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#The Surly Nerd
eelgraveyard · 1 year
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humanized town slimes anybody?
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“But what about my kitten!?”
The new exchanged student asked looking anxiously at Lucifer.
“As I said we have made arrangements for all your human world responsibilities.” He answered, not quite sure what part of they made arrangements you didn’t understand.
“No you don’t understand! They’re only a few weeks old! I’m like their parent and litter in one, we can’t be apart right now!” You try to plead your case. If you have to spend a year in hell fine whatever but you refuse to do it without your kitten.
“I’m afraid we’re not able to accommodate a cat, surly it will be fine in foster care until you return.” Lucifer didn’t like the way you looked at him, it was just a cat. It’s not like they asked you to leave behind your human child.
“But they’ve already been abandoned once,” you start to choke up. “They’re gonna think I abandoned them too.” Now you’re crying. The human exchange student has been in Devildom for less than five minutes and they’re already crying.
Diavolo speaks up, “surely there’s room at the house of lamentation for one little kitten.” He doesn’t wait to Lucifer to object before he continues. “We’ll make the arrangements for you kitten to be brought with the rest of your personal items.”
“Promise,” you ask between sniffs, wiping the tears from your eyes.
“You have my word as prince.” He assured you.
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How the brothers react
Lucifer
He’s not pleased. It’s not that he has anything against cats. He’s just not mentally prepared for the chaos having one in the house will cause. Surely his brothers will find a way to make it his problem. He’s not sure how yet but he’s got a bad feeling. He’s not quite sure what it takes to care for such a young kitten. Truly he’s impressed by how responsible and nurturing you are for it. Although he is worried about it getting in the way of your lessons. Or his brothers getting in the way constantly bothering you to spend time with your cat.
Mammon
Our first cat person. He already spends a lot of time hanging around you being your first and all. But now he has even more reason to spend time in your room. He loves playing with them so you can study. May buy too many cat toys for them. Will definitely act like you two are a couple and your kitten is your child. If you ever argue or try to kick him out of your room he’ll pick them up and say shit like “but think of our baby” in the end he spoils them and become just as attached to your cat as he is too you
Leviathan
What shut in anime nerd doesn’t like cats? You kitten definitely helps Levi warm up to you. It’s not that he wants to spend time with a normie like you but he does want to see you kitten. He actually becomes essential in taking care of them when you first arrive. Kittens that small can’t be left alone all day. Thankfully Levi takes a lot of classes online and is able to watch them throughout the day. He still keeps them in your room, he can’t have them trying to jump on his shelves and knock down his precious collection.
Satan
He could barely contain his excitement at how it worked out. If Diavolo hadn’t spoken for Lucifer he would have. Even if it took a legendary tantrum, he was not going to pass up on the opportunity to have an little kitten living at hol. This leads to you and Satan becoming close very quickly. He’s pretty much always in your room. At first just for your kitten but this eventually lead to him wanting to be with you as well. It gets to the point Lucifer has to come pull him away so he’s not getting in the way of your studies.
Asmodeus
Asmo’s not really a cat person. But he can’t deny that your little kitten is adorable! He snaps hundred of photos snd videos of them of his devilgram story. Will try to steal them away to use as a prop. You have day by day documentation of them growing from how often Asmo photographs them. Unlike his older brothers he doesn’t stick around very long, getting bored of your kitten as soon as their attention wonders away from him. But his visits are still fairly frequent.
Beelzebub
He tries to eat them. They’re just so tiny and bite sized. At least he didn’t want to eat your kitten anymore than he wanted to eat you at first. Even after he gets over his initial hunger he’s not any quicker to warm up to you. He’s just not a cat person so he doesn’t go out of his way to hang around.
Belphegor
After the whole incident, he’s disappointed he missed out of seeing the kitten when it first arrived. By the time he’s free your kitten is already a few months old and very energetic. He’s not a huge fan of them when they’re running around bouncing off the walls. But he does adore when they finally burn out and want to cuddle. Loves taking little cat naps with them but isn’t too thrilled when they jump on him or swat at him in his sleep.
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This is perhaps an unpopular opinion at this point, but I do not think that Mike realizes he has feelings for Will.
Not yet, anyway.
To be quite honest, I don't think Mike understands love well enough to know it when he feels it. He grew up in a family with parents who clearly don't love each other. He watched his older sister go out with the popular guy in school, and he probably doesn't even realize that the relationship fell apart because Nancy didn't really love him. He's friends with a group of nerds who don't really get much romantic attention. Ironically, Will gets the most attention from girls, much to his discomfort.
Mike has spent the past three years under the impression that he loves El. She's a girl, she needed him, and he took care of her. Because of that, everyone around him believed Mike had a thing for her, so, naturally, Mike assumed that must be it. What else could it be, right?
However, Will has always been special to Mike. He acts differently around him, and he treats Will more softly than he does anyone else. He's willing to be vulnerable with Will in a way he has trouble doing with anyone else. Will being mad at him hits him in a way that makes him ease up, despite him being snarky and surly with anyone else who he's fighting with (including El). The problem is that Mike never really considered that any of this could mean anything. It must just be a best friend thing. What else could it be, right?
I think the show has done a good job building up Mike's mistaken feelings in both relationships. The question now is how they'll find the time for him to realize his mistake and come to terms with loving a boy, all the while dealing with a superhuman interdimensional monster.
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thenamesblurrito · 9 months
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it's been too long since i drew The Boy. most people (rightfully) think Orion is kind, forgiving, difficult to anger, and generally a very nice youngling. they're then utterly shocked to discover this kid's wicked competitive streak. you put Orion into a sportsball game and he will spare no one, unless maybe you're bitty lil Bumblebee. nerd immediately switches to jock. there's a reason he makes an effective team leader as Optimus! (and why he's so easily baited by Galvatron into petty little spats he could otherwise brush off) and then he's so annoyingly nice about it afterward too, what a good sport he is, even as his opponents are seething at him.
even surly Megatron won't join a team playing against Orion, he knows better by now. poor unsuspecting Sentinel however gets the unpleasant surprise that Orion isn't a pushover in this situation, right before getting flattened
bonus:
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neathyingenue · 2 months
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I've decided that the crew of Silvia's zee-clipper is the same as the staff of her townhouse!
