#alcoholism sucks

[i-am-not-your-little-princess]

What this week has taught me: no matter what you do with your life, or in your life, you still die.

You could do everything right; eat healthy and exercise, not drink, and still develop stage 4 cancer, or get hit by a car while crossing the street.

Life is so unkind to the people who deserve it the most.

#thats life #everyone dies in the end #2 am thoughts #life is brutal #cancer sucks #alcoholism sucks #addiction sucks #what's the point if we're all just going to die in the end anyway?

[flitzibun]

Listening to him talk, I felt it as if I had lived it.

I was in over my head.

My pupils opened so wide, all I could see was him. I know that was unhealthy. I overempathized with him. If I could comfort him, I could Be There For Him. I wanted to hold him all the time. Mostly he wouldn't stand for it for more than a minute. But unable to hold him up, he pulled me down into the depths with him.

We lived in what amounted to a cave. The first time I saw his bedroom, it was so dark I couldn't tell that the sheets were navy. I thought they were black. Little did I know what a fastidiously clean man I had found. ❤️I had already lived with one guy who left sand, printing ink, and potato chip crumbs in the bed, and another who thought nothing of getting out of the shower at a hotel, drying off, then sitting, no, *planting* his (admittedly showered) asshole right ON HIS PILLOW. And threatening the same to mine. Or he'd put his feet on my pillow. I don't care, no feet on my pillow!🤮 Not straight out of the hotel pool, and then walked barefoot on hotel carpet, not on MY pillow! Preferably not on your pillow either, but not even right out of the shower. I've seen my feet. They're not great.

Back to our dark cave bedroom...

It was hard to fold clothes.

And that cave was his depths where he liked to be. Like a catfish. Like that time that he told me about, when he got wicked drunk or high and fell asleep on a dock somewhere nearby, and woke up underwater, after he fell off the dock.

It was like he had nine lives. I saw firsthand probably a few of his other Close Calls, mostly drug related at that point.

Driving to Lantern Hill in advance of the Spring Equinox was SCARY. Driving home was worse. He missed obvious road signs. It was not soon enough that I realized that he needed turn by turn directions. We kinda got lost trying to get to 95 in Stonington.

Then we rode the rumble strip most of the way up 95. I closed my eyes. I told him I was scared... I asked him to let me drive and he refused. It was near our anniversary last year, 2023.

We could have died. Maybe we should have. That's how I wanted to go, right by his side.

I have a note somewhere of what he told me he was on that day and night.

He would use that memory of waking up underwater to calm himself, to slow his breathing and heart rate. I wouldn't be surprised if he had been timing how long he could hold his breath underwater.

I wonder if he did this a lot after his mom died. I can't quite remember specific dates and years.

I was scared of the things he was doing, until I got desensitized. He always boils poppies when his neck hurts. Sure, I was disappointed when he'd do a poppy boil for fun instead of pain management. Once he was unemployed and feeling like half a man, he could do a boil early and have the smell gone by the time I got home from work. He told me not to worry. He could dwell and spiral and sleep 90% of the day away.

I knew it was bad. He could never admit quite how bad. He couldn't even admit that I saw what I saw, or that I heard what I heard.

The time I woke him up in the kitchen at like 2am. And he screamed at me, WHERE WERE YOU? I don't know what he meant. I don't know what he was on, or had drunk.

In January of last year, he went to rehab. I really need to learn. He made it one week exactly. I have the bamboo smoking piece thingy that he wrote his sobriety date on- Jan 17th.

He left because the residential part was going to be way overcrowded. I don't remember speaking to doctors, myself. So he drove himself home and tried not to drink. Then March. He didn't kill us in the car, he didn't fall off Lantern Hill to his death. But it was close.

If he had stayed at rehab. He needed so very much therapy.

Is it in any way possible that he will not move on to the other side until it's my time to go too? Because he told me once, that when he gets to the other side, I'm the first one that he wants to look for. I'm the only person that he wants to see there besides his mom. Initially. I don't know if that means that he'll wait for me outside the pearly gates, or if he'll hang around here and give me signs.

Or if I just deceive myself that I can still communicate with him and feel close to him, who does it hurt?

#alcoholism sucks #danger #my heathcliff #love of my life #flitzibun #conspiracy theories #spilling beans #true crime

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

#personal #dumb #my art #immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it #cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going “fuck that” and making a satir #scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance. #“The Critical Drinker” (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol. #and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator #scrolled through the comments #second panel face #this sucks i'm outta here. #just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for “not understanding what fascism is” #idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going “wow yeah that was pretty obvious huh” like literally the from opening #to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to “those who serve their nation first and earn it” #and then seeing droves of people online going #WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's #the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.

