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nothingbutsweetwords · 11 days

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ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ'ꜱ ꜱᴏɴ, ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ'ꜱ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ

ᴀᴇᴍᴏɴᴅ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ!ɴɪᴇᴄᴇ

"ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ʟᴀᴛᴇʟʏ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ..."

Word count: 3,800.

Fandom: House of the Dragon.

Pairing: Aemond x Reader!Velaryon!Niece.

MEETING - 1. Her.

Her legs, without any command and with an unstoppable perseverance, set off through the labyrinthine corridors of the red keep towards her mother's chambers long before the phrase fully reached her ears, the one she had so longed for: "The baby has been born, my princess."

Her family was her most loved treasure and when her mother announced the big news, time seemed to slow down. She couldn't wait to have that baby in her arms and cherish every second the gods, those she fervently prayed to, would allow her to spend with him.

Every night, in silent supplications, she repeated to any who would listen: "Please, let him be born healthy. Please, take care of my mother."

Rhaenyra painfully held in her heart the memory of her mother Aemma's early departure from the world. She wanted to shield her little ones from all fear and anguish, so she didn't dwell on details about that traumatic episode, one that, despite the years, remained as a deep and open wound. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop the whispers, those that seeped into her daughter's ears, creating such intense fear that she barely had room to breathe during those long nine months.

She felt a smile so wide it would ache her cheeks later and feet that weren't fast enough. Upon reaching the large wooden door, she took a few seconds to take a deep breath, calm her racing nerves, and finally push it open with determination.

Her entrance went unnoticed, as all eyes in the room were on the small human being now peacefully resting in her father's arms.

Except hers, no, those were on the woman sitting on the couch. Her forehead was beaded with sweat, her hair tousled and a tired expression adorned her face; yet never, in her short years on this earth, had she seen her so beautiful.

"Mother" she murmured almost voicelessly, taking her hands in hers and seeking her gaze. She felt her eyes sting, tears threatening to spill, and a lump forming in her throat. She wanted to speak again, but her voice got lost along the way. Fortunately, it wasn't necessary; Rhaenyra knew her as well as herself and could read her like an open book.

"My love, please, have no fear, we are okay" with those simple words, her lungs filled with air, swelling her chest. She let out a sigh, laden with relief, laden with love. She could only nod in response.

"Sister, look!" Jacaerys exclaimed, drawing her attention. He lifted the lid of the large steel chest, releasing steam and revealing a dragon egg.

"We choose an egg for the baby" Lucerys added.

"That looks like the perfect one, brothers" she said with a smile, though a bittersweet taste filled her mouth. Unlike her brothers, her own egg had never hatched, a disappointment she carried permanently with her, though she tried not to show it in these moments of happiness.

"I let Luke choose" he said, she messed up the younger one's hair and planted a kiss on his head.

"Thank you, Jace."

"Not every day an egg leaves the dragonpit, my princess, I thought it best to escort the lads" intervened Harwin Strong, adorned in his imposing armor and golden cloak. It didn't surprise her seeing him there; in fact, despite having a different last name, she considered him part of her family.

He was her protector, who always escorted her to her room, pampered her with luxurious books, and listened attentively to every word she said. She had more memories of him than of her own father, but she didn't complain; she knew he was a busy man. Harwin had tried to teach her the art of the sword, insisting on the importance of knowing how to defend herself, but she always found herself more interested in books. Besides, she had the feeling that he would never neglect watching her back.

"Laenor and I thank you, Commander" she heard her mother say.

"Father, may I see it?" she asked. Laenor knelt down, allowing the three of them to meet the new member of the family. It only took one look for him to completely captivate her. She mentally swore that nothing would ever harm him as long as she breathed. "What a fine knight you are going to make, eh?"

"Another boy, I heard" Harwin cleared his throat. "Might I?" he asked, seeking her mother's approval. She thought she saw a glimpse of the same relief that filled her eyes.

"Ser Harwin wishes to be introduced to Joffrey" she said, smiling. Upon hearing that name, her lips formed another smile. Of course, she would have been equally happy if it were a girl, but she was glad to still be the only one. It had its advantages.

"Of course" Laenor agreed. Rising, he gently placed Joffrey in Harwin's arms.

"Joffrey, is it?" her father nodded in agreement to the question.

"Mother, please may I hold Joffrey?" she asked excitedly, reaching out her arms towards him. A futile attempt, of course, the man in front of her easily doubled her height.

"No, mother, let me go first! I'm the strongest, I won't let him fall!" her twin brother vociferated.

"I won't let him fall either!" she countered.

Her younger brother joined in the pleas, arguing that he had the right because he was the youngest. Soon, the words melded into an indistinguishable uproar, as all three clamored in unison.

"No, no, no" her father hastened as Harwin turned his back to them, trying to prevent the disturbances from reaching the ears of the newborn.

"I think you left your septa waiting, my little lady, and back to the dragon pit for you two, before they send out a search party" he ushered the three younger ones out of the room, and gently pushed their shoulders, guiding them down the hallway. First, towards the room she had left only minutes ago, where her septa awaited along with Helaena, her mother's younger sister.

Her father left her at the door, and the expression on her face, the one she believed she was successfully hiding, betrayed her. Laenor crouched down to her height, gently taking her cheeks in his hands, making her look at him.

"You know, Leana had an egg that didn't hatch... and she didn't ride a dragon until she was five and ten. Now she rides Vhagar," he tried to cheer her up, "your time will come, dear daughter, I promise."

She was filled with hope at her father's promises. He always had the right words. She thanked the man she loved so much with a kiss on the cheek, and now with renewed energy, she entered the room.

Despite the repeated complaints from the septa, they remained on the floor; she leaned her back against the wall, while Helaena rested her head on her legs. She explored the pages of the book while playing with her hair, and when a passage caught her attention, she read it aloud to her aunt, who entertained herself by watching a long insect walk on her hands. They didn't share the same interests, not even could it be said that they understood each other, but they enjoyed each other's company and were grateful of having another princess of almost the same age as a confidante.

"This one has 60 rings and two pairs of legs on each. That's 240" remarked Helaena.

"Yes, you're right, I think... Did you know that Vhagar is 170 years old?" she responded, her eyes widening at the new information. "That's exceptional."

"The last ring doesn't have legs," Helaena pointed out, overlooking her niece, more interested in the insect "it has eyes, though I don't believe it can see."

She furrowed her brow. "Why is that so?"

"It's beyond our understanding."

She didn't know how much time they had spent in that position, but when she shifted her attention from the book due to noises approaching from the corridors, she noticed that the septa had already left and in her place was Alicent. The new companion was sitting a few meters away from them, holding a cup of tea and with her gaze lost in the window.

Suddenly, two king’s guards burst into the room, each holding one of Aemond's arms, alarming her.

"Your grace" they left without waiting for any response, closing the doors behind them.

"Aemond, what have you done?" Alicent approached him quickly, scrutinizing him, and exclaimed exasperatedly while gripping his shoulders firmly, "after how many times you’ve been warned, must I have you confined to your chambers?"

"They made me do it!" the young prince shouted in his defense.

"As if you needed encouragement. Your obsession with those beasts goes beyond understanding" she furrowed her brow again upon noticing the same phrase that had come out of Helaena's mouth minutes ago.

Returning her attention to the argument in front of her, she noted that the prince's platinum hair and his green garments were stained black. Realization fell into her, she widened her eyes, astonished. Had he really ventured into the dragon pit? Alone?

"They gave me a pig!"

"A what?" the queen asked.

"They said they found a dragon for me, but it was a pig" detailed, his voice breaking slightly.

She knew Aegon and she knew her brothers, and even though she was certain the last two had only been pawns used in the prank, a mixture of anger and disappointment washed over her. How could they tease and deceive the good prince in such a way? Worse still, with something that was also the cause of her tears.

"If he wants one, he'll have to close one eye" the princess beside her said, her gaze still fixed on the tiny entity. She spoke loud enough for only her to hear.

Her words were puzzling, and she didn't know how to interpret them. They could either indicate that she was still in her little world or suggest something deeper; it wouldn't be the first time for either option. She had heard her say... things before; at first, they seemed like mere nonsensical words, and suddenly something happened, something that reminded her of her words, something that led her to believe that her aunt had some kind of magic. No one had paid much attention to her when she shared her theory, dismissing it with disdain, saying they were just coincidences. But to her, it seemed like more than mere chance connections.

"Everyone laughed" Aemond murmured, trying to hide his sadness. Her anger now replaced by deep empathy. Alicent wrapped her arms around him, stroking his back.

The prince looked just as distressed as he left the hug and walked away as he did when he entered. It reminded her of her own feelings of desolation and loneliness, and she thought that there was no one in the kingdom who could understand her like he did. Not really.

She always had a special connection with Jace, a twin connection, as they enjoyed calling it. They understood each other with just looks, laughed at the same jokes, and shared the same tastes, except for the obvious; he loved his sword, she preferred her books. On the other hand, Luke had always been her little and spoiled one, her sweet and innocent child. That's why the situation had affected her so much. She didn't believe her brothers had meant to hurt Aemond, but they did anyway. They were insensitive, and she didn't want to see them grow up like Aegon, who with his character showed that he didn't know the true meaning of consequences.

It had been a few days since the incident in the pit and the birth of her brother, who was under the care of Diana, her mother's lady-in-waiting.

She tried not to lift her gaze from her plate and ate in silence, ignoring her brothers, offering them only monosyllabic responses. She was furious and intended to make it obvious. She huffed in frustration, trying to get her mother's attention so she could bring up the issue to the table.

"My dear, what troubles your mind?" she heard her mother ask as she gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

"Mother, have you heard about the incident in the dragon pit?" noticing her mother's concerned and confused look, she hurried to reassure her, "no one is hurt... not physically, at least."

"What happened?" her mother looked inquisitively at her sons, their heads looking down, ashamed.

"Jace, Luke, and Aegon played a prank on Prince Aemond. They told him they had a dragon for him and gave him a pig with wings, they even named it! Pink Dread." The children couldn't contain their laughter at the memory, which only made her angrier.

"Is that true?" her mother asked, wiping the smile from both their faces. It wasn't common to hear her upset or see her with a serious expression.

"It was just a joke!" Jace tried to justify.

"Aegon planned it!" Luke interjected.

"I don't want to hear justifications" she silenced them. "What if that joke had been towards your sister? Would you still be laughing?"

"It's different" Jace muttered, while Luke's lip trembled in a pout.

"No, it's not. Tomorrow during training, you will offer the appropriate apologies. From the heart. Aemond is family, and we must look out for each other. Isn't that so?"

"Yes, mother" they chorused, serious and repentant.

"Now you may retire to your chambers and think about what you've done," their mother pronounced, and before they could respond, she added, "no complaints." They nodded and left in silence.

"I think Aemond could use some kind words, don't you agree?" Rhaenyra suggested minutes later, breaking the silence. She responded with a smile, thanking her for understanding the importance of this to her. "Who better than you to do it?" She rose from her seat and embraced her gently, for she could see her still in pain. She planted a kiss on her forehead, the kind she cherished so much.

"Rest, mother. I'll ask the maester to make you some tea."

She smiled after hearing her daughter, thinking that any pain felt and to be felt would be an insignificant price to pay considering all she had gained. Jace, the next heir to the throne, who would reign with peace and intelligence; Luke and Joffrey, who would be the greatest and most honorable knights; and her daughter, her eternal and sweet companion.

There was no need to ask questions; she knew where to find him. A few floors up was the library, her second room, her refuge, where the world became a little quieter and she could transport herself to other times, places and lives.

She ascended the long stairs quickly, and within minutes, she stood at the door. This hallway had always been one of the least traveled, practically deserted, except for them and the king’s guards. It seemed there weren't many avid readers in the keep.

They used to be at opposite ends of the table, immersed in each of their books. She had always wanted to talk to him, ask him what he was reading and maybe ask him to teach her High Valyrian. However, she never did; she had been too shy in his presence, and Aemond's distant form didn't help. Perhaps he was shy like her.

Or perhaps he simply didn't want to talk to her.

She tried to push those thoughts to the back of her mind as she entered the library. She smiled to herself when she saw she hadn't been wrong.

"Good morrow, uncle" she announced her arrival as she headed to the usual shelf and picked up the book she had left halfway through a few days ago.

"Good morrow, niece" he responded with his usual seriousness.

She walked to the table and hesitated. Should she sit closer to him this time? She didn't want to invade his space, but she also didn't believe that a conversation should start at a distance.

She arrived at the table before deciding and stood there for a few seconds. She ended up placing her book at the usual spot and sat down, feeling uncomfortable.

Why was she feeling this way? She wasn't the one who played a distasteful joke, besides, he was family; they had grown up together in the castle, it shouldn't be so difficult.

Suddenly, she felt warmth engulf her when she noticed Aemond looking at her, puzzled. With the book still closed, her cheeks turned red as she realized she had been staring at him all this time, lost in her thoughts. She mentally cursed herself and searched for the page she was on. He looked away, not saying a word.

Her mother had asked her to talk to him and she had really wanted to, so she didn't understand why she found it so hard to approach him.

She audibly sighed and abruptly closed her book. He did the same seconds later. As always.

It was curious; every time they were here, they seemed… united, connected in their readings; when she finished, he did too, shortly after. They put away their books, and he walked to the exit, hurriedly, and then held the door, patiently waiting for her to exit. They parted ways upon reaching the floor of their chambers, all without exchanging a word other than greetings or thanks.

The king and the queen did a good job with him and Helaena. She couldn't say the same about Aegon, unfortunately.

She knew it was only a matter of seconds before he got up from his chair, so, with her book in hand, marched towards him.

Aemond furrowed his brow; he didn't seem upset, rather bewildered by the new proximity when she took the seat to his right and opened her book again, an action he imitated seconds later.

She found it impossible to read; she observed the page, but the words blurred together as her mind was occupied with something else. How should she start? It was clear they had something in common. Two things, in fact. Long conversations weren't necessary to know it, so she ventured there.

She cleared her throat, trying to get his attention, without success. Then, timidly, she placed her hand on his, causing an immediate reaction.

He remained still, stunned by her movements. He just looked at her, with eyes wider than usual. It was then that she realized how different they were from the rest of their family. Her grandsire, her mother, Aegon, Helaena, they all had eyes as clear as the sky on a sunny day. But not him, his were darker, bluer, with a trace of purple in them. As deep as the sea, and as beautiful as a sapphire. His hair was straighter, platinum, and even softer, she would dare to say.

How she wished to have the Targaryen attributes, just as distinctive as they were beautiful. Another one of her biggest insecurities and sorrows. It wasn't uncommon for people to be surprised when they saw her and her siblings next to their parents, as they hadn't inherited such beauty. They were equally pale, but with a tumultuous mane, full of curls, of the darkest black and eyes sometimes green, sometimes brown.

Once again, she felt the red fill her cheeks, her gaze lost in him as her thoughts swirled.

"Do you know that my father's sister also had an unhatched egg? Just like us," she said, softly, looking him in the eyes and trying to comfort him, "now she's the rider of Vhagar, the oldest, largest, and most feared dragon in the entire kingdom."

She waited for a response that didn't come. "I like to believe that our wait will be rewarded, don't you?" then added. He only nodded, almost imperceptibly, without taking his eyes off hers, "I wanted to apologize."

Now with a confused look, Aemond finally decided to respond, "why?"

"They shouldn't have done it... It was cruel." Understanding dawned on him.

"No need to apologize for something that you did not do, niece." She couldn't help but smile at his words. Was he always so serious and formal? She thought he was like an adult trapped in the body of a little boy. An old soul.

"Can I ask you something?" she inquired.

"Yes, of course."

"Did you really enter the dragon pit? Alone?" she asked, curious. She noticed his face changing, a smirk of pride forming, his lips curling up into a small smile as he straightened up in his chair, now more upright.

"Yes, I did."

"Did you see any?"

"Yes, but it was too dark to know which one..." he began, with a spark in his eyes, and noticing her attentive gaze, he decided to continue "it throwed fire in my direction" he added, her eyes wider than before, conveying her astonishment.

"Gods! You must have been so terrified."

"Not really" he simply responded.

"That was... you're incredibly brave, my prince. I wouldn't have had the courage" she said and received a wide smile in return. She had never called him "my prince" before and she had never seen him smile.

She continued to listen attentively. No history book had ever excited her as much as the prince's adventures, and seeing him so enthusiastic about telling them filled her chest with something she didn't know how to name. Something warm. She liked it.

Despite it being their first real conversation, and the first time they looked each other in the eyes, there was a mutual understanding, a connection, different, special. One that went beyond being dragonless riders or relatives raised under the same roof.

It seemed to her that only a few minutes had passed when she felt a knock on the doors and a voice announcing that it was supper time and Alicent awaited for her son's presence. Both of them showed disappointment at the interruption; he seemed to have so much more to say and she hadn't had enough of his words. She thought she could listen to him for the rest of her days.

"Forgive me, niece, I must have tired your ears," he said before standing up, "and I didn't ask about your stories; you must think me rude." His words elicited a laugh from her lips, as it couldn't be further from the truth.

"Not at all, I would have liked to keep listening to you. Besides, I don't have stories as brave as yours, and I wouldn't want to bore you to exhaustion" she replied.

Once they had put the books back in their place, they walked to the door.

"I do not think that's possible" Aemond communicated with his hand on the doorknob. There was silence as they descended the stairs with the guards behind them.

"Goodnight, my princess" he said once they reached the floor, calling her that way for the first time.

"Goodnight, my prince."

"Perhaps tomorrow we could... continue?" It came out almost as a whisper from Aemond's lips. A smile on hers.

"Nothing would make me happier."

#aemond x reader #aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #house of the dragon #house targaryen #prince aemond #aemond one eye #hotd fanfic #hotd aemond #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x female reader #aemond targaryen fluff

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waltermis · 5 months

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Stay, Stay, Stay

Summary: You & Natasha share a comforting moment

Warnings: hurt/comfort

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader (romantic)

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NATASHA!! ❤️❤️

↠↠↠

Natasha sighed, cutting her peanut butter sandwich. She listened to Rocket, Nebula, and the rest of the remaining avengers argue from across the universe. It’s been five years since the snap. Five years since Thanos. Five years since the Avengers officially split up. Five years since she lost Yelena. Five years since everything… But no matter how much time passed, she couldn’t let this life go.

“Carol, are we seeing you here next month?”

“Not likely,”

“What? You gonna get another haircut?” Rocket teased.

“Listen, fur face. I’m covering a lot of territory. The things that are happening on Earth are happening everywhere. On thousands of planets.”

“Uh, all right. All right. That’s a good point. That’s a good point.”

“So, you might not see me for a long time.”

“All right. Uh well, this channel's always active. So, if anything goes sideways… anyone’s making trouble where they shouldn’t… comes through me.” Natasha stated, before Rocket, Okoye, Carol’s channels disappeared, leaving Rhodey. “Where are you?” she asked him.

“Mexico. The Federales found a room full of bodies. Looks like a bunch of cartel guys never even had a chance to get their guns off.”

“It’s probably a rival gang,” Natasha denied quickly.

“Except it isn’t. It’s definitely Barton… what he’s done here, what he’s been doing for the last few years. I mean, the scene that he left…I gotta tell you there’s a part of me that doesn’t even want to find him.”

“Will you find out where he’s going next?” she asked, taking a bit of her sandwich, tears filling her eyes, threatening to spill.

“Nat?”

“Please?” she asked, quietly. She looked so vulnerable, her eyes glassy and nose red from holding back tears.

“Okay,” he sighed, before leaving the channel.

Natasha sighed, trying her hardest not to cry. She missed him, Clint, he was her best friend. One of the first few people that truly trusted her. When she met Clint’s family, they welcomed her in with open arms. They were like her second family; finding out that they were blipped broke her heart. She couldn’t imagine what Clint was going through.

‘God, this is a fucking mess.’ She thought, wrapping her arms around herself. Taking a bite out of her sad excuse of a sandwich, Natasha’s senses picked up the sound of wheels rolling against the hardwood floor. Natasha furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, watching you hauling two big blue luggage, she’s never seen before, through the common room. “Moya lyubov’, where are you going?” You ignored her, continuing to grab the luggage’s outside. “Detka? Are you okay?!” Still nothing. Natasha began to panic; thoughts of you finally realizing that you deserved better clawed their way into her brain. “Dorogaya? Can we talk about this? Please!”

“Babe?” you asked, coming back. “What’re you doing in here? I thought you were gonna use Meeting room A today… W-why’re you crying?” you asked, wrapping her up in your arms. She didn’t even notice the tears that streamed down her face.

“Please don’t leave me! I promise I’ll spend more time with you, just please don’t go…” she cried into your chest, her words muffled as she tugged you into her, her grip tight.

“What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere,”

“Then why are you taking your luggage outside?!” she wailed, her nails digging further into you, afraid that you’d leave the second she loosened her grip.

“What? Those aren’t mine.”

“Huh?” she sobbed out. “Then whose are those?”

“They’re Tony’s, from when he and Pepper used to live here. They still have a bit of stuff here they haven’t moved to the cabin yet, he wanted me to finally bring it over for him.” you explained slowly, knowing that the lack of sleep was finally catching up on your redheaded girlfriend.

“Then what about you ignoring me?” she asked softly, her grip finally loosening.

“I was listening to music,” you showed her the air pods still in your ears. “I couldn’t hear you. I didn’t even know you were in here. I thought you decided to use one of the meeting rooms instead. You know I would never intentionally ignore you,”

Natasha nodded; her eyes grew heavier listening to the soothing sound of your voice. “Promise me you’ll never leave me.” she begged, tilting her head up to look into your eyes.

“I promise, there is nothing in this world that would make me leave you. Ever.” you promised, pecking her on the lips.

“I love you; you know that right?”

“Of course, I do, and I love you too. To Vormir and back.”

“Where’s that?” she asked sleepily, her head thudding on your chest again.

“Not sure… just came into my head.” you laughed, picking her up in your arms. You brought her back to your shared bedroom, placing her underneath the covers.

“Stay,” she said, grabbing a hold of your arm.

“Of course.” Bringing her into your arms, you placed a firm kiss on her head, letting sleep envelope the two of you.

↠↠↠

864 words

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #mcu #marvel #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n

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hunnylagoon · 2 months

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Candy

PT1: Sober to Death

Ellie Williams x Reader

I’m home and here to stay like a ghost to haunt. You can’t shake me off your back for I linger in your head like carelessly uttered curse. Summer falls to ashes in my mouth and so I will spit them into your urn, just like that all of my devotion turns violent.

Premise: After a mental break you are being held together by nothing but glitter glue and craft yarn. You seek refuge with an old friend in a coastal town to live the life you thought you left behind.

Warnings: SENSITIVE THEMES / reader is a recovered addict / mentions of drug and alcohol abuse / angst / brief mentions of violence / possibly triggering discussions of drug addiction

Read at your own discretion

Inside me, something seethes. Inside me, some feral animal has been forced into a cage where it thrashes and screams. Perhaps I will turn into a snarling wolf and rip out the throats of each girl who made me go home crying in middle school. Maybe I will don the pelt of a sheep and surprise all of those who convinced me it was a good idea to try ketamine when I shed my cloak and reveal my long curled claws and fangs sharp as knives.

I'm heartless at worst and helpless at best.

I don't know how else to be. I was raised like a stick of dynamite lit from both ends and I can describe in detail how the earth warps beneath my feet or how I watch the sky bend until it snaps and collapses onto a body too tired to lift it back up.

Everything miles ahead of what I was, to them, I was only ever an addict. Cursed with the nickname 'popper' since tenth grade and everyone thought it to be nothing more than a joke they didn't know how I found serenity in the tablet of acid that rested on my tongue.

It started with pot and drinking on the weekends then flew into full-blown benders when I swallowed back synthetic sunshine like it was candy. None of my friends thought I would end up with my back plastered on my dorm floor, eyes wide with what once was a bottle of pills frothing out of my mouth.

It took me two overdoses to get here, had to put my white blood cells to work.

"I didn't think you'd be up this early," Joel smiled at me, he was nursing a mug of coffee, a plate in front of him with a half-eaten piece of toast and a golden yoke running onto the porcelain. That might've been my favourite thing about the farm, fresh eggs. Once you have them you can never go back to the sad pale grocery store eggs.

"That makes two of us," I pulled out a chair from the wooden dining table and sat down. Joel had put so much love into this home. These days I’m too nauseous to eat breakfast.

"Ellie doesn't even wake up this early," He took a slug of his black coffee, the scent was strong, filling up the entire house, I could smell it the second I woke up. "How's the room? Is everything to your liking?"

I had felt so guilty for free-loading off Joel whom I hadn't seen since I was twelve, it had been eight years. He sent me cards on my birthday every year but I never was able to grasp how close our parents had been. I'm pretty sure I was friends with Ellie when I was little, there were pictures of the two of us hugging each other and playing beneath sprinklers, my front teeth missing, Ellie covered head to toe in Spider-Man band-aids. I didn't have any recollection of us when we were close, as we got older we got more stiff around each other. When my family would visit, she would hang out with her friends and I would keep to myself. Of course, my parents moved us to the city where everything hit me too hard all at once. "It's perfect, thank you."

"It's pretty hard to peel yourself off that mattress, huh?" Joel smiled at me, showing me every ounce of warmth he had when I was a child.

I nod in response "So much more comfortable than those stiff dorm mattresses," It almost felt like I was making conversation with a ghost.

"Since you're up so early, care for a tour while I do some chores?" He asked. I had been here a few days already, though I just kept to myself I didn't want to impose on his pleasant life with his daughter who hadn't called him at three am sobbing because she had too many opioids. I had wandered briefly around the farm of course and I had remembered bits and pieces of it from my childhood but I felt so out of place that I mainly locked myself inside of my temporary room and lived through my friend's Instagram stories.

"I'd love to," I smile politely, unsure of what else to do.

"Do you think you're gonna go back to school?" Joel asked as he stood up with his plate and mug in hand and began to wash them in the stainless steel sink. "No pressure, there's life outside of a lecture hall."

This was a question I had been thinking about day in and day out. I was a year and then some into getting my degree when my 'fun habits' began spiralling uncontrollably. My parents had managed to snag me a two-year deferral so I could go to rehab and go back to school the following year but I was so full of shame that I shook with the thought of going back. For the first time in my life, I am afraid I have no real desires.

When I was dead inside a motel bathtub, I thought I needed to be somewhere different but now that I'm there, I need to be someone different too. "I'm not really sure right now, just please don't tell my parents I said that."

"Secrets safe with me," He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bag of cat food, shaking it until a scrawny calico cat appears out of thin air. Pepper happily devours the food Joel puts in her little bowl. I remembered Pepper, she was a kitten way back then and I would cut open socks to make clothes for her. "You should just know that it's never too late."

Very early in my life, it was too late. "Thanks, Joel," Not yet a corpse and still I rot like all of my ambitions turn to sludge at my tired feet.

He looks around, exhaling a deep breath, trying to scope out anything else he has to do in the kitchen. "You outta get geared up, I'm gonna wake up Ellie then me and you can get to work."

I nod in agreement even though I'm not sure what he means by 'gear up' so I figure that's just him saying to put on a hoodie and some rain boots. I stand awkwardly by the door, waiting for Joel. Absentmindedly I rock back and forth on my heels hands clasped together. I'm twenty years old but I feel like I'm twelve again, trying to find a place for myself in someone else's life.

I thought of the last time I was in this house. I was twelve, unaware of the future that awaited me, I had buried a time capsule with Ellie and her cousins somewhere on this property. Writing to my future self, talking about all of the things I should be. If only she saw the brain-rotten zombie that was her destiny.

My parents had told everyone back home I was backpacking across Australia and taking a break from academics to see the world. In the eyes of those who knew me well and were more than aware of what happened, it was a shame to them that I had wasted a sharp brain and a pretty face. It takes a whole lot of strength the endure myself.

It doesn't take long for Joel to walk back down the creaky stairs, Ellie trailing behind him, sleep in her eyes. She's in boxers and one of Joel's old t-shirts, hair still messy and unbrushed. Ellie yawns and gives me a little wave- it wasn't really a wave, just her raising a hand in my direction as an acknowledgment.

We hadn't spoken much since I got here, I had met her in the past but we didn't know each other. A lot can change in eight years. She wasn't unfriendly toward me, we indulged in small talk and laughed at each other's jokes but each conversation was so shallow I wanted to lay face down and drown in them.

Ellie goes straight for the fridge, unlike her dad, she pours milk into a sickly sweet cereal which seems cavity-inducing. She was back from college for the summer, taking advantage of her father's love and food. Joel walked over to where I was standing at the door, slipping into his mucking boots. "While you're both here," He says before looking at me "How much do you know about boats?"

I furrow my eyebrows "A good bit I guess?" I answer, figuring he was just trying to rekindle a spark between Ellie and me that had been put out eight years ago by rain, ocean spray, and vodka.

