#This is ur fault to begin with Price

[saturncodedstarlette]

Captain Price, after learnt that they teamed up with Makarov :

Captain Price, bleeding out on the ground after being defeated :

Captain Price : ……This is generally the part where people apologise.

Y/N, came out victorious :

Y/N, look down at him : I know.

Captain Price, looks at them in the eyes : Then why haven’t you said anything?

Y/N, face devoid of any emotions : Because I’m not sorry.

#Cod #Call of duty #Call of duty incorrect quotes #Call of duty x reader #Cod Captain Price #Captain Price #John Price #Captain John Price #Captain Price x male reader #Captain Price x fem reader #Captain Price x gn reader #John Price x reader #John Price x you #John Price x oc #Original : write-it-motherfuckers #original : tumblr #Y/N’s Villain Era #This is ur fault to begin with Price #Karma hurts innit? #Cod Makarov #my works

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

i absolutely fell in LOVE with your price fic holy shit. your writing is spectacular. then i read your request info and saw that you love keegan as well and my soul left my body.

So this is me requesting a keegan x reader fic bc i love this underrated man SO much!! maybe some enemies to lovers where one of them gets injured in the field and, thinking they're dying, a teary desperate confession ensues? lol im not good with prompts i just wanna see my man 🤧 thanks in advance i love ur work

(Don't) Go to War

Pairing: Keegan P. Russ x F!Reader

Synopsis: Some days it became impossible not to lose your tempers with each other. Being enemies was easier than admitting you cared.

Word Count: 12.3k

Warnings: Angst, enemies to lovers, blood & gore, vulgar language, fluff & comfort eventually, suggestive (just a tiny bit)

A/N: Just a few more requests to get done, and then my inbox should be open again. I'm thinking I might do an independent Gaz fic too...but idk yet. Enjoy, Love!

*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*

Some days it became impossible not to yell at him.

“I had the shot, Keegan!” Your voice carries over the hull of C-23 Sherpa, and you didn’t bother to stay strapped into your seat as the aircraft levels out around you. Thrusting your body up, your feet slam to the floor as you stalk over to the silent man who watches you with burning blue eyes, “If you hadn’t gotten in the way the target would be six feet under by now!” 

Your face was twisted with rage, and a need for justice laced your brain like an inextinguishable blaze of fire. 

Keegan and you had a violent streak of not getting along - to the point where Elias was close to separating the two of you permanently. It wasn’t entirely your fault, the man just got on your nerves when he acted like he could boss you around. No Man’s Land was your playground; you knew the trails, where to take shelter when needed, and what towns and backroads to avoid because of Federation occupation. You spent most of your time beyond the walls of Fort Santa Monica just like Keegan and the other Ghosts did – he had no right to lecture you out here. 

He had no right to fuck up the mission.

“Kid,” The man in question warns, his form tense from where it leans against the wall. Around the two of you, the aircraft shakes from turbulence. Keegan’s eyes narrowed to slits, and behind the cloth over his face you see his lips thin dangerously, “I’d be careful what you say next.” 

“Oh, shut the hell up!” You growl. The dirt and blood sticking to your skin makes you want to scratch at yourself with blunt nails; rip away the grime. Stomping up to Keegan you stand directly in front of him, a sneer heavy on your lips. Your body is shaking with adrenaline, “You have no right to tell me that. I worked my ass off getting that intel on Vidal Teo for months just for you to mess up my shot in no less than three seconds. What the fuck?!” 

Keegan’s dead eyes glare from behind the stain of his black eye paint, the custom balaclava shifting as his hidden face moves. Over his arms, his fingers tense and tighten; a pulsing atmosphere begins to perforate the hull. The already strained rope was snapping.

Vidal Teo was a high-ranking commander for the Federation soldiers stationed in a large portion of No Man’s Land. He was instrumental in leading the frontal assault on the Fort – which had been getting steadily worse as the years went on. Vidal was a man marked for death, and your bullet had his name carved into the silver grooves. 

He was yours. 

“I don’t like your tone, Princess,” Keegan hisses down at you, but his intimidation tactics don’t work. He was large, sure, with a gargantuan build that made your shoulders square, but the anger in your blood pumped with vengeance, “I’m in command of the mission, don’t go mixing it around. You listen to me.”

“Not when Teo was right fucking in front of me,” Your head whips to the side, hands clenched as you point a single finger into the man’s chest. The two of you were so close you could feel his gear brush against yours when he breathed. Inside your form, your pulse sings, “If you hadn't fired that shot all of this would have been finished. Now,” You lower your voice as his enraged eyes bore into you, “He’s off in the damn wind. We’ll never get an opportunity like that again.” 

“Back up.” Keegan stands straighter, arms falling to his sides, and at that moment a sliver of hesitance makes its way into your heart as his shadow looms over you, “Now. Before you do something you’ll regret.”

Clenching your jaw, your finger falls. No matter how pissed off you were at the Ghost, one thing he said was right. Keegan was in control of this mission – technically he was your superior at the moment. You should listen to him. 

Listen? Your eyes flash, Like he listened to me? I told him to not fire while I lined my scope up…Why the hell did he do that?

“The sooner you’re out of my life,” Growling, you stare deep into Keegan’s eyes and only slightly shiver at the intensity. You could feel his breath coming out in strained puffs, wafting over your face, “The better. This is on you…All of my goddamn work down the drain…” 

Jerking back as you grumble the last sentence under your breath, you storm past the Ghost’s stone-still figure and enter the cockpit, feeling his locked gaze on you the entire time. You slam the door shut, only serving to make the pilots snap their attention to you, mouths slack and optics wide.

“What?” You growl, glaring and practically releasing steam out of your ears. Damn that man and his stupidly handsome face…What?

The pilots quickly stutter back to their controls, backs straight, and heads forward. 

Blinking, you scrunch your lips; your sense coming back to you as your shoulders deflate. 

“Fuck,” Grumbling, you bring your hands up and place them on top of your head, lacing the fingers together as your elbows stick out. You glance remorsefully at the two stiff profiles, “Sorry, boys. Long day.” 

Elias was going to lecture you again. 

He always did when you and Keegan got into fights – they were becoming more and more recent in the past few months. From common disagreements about misplaced knives or weapons to full-blown yelling matches over accidents on missions, the recurring bouts of thrown words never seemed to end. 

You were so incredibly sick of it. 

Why were you always fighting with him? Why did every action strike you in the heart like a blade? You were always tense around Keegan, sending sharp glances at him every time he was in the vicinity and sharper words a second later. He did the same in return, it wasn’t like this was one-sided. The man was determined to push every button in the book, and damn it if you didn’t do that as well. 

Keegan was a man on a high horse; arrogant, hard-headed, rude, and held authority like a stick you could beat someone over the head with. He demanded utter perfection. 

Sighing violently, you lean back against the door and shove your palms into your eye sockets; head tilting back to rest on the cool metal and soothe the growing headache.

The problem was, most of the time the man was right when he told you something – whether work-related or not. 

“Tango to the left – weapons hot.”

“Contact Scarecrow, Exfil in five. We have a group just above the pharmacy building.”

“West, Kid. Snipers scope, take ‘em down.”

No Man’s Land was supposed to be your playground and all of a sudden some other kid comes along; starts throwing rocks at the equipment with a damn painted balaclava over his face. You didn’t want someone telling you how to do your job. 

Frowning, your teeth nash in annoyance. 

This flight back to Santa Monica couldn't end soon enough, and now you had months of Recon intel sitting in your office to throw into the trash.

—

You grabbed at the pinned-up files with paper-cut fingertips, looking over the contents before frowning. Tossing them to the side, your ears twitch at the flopping sound of them flying into the garbage bin at your feet. 

The bulletin board was bare of all the red yarn, maps, and intel that you had once hung up with pride. Vidal Teo was gone, and just so the board was once more empty. It was hard not to feel cheated, angry, but maybe a part of you felt emptiness as well. 

All of that work… just for one shot to mess it up. And the bullet wasn’t even from your own gun. 

“I swear,” You whisper, itching at your nose, “If I ever get up on a team with him again…” 

Trailing off, your legs shift and carry you to your desk where you throw yourself down into the chair. Thoughts of Keegan made your brain race, mind going to try and understand why. Even if you didn’t like the man, at least on the surface, you still respected him. 

So, why? None of it made sense. Why fire off into the city at an unidentified target and send Teo rushing for cover? Why not explain to you what had happened when you were back on the plane? If he had made a mistake and admitted that, you would have accepted it… eventually, of course, but you still would have accepted it regardless. You would have had to.

Licking your lips, you tap your knuckles onto the metal of your desk, playing a long-forgotten tune. You never heard the door open.

“Heard the Op didn’t go as planned, but at least the two of you didn’t kill each other. I’d have a helluva a lot of paperwork to do if you put a bullet in his ass,” Sitting up straighter your head snaps to the open doorway, seeing the stocky stature of Thomas Merrick with his arms crossed over his chest, “Still, though, heard ya’ nearly made those pilots piss their pants when you yelled at ‘em.”

“Merrick,” You groan out, tipping your head past the chair’s backing, your neck digging into the wood, “You’re acting like I try to be a bitch.” 

“Are you not,” When you glare at him, the man’s dark eyebrow raises slightly, “Because you’re failing at it – often. Elias’s at the end of his rope with you two.”

Grumbling, your nose scrunches, lips pulling back in a small snarl. 

“It’s not my fault. Keegan hates me just the same.” 

“That any excuse to yell at a superior?” Merrick sighs, shaking his bald head and walking forward, “Thought I trained you better than that?” 

Your eyes flicker to his own, but seeing the blatant disappointment in them, you find it better to look at the empty bulletin board. Swallowing stiffly, your feet shuffle on the floor. 

“Look at all my work, Thomas,” Shoving yourself to your feet, you walk to the small garbage bin and pick it up; holding it aloft, you watch the Ghost’s Field Officer's lips thin. There was a mass amount of wasted paper, pictures, and yarn that caught his eye. You go and slam it onto your desk, hearing the clatter as the pencil holder falls to its side, “Wasted. Because of one man’s actions – how many people are going to die now because I couldn’t make the shot? Ten, twenty, thirty…?” 

“Kid–” Merrick begins, but you cut him off – still angry at Keegan and trying to strangle down the guilt of pushing it onto Thomas.

“If you don’t mind, Merrick, I have a shit-ton of reports to sign and no time to do them,” Once more flopping back into your chair, you rub your hands over your face and feel the skin pull. If you were anyone other than yourself, you would be getting a reprimand for interrupting a superior like that but Merrick was something of a friend to you. 

Closing your eyes, you let the darkness behind your lids flood you as you take a deep breath. 

The Ghost leaves after a moment without noise or a sound of encouragement, but that was just how he was. You feel his dark eyes on you, lingering, before he closes the door behind him and stalks away. 

Finally left alone in silence, you let your thoughts run to try and answer the age-old question that ravaged your mind.

“What happened to make us like this?” You whisper, hands falling to your lap as you stare off into the distance with blank eyes. 

You had never given it much thought – sometimes people just didn’t like each other. Ingrained enemies written into the annals of time and cursed to forever be at each other's throats like rabid animals. But then you realized that this wasn’t high school and you were an adult living in a fucked up world full of death and war. Coworkers no longer had the privilege to talk shit about the other behind their backs or not communicate their problems; being out in No Man’s Land forced people to compromise and work together like a well-oiled machine. 

And well-oiled was not the way to describe yours and Keegan's relationship…more like a run-down and rusty car that screams every time you turn the key; practically begging someone to put it out of its misery. 

Blinking, you realize, perhaps for the first time, how much of a problem this predicament with Keegan really was. 

This could kill us both.

All of this began, you knew, a long time back, and, as it usually did, it had started out beyond the Fort before bleeding back into the ramshackle place you called home. The both of you were enemies far longer than you had been friends.

Your body was hot, sweat dripping down your temple and slipping the expanse of your chin, but still, you stood outside Elias Walker’s door with a tense jaw; fingers itching to rip into Keegan’s flesh. They were speaking inside, their voices hushed as your boots pooled mud and dirt onto the floor like a brand. 

“She…went over the ridge?” Elias asks, voice deep, “And she’s alive?”

“Hm,” Keegan makes a savage noise in the back of his throat, and you have to hide your panting breaths to hear it. The damn bastard was always so silent any sound would perk your ears, even if they were ringing with reverberations of spent bullets.

“Then I don’t exactly see what the problem is, Keegan.”

A pause.

“...She’s impulsive. Combative. Doesn’t listen,” There was an inhaled breath, and you feel your face burn at the profound gravel-toned words, lungs making your chest tighten as they zip closed as a bag would. But those next comments make you growl in the back of your throat, rage like fire in your heart, “I don’t want her. Kid’ll get the people she’s placed with killed if she’s allowed to do that again!”

A sigh through the shocked silence. 

“Then what do you suggest I do? She’s a valuable asset, I can’t just ground her – the Recon work she does is vital to finding Federation strongholds.”

“I don’t care what you do with her, Elias. Just keep her far away from me and the boys. Kid’s not my problem. Never want her to be again.”

Whatever harsh words are uttered next are lost to you, because your legs are already carrying you down the corridor with brimming tears stuck in the corners of your eyes. 

It was more the way he said it than the contents of the clipped sentences. Like you were less than him, pathetic, and unworthy. Nothing more than a rookie holding a gun and parading off into the wilderness to have a good time. That was what wrecked you.

The next time you saw Keegan it was only narrowed glances and clenched fists; terse words. When you snapped at him for the first time, you swear his eyes slightly widened, cold blue one second then boiling bright the next.

You liked that look on him – shocked into a different type of silence. A type of anger you could meet head-on.

Fighting with Keegan soon became too addicting to ignore, a constant activity that never changed like the destroyed world always did. A failsafe at the end of the day. 

 The anger had never dimmed, infecting you like a poisoned worm stuck in your veins and weaseling its way to your heart. It had only grown the longer you let it sit, and at the end of the day, you festered over the image of the Ghost’s face with his eyes digging into your skin. You stayed awake at night mulling over the arguments, taking the insults and words like bullet wounds to your heart with barely restrained tears; feeling guilty because you threw some back as well. 

But what hurt you the most was that, before the hushed meeting in Elias’s office, you had looked up to him. To Keegan. Perhaps you had even enjoyed his quiet company at one point when the loneliness of No Man’s Land got to you. The terrain was incredibly quiet in between the violent hails of gunfire and, on occasion, it would make paranoia infect your bones like a cancer; producing shaking limbs and tense fingers. When Keegan was with you…you hated to admit this, but he made the silence better. More survivable compared to when you were alone doing Recon with only a gun and a combat knife as deadly companions. 

Your narrowed lids flicker to the trash bin on the desk. 

There was still a small pinch of anger – resentment for the waste and for words spoken in haste – but your mind pulsed to find an explanation. A reason. 

There must be a reason that Keegan would fire off a shot into the city prematurely…obviously it was to hit a target, but why? And why hadn’t he told you the reason? 

I’m gonna rip my head apart if I keep thinking this over, You warn yourself, huffing under your breath. 

You had reports to write up – tell of your failure to kill Vidal Teo and how many lives that will ultimately cost in the future. While you were stuck with a pen in your hand, scribbling away even as the sun had set outside, you had no idea of the stare-down going on in Elias’s office one floor up.

—

Elias’s eyes are sharp, a wave of dark anger deep in the iris as he stands with his arms crossed behind his desk, “Why’d you fire?”

Keegan's feet are shoulder length apart and his arms are clenched behind his back, spine straight; a deep tension lives in the thick air, bearing down weight on the men. The Ghost was still in his gear, the balaclava and black face paint in all its glory situated over his head. That was his best form of armor, allowing him to hide the deep sneer over his cruelly scared lips. 

“Tango. Off in the next building,” Keegan’s voice was low, harsh, and cut to a point. He didn’t want to be there – there were many more important things to be done than getting a lecture like a five-year-old. 

His sniper rifle needed cleaning, rookies needed to be disciplined, and the treadmills were calling his name. He had to work off all the bullshit in his head.

“The Girl had the shot. Vidal Teo needed to die, Russ – she knew that well enough. I want an explanation as to why a high-priority target is still up and walking.” 

The silent beast of a man keeps his body still, even if his head is pounding. Hot adrenaline was still in his veins from how you were yelling at him in the Sherpa, the memory of your rage-twisted face burning into the back of his eyes. He had never seen you that angry before; shaking with the need to release your displeasure onto him. It had slightly taken him aback. 

Fighting with you was predictable. You’d both throw insults, get into each other's faces and cruelly break down each other's psyche piece by piece – the man knew what to say and where the unspoken line was just as you did. Fighting was easier than admitting there was something deeper going on, something that you two were hesitant to even speak of. 

But, hell, you had never gotten that upset at him previously. And, problem was, even if he wanted to deny it, Keegan knew he fucked up. Bad. 

There wasn’t a way in hell that he was going to tell you that, though. He wasn’t going to tell you that his finger had moved before his mind could, pulling down on the hair-trigger of his prized rifle like a fucking novice. Even now self-resentment was worming into him.

He had never felt that to this degree before. He didn’t like it – couldn’t afford to acknowledge it.

What gave you the right to provoke those emotions from him? Maybe I need to ask to have her transferred. Brat’s messin’ with my head.

“Miscalculation. Won’t happen again.” His feet shuffle, boots shifting silently over the floor like that of his title. Miscalculation – he doesn’t make those. Never had after ODIN hit the US. There wasn’t any room for them. 

Keegan was a master of taking lives with a swift movement and a pull of a trigger; no one had ever known him to be reckless. 

They had you for that.

Elias narrowed his eyes, head tilting, as a tightness is seen rippling through his jaw, “You’re going to have to lie better than that, Son.”

Keegan stilled, dead eyes boring into the other man’s. The sharp blue deepens, darkens. His shoulders set themselves, but the ingrained looseness is still there if someone looks close enough and spies it. Instinct is hard to fight. 

“Elias?” He asks from behind the fabric of his face covering but utters no more. 

Keegan was a man of few words – very few. Actions served him better, but in this room, there was no point to them. Walker was his superior; his Captain, but more so the closest thing to a brother Keegan would ever have. There wasn’t a choice in this, even if the men had gone through hell together as Ghosts. 