She doesn't live primarily at her townhouse, but she often lets other people stay there and occasionally goes there for liaisons she doesn't want traced back to her. But she still employs staff to keep it running. So most of the time they're chilling there but ready to go to zee at the drop of a hat.
For you domestic history nerds, here's the breakdown of Silvia's dwellings--
Rooms above a bookshop: Currently lent out to her cousin Winslow Velazquez (my brother's OC who has been neglected bc my brother has a life and interests apart from me ;_;)
Townhouse: Safe house for those who need it, including Ginny, Silvia's urchin friend. Living quarters for Silvia's 6-8 person crew when they're on land. The crew are all union employees of course, Silvia would never hire scabs! I'll probably think of all their individual personalities later but I'm imagining the cook as a Rubbery Man who uses his tentacles to stir and chop things at the same time.
Bazaar premises: Silvia tried to make the storefront the headquarters for her newspaper, but the other shop-owners said having revolutionaries around all the time was bad for business, and besides it made more sense to keep things on Doubt Street.
So now the storefront is subleased for a pittance to an ex(?) convict who makes sentimental clay figurines, or frilly undergarments or something. They are surly and pretend not to like Silvia but they do. Silvia lives above in a sort of bachelor pad without live-in staff; her ship's cook and boatswain come over once or twice a week to cook and clean, and she sends out her laundry.
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heartspiked · 2 years
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video games | mike wheeler + jason carver
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pairing: mike wheeler x cheerleader! reader x jason carver
he holds me in his big arms
there was never a moment in the day when you weren't orbiting around your boyfriend. during his morning practices, you would sit on the bleachers and do your homework, in the first period you volunteered at the library where he took his dual credit literature class, at lunch, you sat opposite of him, and in passing periods you made sure to hold his hand till the last second before the bell rings. giggles and sweet cooings of how he’d see you later. he’d protect you from anything if he thought you needed it.
drunk and i am seeing stars this is all i think of
swirling your beer around and staring daggers across the room at jason with a surly expression isn’t how you planned on spending the evening. why were there so many girls gathered around him? why was he so comfortable being nice to them? you worked hard to get to where you are. you fought hard yo get rid of the nerd title in middle school and made friends with the worst type of people. this was every girls dream, so why weren’t you happy? you had the title of being the affable basketball players cheerleader girlfriend. it didn’t feel like enough.
watching all your friends fall
there was no arguing with jason. not because he would lash out or ignore the problem but because he was sweet in every way. he was understanding and caring beyond belief and that annoyed you to no end. why couldn’t he just argue and tell you that you’re crazy? instead, he’d kiss your temple and assure you there was no competition. you’d whine and beg him to only treat you with kindness. “you shouldn’t worry about that you know i only have eyes for you.” you were prone to jealousy and rumors always hurt you. you wish he was mean so you felt less selfish and terrible.
he crosses his arms and gives an expression he reserves solely for you. “you know that i love you, right? so i don’t get why it matters if we don’t kiss you in public. that stuff is just for us.” and like how all these arguments conversations end he hugs you. though nothing ever changes. conversations about his asshole friends and their girlfriends breaking up always seem to change the subject until the next week. why did it seem like every week was the same boring thing? so of course you wrap your arms around his neck and mutter i love you too in his neck.
this is my idea of fun
mike ‘frog face’ wheeler is hovering over you in the men's locker room. mere minutes until basketball practice is done. you push him away from you and onto the bench. maybe you were crazy or he’s an acquired taste but there was something about how puffy his lips got after making out with him that made you feel insanely attracted to him. “you have a boyfriend.” he was about to go on about just like always. you left kisses on his ghostly white neck. his skin blotchy and covered in hickies the way you liked. “so do you want me to stop?” he shook his head quickly and nuzzled his nose against yours. he looked so desperate and he wanted you to kiss him back so badly. why did you love the rush you got from doing something so reckless and dumb?
playing video games
“when are you going to tell him?” you look up from your book and at mike who’s sitting in front of a paused gaming console. “what are you talking about wheeler?” mike stares at the floor for what felt like an eternity before speaking again. “when are you going to tell him it’s over?” you make your way out from under his covers wearing the lace underwear he likes. you hold his face in your hands and give him a big kiss. he told you he likes the way your lips feel like how he always imagined them. he shakes his head and you sigh, “soon. okay?” but you lied. continuing to avoid him in every hallway, never looking in his general direction, and refusing to acknowledge his existence at school.
it’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you
it’s the last game of the season and everyone who cares about basketball is on edge. except for mike of course who really does not care one bit. everyone stared at him when he refused to clap after the three pointers jason made back to back. why would he? instead he opted to clap for the opposite team who’s player elbowed jason and received a personal foul. mike watches sourly as you run to jump into jasons arms. why did you make him feel this bad? he made you feel good in ways that jason couldn’t. mikes eyes linger on you at how you’ve been pushed to the side by everyone who wants to see the captain. you look into the stands and your eyes meet. no matter how much you changed your hair and your makeup you’d always be on the sidelines. the expression in your eyes. the posture and look of defeat plastered on your face reminded him of middle school. maybe things would’ve been different if you just accepted the simple fact: once a loser always a loser.
