#This took a lot of energy to write so if you found this post useful please consider reblogging

[llyfrenfys]

I'd like to preface this with that this is a screenshot of a post I saw a few days ago in the #welsh tag and that the OP has since deleted this post, but the sentiment is something I'd like to address since I see a lot of parallels with this kind of thinking in other contexts, such as in LGBTQIA+ rights conversations.

So, the most obvious elephant in the room is the idea that Welsh is super widely spoken in Wales now and that it isn't in as much danger as other Celtic languages. This idea is wishful thinking at best and erases the very real danger that Welsh is in and that it could be lost just as easily as Irish or Scottish Gaelic. Cornish (which is related to Welsh) actually did die out and has had to be revived. To make a metaphor out of this, we classify languages on a scale of non-threatened to endangered in a similar way to how we classify species.

Here are the statuses of Welsh and Irish as of 2010 (above) and the statuses of Lions and Tigers (below).

On paper tigers are more 'in danger' than lions. But that does not mean that lions are suddenly not in danger at all. The little bracket above CR, EN and VU labels all of these classifications as threatened. It isn't (and definitely shouldn't) be a competition of 'who is most in danger' because you do not want the thing you care about (whether it be a species or a language) to be in danger.

To come back to the original screenshot "they* [Welsh speakers] have always had the means and the ways because the English didn't beat or slaughter them for speaking it"- on the most basic of levels, this is just incorrect. The Welsh Not was a wooden token hung around schoolchildren's necks if they spoke Welsh in school. If someone else spoke Welsh the Not would be hung around their neck. At the end of the school day, whoever was wearing the Not would be beaten and caned by their teachers. I needn't go into much detail but there have been concerted efforts to beat Welsh out of schoolchildren. With the lions vs tigers metaphor, making the claim Welsh speakers have never been beaten for speaking Welsh because they always had the means and ways, while Irish speakers were beaten and never had the means or ways is like claiming poachers have never shot lions, only tigers. Bottom line is, lions and tigers are both victim to poaching and both species have suffered as a result. Similarly, Welsh and Irish have both suffered language loss and both need conservation efforts in order to survive.

(*sidenote- the consistent use of 'them' and 'they' in the original post is definitely indicative of a 'us vs them' sentiment which is a deeply unhelpful attitude to have when it comes to endangered languages and the Celtic languages in particular)

I see parallels with LGBTQIA+ rights in this situation. When equal marriage came in for gay and lesbian couples in the UK in 2014, many allies began to act like gay rights had now been achieved and that gay issues had been done, they're solved. Except, they really weren't (and aren't). Progress has been made in Wales and undeniably Welsh is doing the best out of the living Celtic languages. But that doesn't mean Welsh has been saved or that full equality for Welsh speakers has been achieved. It very much hasn't. The sentiment of the post in the screenshot is not conducive to helping Irish or Scottish Gaelic. Putting down Welsh speakers and erasing Welsh-language history will not save Irish or Scottish Gaelic. Pretending Welsh has had it easy in some kind of lap of luxury is a deeply harmful and bogus claim.

I'll address the tags under the cut as this post is getting long.

To address the tags, personal feelings ≠ an accurate reading of a situation. Nor is it praxis, for that matter. Why is pride in Welsh different/less good than pride in Irish? Is it the assumed proximity to England? If so, that's a terrible claim to make. Not only that, but Scotland is also next to England- does that make pride in Scottish Gaelic the same as pride in Welsh according to this metric? It's a ludicrous thing to say and deeply insensitive to the needs of Scottish Gaelic and Welsh speakers, who cannot help any current or former proximity to England.

Additionally, proximity to England ≠ worse. I know it's a popular internet joke to hate on England because of English attempts to eradicate the Celtic languages, but when the joke becomes praxis, it does not help. England ≠ a place devoid of Celtic languages either. Many English counties near the Welsh border actually have communities of Welsh speakers, such as Oswestry (Croesoswallt) in Shropshire. Cornwall is also home to many speakers of revived Cornish. It does a disservice to Celtic speakers in England to insinuate that proximity to England taints or corrupts them somehow. This is how ethnonationalism starts and we ain't about that.

And "#it feels a little.... blehhhhh you were seen as sophisticated and english enough and you assimilated however the Irish and the Scots? #brutish animals that need to be culled". So, this is arguably one of the worst things to say about a Celtic language- or any threatened language in general. First of all, the 'you were seen as' - 'you' is very telling. The switch from 'them', 'they' to 'you' indicates that this sentiment is aimed at Welsh speakers directly. This was likely a subconscious thing that OP wasn't thinking about when they wrote this. But it does indicate unhealthy feelings of jealousy and bitterness unfairly directed at Welsh speakers, who are also struggling. This righteous anger at the decline of Irish and Scottish Gaelic would be better directed at efforts to help promote those languages- some useful things to get involved with are LearnGaelic, similar to DysguCymraeg but for Scottish Gaelic or supporting channels such as Irish channel TG4 by watching their programmes.

The idea that Welsh speakers were or are 'sophisticated and english enough' is insulting and carries with it a lot of baggage of how any of these assumptions came about. Welsh speakers were definitely not seen as sophisticated. Where Welsh was 'tolerated', it was treated as a curiosity, a relic of a bygone age. Classic museification which all Celtic languages and cultures suffer from as well. Welsh was not tolerated in any legal sense since 1535- with English becoming the only valid administrative language and the language of Welsh courts after England annexed Wales into its Kingdom. Monolingual Welsh speakers suddenly had no access to any legal representation, unless they learned English. This is no voluntary assimilation- it is an act of survival for many speakers of minoritised languages to 'assimilate' into the dominant culture, or else risk losing access to legal security and other kinds of infrastructure. You need only ask any non-native English speaker living in an Anglophone country what that process is like. Welsh people did not see English incursion as an opportunity to become 'sophisticated and english enough', they had to assimilate in order to survive.

The "Irish and the Scots? #brutish animals that need to be culled" is also painfully misrepresenting a very complex social and political process that unfolded over the span of hundreds of years. The phrasing itself of 'brutish animals that need to be culled' speaks to righteous anger at the damage done to these languages and cultures, but it reinforces negative stereotypes about the Irish and Scots themselves. It also is more complicated than a simple English hatred of anything non-Anglo, since the English conception of particularly the Irish changed a lot over the centuries. It was (and still is) rarely consistent with itself. See: the enemy is both strong and weak. The very earliest Celticists were by and large, Anglos or French.

Ernest Renan (1823-1892) for example, was an early French Celticist who published La Poésie des races celtiques (Poetry of the Celtic Races- English translation) in which he says:

"... we must search for the explanation of the chief features of the Celtic character. It has all the failings, and all the good qualities, of the solitary man; at once proud and timid, strong in feeling and feeble in action, at home free and unreserved, to the outside world awkward and embarrassed. It distrusts the foreigner, because it sees in him a being more refined than itself, who abuses its simplicity. Indifferent to the admiration of others, it asks only one thing, that it should be left to itself. It is before all else a domestic race, fitted for family life and fireside joys. In no other race has the bond of blood been stronger, or has it created more duties, or attached man to his fellow with so much breadth and depth"

Yeah. This guy (unsurprisingly) was a white supremacist. Note that this sentiment is being applied to all people considered Celtic by Renan- Irish, Welsh, Breton, Scottish, Cornish, Manx etc. None unscathed by the celtophobia of the day. In this period, Celticity was romanticised (yet disparaged at the same time). It is less 'brutish animals' and more 'archaic, time-frozen peoples' in this period. Of course, 'brutish animals' attitudes towards Celticity did still exist, but it is disingenuous to act as if it was this attitude alone which drove English celtophobia. Like many things, it is always more complicated and never clear cut as it might seem.

I'll bring this to a close shortly, but returning to OP's suggestion that the Welsh assimilated and the Scots and Irish did not, is also incorrect in that some Scots did have to assimilate to survive as well. The Statutes of Iona (1609) required Scottish Gaelic speaking Highland chiefs to send their sons away to be educated in Scots and/or English in Protestant schools. Many did as the statutes required, which led to further language loss in the Highlands of Scottish Gaelic. These are acts of survival- and not ones always taken willingly.

This has been a long post but it's one which I felt I wanted to address. There's no need for infighting between speakers of Celtic languages over who has it worse. There isn't any answer to that question, nor is it a good use of time or energy. All in all, the Celtic languages have suffered greatly over the years and its only just now that some of them are turning a corner. If you care about these languages, put your energy into something good. Only through active work will these languages be saved for generations to come.

#long post #lukes originals #cymraeg #gaelige #gaidhlig #Irish #Welsh #Scottish Gaelic #politik #not dictionary related #Celticist #Celtic Studies #This took a lot of energy to write so if you found this post useful please consider reblogging

[beepboopkek]

— Strip Starchess with Jing Yuan (Female Reader)

Including: Jing Yuan cw: afab!reader, pwp but barely, slight mention of reader having a size kink, unprotected p in v, first time writing a proper fic, first time writing smut (please send help), reader is a little bashful, overall its kind of a self-projection I guess. Jing Yuan is a little bastard (affectionate), stripping (who would've guessed), grammatical errors(I tried), Jing Yuan calls you pet names (dear, love), no use of y/n, light bondage ( reader gets their hands tied with a t-shirt nothing too bad), safe sane and consensual w/c: 3941 (might be a little off since I made a few edits in this post) a/n: I am so sorry for this I am going to die of cringe later but I needed this out of my brain so I made my best attempt at writing. There is a lot of stuff that is bad but I do not have the energy or patience to do it so, you have been warned, this is a first-time smut from an inexperienced writer whose first language isn't english :3 hope someone out there likes this

You were bored.

Extremely bored.

Jing Yuan had promised you he’d come home on time so that the two of you could enjoy dinner together. You had something fun planned for the evening for the two of you. Something you were excited to try out.

One problem though, there were still no signs of your boyfriend’s arrival.

You sent him a few messages asking him where he was but to no avail, you knew for a fact he wouldn’t be able to respond anyway.

The sound of a door opening broke you out of your thoughts as you turned around and were met with an apologetic soft smile on Jing Yuan’s face.

“Yu.”

“My Love.”

You huffed at him in annoyance, realising what he was trying to do. He always knew how to soften you up.

“You’re late.” You said as you watched him unstrap his boots and place them near the shoe rack before he turned to look at you.

“I apologize, I overslept in the afternoon and had to compensate as a result.” Jing Yuan gave you a pitiful look.

“Regardless, I am here now,” He walked over to where you were seated and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on your head. “And I’d love to eat what my dear has cooked for me.”

You rolled your eyes at him a little and turned towards the table again as he took his seat opposite to you. You began eating in silence while Jing Yuan served himself some of the food you’d made.

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” He spoke suddenly as you focused on eating and ignoring him.

“Be like what? I didn’t do anything.” You huffed back to him again while continuing to look at your food when you suddenly heard the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor, you looked up, only to be met with your boyfriend’s amber eyes boring into yours.

“What can I do to make it up to you?”

You grumbled something with your mouth full.

“I didn’t catch that, love.”

You gulped down your food, 

“I said, play Starchess with me”

“Do we not play Starchess on a regular basis already?”

“We do, yes, but I found a new variation of the game that I thought would be fun to try out. Only if youre up for it, though.” You made eye contact with him again as his eyebrow shot up in surprise.

He leaned in on the table and rested his head on the palm of his hand as he tilted his head lazily.

“Go on.”

Your confidence and annoyance all but vanished this exact second, you really hadn’t expected him to be this interested and knowing him , he probably already has an idea simply based off of the tone of your voice.

“...Nevermind.” You looked away, blushing as Jing Yuan continued to watch in lazed amusement.

“Is it-”

“Yes it’s Strip Starchess, okay? I thought it would be fun to play.” You blurted out as your ears turned a light shade of red.

“I was going to say Blitz Starchess.”

Your eyes widened in horror as you turned back to look at Jing Yuan who was now miserably failing at holding back his laughter as his shoulders shook silently and he pressed his lips together.

“I hate you.”

Jing Yuan laughed and you pouted.

“I didn’t do anything, though?”

“You know exactly what you're doing, Yu.”

Jing Yuan smiled apologetically once again as you pouted while avoiding eye contact with him. He sighed fondly and picked up his chopsticks again.

“Strip Starchess, hm? Let’s finish dinner and begin.”

You huffed again and turned back to your food and soon enough, Jing Yuan started some casual conversation and the whole ordeal was pushed to the back of your mind.

. . .That was until after you both finished eating and cleaning up.

Shit.

You suddenly had very important things to do in your library so you quietly started walking towards it, hoping Jing Yuan had all but forgotten about your earlier conversation. Just as you were about to open the door, a familiar voice called out from behind you,

"Dear?" 

You slowly turned around, trying not to look like you were caught committing a crime.

"...Yes?"

"Where would you like to play? I think the living room would be best since it is rather spacious. We can close the curtains but,"

Jing Yuan paused as he looked towards the box in his hands and back to you,

"I'm saying that while assuming that we will be taking off our clothes sooner or later. Am I wrong?" 

He smiled innocently. This bastard knew exactly what he was doing.

"... Fine, let's go to the living room then, I'll explain the rules to you." 

Jing Yuan hummed pleasantly as he walked behind you, setting the board down onto the hard wooden flooring as the both of you sat down facing each other. 

He opened up the box and set up the game and looked at you expectantly.

There was no backing out now, so you might as well give it your best.

"It's in the name, you strip when you lose a pawn." 

"Strip entirely? Or just an article of clothing?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

You gave an exasperated sigh as you stared at him with the grumpiest expression you could muster.

"I'm afraid I don't, love."

He gave you a cat-like smile as he patiently waited for you to explain.

"...Only a piece of clothing. The one who has the most clothes off at the end of the game is the loser,"

You made yourself comfortable, you need your initial confidence back desperately.

"We'll play 3 games and see who wins. I won't be going easy on you."

You smiled at him mischievously as he chuckled and re-adjusted his seating position before looking right into your eyes.

"Very well then, let the games begin." 

You focused your eyes on the board and played your first move, positioning the soldier pawn in front of your king 2 steps ahead.

Jing Yuan’s eyes lit up as he countered it by moving the same piece on his side. He knew exactly how you were going to play and he was going to ensure he won.

The game progressed and you eventually lost your first pawn, you sighed in annoyance at the realization as you looked up to see your boyfriend with his cat-like smile and of course, he had the most innocent look on his face.

Damnit.

You sighed reluctantly as you cursed him under your breath and removed your jacket.

“Happy?” You deadpanned at him.

“Very much so. Don’t be upset, you still have a chance to win.” He smirked lazily as he waited for you to play your turn

You were more cautious now, not letting him take any of your pawns when you realized you had a safe opening to take his pawn!

You took the chance and took his soldier with your bishop. Looking up at him in triumph.

He smiled back at you casually as he raised his hands in surrender,

“You got me there,”

You watchedn him in anticipation as your mouth watered a little, sure you’d been living together for a few months now but, nothing beat seeing Jing Yuan’s body.

He place his hand on his shoulder guard and removed it before smiling at you pleasantly again.

You blinked once.

Twice.

Scanning him to see if he removed anything else while you were day-dreaming.

Nope, nothing.

"I said one piece of clothing, your shoulder brace doesn't count as one." 

"You never specified if accessories were also counted."

You huffed at him, "You never asked!" 

"I don't recall having to ask, I gave you the chance to explain everything to me." He smiled innocently again.

He was right. 

He knew he was and continued to play his next move.

Bastard.

Suddenly, it dawned on you that he was still in his armor and work uniform, meaning it would take at least 15 individual games of Starchess to get even the first layer off of him. Your eyes widened in realization as he looked at you and stifled his laughter.

Well, you certainly weren't in your work clothes and barely had anything on in the first place but you might have a few accessories on your person if you looked hard enough.

Two can play that game.

The game continued as you tried your best to defend your pieces from his attacks but he was too good… much to your displeasure.

By the end of the first game, Jing Yuan barely looked any different from how he was when he entered your shared home while you had to remove your own rings and piercings, putting them away in a corner neatly as to not lose them.

Jing Yuan won the first game by the rules of normal Starchess and the two of began your second round.

You were determined, but so was he.

Time passed rather quickly as you watched your boyfriend remove more accessories and you really wondered how he was able to walk or even fight with that much on his body.

You shook your head. Now's not the time for distractions.

The game progressed as you watched your pawns get taken one by one.

Rook, Bishop, a couple of soldiers and the list went on.

…You realized very late that you were going to lose.

You've never beat him in a game of starches, partially because he sneaks away your pieces but also because he's genuinely skilled at playing the game.

You were down to your last game, Jing Yuan in his shirt and pants along with some random trinkets of his uniform that you didn't even know the purpose of, you, however, were a different story.

You'd managed to get down just to your t-shirt and panties, shivering a little in both anticipation and the chill of the night.

“Do you need a blanket? You won't have anything to cover you soon enough, I'd hate to get you sick, dear.” Jing Yuan looked at you lazily.

Bastard.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

“I'm good. This is the last game and by the look of it, you've lost more pieces than I have.”

He made a content noise in the back of his throat as if agreeing with you before looking down at the board and smiling.

“I'm afraid you are correct, I admire your confidence in the face of calamity. However,”

He moved his bishop in line with your king.

“Checkmate.” 

You glanced around the board, trying to find an escape route but there were none. 

There was no denying it, you had lost the third game as well.

But the rules were about clothes, you looked up at him and back at yourself.

“. . . Fuck.”

You sighed, reluctantly admitting defeat.

“Alright , alright. You win the 3 games and the whole game considering you have more layers on you than I do.” 

Jing Yuan smiled in amusement as he crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly,

“So, what's my reward for winning?” 

You were already packing up the board as you looked at him with a huff and stood up.

“I'll let you nap in the afternoon more tomorrow, that's your reward.” 

But before you could move your half naked self away, Jing Yuan moved closer and swiftly knocked your knees back so you toppled down onto him.

“Jing Yuan! I almost knocked the board on your head!”

You had wrapped your arms around his neck, scared to lose balance and plop onto the floor if he were to drop you.

“I'm interested in another reward.”

“What?”

“I'm the winner so isn't it natural I get to pick my reward? Besides, no proper terms were set for it when you explained the rules to me.”

“You little shit, you knew this was going to happen.”

“Dear, I am the divine foresight for a reason.” 

He chuckled as his hands slowly moved down your torso and to the hem of your t-shirt. 

He grasped the hem as he leaned into your body and spoke lowly in your ear

“Of course, if you don't want this, we could just revert to my original reward.” 

His hold on you was firm but gentle, indicating that he'd let you go if you wanted him to.

“But, something about the way you're trembling in my hold tells me you don't want to stop, do you?” 

Your breath was coming out in shaky puffs now. You simply looked away in embarrassment before he pressed himself closer to you, you could feel the warmth of his body through the clothes he was wearing.

“Answer me.” 

“. . . I don't want you to stop” 

He smiled against your ears and you swear if he had a tail it would be swishing around in excitement by now.

“That wasn't so hard, was it?” 

Kissing the red shell of your ear he moved your face towards him and kissed you deeply before pressing his forehead to yours.

“Now, allow me to claim my reward.”

