#all their struggles are external rather than internal and because they don't fight

[k8lynjoy]

"This ship is boring," and it's just a couple that loves, supports, trusts, and respects one another.

#stelena #kataang #forwood #troyella #romione #theres probably so many more that I can't think of rn #all their struggles are external rather than internal and because they don't fight #they're considered boring or passionless #passion isn't just fucking and fighting guys #it's intense love and devotion #loyalty and enthusiasm #open up your mind and see the light #free yourselves from the shackles of only finding enemies to lovers or toxic ships romantic

[adhbabey]

Let's talk about some lesser known symptoms of autism! Maybe this will help some of you get a broader perspective on what this can be like. There is a whole grab bag of symptoms of autism, but here are some ones you may not know that you have.

Focus on truth

What does this mean? Well glad you asked. This is the focus on facts and logic rather than anything else. People have shown this as autistic people may refusing to lie because it goes against what they find as true. But that's not always the case.

Have you ever used logic to try and figure out your emotions?

Are you someone who doesn't understand why others may speculate when the current knowledge is right there? (such as subtext versus canon knowledge or theoretical arguments)

Do you find it frustrating when others avoid their problems as a way to avoid figuring out negative things? (such as avoiding conflict in a friend group)

Is it easy for you to talk about your strengths and flaws? Do you know your likes, dislikes and limits pretty well?

High context communication

This is preference on details and the full context of any situation. Often going into great detail and backstory to anything.

Do you feel as though you need to overexplain to give the person everything they need to know?

Have you ever apologized to someone by explaining the deep and meaningful reasons of why you did it, before you said you were sorry? And maybe even felt upset or confused why they reacted badly?

Have you ever felt stressed out because you wanted to give others full detail but they either interrupted you or cut you off?

Are you stressed out by people who tell you what to do and not why they want you to do it?

Are you ever told that you talk back a lot?

Do you prefer recipes versus verbal/vague instructions? (All the things that you need such as ingredients, measurements, prep time, etc.)

Do you really like watching deep dives and knowing about the whole history of something you're even vaguely interested in?

Identity diffusion

This is not everyone's experience, and it is common in a variety of other disorders such as DID and BPD. However, it is when you do not know who you are in regards to others. This is also known as identity disturbance.

Have you ever felt like an outsider without knowing why?

Are you deeply interested on what other people think of you? Especially if it's all the time?

Do you really like taking personality tests and quizzes? Are you interested in horoscopes?

Do you feel like you don't fit in any one specific group? Either being a loner, or hopping in between many different groups?

Do you ever feel weirder than the "weird kids" group? Do you not really get along or feel like you belong with them?

Do you have low self esteem when it comes to comparing yourself to your friends? Do you feel like they're better or more capable than you?

Do you feel drastically unimportant and not as interesting or cool as everyone else?

Have you ever related to narratives surrounding a character that is the last of their kind?

Do you feel like your identity is a vast and gaping void, that even if you learn a little bit, that you'll never know everything?

Internalized repetition

This is one of those traits that not every autistic person experiences, but that some might. You could say that for all autistic traits, but hey, good to know regardless. Because of internalized repetition, you may not do many external stims, besides vocal.

Do you listen to a song over and over again? Perhaps having a playlist on repeat?

When stressed out, do you type the same word or phrase over and over again?

Do you like looking at the same things, such as the same color or the same artist's works?

Do you really like certain patterns, crystals or aesthetics?

Do you enjoy games with recognizable fighting patterns? (Such as character rotation, boss battle rotation, etc.)

Struggling to connect to others *

This is something that's been characterized by struggling to connect to others through their emotions, but the opposite is actually true for many autistic people. *I will be talking about those who struggle to connect to others who are emotionally distant or unavailable. Being emotionally distant or not showing emotions externally is a trait that many autistic people share, but for those without alexithymia, they may struggle to understand why anyone wouldn't like to talk about their emotions. I don't know the specific symptom term for this, so please bare with me. If anyone would like to inform me about what this is called, please tell me.

Do you struggle to talk with dry texters, or tend to over-examine people's tone through text?

Do you have anxious attachment?

Do you feel disconnected with many other autistic people and struggle to make friends or talk to them?

Do you feel embarrassment or shame with being emotionally sensitive?

Have you fallen down the rabbit hole of things like starseeds, star children or empaths?

Do you want to talk about serious emotions a lot, even when its not appropriate?

Do you trauma dump or wish people would become more emotionally intimate with you? Do you enjoy it when people share their deep traumas with you, even if it's triggering?

Are you constantly reassurance seeking?

There is plenty more symptoms out there, and these are just a few that stood out to me, because I think I may be autistic. I've always related somewhat, but never connected the dots. But there are reasons for that, such as identity diffusion and thinking I'm different from everyone else no matter what. I struggled because I didn't seem to have a lot of the outward and visible symptoms that were often talked about. I thought every autistic person had alexithymia, when that's just not true. My best friend, who has similar symptoms to me, along with another close friend of mine, have a similar presentation of autism. And it's taken quite a bit for me to accept or process. I feel like I'm faking my experiences just because I've self diagnosed before. And I'm angry that ADHD isn't given enough significance.

But I think I might be autistic, and this article that I based this post off of, confirmed it. So here's my post informing and coming out on that. You can be autistic and highly masking without actually knowing what's going on is masking. You can be autistic and have a spectrum of verbality, you can be autistic and struggle to connect to anyone who isn't immediately emotionally intimate with you. You can be autistic and not relate at all to other autistic people.

You're not alone.

#babey posts #actually autistic #audhd #autism #autism spectrum disorder #i know its a spectrum disorder but bro it doesn't feel like it #its broader than you might realize #you can be autistic and struggle to accept it #this has been the most frustrating and painful realization #i just. i feel a lot of negative feelings at myself about this #but i want to curate a place for people to exist without judgement #and before the anti self dx ppl come in here. this has never been the blog for you. #if youre like this. you belong here. #and if you just understand this. you also belong here. #you're not alone

[fixyourwritinghabits]

I noticed many of the protagonists I wrote or thought of writing had either no personality or one too self-inserted (sometimes somewhere in between) and now I can't really connect with the protagonists I write so I wanted to know if you have any advice to help me craft more distinct characters and get attached to them.

First, some homework - pluck out about five pieces of media and nail down what you like about the protagonists within.

What about them appeals to you in particular?

Did you like how they grew and changed?

What struggles did they tackle that only they could handle?

Doesn't have to be neat and orderly, just try to nail down what really appeals to you about your favorite characters. When it comes to your own characters, here are some more things to think about:

Are you writing the character you want to write, or are you writing the character you think you should write? You may not be able to connect to your characters because you're trying to make them something you think they should be rather than what you'd feel more comfortable writing.

Are you projecting your feelings on a larger canvas (aka write what you know)? Are you thinking about how your characters would feel in bombastic circumstances (fighting a dragon, running from the cybercops) based on experiences and emotions you've had (facing off with a teacher, hopefully not running from the real cops but hey, you do what you gotta). The best way to infuse your characters with appeal is to take an emotion or an experience you can relate to and projecting it onto your characters.

Do your characters have internal struggles to go with their external ones? Is that high-stakes heist also paired with the character's struggle to display his real emotions? Does the fight with the evil wizard reflect the character's struggles to connect to their dad? If your story is external-plot heavy, a good way to flesh out the characters within is to connect their internal wants/needs/desires with the events going on around them. That zombie fight could be all the more enticing if the main couple is having a massive break-up during it.

Figuring out how to write a protagonist is often more than filling out a character sheet. Great if you can do that (I can't so like, go brag about it somewhere else), but often times you'll have to flesh out the character the hard way, but plotting out their journey before you write it. Work on their inner needs and emotional battles to draw them out as people.

Don't know where to start with figuring out a character at all? Grab an archetype list and get mixing and mashing. You may not come up with usable ideas right away, but you'll be able to pick out the ideas that appear to you until you have a handy list of things to lean on. Tropes are tools to be used, after all, and anything that could add to your characters is a tool with keeping. Good luck!

#characters #plotting #planning

[pecanbrandies]

Elain Archeron & The Themes of Jane Eyre

(Debunking that quote that connects Lucien & Elain with the actual themes of Jane Eyre)

There's been a lot of discourse where Elain stating there's a 'pull on her rib' to a quote has been connected to Jane Eyre and soulmates, specifically between Jane and Rochester.

However, Lucien and Elain are more connected to Jane and St. John, whereas Azriel and Elain are more similar to Rochester and Jane.

Here's why:

To start off, I don't believe anyone's story will be a Jane Eyre retelling because this does not hold up to modern times. But the pivotal themes of Jane Eyre focus on love and desire over duty, specifically when it comes to marriage, autonomy, gender, social status, religion, etc.

Who else do we know that has struggled with this? Perhaps a young Archeron that was raised to be the perfect wife?

Jane refuses to marry St. John because she does not love him, but St. John pressures Jane to ignore her feelings and submit to his powerful conception of moral duty. ⬇️

"You are his mate. Do you even know what that means?" "It means nothing," Elain said, her voice breaking. "You belong to him." "I belong to no one. But my heart belongs to you." - ACOWAR

Jane's duty is to St. John (similar to how Elain's duty is to Lucien), but it is shown that she struggles with duty and responsibility all her life and chooses love (including loving herself) and desire over this. She eventually marries Rochester, who loves her for her internal, rather than external beauty.

Lucien exists as a foil for Azriel in the same way that St. John is a foil for Rochester.

"Bronte created a heroine who wants to learn what love is and how to find it, just as she herself did. Bronte was unusually explict in placing that protagonist amid dysfunctional famiilies, perverse partnerships, and abusive caretakers." - Literary critic Sandra M. Gilbert

I love Jane Eyre - it's a book that I had read for the first time at a young age, a play that I performed in, and I've had a copy on my shelf for as long as I remember. It is certainly not an easy read, but I do feel that it's easy to quote from Jane Eyre, but another thing to actually understand the major themes that Bronte is presenting.

She's a romantic heroine - not a sword-fighting, warrior heroine, but she is still considered to be strong and powerful. (Just like Elain) 🙂

#elain x azriel #elriel #acotar #elain archeron #pro elain

[kindnessoverperfection]

Feel free to ignore this, but I'm a disabled writer who tends to focus on representation in my works, and I came across your posts about having npd while doing research for a side character in a story of mine. I really appreciate you taking the time to write out a description of npd that shows the roots of the issues and the way they affect the people who have it rather than how outsiders perceive it. I just wanted to ask if there were any traits of npd that you personally would like to see in npd representation/ if you have any thoughts on how you'd like to see characters with npd represented in media? I know at current there's basically no positive npd rep, which sucks for sure, but in a hypothetical situation where there was a character with npd who wasn't villianized for it, what sort of aspects of npd would be comforting for you to see reflected in a story?

Once again, feel free to ignore this ask if I'm overstepping at all, and I hope you have a wonderful day <3

Hi!! ♡ Apologies for the late reply, I wasn't on tumblr for a few days, then my alter was out for the next couple days and I wanted to be the one to respond-

I really appreciate that you're taking the time to research and create thoughtful representation, and I'm glad my posts could offer some help with that!

My first two thoughts are:

Characters whose symptoms present differently than the common portrayal of NPD

It's super common for people to not recognize NPD because they have this very limited view of what it is and how it can present - so it would be nice to see representation that shows variety in the way it can manifest.

For example, it's actually very common for someone with the disorder to primarily "lash in" rather than "lash out", but I never see that represented (intentionally, at least).

There's also a very limited perception of narcissistic characters being blatantly arrogant, grandiose, braggy, selfish, power-hungry, etc. But really, there's an unlimited number of ways someone can present outwardly, because the only thing that's crucial to the diagnosis is the internal experience - how if affects the person who has it. How they appear outwardly to others can vary wildly.

(I'll admit, some of these "stereotypical NPD" characters feel very relatable due to shared symptoms and vibes and power fantasies. To the extent that I have one of them as my pfp on some accounts lol. But if you met me IRL, my vibes are just "confident and bubbly, polite, quiet and distant, fashion-oriented, straight A student, cutesy, braggy, adventurous", and I always make the effort to be kind to people even though I can be somewhat distant and goal-oriented.)

It's also common to think of someone "flying into a rage" when they feel criticized - but anger (whether external or internal) isn't an inherent part of it. The issue is that someone perceives criticism as a threat, so their fight/flight/freeze/fawn response kicks in, and there's a large multitude of ways that can show up.

(Personally, I go into either fight or fawn mode. But the vast majority of the anger I've felt has been entirely self-directed, manifesting in the form of self-criticism, self-hatred, self-destruction, overworking, eating disorders, etc. I will occasionally feel outwards anger, but when I do, I give myself time and space to process it by myself so that I don't upset anyone. And even for those who feel external anger much more often than I do, it doesn't mean they'll express it in an aggressive or harmful way.)

tldr; I'd love to see a variety of outwards presentations, with the NPD being shown via their internal experience, rather than only displayed through stereotypical external behaviors.

2. Humanization for characters with NPD who make mistakes

People with NPD are human just like everyone else, which means that mistakes happen. Everyone accidentally fucks up, hurts someone, lacks self-awareness in certain areas, etc.

