#all my colleagues think I am on a diet and when I say I am NOT they are like “aww you are to shy to tell we understand🥺” | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fuwushiguro · 2 years

Text

They Tell Me That It's Good For Me

Zeke Yeager x f!reader Genre: Smut Notes: It’s hip to be square… Warnings: 18+, dubcon, cheating, violence, murder, mental health issues, vaginal sex. Lmk if I missed any. Words: 4k

Zeke resented his brother, Eren. The brunette being ten years his junior made him wonder who he thinks he is to be telling him what to do. He’s a doctor, and yet Eren seems to think it’s a good idea that he go to therapy? Family therapy, at that. It’s just the two of them sitting in the office on account of their parents being dead. The therapist immediately senses hostility in Zeke. A reluctance to be a part of this ridiculous practice. Eren disagrees, though. His temper around their penthouse recently has been less than pleasurable.

“What does a regular day in the life of Zeke Yeager look like?” the therapist asks. Zeke’s eyes roll so violently, they flutter manically. He adjusts his seating position, pulling up his trousers slightly as he crosses one leg over the other and sinks back into the armchair. He’s a picture of perfect coolness as he rakes his fingers through his hair and thinks about his answer.

A day in the life of Zeke Yeager.

He lives in one of the most expensive properties in the city. The name Zeke Yeager is one of renown and respect. An excellent doctor who studied under his father, Grisha, a title and career he achieved and solidified all before turning twenty-nine. Self-care is very important to Zeke. He likes women, you see, and being in his line of work can be incredibly stressful and taxing on your appearance. He knows every trick and technique to prolong his youth and prevent wrinkles for as long as possible. His morning regime can be gruesome, as if the poor man isn’t tired enough. But it’s all worth it to look how he does.

Not many people see his body under his work uniform, but it’s often a surprise to many when they realise how perfectly sculpted and chiselled he is. Taking care of himself can’t just stop at using specific creams and scrubs on his soft skin to prolong his youth. A balanced diet and exercise play a crucial role in it all, too. The exercise is probably the most irritating part of his morning routine to Eren. For some reason his elder brother insists on playing porno tapes on the TV at full volume while he works out. The sounds of women’s moans incentivise him, apparently. It doesn’t stop it from being irritating, though.

Zeke Yeager is successful in every way that an individual can be. He’s wealthy, he has a good job, good looks that attract enough women to placate his salacious desires. And even a brother who, whilst they annoy each other to the brink of self-detonation, they care for each other.

But it’s not enough for Zeke Yeager. He’s a shell of a man. No matter how much money he has, there’s always someone with more money. Despite him being magnificent at his job, there will always be someone somewhat superior to him. Regardless of which woman he takes to bed, there’s always a man with a sexier woman and a hotter cunt than what he’s going to devour and enjoy.

Zeke Yeager exists, but only barely.

“This was a stupid idea, Eren. I don’t need a shrink, I myself am a doctor, you know.” he talks to his brother in the chair beside his own. Zeke doesn’t get a response, but he notices the therapist begin to scribble down notes in their little book.

“I’d rather you not talk to Eren, Zeke. Focus on me. I’d like you to tell me why you’re here. What has been going on in the last few months?” the therapist speaks. Zeke runs his tongue along his top row of teeth as he contemplates the question. He’d have to ask Eren why they’re here, but now it turns out they aren’t even allowed to speak with each other.

“My life isn’t as interesting as you might think. I work. I go for the occasional drink with colleagues or my brother. I go home and enjoy video tapes and then return them when I’m finished with them.” he explains, prompting the therapist to write down more notes.

“Video tapes. I must say, from what I’ve seen and heard you watch quite a substantial amount of pornography films. Do you think you have a porn addiction?”

“No.”

“No?”

“That’s what I said.”

The therapist takes her time writing his response. It’s quite difficult to make Zeke feel uneasy, but the radio silence for five minutes straight filled with only the sound of a ballpoint scratching on paper fills him with unease. He feels like he’s on trial. Part of him wants to clear his throat, but he doesn’t wish to give the therapist the satisfaction of thinking she’s rattled him. Or worse, she’s won.

“I’d like to know about your sexual history. At what age did you lose your virginity and how frequently do you engage in sexual intercourse?” she asks him. This makes Zeke scoff. It’s not something he cares to divulge with a stranger. He sees Eren scowling at him and shakes his head unimpressed.

“I was seventeen. And I couldn’t say how often, truthfully. I like women, I’d say I have sex more than most.”

“Do you ever pay for it?”

“Is that relevant? I don’t see how that matters.” Zeke answers her question defensively, earning another series of notes appearing on the paper in front of her. “Sometimes I do, yes.” he adds, and she writes it down.

“Outside of sex, what else do you do for fun?”

“I can’t think, right now. I’ve told you a few things, I think we should move on.” he suggests. She smiles, crossing one leg over the other and nodding in agreement. He isn’t sure about therapy; he never has been. The idea of someone getting inside of his mind and trying to unearth secrets and fantasies that he may not even know about himself is terrifying.

“Do you get along with Eren’s fiancé?” she asks. Now Zeke does clear his throat. He unfolds his legs and leans forward in his seat pressing his fingertips against one another as he thinks of how he should answer.

“I don’t think we should discuss this.”

“You have a fiancé, don’t you?” she pushes. Zeke grimaces and nods. This must be why Eren brought him here. He looks over his shoulder in Eren’s direction, and he can barely look at him. He’s been a terrible older brother. So selfish and insufferable. But Zeke has never claimed to be selfless. What Zeke wants, Zeke gets.

“I stole Eren’s fiancé, yes, if we must talk about it then sure. It wasn’t a particularly nice thing to do, but I—” she stops him from saying another word by raising her hand as she writes again. He waits patiently for her to finish so that she can ask another question or wait for him to continue.

“Do you recognise this woman?” she asks as she places a polaroid on the coffee table in front of them. Zeke leans forwards to pick the image up and pushes his glasses further up his nose so he can get a proper look. He shakes his head, placing it back down and pushing it towards her.

“What about this woman? Or this woman? Maybe this one?” she fires off as she places another three images down on the table. He looks at them all intently, once again shaking his head as he pushes them back at her.

“I don’t recognise any of them. What about you, Eren?” he asks his brother, he’s still scowling at them. He thought they were on better terms since he stole you away from him. Apparently not. The therapist clicks her fingers and reminds him not to talk to Eren.

“That’s a shame. I had hoped you could help me, they’re all deceased, you see. Quite grisly murders, actually.” she tells him, not even looking at him as she focuses on her note taking. It scares Zeke to hear. Four women murdered. It’s a scary world to live in. It’s enough to encourage him to light up a cigarette and get comfier in his seat as he digests the information.

“That’s horrible. All the same killer, you think? Or—”

“What do you like to do for fun, Zeke?” the therapist asks him again. His eyes scrunch as he wonders if he heard her right. Haven’t they been over this already? Why does she keep asking?

“I… I enjoy eating. There is a restaurant in the city that is difficult to get on the guest list for, but they usually make an exception for my colleagues and I. That could be considered fun.” he tells her. She doesn’t bother writing it down, which makes him feel like he’s said something boring. Or something wrong entirely.

“I assume you and your fiancé have a considerable amount of sex? How much, would you say?” she queries. Zeke scratches his beard as he thinks about it. He pushes his glasses a little way up his nose, again, before answering.

“Not as much recently. Three times a week, possibly? Work is exhausting. I’d never be off her if I had the choice.” he confesses. That is something she deems necessary to write down. She even pouts as she does, like she’s really concentrating on getting every single word perfect.

“Do you cheat on her? You sometimes pay for prostitutes, have you done that since you became engaged?” she asks him. He looks down, awkwardly, and concentrates on the sounds of his bones cracking as he crushes his knuckles. He sighs, though, preparing to answer yet again.

“Unfortunately I do. I’m not proud of it, it doesn’t mean I love her any less.” he explains, trying his very best to justify himself and his abhorrent behaviour. She’s writing yet again. He notices the way her eyes harshen when she’s writing something particularly juicy, otherwise her brows remain relaxed and her eyes almost appear lifeless.

“What do you do for fun, Zeke?”

“Why do you—? Music, I like listening to music at home. Dancing and a few drinks with the right music on is fun, for me.”

“Those four women were prostitutes.” she announces casually, scribbling some more and not making any form of eye contact as she speaks. Zeke’s jaw hangs low as he comes to realise what might be happening here.

“I feel like you’re accusing me of something.” he tells her. She doesn’t confirm nor deny. She simply keeps her eyes fixated on him as he begins to awkwardly laugh under her intimidating glare.

“Could you tell me about the first time you had sexual intercourse with your fiancé?”

Oh boy, could he. But should he? Would you approve of him diving into the intimate intricacies of your relationship and what you get up to between the sheets? It’ll be fine, he thinks, patient doctor confidentiality is a requirement. He knows that just as well as she does.

Eren had brought you home for the first time to introduce you to his brother. Zeke couldn’t believe how beautiful you were. From head to toe you were a total knockout. How a shit bag like Eren bagged a girl like you, he’ll never know. You spent the evening getting to know more about each other. About their family and their relationship with one another. It was sweet, you thought.

Zeke couldn’t keep his eyes off you, and it didn’t go unnoticed. Eren was the same, you were the only one who realised how intensely the brothers were staring at you. But of course, you didn’t comment on it. Instead, the three of you drank more and more. You drank the least, but it was still enough to feel tipsy.

Eren drank the most and he blacked out completely. Zeke had to carry him from the dining room chair to his bedroom. He landed on the soft mattress and bounced a little when Zeke let him fall from his arms.

“I think you like me, Zeke.” you said. He smirked immediately and you noticed his face go a little red. You stepped a little closer towards him, unable to keep away from his magnetic charm. “Am I… right? To think that.” you questioned. He shook his head, you were perfectly correct.

“I like the idea of bending you over and seeing what you look like stuffed full of me. If that means I like you, sure, I like you. But you’re with my little brother. I’m wondering why you’d ask a question like that when you’re engaged to him. Do you like me, too?”

You stood closer to him, wanting that to answer his question. It does. His hands moved around your neck and then one held the back of your head as he landed his lips on yours. It became heated quite quickly. Both of your hearts racing with adrenaline as you knew Eren could have woken up at any moment. He picked you up and made you wrap your legs around his waist so that he could carry you to his own bedroom.

You were set down and he pushed your body against his floor to ceiling mirror in his room. He dropped to the balls of his feet and then onto his knees, pulling your panties from underneath your skirt and tossing them over his shoulder. He nuzzled his face between your thighs and began to lick at your delicate, petalled flesh. Your little pearl was at his mercy, your hips bucking and stuttering with each suckle and slurp. He looked up at you, face and beard sparkling with pussy juice.

“Turn around, look at yourself.” he demanded. You did, and watched your own body as he began to undress you. He whispered under his breath. Mostly about how beautiful you were. He loved the way your face contorted when he spanked your ass. So, he did it again, and again, and again. “You look gorgeous when you hurt.”

That’s when he decided to soak his cock with your juices. He slid it up and down between your folds to make sure he was wet enough for you to take. He smoothed your hair back so you could both look at your face when he began to tear you apart with his thick cock.

“That’s it. Good girl, how’s the stretch feeling?”

“It— It hurts so good.” you moaned for him. It made him smile cockily. Of course it does. It was just what he wanted to hear.

He loved the way your jaw hung low and eyes were almost fully white as he ploughed into your little cunt. He adored that you didn’t care how fucking loud you were moaning on him, it didn’t bother you that Eren was in the next room. It was euphoric when you began to tighten on him like the little whore you are. You angled your body slightly so that you could face him. Kiss him. He was hitting your sweet spot so perfectly, you scratched down his defined back and earned a cat-like hiss from your soon to be brother in law.

“Fucking bitch, are you gonna cum?” he asked. You nodded like a fool. So damn close. He watched your pretty O face as you hit your peak. It was an inspired idea that he had decided to fuck you in front of the mirror. He doesn’t think he would have been able to examine your reactions and responses as perfectly as he did if he was facing you directly.

He didn’t let you relax as you came down from your high, though. He held your head in place and insisted you look at him as he fills your cunt up with himself. He’s giving you everything he has, the least you can do is admire him as he does so.

“You came in her?” the therapist asks, Zeke nods a little too proudly in front of his sibling. “Interesting.”

“Is it?”

“Did you cum in these four women that you fucked?” she asks him as she spreads the photographs out on the coffee table for a second time. He leans forward and looks at them again. He only shrugs his shoulders, though.

“Maybe. It’s likely. I don’t usually like to pull out or wear protection.” he tells her. She writes that down. Zeke isn’t afraid anymore, he’s starting to get agitated. “How much longer is this session?”

“What do you do for fun, Zeke?”

“Are you aware of how many times you’ve asked me this question?” he answers her question with his own. He pushes his hair back again as he slinks back into his seat. She isn’t done with him, though, he can tell that much by her demeanour.

“That’s not how things ended with your fiancé though, is it? How did it end?”

“Eren here caught us, unsurprisingly.”

“That isn’t what I was referring to. He wouldn’t have caught you if your fiancé wasn’t screaming.”

“Screaming?”

“Screaming, Zeke. Don’t you remember?” he shakes his head at her question. He remembers nothing of the sort. She didn’t scream. He would remember that. Wouldn’t he? He’d remember if she was screaming. “I think you’re confused. Are you confused, Zeke?”

“Very. I wouldn’t make her scream, only in a good way. Why would she be screaming?” he questions. She flips through her notebook and leans her body forward so that Zeke knows she’s reading directly to him.