He peppered kisses along your jaw as his hands finally, finally took your t-shirt up to your neck as you raised your arms to help him get it off.

You were down to your panties and bra now, coincidentally, you were wearing one of his favourite sets’.

His kisses continued downward, unbuckling your bra with one hand while the other appreciatively squeezed around your body.

He leaned down on your chest, taking a nipple into his mouth as his other hand tweaked with the other and you gasped, sparks of pleasure shooting up your spine.

Your hands immediately found purchase in his soft hair as you closed your eyes and whispered his name.

Jing Yuan always , always made sure to lather extra attention to your chest, you never understood why but it had now become a sensitive spot for you.

He kissed and licked around your nipples, leaving little bites in between so that he can see them in the morning and fuck you all over again.

Deciding he'd done enough to your chest (for now) he moved his attention downwards, chuckling breathlessly at the small wet patch on your panties.

His large hand slid down as he started moving his finger up and down on your panties, making the wet patch grow bigger.

“You call me a bastard and yet have the nerve to be this wet for me, hm?” 

“S-Shut up.” 

You panted as your brain became fuzzy and warm, not being able to think of anything else except Jing Yuan touching you.

He smirked as he added pressure with his finger on exactly where your clit is and you gasped loudly. The fabric of your panties providing a weird but not unwelcome feeling.

“Do you think you can cum just from this alone?”

“I don't k-”

You cut yourself off with a loud moan as he pinched your clit and rubbed it.

“You don't know? Well, that's too bad. We'll just have to find out it seems, hm?”

You were gasping for air and moaning loudly at this point, thrashing and tugging at Jing Yuan’s hair like your life depended on it.

“I'm feeling nicer today, let's take this off, dear.” 

He tugged at your panties and your hazy mind cleared for a second 

“Jing Yuan! Don't I-”

A loud ripping sound echoed through the room as you stared in horror at the shredded remains of your panties but before you could utter a word, Jing Yuan kissed you and simultaneously continued to make circles around your clit.

You weakly slammed your fisted hands onto the hard planes of his chest but to no avail, he wasn't going to let up.

He continued flicking your clit at a faster pace before speaking into your ear.

“Be a good girl and cum for me”

You moaned as you clenched his (now crumpled) white shirt in your hands as your eyes rolled back and your orgasm flooded over your body in waves.

The general continued to make slow and gentle circles on your clit as you got down from your high, peppering your body with kisses and bites everywhere.

You were still breathing heavily when you regained your senses again.

“So, my hypothesis was correct.” 

“You're gonna pay for that, Yu.”.

You said, not sure if youre referring to the torn panties or the fact that him massaging your clit was enough to get you to cum.

“Of course I will, and any other matching set you like so I can rip them all off of your body.” 

His voice was so calm while speaking you'd almost think he was unaffected by the situation but that was far from the truth, sitting on his lap gave away that he was extremely hard underneath you.

He kissed you again, gently this time as he pulled back and bore his eye into yours.

“Do you want to continue?” 

You didn't respond, only leaning in to kiss him before bringing your hands to the collar of his shirt and unbuttoning it.

“I'm not the only one that's going to be naked here.” 

He helped you take off his whole shirt, watching you as you admired his sculpted and scarred torso. 

“Turn around for me, love.”

You did as you were told, sitting in his lap with your back against his chest.

His hands suddenly came up on you again, going downwards to your pussy as he outlined your lips. Pressing gently on the soft flesh.

Your hands immediately found purchase on top of his much bigger ones, your breathing picking up again.

He inserted two fingers in you, pushing them in and out and curling them in just the right spot, hitting your already frayed nerves and stretching you open for him. Keeping the rhythm of his fingers up, slowly getting you towards the edge again when suddenly,

You were left empty as Jing Yuan retracted his hand and wiped it onto his pants as he unzipped them, before hooking both his hands under your plush thighs and lifting your slit above his cock.

“Tell me if you need a break.”

Before you could respond, he was already impaling you on his cock, pushing you down slowly as you reached back with your hands and grabbed his neck while arching your back.

“F-Fuck- too much-”

“You can take it, I know you can.”

He whispered breathlessly as he continued pushing you down until you met the base of his cock.

“There we go.”

Jing Yuan waited for you to adjust while rubbing gentle circles on your clit, watching intently as you fought to gain back your breath.

You were struggling at this point, mind in a haze at the feeling of being so full. Not knowing where to place your hands you blurted our the first coherent thought that came to your mind.

“. . .Tie my hands, please.”

Now it was the general’s turn to be surprised, you were not one to beg usually. He smiled coyly as he grabbed your discarded t-shirt and rolled it up to form a makeshift knot.

“If i was aware we were going to this tonight, I wouldve prepared more.”

You pushed your hands out together in front of you impatiently, just wanting to move but not trusting your shaking legs to carry through.

Jing Yuan kissed around your ears again started working on binding your hands immediately. Securing it as tight as he could, he tugged on it before pecking you on the cheek.

“There. Is that better?”

“Yes.”

You were fully panting now, subtly grinding yourself on his cock.

Jing yuan took it as his cue to move and hooked his hands under your thighs again before lifting you off his cock.

The split second where you were left empty was enough for you to whine. He wasn’t a cruel lover, though, he thrusted back in, filling you instantly.

He kept the tempo of fast but deep strokes and before long you could feel your second orgasm approaching.

Suddenly, there was a change as he pushed you down onto the wooden floor face first and ass up, the angle making him reach in different areas.

Your tied hands were above your head as you got rubbed on the floor like a mop cloth from his powerful thrusts. Jing Yuan bent over and draped his larger frame over your back, holding down your shaking hands with one of his own and thrusting faster.

“Come on, come for me.”

He whispered into your ear, again, reaching his other hand down to play with your clit.

And that's all it took for you to orgasm, releasing over his cock as he kept his pace.

For a few seconds, you blanked out completely, caught up in the haze of your orgasm that you didn't even notice Jing Yuan continuing,

That was until you were brought back to reality by a hit of overstimulation, tears already collecting at your lashes as the pleasure soared through your entire body.

“Y-Yu-”

“Just a little more.”

He continued rubbing fast circles over your clit and you could feel the tendrils of your third orgasm creeping up on you as you clenched around him hard.

It pierced through you just as your boyfriend finally released inside you, hot liquid filling you up and you felt so full.

Jing Yuan panted as he rested some of his body weight on you, essentially pinning you in place and having no way to move. Just the way you like it.

He grabbed your hips with both his hands as he gently thrusted a few times to get the last few seconds of pleasure in, wrecking your already overstimulated pussy.

“. . . I think my reward is incomplete.” He said after a few beats of silence.

“Absolutely not.” 

Jing Yuan laughed breathlessly as he pulled you back onto his lap and rested himself against the sofa, wrapping his hands around your waist and putting his head on your shoulder.

The both of you relished in the afterglow for a bit with him still stuffed inside you, just enjoying and soaking each other’s presence, you were the first to speak.

“Horny bastard, you really piledrived me on the floor of our living room.” You laughed while pecking at his cheeks.

“Me? I’m the horny one now? You were the one that suggested this game in the first place!”

Jing Yuan feigned hurt as he tightened his hold on you, eyeing you cheekily as your ears turned red.

“I didn’t proposition sex! It was a game to-”

“To what? Play house with each other?” Jing Yuan asked in an amused tone before continuing,

“You wanted it to end like this, didn’t you?”

“Not on the goddamn floor! I’m gonna have bruises from this tomorrow, I hope you're happy.”

You pouted and held your (still bound) hands close to your chest, hearing Jing Yuan snicker and feeling his chest shake.

“I’ll give you a massage right now, on the bed this time, to make up for it”

“And then what? Escalate it into having sex again? I need to walk tomorrow, Yu.”

“You know me too well.”

You looked at him into his eyes and he simply gave you a crooked smile

“Untie my hands, we need to clean up and get to bed”

“Hmm… How about I let you go now and you let me enjoy my reward in the shower again?”

You sighed before nodding in acceptance, you weren’t going to feel your legs tomorrow.

This is the price you pay for provoking the sleeping lion.

“Horny bastard.”

#jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #fem!reader #god i am not your strongest soldier #i am coming up #i just need him inside me #i had to let the demons out #send help #first fic #can i even call it that #in god we trust #i hope someone finds this ok #jing yuan smut #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail smut

[reclinepilled]

coffee beans

cw: nothing other than language and cheesiness 😭 no fem/masc reader, completely up to you.

desc: barista!ellie hates her job until a cute customer catches her eye and jesse helps her out

a/n: this is my first post, i didn’t lnow wjat to write so i kinda just blurted something out so sorry if this is bad😓 this is extremely cheesy as well, but i like that stuff! i love feedback (not rude) as well <3 also none of the dividers i use are mine, except for the solid colored ones. ill have to find the creator of the really cute ones.. other than that enjoy! <3333 reblogs are welcomed

wc: 1k

PLEASE READ HERE TO HELP PALESTINE.

working in a busy coffee shop, full of bright colors, with people all around, posing for their hopefully viral posts, wasn’t exactly ellie’s “dream job”. the hordes of people that came in during the winter should be illegal. she’d rather be helping people find vinyl’s they’d been searching the markets for, or maybe starting a band straight out of joel’s garage with her close group of friends.

though, she became accustomed to being here. whatever helped her with the stressful expenses she has to pay as a college student.

she rang up the same order that had gained popularity on some app, which felt like the millionth time today. she lets out a sigh, not even looking up, “your total will be 17.20, cash or card?”

“card, please,” your eager voice responds to an unamused barista. that’s when ellie actually looks up. she scans your features, adorned in a little snow, immediately taken aback. her saying you were gorgeous would be an understatement.

she took in your radiant skin, under the annoying glow of the menus above the prep area behind her. and your eyes. they were so captivating and comforting. the way they were all doe made her heart flutter a little, she swears.

you were a lot different than the other girls that came into the shop, all carbon copies of each other. it made her question reality honestly. however, you were different in every aspect. from your style to your energy, she just had to have you.

“o-of course, just tap it here,” ellie clears her throat and spins the payment machine around, looking up at you. you follow her instructions as you notice her hands. they we’re slender and looked fairly cold but so soft, you thought. her short, messy hair was charming. her style that made her look like someone’s grandpa was also very attractive, for some odd reason you felt like a creep being attracted to a worker, who looks like she very much hates her job as is.

“thank you. your order will be done shortly, pretty,” ellie says flashing you a smile. you blink a couple of times, malfunctioning from a compliment you hear quite often. you smile and nod, feeling your face heat up.

as ellie watches you walk off, she jogs to the kitchen in the back. “jesse?” ellie looks around looking for him. “i’m over here ellie, what’s up?” he looks up at her from a drink he was crafting. “can i take out this order please?” ellie shows him the freshly printed receipt. “less work for me? sure,” he says as he continues to to make one of the orders. “yesss,” ellie grabs your order off of the counter next to jesse and heads out of the kitchen.

now taking a seat at booth far off in the corner, you take off your tote bag and rip off your scarf. you look out of the window next to the comfy booth, in awe of the snow falling so gracefully. your attention was stolen by the outside environment, until you felt the presence of someone walking over. you quickly snap your head to the culprit. that culprit being the barista holding your order.

“it’s finished already?” you say, surprised. “well, you could say that..” ellie hands your order over, that had actually been for someone else who ordered before you. she was just really eager to just talk to you. your eyes lit up excitedly, she found that really cute. you take a sip happily.

“your shirt,” you say looking at her torso, “i love that band so much, even though they are newer. their music is very different,” you say, now looking back up at her. “yea, i totally agree,” ellie awkwardly leans on the booth seat opposite to you. truth is, ellie had no idea who this band was. it was just a random shirt she picked up from walmart, honestly.

“um anyways, i like your outfit. not everyday i see someone as stylish as you,” she motions to your cute leg warmers. “really? thank you,” you sort of giggle as you say that. ellie found that cute too, she was so far in.

what ellie thought was going smoothly and definitely not awkward, was interrupted by her coworker.

“ellie, wrap it up. i can’t be working in the back and working the register,” a man with a wolfy haircut says as he grabs ellie’s shoulder.

“jesse, fuck off. i am clearly preoccupied,” ellie’s demeanor quickly changes as she rolls her eyes, turning to him. jesse grabs his heart, looking offended. he was obviously being sarcastic. “i just blessed you and you’re cursing me out?”

“yo- you didn’t bless me.. i’m helping you”

“want me to help you and speed this up?” jesse pulls out a notepad from his tool pouch, hastily writing something down. you hold back from letting out a boisterous laugh from their interaction.

“jesse, the hell are you writing,” she says through gritted teeth, clearly embarrassed. ellie tries to read what he’s written, but jesse is already ripping it out handing you the paper. “jesse, just stop, she’s already paid!” ellie’s eyes widen with anger from annoyance.

“yea i’ve-“ jesse cuts you off, “don’t worry, just read it,” he flashes you a quick smile as he walks back to the counter.

you read the paper as you slowly smile, then you look up at ellie. you hand her the paper. ellies face immediately turns all fifty shades of red. “god, i hate him sometimes. he’s so.. childish,” ellie says as she balls the paper up, looking away to hide her embarrassment.

“don’t worry, i find you cute too,” you say smiling, looking into her beautiful, jade eyes. ellie laughs awkwardly, inhaling while fixing her posture. she takes a seat opposite of you, “so would you like to go somewhere later, like.. i-i don’t know,” she trails off. “just give me your number and we could talk about it later,” you say while looking at her nervous composure.

“cool,” she looks at you as well, finally relaxing for once. she writes down her number on a napkin that was left on the table and hands it to you. “i’ll see you soon then?” you say, watching her stand from the booth.

“definitely,” flashing you a smirk as she jogs back over to the register.

reclinepilled

please do not plagiarize any of my works or post them on other websites without given permission !

#reclinepilled writes <3 #ellie tlou #tlou #ellie x reader #fluff #ellie smut #ellie williams #ellie the last of us #joel miller #tlou fluff #ellie fluff #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fluff

[qalijahbydior]

Mirrors — Tom Blyth x Actress!reader

a/n: happy birthday to the internet's boyfriend!! LOL HE'S 29 already I FEEL SO YOUNG 😔🤌 anyway i decided to write since i had to post something while my story is still being written. newayz enjoy reading!

warnings : none just pure fluff

Tom has been in love with you the moment he heard you speak, it might be not the softest tone or soothing but there's something that draws him into you. He finds you pretty, hilarious, oddly funny and you give off that 'sunshine energy' He feels giddy when talking to you and do you feel the same thing? You do. You just love it when he laughs to your stories and hype your jokes especially when he listens to you. You two have always been teasing each other and that's what makes your friendship go on.

"Tom, come here! Look what I've found!" You say as you carry the ginger kitten and pat it. He came running to you and was already planning to touch the cat but you pulled it away. "Let me guess, you want to adopt it right?" he said, crossing his arms and tilted his head to the side. "Of course I do but the owner of my apartment specifically said no pets." You frowned at the thought of it. You really wanted to adopt the cat even if you just met him. Tom looked at you, scrutinizing your reaction. He then took the cat and rubbed its throat.

"You adopt it but it goes home to me, how does that sound?" He looked at you and the cat lovingly, his words made your face lit up and squeal at excitement. Him volunteering for the cat to live in his house meant having you over so he thought it was a good idea. "What, really? Are you serious?" you say as your eyes fluttered. You didn't think that he'd also like to take care of the cat that you were holding. "Yeah besides I feel like my house can use a pet since I don't have one." He shrugged, still petting the cat. You clung to his arms and hugged it "Yay! I now have a cat!" you squealed again then he looked at you, smiling.

she's so cute i can adopt a lot of cats if her reaction will be like this everytime he thought to himself

"But, I will name him. That's the condition, alright?" his tone was teasing because he knows that you already have a name for the cat. And you gladly let him name the cat, you nodded. "Alright, you name him." and just by a snap of a finger he already has a name for the cat. "His name is Miku, cute right?" he turned to you then smiled.

if loving this cat means getting even closer to you then i will love him and cherish him because he'll always remind me of you he thought as he was looking at your face, like it was illuminating and he loved it.

As for you, you thought that he's so kind to even offer the cat that you were adopting a roof to live in. Tom has always been nice to you and everything you love, you do, and you liked he liked it all too. As if he's now mirroring you. Everything he does is now a reflection of you.

"Nice choice, it is cute." you thought the name was cute but it had a hidden meaning and he knows. Miku is a japanese name and it means 'beautiful sky' it's name matches the way he looks at you. You're the sunshine and now the cat is the beautiful sky.

"I'll put the cat on my dressing room." you gently tried to get the cat from him but he refuses. "Nuuh, I'll hold him for a while. I'm the Dad after all." he said, a smirk creeping on his face. You furrowed your eyebrows and scrunched your nose as a reaction. "Let me hold him, you get to take him home later." you still tried to get Miku for him but he doesn't budge.

"No, I'll hold him first so he can get used to me." he's still pulling the cat away from you and tou seem to figure out a good way to deal with this and it's by distracting him. "Wait, let's buy something for him real quick. There's a pet shop five blocks away from here. We'll be quick we just need to buy uhhh a collar, wet food for kittens and his very own plate." You smiled as you pat Miku.

You and Tom, both carrying the kitten in your arms, went to the pet shop five blocks from your set. You had come to buy everything the kitten needed, and despite some hesitation by the shopkeeper - who warned you this was a lot of responsibility - you were confident that you could do it. The kitten meowed softly as it was carried away from the safety of his littermates and the familiar surroundings of the pet shop, clearly a bit anxious and unsure of what was to come next.

You and Tom carry the kitten back to the set. The kitten is a bit fussy and wants to explore everything, but eventually settles down in Tom's arms. As the kitten falls asleep, you can't help but marvel at just how cute and adorable it is. You have to admit that the pet shop was right, cats are a lot of work. But it's so worth it when the kitten is snuggled up against your chest, purring softly. It makes all the work feel worth it. You took your phone then took a picture of you, Tom and Miku.

you two will make such good cat parents and you know it.

You're now sitting at Tom's couch, inside his house as you insisted that you come and feed Miku. This day went on so fast a while ago you're contemplating whether to get Miku or just leave him there but you now have him! Tom is also loving Miku as the cat always clings onto him and purrs on his touch. You asked him if you can stay at his house for a while before you go home and he agreed.

"You know what it's starting to look like you're Miku's owner and not me but either way, it seems like he really likes you." you crossed your legs and picked Miku up to put him on your lap and pet him. "We're his owner, babe. Chill. Besides I used to have a cat that's why he seemed to like me." his words warmed your heart and did he just call you babe...? The thought of the two of you owning a cat is so cute and it just fuels your feelings towards him even more.

"Thank you, really, Tom. I appreciate this so much. I love that you also love Miku." you smiled at him as he was setting up Miku's bed. "Anything for you, pretty girl." He looks at you with love in his eyes, and the butterflies on your stomach felt like they're going to explode. You felt blood rushing through your face, feeling flustered. You just bit your lower lip, stopping yourself from smiling and continued to pet Miku.

Tom has always been like this, he compliments you at the most unexpected moments and it just gets you all red and flustered. You love his compliments and he loves giving it to you. He likes seeing you smile, laugh and jolly because seeing you happy makes him happy too. Your enthusiasm is like a virus once he gets to you. And you also love making him happy, that man's happiness is just simple. You don't know how you make him happy but you just do anything anyway.

