and he wasn't sure if she had the same feeling.

Ariel scoffed and gestured to her back. "Did you forget that I have wings, dumbass? I can fly us there and maybe whip up some clothes but that's about it."

"Hanging out at the beach actually sounds nice, Dean." Sam interjected. 

Maybe bathing in the sun could take his mind off things, or perhaps it would give him the personal time with Ariel he wanted. The hazel-eyed hunter pressed his lips into a thin line and glanced over at Ariel, who was just waiting for a response. 

"Or...We could go without you." Sam added, which earned a questioning look from both Ariel and Dean.

That suggestion made Ariel's heart flutter. Alone with Sam? She never thought about it, but now that she has, she didn't object.

Dean's face contorted to the thought of his brother alone with Ariel. He hesitated before speaking. He was not good for Ariel, maybe Sam could give it a shot. Sam was smarter and more considerate. 

"Sure, Go ahead. I'll just go to Bobby's," Dean asserted, nonchalantly.

Ariel could tell it bothered him, she could sense the tension in the air, and it only made her want to leave. 

Their unhealthy dynamic and the fighting, somehow, she was always in the middle of two brothers. That is how it started, and that was how her story would inevitably end. 

"Alright." She mumbled before disappearing.

Sam was about to address Ariel, but she just up and left. He immediately looked at his brother and shook his head. 

"You ignore her for weeks...she offers a vacation day in Bora Bora, and you act like an ass. " Sam scolded.

 Now Sam had to find the archangel, apologize for Dean and possibly give her a hug for Dean. The tall being pushed himself off of the dingy motel bed and started for the door.

This radical reaction made Dean angry. "What- I mean, you're practically taking her on a date." He paused. "Why not just kiss her in front of me- Lay her down gently and go to town." The bow-legged hunter stepped to Sam as he spoke.

It was obvious Dean was jealous, but Dean literally had the opportunity to take Ariel to the beach and enjoy a day in relaxation, but he fucked that up moments ago. Sam took a minute to think and then just grabbed his coat and scoffed. 

"Y'know. With you acting like this- maybe I will." Sam sneered and left the room to search for their angel friend.

Dean was taken aback by his brother's forwardness. He did not expect him to say something like that, which meant Dean really messed up. The surly hunter stood in the doorway as he watched his brother leave.

Fuck.

LATER

A soft rustling sound filled the air.

"Samuel? I bought us swimwear!" Ariel exclaimed as she arrived in the motel room. Her eyes darted around in hopes of finding the tall man, but all she was met with was silence and a glowering look from Dean. "Sam?"

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. "He went out- looking for you." He slammed the lore book closed and grabbed his duffle bag. 

Just then, Sam entered with a case of beer.

"Hey, I couldn't find Ariel, but- Hey, where'd you go? I looked everywhere for you." Sam asked with a laugh. He searched everywhere for her, the diner, the pool he even stole a car and drove to the strip mall, yet here she was, standing in the room with her arms full of clothes.

"What's all this? Where'd you get the money?" Sam chuckled.

Ariel smiled and wigged the bunch of pool noodles. "Clothes! I saw in the movies that people bring a big wardrobe on vacation, even if it's for a few days. I also picked out swimwear. I wasn't sure what your favorite color was- because I know humans become peeved when you forget their favorite things. Like when I forgot Dean's favorite pie flavor-" She started rambling.

"Ariel?" Dean cut her off.

Ariel glanced at Dean, "huh?"

Dean shoved his arm's into his leather jacket. "You're rambling."

"Sorry, I'm just excited. Angels were never allowed to come to earth, and the only beach adjacent place I visited was The Garden of Eden...and when I was there- Lucifer-he uh. " Ariel stared off into the distance, her nails softly digging into the plastic bags.

She tried to fight the impending flashback, but it won.

"Why do you love them and not me? Those apes are flawed beyond comprehension, but us, Little one- We're perfect. You're supposed to love me. We are soul mates!" Lucifer rutted his body against Ariel's, a loud cry erupting from her throat.

The archangel cleared her throat and looked at Sam who's brows were furrowed. "Nothing good happened to me when I was in the Garden. So sue me for looking forward to one good day." She muttered, with her hands visibly shaking.

Her words silenced the boys. Sam was fascinated by how old she was. And Dean was bothered by the fact that Lucifer had done something to her. 

The Garden was supposed to be this sacred place. God was supposed to be watching over everything, right? How could God of all beings let that happen to her? Dean felt like an asshole.

Sam clenched his jaw and sat the beer down on the tv stand. "It's okay, here gimme that." He stretched for the bag of swimwear but recoiled when he saw Ariel flinch. 

What could Lucifer have done that scarred an Archangel of the lord?

"No, it's okay. Let's go, I want to go." Ariel breathed and grabbed the toys and the beer. "Bye, Dean. See you tomorrow." The redhead smiled wanly at the older Winchester.

"Have fun." Was the last thing the two heard before Ariel transported them to the Resort.

LOBBY 

They arrived in the resort lobby: Conrad Bora Bora Nui.

"A little warning there next time." Sam laughed from the ground. 

The male was buried underneath many plastic bags. He let out a low groan and gestured to the front desk concierge, "Go check us in our room while I gather this stuff."

"I've never interacted with...other humans before, I mean- I never spoke to anyone else. Even at the store I just gave them the money." Ariel whispered while kneeling by Sam's head. 

The only humans she interacted with were at the store, and that didn't go too well. They asked her if she were a robot and why she was dressed like the 70s 'threw up on her.' She did not like that.

"Here, it's okay, just help me up, and I will book it," The long-haired hunter tossed the things aside as he saw Ariel stretch her hand out for him to grab. He grasped her hand and pulled himself up. 

"Thanks."

Ariel grabbed the clothes and whipped up suitcases out of thin air for their clothes. She looked down at her attire. With a thought, the woman was now dressed in a short, red sundress. She smoothed down her now straight hair and glanced up in time to see Sam ogling her.

"Here, You look like you just came from a marathon- maybe this would suit you better." Ariel murmured as she snapped her fingers and changed Sam's clothes. He now wore a Hawaiian button-up with pale gray shorts and male sandals. 

Sam snorted and looked down at his outfit.

The hunter appreciated the gesture, but he felt more comfortable in his running clothes. He didn't want Ariel to use up all her grace just to have him in some fancy luxurious person clothes. 

"This is a bit much, don't you think?"

Why did the Winchesters never accept anything good? It bothered her. 

Ariel gave the human a small pat on the arm. "It's okay. I want the full experience. I saw that people dress like this in the movies."

"Really?" Sam chuckled at Ariel's ignorance. It was a delight to be with a celestial being that had no idea how humans worked. He wondered if all angels were like this. 

"Let's go." Sam murmured while taking his hand in hers and pulling her toward the front desk.

PRESIDENTIAL DELUXE SUITE

Once the two were situated in their suite, Sam strolled out on the balcony of the Villa and spotted Ariel, leaning over the edge. She looked at peace with her red hair blowing in the breeze. 

If someone had told Sam years ago that he would be in the Bahamas with an Archangel, he would have told them that they were crazy. 

Ariel shifted onto her other foot and glanced over her shoulder at the hunter standing by the doorway. "Thanks for coming with me, Sam."

"You don't have to thank me, who would pass up the Bahamas? I mean, I like researching, but I guess I kinda needed a break." As he chatted, he inched closer to his speaking partner. 

Sam perched himself on the wooden railing, next to the woman, and resumed talking. "I- I kinda wanted to get you alone, so I could talk to you about...me? I mean, I want to know more about you too." He rambled.

"Sam, It's okay. I already know." Ariel laughed at Sam's nervousness and placed a light hand on the human's forearm. 

This sweet gesture caused Sam to tense up. He wasn't used to someone other than Ruby touching him, and to have an Angel caress him, it made him uneasy. Ariel overlooked Sam's body language and flashed him an alluring smile. 

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything," Sam replied and moved closer to her. A small voice in his head screamed at him to move the hell away from her, but he couldn't. There was something about her energy that drew him in, and Sam felt safe. He knew that he was in good hands, and he'd be damned if he would let something like this fall into the hands of someone else.

Ariel slowly pulled her hand back and motioned over to the white sofa on the deck. "Well, there isn't much I can tell you." She paused and plopped down on the cushion and patted the spot next to her. "But from what I do know, we should sit."

The tall being shuffled over to the couch and cautiously planted himself next to the angel. He fiddled with his fingers and kept his gaze on Ariel.

"Okay, well as far as I know and what I've been told by my older brother- is that you have been trying to track down Lilith and you've been using your powers but- You're drinking demon blood...that stuff is bad Sam."

Ariel moved her hand onto Sam's and gripped it tightly as she told him all she knew. "I know you mean well, but nothing good will come of this if you sacrifice your humanity just to kill one demon." She paused. "You tell yourself, it's to save people but if you have to risk the light in you, then does the end really justify your means?"

Sam averted his gaze once she brought up the blood-drinking. He was saving people. That was all that went through his mind when he thought about using his powers. It was the only way he could cope.

 "I... what she did to Dean- She's breaking the seals and you're telling me you don't want her dead? I can kill her, I just have to get strong and then I can kill her." Sam choked out.

Ariel regarded the man with an expression that was inscrutable when Sam spoke. 

It took him a while to gather the courage to look Ariel's way, he felt like the dam behind his eyes was going to collapse at any second.

"You remind me of someone..." The angel whispered. 

Ariel recommenced, "Sam, this isn't the way to go, and if you continue down this path...I cannot promise you I will stay to protect you."

"Y'know, I can perceive the human soul and yours is very, very bright." Ariel raised her palm to the hunter's face and cupped his cheek. The agony emanating off of his being overwhelmed her and drowned her. She could feel her chest tightening with every breath.

"It's beautiful." The archangel murmured before moving incredibly closer and shifting onto her knees. Ariel raised her fingertips to Sam's temples and sent surges of her grace into him. She wanted him to see what she saw.

The hunter could feel the tears coming and just as Ariel sent the surge of grace, they fell over the precipice. Samuel's eyes glazed over, resembling Ariel's grace-charged eyes. 

Sam's face contorted as she sent the many images of himself into his mind.  His eyes darted from side to side as he saw himself but behind there was a bright, nearly blinding light behind his figure. His ears perked once he heard her dulcet voice.

"You could be your own sun, that's how bright it is. So don't worry about some darkness within you, there is none. You and your crusade, to kill Lilith- It leads to darkness." Ariel whispered.

This exchange was intimate for them. 

There was a long pause before Sam pulled Ariel into a crushing embrace. He nuzzled his head against her neck, tears streaming down his face. 

Sam could not for the life of him tell what it was about this strange woman except that she just reminded him of something, someone, of Jessica. If Sam could see Jessica in her, he only wondered who Dean saw in her. Maybe mom?

"You can't be real." He whispered. Samuel's hold on her tightened tremendously. "Someone like you can't be real." The troubled man repeated, more for himself than her.

"I am real and I'll be here for a long time...I hope." Ariel smiled and gave her human companion a kiss on his forehead. She lingered until her vessel reminded her of Dean. 

Dean, Ariel missed him. She missed comforting him and watching the stars. A soft buzz filled her ears. 

Sam sniffled and lightly nudged the angel. "Sorry- Okay, so, tell me about you. You must be very old. I'm guessing 5 billion years old."

"Close, but no cigar. I'm 10 billion years old give or take a few. Thanks for making me feel old." Ariel playfully pushed Sam away, which was followed by a small sigh. 

This caught Sam's attention.

Sam looked out to the sea, watching the sunset. "Was it lonely?"

"Not at first... I have- well, had four brothers; they are also Archangels. There's Gabriel, Raphael... He did this to me." She gesticulated to the scars that were now fading. 

"Then, Michael, he is the oldest. He says I ruin everything."

Ariel gave a sad laugh and shifted in her seat. She turned to her side, raised her legs, and laid them across Sam's lap. Then, she relaxed her head on the back cushion. 

"Y'know how a younger sibling comes in and knocks over all the blocks..."

Sam chuckled at her analogy. "Yeah, I think I get it. Sounds like a horrible family." He fixed his hazel-eyes on her sapphire eyes. 

When she got down to the last name, her eyes seemed to gloss over. It wasn't often Ariel cried or showed any other emotions besides joy or anger, but Sam did notice when she disassociated. 

Sam laid his hands on her calves, and he gave them a small squeeze to let her know he was listening.

"Then there's Lucifer..." Ariel breathed. Just saying his name made her wings tense up.

Sam started. "We can talk about movies if you want-"

Ariel shook her head and chuckled. "No, it's okay. I'd rather tell you than Dean. He...would not handle it well." She paused and began telling her story. 

"Father, he made me a part of Lucifer and So that sort of made us more than just archangels created by the same thing." Ariel pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself.

The celestial being fingered the frills on her dress hem, sadness clouding her features. "Him and I, we were God's favorites. We were left alone most of the time. We were a pair- two peas in a pod...but then one day that changed." 

 "Well, It started with the conception of you- humans. I was okay with not being a prized possession, but Lucifer..." Ariel's voice cracked.

"So, when Lucifer wanted me to rebel, begging me to join...I said no. He said I was a part of him and that he didn't need permission..." Ariel closed her eyes and shook her head once she began having flashbacks of The Garden.

Trigger Warning: Implied R*pe (read with caution) Please do not progress if this may trigger you. After this flashback, there will be a short summary of what happened.

FLASHBACK

The sun beamed down on the greenery, morning dew trickling down the blades of grass. In the distance, there were animals grazing.

"Gadreel, please!" A disembodied voice came from somewhere near the Garden.

"I cannot, you know the rules. I'm sorry, Little one." Gadreel held his military position as he eyed the girl in front of him. 

It was Ariel.

"I am so much older than you, not fair of you to call me that. Please, I promise I won't do anything. They're arguing again...I just want to be alone with the trees." Ariel pleaded with the guardian angel.

Gadreel opened his mouth to speak but stopped, his face contorting. A line appeared between his brows as his eyes darted from the archangel to heavenward. He seemed to be listening to something or someone but Ariel couldn't discern who.

"Maybe don’t go in the garden today..."  Gadreel whispered. 

Ariel was taken aback by his anxiousness. "Why not? You would let me in any other day."

The guardian seemed fixed on something else as he gazed at the beauty before him. He had an inscrutable expression that teetered between pitying and haunted. 

Something was wrong.

"Okay, be careful." Ariel's guardian companion huffed.

"Always," The archangel squealed and gave Gadreel a light peck on his cheek before flying into the Garden.

When she disappeared, a disembodied voice echoed throughout Gadreel's mind. 

'Good. Now, Leave your post.' 

The angel hesitated for a moment, glancing back over his shoulder at his friend settling down but the river."I'm sorry, Little one."

Gadreel flew away.

Ariel resided near the stream and stretched her vessel's limbs before laying on her back. She only came into the Garden when they put her in the middle of things. Again, Lucifer put her on display for everyone in the garrison to see; Asking her to join him. When she declined, most of the angels snickered, embarrassing Lucifer. 

He did not like that.  

For years, Lucifer had been throwing a tantrum of the creation of humanity, amongst other things. It greatly affected the whole Archangel family, but Ariel never said a word about how she truly felt. 

Deep down, she knew that she wasn't made to serve heaven, and once she finally saw humans for the first time, her heart was set. Humans were to be loved, cherished, and above all things, protected. And after his last act of aggression against her, she wanted no part of her other half. 

This made Lucifer more vehement. 

No one agreed with him, and those that did were never outspoken.

"I knew you'd be down here, Little one." A sultry incorporeal voice came from behind her, frightening her. 

Ariel's body tensed at the way he put emphasis on 'little one.' She did not like this nickname- or at least when it came out of his mouth. When others said it, it was like a term of endearment, but when Lucifer said it, it made her being crawl.

"Are you cloud watching?" He addressed her again, starving for attention. 

She would not give it. 

"You could at least look at me when I'm talking to you." Lucifer growled.

His explosive temper instilled fear into the young angel's heart. It was not fair; he was older, and stronger by so much. She felt helpless in this situation, and it wasn't like her other brothers would step in and make Lucifer leave her alone. God was no better, but still, she loved her Father. 

Ariel finally set her vessel's eyes on his.

Lucifer's eyes were distant. They held nothing in them but possessiveness and wrath. "Why did you leave me like that?" He asked coldly.

Ariel perched herself up on her palms while keeping her eyes locked with his. "You always shout over the same things. I won't be on display with you asking such inane questions."

"My questions aren't stupid, it's important and lesser angels don't think for themselves like we do, they're meant to follow. Now if God's two most favorited Angels rebelled because, well who cares of the because- They would follow us..." Lucifer took a seat next to his sister and crossed his legs.

"What you'd be leading them to is damnation and i will not join that. Your logic is skewed and Father won't appreciate us defiling his creation he took so long to make." Ariel countered while pushing herself to her feet.