[becca-e-barnes]

I think too much in real life to fully let myself enjoy some activities so I'm going to live vicariously through the characters I write 🙃

He's here for pleasure. You're not under any illusion about his intentions. Sure, he'll let you snuggle up beside him afterwards, playing with the little soft curls on his chest. He'll kiss your forehead and smooth your hair and you'll laugh together about the silliest things but it's no secret that it's the sex that keeps him coming back.

Secretly, it's exactly what you need too. It works well for both of you. You get someone who has the confidence and experience to show you things you didn't even think you'd be into and you get to simply enjoy the way he gets off on pleasuring you. There's no need to feel shy around a man who's told you his secret filthy fantasies.

"What's one thing you've always wanted to do but have never had a chance to?" You probe one evening, taking your necklace off and placing it on the bedside table, well aware he's probably wearing more of your lipgloss that you are after the way he greeted you at the hotel room door.

You hop onto the bed to take your shoes off, enjoying how the mattress bounces you slightly.

He doesn't answer right away, pouring two glasses of a sweet, chilled Riesling before handing one to you. You take a sip, trying not to put him under pressure but the time he's taking to consider your question makes you even more curious.

"If I tell you, I'd like you to try it with me. So how badly do you want to know?" He stands in front of you and places the glass to his lips and in that moment, you couldn't want anything more than you want to fulfil a fantasy for him. You want to be something he's never had and offer him opportunities to enjoy your body that he might never have again.

"Tell me. We'll do it." You hardly even have to think about it.

"I'd like to lick you. All of you. Run my tongue all over your body. Find what makes you shiver. Find what makes you moan. Find the places that are so ticklish you need me to stop. I want to lick all the places you've never been licked before. If you'll let me." He really could make anything sound appealing.

Excitement fizzles in your core and a real desperation begins to build. Just being around this man makes you wet so you can't help the fact you're ready for him already.