Your friendship with him has been a rollercoaster ride, it gets crazy the more that it lasts. You wanted to tell him how you feel towards him but It also scared you, the thought of losing your friendship just because of your feelings towards him scared you.

You always fought the urge to tell him how you felt, so instead of telling him you just express it. Physical touch, words of affirmation and acts of service has always been your love language. You liked being near him, you liked clinging onto him like he's going to disappear anytime.

He now sat down beside you and just looked at you as you were playing with Miku. "Y/N" he called and you turned to him, smiling. "Yeah?" his expression softened as he spoke once again. He looked like he was in deep thought before he spoke. "How come you're not dating anyone? I've never seen you go around and date someone?" he asked, he always thought of that but if ever that you really did it would hurt. Just the thought of you dating another guy that isn't him is already piercing his heart.

"I'm not interested. That's it, I'm not looking for anything because I've already got what I need. I can never ask for more." and that's how you really felt through out your friendship with him. You know that he probably doesn't think of your friendship like you two were tied to each other but it always felt that way.

"But do you like someone right now or I don't know, used to like someone?" he knows that this question might be a risk but he still asked it, desperate for an answer. Like his whole feelings depended on it. You didn't know how to answer the question because you were afraid that he might think that he's the one you're talking about. But you're going to make the most out of it

"Well, there's this friend of mine. He really makes me happy. What's for sure is I like him but I can never tell him what I feel. What if my growing feelings ruin our friendship? I enjoy what we have. I feel like I'm already tied to him but not in a bad way, you get me? This friend has been there for me since we met, and lately I've been feeling that I'm seeing myself through him. Not in a selfish way." you explained and that got him thinking of the things that he's done to you or with you these days, trying to connect the dots and see if it would make sense.

And now, it did make sense. He just now realized that he's mirroring you, too. You two are the reflections of each other

"Y/N, it's me isn't it?" he asked, wanting to confirm his thoughts. You looked down and nodded. He was so happy that It was him and you felt the same. He put Miku aside and held both of your hands, he made you face him. His ocean blue eyes looking at you.

"You know why I stuck with you the moment we met? There's like an invisible force pulling me towards you. Your smile, your laugh, your funny antics had got me. It's just so addicting that I found myself always crawling towards you. You're like a ray of sunshine that wherever you go you lighten up everything." he removed his other hand from your grip and caressed the side of your face, and you finding comfort in it. His words made your heart melt even more. You loved him the same as he's the reason why you laugh and smile.

"I never knew that you saw me like that. I now know why you always tease me and make me laugh. To be honest I feel the same, there's a missing part of me whenever you're away from me even just feets away. There's something lacking when you're not there making me laugh and it has been a routine ever since. Your presence and existence completes me." you gave him a sweet smile then looked down at your hands intertwined.

The butterflies on your stomach felt crazy. His hands holding you, his ocean blue eyes fixated on you and love just filling the room felt right and perfect. He looks at you the way he always looks at you all the time, eyes full of admiration and love. You've always tried to shake off that thought when he looks at you thinking that you're just mistaken or seeing things but now it's all clear. He loves you, likes you, adores you like you're the only thing that's meant to be adored.

And you also tried to hide that look in your eyes but now that got you thinking, did he always see right through me?

The moment feels euphoric for Tom, and he can't contain his excitement as he shares his true feelings with you. He has waited for this moment for so long, and finally, it's here. Tom confesses his love for you, and you can sense the genuine and pure emotion behind his words. Seeing your reaction, he feels beyond happy and satisfied that you now know how he feels. He feels like he has accomplished something special, and the sight of your face only makes the whole experience even sweeter.

The vacancy that sat in my heart, is a space that now you hold.

#Spotify #tom blyth #tom blyth x reader #coriolanus snow #billy the kid #tbosas #happy birthday tom blyth

[bengiyo]

BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes,  The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

#Ben writes #best of bl 2023 #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #filipino bl #korean bl #ben watches

[astro-enthusiast]

Solar Return Observations 1.0

Hello, I'm so excited to write this post! Today I will provide an overview of my most recent solar return chart and how the year manifested for me.

For extra background, this was my 12th house profection year (ruled by Jupiter) and it was just as messy as the astro girlies predicted. 0/10 would recommend. Due to this being my 12th house protection year, I assumed it would be pretty low-key. But, my Leo ascendant had other plans. Note: these observations were made using Tropical astrology and Placidus house system!

Leo Ascendant at 24 degrees: talk about being in the spotlight. To an uncomfortable degree, the focus really was on me this year. What I could do, what my talents are, and undivided attention. For an introvert like myself, this was superrr uncomfy!! Idk how y'all do it. But this was a year where my creativity was able to shine. I spent a lot of time with kids and nurturing my own inner child.

Taurus Sun in 9th house (conjunct mercury, NN and MC): I started and stopped college this year. Apparently I needed to go back to be reminded of how much I despise it. Much to my dismay, I did little to no traveling this year. But these planets are all in Taurus so perhaps that can make them stationary? Sun conjunct NN made it to where my entire being was exactly what I needed to be. I just needed to stand tall and confident (Leo ASC) in who God created me to be.

Speaking of God, with this being my 12th house protection year, I started going back to church, volunteering my time and resources, and standing stronger in my spirituality. I would have NEVER made it through this year without this!

Aquarius Pluto in 6th house square Taurus Sun: I thought I was gonna d*e like a thousand times when I seen this aspect/placement. Y'all I was scurred, but still I rise! This year was certainly strange. At times it felt as if I was my own worst enemy. Battling inner battles every moment of the day. I joked that each week I was a new person, but honestly, this was the truth. Pluto doesn't let you stay the same. My routine changed a lot this year and I ended up working in a career I have never even considered! I also started posting on social media a lot more and even made a YouTube channel!

Cancer Moon conjunct Cancer Mars in 11th house: this also frightened me. I'm a natal Cap moon so to give me a Cancer moon?! Baby, idk what to do with this...but we made it work! My energy levels were very much dependent on my mood and emotions so that was icky. My relationship with my mother pretty much carried me through this year. In whole signs, this moon is placed in the 12th house which I found very interesting as my mother suffered some mental health issues and had to go away for a bit. I did partake in more social gatherings this year, although I won't say I necessarily gained more friends. Friendly gatherings felt more purposeful and I felt much less anxiety compared to what I would typically feel.

Scorpio IC: a majority of my transformations took place at home. I would go to sleep and energetically wake up a completely different person.

Taurus Mercury square Leo Ascendant: the way I articulated myself was in direct contrast with the way I presented myself. My appearance was very bold and hard to ignore, but my voice was very soft-spoken, yet straight to the point. I also noticed that people expected me to be one way, but when I opened my mouth and was a straight shooter, it took people aback, Like yeah, you weren't expecting me to be a bad*ss were you? Also Sun conjunct Mercury and Mercury conjunct Uranus so I stood on business!

Aries Chiron at a Leo degree: You know what's worse than being projected into the spotlight? Being in the spotlight, but cringing the entire time because you don't want people to see who you truly are. Flaws and all. This was how this placement manifested for me. I've always struggled with self-acceptance but the universe really said it's time to tackle this head on! Not an easy feat...

7th house Pisces Saturn at a Leo degree: Dang, Leo energy was on me bad this year! Well, I experienced my first committed romantic relationship with a Pisces Rising! It only lasted a few months, but the levels of delusion were insane. Definitely someone I shouldn't have been with to begin with, but you don't know unless you try, right? Saturn sextile my NN and Sun, so it was for character development hahaha.

10th house Gemini Venus at Leo degree: I've had this placement in plenty of my Solar Returns and each time I thank God it's only for a year. But it's a cute lil placement for the time being. With Venus in the 10th house, I found it very easy to charm people and get on their good side. Especially after just one conversation. I didn't have any love triangles cause I don't play that, but I did have quite a few people tryna be my boo...Venus square Neptune added to the delusion I had going and Sextile Chiron helped me to heal relationship issues and my relationships with women! Ooh, Gemini rules the hands and I created a lot of beauty this past year! Especially on the internet. I was also incredibly loved at work. People bringing me gifts and buying me food regularly. I could get used to this lol.

10th house Taurus Uranus conjunct MC: drastic and unexpected changes in my career and reputation. One minute no one knew me and next minute I'm Ms. Popular?? Okay, popular for ME lol. I was nervous in my career because I was doing stuff I had never done before. My job seemed fairly stable and chill. I appreciated this vibe greatly.

These are some of the placements/aspects that stood out to me this last year. Feel free to shed some light on your personal experiences with these placements either natal or solar return. :)

Please do not under any circumstances copy, rewrite, reword, or repost my work without crediting me.

#astrology #astroblr #astro observations #astro notes #solar return #solar return chart

[ratllu]

ADHD TIP!!!!!! hw :,)

1. make timelapses on your phone of u doing your work. this helps so much i cant even BEGIN to explain. it feels like im a little youtube with my life together, and i love the idea/aesthetic of people having video diaries so. it also helps me stay on task because ik that id hate to rewatch my videos and see that i was super unproductive, so it’s almost like performance anxiety but in a good way and it’s satisfying to see !! if u want i will post some of them           

2. SEPERATE YOUR BROWSERS! i use opera for my fun stuff (it’s basically just google marketed “for gamers” and it kinda slaps ngl) and ive got a rule that when im on chrome, im not allowed to use any of my time-sucking things (pinterest, tumblr, quora).’

3. when writing an essay, change the font and line spacing consistently. helps my brain by adding variety and avoiding the thing where u gotta reread the sentence 8 times only to forget it and read it again only to forget it and rea

4. when you have a writing assignment (can u tell im doing my english final rn) START IT ON PAPER. u gotta sit down with your notebook and the intent to write the draft of the essay on paper. ive found that pretty quickly, my hyperfocus will kick in and my brain will catch the drift of what we’re doing, which ends up prompting me to switch over to my computer.  ive got so many pages in my book rn that are just the first paragraph of a paper that end  abruptly as i get into the flow of things 

5. when typing, wear fingerless gloves. it helps man, trust me. it feels like all of my typing and writing energy is stored in my hands and the fingerless gloves kinda contain that energy. does that make sense. do you guys get that. i feel like u get it 

6. templates. something i struggle with is not really knowing how or where to start things, which templates have seemed to help with. for example if im writing a biography about someone, ill google biography templates and there will be an outline that works as the perfect guide. this tip is pretty universal and can benefit everyone, but it took me a while to figure out pls. outline = good

7. work in the dark/at night- though im sure a lot of us do this regardless, working in a situation that imitates/is nighttime is genuinely helpful for us. for me, working at night feels like a choice that i made on my own and without instruction from superiors, which is motivating for some reason. people with adhd (i think this might apply to other forms of nuerodiversity but im only certain about adhd) have circadian rhythms that naturally skew later, so working later instead of in the daytime might be the most productive time for u. 

also, i get that it’s good to avoid doing work in bed because associating a place of comfort with an activity of strain is probably Not the best, but sometimes, working in my bed is just what works best for me. it’s important to know yourself and trust what you need!! 

#adhd #nuerodivergent #nuerodiversity #adhd hacks #productivity #studyblr #autism #self help #advice #writing #homework #online school #redtips

[herofics]

Yooo, remember a WHILE back when you made those Sloth HC’s for Mina and Kiri? (Took me a lot of scrolling, you make TONS of great stuff luv.)

Could you somehow transfer that to JJK with Todo and Maki? I just love the concept of it and how you’d incorporate that in their world.

A/N: Thank you, if you want to find posts easier, the masterlists are linked in the pinned post. The post/request can be found here and it was pretty fun to write back then. It was also pretty fun to write now too. These are based on how the characters are in the anime, rather than in the manga, because the manga is so much ahead. Did HCs since it’s the easier option, but I gotta admit I don’t have a particularly good grasp on Todo’s personality especially, but I hope these are fine

~Zenin Maki~

•Your cursed technique stockpiles cursed energy the more slothful you are

•It comes with your physical abilities strengthening and your cursed energy becoming more intense (Idk how the hell CTs or CE works)

•You do your daily things, you train with the others and stuff like that, but you always do it the easiest way possible, the way that requires the least effort

•Maki wasn’t a big fan of you when you first started in Jujutsu High, you started at the same time and she found you quite infuriating

•You never seemed to take anything seriously, most of the time you were just lounging around, yawning, looking generally tired and being lazy

•But when she saw you fight for the first time, actually fight against a curse when you were assigned on a mission together, she was stunned to silence, which is a pretty impressive feat for anyone when it comes to Maki

•You always liked her, you thought she was badass and no matter what anyone else thought, strong

•You and Maki actually end up becoming pretty close after you saved each other’s asses on the first mission you had together

•The dating thing just kind of happened without either of you really realizing it, until Panda made some off hand comment about you two dating and you were both like “We’re not dating!”

•Which led to the conversation of “Are we dating?” and ended with the conclusion of “I guess we are”

•When you overexert yourself, you fall asleep very soon after, therefore you have to be good at distributing your cursed energy evenly so you don’t run out

•You also have to sleep for a pretty long while after to get your cursed energy back to a normal level

•Maki doesn’t really care if you’re lazy, since you still put effort into the relationship and you can hold your own and you’ve got her back in a fight

~Todo Aoi~

•Todo used to not have a very high opinion of you, because of how lazy you were

•He felt like you never put any effort into anything, especially physical training, which was very much the case but he didn’t yet understand why

•You never really talked about your cursed technique, because you didn’t see a reason to

•So Todo didn’t know about how it worked or that your lifestyle was very good for your cursed technique

•When you finally got annoyed at his attitude and the constant chastising, you told him about your cursed technique

•Now he can just complain to you about your martial arts and close combat technique, which he does

•Todo actually starts helping you with honing your technique, which includes a lot of sparring and you getting beat because you don’t want to use your cursed energy on him

•He wouldn’t kill you, and getting at least a bit beat up was a pretty daily thing for you as a jujutsu sorcerer

•Todo has had to carry you back from missions a few times when it got tough and you over exerted yourself, because you fell asleep

•He doesn’t mind, and he’s much gentler with you now that you’ve started dating

•Before he just threw you over his shoulder and carried you kind of carelessly

•When you need to recharge, you like to sleep in his bed

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #todo aoi #maki zenin #maki x reader #todo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jjk hcs #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fanfic

[souperbloom]

Hiiii! I had an idea for a fic where reader is part of the band and is dating ashton. After their performance since their adrenaline is so high they get high and have high sex 🤭

fucking obsessed with this one. had a blast writing it too. soup nation hath spoken, so sativa you shall receive (sorry it took so long)

enjoy <3

————————

sativa. [A.I.]

🍃 boyfriend!ash x bandmate!reader

after the curtains close, you and Ashton let out that post-show adrenaline the best way you both know how.

a/n: i’m picturing black hair ash for this, but feel free to picture any era you’d like!

CONTENT WARNINGS: smut!, weed/smoking, strong language, pet names, oral/faceriding(f!receiving), switch!ash :3

WORDCOUNT: 6.1k

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Tonight was a night like no other. You and your band had just bid adieu to yet another incredible crowd, the lot of you filled with so much energy that it left you feeling as though you were about to burst.

"…Fuck yes, dude!"

"Who has my bag?!"

"Your shoe’s untied, mate! Slow down!"

You and your bandmates barreled through the parking lot of The Kia Forum, buzzed out completely on vibes. You had been running so fast, and for so long, that you had completely forgotten what you were running for.

It wasn’t much longer than a few minutes before you remembered, and reached, your destination— the tour bus, which was parked all the way at the back entrance of the arena. Each of you stopped accordingly, catching your breath.

"Why did we even start running?" Your bassist, Calum, has always had a gripe with running.

"Who fuckin’ cares?! That shit was awesome!" Michael blows out a breath, resting his hands on his knees.

"I like running… but not in these shoes… Dear God—" Luke had found himself on the ground, letting out a long, and loud groan.

"I could go again. Fuck it! Who wants to race me?" Your boyfriend’s voice pipes up from behind you. You whip your head around to see him jogging in place with a smile.

You let out a giggle, still breathless from the strides you had taken to keep up with his pace on your initial run into the parking lot.

"Nobody’s racing anybody, Ash," Calum huffs, stretching his legs, "We’ve gotta pack up our shit on time before they leave us here like last time."

Ashton blows a raspberry, "You’re no fun."

"I’ll race you," you shrug to him, still completely clouded with adrenaline. The running barely made a dent in the energy that was coursing through your veins.

He wraps a broad arm around your shoulder, hugging you into his side.

"You say that now, baby— but the last time I beat you in a race, you didn’t talk to me for like, a week."

"Hey," you scoff, "I had good reason! You teased me about it every time I opened my fuckin’ mouth!"

"She’s right, Ash," Luke finally pipes up from his resting place on the concrete, "you bullied the shit out of her."

"You clearly just don’t understand my comedic repertoire."

Michael and Calum laugh, each patting Ashton on the back as they walk by to step onto the tour bus. You glance over at Ash, who had been staring at Luke on the ground.

"You alright, Lu?" You ask, slithering out of your boyfriend’s grasp.

"Yeah, yeah— I’m fine. Just— give me a second." He holds his hand up in the air, almost surrendering to the cold, hard ground.

"C’mon, mate. Let’s get you on this bus. It seems like Y/N is the only one matching my energy tonight."

Ashton takes Luke’s hand, pulling him up by his torso. You watch in awe at how effortlessly your boyfriend hoists him up, the butterflies in your stomach still floating around just as they did when you first got together with him.

"Okay, I’m good now." Luke blows out a breath, adjusting his heels in his boots.

Ashton, Luke, and yourself all make your way back onto the tour bus, each with your own respective bags and belongings. By the time you had stepped on, Michael and Calum had already found their seats on one of the couches. They were browsing their phones, occasionally showing each other something and giggling at the screen.

"Got room for one more?" Luke asks, moving Calum’s spread out legs to make a seat for himself.

"There’s a whole ‘nother couch, mate," Calum huffs, so entranced by his phone that he hadn’t even looked up.

You and Ashton had made your way to the other couch in question. Your eyes find Luke’s, his find Ashton, as you each toss each other a knowing glance.

"Nah, I think I’m alright sitting here. Why, you don’t want my company?"

As the other three bicker, you and your boyfriend find a comfortable position on the couch. Your head is resting on his shoulder, his arm extended over the top of the couch and resting along the back of it. He pulls out his phone to check the time.

"It’s half past eleven and I’m fuckin’ wired." Ashton mumbles. You feel his body vibrate with the words he speaks as you rest your head onto him.

"Me too," you admit, your leg starting a cadence of bobbing up and down, "I’d usually be down for the count by now."

"Y’think it’s the adrenaline rush? I’m not sure why but— I feel like I could scale a goddamn mountain right now."

You shrug, trying to close your eyes as the bus starts to move, "Could be. But— it’s hard to believe we’re the only ones feeling it."

Ashton’s hand was gently lingering around the nape of your neck. He then started to toy with your hair, resting his head on top of yours.

Your leg had continued to bounce, still feeling as if you were about to pop off into the sky like a fucking bottle rocket.