“Don’t play me for a fool, Keegan,” The graying man mutters out, shaking his head and going to rest his hands on the top of his desk, “I’ve known you a long time. You don’t fuck up something like this. Never have. So don’t insult me with that half-assed answer.” 

Elias pauses, sighing when Keegan just stares at him with blank, black-laced, hard eyes. The man was a damn empty slate, never moving, never giving away anything to betray his emotions.  

“I want a full report on my desk in a week. I’m sure the Kid’ll have hers done in a day, but I want you to explain yourself. In detail. You hear?”

“Copy.” 

“Dismissed.”

Keegan turns and leaves without another word, just a burning in his gut and a righteous sense of surety in his bloodstream. Your face slashes over his vision as he exits the room, he closes the door behind him and thumps down the halls. People move out of his way quickly, sending glances with pupils so tiny they practically disappear altogether; Keegan knew he was intimidating, especially with all his gear and smelling like gunpowder and blood. Didn’t bother him much. 

It seemed like it didn’t bother you either, judging by how you were in his face screaming all the time. 

Damn brat, Keegan thinks, itching at his nose bridge and sending stiff glances at the rows and rows of closed doors and windows, She doesn’t know anything.

Before long his feet had carried him down corners and hallways as his head pounded, and it wasn’t a surprise that when he shook himself out of his trance the entire make-up of the floors and walls had changed. 

Wait…where was he? 

His pace slows to a stop, and his eyebrows furrow in confusion. Where had he ended up while his mind was running at the thought of you? This had never happened before – the Ghost’s head was all out of sorts if he was talking walks around the Fort without a destination. Every action of his had a purpose, why was that now becoming anything less than fact? 

Annoyance plagued him.

Sliding his eyes around, a certain office window catches his viper-like attention. It was the only one with a light still on, warm rays shining out into the hallway, and the shuffling of paper and manila folders flowing to his ears. The door was only minutely ajar, a sliver, and nothing more. About to turn around and leave the area, Keegan halts at the sound of a familiar voice grumbling. His heart jerks.

Blue eyes narrow, and that annoyance at himself grows to find an external outlet.

The hell is this Kid doin’ up so late? Doesn’t she know when lights out is? Fuck, looks like she can’t follow simple guidelines either.

With shuffling feet, he takes a step forward and has every intention to bust down the door and force you to the barracks; lecturing you on the importance of rest when he suddenly realizes something.

Why does he care if you get a good night's sleep? 

Growling under his breath, he happens to get a glimpse of a moving shadow through the window that gives him pause with one gloved hand on the woodgrain of the door. If possible, he feels his body completely stop at the scene; his eyes flickering into a widened look. 

And what was that tightening in his chest?

You were staring at the hung-up bulletin board, having dragged your desk chair over and situated it right in front of the bare rectangle that once held an innumerable amount of papers and information. 

Keegan had seen it himself right before the mission had started. Your eyes lit up when you could tell him everything you knew about the target from his schedule to what he ate in the mornings.

Eggs with a protein bar. Two cups of milk.

You had gathered all of that info yourself – countless trips into Federation-occupied territory that left you coming back with bruises and deep lacerations. Keegan knew; he had watched you limping back through the gate with a shielded look in his eyes. But now the board was blank and useless, holding nothing but your knowledge that it was once filled with your labors. 

The Ghost’s hand on the door loosens, and he takes a slow inhalation of breath as your tired eyes get glossy. When had you gotten those bags under your eyes? Keegan’s lips pull thin behind his balaclava. Had…had you always looked that tired? 

Had you both really been fighting so much that he had stopped noticing the most basic parts of you that he had watched so closely before?

“I had it…” Keegan’s shoulders tense when he hears you speak, but he doesn’t move. A needle of guilt moved to dig deeper. Your hopeless sigh leaves him gritting his teeth, “Fuck.” 

Digging your palms into your eyes, he watches you shake, limbs tense and hunched over nearly into a ball. He has the sudden urge to push the door open, not to scold you but to simply stand by your side. Tell you the truth. 

Keegan’s eyebrows pull together, gaze flicking away from you so his brain can focus. But it was like a magnet was stuck behind his optics because it wasn’t long before his eyes flowed back to the small figure. 

He stays there for a good while, watching, with a weighted chest and pounding heart. Keegan couldn’t really say what he was thinking about, but all of it certainly involved you. So why couldn’t he open the door?

When your head jerks back up, his eyes widen, body swiftly moving back. 

By the time you look out the office window, his shadow is already disappearing down the hallway. 

—

You nearly lose your cool when Elias tells you Keegan was accompanying you out into No Man’s Land once more. The bags under your eyes burned – weeks had passed since the fight, and you had gotten little sleep since then. 

“Teo was sighted by one of the drones near an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of San Francisco. I want you and Keegan on the trail, and, hopefully,” Elias mutters as Merrick and Ajax listen in the background. Your apparent partner stands behind you, leaning back on the wall with his arms crossed, “We can put this to rest.”

Standing rail-straight, your face is twisted but you keep yourself under control. Even being in the same room with Keegan made you want to lash out. At your sides, your hands slowly clench into tight fists, and behind you, a sharp gaze digs its claws into your skull.

He’s watching you. Studying like he always does when he thinks you don’t notice. 

“Sir,” You answer the older Ghosts blankly, lips stiff, “If you think that’s best.” 

“I do,” Merrick raises a brow behind Elias, and you pretend not to notice as Ajax’s shoulders shake, “That going to be a problem?”

Ironically, Keegan and you both answer at the same time, a strangling silence before a snarled, “No, Sir.” 

The pair of you shipped out in thirty minutes, but neither of you bothered to look at the other as you gathered supplies in the armory; grabbing magazine after magazine and strapping knives to thighs, arms padded with thick clothes and heavy black combat vests. Keegan was applying his face paint despite the dark color already stained into his eye sockets. You doubted it could come off anymore – the skin was probably so damaged by the chemicals it was pointless to try. Like some brutal birthmark. He slipped the balaclava over soon after.

The fabric covered the dark hair and strong jaw, slightly marred with stubble – long scars that grew harsher when his skin twisted; the angled lips below a sharp nose that had captured your attention the first time you had seen them. Keegan was undoubtedly handsome, carved from stone and silver – the remnants of that artistry only now glimpsed in his eyes as a cold reminder. It was funny, you thought, that someone so beautiful could be such an ass. You watched him, terse-like, and grabbed a revolver hanging from the rack, shoving it into your thigh holster. 

He was acting off. 

Keegan was more silent than he usually was; at this point, he would at least make a quick quip about your annoying habit of packing extra ration bars in your front pouch. 

‘Gonna weigh you down, Kid, if you stuff one more of those damn things into your vest.’

But the more you sneaked glances, the more your feet started to shuffle in unease. The Ghost wouldn’t even look at you. 

“You sick or something?” Your voice carries, echoing off the walls as you tighten the vest strap on your side. You had never bothered to be subtle when talking to the man – he appreciated bluntness, and that was one thing you could get behind. 

“No,” Keegan slips past, suddenly colder than ever before, and disappears without another word. 

Watching his back shift as he strides off, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and perhaps a bit of shock. 

What the hell was that? You ask yourself, hands falling to your sides where they twitch. Keegan was damn confusing, but he had never been outright numb like that to you besides when you both first met. Your resentment flares in your breast, but with a shake of your head, you force it down. That wouldn’t help anyone, and you still wanted answers. 

If this was how Keegan wanted to be then fine, you’d just have to ask Elias for his report when you got back and figure out for yourself why he had ruined the previous mission. 

You grabbed a canteen of water and shuffled out the door, flicking off the light with a heavy finger and followed after the Ghost’s footsteps; dreading the Op but feeling your pulse beat at the thought of nabbing Teo once and for all. 

This was ending. Today. 

—

The aircraft landed just far enough away to be unseen by Federation soldiers and on the line of being annoyingly distant from the target. The hike would be through mountainous terrain – the land ravaged by the remnants of ODIN’s destruction and just beginning to heal. On top of steep cliffs, and sharp rocks, there would also be rampaging streams and thick foliage. Speaking from experience, you knew it was going to be a sweat-inducing mission…and that was before you got to the main point of it all. 

Both of you disappear into the treeline after the pilot tells you the future Evac Point, hoofing it at a jog into the shadows and blending in like animals. Under your feet, the leaves crush, telling stories of where you placed your weight as the packs over your body jump with every jerk forward. Keegan takes the lead, silently expecting you to follow as your eyes stare into his back. 

He still hadn’t talked to you. It made your skin crawl.

Watching his gait, you frown and clench your jaw. Why did it bother you so much? Wasn’t this what you wanted all along…for him to leave you alone? 

Sighing, you hop over a downed log, seeing Keegan quickly send a look behind him at your form before snapping his head forward. 

“There’s an old structure west of the Warehouse – a hunting lodge still standing from before ODIN was fired, I found it on one of my other Ops,” You call, moving faster to run side-by-side with the man. Dodging a tree, your tongue runs over your lips, “We should set up there – we’d have a clear shot.”

For a moment there was only the sound of shoved foliage, steady breaths, and clinking gear before Keegan replies. 

“Affirm.” 

He pulls ahead, and you’re left widely watching his shoulders, seeing the muscles under his attire ripple as they propel him faster away. Your eyelids narrow, a thin sneer flickering over your lips.

Keep your cool, You follow after, careful where you place your feet as the ground begins to ascend, If I get him in a good mood, maybe he’ll answer my questions later. 

It was easier said than done, of course, and although your efforts were valiant, none of your plans to get him to speak to you landed. The hike ended with panted breaths and a setting sun, mist seeping like snakes over the rocks under your feet; the world was quiet, and try as you might you found a deep sense of loneliness in that. The pair of you were on top of a ridge, surrounded by deep green and gray. No birds sang, and no animals trampled the land – it was just the harsh wind and the creak of stretching metal from far ahead. The occasional smell of dirt that left your nose full of particles and led to coughing fits.

Perhaps Keegan had the right idea for a face covering, even if it was never intended for the reason of keeping the elements out.

The Warehouse was near a crater, one of the places ODIN had struck directly into the Earth, and teetered on the edge of oblivion as it was half-falling apart and drenched in red rust. Occasionally, as a tremor rolled through, pieces of it would fall off and slam to the ground a million miles away, deep into the crust of what was left. 

Definitely a place for a safe house. No one would bother to look here unless you already knew about it or were hiding something.

Thinking to yourself, you rub the sweat off your nose with the back of your hand, eyes flickering to the hole in the Earth with shielded disgust. It had been over ten years, but the horror was still there. All of those innocent people… 

“Here,” The smooth voice startles you, but your attention diverts quickly to the man at your side. His hands hold out a red cloth in his first and second fingers and pointedly avoids sneaking a peak at your shocked expression. Your mouth opens and closes, optics bouncing back and forth between the gift and the strange Ghost. 

You could hear a pin drop if you had one to throw.

“The fuck are you doing?” 

“Your stench is going to alert the guards – wipe yourself off. I need to repeat myself, Princess?” With an unamused face, you snatch the textile and rub it over your heated skin, reveling in the dismissal of layers of salt. 

“Asshole,” You mutter, “You better not have used this before me; if I get acne I’m shaving your head in your sleep and siccing Riley on you.” 

“Sounds fun. Better make sure I’m dead by the end of it.”

“Trust me, I will. I’ll make sure to chuck your body from the Fort wall, too,” Sliding past him, you toss the cloth at his chest, “Hunting lodge is this way.” 

You get so close your shoulders lightly brush, and although you hate the implications, the action leaves your chest tight as you inhale his scent of blood and shrill chemicals. Clenching your jaw, you don’t take in the way his warmth floods your veins or the cold gaze that follows your back as you walk away; briefly softening around the edges like a blunt blade before being sharpened once more under stone and rock.

Hearing his feet lightly caress the ground behind you, you let out a slow breath, shoving away a branch of a low tree and peeping back. Keegan's gaze locks on your own as if he was waiting for this, and you curse not being able to see his expression – but it wasn’t like that would give away anything either. The Ghost was blank, much like the bulletin board had been when you ripped your work from it.

Raising a dark brow, the man grunts under his breath in question as his large shadow leeks over your form. 

“Nothin,’” You mutter and turn back, fixing the strap of your rifle and side step a piece of cut wood, looking like it was the remains of a windowsill that had been broken during the shockwave and flung from a house, “Thanks for the rag. Even if it did smell like Gun Oil.”

Blinking down at the forgotten object, your arms push through one more set of fauna and huff when you lay eyes on the run-down lodge that would be Base Camp. Rushing up the decaying steps, you push the paint-peeing door open and throw your hands out.

“And here we are,” Walking with acute familiarity into the one-room area, “Home sweet home,” You nod your head to the left, where a large window gives a clear view of the Warehouse down below, “We’ll take the shot from over there, but…here…where did I…?” 

Stumbling to a stop, you take one step back and ignore the narrowed eyes on your back.

“The hell you looking for, Kid?” 

“Shh,” You snap your fingers at a loose board near a broken-down TV stand, “There we go!” Jogging over, you place your foot on one end of the board and grab the now-propped-up opposite side with a heavy hand. Like a teeter-totter. 

Tossing the wood away, you grab the stash you had hidden years ago and hold it aloft near your head as you turn around.

Keegan watches with small eyes, head tilted, and feeling a bit curious about where this was going. What were you holding in your hand…? Was that…?

“Chocolate bars? I thought those were under strict ration laws?” His booted feet carry him closer to you and the plastic bag holding three bars of the old treat, “Damn, Kid.” 

The man didn’t ask how you knew they were there – at least, yet – but he had an idea. You had logged more hours outside than anyone else besides the Ghosts, and with your affinity to keep to your own, it was only common sense that you had stashes all over California.

“Special occasion,” You mutter, opening the bag and tossing him one. Of course, he catches it, flipping it over in his hands and rubbing a thumb over the wrapper. Keegan’s eyes filter back to yours slowly, and under him, his feet shuffle to shift his weight. 

“Y’know these things are probably older than Fort Santa Monica, right? It’ll give you gut rot.”

“God, I hope so,” You rip the wrapper open and snap off a piece as you hear crinkling from the other bar being opened; you toss yours into your mouth and smirk, “Maybe Ajax’ll finally lend me his alcohol stash to help me out for once. Bastard keeps making excuses.”

The bar was a bit stale if you were being honest, but it was still chocolate in your books. Stuffing the rest of it in your side pocket, you slip the rifle from around your back and head to the window, with the butt of the gun you raise it up and bring it down. A corner of the glass shatters into a million pieces, falling to the ground outside like tiny stars and reflecting the dying light. 

Far below, miles away, the Warehouse seems dead to the world, but your and Keegan’s trained eyes spy the microscopic shadows in the rust-strangled metal walls, slipping past like rats over the holes and windows. 

“Visual?” The man next to you asks, pulling back down his balaclava, and your ears twitch as you gaze through your scope; watching with perfected focus. Pulling back with a grunt, you flip the gun and rest the barrel against the wall, sighing.

“Negative. There won’t be until the sun sets fully,” Keegan turns to look down at you, and the fabric around his mouth shifts into a frown. You raise a brow and explain, not needing him to ask his question, “I‘ve tracked this guy like a teenager on the internet who has a crush. I know his routine. When the sun sets he checks the perimeter with two of his guards, Fabián Julieta and Santos Rosa – I have reason to believe they’re his cousins, but it’s never been confirmed.”

“You sure he’ll do that?” Keegan scoffs, looking back out and tapping his fingers over his thigh holster, “There was just an attempt on his life. Not exactly the time to follow procedure.”

“Well, I suppose I’ll have to leave it to fate. Plus,” You can’t help but mutter, “We wouldn’t have been in this situation if you hadn’t messed up.”

The air thickens.

Keegan’s body stills, frozen like his bones had just been covered in frost and doused in frigid waters. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch with bated breath. But he notices the trap, it seems, because his neck never enters the snare laid out. The tension that had lived over you both like a dark cloud suddenly gained lighting, quick flashes of light over the sky.

“It’ll be too dark by then,” Is his only response – even if it’s clipped and growled out like a man ready to snap. He wanted to start an argument, you could tell with growing amusement. Keegan’s arms clench at his sides into shaking fists.

“Then it’s a good thing Ghosts can see in the dark,” You smirk, tilting your head to the side and beginning to reach for the rest of the chocolate bar resting in your pocket, “Isn’t that right? Make sure not to freak out and fire at the birds–!” 

The hand latches onto your shoulder before you can process the man had even moved; eyes widening to the size of plates as the pressure snaps your body to face forward. You let out a light yip as your feet drag. Despite the hold being firm, Keegan’s fingers never dig too tight.

Your eyes level on his, gazing deep into his boiling blues that shimmer the longer you stare. Had the middle always had flecks of green? Inside your chest, your heart pounds like a drum as, behind the balaclava, his jaw clenches. Keegan’s breath is like a breeze over your hair, rustling it. 

“Don’t…do that,” He says slowly. You just watch, wide-eyed, “Don’t speak on shit you have no idea about.” 

Whatever had made your lungs constrict fled in an instant.

“What?” Your lips twist, “You mind telling me how I’d have ‘no idea’ about an Op I was supposed to come back with a confirmation of death on?” 

You shove his arm off your shoulder and hate the way the chill of the air overtakes his warmth. 

Keegan’s shoulders set, “Kid, I’m ordering you to–”

“Cut the shit!” You yell, finger going to shove into his face and watching his head whip to it before wafting back to your visage. If possible his shoulders widen even farther, legs tense and straight. This was it – your confusion would go no further, you decided, “You’re going to explain all of this, Keegan–!” 

“Watch the damn volume–”

“Explain why I’m out here, why you messed up the mission–!”

“Listen to me. I need you to–”

“Why my fucking work was all wasted because you pulled the damn trigger and I’m reaping the consequences like an idiot with a guy who hates my guts–!”

“There was a sniper on the roof.”

Your rampage stops just as you were about to open your mouth once more. You stare at him at the bombshell, not even able to process it for a moment. Blinking, you realize you had moved Keegan backward so his back was pressed into the opposite wall; your body was pressed tightly up next to his. With every fast breath, you could feel your chest connect with his, and your finger was still against his peck, digging into the gear. 

Sucking in a quick breath, you gathered what little courage you had gained and looked up into his face with a fire lit in your blood. 

