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#also every time someone puts some very kind tag on my posts with my house about how nice it is
hellenhighwater · 2 years
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My sunporch--which is really just a big weird hallway with no insulation--is getting some work done today. The floor has just been plain decking and the room as a whole is a heat sink in the winter, which is a problem. So the deck floor is coming up, insulation and plywood is going down, and it's getting ceramic wood tile floor put down. The drywall is getting finished--previous homeowner had a dog that he seems to have kept in the sunroom long enough that it chewed the corners off the partially-done drywall that was put up in there. And the windows are getting trimmed in, which they weren't previously.
All of which will not have any effect on my secret dungeon stairs, which have been blocked off for decades and are hidden behind a vault door in the basement. The coal stairs serve no purpose now aside from providing a view to the underside of the sunporch floor, and, also, creeping people out a little.
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Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023
Tagged by @mistmarauder and I'm pretty sure I'm contractually obligated to do as she says so...
Top Five Blorbos: Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley, Patrick Jane, Edgin Darvis, Xenk Yendar
Top Five Fandoms: 9-1-1, Fast & Furious, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, The Mentalist, The Witcher
Top Five OTPs: Buddie, Xedgin, whatever the hell Dom/Brian is called (there is so little fanfic for them I am weeping), Jisbon, House/Shenanigans uh I mean House/Wilson/Cuddy
Shoutout to Some New Friends: @princessfbi and @tulipfromtheinternet have been very kind to me, leaving treats out on their porches for me to sniff. I even let them pet me after a few months of slowly earning my trust!
Shoutout to Some Old Friends: @mistmarauder and @catdadeddie are two friends I grew closer with this year, and have done a lot to restore my trust in people. They've put up with an unfair amount of prickliness and distrust on my part with grace and love. @evcndiaz has also put up with me dropping into her inbox with fun (horrifying) facts about human anatomy, which earns her a gold medal. And of course @givemeunicorns @devilsbrokerank @captainofthefallen and @extasiswings continue to be my rocks and remind me that there are good people in this world, and that some of those good people might actually love me.
Favorite Creation You Posted This Year: Genuinely I feel like with my Halloween fics I have done the best work in my fanfiction career. I'm shocked at how proud I am of the fanfics I put out this year, including my Wednesday fic and my Xedgin fics. It's impossible for me to choose a favorite.
Favorite Creation Posted by Someone Else This Year: @kittykatthetacodemon had me reading fic for fandoms and ships I'm not even in or shipping? she's just that fucking good? holy shit go watch Mag7 and then read her fics just. just do it.
People Who Brightened Your Year: @lisbonsteresa always and forever brightens my days, and it was a delight this year to be in the same fandom again as she got me hooked on The Mentalist, @mistmarauder always makes me laugh even (especially) when she's roasting me, and @extasiswings helped me get away from the real world a couple times when I needed it.
Anyone Else You'd Like to Mention: I'm so grateful to all of my readers, always. Your enthusiasm and comments are what keep me going. Thank you thank you thank you.
Five of Your Favorite Authors This Year: I'll be honest I have barely read any fanfic this year since I simply haven't had time but a quick shout out again to @kittykatthetacodemon because Mist forced me to read her fanfics at gunpoint and I've never been so happy to be at gunpoint after reading them. I've reread her Hobbs & Shaw fics literally a dozen times, she nails the hysterical over-the-top banter from the F&F films and it has me giggling every time.
Oh and @henswilsons. Forever and always making me laugh with your delightful fics. Never stop, dear.
Five of Your Favorite Artists/Gifmakers/Podficcers/Etc. This Year: @captain-hen so many times I see a gifset that makes me insane and it's by you, you menace. @like-the-rest-of-la lovely art from a lovely person. @bucksketch you make art that has me screeching and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. @mistmarauder your podfics, babe, you know how much I adore them. Um I'm terrible at remembering urls (I'm even worse with names). Uh. Um. Uhhhh. Uhhhhhhh... *we're all still waiting days later*
Three Things You're Looking Forward to in 2024: 9-1-1 SEASON SEVEN BABEEEEEEY
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creekfiend · 3 months
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Howdy, so Ive got a questions.
I was one of the lucky few mentally ill kids who didn't have a horrific experience with institutionalization, and there's definitely a lot more going on under the hood of my mind than is on any kind of record that i haven't brought to any sort of doctor for fear that i will be denied any sort of recourse in my own life (Autism, CPTSD and suspected BPD). I say this to let you know I'm being genuine in my questioning despite being behind anon.
I saw a post in which it's stated that mental illness as an industry and field of study is meant to pathologize "normal" reactions to capitalism and systemic tragedies, but like. Capitalism didn't make me autistic, or traumatize me, or neglect me into developing a disorder. I agree wholeheartedly that mental illnesses can be developed in response to circumstances outside of someone's control, but i can't in good conscience sit here, remembering a time when i was sat up in bed at 2 am having a psychotic break, convinced that i was still dreaming and that there was something after me as i sob and convulsed in terror and say in good conscience that people who have to experience that sort of terror every day don't need some sort of means to help them maintain some semblance of a life.
I say this because the posts ive been taking issue with are classing the very concept of psychology as a field of study and medicine as an inherent moral evil on the basis of stigma and ableism being prominent in the field. And while i again, wholeheartedly agree that stigma and ableism colors much of psychology, i can't help but see exactly how much good it COULD do should stigma and ableism be removed completely from the equation. Replace biases and preconceived notions with a basis of compassion and understanding, if you will.
Is this a movement that denounces the entire study of mental health and the treatment of it as degrading and immoral by nature? If so, what does the antipsych movement have in mind as a means of helping those in mental distress without a means to examine and classify different types of mental distress? Am i misunderstanding the gist of these concepts? Is there some sort of contingency to deal with those of us with uglier manifestations of mental health to put it lightly? For those whose mental health would absolutely benefit from being placed somewhere safe with other like-minded people for a time, is there any room for such a thing as a treatment, so long as it's voluntary, like an actual hospital treating an illness instead of a prison housing criminals?
I just. Want to understand, because the understanding I'm currently getting is distressing to me, as i initially thought antipsych as a "treat nuerodivergent people like normal actual people and also abolish the use of mental institutions in their current, oppressive form", as opposed to those who seem to be saying (and please, genuinely, correct me if I'm misinterpreting this) to abolish the study of psychology altogether.
if you read the contents of my tag and you still think that this is a relevant question I don't know what to tell you
like
...
I simply don't im sorry
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annerbhp · 6 months
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20 questions for fic writers!
@runawaymarbles tagged me, but she said I could do it anyway if I liked.
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
114
2. What’s your total ao3 word count?
1,436,497
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The big ones were Stargate and Harry Potter and The Untamed. I've also dabbled briefly in CSI, Leverage, Firefly, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Last of the Mohicans.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
It's all HP fic, which I think speaks both to the size of that fandom, but also that I started writing for that fandom as I moved to AO3.
The Changeling (HP, Ginny) The Armistice Series (going to cheat and put these all together, HP, Harry/Ginny) we can't control (watch me unfold) (HP, Harry/Ginny) gone was any trace of you (HP, Harry/Ginny) half awake and almost there (HP, Harry/Ginny)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do try to respond to comments, because each and every one of them mean a lot to me. But I am not always great about it. I think I kind of respond in giant bursts? So there are times when I just don't, often because I am totally focused on getting the next chapter out or something, but then I will just sit down on day and just mass respond to a lot. I could always be better at it though.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Interesting. I am in no way afraid of angst, but I usually like to at least have a hopeful ending, if not a wildly happy pay off ending. I'm not sure I've ever done a full tragedy ending. Outside some one-off comment fic or ficlet posted here or there.
