#accepting or denying it for whatever reason. but most of all I love him just disappearing forever not as even a passive influence as a | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i4oba · 2 months

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nct 127 as… / fanfiction aus!? 🏡…

[take the quiz here to see which one you get!]

✰ TAEYONG — street racer!au

you hated that taeyong’s hobby has never changed: it was rather infuriating how he couldn’t have stopped with those stupid street races which he couldn’t even miss once; you had known lee taeyong ever since from elementary school, and you knew all too well how his biggest dream was to take part in formula 1, but a poor boy, living on the countryside can only dream of achieving such heights, he would never be able to reach that. you don’t even know how the two of you got to befriend each other, it might have been that chemistry project where you two were assigned to work together in that old fashioned “the breakfast club” way on saturdays, as you couldn’t properly behave. you two slowly became good friends, and then… something you weren’t able to describe, it was way too confusing, and growing up you two realised that the period of time when you were together, as a couple, was more than just toxic, pretty much unhealthy. you left him for good finally, leaving behind this mess of a relationship when you got accepted to the university of your dreams, after taking one year off of studies because of whatever reason you foolishly came up with. since taeyong’s name was pretty well known by then in the world of street racing, you knew fully well that he wouldn’t just quit for school which he despised anyways. after breaking up, you left everything unsolved between the two of you, leaving behind the memories as well, trying to make it easier for the both of you, after all. you weren’t mean. but that’s the first word in taeyong’s mind when he spotted you standing there at the track: it seemed as if your face became skinnier, your eyes were teary, hair somewhat shorter than what he was used to. you had changed, he decided, when you took a step closer to his car, which he couldn’t bring himself to change up. but he hadn’t changed in your eyes: he was still that little boy filled with enthusiasm, absolutely crazy for race cars, the taste of speed and you. especially you. “please, be careful” you whispered gently, as he drove away way too fast, as soon as the flag fell down. and then he disappeared in the night, loud and swift.

✰ TAEIL — teacher!au

when you applied for a job at the elementary school of the new town you’d moved to, you made a resolution in mind, learning from previous mistakes: you won’t be so forgiving with your students, you won’t let the parents tell you how to do your job and most importantly, you will NOT fall in love with someone at work ever again (it seemed fatal by then, since you had to leave your previous job because of that). you didn’t have that much of experience as a teacher, your diploma was pretty fresh, gathering dust on the drawer, but you would never let that make you feel less: you were enthusiastic, very thoughtful, as you brought cupcakes for your class, for example! i mean, on the previous night, while decorating the cupcakes with that pinkish icing, you wouldn’t have thought this would be the first step of the chain reaction – you fucked up a few times before when it was time for the first impressions, and let’s be real, that’s exactly what happened on your first day too: you clumsily dropped the whole tray of sweet treats in the entrance of the teacher’s lounge, half of the cupcakes actually ending up on one of your colleagues, who you had tons of gossips going around in the hallways following shortly. and you couldn’t even deny the obvious attraction you felt towards moon taeil, who you fell in love with on the first sight. he was a biology teacher which… well, made place for a few inappropriate biological jokes (well, yeah, sex-ed) coming from the sixth graders, or! the silly theories coming from the youngest of students, telling their parents that you are for sure pregnant (which would’ve made you furious if it wasn’t for their undeniable cuteness).

✰ JOHNNY — high school reunion!au

the first high school reunion of yours was arranged by the student who used to be the council president of your class, who even sent out handmade invitations to everyone, hoping that most of the class would go, not holding grudges against each other anymore, no matter how the bond between everyone of you was pretty much terrible. you were not that big of a persona amongst your peers, you were rather quiet, much like an outcast during your high school years, sometimes addressed with the ominous word “weird”, so you weren’t even planning on going, since you knew very well: no one would bother to notice you being there, or your absence either. it was in the last possible moment when your mother persuaded you finally, after a very big fight between the two of you, offering a ride as well, because (whether it’s a shame or not) you failed your traffic exam once again. focusing on this mainly, you were afraid you would come off as a total loser, as you always fail no matter what. but, after not much of thinking, you decided that you can simply lie, since you live very far away from this dusty little town anyways, no one could actually fact check what’s actually true from what you tell. even on the ride to your old school, you were thinking of false fun facts you could say when someone asks something, telling yourself that it’s not that big of a deal, not that big of a lie – as soon as you stepped into the school itself, though, the damn nostalgia reminded you how much of a loser you had always been. plus, the sight of johnny seo made the situation even worse. your throat felt dry, palm sweaty as your courage left your body slowly, evaporating suddenly, as a fully random girl from your class showed something on his phone to you, laughing loudly in your ear, adding something witty too; you were in love with johnny for a long time, and everyone who got to find this out sooner or later, decided to turn it against you as soon as they got the chance, like those mean, little girls in elementary. you never knew how johnny felt about you, since he never actually told you, or brought it up either, because he was simply understanding. well, in the dimly lit bathroom of the school, pressed against the cold tiles, you knew exactly what he might have felt, kissing you messily, like someone who had been starving. you two were cowards to tell the truth to each other, afraid of making steps forward.

✰ YUTA — rockstar!au

it was pretty much a cliché to hear the “i’m with the band” sentence over and over again, but when you started using it… no one could ever stop you. you were proud that your boyfriend reached his goals and his biggest dream, and every time you saw the ever growing audience at their concerts, a certain, really warm feeling appeared in your chest, slowly filling the whole of your body, which, let’s be real, got to your head a few times. the band had been a thing ever since you were high schoolers, really active ever since the first practice in that musty basement, not too intense back then, but really consistent, persistence paying off in the end, resulting in concerts, albums, and whatnot, including interviews – both of your worlds turned upside down, and nakamoto yuta, as the front man of the group became a star, bringing you with himself everywhere they had to go, like a lucky charm. he felt at ease whenever he could spot you in the crowd, maybe in the first row, dancing and singing along to their songs, or at times when you gave an intense, adrenaline driven kiss on his lips before their performances, rewarding him with something more after… somehow it all worked out, since you two were insanely, madly in love with each other. but how long is this going to be the norm? you’re afraid of guessing.

✰ DOYOUNG — royalty!au

it felt a little chaotic as you spent your time in the spacious library of the palace, dressed in your newly made red velvet dress and a crimson coloured mask on your face, far from the ball room, and even further from the musicians, the aristocrats and young men, ready to ask for your hand in marriage. you were only able to stay for one dance, not having the patience to talk to complete strangers, to dance with heirs you didn’t even know of, and to let them get the best of you, waiting for the right time to use you for their own good. no, you’re not suitable for such things, even if it sounded a little selfish at that moment. it bothered you anyway, that you had to look for The One you could marry – you didn’t want to decide during one night only, whether they could enjoy your company for the rest of their lives, or not. to decide who’s the richer man, you could envision yourself with. you sneaked out in a second, when no one actually paid attention to you anymore. you only found the library purely out of accident, but it was such a pleasant accident since you felt like you were home there. it was quiet, the room filled with the scent of old books, and you were left alone with your own feelings and wandering thoughts. or so you thought at first, until someone stormed inside the library, following you shortly (you wanted to guess how much time you spent there, completely lost in the world of books but you lost your sense of time soon after entering). you didn’t even pay attention to the new guest, you simply continued with the intriguing, dusty book in your hands. the newcomer, however, decided to take a seat right next to you, with his own novel he got from one of the closer shelves. he didn’t say a word, but you could feel the smirk playing on his face, angrily closing your book, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. he didn’t have a mask on, which made you recoil a little, your breath hitching at the sight of such handsome young man, turning the pages of his poem anthology with a smile on his face. his gaze met yours when he looked up, winking at you mischievously. and that funny, unfamiliar feeling you felt at that moment, couldn’t have been described in any of those books laying around, although there was at least a thousand of them. only the boy next to you would be able to do so: kim doyoung, the prince of the kingdom, the heir of the throne.

✰ JAEHYUN — forbidden love!au

you hated hearing the word “forbidden”, although you had heard it several times growing up. you’re not a monarch, you bear no wealth and you basically have nothing else either, but the always so kind and warmhearted heir, jaehyun, couldn’t stop spending his precious time with you, since he enjoyed your company to the extent that you were ashamed of it. you had been selling flowers on the street ever since you were a little girl, mind filled with dreams and false hope. jaehyun always made you feel important, never getting in your way of achieving what you’d always been dreaming of. he was always following your steps, much like the shadow of you, not wanting to leave you any time soon. you could’ve thought it was because of the close friendship between the two of you, and you had always been a little oblivious of recognizing such hidden signs. you let him hug you, smile the brightest whenever he looks at you, and you let him waste your time which you were keen on sacrificing for him, not once hesitating whether what you’re doing is right or not. maybe it was a waste of time to spend your time at the flower field together, smelling the sweet scent of flowers, gazing at the sky endlessly. the stupid feelings were so blind and deaf, they couldn’t hear the obvious alarms of “forbidden” being shouted time to time – when he kissed you for the first time, you didn’t feel guilty. you deserved that. guilt only arrived when it was too late already.

✰ JUNGWOO — fake dating!au

you were actually serious about that contract and the paperwork, as an all too practical person you had always been, but jungwoo shook his head, declining your offer every time, saying how stupid it actually was… since you two are friends, right, and this is a one time only thing. it’s just one night, where you can surprise your family, to let them know that you’re not suffering from relationship problems or anything. you got bored of them always bringing it up, and jungwoo had enough of hearing you complaining about it, so he came up with this whole “fake dating” idea. you weren’t too optimistic, especially since your whole family knew about him, which could make you both seem a little suspicious. he calmed you down, though, telling you that you’re just paranoid, and you can say, after a good two or three months, that you two broke up through tears. little did jungwoo know, that you were afraid of a different thing… which involves the feeling of love you had been feeling towards him for years. you didn’t want to let him know about this silly crush you had on him, but you clearly knew that this night will change everything, as you two will have to act like a real couple for the whole night, and you weren’t sure whether you would be able to leave it all behind, once you get used to it. selfish or not, you were afraid that after a night where you two have to hold each other’s hand, kiss each other here and there (in the name of pure acting), you won’t be able to resist the confession. well, it’s such a rookie mistake to forget about the reason why jungwoo offered this whole thing, right?

✰ MARK — childhood friends to lovers!au

ever since you've basically known your name, mark has been the boy next door. there was the cheeky, red letters of "lee" painted on the mailbox, the windows were adorned with the same coloured curtains, and the same doormat has been sitting in front of their door for ages. you have loved mark ever since you two have met. there wasn't a day where you wouldn't think of him, and there hasn't been a day when you haven't loved him. it was like a vicious circle which you couldn't get out of, because those stupid feelings would destroy the oh so precious friendship of yours, and you cannot let that happen, right? i mean, that's what you've thought for far too long, since this friendship meant more to you, than the fragile feeling of love – you didn't want it to get to the point where you would rather spit on each other, than talk it out. maybe that's why you pushed him away from yourself? maybe you just did that because you weren't too sure of your own peace of mind? no matter what, you knew the decision itself was wrong, only to realize it way too late. damaging the friendship and crying yourself to sleep was all your fault, after all, being way too proud and scared, stupid even; when you came back to the town where you two grew up, the least thing you wanted was to meet mark lee, mainly because you wouldn't have been able to look him in the eyes after all these happened. but you had to, so soon you even got a little surprised. it's been a while since the last time you have been home, your bedroom seemed way too unfamiliar at that point, just like the vhs tape placed directly in the middle of your bed. one which you haven't seen yet. it didn't have a title, the white label completely empty as you picked it up. you were a little bit cautious when placing it in the system, waiting for it to play whatever is on it, not having such large imagination to expect anything. it was a home video montage, full of videos of you and mark: playing together, getting ready for the first day of school, going to the movies, the way you two got engaged in middle school as a joke, and the omnious day of prom... you got teary eyed, with one thing on your mind - you have to go and save whatever's left now. maybe you're not too late.

✰ HAECHAN — rivals to lovers!au

lee donghyuck's name rushed through the hallways of your music academy just as quietly as a whisper, and you never knew why was it all like that ever since you've stepped foot into the school. you couldn't even hide the way too obvious rolls of your eyes every time you heard it. lee donghyuck was one of the biggest prodigies at the academy, no one could even be considered as a rival for him, this is mainly why he was such a big living legend amongst the students - you couldn't even hide how annoyed this made you, especially because he made sure you knew this ever since you two were little. music played a huge part in both of your lives, and somehow, you two always seemed to be at each other's throat, the first place at being the best always changing between the two of you. you could never get rid of each other either; your dad, always being so positive, once said, on your way to the academy sometime between sophomore and junior year, that the only reason behind this is that you two are equally good at what you're doing. you were pretty much skeptic for the longest of time, and felt as if you were destined to be the forever second next to him. you've had enough of always bumping into walls, since hyuck was the one who could stand at the first place ever so proudly. in kindergarten, in middle school, and even in high school, every. god damn. time. and that infuriating smile was plastered all upon his face even when you two were asked to not perform alone on the annual charity gala of your academy - you two had to perform something phenomenal, putting the childish jarring aside, growing out of the silly phase of hating each other, which was all made up by you, and you only, pushing the poor boy away from you. the boy who had always been so obsessed with you, utterly and completely. he won this time again, isn't it right?

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lbxbx · 3 months

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Cockpit 9 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood, mentions of anxiety attacks, mentions of abuse, mentions of bribery.

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This entire weekend was incredible, yet still a huge weight sits on your shoulders when all of them blend in with Namjoon and seem to be liking him… a lot!

You spent so much time over thinking the fact if you and Namjoon didn’t actually end up together everything is going to end up being awkward for you two.

Jungkook has already planned a workout routine with the guy and they agreed to meet up a couple times a week, even when he used to work out with you, but you’re long forgotten. Yoongi wanted to take him out and play basketball, Taehyung wanted to see a cockpit in real life so he politely asked Namjoon to show him one.

You’re a little overwhelmed that you kind of regret the fact that you introduced them together, you wish time went by fast so you could go home.

Less than a week after, Hoseok is driving on his way back home from the court house, that day he had planned dinner with you and a movie night, not only because he genuinely misses you and wants to hang out with you; but he’s trying to keep you away from Namjoon a little, not that he’s against anything or whatever, he just wants you to take your time with the whole thing. So he planned a sleepover at his place, and it’s just you two.

You’ve always been close together and did these kinds of nights occasionally if neither of you had to work, so you wouldn’t mind at all, in fact you would love to.

Hoseok’s phone rings while he’s driving and he puts his phone on speaker when he answers. “Hello?”

“Mister Jung? Hi this is Mister Lee speaking, I’m one of your clients.” It seems to be an older man on the other side and Hoseok gets a little suspicious, he has way too many clients and most of them share their first names, so he apologizes. “I’m sorry, but I’m currently driving, can you make it quick please?”

“Absolutely, I wanted to talk to you regarding my daughter’s hearing on September 14th, you’re her husband’s lawyer aren’t you?”

He feels the need to park the car on the side of the road as he grabs his phone and checks his schedule, Namjoon’s hearing is scheduled that day along with two other sessions. “What’s the spouse’s name?” He asks.

“Kim Namjoon, I thought that we could make a deal with you.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes.

A little cheap shot from her family, but most of the other parties when they find out that Jung Hoseok is against their own lawyer, they try their last shot which is bribery. The whole field of law is intoxicated with bribery and even though it is in fact a federal crime, it still occurs frequently.

And of course, Hoseok is filthy rich, because really, he can’t deny that if he got a good offer, he would totally accept the bribe and not try hard defending his own client, but of course he wouldn’t accept the bribe if they offer a fake or invalid evidence to hold against his own client.

But considering Namjoon actually matters to you and you’re his close friend, Hoseok decides to actually listen and figure out what they have in hand. “Sure go ahead.”

“3 and a half million won if you make him change his mind and cancel the divorce.”

Of course her father doesn’t even own the 3 and a half million won. Even if Hoseok actually got Namjoon to change his mind, her family would take the Kim’s money to pay Hoseok.

Hoseok laughs. “Do you have any valid reason from him to change his mind about the divorce?”

“We have witnesses, he was seen in public with someone else, and we have a witness of abuse.”

Hoseok knew that you being around Namjoon all the time will complicate things, he rubs his forehead and nods. “We need an actual concrete evidence, do you have any? Video tapes, pictures, clothing item?”

The older man laughs nervously. “We don’t have concrete evidence sir, aren’t witnesses just enough?”

“Of course not, for all we know, your witnesses can easily lie.” Hoseok’s answer is more than enough for the man to just sigh, “I will get the concrete evidence, can we visit you in your office when we’re ready?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thank you Mister Jung, we’re sorry for keeping you busy.” The older man apologizes before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Of course Hoseok doesn’t need the evidence to begin with, even if Namjoon was actually guilty, he was going to defend him just because he knows that the man matters to you.

But he feels the need to tell you, that the man may be accused of actual abuse. And he needs to talk to Namjoon and see if he ever touched the woman in an inappropriate way.

He finally gets home to take a shower and get dressed, as he waits for you to show up, you two were going to bake pizza from scratch and he had everything prepared for you two to cook together.

He grabs out Namjoon’s file to put on the coffee table before you finally arrive there and ring the doorbell.

You were working that day on the morning shift, Namjoon wanted you to come over to his place since his soon to be ex partner is in Ilsan with her parents, but you told him that you had plans with Hoseok and of course he gave you your space and wished you a pleasant time.

You got back from work and dressed into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie and you matched it with a pair of socks and a slipper, and you drove to Hoseok’s place with a six pack of beer.

“There you are.” He opens the door and pulls you into a hug, you hug him back and kiss him on the cheek, “What’s up?” Before walking towards his kitchen to put down the beer, he opens the fridge to shove the drinks inside and grabs you out a bottle of water. “I have some tea to spill.”

“You do? I love a little gossip.” You grab the bottle and untwist the cap. “Who’s sleeping with who? Is Jungkook sleeping with someone’s girl?”

He laughs and scratches his nose. “I’m not surprised you think that, but nope, it’s actually regarding you.”

You’re a little taken back when he speaks, he even crosses his arms and looks at you in the eyes, one eyebrow cocked up.

“Should I be worried?” Your heart drops when he takes a couple seconds to answer you, “Nope, nothing too serious, let’s go sit.”

He points his head towards the living room, both of you walking there.

There is not a single scenario that didn’t go through your head, your anxiety is increasing by the second and he’s taking his time to talk which drives you mad.

You cross your legs under your butt and sit back onto the couch. “What is it?”

He grabs the papers and hands them to you, it takes you a second to recognize that it’s Namjoon’s divorce papers, clipped onto a thick file that was hand written by his previous attorney, consisting of Namjoon’s testimony.

“What’s the matter?” You worriedly ask and he eyes you carefully before he speaks. “His father in law found my number somehow and called today to put an offer, of course Namjoon doesn’t know.”

“Hobi, I think I should stay out of this, it’s none of my business.” You put the file down and sigh, a little relieved that it’s nothing concerning you in person.

“No Y/N.” Your stomach drops when he uses your name clearly. “I think you have to know, they’re trying to find a concrete evidence of abuse, and they have a witness who claims that Namjoon was seen in public with someone. Look, I’m just worried if what they are claiming is true.” He whispers as if someone might listen.

You bite onto your nails anxiously, you know Namjoon’s side of the story but you don’t know hers’. And perhaps everything they’re claiming can actually turn out to be true.

But you shake that thought immediately away, you’ve known the man for more than two months now and you swear on your own life that he’s been nothing but good to you.

“Did you go out with him?” Hoseok’s deep voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you even flinch. “We went out together a couple weeks ago, but that’s it.” You shrug. “We mostly hung out in my place.”

“And did anyone recognize Namjoon or something?” He asks. “Someone might’ve spotted him.”

You’re totally unaware of what happened in the wine cellar that evening and it didn’t even cross your mind because you didn’t over think it in the first place. Plus you were a little tipsy.

You shake your head. “Not at all.”

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, “I’d really appreciate it if you brainstorm a little.” He puts his hand onto your leg for support before getting up. “I’m not going to dig further more into the topic of abuse unless they hand me the evidence.” He walks towards the kitchen.

“I think you should talk to them.”

