#akoiro

[true-autistic-tales]

shirt idea or whatevz

[id: PLEASE DON'T FALL 4 ME, I AM LITHROMANTIC]

#this has been happening a lot to me and this is the only way i'am gonna respond now #lithromantic #aromantic #aro spec #aro shitpost #arospec #aro #aromantic memes #aromantic spectrum #lithro #akoiromantic #akoi #lith #akoiro #scenemo art #lgbtqia+ #lgbtqia #gay #lgbt memes #queer memes #queer #art #my artwork #gayass

[probablyaspeccharacters]

Yukimi Togakushi is Akoi

[İ.D.: Yukimi Togakushi from Kakegurui Twin, in front of an akoi flag. End İ.D.]

#Yukimi Togakushi #Kakegurui #kakegurui twin #kakegurui twin is wild yall #akoi #akoiro #akoiromantic #akoiace #akoisexual #lith #lithro #lithromantic #lithace #lithsexual

[boowoomuu]

İ'm so glad to know that Geoff is queer! Or at least queer friendly!

#i'm not sure wich flag it is but İ think it's the general gay/queer one #i changed therapists #it was so hard to tell my old one İ am ace/akoiro #i'm kinda scared of what my new one will say #i just heard so much acephobia in my life #and it's exhaustive #i don't wanna hear it again #specially from someone İ should trust #heartstopper #alice oseman #queer

[flip-flopping-frede]

How I ended up dehumanizing people in my own marginalized community because I idolized them.

I want to acknowledge that I understand that this behavior that I did was dehumanizing, and it caused me to hurt people by perpetuating phobic things.

This is me journaling. So, a bit of time ago, approximately Sept 15, 2021, discovered I am akoiromantic. And yes finding a label that fits is epic and also processing it and accepting it usually takes time. I am someone who is generally romance favorable, however I don’t identify as romance favorable because I am romance ambivalent, meaning my feelings about romance change. Sometimes I can be romance-repulsed, essentially. After some akioromantic—affirming experiences, I started to question if there was even a point to dating or if, how do I say this, it would be possible for me to work with anyone or how I would go about doing that. At some point, I stumbled across cupioromantic and I was like yes! These are my people! This is my target! If I kept my eye on the prize than a relationship could be possible, since cupioros are aromantic/don’t experience romantic attraction.

I basically dehumanized a group of people by idolizing them. It become more extreme, like instead of it stemming from the fact that cupioros don’t experience romo attrac and desiring the romo relationship, it become more about cupioros making me feel safe bc I knew they would never be romo attrac to me (when people are romo attrac to me I avoid them). Obviously this escalated to the point where I discovered people who do experience romo attrac (akoiros like myself) identifying as cupioro. And this made me feel unsafe I guess and I did not like it, so I basically asked permission from other cupioros if I was allowed to gatekeep cupioromanticsm by saying if you are arospec/experience romo attrac you can’t be cupioro. (I did not say it that bluntly and did not realize I was idolizing cupioros until later on). For the most part there was discussion and yes at points I did feel like I was not being validated, however people mostly seemed interested in educating me and sharing their experiences, which meant I was getting a lot of attention that I appreciated.

It really sucks and is honestly a bit scary to see that I’m capable of idolizing an entire group of people. It is also probably shows that I’m drawn to people/relationships that would fail, since a lot of cupioros say they *wish* they could experience romo attraction, and even tho I always brushed this off as internalized arophobia and not accepting that they are aro, I have to accept that there are some members in the cupioro community who are not aro, but arospec. Example today I read the experiences of someone who never had a crush before, and they identified as cupioro. And then they eventually realized they were demi with their current partner. I think it would make sense to “switch” labels, however if they person felt validated and comfortable by the cupioro label and/or in the cupioro community, then it makes sense in my mind for them to still call themselves cupioro and/or remain in the cupioro community.

However, in my mind it also makes me feel unsafe and threatened, and that is when I realized I was dehumanizing a marginalized group of people by dehumanizing them. In terms of dating, “aro” does not make me feel safe because it is wildly common for arospec people to throw their labels away and just identify as aro.

I feel like I have to some accepting on my part, and I feel like I also have to do some internal work as well. I really caused some emotional distress and I actually entertained the idea of gatekeeping and invalidating people (something against my values) all because I idolized a group of people that already suffers from internalized cupiorophobia and cupiorophobia. I feel bad and I think I felt a lot of shame, anxiety, anticipation and dread yesterday (especially because one of the people didn’t validate me at all and was more focusing on talking at me and invalidated what I said), but I think at the moment the most significant emotion I am experiencing is disappointment. I was so proud of myself for breaking off my fp relationship in summer 2021 and not developing a full-on fp relationship this time, only to realize I have been idolizing cupioromantics. It wasn’t even a specific person or certain people, it was a marginalized arospec orientation. I didn’t think I was capable of that, I didn’t think I was that desperate for some sort of hope for a potential relationship to work out.