I think down here among the wreckage (Sam/Jack, SG-1) is my most infamously angsty fic of all time, and I never completely got to finish it? So it ends pretty darn angsty. Though maybe Beneath the Stains of Time (boy, I used to love a good apocafic!)
my kingdom come undone (Untamed, wangxian) is pretty darn angsty too, I suppose.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Hopefully almost all of them? Though, I suppose I mostly like to exist in the "here's some pay off after angst, but I'm never gonna say everything is all good because it never is" area.
Maybe Life is What Happens which is sort of a coda to who Harry/Ginny could have ended up being?
8. Do you get hate on fic?
Occasionally, but not that often. I've only gotten something I would consider straight up hate speech twice, and those just get immediately deleted. Otherwise it's mostly someone telling me what they don't like. Some people really hated The Changeling. And some people really think I hate Hermione for some reason and hated that. Oh, boy and now I'm remembering the time I mentioned the mere possibility of a different pairing (Sam/Daniel) than my usual ship at the time (Sam/Jack) and got a lot of hate about that!
9. Do you write smut?
Not in the beginning, no. I distinctly remembering @holdouttrout and I being like "how can people write smut! I could never!" and then not so long later we had a good time coming back and laughing at ourselves and each other as we wrote smut. Lol. Good times, Trout!
These days, yes, I am known to sometimes write smut. I don't do a lot of PWP, but I think smut can be a great part of storytelling and character development. I'm not sure I'm any good at it, and it's probably the kind of writing I am least confident in, but I'm usually willing to try a hand at it.
10. Do you write crossovers?
Very occasionally I have. Mostly in response to a challenge or a fest or some sort of organized event. It can be fun to just take two things you like and brainstorm what it would possibly look like to smoosh them together. I think the biggest crossovers I ever wrote were a SG-1/Firely one (Raggedy Edge) and a SG-1/House MD one (Unexpected). Both were fics I wrote for someone else. (Man, I have this SG-1/Leverage fic that I always wanted to write but doubt I ever will. I think I had Maggie as one of Jack's cousins or something.)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. People have occasionally posted one of my fics in weird archive or something. But no one's ever tried to claim one of my stories as their own.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, a few! I know there are a few languages for The Changeling. Though I'm not sure if any were ever finished. I've had a few requests for various things over the years. And then I put up a "feel free to do without asking" disclaimer, so who knows!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, that is not something I've ever done. I'm always impressed by that. And some of the best fics I've ever read have been team written. (A Narrow Bridge by @frameofmind9 and Jo Lasalle, it's AMAZING.) I find it such an interesting and impressive idea. Not sure I'd be able to do it, but it's interesting!
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
I feel attacked. What kind of a question to ask a shipper. Well, there is always what takes up all my brain space in the moment, which is Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian in The Untamed. But Sam/Jack (SG-1) was my first and will always own a part of my brain.
It's interesting too, because there are ships I adore, ships I love to read about, and ships I love to write about. And those three don't always align. I think Sam/Jack and Wangxian have been the two biggest ships for me that touch all three of those at once.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?
Excuse me as I open my writing folder and gesture at everything all at once. Okay, I'll be nicer to myself. I am in a space where I feel like I will never finish anything ever again, but I will have faith!!
There's really too much. So many HP fics that I am sad that I will probably never get to. There's a time travel fic, there's a Harry never went to Hogwarts AU, oh, man, the zombie fic. So many.
There's a ton of SG-1 fics I left half-imagined, but it's been a decade since I stopped writing for that fandom, so I'm more distant from it now.
I want to finish them all!!
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hm. This is hard. Probably because saying nice things about ourselves is hard and feels like being egotistical or something. Lol. I think I really like weaving various plot lines, themes, and character development, probably because that is the thing I love doing and so have spent a lot of time experimenting and practicing. I think I also have an ability to trust my instincts with what is working and what isn't, even if I'm stubborn about ignoring it sometimes. Can being stubborn as hell being a writing strength. Because that, honestly.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I have very little discipline. People who can outline something and then just knock a draft out are amazing to me. I am very slow and only tend to write when I'm in the mood. I think I can also be overly sensitive to unsolicited criticism. And in some cases solicited criticism from someone I haven't built trust with. That might mostly be the giant case of imposter syndrome I lug around with myself. So I might be sensitive, but I've been trying to build my skills in hearing it and reacting appropriately in a constructive way. I feel like brevity is another problem! Just look at this darn post!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Honestly, I don't attempt it. If someone is speaking a different language, I am more likely to just put the dialogue in italics or something, if whoever the POV is understands that language.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Stargate SG-1. At least the first I ever wrote and shared. I think I wrote fanfic in my head for decades before realizing what it even was. (Let's say that I had quite the crush on Wesley Crusher and fantasized ways some OC self-insert might be able to marry him while also being adopted by Picard. Ah...the early 90s. What a time to be alive.)
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Wow, and I thought some of these earlier questions were rude. 😂
I'm going to cheat and say that whatever i am currently working on is always my favorite.
Also, I really liked who i am at the end of the day which is so obscure that no one ever read it. (I think it has like 2 comments and one of them was @runawaymarbles being nice to me. <3 )But I just love a lot about it. Sometimes I daydream about removing the serial numbers and turning it into it's own thing.
Tagging @pepperf, @holdouttrout, @narukoibito, @mylittleredgirl, and YOU that person who wants to do this.
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springstarfangirl · 8 months
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Hiya! I'm trying to write a Jewish character, can I have some help please? I really want to make her good positive representation
Sure thing! Though do keep in mind that I am only one girl from one stream of a religion that has itself a history of over three millennia, so I can only speak for what I know, that being Orthodox Judaism.
(also this is getting quite long, but I don't know what I expected- the rest is going under the cut.)
So one thing to keep in mind is that Judaism is more than just a religion. It's also a culture, and even just being raised around it- even if your character is secular (doesn't perform the commandments) or atheist/agnostic (doesn't believe God exists/doesn't know if God exists)- it will very much affect your character's mindset and possibly show up in their life in other ways.
In fact, the reason why I separated secular from atheist/agnostic is part of that- Judaism, due to putting more emphasis on the doing than the believing, doesn't really care if you actually believe in God. There are people who very much perform Judaism as a cultural ritual more than as a religion, and they are just as valid as the people who believe that God is there in every corner.
Okay, so what kind of cultural mentalities can you add?
For instance, the idea of proselytizing is forbidden in Judaism. So the way charity differs from tzedaka can be huge. Tzedaka comes from the root word tzedek, justice, and is seen as a way to help someone who's down on their luck to get back on their feet. Not an opportunity to convince them to join your religion. *stares angrily at American charity orgs*
This has a massive effect on how Jewish people see the world. Giving to and helping other people makes us happy, and that in itself is reward enough.
