livisart

[livisart]

weed bunt

#netzach #420 #drugs #my art #dont think im gonna bother putting this one in main fandom tags

[livisart]

literally all i can imagine seeing ryoshu's new ID:

#limbus company #heathcliff limbus company #ryoshu limbus company #nelly limbus company #canto vi spoilers #canto 6 spoilers #my art #WHO decided to trust ryoshu with an infant is my question #like i wouldnt trust most of the sinners with a baby but ryoshu has to be one of the worst picks #she'd teach the baby to play with knives. maybe that's why erlking heathcliff is so strong because ryoshu trained him in the art of combat #also this is a silly shitpost but ngl i got kinda emotional drawing nelly taking care of heathcliff.... i rly love nelly.

[livisart]

bnuuy that kicks your ass

bday gift for @bleedstatus

#dnd #dnd oc #others ocs #bunny #harengon #my art

[livisart]

the bride and her ugly ass groom

#i HATE that this is my first art post in like 6 months AND my first limbus post #limbus company #rodigor #rodigreg #i used their id card outfits because i felt it was fitting #my art #in other news i Finally feel like i might b able to post art again. like. mentally #so. possibly look forward to that. maybe

[livisart]

Can I ask what happened with Datakits, I'm in the species and I'm concerned.

this ask is like half a year old at this point so idk if ur still interested. but basically:

(tw suicide)

my ex (who is a datakits moderator) conducted a smear campaign against me. this included completely made up and ridiculous stalking accusations (which were based on me doing things like "talking about a video game with someone" and "following someone on artfight") accusations of "harassment" (because i "vagueposted" by referencing my trauma in the tags of ONE tumblr post. why my ex has such in depth knowledge of everything i post on tumblr when he claimed to want nothing to do with me, i dont know. lmao) etc. he even went so far as to take my attempts at recovery and improving myself after a traumatic event and twist that to be me trying to get back on his good side or whatever. he also outright told ppl to just block me and not talk to me, i'm guessing because his narrative required no one getting my side of things.

some of the people he spread this to were the datakit owners, because me being "too active" in that server was apparently malicious according to him (the actual reason i was very active in the datakits server was because datakits were and still are a special interest of mine and a HUGE comfort to me, and this was abt 2 weeks after i attempted suicide, hence me trying to cope using things i take comfort in???? also i was not given a warning abt being too active, if i was being too active and causing discomfort i should have just been told so)

the datakit owners took his inane bs as 100% fact, did not talk to me abt it, banned and blocked me, and sent my ex to tell me about it. which is horrible species management, but i digress.

once again, this all took place abt 2 weeks after i tried to jump in front of a god damn train. and my ex springing all this on me and spreading shit abt me made me suicidal again. which my ex used to spread that i was "using suicide to guilt him", which is a fucking vile thing to say abt someone who literally just attempted suicide.

i eventually got one of the owners to talk to me and explained the situation.

here's the kicker. even though the owners are now aware of, and fully believe and acknowledge that the shit spread abt me was false, i remain banned, because apparently the shit my ex spread abt me made one of the owners too ~uncomfortable~ with me due to ~associations~/banning me is "irreversible" for some unexplained reason. meanwhile my ex remains a mod and did not face any disciplinary action because "hE gEnUiNelY tHouGht yOu wErE sTaLkiNg hIm" and "he has paranoia and experiences delusions so you being mad at him is ableist actually uwu" (i'm BARELY paraphrasing here)

as someone who ALSO has paranoia and experiences delusions, i honestly find the notion of "mentally ill ppl cant help but spread lies abt ppl uwu" really insulting. but whatever. especially since his actions ACTUALLY ALMOST CAUSED SOMEONE'S DEATH because his little smear campaign caused me enough distress that i attempted suicide again :))))

the owner did keep in contact with me while i was in the psych ward, which was nice i guess except our conversations almost entirely consisted of him defending his and the other owners actions because "ummm in our defense the allegations were ~serious~" and insisting that i shouldnt hold any of this against him or the other owner.

ive been very afraid to talk abt this because my ex also made a point to tell me that he "could do a lot worse to ruin my life if he wanted to", and i believe him. but honestly i dont fucking care anymore

#ask box #anonymous #closed species

[livisart]

this piece of poetry is meant to do harm

#azazel #vent art #body horror #gore #this is azazel. also known as gospel. hes a secondary sona i made #hes a fallen angel and a manifestation of a lot of things including religious trauma #my art #the lyrics are NOT aimed at or abt any specific thing i just like the song n it fits him.

[livisart]

Hey man, I just wanted to drop in and say some words. I wasn't sure whether or not to write this anonymously or not but I hope my words can still be of help, if only a little.

