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juuls · 1 year

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Juulna’s 2021 Multi-Fandom Fanfiction Rec List - Part Four

(Yes, I realize this is a year late, but this year's been a bit nuts. I still hope you enjoy these fics anyway!)

Based only on what I’ve read with my own eyes this year!

Follow me on my journey into what, at times, was…

…actually rather calming! Perhaps you can find some comfort and entertainment, fluff and angst and romance and friendship, smut and a distinct lack of it, space adventures and fantasy and modern adventures, serial killers and good guys, redemption and reconciliation and learning to become someone completely different — there is so much here I read that stuck with me over the past year, and the 2021 Fanfic Reading Challenge ( @fanfic-reading-challenge ) allowed me a new way to keep track of all of my favourites. So props to that event! Definitely participating again (considering I run the event, yeah, that's probably a given lol, but full disclosure).

Without further ado, here were my 2021 fic favourites!

Fandom: Potterverse

Bilmione:

Lady in Red by JamieOlivier

After a year of secretly being in love with Hermione, Bill finally gets a chance to show her how he feels. But what will happen between them when they're faced with the consequences of their night together?

Dramionarry:

Fourteen Thousand Galleons by @frumpologist

After the War, there is a boom of marriage and divorce. Hermione finds herself among the statistics of war heroes who couldn’t save their marriages. When she receives the invoice from her solicitor, she has no choice but to answer an ad in The Daily Prophet: Malfoy Heir Seeking Nanny.

But, everything is not quite what it seems as Hermione navigates the waters of post-divorce life.

GES Winner 2020: Best Love Story

Dramione:

The Library of Alexandria by @senlinyu

The Library of Alexandria is not for just any witch or wizard. Many bookworms may try but few are permitted to pass through its doors. The books residing there are ancient and powerful and, if one happens to make a mistake, the consequences can be rather—novel.

Height by @senlinyu

“Tall? That’s what you think I should notice about Malfoy? His height?”

Ginny quirked an eyebrow and licked the tip of her quill suggestively. ”Well, isn’t that your thing? Lockhart. Krum. McLaggen. Ron. The only thing they have in common is being tall enough to give me a neck ache.”

Hermione felt her ears grow hot, and she gripped her book tighter. “I don’t have a thing for tall men. Their height is—completely coincidental.”

Dramione Height Differences Minifest 2020.

The Malaria Visions by @heymanticore

Hermione has a series of vivid dreams about Draco Malfoy after taking anti-malarial medication. Can she reconcile the real Draco with the one she sees when she sleeps?

Presque Toujours Pur by ShayaLonnie

Bellatrix's torture of Hermione uncovers a long-kept secret. The young witch learns her true origins in a story that shows the beginning and end of the Wizarding wars as Hermione learns about her biological father and the blood magic he dabbled in that will control her future.

Remione:

Those Who Can, Teach by @inlovewithforever

“You do realize,” he spoke measuredly, “how absolutely insane you sound, trying to protect the long-gone virtue of your nearly forty-year-old professor? Who happens to be a werewolf?”

“You’re not my professor. Not anymore.” --- Dirty little Remione one-shot featuring gratuitous use of erotic poetry as foreplay. Canon divergent from the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

Moonlight by @kittenshift-17

Coming to call on a werewolf hours before the full moon rises has unexpected consequences for the brightest witch of the age. Hermione never expected that Remus would ever let her get so close, but the allure of moonlight finally proves too much for the lycanthrope to resist. Remione.

Hungry Like the Wolf by @iamtarasoleil

"Where am I?" she demanded, though her voice still shook slightly from embarrassment. "My flat, obviously," the man replied with equal unease. "Who are you? Why are you here? … And why would you turn such a bloody awful record into a portkey?"

Siremione:

A cautionary tale. Or: why you should never bet with Sirius Black by theGoddessofSamothrace

Hermione has lived with two of the most eligible bachelors of the wizarding world for two years now. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black invited her to live with them when her relationship with Ron Weasley collapsed and she gratefully accepted. The household works for all three of them: there is someone at home when she gets back from work, Remus has an intellectual sparring partner and Sirius is kept in line just a little more when there's a woman in the house. But what happens when this comfortable setting is disturbed by a very, very bad decision on the part of a certain miss Granger?

Stay by nymueladyofthelake

Hermione finds herself targeted by a law, a Muggleborn Registration Act being led by Dolores Umbridge. Sirius and Hermione immediately form a marriage bond to protect her from receiving the trace. Remus isn't sure what that will mean for their pack bond or for his relationship with Sirius. The Order tries to circumvent the dark plans Voldemort has for all muggleborns.

The Sun, The Moon and The Star by @ladyblack3

WINNER! of Mischief Managed Awards 2018: Best Soul Bond Fic. Eight years after the war, life at Grimmauld place is settled for the widowed Remus, his metamorphmagus son, and the brightest witch of her age. What happens when they uncover that they yet may return a lost Marauder? What will Moony have to say about all of this? And was this their fate all along? Triad, HG/RL/SB!

Sirimione:

This Dizzy Life of Mine by @inlovewithforever

Hermione wants desperately to make the world a better place. Sirius wants more than anything for Hermione to take him, well, seriously.

AU in which Voldemort never existed, but blood prejudice and anti-Muggle sentiments reign supreme.

Looking Like a High I Want to Be On by weary_kind

It wasn’t the Wizarding World’s happiness that kept her out of Diagon Alley, not exactly. It was the news articles that were written about her during the divorce. They weren’t written about Harry. Or Ron... Just her.

Being as well-known as she was, the Daily Prophet had paid close attention to her relationship. Especially the end of it. How exactly they got ahold of her medical records from St. Mungos was anyone’s guess. But they had.

Sirimione & Remione:

The Debt of Time by ShayaLonnie

When Hermione finds a way to bring Sirius back from the veil, her actions change the rest of the war. Little does she know her spell restoring him to life provokes magic she doesn't understand and sets her on a path that ends with a Time-Turner.

SSHG:

Meta: The Not-So-Comprehensive Guide to Hermione/Severus Clichés in Fanfiction by Electryone

The majority of HG/SS plotlines in under 500 words each. Time-turners added!

The Witchhiker's Guide to Beltane by TeddyRadiator

Wizarding Britain, ten years after the war. Things are good, but the Ministry thinks what's needed is a good old fashioned Beltane revel. Hogwarts is just the place to do it. In the meantime, Severus isn't enjoying life right now; he's the subject of Rita Skeeter's new tell-all book. And don't get Hermione started on how Ron continues to make her life a misery. Perhaps this Beltane stuff may just be the ticket to help them out as well. Written for Jenidralph in the winter 2013 LiveJournal SSHG_Prompfest.