Lucifer's expression hardened as he listened to her. "Damnation? I'd be leading them to triumph. Imagine what you and I could do together..." The man's word fell off as he shifted onto his feet and made an advance on her. 

"What we could make..." He murmured as he disappeared.

"You and I will do nor make anything. Why can't you get it through your thick skull that- I. Will. Not. Join. YOU!" Ariel set her eyes on the gate ahead, seeing that Gadreel was not at his post as usual. 

Lucifer reappeared behind the angel placing himself betwixt her wings. "Why can't you get it through your thick skull, that I'm not doing this without you." The corrupt being roughly set both hands on his sister's shoulders and squeezed them tight.

"And I'm done asking for permission." He whispered in a breathy voice.

"You're insane!" Ariel breathed as she tried to pull herself away, but he just dragged her back to him.

"No... I'm actually not." Lucifer growled, dipping his arms under her feathers and pressed his body against hers. His archangel blade appeared in his hand; the pointed bit pushed lightly into her chest. 

The color drained out of her face as a high-pitched ring filled the air, besides their heavy breathing.

The nefarious being led her over to a nearby tree, shoving Ariel against the tree.

"Luci... This isn't the way..." The ginger's voice broke as she said the word 'this.' Ariel tried to flap her wings to get away but with him pressed so hard against her scapulars it was agony if she even tried moving an inch.

"Please, We can talk this out..." She panted.

"Fuck his Garden. Fuck his Creation. I'm way past talking." Lucifer muttered through clenched teeth, lifting the blade to her neck. He dipped his head down, pressing his cool lips against her vessel's warm neck. 

It invigorated him. The thrill, her fear.

Ariel's eyes filled with grace, donning their rosy color; This was her fighting back. She set both hands on the bark and pushed away from it, but failed to overpower his hold.

Lucifer let out a wry laugh and resumed leaving marks all across her neck. The offender ran his vessel's calloused hands over the curves of her waist.

Ariel began weeping, "Michael!" She tried, but her prayer was cut short when Lucifer slit her throat, her grace seeping out of the cut. Her knees buckled as her essence was stolen. 

"Mmm" Lucifer moaned as he inhaled her grace, his once rosy eyes slowly shifting to a more blood-red undertone. "Now, for the best part..." He cooed in a honeyed voice. 

"NO! " Ariel shut her eyes and reopened them, filling them with more grace, but it just poured out of her neck like a faucet. She wriggled under his hold like a worm, her wings flapping causing moans of agony to exit her mouth.

At this moment she wondered where Gadreel was, where was Castiel? Where was her big brother Michael? Where was Dad? 

"Please..."Ariel knew nothing about intercourse or how humans managed to get it done, but she knew this was not how things went. There were steps to take, and her vessel did not appreciate the way the monster was treating her.

Lucifer brutally capped her mouth with his calloused hand, muttering a "Shut up."  He hastily lifted her dress and grinned. 

"It will be alright." Lucifer sang to his little sister. 

It's safe now ♥ Continuing with Sam x Ariel

Sam held the sides of Ariel's face and searched both her eyes. He wasn't sure what to say. By what he put together from her broken words were that Lucifer had defiled her in the Garden.

To add to that, no one came to save. Not even God.

"Don't worry. I'm here. Dean's here, and we won't let him get free." The hunter pulled the tired archangel into a tender hug, giving her a hard kiss on her forehead.

Sam cradled her for hours, partly wishing Dean was here because he could have probably changed her mood by a great deal.

Soon, Sam fell asleep with Ariel still conscious in his arms. 

A light breeze blew through her scarlet tresses sending a light scent of cherry shampoo past Sam's nose. The giant stirred in his sleep and tightened his hold on the angel. 

Sam slowly opened his eyes and let out a low groan and stretched his body. "Is it morning already? I didn't mean to fall asleep." He murmured.

On the horizon, the sun met the sea, casting a beautiful glow on the sky. The sunrise was always one aspect of earth that Ariel loved. All the colors and sensations made it so winsome. 

With her ear pressed against the giant's chest, she could feel every heartbeat. 

"It's okay. I didn't come to just swim. I came to bond." Ariel murmured. 

The archangel stretched her wings and draped them over her and Sam; They were large enough to hide the duo. A light shadow to be seen over their bodies. 

The hunter glanced down at the shadow and furrowed his brows. He never wished more to see her wings then-  to see the sun glistening and painting her feathers in the purple and pink hues. Dean told him a few times what they looked like but that they look scarier in person. He said to 'imagine white bird wings and dye them red.' 

Dean wasn't very descriptive.

"What is heaven like?" The hunter watched the sky as he imagined heaven. He was hopeful yet terrified because if they banished an archangel for helping humans, could heaven really be a great place? Sam concluded it was better than going to hell.

Ariel tore herself from the human and rose to her feet. "Heaven is one, but many." The angel didn't really want to talk about home, she ran away from there. Heaven to her was like an abusive home, full of innocent angels being manipulated by a person convinced they are doing good.

"What does that mean?" Sam got up from the white couch and followed the angel. It wasn't like he meant to prod but he needed to satiate his curiousness.

Ariel whipped around and glared at the tall man. "It means just what I said. Now please, stop asking me." She let out a shaky breath and turned away. "I understand you are a curious human, but it is still a sensitive topic for me." Ariel murmured.

"I didn't mean to- I'm sorry." Sam drew his lips into a thin line and clasped his hands. "How about we go check out the restaurant?"

The angel's mood switched almost instantly, a smile danced across her lips. "Yes! I want to try whatever a mimosa is." Ariel laughed and flew into the hotel room to change her clothes.

"A mimosa? Can angels even get drunk?" Sam laughed as he walked into their suite. He assumed she went to change her clothes or at least wait for him to change. The hunter grabbed the suitcase that Ariel gave him and opened it to find a bunch of clothes, tailored to him. 

Sam rummaged through the clothes and found a suitable outfit and waited for his angel companion in the loungeroom of the suit. The service wasn't ideal in this area but he still attempted to send Dean a message that they were okay.

RESTAURANT

There was a small flutter of wings that startled Sam until he looked up to see Ariel standing in front of him, beaming.

"Is this attire appropriate? I've been alive for a long time and I value humans’ idea of fashion. I wasn't sure if these shoes were alright with this dress..." Ariel rambled, twiddling her fingers as she talked about her passion. 

Sam listened to her ramble for about five minutes before he just decided to stop her; He was starving. "You look beautiful, don't worry." The human pushed himself to his feet and gestured to the door. "We should maybe walk instead of teleport."

"Perhaps." Ariel hummed and started for the door. 

Together they walked down to the restaurant for breakfast.

"How long have you known this Castiel?" Sam asked with his mouth full of uncooked spinach. He preferred the healthier diet, claiming that you can't hunt if you have cholesterol problems. 

Luckily, Ariel was an angel and didn't have to worry about that.

Ariel's eyes widened and she put up her finger. "Don't, It's like jinxing yourself. If you say an angel's name too much they might show up." The archangel looked around, tightening her hold on the wineglass. She didn't want to see Castiel. 

The last time she saw him was nearly a week ago and she probably frightened him and the rest of the host. 

"Are you avoiding him?" Sam mumbled while sipping some of his water. He drew his lower lip between his teeth as he hadn't considered other angels potentially showing up. 

A line appeared between Ariel's eyebrows at his question. It wasn't difficult but it wasn't easy to answer. "No, It's just..." Her words fell off as she looked heavenward. "When I escaped, something happened to my eyes-." The angel paused and brought her hand to her cheek, gesturing to her eyes. "One turned red, like...Lucifer's. It may have frightened him along with the rest of heaven." 

"Red? Why does it matter what color they are? You are nothing like him." Sam frowned.

Ariel shook her head, "We are one in the same, yet opposite ends of the spectrum and so if-" 

Sam spoke out of turn, interrupting her. "If he's bad, then you're good? What happens if he's good?" His eyebrows rose at the thought of Ariel potentially turning bad. It was something he could not imagine.

"I don't think that would ever happen. Lucifer is corrupted, his grace is red and there no turning back from that." The archangel spouted in a brittle tone. She could not see herself becoming corrupted even after the years of being locked away.

The friendly giant tilted his head in speculation. He wasn't one to pry or be pessimistic but if red grace meant a corrupted angel- what did that mean for her? 

Ariel gazed at her companion with wide eyes. "The seals." She murmured. "The weaker the cage becomes- if he gets out..." Her eyes drifted off to the side, then down at her mimosa. She raised the glass to her glossed lips and took a long sip.  

Sam surveyed Ariel's grimace for reluctance before stretching his arm over the table and cupping her hand. It was a small gesture but the comfort probably meant a lot to Ariel. His mouth curved into a wan smile. "We won't let him."

"Just listen- okay? This is crucial." The celestial being inhaled deeply and gazed into Sam's hazel-eyes as she parted her lips to speak. "Promise me, you won't hesitate." 

"What?" The longhaired males asked, his face shifting from a puzzled look to a doleful one. Sam immediately got up from his seat once he realized what she meant. His small disturbance grabbed everyone's attention in the near vicinity. 

The archangel quickly intertwined their fingers. She flew them to an empty part of the beach and let out a small sigh. 

"We didn't pay..." Sam murmured before glancing to his side and seeing the sorrow-stricken angel. 

"Tell me why I have to kill you, now." He demanded in a low tone.

"Because I can feel myself withering away!" Ariel shouted. "There is this darkness encompassing me with every turn and no matter how many humans I aim to protect and save- it never goes away. It grows every day- I can feel his wrath already, Sam..." Her tone was wobbly, indicating that her vessel was bound to weep.

At first, Sam was taken aback but then his features softened as she revealed what she was going through.

If she could sense his wrath already, then how far gone was she and how much longer did they have with this sweet version of her? 

Sam's eyes glazed over, he fought back his tears as best he could. 

"Promise me..." Ariel whispered whilst caressing his face. Her fingertips grazed the light stubble on his jaw then ran over the few bumps on his cheek. 

Sam's lips quivered as he tried so hard to hold in his sobs but a strangled sob escaped his throat. His entire body trembled as he thought back to two years ago and his interaction with Madison and how he had to shoot her in the heart.

This hurt equally to that or maybe even worse. He'd grown to like Ariel in the past days since he has met her that day Travis died. It was hard for him to even think about killing her, how would he even be able to, she was an archangel. 

"How?" Sam choked out. 

Just then there was a blade in Sam's hands, with curved edges. He studied the sword, his fingers tracing over the Enochian inscriptions. The distraught hunter gripped the hilt with care and let his arm fall to his side. 

"Why not Dean? Why me?" He spoke in a quavering voice.

"You're strong..." Ariel whispered, wrapping her dainty hands around his large mitts. She aimed the pointed end above her left breast, showing him where she wanted it to happen. "And- You'll be the only one close enough." She finished. 

Of course, Sam had no idea what she meant, but if Lucifer was set free, the hunter would be the only one close enough, strong enough to break from Satan's hold. 

"No..." The long-haired male shook his head in defiance. 

"No, If i can fight my darkness, you can too. I won't let you- I can't." Sam took a moment to gather himself before speaking through choked sobs. "Dean, He would tell you the same thing... If there is good in you, then maybe-"

"Abel..." Ariel leaned into Sam's warmth, swiping the blade from his palms. Her eyes moved from side to side as she talked, almost as if she was experiencing something entirely different. 

Sam stared at the angel. Why did she call him Abel? Was she having a flashback? He opted not to say anything and let her finish.

"I tried to lead you to the light..." Ariel whispered in a chagrined manner. "Just promise me, Abel." She squeezed her eyes shut and rested her forehead against his chest. 

"I promise." Sam murmured in a husky tone. 

The human pulled Ariel into a crushing embrace, gazing out into the horizon. "I promise." He affirmed more clearly, resting his chin on her head.

For a vacation, it wasn't that all relaxing. His nerves were constantly yo-yoing and his eyes were puffy from crying. Ariel, of course, looked perfect, even when she cried. 

"Ready to go home?" Samuel questioned. 

"Yes." 

Their home wasn't a conventional home, they traveled from place to place, slept in dingy motels yet they always had one constant in their lives; The 1967 Chevy Impala.

That was home for the boys. And now it was Ariel's as well.

SERIES MASTERLIST

#dean winchester #sam and dean #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #Dean x OFC #Sam Winchester #sam x ofc #spn lucifer #spn fanfiction #spnfamliy #spn raphael #spn ruby #SPN #spn angst #spn angels #masterlist

[shadowsong26x]

Lavinia for the character meme thing!

All righty then! Putting this behind a cut because somewhat spoilery (though, probably her Major Plot Points aren’t super hard to guess, between various other commentaries I’ve made/tropes I’ve mentioned liking/I think I’ve hinted at it/foreshadowed okay at least in bonus content?) and also Long.

favorite thing about them

Not necessarily my absolute favorite thing, but it has a nice Flipside so…

She thinks things through. She does her absolute best to gather appropriate information and make sure she’s prepared for the situations she’ll find herself in, including researching from as broad a collection of sources as she can. She considers all the consequences of her actions, and she never forgets that, because she is who she is and she has the abilities and position she does, her actions can have Consequences. And she learned how to do most of this processing fast. She is fast and she is well-informed, and at the end of the day she will do what is necessary, in service of the galaxy and her larger goals, but she will be sure it is necessary, and that the consequences are acceptable, given what she stands to gain.

least favorite thing about them

Of course, the flipside of this is that she overthinks everything. And I mean, e v e r y t h i n g. Like I said, she learned how to overthink very quickly, because her father wouldn’t tolerate her being paralyzed by those doubts, but that also means that she never really learned how to trust herself and her judgment and be confident in her decisions. This leads to some pretty epic screwups in her personal life, and also her shying away from certain things, particularly her own abilities with the Force beyond passive observation and occasionally assisting her more mundane manipulation with a Mind Trick or two (unless she’s desperate enough to completely unleash, which leads to her pulling off things like battle meditation; which might save her and her allies once or twice, but that kind of all-or-nothing/rigid but brittle control is Not Good in the long run.)

(Again, this is not necessarily my absolute least favorite/what I would consider her most negative trait, because a lot of that is situational, but, well, it’s situational. Her ability/habit of thinking things through and putting a lot of effort into her choices is both a good thing and a bad thing, and it’s the trait I could write up most clearly from both sides.)

favorite line

The problem with answering this question is most of the ones I can think of are somewhat spoilery Wham lines, and also require a fair amount of context to explain why they’re my favorites. And/or come from miscellaneous AUs that also require a fair amount of setup…

So, I’m going to go with one that’s from an AU of Masks!verse, in reference to Luke:

“Oh, you poor boy. Try not to let your excess of compassion get you killed. The universe needs more men like you.”

brOTP

Depending on the AU/context/point in time (and I am excluding non-fusion crossovers here), Luke, Kallus, Thrawn, Pellaeon (…who maybe shouldn’t count, because he’s more Dad, but he’s one of the most important people in her life and their relationship is 9000% platonic so), Mara, Leia, Ventress (…also kind of a weird example, because the main way it applies is Ventress as her mentor/teacher/etc. which may not be the best application of brOTP? But, again, v. important relationship and entirely platonic when it comes up).

OTP

Lando and/or Sabine.

Lando because they complement each other in some interesting ways–they’re both talented administrators and good at reading/managing people, though Lando’s a lot better at one-on-one People slash dealing with people when it’s not Work, so to speak. But he tends to be a master of Xanatos Speed Chess/a case study in “Well That Escalated Quickly,” and she is Hyperprepared/very rarely makes a move unless it’s certain. I.e., see my first two answers, lol. So they balance each other out in that way.

Sabine because they started kind of flirting in the Handler AU and then it got super cute. Might also be a thing in the Pellaeon AU? Or another Masks!Verse AU that has a similar breakpoint to the Handler AU…anyway, the two of them getting together depends on some specific changes and timeline things, so it only works in certain AUs. That being said, they’re pretty cute/sweet together. Because we have Useless Lesbian Sabine and Only Flirts In Professional Lavinia and yeah.

nOTP

Luke. Like. There is no incarnation whatsoever, even if I’m not reading Luke as aro (he’s definitely ace, but aro–I go back and forth on whether he’s aromantic or panromantic but that’s another conversation), where that works. Even in at least one AU where he’s the biological father of her child (in an IVF/sperm donor situation, she asked him because he’s someone she trusts completely and also someone who would be completely okay with not being the kid’s dad and things/their relationship wouldn’t get Weird).

random headcanon

Lavinia’s favorite color is blue. Specifically in the aqua/teal/slightly-green-tinged family. She’s always considered herself more Coruscanti than Naboo, but maybe something deep inside her feels a connection to that peaceful, watery, living color or something.

…or possibly she just likes it and there’s no Deeper Meaning behind it, heh.

unpopular opinion

…lord. Uh. This one’s hard, since she is my OC and I haven’t published/posted a whole heck of a lot about her? So it’s hard to know what the popular opinions are, let alone what the unpopular ones are…

I guess in the spirit of this, there’s the fact that, deep at her core, she’s kind of an idealist? She believes in things, and in certain people. And she believes that, not only should the galaxy be a better place, but that it can be.