The level and type of interpersonal struggles, and the reasons behind these struggles, are all across the board. That's understood with any other disorder (or any sort of identity), but there's so much extra baggage and stigma applied when NPD is involved for some reason.

So for characters with NPD with higher interpersonal conflict, I'd want them to be humanized in the same way that anyone else with any other identity would be humanized. And I'd also want it shown that characters who don't have NPD can have high interpersonal conflict as well, that it's not limited to this disorder.

"what sort of aspects of npd would be comforting for you to see reflected in a story?"

In terms of specific aspects-

Personally, I'd love to see a character who like... tries to be perfect. Is externally very put-together in some way - maybe they're very kind and soft-spoken and sweet, or they're silly and happy and energetic, or they're quiet and serious and protective, or calm and mysterious and self-assured, doesn't matter. But everything seems okay on the surface.

But internally, they put so much pressure on themself. They hold themself to impossible standards, and feel like they HAVE to be seen a certain way and never show weakness. They have to handle everything perfectly. Just... so many symptoms and struggles that are hurting them internally, and overtime it ends up bubbling out in small ways, or like. Tbh I'd love it if someone would just... notice.

Notice the perfect bubbly happy straight-A student who's always kind and never shares their own opinions. Notice the quiet, highly-skilled protector of the group who somehow always knows the right thing to say and the right way to act.

And give them permission to be imperfect. To be human. Show them that they aren't their reputation or their skills or how impressive they are, they're so much more than that.

They can see the pain they're in, and instead of treating them as this untouchable perfect being, they treat them in a human way.

The super bubbly character seems completely unaffected by recent tragedy? Okay. Their friend doesn't ignore that. They don't push and prod, but they don't ignore it. They sit with them, spend time with them, hold them, they know it affected them.

I'm imagining a scene where the character w/NPD fucks up somehow, and they seem fine, but someone close to them suddenly Realizes and they just. Go to find them. And they're just having a massive breakdown, but the moment they see their friend, they quickly try and shove everything under the surface and act cool and unaffected and "normal", but their friend goes over and just holds them and. Ungh. 10/10

Couple months ago I did actually see an episode of a show like that, and both times I watched it, I bawled my fuckin eyes out lol.

Different people may have different answers in terms of what they'd feel most comforted by, but for me personally, I'd love this so much, because this is how I present and I desperately want to be Seen and Loved and have someone see my self-worth as being inherent and not tied into how "perfect" I am.

Closing thoughts:

Personally, there's not much that I'd feel offended by. To be honest, in addition to characters who fit the above points (various presentations, average-level interpersonal conflict, etc.), I also write characters who have that "stereotypical" presentation. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as it's not done maliciously, especially if there's other types of characters shown. (Similar to having both gay villains and gay protagonists or side characters, y'know)

The only thing I'd dislike / that would hurt my feelings is like... seeing a character be heavily demonized for their traits*, or the only characters with NPD being horribly abusive, or the usage of stigmatizing language (aka, if the character is spoken about the way buzzfeed articles speak about us).

*aka, demonized for the symptoms. Totally fine if someone does something shitty and it's pointed out as being shitty / if people dislike them for that lol.

Hopefully this isn't getting too long, but to give an example of what I mean, something I saw that did hurt my feelings was like-

There was an episode of a show where a character got super braggy and confident, and was relishing in the praise and admiration she was getting. Hinging her self-worth on that recognition and success. And her friends got annoyed and pissed off, simply because she was braggy. There were a couple of things here and there she did that were kind of insensitive, but that was never really pointed out or seen as the main issue, it was only her bragging that was being demonized for some reason.

And then her friends all ganged up behind her back and did something to intentionally trigger a crash and make her feel insecure and terrible about herself, all to "knock her down a peg". And the narrative framed that as being justified, framed her friends as being correct in this situation. They never once showed concern for her mental health or the fact that she was hinging her self-worth on other people's opinions of her, they tore her down for her bragging instead of either a) supporting and uplifting her, or b) showing concern for unhealthy mindsets, and they never even tried to approach her or communicate with her about the things she was doing that actually were insensitive.

Hopefully that wasn't too much of a tangent lol, but that's the type of thing I mean by "being demonized for their traits". Hate when all a character is doing is bragging and feeling good about themself and the narrative frames them in an extremely negative light for it :(

Okay I will wrap up the post here as it's already pretty long, but hopefully this helped a bit!! Thank you for the question, and good luck with your writing! ^^

#actuallynpd #writing #npd representation

[pikahlua]

I'm not sure I'm entirely convinced but smashing theory as usual pika 🫡✨️ Is it okay if I ramble about a few misgivings I have? It's a long one, sorry! but there are multiple points I want to mention as assisting ideas

First, I still think that a 1v1 setting battle seems likelier than a 2v2 (bkdk duo vs shigAFO) - since we already had a bkdk duo in the movie ending, and Hori *did* say after that he had a different thing in mind for the actual ending (which I'm not sure should be a classic shounen "Battle of The End" actually, but wth we have been in this war fo so long now? More than a year! it may as well "end" in its conclusion ig). In which case I think we'd agree that 1-to-1 pvps would very likely feature Izuku & Shigaraki and Katsuki & AFO. Speaking of which: I also still think kacchan parallels and juxtaposes moreso with AFO than Shigaraki, so it might make more sense for him to "inherit" AM's struggle in this way, as a battle with the "Big Bad" AFO - not to mention it'd be another extremely cool twist to have the boy who ended AM save him by winning the fight, imo. I'm not sure how much of that metaphorical oomph would transfer to him fighting with "Stray Lamb" Shigaraki/Tenko...

In any case lots of people seem to support the 2v2 option. I understand that the most popular cases are: Katsuki "saving" Tenko by "winning" the fight. Izuku "winning" the battle with AFO to "save" the world. But then, I think the story'd be disregarding Izuku's wish to save Tenko, first spoken of in the vestige realm, which I don't believe is quite likely. We had so many breadcrumbs leading up to Izuku asking "Is Tenko still there?", so I still think a 1v1 and Izuku vs Tenko would make more sense.

I suppose people still want to see Katsuki's "save to win" in this final battle? He has always been a character that has struggled and fought internally with himself foremost - contrasting the mostly external opposition and fights that matured or broke other character's beliefs/ideals. Katsuki is destined to "Win Over His Self", yes? I'd argue he already has done that, (nailed it actually, right in the kokoro) 🎯 😅 which is why I don't really think he has to show it again, that he has learned to "win by saving/save to win". Which is another readon why I think a showdown with Tenko is kinda unnecessary

Meanwhile, I'd argue we haven't seen Izuku's "save by winning/win to save" quite yet, not with Katsuki's grandeur, in any case. I'd argue he finally has the opportunity to do this with Tenko's fight. And I'd think that since OFA is now a "power to save" rather than a power "to defeat AFO", (after class A's intervention and welcome intrusion into that), and since I think Izuku might be the one doing the "saving" for Tenko, it'd make sense for all of OFA's vestiges to bear witness to that "saving", to their "new purpose", if you will, and I think AM's vestige should be included in that if he's truly a part of OFA.

.... If, by chance he's a different component to OFA, like maybe something that serves only as a power maximizing "coefficient" rather than a full blown "variable" in OFA's power "equation"? Then yeah, him leaving OFA might make Izuku slightly less powerful but would make more sense in terms of Katsuki's arc so far. After this battle I doubt Izuku is gonna need that power excess anyway. It'd also make sure he can't become the Symbol of Peace powerhouse on his own and let him play on a more equal field with his peers, which is best fir his sacrificing mentality. And I do think that Katsuki could do with at least the "gaze" and "support" of the mentor Izuku has had 95% of to himself so far...

Welp, that's that! Sorry I even went into a math analogy there 😳 If you've read so far thanks for bearing with me!!!

((This complete thing is utter shit if AM actually won against AFO btw))

I like you. I like your thought process. I like your courtesy in explaining yourself even when we disagree. I want to emphasize all of that because I think your essay here is WORTHY of being challenged. Or rather perhaps it's that I want you to challenge my thoughts, which I hope are also worthy.

(And please bear with me here, my brain fog is rearing its ugly head today.)

1. The problem with 1v1s:

Let me step away from the predictions for a moment with this point. Will Horikoshi ultimately go with a 1v1? He could. I actually have no way of knowing. But I would like to explain why I think it would be a mistake for him to do so. This has nothing to do with Heroes Rising and everything to do with the MHA manga canon.

MHA the story has spent so. much. time. emphasizing how necessary teamwork is, how going alone is not feasible, how everyone has limits. It's not just a platitude it throws around occasionally because it has to. Entire arcs are structured around this idea. Hell, trimesters and curricula in-universe are built upon this lesson. And the story is called "My Hero Academia." How is this a story about Izuku's hero academia if the primary lesson his hero academia taught him gets eschewed at the end? What was ultimately learned if not this?

For Horikoshi to turn his back on this moral, for Horikoshi to go with the standard shounen formula ending when he has famously twisted such tropes in the past, would be to betray his entire story. This story about how society has perverted the ideas of heroes and villains to avoid personal responsibility and stifle social progress ONLY to see the light and view heroes and villains as humans DEPENDS on exalting the virtues of cooperation, of empathizing with one's fellow humans, of desiring everyone to come together, and of contributing to that goal as a piece of the whole. No one is alone. There is always hope. And people are given that hope by having it ignited in their hearts by others (by the symbol of All Might, in many cases).

Remember, "this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes."

And I do believe Horikoshi wants to maintain this moral as best he can. This final arc has showcased that. Even in the battles we've seen concluded now, while the primary focus may have been on one person's conviction (Shouji's, Mina's, Shouto's, Ochako's), that conviction was backed up and magnified by another person (Kouda, Kirishima, Iida, Tsuyu). And you'll note that some "fought" and some did not. Some played supporting roles or contributed with non-combat assistance (speed or negotiation, perhaps). So at the very, very least, if we end on a 1v1 fight between Izuku and Tomura, Katsuki must support Izuku's conviction to save Tenko in some vital way that tips the scales in Izuku's favor.

The question is, has this already happened?

One might argue it has, that Katsuki's death and the efforts by others to save him have had a clear effect on Tomura. Katsuki's death was the catalyst that allowed Tenko to swallow AFO's ego and regain control of himself.

But we could also argue that, while this potentially contributes to Tenko's salvation, it is NOT an example of Katsuki sharing in Izuku's conviction (that of saving villains). And I argue that this much is a REQUIREMENT.

That said, there MAY be another example that could be construed as Katsuki sharing in Izuku's conviction.

We REALLY don't talk about chapter 358 enough. It may turn out to be a crucial hint about how future events play out.

That said, it's debatable on whether this is truly the same conviction Izuku professes or if it's just the lesson Katsuki has learned, in which case...

Would that not beg for a moment where Izuku backs Katsuki's conviction up, too?

So, sure, you may get your 1v1, but I'm willing to bet there will be enough of Katsuki present in it to construe the "1v1" as otherwise :P

2. The idea that Katsuki parallels AFO more than he does Shigaraki:

At the risk of sounding pedantic, I want to earnestly, powerfully emphasize the idea that this is not a competition: everyone parallels everyone. I have showcased many times how many ways in which Izuku and AFO parallel each other, it's not just Katsuki and Tomura.

But note how this is really possible with ANY TWO CHARACTERS in the whole series. They all parallel each other. It's because everyone's learning the same lessons.

And parallels don't necessarily make for a good 1v1. I don't really think about the parallels that much in terms of setting up FIGHTS. Most "fights" in MHA are barely fights at all. They're conversations, arguments, debates, just sometimes with some action in the middle.

What I really expect from these parallels is a resolution. Some sort of reckoning. Anything at all really. Someone challenging someone, someone talking to someone, someone reaching out for someone. It doesn't matter who does what in most cases, because I expect all four to interact.

3. "I understand that the most popular cases are: Katsuki "saving" Tenko by "winning" the fight. Izuku "winning" the battle with AFO to "save" the world."

Yikes, are these really the most popular options? I hate them. I hate them so much. Can I offer some better ones?

What if Izuku fights Tomura long enough to subdue him and reaches Tenko's heart but can't physically reach out to save him, so Katsuki has to act as Izuku's extension to take Tomura's hand and save him?

What if Izuku fights to his last strength and saves Tomura (and maybe Baby AFO, who knows where that's going) but can't get all of them out of physical danger, so Katsuki is the one who gets them out?

Or maybe Izuku just can't save HIMSELF and Katsuki rescues him?

What if Katsuki reaches Tenko's heart through speech, through relating to him, and it disarms Tenko enough for Izuku to save him?

What if AFO and Izuku have a tug-o'-war over Tenko and Katsuki tips the scales? Or Katsuki AND All Might tip the scales?

What if Izuku fights Baby AFO (or it's something like another Dabi explosion situation) and Katsuki relates to AFO himself as a child and that disarms AFO enough for Izuku to save the day?

What if ANY of the above but add more Class 1-A and other villains to it? What if everyone holds hands to make a human chain to pull Tenko out of some AFO ego void and show him the world cares?

I can go on for days.

4. "We had so many breadcrumbs leading up to Izuku asking "Is Tenko still there?", so I still think a 1v1 and Izuku vs Tenko would make more sense."

But that's just it! Katsuki has breadcrumbs too!

