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zaceouiswriting · 1 year

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A rotten Christmas

Character: Theo Raeken x male reader

Universe: Teen Wolf

Warnings: Angst, Sad

The smell of perfectly brewed coffee woke me up from my deep sleep. Completely wrapped in a blanket, I knew I wasn't trapped when I fell asleep, but now I couldn't move without help. „Took you longer this time to wake up.“ A deep, soft voice reminded me of the gentle touch of my cashmere scarf gifted to me by the person whose voice made me feel more than I would ever admit.

„Asshole!“ I mummer under my breath as I realized what he had done.

„What was that, baby?“ He asked smugly, walking around our bed to sit next to me. Across the room, on a small table, I could see and smell the breakfast he made either, to prank or spoil me. This man had nothing in between.

„I said, I love you… asshole.“ „Mhmm… You see, in your… predicament, I wouldn’t be so nasty to the only person able to help you.“ His pearly white teeth showed as a predatory grin appeared on his perfect face. Some days I was more than jealous of his stupid smug face and wanted to bash it in, only to realize that I wouldn’t be able to look at it as much as I wanted anymore.

Instead of saying one more word that might get me into even hotter waters, I pouted at the man who was already wearing a buttoned shirt. „Oh, come on, don’t look at me like that!“ He threw his head back, knowing he had already lost against me, sighing in annoyance that he was such a pushover. I just had to look at him a little longer, pouting, slightly in tears, before he freed me from the blanket he had tucked me into, no doubt when he woke up. „Happy, now?“ He asked, slightly annoyed.

Instead of a verbal answer, I jumped against him, pushing him with me on our bed, hovering only millimeters away from his face. As he went for the kiss, I slightly moved back. „Why did you make me breakfast?“

I haven’t seen his face fall that quickly in a long time. „I-I- There is no ulterior motive!“

Not impressed at his play of innocence, I only had to pull one of my eyebrows up for him to give up again. „Okay, I might or might not am trying to maybe… maybe I could you to get-“

„Theo. God, tell me already!" I chuckled loudly, having to get some distance between us, just to be stopped by his arm around my waist.

„I wanted to make you happy so you might cook Christmas dinner for us and the pack I'm in?" His voice was so quiet and unsure of himself that it melted my heart immediately. „We never do anything for Christmas, and no one can go home for the holidays... so I've been thinking about hosting it. I might have already told them that we would... I know stupid and selfish of me, but I really miss them, and I also want them to see that I became a better man!“ He rambled on and on. But I had to say that I was ticked off. Though, witnessing his nervousness quickly turned my anger down. „I don't appreciate you just planning my time away, but I will do it either way.“

„You will?“ He asked excitedly.

„Yes, but you have to make it up to me.“ My smug smile already told my fiancé everything he had to know.

As he slowly opened his mouth again, I could see his Adam's apple jump up and down anxiously. Before he could say anything, I leaned down, kissing him chastely. „Tell your boss you will not be in tomorrow, and as soon as you come back tonight, you will lose your clothes at the door. I do not want to see anything on you!“

„Yes, sir!“ He even saluted as best he could while lying down.

I leaned down again and captured his lips in a not-so-chastened kiss. We both could feel the other's want in it. He even dared to poke his tongue inside my mouth, forcing a low moan out of me. Just before it could get out of hand, I was able to push myself away. „No, you have to go to work! We have enough time for that later!“ I explained rather authoritatively.

Finally, I got up after this whole fiasco and made my way to the small table with the delicious-smelling food and coffee sitting there for me to take. As I went for a grab, I suddenly was pulled back and slammed back onto our bed, with my face first.

„I think they can go an hour or so without me," he hastily whispered hotly in my ear just before licking my ear shell. His hot breath tingled my ear and the hairs on my neck, bringing a warm shower over my back. Hands wandered all over my mostly naked body.

To say that Theo ravaged me at that moment would be an understatement. When he finally left an hour later, I had to collect myself for another hour or so before I could even try to comprehend the act he had done to me. Walking was a problem, and I knew I was getting many side glances because of it when I went shopping for the Christmas meal I was going to cook.

Some of the goods had to be prepared a day prior, others I could start in the morning of our special day. It's been some time since we've seen Theo's entire pack, so I was just as excited. They always seemed like pleasant, genuine people.

As promised, Theo was there the next day, bound to our bed, so I could ride him whenever I wanted, which I used quite a lot that day, whenever I had little time between preparations. But at night, he had full responsibility.

The day we hosted Christmas, I put Theo to work but kept a close eye on him. Between making coffee and a simple breakfast, this man was hopeless. But he did everything after my very detailed instructions. Until it was time to hear the first knock. My handsome fiancé, already dressed to impress, opened the door to a cheerful Lydia.

As soon as I heard her angelic voice, I ran out of the kitchen and pulled her off her feet. I'm just glad to see her again after studying abroad for a while. Though I had to apologize myself to get back to work on our meal.

Not long after she accompanied me, both of us had a glass of wine. „Scott brings to more people. I hope that's not a problem?” she asked me nonchalantly, knowing I was cooking more than anyone could eat.

„Not at all. Who is it? Anyone, I know?“

„I have no idea. Nobody wanted to tell me anything.“

„Strange, but okay, I've made enough to feed a battalion. You could never know what stray Scott will bring next, could you?” We giggled so heartily that we didn't even notice Alec, Ian, Amalia, and Rayn walking in. Only them clearing their throat alerted us. „Eavesdropping, are we?“ I asked sheepishly. „Come here, grab a wine glass and jump into our conversation!“

Soon half the pack was there, many of them happily sipping with us a bit of wine before dinner.

We almost only waited on Scott at that point. „Theo?“

„Yes, babe?“

„When Scott comes, please bring him and his two guests directly to the dining room, okay? The rest of you can sit down there, as well!“ Everyone happily followed my instructions except for Lydia, who stayed by my side and whispered gossip to me.

„Nooooolaaan!“ My voice carried effortlessly to the open front door. I only had to hear his voice to call him immediately. Theo sometimes was jealous of this little bean, but he shouldn’t be.

With a wide happy smile, Nolan came wandering into my palace, my kitchen, a small gift in his hand, as we met for a tight bear hug. „God, I missed you!“

„I missed you too, smolly!“ „Yeah, no. I take it back!“

„Oh, come on, I know you love the nickname!“ A cheeky grin on his lips, which made me smile broadly back at him, broke all walls I had for this boy. Christmas was never a good time of year for him, but seeing him smile on a day like this made my head spin.

And then, hopefully, the last knock of the night, Scott's voice carried through the house, more cheerful than any other time he'd visited, followed by the soft voices of the two people he'd brought with him. For some reason, they sounded familiar. Which wasn't that hard considering they might be people I've met before.

„Would you two help me bring in the food? I can do a lot, but that's too much food for me to carry alone!” I asked my two friends with a smile. Without wasting a second, they took away bowls and plates. With me behind, in my hands, a plate full of turkey.

Laughing about a joke Nolan had told us, we finally came into the warm, decorated dining room.

As soon as I entered the room, while Nolan and Lydia were already putting their things down, I could see Scott with a warm smile. Just as we were about to greet each other, I saw the two people he had brought into my house.

My heart stopped. From the corner of my eye, I could see Scott smile even wider with happiness. I was frozen. If this hadn't been the case, I would have dropped the plate with all our turkey on the floor.

At that moment, they both got up and came to me. „NO!“ I suddenly screamed, painful memories filling my mind back up. It made them both stop, looking at each other in concern.

„Are you all right, sweetie? Do we need to get you back to the facility? You know he had a mental break in his early teens. Back then, it helped a lot at the time!“

I wanted so badly to scoff at that, but I couldn’t. My body wouldn’t listen to me. Again they tried to approach, but I screamed at them even louder to stay away from me. Only this time, they did not listen to me. Just as they were a step or two away, anger rose inside of me. I was willing to sacrifice the food I had worked on for two days to get them away from me.

Before anything could have happened, I was suddenly pulled back by two strong arms. „He said that he doesn’t want you to come closer!“ Never has Theo’s voice sounded better in my ears. Knowing I was safe, I flopped a little against his powerful chest.

„Don’t be so dramatic!“ Scott rolled his eyes as he told me that. „I contacted your parents and found out why you are not talking. They graciously offered to accept your apology and would even let you get back to your family!“ He could barely hold his excitement in.

Suddenly all panic was gone out of my system. Emptiness replaced every emotion I had before. „They graciously offer to accept MY apology?“ I asked through clenched teeth, my eyes on Scott.

„Yes, isn’t that sweet of them! They would accept you even though you are this overdramatic.“

„Someone take the turkey out of my hand!“ My voice was quiet, anger radiating from it. „NOW!“ I suddenly screamed, forcing Isaac to jump up and take the plate from my hands.

For a moment, I just stood there, seething with anger, so angry no one dared speak.

„Theo, did you know about this?“ I couldn’t turn around in his arms. If I could see in his eyes that he actually knew about it, I would have ended it immediately.

„No!“ he quickly blurted out, realizing that what happened between my parents and me goes much deeper than what Scott said. „And how could he find them? I changed my last name when I was eighteen. Only three people know my first last name, and Nolan, as well as Lydia, would’ve never told anyone.“

„I-I told Scott.“ He confessed quickly. „He asked too many questions about your parents. It just fell out!“

„I understand. We'll talk later. Maybe our engagement was too early.“ With that said, I pushed myself out of his arms, closer to my parents, but with my eyes still on Scott.

„If you really believed a single word, my parents told you, then you are not only naive but stupid as well.“ Startled, he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

„You can’t talk to Scott or your parents like this!“ Mason threw suddenly in. „Don't you know any manors? He's the leader of our group!“

„Mason, stop!“ Liam was quick to intertwine, but it was already too late. His best friend had already poked the beehive.

„Glad I'm not part of your little group. Only Theo is part of it, in case you forgot. Just because I'm friends with some of you doesn't mean I'm a member of it, and to be honest, if it means meddling in things none of you have any part in. I'm glad not to be a part of your little, pathetic group!“

After all of this, I finally turned back to my parents. „And you, out of my house!“

„You can't kick us out! It sure isn't yours!“

„If you think my fiancé can pay for a house like this, you are delusional! It is my house, paid in full before I let it get built and I throw you out!“

„Stop being so overdramatic!“ Scott screamed again, his alpha voice was audible, but it didn’t affect me. „Scott, you and everyone that knew of this is no longer welcome in my house either! Go now before I use force!“

With that, I walked out, but before I could leave the room. A rather rough hand grabbed my arm. Thousands of terrible memories spoiled my brain. My breathing quickened, my heartbeat already fast from all the anger, went into overdrive. I could already feel dizziness overcoming my brain. Too weak to break free from the grip that had put me in my horrific scenarios and positions.

„Go away!“ I tried to scream, but my body was just too weak. „Let go of me!“ But the hand didn’t leave my skin. Tears streamed down my face. Which just moments ago had been sore with laughter, more relaxed than it had been in many years.

Nobody came to my aid, just as so many years ago. As I relived the nightmare I was running from, a particular chord stirred inside me out of nowhere. My foggy brain slowly cleared, forcing me to breathe properly again, all the fear that had once frozen me becoming irrelevant.

Even if I did open up and let my fiancé know something, I begged God never needed to be revealed. Now it had to be done.

With fiery anger in my eyes, I looked once more straight into my father's eyes, whose hand was still tightly gripping my forearm.

In one quick movement, his grip disappeared, and all that remained was a painful sensation in my clenched fist as he slipped out of my direct line of sight, leaving me with my mother. Her eyes begged me not to. But I did it anyway. Only to feel her nose crack under the immense pressure.

„I know why you disgusting vail people are here, and now neither my fiancé nor I will give you money. At least as long as you won’t give me the money that you got from renting me out!“

„Just call it babysitting!“ Mason ordered me.

But a vicious smile became evident on my face. „I do not talk about babysitting. Do you want to tell them, or should I?“ I directly asked my parents, not lowering my eyes at all.

I only imagined them quivering in fear of being openly seen as such bad people who would do something this horrible to their own child.

„They rented me out to-“

„Shut up!“ My oh-so-sweet mother suddenly interrupted me. Her eyes indeed widened, fearful of what I could tell them.

„They rented me out to rich people to do what they want with me. The first time I still remember vividly, I was five years old. And this old, fat, disgusting man touched me everywhere. I was so disgusted about what he did to me. I became numb in the following years. Not everyone wanted that from me. Some just forced me to work for them. All that to fill their own pockets even more!“

„Bullshit, no parents would do that to their own children! You would say anything not to apologize to your kind parents for treating them like dirt!“

„Scott, it is true.“ Lydia's voice was soft but firm. Her alpha’s eyes jumped over to her, confused. „When my father still lived, they offered my family, him as well. My father was so disgusted that he threatened with an FBI investigation if they wouldn’t stop it. Shortly after, he died. When he came here to live without her, I asked my mother about his family, and she made some gruesome discoveries. Please show them the marks under your upper arms and on your inner upper legs.“

„No.“ I just told her, not only comfortable but horrified.

To everyone's surprise, Scott stood up from his chair and lunged forward at me, ripping my nice shirt into pieces. Most likely to reveal that there was nothing. But to his sad horror, my whole body was a battlefield, with scars, burn scars, and even ripped chunks of flesh in places. Only the forceful made tattoos on my body were removed.

„How?“ It was the only word that came out of his mouth.

„I never went swimming with any of you, always sitting fully clothed with you, never switching clothes in front of anyone. Not in a million years did I want someone to know. Especially not the only person I ever loved. But thanks to you and your self-righteousness, he knows now.“

At this point, I didn't even dare to look at Theo anymore. Humiliated and disgusted by me. I could already feel my courage and strength slowly dissipating within me. „Either you go now, or I will force you out! All of you!“

Now everyone was shocked. As soon as I told them to get out, I couldn't hold back the tears that fell down my face like waterfalls. Someone tried to grab me, but I jumped out of the way just in time. Theo’s face was painful as I rejected his hand.

But otherwise, nothing happened. Not one person moved. Only the agonizing groans of my parents holding their faces could be heard.

No one stopped me as I walked out of the room, probably assuming I would leave until they were gone. They waited until they were sure I was gone, but I was in the room getting ready.

Lydia again told the story and that she started being friends with me to make sure nothing happened to me, but at some point, my parents stopped that friendship. But when Nolan came forward and explained how he found out, Theo nearly ripped him apart just because he saw my naked body once when I wasn't paying attention.

I let them talk as much as I could. But when my mother tried to say something, I got irrationally angry. Storming back into the room, this time with a sword in my hands, I immediately held it against Scott. „If you are not out of my house in two seconds, I will cut you in pieces.“ My face didn't say anything. It was entirely blank, like the mask I wore when I told people everything was fine.

Scott, who seemed to think I wasn't going to attack him, proved him wrong when he didn't leave when the two seconds were up. A beautiful extensive cut across his chest, open and dripping with blood. Not closing as it should have. „Wolfsbane is something nice to have when your fiancé’s friends are werewolves, don’t you think, Scott?“ A grin sinfully twisted my face as I audibly threatened his death.

„But you are a nice person!“ He lamented soon after. Over with his shit for a long time, I took another swing at him, cutting open his arm.

„Yes, and you've gone too far. Now go or die. I don't care! But either way, you will never put another foot in my house!“

He obviously took the way out, which actually kept him running for longer than three seconds. Even though their alpha went out, nobody followed him. I had to threaten the rest with the same fate. I yelled after them that no one who knew of this plan would ever be welcome back into my home.

Only Lydia, Nolan, and Theo remain. My parents ran away when they first saw my sword. They were obviously aware of their foolish decision to let me train when I was younger so they could boast in front of their friends.