And he stops to look at you behind his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“Make them trust you, maybe they’ll spell out the truth.” You simply suggest.

“Do you have a plan?

You simply shrug with a little pout forming onto your lips. “You know your job better than I do.”

He pauses for a second and scratches his temple. “Fine, I’m in, but can we please get to cooking? My brain won’t function when I’m hungry.”

You get up onto your feet and head to the kitchen with him.

The night is getting longer and the time is passing really slow since winter is about to come up early this year, you’ve always hated night shifts when the night got longer but now you don’t mind them. Namjoon has been keeping you entertained throughout the entire night, texting or even video calling when he’s in the hotel room outside Seoul.

“Hey, I got you some coffee.” Seokjin makes a surprise visit to the emergency room and puts the cup down in front of you, he’s looking tired and he could barely stand on his feet. “Thank you, you don’t seem okay,”

He leans against the wall and closes his eyes. “I’m not feeling well, I think I have a fever.”

You get up on your feet and grab his arm to lead him onto one of the beds and close the curtain. “Lay down.” He obeys and immediately shuts his eyes, you grab the nearest thermometer and aim it towards his head, and indeed he does have a fever. “What hurts?”

“Nothing too serious, I think it’s the flu because my tonsils hurt.” He barely speaks. “Can you write me a sick leave? And can the nurses give me something? I’m really tired.”

You laugh and ruffle his hair. “Oh so that’s what the coffee’s for.” And he flips you off because he’s too tired to bite back at you.

“Fine. Stay here.” You open the curtains and head out to the nurses to give them the order on what to give him before writing him a sick leave.

The emergency door slides open and an old man walks in with a woman behind him, both are walking so it seems that there is nothing too urgent to you. They take the bed right next to Seokjin’s and leave the curtain open, waiting for you to come over.

You take a sip of your coffee that you know is going to get cold by the time you’re done and make your way towards them with one of your nurses to introduce yourself. “Who’s the patient?”

“I am.” How can you forget her features? You’ve seen her once but you remember every detail on this woman. There’s a ring still on her left hand.

“Lay down please,” You put a pair of gloves on and walk near her before the man next to her stops you. “We would prefer if it was just you examining her.” He looks at you then looks at the nurse who’s about to turn around and leave before you grab her wrist. “She has to be here to assist me.”

“But we want some privacy.” He insists, you squint your eyes and tilt your head. “And you are..?”

“Her father.”

Makes sense, she looked a lot like him, you feel resentful towards them both that you couldn’t control your facial expressions. The nurse leaves as you give the woman in front of you a half assed examination.

“Breathe.” You order her as your stethoscope sits on her back, your other hand supporting her other shoulder.

Her sense of smell is heightened all the time, and the perfume on you smells so familiar, of course she can’t forget the night she first smelled it on Namjoon’s shirt, and what makes her a little suspicious is that she smelled his shirt on the same night that her second cousin claimed that he saw Namjoon with someone..

But of course this doesn’t prove anything since people tend to like similar perfumes, she looks at you and sinks in her thoughts. Quite good looking, but a doctor who probably doesn’t have the time to go out with someone.

“What brings you here today?” Your question snaps her out of her thoughts, she’s about to open her mouth to speak but her father grabs her by the shoulder and whispers. “We need your help.”

You stand in front of them in confusion before you ask. “How can I help?”

“My daughter is going through a divorce and the lawyer asked for a medical report to give to the court.” He nods and has the audacity to say. “And you women understand each other, we need your help with a medical report to prove that she’s been a victim of violence.”

Her parents are putting in all their effort to find their evidence, of course her second cousin wasn’t able to snap the picture earlier, but they’re using their twisted ways and trying to dig deep just to prove that Namjoon was there with someone.

They even asked the company that held the tour to send them the list of people who booked on that day but it was confidential and no one was allowed to have it, and Namjoon got lucky with that..

And of course they offered a few doctors that are related to them a bribe just to fake reports of abuse, or even fake reports that she’s pregnant so that the divorce can be delayed. Her father is working on a big project and he needs funding for it, the divorce cannot happen any time soon.

Someone suggested that they should head to hospitals in Seoul rather than Ilsan since her and her husband live there, and that she should visit an emergency doctor so that they could help her with her medical report.

You feel your body fuming with anger and you’re even more bitter now, you clear your throat and look up into his face to see that he’s dead serious. Other doctors would’ve probably done it, but of course you wouldn’t because it’s unfair to Namjoon and unfair to you and your job.

“Could you give me a minute please?” You force a fake smile and open the curtain to head back to the counter, a little overwhelmed.

The bed next to them is occupied by Seokjin who’s on his IV medication, and even when his ears were buzzing due to his fever, he could still hear the conversation happening next to him very easily since there’s only a curtain between them.

“Something’s suspicious.” She whispers and her father grits on his teeth before answering. “This is all your fault, we wouldn’t have gone through all this.”

“The night our cousin told us that he saw Namjoon with someone—“

Seokjin’s eyes almost fall out of their socket when he hears the mention of Namjoon.

“—He came back the next day smelling exactly like the doctor’s perfume.”

Fuck, Seokjin gets a head rush when he rises up from his seat too quickly to turn off the IV fluid and leave the bed. He makes sure that he’s seen when he stands next to you really close and wraps his arm around your waist awkwardly.

You flinch and look at him, a little terrified by his sudden touch. “Wh—“

“Put your hand around me and shut up.” He whispers. A frown sits on your face and you’re a little too angry to be doing this nonsense with him. He can see the debate happening in your head so he presses on his teeth and whispers again. “Just do as I say.”

And you put your hand around him with a clear cringe on your face, before he speaks a little loud. “I was looking for you honey, where have you been?”

You scrunch your nose and tilt your head. “Huh?”

“I miss you.” He’s loud enough for them to hear, he presses a kiss onto your cheek and tugs your hair behind your ear. “O-oh, you have patients?”

You’re still confused and you’re seriously starting to think that the man may be hallucinating from his fever, “Get back to your patient, call me when you’re done.” And he simply leaves the emergency room.

Meanwhile her father looks at her and she looks back at him before he whispers. “She’s clearly married, stop over thinking.”

You turn and get back towards them with your arms crossed, you’ve had your time to think, and it’s a little last minute, but it’s time to initiate some sort of plan.

So you fully decide on giving them the report but before that you give them some false information and they seem to believe it. “Of course I’ll help you, we’ve helped women before and we’re glad to help you.” You even fake a smile. “But we need to give you the report sealed in an envelope so that the court could accept it, it’s something with the law I guess.” You shrug. “And I’m going to sign it with my name right by the seal so that they know it hasn’t been opened before.”

Her father has a smile of victory on his face and looks at his daughter who’s a little occupied looking at your fingers to see if you’re actually wearing a ring or not, still not convinced with what she saw earlier. And luckily that day you were wearing your cheapest jewelry and you wore one of the rings on your left ring finger. Now she’s finally convinced.

“Please stay here, I’ll go write the report and have it ready for you.” You nod and get back to the counter to sit in front of the computer and start typing.

Her full name and age, her history and physical examination.

Before stating clearly, that there are no signs of abuse, no bruises, no signs of cuts or wounds, no fractures, her vital signs which indicate that she’s perfectly well, before signing your name and printing the paper and folding into an envelope and sealing it.

“There you go.” You gladly hand them the envelope, a little happy on the inside that you got to do something to prove Namjoon’s case. “Thank you so much.” Her father snatches the report from your hand, and he’s a split second away from opening it before you stop him. “Sir, if you opened that envelope you can’t give it to court and no one else can write you another one.”

“I have to read it.” He’s about to open it again but again you interrupt him, constant non true bullshit coming out your mouth. “Her name has been logged into our system with a copy of that report, if you open the envelope it wouldn’t be valid anymore and it may be used against you.”

And that’s what convinces him to stop, his daughter taking the report from him and putting it into her purse. “Thank you.” She gets up and drags her father out of the emergency room.

On her way out, your eyes pierce up and down her figure, of course you were judging her and comparing yourself to her, you know you’re way prettier than she is that you secretly wonder why did the man marry her to begin with.

You roll your eyes at your own thoughts, a little cocky for you to think like that, but oh well.

The moment they leave the emergency room you grab out your phone to see 3 texts and a missed call from Namjoon. You decide not to call him back and instead, call Seokjin to find out what the hell was going on.

And he explains the entire thing to you on the phone, and you’re now happy that he did what he did.

You text back Namjoon of course not letting him know what happened just now, before locking your phone and leaning your head back onto your chair.

A sudden heavy weight sits on your shoulders, and you feel a little too involved in Namjoon’s divorce even when you didn’t want to, which makes you genuinely upset. You now wish you liked a man who was single already and had nothing to go through, no divorce, no custody, no nothing.

As she returns home with her father she locks the door and he sits onto the couch to clip the closed envelope with the divorce paper, “You better hide this well, he can’t see this do you understand?”

She nods and hesitates to blurt out. “I have something in mind, I know exactly how we can set him up.”

“I think this report is more than enough to get you your rights.” He doesn’t want to listen, totally insisting on doing everything his way. “After all, I can’t lose his father.”

“I know, and what I’m about to do is going to get me more than just my rights.” She holds onto her father. “I can promise you.”

“What are you planning to do?” He finally decides to listen.

A little over one week passed by and you and Namjoon still haven’t seen each other since you came back from the beach house, he’s been flying constantly and barely has the time to rest or see his son, and you’ve been working double shifts just to kill time.

Of course Hoseok never left you alone, even if you came back home feeling tired and sleepy, he would bring his papers and work on his cases even when you’re asleep, and by the time you’ve woken up he would’ve ordered food or cooked something. And some nights Yoongi came to sleep over when Mia went back to visit her family.

Hoseok’s plan worked perfectly as he wanted you and Namjoon to keep it low key, of course you had no idea, but he’s doing his best to protect you.

When Hoseok suddenly had “Plans” on a Friday night you knew that he’s hooking up with someone or found a new fling, of course you were home and you knew that Namjoon flies back today from Tokyo, his air carrier had shortage and they asked him to fly internationally even when he hasn’t in a long time.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I should.” You whine as you put the last dish in the dishwasher, you’re video chatting with him as he’s driving to his place after landing. “Come on, we’re always hanging out at your place, this time I want you to come over.”

“Is Jay still in Ilsan?” You ask, you remember him telling you a few days ago that Jay’s at his grandparents’ place with his mom. “Yeah, they won’t be back until Friday.”

You take off your gloves and hang them by your sink before leaning your hand on your hip. “Namjoon, this is not a good idea.”

“Come on, please? You haven’t seen my place yet and—“ The call suddenly lags and the screen shows that the call is reconnecting, it seems to be that you’re on hold and he has another call, in the mean time you wash your hands and take the apron off before plopping down onto your bed until he connects again. “Sorry, I had to take this call.” This time his phone is in his hands as he seems to be reading something on his phone. “Are you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, it’s an order that should be delivered to my place tonight.” He finally hangs his phone on his dashboard. “So what do you say? Should I come pick you up?”

“You don’t have to, I’ll take my car.”

“So you’re coming?” His pearly whites show in a smile wider than ever and you roll your eyes. “Alright.”

“I’ll be waiting for you, be quick okay? I’m going to order dinner.” He makes a turn, his eyes barely looking on the road as he’s trying to take quick glances of you.

“I’ll get ready right away, see you then.” You smile and wave your hands, he waves back and blows you a kiss before hanging up.

You get up on your feet and rush to get ready, a pair of comfy jeans and an oversized button up with a pair of converse.

Namjoon on the other hand, gets home and locks the door before taking a quick glance around his house, he starts picking up Jay’s scattered toys and putting them away into his son’s bedroom, he puts his carry on in his bedroom and gets in the shower, making sure he’s quick before you get here.

His door bell rings while he’s wrapping the towel around his waist, he knows it’s not you because your house is a little far from his place, so he rushes to the door and opens the security cameras, he remembers the package that was supposed to be delivered, but why is it here so early?

He opens the door and grabs the big package from the woman’s hands and puts it down. “Where do I sign?”

“Mister Kim.” She takes a single step closer and he automatically takes a step back as he feels uncomfortable and a little terrified, she lifts her hand to graze it onto his shoulder and chest as she takes another step closer, until she’s practically inside the house.

Of course it’s you who shows up at the right time, the elevator doors opens and you take a walk down the aisle and turn to make your way to his apartment door, but what’s happening in front you doesn’t need further explanation.

You made the effort to get him a passenger airplane Lego to put up together with him and at that second it was totally not worth the effort.

It hurts inside, and not because you’re jealous or anything, that’s way far behind you.

It hurts that you let yourself get o this place, you never got into a relationship because you know men can be heartless and mean, and now this happens right before your eyes and it physically hurts that you can’t do anything about it, you’re not the one to blame him because practically you two aren’t aa thing yet.

You can’t stop him from seeing other people, and he could so easily go hook up with someone and you can’t say anything about it, he’s a free man and he could do anything he wants, you don’t dare to take a step further, you simple put the Legos down and turn to get back into the elevator, you’re not even sure he saw you.

You don’t feel physically well and you feel the need to lean against the elevator walls, you’re hurt and you can’t deny that you’re a little… Embarrassed?

Yeah you’re embarrassed.

You’re embarrassed at the fact that the man who you told your friends was actually a good man despite he was married is apparently seeing other people, but goodness, everyone thought he was head over heels for you, how come did that happen?

Oh my god.

Your palm sits on your face when you realize how tragically stupid you sound, the man is married and you still like him??

The elevator door opens when you finally get to the ground floor and your phone starts ringing nonstop, of course it’s him. You rush to your car and get inside to drive away fast before he can catch onto you, and even when you’re now 5 minutes away from his place, he’s still calling and you finally decide to answer. “Hello?”

“Y/N, where are you?” He worriedly asks and he’s out of breath.

There’s a very clear lump in your throat when you speak. “Oh hey, I was just going to text you that I wasn’t feeling too well.”

“Y/N, I saw the Legos, what did you see?”

You’re totally caught, and to avoid saying anything that you may regret later, you swallow and laugh awkwardly. “Namjoon, I just need some time alone, it’s okay.” By the way, it’s totally not.

“No, wait, Y/N, it’s not what it looks like.” He speaks and you immediately stop him. “Yeah, you know what, I’m pretty sure it isn’t” Of course you’re not convinced. “But I need to be alone and think some stuff through.”

“Y/N—“

“Namjoon, I need to hang up, I’m driving, okay? I’ll see you around.” You take your phone off of your ear and it takes you a few seconds to press the red button and hang up the call.

Your shoulders sulk in disappointment when you exhale, your eyelids suddenly are getting heavier by the second, you need to lay down.

Your drive home took some time, when you finally get there and lock the door, you make your way to your bed and finally lay down with your clothes still on.

It hurts a little the fact that it’s been a while since you’ve spent a Friday night on your own, not that it’s specifically Namjoon whose been hanging out with you, but it was either you working, or you having plans with your friends, but tonight, your friends had their own plans.

You end up falling asleep way too early that night with your jeans on.

Utter shit is what Namjoon wakes up feeling like, he’s sweating and his head is pounding with a headache that he never experienced before.

Yes you’re hurt, but he thinks that you should’ve listened and that you’re being unfair to him.

This is the last thing he thinks of, he’s confused and wondering since when did the mail arrive out of schedule? This woman that delivered it wasn’t even in a certain uniform or anything.

Namjoon opens his mail and bank receipts to see that the order was made over a month ago, but he wasn’t sent a mail that the package was delivered even when he just got it.

Something smells fishy and he can’t put a finger on it.

“Bingo.”

The CCTV finally falls in his wife’s hands, she even cropped and edited the video to get the desired part on tape.

Namjoon’s lawyer wanted concrete evidence? He got it.

“What do you want for your birthday?” You take a sip from your wine, you and Hoseok were spending the afternoon at Jungkook’s place.

“You don’t have to get me anything.” The younger waves his hand shyly, “I just want us to celebrate it together, we could go party somewhere.”

“But we have to get you an actual gift.” Hoseok is way too focused onto the gaming console that Jungkook has. “We’re going to get you something anyway, you would make it a little easier if you actually said what you want.”

“Do you want handmade coupons like last year?” You giggle.

You two came up with this stupid idea, when you had no idea what to get him for his birthday, he asked you to do his dishes or cook him something or even do his laundry, so you handmade coupons that he could use whenever he wants throughout the year that had several chores written on them.

“This year I’m turning 27, I want 27 different coupons.” He asks and you rolls your eyes. “Absolutely not, you’re only getting ten.”

Hoseok finally puts down the gaming console and crosses his legs. “We’ll party tomorrow in the club, and we can have dinner on Saturday.”

“You have a birthday weekend you brat, when it was my birthday all I got from you was a pack of condoms that I still have till this day and a happy meal.” You hit his shoulder, he rubs it and pouts. “You said you liked it.”

“Yeah, I lied.”

“I’ll tell everyone on the group chat.” Hoseok grabs out his phone, Jungkook turns towards you and asks. “Can Namjoon come?”

Right when you’re about to open your mouth, Hoseok answers. “No.”

You were going to give Jungkook the same answer, but Hoseok didn’t want Namjoon to come just because he can’t be seen in public with someone when he’s going through a divorce.

“Why?” Jungkook’s doe eyes stare at you two in confusion as Hoseok explains to him why he can’t come. “It’s going to be alright.” Jungkook’s arm wraps around you.

“I wonder if Seokjin can come too, how is he feeling?” Hoseok changes the topic and Jungkook looks at him in confusion again. “What happened?”

“He was tested positive for covid.” You nod your head. “But he’s fine now.”

They still don’t know what you saw a week ago, and of course they can’t know.

The next day you finally get to the club, strobe lights on and off around the place, the speakers bursting out loud music that you feel pounding inside your eardrums, it’s the end of the summer so it was really crowded, the bar stools completely full and you could barely walk inside.

You roll your eyes when you see Jungkook in a party hat on his face and a pair of shades and a birthday whistle in between his lips. “There’s the birthday boy.” You wrap your arms around him and kiss him on the cheek, he hugs you back and lifts you up. “You look incredible.”

He’s right, you were in a short green velvety dress that had spaghetti straps and a slit down the thigh. You matched it with a pair of high heels. “I know, so do you.”

Jimin hugs you right after and pulls you the chair next to him to be seated right between him and Seokjin. You spend the first few minutes catching up even when you barely can hear each other from the loud music.

“Did you tell Hoseok about what happened in the ER?” Seokjin asks, Hoseok’s head snaps fast towards you two and leans in. “What happened?”

“Namjoon’s wife came in for a medical report.”

“And did you give it to them?”

“I have a copy of it on my phone if you want to.” You take your phone out from your purse before turning to Seokjin. “But I already told Hoseok that I don’t want to be involved in this case anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks, while Hoseok grabs your phone from your hand to read the report. “It’s his divorce and his private life, It’s really consuming my mental wellness to just think about it.”

He understandably nods. “You’re right, that’s what I wanted to tell you from the very beginning.”

“You did a great job.” Hoseok gives you your phone back. “Did they read it?”

“Of course not, I had to lie and tell them that the court only takes closed reports.” A proud smile sits on Hoseok’s face. “Typical Y/N behavior.”

“Shut up.” You elbow him before getting up and dragging him and Seokjin to the dance floor with your drinks in your hands.

Time passed by so quick that night, you were having so much fun, and a bunch of drinks later, you and your friends are still on the dance floor and you feel yourself starting to shut down, you tap their shoulders and shout for them to hear. “I need to sit.” And they carelessly nod, you make your way to one of the bar stools and ask the bartender for a bottle of a water before looking back at the dance floor, giggling at your friends who were dancing all over Jungkook.

“Hey.” You hear a deep sound coming from behind you and you turn your head, a tall charming man leaning onto the bar with a drink in his hand, his dark hair up in a man bun and a grin sits on his plump red lips. “I’m Jaewook.”

Your eyes drift down to his hands as if your whole experience with Namjoon taught you a lesson the hard way. Your eyes are abruptly searching through his fingers for a ring which makes him follow your eye sight, you finally ask. “Are you married?”

“Excuse me?”