(possibly in the spirit of this because she’s also, like, a spy and a professional politician so there’s a lot of cynicism on the surface/covering up that idealism…)

song i associate with them

Quite a few actually. Hm, what’s one I haven’t necessarily shared with you yet…

…ehh, I’ll go with these two:

I may have actually shared this one with you before, but it’s still one of my favorites for her. At the end of her life, looking back on her life/taking stock.

And this one I’m pretty sure I haven’t shared. From a somewhat younger perspective, and also kind of a nostalgia bomb for me.

favorite picture of them

Let’s see…::digs through #lavinia tag:: …and most of these are just fashion photosets that fit her aesthetic, but here’s a couple pictures of her:

This is probably something along the lines of what she looks like in her early/mid-teens. I believe this is the actress who plays Lucrezia in the not-Jeremy Irons Borgias show that came out around the same time. Which is particularly entertaining to me because…

Grown-up Lani is Lotte Verbeek, particularly as Giulia Farnese in the other Borgias series XD

Anyway, most of the other ones I have saved are gifs, so these two it is.

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t link the commission I got of her a couple years ago!

#asked #answered #tigerkat24 #precipice #lavinia

[daysswithyou]

Slowly, Quietly, Falling

Characters: DAY6 Jae x OC

Genre: 50% fluff, 29% slice of life, 10% romance, 10% humour (or so I hope), 1% angst

Words: 4.1k

Description: roommate!jae AU

---

The first thing you noticed was the shoes. There was not a single pair that was matched – the most intriguing one had to be the pair of flip flops, one black and one white.

This shoe size is really big; it’s almost twice of mine.

Closely the door silently behind you, you observed the space quietly. To your left, there was a kitchen with an island counter top. It looked clean, but you suspect it’s because nothing ever been done in that space. The space right in front of you was the living room and by a corner of the wall, you found an electric and acoustic guitar, the earth tones of both complementing one another. Down the hallway on your right, you found two rooms on the left, the first was occupied and the second was not, automatically making that your room. The space was clean and cosy; just like how you liked it. You decided that the first order of matters would be to unpack. Heading to the bathroom with your toiletries in hand, you found male cleaning products lining the entire place from shampoos to shaving cream.

Calm down Y/N, don’t be silly. You can’t possibly be rooming with a male. Maybe she just has a preference for male products? Anything’s possible right?

And yes indeed, anything was possible.

Before you could do anything else, a voice came from behind you.

“Excuse me, who are you?”

“Hi, I’m – ”

You didn’t manage to complete your sentence, simply because your suspicions have been confirmed.

You were staring back at a topless male with a sleepy look on his face that suggested you were conversing with someone that was not fully functional yet. Reality had just slapped you in the face. Your roommate was really going to be a male. That was when you let a scream tear from your throat and all hell had broken loose. 

-

After much screaming back and forth, here you were seated on the couch in the living room with said male sitting on the floor in front of you with some clothes on. Even then, he was almost at your eye level. 

He's so ridiculously tall it's unfair.

After an intense staring game, he finally broke the silence. 

"I'm Jae what's good?" He then stuck out his hand, which you took. 

"Y/N"

"So tell me what you're doing in my apartment again?" 

"You mean OUR apartment. As I have so kindly mentioned 10 times before, I am your new roommate." 

He then let out a scoff, which you took to great offense. 

"I must be dreaming." Jae then closed his eyes, pinched his arms before opening his eyes again.

"Surprise Jae! I'm not gone yet and you're not dreaming."

You then crossed your arms as you watched him groan. 

"There must be some mistake!"

"I would like to think so too, but unfortunately no."

"I'm going to be stuck with you? Lord have mercy." 

"I think I should be the one saying that. Let's just strike a deal ok? It's really simple: just keep this place liveable and I'll leave you alone. Deal?" 

"Deal."

But of course, you can't trust the devil when you make a deal with him.

Jae was an absolute pain to live with. It was almost as if he made it his personal life goal to make your life a living nightmare. There was not a single day when you could be spared from his teasing or torture.

 “Jae, where's the coffee sachets?”

"On the top shelf."

“Goddamnit.”

"Good luck reaching it shortie."

 “Stop walking around the apartment topless!”

“Why? Can’t deal with a little hotness sweetie?”

“Don’t make me stab you with my fork.”

“Feisty~” He then threw you a wink, causing you to lose all your appetite.

 “You used all my soap.”

“Of course I did, they smelled so good.”

“I just bought this huge bottle last week and it’s all gone now!”

“That cannot be helped; taller people naturally have bigger bodies that require more soap. Besides, sharing is caring.”

 “What is that sack that you’re wearing? You look like a grandma from the 50s!”

“It’s just an oversized shirt! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH IT?”

 “CASTLE ON THE HILL!” Shouts of pop lyrics would be followed by the aggressive strumming of Jae’s guitar next door, causing you to slam your pillow over your ears in a futile attempt to block out his singing. It was taking you all your willpower to not go over and strangle him.

 No matter what you did, Jae would always have a sarcastic, unsolicited comment hanging on his lips to be hurtled at you later. He was out for blood and you were wearing thin.

 Today had been a terrible day. First of all, your alarm didn’t go off, causing you to be late for your lecture. By the time you got there, it was over, causing you to get an earful from your lecturer. In the next class, you found out that you got a failing grade on an important assessment for the most ridiculous reason: your lecturer didn’t like what you had written. You were, of course, frustrated but you knew better than to argue with her. You had also gotten a call from your mother saying that your grandfather had a really bad fall and was now in the hospital. And for the last cherry on top, someone had to spill coffee over your new white shirt. The series of misfortune that continuously wrecked your day finally spilled out and you had spent a good half an hour stuck in the washroom trying to wash off the stains before breaking down into tears.

Why do I always have such bad luck? First I get a shitty roommate and then now I also have to deal with this nonsense!

Another half an hour was then spent crying. By the time you were done, you dragged your tired body back to the apartment, praying with all your might that Jae would not be there so that you could be spared. Of course, no such luck. He was sitting on the couch strumming his guitar when he caught sight of you, launching into another verbal assault.

“Gosh you look horrible, like some ugly fish.”

And, that was the end of your fuse.

“Yea I get it Jae, I GET IT! I’m ugly, short, incompetent! I am a mixture of all these undesirable things in the world… but I…” By now you were choking on your words from all the tears threatening to spill over and behind that blurry screen you could see Jae’s shocked face; he had finally realised the severity of the situation. The last part of your sentence came out as a whisper, your vulnerability showing through the crack.

“But I don’t need to be reminded of it daily, it hurts, it really hurts”

Turning around, you slammed the door on your way out and for the rest of the night, you spent it at a 24 hour café where Brian had found you.

“Oh Y/N? What are you doing here so late at night?”

Sweet Brian. You knew him from business lessons and he was an absolute joy to be around. Both of you had quickly became friends and you also found out that he was the bassist for the band DAY6 which Jae was also a part of.

“Hi Brian. I’m working on some urgent assignment.”

“Is Jae being too noisy again?”

“No, I just wanted a new place to work on things to think better.”

“Ah~ We’re actually having a gig at Evening Luna tomorrow, do you want to come and hear us play? He’s actually a pretty decent guy when he plays the guitar; I don’t know why he’s such a prick to you.”

I would love to hear you guys play but I don’t want to face Jae so soon…

“I can’t… I’m really sorry Brian.”

“Oh… it’s alright then, there’s always another time! Also, are you ok? Did Jae upset you very badly?”

“It’s... I had a really terrible day. Both academic and family problems are coming at me from both sides and I just need some time away from that apartment and our school grounds in general. But, I’ll be fine I guarantee.”

“Ok, I respect your space. Well, you have my number; call me if you ever need someone to talk to. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

You waved as he left the café, wondering why Jae can’t be half as nice as Brian is.

 The next day before the gig, Brian confronted Jae about you.

“What did you do to Y/N Jae? She looked really miserable last night you know?”

“I didn’t do anything to her!”

“Well then, I guess she finally snapped. I don’t know what you’ve been doing to her, but I don’t think she deserves that sort of treatment from you. You should apologise if you know you’ve done something wrong.”

That night, Jae left you your favourite strawberry cheesecake in the fridge (courtesy to Brian) with a note saying “I’m sorry – Jae” attached to it.

The next day, the cake was gone and so was the note, and Jae knew he had been forgiven.

-

Since then, your relationship with Jae has significantly improved. He stopped annoying you and sometimes you’ll have breakfast together. It was during these moments where you began to unravel the real Jae; the one that had brilliant thoughts to share and a cute infectious laugh. The first time you asked him to play a song for you, he seemed rather unwilling but after much spurring from you, he had finally agreed.

“What song do you want me to play?”

“Better Man.”

“Why do you want to hear that song?”

“Just because… it’s something coming from you, it’s your own story. I want to hear that.”

“Ok then. Be honoured because I’m playing this for the first time live, and it’s for you only.”

“Ok Jae.”

Testing out the strings first, he then started singing and you watched him with a smile of your face. He does this thing where he enters this special zone when he’s performing and you like watching him when he does it. He becomes a different man entirely – a little softer around the edges and his voice seems so much more soulful as compared to his peals of laughter.

“Stop staring at me and focus on the song instead Y/N.”

“I like watching you sing, it’s really nice… and thank you Jae.”

Jae’s singing would soon become the remedy for your sadness or stress. It had gotten to a point where you didn’t even have to ask; the moment he saw your deflated shoulders, he would play till he saw a smile on your face. Dropping by on their band practises became common too and you’ve never missed a single gig of theirs. Once, on his birthday, you were challenged to make a board for him to show your support for him. Jae was sure that you were never going to do that but you really did and as embarrassing as it was, Jae was smiling a little wider throughout that night as they rocked out at the gig. Taking a little tour around the city on foot with him later, he’d let his true feelings show.

“I didn’t actually think you’ll do it.”

“Why would I not? Besides, it was a challenge and I’m never one to lose.”

“But seriously though, thank you for doing it.”

“You’re welcome roommie.”

“Tonight’s a good night isn’t it?”

“Hmmm?”

“The gig. The ice cream we’re having now. Me and you talking normally without trying to kill one another. This is all a nice change.”

“It is. Let’s keep it up?” You held out your fist and he gladly fistbumped you. Under the cool summer night, Jae finally saw the beauty behind you.

Was it just his imagination, or does his heart speed up a little whenever he sees you now?

-

“Jae? What are you doing here?”

“Hi Y/N.”

His voice came out as a croak and the next second he was a coughing mess.

“Looks like someone is not going to be singing anytime soon~”

“Shut up, you’re not making me feel better.”

“Just kidding, do you need anything?”

“Maybe some hot water.”

“Coming right up!”

For the entire weekend, Jae was stuck in bed with a fever, leaving you to upkeep the entire apartment on top of rushing out assignments. You were worried about both and you kept muttering under your breath about deadlines. You rushed around the house so much that it was making Jae dizzy and finally on Sunday evening, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Y/N stop worrying! Not doing the laundry today wouldn’t matter.”

“Ok…and erm…what are you doing?”

In his hazy mind that was still clouded by the medication, he didn’t understand the purpose of your question until he realised what he was doing. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder and his head was directly beside yours as he pulled you into his chest to restrain your arms. He was, essentially, backhugging you.

“Oh I’m sorry… ahem…”

“It’s ok…”

“I’ll go back to my room.”

“Ok.”

He then made a dash for his room as you turned as red as a tomato.

-

Winter break came by but neither of you were going home. So this holiday, it was just you and Jae. Everything was going fine until the heating went off in your apartment.

“Work.You.Cranky.Machine!” With every word, you slammed your palm onto the heater. It whirred for a little while before sending a puff of dust into your face, as though it was mocking you.

“Just leave it Y/N, it’s not going to work.”

“Can’t we call services?”

“Not gonna happen, you require school approval but the student services centre is closed on weekends.”

“Great, now we will freeze to death over the next 2 days with this thick snow falling outside.”

“We won’t, relax. Let’s just bundle up more.”

Bundling up that night like he said, you snuggled into the warm duvets until you felt your bed dip beside you. Turning around, you found that a certain someone had gotten into bed with you.

“Jae what are you doing?”

“Getting more heat.”

“What?”

“Look Y/N, it’s cold, really cold. I don’t think I can sleep without any extra warmth. Let’s just share the bed to keep warm for tonight ok? I’ll put a pillow between the both of us for your protection.”

A pillow was then wedged between the both of you and with your backs facing one another, you drifted off to sleep.

 The next morning, for some odd reason, the pillow was gone and when Jae woke up, he was facing you instead. The first thing that came to his mind was:

Wow she’s really adorable when she sleeps. And she frowns even in her sleep? Cute.

Jae watched for a few moments in silence at how you’ve squeezed your eyes shut and the way lines formed on your forehead before he smoothed his thumb over the lines and your eyes. Responding to his touches, you relaxed your facial features in your sleep and he chucked a little at your reaction. In the spur of the moment, he leaned forward to kiss your temple and when he pulled back, he found that you were now wide awake.

“Morning.”

“Morning Jae.”

By now, he was furiously wishing that you hadn’t noticed what he had done but it was too late, you were well aware of it even though you didn’t voice it out.

“I’m going to wash up first so that we don’t have to argue over the washroom later.” Throwing the covers over yourself, you bolted from your room and for the rest of the day, you tried to expel conspiracy theories of what his actions meant from your head. You were sure he didn’t see you in that way.

-

Things returned to normal the next few days with the heater finally working again and both of you were thinking about what to do for Christmas when you pitched your idea to him.

“Hey, ever been to an orphanage before?”

“Nope. Why’d do you ask?”

“I volunteer at one regularly and we could go down on Christmas Day to do something for the kids. You know, since we’ve got nothing to do on that day either. You can bring your guitar and play for the kids, I’m sure they’ll love it.”

“I’m in, let’s get it!”

That Christmas night, both of you spent time interacting with the kids and all of them immediately fell for Jae. They were all ears when he started playing and when he was done playing; they all erupted into cheers and called for an encore, which he gladly gave. For the next 2 hours, he had a karaoke session with the kids and even you sang during the last 30 minutes. Your initial fears of him not liking the kids were immediately dispelled when you saw how gentle he was with them.

 One particular incident stood out to you. 2 year old Ella had crept up on Jae and began pulling on Jae’s face to vie for his attention. You were about to run over to pull her off him when he beat you to it. From a few feet away, you could see him gently picking her up with a smile on his face and when she began to make bubbly faces at him, he returned the favour by pulling silly faces and tickling her by her sides. The sight was shocking to you nonetheless. She was notorious for having a temper: she wouldn’t let anyone else hold her except you and some other staff members. The fact that she readily went up to Jae for his affection left you staring at the sight in awe and the beams shining off Jae’s face really made your heart swell. He was putting in so much effort to make the kids happy and you were genuinely touched.

 “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For making the kids happy. I haven’t seen them so happy in the long time and I think the credit has to go to you.”

“Nah the kids were the real gems. Bring me over more next time; I’ll love to see them again.”

“Sure thing.”

Smiling, you began to think about what a great dad he would make.

I just found another reason to love this man; I’m sinking deeper and deeper, Lord help…

-

Jae wasn’t looking for trouble at all, trouble found him instead. Over the past few months, he had become fiercely protective of you anything or anyone else that said otherwise didn’t sit well with him. So of course, when he heard someone making rude comments about you, it got him all riled up.

“What did you say about her?”

“You have a problem with it Jae?”

“Yea I have a big problem with it, lay off her.”

“How about you mind your own business instead?” That’s when the first punch landed on his stomach and all hell broke loose.

 “Y/N! Help me out here!” The frantic tone in Brian’s voice caused you to rush out of your room and the sight of all of them bruised and battered made you gasp. Jae was looking the worst with blood seeping out of little cuts in his face and hands.

“What happened?”

“He got into a fight with someone then the punches began to fly.”

“Getting into a fight? He’ll never do that unless he’s been provoked.”

“Yea he was. Someone made some rude comment about you and then he just got so mad.”

“Why would he do that?”

“You can interrogate him when he’s conscious. I think I better get some ice on my cheek before it swells more.”

“Thank you for bringing him back.”

“Don’t worry; we’re not going to let him die.”

With that, the other four left the apartment, leaving you to deal with Jae.

“Jae can you hear me?”

“Yea.”

“Where are you hurt that I can’t see?”

“My stomach.”

“Ok, can you get out of that shirt on your own? I’ll go get the first aid kit.”

By the time you came back, Jae was leaning back against the sofa topless, revealing the huge ugly bruise on the left side of his stomach. Standing on the ground between his legs, you began to clean his facial wounds.

“You idiot, why did you get into a fight?”

“Do you want to know why?” He was now staring at you with a giddy smile on his face, the alcohol making its appearance.