Without saying another word, I brought my sword away and left for upstairs. As I closed our bedroom door, I could hear Lydia starting to yell at Theo. In their screaming, there was also the sound of our front door opening but not closing until a couple of moments later, followed by some clinks and rattles.

Soon two different footsteps echoed down the hallway. I didn't even realize they were coming up the stairs. As a soft knock sounded inside my room, I almost jumped out of my skin. „Go away!“ I tried to be louder, but this day had taken too much energy from me.

Without my consent, the door suddenly opened, at first, I was angry, but when I saw Nolan's cute face, all I could do was smile. „Hey, we have some food for you! After so much work, you should at least eat something.“ He gently asked me, not sounding like an order, but stern enough so that I could hear his concern.

He opened the door a little more since I didn't say anything about him leaving me alone, only to show Isaac, who was also holding plates. „Why is he here?“ Nolan looked sheepishly to the floor.

„You know my family is almost perfect, maybe a bit pretentious, but I couldn't help you, but Isaac here has some experiences of his own."

„Right, but not even closely as bad as yours, but my dad was still a horrible human being.“

A heavy sight escaped my lips. „Okay, come in.“ I told both of them, which they happily did, closing the door behind them. „At least you are handsome enough to make Theo jealous, especially when we see each other often.“

„But I don’t swing that way.“ Isaac told me, scratching the back of his head, plates all spread out over my bed.

„That doesn’t matter. He is already jealous of Nolan, even though he his Gabesexual.“ The talked-about man blushed furiously at my comment.

„Who is Gabe?“

„Nolan’s mythical boyfriend. He is an absolute stud if you ask me, and maybe even a little douchy, but he loves our little bean, so I accepted him, even though I threatened to cut off his tail if he ever broke Nolan's heart.“

„What?“ Nolan screamed, interrupting our little conversation. „He is so tame because of your threat? But I liked his douchiness!“

„Then tell him! I'm sure he'll be happy to do whatever you want to get you in bed more often. Or this is all a ploy to make you go crazy, so you would finally crack that innocent mask of yours and show him what a little perv you really are!“

„You two are texting, aren’t you?“ Isaac suddenly inquired.

„Maybe, maybe not.“

„He did the same to me with my girlfriend.“ His hand over his face in slight embarrassment. „It worked, didn't it? I heard a lot of good things about your bed life.“ „You two are still texting? What is she telling you?“

„Oh, a lot Isaac. A lot.“ My eyes traveled over his body, pausing at his crotch for a second only to travel to his hands. „A lot.“

„This was a bad idea.“ As he was about to leave, I quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back a bit.

„I only look out for you guys. When I learned something from my past, to communicate correctly. It took me long enough to get Theo to do it, so I helped your partners force you to start your long journey.“

We talked for hours about everything and nothing until we got to what had happened before Isaac told me about his life, how his father abused him, locked him up, hit him in a lightbulb almost daily, and so on. He even showed off his own scars scattered across his body where his father would hit him with broken glass bottles and other things. It helped a bit to know I wasn’t completely alone.

Lydia had given up at some point, storming off. Theo didn't dare go upstairs. Until at least Nolan and Isaac left, which wasn't before bedtime. I had brought all the plates downstairs to find Theo waiting in our living room. When he saw me, he jumped up, his face was sunken, and sadness overcame him.

I didn’t acknowledge him at all. He followed me like a lost, hurt puppy, even back upstairs, but as soon as I entered our bedroom, I stopped before he could enter. „At the moment, I can’t trust you, so you either sleep in the guest room or downstairs on the couch.“

„But-“ His plead was shut off as I slammed the door shut and locked it. I heard a quiet thud but nothing else. Laying in our bed alone felt weird, and sleep did not come for hours. Later on, because I had to pee and was thirsty. During the night, I had to leave the room because Theo didn't have a chance to put our usual two water cups on top of our respective bedside tables like he usually does.

As I went to open the door, my heart suddenly fell a bit. There, right in front of the door, lay Theo, his body slightly shivering. Even though I wanted him to understand his misdeed, that was too much for me. I grabbed my favorite comforter and put it on him before getting water for both of us.

Hours later, I was still awake, already making breakfast, as suddenly Theo came downstairs, his head disheveled, but said nothing. His eyes were on the floor whenever I was near until he or I walked into another room.

I chose office work and later went to one of my restaurants. In the evening, Theo lay in front of our bedroom door again, already fast asleep. Sighing, I retrieved a fluffy rug from my office and rolled Theo onto it, followed by one of my pillows.

Again laying in bed, sleep again did not come for me. I rolled and trashed around. Finally swallowing my pride, I stepped out of the room and went under his blanket. With the small rug, it was actually quite comfortable. His arms immediately pulled me to him, sniffing a big whiff of my body odor only to sigh peacefully in his sleep with a smile on his lips.

I also could only smile, finally being in the arms of my most precious love.

„Good morning!“ At some point, I heard the joyful voice of the man I love close to my ear. I stirred awake in a panic until I remembered the last night. „You are warm.“ A dark chuckle fell from his lips.

„Here we are again.“ Able to hear his eyes rolling, he dared open his arms to let me go. But I just pressed them to shut around me again.

„Idiot!“ I murmured angrily, hot salty tears streaming down my cheeks again. Theo was confused and appalled by my sudden reaction. He thought I had started shit with him again, but I was only glad to be back in his warm arms.

Not knowing what to do, he hugged me even tighter to his chest. Either to smother me or to give me the love I so desperately need. Both have been good to me. We lay there for a while. If it had been possible, we would’ve been there for the rest of eternity, but my phone ringing without pause finally forced us apart again.

Soon I was out of the house once more, leaving Theo alone. When I got back, food was already served or at least warmed up, considering Theo is forbidden to cook anything but a light breakfast. „Lydia came by and took a lot of the food with her.“ Theo told me, waiting at our dining table.

"We need to talk," I plainly stated, sitting on the other side of said table.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? I wouldn't have looked at you any other way!" It was sweet of him, but my answer wasn't going to be as kind as his words.

„Why did you tell Scott what I asked you to keep a secret?“ His mouth opened for a second. Until his eyes suddenly widened, and his mouth closed. His lips were a neutral line. He had answered his question himself. „Exactly. That is the reason why I feel we should postpone our wedding until we're sure that's what we want and until I can trust you again.“

Never in my life would I have thought I would see the heartbreak in the eyes of the only man I have ever loved. „I understand. Do you want me to move out?“

"As always, you don't listen. I told you we were postponing our wedding, not that I was breaking up with you."

„What do you mean?“

„Let us have a long engagement. I can’t trust you. Therefore we have to find out if this is a problem or if you somehow learn to shut your pretty mouth about the secrets I share with you.“

Theo looked defeated. He knew that there was no way he could argue against it. How so, after everything that had happened on that day?

„We will see a couples counselor, and you will also start individual therapy. I've already worked through my problems, but maybe, I'll get back into it too. After all, it could only be profitable for me.“

„But I don’t need-“

„Do you want to marry me?“

„Well, yes, but-“

„Then you will go to therapy. Not only to get the death of your parents out of your active mind but also to get rid of your sick obsession to get Scott’s approval. If he or anyone else still believes you're a terrible person, that's their problem, not yours.“

At this point, my fiancé could only nod his head. After all, everything is his fault. I would have told him one day, maybe when my parents finally died, or I would have felt comfortable talking about it.

„And I meant what I said. Nobody in your pack that knew of this or defended Scott's action is welcome here anymore. And especially not Scott. If he trespasses on any of my properties, I will kill him. He wouldn’t be the first werewolf I kill.“

His downcast look was suddenly embarrassed. It was another secret he had no idea about. I knew long before I came to beacon hIlls about the supernatural and was forced at age nine to kill an already hurt werewolf. Since then, I've gone deaf every time I've had to do it to death and kill someone. Which made it easier to look past Theo’s horrible deeds.

We ate in quite this time around. Theo rarely dared to look at me directly. As we finished, I stood suddenly up, making my chair squeak over the floor, setting my fiancé on edge.

I walked right up to him, pulling him out of his chair and upstairs. In our bedroom, where I pushed him onto our shared bed, he looked so confused - it was delicious. He immediately saw the wolfsbane pills and knew what was happening. Without question, he took one and quickly put us on the same level. The ninth was still young, and I needed Theo now. Maybe it was toxic of me to use his fragile mental state after all of this to get him to get intimate with me. But I only saw it as compensation for what he had done, and after all, he loved it just as much and maybe even more than me. For some reason, especially when he wins our little fight. As a reward, he gets to take me doggy style. Most likely some strange natural behavior, considering he is part wolf.

I could only hope that this didn't destroy our happy little life. Besides his inability to keep secrets, he is literally perfect for me. Only time will tell.

[Masterlist]

#teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf x male reader #male reader #x male reader #male reader imagine #x male reader imagine #theo raeken #theo raeken imagine #theo raeken x male reader #Christmas #sad #angst

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slippinmickeys · 2 years

Text

I did a quick un-betaed prompt:

Diana at the Door:

Of all her ex-husbands, Fox Mulder was her favorite. He was young when she met him; eager, malleable. Bright and forthright, he was also dogged and insatiable — if she led him to the right path, he would follow it like a hound down a trail. He was intelligent, kind, and prone to pussy hypnosis. Easily distracted. That he was also a generous lover that could last for days was a bonus she wasn’t about to question.

When the Smoker had recalled her back to the States, she had been confident she would be able to manipulate the situation back on track as she always had, but Fox’s partner had proven to be a surprisingly stubborn obstacle, seeing through Diana’s machinations like an X-ray through soft tissue. Diana had thought the woman had been handled several years before — run through the Project’s standard pump-and-dump operation when she became problematic — lending the Project an influx of fresh DNA while at the same time being eliminated had seemed a tidy solution at the time. When the woman had survived, Diana was surprised but unbothered, knowing the cancer fail-safe would soon resolve the matter. And then the Smoker — supine and (she could only imagine) lovesick — had capitulated to Fox’s weak threats and now needed Diana to come in and clean up his mess. She had no idea what the two men saw in the diminutive little priss, but she was confident that she could at least distract Fox long enough to make him temporarily forget. She had it on good authority that Agent Scully was drawn to authoritative father figures, and Fox Mulder – particularly under the spell of Diana Fowley’s time-tested and humbling cunt – was not the young woman’s type. It would be easy, she thought. It might even be fun.

She ascended the concrete steps of his building on Hegel Place with sharp, gritty clicks, the heels she’d chosen for the evening an inch higher than normal. Mulder was a tit man, but Diana had legs to her neck and men were easily distracted. Case in point the neighbor who held open the door for her, his Adam’s apple bobbing when she purred a throaty thank-you. In the elevator, she shifted her overcoat over the sweater she wore, the cashmere as soft as the lips that awaited her three floors up. She applied one last smear of lipstick and pressed the button for 4.

In her hand was a bottle of syrah she intended to use to move things along. Personally, she preferred the smoky bite of Scotch or the cold fizz of champagne, but those two choices sent a social message, and she needed Mulder to think that she was just dropping by. Syrah said it was a long Wednesday at the office. After a glass, it also said and it could be a great Thursday morning if you wanted.

The elevator doors opened and she emerged into the hallway gloom, the leather toes of her shoes scuffing on the chunky hexagonal tile as she walked. She could practically feel his large, rough hands on her skin already, his right hand callused from keeping up his firearm qualifications, a thing they used to do together. Something about the sharp prick of cordite in the air was like an aphrodisiac, and she would pull him into the women’s locker room with the ear muffs still around his neck and take him into her mouth like she was attending to a popsicle on a hot day. Her blood thrummed as she walked, and she was practically panting by the time she pulled up in front of his door, the thick brass 42 reflecting the red stain of her mouth. She knocked.

She had no real concern that he wouldn’t be home – his social calendar wasn’t exactly filled with obligations, but when he didn’t answer right away, she began to wonder if she should have sent a toady ahead to tail him home from work. Then again, he likely was inside, and had just fallen asleep on his couch. She knocked again, with a little more vigor. A moment later she heard approaching footsteps from the other side of the door and tried to curtail the cat-like grin that she could feel rising up the skin of her cheeks. Calm, open face, Diana, she reminded herself. You have a part to play.

The door swung open a moment later and she once again had to police her own features. She’d expected him to answer the door in the same clothes he’d worn to the office, perhaps minus the tie and in a pair of holey socks, but he was barefoot and bare-chested, wearing a pair of quickly thrown-on athletic shorts that still had one pocket hanging limply down, inside-out. His hair was tousled and his eyes were bright.

“Diana,” he said, with more surprise and less pleasure than she was expecting. “What are you doing here?”

She put on a face of harangued amity and held up the bottle of wine.

“It’s been a shit day,” she said, making sure her voice didn’t yet sound too seductive. “I was in the neighborhood and thought maybe I’d find a compassionate ear?” She was about to ask if she could come in, but on impulse, she smiled at him and ducked under his arm and into the apartment. She found the old adage it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission worked well in these kinds of situations. She put on a mask of good humor, expecting him to at least give her a sympathetic half-grin. “I can’t imagine you had a better one out there in Kersh’s bullpen. If you have clean glasses, I can open this thing with my shoe.”

But he didn’t grin. In fact, he threw a worried look over his shoulder and crossed his arms in front of his chest, his face stern in the dim light of his fish tank.

“Fox?” she said, letting a husky lisp slip into her voice. “Is everything all right?”

Other than his attitude, something was off within the atmosphere of the space – his apartment hadn’t changed much at all since she’d left him, but there was a verging energy in the air and it didn’t smell the same. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly how until the woman rounded the corner from the kitchen holding a yellow box of Triscuits and wearing nothing but one of Mulder’s dress shirts that was so billowing and large on her that the crepey material fell practically to her knees and gaped at the neck so that it showed the soft white curve of one shoulder. And it hit Diana why the apartment didn’t smell the way it had when she’d lived there, or the several times she’d broken in in the years since – it absolutely reeked of the tangy musk of sex.

“Mulder, are these even still good?” the woman said without looking up, still walking forward. She was peering inside the box with a dubious look on her face. “These have been opened and I can’t find an expiration date. Oh!”

The last word was said with surprise, but the look on Dana Scully’s face as she paused in the short hallway leading from Mulder’s kitchen quickly went from shock to shrewd calculation as she swept her gaze over Diana from head to toe, and Diana felt the surge of lust she’d been feeling quickly replaced by the hot burn of humiliation.

“Agent Fowley,” Scully said, crossing her own arms over her chest so that the dress shirt pulled tightly over the bare breasts underneath it. She made no attempt to otherwise cover herself and looked not the least bothered by her own state of undress. “Problems with a case?” Her tone screamed that the woman knew it was anything but.

Diana felt her cheeks redden and she squeezed the neck of the wine bottle she still held tightly.

“Just a social call,” she said, pulling herself up to her full height, and lifting up the wine several inches as though to prove herself. “I thought I might visit with an old friend.” She swallowed thickly.

“Now’s not a good time, is it, Mulder?” Scully said, and finally took her eyes off Diana and flicked them to Diana’s favorite ex.

Mulder swiped his hand under his mouth as if wiping something away and huffed a quiet laugh. “No,” he said, “it’s not.” Mulder turned to Diana and gave her a long look, as if seeing her clearly for the first time. “You should go,” he said quietly, something final in the tone of his voice.

Diana felt the light inside of her dim. She took a halting step back, feeling somehow changed and lessened, powerless.

“I-” she started. “Yes.”

She turned toward the door, her neck hot with embarrassment. The door was still open, light leaking in from the hallway on the polished tops of her fuck-me shoes. She took a deep breath and paused when she heard Scully’s voice.

“Feel free to leave the wine,” the younger agent called out.