On the more cultural aspect, the menorahs you always see on TV shows? Inaccurate. Those are specific to one holiday, Chanukkah, which is not only a rather minor holiday but is also sometimes viewed as the "Jewish Christmas" when it really isn't. Instead, what any Jewish household would really have is books, and lots of them. The way we view the Tanach is very different from how a lot of Christians view the Bible- it's rarely literal- and so often you'll find a lot of books about Jewish law hanging around. Also, prayer books and candlesticks. Adult Jewish men are supposed to pray three times a day, so someone is bound to leave their prayer book lying around. And the candlesticks are from the "ceremony" (I say, struggling to find a better word) where we welcome Shabbat on Friday just before sunset. A lot of families keep them out all week.
Food is also massively important. Do your research on what's kosher and what's not (though if your character is Reform this may not apply as much- again, I speak from my own experience only) and try to stick to that. That might involve a Jewish character avoiding eating outside the house unless it's a packaged item (which they might check for kashrut symbols), or whispering a blessing before they eat. Kosher meat and cheese are both very hard to find outside of places with a lot of Jews, so they might be vegetarian.
I can't think of anything else right now, so I'll tag @unbidden-yidden because as a convert, they have much more experience with the mindset distinctions between Christianity and Judaism.
Jumblr, feel free to throw all your additions at this post- I need all the help I can get.
I hope this helped at least a little!
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taralen · 4 months
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wowee 😭
I'm in the process of answering the ASKS in order. I'm having a lot of fun so far! It keeps me motivated and helps get the juices going so I can actually work on proper art again.
I've also received some really nice tags on some of my posts, and I, um... You guys are too much. You're going to make this old bastard cry.
The amount of compassion I've received is astounding. GOD, what I'd give to have this kind of kindness earlier in my life. Maybe I wouldn't have turned out to be such a sour, black-hearted SoB.
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It is true, though. BTW, I REALLY DO LIVE IN A DUMP. Please, for the love of GOD someone take me out of this TRASH ZONE. I hate that I relate to Spamton this way. HOLY #%^&.
WARNING: RAGE RANT BELOW
Do I mean a literal dump? UH, depends on who you ask. It's not MY junk, though, and that's the worst part. If it were mine, then at least I'd be able to toss it?!
Well, how should I put it? The house I live in has become a DUMP for everyone BUT me! All this stuff that's not mine, just DUMPED into this house. It's aggravating, and every time I want to get rid of this stuff, I get told, "That's not yours."
It's like #$%^ING HELL. You don't use it. You barely see it. WHY DO WE STILL HAVE IT. GET IT OUT. TOSS IT. Why can't I toss it? IT'S TRASH, AND YOU KNOW IT. I haven't been inside my garage in OVER A (*&)ING YEAR. A YEAR. There are NASTY Things in there I swear you need a HAZMAT SUIT. I AM not KIDDING [[tumblr]] IT IS THAT BAD. I am NOT making any of this up. EVERY DAY IS MISERY.
I've been advised by friends to just toss or sell things without anyone knowing, but you know, in a hoarder situation, it makes things worse!
Do you know how UTTERLY defeating this is? I WISH I could just throw it all in the [[REAL]] trash, but I can't without fearing my OWN stuff getting tossed. Oh yes, MY STUFF, that is worth THOUSANDS OF KROMER at this point. Stuff I take care of... Stuff that has value! I am a cOLLECTor, NOT A HOARDER! I have TREASURES! Hell, I get rid of them sometimes, too... TO OTHER COLLECTORS.
YOU WANT TO LUMP IT TOGETHER WITH THAT TRASH YOU PICKED UP FROM THE STREET? ARE YOU #$%^*ING @#($&ING ME RIGHT NOW. ARE YOU? ARE YOU?!
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HAAAHEAHEAHEAHEAEHAAHEAHEA VERY $#**ING FUNNY. VERY........
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UH. Haha... So yeah! That's my living situation. It's um.. PRETTY BAD!
I told my therapist all this crap and he said, "Goodness. There is a lot on your plate that's out of your control. The hoarding situation on your [[family's]] part is not helping."
OH, DON'T I KNOW IT.
Can I just get a legit BIG SHOT to get me the *&^# out. PLEASE? HEAVEN ARE YOU LISTENING? HAHAHAAH
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just-antithings · 9 months
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(Big of a long one, sorry)
I just came across another one of those "if you put your Hogwarts houses in your bio you're a terf" posts, and in the tags one of the people was talking about how they had a Gryffindor tshirt that was their favourite thing to wear which they just threw away because they'd rather never have such a thing touch them again. Fair enough, what anyone is comfortable with in their personal life is none of my business. But it did remind me of something similar that happened with me.
I own a perfectly good Fantastic Beasts t-shirt. It's the kind that has a simple design and good enough material to last YEARS. I did, of course, buy it before I knew about all this JKR business. Then couple of years ago I was faced with the fact that I own some HP merch and the dilemma of whether or not I should throw it away. This surprisingly came down to a moment where I properly understood and defined my own politics to myself.
At the same time that I had some people in my circles insisting on these performative measures, I was also learning about fast fashion and the very real impacts of clothing trends on the environment. After reading up on it enough and seeing the gross appropriation of "thrifting", it became obvious that the solution is to "reduce" waste, to stop buying more clothes than you need, to stop throwing away perfectly good clothes, to stitch up clothing that needs mending instead of replacing it, etc. The best clothing for the environment is the one already in your closet. That idea. Was I going to make an exception in this case and throw away this t-shirt because someone might think me a class traitor for it, even though whether I keep it or discard it doesn't actually change the support JKR doe or doesn't have anymore? On the one hand it was just one tshirt and it would keep me safe from my peers in those liberal circles. On the other hand it made me feel shame like i had never felt before. It reminded me of every other performative thing I've done in the name of activism and how little it has amounted to. I'm the kind of person who still has my wardrobe from five years ago almost intact with very few changes. Wasteful consumption has a very real cost and I don't do that anymore, so when it came down to tossing that tshirt out it ended up meaning more than it should have. I kept the tshirt. It's still in great shape, it's gonna last many years more as well and save me that much more consumption waste.
What if i had given it away? Would some random person who hasn't ever heard of the JKR drama (consider: I'm not from the West) suddenly become a Terf by wearing it? Would it keep HP and JKR relevant because some person who hardly even knows HP is now wearing a second hand tshirt from someone? When I went to another trans friend's house, who has been there for the community every single day, who has worked hard at the ground levels to create safe spaces for queer people, who has advocated for trans rights in our country, and when i saw their HP merch, what kind of an asshole would I be to call them out on it or say that I suddenly don't trust them because they made a reference to some book we all read as kids? In that moment, sitting with that friend, I also realised how far removed our day-to-day lives actually are from what was considered activism in online spaces. The latter can be great when it's about spreading information and having discussions. But something that reeks that much of simply a performance? Idk, I don't think people talking about HP in their daily lives or wearing an old Gryffindor tshirt or reblogging a gif has as much power over the queer struggle as people here seem to think. It's getting a bit annoying how because I see more posts talking about HP just to tell people who are engaging with it to die than i see actual posts by people just talking about the book. I think the former are the ones actually keeping it more relevant than it is
.
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Rules: post 10 of your favourite comfort movies then tag 10 people.