You don’t even blink nor repeat your question, you suddenly grow shameless and you’re not going to elaborate or take your question back, your eyebrow rises up as you maintain eye contact with him before he stutters. “N-no? I’m not.”

“I’m Y/N.” You reach your hand out to shake his, he shakes back your hand and takes a sip from his drink. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“No thanks, I’m done for tonight.” You cross your legs, you feel his eyes pierce through your entire body, his eyes are examining you head to toe, settling a little on your ass that’s sat on the stool.

You can’t not admit the man was attractive, and at this time and with your state of mind, you won’t mind flirting with him or even being flirted with, so you turn your face towards him and lean your elbow onto the bar. “Do you usually buy every girl you see a drink?”

He takes a step closer, his shoulder pressed against yours and leans closer towards your ear so you can hear him well. “Only pretty ones like you.”

You don’t know if it’s the alcohol or the fact that the last time you had sex was weeks ago, but your body is reacting upon his touch and you shiver at his breath against your ear shell.

“Are you here with someone?”

“Just my friends.” You shrug, he nods and leans in again to ask. “So no boyfriend huh?”

It takes you a second to answer, a dry lump sits in your throat and you force yourself to swallow it and shake your head. “Nope, not at all.”

His lips twitch into a tiny grin before he brushes his fingers against your shoulder, “You wanna go dance?”

You lower your head to stare at his fingers before looking up into his eyes before you smirk. “Sure.”

He puts his drink down and offers you his hand, you take it and head to the dance floor with him, his hands sit onto your hips and yours are wrapped around his neck, both your bodies swaying together.

Biology works and as a man it’s a quite normal reaction for him to feel a little aroused that a pretty girl like you is alone and drunk, you agreed to dance with him, maybe you would agree going home with him?

His face sits in the crook of your neck and he prints the wettest most softest kiss ever almost as if he’s testing waters to see if you’d be okay with more than just dancing or not.

But your drunk and hazy mind can’t comprehend anything, you giggle and lean your head back. “Namjoon stop.”

Standing in front of you, the tall handsome man’s name is long forgotten and you realize you’re fucked when the name that escapes your lips is his name.

It hits you and it hits you harder than ever, that you’re actually pretty angry at him, and you’re even more upset at the fact that he didn’t try to call you nor contact you in any way.

You press hard onto your teeth and just wish that you actually helped his soon to be ex spouse with the fake medical report, Namjoon doesn’t deserve shit.

“Namjoon?”

You totally forgot the man standing in front of you.

Your nausea is creeping onto you and you pull back with your hand hovering over your stomach. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”

You brush your shoulder against his as you walk past him to make your way towards your table, Seokjin is already sitting there drinking water. “Are you okay?”

You’re swallowing repeatedly trying to hold back from throwing up, you remember the last time this happened and it scarred you a little. But still you nod your head. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

The rest of the guys get seated and they bring out a bottle of champagne to pop and finally celebrate Jungkook’s birthday.

Yoongi lifts his glass up and starts making a toast but you’re not listening.

Your mind is somewhere else and you can’t really ignore the fact that you’re very bitter at Namjoon, he never even tried to apologize, the only thing this could mean is that you really mean nothing to him.

You scoff a little on the inside, once a cheater always a cheater, right?

He cheated on his own wife, the mother of his child with you, he could so easily go hook up with someone else and give them the same story and he won’t even be half sorry.

You take your phone out and hide it under the table before you send him a text.

“???”

Less than a minute after he reads the message before replying.

“You wanna talk?”

“To Jungkook!” Yoongi speaks and that’s the only thing you hear before clinking your glasses together. “To Jungkook.”

You take a sip from your champagne and get up onto your feet. “I need to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

You make your way outside the club and unlock your phone to call Namjoon, two rings after he answers. “Hello?”

“Listen Namjoon, if you think I texted you just because I wanted to talk things through then you’re wrong, you have to know that I deserve—“

Of course your slurred speech makes it hard for him to understand and he could so easily tell that you’re drink, since the music behind you is loud enough too, he knows you’re out. “Y/N? Are you drunk?”

You squint your eyes and your hand sits on your hip before you bite at him. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“Of course it does.” He even has the audacity to argue with the coldest tone ever. “Where are you?”

“You don’t have to know.” You feel yourself barely able to stand up, the alcohol now affecting you harder than before. “You know what, I’ll see you later.”

This jerk even hangs up, your jaw falls as you stare onto your phone screen in denial, you’re fuming on the inside and you wish you could just reach your fist through the phone and punch him to ease the fire building inside you.

“Are you sure you can make it upstairs on your own?” Seokjin asks when he drops you in front of your building, you’re about to open your mouth for an answer but Seokjin looks behind you and smiles. “I know you’re in safe hands now, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, how are you?”

Of course it’s Namjoon, you roll your eyes and don’t even turn towards him, his hand sits on your lower back as he handshakes Seokjin. “I heard you tested positive, how are you feeling now?”

The two spend a couple minutes catching up together, of course none of your friends know about what happened with him, you didn’t want to tell them just to avoid the embarrassment, and at this exact moment when they catch up and chat specifically, you’re really glad you didn’t tell them.

“Drive safe.” You force a smile to Seokjin before he finally gets into his car and drives away, you make your way inside the building totally ignoring the fact that Namjoon is shadowing you, his hands fighting the urge to touch you, and his entire body is on standby worried that you may stumble or fall or anything.

You click the button of the elevator and cross your arms, awkward silence and tension building between the two of you , your eyelids and tongue feel heavy and you’re having a headache so of course you’re not going to argue with him.

Just treat him as if he doesn’t exist, you think.

He’s completely sober though and he’s sinking in his own pond of thoughts, wondering where to start from? How to explain himself? How should he even apologize? He knows he looks like utter trash to you now and he’s not in a good place in front of you, but he’s innocent.

The elevator door closes on the two of you and you cross your arms as you’re standing in the middle of the elevator, your eyes focused on the numbers of floors increasing every 5 seconds.

Your apartment is in the 16th floor so you know your trip is going to take some time.

He leans against the elevator walls, his eyes locked onto you from behind, his palms and back are getting sweaty even when it wasn’t a hot night, he’s nervous and he doesn’t recall the last time his fight or flight worked this hard.

The elevator rings when it stops on the desired floor and you walk out of it, your heels being the only sound heard through the aisle, you reach to your door to click onto the password and unlock it, you walk inside and he follows you in.

You lift one leg up to try and take off your heels before you stumble and lose your gait, him being on standby benefits you when he supports you with his own body, his hands sitting onto your forearms. “You’re okay, let me help you.”

You want to push him back so bad but you really can’t spare the effort to take off your heals, and if you were alone you would’ve probably slept in them. He gets down on one knee and helps you with the pair, of course you don’t bother thanking him or anything, you just make your way inside to your bedroom and put your phone and purse down.

“Namjoon—“ You start before he presses his lips against yours for one single kiss, he leans his forehead against yours with his hands hovering over your hips. “Y/N, you’re tired and drunk, please let me take care of you, and we’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

You have so many things to say but you physically can’t, your eyelids are shutting down and you feel yourself near falling asleep, you don’t remember when was the last time you were this drunk, tonight you went way overboard.

He stands behind you and his shaky hands unzip your dress before he pulls you into the bathroom, he slides your dress off of you and assists you to get in the shower, he helps you shampoo your hair and bathes you before wrapping your bathrobe around your body, his top a little wet from the water splashing onto him.

You sit on the covered toilet before he hands you your toothbrush, you groan because you barely have the power to be seated, and he wants you to brush your teeth?

He grabs the hair dryer and dries your hair before helping you rinse your teeth and go to bed. “There you go.” He lifts the blanket for you to lay down and you do right after taking off your bathrobe, he tucks you in bed and turns off the lights, before walking to the other side and laying beside you.

The next morning you wake up surprisingly without a headache, you had your fair share the night before and you went to the bathroom a few times during the night, so the alcohol is probably out of your system.

You feel cold so you cuddle onto the blanket and look at the air conditioning remote to see it turned off, the weather is getting colder indeed, but you look under the blanket to find out that you’re completely naked. Your eyes almost fall from their sockets, did you come home with anyone last night?

You look over at the empty space behind you, it seems like someone slept next to you but you don’t remember who it was, were you really that drunk?

You hear your coffee machine buzzing from the kitchen which makes you flinch in bed, someone is actually with you and you’re starting to get a little scared, especially when the footsteps are getting closer to your bedroom.

You’re a little relieved but a little angry when you realize it’s Namjoon holding your favorite mug filled with coffee and walking into your bedroom. “Good morning.” His stupid dimple again, ugh.

“Yeah.” Your hand moves to your head to scratch it before you rub your eyes, and suddenly you remember everything that happened last night, well practically nothing happened, but you still remember some bits here and there. “Good morning.” You clear your throat as you sit up, holding the blanket closer to your chest, he hands you the cup of coffee and a couple pills of pain killer. “Thank you.”

You don’t need the painkillers so you put them onto the night stand and take a few sips from the coffee in order for your brain to start functioning. “How are you feeling?”

“Why are you here?” You ask calmly, your eyes not bothering to look up at him. He laughs quietly before sitting onto the edge of the bed and answers. “I know you’re mad and upset, but believe me, what you saw wasn’t true.”

“Oh so was I seeing things?” You take another sip from your coffee. “Or was I hallucinating that you were with someone else right by your door with only a towel on?”

“Y/N—“

“You know what.” You put your mug down before holding your hands together. “I’m so glad this happened, and the more I think about it, it’s fine, I just didn’t know that we were allowed to hook up with other people, it’s a good thing I found out so I don’t have to be careful, that’s all.”

The thought itself disturbs Namjoon, not the fact that you don’t believe him, but at the fact that you were implying that you can hook up with other people, he’s a little irritated at the thought of you being touched or kissed by someone other than him.

“After all, it really was just a hookup.” You shrug, he shakes his head in denial before he process a couple words out of his mouth. “It wasn’t true, I have no idea how to prove it to you but it is not true.”

You nod your head totally not convinced before grabbing your mug again and taking a few sips from it. “Can you get me something to wear?”

He rises up on his feet and opens your closet to grab you out a pair of shorts and a top. “You’re being unfair to me.”

“Okay.” You keep drinking your coffee, totally unbothered by his excuses, and it seems like he’s getting angrier by the second before he turns to you. “If I wanted to be with someone else I would’ve told you.”

“Sure.”

“And you think I would’ve messed with someone else right by the door? Where everyone can see me?” He shuts the closet, your clothes still sitting in his hand. “Nope.” You’re slowly driving him out of his mind, and it shocks you the amount of self control this man has. Even when your behavior was irritating him, he still contained himself.

“You won’t even listen when I tried to explain myself, and that was totally unfair.” He walks closer, you reach your hand out to grab your clothes, but he argues again. “I will prove it, I actually thought you trusted me, I thought we had something.”

You rub your eyes in frustration when he won’t actually hand you the clothes, “You know what, let’s just imagine if the whole thing happened with me, what would you do?”

He crosses his arms before answering. “I would actually listen before assuming anything, especially when I know that you have people around you trying to set you up like people are doing to me.”

He’s partially right, it could be someone trying to set him up and screw up his divorce.

You’re an inch away from being actually convinced, before you remember that the man once pretended to be single and never mentioned his marriage, and again you’re back to point zero.

You forgive him for doing it but you can’t forget it at all, of course you’re not going to bring it up because you agreed to hook up with him even after you knew he was involved in a relationship.

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.” You shrug your shoulders, “You can do anything you want to, you’re a free man and I can’t be in the way.”

He sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed and he whispers. “I want to be with you.”

You look into his eyes and you see regret and disappointment all over his face, similar to the time you saw him in Ilsan right after you found out about his marriage. “I don’t think I’m worthy, but I’m selfish enough to actually want you. I lied to you once and I can’t forgive myself, you were there for me every day for the past few months and it makes me feel guilty for doing you wrong so bad.”

You don’t let your emotions control you, your brain is much of a hard worker than your heart is, so you shrug again and look down. “I don’t know Namjoon, you have to give me some time, and we have to know where your divorce is going, so many things happened and I don’t think you know.”

His face changes and his eyebrows form a knot between them, “What happened?”

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sykokilljoyy · 1 year

Note

If reqs are still open, could you do w2s harry x golden retriever!Reader? Like she’s just always happy and overjoyed? I’m curious to see their dynamic

WROETOSHAW X GOLDEN RETRIEVER!READER HEADCANONS

a/n: i am in love with whoever sent this anon. i love people w golden retriever energy they're my favs so this is my fav y/n concept ever ever. also quickly learnt i have no idea how to spell retriever it's so hard for no reason. love u all!! more writing coming soon x

firstly, this man is cuddly. i don't care who you ask, he's a real life teddy bear and i'm not accepting any arguments

so when it comes to you, and your very apparent love language of touch, this sweet man cannot stop his arms from opening to you.

2am, 6am, 11pm, no matter when, and no matter the reason, he can't deny how persuasive your giddy grin can be, and the puppy dog eyes, of course

you're his biggest supporter by a mile

he makes some toast?? round of applause for this man

you're so proud of him no matter what

and you make it so obvious, which he appreciates beyond words

you both come as a package

wherever he goes, you go – happily, with a smile on your face

to summarise the dynamic, it's a lot of heart eyes

the first time you both went public with the relationship, on a Sidemen Sunday of all places, the comments consisted of basically a lot of;

'oh my god the way they look at him is so cute'

'i can't get over the way they look at him'

'Y/N IS ADORABLE I CAN'T'

harry is a big gift giver

sometimes it's hard for him to convey his emotions with words, he can struggle with affection from time to time

but when things get hard and he can't tell you how much he loves you, you'll come home to a beautiful necklace, or tickets to a concert from favourite artist, or a romantic getaway somewhere expensive

you hop excitedly into his room to thank him

he's sitting at his desk, nervous, hoping his gift is telling you what he can't

him seeing your bright, loving smile and the buzz in your eyes makes his whole body relax and he finally finds the words

“i love you so much, y/n”

you jump to him, face buried in his neck, and he can't deny that the feeling of your embrace makes his heart sore out of his chest

one morning, after a long day the day before

you’re laying in his bed, barely conscious, your eyes still misty from sleep

immediately, you feel harry’s arms pull gently at your waist, bringing you towards him

his lips are on your cheek, hands touching your skin softly

he can feel your smile without even opening his eyes

“you know you reach for me in your sleep” he whispers, his voice is still haunted by sleep

“because i love you, and you’re always warm”

“you’re like a golden retriever, you know”

he feels you smile wider

the only downside of this dynamic, is when arguments arise

conflict is always natural in a relationship, and you do understand that

but you wear your heart on your sleeve, and your admiration for your boyfriend is so strong that when it gets rough, and maybe communication gets skewed, you find it incredibly hard

if he needs space, you find it difficult to keep your mind from him

you give him whatever he needs to get his head straight, and he does the same, but it rattles you a little, not being with him when you need to the most

but when he calls you one night, with his tone warm as honey, asking how you are, that he's missed you and he's ready to talk things through, your heart fills with happiness and relief

overall, it's the sweetest dynamic, and harry adores it

you're a bundle of joy with a heart of gold, and the love you have for this man, you're never secretive about it

he wouldn't ever change it for the world <3

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silent-sanctum · 3 months

Text

You know in honor of Valentines Day, how about I make a list of Valentines headcanons about Jotaro Kujo:

♡ When someone asks what flag color he is, one would most likely say red because of his rude, standoffish, and aloof personality (mostly seen in his teenage years)

♡ However, if you think about it aside from the rough exterior, he's actually a subtle green flag. Let me explain-

♡ This is one of those instances where you have to look past his awkward loner-esque personality and observe how he treats people that don't constantly piss him off.

♡ There's a reason why some of us compare his "heart of gold" to the Amazon Forest that is Jonathan:

♡ Jotaro respects boundaries. As someone who's space often gets violated by unwanted fangirls, he's very aware of the importance of personal space. He won't force you to do stuff you don't want to.

♡ Jotaro is open-minded. He likes to explore his surroundings a lot and isn't exactly rigid with preferences or routines. He's willing to accompany you to wherever you want to go and would try out stuff you'd like for him to try out. After all, he did surprise Joseph when he said India was a neat place to be in.

♡ Jotaro is an active listener. Unlike Jonathan, he can't really offer you solid words of comfort. It's not his expertise. But to make up for that, he'd lend a ear to whatever you want to say to him. Sure, he won't talk much but at times, when you really need someone, he'd be there for you- help you out by giving advice on how to not get hurt again, and help provide you logical reasoning that validates your feelings.

♡ Jotaro is loyal and caring. Yes, he's all "mean and grouchy" no one's denying that, but behind that tough skin is someone that loves his friends and family. He values their security above all else and is willing to put his life on the line just to keep them safe from danger. He also isn't one to condone cheating as evident by his statement about Joseph's infidelity.

♡ Jotaro's love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time. He likes company but he just can't express it well. At times, he'd spend some of his free time just being by your side, lowkey glad seeing you happy with him around. He can tell when you're upset just by reading your body language or can tell what you need from piecing together recollections of your words. As a result, he'd find ways to make you happy using the methods he can do. He'd buy stuff you like, offer you dinner dates at a restaurant that serves your current cravings, put on your favorite movie or music etc.

♡ Jotaro isn't as possessive as you'd expect him to be. He's very aware he's shit at being an entertaining guy, so he isn't in the position of being all high and mighty of wanting you to just be with him. If anything, he likes seeing you enjoy your day hanging out with friends... but he'd really appreciate it when you'd often have him in mind and you invite him to hang with your friend group. Whether he accepts or declines, he's happy you considered inviting him. But if he sees someone blatantly trying to make moves on you, then he has to intervene to remind everyone that you're taken.

❣️ When Valentines arrives... ❣️

♡ Honestly, don't expect him to show up in public being head-over-heels with some grand display of affection because he's not Jonathan nor Joseph.

♡ Instead, you'd find him waiting for you to finish your tasks and either tells you ahead of time where they're going to spend the day or asks you where do you want to go.

♡ Either way, you engage in usual banter and conversation, just how you both liked it over the months, and continue to do so even when dining or spending time in said place.

♡ You both don't show much PDA as an average couple would, and you didnt mind it one bit. But there are times where Jotaro wouldn't mind holding your hand in public. He'd slowly reach your hand, hold it, and place your interlocked hands in his pocket. And you find that genuinely endearing.

♡ Depending on his impromptu plans, he'd either bring you out in a quiet area of a park or ask you if you'd like to hang in his place or yours. And when reaching somewhere private, it's only there that you find out he actually bought you a bouquet and a gift containing something you wanted.

♡ With the way he approached you all bashful under his hat throughout the entirety of the day, you're reminded why you fell in love with him despite the awful first impressions.

♡ To end it off, you both finish the day either by cuddling to sleep or having an intimate session before going to sleep.

#jotaro x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #jotaro kujo #mijin thoughts

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shinjisdone · 11 months

Text

When You Have An Secret Admirer - And It's Not Them (Ignihyde; 6)

A love letter was left at your door and now you are searching for that ‘secret admirer’ - everyone wants to help you out…but have their own reason for it.

'Nobody really thinks anyone without any magic is or can be interesting, but I honestly thought you were the most fascinating person ever since I saw you...'

form of headcanons + scenario-ish

[note: reader is gender-neutral but mostly mentioned in 2. pov; a series of everyone you meet following you. headcanon will follow each char. own thoughts on the situation. mostly nervousness, slight jealousy & stubbornness]

Part 1: Heartslabyul

Part 2: Savanaclaw

Part 3: Octavinelle

Part 4: Scarabia

Part 5: Pomefiore

Part 7: Diasomnia

Alright, maybe staying in your room became too much.

Especially if you have love letters, hand-made school notes, flowers and now a flying mirror throwing you compliments all stuffed in your dusty Ramshakle room. The one place that is supposed to be a haven is now suffocating.

It's hard to digest this 'secret admirer'. All of this and all that they tell you is so flattering and so much. The majority of the students here are usually kind of pricks, like villains out of a fairytale book, so to have someone pour their heart out so unashamadly, even knocking Rook out of the park, is...shocking. Whenever they are brought up, it leaves you stumped.