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crimeronan · 1 year
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if caleb and the golden guard ghosts ARE real (as opposed to belos's unreliable projections) then there is something TRAGICALLY FUCKING HILARIOUS about all of them just hanging out tormenting belos together. cuz your initial instinct after being murdered would PROBABLY be more like "oh no, my murderer lied to and manipulated me and is going after another kid, i gotta protect this unfortunate-ass child with my life" like the mental image of tiny baby hunter just surrounded at all times by eighteen surly guardian angels while he's kicking up his legs reading banned books under his bedsheets. for all i know that's ALSO happening but i'm sure there's a sense of. like. learned helplessness?? they know there's no hope and that expending emotional energy is exhausting. there have been dozens of these guys and none have ever made it out alive. what is even the point. whenever a golden guard dies their ghost will be like "oh no, wtf, we gotta save the kid that belos just dragged out of the ground to replace me" while anyone who's been around for more than like two decades is just puffing on a ghost cigar and playing ghost cards at a ghost poker table feet kicked up not even looking up from their hand like "nah chill. we'll just fix him once he crosses over. trust me you do NOT want the drama oh my godddd. anyway do you wanna join the betting pool or what"
"the... what"
"yeah we've got even odds rn on whether he gets killed for being a jock or a nerd. you in??"
"...BRO-?"
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about-faces · 11 months
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Since a whole new generation has discovered Miguel O’Hara, it’s a good time to point out that his co-creator, writer Peter David, named him after his friend, the actor Miguel Ferrer.
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Ferrer was one of those truly great character actors who was in at least one project most people have seen, including Robocop and Twin Peaks, plus several roles as a voice actor, most notably Shan Yu in Mulan.
Yeah, admittedly, he was a nepo baby (his father was the great Puerto Rican actor Jose Ferrer and his mom was the iconic singer Rosemary Clooney, making George Clooney his cousin), but I won’t hold that against him. Nobody had a sardonic, surly presence like Ferrer, and on top of his talents, he was also a bona fide comic geek. He and his fellow Hollywood nerd friends Bill Mumy and Mark Hamill once decided to throw a party with Jerry Siegel (co-creator of Superman), the legendary Jack Kirby, and Bob Kane, who also did some stuff.
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Ferrer died of heart failure and complications from throat cancer in 2017. He was one of several actors who made poignant, posthumous appearances in the Twin Peaks revival. Still a fanboy to the end, his other final roles included Iron Man 3 and voicing Deathstroke in the animated adaptation of Teen Titans: The Judas Contract.
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clockworkcrane · 6 months
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Haurchefant Week 2023
Day Two: Habitual 1201 words. Rated T for whatever nerd/jock flirting is happening here and some innuendo. Nothing too spicy.
There is comfort in ritual.
Haurchefant’s nightly training sessions did not come about by necessity. They did not stem from an unquenchable urge to practice his swordplay, nor from a sense of duty, nor from any dedication to perfecting the art of combat. They began with a frequent desire to get himself as far from Fortemps manor as possible. This was usually no farther than the courtyard, and there was little else to do once there besides pick up a practice sword and exert himself.
Embarrassed as he is now by the fact, he pushed himself at first only to break free from the confines of his home, the awkward stares, and the uncomfortable half-conversations with his father. It was merely his good fortune that it required such a significant push. He’d found purpose in knighthood, in serving his house. He’d found peace. Joy, even. And with it, a sense of belonging that had been notably absent through adolescence.
The surliness of youth diminished over time, but the habit remained; even now at eight-and-twenty, he takes to the yard well after sundown each day. He strikes at straw-stuffed training dummies with the ardency of a fresh recruit. He finds his rhythm somewhere between strike and parry; the glide of a riposte; the extra beat along the measure that is a well-timed feint. He fights until his arms ache with effort and sweat drips down his neck. Then he returns inside for a late supper and a long bath. Customarily.
Tonight is different. Before he can open the door to the intercessory, it swings outward, bringing him face to face with an unexpected hitch in the plan. But not an unpleasant one. When he realizes who he’s bumped into, Haurchefant can only smile.
“Aramond, my friend,” he greets.
The Warrior of Light looks equally surprised to find him on the other side of the threshold. “Oh, good evening. I hadn’t thought anyone else to be about.”
“It is rather late,” Haurchefant agrees, with a pointed look.
“Indeed.” Aramond adjusts his spectacles, which Haurchefant has come to understand as a show of nervousness. “I was only… ah, it was a foolish notion, really. I should return to my chambers.”
“Have you eaten?” Haurchefant prompts, surprising even himself. He finds so few excuses to pass the time at the Warrior of Light’s side, however, and he is reluctant to let this one slip by unchallenged.
Aramond shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Haurchefant only notices because he’s been taught to. That subtle lean forward is an engagement. En garde.
“I haven’t,” Aramond admits.
“Neither have I,” Haurchefant says. “It would not be my first midnight raid of the larders. Shall we rummage something to eat?”
It’s a rare smile that comes over the Warrior of Light’s face so easily. “Very well. Let’s.”
They scavenge through the kitchens in the dead of night like a pair of thieves, even though Haurchefant’s command allows him free rein of the fort as he pleases. There is something reminiscent of his childhood escapades with Francel in the act; a ritual not as time-honored as his late-night bouts of training, but no less special. He and Aramond hide away in the intercessory with a small banquet they’ve foraged, and Haurchefant puts the kettle on for tea.
That is done purely with the Warrior of Light’s tastes in mind. The stuff is far too bitter for his own liking.
The moment Aramond gets his hands around a steaming cup, Haurchefant can see the tension in his shoulders unspooling like thread plucked from a loom. At ease. He seats himself across from the Warrior of Light and reaches for a hunk of knight’s bread, which he stuffs unceremoniously into his mouth.
“I have a confession,” Aramond says, after a long sip of tea.
“Mm?” Haurchefant asks, trying to swallow before remembering to chew. Thankfully, Aramond does not seem to notice.
“I could not sleep,” he continues. “I’m accustomed to a certain set of… I suppose you’d call them rituals. I had not realized how heavily I’d come to rely on them, but it seems I grow restless if they’re not done.”