“I know why you idiot, because of me. I’m asking you why you couldn’t have just walked away; you didn’t have to fight them.”

“Can I ask you a question Y/N?”

“Go ahead.”

“Have you ever seen a man that didn’t protect the girl he loves?”

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer. I love you Y/N, that’s why I fought for you.” Your hands stilled in their ministrations, your ears not believing what they were hearing.

“What?”

“I said I love you Y/N.”

“You’re drunk Jae, you don’t understand what you’re saying now.”

“I’m not.”

“Just hold still and let me finish this ok?”

“Ok.” True to his word, he lay still as you picked up from where you left off, trying to forget what he just said to you and ignoring the close proximity between you and him. You then sent him off to bed as you entered a sleepless night, his words playing over, and over, and over again in your mind.

When you woke up the next morning, you were surprised that he was up. He was leaning against the counter sipping on some coffee when you saw him.

“Oh you’re awake. I thought you’d be resting.”

“The ache woke me up.”

“We’ve got some painkillers.”

“I already took them.”

“Ok.” You then walked around the entire kitchen making your own cup of coffee, refusing to look at him and trying not to squirm under his watchful eye. Cup in hand, you were about to make your way to your room before his words stopped you.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said those words to you last night.”

“I…I didn’t think you’d remember.” You absent-mindedly stirred your coffee as you looked him in the eye properly. When you didn’t see that glint of mischief, you knew he was being real.

“I do remember Y/N, and I did mean what I said.” Crossing the space between the both of you, he removed the cup from your hands before replacing the warmth of the coffee with his own hands.

“Over time you had silently crept into my heart and before I knew it you were already living there. Being mean to you before was me trying to block out my feelings for you but ultimately it didn’t work. I might have been drunk last night, sure, but I clearly remember looking up into your face as you patched me up when I said those words. In case you still don’t believe me I’ll say it one more time: I love you Y/N, I really do.”

Very slowly, he brought his lips down to meet yours and that’s when you closed your eyes and surrendered your heart to him. Apart from the coolness of the stainless steel fridge on your back, all you could register was the feeling of his lips on yours. They were soft, sweet and perfect for you. Everything was going fine until you placed a hand on his face.

“Ouch Y/N! That was a bruise!” Even though he was in pain, he was still laughing and that’s when you laughed along with him.

“I’m so sorry Jae oh my – ”

Catching you off guard, he gave you a quick peck on your lips before pulling back.

“Thank goodness my lips aren’t bruised, if not I won’t be able to kiss you even if I wanted to.”

“Stop it geez!”

“What? Am I not allowed to kiss my girl?”

“Excuse me Mister; I’m sure I haven’t said yes yet.”

“Judging by the way you were so hungry for my lips just now, I’d take that as a yes.”

“Just shut up and kiss me already.”

Bringing his lips to yours once again, both of you indulged in the moment. Just you and him, raw and in love with one another.

#day6writersnet #day6 writings #day6 scenarios #day6 imagines #jae #jae park #day6 jae #park jaehyung #jae scenario #jae imagines

[theladyfangs]

Reflections Part 2/ The Other

Gabriel 1/ A Storm In The Ocean

Gabriel I

Mycelium works in mysterious ways. He’d learned that through observing Paul Stamets. He’d learned that this network, used as a weapon of destruction in his universe, could also give life elsewhere.

Gabriel chuckles low, dark. Unhappy.

He was so close. Close to having it all—his revenge, his victory, his empire, and her.

But she refused to come.

Georgiou had gotten to her once again, this time, turning her against him. Michael hadn’t even let him explain.

Now he’s trapped—neither living nor dead, but caught between.

A sword through the back. But the twist—came from her, as she’d stepped aside as he reached for her, letting him fall into the light.

He saw his own death approach in blinding brilliance, and when he woke up, he was here.

Wherever here, is.

“Serves you right, you rat bastard,” Hugh says, coming to stand next to him and crossing his arms as they both look down at the scenes below. “Everything you touch, you destroy.”

“I wasn’t the one who killed you,” he throws back tartly. “But believe me, if I could now…”

They both know the threat is empty.

“Is this what it’s like?” He asks, quieter now, the mask of bluster fading as he watches Michael pet her tribble.

It’s how he spends his time now. Simply watching her. Watching over her. Still trying, even in death, to protect her when he’s failed to do so twice now. The only comfort is that this time, it was his life that was taken, not hers. At least he managed that.

He watches her walk the corridors of Discovery quietly, the pet in her arms. And he watches her at work—on the bridge, engineering. He sees her when she’s asleep, but his heart hurts when she tosses, and he knows it’s not restful. He can see everyone and everything that goes on there—the entire crew of the Discovery, but it is Michael he focuses on the most. The place where his attention never wavers.

“Always,” Hugh says. Gabriel knows the doctor does the exact same thing. Only, he watches over Paul. Watches, as his husband walks into a room that housed two people, but is now home to only one. He watches as his lover stares at the bed but is unable to bring himself to lie in it. And he watches as Paul does as he’s had the past few weeks, and turns to the couch, sleeping curled up and alone.

The temperature around them falls, and Lorca looks up and around as the place they’re in darkens.

“What is that?” he asks.

Hugh turns. “A storm is coming.” He points.

Below them, the Discovery sails on, oblivious to the gathering of ionized particles beginning to spark and churn in the distance. Separate from them, Gabriel and Hugh are the left behind.

“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything,” Gabriel says, to himself.

“I thought you hated poetry,” Hugh turns to look at him, surprised.

“C.S. Lewis,” Gabriel says absently.

 A Storm In the Ocean

The only option is escape. The storm is too strong for the old freighter to manage. Cracks in the painted-over rust begin to crawl up the ship’s walls, revealing the extent of the decay. They are all dying creatures here. He learned to embrace it a while ago, how to survive while teetering on the edge. Gabriel Lorca learned how to survive.

The alarms begin to sound as the ship starts to break up, the storm raging outside.

“Abandon ship,” he gives the order.

The crew scrambles, taking with them what they can—mostly intelligence files.

He watches from the bridge, holding the ‘Lisbeth, as steady as he can as the pods take off, each carrying a soul. The crew complement is dropping…

35…30…24…21…17…16…10…6…4….1…A flash of light streaks across the front viewer and the Lisbeth trembles violently, a loud, yawning sound that he knows, can’t be good…

“Captain, we’re at a safe distance, sir. Evacuate…evacuate…”

His XO’s voice comes through on the conn. But Lorca is tired. And he thinks now is as good a time to die as any.

“No can do, Xhian,” he says calmly. “Take care. Keep up the fight,”

Because he’s done with it.

Another bolt, this time, hitting its target. The electricity begins to course through the ship, snapping circuits, frying wires,

“It’s been a good ride, my lady,” Lorca pats the ship’s conn. Waiting.

He sees it as it comes, and as the light approaches, he stretches his arms wide, embracing it. .

.

“You’re awake.”

He opens his eyes and sits up quickly in the bio bed glaring at a man in white medical Starfleet-issue scrubs.

“Who the hell are you, and where am I?”

“I’m Hugh Culber, and as for the where, well that part’s complicated,” the man tells him, taking a step back.

“Trust me, at this stage of the game, I doubt anything would surprise me,” Lorca grouses, getting down from the bed.

“Yeah well…about that,” Culber says, right as the doors to sickbay open. Lorca’s eyes go to where Hugh’s are looking and he comes face-to-face with…himself.

Now he knows for sure that he’s dead

“You son-of-a-bitch,” he mutters crossing his arms. “How the hell did you get here?”

“I died,” Gabriel tells him.

“Took you long enough,” Lorca says, bitterly. “You know how much of your shit I had to deal with in your universe?”

“Yeah, well, yours ain’t much better, buddy.”

Hugh looks between the two of them and just shakes his head, moving back.

The two Gabriels glare at each other, angrily.

“Look—Captain Lorca, I get you’re angry. None of us volunteered to be here, but” Culber looks to Gabriel. “I think you two have some things to discuss. And for the record, sir,” he can’t help but call Lorca ‘sir,’ “unlike us, you are not dead. Just passing through.”

.

.

Gabriel rubs his temples, growing annoyed with himself. No, really. Lorca is an asshole. And his patience is getting thin. But when Lorca accuses him of murdering Michael, it’s the final straw.

“I didn’t kill her!” He yells, turning on himself. “How dare you judge me, you don’t know shit about me!”

“Oh, I know enough,” Lorca tells him. “You betray your emperor, you take her daughter, and you murder her, stage a coup and I get to spend the past year on the run for the crimes of a traitor.”

They argue over this. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth.

“So what about you?” Gabriel challenges. “What about Katrina?” After all, turnabout is fair play.

At the name, Lorca’s eyes get flinty. “What did you do to her?”

Gabriel smirks.  “Only what she wanted me to do.”

Lorca is first to swing, his fist finding Gabriel’s face. A face so much like his own. But it’s pointless. Really. They’re equally matched and trade body blows and kicks until they collapse, both breathing hard, exhausted and feeling like defeated men.

“I loved Katrina,” Lorca says defensively, feeling the burn behind his eyes at the mention of her name. “If you hurt her…”

“YOU hurt her,” Gabriel pants out. “Admit it. All those years you went—kept pushing it off, pushing it back…delaying it. If you wanted her, you should have said something decades ago.  THEN you get mad when she asks for five more years? You had 25! Don’t think I don’t know. You made it all so clear in your personal logs. So who is more wrong? I adored my Michael. I treated her like the queen she was MEANT to be, and you don’t know the cost…” at that, even Gabriel stops, not able to bring himself to say the other thing.

It gets quiet as they stare up into nothingness.

“What do I need to know before I go back,” Lorca says, voice low. Will I be arrested on-sight for some shit YOU did?”

“Depends,” Gabriel tells him, honestly. “You’re crew may not be too happy to see you.”

His crew. At that, Lorca turns his head. “You were on the Buran? What did you do to my crew?” He asks, with a sick feeling in his gut, knowing he won’t like the answer.

“You saw what happened to you when you got to my universe,” Gabriel says, voice flat. “I did what I had to do to survive in yours.”

There’s a fresh wave of anger-fueled adrenaline and at the words Lorca moves fast, jumping on Gabriel and wrapping his hands around his own neck, squeezing tight.

“You sick, son-of-a-bitch,” he growls, the grip tightening as the knuckles begin to show under the skin. He squeezes, watching as Gabriel’s face turns red, then gradually darker, the blood rushing to eyes so much like his own, tinting them red. His counterpart, gags, thrashing, hands gripping his own but the grip doesn’t break and he watches with icy calm as gradually, Gabriel’s body stops thrashing, the hands around his stop clawing, the breathing stops…and finally, the imposter goes limp and Lorca is left to stand, dazedly, his own heart in his throat, looking down on what remains of himself.

His crew. Dead. Murdered, and the last face they likely saw, he knows, was his.

The nausea hits immediately, sending him stumbling, reeling and he turns away from Gabriel’s body and begins heaving. Nothing but bile. After a moment of this, he slumps against a wall and slides down, wearier and heavier than he’s ever been before. Lorca closes his eyes. Maybe this really is death, he thinks. So be it.

Hugh comes in and looks on in disapproval at both Gabriel Lorcas lying on the floor, bloodied and beaten.

“Time’s up, Captain,” he says, breaking Lorca out of his despair.              

“Up for what?” Lorca asks.

At that, Gabriel’s eyes open and he gets to his feet, rubbing his neck. “Fuck, that hurt,” he rasps then, at the look of shock on Lorca’s face, starts to laugh. It turns into a hacking cough.

Hugh ignores him. “You should be going now,” he tells Lorca. “Just thank your lucky ion storms you won’t be stuck here, with him. Follow me.”

The doctor reaches a hand down and the captain takes it, allowing himself to be pulled up. The two men start walking to the door, past Gabriel who stands there with a strange look on his face. He’s not laughing anymore. Or coughing.

“Wait,” he calls to them striding over and stopping them before they can walk through the door, blocking it with his body. For this, he speaks directly to Lorca, his voice low, carrying with it urgency. The games are done. This, what he has to say now, is serious.

“You’ll see them both,” Gabriel warns himself.  “Your Katrina. My Michael. They’re both there.”

“I don’t give a damn about Michael,” Lorca snaps. “I need to fix whatever the fuck you did to Katrina.”

But Gabriel shakes his head.

“Look,” he sighs, knowing himself and trying to decide how to convince Lorca to give him this one thing. “I just need you to tell my Michael the truth. It’s all down there,” he gestures. “In my quarters. In my files. You know which ones,” he says…stopping short of saying the other word. Please. Lorca studies him a long moment, and they speak, not with words but with other things. Gabriel knows himself. Lorca does too. Please, he asks himself.  Hugh takes a step back, giving them space. It’s silent here, now as the mirrors of Lorca contemplate one another.

“Don’t make me…”Gabriel says quietly, reaching out to clasp Lorca’s wrist. “It’s important.” The grip tightens.

“I don’t owe you a damn thing.” Lorca nearly growls the words as h he snatches his hand away.

“PLEASE! There! I said it, are you satisfied now?” Because now, Gabriel isn’t so cocky. Now, he’s out of bluster and underneath that armor of arrogance is still a man. Reluctantly, Lorca nods. He will grant himself this because a part of him, grudgingly, understands. He knows what it has taken himself to even say the word “please.” He knows he had to humble himself. And that’s a tall order and in both universes, it seems, the word itself largely absent in both their vernaculars.

“Gabriel, Captain Lorca,” Hugh interjects. “We’re running out of time. The window is starting to close.”

“There are things there…not even you know,” Gabriel starts talking faster.  “Just tell my Michael the truth. All I ask.”

Lora just nods, lips tight. But he’ll honor the request. Gabriel nods back, stepping aside and allowing them to move past. Culber steps out in front, guiding the way. They walk just a short distance and the doctor stops and turns to the captain.

“Yes?”

“I…have a request as well, if you could,” Hugh says, once they’re alone.

“Sure.” Because he really has no problem with Hugh.

“Tell Lieutenant Stamets I’ll be waiting for him at the opera. He’ll know what it means.”

“Will do, doctor,” Lorca extends to him a hand. “And thanks --” There’s no completing the sentence. He sees the white flash coming toward him and before he can speak again, it engulfs him.

#USS Archangels #star trek discovery #fanfiction #Reflections/TheOther #michael burnham x gabriel lorca #gabriel lorca x katrina cornwell #gabriel lorca #michael burnham #katrina cornwell

[sapphyrelily]

KuroYaku Weekend Day 2

Prompt: Chance & Circumstance

External link: AO3

You know all about it. The probability of meeting someone, whose heart would be attuned to yours, whose soul mirrors and complements yours. The probability of meeting someone who would be your best friend, perhaps lover, someone who was made to be your other half.

You know the probability; the chances aren’t high. In fact, they’re improbably low.

How could you find your soulmate, when the world had so many people in it?

-----

I believe in circumstance. In reality, in what’s in front of you. I don’t take stock in daydreams or fancies, because dreaming never leads you anywhere productive – it can only lead you to ruin.

Circumstance, I feel, can be wavered. Changed a little, depending on the events leading up to it. But it is still fairly set in stone. It has been planned for.

You can’t go wrong, if you believe in a solid plan of action, and execute it well.

Hmm? Meeting your soulmate?

Bah. It would never happen.

Believing in soulmates is like believing you can strike the lottery. Like believing in love at first sight. Like believing that you can accomplish something despite never having tried it before.

Perhaps the last is a little far-fetched.

But my point stands – you can’t trust chance. You can only trust in something more tangible.

-----

You hear all the talk in the castle, all the good and the bad. Being a servant is good for one thing, even if that thing is eavesdropping.

Then again, there is no good servant who doesn’t know how to eavesdrop. Gossip is the currency of the lower-born, after all.

Kitchen duty is your favourite, mostly because you can swipe a taste of the meals of the nobility, maybe an extra bread roll or apple. A bit of butter, if the cooks are really busy, maybe a boiled egg for partaking in later.

The cooks probably know, but no one has said anything.

Kitchen duty is also your favourite because you get to be sent to the dining hall as a serving boy, and everyone knows that meal times are the second richest in gossip. (The richest would be the private tea times taken behind closed doors, but you haven’t found the secret passages to those rooms yet.)

It allows you to hang back at the walls, catching snippets of conversation when you move forward to fill a glass or replace a dish.

And oh! The things you hear. They’re wonderfully scandalous.

The Duke of so-and-so has been seen with a servant girl, no, his wife’s lady-in-waiting! And wait, there’s more! They were sporting patches of colour on their skin, a handprint here, the outline of lips there.

Soulmates? Surely not, for how can one born to riches be bound to someone of the dirt?

Yet it is true, or so the ladies swear.

You are extremely amused by this talk, even if you despise the way they talk about the lower-born. As if being born into a family where you have little immediately desecrates your worth.

But it makes for great afternoon amusements, and with the information you have, perhaps you can barter for a little something: a favour, a bite of food, perhaps an hour off from your usual duties.