SSHG & Drarry:

The Problem With Purity by Phoenix.Writing

As Hermione, Harry, and Ron are about to begin their seventh and final year at Hogwarts, they learn some surprising and dangerous information regarding what it means to be Pure in the wizarding world. HG/SS with H/D. AU after OotP.

SSHGRL (Snape, Hermione, Remus):

Snow Turns The World Deaf by TeddyRadiator

Severus has always believed that, if you love someone, you must promise them the moon, and deliver it. How do you wrestle that moon to the ground?

Fandom: Fantastic Beasts

Gramander:

Masquerade by @prosodiical

MACUSA's annual New Year's Eve Masquerade Ball is the largest, most magical event of the year - and Newt, dressed to the nines and miserably bored, really just wants to leave.

But when a handsome man in a wampus mask comes to his rescue, Newt finds himself very quickly swept away.

Five Times They Weren't, and One Time They Totally Were by Anonymous

Tina is beginning to think that this fiancé act is a getting a bit suspicious. But that can't be right; she just has an overactive imagination. Surely Percival Graves isn't serious when he calls Newt Scamander his 'betrothed'. Right?

Roar by @elenothar

After Graves' fourth escape attempt Grindelwald decides that turning the man into a magical creature - a process thought to be impossible to reverse - will take care of the problem quite nicely. Too bad he didn't anticipate Newt Scamander.

You Told Me Fortunes In American Slang by kopperblaze

Fill for this prompt on the Kink Meme:

Newt's dislike to looking someone in the eye and his aversion to human touch (that is not part of his family) is the result of someone playing an ugly prank on him when he was little. It's also the main reason that Theseus Scamander is a huge momma bear concerning all matters related to Newt.

After Graves is found and healed, he gets to know Newt a little better and falls in love. He quickly realises that Newt has been hurt in the past even without the constant messages from Theseus that hell is going to rain down on anyone in MACUSA even looking the wrong way at Newt.

I want to see Percival slowly gaining Newt's trust, then becoming part of his family and after months of careful wooing finally having his personal happy end.

Bonus: Newt has been in love with Graves for years hearing tales from his brother. The incident with Grindelwald was a huge blow to his ego until he realised that it wasn't Graves. Still he's too shy to make any first move towards the real Graves that is more than friendship.

Fandom: Star Trek

Michael Burnham/Mirror Gabriel Lorca:

Hearts Like Ours by justrunthroughthenightglo

When Prime Gabriel Lorca finds himself on the USS Discovery, he must prove to the crew that he is trustworthy, acclimate to being back in his own universe, solve a mystery which begins with Mirror Landry's ongoing scheme, and figure out why he feels so incredibly drawn to Specialist Michael Burnham.

Light your tinsel moon by @lesspopped

A mysterious phenomenon temporarily takes out the eyesight of Discovery's human crew. Everyone is looking for ways to burn off energy; Lorca and Burnham find a certain amount of freedom in the circumstances.

The Other by LadyFangs

Everyone has a secret. Some deeper than others. Sometimes, objects in the mirror are far closer and much more similar than they appear.

In which Prime Gabriel Lorca returns to his rightful universe only to discover that everything he thought he knew, and loved, is changed.

Michael Burnham/Christopher Pike:

The Other Half by @alethialia

Pike nodded. "You should let the crew know. We'll switch badges and get new uniforms to make it as clear as possible. I'll need to walk Kat through this one myself, though; some of the crustier admirals are gonna have a nutty."

Saru blinked; if he'd been harboring any doubts that he was talking to Pike, they clearly evaporated at the phrase "have a nutty" coming from Michael's mouth.

In the sudden silence: "Okay, but body-swapping?" Tilly asked, her tone hitting the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Tough Love by @alethialia

"Are you harboring a romantic interest in the captain?" Spock asked from across the mess hall table, eyes trained on her evenly, all-knowing.

They had been eating lunch. Eating lunch and finally talking and that had somehow led to...this.

Michael stared at Spock, completely thrown. "...what?"

Series: Respite by @alethialia

The Terran Pike comes to visit the newly-resurrected Captain Burnham on the Shenzhou and things get...heated.

The Trouble With Spores by @elenothar

One moment Michael Burnham is walking alongside Captain Pike in the dusk that comes startlingly early on Stellanis, contemplating suggesting they call off the fruitless search for their strange readings’ origins – the next she steps over some protruding roots and the world explodes into particles of light.

An away mission gone sideways leaves Michael and Pike unable to exceed a certain radius from each other. Turns out that keeping her feelings for him under wraps is easier said than done when occupying the same set of quarters.

No going back. by @wearethewitches

When it seems like the only way to further progress a negotiation between two Acamarian tribes is to let them plan a cross-culture wedding, Michael Burnham volunteers to be their guinea pig bride.

Her supposed fiance? Christopher Pike.

Stars, hide your fire by @wearethewitches

When Michael Burnham's Vulcan husband comes aboard the Discovery, it is discovered that things are not what they seem - and it may be up to Christopher Pike to set it right.

a needle pointing true by @elenothar

Humans have always had soulmarks, causing a lot of (unnecessary) drama that all other species shake their heads at.

All of Michael's marks, without fail, had needed months of knowing the other person to establish.

Less than two weeks after Christopher Pike came on board the Discovery her average is thrown entirely out of whack.

Readability by @elenothar

The most worrying thing about accidentally having linked her mind to her Captain's during first contact with a telepathic species is how little it worries Michael.

Chris has a less easy go of it.

Gen:

Watch the Stars Fall by @wearethewitches

When the Discovery goes through the wormhole, instead of Terralysium, they find themselves in an alternate timeline - one where the U.S.S. Kelvin was destroyed in 2233.

or, I want to fix Star Trek 2009 and now I actually have a plausible way to do it. Michael-centric, new plot and I refuse to name Vulcans an endangered species.

Deep Space Wives:

From a Small Moon by celestialskiff

Set during season one. Kira has always known she wants to be with women, but she's never had the opportunity to explore her sexuality. When she realises Jadzia Dax reciprocates her feelings, she can't believe her luck. Unfortunately, memories of her life during the Occupation of Bajor keep getting in the way of her relationship. (Please note this story contains references to past rape and to abuse. It also contains really quite a lot of consensual lesbian sex.)

Jim Kirk/Christopher Pike:

What They Made Me by KrazzeeAJ1701

Her mother, Frank and Kodos had all tried to break her, it just made her stronger in the end.