It was only about a 20 minute drive from the venue back to the hotel, but the anticipation of getting there was absolutely killing you. You weren’t sure how long you’d be able to stand sitting quietly, especially now that Ashton’s hand had traveled to your shoulder.

He twists his head, planting a kiss on your temple before whispering in your ear.

"Why’s your leg doing that?"

"Dunno’. Just energized, I guess."

Your boyfriend nods in understanding. "Isn’t being on this bus right now just the worst?"

"Don’t remind me," you say, as Ashton is removing his arm from the back of the couch.

He puts his arm back at his side, yet his hand finds your leg like a magnet. His fingertips creep towards your inner thigh, your leg still bouncing impatiently.

"Really wish we were back at the hotel…" He then dips down slowly to be level with your ear.

"…’Wanna put all this energy to good use, no?"

His words send a shock wave down your spine, similar to the ones that had been coursing through you all night long. You knew exactly where his head was at, but whether or not you wanted to acknowledge it while the rest of the band was three feet away from you was a battle you did not want to fight right now.

"Ash, knock it off," you whisper sternly, pressing your hand down on his in order to keep it from inching any closer to its’ destination.

"They’re not even paying attention. Look at ‘em." He gestures towards the boys on the couch, all either buried in their phones, or passed the fuck out.

"Still— If they saw anything I’d fucking kill myself."

Ashton’s tongue juts out to wet his bottom lip, now looking at you as if you were a dessert waiting to be devoured. You roll your eyes, trying your best to seem unbothered by his gaze.

"Fine."

The rest of the trip was uneventful. Ashton would occasionally squeeze your thigh, or his knee would knock against yours when Calum let out a particularly loud snore. You had finally made it back to your hotel, and were filing out one by one from the tour bus

"It’s amazing how you fast you can fall asleep," You hear Michael poke fun at Cal, who had been yawning and stretching as if he had gotten a full night’s sleep.

"The art of the power nap, my friend."

"Even after all these years, you still snore like an animal," you giggle, reminiscing on the many nights you’d spent on the road together.

As Calum opens his mouth to retaliate, Luke is stepping out of the tour bus and joining the conversation.

"Everyone has their shit, right?" he asks, hoisting his bag over his shoulder.

"Yup."

"Mhmm."

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now get out of my sight. All of you. Don’t wanna see your faces ‘till tomorrow morning a nine." Luke teases, wagging his finger at the rest of you.

You each gave hugs and said your goodnights, all while Ashton was glued to your hip. His body radiated off an aura that you couldn’t quite put your finger on— you didn’t know if it was just the energy, or the fact that the tension between you two was thick enough to cut with a pair of scissors.

But you knew full and well that you were feeling it too.

"That was the longest bus ride of my fuckin’ life," Ashton huffs, fumbling in his pants pocket for the keycard to your suite.

"I know— I feel like I should be tired," you shrug, "I probably won’t be able to sleep for a while though."

As Ashton pushes open the door to your shared hotel room, he tosses you a smirk over his shoulder. You blush, adjusting your bag strap and trying not to make too much of a face.

"We should stay up all night."

"Do you really think that’s the best idea?" Now, his eyes were wide and glassy. Your boyfriend’s energy had skyrocketed at an alarmingly fast rate.

"No, not at all. But— I think it would be fun, don’t you?"

The thought of staying up all night made you tired in itself, but you couldn’t push past the adrenaline still rolling through your veins.

You think for a moment, mulling over the pros and cons.

It’s already after midnight. Call time for tomorrow was at 9am. What’s 8 and a half more hours gonna change?

"It would be fun… But what would we do for that long?" You drop your bags on the carpet with a sigh.

"I could think of a thing or two," says Ashton, wiggling his eyebrows. He rifles through his bag on the floor for a moment, while you flop down on the king sized mattress.

"Like what? ‘Cause I’m not about to just sit here and stare at you."

"I don’t see a problem with looking at your gorgeous face for eight hours straight," Ashton chuckles, "but that wouldn’t be realistic…"

He digs down into one of the pockets of his backpack, pulling out a small rolling tray, a pack of papers, and a jar of bud.

"…So how about I roll up and we see where it takes us?"

You can’t help but bite your lip at the thought of Ashton rolling up for you. He always gave you the princess treatment when it came to smoking, and tonight was no different.

"I’m down for that." You hum, shifting yourself up on the bed and resting your arms on the pillows.

"Perfect. It’s settled then."

You watch with patient eyes as your boyfriend stands with his belongings. A rolling tray, papers, and a grinder in one hand, the bud, and a pack of filters in the other. His gaze drops down your body, landing on your torso.

Without a word, he finds his way onto the bed on his knees, a sly smile sprawling across his cheeks as he moves around you slowly.

"Whatcha’ doin’, baby?" You ask innocently.

"Nothin’."

His timid reply made your stomach flip, not long before he’s reaching his leg over your body to straddle you. He rests himself gently onto your thighs, putting his rolling supplies down at your side.

"Gonna roll up now, mkay?" He finds your approval with his eyes, as he slowly starts to dip his body down to lay flat onto you. Confused, you lift your brow, but you’re immediately shut up when he starts tugging at the hemline of your shirt.

"Ash, what—"

"Shhhh," he whispers, before pulling up the spandex material of your stage shirt and leaving a gentle kiss on your belly.

Your heart flutters at his simple gesture, just watching in awe as he starts to lay out his rolling supplies on your stomach. You were still very confused, yet you didn’t have the heart to question him.

Now with a rolling tray, papers, and a grinder all splayed across your body, Ashton starts his routine. He takes out a nug from the jar, popping it into the grinder and using his elbows to keep himself hovered over your body.

"What am I, a table?" You giggle, the movement of your stomach causing the rolling tray and other things to move around.

"Your giggling is fuckin’ up my work station, baby. Try to hold still f’me."

You clamp your giggly mouth shut with a straight face, still oddly amused by this strange scenario. Ashton had never used you as a rolling tray before, so pardon you for seeming weird about it.

Once he was done grinding up the weed, he grabbed a filter, all while balancing himself over your body. He made his next moves tediously, laying out a paper flat onto his tray and sprinkling the plant onto it.

Your first instinct was to hold your breath, but something about his face of concentration was making you want to bust out laughing. He’d occasionally glance up at you, those green, honeypot eyes tossing you warning stares.

"Almost done—" He says, now folding up the corners of the paper and actually starting to roll it.

What you loved most about watching Ashton roll was the pure concentration that overcame him, every single time. His eyes would go narrow, his tongue poking out slightly between his lips. It took everything inside of you not to sit up and start showering his face in kisses, but you held back.

For the sake of the joint.

"She’s a beauty," you say, watching Ashton tongue the rolling paper and leaving you with nothing but intrusive, sinful thoughts.

"Mhmmm," Ashton hums in return, before giving the paper one more lick. He twists up the end, finally getting to admire his handiwork.

"Your belly makes one hell of a rolling tray, baby— might have to try rolling up your tits next."

"Yeah, right. Good luck with that one."

You both laugh as Ashton starts to remove his supplies off of you, haphazardly tossing them to the side.

He then pops the joint into the corner of his mouth, and uses his fists to crawl up to you. He stops at eye level, fully straddling you with the jay between his lips and a devilish gleam in his eye.

"What are you looking at?" You ask, already knowing the answer.

"You." He mumbles through the side of his mouth, the joint stuck to his bottom lip,

"Yeah, no shit," you laugh, "But why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like there’s something on your mind."

He cocks his head, "Well, there is this one thing…"

Feeling daring, you pluck the joint from between his lips, taking it between your fingers.

"If ya’ tell me what it is, I’ll let you take the first hit."

"Psh," he scoffs, "like I wasn’t gonna do that anyway."

A bout of confidence rolls down your body, absolutely entranced by your boyfriend’s floppy black curls. He looked absolutely ravishing. The gaze in his eye flicking from innocent to lust fueled, just with a blink.

And if there’s one thing you always knew, it was exactly what he wanted.

"You fuckin’ wish… Tell me what’s on your mind, pretty boy."

Your nickname for him made him close his eyes, taking in a deep breath as you ran the back of your hand along his cheekbone.

The joint was still dangling between your fingertips, but you were debating putting it down after the way he had sighed.

"You always know how to get me, don’t you?" His voice was quiet, and sultry.

"Contrary to popular belief, Ash, I know a lot about you. Enough to know what you’re thinking about."

"You’re such a fuckin’ tease," he grumbles.

"Hey, you started it. Just trying to match that energy from before, y’know?"

"Trust me, it’s still here, darlin’. It never left."

Your mouth pulls to the side, watching his eyes flick between your lips and your chest.

"Oh, really?… You catch your bottom lip with your teeth.

"…Prove it."

In a flash, Ashton is flipping you over, bringing your hips to straddle his waist with your calves digging deeply into the hotel mattress. The action practically knocks the wind out of you, all with the joint still dangling between your fingertips. But you used Ashton’s broad chest as leverage for your palms, so you didn’t fall.

"I’ve got the time to prove it… and a lighter."

Ashton reaches over to the bedside table, practically knocking everything off of it as he reaches for his black Zippo. It was like a piece of him— never leaving his sight for more than a few minutes.

And on the rare occasion in which it wasn’t on him, it could be found right in your back pocket.

"Well then, if you insist— light me up, baby."

You place the joint between your lips, making a sly effort to dig your hips downward and grind into his crotch. A shaky hand approaches you, the heart shaped ink on his wrist reaching out to you with a burning flame.

He toasts the end of the joint as you inhale, the crackling, earthy feeling funneling down your throat while you take the first pull. Those golden fern eyes surveyed your every move; from the inhale, to the exhale.

"Y’look so pretty smokin’ my weed."

"Do I?" You hum, now feeling his hands as they palm at your thighs.

"Mhm."

Your cheeks flush pink, going in for another hit of the joint as Ashton just watches you; like he was in some sort of trance.

But as the smoke travelled down into your lungs and left you feeling a bit fuzzy, something inside of you perks up. A yearning to be in control; to tell Ashton whatever perfectly fucked up words were left in that adrenaline-doused brain of yours.

"You look even prettier under me."

His eyes flutter closed, and you’re left with a cheeky, prideful smile.

You loved getting under Ashton’s skin, more than anything. Calling him pretty, pretty boy; it was like a drug to you. You craved the rush that came with the change in his demeanor. It was something he tried to deny enjoying—

Yet he always came back for more.

Without another word, you pass the joint to him, placing it between his plump lips and allowing him to take his first pull. He sighs to himself, still clawing at your pants like he would strike gold by digging his fingers into them.

"Fuck— that’s great."

"Isn’t it? She's a beauty."

"Mhmm… tastes nice."

The residual smoke clouds the air above you, as you continue to pass the joint back and forth between your lips and his.

It wasn’t long before you started feeling high; and the same went for Ashton. You shared glances through heavy, bloodshot eyes, completely entranced by one another.

"Told you this was a good way to pass time," says Ashton, whose hands had become a bit more fidgety down at your sides.

The fog in your mind was clouding your senses. It had come to a point where you felt like your voice wasn’t working— you’d open your mouth, but nothing would come out. Just a puff of air, or a soft little whimper as Ashton’s hands danced around your calves.

"Baby?" He asks you, shifting his hips beneath you with a twinkle in his eye, "You okay?"

You wanted to reply, but you were too mellowed out to even utter a word. Shooting him a soft smile, you toss your head back, and run your hands down your chest.

"I’ll take that as a yes."

Ashton was an avid smoker. You, not so much. But on the off chance he was willing to roll and smoke you up, it was very rarely that you’d say no. Ash loved to smoke with you, you loved to smoke with Ash.

It was a match made in heaven.

"Whatdaya’ think the guys are doing right now?" Ashton always blurts whatever the fuck is on his mind. High, or not.

"Mmmh, I’m not sure… Probably sleeping." It took you a minute to gain the moisture back in your throat in order to reply.

"Fuckin’ losers. They don’t know what they’re missing. I wonder if any of ‘em are staying up late…"

You can’t help but let a dreamy sigh fall past your lips, before leaning over to put out the joint over your shared bedside ashtray.

"I don’t know much about them, but I know about me n’ you."

While Ashton’s hands are dead-bolted to your waist, yours roam his torso, toying with the black button-down he had slipped on after leaving stage. You fumble with the buttons, mess with the collar, all with your bottom lip stuck between your teeth.

"Can I help you?" Ashton sighs, rather sarcastically, starting his own trail of greedy fingertips.

"You know what I want."

"I'm not sure I do, my girl. Need you to be more specific..."

"Don't play dumb, pretty boy," your hands find the first button of his shirt, "I want you."

It isn't long before all of Ashton's buttons are undone and your lips are leaving a trail of sloppy kisses, making headway towards the buckle of his jeans. He whines beneath you, hands wandering along the motions of you as you shift down his body.

"Fuck me, you're an angel," he sighs dreamily, but you just smile between kisses, already feeling the wetness pooling in your lower half.

"Am I?"

"Mhmm, heaven told me so."

With his words, you shoot up to his eye level, giving him a good stare down before slamming your lips onto his. He melts into the kiss, as do you, still writhing beneath you for any inch of release.

His tongue explores your mouth, searching for something sweeter than the feeling of his own stoned mind. Your hands caress his face; his cheeks feeling much softer than usual.

"Oh, Ashton—" You whine, not long before his teeth are sinking viciously into your bottom lip.

A hiss falls past your teeth, his blistered palms gripping your exposed sides for dear life and pushing you down onto his growing erection.

His direction of kisses starts to lead towards your jaw— then your neck, then your chest.

"Want me that badly, hmm?" You coo to him, somewhat condescendingly. All he can do is hum beneath you, absolutely mesmerized by the taste of your skin.

"You know I fuckin' do."

As he works his way back up your throat, he leaves hickies in his trails. Also known as, a story to tell the band tomorrow.

"Hey, Dracula— knock it off. We've got a show tomorrow." You giggle, as Ashton pops his head up with wide eyes. He still looks entranced by you. Could’ve been the weed, but you swore you could see little cartoon hearts bursting within his irises.

"You’re right, you’re right—"

Ashton begins to toy with the hemline of your skirt, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip as he practically undresses you with his eyes.

"Want this off?" You ask, motioning towards the article of clothing in question.

He thinks for a moment, rolling his mouth inward on itself and seemingly picturing the whole ordeal before it’s even began.

"Nuh uh. Keep it on— I like it."

"Can’t really argue with that," You shrug casually, as if being high and now horny wasn’t already causing the both of you enough grief.

Ashton clears his throat, grabbing your attention away from his wandering fingertips.

"Hey, wanna try somethin’?" he mumbles, his tone a bit whiny. Needy.

"Hm?"

"Want you to ride my face."

Your eyes widen, face flushing of color as your mindless hip rocking comes to a slow. You can barely compute what he had just asked of you, let alone find enough saliva in your throat to reply.

"Wh—"

"You don’t have to— If ya don’t wanna. Just thought it’d be fun, y’know, since we’re lookin’ for ways to pass time."

You chuckle lowly, regaining your confidence as you watch his eyes shimmer just from looking at you.

"Baby, I don’t think that’d pass much time," you sigh, stomach lurching at merely the thought of it.

A smile spreads across Ashton’s cheeks, "Why not? Don’t want me to tease you with my tongue ‘till you can’t take it anymore? I’d say I could get a good thirty minutes out of that."

"That— that’s unfair!" You screech, the butterflies in your stomach dancing along and making you shiver.

"Don’t think so. Especially since you hogged the joint. Smoked all my fuckin’ weed. I’d say we’re equal."

"Kiss my ass, Irwin." you bite back.

"God, I’d love to."

You and Ash have tried a lot of things as a couple, but this opened a completely new door. At this rate, as late as it was, you were willing to do just about anything to get your hands on your pretty boy.

"Y’know what? Fine… Let’s fuckin’ do it."

You finally give him the reply he’d been waiting for. His eyes practically shoot out of his head when he hears it.

"Really?"

"Mhmm."

Ashton tosses his head back into the plush pillows, running his hands up your waist and finding himself beneath your spandex shirt, "Gonna' make a meal outta you, baby. Promise it'll be worth it."

With his words, you're dipping back down to kiss him, feeling his hips eagerly bucking up into yours and revealing just how hard he was beneath his jeans.

"Need you," he whispers into your lips, "please. Soon?"

His incoherent babbling was already telling you everything you needed to know, his breathing picking up with the slight feeling of release he was getting by feeling you through the confines of fabric.

"Sit tight, pretty baby. Let me get situated." You part from his lips, planting one last kiss on his cheek before you're de-straddling yourself from his hips.

Your eyes zone in on his, reaching beneath your skirt to meticulously dance your way out of your lacy panties, as per his request for your skirt to stay on.

He watches through hooded eyes, discreetly moving his hand to palm himself through his jeans. You catch him out of the corner of your eye, as you partially undress yourself.

"Slow down, tiger. Save some for me."

"You're not making it any easier, ya’ tease." He grumbles, the corners of his mouth coming to a catty point.

You decided that a strip tease was enough, already feeling bad for making him wait this long. A nervous swirl settles in your stomach; having never done this before, you weren't sure what to expect.

But you knew that whatever was about to happen, Ashton would make it worth wild.

"C'mere," Ashton calls to you with two fingers, and you oblige, straddling his lap once again as his hands find you like a magnet.

"Where do you want me?"

"On my face."

You scoff, "Well duh, Ash."

"I'm serious. Don't know if I can go another fuckin' minute without your thighs as my earmuffs. Get up here. Now."

"Yes sir," you joke, shifting upward on his body. Your bare core was hovering over his chest, and he was practically drooling at the sight of you.

He gives you a quick asking glance, eyes wide and glassy as they had been since the second you two stepped off of the tour bus. You could tell how elated he was merely from the size of his pupils.

"Ready?" He asks gently, noticing you lingering.

"Think so." You suck in a deep breath, finding comfort in your boyfriend's eyes.

"Gonna start nice and slow. Nothin' to worry about." He runs a hand up your thigh, pushing up your skirt and exposing your body to him a little more.

"What makes you think I'm worried?" you quip.

"I can just see it in your eyes, baby."

The room did feel like it was spinning, but you were more bashful than nervous. But you could tell that Ashton didn’t care about the semantics of it all.

He just wanted to taste you.

After taking a moment to regain your confidence, you raise your hips. Ashton shifts down below you, peeking under your skirt at the mess you’ve already made of yourself.

"So wet, already? Damn Y/N, I’ve barely even touched you yet."

"You talk a big game for a man who practically melts when I call him pretty."

Ashton rolls his eyes, "Less talking, more ‘sit on my fuckin’ face, please’."

His hands cradle the backs of your thighs, which makes you sigh. You loved the feeling of his weathered palms; and how tenderly they scraped against your skin. Being high was only furthering that euphoria, enough to distract you from how antsy you were.

You finally let yourself lower onto his face, immediately feeling his nose nudging against your clit.

"Shit—" you hiss, for Ashton wastes no time in licking a healthy stripe up your slit.

Your muscles start to relax as his tongue moves within you, paying attention to your sounds and the jolts of your hips. He braces himself on your thighs, as you look down to see his face engulfed by your flesh and the fabric of your skirt.