“She claims the sex was indeed consensual. She instigated it and she enjoyed it until the screaming started. Can’t you remember? Can’t you try and remember why she was screaming?” she talks at him, he shakes his head again. His mind is blank. Is he going insane? “You’ve been referring to her as your fiancé. She’s nothing of the sort. You don’t have sex three times a week, you had sex that one time.”

“No,”

“Yes, Zeke,” she insists as she flips through her notes again. Instead of reading, she had another polaroid image to show him. “Might this jog your memory?” she asks, placing it above the other images.

It’s you. All bloody and cut to ribbons. He can’t believe what he’s seeing. You’re so beautiful but so broken. Who could do this to you?

“Jesus, what happened to her? Can I see her?”

“What do you do for fun, Zeke?”

“Stop asking me that! I want to know what happened to my fiancé! I need to see her!” he raises his voice, momentarily standing from his seat before the therapists scalding glare forces him back into his seat.

“You happened to her. Shall I read her statement to you?” she queries, flipping through her papers until she finds your handwriting. She clears her throat as she prepares to speak. Zeke looks terrified. He doesn’t know you or himself. “We were flirting discretely over dinner. When Eren went to bed it got more intense and I knew I wanted to have sex with him, so we did. We were against the mirror in his bedroom and he performed oral sex on me. He made me look at myself as we had sex and it was pleasant. Until he snapped. I think the change happened when I scratched his back. He started calling me names and he became rougher with me. As he began to climax, he pushed my head against the mirror and told me that I need to see how a whore takes his cum. He didn’t stop pushing and that’s when I started screaming. He pushed so hard that the glass broke, shards entering and slicing the skin on my face. That’s when Eren came in.”

She finishes speaking and looks at Zeke incredulously. He doesn’t know what to say. He can’t believe you would tell such a vicious lie. Are you trying to ruin him to save your reputation? You’re his fiancé now, why would you do such a thing?

“I wouldn’t— I would not do that.”

“What do you like to do for fun?”

“Are you listening to me? I did not fucking hurt that girl, I love her. We’re happy.” Zeke expressed pathetically. It was obvious to him that she wasn’t buying it, though. But who was she going to believe? Women stick together in times like these.

“What happened between you and Eren when he found the two of you?”

“We argued but, everything is fine now, right Eren?” Zeke asks his brother. He simply shakes his head, remaining completely silent as he does. “I don’t— I don’t understand what is happening.”

“Are you sure you don’t remember what you did to her? Or if you slept with these prostitutes?” she goads him, but he shakes his head in utter refusal. When will this end? “You aren’t yourself right now, Zeke.”

“Fuck you.” he spits at her. She only smiles.

“Do you remember hurting your brother?”

“Aren’t therapists supposed to help people? Are you trying to make me lose my mind?”

“He came in to see what all of the ruckus was about when his fiancé was screaming. You picked up a huge shard of mirror glass and pinned him to the armchair and stabbed him again and again. You don’t remember killing your brother?” she explains. He scoffs at that.

“Eren isn’t dead, he’s right here. Are you stupid?”

“Zeke, tell me what you like doing for fun.”

“No! What the fuck is the matter with you? You’re making up lies about my fiancé and my brother.”

“This girl here was stabbed. This one was chased and murdered with a chainsaw. This one was shot. This one was strangled. And you were the last person to see them all alive, after paying them for sex.”

“I don’t care about them. I care about why the fuck you just told me my brother is dead.” he barks. She shakes her head and stares at him.

“You tried to kill Eren’s fiancé. She managed to get away and call the police. But it was too late for Eren, he’s dead.” she tells him yet again. He almost growls at her answer, unable to believe she’s still speaking so cruelly to him and his brother.

“Are you blind? He’s here. He’s literally right fucking h—” Zeke has to pause as he turns to face his brother one final time. He isn’t sitting beside him pulling sarcastic faces and refusing to speak. He isn’t disgusted with him after the therapist had dredged up their past and betrayals.

No.

Eren is dead. He is right next to Zeke, but he is dead. His head drooping backwards over the back of the arm chair with dozens of stab wounds in his neck and even more on his shoulders and down to his stomach. The large mirror shard is still lodged in his younger siblings’ neck. His head moves rigidly so he can face the therapist. He looks down at the coffee one final time. He remembers you. You only met one time and he fucked you stupid. He remembers smashing your head into the mirror. He remembers how badly he needed you and how tight you were around his cock. He’s even starting to remember the prostitutes. At this point, he’s crying. Not because he’s sad, he’s laughing maniacally. It’s all coming back.

Fuck.

Every single thing is coming back to him, now.

“What do you like to do for fun, Zeke?” she asks, one final time. He manages to still his laughter as he wipes away his tears. He has an answer for her now. He finally has an answer he thinks she’s going to like.

“I like killing people,” he laughs softly, smoking a cigarette he lights up. A cigarette he feels may be his final one for a long time. “I like killing people, for fun.”

#zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeager #zeke yeager x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #aot x reader #snk x reader #aot smut #attack on titan smut #zeke x you #zeke x reader #tw cheating #tw violence #tw dubcon #tw murder

436 notes · View notes

rudjedet · 11 months

Note

Oh hey! Another anosmic! So rare to see. I'll admit, I can smell now, but I was definitely born without the ability to do so.

My parents didn't notice it until I was 5 and I couldn't smell Vick's VapoRub, but they quickly found me like, the only anosmia clinic in the country and the first in the world, Dr. Henkin's Taste and Smell Clinic. It was and is unlike any clinic I've been to. They had rows of brown glass bottles of (probably) pungent liquids, they would collect saliva from you using name-brand lemon juice, you would get your blood drawn monthly in the doctor's own office, a little closet-sized room stacked floor to ceiling with binders. (Maybe this description is just showing how privileged i am) Anyway he treated me with an athsma medicine for 3-4 years and it indeed worked.

The first thing I smelled was my mom's minty breath after she brushed her teeth. Not having any frame of reference, I called it stinky lol

I've found smell to be a very valuable sense, and I'm eternally grateful to Henkin and his colleagues. When I was maybe 10 I was camping with my father and my sister, and me and my sister were in a tent together with a space heater. Had I not smelled the space heater burning my sister's blanket, we both could have been seriously burned.

About your question, I've never noticed distinctly different smells coming from anyone I know. Sweat smells the same on everybody, farts can smell a little different based on diet, same goes for mouth smell, we all sort of smell the same. The closest I can think of to "people's scents smell different" is people mistaking the idea of cologne or perfume for something like animal musk, which it Is Not.

But then again I do have those anonymized MRIs floating around the clinic's website, so maybe my sense of smell isn't exactly normal lmao

Oh that's cool! Based on all the responses, whether or not you can smell other people (and even whether sugar granulate has a scent) seems to be highly dependent on a ton of factors. Perfume and other hygiene products is one thing, but there's definitely people saying they can recognise certain people under certain circumstances based on their scent.

Most of you weren't around for this, but during my second pregnancy I suddenly started being able to smell (and this was the thing that made me side eye my uterus because I hadn't done a pregnancy test at that point yet). The first whiff of something I caught was the window cleaner I was using at work. It smelled vaguely sweet, and it was such a weird experience. The next morning I visited bestie and we tore open her spices cabinet just shoving anything and everything into my nostrils. I could mostly get the pungent stuff like paprika and dried ginger. Two weeks later we were out for ramen and that's when I recognised my first smell without knowing what it was beforehand (the ginger in the gyoza).

I lost that baby and the smelling went away again, but for my last pregnancy the same thing happened. Unfortunately what also happened is that I ended up with pregnancy rhinitis and hay fever (hubs has hay fever and our kiddo does too, so throughout pregnancy I was suffering thanks to his overly excited immune system copying onto baby), so there wasn't much smelling going on during the pregnancy itself. It did persist for about 6 months post-partum, and I did find out that if I keep my dust allergy under control with antihistamines, I can sort of smell again once my ovulation rolls around.

Interestingly and opposite you, my immediate response to any scent is "oh wow that's nice!", I guess just because I can even smell it lmao. But once I get used to them, there's room for nuance. My favourite scents are ginger, properly aged cheese, and my daughter. I will say I once walked into a group of old humans (choir practice, lmao) and... didn't like it, it was this uncomfortable wall of something undefinable. Dirty diapers are ... oddly minty? I wouldn't classify it as a "stink" but it's a scent that definitely lingers.

The thing with human personal scents and why I operated on the notion that all humans in general would be able to recognise someone based on scent is part having smelled my own kid before and hearing a lot of mums say they love the scents of their children, part knowing that perfume does tend to travel across larger distances, part being told that I have a pretty present personal scent, part being autistic and having overactive other senses and thus thinking "well scent would be the same then wouldn't it", and part just... not having any direct experience with it lmao. As with everything scent-related everyone's replies have all been extremely elucidating, just like the time I ended up hyperfocussing on perfumes.

#me soaking this up like a sponge and utilising it in my writing

31 notes · View notes

atashinokaishaku · 2 years

Text

Trial AU: "TDRKvTDRK" / The people v Endeavour

Either for a post-war trial of the people v Endeavour or to determine if Rei is able to live unsupervised or if she's a fit guardian to Shouto. They would need to determine if there was abuse towards her and/or the kids in either case.

-Endeavour's argument during his testimony being "it was training", "in order to become nro1 hero/what he was meant(created) to be" and some people siding with him since "he's perfect to become a hero, it'd be a waste of talent otherwise, of his quirk, his fast judgement, his training, the kid should just keep going!"

-And Shouto's lawyer response being "so that means it's ok to raise all kids with strong quirks to be heroes? (some Hawks parallels)" "Train them as soon as we find out! Take them from their childhood and family and instead of a kindergarten send them to a hero factory!" "Because as long as they become perfect heroes it doesn't matter if they are kids." and they get close and holds Endeshit's eyes "Isn't that right, Endevour-san?"Reminds me of Snowpiercer "As long as it's beneficial to our society the sacrifices don't matter" kind of mentality.

-Imagine the media asking heroes what they think about the allegations. And Hawks smile suddenly turning serious and answering with hints about this being covered up for years without explicitly saying it.

And Endeshit's sidekicks being all "as long as Endeshit does the work perfectly it's not our business" Most heroes opting for a "no comment". Some reflect on their colleagues and how they view them until now. Others are aware this wasn't the first case and are sure won't be the last no matter the outcome. WWP coming out regretting not having being able to realise despite being in charge on people's safety "80% of our rescues are kids, be it from disasters, accidents or domestic calls involving villains". "Kids are strong, most time, the adults are the ones that need more reassurance from us, when kids see a hero they immediately feel rescued, safe, they follow our instructions as soon as they call down" "We heroes are supposed to inspire that feeling, our presence should evoque safety even before starting the actual rescue" "For a kid to not only see their father as danger, but a hero, the Nro1 Hero as a threat to that safety... is something that will not only destroy everything we have worked on as Pro Heroes but will came up every time we see a kid light up when we arrive in their rescue"

-Then Shouto's testimony; being asked about his routine, his training, diet, education, his relationships with his friends, with his mother and how he saw her, with his siblings. By his lawyer and then by Endeavour's lawyer. "How was your relationship with your siblings?"; "Non-existent" "What's the closest you remember being to them" "I saw them once" "they were playing with a ball on the yard, I was being dragged to training" "Touya-nii fell and Natsuo-nii was laughing at him, Fuyumi-nee and the housemaid were worried" "I asked Fa-Endevour to join them but he say no" "Did he say why?" "Objection hearsay!" "Denied" "Did Mr.Endevour say why?" Not looking up, in a soft voice he repeated mechanically "They are failures, don't get close to them" -Can you describe what happened that night?"

“Until recently I'd only remember her crying, her words at her breaking point" "...then I started remembering her words, her reassurance "It's ok to become who you want to become"

and then they get to the scar incident, which at this point everyone was speculating was Endeavour's training fault, another cover-up. And then the defendant lawyer starts "it was your own mother who hurt you wasn't it?" and Shouto is visibly mad "she is the one who burnt your face, am I wrong?" "and that's the only burn scar you have isn't it?" and Shouto glaring "that's the only scar with medical records, since an ambulance was called" and either then or on redirect Shouto's feed up and determinated "where's my scar?"

"She was talking on the phone about needing to leave, she was asking her mother for help, in the middle of the night, in desperate whispers, and then, as soon as she turned she saw red peeking from the door" "the terror on her face as she grabbed that boiling water while her her whole body was shaking its marred deeper into me than any scar" Shouto shifting his eyes from the lawyer to Endevour "And of that, he is responsible."

aaaand tw going nuts cause Shouto is saying an abused mother was so on the edge she saw red hair and blue eyes and reacted in fear, thinking her 6yo son was her abusive husband. #wheresmyscar is trending Bakugo

Imagine if Endeshit trial happened when they grew up (which would happen if it was Shouto who wanted to press charges since he'd need to be over 20yo, to testify tho there's no age restrictions I think) Class 1-A are already pro heroes and Bkg goes in as a witness to "needlessly" prove the point that "Shouto is a victim". Cause the other lawyers would be like "Pro Hero Shouto, best grades, best results, best hero, where's the flaw? What was the consequence of this alleged "abuse"? being the best? My client was the best and trained the best hero, and it shows!" And then Bkg goes into detail on how being "classmates" with Sho allowed him to be the expert in identifying abuse victims he is today

"and also" Bkg ending his speech "Endeshit wasn't the best, All Might is, he just turned up to be the asshole who abused the kid who would end up being the best on his own, and he shouldn't get too comfortable just cause I spend a few months in USA, I'll be taking that title soon" and then when sho's on the stand he's asked about what he thought about Bkg's testimony "it's weird how he still doesn't notice we are friends even when he sees everything else" Shouto's lawyer

Imagine their protectiveness towards a child, a 15yo who had given up on justice but is willing to make this step regardless. They'd be so fucking honored to be in charge of this case but under so much pressure, not only cause it's The Trial of the current Nro1 hero that'd change all their society's views on Pro Heroes, but because of his client, this kid's trust in them is the biggest and heaviest responsability they've ever carried, and they will make sure to get them justice and hope.I need their first time meeting Shouto and their first impressions, the revelation of how big this case is, Aizawa being the one briefing them before being introduced to Shouto.

