#i made this in like 4 hours so it kind of sucks but its ok

[dykeydean]

more about alcoholism // dean winchester

#i made this in like 4 hours so it kind of sucks but its ok #could not get it out of my head so its out in the world now <3 #dean #dean winchester #spn amv #fan vid #my edits #amv #ezra posts #destiel #dean and alcohol

[elendsessor]

on the 8th of this month, wii u and 3ds servers are shutting down, and i really cannot stress enough how horrible that is not just on a preservation point but how it affects the future of gaming and i think the monster hunter games on both consoles put that into perspective.

ignoring the overall boom in at least 3ds online play because of how easy it is to hack it, i noticed a lot of games are focused more on matchmaking than anything and it’s depressing. while i haven’t done any of 3u’s hub stuff yet, 4u is a perfect example of why we need online hubs.

i mean aside from how wrong val habar’s hub’s gonna look without players in it especially when an entire lively cutscene shows it off, there is nothing like how hubs worked in old school. 3u and 4/4u’s hubs aren’t locked behind capcom servers and frankly it was all the more welcoming. you’re given so much incentive to interact with players. speaking from my own experiences since i still play online from time to time, the amount of people i met through and talked with in the span of 3-4 hour sessions did help me get used to actually talking and coordinating with others. learned a lot of useful tips, too.

idk there’s something about being forced into a lil hunter family for awhile that is completely unmatched. just being put into online matchups doesn’t. i feel like there’s a lot more toxicity when playing with randos period since you aren’t forced to get along. you don’t even need voice chat for it yet unless you do enable vc or you’re playing with friends, it does make it harder to connect with others.

gu’s switch servers are still up but the problem there comes from how the nintendo switch does online. first ok switch’s online servers suck ass. i’ve had more problems with it than i did with the 3ds and the 3ds is significantly older and is on weaker hardware that shouldn’t be acceptable. but also you have to pay for the online stuff in a subscription format which automatically alienates a good chunk of players. why pay for a crappy online service anyways especially when it’s a lot to begin with and people do not have that kind of money to waste anymore. unless you consistently play on a switch there is no reason to get it. i noticed back in the animal crossing new horizons days how quickly the online dies off mainly because there’s not much to do. new leaf had a hub of its own in a sense (aka the entire town), especially with tortimer island having mini games. after the acnh boom there was nothing, and really the only people who had their islands open were ones for turnip prices and if they had someone like celeste. you’d go in, do whatever, then leave.

old school monster hunter has what i believe to be the most ideal online play and the fact that it’s being taken away is genuinely depressing. there are currently work in progress 3ds servers being made, namely pretendo, but as wonderful as they are, i don’t think it’s fair to anyone that the only way you can see your online friends is through fan servers you’ll have to go through a process to even try and play online.

#i have feelings #shantien rambles #monster hunter #nintendo 3ds #3ds #nintendo

[piffany666]

Ok just one more punk progeny won't hurt~

Chapter 4: the sun

TW: this Chapter contains purposefully induced PTSD flashbacks, self harm and smoking if any of these topics make you uncomfortable I recommend you scroll to below the red line, past this line is after the potentially uncomfortable situation ends.

Ftm trans Bright eyes (he/him pronouns)

Bright smoked as he sat on the roof of the solaire mansion.

Not so long ago he renounced smoking and demoted himself to vapeing but he made the compelling argument of 'its not like vampires can get lung cancer' besides, when he exhaled smoke protruded out of the bite holes in his neck and to him that was a compelling enough reason.

As he exhaled, the memories he'd made over the last few hours played in his head.

He did have a lot of fun with Vincent. It did feel good to hang out with another vampire that wasn't Sam, Fred or just some guy he met at a bar because his friends sucked.

So....why was he here?

He looked towards the horizon as he took a drag of the cigarette, in the direction of Wonder World.

The sun was creeping almost menacingly over the horizon but Bright had some time to kill before the sun came out of hiding.

He had a good day. He had found someone to talk to besides Tanker that truly understood him.

So why. Was. He. Here?

He asked himself again, eyes still attached to the horror movie set of a place he was made in.

Finally he closed his eyes, allowing the smoke to coil around him.

He remembered everything....he remembered everything as if it happened only yesterday.

The way the excitement melted away into dread and horror as the skull of Quinn's last victim rolled into view.

The way Fred ran, the way Bright lingered on a little longer than him.

Fred may have begun running before him but Bright was faster and it wasn't long before he overtook him.

Somewhere along the way Fred had fallen behind.

It was a good thing Fred told him to keep going because he probably would have kept running anyway and Fred would probably hate him even more than he already dose if that had been the case.

At least that's what Bright told himself.

Bright's heart rate began to increase so he instinctually took another drag.

He kept. On. Running.

Eventually the sound of his best friend's voice got quiet, whether or not it was due to distance or the fact that he was dead wouldn't be known until later on.

Because of this, Bright allowed himself to slow down. How many worst mistakes of your life can you make in one night?

Until eventually he heard a sound that could only be described as "woosh" and he was knocked to the ground along with his breath.

A low groan came from him before the ability to breathe was put into question.

Then HE appeared.

At first he was just a silhouette then his features became visible as he grabbed Bright's wrists and dropped his knees onto his stomach and chest.

He could still hear his voice...

"You should have listened to your friend little mouse~ didn't anybody tell you not to stay out late

On Halloween?~"

Bright scratched at his neck as if to swat him away, but he wasn't there.....all he did was reopen the wound.

The cigarette fell from his lips and onto the roof where he held his knees in his hands.

Nothing he did NOW would change what happened THEN so the memory played on.

He continued scratching at the bite mark as the situation played out in his head, desperately trying to get through the memory of the second most painful experience of his life.

Whether it was the blood loss or the sophistication, eventually everything just....stopped.

The pain....stopped.

Exept there was no breath left in him to let out a sigh of relief.

For what seemed like forever but upon looking back what was probably only a couple minutes, Bright just layed there, body numb from the feeling of nothing.

It felt....nice

Like he never had to feel any kind of pain ever again, physical or otherwise.

But then like a defibrillator to the neck, he was jolted back to semi consciousness.

He wouldn't describe himself as awake but he could see what was happening to him, his best friend, the one guy he least expected to hurt him in any way, in the same position as his killer,

Sucking at the bite mark left by him.

Bright felt himself wince as what was left of his bloody insides were slurped up into Fred.

When Fred's mouth left Bright's neck, Bright assumed it was over so he let himself go numb, which only made it sting more when Fred ripped his own neck wound and lowered himself so it flowed like a fountain into Bright's mouth.

At first he began spluttering and choking but then he gave up on struggling and allowed himself to drown.

He couldn't speak at the time, he knew that, but in his mind he heard himself screaming at Fred to stop and that he didn't understand what he was doing

But he knew he wanted him to stop.

But he did not waver till there was no more blood to give and when he drained himself dry he collapsed next to him.

They were both looking to the sky when they died together.

Bright's eyes jolted open as he began screaming in anger, agony and regret

The sun had finally made its way past the threshold of the horizon and the only thing protecting him from its burn was the shadow that the solaire mansion cast, so amongst the screaming that went unheard, he pulled back his sleeve and removed his glove that did its best to hide the battle scares from him and the sun's past encounters, and he shoved his arm into the light.

His screaming became more of a hiss as he felt his skin burn and sizzle

_________________________________________

He didn't know when he planned to stop

But luckily somone wasn't going to let him make that choice.

He felt himself being pulled backwards then he was swiftly turned around to face the figure that pulled him, however he wasn't able to see their face as his face was being held close to the chest of his saviour.

He could feel arms cover his body as if to shield him, he could hear a hiss come from the body that held him, almost to threaten the light that burned him.

Eventually the figure loosened their grip, allowing Bright to look up at them

It was William.

He didn't look angry, he just looked....protective...?

Like the sun had attempted to take somthing important from him.

After a moment of this, he no short of scooped Bright up and made a motion that could only be described as "wooshed" him down from the roof, sticking to the shadows.

Bright blinked and then he found himself in William's office again, still huddled in his arms.

William placed him onto the chair he sat in last time and looked him in the eyes.

"Were going to talk about what you were just doing, but before any of that I need to heal you, it will hurt more than it did last time, is that OK?"

Through tears that Bright couldn't prevent from falling, he nodded.

Before he began his work, William removed his belt and gave it to Bright

"You'll be needing this" Bright knew what to do.

He placed the flattened rope of leather into his mouth and felt his teeth press into it.

"Alright" William said to no one in particular.

The burn wound was very visible and within healing range but Bright was a very....skittish person so William wanted to be as careful as possible.

He slowly intertwined his fingers with Bright's and brought his arm up to him. He let go of Bright's hand and took his arm into both his hands to place it in front of him.

He looked at Bright one last time then began to work.

It was just like last time exept the feeling was throughout his whole arm, Bright tried his best to be still for him but he couldn't stop himself from kicking and squirming, he continued to bite into the belt he held in his mouth, tears now streaming down his face.

After healing his arm he moved onto his bite wound that now had a claw mark that was bound to scar.

After a good few minutes of that, William let go as fast as he could.

"There it's done"

Bright spat the belt out his mouth and a spluttering noise came from him as the tears continued.