Thank you for the tag @its-all-ineffable 💖
The Holiday. Hot people Christmassy romcom, what's not to like? What Jack Black does with his character!! Beautiful!! And do I need to say more than Kate Winslet? Also single dad Jude Law in glasses!! Cameron Diaz rocking out to The Killers!! And driving a Mini down a country road and nearly getting wiped out by a lorry. So accurate it's *chefs kisses* Favourite scenes include: Arthur's moment to shine, Miles and Iris in Blockbuster and the tent scene with the kids with an honourable mention for Mr Napkinhead 😂 It's my go-to movie whenever I'm sad because it's just so stupidly funny and adorable.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Jim Carrey. That's all I have to say. Honestly, I've seen this film a million times. I can quote it by heart and do so regularly much to my mums annoyance. The schedule scene is very me anytime I'm invited anywhere 😂 some favourite quotes "Am I just eating because I'm bored" "Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY!" "We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up, and then I'm gonna die!" "The insolence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!" "Nice kid... bad judge of character" (absolutely me with my niblings) It's just the perfect remedy whenever I'm ill.
The Muppets Christmas Carol. I love all the adaptations but this one is my favourite. Me and my mum snuggle up every Christmas Eve and sing along. It reminds me of the magic of childhood Christmases and soothes something deep in my soul.
The Old Guard. This is the only adrenaliney one cos I have anxiety and I need chill shit if I watch a film but Joe & Nicky are my perfect Immortal Husbands and the tiny details of their relationship are all-encompassing and easily distract from all the murder and kidnap 😂
Mary Poppins. Do I need to say more than Julie Andrews? Dick Van Dyke. The outfits. The songs. Suffragettes. Tea parties on the ceiling. Dancing penguins. The merry-go-round horses. When I was a kid my mum used to foster so our house was always full of kids who needed someone to love them, make them feel safe and bring them some joy. That's probably why Poppins is one of my comfort characters, my mum was her.
Alice In Wonderland. Any of the adaptations. They're all brilliant. I do love the 1951 animation though mainly bc I adore the dormouse scene but becoming BFFs with a load of weird and wonderful creatures in a dreamstate is just *chefs kisses* Any scene with The Mad Hatter in any of the adaptations is my favourite but I am a sucker for the clean cup move down scene.
Sherlock Gnomes. I also love any Sherlock adaption but this one's just hysterical. Watson is just done™️. Sherlock and Juliet's squirrel disguise when sneaking through the park kills me every time. Moriarty as a pastry mascot and the fact he has dumb gargoyles as his assistants. Perfection really. Honestly, this film is just so fucking stupid you can't possibly feel sad when you watch it.
Monsters, Inc. bc it might've been like twenty years but I still want a Sully hug!! Also the pure beautiful hilarious chaos that is this film cracks me up. "Mike Wazowski", "Always watching" and "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me" are just killer lines. I absolutely adore The Abominable Snowman too he's just too sweet.
The Addams Family. Any of the films. All of the films. Gomez and Morticia are ultimate couple goals. They adore each other. Support their kids unconditionally. So kind and generous it often gets them in trouble. They're just perfect.
Red, White And Royal Blue. Last but not least, only because it's the newest. This film was amazing!! I adored the book and although the film is different I love that it's basically a 'what if' fanfic of itself. It was genuinely lovely to be able to watch a queer story and be able to relax with it!! Don't get me wrong I love how profound queer films can be but they either have me gripped in anxiety waiting for the shoe to drop or have me reaching for a comedian to brush away the deep-seated sadness. I felt so safe and yeah they have their ups and downs like every couple but I think I'd have felt the same safety with those characters even if I hadn't read the book first. 5* 10/10 highly recommend. Will be watching this on repeat for the foreseeable future.
Absolutely no pressure tags @mickalaem @flowercrowngods @auroraplume @estrellami-1 @i-less-than-three-you @mentallyundone @hbyrde36 @penny00dreadful @adhdsummer @writingfanficsfan 💖
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cookinguptales · 1 year
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That last post I just reblogged was fascinating to me because it was obviously a joke but it actually lined up so well with a common PMDD symptom of mine that I was writing about it in the tags. Then I kind of thought about it again and realized OP doesn’t deserve all that in the tags of their joke post so like. I guess I’ll put those thoughts here instead.
(under a cut, cw: frank discussion of mental illness)
Like I’ll warn here that I’m about to talk about mental illness in some pretty explicit terms. I have Premenstrual Dysphoria Disorder (in addition to Major Depressive Disorder) and for the most part I have a pretty good handle on it. My depression is treatment resistant, but I did some hormonal treatments for years to help with that, my endometriosis, and my menstruation-induced EDS complications.
(Have you ever had menstrual cramps so bad that it dislocated your hips and ribs? I have! Every goddamn month lmao.)
About a year and a half ago, I had to stop taking the hormones because they were honestly making certain things worse, so I had to kind of just. Figure out other ways to deal with it. Working with a doctor, a regimen of cannabis tea and ketamine has helped a lot with the physical symptoms, and has helped some with the emotional symptoms. It’s still not perfect (still get bad days sometimes) but my suicidality is way better than it was.
(People with PMDD are apparently estimated to attempt suicide seven times more than the general AFAB population so like. I guess that’s something to keep in mind.)
That said, my ketamine regimen was fucked up recently because of some issues at the doctor’s office and uh. Well, I’m still kind of building the levels back up. The past few periods have been very rough for me. Mostly physically, but I’ve had some emotional issues, too.
This month, my PMDD has been… I guess not as severe as it was in the past, but boy is it lingering. I’ve been very jittery, very anxious, prone to bad mental loops, etc. It’s been about a week at this point, which is on the long side, but you just gotta tough it out, right?
(Don’t worry, guys, I do know when to reach out for help when symptoms get bad, and have done it before in the past.)
Anyway… one of my least favorite symptoms has come out to play and I’m Dealing with it but I hate itttt. It’s the one that the post reminded me of! And that’s the one where you feel guilty for wanting people to love you.
I think… when you’re dealing with something difficult alone, it’s very normal to fantasize about someone helping you through it. Telling you you’re not a bad person, that they love you, hugging you, etc. Normal stuff like that. I think people sometimes use fictional characters, sometimes real people who love them (like family/friends), sometimes people they make up in their head, etc. I think fantasizing about comfort is fairly normal.
But when you’re in the trenches, your mind is like No It Is Not Normal It Is Bad. I have to remind myself that like… in some ways, it’s kind of like an abusive relationship. During bad PMDD spells, my mind wants to hurt me, it wants to kill me, and it wants to separate me from my support systems. Your brain tells you that burdening others with your feelings is Bad and you are Bad for doing it.
This makes it hard to reach out for help when you need it (again, I do know how to do that, I am safe, I know that I have people who would come to my house right now if I needed them to — and failing that, I do know how emergency mental health intake works, too) but also like… it often gets to the point where you feel like a terrible person for even wanting to be loved.
Like — this is hard to explain, so here’s a sample spiral.
(cw: mental illness, suicide mention. I’m going to try and be as realistic as possible here and that might be troubling for some readers.)
I am feeling bad. I am sad and anxious and scared and feel like I am worthless. I want someone to hold me and tell me they love me. I imagine a person I like doing this. I then think — no, you are a bad person. They would not want to do this. You are putting the burden of your feelings on some unsuspecting person again. It is unfair to use a real person as a mental support. You are forcing them into a situation they did not consent to, and you are using them as a crutch. You are a bad, selfish person and they would hate you if they knew you were doing this. You are asking for too much from the people around you; how dare you ask for love and support? You are worthless and no one will love you and imagining them loving you is unfair to them and frankly very invasive. You are being parasitical right now. Stop imagining people doing things they’d never want to do, you’re such a bad person. Don’t you care about their boundaries? Of course you don’t, you always hurt people because you’re selfish and bad and no one will ever like you. So stop imagining them liking you! Just kill yourself and get it over with, etc. You are a bad thing and bad things should go away and you should stop existing. Stop writing RPF about the people you like, that’s even worse than the crime of just being you. Just kill yourself.