Endeshit

Endeavor would be combative and deny everything; corruption, propaganda, Endeavor’s side trying to depict Shouto as an exaggerating rebellious teen, a liar, using the Sport Festival as an example "he just wanted to make his father mad! a victim wouldn't take that risk!" totally not taking into account that Shouto wouldn't consider making Endeavour mad a risk but just part of his daily life, especially since there's no one else who would get hurt as collateral damage, and he's used to being hurt.

All Might testifying, recounting his meeting with Endeshit at the Sports Festival and his regret on not seeing it sooner, his failure. -I need corruption, old and new cover-ups attempts, hero&villains propaganda, paparazzi following Shouto and his siblings, reporters surrounding Rei's hospital freaking Shouto out when they try to barge into her room and making him question if all this was worth it.

-I need jury reactions, a judge that controls both sides and is polite, Shouto's lawyer feeling this case close, Endeavour's lawyers being at the top of the chain and having a reputation.

-I need the public response, on the news, on twitter/blogs, paparazzi.

And the news portraying Shouto "not being social" "unfriendly and giving off an arrogant vibe" "expressionless and impossible to read". Mainstream media covering it while being biased, hyperfocusing on the heroes v villains implications. While tw/blogs/yt being like "how tf are they so blind" while analysing Shouto's and Endeavour's answers and behaviours.

-I need doctors' and/or nurses' recits and secret notes.

And the maid who used to take care of the Todoroki children, and had stopped making their meals because of a back injury, being a surprise witness.

#basically #I need a +100k Gen shouto-centric fic #there's a bonus on the making but it turned into a character study so I need to tidy it up #if anyone writes a trial au please let me know I need to read this so bad ;w;#todoroki shouto #enji todoroki #bakugou katsuki #aizawa shouta #takami keigo #bnha manga #rei todoroki #hawks bnha #bnha #BNHA au #bnha prompts #I can't write cause idk what plot is

23 notes · View notes

daddysprincess-things · 9 months

Text

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Yes yes yes

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? No

3. Have you taken someones virginity? Yes

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Meh

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yessss

6. What are you excited for? i’m goin away this weekend and i am exciteddddd

7. What happened tonight? it’s morning silly

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?nahhh girls can do whatever they want to

9. Is confidence cute? mostly but I hateeeee cockiness

10. What is the last beverage you had? smoothie

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? a handful, maybe 3? Idk boys are so dumb

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? No

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? get ready for my trip

14. What are you going to spend money on next? buying pretty things on my trip 🎀🥰🛍️

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? hopefullyyyyyy

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? mommy

18. The last time you felt broken? few months ago

19. Have you had sex today? no 🙄 kinda silly that I haven’t

20. Are you starting to realize anything? some things but then I get headaches because the thoughts are so big for my head

21. Are you in a good mood? I’m in an excellent mood today

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? No!

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?no my eyes are orange and his are blue

24. What do you want right this second? sex I’m so horny

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I don’t know but it’s unfair :(

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?well no? I was born blonde but it turned brown and now it’s dyed blonde so nope

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No mommy/daddy has to be funny

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? situation at my job yesterday has me crying tears of laughter so that was cuteee 😋🥲

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? yes

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? everyone deserves opportunities for understanding. whether or not they deserve a second chance is relative

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? not hate he just wasn’t enough for me

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? I think she’s does but it’s very cat and mouse

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? I drink Diet Coke allllll day longg but she won’t let me drink it around her because she says it’s so bad for me

34. Listening to? Taylor and Lana always and recently a lot of Renee Rapp

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Not unless it’s colouring pencils

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?yeah

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? that’s tricky

38. Who did you last call? mommy

39. Who was the last person you danced with? my work colleagues

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because I loved them

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? yesterday

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?nope

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? All the time in school

44. Do you tan in the nude? Usually with some kind of bikini on

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?no

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No I was watching rocky horror 😃

47. Who was the last person to call you?mommy

48. Do you sing in the shower?alwyas

49. Do you dance in the car?always

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes actually

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? A few months ago? For my job

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? No I LUV THEM

53. Is Christmas stressful? No

54. Ever eat a pierogi? No?

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher or actress

57. Do you believe in ghosts? little bit

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? always

59. Take a vitamin daily? yeah 3

60. Wear slippers? no

61. Wear a bath robe? no

62. What do you wear to bed? usually a pretty slip or just an short and underwear

63. First concert? taylor swift

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? I’m British

65. Nike or Adidas? Nike

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? All of it. (Anything off evermore, midnight rain, cowboy like me)

69. Ever take dance lessons? my whole childhood

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?makjng moneyyyu

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yeah

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Yeah actually

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Always

74. What is your favorite book? Currently the secret history by Donna tartt but overall, Gatsby

75. Do you study better with or without music? With some kind of instrumental or lofi or white noise

76. Regularly burn incense? yeah? couple times a week maybe

77. Ever been in love? Yeah

78. Who would you like to see in concert? wanna see Taylor again seen Harry Lana gaga…. Seeing Maisie soon Maybe Chappell roan is next on my list? And Gracie? And also Melanie Martinez? OH Ariana!!

79. What was the last concert you saw?lana del rey in hyde park

80. Hot tea or cold tea? I don’t drink tea but when I do hot

81. Tea or coffee? Coffee but mommy won’t let me drink it around her so I’ve been drinking a bit more tea

82. Favorite type of cookie? White chocolate and raspberry

83. Can you swim well? I can swim i just don’tlike it

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yeah

85. Are you patient? apparently very

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Band

87. Ever won a contest? A few

88. Ever have plastic surgery? No

89. Which are better black or green olives? Green

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?fuck it give it all to me now

91. Best room for a fireplace? living room/lounge

92. Do you want to get married? yeah

0 notes

bryan-damage · 1 year

Text

I studied acting in college and I really enjoy it. It wasn't something that was especially practical in the sense of finding work (acting almost never pays in my region) but I needed to get through college and doing something I was passionate about was pretty much the only thing that was going to get me a college degree.

Unfortunately, when people know you can act, they start to assume that you're "faking" an awful lot. This is especially bad when you are also mentally ill and you need people to believe you because otherwise you are going to really struggle to find anything even resembling help.

There are lots of celebrity actors who have mental health problems. It's surprisingly common for actors to struggle with mental illness, even in the amateur circles. (I should note that I am not implying that celebrities who do horrible things should be given a pass. Mental illness is not your fault but it is your responsibility.)

I suspect that what happens is that you've got a person who has these massive emotions constantly bubbling under the surface, and it takes effort to keep them down day after day. And so if you're an actor, you can actually use that to improve your performances because being able to throw yourself into a scene where you need to have an angry outburst or break down in tears is easier for you, because all you have to do is let the proverbial valve open up and there they are, ready to come bursting out at a moment's notice.

It's kind of like how someone with serious digestive issues will have an easier time farting on command than someone with a healthy diet. There's always one brewing in the chamber, you know.

But the thing is, the reason those "fake" performances look real is because they are very much real. You really do feel the extreme emotions that your character feels because those emotions are always there, always just below the surface. The lines are pre-written and your performance is always carefully blocked and rehearsed but the actual emotions are REAL. And you seriously can't help it, if something is happening that drives your character to tears, it will also drive you to tears whether you want it to or not. You don't fake-cry, you imagine yourself in the situation and then real-cry.

I mean, I think a large part of the reason I decided to study acting in the first place is because I wanted to know how to fake being fine. I wanted to go out and interact with other people and have friendships and colleagues without scaring people away, and the study of acting helped with that. It also helped me develop basic social skills because a lot of script analysis deals with studying human interactions (I had extremely poor social skills growing up and I knew it.)

And on that subject: I met Margot Kidder once at a convention. She gave a speech that was sort of half-speech, half-Q&A. If you aren't familiar with her, she was an A-list actor back in the 70s and early 80s who had a massive psychotic break in the early 90s that destroyed her career. She didn't hurt anyone but she did end up pulling out her teeth and hair and, yeah, it was really bad. She retired and moved to Montana, which is where she lived at the time I met her.

She was absolutely lovely, if I'm being honest. She told us stories about working with Christopher Reeve in the Superman movies, and she talked about some personal stuff like how she adapted to getting older, and yeah, she was very nice.

She talked about being involved in local politics during her speech, something that she seemed very passionate about, and when she was done, someone in the audience yelled "You should run for office!" She said "I can't, I had a breakdown in public." A couple of people persisted, saying "That doesn't matter," but she was very quiet and it was clear that she was suddenly very humiliated. I felt so bad for her, I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling those people to shut the fuck up.

Sometimes I think back to that early episode of Family Guy where they decided to mock her breakdown for really no reason at all and I think, Holy shit, that joke was really fucking mean. I know she was a celebrity but she was still human, and tearing someone down for having mental health problems, especially when, as I said, she didn't hurt anyone, is just pointlessly cruel. Talk about punching down.

#bryan damage #acting #theatre #margot kidder #mental illness

1 note · View note

victoriazielonka · 1 year

Text

CAS Project: Update 1 (Investigation)

Since CAS Project requires a dedication to action I could not think of anything else but connecting it to my all-time favourite branch - Service. Young patients of Children Medical University Hospital in Warsaw are always full of energy and joy within themselves and so my best friend Weronika and I decided to base our project on what we noticed the patients had been enjoying most so far!

I remember introducing my friend Weronika to the foundation and its principles at the beginning of this school year, and now we decided to put our knowledge about the preferences of the kids here at the hospital to use. In September I made sure to tell her about our favourite activities with children such as Uno Cards competitions and Dobble which never fails to entertain those sweet patients. Although the Uno Cards competitions and Dobble are great fun I thought of going a step further. There are a lot of times when kids want to make something, either for us or their parents or colleagues, so why not engage with them in something physically lasting, while teaching them additional skill and learning it ourselves in the process.

I must say I got inspired by the idea from one of my patients, sweet Karolinka, whom I had the pleasure to spend some time with 2 months ago. She was a super fan, to say the least, of Loom Bands. Loom Bands bracelets were something that bonded us even stronger because of the fact that I was also their big fan when I was her age. Even though I am not much older than her, just 7 years, it was surprising to see her interested in the same activity at the same age since so much changed through the last 7 years!

Of course, I had other ideas, such as movie nights with snacks, but since it's hospital and patients' diets vary from one to another, we have decided, Weronika and I, to stick with making bracelets. It involves our creativity and service to the hospital, but it feels like pure joy. Can't wait to present our idea to our supervisors at RMHC and get to making some bracelets with the children! We need to learn priorly how to do them ourselves!

0 notes

thedrakesteelforge · 2 years

Text

Am I my authentic self?

Short answer - No

Long answer - ...

The long answer would require a lot of retrospection, inward thought, and maybe some intensive therapy to help break down my actions, past and present. Although, even without all of that, I'm sure I have an idea of how I am not my authentic self.

First, our past experiences, choices, and interests are the building blocks of who we are, and our authentic self would be who we truly are as a person, regardless of the influence of others, it is an honest representation of you.

Maybe the title of this post should be "how to be your authentic self" but honestly, I don't know how to answer that. I'm just going to write a few things I have noticed about myself that I wish I dared to change.

I hate external conflict

I seem pretty firm on keeping my opinion on specific topics to myself. whether it's related to family matters or a colleague asking a simple question, I seem to give either a heavily edited version of my own beliefs on the topic or I'll just agree with them for the most part.

I don't like betraying my beliefs but most of the time I can't be bothered to justify my opinions on things to people I don't care about. Sometimes the environment doesn't fit the conversation or the person seems hostile to that way of thinking.

an example would be - A person that constantly comments on their weight. They frequently state they will watch their diet, but never seem to change a thing but they noticeably eat too much. They say they look after themselves but think it's ridiculous when a medical professional tells them their hearing is deteriorating but says "How, would they know, there is nothing wrong with me"... I get to the point I know what the answer to my opinion will be so I keep it to myself.

A different example would be, A workplace colleague that is vocal about their political opinions and will frequently use buzzwords that are bullshit. I could speak out about this and insert my own opinion about these things. but I just can't be bothered to deal with it. I know I shouldn't betray my beliefs but sometimes just nodding a long while internally disagreeing is the most optimal solution.

I think in this day and age where your image and personal identity is paramount, it is very hard to be our authentic selves. Unless you are either, untouchable or incredibly fickle, then your authentic self will offend someone. For those who don't like hurting others or don't like the conflict, it's tough.

The only way to be my authentic self is to become a monster. Dye me with my colours, voice my own opinions, and share my passions. Be me and don't apologies for it. At the end of the day, the people around me see me less than I see myself. I can't keep questioning and censoring myself for the sake of those around me.

I'm not their parent, and I'm certainly not their therapist.

I need to be me.

0 notes

regretsofalifeandlovelost · 2 years

Text

hard truths are hard to hear

Jealousy and envy are to emotions that creep into my life. As I look around at other relationships and particularly what my sister has and compare it see increasingly large obstacles in my relationship. My personal introspection has revealed that I am so much more in tune with my emotions, my sexuality, for the first time in my life I can look at myself in the mirror naked and feel pride. I've started to learn more about myself spiritually, mentally and most importantly sexually. My self esteem is at an all time high and people all around me are noticing the glow, changes and making positive comments. The feedback from others alone is a huge motivator.