McSpirk:

Farrae Gunna by @straight-outta-hobbiton

Best, brightest, and most expendable. Leonard should have that printed on a t-shirt. That’s what the crew of the Enterprise is comprised of, after all— people who are the right mix of smart and bad. Why? Well, Leonard hopes to find that out.

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starryeyes2000 · 2 years

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Rebellion: Chapter 6

Read on AO3 or FFN

Status: In-Progress

Note: All characters are mirror universe.

Pairings: Pike x Una, Pike x Fem!OC (Aalin), Spock x Chapel, Sarek x Amanda, Lorca x Michael Burnham

Rating: Mature

Word Length: 1.1k

Chapter Summary: A slice of Mirror Christopher Pike's backstory.

Summary: In the Terran Universe, Christopher Pike and Enterprise are returning home in triumph after five years of conquests expanding Georgiou’s possessions. Gabriel Lorca is plotting to seize power. The rebels have instigated a new wave of unrest and uprisings. This is the story of the years leading up to Discovery's appearance in the mirror universe.

Excerpt: Terran (Mirror) Universe, 32 Years Ago, Mojave, California

After multiple climate alteration projects failed during the previous two hundred years, the natural environment had reclaimed Mojave and its surrounds. Life on the high desert was harsh and the few who made it their home possessed little material wealth. As they preferred. If you owned nothing considered valuable no one wanted to take it away. Thus this area lacking natural resources and mostly populated by nameless, faceless sexagenarians and older drew little notice from the imperial government or the oligarch class.

Morning began as most summer days did in Mojave, bright and warm with the temperature swiftly rising. By eight am, thirteen-year-old Chris Pike had been up for two hours tending to the early morning chores on his family’s ranch.

Continue Reading on AO3 or FFN

Story Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist

Taglist: @arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @bardic-tales

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goremances · 3 months

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back in star trek discovery / lorca x michael hell send help...

...or fics

#star trek discovery #michael burnham #gabriel lorca #lorca x michael

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make-me-imagine · 2 years

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Match-Up Scenario Game - Star Trek Universe (Tv Shows)

This includes male and female characters from the following Star Trek TV Shows: Discovery, Strange New Worlds, Voyager, and Enterprise

Rules/What you do: Just match the month/day/letter to yourself and you got yourself a cute little scenario to imagine lol. And you can also leave in the tags or comments, what your scenario is :) Tag others/mutuals as well!

Requests: You can use these scenarios as requests for fics/headcanons as well (only when requests are open obviously)

(Scenario Game Masterlist)

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Your Birth Month:

January: Cleveland Booker // Nhan

February: Trip Tucker // Kathryn Janeway

March: Spock // Hoshi Sato

April: Gabriel Lorca // T'Pol

May: Jonathan Archer // Michael Burnham

June: Christopher Pike // Erica Ortegas

July: Dr. M'Benga // Seven of Nine

August: Tom Paris // Una Chin-Riley

September: Sarek // Nyota Uhura

October: Malcolm Reed // Sylvia Tilly

November: Harry Kim // La'an Noonien-Singh

December: Chakotay // Christina Chapel

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Your Birth Date:

1: Brings you your favorite dessert/candy... 2: Surprises you after being apart... 3: Gives you a token of their affection... 4: Makes you dinner... 5: Surprises you with flowers... 6: Surprises you with shore leave... 7: Proposes to you... 8: Takes you on a picnic... 9: Asks you to move in with them... 10: Surprises you with a trip... 11: Writes you a love-letter... 12: Gives you random gifts throughout the day... 13: Asks you on a date... 14: Suddenly kisses you... 15: Brings you breakfast in bed... 16: Makes you a hand-made gift... 17: Takes you dancing... 18: Hugs you so hard they almost knock you off your feet... 19: Surprises you with random kisses throughout the day... 20: Tells you how much they love you... 21: Surprises you with your favorite food... 22: Gives you a piece of jewelry... 23: Surprises you with a rare alien plant... 24: Throws you a party... 25: Builds you a pillow fort... 26: Surprises you with a fancy dinner... 27: Leaves you an anonymous letter... 28: Takes you star-gazing... 29: Gives you a heart-felt gift... 30: Leaves you secret gifts... 31: Takes you to a new planet..

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First Letter of You Name (Or Username):

A-E: For your birthday.

F-J: Because it's your anniversary.

K-O: To cheer you up.

P-T: Just to make you smile.

U-W: Because they are in love with you.

X-Z: Because you are they're favorite person.

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I apologize if your combo/matchup does not make sense, it is hard to make sure that every single combination does.

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james-t-kirks-fat-ass-tiddies · 1 year

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Hey guys check out my Star Trek Discovery fic. This one is for all the villain fuckers and old man enthusiasts. Michael Burnham x Gabriel Lorca

#star trek #Star Trek discovery #Star Trek disco #michael burnham #gabriel lorca #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #jason isaacs #senequa m

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starfleetimagines · 2 years

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Discovery Masterlist

*Note: I no longer write for Discovery characters*

Reader Inserts

Michael Burnham

Michael Burnham - “That was hot.”

Michael Burnham - She Saves Your Life

Gabriel Lorca

Gabriel Lorca - “Did I stutter?”

Saru

Saru - Christmas Gifts

Saru - Confidence Boost

Sylvia Tilly - Romance in Sickbay

Saru - Homesick

Saru - You’re Overworked (platonic)

Being Saru’s First Officer and Best Friend Would Include…

Sylvia Tilly

Sylvia Tilly - Romance in Sickbay

Ash Tyler

Ash Tyler - “I need you.”

Character Ships

Michael Burnham x Ash Tyler - “Breathe with me.”

#star trek fanfiction #star trek imagine #star trek one shots #star trek discovery #star trek discovery fanfiction #fanfiction masterlists

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nessypro · 4 years

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Единственное, что меня ослепляло, — это ты

Я вас люблю… что делать — виноват!

...

И в этом вы должны меня простить,

Тем более, что запретить любить

Не может власть на свете никакая;

Тем более, что, мучась и пылая,

Ни слова я не смею вам сказать

И принужден молчать, молчать, молчать!