And honestly, this will probably go on for a couple hours and there will probably be a lot of crying. >.> It’s good to keep electrolyte solution around because dehydration just makes it worse.
I’ve dealt with MDD for almost my entire life, but PMDD is… different. There’s a sort of exhausted doneness with MDD, like you don’t want to kill yourself, necessarily, you just want to stop existing. PMDD is different. There’s a very loud, very manic aggression to it. Your brain is very actively trying to kill you. I don’t know how else to put it. It’s like being in a crowd of people all screaming at you at once until you cry, and then screaming at you for crying. There is a mob in your head and it hates you.
It is… very, very loud and very difficult to drown out. I can usually catch the warning signs and head things off before I get into a spiral. Going for a walk is good. Helps break the cycle. Creating is good, too. Makes me feel productive and useful to others, which is a whole other can of worms, but it is effective. And if all else fails, I usually weaponize my hyperfixations lmao. Start up an old video game that I know will take all my focus, or start a new tv show that I know I’ll get fannish about, whatever.
This month has been hard because, frankly, it took me by surprise. It’s a little earlier than it should be and I haven’t had to deal with it as much in the past six months, so I guess I got out of the habit. I didn’t notice that I was starting to get kind of stressed and anxious over small stuff and was beating myself up for feeling normal human emotions. This is usually the big warning sign to me. I will latch onto a negative feeling I’m having and feel very guilty about it. I scratch at it like a healing scab. Then the spirals starts. So I have to keep a watch out for that.
But… like I said, I do tend to withdraw and feel guilty about talking about these things. I feel guilty for wanting to depend on others because I feel like that’s asking too much, a miserable person like me demanding attention from people who are too good for me. And once I start withdrawing into myself and not talking to those around me, things get worse.
Like I said!!! Your brain is abusive and it wants to separate you from your support system — so it makes you feel like a bad person for even wanting a support system.
(I find that it helps, actually, to frame it like that. I can tell that my thoughts are starting to get irrational and it’s like “oh, THIS asshole is back to say mean things to me again.”)
So… idk, I’m trying to talk about it. I figure that I tagged this post appropriately and put multiple warnings on it, so anyone who is reading this wants to be here. Maybe out of curiosity, maybe out of support, maybe because they deal with these things, too. idk.
I’m basically telling my mean brain that fuck you, it’s good to talk about my feelings and no one hates me for it.
Because… this is the big thing… I was thinking about that one Tumblr post… the one that was like “the me in your head is nice to you, right?”
I want the me in your head to be so nice to you. I want the me in your head to hold you and tell you you’re a good person and that I love you. Even if I don’t know you. I want the me in your head to be so damn comforting.
I love the idea of being a comfort to people. That’s… why I write so much of why I write, I think. There’s nothing that chokes me up like finding out I’ve managed to comfort someone that I don’t even know. Is there anything more beautiful than comforting and supporting others in this bitch of a world?
NO we gotta be kind.
So… if I want the me in your head to be so, so kind, why do I feel so guilty for wanting the you in my head to be nice to me, too? Why do I feel like I am so innately unlovable that even fantasizing about someone loving me could stain them somehow? Like I will stain their clothes with my own awfulness.
I DON’T. I don’t feel that way. I have been doing so much better lately. I have been reaching out to people and doing fun things and spending time with people and thinking about loving people and them loving me back. I’ve thought about people loving me!!! And I’ve started to have the creeping hope that it could happen! That I am worthy of love.
Guys, I’ve been better. I know that all sounds like not much, but it’s been so easy for me to convince myself that no one will ever love me because I’m sick, I’m disabled, I’m unattractive, I’m unkind, I’m cringe, I’m annoying, I’m selfish, etc. It’s been so easy for me to find a million excuses for why I, out of all the people on this earth, will never be loved.
So… feeling hope that that’s not true is actually a very big thing for me, and something that I’ve been delighting in recently.
All the things in my head are fake and mean and… you know, hormones. That’s all.
Idk, this was meant to be a discussion of one small part of PMDD but I guess it ended up being a ramble about a lot of things. I’ll admit that it’s much more difficult for me to be focused and eloquent when I’m dealing with these symptoms. I had a moment where I wanted to apologize to anyone still reading this, but — instead I’ll thank you for spending your time with my words. For whatever reason you decided to do it, for whatever reason you’re still here, I appreciate that you did it.
I want the version of you in my head to be nice. And I want to thank you for being nice. And I want to be nice to you, too.
In conclusion
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Now I’m gonna go take my medication and be quiet for a while.
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cataztrophi · 5 months
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by: @noodyl-blasstal thanks!!
Tagging: @fandomsnstuff @duck-newton I think a lot of people have been tagged already but if you haven't pls consider this an invitation to answer these as well!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
2 currently, but I plan on putting up my TAZNC work at which point I will have 15!
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
4,680 right now, but that number will increase by a lot shortly since I think all my TAZNC works were between 1,000-4,000 words.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
TAZ, and I've got a few Owl House things in the works I hope to finish some day.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Show Me Yours, then The Thing With Feathers
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! I love receiving comments and I love being able to talk a bit about what I was thinking when I wrote things.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't usually write a lot of angst, but probably this unnamed ficlet because nothing really gets resolved at the end, although it is a fairly hopeful ending.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
It's hard to pick, I write mostly things that leave a lot of possibilities open, but I'd say probably my 10th entry for TAZNC this year (man I really gotta name these things) because I think the emotional journey makes the ending more satisfying.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nope! I've only gotten very kind words and I'm extremely grateful for all of them.
9. Do you write smut?
Yup. Nothing I'm quite finished with yet but I have several in the works and I hope to get some posted soon
10. Do you write crossovers?
They're not really my style, but I think they are fun to think about and play around with!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of, and I'm small enough right now that I think it's unlikely.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I've heard of
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I did once on a previous account, unfortunately I was very bad at finishing anything at that point in my life and I hadn't gotten on ADD meds, so we didn't finish it (my fault). I'd like to co-write something at some point, but I think I'd need to have more practice with writing/finishing longer stories before I felt confident about doing it again.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Taakitz babey! Top tier meet-weird plus some truly beautiful moments, and such a great dynamic to play around with
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I'm not sure I'd say "never," but there is one Taakitz fake dating fic that I would need to seriously rework in order to make it coherent. I hope to finish some version of it someday, but it certainly won't look like the current WIP.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Boy I wish I knew! Someone told me I have a "lyrical" writing style, so I'll take it! I do really like working with the flow of words. Also I wrote a lot of tender romantic scenes when I was a touch-starved closeted high schooler, and I was surprised by how easy those scenes feel to write in my current work.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I have a tendency to write too much lead-in and too much ending if I'm not careful, so I basically have to chop off the first and last bits of every fic. I am very bad at coming up with plots. I worry a lot about capturing characters' voices and can struggle with differentiating them. And as previously mentioned, I tend to start a lot of things and not finish them, although I think I'm improving in that regard!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I'm very wary about it for myself. I could just about manage French but for anything else I'd want someone fluent to look it over for me.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Good Omens, back before the TV series came out! It was a pretty small fandom at that point, and I had to get my Aziraphale/Crowley angst out somewhere when I only knew like three people who'd read the book
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
I'm really proud of my TAZNC work, but I think I'm still proudest of The Thing With Feathers because I feel like I did exactly what I wanted with it and captured everything I was hoping to.