"Can— can I watch?" You ask through shaky breaths, only for Ashton to knock his nose against your clit once again and release a moan from the back of your throat.

When he hums in response, a course of electricity shocks your veins. You knew that meant he was saying yes, but the feeling of him vibrating against your core brought your heart rate to double.

You start to rock your hips slowly, feeding into the motions of his tongue chipping away at you. You reach your hands down to lift your skirt, only to reveal two bright green eyes staring back at you between your thighs.

The sight of him beneath you, so eager to please you, could’ve had you cumming right on the spot. But you were enjoying this far too much to let it end right now.

"Ash, oh my god—" You whimper, the combination of his pleading eyes and nimble tongue having you doubled over in ecstasy.

You’re too busy staring down at him to notice how he’d closed his eyes and started to move faster. The speed at which his tongue was lapping against you brought your hands to fly to your chest. You started to pinch your own nipples above your shirt, but Ash was quick to notice.

His arm shoots up to knock against yours, moving it out of the way so that he could get his greedy hands on your tits.

"Fuck— please, please," you beg, although you weren’t really sure what you were begging for. It was taking everything in your power to hold off on your orgasm and enjoy this for as long as possible.

You look down at his face again to see the tip of his nose glittering with your arousal, sweaty black curls stuck, and rearranged to his forehead.

You can’t help but smile, letting out a few more whines and whimpers as you grind your hips. He was still toying with your nipple, but made the executive decision to slide his hand beneath your shirt.

He pinches your nipple between his fingers, receiving pleasure merely from the sounds slipping past your lips. Your entire body felt like it was set ablaze, your core warm and fuzzy from the weed and attention you were receiving from your boyfriend’s tongue.

"Ash, please—" You plead again, as Ashton’s hand switches to massaging your entire breast, still working up into you and lapping at your clit from time to time. "—Gonna cum’ soon."

A muffled groan could be heard from beneath you, sending a course of electricity through your veins. He was letting you know that he heard you loud and clear, but he wasn’t quite ready to give in just yet.

When the feeling of your impending orgasm gets to be too much, you start to panic.

"Wait— I—"

Without thinking, you lift yourself off of his face, instantly whining at the loss of contact from his mouth and the feeling of accidentally edging yourself.

“Baby, my God," he sighs, breathlessly, “don’t stop. Need— need you t’ cum on my face.”

His cheeks are slick with your arousal, lips glistening as he darts his tongue out to clean some of it off.

"Are you sure?" You mumble in return, still slightly dizzy from the whirlpool happening in your lower half. But Ashton then anchors his hands on your waist, giving your flesh a gentle, pleading squeeze.

"Yes please, baby. Fuckin’ soak me. Let me taste you while you cum for me."

He’s nodding frantically, reciprocating that energy of never wanting this moment to end.

"Ashton, I--"

"Keep saying my name, darlin'. Sounds so fuckin' hot comin' out of your mouth."

You can’t shake the feeling of your orgasm being on the brink for any longer, so you waste no time. His heavy breathing and bloodshot eyes has your stomach in knots.

You re-mount his face, starting your rhythm of rocking hips once more in time with his tongue.

That wave of bliss hits you again, picking up right where you had left off. You’re whining and groaning, still feeling his fingertips digging into you and holding you stable.

"Oh, Ashton."

He groans beneath you at the angelic sound of his name rolling off of your tongue. For extra stability while you grind into him, your grasp flies to the headboard, holding on tightly as you ride out your high.

"I’m so close, Ash… keep— keep going… fuck!"

Your body was shifting into overdrive, your head tossing back to let out a guttural whine from your chest.

”I’m— I’m cumming… Fuck, Ashton!"

The knot in your stomach finally snaps, sending a wave of chills rumbling down your limbs and practically taking the headboard off of the wall with the sheer force of your orgasm.

You whine as the sensation rolls out, gradually slowing down your rhythmic hips above your boyfriend, who was as stiff as a board.

"Ashton, holy fucking shit," you giggle, letting out a long sigh. But he was unresponsive. You look down between your thighs again at those glowing fern eyes, pupils large and wavering.

"You good, pretty boy?" You move to sit on his chest, his head resting between your knees and revealing that slicked face for a second time. His shocked, lust-fueled expression morphs into a wicked smile, before he runs his hands up and down the tops of your thighs.

"You're fuckin' crazy."

You shrug, "What can I say? You bring out the best in me."

He laughs again, taking a moment to breathe and run a hand through his sweaty charcoal curls.

"Jesus Christ, Y/N," he breathes, still admiring your body as if he hadn't just sent it into shock.

"What? You asked for it."

"Honestly, I could go again."

"I know we've got time but let's not get too ahead of ourselves," you tut, taking a hand to grab his cheeks, still between your legs, "A warm bath would definitely be nice, though. I'm still a kinda high."

He nods, "I could do that, yea... But the question is whether or not that tub is big enough for the both of us."

"Who said you were invited?" you joke.

"After what just happened on my face? Baby, I think ya' owe me one."

Your head was still a tad foggy so naturally, you found yourself giggling at everything coming out of your boyfriend's mouth. He smiles up at you warmly, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip.

"Hey, what time is it anyway?"

"Not too late for you to run me a bath, if that's what you're implying."

He scoffs, using his broad hands to shift you down onto his lap so that he could sit upright.

"It's never too late for a bath, darlin'. I just wanted to know if I killed some time." He turns his head to glance over at the alarm clock on the bedside table, as do you.

"1:30." You say in unison.

"And only..." he looks at his wrist, acting as if he has on a watch, "...seven and a half more hours 'till call time."

Both you and Ashton laugh, while he's still tracing little heart patterns along your legs. "What if we took a seven and a half hour bath?" You suggest, feeding off of his teasing energy.

"We'd come out looking like fuckin' prunes."

"I'd say it's worth it...if it meant seven and a half more hours with you."

He moves his wandering hands to cup your face, cocking his head subtly to the side. You felt the sparks practically flying off of his fingertips as he looks at you with a beaming grin.

"Seven and a half hours doesn't mean a thing. We've got all the time in the goddamn world."

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin smut #5sos #5sos fanfic #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton 5sos #soupster requests

[chlorinecake]

your first impression of your moots and your impression now?

took me a while to get to this but here’s my long asf answer 🐈‍⬛

@angel1kisses ✮⋆˙ idk, something abt her blog jst INSTANTLY captivated me, like… even before I saw what she looked like, I knew she’d be a baddie 😏 in simple word tho, jst think of every high school stereotype (minus jock) but in one person. that’s how chaotic her energy was to me 😭 and it’s the same way now… gotta love my random and smexy wifey huhu 🤭

@nikisdubblchococake ✮⋆˙ meme material. she had an asian santa pfp when I first saw her account 😭 so I figured she would have an interesting sense of humor. she also used a lot of slang and meme references whenever we texted, but I just loved her energy from the beginning, and I knew we’d end up being really close friends like we are now 🫶 my copium 💯

@minhosimthings ✮⋆˙ okay so… mona left an interesting first impression on me… I was honestly a bit intimidated by her in the beginning 😳?? I just didn’t feel worthy/brave enough to talk to her at first 😭 like… she had a very quirky, mysterious, and boss bitch vibe all around ~~ but when I finally got to know her, she’s literally such a sweetheart :( like Ik we’re partners in crime but she seriously stole my heart… ❤️‍🩹 my jagi… all mine 🫂

@starrywonie ✮⋆˙ y’all. I’m abt to embarrass the hell out of myself when I saw this, but I was literally OBSESSED with Nana when I first found her page (way before I started writing myself) ~ like, i honestly thought she was older than me bc I just looked up to her as THE Jungwon fan page. now after getting to know her tho, she’s literally a walking wonie 🥲 the cutest bby ever 🫶

@candewlsy ✮⋆˙ okay soooooooo, i didn’t really have a first impression of Mizu bc as soon as I discovered her blog, we were talking and texting on discord the next day 🤪 !! but from that, i can say she has a very lovable and sociable nature… always willing to learn more abt a person while also sharing things abt herself... can't forget how much she loves her cowboys, too 🤠

@wonfilez ✮⋆˙ i discovered her blog during my yandere phase and boy when I tell you she had me hooked with "beautiful monster" 🫠 I just admired how talented of a writer she was (even though that was the only work I'd read by her at the time, it was enough to make me a fan 😭)... aside from the past though, once I finally got to meet her, I admired her bubbly personality 🫶

@enmayz ✮⋆ ˙ I just never felt confident/worthy enough to speak to or even follow Mira 😭 ... just from seeing the way she'd talk about her moots on her blog, I could immediately tell she had such a beautiful soul, and anyone close to her was literally so lucky, like- now tho? don't even get me started on her voice... her looks... her charisma ??? the girl just slays, I tell you...

@jaylaxies ✮⋆˙ enhabler's disney princess right here ☝️. I don't know what it is abt Aria, but she just radiates such royal energy??? like, as crazy as it sounds, I'm pretty sure she sparkles like diamonds or smth, bc she's literally a celebrity. an ICON, I tell you. but aside from my fangirling, she really is a sweetheart. very humble, very chill... yeah, she just slays like that 😌

@hoondrop ✮⋆˙ intimidating part 2. I always felt like a peasant whenever I saw Moon’s blog, like- it seemed disrespectful for me to even scroll through her posts 🤡 idk if it was just the aesthetic of her page, but she genuinely seemed ethereal to me. and even now after speaking with her a few times, she’s like an older sister 🥲 cool, chill, while still being relatable, just in a mature sense 🫠

@takiberry ✮⋆˙ miss renè... from the day she followed me, I didn't even bother checking out her blog because I HAD ALREADY BEEN STALKING NGL 🤡 she just seemed so vibey from the way she responded to her fans, plus, not a lot of creators on here write abt &team, so I was like, yes, let's be friends !! now tho, I see her as the lucky friend... blessed with good looks, a sweet personality and the opportunity to talk to ej 🥲 she's just THAT girl ~~

@rowretro ✮⋆˙ even though we just became moots closer towards the end of this year, I had to include Rowan on this list because she's just so cool and bubbly, and I've already had sm fun getting to know this cutie patootie over the past few days and I can’t wait for our friendship to blossom as time goes on :)

@squoxle ✮⋆˙ this beeyatch just gets on my nerves, honestly... from the moment I saw her as a baby in the hospital, I knew she would be the death of my 9 month streak of peace. but to look on the bright side... actually? there is no bright side 😔 only darkness... my impression of her remains the same, tho. she stinks, she's ugly, and HELLA annoying XD

@microwvdstrawb3rri3s ✮⋆˙ when I first saw her account, I didn't really form an opinion abt her bc I saw her as a follower than anything. but once we started talking more frequently, I swear she's like the cutest little sister ever 🥲 so endearing, energetic, and sweet... like, it genuinely makes my day every time I see one of her silly asks or just a random "hello" message in my dms !!

@cheruluv ✮⋆˙ if I'm remembering correctly, I first met Iya when she asked abt one of my yandere fics, so I just assumed right out the gate that she'd have more of an edgy personality, but when I actually got to know her, she's such a ray of comfort ❤️‍🩹. I mean, she's literally a human version of a my little pony character. just so nice and friendly all the time... 🫠

Side Note: This year has been TRASH to say the least (won’t get into the details because the haters are waiting to celebrate my misfortune)… But ever since I started this blog in early August, I’ve never felt happier, like…. ever 🤑!!! So I just wanna thank all of my precious mooties for literally just existing (?) and getting me through some of the toughest moments in my life this year… obviously I’m religious, so I gotta give credit to the LORD too 🧎‍♀️ but knowing you guys is such a slay for me. Legit feels like I’m winning at life… but anyway, Happy New Year to all of you lovelies 🫶🫶🫶 and special thanks to @ashgonedash (the original gangster... kudos to this queen for requesting blood on ice 🫡), and @yourmomscuntis2tighy (my highness... MEGA props for coming up with the convenient chances plot, like HELLO???)... these two girls have supported my goofy ahh blog since the beginning, and I will always remember y’all baddies for that :3 Take care and stay safe !! MUAH 😽 Love, Chloé 🩵

#© chlorinecake ┌iii┐ #cc: anons 🎂 #[🐮] moots ~ #enhablr #happy new year 🎆 #damn I talk a lot 🤡

[lulu-tutu]

Midnight Confessions 💕Rise!Leonardo

A/N: Decided to do Leo, because I enjoy his energy and he's my fav Rise!Turtle lmao Also, sorry for the lack of posts! Been stressed, which doesn’t help me write or get motivated but I managed to get this out! Have a fic coming out soon too that is long overdue! So look out for that :)

Also thank you to everyone that has put in their requests <3 Love you guys!

Pairing(s): Rise!Leonardo x GN!Reader

Warning(s): Sweetness, confessions, all the fluff and softness in the world.

Proof read :)

Anons first request here

——————————

Leo loves to always remind you that it was him who confessed first, just so he could see that flustered yet annoyed look that crosses your face.

It's one of his favourite expressions that you make, and if he was told to draw that exact expression, he would have the best artist in New York (other than Mikey) running for the hills.

It was sometime late at night, and knowing that you would be busy tomorrow, you decided it would be better if you slept in your own bed, as much as you would have loved to have a sleep over with your turtle friends.

Leo offered to take you home, and you were surprised when he didn't wave his Ōdachi through the air to create one of his famous portals.

He instead took you by the hand and began to lead you up to the surface, while you muttered your confusion to him on the way.

"Not getting lazy now, are you?" He teased, the edge of his mask lifting as an eyebrow raise.

You scoffed, narrowing your gaze at him as the moon greeted your figures, trying your best to not let it show how much that look of his had your stomach fluttering, "Says the one who uses his portals to get snacks even though they're only a room away."

You both climbed the nearest building until your feet were planted on the rooftops, the breeze much cooler than down below on the streets.

The walk to your apartment was full of playful banter and laughter, as it usually was when you were with the blue masked turtle, up until your bedroom window was in view, which you picked up on.

Leo gently eases you down onto your balcony, his fingers wrapped so delicately around your wrist until he was absolute sure you were safely behind the balcony railing, where he decided to perch himself, his hold not loosening from your skin.

"Alright, what's the matter?" You could easily pick up that something wasn't right with him, since when does Leo go silent? Where were all his jokes? This was so not Leon like at all, and it concerned you.

His eyes widen in surprise and his hand reels back to keep himself from falling off the railing at the sudden jerky movement, "I have no idea what you're talking about, nothings the matter. Though, if you were talking to Donnie, I'm sure he'd give you a whole speech on that subject. 'Particles this, physical space that, atoms, science, science, science-'

As much as you found his Donnie impersonation hilarious and actually quite accurate, you decided to stop his rambling by lowering one of his outstretched hands that was moving around wildly at his display of character.

"I'm serious Leo, you've been weirdly quiet ever since we got close to my place. What's up with that?" You asked him softly, feeling his fingers curl around your hand until your fingers were woven together.

You noticed how his eyes lingered there, how his grip tightened ever so slightly and his thumb brushed over your knuckles as he lets out a sigh.

"Okay," He begins, his eyes momentarily closing, leaving the air between you silent once again as he sorts out his scrambled thoughts before he opens them to squint at the ground.

"We've been friends for a while now, haven't we?" At his words, you try and pinpoint exactly where this conversation could go, eyebrows slightly furrowed in thought, but you nod and continued to listen.

"We've been through a lot together, some good times and some really bad times." You watch as his mouth curls into a tender smile, his eyes finally lift to meet your own, and something in his gaze has your throat closing in on itself.

"The thing is..." He doesn't let go of your hand, even as he slowly steps off the railing to stand at his full height in front of you, his head bowed to look down at you. It feels like he was only a breath away from your face, his own body heat melting within your own, "I want to continue to be there, for all of the bad and all of the good, but...not as just your friend."

His words were so soft spoken that if you were spaced out, you surely would have missed it, but that's the thing - All you could see was him, all there was, was Leo. His gentle gaze, the feeling of his skin under your fingertips, you were enveloped completely by him.

You sudden silence must have worried him as he ever so slightly loosens his hold on your hand, his smile slipping at the corners of his mouth, "I didn't overstep any boundaries, did I? I didn't know if I explained it properly but...I really like you, Y/n."

"Leo." You breathe out, heart beating erratically against your chest at his sudden confession. You don't know how long he had been keeping it in, but you were glad at least one of you had the nerves to tell the other.

Taking his other hand and grasping it tightly, you brought them both up to your chest, running your own thumb across his skin with a wide smile, "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to hear those words."

His eyes practically light up the night sky, his own grin matching yours as he throws his head back with a sudden laugh, one that has your cheeks burning and heart thrumming.

"Are you kidding?" He finally chuckles out, his head coming down to lay against your shoulder, his body still vibrating from his laughter, "I've been planning this whole night for the past month, only to find out I could have done it so much earlier?"

His breath against your neck sends chills down your spine, and when his arms wrap themselves around your waist, well you could have been considered a human heater.

"I guess I could have said something earlier, but I didn't want to scare you off or make things awkward." You chuckle sheepishly, raising your arm to lock them around his neck, bringing him even closer, which he doesn't complain at. He instead nuzzles his face closer into the crook of your neck, "Also, for the record, I really, really like you too."

----

Back in the sewers, the turtle group chat (and April) gets a message from a smitten red-eared slider, stating that he would be spending the night at his partners place.

"No, no!" Donnie throws his head back in horror, his arms raised towards the sky, "You failed me, Y/n! I owe April so much money!"

"Donnie owes April so much money!" Mikey's loud giggles ring across the lair, only making Donnie's defeat that much worse.

#rottmnt x reader #rottmnt Leo x reader #rottmnt x you #rottmnt x y/n #rottmnt Leonardo x reader #rottmnt Leo x you #rottmnt Leo x y/n #rottmmt Leo x reader

[gamebunny-advance]

Let's Just Rip Off This Band-Aid (Kliff Doll Repaint)

I still haven't finished adding the fringe to his scarf, but at this point, I don't think y'all will actually care that much. It's a personal project anyway, so I'll just finish it on my own time. Right now, I want to be released from the shackles of this project.

Once again, my poor camera and lack of editing do him no favors (he's got a real bad case of jaundice in that first pic. I PROMISE he's not that yellow-orange IRL ;o;), but he is (mostly) done.

Well, he was (mostly) done like a week ago, but just yesterday I decided to redo a few things to try and "fix" what was really bothering me about him, so I really made recursive progress. That said, I do like him more now than I did a week ago, so I'm not mad about it.

A little backstory: Alongside Kun3h0, I've been working on him for the past month, so I've been pretty occupied with this project for a while. Now, I do wonder to myself why exactly I thought making this would be a good idea. All I can really say is that my impulsive tendencies drive me to do things against my better judgement.

But, I will still give y'all my documentation and thoughts on the process + more pictures.

(I'll talk a little more about it later, but for those of you that aren't going to go through the long-ass readmore, the Neon J. mask is a reference to an old comic I drew.)

(It's so old, I was still writing everything by hand~)

So, the "real" answer to "why" I made this is really as simple as "because I could." As I said in the Kun3h0 post, I've been wanting to repaint dolls for a long time, years even, so in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of ways I could finally start one.

Well, recently I just finally put together the ideas and motivation I needed to start. And of course, that was with Kliff.