***

Вселенная бесконечна? Вселенные бесконечны? Нити, связывающие каждое живое существо в мирах, о которых мы не имеем понятия, связи на уровне сознания, переплетение судеб на уровне невозможного… Нужна ли война с Клингонами? Так ли важно довести Империю до падения, а бой до потери последнего союзника? Не знаю, теперь я ничего не знаю, все эти вопросы теряют смысл, когда летишь к раскалённому энергетическому ядру Императорского дворца, и остаётся только одно — яркий безграничный свет. Свет, который и без того ослепляет меня, свет, который я ненавижу, но сейчас, именно сейчас, неожиданно осознаю… Единственное, что ослепляло меня — это ты.

Звёздная дата… к чёрту даты. Журнал капитана «Дискавери»…

Я хорошо помню, как ты росла во дворце и как я, будучи тогда правой рукой императрицы, наблюдал за тобой. Смешная, дерзкая, умная, кто бы мог подумать, что в моём одиноком сердце имперского война ты займёшь особое место… Жизнь раскололась на две половины — до момента, когда ты коснулась меня, и после. Я, словно заблудший путник, неожиданно обрёл смысл, крылья, силу и цель. Ты была всем, Майкл, да, ты была всем.

Конечно, императрица не одобрила этого исхода, куда ей, властительнице мира, понять, как могут тянуться друг к другу близкие люди… Ревность, только её ревность, привела нас к тому, что мы имеем. Она обрекла тебя на смерть, это её вина, её просчёт и ошибка… а я видел, Майкл, я видел, как ты умерла… Боль, которую я ощутил, не сравнима ни с чем иным во вселенной, лучше бы мне до конца жизни смотреть на пылающую сверхновую, чем видеть, как жизнь исчезает из твоих глаз… твой последний взгляд…

Естественно я проклял этот мир, и эту жизнь, всё на свете, ведь тебя больше не было, ты ушла и оставила меня одного, намного более одинокого, чем раньше. Я готов был идти куда угодно, сделать, что угодно, лишь бы снова увидеть, снова коснуться и… сказать всё, чего сказать так и не смог. Самых главных слов…

Мне удалось пересечь время и пространство, достичь немыслимого, оказаться в другой вселенной и выжить. Я выжил, Майкл, но даже не мог надеяться, что здесь существуешь ты… что в переплетении нитей, связывающих вселенную, невидимых лент мироздания, ты можешь быть жива. Твоё имя в списке федеральных заключённых стало новым толчком, я почувствовал, как поломанные крылья пробиваются сквозь кожу к свету, как душа воспаряет ввысь от осознания того, что у меня есть шанс…

— Она мятежница, ей нельзя доверять, — строго заверила меня голограмма Катрин Корнуэлл.

— Мне всё равно, Кэт, у неё есть знания и способности, которые помогут победить в войне. Вам, там, за кулисами сражений, не видно и непонятно, как действуют на передовой, — моя настойчивость граничила с грубостью, ведь мне необходимо было официальное подтверждение. Но, даже если бы его не дали, я всё равно бросился бы к тебе, вытащил бы тебя из тюрьмы и забрал так далеко, как только возможно.

Однако, всё обошлось, генеральный совет Федерации одобрил моё решение, и «Дискавери» подобрал ваш шаттл, который весьма неудачно попал в маленькие космические неприятности. Как же билось моё сердце, Майкл, как дрожали руки и тряслись поджилки, когда я увидел на камерах слежения твой стройный силуэт в жёлтом комбинезоне. Другая причёска, повадки Вулканца, но движения, приёмы, поворот головы и даже взгляд, даже чёртов взгляд, был взглядом моей любимой. Пока ты поднималась на мостик, я смотрел в бесконечную даль, наполненную звёздами… в космосе всегда кажется, будто ещё чуть-чуть и увидишь дом, но моим домом была Майкл Бёрнем, любая из вас. Мне не удалось справиться с чувствами, когда ты вошла, я спиной ощущал твой взгляд и не мог найти в себе сил обернуться… Я боялся, что дрожь выдаст меня, что медленно рассеивающийся полумрак расскажет обо мне больше, чем ты знаешь, но медлить уже было бессмысленно. Вздох, взять себя в руки, не показывать чувств, вот так… поворачиваюсь, медленно, аккуратно, поднимаю глаза и ощущаю, как сердце убегает куда-то вниз, тянущее чувство в солнечном сплетении мешает дышать.

— Капитан Габриэль Лорка, — представляюсь я, выдыхаю.

Нужно продолжать говорить, говорить и говорить, пока чувства не утонут в разговоре, пока разочарование от твоего незнакомого, удивлённого и холодного взгляда не канет в пучине слов. Ты не знаешь меня в этой вселенной, Майкл, но я уверен, что где бы мы ни были, в какое бы время ни попали, нам никогда не уйти друг от друга, ибо время и вселенная связывает одних и тех же людей… она связывает нас. Впрочем, я, кажется, переборщил с равнодушием, мои слова стали жестоки и циничны… первое впечатление, да к чёрту его! Когда ты ушла, я шокировано уставился на дверь, не мог пошевелиться, ведь это была ты, действительно, камеры не обманули, твой взгляд был взглядом Майкл, моей Майкл. Мне казалось, ты всё равно полюбишь меня, я думал, что ты уже моя…

… Только вмешался Эш Тайлер — и зачем мне пришло в голову спасать его из логова Клингонов? — он стал досадной помехой на моём пути, слишком досадной. Ты влюбилась… как хорошо, что в своём мире я уничтожил его раньше… ты влюбилась, Майкл, и снова заставила меня страдать! Я не желаю тебе этой боли, я не желаю, чтобы ты когда-нибудь узнала подобное чувство… А мне пришлось терпеть, пришлось смириться, отпустить и запечатать внутри себя веру, что всё ещё будет, что время ещё не пришло. Но, чёрт возьми, я ревновал, жутко, страстно, нетерпимо, как же я ревновал, Майкл! Как ревновал…

____________

Я вас люблю… что делать — виноват!

…

Я знаю сам, что были бы преступны

Признанья или смысла лишены:

Затем, что для меня вы недоступны,

Как недоступен рай для сатаны.

Цепями неразрывными окован.

Не смею я, когда порой, взволнован,

Измучен весь, к вам робко подхожу

И подаю вам руку на прощанье,

Сказать простое слово: до свиданья!

Иль, говоря, — на вас я не гляжу.

К чему они, к чему свиданья эти?

Бессонницы — расплата мне за них!

А между тем, как зверь, попавший в сети,

Я тщетно злюсь на крепость уз своих.

Я к ним привык, к мучительным свиданьям…

Я опиум готов, как турок, пить,

Чтоб муку их в душе своей продлить,

Чтоб дольше жить живым воспоминаньем…

Чтоб грезить ночь и целый День бродить

В чаду мечты, под сладким обаяньем

Задумчиво опущенных очей!