You cannot deny the chaos they caused...after all these overblots, you thought the worst of the worst is over...but things at Night Raven College never seem to be still. You understand that others are upset and you don't want them to be upset...but what are you going to do? Find that admirer yourself so they can get their grande, over-the-top confession over with?

Idia Shroud

Fingers are vehemently and obsessively typing codes upon codes of the security doors - the new security doors that Idia just implemented.

AAAAAAA HE KNOWS HE IS NEXT

NO NO NO Idia is no fool. DO not take him for a FOOL! Each dorm was targeted and attacked one after another and he KNOWS he will be next!

He knows! He watched everything unfold online! Through the cameras! He counted the days on the calender! And well, he knows the majority from Ortho. The real MVP.

This is bad. BAD BAD BAD.

Some weirdo, self-proclaimed Chad Romeo is gonna barge into his dorm - or sabotage his scores - or destroy all his communication IRL - or GASP delete his steam library!

Whatever they may be, they are waaaaay over themselves! Going on some kind of Z like Zorro vengeance x romance anime genre and thinking they are the good guy.

Spoiler alert: If Idia and all he loves (his brother and his games) get hurt, YOU ARE NOT THE GOOD GUY!

Just let them give up on this weird escapade and have them confess already! Then he can be spared!

THEY BETTER GET THEMSELVES TOGETHER, OH SO ROMANITC SECRET ADMIRER, AND HAVE THEM CONFESS TO YOU ALREADY!!!!!111211!!

Oh. Wait.

That's actually not something Idia wants.

It was just a sudden brain blast idea. If the admirer just gets their confession, then surely Idia and his dorm will be spared (because he is sure he'll be next! I mean, the order is so??? obvious???) - but if they do confess...you might accept...

In fact, Idia doesn't want anyone to confess to you in the first place at all.

Not even himself!

Uh, n-n-n-not that...he wants to c-c-c-c-c-confess to you, or anything...

FML this is hard

He is sharpening up security left and right and imploring Ortho for some kind of advice on what to do. Idia is too panicked to make a decision.

The dormhead is certain he will at least get humiliated, his one weakness! If not, then surely something worse is going to happen...

Sure, he did awful things before and during his, er, overblot but ngl hasn't everyone? Why can't the admirer just skip him like an event?

Leave him alone and just focus on their goal...which is you.

The solution is right there - have the admirer confess to you already. Idia can even lend a hand with his tech-geek knowledge!

But it feels so wrong. The jealously and pettiness is eating him up, causing him to hesitate.

Idia is imagining what it would be like if you said 'yes' to a normie...and it just gives him more reasons to shut himself in.

The thought of failing to seize the moment leaves a black hole in his stomach...he's both scared, paranoid, jealous and upset.

He is just one click away from making a choice...and maybe he should try being risky for once...

Ortho Shroud

Very not against you having a secret admirer! Even when they are being very bold!

Even Ortho notes how unusually determined this admirer is. Isn't distance adoration supposed to be more delicate and...not happen so often? It's been almost a month and everybody's talking about the admirer and their anitcs! Not very "secretive" if you ask him.

It is none of his business...if it weren't for his dear big brother!

Ortho can see through him as if he were glass. It is beyond obvious on how he feels about you and your admirer. If only he wouldn't shut himself in so often and for such a long time, literally everyone could realize his deep feelings for you. And Ortho wants to do nothing but help his brother.

Hence he was so uncertain when Idia kept on asking him to tail the admirer - so far so that they were able to track them and find out who they are.

He keeps on tabs - while Idia keeps on fighting himself on what to do. It goes on and on in circles until someone decides on something.

The robot boy grows worried...and asks his brother to follow his heart rather his fear.

Well, this is strange.

Why on earth are there signs and trinkets wanting to lead you to a path as if you were lost? What is this, Hensel and Gretel?

You'd have long chucked it up as a bad attempt as a joke but all the signs were actually...holograms hovering near the walls. Only nerds or Ignihyde students would be smart enough to be able to create such things but they are also too chill to even think up any jokes. Besides, the path seems to lead to the spring, a public space. Why should anyone want to lead anyone to a usually crowded place such as that?

Peculiar that only you are here to see the holograms, too.

Certainly nothing too outrageous would happen and you'd make sure to keep your distance as you made your way there. In fact, once you came close enough (by hiding behind a pillar, you aren't taking your chances) you could make out a lone figure sitting on the spring. They seemed to hold something rather big in their hands...

This...couldn't be it, could it? The destination is a person?

You cautiously approach...only for a blue light to blind you.

Ortho Shroud

You winced as you took a few steps back, hissing like a cat.

The light dimmed down siginificantly and a figure was a bit too close for your liking.

"So sorry, Prefect!"

You blink and your vision cleared. It was Ortho!

You ask him about what he's doing here and the many holograms around. He avoids each question, pointing out how there are no holograms, what are you talking about?

He didn't almost barge into you, he was practicing bis new, updated gear! What are you talking about?

And no, you did not hear a yelp. What are you talking about?

You lean to the side, peeking to the left of the robot boy. He still tries to get your attention on him.

The silhouette is gone...

Idia Shroud

Oh god WHAT HAS HE DONE?

The good thing...? The right call...?

How is he supposed to know? Panicking while typing away and suddenly gritting his teeth and cancelling all of this!

Cancel! Cancel, cancel, cancel!

Just a moment ago he was so diligently planning everything...the signs, the locations, making sure there would be no one but you two...

No one but you two...

Just you two at the spring...three special words and Idia would no longer have to cower in anguish...

He sucked in a cold breath, as if his entire room was a hallway of death.

"Aaahhugh, damn it!"

Keyboards are swept aside as his hands bash against the screen in attempts to open up another tab.

"Screw this make-believe date! Screw this confession trope! It never works anyway and you always have to wait for the next episode ONLY FOR SOMEONE TO INTERRUPT IT ALL AND THAT CHARACTER WILL BE ME!"

Fingers aggressively tap on one word over and over again. Cancel.

"I'm nothing much but I'm not gonna be so STUPID to HELP MY RIVAL get the MC! That's self-sabotage and wallowing in pity times 100! No, 'secret admireeeeer', you will NOT get with the Prefect and maybe I will not but some overconfident, extroverted romantic-schmantic romeo is definitely NOT gonna be THE CHOSEN ONE!!!"

Idia keeps on tapping and prattling. Cancel. Cancel. Cancel.

Alas, the panic in his voice moprhed to petty anger.

He knows who they are, which dorm they are from. If anything were to happen to him or Ortho, at least he got some info...

Giddy over the advantage, the dormleader barely noticed that he was on speaker...

A message was quickly sent to him and he stops, gulping down his fear.

Ignihyde might not be spared as he wanted it to be but for once Idia followed his stupid, foolish, love-struck heart...and he feels a bit less immediate regret than usual.

[yeaaaaa Ignihyde wasnt much, there is only...1 person honestly. Ortho is like...middle schooler weenie-hut junior edition he gets no say in anything regarding love. He only loves his brother! Does anything for his big bro (>‿♥) Idia is such a shut-in that you cannot put him in many scenarios anyway...but i like the thought of him freaking out :) ]

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst scenarios #secret admirer #twst x reader #twst secret admirer #gender neutral imagine #Ignihyde #ortho shroud #idia shroud #reader insert #twst headcanons #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #idia freaking out is my favorite thing about him #just a bit of AAAAAA #lil coward crybaby he is so much like me fr #I may not be able to be the prince but YOU are a pauper too!#he prb thinks

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onirique-amaranth · 2 years

Text

⎮What type of subs are they?⎮

Part.2: Pierro, Scaramouche & La Signora

Pierro

❥ Pierro is the type of man that fulfils his duties perfectly, and never makes a mistake. He is really seen as a leader by everyone, only a few people would dare deny this fact. Despite being seen as strong and authoritative, it wasn't the same behind closed doors.

❥ All the responsibilities are stressing him to no end, and whenever he is with you that was the occasion to relieve the pressure he is feeling. The thing that should have only happened once, became a daily need.

❥ Pierro is a calm and easy sub to deal with, he would not put up a fight or throw a tantrum. He knows what he needs and desires and would just ask you to fulfil them. He is the calmest among them all and isn't tending toward any particular needs or behaviour.

❥ Don't try to touch him during his work hours, because it would not lead anywhere. He's a strict man and will not risk tarnishing his reputation. There are clear limits, and he hopes that you know how to respect them.

❥ In bed, he can handle soft and rough perfectly fine, he let you do whatever you want as long as it brings him the satisfaction he wants. Though, he could lose his patience if you make him wait for too long, and will make it clear that you need to do something.

❥ He doesn't care whenever you are the one being on top or if he is, as you dominate him in the end anyway.

❥ Remember, do not talk about work. I know it's tempting to say 'imagine if the Harbingers were seeing you right now, legs spread wide and moaning under me' but he's not here for you to mention them. He would probably send you a cold glare and get up to leave.

❥ He loves the feeling of being taken care of, being pushed down, ordered to not move or if you use something to restrict his movements. He doesn't need to be close to you physically, but he needs verbal affirmations, telling him he's doing good or explaining what you want to do. Show him and express verbally how great he is.

❥ He isn't a jealous man, you aren't together and he doesn't mind. But it may irk him a bit when he sees someone flirt with you, he doesn't acknowledge it as jealousy, he just tells himself that it would be annoying if you weren't free every night like before.

❥ So in the end, Pierro is the man you need if you want to enjoy yourself without constraints. But, keep in mind that it could change after some time. And also, never trust a Harbinger too much.

Scaramouche

❥ Despite what most of us think, Scaramouche isn't only a bratty sub. He's desperate, needs affection, attention, and dreams of being loved correctly. He thinks you are the one that has everything he needs.

❥ He's going to be bratty before anything, insult you, and keep saying how useless and ridiculous you are. But the second you have your arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly, he's melting.

❥ He won't say verbally what he wants but tries to tell you with his eyes, the way he grips your arms or moves his hips. He will find any other way to communicate how he's feeling, how good you make him feel.

❥ Don't let go, don't take your hands off him, he needs the contact to know that you're here. It doesn't matter if you are rough or soft, he wants to have one of your hands touching his skin and if it doesn't, get ready for a very moody and annoyed Scaramouche.

❥ He won't fight for dominance, nor to be a top, he just wants to have you. Grab his legs, put them on your shoulder or push them until his knees are touching his chest, let him get embarrassed by the position. Humiliate him as much as you want, hit him or leave bruises on him too, as long as after everything you clean him, and treat his wounds.

❥ He is addicted to you, and won't accept to do it with anyone else anymore. His mind is filled with you, and he may keep some rope and toys somewhere in his room whenever you are away.

❥ Won't accept to see you with anyone else, for whatever reason. He won't do anything in front of you but when you aren't here anymore, the person will see what hell is. Even if Scaramouche is being almost gentle and sweet with you, never forget what type of person he is.

❥ It isn't just something sexual, it's essential for him and will refuse to let those moments go. If one day he decides to leave, he knows that he will take you with him, you don't have a choice. You can't run away.

La Signora

❥ She isn't a soft sub, but not a bratty one either. She's a strong woman that knows what she wants, also she has more or less initiated everything between the two of you.

❥ You see her whenever she comes back from her mission, it almost became a habit for both of you. You would not just do it immediately, but share a cup of tea before and discuss a bit. She needs support and knowing that someone can listen to her, and not just only a night.

❥ You are both more on the soft side, slow and steady even if it happens for you to be a bit rougher sometimes. Rosalyne only craves a soft and lovely pace, sometimes making her remember her past and bringing back some feelings she forgot.

❥ There is no 'top or bottom' role between you, you just go with the flow, giving what the other need. She is someone that doesn't mind saying verbally what she wants and also likes to tease you a bit sometimes. Communication is really important for her.

❥ She loves being on top of you though, sitting on your lap while kissing you, she has a soft spot for you among all the subordinates. She doesn't separate her work and her personal life, and it's clear from the favouritism she does with you. Everyone knows it but never says anything.

❥ You can both go for a long time, switching positions or taking a break before starting again. You never get bored since you're both really open about trying new things and try your best to please the other.

❥ She definitely prefers praising over degrading, both giving and receiving. She also loves her comfort, so you really rarely or never do it outside the bedroom, as it doesn't bring the same feeling of intimacy. Be gentle with her and her broken soul, since you are one of the few people she trusts.

❥ Don't be fooled though, despite the kind act and behaviour, there will never be anything between the two of you. She is and will always be deeply in love with her first lover. Nothing will be able to completely fill the aching gap his death left in her heart.

❥ Which does explain why she will never be jealous, you both made it clear that you were just offering some support and comfort to the other, nothing more. Enjoy those moments fully, because it will be over soon.

⏤ Thank you for reading! I wish you a great day.

⏤ here is my masterlist & ko-fi ⏤

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haechwrites · 1 year

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wingwoman - L.MK

mark x fem!reader ft. jaemin

synopsis: mark has trouble pulling girls. he also has trouble understanding girls. this makes sense when he asks the best friend of his crush for help when it's blatantly obvious she's actually in love with him.

wc: ~9.5k

warnings: none??? unrequited love. mark is clueless. reader is a coward hehe. based in college. i say fem!reader bc they use she/her pronouns and refer to her as a "wingwoman," but honestly can be read as gender neutral?? ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN FIRST PERSON, so ignore mistakes pls

A/N: my first published work woot woot i've had this written and sitting for so long. i love unrequited love and angst. this isn't that angsty but maybe if i get sad enough, i can write an angstier one! okay byeee

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“You like him, don’t you?”

The mayo from your sandwich made a cartoonish splat onto the plate at the end of his question. Your head snapped over, looking at Jaemin incredulously for his unexpected inquiry. You were in the middle of a lovely meal with Mark in between classes. When Jaemin sat down to join halfway, You didn’t expect him to have an agenda in mind. You placed your sandwich down and checked to see how far Mark had gotten before you could speak. He had lost a round of rock, paper, scissors and was sent to buy drinks.

“What are you talking about?” You cleared your throat of whatever was left of your lunch. You knew exactly who and what he was talking about but you prayed it was something else. You didn’t want to have this discussion. Things could be laid out on this table that you're not yet ready to process, and not with Jaemin of all people. It’s not like you and Jaemin aren’t close. You're just both the same kind of person, the type of person who doesn’t like to express their feelings. So it was odd that Jaemin was even asking about your personal life.

“Mark. You like him, right?“ He raised a single eyebrow, tempting you to deny his claim. How could he admit your feelings so easily when it’s something you've been struggling to grasp for a month?

You wiped the crumbs off your hands onto your jeans, and maybe some nervous sweat too.

“No. I mean. He likes Jenn.” You stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, trying hard to make it seem like that fact didn’t bother you. You automatically looked down and start picking at the crumbs.

Jaemin hummed, “I asked if you like him. Not who he likes. I know who he likes.”

The last statement felt like a stab in the chest, because, of course, you do too. Mark likes your roommate, your friend since high school. That was the only reason you were sitting at this table, the only reason you were able to have this conversation with one of his best friends. If he didn’t reach out to you during your Anatomy class together about helping him get with your friend, you wouldn’t even be here in this situation right now. At first, you were honestly offended by his request. However, after seeing the charm he very much lacked, you understood why he was desperate. It was a pitiful acceptance, but you wish you never agreed. Being reminded of your purpose in his life always tore you apart because Jaemin’s assumption is right; you do like Mark.

Maybe that slight bitterness in your heart is what pushed you to confess to Jaemin, one of Mark’s friends and not the man himself. You took another quick glance at Mark to see him fumbling with his change at the vending machine to get you a drink. You couldn’t help but smile fondly at him and quickly realize how screwed you are. Jaemin followed your eyes and smiled to himself knowing he was right. It wasn’t difficult to figure out. The only person that didn’t know was Mark, and maybe Jenn.

You sighed and turned back to him, a month of feelings bursting at your lips.

“Okay, fine. I like Mark. But I swear to you, I’m not going to do anything. It literally doesn’t matter. He likes Jenn and I’m helping him pursue Jenn. I know I’m an idiot for getting my feelings tangled up in all of this, but I really care for Mark, so I’m not gonna let something as stupid as this get in the way of that. I’m gonna keep helping him and if I get to continue being his friend after they get together, great! But if our relation-friendship ends there, then that’s also fine. It-“ You hesitated, looking at the pity and confusion on Jaemin’s face. “It’s completely fine,” You said quieter, the weight of your ramble finally hitting you. You didn’t realize how pathetic this whole situation was till your thoughts left your head and were actually voiced.

Jaemin made a sound of disapproval, getting ready to speak before a can of Milkis was placed in front of your plate.

“What’d I miss?” Mark asked, swiftly sliding his body onto the bench. “I cleaned the top already,” He says, tapping your drink.

You smiled with gratitude, before quickly snapping back into wing woman mode. Like it was second nature.

“Jenn wants to catch a movie this weekend, wanna come? Maybe bring Jeno or Jaemin,” your eyes flickered to the man that just watched you word-vomit your inner thoughts. “So it’s less sus, you know?”

Mark’s eyes lit up immediately, the smile on his face lifting his cheekbones to match the pure joy in his eyes. The green in you only faltered your smile slightly. When has he ever smiled like that for me?, you thought.

“Jaem, what do you say? Wanna come?” Mark asked.

Jaemin looked at you as you avoided his eyes. He took a big bite of his food before saying, “I’d rather not.”

Mark instantly pouted and slapped Jaemin’s arms multiple times, whining that it’d be fun. Jaemin continued taking bites of his food, unfazed by Mark’s slaps and silently refusing. You giggled at the sight, but something in your stomach felt uneasy now that Jaemin knows.

Everyone continued finishing up their meals and Mark asked you about this weekend and what movies Jenn likes. You took a sip of your drink and let the carbonation burn your throat. Hopefully, your abrupt confession helps you in this predicament. Having at least one person know would be good, right?

You peered up at Jaemin and his eyes were trained strictly on you, sending goosebumps down your arms.

Maybe not.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A month has passed since your confession to Jaemin and two and a half months have passed since Operation Jump Jenn began — name courtesy of Haechan, objectively not his best work but you got outvoted. Ever since you started hanging out with Mark and helping out with his love life situation, your friend groups began to merge and you all grew extremely close. It feels like you're known the boys since birth, despite meeting only this year. Due to this and because everyone is all in on Operation Jump Jenn, a camping trip was planned together — more like “glamping” because tents were swapped for a nice cabin. The goal was to get Mark and Jenn some alone time whether it be on a hike or by the campfire. Haechan said they should go as far as making them share a bed, but he quickly earned a smack in the head from Renjun.

The crew had just arrived at the cabin this morning and scurried into the rooms they self-assigned, or should you say argued over, in the car ride up. You obviously got put with Jenn and your friend, Sumin, while the boys fought over who could sleep with Renjun. Surprisingly, Jeno came out victorious.

“Okay, I’m done! I’m gonna go help the boys figure out groceries,” Jenn got up and brushed the dust off her pants.

“Oh, you’ll need backup,” Sumin laughed and trailed after her, leaving you alone in your shared room.

You took your time unpacking just because driving partially took a lot out of you. The bed was looking extra nap-able. Your body soreness also probably came from craning your neck so much to look at Mark and Jenn in the backseat. It was torturous, but you couldn’t look away. It was like self-sabotage.

A light knock on the door caught your attention and you told the person to come in. It was Mark.

Not even trying to hide the immediate smile on your face, you got up off the floor.

“Hey, did you unpack already?”

“Haechan owes me for something, so I made him do it for me.” He sighs happily before plopping onto the bed, basking in his zero responsibilities.

You scoffed and smacked his thigh, “You’re wearing your outside clothes!” You log rolled him over to his side but he quickly positioned himself back.

“All we did was drive,” he whined. “I think our clothes should be relatively clean.” He patted the empty spot next to him. You obviously obliged.

You leaned over to him and jokingly sniffed, “Yeah, but you smell a little.”

Mark mocked offense and grabbed you by the shoulders to pull you into a tight hug, laughing evilly at your cries.

“Then get a gooood smell,” He trapped you in, shaking you around. You pretended to cough on his odor and he gasped. Mark pulled back to look at your face and you were already laughing.