"Y'know, Els," He gestures towards me "This one used to work at her parent's marina, they tell me she's done a couple of repairs and I bet she could give you some pointers on how to fix up that boat." I'm confused by his words, this is the first I've heard about a boat. Joel can see the uncertainty on my face "Her uncle gave her a piece of shit boat last summer before she went back to school, over the year I guess some teenagers thought it was a good hideout and trashed it even more."

"Seriously?" Her head pokes up "It would be great if you could come down with me later, she just needs a little love," Ellie spoons some cereal into her mouth. I had always thought it weird how people spoke about their boats like they were women, I even caught myself doing it on occasion. "Only if you want to, of course."

"Sure," I agree, no idea how much repair this boat was in need of "I've got nothing better to do."

I could tell Joel counted this as a win. I knew he had been commuting with my parents and how desperately they wanted me to keep myself occupied for the summer. "Well, we've got some work to do, kiddo."

After a solid five hours of following Joel around like a duckling and re-learning all the names of the animals, I was walking with Ellie toward her pickup truck. "Wanna drive?" She asks as we walk to the long beaten driveway

"Oh, I can't." The coolness of the morning has ebbed away into a borderline unbearable heat, I wasn't sure how Ellie was absolutely unfazed in her Jeans, T-shirt, and trucker hat.

"You never got your licence?"

"No, it got taken away."

She cracks a grin "Jeez, what did you do? Hit a pedestrian?" Ellie teases.

"Something like that," Truthfully, my licence got revoked after I got a DUI and swerved my car off the highway, I was too high to realize the danger I was in and laughed the entire time warm blood pooled from a gash in my head that had to be stapled shut. Luckily my parents can throw money at anything and the problem will go away.

She hops in the truck, there are little bits and pieces of it that show how it's lived in. A rubber duck with sunglasses sits on the dashboard and I'm partially surprised it hasn't melted in the sweltering heat.

As beautiful and scenic as the drive down to the docks is, it's also extremely awkward, only on my end, Ellie seems completely unfazed. Travelling down the dirt roads until we finally hit the pavement.

The salty breeze of Andromeda Cove carries conversations of clubbing and tanning, mingling with the sweet scent of coconut sunscreen and sea salt. Colourful beach umbrellas dot the shoreline. Seagulls glide effortlessly overhead, their calls blending seamlessly with the distant laughter of beachgoers. Quaint shops and cafes line the bustling boardwalk, offering an array of surfboards, souvenirs, and freshly caught seafood delicacies.

The Cove was immune to those gross and bland modern buildings that looked like something I would've made in Minecraft as a kid. Everything down here was local and kept its charm even after all these years. "Do you ever miss it here?"

"I don't remember much of it to be honest."

"Really?" She asks, taking a turn down to the docks "It doesn't seem like it was that long ago."

"Yeah, my memory just isn't very good." My lungs are burnt and my brain is fried. You could tell me that I was in cheerleading for five years of my life and I would probably believe you.

"Alright."

I hadn't remembered her being this quiet but then again I don't remember much, I should probably write down everything I can before Alzheimer's sets in. There are lapses in my mind where memories should live, I recall my life through glimpses.

Ellie takes her keys out of the ignition and hops out of the truck, leading me down the docks. I keep guessing in my head which boat belongs to her and then the second I spot it, I know and how I dread. It's a sailboat or what's left of one, sharpie graffiti scribbled all around it. The word 'wanderlust' had once been titled along the side though the first half was scratched out by what I assume were those teenagers Joel mentioned so it just said 'lust'.

Ellie had no problem climbing aboard, I on the other hand had doubts that it could support the weight of two people, let alone itself. There were chips of white paint scraped off, Ellie motioned for me to get on deck "How long has this been abandoned?"

She waves me off "There's freedom that comes with abandonment."

I raise an eyebrow "Sinking in a boat that's docked is a very lame way to die."

"Nah," She says "We can haunt the marina."

She holds out her hand for me to take it and with hesitation, I do. Stepping over the gap between the dock and the boat, I haul myself over the rails. Even in the dark, I could make that climb, it was almost like muscle memory from working at my parents marina summer after summer. "She's a beauty, yeah? In her own special kind of way," Ellie pats the side of the companionway. "I actually made some progress on it last summer, if you can believe me."

"I don't know if I can," I look around, following her as we duck into the saloon.

She reaches for a notebook with a pink sharpie clipped onto it on the table of the saloon and turns to face me "Whoever was here must've been a real wordsmith, what I can't figure out is how the words got out of the notebook and onto my walls."

I crawl onto the cushioned V-berth to get a better look at all of the writing on the walls. Most of it had been poetry, not Edgar Allen Poe but the kind that only an angsty teenage girl on the verge of a mental break could've written.

The Statue of Juliette:

May I ask what you have done to women?

That your hands have only learned to harm one

Hand after filthy hand

Is dragged

Groped

Caressed

Prodded

Over my rusted skin

The things I have seen

The things I have endured

No water can clean me

No blanket can warm me

Take a hammer to my bronze flesh

And I will thank you for your kindness

As my body crumbles and clatters against cobblestone

I am eternally grateful

For this is the gentlest act I have ever faced

"I know," Ellie says, and I look back to meet her sharp gaze "A real Sylvia Plath.”

"Is this your candle?" I reach for it on the ground, it's halfway through its life. A vanilla bean bath and bodyworks candle.

She takes it from my hand and gives it a sniff "I was wondering why it smelled so good in here, I just thought that was you." She places the candle back onto the saloon table "So, Neptune's daughter, where should we start?"

I snatch the notebook from the table and flip it open to a page clean of any writing. It takes a little less than fifteen minutes to seek out all of the trouble spots. Ellie followed behind me and nodded to everything that I was saying.

The boat isn't in nearly as bad of condition as I expected. I suspected that the teenagers who occupied it while Ellie was away at college had all been girls, they took relatively good care of the boat aside from the graffiti, allegedly most of the damage had been there when Ellie got it from Tommy a year ago.

We now sat next to each other in the booth around the saloon table, the ocean rocked the boat beneath us ever so gently, the same way a mother would rock her child's cradle. I missed the sea when I was in college, on a bender I had driven three hours just to be back with it, it seemed the only safe place to let go and be reborn. I liked the sharpness of the air, the vastness of the horizon and the mystery beneath it. I thought I would rise from the seafoam a new woman the same way Aphrodite did but no, I threw up on the sandy shores and called my parents to make it go away.

I give the notebook over to Ellie, a new entry written in bright pink Sharpie amongst the poetry and anecdotes.

Wanderlust's issues:

Mainsail and jib seem sketchy; Unfold the hoist for a full assessment

Wiring issues are out of my hands but a probable concern-should probably call in an expert

Nav instruments are cracked

Leaks on starboard window, probs cracked moulding

Interior woodwork is original, mainly solid despite a bit of mildew

Graffiti and chipped paint, graffiti likely cleanable (May need a new coat of paint)

Possible rigging issues

Underside? That's a question for the experts

Final Verdict: Wanderlust is a seaworthy vessel in need of some love

Ellie lets out a low whistle "God, I love a girl who knows the difference between a mainsail and a jib." She cracks a mischievous grin.

"You're teetering very close between sexy and crass," I tease her in return.

She seems a little taken aback by my comment, like she hadn't anticipated a response but ignores it nonetheless "What would it take to make you my first mate?"

"I'm sorry?"

"For someone with a bad memory, you seem to know your boats, Joel said that you used to work on charters. You gotta know more about sailing than me. It'll be a fun summer project, get you out of the house a bit."

I furrow my eyebrows as I look at her "You want me to work on the boat with you?"

Ellie nodded. She didn't rush to fill the silence that stretched between us, she didn't bother to sweeten the deal or hunt for some reason I would like working with her. She just let it stand. I looked her in the eyes, trying to figure her out. She goes from being almost non-verbal with me and now she asks me to spend the summer on a boat with her. I wondered if she knew what she was doing at all and if I would be carrying her through this.

I had a feeling that Ellie would become my next bad habit. It's easy to get addicted when everything interests you and nothing satisfies you. "I'm in."

"You won't regret this," Ellie almost jumps up, I swear I could've seen her making calculations in her head "So, I'm thinking we get rid of all this junk and get a good look at it bare bones, make a list of supplies and give her the spa day shes in desperate need of."

On my second day as first mate, I had been scrubbing away inside of the saloon while Ellie did some work on the exterior, my Scrub Daddy was being put to work. By the time I even made a dent in all of the Sharpie poetry, it was nearly falling apart and begging to be killed.

When I emerged from the companionway to replace my filthy bucket of water I spotted Ellie chatting up a girl on a dock. She had long glossy black hair that cascaded down her back in strategic ringlets. "So you're gonna sail on this thing?"

"Rebuilding her first," Ellie tells her, leaning against the railing. The girl she's speaking to looks like she's freezing, denim shorts cropped high and a white tank top.

"Do you need help?" She smiles and even I'm seduced by it. She has tanned skin that she's clearly been working on and sunglasses pushing back the silky hair from her forehead. "I've been on boats, lots of times," Her arms are crossed over her chest. I can see goosebumps all over her legs from the chill brought to us by the gray sky above and the frigid air.

"That so?" Ellie asks, rising to her full height. A wrench in hand, it looks like the beginning of a really bad movie, not a family-friendly one. She saw me then, standing behind her. I watched her facade drop. Her smile changed as I approached, turning from flirt to friend in two seconds.

"Oh, hey," The black-haired girl regards me like I'm some kind of threat. "So do you need help or what?"

Ellie looks at me and then back to her "Thanks for the offer but we're all set."

"Do you maybe wanna grab lunch or something?" She completely ignores me.

Ellie shakes her head "We've got lots of work to do, but-" She takes a deliberate pause and I almost cringe "I'll probably be at the shipwreck later. Stop by if you're around."

"See ya'," She grins and takes the sunglasses off the top of her head, placing them on the nose bridge before walking back down the dock.

"Wow," I dump my bucket of water over the rail of the boat "Looks like super difficult work out here, you are so brave." Sarcasm drips from my tone "Without you, who will flirt with all of the hot girls at the marina?"

"No need to be jealous," She says "I'm spending every waking minute with you after all."

I gave her the evil eye but I truly wasn't jealous. I didn't chase the thrill of a fling or late nights with girls whom I would forget by morning. I had dropped that by college and replaced it with ketamine and opioids, I abused liquor like I was its two-faced love. Now the only thing I chased was calmness.

I wasn't jealous, just briefly reminiscing over how carefree I used to be.

The tide was rolling and the sky above us was gray and angry as if something was raging within it. "Shit," I mutter, waves shifting from a distant hiss to a closer hush. The air hung heavy, I hadn't even noticed the change in weather from what seemed like the century I spent scrubbing away in the saloon.

Ellie must've noticed what I was. "So, I'm thinking we should go?"

"You think?" I retort.

Moments later we're packed and rushing down the dock to find her truck. It doesn't take long for rain to begin to splatter on the ground beneath us, it isn't light and gentle, it's harsh. It sounds like pebbles being tossed onto a sheet of glass.

By the time we reach the truck, I'm soaked, hair sticking to my forehead and neck "You didn't want to poke your head into the saloon and say 'Hey, it's looking like there's gonna be a storm'?"

"I was a little preoccupied," Ellie isn't much better off than I am, she takes off the flannel she had on top of her tank top and tosses it into the backseat, her tattoo out on full display. The rain is so heavy that everything on the outside of her truck looks like a blur.

"Can you even drive in this?"

"No, can you?"

"No, I told you I have a DUI," The second the words leave my mouth I regret the slip-up. My eyes go wide and a hand slaps over my mouth, I'm acting like I just told her I was the one who took out JFK.

"You didn't tell me that."

"Well," I look forward, ignoring her piercing gaze, "I thought I did."

If not for the rain outside that pounded against the glass as if it wanted to be let in, we would've sat in complete silence while we drowned beneath all of the words going unsaid. My mind begins to wonder, first I think of the black-haired girl at the docks; I hope she didn't get stuck outside in the rain, especially with her lack of clothing. Then I think about what Ellie's thinking, did she know already? Had Joel told her? I'm humiliated all over again like I'd been when the paramedics dragged my half-naked body out of a bathtub.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asks. I don't say anything and she takes this as a hint "We don't have to talk about it."

I'm beginning to grow comfortable with the silence. I almost preferred it to the back-and-forth banter Joel and Ellie constantly had, which was more so father and daughter teasing each other.

Joel had probably known more about me than I did, my parents liked to keep him filled in after all. They just loved to keep tabs on me, if it was legal I'm sure they would put cameras behind my retinas and watch my every move. Eight months ago when I was in rehab, that was the most peace I've ever felt. As much as my parents wanted me clean, they held resentment since I ruined my life and was destroying theirs by association. Joel didn't seem like the type to gossip to his daughter but it nagged at me regardless. "Did Joel tell you anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just-like," I search through my brain to find the words "Like what I've been up to?"

She shrugged "He just said you are on a deferral and need a break from the city."

"Okay," I say, my voice so quiet it was almost smothered by the obnoxious rain.

"Are you hungry?"

We had thrown on two jackets Ellie had in the back seat of the cars. She offered me Joel's black raincoat while she humbly took the bright yellow rain poncho. It took everything in me not to laugh at her, she looked like Georgie.

Ellie slung one arm around me, we were both hunched over as we ran as fast as we could. She was shouting stuff at me but I couldn't hear her through the rain, I just nodded in agreement and hoped she hadn't said something awful.

She tugged me left, the deluge chasing us into Salty's for cover. It was nearly dead in there, two other tables, one was an elderly couple and the other was a group of girls, laughing like hyenas while one of them showed the others a picture on her phone.

Ellie wasted no time in taking off her poncho and I didn't blame her, no one wanted to be seen in that. The second we settled into a booth by the huge glass window which took up the entire storefront, an over-eager waiter came up. He was tall, had dark hair and had handsome features, he must've been bored with how slow it was in here. "Hey, Jesse," Ellie said "Can I have water and a big-buck burger?"

He nodded and swerved his body to look at me, "Alright and for you-" He looked up from his notepad and paused for a moment before a huge smile cracked on his face "I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Hi," I smiled, my mouth hanging openly awkwardly as I tried to recall him.

"Do you remember me?" He asked, his hand dropping to his side "Jesse," He reminded "We used to go to school together."

I had no idea who he was "Oh my god, yes!" I say "I remember."

His smile grows "God, you look so different."

"You too," I gesture at him "You're way more-" My mind falls flat "Grown."

He nods along to my words "Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Wanting this conversation as soon as possible I nod despite not even opening the menu “Yeah, I'll just get the, uh, big-buck and a club soda.” I repeated Ellie's order.

He jots it down onto his notepad "It'll be right up."

"Ellie, I don't know who that is," I say when I see him retreat to the server station to fill in the order. The entire restaurant is nautical-themed, the walls painted black, and there were nets with faux fish covering every square inch of the ceiling.

"Wow, I had no idea," She says, sarcastically "Damn, your memory really is fucked."

Trust me, I know or at least I think I do. I disregard her comment "Water? Don't you wanna get rootbeer or something? Joel said you drink so much soda that your blood is made of corn syrup."

She grins "Gotta keep up the tough guy act."

Across the restaurant one of the girls waves to Ellie, this one has curly brown hair and a sundress "Hi, Ellie!"

Her eyebrows furrow "Hey there-um...you," Ellie said "Good to see you again."

The girl smiles slyly at Ellie before turning back to her friends. "Looks like I'm not the only one forgetting people, what's your excuse?"

"There's a lot of girls in the world, I can't remember all of their names."

"You must've gone through every girl in the cove, power to ya'," I say "No idea you had such a reputation."

"You don't know a lot about me."

I shrug "You know even less about me."

"I bet I could guess."

"Be my guest."

She leans back like she's carefully considering her next words, choosing them very wisely before she finally settles "You picked a major like communications and got bored quickly, decided you needed to do some soul searching. Probably read 'Eat, Prey, Love,' then went on a backpacking trip, expenses paid by your parents. Alternatively, you lived in a van and pretended to be a broke hippie."

I shook my head "Very cliche and you were only right about one thing."

"What?"

"I got bored quickly," The rain outside was failing to cease. Across from me, it looked like Ellie was calculating my every move. Her auburn hair was still wet, and from her hairline, a droplet of water dribbled down onto her button nose to rest on her cupid bow.

"Can I have a hint then?"

"No."

I see a realisation hit her "You partied with frat guys?"

I shook my head "I've always been too cool for them." I wasn't too cool for them, I was too fucked up to even know they were throwing a party until someone verbally informed me, by that point all I've ever done at a frat party was break in through a window and steal a keg like the disgusting fiend I was. It was nothing to be proud of, my friends thought it was hilarious and posted it on their Snapchat stories, egging me on and feeding into this sickening behaviour. What wasn't funny was how I got caught and winded up with a busted lip and broken rib. With pupils the size of my iris, I couldn't feel the pain I was in.

"Okay, now you have to tell me."

"I can't, I lose my mysterious allure."

The bell above the door chimes signalling the arrival of another customer and said customer makes a b-line for our table. She takes a seat next to Ellie "Jesse texted me that you were here.”

"Dina, were you at work?" Ellie furrows her eyebrows.

"Yeah, it's not like anyone's buying souvenirs right now and Jesse told me you finally came back," She whips her head to look over at me.

I genuinely remembered her, unlike Jesse. She had buried the time capsule with Ellie, her family and I. I also recalled how her older sister used to give us hand-me-down clothes. "Dina, hi."

She has freckles scattered across her face the same way that Ellie does. Her smile was so comforting, I forgot that I was soaked to my bones and shivering. "Well we should all do something together tonight," Dina grins "You're doing Ellie a huge favour by helping her fix that rig, she better give you some good head for it."

I almost choke on my saliva while Ellie just groans with disappointment like she had anticipated Dina saying something along those lines "D, you can't say that stuff around every girl I'm with, this is essentially my sister for the summer."

Dina raises her hands in defence "Sorry, my bad, I was unaware since you failed to mention that you have my old friend living with you." Ellie looks like she's going to say something but Dina speaks up again before she has the chance to "Let me give you my number."

Wordlessly, I hand my phone over to Dina who fills out her contact information and then gives my phone right back to me. I study Dina's face and her mannerisms, hoping that something might bring me back to my childhood which has been wiped away by every upper and downer you could put a name to. Something about her seemed familiar, maybe we had been closer friends than I thought.

I nod along to whatever she and Ellie are saying, chiming in random bits of dialogue but my mind is stuck on the two of them side by side. They're what I could've been if my family never moved us away and I hadn't turned my brain into sludge.

The life I could've had.

Ellie smoked from what I knew, maybe Dina or Jesse were into something a little more hardcore. Hardcore? If hardcore qualifies as drowning in a concoction of cough syrup, Vicodin, codeine, and Gatorade to balance out the flavour of self-destruction. The bottles I swallowed to sleep, I showed up to almost every lecture high. Here I was handed what was nearly a good life and I tossed it away for something with a sweeter taste than a stable job and proper education.

The horrors I've committed. No good deed will ever outdo the bad that I have unleashed upon this godforsaken earth. From my clouded brain, paralyzing thoughts come to life to curse myself, the nightmare no mother would wish for her child to endure.

Relapse after relapse, I would fall sick with the thought of how many times I had to relapse until I was finally clean and that bitter flavour washed from my mouth.

"Are you okay?" Dina asks with a smile and furrowed brows "We kind of lost you there."

It's one in the morning and I want to drink wine then slip beneath the rapid waters that will gladly pull me under and claim me as theirs.

Instead, I opt for a class of water. As Dina had said earlier, she wanted to get a bunch of friends together but the second we got home, I showered and locked myself away. Echoes of laughter and chatter drifted through my window.

I slip down the steps that lead to the kitchen. Outside the rain has finally dissipated and Ellie, Dina, Jesse, along with a handful of people I don't know crowd around a bonfire. The kitchen is illuminated only by moonlight, the moon hung over me as I poured myself water from the tap, a dead thing over a dying thing.

I have seafoam in my veins and centuries-passed sunshine that induces my craving for some pills that will put me to sleep. Three months completely clean and yet that doesn't end the yearning for the drugs that comforted me more than any human ever had.

The door cracks open and in comes Ellie, she's laughing and from the uncontrollable giggles, drowsy gaze, and slightly disoriented walking I can tell that she's been smoking. "Hey," She smiles at me, reaching passed me to grab a mug with Garfield on the front and fill it with water but she doesn't take a sip, she just sits it down on the counter behind us and stares at me.

Our faces only inches apart, I contemplate her next move. This close I can smell the marijuana on her and I almost want to scuttle upstairs and light a candle. Ellie hugs me, wrapping her arms around my midriff and letting her head find its resting place in the crook of my neck "Are you okay?"

"Mhm" She hums "I'm just glad you're here, whatever the circumstances are, I'm happy that you're helping me with the boat," I'm carrying almost her full way, and she's slouched against me "I love you man, I know you don't remember a lot from when we were kids but we had a lot of fun together."

"Thanks, Ellie," I give her a little pat on the back "That's really nice of you."

She peels herself away from me, using the counter to lean against instead. She looks me up and down, having an intense staring contest with my pyjamas "Do you wanna come out and smoke with everyone?" She's shed her tank top and thrown over a gray hoodie to shroud her from the oncoming cold.

I shake my head, no "I don't mess with that stuff."

"That's smart," She says "Have fun in your room, stowaway, I'll see you tomorrow to work on our boat," With that Ellie leaves without grabbing the Garfield mug she came in here for.

A/N: Hey, y’all. I’m aware I have a million open docs, I assure you they are all getting some love but I needed to come back to my roots and write some angst. These are some issues I have struggled with and I feel that it’s important to bring attention to it so it’s not taboo.

196 notes · View notes

stylescine · 9 months

Note

Harry styles and y/n getting married in Italy and y/n have a bit of a baby bump around 2 weeks pregnant with their first child together

this is just pure fluff and i love harry with a pregnant reader.

reader is around 3 to 4 MONTHS pregnant here!

Masterlist | Request

Words: 1.3k Warnings: just fluff

This was without a doubt the best day of her life.

Harry and Y/N had decided to have their wedding in Italy almost two years ago. The country had always been special to them. They had spent countless vacations there and she had been able to look over his shoulder when Harry was writing most of his album on the beach or in their shared home in the countryside.

They had tried out every gelato shop in close proximity and had made friends with a lot of locals a long time ago. Italy almost seemed like a second home at times, especially when the pressure and pain of every day life seemed unbearable.

Together they had arranged everything in an instant via phone calls and e-mails. It wasn’t easy to plan a wedding from so far away but that didn't take away from how beautiful it was in the end.

The wedding was a success and without a doubt the most beautiful day of their life. They were officially married now, on paper, and in front of all their friends and family. Now it was time to celebrate and celebrate they did.

But there was more than just the wedding to celebrate. Harry and her had been trying for a baby for a while. And then one day, she held the pregnancy test in her hands, sitting on the bathroom floor with her back against the bathtub and tears of joy streaming down her face. She could hear Harry cook downstairs, the TV playing in the background, and she knew that he would drop everything as soon as she would tell him.

Y/N told him as soon as she had been able to wipe her own tears and made the way to the kitchen. "I need to talk to you, darling," she said softly and Harry turned around in an instant.

He was wearing a big hoodie and sweatpants as he always did when he was relaxing at home. He had been home for a few months and they had used that time to focus on planning their future and their family.

"What is it, love?" Harry smiled, leaning against the counter behind him.

"Here," she whispered, her voice suddenly failing her. She could feel the heat climb into her cheeks as she handed the pregnancy test over to Harry. They had shared countless moments in the bathroom with a negative test in their hand, but they didn't give up and now? She was able to make them both the happiest people on this earth.

It took Harry a moment to realise what was happening as his eyes focused on the stick in front of him. "Two lines mean positive, right?" His voice was quivering and Y/N stepped closer, placing her hands on his arms. "Yes, darling," she whispered and her fiancé's eyes filled with tears in an instant. The pregnancy test was discarded quickly and Harry's arms wrapped around her. He picked her up with ease, holding her close and burying his face in her neck. "Oh my god, I can't-"

His words were lost against her lips when she turned his head and kissed him. "We're going to have a baby," she laughed, the tears rushing into her eyes again. She was sure it wasn't just the hormones this time – this was the genuine happiness she had been chasing after for so long.

Today, on their wedding day, it was hard to hide the baby bump by now. Her dress still looked absolutely perfect, the curve of her stomach definitely didn't take away from it.

Harry seemed to think the same as he approached her from behind, arms wrapping around her as his hands rested on her baby bump. "How are you two feeling? I hope you aren't too tired to dance yet."

Even if she was, Harry would take no offence in it. Ever since they had found out about the pregnancy, they were even more careful with their lifestyle and Harry tried to help her wherever he could. He was understanding of her mood swings and food cravings, always on track to help her where he could. Even if it meant running to the grocery store in the middle of the night to get her pickles.

"We're good. Not too tired yet," she replied and turned her head to the side to get a better look at her husband. A loose curl was hanging onto his forehead, but she couldn't contain the heat she felt in her tummy at the sight of him. How was Harry able to look this perfect all the time?

"Maybe we could check out the cake together?" He suggested as soon as Y/N had turned around to face him. Harry was wearing a black suit, all traditional. His nail polish matched her own and the ring on his finger seemed like it had always belonged there. "I think our little prince or princess would like that too," she agreed with a smile, interlacing their fingers and heading to the table filled with cakes and cupcakes.

Their wedding wasn't extremely big, but there were a good amount of family and friends here anyway, so they had made sure to have enough food for them all. And maybe Y/N would eat more than just one piece of cake now, given the circumstances.

Harry grabbed a piece for her first and then a plate for his own. "Let's go outside, shall we?" He asked and she agreed in an instant. There was a balcony overlooking the ocean as part of their venue and they had wanted to take a few pictures there later.

It would also provide them with a bit of privacy before the dance.

Harry opened the glass doors for her and she stepped over the threshold with her dress, careful not to trip. In front of her, the sun was starting to set on the horizon and its light was reflecting off the water ahead of them. They had chosen a location by the ocean on purpose. It would make for great pictures and the memory of celebrating here alone would make her feel all warm in the future.

She leaned her back against the rail of the balcony, slowly starting to eat away at her piece of cake. "It's so delicious," she hummed, actually holding back a satisfied moan.

Harry's lips turned into a pleased smile and he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to his wife's temple. "Of course it is. You decided what it would taste like," he teased and continued to eat his own piece of cake then.

He was glad they were able to get a bit of time for themselves. It was great to celebrate with their families and friends, but he also wanted to talk to his wife alone every now and then.

His eyes wandered over her dress, down to her belly. He placed a hand on top of it, thumb moving back and forth gently. "I can't wait to start this next chapter with you, darling," Harry whispered, leaning closer to place a soft kiss on her lips.

Y/N couldn't hold back her own smile. They had been together for so long and now finally having a child and being married seemed like the right step to make into their future. Of course, they would have to navigate Harry's career and a child, but she had no doubts that they would manage it perfectly.

"Me neither. And I'm glad it's you I'm doing all of this with," she replied, placing her plate down on a nearby table before she reached out to cup Harry's cheek with her hand. He kept a bit of a stubble at the moment and it looked so good on him.

"I love you, H."

"I love you too. And our little prince or princess." Harry's eyes filled with tears, but she didn't worry about it.

Those were definitely tears of joy.

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glorified-red · 1 year

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Auburn Traditions (Damian Wayne x Reader)

summary: After your wedding, Damian spends the night finding his name in your bridal henna. In the safety of your presence, he can share his true feelings to you. word count: 1,550~ warnings: none Special thanks to @quillsareswords for bouncing ideas around until this fic was born. I am soft for this man. This is the mushiest thing I've written in so long. Literally kicking my feet writing this.

It came as no surprise when Damian popped the question.

You two flourished beside each other, growing individually in the comfort of each other’s embrace. For years you stood beside Damian. Through high school you helped him study every exam season, said quick greetings in the halls, and even helped him find all his classes his first year. In college you motivated him through finals, went to every pesky orientation, and cheered the loudest when he walked across the stage one final time.

Almost in tandem, Damian returned the favor. He asked you to Prom your senior year, holding up a shy bouquet of flowers and a corsage. He attended every performance of yours, big or small, because the mere presence of him was more support than you could ever wish for. Damian dragged you to bed on long nights and held you through so many tough ones, never letting go through it all.

You moved out together years later after you found the perfect forever home and finally made it yours. The walls were painted deep into the night, muted tones swiped onto his nose only for him to fling it back at you. Together, Christmas lights were hung across the house year after year as you danced to the upbeat tunes in your own living room while the fireplace warms you up after a long day in the snow.