Мне жизнь темна без света их лучей.

Да… я люблю вас… так глубоко, страстно,

Давно… И страсть безумную свою

От всех, от вас, особенно таю.

От вас, ребенок чистый и прекрасный!

Не дай вам бог, дитя мое, узнать,

Как тяжело любить такой любовью,

Рыдать без слов, метаться, ощущать,

Что кровь свинцом расплавленным, не кровью,

Бежит по жилам, рваться, проклинать,

Терзаться ночи, дни считать тревожно,

Бояться встреч и ждать их, жадно ждать;

Беречься каждой мелочи ничтожной,

Дрожать за каждый шаг неосторожный,

Над пропастью бездонною стоять

И чувствовать, что надо погибать,

И знать, что бегство больше невозможно.

***

Я терпел, сколько мог, Майкл, а потом сорвался… просто сорвался и перестал себя контролировать. Адмирал Корнуэлл заметила это, хотела забрать у меня корабль, но судьба снова сыграла мне на руку… иронично, что я думаю о судьбе, как о некоем провидении вселенной, а ты сказала, что не судьба вытащила тебя из тюрьмы, а я. Я выбрал тебя, Майкл, и не мог отпустить… просто не имел ни душевной, ни психологической силы сделать это. Я люблю тебя — конечно, это мои проблемы — но я люблю тебя, как никогда никого не любил.

И вот последний прыжок «Дискавери», чёрная тревога, я подменил координаты, и мы оказались в моей вселенной. В мире, где царила Филиппа, где мне не было места рядом с тобой из-за неё… если бы не она, я бы смог, я бы завоевал тебя, ты почти поверила… я видел, Майкл, твой взгляд изменился в последний момент… ты же поверила, ты тоже дорожила мной, любимая. Вся моя жизнь — я только пред лицом смерти понял это — вся моя жизнь была лишь дорогой к тебе… Да чёрт с ним с этим Тайлером, чёрт с ней с Филиппой, я бы держался на расстоянии, шёл за тобой тенью и довольствовался взглядом, приветствием, новостями. Сейчас я мечтаю сидеть в тюрьме Звёздного Флота и наблюдать со стороны, наблюдать, но видеть… только это немыслимо, невозможно, недостижимо…

Моё тело вернулось в прежнее состояние. Как? Не знаю. Возможно, взаимодействие со спорами повлияло на каждого из команды «Дискавери»… хотя нет, не возможно, а совершенно точно повлияло, я уверен, теперь уверен. Ибо я жив, а моя любовь лишь сильнее пылает в груди, лишь сильнее мучает и толкает на возобновление поисков.

Знаешь… над руинами разрушенной империи мне снятся твои глаза, и видится мир, где ты всё ещё ждёшь меня и любишь… или полюбишь, Майкл. А я хочу надеяться и хочу ждать, ждать и делать всё, чтобы снова найти тебя, чтобы снова коснуться, увидеть, обнять… я готов ждать сколько угодно, я готов на что угодно…

Правда, сначала думал, мне удастся отыскать путь к твоему сердцу, влюбить и привлечь заново, но все попытки оказались тщетны… тщетны, потому что я должен был, наконец, признаться самому себе — ты не моя, никогда не была моею и никогда не будешь. Я должен был отпустить сразу, но отпустил слишком поздно… теперь это ясно, как свет, очевидно и прозрачно, как стекло — нужно время. Нам нужно время, тебе и мне, и тогда, наверняка, ты поймёшь и придёшь ко мне, сама, а я ��брету то, о чём мечтал. Я вновь обрету крылья.

________

Как тяжело любить такой любовью,

Рыдать без слов, метаться, ощущать,

Что кровь свинцом расплавленным, не кровью,

Бежит по жилам, рваться, проклинать,

Терзаться ночи, дни считать тревожно,

Бояться встреч и ждать их, жадно ждать</right>

_____

Звёздную дату не помню.

Я больше не капитан, просто рад, что жив, и, что всё ещё могу чувствовать, любить и надеяться. В моих снах путается реальность и вымысел, воображение и страх, безысходность и прошлое, и только одно остаётся неизменным… красный Ангел. Прекрасное создание с огненными крыльями, феникс в очаровании магии… знаешь, Майкл, он похож на тебя, изгибами тела, плавностью движений, изяществом рук... Если это создание может указать путь к тебе, то пусть сделает это, потому что я верю, что всё ещё возможно и надеюсь на встречу. Только дай мне знак, отзовись из глубин космоса, откликнись, чтобы я пришёл и был с тобой до конца... Я люблю тебя, моя Майкл, как же я тебя люблю…

(В тексте использовано стихотворение Аполлона Григорьева)

#michael burnham #gabriel lorca #STAR TREK DISCOVERY #michael and gabriel #lorca and burnham #lorcham #burnham x lorca #uss archangels #michael burnham x gabriel lorca

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startrekfangirl · 4 years

Video

youtube

Took ages to edit, and I know that there probably aren’t many shippers out there anymore. But I don’t care, Gabriel and Michael had a special connection either way.

#Star Trek #Star Trek Discovery #Lorca x Burnham #Michael Burnham x Gabriel Lorca #Gabriel Lorca #Michael Burnham #Gabriel Lorca x Michael Burnham #Love #Terran Empire #Demons #Music #Edit #Premiere Pro

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resplendentgoldenwings · 5 years

Text

Adoration, Pt. 2, Love Actually, Chapter 24

A Star Trek Discovery modern AU

It’s been three months since their first date and Michael and Gabriel couldn’t be happier together. They seem to fit together perfectly. But secrets from their pasts emerge to test the strength and commitment of their new relationship. Can their burgeoning relationship last?

Chapter 24: Caught Up

rating: explicit

characters/pairings: Michael Burnham/Gabriel Lorca, Gabriel Lorca, Michael Burnham

chapter summary: Gabriel finally tells Michael the secret he's been keeping from her and Michael discovers some secrets of her own.

warnings: none this chapter

She should have been asking questions, demanding explanations, should have been. She couldn't bring herself to do so, not while she lay comfortably basking.

The scientist in her wondered with mild amusement how quickly she'd become used to this and still more how quickly she'd come to feel deprived, even as she pressed close to Gabe wriggling in place to extend the delicious sensitivity she felt, the buoyance of feeling pervading her.

"We can't just lay here."

Michael pouted suddenly willing to let him explain himself later, even if that wasn't the right choice. this was how people misused sex.

"Why not?"