Sure, I can try aro4aro or aro on aro dating, however like I said the arospecphobia is really bad so arospecs may identify as aro. This means people who experience romo attrac may use the label aro or aroace. This is such a big deal for me because these are potential friends. Sometimes, as an akoiromantic, I can experience romantic repulsion towards the people who I was romo attracted to, after they express romo attraction towards me. And idk with BPD and having 0 support system I feel like I would just destroy the friendship/relationship or avoid them. And that just makes me feel sad.

I just have a refreshed feeling of hopelessness manifesting as the BPD symptom of emptiness. Sure, it is possible that there is someone out there who is my “right person” or “ideal person” or “right/ideal people”, and also, I don’t feel like going through the pain of starting and loosing so many potential friendships in the name of romance repulsion or BPD splitting, or worse, enduring what feels like “romantic attraction” towards me. It would probably be really helpful for me to work on the DBT skill of mindfulness so I can identify idolization behaviors or “splitting white” on someone or something more quickly, before I start doing behaviors that go against my own morals and values in the name of being emotionally regulated or having something to focus on. 🤷🏽

#internalized arophobia #internalized akoirophobia #internalized arospecphobia #cupiorophobia #BPD splitting #splitting white #idolization #idolizing #putting on a pedestal #disappointed in myself #I wish I wasn’t like this #why do I have to hurt people #BPD #BPD emptiness

[dekimasu]

Alex Clare's Too Close is a lithromantic anthem, change my mind

#lithromantic #lithsexual #aromantic #aromantic spectrum #aroace #akoiromantic #akoisexual #aroace spectrum #acearo #acearo spectrum #aromantic memes #lithsexual memes #akoiromantic memes #lithromantic memes #lithro #akoiro

[the-jennnster]

what is lithromantic? what is akoiromantic?

continuing with my trend of explaining the more obscure aspects of my identity, next up is lithro/akoiromantic!

In case it wasn’t obvious, these labels apply to my romantic attraction, which means that it influences who I want to date, not who I want to get in bed with, which means that it’s time to explain the SPLIT-ATTRACTION MODEL!

The split-attraction model refers to the theory that sexual and romantic attraction are two different things, albeit with large overlap. It’s commonly seen within the asexual and aromantic communities, because... Well, some people may want to date, but not have sex, and some people may want to have sex, but not date!

It’s a tad controversial, but then again, a large portion of the online queer community considers the existence of ace and aro people controversial, so whatever.

So, yes, lithromantic and akoiromantic are part of the aromantic spectrum (aromantic being “not experiencing romantic attraction”, or having not interest in dating) and are actually synonymous. Both lithromantic and akoiromantic refer to wanting romantic relationships and experiencing romantic feelings up until they are reciprocated.

“But isn’t that just not being ready for a relationship?”

There is a HUGE difference between not being ready for a romantic relationship and literally losing your attraction. Many lithro/akoiros will have feelings of nausea and sickness when faced with the reality of their romantic feelings being reciprocated, whereas someone who’s merely just “not interested” will still feel their attraction as normal and just simply avoid acting on it.

The attraction can be lost at a variety of times. I’ve lost it after accepting to go on a date with a guy and then turning around an hour later and cancelling, and I’ve lost it nearly five months into a relationship. There is no rule for how quickly romantic attraction can be lost for a lithro/akoiro.

I’ve personally had a really complicated relationship with this aspect of my identity, because the really cruel thing about feeling romantic attraction and then losing it is the guilt of knowing that you’ve essentially strung someone along. It’s also really difficult to acknowledge that, as much as I want a romantic relationship someday, any actual relationship would have to be set under specific circumstances or with a mutual understanding.

So, yes, that is lithromanticism and akoiromanticism.

[Originally posted to my gender-focused sideblog @un-locked but copied here for archival purposes, as I intend to delete said sideblog.]

#akoiromantic #lithromantic #akoiro #lithro #aro #aromantic #arospec

[eggrolls-and-fandoms]

Can I still be akoiro/lithro if I’m not entirely sure my feelings are romantic?

#asking for a friend 🧡 #skhfakhfkahd #akoiromantic #akoiro #lithro #lithromantic #aro #aro spec #aromantic

[exocoetidae-tom]

anime girl: notice me senpai 👉👈

lithromantics: PLEASE DONT .

#???? #sorry lmao #lithromantic #akoiromantic #lithro #akoiro #akoineromantic #aproromantic #meme? idk

[greyro-problems]

Am I Greyro?

I’ve recently broken up with my boyfriend, and the more i think about it, the more i realize i didn’t really feel anything towards him. We were together for almost a year, and I just didn’t feel anything. I’ve also been married before and I realized soon after our divorce I never loved him. I’ve felt fleeting attraction before, but for fictional characters. I am very confused please help. 

(submitted by @hufflepuffle4)

[Reply under the cut]

I’d say what you’re describing sounds pretty common for aro or arospec folks. The definition for the term “greyromantic” of the lgbta wikia (which I think is one of the most popular definitions) includes e.g. infrequent, fleeting or ambiguous attraction. It also specifically lists 

“Feeling unsure about how to identify romantic attraction or how to draw the line between romantic and non-romantic, and consequently feeling unsure about having experienced it or not”

as a greyromantic experience, which many greyros will be able to confirm. 