He gave a light flick to your forehead, “Jerk.”

You simply smiled, shoving him away from you before the butterflies in your stomach could get even worse. You had to take a deep breath just to calm down and remind yourself of your place.

“When we have to grocery shop later, you should volunteer with Jenn. She’s already making the list so I’m sure she’ll wanna take over the shopping part as well.” With your eyes trained on the ceiling, the advice just flowed naturally out of you like always. You laid there expecting him to jump up at the idea.

Mark propped his head up with his elbow and looked at you from the side, “I’m kinda tired.”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re stupid. You gotta take every opportunity you can get. Jenn’s a little tough to break through and get to know. She’s shy, remember?” You poked his nose and he scrunched at you.

“True,” he pouted. Mark reached over to grab a strand that came loose from your bun after he practically strangled you. He gently brushed it aside and you felt your whole body freeze. Two attacks in one day? Your poor heart.

You cleared your throat and shot up. You grabbed his hand and yanked him with you, to which he instantly groaned.

“C’monnn, let’s goooo,” you pleaded, shaking his arm. “I don’t have the energy to pull you up.”

He used both hands to grab your arm and pulled himself up, leaving you both face to face. You instantly took a step back, frazzled once again. Mark was never good at hiding his facial expressions. It was what made getting close to him so easy. You felt like you could read his mind, and sometimes you dive deeper than he expects. He looked at you a little confused by your distance and you simply gave his arm a squeeze, not wanting to look too suspicious. He smiled.

Mark naturally wrapped his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer and walked the two of you out of the room, “Let’s gooo.”

If he could read you the way you read him, you're sure he’d push you away.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Scrubbing hard at the dishes, you cursed myself for being so bad at rock, paper, scissors. Yes, it’s a game of luck, but you must have the worst luck in the world to always lose to Lee Haechan. You could hear him snickering at the dining table behind you, smacking on the marshmallows they were about to roast.

“Haechan! Stop snacking and bring those outside,” Jaemin snapped, coming in to bring in more dishes from dinner.

“Yessir!” Haechan mocked a salute and scrambled outside to where Mark and Jenn were setting up the campfire. Jeno and Sumin were looking for more firewood and Renjun went to take a post-dinner nap.

Jaemin bumped you with his hip, scooting you over as he started rinsing your dishes.

“You’re helping?” you asked, shocked that someone would willingly wash dishes.

“Should I stop?” He smiles, threatening to let go of the plate.

“No! No. No. I appreciate the help.”

Jaemin laughs, “That’s what I thought.”

You both stand there quietly washing what felt like millions of dishes. Spending time alone with Jaemin was never uncomfortable, but there were always moments when your mind gets in the way and you think about what he knows.

It’s like he can read your thoughts because he suddenly asks, “Is this trip gonna be okay for you?“

Suddenly hyper-focused on the crust of the pan, you didn’t dare make eye contact with him.

“What do you mean?”

Jaemin takes the pan from you and starts scrubbing himself. You instantly occupy yourself with another dish.

He sighs, “I mean, usually when we set the two up, we’re never actually there to witness how it goes. It must suck to watch them laugh and be happy like that.” His words burn.

You hiss at the realization and almost drop the cup you were gripping. Jaemin tuts and grabs the cup from your hand. His hand on your wrist is tight, begging you to look up. You chew on your inner cheek, hesitantly lifting your eyes to match his.

“It’s only the first day, but we have a whole week. If you ever need to get away from all of this, you find me, okay?” The brown in his eyes is warm and inviting, and his facial structures soften when he’s talking to you. He’s chewing on his bottom lip and you could see how nervous he is for you. You slowly release his grip from your wrist and you hold his hand lightly.

“Thank you, Jaem. But I’ll be okay. I’ve made it this far,” You meekly smile. Your eyes darted to the side of his face to look outside the window where Jenn is throwing marshmallows up in the air for Mark to catch. He looks so happy. Maybe even in love. And that look wasn’t for you. The ache in your chest returns and you hope Jaemin doesn’t catch on. You don’t know what it is that made you so sensitive in this moment, but your vision blurred slightly with tears.

“You sure about that?” He teases, wiping the tear that managed to slip.

“You’re gonna get soap in my eyes,” you scowl, but laugh at how pathetic you're being. He gently blows the suds off your face and you could feel them being replaced with a peachy rose tint on your cheeks.

“C’mon, let’s hurry. They’re gonna eat all the marshmallows and your terrible scrubbing is slowing me down. Jesus, Y/N, I’m finding so many missed food spots.”

Your jaw dropped and you scrubbed harder, “It’s dark in here and my arms are tired from driving! Leave me alone.”

Jaemin looks at you from his peripheral to see you practically scrubbing the varnish off the plates and he smiles. He hopes you'll be okay, but also a part of him hopes you'll seek comfort in him if needed. Was that too much or too selfish to wish for?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

For the rest of the glamping days, you're unintentionally glued to Jaemin’s side. Every activity planned for this trip ended up with you being paired up with him: paddle boarding, hiking, cliff jumping, grilling, and so on. Every partner assignment was decided by rock, paper, scissors, and somehow the two of you kept doing the same one. Some would say it's fate, but Jaemin would call it cheating. He was lucky that Renjun hasn’t caught him changing his hands last minute to copy yours. Truth be told, Jeno noticed a while ago, but decided to let his best friend have his fun.

The universe likes to play its games too. And that’s how you ended up being partnered with Mark for canoeing. You almost fought it till you saw how happy Jenn was to canoe with Sumin. Mark simply shrugged and grabbed two life vests for you guys.

He offered to strap it in for you and you were looking at everything but his face. Unfortunately, you could still feel the steady rhythm of his breath catching up to the racing of your heart.

“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in ages,” Mark said to break the ice. It was true though. Your wing woman duties on this trip were basically minimal as the group joined efforts to get the two together at all costs. It took a lot off of you and you were happily distracted by Jaemin.

“I bet you got a lot of talking done with Jenn though.” you gave him a closed mouth smile, trying to find the positives of your distance, for his sake and yours.

Mark looked at you with anything but happiness. Shouldn’t he be happy? At this rate, Jenn and he are close to making it official.

“I just missed you,” Mark stated like he was releasing air from his lungs. You had your shield up and you were ready to combat it with another sentence about how well his love life is looking. But you saw the look in his eyes and the way his body looked defeated. You tightened the strap on his life jacket and patted over his heart.

“I missed you too,” you replied. It was something you weren't letting yourself admit this entire week. Like fireworks, a smile instantly erupted on his face and he grabbed your hands from his straps, giving your palm a swift kiss before dragging you to your boat.

Your insides screamed at his gesture and your legs failed to move as you stumbled after him. It was like you were in a Mark drought and he was the single drop of water you needed to beg for more.

The remaining of the afternoon was spent paddling in circles and laughing till your throats were dry at your horrible rowing skills. An oar was even lost in the process. Mark also clumsily fell in while trying to reach for a duck. Being the good person you are, you jumped in after him so he wasn’t alone. Admittedly, it looked more fun than sitting in one place on the canoe.

Mark cackled at the life jacket forcing you to bob up and down in the water, making you look like a little kid drowning.

“You look so stupid,” he says in the middle of laughing, accidentally swallowing some lake water.

“Jerk!” you splashed him and he’s sputtering, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. His jaw drops when he realized what you did and he looks at you so seriously. Your hands are ready to splash him again and the water fight begins. You're hurling water toward each other for a good five minutes before he concedes, whining about potentially losing a contact.

You swim towards him, grabbing his face to check his eyes. His contacts were very clearly still intact. You're about to call him out for lying when he suddenly spits water onto your face.

“Marcus Lee.” you threaten him, still holding onto his face. Your eyes are shut in disgust.

You wipe the water off your face and open your eyes to see him grinning evilly.

“That’s not even my name,” Mark giggles.

“‘Mark Lee’ doesn’t have the same impact,” you shrug, moving your hands to his shoulders to stay afloat.

He smiles fondly, holding onto your elbows lightly. The feeling in his chest felt as good as the sun resting on his backside. The warmth of the sunset reflected off your lake-soaked cheeks, plump from laughing, and something stirred in his chest. Something a little too similar to the feeling he was forcing when he was with Jenn. It was the feeling Mark had wished he felt when with her.

Scared of this new emotion, he let go of you and scrambled to climb back into the canoe. He quickly mumbled about wanting to get back before it got dark. You floated there a little confused by his urgency, but followed suit anyways. He tossed you a towel and out of nowhere gained the skills of a professional rower and got you back to the shore in no time. Without even looking back, he trudged towards the cabin, leaving you with the setting sun, cold and confused.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“So he just left you there?” Renjun asks, scrolling through Netflix to pick a show to watch. It was just the two of you since the rest were too tired from today’s activities.

“Mhmm. It was so weird.”

“I can check up on him in the morning since he’s asleep now. But he probably just had the shits. You know Mark.” He finally settled on an episode of New Girl.

You took a sip of your hot cocoa and pondered the chances. “Mmm true.”

Renjun laughs at your agreement and grabbed a blanket for the both of you.

“But you both had fun, right?” He asks, not really paying attention to the show at all. It seemed like he just wanted to talk and you were fine with that.

“Yeah, I mean we didn’t spend much time together this trip which is pretty rare for us. But you know, The Operation takes priority,” you took another sip to clear the knot that suddenly formed in your throat.

“You probably missed him a loooot, huh?” Renjun hid his smirk behind the mug.

“A normal amount… what are you grabbing at?“ you narrowed your eyes at him and leaned back, surveying his body language. He looked like he was holding something in.

“Oh my god,” he bursts. “Can you just tell me already?” He sets his cup down and grabs your forearms.

“Huh? Tell you what?” Where is this coming from?, you think. You set your cup down too out of precaution.

“I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know you like him, so I need you to confirm it so we can talk freely,” he waved his hands in the air like he was a therapist trying to get you to spill. You almost laughed at how ridiculous he looked.

Your hand slapped against his mouth and you did a quick look around the room. No peeping heads.

“How did you figure it out?“ you whisper-screamed. You could feel the very foundation of Mark's and your friendship crumble.

“Imph phnot phstupidmph,” He muffles out.

“Huh?” You question stupidly and he glares at you, sharply pointing at your hand. “Oh, duh.”

Renjun clears his throat, “I said I’m not stupid. And considering how much time Jaemin has been spending with you, I’m guessing he knows too.” You look at the wall behind his head, feeling guilty.

“I don’t know why you would tell him before me though. We were lab buddies first before you met Jaemin. Not fair, Y/N.” He huffs, crossing his arms. If the security of your love life wasn’t falling apart at this very moment, you would’ve found him endearing.

“Do you think anyone else has figured it out?” you ask.

“No, I’m like the only smart one,” Renjun scoffs.

“Wrong!” A voice booms from the hallway. Haechan walks in yawning, fully decked out in a matching set of pajamas. He takes a swig from Renjun’s hot cocoa, earning him a smack.

He sits down to your right and smiles, “I found out like 2 weeks after you and Mark met.”

“Damn, you found out before Jaemin did,” You admitted. Not even shocked or worried that a third person knows, You sat there dumbfounded.

“Yesss!” Haechan pumps the air and proceeds to take another sip but this time from your cup. You tsked and gave him a flick before grabbing your mug back.

“Okay, so now what?” Renjun asks like there was more to this.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What do you mean ‘now what’?”

Haechan doesn’t even look surprised but Renjun is staring at you like you offended him.

“You’re just… not gonna do anything? Ignore your feelings?” Haechan nodded along with Renjun’s questioning. The angel and the devil on your shoulders, or should I say devil and devil.

“Renjunie, that’s what I’ve been doing, I don’t know if you’ve noticed. I’m the wing woman. I’d be betraying my duty.” You said this like a mantra, a mantra you're been telling yourself for the past few months.

“What about the duty to your heart?”

“Gross,” Haechan chimes in. It earned a scrunch of your nose and a weird look.

“I regretted it the minute I said it,” Renjun slouches defeatedly.

“Look, I appreciate the concern. Jaemin gives me these talks all the time, and trust me, it won’t change my mind. I love Mark too much to get in the way of his happiness. And all for what? Because I have these feelings? That’s ridiculous.”

Haechan and Renjun looked at you with even more pity in their eyes, which is more than you usually see from Jaemin.

“What?”

“It’s worse than I thought,” Haechan whispers.

“You love him.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

On the morning of the last day, you notice Mark is avoiding you at all costs. He’s even avoiding Jenn. Everyone was packing up the car and he completely took over, not letting anyone touch the luggage or the car. You tugged Renjun to the side to ask what was up and he simply shrugged, saying he doesn’t know what was going on.

When you all make your first pitstop, You and Jaemin are buying snacks for the group. You see Mark staying in the driver’s seat, claiming that he can go the whole way. Both of you give each other concerned looks and Jaemin says he has an idea.

His idea ended up being you switching places with Haechan to sit in the passenger seat, much to his complaints about getting car sick. He does not get motion sick, by the way, especially as the man who has ridden all the rides at Six Flags not once, but twice in one day.

The only time Mark looks at you is to see you climb into the passenger seat. From then on, his grip on the wheel is tight and his eyes are trained on the road. You even offer to do directions for him, but he immediately declines. His cold behavior leaves a weird feeling blooming in your chest and you almost feel sick, regretting the decision to buy a gas station hot dog.

A few hours passed and Haechan and Renjun are knocked out from their endless karaoke and the rest of them followed suit after finally getting some peace and quiet.

“Hey,” you whisper to Mark. “Mark.”

His eyebrows perk up, maybe not expecting you to initiate conversation. “What’s up?”

“Are you good?”

He nervously twists his hands around the wheel. “Yeah, dude. I’m fine.”

You looked him up and down, not believing him at all. “Then are we good?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” He says with a hint of offense. You grip the sleeves of your hoodie a little tighter. He’s never talked to you this way.

“I-I don’t know. You just seem a little off today, that’s all.” You half confessed. He’s more than just a little off. His behavior was making the air tense and you wished Jaemin didn’t convince you to take the front seat. You chose to stare out the window instead.

“Y/N, there’s nothing wrong. I’m just missing my space, okay?” Mark says sternly, giving you the affirmative sign to leave him alone. Tears instantly prick the corner of your eyes at his tone. Mark has always been a cheerful presence in your life so for these words to be spat at you like this… It felt horrible. It felt like his bad mood was your fault. You tug the hood of your jacket up further and you turned away from him even more, not wanting to make it worse.

“Sounds good,” you managed to mutter, popping in your headphones so you didn’t have to hear any more from him.

Mark spares a glance at you and his eyes instantly soften. Something in his chest twists at the way you're turned away from him, in his favorite hoodie. Jaemin is looking from the seat behind; he’s been watching. He sighs and reminds himself to switch places with you at the next pitstop.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Finals season hits the minute you all get back from your trip and the only time your group meets up is to study in the library. Mark, who is usually a huge advocate for group studies, is suddenly a solo studier. You haven’t seen him in a week and when you sought out Jenn, she reports the same thing.

Thankfully and unfortunately, your finals were extra rough this semester and you essentially had no time to worry about him. Occasionally, you'd send him texts with your class notes to check up on him, but all you'd get in response is a simple thumbs up.

Jaemin decided to change the scenery and study at a cafe near campus. He had two more exams left, but you only had one so you were definitely more relaxed than he was. You ordered a slice of cake and a pastry and munched away as he tackled his workload. You occasionally fed him bites here and there.

An hour into the study session, the food settled in your stomach as well as the repressed feelings about Mark. You twirled your straw as you stared at Jaemin typing, trying to decide if now was a good time to bother him.

“You’re staring,” He says, continuing to type.

“Yup.” you say, popping your lips.

“Is my handsomeness not blinding?” He smirks, eyes still on his screen. He wiggles his eyebrows teasingly.

You gag and shove a spoon of cake into his mouth. “Nevermind, no more talking. I don’t wanna throw up the food I paid for.”

He laughs and finally lifts his hands off the keyboard. Jaemin takes a sip of his deadly concoction with eight shots of espresso to wash down the cake and raises his eyebrows.

“You can ask, you know?”

You roll your lips in and tap at the table, suddenly too shy to ask.

“Okay, then I’ll just assume and answer. Mark is… weird. Mark’s not really acting like himself right now if I’m being completely honest,” Jaemin admits. He’s lazily poking his ice with the straw, waiting to see your reaction.

“Hmm,” you pretend to ponder his words, suddenly struck with worry. Even though you're still hurt by his actions from the ride back and his sudden desire to avoid you for a week, you can’t help but care. It was almost annoying how much you want to text him, despite his lack of interest in you. It annoyed Jaemin more.

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

Your eyes perked up, shocked by Jaemin’s change in tone.

“He dismissed you on the car ride back. He’s ignored you this entire week. He doesn’t even say thank you when you send him your notes. Why-” He shakes his head, aggravated. “Why are you still worrying about him?”

“Jaemin… you know why.”

“Listen, I love Mark like a brother. But he doesn’t deserve you. You’ve done so much for him with this whole Jenn situation, it’s just not fair to you.” Jaemin says this so seriously, you feel frozen in my spot. You’ve probably heard these words leave his mouth a million times, but today it felt different. His words weighed differently.

“I don’t know what else to do, Jaemin. This is the only thing I can do. It’s the only thing I know how to do.”

“He’s not even appreciative of it!” Jaemin pushes further, growing more desperate to have you hear his words, praying they stick this time. “You don’t need to put yourself through this for his sake.”

You're flattening a piece of the cake with a fork as you actually consider his words. With Mark distancing himself, your mind feels a little clearer, more room for thoughts.

“I wouldn’t be friends with him in the first place if I didn’t agree to be his wing woman. It’s why I’m in his life in the first place. I’m… I’m too scared to risk it.”

Jaemin decides he’s had enough and shuts his laptop, too angry to work. “You’re an idiot if you think he’s only keeping you around because you’re close to Jenn. Why do you value yourself so little? Do you think we’re just friends because we’re both in Operation Jump Jenn? No, Y/N. We’re friends because I like you.”

Jaemin sucks in his breath, at his poor word choice; he looks like he’s in pain. If only she knew I meant it differently, he thinks to himself.

He continues, “So why would Mark, after all this time, not think of you as more than just a wing woman?”

The area around your eyes sting and you could feel yourself fighting back tears. Your lips tremble, choking back a sob. Jaemin’s eyes widen and his hands twitch wanting to hold yours, but he pulls himself back.

“I still can’t tell him. Things won’t be the same.”

The look of pity Jaemin usually gives you is replaced by frustration, and maybe some disappointment. You fidget under his stare, tightly wrapping your arms around your waist. He shakes his head.

“Mark doesn’t deserve you if he leaves you after finding out how you feel. You really think he’d do that? Do you think that lowly of him?” He rests his hands on the table and he looks at you, urging you to try to defend yourself. But his words sink deeper. He’s right, do you really think that lowly of Mark?

You sighed in defeat and in exhaustion. You were at a loss for words, having your thoughts psychoanalyzed in front of you. You don’t think lowly of Mark at all. Shouldn’t you have more faith in him? In us?, you think.

“Why do you have to be so smart?” you glare at Jaemin. He immediately relaxes, smiling in return. He was staring at you for so long, trying to figure out what was going on inside your brain. He was on the edge of his seat, terrified that you'd drop him for his candor. Or that you caught on to his little confession.

He shrugs in response, “Pre-med.”

“You’re annoying,” you laugh, giving his foot a kick. Jaemin laughs with you and opens up his laptop again. You both work for another minute before he stops to look up at you again.

“Hey. I’m sorry if I went too far.” Instead of grabbing your hand, he traps one of your legs with his two. He swings it back and forth with a pout on his face, begging for you two to be okay.

“No, no, I needed that. Thank you for looking out for me.” Your chest warms, knowing that you have someone as lovely as Na Jaemin on your side.

You lean forward and pinch his cheek, “How’d I get so lucky with a friend like you?”

His face falters for a second before snapping back into a smile. He playfully licks your hand and you pull it back in disgust.

“You got me for life unfortunately.”

“Mmm, unfortunately,” you fake pout.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

After your talk with Jaemin, it took you embarrassingly two days to figure out what to do next. Mark still isn’t talking to you and as much as it pains you, it’s actually given you the space to think. You finally decided to do something you should’ve done months ago.