After Bright had fully composed himself, he looked up at William who had a look of sympathy on his face, but not pity

Never pity.

"H-how did you know I was - that I would?-"

"Fred had told Sam that he could feel you feeling.....bad and that he worried you were going to 'do something stupid' Sam informed me of this and when I heard a scream come from the roof and given where the sun is currently, let's just say I put two and two together"

Looks like his literal cry for help didn't fall on deaf ears this time.

William looked Bright dead in the eyes, the look of sympathy still plastered on his face.

"I wouldn't describe what you just did as stupid, I'd describe it as....understandable but equally unfortunate"

Bright looked down

"Bright, I am older than you could ever imagine, I can recognise a cry for help when I see one"

At that, he picked the belt up from the floor and began to re applie it to his waist.

He then sat on the edge of his desk

"Talk"

This wasn't a command as much as it was an invitation but Bright still felt like he didn't want to know what would happen if he didn't do what he told him.

"W-well i-i" he took a moment to compose himself and breathed in

"I spent the day with Vincent"

"Oh?"

"Y-yeah, I had a lot of fun....it was nice"

"I'm glad"

"But i-i.....I don't deserve it....there is SO much I don't deserve...so i-i guess this was kinda like a...l-like a-"

"A punishment"

Bright looked up at him

"Y-yeah...I know it's stupid of me I just-"

"No it isn't. It's completely understandable, I mean since the very beginning of your vampire life everyone you have ever had to interact with has blamed you for what happened and since you agree with them, I can see why you wouldn't deem yourself worthy of happiness"

Bright was stunned, he knew he was old but he didn't exactly expect him to hit the nail on the head with this one.

"Y-Yeah..."

"Are you a man of faith Bright?"

Bright looked confused at the sudden seemingly off topic question.

"Why?"

"A few centuries ago there was a vampire I knew who was very religious and he believed himself to be worthy of hell, but since that was never going to be, he made sure his immortality, or what he called purgatory, would be filled with nothing but misery because he believed himself to be worthy of nothing but just that, misery."

William then got up and went rooting in one of his draws.

Giving Bright a minute to marinate on what he had been told.

William eventually pulled out a small piece of paper and then went over to Bright

"Here I want you to have this, but I want you to know that this dose not contribute to your decision, you may take this regardless of your decision"

Bright took the paper from him.

When he un-crumpled it he saw that it was a phone number and a name he couldn't pronounce but that didn't tell him much.

"What is this?"

"It's the phone number to the best therapist in the area, I'll pay for it however like I previously stated, I will do so regardless of whether or not you agree to be my progeny"

Bright's eyes became wide, he had wanted a therapist that actually knew what they were doing since before he died.

"Thank you"

He said breathlessly

"It's no trouble, I'll let you know when I inform him of the payment situation, now, it's time for you to sleep, I assume you've been having trouble with the sleeping situation so I recommend you start going to sleep at this time for now on"

"O-ok"

Bright had slept here many times before so he had no trouble finding his guest room but before he left, he thanked William one more time.

William nodded and smiled.

When Bright left William picked up his phone.

.........

"I trust you made it here safely then?~"

.........

"Good I'm glad to hear that, you're earlier than we agreed, miss your old home that much hmm?~"

..........

"Alright, Alright I won't jest, I suppose I just wanted to lighten the mood given the circumstances of your return"

..........

"Alright, oh! And there's somone I think you should meet, I think the two of you would get along very well~"

Taggs: @darlin-collins @anexistingexistence @you-think-i-care-mate

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #ok just one more punk progeny won't hurt~ #redacted solaire clan #redacted bright eyes #redacted william #self harm comfort #comfort #tw self destructive behavior #tw self h4rm #tw smoking #redacted fanfic #redacted fic #redacted frederick

[confessions-official]

i’ve tried to start crocheting recently and i CANNOT do a chain stitch. i just can’t. i’ve looked up multiple different ways, i’ve tried each of them many times but my hands are just. Not doing it right??? i am actually on the verge of a meltdown because What the Fuck i have spent an HOUR trying to do an allegedly easy thing. specifically it’s the yarning over thats fucking everything up for me. i am trying so so hard but i am ass at anything to do with coordination and i would like to have another body please. i would like a refund on my flesh suit or at least my brain because it’s really amazingly shitty at working like it’s supposed to. i am genuinely considering staying home sick from school for the rest of the week so i can keep trying to make this goddamn motherfucking chain stitch.

and i can’t talk to anyone about this or anything coordination-related that i struggle with because they’ll say “its fine, practice makes perfect, nobody gets it on their first try” and its like. okay but YOU are not experiencing this. YOU do not have to deal with being disabled even though 1) your disability isn’t recognized as a disability even though it is extremely fucking disabling which sucks because 2) i am diagnosed with this, i was diagnosed with it at a young age i will be dealing with this for the rest of my fucking life it impacts literally every facet of everything which makes it more infuriating that 3) mostly people don’t fucking know what it is. which makes it very tiring whenever i talk about it because i have to preface the conversation with an explanation of what it is. and whenever i’m explaining this to someone as a reason for why i can’t do a thing or will do badly at a thing they’ll be like “ok well you shouldnt let that impact you so much, stop using it as an excuse” because 4) most people do not consider it a physical disability. they just don’t! which is. kind of wild to me. because like. yeah the disorder that makes everything involving coordination 100 times more difficult DO interfere with my daily life, actually. nobody gets that. it’s not that i’m clumsy, my legs just don’t work like they should. i can’t even run for longer than a couple seconds without needing to lay down for a couple minutes.

my body doesn’t work right. thats it. thats the whole thing. it doesnt work how it should and that’s fucked up every single part of my life. “dyspraxic children may be more vulnerable to bullying and social rejection” YEAH NO SHIT! even as a kid in PE classes i could see everybody else doing things that my body just wouldn’t. i tried for years but i am simply not built for that. and of fucking course thats going to get you othered, rejected and bullied, which if it happens enough times will fuck up your social skills for A While. i’m not trying to mope around about it because i understand that it’s not that bad a disorder, it is disabling but other disabilities are more disabling and i can mostly pretend i don’t need any accommodations. thats fine. i can do that. its just that the fucking chain stitch made me realize “oh, fuck. i know why my life is like this.” and maybe i am having a very strong reaction about not being able to do a chain stitch but i don’t know. it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, i guess. like, i can’t do any sports or most art, i don’t have any friends, i don’t go out and do things and i can’t even do a fucking chain stitch? i can’t even do that? i probably will end up getting it in a while but idk. i just want to crochet, man. i don’t know why this is so difficult for me. i wish i wasn’t like this. i wish i was better. like, just in general i want to be better. i’ve tried but i can’t. i just want a body and brain that work how they’re supposed to. i don’t see why i have to work twice as hard as everyone for the same results. i know nothing in life is fair but jesus christ this is ridiculous. i’m very “sad, down on his luck protagonist who gets sucked into a whirlwind adventure” coded. i am. going to start crying

.

#confession

[pipermca]

Writing Year in Review - 2023

I have to say, 2023 was an odd year for me.

I finally made it to TFCon again (after taking a long hiatus during the pandemic), and it was absolutely lovely to see everyone. I got to meet some new folks face-to-face, and meet up again with people I'd met in 2019. Spouse came with me this time, and he had a pretty good time (despite only being a TF fan via osmosis).

We did no other travel, though. Part of that was because we got a new cat, so we're back to needing to make kenneling arrangements before going anywhere. And as much of a joy as our cat is, that has made travel a little more inconvenient.

I had some major disruptions at work this year, completely upending the end of my summer and start of fall. As a direct result of this, the coming year is going to be extremely challenging work-wise as I get caught up on some things. Hopefully by late summer 2024, the pressure will be off and I can relax again (back into my usual level of work-related stress).

I also had my first round of Covid in 2023, which absolutely sucked. F minus, not recommended. I came very close to going to the ER during the worst of it, and the aftermath continued to kick my ass for months. The fatigue and brain fog was real, but the other health issues that it produced are still with me. Thank god for vaccines; I don't know how things might have gone if I hadn't been vaccinated.

In the coming year, I am going to try to focus on being kind to myself, both mentally and physically. Part of that is going to include the expectations I'm setting for myself for writing.

In December, I wrote 5,500 words, most of it in the story I've started posting, A Matter of Propriety. The story is still being posted (and I need to finish writing it!!) and I'm hoping to keep up my once-a-week posting schedule. If I can't make good progress on the next chapter this week, I'll probably drop into an every-other-week schedule instead, just so I can maintain my chapter buffer. (The story will likely have eight chapters total.)

For the year, in 2023 I wrote 62,502 words. Most of that was on A Matter of Propriety and Again and Again and Again (my TF Big Bang fic). However, I only posted 24,184 words to AO3, split between 4 completed works. (A Matter of Propriety will finish in 2024, so its stats will eventually count for that year.)

Most months I didn't set a specific word count goal, and that's ok. But possibly as a result, my output was all over the map. The two major peaks are in April (when I did the bulk of my Big Bang fic writing), and July (when I got a smutty fic idea and banged (hah) it out really quick).

Like always, my average words per hour is pretty consistent, although not as much as in previous years. Still, it shows that when I do sit down and write, I get consistent work done.