Diana turned and looked at Mulder, who had moved to his partner’s side, standing half in front of her protectively. His eyes told her everything she didn’t want to hear. Diana set the syrah on the small table by the doorframe and closed the door behind her.

#fanfic #my fic #msr #the x-files #prompt

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mediaonedesign · 11 months

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chrancecriber · 1 year

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Chilltrax (May 02, 2023)

23:58 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 23:53 Be Svendsen - October Letters (Page 2) 23:49 Pableno - Heights 23:46 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Gordi - No One Else 23:42 Cashmere - All Of My Heart 23:42 C H I L L T R A X - World Comes To Chilltrax.com 23:38 Arto - Para Mi 23:32 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 23:28 Cannons - Fire For You 23:24 Jean Vayat & Evelynka - My Soul 23:20 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 23:16 Tycho - See (Beacon Remix) 23:16 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 23:12 Satin Jackets Feat. Mandy Jones - In This Life 23:06 Royksopp Feat. Pixx - How The Flowers Grow 23:02 Approaching Black - Sensitive 22:59 Attom & Blonde Maze - I Think About 22:58 C H I L L T R A X - This Is The Way 22:55 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 22:52 Tomb - Unbound 22:48 Nightcap - The Two Of Us (We Only Need) 22:44 Sg Lewis - Honest 22:40 Edapollo Feat. Kendl - Afterglow 22:40 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 22:36 Kidnap & Pinkpirate - Things Change 22:31 Baile & Haulm - Knows No End 22:27 Woven - Brushes 22:23 Lipless & Blue Noir - Alone 22:17 Zero 7 - On My Own 22:17 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax 22:13 Il:lo - Ink 22:09 Everything But The Girl - Caution To The Wind 22:06 London Grammar - Lose Your Head 22:02 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 22:01 C H I L L T R A X - Donations 230425 21:57 Embliss & Lumynesynth - Phases Of The Moon 21:52 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 21:48 Valante - Vana 21:43 Eli & Fur - Carbon 21:43 C H I L L T R A X - Musique Nonstop 21:38 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 21:34 Running Touch - Why Do I 21:29 Tsha - I Know 21:26 Flexible Fire - Marea Turquesa 21:22 Washed Out - Far Away 21:22 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 21:19 Jako Diaz & Leyet - Only You 21:15 Sebastian Davidson Feat. Lewyn - Second Hand Love 21:11 West & Zander - Silfra 21:07 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 21:03 Phello - Timelapse 21:03 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel Redux 21:00 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 20:56 Circle Sky - Love Hertz 20:53 Cannons - Loving You 20:47 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 20:42 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Derek Luttrell - Lose Control 20:42 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 20:39 Ben Bohmer Feat. Jonah - Home 20:35 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 20:32 Leisure - Be With You 20:28 Elderbrook - The End 20:23 Thievery Corporation - Guidance 20:23 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 20:19 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - It's Enough (The Last High) 20:15 Pines Feat. Water Park - Tell Me 20:10 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 20:06 Andre Aguado - Through The Night 20:02 Kelela - Enough For Love 20:02 C H I L L T R A X - Backward Rvb Where World Comes 19:59 Ran The Man - Yucatan 19:54 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 19:51 Bronson Feat. Gallant - Know Me 19:48 Holen - Breathe 19:44 Melosense - Can't Replace You 19:41 Jones Meadow - Expect 19:41 C H I L L T R A X - Twcc High Standard Of Quality 19:37 Two Lanes - Searching (Ct Fixup Mix) 19:32 Darius Feat. Wayne Snow - Apology 19:29 Emmit Fenn - What Falling In Love Is For 19:24 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 19:18 Claptone Feat. Jaw - No Eyes 19:18 C H I L L T R A X - Valante Io Toh 19:13 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 19:09 Giants' Nest - Crema 19:04 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 18:58 Nox Vahn & Marsh - Come Together 18:58 C H I L L T R A X - Tcc Warm And Tender Ocean 18:55 Everything But The Girl - Forever 18:51 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 18:47 Attom & Kwesi - Rogue 18:44 Che Jose Feat. Jodie Knight - Freedom (Mass Digital Remix Edit) 18:39 Tensnake - Adams Hill 18:39 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 18:35 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 18:30 Sumsuch Feat. Matty Eeles - Find Home (Vincenzo Remix) 18:25 Billion Watchers - Rainman 18:20 Chris Malinchak - Saving My Love 18:19 C H I L L T R A X - Donations 230425 18:14 Forty Cats & Arentis - Zen 18:09 Nicholas Gunn & Alina Renae - Angel Eyes 18:06 Drama - Hold On (Rezident Remix) 18:01 Blank & Jones - Floatation 18:01 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 17:56 Ferr By Ferry Corsten And Rich Walters - Limbo 17:52 Floa & Phonic Youth - Falling Away 17:49 Holen - Not Too Late 17:45 Washed Out - Too Late 17:45 C H I L L T R A X - This Is A Journey 17:41 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 17:38 Odesza Feat. Maro - Better Now 17:33 Meeting Molly - Gerda 17:29 Sultan Shepard - Sirens 17:24 Massive Attack Feat. Hope Sandoval - The Spoils 17:24 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 17:20 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 17:16 Tep No - Deep Sin 17:12 Sum Wave - Moments Of Sundown 17:08 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 17:04 Khotin & Tess Roby - Fountain, Growth 17:04 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 16:59 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 16:56 Henry Green - Realign 16:52 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 16:48 Sons Of Maria - Outbound 16:44 Vandelux - Tulum 16:44 C H I L L T R A X - Be Svendsen World Comes 16:39 Joy Orbison Feat. Lea Sen - Better 16:36 Melosense - Nous 16:32 Armin Van Buuren & Matoma Feat Teddy Swims - Easy To Love 16:27 Arkangel - Paradigm 16:22 Feiertag - Saccharine 374 16:22 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 16:18 Tomb & Lewyn - All But A Dream 16:14 Pines - Dawn 16:10 Rocket Empire - Astoria 16:06 Flume Feat. Emma Louise - Hollow (Logic1000 Remix) 16:02 Fabio Vee & Mike D' Jais - Consolation 16:01 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 15:58 Feathervane & Oreonic - Overcast 15:55 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 15:50 Kaskade & Late Night Alumni - Save Yourself 15:45 Fakear - Crystal 15:40 Blonde Maze - A Break In Continuity (Forty Cats Remix) 15:35 Ry X & Olafur Arnalds - Colorblind (Whomadewho Remix) 15:34 C H I L L T R A X - Donations 230425 15:30 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 15:27 Shallou - Heartaches 15:23 Jos & Eli & Eli & Fur - Riffs Of The Night 15:19 Flexible Fire - Amatista 15:19 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 15:15 Sound Quelle & Tailor - Where We Should Be 15:10 Satin Jackets - Don't Worry (Lost Desert Remix) 15:06 Heard Right & Fløa - Enough 15:02 Fhin Feat. Sahara - Fallin' Fallin' 15:02 C H I L L T R A X - This Is The Way 14:57 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 14:53 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 14:49 Fkj Feat. Little Dragon - Can't Stop 14:46 Lost In Pacific & Hanging Valleys - Escape 14:42 Two Lanes - Ascend 14:42 C H I L L T R A X - Ct The Backward Chillout Channel 14:38 Kidnap & Pinkpirate - Things Change 14:33 Roisin Murphy - Assimilation 14:29 Arto - Now You're Gone 14:25 Tep No - Say What You Wanted 14:20 Lane 8 Feat. Lulu James - Loving You (Moon Boots Remix) 14:19 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 14:16 Sum Wave - Milkyway 14:12 Xixi Feat. Kwesi - Close To U 14:08 Mahalo - Nothing Matters (Lipless Remix) 14:05 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 14:05 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 14:02 Forester - Saint (Shallou Remix) 13:59 Cannons - Loving You 13:54 Eric Hilton Feat. Brian Jackson - Something For Byrd 13:50 Sasha - Bygone 13:50 C H I L L T R A X - We Are The Music Makers 13:47 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 13:43 Lp Giobbi Feat. Dj Tennis & Joseph Ashworth - All In A Dream 13:38 Alampa - Caravan 13:33 Palladian - Zagara 13:30 Morcheeba - Never Undo 13:29 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 13:24 Dj San & Sebastian Moore - In Your Eyes 13:20 Leisure - Slipping Away (Flight Facilities Remix) 13:15 Vincenzo - Chroma Rush 13:11 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 13:08 Satin Jackets & Panama - The Future 13:08 C H I L L T R A X - Comes To Chill Out 13:04 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 13:01 Indigo Eyes Feat. Kehina - All Over Again (Remix) 12:56 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 12:52 Jones Meadow - Fences 12:47 Sg Lewis - Lifetime 12:47 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 12:43 Faodail & Kakadu - Painting In Shades (Edapollo Remix) 12:39 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 12:34 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Julia Church - 9 Days 12:29 Reel People & Muhsinah - Something New (Kraak & Smaak Remix) 12:24 Slow Hearts - Endora 12:24 C H I L L T R A X - Valante Io Toh 12:20 Evelynka - Letting Go 12:17 Diplo & Black Coffee Feat. Elderbrook - Never Gonna Forget 12:14 Rocket Empire - Lima 12:10 The Knocks Feat. Foster The People - All About You (Equal Remix) 12:05 Royksopp & Susanne Sundfor - Oh, Lover (Nto Remix) 12:05 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax 12:01 Shingo Nakamura - Focus 11:57 Everything But The Girl - Forever 11:53 Kc Lights Feat. Leo Stannard - Cold Light (6am Remix) 11:48 Il:lo - Cynnes 11:44 Sons Of Maria - Don't Tell Me I Can't Have It 11:40 Kelela - Contact 11:40 C H I L L T R A X - Organ The Chillout Channel 11:37 Aether - Jupiter & Saturn 11:32 Two Lanes - Searching (Ct Fixup Mix) 11:28 Marsh Feat. Leo Wood - Over And Over 11:24 Jimpster & Oliver Night - Ascension 11:20 Pableno - Heights 11:20 C H I L L T R A X - Donations 230425 11:16 Jako Diaz & Leyet - Only You 11:13 Edapollo - Standing There 11:08 Deep Lo - Lost In You (Soire Remix) 11:03 Double Touch Feat. Reigan - Greatest Day 11:02 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 10:59 Floa & Phonic Youth - Falling Away 10:55 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 10:52 Lapsley - 32 Floors 10:48 Andrew Nagy & Joel Winterflood - Little To None 10:45 Duckmaw - Habits 10:45 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 10:41 Satin Jackets Feat. Mandy Jones - In This Life 10:37 Zimmer Feat. Panama - Wildflowers 10:34 Flexible Fire - Marea Turquesa 10:31 Liz Cass - Blue 10:27 Eli & Fur - Night Blooming Jasmine 10:27 C H I L L T R A X - World Comes To Chilltrax.com 10:24 Giants' Nest - Heart Void 10:19 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 10:15 Cannons - Footsteps In The Dark 10:11 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 10:11 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 10:05 Attlas Feat. Mango - Over The Water 10:02 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 09:59 Vintage & Morelli - Once Upon A World 09:54 Kaskade - Find Love 09:54 C H I L L T R A X - Cleanliness Don't You Agree 09:50 Elderbrook - The End 09:46 Passenger 10 - Voices In Her Head 09:41 Sofi Tukker - Swing (Mahmut Orhan Remix) 09:38 Holen - Breathe 09:33 Washed Out - Hard To Say Goodbye (Lone Remix) 09:33 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 09:28 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 09:24 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Let's Get It Right 09:20 Shingo Nakamura - Falling Off 09:16 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 09:11 Chris Malinchak, Kiesza, Malin - Tree 09:11 C H I L L T R A X - Twcc High Standard Of Quality 09:07 Melosense - Nous 09:03 Charles Webster Feat. Shara Nelson - This Is Real 09:00 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 08:55 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 08:52 Mansionair & Kim Tee - Next High 08:51 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 08:48 Catz 'n Dogz Feat. Jaw - Time 08:44 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 08:41 Flight Facilities Feat. Your Smith - Heavy 08:37 Everything But The Girl - Caution To The Wind 08:32 Zero 7 - Red Blue And Green (Dub Copy) 08:31 C H I L L T R A X - Donations 230425 08:26 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 08:22 Little Dragon - Water 08:18 Woven - Brushes 08:13 Beacon - Until Next Time 08:09 Lapsley - Levitate 08:09 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel Redux 08:06 Ran The Man - Swimmingpool 08:01 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 07:57 Camelphat X Cristoph Feat. Jem Cooke - Breathe (Camelphat Just Chill Mix) 07:52 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 07:49 Tep No & Noak Hellsing - I Won’t Need You 07:45 Cashmere - All Of My Heart 07:45 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 07:41 Tescana - Benissa 07:37 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 07:32 Tycho Feat. Saint Sinner - Japan (Chilltrax Mix) 07:27 Mass Digital - Thoughts Of U 07:24 Flexible Fire - Amatista 07:19 Vok - Figure (Wax Wings Remix) 07:19 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 07:14 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 07:11 Pines Feat. Fractures - Rewrite The Ending 07:07 Odsen - Retrospective 07:03 Kidnap Feat. Leo Stannard - Moments (Ben Bohmer Nils Hoffmann Remix) 07:02 C H I L L T R A X - This Is The Way 06:59 Cannons - Loving You 06:54 Blank & Jones - Floatation 06:50 Boerd Feat. Stella Explorer - Another Life 06:47 Mango & Cloudcage - More Than This 06:47 C H I L L T R A X - Backward Rvb Where World Comes 06:43 Tomb & Lewyn - All But A Dream 06:39 Washed Out - Time To Walk Away 06:36 Rocket Empire - Lima 06:32 Emmit Fenn & Shallou - Hollow 06:26 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 06:26 Cinnamon Chasers - Great Escape 06:26 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 06:21 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 06:17 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 06:13 Harvey & Oscuro - You're All I Want 06:08 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 06:08 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 06:03 Dom Dolla & Mansionair - Strangers (Flight Facilities Remix) 05:58 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 05:54 Approaching Black - Sensitive 05:50 Two Lanes Feat. Kwesi - Another Time 05:50 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 05:45 Arkangel - Paradigm 05:39 Sons Of Maria - Are You 05:36 Ben Macklin Feat. Emma Brammer - Stay With Me (Fvhm Remix) 05:31 Billion Watchers - Rainman 05:30 C H I L L T R A X - Donations 230425 05:26 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 05:22 53 Thieves - Lyd 05:19 Bonsaye - Kismet 05:13 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 05:08 Northern Form - Mend 05:08 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 05:04 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 05:00 Zhu & Yuna - Sky Is Crying 04:56 Everything But The Girl - Forever 04:52 Il:lo - Ink 04:47 Cubicolor - Wake Me Up 04:47 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel, Chilltrax 04:43 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson - Ambivalence 04:40 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 04:36 Blonde Maze - Night Light (Hessian Remix) 04:32 Kidnap & Pinkpirate - Things Change 04:28 Daniel Avery - Hazel And Gold 04:28 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 04:24 Sound Quelle & Tailor - Where We Should Be 04:21 Drama - Dark Rain 04:17 Arto - Now You're Gone 04:12 Deep Sound Effect Feat. Svetlana Voice - Dreaming About You (Dj Aristocrat Remix) 04:08 Sg Lewis - Honest 04:08 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 04:04 Electronic Bodyguards - Stronger (Pete Herbert Remix) 04:00 Floa & Phonic Youth - Falling Away 03:55 Alampa - Lush Dance 03:52 Pableno - Heights 03:48 Leisure - Take You Higher (Serebii & Arjuna Oakes Remix) 03:44 Odesza Feat. Olafur Arnalds - Light Of Day (Parra For Cuva Remix) 03:44 C H I L L T R A X - Be Svendsen World Comes 03:40 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 03:34 Morcheeba - Oh Oh Yeah 03:29 Darius Feat. Benny Sings - Rise (Darius Remix) 03:26 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 03:21 Chicane - No Ordinary Morning (Thomas Datt Ambient Remix) 03:21 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 03:17 Cinnamon Chasers - Surviving The Fire 03:14 Beacon - Pay My Debts 03:10 Satin Jackets - For What We Have 03:05 Rufus Du Sol - See You Again 03:04 C H I L L T R A X - Come Along Children - Need To Chill Out 03:01 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 02:56 Sons Of Maria - Outbound 02:52 Royksopp - Me&youphoria 02:48 Xixi Feat. Kwesi - Close To U 02:48 C H I L L T R A X - Parents Magazine Seal 02:44 Olan - Wake And Return (Little Dragon Remix) 02:41 Holen - Breathe 02:36 John Monkman Feat. Liz Cass - Open Frontier 02:36 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 02:31 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 02:28 53 Thieves - Waves 02:24 Duckmaw - Nox 02:19 Shingo Nakamura - Come Closer 02:19 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 02:15 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 02:11 Boerd - 2far 02:08 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 02:04 Blonde Maze - Being Pulled (Polar Inc. Remix) 02:03 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax 01:58 Double Touch Feat. Reigan - All I Want 01:55 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 01:51 Tennyson - Iron 01:47 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 01:41 Elypsis - Open Road 01:41 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 01:38 Jako Diaz & Leyet - Only You 01:35 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Spell 01:31 Mansionair & Vandelux - Empty Promise 01:27 Phello - Timelapse 01:27 C H I L L T R A X - Ct The Backward Chillout Channel 01:22 Be Svendsen - State The Obvious 01:18 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 01:14 Drama - Don't Hold Back 01:11 Tomb - Unbound 01:06 Boehm - Who You Are 01:02 Kelela - Enough For Love 01:02 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 00:57 Floa & Ra5im - Give Me A Second 00:53 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 00:49 Ross Quinn - Away With Me 00:44 Steven Weston Feat. Lapsley - Like I Used To 00:41 Flexible Fire - Amatista 00:36 Kaskade & Inpetto - How Long (Kaskade's Ice Mix) 00:36 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 00:31 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - It's Enough (The Last High) 00:28 Emmit Fenn - Amman 00:23 Eric Hilton Feat. Brian Jackson - Something For Byrd 00:18 Missfeat - The World Before (Niko Garcia Remix) 00:17 C H I L L T R A X - Donations 230425 00:14 Cannons - Loving You 00:09 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 00:04 Above & Beyond & Marty Longstaff - Gratitude (Aname Pm Mix) 00:00 Fabio Vee & Mike D' Jais - Consolation