I don't remember *exactly* how I stumbled across everything, but I do recall looking at doll clothes online and stumbling across this trench coat (pictured with the other clothes for this project).

(I took this pic mostly because I thought I was going to take pics of every major step of the process, but that didn't end up happening).

I thought it was pretty darn close to Kliff's coat, and I got the horrible idea that, "I could def make a Kliff doll to go with this coat as long as I can repaint it."

I feel like usually people would think the other way around, but that is basically the truth of this project: I didn't find clothes to fit the doll, I made the doll to fit into the clothes. Because for me, customizing the doll wasn't really the intimidating part: it's making the clothes. I don't know how to use a sewing machine, and currently lack the patience to learn (and due to some personal trauma that I don't really want to get into), but I can hand-sew, so starting any project that involves it requires me to be willing to set aside a lot of energy for me to do it, which I don't often have.

But, if I could find ways to cut down on the sewing, then I'd be more willing to start. And somehow, I was able to find just about everything I would need for a potential Kliff doll without having to sew anything. In the end, I only sewed together one thing, and it's the one thing that isn't actually finished: the scarf.

So, I blame the trench coat for the entirety of this project: if I'd never seen it, I would have never made a Kliff doll. In fact, I got the clothes before I even had the doll.

Since I was brainstorming this project, one of the most important parts is of course the base doll, which was tricky. Male doll repaints are fairly uncommon, especially of older men, so there weren't a lot of resources or places to get inspiration for this project.

From what I found, most male (fashion) dolls were very youthful, and the ones that weren't usually took heavy modifications to achieve, which was out of the question. Kliff was supposed to be an "easy" project, so on top of not wanting to sew any clothes for him, I also didn't want to have to alter the doll that much to make it look like him. This was a lot to ask for without putting in any personal work, but in a way, this goal was supposed to keep me from actually starting this project: really this whole thing was supposed to just live in my head as a fantasy as most things do, but then I just stumbled into the right set of things, so I couldn't stop myself from going through with it.

The doll I landed on was a BTS Mattel doll. Now I've said before that I know basically nothing about BTS, and that is still true, but that's beside the point. In my research for finding a suitable doll to work with, I found out that a popular base were these BTS dolls. At first, I wasn't into it because I was still running into the "youthful face" problem that I was with other brands: most of them had pillowy lips and nice soft faces, but I did eventually find one that I thought was close enough: J-Hope.

(It's not the worst match up.)

I don't have pics of my doll before I started working on him, but it was pretty close to the stock photo. He has much thinner lips than the others, and a taller, more angular head shape that I thought would work best for Kliff. I did worry a bit that the nose wasn't "strong" enough to really be Kliff (and IMO, it wasn't XP), but it was the closest I found yet, so I decided to bite the bullet and get one, and if I had one, that meant I needed to start gathering everything I would need for this project.

So, no backing out now.

Now, actually acquiring this doll was a whole other song and dance, but here's the part that's important for how the process went:

Due to a miscommunication with the seller I eventually got him from, there was a delay with shipping, so I didn't actually get him until weeks after "officially" starting this project. In the meantime, the clothes and things for Kun3h0 (who I started as an impulse project within the impulse project) had already been gathered.

The original plan was that I was going to work on and subsequently post about Kliff first since he was a comparatively simpler project. All the things I was avoiding for Kliff: sewing clothes and making modifications to the doll, were all going to be incorporated into Kun3h0, so she was theorhetically going to take longer and be posted later, thus telling a small story of "starting simple, ending complex." But since I didn't have his doll, but didn't want to delay working on Kun3h0 just to wait on him, I started on her and repainting his clothes anyway.

So, I don't have any pics of the doll or his clothes from when I was working on them, unlike the sparse ones I had for Kun3h0, I only have pics from after he was finished.

But I'll still tell y'all what I can to at least preserve the story.

For starters, repainting this coat was probably the most time-consuming part of this process.

I really thought that it would take one or two days maximum to turn this coat bright yellow, but I think it actually took over a week. And I really should have known; the coat was a medium tone, and I know that yellow takes a while to build up on anything that isn't light. I lost count at some point, but I swear that thing has over 20 coats of paint on it. Mind you, the first 10 or so coats were watered down with the textile medium, which also contributed to how long it was taking for the coat to take color, but at some point I just got so frustrated that I stopped mixing in the medium and painting directly onto the coat to get the color to layer faster. This is a huge no-no for painting acrylics onto fabric, lest the paint crack from creasing the fabric, but I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I needed this thing to be dandelion yellow NOW or I was gonna lose it.

There were consequences for taking that shortcut, such as the paint cracking in high motion areas and the coat getting stiff, but it's not terrible. In the end, I accepted the trade-offs or else I might still be painting the coat. Perhaps one day I'll reverse engineer the pattern for the coat and make him a new one, but I wouldn't count on it. In retrospect, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had thought to bleach the coat first?

As you might notice, I contoured/shaded part of the coat in orange. That's something that I actually *just* added yesterday and added another couple of hours to the work time. It was just bothering me that the doll was essentially a giant slab of yellow, and was part of the reason I didn't like it very much. But I got inspired by this repaint to try contouring the coat to give it more depth.

(I also used this person's videos to modify the hands. He has one deidcated to just reshaping the BTS hands.)

In the end, I'm pretty happy with the results.

The rest of the clothes weren't as difficult to deal with.

The pants took the paint a lot better, likely due to being dark paint on a light surface. Since I used less paint, it's not as stiff as the coat and still go on very easily. Though, they are VERY high waisted, and I'm not sure if that's normal XP

The shoes are also painted (and slightly modified), though I had to paint them twice because the first time, the paint got stretched off when I tried to put them on the doll's feet: the shoes were just *slightly* too small for the feet of the doll, so they really get stretched to fit his feet, and his heels don't actually go in all the way XP.

He's still capable of standing on his own, but I try not to remove the shoes, so I can avoid having them crack again.

In my "initial clothes" pic, I put down a different shirt than the one he's wearing. The original plan was to repaint the shirt black, but my work space is very limited, so I couldn't really repaint three pieces of clothes at once without significantly risking that I would stain other things. In the end, after getting scarred by how long it was taking for the coat to take color, I decided to just give him one of the black shirts that came with the coat. This does make him somewhat inaccurate since the current shirt has flowers/plants on it, but I'm gonna say that they make up for the lack of flowers on his scarf. Maybe someday I'll make him a new shirt from an old sock or something, but for now, I don't think it's a bad look.

Other clothing of note is the scarf, but since it's not technically finished I didn't take any close pics of it. It's actually made of an old headband of mine that I just cut and painted to look like his scarf.

Originally, I had actually glued on ribbon to it for the stripes, which took a couple days for the drying, but because I couldn't flatten out the scarf to easily glue the ribbon, it turned into a mess and bulked it out too much: since the scale of the doll is already small, I really needed to keep the fabrics thin. This was especially important for the scarf since it was going to wrap around his neck: if it were any thicker, it was going to practically eat up his face, which it still does, just less so.

Speaking of face...

When I finally got the doll in the mail, I started working on him right away, so I don't have any "before" pics of the doll.

After I did the usual "wiping off the face and pulling out his hair," I started with repainting the entire body and head.

Despite Kliff being ambigously "WHITE 🫵," Kliff isn't as pale as the original doll. I'd say even the stock picture I posted above has more warmth than the actual doll did. So, I got the base to be "coral" all over, dusted him in light orange chalk pastels for contouring, and most of his details are outlined in shades of burgandy. I didn't take any nude pics of this doll, but he is countoured all over his body and you can rest easy knowing I gave him some nips XP. But maybe someday I'll show y'all doll!Kliff's washboard abs XP.

TBH, I did want to detail some tattoos and some body hair too, but I just didn't trust myself to do either of those well with the tools I have (my brushes aren't thin enough, and my hand not steady enough for those kind of intricate details). Maybe someday I'll at least get his tattoos in (and after I've actually designed them XP), but we'll see. I don't plan on having the doll in short sleeved clothes very often, so details like that are the least of my concerns.

TBH, I was pretty proud of how the face paint originally went on. I really took my time to make sure it went down flat. It really was beautifully smooth~

But disaster struck.

I had painted the head while it was still separated from the body, and when it finally came time to reunite them, the paint on the head cracked and peeled when I shoved it back on. And, foolish fool that I am, instead of accepting my losses and starting over from a perfectly clean head, I just peeled the lose ends and repainted the exposed parts, which of course made the paint uneven. I somewhat justified this with the idea that most of it would be covered by other details, but in retrospect, I really should have just started over properly.

But, after that ordeal was over with, it was time to actually work on the face.

I can't clearly remember if I worked on Kun3h0 or Kliff's face first. I think I worked on them simultaneously because it took me a LONG time to actually get the courage to work on Kun3h0's face.

I thought I did a decent job on Kun3h0 since I really only had the 1 eye to repaint (the hidden eye is painted, but it's basically just a void with no details), and it was a bigger "canvas", so it was easier to paint. Besides having 2 eyes that I would need to make nearly identical, they were also a lot smaller, so it took a lot longer to paint them in a way that satisfied me (and since it's not easy to "redo" acrylic paint, his eyes lost a lot of smoothness too).

Again, I don't have any "before" pics, so it won't be easy for me to convey my troubles about it, but I do want to say that I think Kliff with a closed mouth is very cursed.

:I

He just looks like he's itching to say something heinous and that is no different for the doll.

It was so difficult for me both match his expression on a face that wasn't *completely* his and still look like him. Although I chose this doll because he most resembled Kliff, he was never gonna be a perfect likeness of him, but despite knowing this, it still bothered me that the face was still just very "young" looking.

Granted, I don't think the original Kliff looks *that* old either (if I didn't know any better, I would assume he was in his 30s, not his 50s, especially compared to other characters around the same age), but still not as *smooth* as the doll is (even with my paint mishaps).

If you can believe it, the face actually used be worse. I don't have pics of it, but like the coat, I actually repainted his face yesterday to again try and fix what was making me dislike it before. I think the problem is that I didn't outline the eyes as much as the final one (like, I don't think I lined his undereye at all), so he was lacking depth. The mouth was also a little more off. Instead of being like "<--->" it was more like "|-|"

(A rough illustration of what I'm trying to describe.)

So, while it's still not perfect, I do like him more today than I did a week ago.

I think the only things left to talk about are his accessories, starting with his wig:

I'm not actually a big fan of the color. When I started this project, I wanted to try and make him as accurate as possible, and the original Kliff design has a very "cherry jolly rancher" hair color.

However, how I draw him and how he appears in Encore Edition gives his hair a more red-orange tone which isn't as intense. In the end, I opted for accuracy towards his first design since that's the one I was technically most familiar with and wanted to replicate, but in retrospect, I should have realized that I was never gonna be able to seperate my personal quirks from this personal project, so I should have gone with a color that was more accurate to how I interpret him. (I dunno if I would have gone as far as to give him triangular eyes, but one of my biggest takeaways from this project has been that I should have just allowed this to be "my take" on the character instead of trying to be "accurate," meeting in the middle, and satisfying neither condition.)

I don't think I really got across how much I HATED brushing out yarn for the wigs when I posted Kun3h0. It was just such a tedidus process, from brushing it out, to straightening it, to gluing it down. It was such a mess. I'm still finding loose wisps of yarn hair floating around my home since I made them.

Since I had more than had my fill from making Kun3h0's wig, I once again started taking shortcuts when it came to Kliff: I really should have made more wefts for him. I figured since his hair was (compartively) shorter, that I wouldn't need to make as many, but in the end his wig turned out both too thin and too thick.

Since his hair is so messy, I didn't follow any kind of guide for his hair like I did Kun3h0. I basically just glued around the perimeter of the cap, horizontally on the inside, and made sure it would fold over in the front.

Part of the problem is that I made the wefts too thick: instead of just gluing down what could actually touch the surface of the work area, I wound up gluing layers on top of each other, so the wefts would be like a mm thick when they should have been less than half of that. So, I barely got enough coverage for the scalp, and the parts that I did get down are very thick. I think it makes his head look bigger than it should which kinda adds to the uncanniness of him.

I did try to style it as close to canon as possible, but there are some things that just aren't (easily) possible in certain mediums, and Kliff's wild hair is one of them.

In retrospect, I probably should have just sculpted his hair with clay or something: it probably would have been more accurate, but I don't have much confidence in my sculpting ability, and again, I didn't want to modify the doll that much, so I stuck with the yarn.

I might suck it up and try and make him a new wig, I still have a LOT of red yarn left over, so maybe I can make him some new styles too. But the tedium of going through with it makes it very unlikely that I'll follow through~

(The wig from other angles.)

Since the beard is made from the same yarn, I'll lightly talk about that. There aren't too many resources about bearded dolls, but I've seen people root it, glue it, and even just paint it if they weren't supposed to be thick. In the end I used this repaint for reference (suggestive content warning) and glued it on.

The scarf covers most of it, but I think it turned out okay. I need to add just a *little* more to his left cheek, but otherwise I feel like I was successful.

Next, it's usually hidden due to all the crap that's on his head, but I did give him an earring.

I didn't think about it until way too late in the process, and I tried to poke a hole through his ear so he could actually wear it. However, when I tried to do so, I almost ruined his head paint a second time. Saying, "fuck that," I decided to just glue it on.

If I had been more brave with modifying this doll, I might have just resculpted his ears entirely, because, being based on a real life human being, the doll's ears don't flare out that much, so they're easily covered by other things.

His glasses are just a piece of painted plastic that hold to his face using some plastic cord. They fit well while his wig is off, but putting them on with everything else is a goddamn nightmare.

Since his ears are so small, and his hair is so short, there's nothing for the glasses to "grab" onto without the cord, but the cord is too short to fit around the wig once it's on, but I can't make the cord longer to sit over the wig, because the glasses need to go over the headband, and it's a pain in the ass trying to layer everything like that.

So, I have to put the glasses in place first, TAPE the cord to his scalp so they don't move, put on the wig, then put on the headband. It's really such a hassle, but I don't think I can truly convey the annoyance of having to do it all without showing you. So, unless I absolutely have to, I'm never taking any of those things off him again.

I think the last things are the headband, mask, and tablet.

The headband is just a spare scrunchy that I have. I don't have one in the *exact* same color as the real one, so I went with the closest one I had, which was this teal color.

I didn't feel comfortable repainting one since it's essentially an elastic band, I don't think the paint, even with the textitle medium, would be able to hold up to all the stretching I have to do to even get it on his head.

If I happen to find a white one somewhere in my stash, then I might try dyeing it using water and acrylic paints to see if I can get it green, but for now, I think this works. A little thick, but it works.

The tablet is just a piece of foam painted with paint markers and the mask is a piece of cardboard. I wasn't planning on really recreating any scenes with this doll, but since I remembered that comic, and thought it would be easy enough to make, I went ahead and made it as an in-joke to myself.

Honestly, I think it's the most charming piece of the entire ensemble. Plus, he can wear it without me having undo/redo any of his other head accessories, so it's easy to make him wear it whenever.

My final comments about the doll itself are that he's fucking huge. I should have taken a pic of him next to Kun3h0, but he is too tall to even fit on my display shelf without sitting.

(Please ignore any mess you might see in the reflection. This is just one of the only flat pieces of furniture he can stand on without me standing on something to take a pic.)

Despite my interests, I don't actually collect dolls (I'm more into figures and plushies), so I wasn't expecting him to be so big. In fact, Kun3h0, who would be considered a small to medium doll in collector's spaces, was also bigger than I thought she'd be, so you can imagine my surprise when I got my hands on him.

So... I don't really know where I can put him. He obviously can't live in front of my TV, but beyond being too big for my shelf, he also doesn't fit in with any of my other collectibles. And I'll be honest, the contrast of him "clearly not belonging" among my more "kawaii" items was a motivator in starting this project, I live for the gap moe after all, but in practice he really just sticks out like a sore thumb. (This is also why his first pics are in a slightly different location without many props. I just couldn't put together anything from my collection or find a spot among my things to take a good thematic pic with. The magazines/CDs he's with are from my dad's collection.)

I do have space at higher elevations in my room, but it's kinda off putting to have him staring down my room, looking like he's plotting something (my space is too small to ignore it). So I dunno what I'm gonna do with him. I did have plans to make him some... cuter outfits so he wouldn't stick out as much, but that requires sewing, and I'm kinda worn out from this project.

In conclusion, despite my troubles with this project, I'm not entirely displeased with the results. At the very least, it was an experience, and one that I might even be willing to do a third time 👀...?

But for now, I'd like to rest and maybe go back to drawing again. I feel like I haven't drawn anything "real" for a while now. We're inching closer and closer to the next follower milestone (4 digit number BA-BY!), so I'd like to at least get back to being good enough to sketch some stuff for y'all soon~

#gbunny makes #gbunny draws #custom doll #doll custom #doll repaint #kliff #nsr #no straight roads #for the record i do find this project thoroughly embarrassing for me #but i can't justify its existence without sharing it. so here it is. #like. i wish i could have been obsessed with somebody else. #anybody else. #well. someone who's socially acceptable to obsess over i guess #but i'm not. i'm obsessed with him so i'm going to make things of him #and they're gonna make me happy #despite the embarrassment #Youtube

[anundyingfidelity]

MEMORIES LOST — Jareth x ofc/fem reader. Ch. 2.

Summary: A mysterious woman falls into the Underground, claiming she does not have memories and not knowing why she is there. Jareth, who's bored and taking slight pity on her, takes her under his wing to ease some of his own misery. Post Labyrinth (1986).

Warnings: nudity, masturbation, voyeurism, manipulation, corruption, smut in general.

Word counter: 866.

Note: female character is named Leah, but no physical characteristics (such as skin color, hair, eyes, etc.) are described on this story. Feel free to imagine how she looks like.

In this chapter: Just Jareth watching (spying) his visitor. Warnings of voyeurism.

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

This fanfiction is also posted in Ao3 under the name undyingfidelity.

Chapter 1. | Chapter 2. | Chapter 3.

The next time Jareth was sure he would not forget about Leah came soon enough. He would not forget her so easily.

The woman was calm and submissive to him, taking in every order and indication the King was giving, either to her or his goblins. She was a fast learner, something Jareth truly appreciated a lot for sure.

Each day that passed in the Castle, was an exciting day of learning new things from the mind of the new mysterious woman doing her way around the place.

A smirk formed on his lips as he looked over Leah through the crystal in his hand. Jareth used to check on her from time to time using the small crystal, and lately it had become more of a daily habit before going to bed. Was it wrong? Maybe. She could do personal things he wasn't supposed to see, but since when Jareth did care about that? He wasn't very fond of moral and good behavior anyway.

Leah was graceful and phisically beautiful, and Jareth liked that. Her appearance and looks complemented the way she would talk to him, like a scared puppy who was barely rescued from a thunder storm, giving all her loyalty and fear only to him, the Goblin King. He really missed the feeling of being feared and respected at the same time.

She was doing excellent by serving and helping around. Jareth even found out she loved working in the Castle when he read his mind some days back. Anything he asked, she did for him without hesitation. He wondered if that could be useful in some other ways.

He was no fool. When he came around, the woman would certainly feel electricity running through her body. A type of energy that was known and uncertain at the same time - something that was trully exciting to her. Leah didn't know why or how, but the Goblin king slowly created this type of masculine and strong energy around her whenever he entered the room, and she grew up to admit to herself she actually liked it.