The problem is that I realise that the obstacles my partner and I need to overcome might be too great. We have been seeing relationship councilors, sexual therapists, we each go to our own psychologist and psychiatrists. I often sit and wonder what he discusses with them and how that compares to what I discuss with mine. I wonder if he's actually even into me or we are into a relationship of convenience. I speak with my therapists about his premature ejaculation and I come to realise that I wonder if he's actually interested in fixing the problem and if he's actually really trying to work on it. It seems that two years of treatments should have been showing some signs of success. The changes in our diet have not improved his taste or smell, even though he's circumcised he has a smell and taste that is really off putting, even the other people we hare swapped with have said so. His cum tastes and smells terrible too. We are going to start some new ideas regarding diet and lifestyle to see if that helps, but we seem to keep putting it off.

A large group of couples go to dinner for a mutual friends 45th birthday, I notice that I am the only person who's partner doesn't assist them with their coat, chair, bags or anything. It seems that our relationship is very singular in so many ways. I wonder to myself if it has always been that way or is it something that has slowly happened over time. I remember talking with my sisters husband when he asked me why I hate him so much, I recall him telling me that I was a complete bitch and pushed everyone away. I wonder if I did the same to my partner and then it comes flooding back. Our relationship was so toxic for so long, we couldn't go anywhere without arguing and fighting. I know that he wasn't getting shown the affection that he needed for years. I wonder to myself why he didn't break off our relationship. I make a note to discuss this further with my therapists the following week. At the dinner I am sitting next to a couple that I do not really know, Sarah and Jon, Sarah is a work colleague of the person who's birthday it is. After a nervous start the conversation starts to flow more easily, I am sure a glass of wine helped. LoL. I find it interesting to hear about other people's lives and think about what I have, what I don't have, what's great and what's not so great. I get the feeling that Sarah's not judgemental and is a good listener. From dinner we head to drinks and from there Sarah and I decide that we want to go dancing. The others all decide to head home. The only club that I know and like the feel of is the one that I had such a great night at before all the stress.

Excitedly we arrive and leave our jackets at the cloak room, it's still fairly early in the night and I remember why I never wear heals clubbing, my feed are aching so quickly but I push through it. I see my sisters husbands friend arrive and go to say hello.. I ask if he knows where we can get some treats. He tells me someone is coming soon and that when they arrive he will find me. Dancing with Sarah is awesome, it feels like we have been friends for years when we have only met briefly a few times before and only really got to know each other tonight. I realise that for a mother of 3 in her 40's she's really kept her body in good shape and she's a natural with her dance skills. We are having a blast, I am unsure if when the treats arrive she's going to be interested or not. We hadn't got to that conversation yet. As we have a low point in the music I ask her if we should try and get some treats, she looks at me for a moment with a funny look and my heart sinks, then she asks what I am thinking about. I tell her and she smiles and says she would love to have it, have not had it in "like 20 years". As the music starts to pick back up again I get the tap on my shoulder, the guys there smiling and we do the exchange. Sarah is quick to double dump, I only take half, I plan to take the other half and then the next one in a half hour then maybe an hour after that finish. We continue dancing and within about half an hour I can see she's on her way up up up and away. I decide to take the rest of mine as I feel like I am missing out. As I return with a bottle of water I see my sister and her husband with Sarah. I come over and say that I am surprised to see them. They said they were watching human traffic the movie and got all excited to get out and dance… I could feel the goodies starting to come on and was really in the mood to dance and chat.. I couldn't sit still and was feeling amazing.

As I am dancing I see a guy who I recognise but can't figure out where from. It feels crazy like I know the person but I can't seem to place who or where from. I mention it to my sister and she looks at the guy and says it looks like an older version of my first serious boyfriend. I look back and it all clicks. My mind nearly explodes, he's gone from being what I thought was attractive to aging terribly. I go over and say hi, he introduces me to his girlfriend and he tells her that we used to date. She said some rude remark about "is this the star fish one", although it was hard to hear in the loud music. He laughed and said yes. Shocked and not sure what to say I move on and dance, but the thought keeps circling in my mind as I dance. Later I head to the bathroom and see her in there, when I ask her what she said. She tells me that her boyfriend told her that his excuse for being crap in bed was that he's never had an interactive partner. I tell her, while it's true I wasn't interactive, it's also true that he's shit in bed and it will take a miracle to change him. She laughs and agrees, I tell her that its in his ball court to take an interest and figure out what works, what doesn't. It shocks me that I am giving someone advice about sex. It occurs to me that this is the first time I have ever done that. We leave the ladies and head out and she joins our group dancing.

Needing a break I go looking for a place where I can take a seat for a while, I see my sister and her husband sitting with another guy with a table in the chill area. I go to the bar to get some coke and a bottle of water before joining them. I sit down and introduce myself to the guy I don't really know.. Yosef is an fuck buddy my sister has, i don't recall the name but It clicks when its mentioned 'the Israeli guy'. They hook up when he's in Sydney. He looks seriously fit with a toned olive complexion. I get a mental image of my pale Scottish sister with the toned Olive skinned guy and think of white and brown chocolate, I laugh to myself. We all chat for about 30 minutes before Yosef and my sister excuse themselves to head off. As soon as they had left I feel my leg rub up against her husbands leg. Then I lean over to kiss him. We passionately kiss before being interrupted by Sarah. She's obviously shocked and asks about being married. I tell her about the plot and how it works. She's completely shocked and repeats how she can't understand how that can work in most relationships. She returns to the dance floor. I ask him if he knows anywhere we can go, I feel almost guilty asking that but feel that I need to. He picks up his phone and sends some messages.. we grab our things and head to the dance floor, we dance and I feel myself trying to dance sexily for him, it feels so awkward and not natural. I feel like I am trying too hard and by the look on his face it seems to be making him feel uncomfortable. Sarah tells me that I look stupid and I stop feeling very embarrassed. I get flash backs to seeing people in the clubs being awkward as a youngster and cringe thinking that if I looked even half as bad as that I needed to shoot myself lol.

Some time later I get a tap and told that we have somewhere to go, I tell Sarah that we are leaving and she wishes us well. I tell her that she needs to message me when she leaves and when she gets home so that i know she's safe, she says she will be fine. We get our stuff from the cloak room and head off, walking around alleys, streets all over the place until we arrive at a terrace. He puts in a pin number on a pin pad and the door opens, we enter an immaculately decorated terrace that is obviously only top shelf designer goods. It makes me feel poor just being in this space. He tells me that it's his mates place who's always traveling for work. We head up stairs, then up another stairs onto a roof top terrace. It's got a glass outside area with a roof top jacuzzi and a beautiful open plan bedroom. He fills the jacuzzi and turns it on, he said we needed to wait for it to warm up properly. I am so high at this point, I feel so loved up and horny. Sitting on the side of the bed I lift my leg up to reveal my underwear, I tell him to remove it and eat my pussy as I let my head slump back onto the bed. I feel him remove my underwear and then his lips kissing down my legs to my crotch, around my pussy and then up my belly above my clothes, across my breasts and up to my neck.. my ear lobes.. oh fuck its tickley, then we passionately kiss.. it still surprises me how great a kisser he is. It's funny Jo and others have all said that same thing. It's a gift. He then repeats the process down, this time he rips the shoulder strap of my dress, pulling it down to reveal my nipples, slowly kissing around it, tickling it with his lip before moving down to my pussy.. He massages around the outside in such a sensual way, Its so arousing just on its own before his tongue starts working my clitoris, then his fingers.. my toes curl with the intensity.. He's going down there, teasing me to near climax several times before changing it up and keeping me in suspense, I tell him to get on with it already.. he tells me no.. he tells me he's going to tease, string me along for hours just to be evil. I glance at the clock it's almost 1am. He continues to tease me for another 30 minutes, getting me to the edge of climax and then stopping. He lifts me up, removes my clothes and gently puts me in the jacuzzi. He then removes his clothes and slides in next to me. As he steps into the bath I comment how hot his cock looks, he smiles. I go on to comment about the circumcision, he says that he's so happy that my sister got him circumcised, he said he LOVES the new look and says it's so much better. We compare notes on dicks and circumcision, we talk about sex and stimulation, its one of the best conversations I've ever had with anyone on the topic. There are no questions topics that are off or forbidden. I feel liberated. The conversation moves onto why sex parties, he tells me that it started because we (my sister and him) wanted to learn more ways to please each other, so they started to go watch others fuck each other and see what worked, what didn't. He asks me more about how I got into it and tell him about nudity, he said he knew some of the history but it was interesting to hear the full story.

I've started playing with his cock under the water, its so nice and smooth, the skin is so tight along the shaft, his head so nice and exposed. It always surprises me that he has no dry skin on his head, its always silky smooth and nice. I ask him why, he tells me his diet, he looks after it and thinks that most of the guys with really dried out cocks are probably eating poorly or generally unhealthy. I could appreciate that, my partners head is very dry and his tastes horrid. I ask him about his other partners before my sister and he talks about them. I ask him about blow jobs and cum, he tells me that he's had multiple women say that his cum tastes sweet and it's unusually nice. I tell him that it's true, we start talking about my partner and our relationship. He's surprised and not surprised. He points out that I did everything I could to push him away for years and that he kept coming back for more. I've now moved my pussy near one of the water jets for some extra stimulation, moving myself closer and further away to balance the stimulation while I play with his cock and chat. The sensation of the high flow water jets is incredible, its all engulfing and so much more intense than a shower head. I quickly realise that I am about to cum and pull myself away. I ask him about the differences between my sister and I sexually. He looks shocked that I've asked. He asks me if I really want to know, Inside I am feeling very competitive with my sister, we had always had some level of competition but this was the first area where I felt I was starting to be competitive with her. I reiterated that I wanted to know, he tells me that it could hurt my feelings. I tell him I still need to know, I said I need constructive feedback.

He goes on to tell me that I am awkward sexually, he tells me that it comes across like I am uncoordinated and uncomfortable to try and do new things, to try and say no.. this is what I want. He said I am like a broken submissive that doesn't know how to be submissive or what works for them. He said that's why he needs to take control, he said my body and sexual awareness has improved, but it's not natural, I still need to think about it and I told verbalise or say no, this is what I want, or no that doesn't work for me, I want this. As he says all of this it completely makes sense, but at the same time it hurts because I felt that I had come such a long way. He then starts to tell me what's good and how I could improve. He tells me that I need to be assertive in the bedroom with my partner and not just a star fish. The second time someone had mentioned that in one night. I feel sad. He tells me that all of the improvements I've made are paying dividends but it's going to take years of constant work to transform and know all the things about your own body, its not like they knew what they know today when they started to date. It's taken them 20+ years. I feel much better about it, I slide myself across to him and kiss, for some reason this kiss feels more amazing than ever. It feels like his mouth has connected with my whole body.

From there we go to fuck like we had never fucked before, I make a conscious decision to try and be more assertive. He gives me feedback and advice, after we had both cum we are laying on the bed and he goes to fetch a hand mirror from the bathroom. He goes down and shows me my pussy in the mirror. He tells me that I need to learn about all the zones and what works. He then shows me like an instructor genius all of these areas.. I had knowledge of the two obvious ones and he showed and demonstrated so many more.. by the time he had finished I was so heightened that I needed to fuck again. I push him back onto the bed and ride him like I am almost raping him. I cum so quickly with me squirting everywhere.. as soon as I had finished I go down and lick up all my juices over his chest before going down on him, I LOVE sucking his cock, its so fucking smooth and wonderful, the veins everything about it makes it the perfect cock. I don't know what comes over me but I find my finger working in his butt hole, i am trying to find his prostate… he guides me, I find it and its like an extra 200ml of blood suddenly rushes to his cock. I am amazed. it feels like its going to ejaculate immediately, he doesn't. I continue to suck his cock and massage his prostate before I feel it swelling even larger, his balls rising he's about to cum. I prepare for my mouth to be filled with a deep breath. I feel it coming and coming and coming.. I'm trying to gulp it down and am mostly successful. It's not the first time and yet I am still shocked by how good it tastes. I've never had a guys cum taste so good and the fact I am thinking about this while he's unloading in my mouth surprises me. I leave the last few sprays in my mouth and swallow it showing him.. i then lick up and down his shaft to clean up and lost bits before coming up to kiss him.

For the rest of the morning we fuck like bunnies, its 11am before we finally clean up, change the sheets and leave.

1 note · View note

rewiringwithpsilocybin · 2 years

Text

DAY 27

Up at 6am. Felt excellent. During my morning walk by the river I usually focus on what I want to achieve for the day.

But having been moved by the psilocybin documentary I recently watched, I decided to relax, pay more attention to my surroundings and get out of my head for a while.

If I stop and observe my shoulders at any given moment in the day, they’re always tensed up. And however much I consciously try to relax them, that stiffness will have reasserted itself the moment I shift my attention to something else. Why is that?

A quick consultation with my Google overlord revealed on several reputable sites that this tension is caused by poor posture and . . . STRESS, that all-encompassing perpetrator who, like Lucifer himself, seems to be blamed for everything that we can’t properly explain or won’t take responsibility for.

Another diagnosis could be magnesium deficiency.

Meanwhile my walk involved making a conscious effort to keep my body as relaxed as possible and, to focus on the sounds or sights around instead of the internal chatterbox in my head.

Birdsong is a good area to being with. Some species punctuate the woodland jazz symphony with short, sharp, repetitive stabs like those of an accompanying horn section; others produce remarkably musical and complex solos, never saying the same thing twice. While the former sounds like its warning of danger or making its presence felt amongst its peers, what is the latter doing? Are these often tender and poignantly improvised melodies aimed at attracting a mate? Does the target of their affections eventually settle down with the bird that sings the best? Or am I anthropomorphising?

I also kept my eyes open and really looked at things. When we’re fretting about the future or replaying the past then we don’t really notice anything. Our eyes adopt a soft focus. We’ve shifted to a different time zone.