Of course, human feelings and experiences are a lot more diverse than we can often put into words or clearly define. Ultimately, it comes down to how you feel. I’ve previously seen (and used) the example of a colour spectrum between blue and red: One end is definitely blue, the other is definitely red, but when you look at the middle, things get kind of muddled. How far along the gradient can you go before the colour is not “red” anymore? When do you start calling it “blue” instead? 

It’s the same with the (a)romantic spectrum - there is no absolute definition or criteria you have to fulfill to be arospec. No “maximum number of crushes per year” or “maximum intensity of attraction”. If you share experiences with the greyro community and feel like it fits you, then you are greyro. If you prefer a more specific term describing exactly how your attraction works, many different arospec identities have already been coined. If you prefer to go with aro, that’s okay too - it can be used as an umbrella term, just like greyro. 

Identity - sexual, romantic, gender or any other - is highly personal. If you are looking for permission or confirmation to call yourself greyro, I’d say go ahead. Even if your feelings change or you see them differently at some point in the future, this is still who you are right now - so if you feel that you are greyro, then you are, in fact, greyro.

#greyro #aro #demiro #lithro #quoiro #aro-spec #akoiro #submission #hufflepuffle4 #hope this helps!

[jojomlm]

And Demisexual Arospec flags, using @/crimsxnflxwerz demi flag

#demisexual #aro #aroflux #grey aro #akoiro #demi aro #demi aroflux #demi grey aro #demi akoiro #my content

[probablyaspeccharacters]

Mira Kanō is AroAce

#it's incredible #90% of my fictional crushes are at least a little aroace coded #wich it's probably why İ have a crush on them #i'm akoiro/ace to those who don't know #about me #mira kanō #waifu #aib #manga #anima #dorama #drama #netflix #jdrama #aro #ace #aroace #hcs #a-spec #asexual #hc #aromantic #aro-spec #anime

[lgbt-nature-aesthetics]

akoiromantic asexual + space for anon

#aesthetic #moodboard #pride aesthetic #nature aesthetic #akoiromantic #akoiro #lithromantic #lithro #apromantic #ace #asexual #space #stars #lgbt #john.txt #request

[boowoomuu]

Lol yes I am akoiromantic. So do akoiromantics end up in relationships? Like I feel like it’s possible but I also feel like it’s rare? And also I hung up this big ass ace flag in my room and I’m really happy w/ the vibe lol. And yes it is hard to find other akoiros.

Idk I have just been thinking (for fun bc boredom) if a qpr/relationship/soft romo/wavership thing could work for me. Like I understand everyone is unique and it depends on the person, but I just don’t know if I would work in a relationship w/someone. As someone who is asexual too, I’m never going to find anyone sexually attractive. So I’m only going to feel the romantic attraction for people. But then if people show romantic attraction towards me... it’s all downhill from there /neg.

Idk like I can flirt all day and people can enjoy my company/I can enjoy other people’s company (make peps laugh instuff) but I can’t handle it if someone is romantically attracted to me. In the words of another person that described what it felt like when someone was romantically attracted: it’s too much.

Y E S

I feel exactly like you

You know, I grew up with Disney and I've always loved the idea of love and always dreamed of getting married and stuff, but when I figured out I'm a-spec, the same I felt kinda happy for finally understanding myself I also felt sad bc I couldn't have that.

Honestly, today it doesn't bother me anymore and I'm happy with myself but since I do feel romantic attraction I kinda feel sad sometimes bc it's like... Really wanting to eat something you're allergic to. It may taste good in the begining but then you wake up at a hospital. After my first experience with romance I had to take a few weeks (actually it took me 2 years to talk to my friend about it (i kinda had a crush on a friend of mine, I told him, he said he liked me too and after a week I ditched him and felt like a monster bc of that, after these 2 years I finally worked up the courage to talk to him and apologise and he was totally supportive of me, gosh I love him(platonic))) to myself to accept that I would never have what I kinda dream of.

Sometimes I also feel like a qpr would work for me, but just thinking about it is kinda exhaustive bc I don't think I would feel comfortable around someone I know has romantic feelings for me and also most people don't know about qprs and yeah... All that jazz

But honestly, it's great to talk to someone who understands, thank you for sharing yoyr experiences with me 💕

#akoiro #asexual #me #eu

[flip-flopping-frede]

When you’re akoiromantic

#akoiromantic #akoiro #arospec #antiromantic #antiro

[lithromania]

“alone and sublime” by mother mother helped me out a lot with understanding/coming to terms with lithromanticism if anyone is struggling rn or looking for some songs that touch on it ! the lyrics are very beautiful and i don’t know if it’ll help anyone else but just thought i’d share :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAIddm-Bq8g

#lithro #lithromantic #apro #apromantic #akoiro #akoiromantic #aro #aromantic #aro-spec

[aro-culture-is]

Akioflux culture is thinking you're a piece of shit for not always having the same amount of love for your partner as they do for you, and then finding out what akioflux is and excitedly telling all your friends

.

#aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod kee #akoiro culture #akoiflux culture #internalized arophobia tw