I know you're struggling, and I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. You're only human, life is tough, your emotions and feelings are completely valid. I myself struggle with anxiety, paranoia and fear of judgement. I'm terrified of people, terrified of eyes on me and being known and, I don't mean to sound corny here, but living is still far better than being dead. Death is our only promise in life, why rush to it? I may not know exactly what's been happening but I do believe that no one is irredeemable, as long as they try to be a better person than they were before. Life isn't a redemption arc, and the fact that random people are blocking you based on something they don’t even know the full context of is just wrong when you're obviously trying to move on from a you that no longer exists. Everyone makes mistakes, and as much as the internet loves to disagree, no one is 100% morally flawless. I've done shitty things, but I'm constantly trying to improve and have fun in life, because it's all we got. rn I'm only a 20 y/o swede whose only friend lives like 2 hours away, but as long as you have family, friends and can find your joy and reason in life, things are gonna be alright. Life is all about yourself, not anyone else. I'm very sorry if this was too imposing or if I'm overstepping, but I sincerely hope things will get better. Self improvement is never out of reach for anyone. Have a glass of water, let yourself rest, allow yourself kindness and take as much time as you need to heal.

thank you anon

#i dont have many words but. thank you. like genuinely its very kind n it means a lot #im not exactly enjoying life rn i mostly just feel hollow and empty #but im still technically alive i guess. #i am trying realy hard but. #its hard to move on and better myself when ur constantly being kicked while ur already down #anonymous #ask box #i think i will have a glass of water

[livisart]

Hey, I might not talk to you a ton, but I hope things will be better for you soon. I know that you're going through a tough time right now and I can't imagine what you're feeling. I hope that one day, you'll be able to be happy again, that you'll look back at this time in your life and be glad that you lived. Please take as much time as you need.

thank you anon, for your kind words.

it's hard. i want to grow and i want to move on and be better. but even when i try to grow and improve as a person it gets twisted into me doing it to get something from someone because me trying to be better is suspicious somehow, because i'm already Bad and Bad people can't try to change.

i can't even follow a random person whose art i like anymore without it being twisted into "trying to get friendly with them and using them to get close to someone else"

i can't even show interest in a game without somehow having ulterior motives, apparently.

i want to be happy again someday, but when i try that happiness is ripped away from me too. it's exhausting. i want to grow but everyone just keeps kicking me back down again.

i want to be okay, but i'm not allowed to try to be.

#ask box #anonymous #i keep being told to leave people alone #but they do not leave me alone in return. they want nothiing to do with me. unless it involves checking my social medias #to make sure im not speaking out of turn #i keep being blocked by random people ive been friendly with in the past and who have had nothing to do with ANY of all of this #because theyve Heard things about me and dont care to run it by me first

[livisart]

alive, but barely. sorry if u saw that post.

#its hard to try to grow when you keep being punched down again.

[livisart]

first batch of artfight attacks! for @mauriceoverpye , @demonerium , oracle_milkman and mythicalwaters !!

#artfight #datakits #ferret #wolverine #skunk #closed species #webcore #catgirl #others ocs #gift art #artfight 2023 #team vampires #scenecore #bright colors #eye strain

[livisart]

You know what? Yeah. Ill post my art on tumblr, why not.

Artfight piece I did for @gaymerrin - "You Are Loved"

#for me #you will look at this #i love my friendssssssssssssssssss

[livisart]

Doing art fight this year finally!! Art Fight - mauriceopye's Profile

#i think u should attack my bro<3

[livisart]

yippee https://artfight.net/~M3RDR

#artfight #body horror #i still have soo many things to update and shit. but the sites been down for me pretty much all day i love artfight #uhh as a warning im dealing with a lot of. stuff. rn so i cant 100% promise ill revenge everyone. but i do like to when i can

[livisart]

Hi my name is Ripper Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long red emo bangs with black streaks and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Little Red Riding Hooded Mercenary from Lobotomy Corporation (AN: if u don't know who they r get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Meat-kun but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a mignyan and I have red meat ears and tail with yellow and red eyes and bloody teeth and meat on my face with teeth that look like a mouth. I have red white and black fur. I'm also a hitman and I love ripping people to death (that's how I got my name). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing my favorite red cloak over a black skull t-shirt with black and white striped sleeves under and black ripped shorts with lots of pockets for my weapons, bloody bandages on my arms and legs and a black spiked collar. I was wearing black eyeliner and my claws were painted black. I was walking outside. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of non-migs stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

#mignyan #my art #my ocs #emocore #scenecore #cuz thats the art style i was emulating :3 #body horror #knives #i actually drew this a while ago but i never posted it so #emo art

[livisart]

things i drew in the psych ward.

#furryart #mignyan #body horror #my art #the furries in the first one are some of my friends who stood by me n supported me #the house and the snake were requests for a fellow patient who was very sweet and cried over it and asked to keep the paper

[livisart]

i am alive.

i haven’t been able to access my art account while i was in a psych ward. best i could do at the time was reply to the post from my main which i could access.

im sorry for worrying ppl. idk if im ok yet but im receiving help so. yeah.

#ty to ppl who have reached out and im sorry i couldnt get to this sooner

[livisart]

goodbye

this is a scheduled post. if you read this i’m probably gone. i’m sorry. i wasn’t strong enough.

to everyone who has supported my art, thank you so much. i’m still blown away by the reception of birthday kid. i can’t believe the amount of fanart and kind words.

every reblog of my art, every tag, every kind ask, i’ve always read and appreciated them all more than you can imagine.

thank you for your support through the years.

Mer