I discovered a contemplative secret garden that I’d never spotted before right in plain view; some well-executed graffiti that made me wonder; an odd confrontation between waterfowl of different species and, I hate to say it because it sounds so woo-woo, more of a connection with the planet. Nothing religious mind, just an agreeable sense of correlation.

The weather here is hot! Thirty seven degrees. Draining. Like having to listen to colleagues who never stop talking about themselves. The psilocybin energy was no match for it.

I had to go out during the afternoon and found myself hugging any available strips of shadow as if I were a Cold War spy isolated after curfew in East Berlin.

The only recourse was more cold showers – five of them throughout the day – to prevent myself from giving up, lying down and panting like a labrador next to a fan at full blast.

Another observation: pins and needles in my toes. Annoying and bit worrying. Need to get it checked out if it continues. I have noticed it very occasionally before, so I don’t think it’s related to microdosing.

However, the sensation seemed a bit more intense than previously. I suppose it could be related to an onset of pre-diabetes, which isn’t out of the question considering my teenage diet at times.

I’m still fasting though. Could that be a trigger? Weight today: 114.7 kilos

#microdosing #mushrooms #self help #psilocybin #self improvement #terrence mckenna #magic mushrooms #birdsong

0 notes

amerrierworld · 3 years

Text

I’m Not Jealous

request: more dom!daphne x reader? Thank you!

Summary: the press have seen you and Daphne together, but your relationship hasn’t been confirmed, so speculations are made.

Characters: Daphne Kluger x fem!reader, a real-life actress cameo ;)

Word Count: 2,121

Warnings: SMUTTT. you know how this goes :) dom!daphne & jealousy!

“People are staring at you,” Daphne whispered in your ear as she wound an arm around your waist, flashing a sweet smile at the cameras.

“They’re looking at you,” you chuckled, pressing close to her. “It’s not every day a big-wig celebrity is out shopping.”

“Hmph,” Daphne put her sunglasses back on, you following suit, before pulling you to the nearest restaurant. Your arms ached from the bags hanging off of your wrists.

“Table for two, please, pronto,” Daphne sighed, startling the host who was stacking some new menus. He was about to protest until he realized who was talking to him, and the cameramen pressed up against the front door windows, trying to get a good shot at the actress.

There was a seat in the back, away from the windows, close to the kitchen where chefs were bustling and cooking relentlessly. You would be shielded here, even if just momentarily.

“Daph.. this is a steakhouse.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Are you sure you wanna eat here? You told me you don’t like steakhouses, cause of your diet.”

“Do you want me to drag you out there again?” Daphne raised a sleek eyebrow at you, and you raised your hands in mock defeat.

“Very well, m’lady.”

“This’ll have to do,” she skimmed through the menu, lips pursing as she read through the options, “I’m starving after such a busy day.”

A day that had consisted of manicures and a shopping spree. Not that you were complaining, of course.

Comfortable silence followed. Daphne picked at your side of fries as you ate, just like she always did, when suddenly your phone pinged. You ignored it.

Then it pinged again. And again. A series of text messages from friends and colleagues that read OMG and you sly devil! and other sorts of teasing, confusing texts.

You got a couple of fresh news article links, and intrigued, you opened some.

And then you nearly choked on your drink. Daphne, startled, quickly asked what’s wrong.

You coughed, “...People seem to think I’m involved with.. Anne Hathaway? What the hell?”

“Oh, really?” Daphne’s voice was light, but tense. You scrolled through your phone again, pictures of the other actress jogging your memory.

“Oh, yeah, cause I ran into her at that gallery last week! Remember? You had something to present, and you got me that extra ticket. I ended up sitting next to her in the audience when you were on.”

Daphne scoffed, “everyone knows Annie is straight. She’s got a kid too, for crying out loud.”

“Okay wait, this is hilarious though,” you mumbled around a mouthful of steak, “listen to this... Mystery gal seen in tow with Daphne Kluger a week after getting comfy with Anne Hathaway... Hathaway and Kluger: fighting over damsel?... serial heartbreaker or love birds?”

“What the hell?” Daphne bristled, nearly yanking the phone out of your hand, “I swear to god, tabloids are the absolute worst.”

“I think it’s funny. They don’t have any proof other than I’ve spent time with both of you. They don’t even know your sexuality, so what’s the worry?”

“Hmph,” Daphne chewed aggressively on one of your fries. They were almost all gone, and you had barely touched them.

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

“Absolutely not,” Daphne snapped, and you suppressed a smile. “I hate how they feed lies into the media, that’s all. There’s always going to be people who believe them, too.”

“Yeah, but they don’t matter. I can call Anne right now and settle it? Maybe she can come join us for dinner sometime-”

“No! I- I mean.. let’s not. Let’s not bother her, right?”

You reached over and grabbed her hand, and Daphne sighed, flicking her hair over her shoulder,

“Maybe I should just come out and tell them about us. I’m getting tired of this. They’re thinking that I stole you from her. When they should be worried about it happening the other way around.”

“You don’t think that’s actually going to happen, do you?” You asked, startling her. She hadn’t expected you to take what she said that way, and she was lost for words for a moment.

“Come on, call your driver, we should go home,” you suggested, “I’m full anyways, aren’t you?”

“We didn’t even get to that shoe store downtown,” Daphne grumbled as you got inside her second city apartment safely.

“I can call Hathaway,” you teased, smirking as you dumped the bags in the front hall, “she could get us in-”

A finger hooked in the collar of your shirt and pulled you backwards, Daphne catching you and pulling you close, hot breath wafting over your ear.

“Don’t say her name,” she growled. You wriggled your hips, trying to escape her grasp.

“So you are jealous?”

“No.”

“You’re a great actress, Daph, but you can’t always hide-”

“Fine.”

Daphne pushed you forward until you were pressed against the kitchen counter. Her hands tugged at your shirt and pressed against the soft skin of your stomach. Your breath hitched.

“I am jealous. Alright? I’m so fucking jealous at the thought of all those people thinking you’re with her when you’re mine. And will always be mine.”

“Tell them, then,” you said, head tipping back onto her shoulder and your breath hoarse. “Let’s tell the world.”

“I suppose it’s about time, right?” Her hands grabbed your hips and she rolled hers against you with a slow, maddening pace.

“Y-yeah,” you whimpered, because now she was sucking her neck. You could faintly see yourself in the reflection of the cupboard door glass, and dark lipstick was already smudging on your skin.

“You can tell them now, if you want,” Daphne’s voice was lilting, seductive, and your brain was trying to catch up with what she was saying.

“Now?”

“Yes. When I fuck you so hard that you’ll be screaming my name so loudly every paparazzi in town will hear it.”

You laughed, because Daphne was always so private with her sexual escapades, and you knew that would never happened. But you toyed with the idea in your mind briefly, just for fun.

The fantasy escaped you, however, when Daphne’s hands began pushing past your waistband.

“B-bedroom?” you pleaded.

Daph relented, but only briefly, to make sure you both watched your step as you got to the bedroom.

You wanted to pull her dress off, but she tutted.

“Not so fast,” she whispered and you stilled. She pressed against your shoulders until your back hit the mattress and yanked your hands up above your head.

“Hng- wait- the clothes-,” you mumbled deliriously, distracted by her cleavage in her formfitting dress.

“Shush,” she said, as if scolding a child, “all in good time.”

She unclipped the belt that sat at her waist and created a rough resemblance to a pair of handcuffs that chained you to the headboard.

Then her hands pulled your shirt up, over your head, and bunched it around your wrists. The same happened with your bra. You felt their fabric wound around your hands and wrists, cushioning against the metal of the headboard.

Daphne straddled you for a moment, the dress riding up until you cold see her lacy underwear peeking out from underneath. You felt your arousal coursing through your body now, and she raked her newly manicured fingers up your sides, making you shiver.

“If only they knew, hm?” she chuckled, tucking some stray hair behind her ear. She raised herself up on her knees, arms stretching to unzip her dress from behind, and slowly tugged it down.

With every extravagant motion of a silver screen actress she deftly pushed her dress down, revealing her bra, breasts threatening to spill over, and you felt yourself salivate.

Then she turned around, and you watched, gaping as she pulled the rest of her dress over her ass and down her long legs.

“Fuck,” you whimpered, hips bucking up at the sight. You rubbed your thighs together, desperate.

Eventually, Daphne tossed the dress to the side and faced you again. She sat on your stomach, unabashedly grinding against your abdomen, her knees spread wide.

“D-Daphne,” you gasped. She had pulled one cup of her bra down and was tugging at a rosy nipple. Her lower lip was caught by her teeth and she looked down at you with a grin.

“Need more, baby?” she asked, voice rough. You nodded, straining against the multiple things holding your hands together. Your pants felt unbearably tight now. You wanted her skin, wanted to feel her, your body heat suffocating you in the fabric.

“God, you look so needy,” she chuckled. “It makes me so wet, you know that?”

Her hand left her breast and pushed into her underwear, fingers immediately rubbing her clit as she rocked on top of you.

“N-not fair,” you whined, pressing up again, making her gasp softly.

“I’ll decide what’s fair,” she retorted, and her other hand snaked behind her to sneak past your own waistband and press snugly against your cunt.

Your voice came out in a choked cry. It felt nice- warm and wet and her long fingers rubbed vigorously, but it wasn’t enough. The fabric of your pants held her hand in place, in the wrong place, and she was obviously getting distracted by touching herself that you couldn’t get any proper friction.

You spread your legs as wide as possible, pushing her closer with your thighs and you wriggled for her attention. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked down at you and your pleading eyes.

“Not enough?” she asked, a finger slipping around your clit, but not touching where you needed it. You furiously shook your head, and she flashed her award-winning smile.

“That’s too bad then, isn’t it?”

She swiftly took off her underwear and before you knew it her cunt was settling over your face. You whined in protest as her hand left your pulsing clit and she fisted it in your hair instead.

“Give me that tongue and maybe I’ll let you cum,” she gasped.

She cooed soft praise as you followed through, tongue sliding out to suck and lick her wet skin desperately.

“Hungry, are we?” Daphne chuckled, her breath catching as you suckled at her clit. “Didn’t get enough at the steakhouse?”

You hummed in the back of your throat as you pushed your tongue deeply inside her and she groaned. Her milky thighs trembled and tensed at the sides of your head and she pressed closer to you.

You breathed in heavily through your nose, catching her sweat and arousal and bucked your own hips in response.

Taking pity, Daphne’s hand slipped back behind her, clumsily nudging your pants away until her fingers roughly found your cunt and pushed inside of you. You whined against her cunt, your pace stuttering for a moment.

“Don’t slack off,” she said, her other hand tugging at your hair in reprimand. Your fingers twitched and tensed above you, wishing you could touch her.

She slipped her bra off completely as she rocked on your face. Her hand pressed deeply inside of you, wriggling and nudging against your front walls with strong fingers.

“Make me cum,” she ordered breathily, her hips stuttering, and you pressed your tongue against her clit until she gushed into your mouth, sweet and intoxicating. Her soft, high-pitched groans contrasted with the iron grip she had on your cunt.

Now that she had nothing else to focus on her hand picked up a sure pace. She lifted off of your face to let you breathe, only for you to gasp and beg,

“Please- please, please please..”

Daphne chuckled, two fingers pinching and rolling the hood over your clit, and you were done for.

You felt sweat and slick sliding down the inside of your thighs and she kept rubbing lightly as your orgasm rushed over you. Your abdomen convulsed and shivered through the sensations until your senses could return to normal and you saw Daphne staring at you lovingly from above.

Her hands reached forward and tugged the restraints off of your wrists. You felt blood rush back to your arms as they dropped by your sides, but you were too distracted by sucking and kissing her breasts hanging so close to your face to notice.

Daphne squealed as you nipped her skin and cradled your head closely before pulling you up for a deep kiss.

“Love you,” you mumbled against her lips.

“I know,” she muttered, making you chuckle. Her hands worked the rest of your clothes off and then she laid down by your side, stretching like a cat, a leg hooking over yours as she kissed your face.

The shopping bags remained unpacked in the front hall for the rest of the night.

#daphne #daphne kluger #daphne kluger x you #daphne kluger x reader #daphne x you #anne hathaway #anne hathaway x reader #anne hathaway x you #ocean's eight #oceans 8 #oceans8 #ocean's 8 #wlw #lgbt #merry writes

496 notes · View notes

petiteoat · 3 years

Text

Things I wish I had known about Recovery

It is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, it’s more difficult than starving, fasting or counting calories, it hurts more than hunger pangs and dizziness; it brings to light every ounce of self loathing you have and you can’t just starve it away anymore but learn how to sit with the pain

On that note, if you’re asking yourself “am I even sick enough to have anything to recover from?” the answer is 100 per cent yes, because healthy people do not have to ask themselves those questions. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been enduring this, whether you’ve lost fifty lbs or your weight hasn’t changed - eating disorders are a mental illness, not a physical one.

That being said, you can’t have one foot in recovery and one foot within your eating disorder. Trust me, I tried. All it does is create a hellish purgatory where you’re not losing weight but you’re hungry all the time and all you can ever think about is food and numbers and macros and weight and meal times and miles walked and your body.

When you first start recovering you’re going to experience a terrifying level of hunger, you’ll eat full meals and it won’t even touch the sides. You’ll wonder how you ever managed to get through the day eating so little, and you’ll try countless times to curb your insatiable appetite. However the very difficult truth is that the only way to get rid of extreme hunger is to - you guessed it - eat.

Eat when you first wake up, don’t worry about chugging a litre of water. Eat snacks for no reason, eat junk food, eat because someone else is, eat when you’re hungry and when you’re full and when you’re bored and when you’re angry and when you’re scared. Eat. Eat the meal your mother made for you and cherish the taste, remember how much you loved her cooking when you were a kid. When your jeans don’t fit anymore, eat. When someone makes a comment about your weight, eat. There is no way to escape the insatiable hunger your body feels because you have been starving it for so long.