It has been highlighted over and over and over again ad nauseam that Katsuki is a character who must become a hero who can see things from the villains' perspective and REACH OUT TO THEIR HEARTS. Katsuki even names Tomura as the person he intends to face down in the end!

(Of course, AFO fits the bill in many ways too. But like I said, I don't think it's gonna be clean-cut 1v1s, so there's opportunity for both Izuku and Katsuki to show what they're made of in this regard with BOTH villains.)

5. "Katsuki is destined to "Win Over His Self", yes? I'd argue he already has done that, (nailed it actually, right in the kokoro) 🎯 😅 which is why I don't really think he has to show it again, that he has learned to "win by saving/save to win"."

BUT HE DOES NEED TO SHOWCASE IT. OTHERWISE THIS IS JUST LIP SERVICE, BECAUSE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED SINCE HE SAID IT.

While you and I may believe he's already made it, Katsuki himself DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YET. He does not see himself as having surpassed All Might yet, and he believes that in order to do so he needs the help of others.

I mean, does it get louder than "Because saving people is how we win"????? He's set the terms for what his "win to save/save to win" looks like in the end!

6. "Meanwhile, I'd argue we haven't seen Izuku's "save by winning/win to save" quite yet, not with Katsuki's grandeur, in any case."

I mean this super genuinely because I think you need to consider it: How was Izuku's victory over Overhaul NOT this in your eyes?

I think you need to be able to answer that question if you want to make such a claim. I think you CAN make the claim, mind you, but anyone you talk to about this will point to this moment in canon as their first question for you to address.

Until you can answer it, I have to argue that both Izuku and Katsuki have displayed some version of their "win to save/save to win" pieces before, but they have to now apply those pieces to this war where the stakes are astronomically higher.

7. "…. If, by chance he's a different component to OFA, like maybe something that serves only as a power maximizing "coefficient" rather than a full blown "variable" in OFA's power "equation"?"

Kudos to you for the "if"! Yes, in my recent posts, I've been writing under the assumption that All Might's vestige is a piece of OFA. But I'm actually not fully convinced this is the case yet. Everything surrounding All Might's vestige is still very loosely defined and doesn't seem very final. I think it's totally possible there's a twist waiting for us in there.

And anon, I did receive your other messages.

8. "Speaking of which, if AM's vestige is in fact a power "coefficient" then its checks out that Kacchan would rise powered-up!! WTF It makes sense ?! 🥴"

Can I offer you an apotheosis in this trying time?

#anon ask #ask pika #my hero academia manga spoilers #final showdown spoilers #meta #katsuki bakugou #izuku midoriya #tomura shigaraki #all for one #all might

[augmented3rd]

we don't want radical change because we're comfortable

We don’t want radical change

Throughout history, the beginnings of a revolution typically means the destruction of the current system. This destruction however is entirely deceptive. And sometimes destruction might not even be the most appropriate word. Transformation. That’s a better word. 

I hesitate to call it a destruction because it simply isn’t ‘destruction of the current system’. It’s hard to call it destruction when features of that ‘current system’ are used to set up the replacement system. Therefore, transformation.

Whether it’s moving from communism to democracy, there are overlapping features. Nothing is ever truly destroyed. Unfortunately the pseudo-left uses this ‘inability of destruction’ to be complicit in the realities of capitalist realism.

Our belief that ‘there is no alternative’ is what makes us complicit. I see this increasingly among the North-American pseudo-left.

The pseudo-left cares more about their image than inciting a revolution. They are more concerned about denouncing the bad but reiterating the fact that things can’t change. 

It’s the ‘Do you condemn Hamas?’ questions while men,women and children are being indiscriminately murdered in Palestine.

The concern on corporate profits ‘helping the economy’ while people in the Congo work harrowing conditions so we can all have iPhones.

The neo-imperialist organisations that claim to be beacons of supplying foreign aid and support yet making developing countries reliant on them rather than self-sufficient.

I could easily go on and on.

Because we’re comfortable

Going back to capitalist realism, a phenomenon that Fisher explores in his book is the apathy that capitalism creates in the consumers consciousness.

He describes this apathy as a ‘mental paralysis’ created by the fear and cynicism of late capitalism.

Now our apathy spawned by capitalism might not look like the ‘drug induced haze’ like in the novels of Philip K. Dick, but it feels that way.

That phantasmagoric haze is not only paralytic but oh so seductive. 

The seduction that breeds our apathy is an underlying feature of late capitalism. Late capitalism gives us entrepreneurial dreams about a life that we could have.

It worked for Musk, Gates, all those others. It might just work for me too. Cue all the youtuber merch and influencer Instagram shops.

We fall into the quicksand of capitalism, being workers for a corporation but our own bosses in our ‘side hustles’.

We end up at a crossroads where the continuous class struggle is not only external but internal.

We fight for better conditions of the working class, but secretly hope for upward mobility. It’s what neoliberal capitalism was designed for.

After all, it’s easier to have a more docile working class when you ensure that the system works sometimes and infrequently. We fail to realise the nature of our subjugation. 

Therein lies the cognitive dissonance. We know we are being gaslit. But the comfort and familiarity of the current system makes us resistant to change. 

Our unwillingness to disrupt the status quo ends up affirming that there is indeed no alternative.

That neoliberalism is a powerful and dangerous thing.

The average North American is a hyper-individualised fool who sees everyone as competition for their own upward mobility.

We are exhausted, depressed, and lonely and those qualities do not make a good revolutionary mass.

So how do we move forward?

I do not know. I do have my ideas. We must embrace a radicalism beyond the pseudo-left's rhetoric. What form this radicalism takes remains uncertain.

Of course that’s not saying much. Acknowledging this imperative is a mere beginning.

And I’ll admit, this is still a learning curve for me. I will think more, research and communicate with others who are more seasoned on this topic than I. 

I hope to make an update on this in the future.

#leftist #socialism #marxist #communism #books and reading #reading #literature #politics #politique #politik #markfisher #mark fisher #capitalist realism

[providencehq]

With the reveal of the Black Pawns actually being robots, what did you think that said of BK's leadership style vs WK's leadership style? Also, do you think she incorporated some aspects of herself into them? Like, fighting styles and personality traits; watching "Assault on Abysus" had me hyperfixated on that one Black Pawn with a speaking role. That one, at least, made me think of a younger BK, more easily frustrated and with the need to succeed without additional help.

Man, your brain. Thinking things I would have never esp in regards to Black Knight. You seemed to have nailed on the head of my personal headcanon when it comes to her: her leadership style is vastly different from White Knight but it seems more so from an internal force rather than external and it radically shapes their ideals and how it plays out into their leadership styles and let me explain. (Edit as I finish writing this, very rambly, I think I repeat points many times)

Black Knight is seen constantly as a need to control, something, anything whether it is as openly as Providence or as lowkey (more so indirectly but still having her hand in the pie as the saying goes) in regards to the initial Nanite research group. This need to have control and in essence power can stem from who knows where. We as viewers never get that chance to actually dwell into her past like we were able to in a degree with White Knight. I personally make the assumption due to what we do see of her of being a fairly rash, quick tempered, and take/make an opening to get the smallest step ahead as a result not having power in her life to some degree when she was younger. Black Knight has to make opportunities to get power rather than what seems to be willingly handed with White Knight in comparison. (I can and would talk about my headcanons about young BK here but that is long and lengthy and I feel like little evidence to support from the show but know my ideas about her and her relationship with whatever happened to young her is basically rivalry based and feeling lesser.) She kills a member of the Consortium who more or less challenged her and made it seemed like she was a means to an end (for the Consortium) because she wasn't viewed as an equal. Questioning of her role, her power, her knowledge is a threat to her and the ability to control herself.

But here's the thing! She's a really, really shit leader for Providence. We know she's rash, manipulative (yay! go gaslight, gatekeep girlbosscore for her). She can't lead like White Knight does. Here's the thing, White Knight, questionable at times with his leadership skills but he's commanding a massive, multibase operation over many years and he makes tough calls. He commands forces, he gets information, he's actively working on trying to better the world whether the cure is feasible or not. He was forced into a position of power by happenstance but he takes in stride and understands that his leadership hinges on the survival of humanity, cure or not. WK has a tough job he has good reigns on the whole of Providence.

What does Black Knight do? Clearly struggle through keeping Providence under any semblance of control in comparison. She has lost it's more or less elite force when Rex went a little MIA there for a few months and clearly she can't keep things in Providence under control unless every aspect it seemingly controlled by her. The Black Rooks, her elite guards (I don't think all of them are androids just... most. I like to think she managed to have a few actual human elite running around) ARE FUCKING ANDROIDS! SHE CONTROLS THEM FULLY! Programmed to obey (and clearly be more prone to violence and generally extreme tactics which uh, wonder who programmed them to be like that!?) But to get onto that point of her ask, I see it's a very reasonable jump to make that she included aspects in herself in the androids. She needs something that she can rely on, that she can understand what move they'll make next, that understand the objective. Time after time we see she can't rely on anyone but herself to get after her true goal of just control (over Providence, Rex, EVOs, nanites, Consortium, the human body, life and death itself) why would she program her elite to not have a similar mindset to herself? Basically disposable extensions of herself. But I like the idea of her incorporating her fighting style with them, I will be crafting ideas in my head for that for a bit. Gonna let that idea simmer in the brain pot of headcanons.

Also back onto the whole internal verses external forces causes her leadership to be super wonky and insightful in comparison to White Knight. White Knight is more or less driven, yes to an extent the Consortium, but mostly by to be in power. A goal that all of humanity can overcome or bare with the nanites. Dude is pessimistic, makes choices that could easily in the blink of an eye end millions of lives (like bleaching a city), and manipulates/misleads people to get closer to a cure. But it's all for that chance for a cure, for Providence to come out on top, for humanity to survive fully! He has the support of Providence, large portions of the population, Rex and Six and Holiday, to make the hard decisions for humanity. To make decisions with that kind of gravity can't be done lightly and there's trust in his leadership and decisions even if they suck from Providence on multiple levels.

Black Knight doesn't have this trust. We as the audience are missing a lot of information from those six months Rex was gone but Black Knight is in charge now and things are weird and bad. The lack of trust with Black Knight being in charge can come from so many angles: new leadership, discontent from the public and Providence workers as a whole, the loss of many of their assets without an effective replacement. But I lean towards she won't trust down the ranks in Providence. She sees herself as higher than everyone else in Providence and won't let anyone be an equal. Research? She knows best. EVO containment and control? She knows best. The direction of Providence? Don't worry, she knows what to do. Her need of control is her downfall for leadership, her suspected inability to have Providence soldiers/rooks be completely under her thumb with her decisions led her to make her androids that would follow her orders instead. (Which brings into question, what was something she asked them to do that they wouldn't cross the line of? WK was going to bleach a city, costing countless lives, what could be worse than that? Providence before WK was pretty casual about child vivisection so who knows! Maybe refusal to accept a new leader simply, esp head of Providence.) Black Knight's leadership is stemming from her need to control, a pressing internal force is seemingly every choice she makes. She's selfish and it shows how she heads towards goals with Providence as the vessel and man! is it shit! It's just a massive shitshow barely holding together!!!

Black Knight is ahhhhh! She's so focus driven on herself and her goal of control in whatever means and it's so clear she's basically a kid who wants power but doesn't actually know how to handle it. She's nothing like White Knight no matter how she tries to emulate him when she's running Providence. She wants power but she doesn't know how to handle it. She fumbles through the steps of being a leader and yes, members of Providence question her, but she's still there, leading it! It isn't until placing her directly up and against White Knight do you really see it! Their fight is such a great analogy for how they run Providence. White Knight prepares, plants ahead, has backup plans, and knows what he's up against verses Black Knight who lashes out, has to pull a plan out her ass, and thinks she knows what she's up against by personal history but not through technical knowledge and it fucks her in the end.

Ahhhhh! the parallels! THE PARALLELS!!!!!!!!!!

#this is uh.... wildly rambley i am so sorry #generator rex #white knight #black knight #bk: sorry used providence as a means to my end goal for power and being cool and becoming a god at a cost of providence and humanity #wk: you fucked up a perfectly good organization! look! you gave it corruption! #bk is a frustrated child who probably got the short end of the stick and was always second best and in adulthood tried to prove she wasn't #second best only to be proven time and time again she was so she forced her way into being the best no matter what

[self-growth-for-the-soul]

The Enemy Within Who are you fighting?

Winston Churchill once said, "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." When one begins to live a life that is no longer dependent on our past, life as you know it can take on a whole new outlook. For too long, many have lived carrying around their past mistakes, opinions of others, and trauma affecting their ability to be present, which is all we have in the end. 

The heaviness of resentment has held many back from experiencing life free of a cloud of gloom because of what others might have said or done to them years ago. The tragedy with such weather is that, in most cases, the enemies outside are no longer aware of such bitterness, yet one is still walking under this cloud with no intent to leave it behind. 

Unfortunately, the past can significantly hold one back for numerous years if a conscious act to let go doesn't occur. Most troublesome with not letting go is that one develops a victimization mindset that makes it hard to move towards healing. Our past can powerfully affect us if we don't make peace with it sooner than later. In defeating the foe, one must take the courage to conquer what the enemy has created within. 