"If that's what you want to do, I'll let you." If you're honest with yourself, you'd probably agree no matter what he asked for. You trust him enough to know he won't take you further than you're comfortable with.

~~~

You knew what you were signing up for but you didn't think it'd feel like this. Why the hell haven't you tried this before?

He's kneeling at the end of the bed, stroking his cock while his hot, wet, stiff tongue flicks gently against your asshole and there's no denying how much you're enjoying the pressure there. You couldn't hide it if you tried. You're so wet, you're practically dripping and it only spurs him on. It's intimate in a way you don't think you'll ever recover from while being one of the most erotic things you think he's ever done. There's nothing to be embarrassed about it when it's clear he's enjoying it just as much as you are. Maybe more.

The way you're gripping his hair has you wondering whether the strain on his tongue or his neck will overwhelm him first but he shows no signs of relenting. That is until he stands up, already looking delightfully over-pleasured and sinks his cock into your fluttering, neglected cunt without a word.

If he goes too fast it's all over and he knows it but he can't resist holding both of your ankles, watching you while he places open mouthed kisses to the soles of your feet, thrusting into you with slow, calculated strokes.

#becca writes spice #becca's thots #dbf!bucky #dads best friend! bucky #I just want to get some of my personal needs out before I go back to writing requests #I have a couple more fantasies that I can't shake so I'll have to write those soon #I had an assignment due this afternoon and oh boy #Leaving it to 9pm last night before I got started was a plan that I knew would suck #but I was in my second job all last week and couldn't be bothered starting any earlier than that #so I worked from home today to tackle the sleepies #and I spent all day working from bed with an Easter egg so like... pretty good Monday #tw: alcohol mention #tw: alcohol #can you tell I've been to one single wine tasting event 💅🏻

[joejoeba]

I dont think I ever posted this?

Alcoholism cw / tw

#bruabba #Bruno Bucciarati #Leone Abbacchio #Vento Aureo #jjba golden wind #Alcoholism #CW alcoholism #I knew a person who could only genuinely be loving when drunk. #Knew more than one person who was only 'genuine' when drunk. Shot sucks.

[cerealkillerfr]

dont be mad. please

@cry-ptidd

Please dont be mad at me-

So a few months ago i made the drawing of Michael and Laura shittalking you in the manor, and i will admit, getting a response made my day

And I will admit

I am absolutely in love with your art, and Laura

So i wasnt sure about posting these because i didnt want to seem like a weirdo, but i spent time on these so-

Here:

I dont know why i can imagine these two being good friends, and these original pictures made me snort and since i was bored, i drew these guys

#michael bancroft #laura chastel #hellsing ultimate #tired #digital art #hellsing #oc art #original character #french #romanian #sapphic #gay #not my oc #imsorrynev #it sucks so bad #i swear im normal #i swear im not crazy #im dying #tired of this shit #alcoholic #werebat #werewolf

[annabelle--cane]

you! person who talks about how "everyone has an addiction" and mainly means phones/video games! quick quick, tell me how you feel about people who compulsively use drugs!

#head in my haaaands. if this is how you chose to conceptualize all unhealthy relationships to nonliving physical objects #then at least let it build some compassion and solidarity for people with substance use disorders #'everyone has an addiction and there's no shame in that! well unless it's drugs alcohol or gambling. those people suck.' dude. #absolutely not interested in litigating what I mean here so no rebloggie for you. sorry. #marina marvels at life

[ash-and-burn]

#i suck at writing #kinda wishing i went with spiked mustard bottle but im venting abt alcohol so eh #underfell #uf sans #kustard #my art #comic

[chrliekclly]

me talking abt th high school -> current deetress timeline

#'huh. wow you are very forgettable.' denial or alcohol abuse? u decide. (im sure theres a great deal of switching back nd forth) #deetress #dee reynolds #iasip #shitpost #screencap #bro these cc suck SO HARD but netflix took down this episode lmfao 😭😭😭 not evn th vpn cd save me #n e way i lov th thought of dee actively obliterating or rejecting every memory of th waitress from hs cuz it was Too Much #the gang recycles their trash #burn these clothes

[skankhunt44]

#memes #funny #lol #humor #meme #jokes #tw alcohol #drinking #new meds #tw meds #taking meds just to half your weekend trips to the fucking bar atm #bar atms fucking suck bro they cost so fucking much but you dont care at the time and dont remember until your statement comes #dank meme #dank memes #dank #dank humor #shitposter #shitpost

[skellydun]

getting drunk and building legooooos let's gooooo

#i am so ready to have a chill night in for the first weekend in FOREVER #and i have alcohol left over from the party last weekend and pokemon legos!!!!!!! that i suck at putting together #how is everyones night goin?

[royaielfroot]

save me the terror nurse au,..,the terror nurse au..save me..💉🩻🩺

#francis is on medical leave bc of alcoholism when he gets back james is the obnoxious head nurse that replaced him #i think about them daily #au also includes jopson and irving fucking and sucking in a locker room probs #the terror

[dykeydean]

more about alcoholism // dean winchester

#i made this in like 4 hours so it kind of sucks but its ok #could not get it out of my head so its out in the world now <3 #dean #dean winchester #spn amv #fan vid #my edits #amv #ezra posts #destiel #dean and alcohol

[jarviscockerssecrethusband]

Steve had heard a lot about Billy before he ever met him.

The Hargrove’s had arrived during Shabbat so Steve was busy trying to wrangle his dyslexia into actually reading Hebrew for once while Hargrove was making his unforgettable impression on everyone. Still, Jonathan Byers and Dustin Henderson went to his Shul so Steve felt like he already knew the guy by the time Monday came knocking.

The way Henderson described him was like a cartoon monster, probably because he’d already developed a crush on his kid sister. The way Byers described him was almost with a quiet admiration. A guy flagging in small town Indiana had a lot of balls.

Hargrove was hot. Naturally. Almost scarily blonde, kind of like Jason Carver. Definitely Catholic. Could definitely ruin Steve’s life if he put his mind to it.

They didn’t officially talk until Halloween. Steve wasn’t drunk but he was one of the few. Tommy had been trying to get him to eat pork for a solid hour. Because it was so funny that Steve had religious dietary restrictions when they were all hammered.