Thinking of his recent endeavors in the yard, Haurchefant nods. “I understand completely.”
He expects the Warrior of Light to elaborate, but he does not. He merely lifts his cup to his lips once more, inhales deeply, and drinks. He is more guarded than Haurchefant. More guarded than he needs to be. But Haurchefant does not wish to feint or lunge to crack through those defenses. Familiarity can be allowed to bloom in increments, such as learning how a friend takes his tea. All secrets need not be laid bare between them; he is satisfied enough knowing this small thing which brings Aramond some comfort, and to be permitted to take part.
“Swordplay,” he offers, grinning bashfully when Aramond only blinks at him in response. “My nighttime ritual, I mean to say. Though it may be quite unlike your own, you are most welcome to join me at it sometime.”
The Warrior of Light sets his cup down on the table, smiling. “We are perhaps more alike than you imagine. I had thought to use the space in the yard to practice stances.”
“Stances?” Haurchefant repeats, perking up.
Aramond drums his fingers against the table, his gaze lowering. “Erm, casting stances, yes. There is a school of thaumaturgy dedicated entirely to balance of form, you know. At the guild in Ul’dah, it was not uncommon to see new initiates wavering on a tightrope, attempting to channel umbral forces without bruising their—ehm.”
He trails off, placing a hand to his mouth, as though wary of having said too much. Haurchefant, who has never witnessed the Warrior of Light exhibit any semblance of sheepishness, has to take another bite of bread to keep himself from laughing. He chews thoughtfully, tamping down his amusement.
“It sounds rather thrilling,” he says finally, trying very hard not to imagine the Warrior of Light tumbling from a tightrope.
“Only if one is bad at it,” Aramond replies, giving a small huff of laughter himself. “I was not. Though I fear if I do endeavor to join you, you may find my prowess with a blade somewhat lacking in comparison.”
“An exchange, then,” Haurchefant proposes, brightening. “As we are both in the habit of nightly exercise, perhaps I could teach you something of the blade and you could teach me your… stances.”
Aramond considers this for a moment as Haurchefant beams at the brilliance of his own plan. At last, with a certain fondness in his gaze, the Warrior of Light nods. Céder.
“It sounds a pleasant diversion,” he agrees. “So long as you do not mind a few bruises.”
“It should be no fun otherwise,” Haurchefant says, clapping his hands together. “It is settled, then. Sparring practice at sundown tomorrow. A new ritual for the both of us.”
Aramond lifts his tea into the air in a parody of a toast. “To us, then.”
Haurchefant holds up the remaining half of the bread loaf, tapping it against the side of Aramond’s cup. This makes the Warrior of Light snort in amusement, which in turn causes Haurchefant to grin.
“To us.”
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Virgil Sanders: Space Ecologist
Based on this post
Word Count: 3024
Rating: Teen
Pairings: none, platonic DLAMPR, familial Anxceit
Warnings: swearing, over-polluted planet (not earth), aliens
This is mostly an excuse for me to be a giant biology nerd, but put it in space
~~~START~~~
“What’s the word, Lo?” Virgil asked as he checked over his instruments one last time before tucking them into his pack.  
“The atmosphere of Illill-ii contains a toxic amount of oxide-rich molecules that could impair the function of the carcinian systems of many species.” Virgil’s helper-bot, L0-G4 series N (Logan, or Lo, for short), reported from where he was currently nested in his charging port.  
The Borstian Mining company had just vacated Illill-ii after having already decimated most of the life the planet had once sustained. Now it was Virgil’s job to see what was left, and assess what could be gone.  
If anything.  
“And now, considering I am a human, and very much without a carcinian system?” 
“The atmosphere presents no health concerns that would require a human to wear a spacesuit, but the relatively high levels of carbon dioxide to O2 could pose possible health concerns if you are planning any activities more strenuous than regular walking. I would suggest bringing an emergency breathing pack, but a regular breathing apparatus will be unnecessary.” 
“Thanks, Logan! Now what about Patton?” 
“Ah!” Patton yipped, the pog bouncing up and down at the mention of his name.  
“I do not recommend exposing a pog to this atmosphere. Nor do I recommend bringing a pog on a scientific outing, especially one that is meant to observe the fauna of this planet.” 
“Aww he won’t disturb anything, will you buddy?” Virgil asked, putting his bag aside in order to pet Patton. “Will you?” 
“Wah ah!” Patton yipped.  
“Yeah? Good boy!” 
“I do not recommend bringing a pog along on this outing,” Logan repeated. “I also do not recommend using a pog as a companion beast, or allowing fratoos to continue their infestation of your ship, but you have made your opinions on my recommendations quite clear.” 
“Patton doesn’t need to be a ‘traditional’ companion beast to be useful,” Virgil replied, used to Logan being a little surly about this topic. “His job is to be cute and cuddly; and besides, he’s part of the family, and so are Roman and Remus!” 
“The pog and fratoos are not part of your family; you are not the same species.” 
“Family comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes, Lo. We’re all family; me, Pat, Ro, Re, and even you.” 
“Illogical,” the robot replied.  
“Your mom is illogical,” Virgil said as he dug around for Patton’s protective bubble. The atmosphere may be unhealthy for him, but he still needed to be able to run around a play somewhere that wasn’t quite as cramped as Virgil’s little ship.  
“I do not have a mother,” Logan stated just as chittering started up in the walls.  
Seconds later, a little green shape shot out from behind Virgil’s atmospheric monitor and flew straight towards the man himself.  
Virgil easily grabbed the fratoo out of the air, pinning his wings to his sides and ignoring it as the little guy began biting at the hapose leather of his glove. A moment later, a red fratoo followed suit, this one landing calmly on Virgil’s shoulder, butting his tiny head against Virgil’s neck.  