In a perfect world, it would be great if everyone had the perfect parents, childhood, and upbringing. Unfortunately, life doesn't work this way. We all struggle with unseen powers of our past upbringings and trauma that have held many from experiencing life as it should be and becoming our authentic selves. You can call these powers resentment, trauma, darkness, regret, and so on, but they remain alive within us if not defeated. 

We've all struggled against such powers, yet the key to becoming free from the unseen enemies is to admit that we have held on to them way too long. Arriving at an awareness of this truth is where one can begin to be empowered. By accepting this step, the challenge no longer becomes the external enemy but your internal enemies, including fear, doubt, insecurity, and resentment that our past has created.

The fight for freedom is not outside us but rather within what we allow to hold in. To live the life of peace, purpose, and freedom we all desire, the cancers of the past that have kept us hostage must be defeated. Learning to let go and heal from these cancers will take time and patience. Once your energies are spent doing the inner work and no longer focusing on the external to make excuses for your internal, you will take control of the battle.

Motivation is an excellent starting point to move towards healing in these areas, but understanding that the internal enemy doesn't rest is vital. 

For that reason, you will require more than temporary motivation. However, once we have developed an algorithm for our healing and have consistently committed ourselves to the development and strengthening, we will be capable of weathering all storms ahead. 

Remember that the first step is admitting that the true enemy is within. Our perspectives, reactions, outlooks, focus, and ultimately our choices will make the difference in the battle. And depending on these standpoints, we start to take charge. Work on yourself, empower yourself, love yourself, and life will work for you rather than against you.

#self help #self development #self growth #growth #change #my writing #empowerment #self improvement

[makingspiritualityreal]

Numerology Life Path 22 - Your Birth Card and its Ruling Planet

Numerology Life Path Numbers and their assigned Tarot Card Meaning Series - Master Number Edition

This is a post in my new astrology/numerology/tarot series, that only concerns you, if you are a Life Path 22. Originally, I wanted to do them all in one post, but my writing turned out to be so long, I decided to split the post and seperate the Life Path Numbers. The introduction part of the post will be the same for all Life Path Numbers, in case you only read a post about your own Life Path Number, and nothing else.

Introduction

The concept of a Birth Card links Tarot and Numerology together, in order to deepen our understanding of a vibration of a Life Path Number we are born with. The Birth Card, or rather Birth Cards, are Major Arcana Tarot Cards with assigned numbers, which correlate with Life Path Numbers. Understanding the meaning of tarot cards, mixed with the knowledge of Numerology Vibrations, helps create a more unique vision of your life experience. A person with any given Life Path Number, having several Major Arcana energies present in their lives, usually struggles with one of the energies more than the other. As a result, life will probably force them to focus on mastering one of these energies. In general, however, any Life Path describes both your biggest downfall and ultimate triumph - just like with an Astrology Chart, the highlighted numbers/astrology houses point to your biggest strengths and weaknesses. For a better understanding of this concept, visit my article “Natal Chart - A map of your issues?” Remember, that everyone, besides their Life Path Number and Birth Card also has a unique astrology chart. Thus, for some people embracing the higher expression of their energy is easier, for others it’s harder and it takes more time to master, and some energies become easier to deal with than others. Most human beings are somewhere in between, working on their path and having some achievements while struggling with difficulties at the same time. In the spiritual community, there are differences in opinion on linking Astrological Planets and positions to specific numerology numbers energies. My take is a result of my own personal experience, conversations with other people in my field and research, in order to give you the widest possible spectrum of ideas and increase the understanding of every Life Path Number. Even If you have only a basic understanding of Astrology, Tarot or Numerology, this post will still be helpful to you, because it describes the unique vibrational mix that comes from the expression of both these spiritual sciences mixed together. To calculate which Tarot Cards and what Life Path correspond to your birthday, click here.

Life Path 22 - The Caring Master Builder

The vibration of a Life Path 22 blends within the energies of the 2 and the 4. This makes it a very sensitive, yet energetically heavy combination due to the mixed influence of the Moon, Saturn and Rahu. Early on in life, this Life Path exists in a state of constant struggle between the mind and the heart, fighting between their compulsive urge for practicality and extreme sensitivity. They can be emotionally unstable or drained, depressed, frustrated and compulsively attending to the same, mundane tasks to regain the feeling of control. That dynamic takes time to get a hold of due to the extremely contradictory planetary energies. The energy of the Moon is sensitive and caring, the energy of Saturn is strict, practical and grounded. It is a difficult task to provide for oneself both the internal high standard, that exists with Saturn, and the gentle touch that the Moon needs to function. The additional energies of Rahu can give this Life Path a very compulsive mind, as Rahu continuously desires to move forward with new details, which throws an extra spark of anxiety on the already fragile mind of a 22 vibration, if that progress can't be provided.

Life Path 11 and Life Path 22 share the intensity of the 2 vibration, however the 2 is more pronounced in the 22 Path, being doubled.

That makes a Life Path 22 struggle on a higher level with independence and extreme emotional volatility. While an 11 in crisis tends to shut down internally and downplay their uniqueness in order to be accepted externally, they don't really let anyone in as they are in self-protection mode, as they are fundamentally self-directed. A 22 however, lacks that self-direction, because they have a different mission in this incarnation. As a result, when distressed a 22 latches on to the nearest energetic source for survival, entangling it and integrating itself into their being. The result of this tendency depends entirely on the environment, that a Life Path 22 finds themselves in.

That is why working for a community is a must for a Life Path 22. The intense, Moon ruled energies of a double 2 need a big, energetic outlet that a group provides, and in the framework of a group they can practice, master, share and unleash their 4 vibration, becoming an invaluable asset to any community they are a part of. A group also fulfils their need for emotional belonging. If too isolated, 22s tend to fall into abusive relationships, due to their deep need to be surrounded by and connected to external energy. Out of desperation to have their energetic needs fulfilled, they can become very toxic and clingy, because unlike the 11, the 22 doesn't have the 1 vibration that forces them to work on their individual self expression. The double 2 creates an extreme danger of putting themselves in the victim position, yet at the same time tying themselves to another willingly out of a sense of survival. A 22 vibration has a very deep need for a solid emotional structure, and the threat of having this structure removed threatens their need for stability, which can make them hold on even tighter even to the most toxic partnership. That type of partnership sucking the energy out of them prevents them from developing the positive 4 qualities, which is innovative, practical achievements. Living in a larger community prevents a Life Path 22 from entering this dynamic. Due to connections formed with many people, the setting disperses the overly intense 2 energy among the crowd and gives this Life Path a sense of safety that they so desire, which creates a good environment for their work.

It is equally important for a Life Path 22 to avoid toxic situations as it is not to demonise their needs and emotions. While it may be difficult to handle a Master Number energy in human society for all Master Vibrations, the needs of this Life Path exist to be fulfilled, just like with everybody else. This Master Number is at most risk to try to deny their sensitivity and emotional needs due to being influenced by the 4 vibration. While an 11 is the most likely to hide with their self expression externally, they understand their needs on a deeper level internally and guard them, and the risk of shutdown doesn't eliminate their acute subconscious self-awareness. A 22 however, can completely push out their needs and desires due to their conflicting desire for practicality, progress and material results. That puts them into a negative expression of the 4 vibration, which is a cliché of a dry, uninspired workaholic who feels empty on the inside and compensates it with practical perfectionism. However, since emotional nurturing is what actually drives this Life Path in life, they can't hold on to this perfectionism for too long, and this dynamic eventually leads them to a burnout, when in the tired state they shut down even from their 4 vibration and they are not capable of producing practical results.

To find out about the birth cards associated with a Life Path 22 Vibration, read my writing on Life Path 2 and Life Path 4, as all those tarot cards will be applicable.

The key word for a Life Path 22 is Balanced. This vibration out of all numbers possesses the most potential to create and nurture an extremely abundant, tangible energy, both from a material and emotional standpoint, however this cannot be accessed without internal balancing of an unstable psychological makeup. This combination can produce an expert, who possesses deep knowledge with a high attention to detail, yet is still sovereign and connected to their heart space. This is a vibration of a scientist, that hasn't lost his compassion and can connect both to their mind and their heart. A mature Life Path 22 uses their skills for physical survival, without closing off their heart, or falling into the other extreme of being emotionally overwhelmed and uninspired. No other Life Path has such a unique skill for community building and providing. This is the additional energy that is produced in this Master Number, that differs from a singular 2 or 4 vibration. A mature Life Path 22 is a rock for the network of connections that they have build, which in turn allows them to thrive within this network and continue developing and sharing their skills.

#numerology #master numbers #life path 22 #master number #numerology master numbers #numerology master number #numerologist #numerology reading for you #life path number #numerology reading #numerological #tarot #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarotblr

[paramsiddharth]

#15: The Independence Day

However tempting the title may be at suggesting my life is at peace now, it painfully isn't. I don't want this to prevent me from glorifying the decades of freedom from colonization we have enjoyed, how much we have recovered from post-colonization trauma, and how we are more responsibly planning to evolve in future. Lots of love to my country. I love my dear Bihar, I love India. I am grateful to my parentland for everything it gave me, such as the beautiful cultural heritage and the opportunity to identify myself as a proud Indian. 🇮🇳 I give my heartfelt pranaam to my nation.

Why is it always such that I make a post, disappear for months (or years), and then make a sudden reappearance? I love writing. Why this discontinuity? I asked myself this question.

I realized it is because I am always too overwhelmed by my past and future to express my present without hurting myself. And don't expect me to mourn that; It is part of my situational awareness, learning from my experience, and practical preparedness and I'm not ashamed.

I'm not proud either, but there's little I can do to change the circumstances I'm put in. The very reason behind my continuous complaining and being a crybaby is because that's what has happened to me throughout my life, and continues to. There are plenty of people to blame, but definitely not me.

I will start talking about the time after the day I posted that Kharagpur blog, but I will move in a logarithmic fashion i. e. Increasing the amount of focus on the part closer to the plateau (present) rather than the cliff (past).

Do you use olive oil at home? Is it a common ingredient in most of the food that you have at home? I recently learnt an interesting truth about food oils. Mustard oil, olive oil, and refined oil are the 3 major oils used to cook. In my family everything is cooked in mustard oil. I used to watch recipe videos and wonder why the colour of the oil looked so different. Turns out they generally use olive oil.

Based on what mom told, mustard oil is much more fatty and considered not good for health, at least in comparison to olive oil. That being said, mustard oil comes for a lot cheaper than olive oil. So do we use less healthy oil to cook food for saving money? Yes. Are we the only ones? I really don't know.

As much as I don't want to, I pity myself. It's pathetic, but every time I pity myself, I assume it can't get worse. But it does. It very much does.

5-6 days ago, my parents had a very violent fight. I was there to get them to settle, and since my classes were not going on, I could give more time to home. Despite my struggle to get both my parents to be peaceful, they kept saying things to each-other for half the night, and kept hurting themselves, mentally and physically. I was there to help them, but they weren't welcoming to any support. And I understand why. They must feel like they are put into a position where they can't express themselves to anyone, and that nobody can feel what they are going through.

Folks and friends tell me not to get in between when they fight. I wouldn't… If only it remained verbal. But it gets worse. It gets physical, in a manner that they end up hurting their internal and external biologies causing more than just short-term damage. I barely manage to save the day everytime… Because I love them. I don't want to listen to my friends. My parents are my everything. Losing one of them means losing half of my life's purpose. I'm nothing without them, no matter how they are.

And I managed to calm them down. 3 days ago, we woke up to a news that wasn't initially so devastating: The water motor wasn't working. It had been a common problem, I easily assumed it will be fixed soon. We got it checked, had some analysis done, some parts bought. By evening, it was still being worked on, and that made the situation tense. The day ended with the news that the plumbers will come the next day and attempt a better fix, something they referred to as "slizing" (I think it supposed to be slicing). I didn't eat much that day, for reasons. Others ate less too.

So we got the "slizer" expert the next day. The whole day was going to be a wasted struggle again, and what happened at home made it far worse. The lack of food, hydration, and sanitation made our patience and moods worse. My parents had an argument, and once the light was sparked, it ended up being probably the worst fight they have ever had in the whole lifetime. One where they almost hit each-other. I came in between as a shield and got beaten up instead, gladly so. But will I always be able to get in between?

The situational dilemma hit me harder than the physical strokes. I was pulled down deep into the realization of how traumatizing the past 5 years have been for my parents. From being loving, caring, and supportive, they've become beasts. They have turned into people with no emotional control, and mood-swing patterns that encourages self-harm exclusive to interpersonal fights between those two.

As much as they fight, scream, misbehave, and misunderstand each-other while arguing, they are the only 2 adults I could ever rely on. The rest of my ostensible family has been far more hostile to us, in a much more heart-penetrating way than physically. Who else can I look up to? And even if I had anybody else to look up to, my parents are the 2 people I will never let go of. It is my life's purpose to see them happy, and I won't let anything go wrong before that happens.

Their hatred for each-other while fighting is no longer silenced by their want to live, and their heart no longer melts by the thought of their kids' happiness. They aren't able to think straight during a fight. What would a person in this condition be advised to do? Take therapy, I suppose. We can't afford that. Will the one who advises us pay for our therapy? I'm sure not.