Gabriel propped himself up on his elbows, and Michael admired him his profile, the breadth of his shoulders, the muscles of his back. She stroked her thumb along his jaw.

"I missed you."

He smiled and shifted so he could look at her more directly, his blue eyes clear and bright-

“I love you.”

* * * * * * * * *

@makimurakaori @wizfrog @thebaconsandwichofregret@leavingwestcovina@pixie-diddle-duster @neogenesis85 @dazedinaphase@rachaelkelleher @lilithenaltum @peritwotone @ethangpeck @glowysweetfab

So I just tag everyone I can think of on these update posts but I know there are some people I’m forgetting. If you want me to add you to the tag list just let me know.

#Star Trek Discovery #Lorcham #Michael Burnham x Gabriel Lorca #USS Archangels #Gabriel Lorca #Michael Burnham #Captain Lorca

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ussarchangel · 5 years

Text

Sliding into ya’ DMs this month with a personal invitation to write some Lorcham for Kinktober and Whumptober.

Whumptober prompt list.

Kinktober prompt list.

#Lorcham #uss archangels #michael burnham x gabriel lorca #no fear friends I'll only be bothering people who have participated in past Lorcham ficcing events

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starryeyes2000 · 2 years

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Rebellion Masterlist

Status: In-Progress

Note: All characters are mirror universe.

Pairings: Pike x Una, Pike x Fem!OC (Aalin), Spock x Chapel, Sarek x Amanda, Lorca x Michael Burnham

Rating: Mature

Chapters

One | Two | Three | Four | Five

Six | Seven

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rachaelkelleher · 5 years

Text

Lorcham Idea!

So, I was looking through a bunch of prompts in a comm on dreamwidth and I saw one with a gif of silk. I had an idea for a Lorcham fanfic and I'm super excited to write it as this particular plot would mean that I wouldn't have to be worried about not knowing enough techno-babble.

This fic is going to be set in the MU, where Michael and Lorca attend a state dinner, and Michael is wearing a silk gown.

The fic will be smutty, but will have its share of grit considering the universe it's set in. It'll be the first Trek fic that I'll have written!

#Lorcham #Michael Burnham x Gabriel Lorca #Michael Burnham #Gabriel Lorca #Star Trek: Discovery #Star Trek

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theladyfangs · 6 years

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Reflections/The Other Part 12

(Dear God...this is the last time I upload a story of this length to tumblr. This is starting to feel like the fic that never ends...but I swear it’s starting to wrap here in a bit).

I’d Rather Go Blind

“Admiral,” Lorca greets her as he comes on the bridge. “This is…unexpected.”

Katrina eyes him up and down, critically. Uniform immaculate as always. His hair slightly mussed, as if he were sleeping, but when he gets close, she catches a whiff and frowns, knowing that smell. She’s known Gabriel too long to be fooled. His default when shit goes awry, when he’s stressed to the point where he can’t deal. And she senses something else too—the way he’s standing, slightly back from her, guarded, and…she gets to his face, noting the blue in his eyes, the slightly withdrawn look: he’s hiding something.

“Conference room, Captain.”

Tell. Don’t ask.

They go, leaving Tyler with Saru.

Once the doors shut, she turns on him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Katrina snaps. “Attacking in Klingon space. Are you crazy? We could have lost this ship and her tech!”

“But we didn’t lose the ship or the tech,” Lorca says measuredly, not wanting to antagonize her further. “We came back. Got the job done.”

“And WHAT, exactly, was the job? The impetus? We were moving the needle.”

“It wasn’t moving fast enough,” he defends.

“Shut up right there.”

Lorca massages his temple, feeling his patience beginning to wear thin—he’s annoyed that she’s talking to him like this, but he’s letting her—knowing her anger is probably due to a hell of a lot more than just a mission she disagreed with. Katrina charges on.

“YOU jeopardized this ship. This crew. All for what? Your ego? Your glory?”

“It’s NOT my ego!” He finally snaps, venting the extent of pent-up frustration. “Your people screwed up. Had Terral listened to Michael we wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. YOU, Admiral, punish her for violating ‘Starfleet directives’, THEN you’re fucking surprised we’re getting our asses kicked halfway to Sunday!

“Who decided to only defend the colonies and leave the arrays undefended? Who decided to de-militarize the Federation? Hell, I get it. Peace in the fucking galaxy, but WHEN will you guys wake up and accept SOME responsibility for this? YOU and your ilk, Katrina—the old guard is gone. This is YOUR fault. Accept it. I jumped into Klingon space to send a message—that the Federation ISN’T passive. That it WILL do more than just defend itself. That it’s just as willing as they are to fight—and from what I’m seeing—it’s working. Hell, you won’t even tell the others what we’re doing—so which one of us is being the coward-- me, or you?”

Only after Lorca’s done does the rest slowly sink in.

“You’re accusing me,” she starts slowly, “of allowing the invasion? Do you KNOW how you sound right now? We’ve lost tens of thousands of people, Gabriel. And you’re saying it’s wrong to want for peace—what do you propose? Constant war? Humanity tried that for centuries, and I know you know history.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Katrina.”

Lorca sits back down, realizing he’s been standing the past few minutes ranting.

“It doesn’t matter, now. What matters is getting you to see why we did what we did. Why Michael and I made the decision to go on offence. Can you at least admit it’s got them nervous? I know you get the transmission logs.”

She does. And she has seen, through Tyler, the amount of confusion the strike has caused among Klingon forces. But still…

“There are rules, Gabriel.”

“Rules are for admirals in back offices,” he retorts.

“Pick that up from over there?” She snaps back, eyes narrow, standing now and circling him. “You haven’t been the same since you came back. You sound like him.”

Like him.

“Then maybe he was right about a few things,” Lorca tells her, to Kat’s surprise. A shudder runs through her.

“What did you lose over there, Gabriel? What happened to your humanity?”

But he won’t answer. Instead, “Are we done, Admiral?”

“No, we’re not. How many crew did you lose?”

Thanks to Saru, she’s seen the reports about the boarding.

“Five.”

“Were their lives worth it?”

“To end a war? You said yourself, tens of thousands have died already. My people died with dignity. Honour. Trying to save the Federation. That’s all I’m doing. Trying to save us. Because we’re fighting an enemy that doesn’t play by the rules, Katrina. And I think you know that. And I also think you know,” he leans closer now, “that we will lose our way of life if we don’t come up with a better way.”

“Tell me why I shouldn’t bust you down and send Burnham to the nearest prison colony?” She refuses the bait.