That night, Jareth observed the woman around her bedroom, taking her dresses and clean clothes to the wooden closet. Once she finished and organized the place, Leah started to undress in front of the full lenght mirror. She took off the straps of her dress slowly, loosing herself in the reflection of her own body, barely recognizing her own reflection.

Leah wondered what had happened before she fell to the Underground. How her life would have been without her being under the orders and the hands of the Goblin king. She didn't remember a single thing... yet. And Jareth found himself again looking after the woman, trying to get back any memory on her mind. But she did not remember any single thing, as in countless of times she tried before in front of the same mirror before going to bed, and repeat the same routine the next day.

She asked herself if Jareth was guilty of her being trapped in the Goblin city. And her thought made him smirk.

It wasn't part of his plans, but there she was. Questioning her own existence in front of the mirror, half naked, with a hand carresing the skin of her neck and her breasts delicately with one word in mind: Jareth.

Her hand found that sweet, prohibited and slightly wet place between her legs. She didn't remember feeling something like this before, but the sting and excitement felt like the first time Jareth laid his hand on her cheek.

The Goblin king became amazed with the girl, touching herself and discovering her own body on what it looked it was the first time - at least that she was aware of. Jareth read her thoughts, finding out he was the reason of her arousal. The simple thought of him creating that sweet sensation on Leah sent him over the edge. He was ridiculously proud and immediately inflated his ego - and his pants at the same time. But he was also bothered knowing he was only able to see her through a miserable crystal.

Sweat ran down her body as she, gently, worked two of her fingers between her legs. Leah tried to hold back her moans, but small whimpers escaped her lips even if she tried to stop them. Her fingers transitioned their slow and delicate motion to a rather fast one, and a weird, explosive sensation built down her stomach, until it felt like she was almost touching the sky.

Jareth noticed she was close. It filled him with excitement and anticipation. He wanted to keep her face coming down from her high on his mind forever. The way she tried to catch her breath and how she bit her lip while her body trembled was certainly a heavenly view. And again, he felt his dick extremely hard on his tight pants, and disappointed for not being there and give her what he knew she deserved.

"One day, little dove. One day," he mumbled to himself, still looking at Leah through the crystal, coming from her high. "Soon you will give in to me, in body, mind and soul."

#jareth fanfiction #jareth labyrinth #jareth the goblin king #jareth x reader #jareth x oc #jareth x ofc #jareth x female reader #jareth smut #jareth #labyrinth fanfic #labyrinth #david bowie fanfiction #david bowie #david bowie x reader #david bowie x oc #labyrinth 1986 #jareth imagine #jareth imagines

[rosaline-black]

hiiii I hope you’re doing well 🫶🏻 I saw your post about hotch requests and was wondering if you could write something where he reassures reader she is enough just as she is when she’s having a depressive episode and struggling? a little angst and a lot of fluff? thank you 🥰🥰

Okay here are some warnings since this is a bit heavy. If you suffer with depression and are triggered by talks of depression and low mood skip this one. I used a lot of my own experience in this so hopefully it’s semi relatable. Here is the uk Samaritans number in case you’re struggling. 116 123. I love you and I promise you. You are enough <3

It had been three days. Three days of not leaving your house, or your bedroom. Every step you took to fetch food or use the bathroom felt like walking to the gallows.

People often thought of depression as just being a little sad. You disagreed. It felt like the titanic was sinking in your chest, it felt like the world was ending and you were the reason. Hopeless. And the thing that made it worse was the anxiety. They danced together like a couple in an extremely toxic and abusive tango that felt like it would never end.

Working as an FBI agent meant that usually you were occupied. Your anxieties worked to motivate you into catching whatever despicable human was committing the atrocities you were so used to investigating. But non optional holiday was a bitch, and your boss, who had assumed was doing you a favour had unknowingly signed you up for a week of obsessive suffering.

Hotch was fond of you. More then fond actually but you didn’t know that yet. So fond in fact that he had texted you three days in a row. They were just small updates, little quips about each day the team were on a case. But every single one felt like the sun shining on your soul through the cracks in your window.

Morgan tripped walking towards the crime scene, I thought you’d enjoy the mental image.

We’re closer to catching this guy, Dave has said he’s buying the first round when we’re done.

Hope you’re enjoying your time off. The unsub is in custody and we’re about to board the jet.

You turned over in bed. It had been a while since that last text came through and you were yet to reply to any of them. This wasn’t uncommon for you, admittedly you were a lazy texter but this time the laziness had morphed into numbness. The complete absence of care for really anything.

At first you’d thought you had imagined it. Maybe your mind so devoid of stimulation had mocked up the noise of your doorbell ringing. As if anybody cared enough anyway. Then it rang again. Had you ordered food and forgotten? Had a package on the way?

Mustering every ounce of energy remaining in your body you hauled yourself to your feet and stomped towards your door. If the delivery man saw your stained t shirt and knotted hair, that was his issue, cause you didn’t care enough to check the mirror before unlocking your door.

Sadly, it wasn’t a delivery driver, nor an Amazon employee. It was the man who gave you this week off. If you weren’t so self conscious over your appearance you would of noticed how scared Hotch looked.

Truthfully he had been terrified. No sarcastic replies, no joyful emojis. Nothing. His first thought had selfishly gone to one of resentment. You were probably away with a boyfriend for the weekend, spending your week falling hopelessly in love with someone who wasn’t him.

But then a second text was sent, and a second day went by and he still heard nothing. By the third day hotch had convinced himself something truly awful had happened. Which technically it had, but not in the way he’d envisioned it.

Even in this state he found you enchanting, but he was no fool. You weren’t suffering at the hands of a kidnapper like the images his concerned mind had formed. You were suffering at the hands of your mind which had so cruelly betrayed you.

“Hotch I’m preoccupied at the moment so-“

His arms felt like the cosiest pillow wrapping themselves around you. This was highly inappropriate but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. This was the most alive you had felt in days and before you could question yourself, the previous numbness melted away into a pool of emotions.

Aaron stroked your hair and his murmurs of ‘im here honey’ only enabled your sobbing to increase. You were coaxed onto the sofa and as much as you didn’t want hotch to let you go, you allowed him to. His dark eyes found yours and you looked down shamefully.

Two fingers hooked under your chin and pulled you to look up at him again. He looked imposing but kind. No pity just worry. That was more reassuring then he would ever know.

“You don’t have to tell me what you’re thinking about… or… or what’s caused you to feel this way, if anything at all but… If you don’t mind I’d like to stay and look after you…”

With a nod you resigned to his care. Without a moment to even comprehend what was happening, hotch had fetched you a large glass of water, turned on the television and passed you the remote before grabbing a takeout menu and scanning it.

“You like Chinese food… I’ll order us dinner…”

“Hotch you really don’t need to do this-“

“No… but I want to… don’t make me order you into letting me take care of you agent…”

You feigned annoyance but the slight smidge of a smile alerted hotch to the realisation that his presence wasn’t completely unwanted. Jack was in bed at Jessica’s. You were his responsibility now.

Once the food had arrived Hotch tried his best to sit as normally as possible. He was good at faking comfortability. But you were an FBI profiler. In between bites of special fried rice you decided to relieve him of the questions you had assumed were plaguing his brain.

“I hate time off because when I come home… there’s no greater reason for me to wake up and brush my teeth… there’s no lives at risk if I decide I just can’t be bothered to complete simple tasks… there’s so much… time” you huffed a bitter chuckle and shook your head.

Normally when you’d confess this to other people, explaining that you didn’t have a reason why you felt this way you just did, that would dig further and attempt to reason with you. Or they would try and force you to get up, take you to coffee and just enhance the feeling of despair as you passed happy strangers.

Aaron said nothing. The perfect amount of nothing where you knew he understood what you were saying. You knew he didn’t judge the fact that you hadn’t showered in three days. He just knew.

“Thank you Hotch…”

“I just wiped snot from your nose I think you can call me Aaron now…”

He took your laughter as a good sign.

#aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #Aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x you #hotch x reader #hotch #criminal minds

[ryuichirou]

TWST x Horror game setting

comedydoctor18 asked:

Who do you think of the twisted wonderland crew would survive a horror game (or love them a bit too much for everyone's liking) and who would be screaming in terror?

It’s such a good question, I am very sorry it took me so long to write this one. I keep coming back to this ask and smiling at it, it’s so right up our alley…

Also, as you read this, you might say "but Ryu, I meant it as if they sit down and play the game, not they as if they are inside the game", and yes, I kind of got confused there, so please bear with me. I will write a proper list for your actual question later, but for now please accept this slightly off interpretation of it.

I think what I ended up writing is in a way similar to the HC list about the cast getting kidnapped, but the specifics are quite different, so I hope this is going to be a somewhat fun read.

Also, the default state for all of them is “going through some kind of semi-abandoned place with enemies running around”  and doing it solo, simply because otherwise the post would be too huge and take ages to write lol

Sooo.

Riddle would be terrified and pissed off at first, because this is his reaction to any type of intense confusion, but when he finds a place to hide and starts thinking about the situation, he’ll manage to calm himself down somewhat (he’ll still tremble a lot) and plan how to play it smart. If he’s lucky, he’ll survive the game, but he might also start to use his magic too much, overblot and kill all the enemies at once lol

Ace is kind of reckless but he is a fast learner, plus his self-preservation would kick-in. He makes stupid mistakes, but he learns from them. Still, he would have a lot of moments of “wow I almost died just now”. He’ll get scared, but at some point this feeling would shift into frustration and anger, similarly to Riddle. He would still prefer to be stealthy and smart though… as much as he can, of course.

Deuce is surprisingly good at handling monsters. He prefers to kick the shit out of them, because hiding requires more thinking, and it’s very difficult for him to think when he is scared. And he would be super scared, his brain would probably shut off completely at some point, especially if he is all alone. Of course, it’s always better to have someone by your side, but I feel like Deuce would be affected by being alone the most when it comes to his mental state.

Trey though, ironically, has better chances of survival if he is doing it alone. Maybe because if he is alone, he doesn’t have to hold back or to think about making sure the others are safe and well. He has this vibe of a horror game protagonist, who is just a guy with glasses, but somehow is capable of running for an entire day, fighting monsters with some piece of metal he’d found somewhere and healing himself with drinking dubious potions lol

Cater would be super scared, but ironically I think he would have a bigger reaction if he had someone around than if he was alone. He would also his clones to confuse the enemies and try to be as stealthy as possible: he doesn’t want to fight anyone, he just wants to get out of here. It would probably take some time for him to calm down and focus, and if he sees someone, he would cling to them instantly.

Leona is supposed to be a smart and strong guy, but I still think he would fuck up somehow in a very stupid way; but then again, he would also probably spend a couple of days just sleeping somewhere, maybe thinking about the plan, maybe just conserving energy. He has good chances against the enemies, but he doesn’t want to fight them if they’re just going to keep spawning again and again.

Ruggie is a champion of surviving, he is stealthy and resourceful, so he would probably plan ahead and end up having a lot of first aid kids, food, ammo, anything that could be helpful. He won’t use all of this himself of course, but he’ll sure as hell trade if there is someone stronger than him running around… In general, Ruggie has good chances, and he isn’t scared because he doesn’t allow himself to be: he has to act smart and be quick about it.

Jack is super bad at hiding lol his floofy tail is very obvious. So he would go Deuce’s route: fighting everything he sees and trying to kick and bite his way out of the situation. His main downfall is that he is a softie, so if he sees or hears someone who needs help, he’ll prioritise them over his own life. He would be scared, but similarly to Ruggie, he wouldn’t allow himself to be, albeit for a different reason.

Azul is a scheming motherfucker. He is that one shady guy who offers to form an alliance because “we’re stuck here together, right, so why don’t we work together?”. He is also that one guy who backstabs you immediately when you’re no longer needed. He is smart, stealthy, resourceful and super careful, so he has good chances even when he is alone, but mentally he wouldn’t be okay at all: he hates being out of his element and being surrounded by nothing but unpredictable violence. He is surprisingly strong when it comes to physical combat, but also painfully slow… His perfect plan would be to find someone who is physically strong to carry him around and do all the hard work lol like in the Beanfest.

Jade and Floyd are difficult, because in our heads they are just the twins from Outlast…. They are so horror game monster coded for us that it’s difficult to picture them on the other side of the situation. I feel like they would want to join the chaos and have as much fun with it as possible. Of course, they are concerned over their own safety, so he’ll take care of themselves first and foremost, but the moment they feel more comfortable, it’s the Purge, baby. They’ll completely alter the course of events and make sure the game (there isn’t any game, you sick fucks, we’re just trying to survive out here!) lasts as long as they want it to last.

Kalim wouldn’t survive if he is all alone in this lol is what I was going to say, but Kalim has this weird Kalim luck, so he is probably going to survive SOMEHOW. Like he would hide in a bunker and then a huge bang is going to destroy the entire map. It’s almost comedic. Kalim is going to be very scared the entire time though, and also think about Jamil all the time. He’ll try to think what Jamil would have wanted him to do, and the thought of Jamil maybe being out there and needing his help would motivate him to leave his hiding spot and go looking for him… which isn’t the smartest decision, but then again –Kalim’s luck.

Jamil has good chances, but he really needs to use someone as a shield. For the majority of time he’ll hide and avoid combat as much as possible; in the perfect scenario he wouldn’t face any of the enemies at all. But he has the opposite of Kalim’s luck, so he’ll have a very hard time. I can even picture him having a mental breakdown when the enemy catches him, like the laughing-crying type of breakdown, but he has to go through a lot for that to happen.

Vil has very good chances of survival. We’ve seen him during the Beanfest – he is very good at figuring out where to hide, when to attack and how to fight. Plus, he’s physically strong and has good stamina. He would still get scared, but wouldn’t show it much aside from his hands trembling. He’ll also get super messy because he just has to, I want to see him bloody and dirty lol Ironically, his demise would probably be him trying to help someone. I just really like this as a twist… Especially if there was no one to save (no one to appreciate his heroic act) and it was just a trap. He’s perfect for stuff like Dead by Daylight.

Rook – let’s be honest here, this man would survive any type of horror. It’s not like it’s impossible to scare him, but it’s pretty difficult. He is mostly worried about his loved ones than scared for his own safety. This is Rook we’re talking about: Slenderman is scared to see him when he turns around.

Epel is that one virgin that miraculously survived all of this. It’s not going to be easy, it’ll be messy and he’ll get hurt a lot of times. He’ll give up every two hours or so, but then get angry and somehow persevere. His Unique Magic is going to be pretty helpful, but it takes too much energy, and Epel is already weakened and very very scared. But then again, he’ll even get to directly punch a bad guy! And maybe bite them…

Idia is that nerd who knows all the tropes, so on the one hand, he knows that he is probably immune because he is a virgin, but then again, he is that nerd who knows everything, so his chances of dying are pretty high. He’ll give up on his life pretty quickly, though after thinking about how his own thought process is: this is real life, not a videogame or a movie, so of course he’s going to die in about 10 minutes. But when a really dangerous moment happens, he’s going to surprisingly feel such strong desire to survive that he’ll run away successfully… He is fast when he’s running away from someone lol And he is probably good at hiding, plus tries to play it smart. I think he has some chances of survival, but they aren’t very high, if he is all alone by himself.

Ortho wouldn’t die, he would be excited about this experience lol But he would definitely be worried about Idia, so instead of surviving, his goal is going to be finding Idia and making sure he is okay.  If he can’t find him though, he could get very distressed, and then it’s game over for all the monsters and any other fools who are currently trying to survive :(

Lilia wouldn’t have many problems, a lot of times he would have this “heh, I’ve seen worse” type of vibe. I would say that the only thing that’s going to slow him down is that his experience is pretty dated + he is much older now that he used to be, but is this really an issue if he knows modern media quite well and probably is familiar with a lot of horror tropes? So yeah, peepaw isn’t scared at all.

Silver’s sudden sleepy time would sabotage him a couple of times, but in general he is very good both with his combat and survival skills. But he is similar to Jack in terms of wanting to help if he feels like there are other people (or animals) in danger. In a way, he is even worse about it than Jack, because he is very self-sacrificing.

Sebek has good chances of surviving, but he has his problems… First of all, he would be very angry, partially to cover the fact that he is a bit scared: stealth isn’t his stronger suit, but he compensates it with his brute force and combat skills. But then again, he is both angry and a bit scared, so he always jumps to fight even when he is supposed to run away or hide.

Malleus is too overpowered to have any issues with any type of horror game I think lol He wouldn’t be scared, maybe surprised and annoyed? We have to nerf that man somehow lol But anything that isn’t amusing to him would end up being burnt to a crisp by him.

#replies #headcanons

[a-d-nox]

Hey nox! Can you make a post on your stance about retrograde planets?

Love your posts 💕

planetary and asteroidal retrogrades

thank you for the compliment!! sure thing, let’s talk about it! and since we reached 100 posts last night, let’s celebrate with this long post!

retrograde is when an object appears to move backward or appears smaller when in reality, it is doing what it always does. the keyword is appears - during a retrograde or having natal retrogrades means that your perception in the area said planet or asteroid is located is altered in comparison to how it would be normally or in comparison to others. anything that is retrograded in your chart can indirectly affect you OR the aspect of the planet or asteroid takes longer to develop. in my aphrodite signs, degrees, houses, and aspects post i presented retrograde as though the effects everyone is about to read are slower to develop than those who have a direct asteroid - this post will be a breakdown similar to that post, reflecting on the planets and five common asteroid i see retrograded in a chart and advice for each retrograde.

feel free to use the following to analyze your natal chart, solar returns, or as a survival guide during retrograde periods! USE THIS AS MOMENTARY FOR TRANSITS AND LONG-TERM WHEN PRESENT IN YOUR NATAL CHART. if you have a retrograde in your chart, i have noticed that when that retrograde is in effect, life seems easier.

MERCURY: retrograde occurs three or four times a year for around three weeks.

i believe that if MERCURY is retrograde, people have a slower manner of speaking or i always find that they need speed to be faster (2x on youtube videos type vibes). this is a time in which people may write slower. they likely have a harder time in school or learning something new, they may be the least likely to change things when they have found what works for them. they may be forgetful or rather unorganized, these people seem rather nervous to me - you can usually see it in the hands, they may be unsteady, nail bitters, hand talkers, etc. this is all a means to let out extra nervous energy. they may also experience paranoia or social anxiety worrying about what others think and feel towards them. gossip may be a downfall for them or stir up worse situations for them. they may have an issue with profanity as well; it could be the mouth of sailors and truckers OR someone who doesn’t ever say curse words at all and gawks at those that say them.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: deep breathing exercises. creating your own shorthand when writing notes. affirmations (you’re smart, grades aren’t everything, you gave it your best, you tried today and you’ll try tomorrow, you’re safe, etc.). trying one new thing a week - how do you know it’s the only thing that works if it took you this long to find it? couldn’t there be another option as well? try a fidget tool. make to-do lists. don’t comment when provoked or just to do so - think before you say things. evaluate how you go about your life - improve where you can. breathing before you speak; people who curse a lot have a lot of penned up energy, gotta let that out if you are trying to not curse as much (especially if you are trying to do so because of children around you) OR breathe when you hear someone curse and you don't like it - not everyone says, acts, or reacts like you and that’s okay - it’s part of the human experience.