“Remus, Roman,” Virgil greeted the pair. They’d lived on the ship longer than Virgil himself, and since they didn’t actually mess with any of the vital systems of the ship, Virgil allowed the small dragon-like creatures to remain. To most of the universe, fratoos were a pest that needed to be dealt with, but to Virgil, the two were just another part of the family.  
Remus continued biting and chittering, content to play-fight with Virgil’s hand.  
“You’re not coming.” 
Roman nipped unhappily at Virgil’s ear in response.  
“I need you two to watch the ship while I’m gone,” Virgil explained.  
“I do not recommend–” 
“They aren’t actually watching the ship, Logan, that’s what the security system is for.” 
“Ah, very good.” 
Virgil rolled his eyes fondly; Logan could be such a worrywart — though he would deny any such claim as he “is a robot, completely incapable of emulating the emotions of organic organisms.” 
One last check to make sure his pack was ready with everything he would, or could need while out in the field, then Virgil placed Remus in a box on the top shelf of his supply cabinet — it would take the two fratoos about ten minutes to get him out, which was more than enough time for Virgil, Logan, and Patton to head out — and placed Patton in his protective bubble.  
“Ready to go, L?” 
“I am fully charged,” Logan replied, disconnecting from his charger and hovering over Virgil’s shoulder.  
“Then let’s go!” 
Virgil opened the hatch and allowed Patton to bounce out first, followed by Logan. He shot one last glance back at the fratoos and found Roman diligently at work trying to release the lid of Remus’s temporary prison. Trapping Remus worked very well to take both brothers out of the equation as Roman would try to free his brother; Remus, on the other hand, would seek revenge first, leaving Roman to stew in his prison for a while.  
Once the hatch was closed behind him, it was time to get to work.  
For about an hour, Virgil and Logan took measurements of air quality, soil content, plant coverage, all the while making note of every organism they came across. Then it was finally time for them to start on the biodiversity tests.  
Not that there was much bio to be seen, let alone a diverse amount; other than some more resilient grass-type vegetation, they’d barely found a single living thing.  
Well… that is, until they found the nest.  
The nest was small, the diameter being barely more than the size of Virgil’s hand. It was nestled within a valley between two large mounds of tailings leftover from the overmining of the planet. The nest was outlined with small rocks, then filled in with dried, brittle plant matter that would probably turn to dust if Virgil tried to touch it. Sitting on top of the dried nesting materials was a single large yellow egg with purple speckles, a green scale-like pattern, and a brown spiral line that ran around the egg looking almost like one long crack.  
“What species lays eggs like that?” Virgil wondered aloud, half to himself and half to Logan.  
“This type of egg is not in my database,” Logan answered, sounding just the slightest bit frustrated at this shortcoming.  
“Is it… alive, do ya think?” Virgil asked, stooping down to look at the egg from another angle, while still keeping a respectful distance from the egg — if an animal-like organism laid this egg, he didn’t want to potentially scare it off.  
“Unlikely,” Logan answered. “There are no signs that anything other than us has come to this area in quite some time; if the egg had been viable, it is likely stillborn.” 
Virgil stared at the egg, then stood to survey their surroundings. There was nothing but piles of tailings and tall, coarse grass as far as the eye could see. The only trails through either the loose dirt or easily bendable grass were those belonging to Virgil or Patton — who was happily bouncing around in his bubble near a tailings pile in between where Virgil and Logan were studying an unknown egg and where Virgil’s small ship was parked — there was nothing to indicate that the egg had any kind of parent, at least not one that checked in on it at all.  
Mind made up, Virgil reached out to grab the egg. He cupped it gently, making note of shape and weight as he raised it up to his face; he couldn’t feel the texture through his gloves, but after closer inspection maybe he’d take the gloves off.  
The egg was heavy for its size, and from what Virgil could tell through the worn hapose leather, it was cold and rough. Virgil brought it up to his face for a closer inspection of the colors and patterns decorating the shell.  
“Are you sure you don’t know–” Virgil started, only to be cut off by the top of the egg lifting off to reveal a small, reptilian face.  
Virgil blinked at it in shock, but before he could do anything, the small head shot forward and small fangs pierced the skin of his nose.  
“GAH!” Virgil screeched, losing his grip on the egg in shock.  
The egg fell to the ground where it uncurled along the brown lines to reveal a small snake-looking creature with thick armor along its back. The snake quickly slithered back to the nest where it curled back up, looking once more like an egg.  
“What the fuck!?” Virgil hissed, clutching his lightly-bleeding nose with one hand.  
Patton, having been attracted by Virgil’s yelps, came bounding over, stopping just short of the nest and huffing indignantly at the “egg”.  
“Ah,” Logan said. “That is a fledgling of a Transformation Viper. Observing them in their fledgling stage is uncommon; this is a rare opportunity.” 
“A transformation viper?” Virgil asked, grabbing the still huffing Patton and holding him out of reach of the alien viper. “Scientific name?” 
“None available,” Logan answered.  
“How can there be no scientific name available?” 
“The planet of origin is unknown; therefore, a scientific name cannot be given. This species is quite difficult to track down, and finding a pure one is so rare that sequencing its original genome and thereby pinpointing its planet of origin has so far proven impossible.” 
“Okay… so can’t we sequence this one?” Virgil asked.  
“No,” the robot replied. “This transformation viper is no longer pure. Already its DNA is changing and integrating your DNA into its own genome.” 
“It’s WHAT!?” 
“A transformation viper gets its English name from its ability to integrate the DNA of other organisms into its own genome much like earth bacteria do when undergoing transformation. They acquire DNA from various donors by biting them — much like this one bit you just moments ago — and are capable of performing a complete overhaul of their physiology while in their fledgling stage; they continue this process after their fledgling stage, but they are no longer capable of making large physiological changes.” 