As I mentioned, I didn't make specific writing goals most months, but when I did, I never reached them. That tells me I am setting my goals too high, and I need to be more realistic.

As for the goals I set for myself for 2023, I did pretty awful. 😅 Again, I think I was just setting expectations too high for myself.

Finish Sun and Moon (working title) Nope. I barely worked on it at all.

Finish one Sparkr story (any of my bunnies or WIPs!) In progress? Call this 50%.

Write two comic scripts for practice Nope.

Make more progress in IDW2 reviews Nope, 0% progress made.

Finish The King and the Bounty Hunter Barely worked on this, either, so no.

Rewrite/repost stories that I took down. Call this 50% done.

When chatting about this with a friend last night, I realized that THREE of my goals were basically "finish this longfic." Considering how much brainpower longfics take, it's no wonder I failed. So as part of my "be kind to myself" vision statement 😅 I'm going to focus on do-able goals, with one "stretch" longfic goal.

Write two comic scripts for practice

Finish reposting taken-down fics

Write and post three one-shots

Start posting Sun and Moon (working title)

My rationale for these is: I really want to practice scriptwriting. I really want to finish getting those old fics back up in a better format. I LOVE the instant quick gratification of getting a short story written and posted. And the stretch goal is to start posting Sun and Moon. If I'm starting to post it, that means I am confident about finishing it. ✨

Behind the cut is the first sentence of each of the stories I posted (sans the reposted fics, since those were all backdated to their original posting dates), and the month it was posted in. I wish everyone a happy and safe 2024!

August. Sharing is Caring. "That's it… There you go." The words were whispered into Bluestreak's audial.

August. Plans in Plans. The tiny dot in the distance grew in size as it approached, until Megatron's optics were able to resolve it into the shape of a Seeker.

September. Again and Again and Again. Create log file.

November. A Nice Set of Wheels. "So who is this guy, again?" Mirage asked, slipping between a box truck and a van.

December. A Matter of Propriety. Orion picked up his comm pad for approximately the thousandth time since being shown to his table, and checked it for messages.

#progress report #year in review #on writing

[ocean-anchored]

Continued still.. December 3, 2023

Monday night I went to the Knights & flames game with Shane, he got really great tickets & I got to wear my jersey. It was a nice evening, he was good & I had asked him before not to ask me if Im ok at any point to trigger my emotional mess. Chrystal was gone the week so I was going into okotoks everyday to cover. Tuesday I originally didn't have plans but then Connor asked to hang out after work. Went for Taco tuesday which was nice then back to his place. I ended up staying the night, I felt like he wanted me to stay but idk, I still can't get a read on him. Part of me just thinks we're kind of doing the same thing to each other. I mean I know i'm not really going out of my way to ask him or make plans but his texting just sucks that I can't read if he wants to or not. Like its hard to keep any convo up over text & maybe he's just like that, I understand his work is a lot so keeping that up is tough, but then after we talked about how I might not be doing a roadtrip in January it died off & he didn't reply so whatever. I mean he has asked to hang out so I assume, & he does ask me to stay so maybe? But to what benefit? Idk. I do enjoy his company though. Wednesday I went for dinner with Ed & Mariana a founder of ours from Mexico city. Ill have to write another time on how I had planned to do a road trip down to the states or mexico for a few weeks but I dont think it's going to work out in January so I'll talk about it later for now. Went to Charbar which was really great, nice environment & cool, really great food. Thursday I finally had a night to myself, I was pretty tired from the week & had a lot this weekend so I chilled & gamed for a bit, took it easy. Friday had lunch with Ed, again I might talk about that later but I'm still really blessed to be working with him. Friday night was my ugly christmas sweater games night which I think turned out really well! 9 people including me, jeremiah brought his friend Dan, steven, amanda, shane who came 2 hours late... that was another whole other story of annoyance & triggering for me, Kamber, amber & naythan. It was fun, started around 6/6:30 & everyone stayed till like midnight so it was a lot of fun. Saturday I chilled for day, Marc forgot about our facetime which sucks but whatever. Was supposed to go to anneriekes to decorate the tree but didn't want to be around that environment again which I think I forgot to mention anyways that I went for dinner two weeks ago & it was just a lot to take in & I'm tired of talking about Steve. Anyway I went to amber & naythans instead with nova, nova did so good with Rue, it was honestly so sweet watching nova play again & be so gentle with her, made me so happy. We played catan & had a really great night. Amber also got me the exit game advent calendar that were all in a challenge together, like 4 of us couples minus mine of course & that's super fun so far, proud that I've solved the first two alone with no hints! Anyways, love those people so much. Today, sunday, went to 8:30am service which was so good again. I really love this church I think & want to stay in it. Its so lively & actually makes me want to lean into God when I leave & "sets my heart on fire" again feeling. Went to brunch with Daniel at Diner Deluxe which was great again, he's a good guy. Hes really smart & very... aware. Its a breath of fresh air & its really nice to be able to talk to someone emotionally on the same page especially about relationships & the struggles. Then mom surprised me at being at my house after so we could go for a walk & we had some good conversation. Then went to a movie with steven & amanda which was good so im finally relaxing now winding down for bed. This week will be busy again & the weekend but then it get's quiet which I think Im finally looking forward too.

#personal #dear future self #life update #dearfutureself #monthly update

[variousqueerthings]

Good evening I’m a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife

yeah, it's the famous line from the episode, The Snowmen. Ian McKellen ('s voice) is here! Richard E Grant! and the mysterious woman who died in Daleks of the Asylum. and inter-species lesbians!

this should be good...

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 6/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 3/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 5/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 6/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 7/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 8/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 4/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 3/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 5/10

FULL RATING: 50/100 (if I can count….)

Oy vey!

OBJECTIFICATION: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok we start early on through one of the sexy lesbian's legs, because she's Action Lesbian In Leather

and there's a bit later where Clara is changing in a horsedrawn carriage into a different bustle dress, and the camera inexplicably thought it was a good idea to pan in on her breasts right as she's about to undo it

surprisingly though, that's about it

PLOT-POINT: Clara. Who is she? no genuinely, who is she? she larps as working class (and "charmingly" does her working class voice for the upperclass kids she's a governess for, as if they've never heard it before?)/as a barmaid, and then she's also a governess

why was she pretending to be a barmaid (what was the point in the episode and/or what was the point for her as a character)

why is she a governess? what is her connection to... anyone?

yes, she's an enigma, because she looks exactly like that other woman in the red dress (whom the Doctor never saw), but surely she can be "real" in some way -- after all, Oswin did have plot around her that made sense as a character, but this Clara has no background, no wants that relate to her as a character, no emotional connection to anyone, she's just... there. being spunky

and yes, the guy who's the father of the kids is into her, but that's him it doesn't say anything about her

COMPLEXITY: there's three specials released ahead of time that kind of are mostly there to show the Paternoster gang and there's some mystery snow, but otherwise not much in those that isn't in the episode

it's not the most complicated plot on the whole, if it weren't for the mysterious Clara, who isn't a character so much as a plot point

I kind of wish that so much of the plot hadn't involved Richard E Grant standing outside and waiting for stuff to come to him, because it felt like kind of a missed opportunity on the whole + this episode is an hour long and definitely could have been cut to be 45mins

there's also this scene where Clara meets Vastra and can only reply to her using one word answers as a "test," but it's kind of got a "we're being so clever about something," feeling without really making much sense

a lot of flash that need not flash as much, but then if it didn't you might start noticing things... like everything I'm noticing

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: The Paternoster gang were first introduced in one of the worst episodes of this era, and this one is kind of. better than that. on the whole. anyway, they're back now

the Doctor is sad because of companions always leaving and refuses to help people anymore, so bit of a whiny fit (and people say Ten complains too much), but then Clara is so compelling that the Doctor cannot help himself I guess

Clara is here! Aaaaand she's dead again. but she's alive somewhere! we'll see

COMPANIONS MATTER: so... sort of. Clara calls the Doctor and the Doctor arrives and then she near immediately gets dragged out of the Tardis and thrown off a cloud, and then she cries and has a psychic connection or something to the evil snow (along with the family she works for) so that melts all the evil snow and saves the day!

and then she dies. Gosh, but the Tardis bit is so stupid. why are the doors open??? there was supposed to be a Plan with bringing the governess up into the clouds and that plan just... didn't materialise???

she's meant to be so impressive that the Doctor immediately gives her a key to the Tardis, and then devastate him when she dies (until the mystery brings her back), but she's not really much of anything, neither in substance (as explored in the previous point) or in action

what she does do is talk very fast in "witty" repartee, and figures out that the Doctor brought an umbrella so she could pull down some stairs that would take them up to the Tardis, because she's too short to reach otherwise (and I don't hate that)

the one thing she's got going for her is that she's a mystery and that's... not enough. but let's see, maybe future Clara can give us more to work with

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: ehhhh not reaaally, I mean yes the Doctor drives the whole thing and there's a bunch of scenes of the Doctor dressed as Sherlock and pretending to be impressive and the Doctor insulting Strax, but there's also a fair bit of just "idk, I'm just doing a thing, let's see what happens"

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: Richard E Grant! The Great Intelligence. a bit of Classic!Who in this one in a way that's silly in a fun way

“SEXINESS”: Clara sexually harasses the Doctor a couple of times and also kisses him without his consent "for comedy." the kissing without consent is seeeveral seconds long, after which she takes it as confirmation that he likes her?