You will be confronted with the harsh reality of how sick you are. This is particularly prevalent for those of you in denial - like I was. I told myself it was all ironic, that I could stop at any time, that I even ran a fucking thinspo blog ironically because I wasn’t like everyone else, I wasn’t stupid or skinny enough to actually develop an eating disorder in my late teens. Instead every day I had to endure my suddenly overwhelming thoughts regarding food, and there was no escaping it.

You’ll start to realise how frequently normal people engage in disordered behaviours or ways of speaking. You’ll have to watch your colleague drink the black coffee that you tried so hard to pretend to like. You’ll listen to aunts, sisters, cousins, brag about their new diet or talk about how bad they’ve been for eating. You’ll listen to guys talk enviously about some other girl who is super skinny. You have to rise above it.

The alternative to recovery, of course, is death. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even in ten years. Perhaps you’ll live to the ripe old age of ninety. I wonder how your body will look then? Will you have children sat by your death bed - could you endure the horror of being fat and pregnant? I wonder how much you’ll weigh? Will you look back on your life and feel an immeasurable sense of pride because against all the odds you’ve had a thigh gap to die for. You missed out on the birthday cakes, on christmas dinner, on going to the movies with your partner and your hands touching over a bowl of popcorn. You sacrificed years of your life to running, walking, starving, starving, so hungry you think you’ll die - but you didn’t, except one day you will.

Despite it all, how infuriatingly difficult recovery is; if I could go back to my lowest weight and run my hands over my ribs, admire my teeny waist and collar bones; I would choose recovery every single time, because I am myself again - after fucking years of living as a ghost I can proudly say I actually exist and have thoughts outside of food and I promise you it is possible to be fully recovered, but you have to eat.

1K notes · View notes

formenis · 3 years

Text

Lesson

Anon asked: “ Can you do a scenario where L hasn't sleep in a while and it got to the point where even the Task Force is worried about him so Watari calls L's secret S/O and she comes barging into HQ and starts yelling at L that he is getting sleep or she is drugging him so he will sleep and L just follows behind her like a love-sick puppy“

A/N: please everyone, let’s give L so much love! Our best detective needs some rest sometimes.

And consider English is not my first language so I’m sorry about all the mistakes you’ll find. I’m trying to improve.

pairing: L x fem!reader

warning: nope

requested: yes

Y/A = your alias

Once Watari said: «L has no internal clockwork or any concept of time. After 102 hours of staying awake, he slept for almost 17 hours» and for him it was not enough.

If you think it's strange, well you don't know L. He goes to the toilette by himself with open doors and slightly changed sitting position. Since he likes clearness, he bathes frequently. But he never washes himself; he just sits in Watari's special "human washer" which includes drying functions.

L is rather picky with regards to clothing, there are always ten or so identical sets of clothes prepared for him. But he cannot put them on by himself…no, rather, he never feels like doing it (Watari has to say something like "banzai" to tell L to lift his arms). Most of the time, he is in his room, sitting motionlessly in that position.

But Y/N L/N knows it very well. She is L's girlfriend for a long time and she is used to L's particular (and almost non-existent) routine. That's her patience and kind personality that caught L's attention. It all started when Y/N went at the Wammy's House for a job interview. They were searching for a new teacher and Y/N satisfied all the prerequisites. During her probationary period all children fell in love with their new teacher, so patient and gentle even with the most spiteful kid.

When Roger Ruvie, the Wammy's House manager when Watari was not there, sent his observations about this new candidate, L agreed in hiring her. And when he met her in person he was hypnotised by her. The children were right, she was special: Y/N became the mother, the sister, the aunt and the friend those children didn’t have. This captured the attention and the interest of the greatest detective in the world.

It didn’t take long for both Y/N and L to fall for each other: the young teacher was attracted by his intellect and by his gaze, so deep and mysterious; on the other hand, L was mesmerized by her personality and by her smirk she had whenever she was right about something. But the thing that convinced L that Y/N was the right one for him was when she beat him at chess.

«Checkmate»

At first, L didn’t pay attention to what she said but when he observed the chessboard he couldn’t hide his surprise. «Miss L/N…you won»

«That's what I said»

But back to the present. Y/N was at the Wammy's House checking the homework of her little students when Roger entered her classroom.

«Miss L/N, there's a call for you»

«Ah yes, thank you Roger» Y/N answers at the phone placed on her desk. «Hello?»

«Miss L/N, it's Watari» the old and warm voice of Quillsh Wammy (as known as Watari) echoed through the receiver.

«Good afternoon Watari, I was correcting some homework. Do you need something?»

«It's about L»

Since the beginning of the Kira case, L moved to Japan. He changed hotel every week until Watari finished the new HQ and for the task-force was compulsory not to use any electronic devices when they were with him. This meant L couldn’t call his beloved Y/N that often and he started to miss her.

In order to solve as fast as he could the Kira case, he dived in the work for entire days and nights. Sugar cubes and coffee were his meals and he almost refused to sleep. He focused his mind and all his being to the case.

At first, the task-force wasn’t that concerned since they realised L had particular habits. But week after week, month after month, the situation got worse. His eyebags became darker and heavier, his skin became more white than his shirt and in general he looked really sickly.

«Uhm Ryuzaki? Did you sleep last night?» Soichiro Yagami asked him, there was worry on his face.

«When the Kira case will be solved I'll sleep» L replied rather tiredly despite his monotone voice didn’t express it. But Watari, who was with them serving ice-cream to everyone, noticed it immediately. He couldn’t bear such sight, he had to do something so he made a decision: if nobody could convince L to rest, then Miss Y/N L/N will.

«That's why I need you here, Miss L/N»

«He didn’t sleep for how much, Watari?! Are you serious?»

«Unfortunately yes. He dedicated every part of his being to the case. And by "every part" I mean literally every part of him»

«I can't believe it. I'm coming there, Watari»

«Very well, Miss L/N»

♰ TIME SKIP ♰

When Y/N arrives in Japan she was truly amazes by that country, so full of life, lights and culture. She can't believe it's the same country where Kira is killing. However, at the moment she can only think about L. She is so worried about him and about his well-being: he can be so odious and stubborn about his work that he would gladly renounce to his health if it meant to solve a case.

Y/N is boiling from rage, L went too far. If he falls ill how can he solve the case? Despite the anger she feels, she is excited too: it's been months since she saw or heard L. She misses him so much…but at the same time she wants to scold him.

«He is more hard-headed than the children at the Wammy's!» Y/N mutters at Watari, who is driving the car. With an excuse, he left the HQ to go at the airport to pick Y/N up and now they were coming back.

«Yes, I know. It's the reason I called you…you are the only one who can convince Ryuzaki»

During the way towards the HQ, Watari informs her about the Kira case, the task-force and all L's suspects. At the same time Y/N warns him about all the new prodigies at the orphanage. The old man smiles kindly when he sees, through rear-view mirror, how Y/N's eyes shine when she started to talk about her students.

After an hour, the two of them arrives at this famous HQ: twenty-three floors aboveground and two floors belowground; Watari said there is a helipad on the roof of the building but the structure is designed so that the helipad and the two helicopters on it cannot be seen by those looking at the building from the exterior.

«Miss L/N, please use the back stairs. I deactivated the cameras so you can reach the monitoring room without being watched by Ryuzaki»

«Alright Watari, thanks»

Y/N did as instruct by him and takes the back stairs in order to reach the elevator. In her mind, Y/N is preparing the discourse to do at L: it doesn't matter if his colleagues are with him, he has to come to terms with her and starting to have a regular and healthy routine.

In the monitoring room nobody has any idea that the greatest detective's girlfriend is there in the same building as them. Actually they don’t know that L has a girlfriend either. So when the task-force see a young woman spread open the main door of the monitoring room they are quite shocked.

«Who is she?» Matsuda looked up from the papers in his hands. Shortly after that, all the other men looked up as well.

«L!»

That voice distracted L from his dossiers and through the reflection on his laptop he recognises Y/N. His lips become a thin line, a sudden rush of thoughts and emotions hits L at the same time. Why is she there? Something bad happened at the Wammy's House? Is it because he cuts ties with everyone during the investigations? Confusion, concern, worry, alarm…fear yet happiness, because he can see her after long time. L is overwhelmed.

«Everyone, please meet Miss Y/A, Ryuzaki's significant other» Watari introduces her at the task-force and each member gasped in shock.

«L! Watari told me you refused to eat properly, to sleep properly…to live properly!»

Ryuzaki spins his swivel chair towards her so Y/N has the chance to look better at him: hollow face, paler skin colour, dark and heavy eyebags. «Y/A, please, I'm not one of your student»

L is somehow relieved that Y/N was there because of him and not because something terrible happened to her or to the children at the orphanage. So he half-sighs in relief when she started to complain about is health.

«Well, you seem like one in this moment! I cannot bear seeing you like this, you know how much important health is for everyone. The lack of sleep or an unregulated diet will affect your mind and your efficiency will decrease! And how can you catch Kira if you're tired?»

Ah, how much L misses those cute "telling-offs". It is clearly Y/N's professional deformation: she worries about people and strangers as much as she does with the children at the Wammy's. So when she finishes her discourse, L couldn’t hide a wide smile.

«I guess you're right, Y/A» L pretended to be sorry but the truth is that he loves seeing that part of Y/N's personality.

«Of course I am! Now let's start from the sleeping part!» she walks closer to him and grabs the wrist. Then she drags him out of the monitoring room leading towards the bedroom. In L's eyes, admiration and love can be seen while Y/N continues with her discourse about a new healthy routine he has to start.

Right before entering the bedroom L stops and hugs Y/N from behind, his arms are around her chest now. «Y/N…you have no idea how much I missed you»

She smiles, removing her teacher mask for a moment, and looks at him. «I missed you too, cutie pie»

L rubs slightly his cheeks against hers in a cute act of affection. Having her in his arm is such a relief for him, L can sense a strong wave of tiredness on his shoulders. «Will you rest with me?»

«Of course~» Y/N caresses his dark hair, something she really misses doing. «I'll stay with you from now on»

#death note #death note headcanons #death note scenario #l x reader #l lawliet #watari #reader insert #female reader #x you #x y/n

333 notes · View notes

cosmiclatte28 · 3 years

Text

Tongue Piercing (Yuta x reader)

A/n : the promised, Nakamoto Yuta tongue piercing scenario :D not the best out there, but y’all are thirsty for yuta’s tongue piercing jk lol or yes?

also happy lunar new year! (づ￣ 3￣)づ

tags : to my fellow yuta simps :”) @yutahoes @ailoveyuta @2-3-t-i

warning : suggestive, piercings, yuta is a flirt (but so are you)

enjoy~~

“Back here again Nakamoto?” You ask after hearing the small bell on the door chimes. You glance from cleaning up the greeting table to the tall man with a gummy smile portrayed on his face.

“Yes I'm here as you can see.” He shrugs his shoulder and takes off the cap and mask he used to hide his face.

You watch the clock and notice it's already working time. You wonder where your colleagues are, it's a bit unusual for them to be late.

“Alone?” The man asks you once again as he walks to stand in front of you.

You nod, this is Nakamoto Yuta, a regular customer in your tattoo and piercing parlor and he is your boyfriend. Well don’t be surprised at your morning encounter, he is an idol so he doesn’t live with you. You rarely check your phone in the morning, so maybe you missed his message about coming here.

“What are you planning to do? Visiting me or you're here for something else?” you fold your hands over your chest leaning on to the table you've just cleaned.

Yuta smirks and pulls your chin “Is that how you greet your boyfriend?”

Before you can roll your eyes for his clingy behaviour, he already takes over your lips with a short kiss and that’s that.

“I am here to visit you and at the same time for a new pierce.” He cups your cheeks and you just wait for him to explain everything.

“Didn’t we agree you had enough already this month?” you ask in your squished cheek phase and Yuta giggles at that and he pulls his body away from you.

“I am not talking about my ears.” He says as he pulls a small mirror he found on the desk and examines his ear. You were right, his ear has had enough!

“Then where?” you ask a little bit shy.

Yuta cocks his head upon hearing your cracked voice “I guess you were thinking of wild things… judging by your cracked voice.”

You shake your head and mumble in your heart “Come on be professional about this.”

You take a deep breath and smile “Okay so tell me Yuta where do you exactly want the new piercing?”

“Actually after getting one for my navel, I really want to have another one in my tongue.” Your face fall and he has the audacity to click his tongue and winks at you.

“Tongue?” you stutter at him. He nods and licks his lips slightly.

“That hurts so much Yuta!” you yell a little bit at him.

He nods “I’m aware of that.”

You shake your head “Are you sure? Like really… I always make sure my customer are ready if they ask for a tongue piercing.”

Yuta teasingly leans closer to you “And honey who else should I trust in piercing my tongue if it's not you?”

Your mouth can only open and close like a fish and Yuta pinches your nose “Now, why don’t you get the needle ready before the store gets crowded and you'll be busy with your clients. It's a relieve I am here alone with you.”

He pushes you lightly to the working room and you can only hide in the store room as you prepare the needle and anesthesia needed.

Yuta has taken the seat like piercing was nothing big nor painful. This man can be a masochist who enjoys the pain. Gosh … you shake your head as you bring all the equipment to the table and puts over your sanitary gloves and mask.

“Do you bring the stud already?”

He nods and reaches to his pocket, then gives it to you. You nod, nothing new. Something simple only a round ball stud.

“Have you eaten a good meal?” you try to lighten the mood. Yuta nods “I've eaten all the good stuff. I know I won’t be able to eat painlessly for several week but I'm on a diet for a comeback don’t worry.”