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cactusspatz · 2 years
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April recs
A bit late this month since I had to send my computer off for repairs (RIP my stickers, but at least it was mostly cosmetic damage), but I made it! I'm putting the 7 Star Wars fics of various pairings above the cut, and the 5 miscellaneous fandoms (Nirvana in Fire, Life 2005, Lord Peter, The Untamed, Our Flag Means Death) underneath.
STAR WARS
Cody/Obi-Wan
Worth a Thousand Words by @glimmerglanger
“You need to show him what you have to offer,” Fives said, which sounded shockingly like relevant advice. Cody blinked over at him.
“What?” he asked, because, honestly, he’d take any advice he could get, at this point. The war had been over for nearly six months, and he’d made no progress on his own.
Fives slammed back a shot of his own and then--kind of leered over. “You need to give him a look at the goods,” he said, and then, pointedly, dipped his gaze down.
OR, the one where Cody takes some very bad advice and has to deal with the consequences.
*wheezing with laughter* AKA the one where Cody sends a dick pic. Post-war, no Order 66, very funny and sweet. Also, it didn't really hit my embarrassment squick despite being tagged for that, because it's not mean-spirited about it, and has some good perspective about how there's a huge gap between the clones' life experience and their socialization for things outside of fighting a war.
Strong Bones by missmollyetc
We must all start as we mean to go on.
Triptych of stories about Obi-Wan and Cody set post-Order 66, with absolutely GORGEOUS prose. The first two will break your heart (especially #2, how DARE), but the last one will gently patch it.
Din/Luke
Blood Ties by scheidwrites
A few things are slightly different, which means everything is different. Boba and Fennec arrive just a bit later, Din takes his jetpack back up to the temple, and so he and the child are both taken prisoner by the Empire.
Fascinating AU and a lovely h/c series that deserves a lot more hits than it currently has.
Pragmatics by Derkish
Admittedly, this is not the first time Luke has wound up at someone else’s kitchen table in someone else’s clothes. But it’s not breakfast, Luke’s not an undergrad scarfing down bacon and eggs to cure the common hangover, and Din doesn’t strike him as the kind of guy he’d meet at a house party. The baby is definitely a first.
Luke is a grad student trying to finish his linguistics PhD after an unexpected leave of absence. His neighbor, Din, is a single dad and delivery guy at Pizza Parsec. (Actually, Pizza Parsec is just a front for the bounty hunters' guild. But Luke doesn't need to know that.)
Fantastic modernish AU that hit the sweet spot for me regarding Luke being a emotional mess with disaster family issues but ALSO a very smart and competent person in his field. I also really enjoyed how the Skywalker family drama was translated into this setting.
A Warrior Dance by twoseas
Luke reacts strangely to Din’s bared face and an overheard conversation leads the Mandalorian to believe the Jedi thinks he’s ugly. Things spiral out of control from there.
Featuring Mandalorian combat without armor, Han and Leia being a little into Din, and Luke being so much into Din he accidentally makes him think he’s unattractive.
This one has been widley recced already, but I finally read it and it's just as charming as promised without the secondhand-embarrassment I feared.
Obi-Wan/Anakin
if i only knew by wanderlove
Newly knighted Obi-Wan Kenobi and his padawan, Anakin Skywalker, have been sent to Ryloth on a simple diplomatic envoy. While there, an unsettling incident causes Obi-Wan to look at Anakin in a new light and re-evaluate...everything.
The Galaxy will never be the same.
aka: "come for the obikin, stay for the tzai and deep emotional discussions that dismantle every single misunderstanding in the prequels."
Very satisfying fix-it AU on many levels, with lots of time and detailed work on building their relationship in a healthier way.
More recs below!
(Nirvana in Fire, vid) ...One More Time by absternr
Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know?
I'm gleefully angry about how perversely perfect the lyrics are for this Jingyan vid, and at the vidder for making it work both on a straightforward editing level and a cheeky 'let me vid this serious historical drama to this iconic pop song' level. I love it <3
(Lord Peter) to translate a passion, to divide a sorrow by nnozomi
Harriet Vane bestows a murder on her college, to the benefit of all.
Lovely character study with Harriet brainstorming a story.
(Life) never thought about love when I thought about home by napricot
“I don’t do undercover,” said Dani. Not anymore, anyway.
“I’ve never really done undercover, or not anything longterm,” said Crews, frowning.
Tidwell leaned back in his chair, unmoved by their protests. “Yeah, gonna be honest, you two are not the preferred undercover picks. You are, however, the only two detectives available who could plausibly pass for a married couple in search of a precious baby to adopt.”
Classic execution of the undercover-married-in-suburbia trope, but perfectly written for these two characters and their whole thing. Post-canon, Charlie/Dani.
(The Untamed) good morning sunlight by @stratisphyre
Next time, Lan Qiren swore he would stay in bed with Xiao Jingfei. Wei Changze could be the one to take their wretched spawn to the market.
AKA Accidental Child Acquisition: The Fix-It Series. So delightful! Low-key Cangse Sanren/Lan Qiren/Wei Changze, which some of you might remember the author writing in a different AU from a prior rec set - that isn't the same continuity and isn't a prequisite though it does develop the triad more if you're curious. This one's all about the (literal) found family and making things happier!
(OFMD) and let your hair hang down by Ark
Stede exhales, warm breath stirring Ed's hair. "Again?"
"Stede," says Ed, "I'd sit on your cock all day for a chair and captain the ship like that if the option was available."
I haven't read a ton of OFMD fic (I think this is gonna be another Old Guard-like fandom for me where I loved the canon but my brain doesn't really want fic), but this one is a gorgeous piece of kinky smut with sharp characterization.
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rookflower · 2 years
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ok, so. i drew every warrior cat! here's a long rambling sentimental reflective-type post on the blog i guess.
I started this blog when I was 15, in 2018. I was bored at a summer job, scribbled Onestar on the back of a sticker sheet, and thought "huh, there sure is a lot of Warrior Cats characters! I've seen some design blogs around, I think there's a "draw 100 cats challenge" people do, wouldn't it be fun if I gave that a try?" I had nothing going on art-wise at the moment, I was losing steam on my Pokemon webcomic and had given up askblogs a while ago, so I quickly fell into it.
Starting out was weird- I'd only read up to about Power of Three at the time, and hadn't read TPB or TNP in quite a while. I vivdly remember someone sending me a request to draw Tawnypelt about 20 cats in or so, and I genuinely couldn't remember who she even was. I think I got a request to draw Jagged Peak before I even knew DOTC existed? I wasn't working off of a specific list, and would miss certain cats out entirely due to forgetting them which frustrated me. Drawing cats was fun, and once I got to 100 eventually I found myself going "well, now what? I haven't even drawn Sorreltail, Nightstar, Appledusk, Spiderleg..." so, i kept going!