The Doctor: You kissed me Clara: You blushed

also

Clara: Eyes front soldier The Doctor: My eyes are always front Clara, watching his ass: Mine aren’t

also a scene where the Doctor pulls her through a window, because her bustle is stuck, and she lands on top of him and he says "You’ve got to take your clothes off," and immediately retracts it while she's still on top of him, but also she doesn't get off him for flipping ages

it's mostly this, but it's a shame, because it's most of what Clara's got to do and it's how M*ffat likes writing "confident" women. I'm surprised he didn't think of a reason for her to slap him at some point

INTERNAL WORLD: they're in Victorian England, the women wear bustles, and there's a bar that's unimportant and a mansion house, and that's abouuut it

POLITICS: I guess there are lesbians. sexy lesbians, but they're there. the classism is weird and kind of pervasive. otherwise it's not really much of anything on the whole

FULL RATING: 50/100 (if I can count….)

Sooo it's another episode that is not The Worst Episode. it's got some fun bits, but on the whole it continues to suffer in many of the ways M*ffat episodes tend to suffer (well, this is a list that's targeted towards M*ffat flaws)

I think also some of the... shall we say "quirk" is getting worse. Clara is a one-liner machine, quipping almost every single line, and she's very pretty and mysterious and effortlessly charming and everyone loves her, but because she's got no flaws, no background, no grounding at all, she's just a cloud drifting through the episode being Spunky. I used that word before, and it's still the right one. that is her single trait - no, that and the sexual innuendo, because she is a M*ffat woman

the Doctor is also very very quirky, his jokey "I'm Sherlock Holmes" bit, which feels like badly written kids comedy, "I’m the clever one, you’re the potato one," which is pointlessly pointedly rude (speciest?) -- there have been other episodes where I think they've gone overboard with this, but certainly this one also does it, and it's barely ever well-balanced so that the sombre stuff works

SO. the M*ffat criteria of an episode: lots of quirky one-liners, witty fast-paced dialogue, innuendo and "sexiness," and vibes over setting, character-development, and relationship dynamics -- it's kind of just a classic, except that I think the plot is marginally better than usual, for being a pretty standard DW type

sidenote there's some really uninspired editing to show the audience that Clara in this episode and Oswin Oswald are the same. just one saying a line, and then the other saying the same line, repeated. if you're flashing back to make a point, at least make it interesting to watch

#im watching nu!who #im watching eleven who #episode the snowmen #the measurement

[queenlua]

oh i guess i can also throw out a bitchy video game review: sam barlow’s Immortality

to get the good stuff out of the way: this was obviously made with extremely high production values & attention to quality.  i am not a Film Person TM, at all, but i can sense there's a lot of pastiche and loving homages to various works of cinema woven through the three fake films in this game, and i trust they are executing extremely well on that sort of thing.  the acting is all solid-to-excellent.  and the ideas that are being played with—The Archivist's Gaze TM, the unreliability of memory *even when the record seems clear*, the strange experience of exploring stuff in the nonlinear grabby-hands way that fans of a thing often do—that was all cool.  there were a few moments where what i was witnessing was so uncomfortable i was wincing, and it was a huge relief to hear "cut!" shouted at the end of scene—which, of course, led to the constant back-and-forth wondering of "is this real or is this fake," which carried ever-greater weight as the game went on

but, and unfortunately this is a HUGE "but", while the method of presentation is novel, its version of totally-radical-nonlinearity means it's possible to have game experiences that just don't "click," and don't add up to much.  in particular, i managed to get to "the ending" without getting... any of the *other* hidden scenes that give context/grounding/etc for that ending?  which, sure, *might* be the point; if you hit an unlucky path maybe you're just supposed to go back and replay stuff until that ending makes sense.  (i would argue that's an awful lot of patience to demand from someone who's already sat through ~4-6hours of often-somewhat-tedious footage, but eh, i did also play the entire Chronopolis sequence in Chrono Cross so whatever, i sucked it up.)  but due to how the interface works, if you did miss something, there's no way to tell what you missed, what you might even be looking for, where the "blank spaces" are, etc, so you just.... are reduced to random clicking, for several hours, trying to unlock the new thingy.

it doesn't help that the quality of the writing, imo, drops off sharply once we're dealing with said secret scenes.  prior to that, the film clips are all full of rich/interesting context and nuance that's genuinely a pleasure to decipher, and... then it just turns into long monologues about immortal beings, which is normally My Shit TM, but it's precisely the kind of My Shit TM that is godawful in this format.  lil bit too on-the-nose and schlocky compared to what came before.

the game's also strangely buggy, which meant it took ages to figure out how to even *unlock* hidden scenes in the first place, and even then it was kind of a struggle.  (and then when i googled wtf i was missing, it was like "why aren't you playing with a controller, that's the right way to do it" well bitch keyboard is a supported interface so i thought it'd be ok???)

i'd be less annoyed if this thing hadn't gotten unanimous uncaveated adulation from The Sorts Of Interactive Ficiton People i tend to follow, and whose judgment i usually vibe a lot with, which gives me a kind of emperor-has-no-clothes feel.  like is everyone just afraid of saying anything mean about Sam Barlow or something.  every single one of you can't be film nerds right.  like it's COOL and i definitely see how it could be someone's kind of thing, but the execution is definitely wobbly!

[orcelito]

OK I'm home now which means I can go into the Hell that was this shift.

For starters, this was our sales for the day (taken about 5 ish pm)

Blue is today, grey is last Saturday. Note the giant bars at 12 and 4. Two fucking Crazy rushes that kicked my ASS. & last week wasn't slow! They were complaining about rushes when I went in to close. Which Really displays how awful it was today.

And then Things That Went Wrong in the order I remember them:

Absolutely blazed thru our brown sugar boba. I made two pots & one was Gone within an hour (for reference: on the average weekday, we can generally make it on two pots Total for the whole day.) So we had to rush to make more boba. And Again at 4 when they just Instantly cleared us out.

We were out of a lot of things, which made everything harder. No oat milk, no strawberry, no creme brulee. Ugh.

I literally set some creme brulee powder on fire bc I spilled some while making creme brulee. See reference:

It was dying down here but at its tallest it was like twice this size lol.

I tried making cookies when it was slow. I did a Dogshit job (though I baked the scraps so we got some cookies to snack on ❤ this one actually isn't that bad, more frustrating in the moment)

I nearly got MURDERED by one of the big tea dispensers. I put it on the shelf, then it started falling forward (towards me). Employee standing next to me saw & jumped to catch it (saving my life in the process. I swear she was like superman), so I didn't get hurt, but it still did slosh on me so I got milk tea All over my shirt and arms.

One of the employees accidentally knocked over a bottle of rinse additive for the dishwasher & I was the first to react to pick it up so we wouldn't lose too much chemicals. Except I reached by hooking my foot under the mouth of it to push it up. Which worked! Except I got chemicals in the toe of my shoe. And bright idea me decided to rinse it off with the floor soap water. So then my toes were WET... Miserable.

Glass breaking mentioned in last post was an entire fucking display case falling over & some glass jars breaking. I came out to find an employee sadly sweeping up the glass & helped her put it in an empty creamer can for safety's sake.

We ran out of green tea at one point bc of all the confusion so we had to go without that for a bit as we brewed more lmao.

The 12 rush was just me and opening employee and that SUCKED. The 4 rush we thankfully had a lot more ppl around (5 at that point, including me) & it was an All Hands On Deck kind of situation. That's the rush where I was continuously looking at the massive line of drinks and cursing, "Jesus." I took over making drinks bc im by far the most experienced drink maker, but Man. I started boba as soon as I saw this happening but we still ran out of brown sugar Bad. It was awful.

Aaaand other than that there was a wide assortment of messes and drink mess ups. One order we messed up Three Times & I ended up just giving them a sorry card lmfao. They were nice about it at least.

There's probably more but I'm forgetting it. This is already a Hefty fucking list lmfao.