Hargrove rolled his eyes and told Tommy to knock him off. He was about three inches shorter than Steve but he felt taller. Judging by the tightness of his leather pants, he’d been blessed by God in more than just his angelic good looks. That is, if the Christian God made angels who swayed slightly on their feet and were at the point of the night where everything smelled kind of old boots.

They ended up just talking. Nancy had gone god knows where after dumping his ass for Byers, Steve was pretty bummed after the sudden collapse of a year long relationship, even if he was slowly realising that he was gay, and Hargrove was happy to just have a chat. They debated the merits of Indiana Jones vs James Bond, then Steve drove him home.

The Hargrove house was absolutely fucking terrifying. Externally, it was just a fairly average place for a working class family of four but the confederate flag on Neil Hargrove’s pickup truck gave Steve pause. As did the old belt hanging out the back. Spikes attached.

Billy crashed at Steve’s instead. He said several lewd things about a mixture of girls and boys from Hawkins High, attempted to write a poem about Steve’s ass then promptly passed out and started snoring.

So. Billy Hargrove liked guys. Steve also liked guys. It wasn’t weird. Not unless Steve made it as such. They’d be fine.

It was not fine.

Billy had vanished by the time Steve woke up the following morning. He’d penned a short thank you note in very fancy handwriting, telling Steve that if anyone found out what had happened, he was dead. Eh. Steve had threatened worse.

He didn’t see Billy for about a week after that. Not until the blue Camaro parked outside the Byers. While there was a demodog just lying on the floor of the kitchen and Max was under Steve’s care.

Shit.

Steve sensed that flirting would not get him out of this one.

So he tried to act macho. Puffing out his chest. Peacocking just like Hargrove. Until Max’s ginger hair peeled out the window and he had to change tactics again.

Steve was not going to let his new crush get eaten by an alien. So he told him the truth.

Billy smoked five cigarettes right down to the filter while staring in horror at the creature on the kitchen floor. Ash got all over Joyce’s nice wooden floors. Nobody brought him up on it.

Then Billy’s face steeled and he fished a red bandana out of one of his pockets (Steve would pay attention to which side it had been on when he didn’t fear for his life) and grabbed his lighter.

“Let’s send these assholes to Hell.”

Steve couldn’t agree more.

Billy was not happy about having to sign a contract afterwards. Grumbling about how government was authoritarian bullshit. Still, he wrote his name with a flourish and asked to pull one of the scary government people to the side.

He did something unexpected when he finally emerged from the room afterwards. He kissed Steve. Apparently Steve hadn’t been making up a mutual crush in his head after all.

They had their first date a little before Christmas. Billy took him to Makeout Point. Fun was had. Then Billy drove Steve back to the Harringtons and made him watch Star Trek. Fucking nerd.

Six months went by and Steve never met Neil. He’d heard a lot about him, his opinion of African-Americans and Mexicans and Jews were dark and ugly and made Steve want to smash his teeth in. What cemented that opinion was that Billy was still coming to Steve’s with bruises patterning his torso, a split lip, broken toes.

It was the day when Neil had cracked Billy’s ribs that Steve decided to take matters into his own hands. Billy wasn’t well enough to come but Steve decided to have a little trip to the Hargrove’s, bat in hand. To have a talk.

Neil called Steve a kike and both of them faggots. There wasn’t a lot of talking after that.

Nobody knew quite where Neil had ran off to after that evening. Not even Steve. Not that he minded, as long as he stayed far away from Max and Billy.

He had Billy now, wearing his stupid leather pants as a joke, forcing him to watch more Star Trek. That was all that really mattered.

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove ficlet #jewish steve harrington #tw antisemitism #tw racism #Neil sucks obviously #surprise Billy is bi and Steve is gay #tw alcohol use #just in case #tw abuse #tw f slur #tw k slur

[cherriiramen]

I want my iPad back, I miss digital drawing.🧎‍♀️

There’s so much projects I have left in order to study, and this is all I can draw between studying breaks 😪

The bottom doodle is a thing I whipped up with mon ami @friendlyvictory where Grantaire wakes up in the middle of a bush (it’s a long funny story but basically part of his drunk shenanigans) and says he’s only been hitting the hay for a few hours and Enjolras replies with the speech said huehuehe

#enjoltaire #granjolras #grantaire x enjolras #les miserables #les mis #ship art #drawing #my hyperfixation is getting worse #exams are going to suck me into the void within the next few minutes so I posted this and fled with my skin #grantaire #enjolras #hrjenejen #i love the stinky alcoholic trash cat and his salty arsonist twink #victor hugo

[poppy-metal]

pops in to say eddie corrupts innocent!reader having her first beer by spliting a beer can open down the middle with his pocket knife and letting it all spill down his bare chest and down his pelvis and soaking his jeans, tummy flexing in the warm light and skin glistening from the wet liquid staining his body. he leans back with his hands braced on the counter behind him, beer can tossed aside carelessly, and nods down to his sticky crotch, his soaked upper body, "you wanted to try it, hm? c'mere and get your fill, princess."

watches you with hooded eyes as you kneel down in front of him like a curious little kitten with eager intrest. the smell of the beer is sour, but the sight of his skin all damp makes your mouth water up anywya, like you're so parched you can't stand it. his fingers clench around the edge of the counters, watching you look so excited making his cock chub up.

he nods when you look up at him, "its okay. stick your tongue out? yeah- like that. good girl." he praises you when you do as your told, "press it over my cock, sweetheart. and suck."

your cunt spasms, heat rushing all down your body as your tongue touches the soaked denim of his jeans, right over the bulge at his crotch. the bitter taste of the beer fills your mouth, and almost on autopilot your mouth wraps around his head through his jeans, sealing your lips around him and sucking- sucking until a mouthful of spit mixed with beer fills your mouth and eddie moans above you, his abdomen flexing.

you pull back, lip your lips. you think you might form an alcohol problem if this is your source.

"want more."

#drink up baby #poppy speaks #tw: alcohol #fades into the abyss again #next time he makes you suck it right off his cock directly. pours it and then fucks himself down your throat #tells you #eddie spaghetti #eddie munson smut