“Do you like Mark?”

Jenn chokes on her sandwich and you scramble to hand her a glass of water, patting her shoulder lightly. Maybe you should’ve timed that better.

“Huh?” There was something swirling around in Jenn’s eyes. Confusion. Pure confusion. It was not what you expected at all.

“I don’t know, do you like Mark?” you repeated, bracing yourself for her answer.

She looked at you and did a quick once over. Jenn realized you were serious and brushed the crumbs off her hands before settling in her lap.

“Mark’s cool. He talks a lot. The only reason we hang or talk is because of you and the boys. That’s kind of what it feels like for me and Mark. I don’t know… sometimes his behavior towards me feels forced. I thought he was just acting this way because I’m your best friend.” She took a sip, looking up and thinking about what more she could say about Mark Lee.

“Wait. What do you mean by that?” The pit in your stomach appears. Did she figure out The Operation?

“Isn’t he just getting on good terms with me because he likes you? I don’t like him, by the way.” Jenn let those words flow out of her mouth as if it was the only thing to say. Like this is how she felt for months.

“Huh?!” It was your turn to be confused. Never in your friendship with Mark have you considered your feelings being returned. You also never expected it to be implied by the person Mark is literally crushing on.

“Wait. Was that not obvious? Every time Mark and I hung out, it just felt… like he was looking for something in me. It was strange. I just assumed it was because he wanted to look good in your eyes like ‘Hey! I’m buddy buddy with the bestie of my crush!’” She waved her fork in the air as she spoke and finally stabbed it into a potato wedge for a bite.

“This is insane.” you sat there, appetite gone. Jenn never reciprocated feelings towards Mark. Jenn thought Mark liked me?, you thought. It felt like your efforts and feelings from the past few months were tumbling down. You were a step away from a spiral.

“What’s insane is that you thought I liked Mark. Don’t you like him?”

You suddenly started choking on your spit and Jenn was quick to hand you a glass of water.

For the rest of the meal, you explained everything to Jenn. From Mark approaching you in class, Haechan coming up with the horrible operation name (to which she gagged), and Jaemin’s talk with you from the other day. She was taken completely by surprise. To be fair, Jenn has always been pretty and has had people of all genders try their hand at flirting with her. She’s always been numb to it, so it’s not surprising that Mark and his loser-like charm didn’t come across as romantic. You use the word ‘loser’ in the nicest way.

At the end of it all, Jenn is furious.

“I can’t believe he’s ignoring you. And for no reason? After all you did for him? Albeit, it didn’t work, and I hope you never try to set anyone else up with me ever again.” At that, you gave her a guilty smile and offered to buy her boba.

“Deal. Anyways, that’s fucking ridiculous. What’s his problem?”

“I don’t know,” you said, picking at your fries. “He asked for space so I’m just gonna give it to him.”

Jenn nods and you avoid her pity stares.

“Jenn… I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I lose him, even as a friend. I-I really like him and I’m so so scared. Like the only two ways I can see this going is him continuing to ignore me and we drift or… or I listen to Jaemin and be honest with him about how I feel. And then he decides to stop being friends with me.”

“Okay, the second one is bullshit. You know Mark wouldn’t do that. He’d freak out, yeah, but he wouldn’t cut you off for that.” She scolds you, before taking another bite of your fries.

“I know. I knooow. But it’s still a fear I have. I’m telling you I’d rather be his friend and make a permanent home in this one sided love affair if it means I can still be in his life. That’s how insane my mind is.” You plop your head in your hands and let out what felt like a four-month-long repressed groan.

“Y/N. You are probably the worst person for yourself.” Jenn clicks her teeth before hand-feeding you a fry, which you sadly munch on.

You sigh, “Yeah…”

“Yeah,” Jenn winces, before pulling you in for a hug.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Mark Lee is spiraling.

“No because when she looked at me when we were out on that lake, I swear my heart was on steroids. I felt like my whole body was covered in tiny hearts and they were all beating at the same time. It was insane.”

“Uh huh,” Haechan mutters another one word response for what felt like the hundredth time today. He flipped through another page of the magazine before tossing it and reaching for Mark’s Nintendo switch. He shook it in Mark’s face as he paced back and forth.

“Huh? Oh yeah, go for it. Anyways, and when we drove home that day, dude, you should’ve seen the look on her face. I hurt her so bad, but it was like my body was on auto-pilot. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Like my brain and my heart were so confused. Because I like Jenn. I like Jenn, right? But why don’t I get those tiny hearts with her?”

“I don’t know, man. Damn, I can’t catch this stupid spider.” Haechan curses, twiddling his thumb on the remote trying to find joy in Animal Crossing.

“And now I’m not talking to both of them. But it doesn’t feel like I’m avoiding Jenn, but I can feel that I’m avoiding Y/N and it’s killing me.”

“Then. Talk. To. Her.” Haechan enunciates every time he hits a button on the switch.

“Who?” Mark asks, dumbfounded. Mark has had this same exact conversation with Haechan at least twice a day for the past week. If he wasn’t studying, he was bribing Haechan with food to come to his apartment to ramble.

“Stupid spider,” Haechan slams the game on the couch cushion. “And stupid you. How many times do you have to circle around these same thoughts before you figure it out? Do I really have to say it, Mark? I’m trying to save you the embarrassment of admitting something so obvious.” He leans back, crossing his arms to assert some dominance in this situation. It’s ridiculous how many times Haechan has been tricked by food and games to be trapped in Mark’s apartment for the second time today.

Mark just blinks, mouth slightly agape.

Haechan tilts his head, poking his cheek with his tongue. He raises his eyebrows, urging him to think just a little harder.

Mark finally looks up, as if a new thought crossed his mind. He gasps softly.

He covers his mouth as he mumbles, “No way…”

Haechan rolls his eyes at his dramatics, “Yes way.”

Mark pokes himself hard in the chest, “Do I like Y/N?”

“And he figures it out!” Haechan sarcastically cheers, clapping his hands. “Now can you buy me some actual food please?”

“No no no. Sit down. Because now we need to discuss this.” Mark starts pulling at his hair, even more stressed out than he was before.

“Oh my GOD,” Haechan screams. “What is there to discuss? You like her! Go tell her!”

Mark’s eyes bugged out as if Haechan turned into a mythical being. “Are you insane? No, scratch that. Am I insane? I started talking to her because I liked her best friend. I asked her to help me get close to her best friend. Our entire relationship is essentially built on this crush and you want me to tell her that I like her? Oh god, she has to hate me. She definitely hates me.”

Mark stopped pacing and dropped to the ground in a squat. He’s full-on gripping his hair and Haechan is just watching. He forgot that Mark technically doesn’t know she likes him back and he pities him for a second before thinking he’s stupid again for not noticing. Everyone noticed.

Mark finally raises his head and his face is left with tear trails. Haechan gets up immediately and wraps his arms around Mark’s shoulders.

“Oh, Marky,” Haechan sighs.

“Shit.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Mark (anatomy): hello!

Mark (anatomy): hi

Mark (anatomy): hey

Mark (anatomy): oh God sorry. I didn’t know which one to send and i accidentally sent them all

Mark (anatomy): HAHAHAH uhhh…

Mark (anatomy): can we talk? I wanna apologize in person.

You couldn’t help but laugh rereading Mark’s texts from this morning as you waited for him at the park. It took you an hour on your own and a 30-minute encouragement session with Jenn to work the confidence to agree to meet him. As nervous as you were to hear what he has to say, you missed him most of all and just wanted to see him. You sat on the second swing on the right, the same one you sat in when the two of you met outside of class the first time.

“Y/N?”

“Oh! Hi,” You got up from the swing to greet him, feeling a bit awkward. You could sense he felt weird too.

You and Mark are simply classmates. You've been paired up in group projects a couple of times in class and when you see each other on campus, you both timidly wave. But most of the time, you're staring at the back of his head in class, wondering what it’d be like to sit next to him and talk.

So when he asked for your number and texted to meet at the park, your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your chest. Could he see you boring holes into his head or does he look at you the same way?

You wiped your hands on your dress and clasped them in front of you as he stood in his spot, about two feet away.

Why did I wear a dress?, you thought. This is so embarrassing. I look like I’m dressed for a date.

“You look nice,” He says, smiling to break the ice and simultaneously ridding you of your fashion doubts.

“Oh. Thanks,” you force a laugh, also trying to break the ice. “Um, why did you ask me to meet at a park?”

His eyes lit up and he chuckled, “I thought it’d be a good place for some scheming. You know, like in the movies.”

You blinked a few times, not quite catching on. “Scheming?”

He took the swing next to you and sat down. You copied his actions, twisting to look at him. He kicked up to catch some air and swung slightly.

“Okay, this is going to be weird, because I know you barely know me.” Not true, I thought. “But I wanted to ask you a favor. Half of my friends think I’m a dick for this and the other half say that you look understanding, so maybe I should give it a shot. Jaemin was super against it though, so I feel like I’m about to pee my pants right now. I thought about it for like two days and decided, you know what? It wouldn’t hurt to see how you felt, so here I am.” He used his feet as breaks as he finished his ramble to look at you, to seriously look at you.

Your grip on the swings tightens and you can smell the rust smearing on your palms. You can’t believe you get to see your crush this close to your face and he wants to ask you a favor. Your chest feels bubbly with anticipation. You nod, asking him to continue.

“I like Jenn.” The bubbles pop.

“O-oh,” you say. Your mouth has gone completely dry and the wind picked up to blow strands in your face. You quickly brush them away and swallow.

“You… you like my Jenn?” I tightly tuck the strands behind your ears, trying to compose yourself. He giggles and picks up a loose one to help. Mark Lee, what are you doing to me?, you think.

“Yeah. I wanna get closer to her and I know you guys are friends.”

“Best friends,” you clarify, hesitantly.

“Right, right. I know this is insane and I’m like completely using you. So feel free to say no to helping me. You can probably see how desperate I am, but I also can take rejection pretty well! I think.” He tousled his hair with his hand and reoriented himself.

Clearing his throat, Mark admits, “I’m not… I’m not the best with girls. My game is off completely and I think I really like Jenn. So I thought I’d try. I wanna try. I just don’t know where to start. So I’m sorry if I’m going the wrong way about this or if I offended you.” He huffs. The boy-next-door charm you always see him carry around campus fades and he looks defeated. Despite the slight crack I feel in your heart, it swelled looking into his eyes. He must really like her.

“I’ll help you.”

Mark perked up, his whole body shaking the swingset. “What? Really?” His toothy grin returns and your heart lurches knowing it was partly because of you.

You nod, “Mhm. You seem nice, I think Jenn would like you.” I like you, you thought.

He gets up and tackles you on the swings with a hug. You fall backward and he quickly catches the back of your head before it hits the ground, eyes wide in fear.

“Oh my god, I almost killed you,” he laughs in disbelief. You’re gonna be the death of me, Mark Lee.

“Y/N!”

You almost drop your phone, looking up to meet the eyes of the boy that avoided you for almost two weeks. You thought you'd be overcome with anger, but you weren't. Instead, you felt exactly the same way you felt the first day at the park. Nervous.

“Hey,” you smiled slightly, not getting up from your spot. Mark falters slightly noticing your cold front. He stumbles on the woodchips as he walks over to the swing next to you.

You two swing slightly in silence and you're beating yourself up in your head for not having the courage to curse him out. Jenn prepared you to go off on him and you can’t even open your mouth, you whine to yourself. The more you two sit here, honestly, the angrier you get. Shouldn’t he be saying something? He called you out here in the first place. Before you could utter a word, Mark finally clears his throat.

“I’m sorry.”

You lift your head to look at him, the first look at him since you took some time apart, and your heart already races when you meet his eyes. You know you're doomed when all the anger suddenly dissipates. You almost want to laugh at how silly this situation is. You still don’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“You’re probably confused as to why I’ve been avoiding you. At first, I didn’t know why either. And I know that ignoring you without telling you why wasn’t the move, but it helped me figure it out.” He broke eye contact with you and he started to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks frustrated.

“I did it because I was scared. I was scared because I don’t like Jenn anymore. I’m starting to think I never did.” Mark confesses and he looks upset with himself. You get a good look at his face and you notice the eyebags, the pallor, and his chapped lips. He looks exhausted. You wonder if you look the same.

He sniffles. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I literally put you through all of this just for me to realize I don’t even like her. I used you. And I feel selfish because I still want you in my life.”

“Mark…,” you finally speak, your throat feels rough as if it’s been days. “I have to tell you something.” Your voice came out like a whisper, but it was all the strength you had.

He looks up, a signal to continue.

“As shitty as it was for you to ignore me for over a week, it let me do some thinking too,” you sigh, not wanting to say what comes next. “I don’t think we can be friends right now. And-and don’t worry, it’s not because of the whole 'you befriending me for Jenn' thing. I don’t want you to feel guilty for that because I honestly feel so grateful to have been your friend. I hope, I guess, you feel the same way. But, uh, it’s actually because… it’s because I like you, Mark.”

His jaw drops slightly and his eyes widen, almost like he forgot how to function. It was almost cartoon-like.

“Yeah,” you awkwardly laugh. “I’ve actually liked you from the start, and I’m not saying that to make you feel guilty. I just thought you should know — to help you understand. Anyways, I realized how hard it is for me to be friends with you when I have these feelings for you. It wouldn’t be fair to me, and I’d be dishonest to you if I continued being friends with you under the guise of purely platonic intentions, you know? I really, really hope you understand.”

You let out a breath, half relieved and half anxious. After rehearsing that a few times with Jenn, you didn’t expect the words to come out so smoothly. Especially when he’s staring at you like this. However, your pride fades as you wait for his response, a response that determines the future of your relationship.

“I don’t understand,” Mark says firmly. He’s shaking his head trying to wrap his mind around all of it. It feels like a rejection.

“Mark,” you whine, not wanting him to finish his thought -- to spare yourself the awaited pain.

“No, I don’t understand because… because I like you too.”

Heat immediately flushed throughout your chest as you heard the three words you never expected to come out of Mark’s mouth. Your mouth is itching to smile, but a part of you feels doubtful still, weighing down the corners of your lips.

“Are-are you sure? Like are you sure your mind isn’t tricking you into thinking you like me because you realized you don’t like Jenn?” You lean in, close to falling off the swings. You look at him with so much seriousness, but he meets you with a giggle.

“If my mind was tricking me, it’s awfully persistent. I think… in trying to get Jenn to like me, I started to fall for you,” Mark says as if he’s putting the last piece of the puzzle down.

“The image I had of Jenn wasn’t what I expected and I think, while in denial, I was forcing it onto her. I was trying so hard to have real feelings for her, but I think I was also still trying because it meant I got to be with you. Our friendship was contingent on me getting with Jenn, so I guess I was subconsciously scared of losing us… But at the same time, deep down, I wanted more than just a friendship with you.”

Mark looks at you and he offers the widest smile like he found his answer. A smile that ignites the fuzzy fire in your body even more. Your heart is racing so loud you can’t even hear your thoughts.

“Marcus Lee, I didn’t know you had those words in you,” you giggle, trying to soften the conversation.

He shrugs, “Dude, I didn’t think I did either. I just really like you, Y/N. And to be honest, Haechan helped a little.”

As quickly as the happiness came, it washed away just as fast. No matter how ecstatic you were to hear Mark say he likes you back, you couldn’t stop the disgusting doubt that lingered in your mind. You’ve always been in wing woman mode around him, and trying to imagine another scenario where you're the girl he wants is harder than you thought.

“Mark?” you turned to look at him.

“Yeah?” He looks at me with a different light in his eyes.

“I want to believe you, but... I can’t. I can’t really wrap my head around it, I’m sorry.” you clasp your hands together out of nerves.

He dims only a little, “No, I get it." He nods as if gathering the courage to say what's next.

"I can see how it’d be hard to believe. But I’ll prove it to you…

I won’t let you doubt my feelings.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A/N: ahhh thanks for reading if you did!!! the only proofreading i did was to change from first person to second person. sorry about the mistakes but thank you for enjoying it if you did <3

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acc3pt4nce · 1 year

Text

choose, assume, persist. - a guide

first: decide whatever you want to manifest.

think– what do you truly desire deep down inside of you? for example: when manifesting a sp, are they truly what you want? when imagining the perfect sp do you envision them? or do you imagine someone else?

second: decide you have it.

this is the part that most people struggle with, but you can actually have fun with it. all you have to do is assume and accept that you have whatever it is that you desire. you want that house? assume you're living in it. you want that ugly ass boy? assume you're dating him? you wish ur english teacher would stfu? assume she's not annoying asl.

feel that you have what you want. this is when methods come in. methods are only for sustaining the feeling of the wish fulfilled (i'll go more into depth further in this post about this.) the most popular methods are affirming, visualizing, scripting, inner conversations, etc! this is the fun part, visualize whatever you want, hear whatever you want, feel whatever you want. you are, of course, not obligated to use methods and can just simply assume what you want is yours and move on. all you have to do is decide "i have _" or "i am _!"

third: persist in your assumption

persist in your assumption that you have whatever it is you desire in imagination. this means to continue to accept whatever you desire as yours. i suggest that whenever the thought of your desire pops inside your head you shift back to the state of the wish fulfilled. you dont have to think about it every single second of the day but i suggest once or twice a day.

now.. what is this feeling/state of the wish fulfilled stuff?

"When I speak of of feeling (feeling of wish fulfilled) I do not mean emotion, but the acceptance of the fact that it is fulfilled." - Neville Goddard

i absolutely adore this quote by neville and it simplifies tfotwf (the feeling of the wish fulfilled) so perfectly. when we talk about "feeling" in loass we don't mean emotion, we mean knowing. knowing = acceptance = belief. we mean the knowing that your desire is yours in imagination. all you have to do is decide "it is mine" or, once again, use methods.

to understand the state of the wish fulfilled you first need to understand states. a state is a mindset comes from assuming a new belief. now, the state of the wish fulfilled is just the state of your desire being yours. you reach this state by accepting and assuming your desire as yours.

so.. how does this stuff manifest?

the 3d is a mirror of the 4d, this meaning you have to change the 4d to change your 3d. your 4d meaning consciousness, imagination, the inner man and the 3d is the external world. what you see when you open your eyes. i've heard this example about 100 times and i love it sm: when getting dressed and you put on a shirt and you don't like it, would you try to change the mirror or change yourself into a different shirt? your shirt ofc! imagination is the real reality. imagination creates.

Your assumption, though false in the sense that it is denied by your senses and reason, if persisted in will harden into fact in such a normal, natural way that you will think it would have happened anyway. - Neville Goddard

dont place your focus on the 3d. dont check for proof expecting the opposite right after you accepted that you have what you want. instead, live your life in the 4d, experiencing whatever you'd like.

loll this was my first real post .. i'm not the best writer but i think i got most of my thoughts out! my faveee loass bloggers on here are nakedbibi333 sexynhedonistic - sexydreamgirl 0t0mie piercedblunt ella nd my favee twitter accs inbarbad0s (i absoluetly adore her sfmm.. her posts are so perfect plz check her out) stuckinthe4d visualdior (love her threads & her website) aliamanifests (shes on here too) scarlet anddd angel

fave guide love how easy it is to digest because the law is easy asl.. LMFAOO alright check out my twt for more rt's , if u have any questions use my askbox and yeah!

#loass #loassumption #law of assumption #manifesation #loassblog #master manifestor #neville goddard #acc3pt4nce

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kiztae · 1 year

Text

give you everything ― k.taehyun x f.reader

word count: 1,9k.

genre: best friends to lovers, love triangle (sort of), angst, suggestive.

summary: when your ex-best friend gets drunk at a party, you take care of him. however, past memories and feelings come back and things take a turn.

cw: metions of alcohol consumption, slightly under the influence, making out, marking, grinding.

note: my first work and first post on tumblr, hope you enjoy it.