#Chilltrax #Chillout #Lounge #Downtempo #Ambient #Trance #Deep House #2023 #May 2023

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brandsrepertory · 1 year

Text

Julien

Blumarine Draped imitation pearl & mesh halter top ($1,900)

Anne Fontaine Pergame Shirt ($650)

Gucci adidas x Gucci polyester formal jacket (€ 2.200)

Gucci adidas x Gucci fluid drill jacket (€ 2.400)

Louis Vuitton LV MATCH REVERSIBLE BOMBER JACKET

ALEX MILL Garcons linen coat- $147 (Navy)

ALEXANDER WANG Embroidered striped leather bomber jacket - $750

ALEXANDER WANG Embroidered cotton-corduroy tapered pants - $238

ALEXANDER WANG Draped woven maxi dress - $498 (White)

EMILIO PUCCI Embellished leather ankle boots- $311

ALEXACHUNG Striped wool-blend scarf -$83

Pantora Dreamers Scarf- $28.00

Audrey

Vivienne Westwood Navy Drunken Top ($960)

Anne Fontaine Faustine Ruffle-Trim Button-Down Top ($365)

Dior Black and White Houndstooth Technical Cotton Jacquard (2.600,00 €)

Dior Black Technical Cotton Muslin with Dior Dots Motif (2.300,00 €)

Dior Navy Blue Cashmere and Silk Knit (1.700,00 €)

Gucci Wool jacket Style ‎711468 ZAKHQ 9207 (€ 3.600)

Gucci Dry wool jacket Style ‎731312 ZAK4N 1000 (€ 1.980)

Gucci Tartan jacket with Web label (€ 2.800)

Schiaparelli ANATOMY CARDIGAN JACKET - 6 500 €

Louis Vuitton PEARLY BUTTON BOXY KNIT JACKET

Louis Vuitton STAR PRINT BLAZER

Chanel resort 2022 PULLOVER Cashmere Ecru & Black Ref. P74123 K10621 NL668 ($4,900)

Chanel resort 2022 BLOUSE Embroidered Glittered Muslin Navy Blue & Multicolor

Ref. P73976 V65651 NL358 - Price upon request

DEL CORE Embellished envers satin mini dress - $2,395

ALEXACHUNG Pepys cotton-blend moire tapered pants- $252

ALEXANDRE VAUTHIER Pussy-bow embellished cotton-poplin shirt - $328

Dior Black and White Brushed and Perforated Calfskin (990,00 €)

Gucci Women's GG slingback pump - € 890

Kiki

Zoya

RICHARD QUINN Roxy floral-print denim jacket ($359)

And other stories Leather Lace Up Snow Boots ($86.99)

And other stories Plaid Pants ($69.30)

ADAM SELMAN SPORT Jackets - $177 (https://www.yoox.com/us/41940019VH/item?dept=women&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-.p5ZDDZ6pFv3gq7haM_n.g&utm_source=rakuten&utm_medium=affiliation-rs&utm_campaign=us_1808364&utm_content=10&ranMID=24285&ranEAID=J84DHJLQkR4&ranSiteID=J84DHJLQkR4-.p5ZDDZ6pFv3gq7haM_n.g&tp=11333#cod10=41940019VH&sizeId=6)

ALEXACHUNG Space-dyed striped wool-blend sweater - $128

ALEXANDER WANG Asymmetric layered ruched jersey and silk-satin crepe mini dress - $403

J BRAND Letty leather biker jacket - $275 (white)

Max

we11done Off-White Wool Vest ($254)

we11done Pink V-Neck Vest ($187)

we11done Black Jacquard Lounge Pants ($204)

we11done Black Varsity Denim Jacket ($1,110)

we11done Off-White Wool Vest ($247)

we11done Blue Denim Shirt ($270)

we11done Pink Polyester Coat ($730)

we11done Beige Jacquard Sweater ($330)

Vivienne Westwood Plaid-Check Print Oxford Shoes ($652)

Vetements Bleached Cotton-Blend Coat

$2,815

Vetements Code Jersey Shirt Black And Green

$567

Vetements Embellished Baby Alpaca-Blend Cardigan

$1,325

Reese Cooper BRUSHED COTTON CANVAS DOUBLE PLEATED TROUSER IN HERRINGBONE PRINT - €‌370.00

Reese Cooper BRUSHED COTTON CANVAS CARGO BLAZER IN HERRINGBONE PRINT - €‌455.00

Reese Cooper TWO STEPS FORWARD WOOL VARSITY JACKET IN BONE - €‌1,700.00

KSENIA SCHNAIDER Hawaii Oversized Shirt €117 (Yellow)

ADER ERROR Blue Tenit Bomber Jacket

AGNONA Off-White Vest Cardigan - $420

AHLUWALIA

Blue Mata Cardigan - $286

AHLUWALIA

Blue Priya Denim Jacket

AHLUWALIA

Brown Wool Cardigan

AHLUWALIA

Blue Priya Jeans

AMI ALEXANDRE MATTIUSSI

Black Heart Motif Shirt - $389

AMI ALEXANDRE MATTIUSSI

Pink Cigarette Trousers- $338 USD

AMI ALEXANDRE MATTIUSSI

Green Crewneck Sweater

$392 USD

AMI ALEXANDRE MATTIUSSI

Orange Cigarette Trousers- $266 USD

AMIRI

Black Cotton Cardigan- $954 USD

AMIRI

Off-White Cotton Shirt - $494 USD

AMI ALEXANDRE MATTIUSSI

Black Lunch Box Messenger Bag - $472 USD

ARTURO OBEGERO

SSENSE Exclusive Black Afanador Trousers - $464 USD

Melke Rua Puffer - $960

ADER ERROR Black & Off-White Woven Messenger Bag

Georgina

16Arlington Hoku Ostrich-feather Trimmed Crop Top in Black ($535)

we11done Black Polyester Jacket ($495)

Vetements Boomerang zebra-print leather pumps

$508

Schiaparelli SINGLE BREASTED CORSET JACKET (5 100 €)

Burc Akyol NO-FUR EMBROIDERED WAISTCOAT - € 1200,00

Gucci Women's Interlocking G studs sandal- € 1.090

Kate

Donna Karan Wool-Blend Printed Trench Coat ($595)

And other stories Fitted Merino Knit Turtleneck in green ($89)

And other stories Horse Crewneck Sweater - $71.40

And other stories Jacquard Cat Motif Sweater ($129)

Brock Collection Qualita jacquard peplum top ($546)

ALEX MILL Linen, Tencel and cotton-blend twill blazer -$108 (brown)

ALEXACHUNG Pippard floral-print cotton-poplin shirt - $145

BOUTIQUE MOSCHINO Pussy-bow floral-print silk-satin blouse - $248

Otto mom

Louis Vuitton BOUCLÉ WOOL PEPLUM TOP

Romona Keveza Plunging Illusion Mermaid Gown - EUR 6002

Otto sister

Alix Clarkson Ribbed Cut-Out Midi Dress ($295)

Pippa sykes

Blumarine Logo-Embellished Cropped Cardigan ($680)

Ashley Williams Red Love You Crystal Clip Earrings ($147)

Alix Phoenix Top ($177)

Vivienne Westwood check-pattern Orb heart crossbody bag ($311)

Rodarte Sequined halterneck crop top ($742) -Party

RICHARD QUINN Rose-print velvet miniskirt ($266)

And other stories Neck Tie Lace Button-Up Shirt ($99)

And other stories Beaded Cotton Skirt - $89.40

Aje Off-the-shoulder Pleated Organza Top – Ivory ($395)

LOVE MOSCHINO Double-breasted checked wool-blend tweed coat - $390 (Purple)

BOUTIQUE MOSCHINO Frayed checked wool-blend jacket - $398

Bags

Pertegaz Signature morado - 1.200,00 €

Pertegaz Couture S Rojo - 1.250,00 €

nadia chellaoui CALIPS'OH - $685

0 notes

ibwtonline · 2 years

Link

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: alicia adams alpaca Arena travel blanket Light Taupe new without tags.

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mnmarvelgirl · 2 years

Photo

Fireside: a book, cozy sweater and leggings, hot coffee, curled up on the couch in dim light

Halloween: Mad scientist

Chestnut: It depends, but probably cold, rainy days

Pumpkin: The burst of color

Woodland: X-men, minus the violence

Sweater: Leggings, tank top, sweater, booties, hoop earings

Hedgehog: My wedding ring

Candle: Cinnamon

Harvest: “How to be Anti-Racist”

Leaves: all of it?

Socks: I don’t know that I have a pair...

Moonlit: Carving pumpkins

Acorn: Halloween

Plaid: Taylor Swift’s “I Remember It All Too Well”

Maple: Moody toned library with rain on the windows

Cinnamon: I like Chai in the fall

Quilt: Hocus Pocus, Adams Family movies

Cosy: Fires, cashmere sweaters, cuddling, the smell of books, leaves falling

Deer: Fall, Summer, Winter, Spring

#journal

0 notes

dark-mnjiro · 10 days

Text

adam x cashmere hellstrgram dump

#hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel #adam x cashmere #lee selfships #adam x lee #lee selfship #for anyone late to the party #cashmere is my hellsona

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lamaisongaga · 2 years

Photo

FASHION CREDITS: “HOUSE OF GUCCI” PART I

After the huge success “A Star is Born” has been, Lady Gaga appears again on the silver screen as the main charakter in Ridley Scott’s “House of Gucci”.

The biographical crime film, which celebrated its release on November 24, 2021, tells the story of Italian socialite Patrizia Reggiani who was tried and convicted of orchestrating the assassination of her ex-husband's and former head of the Gucci fashion house Maurizio Gucci, portrayed by Adam Driver.

Award-winning costume designer Janty Yates put together and designed many of the looks for Gaga. Glam by Sarah Tanno-Stewart and hair by Frederic Aspiras. Here’s the first part of our fashion breakdown!

Patrizia is being introduced to us as a young girl who works as an accountant at her father’s transportation business.

Gaga sported this Art Deco-printed, olive-green plunging dress with tiered hem – a custom piece designed by Janty Yates and turned into reality by her cutter Dominic Young and his team. Janty and Dominic created the majority of Gaga’s looks for the film and you’ll see all of them here!

For the masquerade party at night, the Italian-American beauty wears this custom Janty Yates x Dominic Young cocktail dress with bows on the shoulders, rendered in red silk and draped to create a beautiful knot on the front, based on the pink Chanel Fall/Winter 1987 Haute Couture dress Reggiani originally wore to a party.

Next, she carried the Original Venice Shop gold metal Dulcinea mask with strass and stick (€88).

Bvlgari was one of the major jewelry houses that provided some stunning pieces to be worn by Gaga in the movie! First up, these earrings set in platinum with two oval Mozambique rubies, round brilliant diamonds, and pavé set diamonds...

...and matching necklace, both from the "Magnifica" high joaillerie collection.

The black beaded clutch with gold metal frame is signed by Villanueva Carey, a label specializing in women’s evening bags.

Most of LG’s gloves in the movie are signed by Paula Rowan whose pieces were also worn in Gaga's latest Vogue editorial! Here, Montserrat black silk opera-length gloves.

She also wore the Gianvito Rossi Montecarlo D’Orsay red suede ankle tie pumps with crystal ankle strap.

The two meet again at the library where she’s wearing a rare vintage Burberry brown & beige plaid trenchcoat with buckle details and silk lining.

Underneath, she wore a Denner Cashmere polo jumper in white and a bespoke Dominic Young blue pleated skirt.

She paired it with the Hermés L'Entente Cordiale scarf - a print created by Loic Dubigeon which dates back to 1994. A splendid carre that takes us around France and history in exquisite detail.

Also, her personal vintage bag and Bruno Magli yellow leather loafer pumps with horsebit detail!

She receives a call by Maurizio while wearing this Tina pink silk camisole dress with fabulous lace trim along the neckline...

...and these black fur pom pom mules from Jaimies “Les iconiques de la féminité” collection.

On her and Maurizio’s first date at the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, Patrizia wore an Eco Italy puff sleeve blouse, custom Dominic Young laser-cut skirt in taupe, and this vintage 1970s orange knit cape with butterfly, heart and snowflake motifs – a piece from her own wardrobe!

Her large straw hat is by Pieroni, the gold-tone stud earrings from H&M, her other jewelry and leather bag by Pikkio, watch by Tudor and shoes by POMPEI.

She’s also clad in these Paula Rowan Aida tan suede leather gloves.

The love story continues and Gaga is seen rocking this Max Mara Studio Spring/Summer 2021 Guido brown & ivory polka-dot midi dress with detachable elongated cognac-colored leather belt and concealed button front!

Her tan leather V-strap pumps are designed by Janty Yates for her.

She carried her necessities inside a vintage Gucci tan leather flap clutch with gold-tone hardware.

For the boat date, Gagaloo wore this romantic Sandro Dami floral-printed mini dress with ruffled, asymmetrical hem and crossover neckline.