#speculation nation #negative/ #and thats just stuff at work! #i saw cops doing a raid(?) on the building next to mine as i was coming home #aka several standing at the door and waiting for smth. idk. #i just heard a Loud Noise that could be something falling. or could be a gunshot noise! #the presence of the cops nearby has me jumpy. and also just the general state of the world. #i turnd off all my lights and im hiding out of sight lmao. just in case. #it was only one noise and im not hearing anything else rn. but im gonna wait a little bit longer b4 i come out of hiding. #so uhm. yeah. i do not think i will be feeling up to finishing editing ladue tonight lmao. sorry

[juiceboxman]

Watched Black Adam

It was Ok. Pacing was alright, editing was a bit all over the place, tone was flippant, performances could have used better direction at times and the music choice was just...ugh

Main things I didn’t like

1) Thought the Rock could have been a bit more smug throughout the whole thing, would have added to Black Adam’s ego, made him more interesting

2) Black Adam’s “not a hero” kind of stuff falls flat when he’s not really a villain either, his anti-hero status is kinda...eh, especially when you consider this takes place in a world where Batman literally brands mfs and runs them over with his car- like its just not that compelling

3) There’s no real arc for Adam, he doesn’t learn any lesson. He doesn’t identify himself as a hero, or a villain. He kinda familiarises himself with the modern world and thats about it. He doesn’t learn that sometimes violence isn’t the right answer, doesn’t learn that with great power comes great responsibility- there’s no real journey for the character. It honestly just felt like the rock spent 2 hours making himself look super cool and its just- not enough. You also have to remember that a lot of kids are watching this and they just see this dude powerhouse through entire armies and the only lesson is that “might equals right” like is that the shit you want to teach kids? I don’t know. Like it could have been a story about him coming to terms with being a leader, coming to understand the value of peaceful co-operation and conversation to avoid conflict- but it just wasn’t 

4) Villain sucked, was very uncompelling

5) Dialogue is clunky and they made some creative choices that were just...why? Like they done that Sergio Leone reference mid fight scene and its just like...why? Like it doesn’t fit what so ever

Things I liked

1) Justice Society were pretty cool. Dr Fate was great. really loved Hawkman- loved Atom Smasher and Cyclone, thought they were great together- very cute pair as well

2) Some of Black Adams kills were really sweet, really surprising they got away with it considering its 12A

3) Black Adam suit looks pretty dope

4) Cinematograghy is very nice

5) SUPERMAN wish he was in it more

6) Amanda Waller, love to see Amanda Waller- even briefly

But yeah, this movie is sadly very forgettable. Very mediocre, which can be expected when its been rewirrten a dozen times, been stuck in development hell for almost a decade and soooo many other issues. Its the kind of movie I walked away from and on the way home I though of six better different plotlines. Blac Adam should have just been the main badguy in Shazam, but the Rock wanted to be the lead in a movie- so we get this

#black adam

[dolokhoded]

hii this is the-reynolds-pamphlet (this is my main and i cant get rid of it LMAO im not active on here)

re what you said about the s4 pacing. LITERALLY i wrote that whole other post as an answer to another ask i got about how the chosen's storyline really sucks in some aspects and i said the pacing is going to be incredibly off for season 4

okay first of all. there's a huge timeline issue in season 3 concerning the holidays and how much time passes since season 1, i was gonna make a whole other post about all the timeline inconsistencies but i didnt get around to doing it (i probably should). but like at this point it has been one year minimum since s1, realistically it should be three years if the end of season 4 is palm sunday. then like ??? theyre gonna spend the entirety of s5 on ONE week? and for fucking what. i thought they wanted a "bingeable" proper show with pacing and everything, why would they zero in on that

but anyways about ramah. first of all im 99% sure it's because her actress has schedule conflicts and likely wants to drop out of the show (that's why she mysteriously left to go talk to her dad in season 3). but also it's kind of obvious that they're using her death as character development for thomas for the rest of the series (which is gonna be like 2 weeks maximum over 3 seasons anyway. unless they continue onto acts but that poses another huge pacing problem.) which is pissing me off like?? i had the same reaction when tamar was acting weird for like one (1) episode and then she told mary everything and just left. why would you not give them proper character development established over a long period of time and just confine it to singular episodes like that. im pretty sure tamar's backstory won't be brought up again lmao. also ramah doesn't really have much of a personality (which sucks because i got the impression she was a bit of a rich daddy's girl and there was potential for character exploration) and her character hasn't even been that established so like... partially it's easy to kill her but on the other hand, it isn't as emotional especially bc she wasn't even here the last season.

also remember how in the other post i was like why are they literally giving consistent character arcs and emotional plot for matthew, mary, simon & eden, and james & john but theyre basically forgetting everybody else exists. yeah like james just fucking launches himself at someone and gets knocked out in season 4 which is great but how long are they going to be just keep throwing new arcs for the main cast and keep ignoring thaddeus' existence. btw i watched a clip of That Scene in s4 (i didnt realize what it was when i was watching it lmao) with thaddeus and james and they're basically asking jesus why he's talking about dying. so thaddeus stays personalityless while big james is over there getting concussions #maincharacter. im not saying that scene w/jesus isnt necessary but im saying its thad's big scene and it is once again about Not thaddeus

this entire thing is incredibly bizarre to me because they COULDVE made an actual show with fleshed out characters and everything ??? they confined themselves to 8 1-hour long episodes per season, which of course restricts how much storytelling they can do while keeping in all the major gospel events they need to put in. but like first of all they couldve Not Done that. i think their audience wouldve gone insane for more episodes. second of all, if they WERENT gonna carry on character arcs and give everyone a fleshed out character then why did they introduce them as such??? i mean it was probably because they wanted to spark interest and then just forget about it but that kind of sucks. why did they do this lmao they literally had the opportunity to make it better

ok v rushed reply cause i have to go to the library the bus is coming in 15 minutes which means all the law students are leaving which means empty spaces BUT

you're so right the chosen's timeline is fucked up atp i can't really tell when it's been a day or a week or like. a couple months it's. i dont understand what theyre doing and why theyre doing it like this. cause like. even the characters who do have decent arcs like matthew and simon peter and james and john are not being developed properly cause the timing is so goddamn off. and i Know that in this new season they're gonna try to make john like Rise Above and start to kind of live up to his name as the favorite and have more understanding of jesus' teachings while james doesn't which is very stupid to me cause like. When. i think it was last season that this guy was bragging about getting to plough a field. how are they going to have john transition into one of the most competent disciples just. doesnt make sense.

and ALSO !!!! the reason all of these arcs are being so rushed is because they never get a break because as you mentioned literally nobody else gets any character developement. i wanna see more of thad. and little james. and nathanael while we're at it, and zee, and philip, and mary and tamar's friendship. why are they just throwing shit in there and never expand on it at all, unless you're thaddeus, in which case you don't even get that.

also i have a.,., suspicion, kind of, on where they're going with big james, and i can't be entirely sure, i'm not saying i'm correct, but just in case. Leave Tamar Alone ! i'm begging you ! dallas ! leave tamar alone ! not every single one of your female characters needs a romantic subplot ! i know big james is pretty and you want to give him a love interest so the repressed christian women in your audience keep watching your show, i see him, but for the love of christ actually ! leave tamar alone ! i know that if this happens you're only going to utilize her character for romance LEAVE TAMAR ALONE !!!!

#asks #leave her ALONE I SAY !!!!!!!

[kythed]

“teenage wasteland.” kuroo tetsurou x reader

4:08pm.

“yo,” kuroo says, opening the door quickly after you ring the bell, “you finally made it.” 

“what do you mean, finally?” you complain, kicking off your shoes and slipping inside. the dry heat of his family home’s living room assaults your bare face, a sharp contrast to the december frigidity outside. “you texted me like ten minutes ago.”

“felt like longer,” kuroo says with a crooked grin. “you want something to drink?” 

“water?”

“I kinda meant something stronger, but sure, water,” kuroo says, filling a glass at the kitchen sink. you furrow your brows.

“something stronger? I’m sorry, but last time I checked we were still underage,” you say, and kuroo laughs breathily — it’s almost a giggle, actually. for the first time since arriving, you notice an odd flush in his cheeks. “oh my god. are you drunk?”

“drunk?” kuroo gasps. “no, no. tipsy, yes. drunk, no.” 

“tetsurou,” you scold, reluctantly letting him pull you towards the hallway. “all those big, bad college boys can’t have been a very good influence on you.”

“I’ve had a stash of jack daniels hidden beneath my bed since sophomore year,” kuroo whispers conspiratorially. “those ‘big, bad college boys’ have nothing to do with it. speaking of which — you want some?” 

you shake your head vehemently and dig your heels into the carpet, realizing he’s trying to drag you into his bedroom. despite being kuroo tetsurou’s official best friend of a decade, you’ve never been inside his room before. you’ve never been inside any boy’s room before, actually — you’ve never been much of a rule breaker. 

(you suppose that’s why you and kuroo get along. you’re forever the straight-laced goody goody, and he’s forever the secretly bad, outwardly good honor roll kid.)

“I don’t drink,” you insist, and kuroo loops his arms around your neck. you stiffen. “and stop being so touchy. it’s freaking me out.”

“what?” kuroo says, feigning offense. “you don’t like my hugs?” 

“no!” you say, and he shoots you an exaggerated eye roll. “you’re being weird. I can probably count the number of times you’ve voluntarily hugged me on one hand.” 

kuroo ignores you, choosing to instead pick you up and toss you over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold. 

“kuroo tetsurou, you’d better quit it before I call your mother!” you pound on his back, a little taken aback to feel his shoulder muscles rippling under your palms as he staunchly marches you into his room. “I do not want to enter your disgusting cave of a room, you teenage garbage troll!”

“getting real creative with the insults there,” kuroo laughs, setting you down and backing up against the door to block you from running out. “come onnnnn. I thought we could play a game of monopoly or something. listen to the radio. finish the bottle before my mom comes home and whips my hide.”

you sigh and perch your hands on your hips. “so that’s why you invited me over.”

“no, no,” kuroo protests, crouching to pull a clear bottle of amber colored liquid out from beneath his bed. “I also just vastly enjoy your company.”