“...W-what?” Keegan’s body shifts and his arms go to grab your elbows. 

He doesn’t move you, just gives them a firm squeeze and explains as his heart pounds in his chest. Under the cloth, his mouth is slightly parted, and his pupils are wide.

“Federation sniper,” He utters, blinking as your face goes void of emotion, “I didn’t know if he’d seen you yet, but I…” 

The Ghost trails off as his thigh brushes yours, all of the pouches uncomfortable to feel digging into his skin, but worth it if he can make this right.

“Why…Why didn’t you tell me?” You whisper out, the skin of your eyebrows moving to press the tiny hairs closer together. This changed everything, “Why did you…?”

Keegan’s face is so close to yours that he can smell your shampoo through the dark fabric over his nose, suddenly suffocating on the comfort the covering usually brought him. Why was his heart racing in his chest? You were being irresponsible, yelling like that, and stubborn, hard-headed. 

But, damn, if anger wasn’t a good look on you. Your body heat was leaking into him, making him swallow heavily.

“Because…knew you’d blame yourself,” He said simply, staring at you deeply as your expression softens just as Keegan’s body does against the wall; you lean in deeper to his hold, “Just didn’t expect you to take it all so hard.”

“What? You just wanted me to let it go?” You utter, feeling and finally admitting how addicting it felt to be this close to him. For the life of you, you can’t find it in yourself to look away from him. What was happening?

“Again, didn’t know you’d take it so hard,” He raises a brow, grip falling from your elbows to lightly grab your hips. You force down a shiver, veins alight with molten lava at the strange contact. The Ghost continues, “Where’d you get the idea I hated you?”

Your throat swallows down saliva, not understanding the feeling in your gut. 

Shit, You think, Maybe that chocolate was bad – my head’s spinning…All I can smell is Keegan. But why am I not trying to leave?

Just a moment ago you were angry at him, but now everything made sense. A sniper, God, he could have just told you. It would have fixed a lot of things.

You mull over his question; do you answer it honestly? But for some odd reason, your mouth runs faster than your mind – it always had, and certainly always would. At least around Keegan, that is.

A breaking point had been reached, wherever you went from here was entirely up to the two of you.

“You said you didn’t want me,” The man’s breath stills, and you feel it just as you hear it; his scanning optics halt their study of your features, as if he had been seeing them for the first time in this light, “That I’d get people killed…why…why do you think I always work by myself nowadays?” Your nose begins to hurt, eyes falling to Keegan’s chest. You try to shove it down, but your hand over his vest shakes slightly. Where was this coming from? Why were you telling him this? The source of your animosity, how you two became, at least in your mind, enemies, “I just didn’t want to be a problem.”

Muttering out the last sentence, you swear Keegan’s chest hitches, heart kickstarting. 

“I…” He begins after a long moment of mutually avoiding eye contact. If you look into those beautifully cold blues you might break. 

But voices from below snap whatever the both of you would externally loathe but internally revel in; the longing in the two pairs of eyes is replaced by duty and unsaid words. The action was mechanical, and both parties rushed to the window, with your fingers grasping the rifle and Keegan grabbing the binoculars from his largest pouch. 

Like birds of prey, the two work in such sync that others would question if they even hated each other at all – and if they had seen the scene just moments prior the thoughts of denial would have been strengthened ten-fold. 

Did you hate Keegan? Or did you hate what he had done? Now really wasn’t the time to question it, but as the Ghost called out the distance and spotted Vidal Teo in pitch darkness, you can’t help but mutter, “Knew you could see in the dark, Kee,” And lined up the shot. 

Your finger pulls the trigger with little more than a second thought, and your shoulder catches the recoil with a grunt leaving your lips. 

“Direct hit. Target down,” A soft hand squeezes your shoulder as you watch the body drop from the scope. Grim satisfaction breeds in your heart. Your eye roves to Keegan’s face, who nods his head at you, “It was a good shot, Princess.”

Face heating, all you do is scoff, rolling your eyes, “Yeah, well…I suppose you called it.”

“Really, you can’t just take the compliment?“

“Do you want me to beat you over the head with this rifle?”

You both stand up and send coded glances to the other, and where the backhanded comments would usually be hostile, the small differences in presentation lean more toward teasing than anything. 

It was…nice. Foreign, but nice.

Chuckling, you toss the rifle around your back and listen to panicked voices echoing out from the warehouse. Keegan still stands near the window, with his back to it, while you inch to the door and itch at the back of your neck. He stares at you strangely, no doubt thinking about what you had confessed prior.

He had no idea you had heard the conversation with Elias. The Ghost’s chest constricts, remembering the words he had said in concern and anger. Had you really heard all of it? That would explain the sudden cold attitude that was mirrored back to him all those months ago.

Damn, Keegan blinks, and his head tilts as you stare back at him with a questioning expression. Your face was innocent with sweaty flesh filled with dust and grime. His fingers itched to wipe away the slash of black dirt from your forehead and, against his will, his stone blue softened to water in his eye sockets.

Your lips twitch at the rare expression. You had a lot to talk about when you both get back to base. 

“We should get going before–” 

Glass shatters, and a loud pop like an opening soda can startles you so bad you swore your heart stopped. Two things happen in that instance that will be ingrained into your head forever, carved like a scar in the fine tissue and tender to the touch.

One, his blood splattered your face, making you blink rapidly and reel back.

Two, the sound of Keegan’s hitting the floor – deadweight – and the loud gasp that exits his mouth, all the air expelled from his lungs not allowing him to even scream.

“Keegan!” You yell, rushing over and grabbing onto his shoulders, flipping him over with a grunt and panicked breath as you brush away the crimson from your eye sockets with a fast hand, “Shit!”

His body slams once more to the old wood, this time his back now on the floor. Blood pools down from a gunshot wound over his right abdomen, and your eyes land on it immediately, lungs struggling to suck down air.

Below you, Keegan lets out a wheezing sound, arm coming half-up to clench in the space above him, shaking violently. 

“Fucken’...” The man gasps, and his body jerks, trying to move despite the hole in his side. Your fingers rip open your medical pouch, eyes darting back to the window. You lightly stand up, frantic eyes darting and freezing. Spying a glint of light reflected from the moon, you quickly dip back to the floor.

Sniper scope. 

Rushing to grab Keegan under the shoulders, he yells out curses as you drag him to the side and out of the line of sight of the window. Tearing out a rag and a roll of gauze from your stash, you look at his face as you shove the cloth against the leaking wound, bunching the fabric and working it into the crater. 

Keegan snarls, head going back to slam to the floor as his eyes flutter. Those blues of his were wide and whizzing back and forth in a primal display, and behind the balaclava, you could see his throat bob with strangled, open-mouthed, breaths. Fuck, fuck, fuck…!

“Hey!” You shout, bringing up one hand and lightly slapping his cheek as you lean your body weight into his side. Your heart was going too fast, it was going to break out of your chest if you didn’t get a grip. But…Keegan’s blood was staining your hands; leaking down your face to drip from your chin. And the fact remained that the Federation soldiers now knew your position and were rushing to the dilapidated lodge. You needed to get him out of here, “Keep your damn eyes open – the only person who gets to kill you is me!”

“What…what the fuck, Princess?”

“You heard me!” Your body was shaking just as much as Keegans as you gnash your teeth together, “‘Doesn’t listen,’ my ass, your ears work less than mine do.” 

You’re panicking; using born and breed sarcasm and clipped words to ease you back into focus.

You had to move him – had to get him out of here. But would you be able to? He was big; far larger than you and weighed twice as much in muscle alone, not to mention the gear... Your mind did the math even as you pleaded with it not to. 

He would have to help you on his own if this was going to work. And that meant keeping him conscious.

Keegan lets out a loud cough, and your fingers itch to move his face-covering so he can breathe better. But you unravel the gauze instead, going to shift his body to wrap it around the rag – holding it in place. 

“Gotta’ move,” He snarls at you, trying to keep the pain at bay as it sweeps over him like waves of water, in and out, in and out.

“Working on it.” 

Right as you tie off a tight knot on the already bloody wrappings, the Ghost tries to get up, an arm turning to slam to the floor behind him and vibrate as he forces his weight on it. Knowing that was a bad idea but not having another choice, you loop one of his arms over your shoulders and grunt. Bearing the brunt of his weight you hold your breath and angle your feet; shoving with all of your strength and gasping out. 

“What the hell do you eat, man? Rocks?” As you grip with your free hand at his limp wrist, you take a quick glance at Keegan when you don’t hear a response. When he’s up, one of your hands goes to wrap around his waist. 

The man’s eyes were fluttering fast, pupils retracted in pain. The blood leaking from him stains your body as you hike his form closer to you, feeling the warmth of the flesh enter your skin like a candle’s flame. 

“Keegan!” You call, shaking his body. The man lets out a low groan, sharp eyes snapping to yours. You're taken aback when you see them immediately soften as they land on your panic-laced form, “You’ve gotta help me, okay?”

Speaking slowly, you hope he listens as he blinks at the blood on your face, eyebrows tensing.

“Copy,” He mutters and sends about the closest he can to a stiff nod your way. 

Immediately all weight is taken from your hold and he stumbles to stand up straight, a hand snapping to his side as his feet drag.

“Not all of it! Idiot!” Growling, you rip him back to you, hissing in disapproval as he lets out a deep curse; nearly falling into you. Forcing him forward, you go as fast as you’re able to the entrance door and already a sheen of exertion is falling over your face. How the hell is he so heavy?

“Fuckin’ confusing, Kid…Just tell me what you– what you want, I’m bleeding out here,” Keegan barks, annoyance falling from him onto you. Was it really that impossible for the two of you to get along that you were fighting while he was seeping crimson all over you? You were getting along just a second ago.

“You’re impossible, Keegan Russ,” You lock onto him in the corner of your eye as you practically drag him to the door, shoving it open with your shoulder. Your fingers dig into his side and his wrist, trying not to get distracted by the strong muscle you feel writhing under your touch. Without meaning to, your grip had gravitated under his shirt, touching bare skin littered with scars and burns – hot and pulsing with life.

Your grip goes deeper, nails creating crescent moons in his flesh as you, somehow, get him down the stairs without falling flat on your face.

Did he just shiver?

“Evac point,” Muttering to yourself, you move faster, heart beating as shouts echo out over the hills, “Shit.”

“Focus,” Keegan utters to your side, “Don’t think about it. What…what’ll happen will happen.”

“Bullshit,” You growl and glance back to see the trail of blood over the ground. Shaking your head you stumble into the treeline, mouth open to help you suck down more air into your lungs, “If you expect me to believe that, you’re a fool.”

“..Maybe,” He coughs, and you have to pause for a moment and look in concern as dark phlegm splatters to the ground. No, you think, no not yet. He can’t do this to you, “Maybe I have been.”

“What,” You attempt a wet chuckle, not liking the conversation but if it kept him awake you would entertain it, “It only took you taking a shot to the side to realize that? There’s no hope for you, Kee.”

“Like when you call me that,” Lips thinning, you work your legs faster, dodging a rock and shimmying past a tree, “Sounds nice.” 

Your face heats at the shock-induced confession, breath inhaled in a sharp breath. 

You look at him, only to find his eyes already locked on your visage. The unrelenting optics ripped you open with how lucid they looked, even if his mouth seemed to have lost its filter. Taking it as a good sign, you tear your head back to the front, biting into your lips as your legs shake.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” You whisper, clearing your throat as Keegan lets out a small strangled sound from the back of his mouth as you stumble over a log on the ground, “But keep talking to me, yeah?”

“I don’t hate you,” He confessed with a soft voice, “...Was jus’ worried you would hurt yourself. Too hard-headed for your own good.”

“Could say the same thing about you,” Your lungs are burning, but you remind yourself it’s not even half as much pain as Keegan is going through. He carries himself so well, even holding some of his own weight to help you. How was he even still standing? If you had gotten shot like that, you’d be screaming your head off.

He’s a Ghost, You remind yourself, They defy all laws of nature and common sense.

“I’m sorry, Kid,” That makes you stop, body halting halfway through a step as your face blanks, panting out air and eyes popping out at the weak words, “You didn’t deserve to hear that.”

Swallowing down saliva into your dry throat, your mind tells you to keep moving. The meeting in Elias’s office…he was…he was apologizing to you? Stuttering only a moment, you resume your break-neck journey with a burning face and jumping heart. 

“Apology not accepted,” You growl, sending a sharp glance his way. Keegan’s eyes widen in surprise – but they look slightly buggy, “When we get back to the Fort, you’re saying it again…When you’re not getting me all covered in your fluids.”

The chuckle he lets out startles you, but you resist the urge to bring him even closer to your form and bask in his heat. He was…nice to feel against you, you admitted. Strong. Comforting in a rabid dog sort of way.

“Yeah, but you’d like…like that wouldn’t you, Princess?”

…Did he just..? When your jaw drops in shock, he lets out another gasping chuckle that divulges into a coughing fit. Getting your bearing back, you roll your eyes above the embarrassment in your blood even as your lower body pulses. Your legs shuffle as your breath goes thin.

“Let’s keep the dirty jokes under wraps, too, okay?... Who knew blood loss made you into a fucking comedian? Mr. Stand-Up over here.”

“Hm,” Keegan grunts, wheezing in a breath. You watch a dribble of blood fall from the side of his mouth with a grim face, mind running. 

He can’t die, You shake with nerves and adrenaline, I won’t let him. 

There was a brimming affection for the man you had been forcing down like a mouthful of food, and his drunk honestly right now was throwing you for a loop.

“I’ll get you to the Evac point, Keegan, I promise,” The shouts were getting closer, and the Ghost’s eyes were falling closed once more. 

You wanted to see his face – make him stare at you.

“Know you will,” His eyes clenched closed and you felt his weight fall more over you. Groaning breathily, you take it and continue onward with little concern for how your nerves tingle, “Y’know,” The next words he says are so muffled you barely hear them, but when your brain processes the gravel and sifts through the depth of it, you feel tears wet the sides of your vision, “I think I a-actually like you, Kid.”

Keegan goes slack, and the sounds of shouting grow ever closer. It takes everything in you not to scream out.

—

He wakes up with a buzzing in his ears and a bright light assaulting his eyes. It takes Keegan a good while to fully open his eyelids, flinching as the bulbs set into the ceiling seem to only get more violent as his senses come back to him. 

A groan exits his lips, and the scent of bleach and sterile air makes his head rove on the hard pillow under it.

“Well,” A masculine voice results in Keegan jolting up like he was hit with an electrical current, body spasming at him to stay still but not able to stop the ingrained instincts in his head, “Took you long enough. Ajax was just about losing his mind for one of you two to wake up. Had to order him to go run laps.”

“Merrick,” Keegan clenches his hands in pain, but his eyes fall to the man sitting in one of the visitor chairs at the door. The Medical Ward's familiar walls soon entered his sight, and ignoring the flair of agony in his bandaged side, the dark-haired man brought a hand to his face. Keegan takes a deep breath and flinches, “Explain.”

“What happened,” Standing, the stocky man cracks his neck, rolling his shoulders before glancing down to his side. Merrick points over Keegan's shoulder and nods his head, “Is that the girl dragged your limp ass all the way to the Evac point with a bullet wound in ‘er shoulder. Took out a few soldiers as well – one helluva hot exit.”

Sneaking a peak back, Keegan was stunned to find a matching hospital bed not a few feet from his own, a rack for a curtain drawn back to allow a view of a woman asleep; her right arm was in a sling and heavily bandaged, the covers pulled back to her midsection. You. His eyes stay locked on your form, momentarily forgetting the pulling of sutures in his side. 

You had…gotten shot. Protecting him.

“How bad,” His lips move faster than his head, a trait he was beginning to pick up and associate with only you.

“You needed to go into surgery–”

“Not me,” Keegan growled, itching at the gown that had been put on him. His eyes never left you, the peaceful expression on your face he had never seen before leaving a warm feeling in his gut. With a sigh, he mutters out with a tone far softer than it had been before, “Her.”

Merrick smirks, watching the rise and fall of your chest and seeing Keegan doing the same, just far more closely. 

“Prescribed pain meds and on leave for two months. It was a clean shot – lucky for her.”

Keegan nods his head stiffly, moving the pillows up on the elevated mattress and leaning back with a throaty groan. 

“I’ll go tell Elias you’re awake,” Merrick swiftly turns and opens the door, but pauses in the opening. The other man watches closely with a frown. Without turning around, Thomas utters, “Kid was pretty shook up when you wouldn’t come ‘round. You should fix that.”

The Ghost disappears and closes the door behind him. 

Blinking at the wooden barrier, Keegan wastes no time in pushing back the covers of his bed and pressing his feet to the floor; hissing at the chill but only running a hand through his hair in retaliation. His dark eyes watched you as he gritted his teeth at the strain in his side, the faint ripping of stitches. 

The pain didn’t bother him, didn’t sway his actions. His socked feet move over the floor to stand above you. He breathes slowly, sucking down cool air as he pauses for a minute or two.

“You’re something else, Kid,” Keegan whispers, cold eyes narrowing as his thumb goes to swipe away the dirt smudge on your forehead with delicate movements. He didn’t want to wake you. 

The mirror across the room shows a beast of a man carefully cleaning the face of a woman who murmurs to herself, shifting closer to the hold with a small sigh. Keegan, whose lips quirk in a small smile that pulls at scars and black, irreversible, face paint, finds the warmth in his blood addicting. His heart slowly speeds up, and although crimson was staining his bandages, he couldn’t find it in him to go back to bed. 

“If you keep doing that,” Your voice snaps him out of his stupor, and his hand is snatched back to his side in an instant; feet shoulder length apart and tense, “I just might die on you.”

The light above you plays in your eyes, bouncing off the color and reflecting it directly into Keegan’s iris as the skin of your eyelids peel back. You blink up at him, vision coming back into focus as you stretch your legs out under the covers. 

Sending a small smile to his blank face, you chuckle, “What?” You groan, “I was being sarcastic.”

A smirk is all you get, a slight twitching at the side of his lips at the fatigue in your tone.

“How long?” Keegan asks, raising a dark brow. Knowing what he’s asking, you scoff, face bright.

“Only about five minutes. I caught the end of Merricks conversation,” You reply.

“Hm.”