She matched it with her aforementioned Burberry coat and Bruno Magli loafers.

When meeting Rodolfo Gucci for the first time, Patrizia wears this custom Dominic Young colorful Monet-inspired printed dress with long sleeves.

The waist was cinched with this rare vintage Saint Laurent red leather and gold metal belt.

She also carried this vintage Gucci ivory leather purse with gold-tone metal hardware. Other accessories included Pikkio jewelry and POMPEI heels.

For her infamous sex scene, Patrizia rocked this Maje Roman botanical-printed mini dress with ivory lace insets. The costume department had the dress slightly altered by giving it a V-neckline!

Gaga wore it with a La Perla Brigitta bra, matching Brazilian lace briefs and Exotique off-white lace suspender belt.

The look was accessorized with another pair of H&M stud earrings...

...Wolford white lace stockings, Pikkio jewelry and bespoke POMPEI heels.

Here comes the bride! For her grand wedding, Patrizia wore a custom Dominic Young 80s-inspired romantic white lace appliqué hi-lo wedding dress with matching long veil, and bridal jewelry from Pikkio!

"Everything was sewn by hand so it took between eight and ten weeks to make that gown. We actually had the photographs of Patrizia herself at her actual wedding, and made a replica of the quite plain dress she wore for that as well. We didn’t decide until the morning we were shooting the wedding scene which one we were going to use. LG put both of them on, but in the end the more OTT one won – it was just overwhelmingly beautiful." Janty told Dazed.

The Manolo Blahnik Hangisi white satin pumps with crystal buckle detail were the perfect bridal shoe choice.

Click here to check out part II!

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brattyfics · 3 years

Text

Cape Disappointment | Part One

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Black!OC [Chantel Williams]

Summary: Miguel doesn’t rescue a damsel in distress because Chantel Williams is not a damsel in distress.

Warnings: None yet.

Chantel Williams was a lot of things. Quirky, witty, sarcastic. Condescending, impulsive, sometimes even chaotic. She could be all those things and more, but she refused to be anyone’s victim.

“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m not a damsel in distress…” She chanted over and over in a low tone.

On the side of a low traffic road, snow raining down on her head, Chantel willed the words to be true. Unfortunately, she remembered very little of what her Papa taught her about cars, eyeing the confusing parts under the hood with frustration.

Papa was a school teacher but he worked as a shade tree mechanic on the weekends to be able to afford dance classes for little Chantel. Teaching was his passion through and through. He would talk her ear off in the car on the way to recitals or while she did homework on the bench in his workshop. Being a bratty kid, she learned to tune him out when the topic didn’t interest her and not for the first time she regretted not soaking up more of Papa’s wisdom before he passed.

If she had, maybe she wouldn’t be stuck on the side of the road with no solution in mind. Empty handed and no closer to fixing the car, she shuffled through the snow. It wasn’t much warmer inside the car despite the thick North Face coat she wore with a matching hat and pair of gloves. She was sure she resembled a wet dog as she shook the snow off, not wanting the ice to melt into water droplets that would surely sting.

Just a week earlier, she’d splurged on the fanciest new smart phone after losing the older model at a dinner party. Even with all its promised features, it was useless. No signal and no nearby WiFi networks to connect to meant she couldn’t call her sort-of-sometimes boyfriend for help even if she wanted to. She couldn’t even call a tow truck!

Pride.

Another one of Chantel’s many traits. She liked to think of it as a positive thing. It kept her from being desperate, saved her from being dependent on others for her happiness. No one else seemed to agree her pride was a good thing.

Among the naysayers was her sort-of-sometimes boyfriend, Adam. Pride was what had led her to take off from the Yurt they shared on their week-long winter break getaway to race back to her industrial loft in the heart of Seattle despite the weather advisory. She would never admit it to anyone else, but she realized her pride didn’t always serve her well.

If not for her bruised ego, it would have been funny that her car had chosen to break down a few miles north of Cape Disappointment State Park. It was where she had been staying with Adam. The yurt was too far away to walk back to in the snow but still close enough that it only made sense to stay there for the night once the car issues were resolved. She wasn’t looking forward to ending the night with him.

Remembering Papa’s belief in God showing up when most needed, Chantel sent up a quick prayer. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to wait long for someone else to come down the otherwise deserted road. Winters in Washington were fairly mild so she wouldn’t lose her extremities to hypothermia or anything crazy like that, but she’d certainly suffer by way of the shivers.

Any sane person was cuddled up next to the fireplace in their cabin with a bowl of chili, or participating in heat-inducing sexual activities in their yurt to keep warm, not on the road driving. It was only natural for her thoughts to snowball into all the types of un-same people she could run into.

Indigenous women from Washington and Canada went missing far too often on roads just like the one she had so conveniently broken down on. Chantel had a bad habit of researching everything there was to know about topics when they peaked her interest and she knew too much about human trafficking in the area to not feel a considerable amount of fear.

“That would be my luck.” She muttered meanly to herself, resolving that whatever happened would be her own fault.

It wasn’t like a whole lot of people would come looking for her anyway. She had a large group of friends in Seattle, but she kind of had a reputation for taking off without saying much. She hadn’t even told anyone about the weekend excursion to Cape Disappointment! The family she had left she wasn’t close to, and by the time Adam realized she hadn’t made it back home it would be too late.

Yellow headlights bathed the narrow road, the light blinding her the closer it got. Her hazard lights blinked red, signaling that she was broken down, but Chantel second guessed whether she wanted the help.

“I’m going to be a sex trafficking victim all in the name of independence. Way to go, idiot.”

Her fingers fumbled around in the gigantic backpack she’d been using as a purse for the weekend, hastily pulling at the zippers until she found what she was looking for. A purple taser she purchased on Amazon for a whopping ten dollars. She doubted it would stop anyone in their tracks, but it was better than nothing.

It turned out the man who knocked on her window wasn’t an axe wielding serial murdering rapist, or at least he didn’t appear to be. She tucked the small device into her side as the ridiculously handsome middle aged man with a salt and pepper beard smiled at her through the foggy glass.

He looked harmless enough, sporting a pair of smart designer glasses and what Chantel knew to be a really expensive cashmere turtleneck sweater underneath an equally expensive Canada Goose coat. She wasn’t shy about looking him up and down as she assessed the risk. What if the male model was a decoy?

His neatly manicured eyebrows twisted down in confusion and she thought it was one of the cutest things she had ever seen.

She rolled down the window with a nervous smile.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

She hated how breathy the words came out but he was truly stunning.

Tall, fit, well-dressed.

“Are you alright? It looks like you’re having some trouble.”

A gentleman.

“What would make you think that?” Chantel spoke before she thought it through, but the stranger didn’t seem to take offense if the amused smirk on his face could be trusted. “I’m kidding. Yeah, no. I’m not alright. The car was making weird noises so I pulled over and now it won’t turn back on. I looked under the hood but I have no idea what’s wrong.”

He nodded attentively while she spoke, watching her lips with interest. She noticed him staring and licked them.

“I don’t know how much of a help I’ll be.” His bronze skin reddened with the admission and she wondered if he was blushing or if the cold was getting to him. “I don’t know anything about cars but I can give you a ride wherever you want.”

She’d like a ride alright. In his cushiony truck that may as well have been a royal carriage considering the circumstances. Or on his handsome bearded face that she couldn’t stop staring at.

Chantel wondered if he could tell what she was thinking.

Movement caught her eye and she noticed an identical black SUV pulling off the road to park behind the one Prince Charming departed from. Her hand squeezed around the taser instinctively.

Was the sexy stranger bait to catch naive, unsuspecting girls?

“...but I’m sure we’d both rather leave it to the professionals.” He gestured back towards the dark truck and paused, noticing they weren’t alone. Her breath caught in her chest when four bulking men slammed their doors shut and started walking in their direction.

“I apologize. That’s my security team. I left without telling them.”

Hmm. A kindred spirit.

Who was he to have a security team? Was he telling the truth? Or just stalling?

She wanted to believe him. To trust that it was in human nature to help one another without some ulterior, sinister motive.

Did she even have a choice? How long would she have to wait on the next passerby? There was no guarantee they would be any better than the (so far) kind stranger and his friends.

Chantel Williams was a lot of things, but she was not naïve. With surprising coordination, she swung the door open, knocking the man back several steps. Her boots crunched as she landed in the snow.

“Back up or I’m going to tase you!” She warned, putting space between herself and the stranger while keeping an eye on the approaching men.

The corners of his mouth turned up as he fought back a smile.

Chantel scoffed. He wasn’t taking her seriously.

“I’m not fucking around!” She insisted, charging up the small device. The buzz felt more powerful than she remembered. The man seemed to think so too, changing his approach. He spoke in a soft tone. “Can we slow down?”

“Don’t patronize me. Just back up like I said. No, this way!” She ordered until he stood across from her with his back to his men.

Behind him, they speed up their approach but they could only move so fast in the snow. Following her gaze, the strange man looked over his shoulder and gestured for the men to stall at the front of his truck several feet away. One of them shouted at her to put the taser away from his position. He sported two braids and a cut in his brow. Chantel shouted back at him to ‘shut the fuck up’

Mr. GQ gave another signal and like he was the conductor of an orchestra, all noise ceased. Well, all external noise at least. Chantel swore she could hear the sound of her heart ringing in her ears.

“Hey!” He demanded her full attention. His hands were up in a defensive position. “What are you looking for here?”

It was a great question but she had no answer for him.

Trouble maker. Fire starter. Full-time agitator.

Chantel was that way even as a child, responding to normal adolescent teasing with violence. Sharp bites in the classroom or royal rumble style fights on the playground were her specialty in grade school. She made anyone stupid enough to provoke her regret it whether big or small, male or female. That wasn’t to say she was organized or calculating in her plans. She acted and dealt with things as they came.

She had no idea what the endgame was when she pulled the taser, but she had to stick with it. The crowd of onlookers made her feel more justified in her rash decision.

“I don’t think you really want to hurt me.”

“Now, what would make you think that?” Chantel asked incredulously. He didn’t know her from Eve.

She was even more steadfast in pointing the taser in his direction but he didn’t seem phased.

“When you want to hurt somebody, you don’t wait around or warn them. You just do it.”

“Are you suggesting I should’ve tased you?”

He shrugged as if they were discussing the weather.

“That certainly would have been more effective.”

Was he serious?

“I mean I still can. If you keep talking I just might.”

He had the gall to laugh in her face.

Hysterically.

And it wasn’t fleeting or sarcastic. It was genuine laughter from deep down in his gut. She hated how beautiful he was, even in the middle of showing blatant disrespect for her ability to harm him.

“Seriously?” She griped, fighting against the way her face muscles twitched.

Giggle box.

When somebody at church mispronounced a word during the announcements or when her aunt murdered a hit song, she giggled uncontrollably. Papa chastised her for it, but it couldn’t be helped. When the urge struck and she got that itch in her throat, she had to laugh.

So naturally, like two birds of a maniac feather they shared a laugh in four (and counting) inches of snow.

***

GENERAL TAGLIST

@woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @sheeshgivemeabreak @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked @angelreyesgirl @blessedboo @glimmerglittergirl @apantherinmypastlife @brownsugarcoffy @marvelmaree @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @thewarriorprincessxo @sadeyesgf @pearlkitten33 @imanerdychubbyqueen @literaturefeen @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @everyhowlmarksthedead @yourwonkywriter @trulysuccubus

MIGUEL TAGLIST

@thesandbeneathmytoes @taylortheeshowpony

#mayans mc #miguel galindo #miguel galindo x black!reader #miguel galindo x black!oc #miguel galindo x reader

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bi-writes · 4 years

Note

do you have any fix recs for tom or haz smut x innocent reader? high key into praise kink!

you know what. how about i just write one with mob!tom? caution below nsfw content ahead haha.

It was quiet tonight. You had a cup of tea steaming on the kitchen counter behind you, and you were sitting on the couch with your knees tucked underneath you, reading a book. You had the lights off, but candles on, and there was a soft, lovely glow around the room. This was your favorite way to end an evening. Tea, a good book, and the coziness of candlelight before you would start to get tired and ready for bed.

It surprised Harrison when he found out about you. Tom was distracted from work recently, too distracted, and he was always leaving or on his way out or showing up late or not at all. He was worried something was going on, and when he found out about you, he couldn’t really believe it. You were not his type. You were quiet and reserved, gentle and delicate, and Harrison thought Tom might break you with his hard tones, his rough touch, and his inability to empathize with people. But he was wrong.

Tom was in love with you. He was infatuated with you. And he adored the innocent presence you gave off as soon as you came into a room. It made you so...responsive. Every touch, every word, every kiss, it made you blush and squeal and giggle, and he loved telling you the words you secretly wanted to hear. His confidence was so attractive to you, his inability to keep his thoughts to himself drove you wild, and even though you seemed calm and shy in front of others, Tom had discovered you blossomed like a flower behind closed doors, if he encouraged you enough. It was like a secret you kept from anyone else, as if something only Tom had the privilege of seeing, and he liked it that way. He didn’t want anyone else knowing how beautiful you were, truly.

There was a knock at the door. You were a bit annoyed, getting to a really good part in the novel. You bookmarked the page and put it down, fixing your sweater and your shorts before padding towards the door. You got up on your toes and peeked through to see who it was, and you smiled when you saw a head of lovely dark curls.

You unlocked the door, opening it, rocking back and forth on your heels in front of him.

“H-Hi, Tommy.”

He looked up from his phone, smirking, putting it into a pocket of his suit jacket. He looked so handsome, he must have just come from work. He was wearing a waistcoat even tonight, his tie tucked into it, and he had a lovely cashmere scarf and coat on.

“Hello, darling,” he murmured. “Missed me?”

You nodded, cupping his cheeks and kissing him so gently, sighing into it.

“I-I missed you so much. I always miss you,” you said softly. “What are you doing here?”

“I just got off work, and I...” He wrapped an arm around your middle, shrugging, “I don’t know. I just had to see you.”

“A long day?” You asked, taking your glasses off, and he nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, his gaze growing distant as he looked away. “Yeah, it was long, alright.”

You bit your lip, pulling him inside and shutting the door. When Tom first admitted what he did during the day, you had freaked out. You kicked him out, blocked him, told him to leave you alone for the rest of your life. It was a shock to see you that way. He never anticipated ever seeing you in such a way. You were upset and angry and terrified, and he did leave you alone. He did exactly as you asked, but it had killed him inside to disappoint you so much. He wanted to be better for you, but he knew he never could be. He was in this business for life, and he’d only leave if was killed for it or died in it.

And then you caved. One day, you just showed up at his place, and you didn’t let him speak until he heard your side of things, until he listened to how you felt. You were a good girl, you never did anything wrong or illegal in your life, but how could you stay away from Tom? You couldn’t. He was your vice, and he had latched onto you from the moment you began seeing each other. You were adamant that you would never let him go again, but he was to keep you and his business separate. Never intertwined, never together, and never even the chance for the two to cross. You had met Harrison and his brothers, but that was as far as you went. You made that clear.

You guided Tom to your couch, reaching into your cabinets for the liquor. You never drank hard liquor, but you always had some on handy now for him. You poured it into a glass and brought it to him on the couch. He took a few sips from it before he beckoned you close.

You neared him, and he grabbed you gently by the arm, tugging you into his lap. He sighed deeply, putting the drink down, taking the opportunity to touch your sides, his fingertips a bit rough and calloused but wonderful nonetheless.

“I see what you came for,” you said simply, and he shrugged.

“I won’t lie to you about my intentions. You know how I feel.”

“You know, if you’re just going to come over here to get laid, you might as well pay me.”