So when Damian kneeled before you, his heart pouring out of his chest as he spoke words of reflection and his own green eyes shining with affection, you had to say yes. A year of bliss with Damian Wayne, your fiancé, soon to be husband. You carved out a section of this chaotic world and made it your own, a section full of adoration and unwavering love.

The wedding night was one to remember. It was an extravagant night filled with family, music, and laughter. Damian couldn’t keep his eyes off his bride for very long, far too many of the wedding photos showed Damian’s soft gaze towards you.

Your vows were heartfelt and private, opting to say your true feelings in the comfort of each other and no one more. Damian Wayne, the man of very few words, had the most poetic words fall from his lips that day. Damian Wayne, the man with ironclad emotions, cried in front of you when the vows continued forward—not that he’d ever admit that, but you knew.

So here you were, the wedding night bliss still radiating off of you as you sat in front of Damian—your husband—on your shared bed. Your outfits were hung up ages ago, torn off the second you could and changed into something more cozy with softer fabrics and looser seams. Bobby pins were scattered across the bathroom sink as you let your hair rest. Damian’s own hair was ruffled, the gel long since worn off.

Neither of you minded, no amount of makeup or luxurious outfits could make Damian fall for you any harder than he already has.

“You’re really intent on finding it,” you commented playfully, your voice dipped into softer volume. Your hands rested in his, decorated in vibrant amber. Delicate florals weaved their way across your fingertips and palms, vines twirled across the negative space until their leaves grew on your hands. Mother Earth herself had kissed your hands and let her beauty flow across your skin—her own blessing to the marriage.

Henna: a tradition that was nothing short of mesmerizing. You remembered the day Damian asked for this, a small portion of his heritage incorporated into the best night of his life. And of course, you said yes, accepting every part of him happily.

His hands traced along the arabic style that seeped into your skin, spaced out leaves and florals that left a gorgeous amount of free space to show off your own beautiful skin. It wasn’t nearly as intricate as Mehndi, for this style of henna focused on the palms to bring in love and cherish memories. But every dot on your skin was as fascinating as the one before it, carefully placed into a beautiful design.

“Of course,” Damian responded, his gaze incredibly focused on the detailed pattern on your hands. He flipped over your hands to look at the top. “The fate of the marriage rests on this moment.”

You snorted, “You just don’t want to admit that I’m the dominant one in the relationship.”

Damian tsked, “You wish.”

“Well,” you looked over at the clock, “you have five minutes before that superstition comes true. Better hurry up, bird boy.”

“There’s no need to rush me, I will find it before the night is over.”

You hummed in disbelief, a playful tone falling from your lips. The room fell to comfortable silence once more, the only sound was the soft breathing that landed onto the tips of your fingers.

His hands were so gentle as they touched yours, a faint warmth emitting from his own hands and transferring to yours. Even as he turned your hands this way and that, his fingertips traced along the design. The touch was feather-light, almost tickling the surface of your hand.

He never touched with much pressure. Even though the dye was a deep rich color, beautifully stained on your hands and wrists, he didn’t dare to wear it thin. Talia herself told you every tradition as she crafted the henna on your hand, happy to play such a significant role in her son's marriage—and welcoming you to the family? She was overjoyed to receive that call.

So when your henna turned into a darker tone overnight, you immediately knew the deep connection between you and Damian was gorgeously on display. The color signified more than just love and an unwavering bond, but it also represented your place beside your new family, and the love you will surely receive from them.

“You look beautiful with this on, Zawjati,” he spoke just barely above a whisper, as if the amber design had Damian mesmerized. The words fell from his lips absent-mindedly, a new term of endearment taking flight in an instant. The gesture meant more to him than he could ever explain, from the reconnection to understanding, all the way to acceptance, his heart was unbelievably full.

You glanced up at him, your eyes met the softened gaze of a man so deeply in love, the rest of the word slipped away. That gaze conveyed more to you than any poetic vow.

Your heart was equally as full. His simple wedding band was smooth against your fingers, the new shimmer of metal was vibrant against the tan of his skin. Your own traditions having melted into the wedding with the rings, a permanent symbol of the promise Damian made to you each and every day: to love and cherish you.

“That’s a new one,” you said, pushing past the breathless feeling in your lungs.

He rolled your fingers in his and sparks flew up your chest just like the first day you met him, even after all these years. He hummed in question, his eyes scanning the patterns with deep concentration.

“Zawjati,” you continued. “What does that one mean?”

Damian shifted slightly, not uncomfortably so, but as if his brain was mulling words around behind his eyes so his body swayed on instinct. “My wife.”

The smile that broke across your face happened in an instant, a full gleam of happiness filled your body that you couldn’t possibly contain. “Oh?” you teased, as if the words didn’t burrow themselves in your chest to create blossoming trees, “I’ve upgraded now.”

The corner of his lip ticked upwards so slightly you wouldn’t have caught it if you weren’t staring. There was a tint of your lipstick stained on his lips that you didn’t notice before. His fingers toyed with yours, they slipped in between yours with a ticklish touch.

“I’ve been wanting to call you that for years,” he said it so simply, like that profession didn’t take the air out of your lungs and make your heart flutter alongside it.

“Years?” you breathed out, stunned by his words. You knew his love for you was profound, but to be looking forward to spending the rest of his life with you for years? Your head whirled from the whiplash.

“Yes.” Just as simply as the words that came before. “My heart knew who it belonged to the second you entered my life. You were the only one who ever saw me for who I really was, not who I could become. You were the only one who made me look forward to living, not for the sake of saving lives to simply do it again the next day, but to keep coming home to you.”

“You make the future seem possible. You,” he breathed, “you make me want to be better, not because I have to, but because I truly want to. That is why I’ve always been more partial to the other translation of Zawjati.”

The word rolled off his tongue and your heart danced. “And what’s that?”

His thumb swiped across your pulse point where his name was imprinted on your skin in subtle cursive, easily blending into a vine. He gently brought the point to his lips.

“My better half.”

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@cherry-dropp

@missredrobin

#Damian Wayne x reader #Damian Wayne x you #Damian Wayne x y/n #robin #Damian wayne #robin x reader #robin x you #robin x y/n #Arab Damian wayne #bridal henna #fluff #batfam #batfamily #batboys #dc #dc comics #batman

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heartfullofleeches · 3 months

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Happy Birthday, C.C!

(And a happy belated Valentine's day. One holiday is a bit more important to me than the other. Gotta celebrate my favorite incubus's day or he may cut me. Reader is brief mentioned to be wearing lingerie, but there really isn't anything that suggestive in this fic- Enjoy!)

When asked what he wanted for his birthday, C.C gave the same answer nearly every year.

"Why would I want anything when I already have everything I need?.... A new pair of shoes would be nice, but I'm really not that picky about what I get."

A successful career, the funds to purchase whatever trivial possession he desired. If he hadn't found fame and fortune early on in his life on earth, C.C would have been more than happy to mooch off of the desperate, lonely humans who'd do give him just about anything for a crumble of his attention. A short while ago, the only presents that mattered were what he received from the select few in his family he deemed worth the title, but something that has changed recently - another person entering his life who he puts on the same pedestal as the blood he holds dear if not higher.

If there was one thing C.C didn't want for his birthday - it was waking up in an empty bed all by himself.

Reaching an arm over your side of the bed, the drowsy demon is rudely dragged from his sleep as he finds no one there next to him. It's funny to think that a year prior he would have had no problem with this. Now, his heart sinks every time there's no one at his side. You're cruel for making him so dependent on you like this - and not being beside him on his big day.

C.C grumbles something under his breath - stumbling out of bed, making a grab for his phone on the nightstand as he exits the room. The second he turns it on, he's bombarded with hundreds of birthday wishes from friends and fans across several social media accounts. C.C swipes them all away, only bother to read any of the notifications in case he misses a message from you saying you're out. Why you'd leave without him is beyond him, but it was the best his groggy mind could come up with. Turning the corner that leads to the living room, a sea of curses sound from the kitchen muffled by running water.

"Shit, shit, shit- Fuck, why won't it come off?!"

C.C would recognize that voice anywhere. He scurries into the kitchen - biting back a laugh at your unfortunate state of appearance. There you stood over the sink, frantically scrubbing at your palms with a sponge. It was all over your hands, the robe you wore, even your face - pink stains that stubbornly refused to come out no matter how hard you tried. On the counter behind you was a bowl filled with a pinkish mixture - a bottle of red food dye still mixing its top and covered in red fingerprints seating beside it. C.C creeps over while you're distracted and sticks his fingers in the batter.

It's pancake mix.

"Mmm... I think all that dye is supposed to be in the bowl, babe."

Startled by the voice behind you, the sponge hits the bottom of the sink with a wet splat as you look behind you - hands quick at fixing your robes over scantily dressed body. "C.C? You're awake?! You're usually not up til noon - I thought I had more time.... Happy Birthday!"

The more attempt to hide it, the more C.C notices parts of your skimpy attire beneath the robe he had got you on your own special day. C.C loved to see you in his favorite color, but the bright pink fabric lessened the nearly see through aspect of your underwear and top in this lighting. The stockings you wore made up for it well enough - another accessories he loved to see on you that he made sure to voice many times before.

C.C gathers some of the paper towels on the counter. "Well I see you were at least trying to make breakfast - or get readying for Halloween a few months in advance. Sexy vampire is always a nice look."

"The seal just wouldn't come off and when it finally did it spilled all over me... I'm sorry for messing breakfast."

"Hush." C.C pulls you in close, wetness bleeding through his shirt as he embraces you, but he doesn't seem to mind. "We still have everything we need. I'll help you finish up and then we can take a shower together and spend the day in bed. You didn't put that outfit on just for show, did you?~"

"No, it was actually meant to be your Valentine's gift but.... I still haven't gotten your birthday present yet. I was going to take you to the mall and let you decide since there's so many things you like..."

C.C holds you tighter - grinning from ear to ear as he looks over your shoulder at all you've done for him. 'Don't worry.... I have everything I want right here."

#C.C my oc #yandere incubus #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere #yandere scenarios #yandere blurb #yandere insert #yandere headcanons #yandere oc #male yandere #yandere fluff

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onskepa · 4 months

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Left behind: Prologue

Here is the first of many chapters for the long awaited series! Enjoy!

Left behind series

----------------

Jake’s pov

Earth has always been our home. Us, humans. And like parasites, we leeched off of our provider. Always wanting more and never getting our fill. And now, what made us humans, is dying. There is little to no chance of saving it.

As earth dies, so does the human spirit. Over mass population, consumption, greed. It is clearly taking a toll on all of us. Whenever something pure, something untouched is found, the greed of humanity taints it. Corrupt it.

As is the youth of our children.

With what hopes and dreams the kids have are instantly killed. The adults are blunt and cut throat in telling kids today there is no hope for earth. Being molded to think one way, molded to be fitted in a box and not have any form of creativity. To think of a certain way.

And it is disgusting.

Third POV

After a nasty fight at the bar, Jake went home. He got the money, less than last week but it's enough for the both of them.

Yes, both.

After being discharged from the marines after his life changing incident, Jake sully didn't have a clear vision of what to do. Learning that his new life will contain him in a wheelchair, Jake's mind darkened and stayed like that for a while. Dull and colorless were his day.

Would go to bars and make a fool of himself if it meant getting some attention and money for more booze. Made many mistakes in his dark days. Mistakes that aren't so easy to take back. Many regrets and doubts. But there was one thing that Jake would never see as an accident or a mistake, was his only reason to live.

His daughter.

A little angel sent from above to take him out of his dark days.

Jake could barely remember the women he spent the night that conceived his child. Some faceless lady that gifted him his child. Really the only good thing left in his life. And because of his little star, did Jake push on. Still not making good choices, but hard ones to make it by.

Jake’s pov

The door opened and I pushed myself inside. Home sweet home. A small apartment, not the best, but its plenty.

“Daddy daddy daddy!!” I can hear my little girl call out to me.

Turning, I caught her just in time. Quickly climbing on my lap, her little arms hugging me. “I missed you daddy!” she tells me. I couldn't help but smile widely. My little angel, my little star, a gift from above.

“Oooh I missed you too, have you been good for Misses Morve?” I asked her, moving her little messy hair away to look at her beautiful blue eyes. She nodded fast. And on cue, the kind lady we have as our neighbor came to us.

A nice little old lady across from our door.

“She has been so good, I am surprised she hasn't caused any trouble, '' Misses Morve tells me. “Thank you, you don't have to watch over her tomorrow. I'm staying in” I was informed. Saying our farewells, she left our place.

My little girl turned back to me, “daddy! I saw on the hologram that the tigers came back from the dead! I saw them and they looked so cuuuuuuute!!”

Animals has always been her favorite thing to learn about. I buy second hand books for her. School has become too expensive for an average family. So I try my best to teach her what I know.

“Really? Maybe one day we can go see them together” I tell her. Her eyes sparkle in excitement, cheering and clapping. Letting her chat away of what we can do should one day we go to the zoo.

I know it might not happen, but nothing wrong with giving a little hope right?

Third pov

As the father-daughter duo chatted, a sudden knock was hard on the door. Both stood silent, misses Morve just left, Jake wasn't expecting anyone else.

Jake gave his daughter a look and quickly she left to go hide in a cabinet. Jake grabs a gun hidden from a shelf and preps it. As he got closer, another knock was heard. “Who is it?” he asks loudly.

“Is this Jake sully’s residence?” A voice was heard.

“Who are you?” Jake asks.

“We are from the RDA. We came to look for Jake sully. It is urgent we speak to him”.

Aaaaaaaand that is all for this one! Hope you all like it cause there will be more chapters in the future! Until next time! see ya!

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michwritesstuff · 4 months

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She’s Gonna Save Me (Bridgerton: Benedict Bridgerton)

this is my first ever bridgerton fic! i’ve had such a writer’s block and post grad has been so difficult but listening to music and reading other writers’ works has me feeling inspired! so enjoy my first story in months and first of the new year :)

pairing: female reader (she/her) x Benedict Bridgerton reader x Colin Bridgerton (platonic!)

summary: Benedict contemplates a life pursuing art and living outside the expectations of his family and society. Does he find a wife and settle down or live freely? What happens when he meets someone who can offer him the best of both worlds?

notes/warnings: mention of nudity, alcohol consumption, activities that can be witnessed at Sir Granville’s scandalous studio saoirees…

word count: 2.4k

As the second eldest Bridgerton boy, Benedict never found himself extremely pressured by the standards and expectations of society. Those responsibilities were entrusted upon his brother, Anthony, the Viscount.

Benedict reserved himself to a more romantic life, preoccupied by his love and interest for art.

Attending every event of the season was merely a ploy to keep his mother happy and distracted from the fact that he had no true intention of courting any ladies.

He would drink, laugh, and dance the season away without ever calling on anyone.

Benedict believed that this season wouldn’t be any different.

******

When you first agreed to join your family friends across the Atlantic in London, you didn’t expect that you would be taking part in the ton’s social season.

As the youngest daughter, your brothers married with children and sisters off tending to their new husbands, your father didn’t feel the need to arrange a marriage for social or monetary gain.

Your family was well off in the states, your parents often described as ‘free spirits.’ They had always impressed upon you the importance of appreciating the beauty around you and romanticizing life.

With your mother’s passing, you decided to stay at home with your father, choosing to enjoy a quiet life in the country studying English literature.

Staying with Sir Henry Granville was beyond exciting and allowed you to interact and mingle with the more eclectic members of British society.

You had lasted all but a week before you were called upon by a Miss Lady Danbury.

She had stressed the importance of participating in the social season and the impending judgment of the ton and Queen if you did not participate.

While you never cared much for the opinion of others, you didn’t fancy the idea of being ogled every time you ventured into town.

******

“I heard she was rejected by every suitor.”

“She’s so ugly and unpleasant, a dowry wouldn’t even be worth it.”

“Apparently she’s slightly deformed.”

You couldn’t begin to believe the rumors circulating about you, the American.

You swore that the descriptions were ripped out of a storybook, describing some gremlin crawling from the depths of the earth.

Men and women alike had no problem spreading stories about the young lady joining them for the season.

Worst of all, none of them had even seen you yet. The modiste had made personal house calls, as requested by Lady Danbury.

Now you stood, in front of the carriage, at the first ball of the season, your debut.

You followed behind Sir Henry and Mary Granville, head held high and eyes straight forward as you waded through the ballroom towards Lady Danbury and the Queen.

You heard the whispers and felt the stares as you stood before the queen.

With one leg behind the other and your arms laid at your side, you gently bent your knee and curtsied before her.

She gave you a once over before bowing her head back, a silent approval.

Moving out of the way, you stood at the edge of the dance floor as Lady Danbury approached.

“Miss y/l/n, I do hope you don’t mind that I have taken the liberty of securing you a few gentlemen to fill out your dance card.”

“I expect nothing less from you, Lady Danbury” you smiled back, a teasing tone in your voice.

Your sarcasm and apprehension towards the season had not gone unnoticed by Lady Danbury.

She quite admired your wit and sharp mind, and more than anything, enjoyed the challenge.

******

You were now on your 4th dance of the night; your feet were hurting, and you wanted nothing more than to be curled up with a book.

Fortunately, your current dance partner was not completely awful and was actually quite charming.

Colin Bridgerton.

You had met him once before, in passing, when Lady Danbury had brought you to meet his mother, Violet, and sister, Daphne.

Apparently, Daphne had been named the Diamond of the season in her first season out on society and married a Duke.

His younger sister, Eloise, was preparing for her first season as well.

However, through your brief encounter with Eloise she did not seem as happy with the matter as her sister and mother were.

You had a feeling she would be a good person to befriend.

“Tell me about yourself Miss y/l/n” Colin inquired.

“Y/N,” you quickly corrected.

“Just Y/N is fine,” you smiled slightly.

“Well Y/N, how are you finding London and the beginning of the season?”

“London, well its quite beautiful. There is so much art, and history, and the architecture is amazing. Truly, I wouldn’t mind getting lost here. And well…this—” you paused, glancing around the ball at all the young women around you.

“May I be frank?” you asked, Colin’s eyebrows raising in surprise.

“Of course, Miss Y/N”

“I slightly detest all of this, my feet hurt, and I’ve been dancing for quite too long. Why would I want to marry someone I’ve met one time?”

Colin was slightly taken aback before grinning wildly.

“You remind me of my sister Eloise,” he stated.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, I quite liked her,” you grinned back.

As the dance ended you curtsied before Colin as he bowed before you.

“I hope you find the person you’re looking for Y/N, but I have a feeling you don’t need all of this to do so.”

You smiled widely and slightly nodded before following him off the dance floor.

“I’ll grab us a drink,” he said before walking away. Your eyes followed his back for a few seconds before scanning the room.

They quickly landed on two men whispering in the corner.

The slightly shorter one had massive sideburns and a quizzical look that seemed as if it must be permanently etched onto his face. The other man had a certain air about him.

Even from across the room his light-colored eyes had a shine in them.

Colin returned; you thanked him before looking to the corner again. This time the slightly taller one had caught your gaze and lifted his eyes to meet yours. You felt your face flush and quickly turned your head.

“Colin?”

“Yes?”

“Who are those two men in the corner?”

Colin looked up to see his brothers in the corner looking at him inquisitively.

“Oh, those two? You don’t want to be near the likes of them. Poorly mannered and when they were younger, they would wet the bed for years well beyond what was normal.”

You were following along for a while until that last part.

You gave Colin a quick look to see if he was being serious.

His mouth remained flat and tight-lipped for a few mere seconds before letting through a boisterous laugh.

“My apologies Y/N, those are my brothers.”

Your eyes widened at the confession.

“Your brothers?”

“Yes, lets introduce you,” he stated, beginning to pull you across the ballroom.

“Colin, No I—"

“Brothers, this is Miss y/l/n, Anthony, Benedict,” he pointed out.

You curtsied before both of them before speaking up.

“I told you, just Y/N is fine Colin.”

You weren’t sure what his brothers would say about your slight improperness. It was clear that the Bridgerton’s were a well-respected family in the ton.

You glanced at the eldest brother who you learned was named Anthony who gave you a curt nod before excusing himself to sneak off from an inquiring Lady Danbury.

You smiled at him before turning your gaze to the second eldest Bridgerton.

“Y/N here was telling me about her studies in the states. She is well-read and well-traveled.”

You rolled your eyes, playfully pushing Colin slightly.

“You flatter me, Colin. Unfortunately, I am not perfect. For example, I am about done with all of this and was just about to call a carriage.”

“Oh, but you must stay for one more dance Y/N. Poor Benedict here has not waltzed once.”

Benedict tried to sneakily hit his brother for his clear meddling.

“While that may be true, I do not need my younger brother imposing on such a lovely lady.” Benedict states.

“Nonsense, everyone must waltz at least once,” you laughed, pulling Benedict towards the center of the room.

His eyes widened at your forwardness as he shot Colin a disapproving brotherly look, to which Colin gave him a grin and thumbs up.

As the music began you moved around the room with Benedict.

“So, Mr. Bridgerton, tell me what exactly it is you do.”

“Just Benedict is fine,” he stated, mirroring your words from earlier.

“Besides, aren’t I the one who should be questioning you about your skills?”

“That’s awfully backwards thinking, I hope you don’t get stuck that way” you replied sarcastically before being spun around.

When you returned facing Benedict, a knowing grin was stuck on his face. You were witty. He liked witty.

“I suppose that is fair. I’m an artist, well…I’m trying to be an artist. It’s a little complicated.”

You nodded understandingly, while the arts were enjoyed by many, it wasn’t exactly a noble pursuit, especially for you as a woman.

“You should come by Sir Granville’s studio, it’s quite…”

You couldn’t think of a proper word to describe the soirees Granville hosted. It was taboo and scandalous to most respectable members of society. However, if Benedict was an artist as he was claiming, he should fit right in.

“…inspiring,” you finished.

Benedict gave you an interesting look.

Little did you know, he had been to Granville’s studio, several times.

He hadn’t been in a while since his family had just returned from Aubrey Hall and the preparation for Eloise’s season had been quite hectic for his mother.

But you, picturing you at Granville’s studio was not something Benedict had imagined.

Women who were married or of low social standing was something else, but you, a young lady in her first official season stalking down the halls in such a disreputable manner. It didn’t fit the picture of the beautiful woman before him.

Benedict was quickly learning not to try and categorize you into one box.

“What do you know of Granville’s studio?” he asked seriously.

“Well, for one, I’m staying there. Two, I feel more comfortable among that community than here, if you understand what I mean…” you trail off.

Benedict gives you a small smile of understanding.

As the song ends Benedict lifted your hand to his mouth, kissing it gently before sightly lowering it back down, fingers brushing softly as he pulls away.

“Until next time Y/N”

“I look forward to it Benedict.”

******

Two months had passed since Lady Danbury’s first ball of the season. In that time you had befriended Eloise and Colin Bridgerton, often sitting in the parlor room of their home during the daytime, chatting the day away.

As such, you had also grown closer to Penelope Featherington who also came over often. You always considered yourself to be quite perceptive, so it was evidently clear that Penelope was fond of Colin. You thought about mentioning something, but it didn’t seem like your place.

Throughout your time at the Bridgerton’s household you had seen Benedict a handful of times. Unfortunately, your encounters were reduced to small greetings, stolen glances and light brushes as you walked past each other.

Until today.

You were sitting in the empty parlor room as Eloise ran to her room to fetch some ‘evidence’ and ‘clues’ about Lady Whistledown.

“Good Afternoon Y/N” Benedict greeted as he walked in, taking a quick look around the room to find the two of you alone.

“Afternoon Mr. Bridgerton,” you greeted back, a slight teasing tone to contrast your seemingly formality.

He gave you a knowing look before continuing.

“I hope I’m not being too forward, but I plan on attending Sir Granville’s tonight, I was wondering if I would see you there?”

You gave him a teasing smile before your face fell into a serious and hurt look.

“Mr. Bridgerton, I’m appalled, would a respectable young woman such as myself be caught there? Imagine the horror if the rest of the ton were to find out.”

He let out a loud laugh at your remark, in the short time that he had known you, you never failed to make him laugh.

“Yes Benedict, I’ll see you there,” you smiled.

“Good,” he replied.

******

That night you had a few drinks to help you take the edge off before guests started coming over. There was something about interacting with Benedict that made you nervous.

You were walking around the art studio observing the nude model and the artists renditions when you felt someone lay their hand on your shoulder.

“OH! Oh my, Benedict, you scared me.”

“Sorry, love, didn’t mean to startle you.”

You continued walking around the circle, admiring the art around you.

“She’s stunning, is she not?” you questioned.

“She is,” he answered quickly.

However, when you turned to look at him his eyes were already trained on yours.

You smiled widely, walking out of the studio as Benedict followed like a lost puppy.

“Will I ever get to see your art?” you asked him.

He smiled sheepishly as his arm reached back to scratch the back of his neck.

“I certainly would let you, if there was any.”

“Practicing here for a few months and you still have nothing to show?” you teased.

Benedict gave you a look.

“I may have asked around about you,” you confessed.

“And?” he asks.

From what you have heard, both from his siblings and other people around you. Benedict was a kind and creative soul, with a great appreciation for the beauty around him.

“Your family and friends speak highly of you, that’s important.”

“What about you? What do you speak of me?”

“Besides being a tortured artist? I think highly of you.”

He nodded his head again, before responding.

“I think highly of you as well,” he whispered quietly, leaning down slightly so he was more at eye level.

You blamed the alcohol in your system for what you did next.

Yanking him down by his collar, you pulled him close and reached up until your lips were flush against his, pushing with all your might as if you would never kiss him again.

“Y/N—” he pulled away, his senses flooding back.

“This is…no, I’ve dishonored you I—”

“Oh hush Benedict, I do not care about those rules. I want you.”

He looked down at you, holding your face in his hands as he searched your eyes for confirmation.

Biting your lip and grinning up at him, Benedict couldn’t help but pull you back in, one hand sinking to your waist to pull you closer, the other rested on your cheek.

“You know this means we have to get married now?” Benedict teases.

“That means you presume I would say yes,” you teased back.

His smile grew impossibly bigger as he pulled you back in for a tender kiss.

“Let’s just see how you perform tonight before we think about marriage” you joked.

Benedict pulled back with a smirk and look in his eye you haven’t seen yet as he looked you over.

“Art is all about practicing and perfecting, we might need to practice a few times before you make your final judgement” he teased back.

You threw your head back in surprise, a large laugh leaving your lips before you smiled sweetly at him.

This was not how you imagined the social season going.

check out the rest of my work ⤑ here!

#teentvimagines #bridgerton #bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x y/n #benedict #benedict bridgerton x female reader #benedict bridgerton imagine #bridgerton masterlist #bridgerton imagines #anthony bridgerton #colin bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #daphne bridgerton #Spotify

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dinums · 1 month

Text

The Unexpected Visit

Thomas Shelby x Reader.

Summary: A Filipina woman accidentally travelled back in time. There, she began to work for the Shelbys

Part 2

"Hurry up! We're going to be late for your birthday celebration!" My best friend, Ava, shouted down the hall, prompting me to respond in the same hurried tone.

"Alright! Just give me a moment!"

I looked at myself in the mirror, feeling a sense of satisfaction as I admired my appearance. I was wearing a stylish black and white dress that fell just below my knees, with a white bow tie adorning my hair. My makeup was flawlessly done, accentuating my features.

"Shit, ang ganda ko," I murmured to myself. After securing a job as an animator and starting a new life in the United States, I was finally able to enjoy the fruits of my labor. This was where I would find happiness. Despite missing my home country, the Philippines, the familiar places there held too many painful memories that I preferred to leave behind.

Everything was supposed to go smoothly, until it didn't. From the far corner of my room, I caught a glimpse of someone—a dark figure—watching me. A chill ran down my spine, and my body instinctively went into fight-or-flight mode. Without a second thought, I fled from my room, convinced that the figure was pursuing me. It emitted a sinister laugh, filling the air with an eerie presence. Was this what my mother had warned me about?

---

"Puta... tangina, tangina! Ava, where's Ava?" These thoughts raced through (Y/N)'s mind as she ran, desperately searching for her friend while panic consumed her. As she neared the stairs, she could swear that the figure was still chasing her. In her haste, she stumbled and began to fall, but just as she was about to hit the ground, a blinding light engulfed everything.

---

On a quiet evening in the streets of Watery Lane, Birmingham, Thomas Shelby lay in his bed, lost in thought, cigarette in hand. Suddenly, the drawers started opening, and the air seemed to thin. The entire house shook, as if an earthquake were rocking the foundations. Thomas swiftly grabbed his gun, prepared to confront any potential enemy lurking in the darkness of the night. It felt as if the very earth were tearing apart at the seams. He was about to call for his family when a brilliant flash of white light blinded him, causing him to shield his eyes and turn away.