“why not just throw it out?” you ask, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed. 

kuroo’s room is a lot neater than you imagined it would be — navy bedspread tightly tucked in at the corners, vinyl floor completely clear save for a small rug. his desk is probably the messiest part of the entire room, holding an old, chunky desktop that’s covered in post-its with smudged, scribbled notes, ranging from “email prof. miyazawa about missing grade” to “buy mom flowers to apologize for broken mug.” 

there are a couple posters on the wall, too, one for the japanese national volleyball team, and one for some punk-looking band dressed in an overabundance of leather, ripped denim, and hair feathers. 

“this shit was expensive,” kuroo says, gesturing to the bottle before screwing the cap off and taking a long draught. your eyes widen as he drinks down a quarter of the remaining liquid, his adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. “I can’t let it go to waste.”

“I think you’ve probably had enough of that,” you say, gently twisting it from his hands. kuroo smiles angelically before coming to tower over you. 

“if you’re not gonna drink it, I will,” he says, reaching out to grasp the bottle’s neck. you hold onto it stubbornly.

“you’re clearly wasted, tetsu,” you say. “just let me throw it away.” 

“I may have a small drinking problem,” kuroo says, “but I’m sober enough to know I’m not about to throw away the fifty bucks I spent on that. give it.” 

“no!” 

“yes.”

“nooooo!”

“yes!” 

kuroo tries to wrench the bottle from you, and you spend a solid thirty seconds wiggling in his grasp before finally pulling it away. in an impulsive attempt to keep kuroo from getting even drunker, you bring the rim of the bottle to your lips and chug the rest of the whiskey.

kuroo’s eyes widen, and he guffaws loudly. “that was a lot of alcohol just now.”

you nod, wincing at the acrid taste, unwilling to swallow — the liquid is still swishing in your cheeks. you move to go spit it out in kuroo’s sink, but he grabs your arm.

“do not spit that out,” he warns. “that’s over two hours’ worth of minimum wage salary. I don’t work twenty hours a week in the wendy’s drive-thru just for you to flush it down the drain.” 

“mmmm,” you protest, breathing through your nose. “hrghhhh mmm mm mhm.”

“I have no idea what you’re trying to say,” kuroo says, obviously trying to stifle his laughter. 

you gesture wildly to your face, and then to the empty bottle, and then back to your face. 

for a moment, kuroo wrinkles his nose, and then slowly smoothes out his expression. a small smile stretches across his lips, and he steps close to you. you’re acutely aware of your personal bubble being popped, as well of the fact that he smells strongly of old spice and mango body wash. 

“I’ll do it then.”

“mm?” you squeak in confusion when he takes your chin in one hand and guides your face close to his. you’re not sure if you’re smelling the alcohol on his breath or tasting it on our own tongue. you’ve never been this physically close to your best friend in your life, and you can firmly say you’re absolutely petrified. you shake your head vehemently as he slowly leans down, tilting his head. 

“calm down,” he says quietly, and in spite of yourself, you do. “I’m just taking a drink.” 

then he presses his mouth to yours, and you freeze. oh, shit. 

kuroo wedges his tongue between your lips, forcing them open, and then he sucks the whiskey from your mouth, one hand keeping your jaw open while the other snakes around your waist. your eyes widen just as his close, almost as if he’s enjoying the kiss. slowly, you close yours too, letting yourself melt into him as he keeps kissing you even after swallowing the liquid. 

it lasts for a good ten seconds before you reluctantly pull away, letting your hands rest on his shoulders. he’s smiling, evidently very pleased with himself. 

“what the hell was that?” you say breathlessly, searching his face. 

“I was thirsty,” kuroo says nonchalantly. “and a little drunk. and you’re very pretty, as far as best friends go.” 

you feel like you should be offended, yet you can’t quite bring yourself to be. you’re definitely flustered, though, and a little embarrassed. (okay, a lot embarrassed.)

“I think, um, I think I should go,” you say, breaking eye contact. kuroo raises a hand to stop you, but you brush him off, bounding out of the room to grab your bag and keys from the kitchen counter. “we can talk about this later, okay? you need to go take a nap or something.”

“no, hey, wait —”

but you’re already out the door and in the car, jamming the key into ignition. you just kissed your best friend. or did you? does that count as a kiss? or was that just kuroo being stupid? your mind spins with useless speculations on the drive home, and as you sprawl out on your bed for an hour afterwards. it’s not until later that evening that you check your phone, greeted by a handful of social media notifications… and a text from kuroo.

with shaking hands, you swipe it open, face immediately splitting into a grin.

kuroo: sorry about that

kuroo: ok, not really

kuroo: I’m not that sorry

kuroo: cuz you’re a good kisser

kuroo: a really good kisser

you: you too

you wait for a moment as the three little dots on kuroo’s side pop up.

kuroo: thanks

kuroo: I was still kind of stupid tho

kuroo: my b

you: you regret it?

your fingers shake in suspense as you await his answer, feeling all the world like a lovestruck fifteen year old. you’re a little disgusted to find yourself suddenly crushing on kuroo tetsurou of all people, but what can you say? maybe falling for your best friend is a little cliche. maybe it’s a little overdone. maybe the fact that you kissed him with a mouthful of whiskey belongs in a cheesy teen movie, but you can’t help but find yourself delighted that it happened. 

kuroo: nope. not at all.

kuroo: not at all.

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu oneshots #tw: alcohol #meg ur comment on my shitpost inspired me #HEH #hihqnetwork

[sunookkii]

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Cute <3

Jungwon tutor x Reader

One shot ^ this kinda sucks sry 😃

Warnings : none just fluff very much fluffy

Word count : ^200-300?

You caught yourself staring at the same guys every single day, he seemed to have noticed a couple of times but barely, which is better for you. You two were in the same class for every subject for years now,,, kind of a coincidence but it was a benefit for you. You started catching feelings for him since last year. 

Something about him was so perfect. How he was gentle, kind, handsome, caring and smart. He wasn’t so popular, though he had a small group of friends. Everything about him was perfect, from his hair, his face, his smile, his grades, to his personality. In class you always sat next to him, he knew who you were but you two were too shy to talk to one another. Until one day..

Everyone knew that your grades weren’t always the best but Jungwon’s grades were. The principal had asked if Jungwon could tutor you and help you study for a couple of days to help you get back on your feet. As the nice guy Jungwon is he accepted.

Jungwon : Hey y/n right?”

Y/n : “yeah..” his smile almost made you melt right in front of him, why did he have to be so handsome you ask yourself?

Jungwon : “soo when are you free?”

Y/n : “I’m free anytime, but I’m free right now”

Jungwon : “oh okay ill tutor you at your house if that’s okay?”

Y/n : “no yeah of course that’s fine”

He smiles at you again, you on the other hand trying to tell your heart not to explode.

The bell finally rung to dismiss the students, why are you so nervous its just a tutoring session no more than that. You go outside and see jungwon happily running up to you

Jungwon : “y/n wait up!”

You guys walk home together talking about the most randomest things, you didn’t know that jungwon was so easy to talk too, you felt as if you knew him for so long.

You two finally arrived at your house to see that your parents arent’t home. Oh right your parents come home really late so you often have the whole house to yourself.

You hurry up to your room as jungwon looks around for a bit

Jungwon : “ur house is nice”

Y/n : “thanks its a little small though,, anyways hurrry up”

Jungwon : “ok ok I’m coming”

You finally arrive to your room which wasn’t too far away. You guys get comfortable on the floor and started to set up the subjects.

Jungwon : “which subject did you need help on?”

Y/n : “mostly math, oh and i need to study for the history exam soon”

Jungwon : “ok i can help you.”

4 hours past by and you started to get so tired, trying to focus on studying but your eyes kept on closing. The sky started turning dark which wasn’t helping at all. Jungwon started noticing how tired you got, how you were literally bobbing your head from side to side. Without even realizing it your arms started going under your head causing you to fall asleep on your textbooks. Jungwon started to grow attached to you after this day, he thinks you’re so unintentionally cute. He watches you as you fall asleep. It was really late, but before he left he carried you carefully to your bed and covered you with blankets that were already laid out.

Right before he leaves he whispers to you “goodnight cutie”

(Hope you jungwon stans liked this imagine idk why this took me so long to write anyways goodbye lovelysss <3)

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen oneshots #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen jungwon #enhypen yang jungwon #yang jungwon #jungwon #jungwon x reader #kpop enhypen #kpop imagines #jungwon oneshot #jungwon imagines

[crybabytoy59]

The ultimate backwards way forward….

1. The day had finally come all the hours, days, weeks, months and years even.....That had lead to this one intrepid moment. Tonight He (Mark) stood before Her “Chrissy”....Shaking whilst doing as instructed, he was to put his Big clothes into the black bags in front her. She would decide what if any we’re to be kept. All things related to his Big life went in…

 Next She sat him down in only a cartoon disposable & a onesie ! He sat & listened as she reinforced her Will as the midnight deadline approached !... 

 She spoke very gently, a deep love of genuinely wishing to take him to his “little place”,  Yes his Big had pushed back and fought at times but this was IT her words would be final !  No turning back whatsoever no wriggling out. A new life lay ahead as Chrissy delicately spoke….

2. “Now sweet-pea  all your big things are away and in fifteenth minutes you will be My Bunny, my BabyBoy & I your Mommy I will treat you as a baby always & this you will come to accept through Mommy’s intense retraining of you to become that infant baby again we will take you back mentally & physically to a small child, Mommy’s cute toddler In nappies 24/7 ….