He tossed his head back and laughed at that. It sounded so strange coming from you. You were the sweetest human on the planet, and he rarely heard naughty or sexual innuendos coming from your sweet mouth. It took him months to coax you into his bed, and even now, he found it difficult to convince you at times. You loved it, of course you did, but you were shy. Tom had bed hundreds of women before you probably, and he was the only partner you ever opened up to like that.

Literally.

But Tom had his tricks. He had learned it after a few months, and it was his favorite thing to do with you. There was only one thing you responded to, only one thing that guaranteed you’d let him toss you onto the bed and have his way with you.

He stopped laughing, meeting your eyes for a moment before they trailed lower. They gazed at your lips, and he licked his own, bringing his gaze down further to look you up and down.

He leaned forward and gave you a kiss, one that had you giggling and blushing already. He chuckled into the kiss, running his hands down your sides and back up again, this time underneath your sweater so his touch was teasing your bare skin.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he muttered between kisses. “The things you fucking do to me...”

You whined a bit, “Tom, I know what you’re doing.”

“Aye,” he tilted your head to the side as he tangled one hand into your hair and tugged, “but it works every time.”

“You make me sound pathetic, Tommy.”

“’s not pathetic, darling, it’s sweet,” he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, and you whimpered at that. “Just like you. My sweet angel...my good girl...”

His good girl.

You were done, you knew, right there. Any ounce of steel that you had in your body left you, and you knew you’d let Tom do anything he wanted to you. He knew you would let him do anything he wanted to you.

“C’mere, baby,” he muttered, and you sunk into his lap, letting him take your sweater right off over your head. He whistled lowly as you did, making you go red all over, even more than you already were. “Jesus. Every fucking time, you just...get more beautiful than the last.”

“Tom, stop,” you breathed, whimpering again, and he shook his head.

“I’m never going to stop. Now take your clothes off, before I ruin them, love.”

You slid off of his lap for a moment, doing as you were told. He shed his clothes as well, popping the buttons on his waistcoat and dress shirt, throwing the tie to the side as he took most of his clothes off. You sat back in his lap when you had shed everything but your panties, and you helped him unbuckle his belt, undoing his trousers for him as you kissed gently.

Nothing was ever rushed between the two of you. It was always sweet. But nothing was ever too sweet with Tom. He always made you feel...naughty.

“Keep touching me like that, I’m gonna bloody finish in my pants,” he growled. You were having trouble with the zipper, and you laughed a bit, tilting your head to the side so he could kiss your neck.

“Sorry, sorry...”

He sighed, bringing you up higher on his lap, pressing a palm flat between your shoulder blades so he could kiss and lick around your collarbones, teasing you.

“God, y/n, you feel like fucking heaven,” he muttered. “And I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve a beautiful angel, but I’m too fucking selfish to let you go.”

“Oh, Tom—”

He shut you up with a kiss, and it was a bit rushed now. He whispered against your lips, promising to treat you afterwards, pushing your panties aside with a few fingers before you felt him bringing you down on top of him.

“Oh, God, Tom—!” You cried out. You were surprised that he was so desperate, but you couldn’t blame him. You were dripping wet, too eager, and you needed relief.

“You’re so lovely,” he whispered in your ear, putting a hand on your hip to guide you on top of him. “Your cunt is so sweet, my darling.”

“T-Tom, I swear, y-you’re going to kill me,” you whined. The praise was too much for you, you adored it too much, and you were squeezing your eyes shut at the immense pleasure running up and down your body, all the way to your curling toes.

He chuckled darkly, “not going to kill you, love, I’m going to fuck you.”

You collapsed onto his chest as he moved you, and you couldn’t breathe, you felt.

“You’re so beautiful.”

“You’re so tight, darling...”

“Just like that, you know what I like, don’t you?”

“Oh, you’re so good for me, you always are, aren’t you?”

“God, fuck, you never disappoint.”

It was too much. In a few minutes, all you could see were stars, and you bit down on his shoulder as you rode out your high, desperate to feel relief. You whined when you came together, collapsing onto the couch with him, still tangled in his arms as you tried to calm down the panting breaths you were having.

“Tommy, you always know just what to say,” you whispered as he planted soft, soothing kisses to your shoulder.

He smirked, shaking his head.

“I know, baby. I know.”

#YO THIS IS WILD AHHA #tom holland imagines #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland au #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fic #mob!tom #thnsfw #requested

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detectivegreene · 4 years

Text

Tides: Nate Sewell x F!Detective

Author’s Note: Sensory Prompt 83: Getting Water in Your Eyes for @yaushie. Set on a coastal beach in the Pacific Northwest.

He’s carefully rolling his wool trousers above his knees when the wave crashes against him. Salt stings his eyes and his body goes rigid at the once familiar bite of the ocean. He remembers the relentless pounding of rain, the sharp crack of the mast as it splintered to the deck below, the blood-thick air and the cries of —

Emma’s bright voice breaks through the memory. “God, you’re drenched!” She’s fighting back laughter and brushing at his broad shoulders as though it might help. “Honestly, Agent Sewell, who wears cashmere to the beach?”

“I don’t usually wander into the ocean mid-patrol, Detective. And you promised we wouldn’t get wet.” His accusation has no bite, and he finds himself smiling down at her. Her eyes brighten with mischief.

“Well, since we already have…”

A moment later, she’s tangling her fingers with his, pulling him deeper into the cool coastal water. He barely notices the waves, losing himself to the feeling of her hand in his and the way her pulse quickens with excitement as she points to something just a little further out.

______

Back on the shore, Adam checks his watch for the third time, fighting his urge to stay on schedule as Nate’s warm laugh echoes across the water to them. Felix turns to him, brow furrowed in confusion. ”I thought Nate hated the ocean?"

A smile ticks at the edge of Adam’s mouth as he looks out at his friend. "He does.”

#this is the first tiny thing i've written after months of writers block #so please be gentle #the wayhaven chronicles #twc #agent sewell #agent n #nate sewell #my writing

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

Text

Cry for Help

Colton and the Host, referenced in this piece, are OCs who belong to @shameless-whumper.

CW: Owen is a violent abuser, and in this update the violence comes out in a big way, both verbal and physical. Kauri is an abuse survivor with patterns of justification and affection. Features noncon touching, choking, violent abuse, referenced dubcon/noncon. Please be safe.

Tagging: @maybeawhumpblog, @pepperonyscience, @haro-whumps, @18-toe-beans, @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @giggly-evil-puppy, @whimpers-and-whumpers, @whump-it, @lumpofwhump, @pumpkinthefangirl

“‘I hope Owen gets arrested, that sick fuck.’”

Owen reads the words out loud, pronouncing each syllable altogether too clearly, the glass of brown liquor in his hand holding Kauri’s frightened attention where he sits on the floor next to the coffee table, eyes carefully averted from the laptop’s screen.

The Host had put up a new video, featuring some story someone had written about Colton and Kauri and put up on the internet - and Kauri’s day had gone from secretly exciting to terrifying with unsettling speed.

He'd liked the video of the Host and Colton reading, actually - liked the way Colton had gotten into it a little in the middle. It felt almost like talking to him, or maybe just getting to see him talk to someone else. He kind of wanted to hear the bits where they were kissing again, even if the ending was sad.

Kauri could overlook a sad ending, if there were parts in the middle where things were okay, and he got to kiss someone he actually wanted to kiss.

Not that he wanted to, um-

Kauri made himself stop thinking that way, worried Owen might notice his red face and ask oh, you like that fucking pet that much? And Kauri was a good liar, but not when he was caught off guard.

The thing was, Kauri had really liked the video - up until Colton got upset at the end, when Kauri couldn’t stop himself from fidgeting with the urge to somehow soothe someone from miles and miles away - but Owen hadn’t liked it. Not at all.

Normally he watched the videos at least three times the first day, but he'd only watched that video once. He'd muttered, he's my fucking property. I'm not the bad guy, here, you fucking hacks can't write for shit - how the fuck did they know about your weird bullshit with my Roomba? Shit, it has to be someone I know who wrote this.

Then he started drinking.

Owen is still drinking, hours later. He hasn't watched the YouTube video again. Instead, he's doing something far, far worse - reading the comments.

People had linked to other stories about them, too, sharing recommendations and favorites, and it seemed like all the writing made Owen furious.

All he would say about whatever he saw was like fuck you’d ever be that forward. Baking cookies… fucking nonsense. Besides, I’d never let him get anywhere near you.

Too late, Kauri kept thinking, again and again, trying not to betray a single thought with his expression. Inwardly he felt thrilled, defiant, like he was keeping the world’s biggest secret all to himself. Too late, he’s already gotten near me, too late, he is what I think my type was if my type was guys, I've been thinking about him when I'm with you, too late too late too late.

You don't know I can still feel the hug.

You don't know how many protocols I would violate.

Owen wouldn’t stop reading, and he wouldn’t stop drinking, and Kauri started to become afraid... especially when finishing one bottle turned into opening the second.

His defiant private thoughts turn slowly to silent pleading.

Please please please close the laptop. Please put the bottle away. Please stop being so angry.

But Owen just keeps reading, and drinking, and there's nothing to do but wait.

Now he’s wrapped in one of Owen’s soft blankets, wearing the cashmere sweater he’d worn to meet Karen Renford and fuzzy fleece-lined black pants. It's too warm for all those things but the bourbon in Owen’s glass keeps his blood running cold and if he lets the blanket fall, he starts to shiver.

“Kauri, listen to these fucking assholes. This lady used her actual name? How stupid can you be? Anyway, Michaela Tompson. ‘Poor kids. I used to like Owen Grant, but now I guess I will burn all merch.” Owen snorts, eyebrows furrowed in dark anger over his eyes.

Kauri watches the liquid slosh around in the glass, and feels the nearly-healed bruise on the side of his neck ache in what might be phantom pain, or maybe just getting ready for the future. He curls up a little tighter.

“Go ahead, Micaela, stop buying merch.” Owen spits the words at the woman who cannot hear him. “My money’s all in the fucking stock market now, you stupid bitch."

Next to him on the floor, Keira beeps four times, slow and soft, a question. Kauri reaches one hand out from the blanket to lay it on her warm plastic and metal exterior. She whirrs beneath his touch and he thinks it's like the feeling of a cat purring even though he doesn't know what that's like… does he?

He can’t take his eyes off the drink or the half-empty bottle on the table. Can't stop looking up towards Owen's face, reading the simmering, awful rage there and trying to predict when it will be turned in his direction.

I am going to get hurt tonight, but I don’t know how yet.

It's a horrible feeling, a sick drop of inevitability in his stomach that makes him want to flinch every time Owen moves.

He feels trapped, penned in, locked up with someone dangerous that he cannot run away from. He doesn't even want to run, not really. He just wants Owen to stop being so angry about nothing, go back to touching him like normal, to holding him on the couch and making him watch things that make him uncomfortable or nervous.

This is just words. It’s just stuff people wrote, it was just Colton's annoyed and wonderful red face in the video, it was just words, and Kauri only knows what they are when Owen says them out loud.

And then argues with them.

It's just words, that's all, but Kauri remembers knowing once upon a time how important words can be. Before they took words away from him.

Oh, pets don't read. It'd just give you ideas, Kor-Bore.

Colton still gets to read, though, and that means what Owen told him - that all pets aren’t allowed - was a lie.

Kauri tells Owen a lot of lies, but he’s beginning to wonder what Owen has lied to him about.

"Let’s see who else… Bennyshere99 said, ‘Who thought this senator’s brat is so miserable he needed to buy a living s*x toy?’ Man, fuck that asshole. That’s not what you are, is it, Kor-Bore?”

Kauri jumps when Owen says his name, jerking his eyes from the glass to Owen’s. The green is a little glazed over with alcohol, and he swallows against his fear and answers in the softest, sweetest voice he can manage. “N-No, Mr. Owen. I’m a Romantic Companion with Combination skillsets-”

“Or at least if you are, you're the best fucking toy money can buy. Can't find you next to some sticky fucking DVDs," Owen mutters, interrupting him, ignoring - or simply not caring about - the stricken look on Kauri's face.

It’s one thing to know you’re a designated Romantic Companion Box Boy. It’s another thing to hear yourself called a toy.

“‘He looks just like Daddy Shield-'” Owen’s voice cuts off, and his teeth grind together. “See, that's the one thing I don’t like about the Host, they have a thing for Vince just like every-fucking-body does now. They don’t know who he is at all, they don’t know he’s just a fucking tease. You know? I mean, I could tell them about him, but… no one gets it. He puts on that stupid Good Boy Next Door act and every-fucking-body buys it. He came on to me, Kauri. Then he has the fucking gall… I overreacted, sure, but he's the one who started it...” Kauri watches him take another drink, the way his throat shifts, Adam’s apple moving as he swallows another mouthful.

He is going to hurt me again.

Owen is safe.

Owen is safe and he hurts me… and for me those are the same thing.

“Let’s see… ‘How likely is it there would be some person in the Box Boy system that looks just like him? And Owen Grant is the one to buy him? Weren’t he and Vincent Shield dating or whatever way back when’-... we weren’t dating, you fucking assholes. Although we should have been, if it weren't for Vince. Did you know, Kor-Bore, he hasn't even dated anyone except that fucking fake girlfriend since he walked out on me? He knows, he knows we were meant to be together and he ruined it!" Owen's hand slams down in a fist on the coffee table hard enough to rattle the laptop and half-empty bottle.

The sound makes Kauri jump, his heart skipping a beat, eyes wide. When he shrinks into his blanket, Owen glances at him and smirks.

"What's your problem?"

"J-just surprised, Mr. Owen, that's, um, that's all," Kauri squeaks.

"Jesus, you're like a mouse." Owen leans over and his attempt to grab at Kauri's chin goes wide at first, before thumb and forefinger grasp hard enough to hurt, forcing Kauri's eyes up to his. "Good thing you're pretty, you don't have much else in there, do you?"

Kauri doesn’t nod, or shake his head. He only stares, wide-eyed, and that seems to be enough.

Owen looks at him, licking his lips, thinking. "You are pretty, though, all this bullshit these assholes wrote… they didn't get that wrong."

Kauri knows this look, this voice - normally it makes him a little sick at the same time his training kicks in to get him to tilt his head and smile and use your nonverbal cues, it's not like it's hard.

Please, please don't, I don't want to learn- Hands twisting in his hair, forcing him down until his chest is on the floor and his hips in the air, spinning with dizziness from last eating two days ago, staring down at the boots of his trainer, the pain of the shock collar when his legs don't spread fast enough, far enough. Please!

He knew Owen's look the first day he came here, knew to smile and look like he wanted it, because no one touched him anymore, he wanted someone to touch him.

Sometimes Owen's look made him sick. Tonight, he feels desperate for it.

Please, yes, that's better, that doesn't hurt and you'll stop drinking.

The moment of deliberation ends with Owen shoving Kauri's chin to the side roughly as he lets go, making him fall back a little so he has to catch himself with one hand to stay up. Then Owen ruffles his hair with a hand that slaps down too heavily on his head, painfully tangles on his curls, all but yanks his head to the side. He winces, biting his lower lip, but Owen doesn't notice or doesn't care.

"Well," he says, turning back to the screen, "Whatever happened with Vince… At least I have you now and you're not going anywhere... Let's see the next one... ‘I’m sure this position is just so he is easier to wash’. Ha, nice.” Owen smirks, glancing down at Kauri. “Easier after ess eee ex, am I right?”

Kauri’s face flames red when Owen winks, Kauri's hand under the blanket digging tightly into the fabric of the soft pajama pants over his thigh. The lurch of sickness in his stomach fights with the dizzy rush of shame for what he is and what he does and remembers, sometimes, that he doesn't want to do. “I, I don’t-”

“Oh shit, that’s literally the next comment! Great fucking minds.” Owen grins back at him, and then he barks a laugh that makes Kauri drop his eyes back to the floor. “Look at your face! Kor-Bore if you don’t think everyone knows what I keep you for now…”

Hold position, 645898.