Then 2020 rolled around and lockdown hit, and I was suddenly stuck in my house with no plans, seemingly unlimited time, and a desperate need for some kind of outlet that offered escapism from the world.
Drawing Warrior Cats was something mundane and rhythmic but creative and enjoyable, and I found the aspect of looking at it as a challenge alluring, the same way I had when the goal was "100 random warrior cats". How far could I get before having to stop? I couldn't do over 1000 cats, right?
uh.
I could!
sunk cost fallacy or whatever, I guess?
Lot has changed in my life over the course of this. I started the challenge just after leaving high school, and now I'm headed into my third year of uni. Some family's moved around, we have a cat now, I started playing video games again, my bedroom's been revamped, I met some internet friends IRL for the first time, I'm more or less publicly out as gay, all different kinds of stuff. It's fucking wild to consider that one of the biggest constants in my life these past few years has been drawing goddamn warrior cats. I've had the Warriors wiki list of characters open on my computer basically forever, and finally closing it feels like a goodbye.
So what's happening with this blog? Well, I'm not upkeeping a daily queue anymore, that's for sure. There are some cats here I KNOW I'm going to want to go back and redesign at some point though, so this isn't over! Even if I'm less active here, for now, I'm not going anywhere. I'll probably also use this for any general warriors art/posts I want to make, as well as those "send me asks" request meme thingies. those are fun.
I'm hoping to be maybe more active on my youtube now, as well as just generally experimenting with my art more. One of the biggest downsides of spending 3 years drawing fullbody flatcolours of warrior cats and not that much else is that my improvement on every ground except cat anatomy and character design has become pretty fuckin stagnant lmao. I need to make art with backgrounds and shading and non-cat characters again or i think ill explode. time to get out of this comfort zone!!
speaking of, very lucky this thing ended right at the start of Artfight. I'm @/RioBlitzle there and I try to revenge back attacks! Will probably put my energy into that for a wee while.
@daily-mario-characters might come back,, eventually but I'm not promising anything, and if I haven't learned anything from running this blog you might see me on a "drawing every pokemon" streak in a few months. it is how it is.
Anyways, thank you all so much for your support. Massive shoutout to everyone who's ever left nice comments in the tags of my posts, I don't really have a way to respond but I read every one of those and please know that they absolutely make my day.
Thanks for sticking through this challenge with me!
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chopper-witch · 2 years
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I know there is a lot of talk about modern!stranger things rn and it's got cute things with the characters or how’d they would text/sext whatever but... 
Y’all. 
Actual Stranger Things plot in modern times. in 2022 (well, 2019-2022, ig) 
Seriously think about it. 
I just rewatched s2, and Jonathan and Nancy get away with leaving because Nancy pretends to be at a friend's house for a few days by calling from a landline in ILLINOIS. Yeah, sure *67. But *67 in 2022? Ahahaha, Nance, your mom is pulling out “find my iPhone” and hunting your ass DOWN. She can’t find you? Oh, she’s calling the company and asking where the fuck that call just came from. And already texting your friends if they really are with you, and then you have to beg them to take one of those “pretend I took the photo” photos. 
Aliens instead of devil worship. Which still works great because it is clearly a very Christian town 🤧. Gotta get that antisemitism in there. 
The kids are kids still, you know? TikTok is popular. IG Reels are popular. Is it really their fault the NYT does an exposé on the Hawkins Lab because one of them (Dustin) posted a video of Dart when he was small on their alt and added in the tags #hawkins #hawkinslab #realmonsters #monsterarereal? 
#talkshitgethit goes trending after the Angela incident with everyone on Jane’s side after someone else who was at the rink posted a video about everything that happened from beginning to end. The news even gets ahold of it, and the girl went missing in police custody...
They need Suzie to trace something because of course the lab is using VPN shit and heavy firewalls and GPS spoofs and they know how to trace an IP but please, is there some way to trace someone who is using a VPN and spoofs from our phones please help we promise its for a video game and instead of hesitantly believing she goes, “it’s okay if you want to break into the government. I’ve been wanting to try that for a while”
My original idea with them demanding everyone makes a Spotify playlist and share it but then discovering Vecna nerfs lithium-ion batters, so they need to burn CDs and use a player that isn’t rechargeable, but who even has the ability to burn CDs anymore? The library has four 3-d printers... and one ancient computer that is barely booting but still has a CD slot attached. 
The government is trying to clean this up so bad, every single time, but you know, Marvel just came out with their whatever-th movie, Star Wars is still milking itself dry, HBO is still doing Game of Thrones something or another, and both sci-fi and fantasy are still growing in popularity. Alternate dimensions real? Good luck putting that one back in the box. Psionic powers real? Yeah, that’s not going away. 
Especially since in our very real world the CIA was very really trying to do projects very, very similar to what is seen in Stranger Things (and this isn’t a conspiracy - this is a proven fact. MK Ultra had over 100 projects, and much of it was tied to mind control. They also tried to a “projected consciousness” kind of thing literally called “Gateway Process”, the document is here).
God, I could keep going. Something about the idea is so fucking funny to me. Like almost none of this works in the modern world. Or it does, but not as well. 
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hieuthong · 1 month
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ENTRY 7
BYOD (Bring Your Own Best Friend)
Last week one of my close friends asked me to join her for a Pilates class. I originally was going to turn her down because I was rushing to finish up my assignments, but I figured since I hadn’t seen her in a while (literally just 2 weeks) I’d just go for it. We’ve decided to first attend the Pilates class, eat lunch then finish up our assignments together. Pilates was lowkey kind of fun, but I found it a little bit difficult. Both of us were trying to hold in our laugh because our legs were shaking so badly when we had to stretch it out. This also made me realize that I should definitely exercise more because tell me why I felt so weak after that session… We weren’t that hungry, so we decided to ditch lunch and went to a café nearby to start working on our assignments. We procrastinated for quite some time before beginning, which prompted me on why I chose to write on this topic. No, this is not about my procrastination issue. It’s about my close friend that I’ve known for more than a decade.  
We saw a TikTok on how this group of friends grew up together and suggested that we look up our old YouTube channel to recreate it. So, I did, not only did we find our old YouTube channel but we also found our old Musical.ly account where we used to post videos together. We came across this post, and although the caption sounded cringy, but it made us realize how far we’ve come. We always talked about how long we’ve been friends, but it never really hit us until now. I would say back then we were friends because of forced proximity and also cause you know, as kids befriending someone is very easy since all we do is play but now we are friends because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
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Me and Yong Qi alongside two of my other close friends have known each other since we were in kindergarten, so like when we were 4? We’ve known each other for almost 16 years, I have practically known them longer than my own sister. Putting them aside, today’s journal entry is about me and Yong Qi. Ever since I was young, I always felt that I was closer to Yong Qi compared to the others, not to say I’m not close to others but we just hung out more. I remember during primary 3’s year-end holiday, I went to her house every day to play. I don’t even know what is there to play, but we hung out every day. It was probably then that we created our YouTube channel. Looking back, we posted so many embarrassing things, but I guess it’s worth keeping the memories.
As we were talking about this topic, she told me that at some point during primary school she was convinced I didn’t want to be her friend anymore because I had new friends from my class, and to be honest I’m pretty sure I felt the same way. After primary school, we had to part ways with each other because we were enrolled in different secondary schools. During those few years, we sort of lost contact with each other. The only time we saw each other was when our family had our annual Chinese New Year dinner or when our moms went out with each other, and we tagged along. But even so, when we met up it was never awkward, we always had something to say.