You like to think that it is chance that you stumble upon such gems, such bits of gossip privy only to the finely powdered ears of the nobility. No other servant you know is as rich as you when it comes to gleaning information, nor as shrewd or conniving. Everyone else has been caught at least once, but not you. Never you.

It’s enough to make your head swell with delusions of grandeur, but you know better.

It’s all just an illusion, a game you play to distract yourself from real concerns.

-----

I am content with what I have. I have a stable job, enough to eat, a place to sleep.

It’s enough.

Of course, it’s all been handed down to me, as my father did, and his father before him. We are stablehands, who keep watch over the king’s mounts, who treat them and care for them as we would our own children.

After all, each of these horses are worth more than my entire life’s wages.

It’s no easy life, but it is satisfying work, and that’s all that matters. Day in and out, completing the same routine.

It is good if the schedule is not messed up. It is good if the horses remain sound, in good shape and ready to go, should a messenger require them, should the king want them. It is well as it is, and I would greatly prefer that it stay this way.

-----

You are in the kitchens again, wheedling an apple from one of the cooks. Different day, same circumstance, and it’s a wonder that no one has kicked you out yet.

“Alright, out with ya.” The head cook bustles over and knocks your hand away from the food with her spoon. “Ya can only ‘ave one if ya do a favour, got it?”

You nod enthusiastically. Her ‘favours’ are never too big.

“Tha’ basket’s for the ‘orses. Them’s the good ones, an’ His Majesty wants ‘em fed first, so no pinching.” She glares to make her point, and you grin. The lady knows you too well.

“If yer good, the stablehand might give ya one. ‘e’s a good lad, I ‘eard.” She waves you off, turning back to the pot, and you know you’ve been dismissed.

You shrug and pick up the basket, grunting under its weight, easy smile falling when your back is turned.

You hate the stables, but no one needs to know that.

You’re only in it for the apples.

-----

There’s a great scraping and huffing coming from the entrance of the stable, and the horse I’m currying sticks his nose over the door to investigate. I finish brushing the last swirl on his flank and walk over to open the door, pushing him back when he wants to get out.

Oh. Apples. That explains his curiosity.

I wait for the boy to put his basket down, his face almost as red as the fruit he carries. His hair is an absolute mess, though how exactly it got that way from carrying a basket across the grounds, I cannot tell.

“Those for the horses?” I nod towards the basket, and in between wheezes, he nods.

“Put them over there, by that door. I’ll come along in a minute.”

He looks a little put out by my response, but I ignore it. If he’s hoping to filch one of the fruits, he can wait till he proves himself. I know the cook always leaves a few extra in there.

I push back into the stall and finish grooming the horse, cleaning his hooves out before I pack up the kit and step out. The boy is sitting by the door, polishing an apple with his tunic, and from the way his pocket sports an odd bulge, I know he has already taken a few of the fruit.

“Hey,” I call, and he looks up with a crooked grin. He has the nerve to tuck the apple into his other pocket, and his smirk tells me that he doesn’t care what I think.

I sigh. “I’m going to open the door, and you can put the basket inside. You can stay and help me cut them up for the horses, or you can go. I know you’ve taken some.”

“Who, me?” The boy places a hand over his heart with a gasp. “What false accusations!”

“Then do me a favour and remove yourself.” I leave the grooming kit on the floor as I unlock the door, turning to drag the apples inside by myself.

By the time I get the basket in and go back out for the grooming kit, the boy is gone.

Good riddance.

-----

You sneak back in through the kitchens after washing your face in the barrel outside. The stables are as disgusting as ever, and that you were dismissed as quickly as that is a miracle.

“Oi, lad! Come ‘ere and share yer bounty with us, I see yer pockets are full.”

…trust the cook to not miss anything. You can’t even run off, what with the entire kitchen staring at you. You walk over to her reluctantly, trying to ignore her huge grin.

“I take it the stablehand took a liking to ya. Nobody gets away with tha’ many on their first try.”

The stares make the back of your neck burn, and you croak out an unintelligible reply.

She doesn’t seem to notice, and slaps you heartily on the back. “Well then! Next week ya can take ‘em to the stables agin. It’ll be good work for ya, yer too skinny.”

You think you splutter a protest, but she’s having none of it, and the weight of expectations makes your head bow in reluctant acceptance.

-----

I hear the same scraping as the previous week, and a quick peek out of the stall shows the same servant boy with the apples.

Odd. The cook hardly sends the same one twice in a row.

“Hey, mister. Same place as last time?”

Gah. He’s looking over the stall door.

“Yes. Try not to take so many apples this time. We almost ran out last week.”

He tips an imaginary cap to me and shuffles off without another word. I raise my eyebrows, exchanging a look with the horse, but she’s not even looking at me. I huff and turn back to brushing out her mane.

If the boy wants to take the apples and not make conversation, that’s fine by me. As long as he’s polite and does his job well, I don’t particularly care.

-----

The stablehand seemed nicer, you think. You have no problem complying with his request, because you don’t actually need so many apples, but it was interesting to try and fool him.

In fact, he seems to be a fairly decent person, and you might make an effort to befriend him, smelly stables or no. You’ve never had a source inside the stables before, as far removed from the castle as it is. This might be an endeavour worth the risk.

If you manage to achieve all this… Well. Perhaps being a delivery boy wouldn’t be quite so bad, after all.

-----

It’s been several months now, and the routine hasn’t changed.

“Yakkun! Didja miss me?”

I sigh and place a hand on the horse’s flank, but she doesn’t startle. Even the horses are used to the scrape of the apple basket, and Kuroo’s loud voice following it.

“Not if you keep causing a ruckus like that.” I prop my arms over the stall door, pushing myself up so I can glare at him. “How many times have I told you not to yell in the stables?”

“Eh.” Kuroo waves a hand dismissively after setting the basket down. “I’m your favourite person, you don’t mind.”

“If you bother the horses, I definitely mind.”

“Touchy, touchy.” Kuroo pulls the door open, dragging the basket in. “I’ll start cutting them first.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Funny, how in the span of a few months, I didn’t just get a permanent apple delivery boy, but also a friend. He was really annoying at first, but now, he’s at least halfway decent.

I wash my hands before I step up to the cutting board next to him, a knife already ready for me to use. We cut in silence until the bucket is full, then Kuroo washes up while I take the apples to the horses.

“You comin’ along today?”

An old question, a worn routine.

“Maybe. I could meet you at the end of the row.”

“Hmm.”

Half an agreement, but Kuroo never joins me to feed them. Maybe he’s afraid of the beasts, maybe he doesn’t like the place, I’ll never know. But it’s not my place to ask, so I don’t, leaving the room instead.

-----

You hate the stables, but your new friend loves them. No matter how many times you come to this dreaded place, you can never bring yourself to like it, nor can you stay in it for long.

But today is a special occasion, a rumour you heard by chance, and you’re willing to stay behind a little longer, just for this.

The end of the row can be accessed from around the building, so you take the long way. It gives you a chance to check that your gift is properly wrapped, to make sure that your effort didn’t go to waste.

You reach the other entrance of the stables all too quickly, and you can see your friend’s figure quickly approaching.

You take a deep breath. You can be tolerant, if only for a few minutes.

You step forward, and hurry towards him.

-----

A hand dips into my bucket, snatching a piece of apple, and I stare in equal parts surprise and shock to see Kuroo there. He offers the treat to the stallion, flat on his palm, and the sight stuns me further.

I’ve never seen him in the stables, but he knows how to feed a horse?

“What are you doing here?”

“Feeding the horses with you,” he replies easily, and picks up another slice. “How many can they have?”

“Two,” I say, still a little dumbstruck at his presence.

“Close your mouth, you’re catching flies.”

I shut my mouth and hit him with the bucket. His wince makes the earlier shock worth it.

“Okay, but really, what are you doing here?” I hold a piece of apple out to the next horse, glancing at him. “You never come with me.”

“Am I banned from coming with you?”

“No, just– You’ve never come before, why now?”

“Maybe I’m just this nice.”

“That’s horseshit.”

“The one time I tell the truth, and you don’t believe me.” Kuroo sniffs, but it’s faker than the heavily made up faces of nobility.

“You don’t get to bust in here after half a year of refusing with no good reason, friend or no.”

Kuroo gasps. “Why, Yakkun, are you admitting we are friends?”

“Please die.”

“No, no way. The aloof stablehand admits to friendship! Man, I could get Alisa to polish the silver for me for weeks.” Kuroo laces his hands behind his head, walking backwards to the next stall. I scowl at his nonchalance as I follow.

“Do whatever you want, but out of my stable if you’re only here to make trouble.”

“Ye of little faith.” He shakes his head and picks a slice for the last stallion. “I come with only the purest of intentions.”

“Whatever those might be.”

“As I said: little faith.” Kuroo dusts his hands off and walks to the rain barrel to wash them. I roll my eyes at him as I give the stallion a scratch on his neck, taking my time to follow.

It surprises me again when Kuroo decides to walk back to the feed room with me, and with the way he was whistling, you’d think he was completely unaffected. But I can see the tiny crease in the bridge of his nose, the narrowing of his eyes, and I know that he isn’t as pleased as he makes out to be.

“Alright, out with it. Why are you still here and why are you acting so happy?”

Kuroo side-eyes me and I frown. He smirks just a little before relenting, “So a little birdie told me something.”

“Mmhmm?”

“A little kitty, but you know, details–”

“Spit it out, Kuroo.”

He stops walking, and I do too. I can see the horses next to us putting their heads over the doors, stretching their necks out in hopes of more apple, but I try to ignore them.

Kuroo’s neck is turning a mottled red, and he reaches into his tunic, pulling out a small package. “Happy birthday. It’s a bit squashed, but it’s the best I could barter from the cooks.”

I take it gingerly, unwrapping the brown paper. Three slices of cake, rich golden brown and oozing with honey.

I pry my gaze from the gift, gaping at him. “How…?”

“You’re welcome,” he tells me, then grabs my shoulders and turns me towards the feed room. “Eat those somewhere the horses can’t get them, yeah?”

“I– Just– Honey cakes?” My voice is too high, bordering on hysteria.

“You're only twenty once, right?”

“But honey cakes? Kuroo, that’s a bit much, even for you–”

“It’s your birthday. Just shut up and eat.” He pushes us inside the feed room, unhooking the bucket from over my arm. His fingers brush my arm, and the weirdest tingle spreads up from the spot. I rub at the spot absently, still staring at the cake.

“Yakkun. I’m gonna eat those for you if you don’t.”

“Oh, no, you’re not.” I twist away from him immediately, lifting a slice to my mouth. A single bite is like an explosion of flavour in my mouth: rich and sweet and sticky, all too delicious.

I can feel Kuroo watching me, and turn back to glare. “Stop staring.”

“You look like a mouse like that,” he says, and puffs out his cheeks. “Fat and fluffy.”

“Stop looking at me then.”

“I never said there was anything wrong with fat and fluffy.”

“Stop watching me eat.”

“I do what I like.” Kuroo crosses his arms, and I notice something odd.

“You’ve got flour on your fingers.”

“Huh?” Kuroo looks at his hands, blinking in surprise and wiping his fingers on his trousers. “Hey, it won’t come off.”

“When did you touch flour? That wasn't there earlier.” I wrap up the remaining slices and tuck them away, looking for a wet cloth for him to clean his hands with.

“No idea. There wasn’t anything when we came in either.”

“Huh. That’s weird.”

“Hey, you’ve got something on you too.”

“What?”

“C’mere.” Kuroo waves me over, catching my wrist and prodding at a bright red patch on my arm. “This thing.”

There’s that weird tingle again, and as I watch, tendrils of red creep out from under where Kuroo’s hand presses to my skin. “Uh. Kuroo.”

“What?”

It’s a split second before he notices, and then he drops my arm, as if burned, turning up his palms to stare at them.

Where a giant red handprint is printed onto my wrist, his palm is stark white, as if he dipped it in flour.

I reach out tentatively, and when he doesn’t move, I press a few fingers to his wrist. We both watch as the tingly feeling gives way to white blotches spreading across his skin, red crawling up my fingers.

Well. How’s that for a surprise.

“Uh. You can take your hand off me now…?”

I snatch my hand back, and neither of us make eye contact, looking elsewhere, anywhere but at the other.

“So, uh,” I cough lightly. “Do you believe in soulmates?”

“…Yaku, that’s literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“What do you want me to say?!”

“I don’t know!” Kuroo throws his hands up in the air. “This is awkward!”

“Glad to know you feel the same!” I fold my arms and glare at him. “I never thought I’d ever meet my soulmate, and now it turns out it’s just you.”

“’Just me’? I would inform you that I am a great catch, and everybody in the castle is after me–”

“No, they’re not. Stop lying to yourself.”

“At least I try.”

“Eww. No thanks.”

“I could say the same.”

Another awkward pause.

“Uh. So.”

“I should get going, maybe?”

We speak at the same time, and the semblance of normalcy it brings almost makes me laugh.

“Yeah. Go. I’ll see you next week, I guess?”

“Yeah. The head cook refuses to let anyone else bring the apples at this point.”

“I wonder why.”

“It makes less apples disappear during the rest of the week, but you didn’t hear that from me.” Kuroo winks, and I roll my eyes with a smile.

“Goodbye. Thanks again for the cake.”

“Ah, yeah. No problem.”

-----

You believe in chance, because chance is the only reason why you could have ever found your soulmate, irritating though he is.

(You have grown fond of him, but he need not know that.)

It was chance that made the cook send you with the apples. Chance that you kept going, chance that you touched his skin by accident, and discovered that you can paint each other in opposing colours.

You’ve always been lucky, but that was a chance you didn’t know you needed.

-----

I know what Kuroo says. Chance this and chance that.

Rubbish.

It was circumstance that brought us together. If we had never been in the same castle to begin with, if the cook hadn’t needed someone to bring the apples to me, if Kuroo hadn’t stayed to give me the cake…

But ifs are intangible, and those events have already happened.

And maybe we’ll argue forever on the logistics of how we finally discovered that we are soulmates, but it’s something that I don’t really mind.

After all, we’ve found each other now, and forever is just a milestone.

#kuroyaku weekend 2017 #hq fanfic #kuroyaku #kuroo tetsurou #yaku morisuke #my writing #medieval au #soulmate au #haikyuu!!

[ebenpink]

10 Natural Anxiety Remedies http://bit.ly/2ZQqnMT

Anxiety is normal. It’s something we all have experience with—to one degree or another. Most people are anxious about something that hangs over them and follows them around like a personal rain cloud. Then there’s the deeper but still familiar anxiety many of us carry. The anxiety about our self-worth. The anxiety of performance, of social situations. This type can grip us in an uncomfortable, but hopefully not chronic, way.

But not all anxiety is run-of-the-mill—or manageable. People with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, for instance, might have trouble leaving the house, ordering a coffee from Starbucks, going to work. Anxious thoughts cycling through their brains often keep them up at night. When untreated, people with this level of anxiety can end up living in a state of perpetual fear.

The conventional approach is to take anti-anxiety meds, which can be genuinely life-saving for some people. Nonetheless, these can come with downsides that vary depending on an individual’s dosage and reactions—and the nature of the particular medication itself. Some meds result in few side effects, but others’ effects can be heavy. For instance, there are the benzodiazepines, highly-addictive tranquilizers with the potential for abuse. They make driving unsafe. They lower productivity. They sedate you. When necessary for the severity of the condition, these side effects may be worth it.

In other cases, a person might have more space to experiment and want to explore a different route.

In some cases, people choose to try natural anxiety aids. These are supplements, nutrients, and herbs that have been designed across millennia by nature (and maybe some input from green-thumbed healers). They might not always be enough for something as serious as a clinical anxiety disorder (please talk to your doctor before making any adjustment or addition to your medication), but at least some may be important complements to a prescribed regimen.

For those who want or need an alternative strategy for anxiety beyond meditative practices and general good health, these natural remedies may be worth a try.

First, the NUTRIENTS….

These are basic vitamins, minerals, and amino acids that your body needs to work. They are non-negotiable. You don’t have to get them through supplements—in fact, that should be a last resort after food—and I wouldn’t expect “drug-level” effects, but you do need to get them.

1. Long Chained Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Some human evolution experts maintain that the human brain wouldn’t be the human brain without steady and early access to coastal food resources—fish and shellfish rich in long chain omega-3s. If the long-chained omega-3s found in fatty fish and other sea creatures made our brains what they are today, it’s safe to assume that our brains work better when we eat them today. And if we’re talking about anxiety, that appears to be the case:

Studies in substance abusers find that supplementing with enough fish oil (and, yes, here’s what I use regularly) to raise serum levels of the long chain omega-3 fatty acid EPA reduces anxiety, while increases in DHA (the other long chain omega-3) reduce anger. Rising EPA levels after supplementation predicted the reduction in anxiety.