You sigh “Okay, well if this is what you want I'm glad I got to be the one doing this. I'll make sure there's no regret and it's gonna be pretty.” You wink at him.

Yuta chuckles “Gosh I cannot wait to kiss you!”

You slap his firm tight “Pervert! You shouldn’t kiss not until I make sure there is no inflammation or infection! Now open up that mouth baby,” your voice turns husky within a gulp and you're glad no one else is here.

Yuta taps your ass “Wasn’t I the one in charge?”

You click your tongue “Not for today, I guess. Now open,” you gently hold his chin as Yuta’s eyes glisten when he sees you inject the anesthesia to him.

“Close your eyes, let me focus.” You wink and start doing your job.

It doesn’t take much time; you know Yuta can literally bare any slight pain when it comes to piercing.

You place the metal ball and finish the last touch. After making sure you’re done, you tap his shoulder.

“All done! Now, the pain will come in like another half of an hour. I suggest you drink a pain killer and please let me know if you feel any pain okay?” You cup his cheeks into your palm.

Yuta smiles through the numb feel in his tongue, he opens his mouth to talk but his tongue still cannot cooperate. You giggle and kiss his nose, “Don’t worry. Your tongue should be numb, and you can’t talk well for a while. But it’s regular.” Yuta only nods and he gets up to leave the chair.

You walk him to the front desk again and find your colleague already standing there.

“Alright, I’ll go.” Yuta speaks unclearly but you nod your head and just give him a thumbs up.

“Oh! Take this with you, you’ll need it.” You put your lip balm in his palm and he only smirks when he sees you blushing.

Yuta knows that is the favorite cherry lip balm he always smooches from you, and he knows you’re sending him some naughty ideas to his head.

You did not see Yuta for the last week, it’s already ten days since you pierced his tongue, five days since he came to have them checked for any problems, and after you told him he is already ready to use his tongue like usual, he’s gone.

You understand he is busy with his practices, but you did not expect him to suddenly knock on your door one Saturday night, looking all hot in his sleeveless black shirt.

“Oh! You didn’t tell me you’re coming.” You peek from your door, actually not prepared to receive him in your house. You haven’t really cleaned up your mess and you yourself look so plain and messy.

Yuta smirks “Does a boyfriend need to set a schedule to come visit his own girl? Move aside, let me in before anyone notices I am here and before I found any man in your room other than me.”

You roll your eyes and open the door for him, he directly enters without much hesitation. Running his eyes through the room and make a quick scan on you.

He chuckles, “Isn’t that a bit too revealing?” he asks when he notices your super worn out tee shirt and shorts. Well they’re the best to sleep In with so you don’t mind using such worn out clothes that happened to be “revealing” to Yuta.

You pull the sleeves of your tee up and shrug “Nah, it’s super cool with this, also I am sleeping alone Yuta. No one bothers what I am wearing.”

He places his bag down and jumps to the sofa on your living room.

“Good, no other man here.” He giggles as he pats your head. You sigh “Really? You came just to check if I am cheating on you?”

He raises his brow “Can’t I come? Didn’t you miss me? It’s been more than a week.”

You smile “Well, I have a quiet week without you! Quite a good one, but you could’ve texted me, and you know I could..” you rub your neck

Yuta leans closer “Could what?” his playful smirk comes up to his face.

You push him back “Could clean the house and prepare some food or drink for you.”

He giggles “No need, I’ve eaten dinner. I thought you said you would’ve worn a nicer lingerie.”

You smack his thigh and he yells “Why are you so rough right now, I am just kidding.”

“No sexy lingerie. I don’t have one.” You lean to your sofa, eyes watching the movie playing in front of you.

Yuta chuckles “Are you telling me that you want me to get you one?”

You want to punch him right then and there, but you know that will just make him tease you more.

So, you grit your teeth and punch him several times “If that makes you happy, yes go on buy me one! A lacy one okay! Damn it Yuta and his pervert head.” You launch your playful attack back at him and he just laughs.

“Alright alright, I know what you like, don’t worry.” He winks and licks his lips.

That’s when you remember your boyfriend has a piercing.

“Ah! Yuta let me see the piercing!!” you pull his chin and that makes the man flustered

Yuta sticks out his tongue and there you can see your wonderful professional work of piercing.

“It’s pretty! Do you mind, if I take a picture for a testimony?” you pull out your puppy eyes and phone.

Yuta clicks his tongue “I can do that,”

With that you make your boyfriend sticks his tongue out nicely and he’s a good model. You got a few good pictures that you’ll print and put on your office for references.

“Now, that you said I can do anything with my tongue, and you’ve done your job… can we try what I’ve been wanting since last time?” your boyfriend pulls you closer to him and lifts you up to his lap when you nod your head shyly.

“Don’t be shy, you knew too much to be acting innocent. I know you wanted to kiss me so bad too.” He nuzzles his nose to yours and you stick your forehead to his.

“Hmm? What do you mean?” your eyes twinkle in front of his.

Yuta fishes something out of his pocket and your eyes follow his hand. You blush when you see him shaking the cherry lip balm you gave to him.

“You knew I wanted to kiss you, but that was not allowed… so you gave me this? So I can feel like I am kissing you, right?” He raises his brow.

You look away from him, cursing his smart head for getting your message.

“But as much as I am thankful for this balm, I want to taste it from your lips.” He pops the balm open and spreads it over your mouth. Your eyes grow wide as you feel your stomach tingles at how close you are to him. You’re on his lap, one of his strong arms is holding your waist thumb barely touching your exposed skin from the worn shirt, while his other hand is applying a balm over your lips.

You balance yourself by placing your hands over his shoulder and when he pops back the lip balm lid, you smack your lips and dive into his lips. Yuta smirks as he savors you and you have to remind yourself there is a metal ball in his tongue that you’re battling with. Damn it’s hot, but still you don’t want to hurt him.

Yuta’s hands find their way to pick you up by your waist and you tighten your hands over his neck. He walks his way to your bedroom he knew by heart and for once you’re glad you always keep your bed clean or pausing to clean the bed up will ruin everything.

Once Yuta sets you down on your bed, you both part to gasp for air and you can feel your cheeks burning.

“That was hot,” you say between your breaths.

Yuta winks “I did not regret this at all, are you in?” he asks your concern, though this was nothing new, Yuta always wants to make sure he has your concern before continuing.

You nod and he leads you in.

“Gosh I really have to buy you sexy laces, huh?” he teases you and you hit him “Yak! Faster, don’t drive the attention elsewhere.”

Yuta licks his lips one more time when his eyes run over your body on your bed. He’s glad he got home tonight and he’s glad to see you after a long week.

You face Yuta who is lying on your side. Your naked bodies are still sweaty in the cold room, but with the covers and Yuta’s warm hug you don’t shiver at all. His fingers brush your hairs away from your face and he looks at you with stars in his eyes.

“I love you so much,” he blurts out

You stifle a laugh “Suddenly?”

He nods “Yeah, Every time I see you, I don’t want to lose you.”

You trace circles on his biceps and lay your head on his chest. You snake your arms into his torso and hug him close

“I am not going anywhere, don’t worry Yuta. I love you too.” You peck his nose and he giggles.

“I’m glad I found you.”

“Me too,”

“So, what color do you want for your lace?” he wriggles his eye brow.

You laugh “Whatever suits your taste, I can rock them honey.”

Yuta kisses your cheek “Naughty! But I like it.”

You taunt at him “So, where do you want the next piercing to be?”

Yuta smirks “I don’t know, surprise me?”

end

I- just had the courage to post this

377 notes · View notes

cudan2 · 3 years

Text

One Last Surgery

Spring Break Shadowing Part 5.1

Carlisle Cullen x Reader

Word Count: 2,043

Summary: You finally find out the reason for going to the children’s hospital, but you’re more distracted than usual today and Dr. Cullen can tell.

A/N: Tell me why part 5 of SBS takes up over half of the whole series? I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for 5 months because I keep adding more to it smh. Now it’s too long so I’ve decided to split it up into 3 parts (in addition to parts 6 and 7). I’m making the final edits the rest of this part now - 5.2 should be posted in like two days.

Anyways, this is technically the beginning of #1 and #2 on my headcanon list.

Masterlist

XXX

Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital is only across the street from Doctor Cullen’s office, but it seems to take forever to get there. You trail the doctor like a lost puppy through a skyway and a series of corridors before eventually reaching the right building. Different is definitely an understatement.

Gone are the linoleum-tiled floors, the abstract paintings lining the hallways, and the stark white walls. Instead, there are bright colors everywhere you look. Artwork featuring various galaxies and planets scatter throughout the hospital, and giant stars are imprinted along the floors; even the whole atmosphere just feels different.

You don’t get much time to analyze the differences though. Doctor Cullen is wasting no time to reach the destination, and his long legs aren’t making it any easier to keep up.

“Not that I don’t like surprises, but any chance you can tell me what we’re doing in the children’s hospital now?”

“Impatient, are we?” Doctor Cullen chuckles. He stops at an elevator and pushes the up button, only giving into your question once he catches a glimpse of your pout. “Alright, you win. Are you familiar with a cleft palate or cleft lip?”

The elevator dings, the doors sliding open with it. You shake your head no and get on the elevator with him. He presses the button for the floor and then leans against the wall, arms outstretched on the handrail, and gives you an explanation.

“A cleft is a gap or split occurring in the roof of the mouth, upper lip, or both. It is due to improper joining of the tissue during fetal development. There are no definitive known causes as of right now, but it’s believed that the environment and genetics can play a role.

The hospital has its own craniofacial team, but I was asked to join this particular case given its more complicated nature. Hanna became one of the first patients I treated when I came to Columbia,” Doctor Cullen finishes fondly, a smile gracing his lips.

“What makes this case complicated?” you ask.

“Hanna was born with a bilateral complete cleft lip and palate, meaning her lip cleft is two-sided and continues into her nose. It took quite a few surgeries to repair the lip, but now the next step is to repair the palate.”

The elevator reaches the floor and dings. You follow Doctor Cullen out and continue prodding him with more questions, which he is more than eager to answer. It’s incredible how knowledgeable he is. Granted, it is his job to know these things, but you couldn’t begin to imagine yourself being able to even scratch the surface of these topics, not to mention give a mini lecture on it.

You’re soon standing at the door to a patient room while the doctor asks Hanna’s parents if you can observe. They readily agree, and Doctor Cullen motions for you to come in.

Inside the room, you see an infant that can’t be more than a year old – Hanna. She’s sitting upright on the bed, leaning against who you assume to be her father. You notice two fading scars going up into her nose above her lip. Her mother is waving a stuffed toy around her, but Hanna’s attention is fixated on the blonde doctor.

“Y/N, allow me to introduce you to Hanna’s parents, Anthony and Linh Pham. And this is Doctor Giselle Adamou, who will be working with me on the surgery,” Doctor Cullen gestures to the older doctor in the room.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” you say politely.

Pre-op goes differently than what you’ve gotten used to observing this week. There is no case presenting given the lack of residents on the case. If anything, this is what you would expect out of a non-teaching hospital.

Doctor Cullen re-explains the procedures to Hanna’s parents, but halfway through, Hanna crawls to the end of the bed where Doctor Cullen is and attempts to stand, arms outstretched as if to say, “Up! Up!” Bewilderment is not a word you would have associated with him, and yet you catch the brief widening of his eyes that betray his usually calm demeanor.

“I think she wants you to hold her,” Linh comments.

“I can see,” Doctor Cullen muses. “Do you mind?”

“She’s all yours.” Linh picks her daughter up from the bed and hands her to the doctor. The sound of Hanna’s elated laughter fills the room, and you can’t stop a small smile from appearing on your own face. A cute baby and a gorgeous doctor? You don’t know who to thank for the sight.

Meanwhile, Hanna starts playing with various pens in Doctor Cullen’s breast pocket while Doctor Adamou continues where her colleague left off. You try to pay attention, you really do. Like Hanna though, your attention lies on someone else, and that someone else happens to be Doctor Cullen.

The more you study him, the more the minute features you never noticed about him before seem to pop out to you. Under the bright fluorescent lighting of the hospital, the dark purple circles under his eyes are more apparent than ever. How ironic for the preacher of health to lack sleep himself. His eyes, which you normally consider to be a vivid golden, are darker than you initially thought them to be. They are liquid pools of dark amber, speckled with dustings of gold and flecks of black. There isn’t a single blemish on his face that you can see either, further confirming your belief that this man is truly the most attractive person you have ever met. Either that or he must have one hell of a skincare routine.

It’s unnerving how young his appearance is. Skincare and diet can only do so much for a person, right? Doctor Cullen has to be at least 35 at the minimum, yet he could easily pass off as someone from your own school.

“Any last minute questions?” you hear Doctor Adamou ask and snap back into reality. By missing nearly everything the older doctor talked about, you already know you’ll be so screwed if and when Doctor Cullen decides to interrogate you on this case.

Neither parent has anything left to say, so Doctor Cullen gives a reluctant Hanna back to her mother. She lets out a cry and his expression softens.

“I know, sweetheart. I’ll miss you too, but I need to get ready for your big surgery, okay? I promise you’ll see me again in a few hours.” His soothing voice does wonders for her. In an instant, Hanna quiets down and her frown is replaced with giggles and smiles again. She waves the two of you off, and you both take your leave with Doctor Adamou trailing behind you. You’re not even halfway out the door yet when Doctor Cullen starts testing your knowledge again.

“Y/N, what procedure will we be doing to repair Hanna’s cleft?”

You do not have this one in the bag whatsoever. You wrack your brain for information that could help you, but Doctor Adamou interjects before you get a chance to say anything.

“Why does it not surprise me that you’re treating students like interns already, Carlisle?”