“…so– I– it’s–” Virgil stuttered, his mind racing to try and keep up with all this new information. “That — that thing– the viper thing — is going to be a human?” 
“There are no known occurrences of transformation vipers biting humans while in their fledgling stage,” Logan answered. “However, based on information from known transformation viper hybrids, this fledgling will become physically, mentally, and emotionally similar to a human young after emerging from its fledgling stage.” 
“It’s gonna be a child?” 
“Statistically speaking, that is the most likely outcome.” 
“…I’m not ready to be a father.” 
~~~ 
“I do not recommend–” 
“I know, Lo,” Virgil sighed. “I know, but if this–” he gestured to the sealed box that he had carefully moved both the transformation viper and its (his, as Logan had informed him would be the most likely outcome) nest into earlier “–is going to become a sentient, partially human child, then I have some responsibility to take care of him, and that means bringing him onto the ship.” 
“You have no such obligation to it,” Logan informed him. “It is a wild animal that was inhabiting a dying planet.” 
“Too late,” Virgil sing-songed as he carefully transferred the ‘egg’ from its box to the terrarium he’d built for it over the last couple days. “He’s my son now; his name is Janus, after an old earth story.” 
“You become attached to other life-forms much too easily,” Logan observed, unimpressed.  
“The human pack-bond instinct is strong,” Virgil joked. He tested the lid of the terrarium to make sure that Janus wouldn’t escape until he’d left his fledgling stage and became less likely to bite the other occupants of Virgil’s ship. “Janus will understand when he’s older… probably.” 
Having devoured every piece of information he could about transformation vipers, Virgil had come to the conclusion that towards the end of his fledgling stage, Janus’s armor would resolidify back into a real egg, which he would then hatch from as a viper/human hybrid baby. The best thing Virgil could do for him for now was keep him safe and warm.  
Hence the terrarium.  
Roman and Remus had landed on the lid of the terrarium and were inspecting their new shipmate carefully. There wasn’t much to see as Janus preferred to take the form of an egg unless he was threatened or hunting, but they were still curious.  
Patton was much less interested in Janus, having decided on that first day that he didn’t like the viper. Mostly he either ignored the terrarium, or glowered at it from a distance.  
Logan remained unimpressed by Virgil’s actions, but still monitored Janus’s development closely (the chance to observe a fledgling transformation viper was rare after all).  
Over the next several weeks, Virgil continued his survey of the planet, moving from location to location every few days. In all the biomes he visited, he found signs of only the most resilient native species; by his estimations, over eighty percent of the native species of Illill-ii were completely extinct, and eighty-seven percent of the biomass was decimated.  
The planet would never return to what it had been before the mining company had moved in; the best they could do was monitor it as it grew back.  
Who knows, maybe new life will emerge from the destruction.  
By the time it was time to depart from Illill-ii, Janus had exited his fledgling stage, and was now a proper egg once more. Though he had searched high and low, Virgil had been unable to find any trace of any other transformation viper on Illill-ii, leaving Janus’s origins as a complete mystery.  
It happened on their tenth day in space.  
They were ten days past Illill-ii, and two days out from Eco-6 (the station that Virgil normally operated out of), when the egg hatched.  
Virgil’s ship was small — just a single person control room, one small living space that he had mostly set up as a lab, and a washroom that was little more than a closet. He hadn’t needed a whole lot of space, seeing as it was just him, a series N robot, a small pog, and two tiny fratoos.  
Now though… Well, one tiny cot in the corner of a lab wasn’t going to be enough space for Virgil and a baby.  
Virgil was lying on his cot — Patton curled up on his chest and Roman and Remus nesting peacefully in the folds of his blanket — when suddenly there were the quiet sounds of cracking, followed by much louder sounds of crying.  
“The transformation viper has hatched,” Logan informed him needlessly from his charging port.  
“Thanks, L!” Virgil pushed himself out of bed (careful not to send anyone flying) and launched himself across the room.  
In the terrarium, the thick shell of the egg was now broken, strewn about the enclosure. Where the egg had once been, a baby — much smaller than a regular human baby, but the right size to have come out of the egg.  
The baby’s skin was the same yellow as the egg shell, with purple freckles and small patches of green scales littering his body. His hair was thick, coarse, and brown, and in his mouth — open as he wailed — were two small fangs.  
“Hi Janus,” Virgil breathed as he set about opening the terrarium.  
Janus stopped crying at the sound of his voice and opened his eyes to blink owlishly up at him. His eyes were mismatched as they stared at Virgil in wonder — one very human, and green like Virgil’s own, and one very snake-like, slitted pupil and yellow iris.  
Finally, Virgil had the terrarium lid open and lifted Janus out of the dirt. He was heavy for his size, and while he was much smaller than a newborn, he was also more developed than one, being able to sit up and support his neck without Virgil’s help.  
“Welcome to the crew, kid.” 
Roman and Remus hovered around Virgil’s head, watching the baby curiously. Roman in particular seemed to have caught Janus’s attention as the baby followed his movement closely.  
“I do not recommend allowing–” 
But Logan didn’t get a chance to finish his statement before Janus’s hand had suddenly shot out and snatched the little red fratoo right out of the air, and stuffed him into the baby’s mouth.  
“NO!” Virgil screeched, prying the little guy out as he chittered and thrashed nervously.  
Once Roman was freed from Janus’s mouth, he shot away, glaring at the baby from a safe distance from over by the monitor bank.  
Patton, having been alarmed by both Virgil’s and Roman’s distress, was yipping frantically, bouncing all around. Remus, on the other hand, seemed amused by his brother’s sudden shock and was continuing to dart around Janus playfully.  
Janus took a moment to realize that his chew toy had been taken away, before breaking into a new bout of wailing.  
“It’s okay! It’s okay,” Virgil said, trying to soothe the upset baby. “We’ll find you something else to chew on. Something that isn’t alive, okay?” 