This will not be easy at first but please trust Mommy, she is going to help you mentally to be the baby that hangs on to every one of Mommy’s kind nurturing words….. So Bunny are you ready hmmm, Are you ready my darling baby boy? 

3. Mark took a huge breath but still the words came out at a tremor…..“Yyes am rready Mommy, I realise my fears will at times test you for that I am truly sorry… but I do wish for this deep inside, so any fears I have, I gladly hand them to your care & compassion, to regress and nurture me into who & what we Both wish for…So yes Mommy your “Baby boy” wants this with all his heart.... Mommy hugged him tightly, anticipating the clock in the nursery awaiting for it to strike Midnight !! ...

4. The nursery was a work of art they had both built together a room where Baby Mark was dwarfed by the furniture within the nursery ! .......As the big hand met the little hand of midnight…Mommy began to speak almost in a whisper…“Baby? give Mommy her “Gift” of your submission.”

5. She smiled warmly watching the mirror as her baby began wetting the cartoon disposable, she could see it changing colour through the soft white plastic pants, she stroked his hair soothingly as the nappy began to swell outwards…“Clever Baby All done Sweet-pea?” (he nodded into her soft shoulder welling up slightly in the knowledge that this was his “Gift”, his submission to her, the first act of remaining in nappies 24/7 at Mommy’s will)

The very smell of her soft flesh had always made him feel a Deep want of regression ! But tonight she smelt Devine. Chrissy had taken a shower before this chat, washing her hair with Johnston’s Baby shampoo,  she then oiled  her whole body with baby oil! Knowing the effect it would have on Mark, pushing him over the sensory edge....After all the Hot pulsing between her legs drove her want of complete control over him! …“Clever Boy let’s get you changed & down for the night in your onesie and blue booties, then I'll read you a nice little story”….

6. As he waddled slowly forward, suddenly Mommy barked “And what do you think you are doing Mr? ” ...He was puzzled by this remark & Mommy’s new stern tone? Mommy simply smiled saying “Are you a big toddler yet Crinkle Butt? No, you are not ! All fours baby... Now! As what did Mommy say to you about obedience? (He got down on all fours, as she wished, knowing soon he would have the blue crawling booties on with the nasty studs that made walking near impossible anyway! ) 

That and the ankle cuffs with the tiny locks would make removing them a futile task!)… As he crawled Mommy patted baby’s botty “Much better see you can be a clever Bunny for Mommy! ” Baby jolted forwards as Mommy spanked him full force ! “Pardon Baby? ”...  Yethss mommy ! ...

 “Much better think we just earned our first “redstar” baby Yes?” …. “Wess mommy sworry…” “Clever Baby you can put it on the naughty behaviour chart after Mommy changes that soggy bott bott of your’s ehy? Up on the changing table then Mr, let’s get that wet  nappy off & your special night time dipee on!”

7. As baby got up on the table he could feel the soggy thin cartoon nappy sagging! ... Complete humiliation overcoming him at his new lot in life, a true baby boy status started to hit home. God how he loved this girl so much, knowing he would now no longer be able to touch her in a Big way he felt that new part of the Humiliation was ever looming and yet to come pressing closer. Mommy was very clever, astute and thorough, she would have a lot in store for her new charge.…Mommy tugged the plastic pants down “Someone has a soggy bumbum! look at this wet nappy Mr! (He couldn’t miss it in full view from the mirrored ceiling over the changing station ! This had been Chrissy’s idea as she loved the Humiliation element that it brought! )…“Aaawww don’t fret your going to be doing this all the time now Crinkle Butt!...As Mommy is going to make sure you become such a dribbling dependant little boy”….she chuckled lightly...There seemed to be a glint in her eyes too. 

8. The clean up was very intense & had baby stirring underneath her! She reapplied the thick white cream paying just enough attention to all the right spots then she delicately but quickly slid the night time pluggie in. This was Very large & could be adjusted to vibrate with a very intense level if was required… baby gasped as Mommy pushed it all the way home! As Baby moved she chuckled lightly and playfully spanked the huge night time nappy to a dull thud once she was done! “Mommy's little drum.” she cooed. “ All that padding is going to make sure you will stay safe till morning Sweet-pea… “Now come to Mommy”. He instinctively crawled towards her open lap, she guided him to rest his head in her arms and his back against her leg. 

Mommy stretched across to her right side, reaching for the giant glass night time bottle, full with the formula she had earlier prepared.

10. “Take hold with your mittens Sweet-pea, Mommy wants to see how you do, if its to heavy then I will hold it too” She now began to playfully stroke and tease his nipples as he held the bottle unsteadily! The gurgling was instant behind the milky teat as baby had developed very sensitive little nipples, just as she had designed! Straining in his bulky nappy wiggling gently on the spot between her, the whimpering and soft moans started up as the bottle continued to empty. When baby finished the last drops of formula she began to rub and stroke his back, gently massaging him encouraging those little burpies out... Baby squealed as he nearly had an accident at the same! “Ok Sweet-Pea off to Beddie Byes.” She gently held and led his shaking hand.  “But first please put the star up on Your chart!” Baby took a red star off the pad & put it onto the first square of naughty chart… (The red stars were for a Sunday evening’s end of week  “punishment time” If he had gold stars that would bring a reward) But red !...............Mommy patted the mattress on the double bed sized Cot. “Ok Bunny Boy hop up into your cot now.” He would sleep with Mommy Bear at ni nights time (but unbeknown to Baby, he'd be napping in the day time as well, part of her new routine she had in store for him)! She patted again “Position Baby !”…or do you want a second Red star “!...She chuckled as He scrambled into the cot positioning himself for Mommy!

11. Mommy lifted up the little blue booties to his new horizon line. She took the first swiftly and deftly to his toesies slipping it on his right foot, click the ankle cuffs latched shut. Next was the left, it too had the same bemusing locking system, designed so the Baby (him) could not free himself from the deceivingly cute little slippers. He'd never seen how the locks worked. Click... She smiled at him gently, knowing that the spiked shoes would limit his ability to now stand unaided and maximise her ability to retrain him to a more appropriate babyish crawl. Yes they would make life much easier outdoors too...  “Clever Boy,  almost done, then we can have that chat and Mommy will read you your bed time story after… ok baby?” ( “Wess Mommy” ) Clever boy Mommy does so love those manners Sweet-Pea well done!”

12. Now a little afraid realising he was properly in Mommy’s world. Things would continue to happen now that he would have no control over.  Next Mommy lifted his brand new dummy, he had not seen this one before! It must have been a recent purchase, this one was an extra large sized red yellow and blue primary coloured affair. She knew it had been designed specifically to help him dribble (just a little) and make his big boy words very difficult !! 

Putting it into his mouth she moved to his ear and whispered softly “Mommy wants you to nurse on this dum dum sweetie, I won't fasten it into place just yet unless you show me that you can't be trusted, OK?” It was a rhetorically phrased question that didn't need an answer, but there was that same look in her eyes.

13. “Now Sweet-pea first we'll have our wee chat then Mommy will read you a nice story before ni-nights. Your going to need lots of sleep Bunny Boy as Mommy has lots of adventures in store for you tomorrow ! … Now listen very closely as I will say this only once….Mommy is going to have you fast for five days ....This is to strengthen baby’s immune system and also induce a bit of a body reset, then on day six we will start your new baby food regime… This will be all fruit and vegetables as Mommy is going to have a very health baby… So then Baby,  you can get adjusted to those adorable nappies nice & easily...Your only going to be drinking fluids for the next five days first though, so Mommy is focusing on those soggy bum bums to begin with, then we will work up to your mushies…Your such a cutie for sucking on your new binkie like a good boy. Well done!

14. “She chuckled lightly lifting the story book to begin…

The alternate “100 Acre Wood”......

 God she was so dam hot there and then, in her best condescending cooing Mommy voice. She began “Once upon a time there lived a boy who was very very lonely inside,  he desperately wanted to have a friend. Out walking one day in the woods he found a small bunny, it hopped right over to him and began hugging the boy tightly.....The rabbit started to gently speak to the boy! “Hello Crinkle Butt ....The boy protested to the Rabbit “Am a not a Crinkle Butt!”....But the Bunny simply chuckled “I know who you really are Silly! The boy looked around but nobody was there? As he turned around the rabbit stood beside him again swatting his bottom Thwack !!... “I suppose this isn't your nappy then Crinkle Butt?”  The boy stayed quiet as he felt embarrassed. But the Bunny Smiled gently and hugged him even tighter. Bunny the Rabbit then took Crinkle Butt’s hand ....“Best we get back inside or Mommy will be angry with us & we will get the hairbrush! The boy took the rabbits hand, as he too hated the hairbrush spankings.....“Ok Bunny we best hurry then as it’s getting dark & Mommy will want us fed & then to Nigh nights”.....They both skipped through the puddles getting Mud all over their legs! ...On the porch Mommy was already waiting standing with her arms folded....Babies look at the colour of you !.... She held out her finger pointing to inside, that’s when both Babies noticed Mommy already had the hairbush!”....oh bother.