A loud crash followed, accompanied by the sound of a woman's voice. Thomas, now disoriented, cautiously approached the source of the disturbance, gun still aimed at the woman who had appeared in his home. She seemed panicked, her eyes darting around as she struggled to get to her feet, wincing in pain. It appeared that she had injured her leg, possibly a sprain, which forced her to remain seated on the floor.

Their eyes met, and the woman's breath seemed to catch in her throat. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at the gun pointed at her. With trembling hands raised in self-defense, she stammered, "Who the hell are you, eh?" Thomas questioned her, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. This woman was unlike any he had encountered before.

"M-me? (Y/N), my name... (Y/N). Please, can you... I don't... the..." Her words faltered as Thomas took a step closer, the gun still pointed at her. Overwhelmed, she broke down, crouching on the floor, averting her gaze. If she were to die, she would rather not see it coming.

As the door opened, she looked up and saw a woman and two other men entering. When her eyes met theirs and then returned to Thomas, the woman spoke up, moving to disarm him.

---

"Jesus, Tom! What are you doing to this poor lady?!" I heard the woman exclaim after the gun was taken away from him. I let out a sigh of relief. Tom, as the man was called, pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated. The two other men seemed to be stifling their laughter, although it was difficult to discern as everything started to blur, as if the room were spinning.

When I regained consciousness, I found myself in bed, still in the same room as before—at least from what I could remember. As I surveyed my surroundings, I realized I was still wearing the dress, although the bows in my hair were gone. When I attempted to get up, the door opened, revealing the woman from earlier. In her right hand, she carried a tray with tea.

"Don't. You'll hurt yourself," she cautioned, pointing at my ankle. I nodded, and asked, "Can you tell me where I am...? Can I go home? Please..."

"You're in Small Heath. Thomas said you appeared out of thin air. How did that happen?" she responded.

"What year is it?"

"1919."

Small Heath, in 1919? That was far away from home, possibly evenin a different era altogether. It seemed impossible for me to have traveled there in the blink of an eye, let alone through time itself. Sensing my confusion, the woman tried to reassure me. She set the tray of tea on the bedside table and introduced herself as Polly Gray. I nodded in acknowledgment and placed the cup of tea on my lap.

"You're not from around here, are you?" Polly asked, her gaze lingering on the tea leaves in my cup.

"No, I'm not," I replied. She clicked her tongue, taking the cup from me and placing it back on the tray.

"Are you a Gypsy?" she inquired.

"No, I'm not," I repeated. I was starting to feel a glimmer of hope that Polly might be able to help me find my way back home. However, instead of directly answering my question, she posed one of her own.

"Can you read? Are you good with numbers?"

"I can read and do math. Why?"

"If you're going to stay here, you might as well work for us," Polly suggested, her tone implying that she had more to say on the matter.

"Why do you want to help me?" I asked but only got silence in return. The unexpected turn of events had left me bewildered, but I knew I had to gather my wits and adapt to this new reality. Working for Polly and her associates seemed like the only option available to me at the moment. Maybe, just maybe, they could provide me with the answers I sought and help me find a way back home.

"I'll work for you"

"Good."

////

It had been precisely one month and four days since I had become a part of the Shelby family. Despite initial reservations and a sense of distrust, Polly graciously took me under her wing. The other members of the family had an unspoken understanding not to pry into certain events that were yet to happen in their lives, acknowledging that I possessed knowledge of the future. However, that didn't stop some of them, particularly Finn, from asking what it was like. It was a joy to share stories with the young boy, and I was grateful that they kept my arrival in Small Heath a secret, creating a story on how I got up here, to not make the townsfolk ask questions, but then again who would ask the Shelby family questions?

In the present moment, I found myself inside the bustling betting shop, surrounded by a lively crowd. My responsibilities included tallying numbers, verifying receipts, and handling money and the transactions that came with it. The work was demanding, but it provided me with a sense of purpose, a distraction.

Across the room, John stood by the blackboard, inscribing odds while announcing them loudly for all to hear. Meanwhile, Arthur and Thomas had stepped out for a while, leaving Polly and me to manage the shop, with Ada looking after Finn.

"Mas maganda siguro kung animator nalang ako... or if I had a calculator here," I mused to myself, finishing up the last part of my work and giggling at the thought.

"A calculator? What's that?" I heard John's familiar voice as he approached me, a toothpick dangling from his mouth.

"It's- er, a device that helps you with calculations—counting, subtracting, multiplying, and even dividing numbers," I explained.

"Even the big ones?" John asked, curiosity evident in his eyes.

"Even the big ones," I confirmed, a hint of amusement in my voice.

Our conversation was abruptly interrupted when a bloodied Arthur burst into the shop, sending panic through the air. Everyone was ordered to leave, and Polly swiftly took charge, guiding Arthur to the house connected to the betting shop. Ada and John exchanged concerned glances, and I hurriedly joined them, mindful of my sprained ankle. I grabbed a clean cloth to help with Arthur's wounds, while Ada rushed to fetch a bucket of water.

Word seemed to spread quickly, and soon Thomas barged into the house, a bottle of alcohol in hand. He took the cloth from me, and I sat there, observing the scene. Conversations and typical sibling banter filled the air as Arthur and Ada exchanged words, while John and I simply watched them. Arthur began to explain how Inspector Campbell had asked him to assist with a robbery, recounting the encounter. Lost in my own thoughts, I couldn't help but voice my concerns.

"Will you help him? I mean, I wouldn't want to even think of helping a man who beat and bruised me... but..." I trailed off, realizing that all eyes were on me.

"Sorry, please continue," I quickly added.

"We don't help coppers," John stated firmly beside me.

Arthur continued, "He knew all about our war record... said we were patriots like him. I told him we'd take a family meeting and vote."

Knowing this was turning into Family business, I quietly saw myself out, going back to the betting shop to try and do extra work to keep myself busy. Despite the trust I had gained from the family, I understood that certain matters were their own to handle. It was their business, and I respected their boundaries.

///

My mind couldn't seem to shake off the lingering thoughts from our conversation. It had been a good thirty minutes, yet I couldn't help but wonder if the Shelby family would truly help that man with the robbery. After all, how could they trust someone who had beaten one of their own? The situation seemed precarious at best.

"Sana talaga bumalik na ako. Mas masaya siguro ako kung animator na lang ako... please, Lord, babait na ako kung ibabalik niyo lang ako..." I quietly murmured to myself, longing for the familiarity of my previous life.

"What are you blabbering about, eh?" a gruff voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to find Thomas standing before me, a quizzical expression on his face. I raised an eyebrow at him, which seemed to amuse him.

"You haven't apologized since the first time we met," I said, a hint of amusement in my voice.

"And you haven't told me what you said," he replied, curiosity piqued.

"It was a curse. I was cursing you to make a bad decision for pointing a gun at me," I snickered.

A moment of silence passed between us before we both chuckled. "So maybe it isn’t a curse... I was actually wishing to go back home. I even asked the Lord. I told Him that if He took me back, I would be nicer. I just think it would be nice if I could work as an animator. After all, I studied to become one after everything," I confessed, grateful for the Shelby family for taking me in and caring for me in their own ways.

To my surprise, Arthur and I discovered a shared love for drawing. It became apparent when he noticed me doodling one day, and he revealed that he used to love drawing horses. We began to draw together from time to time, he even thought me a few things or so.

Thomas, on the other hand, was more reserved. We didn't have much in common, but whenever I spoke in my native language, he would ask questions about its meaning. He also showed patience when I acted differently, allowing me to talk to him in a more casual manner over time.

John, being closer to my age, was a friendly presence. He had a boisterous personality, and I appreciated having someone to distract me from the noises in my head, a breath of fresh air in this intense environment.

Ada was easy to get along with. She lent me some of her clothing and was always open to conversation. She reminded me of my friends back home, particularly Ava.

Polly and I had a relationship reminiscent of the one I shared with my mother. At first, it felt like walking on thin air, but as I diligently carried out my duties and refrained from meddling in their affairs, she began to open up. She treated me like her own, and when I mentioned the similarities between her tea leaf reading and the practices of lbularyos or witch doctors, she encouraged me to share more.

And now, here I sat with Thomas Shelby himself. Thomas, who stayed quiet for most parts. His presence made me feel like I should continue talking.

"You lot can speak a different language too, right? Maybe you can teach me so that when I go back, I can make an impression, hm?" I suggested, which made him quirk a brow

"Then you'll have to teach me yours too, so it'll be fair, eh?" he replied with a smile and a shake of his head. Jackpot.

"Sure. Speaking of learning, do you know how I got good with numbers?" I asked, looking at him intently. It was just the two of us in the betting shop now, giving me the freedom to share. He then sat down next to me. Taking his gesture as an invitation to keep talking, I continued.

"When I was seven years old, my parents enrolled me in a program, a math center. It took me eight years to complete the whole program!" I explained, shivering at the memories.

"You didn't go to school?" he inquired.

"Oh, I did. I attended school while also studying math at that center. By the time I was sixteen, I was juggling school subjects like statistics, probabilities, and calculus, along with history lessons about my country... all that stuff. Later on, I learned animation, which gave me something to do, something I enjoyed."

"What do you do in animation?" Thomas asked, my face seemed to look very excited as i moved my chair closer to him, as if it wod be easy for him to be absorbing the knowledge I was about to share.

"Well," I began, a smile playing on my lips, "I draw illustrations, frame by frame. Basically, you see this?" I gestured, moving my hand as if I'm waving. He nodded in response as If my gesture wasn't obvious. "I draw something like that, people in motion, you know, like those pictures Ada goes to see. But Instead of people, its drawings. That was my job."

"And you can't do that now?" Thomas questioned, curiosity evident in his voice.

"Well...its easier to do it digitally," I explained, trying to find the right words to describe the concept, I used my hands, waving them in the air as if it would help the situation. Seeing his puzzled expression, I sighed and admitted defeat. "You know... its like this technology. It's hard to explain, to be honest. It's giving me a headache just thinking about it."

Thomas nodded, tilting his head slightly to indicate that he had listened to my explanation. After awhile more, we both stood up

"I've go to go, somewhere I need to be"

"Oh? Did my curse work? You're off to make a bad decision?" I joked which earned me another smile and a shake of his head.

"Maybe tomorrow, Do you drink?"

"That depends, is there an occasion?" I asked,walking over to the window, there I realised it was already dark, we've talked throughout the afternoon.

"Just come, eh?"

"Ask me again next time and I'll agree, if we spend too much time your ears might bleed."

"Next time then."

///

She stayed in Thomas' room during her stay, a decision made by the family. As she headed upstairs, she spotted Polly taking care of Finn. Pausing in her task, Polly spoke up.

"Need any help?"

"No, just check on Ada for me, thank you, love," she replied, and I agreed to do so.

"Alright, goodnight, Pol."

"Goodnight, love."

Making my way upstairs, I found Ada in her room.

"Are you going to sleep? Pol asked me to check up on you," I asked, and she yawned and nodded, pushing me towards Thomas' room.

"Yeah, off to bed. You too. I can manage myself. Goodnight, (Y/N)!"

"Oh, goodnight Ada," I said before she shut the door, leaving me confused, what are you up to Ada? I walked to the bed and crawled under the covers, ready to sleep.

As I drifted off, I couldn't help but utter a quiet gratitude, "Thank you, po," to no one in particular.

---

"Pol, do you know anyone who might know a way for me to get back? I think I'm losing hope already," I asked Polly, seeking some answers. It had been quite a hectic week word of mouth saying Thomas shooting someone, Mr. Campbell raiding homes of communists, Ada's pregnancy, and Thomas picking a fight with the Lee family.

"Oh, love. Just a little longer, hm? You'll go back. I'm sure of it," Polly said, her words providing temporary comfort. I had grown attached to the Shelby family, and the thought of leaving without knowing their fate weighed heavily on my mind.

"You know, Poll, I'm scared. If I do leave, then what about you guys? I won't ever get to see you all again... I won't know how you guys are doing unless I can read it from history books. I won't know how to help," I confessed, my voice filled with concern.

She took my hand in hers, offering reassurance. "Don't worry, love. Just give us a proper goodbye, and we'll be fine, alright?"

"I'll miss you if I do go," I admitted, a touch of sadness in my voice.

"We'll miss you too," she replied, understanding my worries.

---

That night, I decided to stay up late. I sat in the kitchen, working on a few doodles on a piece of paper. I drew frogs, horses, Polly, Ada, and Finn. The door swung open, revealing a drenched Thomas holding a bottle of whiskey.

"Woah," I exclaimed, surprised by his sudden entrance.

"A drink?" he offered, though his tone felt more like an order than an invitation. Remembering my promise, I grabbed two glasses and placed them on the table as he poured a drink for both of us.

"So, rough day? What happened this time?" I asked, curious to hear the events that had happened, though by the looks of it, thos wasn't a good one.

"I shot a horse," he replied. My eyes widened, my mouth agape, silently urging him to continue.

"It looked at me the wrong way, so I..." he trailed off, the weight of his actions evident in his voice.

"I look at you the wrong way most of the time. Maybe you should've done the same to me," I mumbled, moving my chair closer to him. He sighed, taking a swig of his drink.

"Back in France, I got used to seeing men die, but I never got used to seeing horses die," he confessed, his tone filled with remorse.

I nodded, taking small sips of my whiskey. "Horses, or any animals in general, they aren't like us. When we kill, it can be for so many reasons, but they do it to survive and protect. So, it's good that you feel bad about it. It makes you human. It proves you're not what you think you are."

"What do you think I am?" he questioned, curiosity lacing his words.

"You're not that far off. You're not as cold as anyone, or even yourself, perceives you to be, and that's a good thing. So, let it all out today," I encouraged, understanding the weight of his burdens.

We fell into a comfortable silence, interrupted only by the clinking of glasses as he poured himself more whiskey. After a while, I nudged him with my glass.

"I don't drink much," I confessed, offering him my glass. He took it and drank, and eventually, he began to talk again.

"Is that Polly?" he asked, pointing at the doodle I had made of her. I nodded, pointing out the other family members as well.

"I drew the people I talked to today. I guess I should draw you too, huh?" I suggested, feeling a sense of warmth in our conversation. He shrugged, turning his chair to fully face me.

"Should I stay still, then, eh?" he asked playfully.

"Nope! I've already memorized your face by now," I replied without much thought, not realizing the subtle smirk that graced his lips as I began to sketch him.

"You know, I'm glad that it was your house I accidentally traveled to. Even though it was scary at first," I shared, stealing quick glances at his drenched face to capture the details in my sketch. "Anyways, you'll catch a cold if you stay like that. When I was a kid, my parents used to throw their slippers at me from inside while I played in the rain."

"What? Would you do that to me?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Imagining the scenario, I burst into laughter. The image of me throwing slippers at Thomas in the rain seemed quite comical.

"I will if you let me."

"Maybe someday"

When I finished the sketch, I looked at it with satisfaction.

"Pogi," I murmured, using a Filipino term that meant "handsome." Though he didn't need to know that

"Pogi?" he repeated, looking at me curiously. I shook my head, realizing I had slipped into a different language.

"I said I was done," I clarified, handing him the paper with a smile. He took it, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Thank you," he whispered, barely above a breath. We both knew that those two words held multiple meanings, and despite everything, he meant them sincerely.

#cillian murphy #peaky blinders #thomas shelby x fem!reader #x reader #cillian murphy characters #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby fanfic #tommy shelby imagine

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sokooks · 7 months

Text

Horizon (Part One)

Masterlist

Summary: The way you approached life had started to break down Jungkook's emotional barriers. Jungkook couldn't deny that he was drawn to you in a way that was entirely new and unfamiliar. You had become more than just an assignment; you had become someone he genuinely cared about. It was the way you made him feel. With you, he felt more human than he had in a long time.

Despite his best efforts to remain detached, his heart had other plans.

Pairing: Angel!Jungkook x Reader (You)

Word count: 16k

People of different ages die every day, although being assigned the task of being around someone who is about to pass away soon, with the uncertainty of when it will happen, is not a role anyone would want to embrace.

Angels, Jungkook thought, weren't quite as heavenly as some humans portrayed them to be. Life in the celestial realm, at least before turning 25, could be described as marvellous, filled with curiosity and limitless freedom. However, the opinions of his fellow angels varied when it came to their heavenly duties. The first 25 years of an angel's existence were carefree. But as they crossed that threshold, they were destined to become one of the fallen, burdened with the responsibility of being around those who died rather than protecting them—a role that weighed heavy on their shoulders. Well... some of their shoulders.

It was the end of spring when Jungkook first met you.

Jungkook would carry the memory of his first encounter with him, an imprint etched into his mind and he wondered if it ever got easier. Even now, at the age of 27 and having fulfilled two previous assignments, he remained aware of his purpose, the thread that connected him to the lives he touched. He found comfort in the empathy that he could share with those he was assigned to.

Yet, that initial meeting to start things off always lingered as a haunting memory. The weight of his duty was never more apparent than during those moments of introduction.

The rules were clear, and Jungkook couldn't help but hold resentment toward his fellow fallen beings who approached their assignments with disregard. Angels were meant to ensure a painless passing, ensuring there was a balance between getting to know their assignments without revealing their true identity. A death that would be considered painless by the angels is only given if the angel gets to know their assignment. If discovered, both the assignment and the angel would meet the same fate.

The description of angels as a "wonderful species" in human eyes was questionable to Jungkook.

Jungkook's first assignment felt almost too straightforward. He assumed the role of a gardener for an elderly woman, despite having no prior experience in gardening. But tending to her garden proved simpler than he had anticipated. The woman had lived in isolation for six years, her husband's passing leaving her with no family to turn to. Jungkook took comfort in the fact that, at the very least, he could provide her with companionship in her final days. Over the course of two months, they formed a bond.

Then, the dreaded disaster week arrived, and he was by her side, attending to her needs just moments before her life gently slipped away. At least, it was a painless departure.

Jungkook's second assignment came just after he turned 26, and it felt quite different from his first. This time, he became involved in the life of Yoongi, a guy who produced music for a local band and played the guitar.

Their friendship had started naturally. Jungkook first met Yoongi at one of the band's concerts, and they became friends over drinks and late night talks about songwriting and whiskey. Even though Yoongi was older and wiser, Jungkook still learned a lot from him about how humans live. Jungkook had studied life on earth for 25 years before becoming one of the fallen, but there was always more to discover.

Watching Yoongi go was sad, and he'd say he lost his very first friend that day. He had spent many months with Yoongi, and for a while, he almost forgot the real reason he was there. Even though Jungkook didn't directly cause the end of his assignments' lives, knowing he was around them for that purpose was tough.

After Yoongi passed away, Jungkook quietly disappeared from the lives of the people he had met through Yoongi. They moved on, gradually forgetting the angel who had been a temporary presence, while focussing on how quickly Yoongi's health had declined. They would forget easily, but Jungkook couldn't. At least Yoongi's passing had been peaceful.

As soon as his role was fulfilled, it was as if he had never existed, leaving no trace of his presence behind. Every person he had met in his assignments, every life he had touched, had seemingly erased him from their memories. It was as if he were an invisible guardian, leaving no trace of his presence behind.

In the first few weeks of his assignment, Jungkook often just watched and learned. He tried to figure out the person he was assigned to, like their friends, daily habits, and when they had free time. This led him to a small video store in town, where he knew he would find you.

It was funny almost, how he met you in the season of rebirth.

The store he walked into had a unique atmosphere, one that Jungkook found quite appealing. He noticed that each column had a different movie category written on it. As he looked around, he saw that the store had a few customers, mostly young people in their twenties, which made him feel like he belonged there. Without thinking much, he wandered over to the horror section, running his fingers along the DVDs neatly arranged in alphabetical order.

"Hi" He heard a voice to his right and was greeted with a friendly smile and a body smaller than his broad one "Need any help with what you're looking for?"

The person to his side wore a uniform that he could tell belonged to the video store. A member of staff offering him any help that he may need to buy a movie that he definitely was not going to watch. He offered a smile in return before gazing back to the movies he was stood by.

"I have an idea..." He replied pursing his lips "Although help would be nice"

"No problem" As he glanced over at his new companion who stepped closer, his eyes quickly drifting to the name tag attached to the polo shirt that was worn "So what idea did you have in mind?"

"I'm searching for something new, maybe a franchise," Jungkook replied, his voice gentle. Y/n. It was you. His thoughts wandered briefly, contemplating if your kindness was genuine or just part of your customer service demeanour. Nonetheless, he couldn't help but return your smile.

"We have the conjuring series available in store I think? That's pretty popular at the moment" you informed him as you scanned the rows of movies. "But if not, I could check in the back for you," you offered. Jungkook pursed his lips slightly, considering his options

"What's your favourite?" Jungkook inquired, meeting your gaze with interest. "I'm sure the best recommendations come from those who are more familiar with the movies. So, which horror film would you recommend?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.

His comment left you a little flustered. Get it together. You were only human! So no one could blame you for being slightly amused when a (very) attractive man asks you what your favourite horror was.

"I suppose some might disagree with my choice," you chuckled, crossing your arms over your chest. "But I'm a fan of the scream franchise," you admitted with a grin.

"A new one for me" He told you and your eyes widened slightly.

"Really? You haven't even seen the first one?" You expressed genuine surprise at his confession, prompting a chuckle from Jungkook. He had his hands tucked into the pockets of his bomber jacket while he replied.

"I don't usually drift towards the horror genre"

"What is it you usually like to watch then?" Nothing.

"I'm not picky, anything really" You nodded your head in understanding "Maybe I should find which genre suits me best. I guess that's what I'm looking for"

"I'd say start off slow" You told him "You don't want to go fully in and buy a whole set of DVD's for a franchise that you may not even watch or like. We do have a renting service available, so if you'd like to rent a movie from us then bring it back within two weeks, we could work from there and find what you like"

Jungkook decided that he liked hearing you talk.

"Sounds good to me" He replied, earning a bright smile in return.

"Great! Which one would you like to start with?"

"Show me this scream franchise"

Sometimes, Jungkook wondered why he had such a big heart. Why did he care so much? Why did he care so deeply? Wouldn't it be simpler to detach himself, to not form attachments with those he was assigned to guide? Perhaps it would be easier not to mourn them before moving on to the next assignment. After all, their fate would ultimately rest on his shoulders—his presence merely served to make their departure less painful. Then there was the guilt of knowing that they suffered because of him. Because he didn’t want to risk his own heart.

But what a lonely life that would be. He would only interact with certain people in his life, that was the aftermath of being one of the fallen. He wouldn’t meet anyone else outside of his assignments, none of them did. And even after then he would still be forgotten. When he thought about it properly, Jungkook couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness and isolation. He grows to care for the souls that he is assigned to, and yet, once his duty was done, he's easily forgotten. It was a lonely existence, one filled with unspoken goodbyes and forgotten moments.

As time passed, you found yourself encountering Jungkook more often since his initial visit. His visits to your workplace became a regular occurrence. He would occasionally quiz you about various movies and playfully tease you when you didn't know the answer (as if he knew everything). He always sought your recommendations, and you were more than happy to provide them. It was hard not to be charmed by him, and you were very quick on anticipating his return to the shop every shift you had, but you reminded yourself not to get too eager. After all, he was just a customer.

Jungkook had briefly met your roommate, Dylan, only because she had visited you at work one day while he was there, engaged in conversation with you. You had mentioned that you had been living together for about a year, but despite your short time as roommates, you both were exceptionally close. Dylan often teased you for being your only friend, which only strengthened your bond. She visited you at work frequently, aware that her presence typically made your day even better. On occasion, she brought you coffee or food, and Jungkook couldn't help but notice that her arrival made your smile shine.

In addition to Dylan, you had your coworkers, and Jungkook couldn't help but hide a smirk whenever he overheard their whispers. They often commented on how he conveniently visited the shop when you were working and how it seemed like he only spoke to you. The gossip among your coworkers only added to the intrigue surrounding his regular visits.

I think our little horror fanatic has a secret admirer is what one of them whispered one afternoon. If only they knew the real reason that he was around.

Jungkook didn't try to hide his visits. He intentionally came on the days when you were working and mostly talked to you. He didn't want to seem too eager, so he waited three days before coming back after your first meeting. After that, he kept coming back regularly.

On Thursdays, you worked late and were alone in the store for the last hour before closing. As it got dark outside, Jungkook was there to make sure you left the shop safely. He often watched from a hidden spot as you locked up before heading home. To anyone who noticed him, it might seem like he had other reasons for being there.

Jungkook didn't want to push things. He had learned from his past two assignments that there was no need to hurry. However, his job was unpredictable, and he never knew when disaster might happen. It could be tomorrow or even a year from now. But he found solace in the fact that he had made an effort, and that was enough for him.

In some ways, Jungkook hoped that you would be the one to initiate conversations with him. He could sense that you occasionally became flustered around him, even though you tried to conceal it. He noted that this could work in his favour.

As for you, you couldn't help but feel amazed that someone as good looking as Jungkook was taking an interest in you. It felt like luck was finally on your side this year.

Even if it didn't seem like things were progressing romantically between you and Jungkook, perhaps you could build a friendship. You had never experienced someone coming into the store as frequently as he did, which led you to question why he chose to engage with you instead of your coworkers. It was enjoyable to introduce him to various movies, especially in the horror genre, and you were pleasantly surprised when he ended up enjoying all of your recommendations. His transition from renting one movie during each visit to purchasing the entire set brought a bright grin to your face, especially the day he bought the scream franchise.

It had been almost a month since your first meeting, and your shift was coming to an end. Today was different, your supposed secret admirer hadn't visited. You didn't want to let yourself feel disappointed because you kept reminding yourself that he was just a regular customer, but it was the first time in a while that he hadn't shown up.

Janet, your coworker, leaned forwards with a mischievous glint in her eye and playfully suggested, "You know, Y/N, maybe you should ask for his number" You couldn't help but scoff at her idea, your focus on the stock list in your hands unwavering. Janet pressed on, her curiosity piqued. "Oh, come on. You're the one he always talks to when he's in here."

Your response was swift as you chuckled and met her gaze. "Janet, it's not like that," you assured her, attempting to downplay any romantic ideas she might have “He’s only interested in horror which is why it's only me that he talks to” Was your reply, but apparently it wasn’t good enough for Janet.

But Janet's grin only became more playful. "Y/N, seriously, you should consider asking for his number. It's not just the horror that he's interested in" You met her eyes before shaking your head.

"Janet, it's not like that," you added, attempting to dismiss the notion of any romantic interest. Or any interest at all.

“The signs are all there… you just don’t see it as well as we do”

"You're suggesting that I ask a customer for his number?" You posed the question, raising an eyebrow at Janet. She nodded, her expression suggesting that it was the most natural thing in the world "Some people might be comfortable with that, but not me," you explained.

"It's not about comfort; it's about confidence" Janet replied, her tone lighthearted which earned her a chuckle from you "What could go wrong? He says no, you get a little embarrassed, but then you move the fuck on. At least you tried!" she added, her words laced with a carefree attitude

"We don't even know if he's single" you pointed out with a small laugh. Janet waved off your concern with a dismissive gesture. "Janet, I don't even know his name!" You couldn't help but find the conversation amusing, and you suspected she wasn't the only coworker thinking along these lines.

"That's why you have to make the first move!" Janet insisted, her determination evident. It was clear she wasn't giving up on her matchmaking idea, but you remained stubborn in your decision not to ask a stranger for his number.

"He hasn't actually shown that he's interested in me, he only ever asks about the movies, nothing else" you explained as you rounded the desk yourself. Placing the stock list on the wooden surface in front of her, you raised your eyebrows, your tone conveying your point clearly. "So, I am making no move" you concluded, underscoring your reluctance to take the initiative with someone who seemed solely interested in film recommendations.

"What a waste" Janet sighed, her shoulders visibly deflating with disappointment. You couldn't help but snicker at her reaction "You might regret it" she warned with a playful grin, still hopeful that you might change your mind.

“We'll see" you replied with a smile, leaving the possibility open without making any commitments

╴╴╴

It was Saturday morning when it happened. Jungkook was heading to the public library to return a book that he had been reading, and he took a double glance at someone occupying a table in the corner, and he couldn't believe his eyes. It was as if an invisible force had drawn him closer to you. Angel fate, huh? In the corner you sat, typing away furiously at your laptop. An empty plastic water bottle and a sandwich package that was meant for one rather than two suggested that you had been here for a while. Your eyebrows were furrowed, a crease resting on your features as you lightly bopped to the music playing through your headphones. You were utterly engrossed in your typing, your face softly illuminated by the glow of the screen.

Jungkook couldn't help but watch you for a brief moment before realising that he should move before someone caught him staring. He relied on his stomper boots to carry him toward your table, and despite his proximity, you remained engrossed in your work, not yet aware of his approach. Anxious that you might find him strange for standing and staring, he gently waved his hand in front of him, hoping to catch your attention. Your gaze shifted from annoyance at the disturbance to curiosity as you looked at him for a brief second. With a brighter expression, you removed your headphones, signalling that you finally noticed him.