He scanned frantically around the room, but unfortunately, he didn’t have much to offer that would be safe for a baby (he hadn’t exactly been expecting to acquire one while out doing routine field work). In the end, he had to make do with an old sock rolled up into a ball, and while that did soothe the baby, it wasn’t exactly an ideal solution.  
“I do not recommend–” 
“Then what do you recommend, Lo?” Virgil cut the robot off impatiently.  
Logan did not reply.  
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Look, when we get back to base, I can get some baby-appropriate supplies, but until then, we have to work with what we’ve got, okay?” 
“I recommend applying a clean towel as a diaper; sooner rather than later,” Logan finally said.  
“Thanks, L,” Virgil sighed, the reality of having a — mostly — human baby finally hitting him.  
It was going to be a long two days back to base. 
~~~END~~~
I have a lot more thoughts about the biology of Janus’s species that didn’t fit into their fic, so if you want to hear them just let me know. I’d love be just go super-nerd
I spent a long time debating whether Janus should be a transformation viper or a conjugation viper, but I decided that transformation was closer to what he was doing (but I still think conjugation sounds cooler)
Might make this into a series idk
General taglist:
@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @knight-shives @misunderstood-shadowling
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lynxindisguise · 11 months
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what if he was both, actually. two wolves, you might say. a sopping wet, noodly blob of wool with the driest, most cutting sense of humour. tripping over his own feet and rolling his own joints. deliberately uncomfortable in his skin and accidentally serving cunt. flimsy and soft and jagged and prickly. crying at people’s kindness and laughing at their cruelty. sunshine for his grumpy friends and grumpy for his sunshine friends. a weary old man surly teen freckled scarred nerd goth loser punk with hair too dark to be blonde and too ashy to be brown. might be fun, idk. 
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zzmemes · 1 year
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Mission Hill “A Bang for Two Brothers” sentence starters
“Believe me, I’ve got better things to do on a Saturday night than watch TV.”
“Hey, wanna get sloshed?”
“No more talking, starting now.”
“Oh, sorry, I just made last-minute plans to have sex with somebody else.”
“Sure you don’t wanna join us? We’ve got gingersnaps.”
“I’ve got some serious partying to do. Try not to accidentally nerd yourselves to death while I’m gone.”
“You’ve got a knife sticking out of your head!”
“Hey, how do you play this thing?”
“Yeah, go on, get out of here, loser!”
“Ever since I moved here, I’ve kinda thought you hated me.”
“So, you wanna go do something tomorrow, maybe go see a movie?”
“How ‘bout some last-minute sex, baby?”
“Sorry I’m late but I had to bring my stupid sister.”
“I see you’re studying complementarity. Which construct of the universe do you subscribe to?”
“It’s the big sci-fi convention. Would you like to come?”
“Why don’t we have a big sleepover tonight before the con?”
“Damn Klingons.”
“You don’t have to be afraid of me. I’m just a woman.”
“Do you do birthday parties?”
“Get away from me, you snake in the grass!”
“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting like Surly McDouchebag all day.”
“Uh, no, ewoks don’t do things like that.”
“Help, an insane perverted lunatic is trying to kill me!”
“Face it, you never had a chance with her.”
“You didn’t give me enough time to work my magic.”
“You can’t punish me. You’re not my father!”
“At first I thought you were really cute and that we had a lot in common, but then I realized how immature you are.”
“Maybe I’ll give you a call next time I visit, but you’d better get your act together and grow up a little.”
“Why would she think you were cute? Unless she meant cute like a gnome or something?”
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cebwrites · 7 months
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i'm in love with lami's brother
a/n: mad tsai once again fueling me to write god bless, i got this all out in like two hours i'm beat ┗( T▽T )┛ really though what i'm getting from all of this is that this "Stacy", whoever she is, can never catch a break
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oc x canon, modern au, they/he law but "brother" is used a lot mildly suggestive at the end but nothing explicit word count: 1.1k
Trafalgar Lami.
Straight-A honors student, top of her class, sociable and popular in every circle she mingled with, an overall darling to be around. And also seating buddies with his brother in the fancy med school Tacchan got a scholarship for.
Kirin's interactions with her were short if not pleasant whenever the nerds were around the house to study, alone together or with other friends. He wasn't fussed about it, as much as their grandmother would complain about "letting a boy and girl be like that" what his 22 year old brother did in his own spare time was none of his business.
Plus, there was the other kid with pink hair that made Takashi flush just by leaning against him. Lami was the last thing on Kirin's mind where his baby bro was concerned.
Her gaze on him, however, didn't go unnoticed.
Coming 'round the house with the excuse that she needed complete and utter peace to study and that Takashi's place was the quietest in comparison to all her other friends, even though there was definitively more noise here if Kirin was around with company.
They were nice enough about it, although they couldn't promise that there wouldn't be the wayward thumping or laughter every now and then. Aside from buckling down for the next exam, the lot of them would hang out to unwind after the books and study guides were put away.
The boys—grown mascs nearing or in their 30s—were pleasant company, Lami had a of common ground with Alto between absolutely smoking Takashi at Mario Cart while his older brother howled in laughter. Where the couple was concerned, Lami found herself glancing at Kirin whenever they did something "mushy" as the group would tease, trying to somehow will the heat away from her ears.
It made sense, right? The goody two shoes, doe-eyed med student falling for the guy in black nail polish and leather with even punkier friends. Half her friend group threatening him if he broke her heart and the other secretly cheering on Lami's supposed "bad boy" romance. The song and dance every young adult novelist and consumer was familiar with.
Only that Kirin wasn't very inclined and every time he'd tried to be straight (ha) with his intentions something had gotten in the way.
One of those obstructions being her older brother.
College dropout and a year younger than Kirin himself, whose room was decked out in 2010s emo memorabilia when he peeked into their room once in passing, Law was prickly upon first—several—interactions but Lami reassured Kirin that her brother was sweeter than he let on, kicking them under the table as a signal not to embarrass her; to which Law replied with a surly moue and left to skulk in their room.