────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

“i need to get you away from all this.” you say while looking around the room and then back at him. “c’mon, get up.”

after sitting beside taehyun for what felt like hours, you got up to get him out of the room.

taking care of him meant you had to constantly bring him glasses of water and make sure he kept himself conscious. taehyun doesn’t usually drink a lot, so this is new to you.

he always thought people who got too drunk at parties were dumb for doing things like that in public. but now, he’s the one sitting on the floor against the wall, trying to regain his composure.

you grab taehyun’s arm and then place your hand on his waist to hold him up next to you. his ears show a shade of pink at your bold touch but he keeps it hidden. he tries to shrug you off and mumbles something about not wanting to move, but you’re not letting him stay there any longer.

“i don’t wanna leave. i'm fine y/n... really.” he says while talking at a slow speed, like he was fighting for those words to come out.

you ignore his remarks as you walk out the room. once you reach the hall you take a glance at the rooms and decide that the bedroom at the end of the hall would be a calmer place.

“all i want is for you to get better, and that room was the worst place to sober up. you’re already doing good, so just do as i say okay?” you retort as you make your way to the center of the room and reach for the bed, sitting him on the edge of it.

“whatever.” he slurs while lazily looking around the room and then at you.

you take the bottle of water you had brought and then hand it to him as you sit down on the other edge of the bed. as he drinks the water you look up to the ceiling and start reflecting about the past.

it has been a while since you talked to taehyun. after you started to go out with his best friend nicholas, things felt more distant. not awkward, just, distant.

you met taehyun through nicholas a while ago. you guys went bowling and he introduced you to some of his friends: taehyun being one of them.

after that bowling night, taehyun reached out to you to hang out more often. and so, you two became best friends. you would eat out, watch movies or most of the time, just talk.

however, he wasn’t the only one hanging out with you. you were still going out with nicholas regularly at that time, and you guys were closer than ever. taehyun knew this, and for some reason it bothered him. he didn’t want to accept it, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he liked you, from the very start. he knew it was wrong, how could he like the same girl as his best friend? so, he decided to keep quiet and he never said anything ; until one day.

it happened around two weeks ago, on a wednesday afternoon: you and taehyun were eating some sweets after walking around town. he always bought you sweets, he knew you loved them. you two decided to eat them while sitting in front of the shop. you had called for an uber and while waiting for it you two chatted about whatever crossed your mind.

“hey,” taehyun cut the conversation while he stared at the cars passing by “i need to tell you something.”

“sure... what is it?” you said keeping your eyes on the cars, slightly concerned by his serious tone. you both wouldn’t look at each other.

“i..” he paused. “i had feelings for you.”

you frowned and kept looking at the road, you were about to say something in response but he cut you off.

“but i don’t anymore. i liked you and it’s in the past.” he continued while avoiding your gaze. “you’re going out with nicholas and he’s my bestfriend. i don’t want to lose him, or you.” he states.

“i liked you too, a while back.” you stared at the cars going at a fast speed as you reflected on this. you recently had a feeling he liked and you kept it away for the same reasons as him.

“it’s all in the past, right? we-” taehyun asked you, but it felt like he asked himself that too. “we’re good like this, right?”

“i-“ as you try and answer him, your uber calls. you look at the car and then back at him as you walk off, sighing. “i have to go.”

“how’s nicholas doing?” says taehyun from the other side of the bed, suddenly cutting your train of thought.

your best friend is doing his best to sober up and here you are thinking about useless things. get a grip y/n, you thought.

“he’s okay. haven’t seen him in a bit tho.” you reply while looking to the side.

“oh. why?” he asks while staring at you.

“i told him i didn’t want to see him for some time, i’ve got some stuff i need to sort out.” you sigh. why would he ask about him now? it annoyed you, for an unknown reason. “anyway, i think you’re feeling better aren’t you?”

he let out a small chuckle and he waved the empty water bottle at you. “yup, all thanks to you.”

he looked a bit tipsy but that was it. he definitely felt better and you deemed it to be the right time to leave the room. you stood up and rearranged your dress that had ridden up to your thighs. taehyun’s eyes lingered on them until he looked up to you.

“wait, you're leaving?” he questions while looking disappointed.

“yeah.. i think you’re good, so i'm gonna go back to my friends.” you answer while looking back at him and giving him a small smile. you turn your back and reach for the door until you feel something grab your hand.

“but i don’t want you to leave.” taehyun says as he grabs your hand and stands behind you.

you ground yourself and resist the urge to turn around. you can feel his breath behind you as he sighs. your cheeks start to warm up at the thought of him being close to you again.

“can i-” he looks down “can i kiss you? please y/n” he says quietly.

you turn around and look at him. your flustered expression must say it all since he talks again before you can reply.

“just-” his eyes are fixed on yours “just once, it won't hurt us, i swear.” then, his eyes travel down to your lips.

“no..” you look down “taehyun i’m sorry but i don’t think that’s good neither of us.” you retort.

he sighs and lets go of your hand to run his hand through his hair in frustration. he felt bad after asking for that so shamelessly. “i’m sorry.”

you don’t know why but your heart aches. you know it wouldn’t be right so you reach for the door again, without looking back. you’re about to step but you pause and look down, burying your face in your palms.

“fuck.” you groan in exasperation. you stood there for a few seconds until you could feel taehyun's smirk from behind you.

taehyun’s eyes lock with yours as you turn your head to the side and you feel like your breath got caught in your throat. his eyes are slightly glossy as they burn into yours. you look down at his lips and then look back up to meet his piercing gaze.

“i knew you’d stay.” he whispers as he glares at you from the bed. he stands up and snatches your waist to hold you.

taehyun keeps pulling you into his embrace and you swear both of his hands on you, could break your waist. his touch makes your head spin and your breath quicken.

“just a kiss.” he slurs as he joins his forehead with yours and presses his body closer to you, making you feel all of him. you feel the heat coming off his body, and his breath is so clear against you that it makes your face feel hot. adding the scent of vodka and sandalwood radiating off his body, you become gradually intoxicated by him.

“taehyun..” you hesitate. your voice comes out so low, that if it weren’t for the proximity between you both, he wouldn’t have heard it. “just one kiss.” you comply.

finally gaining confirmation, he wastes no time in grabbing the back of your neck to pull you closer and connect his lips with yours. his other hand travels down to grasp your hip with so much force it makes you let out a small gasp. taehyun’s kiss is ignited with desire. it’s so rough that it almost feels desperate.

you feel like your legs are gonna give out any second with the way he handles you, turning into mush. his tongue slides against your bottom lip asking for permission, you let out a small moan as you open your mouth for him and he swears your moans could kill him. he never lets his mouth leave yours as he clumsily brings you to the bed in hurried movements.

he sits down and lifts you onto his lap without effort. god, those gym sessions really pay off, you think. his hands roam around your body and he feels whatever he can, making you let out shaky breaths between actions. your crotch lands on his suddenly causing friction.

you moan at the sudden contact and you break the kiss. your eyes trail down his body: his ruffled hair, now red and puffy lips from all the kissing, his toned biceps, and lastly, his defined v-line exposed by his shirt that had ridden up. you felt a pool form between your legs as you stared at him in awe.

taking advantage of your ogling, taehyun started doing the same to you. he studied your face, glowing with the glints of light that came into the room, then he observed your body, starstruck by the way your chest was heaving with each breath you took. it was as if he was memorizing every part of you, in fear of never seeing it again.

“a kiss isn’t enough.” he groans as he latches onto your neck and starts to kiss and bite every spot on it. “i need all of you.”

you latch onto him as his hands grip your ass, while he keeps his attack against your neck and collarbone, marking you. with one sharp bite on your collarbone your body reacts instinctively and you rub yourself against his crotch, making him let out a broken whimper.

“oh god” he says between bites. “you’re gonna kill me y/n.” he growls, holding on to your hips to keep them in place with so much force that you’re sure it will bruise you.

“taehyun...” you call in a broken tone. “give me more.”

he’s certain that he’s done for once those words leave your lips. he inches you closer to his crotch and makes you rub against it again, kissing you furiously. you pant, feeling his hot breath against your skin. he feels like his entire body is in flames, his mind clouded with you. your body, your voice, your scent, all of you, in his hold.

“don’t worry baby. i’ll give you everything.”

©kiztae 2023

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noahideahwrites · 5 months

Note

Hi! Idk if you still do your X alpha reader hc but..

Can you do one for the Boys of Inuyasha again?? This time maybe How they ( the omegas/the boys ) secretlt like to be Carried by their Alpha?? Would be totes happy if you did this! ^^

How They Like To Be Carried — Inuyasha Omegas

Notes: I'm so sorry it took me this long to answer, the past few months have been wild with university and personal issues. But I'm gonna try and be more consistent, at least while I'm on summer break.

Warnings: Possible spoilers (principally on Naraku's), grammar mistakes, implied sex, and suggestive content

— Inuyasha:

»» As we all know this guy is a major tsundere, so he will deny and complain about you carrying him, even if deep down he loves it. You need to learn how to read his signs, similar to a dog's body language.

»» Now I'm a fan of making him flustered, so I would recommend doing it in front of his friends for a good laugh. But you need to keep in mind that he will not like you carrying him in front of others (who aren't his friends), principally if they're the enemy, even worse if it's Sesshomaru.

»» The guy has to keep his tough persona up and look intimidating, he cannot do it if he is red while you carry him. If you keep in mind those details, then you should be fine.

»» Inuyasha likes to be carried in any way, be on your back, shoulder and princess carried just to name a few, For him it doesn't matter how, as long as it's you doing it.

— Sesshomaru:

»» There is only one way Sesshomaru likes to be carried and it's princess style, which can be surprising considering his personality and cold demeanor.

»» But for his alpha, Sesshomaru does and enjoys things he didn't think it would be possible for him to even consider. We have to remember that this guy is obsessed with his alpha, so he can tolerate a lot of things.

»» For you to even be able to carry him there can be only three people seeing, you, him, and maybe Rin, since she is your pup now. If even Jakin is present to see it, the moment you think of carrying him, he's gone.

»» The moment you're going to carry him the most is during aftercare, he loves to be pampered, principally after sex, so expect to be carrying him a lot after the act.

— Tōga:

»» Tōga LOVES being carried, he doesn't care who sees it, or if people will start gossiping, or if he will embarrass his pups for being seen with you two.

»» He is also shameless, so he will ask you to carry him whenever he feels like it, and he will be smiling ear to ear and purring loudly, this man doesn't give a fuck.

»» He also loves carrying you, his alpha that he is really, REALLY obsessed with. If you don't like being carried he will only do it in the privacy of your home with only your pups to see.

»» Another frequent sight is Tōga carrying your pups around, doesn't matter their age, if they let him he will be seen just picking them up and walking around. But if they don't like it, it will be the same as when he does it to you.

»» Just like Sesshomaru he prefers the princess carry style, but he is not picky and will accept being carried in any way, shape, or form.

— Kōga:

»» Absolutly HATES being carried with a passion, but loves carrying you. Don't even try to argue is not gonna work.

»» Every time you try to carry him, he does the uno reverse card and carries you instead. But you can feel the almost unnoticeable purrs he gives when carrying you.

»» Honestly, if you don't like being carried either just stop trying to carry him and you should be fine, he won't normally go out of his way to carry you around.

»» The only moment you will be carried no questions asked and without you initiating it, it's if you need to escape for whatever reason since he is faster than most if not all with the jewel shards.

— Bankotsu:

»» This guy is the most neutral of all of them, he truly doesn't mind being carried, but it's also not something he likes, it's just indifferent.

»» Now, he does like teasing you when you go to carry him, saying something along the lines of "You really can't control yourself, huh?", he will make comments like this until you start blushing, this is the only part he actually likes about it.

»» But I feel like he is provocative to his alpha doesn't matter the occasion, it's just that you make it so easy when you like carrying him so much.

»» If he had to pick a style on being carried it would be a piggyback ride, he gets easy access to your ear, he can easily free himself if the need arrives and he can even provoke you if he feels like it.

— Naraku:

»» ABSOLUTELY NOT, hates even the idea of it and hates even more thinking of carrying you, he just despises the carrying altogether.

»» How he goes about it depends on if it's just Onigumo that loves you or if Naraku as a whole loves you. If it's just Onigumo you won't even have many opportunities to even think about it after the first offer, he will cut you off and maybe even avoid you.

»» If the entirety of Naraku loves you, then it's another story. He still hates the thought of it, but the way he acts about it it's different.

»» Either he lets you carry one of his incarnations/clones, or he will try to distract you with other things, considering the way he is if he didn't accept on the first ask, I recommend not trying again if you want to live.

#alpha!reader #hcideah #x gn reader #x male reader #x reader #inuyasha #sesshomaru #bankotsu #naraku #kōga #tōga

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atom-writings · 8 months

Text

"For beggary a man is not chased out of human society with a stick, he is swept out with a broom, so as to make it as humiliating as possible."

2.6k words ~ yandere fyodor x reader (sequel to this)

tw: torture scene (not incredibly graphic?) general yandere tws, false imprisonment, infantilization, swearing, unhealthy relationships.

Act normal. That was it, all you had to was act normal. For one dinner, you would have to once again act the perfect little victim. He was smart, he was dangerous, you knew that, but he had not yet been given the key to your head. No, your secret would be safe as long as you just acted like you normally would.

Enter the ballroom. Look him in the eyes, you can't seem like you're avoiding him. Accept the restraints. Look between him and the food nervously, just like always. Wait for him to make some off-hand comment. Bring the water to your lips, drink it just as you would have on any other day. Don't say too much. Don't be quiet.

It should have been your easiest performance yet, you assumed. Though, in reality, very little of this was a performance was it? No, your submission, your trembling fear, the snakes that wound up your legs when he even acknowledged your presence, that was all genuine. As much as you tried to deny it, you had yet to lie to the man. The same man who did nothing but steal and slaughter. Either way, it should have been easy.

That thought left your mind the moment you stepped foot into the makeshift dining room once again. In retrospect, it was silly, wasn't it? With a glance, the man could make you feel like you were being endlessly drowned by thorns, twisting through your muscles, endlessly contracting and expanding within you. It made your knees weak as you walked closer. It made you want to fall to the floor, but... that would be quite unusual behaviour.

The moment the doors banged shut, echoing throughout the massive hall, Fyodor fixed his gaze on you intently. Even from across the length of a massive dining table, you couldn't help but flinch back, closing your eyes to silence the holes his irises seared into yours.

He didn't hesitate like he usually did. He didn't take even a second to allow you to adjust to his overpowering presence, no, not at all.

”My dear.“ Despite how soft his voice was, it echoed throughout the ballroom like he was screaming.

A few, horribly tense, horribly uncomfortable, moments passed. Yet he refused to speak, and he began to look at you like he hadn't before. The way he focused on you, was now not like one would look at an ordinary notebook or other object, but more like how one would look at a disobedient child. Strangely, you didn't flinch.

“My dear.” He repeated, his tone more firm.

You drew in a sharp breath, the only other sound being the quiet rattling of your restraints as you shook.

”Yes?“

”Before we truly begin the next phase of this relationship,“ He leaned forward, interlocking his fingers and resting his chin on them, ”I would like for you to fully understand one thing.“

You pause, ”Which is?“

”I would like for this relationship to be consensual,“

It took a moment for the words to register in your mind, ”This relationship?“

“Yes, whatever we may become, I would like for you to enjoy my presence just as I do yours.” He sighs.

That took even longer to register. Why in the world would he have any reason to care about what you thought now? Sure, it was a nice sentiment- but if he had wanted a normal relationship, kidnapping was not the first step.

But really, was it kidnapping? He didn't force you into the car. He didn't force you to follow him out of the cafe. He didn't force you to grow accustomed to his surveillance. You hadn't asked for any of this... but it's not like you hadn't been... in the slightest, most minuscule way complacent in it. He was to blame... but so you were you... right?

You had barely even attempted escape-

“Something you would like to say, my love?” He shocked you out of your thoughts once again. He had impeccable timing with that.

“N-No, not really... but if you wanted something like most people have... why did you start us off like this? Why didn't you try doing something normal with me?”

For that, he seemingly had no response, only sighing. Slowly, he poured his glass full of blood-red wine, swirled it around between his fingers, and took a sip. Then, like he had suddenly remembered you were sitting in front of him, he spoke.

“There are some questions I do not believe you need answers to right now.”

“Wha-”

He cut you off sharply, “You do not need to worry so much.”

He began to look at you, his head cocked lazily to the side as if he was waiting for a response. Yet, you could tell he wasn't waiting for one. Another word from you when he didn't want it would only get cut off once more.

“I am willing to give you plenty of time to process this arrangement, my love. In my personal opinion, I have already given you enough. But in your fragile mental state, I'm sure you will need much more. Am I correct?”

Fragile mental state- Who does he think caused that mental state? God, talking to him felt like being caught in an endless whirlpool, every second of air only replaced by another period of your head being pushed underwater.

But you can't say that. Maybe someday- but not tonight. Tonight... you have to act normal.

”You're correct.”

He made a small condescending 'hm' in response, taking another sip of his wine.

”Then I am sure that together... we will be alright.“

”I just have one more question, Fyodor,“ You sputtered out, not realizing what you were saying until the words had left your mouth.

Seemingly, he noticed your surprise at your actions, slightly raising one eyebrow.

”Speak.“

”If you wanted a consensual relationship, why can't you let me go?“

In an instant, all the air was sucked out of the room. As he leaned forward only slightly, it felt as if he instantly became larger, a towering, destructive, strong monster of a man-

”You are not to leave this home.“

”Why?“ You demanded, instantly wincing at your audacity, on the ONE NIGHT you were supposed to play it cool-

”Because I say so.“ He insisted, his voice eerily calm for the conviction that was dripping from his words.

”I'm not a child-“

”You're not a child. Yet, you still cannot be trusted in the outside world.” He scoffed.

“If-”

“What, you think I brought you here for only my own pleasure? No. Your life, when you ran it, was nothing but a disaster wasn't it?”

Where does this man get off-

”That is why you are here. You don't deserve that life, at least, that is what I believe. If you had continued living your way, I'm sure you would have been found dead in some gutter a week ago.“

“Wh- Why do you think that?!”

“Because I am privy to information you are not, my dear. ”

Your vision turned red, muscles tensing like a cat about to pounce, jaw set to unhinge and swallow him whole.

“Then... then tell me that information,” You said softly through clenched teeth forcing a smile.

“And risk your safety once again? No, no-”

“If I'm safe here, why is it a-”

“Do not interrupt me.” He said forcefully, his voice even but deadly as he gripped his wine glass with clawed fingers.

“I-“

”You cannot be happy being safe? You must tempt fate? Yet, you say you are not a child...“ He scoffs before continuing, ”You are not to leave here, not until I say you can. I owe that to your poor, disparaging parents, don't I? To keep their child alive? Of course, I do.“

All you could do was sit back in your chair, not daring to break his harsh gaze, watching and waiting as he rambled on. He scolded you like a father. He had done that since you arrived. Every opinion shared was met with a snide remark, a veiled insult, or simply silence. Yet, he says he wanted a consensual relationship.

Hypocrite. He's nothing but a stupid fucking hypocrite.

“I'm doing this for you, my love. This is all to keep you safe. Do you understand?”

You nodded. In a split second, he had made everything clear as day. You understood. Soon, he'd understand too.

That's what you promised yourself that night. The hours spent silently sitting against the wall, watching in wait for the light under the door to finally turn to black. That was it. One single light, one single reflection under the door, and you could run. You could run without restraints, the endless hallways becoming your poppy field, hair blowing in the wind like a horse breaking the new frontier.

One single light. One single light and this would all be over-

Click.

In a moment that made your heart beat like a drum, the light turned to black. A second later, the footsteps of the man guarding your room began to fade into the darkness as well.

You shot out of bed, your hands shaking as your animalistic ferocity took over. Turn off the lights. Act normal. Grab your notebook. Act normal. Take out the wire. Act so normal. Run up to the door. Act so normal he wouldn't suspect a thing.

Twist the wire into the door handle, and keep twisting, endlessly filling the murky whirlpool, until that wonderful sound- oh that wonderful sound! That relieving, assuaging, palliating sound rings out in the room, filling the void, filling the endless pit in your stomach once and for all.

Click.

You flung the door open, nearly slamming it into the wall, running to the wall in front of you. As your eyes adjusted to the dark, you could barely make out the outline of a sign. It was simple, bearing only three arrows.