"Hi," Jungkook spoke first, a friendly smile on his face. "It's y/n, right?"

"Yeah, hi" you replied, still appearing somewhat bewildered by his unexpected presence. Jungkook could understand your surprise. After all, in your eyes, he was just a regular customer.

“Gotta admit, it's kind of weird to see you out of the shop” Jungkook replied, chuckling and it seemed to squeeze one out of you too. Well of course it's weird Jungkook.. and now she might think that you're stalking her!

“You too” Thankfully for the angel, his words seemed to elicited a chuckle from you. You didn't seem too bothered about seeing him in the library. You nodded towards the book in his hands before leaning forwards in your seat "Borrowing a book?”

“Returning actually" He told you, shrugging his shoulders "I'm sure they’re getting sick of me being here, I'm here almost every week borrowing something new”

"I wish I was into reading that much" You admitted.

He had enjoyed reading before he became one of the fallen. Earth had it's share of good books, but they couldn't quite compare to the ones he used to read. He mostly stuck to the same genre of books and was particularly interested in how human writers perceived his home. He was also intrigued how they perceived angels like him.

"I learned to love it," Jungkook replied lightly tapping the hardback book with his fingers. A small smirk graced his features before he met your eyes again, his tone slightly teasing. "Plus, I have to give myself something to do when I'm not busy with your movie recommendations" he added.

At that comment, your cheeks heated up, but thankfully they didn't turn pink. You couldn't help but blush a bit. If Janet heard about this conversation right now, she'd probably be urging you to make a move. It's not just the horror that he's interested in she had said. As much as you could fantasise about it, you couldn't quite convince yourself that he was coming into the shop just to see you. That would be too bizarre. But, seeing him here right now on your day off, it did feel like someone up there was looking out for you. You were sure this was Janet's manifestation in some way.

“Do you work at all?” Was all you could reply, moving past the heat on your cheeks and you hoped that he didn’t think the question was rude or intrusive, but when you saw him smile shyly before shaking his head at your question you were relieved to know it wasn't.

“Only when they need me.. but I'm in my last year of university” A lie “Thankfully I'm always up to date with my uni work, even if I don't attend the lectures” At this you laughed, which made Jungkook smile brightly.

“Busier than me that’s for sure”

Jungkook wished he could say why he was here. He wished that he could tell all his assignments the reason he's around them, but he didn't want to die... and he surely didn't want his assignments to die painfully because of him. That's not something he could have on his mind. He didn't want a guilty conscious.

"What are you up to?" Jungkook nodded towards your laptop before taking a seat across from you at the table. He hoped you didn't mind, but as you didn't ask him to move, he relaxed into the seat slightly, eager to continue the conversation.

“My resume…” You sighed, your shoulders deflating slightly and his eyebrows raised “My old one is a little bit outdated... so if I want to go looking for a new job, I need to update it as soon as. I can now add work experience which I didn't have much of before, and my age has changed a lot since I last wrote this” He smiled at your light tone.

“You want a different job?” He questioned, and you met his eyes before he panicked at his question “I don't mean to intrude”

“No! No, you’re fine don't worry” You assured him, and this time it was his shoulders that relaxed “I do… but then I don't. I love my job, and even more recently, but I feel like I can do more you know? I want to do more” You don't tell him that you've been enjoying your job recently because of him, because that would be weird... right?

“What job did you have in mind?”

“I've always wanted to do nannying” Your voice was soft as you spoke, and it seemed like you were almost lost in your thoughts “I used to babysit my cousins before I was hired in the video store… but then they got too old, I went full time and moved out and now I’m here”

“I’m sure you’ll get there one day”

Jungkook's face turned slightly as the conversation continued, a small thought entering his mind of the knowledge he held about your future but he quickly caught himself. He noticed you fiddling with your hands on the table, and a strong desire to reach out and take them into his own before urging you to pursue all your dreams while there was still time. But he couldn't. You leant forward, unaware of his battling thoughts and pointed at the book beneath his hand, a warm smile on your face.

“What book did you read?” Jungkook shook his head, hiding the book slightly underneath his hands.

“Oh uhm.. it’s nothing interesting”

“No please” You urged him, and it was his cheeks that burnt a little this time “Tell me”

“It’s Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick” He told you, fingers skimming over the cover gently “I'm surprised they had it to be honest, it’s one that I’ve been meaning to read”

Another lie. Jungkook has read this book four times already.

“What’s it about?” It warmed his heart slightly that you genuinely seemed interested. You were too good.

"Angels.." Jungkook began, meeting your eyes with a hint of hesitation. "It's about a girl, Nora Grey, who falls in love with an angel named Patch, who fell from heaven and becomes her guardian" he explained.

"Sounds beautiful” Is what you told him, and he smiled sweetly.

“It is”

In a way, you were his Nora Grey. Except he wasn’t there to save you, he was there to be with you when die.

"It's nice to listen to other people's interests" you shared honestly, diverting his attention from his thoughts. This time, Jungkook leaned forward, eager to hear more from you. "These days I spend most of my time talking about my favourite movies, so I enjoy hearing about other things and what others are passionate about" you added.

"If it makes you feel better, I really enjoy hearing about your favourite movies," He replied with a hint of flirtation, his eyes sparkling with interest as you met his gaze.

You did blush at that. Somehow you thought Janet had told him to say all these sweet nothings to you.

“Thank you…” You trailed off slightly, and he furrowed his eyebrows at your distracted eyes as you stared him down “I realised I don’t know your name”

Jungkook couldn't help but feel a bit foolish at that moment. He had been into your shop countless times, engaged in conversations with you, and even knew your name. And your fate. Yet here he was, sitting in the public library with you, discussing interests, and he still hadn't told you his name. If he truly wanted to get to know you better, he realised that it would have been helpful to let you know his name.

“It's Jungkook” He told you, a gentle smile on your face as he did “My names Jungkook”

“Jungkook…” He liked the way it rolled off your tongue “Nice to officially meet you, Jungkook”

“You too, y/n” He replied, then suddenly felt bold as you met his eyes again “Are you nearly done with your resume?”

“Almost but.. I can ask Dylan to run through it with me” You replied truthfully, pushing your laptop away slightly “Why do you ask?”

“Well if I go return this book.. maybe we could grab a coffee?” He questioned, and god you knew you had a lot to tell Janet next time you were in work. You thought about how happy she would be, and how she'd throw I told you so's at you. As you hesitated to respond, Jungkook nervously gulped and leaned back slightly, adding “Only if you’re comfortable though.. I know it's a bit weird you meeting a customer out of work and–"

“I’d love to” You reply was urgent, and he relaxed slightly at your eager tone. You shared a smile before nodding your head “I’d love to grab a coffee with you, Jungkook”

The air was crisp, and you both found yourselves in the quiet corners of the cafe that wasn't far from the library you both occupied not too long ago. Although you had crossed paths a few times before while you worked, you had never truly spoken to each other properly until now. Now you were both sat here together. With you no longer in your work clothes and the realisation that Jungkook was more than just a customer, the atmosphere between you both felt noticeably different.

"You know, if you're into the horror I recommend and you like reading, you should definitely check out some horror novels" You started the conversation once you were sat down in the corner, your drinks had been ordered and now it was down to you both to kill time until they arrive. Jungkook met your gaze after you were both seated "They're just as interesting and sometimes better than the films"

"And do you have any recommendations for books I should read?" He leant forwards and you nodded eagerly.

"Easiest start would be any Stephen King novel" You told him.

"That name I am familiar with" He replied, and you found yourself chuckling at his comment.

"I should hope so... he's extremely popular" He grinned at you before you continued "But there's a whole world of unsettling stories beyond King. If he's not the one for you, you should try some lesser known gems"

"Stephen King fan, are we?" His tone was teasing.

"There's something about his stories that just gets under your skin, you know?" You admitted, looking down at your hands before fiddling with your fingers. Jungkook noticed that you do this a lot. Your drinks arrived shortly after that, and you thanked the waitress in unison.

Jungkook leaned back in his chair, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I get what you mean," he replied, his gaze fixed on you "Tell me more..."

"There's this... specific way that he has the ability to tap into our deepest fears" You replied, and his face showed impression which motivated you to carry on "It's like he knows how to crawl into your mind and make you question everything. I like that sort of stuff, and it's what makes his stories so unforgettable"

"So... it's not just about the scares for you?" He questioned, and you tilted your head "It's about the thrill?"

"Yeah.. yeah that would be a good way to put it" Was he getting even hotter or were you just insane?

You continued to talk animatedly about your favourite horror novels and movies, feeling a sense of gratitude that Jungkook was not only listening but seemed genuinely interested in your likes. You had to admit, it was rare to find someone who shared a passion for this particular genre, and you couldn't help but appreciate the interest he had. This marked a change from the numerous times you had heard that people who watched horror because they wanted to were considered weird.

Yet, as you spoke, a nagging feeling crept in. You couldn't shake the notion that you might be bothering him with your enthusiasm, even though he kept asking you more about your interests. You would pause occasionally, your words trailing off, as if seeking reassurance that you weren't being too overbearing. Jungkook, however, was far from bothered. In fact, he was slightly captivated by your enthusiasm and the sparkle in your eyes when you spoke about your favourite horror stories. He found himself being drawn to your passion slightly.

Despite your babbling, you couldn't help but be intrigued by the mysterious stranger who had just become a part of your life.

"So, Jungkook," You began, your voice soft and inviting, "tell me more about yourself. We've only ever talked about movies and books.. and me"

Jungkook met your gaze, his dark eyes holding secrets that he could never reveal "Well, there's not much to tell" he replied, a trace of emptiness in his voice "I lead a pretty ordinary life. Uni keeps me busy, and so does work... whenever they need me"

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook's work involved assignments that were far from ordinary. Even if the fallen were allowed to, how would he ever explain that his work involved getting to know someone so he could ensure that they don't die a painful death? And that getting to know you was just a duty for him?

As you chatted with Jungkook, you couldn't help but feel that you'd shared a lot about yourself, but you hadn't learned much about him. The only insights you had were that he had a part time job that wasn't specified, he was in his last year of university, and he had an interest in reading books. While you didn't want to be too nosy, you just wished to know more about his life and experiences.

Plus Janet would kick your ass if she found out you didn't ask more.

"Jungkook," you said with a warm smile, his eyes lighting up as he drank his coffee "You've been a good listener... but please tell me, do you have any hobbies or something that you're interested in? Give us a break from the movies?"

At this he chuckled before nodding his head and placing his mug down on the table. He looked slightly bashful before admitting, "Well, I do have a thing for music"

"Singing? Or playing?"

Jungkook's gaze drifted momentarily, his thoughts turning to his past. "Both? I guess. I like songwriting too... maybe it's just music in general" he began "My interest for music... I've learned a lot about it from someone special to me. Friend named Yoongi"

Your curiosity was piqued, and you leaned in intrigued "Yoongi? Tell me more about him. Is he a musician too?"

Jungkook's smile faded slightly as he thought of Yoongi "Yeah, Yoongi's an amazing musician," he replied, a hint of nostalgia in his voice. "He taught me so much about music, from writing lyrics to composing melodies. We used to spend hours jamming together and creating music... and drinking whiskey"

You smiled brightly, and Jungkook noticed your eyes sparkled with interest, and you asked "Is he still in the music industry? I'd love to hear his work someday"

Jungkook hesitated for a moment, his gaze distant and you noticed this almost immediately "No, actually," he said softly "Yoongi... he moved away a while ago. We lost touch, but I'll always carry around everything he taught me"

"Well," you began, a playful glint in your eye, "maybe one day you could produce something and show it to me"

Your words hung in the air, and you could feel Jungkook's gaze intensify as he locked onto you. It was a playful flirtation, a subtle hint at a deeper connection that you hoped to explore. The tension between you lightened, and Jungkook's lips curled into a small smirk in response to your comment. He narrowed his eyes, as if he were considering your proposition with a newfound curiosity.

Jungkook's smirk deepened, and he leaned in even closer, his voice low and filled with a hint of playful charm "Oh... but you'll have to promise to be my biggest fan" he replied, and you felt bashful for a moment "I'll make sure to save the best melodies just for you"

Oh Janet your world is about to be blown.

As the conversation between you both flowed, there was a subtle shift in the air as the day got older. After a few more drinks were drank, you decided to make a small gesture. When the moment came to settle the bill, you insisted on paying for both your drinks, your determination firm despite Jungkook's protests.

As you thanked the waitress for her service, Jungkook chuckled, a glint in his eyes "You really didn't have to do that, you know" he said, shaking his head.

You smiled, your gaze locked with his after your purse was put away safely "Consider it a down payment for our next coffee date" You replied, your words registering only seconds after you said it.

A date? You thought to yourself, your mind racing Why would you call it a date? He hadn't stated that it was a date. It was just a simple run in that turned into a polite conversation over coffee!

Jungkook's eyes sparkled mischievously as he leaned in a bit closer, his tone playfully teasing "Wait a minute," he said, his voice laced with amusement as you looked over at him in panic "Are you implying that this was a date?" Shit.

"I mean... I just—" You began, your words stumbling over each other as Jungkook continued to raise his eyebrows in a playful manner, clearly enjoying your flustered state. Your panic began to overshadow his playful attitude as you struggled to find the right words "I wasn't—"

Jungkook couldn't help but tease you a bit more "Well, it can be... if you want it to be" Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you couldn't help but sink slightly in your chair, feeling a mixture of excitement and anticipation "Although, I'd like to take you somewhere much nicer for a proper date"

As the sun dipped below the horizon, you and Jungkook left the coffee shop together side by side. He offered to walk you home, and you had accepted his offer eagerly, determined to spend more time with him now that he had mentioned going on a proper date with you. Your footsteps echoed on the sidewalk, a steady rhythm that mirrored the pounding of your heart.

Jungkook, on the other hand, grappled with the knowledge that his time with you was limited.

As he contemplated the idea of a proper date with you, he couldn't help but wrestle with the consequences he might face if he did delve into romance with you. There weren't any specific 'angel' rules that forbade romantic relationships or intimacy with humans. He had heard stories of angels engaging in romantic and sexual activities with their assignments. However, for him personally, it wasn't something he wanted to pursue. He knew that allowing himself to become emotionally entangled with a human could lead to complications he wasn't prepared for.

He already had a big enough heart. He didn't want that to be damaged.

As you both reached your doorstep, your journey for today came to an end. No hug or kiss was exchanged, and no physical contact at all was passed between you both, but the air around you was charged with a different kind of connection. Well, to you it was. As Jungkook disappeared into the night once you were inside, the tension in the air lingered, a reminder of the uncertain path you were taking.

╴╴╴

As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, Jungkook's visits to your workplace became an everyday occurrence. Sometimes he would even visit at the end of your shift, just so the two of you could grab coffee together and extend your time together. Your friendship was growing stronger with each passing day, and you found yourself looking forward to his visits with eager anticipation.

You had met Jungkook at the end of spring, and as summer arrived, your friendship with him continued to grow. He had also gotten to know Dylan much better and was introduced to her boyfriend, Seokjin. For Jungkook, this was a common occurrence—being introduced to his assignments' friends as he spent more time in their lives.

One summer night in particular was special to you. It was the night when you could finally admit to yourself that you had indeed caught feelings for Jungkook. His frequent visits to your workplace, his constant need for your movie recommendations (which had now expanded beyond horror), your coffee conversations that you both took turns paying for, and his occasional flirty comments had made it almost impossible for you not to develop feelings for him. Your heart raced at the thought of him, and you couldn't deny the growing attraction you had for him.

Jungkook found himself at your home, where you lived with Dylan. It was a stroke of luck that Jungkook had ended up here. He had come into your work one day while you were discussing your plans for the evening with Dylan. Upon noticing his presence, Dylan had immediately extended an invitation to him, reassuring him that Jin would also be there and Jungkook had gladly accepted.

You were yet to tell Dylan about your feelings, but you gathered that she knew already.

Seokjin had recommended a movie that night once the food had been finished. The Matrix, an old one but classic one, is how he described it and he almost fainted at Jungkook's confession that he had never seen it before. As the movie played on, your feelings began to intensify at the smallest of interactions. You were seated on one of the two seater sofas with Jungkook, your eyes trained on the movie while Dylan and Seokjin occupied the other. The couple cuddled together, not too close due to the humid air but still maintaining a light touch. Jungkook was sitting a short distance away from you, but you could still feel his body heat next to you. It was comforting to have his broad figure beside your own. And god was he broad...

You had felt him fidget at first, wondering if he was about to get up and excuse himself to the bathroom or maybe to get a drink, but when his arm slowly but surely extended to the back of the sofa so it rested behind your head, your whole body overheated. You couldn't help but feel like a schoolgirl who had just been noticed by her crush because of the way that your body reacted, and you silently pleaded with yourself not to give in to the urge to smile at his gesture, trying to maintain your composure.

Your bodies had both drifted towards each other more after that, and by the time the movie was over you were snuggled into his side and his arm was lazily draped around your shoulder instead of the sofa. If he was affected by the humid air and the closeness you shared he didn't say, nor did he push you away. It was the most physical contact that you had shared with Jungkook since you had gotten to know him, and it felt surreal. You felt so pathetic but so good at the same time.

It wasn't brought up again after, but it still lingered in your mind.

Jungkook was well aware of the attraction you felt toward him, but he couldn't allow it to blossom into something more on his end. His duty was clear, and as was his preferences. He felt like he was leading you on with every conversation, every smile, every flirtatious comment. Yet, he couldn't deny the desire to bring happiness and excitement into your life, even if it was for your last days. Whenever that would be.

The internal struggle weighed heavily on Jungkook. He knew that he had to keep a certain distance, to not let his own emotions get in the way of his responsibility. He also couldn't help but feel like he was robbing you of something beautiful, something that had the potential to grow into a deeper, meaningful relationship. While he was aware of your feelings, he didn't harbor any, other than the empathy that he usually shared for his assignments.

But then summer passed, and he was still to ask you out on that date.

You had woken up bright and early one Thursday morning in autumn, eager to start work. No reason as to why...

You were in the kitchen, preparing your morning coffee, when Dylan came strolling in, with Seokjin hot on her heels. They were both dressed in matching halloween pyjama's, and the sight of them made you giggle. You knew that Jin must have gone through some effort to convince Dylan to wear matching pyjama's with him. She wasn't one to openly show affection often, but it was very easy for Jin to squeeze it out of her every now and then.

Dylan's expression was a mix of playful annoyance and amusement as she shot Seokjin a mock glare. He grinned back at her, looking unapologetic for his attempt at getting her into matching pajamas before he made his way into the living room and Dylan stood beside you.

"Tonight still on, I assume?" Dylan questioned, her tired eyes on you as you started preparing more coffee for both of them. You nodded in response, a bright grin spreading across your face as you recalled your plans for the evening.

"Yes, we are" You told her.

"Is Jungkook still coming?" It was an innocent question, but if only Dylan knew the power his name had over you.

"I think so" You hoped he was "He's meeting me tonight after work.. we can pick up the food on our way back"

"Sounds good..." Dylan replied, her thoughts drifting elsewhere. She had a knack for reading people, especially you, and it was becoming increasingly apparent to her how deeply Jungkook's presence was affecting you. She could tell very easily that he was becoming someone important to you, she could tell he had easily swooned you.. but Dylan remained uncertain about his intentions and feelings.

Dylan couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Jungkook's story than met the eye. She had observed your growing connection and couldn't deny that he seemed genuinely interested in you, but there were moments when she detected a layer of guardedness in his demeanor. It was as though he was holding back something, a secret that he couldn't share. As your close friend, she wanted to ensure your happiness and she couldn't help but be a bit protective.

With those thoughts in mind, Dylan sipped her coffee and decided to let you enjoy the anticipation of your evening plans.

Work was terribly busy. You shouldn't have been shocked, after all customers usually flocked in at the beginning of October in search of horror movies. It was a common occurrence for people to watch a horror movie a day on the build up to halloween, and as busy as it was you couldn't help but love every second of it. The halloween decorations that were scattered around made you feel overwhelmed with joy, and anyone who paid attention could tell that this was your favourite time of year.

The store was filled with eager customers, their eyes scanning the shelves for the perfect horror flick to kickstart their halloween countdown. You found joy in assisting them, recommending classics and hidden gems, all while sharing your enthusiasm for the genre. Your coworkers hustled alongside you, each of you contributing to the spirited atmosphere.

But as the day wore on, you couldn't help but steal glances at the clock, counting down the hours.

It wasn't too special of a night, but one that took you back to that summer night where you ended up being cosied up with Jungkook. Plus you were all indulging in a horror film, one that you've seen many times, but you'd always treat it as your first time seeing it. You knew that the familiarity of the film only added to the cozy atmosphere, as you, Dylan, and Seokjin would settle in for a night of scares and laughter. Jungkook's presence would only add an extra layer of warmth to the gathering.

The day ended quickly (or so you convinced yourself), and with a half hour remaining in your shift, you decided to make the most of it. You picked up a box of DVDs and began organising, placing them carefully on their designated shelves. As you worked, the occasional sound of a car passing by and the distant hum of the city filled the air, creating a serene backdrop for your thoughts.

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook had arrived earlier that night. Jungkook had been quietly keeping an eye on you from a distance as he often did on Thursday nights. It had become somewhat of a routine for him to ensure your safety, even though you were unaware of his nightly visits.

This particular Thursday night was different. As the darkness enveloped the streets, Jungkook noticed three unfamiliar men lingering outside the shop.

A sense of unease washed over him, not recognising these three men and concerned as to why they were outside the store so close to the closing time and it looked much more sinister when the halloween decorations of your shop were added in. It was unusual, and he couldn't help but feel concerned about their presence, especially when he held the knowledge that you were inside on your own.

Standing across the street, Jungkook continued to watch them linger outside the store. He watched as the men exchanged hushed words and cast furtive glances toward the entrance. They seemed out of place, loitering on the dimly lit sidewalk. Trying not to jump to conclusions, he watched them closely, praying that they would move along. However, his worry escalated when they finally decided to enter the shop.

Jungkook waited for ten agonising minutes, but there was no sign of the three men leaving.

He kept stealing glances from around him, to see if anyone was around, to see if anyone else would enter the store, but no one did. Jungkook couldn't shake off the growing sense of dread that was tightening its grip on his chest. Ten minutes felt like an eternity, and the absence of any movement from the shop only fuelled his concern. He knew he couldn't just stand there and do nothing.

His heart raced as he realised that you were inside.

Finally, unable to wait any longer and with a surge of determination, he rushed toward the store. It seemed like his feet couldn't carry him any faster, and he began to feel like he should have made this move the minute the men entered the store... but what if nothing was wrong? What if their intentions were harmless? What if he was overthinking?

As he pushed the door open, the eerie jingle of the bell filled the air, and he stepped inside, immediately spotting you near the movie shelves, clutching a DVD tightly in your hand as there was a half empty box beside your feet.

His heart sank at the sight of you looking so tense, with one of the men standing too close for comfort while the other two lurked menacingly in the back of the store, their intentions unclear. His instincts kicked in, and he knew he had to remain calm, for both your sakes. Without hesitation, Jungkook stepped forward, his presence commanding attention after the door was closed behind him. The men turned to face him, surprise flashing in their eyes as they hadn't expected anyone else to be in the store. Jungkook's gaze locked onto you for a moment, silently reassuring you that he was there.

"Gentleman..." He began, all eyes now on him "Is there a problem here?" Jungkook asked, his voice steady but laced with a warning that brooked no nonsense.

"There's no problem here," The man in front of you spoke first, his tone condescending "We're just browsing" As Jungkook gained the mans attention, you seized the opportunity to step back, placing some distance between yourself and the intruders.

Jungkook didn't buy their act for a second. "Browsing at this hour, with such a limited selection? Seems a bit odd, doesn't it?"

He maintained eye contact with the man, refusing to let them think they could intimidate him. Their attempts to intimidate were growing increasingly desperate, but Jungkook stood firm, his confidence unshaken.

"Why don't you just mind your business?" Jungkook now had the mans full attention, his tone of voice was now mocking and a sly grin crept onto his face, one that Jungkook would have loved to deal with. Jungkook's eyes met your figure, but now your interest was in the floor beneath you, and your fingers were white from gripping the DVD in your hand. You seemed too overwhelmed to meet his gaze.

"I'll mind my business when your business doesn't involve making her uncomfortable" The man's sly grin wavered, replaced by a hint of uncertainty as Jungkook's words hung in the air. The two men lingering in the back of the store exchanged uneasy glances. They had expected an easy target, not this new addition who refused to back down.

The tension in the small shop continued to mount. Jungkook was determined not to back down, and despite the mens attempts at intimidation, he stood his ground, knowing that your safety depended on it.

The men suddenly found amusement in the situation, their disrespectful laughter grating on Jungkook's nerves. Their cruel glances toward you only fuelled his anger, but he maintained his composure. You hoped with all your might that the situation wouldn't escalate any further and that Jungkook wouldn't get hurt. You knew that he was most likely capable of handling himself, but the presence of these three menacing figures was undeniably unnerving. The mans laughter didn't last long as he grew frustrated by Jungkook's unyielding demeanour.

"You don't know who you're dealing with, kid" he hissed menacingly. Jungkook felt like laughing back in his face. That old chestnut.

"I don't care who you are" He replied back swiftly, taking a step further into the shop "It's quite clear that you're not just hanging around or browsing, and that's a problem for me"

"Look why don't you just fuck off and go bother someone else" He scoffed.

"I could say the same for you"

It was clear that Jungkook was bothering these men. The leader of the three men exchanged a glance with his companions, his earlier arrogance replaced by a growing unease. The atmosphere in the shop shifted, and it became evident that they had underestimated the situation.

As Jungkook continued to hold his ground, you lifted your head up and watched Jungkook with a mixture of relief and admiration. His determination was shining brightly, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for his presence in this unsettling moment.

The men had been bothering you. You had tried not to worry too much when you had heard the bell ring, allowing you to understand that someone had entered the shop and you had looked up and met their eyes. Everything about their aura signalled danger, and in all your time in closing the store you had never experienced this. You had never experienced this sort of situation before, it was usually something you read of in stories or watched in the movies and the reality of it had sent a chill down your spine.

The DVD in your hand was a comfort when one of then men had continuously questioned you on why you were alone. Along with condescending questions about different horror movies, and how he mocked the girls in the movies who were alone at night before they are murdered. You weren't sure what their intentions were, but when Jungkook stormed in the store you knew you could finally breathe.

As the tension in the room reached its peak, the men finally made a move.

Seeing that their tactics weren't working as planned, the leader took a step back, reevaluating the situation. "Fine," he grumbled, his frustration evident as he sneered at Jungkook "Looks like you're spoiling our fun, mate. We'll be back another night when there won't be any interruptions"

The man was now in front of Jungkook, and it was clear who was the bigger man. You knew that Jungkook was broad, but in comparison to the man that had been bothering you, it really put how broad he actually was into perspective. Jungkook wasn't intimidated at all when the man seemed to get up in his face, sending him a scoff.

In the silent standoff, both parties sized each other up, and the tension in the shop grew thicker with each passing second. It felt like an eternity to you and Jungkook, but finally, the men decided to leave.

After they exited the shop, the tension in the air began to dissipate, and you were the first to take action, much to Jungkook's surprise. The DVD was chucked back in the box almost immediately, and you locked the door instantly, turning over the Open sign to Closed before the blinds were closed. Jungkook watched you as your shoulder deflated, as if he could see all the tension float in the air and leave your body. He grateful in that moment, thinking about the fact that you had both emerged from the situation unharmed.

The quiet tension in the shop lingered for a moment, and you remained near the door, your back turned to Jungkook. He watched you carefully, sensing your unease as you began to fidget with your hands. It was a familiar action of yours, one that he had come to recognise over the time he had known you.

"Y/N?" Jungkook spoke softly, his demeanour shifting from the assertive one he had displayed earlier. At the sound of his voice, you turned around to meet his gaze, your hands still fiddling nervously. His concern was evident as he asked "Are you okay?"

You let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the recent encounter finally sink in now that the immediate danger had passed. Meeting Jungkook's caring eyes, you nodded slowly "Yeah, I... I think I'm okay now. Thanks to you"

"I'm glad you're alright" He spoke, stepping even closer to you "You handled it well"

Your response was self-deprecating, and you couldn't help but glance down at the floor, still fidgeting with your hands "I didn't handle shit..." you muttered.

Jungkook couldn't help but smile softly at your candid response. He knew that you were likely shaken by the encounter, and he wanted to offer some comfort. Without hesitation, he took the initiative and gently held your trembling hands in his own and you breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey..." Jungkook's voice remained soft and reassuring as he held your hands, his warmth enveloping you and easing your tension. He met your gaze, his eyes filled with understanding and care as yours filled a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability "You're okay"

Your response was equally soft, your voice barely above a whisper "I'm okay," He nodded gently, his proximity comforting you "Thank you, Jungkook" Jungkook smiled warmly at you, his eyes filled with a sense of connection and reassurance.