Money is the one big thing in our life that's our biggest joy and harshest pain at the same time. If we had more money, none of our current problems in life would remain relevant. We will be able to cure everything, including our financial instability and mental illnesses. We will be off to a happy life, constantly evolving. If only we had more money. If only…

Let me slap myself out of this dream. It isn't here yet. A minimum of 2 years before I even get on my feet are to be borne with patience and… Struggle. No, my parents have to remain together, no matter what. The hardwork they did for their whole life, won't lose meaning so easily. We're close, and we will make it. I will get a good job and change everything. I will be able to fix us. I will do it… Won't I?

I wasn't able to cry, because I hadn't had water for 50+ hours. My parents eventually lost energy and got diverted by updates from the plumbers and the expert. It failed. They didn't even attempt the "slizing" part. Maybe next day.

Day 3. No eating, drinking, peeing, or excreting. We felt like lifeless blobs, and it was harder for us to make it through, considering my mom has an OCD. Although we were convinced that the service folks were fixing the water issue, we also knew the kind of people we have in Muzaffarpur. They were using our helplessness as a measure to maximize visible worktime and increase the payment. The only thing they were aiming for is profit. No sense of wanting to provide quality service, no concern for our degrading health, nothing. They were just extending and pulling out days from our lifeless schedule.

On day 3, we slightly hinted that this would be the last day we let them work. We ensured them that if they don't fix it by the end of the day, instead of wasting more money into something that isn't even working, we will urgently invest into getting a submersible pump installed, the ultimate answer to all water problems in the poverty-stricken lands of India.

God knows how, by the end of the day, water started coming. We were not relieved, especially I. Not instantly. I waited for the next morning, and then, was a little calmed. After having the payment report (just because I make it sound professional doesn't mean it was, it was an informal description of how much we have to pay and a disambiguation telling why), we realized the fixing cost us over ₹22,000. That's a lot of money for a sudden life problem. And then the motor stopped working again in the evening, whereafter we asked them to have a look again. A quickfix and it started working after adding some water in the pipe.

We are firm that the next step is to get a submersible pump, but even if we put aside the financial challenge for a moment, this season isn't the best one to get it installed. In fact, that should be our last resort, if all options are exhausted, like it would have been if day 3 ended in a disappointment too. But now we have some time to think, plan, and gather money. ₹80,000 isn't a small amount (that's to start, you know it's always more than it seems).

It was the independence day. Wow, what a beautiful day. An independent country, where there are lakhs of smiles of people happy and proud of their country. And lakhs of neutrally frowned faces who don't even know what a country is. All they know is food, water, shelter, and survival. I felt them, I can tell. It must be worse. I wish we had a little more independence too. A stable financial life, my mom's OCD cured, feels like a lovely eye-tearing dream.

Hahaha… I don't know why I'm crying. Is it because of the trauma of 3 painful days? Is it the fear of my parents getting into a fight again? Is it the painful possibility that I might not get a good job because of my not-so good college or my own ineligibility? Or is it just me, a 19 year-old who doesn't even know what to do with his life and is struggling to survive mentally, physically, biologically, academically, and socially?

For those 3 days, I was in a state of suffering. Since I didn't eat much, I didn't need to use the bathroom, but I would have loved to. I would have loved to satisfy my dry throat with some water. Having not drunk or eaten in days had fatigued me. If you want a feel of how long it had been, here's a day 3 picture of an initially dark yellow arhar dal cooked on day 1:

Still, I was receiving phone calls.

Them: Hey Param! What's up? Can you help me with this thing?

Me: Hi, I'm sorry, I can't… I'm kind of in a problem… ...(trying to explain my situation).

Them: That stinks! Sorry about that, dude. Take care. Oh, by the way, can you help me out with this quickly? I really need to do this.

This makes me realize how awfully tooled I have always let myself be. If it was a regular day, I would have probably let go of my busy time and helped them out, but I was in pain. I was enraged. Very angered by their stubbornness and lack of concern for my happiness, when I have always been the one who was there for them. I hung up and left my phone. I didn't feel like touching it anymore. Life felt obsolete.

Evening, day 4, we were preparing for dad's birthday next day. Planning a surprise, we ordered a cake for him by collecting some money. We were very excited. Little did we know our happiness was about to be shattered… That's when the water had stopped working again. We know it got fixed later, but the intensity of the trauma in the moment embedded itself deeply into our hearts, and despite the want to be excited, we weren't very relieved after the news that it was working again. We were constantly afraid it will stop working again.

We desperately tried to stay happy and celebrate his birthday. 12 AM, August 16, we sang happy birthday. Crying on the inside and smiling on the outside, we made ourselves believe that we ought to be happy for survival. The desperation was visible on our faces. Here are some pictures:

Now that I'm out of it (pray, the water works fine), I still don't feel so good about it. I want to hug my parents and stay in their arms forever. I want to see them smiling and keep talking to them forever. I want to be able to forget my pain and begin a happy life with my parents someday. Other people won't help me achieve that, I will.

I attempted to get myself a job offer at some good companies, and the recruiters would admit that I'm worthy and eligible and all, but then conclude, "…but our company generally gives only on-campus opportunities.". I get it. I'm not in an IIT. Not privileged enough to be allowed to compete with those IITians I'm far better than. I'll not have a chance, because they'll never come for on-campus opportunities to my college. Bless the IITs, for they've now stolen a hundred options of success from me despite my hardwork.

It is the interview season. I recently had a huge spam of texts and phonecalls by my seniors, asking, requesting, and even threatening me to help them with their online coding entrances. I clarified that I find it ethically wrong, but they continued to mentally disturb me by saying stuff that they, as my elders, shouldn't. I made a post on LinkedIn regarding that. I was so mentally tortured I couldn't take it anymore. And guess what? The responses were equally surprising and hostile.

A good number of people supported. By "supported", I don't mean "liked the post". Anybody would do that for free. Rather, some people appreciated my bravery and told me I did the right thing. On the other hand, some others simply scolded and criticized me brutally for the defamation of JUET, the possibility of JUET being blacklisted by recruiters, and making LinkedIn an unprofessional platform with my plea. What value I hath wrought from years of hardwork didn't seem to be anything to them. Shame on them for looking down on someone they should have been supportive to. And all those cowards who enjoy the perks of the flattery of such devil elders, may they suffer the consequences. Ahh!

Life is so stupid. Why am I working so hard? Whom for? Hello? Is anybody ever going to acknowledge me? Am I ever going to get any appreciation? EVER? Why me? Why? 😭

The question is on me. I've come far enough to understand how this universe works to a much better extent than before. Will I be able to plan my future strategically and always do what's right for me and my family? I hope I do. I hope I don't disappoint the one person who is always there to support me: Myself.

I had once felt like I saw God, but suddenly there was no God. I looked around. Nothing. I was alone. All by myself. Nobody was there to help me achieve my dreams. I suddenly felt this urge to be so grateful for what I have, and not assume that this is the worst it can get. It could get worse, and there's a lot I can get out of my present rather than worrying about my future. And you, dear reader, ought to be grateful for what you have, too.

I sincerely take my leave now. ❤️

Lots of love,

Param Siddharth.

#life #pain #money #education #suffering #escape #trauma #depression #strength #mental health #healthylife #growing #change #maturity

[meggannn]

Thoughts and analysis on Gen. Armstrong (if you don't mind)

oh absolutely. a lot of this is speculation on my part, but it’s just my reading and theories on how she kind of came to be who she is.

so i vibe with armstrongs being a very traditional, patriarchal family in a very old-fashioned country. they had four daughters, olivier being the oldest and (arguably) most capable, but alex, the second youngest kid but only son, was the one chosen to lead the family. i think that olivier carried a lot of the burdens of being the oldest sibling and oldest daughter.

maybe olivier was the first daughter in the armstrong family in a long list of sons? i like that idea because it kind of has the opportunity harden her to the world as a kid, in my mind. a lot of excitement for the firstborn in an illustrious family, and… it’s a girl. ugh. okay, well, we’ll try again.

except i think olivier really decided to just start doing whatever she thought a male firstborn would get to do, taking her studies seriously, preparing to be the armstrong heir, and her family just kinda sighed and didn’t take her seriously. when she joins the military, i am going to bet that she either had to fight for it, or there was a lot of familial backlash/tsking between her parents because ~a woman shouldnt be in the army~ (i am operating under the belief she’s the only female officer to ever make it to general, because to my recollection i don’t think we’ve ever seen another female officer as high or higher than her). and when alex follows her to the military years later, i’m going to bet she was L I V I D when their parents were like “well of course, he’s the oldest son, he’s going to make us proud.” there were screaming matches of epic proportions when she joined, and when he does, it’s all fine. (even alex as an adult isn’t entirely rid of sexism when he asks when she’s ever gonna change her attitude so she can get a husband. and when she challenges his right to head the family, he arguably loses because he underestimated her. although i’m also going to chalk part of that up to the fact that although alex wanted to head the family, he didn’t NEED to win as badly as olivier needed to, because she needed to kick their family out and use the mansion to house her troops to prepare for the promised day. that’s the kind of person she is, “i need this to happen and so it will happen, i will give myself no other option.”)

i don’t think that olivier is the kind of person who pushes her limits to try to “prove” anything to other people; maybe she started by trying to mostly prove it to herself, but it eventually just became who she is. no nonsense. very protective, but maybe tired of taking care of kids/siblings. highly capable, very savvy. perfect for briggs. i think she takes her role as their leader VERY seriously. she knows she’s earned it, and up north defending the border, she sees how every person matters.

i’ve always wondered if there’s something in how olivier is stationed at briggs, the furthest possible post away from central. i don’t think it’s to get away from anything, exactly; it does seem like the best job suited for her. i think partly this represents her physical distance and distain for politics: she clearly looks down on mustang, possibly because he’s a state alchemist, and maybe part of it is for his reputation of being an annoying flirt who can charm his way up the ranks while maybe she had to fight for every rank she earned, though i think also part of it is because she thinks he’s naive to join the very system he’s trying to abolish. but as we see in late show, she’s not terrible at the politics and backstabbing, i think she just doesn’t like to deal with bullshit. she’s a very blunt person. she’ll play chess if she has to, clearly, but when she pulls the sword on the room full of officers, you know she’s been waiting MONTHS to do that.

she also doesn’t like alchemy. i’ve always wondered if there’s a reason behind this – the wiki says “she views [equivalent exchange] as a mindset promoting easy handouts and unnecessary compromise” so i’m guessing she doesnt like philosophies that base themselves around quid pro quo agreements, especially since it leads very easily to corruption. the armstrongs are a very noble family that take that sort of thing seriously. i think she’s smart enough to realize alchemy is often NECESSARY, but the state alchemists themselves are… ugh. difficult to deal with and probably almost always really bossy. and think they’re so fuckin special. and also all male. so it’s no wonder she doesn’t give a shit about edward elric, some kid who shows up with no warning with a letter from her annoying brother, asking for her help.

so already she has a chip on her shoulder about alex: he’s a younger sibling she had to take care of; he’s a younger BROTHER who got more support and fewer roadblocks than she did for achieving (or even wanting) the same things way before he ever did; he’s also an alchemist, and state alchemist. she’d see that as annoying at best and borderline dishonorable at worst.

and then ishval.

so for the record, i fully believe that by the events of canon, olivier’s intense disgust for alex for his “cowardly” actions in ishval is mostly, if not entirely, an act. i think it’s EASY for her to act like it’s real, because she struggles with real feelings of hostility and annoyance toward alex for the reasons above, and she WOULD probably think he’s a poor soldier for defying orders…… but would she openly advocate for genocide? she’s not perfect, but i don’t think that of her. but she lets absolutely none of that internal questioning show on the outside. externally? “my brother is a disgrace. he failed to protect this country. if i were head of the family, i’d dishonor him publicly.” and alex, you know, i think he sees past this, a little? he knows she has to say these things otherwise she’d lose her reputation and might also be demoted, given she’s on a rickety foundation as a woman general as is. she doesn’t have to be so passionate about her opinions, but she might also have gained a target on her back by his actions in ishval; maybe they’d assume she had ishvallan sympathies because he was her brother. so she’s already got enough baggage against alex, and he inadvertently dumps some more political bullshit on her back just because he didn’t do his job. i think she’d say the things she did to distance herself from alex, not because she’s angry with him or disappointed in him (though there is a bit of that, but for unrelated reasons), to keep her position. she’s very ruthless politically. you could question the morality of this, like i do, but i don’t entirely blame her for feeling like she could lose her position as the only female general in charge of defending a politically hot border position.

fma has a rather annoying “we don’t see color” attitude wrt race at times, but in the case of olivier, whose attitude after all the years in briggs is “we literally cannot afford to be prejucide, there are so few capable people here, and if someone works, they are part of the team and will be treated with respect, full stop” it makes sense why she’d say what she said to miles. it’s not that i think she’s an ishvallan activist behind the scenes because of her lieutenant, but i think she knows the “war” was complete horseshit and fully respects his bitter feelings toward the amestrian government.

privately, though, i think olivier knows clearly that this country is messed up, before “the shape of this country.” but she has a very powerful family, and it’s hard to completely renounce that dedication. she still loves amestris a lot. she feels very protective of the people she’s defending, even if she doesn’t like them very much.

i respect that she swallows her pride, gives up briggs, and joins the political battle in central when it becomes clear that that’s the best way to get to the center of the matter. imo she and roy mustang teaming up, unnoticed, in the heart of the beast could have made an amazing combo, but ofc she’d never let that happen lmao. she is a good person without being a nice person. that’s refreshing. she’s ruthless, pragmatic, ambitious, angry, untrusting, and kind of an asshole, and yet you never doubt that she is, at heart, honorable and trustworthy. she will tell you what she thinks of you. she hates lying. but she will cave and do what the people of amestris needs her to do; we see she IS able to separate her government from her country. i think she always knew, but the events of the show are kind of her “put up or shut up” moment to stand up and show where her loyalties really are, and she delivered. she’d be offended if you ever even thought she might choose differently.

i love olivier a lot because she doesn’t have an arc in the traditional sense; her personality and position don’t change much from the time we meet her to the last time we see her. her biggest change is that she lets herself show pride in her brother, or maybe she’s able to admit that she’s proud of him in the first place. i think for her, that’s enough. i also really, really like that she’s not shown as someone who NEEDS to change. she’s allowed to be an angry, confident, strong woman in charge of a fort who likes things the way she likes them and expects you bend to her rules in her fort or you will leave. i think it’s a great accomplishment and testament to the writing and acting to show that she is not nice, and not always likable, but you never question she is a good person.