As Lami invited Kirin and his brother over to hang out at her place, Kirin and his motorbike being Takashi's ride home, it put the two older siblings in closer proximity to each other more often.
It was almost like Law was being intentionally antagonistic at first despite the fact that they seemingly shared a lot of the same interests, deliberately giving Kirin the cold shoulder though Lami would respond with sharp elbows to his side for being a weirdo in front of the "cool" guy she liked.
It was a month before Law finally broke the act and lightened up after a dinner with both their siblings and the addition of the Trafalgar kids' dad Corazon. Both Kirin and their dad shared the same goofy sense of humor and kept giggling and jabbing at each other all night, seeing as much released a lot of tension in Law's shoulders about this "stranger".
At some point in the night, Law leaned over to joke that if she wasn't careful their dad would end up walking away with her little crush instead. Takashi nearly dropped the stack of plates meant for the sink he was carrying when he had to pull Lami away from strangling her cackling brother with the dish rag.
From then on interactions between Law and Kirin went a lot smoother - passive aggression from their rough start was replaced with mutual teasing, banter every time they met and knowing looks and introducing friend groups. Soon enough they were hanging out without the need for their baby siblings being there.
They were friends. Friends who shared and teased each other about their music taste, that could confide in each other about their queerness and gender and how confusing all of that was, about complicated family relationships and maybe even the selfishness of wanting a break from everything for a while.
So what if they sat together, it was nice being comfortable in each other's spaces. Law blew off the questioning brow raised their way when Kirin rested his chin on their shoulder to peek at the comic they were gushing over. Kirin ignored the look Takashi gave him when he shuffled on his platforms decked out in full punk gear at 10pm to catch some obscure concert with Law.
Lami had backed off at this point, taking the hint when a few weeks earlier Kirin showed up to their hangout at the arcade with his boyfriend almost if not even more affectionate with him than the husbands of the friend group. If Law had made a face or commented on Reiji's presence at any point throughout the day, Lami didn't notice.
She must have not passed on the message, though, because Law took Kirin by surprise when they asked him, leaning back in the swivel chair at their desk while the other man lay sprawled across his bed,
"Hey, are you going to make a move on my sister or not?"
Kirin's eyes peeled open one after another, sitting up on one arm to stare at them with a look of bewilderment before the dots in his brain fully connected, neither wanted to meet each other's gaze right away.
"Nah, don't think she'd like me as a boyfriend," Kirin took to fiddling with one of Law's bracelets on the nightstand while they sat on the edge of the bed in his periphery, "'sides, she's not really my type."
Law rested their weight on one hand, dangerously close to the exposed bit of Kirin's midsection underneath his crop top. The chemistry between them was electrifying.
"Yeah? Who is your type then."
Kirin chanced a look up at their eyes, though his gaze drifted almost immediately to Law's lips.
"I think you already know what my answer's going to be, Law."
One leg swung over his torso to straddle the larger man, Kirin's hands running up the length of their ripped skinny jeans on Law's thighs, Law shook their head, "Tell me what I want to hear, darling."
All Kirin could offer in the moment was a love-stupid smile.
Sorry, Lami I'm in love with your big brother xx
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moonlarked · 1 year
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wylie hcs?
I have. Procrastinated. Sorry.
Well one of my main hcs for Wylie is he’s a book enthusiast. He’s very academic and scholarly and loves a good read. (Rayni teases him for it. She thinks he’s a huge nerd.)
I think he started burying himself in his studies after both his parents were taken. He was a surly teenager, angry at the Council, but he’s quiet by nature and needed something to focus on so he wouldn’t explode with anger and grief. So he focused on his schoolwork.
He wants change. There’s no doubt of that. He had an awful upbringing that hardly anyone in the elven world could relate to. He started off in the series as bitter and hopeless, then desperate and angry, and has slowly gotten happier and is on the way to healing.
He’s a mature person - older than the rest of the main crew - and he tends to recognize authority more than the kids, as seen in Stellarlune.
Also, he’s aroace :)
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mortifiedandawesome · 10 months
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It was an easter sunday. my brother lived in the countryside, away from the town like 35-40 minutes away. prior to the meal, the video he put in was I was a Teenage Werewolf, but it was the MST3K version.
my mom could NOT understand why there were people talking during it (despite the fact that my family was a Talk During Movies/tv type of annoying family). I was a Surly Teen in my 20s.
My family didn't appear to give a shit about entertainment. She called him STEINFELDT even still after Seinfeld ended.
WHY did I not ask HOW my brother had a MST3K tape? Where did he get it? he had no cable, no satellite, was NOT a nerd.
I knew MST3K by then, of course, but... how? how did my brother have this? Did he understand? Could the concept of a man trapped in space with robots forced to watch movies be comprehended?
where did it come from? He's long dead. This was decades ago. How did I not have the SLIGHTEST curiosity about it at the time?
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nymphoheretic · 11 months
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OOOO THE FLEXIBILITY PART😭
I wanna split on that dick
AND FOR MR SORROW
him calling you his smart girl and asking you questions while drilling into your cunny-
“It makes me so sad. You’re so smart but you can’t answer this question? You’re my smart girl surly you know this. Come on. Tell me. Tell me or I’ll stop.”
Aka two nerds fucking
-⛓
✍️🏾✍️🏾✍️🏾
Aizetsu is and always will be a soft little sadistic monster once he gets a little pussy.
Each you get a question wrong, he lightly pinches your clit, fucking up into you until he feels your walls fluttering around him then he stops all movements.
"Only my smart gets to cum. Aren't you her? Come on, it pains me to see you be so dumb? I know you can do it. Do I for me. Or...have a fucked your cute little brain out?"
Cute little sadistic fucker
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