Jungkook's warm and reassuring presence had a profound effect on you, and you couldn't help but appreciate the depth of your connection in that moment. With a shared understanding and a sense of vulnerability acknowledged between you, you both stood there for a moment longer, taking solace in each other's company.

Finally, Jungkook gently released your hands and took a step back, his smile still in place "Let's get out of here and take you home, okay?"

You nodded, feeling a renewed sense of calm and looking forward to a night of relaxation and distraction with your friends. You weren't sure if you were going to tell Dylan about what happened tonight, in fear of worrying her, but you know that you would ask your boss for another coworker to close Thursdays off with you.

Together, you left the shop, leaving behind the unsettling events of the evening, and headed toward a more peaceful ahead. That night, Jungkook didn't place his arm on your shoulder, but instead held your hand in his own. The change in Jungkook's gesture didn't go unnoticed by you. As you settled into his side, you felt a sense of closeness and intimacy that was different from before. His hand gently holding yours beneath the shared blanket that provided the perfect cover, ensuring that Dylan wouldn't notice the way his fingers threaded through your own. With the movie playing in the background, you found comfort in this unspoken closeness.

The memory of that favourite summer night when his arm was around your shoulder, had its own special place in your heart, but this new gesture felt equally meaningful, if not more so. The tension from earlier in the night slowly melted away, replaced by a sense of security as you enjoyed the movie together, hand in hand.

╴╴╴

Jungkook was in trouble.

He had always approached his assignments with detachment, or as much as he could. He understood the rules and the nature of his role, he was there to watch over and spend time with his assignments, but he personally didn't want to get emotionally involved.

He couldn't help but notice the stark contrast between you and his previous assignment. Yoongi had been a music producer, older and wiser, and his interactions with him had been filled with discussions about music and life. It had been a friendship built on shared interests and mutual respect.

And it hurt him when Yoongi died. It still does.

He had watched as Yoongi's health deteriorated, and despite his best efforts to provide comfort and support, there was nothing he could do to prevent the inevitable. Yoongi had been more than an assignment; he had been a friend, and a source of wisdom in Jungkook's life. The loss of Yoongi had left a void that Jungkook couldn't fill, no matter how much he tried to distract himself with his duties. It was a reminder of the fragility of human life and the burden he carried as one of the fallen.

You... you were different to Yoongi.

Your vibrant personality, your passion for movies and novels, and the way you approached life had started to break down Jungkook's emotional barriers. Jungkook couldn't deny that he was drawn to you in a way that was entirely new and unfamiliar. You had become more than just an assignment; you had become someone he genuinely cared about, a person he genuinely enjoyed spending time with.

As he spent more time with you, he couldn't deny the changes happening within him. At first, it was a subtle shift in his emotions. He found himself looking forward to his conversations with you and just spending time together. He enjoyed making you laugh, he enjoyed the way you flustered at his comments or the looks he gave you, or the proximity you shared on frequent movie nights.

But it wasn't just the enjoyment of your company; it was the way his heart skipped a beat whenever you were around or met his eyes. The warmth that spread through him when your fingers accidentally brushed, and how he almost blushed whenever he felt bold and held your fidgeting hands in his own. It was the way he worried about your safety and well-being more than he ever had for any other assignment. It was the way you made him feel. With you, he felt more human than he had in a long time, and it both scared and thrilled him.

Jungkook realised he was catching feelings for you, and quickly. Despite his best efforts to remain detached, his heart had other plans.

The pain of losing Yoongi was something that Jungkook carried with him every day. Even now, as he was caught in the whirlwind of emotions that came with his growing feelings for you. Each day brought a growing realisation that he was in trouble, but he couldn't bring himself to distance himself from you. Instead, he found himself wanting to be closer, to share more moments, and to experience life with you in ways he had never allowed himself before. He had already fallen for you, and there was no turning back.

He pondered his feelings everyday, even now when he was beside you as you both watched The Conjuring days before Halloween, his mind was elsewhere. This movie took him back to his first meeting with you, and how you told him it was popular but he never got round to watching it. Unluckily for his feelings, it was just the both of you occupying the house tonight.

Dylan had been more than happy to oblige your request to spend the evening with Jin, which left you with a sense of gratitude. You had practically kicked her out the door with the plans you had in mind. Still, despite your eagerness for some alone time, nerves fluttered in your stomach. You were nervous, so very nervous. You almost felt sick. Nerves mixed with excitement running through your body and you could only hope that the night goes the way you wanted it to.

Jungkook had arrived about an hour ago, and you were now halfway through the movie. You couldn't help but notice how distant he seemed, and you had wanted to ask him if anything was wrong, but he sent you a reassuring smile every now and then to make you think that he was okay. You had to calm yourself down before you did anything. You almost, almost, pulled out. Almost told yourself to stop before it went any further… but then you thought fuck it, why shouldn’t I try? If you were faced with rejection, you’d take it with pride and act like tonight never ever happened.

And you could only hope that he would do the same.

If it did go the way you hoped — then you would have a lot to talk about with him. A lot to clear, a lot to admit and come to terms with. You were prepared for that, at least you thought you were, you were ready to listen and be honest about how you felt. Again, it was just down to you to hope that Jungkook would do the same.

You had excused yourself to the bathroom, peeling yourself from the couch and the warmth he radiated by your side and the movie you had started watching. You felt bad for taking his attention from the film that he looked quite interested in whenever he didn't seem distant, but then again, he hopefully wouldn’t notice how long you would take to prepare yourself.

God. God what were you thinking? No, no you had to be brave. You wanted this, you did! The more you thought about it the more the excitement pushed out the nerves. You thought that you were okay, until you looked at yourself in the mirror and felt your heart drop.

You had never worn Lingerie for anyone, apart for yourself. You liked looking good, who didn’t? Sometimes you would throw it on when you felt bad about yourself, you had spent a day shopping with Dylan and decided it wouldn’t be too bad to head to the Lingerie shop to get something for yourselves. So when you had told Dylan your plan, she had quite literally squealed before hyping you up.

But now you were feeling nervous again. You looked good, at least you thought you did. Red was a bold colour, especially in Lingerie and was very noticeable and showed off quite a bit of skin, more skin than you have ever showed to the particular person that you were about to show it to. Red underwear matching with a red lace bra — and red lace stockings. God, you had never felt so bold. You hadn’t styled your hair, left it as it was. You hadn’t done your makeup either, thinking and hoping there was no point as it would be ruined very shorty.

Please go the way I want it to.

You took a deep breath in before reaching for the silk robe that you had borrowed from Dylan. Sorry if it gets ruined. You almost snorted at the thought, but then got even more nervous after it was tied around you — not fully, but just enough to cover yourself and give him a teaser of what you were wearing. Fuck it, you thought. Be bold. If it didn’t work, then it didn’t work, you could move on!

Live a little.

It took one more deep breath before you opened the bedroom door and stepped into the hallway. You looked down the hallway, seeing the man himself engrossed on the tv screen as the light framed around his face. The room was dimly lit, just as you had planned. You wanted him to see you in the outfit but you were too fucking nervous for him to see you fully. You were being so fucking bold right now but you didn't want to push yourself too far.

You walked down the hallway, keeping your eyes trained on him and felt the anticipation build up every time you took a step closer. Breathe, be confident. You nearly backed out, nearly ran back into the room you just exited to slap yourself silly, but found yourself freezing in your steps when he turned his head and his eyes instantly lay on you.

His face slowly fell, and you almost bolted out of there in embarrassment until you watched him move forwards to the remote before turning the volume down almost all the way, his eyes not leaving yours once.

The room had fallen into a comfortable quiet, the TV no longer blaring loudly. You took a few more steps closer, circling around the sofa until you were standing right in front of the spot where you had been sitting before. Your heart pounded in your chest as you found yourself in closer proximity to Jungkook than you were before. You left it up to him to make the next move if he wanted to.

He definitely wanted to.

“What’s this?” he questioned, looking up at your face as he moved to sit on the edge of his seat.

You couldn't help but notice that Jungkook's gaze had shifted from your face to your outfit, and a surge of anticipation coursed through you. Did he like what he was seeing? Part of you wanted to dismiss the idea that he desired you, thinking you might be delusional. But as his voice deepened and his pupils dilated, it was becoming increasingly clear that he felt something in that moment.

"Whatever you want it to be," you replied, trying to maintain your composure even as your heart raced when he flashed you a teasing smirk. Smooth? Well you hoped that you were being smooth with that response.

He fucking smirked. You were trying not to be affected just yet, but just the sight of it made your core clench.

Fuck, you were going to explode.

You thought that you were definitely going to explode when his tattooed hand reached out to hold the edge of the robe you wore. He felt the fabric between his fingertips, and at one point you felt his knuckles brush over your skin that was covered by the stockings.

Soft. Jungkook noted. Maybe it was as soft as your skin.

God it was taking everything in you right now not to pounce on him. Especially, especially, when his large hand moved before you registered it to wrap around your thigh. Oh my fucking god.

He pulled you forwards, his grip wasn’t harsh but it wasn’t light either, as if he was telling you with his touch not to go anywhere. Your skin was on fire. You wanted to mourn the loss of his hand on your thigh when he let go, but was quickly distracted when he held your wrists and placed your smaller hands on his broader shoulders. Were his shoulders always this big? Yes.

You wanted to shake yourself out of it, you were supposed to be the confident one in the situation! But every time he moved his hands you felt distracted and felt so putty. Which is why you shuddered when he moved to undo and open the robe, causing it to fall down your shoulders and rest at your elbows.

Now it was his head moving forwards, his hands planted firmly on your waist as his lips began exploring. Oh god. They ghosted over your stomach, pressing firmly then lightly, you wanted to say that he didn’t leave a single place unkissed. He didn’t go too high, or too low, just enough to keep you on your toes.

He seemed to like it when you brushed the nape of his neck with your fingernails. He seemed to like it a lot. What gave it away? The low groan he let out, and the way he nibbled your hip. You had never felt anything better. Your lips literally shuddered.

The tension was like a live wire, crackling with anticipation, and yet, you were both unsure of whether to take the next step and risk changing everything between you. It was a tension born of unspoken feelings, a tension that threatened to consume you both if it was left unaddressed.

If this was going to go his way, you wanted to have at least some fun before it happened. Which is why you quickly snapped out of it, pressing your hands on his shoulders firmly this time and shoving him backwards — his back hitting the couch as he looked up at you. Those fucking eyes. You didn’t wait for him to say anything, to do anything, because you let the robe down completely before letting it lay on the floor before you straddled him.

You actually straddled him. You couldn’t wipe the grin off your face as you heard him breathe in sharply, and you would never ever forget the way his hands gripped your waist when you placed your lips on his neck. It was your turn to taste him, just give him the same treatment he did your stomach.

And when you nibbled his earlobe the way he nibbled your hip, Jungkook nearly busted there and then.

“Fuck, Y/N….” Now that you liked. You could get used to the way he moaned your name. You could get used to the way he ran his hands up your back as you fisted his shirt in your hands. You could get used to the way his skin tasted — but you could definitely get used to the way he threw his head back and groaned when you accidentally rolled your hips.

Well.. maybe not accidentally.

You knew what to do. It wasn’t the first time you had been in this position. Why were mens groans attractive to you, you would never know, maybe it was the way that you knew it was because of you.. but hearing it from Jungkook was different. You wanted him to do it again, you wanted to hear him make that noise because of you, so you rolled your hips again and moved one of your hands up to the nape of his neck again where you had scratched before.

He actually… bucked his hips into your own. Fuck. It caught you by surprise, and you gasped at the feeling of his rather hard cock being restrained by his jeans brushing against your clit that was still covered by the lacy underwear. You were shocked at how much you actually felt it considering there were still layers separating you both, but fuck did it feel good.

“Do that again…” Did you say that? Or was it him? No. No, it was definitely you. Definitely you, especially at the way he chuckled in your ear and gripped your waist once more creating goosebumps.

“What? This?” He did it again, more firmly this time—and fuck you nearly came there and then. No! No. You were not going to dry hump him in the living room until you both came.

His face was flushed when you pulled back from his neck to look at him. Hah! You felt so smug. Usually it was him making you feel this flustered, and it felt good to have an effect on him for once. You didn’t even try to bother the way that you bit your lip as you looked at his own. You weren’t the only one who seemed smug though, from the way he smirked at you again and nudged your nose with his own.

You and Jungkook had never kissed before, despite your urge to always press your own against his.

Jungkook thought that you had teased him enough, walking into the living room dressed like that and he thought you were teasing him even more when you refused to connect your lips with your own. He would have done it first, but he could tell that you wanted to be in control right now, so he waited for you to initiate the first kiss.

You hadn’t noticed that his palms were now spread over your backside, fingertips gripping and spreading your cheeks as your intense stare continued. You could swear he pushed you down onto his groin more than once, his grip on you getting more desperate and you almost felt cruel for rolling your hips in motion with his hands.

Almost.

Because you didn’t feel cruel when he gasped and moved one of his hands up to your hair, wrapping his other around your waist and pressing your body into him even more.

“Fuck… Fuck y/n, do that again. Please. Fuck—Please do that again” Did he just… whimper? Yes. Yes he definitely did. He was speaking quickly but thankfully got his message across and you definitely caught that whimper he released at the end. The grip that he had in your hair meant that your forehead was squished against his own, and you moved your hands to hold his face “It feels so fucking good don’t you dare stop”

Who were you to deny? Especially when he was speaking to you like that. The deep voice combined with the gasps and groans he was letting out? That whimper almost got you. Yeah. Yeah, you could definitely get used to this.

You did it again. Then again. Then once more. Each time you did it, you did it more firmly, picking up the pace. His grip was getting tighter, and the way that his arm was wrapped around your waist made it easier for him to buck his hips into yours each time you moved. God. God, fuck. How was he supposed to control his breathing when it felt so fucking good?

It was getting more heated, more desperate. The friction against his cock and against your clit felt so fucking good for both of you. Jungkook was losing his mind, he was so fucking hard and the way that you were rubbing against him so firmly, so perfectly, he nearly came on the spot. More, more, he wanted more.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good baby” He was practically breathless. If you weren’t soaked at this point, you definitely were now.

You was so close, and you could tell he was too. From the way his hips bucked into your own harder and harder, and the way his arm was pulling you into him to the point where there was nothing between you both. God he felt—you were definitely going to cum from this. You didn’t want to though. You wanted tonight to last. You wanted to come around his cock, not on top of his jeans. But the feeling of him rubbing against you like this was just heavenly, and you found yourself gasping when he did one particular thrust that was hard.

“Fuck…Oh fuck, baby—“ Keep fucking going.

You paused suddenly when he did, and you were about to ask him what was wrong, but he threw his head back and let out a even longer groan. His hips stuttered, and his grip was even tighter now, almost painful and you would have complained if you didn’t realise what had just happened.

“Did you just cum?”

He did cum. In his jeans. In your living room while you dry humped each other like some hormonal teenagers.

Well done, Jungkook. He blew his load before he got to touch you properly. Before he even kissed you.

The thought made him embarrassed. Your question made him embarrassed. Sitting there with his head resting on the back of the couch, coming back down from his (great) orgasm while he still gripped you made him embarrassed. Well, there goes your chance. You had dressed up for him. Made him feel good. You had one job to make it amazing for her and you came before she did. In your fucking jeans.

Why had he asked you to keep going? He should have known. It felt good. So fucking good. Amazing actually. He should have known that asking you to keep going would have made him cum that quickly. Oh, and the way you moaned his name…

He didn’t want to let you go. If he did you’d disappear. Laugh at him for orgasming so early before you even did anything close to sex. Shit.

He remembered now, the reason he was here. The reason why he got to know you. He shouldn’t have let it get this far. Sat in your home, as he had done for a few months now. Yes he was meant to get to know you, was meant to make sure your death was painless whenever it would happen…. but he was never meant to like you like this.

For his sake. For his hearts sake.

Because although your friends may forget him after you died, he would still remember everything. He’d remember you. He’d remember everything you shared.

And now he just signed himself up for heartbreak.

Your lips on his neck distracted him for a moment. So you weren’t mad? Okay. That was good. You weren’t laughing at him either. You probably wondered why he was just sitting there, not saying a single thing. You probably knew he was embarrassed, you wanted to show him that you didn’t care. He did. So fucking embarrassed. You’re too good. He just wanted to just hold you, just for a bit longer. Maybe calm down before going further. All the way. Make you feel good like you had just made him feel good.

He wanted to lie you down. Rip the lacy clothing off of you. He’d buy you more. Especially if it meant that you would do this more often. He wanted to taste you, everywhere. Make you moan his name even more. Make you sound more like than angel than he ever was. He wanted his fingers all over you. He wanted his cock inside you. Your cunt, your mouth, wherever you wanted to take him. He wanted to make you orgasm. Multiple times. He was sure he could do it. He’d praise you for doing so well, telling you how good you were and how good you felt for him.

He wanted to walk around the small town the next day, a fat fucking grin on his face and bathe in the pride of finally being with you. Loving you. Finally making you his. He hoped to see you in work, make your day brighter, maybe bring you food and then walk you home when your shift was finished. He wanted to hold you on movie nights without having to use a blanket to cover the contact you shared. He hoped he could take you again. And again and again. Making you feel even better than last time. He wanted your friends to see how happy you made him, and how happy he made you.

Before it was too late.

“Y/N?” He questioned. He only received a small hum in return as your lips painted around his neck. So good. He hated himself “Y/N… Y/N we have to—we can’t”

You paused. Fuck. His heart was drumming for a different reason now. He moved his hands so they were on your waist once more. Just a little longer. Just let me hold you for a little longer. The confusion on your face when you looked at him broke his heart. I’m sorry. You smiled gently at him, holding his face just as lightly and he wanted to curse at everything for making him so stupid.

Stupid for liking you.

“What do you mean we can’t?” I’m sorry. It would be so easy. Just so easy for him to lie you down, get carried away and just stay silent about his stupid decision. Treat you like you deserved. He wanted to. He wanted to take you. He wanted to cherish you.

But he couldn’t. He was being held back.

“I—“ He didn’t know what he could say. He stupidly, so stupidly let his actions talk. He hated the way you looked at him as he moved you off of his lap. He hated the way you watched him as he stood up, readjusting his jeans embarrassingly. He especially hated the way you flinched after he picked up the robe off the floor, placing it around your shoulders to cover you up “I meant that we can’t… we can’t do this. Whatever it is we’re doing”

Disgusted. How dare he! What, he came in his jeans and now he was embarrassed? You didn’t care! In fact, it had made you want it even more. You did that. You made him cum. You made him feel good. You gave him relief. He came because of you! Now he was pushing you away. Was he embarrassed? You felt conflicted. You felt horrible about yourself. You felt angry. Used.

Especially when he began walking towards the door.

You stood up, forgetting to stop the robe from falling. He had his back to you, and he looked like he was in a rush to get out of there. Jesus, what had you done that was so bad? Did you overstep the boundaries? Did you make him uncomfortable?

No. No he had asked you to keep going. He told you did he not? He told you, it feels so fucking good don’t you dare stop. Those were his words! Or did you imagine it? Fuck, now you were definitely confused.

“Did I do something wrong? Make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry if I did, I thought you wanted me to” I’m sorry.

No, he should be apologising. He’s the worst. He’s the fucking worst. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t make me uncomfortable. You made me feel fucking amazing. Incredible.

“I wasn’t—I mean you didn’t…” Spit it out Jungkook! “You didn’t do anything wrong I just—I don’t know I just don’t think we should…. I don’t think this is a good idea”

“This? You mean us… sleeping together?” He turned to face you again and nearly popped another boner seeing you in that fucking Lingerie. Keep it together, Jungkook “I mean that’s okay! I can go and change and we can forget this happened. We can just… be friends again, finish the movie. I won’t try anything that makes you uncomfortable, I promise”

Too good. You were too fucking good. He wasn’t uncomfortable. Far from it. You fucking idiot, Jungkook. No. We can’t forget this happened. Every time Jungkook looked at you, he’d see you in the red Lingerie that you put on for him.

For him.

Whatever you want it to be, you said. More. He wanted more of you. More of your time, your attention and he wanted to see more of you in that outfit. Time wasn’t something that you had.

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore”

Silence. A moment passed. Then another.

“What?” Finally. It was killing him. He wanted you to shout at him. Tell him he wasted your time. He wasted what they had built. He had-he had wasted it. He wasted it, because you couldn't know the real reason why he got to know you in the first place.

Maybe it would be better if you knew. Maybe it would make you understand… then he wouldn’t have to live after you left him. He’d be executed. He wouldn’t have to live without you. But that price would be high also.

You’d die painfully. Not the way you deserved to go, and all of this would be worthless. You’d die regardless. There was no way to get around this.

“We need to stay away from each other. You need to stay away from me” Ouch. Clearly, Jungkook wasn’t the best when put in these situations. Not the best way to word it.

It would still count, right? He got to know you. That was the only condition. He had to get to know you for you to have a painless death. Why was he so empathetic. Why did he have such a big heart. Distancing would help. It would help him.

“Are you embarrassed?” You were angry. So angry. Jungkook was so, so glad that it was dark enough in the room so he didn’t see the pure rage in your eyes “What? You’re embarrassed that you blew your load in your jeans and now you’re going to avoid me? You really think I give a shit? I just said that I can forget it ever happened—it shouldn’t mean that you give up on our friendship”

“It’s not about me blowing my load in my jeans”

“Then what is it about, Jungkook? Because I’m really having a hard time trying to understand what I did so wrong that completely ruined what we—“

“I like you” A moment, then a breathe "I... Fuck. I really fucking like you"

He wished that it was dark enough so he couldn’t see you. He wished he could forget the way he made you flinch again, but with his words this time. He wished he had been given someone else because then he wouldn’t be in this situation where his heart quite literally ached at the way you stood there. The same person he had gotten to know and discover that he actually wanted outside of his stupid angel lifestyle. He had never been in love before. He had never felt it before... was this love?

But if love felt like this he never wanted to feel it again.

“What?” You were in disbelief at his confession. He liked you? You could live with that. You liked him too! His confession would have made you heart flutter if this was a different scenario. If you weren’t feeling so used right now. Why was he so… upset about it?

“I’ve never—” Your eyes were pleading. Be honest. He hated himself, but he knew that he owed you this at least. So he admitted defeat, looking shamelessly down at the floor “I’ve never liked someone before… and I don’t want it to be with you"

“With me…” Your voice broke. So did his heart.

“Y/N..”

“Is it such a bad thing to fall in love?” No. It wasn’t. At least he never thought it was “Is it such a bad thing to fall in love with me?”

Jungkook had never thought about falling in love. Jungkook had never thought about having feelings. Real, human feelings. Maybe he should have expected this to happen eventually. You were too good to die. Jungkook wanted to spend an eternity with you. But that wasn’t the plan for you.

“Feelings are complicated” He was going around this the wrong way. He knew he was. He was scared “And I don’t want to break my heart”

“So it’s okay to break mine instead?”

He hated this. He hated how you almost seemed calm, but your eyes were so glossed he could probably see his reflection if he was close enough. He wanted to you lash out. Please lash out at me, he wanted to beg.

Could he rewind time? Go back to a minute ago when your body was warm against his own, giving him the most pleasure he’s ever felt. He ever will feel.

You didn’t care at this point. You didn’t care that you were just stood in the living in your Lingerie that you had put on not that long ago to seduce the man in front of you. Him. What he was telling you combined with the fact that you had your orgasm stripped away from you when you were so close. He was throwing this away because he was scared?

No. No you weren’t going to have that. You weren’t satisfied with that.

You moved forwards and he looked down at the floor to avoid your eyes. He should walk away, he should leave… but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He wanted you.

It was gentle the way you held his face after you reached him, and he felt his body relax almost immediately and he shut his eyes to stop himself from looking at your body. The only body he ever wanted to see.

“Please…” He whispered and your bottom lip trembled slightly “Please don’t make this harder than it already is”

“I like you, Jungkook” You told him and he shook his head “I do. I do, and you like me too so why would you ever throw this away when we both have what we want?”

“It’s not that easy…”

“Like hell it isn’t” You replied, voice firm and he finally opened his eyes to look into your own “It never is, don’t you get that? It isn’t meant to be easy. Liking you was easy before today though…”

You had found it in yourself to let out a small chuckle and he smiled slightly. It wasn’t much, but it still warmed your heart. His hands covered your own as you held his cheeks, your thumb brushing the scar that you adored. The scar that made him, him. The man that you fell in love with. The man you may love forever.

God. You were perfect. Why did it have to be you? Why did it have to be you he met for this reason?

Your lips moved to his nose gently, pecking it before you shared your own smile, and after he met your eyes you finally pressed your lips against his own and he could have melted away there and then.

Kissing you felt like he was hit by every season all at once, and why it felt so surreal to him he would never know. Your body near his own was enough to send him into overdrive, and he had wanted to kiss you since you walked into the living room. He had wanted to kiss you since he discovered he liked you.

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the two of you to get carried away, and what was once a meaningful and sweet kiss turned into a wet mess as tongues were mixed together and hands were moving mindlessly. You had never felt more alive when his tongue slid inside your mouth, skimming over your bottom lip. It was wet and it was messy but it was fucking hot.

He felt your breasts, your ass and your waist and he very quickly understood that loving you was very easy. You made him feel so good, so alive, so human and loved. He never wanted to let you go, let this go.

You had groaned when his thigh slid between your legs allowing you to grind on the thick muscle. You knew that your clit was thanking you because it was finally feeling the relief it was stripped from earlier. Jungkook knew, he felt it in the way that you squeezed your legs around him and wrapped your arms around his waist as his hand secured itself in your hair as he refused to move his lips from your own.

I like you. He uttered in his mind. I like you, I like you, I love you.

He didn’t say it with his mouth because he knew it would cost him to pull away from your lips. But he pulled away anyway, and that’s just because of the way he was muffling your moans. He wanted to hear you. He wanted to hear it all because he knew what he had to do after this moment had ended.

Whenever Jungkook was with you, it was as if the world outside ceased to exist. It was easy to forget who he was. Easy to forget the real reason why he was here… but it was still in the back of his mind. The real reason for his visits and his friendship never fully escaped his mind. It lingered there, a persistent reminder that he couldn't ignore.

His mouth was now by your ear, and he kept one hand in your hair as the other moved to your ass and guided you on his thigh. He was breathing heavily, and fuck it was so hot for you to hear. How did you get to this so quickly?

“Let go for me…” He whispered, and now it was your turn to whimper for him “Let go, Y/N”

“Fuuuuck–“ And you did.

It was almost painful the way you clenched his thigh between your legs as you came but he wanted to the pain, he wanted it to last. Without his hands you would have been a puddle on the floor because despite your heart breaking, your body felt incredible.

You finally got the release you wanted from the man you needed it from. You had only wished it was under different circumstances.

His eyes met yours before he kissed you again, more desperately and you felt weak in his arms. His body, bigger and broader than your own was practically glued to you and you thought that you could die here right now, in the arms of the man that you loved.

You could make this work. Or so you thought.

He pulled away. No, Jungkook you pleaded in your head let me hold you for longer.

“I’m sorry” He whispered, lips brushing your own as he did “But I can’t”

“Jungkook—“

“I’m sorry” But it was worthless.

“Please don’t make it wasted time, please” You were crying at this point and practically pleaded with him–but he had to do this for him. He should have told you that it wasn’t a waste of time. He wanted to stay just a little longer, just to see you. But he didn’t.

Tired. He was tired.

He looked at your eyes once more. Wanted to hold you longer. Kiss you longer. Take you to bed and apologise for everything. Whether it be with sex or just holding you, he didn’t care. But he couldn’t, and it took everything in him to pull himself away from you especially when you gripped him tighter. He looked away from your eyes and you watched him as he opened the door, not even hesitating to walk out of it as it shut behind him.

Everything inside you broke.

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therealestgalthereis · 6 months

Text

EDDSWORLD X READER COMFORT

This was a req by @crystalwhisp

I wasn't sure of WHAT you wanted the reader to be ashamed of so i kinda left it blank, so its UP TO INTERPERTATION </3

Edd You were sitting on your bed, clutching your sides tightly. You felt like literal shit, unable to work on anything, not even having the energy to get out of bed. To be honest, you didn't feel like you deserved to get up anyways. Why did you deserve nice things? Tears rolled down your face, and you hiccupped through your gritted teeth. You weren't sure why your boyfriend, Edd, stayed with you so long. He was perfect, kind, sweet, extremely caring and funny, creative.. everything you thought you weren't. In your eyes, you were an emotional wreck, with too much baggage to function properly. Since you were so deep in your self-loathing, you hadn't even noticed your room door opening, or your boyfriend stepping in. "..Love?" Edd said, his tone concerned. Your head shot up to look at him through tear-filled eyes. "Edd?" as you spoke, your voice cracked, and was wobbly. Edd rushed over to you, hugging you tightly. "Oh, what happened?" He asked, gently rubbing circles on your back.