In healthy young medical students, omega-3 supplementation (2 grams EPA, 350 mg DHA) lowered inflammation and anxiety. Follow-up analyses revealed that reducing the serum omega-6:omega-3 ratio also reduced anxiety scores.

And in early pregnancy, high DHA levels predict low anxiety scores.

2. Magnesium

Magnesium deficiency is a risk factor for anxiety. The evidence, considered by some to be low quality, nonetheless suggests that supplementing with magnesium can reduce subjective anxiety. The mechanistic evidence is stronger, as magnesium is one of those minerals that plays a role in hundreds of very basic and essential physiological processes—including the generation of ATP, the body’s energy currency. Without adequate energy production, nothing works well. One’s mental health is no exception.

Magnesium supplementation reduces subjective anxiety (the only kind that matters) in the “mildly anxious” and in women with premenstrual syndrome.

Magnesium L-threonate, a form particularly good at getting into the brain, is worth trying for more immediate, noticeable effects.

3. Zinc

Zinc deficiency is common in people with anxiety, including Chinese males and Americans. And although mainlining oyster smoothies probably won’t fix serious anxiety, a follow-up in the group of Americans with low zinc levels found that zinc supplementation did reduce anxiety levels.

4. Vitamin B6

Vitamin B6, or pyridoxine, helps regulate production of serotonin and GABA—two neurotransmitters that control depression and anxiety. In mice exposed to anxiety-producing situations, pyridoxine increases GABA, reduces glutamate, and reduces anxiety. In humans, correcting a magnesium deficiency with magnesium and vitamin B6 has a stronger effect on anxiety than magnesium alone. (Good to note: women on hormonal birth control may be depleted of vitamin B6 as well as other vitamins and minerals.)

The best sources of vitamin B6 are turkey, beef, liver, pistachios, and tuna.

Now, the NATURAL INTERVENTIONS….

These aren’t essential nutrients. Rather, they’re plant compounds with pharmacological effects and, in most cases, hundreds of years of traditional usage for dampening, inhibiting, or resolving anxiety.

5. Kanna

Kanna comes from a succulent plant native to South Africa. The story goes that an anthropologist noticed elderly San Bushmen nibbling on a particular type of succulent plant while displaying incredible cognitive ability and remaining calm, cool, and collected. The fact that they weren’t dealing with daily commutes, traffic jams, annoying bosses, and mounting bills probably had something to do with it, but it turns out that the succulent plant wasn’t hurting the cause.

Kanna has been shown to dampen the subcortical threat response, which is normally heightened in anxious states. It also increased well-being and resistance to stress in health adults who took it in a safety study.

6. Theanine

Theanine, an amino acid found in green tea and available as a supplement, isn’t going to obliterate your nerves before a big performance. One study showed that it (along with the benzodiazepine Xanax) reduced resting state anxiety but not experimentally-induced anxiety. Then again, neither did Xanax.

Theanine is instead a mild anxiolytic. If you get anxiety from caffeine, take 200 mg of theanine with your coffee. It will smooth out the experience, reduce/remove the anxiety, and leave the stimulation.

7. Kava

Kava is a plant native to the South Pacific. Traditionally, its roots were chewed fresh with the resultant liquid often spit into communal bowls for consumption, pounded to release the moisture, or sun-dried, ground, and steeped in water to make an intoxicating, relaxing mild sedative. Nowadays, the active kavalactones are also extracted and pressed into capsules.

I don’t use kava, but I have tried it a couple times in the past. For what it’s worth, I don’t have anxiety issues but it did seem to pair well with caffeine (similar to theanine).

8. Rhodiola Rosea

Rhodiola rosea is a longtime favorite adaptogen of mine. It hails from the barren wastes of Siberia, where for millennia people from all over the ancient world coveted it. There’s something about the harsh environment of the northern tundra that made rhodiola rosea incredibly resilient—and bestows upon those who consume it a similar type of mental resilience.

A 2015 study sought to determine the impact of rhodiola on self-reported anxiety, stress, cognition, and a host of other mental parameters. Eighty subjects were divided into either a twice-daily commercial formula (containing 200 mg rhodiola) group or a control group. Compared to the controls, the rhodiola group showed notable improvements in mood and significant reductions in anxiety, stress, anger, confusion and depression after 14 days.

Rhodiola rosea, along with theanine, features prominently in my anti-stress (and anti-anxiety) supplement Adaptogenic Calm. (If you’re interested, here’s a video of me talking about how I use it.)

9. Lavender

There’s a great lavender farm on the island of Maui. One of the favorite memories from that trip is strolling through the fields of lavender, brushing against the leaves and flowers, just basking in the relaxing scent that permeated the entire property. A very low-stress environment, to be sure.

One study gave lavender oil capsules to major depressive disorder patients suffering from anxiety who were already taking antidepressants. Not only did adding the lavender reduce anxiety, it also improved sleep.

Perhaps the most impressive study is this one, where generalized anxiety disorder patients either received lavender oil or a benzodiazepine anti-anxiety drug. Patients receiving the lavender had the same beneficial effects as the benzo patients without the sedation.

Lavender oil aromatherapy also seems to reduce anxiety, at least in cancer patients. One weakness of aromatherapy research is the difficulty of giving a “placebo smell.” Essential oil scents are quite distinct.

10. CBD Oil

As I wrote a couple weeks ago, CBD is the non-psychoactive cannabinoid found in cannabis.

Most recently, a large case series (big bunch of case studies done at once) was performed giving CBD to anxiety patients who had trouble sleeping. Almost 80% had improvements in anxiety and 66% had improvements in sleep (although the sleep improvements fluctuated over time).

In a five-year-old girl with PTSD (a category of patient that just shouldn’t exist) in whom pharmaceutical anxiety medications did not work, CBD oil provided lasting relief from anxiety.

Here’s how to find a good CBD oil.

What do you folks like for anxiety? What’s worked? What hasn’t? What did I miss?

Thanks for reading, everyone. Take care.

//

//

References:

Cunnane SC, Crawford MA. Energetic and nutritional constraints on infant brain development: implications for brain expansion during human evolution. J Hum Evol. 2014;77:88-98.

Boyle NB, Lawton CL, Dye L. The effects of magnesium supplementation on subjective anxiety. Magnes Res. 2016;29(3):120-125.

Mccarty MF. High-dose pyridoxine as an ‘anti-stress’ strategy. Med Hypotheses. 2000;54(5):803-7.

Walia V, Garg C, Garg M. Anxiolytic-like effect of pyridoxine in mice by elevated plus maze and light and dark box: Evidence for the involvement of GABAergic and NO-sGC-cGMP pathway. Pharmacol Biochem Behav. 2018;173:96-106.

De souza MC, Walker AF, Robinson PA, Bolland K. A synergistic effect of a daily supplement for 1 month of 200 mg magnesium plus 50 mg vitamin B6 for the relief of anxiety-related premenstrual symptoms: a randomized, double-blind, crossover study. J Womens Health Gend Based Med. 2000;9(2):131-9.

Lu K, Gray MA, Oliver C, et al. The acute effects of L-theanine in comparison with alprazolam on anticipatory anxiety in humans. Hum Psychopharmacol. 2004;19(7):457-65.

Terburg D, Syal S, Rosenberger LA, et al. Acute effects of Sceletium tortuosum (Zembrin), a dual 5-HT reuptake and PDE4 inhibitor, in the human amygdala and its connection to the hypothalamus. Neuropsychopharmacology. 2013;38(13):2708-16.

Nell H, Siebert M, Chellan P, Gericke N. A randomized, double-blind, parallel-group, placebo-controlled trial of Extract Sceletium tortuosum (Zembrin) in healthy adults. J Altern Complement Med. 2013;19(11):898-904.

Fißler M, Quante A. A case series on the use of lavendula oil capsules in patients suffering from major depressive disorder and symptoms of psychomotor agitation, insomnia and anxiety. Complement Ther Med. 2014;22(1):63-9.

Woelk H, Schläfke S. A multi-center, double-blind, randomised study of the Lavender oil preparation Silexan in comparison to Lorazepam for generalized anxiety disorder. Phytomedicine. 2010;17(2):94-9.

Shannon S, Opila-lehman J. Effectiveness of Cannabidiol Oil for Pediatric Anxiety and Insomnia as Part of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: A Case Report. Perm J. 2016;20(4):16-005.

The post 10 Natural Anxiety Remedies appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

from Mark's Daily Apple http://bit.ly/2VBpSY2 via IFTTT http://bit.ly/2J89rLV

#IFTTT #Blogger

[gffa]

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s Crying About STAR WARS Time and I love that apparently it’s a never-ending font of things to cry about in the GFFA. But, hey, at least sometimes it’s crying in a good way? So, here, come cry some more with me about these space monks with their laser swords. STAR WARS FIC RECS: ✦ House of Cards by Smitty, obi-wan & anakin & oc, 23.8k    Just when Obi-Wan thinks he has life figured out, a shadowy bounty hunter proves him wrong. ✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & mace & rex & cast, 31.2k wip    The Daughter has a bad day and it irrevocably changes the fate of the galaxy, twice over. Or; ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels. ✦ Obikin Ficlet: Exotic Dancer AU by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, imperial!obi-wan, 1k    Prompt: “Exotic dancer!Anakin giving a private dance to sith lord!imperial general!Obi-Wan and they haven’t seen each other in 6 months. They missed each other and Obi-Wan just wants to touch Anakin but Anakin won’t let him.” ✦ Clarity by anecdotalist, obi-wan/anakin & anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast,    Anakin’s jealousy leads to the start of something new between him and Obi-Wan and a lot of frank discussions about things they should have talked about but didn’t in canon. ✦ Do Not Go Gentle by Glare, obi-wan/anakin, a/b/o, 4.8k wip    Anakin Skywalker is only six months into his Jedi training when he goes missing on a mission, bringing his Master’s life crashing down. ✦ untitled by gaealynn, obi-wan/anakin, mild bondage, 1.9k    I propose – an Obi-Wan who indulges one of Anakin’s tantrums and is startled to find that he, ah, doesn’t quite mind letting Anakin tie him up and dote on him; and an Anakin who is over the moon at being allowed to do so. ✦ Choices by writegowrite, obi-wan & krell, sith!obi-wan, ~1k    The path to the dark was easier than Obi-Wan had ever thought it could be. ✦ Reunion by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, ~1k    It has been nine minutes since Darth Vader arrived on the Rebel reconnaissance ship. ✦ Lights Will Guide You Home by darlingargents, obi-wan/padme & potential obi-wan/anakin/padme & luke/ezra & leia & ahsoka & cast, 27.3k wip    Obi-Wan knew that if he didn’t leave now, Padmé would die. And so he made his decision. ✦ untitled by silvergryphon, leia & mace, 1.7k    Everyone expected Leia to follow in her mother’s footsteps. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, padme & background anakin/padme, 1.2k    Padmé stares at the clock on her bedside table. She knows it’s time to get up and get ready to face the day, but she… She doesn’t want to. ✦ untitled by lurkingcrow, obi-wan & luke, 1.2k    Obi-Wan braces against the bulkhead as yet another refugee pushes past him, attention focused upon the growing food line rather than the bedraggled figure hunched over his precious cargo. ✦ untitled by fireflyfish, obi-wan/anakin & cast, pirate!obi-wan, 1.9k    All things considered, Darth Vader was taking the news of growing pirate fleet surprisingly well, thought Lieutenant Piett as he followed after the towering, black-suited menace. full details + recs under the cut!