“I am merely advancing the education of next generation’s doctors,” he responds.

“Whatever you say,” she laughs. “Don’t scare off Y/N though, or we won’t have any doctors left in the next generation.” She turns to you after picking up files from a nearby counter and says, “You come running to me if he pushes you too hard, alright?”

You grin. “For sure.”

“Good. I look forward to seeing you both in the OR,” she says before heading off.

You like Doctor Adamou. Each surgeon you’ve met here so far has had such different personalities, yet each also has the charisma and confidence to take control of a room and command respect. You, on the other hand, could barely get your own friends to listen to your own words. How are you ever going to get on the level of all the amazing doctors around you?

“She saved you there,” Doctor Cullen comments, leafing through Hanna’s charts as he walks you into an empty elevator to the operating floor. Oops, it’s just your luck that he noticed your lack of attention during the pre-op. “It’s unlike you to be distracted. Penny for your thoughts?”

The elevator doors shut, and he looks up from the chart, his eyes falling onto yours. He has that twinkle in his eyes again – the one that brings warmth to your cheeks and could make anyone weak in their knees. You know it’s silly, but a single look from him could make you spill any of your deepest and darkest secrets, yet a part of you also knows that he would keep it. You’re not naïve – you know it’s dangerous to put so much faith into a man you only met this week – but there’s something about him that told your instincts to trust him from the very beginning.

Call it intuition, or maybe it’s just plain stupidity, but you sure as hell aren’t going to tell him about how you got distracted because of his pretty face.

You hesitate for a moment and let out a sigh. “How do you do it?” He quirks a brow, momentarily perplexed, and you attempt to find the right words. “How do you make all of this look so easy? How do you know what the right thing to say is? Or trust that what you’re doing is even right? How did you know if this was all meant for you? This is really dumb, but it seems like everyone here was born for this job, and then there’s... me.”

There’s a slight sense of dread starting to form in your stomach. You’re unsure if what you asked even made any sort of sense and wonder if you gave too much away. Giving any reason to second guess your abilities is like digging your own grave when it comes to this career. Expressing uncertainty is one of the biggest taboos of the cutthroat world that is pre-med because schools would not accept students that aren’t absolutely, totally, and completely sure about this path.

You’ve wanted this for so long, yet there’s still a part of you that doubts if you would be enough.

Rather than going straight to gowning and scrubbing in for the surgery, Doctor Cullen grabs your hand and leads you down to an abandoned hallway, only letting go once the two of you are hidden in an alcove away from any prying ears or eyes.

“What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for surgery?”

“We have a few minutes to spare. Y/N, please know that I understand how you feel,” he says softly. “There was a time when I questioned my own abilities as well… whether my perseverance could overcome adversity. It took quite some time to reach where I am today. However, without enduring those trials and tribulations, I would not be here. With time comes experience, and it is that experience that allows me to perform my job the best I can.”

His voice reminds you of a gentle breeze, rustling the leaves of a tree on a cool summer night when he continues speaking in hushed tones. It brings a blanket of reassurance, a sense that things would eventually be alright.

“I have said this before, but I see enormous potential in you. You still have a great deal of time to grow and develop your skills. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself with others, especially given today’s societal standards, but I believe you are much more capable than you may think you are. Everyone’s journey is different and yours may not necessarily be as linear as you would prefer. In due time though, I have faith that you will succeed.”

What he says is exactly what you needed to hear.

The swell of tears pricks at your eyes and start blurring your vision, but you blink them away quickly, fighting the urge to wrap your arms around the doctor.

“Thank you, Doctor Cullen.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

“You’re very welcome. Now, I believe there’s a little girl waiting on us.”

XXX

Tag List - Message me to be added or removed to either this series or the rest of my fics!

@jelly-fishy-babie @notahappytree @anxiousgoldengirl

#carlisle cullen #carlisle cullen x reader #carlisle cullen imagine #twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight imagines #twilight renessaince #twilight saga #twilight reboot #twilight renaissance #doctor daddy cullen #you guys can't tell but this whole story was one large self-insert #i started writing this at the beginning of the pandemic #was in the midst of my junior year and about to apply to dental schools #basically got rejected from all 19 schools i applied to only for one to rescind their rejection and offer me a spot for next year's class #it's a school in new york too!!#what are the odds?#for anyone struggling out there or feeling like things aren't going the way you want them to - life has a way of working out eventually #twilight fanfic

93 notes · View notes

blu-joons · 3 years

Text

When You Feel Insecure Around Them ~ Super Junior Reaction

Leeteuk:

You felt the bed dip as Jeongsu finally came to bed at the end of his shoot, wrapping his arm around your waist instinctively as he cuddled up to you, only to feel your hand grab his arm and remove it from around you.

“What are you doing?” He murmured, pressing a kiss against your shoulder. “I’ve not seen you all day, at least let me cuddle you for a little while and spend some time with you.”

Your head shook back at him, “you shouldn’t have to cuddle me, it’s unfair on you. Cuddle Shimkoong, she’s a lot nicer to cuddle than I ever am.”

“You’re talking nonsense, of course, you’re the one I want to cuddle.”

“I’m too big for you to cuddle up to me Jeongsu.”

His head shook, trailing several kisses against your shoulder. “I wish you realised a little more how beautiful you are in my eyes. You’re gorgeous Y/N, please.”

“How can you say such things when they’re simply not true?”

“Because they’re true to me,” he assured you, placing his arm back around you. “I’m not moving, I want to cuddle you, so that’s exactly what I’ll do.”

“You really don’t think that I’m too big for you to cuddle?”

“No way, you’re perfect for me to cuddle.”

Heechul:

He glanced across at you in confusion as you walked out of the bedroom dressed in a large jumper and one of Heechul’s old pairs of trousers. His eyes looked out of the window and then to you, struggling to understand.

“It’s so hot outside,” he pointed out to you, studying your outfit. “Why would you wear something so thick on a day like today? Have you not got any shorts here?”

You nodded, taking a seat on the sofa. “I’m comfortable in this, you don’t need to see me in shorts. I promise that I’m not too hot either, I’m doing alright.”

“Is this about the weather or about how comfortable you are with yourself?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, can you just drop it?”

His hands reached out to hold onto yours. “I want you to show off your body, it’s perfect. Please, go and change, you’d be a lot more comfortable too in this heat.”

“I don’t want to Heechul, I’m happy just wearing this and covering.”

“If you don’t go and do it, I will,” he smiled, picking you up from the sofa. “I want you to see a bit more of what I see in you, because I see perfection.”

“You can’t force me to change my outfit.”

“Watch me, I find a way to do anything.”

Yesung:

Any time that you visited SM kicked your insecurities into touch. Jonghoon had no idea where you’d gone after he went to greet the boys, eventually finding you sat at the back of the cafeteria lost in your own thoughts.

“There you are,” he smiled, following your gaze to where you looked across to a few of the backing dancers had walked in. “Are you on this planet right now or daydreaming.”

You jumped gently as he waved his hand over your face, “sorry,” you mumbled, biting down on your bottom lip. “I didn’t even realise that you were there.”

“You were too busy comparing yourself when there’s no need for you to do so.”

“How can I not? Look at them all, they’re stunning.”

His head shook gently, “look at you,” he mused, pointing to your figure. “I think you look better than any of them do, you’re the one that I love, that I’m obsessed with.”

“Why would you ever be obsessed with me of all people?”

“Because you’re you,” he chuckled as if it were obvious, “every single thing about you is all that I’ve ever wanted, that’s why I’m obsessed over you.”

“I’m sure there must be one thing wrong with me.”

“Nope, every single thing is perfect to me.”

Shindong:

He recognised the signs better than most of when you were feeling insecure, he’d seen them in himself for a number of years. Donghee approached you silently with his arms around your waist, pulling you onto the bed.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered into your ear before you even had the chance to speak. “I know what’s happening, and I’m going to put a stop to it right away.”

You sighed against his hold, “there’s nothing you can do to stop the way I see myself. I know you want to help me, but I just don’t see how you can.”

“Why don’t I remind you of all the things that you used to say to me?”

“You can’t use my own advice against me, that’s unfair.”

His head shook back at you, “you always used to make me feel better, so now it’s my turn to make you feel better. I’d be a rubbish boyfriend if I didn’t at least try.”

“You’re the perfect boyfriend, you could never be rubbish.”

“Just like you’re the perfect girlfriend,” he hummed, nudging you gently, “I don’t want you to feel like you’re anything less than perfect, especially for me.”

“You’re adorable sometimes, thank you Donghee.”

“Don’t thank me, because you do the same for me.”

Eunhyuk:

His abs had always been a trigger for your insecurities, Hyukjae’s body was incredible, a body that you could only ever dream of having. As he walked down the stairs and sat to dinner, he noticed you had nothing for yourself.

“What’s going on?” He asked, sensing straight away that something had caused you to give dinner a miss. “You’ve given me a plateful and yet you’re not eating a single thing.”

You glanced across at him, “I’ve decided to go on a diet, I need to focus a bit more on myself. I need to look better when I stand beside you, your body is incredible, and I don’t compare.”

“Do you realise how ridiculous you sound? The last thing you need is a diet.”

“Hyukjae, look at me, a diet is exactly what I need right now.”

“I look at you and I see perfection,” he frowned, dropping his fork and walking around the table to be by your side. “Please, eat some dinner. You can diet, but at least do it healthily.”

“I want to be better, for you, when you’re so amazing.”

“Don’t do this for me,” he pleaded, wrapping his arms over your shoulders. “If you want to do something for me, I’d want you to continue as you are.”

“I guess I could get a small portion for dinner.”

“Eat properly, please don’t hurt yourself like this.”

Siwon:

As he walked into the room and saw you spinning around in front of the mirror, he felt his heart drop. You looked beautiful in your dress for the evening, but Siwon knew straight away that wasn’t something that you saw.

“Wow,” he chuckled when he was close enough to you for you to hear. “I can’t believe I get to be the lucky guy that has you beside me tonight. You look incredible in that outfit.”

You pouted across at him with a shake of your head, “I look horrific. It just doesn’t fit me at all and highlights all my flaws. I really don’t think that I can wear this tonight.”

“Tell me what you think is wrong about it, and then let me prove you wrong.”

“We’d be here all night long if I told you what was wrong.”

His lips pressed against your cheek, snaking his arms around your waist. “I’d be more than happy to be here all night long and tell you all the things that I love about you.”

“If you did that, I’d honestly think you were crazy for having so much.”

“I’m crazy for you,” he whispered into your ear, “every single thing about you. Please don’t be too harsh on yourself because you’re perfect in my eyes.”

“Alright, I’ll wear this tonight, just for you though.”

“It looks stunning, I promise you Y/N.”

Donghae:

He’d lost count of how long he sat on the bed and watched you study yourself. Eventually, Donghae stood up from the bed and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your wrists to stop you from touching your skin.

“Can I talk for a moment?” He whispered in your ear, “because I want you to see a little bit more of what I see in you and remind you that you’re beautiful, and perfect for me.”

You spun around in his hold to meet his eyes, “how can I ever possibly be perfect for you Donghae? Look at me, you could seriously do a lot better than me if you’re honest.”

“Absolutely no way, you’re the one for me. You’re the perfect one in my eyes.”

“How can you possibly say that when I look like this?”

His eyes studied you closely, “how are you supposed to look, because when I look at you, I don’t see anything wrong with you? I see everything that I’ve ever wanted and more.”

“Do you really mean that? From the bottom of your heart?”

“Absolutely,” he assured you, kissing against your forehead. “You’re perfect for me, please don’t even feel like you’re not and beat yourself down.”

“I’ll try and do better, I promise you Donghae.”

“I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Ryeowook:

He sat patiently and listened to you as you vented to him about the new girl at work who seemed to have impressed every single one of your colleagues, pushing you aside as if you were nothing to the rest of the team.

“Finished?” He chuckled once you eventually paused for breath. “Can I tell you now why you’re completely wrong about her and why you’re so much better than she ever can be?”

You glanced across at him, “you didn’t see them Ryeowook, I felt like nothing beside her. She’s gorgeous, she has all the guys swooning over her in the office, it’s a joke.”

“Why do you need others to swoon over you when you have me to swoon over you?”

“You know what I mean, she has all their attention.”

His head nodded, pecking against your cheek. “I do know what you mean, but maybe all of your colleagues are stupid too for not realising what an incredible person you are.”

“None of them care about me now that she’s there.”

“That’s not true, I’m sure they all can see how gorgeous you are too,” he smiled, “you’re your own kind of beauty, you don’t need to compare yourself to her.”

“Thank you Wook, that made me feel better.”

“I’m glad, because you’re incredible as you are.”

Kyuhyun:

As soon as he felt you stand closer towards Kyuhyun could tell that something was wrong. He moved his arm to wrap tighter around you, pressing a kiss gently against the side of your head to try and make you feel better.

“Stop,” he whispered closely, “please don’t feel like you need to compare yourself to anyone here tonight, you’re beautiful and you look incredible,” he smiled, trying to comfort you.

You stared helplessly back across at him. “I don’t look anywhere near as nice as the other people here tonight, you don’t need to try and make you feel better Kyu.”

“I’m being serious, you’re stunning, even if you can’t see it in yourself.”

“But there’s so many beautiful women here tonight.”

His shoulders shrugged, pinching at your waist. “And none of them compare to you in my eyes, I know it’s hard, but just smile, and trust me when I tell you that you look incredible tonight.”

“You always know how to make me feel better.”

“I won’t stop until you see yourself in the same way that I see you,” he assured you, meeting your eyes. “I’d love for you to see what I see when I look at you Y/N.”

“Maybe one day I will, with your help too.”

“I’ll always support you, I promise you jagi.”

---

Masterlist

136 notes · View notes