“Don’t give me that look – I’m in the room, what do you want me to do…not listen? Tch,” Your hand presses into the mattress, shoving you up. 

A hand splays over your back immediately to help. 

Goosebumps litter your arms as Keegan’s grip lightly digs into your gown, assisting you where your other arm can’t. Sparing him a glance, you watch with heat on your ears and neck as his attention remains solely fixated on you. Blue breaks open your skin and infects you with its chill. Liking the feel of it, you let it in and embrace it. 

When you’re sitting up, silence ensues, with Keegan’s eyes studying your body as you do the same. His hand remained on your back. 

Does he remember what he said? You wonder, locking on the thick wrappings under the man’s gown with a frown, Or was he too out of it?

“Feelin’ alright, Princess?” Your eyebrows raise as he tilts his head.

“I should be asking you that.”

“We both got shot,” Keegan shoots back, and the black around his eyes creases as he deadpans at you.

“You passed out – I didn’t. Don’t blame me because you decided to take a nap, Big Guy.”

“So, you’re just full of nicknames now, are you?” 

“Hm,” You smirk, voice low and teasing, “Perhaps…Raccoon Eyes.”

Keegan scoffs, turning his head away in exasperation. You were both the same people from hours ago, but something felt different – the air was lighter, bordering on sacred. Looking at each other with hesitant vulnerability, hearts yearning but not quite certain where to begin. So many jagged pieces of glass to buffer out, smooth along the edges, and pray that they became mosaics of brightly colored perfection that glittered in the sunlight. But you could still slice your fingers open, despite the years of practice and knowledge of that sacred art, feel the blood splatter the table and leak into the fine lines of your palm.

But, perhaps, it was time to try. 

“I guess I owe you one,” You admit awkwardly, suddenly avoiding eye contact and feeling sheepish. This was new to you, “You saved me from a sniper but I couldn’t see the one behind you.”

“You owe me twice, then,” When you send him a scalding look, he puffs out a breath to show it was a joke and continues as you roll your eyes and smile softly, “..but, uh,” Keegan clears his throat, “Don’t…worry about it, Kid,” Your eyes snap to his side profile, blinking in shock as his eyes rove the room, watching the cracks in the floors as you gape at him. Why…why did he sound like that? Like the gravel in his words had smoothed over and was suddenly a paved road with moss along the edges; gentle to the touch. And why did your heart skip a beat at it, “Forget about it.” 

“...What?” Your voice is small, genuine confusion whispered out as you watch the muscles in his face move. Keegan’s jaw was clenched, his nose scrunching as he rolled it and fixed his stance. It was adorable the way he was trying not to face you.

His head turns to his gear that Merrick had placed on the large table across the room. You watch him lightly limp to it, mind still trying to think through what was going on. His shredded hand goes to the back pocket of his folded cargo pants, and your ears twitch at a crinkling nose. The Ghost pulls out an empty chocolate wrapper and you feel your heart stop all together when he holds it aloft. He shuffles back over. 

“It was alright, little stale, but not bad,” Those steel blue eyes slide to yours, and your face heats; throat tightens. Since when has your pulse rampaged like that outside of a gun battle? Keegan’s lips quirk into a slow smirk at your expression, “Not bad at all. I’m sorry that I ate it all.”

You have to look away before you pass out, all confidence now gone and dignity stomped on when you realized that you liked when he looked at you with those eyes of his. Your hand clenches over the covers, finding that double meaning with brimming affection.

Oh, you just hated him…but your breath still gets stolen all the same.

“Yeah, well,” Your hand goes to scratch at the back of your neck to ground yourself, “Don’t get used to it, Kee. That bar was worth like fifty bucks if we’d have just sold it.”

You decide his laugh is better than any old chocolate bar, and that you wanted to taste it on your tongue until the very sun died out. Until your bones were bleach white from age.

There was no doubt he remembered what he had told you as you dragged him along, scared and wishing he would stay awake; that was simply judging by the sparkle in his pupil and the way he was facing you now. 

Smirking, you raise a brow and grab the man by the collar of his gown. 

Ah, what the hell. Better to start strong.

When you smash his lips to yours, you decide right then and there when Keegan melts into you, his hand going to grip the back of his head, that maybe being enemies wasn’t so bad at all.

#keegan p russ #keegan russ #call of duty keegan #cod fandom #cod fanfic #cod #cod ghosts #cod keegan #keegan x reader #keegan russ x reader #cod x reader #cod x you #x female reader #female reader

[pridepurgatorium]

— Differences To Some Are Similarities To Others

@ombrotherlylove2023 , Mammon and Beelzbub

Day 2: Arguments and Bonding Experience

Gluttony and greed are strikingly similar. Both ruled by the ever-consuming want. Greed is flashy in its presence, you know what a greedy person wants and you know what it means for them to not get it. Gluttony, however, is subtle, it’s never sated, it always needs to be fed. It creaks up on you, slowly, but always there. Maybe that makes it scarier.

Their respective avatars did not often fight. Mammon was drawn to materialistic items, cloths of the highest quality, befitting a god, clothes, of the flashiest styles, jewels, of the ones that shimmer the most, cars, the ones that go the fastest. Whatever it was, if it had a high price tag, Mammon had to have it.

Beel needed food. Not in the way we need to survive but rather to fill the bottomless void of him. Gluttony cannot be sated and therefore, he cannot be sated. He misses the days when he was satisfied. Since the fall, there has been nothing that will fill him. He’s empty. 

So when Mammon (that scumbag I tell you —Levithan [probably]) complains about his greed, angry he didn’t get a modeling gig and that he’d have to look for another one. Beel wants to snap. Mammon and him are similar, yes, but the difference is that at the very least, Mammon will be temporarily satisfied. Once he gets money and buys the next newest shiny thing, he will be full. It’s a patchwork fix and Beel knows it. He knows he shouldn’t get mad at Mammon and that they were perhaps the only two people to truly know what the curse of unending want feels like, but he does.

“At least you can be sated! Even if only temporarily!” 

Beel does not shout, maybe even mumbles it a little, but regardless, Beel is perhaps the most level-headed out of them, if he has a problem he will bring it up in a calm manner and have a discussion. He does not argue.

“What’dya say? What does that gotta do with anythin’?” Mammon asks.

“I’m sorry but I think I should text you my feelings so I don’t say anything rash, I’m angry right now.” Beel said, taking a moment to step back.

 BeelsBurgers: I am like a bottomless hole personified! You are more like a slot machine at a casino, contempt to wait for the next gambler, which, now that I say out loud sounds silly but it wasn’t meant to and I am mad!

Mamooney: LMAO. ur so silly.

BeelsBurgers: I’m just, I don’t know what to do and when I see you complaining about not having something you want it makes me angry and I don’t really know how to deal with it. 

BeelsBurgers: And I know it isn’t your fault and that if anything we should understand each other but I can’t help but feel like I got the short end of the stick. And also I’m sorry for getting mad at you.

Mamooney: I mean, it’s valid to be upset or angry because you feel I have something you will never have and I can’t begin to imagine what you go through on the day-to-day, but it’s unfair to only look at one part of me and say that one of us has it worse than the other. I’m the second oldest so my sin is stronger than yours, there’s a downfall right?

Mamooney: And I don’t mean to make this about me, I just wanted to show you an example. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to completely stop talking about what I want, it’s in my nature, but Beel I believe we are very similar.

Mamooney: So when you feel angry about your sin, I want you to talk to me!

Mamooney: i mean! only if you want! but why would you want to talk to the Great Mammon!?!

Mamooney: [Sticker sent: Laughing, menacing crow]

BeelsBurgers: Thank you Mammon, and thank you for chatting online. I have…difficulty properly expressing my emotions in person but I usually don’t get angry or anything.

Mammoney: Ofc! 

Mamooney: [Sticker sent: Proud devil holding peace signs]

Chat end

Maybe Beel would still get angry at Mammon but it would be ok, he knew, because he had his understanding big brother.

Ok so some things I wanted to note, I thought the idea to have them text eachother was really neat because I often have to do it myself anddd I know this isn’t Mammon centered please forgive me 🙏

#ombrotherlylove2023 #obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #om brothers #om mammon #om beelzebub #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #omswd mammon #omswd beel #mammon angst #mammon fluff #purgatory’s fanfics

[baekhvuns]

Hey bestie, RM defeated Barca in La Liga and Copa del Rey 11:1, 8:2 as well 😭 wtf was going on then, teams used pull such big numbers?! It still happens from time to time, but it seemed much more common in the 40s/50s. Bayern is on some hard shit for sure, they got the power. It's funny that Borussia can defeat Bayern, but they're still less known and don't do as well overall.

Zidane should have never left RM, man got us 3 CL wins!!!

I didn't expect the PSG x Al Nassr to go easy, but from what I've seen it was definitely personal 👁👁

I saw the Chelsea news, they need to do something because TEN PLACE in the Premier League??? And Liverpool 8? I told you, this is alternate reality, because Arsenal 1, Newcastle 3. Juve 10 in A Serie now 🙉

Also can I just say him and Busquets and then Pique were always my least favourite Barca players, but I didn't expect THIS

I don't know if I'll be able to feel bad for Charles, but I can understand that he and Harry are very different people who show emotions differently.

Honestly, SM sent Kai to weird Euro festivals, Exo and Taemin were in Berlin once, Shinee were in London. I heard NCT's concerts aren't selling as well as predicted, because of the prices. A whole mess. SuperM sold some of the questionable songs to me, idk why GOT isn't doing it. Tbh I understand BoA's disappointment and I'm pretty sure SM's shitty promo is part of the problem, but also consider this... the song and the MV sucks odhshwhrjabshsgahsvaha. Not her fault ofc, but yeah. Much ado about nothing

Oh you started iiiit, the beginning is a frustrating rideeeee. Eunhyuk is so sweet, but I hope he tells her soon. There were subtle hints from the beginning, him only having one earplug on and "ignoring" her (boy just couldn't hear 💔), in one chapter they were listening to heavy metal and he went "it's relaxing" and girlie went "????" 😭

Yes VHS (ancient times), I used to watch the first two HP movies religiously as a child! Ah yes Oppenheimer's cast! Miss Flo, Emily, Rami too... omg I totally forgot about that Adeline movie, but I watched it yes! I also liked Michiel in The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society with Lily James

One thing you need to know is that snakes aren't slimy, the texture of their skin depends on the species, it's soft and glossy, but a bit rough if the skin is more scale-like, it's honestly hard to explain. When I volunteered in Australia I had this corn snake friend who would wrap himself around my leg

That's what I've been saying, Pique was always an asshole and it's not just me being petty (well that too skshsjhdjsjsks), I never understood why Shakira got with him. 12 years??? Glad they didn't marry

Omg when CB called Ailee a cornball? But tbh I find it hard to believe Ailee didn't know about him, I remember seeing something about it 🙄

Yes, Baek, it's the colonialism <3 I always hated when I searched London and it showed me Canada?! The colonisers just plagiarised the names and called it a day. Googled Brampton and got whiplash lol

Can Hwa be my uncle and give me money 🤲🏻

Omg that Sehun tweet is my man Doyun! From the webtoon I ranted to you about, because it has an unnecessary love triangle and 3728 misunderstandings

Hoshi getting a sugar d*dd* lol, work I guess

Ohhh that Yeo art. We'll never see such long hair on him HA HA HA (pain)

Hwa usually looks soft barefaced, but he looked like such a bitch that day lmaooooo, yes bad boy. And That's why he is serving every time, he gets the best selection of clothes! - DV 💖

hello!!

Hey bestie, RM defeated Barca in La Liga and Copa del Rey 11:1, 8:2 as well 😭 wtf was going on then, teams used pull such big numbers?! It still happens from time to time, but it seemed much more common in the 40s/50s. Bayern is on some hard shit for sure, they got the power. It's funny that Borussia can defeat Bayern, but they're still less known and don't do as well overall.

im not HEARING ANY OF IT BFBDBD YOO UR RIGHT,, what was going on in the 40’s-80’s like 18-6’s and 10-0’s????? maybe the fields were smaller but damn, how easy was it back in the day 😭😭 bayern are monsters, im convinced they do some pogba witchcraft before matches bc how tf???? no yeah, borussia the only one who can defeat them properly yet we are blind when it comes to that club <3 rightfully so tbh <3

Zidane should have never left RM, man got us 3 CL wins!!! /// I didn't expect the PSG x Al Nassr to go easy, but from what I've seen it was definitely personal 👁👁

im seeing ancelotti being scouted by brazilian national team, which if he agrees (def won’t) would mean zidane rm 2.0 aND THEN HE CAN DO HIS MAGIC,, but apparently zidane might go psg, tbh he should, he can keep psg’s main ego in check,,, him messi and ney would actually be mAD

so personal that bro got punched by his own ex teammate 😭😭😭 i loved every bit of pettiness in it <3 the way psg we’re not even serious and roaming around and cr7 was playing like it’s his last fhwndhsj the biggest surprise / shock was the bollywood meet and greet so random???

I saw the Chelsea news, they need to do something because TEN PLACE in the Premier League??? And Liverpool 8? I told you, this is alternate reality, because Arsenal 1, Newcastle 3. Juve 10 in A Serie now 🙉

FBWKFBWKJCJCJC ITS SO EMBARRASSING LIKE WHAT WENT WRONG 😭😭😭 need chelsea to pick it up or pACK IT UP, arsenal and man city’s match is gonna be nuts,,, haaland v saka??? want arsenal to lose on purpose fbwkhfkw

Also can I just say him and Busquets and then Pique were always my least favourite Barca players, but I didn't expect THIS

NAH LITERALLY always had certain vibes from him, tho a great player,, the vibes were off maybe bc his eyes have this very naughty cleverish stare and was kind of unsettling AND NOW THIS IS MESSED,, the victim also refused whatever money he tried to pay her off with + he changed his testimony like 3 times and hers stayed the same,,, video evidence of club too apparently jail deserved,, hoping busquet’s leaves this summer

I don't know if I'll be able to feel bad for Charles, but I can understand that he and Harry are very different people who show emotions differently.

yeaaahh it’s tbh kinda annoying to hear him say crap about charles when bro did his best to be the best father to him, worked for will why not harry 😭😭😭my kid saying that to me, id be fuRIOUS

Honestly, SM sent Kai to weird Euro festivals, Exo and Taemin were in Berlin once, Shinee were in London. I heard NCT's concerts aren't selling as well as predicted, because of the prices. A whole mess. SuperM sold some of the questionable songs to me, idk why GOT isn't doing it. Tbh I understand BoA's disappointment and I'm pretty sure SM's shitty promo is part of the problem, but also consider this... the song and the MV sucks odhshwhrjabshsgahsvaha. Not her fault ofc, but yeah. Much ado about nothing

YEAH !!! YEAH !!! i think the most sm sent their groups FULLY outside was during like 2014-2015 era,, also bc sm was innovative at that time w music and music videos + promo,, sucks to see how they’ve become now,,, did not know about the nct thing! damn their seats are $$$$ and i thought blackpink’s were the expensive-est damn that much money for what 😭😭😭 (bp’s contract renewal is so funny bc why is it like football transfer contracts 😭😭)

i also think the way they have GOT promo kinda made their hype go down,, esp the sm town concert where they dropped the full stage performance before the mv + song’s release and the somewhat of a hype it was died down VERY QUICKLY,,, at least superm had a chemistry to show even if they were completely diff,, their song cohesion is nice unlike the gUGUGUGUGUGUGU yEAH the song is a no no, the mv looks like snsd’s you think mv but yassified 😭😭

Oh you started iiiit, the beginning is a frustrating rideeeee. Eunhyuk is so sweet, but I hope he tells her soon. There were subtle hints from the beginning, him only having one earplug on and "ignoring" her (boy just couldn't hear 💔), in one chapter they were listening to heavy metal and he went "it's relaxing" and girlie went "????" 😭

I DID AND WHEN HE APPEARED FBWMDKW SCREAMED AND WENT FOR A WALK INSIDE MY HOUSE 😭😭😭 STOPPPPP THATS SO SAD 😭😭😭 NOT RELAXINGJWJVCJC

Yes VHS (ancient times), I used to watch the first two HP movies religiously as a child! Ah yes Oppenheimer's cast! Miss Flo, Emily, Rami too... omg I totally forgot about that Adeline movie, but I watched it yes! I also liked Michiel in The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society with Lily James

anon, ur a fossil BFWMBDWMJCCK THE FIRST TWO ARE SO NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART,,, just being introduced to everyone and everything about the word magic ✨🤌🏻 the things i would do to wanna see that movie again for the very first time,,,, oppenheimer is def def going to be a blockbuster! cillian, rami, robert d jr, emily 😩😩 matt damon AND DEVON BOSTICK????? WIMPY KID???? this is like avengers but better omg,,, we need blake back idc idc her movies are so top tier >>> michiel is so fine, he’s my token white man <3 him in the haunting of the hill house too!!!! he chooses his movies really well!

One thing you need to know is that snakes aren't slimy, the texture of their skin depends on the species, it's soft and glossy, but a bit rough if the skin is more scale-like, it's honestly hard to explain. When I volunteered in Australia I had this corn snake friend who would wrap himself around my leg

i am fucking sorry, it would fucking do what.

That's what I've been saying, Pique was always an asshole and it's not just me being petty (well that too skshsjhdjsjsks), I never understood why Shakira got with him. 12 years??? Glad they didn't marry /// Omg when CB called Ailee a cornball? But tbh I find it hard to believe Ailee didn't know about him, I remember seeing something about it 🙄

no bc the way it was an open secret that he’d keep cheating on her??? found this on a reddit post and damn,, FOR 12 YEARS AND TWO KIDS U SPENT WITH HIM GOD DAMNIT SHAKIRA 😭😭😭 usually would take things from reddit as a grain of salt, but if it’s pique it’s true

HE DID???? NO WAY DHWJDHAKHDSK no srs her saying she doesn’t know him is like meghan markle saying she didn’t know who harry was, LIKE BRO AILEE UR FROM COLORADO 😭😭😭

Yes, Baek, it's the colonialism <3 I always hated when I searched London and it showed me Canada?! The colonisers just plagiarised the names and called it a day. Googled Brampton and got whiplash lol

IT SHOWS U CAN??? LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 we are so trapped in this colonialist era, we’re never getting rid of this 😭😭 the Liverpool thing really shocked me fbwndbjccj yeah…bramptons…like the birmingham / bradford of canada

Can Hwa be my uncle and give me money 🤲🏻/// Omg that Sehun tweet is my man Doyun! From the webtoon I ranted to you about, because it has an unnecessary love triangle and 3728 misunderstandings

can i be his niece’s aunt 🤲🏻 IS HE??? 👁👁 did u end up finishing the webtoon??