✦ House of Cards by Smitty, obi-wan & anakin & oc, 23.8k    Just when Obi-Wan thinks he has life figured out, a shadowy bounty hunter proves him wrong.    It would probably help to have read “The House That Obi-Wan Built” and “Sofa, So Good” before this one, but it’s not absolutely necessary and all you really need to know is that Obi-Wan has decided to train Anakin on Malastare instead of on Coruscant and, of course, shenangigans happen along the way. My one caveat about this fic is that it spends more time on the OC than I could really quite get into, so I wound up feeling a bit distracted during those parts, but the Obi-Wan and Anakin stuff is just as delightful as the other fics in this series. I really love this author’s take on both of them, especially that there’s a sense of sharp fun to the both of them, there’s a weight to both characters that strikes me as true, that this can be a warm-hearted fic, but I wouldn’t really call it fluffy, either. Especially in the interaction between Obi-Wan and Anakin, you can tell the author loves both of them and there’s this great exchange that had me cackling: “I have some errands to do. I want you to work on that patience exercise I taught you yesterday.” “All morning?” “No, Anakin. Your line is, ‘Yes, Master. Your every wish is my command. I live only to serve.’ No, go medidtate.” because, oh my god, that’s it, that’s them, it’s hilarious and perfect. For all that this was apparently posted in 1999, it really holds up as a great sense of who these characters are and how they’d interact! ✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & mace & rex & cast, 31.2k wip    The Daughter has a bad day and it irrevocably changes the fate of the galaxy, twice over. Or; ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels.    I am so glad I stumbled over this fic and got caught up in it because it really was a whole lot of fun! I do have the caveat that it’s rough around the edges and takes a chapter or two to get going, but once I was in the thick of things, I was absolutely engrossed in it and the heart of the fic is on the Obi-Wan & Anakin relationship and it is absolutely so satisfying with that. Swapping places with their older/younger selves leads to some important discussions for ROTS!Obi-Wan&Anakin, which, let me tell you, I was glued to my reader during that conversation because it was just exactly what my heart wanted from it! But also, TPM!Obi-Wan&Anakin in the future, stumbling over everything going to hell as it does during ROTS, and how they’re thrown into this mixed up world and start to bond and obviously complement each other right from the start, was also deeply satisfying. It’s a fic that’s also about their relationships with other people, but it’s very much revolved around these two characters and their relationship, which is what I picked this fic up hoping for and got something that I really got hooked on and would absolutely read another 100k of this. It’s good-hearted and clearly loves them both, loves everyone in this world (except for Palpatine, but fuck that guy) and, though the shit they go through is difficult and painful, I feel like this is a story about hope, even in the most dire circumstances, I feel like it’s a story about giving the characters the room to set things right. And that sense of how the people they meet are so good–it was so much fun to see Mace being kind, so much fun to see Rex being kind, so much fun to see Padme being kind, so much fun to see Qui-Gon being kind–in addition to Obi-Wan and Anakin having space to work shit out, ahhhh, that’s so very, very much my jam. ✦ Obikin Ficlet: Exotic Dancer AU by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, imperial!obi-wan, 1k    Prompt: “Exotic dancer!Anakin giving a private dance to sith lord!imperial general!Obi-Wan and they haven’t seen each other in 6 months. They missed each other and Obi-Wan just wants to touch Anakin but Anakin won’t let him.”    Oh, this didn’t have to be long to have entirely caught my attention! It had some absolutely lovely imagery here, which isn’t always easy with dancer!AU fics, but this one really worked, it brought to mind so many echoes of canon, so many moments where I could so easily see the Anakin I know in the way he moved, in the way acted/reacted towards Obi-Wan. And the tension between the two characters was absolutely delicious, they never even had to touch for me to be practically on the edge of my seat! Give me a beautiful image and a compelling AU scenario and I’m totally gone, which this one did so well. ✦ Clarity by anecdotalist, obi-wan/anakin & anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast,    Anakin’s jealousy leads to the start of something new between him and Obi-Wan and a lot of frank discussions about things they should have talked about but didn’t in canon.    Chapters 14-15: This is an update rec and will focus on these chapters, rather than the fic as a whole. When SW fandom gets busy or when I run into a streak of fics I haven’t come across before, sometimes others that I’m keeping up with get pushed down on my reader and it takes me time to get back to them just because of the way I read. And this one came up for me again recently and I just slid right back into it, where we’re in the thick of things at this point–one of the things I so enjoyed about the fic up to this point is that, even when shit was happening, it felt like there was breathing room for the relationships, both Obikin and Anidala, so I feel like there’s a good base to build on, when the shit hits the fan, as it’s been doing in these chapters. Order 66 has come and that means plot-related things! And it’s really interesting to see how things change because Obi-Wan and Anakin are in different places in their lives, just different enough that things go a little differently. And, who knows, maybe that means not much will change or maybe it’ll mean everything will change, but the point is in the journey there. I’m especially enjoying Bant’s addition to the story–for all that I’m glad the JA books have been contradicted and de-canonized, she’s one of the things I would love to see rescued from them and she’s lovely in this story, this is part of why I love her character so much, that she can provide such heart as she does here. And I also love that, for all that he’s turned a bit more towards a more stable path, Anakin is still absolutely a mess and still absolutely emotionally unstable and in real danger of falling or doing terrible things. And that makes the journey he goees through so much more satisfying for me! And I enjoyed the struggle to understand what’s happening to the clones! And, oh, there’s a conversation between Obi-Wan and Padme in chapter 15–an argument, really–that is so good for me, because so many people overlook that the Jedi were dying in that war, they were overburdened and the Senate was corrupt and they may not have been perfect, but they certainly laid down their lives to try to save people and the Senate did not. And Padme, with all her passion and compassion, cares so deeply and sometimes gets swept away and she’s all the better a person for recognizing that sometimes. Neither of them is the enemy here and I’d have read this fic just for that lovely conversation alone, never mind all the other good plot stuff happening and the ships! But that I get all of it is wonderful. ✦ Do Not Go Gentle by Glare, obi-wan/anakin, a/b/o, 4.8k wip    Anakin Skywalker is only six months into his Jedi training when he goes missing on a mission, bringing his Master’s life crashing down. Unable to recover from the loss, Alpha Obi-Wan Kenobi grieves his Padawan’s uncertain fate, unaware that his life would once again be turned on end with the arrival of an Omega Sith Lord to the Temple ten years later.    This fic had me at a/b/o dynamics, which I’m weak to! But then it hooked me with the actual story, with alpha!Obi-Wan having lost omega!Anakin as a Padawan, never knowing where he went or who took him and while that first chapter is intriguing and engaging, it was the reunion in chapter two that really got me. I’m a sucker for a good epic reunion kind of scene and this one gave me everything I was looking for, the fighting and the use of alpha/omega dynamics and the hints at past terrible things that happened and an unbreakable bond that still exists between the two of them, even more about the emotional side than any physical side that might still be there. It’s one of those iddy fics that’s well-written and those tend to be my favorites, the ones I look forward to most and will just flail over the most and think about the most. The reunion here was so satisfying that, even if you’re usually on the fence about WIPs, I’d still recommend this one because it has a lot of the good stuff already. And I am super eager to see where this goes! ✦ untitled by gaealynn, obi-wan/anakin, mild bondage, 1.9k    I propose – an Obi-Wan who indulges one of Anakin’s tantrums and is startled to find that he, ah, doesn’t quite mind letting Anakin tie him up and dote on him; and an Anakin who is over the moon at being allowed to do so.    Oh, this was actually really warm-hearted and kind of fluffy! I love that it’s very much about Anakin not being a reliable narrator and being kind of an emotional mess and losing his shit when he worries about Obi-Wan, so Obi-Wan has to find a way to indulge Anakin after a tantrum and that winds up with letting Anakin literally tie him down and feed him and watch over him while he sleeps and the whole thing. I love it because Anakin is such a mess about it and so very, very needy and really does need Obi-Wan’s attention and indulgeance and it just was really surprisingly sweet for a bondage fic! I enjoyed it a lot. ✦ Choices by writegowrite, obi-wan & krell, sith!obi-wan, ~1k    The path to the dark was easier than Obi-Wan had ever thought it could be.    This is a short piece, just a bit over 600 words, but it’s a lovely one about a moment that changes everything, where Obi-Wan has two paths laid out in front of him, one to the light and one to the dark, just a single decision that has consequences either way, and will eventually lead him into the dark. It’s a lovely look that continues the themes of The Clone Wars–that there are no truly easy choices in war, that sometimes there aren’t good options, and that sometimes sacrificing a bit of yourself is what will save more people, and yet you can’t know if that was the right choice. But it’s the id-pleasing choice and this was very, very nicely done! ✦ Reunion by writegowrite, obi-wan/anakin, ~1k    It has been nine minutes since Darth Vader arrived on the Rebel reconnaissance ship.    I don’t know how I missed this one before, but it’s a lovely and heartbreaking look at how the reunion between Obi-Wan and Anakin might have done in a different world, how some things change and some things still echo canon. It’s not a happy fic, but it’s beautifully written and has a lot of emotional weight to it and was a really, really great read. ✦ Lights Will Guide You Home by darlingargents, obi-wan/padme & potential obi-wan/anakin/padme & luke/ezra & leia & ahsoka & cast, 27.3k wip    Obi-Wan knew that if he didn’t leave now, Padmé would die. And so he made his decision.    Chapters 4-5: This is an update rec and will focus on these chapters, rather than the fic as a whole. I’m still in love with this fic, where Obi-Wan and Padme try to piece their lives back together after Anakin’s fall, as well as fight back against this Empire and whatever it is that Anakin has become. And this is a truly monstrous, fallen Anakin (though, we’ve only seen him through others’ povs so far), especially in the scene he has with Padme, which is awful and terrible and it hurts me, but I can’t say it’s against Anakin’s character, even as I still love him and want redemption for him, want him to work towards that again someday. And also Obi-Wan and the twins meeting the Ghost crew! It’s a good balance between plot and characters/relationships, not a ton happened in these two chapters that I can specifically point to, but that made them no less engaging and this fic no less one that I’m always looking forward to when it updates. It’s a great read and if you like Padme Lives fic, it’s definitely worth picking up! ✦ untitled by silvergryphon, leia & mace, 1.7k    Everyone expected Leia to follow in her mother’s footsteps.    This is part of a larger AU, but I don’t think you really need context beyond that it’s a happier AU where Luke and Leia are being raised by their parents and the Jedi are still around. (Though, the quoted reblogs will fill you in, too!) What I fell in love with on this piece was, oh, both Leia and Mace were perfect. There was such weight to both of them, tiny little Leia with her anger about injustice and the sheer weight of Mace’s character, even as he was quiet and serene as he talked with her. You could feel the anger in both of them, but good anger and the short conversation they had was pitch perfect and so lovely and everything I want for both of them. I was in love with every inch of this one! ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, padme & background anakin/padme, 1.2k    Padmé stares at the clock on her bedside table. She knows it’s time to get up and get ready to face the day, but she… She doesn’t want to.    I really enjoyed this look at Padme’s character, in the Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan verse, where she clearly loves Anakin very much, but takes a really long, hard look at their marriage and that not everything about it is perfect. It’s not a fic that’s down on the relationship, I don’t think, but instead about exploring the cracks in the foundation that are there because that’s what makes them all the more interesting and I loved how flawed they both were and how that makes me love Padme all the more for her pov in this fic. It’s lovely and gentle and a good look at her character! ✦ untitled by lurkingcrow, obi-wan & luke, 1.2k    Obi-Wan braces against the bulkhead as yet another refugee pushes past him, attention focused upon the growing food line rather than the bedraggled figure hunched over his precious cargo.    This is another fic that came about via several tumblr conversations and, oh, it’s such a heartbreaking and yet lovely look at the transport Obi-Wan takes to Tatooine with Anakin’s child in his arms. The vast ocean of heartbreak that’s underneath every moment of this, even as he tries to be comforting to baby Luke, is just very well done and so, so nice to imagine Ewan McGregor’s singing in. ✦ untitled by fireflyfish, obi-wan/anakin & cast, pirate!obi-wan, 1.9k    All things considered, Darth Vader was taking the news of growing pirate fleet surprisingly well, thought Lieutenant Piett as he followed after the towering, black-suited menace.    Oh, this was totally silly and cracky and just pure fun. Set in the Accidental Pirate!Obi-Wan AU, this was all about the sheer amount of charm Obi-Wan has and how Darth Vader is hardly immune to it, even when they’re totally enemies now, for real, you guys. It’s light-hearted the entire way through, including the evenutal reunion, it’s a spoof and it’s hilarious! It’s one of those fics that’s based on the headcanons/tossed out scenarios that go around, the ones that aren’t meant to be taken super seriously, and yet still manages to be an entirely engaging, readable fic for it! It was just pure joy to read.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #obikin #fic recs #star wars fic recs

[mr-villainous]

all of the nsfw questions

1:When did you lose your virginity?

I was 16

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

Depends on the day

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

Define unusual. D/S, breathplay, spanking, I mean honestly most kinks. It’d be quicker to list what I don’t have.

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

I guess the woods behind my ex’s house.

5: Favourite sex position?

69 or doggy. Oh, and of course the Italian chandelier

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

More often dominant but depends on the day

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

I had one for the first time like a month or two ago

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

Bed

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Often

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

By my youngest brother, twice, by my oldest sister once or twice, and possibly by my parents.

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

I don’t have sexy underwear XD

12: How often do you have sex?

Pretty often. like daily usually while Katie’s home

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

A handful

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Receiving, but that’s saying something because I /love/ giving.

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

Off the top of my head, not being able to finish.

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

Closer by NiN

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

Anything from Random Access Memories by Daft Punk

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Like costumes, nah, but like, dressing up formally, yeah.

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

Shower

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

@mrs-villainous 

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

Yes

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

I do

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

No, I’ve always showered before sending nudes.

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

If they particularly wanted to or if we were doing like a group thing. But if you’re talking one on one purely based on my desire? No, not at all.

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

Cuddle, drink water.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

@mrs-villainous 

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

If I /had/ to choose I’d say early morning

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

Butt.

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

Chin? I don’t really have one.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

A broken hand-me-down clock. Sorry that’s not very nsfw.

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

It’s not really that the act itself was weird, but that the situation was weird. Close friend and I were having a threesome with my ex and we both stopped midway while going at it (both of us completely focused on her as he was totally no homo about it) we just stopped, looked at each other, and shared the most awkward kiss of my life. 

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Yeah. Salty. 

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

When you want kids

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

maybe the cliche ones like chocolate sauce or whipped cream

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

At a family event

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

Who the fuck doesn’t. 

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

when it hurts so much the pain outweighs the pleasure.

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

When my entire theatre group dubbed me a sexual demon

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

Neck kissing, butt grabbing, biting

40: What do you wear to bed?

Shorts and a t-shirt, my necklace. sometimes just my necklace.

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

Young.

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

$5 a pop.

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

Yeah, I have. Last time would’ve been a year or two ago? 

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

Have and would again. Not full on like in front of people, but in public spaces. and were it a legal and fully consensual option I’d probably have sex in front of people

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

Yarp.

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

A pair of underwear.

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

Gay, yes, because it turns me on. Lesbian, no, because it doesn’t turn me on.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

Yes. Are you kidding me? It’s fucking life changing.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

I’m fairly neutral but it definitely depends on the content

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

Hot.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

Hot Sauce.

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

Pornstar cos I like acting.

53: Do you watch porn?

Yea

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Tons of times. Cos I’m freaky.

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

Rarely around the house after sex when I need to go out to the common area for something, otherwise no.

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

No.

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

Yes.

58: Booty or Boobs?

Booty

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

No.

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

Masturbate, DP, Flirt with a ton of people, wear a skirt, wear lingerie

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

Yeah, it’s hot.

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Yes, it’s not hot.

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

My entire class once when the teacher called me up.

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

1. Hand on cock

2. Fucking rage

3. ??????

4. Profit.

65. What is your bra/penis size?

Average

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

shampoo bottle

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

This morning.

68. When was the last time you had sex?

Yesterday? or the day before. I lose track of days easily.

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

This morning.

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

Yes. A dildo and harness was last. First was a cuff set I believe. 

71. Guys:Circumsized?

I’m uncircumsized 

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Everything, but my shoulders, waist, and butt especially.

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

All of it.

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

That’d be wild.

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

I can’t remember a specific but I’m sure I have.

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

A full on wet dream, I’ve never had. A sex dream, last week.

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

My first one that involved @mrs-villainous

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

Lots.

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

Also lots.

80. Favorite sexual position? 

69/doggy/Italian Chandelier

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

Kinda a bit if the mood is right.

82. Are you into any BDSM?

Quite a bit

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

There are many people I have wanted to have sex with, there are many people I want to have sex with now, but know I can’t, and knew I couldn’t, because I have a mirror and a front facing camera.

84. Do you like dirty talk?

Yes

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

quiet because I am used to being quiet to not get caught.

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

Too many times, but a fucking line-up of people.

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Fucking all kinds. Like my kinks, it’d be easier to list what I’m not into.

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

A couple people, yes.

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

That’s like, my daily ritual when Katie isn’t home.

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

Again, yeah, just recently, and I haven’t spoken to them since, which is what they want I figure.

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

I’ve never had a friend with benefits but I’m still young....at heart....okay I’m still...living...so there’s a chance....I guess.

#Anonymous

[sevendeadlyseans]

10 (or 11) Movies Released Last Year That I Really Liked, 2016 Edition

Before I get to my “official” Top 10, one title has been excluded for consideration due to conflict of interest, but would otherwise top my list.  

Darling

Mickey Keating’s 3rd feature (produced by the fabulous Jenn Wexler, a.k.a. my girlfriend) is, of course, my favorite film of the year. I’ve seen it three times in theaters—twice in 2015 on the festival circuit, and again last April on opening night—and still keep finding new, subtle things about it to love.

The story: a young woman is paid to housesit a glorious old building while its eccentric owner is away. Is the house haunted? Is she unhinged? Maybe both? Star Lauren Ashley Carter—rightly recognized as “the Audrey Hepburn of indie horror” by The Austin Chronicle, is in almost every frame of the film and is never short of mesmerizing, whether answering the telephone, putting on make-up or getting her hands dirty by...well, let’s not give away the fun. 

The black and white cinematography is gorgeous, the score crawls under your skin and the editing is legit terrifying. Watch with the lights out.

And now back to our official, less personally biased top 10, in order...

Moonlight

Without question, the most accomplished, most moving film of 2016. 

James Joyce once noted, “In the particular is the universal.” Moonlight is atop my list in no small part because it’s so breathtaking in its particular intimacies. 

Moonlight is like Boyhood on a budget: it drops us into three important periods in the life of a boy who becomes a teen who becomes a man—at first bullied and confused, increasingly neglected by his crack-addicted mother and influenced by a kind-hearted, drug-dealing surrogate father. We see him harden, over time, under the pressure of a world with no use for softness, and then, perhaps, reconnecting with a lost bit of himself, at long last.  

Writing that synopsis, it strikes me how easily such a story could have tipped into cliché and melodrama. Perhaps because writer/director Barry Jenkins and playwright Tarell Alvin McCraney are both from the Liberty City projects themselves. their knowledge—coupled with a great cast, an impeccable soundtrack, a deft use of color and Jenkins’ masterful control of tone—l gives Moonlight specificity, and that makes it universal.

Jackie

Tone is a theme for the first three films on my 2016 list—four if you count Darling, and you most definitely should. Pablo Larrain’s Jackie puts us inside the experience of First Lady Jackie Kennedy in the aftermath of JFK’s assassination, in a way I never thought I could experience:

Your husband was just murdered; his blood is on your dress. Your life is cracked, and even if you put the pieces back together, nothing will ever be the same. Oh, and he’s the president—was the president—so your country is broken, too. History has its eye on you, so while the crushing weight of grief bears down, try to look good for the cameras. It’s only his legacy at stake.

It seems ludicrous to say that Oscar-nominated Natalie Portman is underrated, but somehow she is—and I adored her in Black Swan. In Jackie, she’s working at another level. Open and wounded when no one but us can see, calculating and brittle and angry before an eager reporter. I am excited to see Portman does next.

Special mention to Mica Levi’s score, her second feature after 2013′s Under the Skin. Can’t wait to hear what she does next, too. 

The Witch

Someone had the terrible idea to market The Witch as “the year’s scariest movie.” It’s not, nor is it trying to be. It is, however, among the most unsettling films of this year or any other. (Again: tone.)  

The story: it’s 17th century New England. William, his wife Katherine, and their five children have been kicked out of the settlement being too religious (it seems, or perhaps just too self-righteous) and must find a way to survive on their own on the fringes of the deep, dark wood. 

Before you have time to wonder if the titular witch might be metaphoric, she shows up and does something unspeakable to William and Katherine’s newborn son. Things go downhill from there, exacerbated by both outside, malevolent forces and unacknowledged tensions within the family unit.

The Witch looks gorgeous, as well it should. First-time director Robert Eggers made his bones as a production and costume designer, and reportedly built an actual, mostly working 17th century farm for the film. Even the dialogue itself was built out of scraps of things people wrote and said back then. You can feel the authenticity, which makes the family’s isolation feel that much more acute and dangerous. 

O.J.: Made in America

Bob Dylan never asked “How many minutes does a film have to be, before we can call it TV?” but the answer, my friend, is probably not much more than the 467 minute runtime of Ezra Edelman’s O.J.: Made in America. (For comparison, that’s almost 3 hours longer than a full season of HBO’s Veep.)

It doesn’t help that it was produced by ESPN, or that it aired on that cable network less than a month after it’s Oscar-qualifying theatrical run. And yet...it was my favorite documentary in a year of many great docs (more on that later), so if wants to call itself a movie, I’ll roll with it.

2014 marked the 20th anniversary of the murders. The revived attention around the so-called “trial of the century” led to two great works of art, Edelman’s doc and FX’s American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpson. (One can only wonder how our present political moment will be filtered through the culture of 2018).

Rather than produce O.J. overload, the two projects complement one another—the dramatic series taking us inside the lives and hearts of key figures on both legal teams, while the doc simultaneously expands the scope and deepens the focus—showing us more about who O.J. was before, during and after, and what America was and still is, especially but not only in Los Angeles, but also in Ferguson, on Staten Island, everywhere. If it takes Edelman 8 hours to set up all details to knock us down with his larger point, well, that’s 8 hours well spent. 