But at the word ‘Burnham’, there’s something different in Gabriel’s face. It disappears just as quickly—but it sure as hell looked like…panic?

“You wouldn’t.” He tells her. “We’re your best for bringing this thing to an end. You hate what we’re doing, but condoning it. And you left Michael here for a reason.”

Katrina catches it once more. Not Specialist. Not Burnham. Michael. The collective, “we”.

Another glance at Gabriel. He’s giving her the blank stare of indifference, but his shoulders are tense. Still as a statue. She knows his bluffs. His hedges. His ticks and his quirks. Katrina eyes him critically, takes a longer look at the man she used to love…still loves…

It comes out of nowhere. Like a shock to her system. She doesn’t know what prompts it. What makes her say it. Maybe it’s stress. Maybe it’s worry. Some unresolved something from deep down that rears up in the moment. But the words that escape, she can’t take back, and the truth reveals itself in the look on his face when she asks, point-blank…

“Are you sleeping with her?”

Tyler II

It’s early, but he wants to see her. To show her that he’s…better now. That in these months apart, he’s found something to hold on too, that he’s not the person that attacked her and that he’s worked hard to be better. For her.

Tyler retraces the familiar path toward the quarters Michael shares with Tilly, feeling anxious, but wanting to resolve this. Resolve them, convince her he’s changed, learned. That he’s a better man, can be a better man. For her.

The chime of the call is faint, inside. He waits, hoping Michael will come to the door.

“Tilly?”

“Ash?”

She rubs her eyes sleepily and blinks a few times, puzzled at his appearance, a mess of red curls adorning her head. Tilly’s hair has always been impressive, wild, nearly un-tamable and she’s complained of it more than a few times—but the hair is part of her, its own character and personality separate and apart from its owner.

“What are you doing here? It’s…” she glances behind her and back at him.

“0527?”

“Yeah. I came in with Admiral Cornwell.”

Tilly nods, becoming more awake as they talk. She’s not moved from the doorway, and he casts a few looks over her head, trying to peek inside. Tilly catches it.

“So…what brings you…here?” She asks, knowing but trying to stall.

Michael rarely sleeps in their room anymore. And she hasn’t been here in…weeks really. But Ash doesn’t know that. And she doesn’t want to be the one to have to say it.

“Is Michael here?”

“Um…no, I think, she…uh…maybe left a little earlier?”

Sylvia isn’t a good liar. It’s in the way her eyes dart away nervously. The chewing of her lip. The shifting of the feet. It’s so…human, he thinks snidely, but stops, realizing those are Voq’s thoughts, not his.

“You’re lying,” Ash says drily. “Where is she, Tilly?”

“Um….engineering?”

“At 0530 in the morning?”

“You know she likes to get an early start, sometimes.”

Sylvia tries for a smile, but Ash doesn’t buy it.

“You don’t have to lie, Tilly. It’s okay. It’s what I get for stopping by, unannounced.” He leaves, and the door closes, but midway down the hall, there’s a computer, and he goes there—knowing the officer badges carry location data.

“Computer, location of Michael Burnham.”

“Michael Burnham is in room 2-1-1-2.”

The number sounds familiar, but he can’t quite place it, so he takes the lift up to the level and steps off. The corridor is empty. Just a few rooms, but as soon as he starts walking and comes to the door, he stops. Seeing the name inscribed on a panel. Lorca, G.

Captain Lorca’s quarters.

And Michael is here.

He’s mildly amused that he should be surprised at this discovery.

Still, Tyler is not a coward. He came for resolution, and resolution he is determined to get.

So he presses the chime.

The sound is soft, yet insistent, lulling her out of sleep and at first, it’s difficult to place, as she slowly wakes to find the space beside her empty.

It’s 0616.

The chime again—someone at the door and Michael is confused as to why it would be ringing.

She rises, still in uniform from the night before, and makes her way to the door.

It opens and she’s shocked. And shook, there’s no hiding it—all over her face as she freezes, seeing Ash standing there, looking at her with distrust, and hurt.

“Thought I’d find you here,” he says. “Let’s talk.”

Deer in headlights, he thinks, staring into Michael’s big brown eyes. Those were the first things he noticed about her—how wide they were, beautiful and almond shaped, with long lashes and an innocent, yet tired expression—somewhat sad, somewhat guarded. He was captivated in the moment, thought she was beautiful, even if she herself could have cared less about how she appeared to others.

It was the stiff formality that caught him and the sudden, revealing moment of weakness when she collapsed in pain on the mess hall floor, appearing injured. He thought of her as doe-like, elegant, slender limbs and something made him want to reach out and try to protect her in the moment, never thinking that in the end, she’d be the one to protect him. She’d reminded him of the animal, skittish around him at first, and he’d thought her somewhat naïve, but endearing, slightly socially awkward but attractive, admiring that she could go through so much and still maintain her decency. At least, he’d thought her decent. Thought her innocent, too.

Maybe she wasn’t always so innocent. Maybe she wasn’t so decent. Maybe it was all in his confused, trauma-induced mind. Maybe it was what he wanted to believe, needed to believe—that someone could love him when he was still struggling to reconcile images and memories he wasn’t sure were real or imagined; to find a way to love himself after losing himself to the darkness that was his former tormentor and jailor, his Klingon lover, L’Rell. If Michael became his light, L’Rell was his shadow.

Maybe this particular angel was always out of reach.

Maybe he would have done better to leave well enough alone.

Gabriel, the usurper, had warned him.

He’d ignored Gabriel.

Now, here he stands, looking at her, in the quarters of the man he’d tried to steal her from.

“So this is why you wanted me gone?” he asks. “This is why you let me go?”

“I let you go because you lied to me.” Michael’s voice is level. But her face is filled with concern.

“I don’t want your pity.”

“You don’t have it.”

“Why him?” It’s jealous.

Her steely gaze never leaves his, lips pursed into a tight line.

The non-answer is the reply, and Tyler remarks, “so you lied to me, too.”

“And to myself.”

It’s all he needs to walk away, knowing she was never his to begin with. The thought gives him pause. The sense of possession that comes with it. Again, not him. Voq. He knows well you can’t own or possess another person. But Voq feels an entirely different way. And Tyler knows then he will always be trapped in this particular form of hell. That he’s better, but not quite. That he will always struggle between two people forced into one body. And Michael is just the cusp of it.

Lorca II

“Are you sleeping with her?”

Of course, Katrina would know.

“And if I was?” he defends.

“You know better.”

It comes out before he can stop himself. “So did you, when you decided to sleep with him.”