Hoshi getting a sugar d*dd* lol, work I guess /// Ohhh that Yeo art. We'll never see such long hair on him HA HA HA (pain)

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 hoshi x usher collab dropping soon u just know it too,,, THE WAY ATEEZ NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT GOING LONG HAIRED, ALL OF THEM, NEED TO GO LONG HAIRED GIVE US BIG BANG FANTASTIC BABY

Hwa usually looks soft barefaced, but he looked like such a bitch that day lmaooooo, yes bad boy. And That's why he is serving every time, he gets the best selection of clothes! - DV 💖

HE REALLY DID LOOK LIKE A BITCH 😭😭😭 but a bad one, his stoic face would be so perfect for runways, with long coats and hands in his pockets,,, the day he get’s with a brand is the day my dreams will begin to come true bfmwbddn

anon…🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ basic manners...morals??

HE 😭😭😭

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

[kazewhara]

can you do a scenario where genshin boys unintentionally made the reader jealous😳

(with a 🤏 bit of angst and then fluff)

Thank you dearest! I love ur works😭💖

jealousy, jealousy.

masterlist!

# — pairings: thoma, albedo x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, thoma, albedo, sucrose

# — summary: why do they have to be so... nice all the time?

# — warnings: n/a

# — tags: hc/drabble format, fluff, a teaspoon of angst, jealousy, healthy communication

# — notes: thanks so much for liking my works!! i didn't know which genshin boys you wanted, so i took a few liberties! i hope you still enjoy it, anon! as always, reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated! also, this isn't proofread -- none of my stuff is -- so i'm sorry for any mistakes!

✧ — 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚 — ✧

he probably wouldn't know that he was making you jealous

thoma has a very particular manner of speech that's both professional and flirty.. does that make sense?

like, none of us felt scolded when he forced us to pay attention during his housekeeping class, did we? no, we didn't.

his stern side is just as attractive as his playful side, making thoma a bit of a hot topic amongst the single people of narukami island

unfortunately for you, that means you have to make it known from time to time that he is not, in fact, a single man

and even more unfortunate for you, whenever you accompanied him on his errands through the city, you have to sit in silence whenever you see the people he's talking to get flustered by him

you know it's not necessarily his fault -- he's eye-catching, so it's only natural that people would be attracted to him

but sometimes, it kinda feels like he uses that to his advantage without thinking

(he does it on purpose, actually.)

like i said, he doesn't count it to be flirting -- really, he doesn't -- but when you see him wink at the textile shop owner, you suddenly doubt that.

"c'mon mio; help me out just this once, yeah?" thoma pleads with the shop owner.

thoma was sent to the city by ayaka to pick up some new fabrics and you decided to tag along. he was all too happy to take you with him. honestly, only thoma would consider errand running to be a cute date idea. you couldn't knock him for it, though; he was so quick to lace your fingers with his as soon as you stood by his side, and you were always a sucker for your boyfriend.

although, as you watch him try to bargain with ogura mio, you wonder if you're in too deep.

for some strange reason, mio decided to raise her prices last minute. it shocked thoma a lot, mostly because she was known for her generosity towards the kamisato clan. you watched thoma turn on the charm after a few minutes of failing to change her mind, and you saw his tactic start to take effect almost immediately.

"i'm sorry thoma, but i'm losing profit, and i have no choice but to ask for more from my customers, few as they may be." mio reasons.

thoma sighs and thinks for a moment. you'd help him figure this out, but you're distracted by the way his hand is starting to feel foreign in yours. "how about this," thoma shifts his weight onto his other leg, "it sounds like you're losing profit because of a lack of customers. why don't you give me the fabric so we can have miss ayaka promote it for you? sound like a plan?"

you know something’s wrong when you see mio's cheeks begin to match the color of her hair. what could she possibly be blushing for? all thoma did was give a reasonable suggestion, no? the silence drags on and you finally glance at thoma in question...

only to see him winking at mio with his most charming smile.

is he serious? you're literally standing right here.

you drop his hand after a few more seconds, muttering an excuse about wanting to look around. you silently hope thoma notices that something’s off, but he doesn't; he hums in acknowledgement and continues negotiating with the flustered textile shop owner.

now, another thing about thoma: he's very observant. especially when it comes to you

but when it comes to himself, not so much

you try to reason with yourself that this is normal -- that he's just being ni

this is how he always is with everyone, right? even you!

...for some reason, that makes your stomach drop even more. you feel sick.

does he... really treat you no different from everyone else?

you begin to spiral in your own head, fully unaware that you've come to a complete stop

large hands suddenly cover your eyes, making you jump. "guess who?"

it's thoma, obviously. normally, you'd play along, give a couple wrong answers just to see him pout, but right now, you're trying to convince yourself that he doesn't do this with others. by the time you open your mouth to give an answer, thoma's already uncovered your eyes and made his way in front of you, his eyebrows drawn in.

"are you feeling okay?" he asks. "you sorta threw my hand down earlier." he presses the back of his hand to your forehead. your heart pounds in your chest but you hold your breath in an attempt to get it to stop.

you hadn't realized you were so abrupt with him earlier. you give up on trying to talk yourself out of this jealous hole you've dug yourself into. knowing thoma, if you lied about being okay, he'd definitely press you about it later, so you throw your apprehension to the wind.

"do i mean anything to you? at all?" you mutter a curse under your breath as soon as you finish your sentence. that's not at all what you meant to ask, but you couldn't deny that that's what's on your mind. did you mean anything to him?

thoma looks taken aback by your question and pulls you to a less crowded area. "what are you talking about?" he cups your face and you swear he's trying to search your soul with those green eyes of his. "you mean everything to me. everything and more. where is this coming from? did someone tell you something?"

from the bottom of your heart, you know he means that. you twist the promise ring on your right hand. you wouldn't have this if thoma didn't love you -- he wouldn't have promised himself to you during yoimiya's firework show if he didn't love you. but the little green demon on your shoulder whispers thoughts of jealousy into your ear, and it's too difficult to ignore it.

you avert your eyes. "you're a friendly guy, thoma." you start. "i get that. but you're... too friendly sometimes. i just--" your breath hitches. no tears, you tell yourself. "it looked like you were flirting with mio, okay? it looks that way with a lot of people, and i feel like you treat me the same as everyone else."

you exhale heavily as soon as the words are out. it felt nice, letting all of that off your chest. had you kept that to yourself, you think your relationship would have taken a turn for the worse.

thoma's hands don't leave your face. he pulls you in and kisses you so sweetly, you think you see stars. embarrassed, you put your hands on his chest and push yourself away, your face burning. "thoma, we're in public!" you hiss. "why would you--"

"i'm sorry," he says. when he catches you not looking at him, he tilts your head towards him so you are. thoma's always valued sincerity, and one of the ways he shows it is by making intense eye contact. "really, i am. i'm so sorry; i didn't realize i was making you feel that way." you look away shyly, and thoma taps your chin twice, forcing you to look back at him. "is there anything i can do to fix it?"

the little jealousy demon seems to evaporate as he speaks. he's so genuine and attentive; you have no doubt that he'd change if you asked him to. the archons may have blessed you with a vision, but you smile when you realize that that's not the only thing they've blessed you with.

you shake your head. "i don't want you to change your personality for me, thoma." you seriously don't. thoma is defined by his dutiful behavior and his generosity -- if he switched it up, people would surely notice. "i was just-- um." your cheeks begin to flare again. you know you were jealous, but you don't want to say it out loud. "i just wanted to tell you how i felt. that's it."

"is that really it?" thoma says after a brief pause. surely, he's figured it out, because there's a knowing grin starting to split his face. "you were jealous, weren't you?"

you turn around. "okay, look, we talked about it, right? let's go back now."

behind you, thoma chuckles. "you totally were! you were jealous!" he teases, laughing harder when you turn back to glare at him. he takes your hand again and gently rubs the back of your hand with his thumb. "you're cute when you're jealous, you know that? you were pouting a second ago."

"please shut up."

thoma snorts. "alright, alright. but i promise, i'll be more careful, okay? don't you ever doubt your worth again. can you promise me that?"

how could you not, when he looks at you like that? you feel pride swell in your chest knowing that this look -- this look of pure adoration -- was reserved for you and you only.

you hum affirmatively. "i promise. thank you."

✧ — 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 — ✧

goddamn pretty boys and their stupidly pretty faces, DAMMIT.

if you thought thoma was bad at not realizing when you were jealous, then you're in for a ride with albedo

albedo isn't socially inept, it's just that he's... a little slower on the uptake due to his lack of interest in social interaction

so he'll do things that may be considered intimate with people that aren't you, and while the person he's interacting with may be freaking out, he's just going about his business like everything is perfectly normal

the thing about sucrose and albedo's relationship is that it's strictly professional. anybody can see that.

you don't feel any kind of way about them working in close proximity because it's REALLY obvious that sucrose admires albedo's alchemical knowledge, and albedo cherishes sucrose as his lab partner, so to speak

but sucrose isn't as bad with people as albedo is, so whenever he does something a little odd, she'll hesitate to correct him

today, she takes far too long to do so.

the scene you walked in on was one straight out of a romance novel.

you'd decided to pay albedo a visit since you weren't working for the day. commissions were few and far between, so why wouldn't you want to spend time with your boyfriend? you packed a lunch for the two of you and walked to his lab in mondstadt; thankfully, he wasn't returning to dragonspine for another week or two.

but when you arrived, you saw sucrose pressed to albedo's chest. his arms were wrapped around her in a protective manner; one hand was on the back of her head, pressing it to his shoulder while his other arm was wrapped around her waist.

"are you alright?" albedo asks softly. "that was very dangerous."

sucrose's shoulders are rising and falling quickly. was she scared of something? "yes, i-i... thank you, mister albedo, i--"

"uh..." the noise comes out of your mouth before you can stop it. you couldn't comprehend what you were seeing; your brain launched into analytical mode so quickly that you went blank. the alchemists both look your way and sucrose all but leaps out of albedo's arms, her face nearly vermillion.

"i-it's not what it looks like!" she stammers, adjusting her glasses on her face.

well, duh, you think. you caught sight of the shattered beakers on the ground behind sucrose. whatever substance they were holding was sizzling on the ground. it's incredibly obvious that albedo pulled her out the way to avoid severe injury. accidents like this were fairly common -- this was normal.

but, another part of you starts to wonder, how long were they like that? why did sucrose only pull away when you made your presence known? you quickly try your best to stamp out the ugly feeling rising in your throat and offer sucrose an understanding smile. "what're you telling me that for? i heard the shatter from outside." you're lying. "i'm glad you're alright, sucrose. you're lucky albedo has quick reflexes."

too quick, something inside you hisses. you clench your jaw.

sucrose looks relieved by your understanding. "th-thank you..." she spots the lunch in your hand. "oh, is it that time already? mister albedo, i'm going to take my lunch break; is that alright?"

albedo, who'd been silent this whole time, nods curtly. he's eyeing the glass on the ground with a frown. "go on, sucrose. take your time."

sucrose leaves in a hurry, leaving the two of you alone.

you don't say anything for a while. albedo moves to start cleaning up the mess and you seat yourself across the room while you try to sort your thoughts.

you'd lied -- rather boldly, actually -- about hearing the glass fall. you figured that if you said that out loud, you'd be able to trick yourself into thinking that the incident had just occurred. if that was the case, then that would mean they weren't locked in an embrace for too long. but another part of you -- a part that you've never had trouble keeping in check -- refuses to be fooled. it feeds you suggestions -- suggestions you hate.

sucrose took too long to move, it tells you. clearly, she was enjoying that. how often do you think she does that when you're not around? did you see how albedo was holding her? so tightly; like he cared about her.

of course he cares about her. he has to -- she's literally his work partner. you pinch your nose bridge as you try to reason with yourself. you're so absorbed in your thoughts that you don't hear albedo calling you until he raises his voice. "sorry? did you call me?" you ask, giving albedo the same fake smile you gave sucrose.

albedo doesn't look convinced. for someone who has trouble reading the comfort levels of other people, he always seems to know when you're not alright. teal eyes observe you closely. "something’s on your mind," he says.

"what? no, nothing's bothering me."

albedo makes a sound. "i never said that something was bothering you," he tilts his head to the side. "i said that something was on your mind. so, something is bothering you, then?"

damn. you thought he wouldn't notice that. hell, you didn't even notice. "how'd you know something was on my mind?"

"well," albedo makes his way over to you, "i'd been calling your name for the past... five minutes, i believe. you usually respond right away."

that makes your face burn for some reason. albedo continues.

"that, and you didn't hug me when you saw me." he almost looks dejected when he says that, a small crease forming between his brows before it's gone, smoothed over by his usual expression. "you always show me lots of affection when you visit, but you've been here for over ten minutes, and i've received nothing. therefore, something must be wrong."

you're a little lost for words. you didn't think much of the whole hugging thing, and you're caught between being jealous and being endeared by the way albedo seems to be complaining about the lack of affection. you open your mouth to tease him, but quickly shut it. you should probably address what happened first, but how do you explain that you didn't want to hug him because you thought you'd be able to smell sucrose on him?

"is that so?" albedo says. his eyes widen by a fraction and you slap your hand over your mouth, your face going up in flames. you said that out loud!

"that's, uh..." you swallow back any excuses. there's no point in lying to him. if you don't bring things to albedo's attention, then it may as well be non-existent. you sigh and come clean. "this is... really stupid, but i just... didn't like seeing you and sucrose hugging. it made me feel--"

"jealous?" albedo finishes your sentence. you gape at him. how did he figure that out so quickly? you nod slowly, and albedo hums. "i see... do you think that sucrose has feelings for me?"

"what? no!" you shake your head quickly. "no, i know that there's nothing going on; i saw the beakers, i know you were just keeping her safe." your eyes drift to where the mess once was. "i don't know why i felt jealous, okay? but i did, and it felt terrible."

albedo soaks up your words like a sponge. you can always tell when he's internalizing something -- his eyes seem to lose their usual focus as the gears turn. it takes him a lot less time than you thought it would to understand this. "i'd read once that lovers experience jealousy," he muses. "it's a little interesting to be on the other end of it."

the other end? "have... have you been jealous before?" the words sound ridiculous coming out of your mouth, but albedo nods, unashamed.

"quite a few times, actually. i think the common link is the cavalry captain."

"what?!"

albedo -- sweet, innocent albedo -- frowns at your outburst. "did i say something perplexing?" he must really not know why you're shocked. "i do feel jealous whenever you're around captain kaeya; you two appear very close all the time, and he touches you a lot, so i... why are you laughing?"

you couldn't help it. albedo was so straightforward with you about everything. most people would take that kind of secret to their grave, but not your boyfriend. you double over with laughter. at least you weren't alone in your feelings. it's reassuring to know that it went both ways.

you wiped a tear from your eyes. "i'm not laughing at you, 'bedo, just," you giggle, "i felt stupid for thinking that way. you always know how to make me feel better."

albedo looks adorably confused. "i'm not sure i understand."

of course he doesn't. "don't worry about it." you smile and make your way over to him, planting a light kiss to his cheek. your smile only grows as you watch a faint blush dust his cheeks. "i love you, albedo."

albedo recovers from his moment and pulls you in by your waist. you melt into him with practiced ease and take a deep breath. you chortle to yourself; he doesn't smell like sucrose at all.

"and i, you." his reply is spoken so quietly, you almost miss it. his hold on you tightens a little. "i'd appreciate it if you'd keep hugging me when you arrive. i... i enjoy it a lot."

you struggle a bit to pull away since he's holding you so tightly, but once you do, you kiss his lips softly, relishing in the dusty pink that colors his face. "anything you want, 'bedo."

✧ hey anon! i hope you enjoyed it! i didn't want to over do it and write too much, so if you want this scenario from other boys (cause i actually have more in mind, LOL) just lemme know!

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #z scribbles #z box #genshin thoma #thoma x reader #albedo #albedo kreideprinz #genshin albedo #albedo x reader

[kidhawks]

(@ the commission pres is hawks' mom au) please DO explain. i want all ur thoughts

sorry it took me so long to get to this! there’s just so many possibilities that i spent ages trying to make a coherent thought out of it ;;

basic concept: the president had hawks on purpose to make him into a commission agent

i came up with a whole ass AU which is definitely gonna get shit on by canon any second now but...... let me have this. twenty three years ago the commission realised that society needed a new kind of hero, one with a strong quirk who could inspire and protect while also working from the shadows, completely loyal to the hpsc. they decided to make this hero themselves. the president (who wasn’t the president at the time but an agent of the commission, though i’m just gonna call her president for ease) was dedicated to the cause and volunteered her own strong telekinesis quirk for the project. a suitable quirk match was found with a winged mutant who agreed to an arranged marriage (yes, this is meant to parallel endeavor’s marriage)

great news: it worked! they had baby keigo whose winged-telekinesis quirk already seemed promising as an infant (very good sign). bad news: the man she married, takami, an honest guy from a hard background whose family really needed the marriage money, realises he’s not as indifferent to his baby as he thought he’d be. he thought he was okay with his child being trained from birth into a super-soldier, but now that he sees little keigo for real, he can’t let it happen. he tries to appeal to the president, honestly thinking she’ll feel the same way. that’s their baby.

she uh.... doesn’t take kindly to the news. can’t he see it? it’s not that she doesn’t care for him or their child, she just understands about the greater good. the life of one child for society is a small price to pay, even if it’s their child. she’s come too far to allow sentiment to trip her up.

so takami takes keigo and runs.

the commission can’t have him going to the police or making any of this public of course, so before he can get that far, they frame him as a villain so he’ll never be trusted again. he took something precious from them, a vital asset, the future of society itself. he stole it.

they call him Takami the Thief.

they say he’s a murderer too, for good measure.

and so begins his new life as a villain on the run with his infant son. he learns pretty quickly that once you’re branded a criminal, regardless of whether it’s true or not, that’s the only path you can take to survive. the commission agents they send after him are out to kill him and take his child away; he doesn’t have time to play nice. in self defence, he becomes the murderer they say he is. to feed and clothe keigo, he steals and robs, earning the thief moniker for real and wearing it like a crown. he becomes vicious to survive, the raptor of fukuoka, gaining himself a reputation as a feral animal.

but not around keigo. he loves his son more than the sky. he’s doing this all for him. the commission will never have keigo, even if sometimes he thinks his son would have a better life with the commission than he does constantly travelling between trash-ridden buildings to stay alive... but at least with his father keigo will know what it’s like to be loved. with the commission, he’d be nothing but a tool.

but as much as takami tries hard to be a good father, he’s still one man under a lot of pressure. some days he’s out thieving for a big haul that’ll keep them warm for weeks, but it means leaving keigo alone in a square motel room for days. sometimes he can’t get enough food and keigo goes hungry. (sometimes dad drinks and gets scary).

they’ve been lying low for a few months, takami even beginning to hope the commission’s moving on from them, when keigo does something dad told him to never do. he uses his quirk in public. but the crash happened so fast, and the people were going to die, and it was like his body moved on instinct to save them. he flies as fast as he can from the scene. he knows he should tell his dad what happened. they’ll need to move on now, all because of him, and dad will be so mad. keigo likes it here too.