#olivier mira armstrong #Anonymous #askbox #megan talks about fma

[angsty-nerd]

Okay so I don't want to sound like a horrible person but it almost seems that Liz needed to be healed in order for Max and Liz to realize their potential. If Liz never got shot, maybe she wouldn't have taken down her armour with Max? Not saying it's a good thing she was shot, there could have been other opportunities for Max to heal her but...what if it's all part of some larger plan? Destiny was always going to bring them back together because they were meant to be! Love your input by the way!

Oh 100%. We’re on the same page on this one and that’s absolutely what I was trying to get at. I think that if she hadn’t been shot and healed, than she would have continued to have that internal struggle. But I also think that the scene in the Crashdown before the shooting kind of shows that Liz IS capable of shaking it off. But it would have continued to be a struggle for her without the healing and she certainly would have had trouble getting there with the “influence” still in place.

That doesn’t mean she might not have gotten there eventually. But poor Max would have had to fight a whole lot longer and a whole lot harder.

I hate to jump to “destiny” only because that was such an OG trope and I’m not sure that’s necessarily what they’re trying to get at on RNM. But I do think that the show is going to show how hard they have to fight to stay together. And I’m optimistic that they’re not necessarily going to end up “with” anyone else at any point. I think their obstacles are likely going to be external rather than internal their relationship.

Although this is the CW, so maybe I’m just naive!

#anonymous asks #rnm echo meta #rnm echo #max&liz

[aspoonofsugar]

Hi, I was wondering if maybe you had a method, or an experience, anything actually, to advise on this, because you seem really, really knowledgeable on everything touching fiction and construction of it around characters' arc. But above all, do not force yourself to answer if you don't want to bc I don't want to bother you! It's been a while, since I'm a child, that I've characters in mind for a fiction. I often daydreaming of them, especially since I tried to create a plot and an universe.

But it isn’t deep enough (the MC miss a real stake so oc, the end doesn’t exist, just subsidiary things that can make arcs but not a guideline for articulate all the work), and even though it’s pleasant to ‘rave’ about potentials scenes, I wish to write this one day but can’t even give a proper direction like that. It’s possibly getting on a fantasia universe, but at the same time even if I wish to have a personal universe I don’t want it to be a repetition of every declination

of fantasy models universe as it’s often the case with this kind of projects. So maybe it’s just going to be a SF in real word idk… anyway, if you have an idea of smth to advise in this case for creating a universe even if the process is supposed to be the opposite process (universe - plot- chara) I would really appreciate it very much. Sorry to have bothered you, if you don’t have don’t worry, you’re not obliged to answer. At worst I would find this by myself one day! Wishing you a good day!            

Hello anon!

Thank you for your kind words, I feel really flattered :)!

When it comes to your ask, I will try to answer it, but you should consider that I will talk generically since I don’t know much about your idea. In other words my suggestions might sound too generic and you might not know how to immediately apply them to your story. However, I hope they can be of some help.

From what you say, it seems to me that right now you should not really worry about the worldbuilding, but rather you should try to develop what you already have aka the characters and (I guess) some themes linked to them. As a matter of fact it seems to me that it is in these elements that your main idea lies.

I will try to explain myself better. A story is made of many elements (characters, themes, the world, the conflict and so on). All these elements are interconnected and the more they are coherent with each other and intertwined the more the story itself becomes cohesive and thightly written. What is more, among the above-mentioned elements, conflict is probably the most important one since the main conflict of a story defines the kind of story you are gonna tell.

In summary, we can say two things.

1) All the elements of a story are (idealistically) intertwined.

2) The main conflict of the story should be decided early on.

Now, every story is born by a simple idea which is then developed in something more complex and sometimes this idea is transformed to the point that it becomes difficult to recognize the original inspiration. However, a first and primitive idea is always needed. This first idea is about (at least) a specific narrative element. For example, it can be about a world with special attributes or about a specific theme the story wants to explore. In order to develop this idea it can be useful to understand the different possible conflicts it can give birth to, to choose one which is interesting and to determine the other elements of the narration in a way which is coherent with the initial idea.

Your basic idea is about the characters and since you have some ideas about the arc you want your main character to have you probably also know what this character must convey thematically. In other words you may also have some ideas about the themes of your narration. You should now try to shape these elements in an interesting conflict which is the struggle your character will go through.

You mentioned you are not convinced about your current draft because the stakes are not high enough for your character. A way to try and have a best result might be to give your character a different objective from the one they have right now.

TRY TAMPERING WITH YOUR CHARACTERS’ FLAWS AND OBJECTIVES

Generally speaking, characters are defined by a flaw and by something they want aka an objective. Usually their flaw goes in the way of their objective.

Let’s also highlight that to be more precise characters usually have two objectives which are one internal and the other external. The relationship between the internal and the external objective can give birth to different arcs structurally speaking.

For example, I mentioned in this ask that Kogami from Psycho Pass has the external objective not overlapping with the internal one. In other words, it is a case of what you need and what you want.

Kogami’s internal objective is to become a detective and to stop living like a hunting dog. This is what he needs.

However, his external objective is to kill Makishima. This is what he wants.

It is obvious that if Kogami wants to realize his internal objective he must give up his external one and vice versa. On one hand if he gives in to his flaw (his desire for revenge and his most instinctual pulsions) he will be successful in his external objective, but fail his internal one. On the other hand if he overcomes his flaw he will fail his external objective, but be successful in his internal one and change, so becoming the protagonist of an arc of transformation.

I will now make an example of how a narrative can be structured starting from defining a specific character. My objective is to show that just by thinking deeply about things like a flaw, an external objective and the way a transformation can happen many different stories (well at least many ideas for many different stories) can be born.

I will talk about Elen from Requiem of the Phantom. It is not necessary for you to truly know the series because I will simply discuss some aspects very generically.

Elen’s character has an arc of transformation and is also the character who lives the most important conflict in the series. She starts as a person who has no will of her own and her internal objective is to develop one. These two aspects are her flaw (lack of will) and her internal objective (developing a will of her own). Now, it is obvious that said like this they can seem very abstract elements. However, it is from developing and specifying these two elements that a more defined character and story can be born.

First of all, once it has been established that her flaw is a lack of will, one must come up with some reasons for it. Why does a person lack a will? Different answers can be given and from each different answer a different character will be born. In Elen’s case the answer is that she has been caught by a criminal organization and transformed into an assassin. Because of this, she has developed a very frail sense of self. In short her lack of will is the result of a specific coping mechanism she developed to survive.

Secondly, there is the problem of how to convey the fact that by the end Elen has a will of her own. In other words her internal conflict needs to be given an external representation. This must happen because we are in a story and stories show conflicts and do not simply tell them. So how can you show an internal transformation like the one Elen must go through? The answer the series gives is to create the character of the Scythe Master aka the main antagonist. Elen’s internal conflict is conveyed through her conflict with Scythe who wants to control her. In order to make the story more cohesive Scythe is not only the character who wants to control Elen in the story itself, but also the one who is responsible for her abuse and so for her initial situation.

A situation where a character must fight another who wants to control them is a good conflict to talk about themes like freedom and self-affirmation (and this is also why you find it in many stories). What is more, it is a conflict with the potential of being very dynamic and it can be used to write many different stories by changing some elements like the character’s personality (e.g. Ash in Banana Fish lives a similar conflict, but his personality is the opposite of Elen and so he has a different flaw which lets the narrative develop in a different way).

Finally, let’s also highlight that other than choosing a flaw and an objective you must come up with a situation which kicks off the character’s change. How is it possible that this character changes? In Requiem for the Phantom the answer is that Elen changes because she meets Reiji aka a person who is put in a situation very similar to her, but that reacts differently and in this way shows her a different path. Once again, this is not the only possible answer.

For example, in BF Ash is challenged not because he meets a person in a similar situation as him, but because he meets Eiji aka a person who comes from a completely different background and who makes him experience a different reality.

Let’s also highlight that in BF there is a dynamic where a character is challenged by another who has had a similar upbringing to his, but is reacting to said situation in a different way. It is the case of YL and Ash. Yut Lung is shown by Ash that there are other ways to react to a specific situation, but YL, differently from Elen, develops jealousy and is almost self-destroyed by his flaw until he meets another person (Sing) who helps him out.

Let’s now try to give other possible answers to the question: “How can Elen change?”.

For example, she might find herself without Scythe Master. Being removed from him might force her to start acting on her own. So now the question becomes “how is she removed from him?”.

He might die and leave her a last mission to complete. Elen who is lost without orders could choose to follow this post-mortuous order, but might come to realize throughout this last mission that she is her own person and she might choose to act against her orders and to use what she knows to go against Scythe’s last will. As you can see the plot becomes completely different from the one of the series. In this version the external conflict is determined by what is Elen’s last mission and it is obvious that she will have to face situations during the completion of this mission which will challenge her.

Elen might be removed from Scythe also for some external tampering. For example, she might be kidnapped by a rival organization. And we could also add some supernatural element. This rival organization has developed a technology which lets two people swap bodies. They might be wiling to send a person to spy the criminal organization Elen is a part of and she might find herself in another body and far away from Scythe. In this new environment she might meet situations which will let her grow. For example, the organization which kidnapped her is actually made of a bunch of misfits who live emarginated from society, but try to use their skills to fight criminality and have targeted Inferno (Elen’s group). In a healthieir environment Elen might feel accepted and grow.

I have added this last example to start discussing about worldbuilding and fantastic elements. As a matter of fact the body-swapping technology is a fantastic element and if it were to be added would modify the genre of the narration and add some supernatural aspects. Such a choice needs to be developed. For example, how does this body-swapping device work? If we choose to introduce it, then it would be a waste not to develop it further which means that it would be great if it added more conflict and more thematic meaning to the whole story.

It could be done this way. The device might still be a prototype and so, it works only if at least one of the two people involved in the swapping has a very weak will. This might also be the reason why Elen is chosen as a target.

This could be interesting because Elen’s external objective might become the one of going back to her own body, so that she can keep obeying her master’s orders. However, her internal objective is to develop a will and to affirm who she is, so in the end she might very well choose to fight her master and not to go back to her body. In short, her external objective is to go back to be herself physically, but in the end she becomes herself in a psychological sense. What is more, since her arc is about developing her own will, she is going to do so gradually and this means that ironically the more she develops the less chances she has to go back to her own body because the device only works if one of the two people involved has an enough weak will. This could lead to a series of minor conflicts between Elen herself and the members of the group which swapped her. On one hand they might start to develop a relationship with her, but on the other hand they might be worried about the person in Elen’s body who will found themselves stuck if Elen develops.

Finally, body-swapping is a trope which can be easily used to develop themes linked to empathy since it lets a person be in another one’s shoes, quite literally. So, we could use it to develop this theme as well in relation to the character who swapped with Elen. This character may have a personal grudge against Inferno and may initially despise Elen. However, after seeing how she is usually treated by the Scythe Master they might develop sympathy for her and they may wish to help her escape.

Let’s also underline that this body switch device might very well become something Scythe Master himself grows interested in and he might want to take it for himself because, if coupled with people like Elen who lack a will (and he is good at creating them), assassinations will become easier.

Now these are just random ideas and it is not important that they are good or bad ones. My aim is simply to show that by modifying some elements different kinds of conflicts are born and in this way different possible plots.

Because of this, it might be useful for you to tamper with these elements as well. You might realize that the external conflict you are thinking of might be more interesting if coupled with a character with a different flaw (e.g. a scared character will struggle more if coupled with a conflict which challenges them to be brave, rather than with one which challenges them to be generous). You may also have to think of an external objective which creates a more interesting conflict. In this case, remember that this objective must show in a concrete way what your character is going through in their interiority. Moreover, if you think about an objective which is important for your character, then the stakes will automatically get higher. In order to do so you might have to rethink or to elaborate on some details of the character’s background. As a matter of fact, the more specific and personal the objective you come up with is the easier will be to better characterize your character and to build the story.

SOME CONSIDERATIONS ON WORLDBUILDING

You specifically asked about worldbuilding, so I will make some very general considerations.