15. “Now Sweet-pea I think that’s enough for tonight, Mommy can see you are looking tired I'll read you some more tomorrow if your a good boy. She gently stroked his face “Off to sleepies now.....She began to start the lullaby mobile that hung overhead and the cute little noises and lights softly sprung into action and gently soothed her precious little one into the land of dreams...Mommy lifted the plug remote and set it to the night time precycle with the hypnotic recordings ! These would play all night as the monitor recorded his sleep & dream patterns, it would match the patterns playing the recording & pluggie vibes to their best effects.....Night after night she would subliminally reprogram his brain to be a contented infant Baby Boy... To her will... to her wants... to her Deepest held desire over controlling him, but also letting him be the baby he was destined to become! This would be Absolute !! Her new hypnotherapist friend would help with new insertions of “trigger words” that would become instant in there use over him, no matter where, no matter when or who they were with !.....Fuck every inch of her was tingling with her desire to further his regression......

She looked down at him all safe in that cot with an oversized dummy bouncing in and out. Fuck he was already hungrily sucking on that dummy! Her Chest ached with anticipation....This was just the start, she held all the cards, she had everything ready for the morning & for the day’s events......Time to sleep though, putting her arm over his chest a small whimper came......She smiled to herself...Tomorrow he would go through so many trials and emotions. Day by day his emotional state would become much easier to control due to her fasting retraining, first hunger & loss of energy...then as the energy started to peak later on in the week she would simple take a sense from him so as to have more control mentally over his nappies!....awash with thoughts flashing through her mind she settled down to sleep knowing the “Hypno-Mommy” tapes would be working there magic on him....These she would use as she put him down for his afternoon nap too!

[mogai-sunflowers]

Can i rant/whatever the not angry but sad version of a rant is? Feel free to delete or post it, i dont mind either way.

Ive been really really working on my ocs for skyrim and their families/partners/kids and thier jobs and stories all day today and sparsely over the past 4 months. Just today i finally started to get their appearances down and i was super excited to show my gf. She however just kind of.... Played it off and said shes tired and won't remember the names even if i re-explained the main story( which would of only tooken like 5 maybe 10 minutes at most, i have an ocs backstory for a different fandom that litterally took 2 hours to explain. 5-10 mins for 3 ocs is nothing in comparison to my usual detail and nuance.) I know she worked her usual 7 hours today and im thankful she dose to help keep us afloat because thats very important and some skyrim ocs story isnt important but.... Idk.... Hearing her basically turn down a small hyperfixation rant just to turn away from me and play games on her phone without even so much as a " sorry".... That just really really really hurt..... Like a lot more than i can voice. ( i cant help but wonder if this is some kind of revenge cause i worked on an encanto animation yesterday and didnt give her as much attention as usual...)

I know she dosent hate me and she has every right to be tired and put her spoons first but idk... She's never completely dismissed my interests like this and i feel like ive been stabbed in the chest.... Showing my art and my stories is something really personal, exciting and inspiring for me and she knows that. I really love watching people get fascinated in my work and the detail so for her, one of the last(if not, thee last) people i really rely on for that confidence boost to just.... Dismiss me... It really really hurts. I waited all day to show her it and she just dose not seem to care.

Im sorry to throw this at you, i know its kinda insignificant in the grand scheme of things but i just needed to let it out to someone cause my only other friends might tell her about how this hurt me and then it'll just be this whole thing I'd rathur just... Not.

Its nothing to break up over but it still hurt. Im gonna go cry for alittle bit... Thank you for reading this. I know skyrim isnt one of your interests( that and itll be awhile before i feel like sharing my stuff again because of this.)but it helps me alittle to reach out. Rejection sensitivity be damned. Ill be ok so dont worry or anything. Thank you.

- one of your muturals lol but the front is foggy so ehsnsmsm idk who to sign off as

okay gosh i totally get how you feel!!! not to make this about me but i do relate, many times my parents have completely dismissed my hyperfixations and it's made me feel so insecure for having said hyperfixations. they're really important and rsd really sucks when it comes to not having your hyperfixations listened to or cared about.

so like, yeah. your gf had worked a lot that day. but clearly, she had the energy to turn around and play video games, so even if she didn't have social energy right then and there, it still would've been better if she'd simply told you that she wasn't up for socializing at the moment but that she did care and want to listen. and if she just didn't care, then that's on her. yes, she's not wrong for putting her spoons first but that doesn't mean you're wrong for being hurt by how she reacted.

i hope you feel better soon! and i know it can be hard to talk about your hyperfixations after getting dismissed, but you can 100% always talk to me about them, i'd love to hear and i think it's so cool that you enjoy making your skyrim ocs! hope you feel better soon anon!

#🌌written in the stars ; asks🌌

[summercurial]

ok so trip report before i forget the details

okay so friday afternoon i ditch my mom to go to charleston alone, feel kinda guilty but i really wanted to spend time with my friends and also she CLAIMS she doesnt want to make me miserable, fuck it, im not good enough at pretending not to be miserable. anyway

so i make the 4 hour drive down to my friends place, cant really find the groove at first but then i remember i havent listened to the second half of the jordan lake sessions so i do that and its really wonderful and i get there in a great mood. G made summer-compatible soup and its delicious and then i get drunk (E brought naturdays, which i love). i tell S about how much i care about her cuz i got emotional in the car worrying about him. anyway

next part is a bit time fuzzy but i think it was that night, E bottoms for men taller than him and tops women and men shorter than him, were sort of mutually sub/bratty respectively towards G so theres. a weird dynamic. a fun dynamic! but anyway i was teasing him for being a bottom, at some point i kiss him and then Post about how recieving the kiss rather than doing it yourself is being the bottom "i.e. the receptive" this becomes a Post all weekend. during the kissing he bites my split lip hard and it bleeds all over, i get blood on the nang thingy.

oh at some point that night L (the catboy) i think posted about how im a fake catgirl cuz of the pliability/obedience, so doggirlhood became a point of discussion all weekend

oh that night my drunk and asleep self is dropped in H's bed for the night. he likes it really cold and hes not cuddly so i alternated between cuddling against him for warmth and then moving away when i felt guilty about his boundaries

ANYWAY next day we go to the apartment building's gym, i do a little bit of cardio and ogle my friends lifting weights. im SO weak. also cardio sucks. before and after i showered with G, which is always nice. we go wine tasting and L's job and then pick up some groceries. i had been talking since i got there about how ive never really been properly bruised and i want to be. i make myself eggs and leave the cast iron pan in water cuz i forgot i wasnt supposed to, G is genuinely kind of annoyed with me and has H punch me pretty hard in the stomach. i took it pretty well i think, made a noise but then silently laid on the futon in the middle of the living room recuperating for a bit.

that night im encouraged to sleep in H's bed (they joke encourage me to suck his dick while im asleep) i lay down in there but feel too creepy thinking about cuddling against him so i come back out. me and S sleep on the futon, in the warmer room. S is a dom but not stronger than me and also we have a fun-antagonistic relationship sometime so theres some physical/verbal tussling where i assert him domming me outside of a mediated environment would ruin the fragile power balance. also i brag about being able to beat her in a fight a lot.

ok so next day i realize i like it when i press on the painful spot, ask G and later E to press on it, it feels really good, i alternate between really wanting it pressed on and feeling guilty about being so incredibly weird. theres commentary from L about if theres any way they can hurt me i wont get off on (his nails work lol). i mention this whole thing, including them punching me, is really weird, G brings up that i explicitly asked to be punched. so yeah i would say at least 60% my bad. anyway. it was really fun getting it palpated.

oh also i suck G's dick! it was really nice. it's big which means its pretty hard to do a good job with but i try my best and he says i look cute and calls me a good girl. which was very nice. i had to tap out before he came tho i was exhausted. its long enough that it passes back and forth over my throat a lot which is no good for not gagging, i can keep it in my throat for a while but quick in and out makes me very quickly feel like im gonna barf.

that night theres further discussion re: doggirlhood, L is annoyed im drooling on the futon and i say i cant help it (i cant! i drool when i sleep!), E kindly reframes this as a doggy thing. later L mentions they need like one of those little indoor fences for keeping puppies when they want me out of the way, E and G suggest crate training (a different thing, L is annoyed at the misunderstanding). theres also some talk about how they could probably get me to do things they dont want to do for them, described as "bitch work" at one point. E tells me to make him some popcorn but he does it with a joking tone, i say he has to say it seriously if he wants me to do it and he gets up and makes the popcorn himself

this was like. ok some of these doggirl interactions were hot ofc but i feel like they were largely like.... "affirming". which is obv a weird way to frame it but thats really how it felt. like, im not dogkin, or even doggirlkin, but there was definitely a distant family resemblance to gender euphoria, idk.

anyway it was really really fun! i had a good time. my friends are so nice to me, which i say a lot to them, cuz they really really are. G calls me spoiled when i get to cuddle between him and E and im getting lots of attention and warm and good. E made me guacamole. i get lots of scritches (E is so good at them...) and headpets and cuddles (and interesting conversation! they know so much about so much stuff i dont. and also i get to explain math to them. also theyre really funny and stuff) 100% worth skipping out on my mom.

#E&G (who read this blog) lemme know if this is too detailed or w/e i can take it down or edit it or whatever. im bad at bdries sometimes