Number one, directly to the right, reading... well... something... like… “nnot“?

Number two, to the left, reading something that looked like... ”banhi three-an“?

The third one, to the far left, which read... English! Beneath the Russian, it was ENGLISH! Clearly marked, Elevator to the downstairs lobby.

You didn't dare to take more than a second to read, instantly spinning to your right and taking off. Faster than you thought you could run, faster than you'd ever run in your whole life, faster than your feet could keep up, faster, faster, FASTER!

Faster than the wind, the stars, the moon, the sky; faster than you could handle, tripping over your own feet over and over again, drifting and hitting the walls, only to keep going. Where your slippers had fallen, you had no idea, but they were only slowing you down. Your bare feet padded against the vintage carpet, a rhythmic thumping whose volume was only beaten out by the beating of your heart.

The elevator. You could see it.

It was coming closer, but not fast enough. FASTER! You screamed in your own ears, RUN! RUN BEFORE THEY MAKE THIS THE LAST TIME!

The doors were opening for you, slowly, like the gates to heaven, the warm light embracing you, wrapping you in hope, because now- unlike then, back in that room, you had fr-

The doors were opening.

You instantly slid, burning the back of your legs as you tried to turn the other way desperately. No, maybe they didn't see you, maybe they didn't see you.

You spun around, only to be face to face with Fyodor's enforcers.

You spun around. There was Fyodor, stepping out of the elevator. Time moved in slow motion as he raised his hand to flip the light switch. One light, illuminating the 6 of you. One single light.

”Did I not just tell you were never to leave this place, little mouse?“ He chided. You could hear the grin through his teeth, even as you cowered and covered your eyes from him. You couldn't help it. He made your knees weak, like always. But this time... you couldn't hold back your draw to the floor.

”Cat got your tongue?“ He continued.

”No...“ You mumbled weakly.

”Then what has it, my love?“

He stepped forward, the sounds of his boots quiet compared to those of his men. The heat of his body covered yours as he leaned over your crumpled form.

As more and more time passed without your response, he simply sighed.

“Whatever the case may be, it doesn't matter.”

You shook, your teeth chattering against your skull, gripping the carpet up off the ground just to keep yourself upright.

“Vy mozhete vzyath ikh, gospoda.”

Gospoda, what he always called his men. Where were they going to leave to? For what, for him to do what? To kill you finally? So he can be honest with you? What, what, what?

You waited for the sound of the enforcer's footsteps to fade away, yet they only grew louder. Louder and louder until they met you.

In a flash, your hair was being pulled from your head. You kicked. You screamed. But that didn't slow them even a bit.

No, they never stopped. No matter how much you screamed and wailed like a banshee, the harsh hands tightening around your arms didn't stop.

Even as you begged for mercy in the seconds between your head being forced underwater, they didn't stop.

Even as your lungs burned. Your knees felt like fire. Your throat was scratched from screams, the scorching rust mixing with the acid of bile threatening to force its way out of your mouth.

All you had heard for what must have been... hours, was the sound of water hitting the dingy bathroom tiles, the foreign chatter of the enforcers, and your cries.

As a child, you had scraped your knee. Fallen out of a tree. Broke your arm on a bike. As an adult, you had broken your knee. Hit your head. Cut your hand. Experienced a head-splitting migraine.

Nothing hurt like this.

Nothing hurt like how the men's hands contorted you against the bathtub. Plunging you back down into the water for minutes at a time, barely allowing you a breath before pressing your burning face back into the tub.

They laughed at you. They laughed as your dinner forced it's way out of your stomach. You felt like laughing when that didn't stop their thrusts. Because it didn't matter what was in that tub... not to them.

No, you were stuck in this whirlpool for good. There was no pulling yourself out of this water.

it was difficult to tell how much time had passed when you came back to. Maybe days, maybe hours. What's the point in counting? It wouldn't matter.

All that matters is that Fyodor was standing in front of you. Your eyes turned limply back to the tile, trying in vain to ignore the vines wrapping around your stomach once again. Even if you hadn't, it wasn't like he could make you anymore sick than you'd been. Your body felt as if it couldn't put down food for weeks from how forcibly it'd been emptied.

“Those bad men are gone, my love,” He says softly, his voice sounding distant and faded.

The bad men were gone. You were alone... alone and cold without arms tearing you in every which direction.

“I'll take care of you now. Don't you worry,”

He kneeled in front of you, the sound almost inaudible to your waterlogged ears. Gently, as if he were petting a wild animal, he wiped off your face with a warm washcloth.

It was soft. Relaxing, almost. But... but a reality in which you could be comforted right now was far from your own.

“That was truly horrible, wasn’t it, dearest?”

“Let’s make sure we don’t have to repeat it.”

#bsd tag #bsd x reader #bsd fyodor x reader #yandere fyodor dostoevsky #yandere fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky x reader

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sp0o0kylights · 1 year

Text

Part One

Here’s the thing about the kids.

Mike can be downright squirrely when he wants to be.

The guy is all long-limbs and ever-changing moods, and the second he spots Steve he vanishes around the corner and leaves no trace of himself behind.

Dustin, similarly, is catty.

The kid’s not fast, but when cornered, he has a tendency to do the most insane, ridiculous things.

Currently Steve is ninety percent sure he just saw him jump out a window, and the only reason it’s not one hundred is because his eyesight isn’t the greatest these days, and it’s entirely possible Dustin found something to put that stupid Weird Al shirt on and threw that out the window instead,

It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened.

Knowing this, Steve automatically goes for the easiest target: Lucas.

See, Lucas is, of course, the most athletic and the only one likely to give Steve a run for his money should he too, decide to bolt.

He also was the most likely to stop and actually talk to Steve, because unlike his friends, he possessed some emotional maturity.

Or just maturity in general.

“Come on Luc, what’s going on?” Steve calls out, the second he rounds the corner and spots the kids. “You’re freaking me out.”

That makes Lucas stop and come to him, while the other two dipshits bolt.

Steve leans against a wall, eyebrow raised as Lucas slinks forward, but knows instantly from the grin the kid’s trying to hide that whatever’s going on right now, is their usual kind of bullshit.

(An internal part of him, the part that has to deal with the unusual bullshit every six months or so, sighs in relief.)

“Okay, you have to swear not to be mad.” Lucas starts, which is never a good sign, but at least it’s coming from Steve’s second most trustworthy kid.

(Will still holds first place, after the time he ratted out Mike for dumping nail polish all over Max’s jacket.

“She was super rude, but she didn’t deserve that.” Will had said with a stubborn set to his jaw.

Steve had ruffled his hair and together they had plotted a way to get revenge on Mike without letting Max outright murder him.)

“We uh, might have heard that you were being auctioned off tonight.”

Which was not at all where Steve thought this was going to go.

“Okay?” He hedges, waiting to see where Lucas spills the part that makes Steve worry.

“So you played D&D with Erica and Dustin, and neither of them will stop bragging about it.” Lucas says, a slight pink coloring his cheeks, “--and Mike won’t say it, but I know it bothers him too so we thought we could, uh, buy you. For the day.”

Lucas sends out his gigawatt grin, the one he uses when he’s trying to be his most charming. “To make you play D&D with us.”

Something warm and soft blooms in Steve’s heart. A kind of love he’d never had before hauling the little shits out of the line of fire the first time.

These kids were gonna be the death of him, he just knew it.

“If you ever tell the others I said this I will deny it ” Steve says, pulling out his wallet and forking out a handful of twenties. “But I would be happy to play your dungeons and dipshits game with you.”

Lucas doesn’t even correct him as he accepts the money with a grin--a real one this time. “Really?” He says, and it's so stupidly hopefully it makes Steve’s heart squeeze.

He reaches out, pulling the kid in for a hug for a second. Claps him on the back a few times before pushing fondly at his head.

“Over being taken on a date by some middle aged woman? Absolutely. But like I said,” He playfully shoves Lucas away, “You tell anyone and I will deny, deny, deny.”

“Sure Steve, whatever.” Lucas says, before running off to go find his friends.

Steve watches him go for a moment, smile on his face, before turning back to the gym.

He’d rather play D&D with the kids any day over dealing with this farce.

(The shocking thing, he finds himself thinking as he wanders over to where the other dates are situated, is that he means it. Even if a hot, beautiful girl bid on him--he’d rather spend the day with the kids.

Doesn’t that just say something about his life these days?)

xXx Eddie xXx

His club was going to kill him.

Normally, missing a game would be downright heresy. Betrayal of the highest order, particularly considering he’s the damn dungeon master. Sure, other people can DM, but not for the current ongoing campaign, which means Eddie landing his sorry ass in detention disrespected the sanctity of both his club and his people.

A fact he will need to beg on hands and knees to makeup for.

The siren song of the microphone, nevermind the idea of having an honest to god stage to prowl around on at lunch was simply too much for Eddie to resist, particularly when it came to his anti-Valentines Day speech.

Not that he was the type of guy to roll his eyes at all the lovey-dovey crap floating around, but more that people could be so stupid about it.

…and maybe he was a little bit jealous.

Eddie convinces himself it’s fine. He plans to have a session for the missed game on Sunday, when he knows his friends had planned to hang out at his place anyway.

Still feels bad about it as he walks down the halls of Hawkin’s high, annoyed that detention took as long as it did.

There’s people milling around, in the kind of stupid dressed up clothes that wasn’t formal, but could be described by evil words like “business casual.” The best skirts and knitted tops, slacks for the men paired with button up shirts or polos.

Like a fucking swarm of Steve Harrington’s--without any of the guys charm.

Not that he had any charm.

Definitely not.

Eddie gives an overactive shudder to clear his head, making his way out of the school as fast as he can.

Because life, the universe and everything in it hates him, he’s interrupted.

“Eddie! Oh thank god, look guys it’s Eddie!”

For the briefest of seconds after hearing Henderson’s voice, Eddie’s worried no one thought to tell the kids that Hellfire had been canceled.

Or, considering Eddie’s over the top response to the first time one of them had tried to miss a campaign night, they might be worried he’s dying (rather than simply an “unbearable idiot” as Jeff had called him earlier.)

His freshman lambs quickly swarm him, three pairs of eyes staring with weird amounts of hope (Sinclair, Henderson) and awkward embarrassment (Wheeler.)

“Eddie! Eddie, they're only letting Juniors and Seniors place the actual bets!” Dustin sounds frantic, practically vibrating in place before him. “They won’t let any of us bid on Steve!”

Any fondness Eddie felt evaporates in a puff of vexed smoke.

“That sounds like a you problem.” He challenges, raising an eyebrow.

For once, the freshmen don’t cringe back.

Instead he’s treated to steel sliding across Henderon’s face, Sinclair right behind him and Mike, who refuses to meet Eddie’s eyes, but stands with his friends anyway.

“Come on, think of all the chaos it’ll cause!” Dustin is pleading, his hands waving in the air in a way that reminds Eddie of himself. “Isn’t that like, you’re whole thing? Going against ‘the Man’!?”

Yes, because publicly buying Harrington for a date in front of Hawkin’s self-proclaimed elite was a great way to stick it to ‘the Man’, instead of, say, painting yet another target on his back.

“I don’t think getting into a bidding war over taking Steve Harrington on a date is going to go over well.” He deadpans.

Dustin throws his hands in the air. “It doesn’t have to be a date! ”

“Jennifer’s mom’s friends bid on her. For a girls night.” Mike adds so quietly it takes a minute for the words to process.

“Just saying!” He adds frantically, as though Eddie is going to call him out for this betrayal.

Considering the downright fearful look he’s wearing, Eddie might just do it for shits and giggles in his next campaign.

“We’re begging you, don’t you want to see Steve play D&D? We promise you can even watch the whole thing and embarrass him or whatever!” Dustin continues, hands clasped together in front of him.

“There you idiots are.” A judgey, annoyed voice calls, cutting into the conversation.

Eddie has never met Sinclair Jr. but immediately assumes the girl walking towards them with her arms firmly on her hips must be her “Steve’s up next, idiots. I know you know how auctions work, so I shouldn't have to remind you about having to physically be in the room to bid on him.”

She stops, cocking her head challengingly. “Unless one of you is going to call in from a payphone?”

Cheeky.

Eddie loves cheeky.

Even if she is eleven.

Muted calls ring out again from the gym. Apparently Hawkin’s middle aged women have started their fight for a day spent with one of the “young, local heroes”.

The very thought of Steve, all scraped up in the stupid Scoop’s Ahoy sailor uniform, guiding kid’s out of the mallfire with his broad chest and buff arms and--

“Eddie.” Dustin whines, bouncing frantically in place.

‘Head out of the gutter, Munson!’ He thinks, annoyed at himself (and perhaps, a little bit more understanding of the ladies shouting out numbers in the gym).

“Do you still only have five dollars?” He says, and it's not defeat, not yet, but he can see the hope reignite in their eyes.

This was stupid. A stupid, stupid, stupid idea!

“We have a hundred now.” Lucas says firmly, which is at least a lot more than five.

The calls from the gym are playful but there’s a catty undertone now. Those women really want that date with Steve, and Eddie knows walking in there, bidding on Harrington is a death sentence.

Dustin’s done something to his eyes. They’re wide, shined over like he’s about to cry. Like this fucking matters to him.

It drills into Eddie in a way he hates. How the three of them, (even Mike who is still trying his best not to act like he wants this) are handing him all their dreams. He’s someone they look up to, someone who can make things happen, and he’s always liked that feeling--but this?

This was asking a lot.

“Eddie man, please. You’re our only hope.” Dustin says it softly, and goddamn him, it’s like he knows Eddie is weak for this shit. That under all his leather and chains that he cares.

About them.

He just wishes what they didn’t care about was fucking Steve Harrington.

He knows they think the guy hung the moon. Just as he knows he'll need more than money to fend off the competition and actually win Steve: he'll need a plan.

Knows, even, just how he’ll do it.

“Baby Sinclair, a word?” He crooks a finger, walking a few paces backwards as a plan rapidly forms.

She flicks her eyes over to him, and with an appraisal that says she had already judged him and found him lacking. “It’s Erica.”

Eddie bows low to her, arm brushing the floor. “My deepest apologies, Lady Erica.”

She rolls her eyes but comes over anyway and lets Eddie whisper in her ear.

xXx

If there's one thing Eddie is good at, it's presentation.

The gym doors are already open so there’s nothing he can throw or kick dramatically to announce his presence. Instead, Eddie settles for wading through the crowded tables until he’s dead center to the stage.

Steve stands upon it, a smile in place that reads fake as hell--but considering the sheer amount of wine glasses on all the tables Eddie doesn’t think anyone else clocks it. At least, not anyone who can legally drink anyway.

Erica, bless her, manages to swipe an auction paddle and hand it to Eddie. With a cocked hip, he holds it straight into the air..

"One-fifty!" He calls, causing a wave of heads to twist his way.

“What the hell.” Jason hisses, launching to his feet. Chrissy pulls at his elbow, but he throws her off with a quick jerk, staring furiously from his spot with the other “dates.”

"This is a charity event, Munson. This isn’t time for one of your pranks!” He speaks in the kind of loud, surefire way that screams authority and draws eyes from around the room.

Eddie was prepared for it.

“Jason,” he gasps, paddle going over his heart in mock outrage, “this isn’t a prank! I’m here on behalf of the children.”

The stare he gets would have fit better on an enraged bull.

(The bull, Eddie reasons, would have been smarter.)

“What children!?” Jason spits and Eddie couldn’t have planned a better entrance if he’d paid the moron to say all the shit he just had.

Erica, playing her part like the champion she was, steps out from behind Eddie and waves.

"Steve helped me escape during the mallfire.” She announces, loud enough to be heard throughout the gym.

She takes another step forward, all eyes on her and makes herself look smaller somehow.

Younger.

“I just--" she cuts herself off, eyes welling with unshed tears as she bites her lip. "I just would love it if Steve played some club games with us. Please?"

Her voice breaks on the word ‘games’ and Eddie has to hand it to her--girl’s a rising star.

"Are you shitting me?!" Jason protests, but is shushed loudly by the mother at the table nearest to him. Chrissy finally succeeds in getting her boyfriend to sit back down, his face a glorious shade of red.

If Eddie had known he was going to get to embarrass Carver out of this, he would have agreed a lot sooner.

“One-fifty going once!” The auctioneer calls, and Erica takes a hesitant step forward.

“One-fifty going twice!” He calls again, and there’s a hush in the gym everyone collectively holding their breath.

“Sold!” He calls out, after a too long pause.

Erica lets out a loud sob (slightly over-acted but Eddie will give it to her) and runs up the stairs of the stage, leaping at Steve.

He catches her in a crushing hug, applause and whistles following what has to be every mother in the damn place letting out an “awww.”

Eddie manages not to gag, but only because he still has his showman smile in place.

Steve descends the stairs, Erica holding his hand until the next “date” is called to the stage. She leans in to whisper something to him and Eddie gets to watch Steve smother bark of laughter with a cough as Erica casually skips off.

"How much did Erica charge you for that little show?" Steve asks quietly as he comes up to Eddie, the two of them heading to the cashier.

“She wants me to paint her a bunch of signs for her girl scout troop. Then swear to buy ten boxes of cookies.”

Steve shakes his head, a soft smile on his face. "Consider yourself lucky. She nailed me with free ice cream for life once."

"Damn." Eddie whistles.

"I know the kids probably put you up to this, but I appreciate it." Steve continues, sounding outright relieved as they stand in line together to pay.

Eddie gives him a look. "You're happy that I won." He says.

It’s not a question.

“Absolutely I am a man, did you see some of the women bidding on me?” Steve shudders, making a horrified face that Eddie can’t not laugh at.

"What if I really did want to go on a date, Stevie?" He teases, knocking his shoulder into the former jock’s. “And the whole thing with Mini Sinclair was just a way to do it?”

Steve goes with the movement, clearly taken aback. Eddie begins to grin, clasping his hands under his chin and batting his eyelashes. Waits for the negative reaction he knew was coming.

He doesn’t get it.

Instead, Steve's face melted into something downright sinful.

“Then I’d still be coming out ahead, Munson.” Steve’s voice drops low, leaning in a bit to make his words private. “It’d be fun to use the ol’ Harrington charm on you.”

Eddie swallows once, twice.

His throat bops as he tries to make it work, before finally managing to spit out "For the record, I am immune to any and all charms.”

“That’s what they all say.” Steve says, then winks.

Fucking.

Winks.

At him!

“Whatever.” He scoffs. Steps up to pay, because it’s finally his turn, and listens as the woman behind the counter explains that as part of the rules of the auction: all dates must be redeemed by the end of the weekend.

Is followed by Harrington, who turns a smile onto the women behind the table.

“Not a problem.” Steve tells her, and while it doesn’t seem like he's using that “Harrington Charm” that totally had not made Eddie blush scarlet, the cashier is clearly enamored anyway.

“Thank you for bidding on him for those kids.” She tells Eddie, as Steve leans a hip against the table.

“Eddie here is a true gentleman.” Steve says, turning his grin back towards him and thank god his hair covers his ears because Eddie knows they’re fucking bright red too. “The kids adore him just as much as me.”

“I bet that little girl is just thrilled that he won.” The cashier continues, and Eddie would bet all his teeth that Erica would rather fight a bear than be referred to as a “little girl.”

“Uh-huh.” Eddie manages, voices several octaves higher than normal.

Looks away, as he’s handed the receipt so he doesn't have to face the fact that he paid for a date with Steve Harrington.

That he'd made just as much of a show as Eddie had and fucking flirted with him after.

It didn't matter that they'd both done this for the kids.

This shit was gonna be the hottest gossip topic for all those annoying church ladies, he just knew it.

(“The little shits even talked me into DMing the game!” He howls into the phone to Gareth, after Eddie had gone home, screamed into his pillow, and then frantically called his best friend.

"At least you can make date related jokes." Gareth replies, and he keeps swearing he’s not laughing, but he is, the traitor.

“That makes things worse, not better, Gare!”)

#steddie #Eddie gets the full Harrington Experience #dating #flirten #gay panik #poor eddie #he doesnt know whats gonna hit him #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #valentines day fic #the full things on AO3 #its just long af

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