First of all, worldbuilding is an element present in all narrations and not only in stories with a fantastic setting.

Secondly, in all stories it should do at least two things.

1) Add to the conflict.

2) Add to the themes.

Let’s consider once again Requime for the Phantom because it has a realistic setting, but its worldbuilding fulfills the two conditions above.

As mentioned above, in Requiem for the Phantom there is a criminal organization called Inferno who forces Elen and the other protagonist Reiji to work as assassins.

This organization is pretty realistic in how it works, but it still has a thematic meaning. As a matter of fact it is the physical hell the characters must escape from. What is more, it is made by traitors from other organizations and in this way it is linked to the theme of betrayal which is present in the series as a whole.

Moreover, the organization itself and how it is structured contributes to the conflict. As a matter of fact many of the conflicts which interest the protagonists are born because of other characters wanting to obtain more power within the organization itself.

When it comes to your story, you must come up with a setting which is coherent with your conflict and with your major themes. Consider that it is something which might come naturally later on once you have developed the story more. That said, you must see if a fantastic world is necessary for the story you want to tell or if it better works in a more realistic setting. Be it one way or the other you will still have to create a universe which is good for your story.

If you choose a realistic setting you might have to research some aspects of it (for example, if you set it in a hospital you might want to research how hospitals work; this could also help you with the plot because you might discover unexpected things which might come in handy to create interesting situations).

If you choose a fantastic setting you will have to establish how that world works. What is more, the fantastic elements should not appear in the story just because, but should have an important role.

Idealistically the world you set your story in is the only world where your story can be told. This means that if you change some aspects of it another story will be possible, but not yours.

In short, the choice of the setting should be useful to your story as a whole and not be simply something extra.

For example, if you want to write a story about a skater who becomes better and better in her own discipline it doesn’t make much sense to set it in a hospital. The world you are gonna explore is gonna be the one of professional skating with all its dynamics and rules.

It is not that you can’t have a story with a skater in a hospital, but it will have to be about something different than her becoming a champion. It could be about her having to solve a criminal case which involves her roommate for example. And in the end she will solve it because of something she has learnt in her skating days (because if her being a skater is not important for the story, then why should she be?).

The same goes for fantastic worlds. If you are gonna put your story in one, you should think why putting it in such a world is necessary and as you do you will create a specific fantastical world with attributes which are original and functional to your story.

For example, you might choose that your character’s objective is to find a magical object to solve a certain problem. You must then establish the problem which might be linked to your character’s flaw. let’s say your character is a coward, so he chooses to go find an object not to be a coward anymore. Of course through his journey he overcomes his flaw without the need of a magic object (this is the idea behind the Wizard of Oz after all). Another hypothesis is that your character has a problem, finds an object which seems able to fix it, but it turns out that an even bigger problem is created and so your protagonist has to fix it. Another possible structure is that your character has a curse (which might very well be linked to themes or their character flaw) and their objective becomes freeing themselves from said curse.

As I am sure you have noticed these are all common structures you can find in many different stories. They work and the stories which have them are all different because of how they are declined. Which kind of curse fits my character best? A character who puts a lot of importance on physical looks will be challenged by being changed in a horrible monster. Who cursed them? A jealous witch? Or maybe in a comic twist it might be the person who must marry them who found the way they looked previously disgusting. Such a premise could very well be used to explore themes like how beauty is relative to an extent or how it is wrong to try and change one’s own partner. Then how can the curse be lifted? Maybe the character will have to overcome some trials. Or maybe they must pass the curse to other five people and so the MC will have to select their targets. If they are a good person, they might not really be willing to do so and they might feel guilty about it, so they might choose to find people who “deserve” it and so on.

I hope I gave you a general idea.

To summarize:

- It is not really important the order you follow when you plan your story, but it is useful to start with one or two elements you have ideas about.

- These elements will help you shape your conflict (which can also be the element you start with).

- It can be useful to build the other elements in a way that they are coherent with your original idea. In other words, what you want to convey can help you in thinking about which kind of elements you have to introduce.

Finally, this way of planning might seem a little too rigid, so I want to make one thing clear. These are instruments and not strict rules. The one I talked about is simply a method to approach and plan a story and it is useless if one has not an idea they want to convey.

From what you say, I think that you clearly want to convey something and you are clearly very passionate about it since it is a story which has been with you since you were a child and you have even been dreaming your characters. Looking at it with these instruments (even if it might be strange at first) might help you better realize what you want to say and you might even discover you have more than what you thought and that you simply need to organize it differently. You might also be able to come up with a plot you like more by simply changing a small element. In short, this method is simply a way to look at your story from a different perspective and it might be helpful.

Another way to go at it is to talk about your story with someone you trust. This person might tell you what they like about it and which are the aspects they find more interesting. By starting from these aspects you might be able to develop these ideas more and you might make progress.

I hope I was of some help and good luck with your story!

#writing #miscellania #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

[writingonesdreams]

Novel Prep Tag Game 2

So I did this one before, but the questions are so great I'm probably going to do this for every important story idea. So here goes the newest one!

Rules: Answer the questions and then tag as many writers as there are questions answered (or as many as you can) to spread the positivity! Even if these questions are not explicitly brought up in the novel, they are still good to keep in mind when writing.

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

A young ambassador tries to keep peace during the tournament where mages from different dimensions use their abilities for sport instead of combat for the first time after the Era of Wars.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

A novel for now.

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

Changing dimensions. Big cities. Empty desolated desert. Seascape with scattered rocks. 

4. What other stories inspire your novel?  

Darker Shade of Magic series from V.A. Schwab, Masaryk movie, Megalo Box anime 

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

6. Who is your protagonist?  

Anise the dimension ambassador. She is one of the strongest mages of her age, mastering the highest level of magic and has been selected by the current ruling mage family to keep peace and contact between her assigned dimensions.

7. Who is their closest ally?

The second prince Cole, who is Anise’s closest friend and also a participant in the games. Later the two get close with Rhys and Oliver.

8. Who is their enemy?

Officialy the participants of the games only in sporting manner. But mainly the prejudices and tension between the mages since the relationships are still strained after the wars and not every magic type is considered equally powerful.

9. What do they want more than anything?

Anise wants to be sure that her life has meaning, that she is living her life and using her talents the best way she can. Rhys wants to prove himself during the games. Cole wants to show his parents and the magic world he isn't a powerful prince just because of his birth, but because he earned the abilities he possesses. Oliver wants to know if he is good enough for the world.

Basically all characters struggle with feelings of worthlessness and how to feel valuable again.

10. Why can’t they have it?

Anise doesn't know what she wants or what she is missing, since she has a meaningful job, but doesn't enjoy her life. Rhys has been looked down upon and mistreated because of his affinity to fire magic (that is considered died out and blamed for causing the Era of Wars in the first place). Cole as the second prince doesn't get as much attention or recognition.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Anise believes her job and magic abilities are the only things that make her valuable. Rhys believes he has to fight to feel alive because he doesn't have any real worth because of his magic.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Anise is tall and slender girl, has long golden-blond wavy hair, grey eyes and ivory skin. She has very delicate features and is rather pale. She likes to wear blue clothes.

Rhys is muscular and tall with slightly tanned skin, black curly hair and blue eyes. He is covered in scars, most notably on his arms and on his right cheek.

Cole is tall, but less muscular then Rhys. He has slightly longer black hair, vibrant green eyes and fair skin.

Oliver has short black hair and dark blue eyes. He looks very similar to his older brother Rhys in features. He is 14 so he is short compared to the others.

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

Anise struggles with finding passion in her job, that despite being meaningful doesn't make her happy. She never knew what she wanted and followed her talent, because she isn't sure if who she really is, beside her talent in magic and intelligence, is worth anything.

Rhys feels empty and starved, frustrated about his life in a dying dimension with magic that marks him to other people as being dangerous and bad. He doesn't know what exactly he is seeking, but only feels alive when he fights and experiences the thrill of it.

14. What is the external conflict?

Anise wants to prove her competence as the dimensional ambassador. That she's self-reliant, mature and responsible enough and can use her magic for a good purpose and be part of something bigger then herself.

Rhys wants to advance and win in the games to prove himself and his worth. He hates being written off because of something he can't change and that is such a fundamental part of himself. Rhys wants to see how far he can go when he gives his maximum despite the conditions set on him by others. He also hates how he can't provide for his younger brother because of the prejudices and limits put on him by others because of his magic.

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?  

For Anise it would be disappointing the king by failing at her task, and therefore failing as a person in her eyes.

For Rhys to go back to his previous life, being frustrated and letting his self-destructiveness destroy him slowly.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?  

What kind of magic is the strongest? What privileges do the most powerful mages deserve? Is it correct and fair to judge someone according to their magic and the level of their abilities? How much does magic actually reveal about the user?

17. Do you know how it ends?  

I have a general idea of the direction the story is headed and I know what the resolutions of the character arcs will be, but I don't have a definite ending. I'm trying to not to spoil myself, because often when I know the ending I lose intersting in writin the story.

18. What is the theme?  

Self-worth, what people see as valuable in others and in themselves, drive, passion, prejudices, life purpose, direction, meaning

19. What is a reoccurring symbol?  

Fire, river, sea, clouds, whirlwind of colours, magical portals

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)  

It's set in a number of dimensions that mages can travel through. The first half of the story as well as the place for the games is on non-magical earth so no mage would have an advantage of channelling his original world for magic.

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?  

Yes I have several scenes in my head, that I’m working on connecting into a logical plot.

22. What excited you about this story?

Magic as important part of the plot and symbol for the themes, the growing closeness between very different people, sibling relationship, friendship bonds and support

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!  

I always start with characters that I stick in different scenarios or in my favourite movies and series or books and let them interact. From those I mostly get inspiring scenes that I try to connect through a plot. Afterwards I work on characterisation, world-building, research details and outline stuff a bit. I also write little snippets that sometimes turn long and can be used as chapters.

#writeblr #wip #wip intro #tag game #novel prep tag game #tag games #writing #my writing #my wip #ocs #creative writing #wip: when the worlds cross

[sol1056]

This is a writing question, and you always have good insight. I struggle with writing fight scenes and have read through some of the posts you have reblogged on the subject. As an exercise I'm curious, how would you write the VLD S6/E5 Black Paladins/Winter Soldier fight sequence as a narrative? There's so much action and movement, and the setting is so complicated. Or maybe the answer is you don't? There's a limit to transforming visual media into prose? But probably I'm just unskilled. : /

There are certainly things that are easier to do with visual, but it’s also a rather stifling medium, too. In visual media, you’re controlling everything. If you try to do that on the page, you’re going to fail, especially if you have this idea you should be able to quiz readers after, and know they all agree immediately on the setting, the events, the characters. And truth is… they won’t. They never will. 

So, throw those details over your shoulder, let the reader’s own imagination fill in a lot of the blanks, and carry on into the fight. 

Because here’s the other thing: in visual media, viewer is observer, separated by that fourth wall. In textual media, the reader is the character. In the character’s head, with the immediacy of emotions and physical sensation. That’s where the powerful stuff happens – in the five senses + the heart – not in the technical details of who parried and punched. 

In this post, I’ll break the entire fight scene into its parts, using this edit as a guide for an unbroken version. This is even longer than usual since I did go ahead and write a few segments examples of how I might tackle some parts. 

In the next post I’ll talk about how the internal decision points built on each other, each one leading to Keith’s final decision, at the end of the scene. 

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a fight, but even when you’re strong enough to hold your own… there’s something just overwhelming about emotion. If the average fight scene means the character’s dealing with someone who wants to hurt them, maybe even wants them dead, that’s one thing. Fights like VLD:BP or CA:WS are on another level: your opponent wants to kill you. Erase you, destroy you. Personal is one thing. Personal from someone you once thought close? There is little more brutally devastating than that. 

If you have to cut back on a fight’s length, cut down on the technical particulars. But do not skimp on the emotional, because without that, the fight won’t hurt. In any other fight, the character’s pain is the cost of victory. In a personal fight, the character’s victory is the source of emotional pain. No one’s gonna truly win this one.  

The other thing to remember about a fight is that it’s a scene like any other.

goal

conflict

disaster

reaction

dilemma

decision (new goal)

Same structure, with a twist. For truly intense scenes, cycle through spiraling inward until you get to the innermost heart of the conflict. You want a progression towards the final decision: goal, conflict, reaction, decision, next stage of conflict. It’s the emotional counterpoint of “I punched, you blocked, you knocked me down, I swept your legs out from under you.” Over and over, action and reaction. 

Alright, let’s break down the VLD fight. I’ve included the onscreen length for each section, to give you a concrete sense of the pacing. 

intro: 44 seconds

First, we get a long intro as Keith follows Shiro’s tracks. This gives us a rough idea of his environment, and like the visuals, the text should stay pretty tight on what’s immediately around Keith. It’s also working up to the first emotional punch of the scene: realizing where he is (all the clones in their little purple cylinders). That emotional reaction sets the tone, putting Keith on his back foot before Shiro’s even appeared. 

first cycle: 42 seconds

Keith states his goal right up front: that he wants it to be okay, and they’ll leave together. Shiro refuses, ergo conflict. Keith’s half of this stage is pure defense, including using his shield. His POV would be trying to dodge Shiro’s blows, get his feet under him, evade. It matches what he’s trying to do emotionally at this point, which is to de-escalate. When Keith is forced backwards, it’s a physical representation of how he’s losing ground in this first iteration of the conflict. 