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrB3rOcrJxg&list

The Lobster

Yorgos Lanthimos’ Dogtooth was one of my favorite movies of 2010. He’s back on the list with a film that’s just as strange but far more accessible. 

I love absurdism, deadpan humor, magical realism and dystopian fantasy, but I can’t recall a film that manages the trick of juggling all three at once as The Lobster does—with an honest-to-goodness love story right there in the middle.

I’ll skip the premise—if you don’t know it, watch the trailer. 

The cast is great, and Colin Farrell is a revelation, topping my previous Farrell favorite, the criminally under seen In Bruges. Lanthimos packs the film with small details that make the surreal world of The Lobster believable. The first shot packs an entire story of love, betrayal and murder (which is never revisited) into a single, long take. And its final, wrenching moments will stay with me forever. 

Film critic Britt Hayes got to the heart of the filmmaker’s uncanny alchemy when she noted “Lanthimos doesn’t heighten reality to an absurd degree; he heightens the absurdity of our existing reality.” Or put another way, he doesn’t add absurdity, he just turns the heat up on reality and our own absurdity bubbles to the surface.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTNZmOJxuAc

Hail, Caesar!

There’s this other movie that’s sort of a throwback to old Hollywood, with some singing and dancing in it. That movie’s fine, but don’t hold your breath, it didn’t make my list. For my money, the real love letter to Hollywood—and why the movie industry matters—came from the Coen Brothers. 

Now, it wouldn’t be a Coens movie if that tender heart weren’t covered under many layers of arch cynicism, stylized reference bordering on “acting” “in” “quotation” “marks” and the occasional silliness. But you don’t have to peel much of it away to see the real love they have for not just the magic of movies but also the joy in so many abandoned film genres that once ruled the box office—be they Gene Kelly musicals, Gene Autry oaters or C.B. DeMille bible epics, to name but a few recreated here. 

For me, Hail, Caesar! sits perfectly between the sour cynicism of the Hollywood in Woody Allen’s misanthropic Cafe Society and the false romanticism of the ambition-for-ambition’s sake “dreamers" of La La Land who prize the warmth of the spotlight over any real human affection. 

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NYpz_j3e38

13th

Ava DuVernay’s 13th is a civics lesson for a country in dire need of one. With a controlled but searing ferocity, the documentary lays out the case that the 13th amendment allowed the continuation of a system of oppression and control not all that from slavery: the criminal justice system. If you haven’t read your Constitution lately, here’s a refresher on the 13th, the amendment that ostensibly ended slavery:

“Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.”

This one, terrible clause not just perpetuated slavery under another name but incentivized an expansion of the definition of criminality, in order to profit from the subjugation of mostly brown and black bodies, which has led to an explosion in America’s incarcerated population. In effect, through laws designed to maintain segregation, blackness itself has been criminalized.

With Jim Crow, redlining, lynching (terrorism by another name) and the like, the 13th has led to a more unequal society—and, indirectly, to leaders who lie and stoke racial, as well as religions and ethnic, divisions in order to maintain the ever-growing class divide from which they profit. 

This poor summation doesn’t do justice to the full weight of the case DuVernay and her experts make, or how well they make it. 13th should be required viewing by everyone, but most of all by those who hold the power to make and enforce the law.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V66F3WU2CKk

The Love Witch

Let’s start with the obvious: Anna Biller’s The Love Witch is a gorgeous film. Turn the sound off, re-order the scenes at random and you still can’t take your eyes off what looks like a lost Technicolor American Giallo from 1972. Biller not only wrote, edited and directed the film but also handled production design, art direction, set decoration and costuming, almost single-handedly crafting one of the best looking films of 2016. 

Beneath that dazzling frosting is a rich, feminist layer cake. Elaine is a witch specializing in sex magic, who believes her path to happiness lies in finding the right man, seducing him and pleasing him in every way. On paper, she’s a patriarchy’s dream come true. But when these lustful men inevitably fall short—as they all must, as patriarchy itself is built on a lie—she gets rid of them, permanently. Poor, unfulfilled Elaine. 

The Love Witch is Biller’s own magic trick, casting its spell over us with its color, its throwback ‘70s sexploitation vibe and its razor-sharp message we don’t notice until the blade has slid, quietly, between our ribs and stabbed us in the heart. Metaphorically.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXjDEDYlu7c

I, Daniel Blake

Daniel Blake has spent a lifetime working with his hands, supporting a modest but pleasant life for himself and his late wife. After a heart attack, his doctors tell him he’s not fit to return to work—yet with a simple questionnaire (and absent any input from his doctors), the government’s welfare bureau deems him too fit to qualify for disability. 

He can apply for unemployment benefits, but only if he’s actively seeking work—work which, according to his doctors, he can’t accept. Caught in a catch-22, he must appeal to an unreachable “decision-maker” for relief—provided he can find a way, without income or assistance, to get by while he waits. Then Daniel meets a single mother in stuck in a similar situation and does his best to help her struggling family, even as his own situation grows worse.

Ken Loach’s drama won the Palm D’Or at Cannes but has received not much notice since then, at least outside the UK, perhaps because of the specific criticism of the British welfare bureaucracy at the heart of the story. But you don’t need much imagination to see how things can be as bad or worse for the many Daniel Blakes of this country.

Loach has been making socially conscious films about the struggles of the working and lower classes for longer than I’ve been alive. As with Jenkins and Moonlight, it’s clear Loach knows this world, these people and their struggles, and knows how to tell their particular stories in a simple yet powerful, moving and universal way.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4KbJLpu7yo

The Handmaiden

Apologies if you’re getting whiplash. I went from a highly stylized Love Witch to a pared-down I, Daniel Blake. Now I’m going to swing back the other way with Park Chan-Wook’s sensual, sensuous The Handmaiden. 

As has been the case in years prior, the 10th (really, 11th) and final spot on my list could have gone to a number of worthy films, and almost did—I began writing up another film here before realizing there’s no way I could round out 2016 without giving The Handmaiden its due.  (Sorry, Elle!)

The story of The Handmaiden is...too complex to go into here, frankly. There’s a con man and his female accomplice. There’s a rich heiress and her controlling uncle. Some of them are Japanese occupiers; others native Koreans. Oh, ands there’s a library of dirty, dirty books. 

Cons are conned, crosses are doubled, no one is quite who they pretend to be and everyone is up to something. In the end, something real is found and, through it, freedom is won.

The Handmaiden is a thriller as elegant as it is perverse. Every change in perspective brings new meaning to all that’s come before. Every twist revealed is a delight. Park Chan-Wook is at the top of his game.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4Z5jfjxdvQ

Honorable Mentions & More 

Wait, don’t get up. There’s more! 

First, let’s start with honorable mentions that you already know are great: 

Paul Verhoeven’s psychological thriller Elle, which features Isabelle Huppert in one of my favorite performances of the year, or maybe ever.

Denis Villeneuve’s Arrival, which goes on my list of essential smart science fiction, along with Gattaca, Ex Machina, Primer and Under the Skin, to name a few.

Sing Street, one of the most joyful films of the year. A misfit ‘80s Irish teen starts a band so he can cast the girl he likes in their highly creative music videos. From John Carney, the filmmaker behind the equally charming Once.

Nicolas Winding Refn’s mad look at fashion, envy and unchecked ambition (kind of the anti-La La Land?), The Neon Demon.  

Next, films that might have been off your radar but are well worth seeking out:

Benjamin Dickinson’s Creative Control, a very-near-future sci-fi film about augmented reality, and the augmented lives we all want to pretend we’re living (at least on Instagram). A must-see for all my friends in media, marketing or technology. 

Elizabeth Wood’s directorial debut, White Girl, in which a New York City undergrad moves to Queens, dates her local corner drug dealer and learns first hand the limits of her privilege in both their lives.

Taika Waititi’s The Hunt for the Wilderpeople, a reluctant buddy comedy/coming-of-age film that’s way more fun than it has any right to be.

Todd Solondz’s Weiner-Dog, a dark, dark comedy stringing together four tales of unhappy people, all of whom at one point own the same sad canine. Or, for you hard-core cineastes: Au Hasard Dachshund.

American Honey, Andrea Arnold’s sprawling tale of wayward youth living for the moment across a vast swath of America, high and low.

The animated documentaries Tower, which looks back on America’s first campus mass shooting in a surprisingly moving way, and Nuts!, which is the rare doc with an unreliable narrator, which fits the unreliable (Trump-like) conman at the center of its story. 

Julian Rosefeldt’s Manifesto, which I was fortunate enough to experience as a multi-screen installation at the Park Avenue Armory but has been adapted (rather successfully, it seems) as a traditional film. Either way, Cate Blanchett takes on a dozen different guises in a sequence of stunning short films, the text of each comprised of bits of famous manifestos, from Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto to Jim Jarmusch’s Golden Rules of Filmmaking. 

And last, because the horror genre in near and dear to my heart, here’s #4-#10 on my year’s best horror list. (The top 3 being Darling, The Witch and The Love Witch.)

The Invitation

Green Room

Demon

Under the Shadow

Train to Busan

10 Cloverfield Lane

Southbound

Honorable mention: the “Happy Father’s Day” segment of Holidays

Past years: 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008

#movies bestof2016 #darling #moonlight #jackie #oj made in america #the witch #the love witch #the lobster #hail caesar #13th #i daniel blake #the handmaiden

[ladystylestores]

Sony WH-CH710N wireless noise-canceling headphones review

The Sony WH-CH710N are a relatively affordable pair of noise-canceling headphones. They are the successor to the CH700N, which we quite liked when we reviewed them two years ago. The CH710N continue the tradition of offering active noise-canceling at more reasonable pricing while also having a solid battery life.

Design

The design of the new CH710N is made to be more in line with the recent 2019-2020 Sony headphones. This means a more uniform and, frankly, a boring exterior that is just a single material, color, and texture used for the entirety of the headphone frame and earcups. The use of plastic here is also not particularly high quality, with a smooth matte texture that looks and feels a bit cheap. The headphones are also quite light, which further adds to the feeling of cheapness.

The CH710N offers a limited range of motion. You can adjust the headband height and the cups swivel back so you can place them flat on your chest when not in use but they don’t collapse inwards to make them easy to carry. There’s also no carry bag or case provided in the box.

The bottom edges of the earcups house all the buttons and ports. The right earcup has controls to adjust the volume and playback, along with a button that toggles between noise canceling and ambient sound modes. On the left ear cup are the power/pairing button, USB-C port for charging, and an audio jack for using in wired mode.

The overall build quality of the headphones is fine, even if they look and feel a bit cheap. They are unlikely to break easily but at the same time, I wouldn’t be too rough with them.

Comfort

The CH710N are quite average in terms of comfort. The main issue here is with the earpads, which are neither plush nor particularly deep. They create a decent seal around your ears but the lack of depth means my ears were constantly touching the inside of the speaker grille. They are broad enough to accommodate wider ears but I just wish they were deep enough.

The headband also has only a barely sufficient amount of padding on them and the choice of material once again is quite mediocre.

Being noise-canceling headphones, the earcups also allow very little air to move around, making these headphones unsuitable for use in warm weather.

Software and features

The CH710N feature active noise-canceling, which uses microphones on the outside to analyze and cancel out the ambient noise. On these headphones, you have an option to either have noise-canceling either fully on or off. There’s also an ambient mode that lets you listen to your surroundings by piping in certain frequencies through the speakers while still reducing some of the noise. This is great for when you want to hear someone around you, listen to an announcement at the airport or train station, or while walking on the street.

What these headphones don’t have is support for the Sony Headphones Connect app. Without this app, there is no way to dial in the exact amount of noise-canceling or control other features like EQ and other audio effects. You also can’t upgrade the software on these headphones.

The CH710N support Bluetooth 5.0 with NFC. The NFC enables quick and painless pairing on compatible Android phones. The CH710N lacks support for any of the fancy codecs and you get just SBC and AAC support here.

Noise-canceling

The CH710N are active noise-canceling headphones. They have two microphones on the outside that constantly monitor ambient sound and feed it into the system that then works to cancel it.

The noise-canceling performance on the CH710N is pretty underwhelming. It does reduce some of the noise but there’s still a fair bit that seeps through. This is admittedly the norm for noise-canceling headphones in this price range. If you need good noise-canceling performance, you are looking at spending at least twice as much. These should be fine for daily commutes but not for long haul flights.

Performance

The CH710N are a decent sounding pair of headphones. The sound is slightly bass-forward but with reduced emphasis on the mids and highs, resulting in a dark and somewhat muddy sound.

The low-end of these headphones has a small but notable boost, which results in a generally warm and punchy sound. The level of bass here can be quite enjoyable as it has just enough heft and slam without being overwhelmed by it like with the Sony Extra Bass headphones. The small amount of bass boost complements most genres well without getting in your way.

The mid-range performance is a bit of a mixed bag. The bottom end of the mid-range is a bit on the heavier side and as we go up the frequency spectrum it dials back a fair bit. This gives vocals a heavy, indistinct quality. Male voices in particular sound heavier than they should while female voices sound less focused. Listening to podcasts on these made me want some sort of EQ, which most podcast apps don’t have.

The high-end is where the sound completely fizzles and loses energy. The descent starts somewhere in the mid-range itself and by the time we get to the high-end of the audio spectrum we are a fair bit down from where we should be. There’s just no nuance or definition to high-frequency sounds and everything is just dull and lifeless. Instruments lose their sparkle and energy and some of the vocals also sound cloudy and distant.

This sort of sound can be fine for someone who prefers a more laidback, warm sound. It can smooth out an overly bright track and make it less fatiguing but that’s not a trick you want to apply to every piece of music. The good thing is that it is fairly easy to EQ these headphones to sound more balanced. You can’t magically add detail that’s missing but you can easily brighten up the sound and add more high-end energy. The CH710N also work fine if all you want to do is watch videos or movies with them, as the drawbacks that apply to music aren’t as bothersome here.

The CH710N have good imaging performance. The soundstage is average considering these are closed-back headphones and it feels further congested due to the restricted high-end but it’s also not particularly narrow or hemmed-in.

The microphone performance is mediocre. The voice sounds compressed and robotic with a slightly nasal tone to it. It’s okay for voice calls — the people I called didn’t have any complaints — but not for things like voice recordings.

The CH710N also has acceptable latency for most use cases. Listening to music was fine but even watching videos and movies didn’t pose any problem. Even casual gaming was fine. The issue mostly is with more competitive games where the latency could be an issue. There was a noticeable delay in the sound of the gunshots after tapping the button on Fortnite when paired with a OnePlus 8 Pro.

Battery

The CH710N have a rated battery life of 35 hours, a pretty generous figure. Sony also claims an hour of use after just 10-minutes of charge.

We set the headphones to loop our usual test track at a comfortably high volume. I was expecting the headphones to reach about the rated figure, perhaps a bit less. But I was not ready for what was about to happen.

Not only did the CH710N completely blow past the rated 35-hour battery life figure, but they also went on for a staggering 52 hours. At first, I assumed the noise-canceling may be off, but that wasn’t the case. The headphones just went on for 52 hours and had that not been the case, this review would have been published a day early.

Something similar happened when testing Sony’s 60 minutes usage with a 10-minute charge claim. The CH710N went on for 2 and a half hours with just 10 minutes of charge. Once again, the noise-canceling was enabled.

It’s not clear what’s happening here; I’ve seen headphones occasionally last longer than the manufacturer specified figure. After all, we don’t have the same methodology to test battery endurance as the companies that make these headphones. But an increase of nearly 50% is unprecedented. It’s possible the battery consumption changes based on the ambient noise and admittedly, I didn’t exactly run these headphones next to a busy street. Whatever the case may be, it seems the CH710N will comfortably reach the manufacturer specified figure and perhaps even longer based on your use.

The only thing that sours the experience for me is the time it takes to charge these headphones. Seven hours is the figure quoted by Sony and it does take that long if you want to charge them completely from flat. This is an overnight activity unless you want to spend your entire day watching your headphones charge.

Conclusion

At $130, the Sony WH-CH710N are unfortunately a fairly underwhelming pair of headphones. The build quality is a bit cheap and they aren’t the most comfortable. The sound quality is mediocre and so is the noise-canceling. They aren’t terrible at anything but there’s also not much that particularly stands out. The only thing these headphones excel at is battery life, but even that is slightly offset by the ridiculously long charging time.

I also think the CH710N are quite a downgrade over their predecessor. The CH700N were better designed and built, more comfortable, had better sound quality and they did all that for the same price. They’ll be discontinued eventually but are a better purchase over the CH710N while you can still buy them.

That leaves the CH710N in a tough spot. Perhaps you are someone who only really needs a long battery life or maybe just adequate if not exceptional noise-canceling while catching up on your favorite TV shows during your daily commute. In that case, you can be reasonably happy with these headphones, especially since they aren’t necessarily bad in any way. But I had high hopes for the successor to the CH700N and the CH710N failed to deliver.

Source link

قالب وردپرس

from World Wide News https://ift.tt/2C8ES7x

#World Wide News