... he says nothing.

when the men in suits show up and swarm their apartment, he knows it’s his fault. it’s his fault when dad’s taken away by endeavor too.

anyway, the commission gets their asset back safe and sound, if not requiring a little training to get rid of some unfortunate habits. hawks needs some help to understand that his dad was a very bad man who starved and neglected him.

they don’t tell him about his real mother; that’d just confuse him. she oversees his training from afar, interacting only when necessary, and as project hawks proves a success, she rises in the ranks until she’s the president by the time he’s fifteen.

his old life is a bad dream he’d rather leave behind. maybe he is just a tool to the commission, but it’s better than the life he would’ve had with his dad, never loved at all.

#there’s some gaps in this i’d fill if i could be bothered to right now but know that i acknowledge them and have thought abt them lmao #i have more thoughts on hawks and the pres’ relationship! in fact that was what this post was meant to be about! #but the exposition took me by the shoulders and said RAMBLE! DO IT! anyway i’ll spill those... another time. prod me idk #is this born out of a desire to see a good single dad in mha. maybe #‘’’good’’’ in a certain sense of the word. better than the president at least #bnha spoilers #hawks posting #child abuse tw #alcohol mention #thief takami #hawks #hpsc #president mom au #ahahahah is that what i should call it #headcanons #angst #neglect tw

[twomanyideas]

Somewhere Only We Know

A Collaboration by @mdelpin and @oryu404​

Gratsu Weekend 2021 Prompt: Protect Pairing(s): Gray x Natsu, Ultear & Gray

And if you have a minute, why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So why don't we go somewhere only we know? Somewhere only we know

-Somewhere Only We Know by Keane

AO3

Summary: Their combined might hadn’t been enough to take down Zeref, and the one thing Gray might have been able to do to stop him was the one thing he’d promised Natsu he’d never do.

He should have done it anyway.

If he had, they would never have been captured.

0-0

It was Gray’s obsession with fulfilling his promise to his father that had brought him to Alvarez. He’d wanted to find Zeref, and that goddamned book of E.N.D. It had been a stupid idea; he realized that now. But he’d been grieving, and he’d never expected Natsu to track him down.

He’d never expected a lot of things.

Natsu had tried to convince him to return home, but Gray had been too stubborn to listen, and he’d recognized that despite his protests, Natsu had wanted to fight Zeref as well. After all, there’d never been an enemy they couldn’t defeat once they put their shit aside and set their minds to it, and if they died trying- well, he doubted either of them would regret it.

They’d decided they would fight together to make that bastard pay for everything he’d done. For the lives he and his followers had taken with his magic, for the demons he’d created, who had caused so much suffering and destruction. And in doing so, they would protect their Fairy Tail family and prevent any additional bloodshed.

Their combined might hadn’t been enough to take down Zeref, and the one thing Gray might have been able to do to stop him was the one thing he’d promised Natsu he’d never do.

He should have done it anyway.

If he had, they would never have been captured.

He would never have learned who Natsu was.

Never would have said those hateful words he didn’t mean.

Never would have seen the light fade from Natsu’s eyes as he accepted the truth of it.

Gray had let his rage consume him at Zeref’s revelations, and he’d hurt the one person he’d always loved. He’d really fucked up this time.

They were all but helpless now. Their minds and bodies locked by Invel’s spell, their magic contained by sealing cuffs. No way to struggle, nothing to do but live inside their heads while they waited to see what would happen to them.

How were they going to make it out of this one when no one knew where they were?

It couldn’t end like this, not after everything they’d been through together. There had to be a way out, they just needed to figure out what that was, and soon. But first, Gray needed to make Natsu listen to him so that he could take his words back and beg for his forgiveness.

But the words wouldn’t come, no matter how much he tried.

Hours passed in uneasy silence until a lacrima lit up the inside of their cell, broadcasting its feed in vivid color and sound. The screen showed other prisoners, robbed of their dignity and forced to perform sexual acts. They seemed barely human. Used, abused, and reduced to nothing but toys.

It didn’t matter how much Gray tried to look away or willed his eyes closed; they remained riveted to that screen, even as the sounds and images made his stomach wrangle up in disgust.

Soon that would be them.

The message was obvious: their punishment had yet to begin.

Gray didn’t much care what happened to him, but the thought of anyone but him touching Natsu that way was enough to make his blood boil. They belonged to each other and no one else. That was how it had always been.

After what seemed like forever, the lacrima finally turned off, revealing Natsu’s strangled cries as he tried to break through the collar using brute force.

“Stop it!” Gray pleaded, “You’re only hurting yourself.”

Natsu stopped his efforts, but he still refused to look at him.

Guilt crushed Gray even more than the thought of what the future had in store for them. All these years had passed, and he hadn’t learned a goddamn thing. Just like when he’d gone after Deliora as a child, convinced that he was strong enough to defeat him, he had underestimated his enemy’s power. Ur had paid the price then, and now both he and Natsu would suffer a fate worse than death for his folly.

“This is all my fault,” Gray strained against the spell, stretching his arm enough so that his fingers grazed Natsu’s hand. “I won’t let them touch you.”

He stopped short of making a promise, but he could feel his eyes burn with rage at his impotence.

“Maybe, uhm... maybe if I agree to join him, Zeref will let you go.”

Natsu had finally spoken, but his words were not what Gray had wanted to hear. What was the idiot thinking? Like he’d ever let that happen.

Gray couldn't care less that Zeref had been waiting for Natsu for hundreds of years, or that it had been his brotherly love that had brought Natsu back to life. His heart might have been in the right place once, but it had become corrupted over the years as his mind deteriorated. A life by Zeref’s side would be a nightmare for Natsu, forced to become the demon that Igneel had tried so hard to protect him from. Gray would never allow that outcome, certainly not for his sake.

“No! Besides, we both know I’d never leave without you.”

“Then you’re an idiot.” Natsu declared, turning away to stare at the wall. “Because there’s nothing here worth saving.”

“Don’t you dare say that! You know I didn’t mean any of the shit I said.”

“No. You were right. I’m E.N.D, Gray. A Book of Zeref, no different from Deliora or Mard Geer. You even came here to kill me.“

Gray sighed, realizing there was no easy fix to what he’d done. It was going to take them a long time to get through this. Time they didn’t have.

“None of that matters now. You saw that lacrima. Who knows how long we’ll be able to stay us. I don’t want to waste any of it arguing about things we can’t do anything about.”

“I’m sorry.”

Gray could hear the tremble in Natsu’s voice and it broke his heart. Why was this happening now?

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Natsu. None of this is your fault, it’s his. All you’ve ever done is help others.”

He grabbed Natsu’s hand in his and pulled with all his might until he could wrap his arms around his boyfriend, the chain from their collars dangling between them. “I’m so sorry I got you into this,” Gray murmured into Natsu’s ear as he ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair.

“Sealing cuffs didn’t work on those Tartaros demons since they used curses. Do you feel anything like that at all? Anything that can help break your collar?”

Natsu shook his head, looking defeated for the first time since Gray had known him.

“Oh well, it was worth a shot,” Gray shrugged, acting like he wasn’t giving the matter any importance, for Natsu’s sake.

“Just promise me you won’t do what you said before. Whatever happens, I want to stay with you.”

“I don’t want... that to happen to you.”

“I don't want that to happen to you, either.”

They lay down on one of the cots in their cell, clinging to each other tightly. Gray refused to let go, fully aware that things could change at any moment. He reveled in Natsu’s warmth, letting his fingers travel Natsu’s skin, trying to soothe away the hurt his words had caused. Over and over, Gray reminded Natsu of how good he was, how much he loved him, and how he’d rather die than live without him. But Natsu remained eerily silent. It worried him.

Gray!

Gray heard a voice calling out to him, waking him up from the little sleep he’d managed, but it was too faint for him to recognize who it belonged to. Natsu was still snuggled up against him as he slept. Listening to his snores made Gray smile. He could almost pretend they were back home, their capture nothing more than a nightmare he’d finally woken from.

He opened his eyes to find that although nothing had changed in their cell, that voice still called out to him. It felt closer this time.

Gray!

Was that Ultear? How?

“Ultear?” He called out to her, even though he realized there was no way she could be there.

But against all of his expectations, Ultear appeared before him a moment later, looking as young as she had at Akane Beach months earlier.

“Good, you heard me. I had a hard time locking on to you.”

“How did you- I saw you, you were...”

“Old?” Ultear laughed, “I was. I cast a spell during the Dragon King Festival, thinking I could turn back time and fix everything, but it didn’t quite turn out that way. Even though it used up all my life force, I could only get one minute back.”

“You saved me.”

“Yes, and thanks to that I can do this now.”

“You mean you can get us out of here?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m not really here, not in the way you think. I exist only as a concept within a time distortion. I can’t get you out, but I can offer you an escape.”

“You and Natsu, you’ve both died and were brought back to life through magical interference. Because of that, you’re technically living outside of time.”

“Ultear?” Natsu sat up, rubbing his eyes, “Why can’t I smell you?”

Ultear moved closer until Gray thought she was going to touch the bars of their cell. Her expression became apologetic when her body went straight through them.

“Not now, Natsu,” Gray peered at Ultear, “You said you can offer us an escape, what did you mean?”

“I can take your souls with me. You would escape the horrible future that awaits you and exist as I do, and you’d be together.”

“So we’d die?” Natsu frowned.

“Not exactly,” Ultear shook her head. “Your souls would pass on, leaving your bodies behind. They’ll still suffer your fate, but you won't experience any of it. You must decide quickly, they’ll come for you in about one minute.”

“I don’t care if we die, we both have once already,” Gray said resolutely, his mind inevitably going back to the images of molestation on the lacrima, once again thinking that would soon be their daily fare. “At least this way, we can stay together. Or would you rather live out your remaining days as a slave for those sick perverts?”

“Of course not! I just wanted to underst- wait a minute... When the hell did you die?”

“Boys!” Ultear snapped, her tone reminding Gray of Ur whenever she tried to break up fights between him and Lyon.

He’d never see him again, or Erza, or any of their other friends. But odds were they wouldn’t have, anyway. From the sad look on Natsu’s face, Gray could tell he was having similar thoughts.

“What do you say, Flame Brain? You ready to spend eternity with me?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t like I could get rid of you, anyway,” Natsu joked weakly, a small smile breaking through his grief.

The sound of footsteps approaching their cell grew louder, and Gray snuck in one last kiss.

“Grab hold of my hands and don’t let go of each other,” Ultear offered each of them a hand and they grabbed on, clasping each other’s hands tightly. There was no pain, although they felt a slight tearing sensation when their souls separated from their bodies and entered the time dimension.

Neither of them looked back.

It saddened Gray that Ultear had needed to come to his rescue once again, but he was grateful. At least this time, no one had died to save him.

They had earned that much.

Ultear tried to explain the rules of the time dimension to them, but they didn’t really get them. It was hard to understand what was real, but they didn’t worry about it much. It was just somewhere only they knew. A place that existed just for them, where they could bicker, laugh, and love each other for as long as time existed.

Sometimes Gray worried that Ultear’s rescue had all been a dream, a place he escaped to to avoid what was happening to his and Natsu’s bodies. He thought if that were true; it was a kindness he shouldn't question.

Either way, it didn’t matter. They had their magic, and they had each other. That was all they could ever ask for.

They discovered they could visit just about any place they remembered, but their favorite spot was still the river by the old Fairy Tail building. It held so many memories for them, and they spent countless days sparring and coming up with endless competitions. The dumber the better.

#fairy tail #gratsu #gratsuweekend2021 #gray x natsu #fics #other #media

[thelonelynindroid]

Ok ok so ep6,,,

• first off its rlly cold here so all that damn rain has me feeling frozen

•idk why but the tone of this episode felt so different?? Could be bc of the rain too tbh

• GANDÍA IS OFFICIALLY DEAD WE'RE POPPING CHAMPAGNE 🥂

• Alicia is so unhinged. And Sergio basically admitting that he was glad of the opportunity for the heist?? Mannn ur fucked up buddy

• I'm glad Raquel and Rio made up later bc what she said to him at the beginning was so damn insensitive?? Like imagine if Sergio got killed and someone told HER that it was all her fault like 5mins after 🤨🤨

• Can Ángel just quit the police force and expose Tamayo already. Cmon we all know you wanna do it

• the fact that those guys at the ice sea machinery place in the flashback (already forgot where it was rip) would just give a piece of powerful machinery to a guy literally dressed like a supervillain is so funny. And for a PRICE no less

• Denver kissing two different ppl on the same couch in the same day 😭 definitely gonna come back to bite you in the ass honey

• Sergio and Alicia teaming up; kinda predictable at this point but I AM v interested to see where this goes 👀

And final bonus point. REALLY GONNA LEAVE MARSEILLE STRANDED ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD LIKE THAT?? THE GUY CARRYING HALF THIS HEIST?? OH HELL NO MR GENIUS IKYFL 🙄

#it so doesn't feel right with both Nairobi and tokyo gone. something is just missing now #it was a mistake killing BOTH of them off idc #la casa de papel #money heist rewatch #alexprobablytalksshit #s5ep6

[chateautae]

elphie anon 🐘

I read MID ch7 instantly when you posted it and had to take a couple of days to just to comprehend... uhm, some... feelings. So forgive me, since I've bottled this up and will result in a long message ... but the work is just so good I can't resist showering you with praise.

You live in my mind rent free.

I can't describe how cute and domestic everything was in the early parts then hOt, then just ditty dotty destroyed me in the later scenes.

The smut was... *clears throat, wipes forehead daintily*... it made me feel stuff that I should otherwise be used to in esp in this site, but when mid Tae told YN to behave I think it took my brain minutes to comprehend that I'm just reading a wonderfully crafted piece. And that no, I should not feel my knees to weaken and toes curl, but they did anyway. Gotta say, the mind is a powerful thing.

But as it turns out, SAMMY IS SO MUCH POWERFUL.

The whole trip with Jimin really solidified what was coming in the end of this chaoter, it tastefully and comprehensively vocalised the conversation about this whole feelings ordeal first with YN, and paved way for that earth shattering ending. I can't help but remember thay quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower when I was reading: "we accept the love we think we deserve."

Damn, really. While it hurts to see and more on resonate with how hard it is to accept love from others after certain unfortunate relationships (yn), I really commend you on choosing to write this realistically. I think her mindset towards this type of stuff, while not really the best, is well-built enough to show how hard and conflicting it is to see yourself have worth for love. And it isn't easy to change in a matter of moments, but it is worth changing this perception just as it is worth seeing and admitting when you love someone.

For me, it's also worth seeing that sometimes the love others give us are dependent on how much they treasure us, and that's theirs alone. It's not something that we get to decide no matter how much we think we shouldn't hsve it, but something that, at least here, is something they spend just as much thought and effort to ensure and choose.

Tae felt it in every chapter, intensely too, with his friends as witnesses. Of course deceit can always happen, but sincerity too. You can't punish yourselves for the deciet that others do. it's their lie, faulting the victim (hate u kiseok) won't do anything, and carefulness doesn't always mean you're always right about others' intentions. I cried so much for both of them, but I guess that we can't always understand love from each's point of view as clearly as they can; we just have to learn to accept it. And trust that maybe, or surely, that they do love us, and us them.

Your talent and hardwork speaks so genuinely to my mind when I read your work; I can't say enough to thank you for letting the world see this.

... And is it true? The murmurings from the street, the rumors falling from lips? MAKE-UP SEX? YN BTCH U BETTER HEAL THAT HAND fully OR I WILL BE THE ONE TO CAREFULLY MEDICATE U SO TAE CAN FUCK YOU INTO THE DEEP DIMENSIONS OF HIS LOVE AND CARE FOR U. AND U DO THE SAME TOO BTCH BETTER KISS ALL UR FEELINGS INTO HIM.

cuz if u don't, then i shall join forces with jimin and hana.

sorry for such a long mssg huhu, and for the bad interpretation chahahzhJJJjssjjakwks

NEVER SAY SORRY FOR LONG MESSAGES I’M A CERTIFIED WHORE FOR THEM 😤

“You live in my mind rent free” Showering me with praise??? I’M- I’m crying?? I don’t even know what to say omg 😭 ASLDJLDKJ please dom!tae has that power, and it’s really only a sneak peek of what happens when you disobey him because let’s be real, Y/N will do it again sksksk. Oh God, you’re so correct, I think it summarizes perfectly what’s going on between these two. In a sense, they’re both rejecting each other on the premise either of them is not deserving of the other’s love. “We accept the love we think we deserve”, such a beautiful quote that can explain two broken people trying to find a way to love each other 🥺

You’re correct again, the human mind is a wonderfully intricate system, and oddly takes a few seconds to destroy yet years to rebuild. Y/N’s mindset comes from not only years under the emotional (and sometimes physical we’ve seen) abuse she’s endured from her mother which can largely impact any child, but also from someone she was in love with for a long time only have that love taken advantage of and abused as well. It’s crippling to anyone’s mentality and skews the idea of love for them almost eternally. 