Keith is forced to draw his sword at this point, but he’s using it only to parry. He’s still on this first conflict of go-vs-not-go. Shiro’s punch becomes the disaster; Shiro’s position has overpowered Keith’s. When Keith is thrown right off the platform, it’s making the metaphor literal of Keith’s reaction – losing his footing, foundation, certainty. 

His reaction is maybe a heartbeat – really short, concrete but simple, sentences here, to relay a lot of information fast. As Shiro follows, we enter the dilemma stage – Shiro’s not giving way. Keith’s now got only a few choices: he can let himself get killed, or he can somehow escape and leave Shiro, but getting them both out is looking less likely by the second. 

second cycle: 36 seconds

When Shiro throws Keith down the stairs and Keith draws his sword again, that’s another decision point, which is simultaneously Keith’s new goal. My guess is that Keith has re-affirmed that third choice (get both out safely) but he’s changing tactics. He’s no longer pure defense; he’s holding his own, but he’s not truly on the offense, either. 

It’s still a losing argument for Keith, illustrated by how Shiro keeps shoving him back. There’s no need for dialogue, at this point. The fight itself is a metaphor for the emotional conflict: it’s no longer only ‘get Shiro out of here’ but ‘keep Shiro from killing me and get him out of here’ – and Keith is losing ground on that, now, too. 

This is where the damage adds to the metaphor. That’s not just a punch, that’s a move that pins Keith for a second, long enough for Shiro to tear away at Keith’s defenses (the helmet). Shiro goes full-body contact at that point, throwing them both off the platform. Again, Shiro’s unmoving as the obstacle, and that fall is the outcome. 

Here’s the point where visual media leaves it to us to fill in the blanks, but text lets you see flickers of Keith’s mental processes. His reaction (to the off-the-platform disaster in the cycle) is to grab the wire, and again, dilemma of whether to keep defending, run, or attack. 

third cycle: 29 seconds

That’s why the camera follows Shiro, to create the surprise of Keith’s decision point. (This kind of rapid but seamless POV shift – and then back again – is one thing that’s much harder to do in text.) This is the first point in the fight where Keith’s not just fighting back, he’s outright attacking. 

Keith’s actions show his emotions (in text version); his goal has gone from ‘de-escalate’ to more like ‘if I have to beat his head in and drag him out of here so help me I will’. Visually, we get flickers of Keith being Galra/animalistic, which in text I’d show by making the narration be Keith’s own internal orders, possibly down to one- or two-word sentences. Keith’s on the verge of achieving this goal when he backs Shiro up, to the point of pinning Shiro down. 

Turning the narration into a telegraphic choppiness conveys Keith’s no longer thinking, only acting/attacking. He’s non-verbal, so Shiro’s counterattack is verbal, instead: “That’s the Keith I remember.” (I’ll come back in a bit to why this line is important.) That breaks the stalemate and now Keith’s on the defensive again. 

fourth cycle: 27 seconds

At this point, Keith’s defended and lost, he’s attacked, and lost. His reaction to having the support beams cut away a split-second after he moves is to recognize that dilemma (he can neither beat Shiro, nor let himself be beaten). When he starts talking, that signals his new goal: talk Shiro down. 

This is the mid-point breather. This is where Keith can see a little more of what’s around him. But his dialogue also follows directly from Shiro’s last line; since Shiro brought up remembering Keith, Keith wants to get Shiro to remember even more (and come ‘back’ that way). Keith states his next objective: he’s not leaving without Shiro. His goal is narrowing down to a finer point each time. 

Shiro’s half of the conflict – “neither of us are leaving” – is followed by this section’s disaster: the station’s power overloading, a signal it’s about to blow. 

interlude/exposition: 16 seconds

It might seem odd to have this pocket in the middle, where the camera pulls away to show the bigger picture of the station. In text, it’d be about a paragraph, maybe two, and it’s a chance for the reader to breathe. This is the last chance for enough description of what’s around. This is where you’d pull back enough for the character to realize they’re hanging out over a steep drop, or the train’s coming down the track, or some other external threat that raises the stakes even higher. 

It’s also where Shiro has some kind of power backlash, and we get Keith’s reaction – that despite everything, he still calls out Shiro’s name. With that, we’re back into this mini-scene in the fight. 

fifth cycle: 88 seconds

This is where the pacing gets really truncated, because the conflict’s at a stalemate. Shiro’s not going along, full stop. Now the only conflict that remains is the dilemma created by Keith’s reaction – that is, that he still sees Shiro as Shiro, yet saving Shiro has become secondary to not getting killed by Shiro. 

This emotional dilemma is represented by the next set of maneuvers. Keith is going through reaction-dilemma-decision at split-second timing, and each one ends in literal disaster. In text, Keith’s internal dialogue would be narrowed down to perhaps a short choice/order, with immediate outcome. Ahhh, something like: 

Keith landed hard on his knees, gasping as he scrambled to his feet. The ramp ended up ahead. Stairs led up. Away. He ran for it.   

The ramp’s supports exploded, sliced apart by the white-purple beam. The ramp tilted, dropping out from under Keith. He slid, grabbing frantically, unable to get purchase. The metal had sheared up at the end, creating a small ledge. Keith landed on it, hard, and the ramp shuddered under him. 

Far above, Shiro took aim and fired again. 

The platform swayed, metal groaning. Canisters tumbled down. 

Keith leapt out into the air, arms flailing. Another platform lay below, at a diagonal. His jetpacks fired, sparked, and went out. He could see the arc of his fall. He wasn’t going to make it. 

Keith lunged, stretching. His fingers caught the platform’s edge, jolting his body violently. Agony lanced through him and Keith screamed, suspended over an endless drop. 

The metal cut into his gloves, scoring his palms. Keith kicked his legs, once, and hauled himself upwards. He squinted, pain blurring his vision. His sword waited about twenty feet away. 

Keith rolled over, pushing himself up onto his elbows.  

(Go easy on me, it was a long day and I can’t do fight scenes impromptu very well.) 

If you look at the duration of each section, the parts were getting shorter and shorter – until this last one. It consists entirely of Keith dodging, fleeing, running. He’s not fighting back anymore, he’s just trying to survive. 

Think about the pacing. If every second visually is about 10 words of text, then the introductory exposition was about a page and a quarter of a paperback book. The first section was roughly the same. The third, a page. The fourth, about three-quarters of a page. That interlude to show the wider destruction was a half-page at most. 

And the readers would need that breather, because it’s followed by two and a half pages of Keith basically at a dead run. By the time Keith collapses onto the platform, this works, because the reader would be just as out of breath.   

sixth cycle: 45 seconds

In this new stage, Shiro absolutely has the upper hand. His goal (as shown by his actions) is on the verge of winning; Keith’s last-minute reaction of self-defense is Keith’s turn to be the obstacle. The energy-sword against the Marmora blade is the physical counterpart to the emotional weight of that exchange: Keith trying to reach Shiro, Shiro telling Keith to let go. 

The key in this part is the tension. The sentences would get slightly longer; keep the focus extremely tight, but incorporate all the senses. Everything is else is stripped away, narrowed down to only the essential – but those extra details prolong the tension. It’s sort of the textual version of that one big punch in visual media getting taken down to slow-motion. It’s not just bringing everything into sharp focus; it also makes the outcome feel like an inevitability.   

Keith’s final decisive act, if you wanted to be extra-dramatic, would get its own line. There’s nothing wrong with letting white space around the words double the strength of the words. (Note also that this is where the overly flashy foreshadowing of Keith’s ambidextrous use of the black bayard back in S3 finally gets a payoff; we don’t need to see anything but the bayard extend into a sword and we can figure out the rest.)

uhhhh maybe something like:

The agony cut into his jaw, skin sizzling as Shiro pushed the edge closer. Keith howled, twisting his head away. Sweat dripped into his eyes, nostrils full with the reek of burning flesh. Shiro’s full weight bore down on him, energy-blade sparking against Keith’s sword. Keith tasted blood, braced himself, and called forth the black bayard. 

It snapped into life and Keith swung. 

One stroke upwards, slicing through Shiro’s upper arm. Enough to throw Shiro off-balance and backwards. Keith climbed to his feet, bayard in one hand, sword in the other.       

Where the previous section was a reaction-decision-reaction cycle, this section gives the conflict, and uses Keith’s actions to demonstrate his reaction, dilemma, and decision, all in one movement. That visual of Keith standing – or, in text, the last line above – implies Keith’s final act, wrapped up in a decision. He will strike back, but it will not be lethal. 

Like the other decision points in this scene, there’s a close-up of Keith’s face, of about 6 seconds (or a paragraph). In a way, this is Keith’s own reaction to the disaster he just delivered. In text, this moment would depend on the characterization. Either they’d acknowledge what they’ve done, or they’d simply observe; in the latter, you’d need to find words whose connotations reflect the character’s state of mind.

seventh cycle: 120+ seconds

The sixth cycle ends the conflict between Keith and Shiro. Now the conflict turns external: human-vs-environment. The big-picture view of the station collapsing is almost thirty seconds (little over three-quarters of a page), and it’s both a breather (Shiro is defeated) and a huge escalation of the stakes (everything is on the verge of coming down). The question is whether Keith can get himself and an unconscious Shiro to safety. The failing station has won the conflict of ‘how to get out of here’, and the outcome is: ‘you aren’t’. 

Here, in text, I would do a kind of blurred jump-cut that echoes what you get in visual media. Short, incomplete sentences – no more than a paragraph’s worth – that don’t resolve into a visual until the white space. 

The central control unit smashed into the suspension wires. The circular platform under Keith’s feet pitched up with a metallic shudder. 

Keith fell, catching Shiro’s wrist. A quick thrust of his blade into the platform, anchoring them. Metal groaned, a guywire snapped. The platform tipped onto its side. Keith clung to the knife’s hilt, grip tight on Shiro’s wrist. 

They hung, suspended over the lower atmosphere. 

The Marmora blade sliced the metal sheeting. They slid another foot and stopped. Above, the station’s collapsing sections crashed together and exploded. Nothing below them except the planet’s waiting surface, too far down.     

Another dilemma; we get a test of each option. They can’t stay there, and Keith’s attempt to pull Shiro upwards only forces them to slide down further. If Keith were alone – if he let go of Shiro – he probably could pull himself up, and somehow maneuver through the falling wreckage to safety. (We’ve seen him do it in S4E1, when the rigged ship exploded.) When his knife starts to give way, it’s escalating the stakes, because holding onto Shiro will drag Keith down.  

That’s Keith’s final dilemma: he cannot save both Shiro and himself. 

As the most important dilemma of this entire multi-section scene, it gets more time than any other, almost 30 seconds (another three or four paragraphs). I’d take my time with this section, because the more Keith struggles against his final decision, the more power the final moment will have: at least a page and a half, maybe a bit more. (And with consistent reminders of what’s above and below, to keep the stakes high.) 

That’s when we get the flashback. In text, I’d do it as Keith’s internal narration to remind Shiro, and himself, how they met. The nuance I’d be trying to achieve is that at the very ending, Keith thinks back to the beginning. 

It doesn’t need to be a great deal, only a sentence for each snapshot image; a paragraph at most. Maybe a series of single incomplete lines. The key is layering emotions on these descriptions, which in text do the work that visual media does with a close-up on Keith’s eyes halfway through the series of images. 

We then get the last pieces of the station giving way; Keith and Shiro free-fall together. But Keith still hasn’t made a choice, and that decision is what’s required for him to move forward. Emotionally, he’s still at the point of dilemma. 

There’s a moment when he sees Shiro’s face and he looks startled; that’s the emotional pivot that text would need to call out, because that’s when Keith closes his eyes and intentionally remembers. Let the reader do the work of realizing what’s going on here. I’m not sure this example really gets it, but it’s enough that I hope you get the idea.  

Keith’s hair whipped in his face, obscuring his vision, but he wouldn’t let go. They fell, arcing downwards and out of the satellite’s shadow. The nearby white dwarf cast silver-white beams, sweeping up Shiro’s upturned face. The light reached Keith, blinding him. Unbidden, another memory came. 

Keith closed his eyes, remembering. 

Another schoolyard fight, cooling his heels again outside the commander’s office. Shiro’s footsteps approach. Keith braces for the sting of Shiro’s disapproval. 

“Look, I know I messed up.” No point fighting it. “Just send me back to the home already. This place isn’t for me.”

“Keith,” Shiro says, gentle, firm. “You can do this. I will never give up on you.”

The thin air whistled past Keith’s ears. His lungs ached, starved of oxygen. And still Shiro’s voice reverberated across the years, as loud as a heartbeat. 

More importantly, you can’t give up on yourself. 

Keith opened his eyes. 

Don’t just end the scene there; end the chapter. This last bit would probably get a lot of revision to get it just right, but this would be my aim: let the turning of the page give space for the reader to interpret for themselves Keith’s final decision. 

The only unambiguous fact is that Keith’s decided with his eyes open. 

next post: digging into what really got decided in this fight.  

#writing #writing fights #black paladins #vld #voltron #meta