Pl-please, you can’t just m-m-make people do this, you can’t!

I said hold position.

No! I won't!

Administer shock.

Kauri hears distant screaming inside his mind, his own voice, feels his hands twitch with the memory of pain that spread from the collar around his throat.

“M-Mr. Owen, if I could just-... if I c-could maybe go to bed, please, we could go together-”

“No.” Owen refills his glass, takes another swig. His words aren’t slurred like last time, when he called Kauri ‘Vince’ and cried against his shoulder while it hurt and hurt and hurt. This bitter humor is scarier than his sadness was. “You stay right the fuck there, sweetness.”

He’s never called Kauri ‘sweetness’ before, but someone else has.

Oh, it’s the pretty little prostitot back to visit the real handler, huh? What’d he do this time, Everly?

645898 fucking bit me, Connor. He fucking bit me. I asked the supe to hand him over to you for a week to get his fucking shit in line. Marisa signed off on it, so congratulations. The only rule is you don’t touch the merchandise below the belt and you don't leave marks.

Ha. Not where anyone will notice, anyway.

No, remember, this one’s custom and the Director’s got an interest in it. Don’t leave any fucking marks, Connor.

Aw, but marks are how they learn.

Not this one. But he’ll do anything for a good touch these days.

Apparently he’s not into your good touch, if he bit you.

Yeah, well, maybe I… had a little too much fun with Position 21 this morning.

Oh shit, you mean he bit you bit you. I would, too, if you tried that shit on me. All right, 645898, let’s see… oh, sweetness, we are going to have fun teaching you not to bite anymore, aren’t we? I’d ask if you can keep a secret, but we both know you and the rocks you have in your head won’t remember a goddamn thing.

Kauri’s eyes shift towards the screen of the laptop, trying to distract himself from the memory of the dark-haired handler’s gloved hands pressing on either side of his jaw until his mouth was forced open. Trainers weren't supposed to get so involved but it wasn't like the trainees could complain to anyone and if no one saw it happen, then no one really cared.

Kauri had thrown up, was punished, and then he'd thrown up again. He was supposed to forget it - the memory of how they train you is supposed to be gone behind the wall of pain and fog and whatever they put in the water, with only the training itself left behind, there was a whole part of the brochure he had to memorize about it - but Kauri’s wall isn’t always functioning anymore.

Maybe it never was.

Owen is still reading comments, the screen a flat white covered in text, and Kauri braces against even the instinctive attempt to read them. The sharp pain in his head is nearly instantaneous, a sudden pounding, the threat of the white fog just behind it.

But Colton gets to read.

Kauri’s not exactly jealous - he wouldn’t want to live with the Host, either, with those too-wide smiles and the sharpness behind their eyes. Owen at least was soft, sometimes, and said sweet things that didn’t always have a bite or an insult behind them. But… but he is jealous that Colton gets to read.

Reading used to be my life. I used to write poetry. I can’t even look at words anymore.

Kauri remembers too much right now, and he doesn’t want the white fog to take it away again. Instead, he drops his eyes back to the ground and slowly nods. His heart is beating too hard, too fast, but Keira doesn’t say anything.

Keira doesn’t ask why, this time, and he knows she’s tracking his condition because she always is, and the soft sound of her inside machinery has changed.

He wants to believe she doesn’t want Owen to know he’s upset.

“Some weirdo named @burtlederp said, ‘Oh, is the Host doing product placement for the new Fifty Shades of Gray movie’?” Owen barked a laugh, reaching over to run a hand down his cheek and the side of his neck. Even with the nervous worry that pounded behind his eyes every time he looked at Owen’s glassy green gaze, the touch feels nice the same way all soft touch feels nice, and Kauri leans into it. "Like I'd ever let anyone else see how much you like that."

On his knees with his hands behind his back, the black leather cutting across pale skin, the pain he wasn't trained for. Owen’s tie on the floor, making Kauri’s mouth go dry.

Kauri's stomach flips again and he bites down on his lower lip so hard he feels the pain radiate out into the rest of his face. It settles under his skin alongside the shame he feels, that he’s not supposed to be able to feel any longer. The training was supposed to make him shameless.

But Kauri feels twisted, and dark, and wrong with the way Owen smiles at him now, before turning back to the screen.

I didn't want this, not with you, I didn’t want-

"'... to be fucked by a closeted gay with Mommy issues and an ego overblown by fame'..." Owen is still mumbling the comments out loud, sipping and sipping from his glass, and Kauri's eyes skip back, trying to measure how much he's had to drink by now. "'His mom's conservative, so he must have a hard time'. Yeah, that's the fucking truth, LesbiansUnite. You get it. Shove it, ChewwieCan. Oh, this guy just says they love the Host, what a good job they did, like always. Good, nice to see a nice damn comment on this page…"

He stops, the good humor draining from his face, and Kauri’s heart stills, too.

“‘I want to see Colton and Kauri interact more.’ You barely fucking interacted that time. 'Colton looked so sad at losing Kauri… the Host should read one where they get to be together' - never, Kauri, never. Listen to me, listen. I will make sure you never, ever get to have anyone but me. ‘SaveKauri20XX’ oh what the fuck, save you from what?” Owen rounds on him, like he was the one asking to be saved, and Kauri wilts back into his blanket, pulls it more tightly around himself.

Just a pair of frightened blue eyes and curly black hair.

The condo is huge but in this moment Kauri feels like it is slowly getting smaller, closing in around him. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

Owen knocks the edge of the glass into Kauri’s forehead hard enough to hurt, in a way he seems to think is playful, but it feels like the opening to something much, much worse to Kauri. “What do you need saved from, huh? Save you from never having to work a day in your life? From having all the time you fucking need to practice your positions, and do yoga, and, and-... like cardio and shit? Save you from flexibility?”

Kauri says nothing - only swallows the hints of bitterness that want to find their way out. He stays quiet. He tries not to look into Owen’s empty, glittering eyes.

“Listen to these fucking assholes, Kauri. They want you out there starving in the streets instead of right here, where you’re taken care of. They act like they care about you, Kauri, but they don’t. If they did, they’d know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be. Doing exactly what you’re made to do. Listen to this-” Owen turns back, takes another long drink. “‘This was so precious,’” and he sneers the words, finally starting to slur the syllables. “Colton is so sweet, being sad about losing him. Exclamation. Point.’ Yeah, sweet as pie, that little shit glared at me. He fucking glared at me. How dare he. ‘Kauri is too good for Owen anyway’.”

Owen glances over at him again, and Kauri sits up a little straighter. His heart is pounding in his chest, he’s half-dizzy with fear, breathing in silent shallow gasps that barely move his chest.

Please stop reading them, please stop, please-

“What do you think, Kauri?” Owen asks, in a low voice. “Are you too good for me? Do you like Colton better?”

Yes.

“No,” Kauri says with all the earnest sincerity he can force into his lie. “Of c-course not, Mr. Owen. I’m yours, I was made for you. Colt-” His voice hitches, just a little, but he covers it with more fear and Owen softens, just a little - he always forgives Kauri when he seems really, really frightened. “Colton’s just another pet. I don’t care about him. We don’t care about each other, that’s not how it works.”

Owen stares at him, and Kauri thinks for a second he didn’t buy the lie, and he wonders what part of his skin will be torn up this time, and if Owen will bring out the cane maybe or just use his teeth. Then he relaxes, his green eyes going soft with affection or maybe just the whiskey. “That’s right, you don’t care about each other. That’s right.”

He turns back to the laptop, and just as he opens his mouth to read another comment, his phone lights up with a photo at the front and a 70’s rock song starts playing, She’s just a devil woman, with evil in her eyes.

Kauri’s heart leaps with gratitude that she would call now and distract him, pull him away. Owen picks up his phone, screws his face up into an expression of annoyance that Kauri knows too well, and then says tiredly, “Mom, I don’t want to talk about the Youtube thing any longer.”

Tinny, a voice he can barely hear, Carlotta Grant snaps through the phone well what you want to talk about went out the window when you had your little custom slut spread his legs for my constituency to see!

“Look, I didn’t know they were going to have him do that part, I-” Owen pushes himself to standing, glancing down at Kauri, holding out his hand with the fingers straight and palm out, and Kauri nods quickly to show he understands the command to stay right where he is. “Mom. Mom, listen to me, that wasn’t pre-planned or anything. The Host just likes to surprise people. It’s fine, it’s not like everyone doesn’t already know what Box Boys end up doing half the time.”

We are getting inundated with calls about you!

“I don’t doubt it. Look, you don’t need to freak out about this.”

I am not ‘freaking out’, Owen John, this could severely affect our chances in the next election!

“No, it won’t. Listen, everyone loves a good ‘maternal love conquers all’ story. Just tell them that you didn’t know, but you still love me anyway. Act all shocked about it. Give a press conference, or something. Stop trying to hide from who I am and just, just let me fucking own it.” He nudges Kauri with his foot and grins down at him “Like I own Kauri.”

Kauri smiles back, nervous and trembling, blanket pulled as tightly around himself as he can get. As Owen shifts away from him, Kauri can’t hear Carlotta any longer, but Owen rolls his eyes and that tells Kauri most of what he might want to know.

“What? Yeah, ‘course he’s here, Mom, where else would he be? … No, it’s not like it matters what he overhears. That’s like giving a shit if the fish in your aquarium hear us. Kauri barely has the brains of a goat, I made sure of it.”

645898, says here you were a 4.0 at your university. English Education with a minor in… shit, Connor, listen to this bullshit. Minor in Creative Writing.

What, really? Oh shit, man. There had been glee in the Connor Trainer’s voice. Kauri’s - 645898’s - trainer and the Connor trainer had been really good friends, and even though Connor only worked with the really disobedient Box Boys, 645898’s trainer talked to him all the time. Oh, fuck. So this hot piece of ass wanted to be a teacher? A writing teacher?

I know right? We’re going to take a fucking honors student and put him in some rich asshole's bed. I must have made the Director real happy somewhere back there, you don’t get a job like this every week.

Jesus, Everly, I’d kill to get to fuck up a nerd like this.

Stop ‘bending’ the rules with the merchandise and you might get to.

Like you're one to talk.

Owen walks away and Kauri listens to his footsteps heading down the hall, fingers tightening into the fabric of his pants. Step, step, step, step - Owen’s heavy footfalls, part of the soundtrack to his life.

The bedroom door closes, and Kauri knows Owen’s conversations with his mother last for an hour most of the time. An hour for Owen to start sobering up, to lose interest in the words on the screen. An hour of safety. He lets out a quick breath, relaxing his shoulders, the way they end yoga in the videos he watched on Owen’s TV. First relax your neck, then your shoulders, arms, wrists, hands… his fingers loosen, splaying over his thighs.

The laptop screen is still up.

Owen always talks to his mom for at least an hour.

Do I have a mom, somewhere? I know I have a Keira, the other one, the real one. I know I had her. Maybe… maybe her owner lets her read, too.

Maybe the owner watches the Host, like mine does, and lets her read.

It's a long shot, but…

Kauri swallows hard, glancing back over his shoulder at the bedroom door, and then he scoots a little closer to the computer.

And then a little closer, still.

The headache starts up, a sudden burst in heart rate alongside it, and Kauri bites his lower lip, craning his neck to try and look at the words. He’s not dumb, he just has nothing to do and nothing to think about. He used to be able to read, reading and writing used to be his life. They made him dumb, just like they took everything else away from him, just like they took Keira.

But Kauri isn't the only pet who doesn't want to be one.

And Colton gets to read.

Which means that they didn’t take the skill away, they just made Kauri afraid of it. He's not stupid, they just locked the things he had learned up behind the pain.

But who he is hasn't changed.

He scoots closer, and closer, and closer, until he can read the comments, the black text on the white screen, despite the ache behind his eyes.

It was open to Kauri is too good for Owen anyway, lol… and for this sinful earth.

Kauri reads each and every word like a gift, breathing hard. A smile starts to find its way onto his face, just a little one.

Someone thought he deserved better than Owen Grant's bed.

Kauri heartrate accelerate, Kauri beeps next to him. Marked change in physical condition.

“Ssssshhh, it’s okay, Keira, it’s okay. Um, uh, don’t tell him I was reading, okay? Please? Don’t tell him anything.”

Owen Grant, owner. Overrides. Keira’s robotic little voice is quiet. Keira answer Owen Grant, if queried.

“I know, I know, but… can’t you just not tell him? Um, uh…" What has he heard Owen saying to flip the override switch… "Um... override code sixteen four ball reindeer seven two. Don't tell Mr. Owen anything, okay?"

There’s a pause. Owen Grant, owner. Keira beeps again, a little more insistently this time.

Kauri looks down at her, eyebrows furrowing together. If she tells Owen he was reading, he’ll go into the box again, into the sensory deprivation hood. He’ll be alone, with no sounds and no smells and no sights and nothing.

He hesitates, considering closing the screen and going back to sitting and staring, living with a head full of rocks just like the trainer said. Then, he slowly turns back and starts reading again.

“I’m going to trust you, Keira,” Kauri whispers. “I’m going to trust you to help me and not tell him anything.” Keira doesn’t speak or beep again, only starts her cleaning routine all at once, abruptly, like she’s mad at him and trying not to show it. Even though Owen says Roombas don’t have emotions, can’t have feelings like that.

Kauri knows she can - he knows it. He knows that Keira likes him, as much as a robot can like a person, that she seeks him out to sit in his lap on the balcony and knows when he’s sad, the days he spends when Owen is at meetings doing his yoga and positions until his muscles are trembling, just to get rid of the emptiness inside his head.

I hope Colton and Kauri run away together, the next comment reads, and Kauri blushes, biting his bottom lip nervously. The words slip and slide around the page but he chases them down, ignores the growing pain inside his head. He’s had worse headaches than this, before, when he tried to do things he’s not supposed to do.

“That would be nice,” Kauri whispers. “I don’t know where we’d go, though…”

Owen yells something through the phone at his mother and Kauri jumps, looking down the hall with a panic, but then his voice drops back to normal. He doesn’t come out, and Kauri turns back to the laptop, scooting closer and closer and closer.

Some part of Kauri whispers not to read the comments, never read the comments, stop violating his protocols, but when he keeps looking, squinting against his pounding headache, he realizes that while the comments were making Owen angry, they’re not mean comments at all.

I totally get why Colton looks so mad! I’d be mad too if I didn’t get to keep Kauri at the end! Kauri is such a cutie. I wish I had money… I would’ve treated him better, anyway. I bet Colton wishes he was rich enough to just buy a Kauri for himself!

That’s ridiculous, pets can’t own other pets. If he had that much money he’d just buy his freedom or something, right?

Yeah, but then buy Kauri after. Or at least someone who looks like him.

The Host enjoyed this all way too much, don’t you think? I mean, it seemed like they were really enjoying being so mean to poor Colton! And I don’t think they even understood what he was mad about at the end.

Yeah, I love the Host, but this one seemed kind of… cruel. Although I guess they say the pets don’t even know to care about what they are, it’s part of the training or something.

Jesus, what their parents must think about them signing up for this!

Yeah, I wondered about that with the last video, with the two Box Boys in it. What do you think Kauri’s parents think happened with their son? Do you think he told them before he signed up? I mean, say your son signs up to be some brainless sugar baby. What do you tell their siblings, you know?

Did you just literally ask us to please think of the children

What about that Colton? What must his family think, signing up for the program just to be a famous Youtuber's pet?

I mean, I'd be thrilled. Colton gets a nice bed, all his meals taken care of, and all he has to do is play along reading fucking fanfiction? That sounds like my ideal life.