Fast forward to after MCO, we started talking again and our bond has never been stronger. It was after my SPM and IGs that we started hanging out again. I would also say college played a big part in bringing us closer again because I had to take maths for foundation, and I absolutely suck at it so I asked her for help. We met up every few days to study and eat lunch together. But to be honest, I think even without that we would’ve been quite close. Ever since then, we occasionally go out together to the point where if we don’t see each other for a few days we’d complain about not seeing each other enough (do you see the attachment issue there). We always joke that we will never survive in a long-distance relationship because we can’t even stand being away from each other for a few days let alone years. As much as I don’t want to face reality, she has plans to study abroad so I’ll have to accept that and be happy for her. Of course, I’m happy for her but it’s just a bit hard to let go, seeing one of your closest friends leave your side but that time has yet to come so for now I’ll spend as much time as I can with her before she leaves me for another country </3</3</3 It’s crazy to think that we’ve been friends for so long, not a lot of friendships can last this long I’d say. Watching us grow side by side since we were toddlers, going through many weird phases, getting heartbroken by the smallest things, crying to each other about stupid things, and many other stuff, we’ve seen it all. The next stage is watching each other succeed in our desired profession, getting married, having kids, and many more to come. (I lowkey got emotional writing this) I’m so grateful that I was able to meet her, and I hope we can carry this friendship till we’re in our 80s or even death. One of my favorite Mandarin idioms ‘白头偕老’ which basically means to live together until the white hairs of old age or to live to a ripe old age in conjugal bliss until death do us part. Usually, this phrase would be used on married couples, but I think I’d like to think of our friendship in this way too.
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bloomingdead · 7 months
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Why would you let someone with school shooter vibes watch your cat?
why would u ask me this when the context was clearly that we teased him for that before i got to actually know him?? also because it was actually just something really mean to say abt him and didn’t actually describe his genuine personality?? like dgmw we didn’t have the best relationship (he was incredibly insecure, i was a closeted lesbian) but he definitely was not about to shoot up a school. he was just a really shy and reserved guy, but he loved all kinds of animals and had a cat of his own that he loved very much and his mom was a chameleon breeder and he helped her care for the little guys. he was totally responsible in the caring for pets department. most of me thinking he did something to hurt my cat would be stored in my paranoia bone.
you know, i really love sharing stories in the tags that relate to what i’m posting/reblogging. it makes me feel closer to my mutuals without annoying followers by making a post of me just rambling about random shit. it’s so Tumblr Dot Com for me to share about my cat dying and anons trying to make me feel bad about it? i was literally 18/19 years old, everyone is fucking stupid when they’re a teenager (yes even u), we all do some silly things. but i’d been dating the guy for ~ 7 months at the time i entrusted him to watch my cat. he already slept at my house around 5/7 days of the week before my trip. nothing had hurt my cat until after that trip.
the vet told me there was nothing they could do other than send me home with some pain killers. they said he should be okay in a few days and he died that night. so who’s really to blame? nobody. pets die and it’s devastating and horrible. my cat was a gift from a friend of my mother’s who had the opportunity to have her calico have babies with a himalayan. himalayans are known for having health problems and kidney failures. that’s most likely what happened to Avery.
every day i miss my cat. his ashes sit on a shelf in my room next to a painting of him the woman who gave him to me had commissioned when i lost him. nobody in my real life thinks i took my cat for granted nor put him at risk in unnecessary ways.
it’s incredibly chronically online for you to ask me why i’d leave my cat with someone who gave off school shooter vibes when the post i was sharing was about how fucking mean it is to say people have school shooter vibes and i gave an example why in the tags. get a fucking life.
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nose-coffee · 1 year
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23 29 49 for tlt!
23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?
hm, difficult to say. most au's/concepts i come up with sort of run away from me at high speed and i end up writing them just based on how much thought i've already put into them, so aside from the chess au i talked abt for one of the other asks i answered, there's only a few au's/concepts i would like to see but haven't gotten around to? a lot of Gideon Raised In Other Houses AU's i generally get hype abt (re: lose my gd marbles abt) like -- Gideon raised on the Sixth alongside Pal and Cam? I'd go bonkers. Gideon raised on the Fourth, achieves cav primary for same-age heir, only to see them killed in a combat zone and return to Tisis to see Isaac named as new heir? frothing at the mouth. Gideon raised on the Second and laying the groundwork for BARI-Star AU? love it love it love it!
29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!
since you said tlt in general, i'll just tell you the top five songs on my gideon and harrow playlists lol.
Harrow's songs are: Bishops Knife Trick by Fall Out Boy (listen to that bridge and tell me I'm wrong), Revolution 0 by Boygenius (oh, Harrow abt the Body anthem my beloved), Under My Skin by Jukebox the Ghost (first song to go on her playlist, fresh from first GtN readthrough), Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain (i'm so sorry but "god loves you / but not enough to save you" and "i always knew / in the end / no one was coming to save me / so i just prayed" is so harrowcore i lose my whole gourd about it), and In Hell by Japanese Breakfast ("hell is finding someone to love / and i can't have you")
Gideon's songs are: Marrow by Thao and the Get Down Stay Down (I won't go on and on abt this one bc im fighting a parallels post heavily featuring lyrics from it every single day and i need to believe that i'll win eventually), One More Hour by Sleater-Kinney (shout-singing, passive aggressive lyrics, heavily sapphic coded = gideoncore to me), Big Black Heart by Better Oblivion Community Center (idk, heart imagery and trashcan ending always give me gideon vibes smth chronic), Kiss City by Blondshell (the lyric "i'm adjacent to a lot of love" floored me the first time i heard it and it floors me every other time to, it's SUCH a Gideon lyric), and lastly but not leastly Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye ft. Kimbra (iykyk)
i will drop the links to their playlists with very little provocation
49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!
i have about a dozen wip's on the backburner that i stir every so often when i remember they're there; dead cav club au, tv show au, various Anastasia the First speculative fics, plus something i'm fiddling w/ that i will tentatively codename "pied piper au" (if that doesn't fully give it away)
BUT!
i am also participating in the tlt big resurrection event (referred to in my tags as tlt bre) and I am working on something that i have been codenaming "fucked up au" on my blog. can't tell you very much, the premise itself gives a huge chunk away, but i've breached 70k on it and still have a good quarter of it to fill in/fully draft. This being said, here's some out-of-context dialogue from the first chapter:
“Teacher said there was no way to contact anyone from Canaan House,” Harrow says, dubiously. She herself has never had need to use one, and even if she had she’s not sure she’d know how to use this relic. It’s quite obviously a lot older than any radio the Ninth has, and there’s an abundance of dials and switches that aren’t even labelled.
Nevertheless, Gideon continues to fiddle with the radio as if she weren’t a cavalier at all, but some kind of tech expert. “Well, he wasn’t lying about that. This is a classic am model; it’s for receiving broadcasts, not sending them.”
Harrow gives the device a doubtful look, “What’s the use of receiving if there’s no way to reciprocate?”
Gideon mumbles something under her breath that sounds suspiciously a lot like that’s what she said, but when Harrow asks her to repeat herself, she says, “I said that’s a good question. Pretty sure it was for entertainment.”
ask game
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