Taehyung is different because he’s never been in love before, it’s new and shiny and bright and so he fell hard and fast, he has no qualms about admitting he’s in love either because he doesn’t know the painful experience of falling in love and desires to finally be in love (only until this argument ofc) while Y/N denies it because she knows love is painful and doesn’t want to go through it again. 

Though you’re correct yet again, it will present itself in future chapters but ultimately, love as pure as theirs is unconditional and cannot be changed nor forgotten. It won’t matter what the other thinks, because the other will love them unconditionally, or love them until they believe them, because love is ours to give and cannot be defined nor appraised by any price. But alas, we can never truly know how someone else feels about us, so another great point, love is scary because we must trust in the depths of our hearts somebody loves us the same, and we must see how these two decide to trust each other on that.

You’re so kind for even taking the time to write such a long message elphie anon omg, it took me days to reply to you because I didn’t even know how to begin, but I had the stupidest grin reading your lovely message 🥺💕 thank you so much, truly, for always being so sweet and interactive. 

ALSO WAITTT “SO TAE CAN FUCK YOU INTO THE DEEP DIMENSIONS OF HIS LOVE AND CARE FOR U” WHY AM I CACKLING AT THIS I FELT THIS IN MY SOULLL OMG but yes I’m currently writing the smut scene and all I have to say is there’s a LOT going on, YES it shall be categorized as rough and nasty yet soft and passionate makeup sex because I'm a desperate whore😌

#fic: maybe i do #feedback #elphie anon!!

[words-writ-in-starlight]

So I’ve feelings about ur two ficlets of NHS offering NMJ his body and when I said feelings I meant that I’m crying like a baby rn but I’ve to ask bc I’m a sadist how do u think LXC reacted when he realises that NMJ is back? Happy to kinda see his sworn brother? Guilty bc of his part in NMJ death? Guilty bc he knows that NMJ would have wanted him to take care in NHS but apparently he did not do a good job about that? :)

Ha HA, sorry about this incredibly dialogue-light 3zun Angst Chat that doesn’t even have NMJ in it.  I had to cut it in half because it got long and I have another ask about this exact concept anyway so w/e.

(the Nie Brothers Ritual Thing, which I’m increasingly starting to think I should title)

It’s Wangji who warns him.  And it is a warning, make no mistake, with the precise way that Xichen’s brother comes and sits at the table and pours them both exacting measures of tea.  Wangji visits him with the sort of meticulous scheduling that they once kept to when visiting Madam Lan, and today he is somewhat windswept and it should be another four days before their next appointment.  But he comes, and sits, and then says, with the kind of quiet bluntness that Xichen has always appreciated, “There is something you should know.”

Xichen sighs and sips his tea.  It’s the sharp morning blend that Wangji prefers, which is not a good sign.  If he was hoping to appease Xichen, hoping to appeal for help from the elder brother who, even now, probably couldn’t refuse him, it would be something softer, more soothing.  This means that Wangji is trying to brace Xichen for something.

Xichen doesn’t know what else he could be braced for, these days.  

He finishes the cup in silence and sets it down, and Wangji fills it again, because he has the good grace not to pretend that he’s inscrutable to Xichen.  Xichen waits until the cup is full and the pot restored to its resting place, and then says, “What is it, Wangji?”

It would be a lie to say that Xichen expects it to be about anything but Jin Guangyao.  A-Yao.  His youngest sworn brother, with his gentle smile and whip-sharp tongue and bloody, bloody hands.  For the first time in decades, Lan Xichen misunderstands his brother.

“Someone else has used the sacrifice ritual,” is what Wangji says.

Xichen does the math, quickly, and tries to think of anyone who might still be loyal to Jin Guangyao.  His own collateral guilts, the price of his years of inaction, have been tallied meticulously since he went into seclusion five months ago--Jin Rusong, Qin Su, the Wens.  But who might have survived Jin Guangyao’s death throes, to bring him back?  A disciple in Lanling, seeking revenge?  How much does Jiang Wanyin hate his brother?  How much did Jin Rulan love his uncle?

And then Wangji speaks again, and Xichen’s thoughts come to a halt so quickly that his ears ring.

“Nie Mingjue is coming to Cloud Recesses.”

The world reels around Xichen, his hands shaking as they come to rest on the tabletop.  Wangji reaches out to touch his shoulders--Sizhui really has been good for him--and waits, holding Xichen steady as he breathes, and breathes, and breathes.

It isn’t until Xichen’s hands have stilled that Wangji says quietly, “I am sorry, xiongzhang.  There wasn’t--a kind way to tell you.”  And he would know, of course he would know, Xichen’s ever-steady brother who chased any word of the Yiling Patriarch like it would kill him to stop.

“Who--?” Xichen chokes out.

Wangji closes his eyes, sits back on his heels.  He is Hanguang-jun, one of the finest cultivators of their day, and he has been as strong and youthful as he was the day he left seclusion all the years since.  Now Xichen thinks he looks very tired.  Too old for this.  They grew up in a war and came of age in a genocide and Xichen allowed it and Wangji lost nearly everything in it, and he wishes that the world hadn’t come to settle so firmly on Wangji’s shoulders, after everything.

“His brother.”

Bile gathers at the back of Xichen’s tongue.  He drinks more of the sharp tea, bitter and beginning to be oversteeped, to wash it away.

Xichen can picture Nie Huaisang perfectly--as he was when they were young, when he was a student at Cloud Recesses four times over and Xichen was amused at the idea of stern, driven Mingjue trying to harass his brother into studying.  Like a hunting dog trying to corral a cat, while Huaisang blinked liquid black eyes and pouted and refused to be managed.

Xichen can picture A-Yao, dimpled and quiet and brilliant, at his elbow.

Xichen blames Nie Huaisang for the death of Jin Guangyao.  Xichen blames himself for the manipulations of Nie Huaisang.  Xichen is grateful to Nie Huaisang for his brother’s happiness.  Xichen hates Nie Huaisang for making him complicit, one last time, without even the cold comfort of knowing if he had truly been used.  Xichen loves Nie Huaisang because he knows how to love him, how to protect his dage’s brother, with the surety of years of practice.

Mingjue will be so angry that Xichen did not stop this.

“When?” Xichen whispers, and Wangji, brilliant Wangji, knows what he is asking.

“He was perhaps two hours behind us.  Wei Ying will stall him at the gate, if you need longer.”

“No,” Xichen says, and he cannot hope to make his voice strong, but he manages to keep it from shaking.  “Let him in."

“Xiongzhang,” Wangji says, watching him with their family’s brilliant golden eyes like he’s seeing every fracture line hidden under Xichen’s skin.  He thinks he’s mostly fracture lines, these days.  “This was not your fault.”

“No,” Xichen agrees, bringing one hand up to cover his own eyes.  The clear, pale light streaming through the paper covering the window seems very bright, suddenly.  His eyes are burning.  “Like so many things, this was not my fault.  Not in any way, except in idleness.”

He does not need to see Wangji’s face to know that he is only barely holding back an argument, by the iron hand of his self-control and the precepts against arguing with seniors and family members.  Wangji only follows those precepts when it suits him, these days--Chief Cultivator is a title that buys a great deal of leeway--but he keeps his silence.

Xichen’s brother has always been kind.  He drinks his oversteeped bitter tea and pretends that he does not see the escaped tears running down Xichen’s cheeks.

#lan xichen #lan wangji #nie mingjue #the untamed #mdzs #the nie brothers ritual thing #starlight writes stuff #ummmm i don't have an excuse #turns out i just really like lxc's headspace! this was fun to write! #ft my Thoughts about how much lxc blames himself for post-jgy #and also about how at least lwj is good at visiting loved ones in seclusion (and it makes lxc hurt to have put lwj back in that position) #there is a second half in the queue somewhere but i'm trying to keep these real short which is really Not my brand #second half is finally FINALLY gonna be a nmj pov! big sads in that one kids! #how many ficlets do i need to write in this universe before i have to title it? i'm thinking about something from shayfer james #i really like shayfer james for the nie bros. 'where we belong' is really good for nmj and 'tombstone road' for nhs. #a queue we will keep and our honor someday avenge #timetomakeanewwish #asked and answered

[gayregis]

Hi good morning can we talk about twn ciri for a sec? There is something about the way she’s portrayed by the actress that just drives me CRAZY and I don’t know quite how to put my finger on it. I think she’s just so reserved and serious and haughty, whereas in the books she’s really playful and lively and exaggerated and just?? Has emotions?? And also I was spoiled by Peter Kenny’s fantastic accent for ciri and can’t think of her any other way. ANYWAY WHAT R UR THOUGHTS CUZ IM SURE THEY’RE GOOD

ohohoh yes. just as a prefacee and for context, freya allan (ciri’s actress) is 18 years old, and i am 19 years old, so to say i didn’t like her acting in twn isn’t me bullying or being harsh on a minor. in addition, i also don’t think her acting was bad. i think her acting was great, but it was just out of character for ciri, at least the ciri we know from the books... i do not think the directors treated ciri with enough weight as she needed to have in the narrative. like with yennefer, they gave her way more screen time and much less significance in the overall story, because the moments that they gave them to be on screen were just pure filler with no effect on the character development, relationship development, setting, themes... the audience never learned anything useful when they were on screen, besides lore about aretuza and cintra that would immediately escape their minds after the episode was done.

i know for a fact that this “out of character” acting for ciri (her being “so reserved and serious and haughty”) was a result of the directors and people running the show, and NOT freya herself as an actress. like with joey batey and anya chalotra i think, they got the short stick in this deal. they’re actors, so their profession is to act, but they don’t always get to decide HOW they’re supposed to act and portray these beloved characters. that’s what the director is for, right? to direct how scenes play out, to make sure the characters are in-character. and the writers are the ones that write the actors’ lines and the scenes they exist in, so “then it’s just like any other place,” or “who’s yennefer,” and other ridiculous garbage throwaway lines were the writers’ fault and not the actors. i just think it’s important to establish that even though yes, freya is an older teenager/young adult, she’s not responsible for a lot of decisions involving ciri and the character. plus since she is 18 and just got done being 17, i feel like this is the first time she’s actually been able to legally make her own decisions. 

plus in this topic, because i’ve never mentioned it anywhere before, i’d like to bring light to how it’s super shady of netflix to decide to hire an actress for ciri who is BARELY an adult actor, because child actors (as opposed to adult ones) are restricted by many different laws concerning how many hours they can work, etc. the fact that freya is 18 means that they can give her more work and disregard any regulations that may have applied to a child actor, and i think i literally read this from lauren hissrich in an interview, that “older actors are easier to work with than child actors” or something like this, that it’s difficult to shoot with child actors due to the immense restrictions. so although they phrased the casting choice for freya allan more in the sense of “well, we were GOING to cast someone younger, but freya was just so fantastic in auditions that we NEEDED her in this production” is suspicious to me, i think they did it so they wouldn’t have to deal with the headache of laws surrounding child actors (note that i do NOT doubt that freya is a great actress, i liked her acting, i mean look at the scenes she is in! she is actually acting, unlike henry cavill).

speaking of henry cavill, anyone want to mention his 19 year old girlfriend or his “opinions” on the #MeToo movement? no? my more conspiratorial theory is that they might have just wanted to get a barely legal actress for ciri because if cavill were to “do anything”... ahem... it would be less complicated for all of the legality than if he “did anything” to a child. i’m not calling cavill a r*pist but he has made his views on women explicitly clear, and a LOT falls under the umbrella of sexual assault and harassment. innappropriate comments, etc... i don’t trust him to respect women just as much as i don’t trust him to act.

that was a big preface that pretty much went nowhere, apologies... but i think it’s significant to look at the context around the actor or actress when they’re likely being a tad exploited on set. but yes, ciri does come off as super out of character to me in the majority of scenes she is in. it’s because her character was set up to be a white feminist fantasy of being declared innocent from the sins of her family because she feels bad about it, with her “being so privileged and then she finds out her grandmamma committed mass genocide and she has to realize that her royal ways!” instead of anything related to what we see in the books, of a vulnerable child losing that childhood and trying to cling to some sense of normalcy and family. they set her up as “a princess” and not “a child.” 

in the books, she’s just a child, and then geralt learns she’s a princess and teases her that she doesn’t look much like one, being lost in a forest with a snotty nose... she’s not introduced in a royal court surrounded by noble guests. i doubt that books ciri spent all of her time in court, either... according to the lore, she wouldn’t even be able to sit down and she would have to stand in calanthe’s presence (season of storms, the princes must stand in the royal court alongside their father while coral gets to sit because she is a sorceress... of course, this is cidaris and not cintra, but it still stands). she is a princess, but she has difficulty acting like one... it’s something i’d rather erase from my mind because it’s one of those “problematic points of canon that only exist because they live in a medieval society,” but it’s made clear that calanthe gave ciri the belt for misbehaving, multiple times. ciri is obviously interested in more childlike pursuits and acts outside of her station a lot. after all, she is the reason that their entourage got pulled into brokilon in the sword of destiny, because ciri fucking ran away since she didn’t want to be brought to and married off to prince kirsten of verden.

again on ciri’s age, she was 8 or 9 when we first meet her in the books, and 14 when we meet her in the netflix series. that’s a vast amount of difference in age, not only by years, but by development and experience. an 8 year old is a 3rd grader, a 14 year old is a high school freshman. i think that makes a lot of difference in not only how much agency a character is treated with, but how an audience views them. i mean, 14 is a good age for a YA novel protagonist - think harry potter or percy jackson. ciri in the netflix adaptation was set up more as someone relatable (to those younger watching) as she’s like the hero of her own story! she escapes from her evil evil evil pursuers and has this great power she doesn’t yet understand! whereas books ciri is meant more for an audience to feel like geralt toward - protective, parental, you find a child in the middle of the woods, and you’re thinking, “what’s with this... sassy lost child?”

sapkowski is also the master of a good character reveal. i think ciri, cahir, regis, even characters like vilgefortz, have these GREAT reveals as to who they were all along! surprise, surprise, there is no black knight of cintra, it’s just a young man paralyzed with fear and pain! surprise, surprise, the guy that knew a lot about vampires and lived near a cemetery and dresses in all black is a vampire (ok, this reveal is weaker... but you’ve got to admit, the actual reveal scene... alright). 

ciri had a GREAT character reveal in the books. since we see everything from geralt’s perspective, she’s just some child, she’s just some brat geralt finds in the wilderness, he doesn’t have ANY reason to feel any sort of way to her, and he practically adopts her and she feels safe with him. he recognizes her vulnerability as a child and does anything to protect her and guide her. this is what is meant by “something more,” their relationship from the beginning was something more than strictly destiny. destiny may have led them together, but it did not make them become family, they did that themselves. and later when geralt learns that ciri is the princess of cintra, the child surprise promised to him, does he even consider destiny as part of the equation. and this is actually what drives them apart, because geralt believes that he will and refuses to ruin her life by introducing her to the blade, and thus, death. because it’s not incredibly special that ciri is a child surprise, i wouldn’t say it’s horribly common, but it’s not like she’s the only one. and she’s definitely not the only child to be taken/taken in and raised by witchers. and geralt knows what being raised as a witcher is like, and he refuses to do that to her, because he actually loves this child as his daughter. and this is where the conflict stems from, because geralt spit in destiny’s face and said, fuck you, i’m not going to hurt this child. and destiny said, i’m going to hurt her anyways.

in the netflix series? the first time we see ciri... is in cintra! the surprise is RUINED!! child surprise, more like child already-revealed. the audience has no reason to watch anymore, because we already know who she is and what happens to her. they literally kill calanthe and eist off in the first episode, and then expect the audience to CARE about them during episode 4 when they adapted a question of price. in the books, dandelion telling geralt the accounts of the massacre of cintra was a heavy scene, it was a tragic scene, and you knew somehow that it was geralt’s fault because of how he had refuted destiny, you had the lore on your side if you had been reading the stories beforehand, you understood why this was happening and what has happened to ciri.

also side note, i sincerely think the massacre of cintra is better coming from geralt’s best friend, someone he’s known for years and trusts immensely, also a poet so his account is horrifyingly immaculate and it really hits that mark of chilling, rather than geralt just... idk being there? i didn’t watch this far but he showed up to cintra and calanthe threw him in jail? this makes no sense, why would she... anyways. but yes, dandelion is a character that serves to be there for geralt, so it makes sense for him to tell geralt about cintra because then geralt can respond and thus demonstrate to the readers/audience all of the emotions about it that he is feeling.

but yeah so to summarize, my thoughts are that ciri really comes off as a weaker character in the netflix series than in the books because:

they treated her as older and introduced her as the lion cub of cintra and not as just some child found in the woods, taking BOTH the “child” and “surprise” out of “child surprise”

they removed geralt’s paternal relationship to her and why exactly he is significant in her story, and hyped up the “destiny” thing instead, which came off as completely meaningless, not to mention annoying to hear repeated when there has been no significance developed behind the word. i mean, they cut out both brokilon and something more (i will NOT accept that scene as the ending scene of something more. that wasn’t a hug fit to pick your kid up from afterschool, much less a hug that you run towards your kid with when you thought they perished and you were responsible for it, when you risked your life just to maybe be able to see them again. there was also no dialogue, no “geralt, you’ve found me! after all this time! i knew it! i’m your destiny! say it, i’m your destiny? am i your destiny?” “you’re much more than that, ciri. much more.” so that sucked).

they chose an older actress for ciri, likely to evade having to respect their actors by working within the confines of child labor laws, but not only this, they treated her older in the narrative and made the viewer empathize with her instead of with geralt, the parent... ciri only is supposed to become a “relatable” character when she reaches 13 or 14, in blood of elves and in time of contempt.

they reduced the significance of how deep her trauma was from the massacre of cintra (she makes one offhand comment about how cahir had a bird on his head... that’s not gonna cut it for me. she’s so far experienced a total of zero nightmares about the black knight of cintra).

they gave her a bunch of filler scenes that had absolutely no impact on the broad story or her character development or relationships with other characters (doppler plot). they also made her arc surround unlearning being a princess and finding what epic powers she might have, and nothing comes from both of these points. she doesn’t develop any character because of these points, they’re just there for more filler.

a tad unrelated but: they made yennefer’s wanting a child more of an obsession than a goal the character just happens to have, and have sexualized her character immensely, moreso than in the books... plus the fact that they made her super appealing to the audience and to every other character including geralt from the start (she’s not someone who is icy at first, then warms up), makes me feel like we are never going to get ciri and yennefer at ellander. ever. i just can’t imagine it with this ciri and this yennefer from the netflix series.