VENUS: retrograde occurs roughly every eighteen months for around a month and a half.

VENUS retrograde people may be late bloomers in terms of love and relationships - that’s perfectly fine. never try to lower your standards just to fit in and reach a milestone. that being said, i find that a lot of venus retrograde people struggle to come to terms with their sexuality and oftentimes clothing is used to shelter it. they may take longer to find a style that works for them. they may not be trusting toward women - it may take time to warm up to them. they could be maximalists or minimalists have no in between. they may not like social functions finding them uncomfortable or anxiety-invoking. they may not feel pretty or graceful very often as well.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: take time away from social media. don’t be afraid to explore sexuality or style at your own pace (remember you are beautiful - it’s scary to try new things but scary doesn’t mean bad, ugly, and/or unworthy). spend time with the women you trust and feel safest with. practice decluttering for the maximalist and practice gifting yourself something you truly want (NOT WHAT YOU NEED lol) for the minimalist. self-care. if you have to go to a social event, give yourself a time marker. ex: just for one hour, when dinner is over, etc OR tell yourself you have to say hi to ___ before you can leave or set a number of people you want to say hello before dipping. AFFIRMATIONS (you are kind, you are beautiful, you have lovely hair, etc.).

MARS: retrograde occurs roughly every two years for around two to three months.

MARS retrograde people are people that not as assertive as the rest of those around them. it’s usually because they have low energy, they easily get tired of trying to assert themselves or make others hear them. they may be quick to anger and have a hard time reallocating that anger into doing something productive. it’s hard for them to turn strong emotion into a passion. these people may also have an issue with blood - heavy periods, irregular periods, fear of blood, anemia, etc. they also may be uncomfortable around masculine energy. they are likely not impulsive rather they stick to what they know. i feel like MARS retrograde people are always collecting injuries - it doesn’t matter what they are doing. opening the mail? paper cut. working on the computer? tennis elbow or carpal tunnel. out for a walk? they fell or have some type of foot problem now. there could be struggles with independence or leadership (i feel like pissing competitions are most common in mars retrogrades)…

my advice for surviving this retrograde: brainstorm everything you want to say to assert yourself and pick the best option. sleep, relax - a few “lazy” days never killed anyone OR have a lowkey day a walk instead of a run, meal prep. or do something that will help you out for when tiredness kicks in again. if people don’t get what you are trying to tell them or telling you "no" when it's a good idea and you know it is going to work - stop trying to assert yourself and just do it (sheila buff is quaking). but no seriously it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission as they say. try yoga, swimming, or walking to release excess energy! brainstorming random ideas - journals are your friends - track your mood, keep a dream log, and write down good ideas you have (you can always return to these ideas when you get the energy to do stuff again). if you have issues with blood you are not alone - i hate getting blood drawn (my recent trip to the ER, i needed an IV and the guy was like "scared? don't worry, i don’t like needles either THATS WHY I DON'T LOOK WHEN I PUT THEM IN" AND I WAS BRUH STOP IT. but we did a count and I didn't look at my arm the rest of the day lol. so find what works for you: counting and not looking works for me. I don't care if they say my blood pressure is high from the anxiety lol. you aren’t alone in period issues either - talk with your doctors! MARS retrograde may not be the best of times for asserting yourself with doctors (unless you are a MARS retrograde native) BUT perhaps it's a great time to look into symptoms yourself! you know your symptoms best! if you tell a doctor and they refuse to test you or tell you "your symptoms can’t be that bad," THEY ARE GASLIGHTING YOU! find a new doctor - your feelings are valid - if you say the pain or the symptoms aren’t normal then your are right! it’s okay to not like or feel uncomfortable around masculine energy - stick to the masculines you trust or hang out with feminines! try something new each week. for the love of the gods PLEASE AVOID ANYTHING THAT MAY RESULT IN AN ER VISIT: no bungee jumping for the first time, tubing, hand gliding, etc. practice patience; people will always be at your throat with this retrograde, just breathe and smile all the while calling them an asshole in your head :).

JUPITER: retrograde occurs roughly every year for around four months.

feeling unlucky? i feel like that’s a common trend for JUPITER retrograde people. there is often a struggle with optimism - these people are realists or pessimists by nature. they may also struggle with growing up - this could be related to separating from parents, getting a job, leaving a home town, or even going away for school… expanding from these pre-existing notions tends to be hard on them. it may even be a struggle to start dating - they may be late to the dating realm or getting into a relationship compared to those around them. this retrograde can show a person who is either super devote or an atheist. they are less likely to "pay it forward" to others - it may be due to past experiences, “no good deed goes unpunished.” their judgment may be either too realistic or too impractical. they may be a glutton or on the other extreme end someone who believes they didn't do enough to deserve a prize.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: be proactive - sometimes having a ritual helps. it may sound crazy but doing something like a cleanse, a cinnamon ritual, a simmer pot, a tarot reading, etc. every first of the month may help change your mindset from pessimistic to optimistic. growing up is rough but hey we all do it and time waits for no human - walk before the universe shoves you along unwillingly. change is good. i’m not gonna lie to you dating sucks… people are weird. my only advice is not to take things so seriously, if you are looking for romance :/ get a book - it’s definitely not perfect day one of any dating scene. if you are dating then everyone is allowed to date other people including you - when you are exclusive is when ya’ll shouldn’t be talking to other people. don’t assume exclusivity on day one, its 2022 lol. and definitely don't rush into a relationship to catch up to those around you - it’s not a competition. religion is great don’t shit on others for not sharing your beliefs or lack thereof though. pay it forward is good vibe energy - every day is a new day, don’t think that others wouldn't do the same for you OR you’ll pay for it later - embrace the positive and move forward. practice active listening to others - you may be a realist while some one else is a dreamer, a healthy balance is somewhere in between. treat yourself to something healthy - something you’ve wanted to try OR for the glutton, look around in an area you haven’t been recently in a closet or a cabinet is a favorite you have long forgotten, rediscover the joy you felt when you find it again for the first time. number a list of things you want to do (all in your price range and capabilities) use a random number generator and go do what it lands on. take the scenic route or a different route home than you normally do. play a card game.

SATURN: retrograde occurs roughly every year for around four to five months.

SATURN retrograde people likely had to grow up very quickly - during this retrograde you may need to be more mature. they are likely always early or always late. there are likely a lot of self-restrictions - this could be due to a lack of self-approval. they may feel as though they too experienced a lot of unluckiness similar to JUPITER retrograde. they may experience a lot of delays - usually self-provoked, they may hold themselves back in the area where this planet transits or sits in their chart due to a fear of failure or generalized fears/anxieties. they may receive a lot of bruising and other injuries, especially broken bones. they may be haunted by their past. they may experience sickness: chronic or acute - most common is depression (which may cause a lot of isolation from others) and frequent common colds. this is likely to cause a lot of frustration with themselves due to a hatred of being limited. they may have a lot of responsibilities and work hard to reach their high expectations. in philosophical states, their views may be more conservative wanting the harshest justice to be served. and last but not least, fatherly turmoil - it is highly likely there are a lot of issues surrounding a relationship between this person and their father.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: revisit childhood in a safe environment like therapy or a shadow-work journal. do something that you have wanted to do since childhood. show up somewhere late for the early bird and show up somewhere early for the late comer. buy yourself something you’ve been wanting but have been saying you’ll wait until something big happens. take a leap of faith. rest and care for yourself - have a lot of downtime, eat well, and do low-intensity exercise. know that there is no time like the present to start taking care of yourself - limitation now is not limitation life long. people who don’t take care of themselves when they feel bad only drain themselves more in the long run - take care of yourself! it’s not terrible to not reach all of your goals in a day. make three goals a day - no more, no less and certainly not something you can’t complete in a day (like buy a house, see the world, etc. it has to be manageable!). be reasonable with your views - it’s okay if others do not agree with you. life would be boring if we all had the same thoughts and beliefs.

NEPTUNE: retrograde occurs roughly every year for around five months.

NEPTUNE retrograde people typically struggle with their thoughts - during this retrograde you may feel like you can’t think straight or that you are more critical of yourself. these people frequently struggle with spirituality - not knowing what to trust or if it’s a good idea to be all in with a group mentality when it comes to following faith. these people typically have a different taste in music compared to everyone else - they may only listen to jazz or classical or something rather underground OR their taste in music doesn’t appear to match them at all. they may feel creatively blocked or like they only have creativity to help them express themselves. they may daydream or use substances frequently to help escape from their reality. they may lack intuition or have an intuition that others do not believe in. they may be incredible with makeup and use it to become a “different person” or have a strong dislike towards makeup. they may have very odd dreams or feel as though they are incapable of dreaming (not true, everyone dreams but not everyone can remember what they dreamed). these people may have a hated or fear of swimming due to past experiences where they nearly drowned or did drown. they may have a story attached to them about being completely incoherent - ODs, drowning, coma, concussion, anaphylactic shock, etc.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: write down your thoughts and analyze during this retrograde, if it’s natal, OR after the retrograde ends, if it’s transit based. don’t feel as though you are required to be part of a group. listen to new music. make a list of ideas as they arise. scribbling is safer than gazing. if you are using substances please do so in a safe environment or write down what, when, and where from you are taking this substance on an appendage (this is not me saying that you should, this is me stating be safe if you do - if you believe you may have a problem, reach out and seek advice from others who you feel will not judge you, it may be an outsider and that is okay - i too am here, you are never alone if you need guidance when seeking help). be careful with makeup use - you may find that it shocks others and even yourself and can be dangerous for those who struggle with dysmorphia. keep a dream journal. monitor symptoms after injuries and tell others about your allergies!

URANUS: retrograde occurs roughly every year for around five months.

URANUS retrograde people typically struggle with their originality - during this retrograde you may feel as though you are stuck in a rut when it comes to your life and how it looks. naives may feel as though they lack freedom or have too much of it and feel rather alone and that no one cares for them in this world. they may not feel like they are capable of standing up to others. they may have deep and rather harsh thoughts about humanity. they may be prone to accidents yet preserving like surviving a devastating storm that left others harmed, dead, or stranded, they may experience electrocution (extreme ex (and the first person i thought of while rereading my post before posting it): Ted Bundy has a natal URANUS retrograde and was sentenced to death via electric chart), etc. they likely feel apart from the world - whether by choice or otherwise is the question. these people are often estranged from select people in their life - a father, a mother, grandparents, a whole side of the family, etc. they may experience unexpected and chaotic things happening around them. these things often disrupt their day-to-day life: natural disasters, divorces, health woes, etc.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: try something new and different from your norm. travel, eat something you’ve never tried before, pick a new aesthetic, change up your look! go somewhere new - get away from your routine. reach out to someone you’ve not spoken to in a while. stand up for yourself even if it’s “i don’t appreciate that” you owe no one an explanation. and if they start talking back to you - tell them “my feelings are valid. i recognize that you disagree. we can talk at a later time.” and walk away - anything that happens after that statement is not your fault. you are okay and you spoke your mind and that is something to be proud of! be careful about who you share your views with. don’t give up on finding your people - they are out there! it takes time. if someone abandons you: IT IS NOT AND HAS NEVER BEEN YOUR FAULT. you guys can (could’ve) fix (fixed) things if they stay, you guys can’t fix things if they aren’t there. THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT - THEM LEAVING IS NOT YOUR FAULT. on the flip side, it is okay to leave those who you feel don’t make you a better person, who harm you, or alienate you! you deserve more! prepare for anything! prep a go-bag for your car, always have a week's worth of food in case of an emergency, meal prep, check your expiration dates on medications you need to live, buy a generator, make sure you have a list of emergency contacts, pay attention to the weather, make sure you have gas in your car and air in your tires, TAKE CARE OF ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH YOU BEING STRANDED OR COULD LEAVE YOU STRANDED! take survival course or read a book of wildness survival.

PLUTO: retrograde occurs roughly every year for around five to six months.

PLUTO retrograde people may experience a lot or very minimal death and change in their life - during this retrograde you may experience a death or life-changing event. these people may be extremely sexual beings or not sexual at all. they are likely not the most willing to eliminate the things in their life that are no longer the best for them. they may lack a lot of motivation compared to others. they may not let others get close to them due to not feeling safe or not feeling secure enough to expose themselves. they may be extremely ruthless or lack a spine when it comes to asserting themselves. they may have issues with people with power as well. they can be easily provoked. power to them may be or look like something to be destroyed or something that is too over the top, like a dictatorship.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: as a pluto dominant person, i can tell you, change is natural as is death - both are scary but in time things regulate and become still again. take advantage of resources like therapy to help cope and also downtime. people who are in mourning or are always on the go with change in life forget to stand still and breathe! it’s okay to take a break and rest! get STD/STI testing. do a juice cleanse and take your ACV and cranberry pills. make sure you are being safe. cleanse your space, declutter, and go through old contacts/following list it is time to remove the things that no longer serve you. clean out the closets, following lists, the memory bin, photos, and detox from all that stuff you’ve been dragging along! it’s okay to let go - if a lot of feelings arise ask yourself: is this a positive feeling (keep) or a negative feeling (next question)? is this a thing i would like to fix and have the ability to do so (keep) or something that can’t be fixed (get rid of) or i can’t fix it myself (take it somewhere to be fixed or contact who you need to fix things with)? after talking with the person who i needed to fix things with or getting the object mended - do i feel like this object/relationship was worth the time and energy expending? if yes, keep and continue to use the object or talk with the person as you get used to them being in your life again. do a weekly check-in with yourself to ensure you are still happy with your decision. if not get rid of the object OR block and delete the contact! we do have time for energy vampires around here! this is a great time to take your time - think through things! tell someone about something you haven’t told anyone about. be careful when asserting yourself or take a note from the URANUS retrograde handbook: “stand up for yourself even if it’s “i don’t appreciate that” you owe no one an explanation. and if they start talking back to you - tell them “my feelings are valid. i recognize that you disagree. we can talk at a later time.” and walk away - anything that happens after that statement is not your fault you are okay and you spoke your mind and that is something to be proud of!” go on a yoni or phalanx retreat. power structures will always exist try to evaluate the good and the bad of the one you exist in. if you see more bad than good perhaps it’s time for a big change! look into other places with other power structures and investigate/plan how you can make your life happen there!

popular asteroids that i often see retrograded:

aphrodite (asteroid 1388)

aphrodite retrograde people may experience extremes like stalkers or not being adored by others at all. they may feel unseen and unappreciated by others, making it extremely difficult to appreciate themselves. they may experience a lot of drama with none of the other perks that aphrodite herself gained (attention, romance, etc.). they may not be the most jealous person but rather the person who is too insecure to be jealous - people who say “i knew it was too good to be true” or simply walk away because there is no reason to fight for what they want anyway.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: avoid social media. self-care and self-love exercises - because you can really only ever count on yourself to show and give yourself what you deserve. when you do something you appreciate, smile and acknowledge you did that! buy yourself a gift. try to remove yourself from drama, you won't be letting anyone down by doing so. affirmations. let someone know when something hurts your feelings or bothers you - don’t just walk away or brush it off. if it bothers you and they care about you, then it should bother them as well.

chiron (asteroid 2060)

chiron retrograde people may not realize they are suffering until it is too late. they carry the bulk of all burdens without realizing that they have become someone’s personal mule. they may feel as though no one sees their skills or appreciates their talents. their empathy and gestures of nurture get overlooked because it is "just a given that they are that way" - meaning they are likely surrounded by people who use them. they likely feel as though no one is there when they need someone.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: daily check-ins. evaluate relationships with others: distance yourself from those using you. appreciate a job well done by you! someone’s gotta acknowledge it, right? self-care when you feel you need someone and no one is there: watch a comedy movie BUT if it life-threatening, please call or text a hotline like 988! you matter.

eris (asteroid 136199)

eris retrograde people may unknowingly cause trouble by doing something they thought would be overlooked. they may not like confronting others because it feels uncomfortable or they feel attacked whenever they speak up for an injustice they faced - they may experience a lot of gaslighting. they may hate rivalries with others. they may feel as though they are alone even when surrounded by others.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: tread lightly, as they say, eris retrograde is like walking on thin ice. you may be doing nothing wrong yet everyone is sensitive to your actions, if not, simply your presence. know that i have yet to meet someone who does not have eris in aries and retrograde - it’s a very slow-moving asteroid. thus nearly everyone around the world feels the same way.

hermes (asteroid 69230)

hermes retrograde people may be surrounded by a lot of mischievous people and tend to take the fall for others' wrongdoings. they may feel as though the pace of their life is uncomfortable for them. these people tend to be good but get a bad wrap (kind of like eddie munson from stranger things). they may experience fertility issues. they may not be the best at balancing their life and managing their time. they may have travel-related fears (fear of flying, fear of water, fear of car accidents, etc.) due to past accidents or incidents they have experienced.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: if you are hanging around a bad group stay away from them. if it is something illegal (*group* related) and you find you can’t just leave please reach out, other resources exist in the system. i get that the word "system" may be daunting but it’s better to get out alive or with a minimal sentence and a say in your sentence than to be stuck and face a longer trial and sentence. please read the MERCURY section as well because MERCURY is the roman aspect of hermes. fertility is a problem for more people than you think but we are blessed to live in a world where there are options: adoption, fostering, surrogacy, IVF, etc. get a planner and set a date to prepare for the week ahead. exposure therapy.

vesta (asteroid 4)

vesta retrograde people feel like they lack a cause to be motivated by or feel they belong to. they may feel like everyone else or as though they try their best to fit in with others and met the milestones society sets. they may not be devoted to others after the others do something extremely kind to them. they may not be an acts of service type of person - their love language is likely not one that promotes much giving. they may despise domestic life and homestead upkeep. they may not have a solid definition of pure or have a skewed opinion of pure, holding everyone to a high standard of pure or none at all.

my advice for surviving this retrograde: don’t be too hard on yourself - everything exists on a continuum, you don’t need a big cause to feel like you have something worth to believe in and feel motivated by. you exist on your own timeline, there is no pressuring you into anything, if someone is truly are your friend they won't and shouldn't be pressuring you. say "thank you" or smile at the person who does something helpful or kind for you. please do not be too harsh with others - your expectations of those you know or barely know need to be in check; too high and you’ll have fear, hatred, or dislike, too low and you’ll have chaos, disrespect, or disappoint towards others.

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my “suggest a post topic” button if you want to see a specific post or mythical asteroid next! let me know if you’d like me to go over any of the asteroids i have already covered, in terms of their retrograde, so i know that you’re interested in a part 2!

click here for the masterlist

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

© a-d-nox 2022 all rights reserved

#astrology #asteroid astrology #astro community #asteroid #astro chart #natal chart #persona chart #astro placements #solar return #transit chart #retrograde season #mercury retrograde #venus retrograde #mars retrograde #saturn retrograde #jupiter retrograde #neptune retrograde #uranus retrograde #pluto retrograde #chiron retrograde #aphrodite retrograde #eris retrograde #hermes retrograde #vesta retrograde #asteroid2060 #asteroid1388 #asteroid69230 #asteroid136199 #asteroid4