For the rest of the night, the two of you were in eachothers arms, Edd comforting you, telling you that you were deserving of love, deserving of anything, and everything nice. --------

Tom (It's gunna have the same start sorry :(( ) You were sitting on your bed, clutching your sides tightly. You felt like literal shit, unable to work on anything, not even having the energy to get out of bed. To be honest, you didn't feel like you deserved to get up anyways. Why did you deserve nice things? Tears rolled down your face, and you hiccupped through your gritted teeth. You couldn't even remember fully what had set off your sobbing. Maybe it was your family, something that happened, maybe you had bottled up your feelings for too long and it all spilled out. It didn't matter. You took a sharp gasp of air, trying to regain your breath. Your boyfriend, Tom, would be home soon - and you didn't want him to worry. Then, to your horror, the door opened, Tom stepping inside your room. "Hey, babe, I got the fuckin' uh.." He trailed off when he saw your crying, his 'eyes' widening a bit. Tom dropped the shopping bag and urgently ran to you, croutching down to be at your eye level, "What's wrong!?" He asked in a panic. Tom.. wasn't the best at comforting, since he always sought after a solution to what was bugging you. "I-- I'm sorry, it's nothing!" You said quickly, roughly rubbing your face with your sleeve. Tom's expression softened and he took your hands in his, "Hey, hey, I'm here for you, y'know.. you're my partner after all." You sobbed harder, hugging Tom tightly. He shushed you gently, playing with your hair. -----

Matt You were sitting on your bed, clutching your sides tightly. You felt like literal shit, unable to work on anything, not even having the energy to get out of bed. To be honest, you didn't feel like you deserved to get up anyways. Why did you deserve nice things? Tears rolled down your face, and you hiccupped through your gritted teeth. You felt like the scum of the Earth. To be honest, you wanted to see Matt, your boyfriend. He always knew how to make you feel better. With shaking hands, you grabbed your phone and texted him, asking him to come see you.

Within seconds, your door was flung open, and Matt ran to you, tackling you to your bed with a massive hug. "Sweets! What's wrong, I got your message!!" He began going into a frenzy of questions, kissing all over your face. "I will not have my lovely partner feel upset!" He declared, before grabbing your phone, putting on your favourite show. Matt set up the phone so you could see it, watching it with you as he held you close to him. ------------

Tord You were sitting on Tords lap, crying into his chest. He had found you sobbing in your room, and had brought you to his room, allowing you to cry as long as you needed to. He gently rubbed circles on your back, murmuring what you assumed were comforting words in Norwegian. He sweetly kissed the top of your head, "How about we get some sleep?" He suggested, lifting you up. He moved aside his blanket and laid you down, pulling the covers over you after he had gotten inside the bed beside you. Tord pulled you onto his stomache, having you lay on your stomache on him. He wrapped his arms around you, "I love you, sweets. Have a good sleep, my beautiful dove."

#eddsworld #ew tord #eddsworld tord #tord eddsworld #tord ew #eddsworld tom #tom ew #eddsworld x reader #matt ew #ew matt #ew edd #x reader comfort

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nariism · 9 months

Text

chaos makes the muse

pair. hayakawa aki x gn!reader

content: enemies to lovers, fluff, mentions of addiction and smoking cigarettes (negatively, i'm sorry smokers pls look away), reader is a little shit and aki is sick and tired, swearing

synopsis. aki's life is defined by bad decisions and terrible habits. it culminated in you. he's screwed.

wc. 6.2k (oops)

a/n: this is my preemptive apology for all the smokers out there who i just slandered !! i am so sorry i love you. this fic was meant to be experimental with tropes and dynamics i've never tried before, sorry if it's not entirely up to standard :') i really tried my best guys... enjoy!

it started as a challenge.

it always starts as a challenge for aki — from the lit end of his cigarette to the place where it sits dangerously between his teeth. he picked it up as a bad habit from himeno. that was his first challenge; the way he'd adamantly refused to smoke but ultimately caved over a lukewarm bowl of ramen. what a depressing tale.

it wasn't meant to be anything more than a "why the hell not?" sort of defiance against the universe.

he hadn't been broken in by devil hunting yet and didn't need it as something to take the edge off. oh, how he wishes he could go back in time and slap himself silly.

day by day he found his reliance grew. an unpleasant itch in his throat, an insatiable craving that would slam into his chest and leave him breathless at the most inconvenient times. sometimes he would start muttering to himself in irritation when he got that familiar itch right after brushing his teeth.

as he got older and worked a little longer as a devil hunter, he grew less and less sane the longer he went without a smoke.

that was the second challenge; trying to focus on his jobs when his brain was buzzing with need. it was hard to stay sharp when he could feel the box sitting in his front pocket — agonizing, teasing, mocking him.

it's probably the reason he ended up in this mess in the first place, standing across from makima while she lists off all the ways he messed up on his last job. and the list is long. he must have really needed a dart.

so here he is, back turned to the door as he faces makima head-on. his fingers instinctively drum against the pocket of his pants, along the box sitting there, and all he can think is "i can't wait to get out of here for a smoke."

then the door swings open. a chill runs down his spine before he even turns around, because there's a certain air that enters the room unlike any he's felt before.

he's encountered the scariest devils out there. his whole family was taken out by a gargantuan gun-infested lovecraftian monster. but for some reason, aki gets an unfamiliar wave of horror that washes over him when he finally turns around.

"this is your new temporary partner until i'm sure you can be trusted alone on another mission."

and there you are. his third challenge.

you seem too relaxed to have been in this business for long, though it looks like you could only be a year or two younger than him. there's something about you that ticks him off. you're not a fiend — definitely not with how plain you are, but the way you're scowling at him as if he's a disease on this earth makes him second guess it.

aki can't even hear what makima is talking about anymore, too busy melting into a puddle under your heavy, judgemental glare. silence fills the room and aki is acutely aware that he's supposed to introduce himself, but you're too quick to speak and beat him to the punch.

"you smoke," is your deadpan and rather uncalled for observation.

"yes i do. and?"

you scrutinize him with a sneer, clearly disgusted.

"i don't like the smell of smoke. or smokers."

his jaw nearly drops at your bluntness. for the sake of keeping his cool exterior intact, he steels himself and takes a deep breath. it's fine. he knew how to deal with handfuls like you, like denji, like power. trouble kids. this would be easy–

"i promise you, i'll be uncooperative and keep you as a hostage in lower paying jobs until you quit."

"you... can't be serious?"

"dead serious."

"... and who the hell are you again?"

"i don't tell people my name."

"this whole mysterious act sucks. and your attitude sucks, too."

your glare sharpens at his words and you huff like a child throwing a tantrum. he almost wants to laugh at how your expression has changed. instead, he holds out his hand with a resigned sigh. "alright, alright. i'm sorry. my name is hay-"

you slap his hand away; a wordless warning accompanied by another look that makes him shrink back.

"don't care. didn't ask."

makima smiles, cruel and knowing. "i'm glad to see the two of you getting along. you're dismissed."

aki knows he shouldn't be mad at makima. it was his fault in the first place that the devil got away, and only because he was so distracted. this was a fair punishment for such a severe mess up. if this was her way of teaching him a lesson, he would just have to grit his teeth and bear through it.

he stares you down with disdain sitting under his tongue, bitter and unforgiving like the aftertaste of his black coffee in the morning; like having a mouthful of power and denji's burnt breakfast; like the tar that coats his lungs.

"fine then, be that way. nice to meet you, partner."

aki's mornings start slow.

they always have, for as long as he can remember. he wakes up just after the crack of dawn, to which denji has called him sick in the head multiple times for, and spends his time unwinding before he inevitably has to go into work and be on high alert for ten hours straight.

it's a peaceful morning like any other. he's on his balcony overlooking the quiet streets of tokyo. denji and power haven't woken up yet, so he has at least a few moments of solitude (which he so desperately needs, by the way).

he cracks open a new box of cigarettes and shakes one into his hand. he's two seconds away from flicking open his lighter to start his morning smoke when–

"i told you i don't like smokers."

aki nearly falls off the balcony in surprise, whipping around to see the intruder. you're standing there with another frown on your face. he has to wonder if you can smile at all.

"how did you get into my apartment?!"

"huh? the front door. are you stupid?"

"but–" aki's head tilts so that he can peer over your shoulder. there's no sign of anyone else being awake to let you in, which means you must have just taken the liberty of waltzing on in here unannounced. "don't sneak up on me like that. i could have hurt you."

"why would you do that?"

"excuse me? because you just broke into my apartment, for fuck's sake."

"i didn't!" you argue back defensively, fumbling in your pocket to pull out a key. and in that moment, aki realizes something deeply, deeply terrible. just as makima had sprung the role of babysitter onto him with denji and power, she has now bestowed upon him possibly the most irritating human being ever born.

this can’t be happening. he couldn’t possibly get stuck with a third unbearable roommate. what kind of shitty karma does he have?

"i... i need a minute."

your tongue clicks in annoyance. "hurry up. i want to leave for work asap."

"just go in yourself. i can meet you there later."

"i don't have a car."

it's as if thunder claps in his ears. "you... don't... have a car..." he repeats back to you slowly, utterly defeated. "at least let me finish getting ready."

you eye the cigarette still held between his fingers with nothing but contempt. "i don't like–"

"yes, yes, i get it! you don't like the smell of smoke. you don't like me."

your face scrunches slightly as you fall silent. if he didn't think you were being such a pest right now, he might have thought you looked a little cute.

"it hurts my nose."

"you have a sensitive nose or something?"

"or something."

his eye twitches.

aki very quicky learns that when you don't like how things are done, you're very vocal about it. and not only are you vocal, if he ever decided to be stubborn you would take actions into your own hands.

he can't count how many times you've stomped up to him in the middle of a job just to slap the cigarette straight out of his mouth and snuff it out with your heel. he's starting to get antsy because of it.

you're a menace. sometimes he even finds that a box of cigarettes he had purchased the night before has mysteriously ended up drenched at the bottom of the bath. it's infuriating.

he doesn't understand how someone could be so intolerant to a scent. he knew it was unpleasant, but he would like to think that he has impeccable enough hygiene to at least be passable. hell, even denji and power don't seem to notice or care.

(not that it's a very high bar to clear when it comes to them. denji once ate a kid's half-chewed leftovers off the table at mcdonalds and said it was a waste of food. aki was not pleased.)

it's not until he's known you for exactly sixty-two days that he learns the truth. two agonizing months of taking a single drag before you come over to him and snatch the cancer stick right out from under his nose.

aki isn't sure how he never noticed — the minute twitch of your nose when you were drawing closer to a devil. the way your shoulders stilled as you held your breath around denji and power.

he thought you were just a regular human being. he should have known makima wouldn't have paired him with someone normal. you were makima's personal devil tracker.

"it's this way," you tell him as you lead him further into the tunnel. it's almost pitch black. aki can't get a read on anything around him.

"how do you know?"

you look at him with an brow raised, like he just asked a really dumb question. "i can smell it."

"you can smell it?"

"i can smell it,” you repeat in confirmation.

"you're insane. there's nothing down here. let's just go back and regroup with–"

you suddenly swivel around, the flashlight in your hand beaming into his face. he has to cover them with a hand as he scowls at you for temporarily blinding him.

"no! it's here! it would just be easier to find if someone wasn't masking up its scent!"

aki's eyes roll into the back of his head at your little jab. "don't waste my time. i have better things to be doing than babysitting you down here."

he gestures dramatically for you to continue walking, shuffling around in his pocket before pulling out a dart. you glower at him distastefully.

"are you for real right now? you can't go 5 minutes without a smoke?"

he just shrugs, lighting it as he trails behind you. "if i need one then i need one."

"i can't believe you. you're seriously so childish," you sputter out, turning around to glare at him.

aki just sighs tiredly, blowing smoke into your face.

he can't wrap his head around why denji and power have taken such a liking to you.

you're rude and blunt and shameless with your remarks. if he was irrational he might have knocked you out by now for constantly swiping darts out of his mouth.

your relationship is purely obligatory. there's a level of mutual trust between you and him; there has to be for the two of you to be a partially functioning team of hunters — but even then, you bicker. and as soon as you're home, you rush into your room in a flurry of curse words and bites that leave aki grumbling to himself.

he doesn't get it. there's not an ounce of appeal.

you have a plain style and an even less exciting personality. he also thinks you have an ugly attitude problem and act like a brat when you want something from him. he always caves, too, which is the worst part — it's some unawakened big brother instinct that he never got to feel as a kid.

he spoils you too much for your own good.

don't want carrots in your curry tonight? fine. he doesn't want to hear you complaining about it, or worse, flinging them around the room with power. again.

saw something at the hundred yen store on the way home? whatever. it's just a hundred yen. if you want it then he'll buy it even if it's something as stupid as a charm for your keychain.

and he hates that you find it all so sentimental, the cheap little trinkets he gets for you. he absolutely loathes the fact that you lug them all around with you. they clink and jingle as you walk around, a clear dead giveaway when you're trying to be stealthy during a job.

(the kicker? it's so endearing that he can't even find it in himself to scold you for it. he despises you for making him even consider calling you cute.)

he should have grown a stronger resolve about this sort of thing. otherwise, he would have been coming home unscathed tonight.

he exhales in exhaustion as he watches you retreat into your room again for the night before he shuffles over into the bathroom and sits at the edge of the tub. he had just bought you a little bracelet with a bell charm on it, jingling with every step you took. it was a grave mistake to bring it into enemy territory.

as much as he would love to place the blame on you, he can't. not when you're so much less experienced out in the field than he is, and not when you were so reserved the entire ride home.

it was his fault. he should have known better.

you were eerily silent as you drove (he was in no condition to drive, so despite his reluctance handing you his car keys, he really had no choice). there was a look on you that was unrecognizable — something morphed between guilt and worry.

he usually doesn't smoke in the confines of his apartment, taking his cigarettes outside where it'll smell less. but he needs one badly right now, and who are you to stop him in his own home?

he catches his reflection in the mirror above the sink. it hits him then how much of a mess he is right now; hair disheveled and masking his vision, blood staining his white button-up, sweat sticking to his forehead and smoke rising to veil half of his face.

aki doesn't get paid enough for this.

"you look like shit."

his eyes flutter closed at the sound of your voice from the door. you invite yourself in, standing a few feet away from him with a hand covering your nose.

"smell like it, too."

"yeah, i bet," he mumbles, pulling the dart from between his teeth to blow smoke in your direction like he always does when you’re pissing him off. you wave it away with a scowl.

"that was rude."

"speak for yourself."

"you suck."

"did you come in here just to be a bother?"

your face twists and he almost bursts out laughing at the constipated expression you give him. you fumble a little with your sleeves, gaze falling to the floor as you stand there like a kid who just threw up and needs their mom to come clean it up.

"do you need help?" you ask him, voice nearly inaudible.

he considers it for a second before his eyes drift to the cigarette still lit between his fingers. "no. it's fine. it's probably better if you're not in here with me right now."

"but you're hurt."

"i've been through worse. i'm fine, really," aki raises a brow at you and your strange behaviour, "don't worry about it."

you're silent again for a moment as his words sink in. "i feel bad. i feel like it's my fault." you sound earnest about it, chewing on your bottom lip guiltily.

he exhales loudly in response, shifting his weight a little on the tub so he can unbutton his shirt. "okay, okay. quit making that face. it's creeping me out."

you huff at his words but surprisingly offer no rebuttal. you waddle over to him slowly, brows furrowing further with each drag of your feet against the tile floor. he watches you curiously as you rummage through the sink cabinet and kneel in front of him, body resting between his thighs.

if you can feel how warm he gets from the action, you don't bother teasing him about it.

your nose is entirely scrunched up now, though you do your best to hide your clear disdain for the scent of smoke filling your nose.

"you really don't have to do this. i promise i'm okay."

you leer at him stubbornly and he immediately relents, not in the mood for a petty argument. you work quickly and delicately, wrapping his wound in gauze. it's then that he realizes there's no tiny jingle of a bell filling the air as you move, and he looks down to see your empty wrist.

"for the record, it wasn't your fault," he says quietly, hand stopping yours. you don't try and slap it away this time, but falter a bit.

"... you don't have to try to be nice to me."

"i'm not trying to be nice. i'm just telling you how it is."

"but–"

"no buts."

your eyes meet his as you peer up at him. you stay still for just a beat before you're wrapping him again, careful not to nick his wound.

are you... crying?

it's subtle, the little tears gathering on your lashes. he might not have realized if it wasn't accompanied by the tiniest of sniffles (which makes you recoil back slightly with the intrusion of smoke filling your lungs).

oh no. he's growing a soft spot for you because of this. the most irritating human on the planet, and he wants to give you a hug so you'll stop crying. what the hell is wrong with him.

aki's hand plops onto the top of your head before either of you realize it's happening. he awkwardly averts his stare.

"don't cry. it's ugly on you."

and it really is, because why else would his heart be having such a violent reaction to it?

for a second he anticipates the sharp sting of your hand smacking his away again, or maybe you'll even be so angry that you'll tilt your head up and sink your teeth into him like a rabid animal.

but you don't. you laugh — a real genuine laugh that makes him dizzy.

he's never been able to picture you with a smile on your face before. you always look feral, like you're about to launch at him and tear his skin off, or so tired that you can't even keep your eyes open anymore.

he sucks in a deep breath as he watches you laugh, blinking the tears out and wiping them up with your sleeve.

you don't say anything to him in response, instead giggling to yourself as you bandage him up the rest of the way. and he doesn't say anything either, not wanting to ruin something so special.

aki realizes that there's still a cigarette he's unconsciously rolling between his fingers. he hasn't taken a drag in so long that it's starting to extinguish itself. and despite the smell of smoke filling the room, you haven't stopped cleaning his wound and wrapping him.

he crushes it up in his hand and drops the ashes into the tub behind him.

he really should quit.

there's a shift in aki in the following weeks.

it's almost palpable — the way he speaks a little softer. a little more tender. kinder. and you can smell it, too; the scent of smoke slowly disappearing over time (not entirely, mind you, but it's the thought that counts).

you first noticed it when you came home from mcdonalds with denji, fries stuffed into your cheeks as you blinked down at aki who was on his hands and knees wiping down every square inch of the apartment.

"come on man, we're not that messy for you to be doing all that..." denji complained while scratching his balls. but aki didn't dignify him with a response, dutifully using a sponge and warm soapy water to scrub at the walls.

you observed him in secrecy later that night, peering into the bathroom as he dumped out the bucket of brown water. he was scrubbing the apartment clean of two years worth of smoke.

it didn't end there. as the months passed, you started smelling it on aki less, too.

once he smoked he would shower right away, even going so far as to pull over on the way home one night and use a public bathhouse. when he could he would change his clothes, too. his sudden change in lifestyle made it significantly more tolerable to linger around him. no longer were you holding your breath until your lungs ached in your ribcage.

aki also took notice of your change in behaviour in response. it was easier to be around you when you weren't constantly whining about his smell.

he didn't think he was being so obvious in the way he was starting to enjoy your company day by day. you still gave him migraines like no other, and he couldn't stand your attitude. but he couldn't help but find your quirks a little charming, at least a bit funny if nothing else.

he wasn't aware that a very watchful (and perverted) pair of eyes was picking up on his signs.

it's a quiet morning with the fan blowing. you and power are still dead to the world and aki has just settled down to have his breakfast.

"so like, what's the deal with you two anyways?"

he glances up from his food with a tilt of the head.

"what are you talking–"

"cause i mean, i totally saw you checking out their ass yesterday." at denji's remark, aki almost chokes on his rice.

"what? i absolutely was not." he guffaws at the blond as if he's ludicrous.

"riiiight... so, you're not into each other then? what's with the looks?"

"what looks?"

denji makes it a point to be theatrical in his renditions of the previous night, sighing dreamily and fluttering his lashes.

"like that."

"... just eat your breakfast, man. you're imagining things."

"nah, but i'm not. c'mon, you don't like them even a little?"

"no."

"liar."

"denji..." aki strains the name out through grit teeth — a warning.

"what'cha guys talkin' about?"

god no. aki can't do this today. not right now. it's too early in the morning.

"we were just talking about how lovey-dovey aki's been lately."

"ohoho, so he finally admits it?" power sits across the table, suddenly interested in conversation.

"i didn't admit anything..." aki puts his chopsticks down with a frustrated sigh, "and what the hell do you mean finally?"

"he totally did admit it. and you should have seen the two of them yesterday—"

"dude, i'm going to kick you in the balls."

"let me have a turn!"

"will you two stop already? i'm getting a headache."

it's a horrible conversation, honestly. a terrible, horrific, unforgiving realization that they might be even a small fraction correct.

this whole household is the bane of his existence.

this thought sticks with him all day; they're going to be the death of me. why me, universe? why me? it doesn't stop until he finally settles into bed at the end of his long day and lets his eyes slide shut for some well-deserved sleep.

there's laughter echoing in his ears, nothing more than a dreamy hallucination as he drifts in and out of sleep. it's sweet and rare and beautiful — he wants to capture it in a bottle and get drunk off of it.

just as aki is about to fall asleep, there's a gentle knock at the door. he stirs awake again with a soft groan, sitting up in bed.

"come in."

in you walk, hands clasped in front of you as you stare at your feet. "i had a nightmare."

he scoffs, but he's climbing out of bed and trodding over to you anyways. "what are you, a child? what'd you come to me about that for?"

"jerk."

he considers you quietly, focusing on the bags under your eyes and the way you shift uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze.

"well what do you want me to do?"

you chew on your lip for a moment. "can i sleep in here?"

"with me?"

"with you."

aki looks at you like you've lost your mind. "no," he says immediately. you wouldn't get a very restful sleep if you were suffocating in the lingering smell of smoke.

he expects you to put up a fight like you always do when things don't go your way. he even braces himself for the onslaught of names you'll call him.

it never comes. instead:

"okay."

quiet and resigned and tired. and he hates that it makes his stomach drop, because next thing he knows his hand is shooting forward to capture your wrist as you retreat.

"god, quit looking so sad. you're the worst," he tells you as he drags you back into the room and unceremoniously tosses you onto his bed.

"dickwad," you bite back weakly. aki can only roll his eyes in response as he takes half his pillows and blankets to make a temporary bed on the floor for himself. you watch him curiously.

"you're not sleeping in the bed?"

"you wouldn't be able to sleep if you were that close to me."

"... right."

"goodnight," he huffs, settling onto the uncomfortably hard wooden floor. a hush settles over the room and he assumes you've either fallen asleep or are trying to, until you start shuffling around for a couple seconds. he can hear your mouth opening and closing, as if you’re deciding whether or not to say something.

"what is it now?" aki sighs, rolling onto his side to peek at you. you're already facing him, balled up into the blanket.

"can i hold your hand at least?"

he gawks at you for a second before recomposing himself. it's just hand holding, who cares? not him. not even a bit.

(liar.)

"fine," he mumbles, slowly reaching up to offer his hand. you take it tentatively, fingers gently curling around his. his brain almost explodes into malfunctioning, heart stopping in his chest.

you blink at each other, gazes steady and unwavering. then your eyes flutter closed as you pull the blanket up and over the bottom half of your face.

"hayakawa?"

"what?" he studies you, watching the way your expression changes ever so slightly.

soft, relaxed.

"thank you."

some part of aki knows he shouldn't be trying to memorize every part of you like this, but he does it anyways.

devil hunters don't get attached to others. they don't, and they can't. but aki can't help it. it was his worst habit — worse than smoking, actually.

he was always getting emotionally involved when it came to his partners. he couldn't go to sleep anymore thinking about the fact that you would have to go in the next day and face whatever horrible devil got assigned to you. there was a sickness that gurgled in his stomach when he pictured your ragged corpse, unmoving and lifeless at his feet.

it stresses him out beyond reason, even though you're in the next room over perfectly alive and breathing. and when aki is stressed, he reaches for a cigarette.

he thinks he's being quiet, and since you should be asleep he figures just one wouldn't hurt. so he sneaks out onto his balcony for a smoke, leaning over the edge of the railing so that he can observe the empty streets below.

for some reason, he hesitates for a moment as he brings it to his lips. he doesn't even get to light it before he's once again rudely interrupted.

"you're smoking."

it's as if you have a secret sense for when he's about to smoke. or maybe you can just smell them when he taps them out of the box. either way, it irks him.

aki sighs, hand slowly lowering and dangling over the railing. he doesn't even try to deny it as he glances over his shoulder at you. you're leaning against the door frame with your arms crossed. you don't seem as irritated as you usually do, instead regarding him steadily in slight defeat.

it makes his heart ache, so he flicks the unlit dart off the balcony and watches it disappear into the darkness of the street below.

"it's unhealthy, you know."

"i know."

"so why?"

"you think i chose to be this way?" in some ways he did, but he'd never tell you that.

silence befalls you as you join his side, resting your elbows on the railing. it's a calm night; a gentle breeze blows the hair from your face when you turn to look at him.

you wordlessly examine him, and he does the same. you’re more exhausted than usual, wilted like a flower starved for water. he knows it must be draining trying to keep up with someone in a special division — especially since you don't seem to be anything more than a bomb dog for makima, sniffing out where devils are hiding. he doesn't blame you for being so tired.

"hey," he frowns at you.

"what?"

"are you ever going to tell me your name?"

"no."

"seriously?"

"seriously."

he lets out a tiny groan of annoyance before he gets an idea. "if i quit smoking, would you tell me?"

you survey him cautiously. "i'd consider it."

aki runs a hand through his long hair in contemplation, looking out toward the complex across from his. "i don't get how people just quit on a whim. doesn't seem possible."

"they have stuff for that. like, chewing gum or nicotine patches or whatever." he huffs as you continue, "you just need to find something to take your mind off of it. something that satisfies your craving."

"yeah? way easier said than done. also, i don't know if i like being lectured by the likes of–"

"you'd be too irritating if you were addicted to anything else, anyways," you dismiss your own idea, completely ignoring the glare you're receiving from aki.

"you're annoying, you know that? worse than denji. worse than power, somehow." but he wants to take care of you anyways.

"am i?" you challenge defiantly, turning to face him completely.

"the worst. honest to god, i've considered quitting my job because of you." but he hasn't, has he?

"have you now?"

"what the hell was makima thinking, trying to get me to quit smoking by sending her tracker after me?" he should be thanking her, really.

you answer him honestly, voice quiet as you allow him to unconsciously enter your personal space in his rant of frustration. "i don't know."

he only realizes he's standing too close to you when your nose twitches slightly and your brows furrow — indicators that the faint but lingering smell of smoke on him is giving you a headache.

"sorry."

he starts to pull back with a defeated noise, but then your hands shoot forward and gently cling to his sweater. he looks at you inquisitively. you seem surprised by your own actions, too.

aki is forced to reconcile with the fact that he doesn’t want to take his eyes off of you. in his almost twenty-one years alive, he's never stood so close to someone before. it's taking a real toll on him.

a heavy fog of tension settles between you as you stand there, having a stare down both out of stubbornness and curiosity as to why the other hasn't pulled away yet.

"i don't know what's wrong with me... i don't think i want you to go inside yet. stop making me feel stupid," you complain, admitting your words shamelessly.

you watch as aki blinks at you before he shakes his head in exasperation.

"what am i going to do with you?"

there's a smile on his face as he says it, tiny and subtle. you would have missed it if he wasn't slowly inching closer and closer to you. and you let him despite the suffocating smell of smoke invading your senses again.

it occurs to him that the only things he has ever kissed are his wounds as he dresses them in bandages, himeno when she was wasted once, and the papery end of a cigarette.

you taste much sweeter than any of them.

maybe it was just easy for aki to fall into addictions. he was weak-willed in that sense. always has been.

and he always chose the absolute worst things in the world to get addicted to; revenge, smoking, and now you. he couldn't stand being in the same room as you anymore. not when he so desperately craved your lips on his.

it started as a casual thing; a small peck here, a sneaky kiss there, nothing jaw dropping. and you didn't seem to mind it all too much, allowing him to linger a little longer every time he leaned back in.

it was becoming a problem. a very serious one. he couldn't focus anymore. it was worse than smoking, so much so that everytime he wanted to reach for a box of cigarettes, he would end up coming to you instead.

there was something about you he wanted to preserve. a fondness grew in his heart, replacing the scream of annoyance that would fill his lungs and threaten to spill out every time he laid eyes on you.

you were something he wanted to keep. something to protect. someone to fill the silence when no one else would.

aki liked bickering with you. he found normalcy in it, as if he'd spent his whole life doing it. and sometimes it really did feel that way — as if he'd spent lifetimes before this one by your side.

it's why he clings to you so tightly when he almost loses you.

you're perched in his lap as he holds you, slowly running your fingers through his untied hair. the driver's seat of the car wasn't built for two people to sit; his legs are far too cramped to be comfortable and your knees are pressed harshly into his thighs.

he doesn't care. aki has never cared so much until he met you.

he's robbing you of air, clinging to you so tightly that you can barely move. he can hear you complaining against his lips, but he can't bring himself to stop.