I used to think people were overreacting, you know all the fucking snowflakes these days freaking out about every single thing. But… this seems really weird, right? I can’t believe this is reality now.

I KNOW WHO COLTON IS

Do you think anyone’s shown Vincent Shield all this shit about the Cory kid?

Kauri wonders, too, after having to answer to the name - after seeing the Host’s genuine surprise at his face, after hearing Owen lie and say it was random when he’d told Kauri over and over that he was a custom order that had to look a specific way. Is the person he’s meant to replace for Owen out there looking at his face, knowing who he is?

Click on my profile to win a FREE box boy AND 1000 subscribers!!!

Honestly kind of disappointed there wasn’t anything about the YOU KNOW WHAT positions in this fanfiction so we could see Colton make that funny face again! Anyone got a link to a good smutty one?

Oh, I know I saw one where Colton gets really dark and mean and the Cory boy super likes it, l’ll go find the link and message it to you.

Oh fuck yes, give me all the good smut

Oh, I saw one where they’re in love, it was really super cute, let me get that one too

Real disappointed Youtube won’t let the Host read the really good stuff. I’ve watched that competition video like six times on repeat, if you get my drift. Kauri’s like, super sexy.

Kauri’s eyes widen at that one, the red back in his face, an uncomfortable heat.

I’ll see myself out, I swear, but… those soft eyes? That lip all stuck out when he gets scared?

Kauri catches himself still biting on his lip and stops, pressing them together into a thin line, swallowing hard.

You just want to kiss his tears away and fuck him slow and glorious. Make him the happiest man in the world.

Hell yes, I’d fuck him. Pet or not, you think the Host and Colton didn't want some of that action, too? I'd bet the Host's Lamborghini that they did.

Do Lamborghinis even have spacious enough seats for that?

I'll bet the Host knows the answer to that question.

Ha, by now Colton probably does, too. Think he closes his eyes and thinks about Cory?

Kauri makes a face, but he reads the comment again, lingering a little over the idea that people other than Owen (one person) might think of him that way, that maybe someone else thinks of him while he is busy thinking of them.

He reads the comments again… and then one more time.

The whole time he can hear Owen’s voice muffled back in his bedroom, and he keeps one ear out for it while reading what people say about him.

Anyone else concerned about Kauri??? Someone needs to help that poor boy. Colton seems like he can handle himself but Kauri was so fragile! He looked like he’d shatter if he got one more shock from those barbaric shock collars.

It’s just a discipline tool, it’s not a big deal. It doesn’t even leave a mark.

You can torture someone without leaving any marks, you jackass!

What do you guys think would happen if their families saw these videos? Like, what if Colton’s got a sister or something who sees him being used as a prop in the Host’s videos? Or what if Kauri has parents out there, and they see him do that, that thing he did in the last video?

What, spread his legs? He probably does that every night. He doesn't care. Romantic pets know what they're for.

Kauri swallows, hard, as much because it's true as that he doesn't really want to be for that. His hands start to shake, and he takes in a deep breath, and then another. Then he slowly raises them, lays them over the keys on the keyboard. His heart beats hard in his throat, making him breathe in gasps, terrified little nothing-sounds coming helplessly from his lips.

He hits the REPLY button, gives himself a temporary username - it all comes back easily to him, he used to use computers all the time, and his body remembers how to do it even if his brain isn’t supposed to any longer.

He finds a comment he wants to answer.

Kauri would look so pretty with long hair...

His head hurts worse and worse and worse, and he can barely keep his fingers moving, eyes squinted down to slits until he can’t read the blurry black text he’s typing at all.

Tehfogcmesin0414: kauri has a sistrr with long hair her naem is keira help her cheep cheep littl brds keera I miss you I'm sorry I didn lisen to you you were right

There’s a crack of white light inside his head followed a half-second later by an explosion of pain but Kauri grinds his teeth together as hard as he can, holds onto consciousness with every ounce of strength he has left, and keeps looking.

All he can hear now is the pounding of his own blood behind his face, in his neck, down to his wrists. The rushing in his ears overtakes every other sound.

If they can find Keira, she can tell them who he is. She might be hurt but maybe not, maybe she's out there somewhere and he remembers her, she is his twin, she won't stop looking, he knows it.

Someone will read it and see it and show Keira. Someone will.

Keira will see it and she will know he’s here and he doesn’t want to be, she’ll know, she’ll tell them his name is-

Not. Erased.

Kauri gasps at the knowledge comes back to him, all at once, the words like big black block letters against the white trying to take over his mind. He knows his real name. He knows who he is. He knows where he came from, and what happened when they put him and Keira in the van.

He remembers the prick of the needle and he remembers Karen Renford’s face the first time he ever saw her.

You have agreed to participate in a very special program, 645898.

Stop calling me a fucking number! I have a, a name! Where's my sister?!

That is not important. What matters is that you are going to serve a very special purpose soon. Haven't you always wanted a purpose?

Take me back to my sister! Please, you've got the wrong people, we're just-... we're just college kids, we're not even from here!

Oh, 645898. Do you genuinely not understand that your market value rises with that fact? We need an asset in place to utilize the leverage when Mr. Grant's browsing becomes buying.

I'm not anyone's fucking pet, you bitch!

You will be. It is time for you to forget.

But he remembers.

He remembers, he remembers, he remembers.

The pounding pain inside his skull tells him he’s not going to remember for very long. Memories slide and slip through and around his thoughts, disappearing and reappearing and sinking down again.

He doesn’t get to know his own name, no Box Boy gets to know their own name, but… but maybe they can remember someone else’s. The Facility won’t know to tell someone else not to know his name…

There's just one person he can think of.

He scrolls back up to the top, where the Host has a link to send a message. Colton reads a lot of the messages, now. They said so in a video, that Colton reads and answers and sometimes the Host doesn't even look for days. Which means Colton will read this message.

He has to.

He’s the only person in the world Kauri might be able to trust.

Owen is

SAFE

not safe

I CAN TRUST

can’t trust

Owen

Colton is a

PET

a person

who IS SERVING A PURPOSE

needs help too

I can FOLLOW PROTOCOLS

remember

FORGET

remember who I am

SERVE

remember

Kauri swallows hard, half-blind, the white encroaching from every corner of his mind to overtake it. His heart won’t stop pounding, and he can hear Keira beeping high-pitched and loud, but only barely. It’s a soft noise, it can’t be louder than the noise inside his head.

Kauri reassurance require

"No."

Kauri ceases action causing physical distress?

"Not until I tell him."

Keira request Kauri ceases action-

"No! We can help each other! I know we can, I just, he just has to remember this, they won't know to make him forget a name that doesn't mean anything to him!"

Except it's everything to Kauri.

Kauri clicks [GOT A QUESTION? I GOT ANSWERS!] and types out a message, as fast as he can, a rush of keyboard clicking.

plees have colton red this. hard for Me to tYpe rite Now And My fingErs hurt If you See this Lissen, it's Important some Arent signups soMe get taken didn sign up its a lie their lying to us

He sends it, opens up a second message, fingers numb, heart racing, eyes a blur of pounding, throbbing ache.

Colton remmbr for me my naem is

ERASED

The pain is gone and the world is white and white and dark and then the world is nothing at all.

Kauri wakes up on his side on the floor next to the coffee table, blinking hard, his headache gone like it had never been there, tangled in the blanket. “Oh, what did I-”

His eyes light on bare feet, the bottom of Owen's pants, and then they travel up and up and up.

Owen is leaning over him, and the green eyes are like hard chips of stone, focused right on him. He reaches down and grabs Kauri, digging fingers into the back of his neck as jerking him halfway upright with a surprised cry, before slamming him back down, cracking his forehead on the corner of the coffee table.

Flash of light and pain, tearing thin skin, and the sudden sting of red blood dripping onto cream colored carpet. "Ah, hnnnh, Mr., Mr. Owen, I don't, I don't uh-understand-"

“You little piece of shit,” Owen hisses, a half-whisper of rage, slamming Kauri down again, a burst of terrible light, the pain that comes just after. The world spins, and when Owen lets go Kauri stays on his hands and knees, breathing in pants along with the rhythm of the pain pulsing with his blood.

There’s an arc of blood on the carpet.

Kauri thinks with wild irrationality, The cleaning lady will hate that I made that happen, too.

“What the fuck did you do?”

He points, and Kauri follows his gesture with dazed eyes, looking over to the laptop to see the words MESSAGE SENT on the screen.

It sent.

He doesn't know his name anymore, but he knows he knew it, and he sent it to Colton, and someone out there will know who he was, will know that he didn’t sign, that it wasn’t his idea.

Someone who can read.

Someone who can write it down.

He feels thrilled, and terrified, and guilty.

But mostly terrified.

Owen’s hand snaps out to grab him by one arm and pull him to his feet, rough and bruising, and Kauri cries out when Owen throws him by his arm across the room, still dizzy from hitting his head.

“What. The fuck. Did you. Do?!”

Kauri stumbles, trips and falls, slams hard into the bookshelf, DVD and Blu-Ray cases raining down on him, one of Owen’s statues from a trip to Africa smacking hard into the middle of his back and he whimpers at the sudden flare of pain.

I’m not trained for pain

Owen stalks over to him, grabs him, throws him again, and this time Kauri bangs his shoulder into the corner of the entertainment center, tries to twist away from the next grip but he can't move fast enough.

Shoved hard into a wall with his head cracking back into it, the world is a sudden flash and then Owen's hands are on his shoulders gripping tight, too tight. His fingers hurt they press so hard into skin. Kauri stares, blood trickling from a wide, shallow cut across his forehead.

He can feel the warmth of it turning cold as he stares up at Owen’s furious face.

“I d-didn’t do anything! I didn’t! I just, I just, I remembered that I didn’t… I didn’t sign up. It wasn’t my choice, I didn’t choose this! You said, you said they showed you my contract but I didn’t sign it! I didn’t sign it. You have to, you know the ethics people… I think I’m from Illinois, I think, I think my sister and I were stolen!"

Owen starts to laugh. It’s a drunken, unkind, slurred bleary pissed-off sound.

“You stupid little whore." Owen tightens the hands on his shoulders until Kauri whines in his throat at the ache. When he tries to raise a hand - just to wipe away blood - Owen jerks him forward and then slams him back again, head slamming back into the wall with another burst of awful white and black sparks, and Kauri whimpers, trying desperately to curl in on himself. "Jesus, they really went the full nine yards making you dumb. Did you really think I didn’t know exactly where you came from? Of course I know about that. And your stupid sister. You’re not supposed to remember any of it. What did you send the Host?”

Kauri licks his lips, eyes wide. “You already knew? But, but you said-”

“I lied. I know exactly where you fucking came from. You think I give a fuck about how they got you back to me, Vince?” Owen snorts, disgusted with him, and Kauri has loved him so much and knows with real certainty that what Owen feels for him is not anything close to love at all. “What did you send them? Was it that pet you were trying to talk to? You like him so fucking much, huh? Think he'll see your little message and come rescue you? He's gonna be your fucking prince charming, Kauri? You stupid fucking whore, no one wants you but me. No one ever will. I wanted you dumb as shit, but this is something else. What did you send?”

“Nothing,” Kauri whispers. “I couldn’t see well enough to type, it was nonsense, I-”

“Fuck that. I’ll just wait until they respond, I know they respond to all their messages. I’ll figure out which one is you, but no one’s going to believe you… and you won’t get to see what anyone has to say.”

“I won't?” Kauri whispers, and when Owen leans in to kiss him - bruising, a crush of lips and teeth and tongue that isn't affection but ownership - there’s nowhere for him to go, nowhere for him to hide. He tries to tilt his chin up, to answer it, but it isn’t the kind of kiss you can answer, only the kind you have to endure until it’s done.

The smell of his cologne surrounds Kauri, cedar-y and woodsy, and usually Kauri smells it as something soothing and sexy, but in this moment it only makes his heart beat harder in fear, the terror of how badly he has messed this up, how much he will hurt in the morning.

“You know you’re not allowed to read and write, Kauri,” Owen says with deceptive gentleness, letting go of his shoulder to run fingers through his hair, twisting in the black curls until it hurts, until Kauri winces against the pain outside and in. “I’m going to have to have them fix that for me. I’m going to have to fix it.”

Owen's mouth drops to his neck, a press of warm tongue and lips, and Kauri shivers at how good it feels even as he quavers in fear of what might come next, even as the rest of him aches.

“Oh, Kauri,” Owen breathes into his neck, real regret in his voice. “You know better. I’ll make sure you never read anything ever again. Being able to send messages is the first step to leaving me, Kauri. I couldn’t take it if you did that, just like him. I would die if you left me. You wouldn’t ever leave me, would you? Would you, Kauri?”

Owen raises his head to look him in the eyes. He looks calm. Serene.

Kauri is trapped, he thinks, with a monster.

“N-No, Owen,” Kauri says softly, shaking his head. “I love you, I wouldn’t… You, you said-”

“You call me Mr. Owen.” “Mr. Owen,” Kauri whispers. “I’m sorry.”

“I said I’d never, ever let you leave, Vince. Not again.”

Kauri swallows, hard, as the hand that was so gentle in his hair slowly slides down to close around his throat. “I’m, I’m not Vince.”

"Ssshhhhh, shut up. You left once. I knocked out your teeth, I kept you locked up for days and I fucked you up I loved you so much but you still left me." Owen's thumb drifts back and forth across his Adam's apple, considering, and there is a bright madness in his eyes that Kauri has only seen once before. “You left me once. I won’t let you leave again.”

This is how he will hurt me.

Owen’s grip begins to tighten, and Kauri breathes in deeply as fast as he can, hoping he can hold his breath. Breaths turn to gasps, spots dancing in his vision, trying to breathe through a straw.

HELP KAURI. Keira's voice is high-pitched, loud, insistent.

"No," Owen whispers, then the volume of his voice raises louder and louder. "Vince, you stupid little slut, you don't get to leave me. Never again. Never again. How dare you, you piece of shit, you were meant for me, we were meant for each other!”

He’s screaming by the end of it, spit in Kauri’s face, making him flinch back in terror, his eyes wide, certain that this is it, this is how he dies. Owners aren’t allowed to kill pets but no one’s going to stop him and it wouldn’t matter if someone found out, Kauri would still be dead.

He's going to kill me and it's not even me he's killing.

Kauri scrabbles at Owen's hands with his own in a sudden panicked desperate attempt to survive, fingernails digging desperately into skin and Keira is screaming HELP KAURI HELP KAURI HELP KAURI at their feet until Owen kicks her viciously away.

Keira slams into the corner of the coffee table's leg, and Kauri hears a horrible crack before her machinery goes silent. He tries to scream but all that comes out is a whistle of what little air he has left.

"Keira! N-no, pl-please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-" Kauri chokes out the words, a hissing airy whimper, but Owen tightens his grip and cuts even more air off until his voice is gone, lost in the desperate fight to breathe and the incredible suffocating pain.

"I'll make sure you never fucking leave," Owen murmurs, his voice gentle and loving. "You'll never, ever walk away from me. I'll figure out what you told the Host and I'll make sure it's fucking wiped from your memory. If it isn't… doesn't matter. You're not leaving me. I'll kill you first."

His hands around Kauri’s throat feel like metal, worse than the choke-chain in training. Kauri’s hands come up to close over the wrists, feeling Owen’s tendons standing out in his forearms, staring with wide, pleading eyes, begging without words for Owen to please, please let him breathe.

I'm sorry, Keira, I'm so fucking sorry I didn't listen to you…

I hope someone remembers my name.

The world around Kauri sparks once more and then fades to black. The last thing Kauri hears is Owen's heavy breathing and his own final gasp.

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