#ask #ciri #the witcher netflix #the witcher #zireaells #geralt

[cicadahaze]

can i get some helping to drink water and also brushing hair out of face, with maybe... possibly.... desperate handholding? maybe set between episodes 122 and 123, in the middle of the night....??

DEE UR MIND..... also this got long and kinda pretentious so

Jonmartin requests still incredibly very much open. Feed me.

Also pls reblog this instead of just liking it I thrive on feedback!! Same principal applies to writers that applies to visual artists

---------

Martin rubbed his face. His eyes burned with exhaustion, and common sense told him that he wasn’t going to get anything more done by staring at “Peter’s” Excel spreadsheet for another hour. But he didn’t necessarily want to go home yet, either. 

He sighed and closed out of the spreadsheet anyway, saving it three times beforehand. (A habit he couldn’t seem to break.) He was going to pack his things, and go home, and eat a cardboard TV dinner in front of the television, and sleep alone. And hopefully begin. like it within the next month. He shoved what few things he brought into his bag haphazardly and pulled the fog around him before he quietly descended from Elias’ office to the ground floor. The fog filled his nose with a bland, watery stench, drowning out the comforting scent of dust and books.

Nobody should have been in the lobby. It was a quarter til ten, and every sensible member of the institute had gone home for the night. Even Peter was probably wherever he considered home for the time being, alone with all the lights off. But there Jon sims was, for the first time in six months, shakily unlocking the Institute doors. 

Martin couldn’t breathe. Jon’s eyes were bleary, and his entire body trembled as he stepped through the door. His dark skin was entirely too ashy, and if anything was clear about this situation, it was that Jon shouldn’t be here. He almost looked as if he were sleepwalking, movements airy and listless. He didn’t seem real.

Martin doubted he was, even as he silently followed Jon down to the archives. The Lonely’s fog hid him easily from Jon’s eyes, let Martin watch as Jon leaned too much on the handrails, how the metallic echoes of his steps were muffled and seemed to fade far too fast. 

Maybe Martin was seeing Jon’s ghost.

Jon lingered a moment at what used to be Martin’s desk. It was covered with a layer of dust- neither Melanie nor Basira had bothered to clean it, and he found he didn’t much care- but Jon’s fingers left gauges in the dust as he trailed his fingers over the dust. Jon paused a moment to look at the grey coating his fingertips before wiping them on his shirt- a white button-up with some fancy looking logo on it, something that seemed almost too stereotypically Jon for him to wear. It still had a price tag on it. The dust caught and left grey smears on the fresh fabric. Martin’s breath caught in his throat as he registered the details, Jon’s increasing physicality, like being in the archives returned something essentially Jon to the world. 

Martin ran his fingers over his old desk, crossing the marks Jon left. He couldn’t feel a mote of dust on Jon’s tracks. 

Jon’s eyes darted up, lighting up with a sudden and unexpectedly intense hunger. Martin almost staggered back at the intensity of it. He had always felt the weight of Jon’s gaze, but it was nothing like this, like being scoured. Martin felt terrifyingly vulnerable. Seen.

Jon’s eyes fixed on him. “Martin,” he breathed.

“Jon,” said Martin.

Jon lurched forward, and his legs gave out. Martin quickly stepped forward and caught him, the instinct to protect returning like it had never left. Jon’s skin had that ghastly pallor again, and his breathing came too heavy. Martin gingerly brushed Jon’s hair out of his face, only to find Jon staring at him like a ravenous dog.

“You overdid it, didn’t you?” Martin said. He tucked Jon’s hair- too long, too loose, too brittle- behind his ear. “You don’t always have to push yourself that hard, you know. You just woke up from... whatever that was.”

“Martin,” Jon said again, voice painfully raspy. “You- Peter Lukas-”

“Yeah.” He let go of Jon, whose legs still shook. Martin felt a pang of guilt, but he swallowed it down. “You can blink, you know. I’m not going to disappear.”

“I didn’t see you.” 

“I didn’t want you to.”

Jon opened his mouth, probably to protest in that endearing annoying has to be annoying way of his, but instead he doubled over as he was wracked with painful coughs. He lurched to the side, and Martin caught him by the shoulder before he could fall. 

When the coughs subsided, Martin let him go again. “You really shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m the archivist.”

“You still need to rest after being dead for six months, Jon!” Martin blinked at his own volume, and took a deep breath. “Come on, let’s get you some water. Then... I don’t know, you can sleep in the cot? Do you still own a flat?”

Jon blinked, frowned. “That’s... a good question.”

Martin sighed and started towards the stairs, turning away from Jon. He walked slow, and the only reason he knew Jon followed was from the quiet, even slower sound of his footsteps on the stairs. Martin held the door to the break room open for him, and Jon practically collapsed into one of the cheap wooden chairs.

It was quick work to fill a glass of cold water, and he held it out to Jon. Jon took the glass carefully with shaking fingers that brushed painfully warm over Martin’s. The glass trembled in his grasp, water sloshing over the edge as Jon weakly lifted it to his mouth. The water came out unevenly, and all it accomplished was sending Jon into another coughing fit. 

Martin was hit with another sickening pang of guilt, and took the glass from Jon, rubbing his back comfortingly as Jon coughed. When they subsided, he gave Jon a moment to catch his breath. Martin’s eyes drifted to Jon’s chest, watched as it rose and fell, like it hadn’t in six months. He had watched Jon’s chest completely still, Jon’s hand cold, cold as ice, no heartbeat at his wrist no blood flowing through his body. He could feel Jon watching him back, eyes tracing his face. He finally lifted his gaze. Jon’s hair had fallen into his face again. He couldn’t fight the urge to brush it back behind Jon’s ear again. He wanted to do more, to run his fingers through it, to tie to back, to feel it on the back of his hand as it rested on Jon’s back. 

He did do the last one, but he was careful to place his hand low enough so as to not feel Jon’s hair has he raised the glass to Jon’s lips. Jon didn’t choke this time, to Martin’s relief, and the glass was finished quickly. 

“Do you need help getting back down?” Martin asked softly, and Jon shook his head.

“No, I- I’ll be fine. Thank you, though, Martin.”

Martin swallowed and nodded. He turned to the door, but before he could grab the nob, he felt fingers close around his own. He turned to see Jon, staring at him, but not in the starving way from before- it was softer, this time, almost sad.

“Martin, can you... can you stay? Can you stay a couple more minutes?”

Martin’s throat was dry. He shouldn’t. He couldn’t. 

“Yes,” he said. “Of course.”

Jon didn’t let go as Martin pulled out his own chair. Jon leaned his cheek into Martin’s palm, held it there. Martin could feel him shaking still. 

“I’m sorry,” Jon said, almost too quiet to hear over the white-noise buzzing of the mini fridge. “I’m sorry for leaving for so long.”

“Jon-”

Jon curled around Martin’s arm. “I’m sorry about Tim,” he breathed, voice strangely choked. “I’m sorry about- about Daisy- and... and, and... Sasha...” Jon’s shoulders shook, and now Martin was sure that his own hands were trembling. “I’m sorry for being so cruel to you, and for leaving you alone, for leaving you with the lonely...” His fingers tightened to a desperate vise. “I’m sorry for not coming back human,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry.”

Martin’s throat burned, a pit deep in his stomach, and before he could think it through, he tugged Jon to his chest, curled around him protectively, held him tight. Jon was so warm. He could feel his heartbeat.

Martin knew that to Jon, his skin probably felt unpleasantly cold.

“It’s alright, Jon,” He said softly into Jon’s hair. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Then he let go, gently pried Jon off him, and stepped out the door, pulling the Lonely around him.

It wouldn’t do to see Jon again.

He couldn’t.

But his heart burned with new fire, and plans began to rewrite themselves in his mind.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #crow writes #this got WAY long #martin i know youre trying to protect him but he needs u rn

[locke-writes]

eli's a slut for ur writing request #1: mac w a cute trans bf who's sad he can't afford top surgery or t

Warnings: Dysphoria stuff

AN: I had too many ideas for this so I though HCs would be easiest

Mac’s new to dating in the LGBT+ community

He isn’t new to dating people who are LGBT+, he’s just new to dating people when he’s the one that’s also LGBT+

Honestly at first he had no idea how to ask you out, he didn’t know anything really

And the gang are disasters but at least Dee has some sense to get Mac to ask your pronouns first.

That’s what leads into your first conversation with Mac and that’s what leads to the flirting and the desperate wanting to kiss him but also leads to the fear

Because attraction leads to the Discussion

You pass well enough with a binder, a haircut, and some decent clothes but still, you had to tell them that you were trans

Mac took it surprisingly well, even telling you about the girlfriend he had at one point when he was in the closet, telling you that she was trans so while the experience itself was different he had some experience

The fear dissipated although you still couldn’t fathom how someone like Mac, who looked like he did, wanted to be with you

There were a lot of good times with Mac, but then there were times like this

It was Mac’s day off at the bar and you knew that he was going to be over at your apartment any minute

The only problem was that you were feeling like shit

Not, I feel sick kinda sick, dysphoric. Staring in the mirror and hating what you saw kinda sick

Part of it was your own fault, part of it was just the usual rush of self loathing regarding your chest

A binder only helped so much, what you wanted, what you had wanted from the beginning, was top surgery

And the fact that you decided to look up what the price of such a surgery as well as how much your insurance would cover did not help

It was a lot

More than you could afford

Mac let’s himself into the apartment with the key you’ve given him, you’re face down on the couch and you let out a groan

He’s seen you like this before although it’s a different reason each time

He gently moves your legs so that he can sit down and places them back on his lap

Like always Mac doesn’t initiate the conversation, he waits for you to bring up what it is that’s bothering you because he knows that you don’t want to be pushed to speak

When you do start talking about top surgery being expensive Mac just nods and waits for his turn to speak

He’ll wait as long as you need to rant and when he does speak it’s a lot of rambling that you don’t really understand

To Mac it’s whatever is in his head is spoken so a lot of what he’s talking about is just ways to afford the surgery, schemes the gang can pull to get the money

He even suggests asking Frank although you aren’t sure how that would go

You know he doesn’t fully understand what it’s like but the fact that he just let’s you talk on about what you’re feeling is better than just ignoring the issue all together

#locke writes #iasip #mac #iasip headcanons #mac headcanons

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

#bigbearintro #y'all my intro style evolved! #there's a tl;dr beneath the bg info bc i!! rambled!! #i feel like i went back and forth b/t proper grammar/punctuation and.... not.... caring. #also i am. dumb 2night. it j took me a hot while to figure out how to spell punctuation and it still doesnt look right the english language #is so weird???? #we post this before we have many followers we die like men.

[jadejedi]

So You Hate The Last Jedi (part four)

Part One- Theme     Part Two- Luke    Part Three- Rey     Part Four- Finn

Part Four- Finn

Okay, this section will deal with Finn. While I’ve already discussed a lot of the main complaints surrounding Finn’s story in TLJ, specifically regarding Canto Bight, I still have a couple of things to circle back to from the first two parts of this stupid long argument about a movie that came out two and half years ago. I want to start out by saying that while I do enjoy the Canto Bight part of the movie, I do acknowledge that the pacing is a little (or a lot) off. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t value in it. 

First of all, the Canto Bight plotline doesn’t just tie in to the theme of failure, it also connects into the theme of dealing with a collective dark history. It serves to remind us that the galaxy is not a pretty place. It is full of corruption, to this day. It reminds us that in order to truly succeed, these corrupting elements must be dealt with and acknowledged. The prequels, and the Clone Wars tv show especially, pull back the curtain on the GFFA’s dark side (pardon the pun) of institutional corruption. It’s not just that Palpatine was evil, it was that the whole Republic was corrupt, even before he was elected Chancellor. 

I mean, any system where a trade conglomerate like the Trade Federation has literal representation in the Senate, especially while other groups don’t have official representation, like the Gungans, is pretty corrupt. (Does Jar-Jar even have any power when Padmé is there? What is the point of his position??)

Any attempt by the New Republic to form a post-Imperial government without dealing with the corruption of the old Republic would only lead to a repeat of history, which is exactly what happens. That’s why it was important for Finn to see that *this* is the evil at the core of the galaxy. Not just the Empire, or the First Order, but the system that allows them to continue to operate and flourish. Theoretically, this should have set him up for an arc in episode IX where he does in some way deal with this, or confront someone about this corruption, maybe Leia or something, but whatever. 

Okay, moving on to the next complaint. So, why were Rose and Finn separated from Poe and Rey the whole movie? They’re the trio, right? They should be together.

Well, look back at the second episode in the other two trilogies. Obi-Wan is separated from Padmé and Anakin, and Luke is separated from Han and Leia. So it shouldn’t be surprising that the trio is split up for this movie. While in the previous two trilogies the romantically involved couple was together, it’s unclear if Disney ever meant for Finn and Rey to end up together, and they DEFINITELY didn’t intend for Finn and Poe to end up together, and wonderful as either of those scenarios are. So it makes sense for them to all be split up.

Also, as discussed in Just Write’s video that I mentioned in part one, the three main characters, Finn, Poe, and Rey all have their respective individual conflicts personified by the characters around them. Finn has Rose and DJ, Poe has Leia and Holdo, and Rey has Luke and Ren. They are all being pulled in two directions, between their wants and needs. To be honest, this movie has some of the most fleshed out and developed character arcs and themes of the entire Star Wars Saga. All three characters have a clear start point and end point, clear wants and needs, and a clear impact on the story. 

While it may have been possible to have this while having the trio together, I think it was theoretically smart to separate them, have them grow as characters, before chucking them back together to fully actualize in the final movie. It’s not Rian Johnson’s fault that didn’t happen.

So, I’ve already mentioned a bit that the three trilogies echo each other (or as George would say, it’s like poetry, it rhymes), and that really comes into play with Finn. I have a theory, as in a theoretical framework, not as in a hunch, about the trios of Star Wars, and I’m sure others have discussed this, I just haven’t seen anyone using these terms. In my theory, there are three archetypes repeated in the trios of each trilogy. These roles are not about personality, but about narrative function. First and most obvious, The Chosen One. The one with the special destiny and the special powers. Luke, Anakin, and Rey. Next, the Established Politician/Believer, who already has a connection to the main ‘good guy’ political force. Leia, Padmé, and Poe. And finally, the Doubter. The Doubter has doubts. Doubts about the Chosen one, doubts about the political entity or the established politician, or any combination of the above. Han, Obi-Wan, Finn. This lines up very nicely because each of the members of the ST trio spend a large amount of time with their OT counterpart, throughout the first two movies especially.

So, Finn is the Han character. At the beginning of their respective trilogies, they have doubts about the rebellion/resistance, but save the Chosen One because of their established friendship. Finn goes to Starkiller base to rescue Rey, and Han saves Luke from getting shot down on the Death Star run. 

Now, by the end of both of these movies, The Force Awakens and A New Hope, Finn and Han have no actual connection to the Resistance/Rebellion. They are both there for their friends, not because they believe in any cause (despite what Solo would tell you). 

However, in the OT, Han just gets left there. ESB picks up three years later, and Han is deeply involved in the Rebellion, including having a military rank, if I remember correctly. He leaves, but not because he doesn’t believe in the Rebellion’s cause, but because there’s a price on his head. We don’t get to see the character development that got him to that point, and is probably why Harrison Ford didn’t find him to be a particularly interesting character. 

With Finn, on the other hand, we do get to see that intermediate step. We get to see him radicalized, from someone who is just fighting to save his friends, to someone who believes in and fights for a cause. I LOVE that arc. It makes Finn a 100000% more complex and interesting character than Han, IMO, and would have set him up perfectly to, say, lead a stormtrooper revolution in IX. It seemed like he was being set up to take a really large leading man/leadership role, but again that didn’t happen.

So, if his story arc was about being radicalized, then why did it not end with him dying in a blaze of glory? (I know that this isn’t a problem that everyone had with the movie, but I’ve seen it enough to address it.)

Well, first of all, Star Wars isn’t the kind of saga that really seems to buy into the whole ‘heroic sacrifice’ narrative. Now, I want to state that there is nothing inherently wrong with sacrificing yourself for a just cause or whatever. BUT, a lot of what I’ve seen around the whole ‘Rose should have let Finn sacrifice his life’ argument reminds more of what Umberto Eco calls in his essay “Ur-Fascism,” ‘the cult of heroism’, and the ‘cult of death’. In fascism, believers are taught that, first of all, everyone is a hero. Everyone is basically trained to die. Dying is seen not just as an unfortunate consequence of the fight, but as the reward for the fight. 

And that’s kind of what this whole argument around Finn’s sacrifice felt like to me. Rose didn’t ‘steal’ anything from Finn. She literally saved his life. Because there is no glory in dying for a cause. It can be a necessity, but especially in Star Wars, seeing war and death as some sort of search for glory is frowned upon. 

In Empire Strikes Back Yoda states, “War does not make one great.”

In the season one episode of the Clone Wars, Trespass, Senator Chuchi says, “To die for one’s people is a great sacrifice. To live for one’s people, an even greater sacrifice.”

And as Rose explains, “That’s how we’re going to win. Not fighting what we hate. Saving what we love.” 

In Star Wars, it is the fighting and living for a cause that is more heroic than needlessly dying for it. Because, it would have been needless and pointless for Finn to die. Yeah, that cannon would have been destroyed, but eventually the First Order’s forces would have gotten through. The Resistance was still hugely outnumbered. Plus, do we really want one of the franchise's few black heroes dying? I sure don’t. And, as has been mentioned on this website before, Star Wars is a fairytale. It’s supposed to end with the main trio living happily ever after. 

And, as I will talk about in the final part, this decision to not go through with the suicide mission was a big part of Poe’s character arc. 

#so you hate the last jedi #star wars #star wars meta #sw #sw meta #hannah talks #finn #the last jedi #tlj #whoa i meant to get this out like a week ago oops

[jqmwol6y-blog]

Where can i get car insurance for over 50?

Where can i get car insurance for over 50?

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