"stop doing this to me," he hisses, knocking his forehead into yours so that he can stare into your soul. "it's ridiculous. i hate you. i hate you."

he kisses you again to bury the familiar lump growing in his throat.

"i told you to fucking stay put. why can't you just listen to me? you could have died. what would i have done then, huh?" you don't answer him, instead cupping his cheeks to try and calm him down.

"you're stupid and reckless and fuck — what would i do without you?" he closes his eyes when your nose brushes against his; a silent apology.

"i hate how much you mean to me, i hate your stupid laugh and your voice and how awful it makes me feel when you look sad. i hate that you keep all the worthless shit i buy you on the way home from work and i hate that you stand so close even after a smoke–" aki's jaw tenses to try and dam the outburst spilling out of him, but he can’t.

"–i hate that i love you. i hate it. i hate you. fuck! i love you–"

he's out of breath by the time he finishes getting his words out, his fingers digging into your hips almost painfully. you blink down at him as you brush the hair from his face.

he’s always so composed, even when he's being mean to you. it's rare to see him worked up like this. you can't help but smile.

"... don't just smile at me, idiot. say something," he pleads quietly, head falling against your shoulder as he keeps you in place.

he squeezes his eyes shut when your fingers thread carefully through his undone hair once again, raking the knots out smoothly. he melts in your touch until your hands leave his scalp and gather up his face again so you can look at him.

there's no tiny twitch of your nose. no furrowing of your brows. no stilling of your chest as you hold your breath. actually, he's never seen you so openly inviting.

"can i kiss you?" aki asks this time, voice hoarse.

you nod, and his whole world comes apart. he takes his time memorizing every curve of your lips against his, the taste of you, the little gasps of air you suck in as he seals his claim on you with his mouth.

"aki..." you murmur his given name against his lips, over and over and over. you whisper it between kisses that leave you breathless. and he swallows your voice, allowing himself to revel in the way his name sounds on your tongue.

he didn't smell of smoke anymore. he didn't taste like death and ash, either — he was just aki.

hayakawa aki, 20, professional devil hunter and resident cynic, who you're hopelessly in love with.

“aki?”

“yeah?”

"do you still want to learn my name?"

🏷️ @k0z3me @aanobrain (bye ily hope you enjoy this one art)

crossposted to ao3!

#— whispers in the wind ✧#im going into hibernation after this fic #goodnight world #i cant believe i actually finished it #chainsaw man #csm #chainsaw man fic #csm fic #hayakawa aki #aki hayakawa #aki hayakawa x you #aki hayakawa x y/n #aki hayakawa x reader #hayakawa aki x you #hayakawa aki x y/n #hayakawa aki x reader #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader

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dc418writes · 2 years

Text

What Big Eyes You Have

✨Pairing✨: lumberjack!Ari Levinsonxblack!Reader

Summary🪄: Your knight in shining armor might not be as noble as you thought

⚠️: MINORS DNI!!!!, Ari (always first and foremost), hunter/prey chase situation, mention of an injured body part, partial memory loss, mention of unprotected adult fun times (wrap it up guys and gals, get tested, and pee after sex ladies!), semi explicit smut (at least I don’t think it’s fully explicit), nudity, body worship (f), allusions to oral (f), biting, mention of blood (small amount), violence (man-man)

A/N🎙: Hey guys! Really quick just wanted to say how this is my first time trying my hand at something smut related/adjacent (then again maybe it’s just full smut?? Idk, can you tell I’m nervous!?! Lol), and I just hope it’s ok. If there’s any warning I missed please let me know, and as always I hope you enjoy☺️!

Disclaimer!: although collage was created by me, I DO NOT OWN NOR CLAIM OWNERSHIP of photos as they were all found on Pinterest

“You sure you alright out there?”

“Yes I’m fine,” you giggle. “I’m in a completely renovated and furnished cabin with internet and surprisingly good service-,”

“That’s in the woods with no one else,” Selene, your best friend, adds making you roll your eyes. She, along with your parents, tried getting you to change your mind about journeying up to those foreign woods inhabited by dangerous animals and who knows.

None of this made you falter though, still eager to get to the waiting rental home surrounded by trees and much needed quiet.

The daily cycle of work, home, then work again was weighing on you enough that you knew a break was needed. Especially before the quickly approaching holiday season filled with the unnecessary stresses of gift shopping and visiting family member after family member. And yes you easily could’ve opted for an ornate resort on a warm island with endless sun and salt in the air, but there was also something beautiful—and highly undervalued—about having a front row seat to experience fall, and all it’s adjoining accessories, in such a raw setting.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,” you state sliding your backpack on your shoulders as you head towards the door. “Call you when I get back, okay?”

“You better.”

Leaves and Earth crunching below your sneakers, you allow your mind to let go of any stresses currently plaguing your mind and aim your focus on what’s around you. Oaks and pines seemingly touching the heavens, while the sky begins its shift from serene blue to a mixture of pink and orange creating a golden hue to shine on everything in its wake. Birds soaring high as the squirrels bound from branch to branch either playing with another or in search of tonight’s dinner.

A small smile even spreads across your lips catching a small, beige rabbit planted in a patch of grass as it’s jaw twitched chewing on the dandelion partially hanging from its mouth.

“Aren’t you cute,” you whisper crouching down to find another dandelion beside you. “This your favorite? Hm?”

Keeping your hand as steady as possible, you slowly try to approach the woodland creature being as gentle as the breeze. It’s long ear flicks as it’s head turns. Little paws close to its white chest while it stands peering at you with beady eyes.

“It’s okay. Here, I’ll leave it. Don’t wanna make you nervous.”

Squat down with knees pressed against your chest, they cover your mouth helping you to contain your excitement watching your new bunny friend inch closer cautiously sniffing the ground. It’s nearly in range to bite down on the dandelion’s stem before the loud snap of a twig has it quickly hopping away and your head turning in every direction as you stand. Silence returns but only for a few seconds before there’s another snap along with the rustle of leaves.

Throat turning dry and heart thudding in your chest, your hands instinctively wrap tighter around the straps of your bag. “H-Hello?!,” you call out into the open air.

It’s quiet again. Eerily so as you take a slow step backwards in the direction you came from still actively searching all around for the culprit.

Maybe it was just a deer?

A deep growl tells you otherwise, giving your legs all the motivation they’d ever need to move.

The designated path is forgotten letting your feet carry you in whatever direction felt right, weaving around thick trunks and trying to evade the extra set of steps crunching close behind. You dare not look back, simply focused on getting away from whatever was breathing just as hard behind you, and hoping your stamina didn’t run out anytime soon.

Then you’re stuck.

Your ankle tightly bound by a rope trap cleverly hidden among the dirt and fallen leaves that yanks your leg so hard you fall back with a scream. Head thudding against the cool ground before your body is dragged and pulled upward along an oak until you’re helplessly dangling upside down. The ringing in your ears and pounding of your head make it hard to fight for escape, or fight the impending unconsciousness creeping in no matter how hard you tried to keep moving.

You can only whimper briefly meeting the golden eyes and sharp teeth bared as it snarls mere centimeters from your pained face. The warm air from its nostrils fanning your across your skin before all you see is darkness.

When you come to, you’re body is covered in a thick blanket as you lie on a foreign dark brown couch in an unknown living room. From what you could see, there was nothing lining the walls besides the dark wood planks that made up the home. No framed pictures, no decorations. Just a lone clock that ticked with every passing second.

It’s hard to sit up from the soreness in your back and slight dizziness in your head making you wince as you hold the cool rag to your head.

“Hey, take it slow,” a deep voice instructs startling you deeper into the couch’s back cushions.

Almond strands resting at his nape, his deep blue eyes were concerned as his muscular body neared closer to you. His large hands in front of him in surrender seeing you unsuccessfully try to scurry to the other side of the couch.

“I’m not gonna hurt you. My name’s Ari, I found you in the woods and brought you back here.”

You’re quiet as you study him. His burgundy flannel tight on his arms and opened to show the white tank underneath. His dark jeans over his equally thick thighs and cuffs resting over his work boots.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“…Y-Y/N.”

“That’s very pretty,” he smiles, and you could’ve sworn the room doubled its brightness.

“…w-what happened? And where is here?,” you shyly ask.

“Looks like you got caught in a hunter’s trap. Your ankle’s a bit scratched up and I’m guessing you knocked your head pretty good too. May I?”

Gently kneeling, he searches your nervous eyes for permission before reaching for your ankle to check under your bandage. His palms are rough from handiwork, but touch surprisingly careful and smooth like a feather caressing against one’s skin. You can’t seem to look away from his rugged face concentrated on dressing your wound, and his long lashes beautifully resting on the tops of his lightly freckled cheeks.

“And here, is my cabin. Where are you staying?”

“A cabin,” you answer, wincing as he carefully placed your ankle down. “Can’t remember the number though.”

“Are you up here with someone?”

“No, i-it’s just me.”

Ari lightly nods meeting your eyes again before standing to retrieve a backpack from the far corner of the room, “You had this on when I found you. Maybe there’s something inside that might help.”

Unzipping the front pocket, you find a set of keys and your cellphone displaying unread messages and a couple missed calls from your parents.

Hey it’s been over an hour, everything good? (sent 7:53 pm)

Y/N? Cmon this isn’t funny (sent 9:10 pm)

Ok, for my sanity I’m assuming you ate then went to bed and forgot to text me you got in…again😒 (sent 9:27 pm)

If I don’t hear anything by tomorrow afternoon, I’m calling the cops I swear to God (sent 9:28 pm)

Looking at the time, it’s a little after 10 the next day.

“Okay?,” he asks setting a bottle of water down on the table beside you.

Nodding, you turn your phone to show him the address sent in one of your earlier messages. “This is where I’m staying. Cabin 535.”

“You’re just a ways up the road then,” he softly smiles. “We can leave in a few minutes.”

“Don’t ever scare me like that again!,” Selene speaks through the phone. As soon as you entered the foyer, with the help of Ari’s thick arm around your waist, your phone vibrated with an incoming call showing the picture of you and your best friend laughing side by side.

You’re honestly surprised you weren’t already met with at least one squad car knowing how worried sick she was.

“I was minutes away from calling the cops and driving up there myself.”

“I’m sorry. I meant to call but then I hit my head-,”

“Wait, hit your head? What happened? You okay?”

“Yea I’m fine. Apparently there was a hunter’s trap-,”

“Apparently? You don’t remember?”

There’s a few seconds of silence as you bite the nail on your thumb looking down at your lap before a soft “no” slips past your lips.

“Okay, probable concussion. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“Just sore on my back. My ankle’s scraped up a little. I promise I’m okay though! Ari found me and brought me back to his cabin-,”

“Ari? Who’s that?”

“He’s a guy that lives a few minutes away,” you answer turning to gaze at the man standing on your backporch leaning against the wooden post. His back facing you as smoke wisps from his lips to the cool air following the latest drag from his cigarette.

“And this guy just miraculously found you?,” she asks with a twinge of skepticism.

“Well yea, he said he was on a walk and I was just hanging there unconscious. He seems really nice.”

“So did Ted Bundy and Jeffery Dahmer,” she replies under her breath. “Listen, stay in your cabin alright? I’m gonna try to get up there to bring you back home.”

“Selene-,”

“Nothing you say will stop me from coming Y/N. You’re hurt with amnesia, you don’t need to be alone.”

You knew her words were true. And with her mind set, there’s nothing more you can do except sit there in silence until she was done.

“And don’t let him back in. Hear me?” It’s ironic how at that same moment, his large figure steps through the sliding glass door returning to your kitchen. He lifts the corners of his mouth in a soft smile causing your own to follow shortly after.

Ari had taken care of you, bandaged your wounds, and made sure you were comfortable since finding you. How could someone so sweet possibly be bad?

“You say it like he’s bad,” you mumble loud enough for only her to hear.

“Because he might be! For all we know, he’s the one who set that trap.” Again, then why treat you so nice? “I’ll call you later okay? Be careful and stay inside.”

Setting your phone down, your fingers meet your temples trying to rub away the little ache forming as you quietly grimace. How long was this supposed to last? It was gonna be a bit difficult trying to do for yourself when you could hardly keep your eyes open for too long.

“You should rest,” Ari says handing you a bottle of ibuprofen, which you graciously took. “Someone coming for you?”

“My friend said she would try.”

“Well, I’ll tell you now, if she’s not here by the weekend she’s not makin’ it,” he states stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. “Storm’s headed this way, which means the roads are gonna be flooded or closed.”

“Oh..”

He barely knew you, but watching the worry set in your body as your arms wrapped around your middle brought this protectiveness out of him wanting to take away your fears any way he could.

“You’ll be fine,” he speaks trying to ease your mind—and that little voice in his own concerned about you being alone in your condition.

“Stay inside, and if things start looking bad the day of, get to your bathroom and lie down in the tub.” Nodding your head, he can still see how uneasy you are from the way you chew on your plump bottom lip.

He has to mentally check himself that he doesn’t stare too long at such a simple yet distracting habit that had him shamefully curious if it tasted as good as you made it seem.

It came to pass that Selene wasn’t able to make it to you in time due to work and the incoming weather, as Ari said. So the days that followed, you heeded their instruction on staying in. You’d wake up, eat breakfast, then watch tv until Ari would knock at the door announcing his presence. He’d always hand you a bit of extra food from what he’d made the night before—making sure you had something to eat for the day—stored in a medium sized Tupperware before going to the bed of his truck to unload more firewood for you. You were pretty sure you had enough since you didn’t use the fireplace every day, but you were still thankful for his generosity.

Admittedly, you didn’t believe him when he first told you he was a lumberjack, never having met one in real life. You’d only ever heard of them in fairytales and the occasional ad for the newest pick-up truck with all wheel drive and other irresistible features every man just had to have.

He deeply chuckled when you told him that, flashing his pearly whites as the corners of his eyes wrinkled in the cutest way.

“Well, I’m your proof we’re definitely real sweetheart.”

It was the first time he’d used the term with you, and the way it sparked tingles through your body and warmed your cheeks had you addicted already.

He’d stay for a while talking with you and making sure you were okay before leaving close to nightfall with the promise of returning the next day if he could. It was like clockwork how he’d gather his things and put on his coat just as golden hour had dimmed from its brightest hue. Then you were back to the silence of the two story cabin with all its creaks and echoes of the whistling wind.

Something that was once craved now unwanted wishing for the extended company of your rescuer.

“What’s this?” Following you inside, he notices the table set for two with dark green bowls neatly sat on chocolate brown placemats. A spoon besides each along with a folded napkin and glass, while steam twirled from the bubbling pot partially covered on the stove.

“Well you always bring me food, so I thought I’d return the favor,” you smile shyly motioning to everything you set up. “And it’s my thank you for everything you’ve done.”

By the weekend you were much better. Your ankle now able to move without any sense of pain and only lightly bruised along with your back. Your headaches—although still plaguing—not as frequent, allowing you more hours in the day that you could comfortably be up and out of bed.

Ari was happy to see you walking about with the help of his healing hands. Plus that twinkle in your eye as you proudly showed him the fading marks had him smiling brighter than he had in a while. Deep down there was an ache in his heart though knowing soon you’d have to leave; possibly never returning.

The first person he’d actually connected with gone seemingly just as soon as you came. Lips curling into a small smile as you place the full bowl in front of him, he ultimately knew that’s how it had to be. Why it had worked all these years and continued to do so.

It was safer.

“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”

The tomato base of the vegetable stew was the first to find home in his nostrils making him pleasantly hum. It’s added spice of pepper, and maybe cayenne, wasn’t overpowering as it tingled his tongue and caused his mouth to water. Vegetables fresh as if you’d picked them this morning, it was the best dish he’d tasted in years.

“It was no trouble, I just hope it’s fit to eat,” you nervously giggle sitting beside him with your own filled bowl.

Fit to eat? If he was by himself, he’d shame the wildest of dogs from how quick his face would sink into the bowl loudly chewing and slurping; surely spilling juice everywhere that he’d happily lick up later.

“It’s perfect.” Just like you. “Thank you.”

Throughout the day, more and more bulletins flashed across the television screen and your phone regarding the incoming storm. Warnings of definite wind damage and flooding along with lightning as they urged those to be effected to stay safe and make sure they had their needed supplies. The wind already picking up and moving the trees with more force as sprinkles of rain tapped against the window and roof.

By sunset, roads were closed and those nearby were encouraged to head inside, if they hadn’t already, and not leave unless in the event of an emergency. You watched, with disheartened eyes, Ari sigh as he stood knowing what would come next. The words that would slip from his pink lips you didn’t want to hear, especially not tonight.

“I uh better get goin’. Before it gets too bad,” he states walking towards the door with you on his heels.

“Y-Yea, okay.”

Your quieter tone catches him first before he turns to find you downcast with arms securely wrapped around you.

“What’s wrong? Is it your head?”

“No no it’s fine. I just..” The back and forth in your head was tiring debating on whether it was best to say something or leave it be.

“Just what sweetheart?” God, the power of his drawl.

“I…I don’t wanna be alone tonight,” you whisper. He sighs once more scratching his smooth beard. He shouldn’t stay. He can’t stay. No matter how much his heart willed him to take off his boots and join you on the couch or wherever you wanted to be.

“..I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he whispers back. Your gaze falls to the floor making him so badly want to lift your chin and bring you closer. Instead, he stands there watching you awkwardly shift from one foot to the other as his rejection sinks in.

“Oh…I understand.” You didn’t. And it made him all the more frustrated he couldn’t explain. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-,”

“You didn’t. Promise.” His hand itches to reach out to you—even slightly twitching at his side—but he figures it’s best to keep to himself.

The silence is nearly deafening as you both stand there not really sure of what to say or do next. It’s not until the distant rumble of thunder that you get the push you needed. Shoving the embarrassment of potentially looking pushy deep down while moving towards the kitchen to retrieve the Tupperware bowl filled with leftover stew.

“In case you get hungry.” Your small smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes as you hold out the warm container towards him.

At first he doesn’t move, just continuing to peer at you with those gentle yet piercing cerulean gaze and making your heart begin to sink until his palm hesitantly hovers over the side of your neck. Your own lack of movement or protest tells him it’s okay to make contact with your skin as his thumb grazes just under your bottom lip. Then he steps closer. Leaning in until his nose gently brushed against yours to finally meet your lips.

It was like he was testing the waters from how his lips slowly glided along yours; taking his time to truly savor your taste and the feel of your mouth on his. Your arms around his neck invite him closer pressing his brawny body against yours. His hands cautiously wander until they can grip your bottom making you softly gasp and lips part enough that his waiting tongue can explore as well.

His hands pull your legs to wrap around his hips carrying you to the couch after the bowl is long forgotten on the counter. Your lips left swollen as he moves to your neck sucking and nibbling the heated flesh there as you try to catch your breath. Sat straddling his lap, you easily feel his bulge crying to break free against your throbbing center causing your hips to gently buck and grind needing more.

From his muffled groan and hands gripping your hips tighter, so did he.

A quiet whine emanates from your throat when Ari pulls away with swollen, red lips himself. His eyes shades darker from his blown pupils as he’s quick to remove his red flannel and then his white tee to expose his sculpted chest and arms etched with hidden tattoos.

You can’t seem to look away from the large laceration on his left pec though, spanning from his collarbone to the tip of his sternum. Now a mix of pink and red with scar tissue, your finger slowly slides over the slightly raised skin before looking up with curious eyes.

He shyly grins massaging your thigh with one hand as the other caresses your cheek. “Bar fight much younger and dumber me just couldn’t walk away from. Didn’t realize he had a knife until I was down on the ground with a sliced and bloodied shirt.”

It was possibly a dumb question, but you had to ask, “Does it still hurt?”

“I’m fine sweetheart,” he smiles. Thumb gliding along your lips again before you lean down to peck along the curved marking as far as you could reach. Ari’s soft hum as he rubs your back, and your lips creep along his skin, is as soothing as the ocean’s waves having you wanting to stay in this little bubble of intimacy with him for as many days to come.

Your top is next to go, then your jeans with the help of his pretty fingers you couldn’t wait to have on you again. He takes his time tracing from the dip at the bottom of your throat down your sternum and across the top lace of your bra, leaving shivers down your spine, until his fingertips tease the band of your panties noticeably soaked at this rate.

“Is this okay?,” he asks pausing to look in your eyes. Head tilted down slightly to make sure he didn’t miss any cues. You gently nod your head as you unhook your bra, letting Ari slide the straps down until you’re completely exposed.

He must be a mind reader how quick he whispers, “You’re so beautiful. You know that right?,” as if sensing how being under his intense gaze in such a vulnerable position made part of you want to shrink away. Long harbored insecurities beginning to creep along the dark corners of your mind even though you eagerly wanted the man below you.

He doesn’t take kindly to your silence this time meeting your lips a tad rougher than before as he stands from the couch to carry you towards the bedroom. It’s as if he was trying to transfer all the adoration he had onto you to erase the words of whatever idiot made you unsure of yourself.

To stop you from ever questioning yourself again.

As soon as your back hits the colorful quilt, his mouth is journeying along the map of your body taking detours here and there as he enjoys each and every stop until he’s satisfied and sure he reached each spot of its surface. Being so close to your center, your scent overpowers his senses snapping something in his brain that has him easily ripping your cotton underwear and the prettiest moan he’s ever heard slipping past your lips as your fingers tangle in his hair.

His skilled tongue and thick fingers have you embarrassingly close already unable to do anything but moan and whimper as your back begins to arch. The added vibrations of his grunts and own moans against your sensitive bundle pushing you closer and closer until he’s drinking down everything your body has to give while you pant, trying to catch your breath as you scratch his scalp.

Ari’s not done though, sinking back in needing more of you on his skin, his beard, practically flooding his nostrils with your essence so he’d never go without.

“Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he mumbles against your thigh as his fingers pick up their pace until you’re back where you started.

The way he was able to manipulate and shift your body to different positions, he could’ve easily sought out only his pleasure not caring if you were satisfied. But this was the same man who brought you back to his cabin to care for your wounds. Made sure you were safe and closely monitored your progress coming to check on you everyday. You’re not surprised how he listens to your body creating a personal relationship with it just as he did you.

He took in every clench and shudder. Every clutch of your hand around his bicep and fiery scratch left by your nails. Even every curl of your toes leading to the cutest “o” of your full lips to have you a babbling mess and body wrung to exhaustion. Strings of “please”, “don’t stop”, and “right there” the only words dripping from your lips followed by chants of his name.

And how could he not comply when you asked so nicely, and with twinkling tears of ecstasy flowing from your eyes? His numerous praises only adding to that pleasure referring to you as “perfect” and, your favorite, “his pretty girl”.

You can tell he’s close when his relentless pace stutters. His mouth on your shoulder to muffle the curses and animal like growl that overtakes his body as he holds your sweaty back close to his front. A sharp prick breaking your skin makes you cry out in pain before it’s quickly soothed by his warm tongue. His release—strangely lasting longer and thicker than you’ve ever experienced—steadily warming and filling you until you’re tensing again for the third, or fourth, time tonight before you’re body feels as if it would float away if not for Ari holding you to him.

You feel his wet lips on you again showing just as much attention to your back, shoulders, and further south that he did to your front before the bed gently dips and his footsteps pad towards the bathroom. The last thing you remember being his gentle hands cleaning you with a wet rag as your hazy mind fought to squirm away.

“I know, I’m sorry. Promise I’m almost done,” he whispers before his lips sweetly find yours again. Then you’re pulled into his warm chest as his muscular arm drapes over you like a weighted blanket further bringing you closer to the sleep you needed.

Your incessant shivering is what ruins your once peaceful rest, making you rise prematurely. It’s definitely too early for your liking still seeing the moon occasionally peek through in the onyx sky. Heavy rain continued to fall as gusts of wind knocked against the newly placed French doors making them shake ever so slightly.

Reaching behind you, you don’t feel the body once there causing you to sit up clutching the thin sheet to your bare chest pebbled and covered in goosebumps. It feels as if it’s getting colder by the second leading you to believe the storm must’ve knocked out the power. Maybe that’s where he went?

Scooting closer to the side of the bed, you crane your neck trying to listen for any sign of movement but everything in the house is still.

“Ari!?,” your strained voice calls, but you get no response. Just a flash of lightning and rumble of thunder that’s gotten closer since earlier this evening. You gingerly slide out of bed—still sore from your earlier rounds—to get a pair of your sweats and a sweatshirt to cover yourself before moving towards the living room.

There you find the same; more silence as you carefully maneuvered about the dark space confused and concerned. A particularly intense draft catches your attention turning your head towards the flowing sheer curtain and cracked door leading to the porch now partially slick with water as it continued to be battered. “Ari?,” you called again from its sheltered portion now armed with a flashlight that shined outward to the trees swaying and shimmying in the rough weather.

Maybe Selene was right all along about Ari. That he couldn’t be trusted, and you should’ve just kept the door locked forbidding him passage into your residence let alone your heart. And maybe you weren’t the first helpless stranger he’s offered his assistance to? Instead now a number on a list spanning however long as he charmed his way to his next victim.

“No..h-he wouldn’t,” you whisper to yourself feeling a crack begin to extend along the surface of your heart.

Your pity party is cut short hearing the crack of a tree limb before it eventually fell to the damp ground with a thud. Another snap and you’re scanning the small yard hoping it’s just the storm causing these sounds and nothing more.

Then your blood is running cold and air hitching in your throat seeing a set of glowing red eyes staring directly at you. They only seem to follow as you slowly try to retreat back inside—hand tightly gripping the door’s handle—until you see what looks like the menacing smirk of the creature in question. It’s ash grey fur weighed down by the rain and paws firm against the ground as it creeped closer towards the light with teeth gleaming and some form of liquid dripping from its curled lips. You’re not sure if it was rain water, saliva, or maybe a mix of both.

You try to will yourself to run inside and lock the door behind you but with the wolf-like being’s height reaching up to your waist and both legs and arms protruding large masses of muscle as it stepped closer, you were sure it could probably tear down any door or wall in its way.

You crouch down accepting your fate just as the nails of its paw are about to tap against the wooden deck when a fast blur shoves it into the dirt. It snaps and growls inches from the other’s face before they’re wrestling on hind legs. Swiping and biting as they seemingly compete with the thunder on who could be loudest.

Finally your legs are able to move, helping you quickly crawl into the cabin on the safer side of the door. Back pressed against the side of the island, your chest heaves as you struggle to calm your breathing. Could you even call for help? The roads were blocked and or flooded with all the rain, so no one could come up even if they tried. Then again, would they even believe you? They’d probably laugh in your face or tell you to stop wasting their time before angrily disconnecting.

Although frightened, you can’t look away from the two beasts rolling around and surely drawing blood from the other as they compete for dominance. Eventually, you see this new creature—larger than the other in both height and muscle—standing over its competitor’s weakened form before it’s snarling a last bite into it’s arm making it yelp into the surrounding forest with an echo. It rises shortly after growling lowly and slowly sauntering back in the woods where it came from.

Whether it wanted to or not, it had no choice but to surrender.

The victor keeps its eyes trained on the path making sure the other doesn’t try to come back. It’s body still tense and ears pointed ready for another bout if needed. Then it’s turning towards the cabin with eyes on you.

Those same golden eyes bringing you back to your hike all those days ago, finally able to remember everything. Your chase through the woods. The rope against your leg before you were upside down practically bait for the animal now outside or any other that passed by.

It’s features are softer now—dare you say apologetic or sorrowful even—taking one hesitant step forward then retreating back two. A small puff of smoke cast from its nostrils as the warm air meets the cool night. It’s head nods upwards a couple times making your own tilt in confusion.

Was it…telling you to go?

Turning it’s head with a twitch of it’s ear, a sinking feeling forms in the pit of your stomach noticing the all too familiar scar on it’s chest. Though surrounded by more hair, it was unmistakable with its placement and nearly crescent shape.

“Nonono that’s crazy,” you think to yourself slowly scooting towards the door placing your hands on the cool glass in front of you.

It made sense though the more you thought.

How Ari knew where to find you even though you were well off course from the designated trail in the middle of nowhere, and possibly why he’d been so nice and caring these past few days.

Turning back towards you, it’s as if he knows what you’re thinking seeing the conflict in your deep brown eyes and across your brows as he steadily steps forward until he’s on the deck leaving paw prints in his wake. His nose tapping the glass where your hand sat, smearing it with the water from its surface.

“Ari..”

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