Neither of them have ever fought fair. They know where to poke. Where to jab. How to hurt. And there’s been plenty of it to go around of late. They’ve never stood on even, solid ground. Part of their attraction. Part of their repulsion. Lorca takes the low road.

Katrina’s pupils expand and darken. She visibly draws back, and he’s immediately ashamed of himself. “Kat, I--” he reaches out, but she slaps him. Hard. So hard, it makes his head snap to the right, and he brings a hand up to the burning, stinging side of his face. That’s going to leave a mark. Not the hand itself, but the ring on the middle finger. It’s been there for more than two decades. Promises made. Promises broken.

A welt is quickly forming on the broken skin.

“You’re what? Sorry?” She scoffs. “I’ve heard that one before.”

Oh yes, she has. Many, many times. Lorca works his mouth but nothing comes out. The words don’t form. Because he’s not sorry for it. What he’s sorry for are all the other things. What he’s really sorry for is how he ruined them. And he’s sorry it took him more than two decades to realize that he was the poison in their relationship. But how to tell her this? How to explain it, without sounding like he’s making excuses?

“So this is what we are now,” he says, rubbing the side of his face warily, remembering that Katrina is heavy-handed. “You’re mad at me for something I didn’t do.”

It’s not about him sleeping with Michael. Lorca knows it. Katrina does too. What got him slapped is what he said. About her. About the other him.

“You hate me,” Lorca says slowly, “because I look like him.”

“And talk like him. And act like him.” Katrina finishes, slumping down into a chair, her fury beginning to wane, and tiredness starting to take over. It’s been a long war. It’s been a long two years. It’s been a long, six months. So much between them, stacked up like a monument to failure on both sides.

He takes a chair opposite, rubbing his temples.

“He tricked me,” she says so softly, he almost misses it.

Almost. But he knows to stay quiet. To listen, not talk.

“He tricked me, and I wanted so badly to believe it was you. I just couldn’t face it. So I let myself be tricked. Anything, to believe for a little longer that I hadn’t lost you when I did.”

“Eighteen months, Kat.”

They’re not looking at one another.

“Eighteen months I scraped and I fought and I killed, and I was tortured, and I tortured—anything I could do to survive—and the only thing that saved me, kept me even remotely sane,” he swallows, voice growing thicker, darker, “was making it back to you. I was trying my damnedest to get to Tahoe. And when I finally make it, you--”

Beat him. Yelled at him. Slapped him. Railed at him. Twenty-five years of fury unleashed when he least expected it, when his own body and soul were damaged nearly to the point of disrepair and he was still barely clinging to the fact that he wasn’t dreaming, that he was back, and to see her, standing there—gun drawn, ready to shoot him. And then later, when she did. Not with a phaser, but with her words. She’d killed what he thought was left of his humanity when she did that.

No tether.

No anchor.

“You left me to suffer,” he tells her. “I’ve suffered every single day for more than two years, and you act like I left on purpose. That I did this intentionally. That it’s my fault—what happened when I was gone. I never left you, Trina,” he says, using the nickname reserved between them, “but as soon as I stepped off that platform, you’d already made up your mind.”

She let him go. Let him drift.

It’s the first time they’re being completely honest with each other.

“Tahoe was a pipe dream for us,” she says quietly, remembering the night they fought over her promotion. How angry she was that he wasn’t more supportive. How angry he was that she could even consider it.

“You were never really there.”

She’s bringing back years. He can’t argue with her there. “I thought we promised to try again. We swore that to each other.”

“Maybe I never believed you could keep a promise,” she tells him. “So many of those you broke.”

Exactly what he told Michael, he did.

This was never one for him to win. He knows it. And he’ll let her have it.

“So what do you want to do with me, Katrina? Does it make you feel better to know what I’ve suffered too? Does it make you feel better to know karma actually works?” A harsh, dry laugh. “Are we finally, even now?”

He looks at her, those eyes ever sharper, the blue deeper, and in them, all she sees is grief and pain. And it cuts her.

A man too proud to beg. Too strong to be broken. Physical pain has never bothered Gabriel—she knows its emotional stuff he can’t handle. The reason why he ran. Ran until he couldn’t anymore. She knew what she had a long time ago—and if she’s real with herself, she also knows it’s not his fault. Not all his fault. It takes two. Two to fight, two to love. There’s blame on her too. Because she pressured him to stay when she knew he wanted to go. Tried to force him to settle down when she knew it wasn’t his nature. And the pregnancy—a last-ditch effort when she felt she was losing him. She used his love to her advantage—but caged birds always find a way out—and that’s what he did. Neither of them were perfect, but…

“I’m sorry, ‘Trina.”

“For what?” Her breath is hitched. Almost afraid to hear what he’s going to say next. He doesn’t. Just gets up and comes to her chair to stand before her.

“For Jeremy.”

One tear. A traitor to its master, slipping from its stony prison to make an escape down her cheek. Jeremy. The name they chose for a child they wouldn’t get to see.

“I’m sorry about Anthony.” The husband she lost because Anthony knew her heart wasn’t in it. A marriage built on splintered glass. Settling for something because nothing wasn’t an option.

“And I’m sorry for Tahoe.” Their house on the edge of the lake. The retirement plan. The one promise they swore to each other they’d keep. The one destroyed by war.

“I do love you, Katrina,” Lorca tells her. “And I am so, so sorry it was never enough.”

Not then. And after everything else, not now.

“I’m sorry too.”

The voice is far softer. More resigned. Accepting. No more struggle here. No more fighting—they both see the writing on the wall.

She tells him what she knows. That she’s always known the kind of man he is.

“But…I tried,” he says, weakly.

Katrina stands to touch to the side of his face. Her fingers slide down the welt. Red, angry, a thin crimson streak of red down the middle, but it doesn’t bleed.

“I know you did. I’m glad you did.”

Because they both know it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. No matter the bad…there was always so much more good there.

A soft smile graces her face.

“I love you, Gabriel.”

“Trina.” He comes to hug her, and this time, she doesn’t flinch from his touch, just wraps her arms around him, and rests her head against his chest, feeling his warmth, drawing strength from his surety of presence. It feels like going home. Like the friends they are, even now.

“I love you too.”

They do, and they always will. He’s in her bones, and she’s in his. Yet they’re old enough and wise enough to have finally learned the difference, between loving, and being in love.

Loving suits them just fine.

#star trek: discovery #fanfiction #ussarchangel #michael burnham x gabriel lorca #gabriel lorca x katrina cornwell #gabriel lorca #michael burnham #katrina cornwell

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